American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1879-08-16
THE SCRAP BAG.

THE SChAF bAG.
When doctors disagree common
people can take their choice.
"A Spanish proverb says: "The
road of BY -and-by leads to the town Of
Never"
Dead men tell no tales. Even in
the catacombs of the Pharaohs mum
mies the word.
Tight pants are coming in fashion
again. and the long-legged, slim young
men are in despair.
When a cat is SO mad that her hair
stands on end she has a fur straight
appearance.-Bos Post.
What is to be done for d man who
has no mind of his ownp His wife
should give him a piece of hers.
"A sociable man is one who, when
he has ten minutes to spare, goes and
bethers somebody who hasn't.
The girl who sits on the steps
with him evenings may be said to front
stoop to conquer.-Albany journal.
Figures cannot lie, but they some
times get little crooked in the cash.
on-hand column OF bank statement.
When a number of doctors are
called in to see a patient it is generally
supposed the patient die.-M O.
Piccyune. ,..-. ..-...-... e.. .....-.-
When the gods would destroy they
first tell that the gun is not loaded and
that there's nothing like kerosene to
kindle the fire.
-" That's relation of yours, isn't
,it?' said man to his. wife, at the
same time ; pointing to a donkey.
"Yes, by marriage was her singing
: sLfhe Detroit Free Press has discoy-
cred that one pailful of hot water will
clear corner of loafers quicker than
four policemen, and at much less ex-
pense. : s-.--t g
"A drop of misery will spoil the
flavor of a whole hogshead of happi-
ness. and one little grumbling molar
will almost totally eclipse the brightest
honeymoon. e, -t.fF Eg 80.
All of the New York policemen are
not the dull creatures they are repre-
scented to be. One recently broke up a
prize fight by. arresting the man who
had got licked.
1t is said that one of the prettiest
young ladies in Kentucky has, for no
known cause, been given to fits of cry
ing ever since she was baby. She
must now be the belle of the bawl.
Astronomers tell US that it would
take 100000 years. provided there
was q telegraph wire from the earth to
the nebula in Andromeda, for a dis
patch breach there. So no wire will
be put up --------------------- -
The habits of mans life are
shown by his face and his bearing. It
is, for instance, impossible for one to
be addicted to strong drink for any
length of time without looking dizzy
pated.-N. 2. Herald.
Given, two women. two sewing
machines and an interesting subject to
gossip about, and the intervening space
of twenty feet across the yards between
the windows becomes as nothing. and
the hum of the sewing-machines. is
drowned by the voices of the gossipers.
until it seems but as the whizz Of tie
Observation-Disclosures
-Genjugal affection depends largely
upon mutual confidence. 81 make it
a rule" said q wiseacre to his friend,
+" to tell my wife everything that hap
pens. In this way we manage to avoid
any misunderstanding" Not to be
outdone in generosity the friend re-
piled: "Well, sir, you are not SO open
and frank as am. for tell my wife
great many things that never happen"
e. o. Hill. Superintendent of the
Eastern Division of the Erie Railroad,
has issued an order prohibiting brake
men from flirting with young women
along the line of the road. II is said
the order was issued on the complaint
of an Orange County farmer, who sent
the Superintendent q letter, alleging
that the brakemen threw kisses to his
pretty daughter.
Yesterday an intelligent, bright
eyed English woman. who said she was
years old, visited police
She said she had been
residing at q point one hundred and
miles from Bangor, Me-,
near the New, Brunswick border. Some
time ago she decided to come south
ward to see her children, who reside at
Chester. They sent her one hundred
and eight dollars, but when she received
it She resolved to pay off indebtedness
incurred while she was i'll, and SO ap-
piled every cent of it. Then she made
up her mind not to make any further
drafts upon her children's purses. but
to traverse the entire distance on foot.
A little over three weeks ago she set
out upon her journey. This she &C.
without smolestation on the
way, and with constant tokens of kind
ness from dwellers by the roadside.
Those who heard the plucky old lady's
recital of endurance in the pedestrian
line were so pleased that they took up
quite a substantial collection, and Sc
cured her transportation to Chester to re-
Join her progeny. Philadelphia Times.
The Bed Of an Ancient Lake.
Middle Park, with its 5000 miles, was
,nce a great lake. 1t is now some 5000