davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

THE modestest person we ever knew
was the boy who was caught pelting
an apple tree by its enraged owner. In
reply to the violent demand, wv that's
your name:" the boy reptile / without
hesitation, "My name is Cuspard, sir,
and live on Pine street.-the same
being the name and address of a school
fellow. He was too modest TO give his
own name. Said the orchard owner,
cooling down, ''Well, you have been so
honest in telling your name, will let
you go this time" This is the only time
we ever heard oil modesty receiving its
pro per reward.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

HoNoRED AND BLESSED. - W hen a
board of eminent physicians and chem
lists announced the discovery that by
combining some well known valuable
remedies, the most wonderful medicine
was produced, which would cure such
a wide range of diseases that most all
other remedies could be dispensed with,
many were sceptical; but proof of its
merits by actual trial has dispelled all
doubt, and to-day the discoyerers OF
that great medicine. Hop Bitters, are
honored and blessed by all as benefae-
tors
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

BUNs.-A cupful of water, the same
of yeast and of sugar, two cupfuls OF
sweet milk, flour enough to make stiff
batter. Let this rise over night. In
the morning add cupful of sugar and
cupful, each, of butter and raisins, or
currants. Mould well, and raise until
light; then make into buns, raise again
and bake.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

BAKED INDIAN PUDDING. Two quarts
of milk brought to boil; stir in meal
until as thick as water -gruel-it re-
quires about two-thirds of cup. When
cool, add three eggs, butter the size of
a large egg, and sugar to SUIT the taste;
flavor with allspice and very little GIN
ger. Bake two hodrs
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

He could stand it, he said, to have
his wife paint everything, from a tin
cup to an old straw hat, and stick it all
over with cupids and heathen Chinese.
But when she swooped down on their
mince pie, and embeilished that, he
thought it was time to "kick." And he
did.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

a TUTOR of a college lecturing a
young man on his irregular conduct
added, with earnest pathos, 1.-The report
Of your vices will bring your fathers
gray haIr with sorrow 10 the grave" :"
81 beg pardon, sir" replied the pupil :,
"my father wears a wig"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

NELLY-"Mamma, may go to Brid-
gets cousins wife's funeral to-mor-
row." Mamma-''No, my dear; you
went to a party last night and to the
matinee to-day. l think you have had
quite enough amusements for the pre-
sent
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

Philosophy triumphs easily enough
over past and future evils, but present
evils triumph over philosophy.
There are only two heavens-one
above in glory, the other below in the
broken heart.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

IL the past eight years, scores
soaps have come into the market, and
being worthless, have died a natural
death. Dobbins' Electric Soap, (made
by Cragin Il Co., Philad'a.,) old and
reliable, leads the van. Try it.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

A PREACHER may get soaking wet on
his way to church, and yet be ex-
ceedingly dry the moment he mounts
the pulpit.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

TALK about the missing link as much
as you will, the world at large will keep
both eyes fixed on the young man who
makes his first appearance in society in
a claw-hammer coat.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

A MAN missed corn from his garner,
and his suspicious rested upon reck-
less fellow whom everybody called sam.
The corn was kept in a chamber over
the kitchen adjoining the woodshed,
towards which the chamber was ieit
open ani accessible by a ladder. Inc
victim of this midnight ''theffery," as
another called it, determined to satisfy
himself concerning the identity OF the
thief, made temporary bed upon the
kitchen floor and lay down to wateh.
About the time when grayeyards yawn
he was aroused from partial slumoer
by a noise overhead, when he suddenly
called out at the top of his voice
s.Sam ?'' ''Hallo, :" responded the thief,
taken entirely offhis guard by this sud-
den call. "DOn't take more than a
bushel. .'Then | shall have to pour II
back, for I've got two i'll the bag al
ready"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

