Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1879-12-18
4amaruus department.
A TOUGH WITNESS.


Prosecuting attorney: "Mr, Parks, state,
defendant to follow any profession ?"
"He's been professor ever since I've known
him."
Professor of whatY'
"Of religion"
"You don't understand me, Mr.. Parks.
What does he do ?"
."Generally what he pleases."
"Tell the jury, Mr.. Parks. what the defen-
dant follows"
"Gentlemen of the jury, the defendant fol-
lows the crowd when they 60 in to get drinks -
,"Mr. Parks, this kind of prevarication will
not do here. Now state how the defendant
supports himself"
"I saw him last night support himself against
lamp post"
: "May it please your honor, this witness has
shown disposition to triAe with the court. !"
Judge: "Mr. Parks, state if you know any
thing about it, what the defendants occupation
isl
Occupation, did you say2"
Counsel: eyes, what is his occupation p
eff I aint mistaken, he occupies garret
somewhere in town."
"Thats all, Mr.. Parks"
Cross-examined: "Mr. Parks, I under
stand you to say that the defendant is pro-
fessor of religion. Does his practice cores
pond with his profession ?"
"I never heard of any correspondence or
letters passing between them"
"You said something about his propensity
for drinking. Does he drink hard ?"
"No, I think he drinks as easy as any man
ever saw"
"One more question, Mr.. Parks. You
have known the defendant a long time; what
are his habits-loose or otherwise?"
"The one he's got on now, think is rather
tight under the arms, and too short wasted
for the fashion"
"You can take your seat, Mr.. Parks
A NATURAL WoNDER.-A gentleman look
ing from hotel window, in Tallahassee,
Florida, the other day, saw dim column Of
smoke in the far southwest. I have asked
the cause of it and have been told that it was
the vapor from a boiling spring, which has
never been found, owing to the impenetrable
nature of the swamp in which it is situated.
My informants say it frequently deceived
blockade runners during the war. The run.
ners would suppose it a signal from shore and
run to certain capture. I suggested one
day that perhaps there might be some illicit
whisky distillation going on in that swamp,
The possibility, and even probability, was ad.
mitted. "Then none of you, presume"
asked, "saw that column of smoke before or
during the WARP" None had seen it until the
tax on whisky was levied, for, they said, they
had never had their attention called to it un.
til of late years.
accosted gray.haired negro on the sub.
ject Of the smoky column: "Well, sar." says
he, eff you was down in the neighborhood Of
whar dat smoke is, and you should leave a
jug alongside de road wild quarter tied to
/. de1shandle. you'd be mighty ap' to find dat
illed with whisky next day"
eWhereI would the quarter be, uncle?'
"Dat would be gone, sar."
Sand could I spend quarter that way
every day?'
GAS many as you like. If you tie half a
dollar dey'll glib you half dollars worth
of whisky, and they'll glib you good measure,
sure" .
"Do they do much business in that line p
/ asked.
ri don't know muffin about dat. I only
knows dat you get as much whisky in de jug
as the money tied to the handle will pay for. n
don't want the readers of this to discred.
it the existence in Florida of great springs
natural bridges, or sunken lands, making
room for lakes, for these natural phenome.
na can be seen and verified.
y