The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-24
FAMILY JAR.


dlntAg-room enc nne mSrnlng ia sum
mer, totally infatuated with each other.
Never such happiness as theirs before.
The felicity of Adam and his lady be-
fore they made the acquaintance OF the
serpont was not to be mentioned IN the
same breath.
They kissed each other between
every cup of coffee, and embraced
twice-sometimes thriee-during every
meal. Just now they were speaking Of
disagreements. Some friends Of theirs
had fallen out, and refused to fall in
again.
ave will never fall out, viii we,
Phil, dear r asked Mrs. Fanny.
I" Disagree Will the heavens falli"
returned Phil.
"I sincerely hope not. 1t would be
decidedly disagreeable," " laughed Fanny.
''but If / thought we should ever quar-
rel and have harsh thoughts toward
each other, should be tempted to ter
inmate my existence
"My dearest Fanny" cried Phil,
spriNging up and upsetting the toast
plate on the carpet, Of which he was
Totally sblivious in his eagerness to get
his arms around Fanny" Ny foolish
little darling as if we should ever be
so absurd Ia kiss). May be drawn
and quartsred (another kiss) if | ever
speak one word that shall cause a tear
to fill the divine eyes Of my dearest Ia
third explosion) Fanny =
40, how happy you make me, Phil.
shall try so hard to be just the faith
full, loving wife you deserve. Now fin
ish your breakfast, deary. The toast
viii be growing cold. And o, Phil,
did YOU notice Mrs. Smiths hOrrid new
bonnet last night declare it de
stroyed all my pleasure in the music.
do wish people who wear such un.
tasteful bonnets would stay at home
from these delightful concerts 70
$50 do |, Fanny. l noticed the
ugly thing the moment we entered
the hall. Blue flowers and pink rib
boas, and she as dark as . Creole"
=" No, my love; the flowers were
green. Green and blue look so much
alike by gasiight." :"
al know they do, but l noticed it so
particularly that could not be deceiv-
ed. especially light blne-lOOks
fearfally on dark-complexioned wom-
an"
so it does, Phil; quite agree with
YOU, dear. But the flowers were not
blue, they were green l saw them 'at
8Trz. Gray's shop before they were pur-
chased"
" Ny dearest-Fanny of course you
think yourself right. love, but l have
very good eye for color, and noticed
these flowers with great attention.
Blue anemones with yellow centres"
'Green hibiscus with whitel centres,
my dear Phil. Very pretty for light
skinned woman, but horrid for a brvl-
netts."
"Why, Fanny, how absurd As il
1 could net determine colsr when
studied it half the evening"
"But it was by gaslight, my love
It would lock altogether different by
daylight. 1t was such pale green"
at was such pale blue. remem
Der I thought Of the sky before &
storm"
"And thought of the sea. 1t was
perfectly sea, green"
Why, Fsnny-ridiculOus. 1t was
sky-blue."
"Hew do you contradict me, mS
Philemon. II was very light green.
/" And / insist it was blue"
Do you mean 10 tell me ] lieT
81 mean to tell yOu you are mis-
taken"
(Which amounts 70 the same thing.
"You make the application, Mrs
Fanny Hayes"
l." Mr.. Philemon Hayes r
} Fanny"
: al say it was green, sir p
al say it was blue-so there =
"You are q wretch, Phil, res
mean, heartless wretch " and Fam
pushed back her plate angrily.
: "And you are an epinioned, ,self-wille
Il woman p and Phil, in his agitation
Il upset the coffee, scalding the cats bac
: and himself at the same time.
"The deuce p cried he, rubbing h
red fingers with his handkerchief. ="
wish had never seen woman "
'EWhats that, sirF
"ConfounA tho womenq They're
curse to the werldP'
- "You brute !" cried Mrs. Haye
now thoroughly ireensed /; stake that
r and seizing the plate of mullins, 81
L teok aim at Phil's head but, being
woman, her aim was not 80 accurate
it might have been, and the plate we
N through the window, smashing in d
ne tile Of Fitz John James, and the nat
y fms were scattered in wild cenfusi
abut the room. $3.50
Phil was indignant. He laid j
hand on the poker.
n, 80, strike !" exclaimed Fanny. /"
will only be in place with your 9th
% =: conduct. Don't let any notions
henor restrain you, because yOu ne'
had any
Fanny, beware, you try me t
far"
n "IIl 20 home TO pa, that W
You inhuman monster you-I'll be
N vorced from you this very day.
there r and the platter of ham made
journey after the mullins.
ns Just at that moment Pills Un
- John, shrewd old fellow, appeared
the scene. He surveyed the gr7
with an anxious twinkle of the eye.
M whats the mattsr, FannyP Al
thing gone wrengf he inquired.
"Gone wrong! Matter enoul
q o, Uncle John, he's wretch, and