davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18

Egr " 1t is sad moment of life,"
cynic lately observed, "when you find
that love, glory and happiness, are, to-
gether, n OF worth good cigar" sit is
sadder mo oment STILL" replied a friend,
"when you find that the cigar itself is
bad'
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18

By"Where do all the flies come from?''
querulously demanded old Mr.. Gunny-
bags, waving his hands frantically over
his tormented head.
" That isn't the question:" replied his
equally tormented partner, when are
they going back again, that's what I
want to know"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18

Rsg A Philadelphia barber refused to
color Bob Ingersoll's mustache, on the
plea that 1t never should be said of him
" that he dyed an infidel."
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18

8D~ Beware of small things A black
seed no larger than pin point will
grow an onion that may tint the breath
enough to break up betrothal, ruin a
school and shatter the good intentions
of sewing circle.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18

RS Ignorant men often make grave
mistakes. The landlord ofa North Car
olina hotel has posted up in his dining
room notice which says
I" Members of the legislature will be
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18

ca Fashionable Lady going out of
church; " What a powerful sermonl L
was never before SO impressed with the
duty and privilege of giving freely. I
am determined to do better and to send
this very week, another new silk dress
to my daughter"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18

gT When his wife asks him for dol
lar or two for current demands, he
smiles sweetly and says, True love,
darling, never seeks no change"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18

RY "Bless me Emily, you don't look
as well as usual-indeed, do not think
ever saw you looking as old as you
look today"
"My dear, 1 never was as old as / am
to-day"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18

F9- That was CHASTITY joke that
sinful townsman played on a stranger,
whom he promised to introduce to rich
planter, and then took him around and
presented him to the leading undertaken.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18

ca The joker who intimated that he
had some nuts to crack" must have
meant jestnuts.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18

g8- An amateur singer frightened q
pair Of canary birds to death. 1t was a
case Of killing two birds with one tone.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18

S5T The young lady who married her
fathers coachman says she was driven
to it.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18

TOE PRINTING Of every description neatly
at the Bloomfield Times steam Job Once.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18

m nnnA MONTH guaranteed. s12 a
U0IuUIE Vday at home made by the Indus
VI EJIHI AtriOus. Capital not required; we
ku1VII will start you. Men. women boys
aNEHHL land girls make money faster at
TUVuVv tw0rk for ms than atanythlng else.
n - ~ ~ The work Is light and pleasant,
and such as any one can go right
at. Those who are wise who see this notice will
send us their address at once and see for them
selves. Costly Outnt and terms free. Now Is the
time. Those already at work are laying up large
Maine. 40 1y
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18
THE GREAT BLOOD TONIC,

For the cure of all diseases arising from impure
the vital organs. Are you weak, nervous, debii.
tated, pale and emaciated? Have you lost your
appetizer Have you nausea. pain in the back,
&c. II so, DR.. Lidsey's Blood Searcherw drive
out the disease and bring back the BLOOM OF
HE ALTH. Plmples, Boils, Eryspelas Tetter,
Blood Dsea ses; and DR.. Lidsey's BLOOD SearcSep n
by purifying the system, softens the skin and
beauties the complexion. Sold by all druggists
81 per bottle. II. Z. SELLERS u CO., PrOprie-
tors, Pittsburgh Pa q AZ
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18

Let your first attack OF indigestion be the last
the Bitters The tone thus impaired will re-
main. This is a fact established by thou
sands OF witnesses. whose testimony Is simply a
afflicted with general debility OF every phase will
hnd this medicine an unfailing agent in building
up and renewing their strength.
For sale by all Druggists and respectable Deal
ers generally. as I'm
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18
\ P. BOLLINGER, M. D.
DEATH DEFEATED.

ENOR over so years SELLERS LIVER PILLS
T. have been the standard remedy for Liver
Complaints Costiyeness, Sick Headache. Pain in
shoulders or Back, Dizziness, Coated Tongue,
deranged state Of the Liver or Stomach. Thomas
Adams, Of Big Sandy. KY, says; Sellers Pills
have saved hundred of dollars In doctors bills in
this country" r.. e. SEELERS CO., Prop'rs,
Pittsburgh, Pa.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18
Professional Cards.

