The daily gazette., 1879-11-20
My First and Only Love,
BY .. ". T.

1t has often been . matter Of wonder
to me why loved Elwyn Ashton as I
did. Not that he was not oil, In Its best
and truest sense, that woman can and
must love, but because, looking back
ward through the vista Of twenty years,
and seeing what q mere child l was, II
seems strange that . man precisely such
As he should 80 completely have won to
himself the very heart and soul OF so
young girl, and kept 1t, utterly with
out effort-kept 1t 30 that not the barrier
Of long years, nor the memory OF
cruel wrong, nor even the grave-stone
that In the churchyard lies between him
and me, can obliterate or even make
| dim the love that c0nsecra Cd me to him
when little better than = child, and has
kept me faithful to him through the trial
Of long and lonely years.
He was twelve Year, my senior, and
only eighteen and loved him.
| l remember we'll how glOriously the
sun shone OH that summer afternoon
when We stood together on the lawn
waiting for the carriage to arrive that
should bring Aunt Eleanor to spend
some weeks n our house. How the
ocean danced and sparkled, and the wet
sands looked like FURNISHED gold, and
the trees In the long avenue seemed to
catch the golden drops OF light, and to
let them fall through their eager arms
upon the gravel-pa.h below. And We
stood there waiting, he and l, laughing.
ly decking each other with roses and
viDe-leaves, he seemingly 30 amused
and pleased with childish mirth; 90
proud Of him, so happy at the prospect
Of seeing Aunt Elcanor's admiration for
my noble darling, so shy at his admira-
tion for myself, 30 hopeful that they
would like each other and be friends.
"For sha is very beautiful, Elwyn"
I sad, "and only ten years older than
am."
can see now tho quiet laugh in bis
dark eyes, and the playful curve Of the
lips, as Of one hunoring q petted chlld
"a strange wife should have been fol
, him, after ali. Aud then there was I
sound of wheels, and drawing my arm
in his, he led me to the front entrance
to welcome my aunt.
do not clearly remember when tn
first feeling Of jealousy stole into n!
mind. l think sea ceiy understood
when first it did come. He had neve
= changed to me; was ever uppermost II
his thoughts; all his most graceful at
tentions were mine; yet saw plainl
that he found In her conpanionship
was far fr, IN being able 10 give, for wa
only darling plaything, beloved an
petted child. But do know the frs
misery, the earliest dark misgiving, ha
taken its hold, when one evening 50
e my hand caressing his, listening to bill
and her 10 they talked pleasantly upo
things too wise for my little head; au
asI l. oked from one to the other, an
D. thought how much they had in common
and how Insignificant was by compar
8. half angry with her.
saw she was trying her best to lei
81 him away-him Of whom queen migi
be proud; and saw that he admired b
--lier whose beauty and accomplish
ments had turned the heads aud hear
OF those almost as good and wise as b
And what bad to compete with thes
noted we'll how bright and animate
she was, and the admiring look that ke
deepening in his eyes, aud the incre asi
S interest Of voice and manner As the 20
versation progressed, until gradually t
hand l held became unconscious
mine, and, when l loosened my no
slipped away to extend itself for grea
emphasis toward her. And then ro
pain and heartsick, to say, "Go
? night"
y awe have not had our usual walk,
: night, birdie" he said:
4 "No," l answered, laconically.
I "It Is too late now," looking at
> watch.
eyes"
"Wbat il the mstter?" asked my au
care you unwell?"
"No," again.
Then she laughed, low and melodio
n ly.
Y "You had better 60 to bed, child"
~ Child! Suddenly, and with qui
sharp pain, Is ii one struck by lightn'
felt all that her words were intent
or to convey-to him, though not to M
and rs suddenly the child became .
man.
ne "Walk down the avenue with me O
only once, Elwyn," l said; "my b
aches"
wi h his old caressing touch, he
It's justed my shawl, then hesitated
VI ment, ODu SAlu, uhii iSiuSeons'J
" "Wlli you? Shall ?"
knew what he meant, and tur
q with all the dignity l could assume.
"Aunt Eleanor, If you wish to Co
d 70 too, you may"
;i.:i ;li II may, may I~ she answered,
1"si 'S' tishly. "Thanks! But If It's all
,%.. .y,i same to you prefer not"
pri "Elwyn," said, when we were GU
,.Ss ,.ns her hearing-for felt must menl
.s.1 the subject or die, almost-"Elwyn,
.s sIin; aunt has been here more than me
,ssi.s now--now do you like herr"
.lss "She is charming" he said, homes
ain "charming."
4 "a: "Ah," said, $50 they all say, so'
il the or later"
nsTs MR. "They ?" he asked; "who are the
"Men."
n:s!. 4 g: He laughed, and drew my arm thro
nEtsp ;tsg his, and weS finished the walk IL
gives i've; lence. Then, when we had reached
y: . :.s Ct font door, and I held up my lips for
usual kiss, he said:
y % "She Is very charming, but my bal
'esTss. worth ten of her."
and uOl, ~ T sobhed. throwing myself