Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-04-20
garden, when they will be found excel
lent helPs in bringing things to the sur

1dCCs
"When do you intend 10 go beoh,
Mike2" asked one exile of another. s1f
live till doye, and God knows wheth-
er I will or not, I intend to visit ould
Ireland once more before I lave this
country"
Keokuk Constitution: mamma, is
Sahara pastry cooke" asked little Con-
cert street girl this morning. Why do
you ask such question, my child?" "Be-
cause I hear them talk SO much at school
about Sahara's desert"
If you think no one cares for you in
this cold world, just tell your neighbors
that you propose to keep hens. You
will be surprised to see what an immedi-
ate interest they will manifest in you.
-Stizzaoater Lalmbermaan.
A country clergyman was good deal
astonished one day by the iollity of the
mourners at the "breakfast' Of funeral,
and was giavely told, in explanation,
"Bless you, sir, they're not laughing
only assembling their grief"
A retired milkman sent his son to trav-
ell, telling him to take notes and write
home what he saw. He crossed Span
ish river dry shod, and wrote: sit would
be impossible to carry on the milk busi-
ness in this part of the country
Although poet may speak in glowing
terms of laying the exequial coronet Of
hope on the platitudinal immobility of
the nightingale, yet, at the same time,
he is not totally blind to the silent virtues
of the fve-cent mammoth sandwich.
She leaned her fair, blonde head fond
~ upon his shoulder, and after she had
felt in his pocket to see it he had new
silk handkerchief, she whispered: "Will
you love me always?" eyes, always"
sWhat. always?" "Well- almost always"
Of course no woman ever did such a
thing, but supposing now for the sake
OF argument, as it we're, that woman
was to go to church for the purpose of
showing of her new sacque, would it be
sac-religious, so to speak? -Boston Zrav-
eXer.
is question under discussion by med
ical association in Vermont. We have
very little medical knowledge, but we
should think when you can't stand up
any longer is about the proper time
Haaokeye.
Two darkics were Wanting their cour-
age. Il isn't feared O. nothin', I isn't"
said one. "Den, Sam, I reckon you isn't
feared to loan me a dollah?" mo,
Julius, I isn't feared to loan you dollah,
but does hate to part wild an ole fren'
forebber.''
Not many miles from Oil City once
stood wayside inn, up to which one
day drove two thirsty travellers. "Have
you license tor selling liquor here?"
they asked. mo, sir; amt got no
license, but we've got jist the best kind
o'~hisky."- City Derrick.
"Do you know what you are catinga"
whispered one of the boarders, as he
watched his neighbor wrestling with a
piece of leathery pie. "Alas," sighed
the martyr, II know only too we'll. It's
but a little faded four And he passed
his plate for another slice.-Boston Post.
| Two Ohio Nimrods, camped in the
woods Of Michigan to hunt game, fol-
lowed bear track in the snow for three
days before discovering that bruin was
and-looker from Chicago who walked
with his toes turned in. They fred a
shot at him, but he got away.-Free
Press.
| A member of the rhetoric class in a
certain college had just finished his
defamation when the professor said !:
"Mr.--, do you suppose general
would address his soldiers in the manner
you spoke that piece2" eyes, sir, do"
was the reply, "if he was half scared to
DEATH"
| A raw German who had been sum-
moned for jury desired to be relieved,
giving this reason: "Schuuge, can
mich goot Inglish onderstan'." Looking
over the crowded bar, the judge replied !:
sob, you can serve. You won't have to
understand good English; you wont hear
any such here"
II Agentleman addressed another gentle.
man, whom he doesn't know, at party
'sThis affair is awfully stupid, let's "a
out and take drink" 81 would like te
do it," was the reply, "but can't leave
very WELL" tWhy mott" 'Why, yor
see am the one that is giving the
party
A Buffalo minister has been preaching
upon ''The people we KICK The people
we kick are those smaller than ourselves
: though the Buffalo clergyman may occa
sionally lift robust chrome peddler of
J. the front stoop when he knows his wifi,
is Immediately in his rear with broom
a --Norr;sto,on Herald:
A sergeant of zouaves had at the bat
e tie Of Orleans his thigh smashed by
K fragment of shell. swell, my poor fel
low," said his captain, who visited hiu
+ in the hospital, 'syou must find it prett,
a lonesome work, being laid up here.
ooh, no, captain, not at ALL" was the II
, ply. II suffer good deal, and tina
y y makes the time slip BY"
II don't deny that we have bugs, " said
a Leadvilie landlord; "but you will not fin
,e them the same wild Western animal
they have at the other hotels in tow
II NV bugs never ask more than half of th
at bed, and no guest has ever compliance
y that they kicked, snored, talked in thei
:. sleep or spit on the carpet. sent Gle.
a ~ to Boston for this breed of bugs"
rk There appeared to be some irresistibl
force endeavoring to impede his progre
an as he would shakily advance a step
at two and then execute retrograde NOV
to ment, bringing up at the starting poin
He was undoubtedly as drunk as lor,
,s+ and the ground appeared to roll beneat
~ ~; him like unto the ocean waves. All
~ once he was seen to reel, endeavor
80 catch himself, and then sink heavily in
heap Oh the pavement, and when Il
81 bystanders ran to his assistance he sal,
g "'Atsh sheverest shock fan earthqua]
u ever sperienshed, n I've bin ON ish Goa
oh;nco ,S0 Mufech Il auooro 1ono