Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1879-10-25
The Old Family Journal.
VARIETY.


Men rHy bend TO virtue oHt virtue 0"u'o'
bend to meo.
There are % 0Oc unmarried women living IN
Psilslelphia which confirms the report that .
the city is one Of brOtheEly love.
"Have Won uother-in-i,W?" asked a man .
uf a Observation-Disclosures person. No, lie .
replied. "bu, have father 10 pi
&c The white race in Africa" that we read .
1iou,. must have been the race of Prince Ma
poleou's companies to get away from the la'us
The Eoelish WAY department desires to ex-
rlore Tslmsges mouth, In expectation OF hod-
nc the instrument with which Simpson seN
his thousands.
No Young man in Rochester has any chance
With ne fair sex unless De can tell the usmeS
If several thousand stars, and is able TO dis
cover a new planet about once mouth.
A London paper thinks that by residing IN
Europe an American giIl can gradually "sei
rid Of her war; hoop." American girls dout
war whoops now.
Boonets are not worn in heather lands -
Hence churches are not popular there. 10 re-
quires new spring bouuet 10 develop the
latent Christianity iu woman.
Do the subjects Of thc King Dahomey
Keep Sunday % Keep Sunday be replied,
eyes, and every other thing they can lay their
hands on
4 religious exchange says POLITICALLY that
Adam an1 Eve BEGAN 10 spring aud GUIDED ~
carly summer We ALWAYS thought that they
had a fall trade.
Il is now that the dentist smiles from ear 90
ear. and looks Ike an aurora borealis on stills.
as be ob crvcs the festive Young lady cracking
hickory nuts with bor front teeth
AC5orai1 nan dropped dead receutly-
The iury thought something allied his heart,
and were unable % ascertain The name Of tie
man behind the tree ct Tie time q tie OCCUR
rense.
TIE romance Of housekeeping receives set
back when the servant girl IS taken suddenly
IN and the youthful husband breaks his favor
ite inger-uail yius 70 turn tic mattress CO.
the bed.
How nicely the corn pops" said young
man, who was sitting with his sweetheart be-
fore the fire." "lcs." she respor del ttmure-
IS. cts got over being green Then the
young man saw The poiut, and be poppcd-the
question.
London Fun: Lady Of he house don't
wish YOU t. stay with ne, Mary, II you can
better yourself Mary. the maid: Il amt 90
better myself care so much about, mum; it's
90 improve my condition.
A young lady being taken 90 task for tight
lacioe. said that she res1rted % the practice
On purely economical grounds. How is
tbat2" asked Der reProycT. Why she re-
piled. " lace tightly simply to prevent waist
fll,uess'
He had an aUburn-laired girl and promised
20 take her ont riding She met bin at the
door when be drove up and exclaimed. Hci-
10 Ready She misunderstood him and they
don't speak now. Thus slang nakes another
slap at loves young dream.
There Is O vi age 10 New Hampshire which
las produced iweuty-six editors 10 vas DO
al.usuu 10 q IS Circumstance that pious doa-
con remarked: " Yes. tlcre are twcnty-siN OF
EN- bot as they've an left tue town reckon
The Lord won't lay itup asiu rs
\ ecutlcman complaiued to OLD Bauis,er
that some malicious person had cut oa his
horses tail, which. as he meant % eel him
would be great drawback. Then said
Charles, "you must sell him wholesale -
Wholesale. says the other, " How sou
Because you cant retail him"
"You look rs il you had been 90 a spree
Your face is blo,chel; your ewes are almost
closed, aud your nose would inspire new sa-
loon keeper with confidence" 81 have mere
Is been studying the customs and institutions
o; the mesquite
\ Georgia cc,orcd lelaiicc soci,iy was late
q b.. a.. O. e. 81
i0guan % work iar wages 90 plyt Of TIC
crop?" AT old uncle spoke ihe sense Of Oh.
meeting when be SAIL. "Blfc was De hast. d
dey could Only be bruug togcdier somehow
Not satisfied with canals railways aai other
gigantic achievements e modern science. or
with the wonderful excavations made by arch-
biologists, a French clergyman wants to dig
GOr the bodies of the swallowed up Egyptians
in the Red Sea. Here is another Lig thing ior
American capitalists.
Practically The nan who win allow grass
Go gross among his vegetable. is NOT Go 90 be q
gardener Aud yct poet, VII tell l.m that le
wlo causes two blade, e srlss to grow where
nothing grew b,fJre. is public belefactar-
Agricultural ili-s are too much occupied by
b9-se-Facius o. consider ,be question.
The sight 20 man wheeling @ taly-caI-
rage Boz The street BE- sign rot taat thc infant
Is weak lJ' that tle mans wife Is strong. -
And yet if sc were o. judge from che anna De-
grin with which the fond father. under these
circumstance, ss'uics every passing acQgairt-
ancc, we might enormously suppose that Dc
was really ding 70 gst fJr the fen Of tle thing.
Good afternoon, nv dear friend. I am de-
lighted % see you and % what am indebted
ilr the pleasure @! this visit I'll tell you
that presently On, first permit me Co embrace
your charming child Can't my ltte man .
Yes. SIR. 10 You'll prsu-iso uot 90 cut into papa.
Cut Into your papa Yes Cause papa sail.
when he saw you was q, ming, Here comes
thai fellow 20 bore ne again
This dear children, is tie shoe of a Chinese
lady; see bow little 90 is-what narrow sole
IL has-li bet % isn't as narrow as Deacon
- Father says DIS soul Will fan
through a crack 10 tLe door some day ADD get
lost" was The shsil comment of boy given
u sharp listening. The superintendent put
the Chinese Shoe iu his pocket and requested
the school 20 siog, "PuH e. tAe shore.
The cx-Khelive has arrived az Naples. with
four ot lis wives and twO iuudrcl and twrn-