The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1879-06-06
A Story From the Morse.


Once upon time there was a man so sury
and cross, that he never thought his wife did
any thing right in the house. So one evening
in hay-making time, lie came home scolding
and showing his teeth and making dust.
Dear love, don't be SO angry; there's a
good man" said his goody; tomorrow let's
change our work. I'll go out with the NOW
ers and NOW, and you shall mind the house u
| Yes the husband thought that wonld do
very we'll He was quite willing, he said.
So early next morning, his goody took a
scythe over neck, and went out into the hay
| field with the mowers, and began to NOW
| but the man was to mind the house. and do
| the work at home
First of all, he wanted to churn the butter
but when he had churned while, he got
| thirsty, and went down to the cellar to tap
| barrel of ale. So, just when he had knock
cd in the bung, and was putting the tap into
the cask, he heard overhead the pig come into
the kitchen. Then off he ran up the cellar
| steps with the tap in his hand, as fast as he
could, to look after the pig lest it should up
set the churn; but when he got up, and saw
the pig had already knocked the churn over,
and stood there, roofing and granting
amongst the cream which was running all
over the floor, he got so wild with rage, that
| he quite forgot the ale barrel, and ran at the
pig as hard as he could. He caught it too,
just as it ran out of doors, and gave it such a
kick, that piggy lay dead on the spot. Then
all ut once he remembered he had the tap in
his hand; but when he got down to the Gel
lar, every drop of ale had run out
Then he went into the dairy and found
enough cream left to fill the churn again, and
so he began to churn, for butter they must
have at dinner. When he had churned bit,
ia m IL no
still shut up in the byre, and hadn't had bit
to eat or u drop to drink all the morning,
| though the sun was high. Then all at once
he thought twas too far to take her down to
the meadow, so he'd just get her up on the
house top-for the house you must know, was
| matched with sods and a fine crop of grass
was growing there. Now their house lay
close up against u steep down, and he thought
| if he laid plank across to the thatch at the
| back he'd easily get the COW up.
But still he couldn't leave the churn, for
| there was his little babe crawling about on
the floor, and eff leave il" he thought, "the
| child is sure to upset it." So he took the
| churn on his back and went out with it but
| then he thought he'd better first water the
COW before he turned her out on the thatch
so he took up the bucket to draw water out
| of the well, but as he stopped down at the
| churn over his shoulders, and so on down
into the well.
Now it was near dinner-time and he hadn't
| even got the butter yet; so he thought he'd
best boil the porridge, and filled the pot with
water, and hung il over the fire. When he
had done that, he thought the cow might
perhaps fall off the thatch and break her legs
or neck. So he got up on the house to tie
her up. One end Of the rope he made fast to
| the cows neck, and the other he slipped
down the chimney and tied round his own
| thigh; and he had to make haste for the wa
ter now began to boil in the pot, and he had
still to grind the oatmeal.
So he began to grind away but while he
was hard at it, down fell the COW off the
housctop after all, and as she fell, she dragged
the man up the chimney by the rope. There
he stuck fast; and as for the COW she hung
half way down the wall, swinging between
heaven and earth, for she could neither get
down nor up.
And now the goody had waited seven
lengths and seven breadths for her husband
to come and call her home to dinner but new
er n call they had. At last she thought she'd
waited long enough. and went home. But
when she got there and saw the COW hanging
in such an ugly place, she ran up and cut the
rope in two with her scythc. But as she did
this down came her husband out of the Chin
ney; and so when his old dame came inside
| the kitchen, there she found him standing on
his head in the porridgc pot.