Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1879-11-19
Aiseellanu.
" A Course OF Pinch"

ciSm, and latigued with his own elouuence
had thrown himself ut full length on the
library lounge, and was caressiup his
handsome moustaehe with the air of hav-
ing settled the affairs of the universe TO
his entire satisfaction. His companion.
an old gentleman of seventy, who had
listened with silent astonshment to his
grandson's language, finally opened his
mouth and remarked very slowly, but
with unusual expression:
Basil, you're an asst
The young man thus scathingly apos-
trophized turned his head and !aughinglv
surveyed his elderly relative.
That is just what you are," the old
gentleman continued, "and there is but
one thing | can think of that might posi-
bly put an end TO your braying and turn
you out Il man; and that is course of
pinch.h
"a course of what, sir?" inquired his
grandson, with us much appearance of
surprise us his lazy attitude would admit
Of
"A course of pinch" replied Mr.. Lar
ned. You have had your course of
mathematics, and rhetoric, and logic, and
French, and German, and goodness knows
what not, and yet you are rs unsatisfactory
dog as ever disgraced the name of Lar
ned. Now | think if you could have a
good course of pinch you might get to be
something decent"
" You mean by that, sir" said Basil,
still laughing, that it would be q good
thing for me if | could suddenly be made
POOR, and have TO sweep floors and black
boots for the rest of my education. Is that
it, grandlather?n
IF you had to wear shabby clothes,
my boy" the old gentleman replied, land
eouldn afford to buy postage stamps to
send letters to half the girls in creation,
and had no chink to pay for bouquets and
trumpery presents, and no time TO make
splurgc over what you are pleased to
call your skeptcsm (and now grand
fathers nose was elevated to an unusual
angle) do really think there might be a
chance for you. Now you study just
enough to keep your place in your classes
ut college, and not enough to do you any
good when you leave it. | presume you
have the reputation of being u good fel-
low, Basil, but consider you the biggest
simpleton of my acquaintance"
BasiPs laugh was one of genuine amuse-
ment. 1t was very funny to hear the old
gentleman discourse of the follies Of youth
forgetting all his own, of course! And
Basil wondered us he laughed what par
tcular kind of sprouts " his grandfather
had onco taken II " course" of,
"Anybody would think, grandfather, ="
he said, " that you were Il model young
man. [ don't suppose you ever wrote
letters to The young ladies. Oh, no! GER
tainly not!"
A flash of anne vance overspread the old
man IS face as he replied: e" never wrote
but one letter to II glrl IN my life, and that
was the document IN which | asked your
grandmother to be my wife; and | never
made young lady Il present till gave
your grandmother the ring which told of
our engagement. Another bit of stupidity
and cOnculJ 1 WAS never guilty of either,
my boy, and that WAS to endeavor 10 put
II premium on my intellectual stock by
talking about my skGptcism in relation to
spiritual AFT tir5. Ii had had any, assure
you | should not have been proud of il
You have read II few sclenG!nG DOCKS, anu
have learned to ring the changes on proto-
plnsm,und few similar words whichreally
mcan no more to you than TO me. A
course of pinch would squeeze that non
sense out OF you, my boy. Another
thing, Basil. In my time the parents who
allowed their daughters TO receive presents
from gentlemen lney were not engaged TO
would have been very severely, and L
think justly, criticised. Your father al
lowed me To look ut your list of eXpendi-
lures the other day, and the turquoises,
pearls, luckets, retlGuleS, bracelets, rings,
exc, elc., furnish Il formidable array OF
proof against the matrons OF the country,
whatever may be said of the lack OF dis
erection and womanincss OF the daugh-
lcrs."
"WeIl, | declare, grandfather said
Basil, rising, evidently more astonished
than he had been in II long time, you
haven't left me u leg to stand on. II
lave any good points | wish you would
mention one OF more, that | may not leave
YOU without carrying away some charac-
Ter with me-.
." lave no fears said his grandfather,
with a smile. Your conctit will comfort
YOU, my boy. The fact is, your good
points are 50 emphasized by your self
esteem that there is no need for me 10
spend time cnumerating them"
rhc very next day Basil went back to
college. For an hour or TWO after leaving
S''9S
with himself His amour 2)ropre had been
wounded, but the hurt soon passed Off,
and Basil could almost laugh AT the re-
membrance OF the old logys sermon.
When he unpacked his trunk the first
glance at u cameo set, bought at Tiffany $
tor Il Young lady who had beaten ut a
rowing match, and thlrty-dollar tan Tor
another young lady whom he had allowed
l., S,Ntt, t,.yt,I ,Iy
cts for possible emergencies, did not pro
ducc in our young hero the usual feeling
Of satisfaction. For the moment he real
lied that such triles as these, combined
with certain hightoned and Epicurcar
dissipations, made up the sum total OF his
earthly desires. For his studies as studio:
he cared little or nothing. For his studies
as giving him Il place among the cultured
ana refined he cared II great deal. Basl
I.arned was generous to prodlgality, ant
GOOD. natured to the verge OF profllgacy
and as lhoughtless in regard to any occu
patton or usefulness in the future as tn
professional tramp is as to what partcula
nay-Iolt shall have the honor OF couchin!
his lazy body when night comes on. /
course of pinch, if it were to come RICH
away, might save him but it is only il
novels that fathers lose their property 70
the particular purpose of giving their son
nchance to make something of themselves
and only in fiction, too, that fortunes ar
sent to those who really deserve them.
Several days passed, and all the student
had returned to college with the eXceptlo
of one senior. No word had been receive
by the faculty, and the young man. col
tlnued absence became at least subject