davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09
HOW NOT TO GET THE LOCAL NEWS.

The other day an old and respected citizen
came into our Office, and after paying his last
years subscription, took seat and remark
ed
Il guess you needn't send me the paper
any longer | have just subscribed for a
Philadelphia paper which suits me pretty
well, and doesn't cost as much as the OJser.
ver.'
Here he handed us the paper for inspec-
ton. We found it to be neat looking
sheet handsomely printed with a large en-.
graved head, and containing forty eight col
umns of miscellaneous reading matter.
Fair looking paper, we remarked as we
handed it back TO him but did you ever
see anything in it concerning our county p
We'll, | don't know as ever have
Anything in regard to the State p
Nothing
And yet you give up paper that contains
the local market reports, the state of the
crops, the deaths and marriages, and the
thousand and one happenings from week to
week which 60 to make up the history of
the region in which you are most interested,
aud which you can get from no other source,
and take instead city paper, simply because
it comes little cheaper.
Yes, and it contains more reading mat.
ter he added.
Certainly we remarked, but what is the
character Of the matter? Nothing in regard
to your own village-your schools, your
churches, your local improvements and the
thousand and one thirgs that happen in your
county. There is nothing in it that helps to
build up your county aud support home in
stitutions. 1t is as foreign to you as the
city in which it is published. 1t may cou-
tain more reading matter but your neighbor-
hood is not represented in its columns
But why can't you furnish your paper
cheaper if they can afford much larger one
in the city at a low price 2? he queried. La
Dor is certainly cheaper here
For the reason that a country paper has
a small circulation compared with city pa
per, and the labor expended upon 900 pa
pers is about the same a. $4,000, especially
when it is taken into consideration that the
city weekly which is furnished for dollar
year is made up of the type set for the
daily
That's enough exclaimed the old gentle.
man, as he pulled out his wallet, Just send
me the Observer for another year
A. he bade US good morning. and passed
through the sanctum door, we head him
remark: It's my belief that a man who
stops or refuses to subscribe to his local pa
per simply because it doesn't contain rs
much reading matter as one made up from
daily and published in the city should be
supplied with medical almanacs at the pub
lie exnense - lInterLnn " W Ohaerrer
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09
HE KNEW THE ROPES.

The other evening a man with his hat on
his ear and and knowing look in his eyes
got off Grand Trunk train and made inqui-
ries about an uptown hotel, and finally de.
cided to take hack up. Nothing was said
about the fare, which was fifty cents; but
when he had been safely carried to his des-
tination, he pushed his nat up little more,
drew down his left eye, and said to the hack.
man:
"Now, boy, look a.here! | hain't travel.
edo ! no and | don't know my gait.
I've heard of you iellers before, and I'm
right en- the gouge and kick. I'll give you
a dollar for this ride, but not another cent
IN fight first !
The driver took the dollar in place of the
anticipated fifty cents, aud the smart Aleck
walked into the hotel to tell the clerk how
he blufted fellow weighing thirty pounds
more than he pulled down, Free Press.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09
ANOTHER YEAR.

Another year Another year
On who shall see another year?
shalt thou, old man Of hOary head,
or eyesight dim and feeble tread?
Expect it not Time, pain, ana grief
lave made thee like the autumn leaf
Ready. by blast or selfdecay,
From It's slight hold to drop away;
And some sal morn may gid thy bier
Long, long before another year.
Another year Another year,
on who shall live another year?
snail ! GU, the young g.? or you, the fair ?
All the presumptuous thought rorbear
Nlthln the churclyard's peaceful bounds
Come, pause and ponder Der the mounds
Here Beauty sleeps. That verdant length
of grave contains what once was Strength.
Inc chlld-the boy-the man are here -
You may not see another year.
Another year, Another year!
On who shall see another year?
Shall l. whose burning thirst for fame
No earthly power can queuch CT tame
Aas that burning thirst may soon
BE Ger. and all beneath the moon
All my fine visions, fancy wrought,
Ana all this vOrtex-whirl OF thought
Forever cease and disappear
Ere dawns on earth another year
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09

