Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1879-04-17
mIsCELLANEOUs.

Admiral Dot wants to marry. Judging /
rom his name, his wife will be the girl G
f the period. /
Eighty-one newspapers in California
oppose the new State Constitution and I
orty-five favor it. {
BY careless phraseology it is said that Z
he last Maine Legislature has fixed the /
Governors salary at $4,000 instead of {
81 800, as was intended.
The newIy-chosen Mayor of Vergennes, {
VT, is Ex-Representative F. E. Wood l
bridge, while his cOlored eoaehman,
Stephen Bates, is the new city sheriff.
The Missouri House of Representatives
has passed bill imposing heavy penal
ties on physicians who dodge the prohi-
bition law by prescribing whisky for al
legged patients.
The proprietor of a bone factory an
nounees that persons leaving their bones
with him can have them ground at short
notiee.-Neeg Orleans Picdyune.
In answer TO oShakespeare's connndrum,
''What's in name?'' the Syracuse Times
says that if it is a Russian generals name |
the entire alphabet is in it.
A western editor, in response to a sub |
scriber who grumbles that his paper is
intolerably damp, says it is. because there
is so much due on it.''
1t has been found that one swallow
doesn't make a spring. Therefore, if
you are ina hurry for spring, take two
or three swallows.
Old Lady-''Ah, you bad boy, draggin'
your little brother along like that S'posin
you was to kill to him ?'' Bad Boy-"Don't
care. Got another indoors!''
The dairy maid pensively MIXED the goat,
81 wish, you brute, you would turn to milk"
And the animal turned to butt her
ssJane," !" said he, 81 think if you lifted
your feet away from the fire, we might
have some heat in the room.'' And they
hadn't been married two years either.
-seone-half the world don't know how
the other half live!'' exclaimed a gossip
ing woman. s'Oh, well!'' said her neigh
Dor, ''don't worry about it; 'tisn't your
fault if they DON'T"
''You are nothing but demagogue, >"
said tipsy fellow to Tom Marshall, who
promptly paid him back: ''Put wisp of
straw around you, and you will be moth
ing but a demijohn."
'sMa,'' saida little girl, ''if you'll let
me buy some candy I'll be good" ''My
child,'' solemnly responded the mother,
'syou should not be good for pay; you
should be good for nothing"
A young man, to hector young lady
said: E'This is St. Patrick's Day; where
3 is your green bow? ?'' AS quick as fiasE
: came the response FFYou are greer
enough for me; come along"
a Granddaughter-"B you will go tt
3 the funeral of your old friend, grandpa p
t Octogenarian-"Oh don't know. Dom
S talk to me o. funerals. Much as ever
e shall be able to get to my own."
That was neat bull one of our clergy
i men perpetrated in his sermon the othe
a day. Speaking of Bunyan in prison, h
% said: ''No one but his blind daughter cam
to see him.
e The other day professor of German
asked an unregenerate Junior what tn
gender of a certain noun was. The Jun
ior quickly replied: ''I think it is neu
. ter, sir. At any rate it is neu-ter to me.
Two women of Watertown are going I
Z have talking match for championship
and twenty-five hundred and ninety-eigf
of the twenty-three hundred inhabitant
7 of the place have already purchased ticl
= cts for the West.
ssThis is Neptune" said the professo
placing his finger on the outside ball
n the system, 'Fand we are now two thol
sand, seven hundred and fifty millions
miles from the sum- Rheumatiostudel
pr on the back seat turns up his collar an
in shivers perceptibly.
ut Newport (R. ID has tax list of abo
ne twenty-five million dollars. On ten mi
az lions of this New Yorkers pay taxes ,whi
d. citizens of Boston and Philadelphia p;
lie together taxes on two and a half million
US proposition OF the Amherst (Mass
Agricultural College to use part of t
dog tax, now used for the support of TOW
I'm Libraries and schools, for the payment
'ss the college debt has excited much oppo!
m tion throughout the State.
NC There is some expectation in Texas tn
Chinese cheap labor will ultimately su
i. plant negro labor there, and according
a resolution of the Legislature thanki
- Congress for passing the Anti-Chine
III bill was laid on the table the other day.
.'What do you know Of the character
at this manP'' was asked of a witness al
police court the other day. s'What dC
an know of his character? 1 know it to
lat unbleachable, your HONOR he repli
els with much emphasis.
lat Two sophomores enter horse car; t
m first takes the only seat, and the >/seco
lg, sits in his lap. Presently young la,
enters, and the second soph. rising say
H s'Take my seat, madam Fact.-Ht
in cord Crimson.
ust Old Gent (who firmly believes in col
cd pulsory education) to Cowboy: $50
de you go to school, do you? Now, dares
you can tell me who it was that was sav
when the world was drowned, cal
ard you?" Cowboy: eyes, sir; but f,
up git his name.''
'0i Puck wants to know 'fwhat will be do
with Chinese baby born on board sh
if the full complement of fifteen is
ready on the list ?'' A Kearneyite wou
suggest that it be thrown overheard a
ges ''roeked in the cradle of the deeply
we rtstoacs Herald. 4
~ ,1 The Canadians are greatly incensed
~" .I7 finding that many of their merchants, j
4p.u before the new tariff was brought f
DS 20 ward, loaded up their shelves with Anne
- can goods which have escaped the du
as as and are now retailed at an aadvanee of
'"e or fifteen per centum.
0 it l ne olues' woman IN Ne" Hampsh