f F. Kunksl's Worm Syrup never fails to
destroy Pin, Seat and Stomach Worms DIR.
Kunkel the only successful physician who re-
moves Tape Worm in two hours. alive with
head, and no fee until removed. Common
sense teaches If Tape Worms can be removed all
other worms can be readily destroyed. Advice
at Office and store free. The doctor can tell
whether or not the patient has worms Thou
sands are dying, daily. with worms, and do not
know it. Fits, spasms, cramps, choking and
sufocaton, sallow complexion, circles around
the eyes, swelling and pam in the stomach,
RESTLESS at night, grinding OF the teeth, picking
at the nose, cough, fever, itching at the seat,
headache, foul breath, the patient grows pale
and thin, tickling and irritation in the anus
all these symptoms, and more, come from
worms. e T. Kunkel's Worm Syrup never
fails to remove them. Price, FL 90 per bottle.
or Elk bottles for IS 90. (For Tape Worm,
write and consult the Doctor.) For all others,
buy of your druggist the Worm Syrup. and II
he has it not send to DR.. E Z. kunkel, 259
n. Ninth. street Philadelphia, Pa Advice by
mail, free; send three-cent stamp.
DyspePsiai Dyspepsia Dyspepsia!
E. F. Kunkers Bitter Vine OF Iron. q sure
cure for this disease. II has been prescribed
daily for many years in the practice OF eminent
physicians with unparalleled success. Synp-
toms are lcss Of appetite. wind. and rising Of
food dryness ID mouth, headache, dizziness,
zleeplessness. aud low spirits Get the genuine.
Not sold in bulk. only In sl.00 bottles. or SIX
bottles fer $500. Ask your druggist for E. +.
KUNkEL'S Bitter Wine of Iron and take no
other. IL he has II not, send to proprietor
E F. KUNKEL. 259 y. Ninth St, Philadel-
rhia, Pa Advice free enclose three-cent
stamp.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

A PRETTY girl won a musket at a
lottery. When they gave it to her she
asked, Don't they give a soldier with
it? ?"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06
AGRICULTURE.

Tur Digestion OF THE HORsE.-The
horses stomach has capacity OF only
about sixteen quarts, while that of the
OK has two hundred and fifty. In the
intestines this proportion is reversed,
the horse having a capacity OF one hun
dred and ninety quarts, against one
hundred of the OK. The OK and most
other animals have gall-bladder for
the retention of part of the bile Sc
creted during digestion; the horse has
none. and the bile flows directly into
the intestine as fast as seereted. This
construction of the digestive apparatus
indicates that the horse was formed to
eat slowly and digest continually bulky
and innutritious food. When fed on
hay it passes very rapidly through the
stomach into the intestine. The horse
can eat but five pounds of hay in an
hour, which is charged. during masti-
cation. with four times its weight of
saliva. Now the stomach, to digest II
well, will contain but about ten quarts,
and when the animal eats one-third oi
his daily ration, or seven pounds, IN
one and one-half hours, he has swal-
lowed, at least, two stomachs 1ull Oh
hay and saliva, one OF these having
passed to the intestine. Observation
has shown that the food is passed to
the intestine by the stomach in the or
der in which it is received. If we feed
horse six quarts of oats il will just NIL
his stomach, and if, rs soon as he nm
ishes this, we feed him the above ration
of seven pounds of hay, he viii eat
sufficient in three quarters OF an hour
TO have forced the oats entirely out OF
his stomach into the intestine. As 1t Is
the office of the stomach to digest the
nitrogenous parts OF the feed, and as a
stomachful of oats contains four or hve
times as much of these as the same
amount of hay, it is certain that either
the stomach must secrete the gastric
Juice five times as fast, which is hardly
possible, or it must retain this food five
times rs long. BY feeding the oats
first. it can only be retained long enough
for the proper digestion of hay, conse-
quently 1t seems logical, when feeding
a concentrated food like oats, with
bulky one like hay, to feed the latter
first, giving the grain the whole time
between the repasts TO be digested.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

Dyspepsia!

HIEsKE1Iis letter Ointment will cure Sore
Eyelids Sore Nose, Barber's Itch on the face,
or Grocer's Itch on the hands 1t never fails.
50 cents per box. sent by mail for GO cents.
Johnston, Holloway 4 Co.,
COZ Arch St., Phlla-, Pa.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

BEST CAKE.-One pound of sugar; six
eggs; one cup butter; one cup milk;
four cups flour; one teaspoOnful soda
and two of cream-tartar.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

