The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1879-04-10
"PASS THE PERFESH ."
How N Manager Made Flight Against n
Pair OF DeadbeaIs.

| n
Pair OF Deadbeass.
Chicago Times.
John Schofeld, LOtts's msnager. was
Standing in the street entrance OF Hoo
ley's the other evening. contemplating
with extreme satisfaction the procession
that was passing into the house, when
ais attention was especially drawn to
Two youpg men with noisily checkered
ulsters and enormous diamonds, who
were comforting in some earnestness with
the junior Hooley, who presides at the
box office. Want a pass, suppose,
thought he. "Don't get it this trip, all
the same" Presently he saw the treas
urer point him out, and directly after
the pair approached.
"Ssy, your name Schoheld2 ?" asked
one of them. " Yes, sir"
care you the manager of this here
show?" eyes"
"Do you pass the perfesh ?" "The
WHAT"
"The perfesh." "What's that ?"
"Aw, don't screw yourself too high.
Do you pass the perfesh ?" " Do you
mean tine profession?
"Why cert - the perfesh." That
depends. Who are you?"
We're McGlannahan and McGlab-
berty." "What do you do?"
Each instantly put a hand to the
others shoulder, and danced three or
tour steps as they sang:
Obi l hate to tell,
But then mustI
winding up by suddenly raising their
hats and striking an attitude.
"Song and dance men, are you? Sorry,
but l can't pass yju."
Wh-w-well, I'll be blamed" said
one, incredulously astOnished. "You
don't pass the perfesh ?''
Why" explained Mr.. schofeld, al
can't let you in-I'm turning people
away from the house that want to pay
money to get in. How do you sup
pose l can afford to give you ROOM 2"
"Then you won't pass us?" Mo-
"That settles it. Your names SchO-
field, is it p producing piece of psper.)
es, my names Schofeld."
"Got pencil? Lemme tsKe it." Mr..
Schofeld let him take it.
d" How do you spell that there ungOdly
name of yours ?" preparing to note the
spelling.) "S-c-h-o-f-i cid, Schofeld."
"S-k-o-w-. DO you know what
Pm goin' to do?' mo"
Pm going to give it to you in the
perfesh. Pm goin' to write you up
strong and send it to my friend Frank
Queen, of the Clipper"
"Ohl You are, are your And
hereabout Mr.. SehOfeld began to look
extraordinarily quiet.
eyes, am. Sk-o-hue! can't
spell your beastly old name-write it
down yerself. 1 want to get it just
right. 1 want to let you have it SO
nobody'll be able to mistake it."
Gimme that paper and pencil" said
Mr.. Scbofeld, with sudden energy.
"Tll write it for you, plain enough.
There p (writing against the wall
81. &. Schofeld, bigswd. Therel Send
that wherever you ike, and tell 'em l
don't pass ham-fatters nor beats, in the
periesh or gu of it. Dye heal ?''
"All right. You'll hear from US
sgsin."
''Not il 1 can helpit, I won't"
'FThe dod banged BEATS" solIloquized
Schofeld, when they had gone. Dog
lam .heir cheek. Write me up. will
they! Dod-lsm their optiosw
Mr.. Hooley called him up stairs at
this iuncture, ard the incident was soon
forgotten. Half an hour lster, Mr..
Nichols stopped him at the door. "Mr.
SchOfeld, thought you were giving no
passes this week"
81 amt"
"Wen," look at this. A couple of
glue>brothers brought this in little
while ago."
Mr.. Schofeld looked at it. There was
no mistskiug the trick, The gentlemen
of "the periesh" had taken his wrath
fully-given signature and written over it
the simple preface Pass Two"
"Where are they now ?" he asked.
Inside. Shall fetch them out ?"
"NOt by any means. Go take them
into one of the boxes, and send 'em q
quart bottle at my expense"
A Carnival Trick.