Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1879-08-28
FACTS AND FANCIFs


inv Oll Oh the
IL is always oppressive to hear Dersons
constantly striving to say witty or funny
hings.
If there was less style in dress at
church peoplein moderate circumstance
would be more inclined to attend
To any clever married man: Don't
blush TO acknowledge your merit. If your
wife's relatives admit you have any.
An English laborer at Ohham, Eng
land, lately climbed tree seventy feet
high and hanged himself at the top.
A picnic may DO commonplace af- |
fair, yet if rightly located there is con
siderable remnants connected with it.
1t would benefit farmers more if at
tention was turned to breeding fast
walking, rather than fast trottiug horses.
Rev. Abraham Wyckoff, Of New Or
leans, for health and pleasure rode his
horse from that city to Pennington, N.
j., to visit relatives. He occupied ten
weeks in the journey.
Miss Nina Kearney, a daughter of
General Philip Kearney, who was kill
ed during the civil war, was crowned
Queen of Love and Beauty at a tourna-
m9 et at a otk39SsyT aRhiAgT6 r6 81 Portland
Ne, has pair of mittens made from
hair clipped from his large New Found
land dog. The hair was spun into yarn
and the yarn was knit into mittens.
Act one, they meet as in a pleasant dreams
Act two, he'll treat to soda and ice cream
Act three his each, alasl is nearly Played
Act four his girl grows cold, 3C0dt0 sud staid,
Act Ave, just his love is rips and mellow
His girl is sporting with another fellow.
He was inclined to be facetious: what
quantities of dried grasses you keep
here, Miss Stebins n zee room for D
donkey to get intol Nae yop -seif at
home, she responded, "a eet gray
ity.
Whitelaw Reid, of the New York
Tribune, while in San Francisco was
shown through the Chinese quarter Of
that city, which caused him to materially
change his views on the ACCESSIBILITY Of
permitting Mongolian emigration.
One had better sail boldly in almost
any direction than drift without any al.
rection at all. One had better sail in
the maddest storm that ever troubled
the sea Of life, than lie on tho 500 and
drift with any chance wind that chooses
to blow.
A man may go fishing and catch
handsome string of fish aud lose them
out of the back of the wagon coming
home, or have them grabbed by the dog
at the house where he left his team, but
he can never tell the story and have it
believed.
'What is the difference between the
man who decorates old walls and fences
with circus bills, and the pat9nt medi-
cine advertiser who proclaims that his
pills are the best in the world? Answer.
One ia a bill poster and the other is 0
pill boaster. This is physic. ally weak.
The hand cars for passengers in the
Paris sewers are neatly made and fur
nished with cane seats. The line rolls
directly over. the sewers The, air is
described as averaging good strong
smell. Male excursionists smoke, and
feminine snuff perfumed handkerchiefs.
Some Of the victims OF the great Glas.
gov, Scotland, bank swindle tine and
die, and the papers occasionally refer to
those who have gone to an untimely
| grave. r.. Caliwell, of Inverness, was
n year ago WORTH sS05O, ZOO. His thirty
! shares in Che bank made him peuniless
at seventy years Of age. and he was
lately found dead in his bed. Z lGs1
A venerable divine, wborhad been
dining out the night before, went into
BARRIERS shop one morning to be shaved.
He saw that the barber had been get
ting more drink than was good for him.
for it made his hand Shake very much,
lik&Ia - l., l.
gan to give him little moral advice by
saying: bad thing, drink. Yes, said
the barber, it makes the skin remark
ably tender.
In Austin, Texas. almost everything
is plastered over with big patent medi,
cine advertisements. In the COURTYARD
of hotel there is big cistern, and on
it is an advertisement in letters foot
and half long: Smith Diseased Liver
Remedy. A stranger from the north
saw the hotel clerk draw bucket of wa
ter from the cistern on which the above
sign plastered, and then he said, as
though to himself, I've heard it was
sickly in Austin, but never expected
to see people draw off their medicine by
the bucketful.
During their honeymoon they had
been sitting and signing and talking
poetry on the balcony for three hours,
all of which time he had both her hands
tightly clasped in his. Finally she
broke forth: Tommy, dearest, want
to ask you something ASK me hun
dred-a thousand.-a million things / he
exclaimed in reply. well, Tommy, I've
got an awful cold in my head, she con-
tinued, and if | drew one of my hands
away to use my pocket handkerchief,
would you think it unkind Of me? Just
once, Tommy, and then you may have
my hand.
A traveller in China, who took jour
ney in sedan chair, carried by coolies,
gives this experience: For an hour or
| less riding in chair is novel, aud you
have no special. sensation of fatigue. =
There Is an easy, Jogging gait, and you
can look out of your windows into the
faces of the crowd as you pass along.
But after the first hour you grow tired
aud cramped. You cannot move about.
You are compressed into one POSITION.
You ache and grow restless; the jogging
trot becomes an annoyance, and your
journey, if it lasts more than two hours,
becomes the most exhausting form Of
travel known to man.
Mr.. Arthur Sullivan, the distinguished
composer of 'Pinafore, says to an in
terviewer: 1T is not, perhaps, that any
one desires to be unjust in suggesting
that 1 should be writing grand operas
and oratorios; but they forget to think
about what they are saying, and they