Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-02-02
Wit and HumOr.
Whoever saw a cat nip tea?

1
| The feathered tribes-The Indians.
Bar Sample room" change.
Lorne is only a fiat Marquis after all.
The miners cry-Give us coal'd wealth
er.
! Satisfied at last-A contented shoemak-
err
How to rear mule-Tickle his hind
legs.
Black lead-The followers of a negro
guide.
Isn't a lawyers personal attendant a
legal,tender9
Neat's-foot soil-The mark left by a
natty little boot.
The man who was ssclose at hand'' was
a nigh witness.
A philosopher fell sick. and was ordered
to drink sage tea.
If you would have your clothes we'll
washed, wash them in we'll water.
A mans food is bolted when his wife
locks the cupboard door against him.
The viceroy of India should remem-
Der the best laid plans Afghan agley.
Fat is not conducive to long life. A
fat hog rarely lives th1ough the winter.
The violinist who 'carries the house
by Storm" used rainbow afterwards.
"Good chants for you, sonny" said
the man when he gave the boy hymn
| book.
Did you ever hear hogshead speak?
If SO, what was it the hogshead?--T Tran.
| script.
''These are all ewes" remarked the
crockery dealer as he received crate of
pitchers.
There was, no doubt, considerable
mourning when the sunburst, but where
did the daylight?
An old tin kettle may never point
moral, but it is pretty sure, sooner or
later, to adorn tale.
If you want to know what new books
are out just go to circulating library
and try to borrow them.
! A young man calls his girl, who has
| promised to msIi;; him, ''silence," be,
cause she gives consent.
On account of the decided manner of
his spouse, Smythe says his children are
covered by ma-shall law.
He couldn't raise the mortgage on his
building-lot; and so, poor man, without
becoming blind, he lost his site.
With powder on her face and bullet
buttons on her gown, the girl Of The
period is dangerous character.
If women are really angels, why don't
| they fly over a fence instead a making
such fearful awkward job of climbing?
The price Of pork has so seriously de-
| clined that, according to an Iowa paper,
| no respectable pig can afford to take on
fat.
In a Danbury clothing store is card
announcing. 1'Perfectly fitting gar
ments; every article sets as good as a
hen"
Delays are dangerous in verything, ex-
cept marriage; the longer you delay that
the better you areo1f. Eznair0 Gazette.
II am not particular" he remarked
when the tailor refused to trust him.
am not particular, but I can't be suited
here"
"Have you cologne?" she asked. "No
ma'am," replied the druggist; II have
no scents at all.'' She said he didn't
look as though he had.
Tilden says now he can understand
how these cyphers came to be found on
him. He must have caught them while
riding in the street cars.
A tramp, who received blow from an
Amazonian widow, declared that, until
then, he had never realized the full sig
nifcance of the widows smite.
"Be polite, sonny" said the hcarder to
an impertinent youngster, ''be polite, and,
when she offers you cup Of tea, don't
you take cup and sauce 'er."
Hogs are coming down. We saw two
occupying four seats each, coming down
on the Hamilton and Dayton road, the
other day, in car otherwise crowded.
Accident insurance companies haveput
kings and emperors down in the fourth
class of risks, along with engineers,
brakemen, f1emen, and book agents.
He said he rather guessed he knew how
to sail boat; but the gentle zephyrs that
kiss the wavelets over his watery grave
mournfully whisper. "He lufed not wise
ly."
A Kentuckey editorEsays neighbor of
his is so lazy that when he works in the
garden he moves about so slowly that the
shade of his broad brimmed hat kills the
plants.
Wouldn't you rather lose seven dollars
and half than to 60 up stairs in the
dark and find the top stair one lower than
you thought it was? -Lyna Semi Weekly
Reporter.
A Michigan farmer writes to the facul-
ty Of Yale: s'What are your terms for
year9 And does it cost anything extra if
ny son wants to learn to read and write
as we'll as row boat2"
Woman's dress may be superior to
mans, but we don't want no garments
around us that you have to stand up in
to get your hand in the pocket, and then
not find what you are looking for.
To the intense disgust of the lady cf
the house, it is a noticeable fact that
broken cups and saucers are always given
the place Of honor on the tea-table--
especially if there be company present.
Gather" said Charley spilkins, "Mrs.
Jones has two pair Of hands, hasn't sbe2"
How do you figure that out, Charless"
asked Leander. "Why, didn't you say
the other day that she was sfourEanded'?"
When q man 0oino home RI dinner