The Portland daily press., 1879-04-02
A HORSEBACK RIDE.
That Strictly Speaking Didn't Succeed.

A gentleman well-known in this city has
long had an idea that if there was one thing
which he could do better than another, it was
to ride horse, and that no matter how much
others might fail, he in this respect could
know no such word, no, not even with the re-
cent amendments to the Insolvent Law of the
State, to help him. This gentleman (suppose
we call him Colonel Smith, If for no other rea-
son than because his name isn't Smith, and he
isn't Colonel } concluded to 90 out to Deer.
ing one day last week, and instead of taking
the horse cars or walking, this internal luuatic
Col. Smith We menat to say-had to 20 and
make holy show of himself by hiring horse.
The steed he got hadn't beenvery much used to
that kind of work, 10 fact no man had mounted
it since its then owner, an honest old farmer,
had rode into town to get the news respecting
the surrender of Lee. The animal had some
good points, but, being willing to go didn't
happen to be among its failings-tif necessary
the Colonel will make affidavit of this before
Judge Knight) The Colonel mounted and
rode off amid such fiattering remarks as 'he's
green one, he isl che couldn't keep on
Sheep" Still he wasn't much discouraged, but
his arder was little chilled, and his back
more SO, when the horse urged on, and insti-
gated by the Devil, probably, reared up sud-
denly, and deposited him in convenient water
course. Then the horse stopped. The Colonel
tried to mount again, but the horse objected,
and commenced to back. This wasn't pleas
ant. There was lack of agreement between
the Colonel and his steed which was anything
INIT oh MI rhn 81 ia al,y
the horse, and the horse preferred to
back himself, and in doing it dragged
his would -beride through the water course,
wetting him some more, but in new place.
1t may be remarked right here, that this crea.
ted GOODNESS between them. The colonel is
persevering young man, and he got seated
again, and started off, or rather the horst did,
in fine style. and continued to go for about six
rods, when he stopped, that is the horse did,
while the colonel kept right on for about rod
more. The ground that he ''lit'' on was of a
nature to create hard feelings, on the coloners
part, in relation to the horse. The horse, ON
his part, didn't feel hard at all. in fact, he did
things altogether too blamed easy" SO the
colonel said. The colonel got up, and moved
toward the horfe, and then ensued a moving
scene, for as fast as the colonel moved toward
the horse, the horse moved from the colonel
Still the colonel caught him, but wished be
hadn't in the end. After getting him in hand
once more, the colonel FROSTED" on the top of
the roadside fence, and smoked cigar, while
wondering If he'd better kill the horse, or only
kill himself; he concluded a. last, did this
gentleman by the name of
Smith We mean-to attempt the feat of riding
that horse home. Had he tried to ride flash
of chain lightning through an old-fashioned
quilting party, he would have succeeded better
than he did. This time, the horse determined
to make sure work. He reared some more,
and the colonel slipped off. Here we might
remark, hangs tale, but strictly speaking it
doesn't, as to tell the plain truth, it was the
colonel who hung by tail, aud it didn't save
him from kicking either.
The horse got home SAFE
The colonel isn't out yet, bat the doctors
hope he'll be soon. They can't fix his ear, be-
cause it wasn't found, and the fact that his
nose is broken may interfere with his good
looks to some extent.