The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1879-05-16

"But there's one thing about him." sale
milford, 'that | don't believe has ever beer
published, apractical joke, of course" Wher
Frank Pierce was President, JEFF Davis, ther
Secretary of War, issued general invitation
to officers of the army who were skillfu
draughtsmen, TO send in suggestions for the
new uniform which it had been decided tC
adopt. One such invitation was sent to eacl
officer Lieut. Derby was ever ready witt
his pen-a real ingenious artist. In reply he
sent to the War Department design for O
new uniform-or rather peculiar addition
to the old uniform-the amendment consist
ing merely of ring attached to the seat Of
of the trousers of each private soldier. Each
officer was to carry instead of a sword long
| pole, with u hook in the end like shepherds
crook. The pole and the ring enabled Off
GERS to keep privates from running away in
! battle. Fugitives could easily be caught by
| it and brought back. Stragglers could be
| kept in line. Moreover, the ring would be
very useful in the cavalry service to fasten
soldiers to the saddle to prevent them from
| falling off; and in the artillery service the
| rings were to be used for draught purposes
in the absence ofmulcs. These specifications
were accompanied by the most grotesque pic.
lures representing officers hauling back cow
| ardly recruits by the serviceable ring, cavalry
| securely fastened to the top of their steeds by
the same device, and artillerymen harnessed
to cannon, drawing them through narrow
detiles or up an ACTIVITY inaccessible to mules
by cables attached to the ring.
On another sheet of bristol-board was an il.
lustraton in gaudy colors of"Derbys Rotary
Mule Howitzer," accompanied by the follow
ing description: upon the back of a young
and vigorous mule strap mountain howitzer
the muzzle pointing towards the tail; "A SINH
lar piece of ordnance is fastened with iron
bands under the animals abdomen, the muz-
Zle aimed between his forelegs to the 'front.'
There are four gunners-two to each piece
and persuader,' as he is called, whose bust,
ness it is to persuade the mule to stand firm
and not to retreat, by stutfing him with oats
after each discharge with tin sausage-stutfer.
When Indians or other legitimate game APP
pear in view the mule is by crank move
ment on the tail limbered to the front. 1t
don't make any difference which way the
mule faces land here is where my patent
comes in) one gun is always pointing to the
front At the command "Firel" the top how
itzer is discharged. The rccoil throws the
mule on his back, bringing the second gun
into position. This is discharged, which
suddenly throws the mule to his feet again,
when the gunners swab out the mules throat
with hay, and reload" The accompanying
illustrations lin brown, red, blue and gold, are
still on the file in the War Department. rep
resenting the rotary mule in seven different at
titudes, looking contented and happy all the
time
This was felt to be outrageous audacity on
the part of subaltern. The clerks in the
War Department laughed at the funny letter
immoderately, but their superiors looked Sc
rous Jefferson Davis the head of the De-
partment, was terribly indignant, and resolved
to defend his wounded dignity. Charges and
specifications were drawn up against Lieu
tenant Derby, and the officers were actually
named for his court martial, when William X.
Marcy, Secretary of State, a man of more
sense and self poise, said to the irate Secre-
tary: Nov, see here, General Davis, don't
do it. This Derby has undoubtedly super
lluous development of humor. But he is
sTewd and ingenious and really II fine
draughtsman. He has valuable qualities
You can organize II court that can convict
him, but you will be the butt of ridcule ON
account of it, all your life. Better file the
suggestions of the crook and ring and the
lively rotary mule and say nothing" And he
did. Derby died (ofsuicide) a few years after
wards, but think he saw the inside of an in
sane asylum frst.-COr. IndidndlOhS J0urnaL.