Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1879-02-06

said: "Henry Winter Davis Sprlgglns, them
"ere eggs are mine; the hens what laid 'em
are mine; the corn what fed 'em was mine,
and I'se going to have trail on this ere dress
as long as Betsy Gowen's, if every toe on your
foot turne into gumbiles. Now, shut! And
you, youngster, yank off four yards Of that
ERE calico, or you will hear humble bee a
buzzin."
The old man shut, and the clerk yanked
off the calico.
EvERYBoDY's ExPERIENCE.-A story is
told of one of the grand jurors from North
field, VT, in attendance upon the last term of
court at Montpelier He was afraid that he
would not awake in time to take the six
o'clock train for the capital, which he had
talked over with his wife on retiring.
He had just got into sound sleep when his
faithful spouse woke him, suggesting that it
must be time to get up. He did, found it was
only midnight, and retired again. Soon he
was again aroused, and this time upon consult
ing the clock, it proved to be only 2 A. M.
Somwhat disgusted and angered at being so
often broken of his slumbers, he again sought
his couch, admonishing his wife thus: "Look
here, you keep your elbow out Of my back
and your mouth out of my ear till morning" :"
Feeling herself relieved of any further re-
sponsibility, she went to sleep for good and left
her lord and master to wake when he chose,
which he did at o'clock. Thinking it would
not pay to try to get any more sleep, he built
fire, put on his overcoat and hat, took his
valise in his hand, and sat down before the hre
for the few minutes.
Meanwhile, his wife slumbered on until
o'clock, when she awoke to find him gone,
whereat she felt quite badly, saying she inten-
ded to have got him warm breakfast. Leis-
urely proceeding to dress herself, she sought
the kitchen, where, to her astonishment she
Deheld her husband sitting bolt upright in his
chair before the stove, fast asleep. with the
train gone over an hour.
A LANDLORDS ERRoR.-A few days ago,
during one of his rounds through his palatial
hotel, the landlord entered room suddenly
and discovered a window-washer leisurely en-
gagged in reading newspaper. Being very
active himself, he had no use for lazy man,
or one who Sights his work. He discharged
the washer on the spot, and ordered him to 60
to the office for his pay. The man obeyed,
got his money, went to his room on the upper
floor, arrayed himself in his Sunday suit,
packed his duds, and descended to the SER
wants apartment to take leave of his former
associates About this time Mr.. Palmer en-
tered, but didn't recognize his quondam en-
ployee in his store clothes.
"Here, my man, you look as tho there was
good work in you do you want job?"
The ex-washer, somewhat surprised, admit
ted that he stood in need of one.
"Can you wash windows?"
The man allowed he could.
"Well," said Mr.. Palmer, GIVE just dis
charged a man who had been doing that sort
of work. I paid him 500 month, but if you
will take the place and 60 right to work I'll
pay you $22.
The position was quietly accepted, and in
half an hour the discharged employee was
scrubbing away in the same old room.
PAYING FOR HIS WH1srLE.-Not many
years ago, when lofty building was on the
point of completion, the mason who was fin
ishing the highest portion was in the habit Of
whistling to the laborer who was attending
him, whenever he wanted fresh supply of
lime, and, as the scaffold on which he wrought
was rather small, this occurred very often
during days work. A joiner, who was ft-
ting in window Immediately underneath, no.
ticing Pat answer dutifully to every whistle
from the mason, thought of playing trick
on him by initiating the whistle, and thus
brought him up with hodful of lime when
there was no room for it. The mason told
Pat that he had not whistled, 80 he had no
other alternative than to trudge back with his
load. This having occurred for the third
time during one day, Pat thought he would
watch to hear where the whistle came from.
He had not waited long, with the hod on his
shoulder, when he heard the identical whistle
directly underneath where he stood, and lean.
ing over, he saw the head Of the joiner pro.
truding out of the window Immediately below.
Pat, without more ado, emptied the hod right
over the whistler's head. The joiner yelled
and spluttered while attempting to clear him
self from the adhesive mass, and, in the midst
of his confusion, heard Paddy above shouting
at the top of his voice: "Whistle when you
want more mortar"
Doctor AND THEoLoGIAN-In the same
town with very orthodox divine, Rev. DIR.
Emmons, lived the very uHorthodox and Uni
yersalist physician, DIR. Bugbee. One morn
ing they chanced to meet upon the highway.
Woodworking, DOCTOR" said the physician,
refining in his horse. The theologian returned
the salutation, and the physician continued !:
81 had remarkable dream last night. I
dreamed that died and that went straight
to hell" The follower of Calvin smiled ap-
provingly, as though that denouement was just
what might have been expected. II knocked
at the door, not doubling that I should be
promptly admitted; but you can judge Of my
surprise when the door.keeper said to me,
"You can't come in, for We are expecting DR..
Emmons every minute, and when he gets here
we shall have our hands full" Without
another word, the hard-headed physician pick
ed up his horse and rode on.
bg-A colored firm recently dissolved part
nership, and posted the following notice to
the public: "De dissolution Of coparsnips
heretofore resisting between me and Nose
Jones in de barber profession, am hereto dis
solved. Pursons who owe must pay de SUBJ
scriber Dem what de firm ose must call on
Jones, as de firm is insolved."
BS- It was left for the Elmira Gazette to
discover that "The prominent religious fea-