Litchfield enquirer., 1879-09-18
CLIPPINGS.

The patho duty isu't very we'll beaten Rroad stories generally proceed fron,-narr | minds
 Suspicious-A sausage-maker, advertises wares as ''dog cheap.'' The stars on -Brigadier's shoulder straps are nothing but glitteringr &g5eneralities, 1 IE Mir. Talmage will 4eturn in October, and then the Theatrical seFson will be fully open ed.
 The chromo that comes with aD package fuf tea is less work of art than is ti4e stuff called tea.
 George Elliot says E.t.'Wonlen .don'tllove men for their goodness. .' This is lucky, if true. sfr~G G ger q. %:n cEfT
 For Vlctims.-A photographer announces that, besides other accessories, he has a thew front gate just the thing for a lovers pict- | ure' -s.. :. r--x;. When there is more hand shaking than usu- al on the streets you may be sure some politi- cal movement is on foot. F
 It is strange that it wearies mans legs so much less to stand in front of a bar, that to stand by work beach. . ..-. '.lnt1 Speaking of Senator Bayard's boom, the Chicago Tribune chidingly remarks that little states like Delaware should be seen and not heard.
 Much chaity which begins at home is. too feeble to get out door, and much that begins out doors never gets into the home circle.
 Some people will commit crime with one foot in the grave. A woman one hundred years old is reported as learning to play an ac- cordeon up in Vermont
 According to the poet Mark Antony said: ''pam dying, Egypt, dying" This is the on- ly intimaion we have that Marks moustache was yellow.
 Slrewd Americans, when travelling abroad register from Ohio, no matter. what State they come from, to insure being treated with dis tinction.
 A Pennsylvania boy made gun of a sec ton of gas pipe. He was a very ingenious little fellew, aud but for his untmely deaih might have accomplished perpetual motion some day.
 The three proudest moments of mans life, between the cradle and the grave, are, when he gets his first pair of red top boots, when the girls first call him "Mister," and when the doctor tells him it's boy. s
 
 didn't get into the salad and the rocks were soft and smooth, and there were no hornets, and one hadn't to go three quarters ot mile for water, what tame affair a picnic would be-
 ''If Lincoln had not died," exclaimed po- litcal orator, ''what would he have been to- day ?" "Alive," sadly ventured a timid-look- ing man on back seat, and the tide of elo- QUence was mOmentarilV checked
 "Young man, says a quaint writer, "if you are to be married your future wife is now living, therefore pray for her. "4And while you are about it don't forget to pray for her future husband; he needs praying for as much as she does.
 At trial of a liquor case, last week, at Vii sted, the irate dealer broke out in court and thus addressed the court: Judge, there's no use'of your trying to stop liquor selling. Just as long as there is cents profit onSa' 10 cent drink rum will be sold and 10 oneean stopit. "
 He had just landed from three years whaling voyage, and, overcome by his joyful reception found himself before the police court. "Your honor," he sad, pantively, ''Im simple sailor, lowly born" Thirty days for tine drunk, six months for Pinafore, was the ringing sentence. The boy who substitutes living for dead hornet in the collection of near sighted ento- mologist, and then asks the man of science to show him where tue insects sting is located should be held responsible for any irreligious sentiments the victim may advance.
 ''Pve a new thing-a big thing!' he said ''pm going 10 get up a nlatrlmanial agency 1"
 ''The scheme is venerable," sad al cDld- hearted bystander. B isH
 Not on my plan '" 'the Connecticut plan call, was his proud reply: Ali goods not satisfactory cheerfully and promptly exchang
 Oh, what u ing is love! It cometh from above, And liglitotl, like q dove On some Ngs But some it never hits B ss
 Except to give them fits, And take away their wits Oh, hum
 Can it be possible my Algernon no longer loves his little brown eyes? Can it be tha: her caresses have become irksome to him a., last ?' said heart-brokeu young pull back tt. her "steddy compapy," the other evening, as l the latter seemed inclined to remove her cling ing form from his breast ''Your AIgernon is all right" said the youth, with an uneasy squlrm, 'bnt if you don't let up minute. Matilda, the spiral of my stud will come out through my backbone, sure. f.~s s-. ~e~F h | The man who attempted to ruin Edison when the phonograph was exhibited, by sur reptitously substituting for the foil registering | the notes of a celebrated prma donna a foil l registering the vocal efforts of cat suspended by the tail, had the satisfaction of hearing the l enlightened New York audience including several musical critics, go into raptures over correct reproduction of the diva's singing while the only man who found fault was leather dealer from Boston.
 To tell the truth, we are surprised that the women folks show the amount of common sense they do. Young man, supposing you were told, say twenty times day, how bright your eyes are, what magnificent tresses arc yours. how enchanting your society is, how incest, sweetest, best you are; how long, think you, before you would develop into the assies kind of jackass always provided you were not one at the start2
 MISCELLANEOUS. - A physician at Bloomington, Ind, is on trial for giving fatal dose of morphine to a patient. The in indictment charges man. | slanultar ''. .--s - -." - 4.. -