The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1879-12-12
Hotel Clerks indicated.

w AAClA W do y OUI ttSOs Sfl1Q kA ttllu-
father, to a citizen who was deploring
the unreliability of the newspapers
when l was at your age, had the
same fault to find with the papers. /
couldn't believe word that was in 'em.
For instance, every day / read some
screed about hotel clerks stickin' up
their noses at poor but respectable peo-
pie who were forced to stop with them.
At that time | was proprietor of the
Fifth Avenue hotel, and was runnin' it
on the European plan-if you don't see
what you want, ask for 1t, no trouble to
show goods, an that sort of thing: /
didn't believe word of what the
mighty sure mine warn't that way.
cate hotel clerks everywhere, put up
job on the newspapers"
"A smile lit up grandfather's counte-
nance at this stirring of memory's en-
bers; but quickly vanished. and he
went on:
g allus dressed in the height of fash
ion; but borrowed suit of clothes Of
John Jacob Astor. an disguised myself
terror. / had let some friends in the
secret, an they were present to see hotel
clerks Windicated, an stingin' rebuke
administered toa scuTrilous press
At this point grandfather chuckled
audibly.
When all was ready walked into
the Fifth Avenue, carryin an ordinary
lookin' gripsack, an registered as JohE
Crabapple from Squeedunk. Nice day
/ said, as ornamented the register with
my stage-name. Glad to hear it. said
the clerk, as he fixed his necktie at a
lookin' glass in the Office. What time
kin I get a train to HackensackP /
asked for / knowed that particular
clerk was strong on time tables, an /
wanted to fetch him out afere tile in
vited guests, who were sittin' around
takin' it all in. His reply knocked me
clear off'n my pins. He said, never once
taking himself away from the lookin'
glass: See here, my baldheaded patri
arch! you don't see no people sleepin'
around here on benches with their
yalises between their feet, do Youp You.
don't see ne man shown trucks around
loaded with trunks, do your You don't
observe any little girls runnin' around
with apples to sell, do you? No, /
reckon mott This is no railroad depot.
OCCll oil Il yOA sDfbhO A11Cl lOI tb OlCkCG-
agent, q baggage-smasher, or a brake
man, you get left. ! run a hotel, not a
mere railroad [ was as mad as wet
hen; but / waited spell. When he
got his necktie to run parallel with his
moustache, he turned around an asked
me what / was after, an if / would
counter, an carryin' it out to the stable,
vxrh lxra l,ni ff.sc,
no Wrong ruUDp %ay o 0 The a but tas
I had gone into the scheme
for the good of clerks in general. ] nat
urally thought could stand it if they
could. I said would like to have a
room. if it was all the same to him. He
said he would give me room in the
cellar, only he was afeard might sprout
/. Young man. said /, farin' up, i hey
money to pay my way an sleep in the
bridal chamber, an don't propose to
take no lip from any stuck-up hotel
clerk Who's stuck-up hotel clerk p
he, yelled, dancing out of his little den,
an putin up his hands who's stuck
up hotel clerkp' told him was only
it all back; but he wouldn't have it.
III QduCCO IOuu stA uOUOCO up dA
down, an finally hit me terrible blow
on the nose. Take that, you old hay
seed.' he yelled; an that. an tllat, an
that!' An did as he recommended.
When / was beginnin' to get back at
him, he struck the bell an seven porters
seized me an hustled me out on the
street, the clerk bringin' up the rear. as
it were, with his box-toed shoes. On
the sidewalk policeman collared me,
an / was locked up for thirty-six hours
afore | could git a chance to explain
things"
"Then it can hardly be said that you
succeeded in vindicating hotel clerks
against the ISLANDERS of the press
/" Windicate," replied grandfather,
moved to wrath; and he ambled off.
suabbing the door spitefully with his
cane. Cincinnati Enquirer.