Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24

L AOl all IltAllSs Win buE COOA BlNNAOc bADW-
ing silvery foam around in little fairy COB
ment she swallowed the billow.
FIeecy-The confidence man.
Lap of luxury-Cat eating cream.
A strapper: The village schoolmaster
Don't get in debt to a shoemaker if
you would call your sole your own.
You cannot always tell by the way a
person dresses whether his pew is paid
A bad marriage is like an electric ma
chine-itmakes you dance, but you can't
let go.
The world without woman would be a
perfect blank. like sheet of paper, not
even ruled.
It has been asked when rain falls, if
it ever gets up again. Certainly it does,
in dew time.
However handsome the sweeping tail
of horse may be, it never can be called
his name attraction.
A mule will behave himself eleven
years and six months, Just to get one off
hand shot at a middle shirt stud.
When a st. Louis girl sneezes it is a
sign of damp weather or rain across the
river-in about two days, when the
spray comes down.
A young lady desired her lover to pro-
mise her that he would never smoke
anothe cigar. "Tll do it." he said sus-
tained by your love, a meerschaum will
do for me"
First urchin: "When a doctors sick,
what makes 'em send for another doctor
to give 'em medicine ?" Second urchin !:
"Cos they can't take their own medicine
its too mean They give it to other
folks"
A little boy refusing to take a pill, his
mother placed it in piece of preserved
pear, and gave it to him. In few min
utes she said, Tommy, have you eaten
the pear?" 'Yes, mother, all but the
seed"
When a woman sends home your
washing, your shirt bosom and cuffs may
be as timber as an old handkerchief, but
when you come to a raw-edged collar
you will find it starched stiff enough to
saw your head of.
The only way to have friend is to be
one.
A fox sleeps, but counts hens in his
dreams.
If you act with view to praise only,
you deserve none.
We seek to control others, yet how
few of us are masters of ourselves.
The CRAFTS that circumstances make in
our character we are apt to regard a
ustive fruit.
knowledge, when possessed by only :
iniquitous purposes.
It is easy to pick holes in other peo-
pies work, but it is far more profitable,
to do better work yourself
We appreciate no pleasure unless we
are occasionally deprived of them. Re-
straiRt is the golden rule Of enjoyment.
Beauties often die old maids. They
set such value on themselves that they
don't find purchaser till the market is
closed.
He is happy whose circumstances suit
his temper; but he is more excellent
who can suit his temper to any circum-
stances.
There is nothing so easy as to be wise
for others; a species of prodigality, by
the way, for such wisdom is wholly
wasted.
Looping off the branches of sin is la
Dor in vain, and always to be renewed /;
there is no way but laying the axe 10
the root.
Give a little to those who ask, even
though you suspect them to be impos-
ters. IT may not do good to them, bat it
will % you.
Insult not misery, neither deride in
trinity, nor ridicule deformity; the first
is inhuman, the second shows folly, and
the third pride.
In the moral as in the physical world,
the violent is never lasting; the tree
forced to unnatural luxuriance of bloom
ears it and dies.
Bad habits are the thistles of the
heart, and every indulgence of them is a
seed from which will come forth a new
crop of rank weeds.
The mind is weak when it has once
given way; it is long before principle
restored can become as firm as one that
has never been moved.
Great effort from great motives is the
best definition of q happy life. The ca
siest labor is burden to him who has
no motive for performing it.
A more glorious victory cannot be
gained over another man than this, that
when the injury began on his part, the
kindness should begin on ours.
Precept and example, like the blades
of pair of scissors, are admirably adap-
ted TO their end when conjoined sepa-
rated, they lose the greater portion of
their utility.
No man starts in his professional ca
.reer wise, strong and thoroughly fitted
for his work. One must gain wisdom by
experience, strength by exercise, and fit
ness by reiterated, and at first often in
effectual, endeaYor.