St. Landry democrat., 1879-11-08
Putting ON Airs.
WHAT TOOK THE FRILLs OCT OF ONE
MAN,
ISRn Fraueieco Post,l


gentleman tourist who sat slipping
lemonade in Baldwin bar-rooin, tn
other day, and who remarked, as q self
important looking individual came il
and haughtily ordered whisk.
straight:
Now, 'spose that gentleman is on,
Of your bonanza fellows, and owns
about twO-thirds of the real estate
round here?'
"No," he replied; "hes much
greater parsonage. He is one of the
successful candidates of the late cleo.
ton"
~ might have known it!" exclaimed
the old gentleman. emphaticaIly. He
acts just as did when was elected to
Congress-"
How was thatq"
"Well, you see, I WAS elected NJ. c.
from the Fourth District just after the
war. We had a pretty lively cam
paign of it, and, as / never had been
in politics afore, / somehow got the
idea that the whole country had quit
work and was watching my contest
with quivering anxiety. Every time
the other. side accused me Of being a
chicken thief, Or a bigamist, or some
thing, and I'd get back at them with a
Another Lie Nailed" Id send a
marked copy to every leading paper in
the country.
Did, ehqH
Yes, and I was disgusted to find
they never paid the slightest attention
to me neither. What surprised me
more was that, although l kept the
President and Cabinet advised of every
thing that occurred, I never got the
stlghtest sympathy from any of them.
| was an administration man, too. and
thought it WAS blamed singular"
Didn't notice you at ALL"
Not at sll, Sir, and when Was elec-
ted, and the boys lighted a bonfire in
the main street, sud serenaded me, and
spoke SIX hours in the open air as to
my future course on the tariff and the
finances, the New York papers merely
said that q Mr.. Gum had been elected
BY & small majority my name being
Gonley, as you know"
That was hard"
well, / put that all down to envy
and malice, and | started for Washing
ton. | expected that at least the Speak
or of the House and committee ap-
pointed by the Senate would be down
at the depot to welcome me to the
capital
Did they do sos
THE only persons that met me were
q committee of hackmen, who tore NV
over-coat half of, rammed me into a
hack and robbed me, with the aid and
assistance OF the hotel clerk, who then
gave me a dark room on the top floor,
and asked the first weeks board in ad-
vance; said it was the rule of the house
with Arkansas members"
he lmpudent rascal"
That's what thought. Well, the
next morning | got away from the bed
the White House to see if the presi-
dent would like to stroll down TO tile
House to introduce me and see me
sworn in. sent up my card, and in an
hour or two some secretary or other
sent back word that the President was
at breakfast. nd'coutdn't be bothered"
Illat was pretty short, wasn't 2"
Well, | was just dumfounded, |
However, | went down to the Capitol. |
and told the sergeant-at-arms to 20 in |
and announce TO the members that |
had arrived. He grinned and said. |
That's devilish good, that is;' and |
rushed of. | expected that, OF course, |
the members would come crowding m
20 congratulate me and say something
like magnificent speech of yours, that
last one, Gonley. Beat 'em by forty |!
eight votes, too. old fellow And then
nebbe they'd give me three cheers, and
all that sort of thing
And did they Z"
mo, sir; / hope may never stir if
hey. didn't give me back scat in tho
until my name was called,
and q doorkeeper fired me out into tha
corridor twice under the impression
mat | was lobbyist. Well, after |
aad been put on the Joint Committee
30 Splttoons and Window Washing,
snd spent a couple Of months trying to
Tedge IN my great four-hour speech on
ne Match tax, something occurred that
ct down my check rein, and took all
he frllls out Of ME for good"
"What was that'"
Well, l was taking drive ont tn the
soldiers, Home one afternoon, with
hrce other members, when u light
buggy. went by like streak OF creased
lgt1tnlng, the trotter driven BY a
olemn looking man in a rusty plug
'at' VINO Was smoking cigar and l
With his elbow. 0 'e"'
"Ihats Butcher Boy" said ono Of
~ compsaHnlons,. with great interest;
trots III ~. He's rattIing good step
Pa you notice, that dogf" said
mother. e. Best bred pup in town; tail
bigger than a rats; Internal fine
og that"
As had nothing else to say, I casual
Inquired W ho the driver was.
IS Whv IN 20 Tho
them, with q yawn. "BY Joyei
'w I'd like to have one Of those
lps!" ~
That settled it. I've been az meek
Id sad as a car horse pulling q picnic
'er since.