The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1879-06-28
THE GALLAGHER DIVORCE CASE.

THE GALLAGHER DIVORCE CASE.
my name is Gallagher" said the
stranger, as he entered Colonel Browns
law office. II called to see you about Il
suit for divorce
Take seat said the colonel
In the first place" said Mr.. Gala
CHER, want to ask, can divorce be Oh
tanned on the ground of general incompat-
iblityo
~ dunno" said the colonel 81 must
ascertain the facts
Because, if it can, want you to be
gin sixty-eight divorce suits for me to-
morrow, upon the ground"
Sixty eight?''
Let me explain. You see, about four
years ago went to Salt Lake City, and
was converted to the Mormon religion.
When | joined Bishop Grubb said |
ought to marry, and so proposed for his
six daughters, and SO We were consolidat-
ell at once. On the following Thursday
the Bishop died. He left eleven widows.
His executors pointed out that might
probably assuage their grief and get
tirmer grip on the property by talking
them out of their lonely condition. SO |
married them, and also pooled i'll two sis
ters of one of them, living in Idaho, and
g -1,.,
single, and had a east in her eye.
That made twenty, did it, observed
the colonel
Twenty. Well, then, the impression,
your honor, naturally got around that |
was marrying man, and SO the twelve
apostles at their next meeting sealed to
me four widows and IN old maid that
were drifting about the settlement with
no one in particular to look after them,
and as | took the act good-naturedly, why
on the following week. Bishop Know got
the apostles to pass over to me a job lot
of his relations; including two aunts, one
grandmother, and second cousin, and
Bishop O'Toole threw in a step-sister, a
mother-in-law. and three miscellaneous
orphans, who were related to nobody. So
you see l was gradually getting quite
little family about me-
Il see,' said the colonel.
"And then, your honor, if any unat-
tached women would come along in emil
grant trains. they were always ordered to
be married to me SO that eventually, in
addition to my other wives, had gather
ed two Welsh women, an old lady from
the Sandwich Islands, three Peruvians,
the widow of Japanese acrobat, and a
Kickapoo squaw. l thought the hands
of the church were little hard on me,
but had to submit
did you have a happy HOUSEHOLDER
50 Tam just coming to that. | can t
say that we were all perfectly congenial,
our tastes differed SO. The Bishop Grubb
delegation, for instance. would want car
omels for breakfast in the morning when
the folks from Peru were determined to
have CLAIMS. Bishop Knox's detachment
would insist on cleaning house at the very
time when Bishop O'Toole's relations
wanted to give party. If the Sandwich
Islander and the squaw wanted to boil
log or two in the Soup-kettle, there was
always fuss with the other women,
and the Mrs. Gallagher who came from
Japan used to make the rest of the ladies
furious by turning somersaults in the
parlor when there was company. and by
standing on her head on the piano-stool.
! As for waShday. Well, one wanted it on
Monday, another would have it on Tues
day. and so on. If there had been thirty
seven days in week. we should have had
washing going on eaclrof Them.
Precisely. And then Emeline, one of
my first batch of wives, hadstudied med
icine, and she was always practicing upon
the others. She introduced hopping
cough to the family in order to try a ia
vorite remedy of hers. Imagine sixty
eight women in one house, with the hoop
ing cough. And then she put ipecac in
their tea few weeks afterwards, to see
fit would give them asthma; and it did.
The whole crowd went around gasping
for BREATH and l think the Mexican
woman is probably short-winded for life.
| demonstrated with Emeline. but the
very next day she tried to vaccinate the
old lady from the Sandwich Islands by
boring hole in her elbow with a gimlet."
Don't mind you, eh:''
No. And so one day, about three
weeks ago, brought home a poodle for
Julia. one of the younger ones. This look
ed a little like Partially, and ofcourse
the sixty-Scven others wanted Il poodle
apiece at once. Now. I'm not able to
pay dog tax siNty-eight times a year, SO
declined. saw there was trouble brew
ins, and the next day when came home
every woman of them had a dog of her
own: been out and bought item. They
ranged from blood hounds to black and
tan terriers. demonstrated and then
well, the women began to cry, and that
set the dogs to barking, and then Lucinda
went for Julia back hair and the other
ladies joined in, and the dogs pretty soon
began to engage in the controversy, and
in a few moments what might have been
happy family circle was Il good deal
more like copy of the battle of Waterloo.
So fled and took the first train for the
permanently, and what want to know is
I if can have those sixty-eight marriage
bonds united. Money is no object, so
that can get loose.
POWER OF MEMORY.