davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20
Poverty mi Snaet.iIni,s...,I

II was dragged down with debt, nov.
erty and suffering ior years, caused b. d
sick family and largo bills toV. .loOtoFing,
which did them no good IyrGas com.
pletCly discouraged, until ono y ySs loo.
BY tho adyiee Of N.Y. lqsl6 q procured
Hop BiHers and commenced their use,
and in ono month We were all%ell, and
none OF us have been sick q day since (;
and ! want to say TO all poor mon, you
can keep your families wen d year with
Hop Bitters for less than one doctors visit
will cost-I know It. a WoREINGNGS."
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20
stflEUBENVuLE.A
The city sakiaf W Dliappe 9ralce fof
An Old Eye Sore-The 1taydrillty Con.
test-The Coming MprlieF TIM

The CITY wakiaf " Dlgappel raleef ol
An Old I'VE Sore-The MRydrl{ity Con.
test--The Coming Murder TrIail
a sfEunEsvrLtE, March 10, ts59.,
Correspondence Of The IniSlligrneur.
= steubenville has at last awoke from her
Rip Van Wrinkle sleep, and is now stretch
ing herself for SONG brilliant achievements
in the coming year, IN short she has got
her bloOd upSand don't intend-being an
obscure, little nactiyeloealityauy longer,
but u lively, wideawalse city, equal TO any
otherin the State Of ohlol Within alle
last two months she has done 1noreioB,the
welfare Of herself and inhabitants rtllai
for several year., ind EVERYONE can testify
to this bythespirit Of industry andi btisis
ness which they can see on every stEeqt
One gallant step forward ,Kasnthe IRE.
moving Of that old eyesqES the market
housei or, as II could more appropriately
be called, tho lbaiets' asylum, (which
brought into our city Golfers last year
the enormous sum Of Slf 4 almost enough
10 keep our City Council il tobacco, live
can hardly imagine why they RACED II TO
the ground, When II was the source oi 50
much reverence, unless Ii was for tile
purpose Of having q. suitable place for cir
euses, In order that the Gennt " officials
wouldn' have 70 walk 80 lar 70 see the ele,
plant. ~
Tho Republican primaries are over, and
everything within political citeleslmbyes
along quietly, The result MAS " antici!
pated, Irwin being nominated Bpt, IN:
deed, i was unjust the way The ttglendfS3 q
Sir Robert, the temperance apostle failed
to Lore. hint t the polls He Who Eanted
70 rule our gity without IeqJI IqlFQr OF. pfe-
tiorl.p Our big heart really feels sorry for
Col. Bob; but still the igolo nel don tcaFeJ
and why should wei He is out riding bis
hobby agaln, among the Western cities,
battling with that demon, rum. SoiTe
will brush away, the. Synp9 thi7i1g tear
and think no more his defeat. n
The next and final contest. lies, between
Marion, the Democratic, and Irwin, the
Republican nominee; and as both men arc
quite popular We IndS expect q rather eX.
citing contest Marion is well sustained
by the better class OF citizens; and is, IN
fact, liked by all, Still heyYil have oidp
some very heavy work 4 he triumphs
over Jack, Tor 1t Unjust be known that irwin
understands how to work up an election
about as wellias any other Imam in ithe
city. Little, deeds aot kindness 70, d
great way With some people no teg..,
Court matters hRye been going on in
their usual apiet manner, sSs far Is The
term has advanced hptlit Yill no Doubt
BECOME one ol interest and excitement
before II over, ~ ssewaEt, the murderer
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20
DIetI OF his wounds.

ST. LOUIS, March l0,+5A LeaRenworth,
Kansas, dispatch says; D!iB, Smith, who
was wounded by o. b. Latin during an
alteration in the Planters House on Mon.
day morning, died this m0fningIat 5 80.
Tho latter appeared for eSaniinGtion,s but
the casewas postponed until Tomorrow,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20
CEALED PROPOSALS.
err cLERx,s opyrcr,

