The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1879-10-10
THE EDITOR AND HIS FRIENDS.

THE EU1TVR AND HIS EB16NU0s
lOwhin Gazette"
From the Danbury News Mans New Book
The editor sat down to his desk, and
groaned inwardly, while he involun-
tarily clasped his head in his hands.
Then he went at his books to make out
bills for collection. There was an array
of uncanceled figures in the columns
that were most ungrateful to the casual
glance but apples of ashes in the teeth
of him who gave them closer inspec-
ton. This party was out of town; or
that one was to pay next month, or
there was a cOunter-accOunt from so.
and-sO; or what's-his name wouldn't
pay any; and so down one column after
another, until Tom Griggs began to
doubt if he could get bills enough for
the desired amount, saying nothing at
all of what he might collect on them.
And while he was at this labor his mud
pied brain was tossed and cOnvulsed by
the cry of =" copy" and the demands of
visitors, and the queries of Phillips, the
foreman, who never before-sO it seemed
to his half-distracted chief-was so
densely helpless and ignorant as to-day.
That nothing went right became appar-
ent before the day had far gone. Cor
respondents disappointed "sorts" ran
out, one galley was pied, and marvel
Gus stupidity seemed to settle on the
compOsitOrs. 1t seemed to the unhappy
man as if visitors were never half SO nu-
merOus. There was a man who had a
e. nd
bills. He didn't have copy for
the bill, not being used to such
things; but he knew the printer
could write it out in a jiffy. Tom COM
piled. Next there were three women
committee appointed by church So
ciety to get posters for strawberry fes-
tival, and also to get notice in the pa
per. They had the copy for the poster
about enough for a small pamphlet
and seemed to show a determination to
get it all on the bill in the biggest type
in the office. After a prolonged strug-
gle with them, he succeeded in get
ting their consent to reduce the amount
of the matter. A full half-hour was
used up with this party. They were
succeeded by a lank individual Of a dim
religious aspect, and the escorter of a
pOrtmanteau. He dealt in a line of
autographs. Tom hastily but firmly
assured him he did not want to buy, at
the same time cycling him with intense
dislike. The man said he did not want
him to buy any thing, he only wanted
to show him some perfect gems of art.
Tom said he didn't have time to look at
them. The proprietor of the gems as
sured him it would not take moment
to see them, at the same time opening
the pOrtmanteau and taking out clus-
ter of wares. The victim felt like BRAIN
ing him, but hesitated an instant on the
verge of the act, and in that instant he
was lost. The gems were spread out
upon his desk, over the copy, the bills,
and the books, and the author of the
horror was expatiating upon their mer-
its, while his prey stared hopelessly at
the sight. Fortunately, at this juncture,
some one came in to see about an adver
tisement; whereupon the agent, with
great fOrbearance, observed
"My time is not very pressing. Ill
wait until you get through with this gen
tleman."
81 shall have to use this desk, and
must ask you to remove your property"
said Tom, in desperation. 81 do not
want to buy the pictures, and have no
time to-day to look ut Them"
"Perhaps some of your employees
would like to avail themselves of this
opportunity to secure few rare COPIES"
he pleasantly suggested.
Tom shuddered. The time of every
man i'm the Office was precious.
"Copy," said MIR. Phillips.
The editor of the GallOwhill Gazette
felt that his reason was leaving him.
"There is no time to attend to you,"
he savagely protested, glaring at the
agent. "There is not a moment to
spare here all day today
The owner of the gems caught up his
property, and departed, very much at
loss to understand why free and en-
lightened press should be cursed by a
bOorish management.
The half-stunned editor Immediately
after severally entertained the following
parties:
A man with Western paper contain
ing a story of suicide which occurred
several months before, and had been
seen by Mr.. Griggs some forty odd times.
He wanted the paper saved after the
article had been used, and was some
time getting away, owing to numerous
injunctions to this end.
A woman with poem, whom Tom
thought to escape by telling her he would
read it at another time, but ignObly
failed, as the poem was an obituary to
be published that week. In despair, he
promised to print it, without more than
aglance over its twelve verses. She said
she would want five copies of the paper;
and that, she supposed, would be COM
pensation enough.
A man with i four-column newspaper
article on the phenomenon of atmos-
pherical influences on the Arizona cac-
tus. He pronounced it the clearest and
most logical exposition of this subject he
had seen, and was very anxious to have
it appear next day. Almost bereft of
breath by this suggestion, Tom told him
Al Al Il L. e