The Van Buren press., 1879-01-07
THE UNIVERSAL BOY.
Three Chapters in His Life,
cHAprERI-"IT's A BOY"

CHATTER l. II 3 a BO1.
His advent is heralded in the brief but
strong sentence just quoted. No matter
what hopes have been INDUCED concern
ing girl babies, what list OF names SCUM
ded over to catch the most musical and
euphonious ones, there Is something IN
the pithy announcement. "lts boy,
which dispes oil fanciiul dreams and
SETS everybody on prose basis. His
very voice, as it utters q defiant war
whoop to the ground army of humanity,
tells the story to experienced years, The
visions of dainty girl darling very soon
vanish before this positive piece OF prose,
who kicks. his sturdy holes through the
delicate pink socks intended for his sis
ter and who grows fed as turkey cocks
esfaeqtaE Eb-. .sir0aTiHr time swben- he is
tage before callers He persists in an abb
uormal development Of nose and puth.
ness about the eyes, along with several
other little tricks known only to interes-
ted parties. Parents and nurses become
reconciled and accept him on trust, see
ing no other alternative. He emerges
from his puffy and rosy obstinacy to
roly poly wide.awake thing OF beauty
which is a joy fully one half of the time.
There is process from infancy to little
boyhood, q sweet time, when the man
child is half baby, half augel. In the
clear depths of his innocent eyes is
world of trust and hope and love. His
white brow is fair as freshly opened
lily, and his lips as sweet as hermosa ro-
Ses. He is most witcbing at this age, fer
the peculiarities which mark the enfant
terrible are yet undeveloped. He is an
armful of love and beauty and promise
and dread and hope. Love him while
yet there is no guile on the tender lips,
no sin in the uuwritten soul, no touch
of the worlds breath upon Gods hnish
ed work.
CHAPTER H.--"GIT UP OLD HoRsEY.'
"Mercy, what noise! Look at that
chair, with string tied on the arms and
made fast to the writing desk and flower
stand, all to be driven tandem by that
young imp in Kilt skirt and fancy hat and
shoes Who upset that work basket Z
and, good gracious what work has been
made with my wool and thread There's
the last Graphic torn to scraps and stuff
ed in the cuspadors with my screw-driver,
that lost week ago What is he do.
ing with the cat? and, dear me if he
hasn't thrown grandma's spectacles into
the grate"
where's Harry? Run to the kitchen
and see Al the eggs are broken in the
basket of folded clothes, and the milk
for pudding has been fed to the cat and
dog, Bridget Lannigan is in towering
rage and says: "Pbat's the use Of Shawn
to kape clane wild such a young divil
fornnst yer Mis- Frigidity Fussbunch
calls, and is horrided by being reqac sted
! 10 abe horse and let Harry ride strad-
die to Boston, She is questioned, also,
on many delicate points, and asked how
many little boys she has, and whether
she has seen his blue monkey that per
forms on yellow stick, and his "rooster
that crows if You just blow in behind. y
He gets very close to her and asks what
that white stuff on her face is, and what
makes her wear such a funny little hat.
A few years of this juvenile terror and
then appeared another stage of the boy.
Iie pelS icNtt obis opHSa'Su ~ h"'
bles II is useless to head of this phase !;
il it is shut off in one direction it breaks
out more violently in some other. 1t
goes through period of six or seven
years and costs much in anxiety, broken
window panes and mortified pride. He
is afflicted with rats. pigeons and other
boyish complaints, which are harmless,
but annoying He brings in six dirty
steel traps to amuse his sick sister, who
grows worse under it, and in his solici
tude he straps his legs fast to six feet Of
stiits and stonps TO enter the door Of her
room, the horror and dismay of his moth
er. He brings little notes home from
school, which he tries to explain in a
favorable light, but fails to convince his
parents that it was "only because Bill
Wilson dropped his slate on Abe lienuc-
gan's toes and made me laugh He
carves his awkward initials on old Mrs
Williams cellar door, and she threatens
his arrest lie goes to see 'Hnmpty
Dumpy" and CONES bone and throws