Weekly Trinity journal., 1879-03-22
DOMESTIC DIPLOMACY.
How Jones Secured the Respect of
Mrs. Jones.

mrs. JONES'
Mrs. Jones was standing in be: back
yard feeding the chickens, when Stone
wall jackson came running in, crying as
though his heart would break, and told
her that B III Brown had slapped him for
nothing. Mrs. Jones never said word,
but she grit her teeth hard, and went into
the house to cut cabbage, and chopped it
so fine, thinking it was Bill Browns head
II at you might have shifted It through a
cob-web. While Jones sat eating his
dinner that evening, Mrs. Jones told
him of the outrage that had been com
mitted, aud asked him what he was go
to do about it. Jones ponGered. Bill
Brown was fully twenty-one years old, a
shining light in the Fire Department,
pitcher in base ball club, and had the
general reputation among experts of be-
ing "a good man." After considering
these things carefully, Jones come to the
conclusion tina: the best course to pursue
was TO treat Brown with silent ontempt.
and SO he told his wife, adding, by way
OF parenthesis, my dear, such cattle are
beneath our notice"
"All right, Mr.. Jones, "sald Mrs. Jones
"if you'r not man enough to protect
yoIr family, thank God! I've got II
brother" and she swept from the room
with a look that Jones knew too we'll.
He had seen that same look on his wife's
face once before, when he brought a
friend home 10 dinner on washing day;
and he knew it meant war. There was
no help for it; il flashed upon Jones with
the swiftness Of lightning; there would be
no peace in the Jones family until the
insult of the morning was wiped out with
blood.
That night the boys were all sitting in
a neighboring beer saloon. and the genial
proprietor was telling them what he
would do if he got the nom ination for
Alderman. The gentleman, whom we
will call Nike, because that was not mis-
name, was an ex-prize fighter, could
barely write his name, and WAS in MAN.
other respects especially qualified for an
Alderman. He kept good beer and offer
ed it with that lavish iberaity and
recklessness for expenditure for which
! ViGks burg candidates are famous, Jones
came in, took lis pro rata of beer and
sat him self down to med itate upon the
| Brown affair. At last a happy idea
seemed to strike him; he called for another
"shoo fly" and rubbed his hands and
slapped his knee in gleeful anticipation.
At last he said to Mike, with careless
air, mike, is Bill Brown one of your
supporters?"
"You can just bet your munkeymuck
on that" said Mike; there's boy | do
stand solid with"
"That's strange" said Jones.
"What's stranger" said Mike, with
that uneasy, suspicious air SO common
among candidates.
"Oh, nothing" said Jones, mysterious.
ly; 81 don't think I ought to tell"
"Jones," said Mike, solemnly, "if
you're friend Of mine you'll tell"
"Well, l will" said Jones; "but you
must keep it confidential"
IAN right; go ahead" said Mike,
anxieusly.
"Well," said Jones, 81 just came
from he Centennial bar-room, AVID heard
Brown say that you didn't know you7
head from a shot gun; that he caught
you one day reading newspaper up
side down; that he'd sooner vote for the
lowest dowa niger in the ward than
vote for you, and that, if yoL wero
elected. city scrip would go down to
FIVE cents on the dollar, and taxes go
up SO high you couldn't reach them
with balloon"
Mike put on his hat and coat, and
made a bee-lne for the Centennial bar
room.
Jones went home and sat down on
the front gallery, smoking his cigar
with that peace Of mind which only one
can know whose bosom is distended
with the proud consciousness OF having
done a good action.
About half an hour afterward he
said to his wife, who was standing in
side:
Mrs. Jones I don't think Bill
Brown will hit our boy any more"
"Why2"
Come and see."
Mrs. Jones steppen TO the window and
looked out. They were bringing Brown
home on a shutter, with both Of his
eyes bunRed up and his nose dripping
blood at every pore.
Mrs. Jones turned to her husband
and sad
Darling, can you forgive me?"
Jones drew himself up haughtily and
replied, with whitening sarcasm: Mrs.
Jones, | dom, thing | am able to pro.
tect this family; you'd better send for
your brother"
Mrs. Jones was crushed.
O.
NATURES ReMEDY.- People who
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