The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-12-23

A pale-faced clerk in a Woodward.ayenue
clothing-store received a setback tue other
day from az old woman which will retard
bis growth for year to come. she entered
the store Ia company with her son, ana
said:
"I want to see some ulcer overcoats Tor
boys"
.You mean ulster-u-Ls-t-e-r," be re-
piled.
"Did ask for ulcer overcoats?"
eyes, m1'am." .g4-r-
"Tten / want to see ulcer overcoats, no
matter how you spell it. / got up at D
O'Clock this morning, rode fourteen miles
facing the wind, sold two hogs and barrel
OF cider, and il I don't know what want
Pm not going to take any advice from a
waking goose-quiIi like you."-Detroat
Free Press. ......"
Governor Cornell is determined to have a
more Observation-Disclosures military staff
than has been seen in New York since the
Dutch dynasty. 1t will consist Of fourteen
persons OF gorgeous pedigree and plethoric
pockets. When the Governor, attended bY
bis staff, all splendidly mounted. their steeds
gaily eaparisoned. and their persons be-
decked With.whoie bolts OF gold lace and no
end of tassels, shall ride abroad on general
muster days, the effect will in all probability
be immense Washington Post.
An old darby who peddles CLAIMS about
town was heard TO remark last week that a
horse for which he had paid sevcnty-tve
cents had dropped dead in the shafts on The
day after The purchase, and he wound up by
saving, "Psc done now, and buys no more
cbraD horses. Pse gwine to have a good
4 r hnx.n m on n
and pay four dollars for hin" -Netoarh
CdN.
"Aud how is your neighbor, Mrs.
Brown" inquired one nicely-dressed lady
Of another. "She's well enough, l sup
pose. I haven't seen her to speak to her
for six weeks" "Why, thought You two
were on the most friendly terms" well,
we used TO be, but we've exchanged SER
vasts."-Neu Haven Register.
When you see young mar in gorgeous
apparel walking about the street with bis
arms hanging in curves from bis body like
the wings Of an over-heated turkey on q
sumncr's day, it isn't because he is in pain
It is because he has been "abroad."-LOlc
ell Courier.
II was not aware that you knew him.
day, KNEW blm!" said he, ina tone
which comyrchended the knowledge Of
more than one life. 81 knew him when bis
father WAS baby"
Did YOU ever notice the fact-oR course
YOU hayc-that tramp who claims he has
trade, but can get no work at it, in Tho
winter is brickmaker, and in the summer
lumberman or icc-sawyer ?-Lochp0r
Union.
"What is good for a drunken headache p
asked the man with the cardinal nose
"Wcll," said tue temperance lecturer
"you arc, il you don't let up OH those big
drinks before noon." And sure enough he
was correct Ha,o|eeyc.
So many societies for The promotion OF
things are established that Johnnie wants
| to know why somebody doesn't get up a So
ciety for the promotion OF boys in schools,
without making them study so.-Neac Yorlc
Matt.
Don't tell your wife that sealskin sacques
arc going out Of fashion. Her mind is def
nitely settled on that question, and she will
reply that she is glad, for they will be so
chcap.-St. Louis Spirit.
There was another boy who was stopped
| by middle.aged lady with: Boy, want
| to 90 10 D. street." "Wel, madam y
said The boy. "why don't you go there,
then2" .'.. -s'.'|
Promises fer tomorrow are all right in
their way, but the man who sneers at mush
and milk TO look fer chicken-pie may have
TO fill up on cold water.-Detroit Free
Press. .s..a.t ,~.t. :#.... --..'.-'--' -
"That's what beats me-" as the boy
said when he saw his father take the skate
strap down from its accustomed nail. .>-t.,.
Courtship is a draw game-marriage is a
tie. ...- ~
A green Christmas makes lean plumber
Boston Commercial Bulletin.