The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-08-08
A VERY INNOCENT DECEprION.

Apparatus aud How 1t Works.
n. Y. World.
A respectable-looking man walked rap.
idly yesterday through a strest running
westward from tho City Hall Park, and
pausing for a moment before a marble
building which bore among other signs
that OF the Cosmopolitan Temperance
Association ran lightly up the stairs
without glancing at the warning notice,
"No beggars, pedlars or book agents al.
lowed in this building" and entered the
rooms of the G. T. A. His eyes swept the
apartment with an instinct born OF ex-
perience, and then, approaching a middle.
aged man sitting at a desk in an inner
room, the stranger drew towards the desk
a chair Uttered with pamphlets and news
papers, and taking a seat said in u husky
voice:
General manager, s'pose?"
ayes, sir,n9 said the manager OF the
alleged G. T. A. "What can | do for
your"
Important temperance matters. La.
bored in cause years. Highways and by
ways, rostrum and pulpit Voice failed,
obliged give up lectuEing. Take other
means helping along great cause. Can aid
your association wonderfully ifassured en-
couragement."
"Well, l don't know" said the manager,
doubtIully, I'VE r very we'll organized
Just now. Still, il there isanything speci.
ally worthy about any plan you might
have
worthy. exclaimed the stranger, re-
proachfully, more than worthy. Worth
money, too, as well MS great adjunct to
cause. Simple mechanical device, SIR"
"Oh, said the manager, petulantly tax
ing up his pen, I'VE depend entirely upon
moral suasion."
Nothing immoral bout this, sir" said
the stranger, rising but still persisting.
True, little innocent deception. Look
here. | pick up this paper weight. Hold
it firmly. Lay it down. Very simple.
Look again. l do something 10 some.
thing with left hand inside coat pocket.
Pick up paper weight again but drop it.
Can't raise it MORN inch. See?
The manager minated hat he saw but
did not comprehend.
AVpdl0tup AuE ul6CLldulCAli cure uEuuhs
enneSS. Fine wires. Arrange It in mans
coat. Man goes into liquor store. Orders
cocktail, milk-punch, gin:fzz, whisky-sour,
John Collins masked battery, what not.
Glass breaks, bartenderS shirt.front spoil.
ed, man fired out. Man cries shakes
Goes home. Sick. Reforms. Never
drinks again. Cure costs wife or family
S.. Apparatus manufactured for IS cents.''
"That is something novel and amusing
If nothing more" said the manager.
"MIy own invention" continued there
former. Tried it on hundreds. Never
failed. New crusade organized out West.
Tailors secret members OF organization
Sell them my "Drunkard's Mechanical
Salvation Apparatus' They put it in
coats. Families a tailor extra IS pr.
yateIy. Three gin mills closed in two
days" :,
"Try it YOURSELF said the retormer.
See, no humbug. | wear it for illustra'
ton, one side only-right-so l can work
it with left hand"
AS he said this he produced from one
OF his pockets a small round box, out OIL
which, when he had removed the cover,
sprang a mass Of glittering fine wire.
"Now," said the new apostle OF temper
ance, take off coat please; show you how
it works"
The manager removed his coat and hi
new friend politely otferedto hold 1t fol
him. In q minute or two the apparatus
was arranged and the manager put on his
coat.
Wouldn't know there was anything IN
your coat, would your" asked the man.
mo, really, Iwould not
'HTry to pick up paper weight" said thu
glib-tongued reformer.
The manager tried, first with one hanC
and then with the other, but 1t droppet
each time before he could lit it clear from
the desk
"TEy to put hands in breast pocket o
coat"
The manager couldn't do It.
"Now, see" said the reformer, ''car
order liquor, but can't drinkit or pay torit
II you were a drunkard now, you'd thinl
had shakes, wouldn't your
~ should really think something wa
wrong about EN-. Your apparatus is al
ingenious one and deserves a trial.
"You may keep it," said the roformeI
"Show It to friends. Get. 'em interestGt
in it. Callaronnd in aday OF two and Sc
II we can't do something together. Goo
day"
4 minute later the apostle was speedin
up town on the elevated railroad and eS
aiming the contents Of 2 large pocket
book.
"Not a bad haul" said he, as he rose
get out ut the Blocker street station
"Thirty-fve dollars in greenbacks and
: certified check for hall a,century' more.
! TuE benjamin Franklin Primer Is
pretty good chit OF on some Of Ii
!. present school series. Tie illustration
i are very comical, while the text is in e.
tire keeping with the grotesqueness oftt
cnts. For Instances on page isis an el
craving Of the upper story o. . house; c
the roof two tslines are participating in,
moonlight soiree; q vinegar'faced inc
vidual hears the music andopens the WI
dow to take in more fully tho dule
strains. This issupposed'to be his solil
quy:
sis this q cat and kit?
e oh, yes;itis cat and kit,
Can you hear the cat and the kit.
80 on, yes; ] can hear the cat and the X
N . : - NIN-NLE Az. Liza ~