River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-07-31
How the Girls Father Saved $1,000


A young man who had long and dear
ly loved beautiful girl on Warren
avenue, besought of her recently to name
the happy day, which she did with such
fond, reluctant delay that lt,would hard
~ have been thought that she had made
up her mind what the date was TO be
more than two months before, so soon rs
she saw that he really meant biz. They
accordingly aited upon the author of
her being, and, going down on their
kne 8, acquainted him with the lay of
the land, and besought of him his bless
ing. He was practical and economical
old man, with mind fertile IF resource,
and when the young man had stalu-
mered that he loved her dearer than his
life, and had salary of $1,000, and that
he hoped-the old man caught up his
trusty Toledo co. walking stick, aud,
calling his prospective son-ln-l law many
hard names. drove HIM out of the house
then seIzlng his daughter by her tiny
el-lac ear he awayed with her to the
deepest bedroom beneath the attic
root, and locked her in there. What
was the consequence That very night
a young man came with rope
ladder, an ample cloak, and ? marriage
Ii ems and stole his bnde away, and
they were made one at West Side
church. The young wife hen said TO
her husband, "Algernon, my father be-
haved toward you as mean as all get-out;
still he was my mothers hush nd, and
we ought to have some Difference for him.
so let us go to HIM nd tell him that we
are wedled, and ask his blessing. Beside,
| ant to get my brush and comb bag
that left on the bureau" "Well, Ill
go, said the young husband; "but, mind
you Matilda, if he lays hand ON me
save in kindness, I'll knock his tw eyes
into one. suffered his previous indig-
mites because he was the hoary headed
author of youl being, but he is only my
bald-headed old father-in-law, and /
won't stand it, if he is three times as old
as | am" Accordingly they went home,
and when they got there, and were ex-
citedly feeling for the bell-pull, the old
man opened the door and said, "Come
in, come in. How's the blushing bride,
eh2 Bless you my children. Now, by
the time we have partaken of bottle OF
champagne which Is in the ice-box the
hack will be here to convey you down
town, or to any railroad depot you may
be pleased to Indicate" They followed the
old man into the parlor, like people in a
dream IL was afraid once, he said cheer
fully, I" hen | saw Matilda coming down
that ladder that the durn thing would
break-f she's full sixteen ounces to thu
pound, Matilda is-and drive all my new
rosebushes and tulips into the ground.
Why on earth didn't you, when you were
compelled to flee from my wrath, elope
sui of the Fl ont door, like Cnris.iai.s9 |
left Mat lda's dungeon unlocked anu
lett the front door alar, | went to the
foot Of the stairs and snored at the top OF
nj voice so as to give you every facility"
"Do ytu mean to say, venerable and re-
spected SIR said his new made son-ln
law, "tha. you have and have had OBJ
jrctions to my paying my addresses to
your daughter2" Never the least in the
world" replied the old man, beamIng
blandlv on Them "you are the son-ln-iaw
should have picked out of millions, il
| ad oeen permitted to choose, and even
had no. been satisfied of your nth
ana sobriety could not have found it IN
my heart to refuse to do what Matilda de-
sired me co do" "Then, sir, exclaimed
the young husband, thinking that perhaps
he had married into family having the
hereditary faint of insanity in the blood:
"then, sir what did you give me the grand
bounce for in such an energetic and in
consistent manner2" 'because my dear
boy" said the good old man II saw that
if did you ould instantaneous AXE
out license and elope 18th the girl, and
get married at an expense OF $3.50, borne
exclusively by you, whereas If the mar
rage took place in the ordinary course
of events | would have been stuck for
rousseau, and dresses, and flowers, and
d, jeuner, and presents, and so on to the
extent of at least $4,000. You will find
$1,000 in this pocketbook tor expenses
during your bridal trip; the remaining
800 am in and they are but the
legitimate reward of my ingenuity. You
will surely not object to paying SUI a
price for four months more of welded
bliss than you would have otherwise en-
loved, and for the chance of beginning
your married life in romantic manner"
They couldn't of course.-Chs cdgo Tri-