Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1879-05-23
ALL SORTS.


Printed signs of Heaven is Our
Home" may be hung in every room in
the house, yet q man will speak up
promptly and emphatically when he
can't find the bootjack.
1t is suggested that, after all, it
might be better to disband the army
and let Congressman go out against the
Indians and talk them to death. N Y.
Commercial Advertiser.
The laws of Illinois are very strict.
In Chicago, says the Inter Ocean, we
punish a man who kills his wife with
almost as many years at hard labor as
if he had stolen a horse.
In the pathetic little poem pub
lished the other day, for the line, go
sister, mourn not for your dadp' please
read, 40 sister, mourn not for your
deadr'-C Cincinnati Enquirer.
"A philosophical exchange remarks
that the active ferocity with which the
menagerie animals are represented on
the circus bills is only equaled by their
torpid condition when viewed in their
cages
-"Mr. Jones, you must come into
my room soon and see my lovely baby"
said n fond mother to fellow lodger.
'Thank you, l heard him all last
night" was the equivocal reply.-Ar-
dre10S' BGzGr.
The four-years-old child is an ad-
mirable nucleus for a circus party. AS
many as fifteen persons have been
known to take an afternoon off just to
"see that the elephant didn't step on
the little fellow"
1t is now said by scientific au-
thority that sleep commences in the
feet and extends to the head. Possibly
the custom of sitting with the feet to
the pulpit may have something to do
with it.-1urner''S Falls Reporter.
If some kind of an amendment
could be added to the marriage service
which would make it mandatory upon
the part of the bride to arise in the
morning and kindle the fire, there
would be fewer old bachelors thump-
ing about the country. Waterloo CO,tr-
Ter.
The newest thing in high art, girls,
is to paint your brothers. clay pipe u
delicate sky-blue with cluster of lilies
of-the-valley on the bowl. If you
haven't got q brothers. clay pipe, some
other girls brothers clay pipe will do
as well, or perhaps better.-Nes0 Ha0en
Register.
Making the best of it is good rule
for everybody. "What is the matter?"
asked a lawyer of his coachman. 1.-The
horses are running away, sir" "Can
you not pull them upP" 81 am afraid
not" "Then," said the lawyer, after
judicial delay, run into something
cheap"
An American gulps down glass
of lager as if he believed his stomach
was on fire and prize depended on
speedy extinguishment. A German
lifts the sparkling amber to his lips
and sips as though afraid to impose a
too great burden on SO good friend
as his stomach. Turner'S Falls Re-
porter.
"A Russian name is rather to be
chosen than great riches. A General
| in the Cars army can count his money
by the canal boat full, and has a short
name of forty or fifty letters, is nowhere
alongside of a Russian poverty stricken
tramp, who, in his youth, seeded down
couple of Greek alphabets for his pos
terity. Yonkers Gazette.
The principal thing we have to re-
ioice over on the Fourth of July is the
encouraging fact that the day doesn't
come oftener than once a year. We
always cherish the memory of our
forefathers with a deeper affection
when we think of this. We enter
tanned an entirely different opinion
when we were bOy.-NorrtStol0n
Herald.
Speaking of the end of the world,
Rev. Mr.. Kimball, of Hartford, argues
that there are at least $4,000, 900 years
before us. The Norristown Herald
SAYS Cut this out and pin it in your
hat, and if it should turn out that there
are only twenty-four millions and nine
hundred and tifty-iive thousand years
| before us, drop Mr.. Kimball letter
charging him with being failure as
prophet.
He was undoubtedly as drunk as
! lord, and the ground appeared to roll
beneath him like unto the oceans rest
! less waves. All at once he was seen to
reel, endeavor to catch himself, and
then sink heavily into u heap on the
pavement, and, when the bystanders
ran to his assistance, he said: 4" Atsh
sheverest shock fan earthquake ever
experienced, N I've bin on ish coast
since 80. Mutsch damage done, y
reckonp Francisco Paper.
-"Hullo Smith! Much damageP"
Smith-"O! nothing much. Only
Dashed my hat, lost a stirrup and one
spur, tore off the heel of my boot, lost
my watch and sherry flask, split my
coat, bust my breeches, broke both
knees, my 'oss cast shoe, smashed
one rein of my bride, got black eye
and sprained ankle, knocked out one
of my front teeth, and scored my face
all over-thats all, except the bill l
shall have for the gate" Brown
''Ah, well! there's always something!
Haven't got any bank shares, ! hope"
London Fun.
Professor Huxley says that there
is an inherent snobbishness in the dog
mind, and we feel disposed to agree
with the Professor. Apart from the
ciYility which IA gentleman's dog shows
to person whom he regards as his
masters equal, and his disposition TO
| bark at poor and humble dependents,
the lofty look of supercilious contempt
which bloated dog bondholder occa-
sionally puts on in presence Of COM
mon person or an inferior style Of
poodle, is unsurpassed by man in his
snobbiest moods. But the shepherds
dog of the mountain is "A true gentle
man, and that, principally, because he
has a kind heart M Y. Commercial
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