Bristol news. [volume] (Bristol, Va. & Tenn.) 1867-189?, 1879-11-04
- 49, 70 . - w.
SUNBE Ms.
Solel agal;~our old shoes.

Solel again-. our old shoes.
La poor land that can't hold lis
Gown,
Legal swasion Hanging. Ddntury
Neus,
Adam was the fcst mnn ever told to
take walk.
a stag Is frequently obliged to run
for deer lie.
It's never TOO late TO nlend-an old
pair Of pants.
Stealing horses Is designated out
West as equine emb' 22lement.
People pick their teeth, and yet
they Do not all get good ones.
Aphorlsm 10y perfect reckless belle:
BE iiirtuous and you will be happy"
Why don't somebody name play
porous Paster?n It'd be sure to
draw.
Because aoap comes in bare Ia no
reason Why II should be n bar to clean
ness
The Indian wears moccasIns and
Rae no cats so he Ia Just IA well oil
without boot.jack as with one.
A Vermont editor claims 10 have
seen rainbow at night. and the tenn
peranco people despair OF him.
When man has nothing hut few
broken teeth In his mouth. can he
properly be styled IA stump speaker?
To matter, remarks the Syracus,
UGrdid. how much a candidate itchet
fOr office, he neyei likes to be scratch
e1.
Twas happy day for the whale
Z when man first hogan TO strike oi
through the rocks.-- A0V Haven Reg
ister.
When an Erie (Pa,) man stop.
drinking, his friends pronounce hin
case Of Erl-Hip.less 49, Houston NGwS
A woman up In Scott county namel
her first hahy "pinafore." Because
probably, she never" had one before
The hoy with The gold witch want
to know what time II IL twlc an oftc,
as the boy with the silver cironome
ter.
Woman continues enigmotlea'
When she gets hot she runs at he
husbands nose, but when she get
cold she runs at her own.
A gentleman who was asked for III
marriage certificate quietly took Of
his hat and pointed to bald spot
The evidence was conclusive.
1t Ia n mean man who would fool
fsh by wearing white choker an
clerical coat when strollIng along til
banks OF brook on Sunday.
Many a woman dusts billiard chal
oil her husbands coat, and big tea
stands In her eye ns che thinks no,
late no works nights ut bis desk l.
tho whltewashed wall
ut isn't the tblnuerr Of the milk
object, said Job Shuttle. IA he pulle
out n small frog from the oreamel
"its the thickness ef the water thp
It's mixed with. - Nac Haren Regi,
ter.
When the girl who has encourage
ayoung man Tor about 40 years aud
denly turns around and tells him I'll
can never be more than sister to hin
he can, for the lrst timo. ace freckl,
on her nose.
Itissald that n minister In q cour
try hirk In scotland stopped In III
course of his sermon TO ask q memh,
who was deaf "Areye hearing, John9
'Oh aye, WAS the response. III al
hearing. but to very little purpose" "
stolen fruits may be the sweetes
but when the small boy nndS himse
up an apple tree with u big dog at II
foot. and he discovers that tho appl,
nra sour, you can't patch up h
wounded feelings with any such taft
az that.
"My bow" said solamn.yisARe
evangelist to boy VINO had jul
emerged from halr.pullng mate
with another boy, lido you expect
rove hereafter Ia land Of pure a
light? MOI said the lad; ~
bursted another button on'n my trou
Ners, aud | expects TO get licked for II.
must tell you of . conversation
overheard at Manhattan Beach h
tween two children who were pluyi
In the sand together. The small b.
sald to the little girl! 40 you wis
10 be my llitls wifeg" The little 81
after rejecting, "Ycs--n The ANA
boy; Then take oil my boots"
40 you voc here where you nj
charged, air, with being drunk All
dlsorderly ?" observed the Rpcorde
holding oul the niildoyit juHt slgnc
ana sworn 10 by the policemen. n
tramp took the affidavit aud read
carefully. upside down. nnd replirt
"Am TO blame2 never wToe IL,
III can warrant his eyes" said Il
holpc dealer, aud Mr. Dartholoms'