The Portland daily press., 1879-04-12
shew thee; thy Elders and they will tell
thee" Let us hear no more of the blunted
perceptions of the pilgrim fathers, for they
were men, physically and mentally.


thee" Let us hear no more of the bluuted
perceptions of the pilgrim fathers, for they
were men, physically and mentally.
EBoRACUs.
| An amusing illustration of John-Bullisn
is furnished in the extract given below from
an English paper accused of stealing Ameri
can jokes. An intelligent jury would acqui
tne trades Journal without leaving its seat
Ihere IS occasionally, it is true, an attempt
at imitation of the American paragraph, but
so nat failure is it, that no action of plagar-
ism can be sustained. Here is the extract
mentioned:
It has been asserted of the average Ameri.
can that unless he sees a joke at once he ney.
er sees it at all; but then only the latter hall
of this assertion can be said to be true. An
American contemporary has had the auda'
cious effrontery to charge The Paper and
Printing Trades Journal with stealing from
American papers some of its wittiest para
graphs and best jokes. The Americans as a
nation are allowed to be smart; they are also
tribe sharp, and some of them can tell a
better imitation of lie, without getting
clean out of the track of truth, than most
ing they are absolutely nowhere; it may be
the climate, or 1t may be the admixture of
race, but whatever sense of the ludicrous, or
power to appreciate joke or make one for
merry existed, died out generations ago.
American newspapers are the dullest and
most prosaic reading in the world, and in
some States whole communities have COM
pletely lost the power to laugh; the facial
muscles used for working gentle ripple up
to hilarious explosion, have grown, from
want of use, taut and rigid as catgut. Amer
ican editors are almost compelled to visit this
country every few years, otherwise they lose
the power of appreciating joke, and are apt
TO get their religious" and "amusine" items
somewhat mixed certainly not a matter OF
much Importance when it is borne in mind
that few readers can appreciate the difference.
Broadly speaking the American idea OF
wit appears to consist in the IN. B.-this is
COAX" style, and in telling huge examiners
with an air of truthful candor and childke
simplicity.
1t is matter of history that the English
Joe Miller never perpetrated joke or said
gosd thing in his life. He flourished in the
last century, and was constant haunter OF
one OF the old Fleet-street taverns, frequented
in those days by wits and beaux OF society,
whose highly favoured conversation was Of
the spciest, but no bon mot ever extracted
the shadow of smile from Joe; he stoldly
sat through it all day by day, and at last,
when particularly good story was told, it
came to be fathered as a joke upon Joe Mil
ler-and this is how Joe got his reputation.
Now Americans are all Joe Mlllers-they
may net know it-but than neither did Joe.
There are some American newspapers which
must be credited with. printing some really
witty things. But they are all stolen from
the English papers.
This is the funniest thing in the Journal,
and only funny because written in all seri-
business. The intination that the Ameri-
cans seek humor in the columns of English
newspapers, may amuse those who have
ever tried, because of sentimental regard
for mother-land, to read an English news
paper. Here are few original and profess
sedly funny paragraphs from the paper under
consideration:
Nothing draws such bitter tears from a
printer as having his last match go out, es-
pecially when he has just chawed off the end
of his cigar.
Every man may in sense be his own Job
printer, ii he knows enough to leave his i'm
print on the rosy lips that say, "Oh, now
don'tn
How to escape being made as fat as ditch
water Don't run yourself through your own
printing press. Proved.
What is the greatest stand ever made for
civilization? The inkstand.
Financing used to be considered clever !;
nova days it is the art of noughtiness.
Don't go fooling about newspaper machines
unless you want to be an angel and wear no
other clothing than wings. .t
g c.yc rcSx1 cd TIM 1fr- -r,F NNl
loW-eyed despair: the last Quad-somethine
aWfully good-to fill up this column is pied
and we cannot tor the life of US remember
what it was.
"Base is the slave who pays"-but YOU
don't get the Journal without: now's the
time to indulge in shlling's worth of de-
pravity.
..Time flies" said the foreman, suggest
lively. "Yes," answered the devil, meditat-
lively, "Time flies were gone.''
The time when pious editor is excusable
for knocking splinters from the third COM
mandment is when he iabs the wrong end OF
his penholder into the inkstand and hastily
shoves it behind his ear without wiping.
A mongrel wandered into the machine
room the other day, and rushing wildly
about got entangled in the machinery: in
less than brace of shakes he was dissemin-
ating crude sausage meat and driving gloves
lHpartlally around.
Changing ones appearance too suddenly
is always dangerous experiment. A news
paper man who shaved off his moustache and
beard the other week was promptly run in by
the police, as he exactly answered to the de-
scriptlon OF a notorious burglar. The same
evening his wife bankrupted handle
and demoralized brand new silk hat in chas.
ing him out
Q. E D.-The daughter of a wellknown
Waggish printer writes us that she is puzzled
over the meaning of the word 'Quads,' p
heading one OF the columns of the Journal
her father tells her that it is an abbrevation
OF Quod erat denaonstrGndum, but as he
laughed when he gave the explanation, she
thinks it just possible that he was roking fun
at her. 1t is an unholy thing on the part oil
our fair correspondent to doubt the word ol
doating parent.
The London physicians are recommending
champagne in case Of too much braln- work,
and the boys employed on the Journal who
used to sneak into the bar by the back door
| now boldly walk in at the front entrance
| Thus far no one here has been laid up witt
brain fever, which is consoling anyhow.
Could gentle dulness further go!
-"B' brings to the Drawer curious ant
delightful discussion of the claims of Moses t.
rank as great military Chief Whatever th'
mistakes of the Hebrew law-giver, Msjo
| Hoffmeister, now in the service of his impe
rial and apostolic majesty, does not consdel
them to be mistakes in war. The followin:
is CPS" communication in which the specu
lations of the Austrian staff-oficer are Sc
| forth. Yoriek trusts that "B" will go Oh
with his German researches and toss tbt
fruit of his study into the Drawer:
Every day of my life, dear Yorick, throw
aside all my student books in English, Frencl
and German, and lay hold on something il
| the literary line in that grand language, Gea
man. And thereupon l sink myself into tn
language, reading it per Sc, not transating it
even to myself, but reading it as native
would read, and so seeing deeper into it, as
think, than in any other way. Wonderful a
language is German, but still more wonder
full and admirable is the depth into which th'
German mind has plunged. What wealtl
| of thought, concealed oftentimes beneath an
almost overpoweriDg complexity of construc
tion. Your true German labors Vigorously
to hide bis meaning; he seems to say: "here
you reader, there is grain or two Of purl
gold here; 1t is for you to sift the chaf ant
the sand, to stumble over the gravel and peh
bles, and find the precious thought beneatl
| nonoaaIad