Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1879-03-27
&eadiug.
PADDY'S GUN.

Irish wit is proverbial, and many good
story is told by natives of the Emerald Isle.
Their natural love of fun and whisky is well
presented in the following story, which was
narrated to the writer by the original hero.
1t is not worth while giving his name, but he
is to be found daily in the corridors OF the
General Post-Office and United States build
ing attending to his duties, he being employed
by the Government. We will call him ''Pad-
dy," but this is not his name. He may he a
descendant of the immortal st. Patrick or he
may not; but this has nothing to do with the
story Since his long residence in this country
he has faithfully performed his duties, not
withstanding his love of whisky. One thing
may he mentioned, and that is that "Paddy''
is not Fenian. He is altogether different
kind of man. He believes that there is no
power on earth which equals that of Great
Britain. and he respects the Government and
it's Queen. For fourteen years "Paddy" serv-
ell under her Majesty's flag; seven years he
spent in the regular army and seven years in
revenue police. 1t was during his connection
with the latter service that the incidents of
this story referred to occurred. 1t was Pad
dy's duty with his corps TO keep good lookout
for the illicit whisky distilleries which former
ly abOunded in the county ROscommon, and
well he fulfilled his oath Of subservience and
allegiance. But Paddy had himself a great
love for the whisky, and it cut him to the
quick when he made seizure, and could not
get taste. His Captain, a young, handsome,
and quiet officer, was honest, and could not al
low his men to stake drop" Therefore,
small bottles or canteenS were useless to the
men when on duty. In those days the men
carried muzzle-loading gun, the nipple of
which was covered with a large cap One day
when good seizure was made Paddy said to
himself, ''1'm going to get good drink to
last me on my way home"
A bright idea struck him. His gun was un-
loaded, and being carried OH the shoulder or
in the hand, ''why not fill it, and drink or
suck from the nipple" said Paddy to himself.
No sooner said than done, and on the march to
the station it was noticed that Paddy had al
unusual affection for his musket. He kissed
the ''cock" and freely embraced the nipple.
His companions wondered at Paddy's sudden
affection for his gun. But Paddy kept his
secret A few weeks later, and subsequent
to another ''seizure," the Captain himself
noticed Paddy's affection, and said:
"Paddy, you seem to love your gun very
much. What has it done for you?''
"Well, your Honor" said Paddy, 81 do love
her. 1t is just like woman whom you love.
Shure and amt she swate."
CLOVIS that?" responded the Captain.
Paddy had been drawing rather freely from
his "barrel," " and after another fond embrace
he replied:
"Just try her, Captain. Put your mouth to
the nipple and draw"
The Captain did so, and was surprised at
receiving a full mouthful of good whisky.
Fortunately he needed it at the time, and he
appreciated the value of Paddy's contrivance.
After that it was noticed that the Captain had
also taken fancy to Paddy's gun. Soon after
ward the trick was detected by his compan-
ions, SO it had to be stopped as men in the
command never had any load in their guns ex-
cepting ''whisky."-N. Y. Star.