Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1879-10-28
LITTLE FOLKS.

THE boy who walks on stills has lofty
views of life.
THE small boy now crawls pinto the
attic and takes a feeling look at his
sled.
THE new analysis OF watermelon
shows as follows: water, three per
cent. small boy, ninety.seven per
cent.
The boy with gold watch wants to
know what time it is twice as often as
does the boy with the silver chronome-
ter.
"MAMMA," said little Jewess of s,
"yhen people die does God take their
souls and make babies out OF them 7"
EXPERIMENTATION is the thief OF q
good time" was the lament OF the
boy who got up too late to take the ex-
cursion train.
Mother livery sweetly) to children
who have Just had a distribution OF
candy: "What do children say when
they get candy ?" Chorus "More :"
Distracted mother: "If you children
make such noise ] shall 90 out of my
mind" GO on, mother, I'll mind the
Young 'uns while you're gone"
JENNIE, what makes you such bad
girl ?" "Well, mamma, God sent you
lust the best children He could find,
and if they don't suit you, | can't help
it,"
THE trousers pocket OF the small boy
are a fruitful cause OF darns on the part
of his mother and of darns-and not ex-
actly that, either-on the part OF the
Orchradist.
DISTURBED parent and his five-year
old: "See here, sonny, what did your
mother tell you ?' "She told me not to
Jump" "What make you jump then ?"
81 didn't hear her"
JoHNNIE's view: Father, addressing
his little boy, who has brought home a
bad mark from school, "Now, Johnnie,
what shall do with this stick ?" John
ME "Why, 90 for walk, papa"
A LITTLE fellow, on going for the first
time to church where the pews were
very high, was asked on coming out
what he did i'm the church, when he re-
piled: 81 went into cupboard and took
a seat on shelf. :"
TEACHER, to boy who had to be cor
rected frequently: "Can you tell me
where the Blue Ridge is ?" Boy rub
bling his shoulder mo; but | can tell
YOU where the black -and-blue ridge is"
He is treated more rediculausly than
ever now.
PROFESSOR as there any way to OBJ
tain good fruit without grating or bud
ding?" Student: eyes, sir" Profess
sor "Please explain the process. "
Student: ."Watch your chance, and
when the farmer goes to dinner crawl
over into the orchard and steal it,"
IT seems as if the old folks never
wonld learn to understand boy. They
can't seem to comprehend why he
should be so unanimous in regard to
getting up at four o'clock in the morn
ing to take part in fishing excursion,
while it requires the expenditure of
three tuns of energy to arouse him at I
o'clock when there is a cord of wood to
pile up. Even politicians and other
scientists can't explain this.
A LITTLE siX-year old in this city had
been listening TO the remarks of a legal
minded uncle in regard to the prospect
of an indicted party getting clear by
continuance OF his case from time to
time. Shortly after the little fellow got
into scrape which secured for him a
promise from his mother of q little dose
of slipper at an early period. He anx-
iously sought the uncle for legal advice
on the subject, who could only sympa-
thize with him, but with no prospect OF
relief. "Uncle," said he, don't you
think you could get mother to continue
the case If we could get continuance
| think / could get Off" He got off.
Col. JOHN w. STEELE, Agent of the