The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1879-09-04
TILT WITH A MOSQUITO.
How the Cruel Bird Got the Drop on a
Newspaper Man.
Huntington Hawksys.l

burlington Hawkeye.l
But down at Mus1uash. Last Sunday night
we all went to church down at M usquash, and
heard Mr. Hopper preach, o pleasure that all
Burlington will envy us. Mr. II. was down
there helping the rest OF us enjoy ourselves,
and the Baptists Of Musquash just pressed
him into theirsservlce for one day Well, had
been trout fishing all ths day before, and had
waded down the river few miles, and Satur-
day night / poured IL busbel and q half OF
oats into each Of my boots and all the bright,
the sun and basked, while | lounged
around, loosely shod In slippers,
and extremely happy. went to
church In this evening, and yOu can't Imagine
how easy and comfortable were my sltppersd
feet. thrust them out before me and ad-
mired them. In moment or two musquito
came sailing along, humming the refrain of a
hymn the congregation had Just ceased sing
ing This startled me 81 little but not very
much, because always believed that the St
John mosquitoes could sing IL they would
Well, this fellow sailed on passed me, then he
turned and came back, and observed that he
had rather wicked look In his eyes, although,
/ reasoned, that WAS no more than one might
expect OF musquito that flew around on the
Sabbath Presently, still humming BROAD is
the Road that Leads to Death" the bird made
q few circles and lighted on my sippered foot,
making his landing about an inch above the
slipper
dNow. son" / said, "this is little too much.
! admire cheek, but you fairly gorge nay ad-
miraton. ! am sorry Tor you, because l
know your harmlessness and your stupidity.
But your impudence is more detestable than
your imbecility is touching, and / am COM
PEELED TO mash you
! lifted my other foot to crush him, and
hope / may live u thousand years it that
mnsqulto didn't get the drop on me;
| haven't felt anything like 1T since seven
years ago, when ! tried to mend the family
wsshboiler, and poured tablespoonful Cf
szzing, glowing, bubbiHg solder down inside
my shoe.
shot iookedIdown, and that mosquito had
bis hind legs bent under him, his front legs
stretched out and braced against my foot,
while the venOrnous wretch, holding his
mouth full OF eptderInis and stocking, leaned
back, pulled and without ever breaking his
hold. Just before kicked him be let go and
sailed around behind my head, while he joined
the congregation in singing:
" Brethren. while ws soiourn here.
Flight We must but need not fear"
/ sat in silent, enduring agony, wondering
what manner OF bird the Musquash mosquito
was, when suddenly another one came behind
me. caught me by the heel, and I thought In
my soul it would pull the leg off me before ]
could shake and Kick 1t loose And then it
lodged about my ears swapping at them as it
tion Of feeling, II Would Not Live Away"
was GLAD that 1t felt that way about 1t. It
lived long enough to satisfy me, all the same.
All through the service this inhuman BAN
quet went on The mosquitoes that came
late didn't stand on ceremony, but drew right
up and helped themselves. "Gut q little closer
to the bone," the old ones would say to the
| newcomers, you'll find the meat sWeeter." +"
And closer to the bone it was. ! kept up o
regular tattoo with my feet, until the senior
deacon came over and whispered to me that
the Dominion churches had not adopted the
New York custom OF applauding the good
points in q sermon. Then held my feet off
the floor and kicked them straight out, every
time q new mnsquito got the drop on me and
made q bulfs-eye, until man sitting IN
front Of me turned around and sternly
| assured me that il / didn't quit kicking his
wife and children he'd throw me out OF the
window. ] had wondered several times, in an
| abstracted sort of way, what the children
| were crying for. Once, in my suffering, got
my feet up on the pew and tried to sit on
them, but the maDRuvre seemed to afford the
young ladies In that vicinity SO much amuse-
ment that / had to give 1t up. / got hold OF q
window stick and tried speariDg the mos
quitoes with it, like ees, but 1t attracted too
much attention, and, owing to my nervous
because they had enough, or because 1t was
all gone, or because the service was con-
cluded, the mosquitoes quit, and the last
heard Of them, as they started OIL toward the
other side Of the room to swarm on @ bald
headed man before he could get his hat on,
they were singing with the congregation,
Happy day; Happy day." Musquash is one
OF the pleasantest places In the world, and
think It must import its mosquitoes. / am
now quite content with the st. John variety.
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