davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-03-28
Two Alligator Yarns.

Last spring large OK went into the
waters of Lake Jackson, near Tallahas-
see, to drink. An alligator fastened to
the fore leg of the animal, crushing the
bone. The OK struggled to the shore,
dragging his antagonist with him. At
this time the shore was black with ALI
gators, attracted by the smell of blood,
and some crawled upon the bank. The
OK fought valiantly, tossing one of the
monsters high in the air, from which
fall he lay on the ground stunned n
considerable time. But the wounded
OK again got in the water, and a mann
moth alligator closed on his nose and
dragged him under.
Not long ago Florida paper told q
story of the charming of an alligator
by rattlesnake. The latter, upon dis
covering the former, attracted atten-
ton by sounding an alarm. The ALI
gator turned his head several times, as
if he wanted to got away, but as often
faced the snake again. Toward the
end of half an hour" says the paper,
with fixed eyes the alligator moved
slowly toward his terrible enemy, until
within striking distance, when the snake
curled himself more compactly and
struck the alligator. For moment
the alligator shook tremendously, and
then, as if by magic, made semi circle
backward, and brought his tail down on
the would-be assassin with fatal result"
On several occasions captured alliga-
tors and rattlesnakes have been put in
an Enclosure to fight for the benefit of
spectators, and in majority of cases
the snake has been victorious, having
succeeded in striking his fangs into the
alligator's open mouth. = Ne,o York
World
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-03-28

Tho Dinsrsat Glasses. and What They Re-

o~-~-
Pensioners totally disabled, says a
Washington correspondent, are now
paid 1854 per annum, which is the larg-
est sum ever paid any class of pension
ers by any Government. Up to the
war of the Rebellion, and for some time
afterward, this class got 500, but it has
been gradually increased by nearly
every Congress until it is now nearly
ten times the former figure. The last
increase was from 5000 to 1864. The
totally disabled " are such as have lost
both eyes, or both arms, or both legs,
or are otherwise entirely disqualified
from physical exertion.
There are over fifty different classes
of invalids on the rolls, not including
widows and orphans, and special cases,
like Mrs. Lincoln. The disabled and
invalids receive all the way from s12 to
1864 per annum. At the beginning of
the present fiscal wear there were:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-03-28
HOIST By HIS OWN PETARD.

"A few weeks ago some workmen en-
gagged in removing an old mansion on
the corner of California and Mason
streets were considerably puzzled at
finding a number of copper wires con-
Meeting the bathroom with q room
above. The owners of the property
we're equally puzzled, having never be-
fore known of their existence. The
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-03-28
WIT AND HUMOR.

HEAD Wrinkles.
EXCELLENT wash for the face-Water.
FARE proposition" Tickets, please"
BIRDS are not noted for courage, but
many of them die game.
DANCING is forbidden during Lent,
but fsh-balls are allowable.
SOME tramps are good singers until
they strike chord-of wood
AN Irish friend asks if the heal and
tow polka can be used in Lint.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-03-28

Mrs. MIRA CLARK GAINES, notwith-
standing her II years, has long, dark,
and abundant hair, falling below her
waist. She says that an aunt lived to
the age of lis, and she proposes to imi-
tate her example.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-03-28

DIR. MoCosH, of Princeton College,
is q good debt. raiser. During his adj
ministraticn $4,000, 900 has been given
to that institution, and now the last
$4,000 of its debt is lifted by friends
who wisely stipulate that the college
mustn't hereafter live beyond its in
come.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-03-28

NApA county, Cal, produced 2,100,.
600 gallons of wine last year.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-03-28


