Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1879-10-09
TABLE ErIeUErTE.
Rules That Should Always BE
Observed. :,

Numerous tpPllcatfo11S' having Deen'
made asking us to fix a set of )rules
for. table etiquette, we accordingly
respond with pleasure. as ?
I. tits proper to place your nap
kin SO that the gravy may not fall on
your shirt front. When you are
through you can ram it down between
Your shirts, and, it nobody is hooking,
you win q napkin. 9.---.
= 2, On no consideration wipe your
nose on your napkin: ThejtRbie cloth
was made Cor this purpose 'orr,N
3. 1t is not considered proper to
place your butter on one side of the
plate. If smaH plates are not pro-.
vided, wipe your knife off on your
head. What is left will do for hair
oil. -:
A. Eat only with yom fork. Never
place your knife in your mouth. We
knew man who onte cut his mouth
around to where he parted his hair by
violating this rule.
5. Never pour your tea into the
saucer. IsspGls it, and, besides,
somebody may steal it when you're
not looking. Well-made tea issa very
Ienervating; drink, but most women
make water, and very weak water at
that, and is additionally weakened
! by pouring it into the saucer.
6. If you. get piece of hot meat
in your mouth, do not spit 1t in your
plate. Take it in your hand and slide
it down your neighbor's back. If he
| objects, punch him in the nose.
I. In sitting down Oh your chair
make believe somebody has placed a
pin on, it. Then you can jump, yell
and kick half the dishes Off the table.
This produces very fine etfect--you
are pitied, and can eat your dinner in
peace, as all the children are general
ly spanked and sent to bed for put
ting the pin where it wasn't.
8. Don't mistake the contents OF
the finger-glasses for lemonades un-
less you first put sugar in It.
o. If you get q mouthfrl of hot tea
squirt it through your teeth, and then
tell the company that that's the way
that they sprinkle clothes in the Chi.
nese laundries. They will then think
that you have traveled-and probably
wish that you may do some more.
, 10. If it is warm, ask the prettiest
young lady at the table if she sweats
/ Unilef no circumstances use the wore
"perspire." Hshe biushes, ten hei
her face looks1ike afaw ham Thi:
will make the rest of the people laugh
and you will save a dentists bill. ~,
IL. If. anybody gets off joke
say: That's as pll as the butter
This will save the expense of'a, por
fter.
II. Ask the .Eld-headed man o
the company ifh he was spun. on hi
head for drinkg when he was little
la the absence of a bald headed maj
turn the attention Of ali present Il
the toothless old woman by telling he
that you,can get her a JOB in th
5 post-oflice cumming stamps, or IN
/ drug store .bitipg jholes In horou
! plasters.
13. your head itches, put on
troubled look, and scratch your hea
p tbohghrfnlly: : If Fapybodyr asks y9
' whabyou are thinking of,S say BUGS
: I'm capital letters). This is sue t
e create a laugh:
: ii. When yeu-pass plate file
G with meat, gravy and potatoes, dro
it just as the other party reaches ft
d it. Then apologize by saying yo
c thought they chad their grip on 1T.
Very funny effect.
g Readers who cal efully follow thes
n rules will gain the respect of their fe
e low-men, and die happy--!thoue
t. perhaps very young. u. 4 y