, 1879-06-04
A CEnTIFICATED FEMALE.
The Trlbu1ntihns of n Government 1nvestoa
On tlIe 1,sst )ay ut rho rost-t)Alca.
EtIc lItk Iliirtd

On tho L,ast i)uy ut Tho l'ost.Dillra.
St1r }"r& Horid.
The clock OH the Gity-Ilntl was just striking
Yesterday afternoon MS she came pantluY out Ut
tho door ot the rost.O[llcc. Her laIr wns sadly
dfsarrungcd md her garments were rent in
snatay places. Tile lady, It apucars, Is regularly
engaged In the lnudable though somcwhut
arlluous occupation vi being a janitor's wife.
Aiming the other Offices which In her capacity
as Ianitor's wife she Is daily compelled to sweep
nn1 clcaut atlst for the safckcep!ng of which
during thcIyatcles OF u,u night she ts-ns tho
jauitors wife-rcsponsIblc, Is thu ollfco Ut O
gentleman who keeps imitation silver dolars in
his street window mil displays ttercfrom tlse
somewhat comprehensive and ssa-coYef,ng sign
Ut l}rokcr.'f
TN Nont1ay afternoon this gentleman called
tl,c janltor's wife itlto Ills columcrstal pasIur
mud Eafl. "Anu, would you like to be earning
sooptc of doltarsf =
"'lt's not loikiey l wouldn't scz !, whore.
upon he taRcs out ten greasy go bills, md, put
thu them Ia my list, seq lIe-for he knowed was
honest, inc having twlct returned to him tile kay
to ills safe. though 1.Yl Il bit bclaiyc WIS therp
Of rafoo in it-sez hc, Ann. tlo you know whcro
the Post Office isf Sez l. 'tllnt do. lie hnyin'
frequently boeu there wild notes 10 inc cousin
Dan In the euld cointhrY.' sWeli,' sex b.,
Ann, you take this n,oney and you 70 no there
plirty nlrIy III tho uUrt,tn' n1t you bur tin BIO
surI!llgats.' 'So,' srz |. u Will And he told
mo tl'c nane over a,al over again til lost me
paRflNnco tntirc!y. 'Sllurs,' Rtz L. Il lsn0w we'll
enough what eurtllcats he. though NO mort I
did than the babe untor1l.n
That eyenlng. 1t upocurs, Tho janltor gave
l!tHe party, A''a fhe festivities werc kept up
nbIc to sleep III .Ilr possession OF l,nr vast
wcutth, the janttor's vito, 70 coon as iipr hus-
bands guests had departed, put I'll her lonIlat
aud shawl and strvIletl up Rroadway towards
It was tho custom 10 sell "surtliica&s' as they
tlo aot.awaser md plls.-alI night. "yts n,aY
knnw,h saltl sht. THAT wus purity well sur
psisct, consacrln' lhc tofsue, to fond lno OF
Pust-Oi!eo uwas, mp Broadway. 'Faith,' sea 1
TO tuchif, 'Bartllscats seem to bu In grent de-
lnand' SO thu, Is thcro Has no help for It, I
faI!s Into llue behlna MI old 1nnn Wild Il
baek, What t"IHe dues ,'s shop opcni Well,
wol,il! YOU believe It sur, The n,au was fast
aslcop. 'Ah,' SEE l. II that's yer plan, I'm Wild
rcr,'' 80 down | sqtats on Ito pavutnrns: Dut,
yolabencss aud clqucnes of her race tl'u
WARY woman then narrated to thu reporter tue
pleasures Of her long witch. How h1nr by
huur WIS struck fr1m tlle netghboflnE churt,
uc|Is With tina hide nor !,nir at a k3rttrit ~;
llow tile uilk.wagons ratified by md tho en,,.y
h1el stagcs began to thunder down to tho fer
rics; how ut last the sun c1nu IN; ansl how
with tts coming thu line becan!u "nuar ,noIle
long a,ul ycry htlssel upr of iii nfll.er arrs!I-
cats" at o'clock. according tn her accounts,
the lansturs wife EDt her right foot within ttie
rost~Ollcu door. AZ o'clock aho succeeuetl
10 getting In the. other. Aftcr This
her prosress, must have bsen last;
the counter where ''surtiArats" were sold,
'uh, eegarrnh, b,tt | WIS selateed, 'Gtye mo
tin VI em as quick us the deal II let ycr,' tcS !:
uuttn' doWn tlle money wllicl, was near melted
In ,nc list. Wid that q po!ieenun grabs tnr br
the waizt, nfH1 sez he: 'No yar llun's; YER cunt
work tint liere.' 'Wbat's tilp nlatter Wld yvu1'
sez l. II front do,' suz lie. 'What wont dpr
sez |. 'fes'ye t,ee,, tevd livery day tlis week.
scz he. 'Fa!tlI,' sez !, i feel as II III been heru
u year, 'SDnc of yer t1pnute1ler,' srz l.ct ind
Wild that he Iyage me oa to s!.e sswsios'.Eaesu. +,
Hut thu Sergeant was ciMtlcnlan. aud says liz,
LIST tic Won.an ge.' r!.ln .Me buck WIS I'm,
anu says !, IN l4yo tin Of thtlb surtlttcass.
bn ,tie puwcrsl So l COOS dowu to the POST
Ofi!ec uGn,f md The lfau It stretched AWAY I'd
l.e strict, md three hours later found myself
Just wisl,a the door where !!a aeen A. o'elack
in tho tnornn'. WIS ut to cry, when al0!lT
eslnu Ellen Mccarthy 'w!t! t.,esa tin surlttcats
IN tlur ilad atld crying lit to- break hur lnart.
'Arrnl. Mten,' sez |, 4what's tile matter wld
yera' Och. srz xtle. !,u r!ltneii !ntirelr.,'
thought tho aurt!eata ,Yas g,'ls!, alll tsAScd
tnr money out VI ilIe Suvl1lEs-baHE, Ind liu
hrurl's broke.' sWell,' scx !, 'ctY 10 tloro.
I'll taky ZEN from yrr.' so out The iunaTed
lol!nrs In l,er lst lful I've ot thu slsrtttleuts,
lad lurk 10 'e,n shurc I'd rather wash for u
female school at dollar Il week ttlan purchase
aay uiors surlllcats at turty dollars tiic dokou."