davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-04-01
A Strange Life.

ID would be next 10 impossible for an
anomaly In character as the late John
MOrrissey to exist aud triumph i'm any
other country than Democratic America.
We use the term ln its generic, not
political sense tride Webster) "a govern
ment by the people" His life Was a
startling tissue OF contradictions. The
accident of birth placed him among the
lowest, and his early associates were the
most debasing i'm their tendency. Sur
rounded by poverty and dissolution; !;
with none but the coarsest of compan-
ions, lac grew 10 manhood, and gifted
with giant strength and bulldog tenaciiy
aud powers Of endurance he graduated
in the prize ring. From there the step
was an easy one TO gambling and despite
all Of place and political honors he never
lapsed from IL To the hour of his death.
lie was in office q law-maker-in private
life the most notorious of law-breakers.
With the opportunity 10 have liftcd
himself 10 high position, for his man
liness, truthfulness, square dealing and
official honesty were unquestioned. lac
never cut loose from the disgraceful
scenes Of the prize ring and the robbery
of the gaming table.
His life was stgglge mixture OF the
base and the noble. lie had rough
common sense his lack of early educa-
tion and refinement and want of advan-
tages were overcome Tin a remarkable
degree) by association and observation,
and he had il in his grasp TO have forever
left behind all that was vile and crimi-
nal. But he did not do so, strange "a H.
appears, with one of such yaulting
ambition and indefatigable workings.
A friend of the poor he Systematically
robbed the rich at his ''club houses"
congressman and gambler; the boon
companion OF the lowest, aud yet cOurted
for political purposes) by those who
held their heads very high now the
leader Of Tammany and then its most
bitter opponent; at one time the master
spirit and marshalling IS Ring" 10
battle aud then conquering IL To defeat;
mixing with the vilest elements of party
and yet leaving record unstained by
peculation, bribery or iobbery; assisting
to reform abuses and defiant of law
human or divine committee man in
the highest deliberatiye body Of the
nation, and shoulder striker and
iriCkster at cards.
There is considerable in his life 10 be
praiscd-more 90 be condemned for the
very reason that he knowingly and
obstinately refused To turn away from
the wrong and wasted the brightest
opportunities. He was in many respects
an uncommon man, and possessed clear
headed ability, force, aud the nerve 20
execute. lie did many things worthy
Of remembrance, but his memory is not
such an one as will be held sacred or az
pattern, and he was not such man as
the country will care to reproduce. The
admixture of evil predominatcl too much
over the good, and the vile and base
tarnished all that was bright upon his
escutcheon. Even with the rare faculty
IF holding his tongue" he will never
be- looked upon as the highest type
0f a statesman, and his private life will
blot his public one lSyond redemntion.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-04-01
Another New Invention.

A gentleman who has lust returned
from a trip, says Geo. Peck, in the Nj
,caukes Sun, tells of new use that has
been found for electricity, that even
beats the telephone or the phonograph.
u is device by which the colored
sleeping car porter can be awakened at
every station. Ii is well known that
the normal condition Of the colored per-
son j. TO he asleep. The coloTed person
goes To sleep on the slightest provoca-
iion. Ia the ordinary Affairs Of life this
eccentricity can I've overlooked and pro-
Vided for, but the business of sleeping
car porters has baiiied scientists To devise
a method of keeping them awake. A
porter can keep awake by constantly
whis.ling, but this practice has ten
dency To awaken passengers who 10 not
desire to be awakened.
The inventor has adapted electricity
10 this branch Of railroadlng in such a
manner tina; the colored persons use
fulness l. increased, at very little eX-
pense. II Is desirable that the porter
should be awake at each station wheJe
the sleeper stops, in order 10 snatch the
small baggage of those who get aboard,
and throw IL under the seats. \ wire
runs from the engine under the ears,
and is connected with an electric dice in
the cushion of the hind seat of the
sleeper, where the colored man is apt TO
congregate, aud at the same moment
that the engineer rings the bell ON APP
preaching a station, he touches the
thingumbOb attached 10 the wire. sup
pose the porter TO be seated IN his &C
customed place, peacefully dreaming the
happy hours away, snoring for all that
is out, and dreaming of his Nancy IN -.
Louis. for instance. His head is thrown
back his eye balls are in repose, his
mouth is open like an approach to a tun'
mel
lie is sitting on the electric dice. The
hand Of the engineer playfully touches
the cornucopia, the lightning iias hes
back TO the sleeper, a charge of eiec-
cricity goes meandering up the spinal
column Of the African, lac is raised up
10 the roof Of the car, and when he
comes down lac is wide awake and ready
for business. There is mother thing on
earth that will fetch porter except
electricity. 4 conductors boot has been
known to do il, but il takes several APP
plications. and the effect j. not quite az
satisfactory Railroad companies that
have adopted the telegraphic awakener,
in the south, are receiving the encom-
iums Of the people. This ~, indeed, an
aye of improvement
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-04-01
Vii and Hnmor.
There isn't a vegetable that can keiC

