davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1879-07-22
PARIS NEWSPAPER WIT.

IHTrf8 hV Ysf1 ForG WtY3H
nRash. ttnfu, ,nan'u satd ,,nbraidinrlv tbc
o...,eIn 49,. e".u n." "p. ..n., .s s.s
e"apa'n 70 sne prisoner: "suoFoso you "cse
70 uie now, what sort OF consc'oncc would
good a. nav: I never uscd It btt,n said the
,,r,.c,c, ,,rona,r
"..'"'' l"ou''t' .-........-
Mine. dc F.. who babblcs. babbles MS she goes,
has had her portrait painted by fashionable
or,iat. "verv .ucrcs.fri, ,,nn,t vo,, ,hlnt: y,
.'''' VIZ ,'.' '"ve "a,.,n'. ~ ,u. .aah ),
, 1879-07-22

sAHcAhrtc.--A man passing through rateuoy
In tho dark run agasnsl tue post. ~ visit thss
latt waa IN the lower rcstena!" was hs remark
. Deter Wish 1t VIA somewhere e'rc," suid by.
standcT. - iHu might run against II again, " Tim
ons WIN 1res shuto1la janlsica Glugar t',a4 .nvt
fear ~ try II uSpiu.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24
She was Afraid.

A man was once walking along one
road, and woman along another. The
two roads finally united and man and
woman, reaching the junction at the
same fine, walked on together. The
man was carrying a large iron kettle Oh
his back2 in one hand he held by the
leg live chicken, in the other cane
and he was leading goat. Just as they
were coming to a deep, dark raYine, the
woman said to the man: 81 am afraid tC
20 through that ravine with you; tbs a
lonely place, and you might overpover
me and kiss me by force" ''f You re
afraid of that" said the man, "you
shouldn't have walked with me at all
how can I possibly oYerpower you and
kiss you by force when have this great
iron kettle on my back, a cane in one
hand and a live chicken in the other,
aud am leading goat I might as. well
be tied hand and foot"
"Yes," replied the woman ''but if you
should stick your cane in the ground and
tie your goat to it, and turn the kettle
bottom side up and put the chicken into
it, then, you might wickedly kiss me in
spite of my resistance" Success to thy
ingenuity, o woman !" said the rejoicing
man to himself; Il should have never
thought of such an expedient."
And when they came to the ravine
he stuck his cane in the eground, and tied
the goat to it, gave the chicken to the
woman, saying: 81 BID it while cut
some grass for the goat," and then lower
ing the kettle from his shoulder, inn
prisoned the chicken under it, and wick
edly kissed the woman. as she was
afraid he would.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24
0nTr OneeI

A great king, desiring to teach ms son
a urscticaI lesson, ordered long table
10 be prepared in one of the galleries OF
his nalace. set out with all manner OF
fovs. fruits and other things which he
Thought would please the little boy.
Taking him to door at one end of the
room, he said to him, my son, pass
down this hall, and whatever you are
pleased with, you may take for your
own. on one condition-yOU are not to
turn back. When you have gone the
whole length of the table, and have
made your decision, go out at the other
door, and bring me what you have
chosen"
Joyfully the little boy started, en-
chanted with the prospect; he ate and
drank, and gathered his hands and his
arms full of treasures, and presently
tiring of what he had, he threw them
away to make room for some glitterine
tov which attracted him farther on but
which. when secured, somehow did not
please nor satisfy him asmuch as he had
expected, and he was constantly looking
back regretfully to that which he had
left behind, or he saw something still
farther on which he thought more de-
sirabIe. Now, instead of being happy In
having his choice of all these good
things, the little boy grew irritable and
dissatisfied. At length he appeared
before the king with a sorrowful counte-
nance, and in his hands were few
broken toys.
is this all, my son, that you have
.J-ought me out of the infinite variety
from which you had to choose P
'sYes, father" sobbed the weeping boy,
"that which pleased me at first seemed
so Door and inferior, when had them,
to that which I saw further on, that L
could not be content, and always hoping
to secure something to please me better,
I could not make my choice, and now
these are all 1 have. Oh, if I might go
back once moreF
eNot so, my son" said the king, that
cannot be; but let this lesson sink deep
in your heart. As you 60 through life,
enjoy each day all there is in it Of pleas
ure and happiness. Do not look back
with vain regrets, nor live in anticipa-
ton of future joys, oblvious of those
which are within your reach. Let each
day bring its measure of comfort and
cheer. The present is all that you are
ever sure of; by wisely improving II
your memories of the past win be pleas
ant, and your future happiness will be
assured"
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24
A New Elastic Gum.

