Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1879-08-21
FACTS AND FANCIES.

8 A wrecked bark-A dead dog.
Small for its eyes-A young owl.
Frailty, thy name is savings bank.
Z Does standing joke ever require
set?
2 Yellow Jack is the Southern knave
of spades.
A duck of lover makes a goose
of husband.
"Come tc the Scratch" as the cat
said to the lap dog. -
How to provide for rainy day
Borrow an umbrella.
The sickle that cuts down the
green things-Icicle.
You can tell a young man raising
a moustache as fuzz you can see.
a Jersey woman calls her husband
Mucilage, because he's such a stick.
''Hive something sweet to tell thee,
love" said the hcney-bee to his mate.
The fellow made bad pull when
he Went to steal squash and got
gOurd.
We never heard of man so mean
that fly wouldn't become attached
to him.
The divorced wife of a Danbury
man is the hired nurse of his second
wifc's baby.
An Erie girl calls her fellow, who
is member of the Michigan crew,
her evenings tar.
The man who finds a pocket-book
with cash in it doesn't look at a paper
for three weeks.
One OF the best-known girls in
Pittsburg is Allie Ghany, but water
mouth she has!
Dickie Lingard's husband, Mr..
Dalzcll, has run away from her. He
Lingard too long as it was.
If a man really wants to know of
how little Importance he is, let him
90 with his wife to the dressmaker's.
Now IS the time to lay in your
winter fuel" as the tramp said when
he crept into the repIenishcd wood
shed.
1t is a noted fact that the fish you
pull Just to the top of the water, and
then lose, always weighs just seven
pounds. ."
A Maine lady has a babe thirteen
months old that weighs seventy-tive
pounds. This is my boom," she
says proudly.
''What will the harvest be-" asks
an exchange. Well, just wait till
the harvest bee crawls up your trous-
ers legs, and you'll find out.
A Chicago mans nightmare turned
ont to he the shadow Of his wife 5
foot on the bedroom wall, instead Of
all unearthIy monster with iivo homo.
"Bcauty and booty" says young
Whitehall man, sis all right, eX-
cept when the daughters beauty is
accompanied by the old gcntleman's >
bOOlce.'
he maddest man in seven coun-
ties is the farmer who worked like j
hero to save ii drowning man, only to
find that he had rescued lightning
rod agent.
A young man never feels so much
at Il loss what to do, rs when he takes
his girl to a picnic, big ant crawls
down her back and begins to bite her
just above the belt and she begins to
scream tor help.
Popc's new opera house, st. Louis,
to occupy the old building of the
church OF the Messiah, corner ninth
and Olive streets, is to be opened
September p. 1t will be the best
theater building in the city.
An unsuccessful vocalist went to
the pooI-house and delighted the in
mates with his singing. He said it
was natural thing for him to 10. rs
he'd been singing to poor houses
ever since he began his career.
Singular, isn't it, that when man
gives his wife dime to buy box of
hairpins or gum ring for the baby,
it looks about seven times as big as
when he planks it down on the bar
for little gin and hitters for the
stomach s sake.
A certain young lady who was q
little bchndhand in her summer outfit
surprised her parents the other day
by asking why she was unlike George
Washington. When they gave it up,
she told them, because she had no
little hat yet.
They have had very sad affair at
West Point A lady at Cozzens' told
her mamma that all the cadets wear
white pants; whereupon a man said,
80 do their sisters, cousins and
aunts," and had to be shot through
the heart.
Johnny" said fond mother to
her boy, (which would you rather
do, speak English or French:" II
would rather - said Johnny rubbinU