Litchfield enquirer., 1879-07-24

For he himself hath said it.
 And it ain't much to his credit,
 That he is a Reportaire.
 He might have been a preacher,
 A doctor, or a teacher, ts5.E,
 Or smart law-yi-e-ar
 But in spite of all temptations.
 Y indulge in such recreations,
 He remains d Iseportaire. Geologists can tell the age of buzz saw by looking at the teeth.
 The first watering place hops of the season are managed by frogs.
 It is good to dwell in amity, though it is amity hard thing to do with some people.
 England may be ' mistress of the C's," but she has never yet been.ablc to fairly master the H's.
 '1f I am stuck up, am not proud" as the butterfly said when pinned to the side of the showcase.
 fErrF a68 ~.fp,} Il
 A women with two heads has just arrived from Europe. Eight bonnets year !-only think of it.
 The ministers skip to the country while Sa- ten quietly opens the family closet and lets out the skeleton
 A military man, pitching into an opponent, exclaimed: "Why, his sword was never drawn but once, and that was in a raffle.'
 Talmage, who is travelling in Europe, will have to shut his mouthin order to getit through the Mont Cenis tunnel p
 The Sun has an article on Eternal Punish ment in Scotland 's The mystery as to the locality of hell is now cleared upt says Solomon. If all accounts may be believ- ed he practised what he preached. tas ! The gentlemen and ladies of the Auburn Prison celebrated The proceedings opened with the patriotic air, Sweet land of liber- ty." ~
 It doesn't take much of a philosopher to tell why the advertising leaves of a magazine are always cut, while the other leaves arenot.
 The weather is not only untrustworthy but unprincipled. The other Sunday it rained all day on camp-meeting, and shone all day Men- day on a circus.
 young lady graduate may, in after years, forget the title of her essay, but she will al- ways remember how her white spekay" dress was made and trimmed.
 It seems remarkable that nice easy chair at home is so much less comfortable to man, | than the hard side of dry goods box on a street corner with crowd of sloafers around. A man approached Hon. Thomas A. Hen- dricks the other day, and said something about second place." Friends jumpedin and caught MT. Hendricks before he could draw his pistol; and the man was saved.
 The ambitious city young man is now sav- | ing up money enough to enable him to spend fifteen or twenty minutes in some fashionable watering place.
 A druggist, recollecting the Latin compli- ment to the product of the vineyard, In uino UeTtGs, has pu: up this inscription to the credit of his soda fountain: In soda sanitas. The Guffaw House is a hotel in Nebraska, l and the Chicago Tribune considers it a laugh able name. Possibly guest might Guffaw- ther and fare worse. - l How is It, miss, you gave your age to the census-tak as only twenty five, when you were born the same year I was, and am thirty-nine?" ?" "Ah, you have lived much faster than I, sir" 2.
 The negro exodus is proving blessing to those darkies who remained at home Their watermelon dividend is larger than it other wise would have been.
 Half way up the hill Grandpapa: "By George, I must stop and blow a bit, Tommy "All right, grandpapa. I've got a stone l to put under your heel"
 There is an old lady, 107, in Boston, who nev- CT uses spectacles and whose sight is as good as ever it was P s. The Boston Post, 1 which records this remarkable fact, adds that l the old lady was born blind.