River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-08-28
Sense and Nonsense.

\ Pinafore company has struck Mani.
toba, and the inhabitants are flying to the
mountains.
say, my little son, where docs the
nght-hand road gol' Don't know, sir
'taln't been nowhere since we lived
here
\ wealthy Californian warts Sarah
Bernhardt to stand as a weather strip for
one OF the doors of his palace. = Whee!tn9
Leadsr
YES, Agnes, I'm going to have a
cream -coIOred summer sill provided pa
doesn't veto the appropriation ma has
passed.
A dead snake can be brought 70 life
with pint Of whisky. You drink the
whisky and then look at the snake,-Bos-
ton PSt
Tramps would he more numerous than
ever were it not for the sclf-sacrifcing
women of the land who marry and sup
port su many men.
\ Chic 20 mans nightmare turned out
To be the shadow of his wife, foot on the
bedroom wall, instead Of an unearthly
monster with five horns.
II should have no objection to my
wife's reigning," said an alfectionate hus-
band, IF it u ere not for the fact that
when she reIgns she is apt to storm also. .
There vas an old Yankee named Weston,
Who u ayed curious tricks a the rest on,
He went for that belt
Against Saxon and Crit,
And now they all say he's the best 'un
Two lawyers. while bathing at Santa
Cruz the other day, were G ased out OF
the water by shark This IS the most
fragrant case of want Of professional cour-
tesy nnw ON record.
\ clergyman solemnized marriage
the other day at Wes Waterville. at the
close of which he gave ont the hymn,
.sWhat shall the harvest he!' An audi
bic smile passed around the guests.
Such as have virtue always in their
mouth and neglect it in practice, are like
harp which emits SOUND pleasing
to others. while its own body is wholly
insensibIe to the music produced.
\ warm sunny day;a shirt ''waxen and
white as a lily;a corpulcnt putting man.
These three things combined are what
throw into a Mecca Of delight and beatI-
tude the Monaghan knight Of the washtub.
theodore, observed soiicItous young
mother to her husband, - think | will
NOT let little George attend Sunday
school any more find the poor boy is
quite ieverish tonight and his feet are all
blistered."
A Tonic.-smaliest boy: Better give
in at once, cos I'm bound 10 hex yer"
Small boy: How dyer snow yer a-goin
to lick me-" Smaller boy: Cos I'm
stronger than you: / chew tobacker and
you don't
"Somebody is Waiting Tor Me was
vailed out by the man who al been to
the lodge. lost his night key, and could
see the shadow OF his witr's mothers
night capped lead ON the curtain of G
sitting-rOom.
The colored Baptists of NewYork ac-
knowledge that Cox, the murderer. was Il
member of that chusch, hut, adds one
of the deacons, ''he allus sEet his eyes
when de money box passed, an we didn't
90 much on him
Lord North, no was not fond of scien-
tifiC music being asked to subscribe to a
series of concerts, refused. But your
lordshp's brother, the bishop of Win
chester, subscrlbes." urged the applicant.
III ! were as deaf as he / would sub
scribe too" was the reply.
Walter do you think that the stars
are inhablted2 she said, glancng at him
with an expression that showed what con
fdence she bad in his superior wisdom.
CLARA he replied, "your father only al
10 5 me $40 week, and you can't ex-
pect any but high priced clerk TO an
swer that question.
Swmburno sings: i hid my head in q
nest of roses" Did you, Algernon; did
vou3 That was wise in you to hide il
among the roses. Now, If YOU al GOV.
cred it up in a nest of cabbages, wher
YOU came to pick il out again you could
not have told, tor the life of you, which
head was yours. Stick to the roses, old
boy, every time.
At legal investigation of liquo
seizure the Judge asked an unwilling "'it
ness: What was in the barrel that yOl
had 2" The reply was well, your honor
it was marked whisky on one end o
the barrel and Pat Dufey on the othe
eBd, 20 that | can say whether 1t wa
| whisky or Pat Dutfey was in the barrel
beng as am on my oath.