The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-09-01
THE DAILY STAR
THE BRIGHT SIDE
Polished Up By Our Good Humored Ex-
changes.

bird Boston Post.
One of the oldest truths nowadays is
Sojourner.- Lowell Courier.
The old man of the sea was an ocean
buoy once New Orleans Picayune.
A handsome policeman is sumner
when dressed up to kill New Orleans
Picayune.
We suppose that when man "works
like beaver" he must use his teeth
Waterloo Observer.
Smith thinks that his tailors persistent
demands ought to be checked, and so does
the tailor Punch.
The angels of the Sunday schools are
sometimes the demons of the melon
PATCH Modern Argo.
A countryman seeing the sign, Glands
off," innocently asked if they had gone
On a picnic,-[ New York Herald.
The funniest river in New England is
said to be the William-antic. Its jokes
are current ones.- McGregor News.
Scene: Recitation in Mental Science.
Professor-"How do you know that you
know anything" Senior % don't
know"
Counsel Ito witness ss)-"You're a nice
sort of fellow, you are" Witness
"Pd say the same of you, sir, only I'm on
my OATH"
An exchange superhuously volunteers
this advice to politicians "1f at first you
don't succeed, lie, lie again. n."-[Spring-
field Herald.
There is no man so poor but what he
IAN afford to keep one dog, and hav
seen them so poor that they could afford
10 keep three j, Billings.
"You are my precious pearl" he said,
y he drew her to his manly breast. "Oh,
John" she sighed, "and you are my oys-
ter."- Turner's Falls Reporter.
An Albany genius calls a suspender
which has been patented "The Conscience
Suspender." Its owes its name to its ex-
treme elasticity.-[ Albany Journal.
"No," said Paperwaite, explaining, 81
wasn't really mad when the old man
drove me from the house, but | must say
! felt put t."-[ Boston Transcript.
Some of the fools have gone to the
country, but quite number remain in
the city and distinguish themselves by
watch-chains worn outside their coats
Puck.
Mrs Partington's first cousin lives up
town. She purchased few articles Of
bric-a-brac as Continents" for her man
telpiece the other day New Haven
Register,
Don't dispize yure poor relashuns
They may be taken suddenly ritch sum
day, and then it will be awkward to ex-
plain things to them; undoubtedly so.-
[Josh Billings.
The young man who, wishing to know
the pronunciation of a word, was advised
to consult the authorities, interviewed
the Mayor, three Aldermen and the Sher-
if Boston Post.
Youth Yes, it is curious I have no
beard; / can't think who l take after, my
grandfather had a splendid one. Hair
Cutter: Oh, perhaps you take after your
GRANDMOTHER Fun.
"You'll catch your death of cold," said
friend to a French actress who started
for the seaside late in the fall. "No
Shan't; I've had all my bathing dresses
trimmed with fur, so | shall be nice and
comfortable" was her confident response.
81 would box your ears" said young
lady of Belfast to her stupid and tire
Dome admirer, "if' - "If what% he
anxiously asked. off" she repeated, 'I
could get box large enough for the pur-
pose Puck.
"What does l2mo mean?' asked pupil
Of her teacher, a few days since. "12mo?
Why, don't you know what that means?
1t means the same as d&weow1y. Hav-
emit you seen it in advertisements in the
newspaper?-[ [Oswego Times.
Summer resort visitors are just getting
acquainted with each other, the young
couples just beginning to "spoon it,"
when the season draws to a close. 'Iis
ever thus. 1t is the misfortune of youth
IN love to almost get there-and then
stop New Haven Register.
A Tallahassee minister who had held
numerous night meetings in order to
arouse religious enthusiasm and the work
progressing slowly, bewailed the return
ofhis labors in only converting a half
dozen souls thus: 81 tell you, my hearers,
it don't pay for the gas"
The tomato is masquerading about the
market stalls under more aliases than you
can shake a stick at There are tomay-
toes, tomarters, tommytoes, tomattuses,
tommattoes, Tomatoes and the other
day we heard a. woman inquire ''How
dye sell yer tornadoes?-[ New Haven
Register.
A telegram from South America states
that "Warlike operations are paralyzed."
This medical form of expression might
we'll be extended, till we shall be told
that "Hostile demonstrations are strick-
en- with epilepsy" or, "The campaign is
Mt present suffering from rheumatism. -