Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-12-13

| my son, wear your old clothes You win not
attract so much attention. but then the wise
| man never goes to the festival to be seen of
| men; or, that Is to say, to be sought OF women
Be pleasant and smiling and cheerful When
| they offer you the seductive bowl OF oyster
soup bend overt, affect to examine it critically
| smell it. then rise up shake your head SADLY
and with sweet, suggestive smile. say, mo,
thank you, guess not" This adds greatly 10
| lady who made the soup.
| Lie boldly to the first girl who wants you TO
take chance in the parsonage cake. Tell her
You have already taken two chances This will
make it easier for the next lie. Then when She
| looks over her list and say she can't find your
name. tell her you bought our chances OF the
other young lady. Then when she says she is
the only person selling chances in this cake, tell
| her then il must have been In the other cake.
! Then when she says this is the only cake they
are railing on. brace up look her right in the
eye. and tell her, .Oh yes, you remember now.
| it must have seen in the cake last year" She
can't deny this, and you can look triumphant.
| But remember my SON IL YOU start a thing OF
this kind you will have to keep 1t up.
| If you pick up any pretty little article on the
| fancy tables, ask the price of the same, and
when you are told, drop it from your neryeleas
fingers and as 1t falls upon the floor, eXclain IN
tones OF amaZement, We'll, | am =" and
| This never fails to please the young lady who
has charge OF that table. She will mention you
| to her friends.
ing, say to him, if he asks whether you are hay-
| ing good time. "oh yes, feel Ike the man
| Wlo went down TO Jericho and. fefef5SS-cery
archly at the young ladies behind the en-
Droiderv table, ana proceed" fell among
| thieves"
Affect pleasant but natural and undisgulSed
| horror OF the tides, and designate the woTSted
| work as 'StuH." Wonder what the lambre-
QuinS are for. and laugh a short, explosive Sar-
| Gonc laugh, when the ladies tell you. II some
girl has sent a water color or Oil painting OF her
| own to the fair, affect to mistake the road for a
river, and wonder why people are driving along
| the top OF the water in wagon. Also try 10
| spell out the name of a hotel on the elm tree in
the foregrouns. affecting to mistake 1t for an
old-fashioned swinging country inn sign.
| Ii possible, coax the prettieSt girl away from
| the refreshment table and keep her promenad-
ing the room all evening with you, While a tired
old woman does her work. Talk great deal TO
all the girls at all the tables. and spend just as
little as you talk much. Your conversation is
| considered vastly more valuable at a church
| fair, than your money.
| By closely observing these rules my son. and
| carrying out the line of conduct they vaguely
suggest, you will not be much annoyed By the
| begging committees, for they will soon learn to
| know you, and you will be set down as man
about town, and young man who knows
| what's what.
| You will also be set down as an ass; an empty
headed, conceited, stingy, shallow Drained ass.
| fyou want to pay the price, my son, sail in;
| the article is yours B1ftHgfGn Hatcheye.