The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1879-06-21

+. 6IlIA o.N. "a / Onl
BROADBEIn..'3 NEW YORK LETTER.
New Yor!: is in grief. Tie Learned
Pig is dead dead as Il door nail. No
more will he delight us viii. the mystery
of draw poker. or amaze us with the
dioSyncrisies of scvcn-ur.* Toby. the
legitimate successor pr The great original
and Learned Ben is 10 mere. though |
am happy to state that, though Ills end
was violent and unexpected, it was per
fcctly and entirely Legitimate, Tor he is
now roast pork. having been consumed
in the disastrous fire which destroyed
Runnel1's hil.cH;:. on the Bowery, on
VI onday night.
Mis(artunes neycrcame >in2ly. On Sat
urtlay night Il man blew his brains ont on
the ferry boat while crossing the river to
brooklyn, and when picked up was found
to have a couple OF bananas i'll his pocket.
AZ ''ipi .iti WHY ct - i'''79 ~ INV"
why the deceased had secreted those
bananas about his person. Experts were
called in to testify if it were possible for a
man to stab himself with Il banana, or if
4 case had ever been known where ii had
been used rs 4 deadly weapon. One or two
OF the learned jury suggested that posi-
l,1, Az. ,l.,a,,.,l i,,4,,,tlnl "a ,.h.,l-n ,i,,
self to death before possessing himself Of
the fatal pistol with which he ended his
lie. The suicide mania is on us strong
again, the average being three day, and
the remarkable part of il is that most of
them are unknown.
\ remarkable ease OF drowning occur
rcd here on Monday. y boy fel! over
board from one OF the wilarves. and ti,osr
who were by were unable /" rescue him.
After he had been under water fully
eight minutes. one of the little litc-Saving
hoodlumS. OF which | spoke last week,
came along. and as soon rs he learned
that a boy had been drowned. lie stripped
p.l HIS ihSotu .Ia'htt anu i'ithSt"I ii' Nv
water was deep and cold but after swim
ming round Tor Il long time he came to
the surface, bearing the apparently life
less body of the boy. The best means OF
rcsuscitation We're immediately rcsortcd
to. and. though he had been under water
fully eight minutes. in a couple of hours
H., Ia, Il, 70, hanna I homo
to be able TO record next week that Il big
gold medal has rewarded his gallant little
preserver.
The heated term has brought us the
boon of the public bath. and New York
fifty thousand hoodlumS rejoice thcrcai
with exceeding great Joy. Starting i'll at
the opening hour OF haif-past five i'll the
morning he makes a regular tour of each
of the public baths, winding up only with
nine at night which closes their doors til
next morning. Poor working girls and
laboring people generally profit by them
Portions of three days in the week arc
set apart exclusively for females, and last
wear the record shows that two million
five hundred thousand fee baths were
enjoyed by our working population.
\ very funny ease has set New ork
on broad grin, where Il woman who was
never married to Il man has applied for d
divorce. Some two years ago the relict OF
a defunct German grocer, after due sea
son of mourning. returned Oh a short tril
of pleasure to her Faderland. She was fat
fair and forty, and was supposed to have
a fortune of fifty thousand dollars. At
Frankfort -on-thc- Main She made the ac-
quaintancc of thrifty Prussian, whose
other half had departed to the happy
hunting grounds many years before. Fit:
ty thousand dollars is a big pile of money
i'll Frankfort: SO this entcrpriSing turrineI
went for the widow and her guildcrS. She
never saw him but twice, and on eaci! oc-
casion had but limited opportunity for iii,
spection: but he kept UP sucha continued
fire OF correspondence. even after the
widow had returned to the land of hel
adoption. that in the end she consented
to become his wife. But here came the
hitch: She would not go to Germany and
he would not come to the United States.
But. knowing that delays are dangerous
and that fat widows with big bags OF
huckleberry bush. he dcputed Il friend %
his to come over the sea and, as his req
rescntativc. marry the widow by proxy
The ceremony was performed by Father
Dillon. a Catholic priest. who, according
to the ritual. pronounced her the wife OF
Il man three thousand five hundred miles
away. After a time the widow thought
she might as well look after her new in
vestment. She went to Germany. and in
shutting that critical investigation which
is the special privilege of wife. discov-
cred that her new German relation wore
false teeth on both sides, his head was
covered with capillary freSco which had
been raised on some other fellows plan,
tation: he had plasters all over his back,
two under each armpit. one on his chest
and four on his stomach: his left leg was
made of cork, and to cap the climax ofhis
impcrfectionS. he was "a bully boy with
Il glass eye | was going to say this was
more than the widow bargained for OF
expected. but the truth is. it was Il great
deal less. Unsfeldt Oppenheimer, hel
late dear departed, WAS sound in every
particular. and you can we'll imagine
what Il shock it was to the widow when
she found herself hitched to this attenua-
ted portion of Il man. She declared that
the goods delivered We're in no respect
equal to the sample furnished. and swore
in good round Dutch that = she d be hog
genZwi puthoppenzaled oofever she took
ed dot men for hoosband. She fled back
to the United States. and at once inStitu-
ted proceedings for Il divorce, but. al
though the courts have not yet proHounc-
ed on her case. it is conceded by our best
lawyers that she needs no divorce. from
the fact that she never was married. our
laws not recognizing the validity of !.
marriage performed by proxy, but back
of it stands the church. The priest says
the marriage is bona .fde. legal and bind
ing and when he pronounced them man
and wife. all the civil courts in the world
could never disunite them: but the widow