Daily Los Angeles herald., 1879-11-20
Sunbeams.

| uuuertakeT BeJb HIS living WneIe
another man dies.
life is BATTLE" says the Balti-
more NeWs, and 1t Is strongly sus-
pected that it refers mainly to mar
ried life.
Fond mothers can easily prevent
their youthful offspring from Creep
ing up the stairs by scattering a
few tacks along the route.
The gloomiest period of o young
mans life is when his girl has q
boil on her upper lip too tender to
be bruised by mustaclie.
A New Jersey gun club has been
doing recently some splendid
shooting. 1t reached its skill by
shooting mosquitoes from q spring.
trap.
Silk, it has been discovered,
causes spontaneous combustion.
Young man, never hug a girl even
in dark parlor without having q
bucket of water within reach of the
sofa.
A man arrested in Texas stated
in Court that the Lord was his
counsel, and the prisoner was con-
victed and sent to prison.. Next
time he'll employ Bob Ingersoll.
A close observer has ascertained
that the reason why there are not
so many bad characters in o coun-
try town as in large city is be-
cause it is a smaller place.
Darius Perrin of Rochester trans-
ferred $800,000 worth of properly TO
his nephew to protect it il d. pusi-
ness emergency, and now wants to
get it back, but his nephew an
nounces his intentio,. of keeping it.
The Constitution says the rights
OF all citizens t. bear arms shall
not be abridged, but the man going
around in his shirt-sleeves during
the Winter, is very apt to be laid
up with rheumatism.
A man at BloonlIngton, Ind,
has for several years believed that
he was dog. The psople did not
object as long as he confined his
demonstrations to barking at those
who passed his house, but when he
began TO bite them, they locked
him up.
Her heart was very heavy,
Though her face was very fair:
For she thought he had reflected
On the color of her hair;
When he softly leaned above her
And mournfully he said,
That he thought he couldn't take her,
For he didn't have "red."
Pittsburgh Leader.
Signor Dario Mazzel, stenograph-
er to the italian Senate, has in
vented a machine which claims to
reproduce a speech in the ordinary
printed characters as rapidly as 1t
is spoken, a word of several sylla.
bles being recorded by single
touch of the keys.
Clergyman: $50 L hear that you
have got married again, Jacobs ?'
Jacobs: "Ees, sur,I thought as how
as Winter was coming on, and
Betty she'd got one blanket, and
got t'other, we might as we'll make
'em a pair, and be more comforta-
BILE like" Fun.
A reporter of the Cape Times, in
an account Of Cetewayo on board
ship, says of him: "He has rather
O wild way of taking to Eu.
ropean food, and as a preliminary
to substantial feed of beef, the
other day, he devoured pot and
half of JAM"
Nothing SO deeply impresses
young man with the unwarranta-
ble and tyrannical assumption Of
parental authority than, just as he
is making up to his girl at the
church sociable to ask IL he may 60
home with her, to hear her father
snarl from the hall, "Come 'long,
Emeline !"-HdUkeye.
Two young women were to travel,
without a male escort, from Azure
Illus, N. Y, to San Francisco. Fear
full of annoyance, they thought it
would be safeguard II one had her
hair cropped off and wore mems
clothes. This plan was carried out:
but the deception was imperfect,
and in Chicago they were arrested
as suspicious characters.
The eruption from which the sun
was lately reported to be suffering
would appear to be contagious, for
the astronomers now announce
that Jupiter is afflicted by a pim-
pie. 1t is as large as the continent
of Europe, and of g splendid ver-
million color. 1t is situated on his
"uppermost extremity" deferen-
tial mode, probably, of saying the
top of his Majesty's head, and is OF
an oval form, appearing "attached
to the planet itself.
Trouble has frequently grown out
Of the laundry combat between
Gervaise and Firginie, in the play
"LAssommoir," usually by too
realistic a throwing of water. But
the matter was carried further at
the National Theater, Philadelphia,
where GerVaise, after being uncom-
fortably drenched, struck Virginie
a hard blow on the head with a
wash paddle, SO disabling her that
she could not 60 on with the part.
The Derbyshire jury which re-
Gently tossed up to decide death
sentence, has been outdOne at Ches-
ter. At the Quarter Session in that
city, Elizabeth Little and Francis
Conway were indicted for mali
ciously wounding Elizabeth Spell
lets, at Birkenhead. 1t was clearly
proved that the female prisoner
felled the woman Spellets to the
ground with blow on the head
with hatchet. She then caught
hold of her victims hand and bit 1t
through, the male prisoner after
ward administering three severe
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