Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-09

huge sheep bound tome Cat least il lad the
appearance of one) supplied us with an an
tidote in case our feasts disagreed with our
Internal economy
As think of nesc scnee GAYS, can see
an my minds eye the long and cheerless re-
fectory, filled with hungry youths. From
what hear the diet has not improved, and
the same roast for Sundays, with vegeta-
bles and rice pudding, is still in order.
Mondays table as bare as a wash-day din
ner in poor family and ''square meal"
not given till Friday, which day was de-
voted to the finny tribe. Saturday, a din
ner of all sorts, rehash of the week, en-
abling one TO appreciate by contrast the
plain but substantial fare the following day.
On going into the world, Iboarded among
other places at the home of a widow who
reJolced IN the appropriate name OF Stintem-
''Terms invariably in ADVANCE. No ladies,
children or dogs admitted" That is, only
| unprotected single gentlemen were taken in
and done for at this ilodel establishment.
Mrs. Stintem, like Lady Macbeth, pre-
served her dignity and presence of mind on
all occasions, and under the most trying
circumstances. She were astonishing caps,
and her makeup" was apparently copied
from some long-forgotten fashion in the
'Ladies Book Her dignity, as | have
before stated, was profound, and of such a
practical nature, that few of her five-and
twenty boarders would have dared to utter
a remOnstrance, had their meals failed to
appear for week A look was generally
|
Her table was bountifully supplied with
linen, glass and silver ware. We were
waited on by sable male attendants, arrayed
in spotless white, while the food (what
there was of it, was cooked in the most
approved style, and served up, hotel fash
ion on tiny dishes, so that each boarder S
plate resembled an old hen with a brood of
chickens around her. Notwithstanding the
increased outlay in crockery, il was an
economical arrangement, for so little was
served in the dishes that the boarders arose
| from the table with the assurance of having
| followed Franklins advice, and left the
table with an appetite. We could not well
complain of lack of food: the pile of plates
emptied by us would seem TO give the lie 10
such an assertion
4
sOothed the diving pillow of three husbands,
and was supposed to be anxiCusly waiting
a fHymens torch to enkindle the flame for
or fourth sacrifice to her charms Her
worldly estate not having increased with
her providers, she was forced TO resort TO
the method of earning living so often re-
sorted to by ladies in difficulties
! | had dexterously managed to procure a
seat next to hers at the table, as past ex-
perience has taught me the advantage Of
this position: q little attention towards the
presiding genius of the house, who rules her
fellow creatures through the medium of
their stomachs, goes great ways in these
modern caravanSaries The bread / thus
cast upon the waters, was returned to me
in the shape of hot cakes and tea of undi-
luted strength whenever | was late at Ty
meals, favor not accorded 10 many under
such circumstances.
But | fell into disgrace at last. Mymat-
tress feeling unusually hard even for a
boarding house article, examined il and,
by the aid of my penknife, removed several
good sized corn cobs, which the upholsterer
had not deemed necessary to remove. For
this wanton destruction Of property, | lost
NV post of honor and its privileges, and,
shortly after found another home. | kept
one of the cobs however, converting If into
a pipe, which | smoked in memory of my
injured landlady.
After some months, dnring which time
had experienced a few changes, | found
myself par;akins OF my daily bread at the
house of Mrs. Biand- Ii was by no means
a first-ciass establishment; | was not pre-
pared to seek the best, yet the change was
for the better, from the elegant starvation
at Mrs. Stintem's to the excessive prodigal-
itv at Mrs. BIS. There was plenty of food,
coarse, but clean, linen, fat cooking and a
fat landlady.
Everything seemed to run to fatness. the
favoritc method of cooking being 'frying,
piles of beef cut in slices the thickness OF
paste board were set swimming in sea of
melted lard, where they were cooked to q
toughness that would have disguised an os-
trich. This formed the basis of every meal.
and they were so nearly alike that but for
, the time of day l could not have told
/, whether it was supper, dinner or breakfast
| was eating.
NV excessive delicacy caused me to leave
the house of this worthy lady. One day al
dinner desiring a fork to assist myself to 8
: piece of the above mentioned delicacy, my
landadv, with the air of dutchess, after
removing the superfluous gravy from hers
by means of her lips, presented it to me
and on assuring her that | could not thinS
of depriving her of so useful an instrument
would have forced me to accept il had moi
sought refuge by flight.
Nv next trial proved successful as far as
table accommodations were concerned, and,
had Jared as well by night as by day, al
would have been well; as it was, l was 81
afflicted by those little pests which natural
lists with their fondness for long names
; style GmeI iectuldrius, that | nightly
dreamed of ''Saint Lawrence and his grid
iron." After being phlebotomized as Ions
as nv constitution would bear it, j engaged
: board at the house of an Irish tailor for ;
) few weeks or until such time as room
|, had engaged could be made ready for me
: Michael Dennison lived pretty well whel
g trade was good, or, to use his own technica
phrase. when the ''goose was hot and cab
bage plenty" But the goose often hun!
> high and cold in the shop, and as that use
LII "tht tH- the tssiN Ne@h'~
!, was a change, however, and the cooking
. was passable with the exception of the cof
= fee and tea: but as my host was grea
: lover of malt liquors, ! made up in good al
: what / lost in more temperate beverages
: Michael was generally ''half seas over b,
!, bed time, when trade was good; and
. such times became unusually pious an
: would insist on whispering spiritual conso
alton intol my ear which was anything bu
agreeable
+ Owing to sickness in his family left m
81 comical host, with more regret than L ha
y left more pretentiOus places, and took fm
/ nished apartments in ''genteel family
e who kept no boarders, procuring meals
2 restaurants. Having added few article
, of furniture, my room room soon had yer
y comfortable appearance. To be sure, ther
( were some little troubles, at first, but 500
e corrected them. For instance, the soaI
l. after the manner of the lodging house articl
had a tendency to slip through my hands
r if resenting such familiarity; at last
is slinped ont of the window, where | left il