Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1879-05-29
Science and the Metenlyes.

Mrs. hetcalf," said the magistrate, "do
| understand that you make charge of as
sault and battery against Mr.. MetcalfI'
Not exactly, your honor; you See
"One minute" said Mr. Metcalf. Per
init me TO explain the matter. | wanted a
patent douole-action boomerang. The pc
culiarity OF the boomerang is that when
you throw 1t forward it flies backward and
hits something behind you
When you throw it behind you, Whist
does 1t dog
Comes straight 10 the front. On Trts-
day | bert the Kitchen poker into the
boomerang shape aud begun to study the
scientific aspects OF this remarkable weap-
on
What for:'
Partly for the sake of developing scien-
titic truths, partly for the purpose OF killing
ducks. Ii want TO kill duck with
boomerang what do | do? | walk away
from him. 90 in the opposite direction.
This lulls suspicion in the ducks mind.
He thinks | am after another duck. Sud
denly take careful ain. say at Jones col
ored man. who is chopping wood In the
ue1t yard. | let iiy and the first thing you
know that boomerang has gone whOoping
over my shoulder aud killed the duck
dead-dead as Julius Cesar. It's one OF
the most beautiful things in the world.
Did you ever kill one in that way"
"WelI, that Is just the point. No. l did
not. | sm practicing This is what has ex-
cited Mrs. Metcalf Wednesday morning,
while | was in the yard trying the thing, |
forgot. aimed at the oird house on the
grape arbor, and the poker went over nv
head a"d straight through the kitchen win
dow. | apologiZed to Mrs. Metcaif aud
tried again. This time aimed right at the
Kitchen window, intending to hit the bird
box behind me. The boomerang must have
got twisted somehow, for the scientific
principle was temporily suspended, and
went bang! through the kitchen window
again"
Struck Mrs Metcalf?''
"Struck her as wicked outrage. Bot
explained, and bent the poker back to the
proper angle. Then l aimed at the pump
few behind me. and nearly brained Matil-
ds, the hired girl, who was coming out OF
the woodshed with an armful of chips, un-
happily, at that moment"
"Where is MatildaT'
'.Iu the hospital. She is having a trepan
"A kind of trap-door-let into her skull.
She will sue me as soon as she comes out.
1t is hard to suffer for scientific truth"
But have you managed TO hit any ducks
yet:"
I'm tell yoa. | caught duck and tied
it down to raspberry bush. | projected
the boomerang at that duck two hundred
and seventy three times, not counting once
when ii slipped. l hit everything within
forty feet of the bird hit all the loose
ducks and chickens; l smashed the glass
in the hothed; | sent the poker twice
through sheet on the clothes line; l dug
up all the flower beds, smashed eleven
pots, ruined two young pesch trees, broke
the top of of the pump, and mamed one
pet dog tor life, but | never hit any partic-
ular duck once. don't know why. Prob
ably haven't got the hang of the thing
yet"
"And Mrs. Metcalf wants you to stop
practicing, does sheE'
Yes, sir. But Pm going to learn it If
have to go out to Australia to get the knack
of it,"
swell, | hold you In 800 bonds not to
| fling that boomerang again outside of Aus
! tralia till you learn how"