Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1879-01-04
"GOING TO SCHOOL,"

how many members we have in the
Legislature, who presides over each
body, how laws are made, and how often
United States Senator is elected, and
in return will"
1 had reached this point the other
evening when there came ring at the
door-bell, and after a minute discov-
cred that Mr.. Old Fogy had decided on
another attack. He meant to give me
fits this time. He brought along two
or three teachers with him, and they at
once walked into my school-room. 1
did at first have a sign of ' State Pris-
on" over the door, so as to make it
seem like regular school-house to the
pupils, but as they insisted upon regard
ing it as novelty removed the sign.
swell, you have been teaching, see?"
observed Mr.. Old Fogy.
"Yes, six of these children belong in
the neighborhood, and don't attend any
regular school,"
ave don't exactly agree on the school
question, you know!" said Mr.. Old
Fogy. You did rather stump me the
other night, but I'd like you to ask some
of those teachers few questions.
every well. Mr.. Blank, how many
bushels of wheat will make barrel of
foure"
"Why, that isn't regular question:"
he replied as he looked round.
"Isn't il? Your arithmetic says that
sixty pounds of wheat make bushel,
and because it does not say how many
bushels make barrel of flour the
farmer who is figuring on his years
supply must be left in ignorance. Here
is Charlie, only 9 years old-he may an
swer.''
"From four and half to five bushels, :"
the boy replied.
Snow, Mr.. Blank, can you name the
more prominent stsrsP''
al can, sir"
"I thought so; but can you tell me
how many spokes there are In the front
wheel of buggy-can any of youP''
81 protest!" cried Mr.. Old Fogy, but
they didn't answer for all that.
"Well, Mr.. Blank, can you translate
Latin?''
81 can, sir"
"No doubt of it; but can you tell me
how to preserve ciderp"
"There you go again! J" cried Mr.. Old
Fogy, but none of them could tell.
"Are you familiar with cube root,
Mr.. Blankp''
81 am"
"But can you tell me the salary Of
J our GovernorP''
None of them could.
J "Try some of the ladies'" suggested
Mr.. Old Fogy, after few more ques
: tions.
"All right. Miss Blank, are you goot
: in algebraP"
7 "f think so."
7 "And can you tell me how many
I yards of cotton to buy for pair of pill
low-slipsP"
"Why, no."
"Do you know what will take stain
out of table-c.oth, or grease spots ou
of carpet?"
"No, sir"
l "Can you direct cook to make pie
crust or mix biscuit or bread?"
: "No, sir"
"Do you know the average length o
lace curtains?"
9 "No, sir"
"Can you mix mustard plaster, tel
:, me a ready family antidote for poison
suggest family remedy for cold or
sore throat, tell me how many yards Ii
bunch of dress braid, the number O
yards of ticking to make bedtick,
way to remove paint from windows, O
how to make Cruel for the sickP''
$50, sir"
: "What are you driving atP" indig
|, nantly demanded Mr.. Old Fogy.
'' "I'll let my class go and tell you
Let me first remark that haven
> asked question which these childre
C here can't answer. This little girl wi
e promptly answer every thing L hav
asked Miss Blank, and yet she is not
l. years old A month ago told her ths
h alum and brown sugar mixed togethe
e would relieve Group. A week ago, {
G dead of night, reused from sleep by he
e. parents and the walls of her sick brotf
er, she prepared the remedy while hi
e father was after the doctor and hi
,, mother excited.and helpless, and in ha
r an hour the Group was gone. You as
l. me what I'm driving atp Women Al
Z, called helpless, and we do not look
- see them have presence of mind! WI
are they SOP Simply because they ma
IS know algebra by heart and yet n
o. know what is an antidote for almo
s, every poison. They learn astronom,
:: and yet don't know what is good for
o. burn, or how to stop the nose-blee,
rs They know all about botany, and y
can not tell what to do for person WI
m has tainted away"
at "But I'm not housekeeper," pr
"a tested Miss Blank.
y, "No; well, every woman looks fo
a ward to marriage. They were born
iy Every female expects to marry ric
but not one in five hundred can so ms
. ry as to throw the entire responsible
% q of her house on hired help. Six out
10 ten may have servant, but unless t
III mistress knows how things should
-, NJ what can be expected of the girlP VIII
+, the lady sits in the parlor and realiz
i that she can draw, play the piano a
al read French, the "help," left to expe
n ments, and having no interest, breal
smashes and throws away, and the ia
he ily are soon looking for a CHEAP
k house. Miss Blank here may mai
as and never have to lift hand, but if $
'fe knew every duty-if she knew remed
ar- and recipes-wouldn't she have mt
self-reliapce and he better prepared
as her responsibilities
ne ne "Can you name one married lady
TN Detroit who makes use of algebra? c
Oh. you name one who is ever inconve
zen enced for the want of knowledge
ne geometryP Do you know of one "
ne. wouldn't trade off all her Latin fol
~ cure for corns."
'H' in Mr.. Old Fogy said he thought it 10
ha ed as if we would have a snow-stol
,,', "Then take the other side. We
Is5 not teach our boys to be observing, {
90 then we turn around and call them he
Wv less. We pass the things of every {
life to let them grasp at the theoretit
They thus become helpless. They
name the planets, but they can not
his the length and width of brick; Il
asst can name every ancient philosopher,
as they can't put up the stove-pipe; t
,en can figure in cube-root, but they cs
ont tell all-wool cloth from half-cotton.