River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-03-27
A Sarcastic Mendicant.

I'm very hungry" said haggard
tramp, with very red eyes, as he stood
oowing obsequiously at the side entrance
of a Court street house. won't you
please ma'am be so good as to give me
something to eat? Anything viii do
odds and ends-cold or warm-it don't
matter much-tor | am not one OF them
high toned, fried oyster fellows"
my husband has forbid len me to en-
courage idleness by giving away any
more provisions" replied the lady of the
house. "He says you fellows have sort of
Free Masonry way of letting others know
every house at which you have been fed,
and it is sure TO bring troop of lazy
vagabonds upon us who would starve be-
fore they would lift their hand TO work.
50 you viii. have to move on and get your
breakfast somewhere else"
but I'm not vagabond, ma'am; I'm
hard working, industrious man. came
up on boat from Memphis TO see my
sick mother, who lives out near Camden,
and isn't expected to live. was robbed
on the boat of every cent | had and all
my clothes, while | was in bed. / do
not like to beg, but Camden is a good
L I
an empty stomach. Think of the out
stretched arms of poor sick mother
toward her absent child, aud put wings
on my feet with few cold potatoes. I'm
Just at the point where / can eat them
without salt"
II can't do it, They all have story
about like that The last man fed had
to so to Columbia inside of twenty-four
hours to save mau from hanging, but
two DAYS afterward | saw him down town
so drunk he couldn't keep his mouth
shut"
"Well, / never drink. fl hadn't been
robbed could show you M Murphy
ribbon that have worn till it's raveled
into strings. Long years ago swore at
my mothers bending knee-the same one
that now means on her couch of Jain
because l am not with her-that would
never touch the blighting cup, and l
havn't from that time up to this very
minute. Can't you help me get there in
time to comfort her declining hours with
the joyful tidings that | have been stead
fast through all emptations, by giving
me the cold grub you had intended to
dump into the garbageboxl" "Im awful
hungry"
81 can't help it, must obey my hus-
band-his orders were positive" said the
woman snappishly.
well, you're the most extraordinary
woman ever saw, if you do. But say,
can't you give me the paper the beefsteak
was brought home in, to chew as l go
along. 1t may fool my stomach for
while and make it brace me up by think
ing something better will be along pres
emily. You'll do that much towards cas-
ing parents anxious heart, won't YOU"
"No, | won't"
"Well, then, give me paper and let
me sit by the fire and read the advertise
meat of meat market, and show me the
place it tells all about provisions. Even
that would be feast-for the imagina-
tion-which has beer about the extent of
my living lately. You WON'T believe it,
may be, but it is fact, that all the nour-
ishment I've had for two days is the bill
of fare painted on the outside of a Fifth
avenue restaurant. Can you think Of that
and keep your stale Tread on the inside
of the cupboardI"
Eyes, can, AID / want you to make
yourself scarce without any more palaver,
or | shall send my boy to call a police
man." exclaimed the indiguant woman.
'Even the photograph Of chicken
would be some comfort" said the man
by way of banter, as he moved off, "and
if you don't use soap in your dishwater,
a few potato parings sliced up in it would
be a regular barbecue for me-"