Connecticut western news., 1879-11-26
WIT AND WISDOM.

akin.
 A rich actor may be looked upon as fixed star. ..
 A dry dock-A physician going in to take drink.
 -"What is it, doctor a"-" Twins" "' By Gemini ?"
 The March of Destiny has more than thirty-one days in it.
 Lydia Thompson has raked in great deal of money on one pair.
 Of all the birds beneath the skies Thanksgiving turkies takes the prise. -[Whitehall Times. The older the tree the more rings it has. It is very much the same with city.
 The ssddest words of tongue or pen-"Here's that collector of bills again."
 A man may smile and smile again, then he ought to stopif he wants to go home sober. r-y
 Japanese ladies wear hats only when it rains. 1t never rains at the theatre. Happy Japan
 Advice to oyster-eaters, candidates and American mothers in Europe Watch the count.
 Any man pays too much for his whistle when he has to wet it ffeeen or twenty times day.
 Don't, everybody. begin to fire oil the old jokes about turkeys. The awful time is approaching.
 -"There can be no honest boat- race," is saying as familiar as an old saw with Courtney.
 The voice of the candidate saying, "Wont you take somethingp" is no longer heard in the land.
 Its m awful mean invertebrate that under the cover of chestnut will worm itself into one's feelings.
 When eggs are scarce it is simply aggravating to see so many hens stand ing around doing nothing.
 The New Orleans Picayune says that bald-headed men are like kind words, because kind words never dye.
 Those South American fights are not remarkable for numbers engaged or slain, but the names and incidents are picturesque.
 -"And oh, Edward" said the girl he was going to leave behind him, "at every stopping place be sure you write, then go ahead"
 The Sultan is said to be even more rapacious and extravagant than his pre- decessors. He trusts nobody and wants everybody to trust him.
 There is 8 man here who thinks he knows all about farming. Speaking about strawberries, he says the best way to raise them is with a spoon. The manager of church fair not far away, when asked if there would be music each evening, replied, "No," and then added, "but there will be singing" The butterfly, the butterfly, How doth the butterhy7 and why2 Because the hired girl doth make
 The round, fiat, toothsome buckwhsat eaksi Aye, thls Is why dotn Dutterny. There was bad man of New Haven Who wriggled so when he was shaven That they cut off his nose And his ears and his toes Before they could make him behaven.
 -"Money does everything for man," said an old gentleman pompously. "Yes," replied the other one, "but money wont do as much for man as some men will do for money"
 A little girl of four years was reosnt ly called as Q witness in a police court, and, in answer to the question what be- came of little girls who told lies, innc- cently replied that they were sent to bee.
 -" What" says an exchange, ''is more interesting than babyi" We should remark that pair of twins made the matter trifle more interesting to manufacturers of cradles and soothing syrup. .@.
 -" Pa," said bright boy the other day, "what is wine made of2' And the foolish man without thinking said, "Grapes." The amount of thoughtless- ness and ignorance in this world is greater than most people believe.
 Years and years ago it used to be said that girl might be willing to be kissed when she voluntarily put boy hat on her head. This cannot be true for hundreds of pretty girls are now wearing the little round Derby hats and looking well under them.