Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-10-17
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Every dog has his day, but the cat
has the night for its own.
Miss Dillaye is the principal of q
young ladies' seminary in Philadelphia.
When the girls don't know their lessons.
they learn that Dillayes are dangerous.
To-day has been called "the pupil
of yesterday" It isn't very we'll called,
however, because to-day comes after
yesterday, whereas the teacher usually
gets after the pupil.
No man knows how high the sensation
of fear can raise him above the ground
until he has suddenly barked at himself
close at his heels with black and tan
dog, in quiet street at Il As o'clock p. NJ.
The sweet potato crop in northern
Georgia is 80 large this year that it is
believed even JEFF Davis will be includ-
ed In the general yamnestry act. The
act begins as soon as the yams are big
enough to eat.
Thank heaven, the tramps will soon
have to go into winter quarters. But
what's the good? There's nothing to be
thankful for, after all. just about the
time the tramp seasoniis over the lecture
season begins.
If Lincoln had not died, ," exclaimed
a political orator, "what would he have
been to-day?" "Alive," sadly ven
tured timid looking man on a back
seat, and the tide of eloquence was mo-
mentarily checked.
Every few men" says an old smoker,
know how to light cigar properly"
That may be true, but we have noticed
that the stupidest of them know how
to tighten another mans cigar-holder,
without the least instruction.
"DOnt sit so far away from me,
Harry DEAR" she said to her lover while
they were steaming up the river with
the excursion, "don't sit so far away
and turn your back to me in that way
people will think we're married."
"The king of the north is the i'm
posing name of new strawberry. If
they could find variety that could
crowd two pints of itself into a gran
gers quart basket, the "boss of the
basket " would be g charming name
for it.
An Episcopal church was consecrated
about month ago at Savanna Lake, in
the Adirondacks, to be known as "The |
Church of st. Luke, the Beloved Ply
sician." So long as the congregation |
doesn't exceed the census of the State, |
there will be name enough to go round.
Cato, since deceased, said "that man
approached nearest the gods who knew
how to be silent even when he is in the |
right" We are never so godlike, then,
as when the man who is holding the |
other side Of the argument is of an iras-
chile temper, and weighs as much as
three of us.
A writer recently set himself at work
to get out series. of papers on "The
Great Men of America" but after dill
gently reading them up in the journals
of opposite political faiths, he came to
the conclusion that we had none at
present, and never had more than one
or two in all our history as anation, and
he could not find out just who they
were.
The National Baptist gives "nine rea-
sons" for dressing plainly on the Sab
bath. Dear Baptist, they are all very
reason that helps us along very COM
fortably without calling in the other
eight. And if you don't know what
that reason is, send us three-cent stamp
for return postage, and We will tell you
on q postal card.
A man was recently married down in
Texas, and we infer from the notice o
local paper gives Of the wedding, that
he was an intimate friend of the editor.
The journal remarks: We would
have preferred giving our readers an
account of his hanging, but this is a
world of disappointments. However,
we hope to make our readers happier
the next time we have occasion to print
anything concerning this man."
Singular, but married man in
street.car can see the look of pretty |
anxiety come over pretty girls face
clear at the other end of the car the
moment she begins to tumble for her
portemonnaie, and he darts forward to
take her fare long before she is ready,
but he can't see his wife down on her |
knees crawling around in the straw |
feeling for the nickel she had dropped,
until the driver wraps the lines about !
the brake and comes in to help her.
"Man is fearfully and wonderfully
made and probably the mysteries Of
the human frame will not be under
stood for two or three centuries. A
man who will be tired to death, and
feel his faltering legs give way under
him in utter exhaustion after he has |
walked up and down the room with ten
pounds Of baby and ton of collie for
half an hour, will hand them over to
his wife, and go down town and walk
around billiard-table till two o'clock
in the morning, and then be astonished
because the other man wants to 60 homo
$50 early"
HE GNUs OF THE DAY." Where's
the gnu, Mr.. Snowman anxiously
inquired the deacon, who had brought |
his little grandson, two years old next
August, to see the animals.
"Ain't any, that's visible, " calmly re-
piled the Snowman.
"Well, what have you done with |