Litchfield enquirer., 1879-01-09
CLIPPINGS.

The day after was hing day is one of sad irony.
 A western woman has lost two husbands by lightning She ought to marry conductor.
 The only unfavorable report about Grand fathers Clock is that it went ninety years on tick
 Father of adored one-''Then it comes to this, sir; you have no fortune, you have lost your appointment, you have no prospect of another, and you come to ask me for my daughters hand and fortune ?" ''No! Sup pose we put it this way, am unembarrassed by wealth, am free from the cares of business. and my future is irradiated by hope: therefore this is the crisis when can best devote myself to your daughter and enjoy that aff1uence with which you will crown our love-"
 A tourist, while passing through Stratford- on-Avon, saw rustic sitting fence. That's Shakespeare's house, isn't it ?' he asked, point ing to the building. "Yes" Ever been there?" No" How long has he been dead 9" Don't know" Many people come here?" "Yes ;lots. |" Been to the house ?" No; never been to the house." "What did he do?" Don't know" ''Br~ught up here ?" "Yes" "Did he write ?"' ''Oh, yes he writ. " "What was it. you must know ?" "Well." said the rustic, 'I think he writ for the Bible"
 'Now you Hamerican gents" said the Master of Ceremonies at Halifax to party of American visitors, ''afore you are hintroduced to is Hexcellency an CT Royal 'Ighness there's few rules to be hobserved. Don't expectorate hon the carpet has you're in the 'abit of doing at 'ome, you know, and don't keep your ats hal do ;,,I A,I vol ternor bowie-knivesi is halowed to be drawed IT the presence of is Hexcellency an Ter Royal 'lghness, which is what you're doing of in Congress continually. An you'll walk in for wards, an'you won't think of shaking 'ands with with Fer Royal '1ghness nor even with is Hex cellency; nor hOf course you won't haddress i'm as old hoss'nor old sardine. as h,f you was a talkin' to your President, you know You'll simply bow an hassume a hattitude of rever- ence, so far as you know low, and then retire backwards out of the royal presence"
 ''WITHoUT MALICE. During slavery Iown- ed one of the blackest as we'll as meanest negro men in South Arkansas. He was known as Crow Sam. 1 used to thrash Sam about twice a week. Steal! He'd steal from himself and then deny it. Well, when the war came on he was one of the first to turn against lie He went into the army and served till the sllrren- der. After peace was made moved over into an adjoining county, and went to work trying 10 repair my broken fortune. One day negro that I had working for me knocked down one of my horses which so enraged me that struck him saveral times with my cane He went a. way and returned with a constable, who sum- moned me to appear the next day before the magistrate Officers were not as numerous then as now, and the magistrates office was several miles away. Well, ST. when got there. who'd sAou'd 1 see on the bench but old Crow Sam When everything had been made ready, court was opened ,and old Sam. giving me searching look, remarked:-
 '"Peers that I've seed you afore"
 Hook here, Sam" said, II don't like to bemixed up this way, Try to settle this affair without maice."
 ''De law is gwine to hab it's direck course," said sam. Things hab kinder changed since we was in business togedder, but de principles of de nigger haven't revouted. Dis nigger is as big rascal as used to be- so Mars John Ill costa"