The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-01-09
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
IDLE people are never contented
BUTTER exports are increasing daily.
ONLY one man in thirty in Idaho has
a wife.
Only eleven ships were built in Maine
this year. ,
SLACK times, as the chunk of lime
said to the water.
CANNED peas with an attractive green
hue should be avoided. e't 5 =
MORE than three-fourths of the MEM
bers of Congress are lawyers.
The man-that-wasn't- ARCHAEOLOGICAL
low-fever is back.-NeO Orleans Times.
WHO did Lemon Yonkers Ga
zette. The man who was punched, of
course.
"How DID it hairpin?" the young
lady remarked when her "back hair'
came down.
If your girl turns up her nose at an
invitation to take sleigh ride, don't
cutter.-N. y Star.
BOATS expecting to go up Red River
now should carry water with them.-
Neso Orleans Picayune.
To KEEP apples from rotting, put
them in cool place-where there is a
large family of children.
MASSACHUSETTS officials have OBJ
served that inconsistencies is frequent
cause of insanity among immigrants.
A PRAGUE chemist has invented a
mirror which reveals the contents of
wine casks without removing the heads.
AN English paper says that Ameri-
can-made lamps are more elegantly de-
signed and better finished than their
own.
ONE great drawback in duel is the
fact that you only kill one enemy to
make dozen new ones.-Detrott Free
Press.
The Michigan tramp carries brick.
and he gets into houses on the excuse
that he wants to heat it.-Detrot Free
Press.
TRUTH is stranger than fiction. A
man may know that he is liar, and
yet he'll feel decidedly strange when he
is called one.
QUESTION for a debating society: If
man has a tiger by the tail, which
would be the best for his safety-to
hold on or to let goP''
The value of the new buildings put
up in New York City within the last
ten years is 1927 ,OO0, 900, an average of
nearly $50. 100000 year.
SOME one says :aat nothing is healthy
that is fried. This is probably SO.
Even Friday is unheaithy-for con-
victed NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Herald.
THE heretofore-regarded worthless
sage barrens of Nevada are found to be
excellent pasturage for Cashmere goats.
A single herder near Carson has a flock
of 5000.
1.-THE Sioux are not contagious"
said an old frontiersman. What do
you mean?" asked bystander. 81
mean that they are hard to CATCH" was
the reply.
Ira bank officer would look at
burglar with bag of tools as severely
as he does at an honest man with a
small check, many robberies might he
prevented.
Coal dealers prefer Newfoundland
dogs to any other breed. They weigh
more, and they sit quietly on the cart
while the load is on the scales.-Boston
Sunday Times.
BOUGHT a carriage for yourselfP
You extravagant wretchr' ''Well, now,
look here-I had to. See those boots?
Observe the holes. / couldn't walk in
those things, could I?''
IT IS terribly exasperating to really
good, pious man to sit down suddenly
on an icy sidewalk and see the wicked
safely ''stand in slippery places. y
Bingha,hpton Republican,.
THIRTY years ago the profession of
mining engineer was almost unknown
in the United States: to-day the Amer1-
can Institute of Mining Engineers
number over seven hundred members.
"THERE's a great difference between
housekeeping and boarding out" said
Mr.. Younghusband; So for when / board
ed out had to wait sometimes half an
hour for my dinner, but now have it
just when can get it."
SOME men never know how to treat
their wives. On Monday night
Schenectady lady wanted to go to a
masque ball with some gentlemen
friends. and her husband objected. So
she cut her throat.-Iroy Press.
An old man is still cutting wood in
the swamps near New Orleans in virtue
of permit granted him by Gen. But
ler, and even sells the right of cutting
wood to others under this order, which,
he claims, has never been revoked
The Methodist population of the
world is estimated at 10000, 900. and
the number of communicates at 4, 489,-
877. In the United States the member
ship is about 1896, ,999, with 26,642
local and %, 1914 itinerant preachers.
vurrr>, = r.. hor ho,,I bo;r
into two ropes, holds one in her mouth
until she winds the other upon her
back comb, and then finds that she has
lost her last hair-pin, she feels that the
sex needs two mouths-one to hold the
hair in and the other to make remarks
with.
TIE Western highwayman reads in
the telegraph column of his morning
wood that day with $500, 900 in gold
bullion, and as he proceeds to put his
revOlvers in readiness he eXclaims
most fervently, Heaven bless Prof.
Morser
A LONDON newspaper advertises
"Wanted, 2 apprentices who will be
treated as l of the family" When it
was ascertained that the advertiser was
in the habit of coming home and beat
ing his wife, the number of persons
who wanted to be treated as al of the
family was sman.-NorristosOn Herald.
A LITTLE girl visiting neighbor
with her mother was gazing curiously
at the hosts new bonnet, when the
owner queried: s'Do you like it,
Laurap' The innocent replied: "Why,
mother said it was perfect fright. but
If don't acare me's Tanra,s mother
didn't stay long after that Norristos0n
Herald.
"No. YOUR Honor" said an old
offender at the bar of Justice, "don't t
send me back to Sing Sing again. With