His name is Lynn G. Doyle
WITHOUT lawyers and witnesses we
couldn't have very much court, and it
not infreguently happens that those
who go upon the witness stand get the
in Pittsfeld, Mass. this legal legend is
remembered: A certain lawyer, who
had reputation as being very astute at
cross-examination, asked a female wit
ness Madam. are you now living
with your first or second husband ?~
That's none of your business! sharp
and short. With an air of offended
dignity the lawyer turned to Judge
Brigham, who remarked, with smile
think the witness is about right in
that, is she Eot?"
OUR legal readers will perhaps do a
little smile at the following, which we
quote from Fifty Years of My Life"
by the Earl of Albemarle: "Scene,
Dublin. Baron O'Grady presiding in
court. Bush then Kings counsel, was
pleading cause with much eloquence,
when a donkey in the courtyard Get up
loud bray. 'One mt time, Brother
Bush called out his Lordship. Peals of
laughter filled the court. The counsel
bore the interruption as he could. The
Judge was proceeding to sum up with
his usual ability, when the donkey
again began to bray. 1 beg your Lord
ships pardon said Bush, putting his
hand to his eur; but there is such an
echo in the court that l can't hear
word you say"
In a leading church in the Diocese of
Huron, Canada West, there has lately
been some difficulty in obtaining a suffi-
cient supply of gas, through a defect in
the main, or other cause. The mana
ger at the gas-works sent boy to the
church with instructions to see the SEX
ton and ascertain whether they were
getting enough light. The boy arrived
after service had commenced, and, not
seeing the sexton, walked boldly up the
aisle and accosted the rector, who was
reading the service, and asked, in a
frank and perfectly audible tone
Say, boss, hoic are ye off for gas ?"
The answer was not heard, but there
we're reasons why most of the congrega-
ton INDUCED in smile.
OF the late Louis A. Cooley, who was
ready-wltted man, Col. Forney relates
the following: On one occasion, at an
evening entertainment at Godey's
house, two angry disputants we're facing
each other, almost ready to resort to
blows, when Cooley picked up huge
carving-knife from the supper table and
handed it to the most violent of the two.
The latter unconsciously received it, at
the same time demanding of Cooley,
What do you mean by this, sir?" II
mean," said the jolly editor of the
Lady's Book-"I mean that you should
cut off the quarrel right here" The
general explosion of merriment made
the controversy so ridiculous that it
was stopped at once, the excited ad-
versaries themselves joining in the
laugh, as they shook hands and begged
pardon of the host.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-03-28
JOKES FROM THE APRIL HARPER.

THAT was not bad in country de-
batting society, where the subject con-
sidered was Is it wrong to cheat a
lawyer?" After full discussion, the
decision was: Not wrong, but too
difficult to pay for the trouble"
THE late Judge John w. Edmonds,
being once asked what he thought of
certain speaker who had loud voice
and was rather prosy, said that he con-
sidered him a remarkable man, for he
could fill house and empty it at the
same time.
A CORRESPONDENT at Ithaca, n.
Y, sends us the following, copied
from stone in graveyard few miles
from that town:
While earth my knee was lame,
had 10 nurse and heed it:
But now I'm at better place,
Where / do not even need IL.
AFTER all, definition is everything. as
this case In point will attest: In a
horse case" recently tried in New
Jersey, negro witness was called upon
to explain the difference between box
stall and a common stall. Straighten-
ing himself up, and pointing to the
square Enclosure where the Judge sat,
he said, Dat ar's what / calls a box
stall, dere whar dat ole boss is sittin'!"
Mr. THOMAS B. CHRYsTAL's name is
appended to the following bit of poetic
coloring:
THE PAINTER AND HIS GIRL.
A painter who a store did keep,
Was such jolly joker
That when he found his girl asleep
He with yellow ochre.
Her choler se--Am / so brown
You call me Pretty yellery' -
indigo nant she left the town
Thus went his lumber Ella
He vowed he'd ne'er sienna one;
He'd give his life TO toll:
He keeps that vow in violet
His name is Lynn G. Doyle.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-03-28

strange fascination drew him toward
the bath. He entered the room again
and stood gazing into the motionless
water in the tank, and murmured to
himself: -Four hundred and eighty
cubic feet, 500 Ones"
There was O gas Jet above the tank,
and its faint glow was reflected in the
water. To Croftly the atmosphere
seemed to have been generated in a
blast furnace. The water looked cool
and refreshing. There was yet more
than an hour. Croftly turned the catch
of the door from force of habit, and,
throwing of his clothes, plunged in. He
could find no disagreeable trace of the
chemicals, and once more he felt the
delightful sensation of being cool. 1t
was so agreeable that he began to re-
fleet in his mind whether he would not
continue the bath and postpone the
murder.
Suddenly the hall-door was slammed,
and he heard the voice of Miss Arm
strong talking with her father. The
tho theater because they did not care to
be bored with Mrs. Bowers hackneyed
rendering of Queen Elizabeth" Pass
ing along the hall they saw the profess
sor's door open and the gas in full
blast. Armstrong hated to see anything
go to waste, and told his daughter to go
in and lower the gas, as the room was
unoccupied. Miss Armstrong went in
as directed, and her father passed up
stairs While alone the GIRL could not
resist the temptation to pull little note
from her bosom and read it again. She
had received it that morning, and had
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-03-28
GOING DOWN TO MAINE, OR. THE
KISS DEFERRED.

