National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1879-08-28


BUTLER squnts so much that his outlook is
not very good.-IHantd Constitution.
COOP doctors arc liable to be raped up in
their business-NetD Orleans Pcdyue.
SPILKINs says his smoking-tobacco Is like a
rhinoceros because 1t is pack o. Durham.
The dentists in convention agree to pull to-
gether for another year.-NeW Orleans Pico-
yne.
Mr.. SANKEY asks: How can kcop from
singing ?" Let him try holding sponge in
his mouth. Thapll choke oil the worst OF it.
| anyhOw.-GIdphiC.
Mr.. GEORGE ROPE, of San Francisco, got
drunk aud proceeded to battle in the public
fountain. They arrested him, not wanting any
tight-rope exhibitions in the street.-Detroit
Free Press
PAUL BoYToNs bride, If she takes an ocean
in her head, beside wanting n watered silk
dress, should have high-tido shoes and water
waves in her hair, and be thankful if she hasn't
a creek in her back.
A WOMAN who was not Psychologist, aud
whose husband had some internal malady,
said to friend: you see, l give him deal
of bread and milk. 1t flies to the part, you
know, aud acts Us poultice. '-BostOR GLOBE.
A GORGEOUS English swell, leading dog.
inquired at railroad station: "Must-l, aw
take ticket for Il puppy?" Tho bewildercd
clerk regarded him lUr Il moment and then
replied; NO, SIR you can 80 rs an ordinary
person."
ONE French journalist to another at tho
Cafe Riehi-"Suppose | should slap your facet"
The other-"Hum don't know. The othor
day / was passing in a narrow street and
donkey gave me u kick, but did not send any
seconds to the animal
The small boy mOurueth rs the holiday
season draweth nigh its termination. But
there is one consolation for him. lie should
paste in his hat tue item that a schoolmastor
in san Francisco dropped dead while pun
ishng pupil. 1t 10 nm exceedingly dark
cloud that has no silver lining Detroit Free
Press.
You did not deign to notice me yester day."
said u beautiful fair Que to u gentlemen at
Atlantic City, 81 did not see you" frankly
responded the gentleman. you could, if you
would only have turned your head" MY
dear friend calamity responded the gentle
man, if had doue so, l feel sure it would
not hav0 been the first head your charms have
turned. philadelphia Sunday Item.
ABOUT week ago some young ladies got up
party to go on u moonlight excursion, Tho
night finally arrived, aud tho moon flooded
field and river with glow Of pearly richness.
When the party was ready to leave the house
which had been appointed rs tho rendezvous,
| il was noticed that Que of tho most charming
| young ladies OF the coterlu had shawl on.
WHATS the matter Luoy2' inquired ono
young lady "are you afraid of taking coldY
! mo, no." she replied, Tho thermometer Is
up AT So. You'll roast ii you wear that shawl"
! "im willing to roast she said, pcttishly.
/ Don't YOU know why she wears that shawlr"
laughed her little brother, as he wiped some
tatIy on his mouth with his jacket sleeve
/ "You keep still, you john Henry screamed
/ the dear angel, - she turned truo red. Tho
boy then got out of reach and yelled, "lil tell
YOU Why she wears that shawl, When she
gets out ON the river BON puts his arm under
/ IL aud hugs her .,.u uvo .dy can see through
| the game.