The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1879-07-17
Miscellaneous Gossip.
The goat always gives evidence in re
buttal,

| lily S''t' always Sl'Co CEiuCHCC Ill IC
buttal.
Many young man dates his happincs
from his wedding ay-and many anoth
er don't.
1t is an old saying, but very prett,
one, that a blush is like a pretty girl, fo
| it becomes woman.
An exchange tells Of an Alabama lad,
who cries nearly all the time and We
fat. Her fat is laid on in tiers.
The Germans, the world over celebrated
for their thrift, have a maxim that "paint
ing is no expense
Mathematlcians must stand one side
whe the green grncer's clerk takes his
pencil from behind his big ear and pro
ceeds to divide seven by one.
At the close of the sermon the minis
ter became impressive. Raising his voice
he SAID -" -"Judgment! judgment!'' and a
small boy in the vestlbule shouted "Out
on frst.'
Tourist (who is staying in the neigh
borhood for the tishing): els it possible
that you keep the pig in the house with
you p Pat: "And why not surr
Sure, isn't there Everything in it that the
crathur would want ?''
A cabinet maker can make flower
stand the hottest day il the season, but a
washer-wOman can't make IA linen collar
stand more than fifteen or twenty minutes
after the mercury crawls out at the top
of the thermometer and begins to climb
the lightning rod. ..-...-
Tourist; "Well, my man, what way do
go to Inverness? Tonald with out open
ing his eyes) "Straig ght on" Tourist: ''If
you can show me a lazier trick than that
I'll give you half crown" Tonald
("ithont opening his eyes: J 'Just drap it
in ma pouch.' x4...l
''Ma, has sister Floy ever travelled any?"
S No, child, no. "Then, when was lyin'
under the sofy Sunday night, and sister
and Mr.. John come in from church and
was settin' in the big rocking cheer,
how come her to say that the incest land
she ever was in was Lapland?"
TooSmany of. us arcsin the very doubt
full position of the poor fellow who
ana who at last published Il card of de-
fiance in which he declared that not a
single one of the lies IN circulation about
him were true. ~'--~ '-'-- '---
A larger beer seller. being asked by a
peddlcr if he wanted spices or cloves,
the following colloquy took place: "Vat
for | want um?" asked the proprietor.
"To take away the smell of beer from the
breath, of course" exclaimed the peddler.
"Take away dot smell Of bcer!' ex-
claimed the man behind the counter;
my Gott! you got Something's vot makes
der smell stay on, buys him!'
Lady Clara Robinson (nee We're de
Verey is subject to fits of radicalism.
After suddenly informing her daughter
Gwendoine, that kind hearts are more
than coronets, and simple faith, than
Mormon blood, she gives her permission
to go and play with "those nice daugh-
ters OF the people" Gwendoline Robin
son-"You may play with me, little
girls!' Small daughter of the people
''1f you please, Miss, mother don't like
us to play with strange children!'
Robert Burdette; upon his return to his
sanctum at Burlington, says: 81 have
acquired such easy, familiar relations
with the people of the house that the
baby has already emptied the ink into
one of my boots aud the mucllage into
the other, and is drawing a map .ot
Hawkeye creek on my coat with piece
of beef gristle and a glass OF, milk His
mother tells me should not let him do
it, aDd perhaps she is right, but wh..s am
l to do? He seems to enjoy it, and !
know do, and what was this world
made for if it wasn't for pleasure?'
They are so precocious iu the neighbor-
hood Of Worcester, Mass! my little
seveu- yearold girl" writes friend, twas
in the sitting room alone with her uncle,
and dreamily looking from the window.
Without turning her head, she said /:
'.Uncle Horace, eight and seven make
fifteen, don't they?' He replied that she
was right. ''Then," said she, in half So
liloquy, cit is only eight years before 4
shall have beau, and, oh dread it,"
A manufacturer of cod-liver oil thus
defies competition: "The Goldfish in the
open sea are pursued by whales, SHARKS,
etc, and live in continual terror; hence,
like all animals under the same condi-
tlons, have liver diseases, jaundice, and
the rest. l avoid the mistake of ordina-
ry manufacturers by obtaining my fish
where no marine monster can gain access.
They live peaceably and die healthy.
This is why my oil is the best'