The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1879-12-13
THIS AND THAT

Miss Mary Travis 10 an English lady who
few weeks ago reached the age Of 100
years, and by the Vicar of Cottingham was
baptized, ras.....
Alfonso is lucky. Herossessed two wed.
ding bells in his brief reign. Now he is
going 70 ring and Marie Christine.
Miss Kate Field will sail for America the
latter part Of this month, and after she has
rested she will appear in her musical mono.
logue, eyes and Ears in London"
Prof Proctor says the earthfs 5OO,OOO,OOO
years old. And we believe him. Almost
every day we come across q joke that ia
every whit as venerable os that.
Little hops Of buckwheat,
Golden Jumps to match,
Makes a mighty itching,
And constant scratch.
The newly elected Governor of New York
is Of age, but Roscoe COnkling wants it TN
derstood that he dosent intend to reinquish
his claim as guardian. -a
An Edinburgh woman, whose husband
had beaten her Q2O times in four years, had
him arrested, and he was sent TO Jail for
three days. The punishment was too light.
The brute should have been sent to Jail for
whole week. The next thing we know
he'll be locked up for whole month.
''Helen's Babies have moved to Bing-
homton They started fire IN a barn the
other day, and explained after it had been
put out that "they wanted to see the fire.
men roll the cartt" The view was denied
them; but they had view of the floor in.
stead from the altitude Of their papa's knee.
The great carpet mills and other large
factories empty their waste into the schuyl-
kill river. So do the City gas works So
does the village of schuylkill Falls. Then
Philadelphia dams this water for the citizens
to drink. The citizens do the same and
drink IT,
An exchange stops to remark that sa-
cred concert now begins with psalm tune,
ends with "old Hundred" }" and puts Chopin
and AuerbOch between the two, and the
people think it just like n sandwich--two
u
slice Of good ham in the middle.
"Some more cheese, please said small
boy ofeight to his papa at dinner. "No,
my child" was the reply Of the prudent pa.
rent; "you have already had enough.
When wus child had to eat my bread
and smell my cheese" "Well," said sonny,
"please give me piece to SMELL"
At shoemaker's ball in Philadelphia
reporter said that "feet of every size, from
fine taper in white kid to pudding shaped
pedals in full calf skin welted the wax on the
floor in harmony with the music. They
waxed, warmed and pegged away until late
next morning. 1t was whole souled af-
fair.
Jerrold could say things sharper than a
surgeons knife when he was in i'll temper.
A gentleman who was very sensitive Hbout
book which he had Just had published
said to him: "Air Jenold, understand
that you have told Mr. Blank that my last
did not" said the gruf wit: 81 told him il
was the worst book anybody ever wrote"
A little girl Of some seven years, who is
very regular and intent on her bedtime
prayers, was recently saying them with her
usual care and thoroughnoss, when broth
er, somewhat her senior, said to her in
sort of fatherly and patronizing manner:
"sissie, If you are so long saying your pray
ers on cold nights you will freeze do like
me; just say ditto and hop right into
bed"
A Walnut street clerk was discharged and
asked the reason. "You are so awful slow
about everything" SAID his employer. "You
do me an injustice" responded the clerk,
"there is one thing am not slow about"
al should be delighted to hear you name
it," sneered the proprietor. "Well," said
the clerk, slowly, "nobody can get tired as
quick as l cam" A motion for reconsider
alton of his case has been referred to the
pnoper committees,