Good, well-grown radishes, tender, juicy
and crisp are delicious in the spring and
summer. The kind we generally have are
long, tough, stringy and sharp enough to
the taste to make us wish that we never
touched the blamed mean, red, rooty-look
ing object dignifed with the name of radsh
A correspondent of Pick's Monthly writes
after having rather a horror of the ordinary
radish and becoming well acquainted with
true, well crowned radish at the World's
Fair at Paris: TO obtain early radishes,
make slight hot-bed SOW the seed in drills,
then thin out as soon as they appear above
ground, so that the plants will stand an inch
apart in the rows, and then give them plen-
ty of air and light. II kept too close they
will grow all tops. A little later make q
cold frame, using a light, sandy soil, and al
ways succeed if | can give the plants plenty
ofair and light. Sometimes, when the wea.
ther is darkened and stormy and it is moi
possible to give air, the plants become
drawn that is, having long slender top.
ana no DulOs OF any consequence. foi
open'air culture the same writer obtains the
best mold from the woods ,oDe load of which
is worth three of posed-manure for
growing radishes, which is used as a top
dressing to the depth of an inch or two, il
possible. The kinds grown are the white
and red turnip, and the long scarlet. he
also considers a white kind, the Long White
Naples, as the best late variety he has ever
tried. Everybody thinks it is easy to grow
radishes, and they grow them or think
they do; and it is pity that these growers
do not have to eat them. A piece of well.
tarred marlne, fresh from Detroit fishing.
boat, would be about as tender and agree
able. Let US have rest for while from
this kind of vegetable excruciatioD.--Nelc
York Mdependent.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09
MATRIMONIAL CHECKERS.

| Up to three evenings ago such thing a
a checker board was never known in Mr.
Grattan's house. He and his aged partne
have managed to pass the long evening
very pleasantly. and he supposed they wer,
happy enough until friend from the Eas
paid them flying visit and asserted ove
and over again that the game of checker,
was not only all the rage there but that il
served to quicken the perceptve faculties
enlarge the mind and render the brain more
active. After giving the subject due thought
Mr.. Grattan walked down town and pur
chased a checker board, and when evening
came he surprised his good wife by bring.
ing it from the wood.sbed, and saying
well, Martha, we II have game or two
before we go over to the social. expect
to beat you all to flinders, but you won
care?
'Ofcourse not, and if beat you why you
won't care, she replied.
They sat down, and he claimed the first
move. She at once objected, but when he
began to grow red in the face she yielded
and he led of. At the fourth move she took
a man, chuckling as she raked him in.
l don't see anything to grin at, he sneer.
ed as he moved man backward
Here you can't move that way - she
called out.
4 can't eh? Perhaps never played
checkers before you we're born
She saw a chance to jump two more men
and gave in the point, but as she moved he
cried out
Put them men right back there I've
concluded not to move move backward, even
if Hoyle does permit itH
She gave in again, but when he Jump
ed man her nose grew red and she cried
out {:
4 didn't mean to move there, I was think
ing of the social =
Can't help the social, Martha we must
go by Hoyle.'
In about two minutes she jumped two
men and went into the king row, shout
ing:
Grown him! crown him ! I've got a
king =
'One would think by your childish actions
that you never played game BEFORE, he
growed out.
Il know enough to beat you =
You do, eh? Some people are awful
smart.
And some folks aint she snapped as the
king captured another man.
What in thunder are you jumping that
way for?
A king can jump any way =
NO he call'
Yes he can =
Don't talk back to me, Martha Grattan
l was playing checkers when you were in
the cradle
| don't care can jump two men which
ever way you move
He looked down on the board, saw that
such was the case, and roared out:
You've moved twice to my once ?
4 haven't.
I'll take my oath you have 7 can't
play against such blackleg practcesr
Who's a blackleg? You not only cheat
ed but you tried to lie out of itn
Board and checkers fell between them.
He could get on his hat quicker than she
could find her bonnet, and that was the on
y reason why he got out ofthe house first. A
Woodward avenue grocer found him sitting
on a basket of cranberries at the door as he
was closing up for the night, and asked
him if he was not waiting for his wife to
ocme along.
well, not exactly; stopped here to feel
in my pocket for the key of the barn.
shall sleep on the hay tonight, and see if
it won't cure this cold in my head De
trOH Free Press.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09
A LOOsing Joke.

\ prominent physician of Pittsburgh said
jokingy to lady patient who was COM
planning of her continued il-health and OF
his inability to cure her, "try Hop Bittersp'
The lady took it in earnest and used the
Bitters, from which she obtained permau.
ent heath, She now laughs at the doctor
for his joke, but he is not so well pleased
with it, as it cost him a good patient.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09
POetical.
OWED TO SPRING.

