davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31
BIrs or Trx.

Suitable dover for a wldow-A wid.
over.
People Of settled cOnvlctiOnS-Pri~
oners.
Hush rnouey--Tbe money paid to
a baby's nurse.
It is difficult for college freshmen
to get the haze-seed out Of his hair.
A young man with his first goates
may be said to have q tuft time
Of It.
Testing is good for the digsestIon.
Therefore live dIgesting and die Jest
Ing.
"Know all men by these Pesnuts,'
says the man who tends the street
stand on the corner.
The general depression In trade
seems 70 effect even tho dAys-fhey
arc very short now.
Shere All has three hundred snd
sixty wives. His affairs with Eng
land, theTfore, Is only q change Of
battlefield.
The Whitehall Times would BE-
pleased TO know II when a dog ex.
pires he goes to "the happy lsnd OF
Canine ~
A young man who is given to ath.
IectIc sports would liketo know when
tho much-taIked Of Anglo Saxon
race Is to come Of.
There are two kinds Of men who
tell tie truth one from force Of
circumstances and the other for 3
change.
It takes a fellow who has been
kicked of the front st0Op by ths
irate parent Of his girl to tell the st0-
ry Of tho Missile toe.
An Iowa clergyman boasts that
he can marry twenty couples in An
hour. Twenty knots an hour II
pretty good speed for clergyman to
make.
4 late minister in Biggar, who
was reader In the pulpit, closed his
discourse with the words: al add no
more" Because ye cannap ek-
claimed an old woman from Der
pew.
A gentleman just returned to
America firm tour in E1rope, vas
asked how he liked the ruins Of
Pompeii. "Not very WE'LL" he re-
piled: s'they are In such shocking
bad repair"
This joke, considering that it comes
form Scotland, is not bad: Why
is ProfessOr-the greatest revivaist
OF tho age? Because at the end Of
every sermon there Is great awaken
Ing.
Fin2ncier, who recently made {
cool million In w. O., riding with q
friend, says TO him with ill-conceaied
contempt: seSay, this carriage oI
yours isn't as new as 1t might be.
Friend tgentIyl-"No,- but (sigDif
cantly) I've had it for long time"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31
DECL4RArEox or PRINCIPLES.

The National Grange, at its last
meeting, put forth the following decla-
ration Of principles
We, tho membcrs Of the National
Grange, desiring to define the precise
objects Of the Order of Patrons Of
Husbandry, and place them before the
membership Of the Order throughout
the Union, do hereby set forth tho fol-
lowing propositions, with our distinct
declaration Of the purposes relating
thereto
The industry upon which our Order
Il based Ia agriculture the most i'm
portAnt Of all industries; the founda-
lion and support Of all others; the true
basis Of all our national prosperity.
Wo have observed tho condition Of our
people, and viewed with alarm the en-
croachments upon their rights. While
agriculture Is the chief source Of wealth,
and therefore deserving Of at least
equal recognition with other avocations,
IL is deprived Of its just rewards and
oppressed by methods Of law. II Is
made 10 bear grievous burdens not its
own. It is compelled TO pay :ayes
which an equitable distribution would
place elsewhere. IL Is forced by wicked
combinations 10 submit to hurtful
determinations against its products
both in transportation and in the marts
Of salO. It's votaries have been and
are denied that consideration in public
affairs TO which the magnitude and the
importance Of their calling entitle them.
The laws Of the nation and the several
States arc 10 framed as 70 avert from
this great industry the reward. which
are the great incentives TO till, and our
earnest renonStrance against their in
justice spurned.
In view Of these truths We ara bound
in defence Of our manhood TO assert onr
righta
First, Wo shall strive earnestly,
withiA and without our Order. 10 ex.
tend tho benefits OF education. which
shall comprise knowledge Of public az
fairs aud tho methods OF self govern
ment.
Second, We shall demand admission
in the Legislatures Of the several States,
and in both houses Of the national
Congress, for Representatives of agri.
culture, chosen directly from it's votaries
~ the only means Of relief
Third, We shall accord TO other in
dnstries all the rights. privileges and
immunitios which we claim for our own,
and join with their representatives, in
earnest enaeavors TO impress upon the
governments of State and nation habits
Of wise economy and frugality.
Fourth, We shall give constant care
and attention TO the public schools, in
which the youth Of the nation arc deep
ly interested. limiting expenditures
therefor only by their usefulness, striv
ing always for that higher and practi
cal enlightenment which should become
tho distinguishing feature of "A free peo
plv.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31

