The Red Cloud chief., 1879-05-22
TOO LATE FOR MCPHERSON,

Mark Twain Apologies for Not Making q
Speech.
From the New York Times.1
Mark Twain was recently at a dinner
on the Stanley Club in Paris, and being
called upon for a speech, is thus report
ed by the Continental Gazette: "Mr.
Ryan said to me just now that I'd got
to make q speech. l said to Mr.. Ryan,
sThe news came too late to save Roger
MCPHERSON 1t is sad to know that
some things always come too late, and
when I look around upon this brilliant
assembly / feel disappointed to think
what a nice speech l might have made,
what fine topics 1 might have found in
Paris to speak about among these his
tore monuments, the architecture of
Paris, the towers of Notre Dame, the
caves, and other ancient things. Then
l might have said something about the
objects of which Paris folks are fond
literature, art, medicine Then taking q
card from his vest pocket as if to take a
glance at his notes] |, and adultery. But
the news came too late to ave Roger
Mcpherson! Perhaps you are not as well
acquainted with Mcpherson Is I am?
VNCllS L IL CAHl0lA WIN NxCx uCISOu WdSs
When we sailed from New York there
came on board a man all haggard-a
mere skeleton. He wasn't much of q
man, he wasn't, and on the voyage we
often heard him say to himself
The news came too late to save
Roger McPherson.' 1 got interested,
and wanted to know about the man, so
/ asked him who was Mcpherson. and
he said, I'm Mcpherson, but the news
came too late to ave Roger McPher-
son. How too late!' 1 asked. about
three weeks too late,' he replied; IN
tell you how it happened: A friend of
mine died. and they told me I must
take the body on the car to his parents
in Illinois. I said I'd do it, and they
gave me q card with the address, and
told me to go down to the depot and
put it on q box I'd find there, have the
box put on the baggage car, and 90
right along with it to Illinois. 1 found
the box all right, and nailed the card on
it, and put it on the cars; then I went
in the depot and got a sandwich. l was
walking around eating my sandwich,
and l passed by the baggage-room, and
there was my box, with a Young man
walking around, looking at it, and he
had . card in his hand. I felt like go
ing up to that man and saying, "Stran-
ger, that's my corpse" But 1 didn't.
1 walked on, ate my sandwich, and
when l looked in again the young man
was gone; but there wa that card nailed
right on that box. I went and
looked on that card. It was
directed to Col. Jenkins, Cleve-
land, Ohio. So Hooked in the car, and
there was my box all right. Just before
the train started, q man came into the
baggage-car and laid q lot of Limberger
cheese down on my box. He didn't
know what was in my box, YOU know,
and | didn't know what was IN his pa
per, bat l found out later. 1t was an
awful cold night, and after we started
the baggagemaster came in. He was q
nice fellsw, johnson was, and he said.
GA man would freeze to death out
there; III make it all right" So he
shut all Tie doors and all the windows.
built q rouSfng coal fire in the stove:
then We t0ok turns fixing the car and
poking the fire, till I ssgan to smell
something and feel uncomfortable, so I
moved as far away from my corpse Is I
could, and johnson says to me, ga
frjend Of yours? Did he die lately? This
year I mean Says 1, "IM fix it."
80 I opened q window, and we took
turns breathing the fresh air. After q
while johnson said, "Let's smoke, I
think thatM fix it." So we Lit our
cigars and pulled q bit, but we got SO
sick that we Let 'em 60 out again-it
didn't do any good. We tried the air
spain. Says johnson, "He's in no
trance, is hep There's doubt about some
being dead, but there's no
doubt about him, is there? What did
be die OFF, We stopped at . station,
nd when we started of again johnson
n with a bottle of disiDfector, and
avs. "I,ve got something now thatm
ix itn So he sprinkled it al around.