The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-05-08

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SPRING is always beautiful TO the poe
who wears green spectRcles.
TIE actTess with the biggest feet al
ways wants to play Cinderella.
: The time Is near at hand when every
one can have peas in the family.
CLUBS are good for men who make
home hsppy by staying away from it.
TIE tramp isn't rich, but he can af
ford to spend his summer in the country
THE hute-player stops when he loses
his teeth. The fiddler goes on forever
NEVER say to q man running across
lots in the immediate lead of wild bull,
" Be not swift to take fence l'
THAT cruel-hearted Steubsnton says
his wife's easter bonnet isn't nearly ss
big SIS the roll of bills that bought it.
IFa msn will tell me what he thinks
Sv his nabnrs, kan tell him what his
nabors think ov him.-C Josh Billings.
THE amount of piu money required
by the married woman dependso on wheth-
er she uses diamond pins or rolling pins
Now clean up the rubbish about your
premises and dispose of it by tossing 1t
over into your neighbor's yard.
You can always tell when the hero
and heroine in play are man and wife.
They infuse no warmth or feeling in the
stage kiss.
SITTING BULL's medicine man is
about to issue little pamphlet on the
Treatment of the Scaip."-CB Burling-
ton Hswkeye.
SHORT, isolated sentences WAS the
mode in which ancient wisdom delighted
to convey its precepts for the regulation
of human conduct.
A MAN was boasting that he had an
elevator in his house. 80 he has,"
chimed in his wife " and he keeps it in
the cupboard in bottle"
YEA this is life. Make this fore-
noon sublime, this afternoon a psalm,
this night q prayer, and time is con'
quereG and thy crown is won.
IT was wise man who said, "He is
passing rich who can number friends
enough for q jury-who can lose two or
three and not be a bankrupt"
THERE are come things that are as
well kept dark. 1t isn't policy to throw
light upon such a subjects as an open
barrel OF gunpOwder, for instance.
HYPERoRITIoIsM. Grace (whispe ring)
&c What lovely boots your partners
got, Mary l'' Mary (dItte)-" Yes, un>
fortunately he shines at the wrong end"
THE first women employed in the
national treasury were appointed iu 1852.
There are now 300 in the departments
of Washington, who receive salaries
varying from 5000 to 81 800 yearly.
"He lives above his income"
Was the dark reproaeh he bore,
Hi az lat II va remetn oered
hat he lived above his stsrs.
CHuDRENs s singing breathes of Para
disc; clear liquid tones that how from
lips and innocent hearts, like the sweet~
of flute, or the falling of water from
fountain.
BRIGHAM YoUNG's grave is guarded
against resurrectionists by two men day
and night. The wives of the Prophet
rarely visit the tomb, and many have
remarked.
edith" Now, grandpa, don't the
Bible say our hairs are all numbered 2"
Bald-headed Grandpa" Yes, child,
yesp Edith" Well, grandpa, it didn't
trouble them much to count yours,
did it ?"
COMMERCIAL travellers are q good
illustration of the development theory.
This springs styles have about an inch
and half more cheek than usual, and
about a ton and three.qusrters more
baggage.
THE child probably destined to be
the greatest of American naturaiists is
already born. He lives in this city, and
is the author of the remark that A
jsckass is the only animal that winks
with his ears"
or course no woman ever did sueh q
thing, but supposinR now, for the sake of
argument, as it were, that woman was
to go to church for the purpose of show
ing of her new sacque, would 1t be sac
religious, so to speak2
THERE is no use of trying to get q
person to relish cod>liver oil by telling
him that you took it yourself for sev>
eral years and grew to like it better
than quail on toast. 1t only wraps his
stomach up moro and more like a scrub
bing board.
PERHAPS the funniest object is the
mau who spends his first day in a news
paper Office. He tries to appear as if be
had been in a newspaper Office all his
life but somehow he doesn't seem to feel
easy. There seems to be too many
bones in his shad.
a BABHEUL young Hau dppttSu u
his village paper for information on the
important subject, " How TO win a wO-
mans love" The reply was, 4" Kiss the
babies, caTess the cat, and pay strict at
tention TO the old lady"
"How SHALL we train our girls 2"
asks an exchange. Train 'em with
about twenty-five yards of black silk,
if you want to please your girls. A silk
velvet train would also make 'em hap
py.-l NorristoWn Herald.
A GIRL thus wrote to bashful suitor
4" Yes, when you asked me If l would
marry you-Oh I ought not to have
done it, suppose-but then it was such
an opportunity, and so I smiled the cue
to you and answered, NeverP And
you stupid, you froEe and bowed like a
telegraph pole and left. Oh dear me,
and l certainly thought that at this
day there was nobody under the sun
who was so unpsrdonably obtuse, so far
behind the age and the rage, that he
would not have instantly met me with,
What, never p and given me q chance
to reply, Well, hardly ever
Dates CheaD and Nutritious Food.