The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1879-03-13
"This gentleman had his hair trim
med down in Maine.n


med down in Maine.n
There was a general burst of merri-
ment all over the shcp, and the appren-
tice laid down the brush be was wash
ing and came over to look at the Maine
cut, that he might never forget it. |
surrendered. "Trim it q little. then, ~
| | groaned, "but in the name of human
ity, don't cut it any shorter.n
"No," the barber said, "he wouldn'
make it a hairs breadth shorter.''
When l left that shop, if it hadn't
been for my ears, my hat would have
fallen down clear on my shoulders
When l reached the hotel, every body
stared, and couple of men got up and
read handbill on the wall, descriptive
of a convict who had recently escaped
from Sing Sing, and, looked from the
| bill to myself very intently. That night
several Of the audience drew revolvers
as | came out on the platform.
Then | went to AmstensAm, N. Y.
The barber of that sleepy village, who,
| in the interval of his other duties acts as
Mayor of the town and edits the local
papers, undertook to shave me with a
piece of hoop-iron he pulled out of his
bootleg. When resisted, he went out
into the kitchen and came back with a
kitchen-knife and can opener, and of.
cred me my choice. selected the can
opener, and he began the massacre, re-
marking incidentally that he used to
keep good sharp spoke-shave for his
particular customers, but he had lost it.
Then he said my hair needed trimming,
very badly. l protested that it was inn
possible; it had been trimmed three
ti.hes within ten days, and was as short
now as business man on the 1st of
January.
"Oh," he said, it wasn't too short,
and besides there wasn't no style about
it at all" He could give it some shape,
however, he said, without making it any
shorter.
So 1 surrendered and told him to
shape it. And if that fore-doemed,
abandoned, Amsterdam son of an oak
um-picker didn't 60 out into the wood
shed and come back with rusty old
horse-rssp and begin to file away what
little hair had left. He allowed few
shreds and patchessto remain, however,
clinging here and there to my scalp in
ghostly loneliness. Irather feared that
my appearance that evening would Gre
ate panic, but it did not. l observed
that the majority of the audience had
their heads ''shaped up'' after the same
manner, and were rather pleased with
my conformity to the local custom and
style.
Well, Tgot along to Cory, Pa, and
rushed in for shave and got it, in one
timesand two motions
"Hair trimmed, sirp" the barber
said.
I supposed he was speaking sarcasti-
cally, and SO laughed, but very feebly,
for | was getting to be little sensitive
on the subject of my hair, or rather, my
late hair. But he repeated his ques-
ton, and said that it needed triHifhlng
very badly. told him that was what
allied it, it had been trimmed to death;
why, | said, my hair had been trimmed
FIVE times during the pastsl3 days, and
l was afraid it wouldn't last much lon
ger.
"Well," he said, s it was hardly the
thing for man of my impressive APP
pearance, who would naturally attract
attention the moment entered room
q have to stand on mytiptoes and hold
on with both hands to look over the
back Of car-seat) to go around with
such head of hair, when he could
straighten it out for me in rninute.''
l told him to go ahead, and closed
my eyes, and wondered what would
come next.
That fellow took pair of dentists
forceps and 'pulled" every lock Of hair
had left.
There,' he said proudly, .now
when your hair grows out it will grow
out even."
l was little dismayed at first when
/ looked at my glistening poll, but after
all it was relief to know that the end
was reached, and nobody could torment
me again to have my hair trimmed for
several weeks. But when got shaved
at Ashtahula, the barber insisted on put
tying up the holes, and giving my head
a coat of shellac. I yielded, and my
head looked like vanished globe with
the maps left off. Two days after sat
in barber's chair at Mansfield. The
barber shaved me silently. Then he
paused. with bottle poisedin his hand,
and said:
"Shampoo?"
answered him with look. Then
he oiled my hairless globe and bent over
it for moment with q hairbrush. Then
he said:
"On which side do you part your
hair?r