Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-04-25
MJTUM PARVO.

GoIDsBoRo CN. c. lady sprained
her arm by knitting
Tp1,rR1E COUNTY (Ky.) Jail has not
had an occupant for six months.
TIE lawyer who charges nominal
feels phenomenal Chicago Commercial
Advertiser.
We have plenty of remedies for hard
times, now give US one for hard cider.
-Wheeling Leader.
ONE of the brightest things we have
noticed going round lately is highly
polished circular SAW. 7. Ne0Cs.
IT has been proved that after kindling
his fire q miser stuck q cork in the noz-
zle of the bellows tosave the little wind
that was left in it.
A MAN In Petersburg, Va, dreamed
a few nights ago that he was to witness
a shooting afray, and the very next
day two respectable citizens began pop
ping away at each other within a few
wards of him.
The Shah of Persia has written
new book, and every newspaper critic
IN that land viii say it is the most able
and interesting work ever issued from
the press. They would rather tell
lie than have their heads chopped of
-NoTriStol0n Herald.
PEOPLE make too much fuss alto
gether over these athletic exhibitions.
In his greatest match 0'Leary didn't
walk as far by seven miles as weak
woman out on North Hill did while she
was trying to match the shade of
ribbon.-BUrlingtOD Ra1Ob-EVe.
CHINAMEN wear five buttons only on
their coats, that they may keep in
sight something to remind them of the
five principal moral virtues which
Confucius recommended These are:
Jeu, humanity; q, justice; ty, order;
tche, prudence; and sin, recttude.
A DoNALDsoNVnLE, La, paper says;
There is novelty here in the way of
q Courthouse. 1t is q very small fat
boat covered in. Being discovered
floating down the river it was pulled
ashore, and is now occupied on court
days by His Homer the colored Justice
of the Peace to settle disputes.
TIE sleeping hours of plant were
changed recently by French chemist,
by exposing it to q bright light at
night and placing it in a dark room
! during the daytime. At first the
leaves opened and closed irregularly,
hut at length submitted to the change,
unfolding at night and opening in the
morning.
THERE is one thing, at least, in which
the despised red man excels. After
the medicine man has killed five of his
patients the Piute doctor is himself sent
TO the happy hunting ground. If such
practice were to obtain with us, how
/ tenderly would the physician care for
his patients, especially where it had
been his misfortune to lose the pre-
scribed fourl-BostOg Transcript.
GIDEON Cook. Baptist preacher,
| well known a quarter of century ago,
was man very eccentric in his speech,
even to his last earthly moments. A
few hours previous to his death his
brother, also preacher, came to his
bedside and inquired: "Do you think
you are dying, Gideon ?" And the
reply, sharp and quick, came: Sc Don't
know can't tell-neVer died yet P''
DR.. CHARLES N. Walden, of Jack
son, Miss, is providing twenty-five
young men of his acquaintance with
the means to complete their education,
taking their obligations to refund the
money when they have earned it. The
doctor was himself helped to an educa-
ton in this way when young. and gave
his benefactor his pledge of honor
which he is redeeming he would
assist others, In like manner, If ever he
/ oh 20 Ia oil -seEc
! dustriOus men-merchants mechanics
and farmers-to go into business, on
the sole condition that they promise to
repay him and in turn grant like faYcrs
to others when it is in their power
N 2. Post.
A MASSACHUSETTS farmer who inVa-
riably carries the weed in his waistcoat
pocket went to Springfield to sell a
load of apples. When he found a pur-
chaser he took the money and rolling
it up into little wad stuffed it into his
pocket. Not long afterward he emp
tied his mouth and thrusting his hand
into his pocket for a fresh supply of
| tobacco bit off fair-sized section, and
ground at it q while with unwonted
zeal and relish. When he discovered
that he was chewing greenbacks, and
that what remained of the wad was
barely worth eighty cents on the dollar,
he smiled sweetly and muTmured, "I
vum," after the manner of all sturdy
yeomen of the noble old Common
wealth.
The Gar wished to shoot bear. A
bear was accordingly found, ring of
peasants surrounded it, and word of
Its whereabouts was sent to the I'm
perial sportsman. Unfortunately, while
those preparations were being made,
the creature contrived to slip through
the ring and escape. What was to be
doneP That the Emperor of all the
Russias should come and find no game
would never do. A happy idea seized
one of the foresters. Regardless of
cost, tame bear was procured in the
nick of time, turned loose within the
ring, and now all was ready. The
circle closed in Bruin was discovered
at the foot of tree the attendants
fell back, the Emperor advanced to
fire; but now came the climax. Just as
the trigger was about to be drawn,
Bruin rose slowly on his hind feet and
began to perform the National dance!
The exhibition saved his life, but it did
the reverse of securing for those who
introduced him to the presence that
royal favor which their ingenuity de-
served Foreign Paper.