The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1879-04-18
Small Ta.k.
a walking match-A sloping couple.
a pare assertion is not necessarily n

a a walking match-A sloping couple
A bare assertion is not necessarilv
naked truth. ''"'"!
How to provide for rainy ,lav-
borrow an umbrella. way
tata Elm ,,,ne is money" why can't ma,
Jake nme to pay his debts2
! clock Is about the ONLY thing ,bo
! goes the best when il is all wound mn m
n 10 sodI, make . good bread, mold it well
70 spoil good bread, let il mold.
Whiskey is about the ONLY ereu,
man mas succeeded in loving.
Inc best are the cheapest. This !,
,,;n n,ure especially SO in the matter Of
me most useful pedestrian ia the
tha thaI h VINO walks the floor nights with
A tack points heavenward when :,
hna neans the most mischief; it has many
Electricity saved Baptist clerov,.
in Danbury from the assanIt o, nf ylnan .
de climbed telegraph pole. eo"''
Does not the butcher who solls ~
tails Tor soup and calves heads for d;n- In
hers' make both ends meet.
always pay as Won go.v oo;d
man to his nephew. "Bnt nno,a r,u au oio
t.Tbon .Tse haven't anything to pay with%
pad application of slang A. comes
INTO BIS room. SAYS B.: "How 5o
you IKE my new shoes?" A.. "Ob
tney'se immense. Tableau. "'
Professor: "Mr. H. "vbst sre
you eatingw Mr.. H (feeling in his his
pocket; Very sorry, professor " bnt 3
that's all I've got" 'u'
Waiter Ito member of the Ohio 1oo
lsiature): "Will you have some dos.
sertT Member to waiter-"No. tbani
you' Iii take piece of pie."
A Jersey City man was recently or.
rested for striking his wife across the
,tn in0uth with motto bearing the words
"Home, sweet home" WV "o'os'
1t has been found that one swallow
uoesht make spring. Therefore IL vow
are in hurry for sprin0, faIo you
three swallows. ""o '"o OF
mr: Iaimage having claimed that be
mas 1our gates, the Buffalo EynreS s
aoPes they open outward, so as to uive.
egress in case of fire, ~ si'o
Inc proprietor of bone factory an.
,,';th nIunces that persons leaving their bones
win MIN, can have them 0round ~
short notice. s'o""o a'
If Edgar A. Poe were living TODAY
~ would change the refrain of his mos,
iahous poem to-"Said the raven
is, hardly ever-more. -"
In answer to Shakespeare's comm
1rum, "What's in a namer, tho SUI
,use Times says that If il ia a Russ;on
\ name the entire alphabet is ip
Mon fall in love with beautiful cur,.
wnen they adorn the brow of beautiful
naidens, but let the smallest rinoiet
iPpear in their butter and thew tnrn
'ick with disgust. ~ '"o' turn
A preacher being requested n nor
orm the last sad Office for a voung rv rvo
nan at the point of death, pressed her
o believe that flesh and blood conid
lot enter the kingdom of beavan T
lm sate," said she. 81 am nothing brt
kin and bone." "s o"'
would you take the last cent n nor.
oh mas for glass of soda water? ?u
lsked Kankakee youth. "Ycs ro
Ponoed the unthinking proprietor.
hopeful pulled ont tbc cent
md got the drink. WV 'o"'
An infldel said sarcasticaIIv 70 ala.
lyman: II always spend Sunday In
etllihg my accounts" The reverend
entieman did not wither as expected.
'ut simply replied: "And Won will
spend the day of judgment in
he same way. '"' !"
Mamma, don't think tbe naorlo
vno make dolls are very pious people y
ald little girl to her mother. one dsy
why not, my child2" "Because Won
IAN never make them kneeI. ALWAYS
lave to lay. my doll down on her stom-
'ch to say her prayers"
A hansas farmer purchased a revol-
'er Tor his wife, and insisted on target
practice, so that she could defend her
louse during his fabsence. After the
'nalet 'o was dug out Of his leg, and the
'ow was buried, he thought she had
better defend herself with an axe.
A CRISP REPLY-Madame Bona
'arte, In her younger days, once attend.
"a state dinner, and was taken to the
able by Lord Dundas. He had already
received some of her sarcastic speecbes
and In not very pleasant mood asked
her whether she had read Mrs. Troll
ope's book on America. She had.
well, madame" said the Englishman,
what do, you think of her pronouncing
all Americans vulgarians?' az am not
surprised at that" answered sprightly
betsey. Bonaparte." "Were the Amer
cans the descendants of the Indians or
he Esquimaux should be astonished:
out being the direct descendants of the
English 1t wonld be very strange if they
we're not vulgarians." There was no
nor. heard from Lord Dundas that
evening.