The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1879-02-06
Zachias he
Did climb a tree,
The U. s. Senate
For to see.

An aged maiden lady refused to go on ship
board on learning that there were shrouds
aboard the vessel. 1t always made her nervous
to think of the dead. bosses. I
Sitting Bull wants to come back, and an
nounces that his war-paint sis scattered to the
Winds" Now, if Sitting Bull would only fol-
low his war-paint!
The Commanche Indians said to live by
stealing. This opens the way for Mr.. Schurz to
solve the Indian question. Let him scatter
them over the country officers of Savings
Banks. i-sa5 'G5t
An old politician, named Sam,
Thought he could succeed by mere sham
Now he's ravin' and rantin',
About Pelton and Manton,
And declaring they're not worth dram.
So! Mr.. Tilden was compelled, on account of
Nephew Pelton's imprudence to forbid him the
house. The way they imposed upon the kind
hearted president was sin and a shame.
The Cincinnati Gazette favors hanging with
out breaking the neck. The culprit who is
hung up and choked to death will doubtless
return thanks to the Gazette for Its labors in
his behalf.
The Southern Brigadiers who want to answer
Gen. Bragg, on the subject of Rebel Claims,
longer. There is necessity for putting an
escape pipe on the Capitol.
Prof. Loomis says he can telegraph across the
ocean without the of wires. There's an
electric current in the air. That's not perma-
nent, Professor That electric current is just
now caused by Gen. Bragg's speech, on South
ern claims.
Jim A1eshire has about made up his mind
that he isn't as big man as Wade Hampton.
No, Jim, you're not. You never will be, uni til
you wrap the American flag around yeu and
get kicked by mule.
Chiefs Joseph and Yellow-Bull were intro
duced to Mrs. Hayes few days ago. Joseph
did not call his friend by his proper name dur
ing the interview. He called him the "Sunlit-
Bison"
An old lady, hearing that the Indians at Fort
Robinson had been attacked with mortar,
exclaimed: stWell, 1 should think it bad
enough to foller an shoot at women an chill
dren, 'thout kiverin 'em with mud"
Dalzell wrote to George William Curtis, ask
ing if he (Curtis) was candidate for the Berlin
Mission. Curtis answered in the negative, but
didn't once ask if Dalzeu was candidate.
What breach of courtesy!
PeioSCS
place, who had the power of shifting his stom-
ach from side to side, by a sort of muscular
contraction. The Democratic leaders control
thei- political principles much as the darkey
did his stomach.
"Women's Pedestrian Clubs are becoming
common" says an exchange. All well, send
them along Maybe they won't hit any harder
than the rolling-pin or broomstick.
raising the box of cayenne pepper to his nose
"that little, very little, of this snuff goes
great wa" but a small boy struck his elbow
and the remark was lost in the explosion thai
followed
1t is reported that Senator DUNCAN has gone
to Washington to coax Senator Thurman tc
run for the Governorship of Ohio. But the ole
gentleman will wave the red bandana in tn,
face of his youthful friend and snort defiance
Senator Matthews said recently in an inter
view, that the Republican party would have.
good chance of success in 1880. were it not 70
internecine strife. The Senator should hav
gone on, and told who were the authors OF th,
s'fnternecine strife"
"Drive out the Heathen Chinee" sWe hal
no room heah fob de pagans" $50 away mi
yer pig-tail shinamen dey moost go right ava,
pack aginp p' "Whack Down with the dom
med haythun; there's no place for the loikes c
him in this fray country v'
Senator Seitz, narrow minded copperhea
from Seneca county, spoke, last week, of tn
inmates of the Soldiers and Sailors Orphans
Home, as the children of worthless class"
class of "vagabonds pensioners and leeches,
and '.dissolute paupers." This is Democrat
sentiment, out and out. Mr.. Seitz is probabl
one of those fellows who, during the war, hel
meetings behind haystacks and solemnly de
clared the Hwah a failyahn