The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-06-10

empty freight train a little more than
ten miles long.
Some say that the quickest way TO
destroy weeds is to marrya widow.
II is, no doubt, most agreeable spe-
cics ofhusbandry.
For "irs poor mule that wont
work both ways" in yesterdays issue
please read, "it's Il poor mule" etc
explains on exchange.
One Of the satldcst and most vcxa-
tious trials that come to Il girl when
che marries is that she has to discharc
her mother and depend upon servant
girl.
Young ladies who wish to have
small mouths arc advised to repeat
This at frequent intervals during the
day: "Fanny Finch fried five founder
ing frcgS for Francis Fowler"
Miss Clairmount, the last of
Byron's loves and victims, died in
FloronoU tho other day. She was the
mother Of "lttlc Allcgra," and pre-
ccdcd the Guidcioli in the poets ailtc-
tions. '.." : '':.-
The offer Of a "rickcl plated re-
yolver' as a premium to subscribers to
The Ch"rch Union, published in New
York, ought to start Il very hopeful lr-
vival in TcXas.-Eunsus Cuy Times.
They do say that in September the
Princess Louise will-we mean that
the Marquis of Lornc' ST that is to say,
the queen will aGai,--coDtound it., we
90 not precisely know how to put it ;
yet such is the case.
Now the boy climbs up tho trees.
Ana thr Vcrdant fruit doth seize.
Ana immediately the poison in his stomach
And so sE,dns ao ne idgets and the epics and the
"A tiny spider dropped from the
ceiling into II, sleeping, church mcm-
bcr's mouth recently. 1t. went down
into the mammoth caverl and pulled
lis web in aftor it. Another warming
against sleeping in church.
On recent wedding occasion VIC
heard young bachelor, while carry
ing some sugar plums around to tho
ladies, offer his kindness ina very.
questionable sentence, punotuatcd as
nc had it: "Will you tako one, sugar
plump"
"A deep well at Stockton, Kansas,
has run dry, and is emitting sulphur
Gus fumes. Mr.. Dappin, firmly bclicv-
ing that the bottom das fallen into hell, ,
maintains position day and night at
the opening, with an aXc at hand,
ready to kill tho devil when hc
cmcrgcs. ..... .a..ra . =.
Says the London IrUth:@ >s'Onc
or The West End tailorS was dcploring
with Il friend the depression OF trade.
depend upon it, he said, when cmi-
nent bankers in Lombard street come
TO me to have their trousers rescatcd,
there must be something worry wrong
i'll the money Market :"
They were out riding. Said
Theodore, "What tree, Angelina.
bears the most precious fruit?" Ange-
Ia"-"Oh! Dory, ! can't tell, unless it
is cherry trcc.' r hcodore looks un-
uttcrably sweetness, as hc gazcs into
Angelina's eyes and says, s'Thc axle
tree, darlingW
-"llow did you come to gct mar-
ried?' asked Il man Of very honclv
friend. "Well, YOU see" he rcplicd,
CATER ! had vainly tried to win sever
al girls that ] wanted, | finally turned
my attention to one who wanted me,
and then it didn't take long to arrange
matters"
when was young man / was
always in q harry TO hold the big end
ofthe log and do all the lifting. Now
that am older seize hold Of the
small end and do all the grUnting.
Wise men make the ,mistakcs and fools
the bl,mders, and this is about all the
difference between thcm.-Josh BiA-
fngs.
"A citizen Of Eureka having occa-
sion TO go home unexpectedly a night
ortwo since, caught Il gentleman ac-
quaintancc in the act Of kissing his
wife. On relating the circumstance to
friend, he was asked if he punished
the guilty couple. and replied: "No,
not exactly; but they must have seen
from the way slammed the door that
[ was not satis1icd!"