The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-05-08
SPRING CLEANING.
A Husband and Fathers Expert.
ence when the Spring Comes,
Gentle Reader.
From the Writings of Bill Arp.

/
Its thrillin time when a country
family have invited their city cous
ms to visit EN-, and are fixin up to
receive in a hospitable manner. NV
wife, Mrs. Arp, she were not at
home and so the girls took matters
in charge, and for several days the
exciting episode went on. 1t was
like cleaning the deck of a man of
war for a fight. The house has
been secured, and scrubbed and
sandpapered. Everything IN it has
been taken down and put up again,
and moved to a new place, and
can't find anything now when ]
want it. The old, faded carpets
have been taken up and beaten and
patched all over, and curtaiied and
put down again. They get smaller,
which they say is good way
to wear them out without taking
cold. The furniture has been fresh
ly vanished with kerosene oil, the
window glass washed on both sides,
and the knives and forks, water
buckets, wash pans, and shovel and
tongs frightened up. The hearths
have been painted with Spanish
brown, the soiled plastering white
washed, the family portraits busted,
and the pewter teapot and plated
casters and spoons and napkin
rings polished as fiLe as a jewelry
store.
l surveyed the operations from
day to day with affectionate inter
est, for it does me good to see
young people work diligently in a
meritorious cause; nevertheless my
routine of daily life appears to be
somewhat demoralized. On the
first day our humble dinner was
dispensed with and me and the
boys invited to lunch on bread and
sorghum at side table. The next
day we were allowed to lunch in
the back PLAYER for fear we would
mess up the dining room, and the
next we were confined in the wa
ter-shed to keep US from messing
up the PLACER, and after that 1 meek
ly prepared myself to be showed
out of doors on plank, but we
wasent. I've been doing some more
work on the front yard to surprise
Mrs. Arp when she comes, but
they've locked the front door to
keep US from trampin through the
hall and we have to go round about
a hundred yards for a drink of
water. This is all correct l reckon,
for there's no malice in it, and they
praise up our terraces so gushingly
I've a mind to keep on with EN- into
the public road and cascade that to
the branch.
Delicate hints have been given
that it amt polite to set down to
the dinner table with ones coat
of, or TO drink coffee out of a sau-
Ger, or eat homing with a knife, or
smoke in the parlor. The wash
bowl has been turned upside down
to keep us from using it. With
this side up 1t holds about pint
and half, and as 1 was a washing
my face with the tips of fingers
they surveyed me with looks of un
utterable despair. When raise my
working boots on the banister rail
for an evening rest they wipe it off
with wet rag as soon as leave. l
musent step on the purity red
hearth to make Up IA fire or to put a
back log on that weighs so pounds.
They've put pillows on my bed
about half as big as a bale of cot
ton and fringed all around like a
petticoat. They are to stay on it
in daytime and be taken off at night.
When I'm tired and feel the need of
a midday nap that bed was a com
fort, but the best eau do now is to
sit up in a chair and nod. The
dogs don't understand the new sys-
tenn at all. Old Bows has been
coming in the house to the fire or
lying in the PLAYER for IA years and
it does seem impossible to break
him of it in a sudden though dog
matte manner. Broom handles and
fishing poles move EN- out at one
door, but they slip in at another.
They'll enter an appeal when Mrs.
Arp comes home. I'm waiting pa
tiently for her advent myself, but
I'm going to conform to the new
order just as long as | can in rea-
son. She'll take care of me and re:
store my ancient privileges. She
never would allow anybody to regu-
late me but herself, company or no
company. She has overstayed her
time two days trying to decide what
to buy with two dollars and a half
Poor thing! / wish she had a hun
dred. Id foller her about from store
to store all day long. Then she
wouldent buy nothing for hersel
but pair of specks, and shed buy
them on the sly, for she don't wan
it generally understood she has tC
use EN-. l woke up one nightabou
midnight and discovered her sitting
by the fire reading Molly Brown
I'm reveiin now at her delight, wher
she sees all the improvements tina
we have made in her long absenc'
for it seems like she has been t.
Europe or Jerusalem, or the Sue.
Canal. We've turfed all the terra
ces with grass sod. They rur
round in the form of snake Will
two crooks in him, but which GU
poetic girls speak of as Mr.. Ho
garth's line of beauty. We've lev
eled off another yard for crocal
ground; she loves to play some
times, and it does me good to SCI
her throw her mallet after the bal
when it misses the wicket two o
three times in succession. She's ;
comm The flowers are waiting
for her, and the chickens and colts
aud the dogs and cats, and the chill
dren and me. We're all waitin
BILL ARP.