davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1879-05-25
WIT AND HUMOR.

The poll evil-election frauds.
Done with pen-a dead pig.
Weather report-a clap of thunder.
A man must be sick to throw up situa
| ton.
Hanging is too good for a fifteen cent
J chrome.
Common meter-one that registers more
gas than is consumed.
Money that bank-officers get away with
Is charged to running expenses.
The man who was lost in slumber proba-
oly FOUND his way out on nightmare.
>, When Adam ate the the apple, did he or
did he not eve aid the responsibility!
If you have little pig, you can give tia
whey and still keep it. This is curdling
joke.
You probably have noticed that fy
never expresses positive opinion on any
subject; he simply specks so.
Look out for exodus from Muncie. Ind,
IN June, Seventeen brass bands are to en-
gage IN tournament there.
The ant and seed-tick will soon send out
their Typographical engineers, with instruc-
lions to SELECT eligible sites for picnics.
Never use slang II may not apply.
Listen as A comes into BIS room. Saws B:
How do you like my new shoesl" A:"Oh
they're lmmense,"
Two men passed down the Avenue this
afternoon. One slipped and fell, and the
other entered an eating house. One got
shaked bad, and the other got baked shad.
The flea, says the Boston Transcript Is
the politician of the insect world. He is
ever itching for place, creates no end of
disturbance and you never know where to
find him.
a sewing machine agent who was yerv
III, being told that must prepar to pay the
debt OF nature, wanted to know if II
couldn't be paid on the monthly instslment
plan.
What is more deserving of our sympathy.
remarks the Middletown Transcript than
young man with fifteen cents in his pocket.
a girl on each arm and seven zoo ~-oorn
Time YOU began to think, young man,
that youth wont last forever" Permit
me to suggest my respected grandfather,
that age is not what you might call per
either. Puck
Leadville is so named because of the
cad inadvertently carried away bv pprsons
who 90 there and get saucy. A person was
buried not long since IN the local cemetery
who was so full of lead that the bearers
hought it was case Of premature petrif-
,atioa.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1879-05-25
VEGETINE
FOR
"A s II H M A.
PHILADELPHIA, PA

Mn II d c-.,- PHILADELPHIA, Pa
Dear sir,.For the last fifteen wears. during ,he
months OF May and June, | have been afflicted win
NhHt the doctors called Asthma il was yerv d.
messing rendering me miserable, so that dreaded
No ,iS coHIg on was recommended to use Vege.
, ,le' TOOK TWO bottles before expected the At.
Ieck' ana was entirely relieved feel grateful ~
'ese"nc' JNO. T. RALINGER
vvor-, llCs Greek -, Phila
had Snc, mas restored thousands to health who
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1879-05-25

DON'T Be DEcENED.-Many persons say
u haven't got the Consumption" when
asked to cure their Cough with Shioh's
Consumption Cure Do they not know
that Coughs lead to Consumption and
a remedy that will cure Consump-
ton viii oo-tAi..i,' o.l s.sviy cure
cough or any lung or throat trouble. We
know it will cure when all others fail and
our faith in it is so positive that we will re-
fund the price paid if YOU receive no ben
eft. Is not this u fair proposition. Price
10 cts, 80 cts. and Sl00 per bottle. For
lame Chest, Back or side, use Shiloh's
Porous Plaster. Price 20 cts. For sale by
Barclay Brothers.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1879-05-25
What did she say that for?r

nat I'D she say that for!n
You mud headed idiot" said Mr. Tuck
er'glye any more of your insolence, and IN
nay you alive. was going to give YOU an
Item about that mare, and what Mrs.
Tucker said about her turning somersaults
all the way home, but now I'll see Won
hanged first" go
The reporter got behind the desk, lifted
up chair to ward off missile, and then
he said calmly:
What was Mrs fuckers object in turn
ing somersaults all the way home! pitts
burgh Critic.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1879-05-25

A CARD,-To all who are suffering from
the errors and indscretions of youth, ner-
vous weakness, early decay, loss Of man
hood, &c, | will send recipe that will cure
you, FREE OF CHARGE. This great remedy
was discovered by missionary in South
America. Send selfaddrcssed envelope to
the Rev. JOSEPH 7. TNMAS, Station n. New
York City.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1879-05-25
NEW YORK GRAIN.

