The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1879-01-08

The Nick of time-Satan.

WlT AND HUMOR.
The Nick of time-Satan.
a noisy fellow annoys fellow.
How to rear a mule-TickIe his hind legs
comes to blows.
Nothing makes person laugh so much as
q set of new teeth.
Line from an Ohio poem: "December's
skies are softly splitting snow"
Sitting Bulls recipe for removing dand
ruff from scaips being: First get your scalps.
Persons who write anonymous letters for
publication should send their fool names to
the publishers.
1t is hard for some men to understand the
Lord. He calls them to be mechanics, and
they straightway stumble into the pulpit.
Josh Billings says he has no objeckshun to
a man parting hiz hair in the middle, but
shall aiwuz insist upon hiz finishing up the
job by wearing q short gown and pettikoat
Mr. Heep said to drunken fellow. '1f
were in your place. would go out to the
woods and hang myself The answer was:
''If yooz in my plaish, you couldn't get
there"
A company of settlers, in naming their
new town, called it Dictionary. because. as
they said, that's the only place where
peace, prosperity and happiness are always
found"
MY dear" said wife to her husband, 81
really think it is time we had green house"
well my love- paint it any color you please;
red. white or green will suit me- responded
the husband.
The Utica Observer propounds this conun-
drum: ''If two inhabitants of Portugal are
called Portuguese, would it be proper to al
Jude to one of them Portugoose?' He
might be a Portugander.
The tramp may not be able to square a cir
Gle; but only give him the chance and he'll
prove to you that he can get round square
meal with a mathematical completeness that
will astound you--Puck.
state, with q label, II govern all;' bishop,
with a legend Il pray for all. !" and farmer,
drawing forth reluctantly purse, with the
inscription, 81 pay for all"
The difference 'twixt tweedledum and
tweediedee is illustrated by the fact that the
rich man with a great appetite is called an
epicure, and the tramp with great appetite
is called glutton.-Rome Sentinel.
The moon is just the thing for coon hunt
ing or sleigh riding, but it isn't worth much
for gathering chickens or talking about the
with another fellows girl.-Bridgeport
Standard.
An old topper, hearing some ladies discuss
ing the wonderful fact that baby can say
No several months before it can say YES"
remarked: well, ladies, you see that's
cause babies amt never asked if they'll take
| somethin'.''
The following was recently sent 10 a
schoolmistress in Birmingham. England:
Miss *, can you allow our Henrietta
| Georgiana to come home and nurse Claudius
Alfred while our Louise Annie Victoria goes
to dancing schooln'
'tHow to break up setting hen," was a
recent query before the Farmers Club. For
hens afflicted with that sort of insanity a
sledge-bammer is the only effectual remedy.
! Anyone who recommends milder method
| is auack -Binghamto Republican.
Young writer-Your poem on 1.-THE
Flood" is declined. The lines are too con-
densed and the EXPRESSIONS too constipated.
| Remember that q description of such q
freshet as the lost one should be written in a
very easy flowing style.-Utica Observer.
A little shaver. going on an errand. met an
acquaintance, to whom be propounded the
following conundrum: "Wny am like a
am like a penny" said the little man, "be-
cause am one sent" And he went his
way.
Venerable, but good: 81 shay. my frien''
can you (hic) tell me where the other side of
the street Is2' Certainly; just across the
way; why do you ask?" "Why (hic). be-
cause a minute ago I asked another Teller
the same thing. and (hic) he said this wa
the other side of the street."
Papa. me has been baptize, amt me?'
| asked little year-old. "Yes dear" 'Then
| her h1h ox No.