The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1879-11-12
JOE'S WIFE.

WIlte, uly ucsii oiu Shutn, Ao' wy ~.
pose of inviting you to visit US. Don't
d refuse. My wife heartily seconds the
invitation. All, Tom, she's ajewel,my
wife. know if you could meet such a
one YOU would succumb bachelorhood.
She is the dearest. sweetest. best tem-
pered, ,oveliest-the English language
fails me here, but, as you were always
better than I at the " Unabridged" be-
scech you to look therein for some ell
dearing adjectives and complete the SEN
tence. You, who sing about the felicity
# a, Bachelor Hall" when you have
seen my happy home, will change your
tune. You must come, Tom. | won't
takes = refusal. Yours, etc.
JOE HALL.
answered his letter thus:
My DEAR JoE-I thought when | lust
saw YOU | never could be tempted to
ieopardize my peace of mind or my bones
by again placing myself at the mercy OF
YOUR practical Jokes. But have no
other recourse now tLan to accept your
invitation. You must promise me, my
dear fellow, you will not play any OF
your Jokes. A married man ought to be
more dignified, and if you do play any OF
your tricks on me I warn you | shall
board the first train for home. Yours,
etc. >. . Tom THURsTON.
I went. I was met at the train by
eJoe's servant, a man who had a long
BODY, dressed in a long coat, q long
waistcoat, long necktie, long hat
long boots and whose name was Long.
I instinctively hated this man. lie
scrutinized me closely; returned the
scrutiny. He watched my every move,
ment like detective would supposed
criminals. watched his movement as
timid man would a vicious canine's.
We at lengah reached Joe's house. |
anticipated Joe's welcome, but in his
place came the loveliest woman | ever
saw. It is true, as Joe said, I was
always fluent in language, but to this
day I cannot find words to satisfy me in
describing her surprising beauty.
"Joe, Joe," thought I, lit is well for
you that you met her first"
"You are Mr.. Thurston," she asked,
timidly approaching me, and shyly
glancing at me from under her dropping
eyclids. I informed her that was the
parsonage, and inquired for Joe.
For answer that gentleman himself,
who was on horseback, sprang from the
saddle, grasped my hand. and, like the
irrepressible Joe OF old, crieds
, "Glad to see you, old boy! "We'l.
have glorious old times, rs of old.
Well hunt, fish, smoke, ETC., till you
grow SO fat, hale and hearty that your
most intimate city friends won't know,
you. Come, let's go in, tea is waiting.
Pardon me for not introducing you, but
] suppose you introduced yourself in my
absence. Apropos, it was hospitable in
me to absent myself on your arrival, but
business called me away"
So rafting on Joe ushered us into the
coziest little parlor that ever poor
bachelor was called upon TO envy. But
the cozy little wife? What was the
envy of the room, with its adornments,
to the envy of such wife? Must ]
admit it'll might as well own right
here as at any further period of my re-
cital-I felt thrill at my heart. 1t was
a thrill of exquisite pain-a thrill of
jealousy of Joe's happiness.
Joe" mentally cried. "better, tar
better for me if I had declined your in
vitation."
Presently we had a most refreshing
supper, after which Joe and strolled
. out for a walk and a smoke.
JOEL exclaimed, enthusiastically,
"your encomiums of your wife were
merited. She is indeed treasure. By
Jove il could find such jewel would
never rest till won and married her"
20 Joe was on the point Of lighting CT
gar when begun, but paused with up
raised match till I had finished-and
the match burned his fingers. Thought
for time he was angry at my impetu-
osity, but his face cleared away, and tho
old wicked twinkle that feared 50 much
came to his eyes. He grasped my hand,
saying: o,o,o .,,
dearest little wife in the universe. I'm
glad you like her."
After we had finished our cigars and
talked for some time of our old college
days. we re-entered the house.
% " Nellie" cried Joe, opening the
piano, "favor Tom and me with tune
He has passion for music"
Perhaps, Mr.. Thurston-" began
she. but was interrupted by Joe.
"No, Nellie, 7 protest! No mastering
around here!, It's plain Tom. Do you
hear, Tom? She's to call you Tom and
you're to call lher Nellie. Violation o'
this rule will incur my internal dis.
pleasure. Govern yourselves accord
ingly." -, 49,,
Nellie. .
- "No, no, exclaimed, ''it will please
me very mueh-and-I will feel highly
honored to be allowed to address you by
YOUR Christian name"
Pshaw, Tom! It'll please her.
Won't it. Nell?"
She laughed, and gave me bewitch-
ngslook accompanied by nod.