Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-08-22

Isn't it about time that David Davi
,ArsaA,..ll.1Q

isn't II about time that David Davis
was revictualled?
Uneasy lies the man who has already
been caught at it once or twice.
Governor Williams, Of Indiana, is
said to be so economical that he signs
his name" WINS"
Jefferson Davis health is improving.
And this is Just where the health gets
the start of Jefferson.
"The rag business is picking up
Bart Bonsall. And the old bone bust
ness is going to the dogs.
Base ball slang is looking up. You
mustn't say man strikes the ball any
more. He makes a " drive"
The house flies held their regular an
nual convention the first of this month,
aad unanimously resolved to adopt last
years platform without any changes.
A Baltimore publishing house has
just issued a volume of poems entitled
The broken lamp" All, ha? An
other non-explosive kerosene disaster,
Ell?
The Buffalo Express has it from Mr..
Tilden himself that General Grant will
not come home at all, or if he does, he
will come entirely unheralded and on
foot.
We can't understand why Stanley
Matthews does not come out and de-
cline the presidential nomination. The
first thing he knows it will be too late.
We declined it six weeks ago.
"While there's life there's hope"
Possibly, and yet the native who was
born in New Zealand last winter can't
have very much hope of being Presi-
dent OF the United States in 1880.
Probably no man so fully realizes
the hollowness of life and human ambi-
ton as the man who ladies teaspoon
full OF new-laid horse radish into his
mouth, under the impression that it is
ice cream.
1.-THE only real bitter tears" says
some one, are those shed in solitude. /"
You may bet your life that philosopher
never saw ten year old boy coming
out of the wood shed in company with
his father and skate strap.
They are pointing with pride, down
in Kentucky, to farmer who appro-
PIRATES the yearly product of one acre
OF his farm to buying reading matter.
Yes, and puts nearly every foot of the
other one hundred and fifty-nine acres
in tobacco, the animal that he is. A
nice example that is, to boast Of.
The women are dressing 80 much
like the men that half the time q young
teller can't tell, until the lamp is turned
up, whether he is occupying the big
rocking chair with the girl of his heart
or her brother. When it turns out to
be the latter, the succeeding develop
ments are, to say the least, very en-
barrassing.
In the stern arbitrament of arms"
said Congressman Blackburn, "they
smote us with the sword" They did,
they did. And if you don't behave
yourself they ought to turn you across
their knees and smite you with two
edged single. Can't you give your
chin holiday and let the country have
little rest?
Have you any objects Of interest in
the vicinity ?" the tourist asked the
Burlington man. II have, have"
eagerly replied the other, but can't
get at it to show it you. It's q ninety
days note and it's down in the bank
now, drawingiinterest like horse race
or mustard plaster" The traveller
smiled as though an angel had kissed
him. But it hadn't.
care sulphur matches popular in this
country?" asked the young man from
the East. sneezing and coughing as he
lighted his cigar. We'll, no." replied
the native, not very. They might
be, but the champion, down stairs, is
SO far ahead of anybody else, that there
don't appear to be any use for any one
else training against him. Hasn't been
q sulphur match played out here since
I've been in the country"
There was terrible fight at the West
Hill school yesterday afternoon. Two
boys, burning with rage and hate, got
on opposite sides Of the street aud called
each other niger" and "red head"
till the sun went down. The boy with
the red head was the maddest, but the
the colored boy had the loudest voice,
and consequently was declared the vic
tor. People who live in the neighbor-
hood say it sounded like COMPRESSION
al debate.
A man up on North Hill is just the
maddest man. He went to Philadel-
phis and paid $500 for a pure blood
dog, with pedigree longer than the
chronological table Of the kings of Eng
land, and the dog hadn't been home
two days before the next door neighbor
killed him with brick in his hen house
where the thoroughbred was sucking
eggs. Blood is as uncertain and rare
in dog as it is in a South American
battle.
The other day q man came to Bur
lington who owns !, 485 acres of land,
has ], 500 tons of hay in stack, and feeds
$50 head Of cattle, and heaven knows
how many sheep and hogs and horses.
And how do you suppose he came to
town? On load Of cord wood; and
he was dressed in the same old straw
hat he wore all last summer, and pair
of boots that hadn't been BACKED or
CREASED" since leather was invented,