The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-10-23
w1Fs and HfyaoR.I

III @~ss --
i The weigh of the hogrdresseris is lard.
i SOMETHING c,tesbeAi looked sinso-=A
mlrror.SE isfsTasds s'isEidaSsaH e'tf
PAYINa the 'piper-s Sestling with he
igas-fttef.S IS eTGs1H 70 R77r~ Qs7 2 IT
DEAD men tell, mo tales, but dead
walls aregwell posted.sdi DsG.a.t 5ak
@F1AT lux, ";commanded Edison, but
Lux somewhasa against Him. 2'fii oh
TEE man who married above his sta
hon was rsaroada conductor. y-.s..
CHIMNBY.swBEp1Ne must be a good
business; it, scots everybody who tries
t' ,yisii ldsiiLir6 ! Hot OF ;.,.'.
PATIENCE is,taughts by. q fish rod and
line, having worm sat one end and a
man at the others aiduvd, gu. .r.
: To BE interesting "a speaker should be
full of his subject, unless be happens to
} be speaking against liquor. Te -. ~.
A sooABLE man is onewho, when he
4 has ten minutes to spare, goes and
bothers somebody who hasn't. M ~
'ApR1Ml:DoS according to a Cock
ney, is naturally ,tmid creature, for
her art is always in her throat.
The Summer hotel clerk is now try
ing to. borrow dollar to take his dia-
.mond shirt 1stnd ont OF pawn.
A FASHION authority says the ladies
Will wear lawn more this summer. A
good lawn mower costs SIS.
IT is the opinion of the editor of the
Saltwater La1n,berma11 that Whom
the gods love eat cucumbers.", sa"t-
SAYS sententious writer, "No man.
is born wise." Just so. II he were wise,
he wouldn't care. to be born, probably.
TIE amount Of pin-money required
by the married woman depends on
whether. she uses diamond pins or roll
.ing-pins. ..s,s-.rlo,, =
ETIQUETTE says call should not be
less than fifteen minutes in length.
Book agents have been known to re-
main longer. t''',' o''- '',.''- ,.... 'o ... q"
GIVE got a frightful cold," some one
said to- @Cham," and I don't know
what to do to arrest it," Swallow a
policeman. ."A Paris paper. '~.r'
WHEN you observe family sitting
about the dinrer-table, each member
bathed in tears, remember that the
horseradish season is upon US.
THERE are. some things that are as
well kept dark. It isn't policy to throw
Light iupon nsuch q subject as an open
barrel iof gunpowder, for instance, .-.a
a. CANADIAN couple, Ion their way to-.
Dakota to, SETTLE weigh GA pounds; the
man 310a; pounds, and tho wife 3O4
pounds. Let us hope that they will be,
careful what they settle on. '' '''.
-. .IN;THE SPRING.
In the spring, the female fancy Z i'
~ Lightly turns to thought Of bonnet,
With maze Of gimp and ribbons
And bunch Of fea hers on 1t.
st. Louis Times. -" b. . .,.- .
IT is now announceaon the authority
If an "emin ent physician" that it is not
healthy to rise before 8 o'clock in the
morning. This applies only to men.
Wives, it is said, can rise at and start
he fire as heretofore. :,
The ether day the professor of Ger
nan asked an unregenerate Junior what
he'gender of certain noun was. The,
Junior quickly replied: Il think it Is.
leuter, sir; at any rate, it is neu ter
me-" ......... ....
That was CHASTITY joke that q sinful
ownsman played on q stranger whom
le. promised to introduce to rich.
,lanter, and then took him around and
resented him to the leading under
aker.-Yoskers Gazette. .....
A LADY engaged to be married, and
citing sick Of her bargain, applied TO-
friend to help her unite the knot be-
ore it was too late. "Oh, certainly"
he replied. at is very easy to unite
now while it is only beau knot
CABLING the waiter to him, he re-
larked in an insinuating tone, "The
in this are great deal
horter than the cake, and my purse is
luch shorter than the whole affair.
IouldI't you drop off rs cents on your
heck?"-Neiv Hauen Register. 80 70.
TIE retiring pastor Of a church in
Worcester, in q prayer before his fare
ell sermon, after having prayed for
very member of the church, the choir.
rganist, sexton, and ushers, finally
rayed for the cone who, although hid
en- from sight, yet contributes 80 much
}, the. musical part of our worship"
nding, 90, Lord, I mean tbs boy who
lows the organ!" ~
Hapk-Eye:; All Of one long, happy
our mamma had been reading to the,
tile ones, Sunday afternoon, and talk
10 to them about heaven and the
ngels, and showing them pictures Of
ngels, witt, their snowy wings. Sud
enly jack shouted, "Mother! When;
m an angel I want to be Shanghai.
hooked silence on the part OF the