The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1879-04-18
NEW NOT -WEsTERs.

The first cane break-Abel's fractured
skull.
An honest dog is right up and down
that is purp-endicular.
Schuyler Colfaz is said to have cleared
SO. 600 from his lectures las year.
, What enormous legs firemen must have
as we often hear Of their using hose so feet
in length
An Idaho town having but one girl, is
called Onegirlia. How far is this from
Boise City?
Tho difference between church dea-
con and picture auctioneer is, the one
takes up and the other knocks down col
lection.
The Chinese drink little and never set
'em up, and in mary other ways they re-
fuse toy yield to the influences Of American
civilization. r
-" ALWAYS pay as you CO." said and old
man to his nephew. "But, uncle, sup
pose I havn't anything to pay with ?"
"Then don't co.
| "A Boston divine holds that no sermon
can have proper influence until it has been
delivered Is or 90 different times to the
same congregation.
He was twitted on his badness, and
retorted sharply: ''Well, g there are two
things you never saw in this world-a red
headed nigg " or bald-headed fool" &.
No matter how good natared man
may be, he will invariably get mad when
he discovers that there is no towel IN the
room, and he is compelled todry his face on
the bed quilt. a IS faszs p j /
| Mr.. TaImage's unpardonabis Ufeuse is
that he has rich and powerful congrega
tion to preach to, and this is wormwood to
the presbytery, composed mostly of men
who have 90 congregation at all.
John E. skinner,a printer employed on
the New Haven Courier, has received In
formation that he has fallen heir to $780,
900 by the death of Antoine Mercer. who
resided on the Island of St. Thomas,
| r-lHG tldu IOluCbu ulS uduuS dlu
saith: "There is no trade, why should |
advertise ?" But the wise man is not so.
He whoopeth it up in the newspapers, and
verify he draweth customers from afar
| Off
"A drunken man staggered through the
streets Red Rock, Pa, carrying eight lbs
of nitro-glyeerine in a bag on his back. He
finally fell and the resulting explosion did
not leave fragments enough Of him to
bury.
"A far-seeing editor says Young men
sending spring poetry to this Office will
please enclose names and addresses, not for |
publication, but as in evidence OF their in |
sanity in case they ara ever arrested for
murder"
Smoke is not, as many persons imagine |
lighter than air it is, however, carried up |
by the heased air, which, being lighter than
the surrounding atmosphere, sis pressed up-
ward. Smoke ascends because it is inter-
mixes with vapors, gases and warm air.
Alexander H. Stephens is credited with
saying: "It was widely heralded that we
would find relief for the people, but instead
of that we have been burden, and the
Forty-fifth Congress adjourned in deeper
disgrace than any Congress in the history
of the Government"
A small boy in Belfast, whose deport-
ment at school hai always ranked 100 per
cent, came home one day recently with his |
standing reduced to SO. "What have you
been doing, my son?' asked the mother.
"Been doing" replied the young hopeful,
"been doing just as have all along, only
the teacher caught me this time."
Every family find more or less bones
cumulating. Burn them with your wood.
and the ashes thus enriched is one OF the
most valuable Of all fertilizers. Money can
not buy any article which will SO fertilize
your soil. Bones thus consumed will quad
ruple the value Of wood ashes, which in
themselves are among the best of soil en-
richers.
There is one social dishonor which no |
one thinks it worth while to say much of in
reprobation, but which does more harm
than any other known to Us s-we mean the
dishonor of repeating conversations, opin-
ions, circumstances. not ma le under piom-
ise Of secresy. but which high sense of
honor would treat as confidential If, haply, /
high sense of honor were the rule.
If anybody knows an older Mason in
the country than Bryan MeGarvey, of
Louisville, KY, who has just died at the
age of 105 years, we shall be glad to hear
from him. He never called in d doctor in
his life, never drank any Intoxicating Ii
quor, but was fond of his pipe. He also
abstained from voting all his life, and took
his principal exercise in chopping wood.
-"My recollection of Bismarck says
an English writer, when used to see q
good deal of him at Frankfort, before he
was great man, is that he was very gross
feeder; indeed, once saw him devour a
fish that smelt SO high that it almost made
every one else in the room sick. And then
his hands wsie always filthy, aud he used
TO paddle them in his plate in a most un-
pleasaa 1T mannsr. Except for these pecu-
liarities, he was very agreeable man, talk
ing, it is true, thirteen TO the dozen, but
with sort of clever, reckless, daredevil
air."
Louis Schneider, the late amanuensis
Of the German Emperor, was man of odd
notions. The pillow on which his head
rested in his comm was the work Of his own
hands, and be had been engaged in making
it for thirty years, It was stuffed with his
own hair, which he had preserved from the
clippings of his lifetime. In color, 1t varied
from the light brown of youth to the snowy
white of age. In his viii, Schneider de-
scribed in detail the way in which he wish
ed to be buried, and wrote out the epitaph
that he desired to have placed upon his
Tombstone.
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