Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1879-10-16

| Persian advisers; ''but do not touch him. "
/ SIR John sent for bricklayer, and gave
/ the order: '"Build wall all round that
bowling beggar in my garden, and then
roof il in"
The dervish looked on composcdly while
the wall slowly rose round him, and made
more noise than before; but when the roof
ing process commenced, and he awoke to
the knowledge that it was really intended
to entomb him alive, he clambered over the
wall, and rushed away like mailman,
never to trouble McNein again.
Some sixty years ago, certain York
shire living was held by company-loving
parson much in request at marriage merry
makingS whose clerk was equally welcome
at chri ,tening tea-fights. These two wor-
thies contrived to fall out SO il came TO
pass that when the clerk was due at a tea
party, he found himself obliged to forego
the anticipated muffin feast by reason of the
parSon requiring his attendance. He bore
the disappointment with tolerably good
grace, hoping for an opportunity for re
taliation. 1t was not long coming. On
Sunday-morning advised that the clergy
man was going to dine with newly we'd
ded pair, instead of giving out only part of
the hundred and nineteenth psalm, the
wicked fellow said, ''Let us sing to the
praise and glory of God the hundred-and-
nineteenth psam-all ont" Before his
victim was well aware of the treat in store
the musicians were fairly ON their way, re-
solved to so through their task, come what
might. Ii was weary work, but they
gravely persevered. Sometimes only one
instrument accompanying single voice
was to be heard; but singers and players
were determined to do their duty, and held
on somehow to the end and the parson
had to dine at home, inwardly confessing
the tables had fairly been turned upon him.
The Rev. DR.. Maclead, father of DR..
Norman Macleod, passing through the
crowd gathered before the doors of new
church he was about to open, was stopped
by an elderly man with: doctor, if you
please, wish to speak to you" Asked if
he could not wait until after worship, he
replied that it was matter upon his con-
science.
''Oh, since it is matter of conscience,
Duncan, said the good-natured minister,
Il will hear what it is"
well, doctor, said Duncan, 'the mat
ter is this. Ye see the clock yonder on the
new church. Now there is really no clock
there, only the face of one; there is no
truth there, only once in twelve hours; and
in my mind that is wrong, very wrong, and
quite against the conscience, that there
should be lie on the face of the house of
the Lord"
The doctor promised to consider the mat
ter, But" said he, I'm glad to see you
looking so well, man. ''You're not young.
| remember you for many years; but you
have a fine head of hair STILL"
"Eh, doctor" exclaimed the unsuspect
ing Duncan, ''now ye're joking. It's long
since had my hair"
DR.. Macleod looked shocked, and an
swered, in tone of reproach: ooh Dun
can Duncan are you going into the house
of the Lord with a lie on your head 2" He
heard no more of the lie on the face of the
church. -
A well-merited repartee was dealt by a
smart Rlidshipman to the daughter of X.
c. B. at a ball given by the latter to the
naval officers on the North Pacific station.
The MILDLY was bold enough to ask the
young lady 10 accept him for her partner
''Oh dear, no." said the supercilious
beauty. MA never allows me to dance
with midshipmen. Somebody let her know
the MILDLY was Lord, and she repented,
and reminded him that he was engaged to
her for the next dance.
The youngster however, wasnot so easily
Modified, and remembering the lady had
native blood in her veins, smilingly replied:
''Oh dear, no. Ma never allows me to
dance with squaws."
Said one play going young fellow to an
other:
81 was at the Gaiety last night for the
sixteenth time, and took a look round the
pit to see if you were there.
But noways disconnected by the insinua-
ton. the subject of his "chaff" retorted:
What been 80 many times to the Gaiety,
and not know that you can't see the pit
from the gallery
Fairly paid in her own coin wasthe Pari-
sian dame VINO, answering a wet-tooted
visitors request for the loan of a pair of
slippers, by saying, Certainly, my dear,
if you think mine will fit YOU" received
the clever reioinuer: 81 dare say they will,
dear, if you tell your maid to put cork
sole inside them.' '
You have given me Scotch whisky; l
asked for Irish,' complained hurried inn
biber.
'sNever mind, " SAID the publican; ''fancy
it's Irish.''
The man drank up the liquor, and made
for the door.
''stopl" cried Boniface; "you haven't
paid me-"
''Never mind; fancy have" said his
customer, and away he went.
Too Trusting.
"Mary Jane Marsh, didn't l say to