Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1879-11-15

pr0fanc. A man can dam little, but IL
must be mill-dam.
A young fellow was the other day raj
lying another on having large mouth.
"Yes," was the reply, "but the Lord had
to make yours small so as to give plenty
of room for your cheek"
Long John didn't to 60 the Third ward
on last Saturday. His newly tledgcd
popularity does not extent that far yet
As soon as the boys arc ready to stomach
him, he'll 90. Barkus is willing.
An unsuccessful vocalist went to the
poor-housc and delighted the inmates
with his singing. He said it was nat
nral thing for him to do, rs he had been
singing to poor houses ever since he be-
gan his career.
A Princeton professor, demonstrating
with sophomore for creating disturb
ance in the classroom, laid his hand in
sinuatingly upon the refractory ones
shoulder with the remark: "My dear
young man, the devil has hold Of YOU"
At the Yorktown celebration "blars-
ted Iiinglishman," after surveying the
situation and surroundings, said: III
can we'll understand now why Lord Corn
wallis surrendered Yorktown. i'll owned
such place would give it up myself"
'rhero is something inexpressibly
touching in the fallen leaves" sighs an
esteemed author. There is, there is.
It's when you slip on one of them on a
wet morning, and touch the hard pave
ncnt with the end of yourself.
The two-bits subscriptions are played
out. Democrats, will rest easy, for the
balance of the campaign. Scott Gordon
has enlisted in "long Johns" combina-
ton. No more of those Saturday night
colored Democratic hop. A loss that will
prove gain.
"The Banner of 49," beautiful and
cxcellently well written article which
we published in our last, was from the
pen of the gifted editor of the Baton
Rouge CAplTOLIAN, and should have
been credited to that journal.-[ Alexan-
dria Democrat
"Ma," said an inquisitivc little girl,
twill rich and poor folks live together
when they go to heaven ?? Eyes, my
dear, they will be all alike there" 'Then,
ma, why don't rich and poor Christians
associate together here" The mother
did not answer.
A tutor of a college, leturing young
man on the irregularities of his conduct,
added with great pathos: "rhc report
of yourvices will bring your fathers gray
hairs with sorrow to the grave" 81 beg
your pardon, sir" replied the pupil, "my
father wears wig"
An American tourist was visiting Ma
pies and saw Vesuvius during q erup-
ton. "Have you anything likesthat in
tho New World ?" was tho question of an
Italian spectator. "No," replied Jona-
than, ''but | guess We have Niagara
that would put it out in five minutes"
Until strong lndepcndent-Republi-
can platform is erected in the Third ward,
Long John says there is no place for him
to spread "that foot" in that noighbOr-
hood. He's prepared to go though, any
time, where the boys are ready to hear
his celebrated lecture "on free ballot and
q fair count at the polls"
1t is better not to ask too many qnes-
tions about the future. A curious follow
whose wife disliked his wishy-washy
independent political course-asked her,
"My dear, what kind Of stone 70 You
think they will give me when I am dead
and gone ~ She answered coolly,
birthstone, sir"
We are requested to inform our cOlored
voters that Scott Gordon and Edo Blood
have not been instructed to join the In
dependent Republicans by the Demo
Gratis for the purpose Of breaking up
their combination. They are there for
their country's good only. BY special
resolution they are forbidden from re-
cnlisting in the Democratic ranks.
A curious experiment was made with
cats recently in I.uttich, Germany. Thir-.
ty-soven of them were put into bags and
taken several miles into tho country,
where they were released. sWithin three
hours the first cat had found it's way
home, and before twenty-four hours had
elapsed, every one of the others had re-
turned.
81 arose at six o'clock this morning
and see what l found in taking q walk
in the highway" said the fond father,
displaying silver dollar, "is that not
proof of the advisability of early risingW
"No," replied the son. "And why ~ asked
the father, just as people doin fables and
Sunday school stories. ''Because the fell
low who lost it," boldly replied the son,
"got up too blamed early for his own
good
A young woman at Smyrna, N. Y, had
q dream, many years ago, Of eight men
standing " row before her, with out
stretched hands. She interpreted this to
mean that she would have eight hus-