The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1879-10-23
Seeing President Hayes About a School
House.

Yesterday afternoon there was one
man in the crowd around the City-hall
who said he must have personal inter-
view with the President if it broke his
suspenders. He had come 20 miles in a
lumber wagon on purpose to see the
''old man =" and have him settle a neigh
borhood dispute regarding the location
of schOol-hOuse.
"You see,' he explained to an inter-
esting knot of listeners, '' the Thomas
crowd are bound and determined to 10
cate the School-house down there by the
Widder Hull's, which is the worst place
on the hull road, while the rest of us
want it up on the jackson Hill, which
| is airy and salubrious and handy to two
creeks and a mill-pond. The Thomas
crowd are cracking their heels just now,
and they think they've got the bulge on
us, but | rather think if the President of
the great United States. decides in favor
of the hill the school-house will be plant
ed there. It's little dodge of mine to
see him. The Thomas crowd don't even
suspect what I'm up to, and when l
reach home tonight there'n be wailing
and crashing of teeth; and don't you
recOllect ito
There were men in the crowd who
sympathized with him and were willing
o aid him IN securing an interview. 1t
took only about ten minutes to so ar
range matters that the schooi-house man
was walked around to the southern en-
trance of the hall and introduced to ex-
Coroner Cahill, who looks as near like
Hayes as one pea resembles another
The President " bowed, shook hands,
and with kindly smile, inquired:
"Well, Mr.. Slammer, what can do
for you? Don't be afraid to speak right
out; l used to wear old clothes and car
ry a red nose myself, and | am ready to
sympathize with you"
Mr.. Slammer WINGED a little at this
personal allusion, which was responded
to by hoarse laugh from the little
crowd, but he soon got his breath and
began:
"Well, you perhaps don't know the
Thomas cTowd?n
Yes, | do-you bet do,'' respond
ed the President, land they are mighty
good crowd of boys, too
"They-are-eh slowly inquired
Mr.. Slammer. "Why,I don't think So"
81 can't help what you think, - blunt
" replied the President, as he cooked
his hat on his ear. 81 tell you the boys
are all right, and I'll bet on 'em every
time. You can't give me no wind on
that crowd-no, siri ="
Then-then you've heard about that
school-house trouble, eh?" gasped Mr..
Slammer.
ayes, l have, and you've got to
come right down off the roost! That
school-house is going to be built down
by the Widow Hull's, and don't you for
get it! ."
"What! down thar in the holler?"
eyes, sir-that'S the place for it;
can't get me to favor putting any
schOol-house on your internal old hill. -
"Waal, Mr.. President, I'm sorry
that
Sorry be hanged,n interrupted the
"Chief Magistrate" in gruff voice.
What do care how sorry you are?"
"Why-why-!"
"Don't you why at me, sir-don't you
do it! Although I'm the President of
the United States, I'll allow no man to
why at mel"
why"
"You villain" roared the. Executive,
as he made grab for Mr.. Slammer's
collar, but Mr.. Slammer stepped back
about ten feet at that moment and was
hustled around the corner.
"Well?" inquired one of the party as
they came to a halt.
''Waal, I'll be durned!" hoarsely
whispered Mr.. Slammer. "Why, hang
it, not only got bilked on the school
house business, but come mighty near
gettin' blazes knocked out of me-
Something wrong, somewhere"
sighed one of the jokers.
I'm tell you what it is, replied Mr..
Slammer, striking his finger down at
every word" he's been sawn! Some
o that Thomas crowd has got in ahead
of me and cut all the heat!'-DetroH
Free Press