davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09
Where He Left Him.

Meeting at court one day, Rochester,
with mock politeness thus accosted DIR.
Barrow, the witty divine: "Doctor, 1
am yours to my shoe tie;" to which Bar
row rejoined, "My Lord am yours to
the ground;" followed by Rochester with
doctor, am yours to the centre;" to
which the doctor returned, "My Lord,
am yours to the antipodes." Rochester
scorning to the foiled by piece of musty
divinity, as he termed Barrow, replied,
doctor, am yours to the bottomless
pit" whereupon Barrow turning on his
heel, quietly observed, "There, my Lord
/ leave you!".
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09
Rather too Hasty.

A Columbus Miss paper says;
coIored man who had contracted debt
some years ago with one of our mer-
chants came to town yesterday and call
ed on his old creditor.
"Didn't you 'splain to me dat if 1 set
tied up dat account you would give me
'lowanceY" said the darkey to the mer-
eyes did say so, Sam, and If you are
ready to settle your bill now will make
a good allowance" said the merchant.
waiting for the colored individual to pull
out his pocketbook.
"Well sir, hasn't got de money lust
now but thought I'd come in and get
de 'lowance; my wife wants shawl y
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09

Rg A Cody parson complained to an
elderly lady of his congregation, that
her daughter appeared to be wholly tax
en- up with trifles or worldly finery, in
stead of fixing her mind on things above.
"You are certainly mistaken, sir" said
she. 81 know that the girl appears to
an observer to be taken up with worldly
things but you cannot judge correctly
of the direction her mind really takes,
as she is a little cross-eyed."
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09

N n nA WEEK In your town, and no capi-
UvENN ktal rlsked. You can give the business
trial without expense. The best
khn opportunity ever offered for those
alEHANw willing to work. You should try
VUVNV nothing else until you see for your
- ~ self what you can do at the business
we offer. No room to explain here
You can devote all your time or only your spare
time TO the business, and make great pay for
every hour that you work. Women can make as
much as men, Send for special private terms and
particulars, which we mail free. IS 0utnt free
Don't complain OF hard times while YOU have such
2 chance. Address II. HALLETT & CO.. Port
land, Maine. 4Oly
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09

Ey "Why do we say in the Lords
Prayer, who art in heaven since God
is everywhere p asked clergyman of
some children. For while no one an
swered. At last, seeing little drummer
boy who looked as if he could give an
answer, the clergyman said: "Well,
little soldier, what say you ?" because
it's his head-quarters,' replied the
drummer.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09

R9- A German newspaper contains an
obituary in which occurs the following
"Our dear son Gustav lost his life by
falling from the spire of the Lutheran
church. Only those who know the ex-
act height of the steeple can measure
the depth of our grief"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09

R8 Two ladies presented themselves
at the door Of a fancy ball and on being
asked by the usher what characters they
personated, they replied that they were
not in special costume. Whereupon he
bawled out; "Two ladies without any
characters ~
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09

a. An abundance of guests and limi-
ted lodging-rooms caused Jimmy to be
" "slept OUT at a neighbours. On arising
in the morning he was invited to break
fast. "Well, guess not" he replied,
tive have mighty good breakfast at our
house when we have company"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09

Ry At the Yorktown celebrations the
other day an Englishmam, after survey
ing the situation and surroundings said
"I we'll understand now why Lord Corn
wallis surrendered Yorktown. If own
ed such place would give it up my
SELF"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09

Rgr A Kentuckian went west not long
since without any especial purpose, but
merely as he said, to get the hang of
frontier life." He got it, and the horse
was restored to its rightful owner.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09

Hg- An Irish gentleman, while play
ing cards finding the pool deficient, ex-
claimed "Here's a shilling short-who
put it in ?"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09

9a- An English traveller in the Holy
Land, it is said, has discovered Jacobs
Well. We are delighted to hear It,
There has been a rumor afloat that ia
cob was dead.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09