A FRENCH CLOCK. .-"What," the
Young man asked the young woman
who was patiently waiting for him To
ask for his hat, "what do | put you in
mind Off"
"A French clock" she said, softly.
And pretty soon he arose and went
his way.
The next morning he called upon an
eminent horologist, and asked him
what was the distinguished trait of a
French clock. 10 which the horoio-
gist replied:
"Why, it never goes"
And the young man was sOrely east
down, and he grieved and told no man
of his hurt.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

GENUINE benevolence is like a turkey
on spit before the fire; it keeps going
around and doing good.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

HIEsKEIL's TETTER OINTMENT VIII cure al
abby OF scaly diseases OF the skin.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

A Fool ONCE MoRE.-''For ten years
NV wife was confined to her bed with
such a complication of ailments that no
doctor could tell what was the matter
or cure her, and | used up small for
tune in humbug stuff. Six months ago
saw L. ,. flag with Hop Bitters on
it, and 1 thought 1 would be fool once
more. | tried it, but my folly proved
to be wisdom. Two bottles cured her,
she is now as well and strong as any
mans wife, and it cost me only two
dollars. Such folly pays.-H. w., De-
troit, Mich.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06
WORMS.
WORMS
WORNIS

IL YOU ARE NERVOUS AND DEPREssED tax
HooFIASD's GERMAN BTrrKRs-
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06

TOR SALE OR EXCHANGE FOB RSIo5kli
i PERTY, either m New 1SfA,, A,,tiRE. -
Philadelphia, TWENTY >EN = Ibilh -.
located and productive land unlel - r-p.sts =
cultivation, with a Mansion Hour,s our ss-.
every convenience: portrrs lodge a. -. Sc. =.
barns and stable. ice and green uo =. ..iusi--'
several hundred pear trees, srap.-,- Pali.
Olney, miles north from Mars a. Paiai....
and NewtOwn Railroad This = a,nI % -
investment for a capitalist, az it !. e.uI.
Increase in value FOR ful paIi ,.'' sons, a.
zs3 WALNUT street fhi''-
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-08-06
The Voice Of WOrshin
FATINITZa
PINAEORE

The new and very favorite opera. 4.
MN words N three ianguag's.aI all M % ~ I'd
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-01-29
Advice to Skaters.

l. Never try to skate IA two di-
rections at once, 1t always ends in
sorrow.
Eat few apples for refresh
ment sake while skating, and be sure
to throw the cores on the ice.
q. Sit down occasionally, no mat
ter where. There is no law to pre-
vent a new beginner from sitting
down where he has an inclination 20
do so.
T. When you mss. particularly
handsome lady Try to skate on both
sides of aer at once. This is very
pretty. and very sure to create SEN
sation.
5. Skate over all the small boys at
once.
6. If you skate into hole in the
ice, take it coolIy. Think how you
would feel if the water vas boiling
hot
/. II your skates are tao ssppery,
buy a new pair. Aeep buying new
pairs III yoa and pair that are not
slippery.
s. IBsitiing down do it gradually.
Don't be too sudden, ycp might break
the ice.
s When you fall keadlong. ex-
anime the straps OF your skates very
carefully before you get up
To- Wear d heavy ovefeoas or
CLOAK ull you get thoroughly warmed
up, and then let the wind cool you
oG
H. After you get so that you can
skate tolerabiy well skate three or
four hours-ssste frantically-sss se
till you cant stand up.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-01-29
- ~
winter Kuies-

Never lean with the back upon
anything that is cold
Neyer begin journey until The
breakfast las been eaten.
Never take warm drinks and then
immediately go out in the cold air.
Keep the bsek-espeeialiy between
the r-bIades-well covered
also the chest well protected.
In sleeping in : cold room. esisb-
lish the lseit Of breathing through
ssc nose, and never with tee mouth
open
Neye3 go TO sed with cold or damp
feet /: always toast them by fire
tea or fifteen minutes before going to
bed.
Never omi. regular bathing, fer.
unless the skin is in active condition
lhe cold will close he pores. and "a
vor congestion OF other diseases
After exercise Of any kind, never
ride in an open carriage, nor neat
the window Of q car for q moment
It is dangerous to health, and even te
life.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-01-29
Heading on n Lawyer.

