The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1879-07-26
TEHIS AND THEAT.

The first watering place hops of the sea-
son are managed by frogs.
England may be "mistress of the C's,"
but she has never been able to fairly master
the u's.
elf am stuck up, am not proud" as
the butterfly said when pinned to the side of
the show case.
The latest burlesque announced is en-
titled "Pretty Chicago Girls" What an alb
surdity it must be!
The funeral notice ola western murder
err read " Suddenly, on the - inst, of
dropsee."
The national game at Washington from
March to July, 1879: Hayes, 81 Congress, o..
1t is one of the curious things of the
world that male hardrcsser often dyes an
old maid.
"A woman with two heads hasjust arriv-
sd from Europe. Eight bonnets year
only think of it!
"A military man, pitching into an OPP
ponent, exclaimed; "Why, his sword was
meyer drawn but once, and that was in Il
rattle.
From all accounts Sarah Bernhardt
couldn't be much thinner ifshe were piece
OF Louisiana testimony.
-"Whoso fndeth vile 6udeth a good
, thing" says Solomon. Ifall accounts may
be believed, he practised what he preached.
The gentlemen and ladies of Auburn
Prison celebrated. The proceedings opened
with the patriotic air, ,"Sweet land of liberty"
A French newspaper, the other day had
the following heading in its police intelli-
gence Suicide of two persons; statement
of the one that survived"
A young lady graduate may, in after
years, forget the title OF her essay, but she
will always remember how her white 'pekay,
dress was made and trimmed.
The weather is not only untrustworthy
but unprincpled. The other Sunday it
rained all day on a camp-meetng and shone
all day Monday on a circus.
Joaquin Miller says that men who love
the beautiful are never bad. This will be
consolation to the man who runs away with
his neighbor's wife.
A druggist, recollecting the Latin COM
Piment TO the product of the vineyard, In
emo peqtos, has put up this inscription to
the credit of his soda fountain: III soda san
itas.
1t was an Albany schoolboy who, be-
lieving in translation as free as the geniu:
ofonr country, translated dur femna .tacti
the fact is woman is duck.
-"How is it, miss, you gave your age t.
the census-taker as only twenty-five, when
you were born the same year l was, and
am thirty-nine?" "Ah, you have live,
much faster than I, sir"
Texas has a man who for fifty years ha
t paid his newspaper subscription in advance
Now mark! This man has never been kill
/ ed Notwithstanding his continual state G
r danger.
D "A man asked Mr.. Pitt for certai
I place. 81 should have thought" said tn
g minister, "that a sinecure would have suite
, you better. .""True," answered the applicant
- "But ifyou give me the place I will max
+ Il q sinecure"
e There is an old lady, lO7, in Bostor
n who never used spectaces, and whose sigh
j. is as good as ever it was. [P. S. The Bosto
/ Post, which records this remarkable fac
S adds that the old lady was born blnd.l
Il -Extract from French feuilleton 9Th
blow was too much foi the poor count, whor
e e so many emotions had broken down he fe
n with his face upon the earth some instant
r after Domingo had finished his recita
e When he arose he had ceased to live"
n The difference between boy and bar
Il is that shingles are applied to the roof Of II
harm