The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-11-20
SELLING A HORSE.
How Countryman Was Treated by
crowd-Plenty Of Drinks
but no Sale.

! qulrer, ana asked what the pros
poets were for selling a good, quiet
family nag.
"Where's the nag?" called out
several men in the crowd.
"RIght here he is" replied the
lank old man, clasping his long legs
affectlonately around the body OF
the animal upon which he was
seated.
The auctioneers in the six stables
were unable to hold their audiences
and all hands gathered around the
man and his horse. The rider was
evidently about sixty five years OF
age and the horse about the same.
The man was toothless, the horse
almosD so. Both were gray. Va
rIous comments were made on the
"team," and the crowd piled the old
man with questions with reference
to the animal something as follows 4:
"Does he remember Gen. Wash
ington?"
"Can he walk without crutches?"
'Does he carry an ear trumpet?'
do you have to chew his food
for himY etc.
One man looked in the horses
mouth and announced that he was
too old last spring"
The lank old farmer appeared to
be much pleased with the attention
he was receiving, and taking off
battered plug, bowed his acknowl-
edgments to the crowd.
Fetch in the winged Pegasus"
yelled an auctioneer, "and we'll see
what he'll bring"
An avenue was quickly made
through the crowd, as many men as
could took hold of the horses bri
die, one or two twisted his tail,
eight or ten touched him up with
their whips, and thus was the grand
entry made into the stable, the old
man bowling to the right and to the
left, and plugging the sad-eyed ami
NAL in the TANKS with his boot
heels.
A bid of twenty five cents was
made.
"Shake up Bucephalus," said the
auctioneer, land let the gentlemen
look at his PAGES"
The old man belabored the beast
to the rear end of the stable and re-
turned, while a dozen watches were
pulled on him, and a dispute fol-
lowed as to whether the time was
2:17 or 1902.
"This horse doesn't usually take
the whole end of the barn to turn
in" explained the auctioneer," but
he has a touch of the rheumatism
at present. He'll be all right in the
spring. 1 am bid twenty five cents.
Now that you have seen him move,
does the gentleman wish to with
draw his bidP'
The old man said he didn't like
the auctioneer's style, and, as he
used to be in the business himself,
he would, if he wasn't so tired and
thirsty, get into the box and sell
the horse himself.
At this suggestion, he was drag
ged from the saddle, carried to the
auctloneer's stand, and that func-
tIonary requested to make room
for his uncle.
81 must have a drink of-water,"
said the lank old party, as he spat
a sixpenCe and coughed feebly.
water be blowedw cried one of
the crowd; swell get you the regu-
lar juice of the juniperberry that
will make your breath smell like
night blooming cereus," and he dis
appeared in a saloon adjoining.
The old party said water was
plenty good enough for him, but
the other article was produced and
he drank it, with a here's to you
courtesy to the crowd.
Glow much do hear for this
magnificent specimen of boss flesh
which we have before usr" began
the old man with a flourish. lex.
anime him closely for blood or bone
SPAWN, poll evil, scratches, quarter
crack, splint, heaves, thumps,
mumps, bumps, dumps, and when
you find one I'll eat it,"
Fetch grandfather a cocktail
said a voice, and a cocktail was
brought and drained to the dregs,
the old man murmuring softly,
"here's looking at your
"Now, gents, be good enough to
bid up lively. My boss may not be
a perfect quadruped described in
the poem by Byron, Burns and
George Francis Train, but he comes
of the same family, and 1 have his
pedigree at home, and it runs back |
to the time of Henry ""
Fetch him a sour mash ~
81 really ought not drink any |
more, but as you say, it isn't often
l come to town, therefore-my re-
gardsr'
"Oblige me by bidding up sharp"
Thirty cents ~ yelled a voice.
Thank you. Thirty cents 1 am
bid. Gentlemen, you needn't be |
afraid of him. This animal l can
recommend. He won't run down |
at the heel, cut in the eye or shirk
in the wash'n. He is gentle as a
suckin' dove, and pulls like a five
cent cigar"
"a gin-sling for the ancient mar
lnerr'
Gentlemen, your hberalIty is
only exceeded by your generosity, |
and if my old woman knew l was
feastin' and drinkin' with the i'm
mortal gods she would sweep down !
upon us like a bosom of destruction
in red pettIcoat; but-here's hop
in we may all live to see politics
and religion purified and the red
ribbon of temperance encompass
the round earth from Gaudalquiver
to Kansas City
"Fall back for Tom and jerry"
Really. gentlemen, can't per
hn Ill