St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-08-08
Squibs.

81 am only here for the time, beeing,'
as the bear said when he was stealing
honey.
The black -and-tans begin to come
home from the country and the seaside.
Howell Courier.
Captain Paul Boynton is to be mar
ried. Hereafter he proposes to float
with the tied.-[Danbury News.
Boys who cry because their bread
falls with the buttered side down should
think of other little boys who have no
butter.-[New Orleans Picayune.
The Boston Commercial Bulletin says
there is one field of labor that women
can never enter-collecting bills; for
''wOmen's work is never dun"
We have often wondered how the
word pit-a-pat originated, but when we
call to mind that it rains 220 days in
the year i'll Ireland, it comes very nat
ural to pity Pat.-[Cincinnati Times.
"Pat," said Snogglethorpe, who is
fond of using high hsOunding phraseolo-
gy, to his man-of-all- work, Pm going
to town at 10 o'clock, and shall weed
out the cucumber beds in the interim"
Interim" thought Pat, "that's a
mighty quare name for a garden, any
how J" sis Mr.. SnogglethOrpe at home 2"
forwards. "Yis, SORT; yell find him at
work in his interim, there beyant, SO We
will."-[ [SOmerville Journal.
The most striking thing in dresses
this season is a young lady with GRO
quet mallet.-[ Keokuk Gate City.
There is probably nothing in this
transitOry world that will yield larger
and quicker returns on the amount in
vested, than poking wasp with your
finger to see if he feels we'll Bridge
port Standard.
The dear girl who read thrilling es-
say, GLOW to get along in Life" when
she graduated last summer, is getting
along nObly. She is now the mother of
Observation-Disclosures Chronicle.
A Jersey City congregation has in
vited its pastor to resign because he
lacks magnetism. The wise pastor will
at once see the necessity of concealiug
a pair of galvanic batteries in his boots.
philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
He was disgusted boy. He had ex-
ercised great caution and had finally
succeeded in crawling, unobserved, un-
der the canvas into the tent. And he
found it was not a circus, but a revival
meeting in progress.-[ Boston Post.
In reply to person who asked him
the derivation of the word restaurant"
Bayard Taylor replied jokingly, with a
merry twinkle in his eye, "'Restau-
rant is derived from res, "a thing and
taurus, "a bull'-a bully thng.n-GNew
York Herald.
Appearances Hairdresser-"Tre-
mendiOus led of 'air, sir ! Better let me
cut the 'ole of it hoIf E' Eminent Vio-
lnist-"Why 2" Hairdresser-"Well
you'll excuse my saying so, but it
makes you look like one of them fid-
dler chaps, you know r- -[London
Punch.
Hemp first came into use in the cord
age.-Nea0 York Nel0S. And wind in
struments in the band-age. Sen
tnet. And Arithmetic in the ad-age.-
Salem Sunbeam. And money in the
COMA age Waterloo Observer. And era
dies in the crib-age.- Whitehall Times.
And slaves in the bond -age.-ROme Sen
ttRel. And trees in the fOli-age.-Aba-
ny argus. And the dogs in the saus-
age.-Ref0rnaer.
| L hO w uiGc mOuDUdl0 nOUelS are full
OF Massachusetts schOolma'ams, who
act as walters. When one of them
looks at a guest through her glasses and
asks him if he will have another plate
OF hash in six languages, he is nearly
paralyzed and doesn't recover his appe-
tlte for nearly two days. But her cul-
ture and education doesn't disturb the
equanimity OF country editor. He re-
plies in Sanscript, and she looks en-
qulringly around and fingers her bangs
IN meditative manner. The editor
enjoys her confusion and explains his
answer in Greek Norristown Herald.
The Frenchman who fell overheard
from the steamer on which the Cobdep
club was returning to London after its
recent dinner at Greenwich, and who,
when picked up, politely hoped he chad
hot kept the steamer waitiny,n reminds
the COngregatiOnalist of the old lady
who took Columbus-avenue horse-ca1
on fremont street one day to go to the
/ Providence depot, and who, on being
shown the building, thanked the con-
ductor heartily, adding: 81 hope ]
haven't taken you out of your way.n
J Grandma = eyes children. when
was young as you are, used to walk ir
my Sleep" Tommy eagerly -"Say
gran'ma, what time did you make Pay
r Philadelphia Sunday Item.