davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-07-11
JOSH BILLINGS

hav finally cum to the konklushun
that if | kant prove thing without bet
ting 50 on it the thing haz got dred-
phull weak spot sumwhere.
Q. What Is the best religious kreed
to hav2
A. Charity. If man will swop off
all the religious kreed he has got on
hand, and invest the proceeds in charity,
he will alwus be proud ov the job.
Q. Will you pleze define an enthusi-
A An enthusiast is a party who be-
lieves about four times az mulch az he
kan prove and kan prove about four
times az mulch az emmy boldly else be-
lieves.
Almost emmy phool kan prove that
the bible amt trGi it takes wize man
to believe it.
1t liz a wiZe man who profits by hiz
own expeEience-but 1t IL a good deal
wizer one who lets the rattlesnake bite
the other phellow.
Yung maa. SIT down and keep still /:
yu viii HAY plenty of chances yet to
make phe.i "a yourself before va die
Take ali the rh.-.ls out ov this world
and there "''u:d:1 he envy plum nor
profit living in il.
Iwould as soon think ov pulling the
feathers out ov peakok's tail, as TO in
terfere with the innOsent vanity Ov a
man.
Married life IL a little game, in which
the woman, IL she IL called, il almost
sure tn have q strate Hush.
The man who knows a thing, and
can't tell 1t in the fewest words, liz the
hardest kind ov man tn beat in kross
examination
The things that I kant prove 1 believe
s .l.c most; believe that one apple is sour
and another is sweet; but ] VIII give
emmy highly eddicated man span of
matched mules who will tell me what
makes them so,
The smartest thing about emmy man
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-07-11

The following extract from the Com
mOnwealth written to that paper from
Wichita, speaks for itself We COM
mend it to the consideration of the read
ers of the NEWS:
"a set of resolutions have been drafted
by some of the leading Republicans of
the city, stating the failure Of the ex-Rebs
and their allies to provide for the sup
port of United States marshals and their
deputies, and declaring it to he the pur-
pose of the Republican party to stand by
the government and support it at all
times. Ii is therefore asked of the party
adherents to subscribe one dollar, sub
ject to the order of President Hayes to-
ward making up the $500, 900 to pay the
above officers. One hundred and TWEEN
ty-five names haye been added TO the
list. A copy of the resolutions have
been sent to the chairman of the Repub-
lican central committee of each town
ship, with instructions TO circulate and
return to the chairman of the county
central committee Immediately.
l speak of the above because of its
novelty, and because il will show the
great Estate Rights" "Our cause is just
white Liner" "FOrt Pillow massacre u
party that we can maintain the govern
ment in the little $780, 900 matter much
easier than at the sacrifice of million OF
lives, rs in the palmy days of treason
and comprehension. The money can be
raised in ten days, if necessary. Woe t.
the solid south for their little game OF
1879"
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-07-11
BUSINESS ITEMS.

Middle Tennessee has 800 brandy dis
tilleries in operation.
The Toronto Globe says that American
paper manufacturers are buying all the
poplar wood they can ind i'm the Can
adian Eastern Townships. They pay 81
cents load in the tree, and thus the
farmer reaps a return for wood which
is almost valueless for fuel.
Several of the lawyers of the Darke
County CO., bar are in trouble. In order
To make out strong case against a rail
road company they hired and instructed
men TO describe an accident that they had
not seen. A verdict was gained ON this
peUured testimony, but new trial has
been ordered.
The value of the straw hats and bon
nets manufactured in New england, an
nually, is about $20,OOO,OOO. Nearly all
this product is from Massachusetts, the
chief factories being in Foxborough,
Medheld, Upton, Midway, and Mans
field.
A beet sugar factory, the second in New
England, ;is,to bet11flt at once in North
ampton, Mass. Over 300 acres of beets
will be raised in and around NOrthamp-
ton, and the bond has been given that
the factory, with all the necessary ma
chlnery and fixtures shall be ready to
start up as soon as the crop is grown.
The danger of transmitting disease bv
books has been investigated by the Chi
cago Public Library directors. They
have corresponded with physicians and
librarians in various parts of the coun-
try, but not one has ever know of a case
of contagious disease having been i'm
parted by book from a circular IL
brary
The Episcopal church at Westfield,
Mass, is in part supported by mission
airy fund. Rector Cooley INDUCED in
as much ritualism as the limited means
woGld hermit, and the congregation
seems TO have liked it; but Bishop Pad
dock gave warning that the supply of
money would be entirely cut off if that
style OF worship was maintained. The
rector resigned.
A new kind of crockery, designed to
I'LL the place OF earthenWare to some eX-
tent, has been recently introduced. 1t
consists of cotton pulp, or felt, glazed
with composition into which dissolved
glass largely enters. 1t is a durable,
elastic material, possessing neither the
great weight nor brittleness of earthen-
ware; but it has yet to undergo the test
of general USE
Mr.. and Mrs. Bowlan parted in San
Francisco, and the wife began a suit for
divorce. The disunited pair met in a
cemetery by appointment, one day, to at
tend to the removal of the remains of
their only child. Mutual grief for the dead
little one appears to have softened their
luminosity toward each other, for they
agreed on the spot to become reconciled,
Mrs. Bowlan promising to drop the law
suit and live with her husband again.
But her heart hardened as soon as she
was out of the graveyard, and when, on
the following day, Bowlan visited her to
complete the reconciliation, she told him
that she had changed her mind. He
thereupon murdered her.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-07-11

