The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-03-06

Good, $41O@4e5; Medium Grades, 9s.75
@4.1O; Butchers Stock, e9.65@a75; Stock
Cattle, $2.90@a60 Hogs-Good to Choice.
S8OO@4.5O. Sheep-Poor to Choice, .$S25
@50O.
MULTUM IN PARvO.
The best known time made by q
skater is mile in 1:56.
A SURE cure for sleeplessneo is to
imagine you have got to get up.
WHEN q cobbler beats his wife, he
does it with shoemaker's whacks.
To THE Return home and
all will be forgiven.-Altany Evening
Journal.
The servant-girl that blowcth down
the crystal chimney is like unto an eel,
in that she is lamp-prey.
WHEN the schoolmaster reduced the
boy to submission it was an unfair con-
test, because it was tutor won.
Why does the new moon remind one
of giddy girlP Because she is too
young to show much reflection.
FLIES are waiting for the approach
of the soda season. The soda counter
is the true home of the happy, buzzing
fly.
SoL1LoQUY by a tippler: The pub
lie always notices when you have been
tipping, but never when you are
thirsty
THE individual who called tight boots
comfortable defended his position by
saying they made a man forget all his
other miseries.
THERE are not enough lawyers in the
lower house of the General Assembly Of
North Carolina to make a Judiciary
Committee of lawyers.
"OH! isn't it just glorious?' was
Princess Louise's exclamation on see
ing Niagara. Lorne didn't say much,
but kept thinking about the hack fare.
-Nev Haven Register.
The long lives of Richard Henry
Dana and William Cullen Bryant 60 to
prove that the pursuit of literature, &C.
companied by temperance, is conducive
to health and length of days.
A LITTLE Milwaukee lad lately drank
q pint of red paint while his mothers
back was turned. 1t is evident that he
had caught the interior decoration"
fever.-Albany EUeaing Journal.
WHEN you see a young woman skur-
rying through the rain, with q new
bonnet on her head and no umbrella in
her hand, it is no misapplication of the
term to style her can unprotected fe-
male"
THE following is posted in front of q
grocery store near Harvard Square:
Wooden pals, six cents each. Notice
We did not steal these pals, but we
think the man we bought them of did. "
Boston advertiser.
| WITH the double-runner at work
thinning out the small boys, and the
kerosene oil-can converting servant
girls into angels, the world bids fair
soon to be a comfortable place to live
in.-Nea0 Haven REGISTER.
| A GENERATION ago who would have
thought that at Bathurst, N. S. w.,
some thousands of spectators would as
semble in December, 1873, to see trial
Of reaping-machines where the prize
would be taken by a reaper from ar
American city Of half a million inhabi
tants called Chicago!
"PLEAsE draw upon the blackboard
an interrogation-point," said a teacher
TO one of her pupils. "Can't make 8
good one," replied the boy. "Draw o
boot-buttoner," said the teacher; 3" thai
will answer" The boy took the crayor
and drew hairpin. Sharp rebuke by
the teacher. Other scholars smile.
A NEWSPAPER correspondent tells o
a Boston schoolgirl of thirteen year.
of age. who, with her strap of school
books on her arm, sat reading in TIN
horse car a book called the "Demor
Bride, or Welded to Her DOOM" 1
had this touching motto: "Hast thol
suffered? If not, this book is not To-
thee"
TINE may obliterate the novels an(
make them mansions; it may make
Christians sinners, and poor men mill
ionaires; but it can never take away
the man by the grocery stove who ha!
Just been reminded of an adventure h
had during the War, and which h,
would like to relate to the crowd.-Er
change.
AN Eastern poet having seen "glin
mering on the dumb, cold lips O
dawn, pale languors of inscrutable un
concern" a Western critic inquire
whether the fellow who happened II
be out about the same time, feeding hi
hogs or splitting wood for his wife Il
get breakfast with, noticed that re
markable phenomenon"
The month of March will be al
eventful one for Detroit. A prominen
citizen, well known ON Change, will
during that month, make the attemp
to walk three million miles in thre
million hours, taking no refreshment
except ginger beer and raw clans. N,
butcher, grocer or milkman suspecte.
of having a bill against him will be ad
mitted to the hall during the walk. ]
he succeeds in his enterprise the ma
who invented the wash-board will n
longer be lionized by the public.
Press.
MEN may escape the law, but thei
own consciences they cannot flee from
Many years ago q young man in thi
city was guilty of an offense agains
the law, an offense which brought SO
cial ruin upon himself and his family
The man and lis offense are forgotten
by the public, yet he lives, and live
here in Boston. But from the day hi
offense was discovered-although, hav
ing escaped the law, he is free to com
and go as he pleases-he has never bee
seen outside of his own home in tn
daytime. Sometimes, under the cove
of night, he walks abroad to take q
airing, and note the changes that thirt
years have wrought, but an ever-activ
conscience makes him shun the light q
day, and the faces of men, and he walk
apart, q stranger in the midst of thos
among whom he has always lived
Boston Transcript.
The Famine in Brazil.
i ALENGTHY and detailed account {
tho famine in Rrazi1 has heen recentl