The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1879-07-31
PITH AND POINT.

A Boston young lady speaks of her
brothers "boot-j john"
You might as well be practical in this
world. Men can not live in mid air;
they were made with feet not wings
Hartford Journal.
THERE is a young man on South Hill
who dresses with such elegant PLAIN
ness that the only jewelry he wears is
the gold filling in one of his back teeth:
THE Independent relates that girl
who had been very observant OF her
parents mode of exhibiting their chari-
ty. being asked what generosity was,
answered: "It's giving to the poor all
the old stuff you don't want yourself
AFTER an enthusiastic lover spends
two hours hard labor over a letter to
his girl, and then mars its beauty by
spilling a drop of ink on it, ne hrst
swears in very scientific manner for
few moments, and then draws circle
around the blot and tells her it IS KISS.
| WHY is it that the boy of ordinary
mind would prefer to go in his every
day clothes and sit on muddy bank,
fishing all Sunday, rather than to sit on
nice dry seat in Sabbath sc. ool for an
hour, dressed up in his best bib and
tuckerP Girls ain t that way.-Steu6en-
ville Herald.
"OH, yes, I'm mad-just as mad as
can be-" exclaimed fashionable lady,
tossing her head to give emphasis to
her words, ssto think that those horrid
reporters should have had the imPu-
dence to lug me into their description
of the Fitzgerald wedding. Ugh! the
horrid things-and they didn't even
mention the lace on my dress. '-A'-
drews's Bazar.
A FACT which every traveller has
doubtless observed is that when strik-
ingly handsome young woman IS among
the passengers it is necessary for the
conductor to bend very low, in close
proximity to her face, in order to ascer-
tain her destination; but if a homely
girl with mole on her face is on the
train, he can understand her finest voice
the entire length of the car.-Bradtord
| Era.
THE Marchioness of D. is very proud
of her nobility, which reaches back to
the Crusades. She is also proud of her
admirable hands-the finest, without
doubt, in all Paris. The other day she
gave one of these marvels to friend to
kiss He could not refrain from enthu-
siastically expressing his admiration,
declaring that her hands were the divin-
est, etc. 81 should think they ought to
be,'' said She" hands that haven't
worked in the kitchen for 800 years!"
Paris Figaro.
To all who are afflicted with the habit
of profanity, and who are desirous OF
, curing themselves of it, the Louisville
} Courier Journal suggests that, as a be-
ginning, they resolve, and rigidly ad-
!, here to the resolution, that whenever
they feel disposition to swear they will
! take no other name in vain except that
of the Aztec god of war, Huitzilopochtli.
That will give their anger a chance to
, cool and to disappear before they get to
| the other end of the word, and they
will not thus be guilty of the sin of q
complete oath. And If HuitZilopochtll
won't break them, then their cases are
hopeless.
A s1x-FOoT, rawboned countryman
walked into Dillaway's crockery store
! Yesterday, and, noticing the fine porce-
. lain spittoons on the showcase asked
the proprietor "what them things
! werep" "Those are spittoons," quietly
= replied Mr. D. "Spittoons! What are
they forP" demanded the granger. "To
: spit in," was the reply. "To spit in,
is that SOP" and thereupon he gathered
: a quart cup of pure tobacco saliva in his
: mouth and elected the same into
said spittoon. swell, WE'LL" quoth
l. the granger, something new every
! day. When I'm in the city again III
call and spit in it again." and ther
r walked out.-Muscdtine Tribune.
ADDRESS TO CAT.
: Sweet warbler when the radiant moonligh
It In mellow splendor on the haunted shed,
n Oft have listened to thy plaintiye wauls
And cursed thee from my sleep deserted
!, How have I wept to hear thy long drawn
n MARIA Oh. h, Ma rial Comm ou-out?"
- Why dost thou rage, vain cat, when sabl
,e With dewy freshness fills the silent air?
Why dost thou climb the roof to yell an
fight
of And rip and spit and snort and claw an
swear?
!, Dost thou not blush, sweet cat, when ros
1, dawn
i'd Sees half thy fur clawed out, and one ey
gone? 't
burlington Hdwkeye.