Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1879-02-13
Miscellaneous Items.

When is man thinner than shinglea
When he IS a shaving.
There is more active fun in an ounce
of kitten than in ton Of elephant.
In the bright lexicon of the modern
farmer there is no such word as fail. ALI
the threshing is done by machinery.
"Soon's the ice gifts a foot thicker then
I'll have foot less further to fall" he
unused as he got up from the last one.
The dalry-maid pensively MIXED the goat,
And pouting she paused to mutter;
81 wish you brute, you would turn to milk"
And the animal turned to butt her.
A correspondent explains Why he
hadn't written before by saying he could
not ''get money enough together tc buy
postal card.
Charles Lamb. when little boy, walk
ing with his sister in churchyard, and
reading the cpitaphs, said to her: MARY
where's all the naughty people buried?'
A New York dealer announces for the
holidays an interesting musical instru-
ment which will "scare the cats, drive
away the rats and set the old folks fran
tic.
We know that the brute sees the sun
set; but does it feel its pensivenessi--
Joseph Cook 1t does not, if in the habit
of having its hay about that time.--Detrou
Free Press
Eight young Cinnamon are attending
school in Phillips Academy in Andover,
Mass. III the same school there are
twenty-five sons of ministers and four sons
of missionaries.
A 11o kol
the merits Of single speech. All he
said was, "Fellow-countrymen, follow me
to yonder refreshmenr saloon.''
The best anti-fat remedy we know of
is trying to carve up a chunk of hard
wood with Ratchet that was original
ly cut out for hammer.
There are three lights. First, the sun;
second, the moon, and third, ourselves;
and the greatest of these, in our iudg-
ment, is ourselves.
"Lufe God abufe all, and vi NEIGHBOUR
as yiself," is the inscription yet to be
seen upon the front of the house in Ed
inburgh in which John Knox lived and
died.
Paper teeth are new invention in
Germany, and number Of specimens
were displayed at the late paper exhibit
ton in Berlin. They are warranted fully
as durable as any other teeth.
The editor of the Hackensack Repub-
lican went to call on his girl, he saw on
the front steps sign which said, beware
of the paint" He went away 81 Ching, 81
never before knew that she painted
A brick fell froaa a scaffold on the
s>f
peanut shells anoder way up dere, won't
yer9" was the darkey's advice, as he
scratched his wool.
The patient boy. He went to neigh
boris house for cup of sour milk. 81
haven't anything but sweet milk
said the woman pettishly. an wait till
it sours," said the obliging youth, sinking
into chair.
OF truth, a home without q girl is
only half blessed: it is an orchard with
out blossoms, and a spring without song
A house full Of sons is like Lebanon with
its cedars; but daughters by the freside
are like roses ia Sharon.
Julius, what are you looking at that tori
You can't read.' "Go away" cried the
other, Indignantly" guess can read; is
big enough for dat" Big enough! !" re.
torted the other scornfully, ''dat amt
muffin A cows big enuff to catch mice,
but she can't.
A little shaver, going on an errand,
met an acquaintance. to whom he pro-
pounded the following conundrum:
"WhY am 1 like penny?" The other
fellow gave it up. Il ana like penny
said the little man, "because I am one
sent" And he went his way.
"Now you Hamerican gents" said the
master of ceremonies at Halifax to
party of American visitors, "afore you
are introduced to is hexcellency an er
'ighness there's a few rules to be hobserv-
ed. Don't expectorate hon the carpet
has you're in the 'abit of doing at 'ome,
you know, and don't keep your 'ats on,
as you Railways do in Hamerica. And no
revolv.rs nor bowie-knives is hallowed
to be drawed in the presence of is hex
cellency an 'er royal 'ighness, which is
what you're adding of in congress
continually. An you'll walk in forwards
an you won't think of shaking lands with
'er royal fghness nor even with lis hex
cellency nor hof course you won't .has.-
ress 'im as cold hoss"' nor "ola sardine,'
as hif you was a talkin' to you're presi-
dent, you know. You simply bow an
hassume latitude of reverence, 80
far as you know low, and then retire
backwards out of the royal presence"