The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1879-03-27
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A MITE OF TRUBBLIEs.
BY JOSIAH ALIENS WIFE.

there wuz ov them-I don't no-Josiah
thought there wuz upwards ov SOL my
self made kahn estimate ov between 3
and 4. But tell they went in strong,
what there wuz ovc EN-. Whist under
heavens they found to talk about so long,
and in such unearthly voices, IL a mys-
terry me. u couldn't sleep no moro
then es if u wuz in Pandemonium,I and
about IL guess il wuz, / herd Thomas
Jefferson holler out ov his chamber win
der:
"Uhev preached long enuff brothers
on that text.Ill put in seyenthly for
u" and then herd brick fall. 1--WE
protracted ure meetin here plenty long
enuff. u may adjurn now to somebody
eises winder and exhort them spell"
Then ] herd another brick fall "Now
wonder if u'll kun round on this cir
cult agin rite away" His room is rite
over ourn, and raised up in end ov the
bed-and hollered out to him to stop
his noise" But Josiah sed-"Do let him
be, do let him kill the old creeters, l am
wore out"
Sez /, aJosiah don't mind his KILN
the cats-butI wont have him talken
about their holdin protracted meetin,
and ureechin. I wont have il" sez i.
-alNall sez he Do lay down, tho most l.
care fer is to get rid oy the. cats"
Sez !. "IL Do have wicked streaks, Jo-
siah, aud the way u let that boy go on il
awful-sez I, where do u think will 60
to Josiah iAllen?" -le :.
Sez he, 81 shall 60 into another bed if
cant stop tslkin, hey been kept awoke
till midnite by them creeters, and now
want to finish the mite"
Josiah is real even tempered man
but ,nothin makes him so kinder fretiul
az to be kept awoke by cats, and it Is
awful-awfnly mysterious 2. For sum-
times you listen, u say wildly to urself
how kan animal so small Civ utter
anse TO noise so large, large enuff fer q
elifant. Then sumtimes agin will git
encouraged thinkin that last yawl has
really finished em--fer u think they are
arrest, and better off than they kan be
here in this world utterin such deathly
and terrific shrieks-and no are hap
pier. So will be real encouraged, and
begin to get sleepy-when they'll break
out agip all ov a sudden seemin to say
up in small fine voice-"we wont 60
home till mornin," drawin out tho
"mornin" in the most threatnin and In
sultin manner, and then q great hoarse
gram voice will take it up-"We Wont
Go Home Till Mcrnin.n And then they
will spit fercely, and shrek out che ap-
paulin words both togather. 1t il dis
kouragin and I couldn't deny it, SO I lay
down, and we both went to sleep. ., =
I hadn't more then got into . nap
when Josiah walked me up groanin.
And sez he, sThem darned cats are at, it
agin."
Wall sez 1, gu needn't syearso they.
be-" listened a minute and seE lit
amt cats."<
"Sez he('It IL"
Sez ], Josiah Allen i no.better-it
aint cats"
"Wall What is it" sez he, eff it haint."
I sot up on end ov the bed, and push'd
back my mite cap from my left ear and
listened and saz I, "It is akordeun."
elbow kum akordeun under our win
der" sez he. SEE /, TT is Augustus Pee
dick seranadin Tirzah and he haz got
rnder the rong winder.' He leaped
out oy bed and started for the door,.
Sez / "Josiah Allen KUN back here
this minute-sez I do realize ure kon-
dishun, sez / IL amt dressed"
He seezed his hat from the brro and
put it on his he'd and went on. Sez ],
s'Josiah Allen If u 60 to the door in that
kondishun i'll prostitute u. What do
meen actin so to mite =? sez / q wuz young
once ureself." z
sI wuzznt = konfounded fool, if wuz
young"-sez he. 90,
Sez "kum back to bed Josiah Allen!
do want to get the Peedicks'es and
Dobbs'es mad mt'u. / should think
wud be ashamed swearin and actin as u
hey to mite, and sez / will get ure deth
cold standin there without ure kloze on.
Kun back to bed this minute Josiah
Allen"
1t amt often I set up, but when I do
Josiah knowsI will be minded, so finally
he took off his hat and kum back to bed.
And there We had to lay and listen.
Not l word could Tirzah hear, fer her
room is clear TO the other end ovs the
house-and such time as I had to keep
Josiah in the bed. The first he played.
wuz what they called an involuntary, and
I konfess it did sound like cat, before
they get to spittin and tearin out fur u
no they'll 90 on kinder melancholy. He
went on in that wa fer a length ov time
which I cant,set down with any kind oy
akuracy, Josiah thinks it wuz about 2
hours and ], myself don't believe it
wuz more than I ov an hour. Finally
he broke out singin tune the korls oy
which WIZ
~ oh think ov me-Oh think ov me.
siNo danger ov our not thinker on u"
sez Josiah-"no danger on it." 1t wuz
long peece and he played and sung it in
a slow and affecten manner. He then
played and sung the follering
Kun oh kum with me, Miss Allen
The moon is beeming
Oh Tirzah kun with me
The stars are gleeming
All around is bright
With beauty teeming
Moonlight hours, in my opinion
L the time for love.
My skiff is by the shore
She'H light, she's free
To ply the fsathered oar Miss Allen,
Would be joy TO me
And as we glide along,
My song shall be
(ifyoul excuse the liberty Iirzah)
IloYe but thee.
Tra Ia la Miss Tirzah
Ira Ia Ia Miss Allen
Ira Ia Ia TIA la Ia
My dear young maid.
He then broke out into another piece
the chorus of which wuz rs.
Curb oh curb thy bosoms pain
Ill KUN again-nl KUN again
"No wont" sez Josiah "u wontnever
get away, I aciH get up Samanthee."
Sez l ir low but awful accents, 10
siah Allen if Ii make another move I'll
part with u" sez "it does beet all how