Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1879-11-27
hi. response 10 ro... a. The Gran. Bauqu.

Twain He said:
like that We have not all had
the good fortune to be ladies. We
have not all been Generals, or poets,
or statesmen, bat when the toast
works down to the babies we stand
on common ground laugbter1, for
we have all been babies Renewed
laughter 1t is shame that, for
Thousand years, the worlds have ut
teily ignored the baby as if he
didn't amount to anything. Laugh.
ter Ii you will stop and think a
minute,-if you will go back fifty or
hundred years to your early mar
ried life laughter and recontem-
plate yoar first babylon will re
member that he amounted to good
deal, and even something over.
You soldiers all know that when
that little fellow arrived at fam.
lily headquarters you had to hand in
yonr resignation. Laughter He
took entire command. You be-
came his lacky-his mere body ser.
want laughter. and you had to
stand around, too. Renewed laugh
ter He was not commander who
made allowances tor time, distance,
weather, or anything else. Convul
sive screams You had to execute
his order whether it was possible or
not. Roars And there was only
one form Of machinery in bis manual
OF tactics, and that was the double
quick Shouts He treated you with
every sort of lnsolence and disre-
spect laughter and the bravest of
YOU DIDN'T DARE SAY WORD.
Great laughter You could face the
death storm of Donelson and Vicks
burg, and give back blow for blow,
but when be clawed your whiskers
and pulled your hair, and twisted
your nose,you had to take il. Roars I
When the thunders of wars were
sounding in Your ears you set your
faces towards the batteries, and ad-
vanced with steady tread, but, when
he turned on the terrors of his
war whoop laughter you advanced
in the other direction, and mighty
glad of the chance, too. Renewed
laughter When he called for sooth.
ing syrup, did you venture to throw
out any side remarks about certain
services being unbecoming of an Of
ficer and a gentleman No. You
got up and did ii. When he ordered
his pap bottle and it was not warm,
did you talk back? Laughter
Not you. Renewed laughter You
went to work and warmed it.
Shouts You even descended so
far in your mental offices as to take
suck at that warm, insipid stuff
laughter just to see if it was right
three parts water TO one of milk
tumultous laughter touch of su-
gar to modify the cholic laughter |,
and drop of PEPPERMINT TO modify
those immortal hiccoughs. TRoars I
CAN TASTE THAT STUFF.
Laughter, And how many things
you learned as you went along. Sen.
timental young folks will take stock
in that beautiful old saying that when
the baby smiles the angels are whis.
pering to him. Very pretty, but too
thin-simply wind on toe stom ,ch,
my friend. Shouts II the baby
osed to take a walk at his
usual hour, two o'clock in the morn.
ing laughter didn'. you rise up
promptly and remark, with a mental
addition which would not improve
a Sunday school book much laugh.
Ter that that was the very thing
you were about to propose yourself
[Grest roars Oh !! you were under
good discipline laughter, and, as
yon went faltering mp and down the
room in your undress uniform laugh
ter |, you not only prattled undigni.
fed baby talk, bat even timed up
your martial voices and tried to sing
"R9ck-a by baby in the tree top,n
for instance. Great laughter What
a spectacle for an a my of the Ten
nessee. Laugh ter. And what an
Fiction tor the nesghbors too, tor it
is not everybody within a mile
around that likes military music at 8
in the morning. Laughter And
when you had been keeping that sort
of thing up two or three hours, and
your little velvet,head intimated that
nothing suited him like exercise and
noise, daughter 400 on |, what
did you do !? You simply went on
until you dropped in the last ditch,
Laughter. The idea that baby
doesn't amount to anything! Why,
one baby is Just house and front
ward full by itself. Laughter. / One
baby can furnish more business than
your whole Interior Department can
attend to. Laughter He is en-
terprising, irrepressible, brimfnl Of
Iawless activities Laughter Do !
what you please,
YoU CAN'T MAKE HIM STAY ON MS
OBSERVATION.
Great shoats.J Sufficient unto the .
Day is one baby. Laughter. As
ong as You are in your right mind /
don't you ever pray Tor twins Laugh. /
.er. Mr.. Cameron is the father of /
a pair. Twins amount to q perma-
no It riot. [Lauehter] And there
amt any real difference between trip. /
sts and en- insurreetion. Uproar- /
Qua shouts
Yes, it was nigh time for toast
% the masses TO recognize the i'm.
oortancs of the babies daughter
Think what is in store for the pres
INT crop Fifty years from now we
hall all be dead, | trust TIaughterl,
md then this flag, if it still survive
and let rs hope itmsY, will be float
ng over Republic Numbering 200,.
100000 souls, according to the set
led laws OF our increase. Our pres
arf aanaoror af @fata Tfauuhtar1 uvifi