The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1879-01-23

yo1a of aws wprk-Sboes.

Whea is a pie like a poet?-When 1t
IS Browning,
Wedding Be!les-those who have a
wedding ring.
What kind of ship has two mates and
no captain?-A Courtship,
Why is a rosebud like a promissory
note? 1t natures by falling dew.
What kind of lights did they use IN
the ancient synagogues?-Israelites.
There is q wonderful power in imag>
i~natiop, but it gets weak IN the knees
when it undertakes to shoulder n circus
lem onade.
One of the saddest and most vexa-
tious trials that comes to a girl when
she marries, is that she has to discharge
her mother and depend upon a hired
girl.
The first thing some m will do
when they get to heaven will be to look
and see if their wings are cut bias,
while the wings of other angels are
gored.
For young laaies WHO wish to have
small mouths. Repeat this at frequent
intervals during the day: Fanny Finch
fried five fine houndering frogs for
Francis f'oNler.
Judge" said a lawyer to CHS hon
or" during a lull in a case on trial
What do you . consider the best
illustrated paper?' "a thousand dol
lar bank note" growled the Judge.
"You bigoted Niger" said Sam &c
Pete. "Bigoted, what mean you by
dat?" asked Pete. why replied
Sam, "bigoted mean you know. too
much for one Niger, and not 'uuf for
two.
Oae of Sir Boyle Roche's invita-
tions to an Irish nobleman was tatfei
e~ouivocal. He writes: 81 hope. my
Lord. if YOU ever come within a mile
of my house you will stay there all
night"
Ill.tempered medico-"Madam, If
women were admitted to Paradise,
their tongues would make it a purga-
tory'" inpatient patient-''And some
physicians, if allowed to practise there,
wouId make IL a aeSertp
Aman very much intoxicated was
taken to the station house. "Why did
Won not bail him out?" inquired IL by
Islander of a friend. "Bala him out!
exclaimed the other. "Why, you could
not pump him out
Little Harry asked his mother what
ssblood relations meant. She ex-
planned that it signlfied near relatives
After thinking a moment, he said
..Then mother, you must be the blood
lest relation I've got"
Jones, through the lather. "Strange,
l never can grow a good beard, and ye
nv grandfather had n tltree fee
Dug" Hair-dresser, Cant account
for it, unless you take after your grand
mother"
A wealthy man on being aske'
how much he wanted to satisfy hi
wishes, replied, "a little more" On
thought he had found what would b
sufficient. IF 1 had q million,
should be perfectly contented; for:
said he. 81 could double it i'll tire
years"
A little boy in Sunday school put
poser to his teacher. The lady wa
telling her class how God punished tn
Egyptians by causing the fist born @
each household to be slain. The it'll
boy listened attentively. At the pro
per interval he mildly inquired" WhE
would God have done if there had bee
~twins?"
A man saw a ghost while walking
along a lonely highway at midnight
The ghost stood exactly in the mid
die of tie road, and the wayfarer, de
eidins to investigate, poked at 1t wit
his umbrella. The next instant he WI
knocked twenty feet into a mud-holt
Moral-Never poke an umbrella at
large white mule when its back l
turned.
Madame asked her husband for
new outfit. "My darling he sale
s.that would make the third in tw
months and times are so hard that
'sYou will kill kill me!' "eSclaimed tn
lady, bursting into teart, ''and my fu
neral expenses will cost you more tina
a new dress" "Ah, but I should HAY
to bury you only once was the CON
forting rejoinder.