American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1879-05-17
WIT AND WISDOM.

Do cats sing church music3 Purr-
chants they do. ~ e4
THERE is a material difference be-
tween silk dress and a calico gown.
THE nimble-footed mule is used as
the light fantastic tow for a canal boat.
PARAsULs will be worn just high
enough this season to rake out the eye
of the tall man.
YOUNG man, you should be mighty
careful whom you kiss. There's danger
of cacthing ere-sip a-lass.
THE success of q church choir singer
Is, after all, largely matter OF chants,
says the Boston Advertiser.
cit may boz says Hefelspin, " it
may be that man and his wife are one,
but notice that when / come to pay
the weekly board-bill the landlord don't
think sou
ADAM never smoked. Eve said she
wasn't going to have the lace curtains
spoilsd by the nasty old smoke. and he
didn't dare to go o 1t to the wood shed
for fear he'd set something ARE.
GIRL Ito shopkeeper)-" Can ye gle
me change of sixpenceP" Shopkeep-
er Ito vanishing girl with change)-
"The sixpence, my girl-the six
pence!" Girl--"My mither says she'll
gle it to you i the morning."
THIS is the time of the year when a
man pays SO for fish pole, 80 for
tackle, ST for bait and 90 for incidental
expenses, for the fun Of catching
string of squalid, emaciatsd catfish,
that would fetch so cents on the market.
ST. Louis 7fmes-JournGl.
If some kind of an amendment could
be added to the marriage service which
would make it mandatory upon the part
of the bride to arise in the morning and
kindle the fire, there would be fewer old
bachelors humping about the country.
--WaterIoo Observer.
A SHORT time ago a Danbury man
had $40 stolen from him. The thief
was subsequently struck with remorse,
and sent back 500, with note to the
effect that as soon as he received more
remorse he would send back the rest
Danbury Nesos.
TINED midnight. She-"Hark! what
is thatp" He-"H'sh! it is the-hic-
cat!" She" No, it isn't the cat. 1t
is Mr.. Pinaphor coming home drunk as
usual" He" Yes, know, that is
hic-so." Tableau. -Norristoso's Her
aid.
TIME was when an historical paint
ing, or beautiful spring landscape was
considered the acme of art. The Chef
d'euure nowadays comprises stork
balancing himself on one leg under the
outrageous shade of three swamp cat
tails that stand forth on the canvas like
q sore thumb done up in brown velvet
rag.--Neso Haven Register.
ONE of our young city ladies who has
lately returned home from abroad, after
finishing her education (French of
course included) was at the G. w. K
station, the other day, seeing her ''gov-
ernor" off on a pleasure tour, and as
the train was leaving the station, called
out as a final adieu: 6. Reservoir, papa,
reservoir!'' Thinking of the water
works, perhaps.-Lorsdon advertiser.
A YOUNG man with the blush of coun-
try life on his cheeks sold out his pro-
duce on the market yesterday and en-
tered shoe-store and said ne wanted
a pair of shoes for his wife. "What
numberP" asked the clerk. The young
husband scratched his head, looked very
much embarrassed, and finally said:
"Well, I've been married eight months,
but this shoe business stumps me. l
don't hardly believe she wears 'levens,
and don't think she can get into fives.
guess if we split the difference We'll hit
her pretty close.'' He was given pair
of Fights, and after squirting along
the soles, he observed: 81 guess them'l
do; she's awful proud, and l know she'll
squeeze into 'em for all she's worth. "
Detroit Free Press.