The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1879-02-27
STANDARD PARAGRAPHS.

especially All Sin.
Did you ever look back and reflect upo
what mean boy you used to be?
The Fourth of July orator will have to writ
new speech, this year.
Stanley wants to go to Africa again. b
thinks he Congo where he pleases.
"Dis patch is one OBJ my crownin' virtues,
said the darkey with the darned hat.
Dennis Kearney has gone to making speeche
again. The dog hath returned to his vomit.
Fourteen years ago, the Confederate Congress
sat in Richmond. Now it sits in Washington
president Tilden" will probably reconstruc
his Cabinet, leaving Marble and Pelton out.
Solomon was a very wise man, SO he ae
when the Potter Committee wanted him.
Make the most of to-day. On the great thor
oughfare of Life no man can obtain stop-ove
ticket.
If every man who gets into rage were pho
tozraphed, there would soon be peace in tn {
world.
Senator Window should now get up scheme
to induce the Chinese to emigrate from Cali
fornia.
New Orleans paper says the South is lazy
Some papers are mighty slow in giving the
news.
The Congressman from this District will not
eat pork, because there was once pigtail at
tached to it. 3. A5
Those Congressman who voted for the Chi
nese Restriction Bill, are hearing great buz-
zing in the air.
1t has been decided that the stingest man is
the man who attempts to borrow his neigh
bor's toothbrush.
The name of the Indian Agent at Red Cloud
Agency, is McGillicuddy. Spotted Tail Says it
is the ugliest name on the plains.
1t is not those who read most who are the
best informed. There's little Information in
dime novel library.
Massachusetts produces the longest-winde ed
orators of any State in the Union. favorite
dish in, Massachusetts, is beans.
Mr. Chandler didn't want a noisy reception
in Washington. Zachariah wants the noT71cr
saved for the big Grant. .boom" in 80.
George Washington is dead! Well you
needn't laugh; it was only last week that he
died. He was hung, in Louisville.
1t has at least been demonstrated that
a juror car be driven crazy. Such a thing hap
pened in New York, a few days ago.
Did you ever see two men looking at horse,
that one of them didn't pray open the horses
mouth, and look in, to see what age he was?
George Washington said in Louisville the
other day that he was converted. Then they
placed rope around his neck, and translated
him.
Sol JEFF Davis is going to write an autobi-
ography, is he? By the way, where is Bob
Toombs? We haven't heard of his making any
remarks about the Niger lately.
oir Uot tad md fol1 TO
trance, during which she saw Heaven. Manton
Marble has written to know how the place
looks.
ST can convince you,'' said young college
student at an evening party, "that animals
can exist without brains!' And when those
present looked at him, they believed he could.
President Hayes always wears an extra
heavy-overcoat when Senator Conkling is in
Washington 2 He's afraid the N. Y. Senator
will "freeze him with look"
Jinkens says it may be true that "Justice will
) NOT sleep forever but his wife would, if he
didn't rout her out at six O'Clock, lin the morn
ing, to build fire.
Cannot our old friend Furay, of the Cnl-.nl-
bus Herald, put stop to the filtration that is
being carried on between that O'Myers boy, of
Columbus and Sissy Nichols, of Sprin gfeld?
but when Bang Gong heard of the passage of
the Anti-Chinese BILL he could not help ex-
claiming: "Melican man dam fool!"
The natural pride man feels on being
elected to the United States Senate is some
what dampened by the certainty of receiving
a letter from Private Dalzell asking his views
on the next Presidential campaign.
Truly, some of the great nations of the earth
are being punished for their sins. Engl and has
wars, Russia has the plague and America has
the Potter Investigation and the Geneva
Award.
! Col. Pelton has been sued for eleven hundred
'dollars-borrowed money. Pretty well, for
man who could raise eighty thousand dollars
to buy Electoral votes.
The Democratic House paid Finley, Demo-
crat, of Florida sixteen thousand dollars for
occupying, for ten days, the seat which be-
longs to -Bisbee, Republican. Retrenchment
and Refornf;~Souk knowl
Yes, if Republicans succeed in $780, they must
carry Ohio IN 1879. 1t won't make any differ
ence if they lose New York. and Pennsylvania
both, so they carry Ohio. At least this is what
the great American statesmen are now tell
ing US.
lone Summer Eve, with pensive thought
got to fooling around an apple tree, where she
had no business, and it wasn't very long until
she found out she had made a mistake, Wo-
men are just as inquistive now.
Mr.. J. L. Hance, another private secretary of
Mr.. Tildcn, testified before the Potter Commit
tee that he didn't know anything. And the
Committee doubtless believed him. Mr. T.
does not enhance his chances for yindication by
such witnesses.
The Cincinnati Gazette consoles itself with
the thought that "the Democratic party has
only one foot in power" True, true, Mr. Ga
zette, but are you right that it cannot steal
with it's toes
Government Printer Defrees has written
\ Congressman Finley, of Ohio, a letter, which
~1nakes up in vigor what it lacks in elegance
Mr.. Finley should remember the experience of
another great Ohio statesman who meddled
with the Government printing office
There should be one more change made in
the game law in this State. The taking of
quail in any manner save by sprinkIing salt
npon them, should be prohibited A clause
might also be inserted making it unlawful for
anv man within this State to own shotgun.
John D. Brown, County Surveyor, re-
moved his family to Zaleski last week.
AS we stated short time ago, Mr.. Brown
ia Superintendent of the Zaleski Schools.
The people of Zaleski will find Mr.. Brown
a good, worthy citizen, as well as an able
teacher.