Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-12-06
BON MOTs.

BON NUTS.
Grant is a great soldier. Are we to
receive him as such Grant was poor
president. Are we to honor him for
that?
Silly poetry should be written on both
sides of sheet OF paper, so that it will
not be published when the editors get
hold OF it.
With all the Frenchman's boasted
economy in culinary matters. he never
thinks of serving up lamb in its own
"capers."
A young lady attending balls and par
ties should always secure femal chap
erone until she Is able to call some male
chap her own.
The rage for decorations has not yet
extended to buckwheat cakes They are
still mad plain. and are seldom nailed
up on parlor walls.
The chief end of man is the end that
has the boots on-at least SO says Inn
MINIS, who has been courtlng Smlthers
daughter against her fathers wishes.
"Perhaps Hanlan and Courtney viii
row race some day. Lite is short.
and there is another and better world,
but water may be scarce there.
The American public is so very fond
OF foreign things that it will swallow
New Orleans cotton seed oil when it
comes back from Italy in olive oil bot
ties.
The farmers are now laying in their
winters fuel. and the more grown-uP
dau ghters the bigger the woodpile. AL
lowance must, OF course, be made iof
sparks.
Shakespeare never repeated. There
. was little boy in Kentucky who re-
, sembles the great bard in this particular
y He very thoughtlessly twisted a mules
J; tail.
f The Yale students intend to give VI
T. boat racing and play. football instead
/. Even at that game they will find pro
Y fessional ready to saw the ball in two
r Richard Grant White wants new
$ grammar on the go-as-you- please plal
tor the use OF spirit mediums who re
e ceiye communications from over tn
> river. =,
|, Butler loses his office. of course, bu
i he made the boys in the campaign H.
e miles of bunting manufactured in nj
e factory, and little profit comes IN
- that.
~ Some magazine writer says: -
70 woman becomes sensible al twenty
five." Then the woman is trequentl
about one hundred and thirty years ahea
of some men.
20 An editor headed a column OF sele'
I'd tions "Men and Things" aud his WI
n mussed his hair, under the lmpresslo
of that the last part OF the heading reierre
is to the other sex.
1e A Warsaw man recently invented
III combined hammer and can-operer. U
ot fortunately tor domestic science, the fir
be can he opened was a can OF nltr0-gl
he cerine. He got it open, though.
IL To the Okolona South fern States:
,h Have
~. You
IL Heard
he From
an OHIO?
,h The performer who enters the llot
-, den in Coles circus is named SAINT
al Conkling. He IS not afraid so long
i. the managers keep the lion out ol I
ir- nonchet.
Die When a man says he is innocent OF
lie CTlu0, any lulGuCl -IhoAoSi"e' W
Sc, subject seems to him like persecutl'
ers With Morton and Chandler putr go
ro there is great responsibility restl
,ut upon Private Da!zell. He should WI
zen up we'll this weather.
OF Send an American girl to Italy
as' study. and her own papa will not kn
go her when she gets to be prima don
De Miss Julia Wheelock, of Boston,
'hu learned to warble, and they call
hu- Guilia Valoa.
;th When tool is young he spends mi
NO.. time in parting his hair in the mid'
80, When he IS old and bald, he wastes MI
Nv more time in trying to make the G
,,.i OF his sparse locks meet on the polis
Md crown above.
ass, Mr.. Spurgeon said the other day
hus now, as in the days of Luther, L
all stand glaring at the truth like cows
.wo new gate. Does he mean to i'm
that when they are tired OF standl
put they do as the cows do, and lie?
49,