Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-08-14
sips ofFun.

4
"But / viii not llnger upon
this point" " as the preacher said
when he sat down on the carpet
tack.
A;Bestle, N. c., woman was
Iscared into a trance by a storm.
lShe was trance-fixed, as it were,
with fright.
/ A Chicago man has published
"a book telling how to be plump
lat pleasure. You don't need a
book to tell how to be plump.
All that is requisite is to get fat.
The new blasting apparatus is
lcomposed of one mother-in-law,
Ione-but no matter-that will
answer for experimental purpo-
ses without other ingredients.
| Poultry for the French mar
ket is now fed ON steamed car
rots. The fowls soon get so
they don't carrot all for any
other food. 81
The Boston belle is too intel
Iligent for embroidered slippers
and fancy hosiery. She wants
something more boot-ifnl for her
mind to dwell upon.
A French newspaper, the 9TH
er day, had the following head
ing in its police intelligence:
"Suicide of two persons; state
Iment of the one that survived
s'Driver are you running on
time to-day?" asked a passenger
lin an omnibus. "No, sir,'' was
Ithe keen reply, eve are running
Ifor cash."
1.-THE army at the polls," began
la political enthusiast to his
Ineighbor farmer. ooh" replied
the other, 'sthe beans at the poles
lis the topic that interests me just
Inow."
! IF a lady meet a lady coming
down the street, need lady tell
a lady that she looks $50 sweetW
For well she knows before she
lgets fairly out of sight, she'll
turn around and cry out aloud:
'EWhat horrid fright"
No one blames a business man
for wanting his sfgn to convey a
big idea of his business, but a
Michigan blacksmith, in ham
let of 400 people, rather over
Idoes the thing when his sign
lreads: Foreign and domestic
ihorses shod here"
/ The boy who thinks himself
killed if asked to saw a stick of
wood at home, will go over to
johnny Bragg's house, and not
Ionly saw all the wood he can lay
hands on, but split it and pile it
Iup in the bargain, and come
home and tell what a ''good time"
he has had. M
/
After an enthusiastic lover
spends two hours hard labor O.
yer a letter to his girl, and then
mars it's beauty by spilling a
drop of ink on it, he first swears
lin very scientific manner for
a few moments, and then draws
a circle around tho blot and
tells her it is a kiss. z.
Said Jones rehectively: "Why
lis it that everybody laughs at
Idonkey?" still gazing at o repre-
sentative of that tribe. Replied
the dulIard Smith: 'SOh, you
are too sensitive, - ones, altogeth-
er too sensitive" Strange some
men never can understand a fell
low. 500 E4) e
"Ah, yes, my son." said Mr..
Smilly, as he was strolling un-
der the moonlit heavens the 9TH
er evening" ''there are a great
many wonderful things in the
armament; for instance, thorc
is the constellation of the great
bear which is SO beautifully
mixed up with the 'dipper' that
you have always to remember
that the tail of the dipper is the
handle of the bear in order to
tell the other from which" !"
A North Carolina man got
tired of life, and went in the
stable and hung himself with a
blind bride. just as he was g.
bout bringing his last gasp O
ncighbor opportunely passed
and seeing his peril promptly
cut him down. "Ah," said
the would-be suicide, "why
J didn't you let me alone; in two
minutes I'd been in heaven. !"
"Yes," dryly remarked tho 9TH
} er, "you'd play thunder in heav-
; en- with blind bride onp
Colorado has the most de-
lightful climate in the world,
: and bcd-bugs. A mother in Is
, rael residing there requires her
granddaughter, a young High
|, School miss, to read to her dali
,lly some portion Of the Good
Book. While so engaged re-
Gently the young lady sudden
! In - - o.x.~~.J a =, Il awolairaod