Litchfield enquirer., 1879-07-31

Extract from a French feuifleton This blow was too much for the poor count, whom so many emotions had broken down ;; he fell with his face upon the earth some instants after Domingo had finished his recital. When he arose he had ceased to live"
 Sozzle having read that Councils Mass was given at New York church last Sunday with an accompaniment of four horns, says that is the kind of church he has been looking for, as -four horns would just about carry him comfortably through the ordinary church ser vice.
 The Portland Press tells of greenbacker who. while denouncing Secretary Sherman as l Shylock was asked by a listener; gWho was ShyIock, anyhow ?" To which the indig- nant orator replied, in witherpg tores,gfWelI, if you don't know you had better go'home and read your Bible 2 7 ~EnrgT
 The Power of Public Opinion-Our Pet Critic (soothingly): "WeH can't conscienti- onsly praise it, old man, but I'll tell you what I'll do for you-I'll blackguard is so fearfully that lots of people will come forward, out of fair play, and swear it's the greatest work Of geaius this age has ever seen!' PictOr lgnot- as: '9Thanks. my dear boy, and bless yorr kind heart !"
 A young lady graduate in a neighboring county read an essay entitled Employment of Time" Her composition was based on the text, "Time wasted is existence used is liff.' The next day she purchased eight ounces of zephyr of different shades and commenced working sky blue dog with sea-green ears and pink tail on piece of yellow canvas. She expects to have it done by next Christ mas.
 At the steamboat explosion at Lake Minne- tonka, man who put out to the wreck in boat succeeded in rescuing a lady, who at onte piteously implored him to try and save her dog. This he refused to do, and moment later she pointed to a gentleman, who, half in the water and half out, was clnging, besiCe the engineer, to a piece of the wreck that was floating in the vicinity, aud requested her res- cuer to save him, too as he was her husband. He..was fished out, but the dog was not recov- cred.
 The interment quettion-Old Gent (disturb- ed over his Times after breakfast )-''There's a powerful smell of cooking fcomes in from the open window, Harnab." (Snif1ing)- "Can you"--Hannah (nearly~ in ~tears)-'1 was goin' to speak to you, sir The poor old cat died last night sir, and the young gents' -(his two little nephews on 8 visit said they'd bury it in the garden for me; stead O which they're a-they're -(breaking down. -''cree-matin' of it over there by the stables, sir !'' ~
 A wife wanted her husband to sympathize with her in feminine quarrel bHt he refused, saying: "Tve lived long enough to know that one woman is asgood as another, if not better" "And l. retorted the wife, ''have lived long enough to know that one man is as bad as an- other if not worse" A sad event has occurreed in the family of asteroids. Hil6a is lost. One of the nearly two hundred members of the planetary sister hood revolving between Mars and Jupiter can no longer be found Tn her accustomed celestial hauntsy It is not known whether Hilda has eloped with her fathers coachman, or has run away and joined a travelling Pinafore troup. We have predicted time and again that if Hilda's parents didn't keep close eye upon her she would give them trouble
 TO z. CH-NDL-R, LL D.
 When l was young I served term E.s... As partner in a dry goods fran;
 l measured calico land sich'
 Till got to be immensely rich.
 I got so rich and lived so free
 That now 1 am Senator and LL. D. T.. In politics l made my trail
 By twisting tue British lions tail; When my party tiddles l always dance, And punch Jeff Davis when get a chance. l punch Jeff Davis so re,narkahlee ssFt That now 1 am Senator and IL. D. 2 He was married but little more than year ago. Then was his step elastic, his eye bright, his clothing faultess in style,. fit and cleanli- ness. He exhaled an aroma of LIbins best Now are hls habliments redolent of elixir pro- paregoric, squills and like abomlnations. Car. is indelibly stamped on his features, and on the right shoulder of his coat appears we'll defined, mysterious discoloration. His boots as well as his eyes, are lustreless; his hat goes unbrushed; he falls asleep on the slightest provocation; he is constantly bearing home ward neat little white-paper parcels tied with pink string vials are prevalent in every pOck- ct. What has brought about these changes? A single wedge of pie was left over f-om dinner. When Georges mother went to the pantry an hour later, that piece of pie was gone As her eye turned from the empty plIte in an inquirlng way toward George with the astonishing celerity of youth he perceived what was in her mind and what was not in the plate and answered her unspoken question with. Il shouldn't wonder, ma if some tramp took it; they are always round setting fires and soaring folks. and taking things, you know" His mother made no reply except to brush certain suspicious crumbs off Georges jacket. IL was evident that the tramp theory wouldn't work.
 A German clergyman who was travelling, stopped at q hotel much frequented by wags and jokers. The host not being used to have a clergyman at his table, looked at him in sur prise the guests used all their artillery of wit upon him without eliciting a remark The clergyman ate his dinner quietly, apparently without observing the gibes and sneers of his neighbOrs. One of them at last in despair of his fOrbearance, said to him, Well I wonder at your patience! Have you not heard all that has been said to you?" ''Oh, yes; but I am used to it Do you know who I am?" ''No, sir" "Well, will inform you I am chaplain of lunatic asylum; such remarks have no effect upon me-"
 In those ancient times bugpeople are hum- ged so much about nowadays, records were metal or other material. Now it strikes us that the reporter of smart, enterprsing daily would have a pretty lively session if he under took to make report of warm congression- al convention in the Fourth district, ward call- GUS where the factions were at sizes and sev- ems, or even an average Council meeting iE Bridgeport in that way. It must have been funny sight in those dim, dusty olddays to see the city editor. sitting down on street corner l carving out the notes of, fire, while a dog l fight, two runaWays, a street row and notice I of new excursion advertisement were sitting
 around in the shade waiting for him to write
 them up. What say you brethren ?-iStan-
 dgrd.
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