Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-12-17
I'm Going to Toledo"

Half an hour before the morning Detroi
train over the Canada Southern Road was t
leave for Toledo pompous, fat man. witt
several parcels in his arms, entered the de
pot with great rush and made bee-lin
for Grand Trunk train. When halted q
the gate and asked what train he wanted t,
take, he replied:
I'm going TO Toledo, and if YOU max,
me miss the train I'll sue you for damages.
':But this isn't the train for Toledo
why isn't it, sir; why in the old Harry
isn't this train for Toledo?" loudly demand
ed the fat man.
Because the train for Toledo stand.
over on the track there
Then why didn't you tell me so in thC
first place? I'm a good mind to report
yeu to your superiors, sir"
ou llhndthe superintendent up stairs, y
humbly replied the gate-keeper
''And III lodge complaint against you
yes, l will Travellers have rights, and
those rights must be maintained!'
The fat man rushed half way up stairs
and the whistle of a yard engine made him
halt and turn and rush down again. Reach
ing the gates of the Canada Southern train,
he called out:
1T Is your business to give warning at
least three minutes before the train leaveslr y
"And I'm going to do it, replied the
gate-keeper. cit is over twenty minutes
yet before train time. Please show your
ticket
''Show my ticket. Do YOU suppose 4
man IN my position means to steal a ride
on the hind trucksl r.
The rule is for all passengers to show
their tickets
81 don't believe it, and | want your
name, I'll go up to the Superintendent
and see if travellers have any rights IN this
depot. Your name, sir:
MY name is Bumps. sir, and I'm poor
widower with seven children to support"
Il don't care a cent if you've got seven
teen children to support. III bump Bumps
III he II never dare sass another traveller -
The fat man rushed up stairs again, and
was heard galloping the numerous halls and
passages and calling for the Superintendent.
The janitOrs passed him along until he came
down the outside stars on the public
streets.
''Have hack, sir!'' yelled about forty
uIlHtis IN chorus.
mo, sir-no, SIR" he screamed in reply.
''Have awagon;" "howledtwenty express
men in his ears.
Never, Never. l want to get into the
depot! If / miss that train Ill sue the
whole city"
He was shown the public entrance. and
he made rush for a Flint & Pere Mar
queite train just making up.
THAT isn't the train for Toledo ~ called
several voices, and he hurried over towhOre
Bumps was standing and said;
IN fix YOU for tins, sir. Let ME through
tiiE .gate..''
Ticket please
''les, lE shcw YOU my ticket, and as
soon as | reach Toleu, TIL make an afIida-
Wit of this affair and send IT hael- 70. the
~
lie passed through and entered q coach.
\ woman was saying she feared her trunk
had not come down on the baggage wagon,
and he dumped his parcels into seat and
said:
Il hope it hasn't, 1t will serve you Just /
right TO miss it. 4 person who hasn't !
got spunk enough to stand right up to these
railroad folks and let them know what's /
what ought to lose her trunk, They tried I
10 bluff me around just now, and when
they found they couldn't do it they couldn't
be too humble and obliging. Go out and
blast them, riadam-5last their eyes till
they can't rest -