, 1879-07-01

AAo SL4t o&AAkV4 q &AA
They two moandcrad down th9 street
Till they reached the depot;
That her papa would take that train
That youth he did not know.
AIast ho found Il out too sooa,
That festive clark was sent,
From paser's boot, a Ia balloor+
Up toward ths 1rmamtntt
4 young mnn came into TrrE Tribune
etlee tho other day and said ia wanted to be Gu.
gagged IS q comic writer, declaring that on short
notice he could prepare wltt!cisnls which would
mako tesra.cotta dog laugh. Tho editor burst
Into tears and. wEingfnR his hand hard, fald with
agroan, that hs references very satisfactory,
and that after few months of htudy and practice he
had no doubt that the ncophyte would psovo val
uabe member Of tho American Paragraphors' Az
ISOLATION.
''8tudyw said The bndding humorjst, ~
didu't know you had to study to bscoms a comic
.wsiterr
Haven't you, thoughr said the editor; .',hat
shows how ]itslo yoa know Of the grave rcsponat-
bility OF humorist's profession when you would
rasly undertake Its serioue duties without having
~ may nay, become acclinatcd."
''Dnt, sir, what studies sLould learnt" said
tho candidate for deathsesa fans.
You should begin By forming yonr mind by
learning mathematics. especially comic sections,
30 that you can treat oys1r Aub}uct 10 c1asscally
funny manner. Then you should for fow months
dsyoia yourself 10 being Deputy Coro-
neE OF relieving agent or . nurse
In = smallpox hospltal, or in somc
other capacity Of this sort, accnstom yourself to
acenea Of hH1nan misery and suffering. You may
not thlnk that this training fo necessary. Wcll
now. will convince yon that 1t Is. lisre arc
couple oslcllppsnca from tic exchanges, fat man
falls out OF q thsrd-slory window Oh Methodist
mnhtGr with nfnrtN chi1lfNn. and fhA I'M .nuf
Of poor Widows furniture whtfe. har youngest
child was dying OF Starvation Just lake shcse over
10 taat 9ople tefe anu Write somethnx comio about
thsm' would put tue Item about thu widow Into
veEsc' With good lirely chorus, 'Whack, fol lo,'
or something IKE That"
Ihe sntpsaaca ana a'se'stFnck young man took
Tue slips IN silence, and returned In about half an
hour 70 say he had bten trying htn level best but he
woald Do anmmed II he could see tho comicslds Of
tnose incidents.
1aep' ea'd me edl1os, ''toke these Liverpool
market reports aud tho atatoment Of lumber cut In
A'cn'gan aud put them Into brief and ilsuy form,
-poessa', poshlo'e. Az, sou don't think you
can. "el!' tsahs pfoFes my thcosy-what hase
been 1nsIesng upon al the tne-that special edu-
cation Is noeaea for humor1sa, without which It ID
needless for man to engage In tho business,
Good morning. Nhcneset you hava mastered the
Sha'ments 81 your pFoLesdson come and bee me-"
..
Tho English gontlomnn who cano to CHI
caRo to obtain some notes on natural history hns
succeeded bcyoud Ills widest hopos, Tho nbljp.
ing aud entertaining young journalist who gnv,
him a,l tho facta about dressed hogs ha. atto
ptaced h.m.-to uso tho Enslishman's o4n words
hunder han hmu1cuse hoblivatlon by pu uttnr him in
possession Of auch cusous facts concerning 1ara.
sious dog which tho reporter fotperly owned but
which ho aisposed of sumo tiuc ago 10 rrnt1uuan
named Keyaor.
stThat dog, SIT, )" said tue reporter, warmly.
"uas tho most Interesting and Ha.,fsh animal i
ever mot. Emil Of his fuu hs Was ana ulSayv gut
ting oG Jokes not OF your circus iokcs old enough
to vote, hut real live wittclsns. dlsployluv alkc
originality Of conception and felicity of s1rcut,on
FrInntauce, thu gentleman who lived us4t dn,r
to ny house had boy-a youth OF about II or
12-or q stngulariy iuqurlng and vicious turn
of mind. We'll, this buy was alwaYs trying
experiments In nntura! phllosophy-work!uc out
in practical manner such problc1us ns lhIs:- III
yellow do9, with one syo aud ears cacn OF al.
perlclal area Of En- sauarn Inches, can conyoy
lve.qnast pail twelro Dlocka in stxteen and onc-
half seconds, how mauy secouds will II take a
bot-t4 bull. TERROR with raw nm hta h.ck m
convey s!x.galion wash. bullcr fsou, tho cu,nor
OF Robay and Congrusa streets to tAa cltv lin,
int'
"Well, air; the dog had very tptet,ir.nt
anlmal-bccame weary Of scsytu4 ~ fac,or in
snsh equations ns these and for sone aays ho vsyo
lls mind 10 planning how to take rexcugo, une
day say lin 70 our br.rht a,1d n1vr,. ryd,n,is
having camn to \ decfslon an ,hn subtert NM.
which ho woa eog,,ntiuoznr ~ NAV s,v ,,n,t.,.
Ing: and lovards . o'clock obscryea long nro.
ceeson Of uvvn-pofhaps thirty of ,cm-fellowing
John NJ rsimer rh,ch VA tts nnm. of nv fnr
1nto nv baek yar,. Nv cpr,os,tv b.,nr r.ci,nd b.
lila .Incular conduct took IN nv .tsn., ri !.
window where I couti .c. syotvthny thst IN. IN,
tnvnr 1.he Ioo. ..,cm n.d ~ .o,t ~ r,....r,.s,.
Inc. and INV tpu ssa,n.d In n,,Jrraa ,tI.r, In :.