Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1879-03-14

Mafrleu Liz Ac.
nsus--Hs Ceaciades 60 switch
en- On . side Trsek--Exsstie Re
sait-Drswnsd IA . fiosd OF
Loving Esnetios.
Brother Penman. q prominent Latter
Day Saint residing al Sessions. Utah. Is
fifty years old. but . gay old Saint yet.
He got tired Of his good wife with whom
he has dwslt 80 amicsbly for years. and
concluded he ought to stand in with his
religion and get q young wifs-a concu'
bine, as II were. But we must let the
Salt Lake Tribune tell the story, con.
dsnsing II somewhat:
a LovEsicx SAINT.
The birds were mating and why not
her The hogs mate. too, at times. and
there are hogs still left in the Church Of
Jesus Christ Of Latter Days. He sought
the acquaintance Of . young girl work.
ing at the Walker House, but was re-
pulsed. He Was desperately in love.
however. and lowered around the vicin.
ity Of the hotel like one who had Lost
something; but he couldn't muster up
courage to call upon his intended victim.
Sick at heart he returned home and tried
to drown his disappointment in Valley
Tan, but the love that the bore that
chambermaid fioatsd on top Of his
liquor. and he could neither eat, drink
nor sleep. The sight OF the companion
Of his youth. the wife Of his early days,
only sickened him and she looked to
him like the picture on his deviled ham
box In comparison to the sweet Walker
HOUSE angel. He tried TO pillow. but
the burrows we're shallow and crooked;
he tried to pruns his orchard. and he
ruined the trees. Love was the master
Of the hour, and he wrote his love . let
ter.
EMOTIONAL s~UsPnSsr.
He wrote the sweetest kind Of love
taffy to her. arranging . time and place
for meeting. and specially charging her
TO keep the matter q dead secret. How
long IL took the posr fellow to get this
much OF paper may never be known;
how he waited patiently beside the Utah
Central track till the train came along.
and how he looked around him like q
about to commit some crime a. he
dropped that letter into the postal car.
His poor old wife wondered why he
wore Q green necktis next morning. and
she wa surprised to SEQ him black his
boots, . thing he was not guilty OF since
the day OF Brisham's funeral. His
clothes were carefully brushed and
goose grease rubbed well into his hair.
lie fingered longer than usual at the
glass and hummed ''Baby mine" to
himself Is he parted his hair.
ENCOURAGING
The course OF true love does not al.
ways run smooth. and 30 In this case.
He got m answer from the object OF his
rsjuvenated emotion. regretting that she
could not herself nttingly respond to his
heart throbs, BY reason OF being already
engaged. II be would come TO the house
at half.past II o'clock that evening.
however. she would be pleased to make
him acquainted with = young lady friend
OF hers who Was . good Mormon and be-
lisvsd very strongly in polygamy.
uP Jon.
Who can fathom woman's mischief
The girls concluded to put up a job on
the iovesick old elder, and this was their
plan One Of the boys In the hotel
should dress In woman's clothes. and
when Penman called. his " girl was to
be introduced as . good Mormon. and
one who believed in polysamy. After
they had their fun out, they then In
tended TO dump him In the swill tub and
thus cool his passion or drown him In
slops.
INTO u Tolls.
Everything worked we'll a. Penman
followed the boy down Main street 10
the hotel. He said that be didn't like
to 90 through the Office. 30 he was led
around through the back alley into the
kitchen, and there met the girl who had
written the note.
"well," said Bro. Psnman. "I re-
ceived your note. Sister -, and have
come to see the young lady you wrote TO
me about, where is shef"
"Shs IL up stairs. Brother Penman.
She'll be down presently"
els she q good woman, Sister -,
and does she believe in polygamyf"
90. yes, sir; shes all You would
wish"
"Ssy. Sister -. will she 60 out
walking with me tonight, 20 that ! can
arrange matters with herr"
EYES. Brother Psnmsn. I think she
will"
"weli. I hope she will suit me. for I
would like TO marry. l would 90 any
where or do anything to get q young
wife,"
Then the young "lady" appeared
dressed in the latest style. II was with
difficulty that Tommie could keep o
straight face while be wa being intro
duced 10 Psnman Is Sister Thomas.
BArTrzxD.
Perhaps II was the snicker the would
be polygamist heard that made him drop
on the game. and he rstrsated slowly
toward the door; but just then q pan OF
warm water fell over his bare head and
before he could realize the situation. o
bucket Of slops was soused into his face;
turning In the direction from whence
came the last dose, he received . rotten
egg In the left ear. He now turned to
run. but was met at the door by o pan
Of molasses and -four which settled
down over his face and neck, trickling
down his back in dirty pale streaks that
eat . passage Through his endowment
robes and ran down around his toe-nails.
At last he got the slops and mGassss
and ancient eggs and the buckwheat
batter out Of q eye just long enough
to see which way the back alley lay, and
he shot out into Main street the most
despicable looking wretch on the con-
tinent. He hurried along by the Gilt
House and. turning. ran west on Third
South street with this Walker House
love lotion dripping from his clothes.
LIVING HE RELIGION.
II Is the aim OF all good Saints to live
up to their privileges, and perhaps
Brother Psnman may yet succeed In
stayipg out Of thu P~enitentiary lopo