The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1879-12-02

| EACV0 AMI xANCx60.
| Ranking noies-Bank bills.
-Woman's wrtes-po>tscripts.
| "A compound word-Rum punch.
Needs looking into-A telescope.
| An active tool never grows rusty.
| A go as-yOu-pleas race-the women
| Are bits Of advice presents Of mind,
| A sage hen-One who avoids the hawk.
True pome ada rhyming dictionary.
| A crack company-a gang Of burglars.
only q question Of time-asking the hour.
Never keep chalk account with mIlkmsn.
A dentists sign-Dn~Ing, music end daoc-
ing.
Fall fashions-coal-hole covers are worn
smooth.
Autumn tree song-"we would not leaf
xlway.'
-Masons give grips, and 30 do unripe
A deal Of money has been made on the ryes
IN whisky
The Boston Courier says it's q sneeEy thing
to take mum.
"A sole-stirring Notwithstanding on the
point Of q tack.
"A South Carolina man cut 2 60 shingles from
one cypress tree.
-George Washington never whipped his wife.
aud maybe he couldn't.
The ladies At Muscatine, Ia, have already
formed their leap year club.
-Cincinnati's Archery Society will shoot ell
winter in her Exposition hall.
1t Is the fellow who eats the chestnuts in the
dark who catches the worm.
1t il said that the fayorite city Of American
ladies' abroad is Dresden.
1T is best To put Of till to-morrOw things !,
you cannot possibly do to-day.
Families that cannot pay the iaker are |
liable to be stricken from the rolls.
A mule near Claiborne. Ga. has been work |
ing IN the harness tor fifty two years.
blessed are the pescemakers,' ssid the
mall boy who dropped costly vase.
A petri6ed body, We learn from the Chicago
Tribune, Indicates that the man Is stone dead
The heart that is soonest awake 70 the
lowers u always first Ia he touched by the
horns.
Cesar burned his bridges behind him, and
hat is hat the man dad who Sal down Oh = red
iot stove.
Mrs George ". Chllds has given $50 to the
und for the education ri the orphaned family of
;enerAl Hood.
Another old lady has 'some to the front"
With ~ famous tedauilt composed Of La, AZ, 7SS
,ieces Of calico.
This il the time Of year when Edwin Booth
hould be very careful of himself November IT,
he month for shooting stars.
..Standing Rear" said an old lady; show
readfui! ! suppose the Indian agents have
tolen all his clothes"
"And oh, Edward.'' said the girl he Was gong
D leave behind him. 'at every stopping place he
write. then ahead. |
Americans wear more watches than any other j
alton. We have the system Of tick to n perfec-
on in this country
The fact that half a barrel OF kussedness is Z
eqnentiy found in two quart boy has never
cen explained.
The Herald says that the late Senator Chan
Ter Was buried in q hard storm. IL would have
zen more appropriate to have buried him IN the
round.
verth.own and religions alter bnt four aces
old undsturbed Pre-emlnence IN their owe
eculiar line. In
"A correspondent wishes to know the hest way n
winter gerxniums. The best and cheapest way
TO sling them over the back fence and buy e
~ lot IN the spring. |.
Mr.. o. He'll is the name Of a deacon 10
1icagO church. When the choir finish poorly Z
ndered song the minister Impatientiy calls out: n
D. He'll, pasr the contribution box.
A rura! editor has lost faith i'm horseshoes.
e nailed one over his door recently, and that O
orning there came by mail three duns and
ven stops and . man called with revolver
ask, "Who wrote that article ?" .
Mrs. Ellen Collins, OF New York, has died
grief because her son has gone on the Bennett
liar expedition She knew that many went, r
Il few ever returned.
Every man has his chain and his clog, only
il Iooser and lighter to man than TO an. II
her and he in more At ease who takes II up n
An he who drAgsH.
A Connecticut woman sued . man for taking u
his hat To her on the street and the jury a
We her s. damages. They don't put on any
olops in Connecticut. q
Newer use fast words. 1t may not always il
agreeable. How do you like my boots.
Ter' exclaimed a youthful bride. "Oh, they're %
mense," he said. "
How ready some men are 70 20 70 law! go n
lpty thing as banana skin has caused many
one 70 bring his suit against the pavement a
Il what did he recover! Not even his
nan unity.
We xuow Of one Adventist who Was taken %
the day he expected TO be- He vas taken
ny policeman for caperng about the streets
q night gown, 81
The eaiety Of the wicked is like the 0owery q
gathering for an eruption that will one day u
luce all ITS beauties to ruin and desolafiOn. sI
-Wilmet-Don't fret; keep quiet; don't run n
er horse-cars get oil the mooSg you can W
ver mind whether your ulster b paid for or q
I, and you ought TO be toleraby happy.
-.what il the difference between the masona
d their tenders" asked the employer, $50 el
V - they get the same pay ?" The difler- :,
% lies in the hOds," replied John, the y
ifisher. b
Hamlet must have looked terribly mildeved a
OpheIia when she characterized him A. the
,onld of FORM" She might we'll have called q
u Q frightful old fungus and been done with 1t. q
"A stranee haIlooo vas reported - having q
scended in Chicago yesterday, but ipvestsa- Il
n proved II to Be only a Chicago beale's
tier hurled from . sour-stOry msnsion q
in the back yard.
Several girls were recently brought before .
stice IN Scranton, Pa, on . charge OF stOning Y
pesceable old lady. Their defense was that :,
e was a witch and they believed il 10 Be- their =
lty to stone her TO death. II
Let Q boy place his stockings in IN iron (
est a. he goes to bed and lock them in With
Z padiocks, and in the morning one stocking o
IN % found under the bed and the other on the 6
airs.