davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
TWO VALUABLE INVENTIONS.
tsrom ,be Virginia (Nev.) Chronicle

[From the Virginia (Sev) Chronicle.1
The following new inventions by
residents ofNeyada have been caveat-
ed at tie Washington Patent Office:
A barbc,'s MuZZle. This is very SER
yiceable contlivance, which can be
fastened over BARRIERS mouth 10
prevent him from talking while
shaving customers. 1t is made OF
iron, padded inside, and can be ias-
tened securely so as TO cover the
whole mouth. IL Is furnished with
clamps and screws which are hxea
at the head. Price, 50 80, Those
furnished with lever attachment
for the purpose of breaking the bar
ber's jaw come at So. The plates
which lit on the cheek are of the best
chilled steel. The bonnet grappla.
This little machine is designed to be
of great service to theatre. goers. 1t
is an ordinary grapp!irg-hook with
rope attached. The grapp!e Is thrown
over any lady's bonnet which may
happen to obstruct the view, and tbe
| crowd behind can always be depends
ed upon to pull the rope. II some
times disfigures the lady's face per-
manently, i'll which case she never
returns to again obstruct the view.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
ENFORCE IT.

1t is not generally known, we are led
to believe. says the San Francisco Post.
that the following ordinance was pas
sed by the board OF supervisors this
week An act entitled an act to amend
an act for the suppression OF converse.
tlonal "Pinafore" aud other crimes. "Be
it hereby enacted that any person or per-
sons whatsoever who shall make use OF
such expressions as "Well. how's your
friend Grant to-day?" ''By the way.
did 1 tell you that was the first man in
Sah Francisc, to shake hands with the
General P" or words to that effect,
either in public or in private, or who
shall, withou, just cause and provocation'
relate personal recollections concerning
said Grant beginning, That reminds
me that when l was on Thingamajig'
staff, down in the valley" &c, said
persons shall be adjudged guilty OF
felony and subject to fine Of not les
than $50, 900 and Imprisonment not less
than twenty-five years, or both" Nov
we shall see whether this sort of thins
IS to be stopped or not.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
A LITTLE SHIP.
[From the N. Y. sun.l

The little boat Golden Gate. accord
ing to a letter received in Boston, safely
arrived at the Cape de Verde Islands.
after an ocean passage OF fifty eight days
in which the craft proved herself an ex-
celient sea boat. 1t is to be hoped, how
ever, that this good luck, joined with
good seamanship, will mot stimulate
O,hors to cockboat foolishness, The
Golden Gate is the smallest ship that
ever crossed the ocean. being only AZ
feet long, Sd beam at the water line q
deep and OF III tons burden. The little
schooner-rlgged craft carries 10 square
wards OF canvass, and is exceedingly
well planned and we'll built. while her
company, Burrll and Can, are hardy
and experienced sailors. Nevertheless,
she has undertaken a long and perilous
voyage. From Cape de Verde she is
now on her way to the Cape OF Good
Hope, and thence she will cross the In
dian Ocean, which is not the least dan
gerous part of her trip, to Melbourne.
Successful or not, these adventurous
mariners must be put down rs going on
IA ioolhardy voyage, and they may
think themselves fortunate II they es-
cape the fate OF the miniature ship in
which the Goldsmiths embarked on a
| los. hazardous trip.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
SOME THEATRICAL BY-PLAYS.

A very wea tenor in Dublin singing
feebly, caused one of the gods to shout
to an acquaintance across the gallery,
"Corney, what noise is that?" Be
dad, l believe it's the gas whistlin' in
the pipe" said Corney.
In the same lively city late mayor
gave his patronage, and was hailed with
"cheer for the ex-mayor." When
quiet was restored, a voice called out,
Now, boys. cheer for the double \
mayor" (Mr. Guinness. the great
brewer, was then filling the civic chair
A Sir William Foadlove. in 1.-The Love
Chase" summing up his personal ad
vantages, says, conceitedly enough :
"Pm every atom what man should
be-" A man slightly lame was playing
the part, when at this point voice from
the pit cried, Barring the game leg,
Freddy"
On an Iago. who was disfigured by a
irightful obliquity OF vision, saying to
Othello, "Wear your eye thus" one OF
the spectators unkindly remarked, "He
can't, you fool; he hasn't larnt how to
| couint
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
APosTRoPHE TO WATER.

