The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1879-02-28
Phunnygraphs.

yon, schop his het Off"
A white boy met a colored' lad and
asked him what he had such'a short
nose forg ~ 'spects SOS it won't
poke itself, into other peoples
business"
There is something NICE about
the balance of trade. A worthy
farmer, who comes into town load
ed with new wheat, goes home load
4 ed with old rye.
"Ah,n sighed a hungry tramp"
wish | was a hoss; blamed if |
don't. He's nearly always got n
sit III his mouth, while / haven't
had bit III mine for two days"
A young lady sent twenty five,
cents and postage stamp III reply
to an advertisement OF "How to
make an impressions" and received
tor answer, I" Sit down on pan of
dough" ag
"Two months with But single
stew, two spoons that dipus one"
as the young man remarked to his
dearly beloved, after. giving his
economical order for Zone stew,
two spoons" -
~ wonder, uncle,r said little
girl, sit men Will live to be 500
or 1000 years oldr "No, my
child" responded the old man
ct that was tried once, and the race
grew SO bad that the world had to-
be drowned"
Josh Billings says "Tliare is
one thing about hen that looks
like wisdom; they don't kackle
much until after they have laid
their egg. Some pholks are alwuz
a Dragging snd a kacklihg what
they are going tew do bee-fore
hand"
A widower had FIVE grown daugb-
tiers who wouldn't let him take a
second wife. He gave mp the wife,
but bought a savage dog, and now
won't allow man to cross his door
sill. II he can't marry, the girls
shant, he says
I" AT the end of the first year
comes the cotton wedding,n eX-
plains an exchange. And this is
not the only thing that comes at
the end of the first year. Some
times poverty comes. Sometimes
the mother l-law, and sometimes
twins.
See what little thing will make
some people mad. A young gen
tleman concluded to have a bath
a few evenings ago, and in the dark
mistook a chunck of stove backing
for soap aud lie was awful mad
when he came down stairs.
The family physician was cor
graduating the lady Of the house
on the health of her six year-old
sou who, she said. had rot an ache
or pain for a year. Tile youth
spoke to his father afterward, say
ing " Ma is mistaken about that;
/ had a hard pain last summer, at.
ter she whipped me-"
A little boy, some six years old,
was using his slate and pencil on
"A Sunday when his father, who was
"a minister, enterd and said : any
son, | prefer that you should not
use Your slate OH the Lord's
dayn "I am drawing meeting
houses, father was the prompt
reply. ....
&c Pm a rutabaga, and here's
where Iplant myself" said tramp
ais he entered farmhouse near
Freeport, ILL.,, and seated himself
at the table. awe alters bile ours,'
said the farmers wife, al d soused
him with dish.panful of boiling
water.
An agent who had sold a Dutch.
man some goods, was to deliver
them in the afternoon at the rest
dence of the purchaser. The
Dutchnan gave him the following
directions:-"You shust 90 behind
the church; den you turns up to de
right for a while till you sees
house init big hog ir de yard.
Dots me.'
A short sighted man went to all
opticians to change his glasses,
which were not strong enough.
After he had got the right ones he
asked, "What number must | wear
after these cease to be strong
enoughw "Thfs one" said the
optieian, showing him another pair.
sand after that r "This." "And
after that n s'After that I After
thati You'll need little dog and
string"
1t was at breakfast the other
morning in GIammerey park. Til
den was sitting at the table with d.
his nephew. In careless manner
he took all the hot rolls on the
plate and slowly ate them; while
Pelton subdued his hunger on
crackers aud coffee. Suddenly,
Tildeu looked over at the plate
where the hot rolls ought to be,
and glarpd at it for several minutes.
Then be sank back and looked at
his nephew. "Pelton," said he,
= the hot rolls are gone" Yes,
uncle.n "Do you know Who took
them I" ell suppose | did,
nncie." "Yes, Pelton, guess you
hid. You are bad man, Pelton,
and an ungrateful nephew"