The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1879-09-11
AN OLD MANS RUSE.

~, McuOCy. pUlut tQat scene again!
AN OLD MANS RUSE.
The Story Of Baron and His Nephew.
A notable German Baron was Adolphe
Won Hclmsted-a kind-hcarted merry
little man, who laughed from morning
till night, and whose mirth was so con-
tagious that all within the sound and in
fluence Of it laughed also. The baron
had fair castle, with deep, thick woods
surrounding it, and he could stand on a
high hill near, and all the land which his
eyes beheld was the Baron Won Helm
sted's own. Scores of horses stamped in
his stables, packs CT hounds roamed
through his grounds, and the baron's
purse was as deep, full and untathonable
as Rosalind declareth is the Bay of Bis
cay. There was no wife to sound her
shrlll pipes in his ear; there were no
children to tear and rend lis heart. No!
a happy, care-frec bachelor was he, and
such would he have lived and died ,smok-
ing his pipe on the cushion of content
ment, and at last slept peacefully and
quietly in his grave, as all his fathers did,
had it not been for certain Ernest Won
Helmsted, who had the honor to be-the
baron's nephew.
Now this nephew Ernest was certainly
not the kind of character that appears on
the stage and in novels and romances, in
martial, staggering attitude, breaking
fathers, guardians, and loving kinsman' 5
hearts. Dame Margery, the crossest of
women, who held the housekeeping KEYS
at the castle, lifted up her hands and
eyes at the mention Of his name, and de-
clarcd, "a kind, swcct-spoken, and civil
gentleman is Master Ernest Won Helm
sted.' Many a gentle, pretty maiden had
rested her bright eyes approvingly upon
him, sighed, and murmured, "A right
handsome, noble, gallant-looking youth
is Master Won Helmsted.' The ruling
authorities at divers universities all had
written, Brave, strong-hearted, wise and
learned, an honor to his blood and his
race, is Master Ernest Won Helmsted."
And tho baron, as he was suffered to win
game after game Of backgammon in the
long winter evenings; and the baron, as
he listed to merry conceits and quaint
old stories; and the baron, as he held the
strong arm which night after night made
the ascent up the old staircase easy, &C.
knowledgcd, with tears in his eyes and a
swelling at his heart, IA kind, gentle,
loving nephew is this nephew Of mine,
this Ernest Won Helmsted.'
Yet was this same Ernest the thorn in
the merry old gentleman's flesh which
checked the sound Of his laughter for full
half an hour at time, and composed
his countenance to most sad and mel
ancholy aspect, while the clouds of blue
smoke floated in fantastic, dreamy
wreaths around his head. All this be.
cause the wolshipful Master Ernest to-
tally refused to enter the holy estate of
matrlmony-would as soon have behcld
his satanic majesty as anything in the
shape OF petticoat, and crossed himself
involuntarily whenever he CHANGED to en-
counter pair OF large dark eyes. The
reasons for which remarkable ooliquity
in Master Ernest being, first, that he was
Interestingly modest and dif1ident. Sec
ondly and lastly, he was somewhat 1ndo.
lent, somewhat melancholy, and loved
nothing better than roaming through the
woods, peopling every tree with harma.
dryads and fauns, and dreaming Of farics
and mysterious influences with perhaps
pale. slender, wlllowy heroines, halt
vapor, with not sensation in common
with the vanity-loving world. The Baron
Won Hclmsted talked, and the Baron
Won Helmsteo ore, and exerted all the
cloqu'nce with which nature had gifted
him, which, sooth to say, was not a
superabundent quantity. and all to no
urposc.
His nephew listened at first with
amazement. then With WEAKNESS, and at
length, after two or three years had pass
ed, and the lectures were not d1scontin.
ued, grew horribly indignant thereat. and
would rush forward into the woods to e.
cape, where with his nymphs and dryads,
he soon got calm again. At last the baron
hit upon desperate expcdient. He
applied to female relative, and she, with
some three or four damsels, to give Mas
ter Ernest a fair field for choice. came
and took up her abode at the castle.
Heavens! what siege the poor baron
ad. Dame Margery went almost fran.
tic with rage at this unheard of innova-
tion on her territories, and her detestable
voice sounded in his ears from morn,np
till night. The ladies, too, with their
maids and their toilets, their nicities and
their frivolities, their airs and their min
auderies, turned the whole house topsy-
turvey, and confusion rcigned from one
end to the other thereof As for Master
Ernest, who was the prime cause and
mover, although the most innocent and
unwilling one of all this hubbub-Master
Ernest entirely evacuated the premises.
and fled to the woods, where he took up
his abode entirely with his fauns and
nymphs, satyrs and hobgoblins. At
length the female relative and her retinue
(perceiving how useless was the taskI
grew weary of the dreary old castle. and
the poor afflicted baron could not sun
press sigh of relief as the gates closed
upon them one fine summers morning.
The nephew returned, the cross house.
keeper grew quite amiable, and the
Baron Won Helmsted for a time ap-
peared to surrender himself to an inevi-
table destiny.
But again he evinced signs OF restless.