Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-07-03
A RED RIVER JOKE.

Eli Perkins writes to the Chicago
Tribune:
The ride down Red river on the steamboat
is one of the most charming rides to be taken
in this country. The lands are level on each
side, and from the sstexas'' of the steamboat
you can see the farms extending back from
the river. On the Red river and Winnipeg
lake are sixteen steamers. They all seem to
be doing we'll. The whole country is given
over to enterprise, work and fun. No jbke is
too broad to be perpetrated on any one. In
our party was ex- Governor Bross, of Chicago.
This was the Governors second trip to Win
nipeg-he having come here in 1871, with
Jay Cooke, Charles A. Dana, Colfax, and q
large party of excursionists. The Governors
chief Joy was to stand in the pilot-house and
steer thu boat. Capt. Alexander Greggs, of
our boat, the Manitoba, was always ready for
his joke, and he put up good one on Gov.
Bross. He invited a large party of ladies and
gentlemen, iucluing Gov. .Cauchon, of Mani
toba, up in the pilot-house to see Gov. Bross
steer the Doat-remarkingto the ladies that
he had instructed the engineer to run the
boat into the bank. ooh (! I'll show you
some jolly fun"
When they all got there, there stood Gov.
Bross steering the Manitoba as fondly as 8
young lady drives her first span of horses
After while Captain Greggs disappeared be-
low, and then the fun. commenced. Cover
nor Cauchon was telling how boat ran into
the bank and killed several passengers on
previous trip. This made Governor Bross
little nervous. Then the Manitoba began to
wobble around her bow went everywhere
end then she suddenly took sheer, went
first one way, and then another and then ran
straight into the Dakota bank.
"Great heavens what are you doing?
Stop her - screamed the captain.
~ can't! Send some one up here! Oh |!
Bross, turning as pale as ashes, while the
passengers, who were posted on the Joke.
only screamed and laughed at his discom-
future.
IF had been the means of killing any
innocent passengers I should never have
forgiven myself, said the Governor tremb-
lingly, as he sat in the cabin wiping the
drops of cold Precipitation off his brow.
1t was long time before we could get the
governor into the pilot house again; but
by and-by he came up there and sat down.
de eyed the pilot closely, saw what he did,
and then he watched lady passenger who
steered the boat as easily as you could drive
pair of horses. Pretty soon the governor
stood up and said
CHOW, am an American. / see how the
wheel goes, and know can steer this boat.
1 know I cam
.'Try it, Governor. OF course you can
steer it, J" said Captain Greggs, winking at
the ladies.
Cali right" said the Governor. "rn try
it once more" And then he took hold of
the wheel.
In few minutes the captain disappeared.
He went down below and began to fool with
the rudder. Soon the boat began to play
pranks. Then she started for the banks,
while the ladies all screamed. The whistles
blew, the bell rang and the boat went crash
ing into the willows. @
ooh I've done it again, confound it It's
all my fault exclaimed the Governor,
trembling from head to foot as the Captain
rushed up. "Have I done any damage
have ], Captain?''
The Captain assured Governor Boss that
only two passengers we're injured, and that
the boat could be easily repaired. .a
20 dear! Confound it ! I wouldn't try
to steer another boat for ten thousand dol
lars And it looks so easy, too!' unused the
Governor, as be went down stairs to apollo
gize to the ladies.
The Governor will never know, till he
picks up the Tribune somewhere in Dakota,
how it was about that steamboat; and then
Presbyterian or no Presbyterian believe
he will swear all to himself from Fargo to
Duluth.