Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1879-12-12

scent putSSlnp Htr eNluenl 1nlcnIlOn
and with characteristic generosity, think
ing he would do her service, Pat ap
preached and said, 'Sthrip, marin, an,
bedad oi il kape watch for ye." The lad,
bathed not
nave boat too Nee Is he,
love hlln oar and more.
His sculliure i complete, ween.
| Ills home the lakelet shore.
never sigh for ruiIer loves
| His course TO me most true;
| And when he leaves me- on ny lips,
lie leaves beau trace, too.
-Sda Francisco CAroaic!e
The giraffe is singular animal. If
Romeo had been constructed on the
giraffe plan, the balcony scene would have
| been much more more interesting. He
would have been enabled to Snatch I'M
mortal blessings from her lips, without
| barking his shins i'll an Intellectual endea-
vor to climb up stone wall.-NOrris-
fnUH Hcraid
The income of Queen Victoria amounts
to two million dollars per annum, and her
heart beats warm for the Irish farmers
who are starving to death. .S,0t
Charley: What girl was that you had
in tow last evening"" Harry ton his dig
mtyD What you please to call in tow,
sir, is what people OF culture generally
| speak of as blonde tresses, sir Goes off
in huff
Colonel Williamson, II noted Texan
lawyer, stood mp in church and called ON
a young lady to come forward and marry
him. Since that event the Texas church
has been SO crowded with marriageable
females that man cant get standing
room inside unless he makes sure of be
ing on time by camping nj the door over
night.
David Roberts, the painter, once re-
celved from an acquaintance who had
published II very sharp criticism of one
OF his pictures, the following note My
Dear Roberts-I dare say you have seen
my critique on your picture | hope it
will make no difference in our friendship
Yours truly" etc, etc. To which the
artist wrote back: ''My Dear So-and-So
The next time that meet you | shall
pull your nose ; l hope that it will make
no difference in our friendship. Yrs, d"
etc, etc, etc,
Before the show window Of II picture
shop-First gamin to second Say,
Bill, come away; don't be lookin at them
pictures o bally dancers. or folks II take
yer for Harvard Freshman. ."-BoStDn
Post.
A ludicrous transposition occurred in
the makeup of couple OF telegraphic
items in the New Haven Journal and
Courier Monday, which produced the
following effect The first item read,
A large cast-iron wheel, revolving 900
times per minute, exploded i'll that city
ltar,lav oftar lopor opJ ,,aipful illpaca
Deceased WAS a prominent thirty
degree Mason" This was followed by
the second item, which read, "John Fad
den, the well known florist and real es-
tate broker Of Newport, Il. l., died i'll
Wardner n RusselTs sugar mill at Crys-
tai Lake, Ill, on Saturday, doing 3, 900
damage to the building, and injuring sew
eral workmen and Lorenzo Wilcox fatal
ly."
When 4 good man IN Nevada dies, his
friends say he has gone to prospect the
groupings. When man who has always
drank alone during life and was never
known to carry any extra cigars III his
pocket, passes on to the undiscovered
bourne, his townsmen remark that he will
have good chance to prospect the lower
levels.
Mamma What's the matter, darling?
lou don't seem pleased to see me !"
Precious Darling No, ! am not, mann
ma. find You have gone and engaged
yourself to lie married again without my
approval, when | Ind already promised
you to one of Gerty's unclcs.'
Ii used to he said ofthe Rev. DIR. \. =.
Peabody that he was so absent minded he
could 60 to party, get interested III con
versation, tie his legs up in n silk hand
kerchief, and when he started TO leave his
seat he would fall upon his face, having
forgotten to unite the handkerchief.
Upon one remarkable occasion he il said
to have broken up sewing g-circle by
calmly and unconsciously stuffing two
thirds of the white skirt of young lady's
dress INTO his coat pocket, under the i'm
preston that 1t was his own handkerchief
1t Is reported that a minister in Portland
rs so ahscnt-minded that the other evening
he turned down the gas in the pulpit
lamp, and then, not satisfied, blew out
the gas, and the sexton had to go to the
pulpit and turn OF the escaping gas.
Some fiend i'll human shape went INTO
the electric battery room i'll San Frau
cisco hotel the other day, and TUNED the
whole force of the As Bumpkoif cells on
the reverse way at once Instantly loud |
shrirks resounded through the corridors,
and III the next 10 minutes the walters
found over 60 guests hanging by their 7.
thumbs to the electric buttons in their .
rooms, capcring round like maniacs and
yelling for release. One old lndy was
drawn up IN such n knot that two doctors /.
haven't t,got her ilattened ont since
The Persian salulcs you with May /
God cool your eyes, the Cncogoau with |
Change yOur breath oncc?"
Curate Good morning, Curlry;
hope yuu are getting un better now
Artisan Yes. muster, thnnkee. | am
saving mp. turltr - am eiaI to hear
that How much have you saved -
Artisan Il have got penny, master, 7
aud an saving till gri another then
! am going to have Il pint.
II can't get com for greenbacks T.
yelled a stump orator, while denouncmg (
John Sherman. II know the renson,"
aid a small boy. why, asked the orator. I,
''B'kasc v, hrvnt got the Yreenbacks,
was the answer.
Some has lad luck iium the shtnri,
said Mr.. OConomara, "and sorra taste nv
anything else iver comes to EN-. WId 7
me, now, On wis born II twin the same AS /
m" brother, nnd We niver had but wan
birthday hetunc the two nv us, until he
doicl, long loifc tn him,
The man " l." nrroms ia the front Of
lhe Almanac sufficiently cut open To-
Justify The belief that he il II victim of
should wear Fall overcuat
If hr doesn't wish tn excite the ire of
Anthony comstock and Dr Howard
Crosby, the -nudr-art -femds. n. y.
cam. Idc.