River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-04-10
Miscellaneous Items.
HE who by his biz would rise,
Must get up early and advertise"


An editors chair is like backtooth-
hard to fill
The nose is red, the lips are blue; the
weather is cold, and so are you.
Is remarkable how easy sled can
push boy up hill.
The human skeleton consists of more
than two hundred distinct bones.
He who would rise in the world, says
Josh Billings, must pay for the yeast.
Nearly every one has seen peanut
stand, but who ever saw one sit down.
Each perspiratory duct is one-fourth of
an inch in length, which will make the
aggregate length of the whole about nine
miles.
"Just nv luck" said waiting maid.
sadly "Here I am in family where
every one has love affair on hand and
leaves letters lying about open, and l
can't read"
"Pat. buy you trunk, TO put your
clothes In" said his Yankee companion.
eWhat, an 90 naked this cowld wealth
err" asked the honest spalpeen of Kill
larney.
1t would not be bad idea for fash
ionabls young clergymen to announce
from the pulpit just before beginning the
sermon, "Dear,y beloved, we are com
pIetely full on slippers and bookmarks,
but a trifle short on suspenders."
An honest HibeInian, trundling hand
cart containing all bis movables, was &C
costed By friend with: well, Patrick,
YOU are moving again, see" Faith ]
am" replied he. "The times are so hare
it's dale cheaper hiring hand carts than
paying rints."
She was lady passenger in one of the
transfer coaches which run from the Shoe
Fly depot, and after becoming tired Of
keeping still, she turned TO the driver and
asked ''How much farther does this hor
rid hill rum" John replied: clear to
the bottom, madam"
Mama, where do people go when they
die2"
my dear, can't tell you just where.
But don't you know2"
"How can I know, NeIlie9 Mama has
never died"
''Of course not; but haven't you stud
led geography"
The best temperature for house plants
is from As degrees at night to 10 degrees
during the day. If your plants should
at any time get nipped with frost, shower
them with very cold water, and keep
them in the shade for day or two
Furnace heat is the worst for plants, and
that from q wood stove the best. Keep
the air moist-a pan of water kept on
the stove, or damp towel hung on the
register will do this.
Whsteoash that nSJE Stick.-The Annapo
lis Gazette gives the following as a white
wash that viii stick" indoors and out,
and challenges any one 70 best II. Stake,
say one peck of lime, and while hot and
at the thickness OF cream, add quart Of
linseed oil and quarter Of pound Of
glue. Let ii stand half 8 day before US
ing. Rams will not wash IL of, For
Will ii proFs s1ch nuisance on interior
walls as the common whitewash. 1t
should, Of cJurre. be thinned with water
while using, as ordinarily.
Here is a warning TO men too mean TO
advertise. One of this description want
ed 10 sell some land, and so be put q
written notice In one of the hotels the
other daT. A man who was ineuiring
for small farm was referred TO the writ
ten notice. when be replied: i can't
buy land at fair price Of snF man who
does his advertising in this way. He'd
steal the fence, the pump handle and the
barn doors before he'd give up possess
ion.p
What 5 blessing = 8 household is q
merry, cheerful womsn-one whose spirit
is not affected by wet days, or little dis
appointments, or whose cream Of human
kindness does not sour in the sunshine Of
prosperity Such & woman II the lark /
est hours hrighfens the house like piece
of sunshiny weather. The magnetism Of
hea smiles, the electrical brightness Of |
her looks and movements iniegt every /
one. The children 20 10 school with q
sense Of something great to be achieved
her husband goes into the world IN . con- /
auerors spirit No matter how people /
annoy and worry hin all Gay, far of her
presence shines. and be whispers to him. 1
self. SAT home I shall hnd resi- 30 day /
By day she literally renews lis strength 1
and energy; and If you know man wlth |
a beaming face. s kind heart, sDd q pros
porous business. in nine cases ont 0f ten /
you viii find ne has wife Of this kind l