The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-06-27
Items.
# absorbing interest-A sponge.

"A real estate conveyance-A mud
cart.
There is no beautiful spring in Niagara.
1t is all fall there.
The consumptives are in favor of a new
constitution.
Going the rounds of the press-The
girl who waltzes.
Men of eye-dears-Loafers who stare at
pretty women.
-"Utah. lizing the female sex" is the new
definition of bigamy.
is schooner of lager so-cslled because
of its sails over a bar?
The best sleigh bells ever invented area
pair of osy-cheeked girls.
There is nothing like shorthand re-
porter to take a man down.
-Buttercup bonnets are the correct head
gear in Washington at present.
Intelligent Canadians are emgrating to
the United States in large numbers.
"A piano is an instrument which tortur-
es many persons for the pleasure of one.
Its good deal better to be live cab
bage head than to be a dead beet.
1t is said that muskrats damage the
Erie Canal $4,000 worth each year.
| The next census of the United States
will foot up over forty eight millions.
| To have as many ribs as possible in the
sunshades of the period is the fashion.
| When the office seeks the man, it does
not find him loating on the street corners.
| William Penn also remarked that 1t
was Just as easy to love a rich girl as poor
| one.
When convicts are released from the
Michigan State Prison they each receive
81 80.
Timely advice by the New York Com
mercial--ln time OF peace prepare for sun
stroke.
Madam" said tramp, "would you
give me an old pair of pants, for I'm starvin'
to death"
A real nice lace parasol, with coral
handle, can be had as low as seventy-hve
dollars.
Authorities say that the fan is no lon
ger to be attached to the waist. but carried
in the hand.
"A grocer advertses in the following terse
manner: "Hams and cigars, smoked and
unsmoked."
Butchers should know something about
chemistry, considering their familiarity
with OK hides.
An Amsterdam paper speaks ofa man
who was fatally injured while attempting to
commit suicide.
A country blacksmith out west put up a
notice "No horses shoddcd Sunday except
, sickness and death -
, An Irish sailor visited a city where, he
1 said, they copper bottomed the tops of the
houses with sheetlead.
, "A Hartford religious enthusiast under.
took to fast forty days, and became q man.
lac at the end of the fifth day.
-Jspananese farms average about one acre
each in size and it doesn't take forever to
hunt up the cows in the pasture.
, There is nothing more likely to estrange
two friends than small debt. l ard u
e may some day be separated by an o.
: In San Francisco hangs the sign of q
d Chinese washer-man which reads thus
e "Washing and Ironing by Wa Shing."
A Chicago barber refused to color the
e moustache of an intoxicated customer be.
It cause he did not want to dye drunkard.
) An ounce Of honey consumed at lunch
9 con costs the bee who manufactured it $50
s miles of travel, and he gets no belt either.
y A glance at the fashionable new hats
d strongly suggests the idea that some of the
e wearers ought to get their heads blocked
"A over.
ID A young lady, when solicited for kiss
r by an inebriated suitor, refused, but couldn't
~ prevent him from pressing her hand. She
- escaped by "tight' squeeze.
: |
\. No man in this blessed country need
!, ever die of hunger. He can always have q
10 10 roll in the morning, if there is only little
IL patch of grass in his neighborhood.
az want one of those long, felt hats, pa
pa" said Toledo girl to her father. The
indulgent father forked over the money and
her head now fills the long-felt want.
ne In Paris photographs are taken at night
Nd by the electric light, and ladies who wish to
- have their pictures in full evening dress
s. stop at the photographers on their way to
as the ball or opera.
H. The Indiana Supreme Court has decid-
's, ed that subscription made on Sunday IL
nd not binding in law. The effect of this will
se be to invalidate subscriptions on Sunday To
lidquidate church debts.
Dr. A man mayn't have cent in his pocket
n
air can procure a toothpick and stand on tbs
- street corners talking weather, there's hardly
so any danger the country going to the bow
Vs. vows.
us Always keep them on hand ,as delay in
ill creases suffering and if you feel sickness
If. coming upon you take q dose of DR.. Bull
Baltimore Pills. They can do you no harm
:. and may save you from the sick room. Pric,
20 only 25 cents, ..... ......
'p- Most f us pass our lives in regrettjnl
ks the past, complaining of the present, ant
On. indulging false hopes of the future, when !
ia would be vastly better to cut pole, diI
no some bait and go fishing, says the Der
's' rick. ...
H. An illustration of prevalent skepticisu
Papa" said a six-year. oldster, In our heSi
Gus ing, "Bennie says that heaven is an elegan
rk place, and that the angels live on food; bu
lily | should like to know how he knows any
the thing about it,"
not Next to taking glass, the most danger
the Gus thing is to throw the glass into tn
- street, as IL the prevalent practice, LIE
'N' barefoot gamius take warning, and driver
ur' take extra precaution to avoid the wors
than torpedo glass.
eye "A story is going the rounds Of the pre-,
Ing about a man who upon waking up on
10 morning anu nuulng thie'es hhu stoieu u
on. entire saw mill, thanked heaven that u
nr robbers had left his water power. Thi
gu man was philosopher, and should be n
as cognized as such.
o'e Mr.. G. d. Brown, of Norway Me-, ,writ'
not to the editor of the New Religion that b
the recently tested the plan of stopping a blai
fair in chimney with salt. A little salt throw
orc on the open fire, and two hsndfuls up Il
''o chimney, stopped conHagrstion threatens
nan to be serious. The effect was instantal