Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1879-06-03
TRIALS OF AN ART CRITIC.

artist here, said the magistrate, "is as
sault and battery, | believe"
"Yes, sir"
"And your name is"
Potts. am art critic of the Weekly
SPy."
Estate your case
81 called at Barker's studio to sec his
great picture, Just finished, of George
Washington cutting down the cherry tree
with his hatchet' Mr.. Barker was ex-
pecting to sell it to Congress for $50
600. He asked me what | thought of
it, and after pointed out his mistake in
making the handle of the hatchet twice
as thick as the tree, and in turning the
head of the hatchct around so that George
was cutting the tree down with the ham
mcr end, asked him why he foreshort-
cned Georges leg so as to make it look
as if his left foot was on the mountain
on the other side of the river"
Ibid Mr.. Barker take it kindly"
asked the justice
''Well, he looked little glum; that 5
all. And then when | asked him why
he put guinea pig up in the tree, and
why he painted the guinea pig with horns,
he said that it was not a guinea pig, but
a COW, and that it was not in the tree,
but in the background. Then said
if | had been painting George Washing
ton | should not have given him the
complexion of a salmon brick; | should
not have given him two thumbs on each
hand, and should have tried not to
slew his right eye around so that, he
could see around the back of his head to
his left ear. And Barker said, oh,
wouldn't you" Sarcastic, your honor
And said, no, wouldn't, and wouldn't
have painted oak leaves on cherry tree,
and | wouldn't have left the spectator in
doubt as to whether the figure off by the
woods was factory chimney, or steam
boat, or George Washington's father taxi
ing smoke
(Which was it." asked the magistrate.
81 don't know. Nobody will ever
know. So Barker asked me what !
thought he'd better do? And | told him
| thought his best chance was to aban-
don the Washington idea and fix the
thing up somehow like the boy who
stood on the burning deck | told him
he might paint the grass red to represent
the flames, and daub over the tree 50 5
it would look like the mast, and pull
Georges foot to this side of the river 50 5
it would rest somewhere on the burning
deck; and maybe he might reconstruct
that factory chimney, or whatever it was,
and make it the captain, while he could
arrange the guinea pig to do for the cap
tain's dog
did he agrec?'
"Hc said the idea didn't strike him.
So then suggested that he might turn
itinto Columbus discovering America. Let
George stand for Columbus, and the tree
be turned into native, and the hatchet
made to answer for flag, while the
mountain in the background would answer
for the rolling pillows of the ocean. He
said he'd be hanged if it should. So |
mentioned that it might, perhaps, pass
for the execution of Mary, Queen OF
Scots. Put George in black for the
headsman, bend over the tree and put a
frock on it for Mary, let the hatchet
stand and work in the guinea pig and the
factory chimney as mourners. But Bar
ker said there would be somebody worse
hurt than Mary, Queen of Scots, if |
kept on"
"Didn't like it, hey
81 s'pose not. And | said that while
| did not want to force my advice upon
him, would say, if my opinion was
asked, that the best hope of that picture
would be to make it a representation OF
the deluge. Build in an ark around
George, put shirt on him and call him
Noah, crowd in other animals with the
guinea pig, let the factory chimney do
for Mt. Ararat, and the tree for the stove
pipe projecting from the roof of the ark.
Just as | had got the words out of my
mouth, Barker Knocked me clean through
the picture. My head tore out Washing
tons near leg, and my right foot carried
away four miles of the river. We had
it over and over on the floor for awhile,
and finally Barker whipped. am go
ing to take the law of him in the inter
csts of justice and high art"
So Barker was bound over, and Mr..
Potts went down to the Office of the Spy
to write up his criticism.-Mdr Adeler,
in the Neto York Weekly.