Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1879-11-28

AADS<S~s S>>AAs>s
Don't go much with your cousin, Sweet Briar;
He's very nice, but inclined to be wild"
e'k4 A.E.B. i
as r u N .
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WANTED TO SEE sDER AUDITOR" -He
entered the journal Office with a smell of
buckwheat cakes on his garments and
blood in his eyes. He had on an overcoat,
a plush cap and a frown darker than
thunder cloud folded three thick. He look
ed at the foreman who was just sitting
down to give man credit for seventeen
cents on subscription, and sternly inquir-
ed: 3s' 4sc4 fa U
"Vhere ish der aiditor?'
s'He has just stepped out moment ago."
''Shtepped oud. eh? When viii he shtep
in?''
Expect him back very soon. Anything
can do for you?''
ssMaype he knows I. vas gooming, und
dots Wy he shtepped oud?'' a..
well. couldn't say as to tEat.'
''Goodn't eh? Veil Wait leedle und
he goomes back, eh?n
81 think he will be in, sir, in very few
moments
ST half a leedle pishness NIT him. What
vas he peen zayin' bout me in dot Shern-
alp"
ssAbout you? Idon't know SIR" M
.sVall, py shimminy, he says vas got
drunk und raised some hale Won fay, und
ssshoosts see boud dot?"
'.'Think you must be mistaken. sir, t.
s'Dinks vos, eh? Maybe I got some
friends vot tole me boud dot! I find oud
all bout dotl / end oud all boud id. py
shiminyl 1 find it all oud poorly qvickl
He zay vos drunk und make some drou-
bles, und when he gooms pack shust see
boud dot. I plack his eye, Ply shiminy,
/und gick him und knog his prains oud,
maybe for dot. Shust let him COON back
ind show him all boud i'd
''Somebody has been putting up job on
you, I fear" observed the foreman.
II dond got any foolishness NIT you. l
Wait till he gooms pack und I got some
satisfaction. I gick him right away down
shtairs so gwick der leedle guss won't find
oud vat vas allied him. I bald you."
'But my friend, guess you don't know
him. He is twice as big as you are; weighs
MO pounds and got lois of muscle.''
"Vas he phery large?"
swell. about the size of old Adkins down
here on the street." ss
"Ish dot 20? Adgins is stoud man."
I "Yes, either of them can pick up bar
rel of salt and throw it across the street
without grunt.' f''''s
''Ish dot 70, py shiminy?" {fts ffsr
eyes. There comes the editor now
cried the foreman, pointing at Capt. Will
son Ia 24O pound many who was just COM
ing down the street.
"Det vas der aiditor? Veil, eff he didn"
zay nottings boud me dot vas all right
"Let's see, your name is-?"
"Yaw dot ish my name."
ene-Passenger depot. Characters
Atlanta negro and country darkey. Col
loquy opened by the Atlanta negro: e
s.Whar you gwine buddy?'' n i.
1sDuz you own dis shed?" ai =" = a'f'
NO.; ...-.s,...s,-, ta..i ia @s-- l
s.Ner none or deze kyars?"
ssNo."i dslia aE aat
s.Ner zone deze yer railroads."
"No." gr,ses. a. ,.f.,.,-..f f.sf ~. g5a
"Ner no tavern?" % Pip
"No." - f''''@ - ''s' e.
ssWell, den, yer don't want ter cum
bud1yin' me, and yer don't want no in
fermashun. Dekinder infermashun rat
you'd git out'n med be mighty APP fer to
sour on you. - s'... Is sl.i 7 er.3j.
s.To the one love my kiss is ever free,"
is q poem, by Maude. Now, Maudie,
don't You think you're too fresh2 If there
was the least bit Of enthusiasm in your
makeup, you would coax him to church
sociable, and get ten cents apiece for
them. ''- - n. ~ ~
A man was sitting for photograph.
The operator said, t'Now, sir, look kind
o. pleasant. Smile a little. !" The man
smiled, and then the operator exclaimed
4.Oh, that viii never do. It is too wide
for the instrument" 4.a
A little boy, whose sisters stroll in the
woods for the bright hued leaves Of Au-
turnn. saw them coming home the other
day with = administered gentleman:
whom he greeted with the remark: "My !!
you got Autumn leave whiskers, amt
yoa?'
Tongue cannot tell the words or express
the establishment of the crippled soldier in
Connecticut who awoke to find his wife
was using his wooden leg to pound the
beefsteak for breakfast.
sDo eagles give milk, mother 2" asked
the boy. IitsNo, my son; what, made you
think sop'' ssBecsuse I've heard of the
eaele-screani. y The mother reached for
her slipper but the precious had vanished.
Isn't that your friend, Nine. s., who
is dancing Itherea" Eyes" "That
frightfully ill-made dress she has on.'
-'Yes; hut if it wasn't it wouldn't fit her"
PROF. Tice," says an exchange, ''pre-
diets that the hctte-t spell by far is yet to
cone.~ That is what our preacher says,
too.