The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-05-28
VARIETIES.

Try IudG pays 1uIy SlA pei CCuO' III
these hard times, and never passes "
single dividend. Invest more
largely in it. Et,
1t makes an editor mad as fury
to read how the subscriptions are
rolling in to the tour per cents, while
he hasn't had a new subscriber for
months.
-"Jane," said her father, 81
thought you hated stingy people, and
yet your young man" Why, Pa,
who said he is stingy?" "Oh, no
body" replied Pa, "only l could see
that he was little close when l
passed through the room"
The English language is wonder
full for its aptness OF expression.
When number Of men and women
get together and look at each other
from the sides of a room, that's called
a Sociable." When hungry crowd
calls upon poor minister, and eats
him out of house and home, that's
called Donation party"
Oliver Logan in a late London
letter, mentions a rather amusing re-
ply, given at ball, by an American
girl in London society, who had
strayed away from the ball room.
Her mother subsequently discovered
her in remote nook with gentle
man. who had his arm around her
waist while she rested the tips OF her
pretty little fingers on his manly
shoulder. Daughter, what's all
this ?" exclaimed the irate mamma.
Saucy cheeks looked up calmly, and
replied: Mamma, allow me to in
troduce Captain X. to you. l had
promised him dance, but l was SO
tired that 1 couldn't keep my word,
and 1 am giving him sitting still
waltz"
=" Surprising that you got private
intelligence that tomorrow would be
the day of judgment" asked minis
ter of the gospel, OF the proprietor Of
one of our live papers, whom he was
irving to convert "what would you
do" and the newsgatherer paused a
moment, looked up thoughtfully at
the ceiling and said You've got
me there. suppose if I used the en-
tire staff and got all the extras in the
city, that we couldn't interview halt
the people buried in the cemetery as
they rose from their graves. and al:
LOVING that We could, sixteen-page
paper with double supplement would
not contain half the matter, even it
we could set it up, but I'd run extras
all next day until / got 1t all in some
how. "No," he continued, "it would
be pretty tough rifle, l acknowl-
edge, but I'd make it, you bet
An exchange has the following
allegory, which we commend to care
full consideration:
A certain man hit his toe against a
pebble, and fell headlong to the
ground. He was vexed, and under
the influence of anger and self-suf.
ficiency, he kicked mother earth right
saucily. With imperturbable gravi-
ty, he looked to see the earth itself
dissolve and come to naught. But
the earth remained, and only his poor
foot was injured in the encounter.
This is the way Of man. An article
in a newspaper touches him ina weak
spot, and forthwith he SENDS to stop
his paper. With great complacency
he looks to see the crash, when he
finds he only hit his own zee against
world that does not perpetually feel
the shock, and Injuries no one but
hi cseif."
"A correspondent of the Visalia
(Cal.) Delta furnishes this queer par
agraph. GA boiling spring has been
discovered between the Polvadero
and Los Gatos Greeks. An ingen-
ious individual has applied for the
water right, and has constructed
clothes .wringer, to be run by water
wheel at one side of the spring,
where it boils over into another. Of
clear water, in which the proprietor
has packed sack of indigo. The
ranchers OF the settlement, resort to
the spring to do their washing. The
clothes are thrown into the water,
which has whirling motion, and are
drawn in out of sight. In about five
minutes they come 20. the surface,
float to the wringer, and are run
through to the other spring, where
they are rinsed by passing through
another wringer In less than thir-
ty minutes the washing is done, and
the ranchar is on hia Wav home re.