The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-08-28


sOnable hour for Roasting Ears, But
termiIk and HOney-He Philosophers
with Mrs. Arp in his unusual happy
style-ThinKs his time has come, but
don't make his VIII He accepts the
Situation because he must.
There is rich entertainment in Bill
Apps Constitutional account of the
"colic," etc.
81 once heard of grumblin old
farmer who made a big crop of very
fine corn and ON being congratulated
about it, said:
well, yes; my corn is all mighty
fine, but 1 don't know how I'll get
along without some nubbins to feed
the steers on.
''lt's raining now every day, but it
came too late, and we'll all have plen-
ty of steer food this year. reckon
we will make some tolerable corn on
the bottoms, and the late planting is
coming out smartly. If misery loves
company we can take comfort like the
darby did that Mr.. Stephens told
about in his speech, for poor crops are
pretty general thing" in this nabor-
hood.
"But maybe its all right-for we
did make an abundance Of wheat. and
it amt too late to make right smart
cotton and git Is cents a pound for it.
A man ought to be reconciled to what
he cannot help, that is unless he owes
little passed. Of money he can't pay
and Is reminded of it once a month on
postal card. That's bad amt it? Or
unless he has got lot of sickly no ac-
count children. I tell Mrs. Arp we
ought to be mighty thankful for there's
nary one of the ten that's cross-eyed or
knock need or pigun-toed or bOx-an-
kled or sway-backed or humps-should-
cred or lame or blind or idiotic and
grandchildren are an improvement up
on the stock, and don't believe any of
EN- Will ever git to the poOrhouse or
and have some Teller offer EN- a hun
dred dollars for his vote. A sound,
healthy body is a great blessing, and
fair set-off to most Of every kind of
bad luck that can happen to a man.
Mr.. Beecher was right when he said the
first rule to ensure good health was to
select good, healthy parents to be born
from. My nominations on this subject
have been quite luminous of late, for
I've been powerful sick. The fact is,
like to have died the other night, land
all of a SUDDEN. You see l had over
worked myself a fixing up a turnip-
patch, and got wet besides, and didn't
stop for dinner, and was sorter hungry
and bilious to start on and we had
roasten ears for supper and buttermilk
and honey, and takin it all together l
took the green corn dance about mid
night and the small Of my back caved
in and from then until daybreak l
never sot up, lay down, nor stood still
minute. Doubled up and twisted and
jerked around with excruciation pains,
[ cavorted all over one side Of the
house, for we had some Atlanta COM
pany on the other, and my groanings
were worse than foundered mule. 1t
was Just awful to behold and awful to
experience. Spirits of turpentine, cam
phor, hot water, mustard plaster, mush
poultice, paragoric, Jamiaca ginger
were all used externally and internally
but no relief. l trotted around and
paced and foX-trotted and Rugged the
bed-post and laid down and rolled over
on the floor like a hundred dollar
horse, and my wife, Mrs. Arp, she
trotted around to dose me with this
thing and that thing and had the stove
GvaI mn or,I GnIIaroI f,. hot v-ato,. 60,
ty times before she got it.
Il told you not to work so hard in
the hot sun, said she. oh, Lordy,'
said l.
81 asked you to change your clothes
as soon as you came to the house and
you didn't do it. oh my country
said l.
"'Don't wake up the company she
continued. And you would eat them
roasten ears for supper-did ever any
body hear Of man eating roasten ears
for supper and then wash 'em down
with buttermilk and honey oh, my
poor back, said l.
DO you recon its your back-aint it
further around in front? Oh, no. said
/, its everywhere. its lumbago, Its
Stalker, its Bright's disease, its Etna
VesIfvious all mixed up. Oh, I'm so
sick-cant nobody do nothin'
''Poor fellow, poor William. I'm so
sorry for you but you will wake up
the company if you don't mind-Fm
doing everything I can. You've taken
enough things now to kill you. de-
cleare 1 don't know what to do next
and all this comes from movin to the
country FIVE miles from drug store or
doctor. told you how it would be
-plumbags and skyattiker and a
bright disease, and the Lord knows
what, and l wouldn't be a bit surpris
ed if you had the yellow to boot
caught it trampin around Memphis
and Its just broke out on you. Poor
man, if he does die what will become
of us? But if he gets well he'll go and
do the same thing over again. Don't
grunt 50 loud declare you make
enough noise to wake up a grave ard.