Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-02-20
PITH AND POINT.

F1Ta AND POINT.
WARS a broken heart compared t.
toothache?
ThE OK has a neat Ifoot.-Bo,toe
Transcript.
READY-MADE-The young lady wait
ing for an offer.
WHAT this country would like to sec
Is hen that can lay brick.
"OY5TEE soup decays the teeth," say
an exchange. Go to the church festival.
thou falsife1.
RAzoRs are always strapped: 50 is
young man who is rash enough to- put
in an hour or two at church -fair.;'
A DEA LER i'll clothing may Justly refer
to his place Of business as my ware
house."
The Salem ,SunJeam says gambler j.
the midnight Hoyle" tina. VI read 50
much about.
II your icy sidewalk attempts 10 hau;
down an American, ash it on the spot
Bridgeport Standard.
! The plumbers dying words for hi
absent wife" Tel! her Iii meter over
there, "-N'w }vrk Ex{uess.
WITH all the variety Of canned good
in the market, We have vet TO hear Of
canned hash Wire ing Leodef.
CHR1sT1AECY thinks the health;ez.
craftsmanship is to be found in Peru
Wan b2rk.-Phi(Qdei,hn Buistiu.
| AN Illinois steam co1n-shelIer turrs
out just half bushel Of buttons, bone
and cloth when a boy falls into III.
hopper.
IF the adage, "Out of sight cut Ct
mind" can be relied on, then it is OILY
reasonable to infer that blind men are al
lunatics.
"YEs," she remarked, "the poor dee,
man was getting along as we'll az could
be expected, but be had relax ana that
ended him.
A LONDON letter says that white
stockings are rarely seen. even within
doors. All, where are they seen :-I|
City Derrick.
AN exchange says: "Lawye!~ were
flying round like circular saws yeett!-
day." They weren't doing matters 1,s
the square, you mean.
! LEAvEswoRTH {Ind.) Denucrc.
!
their sheep turn cut, respond: al.
gone to the dogs!''
The Hartwell (Ga Sun congratulate.
the people OF Atlanta that Gen. Sherman
burned nothing while there but Two
boxes Of cigars.
A CHICAGO girls foot got asleep. lot
long since, and it took four weeks end a
canal boat load of alarm clocks to wake
it again Wheeling Leadtr.
! An old man who had been badly hurt
in railroad collision, being advised to
sue the cor Pany for damages, said :
"Well, no, not for damages. Eve had
enough of them; but III Just sue 'em 70,
repairs"
! PEDESTRIAN (who has dropped half
crown in front of " the biind' Why,
you COMPOUNDED humbug, you're rot
blind" Beggar: "Not sir! Ii The card
says I an, they have given me wrong
one. Pm deaf and Dumb Funny
Folis.
TIE most popular of the late inven-
tions for ladies is a low bedstead that no
burglars can possibly crawl unuer. That
is, it ought to be popular, but woman
will insist in looking under the bed Go
matter how low it is, and 50 the inveu.
ton is worthless.
!. OWING to the custom of dying the
hair blonde, the guests of our cheap
; boarding houses are unable to note the
changes among the female help as accur-
btely as formerly: the hairs in the hash
aeing of more uniform color.-Ceur'
Journal.
! REFERRING to the rumo1 that Miss
Fanny Davenport will 60 alone to Aus
tralia, dramatic journal suggests that
"perhaps some one will bring her back y
Let us hope that whoever brings her
ba,k will be 6, cd enough TO bring tie
rest of her.
"WILL you have your necktie in a
single or double bow-knot?' inquired
the hangman as he adjusted the moose
about the neck of fellow who was
about to execute double shuttle in mid
air. s'knot either, if am to have my
choice,;' was the solemn response.-.Syro-
cu:c Standard.
JOHN 81. COMMON, OF Halifax, y. s,
writes: 1.-TWO sons of Erin Isle strayeri
into Coughs saloon and asked George
if he had " any isters?" George replied
in the affirmative, and the talIest one
said to his partner, How will you take
'em, Dennis ?" Divil the know l know"
replied Dennis. Glow will yer have
thin yerself, PATTI "Arrah, l think I'll
take 1haw sthew," said Pat.
A UBIQUITOUS reporter rushed into
the sanctum this morning, and breath
lessly exclaimed, 1--WE just seen some
thing that never saw before, and, alas.
shall never see again." He poke sadly,
and the moisture of a tear began to
glisten on his starboard cheek. "What
is it?" we exclaimed; whence? why
speakW "Ah, boys" he said, 81 have
seen the first of February, 1879" He
has taken his hat home for REPAIRS
Near York Commercial Advertiser.
SPRING, sweet, sweet spring will soon
be here. The green grass will sprout;
the keno player and the lambkin will
gambol; turtle dove will turtle to his
mate; the young mans thoughts will
lightly turn to love; the humble bee will
humble his first humble; the festive yell
low jacket and the small boy will renew
relations; straw hats will come out: SO
will busters, white pants, strawberry tes:
rivals, boils and campaign papers; and
the spring poet will mount the editorial
stair with cheerful face and ten pounds
of manuscript. Spring is at hand. We
cheerfully recognize the fact, and appeal
to all true hearted photographers to pass
the hat around as usual-Ne,o Orleans
Times.
THE Burlington Ha,okeye man is un-
derstood to relate his own experience in
what follows: "Sing me, my OWL" he
whispered lovingly, as they sat down on
the one piano stool, "sing me, %, whis-
per what thou feele>t." IL will, young
man, l WILL" said the tremuleus voice
of her papa, from the direction of the
door. awe will sing it as duet: you
and !; I will feel and you can Whisper
what it is" And then he felt Tor the
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