The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-08-28

greets you all War and pestileuce
have thinned your ranks aud des.
troyed your once proud nation. Po-
ker, and seven.up, and q vain mod
ern expense for soap unknown 10
your glorious ancestors, have deplet
cd your purses. Appropriating, in
your simplicity, the property Of 9th
ers have gotten you into trouble.
Misrepresonting facts, In your sin.
less innocence, has damaged your
reputation wiii the soullsss. Trad.
ing for forty. rod whiskey, to enable
you to get drunk aud happy aud
tomahawk your families, has played
tho everlasting mischief with The
picturesque pomp Of your dress, and
here you are, In the broad light Of
the nineteenth century, gotten up
like the ragtag aud bobtail OF the
purliens Of New York I For shame |
Remember your ancestor I Recall
their mighty deeds Remember
Uncas land Red Jacket and
Hole.in-the-day land Horace Gree
ly! Emulate their achievement !:
Uufurl yourselves under iny banner,
noble ravayes. illustrious gutter
snipes-'
down wild him I
SCOOP the blagard Y
Hang him =
"Dhrowned him I
IL was the quickest operation that
ever was. l simply saw o sudden
fl Ssh in the air OF clubs, brickbats,
fists, head baskets and moccasins -
single flash and they all appeared to
hit me at once, aud no two Of them
in the same place. In tho next in
stant the entire tribe was upon me.
They tore all the clothes off me, they
gave me thump that dented the
top OF my head till il wouli coffee
like u saucer and to crown their
disgraceful proceedings and add in.
suit to injury they threw me over
the Horse sho, Fall, aud got wet.
About ninety nine or a hundred
feet from the top, the remains Of my
vest caught on a projecting rock,
and ! was almost drowned before I
conld get loose. I hnally fell, and
brought up in q world of white foam
at the foot OF tue Fall, whose ceiled
and bnbbly masses lowered up sew
eral inches above my head. OF course
l got into the eddy. I sailed round
and round iu it .forty-four times
chasing u chip. and gaining on it
each round trip half mile reach
ing for the same bush on the bank
fourty.four times by hairs breadth.
At last q man walked down aud sat
down close to that bush, aud put
pipe in his mouth aud lit u match.
aud followed mo with one eye and
kept the other on tho match while
he sheltered It in his hands from the
wind. Presently puff Of wind blew
it out. The next tune swept around
him ho said
SCOT a match 7
"Yes-in my other vest. Help
me ont. please"
"Not for joe"
When / came round again, I said
Excuse the seemingly impertinent :
curioity OF u drowning man, but will
you explain this singular conduct OF
yours 2
"With pleasure. ON the coroner,
Don't hurry on my account. can
wait for you. But wish had
match
I said, "Take my place aud I'll go
and get you Que.
He declined. The lack of conf.
dence on his part created coolness
between us, and FROM that time for.
ward avoided him It was my
idea, in case anything happened TO
me, to so time the occurrence a. to
throw my custom into the hands OF
the opposite coroner over on the
American side. At last q policeman
came along and arrested me for dis
turbing the peace by yelling at peo-
pie on shore for help. The Judge
fined ms, but had the advantage Of
him. My money was with my pan"
falcons, and my pantaloons were
with the Indians.
Thus I escaped. I am now lying
in q critical condition. At least I
an lying, any way-critical or not
critical.
! am hurt all over, but I cannot
tell the full extent yet. because the
doctor is not done taking the inven-
tory. lie will make out my manifest
this evening. However, thus far, he
thinks only six OF my wounds are IA.
tai. don t mind the others.
! shall not be able to 6nish my re.
marks about the Niagara Falls until
I get better.