Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1879-09-04


"WHAT BROUGHT You HERE.-A report
er for an English paper, in giving an account
of "Sunday in three-penny lodging. house,
to which he had gained entrance by painting
his nose the standard color, and dressing him
self in the seedy garments that werefashiona
BILE there, fell into conversation with one of its
inmates. As one red-nosed lodger passed
through the room on his way to bed, his infor
mant remarked:
"There is man who had splendid chances
He has been in the service Of the first nobili
ty in the land, and was well off at one time. ,
"And what has brought him here?" l in
quired. ... .....
brought him herel Why, what has
brought you here. or any other decent man
What has brought me here?"
l suggested that he was probably down in
luck. E .s
"Luck be blessed! It is drink that has
brought me to sleep in three-penny lodging
house. And it has him, and 80 it has you"
CURED HIM.-Somebody has brought out
the following reminiscence: When Benjamin
Franklin was lad he began to study philos
ophy, and soon became fond of applying
technical names to common objects. One
evening when he had mentioned to his father
that be had swallowed some acephalous mol
lusks, the old man was alarmed, and sudden
ly selling him, called loudly for help. Mrs.
Franklin came in with warm water, and the
hired man rushed in with the garden pump
They forced half gallon down Benjamin's
throat, then held him by the heels over the
edge of the porch, and shook him, while the
old man said, "If we don't get them things
out of Benny, be will be pizened, sure. u
When they were out, and Benjamin explained
that the articles referred to were oysters, his
father fondled him for an hour with trunk
strap for soaring the family. Ever after.
wards Franklin's language was marvellously
simple and explicit.
The Power OF LArIN.-Some years ago
in a Rhode Island Legislature member
moved to translate all the Latin phrases in the
statutes so that the people could understand
them. A Mr.. Updike took the ground that
it was no advantage to have the people un-
derstand the laws. He said they were not
afraid of any thing they understood; that it
was the Latin words they were afraid of, and
proceeded to illustrate as follows :"Mr. Speak
er, there was man in South Kingston about
twenty years ago who was perfect nuisance,
and nobody knew how to get rid of him. One
day he was hoeing corn, and he saw the sher-
iff coming with paper, and asked him what
it was. Now if he had been told it was a
writ, what would he have cared? But he
told him it was capias satisfaciendum, and
the man dropped his hoe and ran, and has not
been heard Of since.'
YOUNG AMERICANs.-A railroad conduct
or writes long communication to the Chi
cago Tribune to combat the current hallu-
cination that the coming generation of Amer
leans will be puny, sickly and played out.
His experience of many years convinces him
that the contrary is the case, and that the
average American child of "under IL" who
travels on half:fare ticket is as large as a
boy or girl of Is or Is used to be in ante-rail-
road days. He thinks that an instructive
and interesting article might be written by
some psychologist on the subject of the in
huence of the invention Of railroads upon the
development of the infant American.
b9r A young man, says the Haukeye, who
went from Burlington to Leadville about six
weeks ago, writes back cheerfully to his
friends: II have gained three pounds since |
came here, and gained it all in half ounce
installments Haven't been shot in the head
yet"
H9- When an entertainment is given and it
proves to be big failure, the way to ease
down about it is to give out that it was very
select affair, and intended only for the elite.
We request all mothers 20 stop using Lau.
danum for their Babies, and use DIR. Bulls
d. l.. C-.... - .aI 80 al;a;no L. nnntainc