Litchfield enquirer., 1879-04-03
CLIPPINGS,

The wages of sin are not paid in trade dol lars. -
 . "Come, gentle spring diphtherial mildness come"
 It is feared that March will go out like an entire menagerie.
 The last language spoken on earth will prob ably be the Finnish.
 A Chicago woman is going to try to keep her mouth shut three thousand quarter hours 'Wel Sambo." said the dying master to his faithful slave, 'I've long journey before me-" "Neber mind, massa, him all down hill.
 'Brevier," 'Long Primer" 'Small Pica," and "Pica" are the names of the four children of the editor of the Hawkinsville (Tenn.) Dis patch.
 A certain lawyer was compelled to apolo- gze to the court With stately dignity he rose in his place and said: ''Your Honor is right and 1 am wrong, your Honor generallyis
 A few years ago, a pacard in the bedrooms of large hotel at Prague stated that "Guests are requested to communicate to the landlord all complaints arising on their sides"
 Mary had little lamp,
 Filled full of kerosene;
 She took it once to light fire; ..-E.t And has not since benZine.
 It is remarked by an unfeeling Kentucky journal, that when MT. Blaine gets ready to wash the ensanguined shirt, he will not take it to the Chinese laundry.
 What is the name of your cat, sir?" in- quired visitor ''Hls name was William, :" said the host, ''untll he had fits and since then ho oa llad him Ritz w Williayn
 A New England clergyman in days of old, when called to task by his brethren for his un- fortunate habit of exaggeration, replied 'I know my fault. l have shed barrels of tears over it."
 A Missouri editor printed two-co]umn edi- torial on 'The Best Breed of Hogs" A con- temporary took him to task for devotlng so much space to his family affairs.
 An obliging spirit prompted the Jersey far mer who put two-pound whetstone in every turkey he sent to the New York market He knew the buyers would find the stones indis- pensable when it came to carving the fowls.
 Professor, featuring on psycholegy-"A phenomena are sensations. For instance, that leaf appears green to me. In other words, 1 have sensation of greenness within me-" Of course no harm was meant but still the class would laugh.
 Columbus avenue, Sunday afternoon. .-Mis- erable street mucker to Snodkins, the belt of whose ulster was dragging. .1say, Old Hoss, if you don't tighten up your belly you'll lose your blanket" (And Snodkins had to keep on looking pleasant, as if he hadn't heard it.)
 It is said that the reason why bigamy is of SO rare occurrence in Hungary is that once on time man who was convicted of this crime was sentenced by the court to live for two years with both wives. The punishment was considered cruel but it had the desired effect. Laura sits watching the clouds overhead,
 "Where are they going, 1 wonder ?'
 Prosaic Tem, from the door of the shed,
 "l guess they are going to thunder p
 "Where are they going p Ethel inquiries,
 Watching the cows as they pass
 Rudely shouts Bill, with voice like crier's,
 "I reckon they're going to grass p
 In a primary school not5long ago. the teach CT undertook to convey to her pupils an idea of the uses of the hyphen She wrote on the blackboard "bird' 's-nests," !" and pointing to the hyphen asked the school, s'What is that for ?'' After a short pause 8 little Fenian piped out "Plase, ma'am, that's for the bird to rooshi en-"
 A mayor of one of the commupes in France lately made the following entry upon the reg ister; "I, Mayor of -, found yesterday ir the forest of ~ man by the name of Rollir committing an act against the laws. com manded him to surrender, whereupon he sci upon me, heaping me with insult and centu mely, calling me rag-muffin, an ass, pre- cious dolt and scarecrew-all of which certify to be true"
 Discussing an absent friend. -''Yes, Robin sons clever feller, and he's modest feller and he'sa honest feller; but, betwixt you and I ahdthe post, Mir. Jones'" said Brown, conf dentially, picking his wisdom tooth with. hi little finger-nail, Robinson ain't got neither the looks, nor yet the language, nor yet tht manners of a gentleman !" Right you are sir said Jones, shovellfng the melted remains of his ice pudding into his mouth with stee knife (which he afterward wiped en the table cleth). ''You've it i'm orf to g T."
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