St. Landry democrat., 1879-04-12
WAITS AND WHThss.

"a ITO DEoAsl,
e'ose to h 5 %throbbing heart
my darling" quoth he tende, Nv.
wen never, never part"
~ io'ieo along, their feelings changed,
ihey always change, per forcs;
ol1 gal'' he cried most bitterly,
Let's get us a divorce"
Spanish lace wells are again fashion
able.
''"hy Is young wife like a hinge
because she is something to adore.
When a man has no mind of bis OWN
his wife generally gives him a piece of
hers.
there's music in the heir" says
Jones. Jones has a bran-new hahv NJ
his house.
Tie Is the only rich man in thu
world who has learned to be content
with what he has.
"A shoemaker's wife, out west, calls
her husband Sequel" because Ae IL
always at the last"
Two things go of in a hurry-an
arrow dismissed from a bow, and q beau
dismissed from a belle.
.-Ihe difference between our sanctum
and a dairy is: One has an easy chair
n the other a cheesy air.
.!House"cleaning is like a man going
through a tunnel on a dark night. He
never knows when he's through.
The Boston Post says Fanny Daven.
port weighs $50 pounds. Some grocer
man has been giving her a weigh.
MANY a man who feels himself great
among little people would find himself
little if he were among great people.
Anonymous articles will receive No
attention. the editor remarked when a
baby was lett on his front doorstep.
They we're cousins, and he ltsped,
From the summit OF his chin,
Can't [ have a kith, Amelia"
And she answered, " course yea kim"
What were the worst results of
the civil war p cried an orator. ovid
ows!" shouted Jones, who had married
one.
Never tell g man that he ia q fool.
In the first place he will not believe
you, and in the next place you make
| him unur epomv
If you sweep your own dooHgters
clean you will have little time to criti.
cise those of your neighbor.
Life seems a bowling wilderness TO
a man who stands in a bedroom with q
Niagara of wster dripping from his face
and hands and no towel in sight.
Secretary Sheaman thinks the gov
eminent will not be able to get nd Of
its CON-" Why on earth dosn't 1t start
a daily newspaper then ?-[Hawkeye'
Says Giles: "My wife and I are
two, yet faith I kown not why, sir
Quoth Jack: "You're ten, If I think
true-she's one and you're q cipher"
"A young lady, when solicited for .
kiss by an inebriated sutton, refused,
but couldn't keep him from pressing her
hand. She says she escaped by a tight"
squeeze.
The Boston Advertiser relates that
the same ship lately took to Africa eight
hundred thousand gallons of rum aud
one missionary Heavens! what did
they want of so much missionary
[Bu1alo Express.
"A pair of drawers straws in lemon
ade.-[Puck. A pair Of pants-two
dogs after a long dase.-[Philadelphis
Chronicle. A pair of slippers-two eels.
-IAlpsny:,Argus. Apair OF aheo's-two
women chasing a hen.-ERochester
Democrat.
The wife Of a printer in New Haven
hes applied for q divorce, OF the ground
that her husband had no style about
him he wouldn't brace up, had no daaf,s
cut no figure, had no point, lived to n"
rnle. was of bad form and make up
wasn't 8 mar of letters or up to the Pc
riod, was a poor type of the genus was
out of quoin, and couldn't impose ON
her any longer.
In 8 case tried before the recorder,
q witness for the defense, in giving his
evidence, observed: 1.-THE whole AMAZE.
vour honor, did not amount to g row OF
n;,sn Counsel for the prosecution :
L." What is the value Of q row Of pi''sr'
Witness (naively scratching his nosst
"That ali depends upon the extent OF
+h1 rowu Counsel: ~ have no more