The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1879-04-01
Sfpst and snopsr,,se.

II
Indiana contains politician who "can
talk the tongue out Of q jewsharp."
A Whitehall women calls her husband
good resolutions, because he is always
broke Whitshau Times. sgs s.
Greeley, Colorado, has signbosrds on
its. principal streets reading: Twenty
one miles to the nearest saloon"
A Hartford beau has Just made the
startling discovery that a girls ribs run
up and down. Ofcourse. it's so. -.
Aipretty girl won musket 10 the lot
terry When they gave it TO her, she
asked: "Dou't they give soldier with
Iitp @
I'VE old maids, REMARKED Mrs. Stib
bins, "l0ye xtsbecause We have no hus-
bands, and cats are almost as treacherous
as men" 3: ~ ,E
Not all ofIlce-seekers dwell in Olio.
There are two hundred applicants for
vacant ward ccllectorship in Toronto,
Canada. 'f3 ffe..g.C1 ! Y7TITa
The mischievous schoolhoy who
places bent pin on the teacher seat is a
hairbinger Of spring. as it were.-Bdlti-
more Herald. 77ea$i'
"There! that explains where my
clothes-line went to !" exclaimed an Iowa
woman, as she found her husband hang.
ing in the stable, ., ,d
An Iowa paper gives thrilling account
OF the effort of a young mao to take home
widow and three swsrms Of bees at the
same time in q wagon
There is no place like home =
unless it is some nice young girls home,
whenthe old folks are at class meeting,
and the match boz is empty ss9ligf
When man does as a kindness We
call him brick, and when he doesus 30
unkindness we want to hit him with one
|-Oa City DERRICK. @'a s'sl
There's one thing, boys, that you must shun
fyou would win your suit;
We know, for we've been there ourselves
It is the old mans boo.t.-Elmira Gazette
aGeorge, dear. don't you think it rath'
er extravagant Of you to eat butter will
that delicious jam2" mo, love, econo-
mical; same piece of bread does fol
both" e. s9a4
/ They do things iu hurry in Texas. A
man who bad lost valuable mare re
Gently received the following dispatch
SNARE here. Come get her. Thief
hung" -
A Missouri editor printed two col.
umn editorial on "The Best Breed ol
Hogs" A contemporary took him to
task for 1evofing 80 much space to his
family affairs.
He put his arm around her waiste
! And swore an awfal swore,
i And as he ierked it of again
I - - HI said, .-~7 s----s'
1--WE felt that Pin-afors.n
4 The best religion is that which viii
make man sit down content to eat corr
bread for supper, knowing at the same
time that neighbor has fat chickens and
no dog in his yard.-Ncw Orleans Plea
! yuns.
i Think OF what an agricultural fair mus,
bein California, with cabbage Eve fee,
| in circumference pumpkins weighing q
hundred pounds, cucdmbersa yard long,
and peaches and pears as large as your
head. 49,
j Simple remedies are frequently the
best for headache. A cup OF sour milk
spread upon thin cloth and applied to
the head will many times give relief. Or,
a mustard plaster on the back OF the neck
will often ease the pain.
| The foolish man foldeth his hands, land
saith: There is no trade, why should |
advertise 2n But the wise man is not so.
He whoopeih it up in the newspapers, and
4 verify he draweth customers from a:ar
| Stillpater Lum6erman. 81
Wishing to pay his friend compli-
ment, gentleman remarked: Il; hear
youtave very industrious wife. ayes
replied the friend, with q melancholy
smile, .sshe's never idle; she's always
finding something for me to do"
"Do you mean to call me a liar Z"
asked ferocious old gentleman. "Well,
no; /; not exactly" temporizes bis young
friend, ..but II l saw you in the company
of Ananias and Sapphira, I should say
you were in the bosom OF your family"
In few short weeks the mistress OF
the house will be climbing up to the top
| OF tables and chairs, and reaching with all
her might to brush the dust from the
ceiling that she lacks just little bit OF
being able to reach. .-Neso Haren Regis.
| ter. ..,
There is.a certain pathos mingled with
the politeness of the little boy who, on
being asked by his Sunday School teach
er who made these everlasting bills by
which we are surrounded, replied: 81
really don't know, sir. l have only liv-
ed in the village about ten days, and hav-
en't yet made any acquaintancee.
A little three year-old in town, who
observed her grandfather writing postal
card, requested that she might be allow
ed to write letter. Upon being asked
if o postal card wouldn't answer her pur.
pose, she replied, "No, sir ! want pa
per and 'velop; don't want my letter tc
60 bareheaded like 'urs"- Waterloo %
server. qies, t,iaE
i A small boy in Be fast, whose deport
ment at school had always ranked l0(
u per cent, came home one day recently
with his standing reduced to sS. "Whal
have you been doing, my sonP" asked
the mother "Been DOING" replied the
young hopeful, "been doing just as
: have all along, only the teacher caugh
me this time" ~
| Before marriage 9, my darling YOU
!, ynice is as musical to me as vesper bel
whose tones fall softly on the perfumed
evening air! Speak again, aud say those
/ words, my beloved for Icould listen tc
!, your voice until the stars are extinguish
ed in everlasting night" After mar
riage-aI've had just enough Of YOU
clanner old woman. and III van don't le