Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-02-22
Josh Billings Philosophy.
A JOB LOT.

It il an historical fakt that the big
gest bores we hav seem to kno it the
least.
Luv ov notoriety allwuss makes
phool ov man, and often, at least,
knave.
The cheapest and best eddikashun I
kno ov liz to learn from the experiences
ov others.
The man who kan git the most truth
into the fewest words. il the best fell
low going.
don't see how q man who hain't
got emmy pashuns kan be entitled to
emmy kredit for his virtews.
Wimmin and horses are alike in one
respekt-the more we kno about them.
the more we hav to find out.
The most popular people are those
who let us see just enuff ov themselfs
to make us wish.to see more.
Inever hav seen ennyboddy yet that
waz perfekt, but l hav seen some SO
perfekt that they want agreeable.
A hereafter may be all q myth, but j
am far happier in mi beleaf ov it than
emmy Infidel kan be in hiz doubt.
A truly wise man very seldom re-
sorts to cunning, but if he ever duz,
he liz almost sure to git beat hi it.
Thare may be people without sim
gle vice, and others without single
virtew, but never hav met them.
When see what man haz allreddy
dun, am satisfied thare IL nothing out
ov the reach ov hiz energy in this
world.
Ackshun seems to me to be the CRATE
power in eloquence hav seen even
dogs ask eloquently for a piece ov bred
or bone.
We ore too apt to look upon Fate az
sumthing that anticipates us. We make
our own fate, and too often out ov very
poor materials.
The mass ov mankind never kno
what is going on bak ov the foot-lights
and drop-kurtain, and it il just az well
that they don't.
I kno what tree will make shingles
hi looking at it this i call instinkt,
and it haz been worth more to me than
college farming.
Irather like them kind ov folks who
set down square in a chair, and lean
bak hard they akt to me az tho they
had cum to stay.
We are Citing 80 highly eddikated
and civilized, that it liz easier to prove
a lie now days than it was the truth
hundred years ago.
We are q set ov conseitcd asses emmy
how we think we kan see right thru
ennybody, but don't think ennybody
kan see q half an inch into us.
Thare il sutch thing az male CO.
quetry, but it il dredphull spooney
goods in woman dash ov coquetry
IL az delikate az the tint in tulip.
Yung fellow, think ov this: The
world won't give yu emmy kredit for the
money that yu hav squandered, but
what yu make, and hang onto they will.
I rather think the man that lies and
don't kno it, il cheaper man in the
market than the one who lies and does
kno it, but may be mistaken about
this.
The more branes party has got, the
more eddicashun they kan stand. The
richest and strongest ground will take
the most manure weak soils are ct up
hi it.
Would to God that the sorrows and
trials ov life would allwuss cum early,
and that the old mans evening would
allwuss be peaceful, but alas it is not
allwuss so.
Iluv mi phellow kritters not so mulch
for the virtew 1 find in them, but be-
kause God haz made us out ov the same
material, and made us dependent on
each other.
The person who liz allwuss taking
medisin for fear he will git six, IL more
ov an invalid than the one who IL all
wuss taking medisin for the sake ov
Citing we'll.
What the world wants most Just now
il more honesty and less genius things
hav got so krooked that yu can't hardly
find COW even that kan give milk that
amt watered.
Snobs are ov oil patterns and all de-
grees !; emmy man or woman IL snob
who trys to gain hi pretenshun the no.
tiss or respekt which il due only to ka-
pasity and honesty.
I hav studded excitements sum, and
MKT in menny ov them, and T think
that dog fire and balky horse are
the two things that will stir up the harts
ov the masses most.
Mankind luv q marvel. A mouse
with 2 tails haz at least one tail and a
half more than he kan use to advantage,
and yet thare il plenty of pholks that
will give 40 dollars for that tailed
mouse.
Yung man, people will tell yu that
yu kant suckceed without genius or
talent but Josh SEE to you, If yu are
honest and earnest yu are az sure to
suckceed az the earth il to turn on its
axletree.
I hav known people who were boil
ing over with religion to cool off in a
minnitt, when they saw subskripshun
paper for painting the church, or for
buying the minister's wife nu sett ov
white krockery ware.
The writers ov every age hav cen.
sured fattery in the strongest terms
but after all, the hattery that we re-