West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1879-09-27
Jenkins Goes 70 "a Picnic.

Maria Ann recently resolved TO 70 to a
picnic. Maria Ann is my wife, unfortu-
natcly She had determined 60 40 alone 50
far rs | was concerned. ON that picnic cN-
Cursion; but when heard about il deter
mined To assist. She pretended that she
was very glad, hut don't believe that she
was
1t will Go YOU good To get away from
your work a day, poor fellow ,' she said,
''Und we shall 50 much enjoy cool morn.
ing ride i'm the cars, and dinner in the
grove
ON the morning of that day, Maria Ann
gpt up at five o'clock About three min
utcs later she disturbed my slumbcrs. and
told me 20 come tO breakfast. | told her
wasn't hungry but it didn't make any
difference, had to get mp. The sun was
up | had no idea that the sun began
business 50 early in the morning but there
hc was
"Now, ~ said Maria Ann, ''wc must tlv
around, for the cars start at half-pasl six.
Eat all the breakfast you can, for YOU won't
get anything more before noon -
could not cat anything at that time in
che morning, and it was well that I could
not, for | had all | could do. There was ice
To be pounded, To 20 round the pail of ice
cream, and the sandwiches to Ice cut, and
thought | never shoHld get the legs of the
chickens placed SO that could get the Gov
cr on the basket. Maria flew around and
picked mp groceries for me 90 pack, giving
directions TO the girl about taking care of
the house, and putting ON her dress all at
once. There is "a deal of energy IN that
woman perhaps a trihc too much.
At twenty minutes past six | stood ON
the front steps, with IA basket ON one arm,
and Maria Ann on the other, aud pail i'm
each hand, and bottle of vinegar i'm my
coat skirt pocket. There was "a camp-chair
hanging on me somewhere, too, but FOR
get just where.
"Now,' said Maria Ann, "wc must
run.
"Mara Ann, - said |, that is AN unrcas-
enable idea How do you suppose / can
run with all this freight i''
"Iou must, you brute You always
try to tease me. If you do not want "A
scene on the streets, you will start too. D." So
| ran.
had one comfort, at least Maria fell
down ana broke her parasol. She called
me brute because laughed She drove
me all the way TO the depot ON "A brisk trot,
and we got on the ears, but neither of us
could get a seat, and | could not Law the
things down, so | stood there and held
them.
maria said I in winning accents,
chow is this for cool morning ridci"
SAID she, you are a brute, jenkins
said !, my love, you have made that
observation before
! kept my courage up. yet knew there
would be an hour of wrath when | got
home. While we were getting out of the
cars, the bottle in my pocket got broke, and
consequently | had one boot half full of
vinegar all day. That kept me pretty quiet
and Maria Ann ran off with big -whskarcd
music teacher. lost her fan and tore her
dress, and enjoyed herself much after the
fashion of picnic gocrs. | thought it never
would come dinner time; and Maria called
me IA pig because | wanted 10 open our bas-
ket before the rest of the baskets were
opened.
At last dinncr-time camc-thc "nicc din
ncr in the woods, you know. over three
thousand little red ants had got into our
dinner, and they were worse to pick out
than fish-bOnes. The ice cream had melt
ed, and there was no vinegar for the cold
meat, except what was in my boot, and Of
course that was no immediate use. The
music teacher spilled cup Of coffee on
Mara head, and pulled all the frizzles out
trying to wipe of the c ,iTec with his hand
kerchicf. Then ! sat on raspberry
pic and spoiled my pants, and concluded
didn't want anything more. had 20 stand
up against a tree the rest Of the afternoon.
The day afforded considerable variety, com
pared with every day life; but there was
80 many drawbacks that we did not enjoy
1t 80 much as we might have done