The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27
WAITS AND WHIMS.
Eggs come in layers.

The Board Of Education-a school
masters shingle.
THE flower of the family is generally
found in sacque.
THE man with no teeth is alwayr
looking for soft thing.
THE new broom sweeps clean when it
is properly handled.
THE trapeze performer is sometimes
heels over head in business.
A COLUMBUS (Ohio) young lady wants.
to kiss Joe Jefferson. Let her, Rip.
AN undertaken at wedding is the
rite man in the wrong place.
WHY is ship the politest thing in
the world? Because she always advances
with bow.
The time is coming when a buffalo
robe will cover two hearts that beat as
one.
NERO, Pompey and Caesar are common,
names for dogs, but wouldn't Agripps
be more appropriate.
THERE are great many people who.
will never 60 to heaven unless they can
60 at excursion rates.
A MANS faith is often shown by tho
length of time for which he subscribes
for lis paper and pays for it in advance.
FALLING down stairs gives a fellow a.
wonderful insight into the starry king.
dom.
A WICKED Philadelphia wants to-
know if there are any fre-escapes in the
next world.
"YoU don't seem to like me when I
mould" the ink replied to the angry:
scribe. a.
LOVE may be blind before marriage.
but-ah, yes, we forgot-there is no love.
after marriage.
"a FRAUD in Silks" is the startling
headline in an exchange. All! Went
back on you, did she?
A YOUNG man is apt to think tho
times are hard when he cannot gel p soft.
place.
SINCE the decline in cotton one meets.
a great many well-developed girls on the
street.
"WHAT's more sacred than matri--
mony? asks an exchange. Divorces..
Ask us one with a Gordian knot.
The Whitehall Times has learned whyh
Samson was so strong. He never tool
! the trouble TO bathe in the Jordan.
I A BRIDGEPORT graveyard is used fol
the pasturing of goats Goats are verJ
partial to mans resting place.-Danbaz5
Ne7rs.
GENERAL SCHENCK can brag of his
skill at poker, but we know a man who
has never been beaten game. he psYe
played.
A BooH entitled Letters from Cat,
is announced. 1t will probably give us''
the other side of the boot-jack and back
yard question.
IT is stated that Robert Bonner is tho
happy possessor of over eighty horses, all
of which have records. Who can boast
of as many fast friends?
THE Hackensack Republican speaks Of
"a smile as long as a summer day."
That's very delicate way to refer to .
cask of Jersey lightning.
MAN wants but little here below.
True, and saleratus in the breakfast,
biscuit is no exception to the general
rule.
Il WAC who had lent q minister .
horse that had run away ard thrown tho
clergyman, claimed credit tor spreading
the gospel.
The supreme moment of a loafer's
life is when Il candidate asks for the use
! of his influence with the workingmen of
his ward.
A WISCONSIN city, in order to avoid
scandals in the girls schools has decided
that the leading teachers shall be
women. They want principals, not men.
"CAN there be happiness where there
is no love-" solemnly queries an author
| in a book on marriage. Not much hap
pincss, perhaps, but if the girl is awfully
rich, there can be lots of fun.
The Buffalo E1press is doing its best
to organize an expedition to go in search
of MI. Dana. The editor of the Express
appears to be man who doesn't know
good thing when he sees it. Why can't
he let well enough alone.-Atlanta Con-
stit,:tion.
NOWADAYS man strolls down to the
corner grocery in the evening. gets
trusted for an yeast cake and samples
every basket of peaches or pears in the
store. Value of the yeast cake. TWO
cents; samples, fifteen cents. And yet
Srocers accumulate fortunes
"WILL you ever be mine?" he asked
her rapturously; and when she answered,
"Theic is one above knows. ALL" he
thought camp-meeting had struck in and
clinched; but she only referred 10 the
old man, who was slumbering in the
front room second"
WHEN a man begins TO turn WALLER
and fade like gum tree in the early fall,
he is about the most convenient thing
that family of girls and boys with a
likely mother can have about the house.
It's papa do this, and papa do that, or
won't you put the children to bed, or
wash their little footsy-tootsies, or tel!
'em some stories and bring bucket OF
fresh water, or bring something or
other" all the livelong day and good
part of the night
IT is etiquette that makes woman