The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1879-05-28
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
What does Vicksburg,lMiss.

A40mC VI xNxGbOCAs
What does Vicksburg,lMiss.
The scavenger is an offal fellow.
An advance agent-A money broker.
The municipal debt Of Paris is 1897,
423, ,229.
Lost at sea-The contents of the
stomach.
A motto for a policeman-Let us club
together.
How to get rid of your fat-Sell it to
the soap-grease man.
You wouldn't think it, but bed
cover is like blister. It's counter
pain.
Why is rosebud like aEpromissory
note? Because il natures by falling
due.
If man will tell me what he thinks
ov his nabors, j kan tell him what his
nabors think of him. Josh Billings.
To be interesting speaker should be
full of his subject, unless he happens to
bic speaking against liquor.-Ptcayane
The man who has sulking wife
Can't please her with sonnet;
There's Just one WY to end the strife
Buy her summer bonnet.
..-r 3 = Waterloo Observer.
A six-year-old boy, who had been im-
prisoned up stairs for some mischief,
''raised" fine. brood of chickensb by fish
ing with hook and line from his prison
window. 81
J.P. Sanderson, chief elephant catcher
in India, has caught ninety -four ele-
plants since his arrival at tMysore in De-
cember. Four men Of the elephant
catching force have been killed. z
"Ihaverea the papers!'' was thereby
of asimple appearing old gentleman from
the country. who was asked to take q
hand in q game of cards on an Erie train.
P. Snow is the time to subscribe.
To BE TRUsTED.-One grocer asks
another: "Is MIR. man to be
trustedp" ".I think you'd find him so,"
was the reply. IF you trust him once
you'll trust him forever. Heneyer pays"
An old bachelor, who particularly
hated literary women, asked an author
ess if she could throw any light on kiss
ing. 81 could, said she, looking archly
at him, but I think it's better in the
dark"
The New York Commercial Adre1ise1
has heard from the war in South Ameri-
ca. It says: "a terrific engagement
took place on the 5th ult, between the
Chilians and BoIiyians. One br1gadier-
general lost his hat"
A few years ago it was not uncommon
to catch Holsters weighing from ten to
twenty pounds weight; now the aver
age is from three to six pounds. Lob
sters are rapidly diminishing under an
increasing demand for canning.
A most interesting sight to see is that
of a Young lady with :" lips like rubies,"
with "teeth of pearly whiteness," and
with cheeks that have stolen the "deep
carnation of the deathless rose," with
her mouth full Of gingerbread!
DON'T you wish sometimes that the
world would stop talking and let you
think? And have you never been exas-
perated to hear Some one utter the very
thought which you had cherished as
all your own, and which you were just
going to utterp
An Illinois man sleeps every night on
q spot of ground left bare for the purpose
in his house, and has an attendant
shovel clean earth over him to take the
place of bedclothes. He believes that
in this way he guards against disease.
It is our good nature and not our fine
furniture that makes home attractive.
Neao York Ne,os. But when all
the bed Stats fall out Of place, and
waken you up with a crash about mid
night, what becomes of your good ma
ture?-New Haueat Register.
Every young man in the Sioux nation
carries q pocket-mirror, either Of glass,
backed with quicksilver, or OF some
shining metal; but an Indian maid ls
not permitted to look at q reflection OF
her face, even in a brook, for this is the
masculine privilege.
A boy ten years old, son Of W. A. Al
bert, while playing in corn bin in the
elevator at Penkeld, ILL.,, was drawn down
spout which was discharging into a
car, and was drowned in the corn; NO
efforts could rescue him, although toI
some time his gasping could be heard.
Instructor in German; after astonish-
ing the division by the announcement
that the German words for "heayen"
and shirt have the same root" MI.
X, can you see any resemblance between
heaven and (clean) shirt, for instanceP
Mr.. K, ,.hesitating- Well, sir, they are
both good things for man to get
to!"-Nale Record.