, 1879-03-10

The opera is coming. LII times of peace
prepare for war.
Tint Ohinoao Bill is tho. only ono TINT
wouldn't s'wash."
Cnliforn[n ndvisea the Chinese to 40 to
Ohio md run for tho Presidency.
Emperor William il 40 exceedingly popu-
lat now tlIat wo fear ho Will bo shot a9a!a.
Tho only hair tho Indtnns mover astempt
10 lift ID Bishop l1aro, tho Indian missionary.
Paul Hoyton's swimming apparatus is SO
perfect That we fear he cannot possibly drown.
Tho wintor cutter which slid aloug tho
snow now furnishes swcet rcfngo for tho scttlnp
hen.
Simon Cameron is 80 years old, aud the
Widow oliver Esys sho can never forgat that old
1our-scofc.
Tho absonce Of EX-SENATOR Christianoy will
be regretted. 1tapprars that his pretty wife will
soon follow him.
Tho stock OF ethoronl mi1dnasa which
spring has brought IL abundant1y sufficient to at.
!sly all demands.
Grave-robbera aro rapidly betaking thom-
selvos to tho localities whore tho new,y. .gratuatcd
medical students intend 10 practice.
hIr. Eben Leather, Of Darlington, hfass.,
has had hts uamc changed to Rutherford y. Naycs,
Docsn't As know that there's nothing like Lcatles.
A Oanadian couple, on route to Dakota,
weigh gl4 pounds,-ths man $40 pounds and tho
vito 3o4. They 60 West to grow up With the coun.
try.
Mary CIemmer saya Senator Oonkline
nmlases greatness because IN Ills moral natuse he
has mover riaGn nboyo tbs lo,Ter regions OF hlm.
aotf."
Three hundred divorccs were gronted In
San francisco last year,-from which va iufes that
there ara 4 good many married. people on tho
slope.
Wo Ind intended to publish b1r. Kearney'a
remarks on the veto Of tho Chinese blu, hut We
find t!lcro arc not ''asslcs" enough ln TUE Tim.
uNE otlce.
Bpring, gentle spring, IL here onoe more.
All nature smilan. With tho exception Of tho I'm.
fortunate beings who hayo no money and don't
get treated.
Jefferson Davis is desoribed by the HerdM,
Of Yicksburg rs showing hs ago. but 1t adds that,
though by no u,cAuu vigorous, ho could hardly be
considered focbto.
A Green Bay man knocked = burglar down
with a family Bible the othar Night and for tho
first time there has been quite dnmand for family
Bibles In 0reon bay.
Franco Inns at last Ruoooedod IN estnblish-
ing republican form Of government beyond all
posadventusc. Ono Of her Cabinet officers has bcon
de!scted in CORRUPTION.
III Wow of the increasing number Of TO-
malo lawyers 1t may hc necessary to remind Jury
men that wonsaas toard are very easily started and
aclaom mean anything.
Brick Pomeroy clailna to be ono Of tho
leaders Of the Gfaenback party, when. dear man,
!.o hasn't h1cn 4 grepnbaek in 80 long that ho
doesn't know what It II.
A Kentucky 1nan, aged so, oilers 500 for
wife. Tho sua olferod ID not large, TO, ,bs sure,
but It mnst be remembered that a.heno u only ton
or tiftecn cents a pound.
A1r. Vanderbilt has not compromised with
the contestants Of his fa!htr's will. Very sew Of
u vii! give up couple bf millions un1esa We ara
absolutely compelled to.
An old gentleman rose In the gallery Of tho
lIouac last Sunday and declared that "uongrnss
shall ha caat Into hell." We look for this 10 soon
~ 1t has Democratic majority.
Au exchange tolls US that President Grevy
IL In tho haoit Of carrying bis hands In btu poek.
eta. Thla ta a hAoit which certainly enhances Tho
safety Of other persona pockets.
Tho lonesome county must now worry
along w,thuut my Potter Committee. and 1t will
cone hard on tho industrious liars who are aud
tsAfy thrown out Of employment.
We learn that tho Roy. N1. Murray has
Invented now cursycomh, Thla ought to mod
Gratis tho tynlcsM which ta persistent In declaring
ttae no good comes out OF tho pulpit.
JeR Davis, We 'aro informed by a vjcka-
burg papcr, laa tsetotalof. Eyen o!los he never
tsstcs, though this maY be account Of lts asso-
cIaslon Nilh tho iIaa Of sous.applo tsoes.
1F. T,.ir.,nn 1,A13nuau 4l..A ku.s