The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1879-04-10
Handy to Have in the House.

There are some men who are consid-
cred desirable rs husbands, and others
who are quoted as hardly worth the
house room they occupy or the proven,
der they consume. Of the latter kind
was the little man concerning whom his
wife dreamed that she went to q country
fair where husbands were exposed for sale.
On his begging her to tell what she found
the price to be of such as himself, she
replied, after some hesitation, that she
saw similar article of husbands put up
in punches of dozen, and offered at a
shilling bunch. Such husband is in
deed a protitless possession. A shrewd
woman in New York found herself the
wife of this kind of piece of goods.
He was idle and shiftless, and of so lit
tie financial experience that even inls
those rare instances in which he syn;
ceeded in earning any money, he va
unable to keep it long enough to bring
it home. Instead of supporting his wife,
he was burden on her, and an expense
to her. To avoid the otherwise inevita-
BILE journey to the poor house, she was
compelled to work, and to support the
whole impecunious family.
But there is a lining of silver to even
the most leaden cloud, and this strug-
ling woman happily discovered that her
man had one talent which she might
turn to profitable account. He could
carve at dinner parties, and this was the
only thing he could do. In doing this
he was crowning success. He had no
more skill at making contracts than at
bringing money home. So the thrifty
housewife concluded not to turn him
adrift 10 starve, as she feared would be
necessary, but to keep him at home, and
rent him out as opportunity offered.
From time to time she sought out all the
people she could find who being about TO
give entertainments, might need the SER
vices of a skilled manipulation of the
carving-knife. Explaining to these peo-
pie the peculiar condition of her domes-
tic affairs, she would hire her husband
out for fixed sum, stipulating that the
money should be paid to herself, and not
to him. An interesting and a novel
style of law suit now arises from q mis-
take in the payment. The husband had
earned seven dollars for carving at the
dinner party of q nabob. The nabob
thoughtlessly paid him the money, and
he as thoughtlessly spent it before he
reached home. Thereupon the wife un-
dertook to collect from the nabob the
stipulated sum, basing her claim on the
fact that as the poor man was sort of
nobody, payment to him was no
payment at all. The nabob re-
sisted the endeavor to collect second
seven dollar fee from him, alleging that
he had paid the person who did the
work, and that if that improvident indi-
vidual had nothing to show for it, the
misfortune should Justly fall on the poor
fellow himself. The wife successfully
resisted this argument by showing that
she was the contracting party, and that
she had hired her husband out just as
livery keeper would hire out horse, in
which latter case, it would be manifestly
improper and insufficient to claim that
payment consisted in handing the money
to the animal. The woman retires tri-
umphantly from court, happy in the
peaceful possession of bit of property
from which, when rented out she can
draw substantial income.
1t is not lawful in this country to ex-
pose husband for sale, but the fact is
now established that one may be kept
for hire. The lesson is one which will
carry comfort to many an embarrassed
girl who, having blundered into mar
riage, finds that she has on her hands 4
lazy and lounging person, who is of no
particular use. If she can discover even
one talent, and turn that to account, she
may set the otherwise Improbable fcl-
low to work by renting him out to do the
only thing he understands. Thus is
hope in store for many sorrowful wo-
man, thus may affluence await the
thrift of the wife who is shrewd enough
to untilize shiftless and burdensome
husband.-Philadelphia Times.