Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-02-02
WIT AND HUMOR.

L SShA1A SO4AOStONs % LdC OOy oUIo WuO
was too sore, after thrashing, to sit down
in comfort.
You may talk about the clean and
hungry Cassius," but did you ever take
aside view of the man who has run store
ten years without advertising?
She saw morning mosquito on the
cream white paper of the bedroom, and
crushed him then and there. But she
didn't know he was loaded. Stamford
| Adpocate
A great writer says ''some people are
porn Christians" but there's no occasion
1or worrying over the matter. They gen.
orally outgrow it.-Bridgeport Standard.
Men may come and men may 20, but
we want to see the man who will come
to town in two-horse wagon, and not 90
to crossing to stop his eam.-Brookp;lze
! Democrat.
| An old hat that once belonged to Ma
poleon I. was recently sold for thirty five
dollars, which is a good price, certainly,
when we consider that both the Nap. and
crown are gone.
A client remarked to his solicitor.
''You are writing my bill on very rough
paper, sir" ''Never mind,' was the re-
ply Of the latter, lit has tc be filed before
it comes into court"
Editors like brevity, but man who
was recently hung in Indiana suited them
too we'll. He made no remarks about
heaven, but nodded at the preacher and
said, ''I'll see you later, 'and thedrop fell.
1t is left for futurity to produce two
men who have sufficient Christian grace
to occupy different offices on the second
floor of a building, and then not wait for
each other to sweep the stairs.-F}uzton
Times.
No man can know all things, but there
are lots OF men who think they 90. They
are the fellows who give an editor so
much valuable information as to how to
run a newspaper-into the ground
Kenne6unk Star.
A Chicago publisher has issued book
entitled Chow to Become Plump" The
old way, you remember, was to fall out
OF third-story window and come down
plump. The new method is less danger
Gus, but not so certain.
The forest leaves are turning, and the
chestnut worms are squirming, as the
peanut man stands churning them upon
a fiery bed; and books will soon be laden
by every city maiden, with leaves which
nature made On purpose to be red.
! he was something of cynic. and when
he visited the grave of his rich, but hen
pecked friend, a few weeks after the
burial, and found there heroic. sized
female figure in marble as monument
he cried out: Poor, poor feIlow!-as
though it was not eaough in life, here
be is held down by woman in deathw
You need not be afraid of giving too
much. An old darkey said: "lf any oh
you know OBJ any church wat died of
liberality, jes tell whar it is, an will
take pilgrimage to it, an by de light
oh de pale moon will crawl upon its
moss covered root an write upon de top
most shingle, BLESSED am de dead whe
die in de Lord"
A clever Tnscarorap was tried ST Elko
Nevada, for cattle stealing. Tie jury
acquitted him without leaving the box,
and upon his return home a friend in
CURED as to the result of the trial: mo
cause of actioa," said the party, II mere
ly killed the OK in self-defensc. and ate
him fer spite, and, of course, was &C.
quilted by the intelligent jury.
It not unfrequently happens, in this
world of mistakes and thoughtlessness,
that man, even the best Of men, may
once or twice during a long and other
wise faultless life, kiss his hired girl by
mistake for his wife. But No man. Of ages
past OR of to. day, was ever known to kiss
| e. I In
that she was the hired girl.-Bur1ington
Ha,okeye.
"Ink can be preserved from mold by
putting Glove in the bottle" When
Mrs. Spriggins, wife of Spriggins, of the
Morning Aaoakener, read the above, she
cried excitedly: "There! now I know
what Mr.. S. always carries cloves in his
vest pocket for!'' And the good old I'M
suspecting soul looked as pleased as if
she had just heard Of a new way Of put
ting up blackberries.
A prayer-meeting was in progress in
the church in Mount Vernon, Ind, and 4
political procession, mistakiny the lighted
edihc for the hail in which mass-meet
ing was to be held, marched in with ban
ners flying, to the music of full band,
aud gave three cheers for its candidate.
The clergyman invited the politicians to
remain ''for their souls sake" but they
declined.
Edison says it is periodical rather than
continuous noise that wears upon the
brain. Correct! We can stand the splash
of waves, the jingle Of cars, the hum of
voices. and the sounds of rural life, but,
OIL deliver us from the young man who
plays the flute and the weil-meauing bun
unhappy female across the way VINO wants
to be ga merry, merry zlngra."-Neae
York Commercial Adyertiser.
As for the ministry, after an extended
reading of its biographical annals
through the whole period of our Aueri-
can history, we hesitate not to express
the belief that there has never been
time froaa the first, when our pastors as
body, have been more able, energetic
and Jealous in all good works than they
are DISQUALIFICATION.
We are glad the circus season is about
over. For sometime past we hive en-
joyed reading exchanges which had the
delinquent tax list on the fist page, the
proceedings of the board Of su pervisors
on the second and third, a circus adver-
tisement on the fourth; but it's getting
to be little monotonous. and we are
pleased now to find on the fourth page
a notice ofa new liver pill "a sale ofblood-
ed stock, and thanks fo1 a peck Of apples.
l--Haaoteye.
The manager Of a Scotch theatre at
which Ksan was playing Macbeth, see
ing him greatly exhausted toward the