Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-07-25
A NEWLY MARRIED COUPLE.
A Laughable Account of their Trials and
Nicissitndes.

| Vicissitudes.
A gentleman just from Western
trip gives laughable account of the
trials ola newly married couple who
boarded the train at a way station. He
says as the train drew uD to the station
the whole car was aroused by the I'M
usual din and noisy farewells, "wish
you much joys" and repeated kissngs
Of joyial crowd Of young folks. The
newly married couple, arrayed in we'd
ding costumes and evidently fresh from
the final service, took seats in the CEN
ire Of the car, and where at once the
attraction. In very few moments both
the bride and the groom gave evidence
that there were some more oyerpower-
ing agencies than love at work in their
systems. The groom turned over a seat
in front and elevated his pedal; he put
his arm modestly upon the back Of the
seat, while the air from the window
hoated the white veil and flavor of the
orange blossoms over his face. But
something was on his mind, and he mo-
mentarily grew more restless and twist
ed and squirmed in all manner of ways.
| The bride, too, seemed to have the same
SYMPTOMS. She tried the easiest attitudes
now with her head lovingly upon the
manly shoulder, then suddenly arrous-
ing and looking uneasily from the win
dow as if in expectancy of disaster, or
that she would inject" the frown of an
angry father.
Suddenly, when all eyes were attract
ed to the couple, the groom evidently
receiving q new and deeper twinge,
with misery depicted IN every feature
of his face, lifted his right leg, and be-
gan Juggling at u new boot which some
wicked shoemaker had inveigled him
into buying rs a perfect fit. After pulls
and tugs, which made his veins stand
out ON his face, and the arteries OF his
neck throb like small engine, he sue
ceeded in releasing his foot, and sense
OF happiness stole across his manly face.
The bride surveyed the smile, but it
seemed only to increase her misery.
She wiggled, she famed, and finally,
IN desperation, she attacked the buttons
or her new shoes with as much vigor MS
her lord did his new boots, and one by
one they dropped on the floor.
Both sets of feet were placed in prox-
unity upon the overturned seat, and the
brides shawl hid them from the vulgar
gaze. The bonnet was numbered
from its pedestal, and the blushing
bride dropped easily upon the shoulder
Of her husband and securely slept, rs
the train whistled and stopped and
started. The passengers relived of anx.
iety, had settled down to catnaps and
newspapers and peanuts, when u long
whistle was followed by the brakesman
putting his head in ut the door and yell
ing "Cresson."
"Great Jerusalem, Juial wake up
here we are" shouted the bridegroom;
land there's them, internal boots"
He jumped at them, and tugged, and
sweated and swore, but those feet had
actually grown about nm inch, and it
was no 60. The station was reached,
when only one foot was stuck halt way
in the ley, The fair Julia had encased
her pedals slip-shod and rs "tme and
tide" and railroad trains wait for no
man." they gathered mp their traps, and
went out Just rs they were, "witsout
one plea," to meet crowd of friends
assembled to meet the newly welded
pair. We are expecting every day to
hear of the death of that shoemaker, and
to see the jury bring in " verdict of JUS
titiable homicide,