Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-11-13
"Ahal" exclaimed Pigsince.


an impossible Mrs. Bantom, who was
ALWAYS kind and beautiful.
Zone evening. l entered little too
soon for Roxanna-I had forgot my
gloves-and, wishing to give her an
agreeable surprise, l went in by the
back way; and I found my adorable
actually kissing her old fail fellow.
who had his arm round her waist,
and-'Ahem!' said I; I called for my
gloves Obi here they are, Toni
says my argel, perfectly cool and
easy.
II need not tell you that didn't
stop to be introduced; but departed
at faster rate than ever before. |
was, in fact, so much overcome with
grief about Roxanna, that | went
home, and to bed, without thought
of calling on Thankful. But, next
evening, l made up my mind that
there was one faithful heart which
would share a. home with me--and tha
was Thankful; and l was thankful
enough for it. l made up my MIND
to pop the question to her at once.
But troubles never come singly; and,
at the instant | put my foot on her
doorstep, what should | see but that
hypocriticsl Thankful Bollis, doing,
by another fellow, what Roxanna
Pardy did the night before. l turned
and ,ccnN Gentleman, | hope | am
sober man; but | am sure that got
drunk that night!
The roar Of laughter, and yells Of
delight, which followed this confes-
sion of Mr.. Tom Porringer, were suf-
ficient proofs that "men can bear the
misfortunes OF others with great resig
nati0n."
"And what do you think next
morning.
II thought that I had the head
ache-and, either Of those two fsl
lows; and, for the matter of that, Of
the girls, too, hadn't married
them, thank fortune and, after five
or six tears apiece for Thankful and
Roxanna, | concluded that | would
90 abroad, and travel for year or
so"
well, my friends, l was gone for
about that time; and, on my retntn, |
inquired after the health and condi-
ton of my former enchantresses-
thinking that, of course, they must
have bitterly repented having lost
their old lover--so attentive as |
was"
Poor things aaid the deacon,
who had ended his eighth glass; II
suppose you found them very much
altered-very much pined away?"
Not exactly!' said Porringer, with
) an extremely arch and significant
look. They had both married, three
months after had left, and Thankful
had bouncing baby!'
"Bless me! Is it possible?" ex'
claimed Deacon Dadwink, trying tc
look melancholy, but finally joining
in the general me,riment at these ex'
perenceu of Tom Porringer.
"Those are the very words l utter
ed resumed Tom, when | found
what kind of married life they and
their husbands were leading.
passed day at each house; and found
nothing but quarrellng, and squalling
and splitting fire. from morning till
night. How l blessed my stars, no.
body can telll"
"But didn't the husbands feel at all
jealous?-or didn't they know you
were an old beau of their wives?"
; II was introduced as such; and
they looked so grave and unhappy
that asked them, in joking way
if they felt at all jealous.
"By no means!'' was the positive
!. answer; glad to get rid of her now, al
any price. Porringer, you're lucky
dog!"
"Ths fact was, had the courtship
and they had tho marriage part O.
love, in those two cases; and never
dared to try another"
"But either might have made yor
bettsr wife"
mo; they smiled on all alike
When one was out Of the way, they
. took a substitute. And if so, in th'