The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-07
Our Young People
JADE UP FROM THE BEST CLIPPINGS.
Advice to Young Men.
Get married.

cram your number nine hands into
pair of number seven white kids
and get married.
There's nothing like it.
Why, where would you be now,
you idiot, if your father had lived
an old bachelor all his days?
Will you hang back and let your
children be orphans, because you
refuse to become parent?
Don't waste your time serenading
your girl and getting chased out of
the yard by the faithful watchdog,
but go to her and say:
Amelia, my darling, am the re
cipient of eight dollars per week,
and abundantly able to support a
wife. Wilt thou be miner
If she looks at the matter in the
same light that you do, she will
hang her head gear on the point of
your piccadilly aud say:
"Orlander, wilt"
OF course she wilt.
But there is possibility that you
will be first to wilt after the marri-
age.
No matter, bristle up, take unto
yourself a wife, and have some style
about you.
A man never knows what do
rnestic bliss is till he has been kicked
out of bed once or twice by an en-
ergetic wife who takes an honest
pride in letting him know that she
is proprietor Of that particular por
tion of the globe.
Almost everybody gets married,
and it is good joke.
But the joke soon wears out.
Some marry in haste and then sit
down and think it carefully over.
Some think it carefully over first,
and then sit down and marry.
Both ways are right il you hit the
mark.
If you are of an independent spir-
it and accustomed to have your
own way, marriage will cure you of
that also
Perhaps you will find it hard at
first to realize that you are actually
a married man.
But the first time you stay out
until midnight the reality of the
thing will be forced upon you so
abruptly that you will feel as if you
had been knocked down with a foot
stool.
And maybe you have-I don't
know.
Women are economical beings,
and will make your money go farther
than you can.
They will make it go so far in fact
that none of it will ever find its
way back.
A wife's instinct of economy ena-
bles her to buy her husband a whole
suit of clothes for fifteen dollars,
and herself saque for thirty.
Perhaps you have been in the
habit of paying from seventy-flve
cents to dollar for a single under
shirt.
Your wife will buy you one for
twenty five cents.
To be sure the twenty five cent
shirt, when washed, looks like set
of fiddle strings, but it shouldn't be
washed.
You don't want to be clean.
Thus you see you cannot possibly |
get along without a wife.
The sooner you get one the soon
er you will be admitted to the para
disc of conjugal felicity, and learn
to hold squalling baby, while your
wife hangs over the back fence and |
tells Mrs. Smith what handy hus-
band she's got.
When your clothes get ragged,
your wife will repair them-maybe
if her time is not too much taken
up with other things.
If she doesn't, you have the con-
ISOLATION of pins.
Before you were married you
never could find a pin when you
it; now they are everywhere
all over the dressing table, in the
hash, on the floor, and sometimes
you make che painful discovery
that they are even on the chairs.
A pin is an Insignificant affair in
Itself, but when you sit down on its
point you feel as if telegraph pole
had penetrated your existence.
Married men make the best SOL
Tiers.
Not because they are the best
lighters, perhaps, but because they
ian do a better job of retreating.
They learn to dodge flying mis-
lies with great nicely, and practice
his sport so much at home that
hey can get out of the way of any
hing, from gridiron to a bomb
hell.
Napoleon Bonaparte was a mar
led man, and l have no doubt he
7ould dive under the bed as quick
s any other man when his wife
ritted her teeth and made a grab
Or an argument that could be
brown clear across the room.
Young man, get married.
Don't hesitate.
Winter is coming on, and you
ill need some one to get up in the 4
corning and make the fires, while ]
on take your morning nap.
A wife is what you want.
She will make herself useful in T.
lrlety of ways-sweeping, scrub L
ng and keeping the house in or
will undoubtedly be as