The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-05-29
MULTUM IN PARyO.

MULTUM IN PARvO.
THE Army Bill-William T. Sher-
man.
MONEY that bank officers get away
with is charged to running expenses.
"TEAsPooN CORNER" is q locality
in Ingham County, Mich. It must be
a stirring place-Norristown Herald.
AsEA-voYAGE is a good remedy for
hard times. A few hours from shore
and it will seem to you that everything
is coming up:
MORE frogs legs are eaten in Amer.
lea than in France. And so there
should be. Is not our National game
croak. h?-Philadelphia Bulletin.
HUSBANDS farewell: dear Sal,
the doctor tells me our baby's tooth
won't be through for three weeks vet;
till then, good-by; you always said you
loved it more than did,"
AN old bachelor seeing the words,
Families supplied" in the window of
the oyster saloon, went in and said he'd
take wife and two children-a boy
and girl.-Boston american Punch.
"THE moon is always Just the same"
he said. languidly, "and vet l always
so with the circus" she answered. He
took the hint and bought tickets for
two.
A THIEF is really a profound philoso-
pher and always a candid thinker-that
is, he looks at everything in an abstract
way, and if you reason with him he is
open and liable to conviction. albany
argus.
IT was little girl of four years, in
Winsted, Conn.,, who, having repeated
the Lords Prayer for her nurse, got
permission to offer a petition for her
self, and then prayed to be made twin
older), and that she might wake up ON
the morrow and lind her hair long.
IT is often remarked that "the boy
is father to the man." This may be
true, but we know that after the snow
ball has knocked off the mans hat, it
is father to the boy than it is to the
next corner, by a long sight, and the
man will find it out if he is foolish
enough to chase the boy.-Burlington
Ho,csc-Eye.
SCENE (group of medical students
animatedly discussing the difficulties of
diagnosis): Young doctor attached to
the service of a hospital: II am never
at fault. discover the nature of the
complaints of all my patients, without
exception" ''After the autopsy"
murmured an old college companion
who knew him well.
The managers of the Southern Edu-
cational Association contemplate post
poning the meeting of that body until
the Christmas holidays, or possibly un-
til next year. The editor Of the Eclec-
tic Monthly assigns as a reason for this
action, in part, the possible reappear-
ance of the yellow fever in the South
during the summer.
One Of the school-board, going his
rounds as an amateur, put the follow
ing question to a scholar in a country
school: "How do you parse Mary
MIXED the cow'P' The last word was
disposed of as follows: "Cow is q
noun, feminine gender, singular num-
Der, third person, and stands for Mary"
"Stands for Mary!' exclaimed he of
the board. "How do you make that
out?'' Because" added the intelli-
gent pupil, eff the COW didn't stand
for Mary, how could Mary milk herP'
IN. Y. Independent.
"a Doc FANc1ER" takes exception
to Prof. Huxley's assertion that Sc one
of the most curious peculiarities of the
dog-mind is its inherent snobbishness,
shown by the regard paid to external
responsibility. The dog who banks fu-
riously at beggar will let a we'll
dressed man pass him without oppo-
sition." He says that the facts are that
only the dogs of well-dressed persons
act so. Dogs accustomed to rags and
dirt bark more furiously not at beg
gars, but at persons clothed in sleek
broadcloth. Y. EUening Fost.
"MY DEAR said Miss Clara Morris
to Mr.. Clara Morris at the Palmer
House the other day, care you quite
ready for dinner?'' lawfully quite,
my love-" Have you laid out the
paste diamond for the chambermaid to
steal?' eyes, ducky." "And writ
ten the usual note to the Chief of Po-
lice ready for mailing?" Everything
regular. my pet" "And ordered q
nice, gentle horse to runaway with me
to-morrow?'' eyes, DEAR" "And
sent those marked copies of the .moxa'
operation to the Sunday papers?'
Certainly" "And did you tell that
reporter intended to buy two-hun-
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. banana plantation
somewhere?'' "All attended to, sweet
est" "Then let us look unhappy and
60 down" -Chicago Times.
A BALL was given recently in mine
at Gold Hill, New, at point 1,O40 feet
below the surface. A local newspaper
says: "The station is quite as large as
an ordinary ballroom, well floored,
walled in with substantial timbers and
has quite lofty ceiling. The room
was cool and comfortable, was appro-
priately decorated for the occasion and
was lighted with lamps suspended from
the ceiling. The ladies were dressed
in calico and the gentlemen in corre-
spondingly inexpensive raiment. The
furniture was in keeping with the
place, and while there was furnished
everything necessary to comfort moth
ing very extravagant was seen. Never
before in the United States-if any
where in the world-has there been
given ball at the depth of nearly a
quarter of mile beneath the surface
of the earth. There was no trouble
about persons slipping into the ball
room without tickets. It was queer
way, too, of going to ball, this step
ping upon a cage instead of into car
riage and being darted straight down
toward the center of the EARTH"
Bridal Costumes.
SATIN, the traditional fabric for
wedding dresses, is also the fashion
able choice this season. Both plain
and brocaded satins are used; the lat.
ter are in large leaf or flower pat
terms, or else in small polka dots. In
some rich dresses the entire dress is of
plain satin. while in others brocaded
satin is used for the corsage and train,
with plain satin for the front and sides
of the skirt. Modistes say the we'd
ding dress has distinctive style pecu-
liar To IL. sonewhat severe. and on.