Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1879-05-28
Poor Richards Sayings.
WITH ANNoTATIoNS BY THE LORD Dun
DREARY.

A fellah once told me that another fell
ah wrote book before he was born-I
mean before the first fellah was born (of
the fellah who vote it must have
been born, else, how could he have ritten
it?)-that is long time ago-to pwove
that whole lot Of proverbs and things
that fellahs are in the habit of quoting
were all nonsense.
should vewy much like to get that
book. II think if | could get it at one of
those spherical al-no -globular-no, that's
not the word--circle observation-disclosures. that's
it-circMlntinG libwawies Il knew it was
something that went wound)-I think if
could Just bowow that book from circu-
lating libwawy, rd-yes, upon my word,
twy and wead it. A doothed
good sort of n book that, I'm sure. IL
always did hate proverbs. In the first
place, they-they're so howwibly confus-
ing-I-always mix 'em mp together,
somehow, when twy to wemember them.
And besides, if evewy fellah was to weg-
ulate his life by lot of proverbs, what
what Il beathly sort of II life he would
lead more uncomfortable set of max
thims you never wead. For instance,
there was EARLY to bed and early to rise
makes n fellah healthy, and wealthy, and
wise" | don't believe u word of that
I'll tell you why. To begin with
" healthy" When Sam and l were chill.
dren we were all packed off to bed about
eight or nine o'clock-just when a fellah
ought to be diping-and had to get up at
six or seven-qulte the middle of the night
yon kuow-and pway, did that keep us
healthy. On the conLwawy, we were al
ways getting meathles, or whoopino
cough, or vaccination, or some howwid
complaint or other. AS for mental i'm
pwovement, its not the slightest use in
that way, for twied it at Oxford, when
all the men of my time were sitting uL
weading for modewatons, with wet towel,
wound their heads, and dwinking gweer
tea-I-I-went to bed did-and wha
was the consequence | don't mind telling
yon now-but-I-I was plucked
And then about " WealMy" Look at
my bwother Sam. lie used to be ou
shooting Uewy early, I'm sure, when h,
was home-and you know he's not ovel
rich Just now. That weminds me-hc-
he bowwowcd u couple of ponies of IN,
Just before he left England, and-stwangt
to say-he's forgotten all about it since
Butt never could make Sam out. He
such doothid inconthequential fellah-
Sam is,
But there's one vewy nothenthical pwov
erb which says, :" A bird in the hand i
worth two in the bush" Th-the man VIII
invented that pwoverb must have been
b-born idiot. How the dooth can he t-tel
the wclative v-value of poultry in tina
pwomithcuous manner? Suppothe I've &c
II wobbin-wed-bwest in my hand Il near
had the other morning-but he flew away
confound him Dwell suppothe the tw
birds in the bush are b-bwace of part
widges- don't mean to tell m
that that wobbin-wed- would fetc
as much us bwace of partwidgesp Al
Murd! P-poor Wichard can't CANNON m
in That sort of way.
This eccentric old party then goes on I
say, that Those who live in glass house
shouldn't throw stones" Now, consider
ing what very small proportion of pei
pie occupy tenements of this description
| should have thought the best thing to sa
would have been, " Those who d don
live in glass houses shouldn't thro
stones" LIN sure it would have en-
bwaced gweater n-number of the cou
munity--p- particularly th-those lit
, b-blacke guards in the sweets, who ca
never even have been in a glass house
their lives, and yet are always sayin
, things about,-b.beathly balls that hit yo
and then webound back in mystewiol
, sort Of way into their hands-playing
, ttp-cat-a howwid kind of game,
which fellah strikes bit of wood ,
the ground that flies up into the mir, and
and-and if it doesn't hit you, he wins
) that is he gets it back again-and if-if
) docs hit you, you lose-that is, you 10
your temper-at least l know lido.
. Let me e-th-thcre's something abo
/ money that Poor Wichard says-oh, W
l member:-" If you would know the val
i of money, twy to bowwoy some"
e Jove! ycs-he.he $ wite therc-hes wite
t last, Poor Wichard is. Qf he'd been WI
t Wichard he wouldn't have hit that off
well) Yes if you would know the val
of money, twy to bowwow some. We,
twue-and I'll tell you another thin
when you've found out how valuable it
S ha ha never lend ii. Th-that's my ms
e thin. You see Pm th-thinking of bwoth
c Sam and th-those unfortunate " ponie.
o | d-don't suppothe l shall see them.
S-Sam, again for long time,