Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1879-04-01
STORY OF a HERRING.
A herring? Bah!

"A nerrlnS! Dan
My dear sir, will you please to take s
reef in your sneer, and give the herring
chancep
withered object is at best but hunger
Notwithstanding mess; but if you
will follow its career from the time il
got lost from somebody's basket until
it ceased to be used as promulgator OF
human happiness, you will in justice to
this odoriferous and much-scorned finny,
confess that it really had mission.
For practical yet modest wielder of
fate, give me the herring that lied
Harper found one night as he was going
after his pretty sister at the Blank thea
ter.
A deceptive parcel it presented, as it
lay on the pavement, wrapped in q white
paper, neatly tied around with string
lied made q grab for it, with thrill
of Joyous expectation.
'.Golly, maybe it's a bonanza.' he
exclaimed. crushing toward a restaurant
window near and eagerly scanning his
=" find" his dirty little digits trembling
with exciting hopes supposed to be hid
den in "bonanza. F%
Hang it! herringm Oh, the dis
gust, the concentrated disappointment,
contained in the kick that helpless little
fishreceived as Ted flung it from him
into the gutter.
"Ted ran his hands down deep into
his pockets, and meditated upon the
shallowness of hope and the hollowness
of life generally. He had not helped
Longfellow write his Psalm of Life, y
but he was the personification of the
line,
f.And things are not what they seem"
Hang it ALL" he muttered, If that
had a-been million bonanza, me and
Nell would a-gone to the Fifth avenue
hotel and lived like gentlemen, and we'd
a-gone to the conternent and got our
names in the papers like high-toners-
by-Jawg."
This last explosive evidently meant
something quite foreign to his mutter-
ings, for he made sudden dive after the
abused herring, and, wrapping it into a
neat parcel again, he assumed mild
and businesslike air, although his eyes
twinkled with some hidden idea, and en-
tered the restaurant.
Say, mister, buy a blind?'"
"a what?h exclaimed waiter.
"a blind "a something what's got
value, and you don't know what It's till
yous paid fer it. -
Get out, you little vagabond! None
of your smart tricks here.n the bartend-
er cried with an angry move toward
Ted; but one of the gentlemen pres
ent interfered; saying, with iocular
glance at ''Ted:n
Let him alone. Come here, my boy.
and give US a peep at your blind -
But Tied made for the door and would
have escaped if he had not been caught
by the speaker, who laughingly wanted
to know what was in the parcel
e How shud | know?n Ted y retort-
ed, with the wit Of an embryo politi-
clan: .Taint no put-up job, honor
bright--taint! =
Where did you get ftp"
Found it right outside of this here
door,
The gentleman took the package from
"Ted's" reluctant grasp, fingered it,
smelt of it and e2ith knowing smile at
Ted, remarked
Found it, did you, and, supposing
some of us lost it, thought you would
sell it for the reward?"
Yeas" the young speculator drawl-
ed, looking down at the end of his nose.
that he was diligently scratching to
avoid meeting the humorous scrutiny of
his interlocutor; then added, courteously:
81 must go. Ny sister she's a-watin'
for me to take her home, and guess the
theater is out now"
ooh, no, it's time enough yet for an
other act,'' the gentleman replied, de-
tanning Ted by gentle force. "Is
your sister young and prettypn
You bet" >" Ted . cried with enthu-
siasm, '.and she is going to be second
Lotta after awhile. You see, she amt
been at it long yet; but she gets enough
money already to support men heri"
so you are a pair Of orphans, are
you?n
II should think so. We amt ALWAYS
been poor, neither; but after mother
died father he took opium worse than
ever, and nobody didn't buy his pictures
and he had no money to buy paint
Then my uncle you know him as
plays the three balls-he got hold ot
father, and it didn't take long to use
us up after that" lied /" said this last
with solemn wisdom, joined with 1
sorrowful comprehension of his family
troubles that was as touching as ridicu
lous-touching from its apparent truth
and ridiculous in its effort to invite at
tention to the fact that the little nara
tor was not of common scrub stock"
Ted had by this time quite an audi
ence,. who became interested in hi.
wor dly-wlse, ingenious little face, ant
when his first friend proposed an q auc
tion,n then and there, to dispose of tina
mysterious "blin parcel, the good