Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1879-05-03

/. Bitd voices tf1mble on the bness.
Thesrovss are ali a-hum.
ies nnttsIcups pep thro, The grass,
0 lady iniri O LADY fairf
Pot on your nwettett fsiiln,
Ana you, young man, with Eekron lava
Get out your box Of pills.
SPRING Is always beautiful 10 the roet
who wears green spectscles.
! THE actress with the biggest feet al
ways wants to play Cinderella.
TIE Tins is near at hand when every.
one can have peas 10 the family.
: CLUBS are good for msn who make
home happy BY staying away from II.
The tramp isn't rich, but be can af-
ford TO spend his summer In the ceuntry.
The fute.player stops when he loves
his teeth. The fiddler goes on forever.
NEVER say to a man running across
lots in the immediate lead Of a wild bull,
+" BE not swift to take fenceW
| THAT cruel. hearted Steubenton SAYS
his wiie's easter bonnet isn't nearly as
big as the roll of bills that bought It.
IF man will tell me what he thinks
W his nabors, kan tell him what his
nabors think ov him. Josh Billings.
THE amount of piu money required
by the married woman dependson wheth-
er she uses diamond pins or rolling pins.
You can always tell when the horo
and heroine In play are man and wife.
They infuse no wermth or feeling In the
stage kiss.
SITTING BuJL's medicine man IL
about to issue little pamphlet on the
" Treatment of the Scalp."-[ Burling- :
ton Hawkeye.
SHORT, isolated sentences was the
mode in which ancient wisdom delighted
to convey its precepts for the regulation
OF human conduct.
A MAN was boasting that he had an
elevator in his house. $50 he has,"
chimed in his wife; +" and he keeps it In
the cupboard in bottle"
VEAL this is life. Make this fore,
noon sublime, this afternoon a psalm,
this night prayer, and time Is con.
quered and thy crown is won.
IT was wise man who said, "He Is
passing iich who can number friends
enough for jury--who can lose two or
three aud not be bankrupt"
THERE are some things that are as
we'll kept dark. 1t isn't policy to throw
light upon such subjects as all open
barrel OF guDpowder, for instance.
HYPERcRIT1cIsM, Grace (whispt ring)
-" What lovely boots your partners
got, Maryp Mary (ditte)--" Yes, un>
fortunately he shines at the wrong end"
"He lives above his income"
Was the darx ieprosch he bore,
TIL at lat 1t was remembered
hat he lived above bis stsre.
CHILDREN's & singing breathes Of Para.
disc; clear liquid tones that flow from
lips and innocent hearts, like the sweets
Df flute, or the falling of water froma
EDITH" Now, grandpa, don't the
Bible say our hairs are all numbered |"
Grandpa" Yes, child,
yes !" Edith" Well, grandpa, It didn't
trouble them much TO count yours,
did il %
COMMERCIAL travellers are good
illustration Of the development theory.
This springs styles have about an inch
and halt more cheek than ususl, and
about ton aud three quarters more
baggage.
The child probably destined to be
The greatest OF American naturalists is
already born. He lives in this city, and
s the author OF the remark that "a
sckass is the only animal that winks
With his ears"
SOME men advertise their lives and
he public are generally disappointed
u cause the advertisement promises too
much; others let their lives advertise
hem, and the public always gets more
han is promised.
OF curse no woman ever did such
hir <, but supposing now, for the sake Of
lgument, as II were, that a woman was
o 10 10 church for the purpose OF show
ng oil her new sacque, would it be sac
eligious, so To sp akY
A BAsHFuL young man applied TO
lis village paper for information on the
important subject, How to win wo-
mans love-" The reply was, Kiss the
,abies, caress the cat, and pay strict at
ention to the old lady"
THERE Is no use Of trying to get
'bfbOH W IeilhH Cuu>iNoi VII ny tcliuk
i'm that you took 1t yourself f,r sew
raj years and grew to like it better
han quail on toast. 1t only wraps his
tomach up more and more like scrub.
ing board.
PERHAPS the funniest object Is the
isu who spends his first day in news
aper Office. He tries to appear as II be
ad been In newspaper Office all his
Ia but somehow he doesn't seem to feel
asy. There seems to bs too many
enes In his shad.
ON recent trip Of western steam
oat bread was served out at dinner
ne day which tasted strongly of coal
Il. The captain asked the baker II he
ID not know that kerosene had got into
ie -four He admitted that he did.
Why didn't yon feed the -four 10 the
dickens, theu ?" was asked. "Oh," he
'plied, was afraid it would kill EN-"