Y e. JUNKIN, Attorney-at-Law,
Js New Bloomfield, Perry CO., Pa.
ear Once-Next door to the residence ofJudge
Junkin. 4btf
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1879-11-18

l&
$50 = llI|EsR
R8 An amateur singer frightened q
pair of canary birds to death. 1t was a
case Of killing two birds with one tone.
sD The young lady who married her
fathers coachman says she was driven
to 1t.
ca The joker who intimated that he
had some " nuts to crack" must have
meant jestnuts.
g9 When his wife asks him for dol
lar or two for current demands, he
smiles sweetly and says, True love,
darling, never seeks no change"
.-@~-%--
Ray A Philadelphia barber refused to
color Bob Ingersoll's mustache, on the
plea that 1t never should be said of him
that he dyed an infidel."
RY Ignorant men often make grave
mistakes. The landlord ofa North Car
olina hotel has posted up in his dining
room notice which says
Members of the legislature will be
seated first and gentlemen afterwards
F9r That was a CHASTITY joke that
sinful townsman played on stranger,
whom he promised to introduce to a rich
planter, and then took him around and
presented him to the leading undertaken.
,..~.--
ca Fashionable Lady going out of
church; " What powerful sermon L
was never before SO impressed with the
duty and privilege of giving freely.
am determined to do better and to send
this very week, another new silk dress
to my daughter"
RY "Bless me Emily, you don't look
as well as usual-indeed, do not think
ever saw you looking as old as you
look today"
"My dear, never was as old as am
to-day"
ca Beware of small thingsl A black
seed no larger than pin point will
grow an onion that may tint the breath
enough to break up a betrothal, ruin
school and shatter the good intentions
of sewing circle.
sB When was boy" said prosy
long-winded orator to his freind, 81 used
to talk in my Sleep" "And now," said
his friend, "you sleep in your talk" But
somehow that didn't seem to be just ex-
actly the point the orator was going to
make.
Egr " 1t is sad moment of life," q
cynic lately observed, "when you find
that love, glory and happiness, are, to-
gether, n OF worth good cigar" sit is
a sadder oment STILL" replied a friend,
"when you find that the cigar itself is
bad.'
8Y"Where do all the flies come from?''
querulously demanded old Mr.. Gunny-
bags, waving his hands frantically over
his tormented head.
" That isn't the question:" replied his
equally tormented partner, when are
they going back again, that's what I
want to know"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-07-16
Symptoms Of a Diseased Liver.

DAM in the right side, under the
/ edge of the ribs, increases on pres
sure; sometimes the pain is in the left
side; the patient is rarely able to lie
on the left side; sometimes the pain
is felt under the shoulder blade, and
it frequently extends to the top of the
shoulder, and is sometimes mistaken
for rheumatism in the arm. The stom-
ach is affected with loss of appetite
and sickness; the bowels in general
are costive, sometimes alternative with
lax; the head is troubled with pain,
accompanied with dull, heavy sem
sation in the back part. There is gen.
orally a considerable loss of memory,
accompanied with a painful sensation
Of having left undone something which
ought to have been done. A Slight,
dry cough is sometimes an attendant.
The patient complains of WEAKNESS
and debility; he is easily startled, his
feet are cold or burning, and he COM
plains of a prickly sensation of the
skin; his spirits are low; and although
he is satisfied that exercise would be
beneficial to him. yet he can scarcely
summon up fortitude enough to try it.
In fact, he distrusts every remedy.
Several of the above symptoms attend
the disease, but cases have occurred
where few of them existed, yet exam
ination of the body. after death. has
shown the LIVER to have been extern
sively deranged.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-07-16
A Story About Artemus Ward.

One night in New York, Arte-
mus Ward, Clarkson and few 9TH
er worthless were returning from
some frolic at the rather early hour
of 8 a. m, when, as they passed
the Metropolitan Hotel, Ward said
in a mild little voice, THAT fellows
got to get up
"What fellow I"
"That man over there" starting
to cross the street as he spoke.
The rest suspecting mischief,
and not averse to the fun however
it came, followed, trying, however,
to dissuade him from an extrava-
CANT trick. Entering the hotel he
asked the clerk for the proprietor,
whose name think was Lilly.
The man replied, that Mr.. Lilly
wouldn't he disturbed at that time
of the night. In very meek but
persistent tone Ward repeated that
he wished very much to see Mr..
Lilly, and was so earnest about it,
that at last bell boy was sent to
waken that gentleman. He soon
returned with the message, "call in
the morning" Nothing daunted
Ward again sent up the boy to say
he had important business which
must be transacted there and then.
At last down came Mr.. Lilly in a
dressing-gown over his night
clothes and a considerable amount
of ill-humor.
Ward walked up to him and said
in his queer, meek tones: My
name, sir, is Browne, Charles
Browne, better known, perhaps,
as Artemus Ward"
The sleepy man smiled in spite
of himself, and Ward continued :
81 just dropped in, sir, to tell you
that eternal vigilance is the price
of liberty Good morning, sir"
1t was impossible to resist the
drollery of the whole affair, and
the victim of the irrepressible jok-
err joined as heartily as any one in
the laugh which followed.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-07-16
Ead's Enterprise.

