Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1879-12-10
THE McnrNIxc-RoD DISPENSER,


nv Will. N. CARLETON.
II the weary world Is willing. I've little word I,
say
Ola lightning rod dispenser that dropped dOwr
on me one day.
With a poem 10 his motions, with sermon In BIZ
mien,
With bands a. white as lillies, and face uneom
mon clean. iA"
No wrinkle had his vestments. and his llnes
glistened white,
And bis new constructed neck tie was 10 interest
ing sight
Which almost wish his razor had composed a
hangmans knot
Ere he brought his sleek. stunned carcass for my
women folks to see.
And his rip-ssw tongue bulzin' for to gouge
cash In me,
But I couldn, help hut like him-as Away
The gold ofmy own doctrines in a fellow heap o
dust;
When fred my opinions at this person round BY
round,
They drew an answering volley Of very similal
sound
l touched him on religion, and the hopes my bear
had known;
He said he had had experiences quite similar ,S
my own.
tod bin Of the doubtin's that made dark my
early years;
iis bad laid awake till morning with that SAINT
breed Of fears. "
| told Of my rough path, hoped to heaven to 70
He was on that very ladder, only just round
told him Of my visions Of the sinfulness Of gain
He had seen the self-same pietutes though not
quite so clear and plain
Our politics were dihereat, and at first he CALLED
and WINGED
But aIg'ed MIN 50 able, be was very soon con.
yinced
An twas gettin' toward the middle Of hungry
Summer day
There wns dinner on the table, and asked him
would he st'yP
And he sat him down amongst us, everlastin
trim and neat,
And asked short, crisp blessing, almost good
enough to oat
Then be fred up on the merciss Of our Greai
Eternal Friend,
And gave the Lord Aim ighty frst-class recon
mctdj
Aud for full an hour we listened to the sugar
coated scamp,
Talking like blessed angel--esting like blasted
tramp.
Ny wife she liked the stranger smiling on him
warm and sweet;
Ut always fatters a woman when her guests ar,
on the eat.
And he hinttd that some ladies never lose theii
early charms
And he kissed her latest baby and received It Ia
his arms.
My sons and daughters liked him, for be had
progressive views, "a
And he chswed The quld of fancy and gave down
the latest news;
And couldn't h'lP but like him, as fear
always must
The gold OF my own doctrines IN fellow heap oil
dust
He was ipr,ading desolation through piece Of
appls-pie,
When he paused and looked upon US with tear
in his far.oif eye.
AOd said 90, happy family l-yOur blessings
You call to mind the dear ones that in happier
days had
A wife as sweet as this one babe as bright and
fair;
little girl with ringets, like that one over there
| worshipped them too blindly my eyes with
love were dim
God took them TO his own heart and peS | wor
ship Him.
But had not neglected the means within my way
Then they might still be living and loving mt
to-day.
"one night there cams tempest, the thunder
peas were dire;
The clouds that tramPed above us, were shooting
In my own house, ], lying, wac, thinking to my
How htle had guarded against those shafts OF
flame,
When crash Through roof and ceiling the deadly
lightning cleft
And killed my wife and children, and only was
left.
"since that dread time I've wandered, and narghi
for life have cared.
Save to save others loved ones, whose lives hay,
yet been spared.
Since then 1t is my mission, where'er by sorrow
tossed,
To sell to viriuous people good lightning rods al
cost
With sure and strong protection, I'll clothe your
buildings o'er,--
Twill cost you hfty dollars (perhaps trine mors,
What little e lit comes to, at lowest price m put
You signing this agreement, to pay so much pei
fOot.")
I signed II, while my family all approving stood
And droppeds Gear upon it--(but II didn't bot Il
out
That very day, with wagons, came some men both
great and small
They climbed upon my buildings. as II they owned
'em all
They hacked 'ern, and they hcwed 'em, much
agsin,, my loud desiresj
They trimmed 'om up with gewgaws, and they
bound EN- down with wires
They trimmed EN- and thev wired 'em, and they
trimmed and wired em still,
And every precious minute kept running up the
bin.
My soit-spoke guest a-seeking, did rave and
rush and run
lie wa. suPpins with ueishbor, jus, three
mile further on
"Do you think" hercsly shouted, chat want a
mile O. wire IflH
To save each separate hay cock out o heavens
eonsumn' FIRE
Do you think, to keep my buildin's safe from some
Uncertain harm,
I'm gOin' 70 deed you over all the balance Of my
iarmr
He looked up quite asiOnished, with face devoid
Of guile,
And he pointed to the contract with a reassuripg
smile
II was the fret oecasion that be disagreed with
met
But he held me to that paper with frmness sad
TO see
Aud for that story, ere the rascal finally
went,
paid two hundred dolIars, n paid single cont
And oow ifsny lightning -rodder wants dinner
dialogue
With restaurant department Of an entsrprisiug
dog.
lie, him se, his mill a.rupnin' just inside my out
side gate,