New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1879-02-19
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
Strange, but they don't reap the ice
harvest with icicles.
1t is better to have even . cur fawn
on you than snap at you.
TO remove paint from door-posts,
back up against it when it is fresh.
The richest man in the world IL
he who is contented to be just what he
Il.
Iii temper and smoke are about
equal in their ability to drive man out
of the house.
1t must be eminently right and
good to rise early-Because it is 80 in.
humanity hard to do it.
Toads and frogs were originally in
troduced into the Sandwich Islands to
exterminate cockroaches.
"A glazier should take pa,,es to get
putty wife. There is no copyright on
this joke, anybody can use Hogan
Gazette.
The Lancaster ga people prose-
cute at law the conductors of all trains
which 90 through the town at rate
faster than five miles an hour.
"A movement is on foot in Cal
fornia to drive the big nickel five-cent
pieces out of circulation, and put the
little silver half dimes in their place.
The man who will tell one lie will
tell another about the first, and after
that the dam is broken and you may
look out for q freshet.-N. Y. Herald.
The women clerks in the Treasury
Department are said to excel as count
ers Of bills, quicker than men to de-
tect counterfeits, but net good at fig
ures.
If " every man is the architect of
his own fortune" the most of them
had better abandon architecture and 90
to saving wood.-BinghaM.ton Repub-
lican.
The Dallas CTex.) Herald says that
the body of Philip Dunnell, which was
buried in 1862, was taken up a few
days ago and found to have turned to
stone.
The Five Stages of Brandy and
Water.-First-Br and water.
Second -Branny and WARNER. Third
Bran war;. Fourth-Prraorr. Fifth
-Collapse!- Punch.
-" What is meant by conscience?'
asked an English schoolmaster of his
class. "A Inward MONITOR "And
what do you understand by monitorp''
"A hironclad." replied the intelligent
youth.
1t seems singular how one horse
in a team wants to run away when his
mate doesn't, but it is probably be-
cause of hard-heartedness-he cannot
feel another's whoa.-C Cincinnati Satasr.
day Night.
When people flock into q place of
business as il they were making a run
on a savings bank, there is no occasion
for alarm. 1t is only evidence that the
establishment administrations IN.
W Sentinel. ~.
An aristocrat, whose family had
rather run down, boasting to pros
porous tradesman of his ancestors, the
latter said: ''You are proud of your
descent. am on the opposite tack,
and feel proud of my ascent"
Revenge is sometimes gained by
making an impudent rctort, as in the
case of the student who said, in re-
Spouse to reproof for the lowness of
his position in the class: ..Well, pro-
lessor, never mind. Ipresume I am as
much to blame as you are" ~
Two little girls were talking to
each other on John street, this morn
ing, and one said with the greatest
naivete: eve have a new school
ma am, and she don't know nothing
| Ga pause)-she don't know how to
whip Scholar Kingston (M. ~
Freeman.
These are the days of economy.
Yesterday, a man was having silver
doorplate engraved, and he requested
that blank space be left below the
name SO that his age could be added in
case it was desirable to use the plate
on his coffin, after his death. Turner'S
Falls Reporter. n
We sec that q man In Connection,
was killed, the other day, while 9 try.
ing to board q freight-train.' There
is reason in all these things. No doubt
when the man took the freight train to
board, he gave it q saleratus biscuit,
rye coffee and strong butter for break.
fast, and tough mutton three times q
week for dinner, til! in q fit of dyspep
STA the freight-train rose up and killed
him. Boston Commercial Bulletin.
LONGEVITY is not such an exceptional
thing even in these hard times as many
croakers would have us believe. In
the Worlds column of funeral adver.
tisem ents this morning, which may Ike
taken as average evidence so far as this
city goes, will be found invitations to
the funerals Of nine persons who were
residents Of this city and its suburbs,
and whose ages ranged from seventy tc
lightweight. OF these four were octo'
genarians.-M I; "orld.