The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-08-14
PASSING SMILES.

/ GOSPEL service the plate that 1s
passed around in church.
IF poverty is a disgrace, mended
stockings are q darned shame.
ANOTHER case of husband beating is
reported from Rochester. Is man a
failure? ---z-s~-z, ---..-.
WHEN writer was asked what he 4
was doing, he answered: "O-pen-ing an
article"
Mexico allows q million bushels of &
hucklebefries to 90 to grass for want Of
picking-Detroit Free Press.
ONE of the new planets is named
Trigger. It's an air trigger, and goes of
ON its own axis. f,..;s..r
WAsHERwOMEN,, too, report a great
increase in the iron business - Cincinnati
Saturday Night. sssS fseFfagFrY
IT is a green apple that does not
know it's own wormhole.-NesU Orleans
Picayune. -,..,,...... ..-...... "a
QUARANTINE is game in which it
is necessary to turn Jack in order to
win Cincinnati. Gazette, ,,.-.
+. BAD fruit, ,paradoxical as it may
seem, is the thing to bait the cholera
Neao York Mail @'fs
| aALLRGAToR belts and bags are highly
fashionable. The same may be said of
| crocodile tears. 4 - ii a94
| CHEESE cloth dresses are all the rage.
1t is very rude to tell the girl of the
period to cheese it.
Does anybody know why its called
| Ko-ko-mo p Meridep Recorder. 1t is
called Cocoa mo- than it used to be2-s
NeD York Mall 779aI a. .4si5 1855
i "A VReINIAsJ Judge holds that nus
band cannot be slandered by his wife.
They are one in the eyesof the law, and
she has right to SANDER either half
i Detroit Free Press, III -.8 fse-.oz 81
4 How rapidly, says the Burlington
HaWkeye, a man loses all interest in
politics and national finances when he
shuts door on his own thumb.
!" BRILLIANT and impulsive people,"
said a lecturer on physiognomy, have
black eyes, or, if they don't have 'em,
they're apt to get ''em, i they're too
impulsive." -....
-SAsHEs are coming in fashion again
for young ladies who plead the baby
act, and are very shy of telling their
age. Window sashes will never 60 out
Of fashion. .ssta,i 3
| IF she doesn't want to run away with
him and doesn't like to tell him so, she
can send him cantaleupe and he will
know what it means if he understands
the language of flowers. -...e,
I "A BOOK canvasser in Indianapolis was
told by a lawyer that she had better be
mending her stockings, and it took him
over half an hour to realize that he had
been knocked down by stone ink
bottle.-DetroH Free Press. .sq a
=; AN old money-lender refused to lend
musician small sum, saying, " You're
not safe man. There's too much mu-
sic of the future in your business"
"What do you mean by that?" asked
the musician. ]" / mean that you make
too many promissoryi notes." was the
4 reply. m. ..e...a zza,
"DARN foolp' said wilkins to his
wife. Certainly" replied Mrs. Will
kins, fourishing a -darning-needle.
/" Whereabouts are you worn out?"
"Some people are too smart to live
long, retorted he. "My DEAR" she an
swered, sweetly, ."let me congratulate
You upon your fair prospect for a long
life" --..g. ~ 10
The Elmira Gazette hits the women
this stunning blow: When some
, women get to be angels, they'll spend
, half of their time comparing the
! feathers on their wings. and the other
| half flying around looking in their
neighbors' second-story windows" -
+ sqTYoU love me7" echoed the fair
young creature, as her pretty head oiled
the collar of his summer suit. Yes"
said he, you are my own and only"
: .f Hush!" she interrupted, "don't say
that-be original That sounds too
much like circus show-bill. ~ Rock
i land Courier yis ir iT'
Ice in New York has gone up in price
because it has become sadly mildewed.
The talk of the depreciation of the
2 harvested crop by worms has no basis
: in fact-,Sonerville Journal. No, worms
don't get a chance even to look at the
J ice, here, except worms that drink cock
tails.-Neac York Evening Erpress.
"LooK at de pieanna, folkses," said
old Sam johnson, the other night, to
roomful of his sable friends;" look at
: de pieanna. Dere is whar yous see an
, illegory, showing the proper spear OBJ de
: brack man. Doan yous see de common
, notes, the white trash down in de lower
8 row, all run togedder like white
s washed boa'd fence? An up in the
. balconia yous see de brack notes, de
s. people OBJ color, arranged in select as
t semblies of twos and frees. ."-Boston
:. Transcript. -er .1F
. ONE of our Western men was guest
at a White Mountain hotel where the
!. walters are Massachusetts schOolma'ams
I At the dinner table he said to one of
: them, "Miss, won't you please pars the
4 butter ?" Butter" said the school
ma'am, very promptly, :" is noun !;
; common noun, because it is the name OF
!, a thing, and very poor thing, some
times singular number, if strong enough
!. to 60 alone; feminine gender. mostly, as
: may be seen by the. long hairs often
Z found in it; and, Judging from the odor
! of this, it must be in the objective case.
. governed by a delicate smell under
stood" The Western man stared and
= said he believed he would try and get
Q along without any butter if that was
: what allied it.-Cincinnatt Saturday
!. Night. 7e, IL .' ''