Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1879-08-21
THE GOOD BOY AT THE PICNIC.
A Unique Description of Him Im the
VeFnaculars

Il
Detroit Free Press.
A good boy comes home from the pic
mic clean discouraged and badly mashed.
indeed, he is often brought home dead.
The bad boy has a whoODing old time
from the outset, and returns home chuck
fun of figs and candy and enthusiasm to
go again. When the good boys dad has
made up his mind to take the family to
picnic on some shady island or distant
shore, the boy doesn't jump up and de-
clare that he won't wear white pants, or
that he IS bound to go barefooted, or that
he must haye half dollar in cash and
a revolver. On the contrary, the good
boys chin is at rest, he is in his mothers
hands, and he trusts her with all ar
rangements regarding his sacred person
ana property. Before leaving home the
good boy is thus solemny addressed by
ms devoted mother, and the ''address"
Is accepted, adopted and fled by his re-
| spected father, who was a boy once him
''Now, then, young man, we are going
20 sunday School picnic, and I want to
| say few words to you. If you lose
your hat on the cars I'll box your ears
till they ring! If you don't stay right
with me and your father I'll lick you
before all the people! If you sit on the
grass and stain those pants you know
what you'll get! If you dare to get in
DoaG, go into the water, shoot pistol,
climb atree, wrestlea boy or tease your
| father for money to buy candy or lemon
| ade, I'll take your hide off and hang il
on the fence the very minute we get
! homei'
That's the music the good boy has to
| face when he starts for picnic, and if he
doesn't start out with smiling face and
| buoyant step he may get his ears cuffed
| before he reaches the depot. If any one
| has to stand up in the cars it is the good
| boy. If there are any cinders flying they
settle on the good boys white pants and
hat and lodge in his eyes. If any one
/ falls fiat on the platform or into the mud
on the getting-Off place it is the good boy,
while the bad boy who has come all the
wav on the roof of the car, having dead
| loads of fun, meet with not the slightest
accident as he ascends. On the contrary,
| he is almost certain to find a basket of
| luncheon which no one claims, and he
runs his chance of picking up gold
headed canes. bottles of ginger-ale, poell-
| et-bOoks and watches on the way over to
| the grove.
The good boys father, on reaching the
grove, buys himselfa glass of lemonade
to get the dust out of his throat and fol-
lows it with dish of ice cream to cool
his system. The good boy himself isn't
supposed to have any dust in his throat
| or any system to cool off. If he is very
| thirsty he can drink water-providing
his mother doesn't catch him at it. The
| bad boy skins up tree, hangs by his
l.heels, finds birds nest, eats slippery
elm and June-berries, and the good boy
must sit on a cracker box and watch the
family umbrella. The good boys mother
| braces up with a draught of currant, wine,
and his father takes some ginger ale to
prevent sunstrOke and then retires to a
shady spot to smoke a cigar. If the good
boy feels like squandering, the Old-fash-
ioned penny he has had in his FFbank''
| g., L., /,
mother freezes him to that cracker box
so fast that pony couldn't draw him
off.
The bad boy has at least fifty cents to
lspend as he pleases. He gets a boat; he
goes off swimming; he throws stones; he
swings on wild grapevine; he climbs
hills and rocks and slides down banks,
and although some deacon with face as
solemn as the garret window in desert
ed tannery predicts that he will be killed
or drowned, he is the liveliest one of the
lot when the party make ready for the
homeward trip.
Instances have been known where good
boy evaded his mothers eye and bought a
popcorn ball. but it always choked him.
If he dared to climb tree he fell and
broke his arm. If he got hold of pea
nut or lemonade he was made dreadfully
sick. If he went near the water he was
drowned. A good boys parents should
and do take heap of comfort at picnic.
The good boy himself might as well take
a seat in a graveyard and try to be happy
with broken penny whistle. Up to the
time of taking the cars for home he may
have behaved himself in such manner as
} to win a word or two of praise from his
: mother, but he is sure to jam his hat
break suspender, lose his handkerchief
or do something on the way home to in
I duce the old lady to remark as she reaches
e home and removes her bonnet:
7 F'NOw, young man, you step out here
/. Things have come to a pretty pass If we
S can't take you anywhere with us withou
s your cutting up so as to disgrace us for
d ever! Stop that blubbering, sir, and lie
i me say that the louder you holler tn
Il harded / shall lick"