The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1879-04-19
VARIETY.

The proper division Of labor is sometimes COM
pretended by children. A pair of scissors was
lost, and the little suggested that prayer be
said, asking that they might be found. There
was however, a lurking consciousness that there
ought to be o combination of prayer and work,
90 the youthful philosopher said g Now,
mother, I'm tired; so I'll pray while you hunt. F"
Women resemble books. When first published
they are easily sold, and fetch good price.
Bota Il their first seasons are bound IN plain
muslin. Next year both require more expen-
siye getting up to be marketable. The older
they grow the more ornate they must become,
like volumes Of old worn-out engravings and dull
stories that are vamped up at Easter and Christ
mas in satin covers and sold as gift books to the
unwary. The above is copied from the note
book Of an unmarketable old bachelor.
A negro minister, who married rather sooner
after the death Of his wife than some Of the Sis
ters thought proper and becoming, excused HIM
self as follows: " My dear bredren and sisters ::
Ny grief was greater dan could bear. turned
eberV way for peace and comfort, but none come.
T sarched de Scripchers from Ginisee to Rebela-
ton, and found plenty OBJ promises to de widder,
hat nary one 10 de widderer. So i took IL dat
de Lord didn't waste sympathy on man when
it was in his power to comfort himself; and
habbin fuss rate chance to marry IN dc Lord,
did so, and would do so again. Beside, bred
rem, consider dat poor Betsy was juss as dead
as she would eber be. p"
Aehmet Veik, who is now at the head Of the
Ministry at Constantinoplo, is rather free with
his tongue. A year ago he was called TO attend
a grand council Of the dignitaries Of the Empire,
and was asked by the President what he thought
Of the situation what was the first thing to be
done He replied deliberately: "ln my opinion,
If we would save the State, the first thing to be
done is to hang half the members Of this council!
Ia 20 nf Emmanuel
and of how remarkable it was that he should
have died before the Pope. " Yes" be said,
ssIt was a mean little intrigue Of the King TO
slip of ahead Of the Pope to the other world and
secure the best place, that he might continue Is
worry the old man there.
Wit sometimes consists Of an unexpected def
milton Of words. - Father" said youthful
prodigy to the professor Of mathematics, Z" can
YOU tell me the difference between one yard and
two wards ?'' In an instant the mathematical
brain began to run over the theOrems Of Euclid,
hut no clear answer came. The professor looked
into the bows face and remembered that Haydn
played the cathedral organ when he was i've
wears old and began to wonder If this boy was
equally gifted. ' Do you give 1t uPF" Yes,
and solemn. '' Well, the real difference is a
fence, father" The boy went out to play mar
bles, while the old gentleman thought OF great
many things which he couldn't express.
Things are great or small according to the end
of the microscope through which you look. Some
people manage to look at their troubles through
the upper end, and so incontinently magnify
them, and at their good fortune through the
lower end, and so minimize them. The story Is
told of man of science who looked at a mite
taken from an old-fashioned Stilton, and who
was in turn looked at
He turned the instrument up and down,
TILL getting proper sight, he
FxcIafmed-as he gaZed with puzzled frown-
ssG5ood gracious p and " Highty-tighty
The sight is enough to alarm the town
A mite Is q monster mighty
While the philosopher was looking down, the
mite looked up, and his reflections are also worth
attending to, together with the moral which the
poet deduces:
=. One sees the truth through this tube so tall,
said the mite, a. he squinted through IL
Man IL so wondrously big after all,
II the mite-wOrid only knew IL =
Whether a thing is large or small
Depends on the way you view IL