South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1879-09-26
WIT ND HUMOR

visiting her Whitehall country cous.
ms. While walking out, several butter
flies passed her.
20 dear me! what charming little
birds. They are perfectly exquisite"
''They are not birds, my dear" repI-
cd her country cousin, they are butter.
flies"
"Oh! you don't say SO! Then these
are the dear little creatures that Nv from
flower to aower and gather the butter
that we usep They arc too lovely for
anything"
Remember who you are talking to
SIR" said an indignant parent to a face.
tious boy; 81 am your father. well,
who's to blame for that ?" said the young
rooster, "taint me-"
Mamma" said little Clevelander,
Can God stand in the ARR Yes"
said the mother, rejoicing to have her
son and heir interested in such matter.
Then commented the boy, God can
do more'n a circus actor, can't he ?"
A story of small boy comes from
one Of the watering places. He was Sc.
ven years old, and was intently watch.
ing game of billiards, with elbows on
the table as usual, and chin on his hands.
The proprietor of the hotel said: "Jobn.
ny, how many times have 1 told you
You mustn't put..your hands on the table
while gentlemen are playing" 81 re-
ally don't know, Mr.. Jones'" responded
the seven-year old, II have never count
ed" That's the wit of truth.
A pretty girl down east is a "mind
reader" She said to a bashful beau,
the other night; "IIau, 1 believe you
are going to kiss me-" She was right.
Some people seem to think that it is
with religion as with oysters-it is only
to be enjoyed during the months with
an r. in them.
Steubenville Chronicle: A gentleman
was in the city last week trying to intro
duce paper shirts for summer wear. We
don't know, but it seems to US that
shirt made out of story paper would
have too many tales
AS touching a reproof can be is the
following: The Duke of Gloucester, the
third son of the Prince Of Wales, father
of George ILL.,, was q dull child, and his
mother used to cause him great distress
at times by jeering at him for his dull.
ness in the presence of his brothers and
sisters on one occasion she told them
TO laugh at the fool. The sensitive child
held down his head and said nothing,
upon which the Princess changed her
tone, and accused him Of sulking No
he said, 'he was not sulking he was on
ly thinking and pray, what are you
thinking of ? inquired the Princess with
increasing scorn. Il was thinking said
the poor child, 'how l should feel if l
had son as unhappy as you make me-
a gentleman who is no longer Young,
and who never was handsome. saws to
child in the presence of its parents:
We'll, my child, what do you think
of me, eh 2
The little Que makes no reply, and the
gentleman continues
well, so you won't tell me what you
think of me. Why won't you?'
Cause L don't want to get licked
The most original verdict was that Of
an Irish jury before whom prisoner !
pleaded Guilty throwing himself on
the mercy of the court The verdict was
Not Guilty. The Judge, in surprise,
exclaimed, why, he has confessed his
crime
The foreman responded 'Oh, my lord. |
you do not know that fellow, but we do |
He is the most notorious liar in the |
whole country, and no twelve men who |
know his character can believe a word |
he says
So the prisoner escaped, as the jury
adhered TO their verdict.
The indiscrotion Of our first parents |
was mighty good thing for tailors and
dress makers.
A letter passed through the Point
Pleasant, W. Va, postofFce the other
day addressed as follows:
Roll me on at rolling rate,
To Gallipolis, Ohio State,
There put me down and let me be
Till Mary Ienkins ootls g.,