A rival to India-rubber and gutta-
percha has been found in a new elastic
gum which has been named Balata.
This is the milky sap Of the bully-tree
that hourishes on the banks of the ORR
noJC and the Amazon in South Lmerica.
The operation Of winning the gum is sim
liar in every respect to that employed
with caoutchouc and gutta-percha. It
resembles gutta-percha so closely in its
general properties that much of it is
shipped from Guiana and sold yearly for
gutta- -percha, although it hasm points
Of superiority. 1t is tasteless, ,es an
agreeable odor on being warmed, may be
cut ike gutta-percha, is tough and
leathcry, Is remarkably flexible and far
more elastic than gutta-percha. It be-
comes SOFT. and may be joined piece to
piece, like gutta-percha, at about 120 de-
grees Fahrenheit, but requires $50 de-
grees Fahrenheit before melting (higher
than gutta-percha). It is completely
soluble in benzOle and carbon bisulphide
in the cold. Turpentine dissolves it with
the application of heat, while it is only
partially soluble in anhydrous alcohol
and ether 1t becomes strongly electri-
fed by friction, and is a better insulator
of heat and electricity than gatta-percha,
on which account it may find considera-
bic application for electrical and tele-
graphic uses. Caustic alkalies and con-
eentrated sulphuric and nitric acids do
not attack 1t; but concentrated sulphu-
ric and nitric acids attack it as thew do
gutta-percha, which it closely resembles
in an other properties.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24
The Romance of Death.

It is not a little singular that the
Greeks have scarcely ever failed to make
the deaths of their literary heroes as
marvellous as their lives. Homer, they
tell us, died of broken heart, because
he could not guess a riddle. As Horace
had been warned by witch that chat
terbox would be his death, so had Ho-
mer been warned by an oracle that he
would be killed by riddle. And his
day came. Seeing, or rather hearing
for the tradition of his blindness is too
universal to be discredited-some young
fishermen in a boat, he unfortunately
asked them what sport they had had.
They replied: "As many as we caught
we left; as many as we could not catch
we carried with u.s."
This was too much for the author of
the Had. He guessed and guessed, till
he could guess no longer, and finally
died of sheer vexation. According to
Gregory Nazianzen, Justin Martyr, and
Eustathius, Aristotle went off in precisely
the same way, because he could not un-
derstand a more interesting riddle set
by nature, namely, the cause of the
ebbing and flowing of the Euripus.
'Since," he Indignantly exclaimed, 81
can not conceive the Euripus, let the
Euripus receive me-" Dlodorous, the
ingenious inventor of the "horneP and
'veiled" sophism, having met with his
match in one Stlpo, who Caught" him
with another sophism, which he was
unable to solve, went home, wrote a
book about it, and died of despair.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24
Wedding Stationery.

We are prepared to receive or
ders for all kinds of Engraved
Wedding Invitations, Visiting
Cards, MOnOgrams, etc. This
work will be done in the finest
style of the art, and the prices for
the same are very low.
Samples of the latest styles of
Stationery, on hand.
JAMES REED & SON,
Ashtabula
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24
Loi the Poor indian.

Lol the poor Indian When he goes
home to his cheerless wigwam in the
evening he has 40 dime novel with
which to while away the weary hours /;
no friend next door to come in and talk
politics; no medical almanacs to read;
no New York papers with full proceed
ings Of the racy Vanderbilt will case; no
money in a safe for masked robbers to
break in and steal-no civilized pleas
ures Of this kind. He simply hangs up
the bloody scalps he has captured during
the day, beats his squaw with a club,
wraps. a buffalo robe around him and
lays down to pleasant dreams. If a
pale face comes within half a mile of
his wigwam, the slumbering red man
Enutis him afar awakes, and goes out
and shoots MN full of arrows.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24
LINlMENTS

not only relieve pain, but they incite
healthy action, subdue inflammation,
and cure, whether the symptoms prOesed
from wounds Of the aesh, or Neuralgia Of
the Mervosi from contracted Cords or a
sca1dod hand from sprained ankle
or a Eashsd foot; whether from disgusting
PIlEPLES on a LADY'S FACE
or strained joint on Horses Leg.
The ags1y produced By Burn or Scald;
aOrtfaeaSion from Frost bites; Swell
izra from Strains; the tortures Of Rheu-
uaHsR; Crippled for life, BY some
neglected accident; q valuable horse or
Dostas's Hi may all be saved from
One Bottle Of Csntaur Liniment.
No HOusekeepeF, Farmer, Planter, Teamster,
or LiVeryman. can aROEd to be without
these uBsnAsEfuI Liniments. They can
be procured in any part OF the globe for
80 cts. and sI.OO bottle. Trial bottles
S5 OTIS.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24
Swallowing
OISON

