The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-12-18
VAKuETIES.

An i'll wind always finds something
to blow about.
"A breath of suspicion ruins a tenn
perance lecturer.
Hard wear-Tight boots.-Phila-
delphia Chronicle Herald
Its soap deferred that maketh the
heart sick-of the spectator.
Industry needs not wish, and he
that lives upon hope will die fasting.
"A stitch in time frequently saves
the entire garment.-Bnfalo Erpress.
Why a door-nail is any more dead
than a door must be because it has been
yure.
You should never give advice. If
the person to whom YOU offer it is wise
he doesn't need it, if he isn't he won't
take it.
-Peterjohn says if he could have his
way during life, he shouldn't care if his
will were contested after his DEATH
Boston Transcript.
In South Carolina statute pro-
vides that all persons having no rea-
sonable and lawful excuse shall attend
some religious service every Sunday.
"A mustard plaster is a good thing
in its place; but the best place SO far as
our experience goes, is to have the
mustard plaster on q ham sandwich.
The world didn't come to an end,
as predicted, but we haven't yet seen
anybody who paid his debts IN antici-
patton of the event--N. Y. E1press.
1t is happy provision of nature
that people do not know when they lose
their senses, and fools do not miss the
absence of brains.-NeU Orleans Pca-
yune.
New Orleans has depraved school
girl, who, instead of passing her gum
around for the other girls to chew on
swallows it herself when her jaws get
tired.
OF course, the journal who said it
doesn't mean anything when it says,
Common law is founded on common
sense. Other laws are made by Con-
gress.''
"A chap at Circleville, Ohio, smoked
pipe over an open keg of powder to
show how brave he was, and yet when
his wife called " Henryr from q back
gate he turned as white as snow.-Free
Press.
-" Death is the great commander"
says Boston paper. This will settle
q vexed question in many Detroit house.
holds. Heretofore it has been a hard
struggle to see who should boss the job.
Free Press.
"A country correspondent sends us
the following soul-horrowing conun-
drum. Why do pigs thrive better on
sour milk than they do on sweetp And
the answer is because they get more of
it-Lockport Union.
AN exchange published an article
boasting of "What a single bean can
produce" 1t is amazing. Fired from
q bean-shooter into a mans ear, it can
produce some of the worst language
man is capable of uttering.
Alfonso was obliged to borrow two
million dollars for his wedding expen-
ses. If fellow in this country could
borrow q couple of millions on such an
occasion the Boston Transcript thinks
there would not be a neglected spinster
from Maine to Texas.
Mamma: What's the matter,
darling? You don't seem pleased to
see me-" Precious Darling: mo, I
am not, mamma find you have gone
and engaged yourself to be married
again without my approval, when had
already promised you to one of Gerty's
unclesr'
When you see man with gun on
his shoulder and three dogs at his heels
making across the country, you needn't
feel bad for the rabbits. He'll miss a
crow or two, find a few frozen apples,
fall into a creek and return home be-
heving he has had a laundering big
time-Free Press
Prof. Proctor has been delivering
lecture in New York on " The I'm
mensity OF Space" Can Mr.. Proctor
tell what space is?-EUenisg Journal.
First tell him whether you mean three
EN-, thin, or hair space. albany Times.
Let him sit between two stout women
in q narrow-seated cutter.-Free Press.
S. T. S.-We are sorry that you
don't like the paper. We publish it
simply and solely to please you. We
should ask you to come down to the
Office and edit it, only that if you did
some iniquitous idiot might write to tell
you how much better he could do it
himself, and that would probably annoy
n naryOus DorsOn like vou-pkfcE