davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27
rhe s,vin witness.


Tom Gains was what We call a
swift witness. WheD Tom was for
a fellow he was for him all over, and
he was 80 friendly and conilding the
Judge didn't know what to do with
him. Last court Lawyer Branham
put Tom upon the stand to prove
that a drinking man couldn't re-
member what he did when he was
drunk. Tom had taken about two
drains that morning and was feeling
splendid. He swore straight out
that he couldn't.
The Judge didn't Ike that. lie
didn't like witnesses who were so
willing and familiar, and so he put
a few questions TO Tom from the
bench.
"Mr. Gains, weren't you drunk
yesterday [Sunday?"
"Fhey say | was, your honor
"And you don't remember it?n
'It's sorter like a dream, your
Honor; but l do remember that
was awfully sick last night"
"liow are you now, Mr.. Gains?'
81 am tolable well, ] thank you,
Judge, how do you do, yourself?''
and Tom bowed humbly, for he
thought the Judge was kindly i'm
quiring about his health.
When the Sheriff had quieted the
general hilarity, the Judge said:
"Mr. Gains, you were drunk yester-
day, which was Sunday. Now,
where did you find your whiskey2''
I'm the jug, Judge-right in the
jug"
"Well, sir, where was the jug?n
"Under the fOdder-stack, Judge;
I always kept il there, or In the
shuck pen; and, If your Honor ever
passes that way, it's free thing to-"
"Mr. Gains, you can retire, sir. i
believe you are the same man who
about thirty years ago testified in
this court house that Jim wilkins
bit his own ear of"
"They say did, Judge, but you
know ! was drunk, and Of course
don't remember il. You was de-
Tending Jack Boozer for biting of
Jim Wilkins ear, and you told me
that in the scrimmage Jack showed
Jim up agin the sharp edge of the
door and. cut il of; hut you see,
Judge, got drunk and forgot what
you told me, and 'spose that / did
swear that wilkins bit his ear of
himself; and il wasn't SO onreasona-
bic nOhow, for hc had the awfulest
mouth that ever was seed----didn't
he, Judge?"
"Mr. Gains, ] told you to sit down,
sir. Mr.. Sheriff, givcme the names.
of those gentlemen who areso hilari-
Ous; I'll see If can't stop their mer-
riment. Brother Branham put up
your next witness"
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27
Grant and the Germans.
Washington %. o. Sentinel.


Some of the leading Ohio German
Republican papers and politicians
have recently declared openly that
Grant cannot carry Ohio, if he
should be re-nominated, because the
| Germans would vote against him
on account of their anti-imperialis-
tic preiudices, and without the Ger
man votes the Republicans could
not carry Ohio.
That agrees with what we have
all along been maintaining, to-wit !:
| that Grant is the. weakest candidate
the Republicans can put in the field,
provided always that the Demo-
Gratis do not blunder, but will NOM
mate as their standard bearer
Thomas F. Bayard, who is inn
mensely popular with all true lib
erty-loYing people, and who would
get, in that event, almost every
German vote in the
South.
But there is something in the
above statement of the Ohio Ger
man Republican papers and leaders
that not merely will give just reas-
on for every German-American cit
izen to feel a certain pride and salts
faction, but will also prove to those
to the manor born that the Ameri-
can people have no cause to regret
seeing the Teutonic element so
strongly represented in the United
States, and that is that the German
Americans are unanimous in their
defense of the American republic
and can not be used in overthrowing
that republic or forming the present
popular government into central
lied despotism with man Of inn
perialistic tendencies or aspirations
for a life presidency at its head.
Those German-Americans still
remember their sad experiences
under an imperialistic government
i'm the old father-land.
Unlike many of our native ele-
ment, they well know where inn
perialistic government begins and
free government ceases. Glittering
military parades, professions and
receptions with "princely honOrs,"
which Grant loves so dearly, find
no favor with them-hence their
Discrimination to take any part in
the travelling Grant circus humbug.
There is another reason for the bad
understanding between Grant and
the German citizens, and that is
mutual one. Grant does not like
the Germans, and the latter do not
like him, He has at different times
shown his hatred of them, and un-
der his administration he has APP
pointed only a few to prominent
positions, as they were mostly of
the Jewish persuasion. Besides, a
considerable number of German
Americans, who had been appointed
by Lincoln and johnson, were re-
moved by him. We may, there
fore, safely assert that the animosi-
ties existing between Grant and
the Germans are both political and
personal.
There is no doubt about it, as it is
conceded now by Deacon Smith,
Murat Halstead, General Young
and other Republican leaders, that
o. , will go Democratic if Grant is
Nominated and the Democrats do
not again upset the milk bucket and
foOlishly select the wrong man as
their standard-bearer.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27