JOHN rnGsrxs orrSIoSs As GOOD As EVER.
Well, Spring, youv cum at last. hev you y
The polt SEE youv bin a-slttin' In old winters
Lap-now amt you ashamed OF yourselfg
sp0se the the fellers BIN a-bussin you;
should think he had from your breth
bein' so cod-but that's the way them
Old fellers hov a-doln
Well, as | was sayin'
Youv cum atlast eith your "bamy
Breath a.blowln' from the Northwes-
"esconstant or Nebrasky, spose.
Great countries for BAN reckin'.
Nov youv cum when
Evrebodis feed and Korn and things
liev all been fed out Now luck at
Our kritters, viii ye? See our Kat.
on the hft a-hcyen to be stcadied by
Thur tales when they gifts up a.mornings
Lux at our hos as watts all rejuced
10 skeletons a-weepln over troft:
hun troft fun of kob',
hui troft full OF bitter reckleckshunsl
Look at them shepe allen In
The fens corners a-waltln for grass
iis and they've bin a-waltin' some ov
Them week ! And IL they wasn't
Pud they'd bin "shakln their lox
Al yu an sed-U dun 1t " Crhat thur
Is from Hamlet, won OF ShaKspurs plais)
As another poit SEQ Grass rlfIused makes
The stumak AXE" So these shepe will
Never open the r onto gra agD-no.
See the shotes
lenin Oh the fens u squele
Lux at them NIFTY eres "a-hangin' pepdint"
onto such little hogs: See hundrid
sud shotes reJuced down to even
korn basket full
Yes, that thurs oil yer dolns, U
lardi' Ioiterin' Spring IA hargln' back
AS youN bin a-doin'!
But now youv cum
We feel your cheerin presenz wen we
Gilt round onto The south size oy the barn
we heer the hens kaklin' when they've
Laid egg We see tie horse radIsh
st1rting up alongside the gardl
Fens The wimmln Is a.lusiny into
Ih' Old tea pot after gardlng seeds.
Ana all these things make Ine think youy cum
Ef so be I've rlled
le' spring. a-showlng up ov yer shortcummings.
jest set 1t dONn to havin potts isens
(lho hahn taken wun out yet low toy
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09
RATES OF ADVERTISING.

/ yearly advertisements pay able quarterly. Tran
cnt advertisements must be paid for before inserted
except where parties have accounts.
Legal Advertisements two dollars per inc for three
Insertions and At that rate for additional insertions
without reference to length
Executors, Administrators and Auditors notices
three dollars. Must be paid for when Inserted.
transient or Local notices, twenty cents a line
regular advertisements half rates.
Cards in the "Business Directory" column, one
dollar per year for each line.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09
Columbia County OffciaI Directory

President 1udgc-Wllliam Elwell.
Ass.c .cltc Judgcs-I Krckbaum r. |. Shu,nan
pr1thunutury, &C.-Wlam KriCkbaum.
court Stcuu grnphcr-S. \. Walker.
R,rlstHr 10 Recjrder-WinamsOn II. Jacoby.
district Attorney Robert K. Little.
sutrII iOhn N. Holman.
Str5s. ur ,tn lsl Nhyhtrl
rr.aS ircr-H A. %weppenbclser.
~ amt ,silners stephen pOhC, Charles Richart
A. B. Herring.
t,n nit,ibilrs' glerlt-.T Il. Casey.
Atluur5-S. IT, Smith, ". Manning, G. H. See
ii.y commissioner sll Robbins, Theodore w
Smith, -
Cllutv 1perintendcnt-Wliam II. SNYDER
B,li u Poor District -DlreCtOr5-R. :. Ent, scott
Nin. kramer, bloomsbury and Thomas Reece
srO [,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09
CHURCH DIRECTORY.
uApTTgT CuTfRCu

