American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1879-05-24
WIT AND WISDOM.

| A "HARDLf EVER temperance so
ciety has been formed down East. When
a member is asked if he drinks, he says,
Hardly ever, but if do it is about
this time of day."-OH City Derrick
A POOR but high-spirited woman in
Chicago pounds an old rag on the kitch-
en- table every morning to make her
neighbors believe that she has beefsteak
for breakfast.-Detron Free Press.
ONE of the greatest feats of woman's
| endurance is when the female with q
diamond ring wipes her mouth 5000
times in 5000 quarter hours without
complaining of the least fatigue.-Phil-
adelphia Chronicle. ...
NEVER insult an acquaintance by
harsh words when applied to for ia
vor. It is just as easy and ever so much
pleasanter to lie to him and tell him you
haven't got it. He may know you are
liar, but he can't deny that you are q
gentleman.-Hawkeye.
THEY grow some rather tall women
beyond the Mississippi. An occidental
poet writes that he "kissed the clouds
from her sweet fair face.'' 1t seems al
most incredible that he could, just by
standing upon her face, kiss the clouds,
but truth and poesy are inseparable, and
We are bound to believe.-Y onkers Ga
sette. sf=. s-t.t...-,--
eyes" observed the boy rs he went
down stairs, s'this is world of changes
1t wasn't over three months ago that
that ERE lawyer gin me BLOWN up
COS l didn't shut the door when went
out, and now he turns around and jaws
COS didn't leave it wide open. i don't
know nuthin' bout law, but seems to
me that these 'ere fellers who can't
stick to one thing for more'n three
months at time can't be OF much
count. ''-Detroa Free Press.
A BOSTON parson, who has written .
book against dancing, gives this deserip-
ton of ball: ssJustlook anthem. There,
elevated on table, is mustached gem
tleman, holding piece of wood to his
shoulder and frantically drawing poor
horse-h hair over the dried viscera of a,
dead feline, shouting vociferously inco-
herent sounds, the meaning of which
must be guessed at, while men and
women are mostly jumping up, and
down, scolding, laughing, shouting,
coughing, wheeling, bowling, smiling,
frowning, winking, blinking, pushing,
pulling, sweating, rushing, laundering,
rumbling, tramping and stamping until
he body is exhausted and the Lungs cry
for air. -
In monograph in the Quarterly
Journal Of Ine6riety, DIR. George M
Beard asks: "Are Drunkards Automa-
tonsp" DIR. Beard is clearly of the
opinion that they are. Some men, he
says, habitually drunk while on or near
the sea, are habituafly sober while fv-
ing inland. We know of similar in
stances of automatic inebriety. Smith
is always drunk when he has the money,
sober when he has not. Jones drinks
like fish when he is out of Jail, but I
when he is in, why, bless him, he would
delight the soul of q temperance cru
sader, but does not delight his own, for
Jones prefers himself as drunk as he
can get. Then there is Robinson, who,
when he is full of ice-water is as steady
as headstone, but fill him up with
whisky and he is just beastly. Yes, it
is clear that drunkards are automatic;l
their condition is determined not alto
gether by their surroundings, but BY
those and the thing which they sur
Francisco Argossdut.