Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-04-02

the observation that 1t was a remarka-
bly, prominent nose, Of the Roman per-
suasion, which was peculiarly adapted
to pulling, blowing and snufftaking.
Be that as it may, the widow had been
heard to remark that it was a well-dis-
posed nose, indicative of intelligence
and pleasant disposition, upon which
hint, fragile as it may seem to you, Jack
founded his hopes.
Bob Carter, the garrulous sewing ma
chine man, was a dapper little fellow,
confident, conceited and effeminately
pretty. He attacked the widows affec-
tons in dashing way, which, after all,
is the proper mode Of attack, and was
ready to swear, that he could have her
hand at the asking. any time. So fully
assured was he of this, in his own mind
that he did not regard anybody else in
the light Of competitor at all, and
therefore he was on the kindest terms
with poor, easy Jack, who, despite his
manifestations of good feeling, could
have eaten the little agent up in his
jealousy.
AS to the willy widow, she encouraged
them both; but, shy coquette that she
was, she encouraged everybody, and it
would have taken smarter man than
Jack to know, just where. if anywhere,
her affections were placed. Yesterday
his own hopes scared buoyant as toy
balloon, but to-day they fell as fiat as
that same balloon when it collapses in
mid-air; and thus his spirits rose and
descended like the mercury Of a Their
mometer in our tickle climate, Just as
they were thawed or frozen by the
smiles Or frowns of the widow Lamar.
Upon this Christmas eve his spirits
were down, away down below zero, and
Jack was disconsolate, so that when the
flowing bowl presented itself as the
nepenthe for his troubled.,soul, he read
lily accepted it. Bob, the egotist, joined
in his carousal from reasons entirely
different His heart was bounding
with the hope of speedy success; ''and
tomorrow" he said to Jack in his great
pomposity, "the widow shall know her
fate. I will present myself to her as
Christmas gift" Alas, so little did he
know, so little do any of us know what
the morrow or the whims of a tickle
widow may bring out. Jack cursed the
fate which had not provided him with
the "gift OF gab," and those other advan-
tages which a sewing machine agent
seems to be favored with more
than other mortals, and he laid the
blame Of his discontinue ali upon his
unfortunate nasal appendage. If it
weren't for my Internal nose," he solilo-
quized, 81 should WOO the widow and
win her" But the fumes of the egg
nog permeated his brain and softened
all his harsher thoughts, SO that when
he found his room and crept between
the cold, white sheets Of his bachelor
bed, it was with milder feelings toward
all the world, not even emitting his
poor despised nose. Such Lethe, dear
friends, is egg-nog, into which we may
plunge with our sorrows, our dreary
forebodings and our petty hates, and
forget them one and all.
The bells that rang out so loudly, so
clearl y, SO merrily on that Christmas
morning, awakened Bob Carter from
his heavy slumber, and babe him arise
from his couch, array himself in his
very best attire and proceed to the con,
quest. He rubbed his eyes and listened
to the mighty clamor Of the many bells,
and they were more than Christmas
bells to aim. They were bells Of VIC
tory, ringing out to the world the hap
ply tidings that Bob Carter had gained
the lovely widow and assumed control
of the clearinghouse. No more ad
justing of sewing machines for him.
ties, and broken threads, and dull
needles, and lost stitches for one and ALL
Never again should he hem or fell. Or
braid, or cord, Or pucker, or tuck. He
had removed his foot from the treadle,
he had detached the belt for all time,
and henceforth some less fortunate in
dividual could run the machine.
"This is the propitious day, and I
hear victory in the air. he exclaimed,
springing to the floor, and straightway
going about his morning additions.
He had not advanced far in his exer-
else, when it occurred to him that he
should awaken Jack. At once proceed
ing to Jacks room with this motive, be
raped at the door. but there being no
response, he turned the knob and ent-
cred, with the express purpose of pull
ing Jacks nose and arousing him from
his stupor; as we have already intimat-
ed that his nose was rather suggestive
of pulling, the fact will probably account
for the mischievous intention which had
arisen in Bobs mind. It was yet early
and the room was quite dark, but pass
ing his hand over the bed he felt the
PROSTATE form of his friend through the
heavy blankets which covered him.
Softly continuing his search, he present
ly detected Jacks heavy beard beneath
his touch, and, almost Immediately, his
fingers closed upon the object OF his
quest-but good heavens! the nose was
cold as an iceberg and hard as stone
Like a shock a battery, the awful
thruth flashed through Bob's brain, and
he clutched at the bed-post to save him
self from falling, as his lips parted, and
he gasped:
'My God! he's dead"
And then the horrid reflection seized
him that he was there alone with the
king of terrors-all alone with the cold
r. L