The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1879-10-29
Justice i'm "A Qaandary.
HOW THE CHANGES ON SLANG Puzn.ED the JEr-
PERSON MAKKEr MAGISTRATES.


The envoy that came from Patsy Burns
saloon yesterday to getlo out warrant Tor its pro-
pretor was hoarse, squat, and bnll-necked. He
leaned across the bar Of the jefferson Market
Court aud whispered con6dentially -" Say.
Jedge. Patsy Burns wants 10 shut down on
kid that's been skinning him."
A kid skiuning him! Impossible" said
bis Honor. Where is the animal =
He's young rooster" the applicant went
on what dishes out The boose IN Patsy's drum"
His Honor looked perpexed. Oh, its
poultry you're complaining about" be remarked
Il thought you said il was Il kid just now. Well,
what of tbe roOster?'
The applicant took u good long look at his
Honor. and tumbled his lat lining nervously.
1'hen he began again with an air submissive, but
reproachinl.
Say, Jedge, don't you play me. I'm givin'
it to you straight houot bright. Patsy ieels
dead sore over the thing and wants the young
terrier hauled up before you.
The Judge dropped his eyeglasses helplessly
Look here, my friend" he hlurted out, If you
come here to complain about whole menagerle,
say so: but this parade of flesh aud fowl is dis
tracing. Let US understand each other. Kid,
rooster, or ,dog-is Patsy's trouble with one or
allg'
The applicant looked about HIM hopelessly.
| Then he said :
"Jedge, this looks like dead open and shut.
You don't seem to tumble me at all. Here's the
scheme There's jiggsr behind Patsy's bar
that's crooked, uud he wants him taken in.
See p
"Oh. Patsy has q saloon. 1t is the person
who dispenses the beverages he has trouble
with
That's the racket Jsdge," and the applicant
stamped with delight. You've got IT dead to
rights. You see. Patsy sets this bloke IN his
shebang u sending along the old stuff and every
thing goes hunkee,doree ill he sees his nibs
sporting super and logged out to the Queen
taste. Well Patsy's poorly fly, he is, and he
and to-day be catched him working the damper.
Working the damper 7"
"Yes, eoIlaring the DOODLE"
"Collsring the -. My friend, for Heaven:
sake, be explicit, his Honor moaned. What
do you mean y
The applicant turned the quid in his mouth
over aud over again despondenly. bat made NJ
reply. AT last be blurted out IN despsir-
Hang it Jedge- It's clear enough. He was
tapping The I'LL"
Tapping the till p and his Honor paused IL
reflect. Then his lace frightened up. "Ah.
see,' he SAID. lie was appropriating the re
/
seuee."
That's the talk" roared the applicant. =" Ap
propriatn' the receipts is the go. You've go
it down fine. Jedge That's what Inc codge
did-appropriated Patsy Burns receipts. 81
Patsy sent me round to see rs ii you wouldn'
give him the collar and make him produce
He's bad lot, he is, and you ought to give hiu
q stretch"
What ?" cried his Honor, would you be ST
barbarous as to have me hang the man? p
Who's talkin' of hangingY' asked the other
What said is he ought to get nip"
Get nipi"
Yes, go up the river"
81 see, see" groaned the justice. go t,
Sing Sing. My friend we will try to accommo
date you. But this conversation is trying to
man of my constitution. 60 to Patsy Burns
; beg you. Tell him to bring his grievance her
in person. and for Heavens sake let him bring
little of the vernacular along"
, The applicant bowed his head sullenly.
Maybe you're right, Jedge," said he san
maybe you amt but it does seem rough on
citizen and taxpayer if he can't get justice unles
he's swallowed large dictionary and cramme
down jawbreakers fit to burst him. So long.
And he stalked gloomiiy away in quest OF Pats
Burns.-New York Herald.