WHKRLING, W. Va, March II, 1879.
Sealed proposals will be received At the Once Of the
CITY Cleik until THURSDAY, March q, 1879, Al IL
n, iof Tie removal Of all Kitchen Garbage Rud Oaa
trou within the city limits for the year commencing
April !, 1873, the bids 70 be ~ follows
Ward.
EoI =, Second District comprising the Second and
Fourth Wards.
ROr The Fourth IstIet, comprising ali south Of
Wheeling Creek % CaldEells Run.
for the Filth District comprising all south Of Cald-
NelfI Run 10 the SJuthirn line Of The city.
No pe1on Will be awarded contract Tor more thHn
one district. Proposals. 10 b addressed toths Chair
man 81 the Committee on Health, the Committee
rtses sn,nS tue Hgnt 70 relsei any Or al bids.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20
NLERR's OFFICE, BOARD OF COM
~ AlBS10NERS, OHIO COUNTY, E...

n an RAom q Nsy oDAerA 80 '''''
TAXI HoTcE-fhAt the FINANCE COMMITTEES
q the Board Of Commissioners for Ohio County, ~ :
Board Of Equalization and Appeals, viii convene a
DAY, MARCH 27Lh, 1919, at i0A, ~. 10 hear and
determine al complaints Of unequal valuations Of rial
eaAto and erroneous assessments, and will continue
their seaEion 70 APRIL "a All applications 70 b 10
MARCH nh.
10 u 'ls1,-i "a aEo. H. CARNAHAN,
Chalrman Com. on Finance and AceounLs
CHA6. Il DEITERS,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20
10 THE PUBLIC-HAVING

Office TO THE PUBLIC-HAVING
~ re-entered the Auction BuslnSSS, am nov Pre-.
pared % attend y all business that may b entrusted
70 ne Special attention given 70 The sale Of HouIe-
bod Furniture The patronage o. paitel who aFe re.
ufing from housekeeping and are DESTROYS Of dis
itT vii h located a The well known bufne,S GtSnd
No VEleventh street opposite lower Ond Of MaFkot
Hoult, where viii b prepared 10 receTe eonslTn.
msnt- Prompt attention given 70 buIlneSs, Com.
mnnieations through Pnlt0tce attended To- RAIpect-
iAly, GEO. A. WlCKHAM, Anetioneer. mhi7
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20
EsIlsa T.aIlI pntas.Is.,.Ii,,

RASKRuPToY MOTTO -, 4
u lhs pL.hie c0urtoI the uatsd Stats, pitrist o
. West sYirsinai ID BankruPtcH Ia the matter o
ID Notice y efpby giIen that petition has been d
on the l2th day 81 September, A. D. 1878 Sled Il
Md DlStriep Court by tSebh W.PeFrolI, who hRs
6ee9 hsretoioIe dnly aeslAIed bankrupt under III,
rupicy, and that the 18th day Of March, IeTg At II
9el0ek A. M al the ote6 o. 4. J. HnguS ReiIt6r IL
RankEuptey H0.7l Twelfth Etreet tp staiisl IN ID
pEisS RSSlFned ri he hearins Wien ana EheFs yoT
may attend and allow tltit6, II any yOu hare Why
The pay9 pi abe S.ition Sherld not Be granted. !
tIstE u tRsTbnSa sa et csar /. "a ~ 81.
Z 5tfItt biHV6lt virginia! 1JiIId !fiJs imhIS.Th
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20

DlTTSBuRGH, WHEELING KENTUCKY
i RAIL ROAD ooMPANY.-The annual mrStin
q the ltOekhelden Of the Pittsburgh, Y heeiInS
Aentucky Railroad Company will be held at the Ofce
the city q Wheeling W. Va, on THURSDAY,
MARCH n, 1879, At O'clock p NJ. for the puTpOSS o
holding an election for Directors 10 lsrTS fof he e.
pFoPSfiy come btiCFe Ihe meeting. ''-'
Lil J. N. BELLvILLE, Secretary,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20
Speas.amI eQia:laIls.s.sIs.ltl.. - 3
AJGARDi5.
.ste-e-.-....l...-..-s--...-...s.sll .II..i.

a CARD!9tH ~
To all who arc suffering from he srrora and lids
erelons Of youth nervous early decay, los
Of manhood, &C., Viii send recipe. that vim euro
you FREE OF en- RdE This great feHphs5y Mas
discovered BY missionary 10 South &msrieSs' sebd
scli-lddressed envelope 10 Ghe RGy JosssA 7, d.
't4 5sIys, sttss p Bpz 8o s &, 1 etlas.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20

