Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-05-02
MULTUM IN PARYO.


TREES begin to die at their tops
men begin to dye there, too.
"PUT bel-punch on your mouth
is the latest acquisition to the slang die
tiOnary.
IF you are in love, Just constitute
yourself "Teller Committee of one,
and settle the business.
A GREAT many people in this world
closely resemble the letter E, and be-
cause it is always to be found in debt.
WHY are your nose and chin con
stantly at varisnceP Because words
are continually passing between them.
The Philadelphia Times remarks that
there is scarcely town in this country
so small and respectable that It can't
afford a walking match.
LET US all be merry; brighter days
are in store for u.s. A Philadelphia
Organ-gTinder has been arrested. d.-PhiL-
GdeEphtG C25r0BieLe-RerGld.
Ii you want to spoil your child give
him kerosene lamp to play with. The
chances are that after the explosion he
win be spoiled pretty completely.
1t was Brougham who said that q
lawyer is q very learned gentleman
who rescues your estate from your enc
mics and then keeps itfor himself.
AN old bachelor says that he's been
so often deceived by the chicken of
these restaurants and boarding-houses
that he calls it sc the mecking- bird"
An admirer of Weston, O'Leary and
other '' tramps' purchased a copy Of
Walkers Dictionary, under the i'm
preston that it was a work on pedes-
trianism.-NoTTistO1OH Herald.
In view of the increasing number of
female lawyers it may be necessary to
remind jurymen that women tears are
very easily started and seldom mean
anything.-IOSOG State Register.
THAT was a neat bull one Of our
clergymen perpetrated in his sermon
the other day. Speaking of Bunyan in
prison, he said: "NO one but his
blind daughter came to see him.
Springfield Union.
A CHICAGO woman is going to try to
keep her mouth shut 5000 quarter
hours. If this new departure should
become epidemic, what mighty peace
would settle down over this troubled
landi-OI City Derrick.
TEXAS papers are praying for the
whipping post. The San Antonio Her
aid has heard of a negro who stole a
box of sardines valued at twenty cents,
and was sent to the Penitentiary at q
cost Of 81, 900 to the State.
The Philadelphia Times shows that
the attendance at twenty nine churches
Of that city on a recent Sunday was
q, ,974 women and children and II, ,314
men. OF this number $4,000 were
Roman Catholics, attending four
churches.
THERE has been a remarkable case
of constancy in England. A man who
separated from his wife thirty-fVe
years ago has Just returned and Of
fered to "kiss and make up" A few
days prior to the offer the wife had in
herited large estate.
THE Rev. DR.. Rhea, leading Meth
Odist Episcopal preacher at Daven-
port, Iowa, created much excitement
among his psrishioners recently by
preaching q sermon in which he IA
Vored the entire prohibition of relig-
ious teaching in the schools.
LORD married q charming
woman. She died, and he married 3
lady with temper. Some one called
on him the other day and said, &c Where
is your WifeP' He answered, 'TShe
is in Heaven. I am not; Lady is
in the drawing London Truth.
PRESIDENT GREW, when asked lately
to write something in a lady's album,
put in the following sentence: "Life
is like q game Of chess; each one holds
his rank according to his quality, but,
when the game is over, Kings, Queens,
Knights and all the rest are thrown
into one common box"
THERE are many curious ways of
making money, and this is one Of
them: Two young men Of Cayugs
County, New York, make business of
going from town to town and represent
to the owners of cats that their prem
ises are running over with rats and
mice, inquire whether the lady has not
a cat or two to spare, promising to
take good care Of them and return them
in week or two. In this manner they
frequently make q big bag in few
hours, and driving OF to convenient
shelter cut the cats thrOats, skin them
for their pelts, put the hides in their
sleigh and are ready for another round
in pursuit of their game. They get
fifteen cents q piece for all the pelts
they can get, and are making money
''hand over fist"
A SNAIL THAT Would Nor STARvE.
An Egyptian desert snail was re-
ceived at the British Museum on March
IL Al ,rNA
to be alive, as ithad withdrawn into its
shell, and the specimen was according
ly gummed, mouth downward, on to q
tablet duly labeled and dated, and LETT
70 its fate. Instead Of starving, this
oontented gasteropod simply went to
sleep in q quiet way, and never woke
up again for four years. The tablet
was then placed in tepid water and the
shell loosened, when the dormant snail
suddenly resuscitated himself, began
walking about the basin, and finally
sat for his portrait, which may be seen
of life-size In Mr.. WoOdward's 'fMsn-
ual of the Mollusea." Now, during
those four years the snail had never
eatelu q mOuthful of any food, yet he
was quite IS well and fourishing st the
end Of the perod as he had been at the
beginning. BelgTGUtG-
ETHE Bank of England viii be one
hundred and eighty-6ve years old on
the 9th of the coming July, having
reoaivsd its charter Of incorporation at
that date, and having been projected
by William Paterson, 9 Seotchman.
Constituted aS q joint-stook company,
with q capital Of q, 200, 900, the whole
sum was lent ct interest to the govern
ment Of William and Mary, then much
embarrassed. At the outset it was
servant OF the State and has ever since
continued such more or less Inc
charter, granted at first for eleven
years, has been from time 70 nne To
1ewed the last renewal, subject to
Modification or revocation, having been
In 1874 For q while the business
was done in one room; now the hsnk
nooupies, as everybody knows, . large
building in Thresdneedle street and
employs some eight hundred men.
Nothing less than R5 note is ever IS,
sued, and no rote Il issued 3 second
time. The averaSs amount OF no'os
in circulation Is E25. .OSSS.OOO.
AN ingenious labOr-ssTing devieS for
picking hops has recently been in
vented, the arrangement consisting
chiefly Of two rubber rollers, so con-
structed as to draw in the branch OF
the vine, while two steel rollers, haT-