Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-11-27
sips of Fun.

Dy DOy.
The rag-picker is the rooter.
beggar turn-up of tramp king
dom.
Call 2OO-pound girl "Iittle
Rosebud" if you want TO please
her.
Unlike the flea, when you
put your finger on a~hornet, he
is there.
Misers, as a class, must have
very poor memories. They ale
for getting.
Some of our subscribers are
trying to Kill us with kindness
--unrcmitting kindness.
"l'll take your part" " as the
dog said, when he robbed the
CAT of her portion of the dinner.
"Doctor, examine my tongue .
said she, sand tell me what /
need" Crest, madam ;complete
rest"
"We've moved into our own
house now," said Spilkins, "and
have quit the pay-rent-al roof
forever"
An old maid, speaking of
marriage, says it's like any other
disease-whiIc there is life there
is hope.
1t is a malicious woman who
will slyly put long hairs on a
mans coat just to make his wife
jealous. M d
There are times when none of
lis would be found at home to
callers were it not for the fear
of being found out.
The under dog in a fight de-
serves no pity. He will pitch
into a smaller dog than himself
The moment he gets a chance.
IA young man, hearing that
"Silence gives consent," said
that he wished Old Silence was
his girls father. But we don't
know what he meant.
The girl who will cut a hole
through her glove finger in or
der to display gaudy ring,may
be considered mentally about
25 per cent. below par.
No American is ever guilty
of meeting another without ask
ing: "Well, how's trade?" And
it doesn't matter if one of them
is a hangman.
= Sim glad that this coffee don't
owe me anything" said Brown,
a 5oarder, at the breakfast table.
"Why?' said Smith. Because
| don't bclieye' it would ever
settle"
We continually prate of
"facts and figures but some of
the most superb figures are not
facts. In fact they are nothing
save cotton padding and whale
bone.
1t puts a man on bis mettle to
say there. is a good deal of steal
about him. He doesn't know
whether it is irony or not, al
though. he may be lead to be-
lieye that il is.
The friends Of a Texas man
were simply advised that his
death was caused by his sus-
pendcrs. 1t wasn't mentioned
that his "suspendcrs" were mem
bers of a yigilant committee.
After you've tried. il a few
times you'll find it ont that it
ism juslicious to give the man
across The table the point OF an
excruciatingly funny story just
as he has filed his mouth with
coffee.
Horses seem to require more
water now than during the sum-
mer, and IFS Il poor ncighbor-
hood that has no saloon with a
pump in front. Somehow the
like To drink in front Of
a saloon.
The colored brother in a Vir-
gina church hit the nail on the
heat! when he prayed at the
close Of the white brothers SER
mon: "Lord, bress the bruddcr
to whom we has listened to so
patiently"
There would be fcwcraccidents
in this world If men would take
their wives advice, for we new
cr yet heard Of a man'. head be-
ing blown off with u shotgun, or
his being rnn over BY the cars,
but what his wife said she had
often toll him to keep away
from the railroad track or never
to touch gun.
The poor girl bad endeavored
for weeks to get rid Of her bow
legged suitor, and Sunday night,
as the young man was seen per-
ambnIating towards the honse,