Smyrna times., 1879-05-21
WHOLE NO. 1856.
Chowdor.

44dlIldSS ~ IL Tie.
What is it the sad sea waves
Pray devoutly, hammer stoutly.
Unhealthy sign: " Fits guaranteed"
Ones fzzical condition will soon require
a return Of soda water.-BraItcrd Era.
The nimble-footcd mule is used as the
light fantastic tow for a canal boat.-N. O.
PIC.
Calls Of distress reach US from all direc-
ton, and charity begins to hum.-B0st0n
Transcript
A Kentucky paper boasts of society
editor who "has no peers outside the luna
tic asylum.
"Given up by the doctors" All hope of
collecting more than one third Of their
bills-N. !. Nccs.
1t is the quality of the music that makes
it necessary to chain the monkey to the
hand organ.-U'nclc Sm.
"Oh, yes, have made faces my study.
Do you paint, Miss Brown ?" "Sir!' II
mean, do you paint pictures?n
"Well I'm beetr' as the seed said which
had been planted for cabbage and came up
something else.-Sllcns Sunbeam.
French way Of complimenting the old
lady" All, madame, you grow every day
to look more like your daughter"
1t does not follow that women are cob.
blers or blacksmiths because they are good
hands to shoe hens.-Roms Sentinel
1t is whispered that Edison has invented
an electric bootjack for the use of the sweet
songsters Of the nightly I. Erpre2S
In Kentucky there is a game law which
prohibits the shooting Of judges between
May 10th and the middle of June.-N. y.
| Herald.
A merchant may get along without ad-
vertising, and a boy may slide down hill
without a sled, but both feats are wearing,
-Stillratcr LumJcrman.
a book just published is entitled, Say
ings and Doings of Great Men" We
notice that the Sayings" have large
majority.-L Lt;ca Observer.
Sympathy, without some substantial
token to back it, is like giving g thirsty
man the froth Of glass Of beer TO quench
his thirst.-Hackens4ck RepuJl;cm.
1t is wonder that no politician has
thought of faigning death in order to get
eulogstic obituaries, part of which he could
use for campaign literature.- Wheeling Lead.
or.
1t is because he has heard that close at.
tention to little things makes the success.
full business man that the young dry goods
| plc1,ly 70 lyas ~ biS ho
Mail
A lady purchasing strawberries to-day
asked the boy waiting on her, " Are they
sweet?' "Dunno, mum, amt tasted 'em.
One of ems worth q months wages"-
Kingston frecman.
Never use slang. 1t may not always ap-
ply, as for instance: A comes into BIS
room. Says B " How do you like my new
shoes?' A.: "Oh, they're immense."-
Tableau.-.Ncrid,p Recorder.
1t is proposed to open a school in Phila
delphia for carriage drawing. Nothing can
draw carriage better than horse, but
these animals will not be admitted to the
school,-Norrtst0,gn Herald.
England to Mr.. Lorrillard "'Ere, say
We doesn't object to Parole, you know but
ven it comes to is sisters, lis cousins and lis
, aunts, that's carrying the joke too deuced
far, you know."-B'8alo Ezpress.
"Kind words are better than gold," says
the adage; but when yon offer the butcher
: kind words for last months meat bill he
gets as mad as the mischief. Some people
! will never learn to appreciate the truth o
these old saws.-Mliileto,on Transcript.
"Howdy, this morning?" says an ac
q quaintance to fat citizen, who is blowing
and steaming with great speed along th'
sidewalk. Training for walk?" "No,'
pufs the fat citizen, turning his bulginl
Z eyes neither to the right nor left "I'n
walking for train. .''-ROckLand Courier.
DEFENCE oE CHINESE MoMEN.-Mrs. Al