The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1879-01-20
THE TOM-RI-JONS.

RAMBLING LECTURE AT HARRY HILLS ON
VARIOUS SUBJECTS, WITH ILLUSTRATIONS By
RETALIAToR AND AyENGER.
At half past nine O'Clock las. night the entire
Tom-Ri-Jon family OF Volcano notoriety, stepped on
the stage of Harry Hills variety theatre. There was
the familiar figure of Sui H. Don Mrs. Tom RJon)
dressed III suit of black, frock coat and we'll fitting
trousers-the coat being ornamented with brass
buttons. There also was DR.. Tom Iii-Jon heavily
built man, with full black beard. hair
that stood up from his forehead like
array Of brises Retalitor l., aged four years, and
Avenger l.. aged two years. The younger members
of the redoubtable family accommodated with
baby chairs. but seemed to be i'll at and evnced
inclination to roam about the stage. When the
family OF lecturers introduced the audience
broke ont into applause. i'll which Harry Hills
pet dog enthusiastically Joined. The Doctor,
who looked as if he had just been
awakened from a sound sleep, began u
rambling discourse upon everything in general He
said that he had considerable experience OF Jail life
deserve it and others because they have done nothing
wrong. The prison fare is not good but then it
would be very nard for the officials to discriminate
between prisoners. II want to say something" said
the Doctor, with spasniodic effort at gestculaton,
''about the tyranny OF fashion. Now, my companion
there she lshas adopted dress that just suits her..
At this moment Avenger left his seat and began
Investigation OF pie OF papers on the table. eyi.
in the object of his search he was about to set
howl, when his mother drew him away from the
Doctors side. I'VE have petticoats in
house." continued the Doctor, strokng his beard.
'and consequently there can be petcoat govern
ment" Here he paused but the audience did not
to for the joke. MY conpanion--thcre she is
is good lecturer at home. When she commenced
her lectures there l weighed only l2y pounds and
now we Oh from IT'S to is5 pounds. Women should
lecture their husbands. have been married before;
but the lectures of my first wife were calculated to
reduce my weight rather than otherwise"
"A WALKING ADvERTIsEMENr.''
At this point isetsliator took Avengers chair from
the bills II couldn't get into Central Park when
came TO New York at first, continued the Doctor,
scratching his head, ''Decause l walk
ing advertisement. Neither could my companion
there, for both OF advertisements. Now,
why do trails? You =
gentleman with one no matter how rich he may be.
trail costs money to repair aud 1t is also dangerous
in getting OF and on the Then why should po-
licemen escort ladies across the street? Ladies
should be able to take care OF themselves. My
panion there was arrested when she first came to
New York because she adopted dress
that suited her. Now she her own
clothes and l wear mine, although sometimes
borrow her oyercoat. Why shouldn't gentleman
wear his wfe's overcoat when he wants to? We
came late tonight through the fault of my compan-
ions tailor who was afraid to measure her for her
suit of clothes. am great talker, but must now
give way to my companion, who Will speak to you.'
ATTIRE.
The Doctor then stepped to the of the stage
and undertook the OF the young Tom hi ions,
while the lady advanced to speak her piece She said
that she had worn her present style of dress for
five years. and would recommend it highly to
ladies' instead OF the fashions from Paris.
which adopted without any tuouSnt 10
whether they sensible not. 1T may be
considered, said the lady, las too masculine but
don't what people may think What matters it
il be mistaken for gentleman in the street? The
dress is easy and comfortable and not sonconvenent
that which ladies generally wear" She denied
the insinuation that Ietaliator aud Avenger were
adopted chi .dren. They her own. and her hus.
band has taken care of them since they were six
weeks old. Business has not been good with
her since the novelty of her dress has or Gen
temen prefer to take ont their tobacco pouches
instead of their pocketbooks Consequently she
proposes give up her occupation Volcano vender
and to take to the lecture with the Doctor ard
the youthful Tom Ri ions. Her mission will be to
urge the adoption of by ALL irrespective Of
AFTER OPERA"
While the lady holding forth on the question
of dress the Doctor occupied himself in airnlessly
promenadng the stage. evidently from his distracted
manner, in search of some idea that had escaped
him. Mrs. Tom-RJon then retired to don
her street dress and to carry her bundle of papers
among the audience. while the Doctor continued
in his musing mood. Not the tender strains
the xylophone in the orchestra could him.
Retaliator then came forward and was, apparently,
about to make few remarks, when his father dis
covered him and ruthlessly thwarted the young
orators ambition.
what do think of the Demijohns?" answered
Harry Hill to number of questioners, 'if their
paper like their lecture, it won't set the public
fire.