The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-10-21
Uc Wanted Zig Words.

81 want to see the man who writes th
editorials for this paper" said an individu
al VINO looked like cross between colln
try store clerk and job preacher. 6.
mean your regular big gun, your slcdg,
hammer heavy weight, 80 to speak I'll,
one who writes those thick, solid leaders
liat nobody can understand. Them kint
with four syllabcs in 'cn, you know"
"Wcll, sir" said the cditor-in- chief, )ay
ing down Ills pen and shutting ur n biz die
tionary, :'what can do for you2"
"Why," replied the stranger as he tool;
out twenty and laid it on the desk, 81
want you to give me the worth of thut ir
big wnrds--regular jaw breakers; lust the
| toughest old tooth-ooscners you can gct III,
Tor the money"
You don't want them for some other
paper {" said the editor, suspiciously.
'Oh, no, not at all. Let me cxplan
You see, l belong to one of the debating
societies up in MarysvIlc OF course. we
haven't got much city style up there. but
we manage to make good deal of noise
sometimes"
shouldn't WONDER" said the editor.
we have some mighty lively debates,
can tell 5or. ''Wcll, the other day they
got up sort of chin tournament between
The TWO societies. The question was sRc-
solved, That bcdbugs do not bite China
men. Magnificent subject, now, wasn't
it2"
'llas considerable bearing on the future
OF the State, | admit" snid the mouldcr of
puhic opinion, scrcwing up the shears.
wv ell: you see, we were Just walking
right away from the other fellows, who had
inc affirmative, when a new member of
their crowd--a fellow just up from the city
got up and said he was satisfied the bed
bug dittn't bite the Chinaman because if it
dld the result would bc--lct's sec Pvc got
II down here on piece of paper. ooh,
yes ycs!---instantancOus pyroligncous asphyxi-
ati0n."
'What did he mcan2"
u don't know-.-nobody know. That's
Just what's the matter. 1t knocked all our
fellows perfectly cold-just paralyzcd the
entire crowd. We hadn't another word to
say, and the opposition society carried tho
day and went home grinning like water
melons with our slice out"
"Ihat was annoying"
"fou bet it was. Just think of the
mcanncss OF that cuss to spring a co,Dlc of
words like that right on Marysvillc audi
cncc Why ii was terrible. OF course VIC
ana the best we could to get even We'll,
the next Saturday we had another strong
'bject; Resolved, That compelling hens
TO drink hot water will cause them to law
hard-boilcd eggs. So braced up and said
'hat L once had game rooster that died of
curvlllncar cantogas pkotobia. "
"Inat ought 10 have cxtinguished
"Well, il did for Il moment, you better
hn Nl,.,i,,
VIC gllls ior a. miunGm, hut wbep. tqnE, feD.
some sort of professor once, he... .,.
same fellow got up and said that, while he
largely conceded with the gentleman who
had just sui down, probably the most serious
intelligence was tho tendency OF the species
toward hysteral"rnyxia pologolomcn-
caughcmin,"
"Grcat Scott q"
"You may well say 80. Of course that
just knocked us square of our pins-wiltcd
us right down-Nnd tho audience decided
for the opposition side without taking a
vote. ! believe that If Guffcrson hadn't
gonc home that night escorted by Bill
Stokcs-that's our police force, you know
some of our members would have assas-
sinatcd him." rl..
81 should think assassinatons would be
very multitudinols down your way"
"Nlultitudinous-thats no slouch of
word. Just Let me take it down.. Yes, IL
was a regular Waterloo defeat for our club.
So the next day they subscribed twenty
dollars and the expenses of a committee of
one to come right down to Frisco and get
hold Of a lot of words calculated to make
coal rattle in the cellar when they arc left
Off, and TO cause that Gnlferson to wish
he'd never been born. Now, come, what
can you do for mc2 Dcrn the expense"
And rs the managing editor has taken a
day off and luggcd home the office "Vcrbal
Roots" VIC confidently advise our subscrib-
crs at Marysvillc to take to the foot hills be-
fore the commissioner returns. Property
will he very cheap In that section shortly,
If our editor knows himself a.