Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-02-20
R1THlAND POINT.

e4IA AND <oAH1.
WARS q broken heart compared to-
to0thache7
The OK has a neat [foot.-Boston
2ranscripk.
READY-NADE-The young lady wait
ing for an offer.
WHAT this country would like to see
is hen that can lay brick.
"OYsTER soup decays the teeth" says
an exchange. Go to the church festival,
thou falsifer.
| RAzoRs are always strapped; 90 is q
young man who is rash enough to- " put
in an hour or two at a church fair
A DEALER in clothing may justly refer
to his place of business as Sc my ware
house."
THE Salem Sunbeam says gambler is
the " midnight Hoyle p" that we read go
much about.
If your icy sidewalk attempt. to hau;
down an American, ash it on the spot
Bridgeport Standard.
The plumbers dying words for his
absent wife-"Tell her I'll meter over
there. "-NfeD York E1p,ess.
WITH all the variety of canned goods
in the market, We have yet to hear Of
canned hash.- Wh<e ing Leader.
CHR1srIAECY thinks the healthiest
craftsmanship is to be found in Peru
Wan bark.-Philadelphia Bulletin.
AN Illinois steam corn-sheller turns
out Just half bushel of buttons, bones
and cloth when a boy falls into the
hopper.
If the adage, "Out of sight out Of
mind" can be relied on, then it is only
reasonable to infer that blind men are all
lunatics.
| EYES," she remarked, "the poor dear
man was getting along as well as could
be expected, but be had relax and that
| ended him.
A LONDON letter says that white
stockings are rarely seen, even within
doors. All, where are they seen?-OI
City Derrick.
AN exchange says: "Lawye1s were
flying round like circular saws yester-
day" They weren't doing matters en-
the square, you mean.
| LEAvENWORTH (IDd.) Democrat.
Some of our farmers when asked how
their sheep turn cut, respond: "Ala
gone to the dogs"
The Hartwell (Ga.) Sun congratulate.
the people OF Atlanta that Gen. Sherman
burned nothing while there but two
boxes Of cigars.
A CHICAGO girls foot got asleep, not
long since, and it took four weeks and
canal boat load of alarm clocks to wake
it again Wheeling Leader.
/ AN old man who had been badly hurt
in railroad collision, being advised to
sue the company for damages, said:
"Well, no, not for damages. I've had
enough of them; but I'll just sue 'em FOX
repairs"
! PEDESTRIAN (who has dropped half
T a crown in front of " the blind" Why,
you COMPOUNDED humbug, you're not
blindr' Beegar: "Not / sirl If the card
says I am, they have given me wrong
one. Pm deaf and b."-Funny
Folks.
Z The most popular of the late inven-
tions for ladies is low bedstead that no
burglars can possibly crawl under. That
,, is, it ought to be popular, but woman
+ will insist in looking under the bed 20
f matter how low it is, and SO the inven-
> ton is worthless.
OWING to the custom of dying the
t hair blonde, the guests of our cheap
+ boarding houses are unable to note the
: changes among the female help as accur-
$ btely as formerly, the hairs in the hash
, aeing of q more uniform color.-Ceurt
journal.
. r. REFERRING to the rumor that Miss
f Fanny Davenport will 60 alone to Aus
tralia, q dramatic journal suggests that
. "perhaps some one will bring her back. :"
: Let US hope that whoever brings her
: bac * will be god enough to bring the
rest of her.
"W1LL you have your necktie in
!. single or double bow-knot?' inquired
;. the hangman as he adjusted the moose
r about the neck of fellow who was
about to execute double-shul1e in mid
E air. "Knot either, if am to have my
Il CHOICE" was the solemn response.-Syra-
! cu:e Standard.
|. JOHN 81. Common, of Halifax, n. S,
Writes: "Two sons of Erin Isle strayed
into Coughs saloon and asked George
if he had any istersf George replied
: in the affirmative, and the tallest one
: said to his partner, How will you take
! 'em, Dennis?"" Divil the know know, -
!. replied Dennis. Chow will yer have
! thin yerself, Pat?' " Arrah, think I'll
t take = 1haw sthew," said Pat.
. A UBIQUITOUS reporter rushed into
: the sanctum this morning, and breath
= lessly exclaimed, "l've just seen some
!. thing that I never saw before, and, alas
}, shall never zee again" He spoke sadly,
d and the moisture of tear began to
8 elisten on his atarbcard cheek. "What
is it," We exclaimed; whence? why
: speak," "Ah, boys" he said, &C have
= seen the first Of February, 1879" He
has taken his hat home for repairs
= New York Gom,a,ercicl Advertiser.
! SPRING, sweet, sweet spring will soon
, be here. The green grass will sprout
j. the keno player and the lambkin will
ganbol; turtle dove will turtle to his
+ mate; the young mans thoughts vii!
l. lightly turn to love; the humble bee will
d humble his first humble; the festive yell
g low jacket and the small boy will renew
Z relations; straw hats will come out; 60
: will busters, white pants, strawberry les,
= tivals, boils and campaign papers; and
:. the spring poet will mount the edlterlal
stair with cheerful face and ten pounds
. of manuscript. Spring isat hand. We
e cheerful]y recognize the fact and appeal
d to all true hearted photographers to pass
n the hat around as usual-N'o O'tea"'
It Times. ,.,r,:-. go.
:. The Burlington Rasokeye man is un
= dersteod to relate his own experience il
h what follows: ."Sing me, my OVID" hi
o whispered lovingly, as they eat down OF
e the one piano stool, "sing me, 20, whis
le per what thou feelest." II will, yOuns
n = man, 1will," said the tremulsus voice
70 lof her papa, from the direction OF the
r. door 8: We will sing it as duet, you
=. and I; will feel and you can wnis r.
y what it is.'' And then he felt TOT tne
=. boy with his feet, and went on WIN nn
III feeling indifference. And you neeun