water! The Falernian of the Triune
How the sunlight glitters, and flashes, and
dances
Through It's pelucid depths See. how it glows,
As though it were u mnss of liquid diamonds.
Beautiful water! Brew by our Father
In heaven, to slake the thirst OF his children.
And where doth He brew it
Not IN the Simmering still,
O'er smoky fires, chOked with poisonous grass,
And foeted with the odors of rank corruption.
But in the green glade.
And the mossy deli. where the red deer wanders,
And the golden haired child loves to play.
There doth He brew it-beautIful water
And down in the deep valleys, where
The fountains murmur Iow-toned music.
And the little rils sing twilight vespers
To the listening angels. There doth He brew it.
Beautiful water And, high up. on the tall
Mountain top where the everlasting granite
Records the footsteps OF the passing cent turles.
Aud the grim storm King makes his
Memoranda on til. cycles of Time
There doth He brew it. Beautiful water
And far out on the bosom of the blue sea,
Where the typhcOn roars, and the white-lipped
Waves answer back iii tunuituous chorus.
There doth our Father in heaven prepare
This precious essence, the beautiful water.
| he loves 1t because 1t typlies Himself.
| Look at II III this goblcl-itIs Is water
Look al it on the white peaks OF the Alps
| Ii Is snow Look again INTO the frozen
| Regions Of the Arctic seas-lt Is ice
Snow, ice and water. thrce-Dut one,
| A. there are three divine persons in one God.
| Beautiful water! How it geams In the morn.
! On the lip of the southern flower; how it
Sparkl-s IN the evening through the northern
frost
Till all the trees seem laden with flashing Jewels
Beautiful water! Foaming and rushing
| In The lordly Mississlppi. leaplng and dancing
In the cataract of Niagara. sleeping
| In the stately glacier. like Il babe
on the white breast of its young mother;
And ringing IN the hailstOrm, like
The truInpet-blast OF the ArchanXel.
Beautiful water
| Which Mt the command of the Eternal
| Did become the bridegroom oil Earth,
| And as IL token of His enduring love,
Did circle her with the rainbow,
AS with Il bridal ring.
The rainbow
The beautiful rainbow, whose warp
Is the raindrcp of earth. and whose wool
Is the sunbeam OF heaven,
Look at it
No blood stains the lip of the virgin glass,
e No ghost rises from Its crystal depths,
e | To prOphcsy death and damnhtiOn, in the face
| Of the reeling drunkard!
Beautiful water!
| Broken hearted wives, pale faced widows,
And furnishing children can weep
No accusing tears upon thine innocent bosom
And the besottcd maniac, who has but an no
:, Between him and his God. could nurse
Some hope, had he not forgotten heaven
al And thee.
ii Beautiful water
ST When !he Great Captain Iings the last bell,
III And our fraii boat backs out from all
RS lis earthly moorings, oh, bear us on
To the glorious shores of the hereafter,
II Where. upon the eternal streams,
OF the elysian fields, We may glide on
Forever, seeing no one, knowing no one
L. Save only God, our beloved ones and thee.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
JOHN WALKER FOR GOVERNOR.

EDITOR INTELLIGENCER:- Missouri is
one of the greatest agricultural and
stock raising states in the union. Then
would it not we'll become our people to
elect as their next governor a man rep
resenting these large and predominating
interests? Would it not be well for US
to elect man of sound judgment, and
practical knowledge of affairs in gen
eral; a man we'll known to our people
as one possessing all the necessary quail
ifications of honesty and integrity, and
an abiding interest in the prosperity OF
our agriculture and mechanics; man
thoroughly acquainted with all the va
rious interests in the state-in other
words, man of tho people, one who
has been bred and reared in the demo-
cratic school of economy, and whose
democracy Is second to no mans. Such
a. man is the Hon. John Walker, oi
Howard county. Far would l be from
advocating Mr.. Walker for this high
and responsible position simply on the
ground OF his being farmer, or mem
ber OF the grange. His being a mem
ber of the grange or any other orde1
does not in the least enter, nor should
enter into the canvass, Tor this, as al
other secret orders, should be non-po
litical, and the man who runs tor othc
on secret society connections is sure
defeat; bnt he is advocated because Q
his high standard of fitness and qualifl
eaton and his fealty to the democratl
party, and because he is a man fre
from all demagogism and outwar
show. We want plain and unassun
ing statesman a man of honor and dig
nitv, and one whom our citizens will t
proud to call governor of the great stat
= of Missouri. We want to have, tn
time, a Blue Jeans" in the gubern
ltorial chair. These are the sentlmen
of life long farmer. Yours,
Il LAFAYETTE.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
THE WAY TO HEALTH.

