The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1879-09-13
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

A stern Eeccsaity-the rudder.
Natural slippers-eels.
proved thing-a snip
A big revo!ver--the world.
The last resort-a shocmakcr's shop.
stable misunderstanding horses.
How much does ships companion way?
The OTTAWA police court Why shouldn'tthey
Origin of i've cent stoves-tin weddings.
The man fun Of character never gets too ful
Of beer
When it begins to thunder the milk knows 1t
sour has come.
Good doctors are Liable to be raped up il
their business.
The most important FISHERY question is
"Have you got bte:'
4 young LADY who is unable to "fasten' one
should never attempt to iasteneight
An exchange believes jumping the rope TO bC
tripping the light, fantastic tow. Hempossbe
Massachusetts, tramp, when caught stealing
watermelons, said he was in favor of grcenbacks
The spider ought to be a good base ball player;
he certainly is an expert ily-catcher.
The musician who tried to flute his wife's col
lars is now engaged in smoking bagppe.
There is one consolation in the coming visit of
Sarah Barnhardt; She can't be advertised as "a
great moral show"
There is great difference in mk.mads The
milk made in the city.
Many men resemble the clam, for you can see
all there is in them "henthcy open their mouths
1t Is 4 melancholy but significant fact that
since Grant passed that way King Thebaw Of
Burmah has not drawn a sober breath.
A physician has discovered yellow fever germs
in ice. The safest way is to boil your ice before
using it. This kills the gcrms,-Norris'omn Her-
dd.
An exchange says: The reason why Jesus
was born in stable was, his mother was a Jew,
and the Corbins and IIltons Of Jerusalem would
not allow her to stay in the hotel.
Capt. William Parker, late of the Mendoza
Bulletin Office is about to start paper at Dixon.
Success, old fellow-hey, the gallant captain
that you are.
The state Agricultural Board expect to make
up for banishHg horse races from the state fair by
securing the presence of President Hayes and his
cabinet.
The sultan Of Turkey has joined the ant-treat-
ing movement He grants Tcwik viceroy Of
Egypt, all the powers Of his paternal predecessor,
the khedvc, except that Of treating
reporter asked Mr.. Blaine what he thought
OF Grants chances for the nomination., and
Blaine replied that the watermelons this wear
were the finest he had ever seen. Ven York
STIR.
Special attention is called to the fourth plank
Of the New York Republican platform. 1t takes
strong ground. against the shotgun policy, and
il supposed to be Senator Conkling's own pro-
ducton
There seems to be u railroad from Amboy to-
Deer Park. At least the Mendoza bulletin says
an excursion train from Amboy to Deer Park
passed that city on Wednesday.
1t is proposed TO have n mock session of the
Illinois legislature during the state fair. Let the
members act exactly as il in regular session. No
extra effort can mokc them more ridiculous
A Washington letter writer says: "There is
not one member Of the cabinet to-day who could
be approached by 4 thief Cassanaves case
shows that the remark can have no reference to
the Louisiana returning board thieves.
John Henry and his adored were passing q
fashionable restaurant on Washington street, Chi.
cago, about ten o'clock at night when he Incl.
dentally asked "Do you like to ride horses ~
"Oh," replied she, with great animation 81 Just
dofe on fried oysters" He gave her one sad look
and handed her gently into passing street car
No good ever comes of desecrating the Sab.