The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1879-06-20
WHAT THE WITS SAY.
Why, hello y! Here's our good old friend
Stanley Matthews in the ssstalwart " camp.
Why, Stan, old fellow, how are you? Shake.

Why, hello Here's our good old friend
Stanley Matthews in the "stalwart " camp.
Why, Stan, old fellow, how are you? Shake.
Haaokeye. @
Out in West Philadelphia yesterday a
man knocked q three-story house down with
single blow Of hammer-he was an auc-
tioneer r.-Phisa. Item.
The happiest moment in boys life is
when he can smoke cigarettes in the pres
ence of his paternal without endangering
his life.-Kingston Freeman.
When the stern old Scotch warrior said,
"The hand of Douglas is his own," was it
in response to an insinuation that he held a
pair OF aces that didn't belong to him p
Saturday Night.
Bachelor Sam Scudder, Of Wild Cherry
creek, is quite bald. When the girls see
him coming they say, "Here comes 'BaP-
sam of Wild Cherry" and then they all be-
gin to cough.-Saturday Night.
Every woman that suicides has "lovely
golden halr;" every trout is "speckled
beauty )" every party is "the most recher-
che affair of the season." every lady is
beautiful and accomplished" dancing is
always kept up "till the wee sma' hours;;''
every newspaper we hats is "our respected
contemporary" every man we know is
either Judge, Colonel or Major.-Times-
| Journal.
Just as the signs of better times are ap-
parent everywhere. and the rush for the
| four per cents shows no diminution, some
fiend, with malice aforethought, throws a
deep and impenetrable gloom over the read
ing world by yesurre Getting Mr.. Methuselah's g
joke about Miss Quito having already made
her appearance at the watering places.
There are more infamous crimes than MUIR
der.-Nor. Herald.
A clergyman OF an original tuin Of mind
is passing by an auctioneer's house, and, in
order to emphasize good moral lesson,
bounds suddenly in, crying " Boo ~ Nat
orally the parishioner starts. "You did
not expect to have mccall ?" 81 did not,
by blessed sight.' "Suppose had been
death-where would you have been ? Chaw
on that % and the excellent Clergyman
vanishes.
"My little seven year old GIRL" writes q
friend, twas IN the sitting room alone
with her uncle, and looking drearily from
the window. Without turning her head,
she asked, Uncle Horace, eight and seven
make fifteen, don't it?' He replied that
she was right. Then,' said she, in hall
soliloquy, $ it is only eight years before
shall have beau, and o, l dread it y
Hdrper's Magazine.
1t is all wrong TO let your church choir
go off singing in the opera of Pinafore u
between Sundays. A dreadful thing re
Gently happened on this account at a Cali
fornia funeral. The pastor, tall, whit.
haired man, much resembling an admiral
arose in the pulpit and had no sooner fin
ished, in sing.song tone, the remark
We miss his presence in the usua
haunts, !" than the choir sprang to it's fee
and shouted in return, g And so do his sis
ters and his cousins and his aunts. NH
acassiee Sentinel.
DESCRIPTION OF cLEoPArRA's BARGE.
The barge she sat In, like FURNISHED throne
Burned on the water, and citizen
Yelled Fire7'' and turned on an alarm,
The poop was beaten gold purple the sails,
And so perfurued with hair oil or something,
That the winds were loyesck with them.
The oars were silver, or appeared to be,
And If they were not the genuine article
The whole town was shamefully deceived. " =
Besides the sails and silver oars, .~e#
| A two-horse power engine was hidden
In the hold. for use in case of emergency.
| 1t had atwenty three inch stroke, 'scaped
| In the smokestacks, and cost three
Hundred dollars. half cash, and the
Balance in six months.