Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1879-09-20

an exchange, was one Of tho "'nisset
aches' of Moses.
"ThOse whom the Gods love die young.
That's what becomes Of all the honest
advertising agents.
The man who frequently makes thu
remark that he is a gentleman is afraii
that people will not otherwise find it out
Cunning men alwuss git beat in thu
long run, bckauso they are just as dull
on one side az they arc sharp on the other
The rooster that will leave his crow
half crOwed, to gObble worm, may moi
be musical success, but we will bet OF
him for all that.
The hardest thing in theworld for 9
young woman to do is to look uncon
cerncd the first time she comes out in q
handsome engagement ring.
1t is said that Harry Hyams propose:
soon to get out patent on the Capito
Ian punch. He wants lawyer, how
ever, who will take his fee in "sort"
A Pulaski boy recently swallowed q
pcnknife. Although not quite out Of
danger, he finds some consolation in the
fact that the knife belonged to another
boy.
After the storm had ceased, lie re.
marked to his wife, "Gucss the storm il
all over" EYES," she replied, call ove1
the ground" He only said, Ttssnow
joking matter" This cutter little.
An honest Hibernian, in recommending
a COW, said she would give milk year af
tor year without having calves. "Be
cause" said he, Kit runs in the brade
for she came of COW that never had q
calf"
The other day the lightning struck q
powder magazine near Brighton, Ill.,,
containing fifty-one thousand pounds OF
powder. You can't just imagine how
astonished the lightning was tho next
second!
At crowded concert, young lady
standing at the door of the hall, was adj
dressed by an honest Hibernian who was
IN attendance: "Indade, miss, should
be glad to give you safe, but the empty
ones all all full"
A woman raised to the third power OF
widowhood has the photographs Of hel
three departed lords in a group, with a
vignette of herself in the center, and
underneath is the inscription, 'rhe
Lord will provide"
1t was in Bolton, Bell county, Texas
He got out in front of q store, and Of
fered reward of twenty five dollars foI
Texas lieutenant. 1t was in vain
every man present ranked as major
colonel or general, except the judges.
In Issaquena county, Miss, the Dem.
ocrats and Republicans have agreed on
fusion ticket, half the nominees being
white and half colored. Make haste
take q photograph Of the ticket and send
it to the bloody shirt editor of tho Clevo
land Herald.
"What is the difference between one
yard and two yards7" asked the teacher
in arithmetic. "a fence" said Tommy.
1t isn't exactly clear whether Tommy
sat down on the rulsg or the ruler sat
down on hi,n-certam it is, something
was set down on!
The Greensboro Home Journal re.
ports that on Sunday Of last week, at the
residence of Capt. L. B. Wallis, a Negro
boy about years old fell into a well ZOE
feet deep, but strange to say, was not
seriously hurt. Monday evening he
drove up the cattle as usual.
81 am glad" SAID an illiterate preacher
"that the Lord has opened my mouth tc
speak" "And we'll you may be-" was
the rcioinder, "for he never did such q
thing but once before" "And when was
that |" asked hcpreacher. Gin Balaams
time" was the conclusive answer.
A hairpin is useful article to a wo.
man. 1t serves the purpose of tooth,
pick, bMtton-hook and hair fastener, but
all this is no excuse for having one in
your pocket different to the kind used
by your wife. We make no charges
against the editor of the Livingstonian.
GLOW came these holes in your ell
bows ?" said certain Baton Rouge wild
ow to her irrepressible son. ooh, moth
er, I hid behind the sofa when j T
was saying to our julie that he'd take
her even if you had to be thrown in; and
he didn't know ! was there, and SO
held in and laughed in my sleeves till
l busted EN-"
A new novel is called "a L.ady's Four
Wishes" An old bachelor-Harry Gould
is not the only bachelor within the ra-
dius of a thousand miles-says he hasn't
read the book, but he knows what her
wishes are: "F'irst, q new bonnet; Sec
ond, a new bonnet; third, new bon
net; fourth, new bonnet" Indignant
females should be cautious, for like
Hyams, they can't hurt a single hair on
the top of Harry's head.
D A small boy was sent to the country to
board short time ago. He promised his