Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-10-10


fosSll has yet bees f5azi that 80 -
blg - ia E2nss.
The Only p-0ple n thu AL q the
free uho zei A. bag s.lzries IS tn Pres
liezt are first-ciAss vAslt.iy sctJrs znd
sssr coFne. players
4 yOzng lady Of West Hal boast.
that she Las received and rejsc;cl Eve
oilers Of marriage. She uasi he tie
original Of BtrOl - Mai 81 Askiugs. 70
4 carpet dealer II darlington aiver-
tises "ner Brussels carpets tina; can Z
be beat" That's the kind ne vart at
orr house. Send Us half dozen YOU
may Keep the change.
What will prevent steamboat ex.
plosiOns:" Is the question. under dis
cussion by kentucky debating society.
The President argued in favor of run
ming the steamboat with cold water.
Professor Wilder says, II you are
choked. get down upon all fours, and
cough" Oh yes, Professor Wilder,
that is all we'll enough, but suppose you
have only jus: stolen horse. and you
are being choked by party of Texas
regulators
DR.. Pierce, the four Fps medicine
man, was caught out on Lake Huron,
recently, in q terrible storm, and at
one time it seemed impossible that lie
could ever reach the shore. In despair,
he took dose of his own pellets. Got
him through by daylight.
George Francis Train never shakes
the hand of any person to whom he is
introduced he shakes his arm, to pre-
serve his own electricity, he says. And
then the other man shakes George
Francis he doesn't say for what, but
undoubtedly he has the best of reasons.
"What is the gender Of Venus ?" the
professor asked the new boy. "Nuder, u
replied the new boy, with never smile.
The professor looked at him long and
earnestly. The new boy looked back al
him with t-ustful eyes Of innocent blue,
and the professor told him to scan the
next eight lines and construe "ubi per-
ventum."
Some regulators caught horse thief
in Colorado the other day, and gave him
his choice of hanging or joining q new
"Pinafore company. The doomed
man bowed his head in deep thought q
few minutes, looked up with an express
sion of calm resignation on his face, and
silently pointed to his neck. They
hoisted him.
The national bureau of statistics says
all the church property in the United
States is worth 1854 900, 900, while
every year $700,000,0O0 are spent for
drinks. There is nothing valuable in
this paragraph, save that it shows that
men drink Just about twice as much as
they pray. And there isn't any thing in
that particularly valuable, either.
HUMAN SUFFERING.
"Ready for lunch DR.. Pullikens? ?"
asked the magistrate.
Eyes" said the dentist, "I'm mawful
hungry"
The magistrate looked at him in sor-
rowful silence for q moment, and then
rejolped:
"And I'm justice dry as I can be-"
The dentist was tongue to the quick,
but recovered in time to tell his friend
that he evidently needed filling.
QUAINT. STUFF.
Bartholomew" the old merchant
said to his second book.keeper, "you
are looking bilious. Aren't you feeling
well?"
Bartholomew admits that he isn't
feeling right peart, and details his
symptoms. whereat his kind-hearted,
but deluded employer, shakes his head
gravely and says:
"This won't do you; you will break
down you must see physician you
must take something"
And before he is we'll around the
corner the invalid rushes out and
stakes something "and says he will see
the physician about the time the ap.
pearance of the menagerie makes it
necessary
BOUND TO HAVE BED.--Rev. Daniel
Isaac was an eccentric itinerant preach
or. He once alighted at an inn to stay
all night. On asking for bed he was
told he could not have one, as there was
to be ball that night and all the beds
were engaged.
cat what time does the ball break
up ?" inquired Mr.. Isaac.
"About three o'clock in the morn.
ing. SIR :,
"Well then. can have bed until
that time ?"
eyes, certainly but if the bed is
asked for you will have to move"
every we'll" replied Mr.. Isaac.
About three o'clock in the morning
he was awakened by loud knocking at
the chamber door.
"What do you want ?" he asked.
GLOW many of you are in there p
inquired voice.
There's me and Daniel and Mr..
Isaac and an old Methodist preacher, VI
was the reply.
"Then, by Jupiter, there's plenty OF
you !" and then the applicant passed
on. leaving Mr.. Isaac to finish his
nights slumber.
TETE-A.TETE.
The latest parasols are of velvet.
The popular degree-A. B.-After
bachelors.
Dresses of unbleached muslin are
popular in Saratoga.
There are l, 400 guests at the Green