There isn't vegetable that can kelch-
up with the tomato.
Railroads are built on three gauges /.
Broad gauge, narrow gauge, and mort
gage.
Sitting Bull has got almost Ear enoug,
advance" i" spring wCIk to begin SOWING
| cartridges.
Go west young woman. The popila-
tion Of Arizona is in the proportion Of
one woman 10 four men.
"Oleomargarine" is the name they
give TO a goat up among the shanties,
because it is a had butter.
IN Iowa woman put starch into her
husbands beer thinking Il was arsenic,
aud was surprised because IL didn't
siiilen him.
A religious cOtempOraTy tells How TO
make n congregation sing" This is
going To be pretty difficult task, unless
a crooked pin - placed on each seat In
the house.
The will of Mr. Land, late of Ken
tIcky, leaves all his property TO his wife,
and specifies that she "can marry
again if she wants to-" And yet people
sing about land that is fairer than this.
"My dear, you're as good as gold" re-
marked Spilkins, as his little daughter
rushed down stairs togreet him. And,
what's more" replied the youthful Ma
tilda, I'm rapidly coming down to par"
"Well, / swan, Billy" said an old
farmer to 6n undersized nephew who
WAS visiting him, when You take Oh
that ere plug hat and spit two or three
times, there isn't much left of you, is
| thar
A few days ago a Norwich man bought
chest Of tea in Providence, and on
/ openingit, found stone inside, weighing
nearly eleven pounds. He remark ed
that the weighs Of Providence are very
mysterious.
\ IL IL human 10 doubt. Display a sign
with the. inscription Beware of paint"
and nine men out Of ten will draw their
/ forefngers across the newly painted sur
/ face to see il the sign is not merely "an
/ invention Of the enemy"
A Houston, Tex, couple have been
married in a photographers gallery,
their portraits being taken NJ the instant
/ that the concluding words Of the cere-
mony are spoken. The two Alternatives
made a negative. as il were.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-04-01

Editor McGuire. of the Dardenolle
.irkdHsidn, declines to allow his name
used for governor, and emphatlcally lie
clares he would not exchange his indie
pendent manhood and his old-nail-kcg
editorial seat. for any wreath of intrigue
dabbled laurvls and official chair With
out bottom in all the politicians gift.
Right. Manly words we'll spoken. An
honest. fearless, high-soulcd editor, wear
ing no party dog collar, and troitlng
along with his tail between hi- legs
under no one horse political country
wagon, is far greater and more useful
than any half-sCOre Of average governors
or senators. They are made and unmade,
by the ever-varying breath OF Il mob,
often Of the ba-est materials that wear
human shape while Hbelling il. lie
holds his patent Of nobility from God
atone and oil hi- wuIk ~ fOr MS country,
the people and the right.
The press is the great, unbridled
tongue Of the univerSe-iirst IN the list
of the worlds grand educators. Its total
corruption and decentralization would in
stantly carry gangrene 10 the very heart
of our civilization, poisoning all the Vir-
tues of the age, uprOoting every high
and cnobling aspiration Of the human
soul, overturning liberty and free gov
ernment everywhere, and establishing
"A universal dcspOtism Of ignorance, dc
graduation anil crime. Religion, morality,
legislation are the public administration
Of Justice and all powers fully nodded
and influenced by H. II Is ia this coum-
try the great estate Of the people
mightier than the government itself, in
the good il dispenses under an upright
and courageous discharge of the dutD
of independent journalism.
The free press is richer heritage To
our people than their blood-bOught,
almost forfeited legacy Of free govern
ment, and should be guarded in its high
character by the editor, who should ever
take rank with the wisest and purcst
and bravest of earth's leaders and bene-
factors. The editor, more than the spirit
ual gside, reaches the American home
more than any other man in all the
economies Of our civilization, molds the
sentiment Of the age. More than the
school and the pulpit, the press j. the
universal teacher of mankind.
Brother Of earth's most potter: and,
save one, most noble craft awake e. a
sense Of your exalted dignity and ~
sponsibility. Away with the base idea
that any broken-down hack, any failure
in everything else, can run a newspaper.
Editors are the salt Of the earth zee
that the seasoning lose not it, SAVIOR.
Keep out Of rings and swindling combs
nations Cease being mere pack mules
10 bear knavish iack-leg politicians into
Office. Never sink the patriot an phil
anthropist in the blind partisan. Dis
dain TO wink at scoundrelism or advocate
the cause Of scoundrels al the dictation
of any party. Avoid even the appear
ance Of evil. Stop abusing each other.
BE honest, he bold, be true, be free.
Trust God, and do your duty. Show
yourselves worthy 20 be the great ccnsors
Of the age. And, in your hands. the des-
tinies Of the country, and OF the world.
will be secure.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-04-01

