West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1879-02-01
WAITS AND WnIMS.

A KENTUCKY horse called "Bob Lee"
drives his masters cow to water and
brings her back as carefully as any man
could.
No one is 40 greatly to be feared as
the man who is willing to tell you allh
knows, because the chances are that he
will tell you great deal more.
A RLINp rcsidcntof Bloomington, ILL.,,
has had his cyosight restored by the
shock of pouring ice water on his head
from pitcher held some feet above him.
TINS is hospitablo age. We are
styled guests of the man who, in con
sidcration of dollars, undertakes to have
our meals cooked and our crockery
washed.
NoruNG conduces more TO n calm,
unrutlled view of life and n philosophic
indifference to praise or ccnsure than
iirmly-rootcd conviction of the stupidity
of the general public.
OVER i'm Kentucky, when mule gets
50 lazy that he won't work more than
nine or ten hours day, they trim his
ears down and sell him TO some Chicago
man for carriage horse
NEARLY one hundred men were hung
in this country i'm 1878. If the figure
had been one thousand no one would
have been surprised, unless at the idea
that justice was being done.
A New YORK butcher has been very
successful i'm selling horse meat for ven
ison and the officers have been very sue
ccssful in getting him where neither
horses nor deer can cick him.
A WIsCoNsIN student said, in re-
sponsc to "A roprooi for the lowness Of
his position i'm the class: &" Well Pro-
icssor, never mind. ! presume ! am IA
much to blame as you are"
lF you want to cmigratc To cheap
place so to Siberia. In that country
horse is worth 80, "A chicken four cents,
and you can raise the parlor window
and shoot all the bears you want.
THE custom i'm Texas OF carrying re-
yolvers was illustrated i'm san Antonio
when chained Mexican lion in show
seized a little girl. Fourteen rcvolvers
were quickly cmptied into the brute.
THE Mayor of Georgia town, no
young that il possesses no JAIL had two
prisoners put under wagon box turned
upside down ON the ground and secured
them by placing two cotton bales on top.
MIR JOAQUIN MILLER announces
whom he is attached, entitled Merinda,
is standing forever under fir tree but
fails 10 say how fir the tree is Ddnbury
Nrrs.
A GRAND national exhibition will be
held in Moscow in 1880, which will
probably bc accompanied by great fes-
tivitics, rs il will be the twenty fifth an
niyersary Of the emperor's accession to
the throne.
"PmL, my jewel" said Pat, "Im
mighty sorry yo can't dine with me to-
day Arrah, and why can't / dine
with yc" said the astonished Phil.
" Becau e, my dear" returned Pat, al
haven't asked ye "A yet"
THOMAS CARPENTER, horse trainer
Of Providence, recently died, and three
wives trotted match for the prize of his
estate. Contrary TO turf rules, the court
gave the money 10 the contestant who
made the longest time.
POLICE OFElCER LANGLEY, Of New
Haven, has been fined two days pay for
taking of one Of his boots and going TO
sleep Will policeman ever learn 20
never pull of his boots until after he
has got asleep Danbury Ne,Os.
IE spite Of the saying about "The
better the day, the better the deed" the
Indiana courts have ruled that where n
man gives a church his obligation at n
Sunday night debt-raising, payment
thereof cannot be enforced ut law.
YouyG Jenny and Jessy sat mute on a stio,
Says Jenny, " In vain time in cooling lOse
] lrau't get kiss nor awOrd nor smile
Come can't you say bOl TO a goose ~
says Jessy, don't want 10 hurt you my dear,
or id say bpl To- you. You're 10 slow,
If you can't take q kiss Without asking, fear
shall have TO tay goose ~ boau
POrf Chstfcr Journal
lr takes n long time for news TO travel
% Chicago. The JOVrHai says: "The
Ford Iheater AZ Washington i'm which
Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, has
been transformed into a medical mu-
scum" This event occurred, we believe,
about eight or ten years age.
EDITOR ADDS, of the Brewster Stan
dard, was at "a hog-guessing bee the other
day, and guessed the exact weight Of the
animal at the first time. II requires
more intellect 20 be an editor now than
IL Iid n hundred years agO.--Danbury
Nsvs
Nor all the Gddy pleasures Of life are
confined to- the city. I'm the little vii
Iaec of sandy Hook, last Sunday, a man
sac ou something he did not understand,
and ON opening the pew cushion found
q pair of scissors which his wife lost sew
eral yclrs ago.