The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-02-05
Wit and Hulnor.

Wit and Humor. -
| Whoever saw cat nip tea2
Whoever heard oysters whoops
Kidnapping-Infancy in slumber. p
The feathered tribes-The Indians.
Bar silver-"Sample room' change.
Lorne is only a fiat Marquis after all.
The miners cry-Give us coal'd wealth
er. q
Satisfied at last-A contented shoemak-
er, ".%
How to rear mule-Tickle his hind
legs. W
Black lead-The followers of negro
guide. .:.." " .~o--.s. ."&s& .'.a.
Isn't lawyers personal attendant a
legal-tender2 ,ta
Neat's-foot soil-The mark left bv a
natty little boot. ,s~
The man who was ''close at hand" was
nigh witness. ape
A philosopher fell sick. and was ordered
to drink sage tea. ~
If you would have your clothes we'll
washed, wash them in we'll water.
! A mans food is bolted when his wife
locks the cupboard door against him.
The viceroy of India should remem-
Der the best laid plans Afghan agley.
Fat is not conducive to long life. A
fat hog rarely lives Though the winter.
The .violinist who "carries the house
by Storm" used a ram bow afterwards.
"Good chants for you, sonny" said
the man when he gave the boy hymn
book. ..f" -.
Did you ever hear a .hogshead speak,
If SO. what was it the hogshead q Tran
script. " - i.
''These are all ewes" remarked the
crockery dealer as he received crate of
pitchers. ssg~s. g,t - -.
There was, no doubt considerable
mourning when the sunb1rst, but where
did the daylighta 49,, ..:
An old tin kettle may never point a
moral, but it is pretty sure, sooner or
later, to adorn tale. r.
1t you want to know what new books
are out just 60 to circulating library
and try to borrow them.
A young man calls his girl, who has
promised to marry him, s'Silence," be-
cause she gives consent.
On account of the decided manner of
his spouse, Smythe says bis children are
covered by ma-shall law. ..
He couldn't raise the mortgage on his
building-lot; and so, poor man, without
becoming blind, he lost his site.
With powder on her face and bullet
buttons on her gown, the girl of the
period is dangerous character. ~.
If women are really angels, why don't
they fly over a fence instead making
such fearful awkward job of climbing9
The price of pork has so seriously de-
clined that, according to an Iowa paper,
no respectable pig can afford to take on
fat.
In Danbury clothing store is card
announcing. Perfectly fitting gar
ments; every article sets as good as a
hem"
Delays are dangerous in erything, ex-
cept marriage; the longer you delay that
the better you areoff.- Elnaira Gazette.
II am not particular" he remarked
when the tailor refused to trust him."
am not particular, but I can't be suited
here.", - .----. s5sa - ~.s
"Have you colognea" she asked. "No
ma'am," replied the druggist; 81 have
no scents at ALL" She said he didn't
look as though he had.
Tilden says now he can understand
how these cyphers came to be found on
him. He must have caught them while
riding in the street cars.
A tramp, who received blow from an
Amazonian widow, declared that, until
then, he had never realized the full sig
nifcance of the widows smite. =.
BE polite, sonny" said the bcarder to
an 1mpertinent youngster, "be polite, and,
when she offers you cup Of tea, don't
you take cup and sauce err . s..
Hogs are coming down. We saw two
occupying four seats each, coming down
on the Hamilton and Dayton road, the
other day, in car otherwise crowded.
| Accident insurance com panjes haveput
kings and emperors down in the fourth
class OF risks, along with engineers
orakemen, ti1emen, and book agents.
He said he rather guessed he knew how
to sail boat; but the gentle zephyrs thai
KISS the Wavelets over his watery grave
mournfully whisper. she luffed not wise.
ly."
a Kentuckey editorssayp neighbor Of
MS IS SO lazy that when he works in the
garden ne moves about SO slowly that the
: snaoe OF MS broad.brimmed hat kills the
plants.
wouldn't you rather lose seven dollar.
/ and a half than to 60 up stairs in tn.
dark and find the top stair one lower thar