The Newtown bee., 1879-03-04
Denouncing the Paragraphers

Denouncing the Paragraphers.
 Mrs. Blake, in her "Plea for Women," goes for the paragrsphers with a sharp stick She starts of with general denunciation of newspaper men in general snd the paragraphers in particular, and winds up her discourse with plea that newspapers devote more space to the wants of women, and and less to paragraphers to make fun of them. Always anxious to let our light shine, we will give Mir. Blake's argu- ment place in OUT columns, and prom. ise not to charge cent for the favor. She starts of by saying: You take up a newspaper, for instance, and looking through its columns you will scarcely find anything of direct interest to women until your eye lights upon a fashion letter. This is all very well. We heartily believe in |" the gospel of good gowns," but it is 6iscouraging that this should be all, and it usually is all until you turn to acolumn headed, perhaps, "Abous Women" or "Femi- nine Items" On looking down this you will find it made up of little SO ciety gossip, some more fashion notes, and paragraphs which the funny man exhausts himself in writing, as. for in stance
 The true girl has to be sought for" says Oliver Wendell Holmes She does, Oliver, she does; especially if you want her the day milliners have their fall openings. She has to be sought for pretty thoroughly then.
 We would like to remark that the "true man" has to be sought for a good deal more diligently, and that it is difficult thing to find him, at any time, by reason of his going to much worse places than millinery openings.
 And here is another.
 Ladies are the watches pretty enough to look al; sweet faces and deli cate hands, but somewhat difficult to "regulate after they are set agoing.
 We beg to say again that although having "sweet faces and delicate hands," they do resemble poor watches, in that they are very apt to go "too fast, and as consequence 10 get very much "run down." and as for regu- lating them that is quite impossible.
 Here is another witty paragraph
 If young ladies attending church would give more attention to the num- Der of the hymn the pastor gives ont, and not so much attention to the num- Der of hims that are in the church, they would not be so apt 10 sing one hymn while the congregation are singing another.
 To which we would reply that 20 few young men go to church at all that if the young ladies do look at them which we do not for a moment admit it is because they are natural curiosities; and what young men do go, never by chance do anything else but look at the pretty girls.
 Our friend Mrs. Blake then goes on to say: Instances of the sort we have here given might be indefinitely null tiplied, and it is difficult to take up funny column anywhere without feeling that woman must be regarded by the paragrapher as some queer and rare animal, like dodo or a plesiosaurus- a singular being occasionally discovered by the naturalist, and of whom all sorts of strange things may bestated-sweep- ing assertions with regard to the whole sex being constantly made which have only reference to fractional DOT ton of if. Lovely woman, says the orator of the evening at public dinner, and never remembers the toiling thou sands of plain femininecreatures who aa D struggling for their wretched existence. If party of ladies were to toast Lovely man it would be no more absurd. Anything trivial or criminal that women do is duly chronicled in the papers; anything serious that they undertake is passed by unnoticed or compressed into the briefest possible statement. Ac- counts of the first sort amuse male read CTS of the papers, accounts of the latter weary them; while matters even of grave import to women are lightly noticed, as, for instance, during Horace Greeley's day, the Tribune chronicled three wife murders under the head of Minor Items.'"
 From this subject she goes on and clamors for woman's suffrage; wants to vote. drive street cars, play billiards, be a politician; and finally prays for the time to come when women will have money enough to print great journal. which shall be written by women, for women and about women. We advise Mrs. Blake to confine herself to the columns of the papers already estab- lished. Starting newspaper has dc moralised many . full-grown fortnnes and many man has retired . wiser and poorer man after having tried the ex- | pertinent to his entire satisfaction. Upon tho other points of the discourse We arc in per1eot aocord with tho lady, and pronise not to poks any more finn at the Women-nntil we got fttle iae- ure tima N1rofro Gnse<ta