Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1879-05-22
An,l1oruns 9eparttueut.
THE LATEST HATCHET STORY.

nue. lives two promising youngsters, whose
father, being an upright and conscientious
gentleman, has an enduring admiration for
George Washington and his little hatchet
Of course, he took his hopefuls on his knees,
and told to them, as he trotted them to Bar
naby Cross, the story of the evergreen and
eternal cherry tree. In the course of events
and time he bethought, himself to make bis
two cherubs present Of hatchet each, and
in the course of events and time he discover
ed cut on his cherished dwarf pear tree
Suspecting the culprits and calling his pos.
terity to him, "Boys," he said, frowning glow.
eringly, "who cut this pear tree p
And then he waited in suspense to see
whether he had another Washington in his
family.
Posterity No. Id did it, pa, wifi my lit
tie hatchet. I cannot tell lie."
Posterity No. 2.-"No, he didn't pa; cut
it wifi my hatchet; and I'm the one at can't
tell no lie"
No. 1.-"You didn't; I cut it myself"
No. 2.-"Whoopee! You didn't do no
such thingp'
No. 1.-"Yes, I did pa, for there wasn't
but one pear tree, and We drawd straws TO see
which one 'ould cut it, and"
No. 2.-"And drawd the short straw and
cut the"
No. 1.-"Ain't you ashamed? I drawd
the short straw and cut the tree, and you got
mad and went off and cut up our new car
rage"
,Pa-"The -"
No. 2.-"Oo-ooh! I didn't do no such
thing! He cut it his.se'f, pa"
No 1.-"I didn't, now"
No 2-"You're Ii fibberW
And then the fond father took his posterity
each by the nape of the neck and marched
them to the carriage-house The mournful
ruin that had been wrought there was mourn
full to contemplate, and the sounds that went
up from the carriagehouse excited the won
der of the neighbors and the chaotic cachina-
tions of the chickens for two squares around.
The father has oen6scated the hatchets and
now declares that too much George Washing.
ton will demoralize any family. >~
pS- We often wondered why girls married.
An Austin young lady, upon the subject says:
"Well, no, I don't know as I'd marry for
money alone, but if a man had plenty of
money allied to sweet disposition, and a
moustache that curled at both ends, and nice
blue eyes and a respectable profession, and
his father was rich and his mother and sisters
aristocratic, and he wanted to marry me- and
would promise to let me have my own way in
everything, and keep me literally supplied
with coin, and have nice furnished house
with a big piano in it, and would give me two
diamond rings, and would pay my dry goods,
milliner's and dressmaker's bills without
grumbling, and I really and truly loved
him-I wouldn't consider his money any
drawback to the match"
The CoLT.-A short time ago little boy
went with his father to see colt. He patted
the colts head and made quite fuss over it,
until finally the stableman told him to be
careful that the colt did not turn round and
kick him. When the little chap went home,
his mother asked him what he thought of
the colt ~ like him pretty WE'LL" was the
reply. "Hss real tame in front, but he's
awful wild Behind"
RAISING A CLyB.-"I should like to have
you raise club" said 7x9 book-canvasser
to daughter of Erin, as he stood on the
front step trying to talk her to death on the
subject of the "Extinction of the Tribes of
the Seventh Century" ~ WILL" said Biddy,
as she reached around behind the door, "but
bad luck to your picture if you are linger-
ing around here when I get it raised"
The DocroR's ANswER.-A physician in
a country town, who had been annoyed by
numerous questions concerning the condition
of patient, was stopped, while on his busy
rounds, by q man with the old question,
"How's Mp "Ill," replied the physician.
"Does he keep his bed p "Of course he does.
You don't suppose he's fool enough to sell his
bed when he's so i'll, do you ?"
p9- A country shopkeeper said: "Here, my
friend, those balls of butter I bought of you
last week all proved to be just three ounces
short of pound" And the farmer innocent
ly answered: II don't see how that could be,
for I used one of your pound bars Of soap
for weight"
s9- A colored baby fell from an attic win
dow the other day, and the mother tells the
story thus: "Dere dat child was coming down
feet fust, wild every chance of being killed,
when de Lawd, he turned him over, de chile
etr,,oL nm H.. bool ,ol Jo,o n,e,,,f n,uoh