The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1879-05-10
VARIETY.

An exchange Of the Democratic persuasion says:
" The Iilden ball is rolling Probably q mis-
print for barrel
Il is better to love person you can not marry,
than to marry person you can not love. This
is n short text for q long sermon.
Georgia carried by Grant in $780, We will
quit the state and crawl into a gopher hole If he
does.- Georgia Paper. Just the way you did in
December, 1864. Only it was Sherman that
time.
"Why are you looking at me so intently,
Alice7 " said Theodore. '' / was grazing at va
caucy " replied Alice, dreamily; and yet there is
O twinkle about her mouth that shows her ap-
Praisement Of the young man.
At Georgetown, Mass. the son OF a widow
married girl whose brother married the widow,
while child born to the first couple has an un-
Gle And grandfather and grandmother and an
auntfu the same persons.
Vice is very prolific. A lie hates to be alone,
and must have company. He who tells one lie is
sure to tell another to cover up the first and q
third to cover up the other two. After that he
becomes accustomed to it and stops counting.
A newly-married lady was telling another how
nicely her husband could write. 80 Oh, you
should Just see some of his love letters" "Yes,
I know" was the freezing replyi''I've got bush
el or 'em in my trunk Tableau.-TYirginia
Chroniele.l
A bachelor who lately died in Manchester, Eng
land, Ieft his property to the thirty women who
had refused his matrimonial offers. He said in
his will that to their refusals he owed the peace
he had enjoyed during life, and that he felt him
self their debtor.
Vermont preacher, after standing the free
ring temperature Of the church as long as he
that this house is better warmed this afternoon;
it's of no kind Of use for me TO warn sinners of
the dangers Of hell when the very idea of hell Is
comfort to them
Old lady to taxidermist: - You car see your
self, man, you only stuffed my poor parrot in the
summer and here his feathers tumbling out be-
fore your eyes" Taxidermist; Lor' bless ye,
IN, that's the triumph Of our art. We stufs 'em
90 natural they mOults in their proper season.
Burlington Ralrkeye: What does your hus-
band dO?-' asked the census man. 80 He amt
doin' nothing at this time Of the year." replied
the young wife " Is he pauper asked the
census She blushed scarlet to the ears
Law no." she exclaimed, somewhat iDdig-
nantly. I'VE amt been married morn SIX
weeks"
Before marriage Oh, my darling. your voice
Is az musical 70 me as a vesper bell whose tone:
faIl softly on the perfumed evening AR Speak a.
gain and cay those words, my beloved, for could
listen 10 YOUR voice until the stars extiuguished
in everlasting night - After marriage" I've
had just enough Of your clapper, old woman, anC
ffyou don't let up I'll leave the house .'-Nclrarl
Gazette.
MK. NAsHY : COSCLCSIOS--NO ODpreJudiceC
person will ever hold Mr.. TiIden guilty. He WI
the victim NV nevew PeltOn wich hez allus lee
him.
A BOYS HARD SUNDAY.-The head of boy
about ten years old might have been seen stick
ing through a picket-fence on Beaubien stree
Sunday evening a loud ''yah-hOo"" sigma
was given TO some one IN the house lad o
- thereabouts" frally opened the door and came
out and asked
.t Is that you, Jim What yer want?'
"I didn't see ye down where we was riding
ON cakes Of ice in the slip" replied the other.
81 know ye didn't. This has bin the hardes
Sunday ever put in on earth"
- Dad sick ?"
- No, dads in Saginaw. but nam got som'
gold in her front teeth yesterday, and she wa
Bound to go to church to-day if it killed her.
had to run all over and borrow things Tor her
and then stay home and take keer OF sis
as Is it real gold, Jim p
81 guess so, for she went in the morning
then in the afternoon, then 10 lecture, and She
now gettin' ready for the evenin' sermon an
nracticin' on shown her three front tee.n. In
eoin' to run away as soon as grass starts =