Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-01-22
Fun Among the Exchanges.

oatlSHed at laSt-A cOntented shoe
maker.
An elevated railroad station is. Q
course, station airy.
Is the fellow who tends an oyster sa
loon an oyster supe?
The improvident man is hard to kill
because he will not die worth cent.
A fixed fact One that gets in a wo
mans head.-Eznira Gazette.
We've seen storms that were hail fel
lows, we'll met.-Boston Post.
A photographer belongs to the tin
type of humanity Patsbuqy Telegraph
Thoughts that burn-Amateu poetr,
when the editors waste-basket is over
flowing.
An Englishman named Putton ba!
written q book on music. It will bt
called "Putton Airs" probably.
A milkman was very mad because
some one bought a quart of milk anc
then told him to chalk it down.
The shrouding ulster covers a multi
tude Of crooked shins.-New Orleans Pr
cdyatne.
"The worst aches will heal. p Confu
c1us. The best heels will ache-O'Leary
-Graphic.
A bad boy-A burglars "Jimmy." A
good boy-A policeman's "Bi,lv.'-
Pome Sentinel.
Here's to the next cold wave: "Lone
may 1t wave"-sOmewhere else.-Nor
ristoaOa Herald.
what" says correspondent
"would you call short order?' Git!-
Toledo Commercial.
A clock records time with its hands
but regiment marks time with it's feet
-PHtsburg Telegraph.
Despise not small things; the largest
corn is always found on the smallest
toe.-NeW York Eapress.
Times "inaudible and noiseless FOOT
IS shod in boot made on the last of the
year.-BoSton Transcript
The way to make six cents go far
therest-Buy q stamp and put it on a
foreign letter.-Patsburg Telegraph.
The Chinese liken q drunkard's nose
to a lighthouse, warning us of the little
water that passed underneath.
The new cook book, Chow to Get a
Good Dinner" should be in the hands
of every tramp.-Boston Iraueler.
''Be active, be active; find something
to do, if no more than the eating of a
twenty cent stew.-Ney York News.
1t is vulgar to call a man bow legged
Just speak Of him as a parenthetical pc
Observation-Disclosures Republican,
A lumber dealer failed last week
could not pay bis board bills.-Bostoro
Commercial Bulletin.
In slippery cities Christians are
known by the ashes they put on the
sidewalk.-NeD Orleans Picayuaae.
There is something peculiarly weird
in listening to 240-pound woman sing
ing, Tap, tap, tapping at the garden
gate. "-NeaO York Express.
And now if the uoiikmen will turn
over a new leaf and resolve not to
touch water, what a happy year this
will be.-PhiIadelphia Chronicle Herald.
A Paduca. (Ky.) paper says money
IS so scarce IN that place that even
the change in the weather IS hailed with
pleasure.
The man who Unexpectedly sat down
IN some warm sluo thinks thoro Is ore
than one way Of getting badly stuck
Hdcke,asack Republican.
People who shoot at kings and en-
perors need little Creedmore prac-
tice. They usually score nothing out Of
a possible one.
The Boston Transcript says: mystery
deepens in every family" All; the
BOstOnians are serving hash In deeper
dishes, eh?
You can keep a bee away from you
by the use of tobacco-smoke, but d bee
is always in such COMPOUNDED hurr,
that he gets in his work before you car
light your cigar.
"Is your master up?" asked an early
visitor of a nobleman's valet. eyes
sir" answered the valet with great in
nocence; "the butler and carried him
up about 3 o'clock"
Monsieur LeDuc says that the proper
way to treat hog cholera is to wrap the
patient in a hot blanket and apply mus
tard plasters to the stomach and soles O.
the feet-Oi7aciaa1aot Commercial.
The mule reached out suddenly with
his hind foot and upset the vehicle with
Its three occupants. "That's what
call a three-cent stamp" said one of the
unfortunates, as he raised himself from
the bosom OF his mother earth.
The United States has suffered from
Chinese cheap labor, English sparrows
and foreign lecturers. We are now
threatened with revival Of the Shang
hal rooster.-New York Commercial Ad
1ertiser.
A dispatch from Buffalo says there
are four feet of snow on level at thai
place. 1t neglects to add that the care
less carpenter who left the level out O.
doors has been discharged by his en-
plOver.--LoaUell Courier.
/ The Eisteddfod at Utica has been 8
brilliant success. The Welsh are gooc
~,