The only true way to health is that
which common sense dictates to man.
Live within the bounds OF reason. Eat
moderately, drink temperateIy, sleep
regu arly, avoid excess IN anything, and
preserve a conscience "void OF oflense."
Some men eat themselves to death;
some drink themselves to death; some
wear out their lives by incidence. and
some by over-exertion others are killed
by the doctors, while not few sink into
the grave under the effects i, of vicious !,
aud beastly practices. All the medicines
in creation are not worth a farthlng to
a man who is constantly and habitually
violating the laws OF his own nature.
All the medical science in the world can
not save him from premature grave.
With suicidal course OF conduct, he is
planting the seeds of decay in his own
constitution, and accelerating the de-
structiou of his own life.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
A SMILE FOR CoUNTRYBRED MEN

A father never thinks his ten-year-
old son is stronger than horse until he
EMPLOYS him to turn the grindstone to
sharpen an old AK that is about as sharp
at one end as at the other. The old
man bears on until the lads eyes hang
out and his trousers buckle flies of and
lust before he bursts blood vessel, his
father encourages him with the remark.
Observation-Disclosures ?' Thousands
of bows have run away from home and
become pirates and greeDbackers IN or
der to escape a second Siege at the
prindStOne.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
AN EASY ONE.

There is a 12-yearold youngster on b
street, who never fails in answering any
question put to him. His father tried to
stump him with this problem:
.Mv son. suppose you had kitchen
in the northwest corner of your house,
and a stable IN the southwest corner OF
your yard, so that when the wind blew
from the northwest there was strong
smell OF corned beet and cabbage in the
house and when the wind came from the
southeast there was strong horse odor
about the premises, how would you acl
to prevent the corned-beef odor from
permeating the kitchen and the horses
odor from pertuming the stable"
Why" replied the lad, I'D keep my
horses in the kitchen and cook my corn
ed beef in the stable"
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
A MOE AMUSEMENT.

San Buenaventura has had four days
of bull-ighting. On the second day a
drunken Mexican got into the corral on
foot. and challenged bull. which knock
ed him down and trampled him under
foot. There was great excitement tor
a few minutes. The horsemen rushed
on the bull and drew his attention to the
other side of the corral. when the man,
whom it was thought had been killed,
was removed. He was pretty badly cut
about the head, but was cared for. In
twenty minutes after he had been drag
ged out he was back again, but sober
enough to keep the fence between him
self and the bull. On the third day ;
straw man was tied on the BULBS bacl
and bunch of fire-crackers to his tail
The sport wore out. however, as it was
assuming too much of the circus style
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
POLITICAL.
Efforts to Re-unitc the Party in
New York.

New YORK, November ia letter
from Syracuse to the Herald says: "Ef-
iorts are being made, with prospects OF
success. to harmonize the conflicting,
eiements of the democratic party OF this
state, having the endorsement OF Sena-
tor Herman, Judge Comstock, Judge
Pratt and ex-senator Raines, who have
held a conference upon the subject. A
conference of all the leading democrats
of the state to take action in regard to
the matter is to be called at Utica. Ex-
Governor Seymour was approached
upon the subject of becoming demo-
cratic candidate tor president. but per-
emptorily declined, although urging
harmony in order to secure tho state to
| the democrats.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
VIRGINIA COUNTED IN. BUT DE-
CLINES.
fFrom The New York Tribune J

(FrOm tHc NV I UFh lEi''t.tIE- ?
WASHINGTON, ID. C., November IA.
The election commissioners OF Nor
folk county, Virginia, gave the elec-
,ion to Griffin, democratic candidate
for state >enator, over his republican
competitor, Bousk. because the name
of the latter was misspelt i'll IL NUM-
ber OF ballots. Counting al! ballots
evidently intended for Boush, he was
elected; bu, the commissioners took
advantage of technicalities to throw
out votes enough to elect Griffith. Mr.
Griffin has addressed comwunnca-
ton to the commissioners declining
the certificate on the ground that 1t
was evidently the intention of Il ma
ioritv of the voters to elect Boush.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
WE'LL SAID.

Speaking of Democratic rnle III Mis-
souri,. the St. Louis Times truthlully
saws. And a farther significant TACT is
that the greatest growth and fewest
crimes and the best schools are III those
very counties where democratic rule IS
most absolute. and where no other rule
would have been possible under a tree
ballot. So rich the resources ot this
state, so favorable its geography, so
superior the advantages it offers to i'm
migration. and so secure are persons
and property that no amount OF traduc-
ing, growing out OF supposed party eXi-
gencies can stay or materially retard Its
| growth.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
NOT THAT KIND.

