The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-04-17

Grades, $SS5D4. 10; ButcnerS' SCOck, ta.00
@39O; Stock Cattle, $2.75@3S0. Hogs
Good to Choice, @aOO@4.05. Sheep-Poor
to Choice, s375@5.75.
MULTUM IN PARvO.
MISSISSIPPI exempts printing offices
from taxation.
LIFE is too short for it to be con-
stantly filed with sadness.
TREES begin to die at their tops
men begin to dye there, too.
"PuT a bell-punch on your mouth
is the latest acquisition to the slang die
tionary.
If you are in love, just constitute
yourself a "Teller Committee" of one,
and settle the business.
A GREAT many people in this world
closely resemble the letter E, and be-
cause it is always to be found in debt.
WHY are your nose and chin con-
stantly at varianceP Because words
are continually passing between them.
The Philadelphia Times remarks that
there is scarcely town in this country
50 small and respectable that it can't
afford a walking match.
LET US all be merry; brighter days
are in store for us. A Philadelphia
organ-grinder has been arrested. Phil
Gdekphia Chronicle Herald.
If you want to spoil your child give
him q kerosene lamp to play with. The
chances are that after the explosion he
will be spoiled pretty completely.
IT was Brougham who said that .
lawyer is a very learned gentleman
who rescues your estate from your enc
mics and then keeps it for himself.
An old bachelor says that he's been
SO often deceived by the chicken of
these restaurants and clearinghouse
that he calls it "the mecking- Bird
AN admirer of Weston, O. Leary and
other /" tramps'' purchased a copy of
Walkers Dictionary. under the inn
preston that it was a work on pedes-
trianism.-NorristoaUn Herald.
In view of the increasing number of
female lawyers it may be necessary to
remind jurymen that women's tears are
very easily started and seldom mean
anything.-Ios0a State Register.
THAT was a neat bull one of our
clergymen perpetrated in his sermon
the other day. Speaking of Bunyan in
prison, he said: "No one but his
blind daughter came to see him.
Springfield Union.
A CHICAGO woman is going to try to
keep her mouth shut 5000 quarter
hours. If this new departure should
become epidemic, what a mighty peace
would settle down over this troubled
land!.Oil City Derrick.
Texas papers are praying for the
whipping-pOst. The San Antonio Her.
aid has heard of a negro who stole q
box of sardines valued at twenty cents,
and was sent to the Penitentiary at q
cost of 81 900 to the State.
The Philadelphia Times shows that
the attendance at twenty nine churches
of that city on recent Sunday was
81, 974 women and children and II, 314
men. OF this number $4,000 were
Roman Catholics, attending four
churches.
THERE has been q remark able case
of constancy in England. A man who
separated from his wife thirty-five
years ago has just returned and Of
fered to "kiss and make up" A few
days prior to the offer the wife had in
herited large estate.
THE Rev. DR.. Rhea, a leading Meth
odist Episcopal preacher at Daven-
port, Iowa, created much excitement
among his pensioners recently by
preaching a sermon in which he ia
vored the entire prohibition of relig-
ious teaching in the schools.
LORD married charming
woman. She died, and he married q
lady with a temper. Some one called
on him the other day and said, "Where
is your wife?" He answered, "She
is in Heaven. l am not; Lady - is
in the drawing-room.''--London Truth.
PRESIDENT GREW, when asked lately
to write something in q lady's album,
put in the following sentences: "Life
is like game of chess; each one holds
his rank according to his quality, but,
when the game is over, Kings, Queens,
Knights and all the rest are thrown
into one common box"
THERE are many curious ways of
making money, and this is one of
them: Two young men of Cayuga
County, New York, make a business of
going from town to town and represent
to the owners of cats that their prem
ises are running over with rats and
mice, inquire whether the lady has not
a cat or two to spare, promising to
take good care of them and return them
in week or two. In this manner they
frequently make big bag in few
hours, and driving off to convenient
shelter cut the cats throats, skin them
for their pelts, put the hides in their
sleigh and are ready for another round
in pursuit of their game. They get
fifteen cents piece for all the pelts
they can get, and are making money
"hand over fist
A SNAIL THAT WOULD NOT STARvE.
An Egyptian desert snail was re-
ceived at the British Museum on March
Is, 1886. The animal was not known
to be alive, as ithad withdrawn into its
shell, and the specimen was according
ly gummed, mouth downward, on to q
tablet duly labeled and dated, and left
to its fate. Instead of starving, this
contented gasteropod simply went to
sleep in quiet way, and never woke
up again for four years. The tablet
was then placed in tepid water and the
shell loosened, when the dormant snail
suddenly resuscitated himself, began
walking about the basin, and finally
sat for his portrait, which may be seen
of life size in Mr.. Woodward's "Man-
ual of the Mollusca." Now, during
those four years the snail had never
eaten q mouthful of any food, yet he
was quite as we'll and flourishing at the
emo Of the perod as he bad been at the
acknowledgement.
"A gentleman who has recently
visited London tells of the remarkable
influence of the Christian life in that
country from the popular singing Of
the Moody and Sankey hymns. The
same story comes frore other countries
in Europe and elsewhere. This mod
ern American Sunday School music, &C
~r~~,nk <,,s%sosnoA aud o~oovAoA a. h~o II