Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1879-03-15
THE THEATER WASHER"
How the Foul friends Put Up Their
Jobs at the Memphis Theatsr-
The WaIihOUer who Poses
and the ParQuette Idiot
who OGIes-

| The Memphis Theater 6end Is an animal
| whose Counterpart can be found IN all the
theaters throughout the land, but he has
some pecuharites of mis- own, which dIstln-
gulsh him from his brethren of the same race.
He Is what Is vulgarly called a dress-circle
| ''masher." The word "mash" in slang par
lance means a crush, something In effect ire
sIstIble to toe female mind and heart.
the ''masher,' without knowing it tfor he
Is generally a CoRceited and ignorant
foP who IS unknown in good society,", Is
believer IN that adage uttered by
a wellknov q poet who said that Love was
like potato because 1t shoots from the
eyes,, and he never heard of the reply made
by another poet: Love is like potato be-
cause it becomes less by pairing" The Mem
phls Iheater 'masher Is usually a dandlied
specimen of humanity, of small proportions
mentally and physically. He dresses neatly,
Is especially particular about his upper gear,
his shirt-c0llar, bosom, necktl-, vest and coat.
His hair Is worked up to fancy state by the
barber, and h Is delicate mustache is waxed
and twisted-generaliy upward. lie does
not so much care about MS pants because
these are not seen, and his boots often need
extra blacking. He usually becomes wall
flower on either side OF the theater and back
of the dress-circle. Here his bust can be SEEN
He looks like a cameo, having the frescoed
wall for a background, which throws him
out in impudent and bold relief. lie wears
light-colored gloves, too small for his paws,
and he Is ever pulling at his little mustaohe
or touching his face. He poses and strikes
attitudes so to attract the attention, if
possible, Of some lady In the dress. circle
near by or opposite, and when a lady looks
at him his little heart futters-
he feels that he is lady-killer, and he
knows that he has made a ''mash"
Should the same lady, probably amused at
l.. ~, 10 ~ l,,,, ha
to work with lorgnette and levels his glass,
taking full aim at the lady, and holds 1t
thQre until she turns and looks III another di-
rection. You can see smile on his lips, but
ne continues from time to time to level his
opera-glass at his captive. Should she paw
no attention 10 this, he becomes uneasy. He
moves to The nearest post and leans against
it in posture, which he thinks sets off his APP
pearance to perfection. Should this fail, he
hunts up some other locality IN the direction
where the lady is seemingly looking SO as to
come within the rage of her eye. Then his
glass goes up again and his glance becomes
prolonged stare. Should she again notice
him ana smile at his Stiffness, he mods his
head at her half famiharly, but altogether
lmperhnent'y. But his victim does not es-
cape him when the curtain falls and she
starts TO leave the Theater with her escort.
The "masher" leaves the Theater among the
first, and takes his stand out on the landing,
or at the foot Of the stairway, and again the
lady has to pass through siege of impudent
staring. There is another KIND Of ''masher"
who frequents the Theater. He gets
his work IN in the parquette
down near the orchestra stall. This
fellow Is too indolent to stand up and
become wall-hower, he takes a seat-gen-
orally the end seat Of some row at the aisle.
He is dressed up In all his cheap fnery, and
looks ike the other fellow up IN the dress
circle. Between the acts he always turns
around and sweeps the dress-cIrcle with his
lorgnette, which he rented for fifty cents of
the usher. Then he gets up and dandlly
walks up the aisle aud On through the dress
circle to the door, where he remains, because
he often has not fifteen cents to visit an al
Jacent bar and get drink. When the cur
tain rises, but not until then, does the par
quette masher start for his front seat down
the aisle, so as to attract, if possible, some
from the ladies. He often effects
cheap eye-glass, through which he can
/ ardly see, but 1t answers his purpose to
stare and ogle some lady near by in the
dress-circle. Many thcughtless young ladies
notice these fellows, and this notice Is what
makes them what they are, The personi1ca-
ton of impudent pUppyism. Our reporter,
from back seat IN the dress circle, has
watched these trail male specimens of hui
mainly for an hour at a time, has seen and
caught them at all their tricks while they
were attempting to attract attention and !
make mash" and he felt sorry for them,
because they were engaged In a small, cheap |
unworthy of a man and only fit to |
be engaged IN by idiots or worse.