Whatever you do, do it well. a
job slighted, because il is apparent
/ ly unimportant, leads to habituaI
neglect, so that men degenerate, in
| sensibly, into bad workmen.
"That is a good rough job" said
foreman in our hearing, and he
meant that il WAS "A good piece OF
work not elegant in itself, but
strongly made and well put to-
gether.
Training the hand and eve TO do
work well leads individuals to form
correct habits in other respects, and
a good workman is in most cases Il
good citizen. No one need hope 20
rise above his present situation who
suffers small things to pass by un-
improved, or who neglects, meta
phorically speaking, TO pick up a
cent because it is not a dollar.
Some of the wisest lawmakers,
the best statesmen, the most gifted
artists, the most merciful judges,
the most ingenious mechanics, rose
from the great mass.
A rival of certain lawyer sought
tohumiliate him publicly by saying;
"You blacked my fathers boots
once" "Yes," replied the lawyer,
unabashed, "and ] did it we'll"
And because of his doing even
mean things well, he rose TO great
er.
Take heart, all who toll! all
youths in humble situations, all In
adverse circumstances, and those
who labor unappreciated. II ii be
but to drive the plow, strive 10 do
it well; if it be but 20 wax
thread, wax it we'll if only to
cut bolts, make good ones or t0
blow the bellows, keep the iron hot.
1t is attention to business that lifts
the feet higher up on the ladder.
Says the good Book: "Seost
thou a man diligent in his business,
he shall stand before kings lc
shall not stand before mean men
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27
Soldering Up.


Louisville is SOLDERING up after her
big spree, and as-she sits with her
aching head done up in towel and
considers what a figure she has cut
before the country, she ought to feel,
in the words of the penitant at the
mourner's bench, ''like a id lost
sinner" But little while ago she
was holding public meetings to de-
nounce Grants part in the rape of
the Presidency-the massing of
troops about the national capitol
and bringing bayonets to bear upon
the sovereign States of Louisiana,
Florida and South Carolina. Now
she throws open her gates and
shouts herself hOast over the trium-
phal entry of the greatest living
General" }" the pure patriot, and the
one who can bring peace to a dis
tracted country! Is this the same
Grant, who, while keeping perhaps
his own hands clear, permitted the
Belknaps, .the Caseys, the Williams
es and all the great horde of corrupt
Otfice-holders that he had put into
place and power, to prostitute the
public service to personal purposes,
and distinguish the eight years of
his administration as the most cor
rupt in the history of the country I?
Is this the same great General who
permitted his army TO be surprised
at Pittsburg Landing and was saved
from utter destruction by the death
of Johnston and the arrival Of Buell.?
Is this the patriot who had the Leg
iSlature of Louisiana dispersed at
the point of the hayOnet? ? In short,
is this the philosopher who gave
utterance to that almost divine in
vocation "Let us have peace,o and
the orator who thrilled an audience
with that most eloquent of all after
dinner speeches, ~ like your
gravy?" If so, by what Medean
process has he been changed into
what the Louisville orators picture
him? Isn't he, after all, the same
Grant as of old-the man of iron
will, of bulldog. tenacity, and a
mysterious way of holding his
mouth that Is accounted unto him
for great wisdom; the man who is
possessed of the trait of sticking to
his friends, be they honest men or
thieves; the man who has ever been
the enemy of the South, and the
man VINO is bumming around the
country in search of ga strong Gov
ernment" and a third term at its
head? And If this be the Grant
Louisville Is toadying to and show
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27
WHOLE NO. 2,3O1.

