The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-05-07
WIT AND WISDOM.

The linen buster is just beginning to
get the laugh on the army overcoat.
Water that has stood over night in an
open vessel should no, be used for cook
ing. a@~'} .'.' '...
No horse-car conductor is too bashful
to ask male PASSENGER to nelp him lift
the car on the track. '''.-'.'.
A mans curiosity never reaches the
female standard until some one tells him
his name was in yesterdays paper.
Counsel to witness-"R ou're nice sort
Of fellow, you arep' tWitness-"I'd say
the same ofpyoes sir, onlysl'm on my
oath" s. ii II p il ! 4 M. VII
It is a positive fact that the poet who
will coolly and deliberately make
distress RI yme with mistress is born,
not made. & Hill I rFf55i$,g s#5 Fl
This is an imitation Of Mr.. Norristown
Williams: A medical exchange says seal
skin caps are so warm that they cause
the hair of the wearer to fall ont This
is probably the reason most editors are
baldhcaded. *,~~ - PE@.IF = ''
"Oh, ma, if Jesus is Gods son, where
is Gods wife," asked a sweet little boy.
''God's wite2 l--you-why, Charles
Gods wife" That boy wouldn't bulge.
"Yes, where is Gods =. wife," Goods
wife, my son-he-God was widower."
That satisfied him.
A philosopher says that women do not
like to remember. He is wrong. They
,ake exquisite delight in remembering
where their husbands leave their slippers
fho
90 roofing under the bed after the truant
Observation-Disclosures Courier
A handsome and witty Partisan lady,
at her last reception, observed Journalist
taking notes OF her bon mots, "Be care
full she said, ''thcse things are not to be
written down. Words are like birds
which pass while singing. If you try to
catch them they never come back again
The other daya provincial 1mposter
was taken up by the police Of Paris and
condemned 10 two years. imprisonment
clubs, to be worn in the heel Of a boot.
A liberal editor complains of this SEN
tence, because there is hardly gambler
in Paris who has not his fetiche. r
First friend lover glass of beer)-
"Weel, John, tae tell the truth, my father
wiz a cosmopolitan, but am misan-
thrope." Second ditto-"You're no. like
me, man. My father wiz collier, and am
collier too, although it's no. the best o.
profession the neo."
A French Colonel, on tour of inspec
ton, addressing soldier--Are you con
tent with your food2 The soldier-l es
Colonel. The Colonel-How do they
divide the rations? Does it not often hap
pen that some of you get a large portion,
and others small 7oneY The soldier
No, Colonel; al. the portions are small.
When, just ten years ago, Hector Der.
iioz came back from St. Petersburg suf-
fering severely from his disease, he went
The great physician examined him
and asked, 'Are you anything Of phil.
osopher?" .rg s-~rs -.~.--- .E.. ,..2
Eyes," said the patient. ..> ~ ~ ,.-
Then you'd better get all the conso
lation out of your philosophy that you
cantor you will never recover" - ~"
IF there is ever time in the life of The
washerwoman when her heart Is made tc
beat with JOY, it is when she finds /. dia
mond stud in the unwashed shirt of thu
young man who owes hersa years wash
bill. Then she laughs TO herself ant
says: "Hell pay that bill before he get
that back, as sure as my name is Matild
Rome Sentinel. And the youn,
man laughs and says to- himself
"There's a $40 wash bill paid with a q
cent dianond.s &C.. ~ Ill.,.
A Observation-Disclosures in Jail names
Dennis McGinnis, refused to- work. Til
keeper said toshim: s''.McGinnis, you g
to work or the pump a'- ''Niver,'' repHe
the Irishman. @sAesecond time the keep
er ordered Mc9innis to work. but he re
fused to bulge an inch. p" ''Now for tn
last time, McGinnis,"' exclaimed 81. th
keeper, "you go to work or to the pump.
"Niver, sir" said McGinnis, straighten
ing up to the full dignity Of a man. "Bt
dad, sir, I'll lave the, Jail first" rs ts6f
A young lady was sitting with gal
liant captain ina charmingly decorate
recess. On her knees was q diminutiy
niece, placed there pour. les conuena,,ce
In the adjoining room, with the doe
open,were the rest Of the company. Say
the little niece in jealous and very al
dible voice, "Auptie, kiss me too.'