The Russellville Democrat., 1879-10-09
AN IMAGINARY ADVENTURE.
A Fish Story of Unusual Dimensions in Which a Preacher and Widow
 Figure Largely.

The latest fish story comes from Long Island, and the parties involved are the Rev. Mr. Hopper and a gushing widow of a religious turn of mind, but not averse to innocent pleasures, especially fishing in the company of ministers. The Rev. Hopper, we are told, and the widow were summer boarders at the Squonpig- yank House in the village of Wassicho- quebunk. In an evil hour the parson consented to accompany his fair friend in quest of trout. He was rather trapped into it, as appears, and only con- sented to go when he could not gracefully decline. The prospect of sitting on a damp rock listening to the widows con- versation and at intervals putting worms on her two fish-hooks and perhaps oecas- ionally relieving them of fish was not very encouraging; but he resolved to make the best of it. The widow was a masculine woman, and wishing to throw her line as great distance as possible, made one fell swoop with her rod before the parson had time to withdraw, when, with shriek and exclamation, the heads of the widow and the minister were brought in violent contact. One of the hooks had caught the fair fishers nostril and the other buried it's fuke in the par sons ear. Joined together they were, sure enough, and the parson sought in vain to effect divorce. But the stout catgut would not break; his pen-knife, alas, was in his other brooches pocket, and to adopt the heroic remedy of ex- tracting the hooks, as from the gills of a fish, was too painful to be thought of. There was no help for it, but, with the nose and ear securely linked together, the widow and parson started for the hotel. The interval between the two hooks was so short that to prevent pain ful jerlxings it was found she must recline needs support and steady her with his arm about her waist, while with heother he carried the offending tackle. As the wretched couple thus wound their tortu- ous way homeward they was deserted by the small boys of the neighborhood, who were at once thrown into great excite ment and, rapidly increasing to mob, insisted on attending the involuntarily united couple, and by vociferous com ments added to their silent misery. Re- lief came at last; pair of scissors quickly separated the sufferers and careful hands extracted the offending hooks.
 This is substantially the story as relat- ed by the New York Times, and it further appears that the Reverend Hopper's troubles were far from ending at this poins. With his lacerated ear yet un- healed he fled from that village, unable, doubtless, to meet the broad grin of his fellow-boarders. In his absence the scandal grew apace, and soon he fouhd himself summoned to appear before a tribunal of brother ministers and answer grave charges which affected his charac- ter, both as a minister and man. It was charged that he had been seen walk ing through the streets with his arm around drunken widow, when he kiss ed her at frequent intervals. In addi- ton to this, some one had probably over- heard the boys, charged him with loudly singing, ..Whoa, Emmaw The charges of Kissing, of singing and of the widows intoxication the Reyerned Hopper sue cessfully disproved. The true story from which these false ones arose was patheti- cally set forth and the brother unani- nDl Il : acuuitted