davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

heard an old story aptly re-applied on the
piazza of the Grand Central last night good
deal en- thusasm was being expended on the last
veto, when q sober Republican finally said !:
"The last veto reminds me Of chain shot in Ken
lucky"
"Chain-shot in Kentucky ?" they all inquired.
"How's tbatH
"why, you see" said the first speaker, "a good
many years ago, and after the Mexican war,
there a. party of village louugers in 4 Ken
lucky tavern listening to the war exploits of q
fellow who had been down to the Halls of the
Moutezumas with our boys. Unexplained every
thing in the science of war To the wonder and
satisfaction of the yokels and finally of th EN-
asked him what chain shot was.
''Wby, chain shot," lays he; 'sho' chain shots
the simplest thing in the world. You just load
two cannon, half u mile apart, with two cannon
balls that fastened by chain, you fire 'en
both of when the enemy's troops are comm up
in force, and the chain takes down the whole
division Of 'en It's the neatest thing in artil
lery practice"
This was satisfactory t. all except one old
codger, who took his corii-cub pipe out of his
mouth and remarked:
"But look ah-heah. Sposen, sposen, now, only
one gun goes off n
"On, then, says the military hero, the bloody
thing slings round and plays hell with our fell
lows Now, it strikes me that only one of our
guns has gone off this season. It's o veto gun,
and the bloody thing is singing around and
playing -"
A loud burst of laughter interrupted the SEN
tence.-Nym CriRkle, IN NeW York Uorid.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14
unser.oII and the street Preacher.

A street preacher here, who labors at the po-
lice courts and wherever he can find sinners in
Washington, (Which is les, trouble than to con-
vert them after they are found), and who is sup
ported by contributions from religious people,
went to Bob Ingersolls office the other day to
leave some of his tracts. Mr.. IngersOll," said
he, "a man of your great talents could be Of
such service to our caused, if you would only re-
pent and follow the Lord instead of being His
enemy" Il am not His enemy" replied Inger-
soil, 'for if the Lord was back upon the earth to-
day, and should come right here 70 Washington,
I'll venture I'm the only man in the city who
would indorse his note for $780," The minister
considered the case HOPELESS, and left.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14
DIR. JOHN BULLS
GREA! REMEDIES
DIR. JOHN BULLS
SMITHS TONIC syrup,
FOR THE CURE OF
FEVER and AGUE
or CHILLS and FEVER.
FEVER and AGUE
or CHILLS and FEVER.

The proprietor Of this celebrated medicine. Justly
claims for II superiority all remedies offered
Ia the pablo, for the SAFE. CERTAIN, SPEEDY. and
PERMANENT cure Of Ague and Fever, Chlls and
Fever whether Of short long standing He refers ia
the entire Western and Southern country to bear him
testimony to the truth Of the assertion that i'm
whatever will u fail to If the directions strictly
followed and carried out In great many cases. single
dose has been sufficient for cure and whole families
have been cured by single bottle with perfect resto
ration to general health 1t H. however prudent and In
every certain cure II its is continued In
smaller doses for week two after the disease has
been checked, especially in difficult and long stand
ing Usually this medicine will not require any
aid to keep the bowels In good order Should the patient
however require o cathartic medicine, single dose Of
BULLS VEGETABLE FAMILY PILLS will be sufi-
Gent.
The genuine SMITHS TONIC SYRUP must have DR..
JOHN BILLS private stamp on each bottle. DIR. JOHN
BULL only has the right to manufacture and sell the
original JOHN J. SMITHS TONIC SYRUP Of Louis
ville Ky. Examine well the label each bottle. If my
private stamp is not each bottle do not purchase
you viii be deceived.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

THERE are some Chinese in New Zealand, and
they are evidently not behind their countrymen
elsewhere in strategy. 1t is related that in
Otago, where Scotchmen are majority of. the
colonists, q contract for grading road was to
be let. The lowest bid was signed "M'PhersOn."
Notice was sent to the said NJ Pherson to m eet
the board and complete the contract. In due
time they met, but behold, M'Pherson was yell
low in hue and had an unmistakable pigtail
"But," gasped the President, "your name cant
be M'Pherson ?" "Alee lightee," chesrfully
answered John; nobody catch contact in
Otago unless he name Mac" The Contract was
signed.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

