St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-04-04
SQuibs.

Delilah was first female barber
Cincinnati Commercial.
There is cold weather ahead Stick
to your tiannels till they stick to you
Boston Post.
l think l must have rich vein of
humOr, said Jones, after his eighteenth
boil put in an appearance.
A suggestion for Sunday-see how a
gold piece will sound striking the bot
tom of Il contribution box.
An old judge told young lawyer
that he would do well to pick some of
the feathers from the wings of his
Imagination and stick them into the
tail of his judgment.
"What is the reason" said an Irish
man to another, ''that you and your
wife are always disagreeing ~ "Be-
cause" replied Pat, eve are both Of one
mind-she wants to be master, and so
do l."
In struggling to make a dull-brained
boy understand what conscience is,
teacher finally asked, ''What makes
you feel uncomfortable after you have
done wrong 2" ''Father's leather strap"
feelingly replied the boy.
A conductor on the Maine Central
railroad while trying to awaken a sound
sleeper in order to get his ticket, the
other day, pulled at his leg, when to
his horror it came off. But it was a
wooden one, and the damage was easily
righted.
A rather fussy diplomatist left his
card for Admiral Goldsborough, u. S.
N, inscribed E. P. in the corner, and
on meeting the admiral he said: 81
hope you got my card ?" "Oh, yes
but what the devil is the meaning of
E. p. on it ~ "Oh, en- personne." Soon
after the diplomat received the ad-
miral's card, inscribed S. B. N, and in
turn asked for an Interpretation. "Sent
by nigger," explained the admiral.
A writer of style says: ''It is the
fashion in France for ladies to take
their tea in bonnets and gloves" One
objection to this is that some of the
new bonnets do not hold much more
than a lump of sugar.-Picayune.
A wealthy but illiterate man, who
was advised by his architect to build his
suburban residence in the Tudor style,
replied: 81 don't want two doors. One
door will do for me. My family is
small, and there'll be less to lock up"
When the Confederate army was on
its shortest rations General Lee remOn-
strated one day with a straggler for
eating green persimmons, and asked
him if he did not know they were unfit
for food. "Fm not eating them for
food, General" replied the man, "but
for the sake of drawing my stomach up
to fit my rations."
An Albany florist is endeavOring to
arrange match between a Virginia
creeper and scarlet runner.
Strawberries come high when the
bottoms of the boxes are too near the
top.
ga schOOlmaster tells the following
story: Il was teaching in a quiet
country village. The second morning
OF my session had leisure to survey my
surroundings and among the furniture
espled three-legged stool. "Is this
the dunce-blOck 7" l asked little girl
OF hve. suppose so the teacher al
ways sits on it." The stool was unoc-
cupied that term.
Query? Did she mean to obeyP 1t
appears that he said, ''Tell her to 90 to
the devil ~ And she said she "would
consult lawyerw OLIVER Cameron.) y
Boston AdUertiSer.
This is the walking year; the uext
VIII be leap year. Camden Post.
The man who tears another's coat
down the middle should be made to
pay up for back rent.-NeW Orleans
Picayune. ''''0
"lf man has no views of his own.n
says the New Orleans Picayune, che
should buy few of the stereoscopic
kind"
Now in the bog, the frisky frog
Begins to croak and sing
Wmie on the scene with smile serene
Br1ght beams the balmy spring
AND nd in the pond, a step beyond,
The ducklings are at play;
While in the barn, with shril alarm
| The hens sing out their Law
-Hdckensack Republican