Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1879-10-16
FUNNYGRAPHS.
WOMAN's NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..

In pedestrian matches the dispositio,
OF the gate money depends entirely unor
the gait. NfOu
A DEAD secret-What has become =,
A. I. Stewards body Pr Cincinnati a.
zette.
STRANGE that the more money vor
give organ-grinder the more cranky bs
becomes. NC
CANNIBALIsM prevails in Boston
whose inhabitants eat baked bein's|
Cincinnati Commercial.
WHERE there's smoke there's sOmo
fire, and very often a mighty poor clos,
- Wheeling Sunday Leader.
WHEN card-players disagree .bsr
should pour Hoyle on the troubled
waters.-Philadelohia Bulletin.
We presume the axletrees of railroad
car wheels are called journals because Of
their rapid circulation Boston Tran.
script.
A RECENT obituary notice says: "Mr
Smith was an estimable citizen. He
died with perfect resignation. He had
recently been married."
WHEN the landlady puts up the price
of board, the fourth floor, back tenant
performs the same operation with his
watch.
JosH BILLINGS remarks: az don't
take any chances. If wus called upon
to mourn over dead mule, | would
stand in front ov him and do mi weep.
ing"
AN exchange says: Railway sleep.
ers in this country require 10000 acres
of timber year." This will be news to
Pullman car conductors.-New Orleans
Picayune.
"YoUR son, madam, persists in doing
nothing" says the director. "Then,'
replies the woman, by no means discon.
certed, "you should give him the prize
for perseverance" B
STRANGE to say, wagon goes best u
when its wheels are thoroughly tired
Albany Journal What felloe told you i
that old joke? 1t would have never been
repeated in the Hub.
FEMALE guest" Don't you know any
better than to walk into my room with.
out rapping? You see | am all IN
dressed" Servant-"Oh! you needn't
excuse yourself, mum; l don't mind"
The man who can make an even trade
of the garden rake for a new snow shove!
about now is level-headed and will some
day be heard of among the great fnan.
ciers of the country. Detroit Free Press.
SETH GREEN thinks all brook trout
Al ,,,,ln~ .,,obac should hp "
thrown back. But who ever knew OF
brook trout weighing less than half
pound to be captured.-8. Albans Adver- \
tiser. 81
On the wrong side of the "bridge," 81
Master" What is the first step in this r.
problem?" Pupil John ABB" Mas
ter" What next?" Pupil" Rub II
out again" (Tableau, during which the
cane is fourished. )-Judy.
A WRITER in London Truth discusses
the queer question els Dinner MIS-
tske?' We should say that dinner IS a
matter of-course-wssn not MISTAKE
Albcny Journal. That is right, always
give dinner its dessert.
WHAT is the difference between
dairy maid and stormy petrol? we
skins the milk and the other SKINS Tue
water.-Ne,o Haven Register. we oonh
even now, quite see the diterence'-
Boston Post.
SNoDKINs (who has not been at new
London, to Holworthy, who mas,
" You saw the race, how was it! Hardi!
contested, eh2" Holworthy-"Haral!
contested? Yes, very much So 50, Wy
it was hardly contested at all -n"
card Lampooa.
JAMES GORDON BENEFITS income
from the Herald is said to be sl,5oV pei
dsy. But for the benefit OF those soou'
embarking in the newspaper business
we would say that they must not eAP sss
to make more than 81 900 day tor 'n'
first year.-Albany Journal IN
SOME boys undertook to play base Oal
in Geld where a ram was teeding m
Gently. He butted the short swR
through a picket fence and forced ~ ~
the rest to make home run. Inc W!
who was butted through the renee r
the only one who scored, and ne caii'''
the score with him. II.
LORD COCKBURN WAS sea.eu ono,ehA
on the hillside of Bonally with ocos ~.
shepherd, and observing the she ea n
posing in the coolest situation, nc -
served to him, "John, if | were sHs.
7 would lie on the other side OF the MI,
The shepherd answered, "Ay, my Iva IVA
but if We had been a sheep ye wac hA'1
had mair sense" ,ooh
A NEW boy at Twelfth ward scn r,;I.
diverted the minds of the othei p0pt
from their books by munching Pe s;n' I'll
whereupon the teacher relieved a, IN Next