davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03
Sons National Hisiefy.
Tie Editor.

zHe EditOr.
"What ferocious looking animal is
this -
"Tha, Ia an editor"
"lndeed +! Arc they very danger.
ous p
"Sometmcs. When cornered up
they have been known 10 be quite
mbative, aud again they have been
known to go through "a convenient
back window. Generally they are
mild and pas,ivc'
when are they the most DANGER
os. :"
"When intru1sd upon ~ a book
agcut who wants forty line local
Tor seventy Ave cont book, or by a
poet with rc,scs about gentle spring. b"
Are editor. crJss ut each other 7"
"Only when separated by several
blocks uf bindings"
do ,hby often have fearful COM
bats with each other ?"
professionally when they 20 out in
opposi @ directions. anl come Up)n
each other by accident"
Are editors ever cowhidsi ?"
Sometimes the small on.s are,
but tho tig oass ars very rarly rnelos
'cd.r
"DJ editors e,t ?"
"fhcy do. 1t was form ,rly srp.
p, Il that they ate only at long iu-
tcrvals, au,l upon riro occa>ib bnS, but
it is now well authenticated that they
cat great deal whcu they cin got it,
What kind of food 90 they isc
most ~
"rhey are not very par,icular,
While thcy won't refuse qua. ol,
toast. fried crabs. or roast turkey
about Christmas time, they have been
known to make a hearty repast oil
/, dish of cold 'urnips and Con-
sumptive herring"
Can they eat concert tickets =
I'VE believe not. Some people
huve camel this erroneous iuprrs
sior, iron false teaching IN cary lic
but II, authcn icated instance OF such
u thing is on record.
"Do editors go free into shows ?"
"Tdey d. w,en they .ivea i olsr
and halt lIcll Tor twenty-five cen ,
nckyt"
Are all editors bald, ike thi,
Dnc."
mo only the married ones arr
bild. But lot us pass on ; The editor
does not like to he Stared AT.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03
A Slow Train.

Wrare frequently Indebted 10 on.
friend Colonel Yard, of the Mon
mouth democrat, for anecdotes
illustrative of the character of the
peculiar people who live in New Jcr-
sey. He sends us This;
The Hol. G. l---tolls good
st lry Of slow railroadin the north
ern ptrt Of the State. He says he
went there cunning. and came 70 II
short line of road Uu which was ran
a single, train tho forward eul OF
which was partitloned of for bag
gage. lie tool, his dog in tho ear
with him and put him under the seat.
Presently the conductor came along,
aud ins ted that the dog shonld 20
intothe baggaS Dom. which, after
somo alteration, was done but here
the baggage master dsdmarae fee OF
rifty cents, which was den .ced as
a "swiudler,r n "pl,.up Job" he
tw the conlrctDr and the bag
gag master, d 500 er than pay
it he would tic o dog to the tram
aud let bi.l "work ; passage,
The 1nduc or assented, and the
dog WAS hitcbed the to rear OF train
The dog. so TT ;, kept along
easily Nth tie tIai bat tho con
dnctor bo.rn tH get uneasy, ms Ing
frequent trips TO the engineer, urg-
j. z him to incre Sc tho speed OF the
train, aud back again t. watch the
effect upon the dog. The latter be-
gan TO show signs Of fatigue, but
after q while caught his "second
wind, and was keeping alonF ns
before. The conductor now ordered
the engineer to boave all the coal IN
tho furnace aud stir up the fire,
which being done the speei per-
ptibly increased The conductor
again went to the rear To observe
the effect, but the dog had disap-
peared, wherenpon he tiinmrhanily
called 7 - attention To the
fact Tho latte, after taking n
glance at tho situation. quietly
pointed to a crack In the floor of the
ear, "and there" says he, was the
dog, comfortably trn,,iug along m
der the car, and ticking tie grease
from one of,he oe'e Jores !-Hor
per's Wdga=iae.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03
Danger in a Seal skin Sacqie.

