The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-08-28
BRIC-.1 1-BR4C.


ginccr.
Tho rising generation: Tommy
"Gimme cake" Mamma-"If what?
If you please" Tommy-"Oh, let
up on that PinatOrc business; gimme
Il cakcl"
While an Illinois farmer was car
rying q bundle of wheat OH his should
CT, u rattlcsnakc crawlcd out on his
back and dropped to the ground, more
frightened than the man.
Among the attractions at q recent
Cincinnati picnic were three marriag-
cs. This explains why the girls love
picnics. They arc the only protection
they have against Alice Oates.
When yesterday ask cd you, love,
Ono little word to say,
Your brother interrupted us
SO please say yesterday.
--Norris!o,cn Herald
America will raise wheat enough
this year to supply tho world. This is
new country, but an exceedingly
well-brcad nc.-IhiiaHclphiu Chyoni-
cie-Xeraid.
The homclicst man is handsome in
the eyes Of his thrce-ycar-old, especial
ly, when reaching home handicapped
with q sugar horse and u pound Of as
sorted candies.
Some Of the dismal organs arc en-
dcavoring to relay tho cornerstone Of
C0nkling's reputation. Old man
&praguc should be invited to fire u
shotgun over it.-Ationta Constitu-
ton.
"A Wisconsin firm will mamfac-
turc fine quality Of sausage from the
flesh Ofa waterfowl. There's I little
too much Of the canard about the aver
age sausage Observation-Disclosures
Bulletin.
Over the door of the Workshop
Galilco, in Florence, is clock that
has lost only five seconds fourteen
NOTWITHSTANDING. In Paris there
is duolist who has lost only four
seconds in three years.
"A Canadian girl carried twenty
foot ladder one hundred yards, placed
it against q burning house, climbed
up, and. Well, she didn't put out
the fire. She fell backwards on a man
and nearly killed him.
-"No, can't stay" replied a gen
tlcman who was Invited to stay all
night at the house of O friend. "Bc
fore morning my wife would be out
with a lantern, like Diogcnes, hunting
for an honest man."
AS a party Of ladies and gentlemen
were climbing to the tup Of II high
church-towcr, one hot day, gentle
man remarked: "This is rather spiral
flight OF steps" TO which a lady rc-
joined, eyes, perspiraP-and she wip-
cd her brow rs shc spoke.
Only ten foreigners are honorcd
by tombs in Westminster Abbey.
They arc awful particular about who
is laid at rest there. But let them
keep their tombs. Ifthcy'd offer to let
lis be buried there tomorrow VIC
wouldn't acccpt.-Boston Post.
Base ball, it will be remembered
by old settlers, is a game played bv
eighteen persons wearing shirts and
drawers. They scatter around the
field and try to catch cannon ball
covered with rawhilc. The game is
to get people to pay two shillings to
come inside the fence.
AS the Senator stood on the sea-
beat shore, poking the pebbles with his
umbrella, his Hyperion lock damp with
the brine, and his magnificent torso
lraving with unwontcd emotion, he
must have asked with little Dombcv-
he could not but have asked, "NFhat is
the wild Spraguc sayingr Chicago
Times.
Did you ever see base ball player
try to catch train oN u tly?-N. Y.
Ncws. No. 1t would be too late to
rescue the fly, anyhow. When the
train is Oh fly, that fy's mission in
this world is ended, and the train
shouldn't be annoyed. Rather cncour-
asc it to get on more flics.-No,3is-
/ totUn XeiUlf.
-.Scenc-Concord (Anss.) State
prison: Visitor-''W here arc Your
cut-throats, burglars and hard charac-
tcrs" Warden-"Oh, they are down
In small corner on the lower floor.
We don't get much of that sort of riff
raft here. This here is high-toned
prison for corporation directors, bank
cashiers and sich."-New IIacen
Register.
A young author obtained pcrmis-
sion from the celebrated satirist Piron,
to read him q tragedy which was ON
the eve ofbcing brought out. At every
verse that was pillaged, Piron took of
his hat and bowed; and so frequently
'i's>& AAS oSCho1ou W Sto tlnS1 llltU JllC ttl-
thor, surprised, asked what he meant
OOH" replied Piron, cit is only q hab.
it have got of saluting my acquaint.
anccS !"
Sheridan was down at Brighton
one summer. when Fox, the manag.
er, dcsiricus Of showing him some
civility, took him all over the theatre
and exhibited its beauties. "Thcrc
Mr.. Sheridan" said Fox, who com.
bincd twenty occupations, without
being clever in one, "I built and paint
| cd all these boxes, and painted all
these scenes" "Did you,' said Sheri.
dan, surveying, them rapidly, "well, ]
should not, l am sure, have known you
were Foxby your Brush"
"A young man writes to inquire if
it is proper to take hold ofa young
lady's arm in promcnading. Certain.
ly 1t is. Nothing looks so nice as to
SEQ a tall youth walking with little
lady who comes not up to his shoulder,
with his arm hooked in hers, lifting
her half off her feet every time he