New York World An esteemed
western contemporary observes that
Senator Bayard possesses the dIShihed,
somewhat cold blooded manners Which
New Workers as rule admire Our
esteemed contemporary we inier to IN
innate that Senator Bayard has not the
elements of popularity ascribed TO Ia
mented western republican statesman
by casual but enthusiastic acquain-
tance, who admiringly observed ot HIM
"Sociablest fellery y ever see. 'jes' put
his feet on my lap and 'eNpectorated,
as them eastern fellers say, over my
head, and talk free and square.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
KNITTING The SCARF.

A sly little maiden sits by me tonight,
Softly hummlng an old tune low;
The bright threads flash through her fingers white
As she guided the needle to anu fro.
Sweet Is the song that the maiden singrtf,
Sad to nv heart the thoughts 1t bringeth-
Dreams that were buried 50 long ago
Under the snow-under the snow.
Little the maiden knOweth of this,
Weaving the bright threads in the while;
Her thoughts are weaving a dream of bliss.
And the red lips part in sweet half-smile;
AS her happiness in with each stitch she twinetf
And the light in the luminous eyes that shineth
Under the lids growing tender and DIM,
Thinking of him-thinking of him.
Thus the needle beareth double thread,
As daintlly in and out 1t plies,
! And the conscious food IN her cheeks grows red
| Meath the smile OF my steady eyes.
Shake down the cloud ofthy brown hairs glory
| Lest thy bushes should tell the story
That was old when Eden skies We're blue,
| Yet ever is new-ever is new.
So blushlng rs shyly the maiden sings.
| Knitting the scarf for her absent lover;
| And meihlnks two angels with golden wings
| Softly round the maiden hover.
Heaven grant that the hopes thou art weaving
Leave no room in thy heart for grieving;
:Angels keep thee, - softly pray,
Turning away-turning away.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
STATE GRANGE.

The executive committee of the Mis-
souri, state grange is composed OF hve
members: John Walker, of Howard
chairman; Ira S. Hazeltine. of Greene
r. @. Roache, of Monlteau; Henry Esh'
baugh, OF Jefferson; A. M. Coffee, Of
Johnson
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
BOYS SPEECH.

To the little boys who say the following
two lines for a speech at school we COM
mend the four which succeed them:
Look up there and see that nv,
Look down there and see him die2
s.sce that dog as he trots alone,
Along the busy street;
Before another week is gone
He may be sausage meat
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
BABY MINE.

I've n letter from thy sire,
Baby mine, baby mine.
He is sailing o'er the sea.
He Is coming back to me.
He is coming back to me,
Baby mine, baby mine,
He is coming back to me,
Baby mine.
Oh, long to see his face,
Baby mine, baby mine.
In his old accustomed place.
Baby mine;
Like the rose of May in bloom,
Like a star amid the gloom;
Like the sunshine In the room,
Baby mine, baby mine.
Like the sunshine in the room,
Baby mine.
Pm so glad / cannot sleep,
Baby mine, baby mine,
Pm SO happy / could weep,
Baby mine;
He is sailing o'er the sea,
He is coming back to me,
He is coming back to thee,
Baby mine, baby mine,
He Is coming back to thee,
Baby mine.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
HOLLOW.
BY THE HOLLOW MIsANTHRoPE.

BY THE HOLLOW MIsANTHRoPK.
l stood beneath hollow tree
The blast 1t hollow blew
1 thought upon the hollow world,
And all its hollow crew;
Ambition and Its hollow schemes,
The hollow hopes we follow,
Imugination's hollow dreams,
All hollow. hollow, hollow!
A crown is but hollow thing,
And hollow heads oft wear 1t;
The hollow title of king,
What hollow hearts oft bear It
No hollow wiles or honeyed smiles
OF ladies fair follow;
For beauty sweet but hides deceit,
IT'S hollow, hollow, hollow!
The hollow leader oft hetrays
The hollow dupes who heed him;
The hollow critic vends his praise
To hollow fools who iced him;
The hollow friend who swears by thee.
Where plenty is will follow
But all l've found like this old tree,
Are hollow, hollow, hollow
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22

IVY B. ROBERTS, Saddler and Harness
w Maker, Keeps on hand full supply OF
Harness, Saddles, Brides, &C.; also, prepared
to do all kinds OF work to order Rcpilflns
neatly done; and am fully prepared TO supply
every demand in my line on short notice, anu
at lowest DrIces. nCeo-yl
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
HUNTS REMEDY is prepared EXPRESSLY.
for the Diseases OF
HUNTS 81: $;:;
sBright's Disease oi
1.-The Kidneys and In
REMEDY :: :::: ); :::
for Pamphlet to "M, .1a,an SnM p
COIN nv ALL DRUGGISTS.
HICCINSV!LLE.

