Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-12-17

OLD maids laughter-HeI heg he!
IKE line Of beauty is not the crino
line.-Bostos Globe,
THE ulster covers multitude OF last
winters suits.-R0me Sentinel.
He said his hair was dyed, and when
she Indignantly exclaimed, "'Tis falsep'
ne said he presumed 80.
| WHEN woman promenades the
streets leading dog, it looks as if she
couldn't get anything else on her string.
The oleander blossom is favorite
Hover with women whose hair and com
plexlon forbid their wearing buttercups.
peoples and daisies.
"DEAREsT, let me correct vour
morals: You address aRe, MY dearest
Maria, Am | to suppose yau to have
other Marias7''
A HARD-woRKING girl, who was re-
Gently married in Groton, N. Y, bought
the groom's wedding clothes, paid fhe
marriage fee and all other expenses.
To saw and split wood, carry water,
coal, and wood, pillow, harrow and thresh,
and in cities sweep the streets, are, says
the Berlin Iagaoacht, among the avoca-
lions OF German woman.
NINE out of every ten women in
America buy their hair instead of raising
1t. such state of affairs should not
exist in country that annually spends
thousands of dollars for the support of
an agricultural bureau.
MRS. LANGTRY is described as having
been in her girlhood, Ga lovely little
creature with floating golden hair, who
used to dash about the island of JERSEY
on her little pony in a most daring
fashion,"
A YOUNG lady in New York was mar
ried the other day in the wedding gown
OF her grandmother, made seventy years
ago, WITHOUT any alteration; and 30 SIM
liar were the styles no one knew but it
was new one, "made for the occasion"
| A YOUNG man who held "a loaded
horse-pistol to his head and threatened
to blow his brains out unless the girl who
refused him would consent to have him.
was coolly told by the young lady that
he would have to blow some brains into
his head first.
The girls, bless 'em, not content with
| rosy-red cheeks, have now taken to wear
ing red mittens, and they keep their soft
white hands so very, very warm, that
the danger of ''getting the mitten" is
| reduced to a mininum.-Neu Havez
Register.
Now is the time of the year when the
young bride fondly gazes at seven fish
knives, a pair of sugar tongs, napkin
ring and clock, and sweetly whispers
to the wedding guests that 8" the other
presents are not displayed, owing to the
wishes of the givers, who hate publicity.
The last way of using q cashmere
shawl is to make it into a piano cover.
1t is festooned across the front of the
J instrument In a graceful fashion that
( suggests the undertaken rather than the
upholsterer and is carelessly looped at
| the back.
A woMAN's safeguard is to keep
mans hands off her. If you need his
assistance in walking, take his arm in
stead of allowing him to take yours.
lust tell him in plain English to !" Hands
off," He may not like it at first, but he
Olive Logan.
A VERY beautiful lady who was hur-
rying through the streets of Baltimore
turned and in pathetic accents asked
gentleman walking beside her to knock
pickpocket down who was following
her. TIE gentleman obligingly complied.
As soon as she saw the fight fairly begun
she chuckled gayly and skipped away.
The man knocked down was her husband.
TIE following incident happily illus
trates delicate subject. It originates
with the Boston Courier, but is none the
worse for that A popular clergyman
was greatly bored by lady who admired
him without reserve. "Oh, my dear
Mr.. -" said she, last Sunday after
noon, "there isn't any harm in any one
loving ones pastor, is thereT Ger
tainly not, madam" replied the worthy
cleric, "not the least in the world, so long
az the feeling is not reciprocated."
THE Watkins Erpress thinks women
who prefer to take the chances of sup
porting themselves instead of marrying
worthless louis, and supporting them
and helpless children into the bargain,
are entitled to as much respect as any
other portion of a community and should
not be made targets of by itinerant lee
turers or any body else. Thss is in reply
to the Rev. Mr.. Affiick, who attempted
to be funny at the expense of "old
maids" in recent lecture at Watkins.
LONDON Truth thinks that English
girls are too gushing and talkative, or
else have nothing else to say for them
selves, while American girls unite the
tact and SAVIOR of French women with
the stolid qualities of the Anglo-Saxon
race. They know how to set off their
natural advantages with dress, are
philosophically good tempered, and are
favorites with wife seeking Engishmen,
says that paper.
Two octogenarians on what was re-
garded as their bridal tour were deserted
on the cars near Rutland, VT, one day
last week. They were Amos Parker,
the New Hampshire poet, and his bride,
formerly Miss Julia Smith, of Connecti-
cut. The marriage ceremony was cele-
brated last March, just after Miss Smith
had passed her eightieth birthday, and
] the groom was only q few years her