The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1879-07-24
ga Graphing Mortgage"

"Don't know what q crapplng mort
gage is! To be sure you amt never
lived in the country, then," said an hon.
est, hard-working and thrifty farmer of
small means, who lives in an eastern
county, to one of our lawyers, 80 eminent
for his bonhomie as for his admirable
talents; 'eyou a lawyer and don't know
what crapping mortgage is! Well, I'll
tell you.
"i made one of them burned things
once; the way of it was this: You see I
went down to the store at the forks of
the road in my neighborhood Ito buy q
few articles that was needed at home, and
when I got 'em in the cart to 20 home,
my friend, Sharpman-he is the mer-
chant, you know, who keep little store
down there--just little country store
Sharpman, he said to me, what is the
use Of bothering along with little things
of this sortf Why don't you make q
crapping mortgage, and then yon can get
anything you want, and wont have to
pay for It until your crap come in, and
Chen you can pay it off with bale of
cotton or 'so.'
'.It sounded mighty easy like, so 1
signed one of the cussed things snd start
ed off home with my load. Well, sir,
them mortgages is curious things. I
hadn't morn got up the red bill going
home before I commenced to think of
what needed, and the internal thing
made me think Of things that / must
have that / never had wanted before.
You see always had money on hand to
buy what me and the old woman wanted,
and I had fought shy of debt all my life,
but all the neighbors was trying their
hands on crapping mortgages, and 1
thought would 60 in for little, too.
Well, I did. I kept on wanting things,
and I kept on getting things. We all
got along fine, and Sharpman sold the
old woman lots of nice things that We
never had wanted before, but that we
was bound to have after signed the
crapping mortgage. They breed wants,
they do.
'tAt last the crap came in. I sent two
or three bales of cotton down to the
store to pay it of, as Shazpman said it
would do, but it didn't. I then sent
down all my fodder, but that didn't do
it. I talked the matter over with the
old woman, and she got up all the ducks,
chickens and eggs, and I sent down all
the corn that I had made, and that didn't
60 It; 80 I Just got on my horse and rode
down to the store to see about it. I
looked at what We had bought, all figured
up, you know, and there was always what
you call a balance agin me. So / Just
took cut my pocket book that had had
the mortgage in it all the time, and paid
off the mortgage, and took the confound-
ed thing and went back home. Well,
when I got there thought I'd read over
that paper that always managed to keep
a balance agin me somehow or other, and
1 done 80. Well, now, what do you
think was in that crapping mortgage? l
hope the recordin' angel amt listening,
but I wish may be id if that 'ere lit
tie crapping mortgage weren't spread all
ever my land. My horses, my mules,
my stock, my farming utensils, my house
hold and kitchen furniture, even the
dish-rag was flung into it. I always
thought that the things must have India
rubber in 'em, they stretched 80, and
they ought to be called dish-rag mort
cages, oughtn't theyH Well, let me tell
you, never sign one. You never will get
through paying it, and when them store
fellows tell you how easy it is to get
things and pay for 'em in the fall, you
remember what I tell you about crap
ping mortgage"
And having finished his description of
these little engines of oppression, he
pulled out his twist of homemade tobac-
CO, that looked as rich and brown as
walnut wood, and cut off chew with
his horn-handle knife, put it into his
mouth, put the knife and tobacco back
into his breeches' pocket and walked
away. He turned round after walking q
little way, and said, refectively: "Don't
never you sign one in the world +; if you
do, you will never get through paying it
Off"