Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-05-09

josh BlllInsa' Philosophy.
Ths philossphy ~ - Menksy Win
outlase ths PIN oacphy ~ ~ 6a6s q
eol0man wnx On earth to-dAy, and
vo1ldn't put On he vap and balls, h
oouldnt gss 20 dollarsa week ior writing
proverbs.
Young man, ~ wood, shsll beans,
tsnd 3 guide, board at the forks ov sum
ksntry road, do emmy thing almost ex-
copt steal, rather than undertake Ia
1iv bi yurs wits /; . mon ont oy 10 who
undertake 70 iv BIZ their wits arc no
better on than . lost dog.
] never hav written .paragra6 yet,
nor never sxpekt 10 write one, thxt
moot men who bav seem u couldn't ses
Just how they could improve IL; thia
shows the vnst amount ov surplus
gsnins thare IL laying around loose ont
on : job.
A literary reputashum oncs lost, il
lost forever--it kant be recovered. mon
even be patched mp.
never hav had emmy trubble In
traceing all mi bad LUX direkly or in
direkly to bad fgureing. and / guess
almost all mi brethren kan do the
same.
It takes Q very smart man to be q
sukcessfull phool.
Don't put ON airs, mi sweet friend,
yu kant cheat emmy boldly with them,
but the vulgar. and that don't pay.
I Inv money, but I thank Heaven
that ! luv what IL will buy better.
I Homage 10 Wealth This IL the rok
upon which all the nations ov the earth
thus far hav struk, and persisted at last.
Whisky liz responsibel for sum pa
,triotism, mutch poetry, and more pau
perism.
Man il kritter ov habits, and hiz
glory liz, that he controls them--snd
bis disgrace IL that they control him.
I hav written apparent philosophy
enuff in the last 15 years TO run the
whole world with, and yet never hav
been able to run miself 4S hours with
out CRATE, risk ov kollideing with some
thing.
2 ] have allwuss been builder ov air
kastles, but never undertook to liv in
them hav built them az little boys
build biloxi houses, Just for the fun ov
knocking them down.
never dun cunning thing yet but
what waz ashamed ov it when got
thru.
4 A jest IL often mistaken for humor,
and even wit, but thare iz az much diff
ference az between the hole Ia tin
whiseell and the tune that Gums ont ov
il.
The man who il kind ov demigod
in hiz family, and among hiz Majors,
don't amcant to mulch 200 miles from
home.
waz the football ov most men and
most things for 30 years ov mi life,
then one day / sot down and sed--ii
emmy man ever beats me agin, he has
got to be meaner than am am proud
to say that hav been doing good fair
paying bizzness ever sinse.
/ hay commonly notissed that thoze
children who were marvels ov prekocity
in emmy one thing, were equally stupid
in everything slse.
The slime ov the hipokrit liz all over
the face ov this fair world ov ours.
am sad about this--no man hax
longed more for sympathy than hav,
and found less ov Il.
vssI amt sorry thatiwaz kreated q man,
but mi next choice would hav been "a
be mule, and then never would hav
stopt kicking until I had knokt out
both ends ov the universe and opened
up helthy ventilashun for all things.
Itiz only men ov genius who hav the
strongest kind ov sentiments, and dare
to express them most writer's are
impid, or at best, mere sychophants.
Ienvy the man who kan talk 800 days
in year on one subjekt, and think he
liz original and interesting all the time
but don't want to be son-in-law oy
one ov theze kind ov people. !.
Menny literary , people wondsS viii
they don't acquire lasting fame. The
reason IL, they write from books and
not from experience, observashun, and
refekshun.
The most melancholy ov all kritters,
is bob-taiied peakok. Thare liz lots
ov people in this world whom the luv
ov fame, and the failure to git it has left
in the same kind ov O fix.
= had rather undertake to make two
average pedigrees for misslf than to
watch one that had from ded grand.
father. and keep it in decent repair.
bav seen hornets git so mad thai
they wouls sting themselfs to deth
Humans do the same thing, only the
pizon is q little slower.
Thare haz been o vast amountov truth
and wit transmitted in the form o,
proverb, and an equal amount ov I'M
truth and nonsense.
liz impossible to look at menny o,
the arkitectnral monstrositys ov antiqui
ty, without sskonkluding that the build
ers oy them had more time and money
to spare than they had common sense.
Young man, the citizens ov the world
are Watching yu, not so much to SEE
yu reach the top oy the ladder, as to ses
yu fall of. and perhaps sprain yurt
ankle.
think / had rather be phool, thar
u Al II - Mall ~