St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1879-03-22
SAM SNYDER.

Max Aheler Relates Some NarvGE0us
Facts ia His Career.
We were all sitting on the piazza ia
front OF Blyler's store, and Abner Byna
was there, with his legs cooked up against
a poss and bis chair tilted back. DR.
Murray was running his eye down q
column of the country paper, when he
suddenly said:
"Helloa! This is queer! Why: it say
that an English chemist has succeeded IL
disabling whisky from sav-dust."
"That's nothing" said Abner Byny
Tipping his thumb.
"How DO you mean, nothing?" asked
the doctor.
"Oh, it's old, awful old. / knew that
years ago. Did you ever meet Sam
snyder?''
No, never met him"
"Well, Sam was hard drinker-must
have rum by one msans or another. BE
had no money and nobody to trust him
or treat him. So Sam somehow ascer-
tanned that whisky could be made out OF
sawdust, and do you know what he'd
do?"a
WHAT"
He'I get so drunk of fence-rail
and cross.ct.t saw that he couldn't tell
COW from sugar cured ham. Put
him near to wood pile and saw buck,
and let him alone, and bsfore II o'c'sek
he'd turn cut the most delicious mint
juleps you ever tasted
E+sily done, was it?'
Easily? Why, one time his family
tried to keep him sober by putting him
ont on the roof and keeping him there
and do yon know what Sam did? Got
boy to tie wash butler and four feet
Of lead pips to string, and Sam fshed
'em up, and in three days he had turned
every shing'e into cocktails, and he fell
through hole in the garnet in such 8
frightful condition of intoxication that
they had to give him electric shocks froH,
forty.two cell battery to bring him
back to consciousness.
"You know this to be a fact, do
you?"
Certainly; was there. Why, that
man acquired preference for liquor
made from wood, and three times, to
nay certain knowledge, he got mania q
potu from consumption of distilled pine
boards and potato-mashers, he drank up
four sets OF chair legs; and, on Fourth
of July, when his wife stopped bis de.
struction of the furniture, he celebrated
the day by calling in tire or four friends
to drink g new kind OF energetic brandy
that hfd just made ont Of q window>silI
and clothes-prop. Drink Why, sir,
Ipledge you my word, Snyder in single
winter drank up smoke house, three
wash.tubs, and a front-door. Nothing
could stop him when he got going"
Way did he prefer domestic uten-
sils?"
':He didn't. There was woods out
back of his house that belonged to his
aunt. Sand 60 out there with a meat
saw, or any kind of saw he could set,
and In two years he had stimulated his
system with eight chestnut trees, four
one oak, fifteen saplings of
various kinds. Trimmed that grove ont
10 that his aunt couldn't rent it to picnic
parties. NEARLY broke the old lady's
heart, too"
"Did he kill himself drinking7"
"Well, net exactly. I'll tell you how
t was. It seems that he was haunted
or long time with the idea that if he
'ould distill the Presbyterian church
teeple be could turn out an article
hat'd bear a resemblance, somehow, to
Id apple brandy. Queer, wasn't it2 |
But the man was not exactly right his |,
mind was diseased. So one night he got |
N the roof OF the church with a ladder
0 steal the steepIe. When be got there
dunno how it was, but the idea seemed
o strike him to taste the thing, maybe
0 see If he was right about the favor,
nd--he must have been wild when he
i'd 1.-THE actually swallowed the
'eather-eock, and there he stuck, whirl.
lg around all night IS the wind struek
i'm! Dead He vas deader'n Martin
an Buren, when they come to take him
oWn!
y He swallowed the weather cock, did
+
& & Yes, sir, swallowed it,
+ Vel, that wasn't aalf as hard to
1alIow IS your whole yarn" said Blyler. .
& you don't doubt my veraeity, I |
pc r. said Abner. e You do we'll, IL {
u have 4 quarter shout yoa II will I
othe my wounded feelings. only
mt - Il
just at this juncture Blyler kicked t
"a Byng off the porch. and Abner Z
liked away to the next tavern with s
Mt hope that the bartender would give .
credit one more chance. u
Too Heavy for Him. :
This GENES from Waterford, Loudon g
1nty, Virginia: 4 ooIotad 1naatina i