The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-04-03
THO srederi, scasp.Taker.

L
abo,,t n lecture / was expected TO deliver 10
the evening. and SO badly scared tnas !
cnu,an,t remember the subject nor what II
was about. went into Tremont.sIreet
a Institute OF Facial Manipulation ana ION
asor;al Dccora,ion," inquired for the profes,
cor yyho occupied the chair OF Med@fai
Shaving and Nineteenth-CentuTy shampoo.
,cna ~ The iusior members Of the faculty,
Who way brushing an undergraduates
cot nojnted me 10 a Chair, and L CLIMBED
In When the performance was about con-
ended the barber said TO me:
"Haye your hair trimmed, sir?"
al believe not"
..Necd it very badly, SIR" he SAID;
-.iooks very ragged" VITA.
I never argue with barber. said:
"Al, right, trim IL little, but don't make
il any shor;er." 80.
Immediately he trimmed all tue curi oul
Of il. and my hair naturally, you Know nas
~ ,,n ~, araceIul curl to it. / never discov-
"a ,L;s myseIi until few months ago,
and then was very much surprised. l
discovered II by looking at my autograph.
Well, anyhow, he trimmed 1t.
n, rho 9Th OF December YVES at Bath,
Maine. Again was shaved, and again the
barber implored me TO let him trim my hair.
when answered him that it bad been
trimmed only two days before he splieiu'iy
ostcd where it was done. l told him, and
he gave expression TO burst OF sarcastic
"WcIl. well, WE'LL" he said at last. $50
Won let them trim your hair IN Boston.
well. well. Now you look like man who
has been around the world enough to kno"
better than that"
Then he affected to examine lock or TWO
very particularly, and sighed heavily.
"Dear. dear" he said, 81 don't Know,
really, as I could do anything with that
hair or not; it's too bad"
Well bis manner frightened me, and l
told him to go ahead and trim it, hut please
not to make it any shorter.
ono" he said; sob no. it wasn't neces-
sarv TO cut it any shorter; 1t was really loo
short now, but it did need trimming"
so he .trimmed" 1t, atd when faced
the RockIand audience that night looked
like priZe-fgh'cr.
In four days from that time was sitting
in the chair OF barber down III Ne" YORK
State. He shaved me in grateful silence,
and then thoughtfully ran his fingers over
my lonely hair. , ~
{. I'rim this hair little, slr?" he said !;
Hstraigbtcn it up about the edges!".
meekly told him had it trimmed twice
during the preceding week, ana / was
afraid it was getting too short for Winter
wear.
what 1t was pretty short, but you didn't
need TO cut il any shorter TO trim it, 1t
was in very bad. racgedsshape at the ends"
remained silent and obstinate, and he
asked me where had it trimmed last. | told
him, and be burst into shout OF laughter
that made the windows rattle.
"Whaps the matter, Jim?" inquired all
assistant partner down the room, holding
his patient in the chair by the nose.
Jim stifled his laughter and replied:
"This gentleman bad his hair trimmed
down in Maine"
There was q general burst OF mcrriment
all over the shop, and the apprentice laid
down his brush he was washing and came
over TO look at the Maine cut, that he might
never foget it, l surrendered. "Trm it
little, them" groaned, but in the name
OF humanity don't cut 1t any shorter"
mo" the barber said, she wouldn't
make II hairs breadth shorter"
When l left that shop, il 1t hadn't been
for my cars, nv hat would have fallen down
clear on ny shoulders. When I reached
the bote everybody stared, and couple OF
men got UP and read q handful on the wall
descriptive OF q convict who had recently
escaped from Sing Sing, and looked from
the bill to myself very intently. That night
several OF the audience drew reYo!Yeis AS l
came out on the platform.
Then went to Amsterdam, n. Y. The
barber of that sleepy village. who in the
interval of his oihcr duties acts rs mayor or
the town and edits the local papers, under
took to shave me with piece OF h0op-iron
he pulled out OF his bootleg. When re-
sisted lie went out into the kitchen and
came back with kitchen-knifc and can
opener, and offered me my choice. Sc
lectcd the can-opener, and lie began the
massacre, rcmarkins incidentally that he
used to keep Il good, sharp spokc-sbave lor
his particular customers, but lie hau ioSt IL.
Then he said my hair needed trimming very
badly. protested that it was impossible
il bad been trimmed three times within ten
days, and was as short now us Il business
man on the LIST OF January.
.Oh," he said, lit wasn't Too short, and,
beside, there wasn't no style about it at all.
He could give it some shape, however, he
said. without making it any shorter.
So | surrendered and told him to shape II
M. And if that forcdoomed, abandnned,
Amsterdam son of m oakum-picker didn't
90 out into the woodshed and come back
with a rusty old horserasp and begin to file
away what little hair had left He allowed
a few shreds and pitches to remain, how
ever, ciu:ing here and there TO my scalp
in ghostly loneliness. rather feared that
my appearance that evening would create
panic, but it did not ! observed that the
majority OF the audience had their heads
& shaped IN" after the same manner, and
were rarely pleased with my conformity to
the local custom and style.
Well, got along to Cory, Pa, and rush
ed in for shave, and got it in one time apd
two motions.
"Hair trimmed sir?" the barber said.
supposed he was speaking sarcastically,
and so / laughed, but very fecbly, for was
getting TO he a little sensitive oh the sub
ject OF my hair. or rather my late hair. But
he repeated his question, and said that it
needed trimming very badly. told him
that was what allied 1t; it had been trimmed
to death. Why. said. my hair had been
trimmed five times during the last thirteen
days, and was afraid il wouldn't last much
longer.
''Wcl," he said, 'sit was hardly the
thing for man Of my impressive appear
ance, who would naturally attract attention
the moment entereda room Il had to stand
on tiptoe and hold on with both hands to
look over the back Of Il car-seal), to go
around with such Il head OF hair, when he
could straighten it out for me in a minute"
told him to go ahead, and closed my
eyes, and wondered what would come next.
That fellow took pair OF dentists for