E. ASBURY, Banker, does general
IA. banking business. Special atte.tion paiu
To- collections throughout the county, anu the
". ,,n,ant IF t,xes mchl vi
,,ES o. *. BURNEs, Millinery and Dress
Nl making. Full line of the latest Styles ol
MIllinery Goods and Neckwear Best OF
material used, and satisfaction guarantee:
- Agent for The singer and American Sewing
Machines. ncul --
Wv SMITH. dealer in Lumber and Building
(T. Material, Is prepared to furnish Lumber oi
ali kinds as cheap ran be had Of any hrin IN
the county. Any Information gladly sNeh Wieh
applied for -- ..lS-i-
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
ATTORNEYS.
HAIRLESS E. STONE,
WILLIAM YOUNG.
m a. HlCKLIN,
A. =. ALEXANDER,

rToRNEY AT LAW. win practice donnt,as in the
AiiI siSo sttend promptly to the collection OF
AIMS and to Investigation Of titles f TO Wa Teai
.tate once over the Banking House OF TM'
Morrison a Co.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
BURDEN. JNo; E: suHphS;; p,hi;;c
uuRDEN e. SON,

. rroRNEYs CoUNsELLoRs ATLAW'
A lexington, Mo. Office front room over Z.
A. koyies book store in Kriehn's new 0eaifss i fse
opposite the Courthouse. VIII practticat attantnn
SiVen to the collection of claims and rro9ate l3
huaiupaa LoOI.-
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
''0H MY
bACK!"

not risk your health by using any Oh 'hSHe ~"
r,ons rrcparatIons but try al once HoNl,
PEWEDY winch has stood the test for 80 years
LATE HOME TESTIMONY.
1879 Westminster ST., PRovIDENCs' IL; -
October l3. 1879.
,- ~, oh with M Kidney ana Liver for years.
In January. 1879 grew worse. bloating fear fear
fully ply one ns rhs hfE II as
1T, ,nJ reii,bi. as he had known it to cure
Kidney cyl diseases when all other medicines had
failed. l did so, and in twenty-iour hours i
mnssed four or five gallons of water, the bioat
,,vaS removed and the great relief made me ieel
well man Were it not for HUNTS REMEDY
would not be alive to-day ,Dso~
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
NnY c. WALLACE WIN. b. GA
WALLACE & CHILEs.

A TTORNEYs AND COUNsELLORs AT
a Law. Lexington, Mo. oaice. 5ons nrnos}ts roGm
5she court house. Will practice in the courts OF
Lafayette and surrounding counties, and aiso N
the Supreme court of the state OF missouri, anu nv
he o. g. Circuit and District courts ZOE Tile
western District of Missouri.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
SENATOR BAYARD'S REPLY.

Senator Thomas f. Is yard was
then introduced, and, after the up
roarious applause had ceased, said ::
Mr.. Chairman, ladies and gentle
men, fello ". citizens, friends all-my
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22

TIE wonderful sue
cess OF HUNTS
REMEDY has in
ducetl II great mliny
10 a'ivTii-e th,Ir
worthless preparn-
tinnS foa. the cure CT
Kidney Discusses.
hoping sn sell ,hen'
nnIlS wc!lcstnblIsh-
p,i reputation. DO
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
Terms, So per Year, in Advance
PACIFIC RAILROAD TIME TABLE.

ARRIVE.
Express and Mail from st. Louis, East
Accommodation from St. Louis, East
'"' ''"'A' G. BEN RUSsELL. Agent.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22

yKTILLIAM WlLKENlNG, practical Timer
w keeps on hand aud iOr sale at tile lowest
prices. Full supply of Stoves, Tinware, &c
Mending and Repairing neatly done. Roofing
and Guttering Il specially. Everything IN my
line at bed rock prices. inchS-yl
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-11-22
MEDIC AL.

mn. CARLF f. BUEHNER.
-uysIcJAN AND SURGEON, H,gginsville.
fLafayette county, Missouri. Office in the
E.1so Hst.I may1Sms