The Newtown bee., 1879-06-25
The Lightning Rod Dispenser.
A FARM BALLAD.

With hands as white as lilies, and @ face un- common clean. No wrinkle had his vestments, and bis linen glistened white, And his new constructed necktie was an inter- esting sight; Which almost wished his razor had made red that white-skinned throat, And the new-constructed necktie had com posed a hangman's knot, Ere he brought his sleek-trimmed carcass for my women folks to see, And his rip-saw tongue a buzzn' for to gouge gash in me. But 1 couldn't help but like him-as I always think I must, The gold of my own doctrines in a tellow-heap of dust; When l fired my own opinions at this person, round by round, They 1rew an answering volley, of very similar sound; l touched him on religion, and the hopes my heart had known; He said he'd had experiences quite similar of his own. told him of the doubtn's that made dark my early years; He had laid awake till morning with that same old breed of fears. I told him of the rough path hoped to heaven He was on that very ladder, only just round below. I told him of my visions of the sinfulness of gam He had seen the self-same picters, though not quite so clear and plain. Our politics different, and at first he galled and winced But I arg'ed him so able, he was very soon convinced. And twas getting toward the middle of hun- gry summer day; There dinner on the table, and l asked him would he stay? And he sat down among us, everlasting trim and neat And asked short, crisp blessing, almost good
 enough to eat; Then he fired up on the mercies of our Great
 Eternal Friend, And gave the Lord Almighty good, first-class recommends; And for full an hour we listened to the sugar. coated scamp, Talking like blessed angel-eating like a- blasted tramp. My wife, she liked the stranger, smiling on him
 warm and sweet (It always flatters women, when their guests are on the eat), And he hinted that some ladies never lose their early charms, And kissed her latest baby, and received it in his arms. My sons and daughters like him, for he had progressive views, And chewed the quid of fancy, and gave down the latest news; And I couldn't help but like him, as l fear l always must, The gold of my own doctrines, in a fellow
 heap of dust. He was spreading desolation5 through piece ot apple pie, When he paused, and looked upon with tear in his off-eye, And said, " Oh, happy family !-your blessings make m sad You call to mind the dear ones that in happier days had; A wife sweet this one; a babe as bright and tair; A little girl with ringlets, like that one over there. Iworshiped them too blindly my eyes with love were dim God took them to his own heart, and now
 worship Him; But had 1 not neglected the means within my Then they might still be living, and loving me to-day. cone night there came tempest, the thun
 der-peals were dire; The clouds that tramped above us were shoot
 ing bolts of fire; my own house, l, lying, was thinking to my
 blame, How little I had guarded against those shafts
 ot flame, When, crash through root and ceiling the
 deadly lightning cleft, And killed my wife and children, and only l
 was lett. Since that dread time I've wandered, and Hs naught for life have cared, Save to save others loved ones, whose lives
 have yet been spared; Since then, it is my mission, where'er by sow TOW tossed, To sell to virtuous people good lightnlng-rods
 at cost. With sue and strong protection I'll clothe
 your buildings OCT. Twin cost you fifty dollars (perhaps trifie
 mnre); What little else 1t comes to at lowest price (You signing this agreement to pay so much
 per foot)." signed it. while my family all approving And dropped a tear upon it-(but didn't blot
 it outD That very day with wagons came some men
 both great and small; They climbed upon my buildings just as Ii they
 owned 'em all They hacked 'em, and they hewed lem, much
 against my loud desires; They trimmed 'em with their gewgaws, and
 they bound 'em down with wires; They trimmed 'em and they wired lem, and
 they trimmed and wired 'em still, And every precious minute kept drumming uI
 the bill My soft-spoke guest a-seeking, did rave and
 rush and run; He was supping with neighbor, just three
 mile further on. Do you think" I fiercely shouted, "that
 want mile O wire To save each separate hay-cock out O heavens
 consuming fire2 Do you think to keep my buildins safe from
 some uncertain harm, Pm goin to deed you over all the balance O
 my farm ]" He looked up quite astonished, with face de
 void of guile, And he pointed to the contract with reas
 suring smile; It was the first occasion that he disagreed witt