Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-07-16
Advice to a New Choir Singer.

Advice to a New Choir Singer.
Dear Miss: This is an important epock
into your life. The first thing to make
good quire singer is to gjggle a little.
Put your hair in Girl papers every
Friday mite soze to have it in good shape
Sunday morning. If your dady is rich
you can buy some store hair. Ir he is
very rich buy some more and build up
high onto your head; then get high
priced bonnet that runs up very high,
at the high part Of it. and get the millin-
er to plant some high grown artitishels
onto the highest part of it. This will
help you sing high soprano in the high
est part.
When the tune is Civ out, don't pay
attention to it, and then giggIe. Gggle
good eel.
Whisper to the girl next to you that
En- Jones, which sets on the second seat
from the front on the left-hand side. has
her bunnit with the same color exact she
had last year, and then put your book
TO your face and giggle.
Object to every tune unless there Is
solow into it for the sophranc. Golf
and ham a good eel before YOU begin to
sing.
When you sing a solow shake the
artifshels Oft your bunnit, and when
you come to a high tone brace yourself
back little, twist your head to one side,
and open your mouth the widest on
that side, shet the eyes on the same side
just triple, and then put in for dear
life.
When the preacher gets under he'd
way with his preachin, write note on
the blank leaf into the fourth part of
your note book. That's what the
blank leaf was made for. Git sumhody
to pass the note to sumbody else, and
you watch them while they read 1t, and
then giggle.
If anybody talks or laffs in the con-
gregashun, and the preacher takes motifs
Of 1t, that's good chance to giggle, and
you ought to giggle a good eel. The
preacher darsent say anything to yOn
bekaus you are in the quire. and he
can't run the meetin' house at both ends
without the quire. IF you had bow
before you vent into the quire give him
the mitten-you ought to have SOMEBODY
better now.
Don't forget to giggle.-Josh Billings.
The St. Louis Republican says: "Just
after the war, when initiation prices
painted pictures Of fortunes IN all kinds
of city and town vocations, when bank
ing, insurance and agency business were
supposed to Weld wealth without limit,
and when it was believed that fortunes
could be made by merely organizing
some sort of stock company and put
ting the shares on the market, there
was a general focking of young men
| from farms 10 cities and towns, to get
rich without labor. But the delusion
has ended in bitterness and disappoint-
ment to thousands all over the land,
and proved that the living by the wits is
| one that very few can thrive at. We
are beginning TO realize that farming
possesses one pre-eminent merritt
will yield living if nothing more, and
that is more than can be said of many
city pursuits. It is generally esteemed
plodding, unromantic business; but
this is Offset by its exemption from the
harassments and tragic features that
too often mark the painful and ex-
hausted struggle for the maintenance Of
credit and social position in city life.
It requires but small capital to go to
farming. This offers simple solution
of the livelihood problem to all vino
are willing to work, and it is gratifying
to find that the fact is beginning to be
realized by many weary of prolonged
idleness in Cities"