Connecticut western news., 1879-05-21
WIT AND WISDOM.

When mother grasps fine comb and calls her child, narrowing scene generally follows.
 Limit your expenses to necessity and comfort, leaving good margin for "balance saved"
 Tt is possible for three people to keep the same secret, but only after two of them are dead.
 How sure it is that if we say true word, instantly we feel it is Gods, not ours, and pass it on.
 The gilded calf, having wealth without soul, finds more worshlppers to- day than in the days of Moses.
 Fancy rules over two-thirds of the universe, the past and the future, while reality is confined in the present.
 Whether he is great or small, set that man down for fool who boasts that he does not read the local papers.
 Domestic rule is founded upon truth and love. If it has not both of these, it is nothing better than u6SpOuoAus
 He whose only claim to the title of gentleman is in his clothes, must necessarily be careful as to what he wears.
 The voice of conscience is 50 delicate that it is easy to stihe it, but it IS also so clear that it is impossible to mis- take it. ..r" A man need never be in hurry to get angry, for if he waits long enough he will have as many opportunities as he wants.
 According to the avowal of dis tinguished naturalist, cat on a back yard fence can distinctly produce all of the vowel sounds.
 An apothecary asserted in large company "that all bitter things were hot" "No," replied physician, "a bitter cold day is an exception"
 -"You want hogging-that's what you want" said parent to an unruly son. "I know it, dad, but I'll try to get along without it, ," said the independ- ent hopeful.
 If the devil has fair chance at you once he will be sure to look your way
 again. There is an old proverb to the
 effect that when the wolf gets one lamp
 he looks for another.
 A thief is really profound philos-
 opher, and always candid thinker
 that is, he looks at everything in an ao-
 stract way, and if you reason with him
 he is open and liable to conviction.
 What is more deserving of our sym
 pathy. remarks the Middletown Iran-
 scrapt, than young man with fifteen
 cents in his pocket, a girl on each arms
 and seven ice cream signs in sight.
 It is proposed, says the Norristown
 Herald, to open Q school in Philadei- phia for carriage drawing. Nothing can
 draw a carriage better than horse, but
 these animals will not be admitted to the school.
 The Owego Record says the young
 man who resolved to commit suicide oe- cause his sweetheart married an under taker owes his life to the sober second tboueht that he might be furnishing hls
 
 rival job. Tt is an editor with modesty the most intense in the land who writes the
 following "Tiring of their Lydia Thompson appearance, the maple IreoS are going down in their trunks for tneH spring and summer suits. Tt is stated that well-known Eng fish sporting nobleman last year paid a hill of 1000 for medical attendance upon his pack of hounds. The Albany Eyensao Journal says he must have thrown considerable physic to the dogs Ben Franklin, says the Boston
 Courier. sold the bottle in which he nm nrisoned the lightning to Jerseyman' , He and his descendants have been oi- z lntine it ever since, but it is still strong F enough to paralyze a man at three nun e dred yards. ! -Teacber-"What bird did Noah a send out of the ark ?" Smallest boy III s the class, after pause" A dove, SIT. \ Teacher" Very well, bull should nave thought some of you big boys woulo a have known that" Tall pupil" fiease' V sir. that boy ought to know, SIT, cause I his fathers bird-ketcher, sir. 1t The Burlington Hasokeye thinks l. there is nothing so painful at this season o of the year as the disheartening spec'a- ,f cIe of a nine-year old hen looking Il through the fence at man digging 2 n garden, while she exercises her rugged
 leps and ineisive claws on the pianK
 walk just keeping in practice until the
 garden is ready. at -"My dear husband" said she ,n timidly, am such silly chiia' wnhs m von are SO witty and accomplished and .k have such an irresistible way ot putting or things that wish you would show me Q how to-" How to what, my dear r n- "How to let you know delicately bu m firmly that I want you to let me nav zi- fifty dollars that am most desperasei. he in need of"
 nd K. is egotistic in the extreme an en other day he had occupied about 'el he minutes in delivering some persons th reminiscences of himself when he wa he interrupted. "Where was l-wna. wa nd T saving when I left off" he asked, tn ,ed interruption being at an end. "1o ,ut were saying sI"-repled one of tn ost listeners with the passing tribute of
 yawn.