Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-11-15
PUTTING ON AIRS.



He was shrewd, white-headed, old gentleman
tourist who sat slipping lemonade In Baldwin
bar-room the other day, and who remarked, as
Self-important looking individual came In and
haughtily ordered whisky straight:
Now, 'SpOSe that gentleman Is one or your
bonanza fellows, and owns about twO-thirds OF
the real estate around here?"
mo" he replied; ..he's much greater person.
age. He is one OF the successful Candidates OF
the late election"
81 might have known IT," exclaimed the old
when was elected to Congress-"
SHOW was that?"
swell You see, was elected NJ. c. from the
fourth district Just AFTER the war. We had a
pretty lively campaign Of it, and as never had
been in politics afOre, somehow got the idea
that the Whole country had quit work and was
watching my contest with quivering anxiety.
Every time the other side accused me OF being a
chicken-thief. or bgamiSt, or something, and
I'd get back at them with card in the Redvile
WdThOOp, headed Another Lie Nailed!' I'd send
a marked copy to every leading paper In the
country"
Ibid, eh?"
eyes, and was disguised to find they never
paid the slightest attention to me neither What
surprised me more was that, although kept the
President and Cabinet advised of everything
that occurred, / never got the slightest sympa-
thy from any OF them. was an admin1Stra-
ton man, too, and thought 1t was blamed singu-
lar"
s.Didn't notice you at all?"
"NOt at all, sir and when / was elected, and
the boys lighted a bonfire in the main street
and serenaded me, and spoke six hours in the
open air as tony future course on the tariff and
the finances, the New York papers merely said
that Mr.. Gum had been elected By a small
majority, my name being Gonley, as you
know"
THAT was hard"
"Well, put that all down TO envy and malice,
and started for Washington. | expected that
at least the Speakerof the HOUSE and commit
tee appointed by the Senate would be down at
the depot to welcome me to the Capital"
did they do so?"
"TEe only persons who met me were COM
mlttee OF hackInen, who tore my OvercOat half
OF, rammed me into a hack and robbed me, with
the aid and assistance OF The hotel clerk, who
then gave Inc dark room on the top floor, and
asked the first weeks board in advance; said it
was the rule OF the house with Arkansas mem
bers.''
1.-The impudent rascal
s.That'5 what | thought. Wen. the next
morning | got away from the bad-bugS as well
as could and went up to the White House to
see If the President would like to stroll down to
the House to introduce me and see me sworn in.
sent up my card. and In hour or two some
secretary or other sent back word that the PreSI-
dent was at breakfast. and couldn't be bothered"
.'That was pretty short. wasn't it?'
"NeU, was just dumbfOunded. However. |
went down to the Capitol and told the Sergeant
alarms to go in and announce to the members
that i had arrived. He grinned and Sad
That's develiSh good, that Isl and rushed off.
expected that, or course, the members would
come croWding up to congratulate me, and say
something like magnificent speech of yours
that last one, Gonley. Beat 'em by forty-eight
votes, too, Old fellow And then mebbe they'd
give me three cheers, and all that sort Of
thing
'.And did they?-
"No. sir; / hope may never stir If they didn't
give me back seat in the cloak-room until my
name was called, and door-keeper fired me out
into the corridor twice under the impression
that was lobbyist. Well, after l had been
put on the Joint Committee ON SpittoonS and
Window Washing, and spent couple of months
trying to wedge in my great four-hour speech
on the match tax, something occurred that let
down my chech-rein, and took all the frlls out
OF me for good"
''What was that"
"Well, Twas taking a drive out to the Soldiers
Home one afternoon with three other members,
when light buggy went by like streak OF
creased lightning, the trotter driven by solemn
looking man in a rusty plug hat, who was smok-
ing cigar and steadying small terrier on the
seat with his elbow.
''"ThatS Butcher Boy. said one of my COM
panionS with great interest; 'trOtS in twenty.
He's rafting good stopper, bet your life.'
".Did you notice that dog?' said another Best
bred pup in town; tail no bigger than rats;
internal fine dog, that
'As had nothing else to say casually in
Quired who the driver was"
"'Why, that's the President said one OF them
with yawn. BY Joye! how I'd like to have
one of those pupS.'
'.That settled it. I've been as meek and sad
as car-horse pulling picnic ever since."-[Sln
Francisco Post.