The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-03-27
COUSIN SILLY DILL4RD.
[By H0mtRcn'C Jones.1

Of fifty years ago. We give it now
for the benefit of the junior members
Of the bar and tho respectable class
Of law students who will soon bo
called to sift evidence in tho courts
of our States.
Sceno-A Court of Justice in
North Carolina.
A boardless disciple of Thcmis
arises, and thus addresses the court.
"AIay it please your worships, and
you, gentlemen of the jury, since it
has been my fortune good or bad
l will not say to exercise myself in
legal disquisitions, it has never
before befallen me to be obliged to
prosecute SO direfu], marked and
malicious an ASSAULT more willfull
violent, dangerous battery, and
finally q moro diabolical breach of
tho peace has seldom been your
duty to pass upon, one so shocking
to benevolent feeling, as this which
took place ut Capt. Rices in this
county. But you will hear from tho
witness"
The witnesses being sworn, two
or three were examined and depos~
ed. One said that he had heard the
noiso and did not soc the fight
another that he saw tAe row but
didn't know who struck first and q
third that he was very drunk and
couldn't say much about The scrim-
magc.
Lawyer Chops-I am very sorry,
gentlemen, to have occupied your
time with the stupidity of tho wit
nesses examined. 1t arises, GENTLE
men, altogether from misapprehen~
sion on my part Had l known, as
I now do, that l had witness in
attendance who was well acquainted
with all tho circumstances of the
case, AMI was able to make himself
clearly understood by the court and
jury, I should not SO long have
trespassed on your time and
patience. Come forward, Mr. Harris,
and be sworn. ...y '.l
Enthusiastically y'-giving the
lawyer Il knowing wink, and at the
same lime clearing his throat. Capt.
Biles, he gin a treat, and Cousin
Sally billiard, she came over to our
house and axed me if my wife
moutn't go. I told Cousin Sally
my wife was poorly. being rs how
she had touch of the rheumatics in
the hip, and the big swamp was in
the road, and the big swamp was
Zip, for there had been heap of
rain lately, but howsomever, as it
was she, Cousin Sally billiard, my
wife she mout go. Well, Cousin
Sally billiard then asked me if Nose
ho moutn't go; told Cousin Sally
billiard that Nose was foreman OF
the crop, and the crop was smartly
in the grass, but somehowever, as it
was she, Cousin Sally Dillard, Moso
he mout go.
Chops-In the namc of common
sense, Mr.. Harris, what do you mean
by this rigmarole? DO say what
you know about the riot.
Witness-Capt. Rice he gin
treat, and Cousin Sally billiard she
came over to our house and axed me
if my wife sho mout go. I told
Cousin Sally Dillard-
Chops-Stop, sir, if you please
we don't want to hear anything
about Cousin Sally billiard and
your wife-tell lis about tho fight.
Witness-Well, 1 will, sir, if you
will lot me.
Chops--Well, sir, go on.
Witness-Woll, Capt. Rice, he gin
treat and Cousin Sally Dillard she
came over to my house and axed me
if my wife she MOUNT go
Chops-Therc it is a gain wit
ness, witness, please to stop.
Witness--~Well, sir, what do you
want? 5.
Chops-We want to know about the
fight, and you must not proceed in
this impertinent story. Do you
know anything about the matter
before the court j.?
Witness 10 be sure I do.
Chops-Woll. you go on and tell
it and nothing else.
Witness-Wcll, Capt. Rice, he
gin q troat-
Chops This is intol cradle. May
it please the Court, L move that this
witness be committed for contempt.
He seems to be trifling with the
Court. iN3 jf-.''
Court-Witness, you ore now
before court Of fjustice; unless you
behave yourself In a more becoming
~ n =, ,, n, 1,o,, ,u;1l In o<o+ 10 ;,;1 . M