Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-04-10
Sips of Fun.

ii
A man who works with a vii
"a lawyer.
An anonymous article-a bab,
before it's christened.
I Many men whistle from wan
of thought, but few from though
of want.
The more whisky straight ;
man takes the more crooked ht
becomes.
Simple pity amt much better
to a person than an insult; but
to pity him with a five dollar bill
is business.
An Ohio man had his neck
broken while trying to break a
colt. The safest way to break a
colt is to hire one of your credit
ors to do it.
Waiter to member of legisla-
ture-"Will You have some des-
sert?" Member to waiter--"No,
thank you, I'll take a piece of
pie"
An impossible feat for a fe-
male pedestrian is to walk thou
sand miles in a thousand hours
past one thousand milliner stores
displaying the latest styles Of
spring bonnets.
The dryest place in this coun-
try is Greeley, Col. The region
around has to be irrigated for
crops, and the men in town have
no saloons to call ON when their
crops are parched.
"The only jokes women like
to read are those which reflect
ridicule OH men" YES" says
an exchange, son taking up
paper a woman invariably turns
to the marriage column"
A young fellow, boasting in
company ofhiS travelling abroad,
was asked by one present how
he made his way. "By my wits,
replied the other. "Indeedp
says he; "then you must have
travelled very cheaply."
A Scotch lady had invited a
gentleman to dinner on q partic-
ular day, and he had accepted
with the reservation, ''If Pm
spared" "Weel, weel," said the
lady, ''if ye're dead I'll not ex-
pect yc."
ola Surprise" is the name of
a new hat with three-quarters of
Il yard of feathers hanging from
the right side. 1t is so called
from the surprised manner in
which the husband exclaims Lar
when presented with the bill.
A country surgeon, who was
bald, was on a visit to a friends
house, whose servant wore a wig.
After bantering him a consider
able time, the doctor said: "You
see how bald / am, and yet i
wear no wig" "True, sir" re-
piled the servant; "but an empty
barn requires no ROOT"
"Sound," said the school mas
ter, ''is what you hear. For in
stance, you cannot feels "A sound"
"Oh, yes, you can!" said a smart
boy. John Wilkins" retorted
the pedagogue, show do you
make that out? What sound
can you feel?' "A sound thrash
ing" quickly replied the smart
boy.
Business notions--A gentle
man recently about to pay his
doctors bill said: "Well, doc
tor, as my little boy gave the
measles to all my ncighbors'
children, and as they were at
tended by you, | think you can
afford, at the very least, to de-
duct ten per cent. from the a
mount Of my bill for the increase
of business we gave YOU"
1t never rains in Peru, and one
in that climate don't know what
it is to get up Sunday morning
and spend five hours pumping
out his cellar, when he is just
Wild to go to church. But to a.
tone for this pleasant pastime,
he has to stand up about four
times a week and let a ringing
earthquake kick him clear across
the county line in one time and
two motions.
"Ah, by George!'' groaned
young Mr.. Leathcred, sinking
weariIy into an ofIice-chair, "Ah,
by George! my head aches fear
fully" "Possible?" asked his
employer, old Mr.. Hardfax, with
a look Of curious interest and
sympathy. Possible? Som G
thing must have got in to it. "
And then for a long time nobody
said anything, and the room SEEM
ed to grow about fifteen degrees
colder.
"Now, children" said a Sun
day school superintendent, who
had been talking to his scholars
about good people and bad peo-
A.