STILL AT IT.-"What are you doing, Rather
ford ." asked Mrs. Hayes the other morning be-
fore breakfast, hen she entered the Presdent's
library and found him writing rapidly, and a
huge pile of MSS. in front Of him. why" re
piled Mr.. Hayes, without luuking mp, 81 am pre-
pairing veto No. s." Veto No. 5 p echoed Mrs.
Hayes. why, Congress has adiouruedr' II
believe that is So" returned his ExccIlency, jab.
bling his pen in the INK 'but q veto message
will he handy to have in the house in case Of m
emergency .n-Norristorn Herald.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

HOLDING THE MIRROR Up TO HENDRICKS
"NO, no, no." stoutly calculated Mr.. Hendricks,
there's an end Of it. will not do it, won't ac-
cept, shan't take the second place any body 3
ticket, shan't do it, won't, won't, l won't.
Say" he added, coaxingly, after resolute pause,
"who's talking about me for the second place,
anyhow What do you reckon my chances
areP'-Harkeye.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

LEADvILLE SIGNs.-Meantime, by way of tenn
porary valedictory, let me ask your attention to
two signs:
square meals with the corners on"
"Washing, Ironing, and Going out Whiterashing
done here."-CorrespoRdenceB Boston .idrertiser.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

Hop Bltters arc the Purest and Best
Bltters ever made.


They are compounded from Hops, Buchu,
Mandrake and Dandell0n,-the Oldest best,
and most valuable medicines in the world and con-
tain all the best and most curative properties Of
al other Bitters, being the greatest Blood Puri.
Ter, Liver Regulator, and Life and Health Re
storing Agent on earth. No disease or Ill health
! can possibly long exist where these Bitters are
used, sovaried and perfect arc their operations.
They give new life and vigor to the aged and
fnnrm- To oil whose employments cause irregu-
larity OF the bowels or urinary organs, who re.
Quire an Appetizer, Tonic and mild Stimulant,
these Bittefs are Invaluable. being highly cura-
tive, tonic and stimulating, without Intoxicating.
No matter what your feelings or SYMPTOMS are,
what the disease or ailment Il, use Hop Bitters.
Don't wait until you are sick, but II ouonly ieel
bad or miserable. use the Bitters at once. II may
save your life. Hundreds have been saved by 90
doing. ~ $780, a will be paid for case
they WIN notcure or help.
Donotsuffer yourself or let your friends suffer,
but use and urge them to use Hop Bitters.
Remember, Hop Bitters IL no vide, drugged,
drunken nostrum, but the Purest and Best Medi-
cine ever made; the Invalid's Friend and
Hope," and no person or family should be with
out them. ythe Bitters to-day.
Try Hop Cough Cure and Pain Relief.
poa sAIl II ALL DRUGGISTS.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

Boston Post He was Disguised boy. He had
exercised great caution, and finally succeeded in
crawling, uuobserved, ulder the canvas into the
tent. Aud he found it was not q circus, but o
revival meeting in progress.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

THAT Boston youth was well informed in the
ways of women, who oferd himself to q girl in
this style: "Do YOU love me, and will you be my
wifef Now, just tell me the truth about It,"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

NEW YORK Herald: Simply because Charles
Foster, Republican candidate for Governor of
Ohio, is ut the head of spoke factory, he is light
" thought of rs good felloe.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

BINGHAM YouNG, dying, left seventeen wild
ows, but not q blade of grass grows on his neg
lected grave. They CLAIM, they are not gras
widows.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

New ORLEANS PicaysRe: The oldest Mason il
to be matched against the oldest Odd Fellow ia
Q go-asyou- please contest to see which one viii
die first.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

