The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-11-28

vile, Just twenty-five miles from home,
feeling tired, hungry and little dis
turbed ia, conscience. In this condi-
ton he called at Farmer Smythe's,
where he procured dinner and an invi-
tation to remain until the following
morning and rest himself. His father
and Farmer Smythe once went to school
together; Jeremy now profited by 1t.
But we hardly think he would have
tarried, SO anxious was he to get to the
city, only that Farmer Smythe had
three very pretty girls. Heptalina, the
oldest, was Is, just a year younger than
himself. and so fast did their acquaint-
anoe progress that he became the owner
of card bearing her name and address
before they parted. Jeremy slowed it
away in his left vest pocket, feeling
that the donor was, to say the least, an
angel, and that he somehow or other
had taken leap into paradise.
The remainder of his journey was
passed in kind of delightful trance,
from which he did not thoroughly
awake until he found himself in view
of the city. Then his heart gave a
great throb, for YVES he not soon to
know his destiny? He never had been
to the city before, and the sights were
30 new and startling that he was in a
tremor of excitement by the time he
reached the locality indicated In the
advertisement. He found the avenue
dirty one, No. 8 dilapidated concern,
and the woman at the door OF very hag-
gish appearance; but he summoned
courage to inquire if man was living
there who employed agents. She re-
piled that there was, and showed him
into small, shabbily-furnished apart
ment, where an oily-tongued old fellow
informed him that the article to be
canvassed for was grease extractor OF
the greatest merit; he considered it the
most marvellous discovery of the age,
and the rapidity of its sale was un-
precedented; agents were making fort
unes: the article was put up in 5O-cent
bottles; he would be pleased to furnish
Jeremy with few dozen, appoint terri
tory, etc. He charged agents half price,
so their profits were enormous.
Jeremy told the old gentleman he
would take but dozen bottles, as he
had not the means for larger invest
ment. The territory he would decide
upon before he left. The old gentle.
man limited to Jeremy that it might be
as well for him to begin to canvass in
some small country place, as he was
well, little verdant. Jeremy's tenn
per rose slightly, but he made no reply
for who wants to be told he is green,
even if he knows he is?
After limiting this, the old gentleman
left the room to get the bottles III
readiness for Jeremy. He had nc
sooner gone than girl of II or IL
entered the room by another door
Coming close to Jeremy, she whispered
"Are you going to be an agent Tor the
grease extractor?" Jeremy replied
that he was intending to be. Well
now; if you will never tell the ole
man nor woman, I'll tell you where
you can look through a keyhole an6
see him prepare it," she said, adding
that she knew he would not think il
wrong when he knew the cheat there
was about it.
She then directed him to the doc,
| WncIO uO COuio DUO bhC DIC
pared. In the fire. place, the professor
as the girl sneeringly called him, took
a bar of common bar soap, immersed il
in pail of water, shook the pail, and
then filled, corked and sealed the bottle
That SOAP" said the girl, "he buys
in quantities of soap maker in the
country. 1t is good soap for washing
clothes; but will no more remove grease
spots than any other common soap. Al
agent never goes with it but once. Blu
by advertising he makes fools of gooG
many, and considerable money on
of it,"
do you tell everybody that come.
the same you have me?" asked Jeremy
"No, don't often get chance" sh,
replied: "you see, the old woman jus
went ont, or / should not have got in
here. 1 mean to get away from then
pretty soon, as soon as can get another
place. They both drink and abuse mt
shamefully."
Jeremy did not stop to hear more
but took his hat and ran into the street
went at such pace until be was on
of sight of the house that policeman
on the corner had a great notion O
arresting him on suspicion of some
crime.
He never heard what the professor o.
the grease-extr .ctor thought of his con
duct. Dear, good Jeremy; he felt he
was too honest fellow to peddle soap
suds at so cents a half-pint bottle, ever
if his dreams of wealth were all dis
PEELED in moment. He, of course, fell
a pang of disappointment, and resolved
to return home again, after making 6
tour of the city. So he wandered UP
and down the streets, looking into shoI
windows and up at the gold-lettered
signs and placards, till shutdown. Then
he entered a bakery, invested cents
in biscuits. which he speedily devoured
and inquired for place where he would
be apt to get q nights lodging. A snap
pish woman behind the counter advised
him to go to the Montrose House, across
the way. Proceeding thither, he stalked
into the doorway, as he imagined mill
ionaire would, and asked the clerk
How much will YOU ask to keep me
here tonight" A little, slick haired
dandy-looking fellow, whom Jeremy al
ready had his eyes on as pickpocket
or somebody of about that stamp, stood