The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1879-12-25
French Newspaper Wit.

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You should never give advice. II the
person 10 whom you offer it is wise he
don't need it; if he isn't he won't
take it.
War nowadays between civilized M
tions is absurd: people who make It
have not even the canuiha?s excuse OF
hunger or gluttony.
The six great powers of Earope are
England. France. Germany. Austria,
Russia and woman.
The American handbooks concern
ing the usages of good society aFe at
least equailed by "a Partisan manual OF
..sayoiryiyre" from which The following
passage is taken:
I'm good society people always fold
their notes or letters and fasten down
the flaps of envelopes with the nails OF
tho ingprs. Inquiries are frequently
made as 30 the reason why this should
be done. and why the tips of the fingers
wonld not answer as well. The expla>
nation is very simple. A letter siionld
be scrnpnIously neat ard the tips OF
the fingers arc generally dirty
In a suburban theatre they were,
playing a melodrama which-ilke any
melodrama that knows its business
ends With the hero running down and
capturing the villain, whom, disarmed
feeble and wounded, he overtakes IN a
lonely wood.
Unhappily the hero's pistol is out OF
order as to the lock, aud the bero can
not cock it so ms to take his long sought
and ardently sought revenge.
The william perceiyes what IS wrong;
the situation is becoming comic; with
great presence Of mini he snatches the
pistol from the hero's hands.
Courses upon ye ALL" he misses,
Hshall 1 owe my death to a beardless
boy that knowa not how to cock his
pistol? Neyerrr! Better, n Thousand times
better, to die by my own hand!
(Shoot himself amid the frantic
app,ause of the audience.)
Don es.ic economy:
Al excellent ~housekeeper, whose src-
cess in dressing on the small allowance
made her by her husband IS a mystery.
aud who always complains Of the fright
fully high price of everything. is set
Ting accounts with her green grocer.
She-I never had you send mo this
bnnch of asparagus mt six francs; it was
-fve-I rccollect it WAS only five.
He--I beg your pardon, madame;
You see, it wa qnite q long time ago and
perhps your memory
She (triumphautly) oh, l know 1t
was FIVE. See, here is the house "x
pense book I keep for my husband; he
is very particular abont his accounts.
zone bunch of asparagus, ten francs.
If it had baen, the price vo'1 say the en-
try would have been "One bunch OF
asparagus, twelve francs" Don't You
see?
A worthy cnre of Auvergne, than
there we're many cleveler If no better
men, having forgotten the exordiura OF
his sermon one fine day, could think o.
nothing better to begin with thar this
sentence: dearly beloved brethren, the
earth we live on is rouud-liks an egg,
and the,, he wandered all over creation
pronounced. the bensdiction and dis
missed them.
After the service the sexton told hin
he had made a blunder. Your rever
ence," he said, "preachea that tn
world is round like an egg. An eel
isn't round. it's oval. Yon should hav
said that the earth was round like
bullet"
Dear me, lear me-" said the worth.
clergyman. $50 I should. don't sup
pose n one was misled; still, to be o.
the safe side, I will correc: the mistak'
in my sermon next Sunday
Accordingly on the following Sunda
the good cure began: dearly believe
bretheren, owing to a provoking hetro
chemical inadvericnce, l SAID on Sun
day last, that this habitable globe o
which we dwell was round like an egg
That, dearly beloved bretheron, wa
where I fooled myself. An egg, as 20
may frequently have observed, is it nc
round but oval. What ment to sa,
and what I now say-and say it will
out fear of successful contradiction
this: The earth ia round like a-tf
earth is round like an-ahem! I'll
,t.h'-
Here the sexton, percejvipg that I'll
enre had lost his smile. coughed signif
cantly. and initiated the action
aiming and firing oif-a gun.
81 have It'll know it," said the o.
lighted cure. "Yes dearly beloved brett
ren, the world is ronnd-l'ke a b
gum