West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1879-01-04
WAIFS AND WHIMS.

AcCoRpNG TO DR. Tarnicr milk diet
will cure obesity.
THERE is more lying about Edison
than over stewards body.
Born Presidential conventions of 1850
will be held ia Chicago.
TuE time for turning over II new leaf
is at hand
TRAIN predicts grand financial and
monarchical crash IN Europe.
MEN who can't afford ul,tcr must re.
tail their coats and pull down their
vests.
Bfsr thing to do when you 20 shop
ping with ladies nOw-a-days is to take
notes.
THE first shad of the season, from
Jacksonville, Fla, fetch fifty cents in
Savannah.
THERE is no truth in the report that
the Afgahn war will increase the price
of carriage robes
To produce II telling effect, communi-
cate a secret TO n woman Utica 90.
scrUcr.
TwENTY-THREE dead bodies have been
cremated at Milan during the last two
years
Tar indians never kiss each other
and, having seen u few Indians, we
can't blame them.
DANBURY has man who can write
the Declaration OF independence on n
wart.
II is Il curious and noteworthy pheno
menon that the candidate is never
tickled when voters scratch him.
WHEN Edison has invented cheap
electricity the charge of the light bri.
gade il over. .-Nc,o York Graphic.
The Hindoos have no name for
friend,-Er. What do they call the
man who borrows 81 from you to go to
the circus2
lT is estimated that every American
boy would consume three hundred and
fifty pounds of candy per week if he had
the chance.
AN English publican died recently
from acute inflammation caused by in.
dulging in IL fit of laughter while telling
a funny story to one of his Customers.
Snow me the man who would 20 To
heaven alone if he could, and / will show
you one who will never be admitted
there.
THAT family is the best who obtain
not unjustly, keep not unfaithfully and
"iN'N ~ ~ Nhg Niiht IllbiiliAfH llO Itptut-
ance.
THE disease of men is neglectng to
weed their own fields and busying them
selves with wedding the fields of other
people.
EVERY person has two educations-
one which he receives from others, and
one more important, which he gives
himself
WILL you not bear with your brother,
who has God for his Father who is his
sou, ~ thou art, Of the same high de-
scent2
A PORTLAND deputy sher if was ex.
amining a barrel of liquor intending 10
make Il seizure, when the bung flew out.
hit him in the eye, and put his eye out
PRINCESS LOUISE gays that If there
il one tune that is really more sickoning
than Grandfather Clock" il is Men.
tune.
HE was sterling business man"
the writer Of the obituary had IT, but
the compOsitor sought 10 improve mat
ters, and got it, He was stealing
business man"
The Detroit Free Press wisely remarks
that the easiest way 10 convince an In
dian that whiskyis injurious is to let
OiB dDmiJ0nn tall on his toes You can't
convince him by argument.
THE woman Of the period don't care
a stale cookie about the election: but
what posters her soul il % know If any
body will come 10 church next Sunday
with q winter bonnet handsOmer than
hers.
Ir looks kind Of curious to have the
first case Of freezing TO death this season
come from the southern portion Of " est
Virginia Mr. Baker was on bear
hunt when the frigid death overlook him.
A FARMER in Staunton, Va, possesse-
p valuable breed Of ducks which can be-
taken n a distance Of forty miles and
sold and will next morning be found at
home.
a RACE horse was injured while be.
/ ing transported over the Baltimore and
I Ohio Railroad, and 10 cost the Company
$i3j5j To settle It,. lf they had only
killed man 5000 would have been
7 the extreme measure pf the daroo0o