, 1879-01-05
SUNDAY SMILES.

The Oil City Derrick nomtnatesssTal for
| j Koond of Smut. I: r..
| It is not recorded whether .the hero Of the
food wns ever tarred, but manT aman has feath.
| cred an Noah.
'tMy dear bruddern, feel 's1f:1 could talk
more good In five minutes dan Icould do good
in year. .'-Rtv. Jusper.
When every writer who knows anything about
whales asserts that one Of the fish can't swallow
cood-sized apple, it can be realized, what a
dwarf Jonah was.
The New York Express speaks in high terms
OF TopladY's sSock OF Ajax" II is due to
the compositor to saY that 1t was not his fault,
but the fault Of the rum.
Talnlage says he belonged to four clubs. We
knew man to whom four clubs belonged. The
other man rakcd in the pot, as bootail lush
don't count.-Toledo Commercial.
The Washington Capital was evidently driven
to eytrcmitics when it said, - 4 loot should be
walked up at oncc, BECAUSE the: sole that slum-
bcrcth is in danger Of finding torment at the
last"
London laugh. at this: tTbe name William
ran lay claim tn most remote antiquity II
without improprietv We may imagine Cain ask
ing his brother, How are you this morning, eh,
Blli?'"
The youpr man who took up the collection in
church the other Sunday, when nothing but tive
cent pieces were forthcoming, remarked that 1t
was q neat bit OF nickcl-p l-plating.-New Haven
Register.
One OF the most delicate bits Of humor In the
Bible is Hosea's description OF EDhraim US "a
cake not turned" The prophet didn't want to
hurt Ephrain;s feelings BY calling him "halt-
ed."-Nep Ha0eu Register.
III wonder, uncle" said little girl, "if men
will ever yet live to be SUP Or l'ooo years old:.
.No, nv child" responded the old man, that
was tried once, and the race grew So bad that
thp world had to be drowned"
Here is a gem from recent Sunday-school
lyric:
love to ace my teacher's smile,
! loyr nv classmates too:
love to learn my lessons while
] yc nothing else tu 10.
The "h[ill River is higher than ever know n,
not excepting the great foou." says the te!e-
graph man at Northampton, Mass Are We to
Understand that the oldest iuhabitant Of NORTH
amption was contemporary oi NOAH !-fort~
ka'td {4le.) I'res*.
Royhood is candid, and middle-age, though it
NAV think the same things, Is reticcnt "What
nart.' asked a Sunday-school teacher, :" of
The Burial of Sir .Totln Moore do you like
bcstln He was thoughtful for a moment, and
then replicd: So Few aud short were the pray
ers We sald.'"
An old coored preacher in Atlanta. Ca, was
]ectus;ne youth Of his fold about the sin Of
dancing, when the latter protested that the
Bible piainIy said: There's time to dance"
s.Ycs; dar am a time to dancc,'' said the dark
divine; 'aud it's when boy gets whippin'
for 1wine to q ball"
A teacher asked one OF her class what was the
first line OF the piece OF poetry which described
Daniels feelings on being cast into tho lions
den.- The younestcr was posed. The teacher
snid. .sEDne come' sharply. Iherc3L the
uor exclaimed, hurre1ly: II know, miss; it
was Goodbye, sweetheart. goodbye"
Srenc: -Four examiners sitting on the body OF
one more unfortunate at the divinity schools.
Innocent of anything Scriptnral was lie. us
there no text in the whole Bible" said one, IN
grim despair, that you can tell us!n A light
said, with steady gaze, u I do remember one:
4 looked up and saw four great beasts" That
vDrlng man WIS Moved,