Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1879-11-27
No.. Z
ALL SORTS.

NEW YORK makes it unanimous.
| A sound concert-the telephone.
| A ticket speculator- politician.
Proverb in Paris-Worth makes woman.
The village bells should naturally give tone
to society.
Not put-up- job, as yet-the Washington
monument.
'Tis the wealthy chaps the girls purse up
| their lips to.
Girls, Naomi was $50 years old when she
| W as married.
The home stretch is best taken in the even
ing on sofa.
clothes prop.
| If you let man loan he will let you alone
for long time.
Did the saying, "Im monark of all l sur
vey," originate with Noah?
Women are archers by nature. Their in
clinations are to bend the beaux.
One of the cheapest things (only ten cents)
| in the world is pleasant smile.
| Even criminals like paragraphs; that is to
| say they prefer short sentence.
| Now is the time for fruit-dealers to hang
their bananas on the outer walls.
An open countenance is never spoiled by
accompaniment of close mouth.
GAR1BALD1 is worrying along with gout,
| divorce suit and other ailmenss.
| Food changes with the season-except
taffy, which is good all the year around.
A dog frequently worries cat, but man,
| who is nobler than dog, worries himself.
Old bachelors who think there isn't any
fun IN coarting had better get little-gal-an-
try.
Japanese ladies wear hats only when it
rains. 1t never rains at the theatre. Happy
Japan! ..s
A Vermont editor claims to have seen a
rainbow at night, and the temperance people
despair of him.
As the man heard his dog barking for him
when he left him at home, he said it was his
left bow-wow-ey.
AN urgent request has been sent by the
Merchants Club of Boston to John Bright
to visit this country.
SPRlNKLlNa machines and Cinnamon each
have their uses; one keeps the lawn wet and
the other the laundry.
THE annual value of gold produced in the
hydraulic mines Of California averages not
less than 81, 100000.
THE editor of the Cincinnati ENQUIRER DO
litely declines ride in balloon until Lake
Michigan is rooted over"
THE New York Tribune seems to think it
about an even thing between the Blaine boom
and the Grant boom just now.
With all the Frenchman's boasted economy
in culinary matters, he never thinks of serv-
ing up lamb in its own capers.
THE dowry of the future Queen of Spain
has been paid into the National Bank of Vi
enna 1t amounts to $4,000,0O0.
A young man whose girl lives some dis
tance out of town says his Sunday night walk
includes 1.-TWO miles and one lap"
The proper form for a will nowadays
will read "To the respective attorneys of
my children give my entire estate
Don't pay any attention to the sign of
"Shut This Door," 1t is the trick of lazy
man to get others to do his work for him.
mo news is good news" says an old pro-
verb, which accounts for the fact that some
publications are rated as good newspapers.
That was wise colored man who, in
speaking of the happiness of married people,
said: "Dat ar 'pends altogedder how dey
enjoy demselves."
This free education is getting played out
when dinner is made late by the cooks stop
ping work to discuss the principles of evolu-
ton with book agent.
Once in q while we hear of some lecture
agent who mysteriously disappears, but who
ever heard of lecturer himself failing to
show up as the season came in 2
History repeats itself, but sometimes with
decided variations. Diogenes had q tub 8.
j. T, had barrel. One was looking for
honest men the other for dishonest ones.
Joan of Arc successfully led an army to
victory But did che ever 60 to picnic and
not scream murder when q grasshopper
jumped down her neck2 History is silent on
this point. ss
JAY COOKE has paid off his debts and his
paper now commands q premium in Phla-
dephia. Northern Pacific broke him up and
q rise in the stock of that company has made
him again. ... hjAa -rt e
MRS. TBuRT1Ua wife of the Surgeon
General Of Germany, is q leading dentist Of
Berlin, and attends the royal family. Her
DR.. Rranziska Tiburtius, is an
eminent physician. - Tia -
Col. WILLIAMSON, noted Texan lawyer,
stood up in church and called upon young
lady TO come forward and marry him. The
guddenneas Of the proposal threw her into
swoon. Williamson had become insane.
JUST week before the butchery at Cabul
Lieutenant HamiHon, ". G. (who was a
brother of one OF the amateur cricketers now
in this countryl visited the village of Beh-
maru, where the outbreak of 1641 took place,
and wrote . copy Of verses upon the fate of
Bnrnes and Ephinseone's command, the fate
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