mans wounds are healing, and he is
able to move about the room.'
Does he feel all right, and will he be
able to go TO work again 80
Il am afraid not" He spoke in a low
doubling tone of voice, which revealed
the fact that there was more of the story
than BigelOw had yet related. Pressed
to tell the full facts in the case, he said !:
well, the man eats and drinks; seems
TO be afraid of other people, or more Gu
rIous than afraid, and is affected strange
ly by the heat and cold. But he can
neither read nor write; does not know
the use of books, plates or knives and
forks. He is not able to talk, but cries
out very loudly, or jabbers in an inartic.
ulate manner. Once in a while a word
can be distinguished, but the man does
not appear to perceive any difference be-
tween it and his jargon. The animal
life has been restored, but not the spirit
ual. The mind, with all its component
parts, has gone, fear never to be restor-
ed"
This is, indeed, wonderful achieve
ment of science. 1t may seem too Won
derful for belief, but your correspondent
can vouch for the great responsibility of
the persons named They are gentlemen
OF high standing, and the proof is ire
sistible.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-07-11
KANSAS CROP ITEMS,

The OATS crop has improved wonder
fully in the last two weeks, and fair
average crop will b0 the result, while
many fields will produce largely.
Burlington Patriot: So far we h ave
not heard OF piece of wheat that was
put ia early aud thoroughly, that does
not yield from twenty to thirty bushels
per acre. 1t pays to put wheat in early
and give the ground thorough cultiva-
ton.
HumboidI Union: we near of some
farmers who have already threshed their
wheat. Among this number is II. ii.
Hayward, and We learn that his average
is seventeen bushels To the acre. With
him the yield per acre is greater and the
berry better filed than his crop of last
year
Smith County Pioneer: Harvest in
smith county commenced over two
weeks ago. The winter wheat is nearly
all harvested, and great deal of il is in
stack The crop is a good one, and will
compare favorably with that of the best
season we ever had. Spring wheat also
looks well, and will make good crop.
Jewell Center Monitor: John Leaf
has 100 wild raspberry bushes set out on
his place, which he has cultivated, and
this year be has picked 24O quarts OF
Berries from them, and we cannot sec
but they are fssll as large as the Nam
moth Cluster berries and better favored
He has two kinds, which he got from
two different places. One kind bears
much larger fruit than the other.
Bridge iemS in Salina Journal
Winter wheat will not be as good as eN
pected. The late dry weather did MOI
let the berry fill out as il should; and u
will be more or less shrunken. Spring
wheat and oats are coming out better
than was expected. Corn looks promising
Early potatoes are making their SECOND
growth. GardeR vegetables are scarce
aAd gardening so far this season has not
been q success.
The AntA0Ry (Harper County, JouFn
al says: But on the other hand
we can show you some of the best whea
crops, secure In the stack, and the larges
corn fields, and tallest corn, that yoa
can find In all the country round about
eye have scarcely suffered at all from
MV&Rt of rain; we have had no DESTRUCTIVE
Aail storm. no grasshOppers to speak OF
no potato bugs. Can Sedgwlck say 81
smuch aEG say it truthfully.
Smith County Pioneer: Six week
ago the prospects OF d bOuntiful harves
in this part of the state were indies
gloomy. Since then rains have beeI
abundant, winter wheat has filed, and
NOW harvested, and the greater portion
.afthe crop is in stack. The yield viii
heanIly Us good, if not better, than las
wear. Spring wheat is now looking fine
dkeheads are full and well developed
and che crop is so far along that tn
seNerest Aconth cannot effect AZ. Henc
I'VE may say that an abundant wines
crop is secured TO the Smith county ia
mers.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-07-11

