The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1879-04-10
Miscellaneous.

Josh Billings suggests that if man is
on his way to the woods to commit sui
eide, and bull suddenly gives chase,
the chances are that he will run for his
life
Secret kindness done to your fellow
creatures is as beautiful as secret injuries
are detestable. To be invisibly good is
as godlike as to be invisibly evil is dia-
bolical.
"Your judges have sentenced you to
death, said friend to Socrates "And
has not nature passed the same sentence
on them p quickly responded the sage
old philosopher
The Columbia Spectator says: "The
Chinese Encyclopaedia meets long-felt
want; no family should be without it.
1t is published in Pekin, and has only
1920 volumes. Price $7,500."
Employees of the Baltimore and Ohio
Railroad Company have been notified
that drunkenness and frequenting of
liquor saloons will be considered suf-
fcient cause for immediate discharge.
There are two classes of men among
our acquaintances whom we never trust.
know enough about, and the second of
those whom we know too much about.
Have the courage to give occasionally
that which you can i'll afford to spare.
Giving what you do not want nor value
neither brings nor deserves thanks in re-
turn; who is grateful for a drink of
water from another's overhowing well,
however delicious the draught2
An Irish barrister, Bethel, who was
ready to take a small fee, and who was
ready to lunch or dine with any one who
invited him, said pompously in cause:
IL appear for the Crown, my Lord"
"Oftener for the half.crown," whispered
a wag
What was her exact intellectual condi-
tion it would puzzle a professor of
to discover. When asked
to boil the eggs just three minutes by
the clock she declared that it was impos-
sible, because the clock was full quar-
ter of an hour too fast.
The story is that Colonel Ethan Allen
was greatly taken aback one day while
in a selfgratulatory mood he observed
that there were never seven other such
born of a woman as he and his six
brothers you are mistaken" said a
Scottish officer, who was standing by,
Mary Magdalene was delivered of seven
exactly like you"
When Lord Liverpoops retirement
from public life occasioned so many
revolutions in the Cabinet, an old wo-
man at Perth one day expressed great
surprise at what she heard regarding the
king s dissatisfaction with his ministers.
Dear mel" said she, what needs he
fash himsep sac muckle aboot the minis
ters-if he's no pleased wi ane, Gamma he
just gang to anither kirk p
In one of the Detroit schools the other
day class in English history were being
questioned by the teacher about Henry
he Eighth, and she finally asked: did
Anne Of Cleves, Henry's fourth wife, die
a natural death p There was an awful
silence for half minute. and then one
Mss stammered out: mo, ma'am-she
vas divorced ~
A little girl in the infant class of
sunday school thoroughly appreciated
he difference between being good from
:hoice and from necessity. At the close
If the school one day the teacher re-
marked, "Beckie, dear, you have been
very good little girl today" "Yesm,
couldn't help being good, l got tiff
neck" the youthful Beckie replied with
perfect seriousness.