The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1879-11-11
Elixir Vitae.
Life to be Prolonged by Progressive ABB
sorption of Lemons.
From the London Telegraph

From the London Telegraph
According to Dr. Wilhelm Schmoe!e whose
voluminous treatise, entitled "Makrobiotick
and Eubanik, two scientific methods for the
prolongation and establishment of human
life, has recently been subjected to somewhat
severe criticism in the German press, one OF
the four great natural secrets that have baf1ed
Investigation for at least a score of centuries
has at length been discovered. This precious
liquor, gifted with the inestimable faculty Of
protracting existence for an indefinite term
the panacea for the greatest of those ills that
flesh is heir to, death-is no cunning distilla-
ton of weird and costly drugs, no essence of
the dreadful broth brewed by witches from
such grisly ''stock" as juice of toad and oil of
adder. 1t is fluid with which all are fa-
miliar, chiefly in convivial associations with
hot water, sugar, and more or less copious
modicum of alcohol. Blended with these ma
terials humanity has hitherto gratefully ac-
knowledged its genial and eXhilarating quali-
ties, little dreaming that infnitesimal doses of
immortality were floating perdus among the
aromatic contents of the punch bowl. 1t was
reserved to DIR. Schmoele to gladden. the world
with the disclosure that lemon juice is the
CttJU tttU. ~ IlNsl pbtAloAOho III
of years, to blunt the edge of Deaths sickle in
such sort that it shall not avail to sever the
slenderest of life threads, all that the aspirant
to immoderate longevity has to do is to absorb
q sufficient quantity of. lemon juice daily; or,
better still, to eat a fixed number of lemons,
having relation to his or her age or sex, every
morning and evening. DR.. Shemoeles work
contains the most elaborate and exhaustive
rules for the practice of the lemon treatment
which may be commenced with equal cer-
tainty of ulterior success at any time OF life.
The professor also adduces several instances of
the efficacy with which the consumption of
lemons stimulates aged persons to evade the
assaults of the phantom ON the pale horse.
He is as vet unable to mention one case in
which the inhibition of lemon juice has en-
abled any human being to live forever; but he
confidently hopes, i'll future ages far remote, to
supply posterity with an illustration, in his
own person, of his theory that HE who will
only eat lemons enough need never die"
Failing living example of indisputable I'M
mortality, such as would carry conviction to
the soul of the most hardened Skeptic, DIR.
Schmoele. directs our attention to the cele-
brated painter, Count Waldeck, who died in
Paris q short time ago at the somewhat adj
vanced age of 100 years. The professor seems
to fancy that this tough artist proves the cor
Count Waldeck was in the habit, every spring.
tide. of devouring huge quantities of horse
radish soaked in lemon juice. 1T was not the
horse radish," says DIR. Schmoele, "but the
lemon juice, that prolonged his life for so
many years" But we have only the professors
word for the truth of this postulate. 1t may
be that the vehement pungency of the horse
radish kept Count Waldeek's vital spark aglow
for such an inordinate length of time, and
that the secret of Immortality turks within
that fiery root. Besides, the count died after
all, so that the lemon-juice or horseradish or
both combined, only enabled him to stave off
the evil day for period of time which, con-
sdered in relation to eternity, cannot but be
accounted as brief and unimportant.
''Makrobiotik and Eubanik" teaches us what
we are to do in the way of swallowing lemon
juice in order to attain an age to which that OF
Methuselah was, so to speak, mere immature
adolescence To ladies over 40 and under 80,
commencing the citronian system, he prescribes
two lemons per diem, while gentlemen betw cen
those ages must "assimilate" at least three
lemons daily. Between 80 and 60 the dose for
ladies is set down at three, for gentlemen at
four lemons day. One lemon more per diem
is ordained to each sex for every additional de-
cade, so that centenarians must consume, If
women, their eight lemons daily, If men, no
fewer than nine.