The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-07-24

at $3.50 for No. cash; 37Hc for August; 3716c
for September. Oats-No. 2, Sl1c, cash; seller
August, 2S1Sc. Rye-No. 2, 52@52]<c. Barley
Mo. 2, cash, 70@70kc. Mess Pork-SS. 20
@S.75, cash. Lard - $3.50 ASS, cash.
Bu:ter-Good to Fancy, 10015c. Eggs
O6x@O9c. Cattle-Extra Beeves. $4.85@5. 20;
Choice, e455@4U; Good, S435@4. 40;
Medium Grades, g. 75to4.OO; Butchers Stock,
e25O@a65; Stock Cattle, s2.5O@240. Hogs
Good to Choice, @35O@39O. Sheer-Poor
to Choice, $22504.75.
MULTUM IN PARvO.
"A HEN OH porcelain eggs is setting .
had egg sample.
An original thinker never thinks the
things that other people think.
The saddest words of tongue or pen:
II intend to pay; can't say when"
A MAN going fishing can be certain
of getting bite if the mosquitoes are
out.
The barber's golden rule enables
him to shave others as he would shave
himself.
WHAT makes most women wild is to
wait for the postman half an hour, and
then see him walk by indifferently.
GOOD housekeepers hate to put off
washing-day. With them it is " soap
deferred that maketh the heart sick"
The inventor of the Kelly motor
walks to and fro, sorrowfully signing:
| Of sll sad words of tongue or pen.
The saddest are these: it m0torve been.
The earth makes but three hundred
and sixty-five revolutions year; it is
away behind Mexico in that sort of bus
iness.-OM City Derrick. ....
A Boston child remarked, after gaz-
ing earnestly at man who was bald,
but had heavy whiskers: Ellis head
was put on upside down, wasn't it?''
An Irishman, who was drinking the
health of a Bishop, gave this toast:
"May your reverence live to eat the
old hen that crows over your grave!'
NEVER underestimate your own
ability. How absurd to expect others
will rate us higher than the sum at
which we are willing to hire ourselves
to them.
If there is any other little game or
sport in which England excels, she will
please make it known in season for
something American to take the BELT
N. o. Picayune.
NOTHING exceeds that peaceful calm
which steals over a young man as he
| sits in the shade and watches his mother
maui a carpet on the clothes line. He
pities her, but he didn't invent carpets.
A YOUNG lady in town is we'll connected.
In her talk was very affected;
For neither she always said nither;
And one day at the dentists.
Before her tooth was elected.
She said she believed she'd take ither."
Wheeling Leader.
METHOD goes far to prevent trouble
| in business; it makes all tasks easy,
binders confusion, renders haste un-
necessary, and teaches us what to do
and how to do it at the proper time
Iona State Register.
HERE'S nice question for the de-
batting societies: Which had you rather
be, an heir of Anneke JAMS or the man
who succeeds to the claimantship left
vacant by the death of Prince Ma
poleon?-Albany Eve,sing Journal.
JOHN BULL, as he looks at the cups
won by Parole and ponders upon Wes-
toms victory upon the land and Ham
lan's upon the water, remarks: Well,
any way, I'm q terrible fellow at check
ers and backgammon.''-Albany Evess-
inc Journal.
JOHN B. COUGH, in a lecture in En-
gland, referring to the question wheth-
er alcohol was q food or q medicine,
remarked that in his opinion it was
every much like sitting down on a
hornets nest-stimulatmg but not
nourishing."
We don't believe, as general thing,
in bridesmaids Dragging about his
goods; if they are good they'll show it
quickly enough; but the dressmakex,
now-why, every lady will say that
putting adds to the beauty of Dress
Boston Transcript.
ONE Of the charges against Seneca
Falls IN. ~ minister is that he hired
livery horse and wagon, was gone
two days, snapped horses six different
times, and came back to the stable with
the same horse he took out, having
made one hundred dollars by the oper-
alton.
WHEN man is standing with one
foot on a truck and the other on a case
on the sidewalk, and the horse sudden
~ starts and causes him to open like a
pair of shears, the rapidity with which
he can't decide what to do is one of the
most insoluble phenomena of human
nature.-M. =. Star.
"YOUNG man." said q stern old
professor to student who had been
charged with kissing one of his daugh-
ters.'young man, don't get into that
habit. You'll find that kissing is like
eating soup with fork" ''How SO,
sirP' asked the student. "Because,"
answered the stern old professor, "you
can't get enough of it."
A BOY had always declined to eat
oatmeal, although his mother had
urged it upon him as strengthening
diet. Suddenly he surprised her by
one morning eating liberal plateful
and calling for more. When she asked
for an explanation he replied: 81 am
bound to eat oatmeal till get strong
enough to whip Georgy Scott
A NEW comet is coming-sit down,
sit down, sit down; what's the use of
getting excited? 1t is only visible from
the second peak of Mount Avthimbo-
guandalahasta in Central Asia, and
only there with three-story telescope.
l s'AA~~ SAAOAA ~ Ac VAAy vAoAOA0 UWOuCy u4ue
utes at midnight, and not then unless
the atmosphere is exactly right; and
when it is visible it only looks like q
star about half the size of the little one
10 Jobs coffin. BY all the starry worlds
that swing in space, when "we'' were
boy the comets used to come around
every summer, with heads on them like
fire-balloons, and tails that stretched
from tho big dpper to the southern
cross, and wagged back and forth like
. bewildered torchlight procession, and
came 30 close to the earth that they put
the moon out. Out on these single
barreled comets, three for quarter,
that they get up for us in these degen-
crate modern days! We wouldn't walk
from here to Asia to see q hundred Of
'em.-BMrtington Hasck-Eye.
The Russian army near the Caspian
Sea are tormented by common black
house-fies. The commander of the