Connecticut western news., 1879-06-25
WIT AND WISDOM.

WIT AND WISDOM.
 -"This can't be beat" as the man said when he bought the porcelain egg.
 There are few doors through which liberality, joined with good humor, can- not finds it's way.
 She that has no one to love or trust has little to hope. She wants the radi- cal principle of happiness.
 This is the present reward of virtu- ous conduct-that no unlucky conse- quence can oblige us to regret it.
 Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without in- tegrity is dangerous and dreadful.
 -Of the uncertainties of our. present state, the most dreadful and alarming is the uncertain continuance of reason.
 A barber's pole, two signboards, and a coach lamp were the evidences of skylark1ng found in students room at Yale.
 A farmer on the shores of Lake On tario has had nine acres washed away in twenty years. He is evidently losing ground.
 -" Tennyson is tsll," remarks the Rockland Courier. And then it adds "In this he differs from other poets, who are usually short"
 How comfortless is the sorrow of him who feels at once the bangs of guilt and the vexation of calamity which guilt has brought upon him.
 Sin always begins with pleasure and ends with bitterness. It is like the colt which the little boy said was very tame in front and, very wild behind.
 The New Orleans PicGy,sne notes general complaint this year in regard to circus elephants. "They are exceed ingly small. and never kill keeper"
 Marriage is evidently the dictate of I nature. Men and women are made to be the companions of each other, and therefore marriage is one of the means of happiness. ii | A hen-pecked husband said in ex- tenuation of his wife's raid upon his scalp: "You see, she takes her own hair off so easily she doesn't know how it hurts to have mine pulled out.
 Iris the Newburyport, Mass, Her. ald that rises to remark: There are many jokes on the State of Rhode Island as being small, but it never was small enough to repudiate it's debts or cheat it's creditors.
 -" When you see sign in front of g store Goods at half price, go in," says the Albany Journal, "and purchase something, and lay down fifty per cent. of what is demanded. By so doing you will discover the error into which you have fallen"
 About this time of year city people are getting very anxious about the well fare of the country cousin. This anxiety and solicitude will grow as the season advances. and when they can bear it no longer they will pack up four children and two trunks and go and see about it.
 We can't understand it, says the Hds0keye There's the landlady Mrs. McKerrel pounds the beefsteak to nal it tender, and old Sledge, the black smith, pounds his iron to make it tough. And you pound a dog to make itsrun, and pound COW to keep her from run ming. "It's aw muddle."
 The gallery of the Louvre seems to be @ school of morals as we'll as of art. A mother, in showing her little boy the "Venus of Milo "was asked by him, "What did they cut her arms off for ?" "Because she would put her fingers in the sugar bowl" was the reply. Little Jackey secretly resolves to be no longer liable to such terrible af1iction.
 -"Suppose you were going along the road with two prisoners and one of them ran away, what would you doG" was asked of an applicant for place on the New York police.
 "What would do? Why I'd club the other one senseless and pursue the fugitive" ~
 He was at once admitted to the force.
 Jean Baptiste announces to his mis- tress that he is about to leave her ser vice. "Well, if you had any intention of leaving your place you might at least have given me warming" says the lady. "How could IF" says the servant in an injured tone. "I couldn't throw out the dirty water till had the clean, and I only got the new place this morning." | l