Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-08-21
Sips of Fun.

A draft will bring on a cclt
curc a cold, and pay the doctor
bill.
e An inventor calls his new or
!. gine sMexico," because sh
t makes SO many revolutions.
n There is one kind of canine
r goods that goes off quicke
than any other-gunpowder.
Statisticians affirm that coun
, tries raising most onions hay
the fewest marriages.
: A man cannot bear TO be tolt
that he has made fool of him
! self when he knows it before
hand.
She was modest little girl,
} Her name was Matte Gordon,
n But on the fire she poured coal oil,
And she's sailed the river Jordan.
The m a n who frequently
makes the remark that he is a
Egentleman is afraid that people
will not otherwise find it out.
Mary had a little lamb, with
which she used to tussle; she
yanked the wool all off its back
and crammed it in her hustle.
A man may be so wrapped up
in science that he forgets all
things else, but he never fools
with electricity and powder
more than once.
Now is the time when the
wise country cousin writes to
his city relations that neigh
Dor across the way is stricken
with smallpox.
The Rochester papers talk a.
bout a $4,000 dog at the late
dog show in that city,, That
price Must have included his
collar at $29,999.75.
No Hottentot is permitted 10
marry more than eight sisters
out of one family. This is
right. Somebody else might
want a chance.
The man who walks twenty
four hours on q stretch is q he
70, but no one has kind word |
for the baby that yells straight
ahead for seventeen hours.
The family physician asked
the clergyman satirically how
the patriarchs came TO live so
long. "Because they took no
said the minister.
A western woman having
boen spoken of as "having one
foot in the grave" a wicked
journal remarks that there must
be a big hole out there some
Always add a line or two on
the margin Of a letter TO a lady.
You can't imagine how much
satisfaction a woman obtains in
turning letter upside down to
read a postscript.
She was an Albany lady who
informed a visitor who came to
see her new house that she was
having "nicks made in the walls
N which to place statutes, and
n one of them a burst of her
husband"
Five stores were robbed in {
,nc night at Plain City, o., and q
he local newpapcr proudly says
hat, although the job was done c
~ home talent, it was equal to i
he best work of professional +
burglars. t
An Indiana-lady writes: "No :
rue and loving husband will l
eel it degrading to help his Q
wife prepare a meal, rock a ba- Q
~, or wipe the dishes, and also Il
hrow in a few loving words of .
encouragement between times" I
A Dubuque woman sues a L
aloon-keepcr for twcnty-four f
housand dollars damages for C
he loss of her drunken hus- h
and. If she gets the money d
he will Immediately marry a. N
ain and set the new man as the n
anne kind of trap. b
Three girls having met to- u
concluded to pray for d 4,
he welfare of their lovers; but g
he first one had not got very !,
.r along in her petition when y y
was discovered that they were u
II engaged to the same man.
he religious. exercises were at N
nee terminated. is
1t Is said that on outside poll II
.ician entering New Jersey is Al
pit to get fooled by the mos
uitocs which come up TO his fc
esidence at night, and by their il
oud clashing music deceive him W
ITO making aspeech, the orator IL
all the time that he t.
, being honored with a brass
and scrcnade. j
The Clipper, of Warrenton, ,
ia., says that "a prominent d
entleman has found a cheap "
lethod for entertaining compa- HI