The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-01-17
HUMOROUS.

w IIh VIC ruIcWu lcHisAaSoi ~ 40
never too late TO Amend"
NOTHING is 30 conducive to freeze
speech as an icy sidewalk.
SOMETHING man never keeps and
yet never sells-his dairy.
CALAMITY never leaves us where it
finds us. 1t either softens or hardens.
The inebriate's song-This is the way
| long have sot.--Saturday Night.
In fishing for pickerel through the
ice you want to cut an angler hole
LoaoeH Courier.
MARY had little lamb. 1t was
roasted, and she wanted more.-NeU
Orleans Picayune.
"GET thee behind me, satin," as the
actress said when she kicked the train of
her dress out of the way.-Puck.
Isn't billiard player baize ball
player what think cue?-- whitehall
Times.
WITH ice at $50 per ton, it is no Won
der that our young folks are obliged to
skate On rollers Orleans Picayun
GRAVES of rich men all remind u.s.
We snould!make our deaths sublime,
Where the snatcheIs cannot lind us,
Buried desp in good quick time.
QUESTION for debating society: "If
a man has a tiger by the tail, which
would be the best for his personal
safety-to hold on or to let go?"
He used to call his girl Revenge
CogDomen IN her sweet
For when one asked him why, he'd say
You know Revenge is sweet"
DoN'T ride a mule unless you want TO
v1lo foot in ha L. L.
in the United States senate " hitehaH
Times.
MARY had a little lam
For ssssing her big sister
Her mother slapped her hard. and then
Woman-like-she kissed her.
WHEN poultry dealer has turkey
that he thinks cannot live till Christmas
he kills it for Thanksgiving 0.
ficayune.
A MAN with cold in his head dislikes
to give vent to his feelings in church,
and consequently gets down on bis sneeze
while there.-Hacktn'Gck Republican.
If Sioux spells sue, and eye spells
j. and 81 g-h-e-d spells side, why doesn't
S-i-o-u-x-e-y-e-s-i-g-h'e.d spell suicide 2
Exchange.
A GREAT writer says: "Some people
are born Christians" But there's no
occasion for worrying over the matter;
they generally outgrow it.--Bridgeport
STANDARD.
The Brooklyn Union asks: " If man
puts his conundrum in this shape-'Will
you give me five dollarsT-do you al
way give it up" No; we tell him We
haven't got the answer about Us.
He loved Sophronia, but she would
have none of him, and he turned away
in anguish, land as he noticed Angelina's
smiles and soft, love-laden eyes bent full
upon him, he murmured, p" He loved not
twicely, but two we'll"
HERE is horrible one from the tiend
of the New Haven Regi'ter: Don't
venture on the thin ice, just yet, boys.
If you should break through you might
take a bad cold, and perhaps have
coffin fit"
THAT was good, though rather
severe, pun which was made by an Edin-
hurgh student when he asked, why is
Professor - the greatest revivalist of
the age?" and, on all "giving it up"
said. "Because at the end of every SER
mon there is a great awakening."-E1.
INsTRUCToR-"W What does Cardillac
say about brutes in the scale of beiDg?"
Student" He says that brute is an
imperfect animal" Instructor" And
what is MANI STUDENT" Man is
perfect brute. "-HayUdrd Crimson.
IT costs $50 at Rome, n. Y. to kiss a
girl against her will,-Mtv York (om-
meyciot advertiser. Fudge! get her will
out of the way, and kiss her behind her
testament, as We used to at Sunday school
in the county, Boston Commercial But-
ietin.
WHEN JENNY was questioned as to
why his engagement with Miss h. had
been broken OF, he rolled his eyes, look
ed very much panied, and groaned,
Oh! she turned out deceiver," But
he forgot to mention that he was the
deceiver whom she had turned out
4 uck.
"THIs sponge" said Busters barber
yesterday, a. he drew it across his brow,
{" will take away every bit of that head
ache" Not on the principle of like
curing like, them reserted b.; for the
whisky of this headache was not spong-
ed."--R,'hmond { Va.) State.
THEY had been playing cards until
late at night, and next morning at
breakfast Smith said he had had bad
that he bad lost heavily
at poker, and had been afterward chased
by "A tribe of Indians. Somebody then
asked if it was Pocahontas.
If people would only keep their
mouths shut repairing other peoples
business, what vast amount of trouble
there would be spared in this world
hut what lots of people would be thus
thrown out of OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Gazette.
THERE'S great difference between
housekee ping and boarding out" said
Mr.. YouDgbusband; for when
boarded out | had to- wait some times
half an hour for my dinner, but now I
have it just when can get it Boston
rot.
VENERABLB but good; 81 shay, my
frien', can you (hic) tell me where the
other side of the street is?" Certainly;
Just across the way; why do you ask?"
" Why, (hic) because minute ago I
asked another Teller the same thing, and