American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1879-06-28
FACTS AND FANCIES.

IT is peculiar feature of the butte
market that a bad article outranks I
good one.-BOStOn Post.
A BEAUTIFUL custom prevails II
many parts of Europe of planting {
tree upon the birth of every child. Il
saves wear and tear of slippers.-Nor
ristoUn Herald.
"THE only real bitter tears" says
some one, I" are those shed in solitude. "
You may bet your life that philosopher
never saw a ten-year-old boy coming
out of the woodshed in company
with his father and a skate strap
Ha,okeye.
AN Oil City boy who had run away
from home, and at last returned, was
asked If his father killed the fatted calf
TOR the prodigal. "Not much" he
replied; "he didn't kill the fatted calf,
but he wanted to slay the prodigal. -
Derrick.
A PRErTILY dressed little girl fell on
4 muddy street crossing, the other day,
and a gentleman fastened to her assist
ance. After cleaning off her clothes h
asked her if he shouldn't escort her
home. "No, thir," answered the di3-
nified little damsel; "if you please, We
amt been introduced. "-Boston Co..
rter.
LITTLE Freddie was undergoing he
disagreeable operation of having his
10. 1x, 20 ho
grumbled at the maneuver. "Why,
Freddie" said mamma, "you ought
not to make such fuss. don'tfus
and cry when my hair is combsd!"
Yes," replied the youthful party, 'b't
your hair amt hitched to your head.n
-Harper's.
THEY were about to produce at OH
of the Paris theaters a play by Mele-
vile and Dumanoir. In . certain scele
one of the actors was to read out tie
name of q halter from the bottom OF a
hat. Melesville, who wrote that partof
the piece, put in the name of his hattr.
Dumanoir, in revising the manuscript,
substituted the name of his halter, md
said nothing about it. The evening Of
the first performance both matters, Who
had been informed, were there awaiting
with impotence the moment which vas
to render them famous. Base deep
ton. 1t was another name which vas
spoken. The actor pulled his own lat
ter.
In an index of municipal officers, Just
published in London, the following city
officers are enumerated: Aleconner,
Bellman, Breadweigher, Aulnager. Bea-
coner, Bear-ward, Bell-ringer, Billet
master, Blower of the Burghmote Horn.
Bridge-sweeper, Brook-warden. Chvig-
or, Cleaner of the Castle Walks, Cleaner
of the Chandelier in Town-hall, Coal
meter, Conduit-warden, Cook, Corn
measurer, Corn-prizer, Town-corporal.
Deacon of the Shambles, Dog-whipper.
Egg-collector, Fen-reeve, Flesh-tasters
CASHIER of Hides, Haymaker, Hayward
Hog driver, Horn-blower, Keeper of til
Pans and Pumps, Bucket-keepers, Mole
catcher, Moormen, Presenter of Butck
ers, Quickener of the City Tenant
Sampleman, Swine-catcher, Tenderef
the Town Wood, and Weeder of Fogt-
paths.
THE following amusing story is of nr.
J. E. Millais, the famous English arfst.
He was introduced to lady who's he
was to take down to dinner, but nseher
he nor his partner caught the other's
name. So soon as they were seated at
the table the lady opened fire viii the
usual stock of questions. "Haw you
been to the Academy" ST haver said
Mr.. Millais. "Aud did you notse that
odious old Millais's picturesP" swell,
yes; saw them, too" Presestly the
champagne came round. Said II. Mil
lais, with his best smile: "I a going
to ask you to take wine with ne, and
not mere sip, but to drain YEN glass
to me, to strengthen your nerve." The
lady pledged him accordingly Then
said the artist, quietly: "Now hat you
.re fortified, may venture totell you
that am the odious old Millaian The
lady put up her hands in horroE ''Good
gracious !'' was all that she col find to
express herself.
MOTHER GOOSE COOKED ovR.
Little Miss Moffett
Sat on a tuffet,
Wondering what her lover wouM say.
He asked for a kiss,
Which caused her such bli0
She hadn't the heart to say naE
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard,
To look for her four per cent eonds,
When she got there
The cupboard was bare,
And she hit the old man wit1 the ton9S.
Ihad a little husband,
No bigger than my thunb;
I let him travel with B11ums
And lived on his income. |
Oil the dusty coarhma1osghter
Not run off with his emioyer's daughter.
Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner.
Eating q strawberry cahe-
When Jacky is dom.
For tho doctor they'll run,
To ease little Jacks stumach- ache.
lou City Ds'rtch.
Small ExpectatiOns.
A foreign Minister here who repre-
sents-well, say Pat,eonia-was called
upon not long since By the guardian of
an orphan lady to vhom an attache of