The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-11-22
NUMBER 6.
NiES AND WHiMS.
A SCANDAL monper is person to al

l. DofsS " stanuinS joke ever require u
seat.
ARE men who fit counters in boots
acounterfeitersY
The sawmill runs to the tune of a
| log-a-ryth thin.
SOUND logic-arguing through the
telephone. ~
A PROFESSIONAL beauty, though two
words, is really only one silly belle.
| a THUMB ON the hand is worth two in
u dogs mouth.
lT is a fallacy to suppose that baby
is being shampooed when he is christened
by the minister 1t is a intake.
"GENIus finds its own road and carries
its own lamp" says the Evansville
Journal Been watching us, have your
--Kentacky New Era.
IT was mean trick for the Buckeye
State To hold an election while the Dem
ocrats we're away attending prayer meet
ing. sa t vas
TIE man that bought a "salted "
gold mine in the Black Hills was a hole
sold fellow.
| DEPEND upon it, " there's a time for
all things" The time to leave is when
she asks You how the walking is. 1858
j AN individual who called his first
daughter Kate, when. his wife had an
other girl, christened her Duplicate.
! MANY man who prays not to be led
into temptation would be awfully disap-
pointed II his prayer was granted.
| "BoB INJuREsoUI" is one OF the
frightful results of the Chicago 7ribame''
anew method of spelling ~
! A NEWSPAPER reporter says that one
of the ladies at the late ball. "took
everybody's eye.p What nm eys-dearl
YOUNG Lady --"Have you any dressed
kid glovesg9 NO, miss, we've
nae kid gloves"
THE man who starts for the river to
| drown himself will run for a place of
safety if he sees cross bull coming. 81
The father with nine manageable
daughters must have been engaged in
the belle foundry business. Cincinnati
Commercial. t5,f4.af -.
] "THE evil Of mems wives lives after
them, while the good which they do is
seldom spoken of with safety to step
mother"
A NEWSPAPER reporter who died re-
Gently, left large sum Of money behind
him. In fact he left all the money in
the world,
THE best lip salve is kiss. This rem
edy should be used with the greatest
caution, as it is very apt to bring on an
affection of the heart.
THoz hoo advocating afonetiksistem
ov spelling seem to want to Institute Ego
az u pleez" orthografy. --Detroit Free
Press.
THERE is difference between light
ming rods and enlightening rods. One
takes the mischief out of the clouds, and
the other out of the bad boys.
| "Two souls with but single thought,
| Two hearts which beat us one" sfs
| Old folks abed-the lamp turned out
- -'"''' '' Whitehall Times
A CURIOUS freak of nature can be
seen near Eureka, California 1t is in
the shape Of q tree, seyenty-fiye feet
high, one portion of which is pine and
the other fir.
CARE you going to the ball to-night?'
said bachelor to his married friend.
/ g Oh, yes" was the reply, Pm going to
the bawl; I've got crying baby at
home" Then each went his way.
A LITTLE fellow, on going for the first
time to church where the. pews were
very high, was asked on coming out what
he did in the church, when he replied:
"Iwent into cupboard and took seat
on shelf
"WHAT SO rare as day in Junep
sings the poet. A day in January is
not only rarer but sometimes actually
raw. - Nea0 York NeDs. Well done,
/ Lukensl Couldn't have thought of ;
anything half SO rarefied have tried. III
"MoLLY," said an American Home
| Ruler, if we liver, take it into your
head to poison me, dye moind, be sure
we give it to me in a glass OF the raal
| ould stuff. 1 would like to die nate and,
comfortable-like."
WE had an article written on "The
Influence of Woman" and when it came
down. headed Influenza of Worms"
we got mad and ordered the whole piece
4 out Wheelinq Sunday Leader. That
was terrible. Glad you made note OF
| it. ~
! In the room Of railroad depot In
Iowa is the following placard over the
clock behind the counter: "This is a
| clock-it is running-it is Chicago time
| III 1b TlyDb-lO 10 SOU CfCiy udy az ~
o'clock--now keep your id mouth
shut"
A MAN who was a great stickler for
etiquette, having married widow be-
fore her term of mourning had expired,
soon after made his appearance with
weed on his hat. On being asked as to
his reason for it, he remarked that he
considered it no more than the hand
some thing toward his lamented prede-
cessOr.
SERVANT answering door-bell pulled
by little ragged boy)-" Come, go right
away. We have got nothing for you"
Boy" Haven't asked you for nothing
yet, have IL" Servant (banteringly-
well, what would you have asked forY
Boy" Didn't know but this house was
for sale, and if it was wanted to buv
it."
1T seems that every body has pick at
Chicago. 1t is said now that two Chica-
go men went on weeks visit through
the West. Ono morning they awoke in
hotel, with dazed notion as to what
city they were in. One said in St.
Louis and the other Cincinnati. They
bet 800 as to which was right, and
neither won, for the bell-boy informed
them that the place was Milwaukee.
SOME time back lady and her little
daughter were awaiting the commence