The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-06-18
FAMILY JAR.

ficC-
They sat at breakfast in their coy
dining room one fine morning in sum
mer, totally infatuated with each 9th
er.
Never such happiness as theirs be-
fore. The felicity of Adam and his
lady before they made the acquaint-
ance of the serpent was not to be
mentioned in the same breath.
They kissed each other between
every cup OF coffee, and embraced
twice-sometimes thrice-duri1g ev-
ery meal. Just now they were speak
Ing Of disagreements. Some friends
of theirs had fallen out, and refused
to fall in again.
1--WE never viii disagree, will We,
Phil. dear 2" asked Mrs. Fanny.
"Disagreel VIII the heavens tall!"
returned Phil
Il sincerely hope not. 1t would
be decidedly disagreeable," laughed
Fanny; "but, If | thought we should
ever quarrel and have harsh thoughts
toward each other, | should be tempt
ed TO terminate my existence"
"My precious Fanny cried Phil,
Swinging up and upsetling the toast
plate on the carpet, Of which be was
perfectly oblivious in his eagerness
to get his arms around Fanny-"my
foolish little darlingl as if we should
ever be SO absurd "a kiss) may | be
drawn aad quartered (snother kiss
if L ever speak D word that shall
cause q tear to Gil the divine eyes Of
nv dearest "a third explosion Fan
NY
80. how happy you make ne, Phil.
[ shall try so hard to be just the faith
full, loving wife you deserve. Now
finish your breakfast, deary. The
toast will be growing cold. And 0,
Phil, did YOU notice Mrs. Smiths new
bonnet last night? | declare it de-
stroyed all my pleasure in the mu-
sic. do wish people who wear such
distastetul boanets would stay at
home from these delightful con
certs !"
$50 do /, Fanny. / noticed the
ugly thing the moment We entered
the hall. Blue flowers and pink rib
bons, and she as dark as 4 Creole 7"
"No, my love; the flowers were
green. Green and blue look SO much
alike by gas-lighs."
Il know they do, but / noticed it
so particularly that l could notbe de-
ceiyed. Blue-especially light blue
looks fearfully on a dark.complex-
toned woman
$50 il does, Phil | quite agree
with you dear. But the flowers were
not blue, they were green. l saw
them at Mrs. Gray's shop before they
were purchased"
"My dearest-Fanny, o~fcourse you
think yourself right, love, but | have
a very good eye for color, and motto
ed these flowers with great attention.
Blue anemones with yellow centers."
"Green hibuscus with white GEN.
tiers, my dear Phil. Very pretty for
q light-skinned woman, bnt horrid for
a brunette"
why, Fanny, how absurd As il
/ could not determine q color when ]
studied it half the evening""
"But it was by gas light, my love.
1t would look altogether different by
daylight. 1t was such q very pale
green"
at was such a pale blue. / re.
member l thought of the sky before o
Storm
"Aud / thought of the sea. 1t was
nearly sea-green."
why, Fanny-ridieulousl 1t was
sky blue"
"How you do contradict me, my
Philemon. It was a very light
green"
"And / say il was blue"
"Do you mean to tell me | lie ~
81 mean to tell you you are mista.
ken"
(Which amounts to the very same
thing"
you make the application, Mrs.
Fanny Hayes"
"Mr. Philemon Hayes!"
Fanny"
IL say it was green, siri"
IL say it was blue-so there p
"You are a wretch, Phil-s real
mean, heartless wretch, Phil-a real
mean. heartless wretch !" and Fanny
pushed back her plate ang-ily.
"And you are an opinionated, self
willed woman J" and Phil, in his agi-
tation, upset the coffee, scalding the
cats back and himself at the same
time.
"The deuce - cried he, rubbing his
red fingers with his handkerchief. II
wish | had never seen q woman"
Whats that, sir 2"
f'Confound the women They're q
curse 10 Tue WOIt0.
"You brutel" cried Mrs. HAYES.
aow thoroughly inesnsed "take
that p aud, Selling the plate of muf.
fms, she took aim at Pills head F,
but, being q woman, her aim was not
so accurate as it might have been,
and the plate went through the win
dow, smashing in the tile of Fitz
james Jones, who was passing, and
the mullins were scattered in wild
confusion about the room.
Phil was indignant. He laid his
hand on the poker.
"0h, strike ~ exclaimed Fanny.
at will only be in place with your
other eondoct. Don't let any notions
of honor restrain you. because you
never had any
Fanny, beEsre you try me too
far"
III go home to pa. that | will.
You iahHmsn monster you'll be
divorced from you this very daF. So
there !" and the platter Of ham made
a%journey after the mullins.
Just at that moment Pills Uncle
John, a shrewd old fellow, appeared
on the scene. He surveyed the group
with an anxious twinkle Of the eve.
Whats the matter, Fanny? Any
thing gone wrong?n be Inquired.
"Gone wrong. Matter enough +, Oh
Uncle John, he's a wretch, and set
out to strike ne with a poker
And she threW a plate Of mullins
and ham at me.
Hes o monster, Uncle John. III