Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1879-04-10
Anmuruus department.
A PAIR OF SMUGGLERS.
HOW THE JOKE WAS WORKED OFF WARD,
SNOWMAN.

SNOWMAN.
Artemus was lecturing, with his panorama
of Salt Lake, in Canada, and as business was
good he was in correspondingly high spirits,
and his pockets were full Of coin.
The day before they were to leave, Smith
his advance agent, told Ward that as silks
were much cheaper in the British Possessions
than in the United States, he had purchased
a large piece of silk and was going to take it
to his wife as present. Ward was pleased
with the idea, and in the same confidence, told
Smith that he had also purchased piece Of
melton cloth, and both conferred with each
other as to the best way to secrete the goods
so as to pass the Custom House.
Ward suggested to Smith to wrap the silk
around his body and Smith, in turn, advised
Artemus to place his cloth within the folds Of
his panorama of Salt Lake. They each
agreed to take the others advice, and Smith
left the next morning to 60 over to the States
in advance. The bundle of silk wound around
him made him feel quite uncomfortable, es
pecially when he came to the Custom House
and they commenced interrogating about his
baggage.
The official was very polite and passed his
baggage without murmur and then invited
him into his private office, handed him cigar
and begged him to take seat.
The heat of the room began to make Smith
very uncomfortable and he arose to 60.
"Be seated, sir" said the official, 81 want
to have little chat with you
mo; must be going" said the genial
John. II can't stand sitting so long, and
then have great deal to attend to-
"You seem to be very stoutish kind OF
man." said the officer.
EYES," said Smith, his face getting red and
the warmth from the silk increasing, "I'm
pretty solid, but can't stand a hot room.''
"Ahw said the inspector, "what's the
trouble ? Anything the matter with your
chest or lungs?''
"Only slight oppression" replied Smith
Oppression about the lungs!" exclaimed
the officer, rising and advancing towards the
sufocating agent. "Let me make an exam
ination for you, sir, it may be dangerous.
Please remove your coat"
ats nothing; it will soon pass away" re-
piled Smith, inwardly praying for chance
to escape.
"My dear friend, you should not allow
yourself to suffer moment" said the officer,
land I insist upon examining your chest
Doubtless I can relieve you of all your
trouble"
The inspector insisted and the discounted
agent, after vainly trying to escape from his
solicitation, finally acknowledged the corn,
and confessed to having the concealed silk
upon his person.
The officer laughed heartily and said: II
knew it all the while. Here's letter l re-
ceived this morning" And he handed Smith
letter written by Ward, informing the in
spector that smuggler would endeavor TO
pass quantity of silk, describing Smiths
appearance and claiming one,half Of the re-
ward for the information. Smith was indig-
nant of course, but determined to get even
with the incorrigible joker, so he told the Of:
fcer about Ward having the roll of cloth
concealed in his panorama.
The inspector appreciated the joke and let
Smith 60 with small penalty.
The next morning Artemus Ward arrived
at the Custom House with his panorama,
when the inspector commenced interrogating
him and insisted upon his letting him have a
glimpse of his beautiful pictures.
Ward tried every excuse, but the official
was importunate and finally he was compelled
to have his man unwind one section Of the
panorama before the inspector.
Artemus stood by and explained the views
until suddenly the cloth came to light, and as
it slowly unwound in front of the pictures
Ward struck an attitude like his performance
on the stage and in the drawl of the exhibit
or said "This view is slightly encountered
with twenty yards melton cloth. That Smith
told you all about it. What's the damage?"
The inspector soon settled the question of
charges, and for once Artemus found himself
caught by his own joke.