The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-08-28
uULTUM IN PARyO.

NULTUM IN PARvO.
TIE height of the season-100 de-
grees. -B aston Post. x K
-. LIVES there a boy with soul g dad
Who never to his ma haa said,
"Gimme piece of buttered breadf"
A NAN cares little for his wrongs
when getting his funeral rites.-Yon.
kers Gazette.
SOME malignant slanderer says:
"Woman needs no eulogist, for she
speaks for herself" 1'3 Q. IS
IT is hardly safe to call . man y
murdcrer-one who has merely been
sentenced to be han ged- until you find
out how his new trial is going.-M. O.
Rcayss,se. t}5E
ANOTHER revolution is in progress in
Mexico. We believe this makes 487
since the LIST of July, with some of the
back counties yet to be heard FROM
albany Journal.
"H'M!' says the Laird in William
Blacks "White Wings" II have OBJ
served that young men who are too
much afterward."
ACH1CAGo paper was recently made
to allude to the "holy of holies'' as
"the baby of babies" and another re-
ferred to the panic-stricken citizens of
Memphis as "the prairie-chicken citi-
zens." The proof-reader there must
have been overcome by the heat
Boston advertiser.
HUSBAND" Maria, my dear, you
seem to be very lonesome in my COM
pany. Do you not love me now as you
did before our marriageP" Wife,
"Why, of course, Gerald, but you know
since our marriage we have become
one, and I feel lonesome without .
second party" :
"TH1s, dear 81 ildren, is the shoe of
. Chinese lady; see how little it is;
what very nar row sole it has" "rn
bet it amt as narrow as Deacon IS.
Father says his soul will fall through a
crack in the floor some day and get
lost" was the shrill comment of boy
given to sharp lis tening.-Neso Haven
Register.
JUST think of the polar bear. He
roams around all day seeking the sunny
side of an iceberg, and at night rests
his weary head on pillow Of frozen
snow. He needs no fan by day or NOS
quito netting by night. Neither does
he have to take his best girl out and
treat her to soda water and ice-cream.
-NeU Haven Register.
In a dry-goods store the other day a
gentleman trod on the train of a lady's
dress. The lady turned around savage.
II, with q furious look on her face, as
il she were about to destroy the Gull
plit, and then suddenly changed her
expression to one of apology. "Ah,
pardon me, SIR" she said, smiling, II
SLOWED myself to get very angry
thought it was my husbandr'-Csica.
90 Times.
"LooK at the little creature!' the
friend said. "By Jove, that's the
smallest man ever saw in my lifer'
"Really!' his companion carelessly
rejoined. "Yes really and truly, too.
Doyou mean to say you have ever seen
smaller?'' said the friend; and he
soon had his answer. "My dear fell
low, know q man so small that if he
has pain he can't tell whether he has
. sore throat or q stomach-ache."
SCHOOL BOARD v1s1roR: "May
ask the name of the tenant?" Tenant:
"Mrs. Gubbins; that's me. But what
In name?" Visitor (noting the fact
in his memorandum-bcok): "Gubbins.
Thank you. Have you any children?'
Tenant: "One son. Visitor: $. Does
he attend school?' Tenant: "No.''
Visitor: "Dear me! What is the ex-
cusep' Old Lady: "He's married.
and his wife thinks he can be better
employed. "-English Paper.
ONE of the articles of the proposed
Constitution of Louisiana provides as
follows: cit shall be crime, the ma
ture and punishment of which shall be
prescribed by law. for any President,
Director, Manager, Cashier or othe,
officer or owner Of any private or pub
lie bank or banking institution to assent
to the reception of deposits, or the ere.
alton of debts by such banking institu.
ton after he shall have had knowledge
of the fact that it is insolvent or in fail.
ing circumstances; any such officer,
agent or manager shall be Individually
responsible for such deposits soreceived
and all such debts so created with his
assent"
THE young man who, under tn,
pressure of the least real or fancieC
adversely, takes to drink is grown-uI
baby; but he is nursing the wrong bot.
tie. The young man who is ashamed
Of his mother, because she doesn'
"put on STYLE" and of his father, be.
cause he doesn't use elegant language
Is baby that had no business to have
| ever grown up. An overdose o.
soothing syrup would have been {
blessing to him. The eighteen-year'
| old girl who is sentimental, and sighs
for his early coming at the gate; we'll
she is a grown-up baby that likes to sit
in lap as well as she ever did.-Ness
Have,s Register.
The custom of Postmasters guessing
at the destination of misdirected Letters
and forwarding them accordingly ha'
in many instances caused considerable
annoyance and loss of time to CORE
spondents. The subject has been un
der consideration at the Postoffice De.
partment, and q letter has been pre-
pared recommending that Postmaster
be instructed to discontinue the prac
tice. It is suggested that when the
Postmaster has positive knowledge o
the true destination of q letter hi
should forward it, otherwise it shoult
be sent to the Dead-Letter Office; or
II the necessary information is upo,
the envelope. it should be returned Il
the sender.
A Yeung Mans Diplomacy.
4 As WE have already said, many thou
sands Of aching hearts and i'l-assorte'
marriages would be prevented If onl
young lovers had courage and tact
The other day young gentleman VIII
has long been enamored of one of tn
fairest daughters of West Monro
street, but who has met with scan