davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-12-27


denial to show to .Rosalind when he an
nounces his decision. / have papers here
all drawn up, and all that viii be necessary
is simply your signature. Here-it is only
plain, simple avowal on your part that
you have no hopes nor thoughts Of seeking
the hand of the lady in marriage"
As the Count spoke he drew a paper from
the bosom of his marten doublet, and hav-
ing opened 1t he handed it towards the gum
maker. But Ruric took it not. BE drew
back and gazed the visitor sternly in the
face. las. 49,. s...... '-.s
81 Sir Count" he cried, in tone full OF
noble indignation, what do you suppose
ana p Do you mean to tell me that Olga,
Duke OF Tuia, has commissioned you to
obtain such accommodation OF me ?"
"Stephen," spoke the Count, turning to
his companion, "you heard the instruc-
lions the Duke gave nae this morning2"
"Aye," returned Urzen, directing his
speech to Rurie, 81 did hear; and you
| have stated the case plainly: ''-s-..-14bi
| 81 may be, Us much surprised as your
SELF" resumed the Count, haughtily, sssat
+ this strange taste OF the duke. Why he
should seek. this signal from you I can only
Imagine upon bis desire to call up no regrets
lin the bosom Of his fair ward. "a He knows
THAT she was once sl1umate With you, and
that she; now feess warm friendship for
you. For Der sake be would have this sig
nst from You.n 90 !, s. .sr . 81 Iii + ~,
"But how for herr sake - asked Ruric.
I" Why, y returned DaDonoR. z, do you not
seef Rosal!nd, In the simplicity OF her
heart may thinka:ttae yoti yuu
might claim her love: and out Of pure prin-
ciple grant 1t eEonasimply afbecause you
were The FIRST claimants" VS. ,ay.sy ST..
q But I never claimed her love, - aid
Rnris, warmly.S'.H she. loves me, she
foyes me ) from her own beart. With the
noble duke T never spoke but once. and
Then ne sam hsss ,,s e% 1hs .a aus
id so; end II :ySnf seek help III the work,
|Ieek dc from thoee who bare seaae yer ia
). Yoa Mistaks oil, saia Tho Count, hot.
IlY, ! seek not posesr aew, pnl seek Q
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

4 BIRDS AFT aCTioE.-A iaiy Uho lives on
Olive street. 81. Louis, relates the following
A few days ago there fell in front Of Der window
from .rco 'chirpy," or ground bird, such as
chatter shout the parks and Streets 1t seemed
wearcd snd crippled She picked il up, carried
it into tho house, fed it from her own mouth
and vt u!ght placed It in the cago with Der canae
~. Iha canary y. once bestowed UPON the now
conner all of the attention OF e mother and most.
| lod beside the little stranger a. night In the
morning the laig placed tho chippy in the win
dow, go that It might have the privilege of re-.
gsinlng It's freedom II plumod its tiny wings
and went awsy. The canary mourned during
the day as if il had lost liz male In the evening
the chippy came back and perchni upon The
window. Tho sash WAS raised Rnd IN it flew
snd nestled upon tho cage, and seemed gratife.
This WAS repeated two or three days, The chipDy
going each morning and returning in the even
ing. One day it won't away and did not come
back. The canary dropped. and the next ~
fell dead from Its parch in the window. mat
night the chppy returned, snd during tho even
ing 1t Inourncd over lis dead companion. In tho
| morning 1t chung to the cage until it WAS turned
out. For few days tho empty cage was hung
in the window, and on each succeeding evening
tho chippy returned and chirped rs if it was
grief stricken. One dsy it brought worm in
| its bill, dropped 1t in the cage, few away and
came back no more,
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30
kDE.gE REEi-ETkEs

