The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-12-25
HORACE GREELEY.
Some New Anecdotes OF tho Great Editor.

| Some New Anecdotes OF tho Great Editor.
r.. Y. Correspondence Chicago T:ihrue.
I was Just going through the door
which led into the big back room of the
Tribune office one day. when slap-bang!
l collided with somebody. And that
was not the worst Of it. The somebody
alluded to stepped upon my foot and al
most ground into sausage-meat part of
that member which contained upon its
surface q particularly violent and ag-
gressive corn. 1t was an agonizing mo-
ment, and in pain which. fairly doubled
me UP for all instant, I-ycs, damned
| roughly, and in good set terms, as w.
Shakespeare would observe. When L
Strengthened up, you may imagine my
horror to see that the person 1 had been
matchmaking was none other than MIR.
Greeley. could have sunk through the
floor with modification, and l stood
there waiting in sort of dazed way for
the volley of profanity which felt sure
would come. But it didn't. The old
gentleman settled himself back, adjusted
his spectacles on his nose, and with 8
broad grin upon his face, addressed me
thus:
"That's right, bub. If it hurts you,
swear like h-H;rI would"
/ Then he paused moment, and con-
tinued:
| 'nHuman nature is human nature,
bub; and ifit does you any good, just
'd-n HE again! There's nothing like it!
Balm of Gilesd is nowhere"
And he patted me on the head and
passed on.
One winter Mrs Greeley went to the
West Indies for her health, and the fol-
lowing spring she sent for her husband
to come after her and bring her home to
New York. Now if there was one thing
the old man mated it was the sea. The
very smell Of salt water made him sick.
But nevertheless he obeyed his wife's
call, as he was accustomed to obey her
every whim. In due time they got back
to Gotham, and that morning Mr.. Sim
clair received word that Greeley was not
feeling we'll, owing to his voyage, and
had decided to stay at home for the day.
In the evening, Sinclair was going to
Washington ON business, and so, valise
in hand, he called at Greeley's house an
hour Or two before the train was to start.
He found the old man in bed and actu-
ally very i'll, having suffered terribly
from sea-sickness all the way out and
all the way back. He was alone,
the other members of tle family
being either ill Or away from home; and
so Sinclair determined to pass the night
with him, giving up for that time his
trip to the Capital. Presently Greeley
wanted his back rubbed; and the im-
promptu nurse was surprised to find that
the patient hadn't stitch of clothing on
his person, barring the sheets and quilts.
Sinclair" said he in that querulous
whine of his, "Tm as naked as the day
was born. My trunks haven't arrived
yet, and I haven't got a d-n night
gown"
"But why not wear this?" pointing to
a garment he had taken off before get
ting into bed.
ooh, expect to be out tomorrow and
I want that to wear then. How the
blazes would it look after-I had slept in
it%
Well, in due time his baggage arrived,
and Sinclair made bolt for the article
he wanted. After some rummaging he
found it, and helped the old man put it
on. 1t was speedily fastened at tie neck
and the nurse took up one of the wrists
and tried to button it. There, however,
he stuck fast. The ends wouldn't meet
bv fully two inches. He tugged and
twisted to his utmost, but it was no 60.
Still, as the patient said nothing, hesup-
posed it ought to be fastened, and re-
doubled his efforts for that purpose.
For about twenty minutes he labored
without success. Then he said:
"This is failure. 1t won't fasten."
''No," replied Greeley with exasperat"
ing GOODNESS. II knew it wouldn't. The
fact is, never could button the internal
thing myself. But you seemed to enjoy
it, so I didn't disturb YOU"
He lay back IN the pillows for a few
moments, as + thinking deeply, and
then, sitting bolt upright, he brought his
fist down upon the quilt and exclaimed
savagely:
"1f ever Mormonism works as far cast
at this, I'll be id if I don't have one
wife to take care of my shirts"