The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1879-02-15
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

that does not hibernate in the winter
They call it Sussntown, Kansas anu was
NAMED after Susan b. Anthony
Hens they say can only lay cggs in daytime DC
cause at night they are roo-terS'
Two of the 1872 veterans died last week III Nc"
York. That leaves buelBp; .
They now call Talmage's church IN nrooA''"
the Tabernacle
The vulpar word ''hssh"'is not heard in Boston,
That article Is alluded to rs culinary sympoSi-
am, I , ,o,.
The sipn over waysldc inn on the Jersey mats
;suNosnuito Tavern" That's where travellers
stop and get bite.
Texas dispatch brings the astonishing news
Of the murder OF negro in that state
A contemporary reports revival III kiSaiiS'
Pass the rood word from mouth to mouth.-nd'-
too, Journal.
An exchange asserts that garlic is good for the
aiptheri, Perhaps il is, but what in the world
ID a remedy for the garlic?
The ground hog came out Of his hole on the
ed. As usual and saw good fat shadow won
der what he's going to do about it.--D'ho" sun
Go back, as he did last year, and get roasted
ont in the next three or four weeks
IThc tables howled beneath the loads, &C. is
the Washington Potts improvement on the or
binary slang of the society reporter
A Chattanooga darkey who was one of a jury
which failed TO convict for want of evidence, eX-
pla;ned TO his brethren that the culprit was IRE
leased on 'spcion."
II ;y;n 10 believed In he
Mr. Joseph Clarke, Of Spirit Lake, Minn past
uinety eight, who Jumps up and cracks his heels
thrice together while in the cir.
Mark Twain writes: French duels are not
such harmless affairs as they have been described
Az they take place in the open air, the contest.
snts are extremely liable to take cold"
The righteous soul of Hayes WAS wrenched
with grief when Macarthur refused to promote
civil service reform by removing lame soldier
from the Now York custom house to make room
for Joe Brsdleys son.
Then this same old Aongseer Machahone
Made use of the state telephone,
And shouted ALAS!
must 20 to Grsssen'
Au reyoir! NOngseer AacAah0nc.
Water is scarce in Sycamore. The people don't
seem TO care much about il except that the wives
who have TO draw it have too much leisure now.
aurora Nctrs.
Sherman asked Macarthur to give friend a
situation in the New York Custom House, on the
ground that the applicant "has written the life
Of President Hayes" Evidently another Especial
ease
Alta church meeting recently man got up
and said he had long wished to speak but his
wife wouldn't let him. His wife WAS dead now,
and having his liberty he proposed to exercise it.
In tive minutes the whole congregation was
weeping over the death of that sanity woman.
The Aurora papers have been publishing
sr,phic accounts OF the scarcity of fuel in Lodi.
oentcnen OF the press, You Ljc.-Lodt Cor. Eigin
LSddn Reckon We do. You DIRE up mighty |
short notice snyhow.-Aurord Ne1s.
I've letter from MY sire,
Baby mino, baby mine;
He's coming home or he's liar, |
Baby mino, baby mine;
He is now chuck full OF wine,
He ia coming DER the Rhine,
He had better hide his sign, |
Baby mine, baby mine.
He had better come in soon,
Baby mine, baby mine;
I've been waiting since high noon,
Baby mine, baby mine;
am waiting with broom,
I will chase him round the room,
while his nose shines through the gloom,
Baby mine, baby mine.
OIL city Derrick.
Revenge IL sometimes gained by making All
inpudent retort AS in the case OF the student
wne said, 10 response to reproof for the low
aess Of his position in the class: "Well profes-
"A I ia,
blanc a. you are"
A New Hampshire man got up to light lamp
and fell dead Our readers will bear witness that
we have always pointed out that this getting up
n night is a mans wife's business Behold the
terrible justification Of our cOurse-Ex.
II will surprise people, says an exchange, to be
told that the tune of WHOM, Emma" 50 popu-
lar jsst now, 10 taken, note for note from All old
church tune; but such i. the case, asa the origi
nal may be found on page "a of n church book
called the True Choir"
Charlotte Perry slRgs:
! saw tonight the man loved
Three little years ago;
] did not think short time
Could change mortal so.
Ne took 10 strong drunk, We presume. 4 steady
beverage of whisky for three little years will
change nam wonderfully, Charlotte.
A rural exchange gives the following dree-
tons TO get relief from corns:
Soak the foot in warm water for \ quarter of
Az hour every night; after each soaking, rub on
the patiently with the finger IA half dozen
drops Of sweet oil; wear around the toe during
the say two thicknesscs Of buckskin, with hole
IN IL 10 receive the corn and continue this treat
Aeat until the corn falls out
The plain English Of which is, keep your feet
clean. But who wouldn't rather have corns than
wash his feet every morning.
Al social party at Ottawa, in Canada, recent
~, guest pretending 10 be II mesmcrst, enter
tanned the company by mesmerizing victim
whom he compelled to make himself ridiculous
for an hour. But when the mcsmerst, surprised
at his success, tried to unmesmcrize the subject
The victim refused % come out Of his trance
kissed every woman in the house, poured liba-
6ol Of ink on the mesmerists shirt front and only
eondescendcd to recover his senses when the ter.