Rufus Choste, in an important ma
rine sssault-and-battery-a case
had Dick Barton, chief mate of the
clipper ship Challenge, on the stand,
and bsdgered him 80 for about an
hour, that at last Dick got bis salt
water up, and bsuled by the wind to
bring the keen Boston lawyer under
his batteries.
At the beginning OF his testimony
Dick had said that the night was
dark as the devil. and raining like
seven bella'
Suddenly Mr.. Choate asked bin.
Was there q moon thai night 2
Yes, SIR
'Ab, yes, A moon
Yes, foil moon
Did you see 1t p
Not mite.'
Then how do you know there was
a moon?
Nautical almanac said so, and III
believe that sooner than any lawyer
10 this world
What was the principal lGmlnary
that night, cir p
'Binnscle lamp oa beard the Chal-
leDge.'
'Ah-yOc are growing sharp. Mr.
Barton
What in blazes have you been
grinding me this hour forte make
me dull?'
BE civil, sir. And now tell me 10
what latiiade and longitude you
ezossed the equator
'Sho, you're joking?'
No, sir | am in earnest, and
desire you TO answer me-
i sbab't'
'Ah-ycu refuse to answer; do
youp
'Yes-I can't
Indeed. You are chief mate Of a
clipper ship, and unable to answer so
simple question
Yes, tits the simplest question
ever was asked in my life. Why,
thought every fool of lawyer knew
there amt no la.isaue on the equa-
tor
Tsst shot aoored Rufus Chaats.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-01-29
Oranges

The constantly extending ravages
of the phylloxera have induced the
Inhabitants Of certain wine-growing
countries to consider from what fruit
might be obtained a product which.
By appearance, taste, sRd bouquet
would most resemble the juice of the
grape. Experiments have beeo
made, and the fact has been estab-
lished that the liquid extracted from
the orange would constitute a re-
source on which to fall back. The
Grst trials made showed that the or
anges when they have attained their
faH development, are unfit for the
purpose proposed, and they mus. be
selected, not when they have be-
come quite mature and supersbound
in the sngary principle, but before
they are wholly ripe and still pos
sess an appreeiable lsmount Of cit
ric and malic acids. At present. 4
different sorts Of wines have been OBJ
tanned from that fruit. One called
imperial, and a dry wine. are pro-
dGeed IN Jaausry with the fruit Of
the season; another, the mandariaa.
is furnished By the orange gathered
in April. These three sorts have a
color pleasing to the eve, are per
fectlY translueid, have an agreeable
sagOr, with slight tinge of ac;dity.
and an alcoholic richness Of about l.
per cent As 10 the fourth, a spark
ling vine prepared by 3 special pro-
cess, it possesses little more than II
per cent. OF alcohol. However, the
experiments made hitherto are stifl
too insufficient, and the methods Of
fabrication too rudimentaFy for the
article to be placed upon the mar
ket. Besides, another very import
ant question arises, viz if every sue
cess Is obtained in the production.
can sufficient quantity Of the fruit
be produced to replace the grape.
and ifso, what will be the relative
cost Of wine from the vine and the
orange ! Doubtless, attention once
turned in that direction, we shall be
provided with some sort of LIQUOR.
probably Of excellent quality, but we
vastly doubt whether the orange or
any other fruit can ever be complete
with the grape.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-01-29
WHOLE NO. l43S.
A Case OF q Pig.

