The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-04-02
Sense and Nonsense.

A fixed fact--one that gets into a
woman's head.
Food for repentance Mince pie eaten
late at night.
The onion originated in Egypt. So i'm
portant facts leek out, one b! one.
Sir Robert Peel, speaking Of Lord
Eldon, said that even his failings leaned
to virtues side; upon which bystander
observed that his lordships failings re-
sembled the leaning tower IF Pisa, which,
in spite of its long inclination, had never
yet gone over.
An advertiser in the Chicago papers
says: "Never go where you are not
wanted! If man wants you to come to
his place of business he will invite you
through an advertisement. It is wrong
to intrude on privacy.''
A professor, lecturing on the effects of the
wind In some Western forests. remarked,
''1n travelling along the road, I even
sometimes found the logs bound and
twisted together to such an extent that a
mule couldn't climb over them, so I went
round"
The late Mr. McNab, curator of the
Edinburg Botanic Garden, was once
taken to see Dubufe's painting of Adam
and Eve, and was asked for his opinion.
81 think no great things of the paint"
said the great gardener; ''whv, man.
Ewes temptin' Adam wi pippin of a
| variety that wasna known until about
twenty years ago!"
II tell you what, sir, there's luck in
odd numbers" he said. "Why, there was
| old Jeremy Pickett lived to be ninety
nine, and Miry Arnold died at hundred
and five, and Squire Billy McCrackersly
departed this life aged one hundred and
'leven. Suppose, now, that he'd aided
when he was just even a-hundred and
ten, why, sir, I'll bet to gracious he
wouldn't have lived more'n fifty or sixty
years."
In a case before the recorder Yesterday
a witness tor the defense, in giving his
evidence, observed: "The whole affair,
your honor, didn't amount to a row of
pins" Counsel for the Prosecution
"What is the value of a row of pins?''
Witness (naively, scratching his Eose)-
"That all depends upon the extent of the
row." Counsel-"I have no more ques-
lions to ask this witness. H-Montreal
Witness.
"Poor Herbert! How 7 wish you did
not have to slave so at that horrible store
from morning till night" said his wife,
as, with fond caress, she seated herself
on her husbands knees and gently stroked
the auburn locks from his sloping brow
And the grave, stern man of business
understood her at once, and answered,
"Well, Susie, what is ia bonnet or
what2 Go light on me, for money is
scarce'n ever"
Father Of adored one: "Then it comes
to this, sir; you have no fortune, you
have lost your appointment, you have
no prospects OF another, and you come
to ask for my daughters hand-and for
tune9" mo! Suppose we put it this
way; l am unembarrassed by wealth, am
free from the cares of business, and my
future is irradiated by hope; therefore,
; this is the crisis when can best devote
myself to your daughter, and enjoy that
afhuence with which you will crown our
love-"
Everybody knows the story of the
doctor, who, on bowling to one of bis
customers in the street, charged it as a
consultation, one dellar. But the other
day, one of those "dead-head" invalids
who are always trying to get a prescrip,
ton for nothing, met doctor at the caft
and gave him a full description OF his
aches, pains and symptoms generally, and
ended with: "What must do for thats'
"There's emily one thing TO do,'' said the
doctor, "but It's very simple" "Oh, yes
and you would advise me''-"To % and
, consult a physician"
During his stay at Atlanta, General
Sherman was asked by journalist Of
that city, who served in the war on the
Confederate side with distinction, for 8
set of maps illustrating the military oper.
ations in and about Atlanta. The re.
quest was granted, and letter has beer
received at the War Department acknowl.
edging the gift, and closing with the wit
f ty comment, II really didn't know how
f badly we were whipped until saw it il
Illustrated. I realized the fact in 1854
but could not account for it,"
I Says correspondent of Scri6ner
j. Doctor Bethune, even, rebelled agains
!. conventional propriety in driving fas
: horses in a day when horse with goo.
legs was far more reprobate than he i
7 to-day. tits said that Bethune's consistor
once complained of the scandal causet
q by the doctors horses. ~s 6
"Well, gentlemen" he said, meekly
| 81 may as we'll tell you that I mean t
3 sell the horses"
e The brethren expressed their delight
e "The reason I am going to sell them i
;. this" he added, slyly. II was arivin
;, to-day, and so-and-so passed me, and