Connecticut western news., 1879-07-09
WIT ANn WISDOM.
A smart thing-a mustard plaster.

Tho faster man is the quicker he can ruu through fortune.
 Is not detective in the United States Coinage Bureau minus spy?
 A man would rather live with 8 crossed-eyed woman than with cross mouthel one.
 In sitting for n picture, the per-on who winks at the camera gets reply in the negative.
 The girls are making great racket about the correct thing in neckties. In fact, says the Boston Post, it is raging tie-fuss.
 The more honesty @ man has the less he affects the air Of saint. The aff .ctation of piety is blot on the face of piety.
 A Nevada politicinn was elected on the merits of one single speech. All he said. Fellow-countrymen, follow me to wonder saloon"
 When an honest hen is laying the foundation for a family and doing all the hard work some absurd rooster IS really to do all the growing.
 You meet in the world with false mirth as often as false gravity; the grln- ming hypocrite is not more uncommon character than the grooming one.
 Man is physically as we'll as meta physically a thing of shreds and pitches, borrowed unequally from good and bad ancestors, and a misft from the start.
 Men talk too much about the world. Each one of us here, let the world go as it will, and be victorious or not vfctorl- ous has he not life of his own to leadP
 Tt is a universal rule, which has no exception, that great men always resem- ble their mothers, who impress their mental and physical mark upon their sons.
 Tt requires great deal of boldness and great deal of caution to make & great fortune, and when you have gotlt,
 it requires ten times as much wit to keep it.
 A Philadelphia paper says: Any | : for her baby by filling her husband with } cherry stones and compelling him to l dance up and down. The speech which would be listened to calmly by ten or dozen persons, will ) thrill and electrify multitude as the } jest will set the tables in roar, which, f heard by one man, will scarcely provoke
 smile.
 She WAS an Albany lady who 1n'
 formed visitor who came to see hel new house that she was having "nicks :, made in the walls in which to place statutes. and in one of them burst oi G her husband"
 a When two men pass each other ID I the street, and bow, it is understood thai f the sign takes the place of @ conversa'
 tion on hot weather, in which both t would agree that the present Is the not t test day of the season.
 A minister made an intermlnable :? call upon lady of his acquaintance q Her little daughter who was presen I grew weary of his conversation, ano
 whispered in an audible tone, Didn1 ] he bring his amen with him, mammaT 7
 An old man counselling his son a' r to getting along ia the world, says
 "Never be judge between two trlendi
 in matter where both set their hearts a upon the victory; for, where friends ar' t the parties, thou losest one, whlcheVe l. gets the day."
 | A pretty little girl whose costume 7. indicates that her parents belong to tn y working class is contemplating witl e sparkling eyes row of pretty dolls be
 fore one of the toy shops on the Boule g yard. Pointing to the largest and mos
 richly draped of them all, the mothe IS says "That's the one you would like It is it not ?" "Not that one, mamma al she is too we'll dressed for me-" " And se pray, what can that have to do wit
 YOU ?" "Well, you see, I should hk ?" to be my dolls mamma, but not her SCI Id vant."
 y, A Paris dressmaker hears that on d of her young customers is to marry " fellow artist. Mademoiselle, " she sa. p to her, "is it true that you are to mari s. M. D." Certainly" was the r g, ply. "Then you must go to anoth' h. couturaere. I dislike that young ma as I cannot bear the idea of seeing leanlr Id upon his arm a dress of my establls ID ment '" The young girl preferred ut break with her lover rather than wi ok her dressmaker, and the marriage nev de took place.
 to -"Ah," said one gentleman to a for other at the club, "so you have had t
 misfortune to lose you poor nephew an Yes, poor fellow. He would gamt
 in spite of all the doctors told him abo he avoiding excitement when he was su an, iect to heart disc lse, and the other nip CTS while he was playing o,a 3oetttjeM dc not Ca little game of draw) and there V my about 90, ,000f. on the table, he suddel gan dropped his cards and fell over on
 table dead" "Poor fellow How sax
 "Aye, you may we'll say How sa q of He had four kings and an ace in