Daily Republican., 1879-05-30
,JOE,s WIFE.

JOE'S WIFE.
write, my dear old chum, for the
purpose of inviting you to visit us.
Don't refuse. My wife heartily seconds
the invitation. All, Tom, she's jewel
my wife. know if you could meet
such one you would succumb bach
elorhood. She is the dearest, sweetest,
best tempered, love'iest-the English
language fails me here, but as you
were always better than | at the "Una-
bridged," beseech you to look therein
for some endearing adjectives, and com
plete the sentence. You, who sing
about the felicity of "Bachelor Hail."
when you have seen my happy home
you will change your tune. You must
come, Tom. won't take a refusal.
Yours, etc. JOE HALL.
answered his letter thus:
My DEAR JoE-l thought when last
saw you | could never be tempted to
jeopardize my peace of mind or my
bones by again placing myself at the
mercy of your Internal practical jokes.
But have no other recourse now than
to accept your invitation. You must
promise me, my dear fellow, you will
not play any of your jokes. A married
man ought to be more dignified, and if
you do play any of your tricks on me |
warn you | shall board the first train
for home. Yours, &C., Ton TnURsToN.
Iwsnt. was met at the train by
Joe's servant, man who had a long
body, dressed in long coat, long
waistcoat, long necktie, a long hat,
long boots, and whose name was Long,
instinctively hated this man. He scru-
tinized nae closely; | returned the scru-
tiny. He watched my every movement
like detective would supposed crimi.
nails; WATCHED his movement as a
timid man would vicious canine's.
We at length reached Joes house. |
anticipated Joe's welcome but in his
place came the lovelest woman ever
saw. 1t is true,as Joe said, was always
fluent in language, but to this day can
not find words to satisfy me in describ-
ing her surprising beauty.
"Joe, Joe,' thought |, at is wei for
you that you met her first
"You are Mr.. Thursto ~ she asked
timidly approaching me, and shyly
glancing at me from under her droop-
ing eye lids. l informed her that l
was that parsonage, and inquired for
Joe.
For answer that gentleman himself,
who was on horseback, sprang from the
saddle, grasped my hand, and, like the
irrepressible Joe of old, cried
"Glad to see you, all boy Well
have glorious old times, as of old. Well
hunt, fish, smoke, &C., till you grow so
fat, hale and hearty that your most
intimate city friends won't know you.
Come, let's go in, tea is waiting. Par
don me for not introducing you, but |
supposed you introduced yourself in
my absence. Apropos, it was inhos-
pitable in me to absent myself on your
arrival, but business called me away"
So rafting on Jos ushered us into
the coziest little parb,r that ever poor
) bachelor was called upon to envy. But
the cozy little wife? What was the
envy of the room, with its adornments,
to the envy of such wife Must | ad
init it ?-I might as we'll right here as
at any further period of my recital
felt thrill at my heart. 1t was thrill
Of exquisite pain-a thrill of jealousy
OF Joe's happiness.
"Joe," | mentally cried, "better, far
better for me if had declined your in
vitation.
Presently we had most refreshing
supper, after which Joe and | strolled
out for a walk and smoke.
| "Joe," exclaimed enthusiastically,
"your encomiums of your wife were
,ncrited. She is indeed treasure. By
Jove, if | could find such jewel |
would never rest till won and married
her."
Joe was on the point of lighting his
cigar when | began, but paused with
appraised match until had finished
and the match burned his fingers.
thought tor time be was angry at my
mpetuosity, but his face cleared away,
and the old wicked twinkle feared so
much sprung to his eyes. He grasped
my hand, saying:
"You're right, my boy ; she's the
dearest little wife in the universe. Pm
glad you like her."
After we had flushed our cigars and
talked for some time Of our old college
days, we re-entered the house.
"Nellie, my dear" cried Joe, open,
ing the piano, "fsvor Tom and me
with tune. He has passion for
music
"Perhaps Mr.. Thurston--' began
she, but was interrupted by Joe.
"No, Nellie, protest No mistering
around here It's plain Tom. DO you
hear Tom She's to call you Tom,
and you're to call her Nellie. Viola
ton of this rule will incur my eternal
displeasurc. Govern yourselves accord
ingly." ,
"Perhars he will object,' pleaded
Nell g.
"No, no" exclaimed, cit will please
me very much-and-l will feel highly
honored to be allowed to address you
by your Christian name"
"Pshaw, Tom it'll please her. Won't
it NellY"
She laughed and gave me bewitch-
ing look accompanied by nod.
II was going to say said Nellie,
that perhaps you could sing with
me-"
"No, no; excuse me, l can't sing
Nellie"