The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1879-02-21
SAM SNYDER.
Max AdeIer RelsIes Some MaryeIoHz
Facts 5u His Career.

Max AdeIer RelaIes Some MaryeIonz
Facts in His Career.
We were all sitting on the piazza in
front OF Biyler's store, and Abner Byng
was there, with his legs cooked up against
a post and his chair tilted back. DIR.
Murray was running his eye down a
column of the country paper, when he
suddenly said;
Helloa This is queerl Why, it says
that an English chemist has succeeded in
distilling whisky from saw-dust."
That's nothing" said Abner Byng
Tipping his thumb.
How do you mean, nothing ?" a. ked
the doctor.
"Oh, it's old, awful old. knew that
years ago. Did you ever meet Sam
Snyder ?"
No, never met him"
dwell, Sam was a hard drinker-must
have rum by one means or another. He
had no money and nobody to trust him
or treat him. So Sam somehow ascer
tanned that whisky could be made out
sawdust, and do you know what he'd
do2"
- Whist p"
Hold get so drunk of q fence-rail
and cross-cLt saw that ne couldn't tell
q COW from a sugar cured ham. Put
him near to a wood pile and 3 saw buck,
and let him alone, and before IL O'Clock
he'd turn out the most delicious mint
juleps you ever tasted"
Easily done, Was it?
Essily2 Why, one time his family
tried to keep him sober by putting him
out on the roof and keeping hin there /;
and do yon know what Sam did? Got
= boy to tie a wash butler IA four seet
iead pipe 10 string, a. Sam fis;EIe,.
'em up, and in three days he had turned
every shingie into cocktails, and he fell
through hole in the garret in such
frightful condition OF intoxication that
they had to give him electric shocks from
forty-two cell battery to bring him
back to consciousness"
''You know this to be fact, do
you?"
Certainly; was there. Why, that
man acquired preference for liquor
made from wood, and three times, to
my certain knowledge, he got mania
potu from consumption OF distilled pine
boards and potato-mashers, he drank up
four sets of chair legs; and, on Fourth
of July, when his wife stopped his de-
struction of the furniture, he celebrated
the day by calling in three or four friends
to drink a new kind OF energetic brandy
that he'd just made out OF window>sill
and clothes-prop. Drink! Why, sir,
pledge you my word, Snyder in single
winter drank up a smoke-house, three
wash-tubs, and a front-door. Nothing
could stop him when he got going"
Why did he prefer domestic uten-
sils ?"
"He didn't. There WAS woods out
back of his house that belonged to his
aunt. Sand go out there with meat
saw, or any kind of saw he could get,
and in two years he had stimulated his
system with eight chestnut trees, four
persimmons, Que oak, fifteen saplings of
various kinds Trimmed that grove out
80 that his aunt couldn't rent it to picnic
parties. Nearly broke the old lady's
heart, TOO
"Did he kill himself drinking ?"
Well, not exactly. I'll tell you how
it was. 1t seems that he was haunted
for a long time with the idea that if he
could distill the Presbyterian church
steeple he could turn out an article
that'd bear a resemblance, somehow, to
old apple brandy. Queer, wasn't it?
But the man was not exactly right ; his
mind was diseased. So one night he got
on the roof OF the church with a ladder
TO steal the steeple. When he got there
--dunno how it was, but the idea seemed
to strike him to taste the thing, maybe
to see if he was right about the flavor,
and--he must have been wild when he
did 1.-THE actually swallowed the
weather-cock, and there he stuck, whirl
ing around all night as the wind struck
him Dead9 He was deader'n Martin
Van Buren, when they come to take him
down."
"He swallowed the weather cock, did
he ?"
Yes, sir, swallowed it."
Well, that wasn't half as hard to
swallow as your whole yarn" said Blyler
You don't doubt my veracity,
hope ?' said Abner. g You do well, il
you have quarter about you it will
soothe my wounded feelings. l only
want a."
just at this juncture Biyler kicked
Mrs. Byng off the porch, and Abner
walked away to the next tavern with
faint hope that the bartender would give
his credit one more chance.
Statisticians affirm that countries
raising the most onions have the iewest
marriages.