Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1879-03-08
Grandfather Lickshingle INDUCES IN
Fl 4 Another Renaissance.

Grandfather Lickshingle was very in
dignant the other evening when he as
certained that the newspapers were
giving prominence to the fact that a
Pennsylvania Burgess knocked down
an Alderman of the same place, and
then fined himself for disorderly con-
duct.
"That's nuthin'." said he, stabbing
the floor spitefully with his hickory
cane, Sand the newspapers are losin'
caste, an dignity, an money every day
of their lives by noticin' such small pO-
tatoes Now, when l was Mayor OF
New York"
"Why, Grandfather, you were never
Mayor of New
Yes, l was--forty or fifty years
afore any of you uns was born; was
elected by the largest majority ever
given to a candidate; run agin Gen.
jackson on the Democratic ticket.
Jackson was hard-money Republican.
A man named John Sherman legged
for him, but l busted 'em both wide
open, and marched into the Office to the
music of the Union" And Grandfa-
Their, remembering the degeneracy OF
the times, remarked, "An' no cipher
dispatches, either, my dear children"
and wiped away a tear with the butt
end of his cane.
81 never forget any thing | recol-
lect,n continued Grandfather, land, If
am not mistaken, this was in the year
seventeen hundred and somethin'. A
man came into my office enc day to get
building permit to dig well, an we
had some words about how deep the
well should be dug. The man wanted
the privilege of diggin' it deep enough
to find water, but I told him if he did
that he would have to take out a water
permit also, which would be 'leven dol
lars extra"
Grandfather paused to pull hair out
of his nose, and then continued:
81 disremember correctly whether
the man got mad or whether got mad
but suppose it was the man. Anyhow,
it resulted disastrously for him, for your
grandfather Immediately knockad him
down and stepped on his stomach. Did
| assess fine of five cents or SO against
myself, and make q great hoorah about
it in the papers, like this miserable
Pennsylvania Dutchman? Not if the
Court knows herself appreciated the
great truth that / had been elected to
preserve the peace and maintain the
honor and dignity of the Common
wealth. So said to myself: See here,
you old bald-headed snipe of the valley,
what in thunder did you do that for?' an,
without givin' myself time to answer,
| struck myself over the head with a
mace and fell over into a corner. Be-
fore had time to rise kicked myself
several times in the ribs and caved in
thirteen of 'em. Then clapped pair
of handouts on my wrists, showed the
muzzle of pistol in my ear, and march
ed myself off to the Sebastopol, where l
entered charges against myself of incitin'
an insurrection, manslaughter in the
first degree, abusin' family, drunk and
disorderly, common drunk, coat-thief,
an so on and SO forth. Now that's the
way your grandfather did business, re-
marked the old gentleman, again smit-
ing the floor with his stick.
"Hold! stop! There was more than
that" exclaimed Grandfather, after a
moments thought, and he hastily emu
merated the charges against himself.
Your grandfather didn't stop there,
children. Come to think of it, turn
ed myself loose on the wide world on
my own recognizance, and said if ever
was up again for hearin' would go
out for six months, or there's no here
NJ