The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1879-02-22
VARIETY.

Religion and medicine are not responsible for
the faults and mistakes Of their doctors.
It is with our good intentions as with our
days; tomorrow Is but too often the hash OF to-
day.
Counsel 10 witness. You re a nice sort OF lel-
low. YOU are" "Witness-ld say the same of
you, only I'm on my oath :"
There is a tide in the affairs Of men " which
leads ON 10 good or i'll fortune. lis the critical
moment when the marriage knot Is tied.
The Rev Henry Ward Beecher, in reply to the
question, Shall we dance ?" says: I" Of
course dance all we choose tO-but not at fun
erals"
Josh Billings suggests that many young poet
might be able TO collect his scattered thoughts IL
he would only look into an editors waste basket
early in the morning.
There wouldn't have been any milk in the CO
eoanut if some Of our dairy-men had the orIgnai
construction Of ofit.-lCincinati Saturday night
Wilhelm to his people My children, have
not done as much for you as i wished, but you
will admit as a target 1 have served you ialth-
fully"
A man bet another ten dollars that he could
tell him how much water to q quart went over
the Fa.ls Of Niagara in year Ihe pet was
taken. 1.-Two pints to quart" replied the
other, as he pocketed the wager
1t has passed into parable" says the Ne"
York Sun, that for the last dozen years the Re
publican party has lived only through the lmbec-
iIity and laundering Of the Democracy . Ils
true, it's pity, and pity tbs tbs true
a. Anna" said landlaGy to her new girl,
when there's bad news, particularly private al
aictions, always let the boarders know it before
dinner. It may seem strange to you, Ann, but
such thing make q great difference IN the eating
in the course Of q year"
The Massachusetts, total abstinence society
have solemnIy decided that those who take the
1Isdye can't drink ss sweet cider, right from the
99ress. unIermented." We presume people will
still be allowed to eat apples, if they spit out the
iuiee-BOStOR Herald.
A Rome Beau Brummel was jilted at the altar
because he refused, at the last moment to give up
tobaeco-R Rochester Express That girl had prin-
cinIes 10 back her, and If any fellow expectorates
biob in her affections he must eschew the weed.
She probably escaped in the nieotine-EIHlITG
Gazette.
darlington Rarkeye: There is q poem in the
November Atlantic that starts of by saying
as There came three queens from heaven" Never
do YOU believe il /; well bet you thousand dol
lars one Of them was dealt to him, and he pulled
the other two out OF his boot.
Boston Posi-: IL appears to have been fact,
"a Dean Stanley stated, that his trip cost hin
only two dollars. That sum he paid hotel Por-
ter TO lock him in his and tell all inquirlng
friends that he had gone up into high mountain
and wouldn't be back for four days.
A Young lady hesitating for word in describ-
ing the character Of n rejected suitor, said ' He
is not a tyrant not exactly domineering, but"
Dogmatic," suggested her friend. " No, no
has not dignity enough for that; I think pupma-
tic would convey my meaning admirably"
In California you can't even get horse to
90 anywhere without giving him two bits
Boston Post. But with two bits they doubtless
90 real'' well. Hey ?-GraPhie- Yes for the
first auarter.-BOSlOH Post. You don't get
half the speed out Of him you might
An Ohio man went out and hanged himself
the other day because Columbus dentist told
bin, that his tooth was affected with 80 nodular
.aIe;scation an. of the pulp" He left note to
his wife saying he did not want to live on and
give it to her and the children Burlington
Hsrkeye.
IL is told Of n Glasgow bailie that, when
visiting Paris as one Of deputation from GIas-
cow 20 Louis Philippe, the King said, when
showing the party through his library, where he
had many os the English classics '' You will
know Milton very well p " Oh, bless you, yes
delighted that something had been mentioned
that he did know. 50 Yes, your Majesty,
Lnow Milton very veil, Milton is n little place
IN the neighborhOod OF Glasgow y we're just
building slaughter-hOuses there Chambers
Journal
The following is taken from the churchyard
oT Stirling and IL the epitaph OF Alexander T..
Mifin, Chief Constable Of Stirlngshire
=. our life Is but winter. day;
Others TO dinner stay and are fulfilled
The Oldest man but sups and goes to bed
He that goes soonest has the least 10 pay