The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1879-11-28

good deal-and even something over.
You soldiers all know that when
that little fellow arrived at family
headquarters you had to hand in your
resignation. He took entire command.
You became his lackey, his mere body
guard; and you had to stand around,
too. He was not commander who
made allowances for time, distance,
weather, or anything else; you had to
execute his order whether it was posi-
BILE or not. And there was only one
form of marching in his manual of
tactics, and that was the double quick.
He treated you with every sort Of in
science and disrespect, and the bravest
of you didn't dare to say a word. You
could face the death storm of Donelson
and Vicksburg, and give back blow
for blow; but when he clawed your
whiskers, and pulled your hair, and
twisted your nose, you had to take it.
When the thunders of war were sound
ing in your ears, you set your faces
towards the batteries and advanced
with steady tread; but when he turned
ON the terrors of his war-whoop you
advanced in-the other direction, and
mighty glad of the chance, too. When
he called for soothing syrup, did you
venture to throw out any side remarks
oOOuI CoEsdAA SSENACcS OSAuS uuOOCOIu-
ing an officer and a gentleman No;
you got up and got it! If he ordered
his pap bottle, and it wasn't warm,
did you talk back? Not you; you went
to work and warmed it. You even
descended SO far in your menial Office
as to take suck at that warm, insipid
stuff yourself to see if it was right
three parts water to one of milk, a
touch of sugar to modify the collie, aud
drop of peppermint to kill those i'm
mortal hiccoughs. I can taste that
stuff yet.
And how many things you learned
as you went along! Sentimental young
folks still took stock in that beautiful
old saying, that when the baby smiles
in his sleep it is because the angels are
whispering to him. Very pretty, but
sstoo thin''-simply wind on the stom-
to take walk at his usual hour-half-
past 2 in the morning-didn't you rise
up promptly and remark with a men,
tai addition which wouldn't improve
Sunday school much) that that was
the very thing you were about to pro-
pose yourself? Oh, you were under
good discipline. And as you went
futtering up and down the room in
your tsundress uniform" you not only
prattled undignified baby talk, but
even tuned up your martial voices and
tried to sing, "Rock-a-by-baby on the
tree top,'' for instance. What a spec
tacle for an army of the Tennessee
And what an affiiction for the neigh
bors, too, for it isn't everybody within
a mile around that likes military music
at in the morning. And when you
had been keeping this sort of thing up
In l.
vet head intimated that nothing suited
him like exercise and noise, and pro-
posed to fight it out on that line if it
took all night-"Go on! What did you
do?' You simply went on till you
dropped in the last ditch.
1 like the idea that a baby doesn't
amount to anything. Why, one baby
is just house and a front yard full by
itself; one baby can furnish more busi-
ness than you or your whole interior
department can attend to-; he is enter
prising, irrepressible, brimful of law
less activities-do what you please you
can't make him stay on the reserva-
ton. Sufficient unto the day is one
baby. AS long as you are in your
right mind don't you ever pray for
twins. Twins amount to a permanent
riot; and there amt any real difference
Among the three or four million
cradles now rocking in the land are
some which this nation would preserve
for ages as sacred things if we could
know which ones they are. For in
one of these cradles the unconscious
Farragut of the future is at this mo-
ment teething. Think of it! and put
ting in a word of dead earnest, unar-
ticulated, but perfectly justifable pro-
family over it, too; in another the fu-
ture renowned astronomer is blinking
at the shining Milky Way, with but
Ianguid interest, poor little chap, and
wondering what has become of that
other one they call the wet nurse; in
another the future great historian is
lying, and doubtless he will continue
to lie till his earthly mission is ended;
in another the future President is busy
ing himself with no profounder prob
Iorn of stafe than what the mischief