The Portland daily press., 1879-01-04
Yorick's Drawer.

taste is not to be disputed; but the censori-
GUS correspondent has Yorick's profound
pity. He is to be regarded as we regard
those who do not like strawberries, nor love
music. He has missed one of the most de-
lightful things in life.
The American newspaper is notable for
its humor. Much that passes under that
name is only called so by strained an ID mis-
chevous courtesy and consists of verbal
quirks that have become as tiresome as the
fantastic tricks played upon words by the
writer's of the Elizabethan age; but more is
genuine humor, and enough Of it in quantity
and quality both, is daily turned off by the
journals of this country to furnish forth a
hundred Punches. Occasionally, it is true,
the "stick," which is the making of punch
is left out; there are Murphys among the
paragraphers. Even the fun niest papers
sometimes leave out the necessary ingredi-
ent. Thus we have the Gowanda Enter
prise, which says many bright things, nod
ding long enough to drowsily ask "When one
of the Wall street spectators is caught nap
ping in his chair, could it properly be said of
him that he is bull-dozing?" The query of
course will be taken up and a hundred
changes rung upon it. One will very likely
remark that it is bearly possible the Wall
street dozer is not horny-headed speculator,
and others.will continue the hunt. But far
oftener the humor is of that extravagant and
Brobdignagian strain which impels the Bridge
port Standard to say that Lightning might
do more sometimes if it wasn't in such an aw-
full hurry" or leads the Boston Post to remark,
apropos of the recent utterances of a promi-
nent politician, that "Bill Chaudler's mouth
hasn't healed up yet."
Wit is not so abundant n-our-Hewspa-
pefs. Yet It is not SO infrequent. When
the Camden Post says ga mans character is
like a fence-you cannot strengthen it by
whitewash," it gives US genuine epigram.
Quite as felcitods too, is this from the Gin
cinnati Breakfast Table: "a tack points
heavenward when it means the most mis-
chief; it has many human imitators." A
bright turn to familiar quotation is given
by the Biddeford Miniature, thus: s.T am
thy fathers spirit as the pint flask said to
the inquisitive urchin who had been investi-
eating the cupboard" Mr.. Talmags hay
ing claimed that hell has four gates, the Buff
falo Express hopes they open outward, so as
to give easy egress in case of fire. The Hack
ensack Republican gave witty conceit when
it said last fail: "The leaves of trees, like
summer boarders with bills unpaid, take
their departure leaving. their trunks behind
them" The following is evidently stolen
from the English: At dinner the host in
troduces to the favorable notice of the COM
pany splendid trufled pheasant amid MUIR
murs of admiration. "Isn't it a beauty ?'' he
says, 'Dr. So-and-so gave it to me-killed it
himself" saw, what was he treating it
for?" says one Of the guests. This, which is
going the rounds without credit, bears evi-
dence of origin in the New York World news
paper: ga thorn in the bush is worth a doz-
en- in the hand"
The World is striking illustration of
what sagscious management will do for a
newspaper. 1t is now ''the brightest and
best" in the metropolis. Envious. or facesious
contemporaries are fond of rallying its editor
upon a weakness for pantaloons and the
British peerage very likely the ALTERATION
therein is the only sincere thing in the accu-
sation. Mr.. Hurlburt can calmly respond
to all taunts in the words of Gaileo, an d
calmly move on his courteous way; for the
World certainly does move, and is much
better paper than it was three years ago. If
it had done nothing else its introduction Of
the phrase "Our esteemed contemporary"
would entille it to the gratitude of all news
paper readers who do not care about feeding
exclusively on east wind. But it has done
something else. 1t is courteous, scholarly
and newsy from "leader'' to ''locals." Wisely
much of Its strength is in its reporters, and
no day passes that some topic of general in
terest is not presented and most attractively
handled. Mime readers may judge of its
manner ( N the way in which it gives this
familiar Maine item:
The boy whom Mr.. Whistler implored, af-
ter sitting down on palette, to stand still
because there was an exquisite Turner on
his breeches, has been outdone by the wood
en- partitions OF a drawer, in which for twen-
ty-6ve years Mr.. Calvin Hervey, of Belfast,
Me-, has kept his tools. The scratching Of
the implements as they ratified around in the
drawer, the action of the oil which mingled
with the rust turned green, the dust and
CRIME of quarter of century, all combined
to paint on these pine-board partitions tol-
eraby good sketch in dull colors OF the ocean
with three vessels sailing on its bosom, and
in the distance headland with lighthouse.
Mr.. Hervey has had the picture framed in
gilt, and it hangs over his repairing bench tor
inspection. 1t has not yet occurred to him
to call it "a Coincidence in Dirt" and ask
200 guineas for it.
Those who wish to buy by sample will
find in the "World's Almanac for 1870,
compendium of useless and interesting infor-
nation" funnily illustrated by Church, an
appetizing taste of World wit. Many of the
best things of the past year are herein gath
cred. The following whist proverb will be
found of advantage to players Of that good
old game-"When in doubt take the trick;
you may not be noticed doing so." Barking
dogs never bite-they can't while they are
barking" the World tells us. Here are 9TH
ers: "The longest poll takes the persimmons
unless there is returning board." 'Nev-
er put off till tomorrow going out to see the
man you can see between the acts" "Man
is the same in all ages. In the Arabian
| Nights we read that a fisherman opened
| bottle and out came the Djinn." "Some
| mems besetting sins are not half as bad as
other mems besetting virtues" "'Don't
give up the acknowledgements on his
bier" These have favor OF French wit
| ''Passion is like mountain which one takes
| to touch heaven because it loses Its head in
the clouds" "There is only one thing more
idiotic than customs and usages, and that is
to neglect to conform to them." "For all of
us, and especially for women, the emptier
years are the more heavily do they weigh.'
The World fables are famous, and in Amer
ican favor Esop jr. already rivals his elder.
The collection published last year met with
| instant success. The "Almaniac" contains