The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1879-08-16
FUNNYGRAPHS.

like England without war on her
hands, Boston Courier.
You can tell young man raising
moustache as fuzB you can see.-Marq.
th0n independent.
A BASEBALL club is not battery
though it contains nine pounders.-
Boston Post.
A MAN never appreciates the keen
enjoyments of fishing, on the part of the
fish, until he gets the hook into the ball
of his thumb.
AFTER purchasing a "TravelerS
Guide" the amateur tourist discovers
exactly how the travellers are guyed.-
New York Neacs.
A LITTLE school boy asked his sister
the other morning what made her wear
" pot-hooks on her forehead.-Norris.
torn Herald.
A BOSTON child remarked, after gaz.
ing earnestly at man who was bald
but had heavy whiskers, His head was
put on upside down, wasn't it?"
THE New York Express thinks it is
fortunate thing for New York animals
that they have nice Bergh on hand
during the hot weather.
The Atlanta Constitution thinks the
most enthusiastic partisans of Chastine
Cox must admit that he has been guilty
Of conduct unbecoming gentleman.
"WELL, little girl, did you have a
nice time playing yesterday" ooh,
yes, sir, played | was fashionable lady
and / put on mammals hair and her
stomachs." Mamma faints!
The most terrible maladies sometimes
result from disappointment in love.
They tell of young man in New York
state who was rejected by his inamorata,
and modification Immediately set in.
Boy, to gentleman who has not given
him any reward for carrying his port
manteau: can please, sir, what would
l say if any one asks me how much |
has to thank you for?'
THE pleasantest way of being hung,
says the Christian Registers is in ham
mock. The whole body is then hung at
once. This assertion is as positive as
though the writer has tried both ways.
(STAGEDooR keeper Ito youthful
admirer:) Will / give the bouquet to
Miss Montmorency? Well, this is her
husband, p'raps he'll take it for you.
{ Youthful admirer does not laugh. y
Judy.
JOHNNY" said fond mother to her
boy, (Which would you rather do, speak
French or Spanish ?'' 81 would rather"
said Johnny, rubbing bis waistband and
looking expressively at the table, Il
would rather talk Turkey"
The other day New York citizen,
beholding policeman approaching, was
filled with fear of q clubbing, and set up
a cry of "help! murderl stop thief!"
and was amazed at seeing the policeman
turn, run and hide himself
behind an ash barrel.-Boston Post.
"EvER since the hangman started on
his weary endless rounds some months
ago in Texas, and in fact, ever since the
of the old alcalde," says
Texas paper, the pocket-on-the-hip has
lost its decorating properties, and less
blood has been spilled than for any
equal period for years past"
"FoR Both of "a young Paris
ian lady after being relieved of a tor
menting tooth, laid down ten francs in
payment. Looking at the fee contempt
uously, the dentist asked If that was for
his servant. "No, SIR" responded
with a sweet smile, cit is for
both of you" Chambers Journal.
"PIzARRo was the play. A verdant
actor was cast for one of the smaller
roles. To him fell the line: "My lord,
meath yonder palm we have captured a
cacique. What is your pleasure?" The
fellow, when his cue came, rushed upon
the stage, exclaiming: My lord,
meath yonder palm we have captured a
cask. What is your pleasure? Roll
it in" howled the tragedian, and let's
bust in the bung!"
A YoRKvILLE young lady has invent
ed q capital plan to keep horse up to
his pace when she sets out riding with
her lover. She doesn't like the use of
the whip, and so, when the animal lags
a little in his gait, she turns to Theodore
a pair of rosy lips, and then an en-
phatic smack breaks the stiffness, ard
then the horse springs forward at the
sound as if he had been touched by an
electric battery.
IT is pretty hard to throw off old hab-
its all at once. 4 Nebraska dealer in
agricultural implements " got religion"
felt it his duty to point out the way to
others, and said to farmer: "Brother
Jones, [ will guarantee that if you Join
our church you will not only find it the
best in the market, but it will take you
straight through without any further
inventory. Give it a trial, and if not
| will take back your relig-
ion and refund your money"
Harry tha-eouorcIybuiIt+ hraa.voor
old of Major Joe II. Stewart, went
around the house and yard yesuerday-
his father had given him line and hook
and turned on all the water cocks.
The house was flooded and the yard and
walks overlooked. He was discovered,
calm and serene, fishing from the door
steps. His parental ancestor discovered
him with "What do you mean, sir?"
The answer was, " How the - could
a fellow fish without ?-Austjn,
Teas, Statesman
THREE young men went bathing at
Sheldon's Point, near Oswego, one night
last week. When they had rubbed
themselves down and were ready to
dress, one Of them missed his shirt. 1t
was most mysterious affair, No one
had been seen on the shore, and nothing
else was missing. While they were
searching for the shirt g sober old COW
was quietly chewing her cud. All at
once she began to cough violently, and
the young man caught glimpse of the
arm of his lost shirt dangling from her
mouth. One cuff button was saved.
THERE'S no money in the menagerie
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