The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1879-07-20

things is tremendous. But if he happens to have on
pair of tight boots religion loses its power over
him at once. and he expresses hts feelings in terms
which leave no doubt 10 the quality of his temper
We suppose that many weary parishioner who
has seen his minister wrestling with his hfteenthly
has been reminded Of the story OF Lord Ellen
borough. lie listening to the tedious speech OF
long-winded barrister. when the latter paused
partly for want of breath. and said lis IL the
pleasure of the Court that proceed p Pleasure
SIR" replied the Judge. "has boon out Of the ques-
ton long time. but still you may proceed IL
you are asked what q sermon should be about in
order TO effect the most good. you may safely reply
that it should be about halt an hour and no more
How true are the words of Pickwick and with
what appalling vividness they come back to US AFTER
stormy time. Either Dickens had sad experience
in his married life or the man who suggested the
character had weathered many tempest. wen
you no married man. sarnivel, you'll understand
good many things as you don't understand now;
but vether it's worth while going through so much
to learn SO little as the charity boy said ven he got
to the end OF the alphabet, is matter O. taste.
rayther think it isn't"
This is the best story have yet heard OF Taiey-
rand A lady wrote to him of her husbands death.
His reply which was follows. was very simple:-
Helas.
within short year she wrote again. and this time
to say that she had been married . second time.
His reply was equally short and little more sgnif
can't
Oh ho
Madame. votre afectionne.
TALLEYRAND.
The world is never content to let either doctors
lawyers alone. There is kind of instructive dis
trust of them both in the universal heart, which is
the popularity of no single but Of all ages. 1t
is always fair for the wit to sharpen his arrow when
he draws the bow in front Of either target. and the
harder the hat the better people relish it. Votare
who lived doses until the bitterness Of the medi
lingering on his tongue gave its quality to his
language, spoke of medical man az pouring drugs
of which he knew little into bodies of which he knew
less" and Thomas Moore. who belonged to literary
clique which would have been glad to note 'the
laws delay" but which always shook its head in
credulousy when the words were quoted. since it
read lawyers dunning letters from morn till dewy
eve avenged himself and his brethren by writing
this epitaph:-
Here lies John Shaw,
Attorney at law;
And when he died
The devil cried:-
''Give US your paw,
John Shaw,
Attorney at law"
that the inventor of gunpowder was clergyman
No will believe it. however until he gets mar
ried. After that no further proof is required.
Everything in connection with the family of
Napoleon is clothed with new interest just now.
That family resembles range of high mountains Of
greater lesser altitude but since the death Of the
Prince Imperial there is nothing lert but ordinary
hills. and behind them few insignificant hillocks
When Napoleon III. was an exile in London he
was always a welcome guest at the house of Lady
Blessington. After his return to Paris. and while he
held very uncertain position, or rather held his
position very uncertainty, Her Ladyshp visited the
gay capital and met Napoleon on the Bots de
Boulogne He had shown great ingratitude for her
kindness, and the meeting was therefore. not. with
out it's embarrassment. She brilliant woman.
however, and quite equal to the occasion. Her wit
shot an arrow at the Emperor which stung him to
the last. He said with forced poiteness, Countess.
snail you stay long in Parish" She answered
naively, 1T really cannot say" and then. with q
most bewitching and significant smile. "And your"
The colored preacher of Richmond, who insists
that the moves because he has seen it with his
eyes, and that the earth is stationary for the
same reason. employs q kind Of argument which is
not without its value. When man reasons out Of
his eyes he does well, and when from
his experience he does better still. and reasoning
thus great many changes must take place in our
conception of the globe as well of the sun. The
following lines ore certainly quite conclusive in
their way
What makes you think the world il round?
Give me reason fair!
Because so very few are found
Who act upon the square.
1t is exceedingly curious to note how surely there
is compensation for every evil II You can only
be persuaded to look at matters in their right light
will ;p1v 6pd hat cIo isf
with light. If these true the most dole
full despair of bighted affection is not without its
bright side. The disconsolate one cries:-
My heart will break. I'm sure it will.
My lover, yes my favorite-he
Who seemed my own through good and ILL
Has basey turned his back on me-
Under such deplorable circumstances no one
could ask you to be hospitable enough even to
terrain hope but still this law of compensation
comes to the front and whispers serenely-
All! silly Borrower. weep more,
Your lovers turned his back, we see;
But you had turned his head before,
So now he's as he ought to be.
There is no writer more thoroughly genial or
more genuinely witty than our own Holmes. We
are all very proud that he belongs to America, and
when we hear him quoted with unstinted admira-
ton the other side of the water it is great de-
light to pull out pocket edition of charming
sydney Smiths wit and wisdom and read in the
ears OF our neighbors short extract from one OF
his articles in the Edinburgh Reriew of 1s20:-"In
the four quarters of the globe. who reads Ameri
book? or goes to an American play? looks 1T
American picture or statueY Then turn to
the advertising columns of the Times and see that
Mr.. Berstadt's pictures of the great West
hibiton and discover that crowds visit them every
day; and enter bookstore-any bookstore
from the Tower to Northumberland find
Holmes and Lowell every shelf. We
can hardly take up paper without discovering
among the gravites of editorial. even the sharp
and brilliant sayings of Bret Harte and Mark Twain.
The English have become appreciative of Ameri-
can wit that even Dr. Talmage gathers audience
20 haar his coarse iokes and thouuh thex wondor