The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1879-07-24
"a Graphing Mortgage"

Don't know what crapping mort
gage is To be sure you amt never
lived in the country, then" said an hon
est, hard working and thrifty farmer of
small means, who lives in an eastern
county, to one Of our lawyers, as eminent
for his bonhome as for his admirable
talents; "you lawyer aud don't know
what crapping mortgage is! Well, I'll
tell you.
II made one of them burned things
once; the way of ii was this: You see
went down to the store ut the forks of
the road in my neighborhood to buy
few articles that was needed at home, and
when got 'em in the cart to go home,
my friend, Sharpman-he Is the mer-
chant. you know, who keeps little store
down there--just little country store
Sharpman, he said to me, What is the
use Of bothering along with little things
of this sort7 Why don't you make
crapping mortgage, and then you can get
anything. yon want, and wont have 10
then you can pay it off with bale Of
at sounded mighty easy like, so l
signed one of the cussed things snd start
ed off home with my load. Well, sir,
them mortgages is curious things. l
hadn't morn got up the red hill going
home before commenced to think Of
what / needed, and the Internal thing
made me think Of things that must
have that l never had wanted before.
You see always had money on hand to
buy what me and the old woman wanted,
and had fought shy of debt all my life,
but all the neighbors was trying their
hands on crapping mortgages, and
thought I would 20 in for little, too.
Well, did. I kept on wanting things,
and | kept on getting things. We all
got along fine, and Shnrpman sold the
old woman lots Of nice things that we
never had wanted before, but that We
was bound to have after signed the
Graphing mortgage. They breed wants
they do.
"At last the crap came in. sent two
or three bales of cotton down to the
store to pay it off, as SLarpman said it
would do, but it didn't. 1 then sent
down all my fodder, but that didn't do
it.. talked the matter over with the
old woman, and she got up all the ducks,
chickens ana eggs, and ! sent down all
the corn that had made, and that didn't
do it; 30 I just got OH my horse and rode
down to the store to see about it. 1
looked at what we had bought, all figured
up, you know, and there was always what
You call q balance agin me. So i just
took out my pocket book that had had
the mortgage in 1t all the time, aud paid
oil the mortgage, and took the confound.
when I got there thought I'd read over
that paper that always managed to keep
balance agin me somehow or other, and
l done so. Well, new, what DO you
think was in that crapEi ing mortgage? l
hope the recordin' angel ain't listening,
but wish may be id If that 'ere lit
tie crapping mortgage weren't spread all
over my land. My horses, ms mules,
my stock, my farming utensils, my house.
hold and kitchen furniture, even the
dish-rag was flung into it. I always
thought that the things must have India
rubber in 'em, they stretched so, and
they ought to be called dinn-rag mort
cages, oughtn't they9 Well, let me tell
you, never sign ono. You never will get
through paying 1t, and when them store
fellows tell you how easy it is to get
things and pay for 'em in the fall, YOU
remember what I tsil you about crap
ping mortgage"
And having finished his description of
these little engines of oppression. he
pulled out his twist of homemade tobac-
Co.. that looked US rich and brown as
walnut wood, and cut OFF chew with
his horn-handle knife, put it into his
mouth. put tine knife and tobacco back
1910 his breeches. pocket and walked
away. he turned round after walking
little "ay, ard said, reaectively: "Don't
never you sigD one in the world if you
do, you will pever get through paying 1t