Some one should gather the late
Mr. Lincoln's jokes and make them
into book. The following be used
to tell on Tom Hamer, of Ohio. Mr..
Hsmer's client was charged with
hog stealing. The case was clearly
proven, and when it went to the Jury
Tom was indisposed to say a word.
Don't give It up, don't give it up,
whispered the client.
But can't say nothing replied
the poor attorney
But you must. Get up and yowl
boiler, holler, man, or I'm lost, and
! won't pay you a id cent
Thus instieated, Tom rose gravely
and astonisheG the court by disser-
tation on the laws Of forcible entry
and detainer. Then, turning TO his
jury, be gave discourse on the ma
ture and habits of hogs. He called
attention to the prohibition of God
through Moses, of hog meat as an ar
ticle Of food. He told how our Saw
Tor put the devil that afflicted the
poor man into the swine. and the
swine ran down steep place and
were drowned. Bot Tom asserted.
however, that all were not drowned,
but some escaping, gradually extend
ed the breed of damned hogs-'fcr,'
said Tom, if they are possessed of
the devil they must be damned'-un-
til all the hogs OF earth had devils 10
them.
Let any man owning corn Geld
or garden patch answer, demanded
Hamer. is there fence that will
turn q damned hog, gentlemen of the
iuryf i say not one IL will find
hole if there is one; if not, it will
make one. 1t rattles down bars aud
lifts gates off their hinges. | have
known hogs climb fences; yes, gentle
men, Chamber Up and fall down. but
always fsll on the garden side. The
devil teache. them anatomy. gentle
men, for whoever heard of hog fall
ing on his snoutg He always comes
down on his rump, with a grant that
is q mingled expression CT surprise
and satisfaction. When a damned
hog-remember, gentlemen, that /
quote Scripture; am not profaDe-
when | say, damned hog gets un-
der your buggy he does not run out
of the way like sensible Christian
animal; be, on the contrary, goes tc
backing and getting under every leg
of the horse and wheel Of the buggy,
until the one is broken and the other
is thrown down. Now, gentlemen,
/ pat 1t to you: Suppose my client
did kill, under the mistaken notion
that they were his, six CT these Great
ures denounced by the Almighty and
damned by the Savior, is be to be
held up as malefsctor and punished
BY Imprisonment? Bat | deny, gen.
tlemen, that it has been proven. The
prosecuting attorney smiles. 1t is q
swinish smile, gentlemen. and makes
ue ashamed Of hin.'
Homer sat down with a round Of
applause from the bucolic bystanders,
while his client winked at the jury.
In due course Of legal forms the jury
retired, and soon returned With YER
dict OF not guilty
Well, Ill be d-ss well az the
hogs, exclaimed Hamer, If can un-
derstand it,
You can't eh p responded tie hog
thief; well, | can. Eleven of he ju-
~ had some Of the bacon
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-01-29
Iaca sf confidence.

The other day young man of four
and twenty, waiting around the forty
second depot, seemed slyiy snxious
to get into fuss with somebody.
He was well put together. seemed to
have lots Of muscle and no one
seemed anxious for trouble with hin.
BY and By an oldish man, who bad
been watching the fellow for quar-
ter OF az hour, made free 10 remark:
II ou seem determined to pick a
fuss with some one. y
That's what | want, mister,r re-
piled the y0uug man "I'm Just roast
Ing to have some one haul of on
me ~
Why do you wish to fight ?" in
quired the gentleman.
an explaiin," was the answer. Il
never had fight in nv life, aud /
don't know whether I'd run or stand
up to business. I'd kinder like to
know how I'd behave. i'll stood
right up, then I'd have confidence in
myself afterwards if l took back
scat, then I'd be mighty careful bow
| told man be hedr
He slammed around for few min
ntes and then went out for q glass Of
beer. There was big one-eyed
haekman in the saloon getting a bill
changed, and the stranger danced M
to bim and cheerfully called out 20
him;
"i'm the boy who caa take care Of
that other eye for you p
Don't fool with wild elephant"
growled the hackmaa as he eounted
his change.
"Wild elephant be blowedlI / can
saw you ia two ia three minutes
The ight opened beautifully and
closed rapidly The young man was
Knocked over table one way and
kicked over il from the other, and q
blow under the ear, as he made for
the door, helped him ten feet. He
tro.ted to the depot pale as death
and head swelling up, and as he in
quired for water and towel the gen
tleman who had conversed with him
came forward and inquired
"Did you fnd fight ?"
"Got licked all to thunder :" was
tie lonesome reply.
And how about confidence ?"
Havn't a pinch The minute be
lit me wished there was a ten acre
ield between us That settles the
luestion-I dasn't fight a boy ten
Years Old. L. telegram.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-01-29
How one Label su,: 9s.auea.

Libel suits generally turn out ad-.
versely to the plaintiG in nise cases
out OF ten be leaves the court rich in
experience, bEt poorer pecuniarily
tkaa y hen be entered il. A case Of
this sort has jost occurred IN Altoo-
IA, Pa Henry Beeht sued the
publisher Of the Republikaner for
libel. The case was decided in favor
Of the defendants, the prosecutor pay
the costs, in default Of which he was
sent to Jail for three months.