The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-12-25
A Man Of aFaitb.v

The man who stands on the dry-goods
box on the Campus Martius and tells
the public that the medicine in the lit
tie bottles before him is sure cure for
this or that complaint finds about two
believers out of every 100 who pass. If
he only finds one his expectations are
answered, and he makes a good thing
out of it. He began his talk yesterday
with an audience of one. 1t was a fat,
heshy young man of 25, with double
chiu and red neck-tie, and "faith " was
written across his face in letters broad
and plain.
Gentlemen" began the vender, as
be looked the yeung man in the face,
I" do you have a feeling of nashua at
your stomachs? If so, one of these 10
cent bottles of my world pannersea will
instantly relieve and cure"
"Just what want, replied the young
man, and he laid down 10 cents and took
bottle.
Gentlemen" continued the vender,
"do you have backache and chills? If
so, warrant this pannersea to cure you
at two doses. 1t has been tried by Kings
and Emperors, and it has given uni
YER
"Been looking for just this cure"
interrupted the young man, and he paid
for second bottle and fell back into his
old track.
Gentlemen, it gives me pleasure to
assert that this medicine was originally
invented as cure for headache" softly
remarked the seller. When I say it
will cure the worst case of headache
ever known in from three to five min
utes, I solemnly mean what I say. It
has been tried in 10000 cases."
Might as well knock my headache
while I'm about il" said the young man
to himself. and he laid down a quarter
and received his correct change for
another bottle.
"Ahl gentlemen, it does me good to
see that You appreciate my remedy
said the vender as he moved the bottles
around. @Are any of you troubled with
liver complaint or dyspepsia? If SO,
try my pannersea. It has relieved and
cured millions of suffering human be-
ings."
The young man was still the only au-
dience. Faith frightened on his face,
and he laid down 10 cents with the re-
mark:
@My old liver is always kicking mp
trouble, and guess I'll cure herr'
my fellow-citizens," remarked the
seller as he mopped his face, "are you
troubled with toothache, cutaneous dis
eases, palpitation of the heart, loss OF
sleep, or ingrowing toe-nails?"
3We arel" solemnly replied the young
man, and he invested in another bottle
Observation-Disclosures you sub
iect to coughs, hoarseness, bronchitis
quinsy, consumption, nightmare, loss o.
memory, whooping- cough, or falling out
of the hair?"
"Hangedif we ain'tp whispered the
young fellow with the double chin, and
he pocketed his sixth bottle and waited
for further oratory. His remarkable
faith staggered the dealer, who finally
said:
II guess you have enough for thi,
time. Take according to directions
you will soon feel the beneficial eff
fects."
eyes, I will-thank you ever 81
much-yes-" stammered the youne
man. "This ERE remedy isn't good fol
! fits, is it?"
"We11, well," slowly answered the
vender-" shat is, it is not the regula
cure for fits"
"Then, I guess I'll take what I've 90
and get cured of all these things yor
mentioned, and then 90 for the fit
alone and give 'em thunder and blazes
wouldn't your"
"I guess So"
eyes, that's the way. If you bring
out anything for fits I want you to saw
me a gallon. I've been under tn,
weather Just as long as I can stand it
Good-by."- Detroit Free Press.