The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1879-11-15
VARIETY.

A tramp got q new suit Of clothes out of the
Sidney, o., authorities in u very original way.
lie committed some slight ofense, for which be
Was put in Jail. As sson as he was behind .he
bars he deliberately took of his clothes and cut
every dud into shreds, including his boots. Or
course a new suit had to be purchased for him
that he could appear for trial, and be got EN-.
Teacher: Z" Now, boys, quadruped and biped,
you know, are two kinds Of animals. Quad
ruped, animal with four legs, such as cow, ele-
phans, horse, etc Biped, animal with two legs,
such as-well, ah-. Yes, there is a biped,"
pointing to a picture Of goose on the wall,
"a and am a biped, and you all bipeds.
Now what am p Pause. One Of the bipeds
" goose, sir.
In Connecticut district school q little boy,
ssx years old, seen 10 whisper, but denied
doing so when reproyed By the teacher. He was
told to remain after school, when the teacher,
trying to impress upon his youthful mind the
sinfulness OF not speaking the truth, asked fthey
did not tell him in the Sunday-scbOol where all
went who told falsehoods. Choking with sobs,
be said: 90 Yes, marm; it's place where there
Is IRE, but don't just remember the name of
the town.
A correspondent sends to the EUGngeEsf the
following pleasing metrical version Of the fifty
first Psalm, printed in the Chautauqua Assembly
Herald:
Uriah gone. Gods TO hght
King David saw his pretty wife,
And quite forgDt Urfah's claim
TO this fair face and helpless dame
He sacrihced Uriah's life,
BAthshebs took TO be his wife.
When God reproved, he saw his sin,
And asked the Lord 10 pardon him
Ought not the Society for the Prevention of
Cruelty to Children try some means for saving
Sunday-schoOl children from the mentally weak
ening effects Of drivel Of this sort?
The story is told by Dr. Storrs about little
clergyman whose bald head was just visible to
the congregation when he got into the pulpit,
=. Al IL
greater things than these is more than match
ed by the old story from Boston Of the late DR..
Parkman when he preached his first sermon ID
high, old-fashioned tub-pulpit Of Brattle street
Church. Very little Of him was to be seen ex-
eept the top Of his head and arms, which he
waved about as he read, - Lo, it is L; be not
afraid
A sceptieal young man confronted an old
Quaker with the statement that he did not be-
lIeFe in the Bible. The Quaker said: 90 Dost
thou not believe in France? ?'' {" Yes, though 1
have not seen il l have seen others that have /;
besides, there is plenty of corrobOrative proof
that such q country does exist. Z" Then thee
will not believe anything thee or others have
not seeu2'' =. No, TO be sure | won't "a Did
thee ever see thine own brains ?'' ' No. " Ever
see anybody that did?'' a. Does thee believe
thee has any ?" The young man left.
An ANEcDOTE OF THE LATE CHARLES LEVER
The late Charles Lever, Consul at Trieste, had
accompanies NE ueuSueSI " HOnuon, AOlN
Lytton, hearing Of his arrival, invited him TO
dinner 81 All, Lever - said he. greeting him,
so glad you able to come You will
meet your chief, Clarendon (then Minister OF
Foreign Afairs). Now Lever had omitted the
Gormality of applying for leave. . fear L must
retire; my nose is bleeding" he replied. max
ing for the door, which at that moment opened
Lord ClarendOn being announced. After shak
ing hands with the host, his lOrdship espiec
Lever before he could make good his retreat
Ah, Mr.. Lever didn't know you were il
England. | didn't even know you had asked
for leave" - NO-O-no, my lord, stammered tn
witty novelist, - thought it would be NOR
respectful to your lordship to come and ask TO
It in person.