West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1879-05-10
A Romance OF the Pistol.


Barney Mcl}rar was the hero and the
terror of Mad Mule Flat lie was hv pro
iession n shootist, twenty-onc years of ave.
Ills sole stock IN trade consisted OF two navy
revolvcrs, couple OF dcrrugers and a
bowie knife. These articles never left his
person. lie sustained life mainly, hv
swallowing daily an indefinite number of
whisky straights, for which no barkccp-
er ever thought of demanding pay. lie
ruled Mad Mule Flat with rod of iron.
Ills four pistol barrels were four literal.
ruling rods of iron. His body was adorned
with comely raiment, he lodged and fed
sumptuousy; his linen was OF the purcst
and whitcst yet like unto the wild lilies of
the valley, he neither toiled nor spun The
lsraelitish clothing dealer groaned heavily
in spirit when Barney McBriar entered his
establishment and ordered of him "A suit, vet
he ventured no remonstrance. Why Be
cause it is unhealthy 20 irritatc shootist
Barney McBriaT was shOotist
At the tender age of ane years. Barney
McBri~'s schoOlmam one day boxed his
ears Whcreupon little Barney whippcd
ont bowie knife, the present Of Texas
uncle (whose last advice was never To take
blow from any man, and with il he eN-
plorcd the digestive organs of his female
prcceptrcss. The sChOomarm was ever
afterwards afflicted with chronic dyspepsia.
the effect of this cutting rcprOOf After
this occurrence the Board Of Education at
Mad Mule Flat were unable 10 procure any
more school-manns. So, little Barnc,
education was for time neglected. although
he managed 10 keep himself i'm practice bv
payfully shooting two Of his little brothers
who were thereby manned for life. Pclcg
Haddam kept school AT Bull Tail Gulch
The interesting little Barney was sent to
Mr.. Hladdam's seminary. When Mr. Had
dam heard that he was 10 be patroniZcd by
the youthful McBriar, he made his will and
had his life insured. "Thc wise man fore
seeth evil, and hidcth himself but the sim
pie pass ON and are punished Pclcg Had
dam next provided himself with "a double
hsrelled shotgun. The Juvenile McBriar
heard of the military preparations of his
future preceptor with GOODNESS, merely re-
marking, 'I'll get him yet "
1t was a bright May morning i'm June.
Peleg Iladdam was running his school under
full head Of steam. Suddenly he detected
the sanguinary Mc3rar reading the "Iif"
Of Sixteen Strnged Jack 90 Give me that
book, you, sir, ~ said Pelcg Haddam 10
Barney McBriar. 81 won't Pclcg Had
dam snatchcd the saffron colorcd volume
from his grasp. In an instant little Barney
jerkcd out his siX-shootcr and blew of Mr..
Haddam's head. The school being with
out head Immediately broke up. IIaddam
was Inferred along with the school marm.
and the unfortunate pedantic couple form
ed nucleus for Barney Mc3riar's cemetery.
Public opinion was principally ON the side
Of the gallant Mcliriar He became an
object of interest and sympathy, and hence
forth was no longer regarded 10y his elders
as child. The Board of Education expcr-
fenced great difficulty in getting another
target for Barney, as Bull Tail Flat was
avoided by all paripatctic pcdagOgucs. At
length discharged convict stravrd into
camp, and unaware Of the risk lac ran was
induced 10 take the school ~ thirty dollars
a month and board around
The discharged convict prccCpiDr com
planning one morning that hc was obliged
10 sleep, while boarding in q Dutch family
along with four of his pupils, Barney Nc
Brar, who allowed mo- one 20 abuse the
inhabitants Of the Flat save himself. "cool-
ly blew the top OF the convict's head of
He then gave himself mp to the authorities.
Forty six Of the leading and influential citi-
Zens Of the town at once offered tO give
bail for Barney Mc}rar. The day Of trial
came. The Court, after sentencing
Gin Hop, q Chinaman, to two years i'm
prisonment at San Quentin, for stealing u
pair OF boots, called the case Of the People
VS.. McBriar McBriar marched proudly
into the court room. The trial lasted four
hours. Forty or fifty witnesses testified
favOrably az 10 the moral character Of the
defendant The jury were ont five min
utes, and returned a verdict of "NOt Gull
ty.' The court then adjourned, and every
body got drunk Many young men rccs-
Oned that night as the proudcst period OBJ
their existence, when they were fortunate
enough 10 be- introduced to Mr. NcBinr
and take him by the hand flc was ue
lion Of the day, and after killing couple
Of strangers that night, left thc next morn
ing, attended by large coucoursc of
friends
Six years had elapsed Barney McBnar
and his friend McShoot were seated smok.
ing ON the piazza Of the Magnolia Hotel
Barney was regarding with an obscryant
eye, his cemetery ON The hillside, which had
increased considerably iu size, and was laid
ont in a neat and tasteful manner Occa.
siOnally a citizen Of the Flat, minus an arm.
nose an car, or leg, hWpod past, The
linping evidence of Barney pistOlary skill
Barney had been reading Naltnus on popu-
latiOn That morning aud felt that some
thing should hc done Co prcSout the fright
ful increase of the human race Moreover
he had killed mo- one for three days Ills
conscience troubled him There's one
grave needed 90 make the number even on
tic left hand row of the tmrd plat of my
cemetery, said MCBriar. ''l ON mean thc
strangers department. said McShoot
"McBrarwOod' was laid ont boo four scp5r
ate plats One for politicians one for
strangers one ior schoolmastcrs nnd one