Daily Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1876-1884, 1879-06-12
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CzrsoIsn ladies counted their age
from their marriage, not from their
birth.
A 6teubenvills woman calls her
COW Wedge, because she always
has to drive her in.
A fellow who fell in love with q
schoolma'am called her "Experi-
onO," because to him she was .
dsee teacher.
Mrs.. PArtington says the only
way to prevent steam boat sx-
ploeions 10 to make the engineers
bIle the water on shore.
In Morocco the s'swell society
glrls'' live on the fat Of the land,
for obesity IL there regarded As .
mark a great beauty.
ssCiasa" writes that she hopes
that the electric light will never be
Introduced for parlor use, "because
ft can't be turned down."
Don't grow old too fast, says the
CsrjstiGn lntelligencer. But the
warning comes too late for Clara
Louise Kellogg and Susan B. An
thony.
Vassar girl. eating her first goose
bsrriss: "N'yum! N'yumi yum-m
-m-ml Wouldn't I like to see the
goose that laid these bsrries!"
A pretty, wealthy, and accom-
plished PittsburG girl has married
an ignorant and ugly negro to spite
her parents. Black ingrAtltude.
II have got 90 In the habit of
being married by An Eplscopalian
clergyman that I really don't feel
sAtisfisd with any other kind"
said Chicago widow.
A poetsss sings: "Tho' 1 were
dead my heart would beat for thee"
This would certainly be "dead
beaW darling, and we don't want
Il and won't have 1t.
He caroled: " Now my dear,
viii you have glass Of bser2''
And she answered: George, I'd sooner
Have > schooner"
When Chinaman makes love to
girl he doesn't rave about his
heart painting for her. etc. No, he
simply tells her he loves her better
than be does rats, and she believes
him. 80 ~
A young man In Nebraska sent
IN e6er Of marriage to q girl In
Iowa whom he fancled, and In re-,
ply received this telegram: "Come
on with your minister."
Emma Kelly, Of Carson City,
Nevada, fifteen years old, COM
mittsd suicide because she was
ashamed to beg any longer for her
sistsrs and broehe rs; and In Q note
which she left she apologized for
bad spelling because she was In a
hurry.
Now, Lila N. Cushman has gone
and said 1t again, in the Yonkers
Gazette. Her poem begins, "Oh,
rain upon my mouth thy kisses
sweet" Lilla, you are the most
oovotous woman We ever knew.
Don't you want o whole thunder
showerf
4 sweet little girl from Oquawkah
Was an in-de-fat-i-ga-b:e talkah.
Her muscular lung
And versatile tongue
We're the wonder and pride Of Oquawkah.
She helped him out Of the DIFF
nculty BY suggestion. Her par.
euts refusing to allow him to see
her, he had himself arrested for
breaking into building, and then
subpOnaed the girl as witness.
BY this means he secured access to
her long enough to accomplish
marriage, by the friendly help Of a
minister.
The lady who married the coach
man intended to keep the affair
secret, and had some reason to
think she could do 90, as she had
four lady copfidants as bridesmaids
to help keep her confidence. Never
theless 1t got out, and at once the
principal and four confidauts nat
urally suspected the preacher OF
telling about 1t.
We hear Of an excessively mod
ct lady who can not talk to q
gentleman (exceptlng Of course, her
husband) without blushing, who
turned scarlet red, Is usual, when,
on asking "Charles," through the
telephone which connected home
with the Office. what time he would
b. home to dinner, strange male
voice replied.
"While heiresses in the East
were engaged In marrying coach
men and big buck niggers," says q
Western paper, "Dakota has set
the noble example of winning o
rich merchants daughter with
Door cavalry mani" which 10 roman.
ito and atthe same In good taste,
while ~ business transaction no
one can deny that it beats the
goodman and niger marrying.
The kind Of clock that Cincinnati
girls receive for o wedding gift
marks the quarter hour by q de-
licious chime 30 soft and low as to
seem like the echo Of music heard
In . dream, music that softer falls
than petals from blown roses on the
grass or night dews on still waters
- clock to mark the "noiseless
foot Of time that only treads on
dowsrs." W0Wl
A some lady visitors were going
through q penitentiary under the
escort of . superintendent, they
eAme to o room In which three
women were sewing. "Dear mel"
one Of the visitors whispered,
"what vlcious-looking creatures?
Pray, what are they here for?"
"Because they have no other
home; this is our sitting-room, and
they are my wife and two daugh-
tsrs," blandly answered the su-
psrintendent.
Now IL the season Of love and light,
When thoughts of Q gu INNER suit
Follow by day and haunt by night
The fashionable galoot.
when the little maid, for . little love,
Cats aside her infantile doll,
And dauntn in the face of heaven ahove