Daily globe., 1879-03-16

~'o NSSSAS OAPebuoAS0 dLO AuLu0TOuS
enough to panoply the mothers of all the
married women in the world, I cannot i'm
agine. But SO it is; and among all the scare
crows that false civilization has set up in
the fields of matrimony, not one is SO alarm
ing to many young men as the efigy of the
novelistic old crone labeled, 'sMother-in-
laws
Let us look for moment at the neces-
sity for mothers-in-law and, before 1 close,
at the very great blessings they confer.
They are certainly a link in the unfolding
of the generations. Without that mother
in-law, MIR. Lord Man, how would you have
secured that wife of yours? You will no
doubt give the conundrum up. Here, then,
IS the hrst great reason for closing YOUR
mouth to any abuse of that woman who gave
your wife birth. But is this all? Was YOUR
wife, after few weeks or months of merely
natural nourishment, turned loose, to grow
up like weed or calf? Has she beauty,
grace, accomplishments? Can she bandage
your head, bathe it with camphor, manipu-
late mustard plaster, and pour tea? Can
she mend socks, and sew on buttons, tie
your cravat and brush your coat collar? Why,
just think of that wife of yours as she glides
from cellar to attic, as she goes about direct
ing, ruling, persuading, warming, arranging,
pleading often with you, bad man, and
withall, maintaining for you in herself the
only link that attaches you to your neigh
bors and to the church, and gives you the
only interest worth having, while like an
angel she whispers to you of heaven. Does
your wife do all this? Her mother is your
mother-in-law. How can you ridicule that
mother of your wife But in your home
there came mystic, anxious hour, that
brought to you for the first time emotions so
permeated with fear and pride, suspense and
hope that you paced the halls in strange half
gloomy, half exultant reveries, feeling as if
you were about to sink into a abyss or
emerge suddenly into higher and grander
existence. You we're not with your wife.
The scanctity of the ordeal for her excludes
you. There are hurrying steps, moving
lights, hasty searchings through the closets.
The physician comes, but he asks you no
questions and no permission to pass
up stairs. The servants look at
you askance but say nothing You
begin to feel dreadfully burdened with
load you know not what of. You begin to
feel like an outcast or discarded actor
the play is made up and you are left out,
but before you get really rebellious or COM
NIT suicide some one calls down stairs. It
is your mother-in-law. She calls to YOU,
"George, it is boy" What was the reac-
ton in your whole being then? How have
you at once risen to another world? How
do you seem at once to have put your foot
upon all obstacles and embarrassments of
life? A man heretofore in your own con-
sciousness, now accredited to the world as
such! All this at the call of your mother-in-
law. God bless her, and so pray you. For
this one first message she should be entitled
to life immunity from all civilicism, no mat
ter what the poor dear lady's failings may be
in some directions.
But again, if neither you nor your wife
should have mother-in-law. If YOU should
both have your parents executed at the time
OF your marriage, or sent off to
live with Sitting Bull, where would
your sweet little children get grandmothers?
Perhaps my lord man can explain this. I
will not think you would like to abolish
grandmothers Where is the way out of this
dilemma then? What would our children's
homes be without grandmothers? There's
grandma's cap, and grandma's spectacles,
and grandma's wig, and it makes fun for the
children. Who would deprive the children
OF grandma's stories or grandma's songs?
And who would not rather throw Webster's
unabridged out of doors than part with
grandma's vocabulary of exclamations and
crltlclsms-her laments over the degeneracy
OF the present generation her exaltations
OF the times when she was girl, when
"people did not do as they do nowadays"
Yes, yes, grandma is an immense source of
happiness to the children. She entertains
them, instructs them, makes fun for them,
and is their refuge from more than
half the ills of childhood. I pity
the child that has no grand
mother. Shall we then abolish mothers
ln-law and do without grandmothers? No,
no, let. us keep our mothers-in-law, even
though one here and there may be "hard
medicine" they will soon become grand
mothers in the ordinary course of human
events, then even an old caterpillar of
may emerge into sort of
grandmother butterfly hood that will please
The children awhile and then fit away
heavenward.
But my lord man may say that there are
some mothers-in-law that are really hard to
get along with and keep things hot for their
SONS law.
Well, SO be it. In many instances the
sons-in law deserve it and need lust such
training. Substract these cases from the
whole number and there will be few left to
tumble down stairs or throw out the window
just enough exceptions to make tho rule
good that mothers -in-law are blessing.
Ninety y-nine out of every hundred sons-in-
law are perfectly willing that their mothers
in-law may nurse and care for the children
when sick, and do the drudgery of,the house
hold, but mere suggestion from her on any
subject whatever is regarded as an cfic,ous
lntermedling with other peoples business,
and they rave and rant as if
some unpardonable offense had been
committed by the good old lady.
As for me, have often wished that Adam
had been mother-in-law. Had there been
} mother -in-law in his case ssto make it
lively" for him, he would not have been
ounging lazily around in the shade while
hat old serpent was flirting with Eve. He
would have been up and on the alert, and
while having an seye out'' and wondering
What his mother-in-law would be cup to-
1ext, he would, no doubt, have discovered
'pade. We would to-day be happy people,
olissfully ignorant of apples and fashion
plates. The conclusion of the whole matter
hen is, according to my ''woman's opinion
hat instead of prosecuting mothers-in-law, |
We should spend our spare time lamepting
hat the race did not start off with one.
Mrs. j. T. S.
Reverend KLeptOnnaniac.
A peculiar and very sad case of klepto-
mania is reported from Rochester in the
'eYson of a Baptist minister, who has
reached for thirty years. Last January he
ook from show window in china store a
ase valued at about $40. The vase was one
a pair, and last Friday he entered the