The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-10-09
Gbs dddInlgtom Gnterprise.
]. W. HOUGHToN, Publisher.
VARIETIES.

vAAbkH AA<Ss
The first duty on Ito cross it.
"A bouncing baby-A rubber doll.
The Board of Education-The
schoolmaster' shingle.
Now is the time to put up your
stovepipe and get your fall SCOT
An undertaken gets his living where
another man dies.-Iurner' Fails Re-
porter.
"A sociable man is one who, when
he has ten minutes to spare, goes and
bothers some one who hasn't.
Nature never designed the interior
of pumpkin to hold a candle, but the
small boy did, and that's where he got
in one extra.-Free Press.
"A recalcitrant youth confidentially
suggests that all the accidents resulting
from misplaced switches do not get into
the papers.-N. Y. Graphic.
{ Autumn leaves will wear the same
colors this year as last. The New Or
leans Picayit,se says there is no fashion
able nonsense about nature.
The correspondent who wants to
dispose of q business on account of i'll
health, should say whether his business
is unhealthy or only !himsef.-N. o..
Picayune.
1t is to be inferred from the Syracuse
Herald that this country is not getting
a square deal: awe are sending En-
gland wheat, and England is sending
us-pedestrians."
There are seven different ways of
adulterating cider, but the cheapest is
to slosh in about ten gallons of water
<~E No
object to water.-Free Press.
"A writer says cit requires man
of good sense to fall in love with plain
woman" The Boston Post does not
believe the man lives who dares to
claim that he has shown good sense OF
that variety.
Some Western editor, having ex-
hausted his credit at contiguous bar
rooms, has written a touching article
showing the extent of ''dry spells" dur
ing past seasons for many years past
N. Y. Graphic.
1t being claimed by one of the
sterner sex that man was made first and
lord of creation, the question was asked
by an indignant beauty how long he
remained lord of creation. It'll he
got wife," was the reply.
First Boy Where yer bin,
BillyP' Second Boy Bin fishin'."
First Boy" Ketch anythin'P'' with an
anxious expression on his face. Far
seeing Second Boy" No. But l ex-
pect Ter when / git in the house. IN.
Y Era.
The politician who is Gin the
hands of his friends" gets out of their
hands mighty quick if informed that he
hadn't better run for Office. No man
is friend to him who can't see his
high and many qualifications.-Free
Press.
The Boston Transcript says the first
step in getting remunerative employ
ment is to learn to do something that
everybody else can't do. Everybody
can't edit a paper, yet we hear of few
who find remunerative employment in
it.-Cincinndti Saturday Night.
%, what a thing is Lowell
1t cometh from above,
And, 'lighteth like dove
On some.
But some 1t never hits
Except It give them fits
And take away their Wits
o, hum!
Boston Transcript.
"A Georgia colored debating society
was lately discussing (Which is best
for the laboring man, to work for
wages, or part of the cropP" An old
"uncle'' spoke the sense of the meet
ing when he said: "Bofe was de best,
eff dey could only be brung togedder
somehow" 80 =
If you see q clerk who earns eight
dollars week, and lives at first-class
clearinghouse, riding in an elegant
turnout with his girl and would like to
cruelize him little, stop his carriage
and inquire in a semi-confidential tone:
How long have you been saving upP'
It's sure wilter, every time.-NeD
HaUes Register.
"A Brooklyn woman who married a
German Count, who turns out to be not
Count and of no account, prays for a
divorce. There is no need of American
women marrying bogus Counts, when
the genuine article is plenty and low
priced. 1t is a commodity, however,
which is unusually dear at any price
Philadelphia Chrontcle.
An exchange says some business
men never spend cent for advertising,
either in the newspaper or any other
way. In the stores of such men are
generally seen old barrel heads, on
which are inscribed in chalk or char
coal such devices as these: Flower,
Korn Meel, Pertatoes. Pourk, Cheze,
Kaliker, Kountrey projuice bawt and
sould, gooIs cheap for Kash, Tee, Shu-
gar, etc. -r
"A Dutchman, the proprietor of q
Colorado line of stages. was collecting
two dollars apiece from the passengers,
by way of fare. All had paid except
one, and he, drawing large revolver,
pointed it at the head of the collector
and hoarsely asked: "Won't that pass
mep" Perfectly unmoved the Dutch
man said: 80! no; we eats dem tings
here. Two tollars, please"
There was sgreaSexcitementin in front
of fruit commission house on South
Water street, little after one O'Clock
yesterday afternoon. A party of dealers
overhauling and investigating a large
lot of peaches which had Just arrived in
the market, discovered one basket with
the fruit just as good at the bottom as
at the top. The error was soon recti-
fed and quiet restored. Chicago Jour
| Tobacco.