Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-11-07
Desroig Curresey.

Desreis csrresey.
A woman 81 Rscirs bzilt 0 snadge
10 drive the nosq altos assay. and thea
rod dime Bowel while IL basned an
$500 hoass.
u - .s:s :sss Hiaissipi has no IA
tionAl hanks, bat she partly makes up
for II by eve-AGged colt and Q Ean
vbo has nurded three wives.
A man ct Csntss Point, La, has just
dssd Of rsnorss for . crime committed
fosty-thrss years ego. Beoorss 10
nsver in hurry 10 kill . nan.
Yes, . AicAieHa woman Won tAs
prize ss the National Archery Toarna-
nens, bot can she bake Leaf Of good
bread and patch pair Of pants?
when will this tramp nuisance
end ." inquiries the IAser-Oessa. Raise
the sights on your shotgun TO 600
yards and then veil make prediction.
The number Of Indians in Florida
has been reduced 70 295 and pony,
and il they don't stop drinking whisky
the pony will soon be the only Indian
left.
A New York chemist has Q sponge
eight feet in circumference. II il only
had . cane and . stand.up collar ii
would beat its way out West in no time.
Just Is long Is Ben Butler has $780,.
600 to squander in O canvass of his
State he can find men who will con.
tend that he would make q boss Gov
ernor.
The lady who goes away for her
health and takes five trunks begins to
decline in weight the minute she dis.
covers that another lady has brought
six trunks.
A boy at Elmira, N. Y, got a re-
volver.cartridge in his nose, and il
wouldn't come out until his mother
boxed his ears. Conclusion is big
thing sometimes.
When this government decides to
strike off another new dollar we shall
be on hand to suggest that the owl
has been treated most shabbily in the
matter of portraits.
It is estimated that over SIS 600, 900 OF
money and valuable property is now
lying at the bottom Of Lake Michi-
gan, where the tax collectors are in.
vited to find and seize it.
The deposed superintendent of New
York schools has been cured of seeing
spooks, believing in ghosts, and look.
ing for the day of judgment, and be
now wants his old situation back.
A man who isn't sea.sick on q pro.
peller in q heavy sea, could stand be.
ing barreled up and rolled up and
down hill all day on the Fourth OF
July, to please people from the coun.
try.
It is Hannibal Hamlin's solemn
opinion that the soldier who suffered
with dysentery was as brave as the one
who charged a battery. This fixes
Hamlin all right in case of another
war.
One reason why men restore lost
wallets to their owners is because they
were seen to pick them up. A dark
night and o fat wallet would have
given even old Ben Franklin close
shave.
MlCu18hu 4uOlRu CHu PICK TWO
quarts of huckleberries while white
man is gathering q pint, but when it
comes to riding on the trucks to beat
q railroad company, the Indian, oh
where Is he?
Forty-fve years ago England con-
voted q man of murder and trans.
ported him. and only the other day
discovered that he was innocent and
pardoned him. That's too long be-
tween drinks.
There are several builds of small
boats which right themselves after
being swamped, but the people who
are in them are always just too late
to be righted with the boat. That's
something you can't patent.
A lady in Cincinnati attempted to
commit suicide because she could not
master the italian language. 1t does
seem hard that the young ladies OF
America cannot be placed on the same
footing with organ-grinders.