Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-03-21
IIuinOr.


A speech from the thrown "Blaine
that mulel"
Every bakers shop has the stomach
cake.
The great Teller Committee Woman
kind.
The lawyer who charges "A nominal
fee is phenomenal.
Is shoe horn II good instrument for
n sole oh?
This is the walking year, the next
will be leap year
The man who was in "high feather
has got down.
Never checker perspiration by sitting
in II draught.
Spring fever and white vests will soon
be ripe.
Prince of Wales red is the new color
Whales red We always thought.
Whales blew.
The government detective ut the mint
may not he good enough to eat, even if
he is II mint spy.
PA" said Pete, "may | Diet up and
twot on your knee?" Certainly" was
the ready reply, "let the little gallop."
The idea that fruit eaten at night is
deleterious is proved by the bad effect
it had upon Adam from eating al apple
after Eve.
The manager Of ballet exposition
in II western city advertises thlsly:
"Twy hundred calves wanted" Did
you hefer.
Music hath charms TO sooth the saw
age, This is why we occasionally see u
cross dog with u brass band around his
neck.
Congress is to meet again on the 18th.
This comes near enough to st. Patrick s
day to make that old gentleman rest
uneasy in his grave.
Talk about the Spanish lnquistion |!
1t was nothing compared to the man
who stands upon the platform Of car
and whistles all the latest tunes with
variations.
"Won't you give something toward
the fund for saving the Old South Y
asked she. 81 know no South" said
dreamily, M he opened
wide the door.
An lrishman who couldn't get his
money deposited with one high in the
church, was asked why he didn't appeal
to the See: "rhe Say? So ! would" re-
piled Pat, with twinkle in his eye, "if
it was the Cash-payin Say"
A downtown man says he has the
btst auction ear in his family. II be-
longs to- his wife, and it hears of every
auction in the city, much to the light.
ness Of his purse. Ncw Haren Register.
What's this The HAT Finisher's AS
ISOLATION p The small boy must belong
to that to man. lfanythingin nature
can finish a hat in shorter order than
the small boy, we haven't heard of it,
that's nil. Boston Transcript
Miss Smith-"Can you pick out
Archie and Kate down there, Mr..
Camenbcrt" Mr.. Cob, yes; | am
vcr good.looking.' Miss 5. gently "
THAT does not mean 'keen-sighted. !"
Mr.. C-"Ah, yes, yes; vat mean |
nm looking YER welI2'
A little 3.ycar-oid III town, who oh
served her grandfather writing II postal
card, requested that she might he nj
lowed to write II letter. Upon being
asked if II postal card wouldn't answer
her purpose, she replied: "No, sir |
want paper and 'yelope; don't want
my letter To go bareheaded like 'ursl'-
Waterloo Observer.
Critical Soph-"Dont you think, sir,
that the use of the term hoplite is m
instance of great Inconsistency on the
part of the Creeks Tutor Why, how
so, Mr.. Q?' Critical student
"Well, you know, hoplite means u
heavy armed man; and if man was
heavy armed, | don't see how lie could
hoplitel"
A bashful young man could defer the
question no longer, 50 he
stammcred; Martha, lido YOU
You must have-arc you aware that
tho good book says-er, says that it is
not g.g-good that m-man should lie
alone ?" Then hadn't you better run
homo to your mother9 Martha coolly
suggested.
An Illinois weather prophet predicts
that March will have N full average Of
storms and prccipitntions' And we he
heye him. And we also believe that
next August will have some warm days.
and the number OF thunderstorms will
depend upon the number Of Sunday
school pionics. --NorriSto,pn Herald,
There's no smoking allowed
The conductor exclaimed
10 i man who had Jumped on the ear.
Vim not smoking aloud,
He gently exclaimed
For noiselrssy pun my cigar
Hdcieasatk Rtpnhli.ia
Nix. FARNuM, United States consul
general III Egypt. writes that Nj. Fcrdi.
nand Lesseps, who has been at the
head of the Suez canal since its begin
ming il 1880, expresses the opinion that
the Panama canal must be constructed
without locks to be successful or re-
muncratlyc.
4 COOKING SCHOOL is soon to be opened
ut Boston, and il is hoped that nor.
mai class will soon be started to raise up
teachers, who shall 60 ont into the
sn,a liar cifi,,a and rural districts mud IL