Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-08-06

tA0 CoilOS0 Oo1t-IHCeS nave D0gun,
and we shall now see the result of the
winters hard study.
When poor shot fires at target he
Is supposed to invoke the aid of heaven
to ''save the mark"
A druggist advertises "Red lavend-
er." This must be the cred cent" we
hear quoted sometimes.
The man with diamond stud never
wears lambrequin shirtcover scarf
unless his shirt is in the wash.
Good housekeepers hate 10 put off
wash-day. With them it is "soap de-
ferred that maketh the heart sick"
Crusty says that the list of marriages
in the newspapers ought be be put
under the head of "Ring Frauds"
What makes most women wild is to
wait for the postman half an hour, and
then see him walk by indifferently.
"a fellow feeling makes us wondrous
kind" But a fellow feeling for our
pocket book makes us wondrous mad.
when a man puts an innocent hen
to work over porcelain egg, is he set
ting. that hen good egg-sample Pr
It1Ed0efOila0 BUltftlD.
And now the weeds and the bugs look
up to the diligent agriculturist and cry:
Give u5 no more of this hoe-cuss-
poke-us business"
Yes" said Mrs. Goodington, "the
place Is SO sequestrated that we are
annoyed by stray predestinations
ana people of that sort"
have culled few flowers for you,
Louise" said the Duke of Argyle, as
he handed her bouquet; and she re-
sponded. "You McCullom More!"
eyes," said Texas lawyer who was
defending a murderer, "the prisoner at
the bar will prove an alibi. Gentlemen,
we shall prove that the murdered man
wasn't there"
A correspondent asks: "What is the
price of soups in tin cans ?" We don't
know, but the price of supe in a tin
helmet is about rs cents night. Ap-
ply at the stage door.
Cotton materials for dresses have
scarcely any dressing this season, so
that they require very little starch when
washed.
1t is a beautiful sight 70 get up early
in the morning and see the sun rise, but
the wise man will continue to1ie abed
until the atmosphere is charged with
the aroma of the breakfast coffee.
A gentleman being asked whether he
was seriously injured when a steam
boiler exploded, is said to have replied
that he was SO used TO being blown up
by his wife that mere steam had no eff
feet on him.
There was much sound palpable ar
gument in the speech of a country lad
to an idler who boosted his ancient fam
lily. $50 much the worse for you" said
the peasant; ''as we ploughmen say.
the older the seed the worse the CROP"
byron, my son." said a literary fa-
Their to his athletic son-"Byron never
played base ball." "No," said the boy,
putting on his orange-colored shirt;
land George Washington never wrote
poetry" Here the morning hour ex-
pred, and the bill went over.
A man in New York, convicted of
mailing an improper publication, has
been sentenced to thirteen months in
the Albany penitentiary and fined 5000.
Ed. At last the fellow who sends us
every six months circular offering $50
piano for 800 cash and 500 advertis-
ing has been brought to justice.
There's bound to be trouble in this
country yet. They are Taunton Massa-
chusetts and Macon Georgia mad
Bamdehe. And South Carolina aiken
for another whipping Philadelphia Bull
nd "ICaooc,y N1I
hen, and even little Rhode Island is be-
ginning to Bristol up.-Bostora Post.
STERN, GUT TRUE.-"Young man."
said stern old professor to a student
who had been charged with kissing one
of his daughters-''young man, don't
get into that habit. You'll find that
kissing is like eating soup with fork"
"How so, sir?" BECAUSE" answered
the stern old professor, "you can't get
enough of it."
A San Francisco genius named How
land has invented machine designated
to tell approximately the amount of
gold a person has about him; but in
perfecting his device he has entirely ex-
hausted his resources, and it is truly
pitiful to hear him Rowland rave be-
cause he has no money with which to
test it.
"Time and the world were slipping
from beneath him. He's going out
with the tide. y X And, it being
low water, he went out with the tide. "
Ibid, chap. 80.
"Don't cry! Is my chair there, in its
old place? X = That face so full
of pity and grief that would appeal to
me, that solemn hand appraised toward
heaven! It is over.'-I6id., chap. So.
'One new mound was there, which
had not been there last night. Time,
burrowing like mole below the ground,
had marked it's track by throwing up
another heap of earth" -Martin Gbus-
sleauit, chap. 49,.
"She was dead. No sleep so beauti-
full and calm, so free from trace of pain,
so fair to look upon. She seemed
creature fresh from the hand of God
and waiting for the breath of life, not
one who lived and suffered death. She