The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-12-11
PUTTING ON AIRS.
What Took the Frills Out Of One
Man Who Had Aspirations.
San Francisco Post.


old gentleman tourist who sat sip
ping a lemonade in Baldwin's bar
room the other day, and who re
marked, as self important looking
individual came in and haughtily
ordered a whisky straight:
-''Now, 'spose that gentleman is
one of your bonanza fellows, and
owns about two thirds of the real
estate round hereY'
NO" he replied; "he's a much
greater parsonage. He's one of the
successful candidates of the late
election"
81 might have known itr' ex-
claimed the old gentleman emphat-
ically. "He acts just as did when
i was elected to Congress-"
"How is that?'
"Well, you see l was elected NJ.
G. from the Fourth District just af
ter the war. We had pretty lively
campaign of it, and, as l had never
been in politics afore, l somehow
got the idea that the whole country
had quit work and was watching my
contest with quivering anxiety.
Every time the other side accused
me of being a chicken thief; or a
bigamist, or something, and I'd get
back at them with a card in the
Redville Warwhoop, headed San
other Lie Nailedp I'd send a
marked copy to every leading paper
in the country"
did, eh?'
eyes, and 1 was disgusted to find
they never paid the slightest atten
ton to me, neither. What sur
prised me more was that, although
L kept the President and Cabinet
advised of everything that occurred,
l never got she slightest sympathy
from any of Them. 1 was an ad
minlstration man, too, and L thought
it was blamed singular"
Didn't notice you at allr'
"Not at all, sir, and when 1 was
elected, and the boys lighted bon
fire in the main street, and serena
ded me, and l spoke six hours in
the open air as to my future course
on the tariff and the finances
the New York papers merely said
that "a Mr.. Gum had been elected
by small majority my name be-
ing Gonley, as you know"
THAT was hard"
''Well, / put that all down to envy
and malice, and l started for Wash
ingon. l expected that at least the
Speaker of the House and a COM
mittee appointed by the Senate
would be down at the depot to vel
come me to the Capitol"
''Did they do so?''
"The only persons who met me
were a committee of hackmen, who
tore my overcoat half of, rammed
me into q hack and robbed me,
with the aid and assistance of a
hotel clerk, who then gave me a
lark room on the top floor, and
asked the first weeks board in ad
vance, said it was the rule of the
house with Arkansas members"
"The impudent rascal"
"That's what / thought. Well,
he next morning l got away from
the bed ougs as we'll as l could,
and went up to the White House to
see if the President would like to
stroll down to the House and intro
luce me and see me sworn in. 1
sent up my card, and in an hour or
,wo some secretary or other sent me
back word that the President was at
akfast, and couldn't be both
cred"
"Well, was just dumbfounded.
However, l went down to the Capt.
,ol, and told the Sergeant-at-arms to
20 in and announce to the members
that 1 had arrived. He grinned
and said, That's devilish good,
that is,' and rushed off. l expect
ed that, of course, the members
would come crowding up to con
gratulate me, and say something
ike Magnificent speech of yours,
hat last one, Gonley. Beat 'em by
iorty, eight votes, too, old fellow
And then, maybe they'd give me
three cheers, and all that sort of
hing"
"No, sir; hope l may never stir
if they didn't give me a back seat
IN the cloak room until my name
was called, and a doorkeeper fired
me out into the corridor twice un-
der the impression that l was lob
bylst. Well, after l had been put
On the joint Committee on spittoons
and Window Washing, and spent a
couple of months trying to wedge in
my great four hour speech on the
Match Tax, something occurred
that let down my check-rein, and
took all the frills out of me good"
well, 1 was taking a drive out
TO the Soldiers Home one alter
noon with three other members,
when light buggy went by like
stresk of creased lightning, the
trotter driven by a solemn looking
man in a rusty plug hat, who was
a cigar and steadying a
small terrier on the seat with his
elbow.
"That's Butcher Boy" said one of
my companions, with great interest;
trots in twenty. He's a rattling
good stopper, bet your life y
''Did you notice that dog| said
another. "Best bred pup In town;
tail no bigger than a rats; Internal
fine dog, that"
As 1 had nothing else to say l
casually inquired who the driver
was.
"Why, that's the President" said
one of them, with a yawn. "By
Jove! how I'd like to have one OF
those pupsP'
THAT settled it. I've been as
meek and sad as car horse pull
ing a picnic ever since"