There WAS another fno rain this morning
which was welcomed by the farmers and gar
denors
Tho excursion or the Relief Hook ard Ladder
Company last night. was ono of the most en-
joyab!c OF the season.
Tho Committee on Poor Of the CITY Council
to-day visited the a. Inns House in com pany with
the new Superintendent, Mr.. Cornwoll.
Among the unmailablo letters detsined in the
klchmond postotlce is one to w. Barnett, or
this city. V
Several bars are reported in the canal be.reen
9eorgetoWn and FONT OF Rocks, but workmon
are rapidly cleaning them out.
the Finance Committee OF the CITY Council
met last night and examined and approved The
bonds OF the policemen who 90 on duty on Fri.
dsy.
Tho barge Arctic of the Great Falls Jce Com
pany, was launched rom tho ways at the shio
yard yesterday evening. Thetug boat Potomac
WAS also launched. The tugs Kate and D. NJ
Key were hauled up this morning to hsye soma
repairs made to their rudders.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30
Cholera.

DUBUQUE lows, July 30--A disease akin to
cholera 10 ravaginy Center Point, Linn county,
in this State. Fully persons have died from
its effects during the pest IS days and an equal
number h-v9 been Frustrated by il. l. is also
raging in Walker, little town seven miles from
center Point. several desths having occurred
there. AN order Tor forty Collins wss received
from Center Point yesterday by Dubuque un-
Ge-Ls kar
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30
Heavy Rain.

CiNCINNATI, o.. July 30-A special dispatch
from Wooster, Ohio, says terrific rain storm
burst upon that city lsst evening, the water
coming down in 2 perfect flood, subnereing
wnole streets and rising waist deep in a number
OF houses III the lower part of the town. The in
mates of some OF tho houses were obliged to be
removed By means of ladders. The wster lood-
cd the gas house TO the depth of five feet Cows
and smaller animals were carried away. The
telegraph lines and railroad tracks st of tho
Town Wsro washed sway
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30
Struck by lightning,

STAYNER, ONT, July 30.-Duriug thunder
storm yesterday evening Peter Walker me. with
probably fatal accident While engaged 10
teamlog ne was struck by lightning. The horse
ran away, throwing him of the load, the wagon
passing over his body.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

FIGHT.-Sonc excitement WAS caused on The
cast cnd Ut tho tunncl aa; light By q fight
which occurred there between two well kuuwo
residents of the lst ward. The parties wsre
quickly separated by the bgstandcrs, sud th1
Mayor this morning made theu pey q fno VI
81 80 each.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30
Fire.

NEWETRG n. Y, jug 30.-D4uicl Ornis
bees brick bulliug at Ma,trawan, occupied! BY
Robt. Strain, grocer, was burned on Monday
night Two yourg men, sieepins NJ stairs.
narrowly escaped destruction. Tuisi los So.
GOO Insured.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30
Arrested

ST LOUIS. July 3d.. z. Kreiger, sr., pres.
ident OF tho defGnct Broadway Savings Bank,
has been arrested on a charge Of embeazionent
in connection with the alleged frauds committed
By the officers OF that institution He gave bonds
and Wss released.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

Flour continues dull end quiet, with but little
on hand. Vhoat shows considerable decline
since our last 1Uots:ions, and tho highest price
paid to day wGs 1885, the receipts are fair, and
there were offerings of 300J bushels, with sales
a! W, iC4 and lC5 for Fu|tz, and 1O7 and l0S for
Lancaster. Corn ia scarce and firm, with small
sales ut 81. No ::yc reported, and lGl bushels
81 rats 5Eough! 81 Country produce is in light
receipt and Quotations arc unchanged.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30
KOCHE VIEWS,

WEATHER PROBABILITIES. July 50, 1870
For tho Middle States light rains, and partly
cloudy wcather, cast 10 south winds. stationary
or slight fall in temperature, snd no thsnge in
barometer
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

