The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1879-12-20
WHIES: WISE HND WIVFY.

Observation-Disclosures.
Bees cell their own honey.
-Coaled cuts-Broiled steaks.
Millions in 1.-THE sub-treasury.
Retired from the "servicc A broken
tca-cup.
-Writs of error--Loyc letters to another
mans wife
"A tight squeezc-Tha embrace of Il
drunken man.
Hens are very orderly creatures. 1t is
seldom that they mislay an egg.
-" engaged for this SET" said the
hen to the rooster rs she went clucking
away.
There is nothing effective in bringing
man up to the scratch as a healthy and
high spirited flea.
1t is all very we'll TO be a promising
youth, but tic hart. part is to keep your
promise in after life.
Upon modest gravestone in Nincinnes
cemetery appears the plaintive Legend
" His neighbor played the cornet.
-Mirth should be the embroidery of the
conversation, not the web; and wit the or
narent of the mind, not the furniture.
Invocation Of Santa Claus: Know all
men by these presents that the children
must he made happy at least once y year
-Prccocious boy (munching the fruit Of
the date tree)-" Mamma, if | cat dates
enough, will grow up to be an almanac ~
There's mistaken Providence in some
things in this world. Last week Hood in
Colorado drowned $50 sheep and only one
dog.
-I.aadvilc has four churches and one
hundred and eight gambling houses, ana
some one wants to know how she can sup
port so many churches
Some men are born with ton of trCE-
BILE pressing down upon them, and other
men go through life trying to pick up all
the trouble they can find.
They say "a man is known by his as
sociates" OF course he is; Il man cant
associate with people for any length of time
without their knowing him.
Three sisters at Mansfield, Conn. have
married u father and his two sons, AL have
children, and folks are trying TO figure ont
their relationship one with another.
Two men started out to see who could
tell the biggest lie. No. commenced: y
wealthy country editor -. No > stopped
him right there and paid the forfeit
People are APP 10 be very generous with
what costs them nothing. Sidney Smith
once said that most men are ready to act
the good Samaritan, but without the oil and
twcpence.
He said to her: "The moon is always
Just the same, and yet / always find some
new beauty in it," She said to him: CTS
lust so with the circus" He bought tickets
for two
Texas boasts of a man born without \
brain. That's the kind OF man the ordinary
Congressman wants to read his speeches to.
Also the kind OF man that makes a good
many of them.
-Lcopard-skin mutfs are now the thing,
anu III OH IL tN lthSN IL - ltHINt
that leopard can change his spot (twenty
dollar Spot) from John Henry's pocket TO
the pocket of the furrier.
A young man Went into Il florists store
the other day to buy rosebud for his AFT
anced. Seventy-five cents was the price
asked. "Will it keep" inquired the
Young man. "Oh. yes long whie."-
Then keep it,
Small husband, who, whilst his wife is
away in the country, asserts his authority:
lit comes to this, cook, am the master Of
| the house or am | not ." Cook: Well,
you precious well know you amt when
Misses is at home"
-"There is nothing like settling down,
said retired merchant contdentialiy TO his
neighbor. "When l gave up business | set,
tied down, and found | had quite a com
Portable fortune. If | hal settled up
| shouldn't have had cent"
| A lady writes an Indignant note TO 4
contemporary, in which, with true rustic
| innocence, she expresses a belief that ed-
tors never so TO heaven. We thought even
country people knew that journalists never
went anywhere They don't get tsf.shanc".
They just sit up nights think ~ to dc
good, until the tops of the Z wea.
holes through their hair, -