San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1879-02-01
wI r. AND WISDOM.

Nd ~. VIZ ANh WAo0OAs 4
Z. Is the minuse-gun : weapon for Xii
ling timer WE. saSt tx i
Is the blarney,stone the same as the
shaia rock M sallst. s.s.s io
A PAPER that is always full Of good
points--a paper Of needles.
A MANS character ia like . fence-you
cannot strengthen j. by whitewash.
THE enemy that sows tears while men
sleep-their wives.
WHEN does anan smoke cigar too
longp when he smokes il too short.
SroRMs generally are q mystery, but
you can always soc the drift Of snow
storm. 'fl u 'l'e' 'a% -tstsNw.i
IFgmarriage was any sort Of an insur-
ance company 1t would be the Mutual
Life. 90 ''iN Az s,% aelRSt ~.
THE family which makes q big show
at funeral y always the Arst to put up
q cheap tombstone. :, n. 1 .....' y
PULLING huaband's hair and leav-
ing him unprotected at the polls j. known
to jufists as wigamy, ssas.s .'s
,AisTRAcUsE man calls his wife ~Poor
Rule, /" beoauseshe WON'T work more than
one way. and usually, not that.
II survER Kate" remarkedAa small
husband o. he ives ,rarmly embraced by
ahont $50 pounds Of wife. ~ AZ
is said to live 400 years.
A barber does MOTIVE 20 long, but he
talks more. -.----
'Irwas the Chicago Journal that said:
"A. few saiore medical schools and there
VI be no business left for resurrection
day. ,.bal sNcfl;Hi tg%
HAVE you ever observed how mad il
makes o man with sore throat because
he canuoi swallow rbout $50 times every
four or five minutesfi gag SD
MANY a timid, shrinking maiden, who
last summer swung upon ssie gate with
her lover, is now engaged in half-soling
the same Individuals pants.
:. N IL times in ten il you run against
man the ia ), you will say "Hellol"
The other fellow begins TO say the SAME;
often he omits the last syllable.
| A YOUNG lady who VIZ rebuked by
her mother for kissiog her intended,
justified the act by q1otingtbe passage:
whatsoever We would that men should
do unto you, 40 you even 90 70 them"
6swHo b ayed tbere?" asked mem
Der o. q Canadian house OF commons Of
the persons who were trying by inter
rup;ion to silence him. "ls was an
echo" lretorted voice. "a
A YOUNG gentleman recently accused
nosherf Of having . big moutal. Eyes,
said the other, bus the Lord had to
make yours small 80 as to give yon p,en-
ty o cheek"
JOSH EyLLrNGs: II don't insist upon
pedigree for man or horse. II horse
kan tot st tie pedigree is all right;
if he kant ! wouldn't give q shilling .
yard for his pedigree" 81
II ALWAYS sing to please myself"
said gentleman who was humming .
tune in company. Then you are not
st all difficult to please" said lady
who sat next to him.
A LAZY fellow once declared in apub-
lie company that he could not find
bread for his family. "Nor l." replied
an industrious mechanic: II am obliged
to work for it,"
AMONG what you might call the BRIDE
groomel presents at the recent marriage
Of widow Of SIXTY and young man Of
twenty-five, in Iowa, were several great
grandchildren, the sift Of the bride.
To MAKE little boys trowsers last,
when you make suit of clothes for
them, finish the coat firs,t, and by so do
ing you will M the trowsers last II
is 10 only way The thing can be done.
A cars eyes a. Q said to be the largest
at midnisht. We never made an exam
ination, bus we are positive that it's voice
is about seventeen times larger at that
hour than at any other period during
the twenty-four. -Bosto.t Globe.
A Married lady lately consulted her
lawyer on the following question, name
": Gas I welded Mr.. Jones for his
wealth, and that wealth is now spent,
am i not, to all intents and purposes,
a widow, and at liberty to marry againT
"r,wouder, uncle, said little girl, IF
men will ever yet live to be five hundred
or enc Thousand years old?" "No, my
child" responded the old man, shat
was tried once, and the race grew 90
bad that the world had to be drowned"
AFIvE-cExr cigar, with good draught
and an enterprising you'll at the tall
end of it, will load the immediate at