River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-07-31
Sense and Nonsense.

Who--or what--was Timothy Tius2
Why did Julius Cesar and who was she.
anyhow Whsre did Hamilton Fish,
One of the problems which puzzles a
musician is how to strike a bee-fat with
out getting Sung by its demisemiquaver
"Oh, look% Louis. Fred just sent me
this sweet lttlc puppy. Wasn't he kindQ'
Yes, dear bnt us Just lise him."
The ant and the seed-tick have sent out
their Typographical engineers, with in
struchons to select eligible sites for PIC
mics.
Eve was the frs. and we reckon the
only woman that did not gather up Eer
dress in both hands and yell at the sight
of a snake
A flute sclSist climbing up to the at
titudes of hts instrument, was heard to
remark: THAT musIc's too high flutin
for me-
1t is one ii the physiological mysteries
why boy's hands will blister SO much
sooner on a hoe handle than they will on
base ball bat
Uprightpess does not always prove
goodness. rhsre are upright pianos that
| are only fir for kindling wood Cam
bridge Pres We have seen downright
pianos tortured until tired papa wished
they were kindling wood
"Professor,' said pert sophomore,
lis there any danger Of disturbing the
magnetic currents If examine that com
pass too closely2" by no means
promptly responded the professor, "brass
mas no effect whatever upon them.'
A divine, preaching IN Il morning TO
his congregation from the ~xt we are
the children Of the devil,n and in the
afternoon from the text "Children obey
your parruts, evidently wanted the
children IL follow in the footsteps of their
sires.
| Ii is stafrd that a well-bnown English
sporting noblcman last year paid a bill
of $1,000 for medical attendance upon
his pack bounds. The Albany Eoentag
journal thinks he must have thrown con
siderable Rhysic to the dogs.
A pretty gigl told her beau that she
was mind reader. ''You don't say :"
he exclaimed. "Can you read what's in
my mindi,' Yes" she sand; "you have
it in your MiRd to ask me to be your
wife, but you are just a little scared at
the idea
who's that frizly, black haired wo-
man talking TO my husband on the otto
man." "She's Mrs. CGdogan Smyth."
Indeed She's good at fiattering REQ
Pile, ] should say and knows how to lay
it on Pretty thick !" cot you infer that
from her attitude and expression" so,
dear, no! from my husbands"
A NEW way Of arranging alternate
black and white founces is TO graduate
them from wide white and narrow black
1Ounces to.narrow black ones, and gowns
which have the vest and sleeves COM
posed of rutilcs arranged in this way, and
curtain draperics drawn back to show
flounces disposed in the same manner,
are said to have a ray-like effect.
A NOVELTY this summer known as the
Spanish long shawl ,, really a scarf, three
yards long ard about three tourths of a
yard deep, made of either black or white
Spanish lace 1t is to be worn as a
couture at The watering places. The
middle OF the scarf is thrown over the
head, one long end is caught up on one
arm and the other hangs to the foot of
the dress.
New cuffs and collars have the entire
outside OF solid colored bingham, either
pink, buff, or light blue, while the inside
is Of white linen, with the rolled-over
English points at the throat. wrought in
rows OF fine embroidery that spread out
ward like a fan. This embroidery Is the
color of the bingham. The cuffs have a
single embroidered point turned over ON
the colOred surface.
Europe promises for all time TO come
profitable mart for our surplus apples.
Near the close of the present season prices
ranged from twenty-five TO thirty shillings
per barrel for ordinary American fruit,
for very choice Baldwins forty shillings,
and lady apples from two To three shill-
ngs per 6ozeu in boxes. These prices
are a heavy advance on the selling rases
of similar fruits Of our leading cities, and
must have the effect of stimulating the
cultivation of the crop.
A few lays since party of gentlemen
were to9o er. One man, JOSEF, step
ped up to member of the party, and,
holding long hair before his eyes, said,
'See here, old fellow, tins looks suspicl-
Gus. Where did tins long hair come
trom!'
"Why, that's from my wife's head"
"Are you sure of liz"
Sure Of jt' Of course | am You
don't suppose you would find any other
woman's hair about me, do youl"
"No, probably not; but am sorry you
are SO sure il is your wifc's hair, for just
picked 1t off the coat of this gentleman"
! pointing TO friend near by.