The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1879-05-14
Gtitt and JeSf.

For thy sweet oornstalk I've an ear"
With husky voice the youth replied,
But I'm too green 10 pop, I fear"
Said saucy Kate, You mover try"
Trdmps have not refused to take trade
dollars.
Moving for new trial--Courting sec.
ond wife.
The last language spoken on earth will
probably be the Finish.
To blow ont a kerosinc lamp with safety
to yourself Get somebody else to do the
blowing.
II must be emincnt1y right and good to
rise at an early hour, because it is so unhu.
manly hard to do it.
il is easier for needle to 20 through the
eye Of rich MAT than for an editor to
please everybody
fan oilice.holder wants to be good to
himself, he will never let his right baud
know what his left hand gets away with.
Marriage" says a cync is like putting
your hand into bag containing ninety.nine
snakes and one eel. You may get the eel,
but the chances are against you"
I'm the sentence, John strikes William"
remarked school teacher, what Is the oh
ject of strikesF Higher wages and less
work promptly replied the intelligent
youth
A young gentleman vas, the other day.
accusing another of having n big mouth.
YES, said the other, "but the Lord had to
make yours small TO give you plenty Of
cheek"
IL does not follow that women are cobblers
or blacksmiths because they are good hands
to shoe hens.
A Nevada tramp applied to doctor for
some work and the doctor asked him what
he could do. well" said he, 81 could dig
graves"
I'm not in mourning" said younglady,
frankly, to querist "but as the widows are
getting all the offers nowadays, we poor
girls must do something to protect our.
selves"
A young lady, hcsitating for a word, in
describing a rejected sutton, Hes not ty.
rant, not exactly domineering, but"
"DoGmatic," suggested her friend. mo, he
has not dignity enough for that / think
pupmatic would convey my meaning admir-
ably"
TWAS rather late yesterday morning when
Mr.. Willaby got up, and he was vaguely
conscious of confused recollection of
things, but he didn't say much and tried to
appear as cheerful as he knew how. Pres
emily breakfast was announced, and the
family took their places at the table, but
Mr.. Willaby was amazed, as he sat staring
at six little round wooden boxes of axle
grease ranged solemnly in front of his plate.
Where under the sun" he said, with puz'
zled intonation, what in thunder-where did
all this axle grease come from and what is it
forF' Oh, isitaxlc greasc?' asked his wife,
with charming simplicity and innocence
just trihe overdone. "You said last night
when you brought these cans home that they
were oysters aud would be nice for break.
fast. | thought you had better eat them
right away, as they didn't smell as though
they would keep very much longer" And
then Mrs. Willaby removed the cans, and
her husband sat and looked ut the teapot
and thought so long that his coffee was
cold as rich relation when he thought to
drink it.
TRAprIxG a WIrNEss-It is of Warren,
he author of Ten Thousand a Year" that
his sharp practice in the examination of
nan accused of swearing falsely in will
Ease is related, 1t shows great dramatic
power unconseiously exhibited in his daily
business
The prisoner being arraigned and the
gone through with, the prose-
,utOr placing his thumb over the seal held
up the will and demanded of the prisoner
whether he had seen the tcsIator sign that
instrument, to which he promptly answered
nc had.
And did you sign it at his request as
subscribing witnessY
II did"
"Was It sealed with red or black waxY'
with red wax"
did you see him seal It with red waxp'
II did"
where was the testator when he signed
md sealed this wll?'
"In his bed"
pray how long piece of wax did he
Use r.
about three or -four inches"
who gave the testator this piece Of
yaxy
~ did"
"Wherc did you get itY'
From the drawer in his desk"
"Iiow did he light the piece of wax2"
with candle
where did that piece Of candle come
rom p
81 got il out of cupboard in his room"
"Ilow long was that piece of candle2'
Perhaps four or five inches long
"Who lit itg'
II lit it"
what with p
with a match"
"Whcre did you get that match2"
"0n the mantel shelf in his ROOM