The Holt County sentinel., 1879-07-18
4 Ahorse-race-CUits.

]
I his off eye.
! 4 horse -race-CUits.
Adeceiving agc-Sausagc.
Playing bawl Fcigning TO cry.
4 bnrbcr'sapprenticc is an understrap-
/ per.
A firm oundation-Establishing a
partnership.
A good motto for n man Just starting
| 4 moustachc-Down in front.
When the contribution box comes
round, nodding assent won't do. -
"I'm getting fat, as the tramp said
when he WAS caught stealing lard.
"Six into four, you can't" rs the shoe
maker mildly suggested TO lady custo-
mcr.
| Why should not ducks be allowed on
doctors premises? Because they make
such personal remarks.
John Rest and Mary Jane " cary were
married the other day. There is Rest
for the Weary" sure enough.
Burlington says: "Iowa half a Million
Cleveland cxclaims: "Ohio several mil
lions. They Maine ever pay. =
"Alcohol will clean silver" Yes, alco.
hol, well stuck TO, will clean all the silver
you have-out of your pocket.
Il sot me down in thought profound
| this maxim wise ! drew: its easier fur to
pay a man than make 4 man pay w.
al think our church will last good
many years yet" said 4 waggisl deacon
| to his minister: Il see the slceDcrs arc
very sound"
The Begun or Dhopal is pronounced
one of the clcvercst women i'll India.
The Chewgum of Vassar is the smartest
| girl in New York,
When usefulness is considered, tho
man who smokes cigarettes dwindles in
| to insigniiicance by the side of the indi-
vidual who smokes hams.
When his cousin, Charlotte Dunno, was
married, Jones said: "It was Dunno be-
fore it was begun, Dunno while it was
doing. and it was not Dunno when it vas
! lone"
A divine passing fashionable church,
on which q spire was being erected, was
asked how much higher it was to be.
"Not much; that congregation don't own
very far in that direction"
Paris, it is said, has just awoke to the
virtues of "a new kind of tea" called
Serkys tea. 1t preserves the brilliancy
and beauty of youth up TO the ripest age.
Serkys tea, however, is not so good for
men as circus lemonade.
doctor, my daughter seems to be GO
ing blind, and she's Just getting ready
for her wedding, tool o, dear me, what
is to be dOne?" "Let her go on with her
wedding, madam, by all means. If any
thing can open her eyes, marriage will.
A member of fashionable congrega-
ton called Mt n music store and inquired,
"IIave You the notes of piece called
The Song of Solomon 'P' adding: "Our
pastor referred 10 it yesterday morning
rs an exquisite gem, and my wife would
like TO learn to play it." '-N
After The previous question had been
called, and the ayes and noes ordered in
the Texas Legislature, a member arose
and said:
"AIy friends, beg that for moment
you will lend me your ears, and -"
"Orderr cried the Speaker. mo one
can lend his ears here till the ayes and
noes have been taken"
An. oil Scotch preacher once an
nounced his theme in the following Ian
guagc:
Me brethren, l tax rs me text to-
night. ''The divil he goeth aboot lex u
roorin' leon, aw' seokin' whoam he may
deyoor." / shall divide me subject into
four heads, namely: Why the divil he
goeth aboot; why the divil he goeth
abOot lex 4 leon; who the divil lie is
aw' seekin' TO devoor, and what the div
il he is roorin' aboot.
As the sun does not wait for PRAYERS
and mcantations that he may rise, but
shines ut once, and is greeted by all, so
neither wait for applause and shouts
and eulogies that thou mayest do well; (;
but be Il spontaneous benefactOr, and
thou shalt be beloved like the sun.
Crow w-KNowLEDGY.-A naturalist SAYS
he has discovered that crows, when in
hocks, have regularly organized courts,
in which they sit around and try Offend
ers-a sort of cro-bar, so to speak. They
often meet in caw-cus too. In the spring
it is not unusual to see 4 cro-cus. =
Said Buddha Sakya: If man foolish
ly does me wrong, | will return to him
the protection OF my ungrudging loye.,
The more evil comes from him, the
more good shall go from me; the fra-
GRANGE Of those good actions abiding
with me, and the harm of the slandcrci's
words abiding with linn.
You can secure the endeavor, the
courage and the aspiration of a family
of children by no means so effectually
as by The power of love. Fear never
made the childish nature good. March
winds never made the buds blossom-
A l. ,..NA F,Il -,
severity, but the mothers love, that
makes the child repent.
Habitual poor health is n direct result
of habitual poor attention to tine physical
system. Keep the head cool, the feet
warm, and the bowels regular by the
proper use of Dr. Bulls Baltimore Pills,
and sickness cannot approach you. Price
% cents.
All, reader, we pity you. We have
been there o,and learned that Browns
Liver Pills do cure the headache and
liver complaint, and that no family is
safe this hot weather without Browns
Extract Blackberry and Ginger.
Is there not some reason for this sharp
saying of very able German writer:
an continuous thinking, progressing
pause or digression, the ancients,
taken as a whole, were stronger than we
are; their orators prove this; the weak
ly constitution of our modern oratOry-
which we seek in vain to clothe in bearI-
tiful drupery-arises principally from
our faint heartedness in constant and Sc
we're thinking.