The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-04-04
THE LINN sTREET HIGH SCHOOL.

"Dar's gwine to bo u pow'ful sarchin'
'quiry 'naugerated roun' heah," said
Mr.. Copernicus, last Monday morning,
as he pulled off his gloves and raped
on the desk for books. "Pm maxim
some remarks, young uns, an want
yer to bop do flaps o yeahs in perpen-
diculous persishon. Stop dat snickerin' +,
Ben Blackinbox, les'n / put box i'd
five handles long side o dat souse meat
OH de side o yer head. Now, 'cordin
10 all de information which has OBJ
tanned FUN dc preacher and one O dc
dekuns, dar was boy, dat longs to dis
school, dat went TO de chu'ch yistiddy,
and stead Of listning to do preacbin',
IN de offspring Of spectacle parents had
orto do, he 'ployed his time in fxin' a
pin on de bench in front Oh him, no dat
do pint would hol itself up straight,
and wait for dc report oh dc committy.
An Mr.. Morefuss, de preacher say dat
jes as he got in de middle OBJ de first
hymc, fat woman come in In consid-
erabul oh q hurry, an drapped 'erself
on dc pin an he says dat she seemed
TO sorter rise up like steamboat 'splos-
ion had TAX under the bench, an made
sev'ral laudible remarks not 'zactIy in
'cordnnce wild de surroundings an which
'casioned considerable Of an distur.
bancc. Howsumever onder all de cir-
cumstanccs OBJ de affair, de ungodly
words oh do sister was passed ober, an
de Deckin spoke to me dis mawnin
bout il, an lowed as how I'd better
pass a resolution appintin' myself an
inyestigatin' committee, wild power to
sen for pussons an papers, an en-
dcavor, as far US in nay power lay, to
discover de lump o sin dat was de cas-
ion Of all de trouble. De commItty is now
organized, nm de investigatin' will com
mence"
"Bill Bosin, wbar was you yistiddyl"
"Sorl"
"Yes, you"
Il was out ter Cumminsville,
tishin' in de canal, ard never caught
muffin but little mud turkle 'dout any
tail"
"Dat'll dp; yer needn't commence to
git up 'cr wet spell here in harvest
time. Turn dat book right side up an
set down on dat nail keg outer de way
STAN up. Jim Johnsing whar was You
yestiddyf
81 went out to de baseball, and Peep
cd froo de cracks in de fence. / warn't
at de chu'ch tall.
"All right" said Mr. Copernicus, and
he smiled just the least bit. "Whar
was you, Tom Lukens You was at
chu'ch p
No, Stree. 't~an't me put no pin
on 'er seat,fIkin prove by Johnnie
Simson dat me an him went cut to
Mr. Stones orchard an got some apples;
didn't we, Johnnie p
"Yes, We did, an OF Stone like to got
us an' licked us, an We hid from him
ia the gallbefry patch, an staid till
mos night"
"Dat'll do, boys. dat'll do. Here,
joe Johnsing, run dis sprout in dc hot
ashes and kinder temper it, till git of
my coat an prepar' to rectify some Oh
dc morris eb dis heah gang. / kinder
~SSSh Hl WIN lSut bo1s- jca Iuhuo
up dat tale bout de woman an de pin,
nn' found out all bout war you was
yistidd,. Bill WAS out to Cumminns-
willie, fshin' in de canal on de Lords
day, an never catch nuthin' but little
turkle; Jim Johnsing he went to "a
baseball, an Tommy Lukens and
Johnnie Simson was helpin' deysefs to
Mr.. Stones apples, an like to git cotch.
All right, boys, de testimony is all in,
an de verdic's made up. We will now
proceed to pass dc sentence on outraged
law" And in about u minute u sound
like fre-crackers on the Fourth of July
was heard in the temple of knowledge,
and weeping and howling like a
and thunderstorm went
out on the surrounding atmosphere un-
til Aunt Dinah, who lives over the
way, leaned on her scrubbing-brush
and remarked, "Bruddsr Copernicus
'tirely too sevigerous when he gets
started"