The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-10
ENVOY,
WIT AND HUMOR.

MISSING men-Bad markSmen,
A HoME-sTRETCH-Over a mothers
knee.
CRATE sympathy-That given to
jailed criminals.
A HORSE, unlike man, is always pre-
pared to meet an oat
A ST. LOUIS clerk is named Gasbill.
Unhappy man, everybody disputes him.
4 SMALL boy and gun are harmless
when apart, but they make q terrible
combination.
Is IT not strange that man can be
on fire, and yet at the same time be
very much put out?
A HAPPY mother of male twins enthu-
siastically refers to her treasures as her
Sweet boy and boy"
ALONE exhibition-A poor female of
30 years or thereabouts who has never
received an offer OF marriage.
"THIs," said Augustus, as Angelina
sat in his lap, sweetly singing, this is
matin-knee performance, darling"
A WESTERN lawyer included in his
bill against his client: "To waking up
in the night and thinking about your
case, S."
A YOUNG man in Brooklyn boasts
that he has kissed his girl $50 times in
six hours and three laps, and thinks he
has won the match. 4
GIVE old maids" remarked Miss
Stibbens, Glove cats because we have
no husbands, and cats are almost as
treacherous as men,"
IT'S an easy thing to sing of spring
When the air is calm and breezy;
Ills sneezy thing of spring to sing
When your own head is wheezy.
-Hacke1,sack Republican.
Joy is shy bird, but when man
comes unexpected upon So bill in the
pocket of an old vest laid aside last win
ter it flaps it's wings and crows as loud
as anybody's chicken.
an YOUNG men sending spring poetry to
this Office will please inclose their names
and addresses, not for publication, but
as an evidence Of their insanity in case
they are ever arrested for murder
Philadelphia Chronicle.
! AMERICAN girls chewed up seventy
tons of gum last year. One-half of it
can be found to-day sticking under
mantel-shelves. The other half was
carried away by the young men who go
counting, and lost Turner's Falls Re-
porter; q.
Ola SURPRISE" is the name of new
hat with three-quarters of yard of
feathers hanging fran the right side. It
is SO called from the surprised manner
in which the husband exclaims "La~
when presented with the bill-Norris-
to1U11 Herald. 1t-
WHAT shall the Painting of the Flu
ture" be? is the all-engrossing question
nowadays. We are not at all particular,
as long as she doesn't rest her cheek on
our shoulder. We don't want our best
coat all busted with "ily-white. "-Ne,c
,Haue1a Register. t..
AN Irishman accosted gentleman on
the street, late at night, with a request
for the time. The gentleman, suspect
ing that Pat wished to snatch his watch,
gave him singing rap on the nose,
with the remark: 1T has just struck
'one!" fBe jabbers," retorted Pat, I'm
glad / didn't ak yez an hour ago!"
800 p ABOUT HAMMER. ss, ~
4. FL There was young lady named Hammer;
she had nose like bananner;
t.T She teached in a school,
Al she rid on mule,
! But she could never play on the pianner. 2
y She married Teller named Tanner,
"a j That carried the star-spangled banner; 5
But they fell out and ft--.4 .-..f. .
90 She's grass wilder yit,
- ~ An he drives a dray In Savanner. 500 ~
-Iac1angS.7 5e9 R6EGt@ II a.el =.
YOUNG Smythet-"What, not skating,
Mrs. .Marrable?p Mrs. Marrable IA fas-
cinating widow over nine-and-fo forty, but
who doesn't look IT'D NO; lam too old
for that sort of thing" Young Smythe
-9TToor old? What do you call too
DID, Mrs Marrable?" Mrs. Marrable
(modestly)-7 Don't you call % too old,
Mr.. Smythe? I do" ,.rsD ..,ac.r-
= A RECENT advertisement contains the
following - Ii the gentleman who keeps r
the shoe store with red head will re-
turn the umbrella of a young lady with
whalebone ribs and an iron handle to
the slate-roofed .grocer's shop, he will
hear of something to, his advantage, as :
the same is the. gift of deceased mother
now no more with the name engraved
upon it," nlEdg biog aat s'Yh4f s. bauo@
says now that kissing on the
lips must be abolished in the interest of
health, Most potent, grave and rever-
end seigniors, scholars and philosophers,
there are moments you know nothing
of, when asman don't care two cents for
science, and when he is going to plant
kisses. where they belong,iif the laws of
health are torn from Alpha to Beershe- b
ba. Stills1ater Linn herman. 3en4e 2lIa
THE GAY YOUNG PARAGRAPHER.
Twas gay young Photographer,
Who wrote an ancient squib
He was of wine quaffer,
This gay young Photographer,
And didn't mean to fib,
When he said this ancient squib
Was his own. For when glib
And gay young Photographer
Is at others jokes Laughter,
Like this gay young Photographer,
There are times when he will crib
very ancient squib,
ALL