Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1879-03-21
GENERAL NOTES.
The Lentcu days to all do tell
OF winter on last legs,
OF prayers that on the ether swell,
Of higher price on eggs.


OF prayers that on the ether swell,
OF higher price on eggs.
The ceremony of baptism by immersio
was celebrated in western Texas the othe
| day, and when the fourteen candidates walk
ed down to the water fifteen revolyers wer
deposited on the bank of the stream, that c
the preacher making the fifteenth. Any on
could have been sent to heaven on short nc
tice if so desired.
An exchange notes the fact that there ar
other fields of ambition for young womel
than walking quarter-miles ins quarter-hours
and points TO the record OF Connection
girl who achieved five divorces in five con
secutive quarter-years and she Is still II
good condition.
fashion item says Skating costume
reach to the top of tine boot" If the cos
tunes referred to commence at the neck ant
run down it is all right but if they begin a
the foot and extend up, ladies will do vel
not to wear such costume on ice until abou
the first of July Norristown Herald.
The editors of the Hannibal Courier ant
the Hannibal Clipper stepped over on to ont
of the Mississippi islands the other morning
to revel in each others gore. 1t is not de
veloped which of the two paid for the COW
that was found dead shortly subsequent te
the meeting. [St. Louis Times
cARcASEr
| Not what the chemists say they be
Are pearls-they never grew
They come not from the hollow sea,
They come from heaven IN dew
Down in the Indian sea 1t slips.
Through green and briny whirls,
Where great shells catch 1t In their lips
| And kiss 1t into pearls
If dew can be SO beauteous made,
Oh, why not tears, nv girl
Why not your tears Pe not a.raid-
| do but Kiss pearl.
| A remarkable corn cob over a foot long and
| of the small circumference that indicates a
| large grained variety OF corn has been re-
ceived at the dead letter office. 1t was sent
| to Massachusetts paper by Kansas grang-
er, who made the postage on his package in
| sufficient by scribbling on it the following
| explanatory note: In Kansas We fatten
our purp on the corn, and then We use these
| cobs for stove-wood to roast the purp with ;
and thus in our prairie homes we make both
ends meet (meat?). In favorable seasons one
stalk has n little gourd of shelled corn grow
ing on it for chickens.-[w Washington Star.
Here is test of age or rather proof of
| youth. Ii person has smooth brows and
crows feet about the eyes, the latter do not
denote old age. rs many suppose, but they
are the result OF sleeping on the side. This
| q German physician Of great renown has dis
covered. The pressure upon the temple and
cheeks leaves wrinkles at the corners and un-
derneath the eyes which disappear in few
hours, but finally become so fixed that neith-
er hours nor ablutions will abate them. If
girl children were compelled to sleep on
| their backs and continued the habit when
they reached womanhood and afterward, they
would arrive at middle lite without crows
feet gathering in the neighborhood of the
eyes, and in most cases their foreheads would
be free from even shallow burrows. Import
Mt, if true.
What's sauce for the goose" Passenger
lin second class Il think I've got into
the wrong carriage" Ticket inspector (stern-
ly): The difference must be paid ~ Pas
senger (triumphantly) ''Oh, just SO Then
I'll trouble you for three shillings I've a
first-class ticket ~
A little boy ran away from home, and while
enjoying him self in forbidden fields
thunderstorm came up, and it began to hail.
His guilty conscience needed no accuser.
Running home he burst into the presence of
his astonished mamma, exclaiming breath
lessly Ma, ma Gods frowing stones at
me -
In one of the Detroit schools the other day
NluSS III I@ukllsA AlblOll "tlt btiuB HutS-
toned by the teacher, about Henry VIII,
and she finally asked did Anne of Cleves.
Henrys fourth wife, die natural DEATH"
There was an awful silence for half a minute,
and then one miss stammored out NO,
ma am-she was divorced"
We fancy that distillers are not very good
at repartee, because they always pay some
body for making their retorts.-[New Ysrk
Express.
Says Bill to Amos viii you take some
thing" Says Amos to Bill 4: "Well, /
don't know. l never drink, that is, hardly
-" Amos was shot.
Madame X. ran away. Monsieur had o
great idea. He announced that he had won
80, 600 francs in the lottery, and behold.
madame returned TO his loving arms.
Apretty girl won musket in the lottery.
When they gave it to her, she asked Don't
they give soldier with it?'
On the boulevard: ''You look sad p
"have you not heard" NO" My wife
has been taken away" Mine also, a month
ago" at was cold in the chest 'In the
case of my wife it was the coachman."
A Nevada girls love letter Dear jim
my Its all up. We amt going to get
married. Ma says you're too rough, and l
guess she's right. I'm so sorry-but can't
you go to Europe and get filed down."
A young man who had scarcely known a
ady three days went to her father TO ask her
in marriage. Il should like" said the lover,
IAN answer tomorrow" "Well, my boy, l
don't like to hurry up such matters-say day
after tomorrow, was the reply he received.
Once they started girls seminary in
Utah. 1t fourished well 4; but just in the
heighth Of its prosperity, the principal eloped
with the whole school.
The inhabitants of Madagascar are dying
TO get hold Of an American ship-captain who
has sold them ten thousand quart cans of
tomatoes as a new kind of gunpowder. Their
old blunderbusses wouldn't go of.
To be master in his own hOuse.-A hus-
band, who had very wicked wife, was often
il-used by her, even to the extent of being
badly whipped. His friends who knew those
facts told him not to stand such treatment,
but to show himself master of the situation,
which he solemnly promised to them. One
day it again happened that his wife was SO
enraged that he had to seek shelter beneath
his bed. In this moment the wife heard the
footsteps of her husbands friends upon
which she cordially asked him to come out
of his hiding place-but he recollecting what
he had promised to his friends cried ont
No | won't come out will show you and
the whole world that am the master in this
house