The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1879-01-25
TnuHS AND ,TIu.t,T.

-SnPtry Is the name OF much re-
spected Lynn Shoemaker. PtObabl,
the original sherry cobbler.
-"Tom," said a man to his friend
the other day, 81 think il is highly
dangerous to keep the lis of smai
tanks on hand nova days" Tim, "
answered the other, II find it more diff.
ficult than dangerous"
"A rRal.eS,ate dealer who died re-
Gently said that he was afraid that he
had committed the objectionable sin.
II he could but recall those words, SO
many times rereatcd, "within five
minutes walk of the depot, '"he might
die happy.
The proprietor of building site
in Wisconsin advertiscs his land for
sale in this wise: ~ he town uf Poggis
aud surrounding country is the most
beautiful which nature ever made.
The scenery is celestial; also TWO wagons
and yoke of steers"
"A mild criticism does one good.
"What vas the sermon this mUrninp?',
asked mother,of hfr child "Nell, q"
was the reply, at was about, let me
see IL was ABOUT twenty inmates. too
ionSi tuaC all remember
Jones, if burglars should get in
your house, what would you du?" "I'd
do whatever they requiled of me. I've
never had ny own way in that house
yet and it's too late to begin now-yes
alas! too lattl
Said a Detroit lady to small boy.
whom she found crying in the street the
other day, 'Will you stop crying if
give y0n pepny?" "Nn," said he,
"bnt ii you make it a nickle I'll stop if
1t mus '"o'
"A tom cat Is more independent
amman 'h"h a man. when man
comes nome at or o'clock in the
morning ne sips IN as quietly as posi-
1,c' Out tIie Iohh cat doh seem to care.
house il apnroaches the lon1nr IL ui,I liz
veil, wa
Somebody has discovered that when
eyer ihe beat Is cut aud hauled in, the
tramp Makes his appearance on the
stuOOle ana demands work Or bread.
The Boston Transcript says: "A
North End man calls hi" baby Mac
beth, because 1t murders sleep" The
story Is Something like that of. the
lriHhman who called his Zig Maud, be-
cause she would come into the garden.
uAb thc,a or, o,,, u
mora of no rreot nnot, MN,
Sweet Singer of Michigan as she read
the announcement of the death of Bay
ard Taylor. And then She resumed
her poem on the "Sad Death of Johu-
ny hopkins by falling Of She'd"
,.yvh;sl,ov I, =,
said a ninister to i,eannn In"os !' ,,n'!',,
said Lines ,.dnn,t ,hn ti,,''. ~
Preacher that we ara 70 o lnu, s"S' nit'
mies9'j "Oh YES Deacon I,"a,. "", cue h't
IL don,t o,, ,',, o,.', 49, ,'''''i o ooi'eo' uuC
-CoIching At strown C,
Iyis,tirr no,. a,hI,,a, ''' ~"
hronci,i1i. t.sIIova ,,,,, ,,.,,, WIN
hanit nr cnipy to chrIcn9n Dan ".,',' ,'o
tG.n.t saN haW G"U"y
EnagnriyI T,ya Irvy roo1 ',, 'i' ulU
fio, tr.ye sir ;, e'0" many p"l-
wa '''>' '''
lis this faiI?" said q stran- er.
in font of a place where a
festival was in progress, aud addressing
a citizen. "Well;" replied the citzra,
my vam IL i"l. pu' tley t"ke every
80 ~ P'o""oy ""u 'i'NeSltH
~ a G t,eT'S t ~ "h oSster soup lo'tel!'
anu N"u uia"n o'""A'
A young lady, after passing the
Cambridge local examination, suddenly
broke Off her engagement with her
sweetheart. A friend eXpostulateI
with her, bat she replied, "I must
merely say that his views on the thru-
sophie doctrine OF cosmogony are loose.
and you must at once understand how
it is for any true woman to
risk her happiness With such per
son."
,oo.,o, o,,uu.,,o.,
% ~, 'o".ne" e'S' +! ", "iIu III tne STATE
by an illiterate preacher wh9
despised education: "Sir, Won bnv.
oeen to college. | suppos.3" uY.s
sir, :" was the reply. ii am thankful .
reoined the former, THAT the Lord has
opened my mouth to preach withnut
any learning" "a similar event -
replied the clergyman, "took nlace in
Balaam's time, but such things are nf
rare occurrence in the present day"
, -.
,Atthur, youlgster OF hVe, fTes~
ioeu us lace anu HahdS win MS main-
u" paints tne olier uay' ahd when lie
p'el ne lleI sooI a''el Sile asked: "NhV,
",aI pave you oeeil uolhg, NY child, to
ser Sout HenuS ~ sucil statt?"
uat , serlet' Salt arthur. You
mus US, 'e,l ulT now you got your hands $"
'ol'eu' can zen you, mamma
Us secret At'hur, said she
lu,'' III Tatues' ho"' II yoa dOnt
r.h ,th me l Shaii certainly Whip you
Ge Uoy nesltateu a moment as II
"a 1slauc'hS us hl'nu between TWO horns
d ulleHIlil' ana inca he said
,'a'ht'Ve'y' fouD WHIP meslt do"
ana he escaped spanking
-''No." the honest farmer ramarLad
n tones of rhe deppe,t dpiectinn I'll
,ig crops don't do us n 6iL of cood
What's the use? Corn onIv tbirt,,