The Newtown bee., 1879-09-03
The Lightning-iod Dispenser.
BY WILL CARLETON.

W.h hads white as ill es and fac uncornrno1
 c'ean. No wrinEir had his yestmcntS, and n'a linen glis-
 teuel white. And his new cons rucled nc>ll-,ie wss an interest
 ing sight Which I almost wish his razor had male red that
 W ie-shnned throat, And the rew-constructcd necklie had composed 4
 hangman's knot, Ere he brought his slccli-trimm carcass for my
 women folks to sec. And his rip-saw tongue buzzin' for to gnuGe :;
 gash in ma But I couldn't help but ike lim-as always think
 must. The gold of my own doctrines in foliow-hcap ot
 dust. When l fired my own or inions at this person
 round by round, They Grew an answering voIlcy, of very simtlag
 sonnd I touched him on religion, md the hopes my hear:
 had known; He said he'd had experiences quite similar of his
 own. I told him of the doubtin's that made da,k r1y
 early years; He had laid awake till morning with that same oli
 breed 0: fears. I told him of inc rongh pa:l hoTed to heaven tc He was on that very ladder, only just louad be
 low. told him of my visions of the sinfuness of gain de had seen the self l'ctcrs, though not quts
 so clear an1 plain Our politics was different and at first he galled and
 winced But l ars'cd him so able, h was very soon con
 YinccG. And twas getting toward the middle of hungry
 summer day; There was dinner on the table, and I asked him
 would he stay? And he sat down among us, everlasting trim and
 at. And asked q short crisp blessing, almost good
 enough to eat; Then he fired upon the Inercies of our Great E.or
 nal Friend, And gave the God Almighty good, frst-class re
 commend And for full an hour we listened to the sugar
 coated scamp. Talking like a blessed angel-eating like s-blaatet
 tramp.
 
 and sweet. Ut always flatters women, when their guests ar,
 on the oatl, And he hinted that some ladies never lose thcil
 early charms And kissed her latest baby. and received it in hi
 arms. My aud daughters liked him. for he had pr:
 eressivc views. And chewed the quid of fancy, and gave down tn
 latest news And I couldn't help but like him, as I fear alway
 must, The gold Of my own doctrines, in fellow heap O
 dus-. He was spreading dosolation through piece of ap
 pie pie. When he paused, and looked upon us with tea
 ill his off eye, And said. 70, happy family !-your blessings mak
 me sad You call to mind tie dear that in happier day
 had wife as sweet this ono {; babe as bright an' little girl with ringle,s. like that over there worsAippod them so blindiy my eyes with loy,
 were dim Goo. took them to His own heart, and now wor
 ship Him; But had l not neglected the means within my way Then they might stin be living and 1ovmg me to
 day, One night there came tempest, the thunder peal
 were dire; The clouds that tramped above us were shooting
 bolts of fire In my own house, I, lying. was thinking to m!
 blame, How little I had guarded against those shafts O
 flame, When. crash -through roof and ceiling medically
 lightning cleft -. .--.. And killed my wife and children. and only wa'
 let. Since that dread time I've wandered. and naught
 for life have cared .a .-. Save to save others loved ones. whose lives have
 yet been spared;' ..... ..... Since then 1t Is my mission, whereer by sorrow
 tossed. .-.. To sell to virtuous people good lightning rods-at
 cost. With sure and strong protection I'll clothe youl
 building OCT. r-s. Twill cost sou fifty dollars tpe haps trife morel What little else it to a 10 rest prices I'll put (You signing this agreement to pay much pel foot.J I signed it, while my family all approving stood
 about; And dropped tear upon it-(but didn't blot il
 out ! That very day with wagons came some men botl
 great and small; They climbed upon my buildings just as if they
 owned aem all They hacked 'em, and they hewed cm, much agains
 my loud desires They trimmed em up with gewgaws, and the!
 bonnd CT. down with wires They trimmed eln and they wired 'em, and the,
 trimmed and wired em still. And every precious minute kept a-runnins up tn
 bill. Ny softspoke guest a-seeking. did I rave and rusl
 and run: Ha was supping with neighbor. just three mill
 further on. Do you think,'' iercely shouted, {" that wan
 a mile of wire To save each separate hay-cock ont O heavens con
 suming fire? Do you. think to keep my buildins safe from som
 uncertain harm, I'm goin to deed you over all the balance of m,
 farm!'' He looked up quite astonished, with face devoi,
 of guile, And he polluted to the contract with reassurin
 smil J,a