II was n fearfnlly battered up citi
zoness that walked into Police Head
quarters the other day aud demand.
ed a warrant.
"Certainly,' said the y. A.. pick.
ing up blank. "What IL The
scoundrcls neme, mad nne :"
ut @asnt a man ; 1t was TINT ng-
ly. spitofui husey Mrs. McGuif.y
II have her beart's blood T.
"You don't mean TO say that il
was a woman who battered you up
in that fearful mauuer7'
Iil tell you al! about il. You
see the Disgusting creature lives
uext to mo. Aud this morning
was just polishing mp our cake bas-
ket real silver. Yer Honor when
what should | see going past the
window bot Mrs McG uncv. etartinr
ont for walk IN sea; skin sack j.
Yes madam. but tt"
The idea of her in seal skin
whc she can hardly pay her reut
jrst ran to the window to see if il,
Was n soa! skin or not, aud | lean
20 / To look -"
"l insist. my good worau--'
And l lcarred-and learned -
Il the first thing lknow | fell clean
ont on my head
And that's what injured you ir
/ { lis manner ?"
Exactly, sir Now | want to gel
her arrested and mt her To ,nil for
ten years, If you can fix it that way
Seal skin sack, indeed
But q. official henrtlessly refused
to interfere, anI the female wreck
walked off, cousolng herself with
tho reflection that it was wash day
and that, at aii events. she could cnt
all the clothes.llne tied to her back
fence AMI let down tue McGufley
, liuen into tho dirt
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03
OesolatIOn OF Palestine.

In Palestine you arc nearly ne
much in the willetness as in Arabia;
rs to inhabitants, they are precisely
the things which do not exist. for all
you can tell, except in the towns aud
villages you pass through. iou can
ride Oh day after day, and you rise
over each hill aud sink into each val,
ley. and except an occasional solitary
traveller with his servant aud his
muleteer, or II rurSish officer with
his party, rarely docs moving OBJ
Ject appear upon the landscape.
No cattle are on tho land, aud ~
p sengers on tho highways. The
loneliness strikes you more like that
Of the desert, for IL seems unnatural,
because here there should be life.
and there ia nOue. Sometimes Won
may make ont at u distance on the
hillside single figure, II man on \
dunkey. 1t is the only moving
thing yOu can detect nll around
From JeruSalem to Boyrout YOU can
scarcely light ou Que siuglo scene Of
rural ininstiy- not one single scene
of HE that can be compared with
those on tho Arab pastures from the
p Of Jabel el Snfr the wells of ol
Mitch. There, in places, the coun
try was full OF people and children,
and focks aud herbs ia rejoicing
picture Of pastoral existence III all
It's health; while here, in the cpun-
tly of tIl!age, aud towns, and villas-
es, the whole iand seems to lie ru-
der "A smell.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03
How to Cook a Husband.

The frat thing to be dove is to
catch him. Having done so, the
MODE of cooking him so as to make
u good dish ia as follows Many u
good husband is spoiled in tue cook
/ Some women keep them con
staDtly in hot wa +, while others
freeze them with conjugal GOODNESS
me smother them with hatred and
contention, aud still Others keep
'nem in pickle all their lives. These
women always rye them with
rngre sauce. Now it l. not to be
supposed that hnsbahds will be ten :
der and good if treated this way,
but are, on the con airy, very de-
lieious when managed as follows :
Get large jar, called tile Jar OF
care nj ness, (which all housewives
have on HANDY, pl your husband
in it aud set him near tue fire of
conjngal love let the fire be pretty
b especi lily let IL be clear above
let the beat be constant cover
him over With Affection garnish
. with the spice uf pleasantly ;
aud il you add kis aud other con-
{ tlons let them be accompanied
with sufficient portion Of secrecy,
mixed With prudence aid nodera-
ton.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03
Human luciier Match.

Lighting gas with the finger is a
feat anybody may pc form. Let n
person, in his slippers, walk briskly
over woolen carpe scutlirg bis
feet thereon, or sta d upol q chair
with its legs upon four tumblers ia
insulate ii, and be there rubbed up
aad down o. the body a few times
with mnff, by seo nd ildivid a
and he will 'oht his as by simply
placing his fipger 10 the tube. 1t i
only necessa to take the precaution
not to touch anybody, during the
trial Of the experiment. The stock
Of el ricity acquired by the process
we have described is discharged by
contact with another object. Ole
person must turn on the gas while
tho other ares il.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03
Dimensions Of Heaven.
Some Curious Figures about Para
disc.

Some Curious Figures about Para
disc.
And he measured the city with
thc reed twelve thousand furlons-.
rhe length, aud bre,dih, anI tho
height OF 1t are equal. -Rv. xxi. lG.
Twelve .h,nsand fnrlongs, 1926
0o0 fest. which being cubrd, 59G..
1913, 0SS, OO,0OJ,0)),O09 cnbic feet.
Ealf OF this We will reserve tor the
hrone OF God and the court of hcav-
en-, and half the balance for streets,
lssvin, remainder of l2i.l9S ,272..
900, 900 100000 cubic feet. Divide
this by .096, tho cubical feet in a
room sixteen feet square, and there
will be 3o,32l, l,243,75J, 900 600 rooms.
Wo will now suppose the world sl-
ways did and always will contain 900.
200 900 inhabitants, and that a gen,
eration lasts 33! years, making in all
= GO,0JO,0o0 every century, and
that the worli will stand l00,-
900 years, or 1000 centuries, max =.
ing in all 1870, 900, 600 600 inhab.
itanis. Then suppose there were, e,onc
hundred wsrlds equal to this in
number Of inhabitants and duration
of years, making IL total Of 297 ,0O0.'
600, 100000 persons, and there
would be more than one hundred
rooms sixteen feet square. for each
person
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03
q q { Il ".
Leave The Fort.
NJ A. VAN DYKs.

