The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1879-11-01
THIS AND THAT,

Flour is rising. All good Aour should
rise.
Bergen Tunnel would be a good place
for the next walking match-the trains must
be kept running, however.
The ordinary life of locomotive is
thirty years. No doubt it would live much
longer if it didn't smoke so much.
Painted belts are to be worn directly,
so that most ladies will haYe to be- labelled
"Look out for paint"
AN old man with brilliantly red nose
should not be held up as shining example
for Young men.
DIR. Holland says mans character may
be judged by his cravat. Ii he wears no
cravat we suppose he hasn't any.
AT a church fair in Hoboken the other
night blind man drew a telescope. Ifhe
had good sight the chances are he would
have drawn glass eve.
"A critic, in noticing discourse on "The
Sayings and Doings of Great Men," remarks:
at is sad to observe how much they said
and how little they did"
"A celebrated German themest, to whom
was addressed thequestion, "What is man 2"
promptly replied, "a pinch of phosphorous
and bucketful Of water"
-" have love-letter," said the servant
girl to her mistress. "Wil We rude it 10 mel
! And here is some cotton wud ye stuff in yer
ears whole We rade tl"
I.ouiea r.r,, nal, mn
year Considering that she is neither Pc
destrian, nor plumber, nor Talmnge, tins
is doing very well.
Disturbed parent and his ive-ycar old.
-"See here, sonny what did your mother
tell you?" "She told me not IN jump"
"What makes you jump then ?" al didn't
hear her."
AN exchange has an article on GLOW to
run Newspaper" This should bc read
only by editors, as every other person in tho
world knows just how newspaper ought 10
be run.
-"Death of Prelate." wrote the editor
of the Winnipeg paper, in announcing the
end Of bishops life, bat the intelligent
compositor made it death of Pirate"
-"I'm going to move out Wost among tho
Indians" said an old bachelor to a friend,
"and l wish l were bald-heuded as You are.
What will remove lair from the scllp?'
"Get married, sir--marry blonde"
-Deadhead was the name Of winning
horse at jerome Park. Of course he was
bound to pass o the other hand, Ur,als
is the name of another horse Unras was
the last of the race.
When a city editor wishes to get up
big sale for his paper in the country, be
sends through an Office presided over by
woman, a postal card To correspondent,
on which is written "Send me full ac-
count of that scandal"
--Ebenezer Stone and his wife Flora, out
IN Illinois, were divorced not long ago, but
atterward they came to AN understanding,
were remarked, and are now happy togeth-
er, as far as we know. 1t was u case OF Ed
and Flo, it would seem; at least they are
tide now.
A professor lecturing on English Indus
tries, t. class of juveniles informed them
that it took seven men aud boy to make
pin. 81 expect" said n little fellow, "that
its the seven men that make the pin, and
that they use the boy to see if ii is sharp
enough"
Says an Albany daly-In view of tho
fact that no actress was reported Yesterday
as having lost her diamonds valued NJ
$3.50, 700, inclusive Of the necklace the Car
presented after one hundred aud eighty cun-
secutiye recalls before the curtain, we are
led to the belief that the Millennium is tol-
erably near at hand.
Boston has a Phiscognoscosphocraph
Society. The motto of the Phlscognoscos-
is "Breyity is the soul Of
wit" and his:ognoseosphoca is good
specimen Of it, If the Phsc ,gnoscospho-
craphcites were to start paper called tho
Phiscognoscosphocrapher, the editor would
quite doubtless call his brief paragraphs
"Phisoognoscosphocraphiculities."
-Barnum was interviewed in Philadel-
phia. He says that the report that Denis
Kearney once travelled with his show as
the "Wild man from Borneo" is not found
ed on fact Kearney travelled with him
,ne season as a "Boorighoula Cannibal," but
his language was so irightful that he shock
81 the deaf and dumb Patagonian, and un-
lernined the morals of the learned pig and
educated mules, Even the elephants threat
med to pack up their trunks and leave so
Aeamey was discharged.
"A very ugly gentleman was requested
~ beautiful woman to accompany her to
painters studio, where, having whispered
few words to the artist, she lett him, with
promise Of presently coming back. The
Gentleman asked the artist what he was
wanted tor. 81 thought you knew, sir" re-
lied the painter, "that am taking that
ady's portrait in the chsrucler of saint be-
ng tempted by the devil, aud that she wishes
gu to be good enough to sit for the temp
sr.
Two boys had few hot words and
ldden fight on High street, aud one ran
way, leaving the other with bloody nose
nd a mouth full Of "bawl." "seems to
le,' said a pedestrian who had halted,
that you are big enough to licA that 10y"
Course am" was the reply. "Ihen
Thy don't you run after him and do it?"
'Cause-cause," gasped the lad, 81 don't
ant 10 get very mad at him until his folks
III pears are all gone Amer that I'll catch
i'm aud most break his neck"
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