Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-11-06

| my father USED TO say, eXclalueh
Hasper Frash, "that you never could
tell what a woman was, or what she
was going to be, until you got mar
ried to her; and then it was too late .
II know better than that i said
Samuel Simboy, emphatically. "Any
|iudgable man, who has an observing
eye, can tell what a woman is, as
quick as a wink. | can!
EYES," coincided his friend, Joe
Litters; "let Sam Simboy alone for
judy ging ofa woman. He has got an
observing eye, and no mista ke.'..
"A man with an observing eye,
continued Simboy, proudly. "must
fust be cautious how he gifts into
vomen's society; and then he's got to
feel his way, pooty sharp, and keep
his eye open all the time. If his in
tentions ia marriage, he must git into
the good graces of her female ac-
quaintances, in the fust place-keep'
ing his eye on them, too, by gracious!
and he must court slow and sure, and
put the worst side out. 1t wont be
long-if he keeps his eye open -sfore
he II smell mice. somewhere, if she
an t all she oughter be. Birds of a
feather Aocks altogether as the BIZ
bic says and if some of her partickler
| friends don't tell all that can be
known about her, and little more,
for him to choose and make up mis-
mind out of, afore he gifts gary a-court.
ing, I'm a horse. Court slow, and
keep your eye open; and you II git a
three number ticket sure, If marriage
is lottery.
Emanual Bantam groaned, for he
didn't think so. He had courted for
two years, and had got only a one
number ticket; and she was number
Ia d he was 0.
"I.don't believe in marrying at all :,
boys" said George Bolger, the land
lord-answering an order from Ban
tam for "apple-toddles all round.
when you are single, you can stay
out as late as you please-drink what
you please; when you please, and
where you please; and, if YOU ct over.
came with lickey, there's fresh,
clean bel at the tavern-and no wife
to scold you out in the morning. scan.
dalize you all day, ard cry you in at
night"
"But if man don't drink, what s
he going to do?' asked Sam Smtoy,
who began to have the headache, and
think of his sweetheart, Perulla Some
body. He must have something t1
\ love-"
"You are right, Samuel" said the
deacon. what does st. Paul say?-
!. at is better to marry than to burn.
And the deacon nose burned as he
SAID So.
"All the married folks ever seer
, wanted to be free agin," persisted
Simeon Pigsince.
, "How can some folks marry sever
:, or eight times, then?" said Deaool
Dadwink.
} because they was disapp'inte'
every time," replied Harper Frash
s cor, praps, they was fools, and didu
know what real love was, and wa
; contented with most anything
: "Nobody can love but once, insist
ed Pigsince.
9 1--WE ought to be good enough tt
: love everybody, and every thing,
said the deacon, finishing his fourth
8 toddy. 1.-The sperrits say so"
"What do you think of sper-Hul
! 20. Here comes Tom Porriuger!" sail
the landlord, to tall, lank but jolly
faced new. conner, who entered, GOV
, cred with snow, and was generally
welcomed.
Mr.. Tom Porringer was well-to
do bachelor, of about fifty, who was il
the habit of unbending himself at th'
Green Trough, and enivening its fire
quenters with anecdotes upon almos
any topic under debate.
tom Porringer-bless your ole
soul!-sit down-take drink, and
tell us what your ideas are of love