The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1879-10-01
WIT AND WISDOM.

your finger Oh q wasp, he is there.
Dead men tell no tales, and that
IL the reason coroners find out SO III
tie.
a Texas steer can scatter
street band, but he can't blow his
own horn.
The lilies of the field have pis-
ills; and every wideawake citizen OF
fair Texas is "arrayed like one OF
these"
Chicago has 343 churches: She's
bound to have the same things as
other cities, eveI if she has no use
for them.
The doctors will be busy for the
next two months attending to people
who have returned from their health
getting trips.
The sexton looks upon the min
lister very much as the Snowman does
upon bis liye-legged ass, or his man
with the iron jaw.
"A writer stated in a recent obit-
uary notice that "the deceased was
born in his native town, where he
has ever since resided"
in all the important fossil dis
coveries of the past thirteen centu-
ries, no fossil has yet been found
that was as big as its name.
slave you mother-in-lawr'
asked man of dlsconsolate look
Ing person. "No," he replied, "bu'
have father in jail"
No matter how bad and destruc
tive boy may be, he never becomes
80 degraded or loses his self-respec
sufficiently as to throw mud on cir
Gus poster.
Lightning is cratic. 1t kille
thirteen sheep grouped around
barn in Ohio, and never thought 0
meddling with two tramps who wer
inside on the hay.
"A mules head does not contal
brain capable of culture and re
fined healing, but it is wonderful t
what an extent the other end of hi
form can be reared.
A mud-turtle can neither ii.
sing, gallop, laugh, cry or so blacl
berrying, and yet If they are Il
alone they get along just as we'll I
the young man who tries 10 be funr
ut q lawn party.
When filling cavity, DENTS
sometimes place dam in the p
tieuts mouth. When tooth is b
ing extracted, the dentist is reliev'
of that duty. The patient suppl
oil that are required.
1t was in the sixteenth centn
that woodward men first discover
how TO pile the sticks erossways
the box, and larrup q customer 9
of one sight on every cord. Do'
look upon it as new thing.
--Correspondeut-"Wil the edit
please inform me where my fam
can 20 on Sundays and be cool a
comfortable without danger of bel
crowded. Answer, by the Roch
ter Democrat-Go to church.
An Irishman who stood near
third base watching game of b
ball was sent to grass by foul I
struck him under the fifth rib.
fowl was it? begorra, / thought
swuz mule"
"A Michigan girl coaxed her
er to take her buggy riding,
the horse ran away and killed
Showing this paragraph to the g
will be thousands of dollars in
pockets of our young men.
AT q wedding recently, when
clergyman asked the lady, ~
thou have this man for thy wed
husband?' she, with a mode
which lent her beauty an additlt
grace, replied, 'Ifyou please"
Cyrus W. Fields habit of ca
ing one hand under his coat
will get him into trouble some
Some man will think Cyrus is a
a pistol, and when man thinks
he works to get the first ''dfop."
"A man who has the cheek to
mp ''bittcrs'' containing ninety p
cheap whiskey and The remaiI
dog-buttou, and then advertise
stuff as "a friend of temperan
would think nothing of stealing
hot lime kiln.
A great many morally incl
business men will tell you that
people of today are not as hone