Litchfield enquirer., 1879-12-11
CLIPPINGS.

A dentists sign-Drawing, music and danc- ing.
 Cspsar's motto was to always be first, but when it comes to fighting duel we prefer to be second.
 There's one thing certain. If the Advent ists stick to it they'll succeed at last in correct ly predicting the day on which the world is to end.
 He told me that he was now regularly en- gagged as a writer for one of the leading dai- lies. His honest old mother said 'writing wrappers at $3 week."
 Medical man: "And then, with regard to the swelling at the back of your head, 1 don't apprehend anything serious; but you must keep your eye on it"
 A ton of gold makes fraction over half a million dollars, and when man says his wife is worth her weight in gold, and she weighs 120 pounds, she is worth $30,OC0.
 When man in Connecticut is killed by buzz saw they arrest his family and hold them until the state chemist has examined the mans stomach in search of arsenic.
 The Boston Courier discovers that when two young men meet they address each other as ''old man," and that when two old fellows meet they say ''my boy"
 A little girl of four years was recently cal led as witness in police court, and, in an- swer to the question what became of little girls who told lies innocently replied that they were sent to bed.
 Be patient. Wait Don't fret over last summers ice bill. Scientists tell us that in 17,000, 900 years ice sixteen feet thick will en- r1o md mans extortions will end.
 A Yankee woman recently married Chi nese laundryman and in three days thereaf- ter the unhappy Celestial appeared at bar ber's shop and ordered his pigtail to be cut off, saying, in explanation: ''Too muchee yank."
 An old bachelor was courting widow, and both had sought the aid of art to give to their faded hair a darker shade. "That's going to be an affectionate couple, "sad a wag. "How SOP" asked friend "Why, don't you see they are dyeing for each other already"
 Did you ever notice that there is something really musical in the pitiful weeping of your own baby, God bless it, and something-some- thing, everything fendishly discordant in the squaiing of your neighbours bowling young one? How is that, anyhow, that it always is that way?
 A three-year old little girl was taught to close her evening prayer, during the tempora- ry absence of her father, with, And please watch over papa" It sounded very sweet, but the mothers amazement may be imagined when the child added. "And you'd better keep an eye on mamma, too."
 "Well, Johnny" said the. fond mother, "hurry up and say your prayers, and get into bed" ''Oh, I've fixed that all right I've hired sis to say lem for me this week :" but his mar row bones hugged the cold ol-cloth that night just as usual. By the sad sea waves Rather (thrusting his head despairingly out of his box )-Hi, boy, bo.oy! Boy-Sir Bather-Where are my | pants? left them here when 1 went in, and | now 1 can't find any trace of them. Boy (having sought vainly for them on every side) | Quite sure you had 'em on when you came | here, sir An English undergraduate at examination, | on being told to repeat the parable of the | Good Samaritan, thus did it: IA certain man tourneyed from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves" Then he stopped. "Go on, sr," said the examiner. And" And what? Go on, sir" ':And the thieves sprang
 
 youth. The story is told of clergyman-that, aft CT preaching an interesting sermon on the Recognition of friends in heaven," he was accosted by nearer, who said: 'I liked that sermon and wish you would preach another on the recognizing of people in thls world. I have been attending your church three years, and not five persons in the congregation have so much as bowed to me in all that time" Waggs went to the station of one of our rail- roads the other evening, and finding the seats ali occupied, said, in loud tone, "Why this car isn't going!' Of course these words caus- ed general stampede, and Waggs took the best seat The train soon moved off In the midst of the indignation the wag was question ed. "You said this car wasn't going" "Well it wasn't then," replied Waggs, "but it is now