Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-12-20
Hostes.es and their WAYS.

A few of the salient points which distinguish
tie perfect or charming hostess are, perhaps,
foremost, certain feciity of putting each indt-
vidual guest at his ease, conveying that the
welcome she accOrds to him is a personal, If
not an especial one. simultaneously with these
agreeable Impressions is conveyed q sense OF
the hostess genial qualities; her charm of
manner, her smiling serenity, her unruffled de-
meanor, her graciousnesS and her courteous
bearing eyineing SO plainly that she Is entirely
Sfbly react upon the guests, and evoke cor
responding desire to please on their part. Her
tact, aplomb, and readiness Of resource are such
that she is equal to any emergency; While the
most awkward OF contretemps, which not ua-
frequently occur in society-such as the wrong
people arriving at the wrong moment or the
same moments carried off by her in 50 skill
full and successful manner that the awkward
ness OF the meeting is scarcely so much as per-
ceiyed. The perfect hostess has another advan-
work Ct the foregoing charms readiness Of
speech, faculty Of saying the right thing at
the right moment and to the right person, ana
f IF hese II each SO to Of ea wn
never attempting to please one guest over
the head Of another, making the one
feel small and neglected while she is laying her.
self out TO please the other, and is never at
loss for jUdciOus remark to be addressed to
even the most insignificant of her guests, but is
queen in the artsof society small ak.
The good hostess is essentially what is known
as considerable hostess; she makes up in con-
sideration for her guests for the brighter quail
ties of the charming hostess" in which she,
ing hostess this Consideration is eclipsed by her
more brilliant powers of pleasing; it permeateS
all she does: while In the good hostess it is her
strongest point. and upon which Is founded her
claim to the name. The lady who bears the
undesirable reputation OF being mot a good
hostess" is not ''gcod" in a variety OF ways; she
means well. and Goes her utmost to succeed.
but, by scme contrariety Of the laws which
regulate domestic and social affairs the results
OF her Efforts are always the reverse of what
she would have them he. The mot good host
esses" sometimes suffer from shyness and re-
serve, which renders them stiff in manner
VIXEN they would be most cordial, silent when
they would be most loquacious, and awkward
when they would be most graceful Others,
again have no method In their arrangements and
consequently everything that they superintend
or attempt to manage turns out a fort, a ira
verse. FusSineSs and an over-anXiety to please
is with many their great drawback and serious
defect. These ladies bore their guests far more
than they are aware of; they hunt them about
with mistaken zeal, teasing them with inquiries
as to whether they are too warm or too cold,
whether they will do this or do that, go there
or stay here, eat this or drink that, and are so
desilious OF seeing them enjoy themselves and
be amused. that they destroy the element they
would foster. Their friends do not speak I'M
kindly of this type OF hosteSS-on the contrary,
they give them full credit for ali their good in
tent1ons; but they say pityingly OF one OF these
ladies. MRS. A. is not a good hostess, Ger
tainly, but She is good-natured woman, very"
AS there are many rea; ons why ladies prove to
be 'good hostesses," SO there are many reasons
why they prove dad bostesses," selfishness
and want Of consideration for others contribute
to these, as do representation and the having
no idea Of time Ladies with such weaknesses
as these produce very much the same impress
sion upon their guests, although perhaps one
is a little less culpabie than the ether The
selfish hostess is ''bad hostess, because, pro-
vided she is herself amused, she is utterly in
different as to how her guests may be faring,
her own pleasure and qualification being OF
paramount importance with her. II she de-
SceEdS late to the drawing room to welcome her
guests, instead OF being IN readiness to receive
them, it is because she is Indifferent as to whe-
ther there is any one to greet them or not in
the empty drawing-room; to arrange the last
curl of her couture In a cOquettiSh manner. and
study the set Of her train, Is with her matter
ofmuch more importance. This selff1shness OBJ
trudeS itself at every turn of her self-impoSed
duties; she is incorrigtble, and there Is nothing
to be said for her. For the procrastinating
hostess, although She is equally In fault. yet as
she hastens to excuse herself when lacking in
politenesS to-, or consideration for, her guests.
her excuses are sometimes admitted; but the
selfish hostess, If she deigns to excuse herself,
does SO with such palpable show of indiffer-
ence as to her guests opinion Of her actions
that the excuse is oftener than not an aggra-
vatiOn OF the OffenSe.