Smyrna times., 1879-01-22

The Hire and Lore Classes-Laborers
and scholars.
The man who was carried away by his
feelings has returned safe.
Economy is the order Of the day. Even
the stoveripe is coming out with its last
winters SCOT.
A popular writer, speaking Of the ocean
telegraph, wonders whether the news now
transmitted through the salt water will be
fresh
. Nou must he a quarrelsome fellow"
said phrpnologist to a man whose bumps
he was examining. "Say that again, and
I'll knock you down = was the response.
The seety winter days are come,
The SlippcTeSt of the year;
What time you touch the icy pave
Unless you wear creepers.
Poor CoNsoLAT1oN-A lady complaining
how rapidly time stole away, said, ALAS. /
am near thirty! Do not fret at it,
madame, for you will get further from that
frighttul epoch every day
Talleyrand once complained that the
English had thirty-nine religions and only
| one sauce, which evoked the rptort from a
witty EngliShman, "And the French have
thirty-nince sauces and no religion"
A "PosEE."-A young man, searching
| for his fathers pig, accosted an Irishman
| as follows: Have you seen stray pig
about here?' Pat responded: "Faix,
and how could tell stray pig from any
Other?'
Rabbi Joshua once met a boy who car.
| red something in a covered vessel. " NV
| boy" said the rabbi, "what have YOU in
your covered vessel?" elf it was intended
for you to know" replied the boy, "it
would not have been covered"
At parting at the Chicago railroad sta.
ton" Do not forget me, nor cease to love
me-" murmered the husband. Never,
nevcrw soLbed the wife, and she pulled
out a handkerchief and tied a knot in it,
that she might remember.
In Wetherell churchyard, England, is
the following epitaph, considerably more
than century Old:
In this vain world short was my stay,
! And empty my laughter;
go before and lead the way.
And thou comes jogging after.
First class in astronomy, stand up.
| Where does the sun IiSe?" please, sir,
down in our meadow; seed it yesterday"
Hold your tongue, you Ounce. Where
does the sun rse?" ~ know; in the
east" Fright; and why does it rise in
the east?" Because the east makes
everything rise"
A person who was recently called into
court for the purpose of proving the COR
rectness of a surgeons bill, was asked by
the lawyer whether 1.-The doctor did not
make several visits after the patient was
out of danger?" mo" replied the wit
ness: II considered the patient in danger
as long as the doctor continued his visits"
j. B. H., of Camden, sent the following /:
"a downtown clergyman, in writing a
letter of coincidence to the widow of late
member of the legislature; says, l cannot
tell how panied | was to hear that your
husband had gone to heaven. We were
bosom friends. How sad to think we shall
never meet again r'-Sqlcm IN J. J Stnbeam.
A man once offered to bet that he could
prove that this side of the river was the
: other side. His challenge was accepted,
and pointing to the opposite shore OF the
: river he asked" Is not that one side of
the river2' "Yes," was the answer, of
course. "Agreed," said the man; land is
not this the other side?' Certainly" }"
said the other. Then" said the man,
"pay me the wager, for by your own con.
fession have proved that this side of the
river is the other side" The dumbfounded
antagonist, overcome by this profound
logic, Immediately paid the money.
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