The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1879-09-11
PITH AND POINT.

THE only place where the bald-heads
do not struggle for the front seats is in
the Indian country Chicago Tribune.
IT is evident that the earth is feminine
from the persistence with which she re-
fuses to tell her age.
The clock, like jolly fellow, always
has round face.--Waterloo Od;ercer.
And is regular beat, always going on
tick.-1he People.
ABOUT the hardest thing fellow kan
do IL to spark two gals at one time and
preserve good average. Try it.-Josh
Billings.
EAT oysters only in the months that
have an q r. in their names, and drink
whisky only in the months that have u
ssk'' in their mes.-Albany Journal
STUDENT, fresh from college, to con
ductor: g. wish to get on the penul-
innate carr Conductor: awe have no
peanut car; you can take the smoker.
Mutually disguised.
DON'T ever whip your baby boy
Till he's old enough to spank,
| Don't force him to the treadmill work,
Till he can turn the crank
Don't attempt to air your knowledge
Till you're old enough to know,
/ That potatoes don't amount to much
/ Till they've had time to grow.
He was disgllsted boy He had ex-
ercised great caution and had finally
succeeded in crawling, unobseryed, un-
der the canvas into the tent. And he
found it was not a circus but revival
meeting in progress.
WHEN an editor finds that q cow has
got into the yard and has eaten off one
leg of his white trousers, which were on
the clothes-line, he goes to his Office and
writes an editorial on The Gloomy
Outlook -
THE three proudest moments OF y
mans life, between the cradle and the
grave, are when he gets his first pair of
red-top boots, when the girls first call
him aMister, > and when the doctor tells
him it's boy.-Stenbenriile Herald
EVERY time man is seen coming out
of Il saloon he gets the credit of having
taken glass of rum, though he drank
nothing but lemonade Better far go to
church, as every time q man is seen
coming out of a sacred edifice he gets the
, credit of being religious, although he
may have been plotting any number OF
,, financial eccentricities all through the
Sermon Cincinnati Enquirer. s@ H5;
SMALL girl, very harshly, to her doll
in toy carriage, dolly having tumbled
from the seat: e Sit right up, you hor-
, rid old thing. Don't you dare do that
!, again, or I'll whip YOU" Seeing a
passer, who had approached unobserved
. She modified her voice and continued IN
:. dulcet tones: "Now sit up straight
! darling, and be careful not to fall ant
= E,,.+ .,.,,rsaIe o,coH HuiJ
: BASEBALL definitions: The righ
: field-the field of duty. A base hit
q a blow below the belt. A dead ball
: dancing without music. A good catch
:. one of the Rothschild girls. Put on tn,
e first-the man who gets April fooled
Y Neves- reaches his second-the man wh'
: refuses to fight duel. The champion
e pitcher-the pitcher that goes often t.
u fountain and remains sunbroken.-At At6an!
{, Erening Journal.
Il THEY had an amateur brass band at
( funeral while ago, and when they ha'
/, sauelched out the ssSweet By-and-By
l, at the grave-side, the minister in his ad
1t dress said that 'the deceased was i
Is one respect most fortunate in bein
r called thus early That was all h
said, but the mourners grinned, and tn
amateurs think that ssblamed sarcasl
; is Internally out of place at funera