Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1879-12-13
"a COURSE OF PINCH.o

Basil Larned had just aired his skep-
ticism, and, fatigued with his own
elOouence, had thrown himself at full
length on the library lounge, and was
now earessing his handsome mustache
with an air of having settled the affairs
of the universe to his entire satisfaction
His companion, an old gentleman OF
seventy. who had listened in silent aston
ishment to his grandsOn's language
finally opened his mouth and remarked
very slowly, but with unusual expires.
sion:
Basil, you're an ASST
The -yoIng man thus scathingly apOS-
trophiSed turned his head and laughing
ly surveyed his elderly relative.
"That is just what you are" the old
gentleman continued, "and there is but
one thing can think of that might pos
sibly put an end to your braying and
turn you out man: and that is course
"A course of what sir?" inquired his
grandson, with as much appearance OF
surprise as his lazy attitude would admit
of.
"a course of pinch" replied Mr.. Larned.
"YOu have had your courses OF mathe-
matics, and rhetoric, and logic, and
French, and German, and goodness
knows what not, and yet you are as I'M
satisfactory dog as ever disgraced the
name of Larned. Now / think If you
could have good course of pinch you
might get to be something decent.
"YOu mean by that, sir" said Basil,
still laughing, "that it would be good
thing for me if / could suddenly be made
DOOR, and have to sweep floors or black
boots for the rest of my education. Is
that it, grandfather"
IF you had to wear shabby clothes, my
bow" the old gentleman said, "and
couldn't afford to buy postage stamps to
send letters to half the girls in creation,
and had no chink to pay for bOquets and
trumpery presents, and no time to make
a splurge over what you are pleased to
call your skepticism"- now grand
fathers nose was elevated to an unusual
angle-"I do really think there might be
a chance for you. Now you study just
enough to keep your place in your classes
at college, and not enough to do you any
good when you leave it. presume you
have the reputation of being good fell
low. Basil, but | consider you the biggest
simpletOn of my acquaintance"
Basips laugh was one of genuine
amusement. 1t was very funny to hear
the old gentleman discourse of the fol-
lies of yOuth-fOrgetting all his own, of
counsel And Basil wondered, as he laugh
ed, what particular kind of sprouts" his
grandfather had once taken course"
Of.
"Anybody would think, grandfather"
he said, "that you were model young
man. don't suppose that you ever
wrote letters to young ladies. Oh. no
certainly nOt!'
A flash of annoyance Overspread the
old mans face, as he replied: 81 never
wrote but one letter to a girl in my life,
and that was the document in which
asked your grandmother to be my wife;
and never made any young lady pres
emit till Iigave your grandmother the ring
which told of our engagement. Another
bit of stupidity and cOnceit was never
guilty of, either, my boy. and that was
to endeavOr to put premium on my In
tellectual sstOck by talking about my
skepticism in relation to spiritual affalrs
If / had had any l assure you L should
not have been proud OF 1t. You have read
a few scientific books, and have learned
to ring the charges on protOplasm, and
no more to you than to me. A course of
pinch would squeeze that nonsense out of
YOU, my boy. Another thing, Basil. In
nv time the parents who allowed their
daughters to receive presents from gen.
tlemen they were not engaged to would
have been very severely, and think
Justly, criticised. Your father allowed
me to look at your list of expenditures
the other day, and the tOrquOises, pearls,
lOckets, chains, recticules, bracelets,
rings, ETC., ETC., ETC., furnish formidable
array of proof against the matrOns of the
country, whatever may be said OF the lack
of discretion and wOmanliness of the
daughters"
well, declare grandfather" said
Basil, rising, evidently more astOnished
than he had been for long time, you
haven't left me leg to stand on. Ii
have any good points wish you would
mention one or more, that l may not
leave you without carrying away some
character with me-"
slave no fears" said his grandfather,
with smile. "YOur cOnceit will COM
fort you my boy. The fact is, your good
points are so emphasized by your self
esteem that there is no need for me to
spend time enumerating them"
The very next day Basil went back to
college. For an hour or two after leav-
ing his grandfather he didn't feel quite
at ease with himself. His amour prOpre
had been wounded, but the hurt soon
nassed off, and Basil could almost laugh
at the remembrance of the old fOgy's
sermon. When he unpacked his trunk
the first glance at cameo set, bought
at Tiffany's for the young lady VINO mad
beaten at rowing match, and thirty
dollar fan for another young lady whom
he had allowed to philOpene him, with
various other trinkets for possible emer-
gencies, did not produce in our young
hero the usual feeling OF satisfaction.
For a moment he realized that such TIL
fies as these, combined with certain high
toned and Epicurian designations, made
ND the sum total of his earthly desires.
For his studies as studies he cared little
or nothing. For his studies as giving
him place among the cultured and re-
fined he cared a great deal. Basil Larned
was generous to prOdigality, and good
natured to the verge of prOhigacy, and
as thoughtless in regard to any Occupa-
ton or usefulness in the future as the
professional tramp as to what partlc-
ular hay-lOft shall have the 5hOnOr GOT
COUGHING his lazy body when night
comes on. A course of pinch, ii 1t were
to come right away might save him; but
it is only in novels that fathers lose their