Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1879-11-22

dr ldllAlllAl tiN y - - AhAAN Jaw nav AtA
ken i'm hand the destiny OF these two
obstinate individuals, and soon brought
matters 10 a most satisfactory cOnclu'
sion, though the unconscious mediator
was rather q burlesque on the high trag-
edy, daily enacted.
There lived close to these beligerents
a gOod-natured old man, nearly as deai
as post, who had the greatest faculty
for laundering on unfortunate facts oil
any individual known either in ancient
or modern history.
lie never heard anything correctly,
and it was an utter imposslbility to try
to explain, and ii you attempted it YOU
would find Yourself Laundering in a
perfect slough Ct despair.
Miss Sallie and Mr.. Popkins had re-
ceivee notice that their case would
come up for the final hearing, in Har-
row. on Tuesday OF the next week.
Miss Sally concluded TO take the stage
Uncle Ben Dropper, our deaf friend,
had business little distance on the
road, and he would take the stage too,
and Mr. PopkinS' saddle horse fell sick
Just rs he was needed, and there being
no time for other arrangements, he
must take the same conveyance.
Miss Sallie came floating down TO the
gate with white ribbons and bows, and
dainty dress, sufficient To bewilder a
man with as stOney a heart ~ the
sphynx, and SAW approaching from the
opposite side her foe, in immaculate
brOadciOth and shirt front. For a mo-
ment the blood rushed Ia her cheeks,
AMI she half resolved To 20 back,
but To be outdone by man,
and he Popkins, was not to
be thought Of. 50 she stepped
into the coach with an air of sixteen
Queen NictoriaS, elevating ner head
until ID made IN acute angle with her
nose and became Sublimely unconscious
OF any ones presence. Mr. Popkins
seated himself "a though he had swal-
lowed whole foundry, and had his
pockets full of eggs for dessert. Just
then came Uncle Ben, pulling and blow
ing, utterly unconscious OF the oaths of
the impatient Jehu.
Good morning, Miss Sallie," said he,
carefully seating himself beside her.
"Good morning, Mr.. Popkins. Where
might YOU be going, and what for?'
"To Harrow said Mr.. Hopkins, in
his most polite manner, answering the
first question, and ignoring the last.
"Du tcll,' and the round face fairly
beamed with placid surprise. "Going
To marry? Well, | told Hester last
night that was the best way to settle the
suit, after all. There amt no more capa-
bic girl any where than Sallie, and am
glad YOU found it out. And Mr.. Pop
kins is wonderful clever turning to
Sallic, "instead Of there being two farms
and lawsuit, there need be only one.
Law, bless me - rubbing his hands with
increased satisfaction, iii it amt a tip
top arrangement
Mr.. Popkins clutchcd at his throat "a
though he were choking to death, and
made SpasmOtic efforts to utter a word
of explanation, but his tongc was utter
ly palSied and failed him in this emer-
gency. Miss Sallic, with lace of the
deepest rose color, placed her hand to
her mouth, and shouted so as To Startle
the horses
81 am going to see Mr.. Stiles on bust
ness"
Oh. day of blundcrsl Mr. Stiles was
her lawyer, but the unfortunate girl
was unaware that 4 Presbyterian minis
ter had the same delightful Cognomen.
"NIr. Stiles said our fried, well,
I've heard him well spoken OF, but !
never expected YOU, Sallic, Baptist, Ia
bee married bv any one but Il minister
Of your own church; but | suppose you
gave away To Mr.. Popkins, and It shows
a downright good disposition
Miss Salhe gave up in dispair, and
looked iiedly out of the window, while
Mr.. Popkins' lips moved occasionally As
though hc were asking for water, but
the unconscious cause Of this turmoil
sat serene and happy, indulging IN an
accasisnal chucklc and knowing glance
at Mr. POpkins. but at this moment he
saw ne had arrived ut his destination,
and wishing his two victims much hap
piucss, he left them To their thoughts.
The human heart is strange affair,
10 say tine least of il. Had any one al,
Ell Mr. PopkinS to marry Sallic, he
would have rejected the idea imme-
diatelv, and she herself would have Ia
ken il n an insult hut the totally uucX-
pected manner in which the matter had
been brought up made altogether dill
fercnt affair of II. lie stole 4 glance nj
Miss Sallie. Her face was turned away
and she was apparently studying nature
She was pretty; Mr.. Popkins could not
deny that. What it-if-and his heart
gave tremendous bound. What foo
he had been allthiS time, Wcmust try
at any rate, and risk rcpulSe. 80 with
ont any more hesitation, for our hero
was brave. lac took Uncle Bcu'S seat, and
said quietly:
Miss SIllic.'
The face turned Just the eighteenth
part OF an inch toward him. Not
much encouragement, certainly, but 4
little.
Miss Sallie, he repeated, 1--WE beer
a fool and a brute
ON. wise Mr.. Popkins, he had started
on the direct road 10 wuman's heart
Either from cuntrariness or a sense o.
Justice they always take the opposite
side. Miss Sallie made up her mind
from this moment that lac was gen
tleman and Il solomon, and she turned
her face completely around Tor him Il
admire.
"Do you think he continued, "that
We can settle this lawsuit in the sensi'
bic manner suggested by Uncle Ben:
DO love You, Miss Sallie, and by George,
| believe / loved YOU all the time, and
never knew it till to-day
Miss Sallie was completely vanquish-
ed. but the answer, although whispered,
was heard above the noise of of the
wheels and The cracking of the driver 5
whip.
The suit of Popkins VS.. Hopkins was
dismissed that day. The Baptist min
lister got fee, and the people are firmly
convinced that Mr., and Mrs. Popkins
are the very best hands in the word to
keep a seacret.