The Osceola times., 1879-01-18
BARBER-SHOP ETIQUETTE.
why Men Muit Re Talked TO Death by
BARRIERS.


| vi tlty Derrlck'
"Ah Pm in luck" said Jones, as he
entered the bsrber-shop reading paper ;
"won't have to wait for next and he
tossed his hat into corner and seated
himself for shave.
How is this ?" said the barber, read
ing from a paper that marks its witty
column with blue pencil "by George,
how's this ? Pretty good, | take it, " and
he read
"Did you ever zee pump handle any
thing? Did you ever see witty cism
Who ever saw dog call her." and the
good barber laughed heartily at these
scintilations of wit, and said some of
them fellers are most blamed clever.
Then he turned to the yellow fever
depart tment, and, after reading three or
four dispatches, asked Jones If he thought
the scourge would reach Oil City.
Jones said there was possibility that
it would get here by the middle of
winter, and he would like to be shaved
and fixed up before it arrived.
The barber said it was a terrible thing,
yawned, laid down the paper and shuffled
up to the chair. He arranged the towels
about Jones neck, felt his beard, run his
fingers through his hair, scrutinized
wart on the side of his nose, turned his
chin and asked him If he had his tooth
fixed in the oil regions of New York.
Jones answered as best he could, con-
sidering the barber still kept his lips
hauled down taut.
After examing the dental work on the
tooth, which he unhesitatingly pro.
nounced "good job" the barber let go
of Jones' lip, and went out to throw
stone at a dog that was barking at cat
in the back yard.
When he came back Jones said he
weuld like to be shaved as quickly as
possible, as he was in somewhat of
hurry.
Certainly, certainly" said the bar
Der, and he spread lather over Jones
face and begsn to hunt for razor. AT
ter examining several he began to slap
the strap with one, while he remarked
that fall had probably set in in earnest,
and that the baseball fever was a. bad
as ever, etc. Giving the razor one pull
down over the side of Jones face he
wiped of the blade, laid it down. took
up another, examined its edge and whip
ped the strap with it as before, asking
Jones il he thought business was really
picking up any, and if he thought it
would rain.
Jones moved une easily on the stocks,
and said he was sure there would be a
storm, and he wanted to get shaved and
have his moustache waxed before the
flood came.
The barber grew pale around the
mouth, and his lips quivered. You
said that once before" he remarked
cartly. Don't ssy it again, please, or
ther'll be trouble. Pm a gentleman
when Pm dealing with gentleman, but
know when I'm insulted, sir"
Well confofnded it all, " exclaimed
Jones. very much cut OF patience, |
came here to be shaved, and not TO be
talked to death "
',Oh, yon want to be shaved, do you ?"
exclaimed the barber in rage. " You
don't want to be talked to death, don't
you A barber can't open bis mouth,
can't he? Oh, no, barber is doggoned
machine suppose, and must move about
bis work like woman Indian in front of
a cigar store? All right, all right You
shall.be shaved and have your moustache
waxed so blamed quick that it will make
your head swim
And buckling down TO his work he
shaved Jones in two minutes and halt
by the watch, and cut him seventeen
times by actual count.
Moral, Let q barber talk. 1t is cheaper
than to be kept away from business for
two or three days while you stop bleed
ing.