Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-05-24
A Railway Conversations.

The last time ran home, over the Chicago,
but select and entertaining party on the train
1t was warm day, and every body was tired
with the long ride and oppressed by the heat
The precise woman, with her hat swathed In an
immense blue VEIL who always parsed her SEN
fences before she uttered them, utterly wora
out and thoroughly lonesome. was glaa 10 re-
spond TO the pleasant nod OF the Dig Ioush man
who got on at Monmouth, and didn't know
enough grammar TO ask for the mustard 50 that
you could tell whether he wanted you 70 pass II
to him or pour 1t on MS halr. Inc tnin, trOu-
bled looking man with the sandy goatee, who
stammered so dreadfully that he always forgot
what he wanted TO say before he got through
wrestling with any word with w" In it, lit
ticed this indication OF SOciaOlity, for like most
men who find 1t extremely difficult to talk at
all, he wanted to talk all the time. And the fat
old gentleman sitting opposite him, who was
SO deaf he couldn't near the cars rattle and al
ways awed and bothered the stammerer into
silence by saying Hey?" In very imperative
hard word, cooked his irascible head on one
side as he saw this SMILE and after listening In
tently to dead silence for minute suddenly
Droke out with such an emphatic, impatient:
"Hey?'
That everybody in the car started up and
houted. nervously and ungramniatically:
81 didn't say nOthiDg!'
With the exception Of the woman with the
tue veil. who said:
81 said nothing
The fat old gentleman was little annoyed
fixing his gaze still more intentiy upon the thin
an, said, def1antly:
"Wha' sayG"
"II-I-I-I w-w-wuh- Wuh-Wuh-W aSn'-Wa5n-
i WASH s-s-sp-speak-'
"Hey?' rOared the fat man.
"He want sayin' nauthin," shouted the big
the thin man; :. he haint opened his MOUTH
"Soap In the South?" Queried the fat old man,
impatiently. 'Wha' for?''
mouth, mouth" explained the precise
irnnrpSSi-a
.opened his mouth The gentleman seated
directly opposite you was"
OFFERS TO chew What7" cried the fat old
gentleman, in amaZement
Sir" said the precise woman, 81 made no
reference whatever to chewing. You certainly
misunderstood me-
The thin man took courage from SO MAN. re-
Inducements and broke In:
I'LL d-d-d-dud dud- dud-dontdon't, I
don't ch-ch-ch-"
"Hey % shouted the fat gentleman.
she don't chaw nauthfn' :" roared the big
rough man, In voice that made the car Win
dows rattle. "He want a talkin' When you
shot Off at him"
"Who got orr, exclaimed the fat old gentle.
man. "Wha'd' he say so for7" shouted the fat
man.
:" Oh!'' said the thin man, in surprising burst
OF huency- "He-he- he d did did
"Who did?' quer1ed the fat man, talking
louder than any one else.
MINIMUM num-n-nO-n nobody nobody. He
he Odd dud didn't didn't didn't s."
"You misunderstood him." interrupted the
precise woman; 8. he was probably about to re-
mark that no reference whatever had been In
tentionaily made to the departure Of any per-
son from the train, when you interrupted him
In the midst Of an unfinished senteace; and
hence obtained an erroneous impression of the
tenor OF hts remarks. He meant no offence
"Know fence." roared the fat man, "of
course know fence.'
ale haint got middlin' good hearin'," yelled
the big rough man, as apOlOgetically as steam
whistle could have shrieked it; years kind Of
stuffed up!''
for?-
.No," shrieked the precise woman: "he re-
marked to the other gentleman that your near-
Ing appeared to be rather defective."
HIS father detecuiye.' hooted the fat gen.
tleman in amaZeulent.
sN-n-n-nun- nun no." broke In the thin man:
" h-h-h-h-huh-huh-he s-5-Sa- Sa- Said-Said you
deaf.' ''''0
"Said was a thief ~ howled the fat man, a
scarlet tornado OF wrath, ''Sald was a thief!
Wha' dye mean? Show him to me, Who saws
I'm a theft Who says so9"
Now" shouted the big rough man, "nooody
don't say e amt no thief. I jest sayed as how
we di1nt git along very well. Ye see he," nod
cling to the thin man, '.he can't talk very well
an
individually c-c-can't he t-t-t-tut-tut-
tut TALK" broke In the thin man, white with
rage. "II-I-'d like tito know wh-wh-wh-
what's the reason / c-c-c-can't tut tut-talk as
w-w-w-w-well as any bub- bub body that's bu5-
bub bub been tut-tut-talking on this car ever
ss-Ssince the tut-tut tut"
Hey?n roaEed the fat man, In an explosion OF
indignant suspicion.
"I was Sayih'," howled the big rough man.
Gas how he didn't talk middlin' we'll"
should say so, "growled the fat man, in tones
of intense satisfaction.
''And," the big rough man went on, yelling
with delight at having made the old party hear
something, "and you can't hear only toilabie-"
Cant hear!' the fat old gentleman broke
out In resonant roar. "Can't hear! Like to
know why can't hear? why can't I? II
couldn't hear better than half the people on
this train, I'd cut OH my ears! Can't hear?
It's Eews to me If can't. I'd like to know
who"
burlington ~ yelled the brakeman. "Chag
car f'r KeOkuk, Coed Rap's, an For Madison!
This car fr Omaha TWEEN minis superb
And but for this timely interruption, / don't
think our pleasant little party would have got
out OF that snarl this side Of San Francisco
burlington Harkeye.