Two little cousins once there were
Mary Ann and Mary Jane;
The first one lived In Boston town.
I. The second down In Maine.
(But as the town of Boston stood
So very far from Maine,
The cousins yet had never met.
Which caused them much pains
And Jane she wrote little note;
~Dear cousin thus wrote She
q Dear Cousin Ann, I've made plan
That YOU sho,ad visit me;
For you are the one. the Ann UNKNOWN
I've always longed 70 see.
They say that you have eyes deep blue,
And face all lily fair,
while round your face, with many grace
Doth curl your golden hair.
Now 1, they say, have eyes OF gray,
And the puggiest little noee,
little round chin with dimple in,
And cheeks as red as rose.
Let me tell you this, that I'm saving kiss,
And a dear. good hugging, too.
For the cousin fair with the golden hair,
And the eyes brightly blue.
SO pray, dear Ann, come IL you can,
And bring your dolly dear:
NY dollies all, both great and small,
will make her welcome here.
And we'll sit up stairs in our little low chairs,
And dress them all so gay;
And we'll hunt for flowers in the woods for hours,
And know such pretty playi"
Wrote Ann TO Jane: "Id come 10 Maine
And play with YOU I'm sure;
'Twould be so good, If only could
But my pa he's too poor.
When his ship get home. then may come,
He says, for that will bring
All IL can hold of silver and gold,
And clothes, and everything"
The years flew on: young maidens grown
Were Marys Ann and Jane;
Still dwelt the first In Boston town,
The second down in Maine.
63ut as the town of Boston stood
So very far from Maine,
The cousins yet had never met.
Which caused them much pain)
And now Jane wrote a perfumed note,
All in perfumed cover;
And thus IL ran: " DO come dear Ann,
DO come. and bring your lover.
I've a lover, too, tender aud true
OH gallant youth is he.
On moonlight night, when the moon shines
bright,
How charming IL will be
To pleasantly walk and pleasantly talk,
Or for you two and we
together to roam where the white waves foam
All down by the sounding seal"
Wrote Ann to Jane: THAT visit to Maine
|. Mua
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1879-07-30
CRAY0N PORTRAITS!
A. b. BOSTwICK,

Of the National Academy of
Design and Art League, New
York City, would respectfully
announce to the inhabitants
of Montpelier and vicinity
that he is spending his sum-
mer vacation here, and is pre-
pared to receive orders for
Crayon Portraits. This class
of work is rapidly coming in
to great favor throughout the
country, and an opportunity
is now presented to the peo-
pie to obtain frst-class worh
at greatly reduced prices. A
correct likeness is guaranteed
in every case. Entrance to
Studio through Mr.. Phinney's
Book store, where Portraits
will be on exhibition through
the summer, an inspection OF
which by all is requested.
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1879-07-30

rourtb NJ .JtIv Ksferino IA the e appre-
bens;ons that men might get educated
ohove tbo,r s,o,,or 10 dronoed tb;s Dalnb;c
utts,ance. . q Tbs d,fferenoss 81 condition
svsrv dar h.,o,,,nn v;der .rd dsens, Give
ami. s.anr;,r. w. wor,d ,,he 20 hear
,rhe -. 49, ~. f..,,s, ,h..s .wful
..n.r.h...;a..n A.. ,hs, rs,,,,s,rer ohio
h.ra - 60, s..,,,,,.aa =. q. d ,n;sch;ev.
49,. -, - - ~ r. az ,,,o,,,,nv
s,s,.,,,,s -, ss;.,s 81. y. ,,,tr.j,y ,,,tobes
H., ~ -, .sa,,,,t ~ ~ aorands I'll bettar
.oh.o,. ;ns,,r.,aa ~ arrrrahhans,o,n,ss' that
tsrr,.ru, .droatad .hova THAR
.ta,,nno A.. ~ oont,srsr wbo declare
~. 49, 60 .rr..,v.. =, vr;,;no
-. n -. $3.50. a., az. onnr.hsn'
-.~.'s....s-. . w. ,o,. ,h,s ,,o;rt for Tho
&c. 81 ~. ~ .,,;aL Z, Il q, mn, saws. {.
=" In ~. 49, ;s.,,,,s,, .,,a hn.,,,,,v
i ~ a. - - Il. - 49,. .sn..,;or
~ " III a rr, II ,.,or,,s, :,
800, ~ ~, 80 r. 80 4 - H. dan,sr !. fay
1. 49, 49,, ;na;s.rsnos 20 ,hs matter
- - sS.. wv a...'..:.;aa 60, A.. a ,r,or
-. y = ,l.,-
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1879-07-30
No. 298 Shawmut Avenue, cor.
ner of WaItham Street.

