The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1879-02-08
TIaIS AND THAT.

of his lositiOn in the class: "Weil, pro-
fessor. never mind. lpresume am as
much to blame as you are"
Sporting Character-"Ere' a pret-
ty go, Bill See this ere book2 It's
called "A Lite of Petrarct, the very oss
as me and you's been layin of our
money on so freel And hlowed If
amt bin an Civ 'arf a crown for It'll"
"Well. what then2" "Why, it's all
about boomin' pOetl"
Said DR.. Blanche. the famous French
expert in cases OF insanity. to the jurors
in a case recently tried IN Paris: "In
the prisoners drunken moods he wou Id
grow sad and TemOrSeful. and blame
himself for maltrratiug he wife, as
druukards often do. gentlemen, as wlth>
out doubt you yourselves know"
--Facctious old party II How long do
yon say that wine has been bottled,
waiter?" Waitpr-FOurtPpn years, sir"
Fatetious old party Lori didut know
| flies would live rs lor . as that" Wai~
ter-"Flies, srl" Facrtious old party
Yes; mean that one kicking about
! in the bottle"
Little Laura was tired and sleepy or
| Christmas night, when she went to bed,
and forgot to say her Now lay me-"
Il toudn't 60 to heaven tonight, nam.
ma," said she as her mother was pull
| ing off her little stockings. "Why not,
daring?" "Tos I'm too tired"
The season for getting drowned
while skating opened in Canada few
days ago, and every little philadelphia
boy owning pair of skates should at
once send his name written in n clear,
bold hand to this office. We mortally
hate to spell the name of drowned
boy incorrectly. -Ex.
.-"ATe you Pngagpd?" said gentle
man to young lady from Marysville at
a hall the other evening. II was, hut
If that Pete Johnson thinks I'm going to
sit here and see him squeeze tha, freck-
led face Wilkins girls hand all the
evening he'll he mistaken. solitaire or
no solItairpl' The gentleman explain
ed and went out to get air.
Free Kirk Minister (to his eldpi)
john should Ike you to intimate
that on Monday next ] propose paying
pastoral visits in the High and North
streets, in which hope to embrace all
the servant girls OF the congregation in
that district" His vile (whom he'd
| lately married from the SOulh) You
| shall do nothing Of the kind, sirl Let
me SEE you dare to T.
The use Of the confessed counter-
| fpitpr, Charles Uiich, az IA witness for the
Government looks as If that dangerous
person were about to be let off with
light punishment again. Ulrich pre-
tends that no promises of immunity
from punishment have been made to
him, but The alacriry with which he ties
titles against his accomplices indicates
something very different from the indie
| tiUn of severe punishment on i'm.
= Is the water all froze up?' asked
aunt Dmathy of Jreus, who was trying
to break the water in the water cask ON
Monday morning. mo. aunty, /
should say it was frozr down." aud hs
turned his hatchpt 20 is sent shower
of fine ice in the old lady,s face. "rhat's
an impudept trick" said she. 'rh,
nj" said the yonngster, "lt'S an Ice
response"
"A sophomore, on being asked for
an excuse tor his absence from chapel
on SUNDAY, said lie was out walking
and was So far from college when the
church bells rang that he could not
reach the chapel in season and so at
tended the village church. "WhO
preached theTe?" asked the Professor.
Il don't know" said the student,
",ome stranger " "Indeed!" was the
reverend gentlpman's re poHse. Il
am surprised that you lid not recog-
nlze me-"
"A professor who had been trying
for a half hour to explain formula on
the board turns with his finger on his
nose, woich il very prominent feat
u.e, and said severely: "Is this now
apparent to you alp" (Freshmen GRIM
IL am aware gentlemen, that it is long"
(Freshmen grin audlOly) But hupe
you see the points, (olight pedal ap.
plause at is called pons asiuOrum.
of which, hope, you see the appIlca-
ton cloud and continued APP
plause.)
Scene St. Georges Cross, GLASGOW;
time, IL 80 p. NJ, Young West enteT,
OF astronomical tendencies, discovered
hanging ON by the fountain, and lOOk-
ing lntently at the moon. Yong West
endrr -''Itsh all boSh!" Pdsscr by
whats bush not the!e at alll' p h.
oh, but you II require Al strong glass
before you can see it > Y. w. E.
"SLrong glassl Bosh, nstnshl tired
seven OF Klnahan's best; she two
muOnsh, but no craterl'
The Rev. DR.. Jetrr, of Richmond.
told this story at his own expense;
Many years ago au artless stranger,
whom | causually met, said 10 me, II
hear you preach every Sunday. You
are the greatest preacher / ever did
hear" 'Ah," said |, you have not,
suppose, heard Mr.. NJ preach" CAT
that time Mr.. NJ. was attracting great
attention by his seTmOus.) Yes" he
replied, Il have heard Mr.. NJ, several
times. He i, great pr acher; but he
is not 80 great preacher as You are
You have the m0urnfuest voice Ut any
man | ever did bear."
--Myops is an "art,t" of the North
CONWAY" school. trammelled by no
conventions. jones happrnen up 10 his
studio tie other day, aud looking over
his shoulder at Sunbeam ON the
White Mountains. cried, Your sky
is alJazing | like it," Stro!ling over
to Dabble, an artist next door, Jones
back bites thus: you should see My
ops SKY; it's just like putty" OF
COURSE this COMES back 10 MSups, who
meets Jones aud says. ''N hat do you
mean by admirlng my sky, aud gong
OH aud telling Da bic it looks like put
y?" why l like putty" was the
calm reply.
"A lady OF fashion, with pug-dog
aud husband, eI.tsred the train at Pad
dington the OTHER day. ThoIe were
In the carriage but two persOns--a we'll
known professor aud his wife; yet tAs
ady of Iarhiun coveted not indeed hisl
chair, hut his seat. wish TO sit by tho
window, SIR" she said, /, peTiOusly,
aud he had To move accordingly. mo.
sir, that wont do, she said as he meek
lS took the next place. IL can't have
a stranger sitting close to me. My hus-