Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-09-18
FACTS AND FANCIES.

ton and coke to lawyers.
Heaven lies about us in our infancy,
SAYS tho poet. Yes, and our nelghpors
lie about us when we grow up.
A man up at Niagara writing home
SAYS, We are now in the very teeth OF
the rapids They were probably falls
teeth.
Japan must be poor place for the
laboring man, for we are constantly
hearing Of the lacquer work IN that
country.
Demonstration is the thief of good
time was the lament OF the small BOY
who got up too late to take the excur
sion train.
A faoetious old lady. describing the
rambling sermons of her minister. said:
III the text had the smallpox, his SCR
mons would never catch it.
An Irishman who had on very ragged
coat was asked of what stuff it was made.
'Bedad, don't know; I think the most
Of it is made OF fresh air.
A preacher must be in some respects
like Cmsar's wife. There must be no
sort of doubt about the character OF a
man who pulpits over the people.
City swell (pompously). MY stay in
the country will be entirely dependent
on the weather. Country landlord--!
suppose you're photographer, then
Use cold water habitually for the face
and hands; when warm water is lndls-
pensable, finish off with dash of cold
water to prevent the skin from chap
ping.
After all what's the use OF erecting
monuments to perpetuate peoples mem
cries. If man hasn't done enough to
cause him to be remembered without a
monument he isn't worth the expense.
Water boils at about 100 degrees in
stead OF 2l2 at Leadville, COL, which
renders longer boiling necessity in
cooking, as well as more watchlulness
in regard to the evaporation of the
water.
Mrs. Theodore Meyer, Of Cleveland,
on Thursday last gave birth to four
children, three boys aud girl. The
latter died soon after coming into the
world, but the boys are alive and doing
we'll, as is the mother.
A New Yorker passing beneath the
elevated railway, felt something warm at
his back, and investigation disclosed q
red hot coal, which had been dropped
from passing locomotive and lodged
between his cJat and vest.
Little words are the sweetest to hear;
little charities fly furtherest and stay
longest on the wing; little lakes are the
stiliest; llttIe hearts the fulles! little
farms the best titled; little books the
most read; and little songs the dearest
loved.
One of party of six boys who are
spending their vacation, sent the follow
ing expressive letter: we dug a wood
chuck out of his hole; it was skunk;
We slept in the barn that night. That
boy will make good reporter. he
states facts in the feWest words.
The New Haven Journal says that the
Rev. Mr.. Ross, pastor of the Webster.
street Baptist church, that city, received
by letter, last Sunday, into his church,
a man 1OS years of age. He has been a
member of church for eighty years,
and has children of the age of eighty
years.
What the sewing circle is to the
women the barber shop is to the men. -
Rome Sentinel. Not quite precisely.
The woman goes to the sewing circle
when her suit is becoming, and the man
10 the barber shop when he's becoming
hirsute. The difference, however, is
not very great.
A Lancaster, Pa, chap, before start
ing for the seashore fishing grounds
was joked by some of his companions
about his skill at fishing. He accord
ingly joked back by sending them huge
box, weighing 400 pounds, which cost
sc. 25 expressage and contained sharb
nearly nine feet long.
A Washington young lady of tho ma
ture age of Blk, after the story OF the
creation aud the fall had been related,
and the young lady hai been meditatine
for some time on the moral OF 1t, sud
denly broke out with: 'Aunty, aitel
Alan aud Eve disooeyod God, why
.iin t He kill cm and beg in over aga'nE
Will the angels come down for me
with Ii chariot aud horses when l dief
asked little boy Of his Sunday schoo!
teacher. Il guess SO, if you are real
good boy said the teacher. The little
fellow's eyes spanked with anticipation
as he eagerly exclaimed, Aud, OIL dc
you think they'll lot me sit on the front
scat and driver
Washington, the French minister Of
foreign affairs, has perfect John Bull
face, and is, in fact. English by BIRTH
He wears mutton chop whiskers, is
stoutly built, of medium height, and
has rather an ordinary physiognomy.
His wife is an Am erican, and he is the
brother in-law OF Engine Schuyler, the
American who exposed the Bulgarian
atrocities.
A skeptical young collegian confront.
ed an old Quaker with the statement
that he did not believe in the Bible.
The Quaker said: Does thee believe
in France2' Yes; for though l have
not seen it I have seen 9th ers that have;
besides, there is plenty of corroborative
proof that such country does exist.
Then thee will not believe in anything
thee or others have not seen9' No; to
be sure 1 wont'2' Did tAee ever see
thine own brainsp' NO. Ever see
any body that did?' No Does thou
believe thee has any?' The young man
| Jaft