Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-10-25
HOME FRIENDSHIPS.
From the Philadelphia Ledger.


Living always together, the members Of one
family are apt to become monotonous and unin-
teresting to one another. Having had such
abundant opportunity, they fancy they have
entirely fathomed each other and that there is
nothing more to find out. There is no longer
the attraction OF curiosity or the stimulus of
variety. They are not wildly impressed, nor
do they feel able to impress in their turn. 50
there comes TO be tameneSs and insipidity
about home life which Is supposed to be inherent
. in it. The feeling OF the useleSSneSS of effort
>deadens effort, and a lukewarm spirit Of calm
goodwill is all that is ever aimed at That this
Is the case in numerous families may be proved
by the change which they experience on the ar
rival Of any valued guest New life and energy
seem to enter with him and pervade the hitherto
nstless household; each one feels new pleasure
and an unwOnted desire to please, which ar.
equally exhilarating; but, after his departure
they gradually sink back into the old apatne.t
routine. OF course the eager heart OF youth
especially cannot be satisfied with this; 1t mus
put out its tendrils and cling to something; it
Graves animated intercourse, warm sympathy,
earnest purposes, strong emotions, and finds
them in outside friendships.
Now, While such attachments are not to BE-
Unfortunately discouraged, bringing their own
special advantages and pleasures, it is to be SIN
cerely deplored that friendships inside the home
are so exceedingly rare, and that the young are
so generally growing up in the idea that they
are impossible. There are OF course, many hon.
orable exceptions TO this where. not only huS-
band and wife have been lifelong and devoted
friends but also parents and children, brothers
and sisters Yet the careful preservation of
these instances. and the extreme respect ac-
cordC TO them. proves their comparative rarity.
Probably each OF us can recall few such cases,
which stand out in bold relief against the multi
tud6s Of households who consider themselves
highly blessed If they only succeed in avoiding
Contention and preserving tolerable ciyilty
among one another
Yet II would seem as If nearly all the materials
6r earnest and steadfast friendship might be
found within circle already Joined by bonds OF
instructive affection and mutual interest. There
Is Sufnc1ent similarity OF taste purpose position
TO win sympathy; and there is sufficient variety
OF age, sex, and circumstance, to prevent mon
otony. There Is every opportunity for elevatng
natural fOndneSs into lOftier affection, for
developing the germs Of respect and love into
the rich and fun growth of noble friendship.
All the more delicate relations of sex are flu
lille d in their utmost purity by the friendship OF
mother and son, father and daughter, brother
and sister. Why then should years spent under
the same roof SO often separate and scatter the
afe tons OF childhood, Instead of cementing and
Strengthening them into the rich and steadfas
fr1eLdShipS OF maturer life?
Probably the chief cause of this IS that the
people rely on the inStinctiveneSs OF natural
affection as being all-SufficIent. without effort
They imagine that family love Is strong enough
TO take care OF ITSELF so they take but little plinS
to preserve it from the shocks and jars OF daily
life And they also suppose that they are 50
well-known TO each other that IL is not worth
while TO present their fairer side. In all this they
are mistaken. Natural affection offers fine
foundation on which to erect the edlfice OF firm
and enduring friendship, but it will not rise up
OF ITSELF We must build 1t, stone by stone, II
We would possess 1t. II we have valued and
respected lTltnu, what pains we take 10 CHERISH
his friendship; how carefully we endeayor to
prune away from ourselves that which would
dlsplease Fin and cultivate those qualities
which he admireS; how we strive TO CRAFTY
him by pleasant surprises and to avoid all that
could wound or trouble him, Yet, let the
familiar house-door shut us In and how many OF
us take the same pains? Here we throw off re-
Stralnt, We air our worse SIDE that has been Sed-
ulouSly hidden, and allow our better qualities
that have been in full exercise, to fall asleep.
How many OF us anXiOuSly make the most and
the best or ourselves TO our own family? How
many OF us regard the home as the arena for Civ
ing, not getting, pleasure, for spreading, no,
absorbing, comfort? 1t Is the simple working
of natural and inevitable law; that which we
SOW we shall sure reap. II we cultivate home
friendships with the same aSSiduity that we give
to those outside, they Will yield US even richer
ard fairer returns. There is no friendship SO
pure and beautiful in its nature so rich and full
In its power OF bless ng or so singulariy rare in
It's occurrence, as that between parents AM
tneif grown-up sons and daughters. Where the
parental and nlial instincts are supplemented b.
lnal hlgher and more spiritual affection tina
plhus together minds in Intellectual communion
anu sous IN heartfelt sympathy, few deeper
T 1role ue aln friendships can be imagined
Inc guarulan and dependent gradually lose
themselves IN the dear companion and true
1rlend OF later life and youth becomes wiser AMI
age brighter, and both nobier and happier. To-