The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-10-16
A Bachelors Sad Experience.

Poor Jones, was an old BACH, but,
fortunately, he had very dear ma,
who kept his clothes in constant repair,
and his stomach always supplied with the
n3cessaries that are absolutely required for the
unfolding Of such lordly son of the soil; for
wasn't he his mammals only darling, her idol
lied son; and who, pray, would dare to con
tradict such statement? No one, think,
ever had the impudence or courage (Which
ever the case required) to differ, and so she re-
joiced in the thought, until one cold Deem
ber's night came, with his frosty fingers, and
closed her eyes forevermore. to the sorrow of
her poor son, for now he was uneducated in
the arts and foll1es of homework, perfectly
mystifed at the art of stitching a button on, or
mending hole; and washing dishes, scrub
bling, and sweeping were mysteries he could
not solve He, however, soon came to the con-
cIuslon that his dear mamma would not
heed his cries; would not appear from
out of that cold, dark tomb. to assist him,
as she had of yore, and his delicate
constitution demanded something nourishing
immediately, and SO the delicious memory of
his grandma's pancakes flashed quickly through
his brain, and, speeding downward, settled in
that peculiar spot that made him fairly grOan
for pancakes, and being not in a fit condition
to battle with his adversary, he gave one bound
andlanded in the pantry in search of his dear mas
recipe but he scanned in vain, not even cook
book could he find; but rather than disappoint
the meanings within, he rolled up his sleeves,
and, spying dish-pan hanging on the wall, he
took it down and nearly filed it with -four for
he was very hollow, and that would not be too
much for good hearty breakfast, after fasting
so long, thought he. Now for some sugar for
his dear mammals were always nice andsweeD,
and, procuring what he thought was a cupful
of sugar (but alas it was salt he stirred it in,
and rushed to the hennery and brought back
dozen nice fresh eggs ito make it extra light,
ne said; now for something to make it raise,
and, as luck would have it, he remembered
hearing his ma telling her next-door neighbor
Of the splendid yeast she had made; so he
made straight for the cellar and brought up
the jar of foaming yeast, and he put in as
much as he thought the pan would hold
and stirred it all up with little warm water;
then, standing it on the stove to raise until
morning, he retired 70 the next room and pre-
pared for glorious visit to dreamland, where
pancakes would re- echo through and through
and beautiful visions would feast with him I'M
til they would all be living, breathing pan
for one terrifying shrek from his faithful cat
aroused him from his blssful dream, to find
alas! the poor cat-his poor, DEAR faithful
friend-foat1ng out over the window-sill, and
himself almost strangled. The scene ought to
have caused his heart to bound with Joy, for
perfect ocean of fOaming, rolling. boiling
pancakes met his astonished eyes; but, instead,
he gave one bound and came to the conclusion
that after all, life was but stomach salts
ter"-a stern reality-and that home without
q nuisance" Tor "helpmate" he now calls
woman) could not be thought Of Adieu.
GEoRGINA.