The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-11-12
WAIFS AND WHIMS.
Eaas come in layers.

A PAIR of-an eloping couple.
1T is spring that brings re-leaf to the
WHICH is the most ancient of treesf
! The elder.
THE Board of EduCation-a school
masters shingle.
THE flower of the family is generally
found in sacque.
THE man with no teeth is always
looking for soft thing.
THE new broom. sweeps clean when 1t
is properly handled.
The trapezs performer is sometimes
heels over head in business.
A COLUMBUS (Ohio) young lady wants
to kiss Joe Jefferson. Let her, Rip.
AN undertaken at wedding is the
rite man in the wrong place.
Why is a ship the politest thing in
the world? Because she always advances
with a bow.
THE time is coming when a buffalo
robe will cover two hearts that beat as
one
NERO, Pompey and Caesar are common
names for dogs, but wouldn't AgriPps
be more appropriate.
THERE are a great many people whs
will never go to heaven unless they can
go at excursion rates.
4 MANS faith is often shown by tho
length of time for which he subscribes
fer his paper and pays for it in advance.
FAILING down stairs gives fellow a
wonderful insight into the starry king
dom.
4 WICKED Philadelphian wants to
know if there are any fre-escapes in the
next world.
"'YOU don t seem to like me when l
mould" the ink replied to the angry
scribe.
LOVE may be blind before marriage,
but-ah, yes, we forgot-there is no love
after marriage.
"A FRAUD in silks" is the startling
headline in an exchange. All! Went |
back on you, did she2
A YOUNG man is apt to think the
tines are hard when he cannot gel. soft |
place.
SINCE the decline in cotton one meets |
& great many well-deFelOped girls on the |
street.
"WHAT's more sacred than matri-
mOnyw asks an exchange. Divorces
Ask us one with Gordian knot.
THE Whitehall Times has learned why |
Samson was so strong. He never took |
the trouble 20 bathe in the Jordan.
A BRIDGEPoRT graveyard is used for
the pasturing of goats. Goats are very
partial to mans resting place.-DanbWg
Ne10s.
GENERAL SCHENCK can brag of his
skill at poker, but we know a man who
has never been beaten a game. He never
played.
A BOOK entitled Letters from Cat'
is announced. 1t will probably give US
the other side of the boot-jack and back
yard question.
IT is stated that Robert Bonner is the
happy pOssessor of over eighty horses, all
Of which have records. Who can boast
Of as many fast friends? l.
THE Hackensack Republican speaks Of
"a smile as long as a summer day"
That's very delicate way to refer to q
sask of Jersey lightning. |
MAN wants but little here below.
True, and saleratus in the breakfast
biscuit is no exception to the general
rule.
4 WAC who had lent a minister a
horse that had run away ard thrown the
clergyman, claimed credit FOR spreading
.he gospel.
The supreme moment of a lOafeTs
life is when candidate asks for the use
If his influence with the workingmen of
lis ward.
A WISCONSIN city, in order to avoid
scandals in the girls schools has decided
hat the leading teachers shall be :
women. They want principals, not men.
"CAN there be happiness where there
) no loveT solemnly queries an author
q book on marriage. Not much hap
iness, perhaps, but if the girl is awfully
ich, there ran be lots of fun.
THE Buffalo Express is doing its best
0 organize an expedition to go in search
f Mr.. Dana. The editor of the EGpress
ppears to be man who doesn't know a
ood thing when he sees it. Why can't
e let well enough alOne.-AtlGnta Con-
titliti0n. 4
NOWADAYS a man strolls down to the
orner grocery in the evening, gets
rusted for an yeast cake and samples
very basket of peaches or pears in the
tore. Value of the yeast cake two
ents; samples, fifteen cents. And yet
ROGERS accumulate fortunes,
IT is etiquette that makes a woman
ay, when at an evening review her pet
orn is crushed by young LothariO, and
eadly pangs gallOp all through her,
Oh, there no harm done 1 assure you; I
shouldn't have noticed it but for your 5
pology." But frankness generally gets c,
he better Of etiquette when she reaches d
he sacred precincts of home and her =
usband joggles the same foot and she e
Ouch you horrid brutel u
QUILL be the death of me yet; wh5 =
ONT unn1 look rrhara Won ore crninc. y Z Y