The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-08-29
remarks until a more refined audience
could be present. -Neto HdUen Register.

remarks until more refined audience
could be present. -Neto Haue1s RegtsteT.
The Bradford Era tells of an African
LADY, who was quietly slipping glass IN
hotel of that city, when rufian blew some
beer froth in her face, Whisking out a
revolver, and holding her own mug under.
his nose, she exclaimed; You poor miser-
able white trash, you'll Jes' you blow de
frof ofn dat glass, jest once moab, for
for-instanee!
Yesterday policeman saw young man
sitting on dry goods box, with his head
tied up and one arm in sling. Some OF
his ear was gone, and his nose needed
sending to repair shop. Did loaded
wagon run over you?" asked the police
man. No; we were only celebrating my
birthday last night. We had glorious
time. You ought to have been there. -
The policeman merely said that judging
by the looks of the celebrant the whole
force ought TO have been there. Galveston
Neaos.
C, whose death is just announced,
was one of the most secret, dark and mid :
night men imaginable. He did not wish
the fact that he was ill to be made public;
and so, when his faithful friend X. was
asked how the old gentleman was,
he took the inquirer by the button hole
and whispered in his ear: Hes dead, but
he doesn't want tknown."
Each of Queen Victoria's journeys
from England to Scotland costs $4,000,
on account of the excessive precautions
taken that no accident may befall her
And yet, when her time comes TO die
the event will make no more difference
in the affairs Of the world than ii she were
Mrs Smith aud knit socks to sell at 81
cents per pair. - Rochester Express.
A sad story is that which says doctor
daughter was being serenaded early Ia til
week, when the medical gentleman ap
! peared Ut the window aud Informed th'
young man that ii he misery could b
] c9ntroied far few moment: he wnnid Tx
to put OF his treeCheo but II il was ii e o
dslth he wuu.d come right G01u. An
The poor young man u"e>n'j know whe bt
to 50 West or jim "Piuafore" company
HipOH Commonwealth.
1 Il looks rather ouinoas to see ma
!, epter liquor store aud come out with a
unit cigar 10 his mouth look all around
aud if no one is in sight shove the Fabric
de Totacos in his pocket. Possibly b
}, may nave swallowed the fire. Osl0e9
Times,
The managers of the Atcbison, Topek
u and Santa Fe are confident that their el
tension to Guaymas, Mexico, on th
Cult Of California, will control the Au
I traiau trade. Tie distance from Ne
% York to Australia, by way OF the new roa
IS to Guagras, will be 5000 miles, while /
q way OF San Francisco it is 400. Il
distance to several of the leading ports
China will also be lcssened by the ne
y road,
The German Lutheran Conference
the Northera Districs OF Illinois, compri
ing seventy churches, ia in session at IA
kakee, with an attendance Of fifty clerg
men.
The Catholic ciergymen comprising ii
diocese OF Peoria, to the number of tit
to are holding retreat" at st. Water
College, IN Bourbonna!s, two miles fro
kaukakee.
es The man who would kick another out
st his store or Office for advising him how
run his buslncss,csu be seen after workin
hours stro!lng round toward the printin
IL Office filed full .: suggestions to offer Il
editor as to the proper method of conduc
ing hewspaper.-L II, hampton.
- 4 disease resembling the murrain l.
~ within the past few days carried off seve
" al valuable cattle Ia the vicinity of Sprin
field, Ill. The victims died within two
IL three days after being attacked, and Il
symptoms, so far as can be ascertaine
ar IN no IN eli a ~
the murrain.
=, The production of the Pennsylvania
regions for July amounted to LIZA
&c barrels OF forty two gallons each, an
ty crease of 333 per eent.over the correspon
on ing month of 1878 So great is the pl
duction at the present time that thousau
of barrels go to waste daily.
n Dean Stanley was not equal to his G
" portunities when he performed the ms
rage ceremony of Professor lynda
The dean should have asked the grool
DO you take this anthropoid to be 20
coordinate, TO love with your nerve &C
tres, to cherish with your whole ceilul
tissue, until final molecular disturbar
shall resolve its organism into it's PRINT;
w atoms? I" Cincinnati Commercial.
At gives uidu u NlFlU conception OF
hollowness of all earthly things when
ID sees the commander of barber shop W
a head as barren a. the bottom Of wa
bowl, and then read his name on bot
OF hair invIgoratoT warranted to prodJ
hyperion curis on bald head IN thr
lb- months. Syracuse Sunday Times.
We frequently hear of narrow escaI
from drowning, the victims 10 nearly eve
instance being rescued Just as they We
going down for the third time" Why
it that some are not saved when about
j. 60 down the second time" Let us BIZ
of some one saved before going down
on. all, like the Dutchman who was the s
survivor OF a party OF nine, the reason
his miraculous escape being that he did
60 oudt in der poat Boston Journal
Commerce.
Ii some Of the deck hands CD the 6
:. had only showed that sample fly oveIbo,
he what vast amount of profanity wo,
IAN have been spoiled in after years. -E2nsl
s Gazette.