The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-11-27

ton he called at Farmer Smythe's,
where he procured dinner and an invi-
tation to remain until the following
morning and rest himself. His father
and Farmer Smythe once went to school
together; Jeremy now profited by it.
But we hardly think he would have
tarried, SO anxious was he to get to the
city, only that Farmer Smythe had
three very pretty girls. Heptalina, the
oldest, was Is, just year younger than
himself, and SO fast did their acquaint-
ance progress that he became the owner
Of card bearing her name and address
before they parted Jeremy slowed it
away in his left vest pocket, feeling
that the donor was, to say the least, an
angel, and that he somehow or other
had taken leap into paradise.
The remainder of his journey was
passed in a kind Of delightful trance,
from which he did not thoroughly
awake until he found himself in view
of the city. Then his heart gave a
great throb, for was he not soon to
know his destiny? He never had been
to the city before, and the sights were
so new and startling that he was in
tremor Of excitement by the time he
reached the locality indicated in the
advertisement. He found the avenue
a dirty one, No. s dilapidated concern,
and the woman at the door of very hag-
gish appearance; but he summoned
courage to inquire if man was living
there who employed agents. She re-
piled that there was, and showed him
into small, shabbily furnished apart
ment, where an oily-tongued old fellow
informed him that the article to be
canvassed for was grease extractor of
the greatest merit; he considered it the
most marvellous discovery of the age,
and the rapidity of it's sale was I'M
precedented; agents were making fort
unes; the article was put up in So cent
bottles; he would be pleased to furnish
Jeremy with few dozen, appoint terri
tory, etc. He charged agents half price,
SO their profits were enormous.
Jeremy told the old gentleman he
would take but dozen bottles, as he
had not the means for larger invest
ment. The territory he would decide
upon before he left. The old gentle
man limited to Jeremy that it might be
as we'll for him to begin to canvass in
some small country place, as he was,
well, little verdant. Jeremy's tenn
per rose slightly, but he made no reply,
for who wants to be told he is ''green,"
even If he knows he is?
After limiting this, the old gentleman
left the room to get the bottles in
readiness for Jeremy. He had no
sooner gone than girl Of - or Is
entered the room by another door.
Coming close to Jeremy, she whispered,
"Are you going to be an agent for the
grease extractor?' Jeremy replied
that he was intending to be. Well,
now; if you will never tell the old
man nor woman, I'll tell you where
you can look through keyhole and
see him prepare it," she said, adding
that she knew he would not think it
wrong when he knew the cheat there
was about it.
She then directed him to the door
where he could see the article pre-
pared. In the fire. place, the professor,
as the girl sneeringly called him, took
a bar of common bar soap, immersed it
in pail Of water, shook the pail, and
then filed, corked and sealed the bottle.
That soap," said the girl, she buys
in quantities of soap maker in the
country. It is good soap for washing
clothes: but will no more remove grease
spots than any other common soap. An
agent never goes with it but once. But
by advertising he makes fools of good
many, and considerable money out
of it." ....s
"Do you tell everybody that comes
the same you have me?" asked Jeremy.
No, don't often get chance" she
replied: ''you see, the old woman just
went out, or should not have got in
here. l mean to get away from them
pretty soon, as soon as can get another
place. They both drink and abuse me
shamefully"
Jeremy did not stop to hear more,
but took his hat and ran into the street.
went at such pace until be was out
of sight of the house that policeman
on the corner had great notion of
arresting him on suspicion of some
crime.
He never heard what the professor of
the grease-extr ctor thought of his con-
duct, Dear, good Jeremy; he felt he
was too honest fellow to peddle soap
suds at 50 cents half-pint bottle, even
if his dreams of wealth were all dis
PEELED in moment. He, of course, felt
pang of disappointment, and resolved
to return home again, after making
tour of the city. So he wandered up
and down the streets, looking into shop
windows and up at the gold-lettered
signs and placards, till shutdown. Then
he entered bakery, invested 4 cents
in biscuits, which he speedily devoured,
and inquired for place where he would
be apt to get nights lodging. A snap
pish woman behind the counter advised
him to go to the Montrose House, across
the way. Proceeding thither, he stalked
into the doorway, as he imagined mill
MOULD