Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-11-07
FUN


Il want t'co m braces" as the printer
said to his female compositor.
When the Irishman first tried peaches,
he said he liked their flavor but the
seeds lay hard on his stomach.
Why are potatoes and corn like GER
tain sinners OF Old? Because having
eyes they see not, and having ears they
hear not.
An editor out west calls on maidens
! to take courage; because the census
shows that there are half million
more men than women in the United
States.
1t is unhealthy to fall in love with an
other mans wife. In Arkansas this
kind of thing usually terminates in
death " the first year.
If you undertake to spell the word
pupils" backwards you may slip up
on it Try it and see.
1t is evident that the earth is FEM
mime from the persistence with which
she refuses to tell her age.
Some of our subscribers are trying to
kill us with Understandable kind
ness.-IurnerS Falls Reporter.
One of the great mysteries OF nature
is the hole in the heel of stocking.
How it gets there no one knows; the
need Of it no one sees; the philosophy
of it no one can explain; the logic is:
Darn it."
Il say, John, where did YOU get that
loafer's hat?"
please yer Honor" said John, ''it's
an old one of yours that Missis gave
me yesterday when you Were gone to
town"
A Quaker having sold ne-looking,
but bind horse, asked the purchaser:
"Well, my friend, dost thou see any
fault in him p "None whatever" was
the reply" "Nelther will he ever see
any in thee, said honest Broadbrim.
A young lady once limited to q gen.
tleman that her thimble was worn out,
and asked what reward she meried for
her industry. He sent her an answer
IN the shape of thimble, ON which the
following lines were engraved
II send thimble for fingers nimblc,
which hope Will lit when OIL try It;
II will last you long II ITS half Ms strong
AS the hint You gave me to buy It,"
"The sentence of the court is" said Il
popular Irish magistrate named Porter,
to q notorious drunkard, "tnat you be
confined in Jail for the longest period
the law allows, and | hope you will
spend your time in cursing whiskey."
Il will, sir, and Porter, too"
A quaint writer SAYS Il have seen
women SO delicate that they dared not
ride horse for fear of the horse run.
ming away; afraid to sail. for fear the
boa. might upset; afraid 10 walk, for
fear they might fall; but | have never
seen one afraid to be married, which is
far more riskful than all the others put
together"
Twas Sunday morn, and ke,. Jones
Was breaGfa-ting with Gray,
sand Jones: "Anolher III of rtea&.
As have 10 preach today
Guess III brace mp little too, ="
said Gray, his eyes a-gisten,
And he helped hlmselt to hunk Of meat
"FCr you know nave to listen.
-CiHcihnaH Gdsette.
A gentleman sent his Irish servant
up to his room to get a pair Of boots,
ana at the same time told him TO be
sure and get mates; rs there We're two
pairs in the closet, Pat returned with
two boots, but odd ones. Why don't
you see that these are not alike-one
is long top and the other a short one?
said the gentleman out Of patience with
the fellow. "Bedad your honor" said
Pat in an apology, "and 1t is true for We
but then the other pair is just SO tool