Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1879-10-14
NUMBER 40.

courage which marks him as born leader
of his race. II is the exceptional small
boy of this variety who heads expeditions
against the Indians and organizes gangs
of Juvenile highwaymen. That these
enterprises do not meet with success is
due to forces beyond his control, but they
display the greatness of his intellect and
the boldness of his character. Of this
type of small boy is Master Jaggars, OF
North Meriden, Conn, who lately de-
vised an ingenious and entirely novel
scheme for arresting the flow of American
copper coins toward the heather pockets
of juvenile India.
Some two months since Master Jaggars
who had painfully accumulated the sum
of twenty-five cents, with a view to an
expected circus, was compelled to cOnse-
crate fifteen cents TO the hated small boys
of India. Ii was this last of long series
of pecuniary outrages that determined
him to take a bold stand against mission
ary assessments. and he, therefore, sum-
moned a mass meeting of small boys on
Saturday afternoon at Deacon Pratts
barn, ostensibly with a view to rats, but
really in order to propose plan OF de-
fence against heather encroachments.
Master Jaggers made a moving speech,
in which he glowingly described the lux
ury in which the heather small-boy wal
lows. "He amt washed, and he can
wear Just as little cloze as hesermlneter
There amt no school for him, nor no Sun
day, you bet. He can go swimmin' ev-
cry day, and can just lay off on the bank
and see the crocodiles scoop in washer
women and such. Then his back
yard is chuck full of tigers and hip
popomusses, and no end Of snakes, and
he can steal his dads gun and shoot 'em
out of the back window. This is the
chap that rakes in all our money, and
say it's more'n we ought to stand. Now,
move that we all turn heather our
selves. The folks can't make us wash
and 90 to school if were heather, and
all the other boys will have to put up
their money for us
1t is needless to say that this speech
was received with tumultuous applause
Howls of execration went up as the lux
uries of the hated heather were described,
and the proposal to adopt heathenism
as a profession was unanimously support
ed. A slight temporary opposition was
manifested by Master Sabln who NAM
tanned that in order to become heather
they must first have their eyes put out
theory which was based upon misln-
depreciation of the hymn which speaks OF
the "heathen in his blindness - The OBJ
iector. however, was soon convinced OF
his error, and expressed thercupon a hearty
desire to become a heather.
The details of the scheme were all ar
ranged by Master Jaggars. \ plaster
bust Of Mr.. S. j. Tilden was decided TO
be ugly enough to serve as an idol, and
the amuteur heather placed it on an
empty barrel in the barn, and bowed
down to it with much gravity. They
discarded all their clothing except towel
twisted around the waist, and blackened
their entire bodies with burnt cork. There
could be no doubt that they were very
successful heather in appearance, and As
il was late in the afternoon, they resolved
10 spend the night in the barn 10 break
fast on the ,poils of Deacon Pratts or
chard, and to attend Sunday school ina
body. in order 20 collect tribute from the
Christian boys. The Sunday school
opened as usual the next morning, al
though the absence Of eleven boys created
a good deal of remark soon after the
exercises had begun the teachers were
astounded at the entrance OF Master
Jargars and his ten associate heathen.-
1t is only fair to say that the heather be-
hayed themselves with as much propnety
as their professional duties would permit.
Master Jaggars advanced to the Superin-
tendent and remarked: IF YOU please,
sir, we've all turned heather. There
amt no foolin' about it. We've got a
first class old idol, and We don't believe
in nothing nc more. So, if you please,
sir, will YOU please tell them CHRISTIAN
bows to fork over half the money they've
got, and to remember how blessed It Is to
consecrate it to the real genuine heather.
There is no instance on record IN which
a heather has been converted as quickly
as Master Jaggars. The Superintendent
took him by one ear, and at the tenth
stroke of the cane Master Jaggars re-
nounced his heathenism and promised to
relinquish his idol and return to the Chris
tian faith without moments delay The
other heather, alarmed by the fate Of
their leader, fed to the barn, washed
themselves, resumed their clothing, and
went homeward with sober countenances
singing missionary hymns. The North
Meriden revival of heathenism was dis
astrous failure, but nevertheless the bold
ness and originality of the scheme de-
vised by Master Jaggars must command
our wonder and admiration.
The BIGGEST SNAKE STORY YET.-On
Tuesday after the election, while J. w.
Goodloe was taking straw off George
Ramsey's stack, he turned up a large