NII L INNil A'ilNlINIphl
BAPTIST CHURCH.
Row. J. p. Tu5'n, (Supply)
sunday Services lug "A. IN. and 6N p. m.
SUNDAY SCHOOL, a. IN.
prayer Meeting Every Wednesday evening at G y
sea 5 free. The public are invited TO attend.
ST. MATHEWS LUTHERAN CHURCH.
Mlnis'er-Rev o. D. :. Marclay.
sunday Serviccs-l0% a. IN. and ~ p. m.
sunday SChOOl-9a. IN.
,'ra cr Nee iug-Every Wednesday evening at ~
seats free. Nopcws rented. All are welcome.
FRE-BYrERIAE CHURCH.
Mlnlsier-Rev. stuart MI chell.
sunday ServlCcS-lOE Il. la. and 6E p. m.
PRAYER Nee ng-Eyery Wednesday evening Al o.
Sea free. No pews rented. Strangers welcome,
METHODIST EPISCOPAL CHURCH.
Presiding Edcr-Rev. W. Evans
Musler-Rev NJ. l.. SmySer
SUNDAY Serylccs-luT and G]g p. IN.
B5a ,', Class Monday evening at oX o'clock.
Young Mems PRAYER Nee ing-Every Tuesday
General 1i prayer Meeting Thursday evening
REFORMED CHURCH.
Corner OF Third and Iron streets.
rastor-Rev. ". +. Krebs.
Nesldehce-Corner 4th and Calharlne slrects.
sunday Services-l0ll H. n and p. IN.
SInlav SCHOOL, "A. IN.
Frazer Mceting-Saturday, I p. IN.
All are invited There is always room.
ST. PAULs CHURCH.
Rector-Rey /, zahner
sunday SerViCeS-lO% u. M, ~ p. m.
sunday Schools a. IN.
First sun lay In the month, Holy Communion.
Services preparatory to Communion on Friday
evening before the st sunday In each month.
Pcws rented; but everybody welcome
EVANGELICAL CHURCH.
Presiding Eldrr-Rev. a. l.. Reeser
Nui-tcr-Rev. George Hunter
sunday Seryice-2 p. n in the Iron street Church.
Prl, er Meetng-Evcry sabbath at p. IN.
All are invited. Al are welcome.
THE CHURCH OF CHRIST.
Meets in 'tho ttle Brick church on the hill"
lot m
east # Iron.
Regular meeting tor worship, every Lords day af-
iernODn at SO o'clock.
seats rrec ana the public are cordially invited to
attend
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09

lfyour skin is yellow, or If you are troub.
led with Pimples and Boils, clesuse your
blood with DIR. Bulls Baltimore Pills. Price
only % cents
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09

Why should not ducks be allowed on doc.
tors premises because they make such
personal remarks.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09
PRICE 81 PER BOTTLE
Or Six Bottles for S..

Delivered toany address free from
observation.
"Patients'' may consult by letter
receiving the same attention as by
calling, by answering the following
questions
/. give your name and post-onice address,
county and state, and your nearest express onice
?. Your age and sex?
3. Occupation?
4. Married or single ?
3. Height, weight, now and In health?
o. How long have YOU been sick?
7. Your complexion, color Of hair and eyes?
s. Have you STOPPING or erect gait?
0. Relate witAOut reservation all you know about
your case. Enclose one dollar as consultation fee
Your letter will then receive our attention. and We
will give you the nature OF your disease ana our
candid opinion concerning cure.
Competent physicians attend to correspondents,
All letters should be addressed to Dlspensatory,
12i7, Flbert street. Philadelphia Pa.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09
BIoomsburg Official Directory.

President Of Town Councll-G. A. Herring.
Clork-puu h. Nlrt.
Chcf ~ i'lllcc-.laS. g. Stcrner.
President OF Gas COmpdny-S Knorr
Srcretarv--C. W. Miller.
HOO n-bdry Banking Company-John \. Funston,
President, II. II. GrOz, Cashier John Peacock, Tel
or.
rrs Va ional Bank-Charles r. Paxton resident
J. p. Tustin, cashier.
columbia County Mutual Saving Fund and Loan
AssDrl lIn-E. IL. Lit lie, President, c. W. Miller
secretary
BlomsDurg Building and Saving Fund Association
-Wm. Peacock, President i. Il. Robson, secretary
bloomsbury Mutual Saving Fund Associat lou-J.
brewer, Presiden, p. H. Writ, Secretary.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09
Dauchy & Cos. Advt's.

Q 0aQ returns IN 30 days on 500 invested or
y HUO nclal reports ana information FREE,
Like prOhts weekly ON stock options OF go tu $50.
st., y. Y. d April 2j, '79-4w
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09
HELMBOLD'S BUCHU
InyigOratps the stomach.

And stimulates the torpid Liver,
Bowels and Kidneys to healthy ac-
ton, in cleansing the blood of all
impurities, and imparting new life
and vigor to the whole system.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09

Headache, Pain in the Should
ers, Cough, Dizziness, Sour Stom-
ach, Eruptions, Bad Taste in the
Mouth, Palpitation Of the Heart,
Pain the region of the Kidneys.
and thousand other painful symp-
toms are the ofisprings Of dyspepsia,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09
NEW RICH BLOOD!

