The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-11-06
BRIC-6-BRdC.


Which is the heaviest horse On the
road? A lead horse. ~
The bloody shirt is O bigger rae
than tho rcd bandana.
Not put up job, as yet: Tho
| Washington monument.
In order to look spruce il is not
necessary that you remain evergreen.
The fashionable young lady will
her hair in style is the proprietor of 4
shc-bang.
Kind words can never die. 1t is
different with the gra. haired bachc,
lor OF youthful t. ..dcncics.
we presume the axlctrccs of rail.
road car-Whccls arc called Journals be.
cause Of their rapid circulation.
An Emcraldcr, being charged will
stcahng wagon, sWorc he had had il
ever since it was Il whcclbarrow.
What is the difference between 4
tree and an elephant? A tree leaves IN
tho spring, but All elephant leaves
Whom tho mcnagcric does.
The ways ofProvidence arc indeed
mysterious. a Chicago milkman has
been Killed by lightning while water
ing milk.
The telephone is!.:making sad in
roads upon good manners. The DO
Iltcst person generally begins convcr-
satlon with a rudo shout of "IIcllo
Who are youW
.-Dcadhcad was the name Of q win
ming horse at Jerome Park. Ofcoursc
nc was!a bound to pass.-Bos. Com.
Bul.
Negro pedestrians arc coming into
favor. Is this IN indication that black.
legs make the most out of walking
matches?
--Paragraphcrs all remind us we
make our jokes sublime, and by steal
ing keep beside us cords Of copy all
thcltimc.-Atlantic MonMly.
Tho Boston Post saws: "Gcncrol-
~, IL tho Grand Viz;cr of Turkey be-
gins his term Of Office with Il clean
si.nrt, the garment will last him through,
his season Of power"
"A mob tarrcd and fcathcrcd q
comic singer out West for clipping with
another mars wife. Ills manancr
pills him now as the "Grcat Fcathercd
Songstcr."
--'I never look upon tie tobacco
nisCs sign Of an Indian girl without a
feeling ofgratitudc for the incs:imublc
boon she once conferred upon our
family" said the man in the summer
ulster. His name was Smith.
There have been four highway
robbcrics in the Yosemite this summer.
ara the hotel Keepers up there arc very
bitter about it. They say any more
competition will drive them right out
Of business.
"A Quaker having sold finc-look-
ing, but blind horse, asked the pur-
chaser: "Wcll, my friend. dost thou
sec any fault himr "Nonc what
ever" was the reply. "Ncither will
he ever sec any i'll thee" said honest
Droadbrim.
Porous plasters were marked
down to fifteen cents by Danbury
druggist yesterday. This is much
cheaper than an undcrshirt, to say
nothing about the saving in washing.
Besides, you always know whore it is.
-Don6ury NewS.
-ApropoS of The recent fatal dra-
matte accident at Baltimore, the Dc
trolt -FIec Press remarks that if that
medical student had been out robbins"
u grave instead of attending u theatre,
the chances arc that he wouldn't have
been Shot. No one ever loses ANYTHING
by attcnding,,to his business.
"A tourist new to the bccr-drink
ing ways ofthc good people of Munich.
asked tho lady presiding at a D0U.
bale if her customers did not frcoucut-
~ become intoxicated. "Santa Maria,
Il
sometimes burstW
-"Is this good moncy?" said a man
to suspicious-looking wight who had
made some small purcha scs of him,
"lt ought to be good, for made it my
SELF" was the answer. With that lie
took the man up for coming; but tho
man, in his defence, proved that he
made the money by boot-making.
Though, madam-tough did YOU
say ~ said the irasciblc boardcr to the
landlady, as he was trying to carve
what was ostensibly a chicken
"1cs'm; and were to give my opin-
ion on the fowl, should say it was
old enough TO have scratched I'D the
seeds of original sin when they were
planted"
= I'M VI hHtuS 10 TIC
excellence ofmy track was so neatly
wordcd and complimentary that / felt
compelled to return thanks, and assure
Rarus that will have the track short
cncd again, SO that lie can trot in 2:1O.
In tho future rs in the past, shall
spare no pains to make my horses the
fastest in the world."- Robert Bon
ner.
Let lis console ourselves. General
Grant said in his speech at Portland
that Federal and Confcdcratcs arc
"now associated together in q country
of which they all have tho right to be
proud" and the organs have already
begun to pummel him about it. 1t is
getting so now man can't be sociablc
even i'll his cups.-Atlanta Constitu-
tion.
Small girl, very harshly, to doll
in toy carriage, dolly having tumblcd
from the seat: "Sit right up, you hor-
rid thing! Don't your dare to do
that again, Or I'll whip Yon.n Seeing