Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1879-03-14
ALL SORTS,

Two Georgians have married each
others daughters.
Did a donkey ever die of softening
of the brayingP-BoSton Transcript
What is so lonesome as deserted
stand on wet dayP- Wheel
ing Leader. ..I5.
An anti-treating society at Roches-
ter, N. Y, has a large and increasing
membership.
Some malignant slanderer says:
woman needs no eulogist, for she
speaks for herself
The old schoolmaster, faithful over
a few things, holds the ruler over many.
-NeW Orleans Picayuee.
The husband is twenty-three, the
wife thirteen, and there are now three
of them-all of New Haven.
Never step on dogs tail unless
the other end of the dog is mile away
from the tail YonberS Gazette.
Think twice before you speak; es-
pocially at an auction sale of old tin
pans Turner's Fails Reporter.
When you leave a chilly room al
ways take the door with you as far as
the hinges will permit.-N Y. Ne0s.
Zero at the north and Zulu at the
south. These two have kept England
occupied through the winter.-RhttadeL-
phiG Bulletin.
We have yet to hear of the first
woman who proposes to do thousand
washings in thousand quarter hours.
OIL city Derrick
-" On this head" said the lecturer,
"there is nothing left to be desired"
The bald-headed man in the front row
immediately rose to call to order.
In the bright lexicon of youth, it
is said, there is no such word as fail;
but that is where the l. o. y. differs ma
terially from mercantile reports
Biddleford Miniature.
"A man named Marcus Wright, of
Illinois, has fallen heir to $1,000 900.
We'd rather be Wright than be Pres
ident"-provided he gets the money
NorriSto1On Herald.
Meeting a commercial traveller who
was pretty drunk, Grubbins remarked
to his wife: Tight as drum, amt
he?" "Worse'n that" she answered,
"he's tight as a drummer"
"A man at South Bend Ind, buried
his wife in nice style, but after the
crowd had dispersed from the grave he
sold the silver handles of the coffin back
to the undertaken at reduced rates.
-"What ever shall do with such
bad, bad boy" said loving mother as
she strove to impress on the mind of
her six-years-old tow-head his manifold
troublesomeness. 80, you let me
alone; amt half as bad as can be-"
The editor of the Cincinnati Saturday
Night discovered that his girl wore two
sets of gold mounted false teeth, and
he sat down and wrote poem enti-
tied, Rich and rare were the gums
she wore"
The Prince of Wales has been
elected an honorary member of Bos-
ton militia company. Unless the Gov
ernment wishes the Indians scared to
death this news should be broken to
them very gently. -PhiIGdelphiG CItron-
icle- Herald.
"A pauper, woman supported for two
years by the overseer of the poor at
Jamaica, Long Island, was sent to the
lunatic asylum Tuesday, and when un-
dressed $500 in cash and a handbook
representing $4,000 were found on her
person.
American girls chewed up seventy
tons of gum last year. One-half of it
can be found to-day sticking under
mantle shelves. The other half was
carried away by the young men who 60
courting, and lost.-Thraer'S Fails Re
porter.
"A very old lady, on her death-bed
in penitential mood said: " / have been
a great sinner more than eighty years,
and didn't know it." An old darkey
woman who had lived with her long
time exclaimed: "Lors! knowed it
all the time"
An Irish Wicklow Quaker was re-
| Gently roPlied to by a lady listener.
The Quaker was exclaiming against ag-
! itation. The lady responded: "What
good in the world was ever done with
out agitation? We cannot even make
butter without it."
-Disappointments come to us early
in life. One of the first we experience
is when, in school days, the teachers
rod comes down upon the palm of the
hand which we hold out unhinchingly,
because we have generously rosined it.
Ouch.-P'tcb.
"A minister who was speaking quite
loud saw woman leaving the church
with a CRYING babe, and thereupon ex-
claimed: Your baby don't disturb
me, madam" THAT isn't it, SIR
she replied, "you disturb the baby"
OF course every effect must have a
cause.
Zulu men are not permitted to
marry until they are forty years of age.
The result is that the wives find them
terribly set in their ways. They smoke
in bed, refuse to light the fire, and
have no more perception of the require
ments of full-grown baby than mule
has of the shorter catechism. l..
Commercial Advertiser,
In view of the facts that we are
nearing the close of long, cold,
stormy winter, and that there is a
probability that the joyous season of
birds and flowers and hand-organs and
barefooted small boys and tansy bitters
will soon spring into the lap of winter
we gather courage to ask, Who ever
saw a hood winkp-Rome Sentinel,
Science says now that kissing on
the Up must De aDollSheu III the lhtel
ests of health. Most potent, grave,
and reverend segniors, scholars and
philosophers, there are moments you
| knew nothing of, when man don
care two cents for science, and when
| he is going to plant kisses where they
, belong, if the laws of health are ripped
: from Alpha to Bersheba.-Stil
( Lambermdn.
, Reading flashy dime novels in,
duced New York boy to steal $7t
, from his father and run away from
! home to exterminate the Indians. Sucf
books should be suppressed. Reading
a religious book induced Philadelphia
= boy to 90 into the cellar and hang him
. self Such hooks shOuld-that is, sucl