Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-09-04
sips OF Isun.

L
Everybody crosses the is ex-
cept sailors, and they cross tho
c's.
The easiest way to find wo-
man ont is to call when she is
not IN.
The best refrain for a rowdy
song is to refrain from joining in
the chorus.
Temperance reformers should
turn their attention to money
it is always tight.
When a writer was asked what
he was doing, he answered: 90
lpen-ing am article"
/ A few lemons and lots of
Isqueezing can generally be found
on picnic parties.
''People never cough after Ia
king my medicine" advertises a
doctor. Is it so fatal as that9
Of course poverty is no crime,
but pair of pants with numer-
GUS patches are nevertheless
breeches of piece.
"Oh," she said, "I think soda
water is sodalicous." He took
the hint and soda dime on the
harvest field of love.
The brave man dies but once,
while the red-haired youth with
black mustache usually dyes
every forty-eight hours.
''Did you ever see the CatskilI
mountains?" asked a young lady
of her lover. "No," said he,
"but I've saw 'em kill MICE"
Bury us not in Greenwood.
The tombs of wealth and not
the graves Of intellect are point
ed out to the visitor there.
"My dear sir, / adore your
daughter, and wish to ask for
her hand" 'EBut / have two.
Which one will youhave?" Ell
ther."
How rapidly, says the Bur-
lington Hasokeye, man loses
all interest in politics and nation
al finances when he shuts a door
on his thumb.
The Yonkers Gazette has an
article entitled, "What do we
eat?" That depends. If you
live in a boarding-house no hui
man being can tell.
A notice was posted ON a va
cant store stating that "A.Dutch
may be found here after August
L." Some droll fellow wrote
'"man" at the end Of the name.
An exchange says of the air,
in its relation to man, it kisses
and blesses him, but will not
obey him. Blurt says that that
description suits his wife exact
ly.
They tell of a big grlndstonc
in Troy which bursted the 9TH
er week and threw pieces seven
miles. We never believe in
anything where the distance is
over six.
A Vermonter claims that his
State is composed Of the finest
dark loan. In fact, we may add,
sand is so scarce that grocers
have had to raise the price Of
brown sugar.
a man who has n cross wife
says her parents must have had
a pathetic glimpse into the fu-
turc when they named her Hope,
because she is always display
ing her rancor.
crash, sinful man." said up
braidingly the chaplain to the
prisoner, Suppose you were to
die now, what sort of a con
science would yon die with, eh?''
"Oh, my conscience is a good as
new; never used it a bit" said
the prisoner, proudly.
A young girl OF IL lately
wrote to one Of the New York
dailies, saying that she "would
graduate liz Il month and would
like TO secure a posIIion as mani
aging editor of a political pa
per-" but she received a letter
in reply stating that c.lucated
persons are ineligible for such
positions.
"A clergyman, preaching a SER
mon ON death, concluded with
the following observation: 'But
even death, my brethren, so well
deserved by mankind for their
sins, the wisdom Of Providence
has, in its paternal kindness, put
at the end of our existence; for
only think what life would be
worth if death were the begin
ningp'
An old farmer intent on max
ing his will was asked by the
lawyer the name of his wife,
when he grayeIy replied: "Well,