Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1879-02-07

That that was rather-cmaiier'
The Chicago Times says the Indians are
being rapidly transferred TO their reserva-
tion, which is several feet under ground.
Young Housewife What miserable little
eggs again You really must tell them,
Jane. to let the hens slt on them a little
longer.
New Haven Register :-"Somehow or other.
| don't seem to enjoy sleiehing.as | used TO, ''
said Mr. Smiley, as lie picked the accumula-
ted ice from his beard. "Nly blood don't
circulate rs it used TO, and my feet nearly
freeze. The inyigornting air does ME a bit
of good, though. But when | appeared in
my first plug hat, and took your mother out
for II sleigh ride, just enjoyed it. We went
spinning along over country road at n fine
rate, for while, but We stopped suddenly go
your mother and /. The horse and sleigh
went right along, though, and when We had
picked ourselves up and walked about two
miles in the snow, we felt SO well acquainted
we concluded to keep right along together,
and We have haven't We And the old gem
tleman chucked his companion under the
chin SO vigorously that her false teeth were
nearly knocked out of her head.
A squatter's shnnty near the Park bears
this sign Fresh eggs for sale, laid every
day by Mrs. Cooley. IN. Y. Herald.
This severely classical romance is given to
the public by the St. Louis Iurts-.jp,unal:
Now Marcus, as in verse We tell
OF a Te.nOrsrless CInna,
Who made attempt to CTsar girl
When else be could no; win er.
"oh, such Brutus Mcnas you
III N.va we'd she cried
Then Strsto way DER hill and dale
lie bore the limiting bride
Agrippa bout her waist he took
As Titus any y.cs.
| Nor'i, at her wild shrek, Casca il
Twas naushiisome or nice.
lie bore her on Milo two,
When suddenly swooped down
A rnilG' Gallus soldier boys
And took 'eIn hack To town.
A new Baptist convert wished very much
| to he baptized by one minister and to Join
the church OF another. She went to the first
and asked him If it could be done "les.
he replied, 81 could do 1T, but | don't take
in washing. - Boston Globe.
young man came into Dlnhury from one
| of tho numerous suburbs to learn cabinet
making The morning after his arrival he
was sent up to the roof OF the building to
shovel oil the snow Fifteen minutes later
| hs came shooting INTO the street from the
roof, carrying the shovel so carelessly ns to
| knock farmer out of sleigh. Long ere
the sun sank in the west he had gone hack
to the old farm. [Danhury News
Ten days or ten dollars SAID the Judge .
and the prisoner. sullen-louking fellow
| chose the latter alternative, paid tue fine
and was discharged lie walked moodIly out
| of the court room, but when he reached the
| door turned and shOwercd IA wholesale TRADE
| OF profane abuse upon the magistrate. Then
| he ran into the corridor, but before he could
| reach the street the officers gave chase, he
| was soon recaptured, and stood again nj the
| bar. "Ten dollars more said the court
The money was paid. ali you had nsed more
chaste and refined language the Judge CON
tinued waving the fellow away, ''you would
not have been chaste and refined" The
prisoner fell down dead Dead my lords
and ladies' ! Dead Right Reverends and
Wrong Reverends of every order! Dead
Men and women born with heavenly compass
sion in your breast and hundreds are dl ing
thus around us every day from the elects of
similar atroeious pnns Puck.
A junior walked into the express office yes
| terday with package of letters, which he
desired to send to young lady. "What do
you value them at2' asked the clerk The
| young man started, hestuted II moment,
then clearing his voice of certain husk
mess, answered sadly "W'll, You may put
them down at four bits. but II week ngu |
would not have sold them for the whole
Sierra Nevada mine. Hang that freshman
| bust . | don't see how she found out about
it, and sorrowfully left tho room. [Berke-
leyan.
| When young tobacco chewer who boast