Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-11-22
A SINGULAR PAPERwEIGaT.
ADAPTED FROM THE GERMAN OF ERNST Eek |
STEIN FOR THE STAR.

STEIN FOR THE STAR.
1.-TWO more railway sieepers were stolen from
Cathedral Square last night, sir, and the thieves
were not caught
With this announcement Matchmaker Yocham
SchackwtZ entered the bureau OF his Chief Po-
lice Commissioner Clemens, who was just then
very carefully studying warrant.
"Great heavens." exclaimed the individual
address ed, laying aside the paper and turning to
the watchIIaster, Its enough 10 make me jump
out OF my skin! This thing has been going on
Tor week and not one or the rascals caught
yeti"
Its perfect witchcraft." sighed Schackwttz
"Oh pshaw, witchcraft,' cried the commits
slol er angrily, .'Ass-craft! know betterI Neg
Eg, nce-lack OF energy You don't hold a tight
enough rein over your people, Schaclwitz."
Commissioner Clemens. an old soldier"
"WhO has been through endless campaigns
medals for bravcry-etc etc. I've heard it all a
hundred times, Schackwitz. Big wordsworth
ing behind them! Actions speak louder! Bring
me that railway thief and I'll have some respect
fol your soldierly conduct"
an try my best, SIR stammered the crest
fallen Schackwitz, opening the door 10 CO. A
brief ''Stay' from his ungraciouS chief detained
him. The old officer looked queStioningly at
Glen ems who sat in brown study fof mo-
ment or two and then said decidedly as he
aroSf: II will be in the neighborhood or Catha-
dral Square myself Tonight. Lay your plans
and post your men so that you can catch your
gan this time. If you want me you can mad
me up to nine O'Clock in Cafe Schatt. After that
yOu may expect me at any moment, now LOOK
ou,! And one word more. SchackwitZ-Nod drink
ing, II you please or else Ill"
" Commissioner Clemens." growled honest
1ochem in tone of injured innocence
"Now-now, don't look that way. Schackwitz-
know you. You have already swallowed your
allowance. For Shame-at nine O'Clock in the
morning! This whole room is scented with
snaps
Snaps are good" murmured the crushed
SchackwltZ.
Schackwiz don't make me forget myself!
How often have ! forbidden you 10 speak SO?
CtNnt t.,Il
seen me drink"
sen you drink with peculiar emphasis
on the first word ''neyer, Sir.''
WhereupOn the old officer SQuinted cIlr1OuSIy
under the commissioners desk, where half hid
by bundles OF paper, stood a ciaret bottle.
Wen, them" clustered the chief, who OBJ
served this glance what are you standing
here for, gaping around the room? Forward,
march,"
This conversation took place in the police bu-
reau OF one OF our university cities Just about
that time-in the middle OF the fitties-they
were laying belt railway around the city, con-
Meeting one freight depot with another. In
some places the railroad was to run into the
town. In Cathedral square, where great num-
Der of the wooden sieepers used In building
had been piled up, ready for use by the work.
men, theftS had been going on for q week. Night
after night the SlecperS were taken Off with a
clevernesS and boldness that detied the watch
fulneSs OF the men on duty in that ward.
Morning after morning JoChem SchackwitZ,
the matchmaker, had to bringin the same report,
every time received more lmpatiently by the
commissioner. He had never thought to hear
his thirty-fve year soldier and police service so
Slightingly treated as il had suffered this morn
ing ut the hands OF his chief, and all for this
veXatiOuS theving. There was nothing to do
when he left the bureau but console himself
with some more Snaps, so he started off toward
Il familiar ale-houSe.
Commissioner Clemens was far more disturbed
by the affair than his subordinate. 1t not only
reflected badly upon the efficiency of his police
force, but he keenly felt the sly hits directed at
MN every evening when he joined his whist
party at Cafe Schatt. The thing must be
stopped, and he determined to watch himself
That evening. 'rwOuld be a sacrifice to fOrego
his nightly rubber, but the thieves must be
caught. on the strength of the determination
ne reached down for the claret bottle like
Jochtm, to seek consolation in little drink.
