Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-07-24
WIT and Hu71zOr.

q AeSu AdAI 10 SstiNi ~ NC HILL -Itl-lldTV,
: Thess.scene of many a tragedy-Kero
: sene.
: Dancing-masters seldom bave any mon
ey, but they're always taking steps to rails,
some.
The medicine for sick man is to bacl
him against a mule. That animal will hee
him.
Buffalo Express: "There is no place like
Chicago" says Chicago paper. That is
so, and deuced lucky thing it is, too.
An up-country church society offers 6
reward for the arrest of the person. who
surreptitiously introduced hornets nest
into the grab-bag.
Order small boy to go in swimming.
and the chances are that he will not like to
do it.-Erchange. Bekase, dye see, small
boys are not made to order.
A Chinaman never swears when he gets
mad, because there are no s'cuss words' in
his dictionary. He simply upsets his wash
tub, butts the bottom out, kicks dog and
| feels better.
Georgia Doctor to Widow: 81 cannot
tell you how grieved l am to hear that
your husband has gone to heaven. We
were bosom friends; but now we shall
never meet again."
A petrified mule was found in New Mex
leo the other day. One of the discovcrers
concluded to remove the shoes that still
remained on the hind feet of the animal.
He lies buried behind the mule.
A parishioner of a Berkshire pastor was
asked what the color Of the parsons eyes
was. He didn't really know, ''for." said
he, "when he prays his eyes are shut, and
when he breaches l generally shut mine"
Rev. Mr.. Nye, of New York, asks:
"Where did Cain find his wife?'' An old
lady in Brooklyn said, sit was the first
she knew that Mr.. Gains wife had been
lost. Her old man didn't take the pa
pers.''
1t is now announced on the authority of
an eminent physician that it is not healthy
to rise before s o'clock in the morning.
This applies only to men. Wives, it is
said, can rise at Z and start the fire as here
tofore.
A bright boy was walking along the
street with his mother, and, observing
man with a peculiar hitch in his gait ap-
he drolly exclaimed: s.Look
here, mamma! See how that poor man
suffers with his feet.''
Too many of us are in the very doubtful
position of the poor fellow who writhed
'nder numerous gossippy reports, and (
Who at last published card of defiance.
n which he declared that not a single one S
# the lies in circulation about him were 6
rue. d
A peasant, being at confession, accused |
imself of having stolen some hay. The
ather confessor asked him how many c
undles he had taken from the stack. I
That is of no consequence" replied the
"you may call it wagon-load, b
'r my wife and l are going to fetch the Il
very soon" t
Nothing so thoroughly pleases a man II
no has learned that a collection is to be
ken in his church on Sunday morning, y
I'd who has consequently been unable to
present, on account of severe pain in q
S back, as to attend the evening service III
I'd hear the clergyman announce that,
Is many who desired to give were not
esent at the morning collection, it will
w be repeated"
An old gentleman without tact, on meet T
g some ladies whom he had known as 1,
rls in his boyhood, cordially remarked, er
'less me! how time flies Let me see: "a
is fifty-two years come next April since
used to go to school together in the old th
l school-house. was little chap then, ri,
IL remember, and you were fine young
men," The old man could never under in,
nd why his cordial greeting was received
coldly. ey
An old darkey caught a two-pound yo
.ker one day, and was SO well satisfied So
h his work that he lay down for nap, 1
h the fish beside him on the grass. An the
er darkey came along presently, picked asi
the sucker and left halfpound one in mi
place. When the first man and brother lik,
ke up the first thing his eyes sought Ed
the fish; and it took him some sec gra
Is to realize that something had hap the
ed. Then, turning his prize over and line
mining it all around, he simply said lon
,Ily how dat fish am shWtlnked." wit