The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-04-11
JOE'S WIFE.

81 write, my dear old chum, for tn
purpose of inviting you to visit u.s." tn
letter ran. Don't refuse. My wifi
heartily seconds the invitation. All
BON, she is jewel-my wife. know
IT you could meet such a one you would
succumb and forswear bachelorhood
She is the dearest, sweetest, best tenn
pered, loveEest-the English language
fails me here, but, as ysu were always
better than L at the Unabridged be
seech of you to look therein for some
endearing adjectives, and complete the
sentence. You, who sing about the fe.
llcity OF Bachelor Hail. when you
have seen my happy home will change
your tune. You must como, Tom. ]
won't take refusal. Yours, etc.,
"JoE HALL"
answered his letter thus:
MY DEAR JOE: 1 thought when I last saw
you could never be tempted to jeopardize nv
peace OF mind or my bones by again placing
myseH at the mercy Of your internal practical
jokes. But have no other recourse now than
to accept your invitation. You must promise
me, my dear fellow, you will not play any of
your Jokes. A married man ought to be more
dignitied, and, If you do play any of your tricks
on me, warn you l shall board the first train
for home Yours, Tom THuRsToN
went. Twas met at the train by Joe's
servant, a man who had long BODY.
dressed in long coat, long waistcoat,
long necktie, long hat, long boots, and
whose name was Long. 1 instinctively
hated the man. He scrutinized me
closely; L returned the scrutiny. He
watched my every movement like de-
tectlve would supposed criminals: I
watched his movement as q timid man
would vicious CANNES. His voice in
information was in length comparable to
the length OF his body; my voice in
length OF intonation when addressing
this man was comparable to the length
OF the body of Lilliputian.
We at length reached Joe's house. I
= anticipated Joe's welcome, but in his
place came the loveliest woman ever
'beheid. 1t is true, as Joe said, was
always fluent In language, but to this |
day cannot find words to satisfy me in |
describing her surprising beauty.
Joe, Joe" thought L, 1T is lucky for
you that you met her first
You are Mr.. Thurston?" she asked.
tlmidly approaching me, and shyly
glancing at me from under her droop-
ing eyelids. L informed her was that
parsonage, and inquired for Joe.
For answer that gentleman himself
Jumped up on horseback, sprang from
the saddle, grasped my hand. and. like
The irrepressible Joe of old, cried:
Glad to see you, old boy! Well
have glorious good times as of old. Wen
hunt, fish, smoke, etc., till you grow SO
fat, hale and hearty that your most in
innate city friends won't know you.
Come, let's go III, tea is waiting. Pardon
me for not introducing you, but sup
posed you introduced yourself in my
absence. Apropos, it was inhospitable
III me to absent myself on your arrival,
but business called me away"
So rafting on Joe ushered us into I
the contest little parlor that ever poor '
bachelor was called upon to envy. But '
the coy little wife? What was the =,
envy OF the room, with its adornments. 4
TO the envy of such wife? Must L
admit it'll may as well right here as .
at any further period of my recital b
felt strange thrill at my heart. 1t I
was thrill of exquisite pain-a thrill
OF jealousy of Joe's happiness. a
joe mentally cried, "better. far
better for me if 1 had declined your u
invitation"
Presently we had most refreshing O
supper, after which Joe and 1 stroiled =
out for walk and smoke. G,
Joe," l exclaimed, enthusiastically. I'll
your cncomiums of your wife were fl
nerited. She is indeed treasure. t.
BY Jove, If 1 could find such level I n
would never rest till won and married
ler." h,
Joe was on the point of lighting his
''gar when L began, but paused with to
lpraised match until / had finished al
md the match burned his fingers. OF
bought for time he was angry at nv Ell
but his face cleared away.
nd the old wicked twinkle that feared s,
@ much sprung to his eyes. He grasped or
ny hand saying:
You're right, my boy; she's the dear ca
st little wife in the universe. I'm glad nc
on like her." T,
After we had finished our cigars and ia.
alked for some time of our old college
avs, we re.entered the house. be
Nellie" cried Joe, opening the piano,
favor Tom and me with tune. He TO
as passion for music"
Perhaps Mr.. Thurston-" began or
he, but was interrupted by Joe. as
mo, Nellie, protestl No mastering
round here. It's plain Tom. Do you 40
ear, Tom2 She's to call you Tom. ha
nd you're to call her Nellie. Violation of
( this rule will incur my eternal dis yo
leasure. Govern yourselves accord
,gly." tn