EayMALARIA DIsARMED OF It's TERRORs.-
Ma!sfis. inst fell atmospheric poi on, is dis
armed Of its terrors and heslth insured TO thous-
snds residing where tho noxious exhslaton DO
riodicaily intects the air, and engendcrs inter-
mittcnt and rcmittont levers, by Hostetter's
Stomach I:ittore, the most poruInr as il is the
best of prev, nlives, alternatives and tonics. In
numberless Localities where the demand for sui
phate of quinine was formerly immense, The
huTtfu a!k,.lOi1 has been almost entirely sup.
planted by this safc agreeable and i.ctive sub.
stIiute. which is gents! in action and unobjec-
i0nab!o in .yO-. il nullifes the il luonce of
miasTa bT giving moro active impulse to eve.
rY Wits! tnnctl0n. Guirkaning and erriching tho
blood, overcoming o tendency to tiliousness,
and promoting digestion
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

BROKEN OPEN,-rhc store Of Justice james
Palmer, Of WlndsoEs brick yard, D4af Fort
hunyan, vas broken Into last night. The thief
only secured abou! iweo,y cents 10 email change,
and mGSt haze been scared of, as number Of
shoulders OF bacon &C., wore left hangiag 10
tho store.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

Personal j Joseph Kaufman, ESD, an
family returned homo last evening. from = "a
journ Of several weeks, ct River Spriucs. Md
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

'E'H e HOST HUMohogS BOOKS Of TIE
= DAY
Elbow Boom, by Max Adler with many tu-
morous i!iuslraLi rs by trost; 75c
Random Shots. By same -ulhor; 49,.
Ss,scy's lessons in Photography, (short
mad w7t!ng)i 81
:. Thou nts 10 the Firasido and !hs School, By
kov }. i. Gross; 81 25
Msrkuf, by Henry Gravi!io; Sl.E0.
The Ghost of Bsdbraok 81 %
aoro AdVenLura. rovel, by Elzoy Hsv;
S'l.25; paper covers 75c
DoL'coId, romance, by ". II. Bishon; 81 -.
-. Ci"ro snd babe, novel, by the author of
"l!carts Doairc;" G0c.
mo A5bts compilation, bS Emile Lola; 81 .&.
FljttorS, latter and The Counsellor; l5c.
Holor Hiintness, its Dangers and Detection, by
Joy .jshrcs III. u; s.
Seaside, Lakeside and Franklin Square pub.
llc.tioas: additions daily.
A tu'i assortment of papetries from l0c. to So 80
esch
Job lot cheapest paper and envelopes in the
stale GEO. IL. FRENCH,
Jcl'i 9j King st
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30
CA NAL COSi NJ ERGE

: rrivcG-Boa:s Il * Shaner, and Capt l, H
NuAa to Hamp and BALTIC Coal Co; ID l. TAYLOR
|" S!nclalr and Agnow; a j Akin to American
Cost Go.
Der"rtod-Bost A J Akin,
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

lu nursery wherein all is lite and laugh in.
stead of crying and frettng, there is sure to be
found DR.. Bulls Baby Syrup. Price % cents
O bottle.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

SPECIAL NoTICE-To the ladies' Wehavc
nov 10 store large stock of Ladies', Meps
and Childrens' Low Quarter Shoes, suitable
Tor tho present season. These goods are beau.
tliul, handsome and durable, aud vii! be sold
at such prices as cannot fail to please. All in
want will please call and examine for themselves
at ITO King street. W. B. WADDEY.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30
Coal sales

New YORK, July 30.-Fitt7 thousand tons
OF ScrautoU coal was sold OF auction to day AZ
follows: Crate, 81 50; egg, 81 Is; stove from
So 72a to 81 IS, cod chestnut. 81 80.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

EEUlCh SUGAR CURED SHOULDERS,
~ Breasts and Hams received This day and for
sale st lowest prices by
jy "a +. J. DAVIDSON. 147 King ST.
WE HAVE slot of fne HANDKEHCHIEF
w EArRACTS-iubin, Edreh and Con
dray-Wnlch we sIe selling out at 25c q bot, q,
Jy 10 l.. STAELhR s co.
FULL ROE POTOMAC HERRING: for sale
r. oS lJy "A }. 9. MIL3URN.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

