The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1879-07-18
) 2. E-ssT-----I.- 7. y ~ = =
WHAT, 7, The WITS SAY.


The rooster that will leave his crow half
crowed to gobble worm may not be a mu-
sicai success, but we will bet on him for all
that. .---Bosto,s Transcript.
9;aA Chicago punster asks "Could So
crates the girls 9'' Could Bartholomew
Could shakespear an eel? Could Shylock
bank safeP Could Catiline his trouser-
looms a
Where woman says Mrs. Parting
ton, "has been married with congealing
heart, and one that beats Responding to her
own, she win never want to enter the mari
time state again."
The house flies held their regular annual
convention all over the country the first of
last month, and unanimously resolved to
adopt last years platform without any
changes. -Hasokeye.
How refreshing the saucy. babbling
mountain brook! How alluring the cool
and gushing spring How they make the
mouth water particularly the mouth of
some river.-Boston Adgertsser.
"What the dickens do you call your mule
Ann for?" asked a tourist of Western
teamster. "Wall :" said the interrogated,
I" it's the nigh mule of the par, an took
the name out on the Scripture-An, nigh
ass"
The season is at hand, says the Boston
Courier, when a whole family win carry
their dinner three or four miles into the
woods, and sit down among the bugs and
ants and snakes to eat it. They call it a
picnic.
Teacher-"Can you multiply together
concrete numbers ?" (They appear uncer-
tain). Teacher" What will be the pro-
duct Of forty apples multiplied by six
pounds of beef?' Small boy triumphantly,
"mince pies.''
The ysnng gentleman who spoke so ell
oquently at his commencement on classical
reading will to-day pull out a yellow backed
lights of wild border life.-LouisuiIls
Courier-Journal. a. -..
Two darkies we're vaunting their courage.
"I l isn't feared O. muffin, l isn't" said
one. "Den, Sam, reckon you isn't feared
to lean me adollar?" "No. Julius, isn't
feared to loan you a dollar, but / hate to
part with an ole fren' forebber.''
The Larned woman's glimpse of snake,
quoted from life, by Maj. Inman of the
Chromoscops: Oh ee-ee gracious good
ness oh my snake ! snake! All isn't he
pretty, the nasty, horrihle-oh what love-
ly bright eyes-klll him kill him ou-
ough !"
The English have captured one of the
most bloodthlrsty of the Zulu chiefs. When
paraded before the English commander
and asked how many of his comrades had
fallen in the late engagement, he replied,
=" Divil wan-bad cess to ye." The cheif's
name is McCarty. ty.-Peck's Sun.
-~~AvnAw naval Ia called ga Lady's Fnnr
Wishes" An old bachelor says he hasn't
read to book, but he knows what her four
wishes are "First, new bonnet: second,
a new bonnet; third, a new bonnet: fourth,
q new bonnet" From this one might sup
pose that the old bachelor was married
man.-NoerfstosoB Herald.
A circular advocating summer resort
calls astsntion to numerous cosey seats in
forked trees and elsewhere--some of them
just large enough for two persons" We
defy the production of an attraction that
can go ahead of that. We shall pass the
major part of the summer there,--NsW Ha-
esn Register.
When Benjamin Franklin was an editor
he was in the habit of writing to the young
ladies who sent in poetry, saying in hon.
eyed language that owing to the crowded
state of his columns, etc., but he would
endeavor to circulate their productions in
manuscript. And then he tied the poems
to the tail of his kite for " bobs. - Uncle
Sam.