The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1879-12-07
CHAT BY THE WAY.

Tight boots and an accusing conscience about
equal in their ability to make uncomfortable.
A man Is just much afraid Of tho things in which
no does not believe no Ia Of those in which he does
believe. No one believes in ghosts. and yet every
one who goes through dark room alone firmly ex-
poets one to catch him aud carry him of.
1t is not SO much the quantity that tells the
quality. The devil has much brains arch
angel. but hedoesnt look at things in the way.
and that's why he is whore he is.
sympathy is valuable when It is adequate to the
occasion. poor tenant went to his landlord on
rent day ana told him that Of his best cows had
been choked to death. She tried to swallow tur-
nip but tho obstinate vegetable stuck last and tho
COW died. Tho Interested landlord demanded the
details and wanted to know whether the tenant was
sure that it turnip that killed her. "Ycs."
tho reply. 1--WE cut her opon aud found 1t fast in
her throat" "wei sir" said the landlord. II am
glad you got your turnip back Now. how about
the rent?'
Maltby and Rogers wcrc both very absent minded.
When they at the Louvre Rogers was inter-
rupted by Q lady, and when he overlook his friend
he said THAT was Mrs. Blank we have not met
for long time that she had almost forgotten me-
and asked IL my name was Rogers" Msltby. who
had listened to tho recital in very distracted sort
Of way looked quietly into the face of the speaker
and said, "And was it?''
There is good story told of q shrcwd boy who
allowed himself to be most Numerically pummcllcd
by smaller boy and who gave as Q reason therefor
that the small boy had father; that the father had
orchard; that his pears wore just beginning to
got ripe. and that the little boy would undoubtedly
ask him to partake of the fruit. ''But" said he
you just wait till pear time is over, and If he hits
mo again won't give 1t to him." That boy will
some time grow TO be rich man. Such genius in
the OF opportunities and such selfdenal for the
snke of achieving end cannot fail Of success. He
will be rich. but no will know too much to pay an
income tax.
The best evidence that man has become "hopc-
fully pous is to be found. in his conduct at the
prayer meeting, but in his conduct at home. II he
says he has found religion. but continues to cuff his
children and snub his wife. may be that he
has picked up some counterfeit and will soon throw
Il away. IT, on the other hand. his religion compcs
him to pay his debts, and makes him cheerful and
forbcaring. both You aud no may have ''comforta-
BILE assurance that the incubation has takon effect
Religion Is like vaccination. IL does not always
stake" tho first time.
TIA man is bald IL IL said to be conclusi vo evil
denco that no has boon thoroughly married. A
smooth head and smooth lfc seldom 60 to-
gether.
II, as Burns suggested, mon should have their
clothes cut out OF tncir cnatnctcrs largo NUMBER
could always appear In full dress black suit some
might wear tho various shades of drab. but very
few could como out. even In tho hottest weather. In
cloar white.
We heard lately thoroughly characteristic story.
Some years ago very lne echo was discovered on
an Englishmnns estate. He was proud of II, of
course and excited considerable envy by its exhibit
ton. One of his neighbours. who owned an adjoin-
ing estate felt especially chsgrine but was greatly
encouraged by nm Irishman who won't over the lands
with tho hopo OF discovering one somewhere. He
declared himself successful In finding the
most wonderful echo hoard, and stood
ready TO unfold his secret for large
sum Of money. Tho nobieman listened TO
tho echo and although there something peculiar
about IL, he paid the money. An afternoon set
for his friends to como and listen to tho marvellous
discovery. "huliol' cricd In stentorian tones tho
Hibernian who had promised to ind echo.
"IIullol" camo back from the hillside yonder.
GLOW arc your" yelled ono of the company. and
ccho answered in q suspiciousy different key. "How
retiring one Of tho company. putting his
hands to his mouth cricd out, ''will you have some
whskeyf Such q question would disclose tho
character of any reasonable echo. It certainly
too much for the which had boon Disco cred In
that estate Judge OF tho surprise of tho party when
the answer came back In clear. affirmative tones,
Thank you, sirr will. IL you please" The poor
follow. who had been stationed a. distance to sup
ply tho place of echo, simply submitted TO too
great q temptation.
That was very sharp answer Of Talicyrand's.