The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-04-12
NBEAMS.

bubA.-Ns 4l6 utA.
Cain was q man Of mark. Pittsburgh
7elegrcph
Conumdrum for che rich-Shail the
poor be cold or coaled
Artist. Trusting the sculptor. .-Bos-
ton Bulletin.
A dentist ought to make good actor
lie draws we'll
Court plaster on the face and hole In
the stocking often travel together.
It must be eminently right and good to
rise early, because it is SO inhumanly hard
TO do it.
It ia fair to presume that there would be
fewer family jars if people INDUCED less in
pickles.
A Bridgeport artist has painted very
natural fenoe, but the critics will picket
all to opieces.
The red man may "scorn your prohered
treaty" but leave of the last syllable and
try him.
From age to age cheese has skippered
on, one of the mitiest forces Of the press,
winning its whey.
When printers grow old their marble
brows are marked with display head ines.
-New 0rleans Pieuyune.
One Western editor calls another "a Le-
viathan ASS" Brother, it amt right to
critter-siz q man thus Whitehall Times.
He that hath no music in his soul is ft
for usher, undertaken, table waiter, or
some such thing.
And now a lawyer is arrested for perjury
Where is this prosecution of good men to
stop.-G,Gphic.
Tho 5000 wives Of the King of Siam
live under one roof, though it must be con-
fessed that they occasionally raise it.
man ia going to have his name stamped
upon $4,000, 900 toothpicks. That mans
name will be in everybody's mouth.
'sHow dear to my heart are the seines Of
| my childhood" mutters the Lazy fisher
man as he mended the old nets.
A young lady on being asked where her
native place was, replied, II have none;
am the daughter Of Methodist minis
| ter"
| s'Never put off till tomorrow" the collar
you can wear to-day is q maxim which, if
followed will lead to small laundry bills
Boston GLVbs.
"What do you want to shoot quail on
the ground for?" howls sporting journal
On the ground that we can't hit 'em any
where else.
'"rhe Sioux are not contagious" said an
old frontierman. "What do you mean ?''
asked a bystander. Il mean that they
are hard to catch, " was the reply.
'"This business is being carried too far, "
shouts the end-ma minstrel in his search
around the stage: ''hers some ones stolen
my bones !"-Chisngo Journal.
When you want to get the best of an ar.
gument with woman of thirty you should
lead off with: Now, then, woman of YOU
age -" etc.
pants for $5an said a seedy looking
man. reading the sign in the window of q
clothing store he was passing; so do l:
never painted 30 for $5 in all my Gfe."
An army surgeon says he never saw but
one man who hadn't rather 60 into battle
than to have q tooth drawn. and that mar
was coward
/ The man who was "bent on matrimony'
Strengthened up afterwards. -Iieridea Re
eordw. And was probably fooled to the
top Of his bent ~. Y. Eosning Mail.
I Love may be blind, as they say, but i,
can be noticed that in all the records of the
ages it has never kissed the girls mother
by mistake when it reached after the girl
/ A lady writes asking for poetical namt
, for a picturesque, tumble-down, antique
looking farm" Call it Lalla Rookhery
You couldn't get Moore antique or 70
mantle name than that.
One Of the most delicate bits Of humol
in the Bible is Hosea's description o,
Ephraim as "a cake not turned" TIL,
prophet didn't want to hurt Ephraim's feel
ings by calling him ''haf- baked
| Ii mas Deeu OInclhuy uecluou, TelaulVe X
recent fire, that smoke is injurious to to
bacco, 30 that the insurance companies hav,
to pay damage. We always knew it ruined
cigar to be smoked.
When Mrs Fitz-Jones de Herbert asked
her spouse the other morning if he wouldn'
purchase that dear little pair of majolicl
ornaments, dirt cheap at fifty dollars
the brute was heard to mutter, "Go to pot
terry"
A man spent three weeks in an unsuc
cessful effort to teach his parrot a verse O
Scripture. The same bird, in the succeed
ing four weeks, learned to swear fright
fully without teacher. Parrots and boy
boys are nearly alike in this respect
: A lady asked the judge what sh
would say in court if she were asked he
age. The blunt juriSt replied, ''Say
madam, what believe to be the truth, tina
you are not yet come to the years of dis
. cretion."