Gold has lately reached the lowest
point known since its 6rst advance in
1869. Some of our readers will be in
terested in brief roview Of the Auc-
tuAtions of gold during the past sixteen
years as given in tho New Yerk Tri6.
uae
On Jsn. Is, 1862, gold sold at l03,
and 1uctuatel according to the charAc
ter Of the war news, reAching 1881 on
Dec. 81. In 1868 gold ranged between
1924 and l56. In 1864 it reached the
highest point, on July IL being quoted
at 2S5. During this year the prics
fuctuated from 1914 to l53 on Jan. 2
and 276 to 265 on July IL, closing or
Dec. 81 at a24t to 2275. Gold opened
in 1865 At 226, and continued steadily
TO decline. being quoted at IA to Is.
on Dec. So From that time, with 90
cAsional exceptions, its course has beer
downward. But no marked fall oc
cured until 1870, when it declined be
tween january and December, from
1904 to ll0z. From then until th,
beginning of 1877 tho premium re
mained at 10 per cent. when il declinec
to LOT, closing the year at l03. II
July of last year, when the Silver bill
was being agitated, gold declined from
l0l to 1909 and in September it reach
ed bidding price Of 1901, fluctuatinl
between this and I0l{ in October
Now it has reached almost par, ant
bankers think that the premium vii
entirely disappear in few days.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31


Old 81 vsded through Blain's speech
with tho patience Of q martyr.
"On de face OBJ de returns, said he,
"ez lado down in dis speech, do niggor
bog lost his gtiP ou feesdesa, 70 be
sho I"
at does look rough whom yOu don't
care what you say"
"Dat's hit But den yer mus
skuse or man dat's been sun atroked
an run ober on dc way to de White
House by de whole State ob Ohio
Yer h0z ter make 'lowances for dis
man, kase he's jess paddlin' round
searchin' for onOksrpied life presar.
YER"
"You don't agros with him thour
Well. doOs in dc ksnklusion, but,
yer see, don't cline up to hit de same
way he do !"
Hsw IL thatT'
"Why, he ser dat somsGn's got tor
be done, an done in q monghty hurry,
else Why dar won't be enough niggeru
votiR' in dis country ter leckt delights
ter or convsnshun 'ginAt de hog Law
OATS what see myseG But, den,
faint no use ter say dat hit's 'kAse dar''
bull-doEin' an Observation-Disclosures don
played out long agor'
What is the cauaeT'
"DO prinsopul cause arc det freedurr
fotch on taxes, on Of yer don't sec de
tAx-kollee. de managers at dc bAllot-bo1
kant recognized yer nohow. Somehow
er 'nudder, yer seems not TO yerseG
An jea 80 long as do niggers buys mo
lickor dan dc tax recospa, jes 80 long i
dis 'akrepency igwine ter pear in d.
'leokShun returns e.
"That sounds like sense"
"Dat's what hit is--m4rk dat
An Of Mister Blaine, or cnny udder
Of dem 'publicans wanta ter aea mig
geTs swarmin' at do polls down hyar
all dey got der do arc ter envens el
mashcen tor pay niggsr ta1ss wid. an
'stribute dem round throo do Ssuf
OnGel den ds tax-koilootors Is gwins OF
wid do bull-doEin'. Yer hear me r
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31
rME late sam PATOu.

Some one inquired Of the editor of
the BGtGViGn what he knew Of "Sam
Patch" and what was his real name.
The editor interviewed an old citizen
of Genssee County, and answered ;
"Sam Patch's" real name was Samuel
Patch, but by consent tho uel was torn
of in his boyhood, and was never
afterward patched on. Sam was first
discovered in or about Patterson, N. j..
He didn't develep we'll a. boy or man.
He was az good-natured as the day was
lorg, and as shiftless and dissipated as
he was good-natured. His surname
was placarded all over his clothes by q
careful mother, and all over his face
by the effects Of the "water he took in
hizzen." He had, occasionally, lucid
intervals. In one Of these he deter
mined to be yacht on the face of Gre
alton no longer, so he hurried to the
Passiac River, with suicidal intent, and
with a mighty leap went over its beau
tiful falls into its seething waters be-
low. But, as the lamented Greeley
had it, 'sthough he tried to give up the
ghost, the ghost refused to be given
up" and Sam came out alive and well
An idea struck him. He hal new
for lazy man to make living. He'G
jump. the crowds would pay. He MIL
lied his idea-jumped falls here anc
there all over the country went Il
Niagara Falls and leaped safely dowE
that tremendous cataract; went Il
Rochester, N. Y, leaped there once il
safety, tried It again, was drunk .
that time ard did not maintain his per
pendicularity in descent, and, striking
the water little angling. was probabl.
killed By the collision. His body wa
never found. This, his last jump, h
made abeut fsrty.fvs years ago.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31
RETREBUTIOH.
nv On. nALt.

