The Red Cloud chief., 1879-04-03
A TRUTHFUL TRIO.
MARI Twain, Nasty and nj Perki

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wss surprised 20 meet two very dis:in-
guished and truthful individuals. Sur
prised, I say, because l supposed these
gentlemen were thousands Of miles
away. These men were Mark Twain,
sometimes called the Crest Truihteller
of the Sierras, and T.. v. Nasty, gen.
orally known Is the Great International
Truthteller At Large from the State Of
Ohio. Now, I thought Mark Twain
was doing missionary work in New Jer-
sey, and / had been informed that Mr..
Nasty had gone 10 labor in the tenn
perance field in Italy with Mr.. Murphy.
Notwithstanding my surprise at seeing
them, l was glad 10 have a chance To
sit 81 their feet and hear the truth de-
Tended.
After we had talked q spell Mr.. Twain
laid down his cigar and told US about a
fast horse he once owned in Virginia
City. Said he:
"Gentlemen, this horse of mine was
tough bitted, and he went so fast that l
had to guide him by electricity-had TO
have wire lines and keep q battery in
the wagon all the time in order TO stop
him."
"why didn't you stop him by holler-
ing whoa?" asked.
"Stop him by hollering whoa!" ex-
| claimed Mr.. Twain. "Why, | could
not boiler loud enough to make that
horse hear me. He travelled SO fast that
no sound ever reached him from be-
hind. He went faster than the sound,
sir. Heller whoa and he'd be in the
next own before the soundof your voice
could reach the dashboard. Travel
fast?' l should say he could. Why, l
once started from Virginia City for
Meadow Creek right in front of one Of
the most dreadful transforms we ever
had on the Pacific Coast. Wind and
rain? Why, the wind blew 80 miles an
hour, and the rain fell in sheets. l
drove right before that storm for three
hours-just on the edge of that hurr-
cane and rain for 40 miles"
"Didn't you get drenched?"
"Drenched? No, sir! What did /
keep that fast horse for? Why, l tell
you, l drove right in front of that rain
storm. l could lean forward and let
the sun shine on me, or lean backward
and feel rain and catch hailstones.
When the hurricane Stacked up the horse
Stacked p,too, and when il blew faster l
Just said 'G-lk!' to the horse and touch
cd the battery,and away he went. Now l
don't want to lie about my horse, Mr..
Perkins, and | don't ask you to believe
what I say; but l tell you truthfully
that when | got t. Meadow Creek my
linen buster was dry Is powder. Not
drop of rain on the wagon-seat either,
while the wagon-box was level full of
hailstones and water, or I'm A.,
49,
"Look here, gentlemen" interrupted
Mr.. Nasty; ~"speaking of the truth,
did you ever hear about my striking
that man in TOledo?"
We said we had not.
swell, sir, it was this way: There
was a man there-one of those worldly,
skeptical fellows, who questioned my
varacity n day. He said he had
doubts about the truthfulness of one of
my, crossroads incidents. He didn't
say it publicly, but privately. I'm sorry
for the sake of his wife and family now
that he said it all-and sorry for the
man, too, because he wasn't prepared
to go. If he'd been q Christian it would
have been different. l didn't want to
strike this man, because its q bad habit
to get intO--this making a human chaos
out of a fellow-man. But he question
ed my veracity, and the earthquake
came. l struck him once--just once. l
remember he was putting down a car
pet at the time, and had his mouth full
of carpet-tacks. But a man can't stop
to discount carpet-tacks in a mans
mouth, when he questions your veracity,
can he? never do. l simply struck
the blow"
"Did it. hurt the man much?" l
asked.
81 don't think it did. 1t was too sud-
den. The bystanders said if l was GO
ing to strike Q second blow they wanted
to move out of the State. Now l don't
want you to believe me, and l don't ex-
pect you will, but to tell you the honest
truth, Mr.. Perkins, l squashed that
right down into q dOor-mat, and
his own wife, who was lacking down
one edge of the carpet at the time, came
along and took him for a gutta-
rug, and actually tackled him
down in front of the door. Poor WON
an, she never knew she was lacking
down her own husband! What became
of the tacks in his mouth? you ask.
Well, the next day the boys pulled them
out of the bottoms of his overshoes,
"Gentlemeni" l interrupted, cit
does me good to hear such truths. l
believe every word you say, and l feel
l ought to exchange truths with
you. Now, did you ever hear how l
went to prayer-meeting at New London,
Conn in q rainstorm?"
They said they had not.
SWELL, gentlemen" l said, tone day
started for the New London prayer,
meeting on horseback. When I got
about half way there, there came up a
storm. The wind blew q hurri-
cane, the rain fell in torrents, the light
ming cleaned through the sky, and I
went and crouched down behind a large
But pretty SOC the lightning
the barn, knocked it into q thou.
sand splinters, and sent my horse
whirling over into q neighbOring corn
"Did it kill you, MI. Perkins," asked
Mr.. Twain, the tears rolling down his
"No, it didn't kill me-" l said, shut
[ was a good deal discouraged"
Well, what did you do, Mr.. Per-
"What did l do7 Well, gentlemen,
TO tell the honest Connecticut truth, l
right out into the pasture, took Of
my coat, bumped up my bare back, and
.ook eleven clips of lightning right on
my bare backbone, drew the electricity
III out of the sky, and then got on to
horse and rode into New London in
lime to lead at the evening prayer-meet-
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