West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1879-12-20

masters success, exclaimed, "Lor,
master, there's a covey; ifyoa get near
'em WON'T you physic 'em 80 "Physic
them, you young rascal? what do you
mean?" said the doctor. "Why. Kill
'em to be sure" replied the lad.
a COUPLE of young men staying un-
considerably late one night with their
sweethearts, were surprised 10 see the
old man" looking about the hall ana
finally the parlOr a. though i'm search
of something. "What are YOU looking
for, paF' at last asked one of the girls.
The morning. papers," growlcd The
old man, aud the young men took
hasty leave.
GIvgyOur neighbor u helping hand by
him 20 keep Or. Bull'S
Baby syrup in his family for all the Ills
babies are subject to.
The boy who substitutes living for
a dead hornet in the collection OLA
near-sighted entomologist. and then
asked the man of science TO show him
where the insects sting ia located,
should be held responsible for any re-
ligious sentiments the victim may adj
vance.
An impcrtinent fop made sport Of an
old farmers large nose, mouth and
chin, but the old farmer silenced him
by saying, " Your nose, meutn an Thin
all had 20 be made small so that there
would be material enough left tor yoar
check"
81 WISH you would pay n little more
attention to what / am saying, sir"
roared lawyer TO an eXasperating
witness. 81 am paying as little alter
tion as can, - was the calm reply.
An lrishman was accused Of stealing
a handkerchief of fellow traveller,
but the owner on finding it apologizsd
to Pat, and said that it was a mistake.
"Arrah, my Jewell" retOrted Pat, lit
was twO-sided mistakc-vou took me
far thaif, and | took you for a gentle
man.
THE hand dat rocks the cradle IS
the hand that moves the earth. DIR.
Bulls BABY Syrup Is the best remedy
Tor all complaints children are subject
To, such a Dysenterv, Diarbna, sum
mer Complaint, Wind Collie, etc. Price
- cents.
The subject of conversation at an
evening entertainment was the lutelli-
gence of animals, particularly of dogs.
says Smith-"There arc dogs that have
more sense than their masters" Just
So" responds young Fitznoodle, GIVE
got that very kind of dog myself"
THE following explanation of legal
term is offered by Teutonic member
OF the Canton police force: "Nen / ret
me out Il hapeas scopius | can chust so
veil catch man where he amt rs
where he Isl
"MoNEY does everything for a man, :"
said an old gentleman pompouslv.
Yes" replied the other one, "but
money won't do as much for man as
some men will do for money"
The young lady who aspIres to be
admitted to the ranks of the legal pro-
fession does not reflect that the graft
1catiOn of her ambition would only
make her a bar-maid.
\ ?yFoRrE CoUGH REMKDY.-For
Colds, Sore Throat. Asthma. Catarrh
ana other diseases OF the bronchial
tubes, no more useful article can be
found than the well-known "Bro,on's
| bronchial TrocLes.
MAMMA said Harry Thomas, a
bright little fellow living over i'm AL
giers, Mamma, have my toes cot
eyes?" "No, my darling; why DO
you ask such a foolish question %
Because my foot's asleep"
FATHER: "And 50 papa's dear little
boy is very i'll. Now Is there anything
! can get him that Will make him feel
bettcr?' Invalid 81 don't know. pa
pa-but-I think would like a gong. 4"
MISTRESS Ito her late servant)-
well, Mary, how have you been since
you left me, and where are you living
now?" Ye seryant-"Please ma'am
don't live anywhere, ma'am; Pm
married, ma am
AMATKUE Compossr---"Heard my
last new song?' Candid Friend(with a
perCcptible shudder) OH. Lori hone