Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1879-04-21
SMALL. SHOT.
rHr DrcrrryuL HxPOxrEz; OF, GETTING A
PUFF-

/ rHE DEcETTyUL KKPoErERi on, GETTING A
PUFF
MFvAaAt-
! Kind reporter. I've Important information
Slng hey. The kind reporter that yOu are.
About A certain dry EOocs tnundarOu.
sing hey the ehsApsst gods In town By ar
B1ta-
The very cheapest goods in town b BAR
RsporsI:
Good sellov In eouundrums YOU are speaking,
sing hey. the mystic merchant that yO0 are;
The answer % them Vainlf am SEEKING.
sing hey, the cheapest goods n town % tAr
Both.
The cheapest goods IN nDwn By Tar.
MsrrAnat
Kind reporter, On uD-mOrrUW IN be ZUing,
sing hey. ne boss reporter thals Won are.
To New YORK and 5000 III be showing
The biggest stOck-but take VOC this cigar
BOA:
The very cheapest goods In town by iAr-
RP0r'or,
Good seIIOw. yuu have given timely warning,
sing hey. he thoughtful merchant that you
are.
II Ehoop yo1 up lively IN the morning.
sag hey, the merry htteen-cent cigar
BOth:
PS-It Was the reporter that gDt The puf
-CSaeiEaGfi EsFutrsT-.
TIE length of lady's train should
never be under fOOt--BOFOB Post
Two oyster crackers and a modern box
Of strawberries make 4 shOrtcake.
ARE shopping ladies', asks the HsTGid,
Liable 70 De called price-fghters?
LEADyrILE whisky Is ninety degrees
above high water mark.-4ttdHtG Con-
Jf51G1On.
The elephant IS a cautious animal
He never loses sight OF his trunk--Chi-
cHgO Journal.
The strawberry festival season, with
about three strawberries to festival, L
approaching.
TIE New Orleans TiBNs notices that
interest in public affairs has declined
10 four per cent
THE man with a strawberry mark on
his right arm can now sell himself for a
short cake.-HsTELL
The trouble in South Africa Is looked
upon by the Chicago Tri5Ims a. another
Bull Run-a Johnny Bull Run
TYNE her bonnet under the chin, Miss
Julia Smith Inadvertently tied IN old
gentleman's heart within--B4Fdj0 Er-
press.
COLONEL INGERsoLL, If We NAV believe
the Jersey City Journal, won't admit
that there Is one even when he gets
there himself.
FIVE barrels OF arnica arrived in this
city Yesterday in anticipation OF the
opening Of the base ball seasou.-Ny7r-
H1ren RsgsESr.
An Atlanta negro who tried 10 send
one % his offspring through the post
office. was promptly arrested for at
tempted blackmailing .-C0ptihFi0E
ApEoPos Of walking matches the To-
ledo Commercial SAYS: AN Albany
florist Is eudeavoring TO arrange 4 match
between 4 Virginia creeper and scarlet
runner.
IRON THUNDER, a converted Dakota
Indian, has become a preacher; bu. We
don't believe be can preach 4 more e.
fective sermon than Jersey Lightning.
Nor. HyrI.i
The time i near at hand when a glass
Of water, favored with .OOOOOl cents
worth Of lemon extract, and imPrsgna-
tel with 10000 cents worth Of carbonlC
acid-gls, j. % fetch ten cents az the
druggists cpunter.-JTSs7J City Journal
Bosrov has four hundred missing vo-
men. W. don't know whether Boston
suspects anything Of the kind, but no
doubt her missing women are travelling
about the country playing JGssyhuIs AMI
Lybg in "PiratOre. '-Norr. HyrIH
Hal Snowy Spring-tnferual biCstrrpr, hl-.'
Ernest aArr lEer Of Lfa. AM warm n Art love:
W aow- rsrs tscx thy cu.t and nlamuy breast,
And Mature Wesps and Tits is eyes above
Th0U AZ not Winter. thou A. not spring.
A s0u. .ess Ea-i a shIverluE child ~ tate,
Thy bones are marrDwles-. thy passiDr agi
B@EJne, , snat. gelDgL aos,i lAtuA,e
Nov We tee. s0ueW lag better
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