Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1879-06-26

which these might be only the premonitory
symptoms-madness, Rachel, that fearful af
Fiction, from the thought of which I have
always shrunk with horror impossible to
describe. Sometimes, when boy, the fear
that its taint might be in my blood has near.
ly overpowered ME, and this idea, sometimes
rushing over me without warning, in the
midst of my most boisterous amusements
would be sufficient to destroy every spark Of
merriment in my heart, and send me, thought
full and downcast, away from the noisy go
ciety of my play.fellows. There was one pc
riod-though, thank Heaven, it did not last
long-when this dread was constantly pres
ent. It haunted me Ikea spectre, even in my
dreams, and grew nearly as moody as my
brother. The strangest feeling Of unreality
would seize me, and seemed, sometimes, to
lose my own identity, as though were real,
ly going mad. The misery and horror en-
dured during these intervals were indescriba'
ble shudder al the remembrance of chem,
even now. I never betrayed these feelings to
any one, but would hide myself, while they
lasted, where no one could find me. / was
filled with the most painful sense of humilia-
tion, of degradation, at my own weakness,
and would have died, almost, rather than
confess it, even to my mother, who was the
tenderest and most sympathizing of human
beings. She noticed that looked pale and
had lost my former spirit, however, and con.
suited physician, who advised that l should
be sent into the country for six months. l
went, and came home again, at the expiration
of that time, new being. My morbid ap'
prehensions, my fanciful and gloomy ideas,
had vanished, or occurred to me only to be
laughed at. I was stronger, merrier and hap.
pier than ever, and never from that day to
this has the strange affection of which |
spoke just now, returned even for single
day or hour.
Il have spoken thus at length, Of that brief
but dark interval in my boyhood, in which
was concentrated the suffering Of life time,
in order to give you some idea Of the aensa-
tions with which the very thought of insani.
ty, our hereditary disease, has already IN
spired me and of the feeling, which l have
never been able to shake of, that this inner
itance is in some way stain upon us. 1t is
wrong feeling, my love, for since God willed
that some of US should be afflicted with it, it
is our duty not to rebel or deem it curse
yet, though 1 strive to be Christian, I can
not wholly resign myself to this decree. You
will understand now, how, when in my broth
er the fatal disease began, as he grew from
boyhood into youth, to manifest itself, was
not only filled with grief and dismay, but
shrank with inexpressible pain and mortifca'
ton from the very idea Of having his malsdy
made known outside of our own immediate
family. I fear that this feeling was even
stronger than my sorrow at his afliction, ON
this account. You see, my Rachel, ann
very candid, and am laying bare all my un
worthy weakness before you-but you are my
own self, and ought to know the secrets Of
my heart.
"Maurice did not become, at that time, &C.
tually insane; but he had wild fits, and was
occasionally very violent. My mother ab'
horred the idea Of placing him in an Asy'
lum, or, indeed, Of yielding him to any guar
dianship but her own. Even when most un
comfortable, he would submit to her gentle
authority, for her influence over him was
wonderful, and when he was in this untortu
nate condition, she would never leave him.
day or night, until the spell was over and he
could again be trusted to 60 at large.
"This state of things lasted about eighteen
months, and then, to our surprise and relief
he appeared quite to shake off his inirmity
and to become better in health and spirits
than we had ever known him. Shortly after
this improvement occurred, our dear mother
died her last days being rendered happy and
hopeful by the favorable turn his constitution
had taken.
"This common loss seemed to draw us nearer
together, and create warmer feeling OF sym
pathy and affection between us than had ever
existed before. Two or three years passed
without any further change occurring in oul
lives. After that we separated-l to travel
in Europe; Maurice to establish himself in
business in Richmond, where for some time
he continued to do we'll. I went 10 Rome,
Naples, Paris, London, and had my ill
of sightseeing and the pleasures Of travel
Finally, returned home and settled down at
the old homestead-our own dear home
Rachel, where you and we're afterwards SO
happy together for a time.
"Shortly after this, my brother married.
His wife, however, by dispensatior' Of Prov
idence which has since appeared very merei'
full, did not live more than year after their
marriage, which was happy one while ii
lasted. All this time Maurice had not be-
trayed the least symptom Of any return Of his
disease.
"a few months before I met you, however, l
began to notice change in him. He grew
restless and irritable, and his old moody, ab.
stracted fts'came upon him again. I trem'
bled at these signs which, too truly, inter.
preted as forewarnings of what shortly hap
pened. Before six weeks had passed, he was
raving lunatic, and was compelled to place
him in an Asylum, being quite unable to con-
troll him, and feeling myself incompetent to
bestow upon him the sort of attention he re-
quired.
This being his condition at the time that I