River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-09-04

The late RaroD James Rothschi-d used
to tell with great delight about an old
clerk no csleI upon him one day 10 get
cave OF absence for few days and
months salary Yin advance. at will be a
great accom- odatioH to me-" he said, and
| won't forget it, The baron granted his
request unheaitatingly, wheTeupon the
clerk squeezed his hand warmly, crying
you're Christian, you are; I'll DO az
much for you next time"
While the postal-route agent on the
Boston and Providence railroad was as
sorting the m:il, the other day, he was
horror-struck At the following address on
postal card: MIR James Burnes, alias
John Nj. Finn, in care of Mike Duffy or
his sister Lizzie Duffy, or her cousin Mol
Mccarthy, corner of Cross street and Jer-
ry Ragans Hilt, North Main street Taun
ton, Mass, wholesale fish peddler and tin
horn artist. y not there, elsewhere.
a rather flssh;ly-dressed young lady,
in company 18th her mother, was coming
out OF church, and while walking down
the massi7e stone steps the old lady
slipped and went headloDg to the side
walk. The daughter, horror stricken, Ind
her face N a twenty-five dollar handker-
chief, and instead of helping fer mother
up, blurted out, 30, mother. such an
idea! How could you fall here's You
are perfectly awful I'm sorry came
out with your
\ Glasgow munster was recently called
in to see luan y no was very ill. After
| flushing his visit, as he was leaving the
I house he said TO the mans wife: my
good woman, do you not go to any
church at allP" oh, yes sir, we gang 10
Barony Kirk" Then why in the
world did you send for met Why didn't
you send for DIR. MacleodIn Ma, Ds,
deed no; we wadna risk HIM. Do We ken
it's dangerous case of typhus2"
This city bcasts young lady of twenty
Que So culchered that when, the otncr
day, sounds as of thousand consecutive
gates, with iutorludes as of the ripping
up Of clapboaTded houses by tornadoes,
issued from the yard in the rear of her
paternal mansion, she said TO the young
man who VS. sitting in the psrlor with
or and opined that there had been u
terrible accident 20, no; that ls only
pa and my brother Bobby having a trunk
sharp recital in the woodshed.n
There is some humor in Texas. The
other day nam brought out forlorn,
spayiued-l looking steed, and addressed the
spectators thus: Fellow citizens, this
is the famous horse, Dandy Jack. Look
at him. He is perfect. If he were sent
To t. e horse MAKER, nothing could be done
for him. What shall / have for the
natchless steedP, "What will you take
TOR him9n yelled the crowd. 1.-TWO hun
bred dollars Give you So "Take
Kim. never let $l95 stand between me
and a horse trade" That's business.
The peril of employing highly educat-
Ell Young men as clerks was illustrated
the other dav A woman stopped at a
green grocers on Woodward avenue, and
asked: ais them lettuce freshl" "You
mean that lettuce" suggested the clerk,
"and it is fresh" "Then you'd better eat
III" she snapped, as she walked on. The
glocer rushed ont and asked the clerk what
on earth hat happened 10 anger her, and
the young lnan replied: "Why, nothing,
only | corrected her grammar" "You
have turned away one of my best custom
ers Only yesterday she came IN and
!, asked me how | sold those white sugar,
and got an order for a whole barrel.
Hang you sir but if them customers
want grammar, they don't expest to md
be, in grocery! No, sir; and If you see
sht again You want TO apologize in the
most humblcrist manner" Detroit Free
P,ess.
The discovery of natural soap mine
near Elko, Nevada, is fruitful topic of
discussion IN Colorado. This natural
soap seems to possess all the qualities OF
; the best CASTLE soap, and has for years
been used by the citizens of the country
/ surrounding the mine for washing pur-
/ poses, Just as it comes out of the ground
A similar mine in California is worked
J the soap from the mine manufactured IN
= large quantities, and is proving very
profitable. The owner of the Nevada
mine believes he has fortune in sight,
and there is a very large probability that
he is correct III his calculation.