New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1879-01-15
five minutes, and there amt bit Of juice
init. Come on, let's go.,'

tV0k Jul XIV NOS9s
andspptit mp in his: front yard t. scare
away 'tramps.. The next morning q
tramp with 2 bad smile, shoulders Ike q
load ofhay, "a club with death smiling out
of every knot ofit, raped at the front
door, demanded some hot biscuit, meat,
potatoes and 9 cup Of coffee, and asked,
pleasantly, "How is the dog2'
q A Germantown bachelor, being twitted
by some ladies with his single state, and
asked why it was he had never married,
said @ G.r Gs & ,,s .s 80 sss, Lire
II don't know exactly howsit is. but ]
have always felt an lndlsposition to mar
rage, ! can't see why it should be,either.
I surely don't inheritit. formy. father and
mother-were both married.
And he actually never saw the bull he
had perpetrated till his hearers burst out
laughing at him. IA
Its written in afine, female hand. It's
poem, and ask ks s.What was the dream
Of your live2" 1T was signed Elfrida."
We haven't room for the poem, but just
to quiet Elfrida I'VE will answer her. con.
undrum. The dream Of our life has been
to be rich enough to put on clean shirt
every day, and to have two suits of
clothes, with a pair of suspenders to each
pair Of pants But it. has never been
realized, Etfrida. Castles in the air.
Keokuk Constitution. II & E vi
10 some pungent remarks of profess
slonal brother, Western lawyer began
his reply as follows: "May it please this
court: Resting upon the couch OF repub-
lican equality as do, covered with the
blanket O.. constitutional panoply as am
and. protected by the egis of American
liberty as feel myself to be, 1 despise
the buzzipg of the professional insect
who hassjust set down, and defy his flu
tile attempts to penetrate, with his puny
sting, the insterstices of my imperyious
covering sp n 4...r7'.g.,
Ayoung man sends US long essay on
"The True Aim Of Journalism" We
haven read the article, bat suppose the
author, like every one else, prefers the
Smith s. Wesson, navy size, No. "A calib-
e1, to any other pistol. In this locality,
especially, is the aim of the journalist of
the greatest Importance, and the man
whose hands shakes and who can't hit an
outraged community's third vest button
three times out of five has no business
trying to run a paper in California
| Fran CISCO Nems- Letter. ~ ~ ~.
A little chlmney-sweeper entered the
''tommy" shop at colliery and asked 70,
three. penny loaf of bread. The shop
man handed HIM one. The boy looked
at 1T, and said it was ''small yen.' 90,
said the shopman cit will be- the less tc
carry!' The lad then put two. pence half
penny on the counter and ran off. The
shopman hastened to the door, and
shouted for him to come back, as he had
not left money enough. CO., cried the
lad, sit will be the less 10 count!'.
One night last week, at a party in To
ronto, a young man was frightening
some of the young ladies by daring cx
hibition Of a revolver, when the weapon
was accidently discharged, the bulle
entering the young mans side, inhictine
serious wound. We have said grea
many harsh things about these youns
men whose revolvers contain more thar
| their heads, bnta we retract everything
now. At last a revolver has been founc
that knows which man to shoot. May
his Observation-Disclosures aackeye.
| A Methodist parson, called to preach
at an out,of- 1he-way town in California
was informed before entering the pulpit
that he must be careful, as many of the
assembled congregation were ''roueh s,
and would not hesitate to disturb him il
his remarks didn't suit. The holy mar
made no reply, but having reached The
desk he took from his pocket two 1evolv
ers, and placing one on each side of tint
Bible gave a sharp glance around tht
room and said, "Le: us pray" A more
orderly service was never conducted.
The Montreal papers report that tn
mysterious lights which have been motto
ed on the lower st. Lawrence River ant
on the Gulf for q century have been TN
usually: brilliant this year. Blue ant
yellow flames are seen about midnight, a
of ship on fire, but, as they are ap
preached, they fit farther away, and dis
appear in the morning mist. Old sailor
have observed that their, unusual brillian
cy always betokens heavy fall and winte
gales, and October has certainly contirme
their expectations, whatever winter ma
do. --..-.
a young man GROVE INTO Aenla, ono
| the other day with some friends, to NEE
a train. Arriving at the depot, treigh
train was standing on the side track, an
the countryman, not seeing any convent
ent place to tie up, deliberately hitche
his horse to the rear car of the freigh
and proceeded to promenade the walk
around the depot while waiting for hi
s train. What was his surprise when b
saw his hitchine post pull out for Cineir
natl, with his horse and wagon bringin
up the rear in not the best Of order.
wsuds not BE proper to record the rt
marks ct the young man on the subjet