EDurts Of disgusting mucous from
the nostrils or upon the tOnsils, Watery Eyes,
GauHea, Buzzing in the Ears, Deafness,
CrsckliDF sensations 10 the Head, InJermit-
tent Pains over the Eyes. Fetid Breath,
Nasal Twsng, Scabs in the Nostrils, and Tick
ling in the Throat are
SIGNS Of CATARRH.
No other such Ioathsome, treaeherous
Hnd undermining malady curses mankind.
One-hfth Of our Children die Of diseases
generated by its Infectious POISON, and
one-fourth Of living men and women drag out
miserable existenees from the same cause.
WhiIo asleep, tho Impurities in the
nostrils are necessarily swallowed into
eEe stomach and inhaled into the
lungs to poison every part of the system.
DR.. Wei De Meyers CaSarrh Cure
absorbs the purulent virus and kills the
sesda Of poison in the farthest parts of
the system. It viii not only relieve, but
certainly cuFe Catarrh at any stage.
It is the only remedy which in our judg-
nent, has ever yet really cuFed case Of
CkrsHio Catarrh.
Cured CuredI Cured Curedl
IL. II. EEEEBLEE. ETOp. " Neb Elltl iA1aAfls Lung
Branch Cured Of 20 years Chronic CataTrh.
{. BEEEDIcT, JR., Jeweler, G97 Broadway, n Y.
,nemb. OF fanny Cured Of Chronic Catarrh.
E g. BRoE7f. $50 Canal St., n. Z, Cured Of Il
years Chronic Catarrh.
]. D. EcDoSALD, 10 Brosdwsy, n. 7 Sister
in-LET) Cured Of 90 years Chronic Catarrh.
5lrs. J0EN DoUeHTy, Fishkil, n. Y, Cured Of
ycsrs Chronic Catarrh.
Mrs. JAcoB SWARTz 'JR., 200 Warren St, Jersey
City, Cured Of IS years Chronic Catarrh.
A. B. THoRx, 1s8 Montague St., Brooklyn, (self
and som Cured Of Catarrh.
Rev. VIZ ANDERSON, Fordham, \. Y, Cured Of
20 years Chronic Catarrh.
NILE AIaEE, Opera Prima Donns, 1" have re-
ceived very great benefit from II. -
A. Mckinney, R. R. Pres, 80 Brosa St, Y +:
Ny family experienced Immediate relief
&C, &C., &C., &C., &C., &C.
Wei De Meyers Catarrh Cure is
the most important medical discovery
since vaccination. 1t Is sold BY all Drug
sists, or delivered by D. B. DEWEY & Co.,
IS Dey St.. N z, at $50 package. To
clubs. six packages for $3.50. DR.. Wei
De Meyers Treatise is sent 2Fee to
aaybody.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24

FREE GIFT! w5o no .uiar AFT with
RHEUMATISW. PARALYSGS, NEU-
RALGIAs sNERVOGSa and SEXUAL l. DE-
BILITE, General HI Health, wasting
Decay, Urinary Diseases, spinal Dis
eases, Dyspepsia, Etc., Ete.s tn whom
will he sent my Book on Medical Electricity, and
Electro Galvanie BELTS, world renowned for their
success IN saving many valuable lives, by CUR
ING All CHRONIC DISEASES send
SYMPTOMS and stamp for Diagnosis to 6ll60l
DIR. G.. w. Forbes,
ia w. Fourth ST., Cincinnati, o.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24

mn0 A WEEK in your own town, and no
capital risked. You can give the
Nh business trial without expense The
best opportunity ever offered for those
HIHH willing to work. You snOuld try for
WV yourself what you can do at the bust
ness we offer. No room to explain here. You
can devote all your time or only your spare
time to the business, and make great pay for ev-
cry hour that you work. Women make as much
Us men. Send for special private terms and par
ticulars. which we mail free, s. Ontft free Don't
complain of hard times while You have such a
chance Address Il. HALLETT s. CO., Port
land, Maine. 1534-SS
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24

ANIMALS ANIMALS
AGES A''ALssiON FOR FIRsT AFTER FIRST
FOUR YEARS. FOUR YEARS.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24
Flowers, Beautiful Flowers
Plants and Vegetables!


