The Phoenix herald., 1879-07-05
A Railway Conversazione.

The last time l ran home over the hicago, Burlington and Quincy we ad very small but select and enter lining party on the train. It was 8 arm day, and everybody was tired ith the long ride and oppressed by be heat. The precise woman, with her Rt swathed in an immense blue veil. ho always parsed her sentences before be uttered them, utterly worn out and thoroughly lonesome, was glad to re- bond to the pleasant nod of the big bugh man who got on at Monmouth, {, hd didn't know enough grammar to k for the mustard so that you could Il whether he wanted you to pass 1t to m or pour it on his hair. The thin, foubled-looking man with the sandy patee, who stammered so dreadfully at he always forgot what he wanted
 say before he got through wrestling ith any word with s'W' in it, lit up ith tremulous, hesitating smile as s.noticed this indication of sociability, IT like most men who find it extremely fficult to talk at all, he wanted to talk the time. And the fat old gentle an sitting opposite him, who was so eaf he couldn't hear the cars rattle, hd always awed and bothered the stam- erer into silence by saying ''Hey?" in very imperative tone, every time he ot in the middle of hard word, cooked is irascible head on one side as he saw his smile, and after listening intently dead silence for a minute, suddenly roke out with such an emphatic, im- atient "Hey?" that everybody in the hr started mp and shouted, nervously nd ungrammatically, "I didn't say othing I" with the exception of the oman with the blue veil, who said, ''I hid nothing"
 The fat old gentleman was little an- oyed and startled by snch chorus of Psponses, and fixing his gaze still more htently upon the thin man, said, defi- ntly, Wha' say ?"
 I'll ] w-w-wuh-wuh-wuh-w wasn'- |asn'-I wasn' s-s-sp-speak-"
 Hey ?" roared the fat man.
 "He want sayin' nauthin'," shouted be big rough man, nodding friendly Encouragement to the thin man " he aint opened his mouth p
 "Soap in the South ?" queried the t old man, impatiently. "Wha' for ?" Mouth. mouth, D explained the pre- se woman, with impressive nicety, He said opened his mouth.' The entleman seated directly opposite you Fas-''
 ss' Offers to chew what?" cried the It old gentleman, in amazement.
 Sir" said the precise woman, lade no reference whatever to chew bg. You certainly misunderstood me. !" The thin man took courage from so lany endorsements, and broke in, s'I II d d-d-dud-dud-dud-do 't-don't, l ont ch-ch- ch-"
 "Hey?" shouted the fat gentleman. ''He don't chaw nauthin'r' roared the fg rough man, in voice that made be car windows rattle. "He want a lkin' when you shot off at him p
 ''Who got off?'' exclaimed the fat old entleman; "wha' d. he get off for?" . l" You do not appear to comprehend early what he stated" shrieked the recise woman. ''No person has left be train"
 ''Then wha' d he say so for 9 shout ] the fat man.
 1" Ohl' said the thin man, in a sur Fislng burst of fuency, ''He-he-he d. -did-did-''
 "Who did ?" queried the fat man, liking louder than any one else.
 Num- num- num- -num-n-no-nobody bloody. He he d-d-d-dud- didn't didn' dn't s-''
 "Then wha' made you say he did % owled the deaf man.
 You misunderstood him." inter lpted the precise woman '' he was robably about to remark that no refer bee whatever had been Intentionally ade to the departure of any person om the train, when you interrupted m In the midst of an unfinished sen nee, and hence obtained an erroneous Oppression of the tenor of his remarks. e meant no offense-''
 "Know fencei' roared the fat man, of course I know fenceP'
 He hain't got middlin' good hear :" yelled the big rough man, as apol- getically as a steam whistle could hve shrieked it; years kind of stuffed p
 "Time to brush up?" cried the fat an 'wha' for ?"
 "No," shrieked the precise woman he remarked to the other gentleman at your hearing appeared to be rather bfective l''
 His father detectiveT'' hooted the t gentleman in amazement.
 "N-n-n-n-n n-nun-nun-no p broke in the in man "h-h-h-h-huh-huh-h S. sa- id-said you w-w-wuh-was little dud nd-was a little deaf l''
 Said was thief l' howled the fat an, a scarlet tornado of wrath, ''said I Rs thief? Wha' dye mean? Show m to mel Who says I'm thief Who ys SOP"
 ''Now," shouted the big rough man, nobody don't say ye ain no thief. st sayed as how we didn't git along " well. Ye see he," holding to the in man, ''he can't talk very well, '-"
 Wh-wh-wh-why c-can't he t-t-t-tut- t-tut-talk ?' broke in the thin man, lhite with rage I-I-I-I'd like t-t-o how wh-wh-wh-what's the reason C. c-can't tut-tut-talk as w-w-w-w-welI as by bub-bub- body that's bub-bub-been | lt-tut- talking on this car ever s-s-since be tut-tut-tut-"
 "Hey?" roared the fat man, in an kplosion of indignant suspicion. '' was sayin'," howled the big rough | . an e as how Ina di5n't folL ,niddIin'