The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1879-05-09
VOL. XXIII----NO. 10.
VARIETIES.

Simple pity amt much better to person
than an insult; but to pity him with five
dollar bill is business.
"A Western editor kindly alludes to CO.
temporary: "He is young yet, but he can sit
at his desk and brush cob-Webs from the cell
ing with his ears"
-"Wife," said a man looking for a boot
jack, 81 have places where keep my things,
and you ought it." EYES," said she, II ought
TO know Where you keep your late hours, but
I don't"
The young lady who gave the mitten to
the young man who would not go into the
house where it was comfortable, but per-
sisted in keeping her out at the front gate,
now refers to him as one of her cast-off gait
ers.
Speak gently, speak gently; no matter
how much bigger and how much broader
across the shoulders than yourself the other
man is, nor now cross he looks, speak gently
The bigger and broader and crosser-the gen
tier.
"A boy having complained to his father
that Bill had thrown the Bible at him, and
hurt him on the head, the father replied -
"Well, you are the only member of my fami-
y on whom the Bible ever made the least i'm
preston"
u never shot a bird in my life" said
fellow to his friend, who replied: "For my
part, never shot anything in the shape of a
bird except q squirrel, which | killed with
stone; when it fell into the river and was
drowned"
-"Can man belong to q brass band and
be Christian" asks an exchange. We see
no impeachment in the way. But if he is Civ
en- to practicing at home, it is an utter impos-
sibility for the man living next door to be q
Christian
The other day, as two friends were talk
ing together in the street. donkey began to
bray and wheeze and cough in distressing
manner. "What cold that donkey hasp'
said one of the men. "And by the way that
puts me in mind-how is your cough?"
-Curate: "Good morning, Curley hope
you are getting better now?" Artizan: eyes
MASTER thankee. am saving up" Citrate:
81 am glad to hear that. How much have
you savcd?" Artizan: II have got penny,
master, and am saving it till get another,
and then | am going to have pint"
There is something singular about the
employment" advertisements in our Cana
dian exchanges. Almost every lad" that is
signed with an American name winds up by
saying the applicant "is competent to take
charge of set of books, and has had -
years experience as bank cashier"
President Lincoln once listened patiently
while friend read long manuscript to him
and who then asked: "What do you think
of it? How will it take?" The President re-
Elected little while, and then answered:
wei, for people who like that kind of thing
think that is just about the kind of a thing
they'd like"
The Burlington Hasokeye says: 1.-THE
women in Kansas vote at the school elections.
AT a recent election at Usage City one woman
went up to vote, but before she got through
telling the judges what time her Willie had
with the scarlet fever when he was only two
years old, it was time to close the polls and
she had forgotten to deposit her ballot"
"A small boy was hoeing corn in sterile
field by the roadside when a passer-by stop
ped and said, "'Pears to me your corn is rath-
er small" Certainly" said the boy, "it's
dwarf corn" "But it looks yellow" Ger
tainly," replied the boy, 1--WE planted the yal-
Ter kind" But it looks as if you wouldn't
get more than half crop" "Of course not,
said the boy, tive planted it on shares"