The Louisiana cotton-boll. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], Attakapas, La.) 1872-1883, 1879-10-30
Wales AMI WIIImS,

Iie WluuOW open hHCH A''l'', "'N
will beat in.
A FEMALE writer asks: "What vii
my son bew Why! boy, as 4 matter
Of course, you foolish woman.
WE see a great deal about "spclIing
reform" in u exchanges. We dom
think reform" is very hard to SPELL
N0rriSt0wB HeraM.
ANY father who would so out and
put tar on the top Of his front gate after
dark, must be lost to all sense Of hui
manity and ordinary responsibility.
"YoU are my precious pearl" he said,
as he drew her to his manly breast.
90, john" she sighed, "and you are
my oyster"
Tom MORE, who derived his pedigree
from Noah, explained 1t in this name
"Noah had three sons, Shem, Ham, and
one more"
The attention of Mr.. CNmstock should
be called to the great Snowman who pur-
poses to exhibit a young lady i'll her
beautiful bareback act."- Cincinnati
Commercial.
"BYRoN's last words to his wife," ex-
claimed a lady the other d&', thowlng
down the book, "Hd like to see a MAJ
get the last word now; things have
changed since then, | guess
BEWARE of little thingsI A black
| seed no larger than a pin po:ntW will grow
an onion that will faint the breath
enough to break up a betrothal, ruin a
school, an shatter the good Intentions of
a sewing circle.
"MAMMA," remarked an interesting
infant of four, where do you go when
YOU die?' Gone can't be quite certain,
NAIing. How can mamma tell? She
has never died yet" Yes, but haven't
you studied geography|
"PUT out your tongue a little
further" said the doctor to q fair in
valid, "a little further, if you please"
" Why, doctor, do you think a woman's
tongue has no end?' said the gentle sui
fercr. The doctor made no reply.
A LITTLE girIwas visiting the country,
and for the first time witnessed the OPP
GRAFTON of milking. Watching the pro-
cecding intcntIy for a while, she in
spected the cow infinitely, and then.
launched this poser: Where do they
put it III att"
Lo, the poor printer, sitting on his
stool, dissembleth slyly with his stick
and ruIe-sogers all earnestly DER this
and that, with n eye peeled upon the
hook for phat; or waiting for copy DER
the stone he stoops, and tWO-cm quads
in band, he jefS for dupcs.-SL. Louis
IIn1es-JOmRaL.
A LAWYER addressed the court as
" gentlemen" instead of " your honors."
After he had concluded, a brother of the
bar reminded him of his error. lie inn
mediately arose to apologize, thus:
g May it please the court, in the heat Of
debate, l called your honors gentlemen.
l made a mistake, and beg pardon"
"SToP re moozeekT" shouted Prince
Perrino, rushing franticaIIy through
the hall Of his villa. "Ze partie he is
break up-One of re guests insolt my
But before the ladies could get
their shawls the Prince came running
back, saying: Never mind; you dance
more. Eet is all right-ze gen
teelman say he did not know it vas my
vife.-N Y. Commercial Advertiser.
THE English language is a great, a
wonderful language; but among all its
of adjectives, nouns, inter-
Jectlons and eXClamations, there are none
which will adequately express the sur
prise and establishment of the man who
up stairs in the dark, and, when
he gets to the top raises his foot for the
next stair and finds it non est.-~Hackca-
sack Republican.
ONE thing I have learned since
came up to st. John. And if [ learn
.ust one thing every place l 90, | will
'o0n know more than | can hold. This
S a distressing possibility, but | can't
lelp it. Sometimes my faculty of abb
information is very annoying to I
ne. [ know l ought not to know so t
much. Sometimes [ think | know too |
much. [ feel this most impressiveIy I
When | scramble out of a railroad coach :
It a junction, and know that the train :
wanted to catch has been gone about 4
twenty-five minutes. Frequently know G
hat much, when | wish didn't-Bmr. i
cite. t
JOHN RUsK1N says: "No man ever f
we'd a right life who had not been {,
fastened by a woman's love, strength Il
ned by her courage, and guided by her p
secretion" This is pretty good for a :,
whose wife procured a divorce from r
i'm and married a pre-Raphelite. He
OF c%hastened, poor man, with a ven Ia
a
AN invention lately patented consists u i
t an apparatus by which an ordinary q
reech-loading rife can be temporarily G,
inverted into a repeating arm. The Sc
eVlce holds ten cartridges, and it can p
9 carried by the soldier in his poke. al
car OF fitted on the rife in a moment, Il
nd the ten rounds can be fired as
Ipidly as the same number Of cartridges A
any magazine rifle. If