The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-05-22

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AekLr-PRA1sE is udd0dbtedl5 gin
cere.
TIE early burr catcheth the small
boys hair.
MEN on the gallows have been
highly spoken of. j..
, Ths breath d Scandals lbesInd the.
0optrol Of cardamonAaaads
!, TIE maY With q, nightmare must
drfaQ3laSHSb . depY lallos61w!
A HOG is q monarch in his pen. for
"Where there's s-will there's swat"
IT Is cheaper to forgive an injury
than to hire lAolawydr.-M. o. Pea
yusae.
THE haigman's rope is-asort Of close
line, 50 far as life is concerned o..
Hef4ak Y sAW DIVE {.
IT IS the opinion of the editor of the
Saltwater Lunpbernsan that "Whom
the gods love EFT speumberp.s
ARE strSwbSfriGsS really 4 IS : sour as
they look to beP This is . question for
millionaires only.-Nes0 Haven Regis
ter. --4~e~,.4,, ep~,~s
LOOK ost Tor damp cellars, for that
way come on rheumatism, colds, fe.
vers, diphtheria and death.-Al6any
Argus.
PUGwAsG is 3ks nalpe ofa Slacd of
some .conbeqdgiceA Il Nova Scotia.
Phebus, what a namer' Boston
Transcript.
AN Atlanta negro, who tried to send
one OF his children through the Post
Office, was arrested for an attempt at
blackmaillng.-Bostor Courier.
ABOUT the guiltiost-looking people
in this world are q man accused Of q
crime of which he is innocent and q
,newly-married couple trying, to pass
for veterans.-M.' r. Commercial Id
vertiser. e
If you are not wealthy enough to
keep q flock Of hens and q rooster,
keep baby, He can " er0w'' early
enough to wskesyou up insabnb0ant
season to see the sun rise. IN. ?. Isde-
pendent. r~.r- '..5aa 't..' ., I!
That was a CHASTITY joke that sim
full t0wnsman played on q stranger
whom he promised to introduce to q
rich planter, and then took him around
and presented him to the leading un-
dertaker.-- Yonkers Gazette. = = ~
Patrick "And, Biddy darlint,
they've been tellin' me there's too
many of US in the wurrld. Now, if
you and me get the praste to make ua
two wan, troth won't there be wan the
lessr'-F a,s,y Folks.
A LITTLE girl at school read thus:
"The widow lived on q limbacy left
her by a relative.", yWhat did you
call that word3'' asked the teacher.
1.-THE word is legacy; not limbacy."
'But," said the little girl, =" my sis
ter says ] must say limb, not leg" IN.
y. IndepesSdenk 80 w
H JOHN SARTIs, of New Orleans, re-
fused to marry young lady to whom
he had been engaged, because she
was subject to erysipelas." In the
breach-of-promise suit to come, John
should offer the Shakespearean defense,
"Was ever woman in this humor
wood? Was ever woman in this hui
NOR WOMB ,-... -,
A GENTLEMAN who has spent some
days in the region Of the coal-oil wells
in Pennsylvania says that in his opin-
ion the Government ought to interfere
at once, and put o. stop to further
pumping and boring for oil. He is
quite certain the oil is drawn through
these wells from the bearing of the
earth's axis, and that the earth will
cease to turn when the fabrication
ceases. 'tt '''' -'t '''~
A PLEDGE is frequently defined as q
thing made under the pressure of cir
cumstances and, to, be broken the, mo-
ment 8 good excuse can be found; but
very few can break it as gracefully as
the Irishman adorned with q blue rib
bon who went into an apothecary shop
and said to the clerk, 81 ye place, sir,
Pm a temperance man, hut if ye have
any soda water of the stringth and
quality resembling whisky I'll throuble
We for a little."--N. =. Herald. "a -
"VELL," said a newcomer in q
Western town, "vat shance I. would
have in starting up NIT saddle-dree
peesnis?' "That business isoyerdone
and competition has almost ruined the
trade" was the answer. IS Veil, Good
make Something's NIT q new pakeryp''
"Think not" said the native. "fhe
towns full of bakeries now" The
man looked puzzled and half mad, and
suddenly came to the conclusion:
"Vell, den, by shininy, I viii run for
office!'-Eastern Erchange. , ...s 4
"PHAIREsr PHLoRA,''s wrote an
aInorous youth who is smitten with the
phonetic craze, "phorever dismiss
your phears, and phly with one whose
phervent phancy is phixed on you
alone. Phriends, phamily, phather-
phorget them and think only of the
phelicity of the phuture! Phew phel-
lows are 90 phastidip Gus as ybdf = erii-
nand, SO pheign not phondnS, q YOU
pheeE it nets hdfeso Sphrdlic, hid
answer phinally, Phlora." "Oh,
Pherdinand, you phoolr' was phair
Phlora's curt reply.
In late German story the hero gives
rhapsodicAl description of 1.-the first
kiss in these ebullient words: cam
I really dear to you, Sophia?' whis-
pered, and pressed my burning lips to
her rosy mouth. She did not say yes;
she did not say no; but she returned
my kiss, and my soul was no longer in
my body, I touched the stars; the earth
, went from under my feet" All of
which is very pretty and very poetic,
but very indefinite. What the practical
American reader wants to know is, if
. that is the ,transcendental Germansway
of saying that he was at that particular
moment lifted by paternal boot-toe?
Courier.Journal.. - Is
= "a Brave Girl.
~
(. IA DESPERATE struggle, which makes
of Miss Carrie Roberts a heroine, took
place at the residence of G. H.
s%nh . "a 81 L: -