Ry The author of " Grandfather's
Clock" is at last meeting his punish
ment. One of his daughters not able to
stand the tick any longer, recently stop
ped short before clergyman with a run
away young man, promised never to go
single any more, and the old man near
ly died.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09

E9gs can't get coin for greenbacks!"
yelled stump orator, while denounc-
ing John Sherman. 81 know the rea-
son." said small boy.
"Why ?" asked the orator.
''Bekase ye hevn't got the greenbacks,
was the answer.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09

sy A shrewd little fellow, who had
begun to read Latin, astonished his mas
ter by the following translation Vir,
man--gin, trap Virgin, a mantrap.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09

m nnOA MONTH guaranteed Sl2 a
UeENItt hday at home made by the indus.
hpINU ttrI0us. Capital not required; we
ku1ENI Evil start YOU Men, women boys
ANUHHE land girls make money faster at
VUVIVIV Ework for MS than at anything else.
- - ~ The work Is light and pleasant,
and such as any one can go right
at. Those who are wise who see this notice will
send us their address at once and see for them.
selves. Costly Qntnt and terms free. Now is the
time. Those already at work are laying up large
sums OF money. Address TRUE CO., Augusta,
maine. 40 1y -
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09

Let your first attack OF indigestion be the last.
Rouse the dormant energies OF the stomach with
the. Bitters. The tone thus impaired will re-
main. This is fact established by thou.
sands OF witnesses. whose testimony is simply a
afflicted with general debility Of every phase will
nnd this medicine an unfailing agent in building
up and renewing their strength
For sale by all Druggists and respectable Deal.
ers generally. as I'm
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-12-09

"a
NSLo5$!.XS sSYs SIlE syM(Q
M4azlgNEI ] 9 l(
Hy- An Irish gentleman, while play
ing cards finding the pool deficient, ex-
claimed; "Here's shilling short-who
put it in ?"
or A shrewd little fellow, who had
begun to read Latin, astonished his mas
ter by the following translation: Vir, a
man--gin, a trap Virgin, a mantrap.
Rsr An English traveller in the Holy
Land, it is said, has discovered Jacobs
Well. We are delighted to hear it,
There has been a rumor afioat that ia
cob was dead.
az A Kentuckian went west not long
since without any especial purpose, but
merely as he said, "to get the hang of
frontier life." He got it, and the horse
was restored to its rightful owner.
R9r Two ladies presented themselves
at the door Of fancy ball and on being
asked by the usher what characters they
personated, they replied that they were
not in special costume. Whereupon he
bawled out tTwo ladies without any
characters
RB A German newspaper contains an
obituary in which occurs the following:
"Our dear son Gustav lost his life by
falling from the spire of the Lutheran
church. Only those who know the ex-
act height of the steeple can measure
the depth of our grief"
.@-s-
H5g An abundance of guests and limi-
ted lodging-rooms caused Jimmy to be
slept out' at neighbours. On arising
in the morning he was invited to break
fast. "Well, guess not" he replied,
"we have mighty good breakfast at our
house when we have company"
RY At the Yorktown celebrations the
other day an Englishmam, after survey
ing the situation and surroundings said;
'sI we'll understand now why Lord Corn
wallis surrendered Yorktown. If 1 own
ed such a place would give it up my
SELF"
R9 The author of Grandfather's
Clock'' is at last meeting his punish
ment. One of his daughters not able to
stand the tick any longer, recently stop
ped short before clergyman with run
away young man, promised never to go
single any more, and the old man near
ly died.
gar" can't get coin for greenbacksl'
yelled stump orator, while denounc-
ing John Sherman. 81 know the rea-
son,'' said small boy.
"Why ?" asked the orator.
''Bekase ye hevn't got the greenbacks,
was the answer.
BY" "Why do we say in the Lords
Prayer, who art in heaven since God
is everywhere p asked clergyman of
some children. For while no one an
swered. At last, seeing little drummer
how xubo Ioakad os If ha o0nld rive an
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12
Temperance Celebration.

