Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1879-09-03
FuNNY0HAPxs.

FUNNY0HAPHa.
i WREsrLERs work when they wrest.-
Bostos Post.
| QUAIL ON toast 10 worth two In the
brush.-New York Nail
4 IT is q wise chick that knows its own
ova.coat.-O On0ego Record.
RICH miner-I did mot know 1t va
loded.-Ne,o York Herald.
A WHITE man who had married ne
gress offered color blindness ~ an excuse.
BLESSED is the bee-holder, for II cells
its own honey and saves the commission.
-Erratic Enrique.
No tramps have been drowned while
bathing this season. The reason is OBJ
vious-none have yet bathed.
To make raspberry jam-put IS quarts
of the berries in your cont tail pocket
and sit on Waterloo Observer.
WE hear of men sowing Wild oats, but
who ever heard of woman sewing any.
thing but taresf-&. Louis'Joas,sdl
"YoU can't curry favor with me-"
said the mule, with . kick, when the
stable boy tried to groom him.
IT il noticeable fact that every man
who has seen the sea.serpent states that
its head is the size of beer cask.
CARE you wall howerf" he asked,
and she replied, No, / am wall Gir."
Then they waltzed.-Boston Consssercial
Bulletin.
How mems taste differ. One dropped
into his seat at the restaurant and muir
INJURED, Hot weather." and his neigh
Dor said "Cold mutton"
an Indiana medical student wears .
pair of shoes made of human skin. How
aptly does Hamlet exclain: ITO what
base shoeses we may return."
A YOUNG man at Long Branch was
boasting of his ancestry. BE said, In
the olden time they were very high"
Yes," said wag, "as high - Hannah"
"OH, NO, I'm not afraid of ghosts; in
deed, / rather like them; hand me fan,
Tom," and her bravery was rewarded
NeW Haven Rsgister.
The old goat tried to butt . circular
saw, and the subsequent proceedings
were but tri6e to what the bucklaw.-
N. Y. Nesos.
TIE philadelphia Bxlletia heads = col
umn criticize with. g Shall ~ afuw our
own sugar9" We answer Gweetly,
WED raise cane If We did" ."-Bostos
Bulletin
ONE of the gunners returning from tho
marshes was asked If he had shot any
thing. He said" No; but he had
given the birds good serenading.-
NesObswypovt Herald.
THTRKs many true word, &c.-LAnd-
lady Ito Smith, who's Just left his lug
gage 1t the station, and il hunting for
Iodgings); "Well, We are rather full just
now, l must say, but dare say We can
manage to take you iH."-Fxa.
TIE girl of the peried-Rusty Kate
St. Louis 1imes-JONsnaL The European
girl of the period-Tall Madge.- Yoscco6
1 &rosn. The African girl OF the period
l-Zu NmcinmaH Gazette.
SHi Don't give it away. We keep
bottle with . stick In 1t constantly ON
our table. And We find that 1t adds
much to tighten our editorial laborA It
paste to keep it, Yonkevs &atsswson.
"YOu seem sad and detected tonight,
Claude. dear" eyes, darling; men OF
my emotional nature are easily affected
either by the smiles or fr0wna Of for
tune" His washerwoman had diechaEg-
ed him.-AmdresoS B0sW.
( Onx night recently man turned the
sason In his bedroom at . leading hotel,
and the next morning he was found
hanging to the gas-brackst, perfectly
dead. Gas 10 very powerful destruc-
tive agent when mot nrore-' fanT nj.
THIS h the tit I'd. ,s''~1:ssr =. - a,
the sylph-like g. :. ass..F9 .oes Oft Ia
. realm Of peril 70 and HOWerA and
presents to koE frral relatives the jack
kllye11nd other things taken from her
pupils during the year.-Nsse XOrk 6tGr
i. TIE three proudest moments Of Z
mans life, between the cradle and the
grave, are, when he gets the h1t pair q
, red.top boots, whom the girls drst cal
! him "Mister," /" and when the doctor tsl
him it's boy.-Sssxbeasilb HraA
Il THE editor who quashed Juicy coe3.
roach with the butt end Of hisleAd pencil
and afterward forgetfully su0ksd II
!, same while w0oing coy expression, s0d-
denly found word but IL pc0ved q h
/ foreign to the subject under condderar
. tion.- Rockester ESpssea
FoR hs might have been preacher,
A writer, or teacher,
Or IN Adirondackian:
III But in spite Of Ill temptation
10 assume some other station,
He becomes buckboard man.
CAosxs-For It's greatly tohis debit ete.
c., whose death \ inst annoancsd