The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1879-09-04
After q Mouse.

was quietly reading thy newspa,
per the other morning, when | heard
q scream like the whistle OF n loco
motive, coming from the dining
room.
| l rushed to'see what was tbe mat
ter, and found my wife standing OF
a chair, with her skirts drawn tigh,
around her ankles.
"It's q mouse she said wildly.
"Where = 1 demanded.
"There-here e--no-yes, ! DOM
know Oh, for.pity's sake, kill II
Kill it!'
::Where is IL 2 I asked again.
"There's no mouse here.
"Yes, there is, you old fool! Dom,
you see il 7 somewhere anywhere
anywhere-l don't know who're
Why don't you kill il z
Mrs. B. isn't fond OF mice. She
would rather have q hundred dollars
about the house than a single IN )use
and the sight Of one makes the hair
pins drop out Of her head.
MADAM" said I, with on awful
calmness, tell mo where that dimin
utive rodent mammal is, or forever
hold your peace
at is 10 the cupboard, she gasp
cd. Il saw it run under the cup
board door,
II walked over to the cupboard
with the tread Of q gladiator, and
opened il.
Before ] could get my eyes in
range to look for the mouse. il jump.
cd out and ran right over my foot.
II gave IN awful kick-a tremend.
Gus heart-rending kick. And my
foot went clear up to the top Of the
cupboard, and the back Of my head
struck the floor 80 hard that saw
all the planets aud comets that were
ever invented.
/ picked myself up and looked
wildly around for the mouse.
There it is y shrieked Mrs. b
"There-there Quick !
"Where 2 l roared
"BehiLd the table :
sprung to the table, seized one
end of it, and gave it jerk that
brought il to the middle Of tie floor
The mouse scampered.
] saw him running around the
room, and plunged after.
l tried my best TO step on him
but only succeeded in stepping on a
spool OF thread. which my wife had
dropped 10 her excitement.
The spool rolled, and before ! had
time to shut my eyes found myself
standing on my shoulders, gazing
curiously up at my feet, which were
trying to scrape picture OF Benja-
min Franklin of the wall.
As soon a. I got on my legs again,
l made another bolt for the mouse
saw il whizziug across the floor,
and ! bounded toward it, and gave
one furious kick.
Aud kicked tho table.
Then I just grabbed myself up
aud carried myself round on one
foot bowling like a praiIie-wolf, and
calling for srnica and corn salve. till
l heard Mrs. B. screaming
"Don't lot it get away, You fool
Get something and kill it. =
l WAS desperate.
snatched the first thing ] could
lay my hands on, which happened TO
be q base ball bat belonging TO Lot
aud made one murderous sweep.
But instead of killing tho mouse
I upset the chair on which my wife
was standing, and the result was
that she turned graceful sommer.
SGT over against tho pantry door.
She screamed for help, and declar
ed the mouse was eating her up, and
refused to be comforted till l had
placed her on the chair again.
Then she didn't have breath
enough left to call me q brute
though she tried until she was black
in the face.
BY this time was thoroughly ex'
cited, but / knew l must try another
kind Of weapon. .
saw something on the table, and
made grab for it. II proved to be
a warm huckelberry pie, but l didn'i
know it at the time.
l thought saw tho mouse run.
ming mp the wall, and | hurled the
pie at it.
But at that moment my danghte,
opened the door, and walked into the
dining-room, and the pie struck heI