Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1879-02-20
HuIllOr.

| Hum0r.
The shrouding ulster covers multi
tude of crooked shins. .ar1,g g 3. -
Men who stand al ound waiting for a
drink show lack Of cents. F.. -. ...-.
THE experiment has been tried
often enough to prove that d button
hook is not a night=key., sa@t :.-gs (
"A bent pin on agchair is the turning
point OF many a boys 7career.-New
Be careful how you punctuate the
Esteve," is the latest one. K means not
to put too much colon. --..- .u.....
THE man who wills his body to med
ical college for the benefit Of science,
gives himself dead away. ---las.ta a.-
.fTisn't the small boys whistle per Sc
that | objected to; it is the blowing of it
that arouses Indignation.
THE Nation has an article entitled
The Last Trace Of the War;" It must
have belonged to the harness of an ar
tillery mule. ....,-.
| Probably the best man in this world.
and the luckiest, is old Mr.. Tilden. He
does all his wickedness by substitute
Bufalo E1press. .ez,-s--
GEN. SPINNER says the climate of Flor
/ ida cures his rheumatism. Now, if he
could only find something that would
take the cram plout of his signature.
While in western town Camilla
Urso took her violin into the county
poor-house and delighted the inmates.
Good girl that. to play for nothing to
poor houses. . -l-f T.. ......-...... =. p.
The NOrristoWn Herald indicates its
! belief IN the oriental origin Of man by
stating the well known fact that both
the poppy and the mummy come from
! the East.
! The plumber came down like wolf in the fold,
! His pockets were laden with solder and gold,
And for four mortal hours he made love to the
| cook, s# s-gE U=e E...E- rs.- re.- faa
! And seventeen dollars were charged ND in the
book. ..E EE.Esb1EN HOY ~ -.f.. v.
The Chinese Encyclopedias meets a
long7=felt WANT no family should be
without it. 1t is published in Pekin,
and has only $500 volumes. Price,
81, 800 Columbia Spectator s- g.
EWhat does 4 Transatlantic mean,
mammal across the Atlantic, child.
Hold your tongue, and ask no more
questions."r .'Then. does transparent
mean cross mammal"
! -Aroan horse, driven by lady, was
| observed to be running away the other
day; whereupon Spilkins remarked that
twas the only instance he had ever
known ola woman being unable to hold
her roam. .i.'2F S"i 1901 5IoL 2he
.Some things, !" said an excited poll
tieian, "can be fereseen, and foretold;
and now foresee and [ will not foretell
| that the day viii soon come when. our
liberties will be no more Tlhis is as
certain, my, fellow-citizens, and, It's as
sure as that Romeo founded Rome"
/ "I propose to have some decent sing
ing at my funeral" said Mr.. Sam Cook,
of Alabama, who was hanged on last
Friday, and he led the singing himself.
-Bufd1o Express. The final strain,
however, was too much for hims-4Ptl-
ddelphia Bulletin. d.. ,--:- -,f.-......,..., :.
/ An Irish. agent, having been instruct
ed to raise rents, called 3 meeting of
the tenants and'apprised them Of that
intention: H''Yous can afford it," said
he; ''see how prices have risen" ST.
lence was broken by an old farmer,
who said: 'Yes; there'is no denying on
that. 1t used to cost a. pound to get an
agent shot, and nov, be jabers, it can't
be done under two..a The rents have
not yet been raised. 81. sid 70 s:#Is.a
81 say my fren', ocan you (hic) tell
me where the other side of the street
is?" "Certainly,--just across the way;
why do you ask?' "Why {hie1, because
a minute ago asked another fellow. the
same thing, and (hic) he said this was
the other side of the street" -. "
o, do not think It's grief that makes
( This maddening pain within my breast; q
BY lingo, no! it's buckwheat cakes
(which never, never will digest s-s.s-ya III.
Jones, goat was stoned to death by
some mischievous urchins the other
day, and Jones, in the innocence of his
heart, shas9 been trying to calm his
tempest-tossed emotions by selling the
carcass. He thinks pebbled goat ought
to bring good price. Funny man is
ones.-Boston Transcript. -- iei--sal
.'AS Rnmndp fnr. Hard rT;p,oc4 ~ .s-a-a Il