The Princeton union., 1879-02-12
Miscellaneous Items,

Miscellaneous Items.
Are watered silks dry oods?-Puck.
When is man thinner than a shingle2
When he Is a shaving.
There is more active fun in an ounce
of kitten than in ton of elephant.
In the bright lexicon of the modern
farmer there is no such word as fail. All
the threshing is done by machinery.
"Soon's the ice gifts foot thicker then
I'll have foot less further to fall," he
:nused as he got up from the last one.
The dalry-maid pensively MIXED the goat,
And pouting she paused to mutter;
II wish you brute, you would turn to milk"
And the animal turned to butt her.
A correspondent explains Why he
hadn't written before by saying he could
not ''get money enough together" to buy
postal card.
Charles Lamb. when little boy, walk
ing with his sister in churchyard, and
reading the epitaphs, said to her: MARY
where's all tho naughty people buried2"
A New York dealer announces for the
holidays an interesting musical instru-
ment which will "scare the cats, drive
away the rats and set the old folks fran.
tic.
We know that the brute sees the sun
set; but does it feel its pensivenessf-
Joseph Cook 1t does not, if in tie habit
of having its hay about that time Detroit
Free Press.
Eight young Cinnamon are attending
school in Phillips Academy in Andover,
Mass. In the same school there are
twenty-five sons OF ministers and four sons
of missionaries.
A little 6ve-year old, hearing of the
Acts of the Apostles, sad he thought the
Apostles must have been pretty hard up
20 have hsd only one sx among so many
of 'em.
A Nevada politician was elected on
the merits of single speech. All he
said was, "Follow -countrymen, follow me
to yonder refreshmenr saloon"
The best anti-tat remedy we know of
is trying to carve up q chunk of hard
wood with hatchet that was original
ly cut out for hammer.
There are three lights. First, the sun :;
second, the moon, and third, ourselves; !;
and the greatest of these, in our judg-
ment, is ourselves.
"Lufe God abufe all, and vi nychtbour
as yiself," is the inscription yet to be
seen upon the front of the house in Ed
inburgh in which John Knox lived and
died.
PAPER teeth are a new invention in
Germany, and a number of specimens
were displayed at the late paper exhibi-
ton in Berlin. They are warranted fully
as durable as any other teeth.
The editor of the 6ackensack Repub.
lican went TO call on his girl, he saw on
the front steps sign which said, "Beware
of the paint" He went away sighing, ~
never before knew that she painted.'
A brick fell from scsffold on the
head Of passing negro. "Fling dem ere
peanut shells anoder way up dere, won't
yer9" was the darkey's advice, as he
scratched his wool.
The patient boy. He went to neigh
bor's house for cup of sour milk. 81
haven't anything but sweet milk"
said the woman pettishly. "Ill wait till
it sours," said the obliging youth, sinking
into chair.
A maid-ot-all-work was busily engaged
busting bronze clock. the bronze was
antique green. The maid looked ut it,
and then said: "Oh, madam, what
beautiful clock you havel Amt it a
pity it is covered with verdigris9"
Of truth, nome without girl is
only half blessed: it is an orchard with
out blossoms, and spring without song.
A house full of sons is like Lebanon with
its cedars; but daughters by the tireside
are like roses in Sharon.
Julius, what are you looking at that for?
You can't read" 500 away" cried the
other, Indignantly; "guess I can read; Is
big enough for dat" Big enough !" re.
torted the other scornfully, 'dat amt
muffin A cows big enutf to catch mice,
but she can't.
A little shaver, going on an errand,
met an acquaintance. to whom he pro.
pounded the following conundrum:
"Whv am I like penny9" The other
fellow gave it up. II am like penny"
said the little man, "because I am one
sent" And he went his way.
The little rolks wanted the head of the
family to spena the evening with them.
Father said he thought of attending q
meeting. Various measures we're dis
cussed for keeping father at home, when
Tommy, aged five, addressed his brother,
aged seven, as follows: "Ill tell you what
we'll do. Well put sign on the front
do0r-'No admittance to 20 out of this