NEW York, Maya, 1910 Pm Wheat
qulet--No. Chicago, 81 O4@l o41l;
NO. Milwaukee, 81 O41G; Red Winter.
u oS@l 1914; No. . Red Winter, 81 800
lSh; No. . Amber, 81 14@1 IS. Corn
-quiet-steamer, 43A; No. 8, 4Sh;
No, Q, 4494.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1879-05-25

Why will you suffer with the Dyspepsia
and liver complaint. Constipation, and gen
eral debility when you can get at our stores
shiloh's sytem Vitalizer which we sell on
apositive guarantee to cure you. Price
lOcts, and rs cts, For sale by Barclay
Brothers.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1879-05-25
Latest News.
BY TELEGRAPH
LIVERPOOL GRAIN.

LIVERPOOL, May "a, 9:9Op. M-Wheat
dull-Winter, SIS lodges Adj; Spring,
IS 0d@SS 4d; California average, IS edo
Us I'd; California club, 0s 1d@0s sd. Corn
-new-4s Sd.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1879-05-25
CHURCHES.


A FklCAS NJ E.-Pourtecn;h street, between
IA Walnut aud Cedar streets; services Sabbath II
e. N. and D. m; sunday school l3Op. m.
CHRIsTIAN-El ghicenth street, meeting Sab.
- bath 1898 p. IN; preaching occasionally.
CHURCH OF THE REDEEMER-IEp
y Fourteenth street; Morning prayers (sabblh)
1000 .. m. evening prayers, ,:1j D. m; sabbath
schO0l a. m Rev. ~. j. DlllOn-Lce, Rector.
ENBsT MISSIONARY BAPTIST CHURCH
i Preaching ~ 1879 a. IN, p. m, and I'D ,. m
sabbath school q, 5:SJ ?. IN. Rev. T. j. Shores
pastor.
7 UTHERAN-Thlrteeuth street: services Sab
- bath u a n. and 7:5l ?. m; sunday school "a.
u. Rev Duer-chucr, pastor.
NJETHODlST-Co Eighth and Walnut streets;
vi Preaching sabbath 1879 q. N. and ?. IN;
prayer meeting, Wednesday go p. H., Sunday
school, D. N Rev. 4 7. Morrison, pastor.
DIRE SBYTERIAN-Right street preachin. OF
i Sabbath al ll:J q. IN and 1.5l p. M; prayer
meeting Wednesday 81 40 2. m; sunday scAoO.
o. 3 p. n. Rev. y. \. George, pastor
CECOND FREE.WlLL BAPTIST - fifteenth
- street, between Walnu, and Ceda. s,gcet.; se..
vices sabbath OF and 7:5l >. m.
CT. JOsEPH'S -jRoman Cathoicl Corner Gross
- and Walnut streets; service. sabbath 1000 q.
N; Sunday School At ?. tn; Nesper- p n; ser
vice, every day 81 p N.
CT. PATRICK'S Roman Catholic Corner Ninth
- stree, and Washington avenue; services SAB,
path and 10 o. m; Ne-pers 3 ?. m; sundAy school
. p. M services every day 81 p n Rev. :. label
priest.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1879-05-25
THE MAILS.

ENERAL DELIVERY open 80 a. m; closes
NJ $3.50 pm; Sunday: : to o u. m
Money order Department open at a. m. closes
at p. m. ~
=, Through Express Malls via Illlnols Central and
Mlssi--lppl Central Railroads close 1t l2:3Op.m.
CAIRO ana Poplar Bluff Through aud Way Mail
closes a. 1870 p, n,
Way Mail VIA Illinois Central. Cairo and YIN.
g;4b p. m. N'''' ~
way Mail for Narrow Gange Railroad closes at
Caro- and Evansville River Rout, closes Of $50
j. m daiiy except Friday.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1879-05-25
TIME TABLE.
r. X. TINE CARD AT CAIRO.

ILLINOIS CENTRAL R.R.
rRAfSs ARRIVE TRAINS DEpARr
Mail,,"...,.,.405 am. lMail...........3;l0a. am.
apprehension pm. Express. 600 I'm.
CAIRO Il YINCRNNES r.. r.
hail'.."...,.. 1900 pm. Mail....,.....iija an.
CAIRO 4 ST, LOUIS r. Il.
Express ...... $50 pm. Express. s:4s a. m
Accom- dalton l0aj pm. Accom- dation lees p m
CHICAGO. ST. LOUIS AND NEW ORLEANS II. Il
haii,."......., 5;0p.m. Mall....,.....50oa am.
c. 4, at. RAILROAD
Texas express. $50 am. Texas express 9:i5p.m.
Ac~~qHioGatn $50 am.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1879-05-25
To INVENTORS AND MECHANICS.