have the best stock of Green House and Bed
ding Plants have ever before had, whether con-
sidered as to variety, quantity, or quality. My
stock of Fuchsias and Geraniums is very large
and of great variety, and especially fine plants
OF Foliage and Basket Plants, have an excel
lent stock to select from, embracing BegOnias,
COlius- Achyranthus, Centaureas DUSTY Miller)
in variety. Ny Pansies, Vcrbenas, HeiiotrOpe.
Cuphea, PLEAS, Salvias, Ivies, Roses, BycOpO-
diums, Feverfew, Cinararia, Petuias, Double
and Single) BulbOus Plants, such as Uahlias,
GlsdiOlus, Caucea, Calladium, TTberOses-all of
them very fine. furnish Fruit and Orna-
mental Trees. Hedge Plants, Blooming and FO-
liage Shrubs, strawberry Plants in variety, Rasp-
berry Plants, Asparagus and Pie-Plant Roots, all
kinds of Vegetable Plants in then season, and
many kinds Of Animal Blooming Plants-all of
which offer at prices considerably below those
given in the numerous catalogues 1 am con-
stantly receiving.
1 shall be prepared to furnish Cut Flowers
and Floral Emblems at short notice and on sat
lsfactOry terms also early and seasOra bic Vege-
tables and Small Fruits, in small or large guam
titles.
Flower Pots of four sizes, ~, 3, 3K and
inch at 20c, soc, 40c and SOC per dozen.
Correspondence solicited. and a cordial and
earnest invitation given to all, in want of any
thing in my line, to see my stock and get my
prices before purchasing.
Ny Green House and grounds are on Main
street, Ashtabula, near the Franklin Division Of
the L. S. & NJ. S. r. R.
JAMES P. JENNINGS.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24
THE SCIENTIFIC RECORD.
INVENTORS.

Send us description Of your Invention. Civ
ing your idea in your own language, and we viii
give an opinion as to ratentability, with full in
structions, cha rging nothing for our advice
Our book. allow to procure Patents" about th'
Patent laws, Patents, Caveats, Trade Marks
their costs &C.. sent free on request.
A6Hrorc. u 9 GA D IA GfEV
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24

JOB PRINTING can be done at tets OF
flee on call-hardly equaled, certainly not
workmanship or price.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24
DR.. SLEE.

burg VI Medical lnSf ltute, mas Ueen longer IN the
practice of private diseases than any ply scian in
In Cleveland, as back files of City and State pa
pers will show. his office has been located
where It is now for the past five years.
TERMS NO CURE, NO PAY.
SPERMATORRHEA. - This complaint has
been made very special study by the Doctor,
and having 70 treat thousands Of cases OF it. his
knowledge Of It's effects and consequences Is per-
feet and his mode Of treatment successful The
suffering endured by this affection is beyond or
dinary comprehension, It's effects various
maddening and destructive TO 10th body and
mind. and unless cured will terminate fatally.
The symtoms indicating its presence are very
clear and decided. for there Is continual con-
scinusness Of slow and gradual decay Of all the
powers Of body and mind, with loss of manly
power and vigOr, defective memory, loss OF
sight noiRes in the head and ears, confusion of
ideas. aversion TO society. preferrng to be alone;
general physical depression. cOmpiote impoten-
cy indisposltiOn to exurtinn. excessive prOstra-
ton trembling of the hands and limbs, pain in
the back and chest Indigestion, lOss of rest at
night, with rightful dreams, dry coated tongue
In the morning. with little taste in the mouth
pimplns on the fpcr, heart affections, cousump-
tiuu. morGsmus aud ultimate ueran- eulenf of The
mind and any one who is thus troubled should
lose no time 10 applying for the most scientific
treatment TO be had. Office hours, 0 to ~ A, NJ,
and 1 10 p. NJ. Every letter must contain n
stamp for reply.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24
SELLERS
COUGH
SYRUP -!
90 Years Before the Public,

80 Years Before the Public.
Pronounced by all to be the most PLEASANT
and ETF1oAcIoUs remedy now in use, for the
CURE OF COUGHS, COLDS, GROUP, HoARsENEss,
tickling sensation, of the throat, whooping
cough etc OVER A MILLION BOTTLES SOLD WITH
IN THE LAST FEW YEARS. Il gives relief wherever
used and ha the power to impart benefit, that
cannot De had from the cough mixtures now in
use. Sold BY all Druggists at 95 cents per bottle
SELLERS LIVER PILLS are also highly rec.
commended for curing Liver Complaint, consti-
patton, SiUkheadaches, Fever ana Ague, and all
diseases Of the stomach and Liver. Sold by all
Druggists at % cents per box, 53-Ol
R. 4. Sellers & Co., Pittsburgh, Pa.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24
PATENT ATTORNEYs,

