The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1879-09-27
THIS AND THAT.
The R ticulo mortis-the oyster.

Inc IL tculO HOrllS-lne oyster.
Says the Boston Post "The Brook
lyn Eagle heads an editorial "Pure Cussed-
ness" and we read no further"
The editor of an exchange pronounces
Louise Pomeroy an exceedingly pretty wo-
man. That is as far as he is prepared to go
on the woman question just now.
That dog in Mackerelton, which keeps up
such howl and bark, night after night, has
probably forgotten that the season for MAX
ing sausages is again at hand.
"A western lawyer who is invariably
polite, stopped short in his address to
jury during terrific peal of thunder, and
resuming said Gentlemen, pray excuse
this interruption"
One of party of city boys who were
spending vacation in the country, sent the
following expressive letter, ave dug nice
woodchuck out of his hoie--it was a skunk !;
we slept in the barn that night"
The Buffalo Express says, the Dutchess
County Peace Society proposes to declare
war against the entire world, and the first
man who lifts his hand or voice against the
programme will have his head knocked right
off.
-"Healthy here ?" asked visitor who
was prospecting in the nelghborhood of
Denver. "Stranger, yes" was the reply /;
"ten years ago we had to kill two old men
to start this cemetery a-going."
Gov. Fenner absenting himself from
church on iastday, was told by DR.. Wayland
that he did not obey his own proclamation.
81 tell the people to meet at their usual
places of worship. Mine is at home"
The Atlantic cable is great institution.
Without it we should have been compelled
to wait nearly two weeks for the important
intelligence that Lord Knowshue's bay
Humbug came in third at the Spokeshire
races the other day.
The FIJI Islanders were very much dis
gusted by the corsets worn bv the last lot Of
missionaries sent there. The hungry but
ingenious natives say ifwhite women are to
have as many bones as a shad it really does
not pay TO import them.
Snow, Mr.. Robinson, won't you show
us your watermelon orchard?" said a fair
young city visitor to a kind-hearted farmer.
al haven'ta watermelon tree on the place
this year, ma'am they were all winter
killed." and his questioner wondered why
he smiled so pleasantly as he spoke.
The Greenback party are still bowling
about hard times, and despite the fact that
two brand-new comets have been discovered
within two weeks comets with tails, too
Some people wouldn't be satisfied ii you
were to discover three new comets and
new moon every night in the week.
Lord Cockburn was seated one day on
the hillside of Bonally with q Scotch shep'
herd, and observing the sheep reposng in
the cnldest situation, he observed TO him
"John, if were a sheep would lie on the
other side of the hill" The shepherd an
swered "Ay, my lord, but if ye had beer
sheep, ye wad "a had mair sense"
Give your poultry double rations, il
view of Thanksgiving, If intended fol
market, keep them well supplied with gravel
There is nothing that so literally rePays in
yestment. Gravel can be got for the haul
> ing, and sells for shilling pound whel
sold as poultry. The farmer who sells
, chicken with AN empty gizEard has mistaken
= his calling.
0 The other evening an old gentlema
4 advanced the proposition that never in tn
! course of his long life had he seen a woma
4 that was not charming ooh, really, no"
% don't you think am ugly9" asked lad
p whose nose was of the purest Ukrain
e breed "Not at all, madam. You are a
70 angel fresh fallen from Heaveni only SO
n fell on your nose r. replied the gallant oi
] genLlemau.