Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-10-23
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Good credit is a fortune to begin
with.
A woman is on trial in Vidalia.
La, for numbering q child by
|pouring scalding water down its
Throat.
There is no disgrace in being
poor; the thing is to keep it quiz
ct and not let your neighbors
know anything about it.
Etiquette says a call should
not be less than fifteen minutes
in length. Book agents have
been known to remain longer.
The world is composed of two
great classes of people. Those
who work and those who spend
all their time getting ready to
work.
Acorrespondent explains why
he hadn't written before by say
ing he s'could not get money e.
Inough together" to buy a postal
card.
He had a downcast look, but it
wasn't caused by business cares
and vexations. His wife had
been rusticating, and was about
returning home.
No man can ever tell how
much money widow is worth
until he marries for it. 1t is one
Of those cases where you have to
take your chances.
There are some things that are
as well kept dark. 1t isn't poll
cy to throw light upon such
subject as an open barrel of gum
powder, for instance.
A Canadian couple, ON their
way to Dakota to settle, weigh
GA pounds; the man 80 pounds,
and the wife 304 pounds. Let
us hope that they viii be careful
what they settle on.
There are too many women in
the world; 10000 more women
than men in Massachusetts,"
growled the husband. sThat is
the Survival of the fittest,' my
dear" replied the wife.
The other day the professor Of
German asked an unregenerate
Junior what the gender Of a ceT-
tain noun was. The Junior
quickly replied: Il think it is
neuter, sir; at any rate, it is neu
ter me. !"
A great many people are leav-
ing Europe and coming to A.
nerica. The chief reason for
leaving it, so far as can be
judged by remarks dropped by
he emigrants, is that it isn't
worth bringing along.
Somebody's coming when the
lew drops fall" she was softly
lumming, when the old man re-
marked, can you bet yer
sweet life, Maria, that he'll think
. thunder-storm's let loose when
le gets here"
Singular, isn't it, that when a
nan gives his wife a dime to buy
! box of halrpins or a gum ring
or the baby, it looks about sew
N times as large as when he
blanks it down on the bar for
title gin and bitters for the
'tomach's sake.
1t is very well for q man to
,oast of his family and hold
himself aloof because his grand
'ather was up in the world, but
t is better to be reasonably
modest about it, because some
me may possibly remember that
was a rope which held him
lp.
a young man in Baltimore
,ought ii lottery ticket and drew
! $4,000 prize. He does not
Snow what to do with his money
now, because he is afraid to tell
lis father Of his luck, for fear ho
viii whip him for gambling
Pass it this way, young man.
Gambling is very wicked.
On the river: "What's the
natter, Alfred? You look un-
,asy. "Veil, my wife, who is
ond of swimming, dived off the
,oat some time ago, and has
lot yet come to the surface; /
IN afraid that something must
lave happened TO her." "IIow
ong has she been under?" "A-
,out two hours"
The young woman who r
DOESN'T scream when a candle
Jug crawls down her back is
he who, later in life, can spank
baby till it thinks the day Of
Judgment has arrived, then go
milling to the parlor and re-
;eiye her friends with an easy
grace that is as soothing as g
lose of morphine.
A Massachusetts, woman was
% jealous of her husbands first
wife that when he died she re-
used to allow him to be buried
reside her. She remarked to
he undertaken at the funeral:
II ain'f a-ooinor TO have that WO-