1t oeVer fails" can truthfulIy be said of
that great remedy for BiIIiousness. Lar5que's
Anti Bilious Blttcrs. 81 90 will do the work:
so If you arc troubled with q arrangement Of
the Liver or Stomach, so to your druggist and
get bottle. SEQ that wv. +. Thornton.
Prop'r., Baltimore. is on the package, W&S,
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

The LITTLE RIVER PIKE } udgo Sapcsscr
of the Couoy Court OF Fairfax, at the last
term, entered an order declaring that portion
OF the Little River Turnpike. bntwcen German.
toWa, near Fairfax 9. H., and this city, 10 ba
condition, aud 10 accordance with his order the
c>ilectou OF tolls 90 that part Of the pike 7gIl
no discontinued after AUGUST lOsh, aod un,l
The road is pu! ia ihoroush o1d!r.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

WIDE AWAKEl New SPRING STYLES
Doors AND SHOES. Tho largest, best selected,
and cheapest stock OF boots and shoes over offer-
Cd IN this market
FH:ry man ought to consider where he can
g6t The most value for his money. A penny
saved, Is penny earned. Ali W. ask our friends
and patrons is TO favor US with ca, and con.
vince themselves of tbs fact ihat we can NEE.
the demands Of ell.
We gro resolved to sell our goods at 80 email
profit th st the people must buy.
Thereby enabling us 10 keep orr stock always
seasoneble
A failure to examine our stock is an opportu-
mtg lost
We can make it 10 your intorns; 10 trade with
us
Cur goods .re bought from first Misunderstanding
do4bt" HrohF snd giving our customers the
tennG.
Country merchants vii! find to their advsn-
L'Fn 10 oGnlIna cur stock iron, winch oul.:lly
good soiac.ioEs can be made 1t pricus that will
compare ieVorab!y with those Of tho northern
cities
i,.dics' Pebble Goat HUttpa Huo,s, Il - 20 3 %
- French Kid " - to 4 so
Lasting SO&ed l2l TO ) uU
iulsh ca to 2 ~
" ia - L 90
" Slippers IN great variety 2lto2OO
gems Cat Boots 81 tn 3 UO
- C"arso Shoes (Solid) yrtoI5D
Fling Gel! - All Prices
:''-ses' Boots 90 10 ~
I'l!1r"H6 :S''"ls 10 IT, IT.
W.B WAppEY,
no iiJ King Street,
Alexandrs, Va.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30
NefHuElGc.

LAWRENCE, Mass. July 3O.-Presco:t G.
pisbury, cashier of the Lawrence National
Bank, is detaulter to the amount of SG4 600,
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30
ARRIVED

PORT OF ALEXANDRIA,, JULY 30, 1874
sun rls"s.....,-....... Sun rets.......... II
ARRIVED.
Sir t0oFGo l.cary. Norfolk TO z Hooo
;'Lc Lady Of the Lake Noriolk to e Rood.
SiI M"ttnEo, lower Ptc - j Brcdcrs Sc 60.
"chr Lathe kcisio, ;'oiiadciph - W A
Smppt
CLEARED.
Fir Lady Of tho Lake, Norfolk. by A Reed,
Str GcoCEe Leary, Norfolk, by Z Hooc.
MEMORANDA.
Schr j Young, Gcorgetrwn, :,t Boston 18th
Schr Seorgic Eun,loy called from Bath for
GccrQCtowr 18th.
%chr Il = Tsber, Georgetown. s. New Bed
ford 9TH.
h"rce, II Providence Ssh.
Scar Theodore Dean, Gardiner for Washing.
Tor, fl Vineyard Haven 10Th.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

Ew IcRK, July %O-Stocks firm Money
-,""'i. flouT quiet. Wheat fairly ac!lvo. Corn
dutl.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

