The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1879-05-31
FEVsS AND TalAT,


Upon garden wall.
And if "A cat do h greet a cat,
o, need they both tn 'quall7
Every Tommy las his Tabby
Waiting on the wall,
And yet he welcomes her approach
With many "A peircirg yowl.
And ii a kitten wish to court
Upon garden wali,
Why don't he sit and sweetly smile
And not sit up and bawl,
And show his teeth and moan,
AS il',were collie more than love
That mate the fellow groan.
The early passenger catches the train.
The dentists occupation is anesthetc
one.
-Russia's choice-Aut Cesar aut Mill.
TO make fine eye water-stck an on.
ion on it.
An auctioneer is a man of more-bid
tastes.
Miss Construction W Whalebone, paint,
powder, and SO forth.
When does a man smoke a cigar too
long? When he smokes it too short.
The English begin to think that Pa
roles name should be spelled Payroll
Dead men tell no tales, but dead walls
are well posted.
"A bang,up ahair-A powder mill ex-
plosiou.
Paragraphs worth copying are credit
able affairs.
The shop lifer's motto-"H Heaven helps
those who help themselves" ...-
The weather has been rather tough on
spring chickens, and they show it.
1t is very dangerous to make up your
judgment concerning young ladys weight
by measuring her sghs.
"A little Philadelphia boy startled a
friend of the family the other day by re-
marking that he "was four years old with
his clothes ou!"
--Womcn are extreme in all points. They
are better or worse than men. That's why
men take them for better or worse.
"A Texas chap shot five men and no at
tention was paid to il, but one day he stole
a mule, and in less than an hour the in
hriaIed citizens hanged him.
A man in Michigan swapped his hose
for wife. An old bachelor acquaintance
said he'd bet there was something wrung
with the horse, or its owner would never
have fooled it away in that reckless manner.
He was harl-loo,ing ol customer;
he was blear-eyed; his hair was long and
Struggling; his clothes were in rags, and he
was eariully dirty. You never would have
supposed that he was worth $4,000 ,OOO-and
| he wasn't.
Chill, in South America, has declared
war against Bolivia and Peru. A war cor
respondent on the spot describes the first
battle as simply terrific. The greatest hav-
oe was in the artillery, where mule lost
shoe.
Professor Felix Adler says there are oc-
casons when II Is absolutely wrong 10 tell
the truth. The professor may be right, but
he can't swerye us from habit we formed
years before we embarked ip the newspaper
| business.
Practical surveying. Professor-Now,
| gentlemen, let us take up the Slope. (Sub-
dued APPLAUSE You win fnd that the
Grade depends largely on the Slope (seusa-
ton, and, more than all, upon the IDeli-
nation. (UWoar)
The following testimonial Of a certain
patent medicine speaks for itself "Dear Sir,
1 Two months ago my wife coula hardly
speak. She has laken two bottle5of your
"Liie Remover" aud now she can9 speak at
all. Please send me two more bottles.
/ wouldn't be without it,"
"A gentleman was disturbed IN his rost
in the middle of the night BY some ono
knocking on the street door "whos there7"
h. asked. A friend" was the answer.
What do you- wantg2 FL want 10 stay here
all night" "Queer tastei stay there by all
ineans," was lie benevolent reply.