The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-08-21
UNCLE TOMS EXPLOITS,

Wayne county within ten miles OF
lIoncsdalc. There were dozen or SO
Ofloungcrs in the Allen House bar
room, but rs none ofthcm had know
the strangers Uncle Tom Perry, no
one made any reply.
"Unclc Tom was the unuckicst man,
s'sposc, that ever lived" continued
the stranger, leaning up against the
bar. "Thcn, again, you might say he
was the luckicst man That lived. There
are two sides to every question, and it's
poor rule that wont work both
ways"
The speaker paused, Willie Dick
WcIch, the bartender, made couple
of cocktails that had been called for
lie watched the glasses until their con-
tents had disappeared down the throats
of the imbibcrs and were set back on
the bar. When Dick took them down,
the stranger went on:
"a cocktail was something my uncle
Tom Perry never would drink. lie
I always said, Give me mine straight,
and then if fall by the way | ain't
agoing to get mad and abuse the bar
tender, and lay it to too much sugar, q
squirt Of bittcrs, or tho lemon that was
squeezed in ii. Uncle Tom was a
philosopher, but think he carried his
philosophy alittle too far as to the
matter Of drinks. Now, ain't partic-
ular whether mine is a cocktail ora
| dead straight"
The gentleman from up north paus-
cd again. lIc looked at the party who
had just paid for the drinks. That
party counted his change and walked
to a scat Oh the other side Of the bar
room. Then the stranger looked at
Dick, who finished washing out the
glasses, and turned round to adjust his
nccktic ut tho mirror behind the bar.
Then tho stranger gazed. from one to
tho other of the loungers. No one
spoke.
"My uncle, Tom Perry" once more
nc began, "was always having mar
row escapes until Il year ago. lie
hadn't Il whole bone in his body
when he died and as TO scars, he'd
have made a good twain brother to the
tattoOcd Greek. AS sure rs he went
anywhere near a. railroad an engine
would blow up and give him dip, or
he'd get run over, or his horse would
get scared and run away and break
leg or something for him. Once he
was riding on an express train from
Deposit TO Susquehanla. The train
hadn't gone i;lr before Uncle Tom got
it in his head that he'd go back into thc
rear car. lie walked out of the door
and straight Off Of the platform. lie
was in The rear car all the time and
didn't know it. He tumblcd around
OF the track for about a quarter Of Il
mile, and was cut and slashcd and
scrapcd ina style that would have
driven an arnicn plaster pcddlcr wild
with joy. Uncle Tom picked himself
up, BY and by, and started on his way
on foot. Hold walked pretty much all
the way, when along came the cmi-
grant train. The cowcatchcr lifted the
old gentleman up and pitched him
up against the bank us if he'd been shot
out OF tcn-pOundcr. The engine
didn't seem to mind the shock bit,
went right OH, rs if nothing had hap
pcncd. The emigrant train is halfa
mile long. Uncle Tom had time
enough to consider what was best to
be done. lie felt something like a
picco ofmeat might feel after it has
passed through a sausage machine.
""rhcrc's one thing certain, Ia 'thoHgghl.tt gl.t
all night, and I'm blistcrcd if feel
like walking any further. J. intend to
gcLn ride on this train.'
$50 he hoistcd himsclfup on his feet.
The train was going twenty miles an
hour. When the rear car came along
he made u grab for the railing. lie
caught it and got on, justas sure as
you live. l forgot how many stitches
the doctors took IN the old man when
he got home, but / know they had to
send t, Binghamton for more thread.
Uncle Tom used to say that he never
wanted a little orthc old stuff, straight SO
badin his life as he didaitcr he got aboard
that cmigrant train. 'Thc old stuff
said he, never comes amiss.' Uuclc
TOMS head was always level, no mat
ter how bad he was hurt"
Tho ''up-northcr"p paused again. lie
ran his eyes over the bottles behind the
bar, and read autlibly the labels on
them. Tic turned and faced the bar
tender rs ifhc was about to order q
drink. Dick busted hsnlsclf dusting Y
pacard that hung in plain sight "Nu
trust was printed oni it. The stranger
turned back and faced the loungcrs.
No one seemed to have been listening
to him, but he went on:
81 remember the time that Uncle
Tom had the big runaway. IIc was
watering his horses, and stood right in
front OF them. Some boy set otla fire
cracker, and otl'thc team started. The
old man couldn't got out Of the way,
so he grabbed the end of the tongue
with his hands and threw his feet up
around 1t. There he hung. Tho
horses ran for two miles, when they
broughtu againsta q fcnco and stop
ped. But Unolc Tom went right on.
lie sailed through tho air clear into
tho centre Ofa tcn-0crc lot. and came
down on his head. 1t isn't to be OK
pectcd that he got up and dug out of
of that lot. IIo laid there till they
picked him up. The top Of his head
was smashed in some, and the Doctor
saia they'd have to trcpan it. They
took out piece of skull, and set an
old Mexican dollar in the place. Un-
Gle Tom got around in about a montht
as lively as ever. Tic went to town
one day, and while he was there a
thunder shower came up. Uncle Tom
had great way of getting in ono
big armchair on the hotel stoop, tip.
ping back against post, and taking Il
IN