Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-11-06
WIT AND IIC~Di:.

The ways OF The wol!d-Eoads.
The postagc-stanr knows ii place ate
II has been licked once.
a fly. like some of or courts. frequent
~ has rs procccdir IS s-lnashed.
When thing is once bcgnn il is almos
halt inishcd-a Kiss for instance.
Bar-room stoves are popular of late
Judging from Tie number of persons who
arc hugging them.
Music hath charms TO soothc the savage
This is why we occasionally see a cross
dog with brass band around his neck.
Sambo. who pcrambulatcd among the
chicken roosts in the silent hours OF the
night, can't see how fellow can prey
without Selling.
One single industry of New Haven is
enough to embrace the best part of the
whole world. 1t is said that 5000 corsets
are made in that city every week.
1.-The very soil of France" says recent
writer, "spronts immortality" But France
IL not peculiar in this regard. You can
lind loose earth in every country.
The worst reason for not drinking water
comes from an exchange, which says a
western editor refuses TO drink wa er be-
cause, since the dcluge, it has tasted of
sinners.
An exchange says that Pennsylvania
Dutch girls make good preserves. But ii
doesn't say how much sugar you take to
: pound Of Dutch girl, nor how long you
let 'cm boil.
Mr.. 0. Hell is the name of a deacon in a
Chicago church. When the choir finishes
a poorly rendered song. the minister inn
patiently calls out, 30, Hell, pass the con-
tribution-box.''
An agricultural society offered prcmi-
INN for 1.-THE best mode of irrigation"
which was printed Irritation" by mistake
whereupon an honest farmer sent his wife
to claim the prize.
And now they say il isn't healthy TO
drink whisky during months that have Il
TX" in them. Some of the boys would
probably get over this by spelling the
present month ''knoveinber."
''Never leave what you undertake until
you can reach your arms around it and
clinch your hands on the other side" says !
recently published book for young men.
Very good advice; but what if she screams:
''IIowdy, this morning." says an ac-
quaintancc to fat citizen. who is blowing
and steaning with great speed along the
sidewalk. Training tor a walk - NO"
ruf's the fit citizen. turning his bulging
eyes neither to ri yht nor left I'm walk
Ing for a train."-Rockland Courier.
Limburgcr cheese now made in this
country is said to be superior in every re-
spect to that produced abroad. But the
validity of this claim remains to be cstab-
lished. Will this mute but ambitious as
pirant for popular favor secure man more
foreign article ?-Eionecr Press.
''Prisoner, how old are yauy'
twenty-five your HONOR
''Twcnty-two? your papers make out
hat you were born twenty-thrce years
lgo."
$50 was but spent one year in pris-
N, and l don't count that-it was lost
ime."
Printers, as class. are innocent, unso- f,
'histicated men. DO any Of You gentle i,
nen know anything about gambling" ,
sked the editor OF the Oshkosh Christian :,
ldrocdte OF his corpositOrs the other day. =
nd cemetery stiffness reigned through |;
ut the Office. And then the crafty editor :,
ried: First ball, twenty sevcn." and six :,
zen compositors laid down their stick !,
nd inquired how much there was in the :
OF. .
A stalwart man rushed into doctors Il
flee IN Newark. Oh 10. The oller Cay. wit O
he cry: For Gods sake, pump me out il
uick." ''What is wrong with you?' in /,
ulred the doctor. ''Get the pump ready g
lille I'm telling you. I'm burning up "
,sile; hurry. Itook a drink down at O
ingcrbred row. They have put up "A job I,
n me. ! am poisoned The doctor sud- Il
enly interpOsed. ''Why, smell something O.
urning myself and opening the patents lc
'aistcoat found hole three inches in di-
meter burned in the shirt front. While
re stalwat citizen was taking his drink
> had dropped cigar stump between his
aistcoat and shirt. ''Did'nt you smell W
noke?' asked the doctor. "You bet Ell
ID; but thought it was coming Out q dl
y mouth" p'