, 1879-02-13
THE PlE.EATER.


nycs Htr: I'm the CHAMPION pic.catcr OF lite
United Suites. You've probably hearn tell of
me-"
"Sit down, Ms. -"
"Guzzlcr, STR. Csamptou Guzzlcr. Sir, Of
PoseY C.nnty."
Nlr. Guzzlcr accepted the proffcrcd chn!r, sat
Ills conc.shaped lat OH the loor at hts side, md
svappet legs TIT they !nterswtnet like the wiFeB
IN bridge cabIc. Tl,en be swung his heat i,alf-
wny rouud until ILLS mouth was OIL tleati-level
with the gratc, wl,e1I, after several sputterEnE
hpastns OF the muscles, he fired. Although 1t
was long range, the pie-eatcr evidently knew his
calibre. The clrain-shat struck the l'rc amid
ships, .ln,l the cloud III ashes alla steam which
ayoss reminded Que vi the effects Of bo.lO III
s.i,tl furt.
avon sec, Mister Editor. I thought as how
I'd stcu fl and tell you SONIC OF my experience
during tho two years Of my professional career.
You can print 1t In your n ewspapcr, II you Ike
don't keer,"
lIo tnrnvtl up the lapel Of his coat and OK
hhlted ba1gc.
"Dtye sec tllct, strangcrl"
"Yes," VIC vcn.ured. New style Of but
toni"
"Button! He'll. no. WHY, tllct's my badge.
Thet's my championship medal"
Then lle let fly SECOND shot at the CRATE, but,
| being less careful OF his bearing, It went Wide OF
the mark and pretty nearly shocked the fender
| scnsclcss.
"'rhcsc here fcllcss what walk SO manS miles
| In 80 u,anr dsHcc,ltiyc hours are NIL frauds.
Eyerybniy ought to be nnle 10 wAlk. TlIct only
ruaulrcs .egs and wind. But IL takes ll'an of
indnmitaplc character to cat pIe."
| "tinw did you first get into tho profession,
| Mr.. G1,zzlurih
"I.l teli yc, Mister, low That was. Ono lay
| cum III, hynr to the city nnd went into bakery
to get eoMrthnE to ent. WAS al.',Ica ,n n@nnGry, @
frcsn.bakcd pies. an !dear struck mt. axed
tin baker what he'd take to let me cat as tnany
Of them pics as l wnnted He ls'nkcd Il: mo nl
over, anu after taking my measure. ie said !
might have 4 cart bnuk commission for occn.s"
Mr. Guzz1cr paused tn sl.'tle l'tA Btr up tlle
ashcs ouec more III the Eratc.
~" took lin up, MID patd my ball il,t1ollar rather
rastlly. 1etl no sooner doug Il than regret
ted my rAshncss kndcr, nt"! differed l,'m a
dime to let tnu oif, AMI I'd ray fur what got.
But be said barEin 'sns hargin: Then rot
mad, and set to work, ncs!n1,l',' %tn @ 'in spselo
was on tl,c pint nf qsnrterlng pulnpkht
bcautY, when | become n'sarc that tug
baker was interested. When the third
ne iii. saI,l ac'd rive me back quarter u I'll
rpjl il square, told lin guessed not. Now
that l had got.my llahd III | r"ekoncd might
lust as well sec how , Tar could "a without
l
row and laid lem III pro',ltscuous like. There
were lust forty-twO plcs VI assorted variety nti
tint tablc, aud swnHlped 'ctl MI. II thc pics
hadn't given OFT gh1 1l n,n. av. 'o!.'''s @ ny &C.
lcss, uxcd him twtce before ho could answer
whether 'le knew Ut any tay"rn near by wt'erc
could gt square ,Mca!. liz sail Ee didn't, but
there WA Il rork-!1ousc cut ut the StOck-i ar'a.
