Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1879-12-18
PUTTING ON AIRS.


gentleman tourist who sat slipping II
lemonade in Baldwin's the other day,
and who remarked, as n self important
looking individual came in and haugh-
tily looked around.
"Now, | 'spose that gentleman is one
of your bonanza fellows, and owns about
two-thirds of the real estate around
hcrcPn
mo" was replied; "hc's n much
greater parsonage. He is one ofthc sue
ccssful candidates of the late election"
II might have known i'll" exclaimed
the old gentleman cmphatically. He
acts just as | did when ! was elected TO
Congress-
q" How was thatm
Well. you see. was elected NJ. &
from the fourth district just after the
war. We had a pretty lively campaign
of 1t. and rs never had been in politics
aiore, | somehow got the idea that the
whole country had quit work and was
watching my contest with quivcring
anxiety Every time the other side ac-
cuscd me of being Il chicken-thicf or Il
bigamst, or something, I'd get back
ut them with card in thc Rcdvillc
Harhoop, headed Another Lie Nailed"
I'd send marked copy to every leading
paper in the country
did, chm
Yes. and | was Disguised to find they
never paid the slightest attention TO me
nciaicr. What surprised me more was
that, although kept the President and
cabinet advised OF everything that oc-
CURED. | never got the slightest sympn-
thy from any OF them. thought it was
blamed singular"
" Didn't notice you at all?N
" Not at all. sir, and when | was elect
ed, and the boys lighted bonfire in
the main street, and scrcnadcd me, and
| spoke six hours in the open air rs 10
my future course on the tariff and
finances, the New York papers merely
said that a Mr.. Gum had been elected
hy n small majority my name being
GoulcyE as you know"
THAT was hard
"Wcl, | put that MI down to envy
and malice. and started for Washing
ton. | expected MAT ut least the Speaker
of the House and committccnppointod
by the Senate would be- down ., the de-
pot 10 welcome me TO the capital
Did they do SOP
The only persons who met me were
n committee of hackmcn, who tore my
oyorcoat half OF, rammcd me into a
hack and robbed me, with the aid and
assistance Of the hotel clerk. who then
gave me a dark room on the top floor.
and asked the first weeks board in adj
vance; said it was the rule OF the house
with Arkansas members
THE impudcnt rascal
That's what | thought. Well, the
next morning went up 10 the white
House to see if the President would like
TO stroll down 10 the House to introduce
ff1Y mud -, 4
card, and in an hour or two some sccrc-
tary or other sent back word that the
President was nj breakfast and couldn't
he bothered
That was pretty short, wasn't it2'
well. | was Just dunn bfoundrd. II wv
ever, | went down To the capitol and
told tho scrgcant-at.arms to go in and
announce To the members that had ar
rived. He grinnod and said That's
pretty good. that is : and rushed of |
expected that. of course. the members
would come Crowding up to cUngratu-
late me. and say something like mag
niiiCcnt speech OF yours. that ,Ast one,
Gonlcy. Beat en- hy forty-cicht votes.
too. old fellow And then mobbc they'd
give me three cheers. and all that sort
of thing
And did thcy2"
- No, sir; ] hope | may never stir II
they didn't give me back scat in the
cloak-room until my name was called.
and q door keeper fired me out into the
corridor twice under the impression that
| was a lobbyist. Well. after | had
been put on the Joint committee on spit
toonS and window washing. and spent
a couple of months trying 20 wedge in
my great four hour speech on the match
tax, something occurred that lot down
my chcCk-rcin. and took all the frills
oU' ~'e FOR good
- i,HG was th8t?'
- III. | was taking drive out to the
soldiers home one afternoon with three
members. when light buggy went by
like streak Of creased lightning. the
,rottpT driven by a solemn. looking man
in a rusty plug hat. who was smoking
a cigar and stcadying a small terrier on
the scat with his elbow.
a. That's Butcher Boy said ono Of my
companions. with great interest: 'iruts
IN twenty. He's arattiing good stopper.
bet yuur life
i" Did you notice that doc2 said an
other Best bred pup in town tail no
bigger than a rats; very fine dog.
that
AS had nothing else 10 say casu
ally inquired who the driver was"
80 Why. that's tbc president. said one
of them with q yHwn. By Jovc' how
I'd ike to have one Of those pups"
Thnt settled it. I've been As meek
and sad as n car horse pullinga n picnic
flv#s aft 60.