EilnSgos13. That Il any person shall will.
fully break 0riniure any public lamps OF
lamp-posts, .0Fshall cut oil the gas, or in
any way eStinguish the same when light.
ed,by authority Of the city OF persons EN-.
pl6yedBy said trustees, he or she shall
forfeit and pay 10 tho city d fine OF
not less than live nor more than twenty
dollars aud in defanltof said fine and
costs shall DO sentenced to labor at any OF
itbepablic works for aperiod not exceed.
ing thirty days; provided, however, that
II default be made by q female, she shall
be imprisoned for not less than five nor
more than thirty days
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20
SEALED PROPOSALS.
err CLEIE's oTVlcE

err cLEnk's oTYicE, !
i"I WHEEtlNO, W. Va, March II, 1879.
eelsd proposals. vii b resolved at the Once Of the
City Clerk until TIL URSDAY, March 27Ih, isT9 Al n
~ Toe tuTnlShing medicines 70 tho eity upon he rS
teTiption Of the Health 0HeeT, for one year, from
April 1872 Proposals. 10 DO addressed % the Chair
man Of the COmmittOgOn Health. the ComnittSe 70.
serving the right 70 reject any or ali bids.
mhlf ALE&l uPbEGRAFF, City Clerk,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20
.RA8KRtRTGY .N0f1eE.-

ID y sF7FIlplfl I9i''5f 77ilfegs'ti ta ffirl
IN The District U6dtt 81 the Uhiel State, for The
Dbtrietl o. RGtt eiHyiblR, IN Bankruptcy, In the
a4tieEot Dana n up6bara, bankrupt.
Notice Is hereby Owen that 1 petition has BEEN 70
tFiCt Court BY Dana l. Hubbard, who has been here
tAipfe duly declared bankrupt under the Revised
Stltptel d the United States, IItle Bankruptcy"
and that The 10Th q March, 1872 II O'Clock A. w. al
tho ofoo Of 4, " HuguS RgEiSiCrIn Bankruptcy, No
Twelfth stTpet kup EiaiU), 10 the city Of Wheeling
10 aid an The time Apd place iaiEnbd ior The
heahnS, when md where you may attend and show
eaaIe{t 33Iy9n have, Why ths PrSytr et sAld Peti-
- W. e'IS W JAsPERY. MOORE
iciett u unlSi slAiSs District Cout fSE Tie DiS.
u tfIet Of Wet RirginiA.gtd ll l.mblS-Th
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20
|. Administering

's1T a.i7- naun',l aiiit ,na
T." 5ira- ,sll3g- 9li!
t9 ~ 81. t1e i@mupyt- /
7arrFfH Hse -4 laFGt
'7 1'l' ~ Dai " jfili
Z. "' "3ut. sai.s sUiI (
Gl1.r aIrH
% ~, l'-asa 4l-Iia. .iu-G,,r 90
''..A - tT"e"t ,E goi.
i.r ~ Ej'a}al lai..l 1
Ha-'" ria W -GgJ IL uoe.yt
y iifrga 7Hi - iFlng.bni iEJsH.H 90 I
rt.Et, aanEHN It iI5m A
tlsa ts. aaa
T. . rTMAfuralpi
yn nA pH1' sg'a71fsil gs
'tsa af ANB .gmn
7Ei 'AiiH'a'i 1i.i 9ii,GEti
a1t le s..rgfo gGIl I
". HH l.h t-I gIT
fs,i 7rti % u i.sh ylrligA gili /,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20

HRUSTEEs. SALE, OF CHAPLINE
i STREET RESIDENCE-by virtue Of deed Of
trust tuadOl By Daniel; Cushing and wife 70 me- a
NOT Folio iG Vim 6let ii G6IO ii lie front door
q the Court House ol Ohio county, On SATURDAY,
FEBRUARY 8, ts7s, d t6oelotk 4. ". the following
described property t6Nlt; Lot No 49, situated on the
streets, Centre Wheelihk no Ha5G as lIGff
TERls or fSLLE, n 0le-thIrd Tor - much more a
the purchaser may elect % pay III cash and the bal.
Ance Ia equal inStAlments M DR., twelve, eighteen
aud tEenty.tour months, With Bir per cent inter
st. The deferred payments 70 10 secured BY
deed o. trust. on THE Property sold and an lnSuf.
anee 70 the amoant Of 5000 Tor The beneht Of the
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20
GREENWOOD CEMETERY.

