Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-04-18
The Remorseless Barber.
Bnrdette.

into fremont street Institute of Facial
Manipulation and Tonsorial Decora-
ton" and inquired for the Professor
who occupied the chair Of Medieval
Shaving and Nineteenth Century Sham
boo. One Of the junior members of the
faculty, who was brushing an under
graduates coat, pointed me 10 n chair,
and climbed in. When the perform
ance was about concluded, the barber
said to me:
Have your hair trimmed, sir y
| believed not.
Needs il very badly he said, CLOCKS
very ragged"
never argue with barber. said,
Gall right, trim it u little, but don't
make it any shorter"
He Immediately trimmed all the curl
out of it, and my hair naturally, you
know, has verv graceful curl To it.
never discovered this myself until few
months ago, and then was very much
surprised. ] discovered it by looking Mt
my lithograph.
Well, anyhow he trimmed it.
On the 9th Of December ! was at Bath,
Maine. Again | was shaved, and again
the barber implored me to let him trim
my hair. When ] answered him that il
had Teen trimmed only two days be-
fore, he spitefully asked where it was
done. ! told him, and he gaxe express
sion to II burst Of sarcastic laughter,
Well, well, well" he said Mt last, $50
you let them trim your hair in Boston.
Well, well. Now you look like man
who has been around the world enough
to know better than that"
Then he affected TO examine II lock or
two very particularly, and sighed
heavily.
"Dear, DEAR he said, 81 don't know,
really, W. could do anything with that
hair or not; it's too bad"
Well, his manner frightened me, and
told him to go ahead and trim it, but
please not make it any shorter.
No." he said, ooh, no, 1t wasn't nee
essary TO cut it any shorter; il was real
ly too short now; but il did need trim
ming
So he trimmed" it, and when |
faced the Rocktnd audience that night
looked like u prize-ilghter.
In four days from that time ! was sit
ting in the chair Of II barber down in
New York state. lie shaved me in
grateful silence, and then thoughtlully
run his fingers over my lonely hair.
"Trim this hair little, sir p he said,
strengthening it mp about tho edges.
meekly told him had il trimmed
twice during the preceding week, and !
was afraid il was getting too short for
winter wear.
Yes" he said, "hc didn't know but
what il WAS pretty short, but you didn't
need to cut il any shorter to trim il. IL
was in 4 very bad, ragged shape NJ the
ends"
remained silent and Obstinate, and
he asked mo where ! had il trimmed
last. told him, and he burst into II
shout Of Laughter that made the win
dOws rattle.
whats the matter, Jim ?" inquired
M assistant partner down the room,
holding his patient in the chair by the
nose.
jim stilled his laughter and replied
This gentleman Ind his hair trim
med down in Maine"
There was n general burst of mcrri-
ment MI over the shop, and the APP
prentice laid down the brush he was
washing and came over to look ut the
Maine cut, that he might never forget
il. surrendered. "frim IL little
them" groancd, "but in the name Of
humanity, don't cut il any shorter"
"No" snid tho Earbor," won't mike
ita hairs breadth shorter"
When left that shop, if il had not
been for my ears, my hat would have
fallen down clear on my shoulders.
When reached the hotel, everybody
started,an n couple ofthem got up and
rend hundbll on the wall, descriptive
of n convict who Ind recently escaped
from Sing Sing, and looked from the
bill tomysolt very mtontly. That night
several Of the audience drew revolveis
M came ont on tho platform.
Then | went to Amsterdam, New
York. The barber of that sleepy vii
lagc, who, in tho interval Of his other
duties, acts as mayor Of tho town and
edits tho local paper, undertook to shave
me with II piece of hoop iron he pulled
out Of his bootleg. When resisted ,hc
went out into the kitchen, and came
back with Il knitchcn knife and II can
opener, and offered me my choice.
selected the can-oncncr, and he began
tho massacre, remarking, incidentally,
that he used to keep agood sharp spoke
shave for his particular customers, but
Ind lost it.. Then he said my hair
needed trimming very badly. protest
cd that it was impossible; II had been
trimmed three times within ten days
and was asshort now MS n business man
on the first day of january.
ooh" he said, iii wasn't too short
and besides there wasn't any style
about il nj all." He could give il som,
shnpe, however, he smd without max
ing II any shorter
SO surrendered, ard told him to shape
il up. And If TINT foro-doomod, aband
oned, Amsterdam son of an oakum
picker didn't 20 out into the wood.shod
and came back with rusty old horse
rasp and begin to file away what it'll,
hair had left, He allowed n few
shreds and patches to remain, however
clinging here and there to my scalp in
yhastly loneliness | rather fnnrpl thnI