"Do you think there is any danger
in the Greenbsek party of the future?'
"None whatever. The party drew
it's strength from n class which wanted
to compromise with their creditors,
aud such compact falls apart by its
own weight.
Mr. Christiancy said his life at
Washington was not agreeable in all
respects. Having been on the bench
so long, bis habits OF thought were ia
tended 10 be judicial rather than par
tisan. OF course he saw the great ne
cessity Of party organization and man
agement, without which little can be
accomplished, hut he WAS ayerse 10
caucus work, and felt it his duty to re-
fuse TO be governed by the caucus on
questions which he conceived should
be determined 10y constitutional law. -
Aud then the clamor for Office was 80
great AS 10 be wearing on his nervous
system. He felt his health giving
away under the strain Of senate work,
which he did not shirk, however, as
some do. He found it absolutely nee
essary fer him 10 be relieved aud seek
change of climate. That was the
reason, and the only one, Why he re-
signed. He chose Peru in preference
to Germany, or any other country, be-
cause there he could fnd almost any
climate within q days ride.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-04-01
Words OF Misdom.
Death and tomorrow are never here I;
they are either not come or gone.
Death comes 10 good man 10 relieve
him; u comes 10 a bad one to relieve
aOciefN

Death and tomorrow are never here I;
they are either not come or gone.
Death comes 20 a good man 10 relieve
him; Il comes 10 a bad one to relieve
society.
IL a woman is truly beautiful, LET not
her beauty be made dim by the flash OF
diamonds.
lie who despises praise will not be
likely tO practice the virtues thai would
entitle him 10 IL.
Tranquil pleasures last the longest
We are not fitted 10 bear long tlie bur
den Of great joys.
The wasp attacks the ripest fruit first !;
40 will SANDER attempt ~ wound the
most honest fame.
The iace Of truth is not the less fair for
all the counterfeit wizards that have
been put upon her.
The misery Of idleness is nearly as
manifest in high life as in rags and filth
Of extreme poverty.
Accustom yourself 10 some employ
ment for every hour you can prudently
snatch from business.
In the time that men waste i'm bewail-
ing the perverseness Of their fortune,
they could gain competency.
lie tnat thinks himself the happiest
man really is so; but lac that thinks him
self the wisest is generally the greatest
fOoi.
Sorrow comes soon enough without
dependency; it does a man no good to
carry around a lightning-rod to attract
trouble.
The violet grows low and covers itself
with its own tears, and OF all flowers,
yields the sweetest fragrance. Such is
humility.
II you ask an obstinate man 10 incline
his ears Ia reason, he il very likely TO in
cline them backwards, like horse bent
OH mischief
Love cannot fully admit the feeling
that the beloved object may die all pas
siOns feel their object to be rs eternal as
themselves
The great see the world at one end by
flattery, the little at the other end by
neglect the meanness which both dis
cover Is the same.
You may gain applause by one great,
wise, or Fortunate action; 10 avoid cen
sure. you must pass a whole life without
saying one bad or foolish thing.
Whenever you find a great deal OF
gratitude in poor man, you may take
Il for granted there would be az much
generosity If he were a rich man.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-04-01
Some OF Prentiee,s savings.

