The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1879-04-08
Seuse and Nnpse,,se.
The lawyer lieth on Aowery beds OF

The lawyer lieth on fowery beds OF
fees.
Music has charms to soothe the savage.
This is why we occasionally see q cross
dog with a brass band around his neck.
/. An editor putting air-tight coffins,
said; M person having once tried one
OF these cofflns will ever use any other"
She never told her love that she had
been eating onions, but their chairs were
found good ways apart the next morn.
ing.
He who is false to present duty breaks
q thread in the loom, and will see the de-
feet whenthe weaving ofa lifetime is un-
rolled.
He that hath really felt the bitterness Of
sin, will fear to commit it; and be that
hath felt the sweetness of mercy will fear
to offend it.
Ifthe characters of all our young men
stood as high as their shirt collars do
community would present better aspect
than it does.
A Kansas man who offered bail for a
friend was asked by the Judge if he had
any ncumbrance on his farm. 30 yes, "
said he, "my old woman.
An old bachelor says that woman
will stand and talk for three-quarters of
an hour to convince you that she hasn't
time to stop for five minutes.
Josh B llings suggests that il man is
on his way to the woods to commit sui
eide, and bull suddenly gives chase, the
chances are that he will run for his life.
Though the average small boy may
steal away and eat watermelon all by
himself, he never refuses to divide his
medicine with little sister.
.What straights are the most peril
ous2" asked the Sunday-school Superin.
tendent, and little bov spoke up prompt
|, whisky straights!" And The boy was
right. =.
NJ matter how many of our laden
ships many come safely into port, that
one which was lost at sea, will always
seem to us to have carried the riches,
cargo. ,,a
A lazy fellow once declared in public
company that be could not find bread
for his family. "NorI," replied an ip
dustrious mechanic; II am obliged to
work for it.
H,;nopoon ~ rovar ouooro . bor Lo oats
mad because there are NO "cuss words ir
his dictionary. He simply upsets his
6s-ab, butts the bottom out, kicks 8
dog, and feels better.
A fat woman OF Corinth, Miss, drank
sh-bark to make her lean, and she skip
ped for the better land just two hours
ahead ofa lean woman who was eating
SuEa arabic to make her fat. at.sss
The triumphs Of truth are the mos
glorious, chiefly because they are tn,
most bloodliess of all victories. deriving
their highest lustre from the number o
the saved, not ofthe slain.
Mems lives should be like day-mor
beautiful In the evening; or like summe
-aglow with promise; and like autumr
rich with golden sheaves, where good
deeds have ripened in the field.
sOch, thin, but its yerslf knows hov
to spake the words of God-shure W,
niver knew what sin was till ye cam,
among u.s." said an enthusiastic Irisl
woman to an eloquent revivalist.
An old lady,remarkable for her confus
ediideas of the meaning of word, describ
es clear summer evening thus: 1t wa
beautiful bright night, aad the mool
made everything as light as cork.
! "You bigoted nigger," said Sam I,
Pete. "Biggoted, what do you mean b,
dat ?" asked Pete. Why" replied Sam
"bigoted means You know too much TO
one nigger and not enough for two."
There is brilliant future in store 70
the boy who, when he sees ton of Goa
coming to his house, rushes to his mother
asks for the peppermint, rolls on tn
floor and groans. and says be has th
cramp.
A lamb was put into cage with a lio'
in Baltimore, but they didn't lie down to
gether. The lamb gave the old roare
one s.buck" in the ribs, and the lion GO
into corner and no wled himself hoare
with fear.
They tell all about the wonderfu
sagaclty OF Indians. yet one in Omah
who tried to follow the trail of mid
night-cat in the snow was so used up i
two hours that be threw up the j,b an
|got drunk.
Dublin professional man addresses
an artisan, who was waiting in his hal
rather brusquely-"Hslloa, you fellow
do you want mep" The answer wa
neat-.No, yer honor am waiting for
gentleman
| As rule woman writes well when sh
writes for herself or her friends becaus
she writes what she feels; the trouble
that when she comes 10 address herse
to the public she will write what sh
imagines she thinks
An Irishman noticing a lady pas
along, espied two strips depending frol
under the Iady's cloak. Not KNOWN
that these we're styled sashes. and in tn
right place, he exclaimed, Faith, ma au
your galluses are united"
Ifyoung ladies attending church woul
give more attention to the number Oftl
hymn the pastor gives out, and not s
, much attention 10 the number of hin
that are in church, they would not be s
apt to sing one hymn while the congr
cation are singing another.
, Things are grea! or small according
, the end OF the microscope through whic
: you look. Some people manage to loo
at their troubles through the upper en-,
: and so incontinenily magnify them, an
at their good fortune through the low
i end, and 80 minimize them.
: A man recently about to pay his dot
tors bill said, "Well, doctor. as my Ii
tie boy gave the measels to all nv neigl
bors' children, and as they were attende
by you, think you can aft ,rd, at tn
very least to deduct ten per cent, frol
the amount of my bill for the increase {
business we gave you.
j TIE wise man on going to bed on
cold night plunges his feet to the bot,ol