Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-12-19
HAPPY HONEYMOON.
s BucOlic Gr0Om's Bridal Tour to the
Paris OF America.
ClneInnatl Commerclal.

He arrived in the city few days
since, with a brand new wife, and his
sister and her "feller" as attendants
His mission was to see all the sights OF
the Paris Of America, and to pass the
first few days Of his honeymoon in a
general good time. The party found
their way to o popular Fourth street
hotel, but in order to have fair under
standing as to terms, ETC., the happy
groom left his wife and companions on
the sidewalk, and went inside to make
n bargain. Approaching Tom. the
gentlemanly clerk, the groom said:
"Say, mister what do you charge a
day for board in this tavern2"
Tom-That depends altogether on the
location of the room-two and two and
a half a day are our terms.
CROMWELL, there's four Of us, and
we want to stay two or three days-me
and my wife and my sister and her
Teller.
Tom--If that's the case We'll make it
81 II day all round, and give you good
rooms. Where is your party? When
will they be here?
Groom-They are out on the side
walk. guess we'll try your tavern, SO
will bring 'em in.
Starting for the door, he stopped
suddenly, and then returned to the
counter with puzzled look. Finally
addressing the clerk, he said
"But, say, mister, how are you going
to fix us2 You see, me and my wife
just got married, and we brought my
sister along for company. Mother
said, before we left home, that she
must sleep in the same room with me
and my wife. Have you got room
with two beds in it?"
Tom-Ill fix That by giving you u
suite of rooms, and your sister can oc-
cupy one Of them.
Groom-That won't do. | want Sis
to BIO near us.
1om-The rooms adjoin each other,
and you can leave the door leading
from one to the other open.
Groom-Then what will you do with
my sisters Teller?
Tom (ready to faint)-Why, give
him room some place to himself.
Being thus assured, the eorn-fed
groom sought his party on the outside,
explained the situation, and they were
finally conducted by the private en-
trance to the parlors, and soon after
shown to their rooms. Half nh hour
later they formed u skirmish line and
began search for the breakfast room.
A servant conducted them to the ele-
vator, and they soon after entered the
dining room in two pairs VERY hard
to draw toy, marching hand IN hand to
the table.
After breakfast the bridal party again
assembled to the parlors by the elevator,
and later the groom descended to the
Office by the stairway, and again nc
costing Tom, said:
"Look here, mister, do you charge
anything extra for riding up and down
on that slide2"
Tom-What shdeP
Groom-Why, that thing by the din
ing-room door, where the boy pulls a
rope and the box goes up and down,
Just as no wants it.
Tom--Oh, the elevator, you mean.
No; that il kept for the accommodation
of guests, and il is mt your service any
time, dino charge.
The cheap rates Of toll on the eeva-
tor evidently pleased the bucolic groom,
and gave the affable Tom warm place
in his big heart For two days,the groom
in passing in and out was sure TO regale
his new friend with the results of his
observations while visiting the big
bridges, the theaters, Muse Hall, the
fountain and other points Of interest.
On the evening Of tho first day the
bridal party returned to the hotel about
five o'clock, worn out and weary with
While slowly vending
their way up the stairway leading from
tho Office to TIE parlors the groom stop
ped suddenly at the sight of Tom, and
and beloved OUT Say Mister, you
can toll them in the dining-room that
they needen't wait supper for us to-
night. We're tired, and going to bed
right away"
On being assured that supper would
not be delayed ON their account the
happy party Sended their way sky
ward.
When the time fer their departure
arrived, the groom insisted on setting
with no one but Tom for the board bill,
and he was compelled to escort the
party to the carriage.
Finally tho moment for the parting
arrived, when, Tom blushing, kissed
tho bride goodbye, and gallantly pas
sed hel into the carriage. Then the
gushing groom was about to follow suit,
and give Tom n regular old.fashioned
hug, when the latter, suspecting his in
tentions, quick rs thought pushed him
into the vehicle, slammed the door,
paid tho driver to so quicker than
lightning to the Little Miami depot, and
the groom TO so To.
- -
Messages by Pneumatic Tubes.
Continental Gazette.