Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-10-16

very tTuc, out TWO IceJ llll-
!, make it mighty quick, provided
they are hens feet
Chicago has 343 churches.
IShe's bound to have the same
things as other cities, even if
Ishe has no use for them.
Friend "Look here, Tom,
you've had enough" Tipsy
youth-ssNo o such thing. Ofen
had too much; never had
l'nough."
"Do you keep any Hamburg
Iedging?" asked a timid miss.
"Not if we can sell it" was the
pert reply of the clerk. lie
Ekept some that day.
GLOW dare you swear before
Ime?" asked a man of his son,
recently. '.IIow did you want
ito swear first?'' said the spoiled
urchin.
An Albany genius calls a
new suspender which has been
patented "The Conscience Sus-
pender." /: owes its name to-
its extreme elasticity.
An Irishman who had on a.
very ragged coat was asked of
| what stuff it was made. "Be-
dad, / don't know; / think the
most Of it is made of fresh air.
A young lady's hat blew off
and was run over by a broad
wheeled cart. The ribbons
were somewhat soiled, but now
the hat is the very latest fall
shape.
Correspondence - sFWill the
editor please inform me where
my family can go on Sundays
and be cool and comfortable,
without danger of being crowd
ed?" Answer-go to church.
Magistrate-"You on are charg-
ed with having emptied a basin
of water over the plaintiff.
Irishwoman-"Sure; yerhonner,
you must forgive me; in the
dark l took the gentleman for
me husband"
Miss Madeup Oldgal-"Y es, Il
love the old oak it is associated |
with SO many hours spent be-
meath it's shade. 1t carries me
back to my childhood, when
when -" Young Poodle II
"When you-er-planted it,"
An old Bridgeport, Ct, wo-
man, who had pasted nearly 81
900 medical recipes in a book /
during the past forty years, has
never been sick a day in her
life, and is growing discouraged; !;
some people are born to ill-lnck,
she says.
A man who has the check to
put up "bitters" containing
ninety parts whiskey and the
remainder dog-button, and then
advertise the stuff as ga friend
of temperance" would think
nothing of stealing a red-hot
lime kiln.
A well known Bostonian was
trying horse one day, in COM
pany with the owner, a profess
sional "jockey." Having driv-
en- him mile or two, the gem
tleman, who noticed that he
pulled pretty hard and shwed
a good deal Of spirit, requiring I
constant watching and a steady |
rein, said: "Do you think that
is Just the horse for a woman TO
driver" "Well, sir" answered
the jockey, 81 must say that / i
shouldn't want to marry the,
woman that could drive that
horse" I3A.a9 - si,4
Once in travelling, the Rev.
DR.. Bledsoe was exceedingly |,
annoyed by pedantic bore whoIt
forced himself upon him, and
made a great parade ofhis shall
low learning. The doctor bore
it is long as he could, at length,
looking at him gravely, said :"My I
friend, you and / know all that
is to be known" 'sIIow is that?''
said the man, pleased with he
thought ola very complimentary
association. "NYhy," said the
Doctor, sYo on know everything
except that you are o iool, and
| know that
A widow, whose husband was
killed in a railroad accident,
sues the company and recovers
700 damages. A man who
lost his leg in the same accident,
sues in the same court and gets
$4,000. The widow waylaysl
the Judge and charges him with
unjust discrimination in valu-
ing a leg at three times as much
as whole man. "That is not
the point, my dear madam"
says the urbane Judge. "Even
with $4,000 the man cannot
buy a leg as good as the one he
lost. But a woman as y0ungl
as you are, with 5000, can
have no difficulty in getting a
new husband" The widow re-