Daily Republican., 1879-10-30

| CATO saw ". he WAlkeu over w ~
seized 1t in his mouth, and as he wen
up the street 1t was hard to tell dol
from dust.
"Hum yes !" muttered the butcher
"do you call that trick 7"
81 do" confidently replied the man
"Wsll, it's q blasted mean one ~
"Just so-just so," said the man.
"You couldn't expect such q looking
dog as that to be around playing tricks
on q guitar or q jewsharp, could you
I'll see you later about the hams"
A TRuE CAsR.-"What makes you
look so glum this morning." asked
man as he dropped into friends offict
the other morning.
"We have had trouble at the house,
"Water pipe burst"
"No."
"Wife lick you"
"No. much"
"Come now, what is 1t, a boy or
girl"
"Girl."
| 81 congratulate y0u.'
"Whst for?" She died last night"
"Oh, then it's deathf" said the other
we'll, Pm really sorry. Laura was a
! fine girl.
"Yes she was; and she was just
fourteen, and was getting interesting
and strong enough to help do the wash
| inc and hOuseWOrk,0 ~
And then No. passed out and left
the mourner to his meditations.
Nor RAD.-"W--, do you know
why you are like donkey ?"
Like donkey" echoed W,
opening his eyes wide. "No, !
don't"
"Do you give it up'"
81 do"
"Because your bstter-halt is stub
bornness itself"
"That's not bad. Ha ha! I'll give
that to my wife when l get home"
"Mrs. w." he asked, as ne
sat down to supper, "do you know
why am like donkey :"
He waited moment, expecting his
wife to give 1t up. But she didn't.
She looked at him somewhat commiser-
atingly as she answered:
81 suppose because you were born
so.'
The following pleasant thing in the
way of definition occurred a few days
since in one of the public schools OF q
city in Massachusetts. A member OF
the committee, Captain -, was
visiting the school, and the class hsv-
ing read from Webster's at Plymouth,
the captain asked the class, "Who was
Webster ~
One boy said statesman" another
ian orator." :,
"But what is a statesman ?" asked
the captain.
"a man who goes around making
speeches." answered boy.
"That is not quite right" replied
the captain; 81 60 around Sometimes
making speeches, but l am not states
man."
A bright little fellow spoke up: ~
know. 1t is a man who goes around
making good speeches."
How MAGGIE FELL.-"You ought to
have seen me-" said the vivacious
young lady to the minister I'D Just
got the skates on and made start when
l came down on NY"
"Maggie!" said her mother.
"What! Oh, it was funny! One
skate went one way and the other'n
t'other way and down ! came on
NY"
Margaret !" rsprovingly spoke her
father.
"When what? They scooted from
under me and came down on my"
Margaret" yelled both her pa
rents. l
"On my little brother who had me
BY the hand, and liked to have
mashed him. Now, what's the mat
.er %
The girls mother emerged from be-
,ind the coffee pot, sigh of relief es-
,aped from the minister, and the old
yentleman very adroitly turned the
in political channel
IN. Y. Star"
AWIsE DEAcoN.--"Deacon Wilder,
want you to tell me how You kept
Yourself and family we'll the past sea-
ION, when all the rest of us have been
lick 80 much, and have had the doctors
visiting us 90 often.'
"Bro. Taylor, the answer is very
asy. used Hop Bitters in time kept
nv family we'll and saved the doctor
ills. Three dollars worth Of it kept
Is we'll and able to work all the time.
III warrant it has cost you and the
eighbors one to two hundred dollars
piece to keep sick the same time.
"Deacsn, I'll use your medicine here :
fter."