M , nalTS and how 10 obtain them. pamplet OF
!" Phgrs lrcc' upon receipt of Stamps for postage
"u"rcss GILMORE, SMITH h CO.,
solicitors Of Patents. Box 81,
Washiugton,D G..
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1879-05-25
OFFICIAL DIRECTORY.
City Officers.

City Officers.
AayOr-N. b. Thistlewood.
Treasurer-Edward Dezouia
Clcrk-Dennis j, Foley.
CoGuselOr--Wm. B. Gilbert
Marhal--C, d. Artcr
AttOpey-William Hendricks.
Police Magistrate--J. j. Bird
BOARD or ALDERMEN.
First Ward-Wm. O'CAllahnu. NJ. J. HOwley.
Second Ward-DaNd T. Linesar, {. T. Wood
ysrd.
Third Ward-W P. Wright, Egbert Smith
Fourth Ward-Chares o. Patier James kyuaston
f!nh Ward-T W. Halliday, Ernest B. Petit.
County Officers.
Circnit Judgc-O. A. Harkcr
Circuit Clerk. A. Reeves.
County Judgr-k : Yocum.
COupty Clerks. J. Humm.
County Attorpsy-W c. Malkey.
County Treasurer-A. }. Aidc..
Shelid-Iohu Hodges
COrOner-R FitzgeraiC.
=. County Commi,sionets-T ". Halliday, N. V
Brown. samuel Brlley.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1879-05-25
NEW ADVERTISEMENT
SOLDIERS.

Are informed that MILO u. STEVENS ~ CO,
WAR CLAIM ATTORNEYS. of Cleveland. .. have
the business of Soldiers and soldiers heirs In the
west. All applications for Pensions must be pre-
scnted before July A. 1890, or back pension viii not
t 90 allowed Address, with stamp, MILO y.
STEVENS d Co., Chicago H.,
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1879-05-25

"HAcKMErAcK" popular and fragrant
perfume. Sold by Barclay Brothers.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-10-10

in moment returned, holding pistol
in his hand. He examined the lock, ap-
preached the bed, stopped down and
with his left hand seized one of the two
feet, the finger of his right hand resting
on the trigger of his pistol.
Resist and you are dead manp' ex-
claimed he firmly.
The owner of the feet did not seem dis
posed to risk the event. He suffered
himself to be dragged by the foot into
the middle of the room, where he
crouched before the pistol pointing at his
head.
On being searched dagger was found,
newly sharpened. He confessed that the
servant was his accomplice, and had told
him of the booty which awaited him.
Nothing remained but to deliver both
to justice. Madame Aubrey, indeed
begged her husband to let them escape,
but the public interest demanded the
sacrifice of private lenity, and they were
delivered up. During all the time the
unconscious child slept soundly. After
some little time Madame Aubrey related
the events of the evening.
ST did not think you had been so
brave" said her husband, embracing her.
But in spite of her bravery the events
of that evening brought on nervous
fever, from which our little heroine did
| not recover
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-10-10
MY DOG, "HERO."
MAY N. HAWLEY.

Deadi And you bid me not to mourn
For the faithfulest heart that ever beat!
Only a dog-let the days pass on
There are dogs to be had since he Is gone,
And newer friends are sweet.
oh. but the brave, brown eyes are shut,
And the silkep coat of black is rough,
And the smooth, soft head that sought my
with q quick obedience to command
Is silent and still enough.
Truer friend no one ever had,
Ponder, more faithful, guardsnt, or wise
Hero, my dog with proud head and whise
breast,
Following lar on my ste PSI unrest
With fond, unqueetionine eyes.
Dead! by an epemy's cruel hand
Slain for defending the one he loved.
o, faithfulest friend his life was more
Than the human life which triumphed o'er
His dumb strength, bravely proved.
Nay, hush! These are heartfelt tears she'd
There is never a dog can take his place.
have no room for less worthy friends,
And only the years can make amends
For the loss of his constant grace.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-10-10

THE SCANDALS OF ONE TITLED FAM
ILY.-The Earl of Fife, whose death is
noticed by the latest London papers,
owned 252, 900 acres, with rental of
E72, 600 a year, in Scotland. His family
had been remarkable for it's preeminence
in the scandalous chronicles of the day.
One of his daughters is the Marchioness
Townshend, who some three years ago
e1oped to Paris with an uncle of Lord
Baths, old enough to be her father.
They were pursued by her brother, the
present Lord Fife, to Paris, and Lord
Townshend condoned the irregularity
Her sister, Lady Ida, married Adrian
Hope, of the famous Anglo-Amsterdam
family, but firing of him, took up with
an Austrian attache, and was divorced
Then the youngest daughter married
Lord Dupplin, eldest son of the Earl Of
Kinnoali, but before two years were ovel
she, too, found that she liked some one
else better, and was consequently
divorced for adultery with Herber
Flower, whom she has since married.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-10-10

