The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-04-23
OUR BABY.
A:Bachelor's Experience With It,

OUR BABY.
A.Bachel0r's Experience With It,
1t was very pretty little baby-tha
is, for. q baby. T had no fault to fine
with it, as far as its individual identity
was concerned. If babies must exist.
and suppose there Is necessity for the
thing, or else where would all the grown
people come fromY---this baby was a.
we'll as any other baby.
Imention these facts merely to prove
that am in no way prejudiced. AS ia,
as mortal man can be, am an entirely
impartial witness.
It was fast asleep in its cradles little
whjte-headed doll, with long, dark eve.
lashes, and crimson dot of a mouth
against which lay its tiny fist, with five
well-defned dimples in the five Joints
thereof. It was fast asleep, say. when
Bertha came airly into the room.
~ am going over to the depot to see
mother of, Joseph; I'll be back in hall
an hour. just keep an eye to baby while
I'm gone, will you?"
looked blankly at nv sister. But
while was considering how to express
my total dissent from her audacious prop.
osition, she tripped out Of the room
her ribbons futtering in the soft spring
an.
Silence doesn't always give consent;
but Bertha had taken it for granted, in
tnls matter, ana was lett ar unwilling
guarolan OF my httle nephew.
however, ne s was last asleep; that was
one circumstance IN my favor: Mortal
2aoy couion' present a more innocent
ana cheruolc aspect than he did. So /
calmly went on with my writing, soon
becoming ohllvlons to his infantile
presence
"Ialk about tending babies" quoth
TO myself, dlpplng my goose quill tri-
umpaantly into the ink, "why, it's the
easiest business IN life. ! should never
spend my money hiring nurses. If that
little one was mine--but women never
&c know how to economic properly
AS these fancies passed through my
mind, the baby woke and sneezed.
gave the cradle an oscillatory kick.
and then burst forth into the well known
burden OF sBye baby bunting" but the
little villain absolutely declined to shut
his eyes again, like sensible baby. He
opened them wider than two miniature
moons, staring at me with an air of malev-
olence that has made me firm believer
in human depravity ever since, and de-
liberately began to cry. And the harder
lrocked the cradle and the louder sang
the more resolutely did that baby cry.
SHE'S hungry" thought I to myself.
Babies must be fed, and it's highly re-.
prehensible of Bertha to stay away SO
long" z
80 went, down into the pantry and
instituted a search for some milk. which
I had a vague idea was the diet gener-
ally preferred by toothless infancy. But
milk there was none. Lamp-oil, Stew
arts syrup, vinegar, kerosene, brandy
every thing but milk there; every known
conceivable fluid, in aggravating pro
fusion but not drop Of milk.
All this time, meanwhile, the roar Of
my Infatuated nephew, but slightly soft
ened by distance. followed me about like
Nemesis.
| rushed frantically up stairs. armed
with lump of sugar, the first soothing
expedicnt that suggested itself to me-.
s'Bless its dear little heart!-there.
there! Confound your racket can't VOL,
keep still? Take its sugar from its
own, own uncle, that's a little golden
boyr'
But the golden boy resolutely re-
rejected the sugar, screaming louder
than ever, as If its lungs were forty