South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1879-06-20

HANH 80 A'A1SostNhuStIlr, RIOhltu Tic uuS-
band. "That is the survival of the fit.
test" my DEAR" replied the wife.
mo, thank you, never waltz ma
says if any of the young men want TO
hug me they must do it on the sly she
wont have them mussing my dress up,
and leaving finger marks on my white
waist, so long as she does the washing
and has to support me-"
gentleman noticing that his wife's
bonnets grew smaller and smaller, calm
ly said, al suppose this will 60 on until
the milliner will send nothing but the
BILL
A deep well at Stockton, Kansas, has
ruin dry, and is emitting sulphurous
fumes. Mr.. Dappin, firmly believing
that the bottom has fallen into Hell,
maintains position day and night at
the opening, with an axe at hand, ready
to kill the devil when he energies.
The Evening Post has the following
story as told by Thomas Hicks, the ar
list. The scene was Trenton Falls, ".
T., a summer or two ago. Mr.. Hicks,
who had been on trouting expedition,
was approaching the inn with single
large trout, which he intended to sketch,
when a gentleman who had Just arrived
with party Of ladies, noting his rough
fisherman's costume, took him for a SER
want of the house and called out Here,
my man,do you know all about the fallsf"
Yes, sir" replied the artist. "Come,
now, show us the way there Certain
~" The artist led the way to the falls
and on the way was so entertaining that
she tourist insisted on his going over the
whole route with him. At the close of
the journey he handed the artist dollar
and asked his name. "Tom," was the
reply. "Well, Tom, you are the most
intelligent guide ever met, and ought
TO be in better business. If you ever
come to New York call on me and | will
try to help YOU THANK you, SIR"
said the artist, who had keenly enjoyed
the situation, and had accepted the dol
lar rather than to mortify the guest bv
an explanation. Next day the guest
told the landlord that he wanted to sc.
cure Toms services another day. AS
the landlord replied that no "Tom" was
in his service the truth soon came out,
but Mr. Hicks keeps the dollar as a SOU
venir Of his afternoons work as a guide.
Ex-Governor Coke, U. S. Senator from
Texas, tells the following of the lobby
lists that infest Washington: Il never
saw such a town as Washington. When
came here to attend the special session
OF the Senate purposely went to d quiet
place, gave orders if any body called to
have their cards sent up to my room,
and that the outside door should always
be kept closed, which would compel call
ors to ring Wen, would you believe it,
few nights ago [ was sitting i'll my
room, when in rushed two gentlemen,
unanuOunced. Said one of them 'Gov.
ernor Coke, believe. How do you do,
Governor Coke?' Their manner discon-
certed me little, but | answered AS
pleasantly as l could: Yes, ! am G ov.
ernor Coke; but how in the world did
you get in my room 2 They answered
cbeerfully oh the lower door was
opened, and we just walked right up
4C11 ,l.,,, . 4 II. 49,.
if they would go down stairs, ring the
bell and send up their cards in the rcgu-
lar way. They both went down stairs
and did as ! told them, aud then l sent
them word that ! was not in
A remarkable corn.cob, more than a
foot long and of the same circumference
that indicates a large grained variety of
corn, has been received at the deadletter
Office. It was sent to a Massachusetts
paper by a Kansas granger, who made
the postage on his package insufficient
by scribblng on 1t the following explain
atory note "lu Kansas wO fatten our
purp on tho corn, and then we use these
cobs for slovc.wood 10 roast the purp
with aud thus in our prairie homes we
make both ends meet (meat?) In fayora-
bic seasons one stalk has a little gourd Of
shelled corn growing on it for chickens.
Henry Clay was travelling somewhere
"out West, and put mp for a night at