Connecticut western news., 1879-07-30
WIT AND WISDOM.

The longest march on recoro-tne march of improvement
 The baby next door to the Syracuse Journal is the bell of the bawl.
 A bad little boy calls himself Com- pass, because he is boxed so often.
 There is wide difference between printing" a kiss and publishing it.
 It is good to dwell in amity, though it is amity hard thing to do with some people.
 Be constant in what is good, but beware of being obstinate in anything that is evil.
 Sin produces fear, fear leads to bondage, and bondage makes all our duties irksome.
 There are three things which no- body can do .without-money, buttons and the baker.
 Only what we have wrought into our characters during life can we take away with us.
 When the human mind gets down to hub deep into a rut of thinking, it is hard to lift it out.
 Happiness can be built on virtue alone, and must of necessity have truth for it's foundation.
 If the sun strikes you on the right cheek say nothing about it-in other words keep shady.
 Talents are best matured in soli- tude; character is best formed in the stormy pillows of the world.
 What is to be done for man who has no mind of his own? His wife should give him piece of hers.
 The great beauty of being engaged to girl in a boarding-house is that you don't have to carry night-key.
 Have the courage to be ignorant of few things in order to avoid the calam- ity of being ignorant of all things.
 -Therway to treat lie, big or little, is to braL t. The way to treat liar, great or small, is to expose him.
 Puck has ascertained that the man who fluids pocketbook with cash in 1t doesn't look in paper for three weeks.
 It is ftrange that it wearies mans legs so much less to stand in front of bar than it does to stand by work bench.
 The same man who finds the weather too warm for church sits under the blazing canvas ,of circus without murmur.
 How is it that trees can put on new dress without opening their trunks Because they leave out their summer clothing.
 -"I say, my little son, where does the right hand road goT "Dont know, sir 'taint been nowhere since we lived here."
 Levy, according to the New Orleans Picayu,ae, always carries two comets ; one to play on and oneto be seized by the Sheriff.
 A great many men look at them selves through the little end of the worlds opera glass, while the world looks at them through the big end.
 -One of the disagreeable features about being near-sighted is that man is in danger of taking his wife for an- other woman, and being polite to her.
 It is estimated that the people ot the United States consume three thou sand barrels of liver pills year, and yet there is occasionally man left to reach his end by railroad collision.
 -" Melancholy sight, MT. Spicer," said a prohibitory friend, as an indlvld- ual heavily loaded with beer lurched against him. "Yes," said the inter rogated, "he's more'n full"
 The Prince of Wales owes some- thing like $3, 900, 900, but if everything goes we'll his sons will reduce the debt considerably. They are now getting 371 cents per day for their services in the navy.
 Some men, says the Detroit Free Press, are captivated by woman's laugh, just as some men predict pleas ant day, because the sun shines out clear for 8 moment. They forget the chance for squalls.
 The grape crop of Ohio will not pan out frst-class this year, but don't you imagine, says the Detroit Free Press, that thls will make the least diff ference with the number of gallons of wine demanded. Grapes are not neces- sary to wine.
 E-They were soon to be married. He had vague ideas of house furnishing, and he asked her what kind of carpets he should get for the parlor. She an | swered. "Axminister." And then he warmly protested that it was none of the minister's business.
 Tt is sad, but nevertheless true, that at Hartford recently, shortly before the curtcin went up for Pinafore," the leader of the orchestra gave the Admiral @ black eye for being impertinent to Little Buttercup. Served him right. "And so say his" etc.
 An old money-lender refused to lend a musician small sum, saying, "You'rt not a safe man. There's too mucf smusic of the future in your business. '' "What do you mean by thatp" asked the musician. CT mean that you make too many promissory notes," was the re ply.