Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-12-25
WIT AND HCNOR,
A game law-FOllow suit.

x
= up Of the tramp kingdom.
" A 'silver-tongued" orator ought to
. able to make ringing speech.
q Everything is on the advance, and ma
himself, will eventually 60 up.
}. A young man may SOW his wild oa
: but he can never sow his corns.
i In order to look spruce it is not nece
= sary that you remain ever green.
When a sick man feels we'll he sits II
e When well man feels sick he sits dow
Tramps have generally no religious b
lief, but all lean toward the church
roam.
|, A gentleman in conversation said TIL
MS dogs were Al. Shouldn't they ha,
been rated k9:
A new brand OF cigars is called "Tt
Lottery Ticket" because only one in
thousand draws.
Nothing is SO fatal to the romance of
kiss as to have our girl sneeze at the vcr
climax Of osculation.
1t cost Peoria, ILL.,, youth se66.s6 2
per ann''m for six years to court girl An
then not marry her.
Kisses are the right kind OF smacks f
sail down the stream of lif. with. although
taking bus is not bad.
"But l will not linger upon this point.
as the teacher said when he sat down O,
the point of a carpet tack.
No one objects to seeing Indian summer
here, but in Colorado they say they woul,
rather see the Indian some'-her' else.
A hardware clerk who wa little greer
at the business sent a cor'c of lifting
jacks around to customt no had or
dered pair of razors.
''Digby, will you take some of this but.
ter:' ''Thank you, ma'am, 1 belong t.
the Temperance society-can't take anv.
thing strong," replied Digby.
Wife-"But, my dear, shall catch cold.
coming down SO late to let you in." Hus-
band-''Oh. no, my love; Ill rap you up
well before yon come down.
"Marth." said a new-made granger q
his wife, 'we shall have lots of pumpkins
next year. planted about forty, and
had to dig awful big holes to put 'em in.
though"
There is nothing like settling down.
said retired merchant, confidentially, to
his neighbor. ''When gave up business.
settled down, and found had quite a
comfortable fortune. If had settled up I
shouldn't have cent
At shoemakers' ball in PHILADELPHIA a
reporter says that ''teet of every size from
fine taper in white kid to pudding-shap-
Ell pedals in full skin, welted the wax on
the Moor in harmony with the music. The,
waxed warm. and pegged away until lat,
the next morning. 1t was whole-soled
affair throughout
A railroad clerk in a southern depot
who had been annoyed beyond endurance
oy inquiries as ito whether that was thu
light time," placed the following placard
lnder the clock: "This is a clock-it il
Is Cincinnati time-it is right
1t is set every day at 10 o'clock-now
[eep your Id mouth Shut
In response to question as to his busi-
less, witness replied: 81 am retailer OF
vet goods" "Wet goodsv exclaimed
he Judge. "What are they?'' "Liquors.
our Honol," said the witness. "Oh, YES.
see. Wet goods; you mix 'em with wa
er," responded his Honor.
Florence, the actor, tells this story OF
he elder Booth: 'He was playing Ham
It in Virgini' lie night, and had no skull.
little darkey volunteered to get one.
Vhen Booth was leaving the theatre he
1T some one tugging at his coat-tail. He
'oked around and saw the little brunette.
What will you have, sonny p Please
IN, l want daddy's skull, sah.' 'Daddy's
kullT Yes, sab. Dat used to be de ole
lan's headpiece afore de mewel kicked
i'm, and mammy'll lick me ter rags if !
zee it,"
The other day tenant entered the Office
Iipperary land agent, and, throwing
roll Of notes on the table, exclaimed
There's livery penny have in the world.
g a half years rent, and ye may take it
lave it-if ye take it, III go to the work
,ase; If ye ye lave it, I'll 90 to Ameriky {
It," The agent opened the roll of note,
I'd counted the money. "Why, my good
an, there is more than half years renr
re; there is over four years. rent in tn.
'ndle." 1.-THE divil there is,'' cried tn. y
nant, putting his hand in his pocket /
'egorra, | gev you the wrong bundle OF =
ties. alter all!''
AT the Learned street horse market, yes
rday morning, the boy led out bundl. n
flesh and bones, and the auctionee,
Dunted his box and began: '.Hark. ri
hat was that? Did somebody say $3.50. :,
was it the wind! Very well-give me RI
I'D. This Is horse. I'll warrant it to :,
Detroiters are known the world over h
modest men, but don't let that feeling G,
event you from making one of the best ii
rgains ever offered in this market. Who d
lsw "Fitteen centsr' called a voice, ii
fifteen cents! p screamed the auctioneer. r.
he wheeled around. "Where are the se
lice? Who dares make that offer g.
nat base caitiff has wormed his way re
o this crowd to insult me and injure the q
lings of this poor animal:'' ''Twenty r.
|ts, J" cried another. .sAh! that proves a.
{ he'd not misjudged this crowd when u
I'D 1t was composed of gentlemen, and + IN
horse Is yours. Make your change IN
. with the clerk, and take your prize on
~ before he falls dead and obstructs W
sidewalk. ."-Dstrot Free Rrscs. ce
A..
'hae shall % Dene with Ger tol
Do0gAtess.
each them selfreliance. Teach them Sd
make bread. Teach them to make Ii
T. Teach them not to wear talse hair. tb,
ca them not to powdw and paint. co,
eh them how to wash and iron clothes, lly