Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1879-04-24
A Secondhand Suit.

a big one hundred and eighty pounder.
whose long legs and bulky body were
jammed into "A secondhand suit of
clothes two sizes too small, entered the
Central station yesterday with his ear
bleeding and bunch on his jaw. As
soon as encouraged 10 speak he began:
a." Well, 10 begin on, I'm mass, and to
end, I'm foolw
I've got that down, said the hecaptsin,
as he made notes on II sheet of paper.
You scc,h continued Bulky, Il
wanted 10 get my tin-typc taken. and
wanted IL took with Il red ncektic on.
Red just shows Off gorgeous on tin-typc,
and this one o mine was going clear to
lnjiany.n
That's down
"Wcll, ] went TO clothing store
down here, and the fellow lac bowed and
shook hands, and his wife she bowed and
shook hands, and hc had red nccktics
ranging all the way from fifteen cents 10
three million dollars apiece. got one
herc.she IL. don't claim tO know any
thing about carpets. but ! do believe |
kin pick out the best red nccktie of any
chap of my inches i'm North America.
That's nll right, I'm satisfied with the
tie but lust put your eyes on this suit Of
clothcsm
I've seen better fits and more har-
mony in colors," observed the captain.
" Fitsi Why, these clothes were built
for yearling calf, while I'm threc-ycar-
old elephant! Harmony! Why. here's
brown. black, red, green and saddle
color, all in heap
We'll, why did you get 'cm?"
" Yes why did get 'cin," repeated the
man rs he fell into chair. Write me
down rs another fool. and draw line
under the fool, These ere clothes hung
there in that store, and when that ere
man smiled and bowed and offered 'cm
10 Inc for fifteen dollars / had no more
idea of takin' EN- than YOU have of cat
ing alliga,or-stcak for dinner. Then his
wife bowed and smiled and offered 'cm 10
me for thirteen. and said | had the purti-
est pair Of shoulders she ever saw. Then
the old man knocked of another dollar
and said the clothes once belonged 10 a
into 'cm and walked up the street every
hat would come of 10 glorify me"
" And you believed it2"
" Believed st, Write me down ag an
idiot--a nass--a fool who don't know
nun Ia chaw slippcry-clm, OF course. !
believed it. One Of en- was praisin
my legs. and the other my shoulders. and
both smiling and bowling. and | took
thcsc duds at 'leycn dollnrs-shooi me. IL
didn't"
And pedestrians took of their hats to
you. did thcy?"
Did thcyl That's the mcancst thing
Of all, bought these ere things 'sppsin'
they belonged to millionaire. but !
hadn't got block from the store when
big ncckod ruff dances mp a. me. calls
me Jim the Kicker. and SAYS hos going
10 lick me for giving him nway 10 the
police. Thc-r ere dud4 snid me right
out IN n mint. and cot couple of cuffs
on the head which have kept ms brain.
playin' pull-away ever since the boys
helped me up.
And what do you want me 10 do
make an aTTr-tS'
"Arrc-t be- hanged" shouted Bulky a.
hn jumped up. DO YOU s'puac I'm a
sguoaier3 DO | CRY when I get bitten
Never can perish, bul cannot -Iuoa''
Farowc'l"'
n" started f1r the river. au officer fol-
lowing at distance. hut hc changed hiz
mind about suicidiue. and wa, last seen
sitting on n barrel of Akron cement
pooling n herring with ono hand and pull
ing down his vest with the other. while
An old apple woman was saying:
81 s'po~e W was driven into them
clothes 10y machinery: but what sort Of
machinery il is that'll drive " out of 'cm
Is more than poor old woman likes me
LAS business to know. -Doirgp Free
Press