EXPERT CRITICISM are fond OF
noyel-reading, said Aurelieu Schol the
other day, as he saw the coachman he
had just engaged stow away formida-
BILE volume of romance beneath the seat.
eyes, sir; have read great many nov
els, and am Disguised to observe the
uniform ignorance of their authors as to
the commonest affairs of everyday life.
For instance, here is one story in which
read: The Prince appeared agitated
on hearing these words, and hailing a
carriage flung himself into it, cast his
purse to the driver and cried, "Drive me
to the Fauburg st. Honore ~ Then q
few lines further on see this: Valen-
tine resolved once for all to solve the
mystery, and hurrying to the stand
sprang into the first vehicle that pre-
sented itself, and finging her pocket
book to the coachman said, Follow yon
carriage. ," Now, sir, have been driv-
ing hack in Paris for forty years, and
I've driven thousands of people-all sorts
of people under every imaginable con-
dition, eloping lovers, jealous wives,
levanting cashiers, and SO on-and, SO
help me, st. Flacre! never in the course
of my long professional career has fare
thrown me his or her purse or pocket
book No, sir; they have just given me
thirty-fv sometimes it was the
round two francs, but very rarely.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-10-10

How TO BRoIL FRESH SALMoN.-Have
your fish dealer cut slices about an inch
thick. Dry the slices in napkin; salt
and pepper slightly; put on gridiron,
which make pretty hot; have a clear,
bright fire; turn the fish quickly over
from side to side; if you know what you
are about your fish will not burn; the
slice of fish ought to have the score
marks where the metal of the gridiron
touches, but ought to be pink in other
parts; serve with a very little warm but
ter; little lemon juice will improve
boiled salmon.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-10-10

George: ''Tom, would you like to
travel ?' Tom: II would, by Jupiterr'
George: Then you'd go at jolly
rate. Tom: How 2" George: ssWell,
if you went by Jupiter, her guaranteed
speed is twenty mine thousand miles an
hour
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-10-10
The Writing Telegraph.

Cowper's writing telegraph has been
placed on the London and Southwestern
Railway, and it works most successfully,
says the Engineer, from Woking to
Waterloo, a distance of 26H miles, writ
ing off the messages in ink, one after
the other, in a perfectly legible manner,
whether regular line messages OF mes
sages made up in order to give the in
strument more work to do. On some
days more resistance coils of wire have
been introduced into the two line wires,
in order to represent greater distances,
and thus 621s miles and 92H miles have
been worked through in most satisfac-
tory manner, and it only being necessary
in such cases to add a few more cells to
the battery, which in no case was as pow
erful as is very often used on the same
line. The effect of the currents through
the multiplicity of other line wires, In
close proximity to the two in use for the
| writing telegraph, was closely observed,
and the effect of induction was so ex-
ceedingly small as only to produce occa
sionally slight roughness in straight
line when the operators pencil was quite
stationary, but such effect was hardly
ever perceptible in the writing itself,
and never to affect it's legibility. The
fact of this instrument requiring no
| clerk to receive the message, translate it,
and write it down, seems to be much ap-
preciated, as half dozen such instru-
ments may be telegraphing their = ards OF
messages into one Office, without the
| least assistance from the clerk, who may,
from time to time, cut off and send out
| the ready written messages; so that not
only is the time of calling" as with or
binary Instruments saved, but the time
of waiting till the clerk can attend at the
| other end of the line to receive signals
| which very often amounts to amuch long
| er than is required for the whole mes
sage to be transmitted, especially in of
| fees fitted with many instruments
| There is also great advantage
in having an absolute record o.
what has been sent by the writing tele
/ graph at the transmitting station. An
other very important feature is the facil
ity with which all that is necessary tt
learn to use the instrument may be found
out in five minutes. Every operation il
exceedingly simple, and there are prac
tically no fine adjustments anywhere
Variation in the power of the battery il
of no importance, as it's effect may bt
overcome by simply pushing the levers
carrying the springs against which the
needles pull little further in or out, al
may be necessary. The pen, which is {
very small glass capillary siphon tube
| is, though of glass, very strong-it may
fall several feet on to bare floor withou
breaking, and is very easily adjusted.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-10-10