This Ia private hrst-class institution, and occupies
foremost place among the medical establishments Of
America and for twelve years has been under the charge
Of DIR. George W. Rhodes. DR.. Thomas b. sanborn has
accepted the appointment Of Superintendent and entered
upon his duties The public may assured tina III
performed at this instuon will be KEEP. up to s
former standard. The object of this nstuton to furn-
M home with medical attendance. to those persons who
appreciate the dscomfos and annoyances nseparabe
drs Of patients who have entered Its doors in such phys
ca and mental condition that their friends had abandoned
all hope OF their rejoicing In that greatest
OF LIES bessinssa sound body and sound mind. Large
numbers OF patients treated at the and reside
itside or at their residences.-Courier. s6-4s
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1879-07-30

TRY AGAIN.

saw a robin on tree
Was building her nest;
How busy at her work was she,
Nor did not stop for rest.
watched her At her rugged task;
The work was well begun;
She carried bits Of nne dry grass
until the work was done.
But oh the fate Of poor red-breast
That in her way was found
BY some mishap that well-buiit nest
Was thrown upon the ground.
Yet she was not at all dsmayed;
One could not her defeat; .YI
She toiled again until she made
Another nest complete.
And still she's in cheerful mood 81.
All the long sunny day
Here she raised up lovely brood
TIL they all few away. $1,000
Boys. boysi lesson here for you; l'
Please heed II well to-day, H
You should your tollsome way pursue,
Though thorns lnfest the way.
All ye fant-hearted. weak Of will, .I.H..
Just urge your way along
Keep up manly courage sim,
Though some things may be wrong.
What n you meet with sad reverse,
BE sure and not repine,
with some one else 1t may he WORSE YH
His task more hard than thine.
BE not o'eroome with slavish fear,
But for the goal contend;
Remember, you should persevere
In hope unto the end.
Yes, persevere in good cause,
Let TRIES be forgot
Should you meier gain the worlds applause,
I'm sure II matters not. Selected.
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1879-07-30

PROFESSOR ATwATERs EXPERIMENTS,
We thank Professor Atwatsr for copy
of his excellent Report on Farm Expert.
ments with Fertilizers" and shall be glad
to make use of it hereafter in treating upon
the subjects with which it is concerned.
.3.I HOW PARTIES GROW.
The Philadelphia Times has the following,
upon which farmers may proftably ponder;
Parties are not made to order, even with
the best intentions. They grow from seeds
sown by mon whom the mob despises or
ignores they are watered by unwholesome
truths, continually told, and in the fullness
Of time they spring into life Abuses must
be piled almost mountain high before the
people are sufficiently impressed to give the
politicians unmistaksble indications that
they will bear with them no longer. Then
the politicians are quick enough TO adopt
the ideas Of teachers whom they have
despised."
NEW HAMPSHIRE REPORT.
We have TO acknowledge the receipt, by
the kindness Of Secretary Adams, of copies
of the Report of the New Hampshire Board
of Agriculture for 1873, being Volume VIII
of the series he has 80 ably edited. We
have not yet had time to examine it with
care, but hope to refer TO it more at length
hereafter. 1t makes US ashamed to see the
reports of our sister New England States
when we reflect upon the action Of our own
Legislature in abolishing the Vermont Board
last winter. But we hope for better days,
when, the improving farmers having a ma
iority in the legislature, we may again have
something done for the promotion of good
farming by the state.
INDEBTEDNESS FOR LAND.
b. F.Johnson, Esq. Of Champaign county,
Illinois Gp the Country Gsntsman), reports
conversation with an old friend Of English
birth, a man of great business sagscity, in
which he said a' Yes, the price Of land ID
low indeed, when we see such rich lands and
farms selling as we see now at from twenty
TO twenty-five dollars. But these prices rep
resent the indebtedness of the country, and
mot the value Of the lands. II we were on,
Of debt, they would be worth forty and ffty
dollars to-day. and they will be Just as soor
as we have reached this point, the price ria
ing meantime in direct proportion as thu
debt is discharged Here, TO my mind, Il
the keynote to the situation, which not onl,
applies to Illinois, but TO the whole countr,
~ well. To get out Of debt 10 10 sttsin [
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1879-07-30

A cELEBRArEp London physician we'll
says Distilled liquors are a poison, dan
gerous and deadly, and Of comparatively
modern origin. Their use 10 productive Of
more disease, physical, mental and moral,
than that Of any other known agent, and
produces an immsasurably greater number
Of untimely deaths. Their use affects not
only the user but his progeny, 10 the third
and fourth generation. To license men TO
sell this poison as q beverage under any pre-
tense is crime against society, humanity
and God" l.rnfI .r.l a IA I'D anI
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1879-07-30
"Beyond Their station.v

