Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-06-15
Wit and Humor.

/
A lmonarch Of the seize--the sheriff.
To hit a man on the head is q, mob
knocktious proceeding. ass5 j!agl .s6|
= A fat cog lying on q front stoop is
good boarding house advertisement. sifl&
Phey have had fourteen Opponents
within q year at Akron. It is becoming
Akronic evil there. ,q.JI .sfa
An ,Ifishman who was trifie slight
headed" said he had ''pulled,more at the
Cork than he could Kerry"
When COW kicked man to death
in Ohio last week, mule stood by and
laughed himself to fits. -.
When the little frog was scooped up
from the spring he found himself within
the pail of civilization. b.
Lettuce is in market, Also three
new and handsome. styles of bilious pills
of a very analytical tendency.
The Lewiston Gaszetts knows a i'd
dler who "draws the hairs Of the equine
over the intestines Of the feline in a most
mastery manner y 9i -"
The Cleveland Voice makes this re-
ply to scientific inquirer: ''You are
worng; trachina do not infect pig-iron;
you can continue to eat the latter with
impunity.' aa,. NM /.
| William Augustus to sleepy room
mate: "Come John Henry, why don't
you get up with the lark, as do?'' John
| Henry, grimly: ~'sBeen up with him all
night" aa. f5S@
The newest dining tables are quare,
the round extension table being unfash-
ionable. The new style is more appro-
pirate for a square meal ~ tG
Free kirk elder preparatory to pre-
! senting tract): s'My friend do you
know the chief end Of man2' Piper
(innocently): Ma, didna mind the
chune; can We no whustle it,"
why asks the Wheeling Leader,
''don't some one write song on the first
f1y of summer?' Because the fly wont
hold still long enough for any one to
write a song on it. t
| There are men in this country who
know something about the size of world
| like this, but there are plenty of others
who imagine the world contracts to an
acre lot every time they go to bed.-Fret
Press. = ~ .a2t
The hens in Fair Haven have such free
access to oyster shells, shell lime, etc.
that cold chisel is needed to chip the
way from the outside Of their eggs to the
yolk. This is not a hard boiled story
Neao Hauea Reo:ster..
The time is near at hand when a glass
of water, favored with ,OO0OO1 cent.
worth Of lemon extract, and impregnatec
with 100000 cents worth Of carbonic acie
gas, is to fetch 10 cents at the druggist
counter Jersey CITY Journal
A public lecturer fell on the stage in In
diana last week and the udience hisset
him, believing him to be intoxicated; blu
when it was announced that the man wa
dead the audience repented its hasty cen
sure, and then the applause was deafen
, ing. -# sss@". a s5-"
! Drilling her class in poetry, the teache
, quoted from the familiar lines of Tenny
son: "You must wake and call me ear
ly, call me early, mother, dear" Now,
, she asked, "why did the girl want to b
called early?" "Don't know" reptile!
Q Tommy, sunless it was because that wa
o her name" mo $50. -. b.
e The compositor who was told he might
I when setting up speech, insert cloud ar
/. plause" or 'tcheers'' in order to fill out til
l. line, was summarily discharged when h
I, made the application general, and set u
n an obituary notice as follows: The ar
n nounccment was made yesterday that OF
e highly respected citizen, Mr., fell dea
It in the street. Loud applause, etc.,
a A clergyman of an original turn (
5. mind in passing by q parishioner's sho]
&c and, IN order to emphasize great NOR;
n lesson. bounds suddenly IN, cryin!
'Roo!' Naturally, the parishionel start
EsYou did not expect to have me call
! 81 did not, by blessed sight, "su]
N pose had been death-where would yc
IS have been9' Chaw on that" and IL
re excellent Clergyman vahishes.
u u On recent trip of one of the steame
~, -, running to San Francisco bread was serve
- - at dinner one day which tasted strong
- - of coal oil The captain afterward askt
~ the baker if he did not know that kerosel
). had got into the flour. He admitted tn
N, N. he did. "sWhy didn't you feed the flo
y to the chickens, then, was asked. ooh
q he replied, II was afraid it would k
s, 'em."
Ve Two old Texas rangers who had iu
or helped to bury neighbor were TALK,
T about religion, and one asked the 9th
he how pious he thought it vas possible
man to get in this world, if he was
r. real earnest. "Wa'al," said the other
py tlectiyely, II think eff a man gets soft
in can swop steers or trade horses wjtho
Twin ,ot no kotfor mill c,,+ for thu hat.