Mt any competition with best makers any
European Worlds Exposition
NEW STYLES. with improvements. exhibited at the
CENTENNIAL; elegant new in great variety.
Prices rery forrest consistent it'll best material and work
manshp. Organs sold for cash nsallmens rented
until rent pays Ecery Organ warranted gre entire sat
iaetion 70 erey reasonable purchaser IlE MONEY RE-
TURNED. ILLUSTRATED CATALOG ES sent free
MASON & HAMLIN ORGAN CO.-l4 fremont ST.,
Boston % Union Square. New York; 30 and 81 Adams
Street Chcapo; 81 Great Marlborough Street London
q Backer Sasse Vienna ia Collins Street. Melbourne
Nov. O
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

NORRisrowN Herald: Seventeen persons were
poisoned by drinking lemonade at n picnic, at
Lancsborough, Num-, the other day. Some
scoanarel must have put some lemons and sugar
m il
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

The same man who finds tho weather too
warm for church, sits under the blazing canvas
of circus without murmur.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

A Syracuse IN W undertaken went down the
track to bury the victim Of n supposed railroad
accident. As he lifted the woman's body teuder-
ly into the wagon, she rubbed her eyes and ex-
claimed, "Hello, guess l muzzer ben sleep! :"
He dropped her.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

New YORK Post: One Of the latest Western
notions rs tho substitution of bats for pigeons in
shooting matches. Wouldn't it not be still more
beneficial to substitute potato bugsf
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

'sTHE sun never sets on David Davis.n-Nee
Tork Herald. But il David Davis should sit
down on the sun! Eheu.-7eledo Commercial.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

BUSY man at Columbus, Ohio, keeps pho
nograph ready for use in his office, aud when
nybody begins to tell him a long story. he says,
"Just talk il into the instrument, and I'll listen
to it by and by"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

MAINE political speaker mentioned some
body as Shylock, and an auditor asked who
Shyloek was. IF you don't know" the orator
scornfully replied, 'youd better 20 home and
read your Biblen
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

A PUEBLO Indian considerably astonished the
Inspector in San Ildefonso, n. NJ, by replying to
his inquiry Is to the crop prospects, ugh
muchee dam good CROP by God.r
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

IT was IN Irishman who said of an enemy that
"he would spit in your mouth when your back
was Turned"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

Punch: Visitor: "And what did your goliath
era and godmothers do for youf" Little one !:
"Knife, fork and 'poonw
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14
10 THI wArKRMELoN.

Come TO the mortal. a. he sits
Upon dry goods box, and sips
The nectar from thy juicy lips
Come to the youngster. ~ he nifs
Across the high and peaked fence,
And moves with ecstasy intense
Thy charms from Oh the native vine.
And thou art terrible.
o, Augustbor moustrosity,
Incarnate colicosityl
Beneath thy emerald bosom glow,
Like Offering bubbles In the wine,
The iurid fires Of deadly voc,
And from thy Vaccinations grow
The pain. the cramp. the pang the throe-
And all we fear or dream or know
OF agony is thine.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14

YOUNG man At . musical party being tol,
bring out his old lyre," brought pat his moth
er-in-law.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14
BULLS
SARSAPARILLA.