"There'S many a Slip" &C. just as the COM
missioner raised the bottle to his lips a loud
knock sounded at the door. He set the bottle
down. and called "cOme I'M
A strangely tncongruous figure entered;
man with legs like the lower end Of hop poles
long arms, WaST-like body and large head. His
face was Scared with many sword cut but it
bore an expression OF ineXhauStibe good ma
ture, and his lively, twinkling eyes Were dan
cling with fun. His blonde hair was brushed
like cavalier, and his attire was so fauitleSs
that If he did have somewhat of nut-cracker
look, yet 1t must be admitted it was very fine
nut-cracker
Il have the honor of speaking with Commits
sloner Clemens, believe asked the stranger.
AT your service, Sr.H
My name Is Pilchen-Adolar, Baron Won Pill
chen, student at the university; perhaps you
know me?"
Il haven't the HONOR
"No-thought you might. I've been here
twenty sessions, appeasing my thirst for knowl-
!.Yes,' said the commissioner, with sarcastic
smile, thirst for knowledge and physical thlrS
are two very hard things TO appease.'
Just my view, especially the latter. Perhaps
the commissioner tries sometimes to appeaSe
that
The student glanced toward the bottle. which
Clemens hastily pushed to one side, and turned
the conversation by asking the Baron'S errand
Pilchen told the Commissioner how he loved a
lady in that city, how he had won her love, and
was determined TO don the students jacket for
the dressing gown OF a Benedict. Tomorrow
would be the birthday OF the bride-elect, and he
had arranged Serenade to be given that even
u. His GRAND was to notify the commis-
Sisner OF it. Would there be any objection?
a No objection, whatever" was the reply.
Whereupon Baron Won Pilchen, after most e!ab-
crate thanks was about to leave the Office, when
Clemens requested him TO wait a moment
viii you have the Kindness" said he, "to
give me the name and residence OF your sweet
heart, 50 / can notify the police in that ward?"
:. Certainly. Fraulein Emily Schweitzer, No.
Cathedral Square"
Cathedral Square.r cried the commissioner.
excttedly. - I'm very, sorry, Baron, to have to
recall my permission.
"How ?-What ?-recall it? Sir, that's an in
sult,'
.Baron!"
81 give you my lady's name, and Immediately
you take back your word Sir, do you know
that lady my promised wife. What has she got
to do with your most extraordinary conduct?
Sir, | demand satisfaction, and / warn you
I'm man who knows how to take IL, too"
Clemens was not, by nature, amiable and to-
DAY he was sadly out OF temper, but he tried 10
restrain himself as he said: .Ah. don't excite
yourself with your talk about satisfaction. You
cannot frightcn the police with that. They have
always a good reason for what they do"
Then tell me your reason, for I've not the
fainteSt idea OF it,"
No, l viii not. cannot; it wouldn't be
right. Postpone your sercnade until day after
tomorrow, and have no objection
To-day and tomorrow, though, | strictly
forbid ii :"
Il am inconsOlable that my bride was not
more cautious in her selection OF birthday"
answered Pilchen satiricalIy. Certainly, h I'd
the deep wisdom OF our police force been dreamed
OF then-'
Sir" fairly roared the commissioner ..you
are Insulting, and l warn you that such IAN
guage here"
Very WE'LL understand. | have the honor
or Wishing you Il very good morning, cOnmi5-
scner. II has delighted me beyond measure to
make your most amiabie acquaintance
Baron Won Ptlchcn bowed to the fioor fairly
gave Clemens an indeScribable look and de-
parted The commissioner was furious. This
Interview had SO Increased his bad temper that
woe unto the defendant that fell into his hands
That day. PIchen was in no rosy mood either
He had set his heart upon having serenaie
ard have 1t he would, with or without the per-