The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-07-24
PASSING SMkES.


and useless, and knowledge without
integrity is dangerous and dreadful.
CHARLEY Ross, says the Paterson
Press, ought to be old enough by. this
time to discover himself; and he Will do
it some of these days, the first thing we
know. ~
A NAN never appreciates the keen en-
ioyment of fishing on the part Of the
| fish, until he gets his hook well into the
bali of his sthumb.-,Syracuse Sunday
Times. S%
LAzINESs grows on people; it begins in
eobwebs and ends in chains. The more
business a man has to do, the more he is
able to accomplish, for he learns to econo-
kmize his time.
IT is little singular, although no less
| true, that one small but well-constructed
| fly will do more toward breaking up
mans afternoon nap than the racket of
full brass band.
DUTCH girls make the hest wives
King William has been married fifty
years, and he is not as bald-headed as some
| Americans who have been welded only
that many months. = No1Tfsto,cn Herald.
The surest. way to make ourselves
4 "a
| thinlcssth them so. If we appear fully SEN
.sible Of their good qualities, they will
not complain of the want of them in us.
DoN'T start in life without an aim.
Point at something and go straight for
it. If you live an animal life you will
never amount to anything and will
waste whatever of talent and energy you
possess.
LAST September Dubuque man and
woman were married by a Justice. The
other morning the woman appeared be-
fore the Squire and askedto see the mar
| riage license. She wanted to find out
her husband 5 name.
As an instance of the value of adyer-
tising, the Rome Sentinel says that a man
in Clayton who lost diary found it in
/ the pocket of discarded vest imme-
Ediately after the advertisement was
! published.
THERE is one especially good feature
about basket picnics says the Detroit
Free Press.The woman you hate always
gets chased BY snakes, and 4fhe man who
friessto boss the excursioff eats too much
and is laid away with case of collie.
j A DUBUQUE woman sues saloon
4 keeper for tweIity-four thousand dollars
damages for the loss of her drunken hus-
baHd.a a@H she gets the money she will
lsimmediately marry agaiifand set the new
man as the same kind of trap.-Bufalo
Erpress.
UNDER the. headline " Amusing" Pub
lie OPINION prints the following from
London Fun: IF London is the wealth.
est.city in the world, which is the poor
est? Impeeuniosity. And yet Mark
Twain SAYS there is no humor in England
-Nec Orleans Picayune.
A gFkr French woman despairingly
says: g I am so fat that I pray for dis
, appointment to make me thin. Nc
sooner does the disappointment come
than the mere Expectation of growing
thinner gives me such joy that | become
fatters than ever
sgWHEN 4 young class orator arose tc
Sfspeak it was remarked that there were
fifty pairs of beautiful eyes riveted upon
], his countenance.n In that supreme mo-
ment he should have had his picture
taken, before the rivets unloosed and the
, eyes dropped.-New Orleans Picayune.
, A LONDON newspaper relates thai
when Frenchman who fell overheard
, from the steamer which took the Colder
Club back from Greenwich, was rescued
! and returned to the deck, the first thing
) he said was that he hoped he had no
: kept the steamer waiting.
| THE American NJ c.. who sent nott
{ to the Clerk of the House of Represent
atives to fix a" pare" for him, is paral
leietl by the British. member of th'
. House of Commons, who made speech
on fiogging: .Hon'able gentlemen oppo
: site saws British soldiers like hogging
: Where is the, proof? Will hon'abi,
t gentlemen name barrackses where the,
r heard this? What | want to know Is
f where those barrackses is"' s f.
]. The case of deaf-m,lte, COW is re
ported by a. Russian veterinary surgeon
Y A COW, twelve years old, of Algav;
G breed, belonging to a Russian nobleman
/; never showed signs of hearing nor bel
lowed Seeing the other cattle below
e she tried to initiate them by stretching
: her neck and head and opening he
!. mouth, but she could not produce an,
sound. The sense of vision of this poo
). COW was found to be unusually well dc
e veloped.
e The Neao York Herald, with it's custo
e mary enterprise, is the first to announc
|, that an Arkansas genius has invented
bottle which has a cork at both ends
W This may be an advantage when two me-
: want to drink from the same bottle a
g the same time, but it seems to us that
" bottle without any corks would find
y larger sale in Arkansas. An Arkansa
:. man becomes dry so often that he lose
re several drinks per day in DRAWN
> corks.-Norristown Herald. '-
e. "WHAT's your fareT' asked old Film
d skin of the cabby, the other day, an
1t was met with the stereotyped repl.
4 "Well, sir, will leave that to you.
d "Thank you, you're very kind, "said ol
$, F., buttoning up his pockets and wall
n ing off. You're the first person who eve
t, left me any thing YET" -
d. EUGENE FIELD, of the st. Louis Time
a Journal, must retain mournful recolle
ton of some visit to Kansas City, for /
saws in a recent issue of that pape
"Now that the railroad war is at /
height, you can go to Kansas City II
TO half dollar, and when you get thel
g. you will be almost willing to pay an,
th] thing to get back again. -tis teas stG
ID THE earnest men are SO few in tt
n world, that their very earnestness b
C comes at once the badge of their n
Dtl1ty dllu do flOu III a OioNN iuoeAhS
IN lively make room for one who seems eag
I. to force his way through it, SO mankir
le everywhere open their ranks to one WI
ne rushes zealously toward some obje
lg lying beyond them. asa s- 's e 'ea'-
OF THE Clipper, of Warrenton, Ga, sa
es that "a prominent gentleman has four
In cheap method for entertaining col
rry pany at big meetings. He recommen
~ as the first round, while the app
70 70 tites are good, green corn, cucul
se bers and ice lemonade. After that,
ne says, it requires only a small amount
or laudanum as chief dessert
OF HEN VIC ,t 1"ii 'I.ac " i.aI ~ I:. W. o'