Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-04-03
sips of Fun.

| A woman that successfully
hides her age is educated beyond
her years.
! When the old folks try to sit
out young fellow and his girl,
they get discounted every time.
The foundation for the mean
est man is laid when small boy
turns the worm hole in an apple
for his companion to bite from.
If a man really wants to know
of how little Importance he is,
let him go with his wife to the
dressmaker.
1t may be a very hard thing
to be tried by adyersity, but how
much harder to be tried by the
County Judge.
When Grimes seized the horses
hair as he performed a parabola
over the animals head, he said it
was simply looking out for the
name chance.
"What is the use of that man
painting his name twice ON his
sign?" said a gentleman to his
friend, as he pointed to a sign
which read %. e, Weller, dew
eller,"
a young lady sent twenty-five
cents and a postage-stamp in re-.
ply to an advertisementof GLOW
to make an impression" and re-
ceiyed for an answer, "Sit down
on a pan of dough- .
at is all very well," said
henpecked husband, when told
to look after the children; ''it is
all very well to tell me to mind
the youngsters, but it would suit |
me better if the youngsters
would mind me-"
A gentleman who recently
travelled over a notoriously slow
branch railroad declared that it
is the safest road in the country,
as the Superintendentkeeps a boy
running ahead of the train to
drive off the COWS and sheep.
"Why are you looking at me
SO intently, Alicel" said Theo-
dore. 81 was looking at vacan-
cy," replied Alice, dreamily;I
and yet there is a twinkle about
her mouth that shows her APP
praisement of the young man.
The Rev, Moses Brock was
reading a morning lesson in
church about the woman who
had seven husbands, and finish
ing the sentence, "And last of /
all the woman died." be added,
by way of comment, "And we'll
she mout,"
A New York man who had not
been out Of the city for years,
tainted away in the pure air of
the country. He was only re-
suscitated by putting a dead fish
to his nose, when he slowly re-
vived, exclamiug: Chats good
it smells like home!''
"I'm a rutabaga, and here's
where l plant myself said
tramp as he entered a farmhouse
near Freeport, H., and seated
himself at the table. "We al
lers bile ours" said the farmers
wife and soused him with dish
painful of boiling water.
"But yon know, pa said the
farmers daughter, when he spoke 4
to her about the addresses Of his
neighbor's son-''you know, pa,
that ma wants me to marry a ,
man Of culture" so do /, my
dear, so do /; and there's no bet
ter culture in the country than .
agriculture. E"
1t was a rich widow that won
dered that a handsome young
man had fallen in love with her.
s'Yes, it is wonderful, y said Mr..
Spruceup, 'sbut | do love you to
distraction. Why, / even love
the ground you walk on" II
thought so, observed the widow,
s'but | am not in want of q land
lord at present" "
There may be no more edify- {
ing and ennobling sight than TO
see a lady have tussle with {
her best dress on Sunday NOR i
ming, after the church bell be- ,
gins to ring, and she finds, at
the last moment, it Indignantly
refuses to hang right behind.
Angels couldn't use their tears
to better advantage than atsuch
a time-so we've been told.
sThere's music in the air.
Sang Blifkins daughter fair,
As she howled her loud soprano ID
And banged on the old piano,
"There's music in the air"
"There's music in the heir" s
Bliff kins himself did swear,
As he stuffed his ears with cotton
And the cold front door step sot on, {
"There's music in my heir" /