, 1879-03-15

Uncle Ned he sed Johnny, this Is
Valentines day, and its haf gon slreddy,
and you haint rote a werd bowt it for
the paper. And you call yourself news
paper man. You are a disgrace to the
profissslon-n much bettern ole Fitch
or Mister Mackerelish.
IS sed wot shude l rite, and he sed
Il Essay, Johnny, Essay like edito-
nal The public xpecks it, and if you
aont do yure dooty to the public you'll be
Fhad for dinner by the ragin and rip-rorin
4 Cupid, To wich this day is sacred =
Then asst him did it have tushes like
a hi potamus, aud he sed better Jest git
my pen and go to work, no more tockn
back.
Valentines day don't come Ouly but Jest
once a year, and its the time Wen all the
little birds and the anniMels gifts married,
but not any preecher, and no cake, but
wen me and little Sally Brepe gifts mar
med bet You vii see mitr big eatu, cos
wot elsA ss,s feller git married for Id
! lest like to know. And that's all got 70
say about Valentines day in the abstraok,
but You Jest ot to see one wich was sent
to my sisters yung man. 1t was drod
with led pencil, and was him leanin on
our gate lookin up the wack real wishfie
And there was some poetry under II wich
was this way
You stan there al night lookin for Billys
sister,
Vile the moon is a wastin herself in the ski /;
And if she wude con- out spose You wude up
and kissed her.
But likely as not Billy wude ben there too.
mister,
And fetched you resler sockdolliser in
the ey-"
Wen my sisters yung man he got it he
come over to our house and he sed ::
Bill, exuse me for botherin feller wich
has greefs of his own, but was never SO
puzzel in all my life. | have bot seven
ocktave revolver and reboundin boy
knife for to destroy the wrascle wich rote
this thing, but cant CESS who he is.
Then Billy he got wite like sheets and
trembly I'll oyer. and he sed did my Sis
tiers young man mean it.
And h said: "Mean it, Billy, Wy,
my boy, have got down ontothe kanees
of my legs and sworp like pirit that
vii take my boy knife and split that fel-
Ter like fish and drink his gore like
was pig with both fore feet in tine trof''
Then spoke up and ast him wude he
scratch fissef asinst a gate post and grunt,
but he Just turned round and luked at
n,e reel xober, and said johnny, one
time there was pig y scratchin the end
of its ba,k aginst gate post, and its ears
was Aippity hoppin up an down, and
there was jackus come along and stop
for to look over the gate, and then he sed
to hissef, the jaci,us did: This is the
gracehost feiier which [ ever seen, lest
look at them ears :
Then thc jackus trioe to get closer, and
prest aginst the gate, and it went shet
with a snap, and the pigs tail was cot IN
the gate, and the pig it holered like red
Iniins, you never herd sech singin out ;
The jackus he harked vile, and then he
shuke his he'd and sed to the pig You
was more eloquent fore yOu spoke.
But fore my sisters yun9 man had got
threw his story Billy he busted out erwin,
cos twas him rote the valentine, and that
yum. man was stonish like yon never
seen But he Sed he wudcnt XIII Billy
til hex Valentines day, and see if he done
it sgin.
Mary, that's the house maid, she got a
valentine from the butchers boy wlch
brings the meat, and it was red hart
with 6la AFRO stickin in it. But | CESS
lie got Mister Brily, that's the butcher, 10
make the poetry, for it seq
This oxes hart stuck on skewer.
1t onct was mine but now its your,
Harris is best rosted, but some foxes fries,
We keep nice iivers, and steaks likewise,
You are my sweetheart, love you true,
| We Just got in some fresh tripe, too
But Missy that's my sisters valentine
hern is Jest the finest one which ever was
see, all gold and silver and herds which is
most al tails, and little boys which has
been in a swimmin, but she wont let me
an Billy read the readin III 1t. So asst
Uncle Ned wot she wudent sho it for and
he sed Johnny, the facks wich Is mar
ated in that valentine is unfit for publ
| casIon.
Then | sed wot did that mean, but
Billy he wank But wen Unc'e Ned he
seen Billy wink he grabd up the fier po-
ker and jumpt at him furious, but Billy
he ran away. Then Uncle Ned he sed to
me IA other time Johnny, rake xample
by man which has been in tnjy and evry
were, and wen ever you have been un-
fortunate i'll your language don't you let
feller go way with roRg imFressn II
You can git yure hands OF HIM 4 good
man wich can git hold of a fier poker like
thisn, Johnny, amt never too Prowd fof
to try to brake the forse ct his own thot-
less words
WALLA wALLA BAR. RULES FOE 1873.