Connecticut western news., 1879-02-05
WIT AND WISDOM.

The young man wildly fed.
 -Basor.
 WIT AND WISDOM.
 Ancient Greece butter.
 A rife club-a gang of burglars.
 A strapping fellow-The barber.
 One of the old mast-ers-The ships par.
 .-Delirium tremens can be called tight fit.
 A good way to cutter acquaintanoe- Give her sleigh ride.
 -Tbe "cream of society Those who live on the surface.
 He is good man indeed who does all the good he talks of.
 Ruth was a good girl, and she had as fine Boaz could be found in those days.
 -"So dark and yet. so light" as the man said when he looked at his ton of coal.
 The times are hard-everybody says so-but the wages of sin have not been cut down.
 It is alleged with much earnestness that bugle call is "Sound to tho Corps." ...
 It has been suggested that the Washington Monument might be finished for Major Andre.
 -"I pain nobody" said dentist, when asked if he hurt people much. And a creditor of his said he told the truth.
 It is no harder to make the. wrong right by arguing about it or execusing it than it is to jump across hole in two jumps. A set of false teeth was found on the floor at a ball in New Haven, Conn. The loss occurred soon after the formation l of new set. When you see you can see the vil- ] lain in mans face you ought to look second time to be sure that you do not see it by reflection. 1 -"There are three friends" says Beniamin Franklin, "who will never deceive you-a tried wife, an, old dog and ready money"
 The young man who wrote and asked his girl to accept bucket /" of flowers became little pale when she said she wooden ware 1t.
 The plumber has been so often ioked about, that when you see what purports to be joke about him, you may bet its solder than the hills.
 Cheyenne squaws would make good farmers wives. They are not afraid of tramps, and are as handy with Spring field rife as they are with frying pan.
 -Beniamin West said that a kiss from his mother made him painter. Kissing a young lady's cheek has often made young man painter. - Binghanaton Republican.
 A Michigan farmer writes to the faculty of Yale: "What are your terms for year And does it cost anything extra if my son wants to learn to read and write as we'll as row boat ?"
 That may be right which is not pleasant and that pleasant which is not right but Christ's religion is both. There is not only peace in the end of religion, but peace in the way.-Henry. i First woman-Bless me, Emily, you don't look as we'll as usual-indeed do not think ever saw you looking as old as you do to-day. Second Woman-My dear, never was as old as am to-day.
 When I see a man with a serene countenance, it looks like leisure that } he enjoys, but in reality he sails on no : summers sea. This steady sailing comes of heavy hand on the tiller.-- 7 Thoreau.
 The Boston Post thinks that the time will come when honest lawyers will hang cut 8 shingle saying "Attorney at Law and Candidate for Congress" This because there are now 200 lawyers in Congress. Mrs. Burlington Again." Poor man P said the old lady; "and so he's really gone at last Ninety-eight, was hep Dear, dear to think how that ii l he'd lived two years more he'd have , been centurion. "-JudS. It is no sign because yousee three l canary bird cages hanging in the win 3 dow and hearing the little birds singing 3 their songs that the inmates of the man. 3 sion are. any happier than if they only f had a dog tied up in the cellar. , Where are they hidden, all the vanished years? q An, who can say? 0 Where is the laughter flown to and the tears 5 Perished? An, nay?
 Beauty and strength are born of sun and , showers;
 Shall these not surely spring again In flowers I -Fitz Hugh Ludlow, in his narrative a of travel in the Heart of the Continent d tells of an eccentric genius who i'm
 proved on the old yarn to the effect tha'
 "the weather would have been colde h if the thermometer had been longer" b, IF saying he had been where it was g t cold that the thermometer got down oi