The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1879-11-11
"You Can Never Get Ahead of Chi
Cago."
How O. Chicago Man Prevented an En-
gagement Being Broken.

We have it ON the authority of the Chicago
Tribune that you never get ahead of Chicago,
and the statement is thus substantiated: A
young man of this city had long paid attention
to one of the fairest daughters of Cleveland,
now visiting here, and had been engaged to
her, when suddenly, for some reason or other,
she concluded to marry some one else The
unsuspicious young man went to call on her
at her aunt's house ON Calumet avenue last
week and as she drew back her ruby lips when
he prepared to greet her with loving kiss, he
at once thought there was something up, and
glancing at her again he noticed that she wore
none eff his gifts, which he coniectured were in
an ominous looking parcel on the sofa. This
conjecture was subsequently proved to be cor
rect.
"Mr. So-and-so," she said-she had been
wont to address him as augustus" and "dar-
ling'-"Mr. So-and-so, l have consulted my
heart seriously and discovered what | have Of
ten suspected-that we are not fitted to maze
each other happy. 1t is better that we should
part--our engagement is at an end.
Her words sank into him like blue pills,
and he felt deadly tugging at his heart
strings, but he instantly composed himself and
settled upon plan of action. Bounding Joy
the room shouting: "Hurrah! You're the
bulliest girl in the universe. | feel as though
the whole Palmer House had been lifted from
my manly BOSOM"
The beautiful girl gazed at him for a mo-
ment as if she thought he had hidden long
farewell to his gray brain-matter, and said,
'.What does this mean?'
"Mean'' cried the young man walking on
his hands up and down the sumptuous draw
ine-room; sit means I'm free. I've been try
30 oCl- won For two
weeks past to cancel our engagement-but
couldnt-it would have been going back on
my word, and besides, knew that husbands
at this period Of commercial depression were
hard to get"
cat, s.your presents are all in this package.
Take them and return me mine, This must be
brought to an end.'
"Ill send you all of 'em / can find but l
guess our cook carried off your Tennyson with
the marked passages in it'll lent 1T to her.
and some of your locks of hair and pressed
rosebuds and things 1 burned when was
cleaning up my room the other day, and as for
your ring, don't think Cora will give it to
me-
"And pray, who may this creature Cora be?
Is she the cook at your boarding house?
80, bless you, no-shes the girl I'm in love
with, and that I'm going to propose to this very
evening, as soon as you give me that package
of presents and let me go. l hope you didn' t
forget to put inthe diamond earrings gave
you I'll give them to her and be $500 ahead.
The beautiful Cleveland girls cheeks
elowed SO that you could have lighted match
at them if YOU weren't afraid of having your
fingers burned by the glare in her eyes.
'Tell me about this Cora Of yours. Is she
good looking?"
Good looking'' said the young man, ex-
citedly; shold on till show you her picture"
and he searched eagerly in his pocket. mo, |
must have left it my other coat. Well,
she's beauty. I used to think you were pret-
ty fair looking, but you. Hair SO long that
she steps on it when it is let down and she tries
to walk eyes that make you feel as If you
were getting back ten dollar bill you had
never expected to see again; waist very
much like yours, only much smaller, and as for
her feet-why you couldn't put more than 40
per cent of your toes into one of her boots.
We'll, good night, Miss What's s-your-name, |
| told her I'd be round tonight II could LII
trouble you for that package"
"Augustus So-and-so," she hissed in a low,
concentrated tone putting the package of pres.
| ents away under her chair, eff you go out OF
this house before o'clock tomorrow morning
| I'll scream. And l want you to understand
that our engagement is to hold, and If you
| don't marry me by the first day OF November,
which will be as soon as can get my trousseau
ready, I'll sue you for breach of promise, lay
| ing the damages at S500,000; and I've got let
| tiers from you that'n make the jury find for
the plaintiff without leaving the box. And il
ever you name that wretched creatures name
to me again the longest day you live, III shoot
you and scratch her eyes out-so, there! l
| don't care for you one bit, but I'm going to
marry you out of spite"
| She hurled herself into his arms like whrl-
wind and sobbed upon his shoulder he
smoothed her hair and called her large and
varied assortment of pet names, and observing
his image in the glass over the mantelpiece,
| winked at itrapturously
| They are to be married on Christmas night.
| You can never get ahead of Chicago.