The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1879-03-29

lou Wdut 10 fDtefffcW INC tb VIC
agent and capvasser business. 1t
is a nice, healthy business for
cast-iron alligator, run by clock
work, but it is rather wearing on
humans. Me, fer instance. l av-
erage fifteen niles and forty-seven
flights Of stairs day. l amt set
down, before this, since six O'Clock
this morning I've sold six boxes
of the Extractor and Salve to-day
sold them to you ten minutes
ago. I've been in thirteen Offices
this morning. Eight of them told
me to git out; that is the regular
form. Three said nothing; that Is
the next most popular style OF
treating a canvasser. Two guyed
me-give me taffy. Que told me
to 20 to the ID. 1 general,
strike one polite man day, and
you are the nearest approach to
him tins forenoon"
"Well, why do you do it?"
"Why? Whye Well, sir, she
is paraly tic, aud not able to do u
stroke of work since the kid was
born, jlst fifteen years ago. Para
lytlc all that time, poor little gal.
"Your wife,?
"My wife, SIR" This was said
with u certain simple pride, and
then lie relapsed into hang dog
iinpudence. "Sne amt got my
failing. neither; she can't talk. l
have to do the conversation sor the
whole family. The paralexy don't
give her much chance to say any
thng-jest like the cusseduess vi
the durn disease, to take woman
square in the meanest place. She
makes out, though, to have little
talk with me when l come bome al
night. She thinks Uf what she Is
going to say all day-saves 1t up
to say to me. Sometimes she gets
kinder eager, and wants ~ say
good bye To me when 1 start out
III the morning. But l won't have
none of that. Ole gal, tell her,
don't You get conversational now,
or You wont have no chance t.
buzz your husband Ill the evening
So she holds III TILL night, and tEer
she says, How are you, Jake?
hope you amt very tired, or some
such composition. 'fain't so very
much; but it takes her about ten
minutes to say 1t. Lord, it's sad
1 could take the hinges uff hen.
house door in that time, aud sell Q
box of Extractor to the old hos.
rooster. You probably regard me
in the light Of u gorgeous idiot
Jest you wait till You strike your
woman, am SEE how easy ma;
blooms out into that style of g
maniac, and how dun and wei
} satisfied he is to stay SO. Oh, you
will strike her some day anC
mebbe you won't have the luck Il
, get her, like / did. i had to tall
| her into it. And, with all doc re
respect for you, sir, you ARE oDl,
al amatoor all Dg side Of me, whel
! 1t comes to lghtning-drill evolu
| tions of the lower jaw.
Eyes, SIR, it's a fine business
: So fine, I'm making it hereditary
in my family. Trainin' mp m,
! daughter to it. That's the kiC
born sixteen years ago-pretty a,
the original pattern. I've tina
confidence in human nature, I've
got her into the literature line, anc
and she's Ginning for a cook bool
and q concordance to the Bible
The concordance is slow; but tn,
cook book and the extractor be
J tween EN- do a little business; anG
! 1 guess we we'll able to keep M
our end agin paralaxy and othe
little drawbacks for a while yet
: The Extractor by itself, though
amt eqnal to the burden Of
J family, boon to sufferin' worlt
} like it is, and supported, think
! may say by the best talent in th'
way. of cheek and chin, raw gal
, and csst-iron jaw, that the countr.
affords. Well, I'm slidip.' 81.
boxes? Thank you, sir. Come il
again9 Well, no. You've 60
! grease extractor enough to las
! you some time. So long. And
oh-well-if you see anything
young aud good looking and kin
J der modelled ON the daisy princi
pie, just remember, will you, tba
, she's only in the literary line. ant
! takes after her mother, aud ain