The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-12-29
An Alleged Ex.Consressmnn.
REMARKABLE EXPERIENCES OF wEsTER,
- r. SrATEcHIS. ,

REMARKABLE EXPERIENCES OF WESTERN
s.. STATESMAN.
rErom the San Francisco ArgonautI s
lie was a shrewd, wbite-headed old gen.
tleman tourist, who sat slipping lemonade
in the Baldwin bar-room the other day, and
who remarked, as q self-important-iooking
individual came in and haughtily ordered
wbiskcy straight:
"Now, ! 'spose that gentleman is one OF
your bonanza fellows, and owns about two
thirds OF the real estate round hereI"
"No," we replied; "he's a much greater
parsonage. He is one Of the successful
candidates o; the late election"
II might have known It'll" exclaimed
the OLD gentleman, ,emphaticalIy. He acts
| Just as did when | was elected to Con-
gTess."
GLOW was that?"
"WelI, YOU see, I was elected M. G. from
the Fourth district Just after the war. We
had pretty lively campaign OF it, and as
had never been in politics before, some
| how got the idea that the whole country
bad quit work and was Watching my con-
test with quiverlng anxiety. Every time
the other side accused me OF being chicken
thief, or q bi9amist, or something, I'd get
| back at them with card in the Redvlle
| IYurphoop headed Another Lie Nailed i
I'd send marked copy to every leading
paper in the country"
"Did, eh!"
eyes, and | was disgusted to find they
never paid the slightest attention TO me, nel-
ther. What surprised me more was, al
though kept the President and Cabinet adj
yised OF everything that occurred, never
got the slightest sympathy from any OF
them. was an Administration man, too,
and thought it was blamed singular"
"Did they notice you at all!"
"Not at all, sir; and when l was elected,
and the boys lighted bonfire in the main
street and screnadcd me, and spoke for six
hours in the open air as to my future course
on the tariff and finances, the New York
papcrs merely said that q MIR. Gum had
been elected by q small majority my
name being Gonley. rs you Know
"Tbat was hard.' .
"Wcll, | put that down to envy and
malice, and / started for Washington. L
expected that at least the Speaker OF the
House and committee appointed by the
Senate would be down at the depot to wei
come me to the Capitol"
"Did they do so?"
.The uuiy persons That met tUe were n
committee OF hackmcn, who tore my over
coat half off, rammcd me into hack, and
robbed me, with the aid and assistance OF
hotel clerk, who gave me 4 dark room on
the top floor, a0d asked thetirSt weeks
hoard in advance; said it was the rule OF
the house with Arkansas members"
1.-The impudent rascal!
"Tbat's what / thought. Well, the next
morning got away from the bcd-bugs us
well rs / could, and went up to the White
House TO see il the President would like TO
stroll down to the House TO introduce me,
and see me sworn in. | sent up my card,
and in an hour or two some secretary or
other sent back word that the President
was at breakfast and could not be both
cred.
s.Well, / was Just dumfounded. How
ever, I went down to the Capitol, and told
the Sergeunt-at-A Arms to 90 in and dannouncc
to the members that had arrived. That's
deyilish good, that is,' and rushed oil. l
expected that, OF course, the members
would come crowding up to congratulate
!. me and say something like, sMaSntlcent
speech of yours, that last one, Gcnley
Beat 'em by forty eight votes, too, old fel-
low!' And then mebbe they'd give me
three cheers and oil that sort OF lhlnS.
And did they?"
"No, sir: hope may never stir il they
didn't give me back seat in the cloak-room
until my name was called, and doorkeeper
tired me out into the corridor twice under
the impression that was lobbyist. Well,
after had been put on the Joint Committee
on Spittoons and Window Washing, and
spent couple of months trying to wedge in
nv great fouf-hour speech on the match
tax, something occurred that let down my
check. rein, and took all the frills out OF me
for good"
"Wbat was that?"
"Well, was taking drive out to the
Soldiers Home one afternoon with three
other members, when light buggy went
by like streak OF creased lightning, the
trotter driven by n solemn. looking man in &
rusty plug hat, whe was smoking cigar and
steadying 4 small terrier on tie seat with
his elbow.
r ".That's Butcher Boy said one OF my
companions with grave interest; 'trots In
twenty. He's ratting good stopper, bet
your life.'
"IDd YOU notice1hat dog p sasd another
sBest bred pup in town; tail no bigger
than rats Internal fine dog, that
.As had nothing.else to say, 4 casually
INQUIRED who the driver was.
".Why, that's the President sahl one OF
them, with a yawu. by Jove! how I'D
like to have one OF those pups'
"That settled it. l're been as meek and
sad as car-herse pulling pic.nSo ever
SINCE"