Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-07-02
Current HumOr.

u
Current HumOr.
An ancient way of rocking man to
sleep was stoning him to death.-Neoc
Orleans Picayume.
Ii the planets ever have to give to
each other lift, how much will the
sun rays?-New York Neaos.
The Postage stamp, says the New Or
leans Picdyatne, knows It's place after it
has been once licked.
The free lunch levels rank.- New Or
leans Picaylne. If you mean the butter,
say so.-Boston Post.
Verdict of the New York police re-
gardlng the murdered Mrs. Hull" 1t
was the cat. "-Bufalo Ezpress.
"And the iron entered my SOLE"
said Grayhead, as he pulled the tack
out of the bottom of his slipper.-Bos-
tom Transcript.
This country will now have to begin
to import missionaries. We under
stand that some one has invented a
cheap hand-organ that will only play
one tune Wheeling Sunday Leader.
Now the swell in style arrayed ..E.E e..
| Goeth forth to promenade,
| But willis meath the fervOr of the sunbeam g
glance,
And SO do his collars and his jacket and his pants
| .E.#- -1onkers Gazette.
"Stand up ard tell the truth like a
little bell punch" is the latest addition
to the phraseology of slang. EE
A lady recently appeared at a fancy
dress ball at Richmond as a mushroom.
But she looked just as much like a
toadstool-and not resembling either to
any appreciable extent, there was mush.
room for speculation as to the character
she did STANDARDIZATION Herald,
A Rhode Island sunday-school SUI
perlntendent, last Sabbath, in a touch.
ing missionary address, told the child
rem that away out west, tar, far in Hi
lnois and Iowa and Nebraska, there
were people who had never been to 3
calm-bake. And when the contribution
box went around after that the nickels
refined into it until it weighed q tom
Burlington Havkeye.
Even so able an author as James
Russell Lowell didn't consider it be-
meath his dignity to invent conun
drum. His canundrum is quoted every
summer. "What," he asks, "what is sc
rare as day in June?" The answer il
well, it is too long to print here. And
besides, it is poetry-Noristovn Herald
This is the view taken of it by an in
FAINT of st. Joseph, Mo: Little Freddie
was undergoing the disagreeable opera
ton Of having his hair combed by hi
mother, and he grumbled at the man
euver. "Why, Freddie" said mamma
"you ought not to make such fuss.
don't fuss and cry when my hair i
combed," "but your hair amt hitchet
to your head.-Harper's Magazine.
Mr.. Spurgeon recently told this anec
dote as he gave but an anthem.
high churchman and Scotch Presbyte
RAN minister had been at the sam
church. The former asked the latter i
, he did not like the "introits." He re
piled: II don't know what an introi
is" Said the churchman, "But did yo,
, not enjoy the anthem?" He replied
: "No, l did not enjoy it at ALL" II an
: very sorry said the churchman ''be
: cause it was used in the early church
in fact, it was originally sung by David.
| "Ah." said the Scotchman, "then tina
, explains the Scripture. l can under
, stand now, if David sung it at that time
why Saul threw his javelin at him.
, This was followed by q lound peal c
/ laughter, when Mr.. Spurgeon said
"Now, let us sing the anthem"
A minister, who has written boo
against dancing, gives this description
Of ball: Gust look at them. There
elevated en- table, is mustache
gentleman, holding piece of wood t
his shoulder and frantically DRAWN
poor horse hair over the dried viscer
of dead feline, shouting vociferousl
incOherent sounds, the meaning {
which must be guessed at, while me
| and women are mostly jumping up an
2 down, scolding, laughing, shouting
, coughing, wheeling, bowling, smiling
3 frowning. winking, blinking, pushing
f pulling, sweating, rushing, laundering
r rumbilng, tramping and stamping unit
3 the body is exhausted and the lungs CT
: for air." This may all be true, but jul
: think of the splendid exercise it mus
) be and how the muscles of the Leg
: arms, tongue, eyes, nose and mouth ar
called into action.
l "On with the dance,
3 Let JOY be unconfned where youth and pleasul
meet
( 10 chase the glowing hours with flying feet"
!. Cheek Never Pays
Detroit Free Press
The race is not to the swift, nor tn