The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-01-03
Majors Troubles.

Majors Troubles.
Ny name is Major. Folks call me q
Newfoundland pup. Jack Brown is
my adopted papa. He is first-rate
fellow, and very kind to me. He never
tied tin pan on to the end of my tail
For this mark of forbearance feel very
grateful, as many of my friends have
been victimized in this manner, and
they have informed me confidentially
that it produces a very disagreeable SEN
sation. We live in the city, and during
the heated term was sent to the coun-
try for the benefit of my health, and to
visit Tom Green, who lived on nice
farm, where l observed Immediately
after my arrival there were plenty of
chickens and cats to chase. Jack babe
me good-by, patted me on the head,
shook my paw and said, Now Major,
be good dog, and you'll get lots of
bones" Oh, Jack is noble fellow
He never takes any mean advantage of
me just because L am dog, but always
puts me on equal terms with himself,
and somehow makes me feel as if / were
a gentleman. Tom took me round the
grounds, lust to see how l liked my
new quarters" he said. SO L wagged my
tail, which is the only way dogs have of
saying thank you,' and looked up in
his face. There 1 saw pair of bright
blue eyes that / felt sure belonged to a
merry-hearted, honest little boy, who
would protect me should circumstances
require it, / am sorry to say the occa-
sion presented itself at an early day. /
don't think Jack could have mentioned
to Tom a most unfortunate propensity
that have tried in vain to control. l
will chew up everything l can get my
teeth on. / have already demolished
for Mrs Brown three tablecloths, two
sheets, and shoes without number. But
/ prefer bonnets to anything else, and
circumstances provided feast in that
line, which covered me with disgrace.
One day nice-looking, respectable,
middle-aged lady arrived, whom they
called Miss Emily" Now she didn't like
dogs, and screamed whenever l came
near her, just as if L were a tiger. ready
to pounce upon her. L enjoy joke
very much. and says to myself: Miss
Emily, you may not fancy me, but L
shall have taste of that bonnet before
long" / succeeded in capturing it, and
carried it out under a large tree, where
for some time / enjoyed myself
hugely pulled it and ripped it until
there wasn't a bow nor a ribbon left.
Oh, what fun / had, but l felt little
snealing and uncomfortable when 1
heard her inquiring after it, and slipped
out of the way as quietly as possible.
Shortly after Mrs. Smith, with her five
daughters, arrived from the city with
beautiful new hats These also made
way with while the family were at break
/ fast. The cooks hat went next. After
| this my allowance of bones was cut, and
the broom savagely fourished at me if
! | attempted to enter the kitchen.
don't know why she should have felt so
about it, for her hat wasn't nearly so
nice as the elder Miss Smiths. / felt
disheartened and unhappy, rs dare say
a great many little boys have felt when
they have not been doing the right
thing, and so / went to the chicken
yard to reflect. There l heard con
versation between two old hens. well,
said one to the other, " I remember the
day so well; it was just after my nam
ma had been put in the pot tC
boil for soup. To think of any
of my ancestors being degraded
in that way! We had always formerly
been broiled on toast. However, 1 hope
the soup was good, for mamma never
yet undertook anything that she die
not succeed in. A few of us chickens
thought We would find out what becam,
of the eggs, for we each laid one ever,
day, and they all mysteriously disap
peared. SO one old rooster told III
(they called him Gen. Butler, though
we hens, of course, didn't know why
that it was because we cackled after al
egg was laid, and that if we didn't max,
any noise he would do all the GROWING
for us and make all the necessary fus
about it, and no one would ever suspec
him or know anything about it. w,
thought we would at least try the ex
pertinent, although on more than on,
occasion he had deceived us. First
laid my egg, and, as walked out of tn
nest on tiptoe, thought / should hav
burst with Importance. The effor
that it cost me to suppress
that cackle was dreadful. / thel
gave low chuck to one O
} the others, and she slipped quietly in :,
deposit her egg. Poor thingl As SIN
came out she was obliged to almos
choke herself with big worm to con
tain her feelings After we had all lai,