The Portland daily press., 1879-04-14
Cap and Bells.

9Toih .!Toil wise man to youth one day:
,ten your aim in Life, pray
mighty general I'd be-"
hepned the youth ambtiously.
Then quoth the stripping to the sage:
~ mrIell me your aim In your old ageo
unen said the sage, a little tired,
AIN oh! lhaye no aim; !; Pve fred.'
Harvard Crimson.
The best are the cheapest. This il more az.
peclalIy so in the matter of wives
New Haven Register: A. monarch of the
seize-the sheriff.
New Orleans Picayune: BARRIERS wear slip-
pers because they will not dye with itheir boots
Mefiden Recorder: An Arab who nyented
lives -' 'p-'' '''A'
Wheeling Leader: If q mule had as many
legs as roach this country wouldn't be SO
thickly populated.
New Haven Register: Five barrels of arnics
arrived in this city, yesterday. in anticipation
OF the base ball season.
New Haven Register There Is nothing tast
"euts to the quick of twelve-year-old Young
ster so thoroughly as to pstronizingly call him
"Bub'
Syracuse Times: A wretched old bachelor
wants to know how many laps the average
young man makes during an evenings courting
week bt fore marriage.
Hawkeye: The Recent Paris Exposition
came out like the daily paper that is started to
"fll long-felt want" 1t took in thirty mil.
lion francs and spent fifty.fve million.
Oh, the fckle tickle weather
1t scarcely holds together
For day.
First it snoweth, ,hen it bloweth
Then the angry storm cloud goeth
Right away.
But there's mickle, mckle weather
That would suit us all together
For, take US all together
We're as fckle as the weather.
Whose to blamei
Boston Transcript.
Waterloo Nbserver: Now and then q man
appears on the streets with q white vest on.
but he keeps his ulster we'll buttoned over Il.
O9t in Leadville they kill men for lesser
crimeP than that.
Rutland Inquirer: Our exchanges are max
ing note of various absent minded men, bat
Dobson takes the belt. Coming home late one
evening he very carefully deposited his dog on
the lounge and turning round, kicked himself
down stairs. BE never found out the mistake
till he tried to howl.
AT Court: Eminent Counsel-"Yes, gentls-
men of the jury, you will-oh, know you will,
restore my prosecuted client to the s,ms0f his
wife and little ones, who" The Court
"Your client is a bachelor" E G. with re-
proach j-"Your honor would even deprive my
unhappy client of the pure Joys Of home and
the family" (Weeps. )-Parisian Paragrapher.
The bishop was addressing Sunday school,
and related to the children the story of Jacobs
dream of the ladder into heaven. Closing his
remarks, he invited them to ask any questions
they had in mind. After few seconds pause,
a little girl in piping voice inquired 'If the
angels had wings, what did they want ladder
for to climb into heaven" This was puz.
zler for the bishop He cleared his throat sew.
eral times, grew red in the face and hestitated;
but at last bright thought struck him. Turr.
ing toward the school, be said, "As one little
child has asked this question, perhaps some
other little child can answer it. Now can any
one tell me why the angels wanted the lad
der?" Back came the answer from remote
corner OF the room, Because they Was molt-
ing, sir?' The good bishop sat down.