The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1879-05-08
JUSTICE IN A QUANpaRY.
How the Changes on slang Puzzled
Magistrate.
New York Heraf,l

How the Changes On slang Puzzled
Magistrate.
New York Eera!dI
The envoy tia. came from Patsy Barns
saloon yesterday to get warrant for its
propr e;or was honse, squat AID bull
necked. He leaned scro,s the bar of the
Jefferson Market Court ami whispered con-
tidentisliy, Say, ledge, Patsy Burns wants
TO shnt down on kid that's bin skinnin-
him"
"A kid! skinnirg him? Impossible ~
said His Honor. .'WaeIe is the ami
msl?'
Hes young rooster" The applicant
went on, what dishes out the bose 10
Pst-y's drum
His Honor looked psrrlezed. "Oh, i,'s
poultry you're complaining about" he re-
marked - thought you said it was lid
Iast now. Wen, what Of the rooster ~
The applicant took good long look at
His Honor, and fumbled his hat lining
nervousiy. Then he began again with an
air submissive, but reproachful
Say, Jedge, don't you play me. I'm
gISin' TO you straight; honor bright. Patsy
teels dead sore over the thing and wants the
young terrier hauled up before you"
The Judge dropped his eye glasses help
lessly Lock here, my friend, /" he blurted
out, III you come here to complain about a
whole menaserie, say so; hut his parade of
flesh and fowl is distraciIrg. Let us under
stand each other. KID, rooster or dog-is
Patsy's trouble with one or all ?"
The applicant looked about him hope
kssly. Then he said
ledge, ihis looks like a dead open and
shut. You don't seem 10 tumble to me at
all. Here's the scheme. There's jigger
behind Patsys bar that's crooked and lie
wants him taken in. See?"
"Oh, Patsy has a saloon. 1t is the per.
son who dispersss the beverages he has the
trouble with"
That's the Racket, ledge" and the appli-
cant stamped with delight. you've got it
dead TO rights. You see, Patsy sets this
bloke II his shebsng a sending along the
old stuff, and everything goes hunkeedoree
till he sees his nibs sporting super and
logged out to the Queens taste Well,
Patsy's pooty fly, he is, and he dropped to
the caPer. 81 ne spotted the Teller, and to.
day he catehed him working the damper."
Working the damTer?'
les, SoiidIiuS tle DOSule.
'Collaring the -. Ny friend, for
heavens sake be explicit" his Honor
mosned. "Whst do you mean"
The applicant turned the quid in his
mouth over and ever sgain despondently,
but made no rep'y. At last lie blurted out in
despair:
Hang it, ledge. liz clear enough. He
was tapping the till"
Tapping the till?' and his Honor
paused to reflect. Then his face Frightened
up. "Ah, see." he said. He was appro-
Priating the receipts TO his own use in the
proprietor's absence"
That's the talk" rosred the applicant.
"Appropriatin' the receipts is the go.
You've 90. it down fine, Jedge. That's
what the codger did-appropriated Patsy
Burns receipts. So Patsy sent me round
to see rs if you wouldn't give him the col
lar and make him produce. He's bad let,
he ia, and YOU ought to give him stretch"
"What p cried:his Honor, "would you be
so bsrbarous as to have me hapg the man."
who's talkin' of hapgin?" asked the
other. "Whst said is, he ought to get
nip"
''Get nip"
''Ies; go up the river"
81 see, l see" groaned the Justice. $50
to Sing Sing. My friend, we will try to &C.
you. But this conversation is
trying to a man of my constitution. Go to
Patsy Burns, beg you. Tell him to bring
his grievance here in person. and for
heavens sake let him bring little OF the
vernacular along"
The applicant bowed his head sullenly.
"Maybe you're right, ledge" said he Fan
may be you amt, but It does seem rough on
a citizen and taxpayer If he can't get JUS
tice unless he's swallowed lore dictionary
and crsmmed down j,wbreaksrs fit to has,
him. So long" and he stalked gloomily
away in quest of Patsy Burns.