davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-11-13

SOUTH Tunnel. Sumner County. Tenn.
Dear ST. was troubled with Headache ana Pain In
my Breast and Side. procured some Of your Indian
Blood Syrup. and it cured me when al the doctors
failed bdALFIN SETTLE
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-11-13
GOLD MATCHES GIVEN Away

$500 600 worth Of solid God and Silver Wat.l IS.
SilyeTM are PiaT os Organs, Sewing Machines, FRENCH
Musical Alarm Clocks and Jeweiry besides an immense
amount Of other valuable goods, just for doing little
favor which every woman, boy girl can easily do
no REQ Hired. al the elegant and costly articles
90 be given away are fully DESCRIBED and lIutlted
by eLlTavines, in book entitled - The Golden
Prize. which sill send gratis, and free Oi postage
70 any the United States AMI Canada. Address
I. GLEASON 4 CO. SO summer Street. Boston Mass.
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-11-13
WORD of CORRECTION.

respectfully, your obedient servant,
GEO. w. EAsTERBROOK.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-05
An Amusing Incident.

Many incidents occur in our western life
that are amusing in the extreme and often
ludicrouS. One Of more than ordinary
tlnnness happened not more than thou
sand miles from here to couple Of our
Grand Jurynen, while on their way here
from remote part OF the county. They
left their homes for the station where they
would take the stage for Aurora. and ar
rive! at the station in the evening. Here
they would have to remain until the arrival
of the stage on tie following morning.
There was but one bel TO be inld-they OF
necessity must sleep together. One of Gu:
jurymen VIA quite corpulef.t; the otnar
was lean. They retired early, and as nearly
all fat men sleep loud. our lean man did
not sleep at all. The fat juror slept sound
ly. and his snoring was SO loud that it
might have been taken for the believing
of a mad bull or any other uneartllly noise
that would keep one from sleeping. Our
lean juror became restless and could not
sleep. He got up. kindied 4 fire and deter
mined to sit up and await the arrival of the
stage. Not long had he enjoyed his qui-
etude. when Il wagon drove up with gen,
tleman anl lady in it, The lady was LET,
there to take the stage in the morning. the
gentleman returned home. The lady wanted
Il bed, but was informed by our lean juror
that his little son was in the only bel about
the place. and that if she desired she could
occiipy the bed with him, to which she
readily assented. She entered the apart
ment, disrobed herself Of all unnecessary
apparel and got into bed. 1t was not long
before our corpulent juror gave a kick and
a grunt The lady patted him on the back
and said in honied. coaxing tone of voice
Lie still, sonny dear. pa said l migi
sleep with you" TO which answer came
Il am no longer boy, but full grown
man a'd Grand Juror. Who in thunder
are you?" \ scream, and something fell
heavily Ga the floor. Water was thrown
on the f:sinting lady, and in short time
was restored. An explana-
ton was made, and profound secrecy
promised. The jurors took their way to
Aurora to attend their duties, and the lady |
to--.-Esmeralda New Herald,
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-05

in sitting posture. with hands raised in
attitude Of bene,iction. This deity wore
a han .some red cloak. trimmed with gold.
He was carefully hoisted up into the glare
OF the gaSiigl.t. and auctioneer and auii-
ence gazed upon him in silent admiration
for fully a minute.
Look at him well, ladies' and gentle
men, said the suctioneer, lowering his
voice to the tone Of reverence. "Observe
all his points before you begi,. to bid.
Now. there's rare treasure tor some
household. There's a god that the most
fastidious purchaser needn't be ashamed
of. In all my experience in this line Of
business It has never been my privilege to
offer finer article. What dye say. gen
tleIIen. Speak up lively. Who's going
to secure the god? How MITCH for the
god:'
After resolute and protracted struggle
between Col. incersoll and the captain Of
the Hudson River steamt oat Drew. the
japanese god in 4 red cloak trimmed with
gold, WIS knocked down to ingersoll for
$4.35.
A small copper idol from Bombay. green
with rust, went to Col. iGgersoli for three
shillings. After examining it in every part
with pleased expression on his face, he
wrapped it up carefully in a newspaper
and put it in his pocket. The little copper
god evidently was a bargain.
4 crackIeware Chinese god of uncoutIi
shade was sold to Col. Ineersoll for So. 1t
was probably worth thrice that sum at
private sale.
A gaad,ly decorated porcelain idol from
kioto went to Col. lngersoll at S3l5. He
also secured a lot Of four smaller divinities
of the same manufacture tor 81.
Among his other purchases were a prim-
tive Mexican idol from Yucatan. u huge
wooden god with six arms frop upper
India. severa! rudcly carved dcities frem
the Aarquesas and Friendly Islands, and
Il variety of African fetiches.
During three days of the sale Col. .nger-
soil bought between forty aud fifty gods.
The smaller specimens te carried away
from the auction room In his pockets.
leaving the bulky and unwieldy diyini;ies
to be delivered by express.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-05
kncCdOfo of Burns.