The Stockholders in Greenwood Cemetery
vii meet at the office Of the Cemetery, 1870
Main street. on THURSDAY, 9th inst, be-.
tween the hours OF two and four O'Clock +. ~.
for the election Of Directors to serve during
the ensuing year. re. BoNHAM, Sec'y,
II r MARCH q nnhl.Ftf
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20

tel7 49,, 80, e p. HlLDRETH, Trustee.
~ H0''' ma tttt-LElsEp atIi -ki tGIFf =
The sale q the cuslnE property b adjourned unit
sA4JgyykpAfi MARCH Sth, 4 4 ~ S,sl9sE =: 4.
isfia9l ole ,xH :. Z. Alhlfp Is Trustee
The above nls IspoStpousd up.ll SATURDAY
March ~, at 10 o'clock A. Y, n the lam0 place,
apAi0. sT,., f.,y,,.s,s; P. HIi,DRETH, TruEtee.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20

In obedlsnee 70 ID 6d6, entered on The ltth d,y a
March, ls7p ~ Tie pisflet Cdart q the United StIeS
or lhs Rsifs q yS.t lstpIa 10 the eaSe Of john
against The Steamboat B. ThlnhanSOT, ker at
glRes, Tackle outat apparel and tuFnIturo, GhaIl
Ptpete % en- a public ineibi 10 the highest and
besl bidder slld EVamtoat an 3. Thanha IiS0F y ~
II The pyblIe landing 65t II TVelfth itFen. Ia nv
etydi Rheetng, Wet HlFsihii, % y. : " : =
'wEbNEspAY, TIE 2sra Day ORHARcR, ISip.
sle " eoahtasg Il 70 e'sIbSE I. ~ n i..a >.
Terms o. Sliet o41h. u lEina4sTg8H sSfrs,f y
r. slFlk 4, St1rI (, p eREtL, Depu,y.
- u. 8. SiSfshdi, fDstistwtt yfsdpIs. X,
COCHRAN COctlRAh, sPHBeior ioF ubSilantI
.aelestl Nv. H.HALLER, AurtionAsp
nWgkEtisqi W "a, Aaseh, is, ia. milf
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20
S. HORKHEIMER & CO.,
LIQUOR sN05E BUSINESS

.hniR iyid 9di ~ iru9laE ne h,,oll
at tAelp Sew stanlI itThey alb shhIs resIyed me-
solssSeneE iSrjwsst NirsiaisOll aYad sg.,lir,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-03-20
- II, s, P, HT1DRETH, Trursee.
WitEKLtNO, January s, lsTD lili - n Tf7lI Z

The ibove ale Is postponed until SATURDAY
MORNING, PBBRUARY u, a 70 O'clock AN,
. tebl0 8, P. HILDRETH, Trustee.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-06-18
Pastor JOhnSOn'S Sermon

1t is sad truth that people are apt
to give to the church what they can
spare as well as not, and then regard
themselves as very liberal. There are
still others who too closely resemble the
little girl who told her mother that th e
contrlbutlon-box was passed to her and
that there WAS lots of money in it, but
she didn't ia ke any out, expecting to be
praised for her self-denial. This is a
negative kind of Christianity, which
does little credit to the .worshipper.
Rev. Plato Johnson seems to have m et
this crisis In a recent sermon, and,
though his language is not particularly
choice, his ideas are very clear. He
said, at the conclusion of an eloquent
sermon, Brederen, de plate will now
pass aroun', an | has word to say on
de 'portant subjeck ov givin'. De peo-
piles wat puts bone buttons and lead
nickels inter de plate may pass for orful
free givers 'mongst der fellow sinners,
but de can't cheat de Lord. [ want to
press on your minds dat fact-dey can't
cheat de Lord. When de Lord said He
liked cheerful giver, He didn't hab
His eyes on dat sort Oh trash. You
can put this down as a sartin shore
thing, brederen, dat those wat gibs de
chu'ch wat dey has no use fur them
selves, won't git no free pass inter glory.
In de day OBJ Judgment de Lord will
say to SIGH men, don't know you
bone button fellers, go sit on de back
seats, quick. Now, den, pass de
plates"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-06-18
Facts Concerning Locomotives.

