The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-11-21
ALL SORTS.

/
And give him good victuals instead:-
Your hearts very hard. sir, I fear.
Or else you are soft In the head
What rob poor man OF his mug,
And give him house of his own,
With kitchen and parlor so enuge-
! IT'S enough to draw tears from stone.
| What rob a poor man of his glass,
And teach him to read and 10 write;
| Whatl save him from being an ass?
IT'S nothing but malice and spite.
| What rob poor man of his ale,
And prevent him from beating his wife,
| From being locked up in jail,
| With penal enjoyment for HE.
WHAT rob poor man of bis beer, -.
/ And keep him from starving ms chlldF
1t makes one feel awfully queer,
| John B. Cough.
Professor Adler says that ''it is neces-
sary in these modern days to dress up
truths In Iew and attractive garbs, SO that
men will listen" Which is equivalent to
saying that men nowadays have no regard
for the naked ruth,-Boston transcript.
Mother, newly bereaved Of baby, to
surviving child. aged six: Iommy's an
angel now, Mary" Like the angels in
with Nv po' White SeV wings, too?'' Yes, dear"
HAS he got fieas in them, like my pigeonsF
A good lady who, on the death of her
husband. married his brother, has a
portrait Of the former hanging in her
dining room. One day a visitor, remark
Jog on the painting, asked: is that a
member of your family?" ''Oh, that's
my poor brother-in-law." was the in
genuous reply.
A professor examining a student on
the bible history, asked him why Moses
was buried in such a secret place that the
IIsraelites could not find him. The youth
replied that it was for fear they would dig
up his body and stuff it. The youngster
was the son of a Snowman. Columbus
Democrat.
President Lincoln once listened patient
lily while a friend read long manuscript to
hiul, and who then asked, What do you
think Of it2 How will it take?' The
president reflected little while, and then
answered. We'll, for people who like
that kind of thing. | think that that Is
lust about the kind of thing they'd like.
; The omnibus at the Rushvile (Ind.
depot was full and ready to start fer the
ICapp Hotel, when the conductor thrust
his head 10 at the door and asked, Any
checks, gentlemenY Yes" said tall,
solemn looking passenger at the forward
lend of the bus; oh, yes, plenty Of checks
but no balances. Aud dim silence fell
upon the migratory community.
You are all alone here?" asked man
J of clerk in Cincinnati cigar store. Re
ceiying an affirmative answer, he cOntin
ued: ~ hat would you do If thief
should grab this box aud run away?" The
clerk replied that he would let the rascal
escape, rather than abandon the money
drawer to possible raid Then Ill be
going the man rem arked, as he tucked
Ifh N h!v
parted
1t was centuries ago. The Duke OF
Mayenne. 10 his camp near Ivry, is brood
ing over the misfor,uncs OF battle. The
entrance to the teut Is daTkened by the
huge form of an aid -de camp, who arouses
the Duke from his meditati0Ds by saying:
Navarro approaches!' What, Ma
varreI" exclaims the Duke; but this
was before the days Of 'Pinafore," the
aid camp dido't see the j Ike at all, and
simply answered: Yes, he approaches
our outer pickets."
Susan, the lndianesS, who saved Mrs,
| Meeker and her daughter from death at
| the hands of their red captors, was moved
to the act of friendship by reason OF the
fact that her own life was once saved by
white men. That's what you can call the
return of bread On the waters, aud yet how
few of US ever take the trouble to save the
life of an Indian princess, never thi0king
how soon she may get the bulge on US. as
Phny expresses 1t -Neto HaUen Register
| a Rockland man is seeking to form a
| stock company, with capital of $50, 1000,
10 shares of S. each to be known as the
Grand Consolid4t Anti Monop ly BIZ
valve Association It's object will be
the gathering up of oyster shells from
which the fruit has been picked, and
shipping them back to New York and
Baltimore to be reflled. 1t Is an unique
idea, and, ii cough business can be done,
will prove vary remunerative. One share
has already been subscribed to by the
originator of the scheme.-Ne1 HdUen
Register.
Serena, darling" he murmured; and
the old gate scarcely creaked as it swung
to and fro beneath her light weight, and
the silent stars looked down with tenderer
glauces, and all South Hill seemed to
hold its breath to listen. Serena, sweet"
he said, aud the radiant bushes that
kindled over the pearly brow and cheeks
softened the silent loveight 10 her iustrous
eyes; Serena, my own, if every glittering
star that beams above, if every passing
breezs that stops to kiss thy glowing
cheeks, if every rustliug leaf that whispers
to the night were living, burning loveing
thoughts; if every-Oh-h ho-hol OWL
Wow owl Aw-w. oh. oh, obi Oh. jimmy
petit On. glory. Oh. murder, murder.
murderl Oh. dad rang the swizzled old
gate to the bow wowsf" And She said
| stltfiY, that no gentleman who could use
such language in the presence of a lady
was an acquaintance of hers, and she went
into the house, And he pushed the gate
open and pulled his manged thumb out of
that crack of it, and went down the street
sucking the injured member and declaring
that. however lightly los pounds of girl
might sit upou the heart of man, it was a
little too much pressure when applied as an
impromptu thum bscrew And the match
is drawn, and all bets are declared Off
Burlington Ha,okege.
When the angy passion gathering In my mothers
face / see.
And she leads me in the bedroom-gently lays me
on her knee:
Then know that will catch it; and my aesn In
fancy itches.
As listen for the pattern of the shingle on my
breaches.
Every t ink of the shingle has an echo and
And thousand burning fancies into active being
spring
And thousand bees and hornets meath my coat
tails seem to swarm.
AS listen II the pa ttern of the shingle-Oh! so
warm.
Tn a Snu+tar com9s nv fu.bo- ,p,o,,, sn,no,od