The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1879-10-18
THIS AND THAT.
-Woman's writes-Postscripts.

THIS AND THAT.
-Woman's writes-Postscripts
"A dangerous net-A brunette.
Even the bootblack says his business is
Frightening.
The soft-shell crab considers his case a
hard one.
Blue fshing-.when you don't catch
anything but a moss-back terrapin.
There is said to be good deal of shoot
ing at Leadville; propably because the
place is lode-ed.
"A white man who had married a ne
gress offers color-blindness as his only ex-
cuse.
The man who saw Grants vessel first
and was first to propose three cheers has al
ready fled his claim for postofIice.
1t is getting chilly; it is time to light
the Office fire. Now is the time to send in your
poems on autumn.
Says Josh Billings: mover had man
to cum to me for advice, but before he got
thru ho had more advice to offer than to
ask Tor.
Showers of live snakes are reported in
Arkansas, and we call John B. Grough's and
Francis Murphy's attention to Old Prob.
AT social gathering recently, the fol-
lowing toast was proposed and drank: ain
ascending the hill of prosperity may we
never meet a friend"
Some rusty crusty, fusty, musty, dusty.
gusty, custy, curmudgen of a man gave he
following toast at a celebration: "Our fire
engines-may they be like our old maids
ever ready, but never wanted"
"A fair retort, that of the little four-year-
old whose father, on bidding him bood-bye
in the morning, said to him, "Be a good
boy" and who replied, abe a good man,
papa"
The quickest way to get rich is to mar
ry an heiress, but its awful hard on the
heiress.
Young lady, who can't hear herself
play because of the racket nude by the lawn
mower-"John, how long shall you be, l
want to practice?" Gallant young gardener
oh, go yeouw on, Miss Amy. l shan't
mind your noise"
-"Your son, madam, persists in doing
nothing" says the director "Then, you
should give him prize for perseverance"
said the mother, not in the least discon-
certed.
-"Onc Touch of Nature."-(George has
promised his Ethel the first shot for luck.
A covy rses.) Ethel lat the critical mo-
ment)-"0h, George! Perhads they, too,
have loved"
"A waXwork figure of Franklin, on eX-
hihition in France, is labeled, "Francklin,
the inventor of electricity. This savant,
after having made several voyages around
the world, died on the Sandwich Islands,
and was devoured by savages, of whom not
a single fragment was ever recovered.
--Ofa certain painter it was SAID he was
drunk all the time. He drinks everywhere
and everything. Poor boy, he was disap-
pointed in love. 1t was a great blow to
him, and he drinks to drown his grief
at seems, them" says some one, "that his
grief knows how to SWIM"
The freside gossip is now living in
glorious anticipation, in view of the APP
preaching long evenings. Already he sees
the poor victims whom he proposes to anni-
hilate trembling with fear. What a pity,
that SO valuable an acquisition to the world
as the social gossip cannot live always; yet,
such is fate, and we submit.
"A gentleman who was interceding with
Bishop Bloomfield for a clergyman who was
constantly in debt, and had more than once
been insolyent, but who was man Of tai
ents and eloquence, concluded his eloquent
eulogism by saying, "In fact, my lord, he is
quite st. Paul" "Yes, in prison Oft, said
the bishop dryly.
He walked by the sign of clothing
store, slowly spelled out the letters, and then
soliloquized Summer suitsi wall, perhaps
it does, but it pears to me there was triAe
tew much rain during haying, and tew
much drout for the arfter feed but then,
mebbe it suites you village folks"
"A young man dressed in the height Of
fashion and with a poet turn of mind was
driving along country road, and upon ga
zing at the pond that skirted the highway,
said, ooh, how l would like to lave my
heated brow in those cooling waters" An
lrshman, overhearing the exclamation,
Immediately replied, fBedad, ye might lave
it there, and it wouldn't sink"
-"The pots The parson: T'm
very sorry to hear, Mrs. Brown, that you
We're present last night, at Plymouth Breth-
ren's tea meeting. l have often told you
that these doctrines are highly erroneous u
Ms. Brown Erroneous, sir, their doc
trines may be but their cake, with Sultany
raisins, is excellent.