St. Landry democrat., 1879-06-21
@11aits And And ]l)hims,

Judge rot, lest ye beshot-[ Chicago
Times
Good name for steamboat steward-
ess-Bertha:
Pride gaeth before fall, but great
deal of bad language cometh after.
"A mans curiosity never reaches the
female standard until some one tells him
his name wfs in yesterdays paper.
The sol5iier may draw useful les
son from tie old carpet. 1t shows it's
colors the palmer the more it is beaten.
..Bonneta are not worn in heather
lands. HeEce churches are not popular
there. 1t requires new spring bonnet
to develop The latent Christianity in
woman.
"A gentleman who was trying
think of the word Universalist, but couT
not get hole of it for the moment, ex-
claimed: why, he's one of those Ge3-
sulphurizerz."
1t is a good suggestion that negro
minstrel blacks his face in order to hide
his bushes when he makes his usual
stale joke.-: New York Herald.
An actor recently returned from
the mining districts was asked if he had
a full house on his hrst appearanc g, to
which he responded, L" Full house! yer.
they were al drunk.
Out in 1he oil regions people carry
nitro-glycer.ne around in jugs. The
railroad companies are continually en-
the watch to prevent its being taken on
the cars.
-" What are you trying to read pr
asked visitor of an old gentleman who
was noddinE over the evening journal.
"Oh," replied his wife, that's his
snooze pape:."
"A cartridge is said to have been i'm
vented wbi2h floats on the water, taste,
good to ducxa, and blows their heads Oft
when they cs1ew it. 1t is suggested that
they should eschew it.
80" Free kirk elder preparatory to
presenting a..tract): my friend do you
know the Chief end Of man ?" Piper
(innocentlyy "Na, I didns mind the
chune; can ye 10 whustle it ?'
"A clergy ymsn recently prayed for the
zone who, aathough hidden from sight,
yet contributes SO much to the musical
part of our Worship" ending, 0, Lord,
I mean the bey who blows the organ"
The Blask hills are called black be-
cause they age covered with pine trees
in contrast TO the bare plains around
them, and corer an area about equal to
the state of Massachusetts at an eleva-
tien of from 5000 to 1000 feet.
-" Well, Ptebe (colored), do you at
tend church ?'' Lors, yes, missus,
couldn't live, if Use didn't go to meet
in" "Do you lave good times there3"
"I guess we does. We have 'tracted
meetin' goin': on, an last night our min
lister 'vited pussons to de altar, when
three came fow'rd, an we thought that
wus fust-rate. .considerin' de hard times"
"A teacher of primary class in Sum-
day.school was recently considerably set
back when sac asked her little flock one
of the questisns from the Lesson Leaf
How would you feel if you could new
er 20 to churcn 2" A small boy piped
out, "Bully.sS "Why, Jimmy, what
do you mean by such an answer p
gasped the teacher. "That's what my
uncle said wien l asked him to give me
the answer" said the boy, " and I guess
he's right, don't your"
A young gaady was sitting with gal
liant captain 81 8 charmipgly decorated
recess. On her knee was diminutive
niece, placed there "peur les convenan-
ces." In the adjoining room, with the
dor open wers the rest of the company.
Says the little niece, in Jealous and
very audible soice, " Auntie, kiss, me,
tco." You c6n imagine what had just
happened. "2 You should say twice,
Ethel dear; two is not grammar" was
the immediate rejoinder. Clever girl
that.