New-York tribune., 1879-05-06
THE HORRORS OF PERIHELIA.

His name is not Grim as it might be, but Grim
mer which is propererj and he lives in San Jose,
Cal. He has published pamphlet called " The
Voice of the Stars" and most melancholy voice
ii is. 1t sets forth the intOerable things which are
TO happen in consequence of " the perhelia OF the
four great planets, Jupiter. Uranus, Neptune and
Saturn, in 1850, OF between 1880 and 1897" The
effect of the approach to the sun simultaneously of
so many great bodies, Grimmer says, will be un-
speakably disastrous to own. According to this
San jose astrooger, among other pleasant results,
"eyery drop of water in the Earth, and above the
Earth. and on the Earth will be more or less poi
sOnOus." Then will come seven sorrowful years.
Ancient races will be blotted from the face of the
Earth, Fifteen millions of the inhabitants of
America will die, unless stringent sanitary measures
are adopted as they will not be, for everybody
knows that they never are. Then will come storms
and tidal waves and tornadOes, with volcanic
actions of tho worst sort mountains and valleys
will change places and "naVigatOrs grow pale with
alarm at the capriciOus dellexure of the needle"
The particularly energetic way in which volcanoes
will "belch forth their lava" the sufocating fumes
of sulphur which will escape from the Earth, the
sudden disappearance of islands, including, per-
haps, the island Of Manhattan. with an un-
precedented number of shipwrecks. will be
followed by fanaticsm bloodshed. murder and
robbery; while remarks Grimmer) "eyery one
will be absorbed in the trying task Of keeping
aliyer The poor VIII die by tens of thousands
The doctors will raise their prices; but Mr.. Grim
mcr advises everybody when these dying times
arrive to put no faith in physicians, but to take
copous draughts of warm water, abstain from
animal food, and wear cotton dipped in camphOr in
the nostrils. The pestilence will rayage until 1885,
and then will fires which will rage with fury
until 1887. The sun will discharge oceans of fam
ing hydrogen gases. There will be tremendous
showers of meteors. Dense black clouds will veil
the sun for days. Binding flashes OF lightning will
lumine the sombre sky. The flesh-eater and alco-
holic imbiber will go hand.n-hand to the grave
Strife, discord, war, floods, inundatIons-but
enough! No longer let us dwell upon the coming
catastrophe. 1t should be mentioned, however
that according to GrImmer General Grant viii be
elected President in 1850, and reelected in 1854
In 1897 he will DO III special danger from railway
collisions, after which he will have series of years
of peace aud happiness and "die idozed by this
country. and respected and hOnored by the world
The great Grimmer, as a citizen of California, is
naturally disposed to let off that State easily. Ii
will be the last and least sufferer from the most
malignant plague era the world has ever known
"The Pacific States" We are told, will be a veri-
table Paradise of peace compared with the hellish
strife that will be waging throughout the wOrld.'
We see how it was. Grimmer evidently was afraid
of the Vigilance Committee, should he venture to
include San jose in the general ruin. He would
have been waited upon by deputaton of the most
energetic citizens, and compelled to revise his cal
culations. With one end of a rope about his neck
and the other tied to some convenient branch,
Grimmer would have been made to figure out moth
ing but good luck and plenty of whskey to San
Jose from 1850 10 1883. He sagaciously escapes
his fate. He kills off the rest OF us but he spares
the Californians. What is there for TO do but to
appoint an opposition Grmmer Of our own, who
will deduce for comfort from "the perihelia of
the four great planets nothing but health. pros
perity, and d good time generality