The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1879-01-30
sTAUNToN. VIRGINIA. JANUARY 3d. 1879
travels. and then the streams Joined each

gravelS, and then the streams joined eacn
other at the -bottom OF the hill, and made
brook that flowed silent, except that you
could kinder see the music, specially when |
the bushes on the banks moved as the music
went along down the valley. could smell
the flowers in the meadow. But the sun !
didn't shine, nor the birds sing: it was
fogey day, but not cold. The most curious
thing, though, was the little white angel
boy, like you see in pictures, that run ahead
Of the music brook and led it on and on,
away out in the world where no man ever
was-I never was, certain. could see that
boy Just as plain as I see you. Then the
came, without any sunset, anu
shone on the graveyards. where some 1e"
ghosts lifted their hands and went over the
wall, and between the black sharp-top trees
splendid marble houses rose up, with fine
ladies in the 1it-up windows, and men that
loved 'em, but could never get nigh 'em,
and played on guitars under the trees, ana
made me that miserable could a-crled, be-
cause wanted to love somebody, don't
know Who better than the men with guitars
did. Then the sun went down, it got dark,
the wind moaned and wept like lost child
for its dead mother, and I could got up
then and thar, and preached better sermon
than any ever listened to. There wasn't
a thing left in the world to live for, not
a blame thing; and yet didn't want the
music to stop one bit. 1t was happier TO De
miserable than to be happy without being
miserable. l couldn't understand it.
hung my head and pulled out my banker
chief, and bowed my nose to keep from
cryin'. My eyes is weak anyway l didn't
want anybody to be gain at me snlv-
lin, and its nobody's business what l do
with my nose. It's mine. But several
glared at me, mad as Tucker.
Then, all OF a sudden, old Ruben changed
his tune. He ripped and he rar'd. he tipped
and tar'd, he pranced and he charged, like
the grand entry at circus. 'Peared to me
that all the gas in the house was turned on
at once, things got so bright, and hllt up
my head, ready to look any man in the face,
and not afraid of nothin'. 1t was circus,
and brass band, and big ball: all goin'
on at the same time. He lit into them keys
like thousand of brick he give 'em no
rest, day nor night; he set every Twin jint
in me a-goin'; and not bein' able to stand
it no longer, l jumpt sprang onto my seat
and jest hollered
"Go 1t, mig Rube
ssEvery blamed man, woman and child In
| the house riz on me and shouted, put him
out put him out =
ss.Put your great-grandmother's grizzly
| greenish cat into the middle Of next month"
says. Tech me if you dar? paid my
money and you jest come a-nigh me-
''Wth that some p'licemen stepped up,
| and had to simmer down. But would
aft any fool that laid hands on me, for
| was bound to hear Ruby out or die.
s'He had changed his tune agin. He hopt-
! light ladies and tiptoed fine from eend to
eend Of the key board. He played soft, and
low, and solemn. heard the church bells
over the hills. The candles in heaven was
lit. One by one saw the stars rise. The
great organ OF eternity began to play
from the worlds end to the worlds end,
and all the angels went to prayers. Then
the music changed to water, full OF feeling
that couldn't be thought much less told
about, and began to drop, drip, drop, drip,
drop-clear and sweet, like tears OF JOY fall
| lin into lake OF glory. 1t was sweeter
| than that. It, was sweet as sweetheart
sweetnin' sweetness with white sugar MKT
with powdered silver and seed diamonds.
1t was too sweet. I tell you the audience
cheered. Ruben he kinder bowed, like he
wanted to- say, Much obleeged, but I'd
rather you wouldn't Interrupt me-
s.He stopt mint or two to fetch breath.
Then he got mad. He ran his fingers thro'
his har, he showed up his sleeves, he opened
his coat tails little further, he drug up his
stool, he leaned over and, sir, he just went
for that old palmer. He slapt her face, he
boxed her Jaws, he pulled her nose, he
pinched her ears, and scratched her cheeks
till she fairly yelled. He knocked her down
and he stomped her shameful. She bel
lowed like bull, she bleated like calf, she
howled like hound, she squeeled like 8
pig, she shrieked like a rat, and then he
wouldn't let her up. He run quarter
stretch down the low grounds OF base. til
he got clean into the bowels OF the earth
and you heard thunder gallopin' after thun'
der through hollows and caves of perdition
and then he fox chased his right hand will
his left, till he got away out of the treble
into the clouds, whar the notes was fine
than the pints of cambria needles, and yol
couldn't hear nothin' but the shadders o
'em. And then he wouldn't let the oil
pianner go. He for'ard-two'd, he eros
over first gentleman, he crost over first lady
he balanced to pards, he chassade right an(
left, back to your places, he all hands 'roun'
ladies to the right, prominade all, in AM
out, here and thar, back and forth, up an
down, perpetual motion, double and twisted
and tied and turned and tackled and tangle'
[ into forty seven thousand double bow-knots
r By jings! it was mixtery. And then h
wouldn't let the old Iianner go. He fecn
up his right wing. he fetched up his LEI
wing, he fetched up his reserves. He fire
by file, he fired by platoons, by company
q by regiments and brigades. He opened hi
$ cannon, siege guns down thar, Napoleon
I here, twelve Founders yonder, big guns, Iii
4 tie guns, middle-size guns, round sho
l shells, shrapnels, grape, canister, mortar
e mines and magazines, every Twin batter
q and be NIB a-goin' at the same time. 1T
d house trembled, the lights danced, the wal
e shuk, the floor come up. the ceilin' con
d down, the sky split, the ground ract; hea
d ems and earth, creation, sweetpotatoe
It Moses. ninepences, glory, ten-penny nail
It my Mary Ann, hallelujah. sweet Caesar
d a simmon tree, Jeroosal'm, Trump Tom
e son in a tumble-cart, roode-oodle-oodl
II oodle. oodle -ruddle- uddle-uddle = raddl
r. addle-addle-rid dle-iddle-reetle-eet
d eetle-p-r-r-r-lang p-r-r-r. lang! per lam
If p-r-r-r-r-lang! BANG
re With that bang! he lifted hisself bodi
10 into the ar, and he come with his knees, h
Iy ten fingers, his ten toes, his elbows and
ir | roso etr;Lin0 ovorv sjncla solitary kew