Captain James B. Eads, who
constructed the Mississippi river
jetties, in a letter published at
Washington advocates the substi-
tutions of railroad by which the
largest ships may be carried across
the isthmus of Darien instead of o
canal. The canal, he argues, must
cost $4,000, 900 and occupy from
fifteen to twenty-five years in con-
struction, involving under the latter
plan the cutting of tunnel four
miles long. and Of such dimensions
that the Mont Cents work dwind-
les into insignificance. He then pro-
ceeds to outline the plan for a
railroad to cost $50, 100000, or one
third the price of the tunnel, which,
he says, be has no question will be
successful. There need be no
grades of more steepness than on
ordinary roads. The road-bed
may be not more than forty feet
wide, nor have more than ten rails.
the vessel should be lifted from
the sea to the level of the road by
lock, or by other well devices,
and placed upon a car or cradle of
ample strength to sustain the yes
sci with her cargo without the pos
sibility Of injury. The lock should
be twice the length of the ship,
and only one half of its length
should be deep enough to receive
the ship from the sea. The bottom
Of the other half OF the lock should
be at the sea level, and on this the
railroad should commence. Into
this upper part of the lock the cradle
to carry the ship should run, and
the gate at the land end should
then be closed. The ship should
then be foated into the deep
end Of the lock and the sea-gate
closed, after which water should
be admitted to fill the lock to a
height sufficient to float the ship
on the car in the upper half, after
which the water should be drawn
of and the car and its burden be
then started on its journey by rail.
At the other end Of the road the
car should be run into q similar
lock. Another method Of transfer
from sea to railroad is described as
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-07-16

a hydraulic elevator, so arranged
that the vessel would rise and fall
on even keel. The car to carry
the ship should be made in sections
to avoid strain, and each section
should have it propelling power.
He computes that the power of less
than a dozen ordinary freight en-
gines would be required to push the
largest loaded ships at the rate of
eight miles an hour. Such road
and lifting Appliances may be con-
structed in less than four years.
He expresses the utmost confidence
in the practicability of the plan,
and of the profit in running the
road.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-07-16
as the TMig is Bent.N

"Well, / declare /! / don't see
where that child gets his disposi-
ton FROM" / heard a mother ex-
claim, not long since.
o, how easily an impartial OBJ
server could have told her; but she
could not see; and she would not
have believed had she been told.
An incident, comical in some re-
spects, but yet seriously suggestive,
came under my observation within
that mothers door-yard, the rela-
ton of which will help to solve her
moral problem.
"Jack !" screamed bright-eyed,
golden-haired, fair-faced little girl.
of not more than six summers, to
her youngest brother, who had
dumped himself under the wall,
where he was digging sand with a
strip of shingle,-"Jack,-yo
good-for-nothing little scamp =
you are the torment of my life
Come right into the house this
minute, or I'll take the hide of'm
you Come in, l say !"
"Why Totty !" exclaimed her
father who CHANGED to come up
at that moment, "what in the world
are you saying! Is that the way
you talk to your little brother'"
80, no, papa" answered the child
promptly and with an innocent
smile. ave was playing keep
house, and / am Jacks mamma,
and l was talking to him as mamma
talked to me this morning. Inever
really spank him as mamma does
me sometimes"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-07-16
THE sCHOOLMASTER.

