Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1879-09-26
A DENTAL DIFFICULTY.
what a LOng Man Told n short Man in n
mnMn. EnsI nnlINnN Cnr-

Nhat n JOng Man Told n short Man in n
Dawn-East Railway Car.
Yes" said the Long Man, in an alb
sent sort of way, as he emptied the fag.
END of paper of fine-cut, rolled the
tin-foil carefully into little ball and
then threw the little ball out of the
window, Eyes, it were singular an
very tryin' sort o fix t get into!'
"But how did th' undertaken come
T. send you tn tooth, anyway" asked
the Short Man.
"Why, you see, me an Joe Simmons
was old friends-playod together among
tn collins in his fathers shop when we
was boys; stole ice out o. tn ice-box to
make lemonade on th' sly; ran away
with tn hearse, once, when we wanted
Z 60 Z picnic an tn old man locked
tn heartburn into tn wagon-house.
After we'd growed up, an he'd come
into tn business he undertook for us
reg lar. We was a powerful dyin' fam
lily, an, he made a good thing out o. us.
But l will do him tn justice T. say that
he always charged reasonable. We
was just bosom friends, him an me
was, an It was only material that he
should try T. do me favor when he had
chance. Then, you see, there were
rumors about just then that Mariar was
In decline, an think, Irayther think,
that he thought might give him tn
slip an try tn new undertaken over at
tn corners-he was just beginnin' an
was buryin' scandalous low-an' It
would be just as well T. keep on nv
smoothe side. Marian was at tn bot
tom O. tn whole trouble, from first t.
last"
Women is pizen-sometimes," OBJ
served the Short Man, with an air of
great conviction at the beginning of his
remark that changed into doubt at the
end, evidently for the sake of polite
ness, and not because he believed that
doubt, under the circumstances, was
possible.
Mariar, you see," continued the
Long Man, 'just got possessed with th'
idea that them corpses ought t be geth-
cred up outen th' old meetin' -house
ground an moved over into TIL new
cemetery. Father ID taken part O. his
pay for tn land out in lots, sort o.
trustin' T. luck t. get rid of 'em; but
they just hung on his hands like
tieas Z dog nose when all tn rest o.
him's under water. Marfar talked T.
tn old man an got him quite worked
over Z her views. She told him that as
long as nobody ever was buried over
t. his end o. the ground, nobody'd d feel
like maxim beginnin'."
80 just you scatter round a few dead
bodies, sort o. promiscuous like, among
them lotso' yourn, says she, 'an' peo
ple'n begin t beg t be buried there.
ltl be like putin sugar in a fly-trap,'
says she.
"Now, tn old man allowed there
was a good deal o. sense in what she
said, an so there was, for Marian allus
was good business woman-but he
was kinder stuck as T. where th' dead
bodies Z start things with was t come
from. But Mariar she chips in then an
airs her plan for diggin' up all o. un.
cle's family, an my first wife an tn
baby, an brother George an his wife
an two gals an bringin' tn hull lot
over out o. the meetin' house ground |
an dumpin' 'em into fathers part O.
tn new cemetery.
"'Thats three lots T. start with
says she, an just as like as not Cousin
Jane 'u'd bring her dead husband
havin' no more use for him, now that |
she's got another live one-over from
tn Corners ground, an that would
make four. By scatterin' 'em well
around an putin up stylish tomb
stones, them lots 'u'd get over their
lonesome look an would fill up in no |
time, What stations thisP The Cor
nersP'
"So't is. We're gettin' close t.
home, An what did your father saw
to herp Seems T. me hern was sensi- |
bic sort o. talk"
Yes, so tn old man thought, Spec |
tally when he come t. think it over.
You see Reub Eldredge-you remember
Reub-bought tn old Lyman quarry
an set up in tn stone business, YOU
know. Well, Reub owed him for some
haulin' an was talkin' about buyin'
tn Alderney heifer, so he knOwed he
could get the tombstones at consid' able
D reduction. Then Reub's wife was
an he thought maybe
Reub'd take a lot-an' that 'u'd be
KILN two birds with one stone; gettin'
tn stones cheaper an doin' somethin'
more toward film up an popularizin'
his part o. tn ground. So, thinkin'
over all this, father fell into Mariar's
plan purity much right Off"
Cost heap o. money, all that un-
derdrainin'," said the Short Man point
ing out of the car window.
" An didn't pay when twas done,
neither" said the Long Man. Rams
ford knows a burned sight too much
out o. books an durnder sight too
little out Of experience ever & make
any sort of a farmer. Well, as | was
sayin' sth' old man tumbled right 10 IL.
an he went off T. see tn folks about
maxim tn moves. All of 'em came in
7 without much talkin' but Cousin
ane. She said she wouldn't have her
dear, dead husband-Lordi what life
She did lead him; druv him into tn
grave, most folks allowed-wouldn't
have him carted round tn country
ike circus an then chuGked out for
sround-bait, wouldn't have it at no
price. She wanted T. know if father
didn't think she hadn't any material af-
lection for tn dead; il her love for her
lear, gone partner wern't warm vet.
sven II she had married agenP And
-he long and short o. II was that father
had Z come down with ten dollars In
sash an promise Z do the diggin' up
an haulin' an reburyin' all for nothin'
before she'd give in q lettin' Daniel be
moved. But father got away from her
IN u, tombstone. He made a power
al light bargain with Reub, an he
,ould afford TO charge mighty low for
~ tombstones an yet make somethin'
nore'n fair shave on 'em. He stuck
jousin Jane purity near full rates an
10 no got square with her."