Daily globe., 1879-07-13
Miscellaneous Gossip.

Miscellaneous Gossip.
The goat always gives evidence in re
buttal.
Many young man dates his happiness
from his wedding day and many anoth-
er don't.
It is an old saying, but a very pretty
one, that blush is like a pretty girl, for
1t becomes q woman. Il
An exchange tells Of an Alabama lady
who cries nearly all the time and yet
fat. Her fat is laid on in tiers.
The Germans, the world over celebrated
for their thrift, have maxim that sspaint-
ing is no expense
Mathematlcians must stand one side
whe the green grncer's clerk takes his
pencil from behind his big ear and pro-
ceeds to divide seven by one.
At the close of the sermon the minis
ter became impressive. Raising his voice,
he SAID Judgment! Judgment and a
small boy in the yestlbule shouted "Out
on first p
"That man came TO this city forty years
ago, purchased a basket and commenced
gathering rags. How much do you sup
pose he is worth now?" We gave it up.
IN ~ othingg, and he owes for the basket"
Tourist (who is staying in the neigh
borhood for the fshing): els it possible
that you keep the pig in the house with
you ?' Pat: ssAnd why not surr
Sure, isn't there Everything in it that the
cr'athur would want 2'
A cabinet maker can make a flower
stand the hottest day ir the season, but a
washer-woman can't make linen collar
stand more than fifteen or twenty minutes
after the mercury crawls out at the top
of the thermometer and begins to climb
the lightning rod.
Tourist; s'Well, my man, what way do
| go to Inverness? Tonald without open
ing his eyes, straight on" Tourist: ''If
you can show me a lazier trick than that
III give you half crown Tonald
(withont opening his eyes J 'Just drap it
in ma pouch
''Ma, has sister Floy ever travelled any?''
S'No, child, no." s.Then, when was lyin'
under the sofy Sunday night, and sister
and Mr.. John come in from church and
was settin' in the big rocking-cheer,
how come her to say that the incest land
she ever was in was Lapland?''
Too many of us are in the very doubt
ful position of the poor fellow who
Writhed under numerous gosslpy reports,
and who at last published card Of de-
fiance in which he declared that not a
single one of the lies IN circulation about
him were true.
A wag brought horse driven by a
young man to stop in the street by the
word 'SWhoa," and said to the driver;
'sThat's a fine horse you have there.''
eyes, answered the young man, ssbut he
has one fault. He was formerly owned
by butcher, and always stops when he
hears calf bawl."
A larger beer seller. being asked by a
peddler if he wanted spices or cloves,
the following colloquy took place: Swat
for | want um?'' asked the proprietor.
''To take away the smell of beer from the
breath, Of course, exclaimed the peddler.
"Take away dot smell Of beer!'' ex-
claimed the man behind the counter;
''my Gott! you got Something's vot makes
der smell stay on, l buys him'
Lady Clara Robinson (nee We're de
Vere) is subject to fits of radicalism.
After suddenly informing her daughter
Gwendoline, that kind hearts are more
than coronets, and simple faith, than
Mormon blood, she gives her permission
to go and play with ssthose nice daugh-
ters OF the people," Gwendoline Robin
son -..You :. may play with me, little
girls!' Small daughter of the people,
"If you please, Miss, mother don't like
us to play with strange children!',
Robert Burdette, upon his return to his
sanctum at Burlington. says: s'l have
acquired such easy, familiar relations
with the people Of the house that the
baby has already emptied the ink into
one of my boots and the mucllage into
the other, and is drawing map .ot
Hawkeye creek on my coat with piece
Of beef gristle and glass of milk His
mother tells me should not let him do
it, apd perhaps she is right, but wll...s am
| to do? He seems to enjoy it, and
know I do, and what was this world
made for if it wasn't for pleasure?"
They are so precocieus iu the neighbor-
hood of Worcester, Mass. my little
seveu-yearold girl,'' writes friend sswas
in the sitting room alone with her uncle,
and dreamily looking from the window.
Without turning her head, she said
s'Uncle Horace, eight and seven make
fifteen, don't they?" He replied that she
was right. ''Then," said she, in half so
liloquy, "lt is only eight years before
shall have beau, and, oh! I dread it.''
| A manufacturer of cod-liver oil thus
defes competition: "The Goldfish in the
open sea are pursued by whales, SHARKS.
ETC., and live in continual terror; hence,
like all animals under the same condi-
tlons, have liver diseases, jaundice, and
the rest. avoid the mistake of ordina-
ry manufacturers by obtaining my fish
where no marine monster can gain access.
They live peaceably and die healthy.
This is why my oil is the best
Queen Victoria's Privacy.
Is it not possible that a not unnatural
inclination on the part Of the Queen to
pnard auAinst aYhihitiOns If snOhhnru