The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-03-22
sUNBEAMs.
A dealer in extracts-The dentist.

IlOW W bdhO u L1uh uOWn-1JkhPAOl q
shorthand reporter.
A whole set of false teeth now for 50!
Just chew on that.
The latest slang phrase is: 'oh, you're
too new; the dust sticks 10 you"
The oysterman's golden rule is, "Stew
unto others as you would have others stew
for YOU"
Actors cannot carry their quarrels on the
stage. They must make up" before they
play.
1t may be a very hard thing to be tried
by adversity, but how much harder to be
tried by the County Judgel
Many man who prays not to be led in
to temptation would be awfully disappoint-
ed if his prayer was granted.
"Ez general thing" said John Quin-
cess, recently, 'I am down on puns, but
apun my word I've allus considered black
smith hoss sure"
An Illinois man writing to the Clerk of
the Supreme Court of the State for license
to practice law, said:-"H you have two
sizes send me largest one."
A Western rural paper asserts that there
are two many hogs in this country. The
writer has probably been taking ride on
street car in cold day.
If the characters of oil our young men
stood as high as their shirt collars, the
a., hattar oEnant
than it does. es.-Syaeuse Times
Says an exchange: Even small boys
carry arms in this town" Awful, aint it |?
Even the little flowers carry pistils in this
wicked city.-Keokuk Constitution.
The Norristown Herald indicates its be-
lief in the Oriental origin of man by stat
ing the wellknown fact that both the pop
| py and the mummy come from the East.
'tWhat is the use of that man painting
his name twice on his sign :" said gentle
man to his friend, as he pointed to a
| sign which read ~. e. Weller, Jeweller."
'sYour late husband, madame began
her lawyer-"Yes, l know he was always
late out o'nights, but NOW that he's dead
don't let us upbraid him, )" said his charit-
able widow.
A Boston man who bought one thousand
HAVANA cigars, on being asked what they
were for, replied that they were tickets to
q course of lectures to be given by his
wife
The man who thought fire extinguisher
| in Hartford Hotel was water tank and
tried to draw glass of water therefrom,
recently, knows thing or two more than
he did before he tried
There was grand ball in New Haven a
few nights ago, and when the next morning
the jantor was sweeping up he found set
| of false teeth on the floor. Nobody has
claimed them.
'Pompey, why am de cross colored baby
like de buttercup OBJ de valley ~ "Glb
'er up, Jones; why am it why, one am
clored yellow amt it, and amt de other
a colored yeller, too ?"
''It is all very WE'LL" said henpecked
husband, when told to look after the child.
ren: ''its all very well to tell me to mind
the Youngsters, but it would suit me bet
ter if the youngsters would mind me-"
Jones (who had been to the ''club" until
two A. M.)-"Mary, wasser use keeping
light for me, anyway ?" Mary-''Be.
cause, Henry, you know that while the
lamp holds out to burn, the vilest sinner
may return" Jones kept better hours for
the next week or two.
If there is any distinction between "a
while" and "a time" it is often lost sight
Of For instance, when a young man
leaves off work and says he is going of
''for wAlle," no one can feel sure until
his return that he has gone off for "a time
with all that the word implies.
The family physician was congratulatine
the lady of the house on the health of hei
six year old son who, she said, had not had
an ache or pain for a year. The youth
spoke to his father afterward, saying
MA is mistaken about that; had hard
pain last summer, after she whipped
me-"
While modern science is doing SO much
for mans comfort providing elevated rail,
roads, electric lights and proofs that his
duC66IOEb Wtic uiu ~ hne
made no effort discover a means of fasten-
ing the buttons on his boots so that they
will not come off at critical moment.
1t was rich widow who wondered thai
handsome young man had fallen in love
with her "Yes, it is wonderful, said Mr.
Spruceup, "but do love you to distrae
ton. Why even love the ground you
walk on" II thought so," observed the
widow, "but am not in want of landlord
at present
Don't you feel awfully mean to slyly ap.
propriate another mans umbrella because
it has an ivory handle, and after escortine
your girl home, and wondering in youl
mind what pleases her so, to find upon
, bidding her adieu that the owners name
is painted in large letters upon the in
side.
''No woman Of proper self-respect,n says
q woman's rights journal, discussing the
marriage ceremony, twill submit to be
given away Perhaps not; but, dear wo