The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1879-01-25

Ne never split !. but Aiwsyya voted square
ESABLEs Hm.--In England the Princess Louise
outranks her husband, but as Governor General
Of Canada, LOrne assumes n position that en-
ables him to command his wife to get down on
her knees and pare his corns.
girl ia Trenton, N. j., marred Hungarian
nObleman, and now she has to take in washing
six days week instead or two, as formerly, in
order to support her title with sufficient
style. Promotion in the social scale always
brings increased responsibilities with it.
An old lady once rescued W. H. Seward from
drowning and he gave her set Of silver spoons.
This was not the way with General Butler. lie
was never known to give any silver spoons
away.
The New York Herald tells Of an American
young lady Of eighteen springs" Probably her
name is Sofy.-BOstOH Post. Miss take-Sara
Togn.-BoSf0zl Commercial Bulletin. On the
contrary, she wore no toga she a trapeze
performer.
Vice is very prolific. A lie hates to be alone
and must have company. He who tells one
lie is sure to tell another TO cover up the first
and n third to cover up the other two. After
that he becomes accustomed to it and stops
counting.
Death and marriage are two evils to which all
men come sooner or later. To the first they
come unwillngly, to the last with certain
eagerness which shows how profound is their
ignorance of consequences
All honors 10 the man whose epitaph is written
below wo ne'er shall look upon his like again.
When he departed his friends put up q marble
slab with this inscription, the duplicate Of which
you will hardly find in any other country Of the
globe -
An honest fellow here is laid,
HIS debts in full he always paid
And whats more rare his nsishbors tells Us,
Detroit grocer, who has little time to
study human nature, and who would have saved |
money If he only had little more time, wrote
note to several parties selected for the OCCASION
to the effect that he had lost his account books |
and must depend upon their honor to call and |
give in the balance against them. One Of them |
replied that he presumed be owed 50 or 81, |
when the books showed that he undoubtedly /
owed $2S; another thought there might be a |
possible balance against him, though he had /
been very careful to pay cash down, and yet his /
account was Sl4 and over. Out Of twelve or
fourteen customers the grocer found one who /
replied that he owed SO 80, being so cents too
much lie then wrote to each that he had /
found his books, and sent statement OF account;
and rs they dropped into the store one at time,
each laughed, shook hands and remarked 81
knew it was one Of your jokes, Of course, and so
thought I'D give you a chance TO play it clear
through"
A couple Of chaps, whose years will be few in
the land IL they do not reform, entered Gratiot |
avenue saloon five or six days ago and one Of |
them explained to the proprietor:
90 This fellow and me have got bet. bet /
him $40 that Grant will be the next President, |
and be takes me. Here's the money-we want !
YOU to keep it until the bet is decided in $780,"
civil do zo,'' was the calm reply, as the /
money was raked in.
The strangers departed, each vigorously assert
ing that he wasn't afraid to trust the saloOnist.
and they were not seen again until yesterday
afternoon. They then appeared TO remark:
- We have been talking the thing over, and /
have concluded to withdraw that bet. Is sas
been some trouble to you, and If you hand over
80 we'll call it square,"
al Iam no such mon as dot, - replied the saloon
ist as be opened the ill - makes no charge
here is der cash "
He threw them oui the two fives they had left,
a sIy twinkle in his eye, and as they slid out he
called after them:
HShentIemens, when you makes any mOar' pets /
rlease call aroundt -
But they won't. The two bills were base |
counterfeits and they didn't get mixed up with
his honest cash
A ScoTCMGNs PRAYER.-What do you think |
of this for q prayer at family worship Adam
Scott gives the following as prayer once offered |
by a shepherd, and grandmother has herself
heard prayers almost as plain, In their comment
on the people around, from the lips Of Scotch and
Scotch-Irish folk
We particularly thank Thee for Thy great
goodness to Meg; and that it ever cam into thy
head to take any thOch Of sic useless girl as
her For the sake o. thy puir sinfu' creatures
now addressing Thee. in their ain shilly-shally
xay and for the sake Of mair then we daur weel
name to Thee, hae mercy on our Rab- Ye ken,
he's g wild, mischievous Gallant, and thinks nae
nair o'committing sin than a dog o'lickin
dish. But put thy hook intill his mouth, and gar
him come back to thee, wi, jerk that he'll no
forget the longest day he has to live. Dinna for
Get muir Jamie, who 8 far away frae US the NIGHT;
feep thy arm o'POwer about him, and wish We
Irad endow him wi a little spunk to ach for him
seIT. for if ye dnna he'll be but bauchle i'this
,~arId. and n back sitter 1.-THE next. Thou hast
aJ4ed ven to our family (one Of bis sons had been
iust married against bis approbation)- So has
Rssn Thy wull. It wsd never ha' been mine.
Pnt n Il is o. Thee, do thou bless the cOnnee-
-, But If the fule hath done it out o. earnal i
desire. against a reason and credit, may the
caaId rain o. adversity settle in his habitation.
Amen - Christian al BOrk.