The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1879-04-13
FRENCH NEWSPAPER WIZ.

"A member OF a class in rhetoric, having to
make the dead past live again in an essay
upon Gustavus Adolphus, begins that mon
ach's farewell address to his courters: Gen
tlemen, ] am about setting out TO take my
part in the Thirty Years War"
At dessert the mistress of the house places
upon the table superb cake; then, glancing
round the festive board, mumbles brief grace
have it, we'll keep it for tea. Jane, put this
cake away" Time, by a Shrewsbury cake
clock 4 1144 see.
At Court: Eminent Cnunsel-"Yes, gentle
men of the jury you will-oh, know you will
restore my prosecuted client to The arms Of
'.Your client is bachelor" E. c. with re-
proach) -"Your honor would even deprive my
unhappy client Of the pure joys of home and
the family" [Weeps.l
With the first rays of spring the deaf and
dumb beggars reappear, and silently write
petitions On their states which they present
to the charitable and credulous. Its curl
Gus" said some one to Aurelien Scholl, "but
you never see those deaf mutes out in the
winter. How do they pass their time In the
cold season ?" "Oh! In talking"
Two hackmen run into each other at night
and one, whose horse Is killed, cites the other
the compliments horse and knocked it down
and run over it, says the court sternly, 'why
didn't you stop to see if any damage had been
done?" "Oh,'' replies the cabby, 81 didn't
know it was horse I'd hurt-I thought it
was only man."
young woman whose apartments ara very
nicely furnished undertakes to dazzle a gen
tlemanwhose acquaintance she has just made,
and, ringing the bell, says to the servant,
II think / will take a drive out to the B6is.
Susan, tell John to harness up the horse to
in few moments and says: "Missus, can't
find any john or horse, or phaeton at all, at
all shall 60 and get cab?"
X, assaulted by his tailor-sI really cannot
understand why you do not pay me my little
bill. You had good salary and it has been
fully that you would pay me out of the
amount you saved from your extra allow
ance." s'Precisely." "Then you have lied to
me, for you haven't paid me the first red cen
time" mot at ALL haven't saved anything
from my extra allowance. When do I'll pay
you"
Lawyer x. is ugly as-uglier thanh fine,
there is no finding any adequate smile. A case
| in which he is engaged is called in court. and
another lawyer rises and says: Brother X
has asked me to apply for a postponement'
| s'Sck, eh ?" says thejudge "No; gone to get
married. married oh! come now. what
| is my learned brother giving the court? Well
postponement granted for one week. Married
Ell? Well, I'll Debut call the next case.''
| Bohemian, who is over head and ears in
debt, sees no way out of it but to marry, and
| accordingly betakes himself to matrimonial
agency and asks if they have any wives ir
stock with from 10000 to 100000 francs. q
have just your article" says the agent
| 'Pretty, pretty, amiable"- "That'H do
never mind the age call right!' says the
agent; BE So good as to hand me over fifty
flancs-the fee is payable in advance-and
then we will arrange for a first Interview
FIFTY francsw exclaims the Bohemian, with
a frightful sneer; fifty Erebus. Blister your
soul, sir; do you think that it I had. fifty
francs I'd be ass enough to go and get mar.
| ried ?"