The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-01-08
Miscellaneous Items.

No bird is actually on the wing The
wings are on the bird.
take away wonen,'' asks a writer
''and what would follow2" We would
Give us some thing harder next time.
II Is said that joaquin Miller is getting
to be less Of sn ass than he used to be-
He has had his hair shingled and has
Iaken q bath ~. III.
At Memphis, the jury in the case o!
Joseph Bensteen, on trial for raping Aunie
Dugan, an orphan girl OF Is years of age, re.
turned verdict of guilty. The penalty i:
death ...a .~.e% G &A# ii
4 German having lost his only son, was
unable to account for the cause Of his
Death, as he was styoust so fat as butter,
and had such big feet Ezmira, N. Y.
-A@reTtEser @Ea IT
"'Doesa't Boston harbo- remind you of
the Bay Of Naplesa" asked an enthusi-
astic yachtman. "Yes," WAS the answer,
sat least in one respect. They are both
fuil of water .-...s
Bigoted. --''You bigoted niger said
Sam to Pete. BSqota1, what you mean by
9at2" asked Pete. why" replied Sam,
"65goted means you know too much for
one niger, and not huff for two"
Square umbrellas are reported as the
latest thing in Paris. That's nothing
We have been l.seing square umbrellas a
long time, al LEAST they are never round
which Wanted-RoHae Sentinel.
An inveterate wag, seeing heavy door
dearly Of its hinges, in which condition
ofneglect It had been for some time ob.
served, that when 1t had fallen ami killed
some one, it would probably be hung.
4 good character ish pretty much der
same to man ash g goot umbrella. Ven
larg CLOUDS threaten over his head, all
he ish got to dc vas to hold him up. and
Ger storm bases over, he is none der
worse.
One time lion met an elephant and
the elephant sed: ''You better so and get
your hair cut" But the lion se9: Bah! l
shant resent a feller's insult wich has got
his nose tween his own teeths. '--L5tt5e
1ohloDy.
Jones, the man vino was recently tarred
and feathered in Reno, CAL, spends most
of his time IN reading tbs hotel registers
in San Francisco. He carries two load
ed revolyers and will talk with nobody.
It is surmised that he is insane,
& sort Of a crazy Jack Cade was lately
before g London magistrate. He said he
was King Of his own right, and when
ne got his kingdom every gentleman that
was gentleman should have title, and
all the money should be divided SO that
all might share alike.
Mrs. Clarke defeated her shakespeare
,L~oH 4
words: TO Douglas Jerrold, the first wit
of the present age, these Proverbs of
Shakespeare, the first wit Of any age, are
inscribed by Mary Cowden Clarke. Of a
certain age and no wit at all"
ADO you mean to say, positively, mad.
am," said lawyer to witness, 'sthat the
person referred to never left bis native
village after the day Of his marriage2""I
do" Glow do you know he never did,"
"Beca1se I saw him buried in the vii
lage graveyard the same afternoon"
An inquisitive country gentleman thus
sccosted 8 boy who was tending pigs;
"Boy, whose pigs are those" '"fhe
soW's sir, was the prompt reply. "Well,
then, whose sow is it," Fathers" "Well
we'll, who is your father9' "If you will
mind the pigs, I will run home ana ask
ny mother"
at the funeral Of 3 once-famous actor
IN New York, some time ago, considera-
bic delay vas occasioned BY the fact that
the coffin would not fit in the sides
of the hearse. Another hearse was
brought, and a brother actor remarked,
''You might know this was poor BIS fun
eral. He was always late at rehearsal"
Before beginning the second pslam for
the day, Glasgow minister reached
down into his pocket and took pinch of
snuff. Even yet he cannot understand
what there WAS in the first verse Of the
psalm to make the congregation smile
when he read, my soul cleaveth to the
DUST
How much will you charge for DO
logna sausage that shall reach from one
Of my ears. TO the otheran asked soldier
In Berlin Of dealer. "Fifty kreutzers,"
was the reply. II take the Offer" replied
the soldier: zone Of my ears was cut off
in battle a thousand miles from here"
There was compronise.-Erchange.
4 ewly-wedded Pennsylvania couple
visited pittsburg, and for the first time
intheir lives saw and bought soma pea.
nuts. There, Mandyn exclaimed the
bridegroom, after few moments Of We
henent action. II knowed we'd be sold;
I've been suckin' that darned thing for
five minutes, and there amt bit of juice
In it. Come on, let's go.''
e. West Hill man painted ferocious
looking sign, Look out for the dog"
and put it up in his front yard to scare
away tranps. The next morning q
tramp with a bad smile, shoulders like
load Of hay, aclub with death smiling ont
OF every knot oft, raped at the front
door, demanded some hot biscuit, meat,
potatoes and 8 cup Of coffee, and asked,
pleasantly, "How is the dogS'
a Germantown bachelor, being twitted
by some ladies with his single state, and
asked why it was he had never married
said:
81 don't know exactly how il is, but I
have always felt an indisposition to mar
riage, I can't see why it should be,either.
surely don't inherit it, for my father and
mother were both married.
And he actually never saW.the bull he
q haH fod he Inarnye h,7rc+