The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-07-04
Ole GsteILigsltGen:...
FATHERPH1L's COLLECTION
A Cathoi,c story-Wit. Humor and plcty


him, even In doing the most solemn duties
which agreed wonderfully with the devil
may.care spirit Of Paddy. Stiff and starch
ed formality in any way Is repuguant +
the very nature Of lrishmen. There ar
forms, 1t is true, and many in the Romlsl
Church, but they are not cold forms, bu
attractive rather, to a sensitive people; be
sides, believe those very forms when Oh
served the least formally, are the most in
tluential on the Irish.
With all his intrinsic worth, Father Phi
was, at the same time, a strange man II
exterior manners; for with an abundance
Of real piety, he had an abruptness Of dc
livery, and strange way Of mixing up ar
occasional remark 10 his congregation IL
the midst Of the celebration Of the mass
which might well startle a stranger; but
this very want Of formally made him be-
loved by the people, and they would do
ten times as much for Father Phil as for
tho severe Father Domirtck.
On the Sunday in question Father Phil
intended delivering an address 10 his flock
from the altar, urging them to the nece
sity OF bestirring themselves In the repairs
OF the chapel, which was in a very dflapi.
dated condition, and at one end let in the
rain through It's worn out thatCh. A sub.
scription was necessary; and to raise this
among a very impoverished people was no
easy matter. The weather happened to
be unfavOrable, which was most favorable
10 Father Pills purpose, for the rain
dropped its arguments through the roof
upon the kneeltng people below, in the
most convincing manner; and as they en-.
deavored to get out Of the wet, they press.
ed round the altar as much as they could,
fol, which they were reproved very smart.
ly by his Reverence In the very midst Of
the mass. These interruptions occurred
sometimes In the most serious places, pro.
ducinga ludicrous effect, OF which the
worthy Father was quite unconscious, in
his great anxiety to make the people re.
pair the chapel.
A big woman was elbowing her way to.
wards the rails OF the altar and Father
Phil, casting sidelong glance at her sent
her to the right.about, while he interrup.
ted his appeal to heaven to address her
thus:
".Agnw Del You'd betther jump over
the rails Of the althar, think. Go along
out O. that, theirs plenty O. room in the
chapel below there"
Then he would turn to the altar, and
proceed with the service, till, turning
again to the congregation, he perceived
some fresh offender. -
"0rate, futreS!- Will you mind what
| say to you, and so along out O. that,
there's room below there. Thrue, for
you, Mrs. Finn---forh him
10 be thramplin on you. Go along Darby
easy, down there and kneel in the rain
its pity you havn't a decent wonan's
cloak under you indeed 0rate fratresr
Then would the service proceed again,
till the shuttling Of feet edging out Of the
rain would disturb him, and casting a
backward glance, he would say,
II hear you there-can't you be quiet
and not be disturbin' my mass, you hay
thens"
Again he proceeded, till the crying Of a
child interrupted him, He looked around
quickly
you'd betther kill the child, think,
thramplin' on him, Lavery. Go out o
that-yOur conduct is scandalus DOmintS
rObiScum"
Again he turned to pray, and after some
time he made an interval in the service to
address his congregation on the subject OF
the repairs, and produced paper contain.
ing the names OF subscribers 10 that pious
work who had already contributed, by
way Of example 10 those who had not.
Here it is, said Father Phil; "here it
is, and no denying it-down in black and
white; but il they who give are down in
black, how much blaCker are those who
have not given at all! But | hope they
will be ashamed Of themselves when
how'd up those to honor who have con-
tributed TO the uphowlding OF the house
OF God. And isn't It ashamed O. your
selves you ought to be, to lave His house
in such condition? and doesn't it rain
Almost every Sunday as II He wished 10
remind you Of your dutyP aren't you wet
to the skin almost every Sunday? Oh, God
Is good to you 10 put you in mind OF your
duty, giving you such bitter cowlds that
you are coughing and sneezin' evOry Sun.
day 10 that degree that you can't hear the
blessed mass for comfort and benefit 10
you; and so you'll put o good thatch
on the place, and prevent the appearance
Of the evidence from heaven against you
every Sunday, which is condemniug you
before your faces, and behind your backs,
too, Tor don't ! see this minute a strame o
wather that might turn u mill, running
down MlCky MaCkaVOy's back, between
the collar Of his coat and his shirt
Here laugh ensued at the expense o.
AIicky Mackavoy, who certainly ,rdS undel
a very heavy drip from the impertec
roof.
"And is 1t laughin' you are, you hay
thens?' said Father Phil, reproving thu
merriment which he himself had purpose
ly created that he might reprove 1t
"Laughin' is 1t you are, at your backslid
ings and insensibility to the honor Of God
laughin' because when you come here L
be saved you are lost entirely with tn,
wet; and how, l ask you, are my word
Of comfort to enter your hearts when thu
rain is pouring down your backs at tn
same time? Sure l have no chance o
turning your hearts while you are unde
rain that might turn a mill-but onre pH
a good roof on the house, and will inun
date you with pietyl Maybe it's Fathe
Dominick you would like to have cominl
among you, who would grind your heart
TO powdher with his heavy words" Her
a low murmur Of dissent ran through tn
throng.l
Ala! ha! SO you wouldn't like It, l Sc
very well, very well take care then, 70
If l find you insensible to my moderat
reproois, you hard.hoarted haythens, yoI
malefactors and cruel Prosecutors, TIM
: won't put your hands in your pockets be
: cause your mild and quiet poor fool Of
pasthor has no tongue in his head! lisa!
your mild, quiet, poor fool OF pasthoI
for know my own faults partly, Got
: forgive me!) and can't spake 10 you a
, YOU deserve, you hard.liVing. vagabondf
that arc inGpnsible to your duties aS"yo
are 10 the weather, wish It was sugar Q
salt you were made Of, and then tho rail-
"a = 4.