National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1879-04-14

Where am II Where Is the Hon. hummer.
field Gozzle? / ask and the Congressional
record answers: AT the head of the committee
on penwipers and spittoons."
When tho committees were announced was
at first stunned, then an impression of Ran
dall's bascness crept over me. My dream OF
greatness and power vanished to the winds aud
left nothing but cold distrust. Then ! remem-
bered with some pangs OF regret what Joe
Blackburn said about railroads and telegraph.
Railroads and telegraph was FAR preferable TO
penwipers aud spittoons. Docs Tadpole County
wonder If | weep2 Can patriots of Tadpoo
sneer ut my tears? No; they will shed tears
with me over the insult to Tadpole and Tad
poles representatives ! choke with emotion
After the first shock, caused by the announce
ment of the committees and when had re-
covered my calmness sufficiently to trust my
self to speak, went in search OF Speaker RIM
dali, entertain ing n slight hope that some mis-
take had been made in the announcement and
that might still be destined TO shine in con-
nection with banking aud currency.
Several other new members who evidently
had been disappointed in their hopes IN con-
nection with various committees, were ahead
of me, and had to wait some time before gain
ing an interview with the Speaker During
the interval learned that at least two others
of the disappointed members had been deludcd
into entertaining hopes In connection with
banking and currency. My heart sank as the
question occurred TO my mind of what use is ii
for ability TO strive to make itself felt when it
| is opposed by such duplicity as this
| AT last j was admitted to see Randall. |
need not say that my blood tinglod with indig-
nation. / struck an attitude before him such
rs Nirginius must have taken when he de-
mandod his daughter from tho Tribune. l
cast scathing look at the Speaker, who was
lounging oil a sofa. / know that he shrunk
| and felt the littlcness of his soul under that
,1, 40 ,sit iuhf ind ifrno Inn
lie motioncd me to take n seat but | pre-
icrred to stand. | began to address him by
saying Mr.. Speaker"
"Are you amember?" he asked, intcrrupting
me-
"Am / member? Do you not know mo
Hon. Bummerfeld Gozzlo-him who you have
attempted to trample."
"Gozzle, Gozzle let me Sec" said Randall,
running his finger overa list of Members, "Oh,
yes Gozzle, Bummcrfield, Tadpolc County.
All ! am glad to mako your acquaintance,
Mr.. Gozzle.n
looked at the man squarcly in the eye, and
l hatter myself he again flinched under my
burning gaze. Said l, firmly and deliberately,
never removing my gaze, Mr.. Speaker, you
led me to believe that should be appointed
chairman of the committee on banking aud
currency, but where have you placed me, Mr.
Speaker? Where? On the committee Oh pen
wipers and spittoons."
very honorable place., interrupted ian
dali.
as this what / am to tell my people in Tad
pole" shrieked l, niaddened by his cool i'm
pudence. Am l to be thrust out of the
world, my genius hidden and doomed to oh
scurity among penwipcrs and spttoons?"
There is great work of reform to be
done byyour committee" said Randall.
" Reform! ~ | yelled. "Mr. Speaker, yor
mock me. Take care how far you CO." Al
this point my frame shook with ire, and my
trembling hand was upliftcd in warning
Take care" thundered, 'or you will drive
me out of the ranks of the party. Tadpolt
will never submit to such dishonor. Take
care, or the voice of Tadpole County will bc
heard in tones that will make the nation
tremble"
The warning had visible effect upon Ran.
dali. Rising, he grasped me by the hand ant
led me to the sofa. He addressed me in en-
dearing terms. All patriotic Democrats, hC
said ought to be willing to suffer patiently fol-
the good of the party. Events had happened
! which indicated that the committee on pen
: wipers and spittoons would rise to Il grea
prominence during the present session. 1t wa
in view of this fact, knowing my ability, tha
he had selected me for its chairman. Charge
had been made that under Radical rule Repub
lican members had supplied themselves AM
furnished their houses with penwipers ant
spittoOns at the expense of the contingent fun
= OF the House; that money had been lavishe
most eXtravagantly upon imported cuspidor
and fancy penwipirs only to adorn the house
OF members of corrupt party. There was a
= opportunity for retrenchmcnt There was a
| opportunity for investigation, and in demon
strating the spotless aud incorruptible purit
of the Democratic party in connection wit
= penwipers and spittoons, the name of Hol
Bummcrfield Go2zle would go to the world {
~, command the everlasting gratitude of all lover
. of truth and retrenchment.
o asked if | would be allowed to make +,
ports to the House. He replied that woult
Feeling somewhat better satisfied, / left til
Speaker, although l cannot even now hel
k feeling that there is great gap between pei
e wipers and spittoons and banking and Gu
70 rency, and that things have not been arrange
) as they ought to be. However, l have dete
= mined to serve my country, even if my pla,
Il is humble If there is anything to be inve
tigated in connection with penwipers an
II spittoons, the country may feel assured thi
Hon. BummerGeld Gozzlc will not permit it
20 uninvestigatod. You know, my DEF
friend, have always trusted much to yol
experience and wisdom. If you have an
. facts to impart or suggestions to make in col
nccton with the important subject of spi
y toons, or the equally important matter of pei
t wpers, you would be comforting u favor
IS communicating them to
HON. BUMMERFIELD GOZZLE, NJ. c.,
h Chairman Committee on Pcnwipers and Spi
s, tOOns.
COLORED MIGRITION