Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-03-28
Hutnar.

GIeI.
When man hasn't red he gets
blue.
A marble haul-stealing tomb.
stone.
Dressmakers and butchers are ever
welteIing IN gore.
Idaho has Boise City to offset the
town of 0negirlia in Dakota Territory.
The viceroy of India should remem-
Der that the best laid plans Afghan
agley.
The man who sighed for the wings Of
dove probably did not know that legs
were much better eating.
John Bull, looking toward America;
How long, 0 Cattle line, will you con-
tinue to abuse our patienceg
The king of Siam takes his ease in
the midst of bodyguard of 400 female
warriors. No doubt this is what is
termed Staircase.
The tramp who entered our sanctum
the other day and said he was live
lord, became lie hoored, indeed, be-
fore he eft Yonkers Gazette.
"What is the name of your cat, sir y
inquired visitor. "His name was
William" said the host, until he had
fits, and since then we have called him
Fitz-Williamp
An apothecary, in decorating for
Washington's birthday, placed a jar of
calumus root in the show window and
labeled it Sweet flag of my country"
but no one saw the point.
FIRST Swell-"Look here Fred. you
shouldn't wear so many big diamonds.
Its awful bad form" Second Swell
BLESS yonr soul, dear boy, they amt
real. Funny Folks.
In putting head on pin there is
knack, while in putting head on II
man there is knock.
A Mr.. Wagonseller, of Philadelphia,
recently swallowed his false teeth en-
masse. That's certainly novel method
ofgetting the stomach teeth.
Adam was the only man ever mar
ried on his wedding Eve.-Aha Cali
fornia.
We are funny people; we wear
socks over bare feet, shoes over socks,
and cloth over-shoes.
An umbrella that keeps Lent the year
round is altogether too religious for us.
-Meridea Recorder.
We personally know of three devot-
ed five dollar bills which have been cell
ebrating lent for quite long WHILE
Wheeling Leader.
Let us all he merry; brighter days
are in store for us. A Philadelphia
organ-grinder has been arrest ed
PHILADELPHIA Chronicle Herald.
Mother is all the time telling me not
to bolt my food" said the small boy,
land now she has gone and bolted up
the cupboard that has got all the COM
pany victuals. "-Nev Haren Register.
The class in geography was on exhibit
ton, when the question came" Who
discovered the Sandwich Islands,"
Every hand was instantly raised, fol-
lowed by chorus of Joseph Cook"
-Bostoa, Transcript
II is suspected that, were Poe still
alive, he would render his most cele-
brated poem so that the refrain should
read: ''Said the raven, Never-that is,
hardly ever-more."
A little fellow of years, at the South
End, told one of his older brothers that
he is 'tgoing TO always tell the truth,
and then the boys won't have to go to
school on his birthday. Boston Journal.
After the recent wholesale flogging of
boys at the NIinot School, Neponset, q
boy who was one Of the victims was
questioned MS to the severity of the pun
ishment. "Dld he whip any ofthem so as
to leave them black and blue?" was
asked. no" replied the boy, "but he
made some Of them yell-oh!"
When Lord B died, parson met
an old man who was one of his most in
innate friends. He was pale, confused,
and awe-stricken. Every one was try
ing to console him, but in vain. His
loss" he exclaimed, "does not affect me
so much as his horrible ingratitude.
Would you believe L? he died without
leaving me anything in his WILL who
have dined with him at his own house
three times week for thirty years."
A writer on household adornment
says: lone can easily transform long
and uninteresting parlor into series of
small artistic rooms, full of sentiment.
Gather there easy chairs, foot stools,
lounges strewn with pillows, workstands,
writing tables, jardinieres, bits Ct buhl
furniture, screens, etc" Oh, yes; these
trifes cost comparatively nothing. And
you might also bring up the wood horse
and saw, and the washing machine, and
fill in with two or three rosewood
pianos, and strew few coal sleeves over
the floor, and hang the wash boiler and
several iron pots on the walls-and you
will be surprised at the efiect.-Nor1is-
totcn Herald.