MILITARY ENAMlNATON -II"utcuanis Gee
Mcl!urnry, ir., Ffancis L. Marbur,, and J.
William pur.ington, Of the Alexandria Lifh;
intao'rY We're examined last evening or tactics,
~ by = beard composed by Geo NJ. d. Cor-e
Col. Morton h!ayrc and Capt. =. b. llnoc. All
three OF the hcutensnts we're declared fully
comictGn! anG q cGrljGclto to that IF ct was
Mgnod. Their rmW;sslons are expected, 10 u
few days.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30
ALEXANDRIA CATTLE MARKET, July &C. -

'''' 80 -" s'-]' ~ SiJ-....-
." !h~Ikot WIS VOL supplied with god cattle,
"hi hGyrFs 6on8fi more freely than last week,
good many ci.,.nS,ng hands st prices shout the
in" ~ Is. week. Calves iuil aud nominal.
H"rR sad Lnnns in good supply and limited
d""Hrd. I"2s vcTy dull with very fcw coming
az. t,ws sad Ea;v"s IN fair dennnd for good
ines. MarEc. gcnaraiiv lair
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

E'LOgR-Cone s Weston's Best Patent Pro.
u cess, Fieklen'a Bridyowster and WenyeT s
Fancy Family Flour; also Cameron Mills and
other choice Extra Flour for sale at
Jg II j. c. MILBURN'S.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1879-07-30

kALTiMoRr,iy 20 Va IS old -; DO Dr. -; do
c'"s1 o'3 d" ~ s:ri"s ~; Va 1910; io3 past
Ia" ""Ur"ne SUa hi.! tn.fay Sugar steady;
soft >i-Si. Cotton dnll; lniidirg III. Flour
steady: Howard street and Wrs:orn Super 81
- 80; i" Extra 4S54 10; DO Family 5s25 IS :;
'lly stills super 2jaS3 80; do Extra 4 25a
: 70; do BIO brands i'$G -; Pstspsco Family
- 10. hcat-SonLharn firm; Western firm {;
Southern red l02al0A do amber li0.ll2;; No /
Nary li2t; No. Western winter red spot
and July ll0Si aug Tic! .liOg; Sept 1lG!-1l0a !;
Tel HE. CorH--Southa tlrm in absence OF
'"cai"!*; Western quie. and firm; Southern
AID July tii@lla; Aug li1alia; Sept 15iai5Q :;
'ct IHaitt steamer liz Hat5 lower aid fairly
%cL'vc; southern $50; W"s!era whto 37n&S
d. naked 36a3T; pc&na S7s3S Rye steady al
IDS Hay steady and unchanged. Coffee
T'"t ard steady; Rio Cargoos 1,!sl1i Whiskey
inactive Ut 01!N$l Us.
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1879-06-28

Senator Matt Carpenter is said
to be dying Of tobacco poison. He
consumes twenty Havana cigars
per day. The men who are stalking
their money on Grant DOW recall
the fact that the old commander
counts that day lily spent when he
doesn't burn thirty aReina Victo-
rias" iD the southeast corner OF
his mouth.
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1879-06-28

This line is necessary to fill oas
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04
A Nevada Judge.

at is surprise to see a young
man like you here" said Judge
Bowker, at Reno, New, the other
day, to a fellow who had been
whooping it over night. "You fill
ed yourself up with. an enemy to
deprive you of your brains," pro-
ceeded the court, rearrapging its
spectacles and glaring at the cul-
prit. "Now, here you are, a
young man of intelligence and
good clothes on, and doubtless have
a mother and sisters who think a
great deal more of you than | do.
You've been sent to school and
taught how to earn good living.
In return for this you go scream
ing around the streets at midnight,
tearing down signs and making a
wild beast of youself. Is that like
the conduct of a reasonable crea-
ture No, of course it isn't. Now,
I'm going to teach you a lesson,
young man. You needn't turn pale,
for it won't help you any. Have
you got any chewing tobacco about
youl Thankee. Chew more and
drink less, like do. You're dis
charged. Next time you're tempt
ed to take drink, think of my
kindness and weep, and refrain
from the debasing habit. Eh |!
Well, l don't care if l do. Avery,
come out and join me with this
young gentleman ."-Exchange.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

