The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1879-05-28
should invite young lady to make the

|, ! SNAS
party complete.
lit would be much pleasanter for
your friend to meet young lady" she
said.
But then our dining-room will be 50
crowded with four at the table that
Ottilia will never be able to wait upon
u.s." said I.
Emily looked shocked. "Ottilian'
she exclaimed; Il hope you don't ex-
pect Ottilia to wait on the table when
strangers are present! Why, wouldn't
suggest such thing to her"
"Then what is the use of ofkeeping her?"
I asked.
"Oh, Charles, you never have any
sympathy for that poor thing! We can
hire a small boy to wait. The grocer
get eaS him lvc Cheap" pS So said my o WIFE '
own way but butt what shall we have for din din
ner Jack is terribly particular about his
dinner, l can tell you, and I think I'll
order something from Delmonico's for
this time"
"Oh, no, indeed! you mustn't do any
thing of the kind" said Emily, decided
ly. "I'm Just going to show you now
the inestimable value of Professor
Stoopann's instructions, and l know
you'll be proud ofyour dinner. Leave it
all to me, Charlie"
but what are you going to give us?"
I insisted. Emily made answer. conf
IDENTIFY:
LUST wait and see, I tell you. This
much you shall know, and no more.
You're to have 'Potage St. Beuve,
| 81, MI
I'm going to give you your favorite
lamb chops with tomato sauce, for one
course. Now, don't ask any more ques-
TONS"
When I brought Jack homo the next
afternoon Emily met us with such
cordial welcome that could see he was
pleased. The grocer's boy was in at
tendance, looking very we'll. the table
was prettily decorated with fruits and
flowers, and felt intensely hospitable as
I took my seat, and Emily began to dis
pense the soup. The only draw back was
that the young lady whom she had asked
had been Obliged to decline at the last
moment, but us there was barely room
for three people in our dining-room, I
was not so much disappointed at this as
was my wife. However, she and Jack
appeared to be getting on so well that |
didn't think he regretted our intended
guest either.
AS I was saying. the soup was on the
table, but with my first view of it I be-
gan to have fearful misgivings. 1t was
an almost colorless fluid, with slice of
lemon, q sprig of parsley, and several
cloves floating in each plate, and it tasted
like hot water well salted. My resolu-
ton was taken in an instant. made up
my mind that would eat that soup, and
I did, but Jack never attempted second
spoonful.
"NNhat is this, my dear?" I asked with
great cheerfulness, pretending to be en-
irely at my ease, as the next course
Emily smiled sweetly as she answered,
"That is Russian fish pie, prepared after
the same recipe used in the emperor's
kitchen"
"Let us see, then, whether our tastes
agree with the emperor'S," I said, face
tiously, turning to Jack, but he didn't
seem disposed to talk much, fancied.
Truth compels me to say that, after the
most careful dissection of that fish-pie, I
did not discover any fish found an
onion, slice of hard boiled egg, some
more parsley, and finally scrap Of meat,
but that was all. 1 was getting percep-
tibly nervous now. when new course
relieved me. "Here comes something at
last" said to myself, as dish of chops,
each with a (ringed white paper wrapped
daintily about the bone, and accom-
panied by tomato sauce, made its appear
ance. My dropping spirits revived.
"Chops are always chops" was my next
reflection. Alas! I didn't know Profes-
sor Stoopann.
The moment I attacked my chop I
| found it fallacy. 1t was composed of
, something, I could not tell what, care
fully shaped, and then tied fast to-
nothing more or less than a toothbrush
handle, beautifully scraped and polished.
This was too much. I looked at
Jack. I saw the expression Of dismay
on his face. l glanced across at Emily,
serenely unconscious of my feelings; and
yielding to an uncomfortable impulse, /
ordered the boy in voice of thunder to
remove that dish.
As to the rest of that dinner I can only
say it was worthy of the beginning.
Even what appeared to be magnificent
TAFT or pudding collapsed like a soap
bubble at the first touch of the spoon.
and left nothing but little sweetened
froth behind, too scanty to be divided.
l was not at all surprised when Jack
pleaded an engagement, and FASTENED
away, without waiting to smoke cigar
| with me. He was going to dine, knew.
Having seen him down stairs, l re-
turned to my wife, who was both as
tonished and indignant at my somewhat
| warmly expressed opinions about the
dinner.
THAT soup!" she exclaimed; "you
didn't like that soup? Why, it's one of
| Professor Stoopann's own inventions.
He taught us to make it of the water in
which the potatoes have been boiled,
and it is very nourishing as well as
economical. The professor has lived on
it for years."
And that fish-pie," I interrupted,
"what was that made of?-for there
was no fish there
Emily looked disappointed. "Why,
how did you find that out so soon?" size
asked; "for thought the deception was
perfect. Professor Stoopann said no one
could tell the difference. That's won
derful. But since you've guessed so
much I'll tell you the rest. Thatsfsl-
pie was made entirely of some scrap of
cold roast beef, and is even more eco
nomical than the soup"
"And how about those chops?. Can
you tell me, my dear, what they were
made of, or why you placed such an un-
palatable joke on our table?" was my
next question.
But just here Emily burst into tears
"I-I-think you're-too-cruel," she
sobbed. after I'd taken such pains
and burned my face and my poo-or fin
gers-and tried all the professors best
dishesw.just to be scolded its too
but, Emily, don't you see" I be-
gan. She interrupted me.
Il cut all those handles off our old
brushes. and polished them all myself
with sand-paper, and tied them on, and
everything, and then you find fault. 1t
is cruel! Co-oo-oom
"Still, my dear, it is a pity that you
had not chosen some other occasion for
that display of ingenuity" said I, not
yet vanquished. You must have
noticed that Jack ate nothing"
ooh. Charles, you are too unkind
Didn't he praise that puff pudding? and
wasn't it reilly lovely? and all made
out of one egg and two spoonfuls of
sugar! Wasn't that success, should
like to know9 But you are monster of
ingratitude. Oo-oo-oom
Let me draw veil over this scene.