Stevens County tribune. (Morris, Minn.) 1877-1880, 1879-11-06
PITH AND POINT.

"A MAN cares little for his wrongs when
getting his funeral rites.
The Sons of the Iron Knot" is the
name of Jewish order.
A SHORT negro resembles white man
because he is not tall black.
A PHYSICIAN has discovered yellow
fever germs in ice. The safest way is
to boil your ice before using it. This
kills the germ.
AN Irishman who had on very
ragged coat was asked of what stuff it
was made. "Bedad, I don't know;
think the most of it is made of fresh
air."
PROFESSOR in law recitation" Mr..
-, what is excusable homicide?"
Senior, promptly" ExcusableI homi-
eide is when man kills himself in self
defense"
"Is IT possible, miss, that you do not
know the names of some of your best
friends?" certainly, I do not even
know what my own may be in a year
from now"
TEACHER, to boy who has to be cor
rected frequently" Can you tell me
where the Blue Ridge is?" Boy Grub
bing his shoulder)-"No, but I can tell
where the black-and-blue ridge u.s." He
is treated more vigorously than ever
now.
SETH GREENS assistants have put
into the Upper Hudson 6,686,00O shad
fry this season, the largest seasons wor
in five years.
HERR ISAAC LILIENFELD, a member
of the Jewish community at Gotha, in
Germany, expressed a wish in his will
that his body should be burned after
death. The cremation was effected last
month, in the presence of large num-
Der of persons of various religious de-
nominations.
THE importation of horses from Can
ada to the United States has increased
thirtyfold in the last four years, from
214 horses with value of sos, 955 in
1876, to G, 1852 in 1879 valued at $491, 1886.
AN old farmer intent on making his
will was asked by the lawyer the name
of his wife, when he gravely replied !:
"Well, indeed, I really don't recollect
what it is; we've been married for up
ward of forty years, and I always call her
my old woman" The lawyer left blank,
to be filled up when the old woman's
name was ascertained.
"SM1LE when you can," is the latest
thing we are asked to do by those gra-
tuitously admonitory beings the poets.
No one can smile when he can't.
In 1873 2,7OS medical students were
graduated from ifty-nine colleges o.
the United States. AS the statistics
show that in this country an average o.
500 people support one physician, there
must be constant supply of over 1900
patients, who must pay the handsome
sum of 81, $4,000 year, y order to al
low each doctor only So day.
AN Englishman named Putton has
written book on music. It will be
"Putton Airs" probably.
ALLAN DINGER was waylaid in Ne
vada by highwayman, who offered the
usual alternative of money or life.
Dinger was mounted, but unarmed, and
the robber had a revolver close to his
head. Nevertheless he was cool and
brave enough to say, II don't believe
you'd really shoot me and take the
chance of hanging; so I'm off" and he
spurred his horse away. He says that
the ride was hardly enjoyable until he
| got out of range; but his reasoning had
been correct, and the robber did not
fire.
A YOUNG man, dressed in the height
OF fashion, and with a poetic turn of
mind, was driving along country road,
and, upon gazing at the pond which
skirted the highway, said: cob, how I
would like to lave my heated head in
those cooling waters" An Irishman,
overhearing the exclamation, imme-
dlately ren1ied: "Bedad, you might
lave it there and it would not sink"
A MONTGOMERY Gala man was choked
to death, the other day, by negro
woman with whom he had fight
about his washing.
The Philadelphia Times reports that
the Rev. A. A. Willis is good shot,
and tells this story about him: A Qua
ker who met him as he returned from
the field, with his game-bag well filed,
said to him in an admenitory tone {:
Friend Willis, it seems to me that a
bird has right to live until its time has
come to die" The doctor replied /:
Friend, you and agree perfectly, for
find that generally when get my gun
trained on a bird his time to die has
Gomez
THE fact that drunken and crazy men
are always well supplied with knives
and pistols is sad feature in the re-
cords of crime
A CLERGYMAN of my acquaintance
told me that he once visited lady in
his parish who had just lost her hus-
band; i'll order to offer consolation, and
upon her earnest inquiries as to the re-
union of families in heaven, he strongly
asserted his belief in that fact; and,
when she asked with anxiety whether
any time must elapse before friends
would be able to find each other in the
next world, he emphatically said: "Nol
they will be united at once" He was
thinking of the happiness of being able
to offer the relief of such faith when
she broke in upon such meditation by
sxcla;ming sadly: "Well, his first wife
has got him, then, by this time"
COUNSEL Ito witness -"Youre a nice
sort of fellow, you arei" Witness
I'D say the same of you, sir, only I'm
on my OATH"
AN English workman thus testifies in
the English Mechanic: an very many
things our manufactures are not fit to
be shown in the same street with Amer
lean ones; and this is not merely in
knick-knacks and little ingenuities, as to
which it is tolerably evident we have