The Portland daily press., 1879-01-18
A Medieval Mistake.
IErom RaloraYia /
BY JAMES PAYN.

BY JAMES PAYN.
From Belgravia.l
But few of my readers can, [ conclude, re
member the Young England days, when
there was an attempt made to revive in this
country some fine old medieval customs.
Certain hgh.souled individuals, VINO shall be
nameless though some of them have made
great names for themselves in the interim
under very unexpected aud different circum-
stances-conceived that they had actually
put their fingers upon that illusory date, "the
good old times" and would fain have gal
vanized them back to life.
"They revived all usages thoroughly worn out,
The souls of them fumed forth sthe hearts of them
torn ont
and even got up tournament. A lew old
fellows still remember it, with poor Theodore
Hooks joke upon Sir Campbell of Saddel,
who. more by good luck than good guidance
OF his adversary's lance, was somehow
thrown out of his family seat.' 1t was the
renaissance PERIOD" of yule logs and happy
tenantlies-whose bread, however, was not
cheap-and it was hoped by certain noble
enthusiasts that c0ndescension and patron
agelwould lose all unpleasantness, and indeed
tail to be recognized, under the guise OF
paternal feudalism.
Ii was tduuIe, Vi course, no one can re
vive the mastodon"-a circumstance for
which those who, like myself, find mere bulls
sufficiently alarming, have reason to be grate-
full. But though the scheme fairly glittered
with tinsel and gewgaws, and was much too
gorgeously advertised, it was not all pinch
beck; or at all events some OF those who be-
lieved in it had about them the ring of the
true metal-abeit little cracked.
Among the nobility, and In certain great
houses in the country, hospitality was re-
vived upon the most extensive scale, and in
some cases so splenddly that it made almost
as great hole in the estates Of the family as
though it had taken to mining. Oxen were
roasted whole where formerly the guest only
got his mutton outlet and instead of a kitch-
en- range there was bonfire.
Frank Selwyn, young medical friend of
mine at that Gime, used to speak ia high
terms of this Medieval Revival, because he
foresaw that one of its consequences, if gen.
orally carried out, would be universal indi-
geston.
With plenty, however, it was held neces-
sary for historical consistency to mix dis
comfort.
1t was said that the Marquis of Miilefeurs
(who had the best Norman blood in York
shire) had discarded gas and even COLA, and
had his dining room lit by men in steel with
an ivory couch between the blankets and
without night gear, because that was the
mode in the middle ages.
Frank Selwyd, however, knew nothing Of
the doiDgs of these great people, except by
report. He was of good family, but they
were not good enough to indulge in these
eccentricities without the risk of being shut
up as lunatics; and even il he had the taste
that way himself, he wanted his money for
very modern use indeed-namely. to buy a
practice with in London. At six and-twenty
he purchased partnership with old Doctor
Dalrymple, OF Brown street, Park lane, who
attended some of the first folks in the land,
and never took fee from an untitled person
without being fully persuaded that they could
afford IL. His notions were of the old school
he dosed and bled his noble patients till they
were like "the ruined shells of hollow tow
ers," and then he built them up again and
filled them out with beefsteaks and port wine.
He had, indeed, no fancy for this new FASH
ion of old fashions-no doctor is fanatic, it
may be observed, In anything but medicine
or surgery but as some of his clients were
addicted to it, he looked upon the weakness
with very charitable eye.
cit is not enough nowadays to take things
as we find them, my dear Selwyn," he would
say spontaneously, "but as we used to find
them. Ii patient thinks fumigation of
boiled hollyhock and tennel will do him good
because his ancestor in King Johns time
used it, let him be fumigated. Never cross a
patient in little things. Lord Vavasour
thinks there is nothing like gold for his sys-
TEN, because Galen speaks of it as fine old
remedy. In general way that is, to the
general practitioner-this might be danger
Gus, because, once in the system, gold re-
mains there, and one must wait for the post.
mortem to get it out again; but with our
patients we always see our money back.
Therefore, give them gold"
Whatever Selwyn may have thought of
DR.. Dalrymple professionally he had no doubt
of his wisdom as man of the world, and
was quite willing to profit by it. Moreover,
his own conscience was not burdened by
adopting these abnormal modes of treatment,
since his practice lay among the middle class
of patients-who were rarely bitten by this
mania-while his principal kept the bigwigs
tor himself. But on one occasion DR.. Dali
rymple fell victim to the very malady which
it was his chief office to cure in others-the
govt. 1t was his own impression that he
caught it of some of his patients. He felt
certain, living so moderately as be did, with
only glass or two of Madeira at luncheon,
and one bottle of wholesome port without
headache In hOgshead of it"-after din
ner, that he couldn't have got it in any other
way. Claret, indeed, he took with his meals
in considerable quantities, and his feeding
was rather extensive, considering that he
never set foot on the ground save from his
brougham to his clients door; but then he
never touched beer because he didn't like it,
and what business has man to get the govt
who does not touch beer?
His reasoning was sound enough, no
doubt; but still he got the govt, and in both
feet. And while in that AFFECT condition an
express arrived from Lord De Bracy, oil
DoDjon Towers, to request his immediate at.
tendance. 1t was, of course, impossible that
he could move. 80 be sent for Selwyn.
"My dear FRIEND" he said, "you must be
off into Kent at once; his lordship has the
rheum.''
''The what? ?" inquired Selwyn.
"Oh, forgot; you don't know his pecul
iarities. Lord De Bracy is about twenty.foul
generations behind his time. He ought tc
have been born-I mean, to have 'flourshed'
CHATS the word jim the thirteenth century
It is generally the young people who take up
with these notions, but there is no fool like
an old fool, and De Bracy has been bitten by
them. You will find everything about him
but his daughters-for they're young and
charming-mediaval. And whatever you do
take care that you keep grave face. YOU'RE
capital fellow, you know, but little-shal
Say ohit1icA9 Ab bVDJOu 4OWCIo shlLLlSu-
ness would be fatal. If you make joke
down there, it must be in Latin and not in
good Latin either, it must be monkish."
Sand will Lord De Bracy really talk about
rheum, sir % inquired Selwyn.
"Good heavens of course he will. You
will surely be serious when prescribing fol
him. I take it for granted that professional
feeling will enable you to withstand any
temptation of that sort. I[e is the proudest
man in England, the very proudest."
"My dear DR.. Dalrymple, not a smile shall
pass my lips" said Selwyn, confidently.
f'Pass them? I hope not, nor ever reach
them. I am afraid you are too young, my
dear sir; tremble for what may happen.
Upon my life, if you were to laugh at him,
don't know to what length he might not 60,
He believes be has feudal rights, and may
hang you. At all events, we would lose our
best patient"
Indeed, sir" pleaded Selwyn: "you may
rely on me, will be as cautious as though ]
were brushing flies off sleeping Venus"
Heavens, what simileH' murmured the
Doctor; she is certainly very young. How
ever, we must take our chance"
II had better start at once, l suppcse?'
said the junior partner.
rtoip T bo1a orJarod Tho o6