The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1879-01-17
The Mysteries Of Skating Unfolded.


in uhits.-London NeUs.
The Mysteries Of Skating UnfOlded.
When the Times man entered the Ca
rondelet street skating rink the other
night, the band played its brassiest bray,
the lights winked suggestively, the
br-r-r-r-r.r-r-r of the skates increased in
volume four fold, and his heart beat
high with fondest anticipation of grace
and glory and gentle gyration to come.
Two or three minutes had elapsed be-
fore the cynical boy (ah, smiling, fiend-
ish youth )who ministers ut the skate
stand, had oiled up an extra slick pair
to that degree of unctious uncertainty
which should characterize the Plympton
in full bloom. Then the Times man
buckled them on; seated on . chair,
whence he could observe the foibles of
others, before displaying his prowess.
(Mem: If one thing in the world is
easier than another, it is to put on .
blister or pair of skates.)
The scene was kaleidoscope. The
new beginners slid around the hall in
huge circles and numbers, while the
adopts tipped fancifully in the central
reserve. On chair opposite sat noble
browed youth, under full head of proud
steam, wearing q beaver, and look of
determination. He couldn't get his
skates on quick enough. Fondly did
the blue-eyed angel beside him watch
the intricate operation, as if confident
that he would eclipse all others in poetic
grace and skillful movement.
The last buckle was buckled. The
steely fire of ambition lit his eye, and
he rose. A small but vicious brother of
the young lady gave him a vigorous
crowd he plunged, lit into three new
beginners and boy, clutching spas
medically at the treacherous air, turned
q back somersault, and then lay down
to form q foundation for pyramid of
skaters, which was speedily formed.
When the hard knot of legs and wild
ly waving arms had become unraveled,
and the visage of the youth once more
unveiled to the garish light, the look Of
determination was gone, and the sub
dued mournful expression of the new
u1u LohCh PloOCs AhO bOoNOA
looked like it had been in an earth
quake, boiler explosion or something
and the matron tie was slowed around
suggestively under the left ear.
The Times man looked across at the
blue-eyed angel. She had risen. There
were traces of hot tears yet dimming
the lovely orbs, but the ripe red lips
were compressed in whitening scorn.
With one glance of humiliation toward
the shattered idol of her dream, she
caught up the vicious brother by the
scruff of the coat and vanished.
The moment of moments had come
for the Times man. Selecting time
when half dozen pairs of approving
eyes were turned in his direction, he
rose. The "long roll," he had been
taught, consisted Of two gilderflukes to
the right, semi-circular fabdab with
dexter, and periwiggle with the sinis-
ter hoof in the rear. He had been in
formed that this was the simplest and
most peaceful movement in skating. So
the long roll" was essayed.
The following is photographic
transcript of the first half minute [1st.
Gilderfuke to the right!-br-r.r-r-r!
I'd. G. to the right! br-r-r-r-r-r! Flab-
dahl br-r-r-r-zip! Whang! sang-fang
biz neutrality-suspicious.
f! !*!*!*!*! Then the most beautiful
astronomical visions fitted across the
Times mans gaze, and he lay right
down to enjoy them. Somebody whis-
pered through the dark to inquire if he
was turt. He whispered family that
after being embalmed, he would like to
be cremated-that was all.
Somebody else then took the skates
off and carried him back. Various
theories were INDUCED in. Some said
skate lad broke loose. Others thought
that the diaphragm must have come un-
screwed. Mr.. Ferguson, the proprietor,
whispered that-but, Mr.. Ferguson's
shall not appear in these col
umns.
1t is the easiest thing in the world to
skate. just watch Henry Levi, the
gold-medal skater of the South, glide
forwards, sideways-the
picture of grace in the poetry of motion.
could be simpler. The fiabdab
is the only really difficult thing in the
business, he says. When once the fab
dab is mastered, the genuine, double
convex Aabdab, the rest is nothing.
periwiggles, hobgibbles
and rangliftifs all come easy after the
liabdab.
The Times man comedies with medi- |
cal men in the opinion that skating is q
wonderful aid to muscular development. |
After leaving the rink he did not feel in
The least like sitting down-even eat his
supper off the mantelpiece.-New Or