The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1879-06-12
To Scold or Not to ScOld /!

DaAtiAny @hAANAiSaA
Why is it that while niggardly II
praise. we are commonly SO pro1igsl o
fault>fnding l. is not because censur,
is more potent for good than the m eec
of appreciation, tor the contrary il
known to be the csse by the most careful
observer; nor is it because we commend
ourselves more by severity than by
sympathy to our fellow creatures
" Scolding begets fear praise nourishe'
love" Undue reproof ssirs up sleep
ing crowd Of evil bitter thoughts anC
ends, if it be accepted as s matter O
course, by superirducing a state o.
moral numbness or insensibility. Capt
Basil Hall, in one of his delightful
books, popular fifty years ago, but
which are overlooked by the young
people of " the PERIOD" contrasts two
captains whom he sailed with, one Of
whom would never come on deck with
out discovering some cause or finding
fault with the officer of the watch, how
ever carefully be might have done hi;
duty; the other always had, if possible
q word of encouragement or cOmmenda,
ton. The ship OF the one was what
sailors call ga hell afoat;" in that Of
the other there was happiness, confidence
srd reciprocal good offices. Praise does
not, of course, mean dattery. No praise
is worth anything unless it commends
itself to the mind of him who receives
it as a recognition of the truth. II it be
sn unexpected recognition it is the
more precious. The anecdotes frequent
" told the extraordinary effects pro-
duced by one set of confidence or COM
mendstiOn are usually of cases where
something very different has been ex-
pected. Indeed, a total change in the
treatment that a delinquent is accuso
tened to often works wonders either
way. The road to the confidence of a
iellow-cresture lies not through fettery
or insincerity, but is found in gen.
uine recognition of something good
IN him. By stimulating the good
you help to cure the evil. This
has nothing IN common with that
enervating humanitarianism-invariably
unjust to somebody-which brides the
predigal against his will to suffer him.
self to be conveyed homeward in a coach
and tour. The effects of such philan-
thropy are disappointment to itself and
an increased load of sin for the evilsdoer
But if praise and recognition be success
nj in aTOusing among rogues, why should
we not expend more of them 10 our in
tercourse with our own families and
with honest men? Especially why
should we not have patience with dull
ness and incapacity? By Strengthening
and encouraging the sluggish ietellect al
evers advance we lead il step to higher
level. Give to the dull child o,Edepen-
dent one idea to master at "a time, ano
associate that idea, not with affection
and encouragement. Candor is a most
unpleasant quality when it consists il
forever telling those about us of Their
sUlts and shortcomings. aft we have
given an humble pleasure" says great
writer, cit is not day altogether lost tc
the wisest OF US" And the habit o.
seeking tor theme for praise, not blame
reacts upon ourselves, and calls forth
or strengthens our most Smisble Guai
lilies. Like mercy--becsuse il is one
iorm of tit blesses him who gives
sud him who taxes"
Or course, there sre occasions when
reproof becomes the stern, unwelcome
duty of the Christian, but reproof is q
fsr more dignifed thing than what we
are accustomed to call scolding. u
Reproof that wounded not meier yet
sank deep" says Arteveld, but scolding
only produces irritation. Even in just
repuoof, as in good counsel, there is
rarely any use in dwelling at much
length on what the evil-doer knows as
well as We do-better, perhsps-for he
has learned it at the cost of sad expert
ence. There is sentence to this effect
in the confession of poor Hicks in the
e Lady of the Aroostock"-that pathetic
sketch of a man lost through drink,
whose history, with Resist the begin
nings" for a motto, might preach to
many hearts powerful sermon. If we
can suggest what will stimulate q good
impulse, our words will not be vain, but
they are worse than useless if they serve
only to dull one. sob my lady, my
lady, whip lie and let me gop' cried
the little Scotch boy to his grandmother,
whose blows we've less terrible than her
tongue But the wise men and women
who study human nature in their own
hearts will feel that it is beet, upon the
whole, to cultivate the habit OF giving
pleasure, because it needs no cultivation
to dispose us to be irritable and sharp
tongued in defense of our own rights or
in reprehending the faults and the short
comings of Others.