St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-07-11
The Lightning-Rod Dispenser.
A FARM BALLAD.


me one day,
With poem in his notions with sermon in his
mien,
With hands as white as lilies, and face uncom-
mon clean.
No wrinkles had his vestments, and his linen giist
ened white,
And his new constructed necktie was an interest |
ing sight;
Which 1 almost wished his razor had made red
that white-skinned throat
And the new-constructed necktie had composed
hangmans knot,
Ere he brought his sleek trimmed carcass for my
women folks to see,
And his rip-saw tongue buzzin' for to gouge
cash in me.
But couldn't help but like him-as always think
must
The gold of my own doctrines in fellow heap Oh
dust;
When 1 fred my own opinions at this person.
round by round,
They drew an answering volley. of very similar
sound;
1 touched him on religion, and the hopes my heart
had known;
He said he'd had experiences quite similar of his
| own.
1 told him of the doubtin's that made dark my
i carry years.
He had laid awake till morning with that same old
| breed of fears.
1 told him of the rough path hoped to heaven to
He was on that very ladder only just round be-
1 told him of my visions of the sinfulness of gain
He had seen the selfsame picters though not quite
so clear and plain.
Our politics was different, and at first he CALLED
and WINGED;
But arg'ed him so able, he was very soon con-
vinced.
1t was getting towards the middle of a hungry
summers day;
There was dinner on the table, and asked him
would he stayF
And he sat down among us, everlasting trim and
neat
And asked a short, crisp blessing, almost good
enough to eat;
Then he fred up on the merces of our great eter-
nal Friend,
And gave the Lord Almighty a good, frst-class
recommend;
And for full an hour we listened to the sugarcoat
ed scamp,
Talking like blessed angel-eating like blasted
tramp.
Ny wife, she liked the stranger, smiling on hin
warm and sweet
t Qt always flatters women, when their guests arr
on the eat),
And he limited that some ladies never lose thei
early charms
And kissed her latest baby, and received it in hi
> arms.
t. My sons and daughters like him, for he had pre-
/ gressive views,
And chewed the quid of fancy, and gave down tn
And 1 couldn't help but like him, as fear a
ways must,
Ii The gold of my doctrines, in a fellow-heap Q
dust.
He was spreading desolation through piece @
apple pie,
When he paused and looked upon US with tear
IT his of-eye,
Il And said, ''Oh, happy family hieasins
= - sad
You call to mind the dear ones that in happier day
Ihad;
A wife as sweet as this one; babe as bright an
fair;
little girl with ringlets, like that ther,
e I worshipped them too blindly! my eyes with lov
were dimi
ID God took them to his own heart. and now wo
,e ship Him;
But had not neglected the means within my wa.
sc Then they might still be living and loving me Il
D day.
peals were dire;
20 The clouds that tramped above were shoOtin
bolts of fire;
In my own house, l. lying, was thinking to m
= blame,
How little had guarded against those shafts
er flame,
!" When crash Through roof and ceiling the dead
i'd lightning cleft,
And killed my wife and children, and only W,
u u left
"a Since that dread time I've wandered and naugl
b. for life have cared,
OF Save to others loved ones, whose lives ha,
er er yet been spared;
Since then, it is my mission, whereer by sorro
h. tossed,
= To sell to virtuous people good lightning rods
d. cost.
b. With sure and strong protection I'll clothe yo,
~ ~ buildings DER,
i. Twill cost you fifty dollars (perhaps trfe more
u What little else it to at lowest price I'll pu
~ you signing this agreement to pay so much p
foot)."
TX signed it, while my family all approving sto'
q q about;
es And dropped tear upon it-(but didn't blot
T. outD
s. 5 That very day with wagons came some men bo
s. great and small;
IT. They climbed upon my buildings just as if tn,
D. owned 'em all;
a. They hacked 'em, and they hewed em, mu,
against my loud desires;
IL They trimmed 'em with their gewgaws, and tn,
ed bound 'em down with wires;
lg They trimmed em and they wired 'em, and thu
trimmed and wired em still
he And every precious minute kept running up t
ed bill.
,c Ny soft-spoken guest a-seeking did I al
ur rush ard rum
He supping with a neighbor, Just three mi
rs 'Do you think, iercely shouted, that want
rs To each separate hay-cock out oheaven's &C
Is, suming fire;
vs. Do you think to keep my buildings safe from sol
pa pa uncertain harm,
S I'm going to deed you over all the balance of I
farm7"
for He looked up quite astonished with face dew
~" of guile,
ept And he pointed to the contract with reassuri
Is smile;
via 1t was the first occasion that he disagreed with
de- But he held me to that paper with frmness sad
in see;
sco And for that thunder story ere the rascal fna
went
. paid two hundred dollars if paid a single cen
And if any hghtnin,r ,rodder wants a dinner d
logue
With the restaurant department of an enterprisi
ID, dog,
Let him set his mill a runnin' just inside nv O
side gate,
And I'll bet two hundred dollars that he wo
co. ro;k