Louisiana capitolian., 1879-12-06
home GOSSIP.


"Whd are you for !"
"Well Pm for Witt, now; was an
Ogden man, but when l came to sec that
Witt was named for this State, ] went
for him. You know Grants name is u.
Grant, for United States Grant; and
Witt ia l.. A. Witt; that stands for
Louisiana Wiltz."
We saw one old lady, walking Around,
who was M exception to this mania for
politics. She was as busy as any Of the
rest, but her business was collecting
funds to buy q carpet for the church.
When we came in hearing, she had just
tackled young clerk, who was vainly
pleading poverty as an exemption. He
said his friends had long since forsaken
him; and now his wash-woman had
abandoned him because his clothes were
80 "few and far between;" that his socks
had such big holes in the toes that there
was no limit to pulling them--he just
pulled till he hit the place where socks
most generally stopped then he stopped
and put on his shoes. But the socks
kept working up all day, and sometimes
it was midnight before he could find
them to pull them off. She insisted he
should try the preachers plan of giving
Il tithe of all hin worldly possessions,
and see if there was not an improve
ment in his finances. He consented,
made lavish appraisement Of his entire
wardrobe, and magnanimously handed
her dimc--but with the distinct under
standing that 'LocaW was to devote
few hours every week to general re-
pairs.
Here comes q crowd on their way to
dancing-school; now for the old lady
and the carpet! She stepped up to the
chapcron Of the party, presented her
list and solicited contribution. Unfor-
t'natcly, she found this individual ready
to give religious discussion on church
doctrines; an excuse for worldly amuse-
ments, in fact, anything but dollar to
the carpet-fund. When the old lady
saw she couldn't get the money, she
pitches into the dancing with u vim.
"Don't be so severe" said the advo-
cate of Terpsichorc; lyon don't realize
the Importance Of dancing well. Now,
hero is my daughter; true, she is lVtlc
passed the time of life for dancing les
SONS, but by taking them she sees her
way to secure good offer. She is q
little inclined to be rhcumatizcd too,
and ! am going by Days for some oint-
mcnt for the use of her limbs. She amt
like your Iimbcr-intcd Methodist, always
ready to go off at the pop of violin.
However, l wish you Mcthodists and
yOnr church well. Well all meet in
heaven ut last, but Pm going to join
the 'Piscopals, 90 in iirst-class car, and
get n through ticket. Why don't you
join the Hard-Shclls, or Prcsbytc, ians,
or Mud-Turtles' Then you will be rs
safe as a "coon-skin worked into u hat"
The 'Pscopals, like the Methodist, ad-
nit That You can fall from grace, but
this is the INSTRUMENTATION you fall in
that church, you don't get no big fall"
1t IL such bad time for the preacher
to get his church furnished. There are
80 many schools and different things on
hand now. As yon know, the professor
Of dancing is transient teacher, and
must be paid cash. The other professors
can take stock in heaven, and wait
awhile.
Whether or not tho citizens have
found it o'it, the chickens hear that the
Conference il soon to meet in Baton
Rouge. We have one old rooster that |
mounts the fence almost every hour of
the day, takes kind Of farewell survey
Of all things around him, and gives vent
to his feelings in crowd far more re-
proachful than the one that recalled tho
guilty Peter to Il sense of his crime. His
age, he knows, ought to protect him,
but when they come he knows that ho
will do for pot of soup, and dressed
with sauce, will be very prescntable
The old duck gathered her brood and
took up "wintcr quarters" under tho
house. She ventures ont for morning
feed, but so soon rs that is fin
isled, she watltllcs her family back to
the darkest corner, Kissing warningly
to them Us she goes, ''hid-er, hide-er."
Tle geese in this ncighborhood have an
intuitivc knowledge of the cloth they
send out n party to reconnoitre, and if
they meet stranger they throw their
heads to one side, oglc him with one
eye, and if he has "Rev." attached to
to his name, and "Baptist" to that, they
lift their wings, take Il straight shoot
and fly ont of sight to place of safety.
The turkeys put their heads together in
consultation, and it was soon gobbled
around that no Episcopalians were OK
pccted; so they strut around compara-