New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1879-01-29

pleasant to be told that we are great.
even il We know him to be . fool who
tells us.-N. ?. Herald.
"A resident Of Cuttingville, VT, saw
what he took to be q burglar in his
room, at night, and, jumping out of
bed, throttled, with an iron grasp, the
big bass-viol which stood in the corner.
The small boy who stuck his fist
through 9 glass-door, rem arked, as he
bandaged severe cash in the back of
his hand, that it was paneless opera
ton for the door Met0Haue,s Register.
III could not but feel for him. y
Verify, FRIEND" replied the Quaker,
"Thou didst right in that thou didst
feel for thy neighbor; but didst thou
feel in the rig ht place -didst thou feel
in thy pocketa''
Mrs. P. says she is much disinfect-
cd with her new residence, caparisoned
with her old one, which was on the
road to a populous symctry, where she
was enlivened, sometimes, by seeing .
dozen funerals day.
"A man was found freezing to death
on Montgomery street at an early hour
by some citizens, but when their eyes
fell upon coil Of lead-pipe and q
so,der-iron lying near him they passed
on and left him to die.-Jerseu Citu
Journal.
Junior, parsing: "Nihil is q
noun" Professor: "What does it
come from?' Student: cit don't
come at ALL" Professor, quizzing:
doesn't it come from nihilo?" Stu
dent: No, sir. Ex nit;lo sih1 ftr'
Professor settled.
I'll wonder, uncle" said a little
girl, Iii men will ever yet live to be
hve hundred or one thousand years
old?' "No, my child" responded
the old man, "that was tried once,
and tire race grew so bad that the
world had to be drowned"
"A Pennsylvania Common Pleas
Court has decided that cock-fghting in
itself is not against tho law. In order
to bring q person within the present
law it is necessary that he should be
Interested in the proprietorship of the
pit itself. Persons can fight cocks in q
vacant lot or some similar place with
out being liable to arrest.
Among other curious letters re.
ceived at the New York City Postoflice,
few days ago, was one addressed to
''J.H: johnson, wagon and plough max
er; all kinds of work promptly attend
ed to; America" The writer had evil
IDENTIFY been instructed to address in re-
ply according to the printed letterhead
written, and had literally followed in
structions except in giving the name
of the town and State.
-Forney's Progress relates an Incl
dent in Philadelphia household which
doubtless occurs very much more fire.
quently than people are aware: A
young married man just starting out
in life, and keeping but one servant,
went to the play the other evening,
with his wife, trusting their child t.
the care of the hired girl" Whil.,
at the theater the lady, feeling unwell,
was compelled to leave, and with bey
husband reached home about $50
o'clock-of course. earlier than was
expected. To her surprise the door
was locked, and to repeated rings a..
the bell no answer was obtained. The
husband at last managed to get in BY
forcing back door. Nobody was
about. The baby was found upstairs
In a death-like sleep. The doctor, OF,
being summoned, declared that it had
been drugged. At eleven o'clock tho
servant returned. She had been to l.
party and had drugged the child to
keep it quiet. She was dismissed.
There is something very remarka.
bic about logic, and as for inferences-.
well, q man may draw one perfectly
though he never studied to be an artist.
A gentleman was sitting in his library
smoking G Havana. A friend entered
who was fanatic on the subject of to-,
bacco. Tobacco" he said, with great
fervency, "is the prince of evils. To-
bacco leads to drink, drink leads to
theft, theft leads to murder. Even a
pig has sense enough not to smoke
The argument seemed conclusive, and
the last statement was assuredly cor
rect one. The gentleman pulled a huge
cloud into the air and began to ponder.
"Do you tell me-" he said at length,
"that pig wouldn't smoke7'' "Most
assuredly he would not" was the en-
phatic reply. "Ah! and you say also
that you yourself wouldn't smoker
ZIP" was the horror-struck reply; ZIP
never" "Well, them" quietly an.
swered the student of the inductivc
method, sit seems to me that you arc
more like the pig than l am. IN. r
Herald.