The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1879-07-19
THIS AND THAT.

"A new brand of cigars is called "The
lottery ticket" because only one in a thous-
sand draws.
The earth making but three hundred
and sixty five revolutions year, it is away
behind Mexico in that sort of business.
-"In the bright complexion of my youth
I'll have no such word as pale" and she
reached for the rouge box with the clutch of
an angel.
"A lady who was suffering under slight
indlsposition told her husband that it was
with the greatest ilIicultY she could breathe
and the effort distressed her exceedingly.
Il wouldn't try, my dearl" he soothingly
responded.
for half price, as he had but one eye. But
the manager told him it would take him
twice as long to see the show as it would
anybody else, and charged him double.
"A fat French woman despairingly says:
al am SO fat that pray for a disappoint-
ment to make me thin. No sooner does the
disappointment come, than the mere expec-
tation of growing thinner gives me such joy
that become fatter than ever"
"A French newspaper says that in GER
tain Irish cathedral there used to be shown
three skulls, one little one and two big ones.
which the guide described to visitors as the
skull of St. Patrick when he was child, tho
skull of St. Patrick grown up, and the skull
of St. Patrick as an old man.
General Gourko, Governor OF St. Peters
burg, is very practical man. He received
letter which said he would be poisoned.
Not at all alarmed he sent for his cook and
thus addressed that personage: "You see
this letter. Read it. Very we'll. Now keep
in mind, the first time get the collie will
hang you"
"A boy had always declined to eat oat-
meal, although his mother had urged ii up
on him as a strengthening diet. Suddenly
he surprised her by one morning eating a
liberal plateful and calling for more. When
she asked for an explanation he replied; al
am bound to eat oatmeal till / get strong
enough to whip Georgy Scott.
-Abou a week ago an Iowa man died. He
was very wealthy and left three sons, his
only hers, and would you believe it, the
ungrateful boys got together and ran away
with all the property before the lawyers
could get at it and divide it with each other2
There is so much sordid, mean, graspng
selfshness, in this world, that sometimes it
is enough to discourage a good lawyer.
The remarkable and terrible story of"L'
Assomoir," which in one form or ranother, is
taking the place of light, cheerful "Pina-
f)re." 1t has been rendered into English
by Chas. Reade, under the name of "Drink,"
instead of "Delirium Tremens," which it
should be called. It is said to produce deep
effect on drinkers.
"A rustic whose gingerbread is annually
stolen by the elephant was at the circus last
week, aud this time when the appetzing
eomft was suddenly snatched from his hand
be shook his Rst at the huge thief and yell.
Ell while the tears coursed down bis cheeks,
"Darn yer, ye double tailed fool, give that
back here or I'll knock yer two lrunt teeth
down yer old thruat"
Many eigars are like iacts-stubOorn
/ things.
Joaquin Miller is in Chicago Chicago
| has oar sympathy now. su has joaquin.
-Iacs cs-'6'rn tu see Berg, eh? How did
ue treat vtug' B.I|--"t .l-t T4tg, llss-r1te
treated me like a dogi'