The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-08-20
THE LANDLORDS BILL.
An Interrupted Temperance Lecture.

ldE AANUAVRuS BILL.
An Interrupted Temperance Lecture.
speaking about temperance lecturers"
said old Mr.. Sam Robinson, 1--WE heard
a great many in my life-some with more
and some with less effect. The 1irst,:
ever received was when I was about six
teen years old. belonged to band con-
sistlng ola bass-viol, a flute, and two
fddlers. Twas second fiddle. That was
sixty years ago, when no matter what
happened-a wedding or an election or
an ordination-there was ball; and it so
came about that for five nj ghts running
we played six or seven hours on stretch,
and on Saturday we had to provide the
music at some sort of great celebration
in the city Of H. Now, in order to reach
there in time we had to leave M. at three
o'clock IN the morning by stage-couch,
and expected to get into H. in good time
in the forenoon, so as to have chance
to take little nap. But halfway there
the stage-coach broke down, and we were
detained, 50 that it was one o'clock before
we reached the tavern in H., and the Gel
ebration was to begin at two. I don't
remember what sort of a celebration it
was, but there was to be music. and
speeches by DR.. D. eff Yale College,
and other gentlemen whose names havo
forgotten. Now, not one Of us four had
had more than forty winka of sleep since
Thursday night, and we were so knocked
up by fatigue and sleepiness that we
could hardly keep awake. I had taken
cold, too, On the journey and felt sick and
feverish; SO Spencer, who was first fiddle,
went to the bar and ordered glass of
whisky-and-water for me. It was the
first time had ever touched any thing
of the sort, and I didn't find it at all to
my taste, but sat slipping it and trying
to get through with it, when all at once
into the room strobe the great DR.. D. of
Yale college, the orator OF the day and
one of the biggest men in New Eng gland.
he was tall and stout, and dressed in the
fashion of the time, with ruffled shirt
bosom, knee-breeches, silk stockings snd
silver buckles, and his long gray hair
was tied with a black ribbon. He held
his head very high, and had frigid eve
and stern mouth and triple chin. He
had been dining in one of the parlors,
and now CANA out to settle his reckoning,
pempous and EDITORIAL.
"Landlord,' SAID he, in deep stentor-
ian voice which could be heard half a
mile, my bill, if you please
"1n one minute, your honor-in one
minute said the landlord, whose voice
was a little shrill pipe. 4 was going to
bring it in to you
'And while DR.. D. waited, his eyes,
travelling around as if longing to find
something to find fault with, fell on me.
"'Young man. said he, in his deep
bass voice, what is that YOU are drink
ing?'
"'Please, your HONOR said I, tremb-
ling from head to foot-:please, your
honor, it is only little whisky and
water to-
'"'Young man, he said, cycling me with
his fierce eyes and shaking his double
chin-<young man, do you know where
the feet of the drunkard lead? Are you
aware that once upon the downward path
they travel straight to hell? Have you
never learned that the inebria1e has
neither part nor lot with the righteous,
but is chained fast in everlasting tor
ment? Put by that glass-put by that
glass, I say and when you are lured into
temptation again, say that DR.. Dr..
d. Of Yale College! -showed you the evil
Of your ways
HE stopped for moment, glared hard
at me, and nodded his head and double
chin impressively. and was just raising
his toretinger to commence again, when
the landlord, in his little shrill voice be-
gan: Here it is, DR.. D., here it is; half
a gill of rum and wine glass Of brandy
before dinner-'''
"'Never mind the items,' said DR.. D.,
in terrible voice.
"'I just want to see it they are all cor
rect said the landlord. "Half a gill of
rum and wineglass of brandy before
dinner-''
"'I tell you l don't want the items,
Numbered the doctor; give me the
whole
I'm coming to that, said the land
lord, his voice growing shriller and shr:l-
Ter. Now how far had / got? Halt a
gill OF rum and a wineglass Of brandy
before dinner"
"'Sir-'
"'Forty-tive cents SAID the landlord.
"'Onc pint Of sherry and half a pint Of
port at dinncr-"'
Landlord broke in the doctor, his
face as red as beet and his eyes grow
ing smaller and smaller as he swelled up
like an angry turkey-cock.
"'Thats right, sir; said the landlord.
Half gill OF rum and a wineglassful of
brandy before dinner; one pint of sherry
and half a pint of port and a wineglass-
full of brandy at dinner; then dinner.
I think, your honor, it'll be about three
dollars and forty-five cents.'
"Dr. D. drew out his purse, threw down