TAIhNI AIIUhNbLpJ
No. 6Oa Nearly S5BS.9s SStBSst FstsaR FSSR6Bg9n 6gss D. O.
Arrears Of Pay, Bounty & Pensions.
We have a Bureau in charge of experienced
lawyers and clerks, for prosecution Of all Sold
ier's Claims, Pay, Bounty and Pensions As we
charge no fee unless successful, stamps for re-
turn postage should be sent Us.
S. 3 A. P. LACEY.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24

II A B L T.
Rates per 1000 for admission Fees and an
nUdL dues.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24
ERUN x -
PATENTS

AND
TR ADE- M a RKS
We procure Letters Patent on Inventions. No
Attorney fees in advance in application for pat
ents in the United States. Special attention
given 20 Interference Cases before the Patent
Office. and all litigation appertaining to lnven-
tiOus or Patents We also procure Patents in
Canada and other foreign countries.
Caveats Filed, Copyrights obtained, and all
other business transacted before the Patent
Office and the Courts which demands the ser
vices of experienced Patent Attorneys, We
have had ten years experience as Patent Attor-
news
THE SCIENTIFIC RECORD.
All Patents obrained through our agrl cy, are
noticed in the SCIENTIFIC RECORD. monthly pa
per Oflarge circulation. published by us, ana de-
voted to Scientific and Mechanical matters II
contains full lists of all allowed Patents. Sub
scription 25 cents a year postpaid. Specimen
copy free. Send us your address on postal card
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24
NOtatiOns.

A lady joking about her nose, said: Il
had nothing TO do with shaping 1t. 1t was
a birthday present"
Young swell: Il should like to have
my mustache dyed" Polite barber: Ser
tainly; did you bring it with you?"
An Irishnan having fallen into a tank
of hot lard, said, after being taken out,
''Sure, never'd want three days of graeer'
The world never knows the great respect
lawyers have for one another until one Of
them dies and there is a meeting Of the
bar.
Inspector to grammar class: "What is
syntaxY' Answer by the child Of hard
drinker: 1T is the Government duty on
spirits?'
The individual who called tight boots
comfortable defended his position by say
ing they made a man forget all his other
miseries.
One man asked another why his beard
was brown and his hair white. Because
he replied, ''one is twenty years younger
than the other"
A book-agent was Knocked down by a
street-car the other day. and two wheels
passed over his cheek. The car is laid up
pending repairs.
Milton was asked if he intended to in
struct his daughter in the different Ian
guages, 10 which he replied, ''No. sir, one
tongue is sufficient for a woman"
SAT what age was you married?" asked
she inquisitively But the other lady was
equal to the emergency, and quietly re-
sponded, '.At the parsonage"
When the news reached Philadelphia
that Shere All was diving. two lawyers i'm
mediatelv started for Afgbapisian TO iu-
duce the relatives TO contest the will
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24
CEN TAuR

LAniRents viii surely eEterminate
the pain. Therei is no Strain, Sprain,
Cut, 6ca1d, Burn, BFuise, Sting, Gall
or LaRsness to which Mankind or
Dumb BFutes are subject, that does
not respond TO this Soothing balm.
III, Go-kavP
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24

MY son, said an American father,
chow could you marry an Irish girl:
Why, father, said the son. I'm no
able 70 supporr rwo women-if I'd mar
ricd Yankee girI IA bsve to hire an IRISH
girl TO take care Of her
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24

Scene in a police conrt: ''Prisoner, how
many barrels of potatoes did you say you
stole?" ''Seven, yer honor, three yester-
day and two to-day" ''Well, but that's
only fve." ''0ch, sure I'm going for The
others when git out of this .
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24

William Augustus to sleepy room mate;
''Come, John Henry, why don't you get up
with the lark, as l do?" John Henry,
grimly: Been up with him all ngiht.
Mrs Partington has been reading the
health officers weekly report, and thinks
total must be an awful malignant disease,
since as many die of il as all the rest put
together.
A witty lady was once told by gentle
man of her acquaintance that she must
have been born with a silver spoon in his
month" She looked at him carefully, and,
upon realizing the size of his mouth replied
Il don't doubt it; but it must have been a
soup-ladle."
She held firmly on to the ropes and gayly
warbled, ''Oh, George, isn't this just nice?
Now, really, 1 think this just too exquisite
for ANYTHING, with the cool breezes blow
ing silvery foam around in little fairy COB
let's and" The dash denotes the mo-
ment she swallowed the billoW.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-10-24

Kankakee has justice who heats them
all in the way os doing up job of matri-
monial splicing with neatnessau dispatch.
This is the formula: "Have 'err' Eyes. -
"Have IMP" 'sYes." Married: two dol
lars "