The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1879-02-20

| uhIIlhRes.
! The English rule in hanging a man
is to let him drop six feet and take his
chances. The chances would be better
il he didn't drop at all.
There is believed to be only one
thing slower than molasses in January,
and that is q lady making room Tor an
other lady in a street car.
The will OF the majority should al,
ways rule, but there are occasions when
it is pretty hard to get near enough to
dog-fght to tell who is a majority.
Gen. Spinnerssys that the climate of
Florida cures his rheumatism. Now, if
he could only find something that would
take the cramp out OF his signature
-" Somebody's coming when the dew
drops fall, is sal to be very beauti-
ful song. Somebody's coming when the
note falls due, IL not 40 enchanting.
hen hawk is a ben hawk
When you know ii is a she
But when you know it Is a male,
Tommy hawk Il ne.
81 Louis Tiaes-joarpqL
If a bank IA GER would look at a
burglar with bag of tools as severely a.
he does at the honest man with a small
check, many robberies might be preven-
ted.
In Kentucky when mule gets %
lazy that ne won't work mere than nine
or ten hours a day, they tim his esrs
down and sell him to some Chicago mau
for carriage horse.
Huxley believes thee was one time
when men walked on ali ours, and ne
doesn't mean that it was when they
were lacking down carpets or settingout
onions. Huxley never Jokes.
If you want 10 emigrste to cheap
place go t. Siberia In that country a
horse is worth live dollars, a chicken
four cents, and you can sise the parlor
window and shoot aii IN bears you want.
&c. The dsry-msid pen lively MIXED TIE goat,
And poutiDg she paused to inurter--
" 1 wish you bru's, vod ~ouId turn to milk"
Ard ;he animal turned 20 butt her.
Minneapolis Tribune
Nothing will reassures man quicker
when he meets suspicious>lOoking
stranger in q lonely street, aDd sees him
reaching tor his pistol pocket, than 20 sec
him pull cut piece Of pug tobzvc5 N
stead.
The little one made besuti al Sd
swer without knowing it. WHAT! go
such homely man as paps ?" said 10
mother in fun. "On, but papa is
/. real pretty in MS heart" WAS the
reply.
A great many years ago poor
bsegar ex olainet his ragged appearance
BY observing: have no money to
buy new clothing, snd mend | can't"
Aud his clsss have been called mendi-
csnt- ever since.
"Oilssnd pomades ars no longer g.ed
on the hair. This is sensible edict OF
fashion. Here's ter y,ung man can
help yourg lady to say nothing in par
ticulsr on Sunday evening without hav-
ing his vest .0iled.
Gee Fie, NOlie," quoih ReUoen to Mary;lEI
IT'S a pity We can't agree'
g Fie Mollie. il good sir" she answered.
But you'll fad you can't Mollie-Gs Inc -
-CHjeogO Tribune
"A recent investigation reveals the
fact that some women in New York re-
eeive but tbirty-fve cents a dozen for
making shirts. Hood was right. IL
isn't linen we're wearing out, but ot>r
peoples lives. Having accertainsd this
shameful fact, of course the investigation
will stop there.
What kind OF testimony do you
call that ?" sad the county attorney TO
one OF the witnesses before the grand
Jury, who was inclined to be little
evasive. "Jackson's Best" was the
prompt reply. The lawyers who were in
the habit of using tobacco saw the point
and smiled all over their faces.
The venerable wife OF a celebrated
physician one day, casting her eyes out
of the window, observed her husband in
the funeral procession of one OF his pa
tients, at which she exclaimed: al
do wish my husband would keep away
from such professions 1t appears so
much like a tailor carrying home his
work"
A lady taking tea at small party,
being very fond OF hot rolls, was asked to
have another. Really, | cannot" she
modestly replied: 81 don't know how
many have eaten already" al do"
UNEXPECTEDLY cried juvenile upstsrt,
whose mother had allowed him seat at
the table You've eaten eight: I've
been countin'W
d. Madame G. calls at a friends houser
and her feet being damp, gays to her
friend: My dear, will you let your
maid bring me pair OF your slippers ?''
"My love-" replies her friend-there
were several people in the psrlor-" DO
you think my slippers will fit you? 20
ooh, l think 50, my darling, if you will
tell her to put a cork sole inside of
them p- French paper.
1t never rains in Peru, and man in
that rsinless climate never knows what
it is to get up Sunday morning and
spend five hours pumping out his cellar.
ruhan he L. inst wild tn M Il. Ill