The Newtown bee., 1879-08-06
Playing Poker.

On the golden side of Heaven, and While she turned for sols caresses Turned her back to hide her blushes. And the keen eyed stars beholding, Winked and laughed in twinkling mischief.
 Up she raised her head to listen, Thought that she heard saving Like to bu, glars their mission. Saving boring. grating gnawing. Gnawing at the parlor window. Then she punched her lord to wake him, Punched him in the side, not gently. Punched her husband in the nighttime Sleeping sweetly there at midnight, Living OCT his youth in Dreamland, Rosy -hued and golden Dreamland. Where there come no cares corroding, Where no clouds with sombre shadow Chill the soul with dread foreboding. Where no ills do ever reach us, If we sleep sleep the righteous, (On poor mans empty stomach). Where the lucky rich grow richer. Filing golden heaps on golden. And are sleeping. sweetly dreaming. Plagued not with the nightmare taxes; Dreaming that their fne-tooth muck-rake Never fails to rake in dollars
  Where the poor man fills his measure. Nor is he held in Greenback value. Where he builds his airy castle Cheek-by- -jowl with gilt-edged Cresus; Where no women probe the pockets. Empty pockets of their liege lords. Hoping there to find trade dollars And no wives with punching elbows Punch their husbands up from Dreamland. Fairy-land that knows no sorrow Rosy -hued and gilt-edged Dreamland!
 As she raised her head and listened, Every golden friz stood endwise On her al l.baster forehead, And her eyes stuck out like door-knobs: "Jawgie." said she. "Jawgie, burglars !'' And she emphasized each Jawgie. With the sharp point of her elbow. Husband, burglars Heaven defend usl'' Then she ducked beneath the cover.
 Husband not at all poetic Save ic ever blessed Dreamland- Waking gruuted, '.what in Bedlam Maggie. what in thunder ails you !" Then in 1nilder accents, said he Softening down to tones pathetic - "w1fey dearest. what disturbs you? Hush your jaw and stop your punching" Then he heard a gentle gnswing. Listened and he heard the gnawing, Gnawing at the outside window. Then he ope'd his drowsy eyelids. And he slyly slipped the cover Then he stepped out on the carpet. Stepped he gently on his tip-toes To the doorway of the parlor. To the parlor whence the gnawing, Gnawing of the midnight burglars. Burglars seeing "Jawgie" peeping. Peeping slyly through the doorway, Peepng in his shining garments. Dropped their tools and ceased their gnawing. Gnawing at the parlor window. Seeing then the situation
 Said he to his wifey softly.
 "You be hanged. 'tis not burglar. Nary thieving midnight burglar Saving at the outside window But rat. you are. Maggie. And bold courageous wifey, Rat has got within the parlor. Prowling on his midnight mission.'
 Slipped he then and found the match-safe, Struck match and lit gas-jet: Then he slid and got poker. And marched boldly to the parlor With his deadly weapon lifted. sl wly edged he towards his ratship. Who crouched upon sofa Watching husbands stealthy movements. Eyeing Jawgie's manly tactics. Hoping now to end the trouble, Aiming sure he thrust his weapon, Shot his poker swift lightning. Up jumped rat and swiftly scampered George had merely punched the sofa. &l,n !, l,;s Then commenced some tall gymnastics. Then began game of poker. !, Poker seldom played or heard of
 Husband now had got his blood up. Would not be outdone at poker. Rat was scared, as well he might be. At his mad pursuers aspect. For his visage boded evil.
 And was marred by inward passion. Neither was he dressed for Sunday. And his ebon eye flashed fearful. And his waving midnight garment Tapped and flashed like forked lightning As they up and down the parlor Streaked it i'll that fierce encounter. Seldom has been seen such racing. No such poetry of motion.
 Ger the carpet, into corners. Over chairs and over tables.
 Under chairs and under sofas Ran the rat pursued by husband Punching with his deadly poker. Missing rat at every punching Knocking chairs and knocking tables. Cruising shins and .bruising knuckles, Scat ring things in wild confusion, Out of order bringing chaos Fleeing thence the rat went plunging, Plunging madly through the bedroom. Dashing wildly every whither. Followed by the irate husband Brandishing the changing poker. Swearing not word but corking Up an inwardness of feeling.
 Out the sleeping room they legged it. In the dining-room they entered, Shut the door and there renewed it. Up and down the room they cantered. Cantered till for breath they panted. Then his ratship sought new tactics. Hid himself behind ..salyer." Crouched between two table salvers. Shining plates of ancient serving, Salyers standing heath the table, Standing 'gainst the wall up sndwise.