Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-09-11
10 NA4RlsoHER CARL, Y

al TO NA1Al4GRlsoHHR CARL, . "a
a Roman ka.biss Nua4I,mab sa*1p ess.r.
ION CORES. Paris;Amerieau Registez. ~ 4z,.s
l.. upGke,aA fewlof the pour 4boire and
trinkgled hunters who swarm about the
hotels of Europe, this. particular beggaf
is not ashamed of his chosen calling; and,
unlike some of our American: beggars-
such as the late Beau Hickman-this
professional tramp does not boast of his
lineage. From childhood he has been
known simply as" Narrischer Catl," or
&c. Foolish Charles" From one of his
schoolmates I,learn that even as little
boy, he was vicious, tricky and "rattle.
headed" He was UP to all kinds of
malicious mischief. In early life he re:
solved upon two things: One was to
learn and do nothing good, and especially
no kind of work; the other resolve was
to make living by his wits" So soon
as his determination became known to
the honest, laborious and slow Nurem-
bergers, they naturally called him " Mar
FISCHER Carl" though not regarding him
as literally q fool. He is now about
thirty five years old, and this name has
stuck to him so far in life: and I am told
that he is proud of it, and he utilizes it
to the best advantage in his business. If
I did not believe him to be = far greater
knave than fool I certainly would not
give him my pen Photographic atten.
ton. One has to laugh at most of the
many ludicrous stories they hear of this
most ingenious and tricky mendicant.
Your space will allow me to mention
but few of his skilful ways. When
mere boy, he seems to have made up
his mind that the easiest way to obtain
aims was by being on hand on all occa-
sions when the sympathies were most
easily aroused-in domestic joys and
SORROWS, from the cradle to the grave.
He possesses very acute perceptive
powers and seems to know-by intuition
the class upon whom he can presume
to levy his contributions. 1t is all the
same to him whether hearts melt with
sympathy and call him "one of Gods
poor afflicted children" or whether he is
met with a kick and q cuff, 80 long as
the pennies are forthcoming. He has q
wonderfully correct knowledge of the
residence and members of all contrib
uting families: and, like our departed
Beau Hickman, he regards all such peo-
pie as his clients. he has the instincts
Of an animal in knowing where to go
and where not to. Personally, he is a
thin weaselfaced looking chap, and,
though grinning most of the time, his
looks betray the cunning of the fox. I
am told by those who have known
him the longest and watched his
career the closest that his effront-
cry and unblushing impudence is simply
boundless, and that his versatile talents |
are matches when in the legitimate !
pursuit of his calling. He said he kept
no books, though he has indexed in his
brain all the necessary points of bust
ness. He is constantly canvassing the
city and making calls Of oong1atulation
or coincidence, and making his asseas.
ments and collections. In the same hour
he is ready to be merry with those who
are merry or to weep with those who
weep. No man can be more methodicaL
No one of his numerous clients can die |
without his knowing of it at once; and,
dressed in mourning costume, with q
sprig of evergreen or q flower in hand,
he presents himself; and, if the corpse
was that of an adult, he finds great diff.
Guilty in controlling his grief sufficiently
to make it known to the family that life |
has no further charms for him since his
best and most generous friend has been
called away. It usually happens that
some member of the family is ready to |
recognize his claims" by giving him a |
mark or two to get him out of the house. |
If the ducats are not forthcoming, he |
takes up q position and looks az repulsive
as possible until he forces contribu-
ton, knowing full well that at such q
time no one will throw him out of
the window, or otherwise maltreat
him. The cemetery and morgue
are favorite resorts of this ghoul.
He is always posted AZ to the bodies
ready for the grave, and is on hand with
mourning emblems, flowers and tears.
he knows the stricken families who
make daily pilgrimages with fresh flow
ers to decorate the graves of their dear
departed, and not infrequently it hap
pens that they find him curled up like q
tailor upon the family tombstone, sigh
ing and sobbing over the cruel fate that
has deprived him of " the best heart and |
most liberal friend mortal man ever
had" His enemies say of him, that 30
soon as the real mourners have departed,
he steals the choicest flower or rose bud
and mounts another newly made grave
and awaits others whose heart and purse
strings may temporarily be loosened. On
the other hand, betrothals, weddings
and births give him an opportunity to
skirmish about with his aattering re-
marks and joyful greetings. He is one
of the first to tender his respectful con-
CALCULATIONS. Of course he spreads on
his fattery according as the subject will
bear it; and his judgment is said to be
unerring in these matters of taste, he
being q good judge of human nature,
especially of its weak sides.
A Chapter on SODA Water.
Wine is mocker, strong drink is
raging, but soda water maketh man to
be at peace in his innermost parts.
It sizzleth and foameth in the flagon
and the feeling thereof penetrateth even
unto the soles at ones feet, and doeth
one good to the top of his hair. :.
Oh, come let us sing new song unto
the sarsaparilla, let us rejoice in the
vanilla cream, likewise in the pineapple
that pleaseth the palate and the straw
berry that filleth the epiglotis with
exceeding joy.
Why doth the son of man 20 about
seeking those waters of life which doth
prevail naughtily against, the nostrils,
and .maketh one to think that there is q