Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1879-05-22

/ the SiVef over the receiver.
A man who has heart in him values
q genuine little b15 Of home more than
anything else yopIean give him.
as poie. worn. IN ssy-haired woman, in a
mob-cap and whi;t cashmere shawl,
Two couples el9 ped from Winchester
Va, on the sar % train. and eIuling
pursuit were married at fba no t;,,o 10 .
a minister. ''--- '-'-'o y
a colored laundress in New York "a.
Gently deceased, isft fortune Of S75 0O1
Tor her husband and fourteen descend.
ants to quarrel over.
More Joy can be extracted from on
Old pair of shoes all run down at the heel
than from all the new patent-leather
boots that were ever invented.
a good square kick viii sometimes
help o man further along in this world
toward independence and pr0sperifv
than dozen pulls by the hind.
A women may not be able to sbarDen
q pencil Or throw stones at a hen, but
she can pack more articles into trunk
than man can in q one-horso wagon.
Prof Felix Adler says there are occa-
sions when it IS absolutely WRONG to tel
the truth. The professor NAV he riqhf
Lu5 ne can't sWetTe US from the habit we
formed years before We embarked in the
newspaper business.
d goat browsing on green sward an
preached a pig-pen and said TO its occn-
pant Why 10 you stay in that horried
place when there's such a lovely spot as
tals handy? The pen is mightior
than the sward, guntel tho pig.
...----4l s .4'... ana v
GOD is 700 h1ga-fhe czar is too far CIT
What tale Of sorrow, Of injustice, OF
irremediable wrong and dire oppression,
is told in that enc brief sentence, tho
typical proverb Of people into whose
soul the iron has indeed entered.
The Turk, Rustum Efendi, secretary
Of the Russian legation, who Was to mar
~ the daughter of the late Secretary
Stanton, has retired from the engage
ment because the young lady's guard
Jams would not turn over TO his absolute
control the large estate vested in her
name.
John, did you 60 round and ash how
old Mrs. Jones is this morning, as / told
YOU to last niebt2 Yes, sir?' 'Wel,
what's the result ? She said that
seeing as how you'd had the impudence
to send to ask how old she was, she'd
no objection to telling you that she s
seventy-four.
Those parties IN Springfield, Mass,
who have had their residences heated
the past season by the Holly system, in
which steam is carried through the
streets like gas. ind the expense about
the same as il thoy had burned coal, but
are delighted to be rid OF the dust and
dirt of furnaces
Nervous ladies who have been in the
habit Of looking nightly Tor "a man nm IN
der the bed, and thereby Drought f1dl-
Guile upon thens Ives, VIII leel feJOlceu
to hear that a altimore lady was re-
vvarded for her log -'earell, and that her
husband dragged him out and turned
him over to the police.
A magazine writer says there is 'toc
\ much money boarded in this country.
There may be but all the magazine ar
ticles in the world viii not induce edi
tors to put their millions OF dollars into
circulation until confidence in the bus
mess world is fully restored. At least
that is the way we feel about it.
A doctor Of divinity was once giving
his class some instructions about preach
ing In such d manner as to gain attrac
ton and applause. Young gentlemen,
said he, it's all contained in a nutshell
When You go to preach in the city, take
your best coat; but when you go t.
, preach in the country, take Your bes
sermon
, A gentleman being threatened with al
, infectious fever, said to his little son
who in an afecti0nate mood wished t,
embrace him, You mustn't hug me
you'll catch the ever. Willie, standing
back, looked in amazement upon hi
papa, who, by the way, is a pattern 0
propriety, and quickly asked, Why
, papa, who did you hug !?
/ A little fellow had been sorely temples
, and had helped himself to raspberry jam
1 His mother asked him why he took
, and he replied that he guessed it wa
I Satan tempted him. why did yol
not say Get tee behind me Satin
queried his moher again. Il though
! he might be deal and couldn't hear me,
s~~ tf's--.~lf i,.=,ifying reply.
APosrRopHE TO A FLY.
! Dance on my nose with your tickling feet
, Blue tottle fly
Sing in my ears With your buzz to greet
= Ne, asI lie,
: You will seek me out in my dark retreat,
. With an eager zeal that no screen can beat,
, And try to slap you clear into the sweet
s Sweet bye and bye.
{ / haven't seen You since seyenty-eight,
: Little house fly;
e And I see you now with the bitterest hate
i You can defy.
+ Oh, how hate you, nobody knows,
, Author Of half 81 my summer woes
. Or. how ] navel that Won might be frnze.