The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1879-07-31
Metcaif's Boomerang.

Mrs. Metcalf." said the magistrate,
''do l understand that you make a charge
Of assault and battery against Mr.. Met
calf e.
"Not exactly, Jour honor; you see
"Onc minute" said Mr.. Metcalf. "Per-
nit me to explain the matter. wanted
a patent double acting boomerang. The
popularity of the boomerang is that when
you throw it forward 1t flies backward
and hits something behind you"
"Whcn you throw it behind you what
does it Go?''
"Comcs straight to the front. On Tues
day bent the kitchen poker into the
boomerang shape and began to study the
scientific aspects of this remarkable
weapon"
"What tor?'
'Partly for the sake of developing
scientific truths, partly for the purpose
Of killing ducks. If want to kill a
duck with boomerang what do l do? I
walk away from him, go in the opposite
direction. This lulls suspicious in the
ducks mind. Suddenly take careful
aim, say at Jones' colored man, who is
chopping wood in the next yard. let
fly and the FIRST thing you know that
boomerang has gone wlooping over my
shoulder and killed Il duck-dcad, dead
us Julius Cesar. It's one one Of the most
beautiful things in the world
"Did you ever kill one in that way?'
"Wcll that is Just the point. No. ]
did not am praeticing. This is what
has excited Mrs. Metcalt. Wednesday
morning, while I was in the back yard
trying the thing, I foreeot. I aimed at q
bird house on the grapc-arbor, and the
poker went out of my hand and through
the kitchen window. 1 apcloyizcd t.
Mrs. Mctcalf and tried again. This time
I aimed right at the kitchen window, i'll
tending to hit the bird box back Of nc
The boomerang must have got twisted
somehow, tor the scientific principle was
temporarily suspended, and she went
bang! through the kitchen window
again.
'Struck Mrs. Metcalf:"
"Struck her as Il. wicked outrage. But
l explained; and bent the poker back tt
the proper angle. Then aimed at tho
pump and let her fly. She went up
! turned over, flew behind me, and nearly
Drained Matilda, the hired girl, who was
coming out Of the wootlshcd with an arm
full of chips, unhappily at that moment"
"Wbcrc is Matilda?"
ain thc hospital She is having q tire
pan-a kind of trap door---lct into hc1
! skull. She will sue me as soon us sllt
comes out. 1t is hard to suffer for scicn
tifc TRUTH
But have you managed to hit any ducks
yet?"
"I'll tell you. l caught !. duck and
tied it down to raspberry bush: l pro
icctcd the boomerang at that duck two
hundred and scvcnty-threc times, not
counting once when I slipped! hit
everything within forty feet of the bird
hit all the loose ducks and chickens;
smashed the glass in the hotbed; sent
the poker twice through sheet on the
clothes line, dug up all the flower beds
smashed eleven flower pots, ruined two
young peach trees, broke the top OF tho
pump, manned one pet dog for life, but
never hit my particular duck once. ]
don't know why. Probably l havn't got
the hang Of the thing YETI
"And Mrs. Mctcalf wants you to stop
practicing, does shc?'
eyes, sir. But I'm going to learn it il
have to go to Australia to get the mack
of it,
"Wcll, I hold you in 800 bonds not to
fling that boomerang again outside Of
Australia until you learn how"
;'Very we'll, your honor, but I leave 70,
there on the first train Tomorrow"
Then the Metcalfs withdrew.
+ There will he some lynch law in Aus,
tralia if Metcalf ever gets there.