The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1879-04-17

We little weigh;
Amidst much care and STRIFE
We seldom stay
To think of what concerns
Our everyday
Reposeful life. One learns
Not all one may.
We've given farming hints,
And guides to talk;
We now give you few glints
OF how to walk.
Always keep to the left; by this course
you show spirit untrammeled by the
thrall of convention. 1t may irritatc
those YOU meet; but what of that, SO
long as their irritation hurts them and
not you?
The above rule may be departed from
with propriety when the person met also
shows an inclination to go to the left.
Then, while pretending to do the same,
dart suddenly to the right. With prac--
tice, by dodging first to one side and
then to the other, you may keep a person
at bay for several minutes. Not only is
this Il good example physically, but it
affords you an opportunity to study your
riS-a-riS. The proper study of mankind
is man.
By all means carry cane. In the
hands of an expert it is Il powerful aux
iliary in making pedestrianism a boon.
1t should be carried over the shoulder,
the ferrule end on level with the eye of
the person following in your wake. If
you can contrive to stop abruptly now
and then, it will greatly add to his pleas
ure.
Ifnot convenient to carry the cane as
above, another favorite fashion is to trail
it few feet behind you. The only OBJ
;notiA,, TO fhic iS that SinnallV some
ungentlemanly individual will tread on
your stick and break it. However, the
pleasure afforded your fellows in tripping
over your cane amply, compensates for
the loss of one now and then.
| Prodigies may be accomplished with
an umbrella. When one comes to deal
ing with this, he quits matters mundane
and scars to the empyrean.
When closed, the umbrella should be
carried under the arm or on the shoulder.
Do this, and the oculist will bless you.
When carried under the arm, feat of
surprising merit can be achieved by any
in turning half round suddenly. BY this
you kill two birds with one stone, or
rather one umbrella. This exploit al
ways calls forth remark.
With an open umbrella great amuse-
ment can be obtained by knocking off
hats, eye glasses and even wigs. This is
rather too common to be recommended
as novelty, to be sure, but it should
not, nevertheless, be overlooked.
Never walk in a direct path; it is in
better taste to wabble from side to side
of the walk. This gives any person be-
, hind you diversity ofview to the front
J besides which, it exercises the patience
of him who would pass you too eagerly
; Patience being virtue, it should be eX-
ercised. .....
, OF course it would be idle to instruct
ladies how to dispose their garments
; They are such consummate experts in
this matter that we shall attempt but
one reflection.
Trains should be worn as far back or
the sidewalk as the length of the materia
will allow. In the absence of a train, s
shawl can be substituted. If any i'll
! hammered man should step on your trail
1 ing garments of the day, treat him sum
: marily, and in the manner his ac
=, deserves.
: Where there are two or three together
: they may live in every heart by walkin
il with due deliberation and spreading on
e to the breadth of the pave.
n 1t is your duty to run into all tn
e ladies you meet. 1t has tendency t
d throw back their shoulders, you know
5, Ladies are oftener round-shouldered tina
l. men. You would best not attempt thi
o with men. They might not appreciat
your well-intentioned attentions.
d If you have parcels with you, yor
lie own good sense will teach you how
II dispose them so as to cover all the su
Is face possible. The law of gravitation
Il your sufficient warrant for this.
A. \, With an oil can OF paint pot you m;
~ be more potent than the greatest earth
y monarch. The possibilities of these a
70 cessories are illimitable.
de There might be many more rules la
Tx down. But the above are sufficient.
al strictly followed, you will be immort,
ized-and very quickly.-BoSton Ira,
script. - OIL.