The Florida agriculturist., 1879-10-22
OCTOBER %
VARIETIES.

Ihere is very llCtle use IN making
to-day cloudy because tomorrow is
likely to be stormy.
"Have you a mother-in-lay ?" asked
a man of disconsolate-looking par
son. "No," he replied, "but I've a
father-in:iail"
Brooklyn Eagles answer to CORE
spondents "Don't ask her to release
you from the engagement. Eat on.
ions."
Things that are to last require time
for building. And when a man is liv-
ing for honor and glory and immor-
tality, it takes time for him to bring
out the full fruit of that which he is
seeking. I
Correspondent-Will the editor
please inform me where my family
can go on Sunday and be cool and
comfortable without danger Of being
crowded Answer, by the Roches-
ter Denaocrdt-Go to church.
"How shall we train our girls
asked an exchange. Train 'em with
about twenty-five yards Of black silk
ifyou want to please your girls. A
silk velvet train would also make
them happy.-Port Chester Journal
|. One who is injured ought not to re-
turn injury, as the multitude think, for
on no account can it be right to do in.
justice. Therefore it is not right to
return an injury, or to do evil to any
man, however we may have suffered
from him.-Socrdtes. ~ ~ Hs3
Poverty is the load Of some, wealth
is the load Of others, perhaps the
greater load fthe two. It1nay weigh
them to perdition. Bear the load Of
thy neighbor's poverty, and let them
bear with thee the load ofthy wealth,
Thou lightenest thy load by tighten
ing his.-Augusti,ae. g
"What is your name p asked
teacher OF boy. 'My name is Jule,"
was the reply; whereupop the teacher
impressively said," "You should
have said julius, sir and now my
lad" turning to another boy, "what
is your name?" Bilious, sir,"-Phil-
dGegphid Press.
"Chawles," languidly drawle1 Jo-
sephene looking up from her book,
u see one of the new studies is trig.
onometry. What is trigonometry ?"
sTrigonometry," replied Charles,
toying with an invalid moustache, ''is
a-a-B the
trigger. of coa,sv. a
said Josephene, resuming her novel.
Squire Quiverful lwho has a large
family, to his eldest sony. "These
are uneommonly good cigars Of yours,
Fred What do they cost you?p +.
Fred "Sixty shillings hundred"
Squire Quiverful: "Good heavens
What extravaganza! Do you know,
sir, that l never gave more than three
pence for a cigar ?" Fred Sand
very good price, too. BY George,
Governor, if had as many children
to provide for as you have, wouldn't
smoke at all."-Pmach. sa.t
The Mount Ayr O1aaoard says that
onion parties are all the rage in that
part otfthe State. Six young ladies
take an onion with them into room
and one of the number takes bite OF
it. Then a young gentleman is ad- y
mitted, and after kissing all OF them,
if he fails to tell which one of them
bit the 'inyun," why then the girls
are all compelled to kiss him, or he
is compelled to kiss all OF them: and
we forget which. The play will have
a big run here if the onions hold out.
A chrome goes with the play.
suppose, as an experiment, the
preachers discontinue Tor awhile rep
resenting hell as a pit OF eternaI
blazes and picture it, instead, as
place where the inmates are COM
pelled to listen to two-hours.long SER
mons p Louisville C'omier.J journal.
Act one, they meet as in pleasant dream; /;
Act two, he'll treat to soda and ice-cream;
Act three, his cash, alas is nearly played;
Act four, his girl grows cold, sedate and
Act FIVE. just as his loveis ripe and yellow,
HIS girl is sporting with another fellow
"Jerusher p exclaimed her rue
Hove, (M was in Bridgetown, Connec-
ticut.) "Jerush, what'll you take for
that gold ring O. yourn ?"
"Well, / don't know, jeremiah"
said she, "you know it's 8 k"
Gust let me have it," pleaded
Jerry, "and I'll send ye a diamond
for it tomorrow. AS good as any
there is anywhere hsi sae
Honest Injun, Jeremiah ?" -il.s
mo mistake" Jeg LII b. I'd