The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1879-06-05
STANDARD PARAGRAPHS.

vile.
Fashion Notes. Those given tail
or, in payment for new suit
No man ever saw a small boy who was
lazy after hearing circus band
The men who engaged in war Of
words" concluded to rest for spell.
The Democracy are in Columbus, dec
Grating the corpse for burial.
Mr.. Bishop will be tenderly Foster-ed
in the coming campaign.
Now let Cincinnati quit trying to make
fun of Kentucky revolvers.
Away from the maddingl" sighed the
lecturer, as he viewed the empty benches.
Some creatures seem to prefer grief to
joy. Woe is pleasant word to the mule
Auctioneers are the most troubled of
all men-at least they are always "cry-
ing"
The rebels took Hayes for man of
clay-but he hardened little too soon
for them.
If that sunstroke had killed Blaine,
Ben. Hill would have much happier
man.
Alex. Stephens is willing to bet that
Hayes can write thousand vetoes in
Thousand hours.
.
the water, his conduct is generally de-
scribed as herow-ic.
Many Ohio statesmen are gazing at
Thurman's seat in the Senate, and won
dering how it would fit them.
When an employee on the N. Y. Ele-
waited Railway swindles his employers, he
is at once denounced as highway robber.
The general introduction of artificial
butter will delight the grocers-they can
make it as thin and as strong as they
please.
When the murderer pushed his victim
over the brow of the cliff, he remarked
that "the most they could make of it
would be an al-ledged crime.
Foster expects assistance in the canvass
from Conkling, Blaine and Garfield
"Whoop 'em up" Charles. Can't you
bring old Zach, too2
The man who can preserve an equanim
ty of temper with the thermometer away
up in the nineties, deserves to be classed
as christian.
We are assured that, since the Republi
can Convention "Uncle Dick is serene"
But it is forced calmness in the face of
(politicaD death.
Rev. De La Matyr still breaches occa-
sionally. Ifthere is anything calculated
to make man 60 off spontaneously into
preaching the gospel, it is serving in the
Confederate Congress.
"I'll vent-ilate the whole thingl" said
the small boy. as he touched a match to
an old musket. The next moment he
lay stock still upon the grass.
"You must be green p said the woman
to the gardener. my greeness is what
people must admire about me-" he re-
piled.
Many Democrats assert that Thurman
is a necessity" That is probably because
his political course has led them to be-
lieve that he is the father of invention
The next day after the big convention
in Cincinnati. President Hayes hit the
Rebel Brigadiers square in the mouths,
with anoth er veto.
The National Party wants to swallow
the Democratic Party. If the National
Party wants to turn itself wrong side out,
let it try such dose.
The Democratic majority in Congress
will scarcely present an Address to the
people. As long as their address is
Washington, D. c., they will do well not
present it to the people.
"They tell me-" said Jim. Reagan, as
he rolled over in bed. "that the sun rails
es at four o'clock in the morning-but
'ere's me mothers son at won't raise till
eight o'clock-be the powers l won'tl'
When you see boy coming from the
direction of the creek, industriously
beating his hair, with short stick, you
may rest assured there is an anxious
mother somewhere. and that that boy will
shortly be getting up off shingle.
Two Sacramento, California, murderers
laid plan to kill all the rich old bache-
lors, thereabouts, and succeeded in kill
ing one. This is another terrible warn
ing against being an old bachelor.
The rain The rain The pattering rain!
How sweetly it comes down!
love to see the growing grain,
And see he farmer frown.
,Tis fun to hear the housewife say,
While thinking of tomorrow,
"Ill put my new umberell away
I'll neither lend nor borrow ~
Governor Bishop could make no head
way against Foster: The fact that Foster
is a truly good man has been established
by the large number of Democrats who
have voted for him, heretofore. AS Mrs.
Partington would say, Bishops doom is
concealed"
Doctors Gave Him Up.
.tTa IL nossible that Mr. Godfrev is I'D