The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1879-07-17
The Great American Medical Experts
of Memphis.
From the Avalanche.

The New Orleans doctors not only
know all about the diseases of the earth,
including yellow fever, but have repu-
tstion as practical jokers which should
be world wide. Their latest practical
joke was in declaring quarantine
against Memphis on information that
several sporadic cases of yellow fever
have appeared in this city. The i'm
preston has been universal for several
decades that if not actually his home
when in the United States, New Orleans
is Yellow Jacks favoIite summer resort.
He appears there oftener, and remains
there longer after arrival, than anywhere
else in the country. There he is recog>
nized as an old friend aud boon compan-
ion; and he hangs his hat upon peg in
the hall and takes his seat at the table,
like one of the family or the Oldest girls
most indefatigable beau. There are sew
eral things known to New Orleans phys
sicians which are apparently unknown
to the crazy END of the Memphis
medical department. One of tn Sc is
this That during the summer
succeeding a yellow fever epidemic year
sporadic cases of the disease are almost
certain to occur. Like death and taxa
ton, and poodle dogs and black cats,
thew are inevitable. But SIS these medi-
cine men also know that epidemics do
no. proceed from the poison cleft over"
and manifested in "sporsdics," they
permit no mention of such cases. The
records of the disease revealing no dan
ger to the community from them, the
facts are bottled up, There being
moth ng in them tc warrant panic, the
material lie not furnished. 1t would no
doubt be within the bounds of truth to
estimate the sporadic cases Of yellow
fever in New Orleans this season at
twenty-five but pe the number large or
small, common sense dictates saying
nothing about them.
New Orleans is calm as George Wash
ington's hatchet to-day because nobody
could find two or three physicians with
miniature luna.ie ssylums organized
and in successfxi operation in the airy
'csyerns understood to be occupied by
their alleged minds. But for this fact
they might have evolved from their
inner consciousness an able panic, COM
pared to which the one that recently
spread itself out on our railway trains
and steamboats, was but q slight agits-
ton. So, not having stock of medical
iunatics on hand, the ways in charge OF
the New Orleans board of health decided
to furnish fun for the boys by quaran>
timing Yellow Jacks .tavorite summer
residence against our poor little half
starved sporadics.s The act was done
solemnly, with faces grave as the doxoi.
ogy, but with suppressed laughter
gently percolating the medical sleeve
It is in owning an assortment OF
medical lunatics ofprodigiouslung power
ti1at Memphis lays over" New Orleans
Not that we do not perform that feat in
whatever else we undertake, but 1t is
unnecessary to sound &ll our own praises
at once We are viking to enter the
Memphis medical luastic against any
Competitor New Orleans can trot out of
the medical stable, and back him with
odds that would stsrtle, q Rothschilds. |
We Rir enter him in sweepstakes against
the combined world. Eleven hundred
million dollars to q brass button, that
given 6 sporadic case of yellow fever SIS
q basis of operations, the Memphis med,
ical lpEatic can become frightened
quicker, and wsbble on the gudgeon
oftener azd more thoroughly than any
other lunatic that his eyebslIs can glare |
more horribly, and his legs can travel |
faster, and his tongue can reel off more
panic literatMre to the square inch than
anysother ten lunatios In the country,
and that when once started on the grand
rounds he can illustrate vital force
equal to iorty thousand horse power
: Il is useless for any Of the nsny en-
vious, gangrened rivals of Memphis to
attempt competition with us in medical
lunaties. We are peculiarly blessed in
this regard, ard our resources are bound
less. Yet we are not proud. Far from
it. Though thus exalted above our fell
lows, we are still willing to meet our
sister cities on terus of comparative
equality. Wes are not at al Stuck up"