The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-07-04
BEAUTIES OF THE ALARM CLOCK.

DHdO14HC OF IdE ALARM CLOCK.
We can never forget the feeling of
deep satisfaction we experienced when
we purchased an alarm clock We new
er needed anything of the kind in our
young days. Our much respected an
cestor answered every purpose in those
days, and he possessed one advantage
that no alarm clock ever dId-when we
Jailed to get up at the first alarm he
would go off fifteen times as loud the
second time, and the third time-well.
the people are already bored to death
with the third term question, and, be-
sides, we do not like to say Just what
did happen.
When we went out into the cold world
we soon found that our better-half had
not been brought up as she should have
been, and we could not depend on her to
wake up early in the morning.
We took the alarm clock home, and as
we arranged it to explode at 6 a. m, we
felt that our trouble in this matter was
forever ended. That night we dreamed
that Prof. Tice had predicted cyclone
that would blow potatoes out of the
ground. We were trying to build up
hope that for once the professor might
be mistaken. But the storm came
promptly to time, and everything begun
to go to pieces, and we were rushing
wildly about with VAIN hope that we
might fall into a well when a water
spout busted over US with uhheard of
fury. Just as we were beginning to
drown, we woke up and found ourself
somewhat mixed up with the legs of the
wash stand, and the contents of the wa
ter pitcher flooding our devoted back,
while the COMPOUNDED clock was tearing
away at an uncompromising rate. The
next morning we woke up little ahead
of the clock, and after that we would of
ten lay and doze for long time in the
morning in state of great mental dis
tress for fear the clock would go off and
we would have to get up. We felt great
satisfaction when Sunday morning came
and we did not have to get up when the
alarm sounded.
On Monday morning we were COM
PEELED to get up very early and go to
neighboring town by the morning train
We set the alarm half an hour earlier
than necessary so we would be sure to
be in time. We retired early so we
would be sure to wake when the alarm
sounded. We started up in the night
with a vivid impression that we had
oversight Ourself We struck a match
and found that it was only 11:15, we
dozed again, and our wife started us up
and was sure she heard the alarm some
time ago, but it was only 2: 10 a. m. We
looked at our watch to make sure that
clock was still right. We dropped off
again and the next thing we were con-
scious of, was that the train had gone
and that we were left, a match showed
us that it was only 3 80 a. m. We fell
asleep again and slept until the clock
sounded and woke us, we had half an
hour to go on so there was no use of be-
ing in hurry. While we were resting
and getting ready to get up, the ticking
of the clock sounded so loud that we got
to thinking about reading a story of
fellow counting the ticking of clock
for number of hours and winning a
bet and we began to count, just to see
how it would go. We counted up to
thirty nine and were waiting to think
forty when our wife shook us up
and as we scrambled out of bed, our
whole soul was flooded with a convic-
ton that we had done something wrong.
When we got our eyes open it was broad
daylight and the hands of the clock
pointed to the absurd hour of 7:1O a. m.
The train had been gone an hour and a
half. We resolved to kick the clock full
of holes, but thought better of it and
consoled ourself by saying that it was
all Greek to us why our wife could never
by any chance wake up in the morning
when we had important business on
hands. After this the clock would
sometime cause us to dream of being
annoyed by boys running stick along
the picket fence, but we did not often
loose our temper enough to wake up.
Yes, the alarm clock is a good thing.
Every family should have one. Still it
has its feelings. Like religion or con-
science it will soon adapt itself to the
habits or inclinations of the owner and
will not do to depend on for special oc-
oaciOno OIrrTu