The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-10-15
PITH AND POINT.
A LOST star-A sailor overheard.
A Affected contempt.

A LOST star-A sailor overheard.
A sHAM-Poo-Affected contempt.
"TAKE back the heart that thou
| gavest," as the gambler said to his pal,
who had passed him under the table the
! wrong card to I'LL the flush.
ONCE they started a girls seminary
in Utah. It fourished well; but, just IN
the height of its prosperity, the princi-
pal eloped with the whole school.
A CORRESPONDENT explains why he
hadn't written before by saying he
"could not get money enough together
to buy postal-card.- d1L Lac
| Reporter.
"PA, what does 'nobby' mean ?"
stylish, my dear" swell, then, pa
your nose must be very stylish, for
grandma says you've got the nobbiest
nose in town"
HER HAIR.
She wrung her hands and tore her hah
With feeling not benign;
And when upbraided by her friends,
Exclaimed, "This b1ir is minel"
Claude de HaUen.
THERE are too many women IN the
world; 10000 more women than men in
Massachusetts," growled the husband.
"That is the survival of the fttest,' my
dear" replied the wife.
AN illiterate farmer, wishing to enter
some animals at an agricultural exhlbI-
tion, wrote as follows to the Secretary
of the society; Enter me, also, for
iackass" And he took the prize
AND now the gay and festive frog
Within the marsh is SEEM
The loafer seeks a sunny spot
Upon the village green;
The trade in patent hver-pills
Becomes steady thing
Ths rhymer, with pensiVe air,
Indites an ode 10 spring.
Toledo Commercial.
AN ale guzzler doesn't stop to con-
slider that every time he drinks he is
adding an ale to his cOffin.-BOStO7l
Post. A result, no doubt, owing to the
tacks on spirits.-NeaU York Conner
ciGI advertiser.
The people Of Cey1on bake and eat
bees. ii we were going to indulge IN
this kind Of pfovender we should want
to know that the baker understood h1s
business, for if a bee should revive
after he had been Swallowed
THE Woma7o'S Journal asks, What
is a sadder sight than to see a young
bride sick at hearth" We have never
seen but one sadder sight. That was
on an excursion to Racine last summer
There was a bride sitting on a coil of
rope Just outside our state-room door.
She r}as sick at the stomach. Sadness
Lordy, there was a pail full of sadness,
and red lemonade, and ice-cream. The
WOmdn'S Journal ought to have been
there in our state-room, and she would
never talk about heart sickness any
more.-MjaCG1Ikee SaIa1.
SPRING.
The growing days, and gracious mellowing air
Proclaim that sweet and balmy spring Is near;
Grim winter hRstens to his Polar lair,
And-tBOyl jRSt see u nly tlnlbTeliq'8 heTe)
Wee blades of green hide mid the faded grass;
The brooklet laughs to find Itself released;
The zephyrs whisper Coyly as they pass
(A-che10! a-chee0! Tie plagkey lCt1ld is edsL)
How pleasant is it in these vernal days
To study nature, as we roam
Through woods and fields, and chant the seasons
praise
(Co,1Jou5,d ,rg ttcEI I Ists ry rubbers honaeO
Sweet springtime. thou art welcome once ag ain,
The pleasures of our brief lives to enhance
(WeH, here's gOl What t0ith The mud and rain
rCe soaked a1y feet and spoiled say 5lelo spring
pdRtS0
Boston Journal.
A VERY old lady on her death-bed, In
a penitential mood, said: II have been
a great sinner more than eighty years,
and didn't know it." An old darkey
woman who had lived with her q long
time exclaimed: "Lorsl I kpowed it
all the time"
AN honest man is wanted for Treas
Irer of Brown county, Wis. Van
Straclin was elected by the Repubi-
cans, although his record was bad, and
ne stole $4,000. Burkart, Democrat,
absconded next with 100000. Then
Republicans and Democrats united to
elect Ellis, whose probity nobody
doubted, and an investigating commit
tee now figures up his theft at $4,000
THE late Prince Henry of the Neither
lands was one of the wealthiest Princes
in Europe. His property has been usual
ly estimated in Holland at $41, 100000,
The greater part of it consists in state
funds; there are also shares in CONNER
ciaI companies, landed estates and castles,
and similar property, some OF it IN the
Netherlands, the remainder in Germany
and the Dutch colonies.
A CoLoRED voter in Mobile had been
employed by merchant to take some
kerosene oil to the Mobile and Ohio
railroad depot for shipment. He in
formed the gentleman who employed
him that he was going to vote the Dem
ocratic ticket-wouldn't think of voting
any other On his return from the de-
pot he was asked for the receipt for the
kerosene oil. Putting his hand into
his pocket he pulled out citizens
ticket. "This isn't the receipt" ex
claimed the merchant. "Bless de Lord,
was the response, "I done gone an voted
de kerosene-oil ticket"