Members of the Temple of Honor of
this place and Ellsworth, accompanied
by the River Falls Cornet Band and
several ladies, numbering about one
hundred in all, left Tuesday morning
in two special coaches on the I'll. & K.
F. railroad for grand celebration of
the Temples Of Honor of the st. Croix
Valley at Hudson. Arriving at Hud-
son they marched to Music Hall, after
which they visited various places in
the city while awaiting the arrival of
the other Temples. New Richmond,
Clayton, Osceola, Cumberland and
Clear Lake Temples. numbering about
one hundred and fifty, soon arrived.
At one o'clock the River Falls Tenn
pie formed at the hall, headed by the
Cornet Band, marched to the boat. re-
ceived the Prescott Temple, repre-
scented by about 40 accompanied by
their Cornet Band, and then marched
through town to the grove where the
Good Templar's tent had been erected.
At this place they were joined by
other Temples until their numbers
reached nearly 500. Headed by the
Hudson Band they marched through
the principal streets, after which they
were seated in the tent, which, though
capable of seating over 1900, was well
filled. The following programme
was then carried out.
Music, River Falls Cornet Band.
Prayer, Rev. w. ID. Atwater.
Music, Choir.
Address of welcome by Rev. J. III.
Thompson, of Hudson Temple.
Music, Prescott Cornet Band.
Addresses by f. p. Chapman. OF
New Richmond, and F. Nye, of Clear
Lake.
Music, Hudson Cornet Band.
Speech by J. A. Watrons, G.. w. G.
L.
Music by choir.
Address by DIR. Burroughs, of River
| Falls.
Music by the River Falls Band.
Address by Rev. H. Goodsell, OF
Prescott.
An excellent picnic supper was
then partaken of by over 700 persons.
After supper a secret session was
held by the Temples, followed by q
public meeting, addressed by r. n
Bevans, River Falls. ]. B. Owen
Hammond, J. E. Bartlett, Hudson
VIM. Haw, River Falls. and Henry
Burdick. Clear Lake. While the last
named gentleman was speaking the
storm, which had been threatening
all the evening. came upon the tent
blowing it down upon the heads o.
speaker and audience, and putting ;
stop to the exercises. All then re
turned home well pleased with thu
proceedings of the day.
| Four cornet bands were in attend
ance and the following Temples repre-
sented: Els worth, River Falls. Pres
colt, Hudson. Saltwater, Lakeland
New Richmond, Clear Lake. Clayton
| Cumberland, 0seeola, and Hammond
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12
PRACTICAL ARITHMETIC.

We have not dared to say much
about this branch. either in visitation
or in this department, lest some one
should think we desired more atten-
ton to be given to the study. We
wish less. Only in rare cases should
more than seventy-five minutes per
day be devoted to arithmetic classes.
One hour we believe is nearer right.
But we can conceive of no case in
which the time should exceed ninety
minutes, or scarcely reach it. Hurt
somebody's feelings if necessary to
unite classes. In order to shorten the
time devoted to the upper classes we
suggest few devices. Try some OF
them.
/. Require pupils to work out upon
states at their seats, some of the most
typical examples. bring them to the
class for your inspection and correc.
ton, for explanation by the pupil, OF
for by the pupils, each taking
his neighbor slate for that purpose.
2. In case you must assist the class
upon some example which none can
work, send the whole class to the
board and tell each one to work it az
you, by questions, draw the method
from them. Then require one or more
to explain it.
3. Have one rise, book in hand, and
analyze examples without any Worl
upon the board, giving the steps ant
reasons for them, but not the numeric
d! results at each step. Go through
the class with this exercise.
4. Never, nerer. NEVER. assist pu
pill at his seat, Individually, to work al
! example.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12
SPORTY ACRES AND A MULE,
OAK GROVE. June I'd, 1879.

