The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1879-01-29
Items OF Interest.

81.
Items OF Interest.
A singular being-A bachelor.
A poor fire is pokefish thing u
cold weather.
A dentist ought to make good actor.
He draws well. ss5s
A bouquet is good scenter,piece Tor
the dining-table.
Jones wife wanted point lace, but he
denied it point blank.
When you come to the guideboard
that is illegible-that is a "bsd sign. !"
Actions, looks, words, steps, form tina
steps by which We may spell characters.
No true gentleman will ask q lady II
her coral iewelry is made OF scaling
wax. *, -, ss.s,. ss.s
Storms generali- are mystery, but
you can always see the drift OF . SNOW,
storm. -...
A prima donna is naturally timid
creature, for her art is always in her
throat. .
George W. Matchett, of the Arka,sos
Traveller, has been sticking type fifty
eight years. s:ss
Why does the new moon remind one
OF q giddy girl? Because she Is too
young to show much reflection.
A well-fed hog reused up in his sty 81 g
And dropped q regretful tear -
| "The Beautiful Snow has ccme,' he said,
"And Staying will soon be here.
"How doyou make Maltese Cross 2,'
was the question before the institute.
And one of the schoolmarms answered !:
"Tread on her tail. )" ~
Gen. Sherman predicts that in twenty
years the United States will have 9
population of $4,000, 600, or about
double what it is now. Is5sss
The khedive and his family are
obliged to get along with only 81, SOC,
600 a year. The hard times are nots
confined to this country.
| A young lady, gazing on her portrait
just finished BY rising young aytiss
remarked, II look like canyaet}
duck" He felt like eating heEs
"White chuddah shawls af6
with dark crimson silk for mourn
Wrappers. And the price Of them is
calculated to make man chuddah. -
Histories make men wise poets,
witty; the mathematics, subtle natural
philosophy, deep moral philosophy,
grave logic and rhetoric, able TO con.s
tend.
A monument to the memory of Plus
*, is to be erected in the city OF Pue-
bla, Mexico, which will be one Of the
most remarkable works OF art in that
country.
No man is the wiser because he thinks
he is not as ignorant as his neighbor,
for the latter may have learned sone-
thing that is not in the text books, but
ought to be.
"Sir," said lady to would. be wag,
"your Jokes always put me in mind ef
a sphere" "Of a sphere, madam.
Why 90. pray ~ "Eecause they never
have any point" 81
The difference between gossip and
truth is that no one will ever stop to.
question your veracity when ycN
indulging in the first, but he wants you
on oath when You are speaking solemn
facts.
Carpets came originally from the
East, their manufacture dating far back
into antiquity. The Babylonians made
and used them, and they were common
in Turkey and Russia centuries before
they were used in England.
To the perfection of true friendship it
is necessary that there should be one
particular Individual selected from the
rest of mankind, who may be considered
as another self, to whom We can unbosom
our most serious thoughts; before whom
we are not ashamed to lay open our
weaknesses and foibles; CT, in the ex.
pressive phrase, to think alone. e.
Drs. Holiday and Holcomb, Of New
Orleans, were examined before the con-
gressional committee on yellow fever,
and both agreed that the fever originates
in that city every year from germ
which was originally imported and has
become naturalized, and that the cpl
demic was undoubtedly incurred by
neglect in removing garbage and offal
from the streets of the city.
"What |" said young lady to sis'
ter companion, "you ere not going to Z
marry that tall, lean, slender, consump-
tiva.t tricken fellow, are your" eyes.
al. is," volunteered the young lady's
little brother, looking up from hls Z
broken cart wheel "she's gong TO
marry him and use him for a carpt
stretcher." The boy and the cart wteel
passed ont through the same door. &
Blessings on him who invented eleep
the mouth that covers oil human
thoughts, the food t-.at appeases hun
ger, the drink that quenches thirst, the
fire that worms cold, the cold that
moderates heat, and, lastly, the general
coin that purchases all things, the
balance and weight that equals the shep'
herd with the king, and the simple with
the wise. ,a,-.- -
The mother OF two sons, twins, met,
contemporary relates, one OF the
brothers in a field one morning.
(which OF you two boys am I speaking
to ?" asked the mother; sis it you, ,sor
your brother ?" "Why d. you ask ?"
inquired the lad, prudently. "Because; q
if it is your brother, I will box MS
ears" eft is not my brother, it Is
l." "Then your brother is wearing
your coat, for yours had a hole in it."
"No, mother, I am wearing my own
coat" "Good heavens!" cried tho
mother. looI at him intently, "you :
are your bro, !, after all =
A strange fatality attended the early
discoveries of America. Columbus died
broken-hearted; Roldin and Bobadilla
were drowned Ovanda Was harshly su.
perseded; Las Casas sought refuge and
consolation in q cowl; Ojeda died in OK. 2
treme poverty; Euciso was deposed by
his own followers; Nicuessa perished
miserably by the cruelty of bis party;
vasco Nunez de Balboa was disgrace
fully beheaded; Narvaez was Imprisoned
in tropical dungeon, and aiterward
pied OF hardship; Cortez was dishen-
ored; Alvarado was assassinated; Almar-
90 was garroted, PiEarro was murdered
and his four brothers killed.