When mother disre9ards the laws
Of health in tho treatment Of her little
one. no matter from what cause, she
suA'eEs in the care, toll Of nursing, and
anxiety regarding the child in whose
system she allowed TO be laid the
foundation Of disease. And it will not
alter the caso that she did not know the
laws she violated, or did not think Of
them, OF was 30 placed that she could
not pay TO them deserved respect. In.
exorable law is asserted, and shc is pun.
ished.
When man eats or drinks what
does not conduce to the healthy nour.
ishmont Of tho body, he suffers for IL
sooner or later. Nos will it avert the
penalties that no car plead his ignorauce
Of the effects Of his indulgence, The
diseassd brain or the disorisred stom.
ach vindicates the dignity Of law.
When lady deceives her husband
in the matter Of expense, obtains goods
on credit when ho wishes to bug onls
with cash, she endures tho consequences
when tho bill comes at length, ia
the just displeaaure Of her husband,
in the loss Of his confidence, and, per
haps, later, IN tho evil influence Of
her example on her children. That she
has excuses, reasons Of her own, and
tho like, will not avert these sore
evils
Whom parents make the one son a
plaything, forget their obligations to
train and restrain him, Indulge biz
every whim and foster every fern Of
self in him, in sclfassertions, self-pleas.
ing, selfwill and selfinduIgence, they
reap as they aOwed in tho young tyran,
who rules them before he is in his teGns,
and breaks their hearts beiore he has
attained his majority. That they loved
him, or did not think Of the future, OF
had but tho one, is no barrier to the
food of misery. Mon can SEQ this
principle in operation on the narrow
field Of individual or family life-but
they are slow 70 notice it and still more
slow to lay il to heart, for practiced
uses on the broader field Of social and
national life.
When we allow an ignorant and vi
cious population to grow up in the com
munity, We arc puniShsd by the exam
pie, tha contaminated atmosphere, tbs
injuries inflicted, the costly defenseI
against the evil, or the expensive ma
chinery for detecting and Furnishing th'
criminals. Tho school is cheaper anc
better than the jail; the Sunday SchoO
and the church are better than the pc
lice court. Lst us ignore the cheap Ant
needful agency, and VIC must, in tard
sslf-defense, provide the costly and i'm
perfect remedies fer the consequences G
our neglect.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31
crsTER's field GLASS.

About eighteen months ago. while
Senator Christiancy, Of Michigan, was
in the South. investigating the election
frauds, he paid visit 10 General Wade
Hampton, and the conversation drifted
into war "reminiscences. Among other
military persOnAges, General Hampton
spoke Of General Custer, and expressed
his appreciation Of the dead hero in
the highest terms. Senator Christian
cy replied that he was we'll acquainted
With all Of General Clusters family,
having known him from childhood.
Then General Hampton remarked that
during the war some Of the soldiers of
his command at tho battle of Brandy
wine had captured field glass belong
ing to General Custer had not given it
to him, and he General Hampton) had
used it during tho last two years Of the
conflict. Senator Christiancy was
asked if he thought Mrs. Custer would
like the glass. The Senator said
"Yes," and at once wrote to Mrs. Gus
tor about tho matter. She sent a let.
ter to General Hampton, saying that
she would doubly appreciate the
relic because it had been the property
Of two brave men, aad she added that
her husband had been an admirer of
General Hampton. Tho latter sent
word that al soen as he could get the
glass brought down from his mountain
homo ke would forward it, and the his
toric glass is now on the way to Mon
roe, Mich, the home of Mrs. Custer,
where she has large collection of war
souvenirs arranged in a cabinet. 7.
Herald.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31
Jesz EuLL.xGs' PHnosePnT.

