The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-12-04
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sald as dun.
The outlook in Washington-the OBJ
servatory. .e .g
CHARITY begins at home, and ends in
. foreign mission society.
The only trip some people have taken
the past summer was on banana skin.
A wc2M in the chestnut is worth two
in the mouth.
THEY called the old man " rafting"
GOOD talker because his teeth were loose.
CINCINNATI school boys thought:
"Wonder whether Napoleon ever sat
down on a pin without hollerin' ~
Andrews Bazar.
IT doesn't require any very hard
blows to pound man into jelly, if the
jelly be not too solid.-Cincinnati Satur-
day Night.
THE reason that some men can write
such hard, bitter things, must be that
most ink is usually made of iron and
gall.
The girl who is sweet enough to be
called "dough nut" before she is mar
ried, is usually sweet enough to be q
"do naught" afterwards
A FRIEND of ours remarks that the
reason the softer sex call the men bears,
is because they hug the girls so tight.
Logic by the armfut.
$50 ends my TAIL" as the bee said to
the boy, at the same time giving him a
practical illustration of how he con-
Quoted business.
"A LITTLE boy. came to his mother re.
Gently and said: mamma, I should
think that if I was made of dust I
would get muddy inside when I drink"
JAMES PARTON and Bob Ingersoll have
Joined hands. They are satisfied there
Is no heaven, because Sankey says
"There'll be no Parton there"
A POET sings, "And I covered her up
with the kiss I gave" He must have
been coachman and put her under the
bus Oil City Derrick.
WE are offering chrome for a book
agent who is not selling the finest work
ever before presented for public pat
ronage.
He said he wanted her to be his help
meet, and she replied that she could
never be more than assister to him.
Boston Post.
The New Orleans Picayune says: It
takes twenty able-bodied men to stand
and look at one poor little sign painter
while he is at work.
The Paris fashion of ladies taking tea
in bonnets and gloves doesn't seem
absurd toa country boy who often drinks
water from his hat.
A CHICAGO mans nightmare turned
out to be the shadow of his wife's foot
on the bedroom wall, instead of an un-
earthly monster with five horns.
cit is easier to raise a beard than
raise dime," said a young Old citizen,
who has stopped shaving.-M City
Derrick,
eyes," said Johnny, "lapsus may be
the Latin for Slip but I notice that
when mother laps Us it usually means a
slipper"
"ICALLED twice and found you out"
said Mrs. Jones' every good" said
Mrs. Smith; ~ had to call but once to-
find you out" |
"DowN in Maryland there is a black
man who is turning white. We can
match It. The other evening we saw a
White girl turn red"
A MERIDEN man has a mule called
"Confusion." And every time he licks
1t, it only makes confusion worse, con-
found it.
A HARDWARE clerk who was a little
green at the business sent couple OF
lifting jacks round to a customer who
ordered pair of zazors.
THE gang of burglars who work for
seven straight hours to hammer safe to
pieces to secure fourteen cents, know
how a country ministed feels next day
after donation visit.
SCENE in a restaurant: Two ladies
seated at a table. First lady to the
waiter" Bring me an ice-cream,
please" Second lady-"Pll have an
ice too" Waiter brings ice cream and
stewed oyster.
Truth is not only a mans ornament,
but his instrument, says an adage.
That's correct, but if truth was double
breasted ulster, there are lots of people
who would go through life in their shirt
sleeves.
81 don't see how there ever came to
be so many words in the world" ex-
claimed a girl who was studying her
spelling lesson. "Wcll, SIS" said her
brother, "they come through folks
quarreling. You know, one word al
ways brings on another"
LANGUAGE OF the nose: Lightly strik-
ing it with the right fore-fnger-I love
you. Blowing it-Keep away from ME,
or I'll holler! Turning it up-I can't
help it. 1t grew that way. Wringing
it with thumb and fnger--My heart is
broken and Pbe got code id by ed"
Grn.
The new fashions cannot be termed
extreme in any respect, and yet the
models present so many fresh ideas, and
have such happy knack Of appearing
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