A locomotive, travelling at the ordi,
nary rate of thirty miles an hour, per-
forms A feet per second, and at 20
miles an hour, los feet per second
Two objects near a traveller, yard
apart, pass his eye in the thirty-fifth
part of second. When two trains
having this speed pass each other. the
relative velocity will be 70 yards per
second; and, if one of the trains were
20 yards long, it would flash by in a.
single second. To accomplish this,
supposlng the driving-wheeis to be 7
feet in diameter, the piston must
change its direction in the cylinder 10
times in second. But there are two
cylinders. and the mechanism is So
regulated that the discharges of steam
are alternate. There are, therefore.
20 discharges of steam per second, at
equal intervals, and the 20 exhausts
divide a second into 20 equal parts,
each puff having twentieth of a Sec
ond between it and that which pre-
cedes and follows it. The ear, like the
eye, is limited in the rapidity of its
sensations; and, sensitive as that organ
is, it is not capable of distinguishing
sounds which succeed each other at
intervals of the twentieth part of sec
Ond.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-06-18
Adventure With a Devil Fish.

Mr.. Beale, an Englishman, who had
gone ashore on one of the BONN Islands
to look for shells, noticed suddenly at
his feet an extraordinary looking ami
NAL crawling toward the serf, which it
had evidently only just left. 1t was
creeping on it's eight legs, which, from
their soft and flexible nature, bent con-
sidera bly, under the weight of its body,
SO that it was lifted by its efforts but
little above the rocks. 1t appeared
much alarmed at seeing him, and made
every effort to escape. Mr.. Beale en-
deavored to stop it by pressing on one
of its legs with his foot; but although
he used considerable force for that
purpose, its strength was so great that
it several times liberated its limb in
spite of all the efforts he could employ
on the wet and slippery rocks. He
then laid hold with his hand, of one
of the tentacles in which its limbs ter
minated, and held it firmly, so that it
appeared as if the limb would be torn
asunder by the united efforts of him
self and the creature. He then gave it
a powerful jerk, wishing to disengage
1T from the rocks to which it chung so
tOrclbly With Its suckers. This effort 1t
effectualiy resisted; but the moment af-
ter, the apparently enraged animal lifted
his head, with its large projecting eyes,
and sprang upon Mr.. Beale's arm, ana,
loosening its hold upon the rocks,
chung to it by means OF its suckers
with great power, endeavoring to get
its beak, which could now be seen, be-
tween the roots of its arms, in posi-
ton to bite, A sensation of horror
pervaded Mr.. Beale's whole frame when
he found that this hideous animal had
fixed SO firmly on his arm. Its cold,
Shiny grasp was extremely sickening,
and he called loudly to the captain,
who came and released him by des-
troying his tormentor with boat-knife,
which he accomplished by cutting away
portions at time.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-06-18

according to the agreement, and the
wife got her into the back room and
stabbed her to death. The wife then
cut steak out of the dead woman's
leg and packed the body under the bed.
The shoemaker came home and ate his
dinner. The wife asked him how he
liked the meat. He answered that it
was the best he had ever eaten. The
wife then told him he had eaten part
of the prettiest leg in Mexico He
asked her what she meant. She show
ed him the body under the bed, and
made dash at him with a knife, but
he escaped and ran to the Palacio and
told the Judge what mad happened.
The Judge summoned a guard of SOL
dlers and went to the house. He asked
the wife if she had committed the muir
der, and she answered yes and attempt
ed to Justify the act. he ordered her to
be shot on the spot, by the soldiers, and
his orders were promptly obeyed."
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-06-18
''DOWE Fine"
Detroit free Press.

