Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1879-07-17
Wonders of O Mound.

Mr.. Derby complained yesterday morning
of feeling some better, his conv alescence was
brought about by the contents of pint bots
tie that Frank brought home from Forest
Hall the morning after the dance. Where
the bottle had beer hid or what the contents
were / cannot tell | only know that Mr..
Derby murmured balm of Life and inn
mediately set to work to read off the history
of Patch Grove, writing 1t down as usua
CHRONICLES, CRAP. III.
l And it came to pass that many people
did come to liye in Milville, Notwithstanding
it was so exceeding rough, and as they could
find no game but the woodchucks they did
make sad havoc with those little animals.
2 Aud when Zeus knew of this he did blow
his nose ard tear his hair and bite his mous>
tache, for he knew not what to do. So he
called unto himself all of his workmen and
did ask them what to do; but none could tell
until at last up spake Geo. Graphy, the work
er who made the lands and the hills a. 4 the
rivers of the earth, and said, sMost mighty
Zeus, | have plan to get the sons of men
out Of Wyalusing and Millville, and thus the
woodchucks will be left in peace"
8 Then was Zeus glad, and he spake unto
Geo. Graphy and said, Thou art smart
TELLER; if thou hast good plan spit it out
forthwith"
Then Geo. Graphy said unto him, 81 will
go and make most beautiful prairie, dotted
with groves and well supplied with cool
springs, and it will be so exceeding fine that
the men of Wyalusing and Milville will all 90
there in grand rush and leave the woods
chuck in peace forevermore.
Then said Zeus, 'That is an excellent
good plan; go thou and make that beautiful
country" and Geo. Graphy went.
6 Now it came to pass that divers sharp
chaps who were called spectators (because
they were always trying to make spec1 were
prowling around and did see this beautiful
piece of land and they did say one to another,
Lets gobble it," and behold it was gobbled
forthwith.
7 And it did come to pass that when the
people of Wyalusing and Millyille had packed
up their traps and were just entering into
that beautiful country which had been made
for and given unto them, they were met by
these men of much brass which are called
spectators going straightway to the timber
TO cabbage fencesrails and fire-wood.
And when they saw the people of Wya.
lusing and Millville, they called them loafers
because they each had a loaf Of corn bread
with them, and they said unto the loafers,
Turn back, we pray you, we want to buy
your land and will give you many shekels OF
gold aud of silver aud much greenbacks.
9 And the loafers, beng without guile
themselves, did not suspect that there was
any trick, so they did turn back and took the
spectators into their tents and fed them on
woodchuck and hominy, and the spectators
did divide into two parties, one party did
cabbage and haul off fence-raiIs, while the
other party made merry with the loafers and
did not let them 60 TO their new country or
find out that their timber was being taken till
all of that fine country now called Patch
Grove had been gobbled. Then the specu-
lators did each capture a chicken and loaf
of bread and depart in the nighttime when
the loafers were asleep
10 Now 1t came 10 pass that when the
loafers awoke and found the spectators gone
they bethought themselves that it was high
time TO go to their new country and pick out
their farms.
IL But when they came to the place called
Patch Grove il was all taken up, and fences
and houses were builded, and when they went
into the houses they there saw the spectators
eating those same captured chickens, and
when they did ask for bite of bread or a
chicken leg the spectators did mock them
and say, $50 to, thou art nothing bnt loafers
and eat woodchucks, we are high-toned spec
ulators and eat chickens and have rail>fences
this is now our land and you had better me.
ander back to the land whence you came and
come no more among u.s.
IL But there was one of the spectators
whose surname was Ury who said unto the
loafers, behold, | viii trade you 40 rod
whisky an mouldy -four for fenee-ralls and
woodchuck skins
Is Then the loafers did all meet together
TO deliberate and some wanted to "go for
them SPECTATORS while others wanted TO
; ave soT.e Of that 40 rod whisky" but insl,
\ Ed.. the son Of Sanford, arose and said,
II know OF e man in Old kentuck whose