River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-12-11

shere was no need, as he said, with a
showing wink to the parsol and doctor,
Y caution him about the great city. He
gaew thing or two. He had cut his
eSe-teeth, he had. They would not get
aaead OF him in New York-not much.
And So like Tom Sayers i'll his fight
with Heenan, ne came up smiling; only
fsis battle didn't end in a draw.
: MIR, Green brought to New York with
llim what he called tidy biz of money.
Measuring tidiness by quantity. it was
tsdier than any amount heh had ever had
IA his charge before. He had $4,000
that came from the sale of some farm
land, that was part of his mothers mod
est dover. There was as much more
that constituted the little portions of HE
sisters, Mary Anne and Hannah. He
had still further and not less sum that
had come to himself by way of patri-
Hlony. 1t was to invest all this cash
and make some purchases, and, to say
scoth, to enjoy a little 'ife.' that Mr..
Green came to the METROPOLIS.
Now, he had long secretly resolved
that when he repaired to New York for
this purpose he would do something
more. He had secret hope-nay,
strong desire, and even longj~cc, such
az Mr.. Addison imputes to Cato in his
disposition e wards immortality-to
make some money. He determined
teat when he came up to this great
city his passion should be gratified.
Nor was he entirely selfish in seeking to
indulge it. He wanted some extra
comforts for his old mother, including
an India shawl. He wanted piano.
forte for Mary Anne. He wanted for
Hannah as to whom it had been visi-
bic to the naked eye for two seasons
what was the matter-a fur-lined "cir-
cular." These things, among others,
MIR. Green was determined to make the
money 30 buy. To this end he had
laid in q great store of knowledge. He
had carefully read the advertisements
of Messrs. Chisel, Peterout & Co. He
had noted with appreciative eyes their
Colossal Tripod scheme, by entering
which no one need be without an in
come. He had observed with pleasure
BOW, by this scheme, ''S5 in month
makes 800, and $25 makes $780," and
40 forth. He had marked with Joy
quoted passage from the Burlington
EGqle to the effect that "our editor, from
81 80, made $500 in three weeks" Fired
by these and other golden announce
n1ents, Mr.. Green arrived in New York
to find himself in the midst of the
''Erie" fever.
Is there need to tell what happened?
| We must remember that the mother
aud sisters were not the only persons in
| their quiet village who thought Theo-
| phrastus Green great financier. What
wonder that he, too, should have arriv-
al at the same conclusion, and that,
firmly persuaded of it, he should take
q "hYer" in the Erie. For days all
went swimmingly. The stock rose.
There was what men richer in dollars
than in diction like to call "boom."
Iheophrastus saw himself rapidly be-
coming rich. The India shawl, the pr
aAoforte. and the fur-lined circular
were already in his grasp. Visions of a
| nnw buggy and fast trotter, and even
u acquiring Farmer jones' long covet-
ed ten-acre lot danced before his de-
lighted eyes. He had bought at Al,
and when the stock touched AZ why,
oh why, did he not sell his GOO shares
ard take his s., 500 of profit? Alas, it
was not to be. His fate was so destined
10 be that of the numberless Mr.. Greens
! wao came before, and we fear OF the
| n4mberless Mr.. Greens who will come
AFTER him.
}As the stock rose Theophrastus, gay
OF glove and cravat, disportcd himself
IL Broad street by day and at the
Windsor" by night. He tipped his hat
OK, one side. Re was intimate with
men who looked like hawks and who
permitted him to pay Tor their dinners,
for their coupes, and their tickets to
the theatres. 1t was they who assured
| oJr Spectator that Erie was straight
way going to 60. When after dip to
A., which made him feel little unwell
ter a day or two, it scared to 40, Theo-
rArastus was in higher feather than
ger. The sequel is brief. He went
tfp to Jerome Park one day in very
| ligely company. He took more cham
payne than was good for him on the
Strength of hiy.growing fortunes. When
he came back there was very odd
nAte on his table. 1t was from his bro
khrs. Erie" had cleft OFF, at Al. Mon
| eg was 4 per centum commission and
! interest. They were forced reluctantly
TO charge his account with $1S5 per
diem extra interest for the present; and
they were, ct cetera, ct cetera. Mr..
Green woke up next morning with
very bad headache.
Our readers anticipate what followed.
Che "margin" of poor Theophrastus
was sw. ut away, and something more.
Like Roderigo, with q little more wit
and no money at all, he has gone back
TO Venice-or persepolis Centre. The
India shawl, the pianoforte and the fur
lined circular live only in dreams of the
future. We earnestly hope that out of
the gains OF honest, hard work, and not
from flying kites in Wall street, these
dreams may hereafter be realized.
Meanwhile it Noula be well if the his.
tory Of the adventures Of Mr.. Tneo-
pbYastus Green might be distributed,
like The explois If the Alabama to the
Russian navy, so literally up and down
the laIld as TO save, so far as salvation
is possible, the ignorant and weak from
following in our herO's footsteps.