The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1879-09-23
the SOUTH KENTUCKIAN.
ADVERTISING RATES.
From Green River.
A sNAKE STORY WHICH TAKES THE
CAKE.

Around on Third Street yesterday
group of disengaged statesmen
were occupied in discussing current
events. Une of the company WAS
"Uncle" Johnny ROyster, who lives
back OF Calhoun and registers his
aye at sixty-three. "Uncle Johnny"
is representative Keniuckian, six
feet high, erect as all Indian and as
young as his sons. lie works hard,
drinks well, loves game of cards,
bets prudently OH Kentucky "hoss"
and "by Gawd, sab" thinks that land
Of blood ana hospitality beats the
world for whisky, horses and wo-
men. The conversation turned on
the Courier's snake story. Several
expressed their astonishment at such
freak of nature.
"What WIZ the story?" asked Un-
Gle Johnny.
Somebody explained that it was
the story Of snake with the body Of
an alligator. the feet of a centipede
and the head ofa mule. swallowed
a negro boy.
"Thar's whisky behind that lie,"
said Uncle Johnny. "Thar's whisky
behind every lie about snakes and
fishes
"It'sa whopper' and no mistake"
said the Journal to Uncle johnny.
alt ain't such a-ofa whopper," he
answered. ut sounds like u green
hand OIL his first drunk. 1t ain
Aoihin' 10 one heard Squire Green
TELL"
"Tell us the 'Squire's," cried oil the
group.
"Well, Squire Green was Justice
up our way" he bega", land he could
hang whisky harder and longer than
anybody else iu the Green River Dee
strick. The Squire was authority on
snakes for he had 'em In all varieties
and he had 'cm bad. lie usod 10
stop trying case to ask tho plaintiff
or defendant TO take that gyarter
snake out Of his mouth before hc
went on tesiifying. And of course
the case was decided accordin. 1t
want no use TO put him off the bench
because they would a hat 10 support
him anyhow, and this way it wuz
something like lottery and every
man took chance agin chance.
well, as wuz SAYING Squire
Green wuz the lest liar l ever
know'd. lie live,l back Oil Lick
Crick, and he said he saw a snake in
the crick one morning with a head
like rhinoceros, body like bull,
with tail like catfish. 1t wuz
over twenty feet long, and had flip
pcrs under the for'ard shoulders like
n seal"
We'll, old Green said he set mig
ger boy 20 watch the snake and
started to the house for his gun. lie
hadn't got more than dozen yards
away when ho hears yell and runs
back. The nigger had took the snake
for hog and was worring it, when
the beast reaches for him, and swal-
lows him down head first"
~ run down." said Green and thar
the Niger wuz, his legs just a goin'
out of sight. thought thar wuz six
hundred dollars for id snakes
supper, but just as the ni9ger was
about goin' out Of sight thar come
chokin, and he stopped with his feet
slickin' jam in the snakes mouth.
His hoofs had turned out heel TO heel,
and the snake couldn't gorge 'eIn to
save hisself. II was awful to watch
the agonies of the snake and think Of
the nigger. Finally the snake
bumped hisself and histed his tail,
which he bent over, and by Gum.
tho first thing knowed he wuz tryin'
to ram tho boy down his throat with
the but end OF his tall
81 wouldn't a-believed It." said the
Squire, "cfI hadn't a-saw myself."
swell, I thinks, it's all up with tho
nigger. But ii wasn't. The next
thing l knowed, l see the nigger's
band a-slippin. Gut of the snakes
mouth above his feet, and the next
minute he grabbed the end OF the
Hsnake's tail, pulled hisself outen his
mouth and run like the devil was
after him."
| What became Of the suake, Unclo
Johnny ?" asked the Journal.
That's what l asked the Squire" !"
responded Mr.. Royster. "and he says
to me, Weilif yon aint the d---dst
fool ever see. Who keers for the
snake-thc niggur was the biggest
curiosity OF the two."
| And this snake story Is offered 10
show how fundamentally weak the
Courier is, even on snake storles.