New Years table, do hereby earn.
estly appeal to the ladies Of the cit
les named and throughout the cOun-
try to abstain from the practise Of
tempting men To Odrunkenness by Of
fering excess with hands which
ought to restrain this sO-called fash-
ionable custom, and we beg In the
name Of Christianity, sObrlety and
good order that all ladies unite with
us, that By our combined influence
w9 may, If possible, do away with
this custom, substitnting wholesome
and harmless beverages and h0spi-
talities on that day which ought to
be a day Of good resolves, and NOR
al advancement. II appropriate
forms OF a pledge "nOt to furnish In
toxicating beverages on New Years
day" are sent 10 our address bv said
society, we will sigtl Que and exert
our influence To caltse others 20 sign
them and place them upon their
New Years table.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27


To avoid miss always TAX
a widow.
The English home ruler-Th,
lady of the house.
Going out with the tied-a wed
ding party leaving the church.
"What is marriage?" some wo
man the more and one man the less.
A facetious exchange prints mar
riage under the heading "Canned
Fruit"
a Boston man broke off his mar
riage with young lady because she
spelt hugging with one g.
A recent obituary notice says:
"Mr. Smith was an estimable citi-
zen. He died with perfect resigna-
ton. He had recently been mar
ried."
AS is the golden tress of hair to
butter, SO are unkind words from
the ripe lips Ofa beautiful woman.
doctor, examine my tongue, I"
said she, ''and tell me what need. :"
"Rest, rest, madam; complete rest!"
Many rural maid finds felicity
in sitting on a three legged stool on
the off side of q muley COW dream-
ing of love.
When woman promenades che
streets leading dog, it looks rs IL
she couldn't get anything else on
her string.
There is Spanish proverb which
says: "When you choose Il wife,
shut your eyes and commend your
soul to God"
81 should have no objection"
said a henpecked husband, "to my
wife's having the last word, if i
could only be assured that it was
the last
Don't these cold, clear moonlight
winter evenings remind you of how
you used to go home from singing
school with another feller's girl, and
how he used to follow you and lay
for you on your way home, with
evil intents in his heart.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27
AvaInabIe servant

Paddy said that the toad was "a
"beautiful bird, " and realty there il
is nothing 50 very Objectionable
about the little fellow, who II Ger
tainly very useful ia llisway. YOad-
live upon beetles, bugs, flies, gmhs.
and such small game. They aiv
easily tanned, and will learn to ac-
company a weeder about the garden
and pick up such moTsels as squash
bugs, rOsebugs, cut worms and pOtg-
tO-beetles as are thrown them. A
toad has been known 70 put away
within him over a hundred differ
ent kinds Of bugs and fiies, and then
wink for more. Such services as
this surely ought 10 be recognized,
and such servant accommodated
with board and lodging ia the gar
den. No animal is smoreinotiensive
or minds his own business more
closely. He Il a valued assistant,
and should by al means be en-
cOuraged.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27
soIr-RespeeI.

lie was man and a thoroughly
sound one who gave the following
to print:
"Always remember no one can
debase you but yourself. SANDER,
satire, falsehood, iniustice-thesc
can never rob you of your manhood.
Men may lie about you, they may
cherish suspicious manifold, they
may denounce you, they may make
your falling the target of their wit
or cruelty; never be alarmed
never swerve an inch from the line
your judgement and conscience have
marked out for sou. They cannot
by all their efforts take away your
knowledge OF yourself, the purity of
your character and the generosity
Of your nature. While these are
left you are in point of fact I'M
harmed"
There Is a volume In this para
graph which all--youth, middle
age, and declining years-may read
and study with profit.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27
The WY 90 Prn.perlsr.

over in South Carolina they held
fair at Abbeville, the other day,
and Wade Hampton made n speech
in which he recommended To the
State a development Of her re-
sources as the only means to assure
prosperity and happiness. He, ia
other words, advised the people 20
pay less attention TO politics and
more 10 the work of their farms.
He told them. il they would take
care ef the land the State would
take care Of its rights, and that the
true doctrine of State rights con-
sisted IN independent citizens all
living in political equality. He
told them further that they ought
TO respect the rights of the negroes,
pay them good wages, make them
feel independent, let them vote as
thoy please, and try to add 10 their
happiness in every possible way, so
as 20 cndeaT them TO the State.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27

