Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-09-04
FACTS AND FANCIES.
One ont of O hundred-99.
A big reyolver-the world.

per IS the mllklnil.
Evansville, Iud., boasts barber whose
skin exudes blue perspiration.
A Pittsburger, who got the BARRIERS
itch, has sued for 81, 200 damages.
H ow proud the sea ia Of it's power!
Did YOU ever notice what dash the
waves cut7
When you see young lady indulging
in the game of archery, just observe her
archher eye.
Are you a wall fower?' he asked. and
she replied, NO, am wall, sir. Then
they waltzed.
Strange az it may seem, wealth has
more unsatisfed wants than poverty
ever scheduled.
A soldier may not know how to dance
all the round dances, but every private
is familiar with his squad. drill.
aye! there's the rub, ruefully sighed
the hired girl, as she surveyed the door
steps with the scrubbing brush in her
hand.
A boy said to his mother recently
Mamma, I should think if was made
of dust should get muddy when l
drink
AS the soundest health is less perceived
than the lightest malady, so the highest
| Joy teaches us less than the smallest
sorrow.
How one thing brings up anotherl'
said a lady, absorbed in pleasing retro:
spection. Yes replied the practical
Dobbs, AN emetic, for instance.
Neal Gillespie affirms that one rod
makes an acher, when rood boy is in
the hands of an angry parent. And
perch-ed across said parents knee, we
opine.
More dried apples are consumed in
st. Louis than in any other city OF it's
size-probably for the purpose of SWELL
ing the population before a new directo-
ry is published.
A bachelor upon reading that two
lovers will si5 up all night, with one
chair in the room, said it could not be
done unless one of them sat on the floor.
Such ignorance is painful.
The Detroit Neacs says The water is
so low in the Clinton river that the fish
have to carry parasols in order to keep
the sun from warping their dorsal fins,
which protrude above the surface.
The editor who quashed juicy cock
roach with the butt end OF his lend
pencil and afterward iorgetfully sucked
the same while wooing coy expression,
suddenly found word, but it proved to
be foreign to the subject under consid-
GRAFTON.
As a party of gentlemen and ladies
were climbing to the top of a high
church tower one hot day, a gentleman
remarked: This is rather spiral flight
of steps To which lady rejoined,
'Yes, perspiral, and she wiped her brow
as she spoke.
In these words correspondent lately
introduced piece of poetry to the no.
tice of the editor of newspaper: The
| following lines were written fifty years
ago by one who has for many years
slept in his grave merely for his own
amusement
A gentleman once remarked to witty
lady of his acquaintance that he must
have been born with silver spoon in his
mouth. She looked at him carefully,
and, noting the size of his mouth, re-
piled, L don't doubt it; but it must
have been soup-ladle.'
Fact is, said Smith, Il intended to
return your book a month ago; but
Brown saw it on my table, aud he beg
ged SO hard that | lent it to him. just
as soon as he returns it, I'll bring it
home. Il sce,' said Robinson, more in
sorrow than in anger, 'this is q case of
bookkeeping by double lentry.'
DR.. e. b. Foote'S Health monthly
AYERS that sit is now possible to repro
duce the voice aud tho handwriting at
great distance by means of an electric
wire and suitable apparatus, and an in.
strument is being perfected which will
make photograph in Boston of per-
son sitting before camera in New
York.
1t is stated that Sir Moses Mont efora
is beginning his plans for the restora-
ton of the Jews to Palestine. The land
in front of the Judah Torah houses is
to be prepared for cultivation. The
rocks will he removed, terraces built, as
in Solomons time, a large cistern con.
structed for supplying water, and a
beautiful veranda placed in front of all
the houses Various other arrange
ments will be made to promote the com.
fort of inmates of the dwellings.
The subject of impression at first
sight WAS being talked over at the tea
table, when the lady whose duty it was
to preside said she always formed an
idea of person at first sight, and found
it to be generally correct. Mamma,
said her youngest son, in shrill voice,
that attracted the attention of all pres.
ent. We'll, my dear. what is it?' replied
the mother. Il want to know what was
your opinion when you first saw me-.
Indians travel free all along the route
of the Central Pacific railroad, and the
following reason is given by the Reno
Gazette. Shortly after the road came
into operation it is related that wash
out occurred near it's eastern end. An
Indian saw the trouble and compre-
hended the danger to the coming train.
He ran five miles up the track, stopped
the train and saved the passengers. When
Croker heard of the occurrence he is
sned an order that Indians should there
after travel free on the Central Pacific.
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Easily Incurred, Terribly Obstinate,