The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-08-07

heart 10 write to them while pursuing my
evil life.
Il had learned 10 gamble, Of course, but
now resolved to quit it. For two years I
kept this resolution, and had in the mean
time saved over six thousand dollars. Do
you believe that the devil .empts men?
tell you, sir, it is true ! l began to feel
strange desire to visit some OF my old haunts.
This feeling became intense, overmastering.
My Judgment and conscience protested, but
I felt like one under spell. l yielded, and
found my way to well-known gambling
he'll, where l lost every dollar of my hard
earned money. 1t was like q dream
seemed to be drawn en- to my ruin by some
invisible but resisticss power. When / had
lost all, a strange calm came over me, which
had never understood II may kave been
the reaction, after night Of fevcrish excite
ment, or possibly ii was the unnatural calm
that follows the death Of hope. Ny self
contempt was complete. 10 language could
have expressed the intensity of my self
scorn. l sncaked to my lodgings, feeling
that had somehow parted with my mar
hood as well as my money.
"The very next day I was surprised by
the offer Of lucrative subordinate position
in a federal Office in San Francisco. This
was not the first coincidence OF the sort in
my life, where an unexpected influence had
been brought 10 bear upon me, giving my
plans and prospects new direction. Has
God anything to no with these things, or is
it accident? I took the place which was
offered to me, and went to work with renew
ed hope and energy. l made Il VOW against
gambling, and determined to recover all 1
had thrown away I saved every dollar
possible, pinching myself in my living, and
supplementing my liberal salary by literary
labors. My savings had again run hign up
in the thousands, and my gains were steady.
The Frazer river mining excitement broke
out An old friend Of mine came to me
and asked the loan OF a hundred dollars to
help him Of to the new mines. I told him
lac should have the money and that I would
have it ready for him that afternoon. After
he left the thought occurred to me that one
hundred dollars was very poor outfit for
such and enterprise, and that he ought
to have more. Then the thought was
suggested-yes sir, it was sUggcsted-that /
might take The hundred dollars to a faro
bank and win another hundred to place in
the hands OF my friend. l was fully resolv-
ed to risk not a cent beyond this. The idea
| took possession CT nay mind, and when lie
| came for the money l told him my piar,
and proposed that he accompany me TO the
/ gambling hell He was a frec-and-easy
/ sort of fellow, and readily assented. We
went together and after alternate successes
and losses at the faro-bank, il ended in the
usual way: lost the hundred dollars. I
went home in q frenzy Of anger and self-ro-
p-oach. The old passion was aroused
again. \ wild determination to break the
faro-oank took hold upon ne. I went
night after night, betting reckIessly until
not dollar was left. This happened last
week. Can you wonder that have con-
eIudcd there Is no hope for as weak a fool
as am p
He paused a moment in his rapid recital
pacing the floor with his hand on the ham
mer Of the pistol, which he had taken up
''Now, sir, candidlv, don't you think that
the best thing 1 can do is to blow out my
brains % said he, cooking the pistol as he
spoke.
The thought occurred 10 me that II was
no uncommon thing for the suicidal to give
way to the homiciduI mania. The man was
evidently half mad. and ready for tragedy
The pistol seemed almost instinct with con.
scious evil intention. II suicide or q
homicide WAS to end the scene, preferred
the former.
GLOW old are you?" I asked, aiming tc
create a diversion.
4 am forty-Gvc," he answered. appar
emily brought to a little more recollection O
himself by the question.
i should think, | continued having ar
| rested his attention, that whatever may
have been your foilies, and however dari
the future you have 10 face, you have to,
much manhood to sneak out OF life 10y tn,
e bac = J, or OF suic.d -
TIE shot struck. An instantaneous chang,
passed over his coUntCnance. Suicide ap
p-ar,d 10 him in new light-as a coward
4 ~, not an heroic act. lie had been fasci
: mated with the notion Of having the curtain
fail upon las career amid tile blaze OF blue
light, and the glamour q romance and the
dignity Il tragedy, amid the wonder Of IN,
crowd and thc tears Of the sentimental
{ That vas all goII--the suicide was but
9 poor creature, weak as we'll as wicked. HI
was saved. lie sank INTO char a. h,
handed me the pistol, which was very gIal
/, indeed to get into my hands.
I " on should be ashamed OF yourself, sir,
! continued. You are only fOr,v-iive wear
old you are in perfect health, with almos
3 a giants strength, classical education, ex
tcnsive business experience, and with
o knowledge OF the world gained by Your yer,
mistakes that should be a guarant, asail
the possibility Of their repetition. \ Draw
: man should never give up the b-ttle-th
. brave:t men never give up"
@ '-tiiye me the pistol" he said quietly
you need not be afraid to trust me with !.
The devil has left me. l Will not act Tia
e part OF the coward. You viii hear from m
again. Permit me 10 thank you. Good
+ morning
;, l did hear from him again. The dcvi
seemed indeed TO have Left him. lie wen
:, to British Columbia, where he proSpcrct
d in business aud got rich, became pilia
: in the church of which his father was enc o
the great light, and committed not suicide
u bat lnatrimonv, marrying a sweet and cul
e tured English .i-l. who thinks her tall Van
kee husband the handzomcst and noblcst q
uea.