Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-09-18
W.T. UHU HUHlO1'.

A press observation-disclosures.
, Drawn from the wood-A log.
ln-tents saffering-Camping out.
, Something to a vOid-A vacuum.
A wringing machine-A COW bell.
Advance notes.-the bugler's call.
, a chop house-A kindling wood fac.
, tory.
Bachelors haul-A wife when lie takes
one.
One touch OF humor makes the whole
world grin.
The dentists in convention agreed to pull
together for another year.
Every man could have wife if he only
maiden effort. But lass he won't.
When farmer takes pleasure trip. why
not write him down as an agricul-tourist |?
Throw him rope" is the proper thing
to say when you see friend OF yours over
bored. The effect is magical.
A young man went into a restaurant the
other day. and remarking. ''time is mon
ey.' added that as he had a half-hour TO
spare. if the proprietor was willing. he'd
take it out in pie.
DIR. Holmes says: Poems are rarely
printed correctly in newspapers and he
gives that as reason why SO many poets
die young. Who says that the press is not
an engine Of good:-Boston Post.
IVY chould | have de govt. toctor:'
The doctor said erhaps it was hereditary:
upon which Hans replied: ''Ah. you arr.
much right now. My vife's uncle used to |
have him. and inherit him. Don't it?"
The three proudest moments in a mars
life between the cradle and the grave. are,
when he gets his first pair of red-top boots,
when the girls call him mister" and when
the doctor tells him it's Il boy.
I'm childhood's happy. sunny days. we
take no note of time" sang an old poet.
And that's where You get stuck. Be wise.
Take note Of Time and every one else.
And "a bond and mortgage when you can
get them. {
Observation-Disclosures. my dear. you seem
TO be very Lonesome in my company. Do
you not love ME nov as You did before our
marliage:" Wife-"Why. Of course. Ger {
aid: but you know since our marriage We
have become one. and feel lonesome with |
out second party II
A certain editor was taking a walk one =.
evening with his wife. when she, who was
somewhat romantic and an adnirer of ma
ure. said: "Oh. Augustus. just notice the =:
noon.'' Cant think Of it. my dear, for :,
ess than twenty cents line"
The editor who quashed juicy cock :,
zach with the butt end OF his lead pencil, :.
MI afterward forgettully sucked the same :.
fhile wooing coy expression. suddenly :,
onnd word, but it proved to be foreign .
the subject under consideration. :
"Major. how did yees liver lose that les?'
Why. Pat. one of my ancestors was an 4
'islnman; and all my blood that came from =
i'm was in my left leg. So had it cut
r." by the powers" said Pat. Its
ty that 1t hadn't settled in your headw
A double-5arrcled postal card. that will
't only go. but come. as provided for in
e post Off, appropriation bill. is only
index OF til, ,stal card development.
hen the postal ID reaches perfection.
will be constructed on the principle of a Su
ousand mile ticket. to be ~sed until it is OLE
punched out. and there will be an IAN
al postal card issued tor editors.
One establishment in New Haven manu-
:tured over twenty-five millions of fish
oks last year. And yet. with official re-
ms in from thirty-one States. and only
0 counties in Florida to hear from. there
We been only six millions of fish and
ven millions OF human thumbs caught
5 year. The other five million hooks
sticking around in submarine logs and
dye piles. Jus
Patrick" said priest. s.the widow
'lony tells me that you have stolen one A
her finest pigs. Is that soy "Yes. yer
lor." 'What have yor done with it.''
ille'l it and ate it. yer honor" ..Oh.
rick. when you are brought face to face
h the widow and her pig on the Jutlg- And
Mt Day. what account will you be able "
rive of yourself when the widow accuses
of the theft:' did you say the pig
uld be there. yer riverence?' 40 be
e did, "Well. then. yer reverence, u
say. Mrs. Molony. there's yer pig" l4a
he other day. sharp looking youth :
ked mp quickly to tie counter of the
office in country town. and. empty
a bag OF cOppers thereof. asked the :.
K. who was attending to other CUSTOM
for dollars worth of one-cent stamps. -
!. you be bothered was the answer.
at not legal tender: it's all "copper""
hat is legal tender. them" asked the
why. one cert is legal tender for
e-cent stamp" "Oh." exclaimed the Is
III. lis it? Come on, Them passing a ''0p-
from the heap, "a one-cent stamp.
se." The clerk gave him one. IAN.
+. please" Another was given him.
O." Here. stop that" the clerk
Give me the money. 1t will be the
test way TO get rid Of you.'' Amer
ting the money. he gave the value
,of in stamps TO the lad. who WAS 4
n