Parsons TurEativc Pnls make New Rich Blood
ana VIII completely change the blood In the entire
81 stem IN three months. Any person who viii take
pill each night from to " weeks may be restored
To sound health II such Thing be possible. sent BY
mail for letter stamps
D. =. johnson \ 90. Bangor, Maine
April %, 'I9-4w
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09
BFNsoN'S CAPCINE
Il IL Porous PLASTER.
NATIONAL LIFE

Is the title Of a new Pamphlet Of pages II con-
tanS the biography OF AL IN" Presidents Of the nj
ted states from Washington 10 Hayes with their
portraits 90 In all) engraved eNpIesS for this work
also " portraits OF canadian nOtahllities The Ma
tlOnal Life Will be sent TO any address by mail on
receipt OF ct stamp Address IL, X. STEVENS, BOs-
ton Mass. May !, T9-4w
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09

A single trial will bequite sufh-
cient to convince the most hesitat-
ing Of its valuable remedial quail
ties.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-05-09

JOHN rnGsIxs OPINIONS, AS GOOD As EVER.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-12-01

makes practice of notifying rival publica-
tions in Chicago of important news passing
over the wire to the Times issued another
communication, "To Editors" last
night, giving them permission to copy the
Presidents Message from the Sunday
Times, a freak of generosity on his part
which will be duly appreciated. Besides
this favor he takes occasion to lament over
the premature publication" as 1t isstyled,
and endeavors to paralyze few impecunious
concerns by predicting that hereafter all
communications to Congress will be sub
mitted in manuscript, thus delaying re-
ports and largely increasing the expense OF
obtaining news
MIR. Smiths remarks are presumptuous
to say the least of them. There was noth-
ing premature" in the publication BY the
Times of Secretary Sherman's report and
the Presidents message. Both were trans
mitted by telegraph in the regular course
OF business, no confidence being violated or
unfair means employed in securing them
The same enterprise which made the early
publication of these documents possible
this year will probably bring about the
same results in the future. There are ex-
cellent reasons for believing that the Gen.
eral Agent of the Western Associated Press
Is dangerous and inipertinent meddler.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-12-01
Shadows Of Coming Eventa

Mr.. Andrew Rheinhardt, of 629 Vine
street. celebrated his namesday yesterday
St. Andrews Day.
The Caledonian Society will tonight cele-
brate st. Andrews Day, by giving its fifty
sec''nd annual reunion and banquet, at the
Burnet House.
The Archaeological lectures by Miss
Alice G. Fletcher open Tuesday afternoon.
December I'd. in College Hall, over the
Mercantile Library, on Walnut street.
The Friendly Sons of st. Patrick will give
minstrel performance on the 30th of De-
cember, for the benefit of the needy suffer-
ers of Ireland. 1t will be after the style
of the Xylanthraxs.
County Commissioner B. Frank Hop
kins the newly-elected member in place of
Herman Ficke. whose term has expired,
took his seat this morning. Mr.. Joseph M.
Reardon is now President of the Board.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-12-01
aS- CINCINNATI. OHIO. November 2stA

S CINCINNATI, OHIO. November 18th,
1879-DAvE G. oHNsroN-Dear Sir: Ny at-
tention having been called to an advertise
ment in the daily papers regarding my
holding ticket of the Louisiana State Lot
terry which drew prize. wish to state
that the rumor was set afoat by parties un-
known to me, and as joke fostered the
same until l see 1t is about to hurt your
Company, which l consider as honest -
any Lottery Company; therefore, wish -
state, as far as know never held the tich-
ct you refer to. Although the runsns
started with the intention Of injurins =
beneftlng no one, 80 far as know. it has,
without being sought for. won a prize to
ME worth more than $4,000.
Wishing your Company the same suc-
cess as always, remain your obedient SER
want, FRANK E. KAISER,
No. 140 Abigail street
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-12-01
City Commissioner

John Russell, contractor for the improve
ment OF Blue Rock street from Spring
Grove avenue to Hamilton Pike, asked that
the sum of $105 charged to him for an in
spec ion Of said improvement be refunded
to him. Referred t. the Engineer.
The claim of ]. H. Romer for $595 for
damage done his property at Third and
Collard streets was compromised by the
Board paying Romer 500.
An ordinance to establish the grade Of
Beech street from Lane street to Orchard
street was transmitted to Council.
Permission was granted J. Walker 4 Co.
to widen Jail alley at their own expense.
A protest from large number of prop
erty-owners on Race street between Fnurth
and Twelfth streets against the c ,nstruc-
ton of street railroad OH said st, set was
referred to the Committee on Railroads.
An ordinance to assess special tax on
real estate bounding Fsirview avenue from
Zigzag avenue to the south line of Lot 900,
Riddles Subdivisions was transmitted to
Council.