River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-08-28
Miscellaneous News Items.

knowledge IN the right bower, and one
Of the Show csN cards in the pack, yet in
the game 81 iff cheek is the little joker
that Is oftc., times the winner.
An exchsng.. hastens TO inform us that
| Queen Nic!osia drinks her tea out of
saucer. G%ai to hear 1t; always sup
posed she sock up the teapot and drank
out Of the .nnpc.'
II you want tew get at the circumler
eacc Of man says Josh Billings, "eX-
anime him uln ang men, but il you Nant
tew ret IT Jli- zaktual diameter, meazurc
him at his 9le=1de."
Mother.s,ns me" said llttle girl t.
neighbor, 4sto:ask you to come and take
tea with her.lilis evening" dId she say If
What time nay .lear!' mo, madam; she
only said she would ask you, and then
the thing wdeld be off her mind-that
was all she sSpi"
Thomas X. Beec' az asks. "Have YOU
e3er amused. Yourself wit the whirl of
water suckiua down through the waste
ot' a hathtnb%' We never have, Thomas
During tbeg: DAYS We arc satisfied Il,
amusc our-eft with the whIr Of tn lem
oaade suckisg up through Il straw Rome
Senttae'
"Pa, sait.B little boy who was looking
at pictures ofstmnge creatures, "an aux j.
bird whiet one would be apt to shun,
isn't it, '-t:supposc So. TRANQUILITY an
swered the. tather. And II any one
5 ould US I'm aux, then thai would be an
aux shun, .suldn it! The unhappy par
ent has soa,%out.
Seven yop.,e Iadic. received the degree
of A. 3 q Northampton recently.
"But asE,s the Lowell Co,a 'er, chow
can ii yolusg woman be a lachelor2a
Fshaw! :. 3 don't mean that in adys
diploma. Itzmcans latter bachelors, and
signifies tla=tsc young lady that received
tac degree ]. qualified for matfimony.
Adoph What tine did your sister
Kitty reacls Buffalo: Evaduc Cecilia
Don't kno,$ exactly. But persume she
arrived at tl.' same time t!, train did
Adolph All, indeed always sup
posed a ladv,arrived little ahead Of h,t
tuin. e. ca Change of AR is what YOU
need, Aiolph your head Is too full
dear.
ooh, yes; IN mad Just as mad as |
can pe acclaimed fashionable lady,
tossing her ;bQa e. give emphasis to er
words, ITO iiank that those horrid report
ers ould l5,e had the impudence to lug
me into tEes description Of the Fitzger-
aid wedding. Ugh! the hornd things
aud they disin even mention the lace on
my dress.
A Observation-Disclosures to familiarize
little girl with the va ious countries Of
WestGtE hemisphere, with little evi-
dence Of s1Cctss, finally asked If were
To bore a hGe through the earth and you
were to o. Through at this end, where
would yol Some outf" Come outl" re-
piled t tBld; "why, I'd come out Of
the hole, mss.n
The Tusti@ ahose gingerbread is annu
ally stolen .ny the elephant was at Bar
nuns circu. 20 day, and hen the appe.
uzlDg comts WAS snatched from, his hand
he shook bis fist At the huge thief and
yelled. willie teais coursol down his
checks DaFn We, We double tailed fool,
give that ba. 4 here OF I'll knock your two
front teeth town yer old throat
On a h,r5. ~ jon tour. recently, the
young husbfnd going across from Dover
to BoulogBta vas uddculy very strange
. Are yru ills loyet' exclaimed the anxious
fgodel wife ,Oh. say, Alfred. beloved,
are you l]ts He was afraid 0i being
doubted, arr family replied IL think
The shrmpH ] had for breakfast this
morning mast have been alive
When PET Baruum. Young man,
poor and ir. debt. left Daobury, he said
~ Judge EhittleseY. II wiH pay you
that bill N2.n I get rich The judge
drew down ,ass judicial features and dis-
rsplied THAT will be when
sieve hollis: .atcr In few years the
Customary yaung Iuan was IN q condition
90 pen tbs following brief letter to the
ludge ~ tflve fixed that sieve
Good ytosies are always aou twins.
We all relnfa,ber the quaint story of Ru-
5us Choate, ssho, when told that If he pur.
sued his bird work he wtnd ruin his
.onstituticls replied that the constitution
y an gone fc2tg since, and that for years
le had beeis living on the by laws. OF
sheridan tse counterpart Il told. He
was .omeaslat given to Indulgence in
strong drils When demonstrated with
md warD&ds hat the quantity Of brandy
le drank @suld certainly destroy the coat
# bis stomach, he quietly poured ont an
'thcr glass: and replied Wen, then,
ny dear ffi.nd, there is nothing for my
'omaoh q. .la but to digest in its waist
.nat