Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1879-06-12
A COUNTRY MERCHANTS TRIALS.

Whats butter?" she exclaimed in
a sbrill voice. 81 mean good butter,
none of your nasty hair-streaked stuff,
but number one gilt-edged creamery,
iii for General Grant or Henry Ward
Beecher, or"-here she paused to see
why that "pesky man didn't bring it
in." During the pause the proprietor,
whom long years of experience had
made shy of elderly iron-clad females,
edged out and suddenly remembering
that something needed fixing in the
storc-room, sent his clerk, an oily
tongued youth 10 the tender mercies Of
the butter-maker. BY the time the
change was effected the weaker half
appeared bearing frkin of aromatic
something that caused the clerk 10
think of "Araby the blest."
" Set it right there, lothian, so that
the boss can look at it, though ] don't
presume he'll care about examining
anything that bring"
Heavens, no" CALCULATED the clerk
in an undertone, "a smell is enough"
Where's the old man." now broke
from the old lady, who perceived for
the first time the metamorphosis. al
want to deal with men, not with BOYS
who don't know good butter from lard
trot out YOUR boss, bub, if you want to
truck with our family"
The proprietor is engaged --"
+" ! don care if he's married. guess
he can tend to first class customers"
" But, madam, you did not allow me
TO finish the proprietor is engaged in
watching at the bedside of a diving
child to which he was summoned a few
minutes since"
Heaven bless that boy" murmur-
ed the boss from his position at the
| keyholc Of the store-room door: "heav-
en- bless him, he will be an honor 10 me
before he leaves my roof"
young man if what YOU say is true,
and you seem too young for a dclibcra tc
liar, I'll try and get along with you;
now just tell me what you can give me
I for that butter and return the tirkin."
The young man ncryed himself, lift.
cd the cover, and behcld 4 ma. Of
strcakcd stuff in a partial state Of de-
/ composition.
" | can give YOU"
Don't think I'm a hog and want
you to give me fifty or sixty cents
pound, for my ncighbor- know that !
never asked over thirty cents, even if !
could have got ihirty-iye for it in Chi
cago; and -ha'u't ask you any more,
50 If you want 1t for thirty cents take
it along, aud sling down some prints
for me Ia examine
" Really, madam. don't believe we
could give thirty cents; the market is
/ fiat on butter
But they don't get such butter as
that every day"
That. 80, madam, neither do we;
and they don't know down there how
to appreciate such butter when they DO
get it."
We'll, what can you give me, twen-
ty-four cents"
No. ma am owing 10 the unusually
crowded state of the market, the large
/ quantity Of olcomargarinc now manu-
iaciurcd, the depression of the hog
market, and the poor prospects Of an
eastern war ("I'll advance his wages"
murmurcd the old man, Il can offer
you but five cent per pound, and you
throw in the frkin.'
"Eirc cents a pound and me giro you
he frkin! Young fellcr. | wouldn't
sell YOU the firkin for that; YOU peak
headed ape, YOU had better go off some
where and hate yourself TO death; you
pug-no-ed, thick.lipped fool, YOU
Jotham bring that butter here this
minnit and don't stand there with your
mouth open from car TO ear, hearing
your own lawful wife abused by this
white livered, counter Jumper, who
don't know how 10 treat a lady who is
respectfully connected and whose only
fault is being too willing to stand every.
thing before saying anything" 10Th
am patiently lifted the iirkin and start
cd for the door, when the old lady, sec
ing that the clerk didn't act as though
he intended to try TO stop her, spoke
in n milder tone.
See here, my youthful, maybe your
ma died when you was young and you
failed TO get brought up right, aud,
come to look at you again, | believe |
hare seen peakeder heads than yourn,
so don't feel angry and I'll throw of the
four cents and make it straight twenty
cents. What do you sayr"
Madam, you are in error as regards
my maternal ancestor; she is living at
the advanced age Of eighty-four years,
and | can safely say that I never suf
fered from bringing up she ai,odys
brought me up, sometimes very sudden
ly. With reference TO the cone-like
shape of my head, | assure you it was
rn,..nl L.. .t.n .l.x 20 ,.rswa hugsar lsEn