The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1879-07-15
NUMBER -22.
sMisrella,g
An Essay ON Woman.

an Essay Oh w Omans sok
After man came woman. 81
And she has been after him ever since.
She is a person Of noble extraction,s
being made of mans rib. :
1 don't know why Adam wanted to
fool away his ribs in thatsway, but sup
pose he was not accountable for all he
did
Itcosts more to, keep a woman than
three dogs and shot gun.
But she pays you back with interest
by giving you house full of children
to keep you awake at night and smear
molasses candy all over your Sunday
coat. 80
Besides, wife is a very convenient
|articlesto have about the house. -
She is handy to swear at when you cut
yourself with razor, and don't like
blaming YOURSELF s
Woman was not created perfeet.,o
She has her faults--such as false hair
and false complexion, and so on.
But che is great deal better than her
|neighbors, and che knows it. ------,
Eve was woman.
She must have been moral wife, for
it cost Adam nothing to keep her in ,
clothes
Still l don't think she was a bit hap.
py. n3 4s-sa
She couldn't go to sewing circles and
air her information about everybody she
knew, nor excite the envy ofsother Ia
dies by wearing her new winter bonnet
to church.
Neither could she hang over the back
fence and gossip with her near neighbor.,
All these blessed privileges were de-,
MED her
Poor Eve! she's dead now.
And the fashion she inaugurated is
read now.
But the only place where her pIimi-
tive style is emulated is in certain por-
tions of Africa, where the women con-
slider themselves in full dress when they
have a postage stamp stuck in the center
of their foreheads. ~
Young ladies take good deal of stock
in classics and learn fast. IN
When you see young lady student
from Vassar, with an absorbed look in
her eye, and her lips moving, you under
stand at once that she is memorizing a
passage from Virgil. @ tiasisR ~
But perhaps closer inspection will re-
veal the fact that she is only chewing
gum. flT n mA
A woman may not be able to sharpen
q lead pencil or hold an umbrella. but
she can pack more articles in trunk
than man into horse wagon.
The happiest period of woman's life
is when she is making her wedding gat-
ments. ls sl
The saddest is when her husband
comes home late at night, and yells to
her from the front door steps to throw
out handful OF keyholes Of different
sizes.
There is some curiosity in feminine
nature
For instance, / once knew a young la
dy who could easily pass another one
on the street without looking around to
see what she had on.
Poor thing! She was blind. =
One of the worst habits. a woman. can
get into is riding habit. hsil
Butit is not much worse than the
modern walking dress which ladies per-
sist in wearing on the street.
When woman approaches crossing
she stops for one fteting instant, gives
sudden kick that would fire the envy
of Mexican mustang, and catches her
train on the fly. a h-a -
The average age of woman is about
Twenty-Five. f5i s zi,fg4
She never lives TO be very old.
Some of them look well advanced in
years, but you should not judge by APP
pearances. 9ea7.l g sss
If you will take the trouble to ask,
woman how old she is, you will get at
the matter, and find out she is quite
young. She seldom passes her thirtletb
birthday. Elea .ae.i
About that time she begins to tear out
certain leaves in The family Bible.
Scientific men are trying to explain
why women can't throw stones with the
force and precision of The sterner sex.
This is glaring nonsense. ) sSsy
Women may not be able 10 throw
stones with force and precision, hut they
can hit the mark every time with a grid
iron or stick of stove wood. Expe-
rience has taught me that. n