The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1879-03-21
NUMBER 12.

Mr.. BLIFKIN's FIRST BABY.-That
first baby was great institution. As soon
ns he came into this breathing world" rs
the late w. Shakespeare has it, he took
command in our house. Everything was
subservient to him. He regulated the
temperature, he regulated the servants, he
regulated me. For tho first six months of
that precious babys existence he had me
up, on an average, six times night "Mr
Bhtkin's, said my wife, "bring light, do;
the baby looks strangely I'm afraid it Will
have ft." OF course the lamp was brought,
and of course the baby lay sucking his first,
like little white bear as he was. "Mr.
Bffkins, says my wife, II think feel
draft OF air i wish Jou uonld get Np and
see if the window is not open little,
because baby might get SICK" Nothing
was the matter with the window, rs knew
verw we'll. "Mr. Blifkins," said my wife,
just as l was going to sleep again, "tho
lamp, as you have placed it, shines directly
in baby's eyes-strange that you have no
more consideration" 1 arranged the light
and went to bed again. Just as I was drop.
ping to sleep-"Mr. Blifkins," said my
wife, "did yea think to buy that broma, to
day, for the baby p "My DEAR" said I,
twill you do IN, the injustice to believe
that could overlook q matter so essential
to the comfort of that inestimable child ?''
She apologized very handsomely, bat made.
her anxiety the scapegoat. I forgavc hep,
and without saying word to her address
sed myself to sleep. "Mr. Blifkins," said
y shfkn MsEs Up Gs Gs Tbsis bsSy not
so Jest So" said 1, half asleep, thinking
I was Solon Shingle. "Mr Blifkins," said
my wife, "will you get up and hand me.
that warm Cruel from the nursclamp for
baby ?-the child if it wasn't for his
mother l don't know what he would do
How can you sleep so, Mr.. Blifkins ?" II
suspect my dear said /, "that it is be-
cause I'm tired" "Oh, it's very we'll
for you men to talk about being tired"
said my wife, "I don't know what you
would say if you had to toll and drudge
like poor woman with a baby" tried
to soothe her by telling her she had no ps-
tience, and got up for the possct. Having
aided in answering to the baby's require
ments, l stepped into bed again, with the
hope of sleeping ooh, DEAR" said that
inestimable woman, in great apparent IN
guish, show can man, who has arrived
at the honor of live baby of his own, sleep
when he don't know that the dear creature
will live till morning ?" Iremained silent,
and after awhile, deeming that Mrs.
Blifkins had gone to sleep, stretched my
limbs for repose. How long slept don't
know, but was awakened by furious
job in the forehead from some sharp instru-
ment started up, and Mrs. Blifkins was
sitting up in bed, adjusting some portions
of the baby,s dress. She had, in q state of
semi.sompolence, mistaken my head for the,
pillow, which she customarily used for
nocturnal pincushion. protested against
such treatment in somewhat round terms,
pointing to several round perforations in:
my forehead. She told me I should will
lingly bear such trifiing ills for the sake Of
the, baby. I insisted upon it that L didn't
think my duty as parent to the immortal
required the surrender of my forehead as q
pincushlon. This was one of the manv
nights passed in this way. The baby was
what every mans first baby is-an autocrat,.
absolute and unlimited Such was the story
of Blifkins, as he related it to rs the other
day. 1t is little exaggerated picture Of
almost every mans experienoe.-Richn,ond
Planter and Farmer.