hiZ Conscience; he may outrage hiz
reason or stultify hiz faith, but he kant
beat hiZ Conscience.
The best thing l kno on is fust rate
wife, and the next best thing IL a second
rate one.
There amt nothing that man will
thrive so we'll on az abuse that amt
merited.
Whenever yu cum acrost Il man who
distrusts everybody, yu hav found one
whom 1t IL safe for everybody to dis
trust
1t IL the surprises ov life that add most
tn our plezzures; one man " surprized
with legacy from Il ritch unkle; an
other that the old spekled hen haz lust
cum off the nest with twenty-seven
chickens
Gamblers nor infidels haven't faith
enut in their professions to leach it IL
their children
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-07-11

to Texas for trial by the United States.
The marshal had no money TO pay the
necessary expenses, and telegraphed to
the marshal of Texas, but he was in the
same condition. The postOffice agent
thereupon started for Texas with the
prisoner, the stage company carrying him
on trust, and the agent providing for the
prisoner for eight hundred miles Jour
ney, and guarding the desperate night
and day himself.
Tobacco Classification
WASHINGTON, July 10.-The postOffice
department decides that packages bear
ing internal revenue stamps can go
through the mails as fourth class mat
ter.
By Cable Gae;ttiOGi.'l Bill.
VERSAILLES, July 9.-Tip Chamber
of Deputies yesterday, by pte of 3S1
to rs, rejected the amendmo t0 Jules
Ferry's educational bill, ints..,luced by
Modier de Montjeau, aiming IL the pro
hibitiOn of all religious orders.
The. Dead Prince
LONDON. July 9--The troop ship Oren-
ties, having on board The body of the
Prince Imperial. was sighted oil Eddy,
stone lighthouse, at one O'Clock tins af.
ternoOn, and is expected at Spithead at
HiiuuiS hl, "liCi tIlc p'uy VIII nc tFdns-
ferred 10 the admiralty packet for con
veyance to the Royal Military Academy,
at Woolwich
Duties to be Increased.
BERLIN, July 9.-The adoption of in
creased duties upon grain and cattle, SO
strongly demanded by the agricultural
interest, and supported by Bismark,
seems to be assured, compromise hav.
ing been affected with the prOtectionist
manufacturers.
Expensive Warfare
ST. PETERSBURG, July 9.-The Galos
estimates the expenses to Russia of the
war with Turkey to he eljO, 600. 900,
and that the deaths in the Russian
army numbered 100000.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-07-11
THE MAN FROM THE REAR CAR.


a couple were occupying a middle
seat in the ladies' car, having got on at
way station. Probably attracted by the
Invisible facinatIOnwhich never fails to
bring about contretempts, a gentleman
from "a rear car came in and took a seat
Immediately behind the pair. There
was shock of surprise as his eyes first
fell upon them, and deadly pallOr over
spread his countenance. But this was
for an instant only. Then a flush sue
ceeded, and a queer smile began to play
around the corners ofhis set, determined
lips. An hour passed. The billing and
tient and evidently an interested listen
er. The people IN the car began to pre-
celve that something unusual was going
on. Finally the man leaned forward
with that peculiar smile still lowering
about his lips, and said:
81 beg pardon, but you seem to be en-
JOying yourselves immensely"
The lady rose with stif1ed scream,
and wheeling around confronted the
stranger with a pallid face and great,
staring eyes. Her companion was no
less disconnected. He, too, had risen to
his feet and stood uneasily looking at
the intruder, flushing and paling by
turns.
OOAy II HGlo COL11C dJ WALL
ed the woman.
The stranger was cool and impertur-
able.
you did not expect to see me, did
your"
Heavens knows l did not" exclaim-
ed the lady, from whose eyes the tears
had begun to trickle
"Well, it's not unusual; people often
meet under peculiar circumstances, l
suppose you are on your bridal tour"
The lady covered her face with her
hands and sank back into her seat. She
had already begun to sob Historically.
81 happened along this way by mere
chance" continued the stranger. az
am going west to Leadville. 1 thought
would try and do something for the
inasmuch as you have left us.
But trust you will not let this acct
dental meeting disturb your enjoyment
The woman was moaning in abject
misery.
II wish you all sorts of happiness, and
will no longer intrude upon you. This,
ladies and gentlemen" facing around to
the spectators, ais my runaway wife
and her lover. They are very nice peo-
pie - and then turning away he stalked
out, leaving the guilty couple alone in
their humiliation and shame. At the
next station they quit the train.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-07-11
w2St3
State of Kansas, Lyon county, in the Probate
court for sand county. in the matter of tha

