Litchfield enquirer., 1879-05-15
CLIPPINGS.

CLIPPINGS.
 In London the ritualists advertise Three Hours Agony Service"
 One's fzzical condition will soon require a return to soda water.
 Pugwash is the named of place of some con- sequence in Nova Scotia
 ''M0ne moi for me it is in vane, "is the in sc-IpiiOn on Columbus City gravestone. Dent hang around corners It has been known to lead to dangling on beam.
 \ tramp has one satisfaction: when the Lord seems to des'rt him the police will take hisn un
 TileTr are no tramps As Charles Francis U.,i-
 when feI!ow ate olives for ihe first time he wanted |" k1n'r what ;n thunder was the nsaster with Jh~n piu::,s
 Niagara hacknrn are preparing for the in- fax oi BexIy married people who never pre- tes charges
 Great htavcsS," he murmured, as the dealer nzmesi the price, Il don't want whole strawberry: only want a small slice off the rgsund D"
 The penalty of lying in Siam is to have the mouth sewed up Subscriptions for the pur- pose of sending Eli Perkins to Siam will be re- c-ivei ai this office.
 PaIrick-'And Biddy, darlint, they've been tellin' me there's too many of us in the wurrld. Now, if you and me get the praste to make us two wan, troth won't there be wan the lessf" My Souls at the Gate" is the title of new piece of music. He had better be care full or he may find the old mans sole at the gate. tOo. some of these fine evenings.
 In the pathetic little poem published the other day for the lIne, 70. sister. mourn not for your dad" please read ''Oh, sister, mourn not for your dead '"
 My father. what is an Israelite?"
 My son. an Israelite is a rich Jew"
 And what is Jew, my father :''
 "A poor Israelite '
 Suspender buttons have their uses, but the man who, having just felt outside his vest pocket, went for a small plate of hash. was gricvously deceived by one of these useful articles.
 A single seat in drawing room car between New York and Boston now costs but one dol lar, although it is a matter that doesn't interest us.
 Oh" said the afflicted wife. weeping over his body, ''he said he would take off his fan nels anyway. and. poor man, he little thought how soon he would go to that place where tiannes never needed
 Iowa has two hundred and twenty four brass bands Now we under stand the drift of aAs -sola Iol n,,t look, which recently appeared in an Iowa pa- per.
 An editor has one advantage oAer king. When the editor goes out riding in his open barouche drawn by four milk white steeds he is never shot by a socialist. You have proba- ally remarked this yourself.
 Some meu never lose their presence of mind In Ney York man threw his mother-in-aw out of window in the fifth story of a burning building and carried feather bed down stairs in his arms.
 A newly married lady was telling another how nicely her husband could write. "Oh, you should just see some of his love letters '' ''Yes, know, was the frezing reply, 'sI've got bnshel of 'em in my trunk
 The present plan adopted by churches of making contributions by envelopes enables a
 
 per cents into the basket with as much style and flourish as if they were trade dollars al par.
 A pickpocket taken with his hand in som, one else's pocket endeavored to invent all man ner of impossible explanations of the phenom enon. Whats the use of your trying to Ii, about it so clumsy?" saitl the magistrate, be nevelently; ''haven't you lawyer?"
 Indignant father to his son. whose picture has not even been skied at the academy
 ''You're uce artist. Here you are forty. five years old Christmas week, and yet no pic. ture of yours has ever been received"
 But, sir'-
 Silence, sir Don't you presume to but, sir, me- Sir, at your age Raphael had oeen dead for ten years"
 Oh this wicked, wicked world! The other day we lifted 8 couple of Bridgeporters into fame by noting the fact that they went to Step ney and caught sixteen fine trout. Now WI learn that they met Monroe man on tn, stream and bought all but two of the lot Ar, all our dolls stuffed with sawdust. Standard At the Police Court The Judge-What ii your age, madam? Lady-Whatever ye, please your honor Judge-Forty five years Your business2 Lady-Hold on minute your honor you've made a mistake of tel years in my age. Judge-Well, then, fifty five years. Lady Quriously)-I tell you sir oh my oath, Pm only thirty five. Judge-Ah so yeu have finished by answering my ques tion.
 These are times when the truly good deacol feels called upon to hunt up some poor, friend . less, little boy, and take him to the show t. see the animals And presently, when yo, go in yourself-lo! there sits the good man il the front row, mopping the admiration iron his brow, and cheering the lady that flop through the paper hoops