The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1879-01-14
ENTERTAINING THE PASTOR

"Heres g0!' mutered John San
script under bis breath last Saturday.
rs he poked up the FIRE IN the rarlor
grate-"here'sa 60. as sure as shootin!
The 81 woman has gone and invited
her minister to dinner, and I'm to
him when he comes, while
she dishes up the hash. May old
Nick fly away with all the preachers"
And Sanscript kicked the cat through
the doorway with such force that the
uor creature dislocated two Of its
teeth by conclusion with the
wainscotting on the opposite side of
the hall. Puss skunk away licking her
bleeding chops. and wondering
whether the house had fallen on any
body else =: while Sanscript banged the
chairs and continued bis soliloquy !:
Now. ] amt used to preachers, and
no doubt Iii make Q muss at il. Id
snoner trim the corns Of the bind fOOt
Of q mule. ar comb the name Oi Uncle
John Rubinson's bnss lion, than enter
tain a minister. What will the old
dufier want to talk ahsut. / wonder
II he sings Guy Bible conundrums At
me I'm lost. I never did take much
stock in the Bible. don't hold =
very strong hand in religious learning.
and preachers have such knack Of
setting up the deck, that they deal
themselves a full hand every time.
Woader. now, il I could stand pat.
and bluff the old snoozer ON ace high.
since / come to think Of it. I'm not 60
ignorant after all ? 1t las been long
while since went to Scndsy Sch@l.
bu, / recollect some Of the prize stories
we learned there. Let's see'-and
Sanscript sat down to think. So in.
tent was his mind rummaging around
in his brain for the dusty lore Of his
Sunday school days that he had never
noted the fact that he had sat upon
his wiie's $40 fall bonnet. which che
had carelessly left lying upon the
sofa. Lets see. now" unused John,
tapping his forehead. There VA
something about Daniel going to the
geological garden and falling into the
bear pit. or getting bit by camel
forget just exactly the nature OF Dan {,
accident. Then what was the tough
yarn about some little Jew buys who
we're thrown into the furnace Of q
rolling mill and came out without
singeing their eye brows! Oh. yes.
Wasn't it Goliah who licked 20, QUO.
900 Indians with the jaw-bone Of q
mule, and then sat down and bawIed
because there wasn't any moro left 4?
Never mind. iii give the old hoodlun'
a pretty good tussle, l reckon /; and il
don't raise him right out Of the Pot
on the first deal it'll be because / lack
gall. Itbecomes me to be agreeable
to the old dead beat anyhow. because
Mrs. Sanscript said If l made . good
impression on him she wouldn't insist
Oh q new seal-skin sacque this winter
and seaI-skin sacques don't grow on
trees. There goes the DELL, I'll bet
ten red ones ihats him.
Ssnscript smooihed his rufled hair
with few strokes Of his hands.
cleared his throai. pulled down his
vest, walked out into the hall. and
opened the door. A pale, cadaver-
ous-looking young man, with long
hair. watery ewes, high cheek homes.
large mouth. Roman nose, and clad in
q shiny black suit. bowed and smiled
1T the master OF the house most
brnignly. Under his arm he carried
q large book. which Sanecript though,
Of course was q Bible. or some large
work on theology. Grasping the
visitor BY the hand. John drew him
into the hallway with . cordial intent,
and. continuing to squeeze and shake
said:
NV dear cir. this 10 indeed q pless-
ure! We've heen expecting you.
Come right into tho parlor.'
With hevilderment written oil over
his face. the young maa tacitly fol.
lowed.
Have this chair by the Gre. Give
me your hat Mrs.. Ssnscript l. dhh.
ing up the Cruel nov. ] smell i'll
Don't your 80