Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1879-01-07

SOM FUNNY THINGS THAT A OoLoRED WEST
NAN kxHoRTER HAS TO SAY ABOUT COLO
MEL IsGKssoLL's VIEWS.

MEL IsGKssoLL's vIEws.
The advent Of Colonel Bob Ingersoll in
Louisville was not unnoticed BY Uncle
jim johnson, . unique genius in his way,
and bis Interpretation Of the Scriptures is
both novel and interesting. Yesterday he
preached on "Hell and Moses" and tried
20 stem the current Of unbelief which
Colonel Bob had started among 3 few OF
Uncle Jim's hearers. The colored crater
took for his text the passage from Luke.
II came to send FIRE upon the earth"
"You hAb all OBJ you heard" said he,
lob Massa Bob Ingersoll. who did right
smart fer de eullud people in de rebellion,
for which / gibs him my felicitAtiOn. Dat
is one good spot in MAssA IngersOll's life.
But, you see it amt gwine to do fer US to
be posed upon by these here fluctuations
Oh his on de sacret forum OBJ religion
We'se got to let de politics slip out an
reason about de matter like men Of cul-
chah. We must let our feelins slip
around loose an pick up de pints OBJ re-
hgion, which is q gift OBJ Jesus himself.
beiieb dar's some OBJ you darkies here
tonight OATS been stickin up to Massa
BOb's religion. has my eye on you now.
! tell you now, as shakes my finger at
you, dat yOu'se sliding down de hill into
De pic OBJ hell FIRE, an unless somebody
catches you by de cost-tsil you'se gone
nissers. / has you now by de oOAt-tsils
holding you from de burning pit; if you
don't belieb what Use gwine to say, | let's
you slip. You needn't try to 'suade your
selves in your pride and vanity Of spirit
dat dere amt no hell. Why, | sees de
tAmes circlin' ana swoOpin' ArOun' you
now like hungry buzzArd.
"Msssa Ingersoll in his lecture on He'll
and Moses complains ob de lack ob science
in dem days What for dey want science
aen7 What did dey all want Wild our
yaporstiOns, Electricity and SIGH 'ven,ions
Of de day? Oh cease We whites away de
time in scienti6cs and sich, an We can't
do widout 'em. But dey didn't have no
use for SIGH instruments way back yOnder
in de darkness ob de past
"MsSs Bob says DAT 'cordin to de
Scriptures a chile had to gib up two pig
cons fur de sacrifice, an desc here pig
cons went to de three priests, an dat each
oh &c parsons would hab to eat two hun
dred Oh de fowls Now you knows, you
vicious niggers, dat as long as de priests
had plenty Of cullud gemmen to wait on
de table dat dere was no danger OBJ dc
priests estin' too much
"He says in his speech at de Op'ra
House dat finite don't hab de permission
70 commit sin against de Infinite. Now
dat nonsense on de face OBJ it You 90
out IL dc street an take q razor an cut
somebody's throat. If you amt got no
particularly about you, jus you try once
an you'll be rested by de policeman an
scented before Judge Dupuy. SpOse de
judge says to you, 'SambO. is you guilty
or not guilty. and suppose you says 'I'se
unguilty, because yO1'se a Infinite and
Use finite Would de Judge be likely
% say. Take harp and 20 your way?
81 wants DOW TO call your 'teDtion 10
de food an de ark MaSsa Ingersoll, be
DO old Noer injustice. He says he war
not married when be vas Eve hundred
years old. Now dat want Ncer's blame
He couldn't help hisself. Anyhow, Noer
war den what you might specify a young
feller. BE want as old as de young men
OBJ twenty to-day. De Bible didn't say
nuhng about his smokin' desc vile cigars.
nor dulgin in 'toIicatin' drinks, nor fool,
IN wi4 tad girls, an earryin' on like de
sport gemmen do now. De fac Is, bred
ren, Dat NOer didn't hAb de 'ciiues dat
We hsb Case why? Well, he couldn't
put notice in de paper sayin' he want
cd 10 carry on Wild = girl, an de steam
boats wArn't den much count, an be
couldn't trabel. Masss Bob amt got no
revrebce for nufhng. bredren. He has de
'dscity 20 'serI dat de count OBJ de food
Is lie he uses 6ggers, which you all
knows Is de biggest liars in De world, to
prove dat il rAined seven hundred feet
ebbeIy day. Well, spose it did, Don't
you spOse de Almighty knoved what he
vas gwine to do? de had dc food All
ranged before hand; he had dc water all
'cunulsted on hand. Oats whsr he beat
de bad fellers; and when cherry thing was
ready, be let de liquid OOze out in lump,
an 1t 6lled de earth. Now den you mig
gers, BELIEF in MAssa Bob if you has de
'dscity. -Louisville Courier-J ouruAl, No