, 1879-10-18
leeklp Statesman.
SATURDAY. OCTOBER IS, 1879.
THE WIDOW CHIPS IN.
iSbe Handles the "tHd Poyd" UiN"1

Chores.
TUruErowN, September u, 1879.
Yor Or FooL:-I don't believe You sc
sense enough 10 last You over night, jim
Snaprleby. When 1t comes down 10 square
up aud up tomfoolery you never mss trick
Here you've been writing a string OF non
sense TO that other old idiot, Bill Bricher'
and Bills been rsading 1t ont regularly 70
the gang down to Frisbies, making you the
laughing stock Of the country. iou re a
born lack. Jim Suag.lcby, an out and ont
fool, and | wouldn't take it back If was
10 die for II this minute In the first place,
you can't smell worth cent ve seen your
two last letters; and ii bad a iive-y year-old
boy that couldn't spell better th'h you 40
I'd settle his case on mighty snort "rner.
I'd tie 4 quartz stamp to his neck and chuck
him into the BIZ Ditch jim >nagglehy'
you're spe.liug's a disgrace. Then, there
yonr hand write, it Posi'5rs'y ho/T1d ouali
tracks on a sandy bottoms newspaper PRINT
TO it. Egyptiaa hieroglyphics Is red,
white. and blue circus blIl alongside OF H.
You ought to he ashamed of yourself, Bill,
and if you amt. | am. Big a fool as You
are. Snagcleby. I'm teetotaliy dis2nsted
with the lack OF education You show by the
letters Won write. Ii | was you I'd hire
one Of them Hilj rs you tell about to write
YOUR letters for v"u. May he he write
for Won on n I'm pir'a aud send 1t to your
correspondent m o ,rrh bo,rL Why don
you get some Of those gCrJe9H< "9I"eH You
talk about to help you ont: They'd d" Ii,
YOU know. They're famous for assisting un-
educated institutions like you to make
good show in the world. And besides that,
you've got to be such iddi.> mnn that they
couldn't resist. Jim, you're the worst ever
.aw What kind Of a teacher did yon have
when You went to- school, anyhow: II bet
she was cross-eyed and red haired, or yon
a paid more attention to what She vas learn
ing Won. Bat II : a two t. one hct that the
old thing didn't have 10 education herself
And then there's your grammar. ID" you
know what grammar Is. jim: The China
men round here talk better grammar than
Won do, and mighty SIGHT less slang. Why,
Jim Snaggcby. you can throw more solid
slang to the square inch than any man IN
forty counties. Bill Helchers bad enough,
the Lord knows, but you can discount hlIm
and give him points every time. Aud an
other thing, Jim Snaggleby, don't want
you to keep ringing me IN your letters una!
you learn how to spell ,rdi01r. It's slcken-
Ing, the way you're etcrnaily fetching my
name into your UWepeilci map'Gmmrfca'
6ddlg lrritfea leiters to that odd whisky
drinking, gooa-tor-n nothing BllI Belchcr Fa-
miliarIty breeds contempt, and you've done
it. Your remarks ahont me taking a bath
at them 1rGSb horses, aS You called them.
was especially hateful. DO you suppose |
want To make a show of myself III a sky
blue Jumper and 4 pair Of short-le@ged
bloomers for yop2 Not much, | amt Il cir
Gus woman, and don't ride a bronco strad-
ding. The idea Of you talking about women.
Uimhen don't spell romau. jim. lou don't
know no more about women, Jim, than Il
yaller dog knows about the day Of Judgment.
Tou 90 Un n Il great rate about what NICE
clothes they wear, and what beautiful com
pleXlons they We got. COMPETITIONS Why,
Jim, those compilations Is laid on with a
brush Just rs you'd lay on the colar of Il red
wagon. When calico iadcS we say 1t wont
wash, and when a woman fades she paints.
As a general thing bcauty'S only skin deep.
What do You think of your J0rg~50> w'mhsA
now? If you'd behaved halfway decent,
and was capable of understanding or appre-
ciating good a'!ricc. 1t give you Il point or
two on the fashionable women thai re turn
ing your brainieSs old head, but yoa amt,
and | suppose the next tang we'll hear
about you viii be- that y"u've col married TO
one of them hateful old painted Jezchcls
y0n re for ever shouting about. II you know
what is good for You, you'll steer clear of
.tdSh;om5'c romn. They're too hi.h for
you, and before you've been married six
hs L..
whistle When ynu Re busted the fashiona-
BILE women hasHt any mere uSa for you, and
you'll be ont lii the cold Ii you know
when you're well oil You Il come back to
Tuolumne and settle down \ rolling stone
gathers no moss and candle that Is burnt
at both ends don't last long. But vou might
as well blow against the wind - to try and
beat common sense into the head Of born
fool If | MAS you. jan. II 20 to nishr
school while | was staying down at tie bav.
Id improve my eGucation III spelling. writ
ing, and grammar You may b. a fool for
luck, but you re not fool for ANYTHING else
except your o.'n froIcry. Ii yuu don't
want to have everybody III the whole coun-
try SrInnnC ut You when You come back
yon better let up on those letters to Bill
Beicher. Write t" somebody thatll m-
prsvc your spelling and grammar.
PRISCILLA JoNES.
p S.-h You can match this piece oi En-
press cloth You can send 1t alnng. | guess
seventeen yards VII! do. TO to the store
yourself and ask for The staff He'll know
what yon want better than any Of your D'ja3-
men will. It'll Gust about four bits ward
T. j.
Tc JAMES SNAGGLEEy, Palace Hotel. :. F.