When the lessons and tasks are all ended,
Aud the school for the day is dismissed,
And the little ones gather around me
To bad me good night aud be kissed
Oh the tender white arms that encircle
My neck IN a loving embrace
Oh the smiles that are halos Of glory,
Shedding sunshine OF love in my face.
And when they are gone sit dreaming
OF my childhood too lovely 10 last,
OF love that my heart will remember
When il beats to the pulse OF the past.
Ere the world and its wiokedness made me
A partner TO sorrow and sin;
When the glory Of God was about me,
And the glory Of gladness within
Oh, nv heart grows weak as a womans
And the fountains Of feeling will how,
When speak Of the paths, steep and stony,
Where the feet Of these dear ones must go;
or the mountains Of sin hanging DER them,
OF the tempest Of fate blowing Wild
Oh there's nothing on earth half 80 holy,
As the innocent heart of child
They are idols OF hearts and OF households,
They are angels Of God in disguise;
His sunlight stin sleeps in their tresses,
His glory still CLEANS from their eyes;
oh these trulnts from hcrne and from beaver
They have made me more manly and mid,
And know how Jesus could hken
The kingdom Of God TO a child.
I ask not life for these dear ones,
All radiant, as Others have done,
But that life may have just enough shadow,
To temper the glare Of the sun;
I would pray God to guard them from evil,
But the prayer would bound back to myself,
All a seraph may pray for a sinner,
But 4 sinner must pray for himself.
The school is so easily governed.
have banished the rule and the rod;
have taught them the goodness Of knowledge,
They have taught me the goodness Of God;
My heart is a dungeon Of darkness,
Where shut them for breaking a rule,
nv froWn is sufficient correction,
My love is the Law Of the school.
i shall leave the old house in the autumn,
To traverse its threshold no more;
An, how I shall sigh for the dear ones
That met me each morn az the door;
shall miss their good nights and their kisses
And the gush of their innocent glee,
And the group on the lawn, and the flowers
That are brought every morning 10 me.
shall miss them At morn and AZ evening,
Their song in the school and the street,
I shall miss the low hum Of their voices,
And the tramp Of their musical feet.
~ l. ii a
And Death says ''the school is dismissed"
May the little ones gather around me,
To bid me good night and De kissed.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-07-16

Default having been made in the terms and
conditions Of a certain iudentuie Of mortgage,
bearing date the oth day of December, A. ID. 1875,
and executed 10y and between William T.. Jones
and Olive Jones, his wife, Of Alpena county
Michigan, OF the first part, and Charles w. Rich
nrlsOn Edward u. Avery, Newell Avery aud
Simon j. Murphy, Of the second part, and duly
recorded IN the office of the Register Of Deeds for
the county of Alpena, on the 18th day Of Janu-
airy, a. ID. 1871, in liter one Of Mortgages, on
page 255, aud by which said default the power Of
sale IN SAID mortgage contained has become opsr-
/ alive, and II being claimed that there is due
aud unpaid, at the date hereof. said mortg age,
the sum OF one thousand foui hundred and eigh-
ty-eight dollars and tity-six cents, tl 1885, fei
principal and interest, together with attorney
fee OF fifty dollars, s50.0Ol provided for in said
mortgage, and no suit OF proceeding, either at
law in equity, having been instituted to r~eov-
er the amount secured by said mortgage, OF any
part thereof, now therefore;
Notice is hereby given, that on the nth day
OF July, A. ID. 1879, at two O'Clock the
ter Brothers brick block, on Second street, iu
the city of Alpena, county of Alpena, and State
of Michigan, that being the building in whicA
the Circuit Court for said county in which said
mortgagcd premises are situated IL held there
will be sold at public auction, to the highcst bid
der, the premises described in said mortgage or
so much thereof rs may be necessary TO satisfy
the said debt, the interest thereon and suid ~.
torhey fee, and all costs and charges allowed by
Law. said mortgaged premises are situated in
township OF Long Rapids. county of Of AlpenA
State OF Michigan, and described as follows: Ali
those pieces OF parcels OF land described in SAID
mortgage as follows, to wit: The south-west
quarter of the southwest quarter of section
twenty-seven, al, the south half Of southeast
quarter of section twenty eight, l2s east half 81
southwest quarter of section twenty f2sl,
and the northwest quarter Of the northwest
quarter of section thirty-four, tSil, all in town
thirty-two ~ north, Of range six ,6l cast
CHARLES W. RICHARDSON,
EDWARD o. AVERY,
SIMON j. MURPHY,
Survivors Of themselves, and
NEWELL AVERY, deceased,
Mortgages.
Attorneys for Mortgages.
Dated April p, 1879. 40swis-s,sco
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-07-16
MORTGAGE SALE.