A recent writer reproduces from the
Louisville Journal some of George ID.
Prentice's witticisms, which were not
dependent upon time and circumstances,
rs most Of them naturally were, for their
pOintan force. Following are a few of
them:
TO keep your friends treat them kind
Is; 10 kill them, treat them often"
"He who reels and staggers most In
the journey of life takes the straightest
cut to the devil"
Men should not think too much Of
themselves, and vet man should be
careful not TO forget himself"
a dinner TO which a man is not in
vited generally sits hardest Oh his stOm-
ach."
There are many men whose tongues
might govern multitudes If they could
govern their tonges.'
"rhe doctors ought 10 escape calumny
No man living has right to speak i'll Of
them"
The working Of corkscrew is about
the only thing best achieved by indirec-
ton"
"The reduction Of postal facilities has
gone too far. The mail passed through
town the other day in couple of
stockings tied over the back Of u bull
dog"
a few days ago the freedom Of New
York city was presented TO Mr.. Van Bu-
rem in gold snuii-bOx. There was
plenty Of room in the box for all The
freedom that New York has enjoyed f,r
many years"
There are two periods when Congress
docs no business. One is before the
holidays and the other after"
"Were II not ungenerous TO remind
man of his natural deformities, we should
inform the editor of the - -
AdreaiSsr that he is natural fool
"An opposition editor offers 10 let his
ears on something TO our discredit. lie
shouldn't carry gambling to such ex-
treme lengths.'
If the editor of the-isn't rogue,
he ought 10 bring libel suit against his
own face"
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-04-01
Ihe Food Of Russian Soldiers.

The Russian soldier in the piping
times Of peace, is not particularly well
fed. His paternal government appears
to think that sufiiciency OF rye bread
aud uOdki-the latter an abominable
compound, which may be- compared 10
petroleum or naphtha-will keep him
in health and contentment ln var,
however. there is reason 10 believe that
he il, 10y force Of circumstances, COM
PEELED largely 20 rely on what he can
obtain IN the Way Of requisition in the
encmy'- country lie u wise IL lac re-
iects the diet provided lor him by his
Vgimenial commissaTiat. An Austrian
military paper lately gave the result oi
an analysis of a sample Of the bread
supplied 10 the Russian troops IN Bulga-
rio. The examination was carefully
made. and revealed the presence Of 10
per cent OF sawdust and IL per cent. 4
sand
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-04-01
Live Jewels.

All nature is made 10 contribute TO
women's love Of selfadornment. The
demands vary according 10 the grade OF
culture or the caprice Of the reigning
fashion. The savage Is content with the
bones, teeth, and heads Of animals, the
feathers Of birds, and the shells Of
snails and fishes, 20 adOm the head, ears,
nose, neck, arms and girdle. With the
women Of the cultured world nothing,
perhaps, is made TO contribute so largely
to crafty vanity a. the richly-oolored
birds. Whole birds Of paradise and
other species, and the feathers Of the
ostrich, peacock, marabou, and many
other birds, are made 20 serve as orna-
ments for the head. But IL is not
generally known that Mexican women Of
the wealthier classes use as ornaments,
on extraordinary occasions, live firefiies
which, in the dark, emit bright, phos-
phorescent light. They belong 10 the
family Of leaping or springing beetles,
and are called by the Spanish cuctyo. In
order 10 catch these bugs, the Indians
fasten live coal 10 a stick, and move il
10 and fro in the dark. The csioyo
thinks this bright point rival, and, In
bis anger, darts toward IL, and finds the
grave Of his liberty in the hand OF the
Indian. The Indians find a ready sale
for them in the larger cities, where they
are bought by the wealthy ladies at
about two reals twenty-five cents a
dozen. They are kept In elegant little
cages, and fed on slices Of sugar-cane,
and bsthed twice a day, either by the
ladies' themselves or by their maids. Ia
the evening they are put into little sacks,
shaped like roses, and attached 20 the
ladfee' dresses. The light these little
bugs emit surpasses in bIilliancy the re-
fection Of the purest diamonds. The
daily bath they receive Is absolutely
necessary, as without il they would emit
no light, which Is sometimes strong
enough, Il Is said, 10 read by.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-04-01
MISCELLANY.

Adam is the only man who married
on his wedding Eve.
II is bard 10 get ahead OF time, but
a musician often beats II.
Spring bonucts are to be worn near
ar the head than formerly.
An umbrella that keeps Lent the
year round is altogether too religious
for ne.
Many men whistle from want OF
thought, but few from thought or
want.
We are n funny people; we wear
socks over bear feet, shoes over socks,
and cloth over-shOes.
! The winter cutter which Slid along
for the sitting hen.
The stock OF ethereal mildness which
spring has brought is abundantly sutfi-
cient % satisfy all demands.
II you want O. strike aisle, 30 to
church. You wont be lonesome. You'll
Sud nave there before you.
Nhy is IL that every puddle Of dirty
water finds comfortable resting place
AZ the end OF n street crossing.
There ~ an unusual activity in tha
rel hanntl market. Organ grinders
are ordering epsing suits for their
monkeys
Slang ~ bad enough when uttered
by man. but when IL proceeds front
the rosy bps OF gentle woman il is un-
bearaple. We heard OF young lady
at the table the other dsy who said :
and sbe said il without blushing, too
"Oh. that is too fresh" Horrible, hor-
/ riblel She referred 90 the butter
Continual dropping will wear ava Y
n stone. II is different with n bricl |.
a chap Who started for home last nigl !
with "a brick in bis bal. dropped nj :
mer0usly on the way. but when }
reached his resideuce the "hrick" W.
still there, a trife larger than when l. a
started, II anything.
------------- q
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-04-01

