The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-10-23

VARIETIES.
Made to order-slaves.-
The Home of the Casars-The
Custom-House.
The oarsmen have sculled the last
rows of summer.
Love never dyes, but it will some
times get bald-headed. - Whitehall
Times.
The fact that the Bible starts out
with snake-story is making lots of in
fidels.-Boston Post.
"A man never knows how many
friends he has until he purchases a bill
lard table.-N. Y. Star.
The fall of an apple set Sir Isaac
Newton to thinking, but the fall of a
shingle has made more boys think than
all the apples that ever grew.
The estimated hog yield in the nine
principal pork-producing States this
year is Is, 500, 900. But what the aver
age citizen wants to know is how much
pork he is likely to get for shilling -
N. Y. Express.
Martin F. Upper asks, "Where
are the pure, the noble and the meek?"
Don't know where they are in England,
but in this country they are running for
office.-N. o. Rcdy,sne.
The Philadelphia Ledger informs
an " anxious inquirer" that "poets are
born, not made" We regret to learn
this, for we had intended to take a
block of wood and a penknife and whit
tie out few for the fall trade.-Norris-
tos0n Herald.
"A correspondent asks us what is
| rood for moths. We don't know much
about it, but we should recommend
plenty of healthy, nourishing food.
with seltzer-water occasionally to aid
digestion.
| Judging from the way women cut
hair, even in these advanced times,
Sampson must have been a frightful
sight when Delilah got through shear
ing him. It's no wonder he got weak
and felt all broke Wheeling Leader.
The prevailing style of wide belts
worn by the ladies is calculated to i'm.
press one with the belief that q great
deal of leather betting is going to waist
I-Keokuk Gate CITY.
| -" All, me-" sighed rising young
genius, throwing down his pen and
leaning back wearily. (" You don''
know how much pleasanter and easier
| IL Is 10 Iedu tueSe utIlc pOcIuS OA IuiuS
than it is to write them" Sympathetic
but awkward friend" Cad, how you
must suffer, thenr'
| Willie, aged ten, and Jenny, aget
six, we're playing together. One ol
them was minutely examining fly. 81
wonder how God made himr' he ex
claimed. .s God don't make flies as car.
penters make things" observed the
Il r&1 h<x Cd lof fhav-o ho Atoc
and there is flies. "-PhiladelphiG Press
Very genial was good old Dean
Erskine, of Ripon, when a jocose rura
/ dean said to him in a bantering way,
"I don't see why, if you cathedral
deans have the prefix Very Reverend,
we rural deans shouldn't have some
prefix toor' WELL" said the canny
Scot, with chuckle, suppose we call
you Rather Reverend r'-Temple Bar.
Deep pin my heart 1 feel tits sew
When she hath thread In this shear line
How much needle little wife,
She'll say II she Is scissor mine.
| TSnss-Jouraai.
| "A skinless grape, q seedless toma-
to, weolless peach, coreless apple
and q rindless watermelon are the
needs of the day. Until some agri.
cultural genius invents these peculiari
ties, we shall have to be content with
the very bungling work of nature
Neso Hauen Register. .-.-. q
"A great purple spot was lately dis
covered on the face of Jupiter, and the
scientific question of the day is, What
the matter with Jupep After thorough
investigation of the matter, and the
making of many comparative observa-
tions, we conclude that Jupiter told
Mars he was q liar.-Cincinnati Ga.
zetts. s...-r .,-..r +....-s s,.a..
"A New Jersey farmer put moE
on the end of q long pole, saturated i,
with coal oil, set it on fire, and ther
undertook to dislodge some aggressive
hornets that had erected q nest under
the caves of his barn. He dislodgeG
them. He also dislodged a horse, two
cows and all his summer crops. Nc
insurance.-Norristoson Herald.
IA Tight Squeeze" is an unfortu
nate title for new book. An old mait
will never.no, never!-enter q book
store and ask . spruce young clerk for
"a Tight Squeeze" although she may
want one very badly; and a much be
ruffied and banged young lady will
hardly ever call for "a Tight Squeeze
so publicly, when she is already squeez
ed SO tightly that she can hardly draw
her breath. And q young MAXWELL
young man doesn't go to a bookstore
when he wants "a Tight Squeeze"
l. "A butcher enters the Office of law
yer. "Sir, want your advice. Is tn,
owner of dog responsible for any dam
age that the animal may doP" "Cer
tain1y." "Then your dog has run of
with . leg of mutton from my stall, anl
will trouble you for ten francs
"Very well, my friend, have you fiv,
francs changer" "Yes, SIR" (Pro
ducing them: THAT just makes
square; my tee for advice is fifteel
francs"
Twas Sunday morn, and Rev. Jones
Was breakfasting with Gray;
Said Jones: "Another bit Of steak,
As have to preach to-day"
"Guess pn brace up little too"
Said Gray, his eyes glisten,
And he helped himself to q hunk of meat
"For you know have to listen"
lCrissoeA, Cincinnati Enquirer.
"A lady walking down King street
the other day. while she cast fur-tiv,
glances at the store windows, wa
heard to remark: THAT husband
ermine is such an old muff he won't ge
me new set this fall. I've q notiol
1 to gopher . new boa that sable to fur
nish such things as he had otter. Hell
have to beavery careful; if l catch hin
, trading with that young mink again
I'll make him pull his weasel, or sea
his destiny for him. 1 won't bear
any longer, SO nowm %. p. Dildock, {,
Toronto Graphic.
Some extracts from Puck's dictionar,