River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-07-17
Miscellaneous Gossip.

The goat always gives evidence in re
bu,tal.
Many young man dates his happiness
from his wedding day-and many anoth
er don't
Ii is an old saying, but very pretty
one, that "A blush is ike pretty girl, for
| it becomes woman.
An exchange tells of an Alabama lady
who cries nearly all the time and yet
fat. Her fat is laid on i'll tiers.
The Germans, the world over celebrated
for their thrift have maxim that "paint
ing is no expense
Mathemaucians must stand one side
| whe the green grncer's clerk takes his
pencil from behind his big ear and pro-
ceeds to divide seven by one.
At the close of the sermon the minis
ter became impressive. Raising his voice,
he SAID Judgment judgment.' and
small boy in the vestlbule shouted "Out
on first"
Tourist (who is staying in the neigh
borhood for the fshing): s. Is it possible
that you keep the pig in the house with
YOU r. Pat: "And why not SURF
Sure, isn't there Everything in it that the
cr'athur would want 2"
"John, did you go around and ask how
old Mrs. Jones is this morning, as | told
on to do last nightl" 'Yes, sir" We'll
what's the result?'' "Shc said that seeing
Won q had the impudcnce to send to ask
how old she was, she'd no objection to
telling you that she's seventy-four."
A cabinet maker can make flower
stand the hottest day il the season, but a
washer-woman can't make linen collar
stand more than fifteen or twenty minutes
after the mercury crawls out at the top
of the thermometer and begins to climb
the lightning rod.
Tourist; "Well, my man, what way do
| | 90 to inverness? TOnald without open
ing his eyes0 straight on. y Tourist; "lf
YOU can show me lazier trick than that
ii give you half crown" Tonald
(@ithont opening his eyes) Just drap it
in ma pouch
| ''Ma, has sister Floy ever travelled any"
"No, child, no. Then, when was lynn
under the sofy Sunday night, and sister
and Mr. John come in from church and
was a settin' in the big rocking-cheer,
how come her to say that the incest land
she ever was in was Lapland2"
Too many of us are in the very doubt
full position of the poor fellow who
writhed under numerous gossipy reports,
ami who at last published card OF de-
| fiance in which he declared that not a
single one of the lies IN circulation about
| him were true.
lI.r l. ngl-sa nv q
peddler if he wanted spices or cloves,
the following colloquy took place: "Vat
for want um?n asked the proprietor.
.To take away the smell of beer from the
breath. of course" exclaimed the peddler.
"Take away dot smell of beerm ex-
CLAIMED the man behind the counter;
my Colt! you got Something's vot makes
der smell stay on, buys him!"
A clock made entirely OF bread has
lately been received in Milan, from Peru.
1t was constructed by an Indian, who,
having no means of purchasing material,
saved portion of the soft part of his
daily bread for the purpose. He solidi-
fed it with a certain salt which rendered
it very nard and insoluble in water. The
clock keeps good fine, and the case. also
Of hardened bread, displays artistic tai
ent.
They are so preeocieus iu the neighbor-
hood of Worcester Mass "My little
seveu-year old girl, writes friend, "was
in the sitting-room alone with her uncle,
and dreamily looking from the window
Without turning her head, she said
@Uncle Horace, eight and seven make
fifteen. don't theyg9 He replied that she
was right. ssThen, said she, in half so
liloquy. 1T is only eight years before
.. shall have beau, and, oh ] dread it.
II A manufacturer of cod-liver oil thus
defies competition: The Goldfish in The
| open sea are pursued by whales, SHARKS
: etc, and live in continual terror; hence
: like all animals under the same condi
: tons, have liver diseases, jaundice, ano
) TIE rest. | avoid the mistake Of ordina
i ~ manufacturers BY obtaining my fist
where no marine monster can gain access
+ They live peaceably and die healthy
This is why my oil is the best
: Robert Burdette. upon his return to hi
: sanctum at Burning ION, says: II hav'
: acquired such easy, familiar relation
d with the people Of the house that tn
r baby has already emptieti the ink int
f one Of my boots aud the mueilage int
i the other, and Is drawing a map 0
n Hawkeye creek On my coat with q piec
q Of beef gristle and glass Of milk, Hi