The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-09-11

gerie," but q man Is obliged to use
such blamed commonplace terms as
"shirt" and Knight gown."-Boston
Post.
Sunday school teacher: "You
must recollect that all am telling you
happened one thousand eight hundred
and seventy-nine years ago" Pupil:
"Lor', Miss, how the time do slip
awayr'
"A Michigan tramp who has been
shot at five times by farmers wives
says he has only to watch the end of
the gun to avoid the contents, as q
woman always shuts both eyes when
she pulls the trigger.-Free Press.
That was pretty compliment paid
by a member of the Chinese Embassy
the other night to young lady. Gaz-
ing down at her really pretty shoes, the
Oriental remarked: tsf love your En-
glish large feets." ."-Boston Journal.
1t is said that sit requires a great
deal of boldness as well as caution to
obtain q fortune" II some of the
American people could swap off their
boldness for few caution, there would
be less complaint of hard times.-Mdr-
athon Independent.
England has guaranteed Yakoob
Khan S6OO, 900 q year. The other East
ern monarchs whose treasures are
empty and who want the wherewithal
to live on, will at once go to war with
England. It's tiptop racket and easy
to work. Boston Post.
-" How did you come to get mar
ried?'' asked man of q very homely
friend. "Wen. you see," he replied,
latter I'd vainly tried to win several
girls that I wanted I finally turned my
attention to one that wanted me, and
then it didn't take long to fix things"
There is q village in New Hamp-
shire which has produced twenty-six
editors. 1t was in allusion to this cir
cumstance that good deacon re-
marked: "Yes, there are twenty-six
of 'em, but as they've all left the town
1 reckon the good Lord won't lay it up
agin us. ."-Bostos Traveller.
Glass in the Agricultural College:
Professor-Is there any way to obtain
good fruit without grating or buddingp
Student-Yes, sir. Professor-Please
explain the process. Student-Watch
your chance, and when the farmer goes
to dinner crawl over in the orchard and
steal it--Cincinnoti Enquirer.
-" What are you looking for?' asked
one of the Widow Bedott's two daught-
ers, who were entertaining two young
fellows on the piazza, rather late, one
night last summer, of their mother,
who seemed to be hunting something
around the front yard. "The morning
papers" answered the widow. The
young men left
The game laws should be amended
some more. 1t is all right to impose 9
fine for shooting game out of season
but what is wanted now is a clause in
serted to enable q man to shoot game
and catch fish in season. We have
found it easy enough not to shoot game
out of season. To kill it in season i!
what bothers us.-Norristos0n Herald.
-" poet is to be hanged in En-
gland" Is this boasted land of free
dom and intelligence-thisl land flow.
ing with-with-well, with a grea
many things-going to sit supinely OF
her hind legs and see England, he
rival, making rapid strides toward ,
perfect. civilization without making al
effort to surpass her? Let US hang tw,
poets.-NorTistoson Herold.
Georgia is about to erect a monu
ment to Sergeant William Jasper o
South Carolina, who fell in the assault
on Savannah Oct. 9, 1879. This is tn
hero who leaped from the parapet o
Fort Moultrie and regained the fla,
which had been shot away by bal
from the British feet. On another oc
casion, aided by q single companion
he captured British guard of ten sol
diers and rescued twelve American
captives. tr-.r
Two young ladies from Port Jervis
who are visiting in Middletown, wer
the other night escorted by q couple O
young gentlemen to the pond at the foo
| of Mill street and given q sail abou
the pond in one of the boats, and whel
the boat landed and the ladies steppe,
on shore one of them gave a great sig
of relief and exclaimed: 90, dear, In
SO glad to be once more on uice versa.
Middletos0n argus.
The committee on the sick report
ed that nine members of the Lime Kill
club were sick a-bed, though none o
them had need to apply for relief. :"
tole dem niggers when seed 'em gwin
for ice cream on toast at de picnic da
dey'd Far from it." remarked the pres
ident, as he received the report. I'D
fack am, gem'len, de pusson who can
stop eatin' long as de plates am lef ol
de table mus expeck to pay q higl
board bill. Free Press.
"A waggish journalist, who is oftel
merry over his personal plainness, tell
this story of himself: "1 went into
drug store early the other morning fo
a dOea of unorDhiue for a aicl
friend. Tho night clerk object