Andrew Horner and Burns were pittct
against each other. An epigram was the
subject chosen, because 'it is the shortest
Of all poems." In compliment to him, the
company resolved that his owr merits
should supply them. He onmenced-
''In seventeen hundred and 4 re,ty-nins--'
And he paused. He then said, ''Ye see,
waa born in 1879 (the real date was some
years earlier. so max that the commence
ment." He then took his pen in hand,
folded his paper with the conscious air OF
authority, squared himself to the table like
one who considered it no trifle even to
write letter, and slowly put down, in
good round hand, as il he had been max
ing out a bill of parcels, the line
"In seventeen hundred and thretty mine"
But beyond this, after repeated attempts,
he was unable to advance. The second
line was the Rubicon he could not pass.
At last, when Andrew Horner reluctantly
admitted that he was not quite in the vein.
the pen. ink and paper were handed to his
By him they were rejected.
for he instantly gave the following, riua
yoce:
''In seventeen hundred and thretty -aine,
The dell gat stuff to max q swine,
And pit ii in a corner;
But shortly after changed his plan,
Maize it to somethiL IKE man,
And called 1t Ana rev Homer
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-05
An EA rNged Female,

"Ilousehold departments" are very good
adjuncts to a newspaper, in their way,
when edited by Il woman. bat the male
Journalist who dabbles with the heaven in
spired mysteries Of cooking runs fearful
risk. The editor Of the Weekly Petaluma
Peariae started column Of that kind re-
Gently, and il few days afterward fierce
looking female came into the office, care
fully concealing sone object behind her
apron.
Are you the EIan that abolished that
new and improved way to make currant
cake!'
He said he was,
You said to mix washing soda with the
flour, and stir in Il little corn meal and sweet
oil to give it consistencyT'
'I-I-believe so.'
''And add fifteen eggs and some molasx
ses, and two ounces OF gum arabic, and sci
in a copl place to bake!'
IL think that was IT.
"Weil, take that. them" and the indigu
nant housewife knocked him down with
weapon that felt like sand club, but which
he felt in his heart must have been halt.
baked hunk OF cake, constructed on the
Pearnae pattern,
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-05
A Doy.Gonc Mop.

She had advertised for the return Of her
dog. and it a lons~haired Skye terrier-a
regular valuable thoroughbred. The re-
ward was to be ten dollars. A stalwart
Celt came ,iuidly forward and asked if
that was the dog. Being answered in the
Affirmative and laid the reward, the afite.
tion of the lady, who kissed and hugged
her poor. dear, darling little Dandy" at-
tracted his attention, and the following
skirmish ensued: ''Where did you ind
the darling?" ''Small comfort would it do
you. Madame, did tell YOU" ''But tell
while l caress the angel" II can't tell
because you wouldn't like it, ''But dear,
darling Dandg-Dlndy cold?' ''Shure.
Madame, don't know. | saw your ad-
vertisement in the paper. and l recognized
him tied To the end of long sthick. and u
woman washin' of winders wild him.
told her she must s'hop washin' Of vim.
ders wid my dog
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-05
Wit unG H7t5r1or.
Striking objSts--clccks.


