The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1879-11-13
Post Office Curiosities.

There are great many people IN all
parts of the country who seem to be
firmly impressed with the idea that post
masters, and others connected with the
post office, should at all times, and under
all circumstances; hold themselves in
readiness to act as general agents for the
public. Indeed, there seems to be a
wide spread impression, particularly In
the remote interior districts, that a
postmaster, in addition to all his other
duties, should act as a sort OF walking
directory and universal giver of advice.
Nor is he thanked for any efforts which
he may make to meet the public require
ment. On the contrary, in nine cases
out of ten, if he attempts in good faith
to answer some of the many questions
put to him by unreasonable correspond
ents, he need not be surprised if he is
rouudly abused for his lack of detail and
the brevity of his communication. In
fact, it has grown to be proverb in the
New York post Office that all mad men
and women in the country have personal
grievances against Postmaster James or
some of his efficient and hard worked
assistants For instance, it is no I'M
common occurrence for some harmless,
but none the less tiresome, lunatic to
take UP his or her stand beside the desk
of busy superintendent and go into an
elaborate and detailed history of dark
and of course imaginary, conspiracy en-
tered into by letter carriers and clerks
for the suppression or destruction of
correspondence involving immense sums
of money and the happiness OF many de-
serving people. From long experience
the unfortunate officers who have to do
with the class of visitors described have
discovered that the only way to get rid
of them is to take copious notes of the
astonishing revelation contained In their
narratives, express consternations at the
wickedness of the clerks and carriers,
and promise close investigation and then
swift punishment of those engaged in
the conspiracy. These assurances having
been given, the class of visitors referred
to usually go away satisfied that they
are in fair way of having justice done
them. In due time, however they
nearly always return with such additions
AMI alterations to their stories as further
thought may have suggested.
Still another class of harmless mad
men who give the post office employees
great trouble, is made up of quite a
numerous company of gentlemen who
are filled with mysterious plans for the
improvement of the postal service. 1t
was only last week that one of these I'M
fortunates-a very we'll dressed, well
spoken, and respectable looking old man
--gravely assured the postmaster that he
had been "magnetized by the angels and
had acquired tho power of swift and In
visible areal flight" This power he pro
posed to utilize in the conveyance of the
mails. He was informed with as much
seriousness rs possible that because OF
"a lack of appropriations most con-
venient and much employed excuse -
that his valuable service could not be
secured He seemed to be very much
surprised at this, and left the Office de
clarinc that he would see the authrities
in Washington about it.
Still another class of post office heroes
who are, perhaps, not classed among the
lunatics, are those who insist upon forcing
spiritual advice upon employees, and
making minute inquiries regarding the
religious belief of themselves and their
families One of these good people-a
maiden lady of uncertain age, who drops
down suddenly upon some overworked
box clerk or other accessible officer
very disagrceable habit of saying, in a
very melancholy tone, "Well, l called to
pay my respects. l see you're here yet;
are you prepared TO go| 1t is some
what remarkable that the lady never
waits for an answer to this question, so
,,istasteful to on Office holder. Having
asked it, she departs at once, without ex-
planning whether the preparation she
seems so anxious about is for another
world or merely for some sphere OF
earthly usefulness other than the postal
service.
The humors of delivery window at
the post office are almost endless Some
DAYS ago, for instance, very pompous-
looking person came to the foreign win
dow, and asked
"What steamer sails for Germany to-
morrow p
"Donau, Sir, replied the clerk in a
hurry.
.\ro, don lnor ?" pxrlaimci the