The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-01-27
BUHDEAAS.

The latest thing in hose-The feet
The song of the top-Hum again.
1t is beauty's privilege to kill time, and
times privilege to kill beauty.
The man who patronizes secondhand
clothing store is never troubled with fits
Sixteen different Connecticut men claim to
fact.
A Boston paper denies that doorstep
can be aristocratic, Then how can room
look dignifed?
A prisoner when asked what trade he
wanted to learn said. IF there is no OBJ
lection 1 would Like to be sailor"
A boy "out at the elbows" was asked the
cause, and replied II laughed in my
sleeves till I burst them"
What is that which never asks any ques-
tions but requires many answers a-The
street door.
All the theology in the world has never
succeeded in answering the child's question:
"Why doesn't God kill the devil z"
The difference between the weather and
baby is simply that lone never rains but
it pours, while the other never pains but it
roars."
Wives should always sit up for their hus-
bands, instead of getting their servants to do
30. 1t makes two hours' difference in their
arrival
If it takes one hog to make ham, how
many hogs will it take to make hammer
-Er. Only one pig-of iron. .-Nor,1sto,0n
Herald.
IT'S your house warm one, landlord ?"
asked a gentleman in search of house.
''It ought to be-" was the reply, 'the
painter gave it two coats recently"
''What I object to-" said Texas horse
thief, as he was about to be hung, liz your
hanging me here when there's plenty of
shade close by. However, go ahead"
Young and pretty American girl in Paris
-"What in the world are you doing here ?"
''pm spending my honeymoon" "But
where's your husband 2" ''Oh, he's in New
York. Paris Figaro.
eve had short-cake for tea," said little
girl to a neighbor's boy, to whom she was
talking through the fence. $50 did we"
he answered; very short-so very short it
didn't go round"
zone half of the world doesn't know how
the other half lives p exclaimed a gossip
ing woman. ''Oh well," said her neigh
Dor, don't worry about it, 'tisnt your fault
if they don't know"
An old bacelor at wedding feast had the
heartlessness to offer the following toast:
''Marriage-The gate through which the
happy lover leaves his enchanted regions
and returns to earth"
A Boston young man married against the
wishes of his parents, and, in telling a
friend how to break the news to them, said:
Itch them first that I'm dead, and gently
work up the climax"
Dearest" he murmured estatically, as
he infolded her in his arm for the first time,
''let me sample the nectar of your lips. 1"
'"lake whole schooner Of it," she family
whispered, ''its all on tap"
May Heaven preserve your eyesight 7"
said beggar-woman to man with small
why ?" he asked. Because" said she,
| 30 lo1d
The other night we dropped into the
theatre, and when at the end Of the act the
curtain dropped and the boys dropped out
to take drop, we knew why it was they
called it drop curtain.
A clothier has excited public curiosity by
having large apple painted on his sign.
When asked for an explanation, he replies:
IF it hadn't been for an apple, where
would the ready made clothing store be TO-
day?
"This tunnel is one mile long, and the
train will be four minutes passing through
it," shouted lying brakeman on the Cen
trail Pacific Railroad; and when the train
dashed into daylight in just four seconds,
the sight of fellow kissing his girl was
| revealed.
J.. ''Do you love her still /" asked the Judge
to man who wanted divorce. Certain
y do" said he II love her better still
than any other way, but the trouble is she
will never be STILL" The Judge, who is O
married man himself, takes the case under
advisement.
Bashful lover---''Ah, miss, I, wanted Ia
see your father I've some important busi.
uess matters to propose to him." Benevo.
lent young lady-'Well, I'm sorry father
IS not in-but can't you make the proposal
to me?" The wedding cards were soon
ordered
It is 1amentable fact that q piece OF
pasteboard with a verse on it, given as a re-
ward of merit in Sabbath school, has moi
half the charm for boy as the same size
piece of paste board with the talismanit
words, admit one. ."-Boston Globe.
Woman is naturally gifted with quicker