State of Kansas, Lyon county, in the Probate
court for SAID county. in the matter of the
estate of K III. Ruggles, deceased.
To whom 1t may concern: Notice is hereby
given that l, the undersigned, administrator tx
OF said estate, having aScertaIned that the
personal estate in my hands will be Insufl-
cient to pay all the debts of the deceased did,
on July 9TH, 1879, file, in the office of the Pro-
bate Judge of said county, petition in said
matter, praying for an order of said court
granting me authority to sell at private SALE
on'time not exceeding twelve months, the fol.
lowing described real estate of which said de-
cedent died siezed, to pay the debts of said
estate, to-wit: Lot IL in block 62. in the city
of Eureka, Greenwood county, Kansas Also
the following described real estate in Lyon
county, Kansas, VIZ: The northeast quarter
oil the southwest quarter, section 25, town
ship Is, range 10; the southwest quarter of
the northeast quarter, the east half OF the
the southwest quarter, and the northwC st
quarter of the southeast quarter, all in Sec
ton 3d. township IS. range 10; the southeast
quarter of section 10, township lS range IL:
lot 20 Exchange street, lot 3 Market street
undivided half of lots 142 and IA Commercial
street, lot 2OI Commercial street, and lot 81
Constitution street, all in the city of Emporiu,
pieces or parcels of land in MOser's addition
to the city of Council Grove. in Morris coun-
~, Kansas. viz: lots 1, 3 3, -, IL and IA in
block IL. and lots g. 10, IL, u and ID in block
IL said petition is set for hearing and will
be heard by and before said Probate Court at
the office of said Probate Judge, in Emporia,
Lyon county, Kansas, saturday, August 81
1873, at IL O'Clock, a. m, at which time all
persons interested may appear and show
cause, if any they have, why the prayer of
said petition should not be granted
W2St3 5 l.. RUGGLES, Administrative.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-07-11
Thtrn'puria Menus.
EMPoRIA. FRIDAY JULY II, 1879
COMPARISON.

"Look on this picture, then on that
A reference TO the dispatches from the
several parts of the world will convince
the most casual observer of the favorable
contrast which the crop reports of the
United States hold in comparison with
those OF the Old World. From Russia
comes the intelligence that the beetle
and grasshopper are destroying every
thing in many localities. Austria and
France are almost inundated, and will
have barely one-third of a crop. Ger
many, though having a better prospect
than her neighbors, is about placing an
enormous tariff on foreign corn. The
whole outlook is of most gloomy ma
ture, and stands out in the most unen-
viable prominency when we turn to our
own more than abundant resources.
Wheat is advancing in price here, to be
sure, but it is not through any fear of a
stinted allowance, but owing to the adj
verse accounts referred to. Spectators
are holding back in anticipation of a
largedemand from foreign markets which
NCuA SNANAoNACo
showa slight decrease in area and guam
tity of produce as compared to last year,
but even then, there is little doubt that
we shall have more than an average re-
turn: in this state particularly, if no I'M
foreseen danger arises, the corn crop
will equal if not exceed the greatest yet
had, and oats, though damaged by the
dry weather in the early part of the sea
son, are promising to do far better than
might reasonably be expected. The
present season has been in many re-
spects one of extremes, but in spite
of this fact, there will be an abundance
for our own consumption, and we doubt
not u gOodly portion to spare for sup
plying our less fortunate brethren over
the water.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-07-11

