The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1879-11-28
VARIETIES.

down by de cane brake, close by de
MILL dar | met u culled gal, her name was
Nancy TIP she got cdication, den dey called
her "Miss Annie"
An old German frozc his nose. While
thaWing it out he remarked: 81 no understand
dis ting L hafe carry dat nose for forty years,
and he never freeze hisself before"
-"We had short-cakc for tea" said a little
boy to neighbours boy, to whom he was talk
ing through the fence. 80 had we" he
answered. very short-so short that it didn't
go around"
-, Ma" said little boy, looking up from an
illustrated paper, 81 wish was little South
Africa boy" "Why, Georgie?" asked his
ma "Why, cause their mothers don't wear
slippers" he fcelingy replied.
| "A physicians little daughter, called upon
for toast, gave, "The health of papa and
mamma and all the world" But she sudden
| ly corrected the sentiment. Not all the
world, for then papa would have no patients"
An Oil City boy who had run away
| from home and at last returned, was asked if
his father killed the fatted calf for the prodi-
gal. Not much" he replied "he didn't kill
the fatted calf, but he wanted to kill the prod
igal"
.-Lady-"Why did you leave your last
placeE Servant-"Well, yer see, mum, | had
TO pay for all my breakages, and as they
come to more than my wages, yer see, mum,
it was kind Of impogisson that couldn't
stand"
-"What shall preach about ?" said a min
istef TO the pastor of a cOlored flock which he
was about to address. well, mos any sub
ice will be ceptable" was the reply, '"onlv
ia like to glib you one word oh cauton."-
AN what is that y "Well eff wasyou I'd
tech VERY light on de ten commandments"
"lndced! and Why" ooh! cos | hab no
ticed dat dey mos always hab dampnin'
ettcc' upon dis congregation"
Why is n handsome woman like loco
motlVcE No-you're wrong. 1t is not be-
cause she sometimes draws Il long train; il is
not because she INDUCES in SPARKS :" il is
not because she has something to do with n
SWITCH ii is not because she transports the
males; it is not because she may have head
light; it-in fact, Il handsome woman is not
iii the least like ACKNOWLEDGEMENT even when
she is little EAST and blows up her hus-
band.
"A Walnut street clerk was discharged
and asked the reason. "You are so awful
nD" "oVut cNclS lilillS, salu his employer.
you do me an injustice responded the
clerk there is one thing am not slow
about" Il should be delighted to hear YOU
name it." snecrcd the proprietor, "WcII,"
said The clerk, slowly, nobody can get tired
as quick as | can" A motion for n recon
sideration of his case has been referred to the
proper committee.
"A certain man got mad at the editor and
stopped his paper The next week he sold
all his corn at cents below the market price.
then his property was told for taxes because
he didn't read the sherifTs sales; he lost $40
betting on Mollic Mccarthy ten days after
Ten Brock had won the race; he was arrest
ed and fined SIS for going hunting on Sunday
simply because he didn't know it was sun
day, and he paid 5000 for lot of forged
notes that had been advertised two weeks
and the public cautioned not to negotiate
them. He then paid big Irishman With n
foot like derrick to kick him all the wav to
the newspaper office, where he paid four wears
subscription in advance, and made the editor
sign an agreement to knock him down and
rob him if he ever ordered his paper stopped
again.