"Ho,d the Fort for I am coming !"
This has bern the cry too lonss
We m,rst now pat on our arm,r.
And 20 forth 10 mrst the wrong.
L. the feeble snd tho towards.
eiii the valls aad 'e,rthqa ,kes shield,
bui he strong and vslian, soldier
Loves 10 6sht 10 op.u Aell.
Leave the Fort. howe'er securely a
Al, its mighty towers 1e made.
Plants. whose natures crave the sunlight,
CNnuot prosper In the shade
20 the soNi OF noble impulse.
With . firm and manly port.
Boldly marches forth 10 battle
Brother, sister, LrAvE rHg . .oRr!
There are evils past enduri :.
There are victories 10 be z ned
Leave the Fort, howe'er allurius,
There's no siege 10 be sustained.
Let our VA fare be aggressive
Duty, danger. let us court,
Then our lie will be progressive.
Brother, sister, LgAvE ras Fonr!
All along the line Of action
Let this BErrsR wArcuwoRp ring,
Scorning party, creed and faction,
Loyal only TO our King
mo mans man. but Coils and oouutry's,
Honest. and NJ good repett--"
let US walk "as in the daylight"
Brothers, sisters, LEAvE rae FoRr
-Iiter Oced,,
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03
Nigh Priced.

A store was broken open one
night, but strange to say, nothing
was carried of. Tie proprietor was
making his braS Of it, Mt the same
time expressing his surprise at los
ing nothing. "Not at all surprising,
said his nighbor "the robbers light
cd lamp, didn't they T. YES.
was the reply. "Well," Continued
the nsighbor, "thoy found Sou'
goods marked up 50 high that the.
couldn't afford to take them.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03

TUE DTrE EScE.-"What mr e
you qnit the East = said n ma 10
Nevada toa newcomer, Il IT
into trouble by marrying two wiy e.,
was the response ''well, said Ae
uther, III came ont here because !
got INTO trouble by marrying oa'y
one wife, "And l." added a by
stauder, "csme here because l got
intn trouble simply by promising
to marry one
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03

but oven came in a full qaarter Of 4
mile ahead of Southron himself.
"The 2, ey gauly y said the Yam .
kee, as he dismouuted. "i'll take
that thar little purse IL you please.
and tother cool thousand | knew
well enough that your Southern
horses couldn't hold candle to
Sleepy David.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03

Jones (who had been 10 he "club'
until } A.M)-"Mary, wasser pae
keeping hgl!t for me, anyway T.
Mary Because, Henry, you know
that Hbile the lamp holds ont to
hurn, the ,iest sinner may return.
Jones kept better hours for the next
week or two.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03

"Sound.' SAID tho sohvul. master,
"is What you hear. For instance.
you cannot feel sound" "Oh' yes
YOU can, sa,d a smart boy. John
Wilson," retor,ed the pedseogne
how do you make that out 7 Wha'
sound Can yoa feel ?" "a sound
'hrashing." quickly replied the smart
hny. "Corr.c,,' said the school Z.
master. Cane up" Add that snar,
hoy tslt and smar,sd.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03

Queen Victoria, IL is ru mored, has
expressed q strong wish to see Can.
ada. aud tho Prime of wsles is on
couragiug hor IA sisit both that
eohutty aud the Unitsd States.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03

II the characters Of all our yor ng
men stood as high as their shirt coll
lars, the community would present
better aspect tLan il does, ,--Syru-
ease TIMES,
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03

A Frenthmau on baing told that
q young lady had given him the
"mittsn.' said "Ms no compreud
VT YOU Cali him. Xs mitteu d ~
glove mitout the fingers --shs DO
s eel me 10 uitten but her fsder- =
.haA1Af ps-aR iYtye4Netiea = ejx
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03
.CEORGE b, EENFER.
County Surveyor:
Kratzervi.!e, Snyder County Penn a

Surveying anl Convcyaneing promptls
and skilliliiy attended To. \ share CT
he puhli,s patronage solicited.
July 2Ith, -, pi,
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03

