River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-01-09


J We haven't room for the poem, but JUS
. to quiet Elfrida we will answer her con
undrum. The dream of our life has beer
} to be rich enough to pat on clean shir
J every day, and to have two suits o
/ clothes, with pair OF suspenders to eacf
pair of pants. Bui 1t has never been
realized EIfrida. Castles in the air.
Keokuk Constitution.
To some pungent remarks of a profes-
sional brother, Western lawyer began
) his reply as follows: MAY it please this
court Resting upon the couch OF repub-
lican equality as do, covered with the
blanket of constitutional panoply as Tam
and protected by the egis of American
liberty as | feel myself to be, despise
the buzzing Of the professional insect
who has just set Gown, and defy his flu
tile attempts to penetrate, with his puny
sting, the insterstices of my impervious
covering
I A young man sends us a long essay on
"The True Aim of Journalism" We
haven't read the article, bat suppose the
author, like every one else, prefers the
Smith & Wesson, navy size, No Al calib-
er, TO any other pistol. In this locality,
especially, is the aim of the journalist Of
the greatest importance, and the man
whose hands shakes and who can't hit an
outraged community's third vest button
three times out of five has no business
trying to run aTpaper in California San
Francisco Ne1es- Letter.
A little chimney-sweeper entered the
''tommy" shop at colliery and asked for
a three. penny loaf of bread The shop,
man handed him one. The boy looked
at it and said it was ''smaIl yen" So"
said the shopman ait will be the less to
carryp The lad then put two pence-half-
penny on the counter and ran off. The
shopman hastened TO the door, and
shouted for him to come back, as he bsd
not lett money enough. 20, cried the
| lad, sit will be the less TO COUNT.
One night last week, at a party in To-
ronto, a young man was frightening
some of the young ladies by daring cx-
! hihition of a revolver, when the weapon
was accidently discharged, the bullet
entering the young mans side, inficting
serious wound. We have said great
many harsh things about these young
men whose revolveTs contain more than
their heads, bnt we retract everything
now. At last revolver has been found
that knows which man to shoot. May
bis tribe increase. Burlington Haaokeye.
A Methodist parson, called to preach
at an out of rhe-way town in California,
was informed before entering the pulpit
that he must be careful, as many of the
assembled congregation were "roughs,"
and would not hesitate to disturb him if
his remarks didn't suit. The HI nan
made no reply, but having reacheo ,e
desk he took from his pocket two levolv-
ers, and placing one on each side of the
Bible gave a sharp glance around the
room and said, "Le. US pray" A more
orderly service was never conducted.
The Montreal papers report that the
mysterious lights which have been MOTTO
ed on the lower st. Lawrence River and
on the Gulf for century have been I'M
usually brilliant this year. Blue and
yellow flames are seen about midnight, as
of ship on fire, but, as they are ap-
preached, they fit farther away, and dis
appear in the morning mist. Old sailors
have observed that their unusual brillian-
CIV always betokens heavy fall and winter
gales, and October has certainly confirmed
their expectations, whatever winter may
do.
A young man drove into Xenia, Ohio,
the other day with some friends, to meet
a train. Arriving at the depot, freight
train was standing on the side track, and
the countryman, not seeing any convent
ent place to tie up, deliberately hitched
his horse to the rear car of the freight,
and proceeded to promenade the walks
a. 10
train. What was his surprise when he
saw his hitchin9 post pull out for Cineln-
natl, with his horse and wagon bringing
up the rear in not the best of order. 1t
would not be proper to record the re-
marks of the young man on the subject
Dr. Thomson, taken for his text "Lcok
not upon the wine when it is red IN the
cup, enlarged upon evil effects of drink
ing upon the head, heart and purse. As
the congregation departed, two old GRO
MES, given to taking more than q wee
trap, talked over the sermon.
"Did you hear yon, Johniel" quoth one.
odd | hearth Wha didna hearth |
meier winked an e'e."
ga weel, an what thought ye o't2"
"Adeed, Davie, think he has been
lad in his day, or he couldna ha ken'd so
weel about il; he's been sly hand, the
minister"
When boy falls and peels the. skin of
his nose, the first thing he does is too get
up and howl. When a girl tumbles and
hurts herself badly, her first movement is
to arise with more has'e than grace, look
searchingly at her dress and savagely at
some innocent young man standing on
an opposite corner, and, as she shoots off
home mutter something about 1.-THE horrld
loafers;" wholly unconscious that her hat
is screwed around over her left ear, and
that two inches of fingers protrpde
through her soiled kids. Not until she
reaches her dear mamma does she sob
like a baby with wind collie.
a well -to-do New Hampshire farmer is
possessed with such wonderful good tenn
per that he was never known to give
way to fit of anger. A short time since
two rogulsh lads resolved "to get the old
man mad" Accordingly they took lit
| tie dog and followed him into the pasture
where he was going for his horse. The
| bows concealed themselves; and every
time the old man was near enough TO the
horse to bride him, they set on the dog,
and frightened him away. The process
was continued until the old man was ex-
,iausted, when he sat down on a stone,
and poured forth his wrath in the follow
ing words: "W-e-e-l, wish that little
dog would go away"
The transcript tells story OF Boston
minister, one who presides over large
and flourishing church at the South End,
and ''lends hand" in all good enterpris-
es. He was to preach in Providence,
spent the night before with friend in a
village some miles distant, and walked to
Providence on Sunday morning. On his
way feeling hungry, ne stopped at a
house by the wayside, rang the bell, and
asked the motherly- looking woman who
came to the door If he could have glass
of milk and slice of bread. "Well, )" she
answered, Il suppose you can, but it does
seem as though a biglstrong man like you
might earn bis living by work, and not
| beg for it.n He has been very consider
ate of tramps ever since.
| A pleasant little anecdote ofthe Crown
Prince of Germany is told by Mrs. Hop
per. It was at the beginning of the
Franco Prussian war that the King and
Prince passed through Hamburg on their
way to the field A young American girl
staying with her parents at one of the