The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-06-26
MULTUM IN PARvO.

MULTUM IN PARvO.
A MAN living in Henrietta, Tex, has
domesticated four buffalos.
CHATTANOOGA, Tenn, has boy ora
tor who is only six years old.
"THIs can't be beat" as the man
said when he bought the porcelain egg.
eternal vigilance is the price of
liberty taken with another mans prop
erty.
A MASSACHUSETTS man decides that
when robin becomes white the cause
is disease.
"HEAvENs and EARTH" cried Cetv-
wayo. "there's Prince Napoleon-I
surrender"
RAILWAYS are aristocratic. They
teach every man to know his own STA
ton and to stop there.
If you won't listen to reason when
you are young you will get your
knuckles raped when you are old.
The Bradford (Pa.) Era thinks the
only difference between a small boy
and glass of soda-water is five cents.
CHARLEs-"W What did that spring
suit cost you, Alp" Alfred" Can't
s zsy ;, dear 00y-h'Ven't been sued for it
THERE is one advantage in marrying
woman who hasn't any mind of her
own; she can't forever be giving you q
piece of it.
IT is greatly to the advantage of
brilliant man if he possesses common
sense along with other accomplish
ments.-M. o. Hcayuse.
FASHION tells people to leave their
homes in the summer to 90 and be mis-
cradle at some little country pump or
spring called watering-place.-M. O.
Rcayssse.
"BR1LL1ANT and impulsive people,"
said a lecturer on physiognomy, shave
black eyes, or, if they don't have 'em,
they're apt to get 'em, if they're too
impulsive."
AN exchange announces the sad par
ticulars of fatal accident. We are
glad it said they were sad, as people
might otherwise have taken them to be
INSTRUMENTATION Post.
AN English Judge, who has con-
tinued his observations on the bench
for twenty years or more, says that de-
PENDANTS in breach of promise cases
have very rarely well-developed fore
heads.
SARAH BERNHARDr is by no means
stout, still this does seem to be little
exaggerated: "An empty carriage
drove up to the door and Sarah Bern
hardt dismounted from it."-Paris
Paper.
THERE is truth in my remarksr'
yelled out scolding wife to her suffer-
ing husband, and no meekly answered,
"fn grant all the truth there is in your
remarks if you will only put fewer re-
marks into your TRUTH
We acknowledge the receipt of q
poem entitled "What Is a Sigh?' from
"Algeron." Well, Algeron, ace high
is sometimes good for the pot if you
have nerve enough to bluff the other
fellows.-Boston Bulletin.
"NoTH1NG seems to me So ill-bred,"
says young man. as to smoke in the
presence of ladies'" "Well," q friend
asks, show do you manage when there
are ladies present and you want to
smoker elbow do manager Why,
seem ill-bred.'
APARALLEL to the phrase, common
in advertisements for servants in En-
glish journals, No Irish need apply"
has been found by Truth in the Glasgoso
Herald.
Cook (experienced) desires situation in good
class family. Will not engage where American
meat is used.
CALIFORNIA is the paradise of wo-
men. They are much healthier and
plumper there than in the Eastern
States. Nervousness is almost un-
known. California women average ten
pounds in weight more than those on
the Atlantic slope.-CalJornia Ez-
change.
A NEW novel is called "a Lady's
Four Wishes" An old bachelor says
he hasn't read the book, but he knows
what her wishes are. "First, new
bonnet; second, a new bonnet; third, a
new bonnet; fourth, new bonnie"
From this, one might suppose that the
old bachelor was a married man.
N01rist0s0n Herald.
A MAN went through the Bankruptcy
Court. He owned fine horse and gig,
and they both disappeared for time;
but by and by the horse and gig were
doing service for the same owner again.
On being asked what this meant, the
mans reply was: ~ went through the
Bankruptcy Court; but the horse and
gig went round"
"WHAT was the cause of your ia
theirs deathp" the clergyman asked
Thompson, at the last sociable:
Asthma !" unblushingly replied
Thompson: "foolishly went up an ele-
walton, and got up so hi III he couldn't
catch his breath" Now the fact was,
the elder Thompson was hanged, but
the clergyman did not know that. So
he Just said "Ah! with a plying &C
cent, and then they talked politics.
Burlington Hswk-Eye.
THESE bright, sunny mornings, when
the dew glistens on the neatly-trimmed
lawn, she daintily trips out of doors,
and, with the Incompatible grace of
loneliness, grabs her dress skirts with
one hand, and carefully, slowly walks
with gingerly PAGES, looking intently
on the green grass that bends SUBJ
missive to the touch of her tiny
feet, and when she has discovered and
gleefully plucked the four-leaf clover
Of her hopes, she fits into the house,
leaving on the retina of an unbiased
observer q vision of fairy-ike
beauty. that is only dispelled by the
knowledge that she, alas! like all the
rest, chews gum. Oh! the hollowness
Of all our earthly hopes!-Neso Haven
How the Girls Father Saved 81, 500.
A YOUNG man who had long and
dearly loved beautiful girl on Warren
avenue. besought of her recently to
name the happy day. which she did
with such fond, reluctant delay that
it would hardly have been thought
that she had made up her mind what
the date was to be more than two