The Louisiana cotton-boll. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], Attakapas, La.) 1872-1883, 1879-10-30

lIlE blI'
EDITORS get one important item Of
subsistcnceat low prico-they get bored
for nothing.
al AM like a calendar" said cheerful
old man of four score; my days are all
numbered"
"MosT people neglect the eye" saysa
writer. Prizc-fghtcrs don't. They always
60 right for it.
WHY are good resolutions like squal-
ling babe at church? Because they
should be carried out.
A LADY Joking about her nose, said:
al had nothing to do shaping it," IL
was a birthday present,
IT is hoped that the uninitiatcd 10
not think that the quons used by print
ers are made of gold or slycr--they are
only wood.
ALTHOUGH man is the only animal
that can be induced to drink liquor, beef
occasionally gets corned,--PhiiadciPhia
Chronicle .H7aH.
THE young man who wrote and asked
his girl to accept "buCket' of flowers,
became little pale when she said she
wooden ware it.
AN exchange says that the individual
who "stoIe march" has been put in the
same cell with "procrastination, the
thief of time"
SHE was plump and beautiful, and he
was wildly fond of her. She hated him,
but, woman-Iike, she tried to catch him
And yet what was he?-A flea.
A VIRGINIA Judge holds that n hus.
band cannot be slandcred by his wife.
They are one in the eyes of the law, and
she has a right to SANDER either half.
"Have l not my son." said an induI-
gent father, "giyen you every advan-
tageW go yes, but couldn't think of
taking advantage of you, father" replied
the young scapegrace.
"What quantities of dried grasses you
keep here, Miss Stebbins2 Nice room
for a donkey togetinto?' Make your
self at home, - she responded, with sweet
gravity.
UNDER her window he sang OF the stars,
And likenod them TO her eyes.
Miles away she sped on the Cars,
With the timer who'd won the prize
IT is mournful comment on human
vanity to see the mourners looking back
on turning corner, to see il the length
of the procession is worthy of the corpse.
-,Saturday Night.
IT j. singular that men will go playing
sweet TO other mems wives, when there
are SO many billions of accomplished.
spinsters only waiting to conjugate the
verb "amo, amayi," in Massachusetts,.
PROFESSOR, the carriage is ready"
cried a porter, protruding his head
through hotel Office door in Boston.
Thirty-seven men instantly jumped to
their feet and bowed.-M City Derrick.
LORD HOLLAND told Of a man remark
able for absence of mind, who, dining
once at some sort of shabby repast,
fancied himself in his own house, and
began to apologize for the wretchedness
of the dinner.
You seem sad and detected tonight,
Claude, dear" Yes, darling; men Of
my emotional nature are easily affected
either by the smileso or frowns offortune."
His washerwoman had discharged him.
Andretns' Razar.
| The Boston Transcript wants q per.
senal pronoun of common gender, and
the Post suggests Drmarywalker. This
will be apt to engender trouble -between
"He, she, it and the Postman."-N Y.
Commercial 1dDertiser.
tTHE mills Of the gods grind slowly"
This is all because the hands are paid by
the day. viii the gods never learn that
! it il to their interest to let ont work by
contract?-H Louis Republican.
ONE reason why men restore lost wal
lets to their owners Is because they were
seen to pick them up. A dark night
and fat wallet would have given even
old Ben franklin a close, shave.
THE best burglar alarm is to have
n nH lady in the house.
W comes along that way
lia kasaS Hgll lghf IN the parlor; and
he's human. lie wouldn't disturb the
sentimental symphony that's going on
within. It's booty-not beauty---that
he's after.
MoRMoNIsM received something Of 3
check a month ago in northeast Georgia
by the killing Of one Of the saints, or
bishops, sent there to gather in disci-
pies. Now the disease has broken out in
Clay and Cherokee counties, in North
Carolina, and the people there have
taken it in hand in the most decided
manner, ordering the preachers to Leave
for Salt Lake within thirty days.