Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1879-07-11
A Political Fizzle.

llSuRu anu LhlOAdluSl
grand Asiatic enterprise. Hannibars
big expedition against Rome was no.
table iizzle, as was also the Fenian
scheme to liberate Ireland from the
:" British yoke' by swashbucklers'
raid on Canada. Fenianism itself was
a ridiculous fizzle. Guy Faukes' at
attempt to blow up the British empire
with gunpowder was similar fizzle.
The Napeleonic dynasty was fizzle.
The revolutionary enterprise of the
three tailors in Tooley street was an
absurd fizzle. Cromwell's sanctimoni-
Gus commonwealth was dismal fizzle.
James IL. and the person called James
Ill. were contemplate tizzles. The
Mexican empire was great fizzle and
the Mexican republic greater tizzle.
Andy johnson was tizzle.
The "possom policy" was fizzle.
Symmes' hole and the expedition that
went in search thereof were fizzles.
The Southern Confederacy
was bad case of fizzle. Sam Tilden's
attempt to cipher himself into the
Presidency was a fizzle. The Potter in
vestigation was a fizzle. Every attempt
to catch Louisiana politician speaking
the truth has been tizzle. Alcibiades'
attempt to divert the minds of the rev.
olutionary Greeks by cutting off his
dogs tail was q fzzle. These are a
few Of the fizzles of which ancient and
modern history gives us an account.
But more complete and more tizzling
fizzle than any of these is the tizzle of
the prodigious party enterprise upon
which the Bourbon President-makers at
Washington set out last February.
The similarity of their undertaking
to that of Alcibiades was very striking
Placed at the head of the Athenian steer
ing committee, it was natural that an
ambitious person like Alcibiades should
desire large and united party of sup
porters. But instead of union, he
found divisions of opinion as to the
proper line of public policy, that, grow
ing steadily wider, threatened to be
fatal to the spoils-seeking plans of
Alcibiades, and his adherents. Evi-
IDENTIFY, they must do something to
evade the questions of the day upon
which the people were separated into
opposing factions. Somehow, popular
attention must be diverted from pend
ing questions to new questions upon
which they could be united under the
leadership of the professional politi-
clans who depend upon their votes to
get the fat offices. In this situation, a
bright idea struck Alcibiades, who
proceeded at once to carry it into ex-
ecution, He chopped off the tail of his
dog Next day, when he appeared in
the market-place, followed at safe
distance by the stub-tailed cur, he was
met by some of his partisans and asked
to give his reason for amputating the
vertebral extension of that fine animal.
He replied, with significant lowering
of the sinister eyelid, that he wished to
give the Athenians something new to
talk about.
Alcibiades Thurman and his friends
saw clearly that unless they could get
the people to talking about something
else than the money question, there
would be no prospect of the spoils for
them. They must get up new ques-
ton. So they solemnly resolved to
get a dog and cut off his tail to give
the people something new to talk
about
They proposed to 60 further than
Alcibiades went, and cut off the tail
very close to the ears, in case any OBJ
stacle should be put in their way. If
the President should veto their PROPOSE
ton to repeal the Congressional elec-
ton law, they would let the Govern
ment starve to death. If he should
veto their proposition to prevent any
employment of the army to put down
armed Instructors of the law, they
would starve the army to death. Such,
they announced, was their alternative
ultimatum, from which they would
never recede "until this Congress
should expire by its limitetion;" no,
nor "until the pismires should carry
them out piecemeal through the key
hole in the bronze doors of the capi-
tOl;' no, nor "until the lower regions
should freeze over" and then they
would fight it out on the ice." Such
was their grand undertaking to divert
public attention from the money ques-
ton and give the people something new
to talk about; in other words, to make
new issue' for 1880.
The President vetoed both their prof
ects promptly. They did not do what
they swore they would do. They did
not withhold the supplies, but voted the
supplies-all but 5000, 900. Their al
Tentative ultimatum was complete
fizzle. They fizzled out of it.
Nor did they do what they might
have done, and what would have beer
rather shrewd plan to make new
party question for the people to tall
about. If, upon the President veto o
their programme. they had voted the
supplies and appealed to the country t.
decide the matter of difference between
| Congress and the President concerning
the election law and "roops at thu
polls" they would have given the peo
! Pile something new, or at all event
something different from the none.
question, to talk about. Instead o
that, they fizzled out completely from
their project in relation TO the army
and passed Just such measure as tn
President requested them to pass. Thu
the "bayonet or ballot question the.
desired to set the people talking abou
an excellent question TO forward thei
partisan purpose-was settled by tn
action of both parties, leaving upol
that subject nothing to be talked abou
further. The fizzle of this part of tn
programme was complete.
On the other part the tizzle proceede,
by degrees. The first degree brough
the programme down from the ulti
matum of starving the whole Govern
ment to death TO the somewhat les