The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-06-17

Eor TIE bilto@S look Iearialiy saftn carr ,,c
Par ar yrt will trust true heart 0ui VIZ ~.
! VII, die With ms hand on the helm Oh our oar1.
The yessci is crcaky and worn by the waves
MI hnysc;cr Old {lcean teinpesiuous'y raves.
His bosona Is barred as shelter ior YOU
!, l. nssnsa, TO feel the Inducements are few.
Eor n poorcr old mariner was never anoas ,,,,s
Yet tyut not the pocket tis 'ae MAR 'a' '''''
Come, darling, will you tin the boat2
when through the roush seas of Old Time VIC have
Aud drift 10 yon shore With the tide dead nailed
IN the hayen wen rest darling, side by sac. M
Condition OF Things tn Russia.
TRANSLATED from the French by New YORK Wofio'l
Scene. At st. Petersburg.
/. ,Janitor: can't stand this any longer
sir. T don't mind doing the dtlties ordina-
rlly expected OF one in my posit'on, put
cannot be on watch oil the twenty-four
hours to see that the Nihiists don't stick
revolutionary posters on the front wan.
I,ye gone eleven nights without sleep now.
Proprietor: But my poor Ivan IyanoVltch,
r did not make the law which all owners OF
houses are obliged to obey, providing for
fine of 500 roubies II placard is posted up
on the premises, and imprisonment the
offence is repeated. Here, drink this col
fee--it will keep you awake. Tonight
will 60 on watch and you can get good
sleep. s afisr IL 49, -,
Janitor: Thanks, my good master; your
nobly consideratei conduct lends me re-
newed strength.
IAN hour later the janitor comes into
Proprietor: Great. Todleben + where
have YOU been? Why, man, there IS rev.
oiutionary pIacard pasted on your back! :.
Janitor: Is therel I suppose l must
have closed nv eyes for q minute or two.
They have keen eye for business, those
Nihilists. Let's tear it up.
Proprietor No; don't tear it up; be-
cause some OF the fragments might be found
and we might be sent to Siberia. Burn 1t
up, coat and .all-Pli give you a new one.
Now, go back to your post, and for the love
OF heaven do not doze wink.
:: (The ianitor returns. The proprietor
watches him from the window, and when
ever he mods shouts. "Now, then, Ivan
Ivanovitch, keep awakel" In the course
of the long, long, wea~y day the police ar
rive.) -ss.'-
Official: We have come to search the
premises.
Proprietor: But, Count, I belong to no
association. i am merely peaceful citizen
no passes his days and nights watching to
see that his watchman doesn't fall asleep.
Official: have General GDurko's orders
to enter your house and see that you have
no concealed arms.
Proprietor: AL l have is an old shotgun
without lock, stock, or barrel. r.
Ofticial The Nihilists could easily fur
nish you those. Your shotgun is contisca-
ted and you may thank your lucky stars
that you get off so easily. WHAT'S In thut
drawer? r:v
Proprietor: Knives.
Official: Knives / contiscate- them.
Proprietor: But, Prince, they are table
knives, and tonight give dlnner-party.
NV daughter is engaged to be married, and
this is to celebrate her betrothal.
Official: You must eatwith your fingers,
that's all. Irf "
Proprietor But, Grand Duke, how are
we to carve the fowls? .lt.,E ..s.
Official: Tear 'em in pieces, or bite out
chunks-itl all be ia the family. Where's
your bedroom? s, ........- -.f.'. :.
Proprietor: Here, your Imperial Excel
lency, and if you find any deadly weapon
in it want to be sent to Siberia.
Official: might send you there If it
were worth the trouble, for here is a razor
which, in the practiced hands OF desperate
man, might be used to Stay the whole i'm
perial family. l will contiscate the razor.
fThe family dinner takes place, though
under disadvantages. and lhe unhappy man
forgets all the trials and troubles OF the
day. At the dessert, Just as he is about to
propose the health OF the soon-to .be-wedded
pa,r, he receives a note couched in these
terms): 49,.
"You are traitor! You have to-day
given up to the tyrants the arms in your
possession, You have therefore been
doomed to death by
"Yours respectfully,
TIE EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE,
"per Tomskl Collinsovitch."
Proprietor Clearing his hair): There !!
That's all that was lacking to make it COM
plete. Read that!
His Future Son-n- Law You were wrong,
sir; there is a good deal to be said on both
sides. -.@
Proprietor: Wrongi was J.? Perhaps
you are Nihilist with bitter sarcasm).
His Future Son-inLaw: have the honor
to be the chief of Section 217. and don't
care who knows it. = .
His Daughter: Yes, pa, and that is why I
lo-bo-hove him. casts herself into her
lovers arms.) ~ ....t-5-.o. -,...
Proprietor; Merciful heaven! Are you
Nihiiist, 100. Paulovna9
His Daughter: Yes, pa, and SO are my
sisters and my cousins and my aunts.
All tue Guests: And SO are we-all Of
Us. . .-. ...-s
Proprietor: will denounce you to the
authorities call the police. .h.-
His Future Son-in-LaW: II you utter one
word will fire this train and blow up the
house, which we had mined as precau-
tion lest the police should make descent
on us while we were at dinner.
Proprietor: And here have been pass
ing my days aud nights Keeping watch on
my ianitor.
Omnes: Your ianitor!. Ho, ho! Look
out of the window and see what your jani-
tor is doing. .-sss,
Proprietor: May be knouted and SEM
to Siberia il my ianitor isn't covering the
whole front OF the house with four-sheet
revolutionary posters! (Fatnts.)
exclamation, much like our own " Great Scott.'
/ AN AMENDED PR0PosIT7oN.-lt occurred
in BodIe, that city Of whiskey, wealth, and
wicEedneSs. A case was on trial in the
Justices Court, and during recess one Of
the interested parties approached juror
and said:
:" Say, boss. il that ar suit goes agin me
r IN nigh ON So 600 loser in minin' property
Now, Pm give you an even $500 to hang that
jury
The 1ncorruptible scion Of American