The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1879-10-21
Sense and eNnrsense.


Bismarck is beginning to look old.
He is IS.
Mosquito bites develop a mans pluck.
He'll come to the scratch every time.
A dentist is said to be q man who
"spares no pains" to do his work well.
A rumor comes from Paris that bon
nets are to be worn on the head hereaf-
ter.
Queen Victoria recently decided on
the abolition of banged hair and high
heels at court. @
| Thousands or women have observed
that marriage means fewer excursion;
and less ice cream.
A man can be contented with little, nc
doubt. The difficulty is in finding Ou
how much that little is.
| A lie is like counterfeit bill 1t may
pass through great many hands, but il
will be found out at last.
There is Spanish proverh which
says: "When you choose wife shu
your eyes and command your soul t.
God" :tas
Just as soon as ladies' belts are mad
to look like surcingles, horses will de
mand change of fashion for them
selves.
| l never bad man cum to me for ad
vice, but before he got thru be had NOR
advice to offer than to ask for.-Josi
Billings.
About the first thing a savage does al
ter being converted by missionaries i
TO build peter house and buy locks 70
his doors. see
When he is twenty one the boy is sup
posed to have outgrown the switch, bu
that is just the age when q girl begin
to need one.
| Ranvalona, Queen of Madagascar
has issued proclamation to her sub
jects commanding them to send thei
children to school. faa a
"If there's no moonlight, will yov
meet me by gaslight, dearest Juliana2 ?
mo. Augustus, wont" replied she
"lm no gas meter"
SHOW old is the world2" is not
question of half the vital human inter
est to most men as to know the age o
the whisky they drink. m
At social gathering few days sine
the following toast was prposed ant
drank. "In ascending the hill of pros
perity may we never meet a friend"
The BARRIERS razor took hold of hi
beard with vengeance, when he looked
up and said, apologelically: "My dea
sir, came in to get shaved-not to ge
tooth pulled!" a9i
"My good woman" said an evaugeli
cal caller, shave you got the gospe
here?" "No, sir, we haven't" replied
the old crone, but they got it awfu
down to Memphis. +"
A Frenchman has invented writing BY
telegraph The ingenious invention re
produces actual handwriting al any dis
tance. The London Times attests as L
the truth Of this fact
| One of the ancient English nobility
had these words inscribed over his cas-
tie gate. They are worth copying fo
our own use se:-"They say. What dc
they say :? Let them say"
A person who had obtained free
railroad pass asked the ticket agent i
she could not embrace his wife "Prob
ably" the official answered. shut l pre-
fer to see her before promising positive
ly."
A man is always fool. II he b.
young, the world says when he is olde
he will know more; if he be older, i
says he is old enough to know bet
ter, and when he is old, it says the OLE
fools are the biggest fools.
A gentleman learned in the origin o
social customs we asked the meaning o
casting an old shoe after newly marri
ed couple, as they start on their trip
He said "To indicate that the chances
of matrimony are very slippery"
4
A bore once said to Jerrold, in ,
company which was discussing the mer
its of a certain piece Of music, "Tha
song, sir. always carrys me away" Th'
wit quiently turned to his friends anC
asked, "Wlll some one kindly sing it,
Is A little girl passing the Washington
statue lately, asked lady with her i
Washington was buried there. "No,
said the lady. "Where is he buried,
said the little girl. II don't know,
sad the lady Then ! guess you don
read your Bible much, said little limo
cence.
A fellow went to priest to get mar
ried. On being told what the lee woult
be he pulled ont of his pocket about hal
the required amount and said :-"Tha
is all have; but you can marry us q,
far as it will CO." When we look into
the records OF the divorce courts we ar,
convinced that the marriage fees OF I
great many couples were only half paid
| A green young man saw for the frs
time school girl going through som
OF her gymnastic exercises for the amuse
ment OF the mtle one at. home. Ate
gazing at her with looks Of interest ant
commiseraiion for while he asked [
bov near by, "Has that gal got fits ?
NO." replied the lad. contemptuously
''that's gymnastics "OE, Ills, hey,
replied verdant; show long hiss she hae
'em ?"
WHEN Kate and Joe were children small.
! And crept about the floor, 80
One chair would scarcely hold them both,
| Nor was there room for more. X
Now Joe is twenty, Kate eighteen,
Yet, strange as it may seem.
I saw the sight the other night,
Myself and twas no dream.
For, though they had larger grown,
Yet will take my oath
That in the parlor on that night
! One chair was holding both.
Printers as class, saws the Roches
ter Democrat. are innocent, unsophisti
men. do any of you gentleman kno'
ANYTHING about gambling ?" asked tn
editor of the Oshkosh Christian Aduo
cate of his compositors the other day
aud cemetery stiffness reigned through