The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1879-03-08
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

milk. tht luSl lulnS ~ hlo 'iN''
Enitanh ON Il puustcr who hung hlmSclf: " i'
Is gone He has pcrpetrated his last choke
lie wished his manuscript returned,
But failed in time Ia ask II,
And felt indignant when he learned
II had climbed the golden basket
The latest rendering of the provcrb Is: "Peo
pie who live in glass houses, and who want Ia
throw their arms around the girl should pnl
down the blinds
The walking mania inspires the paragraph
Iend to sing
When we take our walk around,
How many girls we see
ADDING sawdust miles 50 gay
In hours cOnsccutivclv.
Also TO remark,
An Ohio man recently started ont to walk one
hundred hours without sleeping, but after put
ting in ten hours he kicked himself for Il d. +.
and went to bed
AZ shall box your ears, SIR said an indignant
Seneca man to the editor Of the R'cow. ~ defy
YOU TO do It, sir" was the reply. at will take
three hundred feet Of lumber to make the box"
Fact
Talmagc says the Almighty thought enough OF
the Chinese physiognomy to make upwards OF
four hundred millions of them and only one
Kearncy
Wisconsin is iubant in the prospect of Il
speedy adjournment of the legislature, Tie
members are dying at the rate Of three Il month
and must soon leave the house without aquorum.
DR.. Forte says, ice water is healthier to drink
in January than in August Thus health and
economy ever 20 hand in hand.
The old maxim, abe chastc and youll be hap
py," is contradicted by Black Hills man who
was recently chased ten miles by party of red
skins.
When usefulness i, considered, the man who
smokes cigars dwindlcs into insiGnGcancc by the
side Of the individual who smokes hams.
While at certain town in Iowa, the papers
report, Camilla urso took her violin into the
county poor house and delighted the inmates,
We found out at Ottawa, however, that she does
1T always play for nothing 10 poor houses.
The leader and yiolinist Of - church choir att
Madison Ind, got into fight the other day, and
she latter, onc-lcggcd man, was getting thcI
better Of hi, antagonist when a noleggcd man
interfcred and stamped out the disturbance
John r Raymond lately cssaycd the serious
,.,, ..,t, s,,n,. ,I,,, C,1;,or,io ,,,o, |
i'N' -" w., pay '' N'' "'
ire, AMI ihe audience, having previously seen
him as Cot. Soi,~, thought everything he did
was intended to be funny, Asaconsequcnce the
most pathetic scenes were received with uproari-
GUS laughter
Tbc mule is a disappointing animal. one fell
down shaft in Maryland eighty-iive feet
deem Eyrrvuur said THAT uulrs dcad.M but
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laid I,,.,, and d;.5
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,alr
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mind ro,nor7s - Married mem are ant to FORGET
that il it had not been Tor their mothers.in-law
they would not have their wives. - foph"% ar
s'it-
H.. e.,,
IL any Co|I'c' uhccIhI lIilc,
''hS inc '1lIi 81 lou, u'iio,'
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Ind br% tha loan Of balf.a.dolr
Tell him It's Lent
And .ntcu all who come +, borrow
some treasured article tomorrow
tel EN- us Lent:
''' '''"N 1'""N'''""'
one al the recipe, now gong the rounds ol
S ~ 1"o M, ,,o''t' U"' ,no , ~,
inside If nm old pockrt hook ,nlicker and more
'hoIo"ShS 'H"h any "'h'' 'h'hS on Ic'or"'-H''
Won con'ttipdtvo NIoudovst oncthcr cou,tyouy
,.., Me-. ,ro,,1,, 80 p,,,r.,,,, ,n,.
\ 10" ""1 "-' mo '''''""l' VI i"'''S"'' P''
-entcd her husband with trpcts, all boys.
T,,, Nov, y,rl. S,,. =. ,.,,,,,.,I.d ,.iu, m,,,
expressions OF surprise aud profound regret, TO ,
comics. that the Almanac for 1879 of g. Washing
500, 1,l;Id. ,t u ,,,.;,..i. 81 ,,i,,,,r , !
oi ~ "' NV VA MANU- "','""'S Po'
gives February - days th'' year, ana places ASH
,
Bun and honest Dick Oglcsby, now that he /,
rid of the awful senatorial t1ya talks out uatur
,IIy o,,a.,...