St. Landry democrat., 1879-08-30
1l1aias And 1l1hims'

"A set speech--one in type.
The song of the top-Hum again.
-" Hair Ia moved" is a New Yolk
expression.
What is the riddle OF riddles Lifep,
for we all have to give it up.
"A man who owns good oil well is'
said to live on the fat of the land.
The saddest words of tongue or pen:-
" I intend to pay; I can't say when."
."This can't be beat" as the mar
said when he bought the porcelain egg.
-" The poor you have with you al
ways" but the rich 60 away in summer
time.
There is a plant in southern Texas
known familiarly as the devil. 1t gets
its dew.
AS a rule mankind finds it more
blessed to give than to receive a practi'
cal joke.
1t is q peculiar feature of the butter
market that bad article outranks a
good one.
-" Stage struck" remarked the toad,
when the wheels of loaded omnibus
ran ever his hesd.
Moses never had the gout. This,
says the Boston Post, was one of the
missed aches of Moses.
This is the time of year when the
sentimental youth names rowboat after
his girl and has it painted green.
Cunning men allwuss git beat at
the long run, bekauze they are just as
dull on one side az they are sharp on the
other.
The rooster that will leave his crow
half crowed, to gobbIe worm, may not
be musical success, but We will bet on
him for all that.
.."M Ny dear sir, adore your daugh'
ter, and 7 wish to ask for her hand"
"But I have two, which one will you
have?" EITHER"
When baby stuffs his toe into his
mouth he little realizes how hard it will
b. for him in later years to make both
ends meet.
Out in west Philadelphia yesterday
a man knocked three story house down
with single blow of a hammer-he was
an auctioneer.
One man asked another why his
beard was so brown and his hail was so
white. Because he replied, zone is
twenty years younger than the other"
All that kno about good LUX or
bad LUX il this-our good LUX We attribit
to our shire wdness, our bad lux we charge
to sumboddy's else ackount.-[ Josh Bill
ings.
Some, one asked the master of q
colored servant why the latter always
wore an irreproachable white cravat.
$50 as to know where his head begins"
replied the master.
"A New Haven paper says that a
man can stroll out into the lots and woods
and stumble over rough ground fer half
a day Sunday and enjoy himself ;sbut if
his wife had requested his company to
church he would have been "teo used
up to stir out of the house."
The clam chowder man on the Nor.
ristown Herald remarks: "The idea of
Prof Swift getting out of bed at l
o'clock a. m. to go hunting for new
planets! And when he captures one he
can't sell it for fifteen cents. There is
more money in CLANS"
Every time the average citizen at>
tends circus, he remarks in disguised
manner, When you gee one circus you
see ALL" And to prove the truth of the
statement he attends. each succee ling
arenic exhibition with scrupulous regs
ularity.
The police of Chicago had occasion
to make a raid upon the Office of q
ticket " "scalper in that city, and among
the stock discovered were passes and one
thousand mile tickets to the value of
nearly $4,000, which had been granted
by railroad companies to various individ-
uals, and by them disposed of for a
money consideration.
The latest dodge by which chsri,
table people of England are imposed
upon is very simple but ingenious one.
A man, carefully, but plainly dressed
visits sthe churches, is overcome by
faintness during the service, falls into
the aisle and is carried out, to the great
disturbance of the congregation. a
pitiful tale of starvation andwant is
told in the vestry when the man revives,
and, of course, a~colAction is made to
relieve the pangs of hunger which the
"poor man" suffers.