II MAY be very hard thing TO be
tried by advorsity., bat how much
harder to b tried By ths County
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03

"bopt call me ulster said an n.
fsctsd lover 10 bic package Of sweet.
ness, "Rivs NE soms sweet souuding,
cheering a..us' And ~ cailed HIN
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03

The Pacific EIpress wcst cll be "GggoG a.
McNey'owna o. =. IN. and tn AtlInti' tx
press east NJ : -S y. ~.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03
THE EsOy,r.
Published every Thursday Evnn;nY
JEREMIAH GROUSE, Prot'e

Terma of Subscription,
TWO DOLLARS PER NNNrM. Par
able Within siS m0ni,rs, or S250ifnct
paid within IN hs year No pnpef de
continued until nl afrearages aro
paid unless a. tiie cpiicn Of the pub.
Usher.
Subscriptions nutaido OF the county
PAYABLE IN AUYAtCR.
nacferscns lifting and usirg paporS
addressed . Others become suhscribor1
and are liable forthe price of,he pnpor
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03

Advertisin0 a Rates.
q, column one year, seo.oeI
D"e.}slf. column, one year, 200
|0nc.fourih column, one year, 1900
One One square no lines)1 insertion 70
every additional insertion, 80
Professional and Business cards Of
not more than B lines, per year, 500
Arditor, Executor, Administrator
and Assignee Notices, $50
rd,oiiai notices per lire, t5|
All advertisements for shorter Pc
rod than one year are payable at the
s;me they are ordered, and il not paid
ihe person ordering them will oe held
responsible for the monev.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03
SLEEPY DAVID.

~ q l q CT II al q /.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-04-03

What ferocious looking animal /,
this -
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-04-21
District Government Affair.

In an opinion of Mr.. Riddle attorney for the
District, arising from g. claim for damages
against the District, caused by lady steppfng
into gas pipe hole In the sidewalk he states
tnat the District will have to recOmpense her
ana look to the gas company for reimbursement
he caNs attention to the fact that the sidewalks
Drlstle with projections of gas pipes in some
places, and suggests that Immediate steps 33e
TAKEN to remove them.
CONTRACT AWARDED.
me contract between the District Commits
sioners and Mr.. B. j. CoyIe. for construction
Oh the new 1ntercepting sewer on New York
avenue, 18TH street, and across the White lot to
Tue Potomac channel, was executed to-day
MI. Coyle giving good and sufficient bonds for
!Is Ialtn1ul performance. He will enter on the
woih at once, commencing at the lower end
work. 'A LID
BUILDING PERMITS
ISSUED Dy the Inspector or Buildngs:-D B.
TIon; construct fourteen three story brick dwell
3ningS 1, DetW cen 18th and 18th st. n w.: Se4 900
4 4y Lynch, repair brick SIS l ST. NV: 500
80 on III A flerson, repair frame 121 NJ ST. Sc
nI,uuo. T. d. EoulS, construct shed 5l9 18th st.
h h.m;, soo A. Bnchly, construct a five-story
o .s store and dwelling Pa. ave-. between 9th
DIicK l4fs Corcoran st; SIS. W. H. Phillips. re-
pair from $40 o st. NV; $40. Louis Schneider.
construct three-story brick dwelling. Mass
ave, between 9th and 10th stS: 81 COO Wm IT
Emory, construct three-story brick dwaIipp
conn. ave. and 18th st, NV: s250l0 Il W
Dunn, construct two two story brick dWellinrs
sen ST. extended; $4,000. Ryan & Earnshaw'
Co1struct tWo-stOry dwelling G, between 10th
and 18th SITS; 5000. ~ ~
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-04-21
SALT RHEUM ON BODY
And Limbs. Obliged to go about on
Clutches. A Wonderful Cure.

Messrs. WEEKS POTTER Geatiemen.-,In Justice
to those who may suffer as have suffered aud as
grateful acknowledgment of the cure have received
from the use Of the CrTICURA REMEDIES, l voluu-
ta,i'y make the following statement: -
have had salt Rheurn on my body and on one
leg in very aggravated form for e,gat years No
kind Of treatment, or medicine or doctors, during
TIL time, did lie any permanent good. My friends
in Maiden and elsewhere know that 1 have been .
great sufferer, and that my condition ut times has
been such IS tn make ne Despair Of ever being aoe
20 find q cure, or even relief. In fact. when be-
Gan the use OF Gu 1ICURA, my limb was % raw and
tender that could not tear my weight on il with
ut the ekin cracking and bieediI e. AMI Obliged
$50 about On crn'ehes. I commenced to use the
CU1h YRS in April and at once realized its bent
fcia; effects - gradually crew the Inflammation
and huMor to the surface and az fast it appeared
healed il. Atttmes lsrge'quantities would come to
the surface, causing burning heat, Inflammation,
swelling ara itching, which. under the constant
Of CpTICURA, would rapidly subside aud heal
Each time these outbreaks grew less and less severe
and finally disappeared leaving m perfectly cured.
used the CU1 lCURA five months and took the Re
SOLVENT most Of the time. which were the only
RENE dies used. / think the RFsoLvENr very
strengthening and purifying medicine TO take in
snCh extreme cases as mine, because the disease s
SO weaker ing to the system.
Very gratefully yours.
MRS. ASA Il. BROWN.
Maiden, MASS, Oct. Is. 1873.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-04-21
AnllaHemenfs. Rc

