The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-09-25
ALL SORTS.
''oh boy, with eyes Of azure blue.
And rlnglets rare of golden hue.
Is 1t your parents poor TO aid
That thus you toll with hoe and spade:"

Up spoke the boy with eyes of blue:
''Oh Mister. viii tell you true
Why thus l early dig and late
I'm hunting worms for fishing bait"
Hartford Times.
Packages warranted to contain the |
means of sure death for potato bugs, with
put poison. were sold at q fair in Illinois. |
Each contained two blocks Of wood, on one
Of which was written. place the bug on
this block and smash him with the other.
--Nortoalk Democat.
THE hens lay the eggs, don't they,
mammal"
Yes, my child
And the cocksP"
No"
The child reflects for a moment and
then exclaims:
"Oh, yes, l understand. They simply
order them.-PGriS Globe.
lWhen a man begins to turn yaller and
fade like gum tree 10 the early fall. he is
about the most convenient thing that a
family of girls and boys with a likely
mother can have about the house. It's
papa do this and papa do that, or won't
you put the children to bed, or wash their
little footsy-tootsies, or tell 'em some
stories, and bring a bucket of water or
bring something or other" all the hvelong
day and a good part OF the night Bill
Arp.
We were astouished, yes, gratifed. 1t
had been given out that all the hand or
gans we're to be attuned to "Pinafore"
this season. Consequently when the mel
lifuous strains of the Sweet By-and-b -
tell gently on our tympanum yesterday. at
the turning of the crank, we took off our
hat in respect to the organisms love for
really standard music, and we never, that
is, shardly Fever listened with such
wrapt attention.-EUeter N. HI NeaoS.
| letter.
Mashed masher: You say that you
want pet name for your girl, that every
fellow calls his inamorata Sweetheart" or
darling or honey or dearest" or my
love- or my bird" and you want US tC
suggest some pet name for her that no one
else uses, one that will be unique anC
wholly your own. Your ambition is &;
laudable one. and will gladly help you
Call her Ferguson. 1t is good name ant
easy to spell, and we don't believe you'll
be troubled by any other fellow calling hi
girl by that endearing title.-BoSton Post
| London Truth tells the following anec
dote: At a recent charity fair a distin
gdished society lady was among those VIII
dispensed tea at a big price by the thin
bleful. A seriously looking gentleman ap
preached and inquired the price of a cul
of tea. 'One shilling" was the reply
The gentleman paid But before the LADY
gave him the cup she first put it to he
lips. and handing it to him said: Now i
costs a sovereign" The gentleman claim
ly laying down a sovereign, bowed to tn
lady, and in the same natural tone said
And now, will you be kind enough to lie
me have a clean cup2' Tableau.
He was a slender young man, abou
FIVE feet eight inches in height. He wor
al opera hat, lavender kid gloves, patent
leather pumps, and a full-dress suit. Iii
white necktie looked like cream, and hi
diamond studs sparkled like the evenin
star.
As soon as he was seated in the parlo
aud Mrs johnson came in, he said:
Il should be obliged to you for te
cents"
You represent AN aid society, I pre-
sume?"
No, ma'am. l don't"
"Ah, let me see-ten cents, Are 80
g not connected with some guild?'
6 Il am not; represent my family"
You don't mean to say that you desir
l. help for your family?'
D Il do"
You look like an opera singer"
Il used ID be one"
by your clothes" continued Mr..
Johnson, Il should say you are we'll off?
y Yes, but amt, all the same. [ wes
= these to beg in. | believe 10 going arouu
dressed up. These ragged, unrefne
: beggars are disgrace to the profession
U He received the ten cents solicited, an
e wandered out, after bidding Mrs. j. good
o in Italian. ,SteubenuiRe Herald
1t There was strapping big young fello
, from the interior at the foot of Woodwar
avenue yesterday. to see the shippin
Several bootbacks had tackled MIN for
job in vain, and they foally got togeth
y behind some lunches of shingles and we
4 into committee of the whole to concoct
q scheme for revenge AS a result, an inn
= cent-looking sinner sided up to a strang
y and said:
D See here, Johnnie, I've made a b
re with the boys"
- wall, | don't keer," was the cold hear
- ed answer.
. I've made bet that l kiu shine one
n them shoes O your q in less n four minits
o. continued the boy. THE bet is a quartz
D. and know you Il gin me a chance to W
& it. Jist stick your foot here, and the j
n Won t cost you cent
III The stranger slowly consented, and be
his watch to time the work. The |,
r. worked fast, and he had a good polish {
e, the shoe in about three minutes. VIII,
d through, he rose up, packed away
: brushes, and the stranger found himself
10 just the fix the boys had planned The
re expected an offer to complete the Job, b
be it did not come, After a moment devot
nd to thought. the young man descended t
, steps to the Harbor Masters boat, reac
- ed out his leg for the water, and sous
o. went the shiny shoe below the surface.
of Il reckon" said the stranger, as
all pulled 10 his leg and half a gallon of "
h. ter run out of his shoe-"T reckon Y
~ boys think you're smart; but none of o
family ever mistook saleratus for salsot
ey and | didn't come to town to have my b,
no cut with buzz sawl"-Detroit Free Pre-
Country life, fresh air, and bathing al
lv all very we'll but if you want 10 clean
er your system thoroughly use a few bottl
N OF DR.. Bulls Blood Mixture.