Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1879-12-25
ORIGINAL OBSERVATIONS.


clothes cOrporatlon-lhe TAILOR
Union.
A ditch In time saves the whole crop
sometimes.
Bonner outdone. Hartford has colt
worth S2,000,000.
Human nickels are always trying TO get
INTO dime society.
The people of Kalamazoo dislike to be
called Kalamazulus.
General Shermans daughters refuse 10
dance the SHERMAN"
"Grinderpest" is a very appropriate
name for the toothaChe.
An exchange calls tack on car seat
a 'harbinger OF spring
Michigan has one Senator with hair on
his head and one Baldwin.
Why not use barometer instead of
three fingers to measure with?
Contemplate your first baby" says the
0swego Palladium. Rather spank him.
Both Hanlan and Courtney seem to be-
champions when it comes to backing wa.
ter.
Many time there's slip 'twixt the
cup and the lip, and heaps OF times there
isn't.
A Michigan man was named Hanger
and the idiot christened his daughter
Belle.
The impression that Franklin drew his
Lightning from New Jersey is wrong, quite
wrong.
Even Hayden must be puzzled by this
time to know whether he is innocent or
guilty,
The man who invests his money in mines
must, in order to be successful, mine his
own business.
Some students think it necessary to be
behind in Their lessons in order to pursue
their studies.
Hoop la! Let Pennsylvania rejoice.
The Widow Oliver has resolved to wed
none but an Ohio man.
One reason why Chicago is not
healthy place is because the country
around it is always Ill.
Relief is required for the settlers in
Hodgman county, on the western frontier,
who are suffering for food and raiment.
Private Secretary Rogers has been COM
PEELED to assist in the work of explaining
what the President didn't mean by his
To prevent insects from destroying
young orange trees in the summer, pull up
the trees in the spring and throw them on
the roof Of the shed.
If some of the unsanctifed sinners in
the days of Noah had sawed his boat,
would it have put stop to the race?
Certainly it woud-to the human race.
The air of Texas is said to be a sure cure
for rheumatism. Steal a mule the day
after you arrive in the State, and you will
never have any more pains in your
bones.
When you deprive a boy Of the privil'
ege OF taking off his coat and vest at one
pull and leaving his boots in the middle
of the floor, what do you expect he has tc
live for?
Arthur Sullivan says the Boston women
are the handsomest in the world. Arthur
.hould shelter his eyes with blue glass
before coming out West says the Cincin
natl Commercial.
There have been paragraphs on stove
pipes ll~lhN anu illlNtAANN lAAANi
but it was hundreds of years ago, and
there is good chance now for a young
man with talents.
Texas uses molasses ard feathers when
1t is thought best to re-clOthe deserving
citizen. The molasses doescn't smell rs
bad as tar, while it holds the feathers in
attitudes.
Why an advance in lard should en-
hancc the price of butter is about as dit
fcult problem as is the true inwardnc's
Of the connection between the price Of
milk and water famine.
Postmaster. General Key is about to is
sue an order prohibiting the placing oI
stamps p.slde down on letters. Several
postmasters have recently been seriously
injured while trying TO stand on their
heads to cancel stamps placed in this
manner.
As party of gentlemen and ladies
were climbing to the top OF high church
lower one hot day, a gentleman remark,
I'd: This is rather u spiral fight OF
steps" To which lady reioined: "Yes,
and she wiped her brow MS
,he spoke.
A man in st. John, N. b., bought two
barrels of potatoes which were all rotten
before he had them week. They were
called early rosc," and "Blue Nose,
but he changed the names to Goldsmith
Maid" and Dexter" because they wero
such fast rotters.
Cities all through the West that have
1een increasing in population at the rate
II 100 per cent. per annum by the unalded
Efforts of the poor but honest directory
now "view with alarm" the preparations
Tor the next census. But "they are all
right up to the present time.
The Legislature of Texas is going to en-
net law making it misdemeanor, II not
a felony. for any man to accept a railroad
pass. That is sensible and proper. Then
they should pass a bill hanging any man
who is elected to the Legislature AMI the
session could close covered with glory.
Gambogo (who has brought one of his
paintings to the exhibiticn)-"Mr. Curt,
| have brought one of my daintiest works
a perfect gem, if | do say it," Mr.. Curt
ooh, hang your pictured" tiamboge is
and says he'll hang 1t on
''the line. J." if it's all the same to Curt.
The New York World says four men
were missed in that city Thursday.
Strange to say, observes the Oil City
Derrick, we missed a man on the same
day. We dropped brick out of the win
dow and missed him by two inches Then
he missed us. We were on the roof when
he came up stairs.
Mr.. Standing Bear, the distinguished
indian, heard Joseph Cook lecture the
,ther day. "Heap smart man, said Mr..
Bear at the close Of the lecture. "Talkee,
;alkee, talkee. Big sound. Who wind
lim upP" NO" SAID Mr.. Cook when he
heard of it, "the Indian cannot be civil
zed. He's an Internal brute, and can
prove it"
Alfonsos Bride.
Francis Joseph" says Truth, "has
hown himself generous cousin to