The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1879-07-04
miscellaneous.
Working Both Ways.

When Horatio Flipper and his bosom frient
Josiah Clemmens, on the same day, in the sam,
church married Augusta Lawton and he
dearest friend, Anathusia Meakim, contrac
was made between the two couples-a con
tract entirely Independent of that which il
the eye of the law they had made when cacl
answered 81 will, )" in reply to somewhat in
quisitive question put by the clergyman in re
| gard to their future intentions as to support
ing, loving and honoring each other. 1t was
| this: They bound themselves that if one fami
ly had a son and the other daughter, thai
son and daughter when they arrived at thu
proper age should become man and wife
There was nothing so novel or original in
such an agreement; if there had been the par
ties to the contract would never have made it
for they were neither novel nor original il
anything-they were simply maudlin with ro
nance, and this covenant was merely the eff
feet of which strict attention to novels, love
tales and plays was the cause.
So much by the way ofprologue. Now fol
our story.
Flipper and Clcmmens had died full of years
and govt and rheumatism, and left each 9
large fortune to his wife They had each left
as well a child-Flipper daughter named
Kitty, Clemmens son named Richard, other
wise Dick. The old men had forgotten long
before their deaths all about their agreement
on their widding day. But not so with theil
mothers. They had been corresponding the
last five years about nothing else. The chill
dren had now reached their majority, and the
mothers were anxious for the consummatior
of the plan.
"Mother," said Dick at the breakfast table
| "There is no use urging that girl Kitty's suit
for will never marry her"
GLOW do you know, my son? You have
not seen her for over twelve years, and you
might be delighted with her." returned Mrs
| Clemmens, coaXingly.
a know | shouldn't" Dick said "She
was rcd-hcaded abomination when she
was a child, and Pm certain she is the same
| now"
80 Richard"
Gwen if she was handsome as IIebe,
wouldn't marry her. I'd feel Disguised the
moment | met her, and so would she if she
| had any sense. We'd be introduced we'd
look at each other, and say to ourselves: And
this is the person I've got to marry, and then
we would hate each other"
| "Well, it seems to me, Dick, that you might
at least wait until you do see each other before
you make up your mind. This is too bad,
whined Mrs. Clemmens, wiping her eyes with
| a napkin, and not discovering her mistake un.
| til she rubbed some mustard into her blue orbs
which occasioncd the use of her handkerchief
in good earnest-"just when | thought | had
such good news for you"
| "What is the news"
She's coming here"
"Who, Kitty Flipper?"
| Eyes. | received Il letter this morning from
her mother, saying Kitty would START in a day
or two"
"Oh my ~ groancd Dick. "You must stop
her" he said seriously "lf she comes, go
know what she'll be little stuck up mink
full of French airs she acquired by studying
abroad for twelve years. She'll say Mon
DieU,' and 'ma ,t0i,' and she'll talk about hel
naicete, and her gttuchere and her chic; shell
speak bad French in the present tense, indie
alive mood, of the first conjunction, and shell
commence all her questions with 'Eskcr,' and
then stick like the young man at the Veneer
ings' party. | shan't see her, that's settled
Write to Mrs Flipper (mellitluous appellation
and say we are going on visit and we don't
| know when we will return; or, better go To
town, see Mrs. F., explain openly that vii
never marry a Frenchitied wax-doll, but that
want wife who knows how to keep house
in order, can cook, preserve, sweep, bake, darn
sew, mend, dust, and, as the advertisements
say, make herself generally useful. In short
II woman like my respected ma; and, so that
you can kill two birds with one stone, find 9
cook who can cook and fetch her back with
you"
An idea seemed to strike Mrs Clemmens, and
she answered gaily; "Well, Dick, everything
| is for the best. If you won't marry her you
won't, so I'll do as you say"
After breakfast she made hurried toilet
and took the first train to the city. Toward
evening she returned with just as pretty a lit
tle'piece of feminity as Dick had ever seer
withal The dainty, curly haired little WON
an straight way went to the kitchen, and theI
Mrs Clemmens informed her son that she haC
made matters all right with Mrs Flipper, and
that the pretty conglomeration of muslin
curls, pink and white, was new cook she hat
engaged.
"Ah p cries the intelligent reader, "you can
not deceive us the pink and white little cook
is Kitty Flipper, and the three women have
formed plan to catch Dick unaware" Ant
the intelligent readers are correct, but we vow
and declare we never had any attention O.
shrouding the dear girl in mystery and prac
Using deception. If we had-but this is ego
tism and digress. With the advent ofthe new
cook came luxuries such as had never becnscer
on the Clemmens table before. The cuisine Ia.
Dicks Kitty Flipper might say was perfect
Richards stockings was mended SO neatly
that an old pair of socks were better than {
new pair. His shirts, too, were washed ant
ironed so perfectly that their whteness an(
gloss caused envy in the bosoms of all hii
male friends.
But another change had been effected by
the cook. The pink-and-white young lady
whom the hottest fire never made red ant
white, was accustomed to take seat in thu
sitting room in the evening and attend to he
sewing-the kitchen being locked up-to saw
gas, Mrs. Clemmens said, and Richard re
manned home at nights something unusual fo
him.
In fact Dick was in love with the cook, ant
he found a hundred excuses day to go to TIN
kitchen to have word or two with the curly
headed little woman.
! AT first she was very cold to him, but grad
ually, as she saw his respect increase will
his love, the ice of her reserve began t.
melt under the warmth of his passion
and the young man was correspondingly hap
lpy.