To all editors contemplating absence
from duty and desiring to secure the
services of some "best friend' to NIL the
Editorial chair during their absence, we
commend the following:
DIR. McClint0ck, of the Fayette County
Iowa) Union, is the victim of misplaced
confidence. He went off with the Iowa
editorial excursion 90 Winnipeg, and
left friend in charge, telling him to do
with the paper as he pleased. The ed
itor pro tenn. proceeded 70 change the
Democratic paper to a Republican, pub
fishing this explanation:
We were requested dy the editor of the
Union to take charge ofthe paper during
his absences on the editorial excursion
ia proper manner, and as I'VE thought
best" We have cOnseieptiOusly endeav-
ored to do so. Feeling that change of
heart as well as politics would purify it,
even if il were only for q week, we have
striven 10 make good Republican sheet
out oft. We appreciate the wrath to
come, as we'll as the terror that the black
cane that We editor always carries will
inspire, to say nothing of his No. 8 boot.
Still, we feel secure, for time at least
| for, like the war-horse ofGeneral McClel-
Ian, we yjll snuff the smoke of battle
affair off. We aFe quite positive thatabout
the time McClintock comes back we will
have business in the Eastern state thai " III
detain US for some weeks. We know what
| became of John Phoenix, of California,
who transferred a Wing toa Democratic
sheet, but unlike him, we have no extra
ears or noses to Jose. We have Simply
done our duty from q literal inteTpreta-
ton ofthe editors parting injunction 70
| conduct the paper as we thought best"
< We further wish to say we are not re-
sponsible for the previous political CON-
plexion or ulteranceS OF this paper, and
| it is unnecessary TO add, for its future po-
! sition. We also think II superhuous to
say that the editor is not responsible for
lis political sayings this week. 1t may
be a case of misplaced confidence" yet
we empAatically believe in the old say
ing, with single addition, that all is
fair in love, war and politics. We would
like to place ut the head of these columns
the Republican state ticket and platform
but McClintock, who never does any
thing by halves, has electrotyped his
IoWn platform and ticket, nailed, solder.
ed and weighted it to the form, so the
readers viii have 10 take the will for the
deed. If there is anything in this issue
but what is good Republican doctrine
the reader must know that there Is
, something wrong IN Denmark" aud
, that the "devii' has surreptltiuously in
! serted it, or that the editor has returned
and Nc are knocked into "pi."
ED. Pro TEN.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-07-11
CONKLING AND LAMAR THE DAY
AFTER.
Washington Dispatch TO {
mcrcial.

Washington Dispatch TO Cincinnati Com
The contrast in the action of the two
men-COnkling and Lamar-on the
floor of the senate today was very mark
ed. COnkling joked and laughed with
his associates, and at the same time took
more prominent part in the current
proceedings of the senate than any other
member. Neither the fatigue of an all
night session nor the anXieties of pos
sible meeting with the Mississippi sena-
tor, seemed in the least to affect him.
On the other hand. Lamar was the per-
personiflcation of sullen silence and en-
shrouded gloom. He kept his seat most
of the time, his eyes cast downward,
while he nervously tore up bits of pa
per. His colleagues and friends from
the house came one after another, shak
ing hands warmly with him, and held
long whispered conversations. They
did not joke or laugh, but their very &C
ton indicated that the business ON hand
was of a solemn character. Some say
that public opinion in Mississippi will
not allow Lamar to rest quietly under
the epithets applied by COnkling, and
that if COnkling does not demand salts
faction in the manner usual among
Southern gentlemen, that he Uamar)
must. But this view of the case is not
shared by many, and the general opin-
ion is that the matter will drop where it
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-07-11

Mr. Worth OF New Harrison, Wis,
was "A remarkably handsome young man.
He WAS engaged to be married To Miss
Dakin, d wealthy girl. She pointed
what she thought was an empty pistol
at him, and shot him in the face, disfig-
uring him terribly. She now refuses to
keep the engagement, saying that such
an ugly husband would make her con-
stantlV nervOuS
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-07-11

To Julia E. Cooper, George Cooper, Anna
R. Ives and John NJ. Ives, non residents of
the state of Kansas. You and each OF you
are hereby notified that you have been sued
on county, Kansas. That the petition has
been filed in said court against you and the
names of the parties are as above stated and
you must answer said petition or before
August 22d. 1879, or said petition will be tax
en- as true and Judgment rendered determIn-
ing your interest in and quieting the PLAIN
out of you or either of You in and to the fol-
lowing described real estate. to-wit: The
northwest fractional quarter of section No. 3
in township 10 of range IL, in Lyon county,
Kansas, containing l55 "a acres, and for costs
BUCK & KELLOGG
w2St3. ATTORNEYS for Plaintiff
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-07-11
MOyinp and building.

To all who want houses raised or moved.
walls put under them, buildings leVeled up,
&c, would say that have had tWenty-fiTe
years experience in that line OF mechanical
trade, in connection with Contracting and
building" and am well supplied with jack
screws, ropes and pulleys and house moving
All kinds Of building and car
penter work done on short notice. Shop cor
pay to give me cali. P.H. RICH
d5Sm6.Wlom6