The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1879-03-04
"RoUNDABouTs."
Little Women with Large De-
raands. Iei
Courier -Journal1

ICcurier- -Journal.l l
Ii you are man, with mars res
pect lUr woman, and ii you have JUS
sixty seconds to spare 10 catch til,
train; and ifyou step into The post
Office 10 inquire for your mail at the
general delivery, us did a certain
worthy citizen Yesterday, you will
invariably find little woman there
before you--as did the worthy citizen
who is saying: as there any mail
for me 2" "Nothing at all" ,"replied
The clerk. "But you never looked.
know there must be letter from
Cousin Ann McGrackers, at Oolte-
waw." The CLERK assures her that
there is no such letter. "Aail't there
no dress samples from New York n
mo dress samples" Look in Your
tlress.sample hole. Amt you got a
dress-sample hole?' Here you stand
on your left foot. is there any.
thing for The ianrily?" she continues.
Nothing" "0h dear mel what Is
the matter? Uncie Caleb promised to
write sure last week" Here you
stand OH your right loot.l Give me
The Simpsons mail, them" The
Simpsons have letter. "Is there
anything -"lat this point you take
out your watch and beat a tattoo
with your boot for jeremiah
Briggs?" "Nothing.' "Or Morocco
Maud Briggs? Or Robert jerk ms
Briggs? Or Henry Clay Briggs2
You take a turn or two up and
down the office] Or Martha w.
Claude Briggs? Or little Edgar
Allen Poe Briggs? You advance to
position as near behind her as po-
Likeness will permit(. Mrs, Minerva
Russell told me TO ask you for her
christian Expositor it amt come?
Why II always come on Tuesday!
What's the matter? Has there beeA
any railroad accident. or has the
printing Office burned down, or what
do you reckon it is? You look at
your watch again and conghl.
Here's newspaper. want TO send to
lady at Smyrna. Won't you please
fix it up for me ? Now direct il, please,
TO Mrs. Jane Barker, Smyrna, Ruth
erford county, Tennessee, care of
Is. r. Barker, Esq. I do write such
poor hand myself. You walk fiant-
ically TO the door, glover up the
street and walk frantically back].
believe I've got Il stamp somewhere y
and then she proceeds to deliberately
remove from her pockets gloves,
handkerchiefs, hair-pins. pin-cush-
ions, chewing wax, notes, etc., all OF
which she closely scrutinizcs in search
of the missing stamp. IL declare, |
did have stamp somewhere! It's
too bad, now, ain't it, to lpse it?'
Whereupon she goes through her
pockets a second time, and then sud
denly recollccts that she left it at
home in another dress. Then sne
rifles the pockets once more for Il
dime, aud after she has failed to find
it. takes itplacidly out Of her glove.
Give me three 3-cent stamps and u
1-cent.' She sticks the l.cent stamp
on the newspaper, and is info rned by
the clerk that il requires two cents.
"A two-cent stamp! A two-cent
stamp for newspaper? Why, the
law amt been changed, has it.'
[ You jerk off your hat aud run your
fingers through your hair aud gi'uan.
and wish you were in ten-acre lot,
and knew all the bad words in 442
languages.l Thenewspaper is finally
attended TO. and the little woman
asks the clerk if he won't be kind
enough TO write her note TO some
body in Punkapuk, Pa.,who offers
TO send twelve roses fort twenty-five
cents, at about which time you give
up IN despair, rush into a hack, and
II you reach the station in time TO
catch the train you are more fortu-
nate than was the worthy citizen yes
to-day. ..-....