The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1879-12-04

stranger, as he entered Colonel
Browns law Office. Il called to see
you about suit for divorce
Take seat said the Colonel.
In the first place. said Mr.. Galla-
gher, l want to ask, can divorce be
obtained on the grounds of general
incompatibility?
dunno said the Colonel, Il must
ascertain the facts
Because, if it can, want you to be-
gin sixty-eight divorce suits for me
-to-morrow, upon that ground.
sSixty-eightr u5.f
Let me explain. About four years
ago went to Salt Lake City, and I
was converted to the Mormon religion
When Joined, Bishop Grubb said I
ought to marry, and so proposed for
his daughters, and we were consolida-
ted ct once. On the following Thurs
day the Bishop died. He left eleven
widows. His executors said that 1
could sssuage their grief and get
hold on the property by taking them
ont of that lonely condition, So 1
married them, andAalso pooled in two
sisters of one of them, and cousin
who was single and had cast in her
eye. - #T =. 80
THAT made twenty observed the
Colonel.
Twenty. Well then, the impress
sion, your honor, naturally got around
that was a marrying man, and so the
twelve apostles at their next meeting
sealed to me four widows and an old
woman who were drifting to the set.
Element with no one in particular to
look after them, and SO, as took the
act good naturedly, why on the fol-
lowing week, Bishop Knox got the
apostles to pass over to me the job lot
of his relations, including two aunts,
one grand mother and second cous.
in, and Bishop O'Toole threw in
step sister, mother-in-law and three
miscellaneous orphans, who were re-
lated to nobody. So you see, 1 was
gradually getting quite little family
about me.
Il see,' said the Colonel.
eAnd then, your honor, if any unat-
tatched women would come along in
emigrant trains, they were always or
dered to marry me, so that, eventually
in additian to my other wives, I had
gathered in two Welsh women, a
Mexican, an old lady from the Sand
wich IslaBds, three Peruvians, the
widow Of q Japanese acrobat and q
Kickapoo squaw. / thought the
heads Of the church were q little hard
on me, but / had to submit. -
Did yoa have happy house,
hold2
I'm just coming to that. 1 can't
say that we were all perfectly congen.
ial, our tables differed go. The Bishop
Grubb delegation, for instance. would
want caramels for breakfast and the
people from Peru were determined 10
have CLAIMS. Bishop Knox detach-
ment would insist on cleaning house
at the very time when BishopO'Toole's
relations gave q party. II the Sand
witch Islander and the squaw wanted
to boil dog or two in the soup kettle
there was always fuss with the other
women, and then Mrs. Gallagher who
came from Japan used to make the
rest of the ladies furious by turning
somersaults in the parlor when there
was company, and by standing on her
head on the piano stool. If there
were thirty-seyen days in the week we
should have had washing going on
each Of them. r
mo unanlmity, as it were p observ-
ed the Colonel. p : 8
Precisely. And then Emiline, one
of my first batch of wives, had studied |
medicine, and she was always practice
ing upon the others. She introduced
whooping-cough. And then she put
ipecac in their tea few weeks after
ward, to see if it would give them
asthma and it did. The whole crowd
went round gasping for breath, and 1
think the Mexican woman is short
winded tor life. I demonstrated with
Emeline, but the very next day she
tried to vaccinate the old lady from
the Sandwich Islands by boring hole
in her elbow with gimlet.
Didn't mind you, eh p
mo. And one day about three
weeks ago brought home a poodle
for Julia, one of the youngest ones.
This looked little like partiality, and
Of course the sixty-seven others want
ed poodle apiece at once. Now, 1
am not able to pay dog tax sixty.
eight times q year, SO declined. /
saw there was trouble brewing, and
the next day when I came home every
woman of them had a dog of their
own; been out and bought them.
They ranged from bloodhounds to
black-and-terriers. l demonstrated,
and then-well, the women began to
cry. and that set the dogs to barking
and then Lucinda went for Julia's back
hair, and the other ladies Joined in,
and the dogs pretty soon began to en-
gage in the controversy, and in few
what might have been a
happy family circle was more like the
battle of Waterloo. So / fled and
took the next train for the East, and
the Mormons, and what l
want to know is, if can have those
sIxty-eight marriage bonds united.
Money is no object if 1 can get loose
Il think it can be done. Call in to-
said the Colonel.
Mr., Gallagher withdrew with the
air of one whose mind had been great