Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-04-18
4" Pretty POLL"
HOW A FOURTH. STREET PARROT ABUSES
ITSELF.

ITSELF.
If you have grudge against man,
and desire to wreak a particularly fend
ish revenge, establish q poll parrot OF
talhtive propensities in his neighbor-
hid, and await results. If his hearing
is good, and he is of feeble constitu-
ton, he will die in q week. If he is
tough and obstinate, he may not die at
all, but he will move into another State
before the parrot has got fairly settled
in business. We lived next door to q
parrot, and know what priceless lux
ury the bird is. The parrot of which
we speak preserves discreet and eau
tious silence during the hours of dark
ness, but as soon as the first rays of the
sun are seen he gathers himself to-
gether and yells "suns up" in tone
that makes man jump clean out of bed
and inquire where the fire is.
After the opening overture, "Sun's
Up" Signor Parrot sings the beautiful
aria from the opera of "Sleepnomore,"
the refrain of which is:
"Polly, Polly, pretty Polly;
Polly wants cracker"
And while the indignant ledger is
wishing that Polly had a cracker-a
sixty-four pound lighted fire-cracker
attached to his beak-the artist goes
ahead regardless of consequences con-
sidering every boot-jack flung at him
q demand for an encore, and responded
accordingly. Finally, when a we'll
aimed brick hits his cage, he sings out,
Oh |" as if it was q terrible shame.
Then he thinks he is in danger, and
begins to cry out Justify, "Sarah,
Sarah |" Now there is nobody living
within block named Sarah, but that
don't make any difference to Poll. He
wants to see Sarah, and he yells for her
for three. quarters of an hour. every
morning during the three hundred and
sixty-fve days of the year. In due
time be becomes convinced that Sarah
is dead, and then he switches off on to
+" Emma" who is popularity supposed
to be his sweetheart, but who is too
modest to respond to his call in day
light.
After exhausting the subject of Emma
through sixty-seven highly interesting
stanzas, he turns his attention to the
political situation and observes that
people generally had better vote for
" Polly" who wants fire cracker.
About this time the ubiquitous small
boy succeeds in inserting a pin in
"Poll's" rear, whereupon he yells
"Ofi p in an astonished manner that
con vinces you his sympathies can be
touched. Then he passes few re-
marks on the boy, such as Red
headed Irish, get out" YOU'RE a
hoodlum," "No gentleman would do
that" ETC., aud finding that the boy
fails to get out, he alarms the nighbor-
hood with cries of "Fire |" "Murderr
and "Police !" that ultimately weke up
everybody in the ward, after which sat-
isfactory result the boy departs. Then
poll takes look at the scenery and ven
lures the suggestion that "It is going
to be damned cold day." Then he cleo
trifies servant girl in an adjoining
house by shouting, Take your feet
out of the window, you nasty thing" q
request that is Immediately complied
with, and the servant girl gets out OF
sight in hurry, to wonder if it was
her beau that saw her pairing her corns.
Having refreshed himself with these
few observations, Poll surveys himself
admiringly, murmurs in a tone of self
fiattery, Pretty Polly" and then ex-
presses a desire to have breakfast. And
he makes his meaning ON this point
speedily understood by clatter that
would awake the dead. While feasting
he spies grey-headed gentleman on
the opposite side of the street, reading
a newspaper. Poll vociferates whats
the news 2" The old gentleman looks
around him in establishment, and Poll,
who cannot stand delays, helps him out
by crying, $50 to hell, them" The
amazed old gentleman is about to put
his spectacles in his pocket, when Poll
shouts, "Take that out of your pocket, "
and followed up his peremptory COM
mand by shrill cry of Stop Thief !"
that starts the old gentleman on run,
pursued by regiment of boys. Then
Poll concludes the morning service by
reciting the benediction, after which
he relapses into placid slumber beside
which the sleep of the just is just no.
where. Era.