Connecticut western news., 1879-04-23
WIT AND WISDOM.

The shad is the Bonypart of the fnny tribe. ..,s
 -Parlor matches -courting in the front room. ... ...
 The more you like man the better you know him. --s.I-
 You'll not sweeten your mouth by saying "honey." Clubs are good for men who make home happy by staying away from 1t.
 -"I've enjoyed this tete-G-tete," as the COW said when the milkmaid left her. An Owego, N. Y,, woman calls her husband mucilage, because he is such stick.
 Faith is necessary to noble life. The man who believes nothing is apt to do nothing. ...
 People do not reflect that they may soon die. If they did their quarrels would quickly terminate.
 The police of New York are being vaccinated. But what's the use of it; they never catch anything.
 In everything the consent of all na- tions is to be accounted the law of nature, and to resist it is to resist the law of God.
 A lie is like a fish out of water. It may wriggle and flop and make great fuss, but if you let it alone it will die of itself. ..-. The youth who leaves off his over coat to enjoy balmy spring is helping pay off the mortgage on his doctors house.
 True friendship is plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand many shocks of adverslty before it is entitled to the appellation. Whose will feel the tenderest par ticipation in joy let him not look at happy children, but at the parents who i rejoice to see them happy.
 Tt was wise man who said, che IS passing rich who can number friends enough for iury-who can lose two or three and not be bankrupt"
 One of the saddest and most vexa- tiaus trials that come to girl when she marries is that she has to discharge her mother and depend upon hired girl.
 There can be no surer way to suc- cess than by disclaimlng all confidence i in ourselves, and referring the events of things to God with an implicit alliance.
 The Danielsonville Sentinel says ii there is any time in mans existence when life insurance seems appropriate It is just before he attempts to break 8 colt.
 The wisest men have generally built up their reputation by keeping their
 mouths shut. Let men who buy rags
 and sell fish regard this as personal
 item.
 ! Ideas. as ranked under names, are
 those that, for the most part, men req
 son of within themselves, and always
 those which they commune about with
 others. n.H.-s LA man." said one of the Jewish fathers, "should be prepared for death | the day before but as he does not know when that day is, he should always be
 prepared"
 Why do fish weigh more in propor- l tion than other things of equal size and 3 solidity? Because when they are weighed l the weight of the scales always has to 7 be counted in. t A club of unmarried ladies in Bos-
 ton have been discussing the question,
 els the average husband brute ?"
 Now, two questions present themselves: ,t 1. What can they possibly know about IT itp 9. What can they possibly care V about it?
 ,r Strange that there are men occupy d ing high positions in business and so- le ciety who do not know how to read. m This remark is suggested by seeing the IS number of intelligent-loo men una- or ble to decipher the mystic legend, IS "Please shut the door P 1t She was a lady passenger in one of 'h the transfer coaches which run from the lg Shoo-Fly depot, and after becoming lg tired of keeping still, she turned to the ly driver and asked: "How much further Id does this horrid hill un?" John re- m piled '" Clear to the bottom, madam. '' m At recent scholarship examination ly in Rangoon candidate replied to the of question, "What is liberty of the sub-
 ject ?" "To be able to eat as much as
 you like of good dinner" At a former
 examination lad defined the chief feed h. CTS of the Irrawaddy as tigers, ele lie plants, buffaloes, and alligators. ne Comfort, Silence, and Patience were 1g the names of a brother and two sisters he in New England village. A gentleman te called to see Comfort. His sire said as "He is not at home, but if you will sci ht down with Patience and wait with Si to lence, Comfort will come soou," Silence er died the other day at the age of eighty he Cham, the French caricaturist, 1T eel one of his recent sketches represents two ny painters, pencil in hand, discussing ,d. figure on canvas which only lacks a head. "It is the portrait of minis He ter" says one. "Yes," adds the second nk "but they change so often thatL hav He not the time to catch the facial expres
 <ion" El5.sss