, 1879-06-07
TIE LIGHTNING RoD DISPENSER,


TO say,
OF lightning rod dispenser that dropped down
on me one day,
With poem in his motions, with sermon in
his n,ien,
With hands as white Is lilies, and face un-
common clean,
No wrinkle had his vestments, and his linen
glistened white,
And his new constructed neck tie was an inter-
esting sight;
Which almost wish his razor had made red
that white skinned throat,
And the new-constructed neck tie had COM
posed hangman's knot,
Ere he brought his sleek-trimmed carcass for
my woInen-folks to see,
And his rip-saw tongue q buzzin' for to gouge
agash in me.
And couldn't help but like him-as always
think must,
The gold of my own doctrines in a fellow heap
of dust,
When fred my own opinions ut this person
round by round,
They drew an. answering rolley, of very
Gmilar snnnd
1 touched him on religion, and the hopes my
heart had known;
He said he'd had experiences quite similar of
his own,
1 told him of the doubtins that made dark my
early years;
He had laid awake till morning, with that same
old breed of fears.
I told him of the rough path hoped to heaven
togo;
He was on that very ladder, only just round
below.
told him of my visions Of the sinfulness of
gain:
He had seen the selfsame picters, though not
quite SO clear and plain,
Our politics was different, and at first he CALLED
and WINGED;
But arg'ed him SO able, he was very soon
convinced.
And twas getting toward the middle of a hun
cry summer day;
There was dinner on the table, and asked
would he stay?
And he sat him down among US, everlasting
trim anu neat,
And asked short, crisp blessing, almost good
enough to eat;
Then he fired up on the mercies Of our Great
Eternal Friend.
And gave the Lord Almighty good first class
recommend;
And for full an hour we listened to the sugar
coated scamp,
Talking like blessed angel-eating like a
blasted tramp.
My wife, she liked the stranger, smiling on him
warm and sweet;
lit always fatters women when their guests are
on the eat.
And he hinted that some ladies never lose their
early charms,
And kissed her latest baby, and received it in
his arms.
Ny sons and daughters liked him, for he had
progressive views,
And chewed the quid of fancy, and gave down
the latest news,
And / couldn't help but like him: as l fear
always must.
The gold of my own doctrines, in fellow-heap
He was spreading desolation through piece Of
apple pie
When he paused, and looked upon US with 4
tear in his off eye,
And said, 80, happy family your blessings
make Rle sad
You call to mind the dear ones that in happier
days had;
\ wife as sweet as this one; a babe as bright
ard fair:
4 little girl s-ith rinylets, like that one over
there.
I worshipped them too blin,'Iy ,-ry eyes with
love Were DIM
God took them to His own heart, and now |
worship Him
But had not neglected the means WITHIN my
way,
Then they might still be living, and loving me
to-day.
"One night there came tempest; the thunder
peais were dire;
The clouds that tramped above us were shoot
ing bolts of fire:
In my own house, ], lying, was thinking, to
my blame,
How little had guarded against those shafts
ef flame,
When, crash through roof and ceiling the
deadly lightning cleft,
And killed my wife and children, and only
was left.
Since that dread time I've wandered, and
nought for life have cared,
Saveto save Others loved ones, whose lives have
Vet been spared;
Since then it is my mission, where'er by sorrow
tossed.
Tc sell to virtuous people, good lightning rods
at cost.
With sure and strong protection I'll clothe
your buildings DER.
Twill cost you fifty dollars (Perhaps trif,e
more;)
What little else it comes to, at lowest price LII
put,
(You signing this agreement to pay so much
per foot.'0
1 signed it, while my family all approving stoed
about;
And dropped a tear upon it-(but it didn't
bot it out y
That very day with wagons came some men,
both great and small
They climbed upoA my buildings just as If
they owned 'em all;
They hacked 'em, and they hewed EN-, much
against my loud desires;
They trimmed 'em up with gewgaws, and they
bound EN- down with wires
They trimmed 'em and they wired em, and
they trimmed an wired 'em still,
And every precious minute kept a-runnang up
the bill
Nv soft-spoke geest s-seeking, did I rave and
He was supping with a neighbor, Just a three
mile further on.
.Do Won think" l 6ercely shouted, that 1
want a mile o wire
To save each separate hay cock out o heavens s
consumin' fire?
Do YOU think 10 keep my buildin's safe from
some uncertain harm,
I'm goin' to deed you over all the balance OF
NV farEy
He looked up quite astonished, with face de-
void Of guile,
And he pointed to the contract, with reas-
suring smile;
Il Was the first occasion that he disagreed
with me;
But he heh me 10 that paper. with hrmness
sad to sees
And for that thrnder-story, ere the rascal final
ly went,
7 Maid two hundred dollars paid single
cent
And if any lghtnin roddsr wants diraes-
dialogue
With the restaurant department Of an enter
prising dog,
lot him set his mill a-runnin just inside my
outside gate, :.
And III bet two hundred dollars that he won't
h~v long tn wait.