The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-05-07

the Nth story OF burning building,
and carried feather bed down stairs
in his arms. tF-s.... z.,--s-
A.. s1a "W1LL ye love mo thus forever1~
.... And she looked into his eyes m
'' With glance that seemed token
OF the fervor of her signs. .'
..... II wudn't guaranty it, .s '-'1t
With smile responded Pat .
For I'm hardly AZ the notion
That III lasht - long Is thati"
" ARRAH, Pat, wouldn't you be afther
bringing home the shovel I lent ye last
Christmas?" "Divl bit! I haven't
done with it this three months" "Be
jabbers! and whatu do for shovel
meself?" It's perfectly aisy for ye to
borrow one, as did; so be off wild yer
self, and not be afther bothering me
agin wild yer nonsense"
A WETzEL COUNTY man went into
Wheeling restaurant, the other day, and
asked for dozen oysters. The polite
waiter asked him how he would like
them dressed. Dressed" exclaimed
the fellow; "hang it, 7 don't want
'em dressed at all. Iwant 'em naked,
and don't you forgit it." This was q
nude departure in the oyster trade
Wheeli7ag Leader.
PR1MEvAL photographers were philos-
ophers, as are those of to-day. Dioge-
mes was one of them. The best pun he
ever perpetrated was Tub he, or not
tub he." The only difference between
Diogenes and modern paragrapher is,
Diogenes went about the streets carry
ing lantern in daylight looking for
man, while the latter goes out after twi-
light to 'see man."
The other day q little Hub" 4
years old, while playing in the nursery;
came across an old doll, rather the worse
for wear, and being in generous mood
he took it to his mother and said :
Mamma, I dess I better div dis to the
swil man when he tums wound, an
p'aps he will take it home to the swill
lady and let her fix it up all nice for the
little swill children to play wouldn't
you, mamma? &ET Trf
PRACTICAL reputation has taken a
peculiar and summary form in the
bankrupt city of Memphis, Tenn, which
has virtually abrogated it's municipal
charter, and whose Mayor and other
principal officers have resigned their po-
sitions. AS city corporation Memphis
is magnificent failure. FL "
ACCORDING to the statistics of 1870
there were 9,749, 1888 acres of timbered
land in Ohio. In 1877 there were but
6,117,310 acres. If these figures are
correct they show the destruction of
over 100000 acres of timbered land in
Ohio in seven years. Gov. Bishop calls
attention to the matter and counsels g
halt. H.. ....-.. -.-.. ....
An Irish agent having been instruct
ed to raise rents, called meeting of
the tenants and appraised them of the
intention. "You can afford it," said
he; "see how prices have risen."
Silence was broken by an old farmer,
who said, "yes; there is no denying of
that. It used to cost pound to get an
agent shot, and now, be jabbers, it can't
be done under two" The rents have
not yet been raised.
FAsH1oN-NoTEs predict long-tailed
coats for gentlemen the coming season !;
which is sweet assurance that in the
future we won't be obliged to hunt
around after holder when we want to
lift hot plate.-FWlt01e Times.
The Gar IS said to be resolved upon
the thorough reorganization of the Rus
sian navy. He is very dissatisfied with
the insignificant part played by his feet
during the recent war, especially with
the iron-clads, for which he has acquired
deep aversion. No important addi-
ton will be made to the Baltic feet for
several years to come, the energies of
the Government being directed toward
the creation of feet in the Black sea.
"D1D you ever" asked brother hui
morist of Josh Billings, "stand at the
hall door after your lecture and listen to
what the people said about it as they
went out?" Replied Josh-"I did
once "a pause and sigh), but I'll never
DO it aRain."
The Russian physicians report the
following as the characteristics of the
prevailing plague: A swelling of the
size OF hens egg appears under the
groin. This is accompanied by gen.
eral indisposition and violent headaches.
From these signs of the disease to it's
complete development only few hours
elapse. Immediately afterward ensue
oo'oAO AnOOAAoA PtAAAo3 SOOAOu6 VOm1C
ings, and soon after black spots break
out on the body, mostly on the breast,
the forearm and the top of the back.
In an hour or two more the patient Is
dead.
TEXAS is going to sell enough wild
lands to build new State House.
The family physician was con-
graduating the ladv of the honse
on the good health of her 6-year-old
son, who, she said, had not had an ache
or pain for year. The youth spoke to
his father afterward, saying: Ma is
mistaken about that; I had a hard pain
last summer, after she whipped me-
Rome Sentinel.
MANY readers Judge the power of q
book by the shock it gives their feel
ings-as some savage tribes determine
the power of muskets by their recoil;
that being considered the best Which
fairly prostrates the purchaser.