, Striking objscts--clocks.
How 10 manage Hi.e-relnain single.
In London the ri:Galist8 advertise "A
Three Ioars' Agony Service
The fat !oart!sr called the mould on the
pie an oasis-,l green spot on the dessert.
There is one Kind Of canned goods that
goes OFT quicker ti!an any cta,er-Sunpo"-
der.
The man who originated the saying,
"Iiurry is the rlarh ol weak niind," new
er was chtsal hya bulldog. e
Future punishment 10: other people.
The man who believes in it expects HIM
self TO be happy in ioaven.-iiccv,a,e.
A young gentleman vas accusing sn-
other Of having . big mouth, ''but the
Lord made yours email SO as to give you
plenty of ci'eel;.''
4 good square kick viii sometimes help
Il main further along in this world toward
independence ai,I prosperity than 4 dozen
pulls by the hand.
A native of Kentucky initiates the crow
iny Of !; cock SO remarkably well that the
sun upon several occasions has risen two
hours earlier by mistake.
Jefferson said, .'We seldom rerent OF
hav;n. eaten too little. lie never went out
to fish al day without taking breakfast
before starting. Orleans Pieay,',s.
1.-The pen is migiiter than the sword"
says the poet. Oh, yes, certainly. Bat on
a dark night. when there's burglars in the
house, good double -barrecl shot gun
beats both OF EN-.
The exercise of whipping carpets is
recommended for the development of mus
Gle. Don't let your wife do it. or she may
get the start Of you in developinent.-Chi
eago Journal.
A man in Michigan swapped his horse
for wife. All old bachelor acquaintance
sai,i he'd bet there was something wrong
with the horse, Or its owner would never
have fooled il away in that reckless man
ner.
you wish TO know the value OF time, just
get little speck of dirt in your pocket
chronomctcr and take il around to watch
tinker. He'll biow in it q couple OF times
and charge you $3.50 for repairs.
An Intellectual member CT the Arkansas
Legislature has Introduced q bill abrayiat-
ing the season of Lent from forty TO twen-
y days. He explains that everything else
has come down 80 per cent. since the war,
and there should be no discrimination in
favor Of Lent.
An Irishman weT 10 the theater for the
first ti..le. Just rs tho curtain descended
on the first act boiler In The basement eX-
ploded. ard he was blown through the
roof. coming down in :he next street. AT
ter corning to his senses, he asked: "An'
what piece do yeS play nixt?'
The Rev. mir. A. WAS more prominent
in his day for Tie briliianey OF his imagine
rion than the force OF his logic. At one
time he was preaching on The Ministry
OF angels, and in the perorition he sud-
denly observed: IL hear a Whisper" The
change Of tone startled the deacon, who
sat below. from drowsy mood, and.
springing to his feet. he spoke: IL guess
it is the boys in the gallery"
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-05
Consent to Grow Old.

Age cannot be repelled. and should moi
be concealed, denied or disguised. We
cannot, in these middle years of lite, ap-
prehend its peculiar peace and joy. Spring
blossoms with flowers, and the summer
blooms with ripening fruits. but neither
season reveals the JOY and pride OF harvest.
So, early life gives little token OF happi
ness Of age, yet reason assures us il must
have a happiness Of its own in store for
those who are in harmony with its
conditions. Remember! when we were
children the labors, the studies, even the
pleasures Of grown men and women were
repellant, or incOmprehensible We could
not feel the robust, vigorous happiness
with which adult life assumes its RESPONSE
bilities, performs Its Mbors and bears its
burdens. But when, in dae growth, we
came to these, We took the same joy in
them which puzzled as children so much
in the lives Of our fathers and mothers.
So we can demonstrate (as surely as an as
trsnomer computes an eclipse) that age is
not less happy than yonth, il it IS met and
borne Alright. And observation confirms
what reason alleges for who does not
know some among the old appearing hap
pier than the young? But age must be
met somewhat cheerfuliy. 10 shrink
from it, to contrirc evasions and disguises
Of its approach, to conceal it to ourselves
and deny it to. others, is no way to enter
happily within its restful shade. 1t must
come. 1t is coming. Away, then. with
devices and disguises, the fictions and pre-
lenses, which faisify advancing years. Let
the white hairs bloom. accept the glasses
Or the cane, yield up willingly whatever of
faculty orpower age withdraws, and look
for the compensation which it brings, for
some such assitrediy there are. eConseIs
to grow eil-(b;,sif1, Enso1
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-05
ODDS and Ends.


