The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1879-02-06

circumstance happened. It had arrived
In apparently admirable condition; we hai
said to ourselves, "For once, We hav'
really got useful present out Of cd Web
FOOT" but directly the cook began I,
pluck it was not "the last feather,
mind that did it, but the frst-it began
to smell beyond all power of words to ex
press. We talk Of knocking one down
with feather, in metaphorical and 20
etical way. but one of our cy gnet's feather
was literally enough to do it. Why i
was 30 do not pretend to explain. II il
possible that, just as gentleman of color
though man and brother, and even Z
clerk in holy orders, has unquestionably &
certain-wel-an aroma about him. sucf
ss i am thankful to say) does not belonG
to You or me, so this black cygnet had az
odor that surely never belonged to any
other race but his own. One has heard Of
seal birds being strong" and ''6shy," bul
those are feeble adjectives to express the
exhalations from that bird. As to making
anything Of his feathers except bonfire
it was not to be thought Of. Of course
our kitchen could not accommodate the
cygent, which consequently went to the
bakers, whereby we became in a manner
public benefactors. One has heard how q
knife that has cut an ortolan is thought
highly OF as giving a rare favor TO quite
g. common dish. Well, our bird gave a
flavor (so the baker told mel to everything
that he cooked that day. from a joint Of
beef to an apple-pie. They had, as one
may say, the impression of our signet up.
ON them-and it was very strong one.
When it came to thetable every one rose and
fled, and all the windows had to be thrown
open, though it was far from summer
weather. | buried it in the back garden
with the coal scoop, with my own hands,
and there 1t remains to this day, let US
hope deodorized; but if SO it will be a
great confederation ofthe moule, or mould,
theory, and of earth as a disinfectant gen.
orally. As to our house. if you had broken
gallon jar Of altar of roses IN it, it could
not have been more thoroughly lmpreg-
nated-only cygnent, do assure you, is
not altar of roses.
Now, the honest lawyer whom have in
my mind pooh-poohs that terrible gift as
nothing surprising. He says you must
have presents from abroad. and from dis
tant and out-of-the-way places. to appre.
clate their merits. One of his grown-up
and grateful orphans-whom he had laid
under eternal obligations by procuring him
a divorce on the plea of 'infancy"-once
sent him a live dromedary (unpaid) from
the upper Nile. 1.-The hump" he says,
was by all accounts great delacacy, but
could not kill so huge a creature for its
hump, nor, if had done it, should have
known how to dispose of the rest of the
carcass. As to using it as a means Of
locomotion, that was not to be thought of;
as professional man | could never have
ridden the creature to my office, and even
in the park he would probably be objected
to, so in the end gave him to the Zoolog-
ical Gardens, the committee of which
would have made me a fellow of the
society, only | happened to be so already.
That was a sad business.
Then again there were the alligator
pears THAT is not their real name, but it is
what the London fruiterers call them, who
sometimes exhibit them.at their shops)
They come from Madeira, and, hear, are
thought very highly of by the islanders.
One Of my orphans, who is resident there
on account of delacacy of the chest, sent
me one winter half hundred of them.
He said they were peculiar, which !
could have believed without that state
ment from the context of his letter, for he
added. they should be eaten with bread
and-butter and pepper They looked like
huge green figs-very ripe.
When you cut into them there was an
enormous kernel, hard as stone, lying in
\ mash or squash of what looked like
black and yellow cream. TWAS this cream
We were expected to spread upon our
bread-and butter like marrow. Hunger.
they say, will tame hon: but give me
the alternative of human flesh or an ALI.
gator pear, and should prefer the former
There was one virtue about these pears.
which, although a negative one, I
have learned to appreciate in gifts of food
appearance of being in an advanced state
of decomposition, it did not smell.
The most terrible present. however. ]
have ever received was from the West
Indies. II came from an orphan, who had
greatly prospered in the world, and who,
himself to be under greet obliga-
tions to me, must have wished to pay them
off at one swoop. He sent me a packing
case Of goods so large that it might have
come from the West Indies alone like the
Cleopatra Needle) without being shipped
at all. For some reason unknown to me
lit was too large. perhaps. to be got out OF
the gates), it was stopped and opened at
the docks, the authorities of which sent
me the following official memorandum:
"'Several articles have been consigned
to you from st. Hits, W. l., which await
here your esteemed orders; they comprise
a cask Clargel OF pine-apples. and there
live turtle, one of them dead. Another
scenes to be in an ailing state. ..e would
recommend your sending for the above.
The dock dues are AS per enclosed.
The last item was very considerable;
but one must not, thought |, look a gift
rask in the bunghole; and then the turtle
at a guinea pint would pay their own
expenses and those Of the pine apples too.
was partial to turtle and also to pine
apple, and the notion of the whole ami
mai being consigned to me in one case,
md Of cask large IN the other, hattered
ny sense of self-impoltance. II was only in
accordance with the fitness of things that
/ man like me should be supplied with
'uch dainties Wholesale. / let my clients
.un loose tina. morning and took a hanson
% the docks myself. in order to inspect nv
had some difficulty in finding
{. by-the-bye, when ! reached the docks:
I II nut oHis tHt INV, itt me tel you.
which is hedged about with forms and
and requires lubrication-
golden ointment-for its wheels. Howev-
r. | found it at last; a portion Of 1.-THE
lead tur.le-I could have id ,ntiied at
ONE distance. Mo- had also died by that
ime, but was comparatively fresh. though |
Il course uneatable. The third turtle was
he most diminutlve Of its kind | ever
aw in my life. Even at guinea pint.
lidn't think its soup could have been
worth more than seven-and-six I'll
vas more like one Of those tortoises that
re sold in the streets for ninepence apiece |
iowever, though small thing, il was my |
'wn. and ! brought IL TO my Office in the |
on my lap. to the establishment |
4 the neighborhood. which is legal
The pineapples directed to be sent |
ZONE by parcels delivery. but the clerk Of |
he docks said Not :, it'll have N M hr \