The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1879-10-18
FUNNYGRAPHS.

THE nu wa of spelling is great saving
of alfate and tim.-NeW York Erpress
In pedestrian matches the disposition
of the gate money depends entirely upon
the gait.
A DEAD secret-What has become of
| A. T. Stewards body pc Cincinnati Ga
zette.
STRANGE that the more money YOU
give an organ-grinder the more cranky he
| becomes.
CANNIBALIsM prevails in Boston,
whose inhabitants eat baked bein's,-
Cincinnati Commercial.
WHERE there's smoke there's some
fire, and very often mighty poor cigar
- Wheeling Sunday Leader.
WHEN card-players disagree, they
should pour Hoyle on the troubled
waters.-PhiIadelphia Bulletin.
WE presume the axletrees of railroad
car wheels are called journals because of
their rapid circulation.-BOst0n Tran
script.
A RECENT obituary notice says: "Mr.
Smith was an estimable citizen. He
died with perfect resignation. He had
recently been married."
WHEN the landlady puts up the price
of board, the fourth floor, back tenant
performs the same operation with bis
watch.-Puck.
JOSH BILLINGS remarks: 81 don't
take any chances. If | wus called upon
to mourn over dead mule, | would
stand in front oy him and do mi weep
ing"
AN exchange says: "Railway sleep.
ers in this country require 10000 acres
of timber a year." This will be news to
Pullman car conductors.-Nea0O Orleans
Picayune.
" Your son, madam, persists in doing
nothing" says the director. "Then,"
replies the woman, by no means discon-
cert1d, "you should give him the prize
for perseverance,"
STRANGE to say, wagon goes best
when its wheels are thoroughly tired
Albany Journal. What felloe told you
that old joke? 1t would have never been
repeated in the Hub.
THE man who can make an even trade
of the garden rake for new snow shovel
about now is level-headed and will some
day be heard of among the great finsn-
ciers of the country.-Detroit Free Press.
THERE is something passing strange
about human nature. If a man had..to
support his family by playing billiards
at 81 day, he'd complain he had to
work awful hard for living
tom Transcript.
SETH GREEN thinks all brook trout
taken under seven inches should be
thrown back. But who ever knew of
brook trout weighing less than half a
pound to be captured.-M Albans AdUer-
tiser.
ON the wrong side of the " bridge"
Master" What is the first step in this
problem?" Pupil John ABB" Mas
ter-"What next7" Pupil" Rub it
out again" (Tableau, during which the
cane is fourished. )-Judy.
A WRITER in London Truth discusses
the queer question "Is Dinner a Mis-
takeT We should say that dinner as a
matter of-course was not a mistake
Albany Journal. That is ht,-alwsys
give dinner its dessert.
"THE melancholy days have come"
beg pardon, " the sawdust of the year"
to the schoolboy who has to tackle the
woodpile when all the rest of the fellows
are playing marbles for keeps"-Ne,O
Hauen Register.
WHAT is the difference between a
dairy maid and stormy petrol? One
skins the milk and the other skins the
water.-NeeO Hdven Register. We don't,
even now, quite see the difference
Boston Post.
"You army chap" as a girl said to her
military DISQUALIFICATION Sunday
Item. "That's where you soldier your
sell" he wrote back when he eloped with
another girL-Oltasra Republican. This
may be trooper haps Hussar for the
girI.-Bo:ton Post.
SNoDKINs (who has not been at New
London, to Holworthy, who has,
4" You saw the race, how was it? Hardly
contested, ehT Holworthy-"Hardly
contested? Yes, very much so. Why,
it was hardly contested at all."-Har-
GARD Lamapoon.
JAMES GORDON BENEFITS income
from the Herald is said to be 81 800 per
day. But for the benefit of those about
embarking in the newspaper business,
we would say that they must not expect
to make more than 81 900 day for the
first year.-AIbany Journal
SOME boys undertook to play base ball
in field where ram was feeding re.
Gently. He butted the short stop
through picket fence and forced all
the rest to make home run. The bog
who was butted through the fence was
the only one who scored, and he carries
the score with him.
LORD CoCKBURN was seated one day
on the hillside of Bonally with Scotch
shepherd, and observing the sheep re-
posing in the coolest situation, he OBJ
served to him, "John, if | were a sheep
| would lie on the other side of the bill"
The shepherd answered, Gay, my lord,
but if We had been sheep ye wad have
had mair sense"
NEW boy at Twelfth ward school
diverted the minds of the other pupils
from their books by munching peanuts,
VIII reupOn the teacher relieved him OF
his edibles and reprimanded him. Next
day the master received note from the
new scholars mother, which oonv yed
this information: If mi Boy kant eat
peanuts ont loud in skule, III edicste