New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1879-10-29

Mr.. Dennis Towne,o of Ware, Mass,
is now arranging plans for an immense
bonfire on the next Fourth of July
night on the highest mountain peak in
Ware, where he intends to burn q
hogshead or two of kerosene oil.
4 LUCKY DIE.
"WHAr the deuce ais met Where
am I, anyhow Wherever I am, springs
and mattresses must be scarce, for I
know am laid ON some mighty hard
substance. Wonder If it il on dis
secting board7 Wonder If I'm deadp
I feel mighty like it. Maybe I am
stretched out ready for the doctors to
carve me.''
These were my first thoughts, very
cheering, indeed, as I became con-
scious. I could neither speak nor
move; but soon learned that could
hear.
A door opened, footsteps approached,
felt cloth removed from my face,
and voice which recognized as that
Of my intended father-in-law, said:
He hasn't changed MUCH" and
his companion, whose voice I recog.
nized as Sowerby's, the undertaken, said
lightly:
"There's Just where you are mis-
taken, Mr.. Mullins; he looks great
sight better dead than alive; but how
does Priscilla feel about itP Take on
much. ehp''
"Oh!no, just enough to appear wellr'
said the father Of my aftianced, with a
chuokle. She never cared much for
Smith; twas his stamps that she fam
cied. My Priscilla is 3 practical girl
and went in for his dimes, his car
riage and greys, although at the same
time must own she was spooney on
bald-pated Howard, the artist; but
he's poor a. Jobs turkey, as the say
We'll, she can have him now for
allthis poor cuss, can't shep'' said Sow
erby, beating tattoo with his digits on
my chest.
II presume 80; but she win wait till
the year is up, for fear of gossip, you
"But who gets his money, seeing the
poor cuss has no relationsp'' Queried
the undertaken.
cob! that's all right. You see my
Priscilla is sensible girl. Before she
promised to marry him she had him
make his will in her favor. Poor
Smith was rather ssppy, you know;
had nothing against him, however,
although he was deacedly homely, and
such q barn-door Of . mouth, always
OPEN"
Well" said the cheerful voice of
the undertaken, "his mouth is shut
tight enough now, I reckon; he'll
never open it in this world again. I
reckon his immortal part is now with
the angels
And my mortal part is also with the
angels, thought La fine pair of
angels! I felt indignant at their
clumsy ridicule. I tried to shut my
fist. but never shut was to It. /
could do nothing but listen. He then
began % measure me for my coffin. I
had heard that undertakers whistled
joyfully when they got q measure. I
believed it to be only q joke on the
craft; but Sowerby actually struck up
the air Pull down the blinds,'' in !
subdued thrilling whistle while he
measured me.
+" A hobby casket and one hundred
hacks, eh, MIR. Mufinsp Must make
big thing of 1t. The cuss left lots Of
money, and remember he was to be
your Priscilia's husband. Must make
. splurge, Mr.. Muffins,'' said the
worthy undertaken, with an eye to his
own rocket.
"Well, / don't mind II the coffin 10
= little nobby looking; but one hum
dred hacks! The deuce! just send
one or two for the mourners, and the
rest who come to attend the funeral
can furnish their own rigs or hoof it,
whichever suits them.''
They covered my face again and left
me to my own reflections. I had often
heard 1t remarked that meditation was
good for the soul, and this was the
best chance / ever had Of trying it.
An hour must have passed, aud the
door was again opened, and two per-
sons came whispering along to where.
! lay, and the voice Of my promised
wife fell on my ear.
= NAVeS$A VO-AVVA ~ A4Ak&1S O9Xks 8AVWS
ard. he was 90 homely when living, he
must be frightful when dead. .
I ground my teeth III rage % I re.
membered how often she mad gone;
into raptures, or pretended to, over
my noble brow and expressive mouth,
and would solemnly declare that II i
were taken from her she would enter
. convent, take the veil /, and never
more behold the sun.
One al them raisad tl,a cloth. I kna,r
thew were lookinr atme. Howard Wa
the chan sha No. mooney On. whom her
father had mentioned.
.sSeems to me you don't feel yery
bad about his dying, Miss Mullins, . a..
claimed Howard, deliberately.