Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-01-24
THE MYSTERIOUS ADVERTISE
MENT.

"Perikokolophustico boolAh bah :" The
speaker was an elderly lady who had missed
her train and was detained with two or three
others. in the waiting room at one of the
railway functions The rest of the compnny
looked at her with surprise for they had new
er heard such an ejaculation before, and they
doubt, d, perhaps, whether she had not taken
leave of her senses.
'Perkckolophustico booah bah :" she re-
p, ated. what can it mean / hate these
mysterious announcements in the second col
umn Of the Times just look at that :" hold
ing up the obnoxious paper. What is it
meant for What wickedness does it con
ceal? Where secrecy begins, villainy is not
far OFF. There ought to be an act of Parlia-
ment to prevent such things being published
If our country were like some countries, and
our government like some governments, they
would soon be put down and the paper sup
pressed. Who knows but under these appar-
emily unmeaning sylables some deep-laid
plot may lie concealed for the subversiOn Of
our monarchy and the establishment of a re-
public, or an empire, even, in its stead
What do you think of it, Mr.. Dickens Why
don't you give me your opinion y
The gentleman appealed to smiled and
said he did not think there was much harm
in the advertisement in question. But Mrs
Nipont shook her head impatieuty She was
thing, and felt it quite an insult to her sex in
general, and TO herself in particular, that Ian
guage should be thus employed only to con
ceal mems thoughts.
Harm or no harm" she replied, these
secret advertisements are aggravating. Look
here again, No kmocker no scraper no UNI
brclla, mapzddnokx, "a pretty announce
ment that in a rainy climate like ours.
should not be surprised, now, if that were
L.
appointment with his fellows, for breaking
into house with sledge- hammers, false keys,
and crowbars, and to murder people in their
sleep, or frighten them to death, which would
be almost as serious
''DO you think so :" said another of the
company, Il young man with smooth features
and pair of spectacles. Now, / always
fancy those advertisements are the tender ef-
fusions of some hapless lovers who are de-
barred from the more open and affectionate
expression of their sentiments, and whose
sighs, as the poet Dryden says are whisper
ed by the warbling-'" "Poof poof
squ-e-e-e-e-e !" 1t was only an engine pass
ing, but it interrupted the poetical quotation,
and the speaker turned away in disgust, with
out attempting to finish it.
I'm my opinion" said an old man of n
more practical and prosaic turn of mind,
these notices are mere trade quotations the
price of tallow, perhaps, for the information
Of agents on the Continent, who may be
moving about and their address uncertain
orders TO buy, or to sell or what not"
II don't agree with you, Mrs Vipont an
swered II believe they emanate from con-
spirators, Freemasons, or Jesuits. l remcm-
ber seeing one or two such in the Times a
short tine before the last French Revolution
broke out"
"Very likely you did, said Mr.. Dickens
they appear almost daily. There is one
consolation, at all events, and that is that
most of these secrets are really no secrets at
all. There is scarcely one of them that has
not been or may not be interpreted, if those
no are skilled in such investigations choose
to look into them. However artfully the
message may be disguised, the clue can al
most always be discovered and the mystery
mlrayclled. Until the act of Parliament
which you referred to, shall be passed. and
the editor of our leading journal suspended, it
is satit factory to know that"
II don't believe anybody understands
them" said the lady, inpatiently; mot even
the people who put them in, nor those who
are supposed To read them"
Il can answer for it that even that may
happen sometimes" said Mr. Dickens An
instance of the kind came under my own no.
tce not very long ago"
Indeed Pray tell us about it,
1T is rather long story"
80 much the better we have nearly an
hour to wait yet. Do let us have it,"
Mr., Dickens finding that the company were
prepared to listen to him, began as follows -
was on my way home last autumn, from
II tour which l had been making in Norman
dy, and arrived by a late train at Dieppe, in
tending to cross over to England next morn
ing weather permitting The clock struck
one before got to bed, and, being tired with
my journey, l soon fell asleep. Between
two and three in the morning was disturb
ed. The night was pitch dark, but there was
II faint light reflected into my room from the
lamp in the courtyard of the hotel and the
outline of my window was printed on the
ceiling of the room, like huge, distorted
skylight 1t was blowing hard outside, but
only heard the distant murmur of the wind,
my side of the house being well sheltered.
Yet fancied that / must have been disturb
ed in my sleep by its roaring.
Before had time for much reflection my