The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-10-25
PASSING SMILES.

THE Kangaroo enjoys a beautiful
spring. s.l Tie Ya7s'i.s8i8 eai Saido.
CipsE contest woman trying 10
out-dress another. Tff
DRIVE your cattle on the Ice if you
want eewsips in the water - nsshB y
y AFTER all, theshingles on roof cover
the most laps. q sovo fs5,l m8d4 s.
TuE man who lays by any dust
must wade Though Considerable mud
A CIGARETTE Is not nearly sogood as
cigar smoked.
He passed in his checks but had {
them returned by heeeshier for want Of
funds.
s. pEor1E will talk and sing about the
" flowing bowl Nhenit ism . the bowl
that flows at ale fs.,.....3 fat :
II is vulgar to call man "bow-leg-
gedp Just speak Of him as q paren-
thetical pedestrian Il ~ Agaaaaai
"OH, that my father was seized with
rcmittent fever sighed n young spend
thrift At college. .ai''A''issi3s' 9'' s.
81 WHEN corner ioafcr dies in Tennes-
see the newspapers sqy;gss Another old
landmark gone"
Counsel Go witness =" YOU re nice
sort of n fellow, you arei'' Witness
:" disay the same of You, only Pm on
my oath srs ;eg.d ~ SRI 81
PoLITlcs are great blessingto society.
What else is 1t that makes men. shake
hands and be nice to eacll othef2 = haff
".ALAs! this isa,drop too much = said
the fellow who was about to be hanged
And undoubtedly il was,o in Il Moose
- .' q 81 70 Ia 81
MIsrREss--" Bridget, did you hear me
call r. Bridget Yis, mum; but, you
towld me the ither day river to answer
we back--and1 didn't 98adi II s9toy g
PHYSICIAN of this, town was heard
to remark the other day, that il he were
with General Miles command he'd
scalpel out hhe8lndians. bahi9ah dior 5
~ 'WHAT are the best stories2n "That
depends. When youl ares telling them
the long ones are; when you are listen
ing, the short ones"
= 'WHEN the cornis waving !" means
when superabundance of grain, in a
liquid state, causes the sidewalk TO os-
ciliate.
ANTHONY CoMsrocK 'sighs sadly be-
cause he can't prosecute the pirituelle
society beauties who speak Of the bare
idea of anything.-N y Star.
We old maids" remarked Miss Steb-
bins, love cats because we have no
husbands, and cats are almost as treacher-
GUS as men"
AHAW said old Punlover as he
picked himself up from an awkward
tumble over a bearded browser, " got
my fall over goat rather too early in the
season." ssh sG "a 84a
!" WHATdo, they always put d. G, after
Washington for? asked Mrs, Quilp Of
Mr.. @. Why, my dear, don't you
know that Washington was the Daddyof
his Country said Qujlp,.with aspicker.
THERE'S many a girl called a daisy"
before marriage who, after few years,
looks like faded lold 'sbuttercup.'
There may not be much poetry about
this assertion, but it's the truth.
NOTHING is made in vainl'' exclaims
the divine, but the next moment, as an
aggregation of silk lace and feathers
sweeped up the aisle, he realized that
something is maiden vain Ifisf "a
AN actor having expressed arwish to
appear, in several pieces on the same
evening, and TO bring down the house,
was assured that he might'do both by
smoking a cigar in 2 powder manu-
factory.
zaq You've man." saysa quaint writer,
" ii you are to be married, your future
wife is now living, therefore pray, for
her And, while yoii are about it,
don't forget to pray for her future
husband; he needs praying for as much
rs she does
nd A SMALL boy asked his mother, GER
tain worthy lady of this city, if God
punished everybody that told lie.
(" Certainly he does" was the reply.
!" You had better look out chen, mother,
for haven't had thai piece ofIraspberry
pie you promised me two days ago.. Is, j
IA CENT EMAN passing across the play
ground Of apublic school was obliged to
complain TO the. principal, which he did
thus: :" / have been abused by some ras-
Gals Of this place, and | have come to
acquaint you of it, as l understand you
are the principal eE YsA noa,as. j
WHEN you see a lady running after a
and crying frantically, "iHere, herep'
the thought comes that all this trouble
and vexation Of spirit might have been
pTtNeHLtsi, udu SIG Dctu tduSHI W
whistle on her finoers. s4A1r ha9 ito /.
MRS. ScRoGGINs-- How did your
mamma like that butter ! sold her, Miss
Lucyw Miss Lucy" The butter was
not good at all, Mrs. Scroggins, and was +
all sorts of different colors." Mrs.
Scroggins-" That amt nuthin'.a If you
was to see my cows yew'd find 'em.a big
sight more speckelder'n my butter" In
The beauteons, buxom Bertha Bangs
fg. Is one Of etr diyipest girls;s III J slllA gs
She bangs the doors and bangs the chairs,
And likewise bugs her auburn curls.Y II 4
She bangs on the pianny, too,
80 Aud bapgsUpop the light giitarerSlssf sluo
But, oh, Of all The bang; she bangs
q 4 hepnostly bangs hesihhnnf ba,yna ii 1De
Oh banging, bouncing, buxon BELLE
'9Y s185~ 9l iitf..S Louis Timer 5o4raaIslsiEi
GA MINISTER ONCE told Wendell Phil.
lips that if his business in life was to
Save the negroes, he ought to gedSouth, =
where, they. were, and i.dolits nH That j.,
worth, thinking off, replied Phillips; 4.
"and what is your business in lifeT'
"To save men from going Ito hell !" re.
piled the minister { Then go there and
attend to your business; said Mr..
rnliilps.i -.......-.-- Is n ~
AS ALawyer's Predicament. si
A sensation was created in Atlanta.
Georgia, Thursday, by a young woman
meeting a prominent young lawyer on
the street and presenting him with two
~xyooEe-nId ch.fd o1lo.r;r<r tba< bo x.vo,s AZ,