Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1879-04-22
WIT AND SENTIMENT.
The way of the transgressor is hard-t
keep track of.

The way of the transgressor is hard-to
keep track of.
Indians never kiss each other, and, hav-
ing seen few Indians, we can't blame
them.
A bachelor has left clearinghouse in
which were a number of old maids, on ac-
connt of miserable fair set before him mt
the table.
Women, like newspaper foremen, are
sometimes troubled about making up their
forms. Particularly If there is scarcity
of live matter.
A Canadian clergyman starved TO death
the other day. Whether 1t was owing to
Il lack of salary or too many donation
parties is not stated.
Rector. going his rounds-''An I'M
commonly fine pig. Mr.. Dibbles, declare -
Contemplating-"Ah, yes, sir, If we are
all of US as tit 10 die As him, sir -
Solomon was the first man 10 suggest
parting the heir in the middle. The sug-
gestion was made to two women in
famous law Suit.-Ne,r York World.
Glow doth the little busy bee?" He doth
900 miles to get an ounce Of honey, accord
ing to n Connecticut mathematician. And
Needless man eateth it all up at single
luncheon.
Formerly one sermon converted 5000
sinners" said Elder Burgess Of Butler
University. India, I'm sermon, recently
"nOw IL takes 5000 sermons TO convert
one sinner"
The other day n professor Of German
asked an unregencrate Junior what the
gender of certain noun was. The Junior
quickly replied; Il think it is ueuter, sir.
At any rate IL is neu-ter me.
Bishop Whatelys famous conundrum Is
going the rounds of the press. IL Is this
"When from the Axis capacious rounds
The World went forth in pairs.
Who was the fret who heard the sound
or boots upo1 the stairs
mo thank YOU, never waltz. Ma says
If any OF the young men want 20 hug me
they must DO it on the sly; she won't have
them missing my white waist 30 long rs
she does the washing and has to support
me-"
Broken Heart is the romantic name oil
II
as this title is. however, all sentimental
persons must acknowledge that Fried Liv-
cr, mining village in Arizona, is still
more tender.
Two sophomores enter n horsecar; the
first takes the only vacant seat. and the
second sits In his lap. Presently young
lady enters. and the second soph., rising,
says, Take my seat, madam" Fact
HTcGrd Crimson.
Puck wants to know "what will be done
with Chinese baby born on board ship,
on the liSti" \ Kcarncyitc would suggest
that it be- thrown overheard and rocked
in the cradle OF the deep" Norristo,-H
Herad.
A gentleman was promenading the
street with bright little boy nj his side, |
when the little fellow cried ont: ION, pa. !
there goes an EDITOR" FLUSH, hush -
said the father. don't make sport of the
poor man-God only knows what YOU may
come to yet"
Boston precoCity-Iack aged ten years
or UNDER: II trust, Tommy, that YOU be-
lievc In the non-esscntiality of pre-cNiSt-
20 no further back than the primordial
atomic globule." Exeunt, driving their
hoops .-Harram LampooH.
4 writer Of the gcntler sex says that "a
womanly woman never gets jammcd.
crowded or pushed, and adds, am neither
young nor pretty. This explains it. No
man cares To squeeze a woman who is
neither young nor pretty. Let Us have the
experience OF some of the young and pref
Is ones 49, NorriStotrH H,rdid.
The SUNDAY .incrHooH says: cone oil
the most remarkable things In human ma
ture is the willingness of women To- sacri
flee a girls life for the chance of saving
the morals OF Il Scapcgrace man. II a.
pious mother can only marry her Beolzcbub
10 some good, religious girl, the chance
OF his reformation is greatly increased
The girl is neither here nor there. when
one considers the necessity for saving the
dear BeclZcbub.'
The tongue will sometimes make the
most awkward slips. II is told OF "A cler-
gymau in one % the towns near Boston
that he had given him TO read from the
pulpit m announcement that 1.-THE Bclling-
ham praying BAND would conduct al
the evening meeting; but by some
strange pcryersity of the uuruly member,
the congregation were aStounded with
the announcement that there would be
service by the "Prayingham belly band :"
Boston Globs.
At the recent legislative reception
held at Augusta, a young man from Bel
fast walked up to Il gentleman, and, after
greeting him f;mi!iarly. said "Well, how
do YOU get along down thcre:" Il don't
know what you mean by down there, re-
piled the man addressed. why, don't
YOU remember me and the time stole
pie out Of your pantry when You kept "A
hotel down in WiScaSset?" II neither re-
member you. nor the pie, nor the pantry.
and never kept a hotel. Ny name Is
GdrceIOH. and live in Lewiston answered
the gentleman. The Belfast man looked
blank second and then disappeared in the
crowd. not proud of his interview with
the Governor of Maine.-Belfpst ig'