Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-07-18
Hawk.Eyetems.

stomach like ripe cherries, swallowed
whole.
But I will not linger upon this
point" as the preacher said when he
sat down on the carpet tack.
There's bound to be trouble in this
old country yet. They are Taunton
Massachusetts and Macon Georgia mad.
"This is no choke" as the prisoner
said when the sheriff was adjust
ing the moose. But he lied, for it was.
"Crab cider and " medicated lemon.
ado are cautiously creeping into tie
ice cream saloons of the anti.license
towns in Iowa.
If this kind of weather will only keep
on few weeks longer, the regular an
nual Charles Francis Adams boom NAV
begin to thaw out.
"The price of liberty is eternal vigi-
lance ) strawberries, perhaps, are a
tritle cheaper, but then you can't get
them on such long time.
A convention of shooting clubs is an
nounced to be held at Dallas, Texas,
some time this month. The dispatch
doesn't say who they are going to shoot.
All through the month of May there
were continually growing and recurring
doubts in the minds of men, whether
the man who eats onions can go to
heaven.
One of our exchanges has long
leading article entitled, 1.-THE cry of the
demagogue." We have read the article
carefully and think it was correctly
headed.
How asks the Nercwy, "can boys
be kept from the streets at night?"
Well, moving the billiard parlor and
the variety theater into the back yard
would be pretty good way.
Bismarck says, g Beer makes men
stupid, lazy and impotent." Bismarck
can say that in safety but just sup
pose, for one moment, that any Of the
rest of us had said it? Whew
We never could understand why a
light rain could make race track
heavy. p. Sand what's more, it
doesn't. but fellow has to say some
thing smart, even though his regard for
the truth compels him to take it back
IN the next line.
Paul Boyton successfully loated from
Oil City down the Ohio and Mississippi
rivers to New Orleans, and now, if
some man wants to just cut Captain
Boyton's comb down close, let him
float from New Orleans up to Oil City.
Then there will be music in the air.
The rapid approach of the long yaca-
ton has n hilarious influence on the
minds and actions of the pupils of the
public schools, and the boy who was a
model of decorum the first few weeks
OF the term, now spends the greater
part of his time getting up Off the
teacher ruler.
"My only and sufficient excuse for
being" said the tall tramp with the bow
legs and one eye, sis my personal
beauty" And it would astonish the
vagabond if he could go into the best
society and find how many men have
the same excuse, or about the same
foundation for existence.
There were only sixty.seven opera
houses open in Italy this season. We
thought there had been an unusual
amount of Italian operate talent i'm
ported into this country during the
past year. Nearly every town has had
at least one artist who could play selec,
tons from Norma" on hand organ.
Stick to one thing" says the New
York Herald, "until it is done, and
we'll DONE" The man who wrote that
must have been inspired by watching
the tenacity of purpose which inspires
a spoonful of tar on pine board, doing
its level best to overshadow the bright
prosperity of the afterg uard of an un-
wary pair of linen pantaloons.
A West Hill man sat up one night
till two o'clock in the morning, throw
ing poker dice with fellow from Ne
braska City, and then when they rose
to go, and the West Hitler felt that all
that he had was the mans, he smiled
sadly, and in low, sweet tones, more
in sorrow than in anger, remarked that
she didn't know they were loaded"
A new paper announces that its read
ers "will find it full of vim, vinegar
and vitriol." Not very much of an in
ducement for people to take the paper.
luey Gun HHu u ute us Hucu WIN III tue
meekest mule that ever lifted dash
board, vinegar they can get in any
quantity at the grocery, and the drug
store is the proper place to 60 for
vitriol.
A budding poet down in Keokuk
country sends us his first song which
begins.
"pm lonely tonight, for the friends of my
childhood,
Are sleeping, they dreamltssly sleep in the
bed"
Well, that's all right, don't disturb
them. You wouldn't want them to
sleep under the bed, would you?
We cannot all travel. 1t may be
denied many of us to see with our own
eyes the glories and wonders of the 70
Semitic, but we can all go down to Main
street and gaze enthralled upon the
gorgeous sublimity of the new circus
porter. We observe that so much more
flowing gore has been allotted to the
tiger this summer, that the young lady
about to jump through the banner has