The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1879-08-22
LA CREME DEs CHRONIQUEs.
What The Alleged Wits of Paris Find To
Say in Their Newspapers.
LNaw York World j.

Say in Their Newspapers.
New York World
The old Baron Ii dead. There is good rea-
son for believing that he ts IN purgatory at
the very least His daughter-in-law Is de-
sirous thata goodly number OF prayers should
be said for him,
poor, dear father-in-law was, my love- says
the Dowager "He was almost Quixotic In
his punctiliousne5s and sense Of honor. He
would not thank any one to pray for him. He
Is too proud he will Insist onremaining there
till the last moment rather than be under al
obligation TO any one.'
Yet again Vivier. On going along the streets
beholds bourgeois at whom dog Is barking
and swapping viciously: Running UP he ex-
claims, "Benot afraid, Sill, will protect you
get out OF that you brute!" and brandshes
lis cane 30 vigorously that the animal sulen-
ly retires. The bourgeois is prodigal Or
thanks, and goes on arm-in-arm with his pre-
server.
1T Is lucky that you are not afraid Of dogs,
SIR says the bourgeois.
''If that dog had yentured to lay his teeth
upon you he would have sealed his doom. =
says Vivier, coldly.
"you would have killed himS'
81 would have bitten him"
s'Bitten him2 / don't exactly understand
"Then in from sixty to seventy-two hours
hours he would have gone mad and been
knocked on the head"
Really, sir, don't grasp your meaning"
II meau." says Vivier, gripping his COM
panion's arm, while a fearful CONFUSION dis
forts his features, Il mean that was bitten
eight days ago by mad dog and feel that
the crisis Of my disease is approaching.
1t would have been positive relief to sink my
envenomed fangs into his quivertng flesh!
What shiveringl- is that n fountain over
there2" bourgeois yanquishes upon the
wings Of the wind.
A Park policeman seeing yellow dog near
two handsomely dressed women approaches
respectfully and says: docs this beauchl3ul
little creachure belong to you. ladies'"
mercy, n0l'
Park policeman (llftlng his chne)-"GeL OUT
o. here, you beast"
The other evening an old gentleman ad-
vanced the proposition that never In the
course OF his long life had he seen woman
that WAS not charming.
"Oh. really, now" said a lady whose nose
was Of the purest Ukraine breed, don't you
think I'm uglyg
old gentleman. "Yon are an angel, fresh
fall'n from heaven, only you fell on your
nosGp
Judgc-Prisoner, you are accused Of having
kicked and trampled upon your wife, What
have you to say
Prisoner am innocent. your honor. can
lift my hand and swear.
Judge (severclyl-That will do sir; that
will do. Do not add perjury to aggravated
assault. Content yourself with having lifted
your foot.
so now you are B. A. What do you in
tend to dor"
ooh, I'm going to take my degree and then
be professor, and then I'm going to hurry |
through my thirty years 50 as TO be entitled
to my retiring pension as soon as possible,
and then shall enjoy my well-earned rest.
Nine x enters the chamber of her colored |
waiting woman while the Abigail Is at her |
toilet.
"Mercy me, what is that?" she says. point |
ing to d box inscribed, 'Lampblack for the |
complexion"
son, that's my pearl-powder!"
Prisoner how old are you?"
Twenty two. your honor"
"Twenty-two? Your papers make out that |
you were born twentythree years ago"
$50 l was, but I spent one year In prison |
and I dpn't cnunt fhaf--it was l0St time !"