The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-02-13
PASSING SMILES.

TIE jawbone of an ass is still quite
formidable weapon.-NeaO York Herald.
Well, WE'LL Don't brag gl-Detroit Post.
If some of our modern tragedians
would stop chewing soap and take to
swallowing crooked fish bones, the pub
lie would get more of its moneys worth
out of them Wheeling Leader.
"IsAY, Jack, which would you rather,
that a lion tore you to pieces or a
tigerf' "Why, you goose, of course I'd
rather lion tore tiger in pieces.-Bos-
ton Globe,
THERE is one single fact, which one
may oppose to all the wit and argument
of nfdelity-namely, that no man ever
repented of being a Christian on his
death bed.
ABOUT one-half of all the trouble IN
this world is manufactured to order out
of nothing, and large share OF the other
half is is the result of not knowing the
true value of things.
SAY. what is honor? IT'S the finest sense
OF Justice which the human mind can frame,
Intent each lurking frailty to discialm,
And guard the way of life from all ofiense
Suffered or done. --H"ds"""''
AS wise men let themselves appear
natural before fools, it swell to appear
as fool at times to learn where men
who think themselves wise are weak,
and then bind them, or know In the
future where TO trust the javeiin.
In struggling to make "a dull Drained
boy understand what conscience Is,
teacher finally asked. "What makes you
feel uncomfortable after you have done
wrong? "Father's leather strap,
feelingly replied the boy. -' -.
STRANGE there are men occupying
high position in business and society N
this city, not knowing how to read. This
! remark is suggested by seeing the NUM-
Der of intelligent looking men utterly
unable to decipher the mystic legend,
fsPlease shut the door"
- A LITTLE girl who was somewhat out
| of sorts, but whose exact ailment no one
| had been able to discover, amended her
evening PRAYER of "God bless papa and
mamma, - by adding. 'and cure me
if there's anything, the matter with
me!p .'''''" -5tat = =1-fH H9e - -
lrI BETTER THAN GOLD.
Better than gold is a thinking misd,
| u That in the realm of books can ind
| a treasure surpass sing Australian ore, - - z
And live with the greatrand good OF yore;
| The sage's lore and the poets lay, E.SF yf.Il.
| The gloIies of empire pas away;
| r., The worlds great dream win tbu unfold, g. r
4CAId yield pleasure better than god
y Better than gold is peaceful home, III i.h.
Where all the fireside characters come,
| The shrine of love. the heaven of life, = Va
i e. Hallowed by mother, or sister, or wife;
+ However humble the home may be, ~
| Or tried with sorrow by heavens decree,
| The blessings that never were. bought : or sold,
j And center there, are better than gold. -, -
| "a! II X. i!aH. -. - -
AN old Mississippi captain, who 'ac-
] companied Jenny Lind from. New Or
| leans to New York, relates that when
they visited Niagara the golden
throated sonsstress q dropped on her
knees at the brink of the cataract, and,
| with streaming eyes thanked God that
He had vouchsafed to her 50 grand q
sight" Of course this happened before
/ the hackman came around to collect his
re.-Derrick. .-..l ..,
/. Two men, driving an old horse in a
cart, and having barrel in behind the
seat, attempted to turn. 1t was dis
NAL failure. The cart went over, the
horse went down, and the barrel rolled
away, while the two men. were SO
tangled up that they could not extricate
themselves. Nine men reached the
spot simultaneously, and eight of them
rushed to see if the barrel was injured
while the ninth halted midway between
the barrel and struggling victims, and
called out, " Is tha. whisky in the bar
rel?' "No; it's vinegar one
! of the pair. ss'''Tis Ell? Well, / sup
pose we'll have to lift that cart up,
sighed the ninth, as he walked around 1t