The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1879-07-12
Yorick's Drawer.

of rejuvenescence limited to ten years? And
why should the subtraction of a decade
from the number of ones years make one
look better than ever before? Could one, by
judicious change of garments or frequent
resort to the offices of the hair-dresser be-
come no years old, or after time less
than that and so get himself unborn? And
would that improve his personal appearance
so that people could say he never looked
better in his life? And under these circum
stances wouldn't the intended compliment
become cruel sarcasm?
These are grave questions and importu-
nately seek an answer. Yorick recalls the
time when he was fourteen years old or
thereabouts. The beard was starting in
patches all over his face. People told him
if he would only shave he would look ten
years younger. His ambition, however,
was to look ten years older, and he declined
to transform himself into a four-year-old by
means of that Medea-chaldron of renovation,
a shaving-dish. He shudders now to think
of his narrow escape. How young he would
have been by this time!
Shortly after the Australian hoax in re-
gard to Signor Rotura and suspend ami
nation was republished in Europe, an Eng
lish paper took occasion to comment with
some severity upon the credulity and skep-
ticism peculiar to this age, pointing out that
people, while applying the seyerest tests to
the supernatural and traditional readily ac-
| yvitbont
strous or absurd or self-contradctory that
concern the operations of Nature or are told
in the name of science. Comment and ac
cusation are just. The very ones who in
| sist that the Christian religion stands or falls
with the story of the resurrection of Lazarus
and profess their inability to receive that
! story, accepted without murmur the Aus
tralian fable that man of science had dis
! covered a drug which, injected under the
| skin behind the ear of an animal, would
suspend all the animal functions and throw
it into state that is virtually death; that
the animal could remain in this condition
for an indefinite time, years if desirable,
and could then be restored to life by inject
ing another drug into its neck. This they
believed. They did not stop to question
They did not ask for proof. They did not
seek to learn if such man as Signor Rotura
ever had an existence, or if he were not the
Munchausen of the South seas. When the
despatch came from Africa announcing the
death of the young Napoleon men doubted.
But the story told by an obscure Australian
! we nhac tot;n
cepted by generation whose Judgment has
been demoralized by the wonders of electric
ity and the phonograph.
The truth of the criticism received strill-
| ing proof soon after its publication. So far
did credulity go that a scientist of repute
contributes paper to Nature in which he
| gravely speculates upon the consequences of
the discovery, and says that he himself has
| been making experimental inquiries for
many years in the same direction. While
admitting that the Australian narrative is
every enthusiastic he finds no reason to
doubt its substantial truth, and argues for
| the inherent probability of it. Then he
| goes on to consider the effects of ''the drowsy
mandragora' and like agents. Since the
story has turned out to be simply news
paper hoax he doubtless has found occasion
to change his views. But he and those like
him will as readily accept the next extrava-
giant tale, be it put in the form of ''scien-
tific discovery" that some practical joker
with lively imagination chooses to invent
They did not question story that makes
| ba GIaapavc i,, IL
sible and the tragedy in the tomb of the
Capulets probable. Why should they refuse
to credit the existence of Frankenstein?
The phonograph shows that Munchausen's S
trumpet filled with ''frozen Words and the
kindred story by Rabelais might have been
true. Why not then believe in Paribanou's s
fan and Prince Ahmed's apple of life?
These philosophers are only waiting the
word.
In the Seven Sleepers though they will not
believe; for it is religious legend, and at
religion they draw the line of belief. Their
credulity has this only and curious limita
ton: they accept any statement however
preposterous unless it relates to God and
His doings, and reject all statements how
ever probable or well-substantiated that
affirm miracles done by Him. They deny
that such person as Jesus ever existed
and say that the story of his ministry is a
mythus. But should Edison tell them to-
morrow that he could make his voice heard
II the moon they would believe him without
hesitation. Should he even say he had dis
covered perpetual motion or could prove
that part is greater than the whole, the
chances are they would not say him nay.
1t seems absurd to call these men rational
ists'' and ''skeptics," for they are skeptical
on one point only and irrational on many
1t is not their disbelief one objects to SC
much as one does to its curious limitations
They at least who fastened to proclaim theil
faith in Signor Rotura and his marvellous
drug should not sneer at those who believe
in Christ and his miracles.
Man has been defined as a cooking and
as a laughing animal. Let us add to the list
and call him grumbling animal. There is
ample warrant for the definition. Not
many days since we We're shivering in ulsters
Winter. Already we are complaining of the
heat of Summer, rushing to the islands il
droves, looking longingly at the far-off hills
and persuading ourselves that an ice-houst
is the only habitable place fit for man
How long since was it that we were pooh
pooling at the id a that fiery furnace is
any punishment at all? To-day we think
collision with an iceberg would be quite
charming Man is certainly an irrationa
creature. Here we have all kinds of wealth
er, assorted sizes, sometimes between sun
rise and sunset. There is no chance to ge
cloyed. We have all the spice of variety
Still we are not satisfied. And those who
now grrlmble at the heat will be complain
ing tw months hence of the shertn' SIS o.
Summer. 1t is uncommonly foolish to ge
into a state of mind over the heat; for tC
fret always makes one warm. Let us enjoy
the day as it passes, take comfort in think