Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-04-09
Handy to Have in the House.

There are some men who are cOnsid-
cred desirable as husbands, and others
who are quoted IS hardly worth the
houje-roOm they occupy or the proven
der they consume. Or the latter kind
was the little man concerning whom his
wife dreamed that she went to country
fair where husbands were exposed for
sale. On his begging her to tell what
she found the price to be of such as
himself, she replied, after some hesita-
ton, that she saw a similar article of
husbands put up in punches of dozen
and offered at shilling bunch. Such
husband is indeed a proftless possess
sion. A shrewd woman in New York
found herself the wife of this kind of a
piece of goods. He was idle and shift
less and of so little financial experience
that even in those rare instances in
which he succeeded in earning any
money he was unable to keep it long
enough to bring it home. Instead of
supporting his wife, he was burden on
her and an expense to her. So, to avoid
the otherwise inevitable journey to the
poor-house, she was compelled to work
and to support the whole impecunious
family.
But there is lining of silver to even
the most leaden cloud, and this strug-
Cling woman happily discovered that
her man had one talent which she
might turn to profitable account. He
could carve at dinner parties, and this
was the only thing he could do. In do
ing this he was browning success. He
had no more skill at making contracts
than at bringing money home. So the
thrifty housewife concluded not to turn
him adrifc to starye, as she had feared
would be necessary, but to keep him at
home and rent him out as opportunity
offered. From time to time she sought
out all the people she could lind who,
being about to give entertainments,
might need the services of a skilled
manipulation of the carving knife.
Explaining to these people the peculiar
condition of her domestic affairs, she
would hire her husband out for fixed
sum, STIMULATING that the money should
be paid to herself, and not to him. An
interesting and a novel style of lawsuit
now afises from a mistake in the pay
ment. The husband mad earned seven
dollars for carving at the dinner party
of a nabob. The nabob thoughtlessly
paid him the money. and he as thought
lessly spent it before he reached home.
Thereupon the wife undertook to col
lect from the nabob the stipulated sum,
basing her claim on the fact that as the
poor man was sort of nobody pay
ment to him was no payment at all.
The nabob resisted the endeavor to col
lect a second seven-dollar fee from him,
alleging that he had paid the person
who did the work. and that if that i'm
provident individual had nothing to
show for it, the misfortune should just
ly fall on the poor fellow himself. The
wife successfully resisted this argument
by showing that she was the contracting
party. and that she had hired her nus
band out just as a livery stable keeper
would hire out horse, in which latter
case it would be manifestly improper
and insufficient to claim that payment
consisted in handing the money to the
animal. The woman retires triumph
antly from court, happy in the peace
full possession of bit of property from
which, when rented out, she can draw
substantial income.
1t is not lawful in this country to ex-
pose husband for sale, but the fact is