OAK GROVE, June I'd, 1879.
EDs. JorRNAL:--As the railroad
question is now open for debate we
wish to avil ourselves of the oppor-
tunity offered through the columns of
your paper to express our sentiments
on the question. say we, because |
express the sentiments of large ma
jorsty of the voters of the town. In
an article written by Tax Payer which
appeared in your paper of May 29th,
the writer states that as one who paid
taxes on property of much greater
value than forty acres and mule, :
he was II favor of granting the aid
asked by the company for the purpose
of extending the road through the
county. One would suppose from his
al vuments that We only need this road
to make us happy and prosperous
people. What his assertion with re
gard to 'sforty acres and a mule,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12

| :
unless it is that from that class OF
voters may be expected the greatest
opposition, or in other words, that
those who pay the least amount of
taxes are the ones who will the most
strenuously oppose the bonding of the
county. Now it seems pity that
those who are possessed only of forty
acres and mule to pay taxes upon
should be allowed voice in questions
of as great Importance as is the one
now pending, involving the bonding
of the county to the tune of Sl0O. 0O0
to aid moneyed corporation that
might eventually become our masters.
Why not build the road, put on the
rolling stock, and then make this poor
corporation Il present of it Or, if
that can't be done, have the constitu-
ton changed SO that only those favor
ed ones who are possessed of eighty
acres and two mules will have the
right to vote upon 100000 questions.
Bond the county to aid the poor
| farmers of the county to pay off the
mortgages on their farms, and to put
them under proper CIVILIZATIONS; to
build comfortable houses and barns,
and to procure for those who have
no farm even forty acres and mule,
instead of taxing those who are already
overburdened with taxes and interest
at IS per cent. on borrowed money, to
aid corporation, who, il 1T is for
their interest, will build the road
whether they receive aid from the
county or not. Do this and we VIII
do more TO promote the welfare and
prosperity of the county than would
the prospective railroad.
1t is true that this road would give
employment to number of men and
teams for short time, but it would
benefit non-residents quite rs much us
those who reside in the county; and
as it would take but short time to
build the road the benefit derived from
that source would be scarcely worth
mentioning. 1t is also true that 1t
would create market for wood but at
a price so ruinously low that farmers
would not care to avail themselves OF
the benefit. A farmer who pays from
fifty to seyenty-hve cents cord Tor
cutting wood and is compelled to haul
it from five to twelve miles and then
receive from ST.. so to 1926 per cord
for it is not apt to appreciate the value
of such market.
1t is claimed by the admirers of this
project that it would induce the estab-
Iishment of new industries, and would,
by attracting capitalists, open all the
latent resources of the county. This
NAV be true, but there are few places
that can boastOf more natural induce
ments to capital than River Falls and
we have yet to see the first benefit 1t
has received from its railroad in that
direction. AS to its being compet-
ing line. we know too well how one
railroad completes with another. We
do not wish it understood that we are
opposed to the building of a road
through Pierce county, OF any other
county. On the contrary we would
wish to see such u road wherever
needed, but assert that the country
through which the proposed road
would pass offers a sufficient induce
ment in its carrying trade and would
amply repay for the building without
any outside aid. VOTER.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12

The numerous railway extensions
new being made in the Northwest and
the re-opening of manufactures all
over the country are an index of the
gradual improvement of the times
and harbingers of better times to fol-
low. Time and patience have been
required for recuperation from the
evil effects of an imitation style of
living and doing business and we doubt
not that ere long all will be rewarded
for their patience and industry and
at they will hereafter profit by their
past experience.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12

A RICH vein of silver has been dis
covered in the Penoka Iron Range six
teen miles from Ashland in this State.
and Chicago capitalists are now engag-
ed in developing the Find.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12

