Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1879-12-31

B1mmer, to educated man on train:
" What house do you travel fora NV
own What line of goods d. Won deal
in?' Common sense" ''Well. nv friend,
must say you carry a very small sample
case. '-NcGreg0r Aelcs.
A rich Scotchman at the point of death,
said to his pastor. " Do yoI think if lefi
ten thousand pounds to the PRESBYTERIAN
church my soul w'd be saved?' II cant
promise You anything" answered the
good man. after Il second thought, but its
worth trying
Friend Or enemy, it is important to
know just where your acqutintances
stand. We have great deal of sympa-
thy with the western hunter who - OBJ
served that the rattesnrke is a squar.
honest reptyle, that lets you know when
he means to resoom business, and gives
you time to step back"
Didn't you 'splaiu to me dat if set
tied up dat account you would give ME A
'lOwance" said the darkey to the mer-
chant. " If you are ready to settle your
bill Row | will make a good allowance"
and the merchant waited for the cOored
individual to pull out his pocket-book.
{" Well, sir. hasn't got de money JUS
now. but thought I'd come in and get
de 'Iowance; my wife wants shawl"
When he went to America. almost the
first question asked him was. What do
you think Of our institutions9' and in a
very short time he gave the answer that
he though the public libraries the best
they had, and their newspapers the worst
Their newspapers were far below those in
England, because they were filled with
all kinds of ridiculous nonsense and pri-
vate little -tattle, which we do not find in
the best English journals Dean ,HdHleU
Some parlors get too full of brc-a, brac.
It becomes difficult to distinguish them
from fancy "holesae establishment Of
these articles. What do YOU think of
our parlors9' asked the lady Of Mr..
Bruf, when he had been led through the
crowded rooms. " Think there's only one
thing you need now said the pJain spok-
en- brute. And what's tbal?' inquired
the lady. " An auction to sell 'em all off.
-Ne'o York Graphic.
\ great curiosity is reported from Ohio.
in the shape of child two years of age.
who is gradually petrifying-a term which
is used by the press of that section appar-
entity because Of the lack of a better one.
Last July a sudden hardening Of the limbs
was noticed, and since that time it has
gradually spread over the whole body.
And the head, neck, arms and legs of he
child are said TO be so hard that not the
{ Il Th ind Art. ti.,r, l.. l
them, and the limbs seem to be boneIess
and are Us cold as marble. The child has
no use OF the members thus hardened, and
medical men are said to be unable to ex
plain the cause Of the singular phenomena
There lives in the republic of Salvador
at present II venerable gentleman named
Miguel Soils, who is 1S0 years of age
There is no doubt at all about it, He
signed Il document relating To the building
of Il convent in l722, being then % years
old. When Dr.. Hernndez lately called
on him he was at work in bis garden
He takes one strong nourishing meal each
day, except on the first and fifteenth of
each month when he eats nothing, but
drinks as much water as he can. We are
not told whether he is tectotaler. or
drinks the wine of the country, which is
called tang eleg," but it is Stated that
his skin is like parchment, his hair white
rs snow, while his eyes have most lively
expression.
/ Yesterday colored Justice of the peace
came to the city to enter 4 complaint. He
wore pair Of cotton pants, and his shoes
had been cut so often At the toes that he
/ looked as though be wore claws.
Whars de provoke marshals? he asked
of a man on the street.
/ The which?
De provoke marshal.
! You mean the United States mlrsIIl,
don't you?
! No, sab. I wants the provoke mar>hll.
/ m Il justice of the peace. holds courts
and ! Sc up heah to see what can do in
case OBJ contempt. heared de udder day,
dat Il man was fotch up henh for 'spressin
himself in de news paper, and | wanter
know il | can do anything wild 4 MIN for
'spressin' in CARDS to my court.
/ What is your case?
Why, YOU see Il feller was fotched up
afore me on Il prediction dat he stole a
! hog. While de cause was undergoing 4
hearin' Il oruery white man said dat he
knowed dat de feller didn't steal de hog,
and dat I couldn't 'vict him 1t was in
de proof dat lie didn't steal the hog, but
just because the feler sed dat couldn't
viet de man did 'vict Eim. Well, den
de fellcr went ober de creek and sed dat
/ ddn t know Us much about law as de hog
! Now | wanter know ef l kin rain dat
rascal atore me an fine him $40 and de
costs
/ The colored gentleman was referred to
higher authority,