, 1879-11-20
Home Friendships.

Having had such abundant opportunity,
they fancy they have entirely fathomed
each other, and that there is nothing
more to find out. There is no longer
sho attraction Of curiosity, or Che stiuu-
lus Of variety. They are not viyidly
impressed, nor do they feel a5lo to i'm.
press in their turn. So there comes to
bo q tameness and insipidity about home
life which is supposed to be inherent in
it. The feeling of the usefulness Of oi-
fort deadens effort, and a iukewarm
spirit of good will is all that is even
aimed at. That this is the case in nu-
mcrous families may be proved by the
change which thew experience on the ar
rival Of any valued guest. New life
and energy seem to enter with him and
pervade the hitherto listless household;
each one feels a new pleasure and an un.
wontad desire to please, which are equal
Iy exhilarating; but, after his departure,
they gradually sink back into the old
apathetic routine. OF course the eager
heart of youth especially cannot be sat
isfed with this; it must put out its ten
drills and cling to something; it Graves
animated intercourse, warm sympathy,
earnest purposes, strong emotions, and
finds them In outside Friendships
Now, while such attachments are not
to be indiscriminatsly discouraged,
bringing their own special advantages
and pleasures, it is to be sincerely de
plored that friendships inside the home
are so exceedingly rare, and that the
young are SO generally growing up in the
idea that they are impossible. There
are, Of course, many Neutrality-suspicious.
TO this, where not only husband and
wife have been life long and devoted
friends, but also parents and Children
brothers and sisters. Yet the careful
preservation of these instances, and the
extreme respect accorded to them, proves
their comparative rarity. Probably each
Of us can recall few such cases, which
stand out in bold relief against the
multitudes of households who consider
themselves highly blessed if they only
succeed in avoiding contention and pre-
serving tolerable civilitY among one
another.
Yet it would seem as if nearly all the
materials for earnest and steadfast
friendship might be found within circle
already joined by bonds of instructive
affection and mutual interest There is
sufficient similarity of taste, purpose
and position to win sympathy; and
there is sufficient variety Of age, sex and
circumstance to prevent monotony.
There is every opportunity for elevating
natural fondness into loftier affection,
For developing tho germs of respect and
love into the rich and full growth Of
noble friendship. All the more delicate
relations of sex are fulfilled in their
utmost purity by the friendship OF
mother and son, father and daughter,
brother and sister Why then should
years spent under the same roof so often
separate and scatter the affections of
childhood, instead of cementing and
strengthening them into the rich and
Steadfast friendships of maturer life2
Probably the chief cause of This is
that people rely on the instinctiveness
Of natural affection as being efficient,
without effort, They imagine that
family love is strong enough to take
care of itself, so they take but little
pains to preserve it from the shocks and
jars of daily life. And they also sup
pose that they are so well known to each
other that it is not worth while
TO present their fairer side. In
all this they are mistaken Natural
Affection offers a fine foundation
on which to erect the edifce Of firm
and enduring friendship, but it will not
rise up Of itself. We must build it,
stone by stone, if we would possess it.
Tf we have o valued ands respected
friend, what pains we take to cherish
IIis friendship; how carefully we en-
'deavor to prune away from ourselves
that which would displease him and cul-
tivate those qualities which he admircs /;
how we strive to crafty him by pleas.
ant surprises and to avoid all that could
wound or trouble him Yet, let the
familiar houss-door shut US in and how
many of us take the same pains l'N Here
We throw off restraint, we air our worst
side, that has been Sedulously. hidden,
Ard allow our better qualities, That have
been in full exercise, to fall asleep.
How many Of US apxiously make the
rqost and the best Of ourselves to our
-nnn fnmilnl How many Of Us rngard