The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-10-14

TNl1nS5t,A'Ys.foSE.
BsSa|ll alIIsgR
sw II you are going to raise clad,
plant them in roes.
Rsy 1t was because George Washing
ton could not tell lie, says farmer,
that his father never sent him into town
with fresh eggs.
Ey A Mobile paper describes q young
lady with hair "as black as ravens"
The ravens weren't wearing any hair to
speak of last summer, but we suppose
the style has changed this year.
ca When you have allowed a man to
employ your knife to pare peach, you
shouldn't confide to him the secret that
the particular blade he used is a ripper
to trim corns. Somehow, it makes him
wish he hadn't eaten the peach.
BaT One of a party of six Boston boys
who are spending their vacation at
Kennebunk sent the following express
i've letter: "We dug wood-chuck out
of his hole, 1t was skunk; we slept in
the barn that night"
- .------
BD'" Healthy here Y' asked visitor
who was prospecting in the neigborhood
of Denver, Colorado.
"Stranger, yes" was the reply; "ten
years ago we had to kill two old men to
start this cemetery"
ey "What does 12mo mean 2" asked
pupil of her teacher, a few days since.
12mo; why don't you know what
that meansY 1t means the same as
d&week1y. Haven't you seen it in adj
vertisementsin a newspaper ?"
BaT A man asked for admission to a
show for half price, as he had but one
eye. But the manager told told him it
would take him twice as long to see the
show as it would anybody else, and
charged him double.
"a" My son." said an American fa-
ther, chow could you marry an Irish
girlY"
"Why, father" said the son, "I'm
not able to keep two women-if I'd
marry Yankee girl I'd have to hire an
Irish girl to take care of her."
"a A Detroiter cured a long and
severe attack of neuralgia by falling
down stairs. That's nothing. Some
years ago Norristown youth was cured
of bad habit of swearing by falling off
a cherry tree. Not single oath has
escaped his lips since. The fall broke
his neck.
ca A fashionable visitor thus address,
ed little girl: How do you do, my lit
tie dear ?'' Every well, thank you,"
she replied. The visitor then added,
Now, my dear, you must ask me how
l do" The child honestly replied, II
don't want to know
| VIZ NANSOh CoOh WoS q piOdChCl3 Wdo
a man very eccentric in speech, even to
his last earthly moments. a few hours
previous to his death, his brother, also
preacher, came to his bedside, and in
| quired, 'Do you think you are dying,
Gideon ?'' And the reply, sharp and
quick, came-' Can't tell never died
before"
EB Seven young ladies received the
degree of A. B. at Northampton recent
ly. "But," says the Lowell Courier"
chow can young woman be bach
elor?" Pshaw A. B. don't mean that
in lady's diploma. 1t means "after
bachelors" and signifies that the young
lady that received the degree is qualified
for matrimony.
ET What's orbs, Sallie ?''
"Orbs? why, as to how, Maggie
Who said so ?''
swell, you know that city chap as
was sparkling me last night, an he look
ed me square in the face, and sung out;
'Oh! if could always bask in the
efulgence of those bright orbs.'"
"Humph guess that must be what
they call eyes that squint, but what do
you suppose he wanted of basque ?'
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