The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1879-01-02
POLLING A RIVAL.

"The critter loves me! I know she
/ loves mep said Jonathan Doubilins, as
he sat on the cOrnfeld fence, meGitating
/ on the course of true love, that was rum
ming Just as Shakespeare always said 1t
( did-rather roughly. of Suke Peabody
! has taken a shine to that gaWky, long
shanked, stammerin', shy critter, Gusset,
! Just cause he's a city feller, she amt the
| gal took her for, that's sartain. No, its
/ the old folks, darn their ugly pictuTs.
/ Old Airs. Peabody was alters a dreadful
/ high-falutin CTitteT, full Of big notions,
/ and the old mans soft head Is driven
about by our CantankerOus DOrkin' hen.
I But if don't spile his fun then my name
ain't Jonathan. Pm going down to the
I city by the railrOad-neXt week, and when
I come back wake snakes, that's all
The above s0lilOquy may serve to give
the reader some slight idea Of the lay Of
the land, in the pleasant village where
the speaker resided.
Jonathan DOublikins was q young far
mer, well to do in the world, and looking
out for a wife, and had been paying his
addresses to Miss Susan Peabody, of that
ilk, with a fair prospect Of success, when
a CITY acquaintance Of The IcG5CCly's, .o.zc
Mr.. Cornelius Gussett, who kept a retail
dry goods store in Hanover street, =
ton, had suddenly made ills apBeaTaTi.s e
in the field; and commenced the cutting
out game. Dazzled with the prospect Of
becoming gentleman's wife, pestered
by the opportunities Of her mamma, the
village beauty had begun TO waver, when
her old lover had determined on a last
bold stroke to foil his rival. He went to
the city and returned; Of his business
there he said nothing, not even to the
pumping maiden aunt who kept house
for him. He went not near the Pea
bodys, but labored in his corn fields and
garden, patiently awaiting the result Of
his Vaccinations.
The next day Mr.. Gussett was sitting
with the old folks and their daughter, in
the best room of Peabody mansion, chat
ting as pleasantly as may be, when the
door opened, and IN rushed furious
Irish woman.
"Is it here We are, Misther Cornelius"
she exclaimed, addressing the ast6I3lsfhed
Gussett. "COme out of that before I
fetch We, ye spalpeen! is that what ye
promised me afOre the praiste, We hay
then naygur? Cummin' away from me
and the childer, fOrsakin' your lawful
and welded wife, and runnin' after Yam
kee GIRLS, We infidel"
''Woman, there must be some mistake
herr" ," "stammered GuSset, taken all abaCk
by the charge.
"Devil a bit of mistake, We sarpent.
Oh warra! was it for the like of ye l
sacked Dennis Mccarthy, who loved the
very ground I trOd on, and all bekase We
promised to make a lady Of me, ye dirty
thafe of the wurrUld? VIII We come
along to the railroad station, where left
little Patrick, because he was too sick
with the smallpox to come any fuEder,
or will We wait til I drag ye2
"Go-go-along," gasped GIssett, go
and I'll follow you"
He thought it best to temporize.
Il give YOU ten minits," said the vira-
90. five amt there thin, it's me cous-
in, Mr.. Thuddy Tulgrudery, will be after
We, We thafe' And away went this un-
bidden guest.
Mr.. Gussett was yet engaged in stam-
mering out a denial Of all knowledge of
the virago. when the parlor door opened
and a little black-eved, hatchet-fICed
woman. in a hashy silk gown, and a cap
with many ribbons perched on the top
of her head, invaded the sanctity' of the
parlor.
'Is he here?' she. cried in a decided
accent Then she added, with a Fcream,
" "Ah-mOn dieu Ia VOLTA Here he H.
Traitre. mOnstret Vat fOryOa run away
from me? Dis two or tree year. ney-
air see you, neYair, and my heart broke
very bad entirely"
"WhO are YOU" cried Gussett. his ewes
starting out of his head and slEiyering
from head TO foot.
sHe asks who I am! o ladies! 0 you
respectable old gentlehomme ! hear you
vot he ask Who am ]! Petrifed!
am your wife
Il never saw you before in my life, 50
help me God" cried Gussett energetic
ally.
6Don't you swearT' said Deacon Pea.
body. "Ef you do I'll kick you into fits,
by golly. 1 won't have no profane nor
vulgar language in my house"
90, bless you respectable old man dell !
him he must come Wis me. Dell him |
hev spoke to ze constable-Del hinI-.r' /
sObs interrupted her utterance.
Its pesby bad business" said the f.
Deacon, chafng with UnWOnted ire. /
tGussett, yOu're'a rascal" -.
Take care, Peabody, take care q! said
the uncomfortable store-keeper.
Il remarked you were a rascal Gus
sett. You have gone and married two
wives and that eTe's a fat burglary, If I I
know anything about revised statutes"
Two yifes !" shrieked the French wo-
man.
Now you clear out Of my house, 90 70 /
the railroad station, and clear out into .
Boston. / won't have nothin' more to
10 with you"
"But Deacon, hear me"
81 don't want to hear you, ye sarpint,"
,ried the Deacon, stopping his ear --th
ais hands. "Marryin' two wives. and
3omin' courtin' a third! Go long! leave
his house.
Even Mrs. Peabody, VINO was inclined
o put in word for the Culprit, was
ilenced. Susan turned from him in hor-
or, and in utter despair he fed to the
'ailway station, holly pursued by the
,lamOrous and indignant French woman.
That same afternoon as Miss Susan
Peabody was walking toward the village,
he was 0vnTf. lvpT1 Inv Mr. Jonathan