, 1879-02-07

AhAH"OS A9N 4ll7 AONANCE
AGENT.
1anmors Ertry Saturday.
Artcrnus Wusd was tectur1ng, with bis pano
rama Of Salt Lake, In Canadx, and a. business
was good he was ia corresponding high spirits,
nntl his toekcts were full 0f cnfn.
The ,'ay before they were to leave, Smith, his
advance agcnt, told Ward that as silks were ~
much cheaper in the British Posscss sions than In
t'lc United States he Ind purchased targe piece
of silk, and was going 10 take II to hts wic Is
present. Ward was pleased With tic idea, md
In the same confidence told Smith that he had
also pt,rchascd piece OF melton cloth, and
10th conferred With eacI. other - to i,p best
way 10 secrcte The goods a. to pass the Custom
House.
Ward suggested to amith TO wrap the silk
around his body, and Smith 10 turn advised
Artcmus 10 place his cloth within the folds of
IFS panorama Of Salt Lake. They each agreed
to take cnch othcr'a advice, and Smith left the
next morning to 70 over to thc htatcs In ad.
vance. 'l'he hun'lie of silk wound around hln
made lIm1cc quite uncomfortable. especially
incnresl ,n,erroaa,tnR about his baggage.
The official whs verv polite xlld passed his
baggage without mt1rmur, and tlnn Invited
him Into lis private Office, bundled him cigar,
ant begged bin, to take a scat.
The heat OF the room began to make Smith
very uncomfortable. mud 10 rose to 70.
10 IDs ,x. sents1 NTH 81. s x siS 1a !1S 9e' It" want
John. ~ c.n't stand sitting 50 long, and then
I've great deal to attend TO-"
"fou seem to be very stontish kind Of
.Ycs, )" said Smith, hls faeo getting rcd md
the warmth from The aIIk increasing, tim
pretty eoltd, but emit stand hot room"
troubIes Auything the matter with your chcs.
Ur 1uneBi''
"Onlv slteh. oppression" !" replied Smith.
"0npressiun about The funRs!'' exclaimed
the officer, rising nnd advancing towards the
suiroraiiuE aren't "Let me make an cxatnina-
ton for you. s!r: \ may be, dangerous. Please
"l,,s nothing; IL will soon pass away" re-
"siy dear friend, you should not allow your
self to suffer moment" said the officer, "nnd
can n'f. re,Ieyo lew you t Of ali your sroubc." @
Tile Inspector insisted, and the discomfted
agent, after valuly trying 10 escape from his so
licisnston, anally acknowledged the coru, and coa
| SOU
The officer laughed heartily, aud said: "I
| knew II all the wte. fiorc's letter recctved
TIL: NJ no,t!rg" g. Ana l,o banded ts Smith Letter
q dmugg!er would endeavor to pass quantity
Of silk, describing Smiths appearance, aud
claiming one-hali Of the reward for the tnfornl-
sth Va H. # bSt d.
10 he told the officer shout Ward having the
roll OF cloth conccated In his psnoFamn.
The INSPECTOR appreciated the Joke and let
Smith 70 with small penalty.
lilo uext morning Artcmus Ward arrived at
| thu Cuslum-llousa with his panorama. when
the inspector commenced tntcrfogating him.
md insiatcd upon bis letting him have glimpse
OF hls beautiful pictures.
Ward tried every excuse. but the on|eiat was
importunate, aIlh finally he was compelled to
have hla man unwind ono section Of the pano.
rama before tho Inspector.
until suddenly tho cloth cAino to light, aud ~
It slowly unwound IN front Of tho pictures Ward
struck an attitude IKE bis periormanee upon
"Th!s view Is sli9htlY ineumnered with twenty
yards Of melton c!osh. Tint Smith told vou ali
about It. What's the damaged"
The Inspector soon aottled tho question Of
charges, uhd for once ATtemu8 found himself
caught by his OWN Joke.
JOHN TsIItENIN AND JEFF DAVIS.
.Sgto 3ark Correspondence indt1na aoo'ta JturadI.
When Frank Pierre was President. Icn Davis,
then sccrctary Of War, issued general inrita-
iion to officers Of the army who wnre skillful
draughtsmcn to send In suggestions for tho now
uniform which It had beon decided to adopt.
Ono such invitation WAS sent to each officer.
Lieut.. Derby ['John Phenlx " was very ready
ply te sent to tic War Department design for
Il new un!fosm,-or rather a peculiar addition 10
the old uniform,-the amendment consisting
merely OF 4 ring attached 10 the seat Of the
trousers OF exeh private soldier. Each officer
wus to curry, Instead Of 4 sword, long pole,
with hook In the end, like q shepherds
crook. Tile pole and the ring enabled officers
to keep pflvatea from running away In battle.
Fugittycs could caAily bo saught BY it snd
brought back. siraeRlcrs could 10 kept in line.
Moreover, tllu ring would be very useful 10 tic
cavalry service to taate1 soldiers to tho saddle
to prevent then. from falling oil; hnd in tbs ar
tlllcry service The rings .Nsre to be uscd for
draught purposes In the ahsence OF mules:
:Ihess spselheatlons alI. were accompanied q me
hauling buck cowartly recruits BY the servfce-
able ring. cavalry teeutelv fastened 10 the top
OF tileis steeds BY the same lsvlcu, znA arttl.
| lesYmen haFntsscu to cannon, dFawtuE them
through uarrow de6fes Or up nu accliTity tnsc-
cSsstblo to mulcs, BY cables attached 10 tho pos.
terlor staples.
| On another sheet OF bristot.hoard WAS .n H.
luttrat,on IN gaudY co'ors u ''Detby's Rotary
Mule llowitzcF,n - ACCOMPANIED BY the following
description; s'Upou this bark Of : young and
yfallaDt mula, strap mountain ho"!tzct, tho
p.ss 81 oldoses s1s i ssseasd Viii iron hani.
uuder tie animals abdomen, tho muxxlo aimed
between his io1e.legs TO tho 'front.' There arc
tour gunuers-two 10 each peca--and 'por.
| tu44EEt u uD - @A4tAt "AUep DuSAAe9A ~ - ~
persuade the nulc TO stand tsm aud not retreat,
hy stuttinR him with oats after each discharge,
with / tin sausAxe-atufYer. When ludiaus, Or
otilcr Legitimate KaMe appcas In ytew. the lnu1s
IL, by cfsnk movement on the tail, l!mbeFed
to tho front. 1t lon't make auy d!tfc1suce
which WY tho muln 1sees t4nd here
!: The.s ny patent a., so%s' H., tnl t,sa, ono xae
tho command 'Firsl' the top howllzes Is dis
charged. The recoil throws the n.slo on his
back, bringing the second gun into posttlon.
Tht4 u discharged, which suddenly throws tic
mulo to hts feet aEstu, when tho Ruunera swsb
out ths mulu'a throAt With hay aud Fclosd: /" The
accom- psDylpx Illustrations tu brown, red, blue,
und got, and still on Ills In tbs War Depart
mcnt} represented tho rotary IDuto Ia seven
different Attttudts. looking coutanled and happy
| al the tI1IIc.
Th!s was felt 10 b outrageous Audaci&y on
the part VI = subaltern. The clerks In the War
Department laughed ut The funny letter I'M.
fuodrsately, but tilels supeftou luoked serious.
Jefferson Davis. the he41 ol tic Department,
| Haa tcfrlhIY indignant, md ha IeaolYsd Il!