There was a time when there WAS some
correspondence between the name Of the
Democratic party and the meaning Of the
word. But since the time when the leaders
Of that organisation sold out TO the slave
holding oigarchy, the divergence has bean
marked. Millionairss rule the party, and
having barely failed in placing one man
with abar,h Of money " in the presidential
chair, they now talk Of putting up that
hereditary aristocrst, Bayard Of Delaware,
a. their next candidate. Meantime the Hon.
William Dorshismer, "Democratio leu
tenantgovernor OF New York, has demon
stfated his Democracy In an address on the
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1879-07-30

A GLASS of whiskey sells for dime, and
is diu Tx in minute. II fires the brain and
deranges and weakens the physical system.
On the same table lies . newspaper 1t is
covered with half million type; 1t brings
intelligence from the four quarters OF the
globe. The newspaper costs less than hall
the glass Of grog; but II Is none the less
true that there is large number OF people
who think whiskey cheap and newspapers
dear.
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1879-07-30
VALUADLRT RUTHs.f

.snaa HTBUTas.l
Hyou ere gugsring from poor health, or languisE
ing on bed Of nickness. take cheer, fur
Hop Bittefs will Cure You.
II you are simply ailings II you feel weak land
dispfritsd, without clear y knowing why
30 l Hop Bitsers will Revive You.
II you are Q minister, and have overtaxsd your
self with your pastoral du Hes; or mother. worn
ont with care and work,
HOP Bitters WHY Restore You.
II you ara man Of bus iness, weakened by the
strain OF your everyday duties or man Of lot
ters toling over your midnight work,
Hop Bisssrs Will Derengshen You.
4. II you are young, and suffering from any indis-
creon, or are growing fast as 10 often the case,
HOP Biesers win Beiieve Toa.
i II you are in the work bhop, on tho farm, at the
oesk, anywhere, and feel that your system needs
cssnsing. tooins or stin plating "'sheas insoxi.
Hop Bitters II Whas You Need.
II you are old, and your pulse In feeble, your
nerves unsteady, aud your faculties waning,
Hop Bitssrs will give you new Life
sanaN ana vigor.
Try Hop Cough curs and Pain Relief.
For sale By al drussists. ~.
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1879-07-30

The greatest evils in life have had their
rise from something which Was thought 70
be Of too little importance 70 be attended 70.
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1879-07-30
HOME AND RETREAT
For Invalids.
No. 298 Shawmut Avenue, Boston, Mass,

For the cure q Paralysis Spinal Brain and Neryon Dis
Crooked Feet and Hands Enlarged Joints wry Neck Hip
Diseases Rcke and all Defoltes Diseases Of the Heart
and Blood. once hours from ten o'clock A. until two
oclockr.H Apply to T. b. sanborn, D., Superintendent
Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1879-07-30
TOWN DEBTS FoR. RAILROADS.

The New York Chamber of Commerce
has been collecting information about the
railroad aid extended by local municipalities
Of the state, and it is found that the total
county, town and village bonds issued for
this purpose amount to s8o,97S,0oO. The
bonds outstanding for other purposes reached
the sum of 81, 4s7, ! 900, SO that three-fourths
Of the bonded debt incurred by rural mu-
inequalities appears to have been for rail
roads. The cities are excluded from this
calculation; were they included, the aid en-
tended to railroads would be found TO be
about one-fifth the total local indebtedness
within the state. Little or none Of this vast
sum makes any dividend, or can be regarded
as otherwise than dead loss, the property
being in the hands Of first mortgage bond
holders, etc. Perhaps the towns that have
sunk this capital would have less reason to
complain of their loss were the railroads.
built in great part with their money, run for
their benefit. But in most cases they are
employed in transporting products from the
West that directly compete with the products
of the New York towns which built them,
while in freight rates the railroads discrim-
mate heavily against New York and In favor
Of the competing West This is very op-
| pressive 10 the farming interest, but Is done
Ia obedience TO the demands of Eastern
manufacturing and commerce, In total dis
regard Of Eastern agriculture. There are
indioations that our farmers are awakening
TO their interests In this matter, and do not
propose longer to allow railroads, 10 the
building of which they have so heavily con-
tributed, to run their trains past their doors
freighted with Western products carried at
rates less for one thousand miles than they
are charged on the very same crops for one
hundred miles. II is fragrant injustice,
and demands prompt remedy. This rernedy
is entirely in the hands Of the sufferers,
however, and nobody will pity them so long
as they suffer only because they lack the
energy 10 put an end 70 the wrong.