WHEN interviewed by a reporter
from the Appeal a few days since,
Hon. Casey Young, of the Memphis
District, said: 81 have hopes that
the Democrats will elect the next
President. The outlook is brighter
now than at any time since the
war. The great conservative ele-
ments in the country, as well as the
different factions in the Democracy,
seem gradually but surely uniting
in favor of the greatest Of Americas
Democratic statesman, Thomas +.
Bayard. If we nominate him and
a Western man for Vice President,
I have no doubt they will get into
the White House by an overwhelm-
ing majority"
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27
No WING on Ne,r Ycnr.
New York star.

Some of the lady membersof the
Business Meas Society for the en-
couragement Of Moderation are per-
fecting an organization to disc0ur-
age drunkenness. They request the
Business Mems Society to furnish
them with two forms Of pledge TO
be signed by ladies, first, 90 have no
Intoxicating beverages on New Year
occasions, and to display the New
Years pledge on the table; second,
to drink nothing Intoxicating at
lunch or dinner, In company with
gentlemen.
The following appeal Is being
largely signed by the ladies:
We, the undersigned ladies of
New York and Bro0klyn, approx
ing Of the efforts sjeihg put forth by
the lady members 0f your society to
discourage the use Of wine or other
intoxicating beverages upon the
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27
Democratic ana Republican ItuIs
COntrRstcd.

The message of GOV. simpson, of
South Carolina, shows that of the
ID, ,463 pupils attending the public
schools of that State In 1879 there
were $4,000 colored children, more
than ever before enrolled In any
one year, and that the attendance Of
this class of scholars was 45 per cent.
greater than under any past radical
administration. Crime has dimin-
ished ut least one-thiTd under DEM
Ocratic management, and the eN-
penses of the government are near
ly as low as before the war, the cost
of the executive, legislative and iu-
dicial departments for 1879 being
only Sl2i, $50 as against $3jl 600 in
1875, which was the lowest annual
expenditure of the caTpct-bag dynas-
ty. These statistics demonstrate,
beyond controversy, the growth OF
a healthier public sentiment, in
creased efficiency in the manage
ment Of public affairs, and the rapid
abatement of the evils that held
sway of the people during the long
years OF a mis-namcd reconstruc-
ton.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27

A BOLD bad burglar recently
broke into the house of an editor, in
the watches Of the night. The ed
itor awakened and questioned the
intruder: "What do you here ?
What look you for;' Said the bur-
glar gruffly, "MOney." "Hold on
a minute," quoth the editor, sand
[ will help you; I've been looking
myself for it ten years, but perhaps
the two of us may have better luck. /"
Then was the burglar dlsgusted, but
the editor called 1t q joke and in
sisted that the burglar ought to set
'onl up.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27

MoLL1E McCARTHY.-Tbis marc,
not unknown TO fame, has Just add
cd to her reputation by another
grand feat. N Chicago on the 25th
Of June she won the "Garden City
Cup Stake" for ali ages; $50 en-
trance play or pay, Sl 900 added,
500 20 second and 500 10 third;
dash two and quarter miles. She
beat Dave Moore, Edinburg, Janet
Cammie T., Solicitor, McHenry and
other noted horses. There were
twelve starters.
The little California mare !, fast
recovering the reputation lost here
"a year ago. Probably two and "a
quarter miles il her distance, for at
that distance she held her own well
against the great Ten Brocck. - I'm
Hler's Home .J0uTUTi.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27

You have put off long enough,
giving your wife that watch and
Chain, so, go to Cookies, get 1t and
make her Christmas Present of 1t
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27

A FRANiIFoRr man who went to
the Grant show In Louisville, hoped
that some artist would describe him
az ''having n hang-dog look an,
feeling a a-d sight meaner than
looked.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27