l hav no obIeckshuu To q man part.
Ing hIz hair in the middle, bat
shall aIlwuks insist upon his finishing
up the Job bf wearing short gown
and pettik"at.
There Is sutch thing az too mulch
energy. hav seen thoze who were
like young hound In the chase, get
away ahead Of the fox.
There are crate many roads that
lead to heaven, but after yu get thars
only one gateway to enter.
II we would only profit bi our
own experiences or the experience Of
others, It would be almost impossible
for even lightning to strike as; bua
rather than do this we prefer TO knox
cut what ia branes we hav got against
somebody's stun wall, and then hoWl
about the weakness ov reason or the
malice Of fortune.
There IL nothing We hav got 50
little ov. and nOthiRg We think we
hav got 80 much ov, az originality.
It Il the little bits ov things that
fret and worry us; we kan dodge .
elephant, but we kant "a fly.
It ain't so much the amount man
knows, az the ability to use what he
duz kno NJ the right time and place,
that makes him power.
have been trieing to find out Tor
the last forty years at what time ov
life a man il the most phoolish, and
az soon az l find out, will let yu
kno.
The hardest man TO c1nvInca Il
the one who agrees to everything you
say.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31

Ny friends and tellow-sufsrers,
from the mince pic to the tomb is
bat step. If mlnce pies must be
made, demand In the name of the
youth Of our country that the people
who manufacture them be compelled
to take out license. II they must
be eaten, beg OF you, as you value
your souls salvation, do not eat them
straight. A serpent turks in every
one Of them. Ten thousand devils
lie beneath every crust be 1t baked
ever so nicely. Every currant hides
demon with forked tongue of
flame and q sevcn-pronged pitchfork.
The suet, the citron, and the chopped
meat are the broth of hell, and the
business from stem to stern Is a
mockery, and strong drink is raging.
In conclusion, my beloved hearers,
touch not, taste not, handle not, en-
ter not into temptation; or in other
words, look not upon the mince pie
when it is red, when. It glveth its
color in the cupboard. City Der.
rick.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31

Boiling is the most abused branch of
cooking. We know that many we'll.
meaning housewives, and even pro
fessional cooks, boil things that ought
to be prepared otherwise with view
of economy, but a great many do it
through lazinoss, Boiling requires as
much care as any other branch, but
they do not think so, aud, therefore, in
dulge in it. Another abuse is to boil
fast instead Of slowly. Set a small
ocean of water on brisk FIRE and boil
something in it as fast as ron can, you
make much steam but do not cook fast
or; the degree Of heat being the same as
if you are boiling slowly. IF the object
you boil fast contains any flavor you
evaporate it and cannot bring it back.
Many things are spoiled or partly de-
stroyed by boiling, especially meats,
coffees, etc. Water that has been boil
ed is inferior for cooking purposes, its
gases and alkali being evaporated.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31
a STRANGE sTsRy.

The New York Sun gives page TO
tho remarkable story of Miss Mary
J. Fancher, who It says has laid for
thirteen years Ia Brooklyn, much Of
the time In . trance-llke condition,
with feeble hcart-pulsatiou, sluggish
and almost imperceptlble respiration,
and the chill OF death upon her fesh.
At times she has been transformed
Into a cheerful, vIVacious, Intelligent,
enterprisln9 young woman, aud then
relapscd Into speechlessness, blind
ness, deafness, and entire paralysis
Of the senses. She has developed
most astonishing powers, resembling
second sight or elarlvoyance, reading
with ease the contents Of sealed let
ters, describing articles In hidden
packages, and perusing books while
absolutely blind. Sometsmes her
powers are voluntary, at others they
are unconscIously exercised. Sc lit
tle nourishment has she taken that
IL may be said that she lives without
food. She Is surrounded by persons
Of social standing and refinement,
and has always been exceedingly SEN
sitIve to any public mention oil
knowledge OF her condition. She
has ever repelled an effort to couple
her Manifestations with those of clari-
voyants; has begged to bc allowed "a
live aud die in the retirement OF hel
home, unmolested by strangers. and
accessible only to her friends. Clergy
men, physicians, men Of letters, and
OF intelligence have visited her.
Miss Fancher herself has written, al
great length, descriptions Of hel
feelings and sensations.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31

