Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-05-04


cold water as q punishment for
swearing happend to see passing his cage
one rainy day some dripping, drenched
chickens, and called out, "You miserable
fools, been swearing, eh2"
A Chicago exchange strikes the nail
fairly on the head: "Never go where you
are not wanted! If man wants you to
come to his place of business he will in
vite you through an advertisement. It is
wrong to intrude on privacy"
The distinction between liking and
loving was we'll made by little girl six
years old. She was eating an egg at
breakfast which she seemed to relish
very much. "Do you love it," asked her
aunt. "No," replied the child, with a
look of disgust. II like it. If loved
it should kiss it,
Two very old books at sale in New
York brought $500 apiece. The thought
is solemn one that someone in A. D.
s179 will bepaying half an income,
perhaps, for couple of Congressional
Records and Paterson Directory of 1878.
Patterson Press.
Pride is as loud beggar as want, and
a great deal more saucy. When you have
bought one fine thing, you must buy ten
more, that your appearance may be all
of piece; but it is easier to Suppress the
first desire than to satisIy all that follow
it.
Old gent (who firmly believes in COM
pulsory education) to cowboy; ooh, you
go to school, do you? Now, 1 dare say
you can tell me who it was that was
saved when the world was drowned, can't
you9" Cowboy; eyes, SIR; but forgit
his narnc.''
A gentleman addressed his servant:
"James, how is it that my butcher bills
are so large, and always have such bad
dinners9" 'Really, sir, I don't know, for
am sure we never have anything nice
in the kitchen that we don't send some
of It up to the par)or." Boston Globe.
"Well, old man." said friend to a
friend whom be had not seen for some
months, chow is your rheumatism2"
ooh, it will not bother me much longer,
if this weather holds,'' was the thought
full reply; lit is nearly cured" "That's
good news. What are you using?"
"Consumption.'''
Columbus avenue Sunday afternoon !:
Miserable street mucker to Snodkins, the
belt Of whose ulster was dragging: 81
say, Old Hoss, if you don't tighten up
your belly band you'll lose your blanket
(And Snodkins had to keep on looking
pleasant, as if he hadn't heard it.)-
Haapaqd Lompoon.
An Irishman accosted gentleman on
the street late at night with request for
the time. The gentleman, suspecting
that Pat wished to snatch his watch, gave
him a singing rap on the nose with the
remark: at has just struck onep' s'Be
ja5bers," reterted Pat, "l'm glad I didn't
ak yez an hour ago"
| "There was one thing my farm never
could raise,' said the old man, as he soft
| ly worried the roll of tobacco. and then
expectorated on the stove. And as the
statesmen who were sitting around the
cracker barrel patiently awaited his ex-
PLANTATION, he continued: "And that was
a mortgage. -Rockland Courier.
The man who was drafted during the
war and lost leg in railroad accident
while skeda6dling to Canada to escape
the clutches of the provost mar hal, will
apply for pension under the new act
He has rather lame claim, but not more
so than hundreds of others who seek 8
pension. Nowistoaon Herald.
lsTboDl1 GoJ fo~ froo Noo,,o1 =, on "a = -
old church member, suddenly carried
away by the eloquence of the preacher
give and twenty years have I been {
church member, and it has not cost MI
as many coppers." MAY the Lord for
give your stlngy soul!' said the preacher
A gentleman recently about to pay hi
doctors bill said "Well, doctor, as m,
little boy gave the measles to all m!
neighbours children, and as they we're at
tended by you, think you can afford, a
the very least, to deduct ten per centun
from he amount of my bill for the in
crease Of work we gave YOU"
A Yankee who had never paid NOR,
than twenty. five cents to see an exhibition
went to New York theatre one night t
see the "Forty Thieves" The ticket
seller charged him seventy-fve cents 70
r ticket. Passing the pasteboard back
he quietly remarked: "Keep it, mister
I don't want to see the other thirty nine,
t AMI out he marched.
1 A seedy- looking individual stepped in
to one Of our gentlemen's furniship
stores recently, and asked for a pair c
$ four. ply cuffs. The articles we're hand
ed him, and he examined them in du
4 bious sort of way, then remarked: use
:, here! These amt the right thing, 1 war
the four-ply kind, them that you Ca
!. turn four times without washing."-Bo'
i ton Courier.
In South Carolina negro was on tris
. for burglary, but it was proven that b
e crawled into the mill through hole j
the wall, unfastened the door, set tt
;, -four out, fastened the door again, an
y crawled out through the same hole Tt
. jury was instructed to acquit, as the1
was no breaking, SO they brought in tt
verdict: "We find for the defendan
- but we believe he stole the FOUR
( "You find this pretty cold weathe
e don't you2" was asked of Dutchms
d who seemed talt frozen. "Me
Krashus," he returned, ''you dakes n
e for a ply krashus fool2 You drinks
r might pc on a huntin.s barty, we're de
a might pc cold vedder. Mein gootnes
d dot vedder vas come hunting aroundt n
und finds me shust so soon as idt vas 8
rivf bier"
IT I think twas in September, if I RICH
~ ly now. remember, that heard knoc
n ing, knocking at my door; yes, kn1
= twas in September, for quite we'll I nc
10 remember he had been there fifty tim