The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-03-25
Miscellaneous Items.

The Detroit Free Press devotes
columns to Bob 1ngersolfs wickednessS
Its readers look upon the matter as an old
Democratic platform with new Dress
Buffalo Express.
The Detroit Free Press notes that
since the LIST of March eleven Southern
mules have been struck by lightning, and
begins to be considerable alarmed ITSELF
Buffalo Express.
During the coming housekeeping
season the ladies will have all the paint
washed except that portion which rubs OF
on fellows shoulder on Sunday even
ing.-Neao Haven Register.
The mule lives to a great age. We
saw one this morning whose locks vera
as gray as the foamy sea-" not his fet'
locks. by long shot-we did. not stop to
examine them.-Neao Have,s Register.
The man who walks for twenty-four
hours on a stretch is considered a hero, but
no one seems to have kind word for the
baby that yells straight ahead for seven
teen hours.-PRilddelphio Caronicle-H Her
0ld
Agricultural Hint to ladies-Now is
| the time to do your spring sewing but FIRST
4
and feathers, in which it is not too early
to set out flowers and vines. This dress
| ing is imperative, as it will make even the
cabbage heads look well.
The young Chicago man always in-
cludes in his wedding expenses the cost
of a divorce; hence the raptures with
which young Chicago man embraced his
| bosom friend when the latter presented
him, among the numerous wedding pres.
ents, the divorce papers already to be fill.
ed out, and for use any moment Oh
City Derrick.
"A lady with more money than erudi-
ton called at Tiffany recently and asked
to see their SOLITAIRE diamond rings A tray
of single-stone rings was shown her. She
looked them over carefully, aud at last
selected one worth about $500. THAT is
a very pretty stone, she said, "and, if you
will assure me that it is a solitaire, | vii
take it.
"A lawyer got mad at an Oil City ellen
the other day, and in the heat of passion
called him liar. What's that2" yelled
the client. You're a liar," vehemently
shouted the lawyer. "A liar? How is i
Ispelled?" why you double back actor
lgnoramus. yelled the lawyer in rage, u
spell it Jar liar" and he put about ter
pounds of emphasis on every letter. "Oh
That's the way you spell it. | didn't know
but twas lawyer liar, and if it hac
been I'd knocked you into the secont
week of April and sot down on you. -
| OIL City Derrick.
i He was a saving man, with an eye OF
the main chance. and the sidewalk. HI
Twas walking down the street with severa
friends. He saw bit Of green paper il
} the slush. None of his companions noticed
it. He excused himself,aDd stepped aside
The walk was crowded with pedestrians
He kept his eye on the bit of green paper
which ever and anon was stepped upon
) and ground still further into the snow b.
the feet of the careless crowd. 3 Visions o
ten-dollar greenbacks foated before him
1t might be ten, 1t might be fifty, i
: might be hundred-d0llar bill. A mo
J mentary opening in the crowd enabled hin
20 sWoop down upon the treasure that wa
his by right Of discovery. He gobbled it VI
If Ii proved to be & suai! BIZ. he wouI,
keep it; if large one, he would advertis
I it in the papers and get a reward. Wit
J hands tightly elapsed he hurried TO al
adjacent stairway to seize his pile. AS b
unfoded his prize, with tremblIDg fingers
] he found it to be Cancelled revenue STAN
from a tobacco package With unstead
steps and haggard face he stumbled into
r convenient drug store, and, with one han
= firmly elapsed upon his equator, gaspe
family for glass of water in which {
drown his feelings. Rome Sentinel