Smyrna times., 1879-04-23
Debating an Item.

he lOllOWlnR lltIle STORY teaches caution
in the use of prOnouns:
Mr.. Tucker came into the editorial room
of local paper, and, sliding up to the
reporters table, he took a seat nudged up
close and said:
"Just take it down now, and I'll give you
Il good item. Ready?"
Yes. Go aheadv'
Well, this morning, Mrs. Tucker--my
wife you know-and her daughter Bessie
were driving out with the bay mare, named
Kitty. along the river road, to see her
aunt"
Whose aunt?"
" Mrs. fuckers aunt. Too see her aunt
Bessie was driving the mare, and little
after they had passed Stapletown Place she
threw one Of her shoes
. Bessie did?"
"No, Kitty the mare. And Bessie said
to her mother that she thought she was
behaving queerly."
Mrs Tucker WASP"
"Thc mare; and she felt SO worried that
She had half notion to turn back"
Are you speaking OF the mare or Of
| Bessie?"
~ mean Bessie of course. But she kept
on limping and going kinder uneven until
they were down by the gas works, when
! SNe lalu DacR ner ears ana -
You don't mean Bessie'S ears?'
"Certanly not"
$50 on, then. Mrs. Tucker laid back her
ears"
1.-The mares ears And lust as they got
on the bridge over the creek the mare gave
tilt to one side, and, as Mrs. Tucker
screamed, she let drive with both of her
! hind legs against the carriage"
vOt1 rafarpipT In Mr. HucL, or To
! the
kitty, the mare-and snapped both
! shafts OFT short The next moment, before
! Mrs. Tucker or Bessie could save them
selves, she went over the side, turning a
complete somersaut."
GOu are now speaking of the mare?'
Yes, the marc turned Il complete somer-
sault into the water. One of the traces re-
manned unbroken, and of course as Kitty
went over, she dragged the carriage after
! her, and Mrs. Tucker and Bessie went
! houndering INTO the creek. The mare at
once struck out for the shore, and Bessie
! fortunately had presence of mind enough
to grasp her 10y the tail. She had the
blind staggers, but it had passed Off
Not Bessie ?"
"NO-the mare; and as soon as She was
being towed pass Mrs. Tucker, she caught
hold Of her dress"
"The mares dress"
=" Bessie's dress; and it seemed for a
minute the mare would bring them safely
to land. But Mrs. fuckers hold on the
mares tail loosened somehow, and
" You said Bessie had hold Of the mares
tail"
Did /? Well, so it was; and Mrs
Tucker hold Of her dress"
Whose dress p
" Didn't say Bessies dress? Well, then
somehow, Mrs. fuckers hold loosencd
and"
" Ter hold of what?'
Her hold of the mare-no, must be
mistaken; Bessie had hold of the mare.
tail, while the mare was swimming, and the
mare had hold of Mrs. fuckers dr-that is
Mrs. Tucker had hold Of Well, anyhow
she let GO"
MIS- Tucker let go?'
ooh, dunno; whoever had hold Of tn,
mare lei 90 and she went to the bottom
like a stone"
"lf | follow your meaning it was th,
mare that went to the bottom?''
My goodness, man! Can't you under
: stand 1t wasn't the mare. The mare
; swan ashore"
: "What did you say she went TO the bot
tom for, then?'
. didn't; it was Bessie"
: Bessie never said a word about it,"
You know what | meant. Bessie wen
to the bottom"
! And Mrs. Tucker swan ashore? ?"
| mo, she didn't"
, "Very well, then. Mrs. Tucker went t
the bottom, too?"
} "No, she didn't either"
! Mrs. Tucker few up in the air, then /?
2 You think you re smart, don't your"
+ "Well, 20 on and tell your story wei
D discuss that afterward. What did Bessi
D say when she got to the bottom
: I've good mind to wollup you"
I "What did she say that for?'
< "You mud-headed IDIOT" said Mr.. 7
y 'give me any more of your insolence, an
; I'll hay you alive. was going to give yo
, good item about that mare, and wha
g Mrs. Tucker said about hcr turning somel
y saults all the way home, but now I'll Sc
e you hanged first"
e The reporter got behind the desk, lifte
u up chair to ward off a missile, and the
t he said calmly:
n "What was Mrs. fuckers object in turr
e ing somersaults all the way home"
q -~-Sos-s