The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1879-12-11
Brother Gardeners Lime-kiin Club.

/ DrOIneT UdruHer Dlilesklin SluUs
The glee-club had been given the
hint, and as soon as the triangle, had
sounded and the meeting declared open,
they sang:
De house fly he am seen no mo-,
De skeeters mighty dead;
De humble bee, OH whar am he?
Oh! whar's de hornet fled?
Soft butter it hez hardened up,
An talleTs on de brace;
! AM folks kin make q buckwheat cake
To look aefn in de face.
Wild pork an taters in de house,
An wood behind de doah, 1901
De winter drear dis club can't skeer,
Wild all its windy roar
Brother Gardner bowed his acknowl-
| edoments with Senatorial dignity, and
then advanced and said
"a was axed de edder day what dis
club didn't believe in, an de queshun
was one deservin' of thought an re-
! fekshun Speakin1 on behalf, of all
dose present and missin', think l kin
say:
al. 1t doan' believe in hangin' clothes
down cellar to dry.
"2. 1t doan believe in putin ten
dollar boss in frOnt-of a fifty-dollar
wagin.
IS. 1t doan' believe dat talkin' poly
ticks will buy Goldfish, or dat disputin'
on rergun will darn socks.
"a. 1t doan' believe dat a cigar in de
mouf an holes in de butes help man to
git job.
as. 1t doan' believe in payin' cash
down for penny whistles an runnin' in
debt for grindstones. & d
sc. 1t doan' believe dat de world.
owes any man what he doan' work fur
an put in full time at.
81. 1t doan' believe in singin' frew its
nose when its mouf hez muffin else to do
but to sing" yl
VENTILATION"
At this point the Reception Commit
tee dOnned their vestments and pro-
ceeded to the ante-rOom and brought in
the Hon. Hascoe Billings of Maryland,
Familiarity known in that State as Cor
ator No. A. After his introduction he
announced that he would speak for
few minutes on the subject of ventila-
ton, and began:
"De subieck o ventilation am one
dat earnestly consarns all folks who live
by breathin', an we neglect it at our
peril. De out doors am ventilated
enough, but inside de houses of de land
turks a fiend known as : foul air. He
gets in dar by varus means, an he mus
be put out or sickness results. Open
doah an what do YOU feel?"
Il feel cold!" solemnly replied
Pickles Smith, as the speaker paused
a club was laid up for him, and the
orator continued:
"You feels rush o. pure air. 1t
sweeps in, cotches de foul air by de
froat, frows him on his back, an de
lungs expand wild pleasure agin. Two
cullud pussons an dog, sleepin' in an
ordinary bedroom, pizen de at
mosphere at de rate of bar'l am hour.
If dar' was no chance fur fresh air to
circulate-aroun' de room de man would
wake up wild red eyes an a backache,
de woman would git out o. bed an kick
de chairs aroun', an de dog would SLOUGH
arOun' de back yard widout courage to
tackle a bone Nebber shut out de |
fresh air, my frens. Sleepin'. =. wild de
feet Ober de foot-board can't compared
wild inhalin'-tle- 4EeeAy eeel siF,-madG of
de best materials, warranted not to rust,
an giben away-to all
"0IAKE HOME HAPPY
Col. Elderbe1y SOuthdown. of Texas
was next introduced to the club. He
said he had only a few minutes to spare,
having agreed to be al certain spot at
a certain hour to buy dog of resi-
dent, yet he felt like saying something
on the subject of making home happy.
" How many unhappy homes is dar in
dis kentry?'' he inquired after taking a
drink of water - Oar is millions an
hundreds an dozens, an why? IlnoW 4.
husbands who come home wild a smile |
on de face an kindness in de heart. Dey |
whistle to de children, speak kind |
word to de ole woman, saw up a fence |
rail for wood and eat what am placed |
before dem widout grumblin'. know
odders who slam de gate, bust in de
doah, kickde dog under de bed, bounce |
the chill'en aroun',. cnss de. stove, jaw |
de ole woman, an upset de table |
kase dey hewitt got fried oysters for
supper Ebery man orter consider dat |
his wife hez feelins an dat his chill'en |
an human, an dat his dog am not to
Dldllit luE Deln III us NOIIu- DOdu
be afraid to slap yo'wife on de-back an
call her old gal. Dey likes it. Glib de I
chill'en a show. If We want de dog to
90 under de bed outer de way, speak |
kindly to him and reason wild him. Wild
desc few exhilerations Il will now en-
compass my time and deviate to all of
you happy and previous career"
-, ..t.a- TIE CLOSE. -
The hour for closing having arrived.
the triangle was sounded and the whole
club joined in singing:
lie got my arctic Overshoes-
lie all prepared to go. |