, 1879-02-01
DiyerSitieS.

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Ifpeople didn't talk they wouldn't say
anything.
The Chicago papers call Edison gas
slighter
Once l was pure as the snow; but
met visiting statesman. Agnes jerks.
The idea of being captured by Mexican
bandits strikes the Chicago female mind as
perfectly scrumptious.
/ 1t is possible that when little Phil read
the reply of Secretary Schurz he may have
wished that he were twenty miles away "
Troy Dye, the great Sacramento scoun-
drel of the 10Th century Is fonnd guilty.
He viii meet Caesar Borgia before he gets
through
When you see a fossilized individual
running for office, you can bet your bot
tom dollar that he needs the place more
than the place needs him.
Gan rich men" says the New Orleans
Picayune, should marry" Any para
grapher who is still unattached should
take the hint.-N- Y Com 4dr.
A sewing machine agent has been found
in Chicago with his head smashed. We
always sad that Chicago was bound to
become civilized in timei
Don't censure the rejected lover for
shooting the falr one who discourages his
advances. He has suffered, and in his
unselfshness he desires no other man To
suffer likewise.
They are skating and harvesting ice in
Atlanta, Georgia, for the first time in
twenty years. This is another reason
why the North and South should clasp
hands across the bloody chasm.
Great efforts are being made by the
radicals for firing Grant ont as candidate
for the next presidency. Ii they nomi-
Van Buren, was on his second run.
Talmase says: Convert editors and
all nations will seek salvation" That's
all right brother, but it costs money; no
editor viii get religion unless he has a
new suit Of clothes to go TO church in.
Queen Victoria enjoyed q sleigh ride
the other day-Er. Pshaw, 1t takes a
girl Of eighteen winters and a chap with
good strong arms to enjoy sleigh ride
We don't believe the Queen had much
fua.
The office of Poet General to the King
Of the Cannibal Islands has just been de-
clared vacant, Without any desire to dis
courage emigration in that direction, it is
but right to add that the last incumbent
was eaten by his Majesty.
We have never heard i. said that Sena-
tor Blaine lives on the smoke of the bat
Ties i'll which he fought In fact the Sen
ator, like many other distinguished and
irreeoncilable men, managed to keep cleas
of all battle fields
What Scott, Burns and others have
said of Caledonia has been put into asmall
quarto gift book.-Literary Note. You
can bet your last paper collar on it that no
''smail quarto gift book" would hol0 what
Caledonia has said of Scott and Burns
alone.
The St Paul Dispatch tells of young
man who bought for SO from a rival
quit claim to ii girls affections, paid 50 on
account and got credit for the remainder;
pawned his overcoat for 81 to buy her
present with, stole TIE coat and was sent
to Jail.
4 man in California wants us to adver-
tise his poultry and take our pay in eggs.
Not much You don't, it is too late now, if
you had given Us that lay tgo months ago
Sl,A hos H., ta hut
hens are now making up for lost time.
Senator Booth, of California, has intro
duced !. bill which reduces the price of
public lands from $3.50 an acre to 81 %,
and gives emptors a right to obtain
100 acres under the Homestead act the
same as any other government land.
For the past three years or so the voice
of the press of the country has been ac-
cusin9 Mr.. Secor Robeson of downright
thievCry while acting As Grants secretary
of the navy Mr. Robeson has suddenly
become aware of this, and has blushed
and has-demanded an investigation.
''Ole Nirginny" bemoans the departure
of many of her sons who 90 to the West |
and South west to grow up with the coun- |
try. The attractions Of the whiPping-post |
and the Moffit bell punch arenot sufficient
to hold the boys of energy and ambition |
to her old tield-pines and worn-out soil
Lonise--Yes. there are between 10000 /
and 20, 900 words in Webster's Dictionary |
but If you ever 90 ont to meet your beau |
at the back yard gate and step inadvert-
antly into bucket of water you will be |
that IL Is toe incomplete to per- |
nit Of a free expression of your opinions.
a man may sneer at woman all he |
VIII because she cannot sharpen lead /
pencil, but she has the smile on him /
when he stands holding an unoccupied
button in his hand, and won
iering whether it will burt less to pull the
needle out of his thumb the same way Il
went in or push it on through.
4 Memphis pal,er says: a stranger
iroping into Memphis to-day can see no
evidence of the fearful seourge that for
.hree months has been destroying oar peo-
pie. The streets are throrged as of yore
with bright eyed business men, intent on
he main chance and also with more than
he usual number OF idlers, with nothing
20 do but hold to the lamp posts
Kearney still hEes, and is in continued
of his usual vigor and mental
aculties, Judging from this latest echo
rom the region of sand lots: 81 am con
'inced from what | saw in the east that
California must take care of herself, for
,reater lot Of scoundrels never lived than
hose at present in Congress They
would steal anything, from temporary nai
% a whole railroad
The ''star of empire" III taking its way
westward, does no; stop for cold weather.