Read the olo,cing extract Of letter from Ars Rirerz.
rife Of Rer DR.. Rirers Of the most learned eloquent
and popular NiniseTs Of the Methodist Episcopal Church.
and sco at s time 81 tcrng 'cds stationed at broadway
Church, Louisville Ky.
LOUISVILLE, KY, Oct. G. 1850.
Doctor John Buu-Dedr Sr:-Many thanks to you for
the medicine You have 50 kindly given me have been
physicians. Some pronounced my spine s0me my lungs,
and my heart 20 be the seat Of disease have
been burnt bstered and cupped till had become dis
henrtened. Several very eminent physicians who
ined my spine informed me that threatened with
seton would relieve me- had perfect horror Of that
and hesating about having one inserted when yon
sent MIN me your s srs ,srrisH S
most pain in the right side Of head, especial
ly when would read write for length Of time and
rising my feet would be perfectly blind for
eral minutes and would have Ia hold to something to
prevent falling.
Ia entirely relieved; suffer but seldom with my spine,
and then not aoutely My appetite is goo indeed,
for the first time in my life enjoy dinner more than
You kindly four bottles again last night and
began again this morning and hope to be entirely re-
eved Please accept heartfelt thanks and best Wishes
N' '''' ''' NIB. c. RIVERS,
Ny Journal abounds with similar letters all Of which
guarantee to be genuine and written by the persona
whose name they bear,
Do not suffer yourself to be imposed Don't be
drawn away after and doubtful experiments. Don't
risk your health by letting novices experiment upon you
with their trash.
Ny sarsapara has stood the test of trenty five years
1t is still the Sarsapaa of the day and Of the age
erng all others In popularity and in its curative
qualities.
Avoid all those who trying to palm of you other
extracts of Sarsaparila called. Remember 1t is DIR.
John Bulls Sarsapara Of Louisville KY, that Is the
old and reliable remedy for impurities of the blood and
lima fa Alxavs hsar hat in mil nd
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14
ANOTHER TESTIMONY.

BENTON BARRACKS. Mo-, April 30 1866.
Doctor John BuH-Dear Sir = Knowing the efficacy OF
your Sarsaparilla and the healing and beneficial quail.
ties 1t possesses, send You the following statement of
my case:
was wounded about two ago, was taken prison
and confined for sixteen months. Being moved 80
often. my wounds have not healed yet. have not
up n moment since wounded. / shot through
the hips Ny general health Is impaired, and need
something to assist nature have more faith in your
Sarsaparia than anything else wish that which Is
genuine. Please express half dozen bottles, and
Oblige, GAIT. c. T. JOHNSON.
ST. Louis No.
PS-The following written April 30 iSe6. by Mrs.
johnson. mother Of Capt. johnson:
DR.. John BuH-Dear Sir = My husband skillful
surgeon and physician in Central New York where he
died leaving the above c. p johnson to my care. At
thirteen years of age, he had q chronic darrhea and
scrofula for which gave him your Sarsapariia. II
cured Ai have for ten years Recommended 70 many
in New York. Ohio and Iowa for scrofula
and general debility Perfect has attended IT,
The Effected Of sercfa and Jrr sores
almost miraculous very anxious for my to
again have to Sarsapara He is fearful
Of getting spurious article hence his writing to You for
it, His wounds terrible but believe he win recover
Respectfully,
JENNIE JOHNSON
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-08-14
An Enthusiastic Friend Of Sanford's
Radical Cure.

MAINE INSURANCE AGENCY,
rs Pine street. Sc. Louis, No., Feb. T. lss7.>
A. "A. NKLLIEI, Washington Az. City, Dear Neilier
have for years been troubled with Catarrh and
for the past have suffered seriously with h
Noticing your advertisement Of sAx!osp's REnEpr
HADIcAL CrRK),I decided 10 try II have used only
bottles and result feel much relieved that
presume on personal relations and write this to
you and AK that you take get
prominently before the public, that Others may have
such relief Is have. have recommended Il to quite
their high estimate Of It's value and good enects
with them.
really think t particularly adapted TO wants Of ST.
Louis people, and they all ought TO know OF II. and
those need t should try IT, will risk the assertion
that 1000 walls tas sampled 10 be given away will
Try some plan. Letthe people have Il they need IT,
believe could sell 500 hotties myself OF course you
could largely increase this number. Why not try
Yours truly, WA. BOWEN.
Sold by AL Wholesale and Retail Druggists and Deal
ers in Medicine throughout tho United States and Can
adas. WEEKS POTTER General Agents and Whole
sale DruRgists, Doston, Mass.
, 1879-02-20

