Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1879-01-09
7 WHITE-HOUSE LUNATICS.
Some OF the Mad Men Who Call Resu-
larry to See the President. but Who
Never See Him.
Washington Star.


into the presidents room generally looi
sane enoug b; but some let their m menta
weakness be known by their quee
questions and strange actions. The,
are maneuyred out as soon as possible
but often cause considerable trouble
When a person calls at the executiv,
mansion who is so insane as to be help
less or dangerous he is turned over tt
the insane asylum or his home. From
cleWs furnished by themselves the
place from which they hail is often dis
covered, and they are given transporta
ton thereto at government expense
There are such a number that have tt
be sent to the insane asylum that it has
been suggested that a special appro
priation be made for taking them home
as 1t costs more to maintain them AT
the government expense in the asylum
Some harmless lunaties have method
| IN their madness. AT stated periods
they pay the white house visit. Their
faces have become familiar. Among
| these is an old gentleman who
lives short distance in the country,
near Bladensburg. He wears large,
soft hat, salt-and-pepper pants, and a
short black coat His eyes are blue
and mild, with nothing wild about them,
and his. hair is gray. He calls regularly
once in every two months. He comes
in the. door solemnly.. Being asked
what he wants, he replies: Il have
come to take my seat" He then tells
how he has been regularly elected presi-
dent, and would have come to enter
ON his duties sooner, but work on his
farm prevented his leaving home. The
ushers talk to him seriously about the
matter, and as a general thing he soon
leaves perfectly satisfied. The last
time he called he was somewhat per-
slstent in demanding "the presidential
chair" in order "to take his lawful
seat. Being expostulated with he ex-
planned to the ushers that they need
have no fear; he did not intend to make
any changes and would keep them all
in office. He didn't know, come to
think of it, that he would make any
removals at all. He might, however,
put Secretary Schurz out of the cabinet.
Hewas asked if he had wife. He re-
Piled, "No." He was then told that no
man unmarried could be president. He
left Immediately, with the expressed
determination to marry as soon as he
got home, and then come back and
take his seat.
A man comes down from Penhsylva-
MA about five times year. He is about
80 years old and dresses neatly and
comfortably: He demands to see the
House have been decided to him and he
wants possession of both. The last
time he called he wore pair of badly
used up shoes and got slightly noisy.
When put outside the door he said:
II will submit this time, as I do not
wish to make Hayes houseless; but the
next time leone wantno foolishness.
| want him to move out promptly. /
hate 10 be so harsh, but my shoes are
wearing out and L must have my rights.
Just tell him how this case stands.
A woman from Maine walked In one
day in dress like that of Quakeress.
She Stalked into the east room, and.
spreading large Bible-which she car
rled under her arm-on one of the win
dow seats, announced her text and be-
gan in loud voice to hold forth on the
necessity of being born again. Sergt.
Dinsmore told her she must not make a
noise. She calmly told him that her
mission was to convert President Hayes
and she had come to fulfill it. An eff
fort being made to escort her to the
door, sfe again became loud and quot
ed verse after verse from the Bible.
After much noise, but no active resist
ance, she was gotten out on the porch
and the door was closed. She left an
nouncing her determination to convert
Mr.. Hayes, and repeating Scriptural
texts all the way down the concrete
walk to the gate. ,-i1..5
A man from Ohio called a few days
ago. He had theory that the world
was coming to an end in few days if
he was not made superintendent of the
naval observatory; in view that he
might. by his knowledge of astronomy,
avert the impending collision of the
earth with all the planets. He was
promised the position and left satisfied.
Ohio. by the by, furnished quite a
number of subjects. A woman from
that state, about 40 years old, with a
gray hat, a light woolen cloak, hand
some brown eyes and regular features,
came quietly last week. She said that
there was s., 900 up that she had been
elected governor of Pennsylvania on
the greenback ticket. She had only
the week before gone to that state to
see about it, and not getting much sat
isfaction, had come to the president to
have the question finally settled. She
exhibited what she called her "creden-
tials." This important document was
the ticket issued by the greenbackers in
the recent elections in Pennsylvania
and had on them, of course, the names
of all the nominees of that party. She
was told that the president could do
nothing for her, and was referred to
Attorney-GeneralD Devins. II
A raw-boned fellow from Maine is
seen no more at the White House. He
used to be regular visitor. He would
march in every morning, walk up to
one of the ushers, and, with military
salute, hand MIN letter. The letters
were always addressed to the "Hon. r.
dent of the United States, U.
S. of America, Western Cont
nent, White House, District of Colum-
bia." These letters were always opened,
but were such scrawls thatn onecould
read them. This probably suited the
man exactly, as all he seemed to want
was to deliver the letters promptly at 8
every morning.
Last summer burly lunatic raised
row in the East Room because he was
told by Sergt. Dinsmore that the Presi-
dent could not see him. He was put
out. Dinsmore watched and saw that
he went around back of the house. He
stepped to the south end of the East
Room just in time to grab the big intru