The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-11-05
NOVEMBER 5
VARIETIES.

inquire up very lhslSuln0an0
There is young lady on Ollve
street who follows the fashion so
closely that she will not eat oysters
unless they are scalloped.-&' Los''S
Spirit.
"My good woman" said an evangel,
ical caller, "have you got the gospel
here ?'' mo, sir we haven't replied
the old crone, "but they got it awful
down to Memphis. :"
"See here, Jones, why don't you
fence in your premises ?" "Oh, there
is no need of it, SO long as my wite's
a-railing around the house, is there Z"
YopkerS Gazette
The finest tusk ever seen in Eng
land is the one sent by Cetywayo to
Lord Chelmsford, to express his wish
for peace. 1t is seven feet in length,
and half yard at the broadcast part
A Philadelphia Presbyterian min
lister remarks: mo man of greatness
of mind has ever been a dancer" It
don't seem to strike him that man
might get more fun out OF dancing
than by having greatness Of mind, i.
He had all auburn haired girl, and
promised to take her out riding, She
met him at the door when he drove
up, and he exclaimed "Hello,
Ready ?" She misunderstood him,
and they don't speak now. oa0
johnny said a fond mother to
her boy, (which would you rather do,
speak French OF Spanish 7" II would
rather" said Johnny, rubbing his
waistband and looking expressively
at the table, would rather talk
Turkey" eun 'i
1t is common practice for people,
through ignorance of the law, when
sending postal cards to write part OF
the letter on the face of the card.
nothing but the address should be
written there, else five cents will be
collected by the postofice on delivery.
There is village in New Hamp-
shire which has produced twenty-six
editors. 1t was in allusion to this
circumstance that pious deacon re-
marked eyes, there are twenty six
of EN-, but as they've all left the town
reckon, the Lord won't lay it up
against us."-Peaoee Methodist.
L v-Geesse- p.s.-ss,s.. sysrsss old. His
mother had undressed him for bath
before putting him to bed. AS soon
as he stood before her he said: "Now,
mamma Pm kid" eyes, dear" said
she. "You know what kind OF kid
l am, mamma p mo, darling"
"Well, na-kid." His mother thinks
that is good tor kid of his age.
When the batteries at Montretrout
were Smelling the communists " in
Paris, M. Theirs trequented the spot,
encouraging the sailors that manned
them. AS he was talking there one
evening, the thunder of big gun
fired Just beside him made him Jump
The commander apologized and said:a
'This noise must annoy YOU" mot
at all,7 replied M. Theirs, ''it's rather
soothing compared with the Assem-
bly, Debates Ae re1m
A gentleman sent his Irish servant
up TO his room Tor a pair OF boots,
and at the same time told him to be.
sure and get mates, as there were
two pairs in the closet, Patrick re-
turned with two boots, but odd ones
| why, don't you see that these are
not alike-one is long top and the
other short one ?" said the gentle
man, out of patience with the fellow.
"Bedad, your honor" said Pat in
apology, "and it's true tor ye; but
thin the other pair was jist so, too !"
A clergyman sat i'll his study busily
engaged on his sermon, when his lit
tie boy toddled into the room, and
holding up his pinched finger said
''Look, pop; how l hurt IT." The
father glanced hastily, and with just
the slightest tone OF lmpatience said,
Il can't help it, sonny" The little
fellows eyes grew bigger, and, as he
turned to 60 out, he said in low
voice, eyes you could; you might
have said Obi" There was a ser
mon in miniature.
He is very small boy, just beyond
the limits OF babyhood. His preco-
ciousness is well recognized by those
that know him, and sometimes peo-
pie try to corner him in logical way.
The other day some one took him up
and asked him if he was papa's boy.
He answered "Y es." "And are you
mammals boy, too ?" Eyes" replied
Charlie. 'sW ell, how can you be papa's
boy and mammals boy both AT the
same time ~ was asked him. "Oh,"