Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1879-07-05
The Old Family Journal.
VARIETY.


A'rtsA.i.. AS f-seN N-.I
hotel Din may well De chilled inlcb ;cdocss
Spanish womca gs;a.,as with one man,iiia
potleT comes.
In favor Of iatcruu Representatives
lbs.
Getting tear ugias-,cap;uriag traiu
alive.
a Friend 10 accl-a Quaker IN wap. of
money.
song Of tae lry-soa1s clerk-swinging 10
ae,aiae.
Corn is king Yes corn is aching mos. Of
;he time.
4 man Of 20 aocoua,-a book-kecpcr ont
ol a situation.
No. an author, and yet q Fighter Of books
the expert accountant.
The early dog drinks ali the milk from tie
pail on The front stcop.
Stick 20 it, bub as the glue maker o.
served 20 BIS apprentice.
Never kick a man when be is down. unless
you are sure De can't get ZIP.
To what key would a lover write proposal
Of marriage BE nine, ali
a western woman has lost two husbands by
6ghtuitg. She ought % marry a conductor.
The shah of Persia has uiuety wives NJ
wonder that De les awake aud cheWs Tobacco
iu bed.
The young man who has any prU!ence
about BIN viii write bis love letters il cipher
sul forge, ihe key.
Il love men" said Queen Catherine q
Sweden "not because they are men bat became
they are Tot women.
Ole style of hats Tor ladies' is called ile
ulz1' That is because il is So cheerful
fr She husband wll pays the bills.
The boys are shocked at the report tbat
Edison has invented "a lishtuiag-rod for
schools
Let a small boy catch bis kite on d tele-
graph wire. and be viii exhibit more ingenuity
ia getting il down than il would take to invent
5rst-class flying machine.
Washington is prepared to siaS $50 GOO 10
q new ouc cent daily. 10 one Of ihe stock
holders were asked % Contribute SO o. az
orphan sy,um he'I De Indignant
" l. yoar master Up 90 asked 40 early visitor
20 uobleman's valet Yes, sir, answered
the valet with great innocence. the butler
and carried him up about 3o'c,ock-"
a holiday is a brea,hless and awkward halt
for five minutes. leaving your business 20 get
So far ahead OF you that you cant catch CP with
70 Until it is tune for the next one.
ASyrlcuse man died after swallowing a
pint Of whiskey Had be been Jersey man
be would simply have asked The barkeePer If
De took BIN or homeopathic physician.
4 New Jersey wife did not attempt to COM
nit suicide until she had measured The depth
% The water aal found 10 0aly twenty-five
inches.
Don't worry abou. ny going away, NY
darling. Absence you know makes the heart
grow fondcr-" "Of somebody else, added
tie darling.
The Kentucky mailens have opened %
blacksmiihing shop. and its an Interesting
sight % see a mule blush When The girls acc.-
te0;aily tickle lin while putting on bis new
shoes.
A cynical writer says "Take a company
of boys chasing butterflies put loug-tai'ei
coats on the boys. aud turn the butterflies int'
dollars and YOU have beautiful panorama %
of the world
An advertisement COW -.irg lie roualS Of
tte press announces: " An article that will
make ho bald aud grey-heaiei rejoice. This
must have r-lefcuc- toa new troupe q Eos-
hsh blondes
a Pennsylvania man died. suddenly while
Waiting ,hc other cveaiag. 7, Is supposed
that bis mortal coil few OF by centrifugal
force Of The wuiraog dance, aud De was unable
g. recover &C..