Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1879-07-17
Am,uuruns Repartn1ent.
that HIRED GIRL.

down and told her that agents, book-peddlers,
hat-rack men, picture sellers, ash-buyers, rag
men, and all that class of people must be met
at the front door and coldly repulsed. Sarah
said she'd repulse them if she had to break
every broomstick in Detroit.
And she did. She threw the door wide
open, bluffed right up at EN-, and when she
got through talking, the checklist agent was
only too glad to leave. 1t got so after awhile
that the peddlers marked that house, and the
door. bell never rang except for company.
The other day, as the girl Of the house was
wiping off the spoons, the bell rang. She
hastened to the door, expecting to see lady,
but her eyes encountered slim man, dressed
in black, and wearing white necktie. He
was the new minister, and was going around
to get acquainted with the members of his
flock, but Sarah wasn't expected to know
this.
"Ah-um-is-Mrs.-ahw
"Git !' exclaimed Sarah, pointing to the
"Beg pardon, but I would like to see
see"
"Meanderw she shouted, looking around
for weapon, eve don't want any Aour-sifters
herep'
you're mistaken" he replied, smiling
blandly. II called to"
"Don't want anything to keep moths
away-hy!' she exclaimed, getting red in the
face.
els the lady in?" he inquired, trying to
look over Sarah's head.
"Yes, the lady is in, and I'm in, and you
are outp she snapped, "and now don't
want to stand here talking to fy-trap agent
any longer. Come lift your boots!"
"I'm not an agent" he said, trying to
smile. "Tm the new"
eyes, know you-you are the new man
with the patent Aat.iron, but we don't want
any, and you'd better 60 before l 1call the dog !"
"Will you give the lady my card and say
that ealled?"
"No, won't; we are bored to death with
cards and handbills and circulars. Come, I
can't stand here all day" .
didn't you know that I was minister ?.
he asked as he backed off.
"No, nor I don't know it now you look
like the man who sold the woman next door
dollar chrome for eighteen shillings."
"But here is my card"
~ don't care for cards, I tell you" If
you leave that gate open will have to fling
hower-pot at you"
II will call again." he said, as he went
through the gate.
"It won't do any good I" she shouted after
him "we don't want no prepared food for
infants-no piano music-no stuffed birds
/ know the policeman on this beat, and if
you come around here again, he'll soon find
out whether you are confidence man or a
vagrant!"
And she took unusual care to lock the
door.-Dstroit Free Press.
A "GRow1NG" MYsrERY-People passing
up High street at noon, might have seen a
very stout citizen bending over q mound of
fresh earth in his yard, hands under his coat
tails and his eyes directed upon small green
sprig which had just pushed its heads above
the earth. The stout man shook his head
and seemed puzzled, and he called across the
street to neighbor who was trimming rose
bush:
''Say Jones, come right over here this min
ute! III be hanged if something hasn't
started to grow in my garden.
Jones crossed over. The two bent over
the sprig with bated breaths surveying it from
all sides, and the owner of the yard whispered
"What if it should turn out to be Trifolium
repens?"
Cant be. Looks to me more like Colium
emulentum," replied the other. cts just
barely possible, however, that it may prove
to be Triticum hibernum. Let me call Mr..
Smith,"
Smith, who was coming from the grocery
with roll of butter, was halted. He survey.
ed the sprig from six different points of the
compass, tasted Of the soil, shook his head,
and finally said: -...
"It's my opinion that it is specimen of the
Celastrous scandens, but may be mistaken.
1t may be nothing but Thymus vulgarus!"
"Oh, it can't be-" replied the owner of the
place: "Im almost sure it is the Hy-
proxys erecta. 1t is pretty hard to fool me
on plants"
The three great men were looking at the
sprig anew, and Brown was about to observe
that it might, after sll, turn out to be Aralia
racemosa, when an old man with spade on
his shoulder leaned over the fence and called
out:
"I'll bring you burdock as big as that for
ten cents, and set it out to bootw
The three men melted away like gum drops
at picnic, and the old man rubbed his spade
against the pickets and growled:
"Ten cents apiece is cheap enough for
healthy burdocks, an if they don't want 'em
they needn't have 'em."
A PRACTICAL JoKE.-Joe Skinner was
once the greatest joker in Oil City, and one
of his tricks came near bringing on riot one
day. Joe was walking along Seneca street,
when he suddenly stopped and began poking
in the mud with his cane, at the same time
allowing his other hand to slide over his shirt
bosom as if in quest of something which was
not there. His movements quickly attracted