The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1879-06-06
A STORY WITH A MORAL,

Kentucky, DIR. James L. Hibbard, the pres
ident, gave an able address on "The Nerve"
which is printed in full iD the american
Practitioner. BY way Of illustration, he
told the following good story of doctor
who, in treating nervous patient, resorted
to what was perhaps, under the circum.
stances, justifiablo deception, but who did
not afterwards discreetly Keep the matter
to himself, as he should have done:
An acute young surgeon in England was
summoned to visit very wealthy single
lady, far advanced in years, who had for u
year been suffering from an alleged bristle
of her toothbrush that had fastened itself
in her throat. She stated that she had
consulted the eminent surgeons of London,
but they had uniformly assured her, after
critical inspection, that she was only the
victim of nervous delusion, that her throat
was perfectly healthy, that the disturbance
was only in her Imagination. "And so they
go, the stupid, obstinate, perverse, unfeel.
ing creatures" concluded the poor lady,
Saying there is nothing sshe matter with
me, while l am dying, dying" The sur
geon caught his cue, and was equal to the
occasion, and after examining her throat
with much delibcration announced that she
was quite right-Sir Benjamin Brodie and
Sir James Clark were mistaken he could
see the head of the bristlc low down, almost
out of sight, and if she would permit, he
would run home, get his instruments, and
extract it instantly. Certainly that WIS
the very thing she was longing for. The
surgeon presently returned with delicate
forceps, in the teeth of which he held con-
cealad bristlc from tooth brush. The lady
threw her head back the surgeon intro
duced his forccps-a prick, scream, and it
was all over. The surgeon with smiling
face was closely inspecting the extracted
bristle. The lady was in raptures she i'm
mediatcly recovered her health and spirits,
and went about everywhere sounding the
praises of her saviour, as she called the sur
gcon. So enthusiastio was her gratitude,
she offered him her hand in marriage and
her noble fortune. The fact that the young
surgeon was already married was an isuper-
able obstacle to this arrangement. But
other proofs of gratitude the lady showered
on him. She compelled him to accept
carriage and horses, a service of plate, and
a new house. Unfortunately, the lucky
fellow could not keep his own COUNSEL
Like foolish Samson with Delilah, he i'm
parted the secret of his cunning to the wife
of his bosom. She confded it to Louise
Clarissa, her especial friend, who had been
her bridesmaid. Louise Clarissa told it
under VOWS of inviolab!e secrecy, to six
other particular friends and the other par
ticular friends-base and unworthy girls
told it to all the world. Ere long the
story came round TO the lady herself Then
a storm arose! She was in transport of
fury! 1t was of no avail for the surgeon
to remind her that he lad unquestionably
raised her from pitiable condition to health
and happiness. "That mottcred not. He
had tricked, fooled, bamboozled her She
would not forgive him she would pursue
him with undyins vengeance; she would
ruin him"
All of which may be taken as evidence
that the nerves of some women and surgeons
are sometimes badly balanced and the
moral is-when young doctor has an im>
aginary bristle to extract from wealthy
spinster's throat, he should perform tho
operation before he gets married.
RICH, RARE AND RAcY.-The following
letter to New York firm is full of fun and
explains ITSELF
HIGn POINT, NC.
Messrs. Ji,o Smith f; 90.
GENTS :-Replying to yours Of the 18th
instant, have to say, that for the prospect
of having claims placed in my hands to
collect, in this vicinity and nothing more,
[ do not feel willing to report the "stand-
ing of of the party mentioned, or Of any
one else. do not wish to be misunder-
stood as saying that do not want paying
business, but know that 4 lawyer would
starvc as quick on commissions and fees on
collections as he would on corn cob soup in
January.
have had some experience in trying to
collect. have offered to comp. claims by
taking old clothes, frozen cabbage, stones
powder horns, old -four barrels, gourds
coon skins, jay birds, owls, or almost any.
thing, and yet have number of those
old claims on hand unsettled. If 1 were
to depend on collecting claims for my liv.
ing, my bean broth would get so thin that it
would rattle in me like pot liquor in a poor
dog.
| don't like to shoot at long taw, but il
you are inclined to pay anything certain for
tho desired reports, Pm your man say ten
dollars cash, then I'm in, or if money is
scarce, would take shoes, large Nos, say
los, lis, and 12s, to the amount of ten
dollars at wholesale prices.
It's hard times here-the niggers and