Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-06-19
sips of Fun.

to keep the same secret, but on
ly after two of them are dead.
Whether he is great or small
set that man down for a foo
who boasts that he does no
read the local papers.
In the pathetic little poem
published the other day, for th'
line, "Oh, sister, mourn not fol
your dadP' please read, "Oh
sister, mourn not for your deadI'
IF the devil has a fair chance
at you once he will be sure tC
look your way again. There is
an old proyerb to the effect that
when the wolf gets one lamb be
looks for another.
The flea, says the Boston
Transcript, is the politician of
the insect world. He is ever
itching for place, creates no end
of disturbance, and you never
know where to find him.
What is more deserving of
our sympathy, remarks tn e
Middletown Transcript, than a
young man with fifteen cents in
his pocket, a girl on each arm,
and seven ice cream signs in
sight.
1t is proposed, says the Nor
ristown Herald, to open a
school in Philadelphia for carri-
age drawing. Nothing ca n
draw a carriage better than a
horse, but these animals will not
be admitted to the school.
A thief is really a profound
philosopher, and always a can
did thinker-that is, he looks at
everything in an abstract way,
and if you reason with him he
is open and liable to conviction.
A naturalist has discovered
that crows hold a solemn court
at which offenders are tried-a
sort Of crow bar. We presume
no bird is tried without caws,
and that a true bill is necessary
in every case.
A gentleman from "Inieany,'
whose memory slipped on the
word "saleratus," explained to
the store-keeper that he wanted
''sum of that yer white powder
as made bread gitup and hump"
A man out West, who read
that dry copperas put in a bed
Of ants would cause them to
cave, put some in his mother-in-
avs bed to see if she would not
go. be says that she was here
1T last accounts.
1t is an editor with modesty
he most intense in the land who
writes the following: "Tiring
of their Lydia Thomson appear
lnce, the maple trees are going
iown in their trunks for their
spring and summer SUITS"
Butcher-"Come, John, live
y now; break the bones in Mr..
Williamson's chops and put Mr..
Smiths ribs in the basket for
him." j oh n (briskly)-"An|
light, sir; just as soon as I've
;awed off Mrs. Murpby's leg"
A little boy once called ont
o his father, who had mounted
lis horse for a journey, "Good-
,ye, papa, | love you thirty
niles long" A little sister
added, "Good-bye, dear
,apa; you will never ride to the
nd of my love-"
An Irishman adorned with a
'lue ribbon went into an apoth-
cary shop and said to the clerk,
If ye PLACE, sir, Pm temper
nee man, but if ye have any
oda water of the strength and |
uality of whisky, I'll trouble |
on for little"
Lawyers are not all of them
lars, but most of them can get |
uch a small fact and build on
such a wonderful structure of
ogical deduction that the men
D whom they are indebted for
be fact does not know it when
e sees it.
Ben Franklin, says the Bos-
On Courier, sold the bottle in
Thich he imprisoned the light
ing TO a Jerseyman. He and
is descendants have been dilu-
ing 1t ever since, but it is still
trong enough to paralize a man
three hundred yards.
She was a lady passenger in
ne of the transfer coaches which
un from the Shoe-Fly depot,
fter becoming tired of Keeping
till, she turned to the driver and
sked: "How much further
oes this horrible hill runw John
eplied: "Clear to the bottom,
ladam."
Soon it will become necessary
Or men to put padlocks upon
heir lips while they sleep. A
rominent citizen of Detriot, ,whoE
ad no doubt indulged in a late
upper of champagne and oys-.
4 !