The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1879-07-23
&pi., 3d..
GI sa@

An editor, In speahihS Va
book, says cit is bound to sell" IS
not that what they bind all books Tor
generally?
The most bashful girl we ever
heard of was the young lady VINO
when asked if she had not
been courting sleep.
"A Norwich, VT, man has maze
and wears a set of wooden teeth, ana
no matter what he picks his teeth
with, it is therefore a wooden tooth
pick.-Cin. Enquirer.
Senator Blaine is said to be an
imitator Of Henry Clay. But the
imitation, we think, consists only IN
his failure to make himself Presi'
dent.-Chicago Tribune.
Young ladies who wish to have
small mouths are advised to repeat
this at frequent intervals: granny
Finch fried FIVE floundering frogs Tor
Fanncis Fowler's father"
The New Haven Register In
quires: "When is a man deadf-
We do not like to answer the thing
generally, but we think some people
are when they become beats!
Careful housewife (lifting shoe
from the up-tureen)-'La! who'd
a thought baby's shoe would turn up
in the soup? But, then, knew 1t
wasn't lost. / never do lose any
thingn
"A subscriber in the country
asks: "Who wrote Rock me to Sleep,
Mother?'" We can't afford to issue
an eight.pagc supplement just to
accommodate one subscriber. Post
Dispatch.
-"Even worms reason" says the
Scientific Monthly. That's, per-
haps, why they don't poke their
noses above ground when an old hen
stsnds softly by with a yearning FOL
fresh meat.
"A mother on Cottage Hill saw
, her little daughter draw her sleeve
across her mouth, and said: "Tilly
1 what is your handkerchief forT'-
e ssTo firt with, mama," was the limo
cent reply.
a -"And phat does yez Ak for tn
e caliker?" "Six cents, ma'am." "Six
d teen? Ollie give yez fifteen" "Yo'
x misunderstood me, ma'am; l SAT-
n six cents" "Och, thin, ollie Civ
e, yez foive cents"
3, "A drunken Congressman said t
le Horace Greeley one day, Il am
a self-made man." "Then sir" re
lie piled the philosophical Horace, 9Th
Ill fact relieves the Almighty of a gres
en- responsibility"
u; "A tender hearted woman in Mo-
no roe County, Michigan, has her daugI
es ter PLAY on the melodeon while 81
W wrings a hens neck. The hen
IN thus ushered into the unknown wi
10 spirit softened and subdued.
The American eagle, we unde
sE' stand, has employed the steam f
ol- whistle exhibited at the Centenn
'o' exhibition, to help it scream OF
sh' the victories recently won by t
Americans in England.-Norrist
AZ Herald.
" A matter of fact man was tt
BY his doctor to put check on
stomach il he wished to live Ii
- r. and be happy. He went immedia
w. " to his tailor, who at once FL
~ the prescription by making him
~ plaid vest.
hat Mrs. Vridenberg, of New
~ leans, has been awarded $751;
bod damages for the loss of her husba
Tho who was killed by bear. For
,ror sake of other married ladies we
,oce sorry to say that the bear was l
GOO ed.-Post Dispatch.
saw "A thoughtless fashion VIZ
ac- says, striped parasols are fast TAX
the place of striped stockings. ]
v1xe hardly seems possible or comic
nds bic, but the freaks of fashion
for very strange, and those who
use been wearing striped stockings
,tals he watched with the greatest
N or terest.
pier, "A gentleman was disturbed
that his rest in the middle of the 4
icul. by some one knocking on the 8
sad's door "Who's therep" he asks
used e,,, t,o ,,swer ay
va a 'i0' ~, I...,,
any do you want! ""n' W '''J