Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-05-02
Hawk-Eyetems.

Lent are exceedingly long.
Many smokers have noticed that for
some mysterious reason there is no
pleasure in smoking in the dark.
Saturday Night. "She never told her
love-" that she had been eating onions,
but their chairs were found good ways
apart the next morning.
Troy Press: For the benefit of the
children who are interested in their
parents, we announce that the circus
crop this year will be large.
Turner's Falls Reporter: An illiterate
correspondent, who is given to sport
ing, wants to know when the " Anglo
Saxon race" so much talked about, is
to come off. g., .-.-a.-.
"What is the Lady of Lyons? "
asked Laura, looking up from her book.
"Lioness, of course, you goose" re-
piled Tom, with ON expression of many
holiness and superior wisdom. ..
A company is being organized in Hol-
land for the importation of American
live meat. That is all right. You just
want to remember there is an immense
ulueTeuCo DetWteu llNo luSdt uutt live
cheese. ttf
Boston Transcript. The dreadful fact
that there are minute bugs in brown
sugar and wiggling cells in the best vim
egar calls for action. Humanity, as
we'll as the bugs and cells, calls loudly
for protection.
Boston Commercial Bulletin: A CORE
1af,f xu,alao 10 MI, ok Sc la.
best western settlement" One hun
dred cents ON dollar is the best settle
ment We know Of, but there are not
many of that kind in the west.
King Oscar of Sweden is about to
reply to Pope Plus ks attacks on
Freemasonry. King Oscar himself is
Royal American Bengal Star-striped
Bashi Bazouk, if his unpretentious
name does make you think of a street
car. .t
Captain Paul Boyton is still placidly
floating down the Ohio, along with the
drift wood and turtles, and he guages
the intelligence, refinement, and Gull
ture of the towns past which he floats.
by the number of people who come
down to the bank aud watch him pad
die. 4rF. 20
Things quoted David, in poetical
mood, "are not what they seem" "Of
course not" commented Sadie, "The
sewing machine seams, but everybody
knows the machine isn't the skirt it
seams" And then nobody said any
thing for Icing time, and David made
some remark about people who couldn't
appreciate sentiment.
Menotti Garibaldi is going to lead
5000 Italians into Australasia this sum.
mer to establish colony on the New
Guinea coast. 1t is happy thought.
They can take their organs with them,
and the monkeys they can have for the
catching. The only question is, have
the natives of New Guinea any nickels
or street car checks to pay for "ze
moosic 2"
Deadwood is ready for admission to
the union. A Judge was compelled to
censure jury for acquitting three men
whom they knew to be guilty of muir
der. Deadwood is SO rapidly develop
ing the ways of civilization, that jury
in that county knows almost as little,
and can misuse what little it does know
as wretchedly as the juries in the
States.
Lucy Bell, n colored girl of st.
Joseph, Missouri, stole two silk dresses
and has been sent to the penitentiary
Tor five years. Mr.. Gates, State treas
urer of Missouri we forget just how
much money belonging to the State he
had that the State will never see again,
and we kind OF disremember exactly
what was not done to him for it. We
only know that we got the impression
that Lucy Bell didn't steal enough.
: OIL City Derrick: I think twas in
September, if I rightly now remember,
that l heard a knocking, knocking at
my door syes, 1 know twas in'Septem-
Der, for quite we'll now remember he
had been there about fifty times before;
Flliad been there knocking at my door.
But opened not, nor wondered, as up
on tho door he Numbered, for he yelled,
f" Say now will you settle this ere bill
I bring you,"s as he battered on the
door, and answered, calmly answered,
"Nevermore." ..,.,. a.. .', a., le 10y,
Recently the train boys have added
to the literary department Of their mo-
madic establishments .the Police GasRtts
and the Police NewS, which are now
sold openly on many trains. They
might Just as we'll be let off. The travel
ing public can getafong without them.
They contain no news, and less morals.
The spectacle OF two or three copies. of
those profusely but not very carefully