The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1879-08-16
THIS AMI THAT.
Are bookworms good for bait ?

habit of calling his wife an ark angel.
"A stick in time saves nine boys out of
ten.
IF you are ambitious to move in the
highest circles join the next expedition to
the Arctic circles.
West Point has Filtration Walk where
the cadets learn the tactics used in engage
ments
-" Give the devil his due" said Aighty
orator. Then up rose a backwoodsman and
said, Gle will take his duei don't you be
afeard."
-" Smile when you can" is the latest
thing we are asked to do by those gratuit-
ously admonitory beings, the poets. No one
can smile when he can't.
Seventeen persons were poisoned by
drinking lemonade at picnic at Lanes
borough, Mimi, the other day. Some
scoundrel must nave put some lemons and
sugar in it,
He was inclined to be facetious. "What
quantities of dried grasses you keep here,
Miss Stebbins Nice room for donkey to
5S' lhOu NhuhS youlsCIl az lAOiuGJ 9uS
responded with sweet gravity.
There are two little girls of the samo
name in New London, Conn. The other
night one of them said her prayers, and for
fear they might be credited to the ether
child, she added, after the Amen, "No. 10
Orange street"
He was a disgusted boy. He had exer-
cised great caution and had finally succeed
ed in crawling, unobserved, under the can
vass into the tent. And he found it was not
a circus, but a revival meeting in progress.
The clergyman in a certain town, as
the custom is, having published the banns
of matrimony between two persons, was fol-
lowed by the clerks reading the hymn be-
ginning with these words: "Deluded souls,
that dream of heaven !"
--"Did you observe the Fourth ?" asked
the Judge of man sitting on the prisoners
bench, with both eyes tied up. 81 did" re-
piled that individual, "and haven't been
able to observe anything since"
"A newly married lady was telling
another how nicely her husband could write.
"Oh, you should just see some of his love
letters p eyes, know" was the freezing
reply; give got bushel Of them at hume
in my trunk" [Tableau.l
-"Chares, are you not going to bid good
bye to your sisters ?" "If they loved me less,
mamma, if their affection were less sincere
and unconventional. But must positively
put my foot down once for all. l cannot be
+ rumpled"
-"Can you tell me where the wicked
boys go who fish on Sunday?" asked
sober looking gentleman of little chap who
had worms and rod. "Yes; some OF 'em
goes to the river, and them as is very wick
ed goes to the lake. III show you the best
place at the lake"
"A physician having duel on his hands
requests two of his friends to arrange with
his adversary the hour of the meeting.
: "Make it tomorrow" he says, "but not in
the forenoon, because l must visit four pa
: tients before going to the ground" ~ see,"
murmurs one of the seconds, che wants to
t get his hand in"
An old farmer intent on making his
will was asked by the lawyer the name Of
his wife, when he gravely replied; - Well,
:, indeed, really don't recolect what it is
we've been married for upwards of forty
. years, and | always called her my old wo-
man." The hwyer lelta blank, to be filed
up when his old woman's name was ascer-
tanned.
a When man comes up TO us and men
tions "that little BILL" we reply: ooh, yes !;
we should have fixed that some time ago,
but had to go to Memphis to write up the
scourge. Just got back to day Come down
d to tn Office and we'll give you the the mon
/" eyi it's in our travelling bag" And he says
he's got to run to catch the train.-( Boston
Post.
--Beaconsfeld still refuses to touch AL
gernon Turner's testimonial wreath, and
"A the question now is, what will Algernon
10 Turner do with it? 1t is beautiful wreath
all gold and gems, and we suggest that ifhe
7 wants still stouter TO cement the friendship
p, between the two countries, he can't do better
than bind 1t ON the classic brow Of Talmage
Here we have The great Egyptian
,u wonder, captured in the wllds of South
el Africa, with loss Of five thousand men anc
or an expenditure offorty millions Of treasure!
ms exclaimed the Snowman, shaking his whiI
or in a threatening manner at a stuffed hide II
~ a glass cage. Don't go too close said 1
mother to her son; at might seize YOU
"Have no fears madam, for the safety o
your offspring" observed the showman,elo
, qgentlyj "lor does not the good book teacl
:, us that wonders will never seize? Pas
- rapidly on to the next cage and view th
:. living skeleton, or tho man who marrie'
:, his mother-in law"
NO Mr.. Bledsoe, late returning from ye
tie lodge, in merrio plight, walked ye still nygh
ed with fell alarmes and rude, and crept hir
ch his house into ye open window througl
ed and, seeking for char 10 reach, his way
nd ing wlle's new summer bonnet sat upor
RI full heavie and with certain harmes theret'
m. Loud shrieked the ladye layre, but Bledso
il with well-atempted eheerfulness, bis voyc
de uplined, and with whatever musicke tina
of mote be that men on lodge-nyght most d
or warLle with, he sang, "Im sitting on th
ed style, Mary /" Loud lallen he, but she, Ii
us. menting her unluckie plight, wept shril
and yet the whyles she wayld the more l
did rejoyce.
nat The other day a sharp-looking yout
ted walked up quickly to the counteroithe pos
tie; Office in a country town, aud emptying
on bag of coppers thereon, asked the clerk WI
al was attending to other customers, for do
ere .ar's worth Of one cent stamps. "OA, yo
ool be bothered I" was the answer. "That's n,
no legal tender; il is all copper" What is
i'm, legal tender, then ?' asked the boy. "Wh
ia one cent is legal tend" .or a one Gel
use stamp" "Oh :" exclaimed the youth, "