Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1879-11-18
Phil with the buster, and Fanny after

Phil with the buster, and Fanny after
Uncle John with the broom.
Phil made spring for the window, but
there was whatnot in the way, and
getting his leg e1tangled in that he
brought the whole concern to the floor.
Ambrotypes, books, vases, rare china
and hundred cherished curiosities, all
were involved in direct ruin.
Phil went down with the other things,
Uncle John stumbled over him, and |
Fanny only saved herself by Selling
the bell-rope, which brought her two
servants to the spot.
Of course they took Phil and Uncle |
John for housebreakers, and if Fanny's
had not been enforced by
sundry touches of her broom stick the
consequences might have been serious.
The first moment of calm was seized
upon by the young couple to embrace
each other.
"My angel Fanny!"
my precious Phil"
And then followed an explosion like
the bursting of beer bottles.
Uncle John left the house during this
interesting performance, still firmly of
the opinion that the surest way of re-
conciling wife to her husband is to get
third person to help abuse him.
ORIGIN OF THE WHITE TRAsH.-A
negro minister delivered funeral dis
course, in which he gave an account of
the origin of the white folk throw
ing Darwin in the shade:
my bredderen, when Adam and
Ebe was fust made, they was brof mig
gers. But de good Lord put dem it de
garden where he had his summer ap-
Piles, and tole EN-, Adam, you and Ebe
may eat dem summer apples much as
you want; but you jes let dem Fowler
apples bel dun save dem for my own
special toof. Desc, like sheep meat, too
good for niggers.'
"Deh, de good Lord went off bout
his business, lemonading up and down
the yerth, seeking whom he might save
up. BUT he no sooner turn his back
dan, jes' like two fool niggers, Adam
and Ebe steal all de Fowler apples. She
taste de first one, smack her lubly thick
| lips, and Quired of Adam, How is dat
for high?' Adam said it was all o. K,
and dey went for dem Fowler apples
like de hething Chinee.
"Bimbi de Lord come back, and de
fust thing he said was, Adam! Adam
where my Fowler apples?' Den Adam
got skeered and said: L don't know,
Lord, but speck Ebe got 'em.' De
Lord went to Ebe and said, 'Ebe, you
got dem Fowler apples? Den Ebe got
skeered and said: Dunno, Lord, but [
kinder spect dat fool niger, Adam, took
'em.' Den de Lord got so mad he fair
Iy smashed his teef. He stomped back
up to where Adam was standing shi-
verin' like sheep-killin' dog, and he
made de ground fairly shake as he say,
Adam Adam! you grand old thief,
what for you steal my Fowler apples p
Adam got so skeered he turned whit e
as sheet, and, my belubbed bredden,
he never grow black any more, and dat
accounts for the poor white trash we see
flynn round here SO grand, votin'. Let
us look to de Lord and be dismist."
BOOMERANG JOKE.-Capt. Brough-
ton, of Portland, tells story as follows:
Some time in AS there were a number
of army officers stopping at a hotel in
Washington. Among them was Cap
tain Emerson. There was also Cap
tain Jones, who was a frst-rate fellow,
good and very pompous. Emerson
and Jones used to have a good deal of
Joking together at the table and else
where. One day at the dinner table,
when the dining hall was well filled,
Capt. Janessfinished his dinner first,
got up and walk ed almost to the dining
hall door when Emerson spoke to him
in loud voice and said : 'Halloo, cap
tain, see here; [ want to speak to you a
minute The captain turned and
walked back to the table and bent over
him, when Emerson whispered: I
want to ask you how far you would
have gone if I had not spoken to you
The captain never changed muscle, but
Strengthened up and put his fingers into
his vest pocket and said, in voice loud
enough for all to hear him: Captain
Emerson, I don't know of a man in the
world I had rather lend five dollars to
than you, but the fact is, haven't 8
cent with me to- day. and turned on his
heel and walked away. Emerson was
the color of half a dozen rainbows, but
he had to stand it. He ever heard the
last of it, and it-cost him more than ten
dollars to treat on it.
THUMBS ON THEIR FEET.-A sin gulal
fact has been recently reported Of the
people of the littIe.visited country of
AMMAN, an Independent though tribu-
tary State on the south of China. The
natives of the country of pure descent
have the great toes of each foot separat-
ed from the others like the thumb on
the hand, and can and do use their toes
Fin much the same manner that the
thumbs are used, though, of course, to a
much less extent. In the vicinity of the
seaport of Sargon, where foreign inter-
course has produced an admixture of
races, this typical characteristic of the
Annamese is gradually passing away,
but in the northern sections of the King
dom, where the race has remained dis.
tinct, it is rarely the case that child is
born without flexible toes. That this
popularity is of great antiquity is shown
by the fact that in the Chinese annals of
the year $500 B. c., there is descrip-
ton given of the barbarian tribes that
were then to be found upon the borders
of the Chinese Empire, and among these
one tribe is mentioned as having this
peculiar formation of the big toe. This
Annamese popularity might be of use
to Mr.. Darwin, as showing the persis-
tency with which type is adhered to by
Nature when the surrounding condi-
tions are left undsturbed, and how
quickly modification takes place under
changed conditions.
THE MAGELLAN FLOOD AND GLACIAL
| EER1OD.-FrOI. O0Calne assures us
that in his late lecture, delivered before
the Academy of Sciences in this city,
while undertaking to establish an iden-
tity between the Naochian deluge and
the glacial era in their origin and
phenomenal effects on the physical
geography of the earth, their equal
duration was not necessarily implied.
The commencement of the glacial period
he described as q universal, instan.
taneous upheaval, caused by the change
in the axis Of the globe. Under what
laws this change was effected he could
not say, but its cyclopean effects were
written as with a pen of iron on the
rocks forever. The whole crust OF the
earth was rent and the molten heat and
gigantic forces of the central sea of fire
mingled Inadly with the fountains OF
the great deeps upon the surface, go that
mountains were raised to immense
proportions, and new ocean beds were
formed. While the deluge of Noah and
the glacial period were therefore linden.
teal in their commencement and their
4 - ~.