air, and the youthful lenttet snilcs after him
tnore thouyhtfu1ly thnn ever.-Burdtt,e.
What paradoxtcnl creature man tst lie
takes To bsotting-pnpcr 10 keep from blotting
paper.
A clock at the farts Exhibition fired on pis.
tol hourly. Tite exhibitor explained that 1t was
to "kill timer
Onc writes illcalbly to hide bis bal spelling,
rs ole contents ones self with llnlt stnltD IL
conceal poor teeth.
,.'' AM Why fs mn 1r!shman like sbipl". asked
Nike "i3ctlad. its l!ceausc atrh onu OF 'cm is
followed by wakc.H
"What's jogrnp1,y, Duii" "It's telling OF
fofrfn lMlils that We know nothin' nbout BY 'cuto
chaps tint never seen 'cn,." Bill got govern
lncnt sisuatiot!.
"WllY Wlll!et" said his mother at dinner,
"'.you can't possibly cat nnutler plato Of pna-
ding, car, yo'tf' Oh, ycs, eat, ma; one moro
plate will Just Mi Tic BILL"
II Ajax Ind only bootcd lIe,,tulng-rod apcfrt
nt tue time tl!ni l,c ttc1cd ic thundct-holt, hta
tcnown would rest OH more solfd bnss than II
docs ',ow,-sSfannfuni Ad,ueate
Docs prohibition prohlbItr' asks nn ex-
change. We don't know. Now stand sfill
Or, If you want MI easier one to begin, duus
emigration nEmnaf-E1eha'We.
There onco was rarrnlous drummer,
WHO likewise was known as hummer.
lla went 10 tho West
TO pull down his vcat,
And didn't get back TIL ucxt summer
Broashitt County, Ky.,, is described in the
Louisville Coaritr-Joltr,tn! as:
80 iand where revolver antl rna
Arc nael for tic pHrpnse VI erttllny d!epntcB;
Whgrc life IL regarded az only II trtHe,
And Ills usra for people I'll die In their boots"
, 1879-02-20
CURRENT GOSSIP,


MANY'a C1I1I4I.,
81. LnHft 3trtes.JoHrnaf.
Mary had little chill
Which gave her heaps OF pain;
And. when thr tried To et,ako that chill.
II shook her hack again.
II followed her 10 scho0l ono day,
Which was against the rule;
II made tho children lnneh 10 SEQ
Poor Mnfy shake In Achuol.
And 40 tho teacher sent her iloolc,
And babe her lake tuillc llo.
TT reconstruct hcr Rretem and
TO li1nit!ate tho bI1c.
What makes poor Mary l1avn the chtllg
And rbnke 10 nwftfj had!
Why don't shr take cross Of pills
Arn wear a ltScr.pntif
, 1879-02-20

f"HoHA t19fs' NF0R1*
The AFTERNOON oI yesterday WIS well Advanced
when Capt. George Prince. VITA last Wednesday,
before Judge Fox, pleaded guilty Of obtain!ng
fraudulent pcnsIon.clalIns from the Government
to tho as,ount of 900, WIS brought Into tho
presence Ut The District Court, Ills manner
was composed, and On his clcur, wc!l.cut fca-
tures nu look Ut grief or detection rested.
After brief renlurks Judge Fox sentenced
Capt. Prlnca to ten ycursf imprisonment At hard
labor ut rhomastuIl.
Capt. prucs received bis sentence without
perhaps The ghost Of smile that for an nstMut
passcd ucFoss Ills tenturcs. llp was taken back
10 the county 1aIl by tho United States Marshal,
Wllcnce, tn u day Or two, he will be sent to
Thonlnston.
10 u reporter Capt. Prince said: ~ was On
examiner IT widows pensions on The Iowa desk,
but. "a ior beginnng auy fraudulent transAc-
ttglIs O! TIC kind alleged while In thc Fenslon
loose manncr ol du!ng business at that o'llcc cl,-
outraged me, after resigned my clerkslip in
1876. III the bctcf lint could successfully carry
ont sct,eme for dcffau,ling The Government
an4 it worked 10 cllarm. For twelve years |
drcw pcl,s.ons for sir widows who never welded
nor wore Wteds save In MY own imagination,
aMs ] might hayo continued - DUNG II had
closing IT up. KILLED oil QUO Of ny widows
nne tu hcr blace substituted Sabna Il Mulgr,
A,l no suspicion MRS axc!tcd ut the Pension
0ce. II had kept Mrs. Nudge Vt. Ports.
have been we'll. But moved her u Bath, a,ld
when attempted In kill hcr of. the matter ut
trnctctl attention"
"'rl.en you wroto the notice OF Mrs. llutlge's
deatl, which llrst appeared IN the Boston t'ost."
"Ycs.'' replied thu Captain, ~ went to Bos-
ton Tor thut very PURPOSE, and tlicru's where
again put iny foot tn ~
, 1879-02-20
QUIls9.-


