Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-11-15
HIS FAITH IN PATENT MEDICINE.

The man who stands on dry-goods box on
GamRas Mar t ana tells the public that
a sure cure for this or that complaint finds
about two believers out OF every hundred who
| pass. If he only finds one his expectations are
| answered, and he makes good thing of it. He
| began his talk yesterday with an audience OF
one. 1t was a fat, 1ashy young man Of 25, with
double chin and red neck-tfe, and ''faith''
was written across his face in letters broad and
| plain.
Gentlemen" began the vender, as he looked
the young man in the face, ''do you have a
| feeling of nashua at your stomachs! Ii so, one
| OF these ten-cent bottles OF my world pannersea
will instantly relieve and cure"
Just whatI want" replied the young man,
and he laid down 10 cents and took bottle
Gentlemen" continued the vender :. do you
have backache and chills? II so, l warrant this
pannerSea to cure you at two doses. 1t has been
tried by kings and emperors, and it has given
univer-."
"Been looking for just this cure" Interrupted
the young man, and he paid for a second bottle
and fell back into his old track.
"Gentlemen, it gives me pleasure to assert
that this medicine was originally invented as a
cure for headache" softly remarked the seller
.'When say that it Will cure the worst case Of
headache ever known In from three to five
minutes l SOlemnly mean what l say. Il has
been tried in ten thousand cases"
might as well knock my headache while I'm
about 1t" said the young man to himself, aud
he laid down quarter and received his correct
change for another bottle.
"Ah! gentlemen, it does me go I'd to see that
you appreciate my remedy" SAID the VenQer as
he moved the bottles around. "Are any OF you
troubled with liver complaint or dyspepsia? II
SO, try my pannersea- It has relieved and cured
millions OF suffering human beings
The young man was still the only audience.
Faith frightened on his face, and he laid down
ten cents with the remark
My old liver is always kicking up trouble,
and guess I'll cure her!''
"My fellow citizens, remarked the seller as he
mopped his face, care you troubled with tooth
ache, cutaneous diseases, palpitadon OF the
heart, loss OF sleep or improving toe-nafls?"
ave are !" soiemnly replied the young man.
and he invested in another bottle.
"Americanst you subject to
coughs, hOarseneSs, bronchitis. quinsy, con-
sumption, nightmare, loss of memory, Whoop-
ing-cough, or falling out OF the hair?"
Hanged il we amt ]" whispered the young
fellow with the double chin and he pocketed his
sixth bottle and waited for further oratory His
remarkable faith staggered the dealer, who
finally said:
81 guess you have enough for this time. Take
according to directions and you will soon feel
the beneficial effects.''
"Yes, wili-thank you ever SO mucn-yes-.,
stammered the young man. .This ere remedy
isn't good for fits is IT."
Wen, well" slowly answered the vender-
" that Is, 1t Is not regular cure for HtSn
linen guess I'll take what I've got and get
cured OF all those things you mentioned and
then go for the fits alone and give 'em thunder
and blazes wouldn't you?n
81 guess So"
eyes, that's the way. II you bring out any,
thing for fits want you to save me gallon
Eve been under the weather Just as long as
can stand 1t. Good-by."-[ Detroit Free Psess.