The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-11-19
ALL SORTS.

ALL SORTS.
Softly the silvery moon shown down
In the midnight cold and clear.
And the tones of couple wooing
Were born to the listening ear
Like the whispering words OF some dark plot
ln the stories to children told,
her voice hoated upwards through the air.
80, Charley, your nose is cold!'
We do not know why she should have
said this, for it is hardly possible that the
young mans nose could have been cold
enough to have frosted the air all around
the block, but that she did say it is beyond
the peradventure of doubt, and you may
solve the mystery as best you know how.
-Stubenvstle Herald.
4 correspondent of the Chicago Times
accused Grant of bad manners. When
the greatest General Of the age" wants
anything at the table he never. or at least
hardly ever, asks for it. but simply points
the slow, unerring index fnger of his
right hand at it, as if he would say,
: Gimme some o that.
A young lady who had been married a
little over year wrote to her matter ot-f fact
old father, saying. I'VE have the dearest
little cottage in the world, ornameuted
with the most charming little creepers
you ever saw" The old man read the
letter and exclaimed. Twins, by thun-
der l''-keoLuk Constitution
How came these holes in your elbows?''
said the Widow Smith to the irresponsible
small boy. "Oh, mother, hid behind the
sofa when Jack Horner vas sayin' to our
julie that bed take her even if you had to
be thrown in; aud he dida' know | was
there, and so, held 10 and laughed 10 my
sleeves till burst EN-"
''Luckiest man [ ever knew everything
succeeds with him. He mad only to say
what he wanted, and he got it. Why,
confound it. [ was walking with him one
day-the very last day of his life-and he
said to me: Nv hen | die, want to die
suddenly" Got run over that very night,
BY hokeyl Ever see such luck Pr
Columbus Democrat.
i hocEiand man read that one should
endeavor to draw something useful from
everything he saw, and nobly resolved 10
profit By the teaching. That night, when
the moon was hidden, he essayed to draw
number of cord wood sticks from his
neighbours woodpile, and got filled so foil
of rock salt out of a gun that he won't be
able 10 taste anything fresh for the bal
auoe of his natural life .-Rockland Cour.
Ter.
Take any one Of dozen men who could
not tell jackplane from a locomotive, or
the bloom of health from the erysipelas,
and he will discover the most intimate
knowledge of the several functions Of the
stomach, liver, spleen, kidneys. eft al,
showing himself to be on speaking terms
with the duodeDum and hand-in-glove with
the alimentary canal. while landing a
noddinr acquaintance, at least, with the
entire internal economy OF the human
IN achine. Boston Transcript
This, at last, is the mellow Indian sum-
mer, that delightful season which pre-
cedes the setting in of winter, the season
ip which the noble red man was wont to
make his last grand reid of the year on the
game of the forest and the white women
| and children of the frontier, setting fire to
the praries as he went and trusting to the
snow and cold 10 cover his retreat AS
the number of Indians has been greatly
| reduced OF late years, the quantity of In
dian summer has been proportionately cut
off, and bowling snow storm may sweep
| down on you just as you begin to reach for
your linen buster. : Baltimore Gazette
Did you wipe your feet on the mat,
Fred, as you came in?" "Well, nc.
didn't dearie. thought" That's
Just like you; coming right in on this
brand new carpet without once thinkin q
of the labor it costs to-" But thought,
my own one" Yes. I suppose you did
| think, but not as you should have, or you
would not have come in on such a muddy
day-without wiping your feet" But |
thought-there, now, let me finish
thought, you know, 1t would do if wiped
my shoes on the mat. and deferred wiping
my feet until I'd shelled off the outside
wrappers aud there was towel handy. u
Alasl for the evasion. She could forgive
him all but that - YanE.ers fInaefta