Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-10-17
Fun.

Sohieo Hon 1arl5 that bon
nets are 20 be Worn on the head here
after.
Man wants but little here below. and
the McGregor Meas justly thinks he can
get it quickest by advertising.
In these artistic days. when Won are
asked to take a drink, you are REQUEST
ed to come and decorate your inside
-Bg6dlo Every Saturday.
A young lady's nat blew oh and was
run over by hroad-wheeled cart. The
ribbons were somewhat soiled, but the
hat is now the latest Fall shape.-Nor-
rist0,Va Herald.
| never had man cum to me for ad-
vice, but before hegot thru he had more
advice to offer than to ask for.-JoSh
Billings.
AT a social gathering few days since
the following toast was proposed and
drank: "In ascending the hill of pros
perlty may We never meet friend"
A correspondent wants to know what
to DO when dog shows signs of hydro
phobia. Climb tree.
The Illuminated pumpkin graces the
fence-post or flashes through the shrub
berry, because its hour has come for do
ing so.-Danb1try Meas.
In some parts of Texas, says the St.
Louis Globe Democrat, the streams are so
dry that the fish have to wear busters
to keep their clothes from being spoiled.
Some crusty, rusty, fusty, musty, dus-
ty, gusty curmudgeon of man gave
no 81 III.
Our e-engines-may they be like
our old maids-ever ready, but eve
wanted"
A person who had obtained free
railroad pass asked the ticket agent if
"he could embrace his wife" "Prob.
ably the official replied, "but prefer
to see her before promising positively"
Distracted mother: "lf you children
make such noise shall go out of my
mind" Young rip: go on, mother,
I'll mind the young 'uns while you're
gone. Fun.
A ton of gold makes fraction over
half million of dollars, and when a
man says his wife is worth her weight
in gold, and she weighs 100 pounds, she
Is worth $50, 000.- Yoakers Gazette.
The Auburn advertiser remarks that
"the welkin rings" OF course it does.
Did the advertiser ever know of well
kin that didn't ring? p. S.-By the
way, what is welkin?-4ibanv Journal
When you pick up paper and pc
ruse a sublimely sentimental or deeply
philosophical essay, the last line of
which reads, "sold by all druggists"
you are forcibly struck with the truth
of that conclusive remark Toronto
Graphic
The Okolona States editor goes on con-
quering and to conquer as a lecturer.
AT Freeport, ILL.,, the people turned out
us one man to hear him. z. S.-The
one man alluded to bought ticket, and
nobody else in town did-Aibaay Jour
nal
In u circus at Paris, Ill.,, suddenly
crazed young lady ran into the ring,
embraced the clown, and declared that
he must become her husband. The
audience said that it was the first orig
inal joke that they had heard IN Cir
Gus for twenty-five years.-Norristoun
Herald.
81 am the oak; you are the vine,"
remarked an ardent though silly lover
to his Marianne. "Let the vine there
fore, creep around the oak until it
reaches the topmost leaves" "And
finds nothing there" exclaimed the
heartless beauty.
The golden glow of harvest
Is smiling on the land,
The anthem OF the brooklet
Is singularly bland.
And while the scarlet leatlet
Across the meadow flies
The small boy enters the pantry
In which the pumpkin pies
Are located (and takes one out under his
coat)
-NeW York star.
The proprietor Of building site in
Wisconsin advertises his land for sale
in this wise: "The town of Poggis and
surrounding country is the most beautl-
full nature ever made. The scenery is
celestial; also two wagons and one yoke
of steers. "-Sentinel.
Let the next spelling reform conven-
ton be held in Maine, and adopt
measures to reform the spelling of the
lakes of that state. Some Of the lakes
there only a quarter of mile in length
have names half mile long. The re-
formers might wrestle with Lake
Magoguekunkittchognemusquitamacki-
nogue to begin WITH Norrist0on Her
aid.
An Italian and Greek are discussing
the glories of their respective father
lands; Greece is the boss country" said
exclaims the Grecian; 1T was from
Greece that all the saces and philoso-
pliers came-wasnt il?" at was-all
the sages and philosophers came from
Greece and so you haven't had any
since.
They we're counting what makes
the stars so bright tonight" she
softly. "Your eyes are so much bright
err ne whispered, pressing her little
hand. They are married now. Il won
der how many telegraph poles it
would take to reach to the
stars she said musingly. Gone
if it was long enough" lie
growled. "Why don't you talk COM
mon sense? -Rockiand Courier.