The Newtown bee., 1879-09-10
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

hs speaker OF the house.
A printers standing is established hy
his setting .--YonkerS Salesman.
Marrying a woman for her beauty is
like eating a bird fer its singing.
A man in Liverpool recently died from
the effects of a bite on the finger, inflict-
ed by a drunken woman.
The Zulus cannot comprehend rcvol-
vers, and never take them from the dead
bodies of their English foes.
Nobody should complain of sea-sick-
ness when he considers that even the
ocean is confined to its bed.-BayGrd.
Throw ripe watermelon out of n
three story window, and, presto change!
it comes down squash.-SGnJ0rd AdUo-
cate.
An editor in Memphis thinks that
there is but one cure for yellow fever and
that is flight, vigorously applied.-Eree
Press.
A street sensation of St. Louis, re-
Gently, was n woman III years old look
ing for her lost daughter, n giddy young
thing of seventy.
That's Il relation of yours. isn't it Pr
said man to his wife, at the same time
pointing to a donkey. Yes, by mar
riage," was her singing reply.
The Detroit Free Press has discovered
that one pailful of hot water will clear
corner of loafers quicker than four po-
licemen, and at much less expense.
Never tell man who is using a restor-
atiye that his hair is coming out nicely;
such compliment might seem some
| what biguous--ATuericGSl Punch
DR.. Glenn, candidate for Governor of
California, raised wheat enough during
the summer to load twenty clipper ships,
has hired 500 men and distributed over
$1,000, 900.
Tobacco can by grown in every one of
the States of the Union The annual
production is now 10000, 900 pounds,
valued at S33, Zoo, 900 in its unmanufac-
tured state.
III you want to get at the circumfer-
ence of man." says Josh Billings, eX-
anime him among men; but if you want
tew get at hiz aktual diameter, measure
him at hiz fireside."
The Tribune is publishing a series OF
| papers on THE A Il & of Finance"
The p A Y G of Finance can be con-
densed into four words, Pay As You
G-o.-AtbG,ay Journal.
1t may be some solace to those who
are always dissatisfied and are wanting
to change every day, that wherever they
go on earth they must take themselves
with them.-LdnptOHl.
Albert Victor and George Frederick,
sons of the Prince of Wales, were known
by the nicknames of rat and % Her
ring " on board the training ship Brit
tania, where they recently completed the
course with high honors.
Doctor" said a lady patient, . l sui
fer great deal with my eyes" The old
gentleman adjusted his spectacles, and
with Socratic air replied, do not
doubt it, my friend; but then you ought
not to forget that you would suffer more
without them"
Joaquin Miller says: If you were
to take newspaper in your hand and
crumple it up and then spread it out
again, the creases in it might fairly rep
resent the streets and lanes and alleys of
London, so angular, so awkward and
irregular is this, the greatest OF all cities
of the earth"
At General Clusters home in Monroe,
Mich, the visitor may find reproduced
with the most minute fidelity OF detail
the generals study or private office eX-
actly as it appeared at his headquarters
at Fort Abraham Lincoln when he left
1t for the last time to engage in the fatal
expedition against Sitting Bull
why are you like a crazy man, my
dear?" asked a wife, seating herself be-
side her husband. Don't know" re
piled the husband; Il give it up"
"Why, /" replied the wife, hitching close
up to him, and putting on one OF her
sweetest smiles, Il am your other self,
and you are beside yourself"
Captain Paul Boyton says that he can
go over Niagara Falls in his rubber
suit. No doubt of it. Anybody could.
But can he get back again, is the
question. If 1t can be satisfactorily
shown that he can't, hundreds of per-
sons will subscribe money to induce
him to make the observation-disclosures
0,r7a Herald. s--
According to the London Truth, Canon
Beadon, who died not long ago, at the
age of IG2. attributed his long life to the
fact that he had never entered on any
brain work, even of the slightest sort,
Cor some hours after meal; that during
the last forty years of his life he had
taken no medicine, and that he always
rose at a very early hour.
Two sons ofthe Siamese TWINS. Chang
and Eng, are now living in Summer
county, Kansas. They recently appeared
in the United States land Office. at
Wichita, in a contest in which one of
them was a defendant and the other was
a witness. They me spoken of as intel
ligent, wide-awake citizens, and fully
up to the spirit of the times
A dead African eagle was lately found
at Mama on the southern Greek coast.
On examining the bird an iron-headed
arrow over a foot long was found trans
fixed under one of the wings. Evidently
the eagle had been fired at and struck in
Africa by some native, and had borne
the arrow, in its body in its long fight
over the Mediterranean unit. it fell dead
from exhaustion on touching land at
Mama.
At O'Clock on the morning of March
I6, in 1856, the Late Prince Imperial was
born, just ut the close of the Crimean
war. The Emperor and Empress at once
declared themselves godfather and god
mother to every child born in France on
that day, great amount was distributed
in charities, and two thousand prisoners
received a free pardon. In reply to his
congratulation of the Congress of Paris,
! then sitting. the Emperor made this
forebcding allusion: THE unanimous
acclamations which surround my child's
cradle do not prevent me from rejecting
ON the destiny of those born in this
same place and under similar eircum-
stances.