An ambitious young clerk in a
wholesale grocery establishment
resolves to enter the civil service
and so presents himself before the
examiners. One of the questions
is: "What is coffee and where
does it come from ?" "Oh, come
now, you know says the candi-
date, 81 can't give away the boss
allow me to plead privilege
That's professional secret"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

If you were to accuse Miss Ana
line de FlulSey of overweening sell
conceit, you would not abash her
in the least; she would retort that
one has a perfect right to admire
the masterpieces of Nature. The
day after the announcement of her
engagement to Fred Dory, an old
friend offered his congratulations.
mot me-" she said, and she twitch-
ed her nose haughtily, "congratu-
late Fred."-Puck.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

A man may be ever so strong
and brave an self-reliant, but when
the rear button comes off his shirt
band and his collar persists in
climbing mp and sitting on the top
of his coat, he feels that his happi-
ness, his every hope of comfort in
this life, is in the hands of woman.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

At st. Anne's Sabbath school in
Lowell, in answer to the question !:
switch is the greatest church fes-
tivali" little orphan Of 6 years
promptly responded. "The straw
berry festival."-Lowell Courier
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

A room will hold nearly twice as
many people when the light is dim
as when it is bright; at least we
have noticed that when the gas is
low in the parlor, young man and
a young woman can both sit in the
same space which either one of
them took up when the full head
was on.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

Saucissenkartoffecb cbruchsauerkra
utkranzwuurst is a favorite Ger
man dish.-Exchange. A railroad
traveller who had "five minutes for
refreshments undertook to call
for plate of the above mentioned
stuff, and the train was at the next
station, twenty miles distant, be.
fore he had the dish half named.
-Norristown Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

Speak of a mans marble brow,
and he will glow with conscious
pride; but allude to his marble
head, and he's mad in a minute
Language is a slippery thing to
fool with much. Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

Robust effort from the Boston
Transcript: Tie cigar that looks
bad, feels bad. tastes bad, smells
bad, and annoys the ear by its
spluttering, is five sense cigar, il
there was such q thing.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

The following answer was re-
Gently given to an examiner at an
examination: "What do you know
of the patriarcbal Adam I" "He
was the father Of Lot, and had two
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

Instructor in Logic to Mr.. H.
"By what method of reasoning do
you infer that bullet is hot after
it strikes target" Mr.. H.-"By
picking it up, sir."-Yale Record.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

Cider may be a good temperance
drink, but can manage to git so
drunk on it that kant tell one ov
the 10 commandments from a bye
law ov base ball club.-Josh Bill
ings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

wives, Hishmale, and t'other Hay
CUR; one became pillar Of salt in
the daytime and the other a pillar
of fire at night"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

Tacks on spirits This is the
time of the year when Toodles
comes in late, tries to steal up
stairs in his stocking feet, and sud-
denly gives a yell like a Conan
che.-Cincinnati Commercial.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

The flea, says Boston Transcript,
is the politician of the insect world.
H. is ever itching for place, creates
no @endnof disturbance and you
never know where 10 find him.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

A Philadelphia paper. in giving
the vital statistics Of that city,
luminously observes: "Of births,
1886 were children"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

The Detroit Free Press says
that those who sleep under sheds
are safest from aerolites. Perhaps
it might be better to creep into a
dark hole where nary-a-lite could
strike a fellow.--N. Y. CONNER
cial Advertiser.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

The boy who had to he driven
to the bath tub last winter, now
bathes for hours at time in the
canals and rivers.-Cincinnati Com
mercial.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

Considering the fact that every
child almost is familiar with the
book, we could never understand
why Riding Hood is called Little
Red.-Cincinnati Saturday Night.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

"What delightful fellow that
Edward is-so jolly-his pocket
book always OPEN "N-Yes to
anyone that wants to put anything
into it."
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-06-04

He was hard looking old Gus
toner; he was blear eyed; his
hair was long and struggling; his
clothes were in rags, and he was
fearfully dirty. You never would
have supposed that he was worth
$4,000, 900, and he wasn't.