New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1879-10-08
Marrying in Haste.

lately, there were no less than thirty.
four applications for divorce from
husbands and wives. This, it should
be borne in mind, was only the bust
nezs of two days, and other cases were
to come. A glance at the statements
made by the petitioners reveals q most
deplorable condition of affairs among
the married people who sue the court
to loose their matrimonial bonds. We
need not assume that the welded
couples of Massachusetts, are less hap
py, as a rule, than those of any other
State; but when we consider the vast
surplus of unmarried women in that
State, as compared with the unmar-
ried men, it must occur to every
thoughtful person that the so-called
hopeless spinsters are better off as
they arc than in the welded state.
Certainly, they can truly say that if
the proceedings in the divorce courts
indicate anything, the phrase "single-
blessedness'' means a great deal with
them. There was no double blessedness
in the homes of the miserable thirty
four who asked the court to set them
free once more.
One striking feature of the Massa-
chusetts cases was the comparatively
short period in which the estranged
couples had lived together. This in
dicates that the petitioners had mar
ried in haste, and that they had hard
~ given. in some instances, matrimo-
ny fair trial. The commonest cause
of conjugal infelicity is tho failure of
one or both of the partners to realize
that marriage involves surrender,
to certain degree, of ones individ-
uality. Conjngal happiness, to be
complete, must be based on mutual
compromise. It is quite likely that
many of the apparent irreconcilable
differences which drove the crowd of
men and women to the divorce court,
the other day, might have been COM
posed happily, if~the partners had been
patient. But, perhaps, the people
who are married in haste are most in
a hurry TO be unyoked. A majority of
thecases towhich we have referred were
founded on chargeso of immoral conduct
on the part of the respondents. 1t is
hardly exact, however, to call the part
ners complained of respondents" as
in almost none of the cases did the
guilty parties appear to defend them
selves. And this, too, is a bad indica-
ton. It shows that there was tacit
understanding that there should be no
contest in the matter. This is procur-
ing divorce by mutual agreement
proceeding which is always Of doubtful
morality.
Looking over the evidence profered
by the petitioners in the divorce suits,
one cannot fail to be struck with the
amount of domestic misery therein in
volved. How much of this was purely
imaginary, and how much might have
been averted by q spirit of mutual con-
cession, nobody can guess. But here
are revolving tales of cruelty, brutality,
etc. Here, too, are instances of q
lightness and frivolity which would be
amusing, if they were not SO serious as
to destroy all Of that solemnity with
which the marriage tie ought to be re-
garded. Desertion is 50 frequently adj
duced as the ground on which divorce
should be granted, that the courts are
wary in considering that plea. Exactly
what constitutes desertion has never
been accurately determined by any
final authority. The definition of the
word, as used in divorce proceedings,
is about as uncertain as that other
term, !" extreme cruelty" It is certain
that 4 man may be extremely cruel to
his wife without once employing per-
sonal violence, and it has been alleged
of q fugitive wife that she had deserted
her husband, when she had only ..gone
to her mother's,' in fulfllment of q ia
vorite threat. But, in most of the
Massachusetts cases, the desertion was
real and absolute. The deserter was
as often the husband as the wife; and
it was noticeable that the wife never
took much trouble to hunt up the fu-
gacious husband, but went straight to
the divorce court, while the husbands
did search long for their fleeing
spouses, before giving them up at last
After all, it must be admitted that
the foundation Of most Of the divorce
cases in the coarts is hasty marriage.
It does not follow that hasty mar
riage presupposes Q short acquaint.
ance Of the contracting parties. a
marriage is . hasty one when it is I'M.
dertaken without due consid Iteration.
It is hasty when the consenting part,
ners undertake it without being i'm.
pressed with the fact that it IS . com.
pact which IS to endure, or should en-,
dure, through the lives Of those who
agree to the conditions. Divorce T.