Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1879-10-28
visionary rival in way that made the

Presently Mr.. Jones babe them lis
ten he heard steps down the road. The
night was dark and they could not see
a rod off But he was right in thinking |
ne heard steps. Some one is coming.
sIt's him, curse him J" muttered Mr..
Jones. Now you lie low aud mind
what I say. Don't come till tell you
to. I dare say shall half kill him, but
you keep off and let me be. I'll take
the consequences if do kill him COM
pletely. Great Jehosaphat! I just yearn
to get my hands on the wretch"
"He's close by now," whispered one
II see him." answered Mr.. Jones in
an awful whisper. "Here. hold my hat.
I'm going for him, and may the Lord
have mercy on his SOUL"
Accordingly Mr.. Jones "went for
him." He made as rush at the tall black
figure coming leifurely up the road He
gave it a punch in tho stomach with
one fist and another in the ribs with the
other first, snorting like wild bull.
He was too excited to talk intelligibly
at first, but on second thought seemed
to think better of it, and turned upon
his assailant.
"Take that, and that, and that" cri-
ed Mr.. Jones, who had got so he could
utter words trifle more coherently at
this time. dealing blows right and left.
run away with my wife, will you?
You old william, I'll teach you to swoop
round the Jones family, trying to break
it up Take that, and that, and-O!
great Jehosapbat ]"
Mr.. Jones's tune suddenly changed i;
the victim Of husbands righteous
wrath had brought his cane to bear up
on his foe, and was doing good work
with the same.
'Smith-Dobson help, help!"
shrieked Jones, as the cane fell upon
his head and shoulders in unmerciful
blows. Murder help"
The officers came to his assistance,
and succeeded in securing the stranger.
"I'd like to know what this means ?''
he demanded. II supposed this neigh
borhood was respectable, but should
think you'd all gone crazy, or else turn
ed highway robbers"
"We'll let you know what it means,
cried Jones. II don't think you'll want
to run away with Samuel Jones wife
again."
"Is that you, Samuel Jones?" asked
the prisoner. Il thought your voice
sounded kind of familiar before, but you
beloved so couldn't make it out. Are
YOU insane or idiotic-or what ?"
"Lord bless me, if you amt Uncle
Joshua ~ said Mr.. Jones, family. He
felt small enough just then to crawl
through knot-hoie. "I'm awful sor.
ry that this has happened, but /
couldn't help it did not know it was
YOU, You see, Amelia's fallen in love
with some fellow, and, came across q
letter this afternoon that she had writ
ten to him, saying she'd meet him here
at 10 o'clock, and got the men to help
me, and we waited for him, and /
thought you were the man ~
"Fallen tn love with another man
; promised to meet him here at 10 o'clock!
Stuff and nonsensev' exclaimed Uncle
; Joshua, Indignantly. "YOu were al
ways the biggest fool! You're crazy !"
"But tell you saw her own let
ter! !" exclaimed Mr.. Jones. II AIM
crazy now, but / shouldn't wonder if
was crazy before long,"
"You've lost all the the sense you
used to have, and that wasn't enough
to brag Of" retorted Uncle Joshua
"Come along to the house, and well
ask Amelia what 1t all MEANS"
Uncle Joshua led the way. with 8
pain in his stomach, caused by Mr..
JOnes's energetic attempt to teach his
supposed rival not to NEEDLE with the
Jones family, and Mr.. Jones followed
in his wake, with sore head and very
black eye.
There was q light in the sitting room
Mrs. Jones was there.
"See here, Amelia" exclaimed Uncle
Joshua, bursting in like thunder storm
"your fool of husband says you've fall
len in love with some one, and that yoU
; wrote him letter saying you'd meet
him at ten o'clock to. night and run
away with him, and he says he's seer
. this letter. Now don't believe wore
of it, but I'd like to have you explain,
if you can"
II never wrote any such thing" de-
clared Mrs. Jones, indignantly.
"You did! !" exclaimed Mr. Jones
TITS no use for you to lie aboutit Anne
. . liza. You've broken my heart, and you
= did write that letter. found it on you
desk, and here it is. 1t begins, "Deal
Edward"
sob, know all about it now !" cried
Mrs. Jones, beginning to laugh. "Oh
dear me! You see, Laura Wade and
agreed to write story, and got mine
half done, and went over to read it tt
her this afternoon, and when I go there
| IOuuu ludt L u lOSI d page VI H. Illus
have left it on my desk. 1t was about {
woman who was going to elope-my
; story was-and she wrote that she would
go with her lover, and then when she
, thought it all over. concluded to stay a
!, home and do her duty. The page thai
was missing was the one that she wrote
i, TO her lover. You found it, and though
I was going to run away? Oh, dear,
never heard of anything so funny! OF
:, dear mel" and Mrs. Jones laughed I'M
: til the tears ran down her cheeks.
5 II can't see anything very funny a
: bout it," said Mr.. Jones, feeling rathe
sheepish. Chow was to know tina
you were writing stories? You've NJ
!, business to spend your time in tina
way"
'iThat's So" growled Uncle Joshua
3 whose stomach began to feel sore ant
. bruised. "You're a fool for writing
: stories, and Jones is fool anyway"
Which was poor consolation for Jones
The story of the whole affair leaked out
{ and he will never hear the last of Mrs
Joness elopement.