A man was found dead at Viewpoint.
Ind, with bullet in his head. A hint
at the manner of his death was given by
the evidence of an interrupted game Of
poker In his hand were four kings.
while four queens lay near by, having
probably been dropped by his exasperated
antagonist and murderer.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-10-10

A subscriber to southwestern news
paper died recently, leaving four years
subscription unpaid. The editor APP
peared at the grave and deposited in the
coffin a palm-leaf fan, linen coat and a
thermometer,
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-10-10

Remember who you are talking to,
sir" said an indignant parent to face
ious boy; i am your father ssWell,
who's to blame for that?" said the young
impertinence, sstaint me.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-10-10

An Irishman, some time ago, was be-
ing examined as witness in some street
quarrel in Bishop Auckland, when a
sharp attorney, trying to brow-beat the
Hibernian concerning which side of
Newgate street he was on, asked: (which
side of the flags were you on 2" aBedad.
your honor" replied Pat, ssthere's only
two sides to flag, an was on the TOP
side"
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-10-10

EDUCATING HoRsEs.-Horses can be ed
ucated to the exteut of their understand
ing as well as children, and can be easily
damaged or ruined by bad management.
1t is believed that the great difference
found in horses as to habits of reliability
comes more from the different manage
ment of men than from the variance OF
natural disposition in the animals. Horses
with mettle are more easily educated than
those of less or dull spirits, and are more
susceptible to ill-training, and consequent
ly may be as good or bad, according to
the education they receive. Horses with
dull spirits are not by any means proof
against bad management, for in them may
often be found the most provoking OBJ
stinacy, vicious habits of different char
acter that render them almost entirely
worthless. Could the coming generation
of horses in this country be kept from
their days of colthood to the age of five
years in the hands of good, careful man
ayers there would be seen vast difference
in the general character of the noble
animals.
If q colt is never allowed to get an ad-
vantage it will never know that it pos
sesses power that man cannot control,
and if made familiar with strange OBJECTS
it will not be skittish and nervous. If a
horse is made accustomed from its early
days to have objects hit on his heels, back
and hips, he will pay no attention to the
giving out of harness or of a wagon rum
ming against him at an unexpected mo-
ment. A gun can be fred from the back
of a horse, an umbrella held over his
head, buffalo robe thrown over his neck,
railroad engine pass close by, his heels
bumped with sticks, and the animal take
it all as natural condition of things, if
only taught bv careful management that
he will net be injured thereby. There is
great need of improvement in the man
agement of this noble animal; less beating
and more of education.-Ie Door and Out
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-10-10

At the funeral OF the late Queen of
Madagascar, the body was swathed in
500 silk lambas, in the folds of which 20
gold watches, 100 gold chains, rings,
brooches, bracelets and other jewelry, to-
That deposit Of the remains of royalty will
make a splendid prospecting for some fu-
ture miner.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-10-10

SALT FOR PoULTRY.-The question as
to whether salt is injurious to poultry
has often been mooted. To get at the
true facts, I have been feeding salt to all
my poultry, young and old alike, and
closely watching the result. I have fed
it in cold mash and in hot; in bran and
in everything else, all the spring and
summer ESQ far) with the following re-
suit: The poultry will eat all kinds of
salted food in preference to unsalted
they are better in general health; not a
louise of any kind in young or old, (the
first year had not been able to say SOY
and they are all beginning to moult,
many of them laying as though not
moulting. Eggs are cheap now, and the
hens will be ready for laying when the
weather is cold and eggs scarce. This
may or may not be the result of feeding
salt largely to them, but am compelled
to believe this to be so, as are some other
peculiarities. have noticed one feature
which may not be in favor of salt-the
hens have seemed to be more persistently
inclined to sit, it being very difficult to
break off the inclination; they sit closer
than usual. All seem voraciously fond
of green food of any kind, and have
eaten large quantity of clover, grass,
young corn, and other similar food. NY
observations lead me to the conclusion
that salt is a needed condiment for all
our poultry, and in all points is beneficial
to them.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-10-10

eff there's no moonlight, will you
meet me by gaslight, dearest Juliana ?"
"No, Augustus, I won't" replied she;
s'I'm no gas meter"
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-10-10
z. H. BuRNHAM,
HOUSE PAINTING,
esAlN,NG AND PAPER HANGING.

AL WORK IN MY LINE PROMPTLY
"A attended to on reasonable terms. Paper
hanging q specially. Orders may be left at
Graham, Hamilton and Co.'s drug store, or I. s
McFadden's carpenter shop.
Corvallis, April Z, 1879. lsf