Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-11-13
Sips of Hum.

Mr.. Spurgeon will not come
to this country after all. Yet
Iif he did come, we suppose hC
would come "alter ALP he could
get.
Clown at a circus: "Here la
dies and gentlemen, is a pony
AS you will see, | can do with
him whatever-he likes"
1t is said that a case of hydro
phobia can be cured if the pa
tient will exert his will power,
but it is far better for one to ex-
ert his leg-power when he sees a
mad dog coming.
The worst case Of selfshness
on record is that Of a youth who
complained because his mother
put a bigger mustard plaster on
his brother than she did on him.
They told the old man his girl
was keeping a milliner store, and
when he went home and told it,
all the neighbors wondered what
she kept a mill in her store for.
1t is against the law to carry
concealed arms, yet it is moth
ing uncommon on moonlight
evenings to see young ladies
with half-concealed arms around
their waists.
A young lady upin Berkshire
county, Mass, was stung on
the lip by Il bee, the other day.
We congratulate that bee on
knowing just where the honey
was.
It was ali unfortunate mistake
of the compositor to put under
the head line "Reduction in the
Price OF Gas" the statement that
Mr.. receives only $50 for
a lecture now, instead Of 500
as formerly.
Circumstances alter cases. The
man who is OH the train thinks
it tarrics too long at every sta-
ton; not so with the one who is
a block away and coming rapid
ly towards it when the bell
rings.
At the front gate, two weeks
before the wedding. He: "My
sweet! my darlingr" She: evil
lie, my love-" At the front
gate, two years after. She:
"Bill, where are you going?"
He: IN one o your business"
"Don't be afraid to praise your
servants when they deserve it"
an exchange; but the
minute the husband tries that on
the hired girl she has to hunt for
situation.
\ recitation room scene: Pro-
fessor in history to non-attentive
senior: "Alr.--how long did
the thirty years war last?" Ma.
S: "AbOut sixteen years, | think,
sir" Applause On the part of
the attentive seniors.
'Prisoner, how old are you?"
"Twenty-two, your Honor"
"Twenty-two? Your papers
make ont that you were born
twenty-three years ago"
$50 l was, but l spent a year
in prison, and | don't count that
it was lost time"
Old gentleman: IL shall re-
port you, young man. Why
didn't you stop the car before?
Here | have been running after
your car more than a block"
Conductor: "All right, guv'nor,
I'm sorry, but | amt like a per-
tatcr, eyes all over"
When a woman carefully
slides out Of bed in the dead of
night, and by the pale light of
the moon goes through her hus-
bands pockets, why does she al
ways take the small change and
leave the bills? An5wer-Bc-
cause she doesn't.
A little girl, while out for her
afternoon walk, saw a pompous-
looking man strutting down the
street. With chiId-like simplic-
ity the little thing ran up to him,
touched him lightly on the arm
and said: Excuse me, sir, but
are you anybody i'll Particular"
They were courting-"What
makes the stars shine so dim to-
night?" she said softly. "Your
eyes are so much brighter" he
whispered, pressing her little
hand. They are married now.
II wonder how many telegraph
poles it would take to reach from
here to the stars" she said mu-
singIy. "One, if it was long G.
nough," he growled. "Why
don't you talk common sense?"
Singular, but a married man
in a street car can see the look
of pretty anxiety come over a
pretty girls face clear at the
other end Of the car the moment
she begins to tumble for her fare
long before she is ready, but he
can't see his wife down on her
A