Postage Free to all subscribers in the
United States or Capada.
The Animal VOLUMES of HARPER'S WEEK
y, meat cloth binding will be sent by
mail postage paid, or by press T1tts OF
pense fproyided the freight does not exceed
one dollar per volume), for 81 90 each. A
complete Set, comprising Twenty-three
Volumes, sent on receipt of cash at the rate
of So % per volume, freight at expense OF
purchaser.
Cloth Eases for each volume. suitable for
binding, Will be sent by mail, postpaid, on
receipt OF 81 90 each.
Rennittances should be made by Post-Of-
flee Money Order or Draft, to avoid chance
OF loss.
Newspapers are not to copy this advertise
& BROTHERS.
Address HARPER & BROTHERS, New
York.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27

ering her adulation upon, does it
not all simply go to prove the truth
in Puck = exclamation what fools
these nortals be2"
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27
1890
HARPER'S BAZAR.
ILLUSTRATED.


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journal for the household.
Every Nulnber furnishes the latest in
formation IN rtssIrd to Fashions in dress ana
ornament, the nswcSt and most approved
l,afferrls with descriptive articles derived
from authentic and original sources; while
its Stori s, Poems and Essays on Social and
Domestic Topics, give variety TO Its coll
umns.
The Volumes o. the Bazaar begin with the
first Number for January OF each year.
WheD no time Is mentioned II Will be under
stood that the subscriber wishes to COM
mence with tine Number next after the re-
eeipt of order.
HAlsPER's PERIODICALS.
HARPER's MAGAZINE, One Year "a 90
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The Annual Volumes of HARPER's Bazaar,
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ON receipt of cash at the rate OF 80 70 per vol
ume, freight at expense of purchaser.
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Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27

1 JUDGMENTS FOR 1880 ONLY
Re Thirteen Numbers of HAsPE<s
YOUNG PEOPLE will he furnished 10 every
yearly subscriber to HARPER's WEEKLY for
1880; or, HARPER's YOUNG PEOPLE and
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first Number OF HARPEE'S WEEKLY for
January, 1880, on reeeipt of IS % tor the two
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Newspapers are not to copy this advertise
& BROTHERS.
Address HARPER & BROTHERS, New
York.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27
BE SURF

And try V. L. WILLIAMS, the aoe man,
for Boots, Shoes, Hats, Caps, et., before
buying elsewhere. Wese the Bst goods,
in latest styles, and at the vey lowest
prices No. % Franklin Street,
Clarksvill, Tenn
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27
$780,
Harper's Weekly
ILLUSTRATED

This periodical has always, by its able and
scholarly discussions of the questions OF the
day as well as by its illustrations-wh
are prepared by the best artists-exerted q
most powerful and beneficial influence upon
the public mind.
The weight Oflts influence Will always be
found on the side of morality, enlightenment,
and refinement.
The Volumes ofthe Weekly begin with the
first Number for January of each year.
When no time is mentioned, it will be under
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Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-12-27
Are now receiving their mammdh stock of
Dry Good, Carpets, Clothing, Boots Shoes
Hats, Etc

Grand opening of Dress Goods, embracing many new
novelties in Silk and Wool fabrics. Elegant Brocade
Satns and Silks in the shades of Bordaux-Dregs OF
Wine Gend arme, Navy, etc. Beautiful French Plaid and
Striped Satineens OF the atest leaders Of Partisan
fashions Handsome English novelties for overdresses and
trimmings Black and coored Silk Vevet in all OF the
new shades Brocade and plain Veveeens all colors.
Satin and Velvet stripes for trimming Silk dresses Col
ored Satins and Silks in all coors Elegant stock Black
Silk Gras Fringes from soc to Sl50 per yard with head
ing to match.
QUERY-Why should go to Rice, Broaddus & Co. to
buy my Dresses?
ANswER-because | can find the handsomest stock, at
lowest prices to selectr FROM and get all the trimming
MATCH and time and money by going to headquar
ters at once
Goods
CORSETS.
Don't fail elegant and varied stock of Ladies'
Gents and Misses Linen Handkerchiefs BE and
1 20 and % cent numbers We don't think they
can be beat this side of New York We give