The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-10-16
WIT AND HUMOR.

WIT AND HUMOR.
SOUND logic-Arguing through the
telephone.
SOME compilations are exceedingly
complex.
JONAH is reported to have been the
first man who struck oil.
DOES the maternal goldfish call its
young with Goldfish bawl?
FRANKLIN said that rich widows are
the only secondhand goods that sell at
prime cost.
My son, emulate the mule; it is
backward in deeds of violence.-OU
City DerTich;.
CERvANTEs has said, Every one is
son of his own works." This makes
the great krupp son of gun.
AN intelligent compositor out West
made the Queen of the ball wear a
pair of delicately-tinted satin "scan-
dals."
IT amt so much what man kan
lift, as what he kan hang on to, that
shows his aktual strength.-Josh Bill
5i1gS.
The reason we can not have an hon
est horse lace is because we haven't an
honest human race.-Bost0n TYGU-
eJIer.
A CHICAGO policeman arrested boy
who had an onion tied in the corner
of his handkerchief The charge
against him was carrying concealed
weepins. ..
SHAKESPEARE never repeated. There
was gifted little boy in Kentucky last
week who resembled the immortal bard
IN this important particular He
thoughtlessly twisted mules tail
YOUNG wife-"Oh, my dear. there is
a most lovely set-pin, earrings and
sleeve-buttons. Do go buy them"
Mr. Tightstring Yes, dear, mean to
go by them as quick as possible.
A STRANGER asked a resident in Nil
ford, Del, care you always troubled
with mosquitoes here?" Mosquitoes J"
was the answer, +" swing pint measure
around and you'll catch a quart Of
them
That was an observing fellow, if he
was but 6 years old, who said,
g Papa, wish you'd quarantine against
Tom Jones coming here every night
to see Jennie. It's got to be too cpl
demic."
q AM the oak; you are the vine" re-
marked an ardent though silly Logger to
his Marianne. "Let the vine, therefore,
creep around the oak until it reaches
the topmost leaves "And finds moth
ing there" exclaimed the heartless
beauty.
" He had an auburn haired girl, and
promised to take her out riding. She
met him at the door when he drove up.
and he exclaimed, Hello! Ready"
She misunderstood him, and they don't
speak now. Thus slang makes another
slap at loves young dream"
AT trial of criminal case, the pris-
oner entered plea of mot guilty" when
one Of the jurymen put on his hat and
started for the door. The Judge called
him back and informed him that he
could not leave until the case was tried.
" Tried?" queried the juror. "Why,
he acknowledges that he is not guilty" -.
RHYME OF THE TIME.
Miss Pallas Eudora Won Blurky
She didn't know chicken from turkey:
High Spanish and Greek she could 1uently speak,
But her knowledge of poultry murky.
She could tell the great-uncle of Moses.
and the dates of the Wars of the Roses.
And the reasons Of things why the Indians
rings
In their red aboriginal noses
Why Shakespeare was wrong in his grammar.
And the meaning of Emerson's "Brahma.''
And she went chipping rocks with little black box
And small geological hammer.
She had views upon co-educaton
And the principal needs of the nation,
And her glasses were blue and the number she
knew
Of the stars in each high constellation.
And she wrote in handwriting clerky,
And she talked with emphasis jerky,
And she painted tiles in the sweetest of styles;
But she didn't know chicken from turkey.