l. THInE CuRE7-"Do yon ever have
tlIe bluesg' asks a sufferer from that
mala,iy, "and IL there q cure for them p
Certainly. plenty Of cures for them; just
~ there are for chills and fever, but in
like manner they will not always work.
We know one man Who walks of an
attack. another Who rows u off, aud
another who rides Il of la the saddle.
These are all dyspeptics. The same pfc-
.cripgons. aided perhaps by lemon inice
or diluted nitrOmuriatic acid, oiten prove
effective i'm the case Of bilious iuik.
When the cause j. nervous exhaustion
"A good remedy is cessation oi al WORK,
religious and secular, plenty OF sleep,
and. N the constitution can bear ", cold
water bathing. Always an ounce vi
prevention Is worth pound OF cure TOT
II II not an easy task To fight OF the
blues. Misfortune, sorrow, individual
tcmterament, and the accidents OF wind
and weather, often combine 10 weigh
down the soul until, i'm extreme instances,
insanity may be the result. But there i
no rule by which 10 cure every one
each n,rsl find ont what Is most eiiectual
In ~ .sse, and persevere with II TO the
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-04-01

The perceptive faculty Of women j.
usually keener than the same phrenolog-
ical organ in man. Woman knows, or
strongly believes, that beauty rather
than genius Is worshippcd by the s,erner
sex. 4 man may talk Of the latter 90
his lady love, but the kecnness Of the
woman knows he j. thinking Of The
former In his heart Women have AN
innate desire 90 please their beaux.
They are fond Of admiration, hence one
of their longings j. 90 be beautiful; 60
he called pretty, handsome. The grand
secret Of female beauty " health; the
secret Of health is the power. the appe-
tite 10 cot, digest and assimilate proper
quantity OF wholesome food vet, IN con-
nection with this there il something
more importani-aciivc exercise, which
will cleanse and tone the vital organs,
laain lsrfs,t digestion. purify the blood,
,iear the complexion and produce n state
of mental and physical electricity, which
gives symmetry Of form. bright eyes,
white skin and glossy hair. the last a
genuine type Of female beauty and love
lines which NO cosmetic can ever
produce.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-04-01
rHR TELEPHONE.


The world stood stiii for q thousand years.
And erept f0r a thousand more.
This wonderful world with wings for ears.
Like the Messenger god OF yore-
And winged feet and winged wand.
And wing on its either hand.
And more than Mercury wore.
II brides and rides furnaces fol
with Iron and hammer for sire,
Great clouds OF white nom their nOstrls roll,
And it feeds its horses fret
they ase tsCodod stock. the engines swim,
Beneath their heels the distance arm
Like SHOWS froul the Arctic Pole
They rattle across the meridian lines,
And down the parallels playi
They marry together the palms and pine.
thousand miles In day.
The world has tralneda wonderful wire.
A nerveof a route cor arliculAts fire.
And taught the lightning TO say;
Dear Mary. be mine r'-"carlOad OF swine
zone ton OF cheese'-"Maria dear
"JOyi It's boyi"-"In coming 10 dine
send soap"-"She's married to Fred"
The humblest OF words like angels ny
A thousand miles In the fash o. an eye.
You hear before they are said
What happened at 10 you know ats.
Ahugou away lh the Ntats
They distance along the lightning linz
The sun In his golden rest.
They talk to-day in audible tone.
The telegraph turns the telephone.
And parted lovers are blest.
Think OF glri In a lonely hour.
No beau IA forty miles.
she sits by the tube OF talking power.
She thinks a minute ana smiles.
"Ill csn my John" you fancy her say,
HE lives but hundred miles away.
And banlsh the weary wnes."
Behold them At the ends Of the lines.
This John and his black-eyed booni
His head aud hers on the wires Incline
Aud she sings him Benny Doon.
lie slghs fOr the only thing amiss,
lie has no voice, but then he can-kissi
lie might as we'll be Ia the moon
For umptier than an east winds laugh
lea lovers Kiss by telegraph