South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1879-11-21
WIT ~ ND HUI NOR

=.---.--
A jury in North Carolina, after being
charged in the usual way BY the Judge,
retired 10 their room, when a white ia.
Tor veutured TO ask a colored ASSOCIATE,
if he understood tho charge OF tue
judge.
'Gollyr exclaimed the astonished
juror, he don't charge us muffin for dat,
does he? Why 1 thought we was gwine
TO git pay
Il should have no objection TO my
"lfe's reigniug,' said an afrectionate
husband, If it were not for the fact that
when she reigns she is apt to storm
ALSO
A laxative barber about to;cu, a gen.
tleman's hair, asked him how he would
have it done.
If possible in silence said the oen.
tleman.
firm dealing largely in coal had in
their service an Irishman named Bar
ney. One day the head OF the firm. ir-
ritated beyond endurance at one of
Barney's blun3ers, told him to 90 to
the office and get his pay, and added ::
"You are so thick-headed can't teach
You anything. 'Begorra,' said Bar
ney, L larn wan thing since Eve been
wild ye! What is that 2 asked the
employer. That sixteen bundled
makes tom
a Dragging nobleman once said at
table that he had shot buck through
the hind hoof and the ear with one bu,
let. and called on his ready.wit,cd sery-
ing man for confederation. The serv-
ant scratching his head, replied that the
buck was scratching his ear at the crit
icai moment, and added in an under
tone to his master: For mercy sake.
my lud, next time don't make it so hard
TO make both ends meet
One OF the returned warriors from
l..
witness to the following incident: A
clergyman, in clerical attire was hard al
work handing ont cartridges TO the
men, and lie did il with a good will -
a private near was taking shots at the
Lulus and cursing the while in tic
most ingenious manner. Don't swear.
man ! shouted the clergyman; dent
swear at them shoot themr
The BARRIERS razor took hold of his
beard with q vengeance when he looked
up and said. apologetcally, Ny dear
sir, l came in to get shaved, not to get
tooth pulled
man has opened cafeiust oppo-
site n cemetery'in Paris. lie dedicates
his house to those coming from funcr-
ais and announces on his private SIGN
Private rooms for all who wish to
weep by themselves. Wine and liquor
of the very best
n FALLEN ANGEL.-rhe other day an
old gentleman advanced the PROPOSE
tion that never in the course Of his long
life had he ever seen n woman who was
not charming. Oh. really, now said a
Lady whose nose was the purest Ukraine
breed, don't you think I'm ugly ?
Not at all replied the gallant gentle
man; you are an angel fresh fallen
from heaven, only you fell on Your
nosor
Why is a grocer who gives short mea.
sure, like an ambuscade? because he
lies in weight.
The meancst girl in the universe lives
in Philadelphia, Pa, she said, Il 90
wish you would lend ne your lovely red
nose to paint my checks with
CosT OF TIE Know How.'-There
was much gUmption, according to liar,
per's -h'g5a 6.e, eyinced by shat particu.
lar darkey whose master was a sur.
geon, who had performed on another
dn'key an operation requiring a high
degree Of skill. This latter darkcy was
weIl.to-do, and the surgeon charged him
twenty-five dollars for the operation
Meeting the doctors scryan, af.erward.
occurred this dialogue:
Dat was a mighty ,eep charge Of the
doctors or cutting on ne tuddcr day.
How much did dc boss charger
Well, julius, he charged me twenty.
five dollars
Go long, niggah, dat amt much
charge.
Well, he wasn't more dan three or
four minutes doin' it, and / think five
dollars was all he oughter took.
Look-a-heah, Sam you don't un'stan'
bout dat ting.BYou sec, dc boss have 70