The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-02-06
THE RECENT GREAT FRENCH DUEL.
BY MARX TWAIN.

ATLANTIC Monthly
Much as the modern French duel is
ridiculed by certain smart people, it is
In reality one OF the most dangerous in
stitutions of our day. Since it is always
fought in the open air, the combatants
are nearly sure to catch cold. M, Paul
de Cassagnac, the most inye'erate of the
French duelists, has suffered SO often in
this way that he is at last confirmed
invalid; and the best physician in Paris
has expressed the opinion that if he goes
on dueling for fifteen or twenty wears
more-unless, he forms the habit of
fighting in a comfortable room, where
damps and draughts can not intrude-
he will eventually endanger his life.
This ought to moderate the talk of those
people who are SO stubborn in maintain
ing that the French duel is the most
health-giving of recreations, because of
the open-air exercise it affords. And it
ought also to moderate that foolish talk
about French duelists and socialist.
hated monarchs being the only people
who are immortal.
But it. is time to get at my subject.
As soon as heard of the late fiery out
break between M. Gambetta and NJ.
Fourtou, in the French Assembly,
knew that trouble must follow. | knew
it, because long personal friendship
with ID. Gambetta had revealed to me
the desperate and implacable nature of
the man. Vast as are his physical pro-
portions, l knew that the thirst for re-
venge would penetrate to the remotest
frontiers of his person.
l did not wait for him to call on me.
but went at once to him. As expected.
found the brave fellow stepped in a
profound French calm. / say French
calm, because French calmness and
English calmness have points of differ
ence. He was moving swiftly back and
forth among the debris of his furniture.
now and then staying chance fragments
of it across the room with his foot;
grinding constant grist of curses
through his set teeth: and halting every.
little while to deposit another handful
of his hair ON the pile which he had
been building of it on the table.
He threw his arms around nv neck.
bent me over his stomach to his breast.
and kissed me on both cheeks, hugeed
me four or five times, and then placed
me in his own arm chair: As soon as /
had got we'll again, we began business at
once.
| said supposed he would wish me to
act as his second, and he said. "Of
course" Isaid Imust be allowed to act
under French name, SO that l might
be shielded from obloquy in my country
in case of fatal results. He WINGED
here, probably at the suggestion that
dueling was not regarded with respect in
America. However, he agreed to nv
requirement. This accounts for the fact
that in all the newspaper reports M.
Gambetta's second was apparently a
Frenchman.
First, we drew up my principals will.
insisted upon this, and stuck to nv
point. / said had never heard of a
man in his right mind going out to fight
a duel without first making his will.
He said he had never heard of MAJ in
his right mind doing anything of the
kind. When he had finished the will,
he wished to proceed to a choice of his
last words" He wanted to know how
the following words, as a dying excla-
nation, struck me:
die for my God, for my country,
for freedom of speech, for progress, and
the universal brotherhood of man.
objected that this would require
too lingering death; it was a good
speech for consumptive, but not suited
to the exigencies of the field of honor.
We wrangled over a good many ante
n'orten outbursts but finally got him
to cut his obituary down to this, which
ne copied into his memorandum book,
purposing to get it by heart:
DIE THAT FRANCE MAY LIvE.n
said that this remark seemed to lack
relevancy; but be said relevancy was a
matter of no consequence in his last
words-what you wanted was thrill.
The next thing norder was the choice
of weapons. My principal said he was
not feeling well, and would leave that
and the other details of the proposed
meeting to me. Therefore wrote the
following note and carried it to M.
Fourtou's friend:
"SIR-M. Gambetta accepts M. Fourtou's
challenge, and authorizes me to propose
Plessis-Piquet as the place of meeting, to.
=" AAOi HAnS os uoy ofcdk dS Iu6 Time,
and axes as the weapons.
am sir, with great respect,
"MARK TWAIN"
NJ. Fourtou's friend read this note
and shuddered. Then he turned to me
and said, with suggestion of severity
in his tone: ai- ,sef5'
Have you considered, sir, what
would be the inevitable result of such a
meeting as this ~
Well, for instance, what vould
it be?''
Bloodshedp
" That's about the size of it." said
snow, if it is fair question, what wa.
your side proposing to shed?"
had him there. He saw he had
made blunder, SO he hastened to ex
plain it away. He said he had spoker
jestingly. Then he added that he anC
his principal would enjoy axes, and in
deed prefer them, but such weapons
were barred by the French code, and sc
must change my proposal.
/ walked the floor, turning the thin.
over in my mind, and finally it occurred
to me that Gatling guns at fifteen pace
would be a likely way to get verdic
on the field of honor. So | framed thi
idea into proposition.
But it was not accepted. The cod
was in the way again. proposed rifles