Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-10-12
cold, or the scorbutic patient the heating
toed, which are certain death to them.
CONNUBIALlTlES.

"A SOOO uOWer Tor WldOW-- a WlQOWer
Marriage is no uneven game. 1t is {
tic. ,.,
An Oswego man calls his wife Poor
Excuse, because she's better than none.
1t there were more marriages and less
sparkling in this country, the consumption
OF Kerosene would probably increase.
The best naturcd man will get trihe
mad, when his wife tells him that she
made "ulsters for the boys' out of his last
winters ear-mutfs.
Matrimony is a holy institution. MOI
only does it unite man to his best friends
but it furnishes good living for thou.
sands of divorce lawyers.
"Don't you mean to marry again, Dea.
con Jones?" asked Widow Simpkins
"No,' growled he, "I'd rather lose what
ribs I've got than to take any more"
Patrick: "And Bildy, darlint, they've
been telling me there's too many of US in
the wurruld. Now Biddy, if you an me
get the praste to make us two one, troth,
won't there be wan the less?"
We hear that Mrs. Julia A. Smith has
given her husband wig, and the ques-
ton is, was Mr.. Parker bald when she
married him, or have the exigencies of
married life already removed his hair?
"Oh," said the afflicted wife. weeping
over his remains, she said he would take
OF t1annels anyway, and the poor man,
he little thought how soon he would 90
to that place where fannels are never
needed.''
Says the Dubuque Herald: James Nc
Coy was married to Miss Emma Schaefer,
at Sherlll's mound, a day or two ago.
The most remarkable part OF the we'd
ding was the fact that the groom meas
ures 10 feet high, while the bride is
but 3 1-2.
A Lebanon paper says a rooster in
that place daily lays an egg. This is
something for the hens to crow over, but
the rooster ought to be ashamed of him.
SELF He might advocate the rights of
the female sex without usurping them.
Be careful when having your infant
christened to give the clergyman the cor
rect name. An Elmira baby whose par
ents intended it to be called Josephine,
retired from the baptismal font as Will
liam Henry. Little Billy teit very mad
about it, but the mischief has been since
rectifed.
The Mormon women say their husbands
are the bravest Of men. We believe it.
Here the man who ventures on treble
blessedness is regarded as a truly heroic
character, but there are no words to ex-
press the true estimate Of the man of
whom 16 women are able to say he is a
darling and devoted husband.
A man and his wife can never agree
upon what constitutes a tidy-looking
room; a woman will grow irrat1ble when
she finds half dozen cigar-stumps stick
ing to the scorched mantel-piece, and he
can't be expected to keep quiet when he
finds a bunch of long combings in his
shaving-mug.
A Mr.. Isaac V. Green Of Michigan ran
away with his wife's aunt recently. In
| other words:
lie ran away with his spouse's aunt,
And never again was seen
thus proving anew what a rare old pl ant,
Is the Michigan I. V. Green.
1t makes mothers heart revert to her
young days when she comes into the par
lor the next morning after her daughters
beau has been round and finds only one
chair in front of the fireplace, and all
the others sitting along by the wall as
if they hadn't been touched for three
years.
One of the saddest and most vexatious
trials that come to girl when she marries
IS that she has to discharge her mother
and depend upon her hired girl.-[Troy
Times. But the saddcst time for the
new-made husband is when the wife
dosn't discharge her mother, but takes
her home with her. st. Adams Adver-
tiser.
A citizen went home from the caucus
one night and asked his wife, ibid you
commit an error or do anything out of
character before we were married?''
| "Why no! What makes you ask such a
questlonE' ooh, I didn't think YOU had,
| but was nominated for town Office to-.
night, and knew if you had it would all
| be out Tomorrow"
Riding in railroad car-Husband
You are quite comfortable, dear? Wife
Yes, love. Husband: The cushions are
easy and soft, ducky? Wife: Yes, dar-
ling. Husband: You don't feel any
jolts, pet? Wife: No, sweetest. Hus.
band: And there is no draught on my
lamb, is there, angel? Wife: No, nv
ownest4own. Husband: Then change
seats with me!
The sight Of a man wheeling baby car
rage in the street is not sign that the in
FAINT is weak, but that the mans wife is
strong. And yet If we were to Judge
from the amiable grin with which thu
fond father, under these circumstances
salutes every passing acquaintance, we
might eroneously suppose thst he was
really doing it just for the fun of the
thing.
There is a touch Of romance about the
marriage of the emperor and empress OF
Austria. The empress is his cousin. He1
eldest sister, now empress of Thurn-Taxis
was destined for the imperial throne, but
the young monarch, on going to Munich
to visit his intended bride was so struck
with the beauty and charms of her young
er sister that, after ball at the palace
OF her father, Duke Max, he presented
the simple young Bavarian girl then but
IL, with bouquet, telling her she was
thenceforth empress ofAustria and queer
OF Bohemia and Hungary.
"seth,' said Mrs. Spicer: ''plants are
very fashionable for hall ornaments now
and wish you would get me one fo1
ours" and when Spicer replied that he
would have hat tree hauled home fo1
her, she further remarked that she wished
he would keep his stupid jokes for his
club dinners, and not bring them home
to contaminate the minds Of the childron