Louisiana capitolian., 1879-12-20
Ihe gouisiana Qapitolian.

Wne 4ollsl'lNa QgapllollaN.
OFFICIAL JOURNAL OF THE PARISH
"Forget not thine own importance"
is an Old prOvcrb. IT'S about the only
thing some men don't forget.
II must have been slippery weather
when the prodisai son returned, as it is
said the old man s4ell on his neck"
A young fellow remarked the other
day that when he kissed his sweetheart
he always closed the blinds or pulled
down the curtain.
A recent picnic was turned into hOl-
low mockcry by every fellow remember
ing to bring u corkscrew, and depending
on somebody else to furnish the bottle.
"Don't you think" said n husband in
~ mild form of rebukc to his wife, "that
women are possessed by the devil !"
"Yes," was the quick reply, "as soon as
they are married."
"Green strectw called ont the c0nduc-
tor. "Greens treat, eli 7" calculated an
individual in the corner of the car. ''All
right (hic) just lieye drink off Green
(hicys any other man."
Boy, see here! A tcn-year old boy in
Maine hid nnder the lounge to hear what
his sister Mary's beau would say. Light
ming struck the house, ran along the
floor and---dcad boy.
A bachelor, upon reading that "two
lovers will sit up oil night with one
chair in the room" said 1t could not be
done ufless one Of them sat on the floor.
Such ignorance IL painful.
That was on observing boy, If he was
but six years old, who said: "Papa, |
wish you'd quarantine against Tom
Jones comm here every night to see
Jane--it's got to be too epidemic"
lie promised to cleave to her; and they
went to the threatre, and when he came
back between acts with u piece Of cork
in his whiskers, she knew by the fra
GRANGE he exhaled that he had Glove.
The Rochester Herald feels called upon
to deny that Susan B. Anthony has any
children. Considering the fact that she
never had any husband, the Hcrald's
kindness becomes Mt once apparent.
Father (who is always trying to teach
his son how to act while at the table)-
"Wcll, John, you see that when | have
finished eating I always leave the Ia
bic" ,John--"Ycs, sir; and that is all
you do leave"
A horse in Chicago drank two gallons
of beer in mistake for water, and about
fifteen minutes he danced around the
wagon and wanted to know who run
that town if he didn't. 1t affects every
thing just that way.
When city becomes infested with u
band of old and young croakers, they
work more harm than good, active
band of robbers. When thus afflicted,
the greatest boon it can pray for is a
few magnificent funerals.
''IIow came you to fail in your exam
ination 7" asked a tutor Of one of his pu-
pills; 81 thought ] crammed you thor
oughiy." "Wcli You scc," he replied,
"the trouble was that you crammed me
80 tight couldn't get it out"
"Gcntleman in road: care you call
in' that ould baste of yours o clever
hunter, BarncyW Gentleman in gar
den: "Jndade am thin. He's always
huntin'-for bit Of something to eat,
and bcdad, he's clever when he finds it,
In this world man is likely to get
what he gives. Mems hearts are like q
whispering gallery to you. fyou speak
softly a gentle whisper comes back, il
you scold you get scolded. With the
measure you mete ont it il measured to
you again.
A young lady was endcavoring to i'm.
press upon the minds of her Sunday
school scholars tho sin and terrible pun.
isb'ncnt Of Nebuchadnezzar, and when
she said that for seven years he ate grass
like COW, she was ast0nished by lit
tic girl who innocently asked: "Did
E2e give mix 4
Out at the camp meeting, about tif.
teen miles west Of town, the following
brief remarks were exchanged between
member OF the cloth and a green, gaw-
Ky country youth: Parson-"Young
man, are you looking for salvation ~
Grecny--"No, sir; l am looking for Sal
Jackson"
Anogro down the road undertook to
outrun the train ~ it was getting nnde,
good headway, and when ho picked
himself up, after being thrown twenty
feet and landing on his head, he said
"You don't ketch this here chile doin
dat again. It's u right smart wonder
didn't tear these britchcs clean off,"
A pOetcss sings: II love thee every
hour" That's right. Girls who love q
fellow only four or five hours out of the