The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-10-10
THE BRIGHT SIDE
Nicely Polished BY Our Good Humored
Exchanges.

Can Scandinavian pugilist be called
a noxious Swede?-[ Rome Sentinel.
Winter comes when autumn leaves
Boston Post.
Let man who is without any shins
throw the first stcne.- New Orleans Plea,
yune.
Ii you let man loan he will let you
alone, for long time New Orleans
Picayune.
Old war issues-those cerulean capped
overcoats. They are fast going Boston
Transcript
Grant has made good time since he
struck the Golden Gait Cincinnati
Saturday Night.
Mill operatives are wage laborers, but
professional walkists are wager laborers.
Fl Lowell Courier.
Wonder if Miss Virginia johnson ex-
poets us to believe "The Catskill Fairies?''
Our cats never killed any.
"What has once passed can never be
recalled"-a street-car, for instance
Philadelphia Sunday Item.
No matter how much a candidate
itches for office, he never likes to be
scratched Syracuse Herald.
The difference between hen and a
mouse-trap is that the mouse-trap can't
set ITSELF Saltwater Lumberman.
Look out for severe winter; the fur
on the peaches is unusually long and
thick Boston Journal of Commerce.
"Do unto others as you would be done
by" but take precious care that you are
not "done" by Others New York News
We presume the axletrees of railroad
car wheels are called journals because of
their rapid circulation Boston Tran
script.
A man is always wanting some one to
tell him how handsome he looks. A
woman will just stand before glass and
see for herself.
The country boy who wanted to be
druggist, determined to shoot the farm
and become pharmashootist- Cincin-
natl Saturday Night. .....
A man who couldn't afford any sum-
mer wanderings says he staid at home
and wandered "in his mind."- Cincn-
natl Saturday Night.
Mother (very sweetly) to children who
have just had distribution of candy:
"What do children say when they get
candy?" Chorus: "More"
"Will you have some more beans,
Johnnyw "No." "No what?" "No
BEANS" said Johnny, solemnly, pretend
ing not to understand what is desired
Old item.
The Boston Posts paragrapher makes
confessions: "The fashion papers state
that plaid ulsters will be much worn this
season. That makes ours right in style,
for it's very much worn."
"Buy trunk, Pat" said dealer.
"And what for should I buy a trunkT
rejoined Pat. "To put your clothes in"
was the reply. "And go nakedw ex-
claimed Pat; "not bit iv it."
The gang of burglars who work for
seven straight hours to hammer a safe to
pieces to secure ii cents know how
country minister feels next day after
donation VISIT Providence Journal.
A young man went into a restaurant
the other day, and, remarking that ''Tme
is money" added that as he had half an
hour to spare, if the proprietor was will
ing, he'd take it out in pie New York
News.
What is the difference between dairy
maid and stormy petrol? One skins
the milk and the other skins the water.
| i New Haven Register. We don't
now, quite see the difference Boston
Post.
A precocious youth, prompted by an
unpleasant recollection of the last term,
says that school teachers are like dogs,
because "they lick your hand" This
carries off the palm Wheeling Sunday
Leader.
Professor-"What is the fundamental
condition of existencew Student
Cline" Professor-"How do you ex-
plain thatY Student-"Very easily.
How can person exist if he hasn't the
time for it?'
A Mrs. Abbott, living in Smyrna, Del
aware, has just buried hersevenlh spouse,
she being now eighty-six years old. There
will be lively game Of seven-up for the
wife on Resurrection Day Cincinnati
Saturday Night.
A Milwaukee girl suffering from lock-
jaw was left alone with a mouse by a
shrewd physician, and she contrived to
open her mouth enough to give yell
that made the crockery in the china
closet rattle Boston Post.
A bald-headed professor, reproving a
youth for the exercise of his fists, said:
':We fight with our heads at this col
lege." The young man reflected mo-
ment, and then replied: "Ah, I see, and
you butted all your hair off, Inter-
Ocean. ...
A perplexed German who had made a
garment for youth, and found himself
unable to dispose of the surplus fullness
which appeared when trying it on the
| vouno candidate declarpd yocifarouslv