Daily Republican., 1879-02-13
II UMOROUs.

When we made an excursion TO Soutl
Utah not long ago we were hospitabl
entertained by the Mormon bishop a
: Richfeld. He was Scotchman, an,
had been brought up rigid Presby
terrain. "Ah, WELL" said he, "the,
, think i'll of me at home for changing
my religion; but there is my brothe
Aleck who took II most TO heart. II,
was on his way last year to California
and turned off the road bit to see me
and to try to bring me back into tn,
fold. When he got here he spent thu
whole evening lecturiug me, and ther
went to bed. In the morning. | CAV,
him the best breakfast the country
would afford-coffee and rolls, trout,
beef and venison, steak and such like.
Poor Aleck! he looked all over the able
and then turned upon me his sorrow
full face, hurting out: Oh, Jamie, mon
jamie, mon! did ever think it would
come to this' could haze forgien ye a.
yer polygamy but hae ye glen up yer par
ritchi"-Haryer.
Agood-natured-looking young man
OF twenty five, accompanied by mod
est appearing young woman of about
the same age, evidently his wife and
Just made SO yesterday, called upon a
driswold street insurance agent to see
about insuring her life. After some
preliminary conversation the agent in
CURED what sum they had in mind.
81 want her insured for at least
million dollars !" promptly replied the
husband, as he reached over and pat.
ted her on the head.
The agent figured up the premium
and stated the amount. The wife turn
ed pale as death and the husband lost
a pound of flesh a minute.
''But take smaller sum-say five or
ten thousand dollars" suggested the
agent.
"Not cent less'n million" ex-
claimed the husband. "If she amt
worth that she amt worth nothing, and
as can't chalk up for a million we'll
60"
And go they did, stopping neither
fDr argument or good wishes.
The Rev. PANEL Isaacs once alighted
at an inn to stay the night. On ask
ing for bed, he was told that he
could not have one, as there was to I've
a ball that evening, and all the beds
were engaged. "At what time does
the bali break up!" asked Mr.. Isaaca.
"About three in the morning, SIR"
"Well, then, can have a bed until
that time 2" eyes, certainly; b1t, If
the bed is asked for, you will have to
remove" Every we'll, replied Mr..
Isaacs and away he went to get be-
tween the sheets. About three in the
morning he was awakened by loud
knocking at the chamber door. "What
do you want 7" he asked. "How many
are there Of you in here - inquired a
voice. "There are me and Daniel and
Mr.. lsaaos, and an old Methodist
preacher" was the reply. "Then, by
Jupiter, there's plenty of your and the
speaker passed on, leaving Mr.. Isaacs
to enjoy his bed.
"Im going to church tomorrow. re-
Marked weii-known citiSeh OF Reno,
VIM q ieu iaoe' Ia oaiuef Saloon.
"ns' oe'nAhdeo an as'ohashed fellow
o'u, utner.
wen, you see eAPlained 'ne gentle-
time in nine years, an felt ever so
much oe''ef IMAM II - pun III the day
Al peafo OF poker as usual. somehow
SEEN 10 MANY ~eli-dressed' decent
l'eoP'e III cfc"u' ana hearih the par
son ana 'ls' MN 10 'he hymns useo 10
kno" When was poy, maze me ieel
sort. tenuer-iiear'eo IKE. An the
zen a'ah wear away neither. I've
e'' ~ ua soou ana Pious-hKe an
n hoodlums this here minute. Coin
o church is the boss racket. Won kin
oct on that. Every leading citizen had
ought to 90 TO church.
4 do,o..,;. i, q, ,tow, Maui vor,
.,,n,, ana ,,nrr;n, h.fo,a L.ao,,fa,. {
ook the following prescription to a
lruggist in the neigh borhood: "Plesse $
i've the bearer a double dose of castor
ii with tast. disguised" Handing it :
O the clerk she sat down to await the 9
,renaration Int was apreeablv surnr;s- :
d to be soon asked if she would like a Il
lass of soda water. Having drunk it, I
he resumed her seat and waited for 1
bout fifteen minutes. She then re- p
MARKED she was "afraid the folks h
'ould be ready for breakfast if she
Id not go soon. 'Well,' said the
Jerk, What are you waiung lorF
why, lor that prescription she -
ala. Why, gave ~ 70 you IN That =
lass OF soda water some time ago. !
On, law! was the reply, was not Tor