The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-06-26
FUNNY PARA0RAPnS =.
Alice Oates is married again. Thre
years or during the war.

show. He gives them one.
Uneasy lies the man who has already
been caught at it once or twice.
Does it pay to steal strawberries when
the price is four cents per quart?
The fact that the Michigan Legislature
has adjourned has just reached Ohio.
Nilsson hasn't kicked over piano stool |
for nearly five weeks. Rheumatism.
James Gordon Bennett will send on the
Polaris such men rs he never wants to see |
again. $50 a.s i...
Governor Williams, is said to be SO |
economical that he signs his name
ssWms." -... .-
jefferson Davis health is improving.
And this is just where the health gets the |
start of Jefferson.
Bart Bonsall. And the old bone business
is going to the dogs. reYis l.-.
If coffee was only two cents per pound
chicory wouldbe only half that, and would
be used as much as now. t., .,
Would man with linen, duster ON
look any worse if coversed with dust? All
answers considered strictly private.
A Wyoming girl thrashed a young man
for flirting The trouble was that the
flirting was done with another girl.
"I'm off for the Sumner" remarked a
truthful Boston preacher, yesterday, "in
order to rive my congregation rest"
A writer having spoken of "a charming
young lady ;aof- eighteen /, springs q
puns.er suggests, Probably her name is
Sofy."
Circus lemonade is manufactured from
the following receipt: One hogshead If
water; the peel of one lemon; two pounds
OF alum. .ssnJ easf.tl tisi: rJ.s s.ult- 90 8
] 4 The New York Herald accuses the
Yankees of calling it ''soddy water"
They call it .suddec wather" at the Her
aid office i'-
A reckless New York skeptic offers a
premium of IS a head for spiritualistic
mediums who never have been exposed in
their tricks. ... y...-...-.f d. $50.
] The boy who sends up a kite and q
llishted lantern attached is gfeater in the
estimation of boys than the man who dis
covers a new star. .ts,st e-i.-,s ss-.,.-z
Thousands and thousands of young
ladies will graduate" during the next two
weeks and go home TO find out how much
they don't know. '!'--
1t is generally supposed that Hamlet
was Dane, but if you want to bet he
wasn't a Turk there are men who will
cover your money. rsr,y..- ~;
An East Saginaw grocer has secured a
monopoly of the business in mis- neighbor-
hood by connecting all the houses with
his store by telephone. -.-n g
Don't worry about my gong away my
darling. Absence, you know, makes the
heart grow fonder" "Of somebody else. y
responded the darling, 90 ,... ..,
During the past three years there has
been so much talk to prove there is nc
hell, that people have really begun to be
lieve there is such place.
, Cincinnati should call its principal
park the Paris green of America. It is q
! fashionable place for suicides.-E1Nev
York Commercial Advertiser.
A man in Utica has been detected in the
r act of translating "Pianafore" into Welsh
, Wghati nvgr! We'll hrdgly evjr.-[Nev
{ York Commercial Advertiser.
A Baltimore publishing house has jus,
issued a volume of poems entitled "Ths
: Broken Lamp" All, ha? Another non
, explosive kerosene disaster, eh?
, Queen Victoria flatters herself that sh,
+ has reigned forty.two years, when sht
) of government as laundress does abou
/ washIday II s..
All the fancy tints in the coming stock
D ing are to be In the foot, while the leg il
: plain brown. The women will have Il
Z wear sandals or their money will b.
I thrown away. .tsiIss p,
All, young man, if only you had not o
4 dyed your linen ulster last fall fer to max
h of it overcoat, you wOulds't not new haS
to of bought a new linen duster for you
summer wear. 50 -'1s
We expect too much of detectives
/ When we expect tkem to get off their eas,
: chairs, lay aside their brandy and cigar
I andIsit up nights to find out who stOl,
{ that hog it is expecting too much of u sal
. aried officer. DIV |'~'h1i
!, The house flies held their regular annu
al convention all over the country the frs
Of this month, and unanimously re
!. solved to adopt last years platform with
! out any change + 49,.
5 IAN English writer says that ENGLAND
a would never have interfered in the slav,
! trade but to keep other nations from max
ing money where she had no chance
2 That's her to q dot. 81. s.' g,fa s.iof'si.,s,
9 A man who went to Leadville awhil,
,, ago, and advertised, 10 teach the guitar
T was notified by the aesthetic residents tina
q if he didn't leave pretty quick he woult
!, guitar and feathers .Hc taE as-o;s
0 A Canada editor refused to be knightes
e by the Marquis of Lorne He was wise
i There are enough be'nighted editors u
d Canada already, judging from their pa
Q pers.-[ Norristown Herald.
A timid Bostonian has married lad,
! whose weight verges closely upon 20
n pounds. my DEAR" said he to her. ''shal
= help you over the fence !" mo-" say
: she to him, .'please help the fence"
THE only real bitter tears" say som
. one, "arc those shed in solitude" YOl
may bet your life that philosopher neve
" saw . ten year old boy coming ont Of tn
n wood shed in company with his fathe
f and skate strap. s.
Advice for hot weather by the Trc
+ Times: Keep cool if you can; don
|, drink anything with alcoholic poison il
!, it; eat sparingly of plain, simple food
5 keep good conscience; read your new
/ paper, and don't forget TO pay for it.
u How a Georgia Girl Rescued He
Brother.
Mr. H F. Gaulding has little daughte
eleven years old, to whose ve-and coul
s age he is indebted for the life of his thret
year.old boy. The circumstances wer
} briefly these: The boy was playing b
g the cistern in Mr.. G.'s yard. There was
e plank of, and through this aperture tn
IS little fellow fell He caught u plank, how
u over, in falling, and held for some tim
e before he was discovered. But his hoi
e weakened, and with. splash he fell int
% the cistern. His sister saw and apprec
e ated the situation. Most girls would hav
u screamed and run off in quest of help. Nc
'e SO with this little girl The screams an
't struggles for lite of her baby brother gsv
c her the strength and courage of MAJ
She saw ladder, and, with all her nigh
she dragged it to and placed it into tn
lrio nd PANT dsNxx int, fl,x,v