Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1879-05-31
LOVE As An INVESTMENT.
Coon HUMoR AS AN ELEMENT or LIFE
RULES FOX CoNJUGAL EXISTENCE.

Chicago Times Report of Bob lngersollS
Lecturc-Published by request.
Love is the only thing that will pay
10 per cent. of interest on the outlay.
Love is the only thing in which the
height of extravaganza is the last degree
of economy. CApplause.] 1t is the on
ly thing, | tell you. Joy is wealth.
Love is the legal tender of the soul
laughter and you need not be rich
to be happy. We have all been raised
on success in this country. Always
been talked with about being successful,
and have never thought ourselves very
rich unless We were the possessors OF
some magnificent mansion, and unless
our names have been between the pu-
trid lips Of mmor we could not be hap.
py. Every little boy is striving to be
this and be that. tell you the happy
man is the successful man. The man
that has won the love of one good wo-
man is a successful man. The man that
has been the emperor of one good heart,
and that heart embrace all his, has been
a success. Applause. If another has
been the emperor of the round world
and has never loved and been loved his
life is failure.
1t won't do. Let us teach our chill
dren the other way, that the happy man
is the successful man, and he who is n
happy man is the one who always tries
to make some one else happy. APP
plause. The man who.
MARRIEs A WOMAN
to make her happy; that marries her as
much for her own sake as for his own
not the man that thinks his wife is bis
property, who thinks that the title 10
her belongs to him-that the woman is
the property of the man wretches who
get mad at their wives and then shoot
them down in the streets because they
think the woman is their property.
loud applause tell you it is not
necessary TO be rich and great aud pow
erful to be happy. A little while ago |
stood by the grave of the old Napoleon
"a magnificent tomb Of gilt and gold,
fit almost for dead deity-and gazed
upon the sarcoplagus of black Egyp-
tian marble, where rest at last the ashes
of the restless man. | leaned over the
balustrade and thought about the career
OF tie greatest soldier of the modern
world. | saw him walking upon the
banks of the Seine contemplating sui
eide. | saw him at Toulon-I saw him
putting down the mob in the streets Of
Paris-I saw him at the head Of the
army at Italy-I saw him crossing the
bridge of Lodi with the tricolor in his
hand-I saw him 10 Egypt in the shad-
ows of the pyramids-I saw him con-
quer the Alps and mingle with the ca
giles of the crags. saw him at Maren-
goat Ulm and Austerlitz / saw him
in Russia where the infantry Of the
snow and the cavalry of the wild blast
scattered bis legions like winters with
cred leaves. | saw him at Leipsic in
defeat and disaster-driyen by million
bsycnets back upoh Paris, clutched like
a wild beast, banished TO Elba. saw
him escape and retake an empire by the
force of his genius / saw him upon
the trightful field of Waterloo, where
chance and fate combined 10 wreck the
fortunes OF their former king. And /
saw him at ST. Helena, with bis hands
crossed behind him, gazing out upon
the sad and solemn sea-
l Thought OF the orphans and widows
he had made--of the tears that bad
been shed for his glory, and of
TIE ONLY WOMAN WHO EVER LOVED HIN,
pushed from his heart by the cold hand
of ambition. Ard / said / would rath-
er have been a French peasant, and
worn wosden shoes. / would rather
have lived in hut with vine growing
over the door, and the grapes growing
purple in the kisses of the autumn sun