Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-10-18
Weeklg gntelligentm.
CFFICzAL COUNTY PAPER.
MY FRIENDS WIFE.

Il write, nv lear old chum, for tn
purpose if inviting you to visit US
the letter ran. Don't refuse. NJ.
wife heartily seconds the invitation
All, Tom, size. is a jewel-iny wife
| know il you could meet such n ON
Won would succumb and forcswea
b~achelnrhood. You, who sing abou
the felicity of a b lchelor Hail. " hel
you have seen my happy home 20,
Will change your tune. You mus
come, Tom, | won't take n refusal
Yours, etc. JOE HALL
answ cred this letter thus
sMy Dear Joel thought when
last saw you | could v be tempted
10 jrnparuize my peace of mind no.
Ia, bones 10y again placing myself a
| the mercy of vour internal practica
,krS. But | II I'VE no other
now than to accept your invitation
You must promise me, my dear fel
low, you will rot play any jokes. A
married man ought To be more dig
uiiied !; and if you do play amy of youl
tricks, Oh me, l warn you ] shal
board he first train for home. Yours,
Tom THURsTON,'
went. was Met at the rain 10y
Joe's servant, Il man who had a long
body, dressed in II long coat, a long
waistcnaI, cong necktie, II long hat,
long Dco!S, AMI whose name was
Long. Ii]nstincriveiy hated the mau
He scruIInIzrd tie closely | returned
the scrutiny. lie watched my every
move meat like Il deteniive wnuld Il
SUPPOSED criminals l watched his
movements a. II tImid man would d
vicious canime's. His voice in intem
alton was III length comparable to
the length of his body !; my voice i'll
ieugrh OF Intonation when addressing
this man was comparable to the
length of the body of II Lllliputian.
We AT length reached Joe's house.
[ anticipated Joe's welcome, but in
his place came the loveliest woman
ever bet,eld. 1t is tue, "a Joe said,
l was always fluent III language, but
80 this day L cannnt fluid words to
satisfy me III describing her surpass-
lug beauty. ;
Joe, Joe,' thought I, lit is lucky for
you that you met her first
sYou ale Mr.. Thurston?' she asked,
tim'diy, approaching me, and shyly
gl.nciug at me under her dropping,
eyeiids. l sold her that | was that
parsonage, and inquired Tor Joe.
rode up on horseback, sprang from
Lhe saddle, grasped my hand, and
like Joe of old, cried:
Glad TO see you, old boy! Well
have glorious good times, as OF old.
Well hunt, fish, smoke, ETC., till you
grow so fat, hale and hearty, that
your most intimate friends won't
know you. Come in ; tea is waiting.
Pardon me for not Introducing you,
cut [ suppose you had introduced
yourself in my absence. Apropos, it
was inhospitable 10 me to absent my
self on your arrival, but business
called me away"
So rafting on Joe ushered us into
the cosIest little parlor that ever a
poor bachelor was called upon to ell
Wy. But the cosy little wife! What
was the envy of the room, with all
ITS adornments, to the envy of such a
wife? Must l admit it, may as
well right here. as at any further
period Of my recital felt a strange
thrill at my heart. 1t was a thrill of
exquisite pain-a thrill of Jealousy of
Joe's happiness.
.Joe,'I mentally cried, better far
better for me had L declined your in
%vitation.'
Presently we had a most refreshing
supper, after which Joe and l strolled
out for a walk aud u smoke. .
'Joe,' l exclaimed enthusiastically,
your encomiums of your wife were
merited. She is indeed a treasure.
By Jove, if l could find such a jewel
[ would never rest till l won and
married her.
Joe was on the point of lighting his
cigar when | began, but paused with
appraised match until l had finished
aud the match burnt his fingers. l
thought for Il time he was angry It
iinpetuosity, but his face cleared
way, and the old wicked twinkle
chat | feared so much sprang to his
yes. He grasped my hand. saying.
You're right. my boy she's the
dearest little wife in the universe.
Pm glad you like her.
After we had finished our cigars
anu talked for some time of our old
college days we re-entered the parlOr.
Nellie cried Joe, opening the
piano, favor Tom and me with a
unc lie has a passion for music
Perhaps Mr.. Thurston - began
she, but was interrupted by Joe.
'No, Nellie, l protest! No mister
ing around here. It's plain Tom. Do
you hear, Tom? She's to cali you
Tom, and you're to call her Nellie.
Violation of this rule will incur my
displeaure. Govern your
selves accordingly
Perhaps he will object pleaded
Nellie.
No, no. 1 exclaimed, st will please
me very much-and-l will feel high
y houored to be allowed to address
you by your Christian name?'
.Pshaw, Tom! it'Il please her.
Won't it, Nell"
STE laughed and gave me a be-
witching look accompanied with a
nod.
Il was going to saw said Nellie,
that perhaps you could sing with
No, no excuse me, 1 can't sing.
The word was uttered with a gasp,
aud | certainly turned violently red
in the face. Joe was looking at me,
and l saw he had a desperate strug-
gle to control the muscles of Ibis
mouth.
| was indeed fond of music, but l
was %entranced with her magnificent
voice. The evening passed on golden
wings. Joe raj on in his wild old
way !; told jokes and laughed Just as
boisterously as he did when we
roOmed together at college. He did
not give us much chance to join in the
conversation; for one comic an
reminded him of another
which he must tell. We both laughed
heartily at his stories, and talked vol.
to each other with our eyes.
That night | dreamed | loved Mel.
lie. con, truthful DREAMY l dreamed
she reciprocated th,t love. con,
vain dreamy Then l dreamed in
tri@ue began. We determined to
eiopc. My heart bled for poor Joe,
but | felt 1t was death to live without
ter. Now she has met me under the
old elm tree south Of JOe's house. |
see her pale excited face! feel her
hand clasping mine! Now
we are fleeing! On on, and now we
are pursued! Joe is on our track !!
The scene changes, and we are on the
river. We glide along smoothly in "a
hight boat. Now we are safe, and she
is mine-mine forever! But no, Joe
still pursues us. Now he is close to
ms WhV cannot Wa Uliia fuStar ,