Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-02-20
Sips of Fun.

1.-THE smallest toe.
The hair of buffalo is now
largely employed in making
lovercoats, which are all wool.
The man who can't catch colo
now and then, and who never
has pains or aches, was intend.
ed originally for a rhinoceros
A cash drawer which cal
keep the books, battle thieves
act as a Watchdog, sweep ont
light the fire and scare the boot
blacks out of the alley would be
sure Of a large sale.
The Oil City Derrick call.
Mr.. Robert lngersoll's attention
to the fact that Sodom and Go.
morrah are to be rebuilt, and re-
spectfully suggests that he an
nounce himself for Mayor.
DWELL, and what did you dc
then?" asked counsel, after bad
gering a witness. "Why, went
to the rescue as quick as Il law
yer goes for il fellows pocket
book" F" The court rose to it.
Nothing VIII reassure a man
quicker when he meets a suspi-
cious looking stranger in a lone
ly street, and sees him reaching
for his pistol pocket than TO see
him pull out piece OF plug to-
bacco instead.
A divine passing a fashiona-
bic church, on which Il new
spire was being erected, was
asked how much higher it was
to be. "Not much; that congre-
cation don't own very far in
that direction"
Said a railroad engineer, to
AN Irishm IN whose COW had
- killed: "But she didn't get
out Of the way when l rang the
bell" "Fli,h, thin,' said Pat,
"yc didn't sthop when she rang
her bell, nayther.'
A youth Of about twenty Win
ters exhibited tie respect for
age prevalent among the youth
Of this country 10y rcmarking-
"Ihere's my old father, now;
he's most seventy years old, and
knows nearly as much as | do" "
In struggling to make a dull
Drained boy understand what
conscience is, teacher finally
asked, "What makes you feel
uncomfortable after you have
done wropg?" 'Father's leath-
er strap" feelingly replied the
boy.
The man wl.o strikes his wife
and afterward repents and takes
her to his arms again can find
but one song in the language
with which 10 express his feel
ings. 1t is the one which be-
gins, "Cone to my bosom, my
own stricken dear"
Squire Go old buller)-"Pat,
yc old rascal, you've been at
the whiskey again; | can tell by
the smell" Pat-"Arrah, yer
honor, if twas yerself that didn't
know the smell of the whiskey
so well, it would be the betther
for all ay u.s."
The Season says that the late
Dean Richmond once asked a.
would-be dead-head the grounds
OF his application fora free pass.
"Simply because / don't want
to pay" The testy old railroad
king at once handed him a pass,
and said: "Sir, l respect you.
You're the first dead-hcad that
ever told the truth"
"Darn FOOL" says Harkins,
who was yexed, to his wife. $50
mote it be-" said Mrs. H., fio1r-
ishing darning needle, "whcre-
abouts are you worn out?'' Har-
kins said some people were too
smart to live long, and was aw-
fully angry when his wife con-
graduated him on his prospects
for a long life. Oh, the tongue
Of these women!
One of the midshipmen from
the United States frigate Con-
stellation, at Newport, is partic-
nlarly bashful. On being intro
duced to one of the bellies of
the day, he seemed to think it
necessary to apologize for SO as
founding a piece OF presumption,
and modestly stammered, 81 beg
your pardon, Miss;-it is not my
fault; but, ahi the captain or
lered me to ask You to dance"
4 Minnesota doctor claims TO
have discovered a-specific cure
Tor drunkenness, and IS now in
where he proposes to
demonstrate that drunkenness is
1 disease of the nerve cells. lie
las had a 160-horse power fac
.ory running on the specific for
some months, turning out a ton
,f the stuff per day, and he thinks
n another week or two he will
nave enough manufactured to
work on the mode