Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-12-19
Women and Mice.

but to fire it and shoot man to death
Herewith, should break camp and go
into a stampede at the sight of a
mouse.
But there is nothing strange in this.
WHY should there be? A woman is q
woman aud a mouse Is q mouse, and all
the Kings horses and all the Kings
men couldn't make them anything else,
or make the result different whenever
the two happen to get in each other 8
way. If there be any one thing upon
which the wise men are agreed, it is
the principle of cause and effect, and
il is Just as inevitable that mouse
and woman should produce o panic
as it is that gunpowder and fire, or o
pin in q chair bottom, should produce
particular effects.
The rule has its exceptions. There
are few women in the world upon
whom a mouse has no more effect than
the "new" jokes of a modern negro
minstrel troupe would have upon a
theater- goer resurrected and revivitied
from the paleozoic age, or than the
average foreign. missions sermon has
upon the pockets of the average con-
gregation.
Young men, beware of such women.
1t is dangerous to risk them. They are
either too good or too bad for this
world and its washiugs. Awoman who
can stand her ground unconccrned and
unperturbed at the advance of mouse,
who can look upon the dun intruder
without the exercise of lip or lid,
without the hutter of heart or a skirt,
is not the woman for ordinary wear and
tear. She belongs to one of two forbid
den trees. If to the first, she is too
near cold perfection, too much OF q
pulseless paragon "for human natures
daily food" Steer clear of her, young
man she will make your life perpet-
ual Sunday, during which you shall be
doomed to the stocks of stiff shirt
and climbing collars. You shall ever
rest beneath tho shadow of her sprout-
ing wings, and your sigh shall not be
one of regret if some day she plume
them and float away like a Whit of
steely smoke into winter sky. If she
belong to the other class, she is wom-
an formed of the dust Of pulverized
granite and iron filings. into which the
breath of life was blown by sirocco,
and who was tempered by being set out
on an iceberg and volcano by turns.
She it is who is tit for treason, spoils,
diplomacy, murder, boomers aud
boots, but not for you. If you would
be scalped, go directly to the red man
and have it done in good order, but
keep thee away from Wbite.Squaw.not-
Afraid-of-a-M Mouse, for verify is she
"yard wide and all WOOL"
Turn away from these and come and
look upon the ideal woman-the true
ideal Of feminine beauty-an ideal for
which Praxitiles and Phydias sought in
vain; an ideal which all the philosophy
of Plato and his school could not Gre.
ate an ideal which never dawned upon
poet or painter in his "dream OF fair
women = an ideal beside which the
orb.fsced conceptions of Raphael are
lackadaisical aud lifeless an ideal
which all the world has looked and
longed for, which all the world
has had right under its nose,
and which all the world has
been too stupid to recognize when it
saw it. Look upon her if you will.
She stands in chair in the middle of
the room; her eyes are resolutely
closed; her lips are parted in half
suppressed shrieks and hysterical
laughter; her hands clutch her skirts,
which she frantically firts up and down
to ward off and brighten the poor little
mouse, which has long since fed,
terror stricken. away. Anon, you catch
tantalizing glimpse of a pair of dainty
slippers and ankles and the comical rip
pies into which her face is broken, and
the shades of the lily and the rose,
which shift and fit after each other
over it. add charm to the whole which
ought to smite as with the rod the sto-
NEST masculine hearts and call forth
tho living fountains which somewhere
under the surface flow through them
all. Young man, this is not paragon
or an Amazon. This is woman. She
is your neutrality-suspicious. it and be
blessed.
Every one will remember the case of
the poor girl, q maid of honor to Queen
Catherine, who, being desired to marry
a court favorite, lost forever her reason
when he was presented to her by the
name of the Count De Mouse. Every
oAo WILL IcChil Iuo AuClucut III Lu0 llIo
of the virile and valiant Joan of Arc,
who. in passing through town in her
triumphal march, as she was listening
to the Mayors speech Of welcome,
caught sight of mouse and suddenly
scrambled upon the reporters table,
kicked all their notes to the winds, and
. 20 embarrassed those modest youths that
on reading their demoralized report.
both the Mayor and Joan went around
and ordered their papers stopped.
Oldest inhabitants say that George
Washington was few minutes late on
his second Inauguration, the delay be.
ing caused by changs of shirts, made
necessary by the fact that his wife, while
preparing for the event, had seen q
mouse aud split the boiled custard
down his bosom. Art lovers have also
recently discovered that the mutilated
condition of the statue OF the Venus de
Milo is due to the fact that after the
sculptor had finished it, it was so per-
feet and lifelike woman in every way
that on the appearance of a mouse it
tried to Jump upon chair, and in do
ing SO toppled down and broke itself
beyond repair.
These incidents will suffice. In Civ