Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-12-26
Detroit Currency.

1ue nSn We lOsc WcIBu more tnal
those We catch.
Autumn leaves aud caterpillars will
soon pass away.
Beware of the stranger who il sure
lie met you somewhere last summer.
Just time enough between now and
Christmas to finish dressing gown and
a pair of slippers.
Stuffing cotton in your ears won't pre-
vent you from catching cold in the
head. Put it in your mouth.
Florida alligators have become so
bold that they Venture to attack office.
holders. This impudence must be
crushed.
a man who will put on wet stockings
when he draws on new boots will never
have corns. Never let the shoe dealer
chalk your heels.
1t seems as if all the tenderest and
most romantic names of modern times
had been stolen by tobacconists for
brands and labels.
A deaf man can get out of a crowd as
soon as any one when collection is to
be taken up, and yet the fact has Away s
puzzled philosophers.
4 St. Louis counterfeiter gave him
sci! away by purchasing hair-oi. If he
had only been a baldheaded man he
might now have his liberty.
Josh Billings says money won't buy
the wag Of dogs tail. The idiot
Won't money buy the dog, and doesn t
fha ou and foil M tonathar
A New York paper insists that un-
dertakers should not be permitted to
display collins to the public gaze, end
that all funerals be held at night.
The New York San is great on con.
dersing. 1t lately condensed the sala-
ries of all employees ten per cent, and
it lost four editors in consequence.
Joseph White, over 80 years of age,
and resident of Detroit, claims to be
the first man in this country to tack up
a sign reading: "Shut this door"
The Boston Post says it isn't neces.
sary to have gun to hunt game. You
won't find any game, anyhow, and it is
therefore foolish to lug gun around.
Only one boy in seventeen in Amer
lea can bend pin to make it answer
the place of tack. Schools of design
should be opened in every town in the
land.
There are certain men who can he
justly hated for the sound of their
voice. and yet these are the very chaps
who wouldn't keep still for love nor
money.
Most of the New York burglars are
under twenty years of age, which leads
the Graphic to believe that there isn't
half enough spanking machines in this
country.
One of the richest men in Albany
began life working in sewers at eighty
cents day. He hadn't been working
year when his uncle died and left
him $500, 900.
1t is hard work to convince boy
that farmer can own and have control
over chestnut trees, and it's all the
harder because you can't gather chest
nuts at night.
Philosophy is good thing so far as
it pays cash down. When philosophy
teaches the hired girl to scatter the
clothes pins all over the back yard one
or the other should be discharged.
Let some one grapple with the fact
that not one single person confined in
the Memphis Jail has been attacked
with fever, while the good citizens out.
side have been slain right and left.
When woman loves a man and he
cant love back, it isn't exactly right for
her to shoot him. 1t would be far more
proper for her to pine and die and ask
him to see that her grave is kept green.
Seth Green doesn't exactly mean to
choke this nation to death on fish.
bones, but by his mania for introducing
shad one must conclude that he means
to create taste in this country for
water-soaked COW hide and slabs.
Mrs. DELPHI was preparing dinner
and her husband was sitting on the edge
of the bed cleaning his revolver, when
that weapon was accidentally" Why
waste any more words? 1t was in In
dianapolis, and of course she was shot.
If there is any question, theory,
patty or schism that hasn't been incor.
porated in some of the platforms {"
brought out by different State conven-
tons, you have only to mention it and
the oversight will be promptly cor
rected.