The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1879-09-04
''' FAcErroUs ITEMS.


SCENE FIRST.
He is sitting in the parlor,
With Ethelinda on his knee;
And he is just "a happy
As any youth could be-
SCENE SECOND.
Tie lie leaning on I'll gate post;
Perhaps should not tell
But posterlor indications, .
Explain the cause that makes him yell.
ITbe reader will please notice how delicate
ly the above Is put in; and still PLAINLY snow
ing that the old gentleman LED the youtn gown
to the gate by the nape OF the neck, etcJ
An everlasting job-Cobbling.
WHY is a certain office OF q minister like
hitchiug post? Because it's To tie two.
shall never ..smile" again, is what the
topper said, Just before shuifi,ng OF this NOR
tai coil.
Can anything turn coal-dealer from the
error OF his weights asks An exchange. les,
death will do It every time.
What ia the difference between negro and
pied flower? One Is party -colored, ana
the other ID q colored-party.
Theses the devil to pay IN the printing o.
flee every Saturday night.-Solomon Sentinel.
Yes, and there's the devil to pay II you don't
pay the devil, too.
believe Ia taking life as easy as possible,
as the high wayman said rs he placed the muz-
gle OF carbine to victims head and pulled
me trigger.
A man In Gratiot county. Mich. On pe,nk
tackled by large SNAKE IA Diue IscsII s.As ~
the serpent BY the neck ana stfAngieu u W
deafh-Ex This IL nothing. Many Q man
Cs,...-, % .r. Eoh, NJ his
new electric invention, and now miserable
critics make the same thing out OF It with the
"IS 1e~s' "o'A ''Hss
why DO those particles always cons'g"su ~
editors to that receptacle LOT Glincuit snu un-
forseen problems, resemble oeneate younS
lady atared 10 the height OF iasnion! nec4use
they ASSIST In ming up tne aoa,s.0asy.n,
froionged applause. WINE the a"thoF 4"'c'v
withdraws.
on entering his Office one Monday after Eas-
ter, Q number of deliberately carved and bril-
hantly-dyed eggs on his Office desk. Tie took
them is his hands, gaZed on their many
charms and beauties; then skined 'em and ate
'em.
.what are YOU DOING" exclaimed an
angry father. AZ he caught a wayward son
enSrSed In . rpneafedIy forbidden pastime-
pIsving cards. "R,isine the Duce,' was the
denIorshIe nenlv of the Youthful sinner, as he
calmly ordered up the two of hearts. Then
the father raised the duce.
The Atchison no,ice force have been sup-
nlie.i v,irh neyv cans heifs and hiIiies- and are
nov nren.,ed IN Do clnhbino In the latest.
sc,entif;c and most annrovefi manner.
-. .s -. ~ -, n.
rhst we should act with every care;
Or the bra xny fingers of perusers,
WI mingie with our tenuous hAr.
As German was giving his testimony in
An assault and battery case, out In Nevada, ne
grabbed up an ink-stand in order to illustrate,
10 the jury, the motions the defendant made
towards the plaintiff with club. lie was
slightly exc,ted and evidently was not aware
that the bottle contained ink, for whirllng 1t
about his head he remarked, HE hit i'm like
dot and dot, and dis, and dot" in the mean
time flourishing il about till every body within
reach was covered with a shower of ink. One |
party had new white vest sprinkled, and an
other had bis Immaculate shirt-frOnt spattered
with the fluid A large quantity Was also
scattered upon the Jury, and as the constable |
jumped and grabbed the excited witness. who
seemed to have no idea of what he was doing, |
he received drastic dose of the ebony fluid !
in the face. There was considerable mild |
profanity INDUCED in, and as the apparently |
innocent perpetrator of any wrong gazed |
around upon the effect of his Illustrating. he |
said, 81 shust wanted to give der shury an ink
ling indo how dot was done-dot vas ALL"
THE or.nprp,p r,cK ACT.
A Se,ls RIOS h;II-no.tars w.re armament. |
inc the hin boards Wit, Iife.sized pictures of
Ahvssinian VaIck Varks African Glands. |
Asi.tSc NoIuhans Ph;noc.rose. and Hjnno,
no,.muses. horrid sernents- and birds O, end |
iess variety with hriIIi,nt nIumsoe com. |
mingled in chaotic confusion. the otter day.