The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1879-03-14
VARIETIES.

1t may be very hard thing to be tried by
adversely, but how much harder to be tried
by the County Judge!
--1fa man is on the way to the woods to COM
NIT suicide, and bull suddenly gives chase,
the chances are that he will run for his life
isn't my photograph excellent?" said
a young wife to her husband. well, my
dear" replied he, there's little too much
repose about the mouth for it to be natural
=" What are you trying to read ?" asked a
visitor of an old gentleman who was nodding
over the evening journal. ooh !" replied his
wife, that's his snooze paper Chacdgo Trt-
6uRe.
"A cynical writer says: "Take company
of boys chasing butterflies; put long-tailed
coats on the boys and turn the buttflies into
dollars, and you have beautiful panorama
of the world
If an actor is DESTROYS of appearing in
several pieces in one evening, let him
smoke cigar in tro-glycerine factory
lie will bring down the house. too.--Noirts-
tooon Herald.
"A Philadelphia man has Just sued law
yer. About day after tomorrow this reckless
person will think the everlasting rocks and
hills have toppled over upon him.-Cincin-
matt Enquirer.
-"Beautiful is the love and sweet the kiss
of a sister."-OM Paper Exactly, and of a
pretty cousin, too. If you have not a sister
or cousin, try somebody else's sister or
cousin; it's all the same.
Under the head of IAN old Landmark
Destroyed" a contemporary publishes an ac-
count of the burning of a whisky dstllery
A temperance editor would have called it IAN
old nose-mark destroyed.-Nor7fstoacn Heruld
He was getting license from the clerk,
and in reply TO the usual questions, First
or second MARRIAGE" he said, Its my second
requested me to marry again, and Pm going
to do it,"
Sympathetic old lady giving money to
solemn looking tramp: as it your inability
to work, my good man, that causes your de-
jected air" NO. mum it is my liability to
git suthin' to do that keeps me all the time
pensive and cast down."
Pedestrian (who has dropped half
crown in front of "the blind"C "Why YOU
COMPOUNDED humbug, you're not blndm-
Beggar: Not l. sir! If the card says am
they must have given me wrong one I'm
deaf and dumb. "-Funny Folks.
Ten dimes make one dollar" said the
schoolmaster Now, go on sir Ten dollars
make one-what?" "rhey make one mighty
glad these times" replied the boy, and the
teacher, who hadn't got his last months sala-
ry yet, concluded that the boy was about
right.
-Ofall the vegetable productions which
Dprpl oC Inv mnp IN ln;,
dry state carbon forms nearly onc-half by
weight; oxygen rather more than one third :;
hydrogen little more than five per cent; sui
phur one to five per cent. and phosphorus
about thousandth part.
"A colored firm recently dissolved partner
ship and posted the following notice to the
public: Ode dissolution of co-parships here
toto resisted betwiX me and Nose Jones' in de
barber profession am heretofore dissolved
Pussons who owe must pay to the subscriber
Dem what the firm ose must call on Jones, as
de firm is involved.
An Unlocking fellow was asked how he
could account for nature forming him so ugly
Nature was not to blame" said he, "for when
was two months old, | was considered the
handsomest child in the neighborhood, but
my nurse one day snapped me away for an
other boy just to please friend, whose child
was rather plain looking"
.-"What news to-day?" said Il merchant to
his friend lately. What news? replied the
other. Nothing, only things grow better
people are getting on their legs again" ION
their legsg" said the first Il don't see how
you can make that out" "Why, yes" replied
the other; folks that used to ride are oblig-
ed to walk now, is not that getting on their
legs again ?"
"A darkey was once attempting to steal a
goose, but dog raised an objection, and
Sambo retired. The next night during
thunder shower he attempted it again, and
just as he was on the point of getting away
with his fowl, the lightning struck close by
and the noise nearly frightened the poor fel-
low to death. Dropping the goose, he started
away muttering, "Peers to me dar's heep of
fuss made bout common goose"