Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1879-12-23

why, to open the safe you stupid
said |. "Where is he:'
Don't YOU know" says she.
know" l cried in rage; what
should ask you for, if did know
Didn't YOU know he were at that
house,"
All, so he was I'd nearly forgotten
that he was one of the guests at my
wife's party. Clearly, | couldn't get the
safe open, and didn't like to leave the
money in my desk, so | put it in my
pocket and took it home, thinking I'd
give it to Cousins with my key, to put it
in the safe when he returned.
4 nice mess l got into when reached
home: for you see it had been arranged
that | was to 90 upstairs and dress be-
fore anybody came; and that then our
room was to be made ready for the ladies
to take their bonnets otf-for they were
not all carriage people. Well, you never
saw such a thing When | got home
and crept up stairs to dress-the people
had all come, so the servants said-there
were six muffs and four bonnctS and five
pork-pie hats and half dozen shawls
on the bed, and one lady had left
her everyday curls hanging over the
looking glass! Upon my word, | didn't
ike to perform my toilet among all these
feminine gear; and there was no lock to
the door; and my dress clothes were all
smothered up among these muts and
things. But got through pretty well,
and had Just got one Of my legs into my
trousers, when bang atrop-dop-doP. such
a rattle at the knocker, and heard my
wife scuttling away into the hall.
They were the Markbys, our trump
card, who kept their own carriage, and
everything grand.
$50 kind of YOU, my dear, said my
wife kissing Mrs Markby most affection
ately could hear the reports where |
stood.
$50 delighted Really, how nicely,
how beautifully YOU arrange everything.
| | can't have things 50 nice, with all my
servants, and
Run up stairs, dear, do, said my
wife. You know the room-my room,
righ, hand, at the top of the stairs
heard the fut;cr of female wings on
the stairs. What was to do: If !
could have managed the other leg, !
wouldn't have minded, bu, couldn't. |
hadn't worn these dress things for a good
while. and | don't e, any thinner as |
grow older. No, for the life of me |
couldn't dispose Of that other lee at such
short notice. What could | do: | could
only rush to the door and set my back
against il. Did tell YOU this was our
house e-warming party: think not. Did
| tell YOU our landlord had altered the
house for US. making our bedrooms larger
bv adding slip that had formed sepa-
rate room: | think not. And yet l
ought to have told YOU all these clrcum-
stances. TO enable you TO understand the
catastrophe that followed. In a word
the door opened outward Id forgotten
that popularity. never having had room
so constituted before, and never will
again. The door wen, open with crash
and bounded backward into Mrs Mark
bv's arms. Smelling salts and sal vola-
tile. was there ever such an untoward
affair.
The music struck up for the dances as
| l hoped back into my room. Ind my
head among the holsters and mufs and
almost cried; for I'm such o delicate
minded man. Yes. it hurt me q great
deal more than it did Mrs. Markby, for,
would YOU believe it;-she told the story
down below to the whole company, with
pantomimic action, and, when | showed
myself at the door of the drawing room,
was received with shouts Of inextingulsh-
able laughter.
| think called the Yorkshire people
dense Jus; now, didn't |: Well, I'll add
another epithet - coarse - dense and
coarse, / told EN- 50, but they only laughed
the more.
The guests were gone, the lights were
out. slumber had just visited my eyes,
when right into my brain, starting me up
as if I'd been shot, came noise. |
wasn't really certain at first whether
had heard a noise or only dreamed. Was
it only my pulse humping into my ears,
or were those regular beats the tramp Of
somebody's mutHed feet: Then | heard
an unmistakable sound-creak, creak,
creak-a door opened cautiously. All
in moment the idea flashed into my
bead-f22, 900. You see, all this dane
ing and iunketing, and laughing and
eating had completely driven out of my
mind the large sum l had in my posses
sion. had left it in great coat pocket,
which was hanging up in the hall down
stairs.
Puff, gust of wind came through the
house, rattling the doors and windows,
and then | heard door slam, and foot
step outside of some one cautiously steal
Ing away.
Away down stairs went like mad
man, my one thought to put my hand on
that great coat, with long tails, and two
pockets behind, and little cash pocket
on the left hand side in front, and this
breast pocket in which l had put the bag
of money. This pocket wasn't as usual,
on the left hand side, but on the right.
There was no other coat hanging on those
rails, only my wifes waterproof. What
a swoop made to get hold Of that coat =!
Great heavens, il was gone.