The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1879-09-11
MY FRIENDS HUSBAND.


Not mine-nO, indeed; my husband is
so different that l may write a paper
some time just to tell how good he is,
but this article is about another woman S
husband. John and | have just return
ed from visit to some dear friends of
mine, and their experience of life's lit
tie trials has been of such a kind, and
vet 50 unlike one to the other, that
have a great desire TO tell some one all
about it.
But why not tell every body?" said
John, when told him my desire. And
so ] send this to the Christian Union,
with the hope that there maybe some
among its readers still young and clear
= sighted enough to profit by bad exam
pie. | do not mean that there is no pos
sibility of improvement in those who
have reached middle life. Surely |
would not thus cut off my own posi-
bilities for daily growth in the knowledge
of good, but it remains true that if Il
man or woman has lived to the age of
40 years in the unconscious indulgence
of petty selfishness, the probabilities are
against sufficient clearness and range of
mental vision to take in ones entire self
Or, if such vision is granted by divine
inspiration, the sight of soul encrusted
with neglected opportunities for a daily
giving of one's self away, after the pat
tern of the Great Master, must be full
of pain.
The friend of whom ] wish to speak,
like many another loving wife, palliates
all her husbands shortcomings with the
oft-repestted excuse, go, it is just his
way" an excuse against which | wish
vehemently to protest. As if any one
had right to make himself disagreed
BILE to all around him simply because he
was INDUCING in his own particular dis
agreeableness, and not another's.
But "his way" in this case meant
nothing unpleasant in manner. 1t was
simply that kind of selfishness which,
through inability or unwillingneSS TO put
itself in the place of another, always
Judges from its own standpoint.
OF my friend herself, | will only say
that she has been married 20 years, and
that she went, at her marriage, from a
home in this city to a large farm in the
country. Though her city home had
been humble one, yet certain things
had seemed so much matter of course
and so entirely necessity that it never
occurred to her to doubt their cOntinu-
ance after marriage.
- Among these, may mention her at
tendance at church, her ability, in
small way, to assist others, and, especi-
ally, her love of cleanliness and order in
all her household arrangements. Il have
often wondered if the grace that con-
quered resentment when she found that
it was too much trouble to harness
the horse and take her to church on
Sunday mornings was not. a better gift
to her than she could have obtained in
the public worship which she so much
enjoyed. The distance was so great rs TO
prevent her walking over the rough roads
except in the very best of weather. and
yet the desire to bring up her children
in the church often induced her to lead
the little ones the whole distance, though
the weary feet of the mother would
gladly have found their rest at home. 1
do not say that her husband always re-
fused to accompany her. He did refuse
to attend church, but the horses were at
her service when there happened to be
one gentle enough to trust to her driv-
ing, or when the ".hired man - could
spare his valuable time. or he himself
would drive if he "felt like it, but her
feelings were rarely consulted
< 1t.was the same with regard to mon
ey. If it had happened to be perfectly
convenient for him. he would have been
glad TO supply her with all she could
spend. But be was what, in common
parlance, is called "land poor His /
large farm was far from bringing him in
a large income; and, in the constant en-
deavor to enrich the land, he found no
time to cultivate the mind or soul, and !
neither time nor money to give to those
who were poorer than himself That his
pigs'should be the latest in the market, I
he would spend all that was necessary; .
but TO pay his wife's pew rent seemed 4 I
burden too great to be, borne No fruits /
were TO be found upon his table. because /
il s did not pay 1'' to raise them, the
health and pleasure of wife and children
not being considered a profitable invest
ment. g-.- ---. -
His horses must have rest; but a holi-