ado you think" writes . young
student of human economy, edo you
think the human race Is decaYing 8
Not at all-not at all. Part Of it isn't
decaying because it is yet alive and
the portion of it that Is dead doesn't
give it chance. Oh, myl the human
race was never, in all its history, 80
we'll protected against decay Is it Is at
present. Be thankful that yeu live in
an age when the grave has bean 20
shorn of its power that it can't hold
= man so long as it would hold spoon-
ful of quicksilver.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31

cd TO bc paid out Of tho internal i'm.
provoment and swamp land sales,
which are in course Of liquidation in
that way.
The State capitol and penitontiary
are erected. These buildings arc Of
ample sizO and permanent enduring
structure. We have schools and
churches everywhere. The people arc
vigorous, industrious, enterprising, fru-
gal and happy, and they look forward
to pleasing and fAtte~ing future TO a
great State and I ropsl this sIander
unan thom and me.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31
WARTS.

We have publised several cures for
warts, but here is another which . cor
respondent vouchss for as being sue:
Some two months since / noticed in 9
country paper arecipe to remove warts.
AS 1 had no less than twenty large seed
warts on my hands, besides several
smaller ones, ! applied this remedy, as
published, taking common Irish po
tato, cutting it in two, and applying
the juice over each wart two or three
times day. Mine have all disap
peared, and as this remedy is handy
for all, / thought it was worthy Of re
publishing.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31

A plain-spoken woman recently vis-
tied msrrisd woman and said to her,
s'How do you manage to amuse your
selfl" "Amusei" said the other, ''don't
you think have my house work to dor
eyes" was the answer, 'I see you have
it to do, but as it is never done I con-
cluded you must have some other way
Of passing your time.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31

For CRoUP.-In the far West they
have what they consider specific for
Group. 1t is very simple. Take =
piece of lard as big as a butternut,
rub it full Of sugar, divide into three
parts, and give at intervals OF
twenty minutes: the Group Will
disappear gradually, but surely.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31

A rapid and emphatic recital Of the
following simple narrative is an infali
bic cure for lisping: Hobbs met Snobbs
and Nobbs; Hobbs bobs to Sncbbs and
Nobbs; Hobbs ncbs with Snnbbs and
robs Nohb's fobs. This is" says
Nobbs, " the worst Of Hobbs jobs;
and Saobbs sobs.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31

Lawer-"How do you identify this
handkerchief Witnesa-"By its
general appearance. and the fact that ]
have others like ii in nay pocket
Lawyer-'I don't doubs it at all. I
had more than one of The very ssme
sort stolen"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31

Board for the Indian prisoners 70
Gently hanged In Umasills county
amounted to $500.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31

Business notices in the Lncal ColaaAS
90 cents per line,
FOR legal and transient advsrtlgo1neMtg
af 90 per square, for the frst insertion, and
50 cents per square for each subsequsnt h.
sertion.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-31


This sum is stated to be "ilIegal fees
paid for conveying eonvicts and insane
persons to places of confinement. The
only knowledge which l have of this
subject has been gained from newspa-
per recently received from Oregon. The
statement is that the committee report
ed all the mileage paid to sherifs of the
several different counties in the State
as moneys "unaccounteI for" These
payments have been made by warrants
drawn on the State treasurer out of
moneys specifically appropriated for
that purpose, and on sworn accounts
and vouchers presented by the sherifs,
showing ther mileage and services. The
provisions Of the State statutes on this
subject are particular and have been ex-
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1879-08-09
Hog Wash.

Allegan (Mich.) Journal.l
The OkOlOna Southern States has
set forth Democratic programme
in nine articles, the ninth and last
of which reads:
80. The South and Southern
principles must triumph, or civiliza.
ton must come to II standstlll.
"Through. red hearts blood, and
glare of fire of burning cities
through death that grInned at lis
with set teeth; through horrors
and gloom of which we may not
speak, we have marched to see
these principles triumph, and by
the living God we will never sur
render them until We witness their
supreme vindIcation."
A fine looking young man by the
name of Kernan, Who IejOices in
dark hair and "large. ehangefui
eyes, that are blue and black by
turns" may have written the above;
but nevertheless we do not hesitate
to call it hog wash.