The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-10-13

- 4Hf
A bear spot--the North Pole.
The first duty on ito cross It
A drink for the sick-we,l water.
A stirring time making porridge.
| All the rage with the girls-marriage.
The latest thing in boots-stocking.
Busters should be lined for winter use.
The board Of education the schoolmas-
ter's single.
He is a wise Egyptian who knows his
own mummy.
A Chinese belle IN Canton is named
Ting ali cling.
| A town gets along very we'll till it comes
| to its sewer. age.
| Never bother brooding hen You may
spoil the set.
The wheat-grower's motto-Of two wee
wills choose the least.
Mr.. Krupp calls his big gun Love, -
because Love levels all ranks"
Why is rosebud like promissory note ?
Because it natures by falling due,
1t was confirmed drunkard who ex-
claimed, Il had rather be tight than be
president.
The king of the Fiji. Islands is said to
relish Baby Nine very much. He likes
It well wei done, TOO.
1t is getting chilly: it is time to light the
Office fire. Now is the time to send IN
poems On autumn.
1t is current bard who sings, II eat
alone with my conscience" Two to one
he never had less fun in all his born days.
lkSWhat is the difference between farmer
and bottle of whiskey? One husbands
the corn and the other corns the husband.
/ When he is twenty one the boy is sup
! posed to have out grown the switch, but
that is just the age when girl begins to
need one.
a Western editor says that water has
tasted strong of sinners ever since the de-
LUCE, and that's the reason why he takes
whiskey in his'n.
Prisoner, were you not afraid to take
, that money from your employers till-you
mere child In years?" "Oh. yes, sir:
|, | was afraid I'd be cotched.
An Illinois editor returns thanks for a
ceDtipede sent him by mail from Texas, it
being the fret cent Of any kind that he
has received for several weeks.
q "Investigator" wants to know what is
good for cabbage worms. Bless your soul,
man, cabbages. of course. A good plump
G cabbage will last several worms week.
Somebody suggests that one Of the lead
ing topics touched upon ia Thanksgiving
7 sermons this year will DC the fact that the
i next great waIliug-match is to take place
;. in England.
MY good womau,'' said an evangelical
caller, have you got the gospel here?
No, sir, We haven't" replied the old
Jerome, ''bnt they got it awful down to
Memphis. .
Great and serious result often proceed
from very slight causes. Severe disc, ses
/ are frequently induced by neglect of proper
4 attention at their beginnings. Dr.. Bulls
r Baltimore Pills are always 70 be relied up
t on to check the beginning O? diseases.
An earnest sMethndist vas nauied over
j the Goals by q coUuci! Of brother ministers
:. for the sin of exagge~at;rn. He arose and
q said, THE punishment they had judged
T. linn was just. He knew his sin. lie had
d shed barl's sof tears oyer it.
| A bald headed professor, reproving q
pupil for the exercise of his fists, said: wv
8 fight with our heads ct this college, The
tyoung man reflected q moment and then
replied: ''Ah, see: and you butted all
your hair off. u
a young lady was endeavoring to impress
upon the minds of her Sunday school
J. scholars the sin and terrible punishment
:. that for seven years he ate grass like a
# COW, she was astonished by little girl,
II who asked, did he give mik2'
Is T., the painter. is drunk i.om night I'M
d til morning. Poor boy, says the tender
is hearted Mouselet, ''he was disappointed in
IS love. It was great blow to lin, and he
drinks TO drown bis grief" 1T seems,
then" says some ono, that his griei
knows how 70 SWIM"
e An old lady from New Bedford visited
ie Boston recently for the first time, and
# while viewing the attractions of the public
garden was pointed out the bronze statue
of Charles Sumner "Well, | declare. =
% the old lady remarked, II never knew
lSunner was colored man before.
!. A country editor in Michigan thus bids
y farewell to his readers. his newspaper
having expired: Good bye. Toll the
bell gently, This is our last kick. Han
'e die US with care. Lower us gently to
rest. We die natural death The wolf
h is at the door. Bury as under rosebush.
: Listen TO the mockiug- Bird
Young Mr. LoVeberry fell asleep in the
BARRIERS chair last evening. When the
r8zor-man finished his work and shook I'D
W his customer, he remarked sympatheti-
cally and respectfully; Tired. Mr.. Love
berryr Tired, sbir, tired2" replied
r. the young gentleman with dignity. mo,
b shir; cant you shee I'm drunk. you (biel
!; you ijit?"
/ Miss Calino goes for the first time TO
Il view the sea at Dieppe. At her departure
i for home her sister recommends her to
( carry back some sea water lin bottle.
1 | She goes down TO the shore and fills her
( vial with water. Better not Eli it IN
q like that, missy" said a sailor, "bekase it
|: being low water now. when the tide rises
q it'll burst your bottle. Miss Calino, quite
! convinced, pours out halt the water and
o departs.
I To Mothers:-Shouid the baby be suff-
' eripg with any of the disorders of baby
D hood use Dr. Bulls Baby Syrup at once
tor the trouble Price Is cents,
THINK OF IT, that Cough or Cold neg
: lected, may lead TO serious consequences:
IN the early siege of Throat and Lung
diseases. Madam Portcy's Cough Balsana
. is an Invaluable remedy, eau be taken by