The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1879-11-06
Humors of the Telegraph

The majority of the reading. and all
of the educated world are familiar with
the accepted theories regarding cleo
tricity, and with the application OF these
theories by which we have the tele-
graph. But comparatively few have
lifted the veil of the temple and wit
messed the peculiar results of its practi-
= cal w rliing. And these are the en-
ployees OF the companies whose business
it Is 10 control and make use of the
mysterious agency and wOnder-work-
ing wires" for the convenience and hap
pincss of the public.
In the history Of the Western Union
complr\ | recall but two instances OF
the known betrayal by operators or the
contents OF important messages among
the millions of opportunities and in
ducements offered.
limo other business are mistakes more
common, or for many reasons so eXcusa-
BILE. For instance, a composltor or II
copyist has his manuscript to easily con-
suit, and, to II certain extent, Is mas
ter of his own time; but an operators
time, especially if receiving message,
is governed by the one at the other end
of the line. and he must depend for ac
curacy upon the correctness of his ear
and memory. Nearly every one has
read of the Indignation of that father
who received a message that his sickly
daughter, who was absent at school,
had a child this morning." and the
subsequent appeasal of his wrath upon
finding ort that the original message
read "chill," not "child." Not long
ago Ger tain charitable institution was
considerably mystified by message ask
ing for the whereabouts of Monkey
Wrench" The inquiry was instantly
I, Mnthar Ernnnh u hnIE-
ever. upon being returned to the tele-
graph company for explanation, and
apology made for the unintentional
blunLer. 1t was, think, the same
operator who, in taking an Associated
Press article, innocently spoke OF Mrs.
Herman" as secretary of the treasury
Il sudden advance in woman's rights to
which the secretary, Mr.. Sherman,
would doubtless object. And peace
full family circle ought not to be sur
prised, as it was, by receiving the fol-
lowing: John is dead beat. Depot
this evening" when correct transmits,
sion of the dispatch would have rendered
it, "Joha is dead. Be at depot this
evening" I recall another family
agitated by the telegraphic information
that Brother lied last night" only to
ultimately find out that he had departed
life instead of truth.
Some time since a message tran smlt-
ting the intelligence that the Presby
terry lacked IA quorum to ordain, caused
a prodigious amount OF ecclesiastical
wonderment and dismay on reaching its
destination by announcing that :" the
Presbytery tackled worm on to Adam. "
Comment is unnecessary.
The worthy and sedate DR.. Blank, of
one of our eastern colleges, once accepted
,tox,,
city. His letter of acceptance, appoint
subicct of his discourse, and, to adver
tisc in advance, the committee was
Obliged to telegraph him, equesting his
subject. They were somewhat aston
ished at his Ieply, but not thinkiSg of
the possibility of a mistake, handed it
over to the only daily paper, which in a
highly eulogistic but misleading article
advised all its readers to hear Rev. DR..
Blank deliver his celebrated and; ex-
tremely humorous lecture-subject: "A
Flea for Activity" The Doctor arrived
too late to have the announcement
changed to what it shonld have been
"A Plea for Activity land the result
was disappointed house and grieveo
lecturer.
The mistakes of the telegraph, otter
SOlbNlllliFS ui
occasionally in their results of great i'm
portance. 1t was not long ago that &
wheat speculator in Chicago made $50
600 by small order being accidentally
changed to an immensely large one.
believe he has made no complaint. HaC
the market turned the other way though
Some years ago the daughter of we'll
known citizen of central New York
named Jennie, had unfortunately, as the
father then thought. formed an attach
ment for a young man named John. Tc
separate them the father sent her tc
spend the, winter with married sister
Spring approached and Jennie was ex.
pected home on certain day. but, in
stead, the father received letter from
his sen-in-law desiring that she NIGH
remain while longer so that his wifi