Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1879-02-08
JOHN PHOENIX AND JEFF
DAVIS.
HO@ Frank PierCe's Secretary of War
Couldn't Take a Joke.


Jeroms's Letter to indianapolis Journal
But there's one thing about him, -
said Milford, that l don't believe
has V been published-a practical
joke, OF course When Frank Pierce
was President, jeff Davis, then secre-
tary of war, issued a general invitation
to officers of the army who were skill
ful draughtsmen to send in sugges-
tlons for the new uniform which it had
been decided to adopt. One such
invitation was sent to each officer.
Lieutenant Derby was very ready with
his pen-a really ingenious artist. In
reply he sent to the war department a
design for a new uniform-or rather a
peculiar addition to the old uniform
the amendment consisting merely of
a ring attached to the seat of the
trousers of each private soldier. Each
officer was TO carry, instead of a sword,
a long pole, with a hook on the end
like a shepherds crook. The pole
and the ring enabled officers to Keep
privates from running away in battle.
Fugitiyes could easily be caught by it
and brought back. Stragglers could
be kept in line. Moreover the ring
would be very useful in the cavalry
service to fasten soldiers to the saddle
to prevent them from falling off; and
in the artillery service the rings were
to be used for draught purposes in the
absence of mules.
These specifications we're aecompa-
MED by the most grotesque pictures.
representing officers hauling back cow
ardly recruits by the serviceable ring.
cavalry securely fastened to the top of
their steeds by the same device. and
artillerymen harnessed to cannon.
drawing them through narrow defles
or up an ACTIVITY inaccessible to
mules, by cables attached to their pos
terror staples.
On another sheet of bristol board
was an illustration in gaudy colors of
Derby's Rotary Mule Howitzer,"
accompanied by the following descrip-
ton Upon the back of a young
and vigilant mule strap a mountain
hOwitzer, the muzzle pointing toward
the tail, a similar piece of ordnance
is fastened with iron bands under Che
animals abdomen, the muzzle aimed
between his forelegs to the front.
There are four gunners-two to each
piece-and a persuader,' as he is
called, whose business it is to per-
suade the mule to stand firm and
not retreat by s%tufing him with
oats after each discharge with a tin
sausage-stuffer. When Indians or
other legitimate game appear in view
the mule is by a crank movement on
the tail limbered to the front. 1t
don't make any difference which way
the mule faces land here is where nv
patent comes in) one gun is always
pointing toward the front. At the
command FIRE. the top howitzer is
discharged. The recoil throws the
mule on his back, bringing the second
gun into position. This is discarged.
which suddenly throws the mule to
his feet again, when the gunners swab
out the mules throat with hay and
reload" The accompanying illustra-
tions lin brown, red, blue and gold
and still on the file in the war depart
nent) represented the rotary mule in
seven different attitudes, looking con
tented and happy all the time.
This was felt TO be outrageous au-
dacity on the part of a subaltern. The
clerks in the war department laughed
at the funny letter immoderately, but
their superiors looked serious. Jeffer-
son Davis, the head of the department.
was terribly indignant, and he resolved
to defend his wounded dignity.
Charges and specifications were drawn
up against Lieutenant Derby, and the
officers were actually named for his
eourt-martial when William II. Marcy.
secretary of state, a man of more sense
and self-poise, said to the irate secre-
tary: Now, see here, General Davis.
don't do it. This Derby has undoubt-
eddy a superhuous development of
humOr. But he is shrewd and ingen-
l0us, and really a fine draughtsman.
He has valuable qualities. You car
organize a court that can convict him.
but you will be the butt of ridicule on
account Of it all your life. Better file
the suggestions Of the crook and ring
and the lively rotary mule and say
nothing. And he did. Derby died
lof suicide) a few years afterward, but
| think he saw the inside Of an insane
asylum FIRST.