THE Ohio Democrats have nominated
Hon. Thomas Ewing for Governor and
Hon. A. V. Rice for Lieutenant Gov
ernor. Rice and Bishop were the
principal contestants for the guberna-
torial nomination, but Ewing being
the second choice of the friends of
both he was nominated on the second
ballot. 1t was hoped by the Demo-
Gratis that the nomination of Ewing
would secure coalition of the Green
hackers but the latter were braced UP
by the advice of leading Nationals
against coalition and refused to con-
solidate, nominating full ticket of
their own with Gen. A. S. Pratt at its
head. This action did not meet the
approval of the Greenback apostle
Carey and a resolution was subsequent
ly adopted by boilers from the regular
Greenback convention favoring call
for another convention to be held next
Tuesday, to nominate new ticket.
From this it will be seen that the OPP
position to the Republican party in
Ohio is somewhat divided at present
while the Republicans are united and
confident of success. A sweeping Re-
publican victory in the Buckeye State
in October could not fail to have IA
yorable effect upon the Republican
party in the November States, as well
as give an assurance that the better
Judgment of the people again predomi'
mates.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12

The inspection of the North Wiscon-
sin 10y the State officials last week WAS
satisfactory and the Governor will
take steps for the conveyance of the
additional lands to which the Company
is now entitled.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12

A MILWAUKEE correspondent of the
Chicago Tribune is authority for the
statement that Senator Carpenter s
serious indispos ton is the result of
his inordinate use of tobacco.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12

The confirmation of Secretary of
War McCrary to succeed Judge Dillon
of the Eighth Judicial Circuit of the
United States Court will be the first
break IN President Hayes Cabinet.
Either ex-senator Ramsey, of Mime
sofa, or ex Governor Hartranft, of Penn
sylvania, will succeed McCrary rs
Secretary of War, should the nomina-
ton of the latter rs Judge of the
United States Court be confirmed.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12

TnE cultivation Of tobacco is an ex-
tensive and profitable industry in Rock
county, this State.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12
@cysHs~

PRESENT indications point to large
attendance at the Editorial Conyen-
ton to be held at Oshkosh next week
An attractive programme has been ar
ranged and an enjoyable occasion will
doubtless be the result. Invitations
have been extended to the State Off
GERS to meet with the craft and it is
understood that they will share in the
recreation of the quill-drivers.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12

A WISCONSIN correspondent of one of
the Chicago papers ventures predic-
tons upon Republican nominations
from which we infer that he is eX-
tremely anxious for new deal as he
conjectures the denomination of but
one of the present State officers. His
manifest desire for n change, howev-
er, will not be gratified by the next
Republican convention. He is a little
'soff'' in his reckoning and after the
ticket shall have been nominated he
Will find his list sadly in need of revi-
sion. Had he consulted public opin-
ion instead of his own 'sour" feelings
he would be III much better repute as
a prophet.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12

SIScE the nomination of Foster for
Governor of Ohio by the Republicans.
the "Grant BOOM enjoys q little
relaxation.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12

The Greenhack conventions already
held in Maine, Ohio and Iowa have
not been very harmonious, from which
it would appear that in its virgin pu-
rity the Greenback party is not free
from the disturbing influences of am
bilious politicians who would make
that party a vehicle to carry them into
official station.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12
%.S.>-

SOME of the Democratic papers were
inclined to be facetior- over the name
of Gen. Hickenloope' epublican can
didate for Lieuter Governor of
Ohio, but since t democratic con-
vention nominal, IN. Americas
Vespucius Rice to against Hicken-
Iooper "honors easy" on this
score
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12

Cook & Bell wish it distinctly under
stood that they will sell goods as low,
or lower, than any house in River
Falls.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12
MARTEL FAIR

A monthly fair will be held at Mar
tel, Pierce county, on the second Tues
day of each month for the purpose OF
buying. selling and trading in
horses. cattle, sheep, swine &c. The
farmers of Martel and adjoining towns
are cordially invited to bring their
stock to the fair. Butchers and 9TH
ers desiring to buy fat cattle viii do
well to attend.