The Red Cloud chief., 1879-07-24
c y

IT u peculiar feature Of the butter
market ,ha; . bad article outEanks .
good one.-Boston Post.
A BEAUTIFUL custom prevails IN
many parts Of Europe OF planting .
tree upon the birth Of every child II
saves wear and teal Of slippen.-Sor-
rtssorn Herald.
"THE only real bitter tears" says
some one, IN those shed In solitude"
lou may bet your life that philosopher
never saw . te~n-yearold boy coming
out Of the woodshed in company
With his father and . skate strap
HGukeye.
An OIL City boy who had run away
from home, and NJ last returned. was
asked il his father killed the fatied calf
for the prodigal. "Not much" he
replied; "he didn't Kill the fa;ied calf.
but he wanted TO slay the prodigsl."-
Derrtci.
A rRErTILY dressed little girl fell on
4 muddy stree; crossing. The other day,
and 8 gentleman fastened 10 her assist
ance. After cleaning of her clothes he
asked her IL he shouldn't escor her
home. "No, thir," answered the dig
aified little damsel; "if you please, we
Amt been introduced ."-Bost0D Co.'S
rter.
LITTLE Freddie was undergoing the
disagreeable operation Of having his
hair combed by his mother, and he
grumbled at the maneuyer. why,
Freddie" said mamma, "you ought
not TO make such fuss. don't fuss
and cry when my hair is combed."
Yes" replied the youthful party, ''but
your hair amt hitched 10 your head"
-Hqrper's.
THEY were about TO produce at one
of the Paris theaters a play by Meles-
vile and Dumanoir. In a certain scene
one OF the actors was TO read out the
name Of a halter from the bottom Of a
hat. Melesville, who wrote that part OF
the piece, put in the name of his halter.
Dumanoir, in revising the manuscript,
substituted the name of his halter, and
said nothing about it. The evening Of
the first performance both hatters, who
had been informed, were there awaiting
with impatience the moment which was
TO render them famous. Base decep-
49, NJ. opathar pama which Was
spoken. The actor pulled his W hat
ter.
In an index Of municipal officers, Just
published in London, the following city
officers are enumerated: Aleconner,
Bellman, Breadweigher, Aulnager. Bea-
coner, Bear-ward, Bell-ringer, Billet
master, Blower of the Burghmote Horn,
Bridge-sweeper, Brook-warden, Clavig-
er, Cleaner of the Castle Walks, Cleaner
Of the Chandelier in Town-hall, Coal
meter, Conduit-warden, Cook, Corn
measurer, Corn-prizer, Town-corporal,
Deacon of the SAMPLES, Dog-whipper,
Egg-collector, Fen-reeve, Flesh-taster,
CASHIER of Hides, Haymaker, Hayward,
Hog-driver, Horn-blower, Keeper ofthe
Pans and Pumps, Bucket-keepers, Mole
catcher, Moormen, Presenter of Butch
ers, Quickener of the City Tenants,
Sampleman, Swine-catcher, Tender of
the Town Wood, and Weeder of Foot
paths.
THE following amusing story is OF MIR.
J. +. Millais, the famous English artist.
/ He was introduced TO a lady whom he
was to take down to dinner, but neither
he nor his partner caught the others
name. So soon as they were seated at
The table the lady opened fire with the
usual stock of questions. Shave you
been to the Academy al have" said
Mr.. Millais. "And did you notice that
odious old Millais's picturesF" "Well,
yes; | saw them, too" Presently the
| champagne came round. Said Mr.. Mil
lais, with his best smile: 81 am going
to ask you to take wine with me, and
not a mere sip, but to drain your glass
to me, to strengthen your nerves" The
lady pledged him accordingly. Then
said the artist, quietly: Snow that you
ere fortified, l may venture to tell you
that | am the odious old Millais." The
lady put up her hands in horror. "Good
grscious!" was all that she could find to
express herself.
MOTHER GOOSE COOKED OVER.
Little Miss Morett
Sat on a tuffet,
Wondering what her lover would say.
He asked for a kiss.
Which caused her such bliss
She hadn't the heart to say nay.
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard,
To look for her four per cent. bonds,
when she got there
The cupboard was bare,
And she hit the old man with the tonga.
had n little husband,
No bigger than my thumb;
let him travel with Barnum,
And lived on his income.
Oh the dusty coa"hman oughter
Not run OF with his employers daughter.
Little Jack Horner
Sat in 4 corner,
Eating a strawberry cake
When Jacky Is done,
For the doctor they'll run,
To ease little Jacks stomach-ache.
on CITY Dsrrjck
Small Expectations.
A foreign Minister here who repre-
sents-well, say Patasonia-was called
upon not long since By the guardian OF