New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1879-12-03
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

h. :
THE oysters are coming back, after
having been away for spell.
Old age overtakes all, and there
comes . time when dimpled chin
loses it's cunning.
a WHITE man who had married 3
negress offered color blindness as an
excuse Boston Courier.
APHoR1sM by q perfectly reckless
belle: 9 Be flirtuous and you will be
happy. albany Journal.
IT doesn't take q school-boy long to
evince love for division, provided an
other boy owns the apple.
TAKE your ear of green corn in one
hand or both-the main point is to get
away with the corn.-D Detroit Free Press.
The man who got in barber-chair,
pinned the newspaper round his neck
and began to read the towel may justly
be called absent-minded.
GRAVE STONES do not mention the
fact, but there have been men whose
dying was the only good thing &C.
complished by them. o. Picayu,ss.
WHY is ton Of coal like popular
actor who delays appearing before an
impatient audience of two thousand
persons? Because it makes twenty
hundred weight. =
ADVICE to the young: Eat oysters
only in the months that have an ..r"
in their names, and drink whisky only
in the months that have X in their
names.-Alba,sy Journal. .. ~
JUSTICE is represented as blind and
with pair of scales, so that she may
weigh the evidence and not see the
wink of the leading counsel for the de.
fense.-M. o. RcGya'se. ii ~. Fl.
MADAME BONAPARTE left money for
the building of her monument. The
fate of George Washington warned her
that she could not depend upon q
grateful people for monument after
death. - .
"TH1s," said the dentist, .'is my
Office" "And thatr' inquired Wis
itor, pointing to the apartment where
stood the tooth-pulling chair. "Ah,
that replied the proprietor, !" that is
my 'drawing-room.'" .: ..-
THE discovery has been made that
the world does not revolve with the
same celebrity that it did thousand
years ago; but it still swings around
fast enough to satisfy the man with a
heavy bill coming due. ,.......
LIGHTNING is eccentric IN Georgia.
The Forsyth Advertiser says that q
large tree was struck and felled to the
ground, and" young man, riding by
on mule, received such a heavy shock
as to jar the beast from under him."
| A MARsHF1ELD (Mass.) man, who
lost his good character some time ago,
was severely hauled over by some Of
bis former friends. 81 know it. boys;
I know my characters gone-lost en-.
tirely. And" he added, rather point
eddy, ''it's too COMPOUNDED bad; for il
was the only one in the place worth
saving" $40 a>S'..@ r.."'
| ATEACHER, endeavoring to familiarize
a little girl with the various countries
of the Western Hemisphere, with lit.
tie evidence of success, finally asked:
"f were to bore hole through the
earth, and you were to 60 through at
this end, where would you come out?''
"Come outp'' replied the child; "why,
I'd come out of the hole, miss!''
| A0E S1Au0 law 6uOulO U6 dn0uO0u
some more. 1t is all right to impose a
fine for shooting game out of season,
but what is wanted now is clause in
serted TO enable man to shoot game
and catch fish in season. We have
found it easy enough not to shoot game
out of season. To kill it in season Is
what bothers us.-Norristown Herald.
"WHAT! You are aware that this
poor fellow has just lost his wife, and,
instead of sending him the smallest
word of coincidence, you dun him for
the two hundred francs that he owes
| your "H'm! I know that there are
griefs which no words can console, and
thought was doing him a service in
giving another course to his sad
thoughts" -Fre''ch Newspaper.
| WHEN some years ago an eminent
Australian was inspecting in that coun-
try lunatic asylum, miserably defec-
tive in construction and appointment,
he asked what was the special feature
in the lunacy of certain patient: HE
thinks he is in hell, SIR" was the re-
ply. eff that's all his delusion," was
the rejoinder, II think he has q very
substantial basis for it,"
"A COUNTRY woman stopped some ten
minutes in front of store in Spring.
field to gaze at patent fy-trap in oP-
GRAFTON, which was pretty we'll filed,
and after studying the placard, two
dollars, intently, moved on, after piping
out, to the great amusement of the by
ISLANDERS: "Tew dollars! 1 wouldn't
give tew cents for all the flies in Spring.
field. "-Sprs'sgfeld { Mass Republican,.
THEY were discussing the charms Of
an actress whom one gentleman of the
company affected to regard as the hand
soonest woman on the stage. "She's
not bad looking" said another, "but
one of her eyes is smaller than the
other" "Ah, har' said the other,
triumphantly, "that's all you know
about it! If you'd watched her close.
", you'd have seen that one of he1
eyes is larger than the other. Smaller,
indeed!'
The Rev. G. r. Davis, of Carson,
and the Rev. w. r. Jenvey, of Reno,
never lose an opportunity of giving
each other q sly dig. Parson Davis
preached at Reno the other Sunday,
and while taking breakfast at Parson
Jenvey's house remarked: "Guess I'll
take some more steak, as 1 have to
preach" Guess I'll brace up little,
too," rejoined Jenvey, passing his plate
for another section of the meat; GIVE
got to listen. y Virginia (Nev.) Csron.
icle. =. ...-
Mr.. Grihin's Fatal Joke.
LAST Saturday night Mr.. A. Griffin,
OF this county, proposed to Mr.. Jesse
Marlborough, one of his tenants, to play
q joke on some young men who had
been raiding his watermelon-patch.