The advertiser. (Wilmington, Del.) 1879-18??, 1879-11-29
WHITTLIN Gs.

The thoughtful tramp observes than
hall u glass of whi. key is better that
no bread.
Amusement matters are booming at
this Opera House, there being a large
number OF engagements ahesd.
The lady who wears q bonnet nat the
theatre low enough to allow the gentle
man who sits behind, her to see over 1t
is sure Of one admirer at least.
Nothing but wild duck can eyer get
even with took-ageni, for when the
hook agent attempts to canvass the
uutk, the duck Gun canvass back.
They we're having a snarl, and she
asked him if there was anything in the
past he would like to recall. He heart
lessly answered {: Eyes, the DAY you
frs refused me-"
.sMy DEAR" said husband pensively
TO h,s wife, II wonder if donkeys ever
die Of water on the brainP' "f you
feel i'll, nv loye," she replied, "L'll ask
the doctor about it.
The genius which some women dis
play in bossing man who is taking
down stove-pipe furnishes strong reason
to believe chat there will yet be female
President of the United States.
The chlld probably destined TO be the
greatest of American naturalists is al
ready born. He lives IN this city, and
il the suthor of the remark that "a
isckaes is the only animal that winks
with its ears"
An hostler who was asked If a de ceas
ed friend of his, who had been cabman
was he kind to his horses, answered :
rKind ? Was Billy kind to lis 'osses I.
w. bless you, the doctors say he died
of classification" of the 'eart."
Thefels no usa trying to get person
TO relish cod hver oil by telling him
that Won took it yourself for several
wears and grew to like it better than
ANAL on toast. Ii only werps his stom-
ach up more and more like scrubbln9
board.
woman inmate of an asylum for
the insane, at May sville, Cal. imagining
that she was imprisoned by enemies,
and that pen aud ink were denied her
made statement of her case i'll needle
work ON piece of cloth and threw il
out of the window.
A big Yankee from Main, on paying
his board bill in a London restaurant,
was told that the Gum put down didn't
include the walter. "Wsl," he roRred.
f.T didn't eat any waiter, did / (" He
Looked as though he could, though
and there was 70 further discussion
The Young woman who doesn't scream
when a candle bug erawIs down her bach
ia abe later in life can spank baby til
Il thinks the day of Judgment has ar
lived. then go smiling to the parlol
nd receive her friends with an easy
grace that is as soothing as Il dose o
morphine.
A colored preacher down South tool
COR his text the words "Thongh aftel
smv akin worms destroy his body, yet
in my flesh shall see G I'd" which h,
divided into three parts, as follows
mFlrst. skin worms second. what the,
done; third, what the man Saw after III
was eat up.
company of scapeRraces meeting I
pious old man named Samson, one o
them exclaimed, sAh now we're safe
Well take Samson along with us. AMI
then. should We be set upon by tbous
and PoilIstines. he'll STAY them all
envy young friend" quietly replied th'
old man. ssto do that I ehould have t,
borrow your Jawbcne r
A Rockland man read that one shout.
endeavor to diaw something usefu
everything he saw, and nobly resolved
TO profit by the teaching. That night
when the moou was hidden, he essayet
to draw number of useful cord
sticks from his neighbours woodpile
and got ell, d SO full of rock salt out o
a gun that DO WON'T be able TO taste any
thing fresh for the balance OF his natu
ral lifa.
A Philadelphia speculator had ski,
theatre tickets left ON his hands. HI
tore off the reserved seat coupons, AM
sold the remainders for SIMPLE admis
sions on a subsequent night. The man
aoer refused to homer them, and tn
aSecnlator returned the money to tn
pu,chasers, He has obtained judg
nent at l,w for the admission value o
the sixty tickets.
when bee brings pollen into tn
hive he advances to the cell i'll whicl
l. is to be deposited and kicks it off
another bee, one of the indoor hands
com. along and rams it down with hi
head mi packs it into the cell as
daIr, maid packing butter into firkin
(Jotn Burrougbs,) If our butter nus
bs ~ cked in Tint way let 1T "e done b.
q hald- headed dairy maid,