The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-08-14
THE coon hoy AT THE PICNIC.


a Unique Description of Him In the
V~ernAcnIAr.
Detroit Free Pres.
A good boy comes home from the picnic
clean discouraged and badly mashed. In.
deed, he is OiLener brought home dead.
The bad boy has a whooping old time
from the very outset, and returns home
chuck full Of figs and candy and enthusi.
asm to go again. When the good boys
dad has made up his mind to take the
family to q picnic on come shady island
or distant shore, the boy doesn't Jump up
and declare that he won't wear white
pants, or that he is bound 10 20 bare
footed, or that he must have half a dollar
in cash and q revolver. On the contrary,
the good boys chin is at rest; he is in his
mothers hands, aid he trusts her with
all arrangements regarding his sacred per
son and property. Before leaving home
the good boy is thus solemnly addressed
by his devoted mother, and tie address"
is accepted, adopted and filed by his re-
spected father, who was q boy onCe him.
self.
snow, then, young man, we are going
to q Sunday School picnic, aud | want to
say q few words to you. II you lose four
hat on the cars Ill box your ears till they
ring! II you don't stay right with me and.
your father I'll lick you before all the peo-
pie! II you sit on the grass and stain
those pants you know what you'll get! II
you dare to get into a boat, go into the
water, shoot q pistol, climb q tree, wrestle
n boy or teaSe your father for money 10
buy candy or lemonade, I'll take your hide
of and hang 1t on the fence the very min.
ute We get home!"
That's the music the good boy has 10
face when he starts for n picnic, and II he
doesn't start out with smiling face and
buoyant step he may get his ears cuiFed
before he reaches the depot. II any one
has TO stand up in the cars it ia the good
boy. II there are any cinders flying they
settle on the good boys white pants and
hat and lodge in his eyes. II any one falls
flat on the platform or into the mud on
the getting off place III is the good boy,
while the bad b0y-who has come all the way
on the roof Of the car, having dead loads Of
fun, meets with slightest accident as
he ascends. On the contrary, he is almost
certain to find a basket Of luncheon which
no n claims, and he runs his chance OF
picking up gold.headed canes, bottles Of
~gipger.ale, pocket-books and watches IN
the way over 10 the grove.
The good boys father, on reaching tho
grove, buys himself a glass o~ilenonade 10
get the dustout Of his throat and follows
1t with q dish Office cream to cool his sys.
TEN, The good boy himself isn't supposed
10 have any dust in his throa, or any IN.
tenn TO coOlof. II he is very thirsty he
can drink incorporating his mother
doesn't catch him at It. The bad bow skins
up a tree, hangs by his heels, findsa bird's
nest, eats ~slippery.elm and June.berries,
and the good boy must sit on q cracker
box and watch the family umbrella. The
good boys mother braces up with a
draught OF currant wine, and his father
takes some ginger ale to preventsuustroke
aud then retires to q shady spot 10 smoke
a cigar. II the good boy feels like
s%Quandering. tho old.fashioned penny he
has had in his bank" for seven Tong
years, one look from his mother freezes
him 10 that cracker box so fast that a
pony couldn't draw him Of.
The bad boy has at least fifty cents 10
spend as he pleases. He gets a boat: he
goes oiEswiTming; he throws stones; he
swings on 9 wild grapevine; he climbs
hills and rocks and slides down banks,and
although some deacon with a iace M
solemn as the garrett window in a deserted
tannery predicts that he will be killed or
drowned, he is the ~livellest one Of the lot
when the party makes ready for the home.
ward trip.
Instances have been known where A
good boy evaded his mothers eve and
bought q popcorn ball, but II always
choked him. II he dared to climb q tree