Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-30
Miscellaneous Items.

A countryman, on a ferry-boat the 9TH
er night, put a cigar into his mouth, and
gentleman who was sitting next to him
landed him lighted weed. The country
man took it and CONTEMPORARY threw it
on the floor, whereupon the gentleman
screamed:
"What did you do that for, s1r?''
'''Cause I don't smoke butts was the
reply.
s'But I gave it to you to take light
FROM" protested the gentleman.
"Well," said the Hoosier, ~ amt no
Greek; I chaw my cigars"
And he chawed and that ended the
conversation.
A painter of celebrity in Paris. when
his first wife-he has now married anoth-
er-was sick unto death, was informed
by her of her great fear of being buried
alive, and thereupon promised to make
an incision IN her neck when he thought
her dead. He, however, failed to recol-
lect it. Some months after he was dining
with friend and paying court to the
lady he wished to make successor to the
deceased one. Out of brown study he
suddenly exclaimed, "By Jove I forgot
to cut my wife's throat" It needed long
explanations before the other took him.
Little Billy has been taken to see mis-
old uncle, who is so deaf that he cannot
hear a single word without recourse to
his ear trumpet. Billy watches the move
ments of this instrument for some time
with great interest, and then exclaims:
mamma, what does uncle try all the time
to play the horn with his ear for, when
he can't make it go2'
Ladyto servant who has given no.
tice three days after her ARRIVAL -"But,
if you didn't mean to stay, why did you
take the placer servant-"Well, m,
when see you at the registry Office, you
looked so tagged and tired l took your
situation out Of charity Ike
ssThose suspenders, madam, are long
enough for the shortest boy or short
enough for the longest man; they will
just fit your fine looking youngster."
"Perhaps SO, but I don't want to sew
buttons on his bootlegs. want them to
hold his pants on. Them suspenders is
long enough for the Colossus of Rhodes"
"Just SO, madam, I sold old Coloss a
pair out of the same box yesterday" The
matron admired his familiarity with his
torical characters, but waited till cool
er day before purchasing.
care these good fish. boy?' said an
individual to boy at a fish stand
eyes, slr,'' quickly replied the boy,
running up to the customer, with de-
termination to make a sale at any price.
elbow do you know?' questioned the
old man, sharply, looking the little fellow
straight IN the eye, determined to get
the truth from him.
"Cause they were caught on Sunday,'
exclaimed the youth. And the shocked
customer made four laps to tie mile
down the street.
This comes to US as a fresh anecdote of
Father Taylor, the famous sailor-pre, cher
of Boston. At one Of his prayer-meetings
an opulent merchant came IN to honor
the meeting. He spoke few words ex-
tolling the kindness of the Boston people
in aiding Mr.. Taylor to build his chapel
AS the great man had finished, Fathe,
Taylor quietly asked, els there any other
old sinner from up town who would like
TO say word before we 60 on with the
meeting2" No other old sinner respond
ed
The following pleasant thing in the
way Of definition occurred a few days
since in one of the public schools of &
city in Massachusetts,. A member O!
the committee, Captain -, was visiting
| the school, having read from Webster'E
address at Plymouth, the captain asked
the class, "Who was Webster?'
i One boy said "a statesman" anothe
''an orator.
''But what is a statesman" asked tn
captain.
"a man who goes around maxim.
speeches. answered boy.
"That is not quite right replied tn
, captain; II go around sometimes maxim!
speeches, but I am not statesman
, A bright little fellow spoke up: "
know. 1t is man who goes around max
ing good speeches.