The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1879-11-06
PITH AND FONT.

PlTH AND FONT.
4 HxAxclAl crash cannot DO worked
up into towels. 5 We: *. ~
IT'S game Of bludwhen you try to
scale q precipice. - !:
JONAH is reported to have been tho
man who struck oil. "
A PAIR OF ears that 80 on head Of
Observation-Disclosures and frontiers.
IT policemans club were rod.
what city would it representa- Baton
Rouge.
A NAN who declared himself to he in.
toxicated with music was considered
alright.
TIE latest fgurative expression upon
seeing man bored 10, Throw him .
rope" In other words, Hang the fell
low"
No NATTER how handsome a family
monument man may have in the GEM
etery, he never wants to lie on his back
and look up at it.
A FAITHFUL brother in q Fairfield
(Ct) church recently prayed for the ab-
scot members who were PROSTATE on
beds OF sickness and chairs Of welluess."
The bell-punch is generally supposed
to be . modern invention, but it was
evidently in use in Macl,etlls time.
from the fact that he says, Go bid thy
mistress, when my drink is ready, she
strike nn0n the la11n
II WOULD rather" ssys the editor of
tho Okolona States, "be living ass
than dead lion" Nature having
gratified him in that particular, what in
the world is he growing about7-
Buffalo Express.
MA" said a little girl, edo men
want to get married as much a women
do?" "Pshawl what are you talking
about?" "Why, ma, the ladies who
come here are always talking about
getting married; the men don't"
If the sun were not boiling, and the
sand didn't get into the salad, aud the
rocks were soft and smooth, and there
were no hornets or mosquitoes, and one
hadn't to 60 three-quarters of amile for
water, what tame affair spicnic would
be.
SOME folks wonder why it is that 4
man worth quarter of a million will
step of the sidewalk into the mud to
pick up lost cent. The reason il plain
enough. he does it to prevent man
worth half million from getting hold
of the cash. Detroit Free Press.
Now, Mn. ROBINSON" said fair
young city visitor to the kind-hearted
farmer, won't you show us your water
melon orchard?" II haven't . water
Eelon tree on tho place this year,
ma'am; they were all winter-killed; :"
and his quest;oner wondered Why he
smiled SO pleasantly as he answered.
I've a new thing-a big thingl" he
said; I'm going to get up matri.
monial agencyl" The scheme is ven
erable," said cold. hearted bystander.
mot on my plant" was his proud re-
ply. All goods not satisfactory
cheerf1l]y and promptly exchanged "
TAE deaths from violence-by muir
der, accident, etc.-are four times
greater in England than in Italy, al
though the latter has larger popnla-
ton. This is due to the number killed
in mines in England
"JouSSY," said fond mother to her
boy, (which would you rather do, speak
French or Spanish? ?" II would rather"
said Johnny, rubbing his waistband and
looking cxpressively at the table, II
would rather talk Turkey"
"You made fool of me" said nm il.
ritated man to his wife, land that's the
way you got me to marry you" my
love" sweetly responded the wife, i" You
do yourself an injustice. Call you rself
q fool, If you please, but remember that
you are in all respects q scll-made
man."
TIE Widow Colin, of Rapid Creek,
Mo-. received an offer of marriage from
wealthy but old and ugly man. She
wrote back to him that within week
she would choose between becoming
his wife and another disposition of her.
self that she had in view. A little later
he heard that she had attempted to
| commit suicide.
SOME railway memoranda lately pub
hshed in Germany give the big CHEST
points yet reached by existing rail-
ways passing over mountain ranges or
through mountain passes. The Apen-
nine line reaches height Of 1924 feet,
the Black Forest line; 2, 789; the Sem
mering, 1920; the Caucasian line, g.
1913; the st. Gotharl tunnel, 1886; the
Bremen, 4,475: Mont Gems tunnel,
1880: the North Pacific, s, 420; the Cen
trail Pacific, 1921; the Union Pacific,
8,573; while railway over the Andes
climbs 15,C4G feet.