The Portland daily press., 1879-02-26
Democratic Gree nback hi adouar,ers.

AS soon as the Campaign is fairly opened we
understand that the acknowledgements
Coalition will establish their headquarters 10
Col. Cushman's bacx shop on Middle street.
Col Walker will direct his campaign in person,
issuing his orders through an adjasant. Great
pains will be taken to guard the Headquarters
so that no spy of the enemy shall gain admis-
sion. Col. Cushnap, in cavalry uniform,
armed with hugo sabre and mounted on
rocking horse will guard the street entrance
The more responsible duty of watching the i'm
mediate entrance will be entrusted to Col
Ames. For this purpose he will bs equipped
with aSprlngield musket and two navy re-
volvers. A small boy will assist the Colonel
In carrying this enginery Of war; One that is
deaf and dumb will be employed lest he reveal
some of the secrets. In one corner of the
room literary bureau will be established uu-
der the management of Col john NJ. Todd.
assisted by Coz. Elliot King. Col. Todd has
already begun the composition of some soul
stirring songs. The first stanza of one of tn. N
is very moving, and Col Todd prophesies it
will prove as exciting as the Marseillaise, Here
it is:
We're bound TO bust Republicans,
Because they are corrupt.
The Rothschids sha'nt enslave u.s.
Now let us whoop FER up.
Col. Todd pledges himself with the brain
stimulus that one Goldfish day will furnish to
reel off stanzas innumerable, equally az bril-
liant as this, before election day. There has
been little disagreement between him and
COL King .oacerniDg the eleganes of some of
the above lines. Col. King contends that
bust" is indicate and that ''burst" should be
used, but Col. Todd claims that ':bus,' is
the stronger word All these little disputes
will be referred to board of censors when the
bureau is in working order.
The larger portion of headquarters will bs
devoted to the the military arm of the service
COL Walker will for this occasion be breyested
brigadler general and will wear the full uni
form OF that raok. He has selected for adju-
tapt Col Turner, and for quartermaster Col.
Drinkwater. Tue principal business of Col.
Drinkwater will bs catching Goldfish for Col.
Todd. Col. Turner will be provided with innum-
cradle goose quills to take down the general or
ders dictated by Gen. Walker The general will
enforce the strictest discipline HIS code will
orders will be that any dsserter shall be COM
PEELED to attend the GreeDbAck meeting of Sat-
urday night and listen with unsopped ears to
the Hon. M. Fogg. Dsobedience Of ORD ers
will be punished by compelling the culprit TO
read the spoony paragraphs in the Daily Argus,
The finding of gold dollar in the pockets of
any soldier will result 10 his summary expul.
sion from the ranks and the branding of the
device on one side Of that coin on the victims
forehead as az everlasting marx of his infamy.
This order seems superfluous, but Gen. Walker
says 1t is rendered necessary by the presence of
COL Donneli in the ranks, concerning whose
hdelity to the cause Of irredeemabe paper
there is some suspicion.
Orders intended for distant points will BE- en-.
trusted to the fieet-footed Col Waite, who will
bear them with the speed of lightning to their
destination. To designate his occupation and
increase his celebrity he will have feathers on
his feet in imitation of the messenger of the
gcis. Officers in the field are to report at
headquarters every hour duriag the day, to get
orders aud report progress. Lights viii b. ex-
at headquarters at D. M, when
Gen. Walker will retire. A hard money Dem
ocrat and Greenbaeker will be stationed as
sentnels, one on each side of the generals
couch, and any murmurings of financial opin-
ions 10 his sleep Will b. quickly suppressed.
Un rlslug at 3 a. No. the general and attendants
will take cup of fat or "New Era coffee
and this will be the only sustenance of the day.
There is likely to be good deal of trouble at
headquarters over the fiat living which the
GreenbacEers insist shall prevail there. Fears
are entertained that Col. Todd's Goldfish will
be raided upon and thereby the literary arm of
the service crippled Consultation as to the
best means of bviatiDg this impending diff
Guilty is now going on, but as yet no sa tisfac-
tory solution has been arrived at.