Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-08-28
Whole No., 4O5.
Wit and H1tn1O7'.
The truth is nigh y-mighty scarce.

1Hc tiutil Is HllSu y-IHiShty sC1iCc.
: Why is dogs tail like very old per-
son: a. Because it's in-firm.
When you have feed the waiter at the
snmmer-resort. then he will feed you.
Ministers Who make 81 practice of speak
ing simply to be heard, can be said to
preach sound doctrine.
lyon just gimme bite o'that apple or
I'll quarantine a"in ye.'' is the way Omaha
| bOot-blacks bull-CtoZe each other.
The sun shines on the tiowey-ted -
And on the nohlt ain J brow
fyou have over,ois to shed
Prepare To- ; e,t them row.
| Aurhur wrote about Ten Nights in a
Barroom." but many Il reader OF these
humble lines could tell about ten bar-rooans
in night.
| What is that which is above all human
imperfections, and yet shelters the weakest
and most depraved, as well us the best OF
men? \. A hat.
''Rcmcnber who you are talking to sir"
said an Indignant parent to a tacetious boy;
II am YOU father "Well, who's to
blame Tor that" said the yong imperti-
nence, "'taint me-
The Strawberry season is over, and the
church that hasn't yet cleared off its debt
will have to struggle along until it is again
fashionable to style quart of water and
one oyster stew.
Newley-married husband: '.This is Il
friend OF mine, my dcar-a friend of twenty
years standing" His bride. Good gra-
cious Then pray give him seat, for am
sure he must be tired
A man may be as pure as a virgin snow
flake and as mild as May morning, but
he will get wild just the same when his
ottice-boy dips the mucilage-brush in the
ulstal1d.-N J. Star.
'Whin do yes intend to go back Mike:'
asked ore exile of another, ''IfI live tilf
| doye, and God knows whittier l will or
not, l intind to visit ould Ireland once
more before lave this country.
There is said TO be man in Worcester
who has lived so long upon corn bread
that his voice has grown husky. his hair
has turned to silk like that which grows
On the grain, and his toes are covered with
.orns.
10 estimate mans worth properly he
must be regarded as whole. A man who
ioes not call for much in society generally
nay sit down at Il boarding-house table
md call for more than any other man in
he room.
Did you ever notice, says an exchange,
he poor chap that stands in the front pic
tlre of an almanac, with fish, and scor-
lions, and bulls. and twins, etc, around
i'm? Did you notice that he was naked,
nd had nothing in his stomach Well,
hat poor fellow used to edit cOttntry
ewspaper, and take his pay in ''Ill pay
ny subscription next week.
A story is told ofa soldier who, about
ne hundred and fifty years ago, was froz-
n in Siberia. The last expression he made
Ias, 1T is ex-'' He then froze as stiff as
larble. In the summer of 1850 some
ench physicians found him, after having
in frozen for one hundred and thirty
ears. They gradually thawed him, and
pom animation being restored he eonclud-
his sentence with '.-eeedingly cold"
When the perihelion is in apogee You
ay look out for cool weather. Before
le next Fourth of July arrives move
ent should be made TO have the verihe-
IN moved into apogee. We all..de to
lis matter thus early in order to eft.bls
ose organizations who intend to have
rect parades on that day to appoint
to ascertain the probable cost
I'd the amount of labor required to ac-
mplish this very desirable result.-Noa.-
storm Herald.
1t is all wrong to let ycur church choir
Off singing in the opera of ''Pinafore'
tween Sundays. 4 dreadful thing re-
ntly happened on ths account at Cali
'Hia funeral. Tie pastor. 4 .all. white
ifed gnafr. much rese;iit ~ IN admiral,
SO in his pulpit AMI no sooner finished.
Il sIn"-song tone, the remark. I'VE miss
presence in his usual h;iInts." than the
Or spring to their feet and shouted in
urn, And so dO his sister and his
,sins aad his aunts, '-lEl,oaukee .sen.i-