Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-12-04
Sips of Fun.

u " GeeiS +" PiSNA fA
A pair of ears that go on a.
head of civilization-Pioneers
and frontiers.
A professional beauty, though
two words, is really only one
silly belle.
A man who declared himself
to be intoxicated with music
was considered air-tight.
"Bob Injuresoul' is one of
the frightful results of the Chi
cago Ta1baoae's new method of
spelling.
An individual who called his
first daughter Kate, when his
wife had another girl, christened
her Duplicate.
A newspaper reporter says
that one of the ladies at the late
ball, "took everybody's eye."
What an eye-dearI
The man who starts for the
river to drown himself will run
for a place of safety if he sees a
cross bull coming.
He said he wanted her to be
his helpmeet, and she replied
that she could never be more
than assister to him.
eyes," said Johnny, "1apsus
may be Latin for slip but | no.
tice that when mother laps us it
usually means slipper"
Depend upon it, "there's a
time for all things" The time
to leave is when she asks you
how the walking is.
"Genius finds its own road
and carries its own lamp" says
the Evansville Joaoma1. Been
watching us, have you?
Man wants but little here be-
How, and the McGregor Qowal
Neacs thinks he can get that
quickest by advertising.
A Chicago mans nightmare
turned out to be the shadow of
his wife's foot on the bed room
wall, instead of an unearthly
monster with five horns.
There is a difference between
lightning rods and enlightening
rods. One takes the mischief
out of the clouds, and the other
out of the bad boys.
James Parton and Bob Inger-
soil have joined hands. They
are satisfied there is no heaven,
because Sankey says "There'll
be no Parton there"
Governness-"Now, Jack, if /
were to give twelve pears to
Maude, ten to Edith and three
to you, what would it be?"
Jack (aged six)-"It wouldn't
be fair"
| A schoolmistress asked a child
what see spelt. The child hes
Iitated. Said the teacher: "What
do / do when / look at Mr..
Smith?" "Thquint," replied the
pupil.
Teacher-"Which of you can
mention three animals that live
lin AfricaT" John--"I cam Mr..
Ferule." Teacher-"Well let's
hear" John-"Two monkeys
and a parrot"
81 would rather" says the
editor of the Okolona States,
"be a living ass than dead lion.
Nature having gratified him in
that particular, what in the
world is he growing about?
care you going to the ball
tonight" said a bachelor to
his married friend. "Oh, yes,"
was the reply, '1'm going to
; the bawl; I've got crying ba-
by at home" Then each went
| his way.
"Little GIRL" said the kind
hearted old lady, attracted by
the angelic child, 81 will make
you a present of a toy. Which
will you have, this tea set or
this doll?D "Both of 'em," SAID
the simple child.
!, In the room of a railroad de-
pot in Iowa is the following
. placard over the clock behind
, the counter: "This is clock
1t is running-it is Chicago
time-it is right-it is set every
day at ten o'clock-now keep
, your id mouth shut"
sI've e new tAing-a big
! thing!'' he said; ''Pm going to
) get a matrimonial agencyP
: "The scheme is venerable" said
: a cold-hearted bystander. "Not
: on my plan!" was his proud re-
9 ply. GAIL goods not satisfacto-
4 Iry cheerfully and promptly ex-
changed"
: "Well, my man," said>a mill
0 tary doctor to a patient who had
|, been on slow diet for a long
time, show are you?" Much
better. sir.'' "Could YOU eat a