The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1879-03-07
NUMBER I.
TELLING TRTTHS.
BY ELI PERKINS, FOR A. p. BURBASK, THE
ELOCUTIOSTST.

OMAHA, Mass, July Al, 1932.-While
strolling around Oshkosh yesterday [ was
surprised to meet two very distinguished
and truthful individuals. Surprised, say,
because I supposed these gentlemen were
thousands of miles away. These men were
Mark Twain, sometimes called the Great
Truthteller Of the Sierras, and 2. Y. Mas
by, generally known as the Great Interna-
tional Truthteller at Large from the State
of Ohio. Now, thought Mark Twain was
doing missionary work in New Jersey, and
had been informed that Mr.. Sasby had
gone to labor in the temperance field in
Italy with Mr.. Murphy. Notwithstanding
my surprise at seeing them, I was glad to
have n chance to sit at their feet and hear
the truth defended.
After we had talked spell Mr.. Twain
laid down his cigar and told US about a
fast horse he once owned in Virginia City.
Said he
"Gentlemen, this horse of mine was
tough bitted, and he went so fast that I
had to guide him by electricity-had to
have wire lines and keep battery in the
wagon all the time in order to stop him.
"Why didn't you stop him by holleTing
whoa ?'' I asked.
stop him by hOllering whoa - exclaim-
ed Mr.. Twain. "Why, I could not boiler
loud enough to make that horse hear me.
He travelled so fast that no sound ever
reached him from behind He went faster
than the sOund, sir. Ho}ler whoa and
he'd be in the next town before the sound
of your voice could reach the dash board
Travel fast?' l should say he could
Why once started from Virginia City for
Meadow Creek right in front Of one of the
most dreadful rain-storms we ever had on
the Pacific coast. Wind and rain? Why
the wind blew eighty miles an hour and
the rain fell in sheets. [ drove right be-
fore the storm fer three hours-just on the
edge OF that hurricane and rain for forty
miles,
"Didu't you get drenched?n
''Drenched? No. sir What did keep
that fast horse for? Why, tell you,
drove right in front Of that rain Storm. I
could lean forward and le! the sun shine on
me, or lean backward and feel rain and
catch hailstones. When the hurricane
Stacked up the horse Stacked mp, too. and
when it blew faster just said 'G-Ik 2 to
the horse and touched the battery, and
away We went. Now 1 don't want to lie
about my horse, Mr.. Perkins, and I don't
ask you to believe what I say, but 7 tell
you truthfully shat when I got TO Meadow
Creek my linen duster was dry rs powder.
Not q drop Of rain en- the wagon seat eth
er, the wagon box was level full Of hail
stones and water, or L m a., a.
'LooI1 here, gentlemen" interrupted
Mr. Nasby; speaking of the truth, did
you ever heag Of me striking that man in
Toledo ?''
We said we had nos.
Gwen, SIR, it vas this way There was
a man thcre-one of those worldly skepti-
cal fellows, who questioned my veracity
one day He said ne had doubts about the
t-utbfulness of one Of my crossroads incl
dents He didn't say it publicly, but pri-
vately. Pm sorry for the sake Of his wife
and family now that ne said it at all-and
sorry for the man, too, because he wasn' {
i5 would have been different I say 1
didn't want to strike this man, because 5
2 bad habit to get into-this making a hU-
man chaos ont Of fellow man. But he
questioned my veraci,y. and the earthquake
came. I struck him once-just once.
remember he was putting down a carpet at
the time and had his mouth full of carpet
i
carpet tacils in a mans mouth, when he
questions your veracity, can he? I never
do. ! simply struck the blow
"Did it hurt the man much ?' 1 asked.
"Idon't think is did. 1t was too sudden
The bystandars said if was going to strike
a second blow they wanted to move out Of
the State. Now, I don't want you to be
lisve me, aud I don't expect you WILL bu
10 tell you the honest truth. eTr. Perkins,
squashed that mar right down into a doc
mat, and bis own wife who was tackinl
down one edge Of the carpet at the time
came right along and took him FOR a gutt
percha rug, and actually tackled him dow,
in front of the door. Poor woman, sht
/ never knew she was tacking down her owl
husband What became OF the tacks i
his mouth? you ask. Wen, the next da
the boys pulled them out Of the bottoms @
his overshOes, and
"Gentlemen - I interrupted, ''it doe
me good to hear such truths. l beiiey
every Eord you say, aud feel that ougL
to exchange truths with You. Nos, di
You ever hear how I went to prayer. .meet
ing at New London, Conn, in = rain
storm p
They said they had not.
''Weu, gentlemen, I said, zone dag
started for the New London prayer-mee
ing on horseback. When got about bal
way there, there came mp a fearful storm
The wind blew hurricane, the rain fell I
torrents, the lightning CLEANED throug
the sky, and I went and cTouchcd dow
behind a large barn. But pretty soon Ii
lightning struck the barn, knocked it in,
a thousand splinters, and sent my hou
whirling over iaso neishboriug coyl
patch"
''Did it kill you, 8Ir. Pellsins?" aske
. Mr. Twain, the tears rolling down Ia
a cheeks.
, ''1Jo, i5 didn't kill me- said, ''but
e was a good deal discouraged"
g "Wen, what did you Go, Mr.. Perkins
n ''What did do9 Wen, gentlemen,
n tell tho honest Connecticut truth, I We
o right ont into the pasture, tool, of 4
1t coat, bumped my bare back, and to-
" eleven Gins of lightning right or nv ba