, 1879-03-30
GENERAL CROOKEDNESS.

-AN~E,--'
on West Madison street has had his trust and
faith in humanity sadly shaken during the past
fortnight. Some time ago there entered bis
place couple OF strangers. who Ind some whisky,
and invited him to join, and, after some general
remarks concerning the municipal elections the
Zulu war, tile hard times, O'Leary and similar
topics, asked him if he didn't want to buy soule
whisky,-some good whtsky.-some very cheap
whisky. The man said he didn't know; nat
depended. .'Herc's sample Of it," satd one
Of the men, producing phial; Just taste 1t
and see what YOU think Of It," The saloon
keeper irrigated his internal consciousness with
the fluid and said it was very good ~hlsky,-too
good, perhaps, because, as rule, customers 10
that neighborhood took pretty big drinks, AID
for that kind OF custom vigorous but econon-
jcal article Of whisky had to be furnished.
snow, l can give, you that whisky r. Tor Sl@o
a callon,n said the stranger. "W-h-a-t! a
dollar and a quarter?" answered the SALOON
keeper, ''py my halidome, thou giVest me tally.
Such Whisky as that, up to sample, can't be
had for less than s3 or 81" ''That's fact,"
said the stranger, who had conducted the nego-
tiations, "yoI couldn't buy such whisky as that
anywhere tor less than 81 gallon, but "|hero
YOU how we can afford it. You won't give us
away, honest Indian,-l mean honest salooa, q :,
keener2n He promised he would not. - ell,
resumed the stranger. s'the tide of official cor
ruption that Is sweeping over the land is some
thing the size OF which IS IN nnsuspected ana not
and me are engaged bv oisti1ler at-well, no
matter where, but he is hand and glove with
some of the biggest officials OF the treasury
Department., und things are all hxcd, you un-
LIS whisky ncges pfyS cent a OF
with the authorities at Washington
he hasn't got to 90 and squantler his money in
fines aud compromises, aud buying up the gsug-
ers and collectors, aud so on. That's bic saw
inc, you know.' " 1t isl replied Mr. Saloon
% how be can afford to sell that whisky at s1.25
gallon.' "Well, he can't" said the stranger,
and he doesn't, but VIC can do so at profit
VIC steal it from him! The old cuss suspects
nothing, and II be did he daren't saJ anything,
because we've got the dead wooo on MN, ano
beside which Belknnp and Babcock would shrink
into insirnificance See? Further, believe
that the Supreme Court Of the United States
has ruled that it is not robbery to steal from
thief, but only breach OF faith IN the seventh
degree" This argument convinced the saloon
keeper, who agreed to take barrcl OF the stolen
GOODS, and iu due course the men at DUSK
iroye cautiously up with 4 barrel Whlch
was lowered into the 6oloon-keeper's cellar;
sPut in spigot," said the strangers. " an ana
taste il, and see If it is up to sample" Inc
saloou-kcepcr did SO, and found that It Was
quite up to sample, and he reloiced exceedingly,
for he lad shown the sample to connoisseur
down town, who had agreed to take all OF tha. :
whisky he could bring at ST gallon io9'd
better empty that whisky into one OF the regular
barrels,'' said the strangers, US they took their
$50 und departed, for it wouldn't do to let any
Of the revenue officials know that we're putting
out the crooked stuff,'' and the saloon Keeper
determined to act Immediately upon their al,
vice. 10 bis surprise, however, after ne had
drawn of about three gallons the hlsky stopped
flowing. He couldn't understand this, for be
fonnd that there was no impeachment In the
faucet, and yet the barrel was heavy, and when
he rolled it about on the floor he could dis
tinctly hear the liquid within it ''swasn II about
Very much perplezed, he stood the barrel un
on end anu took out the head, and then discov-
cred that it was full Of bladlers 11llcd with
water. With much patience and ingenuity the
strangers had put bladder IN throuen tne
buug-holc, poured wafer into it. anu Wnch II
was full had tied no the neck aud let 1t drop ,
then had put in another, and SO on Till the
barrel was as full as it would hold; then they
mad Doured in whisky enough to Dill up the IN
terstices. The saloon-kcepcr SAYS that the cou
deu,ned scouudrels have swindled him, anu tha'
If he lives to be as old as Susan 3. Mcthusalen
hell never trust his own father, but he IL SONS
what at loss how to do anything IN the
premises, Withou. making it public that ne Is
willing to be defrauder OF the revenue anc
receiver Of stolen goods. His W'1e's pruoen,
aovice-to say nothing about 1t, but to empty
nail OF water into each OF the barrels IN Tie
cellur-he will probably follow