An went out uf the tioor heard lI!m tell Ills
buy to go and bulld tho ''so up III thc oven
'tG;i tGazzlcr here knocltca the life out Of live
coal iu the gratc. Then ile continued nut otnne
clrncr Of hla mouth while hp Kent the othersl'!c
'rosetl, rs il afrala his qui'l might escape:
"Yus, SIR. We'll, hadn't got to i!'e cor1e1
when tlr halcr calu running mp, anu, SAID nc,
I've got an Idea. l thought no was going tosuy
he tlatl baked some 1lure pies; but no onl,
wanted to mnku deposition. !lo sud tilerr
was millions i'll it--tlu.t plan OF his: sl,ou!d
would furnish tlle mes II wou''l perform. mn
up nritrlrs Of pnrtnrrsIIfp:f
"Wrll" We suggested, Intensely interested
: as he lcsttalcl with rMGlll elst VI counten
lit didn't work. The ba1;er lost on the pics
ah ''rcw out ut The end ot tic sccoAd week sss'
"Peoplc didn't appreciate your taleutl" vi
"Yes 1i,ey did. though, That's what swatnpc'
us. II warn't ,I.e natural business hat COST In
thr ut,.rt,rus. You eco try insisted SO lnucl O
I NV repeatn an net tint hi nIcs piled M III;
, Thunder. Mny bc y.',, wouldn't bcltcye II, hu
: lyn bccn called ont atnre Tho curtin US tnany q
six ttl,es In Il Night"
lie Btut,le. 10 rtconno!tra i0r The el1crt Q
4 Ills statement. Fgvling nssnre1, he ndcii:
: "An' every time l'a'l to cal 'llotHcr easkc
:: ,,1.Atc, ,l,u show broke, MIR. aazzlcr' wtn'
''Why, lisr, went htn the chamMIon hls
i ncss. That w1s twu yaara al,u coluu l]eruralIo
Day. si.Iee slrn hev Ct ssvcuty.two matrl's'
u un' lost only iva of 'em."
r "l.u$t, .l!l YOUR
u "Yrs, air. Tin 'sl,aInrl to tell IL, hut 10:
y 'euh 'fwarcn't iair hnwoyer,-'t waren't b
6. lalr nea1ls: First time 'lad to knuck uni.
m fellsr WHO lau NJ ina iuta nf hot,ur about hln
"a u'' him M ha backcrs SGT 1t up Oh t1e."
~ ~ "WLy. ti,e slcrncd rascal bsbcsl tho coutsac.t
who furnished slr prs. Tlrv were to BE- ltes
IN nnplc pies. We'll, sIr, dye uuiluYo II, lhu appl,
~ III his pies had been coukcd and swellrl aim
10 they aets oakrd. sume way ur mother lht
ls succeeded 10 patt.t' IVY apPles Into the cru cru
il | The rest"
IL "Nut exactly" wo urged.
It "Wali. wi!tlo was e,'ssal!in' the stkth .
n hcgan to suak a.tl swulI into1nc. Then, Nlstr
y lind to cease 1uEthrr, operations atul tend
u. tls contract ! a'reu'ly bud .aken. Never HI
= dr!cu fruit swrliln' up M,rr my wastb.,d III
sSs, If, "a, a S'f tSSs II I'd svs to 1T cut open
~ "ko, didn't. After they had inflated
ID their full rupaclty, found had hreathln'rot,
Il. lett. but llIat was about nil. My heart VI
er pushed uwny to oue s!c, al.,l satl IL tlinmp VI
70, 10 duty III III ulr cnrneF for half n day.h
~ "Narrow rscaprt' we suggested.
Ia. "Sarruw rscapu! Wutl, should say 30. O
It's | nore " lAe'h A-u contlAeteu pAes Wou'u Ha
cA b,uwn my head right on my shoulders like
m. busltl OtIcr.t
Id ~ And Yuur sccot,l lcfrat)"
rr- Gun aGDut In tl.is rise. That was up
III ufant tut'atl. My component Rdn't try
.,s .irlrtl:Ap,ple dodge OH nle-nos much;