Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1879-06-11

two fat menin a light buggy Cincinnati
Saturday Niott.
The boy you had to be driven to the
bath-tub last winter now bathes for.
hours at a time in the canals and
rivers Cincinnati Commercial.
The war in South America has tempo
rarity ceased until the Bolivian army
a mend its suspenders.
While the lamp holds out to burn it
is liable to explode. / shall therefore
give it to the vilest sinner.-Our second
Solomon.-Bu6so Express.
Very Kind Gentleman.-"Do YOU
know, my dear, hat we have to-day
the shortest day in the year? ?" Lady
Very true; but your presence makes
me forget it,"
Two men started out on a wager to
see which could tell the biggest lie.
No. l commenced: "a wealthy coun-
try editor" w%hereupon No. 2
stopped him right there and paid the
forfeit.
Now the winds that softly breathe,
and the flowers that garlands wreathe,
AZ SCIIliC Hlub vi SuuiIiiCl III itic Illl1u
implants; and so do the beetles and the
spiders and the aunts.- Workers Gazette.
There is a boy in kankakee so ex-
ceeding bright that his mothers is Oh
liged to use a piece OF smoked glass
when she looks at Chicago Adper-
tiser.
If Ben franklin were to walk into
Iny 1,dHlahtn pnu with L,a lAa &c
bread under his arm, he would be Jug
ged with the rest of the tramps.-
Meridian Recorder.
President Hayes thinks his veto shows
bravery, and now he says ''None but
the brave deserve an invitation to the
agricultural fair.-Detrot Free Press.
There is a certain kind of promi-
nence that is more conspicuous than
Notwithstanding like a wart on a
mans nose, for instance.-New Haun
Register.
A Jersey City man was recently ar
rested for smacking his wife across the
nose with a red and yellow worsted
motto hearing the words, "Home, Sweet
Home."-E.
Jay Gould is credited with.the remark
that if he started a road from nowhere
to nowhere he could place the bonds in
a week, and the sales on Change bear
the remark out.
A San Francisco clothing dealer is
said to have, in good faith, offered Law
renee Barrett a 500 a night when play
ing Hamlet" in that city, if he would,
after uttering the words customary
suits Of solemn black" add ''the kind
they sell at - for $24."-IndianapoLs
" elcs.
New York has Georgia peaches al
ready. Buffalo wants no peaches from
that rebelIious and hopelessly demo-
cratic state. Buffalo can wait. And
beside, they are poor little, wormy,
scrawny things, that are not fit for any
body to eat, anybow.-BuBib Express.
Eve was the first and we reckon the
only woman who did not gather up her
dress in both hands and yell at the sight
of a snake.-OAoua Kan Republican.
The Dutch word for insurance COM
pany is
There are many people who would call
the insurance companies by worse
names than this if they could only in-
vent them.
A man has been sent to prison in
London for p%racticing a little gambling
device not unknown at church fairs
hat Of twirling an index on a sort of
"wheel Of fortune" for half.pence
There is something curious about a
keyhole. A man car always find it in
the dark, when he is going out, and never
can discover it by moonlight when he is
going in-New London Telegram.
1t was disagreeable to find ones sha-
wing brush connected with the blacking
box, but who could chlde a tired wife
with a black streak meandering down
her little nose?-New York Commercial
AdrertlSer.
There is at least one thing which no
one ever saw, and that is the facial gy-
ration a nan makes when he is feeling
for something in the dark and doesn't
know at what moment he is going to
collide with a h~alEopen door.-Uncie
Sam.
A CITIZEN of Portsmouth, n. H., who
is popularity supposed to be connected
with two or three secret societies, was
lately called upon to preside over a
church business meeting, and unwit-
tingly astCnished some of the brethren
in putting a vote by saying: "All in IA
vor please manifest 1t by the voting
sign of the order"
An ambitious young clerk in a whole
sale grocery establishment resolves to
enter the civil service, and so presents