The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-07-10
and felt like highway robber! loud

NOV SCoe AAon ho8 SOs WASAO0t ony
(Laughter.l I would
have liked very much to have kept that
half dollar, as it was my fret fee; but /
had to sIeud it. was like the boy in
The novel-poor but honest. ZAP
plause.] 1 am poor yet. (Laughttr
and applause l arrived home in due
lime and went into the practice. had
al the experience common to young
hysicians. ] met the old lady who
doctored Sam SlOcum's wife when she
was sick. She was handy with q mus
tard draft and a hot poul,ice. She
wore o wart on her nose and q red ban
danda handkerchief on her head. Loud
Laughter.]
1 THE old lady and became fast friends
and would have remained SO until this
day il the old lady had not taken the
cramp collie, was called to see her,
and concluded to cup her. 1 had no
cupping glass, and concluded to use q
glass tumbler. l worked and pulled
and the old lady howled. Igroped in
unutterable darkness for quarter Of an
hour, and then got hammer apd broke
the glass. [Laughter.] We never spoke
again. GApplause and laughter.
The Southwest was at that time set
tied by nomadic class of people.
They are not there now. They moved
to Arkansas every fsll and came back 10
Missouri every spring. Each family
generally worked yoke Of steers in an
old shack of wagon with blind horse
or lame one in the lead. They gener-
ally had about ten or a dozen children,
fourteen dogs and sn old gun! Iwsited
on them In stables, tents, wagons, under
wagons and out of doors. l sometimes
found as many as three or four in one
bed, and they would emit an odor some
what akin to that emanating from o sad.
die blanket full of wet cats. Laugh
ter had q young and tender stom.
ach then, also. have since developed
q stomach that don't get its back up
at every passing bad smell. Laughter ]
But of all things that afflicted me in
my early experience as ply sician. the
idea of q consultation was the worst. ]
dreaded meeting the old ply ysicisns. !
thought gray hairs and wisdom were
synonomous words There was . man
practicing in that country who had been
there, well. ever since the food. He
had wonderful reputation. put the
thing of rs long As could, but the in.
evitable came at last. One of the prom
inent men in my neighborbood got sick
with pneumonia. and when the lung had
solidiied, and he had passed near unto
death. honestly informed the family of
his dangerous condition. OF course
they called Smith. call him Smith be-
cause that was not his name. Smith
came, and / met him with fear and
trembling. he wore No. 8 hat and a
No. Is boot. daughter 1 gave him
the history of my case and the treat.
ment, and awaited the coming storm.
I expected to be overwhelmed with q
food of technicalities and with his
wonderful knowledge of pathological
anatomy. He looked at me through his
spcctacles with the gravity Of an owl,
and said: doctor. did you ever try a
black cat skin popltice in these cases."
(Uproaricus laughter.) / admitted that
In my ignorance never had.
thought it good time for mo to get
out of the case. So I informed the fam.
lily that, as DR.. Smith had been the fam
lily physician before they knew me, he
had better take the case. They were
only too glad TO make the change. That
was an awful and calamitous night on
cats. especially black cats.
The man died, and Smith told them
that il he had seen the case two hours
Q lalier, s:d had succeeded in getting q
"lecdle" blscker cat he would have
saved him. Laughter) The family
still think 30. Sacred be the memory of
Smith; he has been gathered TO his faith.
crs.
My next consultation was with a man
whom, for convenience, / shall call
Jones. rode Is miles on q dark night
10 meet him. When l went into
the cabin was met with terrible smell
which gave me srasmodic asthma. ]
thought they were burning old boot
heels. (Laughter) Jones arose from
one corner of the room and introduced
himself. saw at once that he was a
man Of high standing in the profession
six feet three in his stocking feet. He
had but one eye and his nose looked like
q red lantern In a torch-light procession.
(Laughter.) When he lowered over me
and beamed on me with his good eye
and that note, almost wilted. laugh
ter.) asked whence came that awful
smell. He said he was burning chicken
feathers under the bed for q certain pur,
pose. He added that he had always
heard that Dominicker feathers were the
best. (Laughter.) When ] came to ex
anime the case found the poor woman
covered all over with ears OF hot corn
The doctor said that he had always heard
that boiled corn was good in these cases
I told him I thought it was good-for
horses. The woman died, but am sorry
10 say that Jones still lives. daughter
and applause.)
Ihave been requested to give. for the
benefit Of those who make o specially of
diseases Of the ear, o case Of deafness /
didn't treat. The man came into my Of
fee with o peculiar, listening expression
on his face, and putting his right hand
behind his ear, he said, in q voice that
showed evident enlargement of his ton,
sils:"
"Is this DR.. Kings Officer Doctor,
I've come to see If you could cure my
deafness. I've been deaf for a long
time, and I've tried q good many doc.
tors, and they amt done me no good,
and I've paid out a heap OF money, and
Pm o mighty poor man; you mustn'i
charge Inc much. Do you think you
can cure mer'
"Hah," said, 81 don't know"
He said, "HshI don't know"
! said at the top of my voice, "daybs
you had better 60 to an aurist."
CDR. Forest" said he, sis q good doc
torr'
II didn't say Forest, replied; "l
said aurist, q man who treats diseases OF
the ear" in q voice loud enough to spill,
him from end TO end.
He said, "Hah!"
"Oh, 60 down stairs and soak your
feetw / said, not knowing what else to
soy.
''Soakum s. Feet" said he, edo they
cure deafness! Do you think they car
cure me?"
/ adjourned on him 10 get rid Of him
am going to send him to my friend DR..
spencer. loud laughter and applause.
Mr.. President, I am glad 1 came here
and especially glad to meet SD many
gentlemen of the profession. l always