sNArfONAL THEATER.-The popular Hess
ADoOtt opera comb nation Will be at the Ma
tlonai this week, opening tonight with Mari.
tana." Miss Abbott, Miss Montague, Messrs
Castle, Turner and all the others who became
such faVoriteS here at a two-weeks engagement
earlier In the season, still with the Company
MI. Hess VIII have benefit Friday night. and
should have humber.
FORD's OPERA HOUsE.-To-morrOW evening
for the benefit OF Blanche Chapman, there viii
Ge performed, for the last time in this CITY II.
NJ. ;. Plnafore," by the entire Philadelphia com
papy. mis- announcement should ill the Opera
House. AS the Philadelphia Press happily ey
presses Miss Chapman is not only a good
singer, but frst-class. She understands the
humor OF the play, and knows how to give
expression to it." CIV
THEATER COM1QUE.-An entire change of pro-
grammeat the COmique this week.
FORDs OPERA HOUsE-Mr John r. Gisburne,s
Denent takes place at Ford's next Wednesday
evening. 1t Will doubtless be the great success
that 1t should. The excellent comedy "SWeet-
heats and Wives will be given by the best
talent OF the city. by special request the com
edy viii be followed by the extravagant and
laughable farce, Rough Diamond"
CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH!-A complimentary
testimonial to Mr.. John Tweedale will take
place at this church tomorrow evening Miss
Edith Abel, Mr.. II. A. KOhr, Prof. Bishoff, Prof,
Hay and Prof. Townsend will appear.
LINCOLN HALL.-The Peabody orchestra will,
give matinee and afternoon concert at Lincoln
Hall next Thursday.
ODD FELLOWS HALL.-Tom Thumb. Minnie
warren, Major Newell and other little folks in
avery interesting entertainment, the latter mart
OF this week. See advertisement.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-04-21
The MARYLAND Lynchinx.

correspondence OF the Baltimore Sun from
OF quite number OF those who participated in
the lynchtng are known, and others can be
easily obtained. 1t is believed that the states
upon them to make the investigation as search
Ing as possible. When the coffin was opened
saturday morning the rope, which was still
around the neck OF the ravisher, was cut and
removed by one OF the jurymen, Mr.. Harris. It
was also discovered upon examination that the
little finger OF the left hand had been cut of
memento Of the mend. The preIiminagfy I pro,
ceedings over, the body was Immediately
hauled to the burial ground connected with the
Montevue hospital. about two miles from the
town, and there placed in a grave that had
been prepared by some Of the inmates OF the
Institution. There was no ceremony whatever.
THE VICTIM OF THE OUTRAGE
Mrs. Thomas is delicate woman, 80 years of
age, and the mother Of seven children. Tired
and worn out with her days labors, she went to
bed at night, with her little babe about ten
months old At II o'clock she was awakened
by hand on her throat and voice saying
your money, or your life:" In the dim light
Carroll, and saw that he was brandshing large
brass-handled knife She replied, sI have no
money; spare me-" At this juncture one of the
r en-, N another bed began crying and Car.
ron called out, "Hush up, or will kill you"
turning again to Mrs. Thomas he repeated his
demand for money. Her reply was, .'As am
tho nn' Sana wG ,4h nave no money ana then
dragged her across the bed accomplished his
purpose and left. All through the long night
Inc Wretched woman lay more dead than alive.
When her husband returned next day she told
him the story Of her surerings, and then almost
collapsed from the mental and physical strug-
gle through which she had passed. Since that
Tune she has been in bed, a low fever burning
through her system, and the humiliation which
she has undergone, as she herself says eating
ner very heart out; DR.. VIM II. johnson, the
family ply stefan, does not entertain a very
hopeful view as to her recovery, especially as
sne mas always been predtSpOSed to heart dis
ease: Her husband, who is well known and
much respected in the community, is utterly
broken down under the blow