Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-01-30
Sips ofFun.

a widower.
The Hindoo widow is the onl,
one that cremates-the other
Iremate.
1t seems but one short yea
since we sung, "Oh, the snow
the boot-full o snow"
"Be careful how you punctu
ATE the stovc," is the latest. i
means MOTTO put too much colon
The general depression il
! trade seems to affect even thC
days-they are very short just
now.
"Remarks thai are uncallcd
for" said the p. NJ, as he mail
ed a postal card to the Dead
Letter Office.
Getting drunk, the Boston
Post thinks, is one of the great
est hindrances to temperance in
the country.
1t is estimated that every
man who lives t. be sixty years
old, has spent seven months of
his life buttoning his shirt collar.
Edison is at work on a patent
lever. lie says he expects to
be able TO raise anything with
it except, possibly, a minister's
salary.
"Rather than touch another
drop of liquor" said a Jealous
convert at a temperance meeting
at Alton, ILL.,, the other night, 81
would take a razor and blow out
my brains"
The Scientifc Americ can
states th1t rapid aud continuous
action of the lower jaw will stop
bleeding at the nose. There are
frequent instances where such
action has brought it on.
Dan Rice's horse Excelsior"
has died. This year he died
about month earlier than he
has for the past twenty years.
These annual winter calamities
to circus men are what make the.
profession successful in the sum
mer.
When placed under a micro
scope the sting of a bee pl eSents
a polish of dazzling beauty, but
when placed in the end of a
mans nose it takes. on the SEM
blance Of a rat-tail file dipped
in vitriol, and brings out words
as rough as a grindstone.
J. w. Riley contributes to the
Toledo Bladea poem entitled "The
Song [ Never Sing Whereupon
the Albany Journal remarks "If
the song you never sing, Riley, is
My Grandfather's Clock may
Heaven bless you, and your aunt
in the country leave you all her
property"
This is story of what hap
pened not long since in the Pine
Tree State. A new Baptist
wished very much to
be baptized by one minister and
to join the church Of another.
She went to the first, and asked .
him if it could be done. EYES,"
he replied, 81 could do it, but /
lon't take in washing"
A Brooklyn woman's husband
tried to hang himself the other
lay, but was cut down by an Off
,er and carried to the police sta
ion. Next morning, after the
Court discharged him with a eau
ion as to what he might expect
f he tried it again, his wife said ::
'Your Honor, will you have the
police give me back that clothes
inc p
A colored child had fallen
rom a second story window, the
other day, and his mother, in re-
ating the occurrence at the gro
Gerry, said: 'Dere, dat child was
1 coming down feet fust wild
every chance of bein' killed,
when de lawd he turned him
over, and de chile struck OH his
head, and d0re wasn't so much
IS a button flew off"
Every day we have evidence
hat the small boy has no soul.
The other day a crowd gathered
around farmer whose wagon
Dad of butter and eggs was fast
n a mud hole, and while some
suggested that he pull his horse
zee, and others haw, the ever
present small boy yelled, dts
no. use, mister. Yer cid horse
init stout enough. Take him
,ut an hitch in roll Of yer but
,er."
'Do yeu think, writes young
student of human economy, ''do
you think the human race is de-
,aying?" Not at all-not at all.
Part of it isn't decaying because
t is yet alive and the portion of
t that is dead doesn't decay be-
,ause the medical student don't
rive it a chance. Oh, no! the
human race was never, i'll all its
\ L !