All the patents on India rubber shoes
have expired, aud that's why most any
sort OF Il man can get trusted for pair this
spring,
New York lithograph firm is getting
out a design for the heading OF Il divorce
certificate. 1t represents Cupid beating
out his bruins with Il law book.
When a man boastingly declares that he
will make Il newspaper suffer by exerting
himself to secure Il withdrawal of all pat
ronage under his influence. he throws
boomerang which invariably returns with
greater force than he anticipated.
Robert c. fngersoll Il wish could
convince the world of tour things: First,
Justice is the only Worship" second, injus-
tice is the only blasphemy; third, reforma-
ton is the only penance: fourth, restitution
is the only repentance
The Chinese encyclopedia. published at
Pekn. contains over 10000 names, and
costs $500 per copy. The religious
weeklies of Pekin will not show much en-
terprise until they offer copy of this book
to each person sending 50 for years SUBJ
scription.
There are Ial Chinese business houses In
San Francisco. In the Celestial directory
are included five boarding houses, four
opium shops, three doctors offices, three
pawnshops. one Photographic gallery, an
undert:lker's store and two newspaper
offices.
II am convinced that the world is daily
growing better" remarked a reverend Alb.
erleen gentleman to a brother minister
my congregation is continually increas-
ing" ''Curious." replied the other, who
happened to be penitentiary chaplain,
''for so is mine"
One Of the boys in the fifth grade Of one
Of the schools in this city is laid up by
u kick in the back from one of the girls In
one of the higher grades. Minneapolis
enterprise beats the world and should not
be lightly spoken of. They are all high
s:epDers.-Pioneer Press.
Theodore X. Roberts, who was murdered
by Mrs. Roberts in Chicago, left $4,000
toward founding high school, from which
religious instruction, the reading of the
Bible and public praying, as also clerical
teachers, directors or -superintendents, nQ
matter OF what taith, shall be forever poat.
lively eXcludcd,''
Concerning Thomas Carlyle. Mrs. Hoop
er tells this story: An American gentle
man once called to see him, and was greet;
ed in the following manner: "Weel, sir,
and so ye come trae that big country wheru
the vote of the grundest scoundrel on airth
is equal to that OF Jesus Christ. And ya
think much o large Washington, but ha
was no "A great mon-he was good sur
veyor, may be, but ho Was no u great
mon."
italian editors are undoubtedly the poor,
est markstnen in the world. not counting
those OF indianapolis. Two journalists. a
Sicilian and Il Neapolitan, lately fought y
duel near Naples with pistols. The prin-
cipals were posted at II distance of fifteen
PAGES, and NO fewer than eight-and-twenty
shots were intercllanged, but not one Of
them took effect. The seconds ut last
stopped the duel and declared honor to h
satisfied.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-05

The word ''cre,li;' means "belief," and
the credit system SIS employed in trade is
simply the expression Of the creditors be
lief that his debtor is able TO pay, and hon
estly intends to pay his debt when due
The credit system has arisen because a
strictly cash system in the transactions OF
ordinary lie is Il practical inpossibility. a
man wishes to hire house. lie is deter
mined to abide by the old and good injunc-
ton, "Pay as you go;' but at the outset
he finds that il lie were to pay his rent ev-
cry night, he would still have been his
landlosd debtor since the preceding night.
B,a to pay every night is inconyenient
He prefers to pay no oftener than once Il
| week. lie is then his landlords debtor
from Saturday night to Saturday night
again. But perhaps for some reason. as
the great distance which lies between him
and his landlord, it is irksome to see him
or to send to him as often as once week.
His landlord. therefore, consents to credit
him till the end of the month, or the end
of the quarter, or the end Of the year. as
the case may be. If the man is not house
holder, but boarder, precisely the same
system must be employed. So that at the
outset of any consideration of the subject
of credit. we must face the fact that the
roots Of it are necessarily and inextricably
interviewer with some Of the simplest and
most inevitable operations OF life. From
these beginnings the credit system grows
by easy and almost insensible gradations
into a vastly extended and, oftentimes,
most oppressive system. The landlord,
knowing that his rent will become due at
the end of the month, incurs debt which
he depends upon the rent to satisfy. The
boarding g-house keeper crediting his board
ers, himself obtains credit on supplies.
The man on salary runs in debt to the
amount of his salary. possibly spending
the money from day to day no faster than
he has earned it, bnt always before he re-
ceives. This process tempts the laboring
man, or the man on salary, to forego the
chance Of saving something for time Of
need. and lays the foundation for demor-
alization of character which results in maxi
ing him perfectly con:ented with living in
a hand-to-mouth way. which, If misfortune
comes, fails him altogether, and thus he
becomes an object of charity or pauper.
This counting on future contingency,
also. is process always open to failure.
The tenant is i'll. or out of employment,
or loses the money, and so cannot pay his
rent; he is obliged to get an extension of
credit. and his landlord, falling to get his
pay, also puts of hs creditor, and so it |
goes on. BY and By, these people get used
to being in debt, and grow careless as to
whether the amount of their Indebtedness
exactly corresponds to, or tails seswithin |
their resources; and when. Because times
are easy and confidence abounds. almost
everybody gets in this condition. the bnsi- |
ness world is ripe ~ essrh and panic, !
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-05
Mu7s's BettcY-X0f.

