Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-06-04
A Family Jar.

Philemon HAYES and Fanny Ray had
been Just three weeks married
They sat at breakfast in their coZy dining
room one fine morning in summer, totally
infatuated with each other. Never such
happiness as theirs before, The felicity of
Adam and his lady before they made the
acquaintance of the serpent was not TO be
mentioned in the same breath.
They kissed each other between every
cup of coffee, and embraced twice-some-
times thrice-during every meal Just now
they were speaking of disagreements. Some
friends of theirs had fallen out, and refused
to fall in again.
1--WE never will disagree, will we, Phil,
dearl" asked Mrs Fanny.
..Disagree, VIII the heavens fall!" re-
turned Phil.
Il sincerely hope not. 1t would be de
cidedly disagreeable," laughed Fanny !;
s.but, if / thought we should ever quarrel
and have harsh thoughts toward each other,
| should be tempted to terminate my exist
ence"
INV precious Fanny" cried Phil, spring
ing up and upsetting the toast plate on the
carpet, of which he was perfectly oblivious
in his eagerness to get his arms arounc Fan
ny-.'my foolish little darling, as IL we
should ever be so absurd "a kiss, May be
drawn and quartered (another kiss if ever
speak one word that shall cause tear to
fill the divine eyes of my dearest "a third
explosion) Fanny"
80, how happy you make me, Phil. l
shall try so hard to be just the faithful, low
ing wife you deserve. Now finish your
breakfast, deary The toast will be grow
ing cold And o, Phil, did you notice Mrs.
Smiths horrid new bonnet last nightl l
declare it destroyed all my pleasure in the
music do wish people who wear such
distasteful bonnets would stay at home from
these delightful concerts
$50 do /, Fanny. l noticed the ugly
thing the moment we entered the hall.
Blue flowers and pink ribbons, and she as
dark as a Creole"
s.No. nv love: the flowers were green.
Green and blue look so much alike by gas
light"
Il know they do, but noticed it so par
ticularly that 1 could not be deceived.
especially light blue-looks fearfully
on dark k-complexioned woman"
% IL uDts L AdAAt d-iSS "Aeh W.
dear. But the flowers were not blue, they
were green. | saw them at Mrs. Gray S
shop before they were purchased.
s.My dearest-Fanny, of course you
think yourself right, love, but have very
good eve for color, and noticed these flow
ers with great attention. Blue anemones
with yellow centers."
s1Green hibuscus with white centcrs, my
dear Phil Very pretty for light
woman, but horrid for brunette.
''Why, Fanny, how absurd, As if |
could not determine a color when | studied
it half the evening""
s.But it was by gas light, my love. 1t
would look altogether different by daylight.
1t was such pale green.
at was such pale blue. remember |
thought of the sky before a storm.
..And | thought of the sea 1t was near
" sea-green."
''why, Fanny-ridiculous! 1t was sky
blue"
sHow you do contradict me, my Phile
mon 1t was very light green.
'sAnd insist it was blue.
sDo YOU mean to tell me | liel"
81 mean to tell you you are mistaken.
(Which amounts to the same thing.
.'You make the application, Mrs Fanny
Hayes"
s.Mr. Philemon Hayes"
''Fanny!"
81 say it was green, sir.
81 saw il was blue-so there.
ssYou are wretch, Phil-a real mean,
beartless wretch, Phil-a real mean, heart
less wretch" and Fanny pushed back her
plate angrily. ,
aAnd YOU are an opinionated, self-willed
woman" and Phil, in his agitation, upset
the coffee, scalding the cats back and HIM
self at the same time.
1.-The deuce," cried he, rubbing his red
fingers with his handkerchief. Il wish L
had never seen a woman.
''What's that, sir"
sConfound the women. They're curse
to the world"
.sYou brute," cried Mrs. Hayes, now
thoroughly insensed; ''take that. and,
Selling the plate of mullins, she took aim at
Pills head but, being woman, her ann
was not so accurate as it might have been,
and the plate went through the window,
smashing in the tile of Fftz James Jones,
who was passing, and the mullins were
scattered in wild confusion about the room.
Phil was indignant. He laid his hand on
the poker. .,.
ssOh, strike." exclaimed Fanny. I'll
will only be in place with your other con-
duct. Don't let any notions Of honor re-
strain you, because you never had any.
sFanny, beware; you try me too lar;
sTIl 90 home to pa, that / will. You
inhuman monster you'll be divorced