The Portland daily press., 1879-01-16

~.
PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE.
Cap and Bells.
TWO SIDES
Who does not dread the winter,
It's misery, co u aud gloom,
The bleak and dreary Winter,
The fteless. enmfnrtless room?
Who does not hate the wntee
. Its most. its cold and its snow
MeIciless cruel Winter,
wien we can't pay as we go?
Who does not love the Winter
- The hop, the song and the play,
The jolly, joyous Wioter
The jingng bells and the sleigh?
Who does moi love the Winter
The white and beautiful snow
The gay and ssive Winter,
While we can pay as go?
Shoe and Leather Reporter.
Even marble will turn, when trodden upon
aackenssck Rapablicsn.-So will an organ
rinder.-[Cincinnati Saturday Night.
Baltimore Every Sunday. Isn't it funny
that when fish are weighed the weight of the
scales has TO be counted in7
Chicago Herald. There is believed to be only
one thing slower than molasses in January, and
that is lady making room for another lady in
a street car.
Cultured Boston says that the proper term Is
trampers not tramps. The great pulse of the
world is stilled and waiting for the decision Of
Richard Grant White.
The JENKs.
"Come backi come backr' she cried in glee
To Potler's Subcommittee;
Don't leave in such huff" said she;
Come back! And Ilt be witty"
"Come back9" Not they'll They onward sped,
That Potter Su COMMITTEE
With ccat tails horizontal spread,
Skedaddled from the city.
-Nev Yolk Graphic.
Chicago Journal: 1t Is fact fully UNDER
most long tunnels on the route secure the bulk
VI Tue Drlual-tOur trade
BingLampton Republican: "How to break
uD setting hen," was a recent query before
the Farmers Club. For hens sff1 ctsd with
that form of insanity sledge-hammer is the
only effectual remedy. Any ooe who recon-
mends mider method is q quack.
A man can fasten skates on his sister in much
less than half the time he can fix pair on
some other fellows sister. Why is this? Fig
ure it out and send us the answer on ice-
Brunswick News. That's easy enough. It's
because he would let his sister slide before the
other sirl.-Tulare (Cal.) Times.
st. Louis Spirit: She figured up-'Two cans
at twenty cents-that is one hundred and fifty
oysters; milk, butter and sundriss, one dollar
ffty-thst is one hundred and fifty stews; at
twenty-five cents will be forty dollars. A net
profit of over thirty-five dollars" Then she
smiled sweetly, and the oyster man knew that
festival
Smith has good opinion OF himself. He has
never done stroke of work but lives on hard
working father. Nevertheless he fsncies that
some credit isdue him for the fortune which
he ENJOYS. The other day, leaning against the
mantelpiece, his back to the fire, be said: "I
was born the son of poor laborer. Before L
was thirty years old was the son of one of the,
richest men in the country"
Burdette of the Darlington Hawkeye was
showed in at Utica, aud conld not fulfil bis
lecture engagement. He sent AN explanatory
posm to the papers:-
The Burlington man came out of the west
In a swallow tail coat and cut-away vest.
But be said 81 conjecture
There's snow chance for a lecture;'
So his overworked chm had rest
The obituary poet of the Hartford Times has
written some touching lines on the death Of the
late Mr.. Barlow who lost his life by falling un-
der The cars. The concluding stanza, an exquis-
ite piece Of versifcation worthy the poet of the
Philadelphia Ledger, is as follows:
I'll tell not how his legs were smashed,
How bad poor Joe was maimed.
If should write such silly stuff
1 IN ght feel well ashamed.
He suffered by the will OF God
However sad his case;
The Lord have mercy on his soul,
"Requiescat in pace"
Resumption at the Corners.
Mr.. Nasty Calls n PubIic Meeting TO Pro-
test "Agin' It-A Series OF Reso luiions
Fail to Pass "A Gloomy State of Aaairs.
Rsv. Mr., Nasby writes to the Toledo Blade
At last the blow hez fallen. The infamous
Sherman hez forced resumpshun upon long
sufferin people which hez bin in the msrciless
grasp nv the men they borrowed money nv,
wics means, to US, fnanshel rooin. He hez re-
foozed US more money-hs hez turned 3 deef
ear to our sppeels for Unlimited gresnbsx, and
now requires as to come down to a gold basis,
and do bizniz as we did in the slow times afore
tn late uupleasantness.
Their wuz. a feelin Nv depreshun at the Corn
ers wich wuz painful Tho deekin, that sweet
old saint stood over the bar at Bascom's, his
time-snfsebled hand graspln glass nv likker.
supported on either side By Captain, ,McPelter