Litchfield enquirer., 1879-08-14
CLIPPINGS.

a-1
 A stick in time saves nine boys out of ten.
 During the deluge Mr. Noah was in the habit of calling his wife an ark angel
 West Point has Filtration Walk, where the cadets learn the tactics used in engagements
 Never do anything to distract the attention of a manSwho is managing garden hose.
 The black and tans begin to come home from the country and the seaside.
 E It is commendable to be proud of sone's berth place, provided it be not directly over the boiler. ..9.eg e-s t-y59 s1g1 H
 The few Bridgeport people who do not go on excursions go to the boat to see Lthe others off.
 If you are ambitious to move in the highest circles join the next expedition to the Arctic circles. 4*kr Is
 ''Give the devil his due," said flighty ora- | tor. Then up rose a backwoodsman and said, I ''He will take his due; don't you be afeard."
 Elderberries are ripening. This IS gratify- ing news to people who don't care what kind of pies they eat. 't' p The boys might add few flowers andfeath CTS to their fancy-colored hat-ribbons, and pass 
 | An exchange has an article on the tomb of | Jonah The whale begs to remark that so far as he is concerned he isn't guilty he merely | acted as temporary vault.
 It is now that people go off inte the country and leave their city residences closed and darkened, in the belief that perhaps their gas bills will be lower, but they won't, :-
 The last number of the Litchfeld Enquirer contains two columns and half of obituaryof Caesar. The deceased was we'll liked in Litchfeld. ld.-Dan6uay Nesos. q The summer squash, with it's golden hue, looks tempting to the landlords view. It costs but two cents, and holds second place l only to the cucumber in tying double bow knot in the diaphragam.
 Solomon's wisdom was never more apparent than when he warned parents not to lose sight of the rod. Misplaced switches have wrought great evil to the race in these latter days.
 Sheridan, on one occasion after poor ama- \ teur performance, was asked what actor he liked best. "The prompter," said he, 'for I saw less and heard more of him than any one l else." a
 ''Did you observe the Fourth ?" asked Judge Wilson of a man sitting onthe prisoner bench with both eyes tied up. '1 did," replied that individual, land haven't been able to observe anything since."
 Some bad man has written to us to give the reason that Christ was born in manager He says it was because Mary was Jewess, and the Corbins of the period wouldn't admit her to their hotels.
 Trigga is the latest new planet which has been discovered. We may now expect some sen-of- gun of an astronomer to discover lock, stock and barrel, and blow the whole universe to pieces.
 A converted" Texas editor was called up- on to make prayer and caused all eyes to turn upon him when he commenced. "Give us this day our daily pass" A circus had just arrived in town. s.a-s.s.-
 The clergyman in certain town,s as the custom is, having published the banns of mat rimony between two persons, was followed by the clerks reading the hymn beginning with these words: ''Deluded souls that dream of | heaven!"
 After having scissored, and pasted, and written, and edited a paper for a lifetime what ?-R0cltester Express. A ten line ebitr- | ary and dead-head passage across the Styx. | --iSyracaese He,aId.
 Eulalie's sweet poem entitled The Cucum- ber's Victim" has been received and is re- spectfully, but firmly, declined, on the grounds that we cannot encourage muse which makes really gorgeous" rhyme with ''cholera mor- bus.
 An old farmer intent on making his will was asked by the lawyer the name of his wife when he gravely replied .:Well, indeed, 1 really don't rccollect what it is; we'ves been married flor. upward of, forty. years, and I al- ways called her my old woman." The lawyer left blank, to be filled up when his old wo- mans name was aSccrLained.
 A physician having a duel on his hands re- quests two of his friends to arrange withshis adversary the hour of the meeting "Make it to morrow, he says, ''but not in the forenoon, because must visit four patients before going to the ground" ''I see," murmurs one of the seconds, "he wants to get his hand n.'' Beaconsfield still refuses to touch Algernon Turner's testimonial wreath and the question now is what will Algernon Turner do with it !: It is d beautiful wreath, all gold and gems, and we suggest that if he wants still stouter to ce- ment the friendship between thetwo countries, he can't do better than bind it on the classic brow of Talmadgex
 Washa baby up clean and dress him up real pretty aud he will resist all advances with most supcrlative crossness but let him eat molasses gingerbread and fool around the coal | bod for a hali hour and he will nestle his dear little dirty face close up to your clean shirt-bo- som and be just the lovingist, cunningest lit- l tie rascal in the world.
 A weary looking individual who was found lying Tn the gutter last night about twelve o'clock, with his nose buried in the earth said he was perfeckly sober" 'Im merely lookin' | for the planet Jup-hic-iter whish the papers shay ish shpelendidly bright (hic) now at midnight" He was gathered in by ''star," but not the one he was looking for.
 When man on his summer vacation takes | good book of a pleasant Sunday afternoon, | and goes off into the woods for quiet read | and meditation, he will, on returning, if he is shrewd, hide the fish in some safe place to be brought into the house after dark, instead of trying to run them in done up in newspaper, | which is sure to burst just as he reaches the hotel door, and givehlm awayto the assembled | guests. .aas- s.-@-i--- @ ~a#
 'sThis, dear children, is the shoe of a Chi nese lady, see how little it is. what a nar- row sole it. has, "Pll bet it isn't as narrow as Deacons--''s. Father says his sole will fall through crack in the floor some day and get lost, !" was the shrill comment of a boy l given to sharp listening. The superintendent pnt the Chinese shoe in, his pocket, and re- lquested the school to sirg "Pull for the Shore. "@ -~ h- %4 1s @t1AA
 gg Apretty little girl in whose cheap and plain dress the child of . labofer could be recognized contemplated, in company with her mother, the rich show window of toy store on the Boulevard Her mother, pointing at the big gest and most richly dressed of the dolls, said: "You would like to have that, wouldn't you, Louise?" ''Oh, no mamma not that one; it's too we'll dressed for me-" And what differ ence does that make to you?" "Why, I'd want to be my dolly's mamma, and not her