The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1879-08-23
VARIETY.

Charles Lamb once said that the greatest pleas
ure be knew was to do a good action by stealth
and to have it found out by accident.
There is only one thing about kat that love,
and that is, they are very chcap-a little money
well invested goes great way in kats.-Josh BIZ
hngs.
The climax Of absent-mindedness- suppose
that you have left your watch at home, and pull
il out Oi your pocket to sec if you have time go
back and get il.
Upon the adjournment of Congress, Alec.
Stephens. il s said, crawled into enveIop and
franked himself hOme.-PhiLadeiphia Chronicle
Herald
vising Christians to hire steamer, give Sun
day excursion, and then suddenly open religious
services on the crowd Of Ioafers. They must
either listen or jump overheard.
We would not dare to say that religious peo-
pie ever become intoxicated, but something with
In compels as TO suggest that many OF them are
too much given to indulgence in the - spirit of
whine"
{" Mistakes in Courtship," was the subject
OF q clergyman's discourse quite reeently. Ii
seems to us that it isn't so much in courtship
that people make mistakes. COurting's all right
It's the sad awakening from the rosy dream that
hurts. MoraI-Keep on courting.
A country editor in Michigan thus bids fare
well to bis readers, his paper having succumbed
TO an adverse fate; - GoOd-by T-d the bell
gently. This is our last kick H>-IdIe us with
care Lower gently to rest Ne die natural
death; the wolf is at our dcof! Bury under
rosebush listen to - siocking bird ~
Summer tszs advanced upon us like smiling
fairy. all its opulent charms greet US at every
r-r-sss. Ii has brought many thoughts and
. iancies which cheer our souls and make US feel
better The main reason for our happiness is
however, that no one has yet seen fit to perpe-
trate a watermelon joke.
When you used to 60 courting how nice you
looked Ab, your eye was bright, your step
was light, and you just put on the very best look
you could Do you know that il is insufeTable
egotism in you 70 suppose that a woman is going
to love you always, looking as bad you can
Think of it Any woman on earth will be true
to you forever when you do your level best.-BO6
IngeTsOH-
&roses-" Did you, AlgernOn did you2 That
was wise in you TO hide it among the roses.
Now, il you had covered IL up in a nest OF cab
bages, when you came to pick il out again you
could not have told, for the life of you, which
head was yours. Stick to the roses, old boy,
every tims.-BurhngtOn HalOkeye.
A sad event bas occurred in the family of aster-
oids. Hilda is lost One Of the nearly two hun
dred members OF the planetary sisterhOOd revoIv-
ing between Mars and Jupiter can no longer be
found in her accustomed celestial haunts. 1t is
not known whether Hilda has eOped with her
travelling Pinafore troop. We have predicted
time and again that II Hilda's parents didn't
keep a close eye upon her, prevent her from GO
ing out nights size would give them trouble. Be
ing a revolver, il is not strange that she has
gone Of.''-N0rTiSf0I1R Herald.
II requires n certain capacity for good in your
self to appreciate the good in others and the
converse is unhappily true also, for IL you con-
stantIy see the bad in others you may safely con-
clude that you are not exactly what you ought to
be yourself.
There is nothing on the planet more solemnly
solemn than conventional party in England. It
is like an assemblage of autOmatons. The ut
most gravity prevails. and the dOcorum is import
ed expressly from the frigid zone. distinguish
ed dfplomatist Of America, who resided 10 Eng
land was once taken to see Nine. Tussaud's gal
lerv Of worthies in wax, and on being asked what
he thought Of it replied, with quaint out sharp
snrcasm, =. Well, il struck me being very like
any ordinary English party"
Little Harry s.. of five summers, who had been
exalted from girls to boys habiliments, recently
appeared at school arrayed in the former, when
his teacher kindly remarked, 80 Children, l hope
that none Of you will tease Harry, nor speak of
his dress, as his mother has sent him in it to
punish him for being naughty, and he feels morti-
led and sorry." Thereupon Master Harry quick
" mounted his seat, and repudiating the teacher s
Kind profection, extended his clenched fist, and
haran1ued his class thus a. If any girl says any
thing about It, I'll say nothing but if any boy
dces I'll knock bis head OF, - and the IRE OF his
ewes bespoke his selfrsliance. .-BosfoR Trans
rvIrf.