Excellent wash for tho face-Water.
4 fare proposltton-" Tickets, please.it
Birds are not noted for courage, but many OF
them die glnlc.
sone tsaulps are good singers until they strike
d chor1-of wood.
Tho fellow who rang the bell for false alasm
Of fire tollcd d lie.
There Will slways ho an s.-N.-tisl difference
letwcen the North and South.
Whatever objection may be opposed to whip
plug, II ia at least uuleniable tat 1t makes boy
smart.
Young ,nan, devoted to and expressly manu-
factursd for society, claspIng hla head 10 agony:
"Ah, by Joye. how my head achest Awfully,
dentui-room: aOh! You'd better Lave It
pulled;" then, after thopgfSS,l pause,--"o or
Mled." Patient bseees stAr- slth an Injured
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-12-19

with .these'miners.that brought about these
difficulties.
Mr.. Conger welcomed the admission
because the treaty of 1868 declared thai
none but friendly Indians should go on the
reservation.
Mr.. Haskel-The Utes left their reser-
yation.
Mr.. Conger Why have miners gone
on this reservation Why have citizens
of the United States violated the treaty
Because they have the power to go there
and because they can make a disturb
ance there and excite the Indians. and
then rush to Congress with a demand
that the Indians be driven from their
reservation.
Mr.. Belford-I most emphatically
deny that the people of Colorado have
given these Indians any reason for the
late outrages, and [ challenge the gen.
tleman to point to anything Of the kind.
The statement of the gentleman from
Kansas Haskell is not correct.
Mr.. Conger-I thought it was not cor
rect, but [ did not dare correct it my
self; laughter. | was feeling my way.
Mr.. HASKELL ressert what | assert
ed before that miners are on that reserva-
ton today.
The debate was further continued, the
rose without action, and the
House adjourned.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-12-19
Moffat's Life Pills,
Phoenix BitterS,

The Most Successful Medicines
in the World.
Established in 1885, by one OF
our Most Eminent Physicians,
and now used throughout North
and South America, with more
pleasing results than any other
Medicine.
MOffat'S Life Pills
are purely vegetable; they act
on the Stomach and Liver, and
regulate the entire system and
put all the functions Of the body
in a healthy condition, and
WARRANTED Il certain cure for
all MalariOuS Diseases, Torpid
Liver, Impure Blood, Jaundice,
Bilious Complaints, Dyspepsia,
Indigestion, COstiVeneSS, Merry.
GUS and Sick Headache, Colds,
Scuryy, General Weakness, and
Fever & Ague.
MOffat'S Phoenix BitterS
correct the SecretiOns Of the
Stomach, and are a Sure Cure
for SleeplesSnesS, Nervousness,
Dyspepsia, Female Complaints,
Weakness, Debility, etc.
Thousands of Certificates are
i'll our possession giving perfect
CURES effected by these invalu-
able medicines, and we are GER
tain that they will do just what
we have said. 1t is simply ask
ed that the afflicted will TRY
THEM ONCE, their use will con-
vince the most skeptical.
Pages Climax SaIve % cents a box.
M0fat's Life Pills % cents box.
MOffat's PhGniX Bitters S1.0O bottle.
~ Sold by Druggists everywhere.
]. P. MILLS, Sole Proprietor,
Sd Liberty Street New York.