Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-08-16
BROTHER HILARIOUS. THE OR.
GANTST.

Messrs. Brown and JOnes-were
deacons of the Church of England,
who had followed the prevailing
fashion of quarreling with their
bishops on a point of law connected
with Ritualist practices, and had
metaphoricaily gone into the will
z derness TO set up hermitage. They
had shaken the dust of the eStab-
lishment off their shoes, and had
shaken off their shoes at the same
I time as the dust, in order to don
\ sandals. A patch on the summit
of their pates was shaver; they
wore gray baize gowns like Ulster
coats and they celebrated mass; yet
they prOfessed to be still within the
Anglican communion, because it
would have been incOnvenient to
them to submit to the discipline of
the Roman Church. They were
young men who liked to be their
own bishops and pOpes, and to give
themselves out as the only deposit
tories of true faith and ritual. They
had no connection with any other
place of business mean with any
other converts but the two which
they themselves had instituted: one
Their wilderness was a pretty dis
triet near a fashionable seaport town
ON the South coast; and their con-
vents consisted of two picturesque
houses, hired with the money of
Brother AmbrOse-in civil life
Brown, from the uncle of Brother
-AnthOny-in civil life Jones, who
was a building contractor, and
owned land in those parts. The
offerings Of the faithful and the
bowers of divers brothers and sisters
who had Joined the order, had ena-
bled the pious founders to furnish
the two houses suitably, to fit them
up with cells, chapels, ETC.; but the
mOnkery and nuGnery dedicated to
St. Ascetus and his sister st. Asceta
were not quite so prosperous as they
might have been; so that, after
much cOgitation, Brothers Ambrose
and Anthony decided to take out
licenses as brewers of bitter beer.
The Carthusians and Trappists OF
France manufacture respectively
chdrtrellse and trdppistiRs, and the
Benedictines of Fecamp distill a
notable liqueur which bears their
name, so there could be no objection
to these British asceticS making
bitter ale for the good of their con-
tempOraries. a red label, with a
picture i'm blue of a monk holding
up a glass, or chalice, and invoking
a blessing on it, was registered as a
trademark, and Brother AnthOny's
uncle, the building contractor, made
himself useful in issuing advertise
ments and acting as traveller for the
reverend firm. One is happy to say
that the trade Of the good ascetics
soon throve apace; insomuch that
Brothers Ambrose and Anthony
had to divide between them the adj
ministratiOn of their converts.
When persons came to seek spiritual
consolation, they were referred TO
Brother Ambrose; when they came
to buy beer they were requested to
turn to the left and enter the Office
of Brother Anthony. Brother Am
brOse sat in his OratOry with a mis-
sal in his hand, and crucitiX at his
waist; Brother Anthony sat at a
high desk with a ledger before him,
and sample bottles of his beer in
imperial pints, quarts, magnums
and jerObOams and there hung
from his girdle a cOrkScTew. But
both friars wrought on the same
ground to this extent, that when a
customer had paid for his beer,
Brother Anthony would talk to him
about his soul, and hear his confess
sion if he desired it; while Brother
Ambrose, when he had shriVen a
penitent, never failed to slip into
his hand a price-list calling atten-
ton to the exceptionally reasonable
prices of the ascetic beer, which
could be bought on the premises,
or sent neatly packed and carriage
prepaid to any part of the kingdom.
AS for the minor brothers and sis
tiers Of the Order, they all labOred
earnestly in the same cause; for the
men acted as brewers, bottlers, OF
corkers, and the nuns, when not
engaged i'm devotional exercises,
pasted labels on the bottles, did the
backing, and posted circulars to H.
censed Victuallers. Thus by unit
ing their efforts and paying close
attention to the quality of Their
malt and hops, the members of the
fraternity soon got for their beer the
name of very good beverage in
deed, and they became additionally
blessed with the fruits of increase
by strict adherence to the system
of cash payments on delivery.
As their worldly affairs began tC
shine the ascetics grew anxious that
there should be no shortcomings in
their spiritual ministratiOns. They
built new chapel for the common
use of the monks and nuns; in
vested largely in gaudy chasubles,
robes, stoles, ard candlesticks, and
strove by the brilliancy of theil
Sunday and Saints'-day services tC
attract crowds from the fashionable
bathing resort near which they
resided. They were also very sed-
ulOuS about their music and choir,
and were so lucky as to find CAPT
tai tenor and baritone among the
friars; and a very fair soprano and
cOntralto among the nuns. UnfOr-
tunately they had no OTganist, nor
a bass worth the name, and this
dispIeased Brother Ambrose, who
did not like to retain the services OF
his paid Organist. He had found
it a good principle to pay out as lit
tie money as possible from the con-
vent, and to get in all he could.
Had he been able to find an organ
list who would have devoted his
talents to the Order for nothing, he
would have prayed OenedictiOns on
that man, and held out to him a
sure hope of remuneration in "a bet
ter world; but the hireling Organist
was so little touched with the spirit
of grace that he would not even
consent to be requited with bottled
beer, and was mercenary enough to
insist always on cheques payable to
bearer. Every time Brother Am
brose signed one of these documents
he uttered a grOan, saying, "Thls
really must CEASE. 1t does not look
reputable to have salaried servants
One would think the Order of st
Aseetus was pOwerless to attract
men of talent" And it became the
hope of his life that some day pos.
tulant might turn up, endowed with
the musical gifts whereof the Other
friarS, and all the sisters, strange t
say, were deficient.
One day, when Brother Ambrose
happened to be unusually sore al
signing his quarterly cheque, seeing
that the same had been received 10y
the caititf OrganiSt with demand
for "A rise in his wages, he saw