Weekly Trinity journal., 1879-05-31
THE WIGGLEWORTH PARTY.

There was social gathering at the
residence of Mr.. Wiggleworth, on Mid
die street, one evening last week, and
among others who were present was
young man from Belfast, with q fore
head of marvelously developed bumps,
cutaway coat, delicate tenor voice, and
brilliant, red neck-tie.
AS the gathering was purely ola social
character, the company sat around the
room on chairs, stared vacantly at the
pictures, pored aimIessly through the
family albums without any backs. twist
ed their fingers, and thought up mean
things about each others clothes. Final
ly during the continued lull in the con,
versation, the young man from Belfast
cleared his throat, pulled his cuffs down
so they would show and said, for the ed
ifcation OF the company
I" Why does dog always sneeze three
times ?"
1t was heroic act thus to break the
awful silence, and the young man actual
ly turned pale as he realized his temerity,
but the company eagerly grasped the rope
thus thrown down to their assistance.
What kind of a dog p inquired pret-
ty girl in a garnet silk.
Oh, any klnd," explained the young
man.
It's because it can't help it, observed
smart young 6rysgoods clerk, with a
tall collar and q weak smile, who was
little jealous of the sudden elevation
into notoriety of the young man from
Belfast.
The pretty girl in the garnet silk
laughed at this, but the owner of the
conundrum frowned severely.
Because said philosophical>l
ing man in white vest, because it is
owing to the prolongatlon of the subtle
influences set in operation consequent
upon the irritation of the inner mem
brane of the canine's proboscis.'
The company gasped as the question
began to take on such serious aspect,
but the young man from Belfast chack-
ed their fears by negative shake of
the head. The phlosophic man gave
little snort Of anger, at the reception of
his theory, and relapsed into silence,
while fat woman with gray hair and
a jet black switch, remarked
My husband had dog once that
was the funniest thing. He used to
wear night cap to bed-that is, my
husband did-and one night when he
was laid up with sore paw-that is,
the dog-he forgot to put it on-my
husband forgot to put his night cap on
and he chewed it all up-the dog did
and my husband jumped out OF bed
and found it so twisted around his feet
found the night cap twisted-that l
had to hold his hind legs while he cut
it off with lis knife
Held whose hind legs, the dogs p
anxiously inquired ministerial APP
pearing man behind the stove.
'Of course, sir, frigidly replied the
fat woman.
But what was this to do with the
question p mildly inquired a meek
little woman in cork-screw curls.
Nothing responded the fat woman,
only he was such funny little brute
the dog, l mean.'
Just ct this moment a young man by
the door, who had been thinking so hard
that he started q button on the back of
his coat. burst out with 4:
Because its the sneeziest thing to don
At this atocious act the fat woman
almost tainted, and the frowns of the
whole company so abashed the unfortu-
nate young man that he shrunk out of
sight behind the door.
And why finally asked Mr.. Wiggle.
worth, as the silence became painful, why
does dog sneeze three times p
The company held their breath for the
answer.
He DOESN'T replied the young man
from Belfast, softly.
'Eh = exclaimed Mr.. Wiggleworth, in
condensed amazement. while the compa-
ny resolved itself into an allegory ofpetri-
fed astonishmen ent.
He doesn't, repeated the young man
from Belfast, in the same soft voice, as he
toyed with the bumps on his forehead.
And then it seemed as il a sort of gloom
settled down upon the company, and after
refres hments had been served, the young
man from Belfast, noticing that the
weather had grown suddenly cool, went
home. And ofall that throng there was
none who bade him good night; no, not
one. e.-Rock!dad Courier.