The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-04-19
NUMBER |.
PASSING SMILES.


"DYINe in poverty" said modern
moralist, sis nothing it is living in pow
erty that comes hard on fellow" u
FATHtR-" Why don't you say grace,
Charlev2' Charley" Why, cos I
don't like the look O. them there taters."
AFTER a boy is tired out hoeing
potatoes, nothing seems to rest him more
than dig over a few square rods of
greensward in search of bait. ~ ST.
Iehl sthcy passed n fellow whose optics
we're terribly on the bias, little Dotmur
INJURED, I" Ma, he's got one eye that don't
60"
]" WHAT were tho worst results of the
late civil warp cried Democratic
orator. Widowsl" shouted Jones,
who had married one.
THE difference between a, church
deacon and picture auctioneer--One
takes up and the other knocks down
collection. Us
EXAMINE what undue passions reign
most in thy soul, and take thy course of
life clean contrary to them in thought,
word and deed. is2 iia 81
To detect true jet from the imitation,
remember that jet is light, In support
of this the Boston Transcript refers to
the gas Jet, which is, or should be, light.
And jet these punsters are not happy.
A VERY rich man said: az worked
like slave till was forty to make my
fortune, and / have been watching it
like detective ever since for my lodg-
ing, food and clothes"
To forgive and forget" is impossible.
He who forgives would rob his forgive
ness of meaning II he forgot that which
he forgave, and II one forgets, there Ia
nothing remembered to be forgiven
Ne,o York Mail. -
THERE is living in jacksonville, KY,
an old German who has in his possession
pair Of trowsers made In Germany in
the year 1886. lie has been married in
them four times, and is very anxious TO
use them the fifth time.
THE late Judge Edmonds, being once
asked what he thought of certain
speaker who had loud voice and was
rather prosy, said that he considered
him a remarkable man, for he could fill
house and empty it at the same time.
AN exchange says: You can't
advertise enough in a week to last
whole year, any more than you can eat
enough in seven days to last three hun
bred and sixty-fve; and yet some So
called business men and boarding house
keepers seem to think so"
A POLICEMAN has been lined two days
pay for taking off his boots and going
to sleep. If 1t was on his beat it served
him right. A policeman ought always
to keep his boots on when he sleeps on
his beat, lest he should take cold and
deprive the force of valuable officer.
IT is the fulfilled prerogative Of every
man to make a fool of himself. What
causes no end of trouble in the world is
the perversity of our fellow mortals in
preferring to make fools of themselves
after their own methods to accepting our
own peculiar and darling mode of doing
the same.
AN Irishman who was standing on a
London bridge, said toa youth Faith
and | think know yees; what's yer
name7" "Jones," said the boy.
| P" Jones, JONES'" said the Irishman.
"And knew several ould maids by that
name in Dublin; was aither of them yer
mother" "0i' ~" ~
WHEN the Confederate army was on
its shortest rations, General Lee remon-
strated one day with a straggler for eat
ing green persimmons, and asked him if
he did not know that they were unfit for
food. "Pm not eating them for food,
General" replied the man, but for the
sake of drawing my stomach up to fit
my rations."
WE'D love to be little bird 'i.s
H. Amo q the grasses skipping, ~
| Along the fudding boughs and twigs
a1 In happy freedom tripping g3..-.
To greet the vernal queen that comes
To drown the wintry specter sst4 !
a In waves Of amber brilliancy
| ~ And foods OF dewy nectar.
We'd love to be a little bird,
To frolic mid the flowers, ni4 "a, N
| lI8 To play at hide aud seek within
| The snad' wy em raid DO wers, f
| .@ To fit from airy tree-swnng cots
TO brake EN- b0somed villas.