The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1879-09-20
WHIPS: WISE HND WITTY.

"A profanc urStart-Ihe man who sits
down OH Il bent pin.
If an Old sheep can only jump fence
they call it & Spring lamb.
No boy is afraid of yellow Jacket when
there is 4 pretty girl inside Of it.
Some wives don't need to bang their
hair. Their husbands do it for them.
A handkerchief pulled from 4 mans
pocket now is :: sign of the wcathcr-it IS
usually followed by blow.
An Intelligent compassion out West
made the queen of the bail wear pair Of
delicately tinted satan scandals.
"A merchant can get along without adj
vertiSing. So can a wagon without grease;
but it goes hard and soon wears out.
The proprietor of bone factory an
nounces that persons leaving their bones
with him can have them ground at short
notice.
No Hottentot is permitted to marry
more than eight sisters ont Of one family.
This is right. Somebody else might want Il
chance.
A woman in Hartford has such lazy
husband that she has to try her finger nails
on him. She resembles prudent hcn-she
scratches for Il living.
a Boston child remarked, after gazing
earnestly mt a man who was bald, but had
heavy whiskery: Ills head WAS put on
upside down, wasn't it >"
First swell-"Look Lerc, Fred, you
| shouldn't wear sonamy big diamonds. It's
awfully bad taste" Second swell" Bless
your soul, dear boy, they amt real
A gushing poet asks in the first l;ue of Il
| ,,yl, gfr
weary pilgrims lie ~ We give it up, hut
experience has told rs there Il great many.
The most pctulant and noisy girl in
| Oswego is named Gates. Every time she
| gets in a genuine tantrum The nriGhbors
refer 10 her ~ - beautiful Gates, a i2wer."
The landlord V ho posted up u notice
stating that InemlcrS "t the Legislature
| should be seated al tie table first and then
| the gentlemen, must have hccn around
| some.
We heard drunken man singing. the
other night: I'm little Butter Cup-daar
| little Gutter Pup" and then gave an illus
tration Of his words by sitting himself into
a gutter
That was neat hull one OF our clergy
men rerprtratcl i'll his sermon the other
day. Speaking OF Buuyan in prison, he
said: "No on. but lis blind tighter Cir
see him
An honest iiibcrnian, in recommending
a COW, said that she would give milk year
after year without having caiyes; she
cause" said he. " il runs in the Grpdc; toT
she came Of Il COW that never had a calf
In Africa native adhcrcntS Of the differ
| cnt Protestant communities already num-
Der 49,, 900 OF thasr, 5000 were repre-
seuted at the Presbyterian Council; s2,o1n
belong To other evangelical, societies; while
~, 003 adhere to the Anglican South African
Church.
-nicv"ung is said 70 he f;iyorite amu:c-
meat with certain young ladies Of Detroit.
The fashion was set by IA wealthy and fash
ionahlc lady, and her friends were not long
in following suit. She and her companions
ride on the country roads near the city.
They wear loose trousers.
The New York ObSolrer says: "-N
Methodist minister in this city was adver-
tised to preach, last Sabbath, on "Scvcu
Dips in Jordan When we read such ad
vertisementS we wonder what idea of rei-
gion man has who seeks to gain attention
by such announcements.
=" Swect youth, if YOU knew how even
a slight knowledge of English grammar
would set OFF your native picty, Won would
try a half term or mt IA district school.
.ESthetic culture j. very charming thing
when it has n solid basis of Lindley Murray.
But man who weds n singular verb to a
plural nominative would do well to KEEP
his epistolary literature out of newspaper
office"