The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1879-07-29

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lcons Axs Lss 70 Aii sraAscs.l
W uosh-r-iu.lav'. goae IN Sssislia,
AID Dels ~ ala0e Tor . week
Theseis peace ~ the h0ss.s 9th Adslia
Sisce the old lady's curious freak
HE siRked vish sriisf-vhaa pity
Wkea she I~il ~ all tender snd lrue,
AID sloprd 10 that u0adesful city
To run J. West G001uiu's RA1o0.
X c, Jausai
Your moahes-ia lsv came 70 Sedalia,
Bot never 10 run Tie BA100;
Theses . corner los here Tor Adrlia-
A piece in the poor hou.e tor you.
The old vo0anis hsed II quite level.
And she told % this thing ve nuss write:
rhss your Plsce might 30 10 The devil.
This town Pieass her very nuch-quise.
III easten are vosn, il = inpostast 10
kaov bov 10 apply them With the Iease sisk
u harm.
Weli.hsv would TOW ssring srousd The
vaisl-os too strings run up and tied
around The canon have . hole in The top
Of The stocking in which lady could in
sest 6ngrr Of each hand and hold 'e0 up
- they valked-M-oa. Eosh ding IL! juss
svisa up the tip end turn 'em in - your
ooshen did. Bisss the Karten!
TIL. !. the way Chicago sppsopsisiss
Je1enoa City item sud changes the name
of the town:
A Chicago mans nightmare turned ont
70 be the ahsd0v of hIs viies Gsnss On the
bed room wall, in-tesd Of nm mccarthy
monster With 6ve horns.
"A fst French woman desp isiagly aays:
Il so 20 fat that pray lor . disapPoios-
mens 20 make ne thin. No sooees dos the
diasppo:nt0eat coase then The mere exprc-
saiioH III eroving thinner gives ne such
joy that grow fstier Than ever"
Come right here. fat woman! Take this
pencil, ihst paste pat. those ~lsearr. We
want 10 70 out in the country for three
weeks. When ve coae bsck. il you sint -
dod.blassed Thin ,hst every budy can sre
your breskfsss, ne will stand on our hesd
On Sicher's Dag sisH and kick The planet Of
Jupiter clean through ,he milky gay.
"A girl vent hack On her bov-lexeed
beau because she said she 'iidn'I like IN
waltz ID brackets"
And be rssorted BY swearing be wouldn't
fool vi,6 On inverted excl.na,ion poin, in
Psrenshesis.
-Susss B. An,hoey says shst The night
vess made Tor Cats. osla. and bed hu.bsnds.
Because che has to 90 TO bed si dark
With soihiex but the picture Of Grorse
Washington in the room. does che imagi"r
sensible women will do likev:se?
-S<dslis i n have STATE Teops.scs
Coaveniiun. roooeneing July q. Mug"
lives in that v,ll.ge.-N Joe Nesa
Ye., you bet. And IL yoa want 10 ~
The .hosrible example" bosieess, just dep
shis vsy. whoopee! Set EN- un ssiil
once @crr again.
When Paul Boyion i nssri~s; and
arsiled. things will go On sviooingiy vith
him.
No good. Hes got too u.~d TO lying a"
his bscx.
Why u il thst vOong man can ~ .
pspsiy girl . block "a. and often lsiis Z.
soisce m cd v"msn until be has cs.lIisial
With lsrs EIoknSe.
Il IL the pover 81 attraction. Eas yo''
bet IL the old woman il his landIsdy. and
b oses her SIS IS. he cen re her shsr~
niIes ed half I'd. ihoash she cant ~
him once in three weeks. With sl,eeiscles
"A Fost scnsi nan = getting up ii.
sect0sy. They shsckle boih hin lses after
DARK. and make him pay three mosils u
advssce tos bosrd. .a...-
-Dr. Mary Walker waxes hes nustache.
4arakaI hoTR.
Hos do you ksos! Did yoa ever aee
Mary OF her nosssehe? The oaly thing
Mary vsxes 10 IN editor OCCASIONALLY.
They do say she cen light . match On her
bssrchr' just like . man. tboash.
"A New York msa refused 10 busy his
wife beesuee slse coo0itied suicide. This
l. perfectly right No vooan hes . right
to kill hessrlf. much les Piusse her hos.
bassl Into ss expense Of $3.50 without
WasuiaR. He'd ahe beea n econO0ical
wife she would have js0ped iseo . vell
asd pulled The we'll in o. Top Of hes-0rss
rswoviag The buckets.
The vohesvomsa a to-day bang
sAirs o. he line JUS the way Q Uashvo~.s
did When sscieas Troy - IN hss glory.
No she doa't either. She holds % extra
clothes pin between her fslse ieesh, ard -
shs stands On up-sos to reach Up. yoa css
- thss she vean striped ssockiaes v,lh .
doe string garter. The osly thiag that NJ
seobass Tie sneieei Troy woman b he
hoie ia The heel Of the ssocting. LIS the
sa0e old kind Of hole.
-0absisl hD got . sev paslses. o.
ssssrrscsioa morn thas ioG-hoss Of "Ri-e-
up Wslliao Allea" vill make tie angel.
thisk another csreus be- struck Tie toes.
Tho lsdisa Of Cisciaaati have rsrolvea,
- it vsse. to sis upoe Tie top 81 the chin
~ until The smoke saisasoe = ahsissi.
Ths ladis Of Cinciaassi eaa &c ~ chim-
sey tops il they vast 10, bot - ksos that
IL . esstass oss - rusaisg ihs cook Stove
With siaas posdss. l. voold b . aso.ih o.
too bejoss they would as o ssythiaG.
"A Poet ID ths Whissball Tina ~
eaaios: Il - hssssad, vsssdly hsusssd,
b ~ dsipPisG 81 ths rsia."