Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-01-18
Hawk-Eyetoms.

who wrote, Buffalo honesty is the
best policy"
The man who writes up the marriage
notices on this paper calls himself the
moose editor.
A great many Iowa people have a con-
fused idea that Dean Stanley is the
father Of Stanley Matthews.
Dean Stanley says that the American,
newspapers are not veracious. Some
body has been telling on us.
Variety" remarked the West Hill
woman who put thirty-two ingredients
into her mince pies, variety is the
pies Of life.
Last Sunday a St. Louis minister
preached an hour and twenty minutes
to prove that people talk too much
and think too little.
"Watchman," asks n romantic ex-
change. what of the times?' Now Is
the time to make up clubs. Go on
with your nap. watchman.
What do you honestly suppose would
become of this country If we had no
Congress for the next five years ? Now
put oIChh OIlc Ut " llIucs
Manton Marble says she never reads
the New York TriJUne" No? Well that
is just where the Tribune has Won, good
Manton, and your master, too. 1t reads
you like book.
1t is said that Rufus Choate was Gin
different to the amount Of his fee only
after he had succeeded" 1t may be
remarked right here that Choate was
the last of his race.
The Atlanta Constitution says we are
afraid to come down south?" Oh, non
sense, We have been to st. Louis and
Cairo. "Afraid to come down South {?
Bosh we'd like to come; we don't owe
anybody in Atlanta, do we?
joy, JOY, good times are coming
again! good times are hero. Joy to
the merchant, JOY to the man of law,
joy, joy, to the poor working man!
Harper's Basar says you can buy very
nice fur cloak now for $1S5.
These bracing mornings there is
enough frost on the hillside plank
walks to make the man think, as he
walks down the hill on his shoulder
blades. that the watermelon season has
spread its rind over the ground again.
Look out, Mr.. Edison, the proof
reader of the Haukeye has invented a
by which he can tell the
instant man enters the ssnctum,
whether he is going to stop his paper
or sit down and read aloud from an sx-
change six days old.
A couple of daring foot-pads gar
roted en- eminently respectable resident
of West Hill the other night, choked
him, tore off his coat, and ruthlessly
robbed him of his liver-pad, which
they supposed was a receptacle for
United States bonds and treasury
notes.
"Can cats be trained to fetch and
carry, like dog?" asks contributor.
They will carry off anything they can
eat without training, and if there is
anything that will naturally fetch q
coop full Of young chickens to grief
quicker than O cat, it is as yet kept a
profound secret.
Clara Louise Kellogg receiveda dia-
mond anonymously from some western
admirer, and Immediately contributed
it to the southern relief fund. st.
Louis Journal. Oh, ha? So that's all
she cared for the $2,700 diamond. ell I?
Well, it served us right. Well give
the next one to our wife.
"I can always tell a gentleman,
said Mrs. McKerrell, "by the way he
swears if he finds anything in his SOUP"
And the boarders finished their mock
est kind of mock turtle in satisfied ST.
lence, bordering over the various forms
and styles of profanity they had heard
in other boarding houses, and deity
hiding under the edge of the plate any
little incumbrance they didn't want to
see.
A West Hill man painted forocious
looking sign, ''Look out for the dog"
and put it up in his front yard to scare
away tramps. The next morning q
tramp with bad smile, shoulders like
load of hay, club with death smil-
ing out of every knot of it, raped at
the front door, demanded some hot bis
cult, meat, potatoes and a cup of coffee,
and asked pleasantly, "How is the
dog?
Three years ago a young man grad
uated from the West Point military
academy, and came west. His soul
was filled with grand, lofty aspirations,
and he sought in the untrodden fields
of activity il the mighty west, room
for his soaring genius to plume itself
for fight. He braced his feet as he
prepared to shake the globe. To-day
he is the travelling agent for Cincin-
natl corset factory.
Last Tuesday afternoon, Archibald
Hartley, gifted and prominent young
man of this city, said something to q
friend about "the sere, the yellow leaf, I"
and Immediately lost the faculty of
speech, and has not been able to speak
a word since. Dear friends, let not the
teachings of these terrible incidents be
thrown away upon us. Let us lay our
hands upon ourpocket-books and swear
that when we feel that we must say
such things, we will go out into the
woods, or climb down a well, and say
them where nobody can hear us.
Ten Rules for Young Men.