There are twenly-siA women lawyers in
the L niten States.
Girls, instead OF chasing UP young
man you .ial better be cilts,e yourself.
The cynic Of the New iisyen Register has
q notion that N. B.'s" at the end OF ladies
letters means new bonnets.
Darling, isn't this an excellent photo
graph of me:' why, no, wife; there is
too much r~pose about the month";
4 Young lady ate halt wedding cake
and then tried TO dream OF her future hus-
band. New she says that she would rather
die than marry the man she saw in her
dream.
a wly-married lady was telling anoth-
er how nicely her husband could write.
ooh, You should just see some of his love
lctters.' "les, know" was tha freezing g
reply; I've got bushel OF 'em in my
trunk" Ta5leau.
An elderly gentleman seen kissing a lady
in Il West Side neiglborhood CAUSED the
tongue of scandal TO move recently, says
the Norwich BnHcfin. but when they learn
eli that she was his wife, they applied to
the nan, in admiration. to learn how hs
had kept the practice up for twenty years.
As Mrs. James Ii. Rushing was washing
clothes IN !. lake near Palestine, Texas, the
other day. she was attacked by cata-
mount, which sprang upon her. At first
she was almost oycrpowered. bl.' being 4
woman Of strong muscle and nerve, she
finally drew thc ftrocous brute into the
lake ard drowned it.
1t certainly betuaened very cloudy
matrimonial life, and yet the poor widows
remark was quaint enough to make a smile.
When her friend condoled with her. she
heayed deep sigh and murr ared: ''Wcll,
there is one consolation. at any rate.
know where poor john is now O. nights.
and that is something | could never find
out before
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-05
The New C0achmam.
Chicago Tribune.

Isabella, my DEAR" said rich gentle
man on the South Side to his eldest dauSh-
ter and house-keeper-her mother sleeps
at Rosehill, unless there has been special
interposition of grave-robbers in behalf of
her corpse-''Isabella, my dear, | have en-
gagged new coachman." s.IIaye you, pa ~
inquired the mature but beautiful girl !;
''what is his nameg' ''Herbert Montgom-
ery,' said her father. And all the evening"
the lady went scribbling Isabella Mont
gomery,' md "Mrs. Herbert Montgom-
cry" and so OH, over her blotting-pad, and
she went asleep to dream that Cupid, with
a pair of blinkers over his eyes, smiled up
on her-nay, burst into horse-laugli--
while marriage bells chimed in the dis
tance, and Herbert Montgomery under
went transformation scene into lord
with $4O0, 600 year. And her wiley father
smiled, too, as he sought his couch, for
Herbert Montgomery is 5s years old and
has wife and seven children.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-05
Won't Let Him of.

And so this traitor-lover strives
To turn her love to hate;
With tie Order Of the Mittan she
Him will not decorate,
Fov girls are many and beaus are few,
With him she will not quarrel;
She hath up in her bureau-drawer,
Mid galas of jet and coral,
And i.anikerchiefs, and ties Of lace,
And snowy cuffs and collars,
Letters which in breach-ot-promise suit
Would be worth ten thousand dollars.