The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-03-27
An AMATEUR MESaLERIsT.
VFhak Came or His Experiment. at = Soci-
able fhe - hes- EVszlng.
Chicago Tribune.

At small party up in the western
division, one night last week, highly
comic young man said early in the even |
ing that he had bully idea for having
some fun at the expense of q quiet and
in0fensive guest OF the sex to which we
owe our milkmen and fathers, who was
expected later.
q Tell you what wen do" said he,
bubbling over with mirth as he spoke,
&c l'n mesmerize Jones-make him stand
on his head, snd think he is a tea>kettle,
and so on. It'll be sWful funny. I've
been having q little experience in mes
easy as borrowing So" They alI said it
would be great joke, and too funny,
and so on, and when soon after the un-
suspecting Jones arrived they turned
the conversation as if accidentally upon
mesmeTisIn, and the unsuspecting Jones
said he didn't think there was much in
it.
go, you don't, eh2" said the highly
comic young man, who, for the purpose
OF argument, we shall call Smith
"now, I've been experimenting a little
In these things, and there's q good deal
in it. Now, think could mesmerize
you if you'd let me try"
Oh, dear Mr.. JONES'" cried all the
young ladies with one accord. "please
do let him mesmerize you; it will add
so greatly TO the eclat OF the evening"
and Mr.. Jones consented to be mesmer-
lied if it would afford them any pie asure
Rather to his own surprise and greatly
to every one else's, after a few passes
Mr.. Smith saw his victim pass into the
magnetic slumber, and then the fun be-
gan. The unfortunate Jones was made
to believe he was a terrier backed to kill
one hundred rats IN ten minutes, and so
to engage in a fearful combat with his
teeth with pile of OttOmans and sofa
cushions; and then was turned into a
| locomotive engine, and went up and
| down the room blowing off steam and
footing danger-signals and then became
convinced that he was q sensational
| lecturer, and split his coat clear up the
back while trying to illustrate the op-
pTessive calm that broods upon the
Dead sea and compelled to recite poetry
/ and play the flute on a ruler, and per-
form many other interesting and IN
usual teat5 to the immense delectation
OF the audience, 50 that every one laughed
till his or her sides were sore, and one
tender-hearted damsel remarked that it
was a shame. Finally, they lett the unA
fortunate young man possessed of the
hallucinatiOu that he was a tom cat,
keeping patient watch over the register,
! from which he expected mouse to issue,
while they discussed what to make him
do next.
guess we've had about fun enough
out OF the poor cuss," said Smith, mag>
unanimously "'Spose l take him out OF
his magnetic slumber?" So he called
g Puss Pussp and Jones came obedi-
emily to him on all fours, and rubbed
against Smiths legs and purred content
eddy.
Now" said Smith, "observe that I
will make a few passes in the reverse
way, and thus release him from the con-
trolling influence of my mind and dispel
the magnetic slumber in which he has
been the unconscious agent to minister
to our mirth and amusement"
So he made few passes, but Jones did
not come out OF his trance; on the con-
trary, he glaTed wildly around the room,
and ran his fingers through his hair,
ard, tearing of his coat, howled, ''.Chim
Chinese must go, and if the lying, lech-
erous parasites and bloodsuckers of the
Associated Press dissipste any more of
their shiny, cOnvulsiVe, and heIlishly
malignant lies -"
Why, be thinks he is Dennis Kear-
me- u exclaimed every one, and they
looked in surprise at Smith, who, how
ever, retained his presence of mind, and,
though badly surprised, said: You
see stimulated bis bumps of eloquence
and causation, as l may say now, how
ever, l viii dismagnetize him for good. !"
50 he made a lew more passes, and Jones
set off walking at breakneck pace down
the room, yelling, " This is the 2,697th
quarter-bet bonanza mine to banana
I win"
Smith looked somewhat more serious,
and every body said, =" Why, how singu-
lar and some of the guests remarked.
3 Smith, why don't you take him out q
the magnetic slumber at once? He'll
upset the furniture"
1 WILL" said Smith, and made sew.
eral more assorted passes, finally seizinQ
Jones, and shaking him violently, with
the exclamation, {" Hill therei I say,
you know times up! Wake upl Be
yourselfI Come out of this trance!'
Jones gszed at him pleasantly for an
instant, then a rapturous smile broke out
upon his countenance, and, crying,
Hence, Achmet, draw thy scimitar and
keep faithful watch at the outer gate OF
the seraglio-the garden of delights
while the sultan, the magnificent, the
lord of the earth, rejoices his heart in
the smilss of his Odslisqnes )" before
they had any idea of his intention he
Rugged and kissed every woman in the
room, calling them all " Fatima"
Perhaps he's going mad, said some.
body, and the lady of the house. sturning
pale, exclaimed, fMr. Smith, 1 insist
that you restore that unhappy young
man to his senses this very moment"
Great heavens said Smith, who
had burst into q DrOfIlse persDiratiOn
that's what am trying to do as hard
as can, but he won't come out of his
trance. I must have forgotten some
thing about the process"
Well, try and remember it then, D.
d. o." said the lady, cor he may be a
ravine maniac, and his good blood-and
ours, which is worse and more to the
purpOse-will be upon your head"
Here Jones took up q tumbler of lem
onade with much solemnity, and, advanc-
ing across the room with majestic step,
halted before Smith and exclaimed ::
" Saul, son of Kish, /, the Prophet
Samuel, d. D., anoinJ thee king over the
people of Israel" poured the refreshing
beverage upon Smiths head then vel
ling 1" Hurry up another wheel<barrowful
of them bricks - he jerked Smiths leg
from under him, and, Selling him by the
feet ran with him on his nose across the
room, like a barrow, and jammed his
head against the opposite wall; then,
DIR Ipping the unlucky amateur mes
merist, he advanced with q stealthy
step, snd Kissed in blood. curdling tone,
Give me the dagger, and will these
brawny hands of mine incsTnadine in
the villains hearts blood; send him
down, down, down to the deepest depths
| nj aoS-,