"Get your tickets at the wagonl"
screamed the doorkeeper of the circus
yesterday to young man with a girl on
his arm who had a handful of small
change. "This is the third time YOU
have come here without tickets, when
you know [ can't take money"
The young man fell back, and as thew
did not 60 near the ticket wagon, and
yet seemed very anxious to see the cir
Gus, curious-minded citizen adged
around and inquired of the young man:
"Why don't you buy tickets if you
want to go in?'
80 Cause Pm short" was the whispered
reply. ~ didn't low enough for Incl
dentals when [ was fggering on the
cost of this thing, butt don't want the
gal to know it,
How much are you short?"
"Only five cents. [ figgered that ten
shillings would pay all expenses, but [
got left. We spent ten cents for pea
nuts, ten cents on the street cars, and
five in candy. had Just dollar left
to pay our way in, when the gal got a
peanut shuck in her throat and [ had
to buy glass Of lemonade to wash it
down. Didn't do 1T though, till | had
pounded her on the back more'n fifty
times and tried to pull one o. them fire
hydrants up by the roots!"
"Pll lend you five cents to make up
your dollar" said the citizen.
You will? By gosh! but that lets
me out! I'd made up my mind to tell
the gal that the tigers had got loose and
the hyenas had run mad, but she's long
headed and might not have believed it,
Thankee, sir, and the fust time Pm in
town I'll pay it back. Hang it, l orter
tiggered on 'leven shilllngs, stead of
ten, but you've made me happy for
life. Come, Bets0
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-06-18

impatient question sometimes and to
regard it from a humorous point of
view instead of becoming irritated
about it. "What, what is the reason /
can never find a clean shirt" exclaimed
good, but rather impatient husband,
after rummaglng through the wrong
drawer. His wife looked at him stead
ilv for moment, half inclined to be
provoked, then with comical look she
replied:-"I never could guess conun-
drums; | must give it up" Then he
laughed, and they both laughed, and
she went and got his shirt, and he felt
ashamed of himself and kissed her, and
then she felt happy; and so what might
have been an occasion for hard words
and unkind feelings became just the
contrary, all through the little vein of
humor that cropped out to the surface.
Some children have peculiar faculty
for giving d humorous turn to things
when they are reproved. 1t does just
as well often-times. Laughter is better
than tears. Let us have little more
at home.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-06-18
HumOr in the Family.

Good humor is rightly reckoned a
most valuable aid to happy home life.
An equally good and useful faculty is
sense of humor or the capacity to have
a little fun along with the humdrum of
life. We all know how it brightens up
things generally to have lively, witty
companion, who sees the ridiculous
points of things, and who can turn any
annoyance into an occasion for laugh
ter. 1t does a great deal better to laugh
over some domestic mishaps than to
cry or scold over them. Many homes
and lives are dull because they are al
lowed to become too deeply impressed
with sepse of the cares and RESPONSE
bllltles of life to recognize its bright and
especially its mirthful side. Into such
a household, good, or dull, the advent
OF witty, humorous friend is like sun
shine to cloudy day. While it is OBJ
pressive to hear people constantly striv
ing to say witty or funny things, it is
comfortable, seeing what a brightener
little fun Is, to make an effort to have
some at home. 1t is well 10 turn off an
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-06-18
An Old Story in a New Dress.

You would hardly expect to find wit
among the Indians, and yet they are
just as human as the rest of us, and in
spite of their stoicism indulge in a joke
now and then which has flavor of it's
own. During a banquet which was
given by the pale faces to several red
men, one of the Indians took spoon
full of mustard, supposing it to be some
delicacy. The tears came into his eyes.
He could die without finching, but a
spoonful of mustard was something
which even his heroic soul could not
endure, so he wept profusely, even as
white men do sometimes. The chief,
who sat opposite, asked him why he
cried. He naturally replied that he
was thinking of his old father, who died
a horrible death. A few minutes after
the chief himself fell upon the mustard
pot, and swallowed more than was
necessary. The tears came into his
eyes, too. A thousand tomahawks
were nothing, but the pungent quality
of the mustard made him weep like a
child. "And why do you cryF' asked
the first victim, with savage delight in
his tone. "Well," was the quick re-
ply, II am crying because you were not
killed when your father was"