, 1879-05-31
n cnEnGed to bo married. and this Ia to celebrate

cnRaEed to DO married. and this Ia to celebrate
her bctrDtfn.
O9rl9!-You must cat with your fingers,
rroprlelor-Dut, Granl Duke. how arc wo to
caryo lhe iowlst
,,ti oaietal-lear 'cm to pieces, Or bite out
ehnnks,.ii'll oil be tn thu family. Where's
r1opr,elor-l youf Imperial E1eo,lency,
nnd II you tlnl any jcaaly wcauou lu It'll want til
oltIal-i tn,rht ,cna you tl,cro II L. wcre
worm nc trouble, fnr hero Is rnzor which. Id
useti to s'ay thc whola lnlpurIul famiy. / will
eoMtlseato tllr raxor.
,,rl!e family dinner takes r1ace, though under
99sa,lS;antages 9 aud tla unl,appy rnqF forgcts all
9l!e trIas Hll! troubles OF ll,e dny AZ lle dos.
sest, Just az e Is Rbot 10 uropGse the health OF
tt'e soun to l,a welded pntr, ha sccclycs nutc
,eouche'! III these tesMs):
te ar tSs ys aSn
FULLY, :: Dttx ExEotIriys = CoxHirTs,:,
=, rf;onr!etor QesrlnF, his ha!r)-rherul Thas'e
ttIat!
lffs Future son-in.law-You wcre wrong, sir;
Tiers 10 good deal u bo sail on buth ai,lcs.
rro!nrtsitorLWfonRt ,1!3 Was II Perhaps you arc
Ills Future sonth. Law havo tho honor to
10 the ch[ef Of Sec. 2l7, md I don't care wl,o
knows 1t. ..'
Ills Daughtor-re., pa. and Tint is why I lo-
llo-hoyo htn. tcasts lersclf tuto hcr Ioycr's
.;L'';,t. r{SnrIetor7Ne5e!lu1 henvou! are you a
His Dauehter-Yea, nnt and so are my sisters,
and my cuusiDs, A.lu ,ny auntB.
u itsg Gsissts-And 81 aru wo-all Of us.
'Pr0pffct0r-l Will dehnHncc y0u to tic Att-
thorlttes-cAl tie pullce.
Ills Future Son-n-Law-If you utter one
word Will lire this trnn Rnd blow up tllr l,0usc,
winch had lniuctl " precaution lest the 10.
lica should make desrent tn Us while We wore
at dinner.
Propr1etor-And here lavc been passlns
ny days and nights kecp1u4 watch tn rly jan-
Omncs-Your jan:or! Ho, ho! Look out Of
the RtttoW anll sec what your 1an!tos ID doing,
Proprictor-AfaY 1 be knuuted and sent 10
Siberia II my ianstor !eu't covering lie whols
trout OF thu llotsc with four-scet revolutionary
posters Naints.}
sNorE. .-"Gront Tndlcbcn" Ia nopu1ar RUSSIAN
exclamation, much Ike our own "Hrest Scott. /"
TIRE WONDERS OF SCIENCE.
l,efrnff FREE prkss
1t Is curious how narrow-m!ndcd some men
ase, alId how littfr they care about subjects cal
culatcd to broaden md benefit tllcir mental fac
ultscs. Such a INN was half nsleop on ba1lrh
at the Union Depot yesterday, whcu VERY tail
stranger With very short lIucn duster on sat
down bDsid8 him aud said:
"llava you calculated tic pressure per squire
incl! which you exert on this bcncl,3't
The sleepy man scowIctl as he looked up, and
then turned away aa II le ltln't want to hear
my moro.
"Do you know,'' continued linen luster,
"whether II Is dead weight or force Of grasita.
tlon which permits you to rest on tllla bcncha"
mo, Sir" Was the emphatic answer.
:" What Is the attractive power OF carthf
Wbnt force is cxertcd by tho law Of grayttatton
Oh fers the saze OF Yours3 Let US aguro 1nu-
ment.n
III don't want to hear you ta1kl" snapped
the other "a ho sat up. ~ am waiting for n
trnInt"
"so'm ~ said linou tustcr, 1t and that optns
a subject for now thought. Do you know the
weight Of air displaced bY train moving at tho
rats 81 thirty m!les an hosfl"
"No, str, nor don't carol I'm IN no mood
"Sunpose,s remarked linen duster as ho
sqtintcd his left orc NJ the sun, tint you aro
walking Mt thu rnte OF six ,niics m hour. do you
wish to know wtlat presstiru the nir excrtB upon
ell md will tlgurc.''
VI won't do 1t; and tell you ngaln don't
want to bo tatked to ~ was thu fierce reply.
"Do you know how long 1t would take a loco
motive to fcue'l the moon, rnnnIllg at thu rata
m''s @ ntG ~, no' sGtt,Y askea @ llnenaMster. ~
dou't eo awny from rnvi '0N
"You, SIT, weigh about 100 pounds, and hare
wc'!:aeypiuped naeaio;' but.ao yuu know now
m',c1, forco Is cxcrted In Knocking down d
human being, mud the FORE Of atmospheric
pressure to 10 overcome before your list reaches
"l'vo stood your sass just long enough, and
r' n, shaute,, tp a up i f'pnna a VIZ ~
i,,'nnod TN sn1 n .not ~, hje hnns "1aa 40 ~
hra nnt tha pnna.,a 10 ~ sc,a,co ,,to~..+,
mrs not Ne "ouoeFs VI selenco interesting