Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-07-11

The Detroit Free Press has discovered Il
new summer resort, and allows the would be
host thus to describe its attractions He
came to this Office to about getting out an
illustrated catalogue. He was a nice old man,
and honset in his convictions. He lives out
from the city about eight miles on Napoleon
Greek, and it suddenly occurred to him the
other day that his place was a beautiful sum-
mer resort, and that his facilities for taking
few boarders should be published. "Fust,"
he began, as he removed his ancient tile,
Napoleon Greek flows right by the door, and
there's allus foot of water in it all summer
long. incest place in the world for women
to learn to swim. No sharks, alligators or
snakes TO bother 'em, and they kin splash
around in harmless glee
ANY fish in it 2"
"Yes, sir-e-e there be. They are small to
be sure, but all you've got to do is to catch
more of 'em in a day Napoleon Creek can't
be beat sir for an attraction and it furnish
es the best kind of water for washing clothes.
We save six bars of soap every week by using
this water"
"Wen!"
WALL then there's n hill in the distance
over on Squar' Fuller's farm. l tell ,ye that
hill looks lovely to a boarder sitting on the
back verandy It's kinder bold and defiant,
and kinder soft and pleadin', and the sight
makes man feel sort O. awed and humbled.
The hills a big thing, sir, and its going to
draw"
''Yes"
''Then there's the medder and white
schoolhouse beyond. Then, on 'tother side is
the big stub that was struck by lightning.
Boarders can take home all the splinters they
want to, and my boy Dan can tell them all
about how the pieces flew. This stub is 60
in to git 'em, sir-can't help it, 1t combines
romance and the power of lightning together,
and boarders will stand around thar with
their mouths open and tongues hanging out"
Anything else p
Anything else ?" he repeated, in an in
jured tone. "Well, should say there was
There's sheep gambling DER the lea,
and they are going to draw there's cows
wading through Napoleon Creek and that
will fetch 'em there's an old tanning mill
which the children kin turn, and they'll cry to
sit up all night; there's grove with more n
forty birds in it, and boarders kin take the
kitchen chairs right out thar then I'm 60
ing to break two colts this summer and have
a lightning rod put up, and tween men the
old woman We'll make it perfect paradise
around thar"
And your prices ?"
wall bein' that this is the fust year, we
shan't bar down very heavy. / want to git
folks in the habit of comm out there, and
kinder advertise her up, and bimeby we kin
make sumthin'. Don't forget to say that we
have family prayers twice day. That'n be
another big draw, you see. Dan he sings
bass, my wife sings sort of soprano, sing
awlto, and Sophia Jane she accompanies us
on the melodian, and l tell you it's sweet.
That'll git em hard and on extra occasions
1 kin prevail on the Edison boys to come over
and help us. One plays the bass-drum and
the other mouth organ, and they can't help
but draw. You jest orter hear 'em play 'Ba-
by Mine once !"
Beautiful, is it ?"
Beautiful! Why, it just melts you right
down, and you don't care whether there's
flies in the milk or not Wall, good-by.
Work 'er up strong and don't forget Napoleon
Creek and the women in swimming"