Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-03-27
Sips ofFun.

w lIu all the variety OF canned
goods in the market, We have
yet to hear of canned hash.
A jealous wife snatched hel
husband bald headed last week
for talking in his sleep about
Ann Arbor.
The only reason why we dc
not see ourselves as others see us
is because We can't. be looking
everywhere at once.
The only time any one ever
favors politics in the pulpit is
when he hears the clergyman go
for the opposition.
When a widower and widow,
both with children, get married
nowadays, they call it pooling
their issues"
Every man is made better by
the possession of a good picture,
if it is only a landscape on the
back of a dollar note.
"Look out for the paint!'
shouted a boy in the gallery of
"a Chicago theatre, when the he
70 of the play kissed the heroine.
In a Danbury clothing store
is a card announcing: Perfect
ly-fitting garments. Every ar
ticle sets as good as a hem
A patent medicine advertiser
says fat is. not conducive to long
life. That's so. A fat hog rare
ly lives through the winter.
q Mrs. Partington says she has
hunted and hunted and can't
find out who said, s;That Ruth
crushed to earth shall rise again"
= The price for drawing a tooth.
in Chicago is one dollar. This
would seem an outrageous price,
but it takes one man to hold the
patients cheek back.
A young doctor spends his
hours practicing on the
cornet, and passers-by, thinking
an amPutation is going on in
side, are deluded as to the mum
Der of the mans patients.
If Noah had advertised in the
newspapers the exact hour at
which the ark would sail, there
would not have been so many
lives lost in the flood.
CAS- to having half a hus-
band" says Mormon lady spite
fully, "that is a good deal more |
than many of you eastern wo-
men are likely to get" Oppress-
i've silence.
1t takes twenty yards of dress
goods to make a fashionable la
dy's dress nowadays-six to wear
On her person and fourteen to
carry in her right hand or up un-
der her elbow.
A San Francisco man has lust
invented a boot-making machine.
He warrants that any boot it
turns out will kill an ordinary
man with one square kick, and
.be- most hardened book agent
with twenty.
A Yankee humorist was Civ
ng an account of his experience
Is hotel-keeper. sDid you
clear anything by it?" asked
listener. 81 cleared a six-railed
.ence getting away from the
was the ready answer.
Bashful lover (to his sweet
leartl: "Ahem, miss, / want to
zee your father, I've an impor-
ant matter to propose to him."
I oung lady (considerately):
I'm sorry papa is not at home,
out coulden't you propose to me
ust as well?'' "He did, with
perfect success. Jar
An Omaha belle recently re-
,eiyed present of a pair of
;wenty-four button kid gloves
rom one Of her admirers. She
wrote him a letter of thank in :
which she frankly told him he
lad made a mistake in the size, !
,ut she. had remedied it by cut
ing off the feet and only wear /
ng9the legs HHvg9 Z i,
"Did You say that / never
missed q drink, sir?'' asked a !
nan of neighbor, in an angry
md threatening manner. 81
nay have. done so,'' replied the ;
leighbor. "Buti you know I !
lever drink, and detest the
smell of liquor" said the other.
well, then, returned the neigh
Dor, "you never miss drink do
7ou2" That putthe matter in a
lifferent light and they took a
smoke together.
A railroad company, suspect
ng dead-heads, put a detective
IN the track. One day he heard /.
! passenger remark that it was ,,
7ery easy to go from E. to
D without a ticket. Get ,
ing into a conversation with the
he said: '1'd like to i
1now your plan for travelling /
/