The Plymouth Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1878-1901, 1879-03-06
PaStiIne.

faStlme.
In Michigan a bride may be mar
ried without glovos-precisely the
way she handles her husband.
II you are In love, just constitute
yourself TELLER committee" OF one,
and settle the business. Time flies;
delays arc dangerous. ~Teller."
A little four year-old girl said to
her teacher, "Our dogs dead; I bet
the angels was scared when they saw
him coming up the walk. He's cross
to strangers.
"what makes your lips 90 awful sore?'
Asked sarsiI's cross-eysd pap:
And Sarah TO the old man said:
ats caused by a small chap"
Then sarahs youngest brother.
As yet unknown 10 fame,
Looked Sarah in the ewes and asked:
"what is that young chaps nane7"
An out-of- town man, travelling in
Boston horse car, pulled the bell strap
vigorously. ard made the bell ring at
each end. what are you ringing at
both ends for?" said the conductor,
Because wish the thing to stop at
both ends"
Will science please stand up and
tell us why girl who freezes TO
death every time she sweeps of the
front steps, can ride fifteen miles in
a sleigh with nothing around her but
some other girls brothers arm. with
out even getting blue nose?
"James," said a schoolmaster to
his pupil. "what is an average?' "A
thing, sir" answered the scholar,
promptly, that hens lay eggs on"
"Why do you say that,y you silly boy?'
asked the pedagogue. Because,
sir" said the youth. Il heard gentle
man say the other day as hen would
lay on an average, hundred and
twenty eggs a year."
A good colored man once sail, in a
class meeting: Brethren, when /
was boy took a Ratchet aud went
into do woods. When found tree
dat was straight, big. and solid, I
didn't touch dat tree; but when l
found one leaning little and hollow
inside, / soon had him down. So
when de debbil goes after Christians.
he don't touch dem dat stand straight
and true, but dem dat lean a little
aud are hollow inside.
"Where do the women's shoes go
TO anyhow" exclaimed vexed father
when his daughter demanded a new
pair. A young hopeful who is pre-
pairing to enter the school for para
graphers, answered. Il know where
the woman's who lives next door 60
to-" "Where?" demanded the parent.
Her Shoes go to our old hens, which
are always in the garden The boy
was placed on bread and water for
seven days.
A learned clergyman in the State
Of Maine was accosted in the follow
ing manner by an illiterate preacher.
who despised education. "Sir, you
have been to colledge, / suppose,
YES. sir," was the reply. II am
thankful" rejoined the former, that
the Lord has opened my mouth to
preach without any learning" "A
similar event, replied the clergyman,
took place in Balaam's time, but
such things are Of rare occurance In
the present day."
The Rev. DIR. Jeter. OF Richmond.
told this story at his own expense
Many years ago an artless stranger,
whom / casually met, said to me, Il
hear you preach every Sunday. You
are the greatest preacher ever did
hear" "Ah,r said i, "you have not,
suppose, heard Mr.. NJ. preach.
CAT that that time Mr.. M. was attract
ing great attention by Lis sermons
Yes" he replied, q" / have heard Mr..
NJ. several times. He Is a great
preacher; but he is not so grea, a
preacher al you are. You have the
mournfulest voice OF any man ever
did hear