The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-09-25
VARIETIES.


the world is a big revolver. s'-H
1t is said that Adam attended the
primary Observation-Disclosures Bul-
letin.
The architects of clearinghouse
coffee go in too much for ground plans.
-Des Moines Register.
A wise man has said: e" Common
sense makes no parade" 1t is rough
on the soldiers.-NeD Orleans Ptcayzne.
"A writer stated in recent obituary
notice that "the deceased was born in
his native town, where he has ever since
resided"
Now, whatever would any one want
to abduct an editor for? This idea must
be the form in which Toronto editors
see snakes.-N y Graphic.
"A man sometimes parts his name
in the middle for euphony and beauty.
Even Jacob has good effect ON q card
when placed as j. Cobb Smith.
When John Monigrip's wife asks
for dollar or two for current demands
he smiles sweetly as he says: 80 True
love, darling, seeks no change"
Washington is already making
preparations for the next session of
Congress An illicit still has been dis
covered in the heart of the city
Graphic. T.4
"A Massachusetts, lady is reported
to have scolded her little boy for taking
q drink of water at a hotel For, !"
said she, "we pay dollar for our din
ner. and water is very filing"
Duck and partridge can now be
shot with impunity. Sports
men who have tried it this season say
that it is about the only thing those
birds can be shot with.-Rochester Her.
aid. ....-, ~ 1'-.'
AT Waterloo, Highland regiment
and the Scots Greys met in the thickest
of the fight, and raised the cry of
&" Scotland foreverr' AN ould Ire
land for longer" exclaimed an Irish
Dragon. ,.-.-.-
Correspondent" viii the editor
please inform me where my family can
go on Sundays and be cool and COM
Portable without danger of being
crowded." Answer, by the Rochester
Democrat: Go to church!
Young Wife (shopping)-"Pm
giving a small dinner tomorrow, and
I shall want some lamb" Butcher
"Yes'm. Fore-quarter o. lamb mp"
Young Wife-"Wen, 1 think three
quarters will be enough."i q
Six Iowa tramps had just got nice
ly camped in a small field when the
owner turned in an old bull which was
the terror of the country. Some ofthe
tramps got into the road with as much
as q pair of boots on. but several didn't
Boston Globe. 81.
"A gorgeous English swell, leading
dog. inquired at q railroad station:
:sMust-I, aw-take ticket for pup
pyr' The bewildered clerk regarded
him for a moment, and then replied:
No, sir; you can 60 as an ordinary
person"
"A great many morally inclined
business men will tell you that the peo-
pie of to-day are not as honest as they
were in their time-but they'll shove q
bogus quarter On a near-sighted man
just as quick as man Of more modern
make.-El,nira Gozette.
This idea of the biggest head know
ing the most is all nonsense. The mas
todon had the biggest head of his time
and yet he didn't know enough to go
into the ark out of the rain, and be
saved. The mosquito with scarcely
any head at all. was wiser.-NorrSs-
tososs Herald -. %. = - y
"A little girl at Chambersburg, Pa, =,
was called upon in Sunday school to
say q text from the Scriptures When
the time came she had forgotten her
verse; but from the general knowledge
of Holy Writ she solemnly quoted:
Little children should be seen and not
heard" 'tfG tl-i 49,
-"Why do guns burstP'' asks q con-
temporary, and then devotes nearly a
column to answering the question.
Guns burst. says the st. Louis Post, be-
cause powder is put into them. You
might use q gun seven hundred years,
and it wouldn't burst if you kept pow
der out of it.
What the sewing circle is to the
women the barber shop is to the men,
Rome Sentinel. Not quite precisely.
The woman goes to the sewing circle
when her suit is becoming, and the man
to the barber shop when he is becoming
hirsute. The difference, however, is
not very great-Philadelphia Bulletin.
5 "A bashful Young man could not de-
so he stammered: "Martha, lido
you-you must have-are you aware
the good book says-er, that it is not
g-good that q man should be aloneP'
"Then, hadn't you better run home to
your motherr coolly suggested Mar
tha-
-Martha Rogers, who died q few
days ago at Middletown. Conn.,, for
fifty years possessed fortune; but she
was constantly dreading poverty, and
regularly spent part of her time gather
ing rags and other discarded things in
the streets. A room in her house was
filed with such rubbish. Yet she gave
money literally for charitable purposes
while she lived, and by her will left
$25, ,00O to various institutions.
"A correspondent of the Boston
Traveller says that in watching the
Charity kindergarten she has been i'm
pressed with the guickness with which
the most vicious children, those taken,
in fact, from the gutter, become good
and sweet under the benign influences
Of the. kindergarten. The first few
days it is like menagerie of little wild
beasts, tearing, pounding each other,
talking profane and obscene language,
rebellious, selfish-all the vices being
displayed in miniature. In q week s
time order has dawned, for delightful
occupations have chained attention,
beautiful sights and sounds, and lovely
sentiments set to music, have charmed
eye and ear and heart, harmonious and
dramatic plays have been organized,
kind words and caresses have wakened
new sense Of enjoyment, and in less
than q month it is . little, orderly, do
cile, compliant company, in which all
are agreeable to each other. generous
to each other, forming. little friendships
and making sacrifices.
F. The Capture Of Washington.
A correspondent Of the Hartford
Times writes from Washington, Aug.
"a: The battle of Bladensburg and the
g sbxaxxaixrE Of Wash;xn<tx,.,. D, a.