The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1879-12-19
COniCALIrIRx.
HIeH spirits-ei.5o . gallon.
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apple stand all day on the street.
HOEoE thy Wife's father and mother
that thy days may be long upon The
land which the old folks gave thee.
PEOPLE who take moonlight strolls On
railroad tracks shouldn't be offended II
the coroner didn't recognise them.
p1.Ii. :: La ssssasE ca
"Turn your swfsek ths ofAeE sAAs"
OVER o month has psssed and no one
has remarked upon Rowelps two soles
that beat - won.-PhiiadePhia Ssaday
Item.
PREoocIoUs boy (munchiDg the fruit
Of the date tsee)-" Mamma, IL / eat
dates enough win I grow mp to be an
Almanac"
ARE blaeksmiths wha make q living
By forging, or carpenters who do LITTLE
counter-ftting, any worse than men who
eel iron and steel for O liEingf
TkEEEs 70 60 bnninem nifhout adEer.
tising L like Hinking ct girI ID fhs
dark. You may know what you are
doing but nobody else doss.- Hiaeksss~
San.
OLD Jones, in speaking of the CLOTHING
other day, said he never had but two
suits In his life that be was proud Of.
One was his wedding suit and the other
his divorce suit.
THERE'S are nineteen sure cases " for
intemperanee nov advertised, but moi
one of them can BEGIN with putting a
chap behind the barr where he can't
get hold of whisky.
1T IL ssid that the crown prince and
princess OF Germany, a. present In Italy,
!" rise with the lark" We presnns,
however, that, like Artemns Ward, they
" don't 90 70 bed with him"
OsE well known Fulton MARKET
butcher gives q blue pin gratis with
every pound and O half Of turkey he
sells. This is the grand utilitsrisn
blossoming Of the chrome idea
We see that fur-lined circulars are
fashionable again" People had mach
better advertise In the newspapers than
waste their money sending fnr.linsd
circulars through the post-of6ee.
BERoRE the shop window Of q picture
ehop-First gamin 10 second: 81 say,
Bill, come away; don't be IOokin' at them
pictures o. bally dancers, or folks n take
yer for q Harvard fTeshman. -Bossea
Post.
A POET walls: "AlImy breath burst
into dust cannot cFy-l whirl-I rel
and veer up overhead, and drop fatIsosd
againet-against-the sky-E;od blee
me! ! am dad" Served you right
nov stop drinking.
THERE are some people who resemble
storkE They are said 70 have one foOt
In the grave, but, like the ssdate bird
above mentioned, they are able 20 stand
on the other leg 70 long that their heiu
become impatient
What has become Of the good cd
days when greenhorn travelling BY rail
could buy for Is cents q package con-
tanning fifty articles worth 81 each, and
then fnd gold bsesstpin weighing q
pound and ball, besidesf
MAUp-And nov you've shown me
all your fayors, dear, do tell me who wss
theEe-the men, Of e0urss, I mean.
Alice-O, let me seei There wee lot Of
Harvard men, Of eOurss-yes, and soms
real men.-Haroard LampOon.
AT the opening of q e0nee tavern In
London the other day the dean Of Wezs-
minister was unkind enough 70 ssy that
the best institutions be had found In
America were the public libraries and
The worst were the newspApers"
As . party Of gentlemen and ls6iss
we're climbing 70 the top Of high church
tower one hot day, q gentleman Semsrk-
ID: This is rather spiral fight Of
.teps" To which q LADY rejoinsd:
Yes, perspirsl, and she wiped her bEos
y she spoke.
How far" asked an exchange viii
bees 20 for honey The answer % tLis
it unknown 20 ne, bat h ia
ellkn0wn fact that q bee vii ~ sailes
Dnt Of il way for the purpose Of stang
ing o barefooted boy On the heels-
h0rristOaoa Herald.
In children we're taught % saF
Mother" instead Of /" Ma" The blood
curdhng cry Of . young goat In The ed
l0iniDg field would never cssse a
anxious parent 20 rush ont 70 sss whzG
was the matter with her dsrling.-Haak-
snsaok Rspabiiaaa.
DoH'T 80 hos thers ever came %
be 90 many sords In the soFid," "a.
claimed 3 little girl who wAs stndyiag
her spelling lesson. {" Why, Ga" sid
her brother, they come throagh tolks
snsrreling. Then, yOa knOs, one wosd
brings % another"
A PEEHgfLgANIAN fhre9 himseld
INTO o river intending % eommit suieias.
When he sas haUled ashose . bostIs 81
Shizky wss found In bis pocksi Beiax
asked shat he took it sith kim fsr, 81
replied that his rsscneEs mixzs wans
something 70 revive him vita
MAhnA: "Wh&s's the matter, daz.
lingf fou d0n's seem EasaAed 70 sss
me-" Precious aarling: -, nm
Dot, mamma. ind goa hsEs esne anA
Engaged yonEself % bs masris1 assn
Without ny sppaosal, wkep ] had Al
'sAey promised you 70 eas II fs~.-Ss-
A LITTLE gid wss pREEilng ksz-sIi
shout her tEsnsfeEenee fran ksssen .
his mnndans sphsse, and anawskensd
Der mother. - DID ehe anRaAs ksse a
Innerai when ] came sasyss 81
presume these was no tnnesai,s Feplied
he mother. sWeai, - aid ghs ehIld al
pEssams thsy al felt h4e."
LITTLE MAsTKR EoDDY hss hasa IA
he hsbil Of putting his psnniss inEo fAs
boE e sandsy -eehool, ffli I'D sunAsy,
gLss hs came Fnshing into de kozn =
} bsesthlew hurry end shoatsd. Mamv
ma i shant save up ~ pennses ass
more. TIE monsy aen't - np % Go2,
sas NJ. Kelly tAks hand pas Is y he
pocket"
al wozpEE what mnkss Il lsok -
|iickenioopeE - fhe aext Gonr neirhkns.
sh0 bed lnst Fnn IL aminnie - kexsuM
J eonpis of ireah laid eepL @Iesa@
Sc bseanss youS wiBdess nsed 9asA-
M" eently Esnafke1 ehs nexs a.sF
asighhos, eFiaieaily FnnninG heS fassr
ineeF No sn1 6osn fkeglam- Asa fAa1
here was . sort q onolna@ I'D he q
net akee1 On ahe am.amiIia6 mulxia@4a.
nd fhe nexs dear naixkhor saaks wsnas
y Fieh - two eEp - 10 mixhf hass
>aan.--ksw ffsnes ksgssAw.
TnE fallewing posasl esd, a6Asemed
To ne psstsasxsexs q 0zsEEa, = 20.
lished IL Ne heTsisnz 6irzpssza.s
flssss pas thss psassl esEd ffam aA.as,
b eas@, Il psAz6hls anlli Il
iaaehes thai aGIm fEum wAsnm
.ks peEusn nams1 a W. Hamr
nonA Rzss - mslL I anks Is
na&ns - seosstsln his mhszasAssas -
Ils fnaesazs a . ayinE moekev. wAsz
say en tbs earth h fza ARzwinx = .
.iase. Any tnIssmzsian wln ~ ssaa
hsskinily seassssd " .. wss4sE1y.
sebeit Gig, he."
THE ALIASES 6s.ssNwzlsa pxtnss . -