New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1879-03-12
VARIETY AND HUAO...

VARIETY AND HUAO.:.
"A greedy mother-A voracious
The laborer is worthy Of his ex-
celsior.
Why is it people boot dog and
shoe hen?
The birthplace Of Burns The
kerosene can
The II 100 widow is the only one
that cremates- the other remates.
To produce 4 telling effect com.
municate q secret to q woman.-U Utica
IN. ~ Observer.
lt is only the fool who is rash enough
to think himself wise man; the really
wise knows he is q fool.
: It is not good for man to be alone.
unless he holds both bowers and the
ace.-Ro,n. IN. ~ Sentinel.
Massachusetts officials have OBJ
served that inconsistencies is q frequent
cause of insanity among immigrants.
There are two kinds of men that
tell the truth lone from force of cir
cnC.stances and the ol.ler for change.
-Es,aira IN. ~ Gazette.
The Boston Transcript saws: .sMys.
terry deepcns in every family" All;
the BostOnians are serving hash in
deeper dishes. ehe -Norristown Herald.
Gen. Spinner says the climate Of
Florida cures his rheumatism. Now
if he could only find something that
would take the cramp out of his signa-
ture. - Hasck- Eye.
"A Southern Judge read - Betscy
and are OUT to couple that came
unto him seeking writing of divorce
mcnt. and they were reconciled and
withdrew the suit.
"A girl who had been very observ-
ant Of her parents mode of exhibiting
charity, when asked what generosity
was, replied: 1T is giving to the poor
all the old stuff you don't want your
self"
Georgia has village Mayor of re-
source, who having to commit two pris-
oncrs when there was no calabOose,
turned the box of wagon over them
upon the ground, and anchored it by
placing cotton-bale on top.
"A physicians little daughter,
called upon for . toast. gave: "The
health Of papa and mamYa and all the
| world. But she suddenly corrected
the sentiment: Not all the world,
for then papa would have no pa
tients.''
-" Keep way from dat Teller, I tell
you," said Uncle Rube to his sable
daughter; "keep way from him. He's
like what de 'Postle John lived on in de
wild ness" Flows datp'' she asked.
"Low cuss an wild, honey" replied
Uncle Rube.
| "A woman's rights journal declaims
against the custom of giving bride
away at marriage ceremony, declar-
ing that it is relic of the old opinion
that daughters were slaves of father,
and could be given or sold to any sutton
who pleased him.
-Sympathetic old lady giving mon.
cy to solemn-lOoking tramp: lis it
your inability to procure work, my
good man, that causes your detected
air?' s. L. T. preparing to light out)
No, nom; it is my liability to git
suthin' to do that keeps me all the
time pensive and cast down.
-Apropos of the big snowfall
What makes the man appear 20 sads"
!. Asked little Jacob Grow;
What makes him draw that awful sigh.
:. And curse this Jolly snow!''
BE st!i!, and blame him not.
| For cruel fate has act him down
X Upon a corner lot."
--FNlto,, (N ~ Times.
Arthur, a youngster of five, fres.
coed his face and hands with his NAM
mas paints, the other day, and, when
he met her soon after. she asked:
Why, what have you been doing,
my child, TO get your hands in such q
statep' That's q secret" said Arthur.
You must tell me how you got your
hands SO soiled.' II can't tell you.
mamma secret" arthur. -
said she, quite in earnest now, "if you
don't tell me l shall certainly whip
you.'' The boy hesitated a moment,
as if balancing his mind between two
horns Of a dilemma, and then he said.
plaintively, You'll whip me If do
And he escaped q spanking.
"A Norwich officer (not q police.
many who had unearthed q culprit and
was pursuing him at the top Of his
speed in - street in certain part Of
the town, cried out to an advancing
ncighbor toward whom the fugitive was
running: ::'Stop thief" The neigh
Dor looked demurely on as the thief
sped past, and made no effort for his
capture. why didn't you stop that
nan?" asking the officer as he came up
painting and out of time. "Why didn',
! stop him3'' was the crushing reply.
That's pretty good. Why didn't you
pay for that calf you had Of me year
ago?' The officer is unable yet to sec
the relevancy of the answer.-No1Wich
Rulleti,a