The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-09-02
present to save her life, and by her will


Almost every day there is a dispatch
stating that another cashier has been
caught. 1t is only mere matter OF time.
Cashiers can be caught as we'll as anybody,
if you go about it right. At the East they |
talk of establishing a quarantine against
cashiers. because they are becoming epide- |
mic.-Psclc's Sun.
The young couple that eloped from
Brooklyn few days ago were unfortunate |
in being obliged to pass a peanut-stand |
during their fight. They were tracked by |
the shucks and brought back home to meet
no more.-St. Louis Times.
A good story is told of Bayard Taylor at
dinner with several gentlemen, one of
whom bored the company with long philo-
logical dissertations. At length Mr.. Tay-
lor said: "Do you recall the derivation of
the word restaurant" "Oh, yes; it is
from the Latin restdurdre, to invigorate. "
Not at ALL" replied Mr.. Taylor; it is
from res, a thing, taurus, bull a bully
thing The philologist subsided. 81.
Louis Times.
A man walked into large grocery on
Third avenue few days ago and asked if
he might see the proprietor. That in
dividual soon put in an appearance and in
quired:
what can I do for your"
Il am in search of first class place to
deal at. generally buy about $50 worth
of stuff day when my family is i'm the
city,"
This is the best place in the city;
everything guaranteed" warbled the pro-
prietor, as he took pencil from behind
his ear and commenced an intaglio head
Eof DIR. Mary Walker on the top of bar
rel.
DO you keep anehovies?"
Yes sir, and first class they are toe"
| well, there is some relief in knowing
that, continued the prospective customer,
good naturally; ARE you aware Of the
faat, my dear sir, that | have always ex
perienced great trouble in securing good
anchovies?'
Il was never before aware OF il. sir,
replied the grocer after thinking carefully
for minnie.
Well have, and if you possess some
6rst-class ones I'll buy you out"
/ "Wiil you just taste oue2''
Certainly. sir. certainly"
i He then got out one and took a nibble
Isn't that just A No. II" screamed the
grocer, as he danced around in an ecstasy
of delight.
Kinder, kinder" responed the other. az
be made strange faces to become acquaint
ed with the flavor, but they have a kind
of wire edge, If you will kindly favor me
with cracker and a bit of cheese [ may
be able to reach the foundation of those
auchovies.
Then he devoured huge cracker and 6
huger bit of cheese, after which the pro
prietor inquired:
How about the anchovies?'
= I'm too warm to taste them now, Blu
: but if you Il give me pineapple to cool mi
off, a glass of wine to cut the cheese out o
my throat, and an Intimldad cigar tt
? cool my nerves, I'll proceed with the ex
= animation.
l can't give you all these things fol
= nothing .
. You can't, eh?"
mo. sir"
"All right. Then I'll move out. I
q you're too mean to go fifty cents worth o
second hand stuff on a man who wants Ii
purchase thousand dollars worth o
anchovies, then you can't have my trad
My $50 per diem will go somewhere else.
Then he stepped out into the park ant
5 digested what he had got at the grocer
and calmly devoured the things which b.
had appropriated during the conversation
r.. K. Munkittrac6.
;. lie was a friend of mine, and used fire.
quentIy to drop in and give me advice a
to how ought to run my paper
He was minister, and consequent
thought should devote little more t
he - ~
to politics,
He said II could be made power 70
good 10 the Western land in which we ha
both cast our fortunes.
s. He was lover of the original, too, an
said he disliked to see reprint, thought
should write more-take the time, in faci
to fill the paper right up with good stuff
1t seemed such an easy thing for him tina
one day | ventured to say:
Brother, you had glorious meeting
the school house, | hear; suppose 20
write it up for me?"
:, He didn't seem to act as though
u wanted to.
Sc urged.
* He flushed little and stood aroun,
70 awkward like. He had never been hor
- ored with an Invitation to write for th
% press before.
- | still urged.
is Then he took off his gloves and ha
ht Then | gave him seat at the table, wit
= paper and pencil.
&c He sat down to editorial work.
er He was always talking about low
he should be done. aud now he was at it.
on He started in.
= went about my WORK, and having wri
~ ten up column or two Of matter for th
days paper, left him still writing, while
went out to solicit some advertisements.
~ | was gone an hour or two, and when
came back he was still at it.
% He was sweating awfully.
His eyes were bent on the dazzlir
white paper before him. and his pene
was stub. / began to grow frightene,
is | knew had only small weekly pape
lie and that its four columns of space Cor
n side was patent inward) would not ho
the contents of the Bible and supplement
airy messages from heaven besides,
l u At last the man looked up and tlmid
y advanced with piece Of paper in OF
hand and suddenly went back to change
word.
III Then he came on again and like one wi
KS had passed through vision held out
w piece of paper and boldly asked:
will that do?"
d. I looked at it.
IS, There were just seven lines OF it, adYe
en- Using measure.
lie He was large man, weighing over 81
pounds then, bat when | met him thr'
ma weeks later ne weighed less than 1856.
f.. He had been sick.
a Tho gevaD-lina nina hour nfTorf uoo ~