Default having been made in the terms and
conditions of certain indenture Of mortgage,
bearing date the 9Th day Of October, A. ID. 1874,
and executed by and between Patrick Gallagher, :
of the city OF Alpena, county Of Alpena, and
State of Michigan, of the first part, and Patriek
Rollo-an, of Duncan city, county Of Cheboygan,.
State of Michigan. Of the second part, and duly
recorded in the Office OF the Register OF Deeds for
the county Of Alpena, ON the 9TH day Of October,
A. ID. 1874, in Liber of Mortgages. on pages 4if'
and 4l2, am which SAID mortgage was on the 9Th
day of October, a. ID. 1875, duly ASSIGNED by said
Patrick Holloran TO William Manion,. srd said
assignment was duly recorded in the Office OF the
Register of Deeds for said county Of Alpena, Ca
the seventh day of October, 1873, IN Liber OF
Mortgages. on page a, and by which said default
the power of sale IN said mortgage contained has
become operative, and it being claimed that tere
is now due and unpaid at the date hereof, on said,
mortgage, the sum of five hundred and seventy
seven dollars and twenty-five cents, ls57725.l for
principal and interest, together with an attorney
fee of twenty-five dollars, ts25.00 provided for
in said mortgage, and no suit proceeding, eth
er at law or in equity, having been instituted to
recover the amount secured by said mortgage, or
any part thereof, now, therefore;
Notice Is hereby given, that on the 10Th day
of July, A. ID. 1870, at two o'clock in the af-'
ternOon of sind day, ut the front door Of Potter
Brothers brick block, Second street, in the
city of Alpena, county Of Alpena, and state Of
Michigan, that being the building in which the
Circuit Court for sand county in which said mort
gagged premises are situated is held, there will BE-
sold NJ public auction to the highest bidder the
premises described in said mortgage, or 50 much
thereof may be necessary TO satisfy the said
debt the interest thereon, and said attorney fee,
and all costs and charges allowed by Law. Said
morigaged premises are situated in the city Of Al
pena, county of Alpcna, State of Michigan, and
described rs follows: All thst piece or parcel Of
land described in said mortgage as follsws TO Wit:
Lot number nine, l9,l in block number twelve,
~ OF Hitchcock's addition to the village, now
city, of Alpena.
WILLIAM MANION,
Assignee Of Mortgage.
TUnHBuLL & McDoSALD,
Attorneys for Assignee OF Mortgage.
Dated Alpena, April 81, 1879. 402wl5-s7soe
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-07-16
Pneumonia.

Hardly any one who has large
acquaintance or who reads the
obituary or death notices in the
public prints, can fail to notice
how fatal disease pneumonia is,
especially in this city, says the
New York Times. 1t really seems
sometimes as if it caused half of all
the deaths that occur. Each win
ter it appears to grow more dan
gerous. This season it has been
very virulent, owing, probably, to
sudden changes and the unusual
amount of snow. Pneumonia in
variably begins with a cold, to
which scarcely anybody attaches
any Importance, and the cold is
neglected until it results in the
painful, and always alarming,
disease. "Only a coldl" echoed
the renowned Abernethy. ga cold
is always to be feared. Colds have
killed more men than battles have"
There seems to be no way of guard
ing against pneumonia. One per-
son is as subject as another to it.
Rugged constitution, vigorous
health, general attention to hygienic
laws, have no power to prevent it.
Pneumonia Stays a giant as quickly
as it Stays pigmy; an accomplish
ed athlete as quickly as puny i'm
valid. One meets this morning a
friend flushed with youth-energy.
Within three or four days he Is
dead. Pneumonia has cut him
down. Persons who care to live
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-07-16
BEWARE OF INVITATIONS.

The genuine are never sugar coated.
Every box has red wax seal on the
lid, with the impression DR.. McLANE's
LIVER PILLS.
The genuine McLANE's LIVER PILLS
bear the signatures Of c. McLANE and
FLEMING Bros. on the wrappers.
Insist upon having the genuine DR..
c. MCLANE's LIVER PILLS, prepared by
Fleming Bros, Of Pittsburgh, Pa, the
market being full Of limitations Of the
name McLane, spelled differently bur
same pronunciation.