The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1879-05-14
The Party at Mr.. Wigglesworth's.

There was a social gathering at the
residence of Mr.. Wigglesworth, on MID,
die street, one evening last week, and
among others who were present was 4
Young man from Belfast, with a forehead
of marvelously developed bumps, cut
away-coat, delicate tenor voice and
brilliant red necktie. AS the gathering
was purely of asocial character, the COM
pany sat around the room on chairs,
stared vacantly at the pictures, pored
aimlessly through the family albums
without any backs, twisted their fingers,
and thought up mean things about each
Others clothes. Finally, during the con-
tinued lull in the conversation, the young
man from Belfast cleared his throat,
pulled his cuffs down so they would show,
and said, for the edification of the COM
pany: '. -,
"Why does dog always sneeze three
times ?"
1t was a heroic act thus to break the
awful silence, and the young man actu-
ally turned pale as he realized his teme-
rity, but the company eagerly grasped the
rope thus thrown to their assistance.
"What kind Of a doge" inquired q
pretty girl in garnet silk. ....
"Oh, any kind" explained the young
man. ....
"Is it because he can't help it?" OBJ
served smart young dry goods clerk
with tail collar and weak smile, who
was a little Jealous of the sudden eleva-
ton into notoriety ofthe young man from
Belfast.
The pretty girl in the garnet silk
laughed at this. but the owner of the con-
undrum only frowned severely. .-... p
Because" said philosophical-look-
ing man in white vest, "because it is
owing to the prolongation of the subtle
influences set in operation nconsequentup-
on the irritation of the inner membrane
of the CANNES proboscis.
The company gasped as the question
began to take on such serious aspect,
but the young man from Belfast checked
their fears by q negative shake OF his
head. The philosophic man gave little
snort of anger at the reception Of his
theory, and relapsed into moody silence,
while fat woman with gray hair and
jet-black switch remarked: 's..> ..'
my husband had dog once that was
the funniest thing. He used to, wear q
night-cap to bed-that is, my husband
did-ard one night when he was laid up
with sore paw-that is, the dog-lc
forgot to put it on-my husband forgot
to put his night-cap. on-and he chewed
it up-the dog did-and my husband
jumped out of bed and found it so twisted
around his feet-found the night cap
twisted-that l had to hold his hind legs
while he cut it off with his knife"
"Held whose hind legs-the dog's?n
anxiously inquired q ministerial-appear-
ing man behind the stove. ...
"Of course, sir" frigidly replied the
fat woman.
"But what has that to DO with this
question?n' mildly inquired meek little
woman in cork-screw curls.
Nothing" responded the fat woman,
"only he was such a funny little brute
the dog, mean" .. -
Just at this moment q young man by
the door, who had been thinking so hard
that he started u button on the back OF
his coat, burst out with: '1"..
Because It is the sneeziest thing to
don -.. 81 .
At this atrocious act the fat woman
almost tainted, and the frowns of the
whole company so abashed the unfortu-
Siide ilO OIL oiih ottV vi
sight behind the door. :" I'd. ''''
"And why" finally said Mr.. Wiggles-
worth, as the silence became painful,
"why does 4 dog always sneeze three
times?" ~.
The company held their breath for the
answer ....
"He doesn't" replied the young man
from Belfast, very softly.
"Eh" exclaimed Mr.. Wigglcsworth,
in condensed amazenent, while the COM
pany resolved itself into an allegory Of
G tri fed astonishment. .........
"He doesn't" repeated the young man
from Belfast, in the same soft wee,
he toyed with the bumps on his fore
head. .,..
And then it seemed as if a sort of gloom
settled down upon the company, and
after the refreshments had been served,
the young man from Belfast, noticing
that the weather had grown suddenly
very cool, went home. And of all that
throng there was none who bade him
good night. No, not one. - Rockland
Courier. ~.