West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1879-10-25
Rather Hank

\ capital snake story is told 10y Rather
Hank, OF Arizona Hank has been bitten
-four times. and attributes his continued cN-
istcncc 10 the fact that he always takes
plenty of whiSkcy with him He has kill
ed l.iuO uttlcsuakcS i'm the last two years.
TO say nothing of the hundreds hc had cot
away with before that time. and of which
hc never Kept a rccOd. IL is the old man \
delight 90 haSk i'm the smiles of his Cronics.
and YOU may see him at any time, when hc
Is not out prospecting the nciyhhoriug hills
for gold or silver, sitting i'm Bll Briggs
cabin, comfortably loaded with tauglcfoot
and detailing his adventures lie was i'm
Florence i'm AUGUST on liy spree When
hc gets pretty badly tuddicd hc tells his
biggest yarns. Ii was my good fortune to
hear one of them. Boys, hc asked, 'tdid
YOU scc that Grcaser in town yesterday with
the tarantulas - give 'cm to
him kctchcd 'cm out near the Al
varado mine; they was havin' party like
with a hull hiln' % raltlcrs. | never seed
no such rattlcrs yet. blank was leading
mp 10 his story. One who knew him we'll
at once ordered the hcnzinc for the crowd }
| amt seed no such mttlcrs as them. N lac
continued, setting down his empty glass
There was forty hundred if there was one,
foot In length. And such an all fired hissin'
and a wrigglu' and a bowin' and scrap
in TO onc'nothcr as polite as YOU please,
and Mr. Snake, crnvlin' around Mrs.
Snake, and the young snakes tumhlin
over their daddics and mammicS tin YOU
couldn't rest. What did doi reckon
| kinder didn't do unthin but keep shady.
But a blasted jack rabbit run across the
bush just behind me, an /, hciu' kind %
hungry like, let him have IT, The noisc %
the gun goin' of atartcd the snakes, and
they saw me quicker N n second, an Jess
stood ON their hind legs and roarcd To get
at the old man. There war pile % rocks
a hcmmin me in on all sides 'Ccpt ono.
had Jest come over them rocks sldiu'
down, but couldn't get back. There was
only one way ont, and that was right
through the snakes And there was forty
hundred OF EN- as sure as. They saw
they had me, and had already divided me
W like, an / standin' there lookin' at 'cm
WIN my eyes stCliin' out and tho sweat u
pourin of me like rain, an they KEEP n
comm am IA opcnin their jaws an liclin'
o their chops as much as to say. 'Olc man
yer our meat. Wen, yanllcd rock an
driv il into 'cm, an before they goi over
their surprise I'd drunk all the bug Juice
in my Cantccn an made break. More n
five hundred of 'cm must a struck me IA |
| skinned through the gantlot. But had IA
par o buckslIin brccchcs over my butter
nuts, an the fools couldn't bite through.
SO hoofcd it over the pcrmric for morc'n
half mile, cos | didn't d'ur TO stop "A sec
end or they would got loose an struck me
on the hand. AS it was, they keep
strngin' out behind me like SO many tails
But y'u couldn't sec 'cm for the dust. You
hear me l"
Hanks listeners were setting in open
mouthcd wonder taking i'm the story IA he
spun it out, and they were eagerly awaiting
the climax. Sagcbrush Charlie spoke mp /:
Look ycrc, Hank, you say there was livo
hundred snakes hitchcd on toyour brilchcsi'
eyes, five hundred nary one less.
"Wcll, how much you rcckoncd each
crittcr would nycragc-about three pounds,
! rcckOnin
"W-a-l-l!"
'Why, on'y this you war packin' fifteen
! hundred pounds o snakes. Perhaps you
will take "a tumble to yourself and kinder
explain how you could pack so many
critters"
"Look here, Charlie; you're IA pretty
squar kind Of a boy, and pooty good on iig
/ B'lb anu dllluultllChlu, an lIluL kllO .
| truck, an ] don't mind sayin' 10 you that
| fifteen hundred pounds o. snakes tackled
onto man when hc is scar't-whcn he is
! right down scar't-dont weigh mOrcn a
ordinary shotgun. You might stop TO
weigh EN-. didn't have no time"
Charlie was cfTcctually sllcnced.
"Wall as | was saying, boys" Hank
! continued, 'the varmints KEEP swishin'
in the air an / goin' forty miles minute.
/ seed there was only one way 20 get rid of
! en- an yankcd out my knife an com
mcnced chopin their tails OF close up to
their ears. BY the time ] rived at MOss's
ranch they had al been cut away, but their
heads was still stickin' by the fangs to my
buckskins. Boys, it war lively cantcr
| while il lasted. -
''Iow many heads was there slickin'
onto your bucl,sltins, llankl' Charlie asked.
'Lem me see lem me see Hank an
| swcrcd. 81 dcclar forpit Rcub, told
| you the other day how many snakes heads
/ there was "a hangin' to my buckskus that
/ day. DO you rckect'
81 reckon it wasfOur hundred and ninety
| scvcn'
''Four- hundred and -nincty-scvcn.
/ Yes, yes ! said five hundred, didn't ],
| boysf ! take it back, IL was four hundred
/ and nincty-sovcu; but what in the name Of
/ common sense three snakes in such outfit r.
Then the glasses were filed up again.