The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1879-01-09
Josh Billings Philosophy.

kulkste in mi writings. = robust and
hslthy moral, and in Citing fair price
for il.
The things that we are positively GER
tain ov are few and very seldum in our
favor.
1.-THE laborer il worthy ov his hire"
but the hire liz not allwuss worthy ov
the laborer.
The cunning man is welkum to his
viktory az f. r me, had rather be a
common fool than a cunning kuss.
A quidnunk il an individual who
goes about stealing other folks time,
and phooling away his own.
The value that most people put upon
things in this world liz the price they
are held at.
Men are never so happy, and seldom
30 innosent spending their mummy az
they arc in making it.
There liz luxury in poverty, but the
poverty must be imaginary not real.
Tanning oneself on day il like
chewing gum. the more yu do it, the
more yu want to.
Thare il lots ov pholks who amt new
or satisfied with the best thare liz, but
allwuss want something little better.
The fust thing child il lernt in Nh
Hnglsnd liz to say his prayers, when he
goes to bed the next thing il, to shut
the door after him when he goes out.
1t don't require mulch genius to find
fault with tho krooks in "A dogs tall
but to straighten them out does.
Next to "a klear conscience, for solid
comfort, Gums an Cd shu.
The more man studdys himself, the
less fault he will find in his nabor
The man who never changes hiz op;n-
yum aint going to kno mulch, and the
one who ,hanges it too often, IL going
to kno less.
The hardest working. and the poorest
paid people in this world, are those who
have nothing TO do.
l hav sed this to 2 thirds ov all the
ritch men in the world, make the most
ov yure mummy, for it makes the most
ov WI.
The married condeshun haz sum fust
klass trials, the single state haz sum
seckond rate plezzures. Yung man,
take yure pick.
cum akrost lots ov humble and re-
signed partys in this world, only let
them hav their own way i'll all things.
Az a genral rule, the folks who ought
to suckceed are those who do.
Yung sinner, reckoleckt one thing,
whatever yu git dishonesty yu hay got
-. to divide with the devil, and he allwuss
takes the lions share.
Dear Sally-don't marry n man simp-
ly bekause yu respekt him, thare may
cum along phellow afterwards that yu
will fall in luv with, and then the devil
will be to pay.
What man gifts ov this world goods
hi acksident, he il very apt to lou2e in
the ssme way.
Don't waste yure time trieing to con-
trout the pashuus and appetishts oy the
world be satisfied if You can regulate
them.
Envy IL not only the meanest pashun
ov the human harte, but u the most
common one, too.
The DEVILS traps are allwuss baited
with plezzures ov sum kind.
| would just as soon undertake to
cram phlsick down n man thrut AZ TO
force moral reform upon him.
The world il full ov sublime truths,
and yet most people spend their time
hunting after vapld kuriosltys.
Wimmin make the very best kind ov
fust lutenants. but the poorest kind oy
kaptins.
| kno lets OF individuals who might
make good wages, raizlng potatoze ut
80 cents IA bushell, but they amt salts
fled unless they kan hav forlorn hope
ov sum kind to phool around.
When l waz young man / waz all
wuss krazy to take hold ov the big end
ov the log, and do all ov the lifting
now / am older, l seize hold ov the
small end and do all ov the gruntng.
We all pray for long life, but few
ov us pray for good one.
If we would grant to others the same
privileges that we klaim for ourselves,
1t would almost pay to liv forever in
this world,
Thare amt cheaper kritter in all
kreashun than the man who IL trieing
to liv on the reputashun ov mummy that
he haz squandered phoolishly.
Wizs men make the mistakes, and
phools the blunders, and this liz about
all the difference between them.