Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-02-02
PLEASANT THOUGHTS.

l Oul nAu1uS III q lew Gays LnaC he had
gone to sea, he growled, eff I'd known
he wasn't going topay for it I'd charged
him threepence more pound for it, the
rascal!'
Come, now, let all of us who are think
| ing of buying our wives diamond rings
and gold watches for Christmas pause a
moment and reflect that barrel of flour
will make a whole family happy
Detroit Free Press.
| John G. Turner, managing editor of the
New London Comm z'ezeo. am, went to
New York the other day and has not since
been heard of. We earnestly hope that
the dentist hasn't accidentally pulled Mr..
Turner all out.
"Could you," said a young lady teacher,
latter what l have been reading to you
forgive your enemy? that is, could you
| forgive another boy it he struck you2'
"Why, yes, said the little rustic,
doubling his fists, eff he was good deal
bigger than me-"
II will and bequeath," said Pat, "to
my beloved wife Bridget all my property
without reserve, to my oldest son Patrick
one-half Of the remainder, and to Dennis,
my younger son, the rest If anything is
left, it may go to Terence o. Carly in sweet
Ireland
History of yellow fever in New Orleans
~ Jes tole yer, Mis- Anduson, dis
eppumdimmy wuz hard on de cullud
folk. Dere wuz mo- fussin an mo- nussin
n mo- cussin, an dis yere place wuz jes
second Sockem an Tonaorrer. You heah
me!"-N. O. Times.
A witness, in describing certain events,
said, "The person saw at the head of
the stairs was man with one eye named
JACOB Wilkins" "What was the name of
his other eye?" spitefully asked the
opposing counsel. The witness was
disguised at the levity of the audience
A worthy but poor minister requested
a loan of fifty dollars from the cashies of
a bank, and in the note requesting the
favor he said he would "pay in ten days
on the faith Of Abraham" The cashier
returned word that by the rules of the
bank the endorser must reside in the
State.
An Irishman found government
blanket recently, and rolling it up under
his ATM walked off, saying, "Yis, that's
moine-U for Patrick and for McCarty.
Be me sowl, but this larnin's foine
thing, as me fayther would say, for if I
hadn't any education I wouldn't have
been after fndin' me blanket"
The last novel begins: lit was In
horse car, one rainy evening. A man en-
tered and asked pleasant looking youth
comfortably settled in a corner, to give
up his place to his female companion. A
cheerful answer in the affirmative was
given; but for his politeness the accomo-
dated parties returned no thanks.
An eccentric wealthy gentleman stuck
up board in field upon his estate,
upon which was painted the following:
II will give this field to any man who is
contented." He soon had an applicant.
'Well. sir, are you a confronted man?"
"Yes, sir, very" "Then what do YOU
want with my feld?" The applicant did
not stop to reply.
| A young man who sent manuscript
play to theatrical manager had it re-
turned to him, with the remark that if he
would only work it over so as to make
the heroine rob the bank instead of de-
fend it, and afterwards climb up cat
aract on slack rope, with safe on her
back, while the detectives paused fright
ened on the brink, it might do.
A young Scotch girl inquired of a
gentleman, in broad Scotch, the road to
the fremont House. He desired her to fol-
low him, and asked her how long she
had arrived from Scotland. "Sax weeks,
your homer" On their arrival at their
destination she very coolly inquired,
| 'Noo, sir, wall YOU just tell me hoo ye
kennel was frae Scotland"
The longer live, the more do become
satisfied that nothing is so good for peo-
pie who are in deep trouble as real hard
woodwork that not only occupies the
hands, but the brain; work on which, one
lavishes the best part of the art-EAtio.
Any one deep in trouble can have buck
saw and a wood pile by applying at this
oftice.-Detroit Free Press.
My friend, the foreigner, called on me
to bid farewell before he Quilted tow,
and On his departure he said, II am going
at the country" I ventured to correct
his phraseology by saying that we were
accustomed to say ''going into the count
ry." He thanked me for this correction,
said he profted by myslesson, and added,
II will knock into your door when I re-
turn"
How to rise early; Resolve you will,
take long breath, kick off the clothes,
and make bound for the middle of the
room, cold or no cold. Another: The
man who resolves on the subject is lost.
The only way is to quit thinking and
kick off the cover. And finally: All
wrong. The best way is to be so rich
that you can afford to remain right there
until the weather warns up.
This story comes from the local depart
ment of the Arkansas Gazette: ssNews-
papers pasted on a wall in a room where
there's sick man are sometimes the Cause
of much trouble. To prevent the pa
TENTS reading, the papers are generally
inverted. Even this didn't work well
for the other day sick man killed him
self by standing On his head attempting
to read an inverted paper pasted up near
his bed.
A woman came t. the theatre box
office in company with child about 10
years of age. II want Elm dicket," said
the woman. Gritty cents" replied the
afable Elrod. "You don'd sharge any
dings for dees shild9" s'Y es'm-5O cents. ~
"Vats For leetle dings like dota" s'That's
the rule" "Va-a-t2 Feefty cents for a
leetle ding like dot, vat amt got no
senses" Elrod says it required all his
nerve to refuse pass.-Loussoslle Courier
Journal.
The following style of paragraph seems
to be growing very popular this season
ut is sad fact that often the wittiest