The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1879-06-19
STANDARD PARAGRAPHS.


The clipper of the great bear"-hi
fore-foot.
When is a saddler like the farmer
when he's hame maker.
Missouri Democrats would not breal
their necks to get to vote for Tom. Ew
ing.
The Union Soldiers got Rice enough ir
the army. They don't like it as steady
diet
Ben. HILL of Georgia. is great man
at least Ben. says he is, and he ought te
know.
Our Democratic friends made mistake.
The ticket should have been Ewing and
Warner.
The baker who had his last pie stolen.
coolly remarked that sit was one OF the
lost tarts."
The man who was overcome by burn
ing shame" had to call out the fire de-
partment.
AS the green apple increases in size.
the look on the boys face becomes more
intense in its blandness.
They haven't any law for the punish
ment of perjury in Louisiana. They
could Mt enforce it if they had.
The convention is over, and the candi-
date who was racked by doubts and un-
certainties, can now take it easy.
A temperance orator asserts that there
are too many of the "Pinafore" sailors
engaged in rounding the horn
President Hayes thinks there are
enough Ohio men holding Office. You
didn't used to think so, Rutherford.
Its no use to say "only a slip of the
tongue" to a man who has just been
whacked on the head by falling wagon
tongue
Inasmuch as the Southern Congressman
represent sovereign principalities, they
should be assigned to the Diplomatic
Corps.
The young man who sat down in the
bowl of jelly solemnly asserts that he
was only posting himself up on currant
events
The Missionary Society held meeting
one day last week, and the next day
man went through town with a bran new
red jacket on.
"Boys must be coaxed-they cannot be
driven" said an advocate of moral sua-
sion. Well, you just watch one of them
when he hits a hornets nest with a
rock, and see if he can't be driven
The Democratic maj jority in Congress
are still in the same position of the man
who caught the bear-they would like to
get away but they are afraid to let CO.
The beautiful red rose
Now fades on the thorn,
On soft winds its petals
Are itfully borne.
The cherry and cucumber
Now may be found
Likewise the Doctor,
Making his round.
The Ohio Legislature has been sitting
Long and patiently. 1t will probably die
on the nest, and leave behind it, rs re-
suit of all its labor, most unwholesome
smell.
Il have allowed my friends to use my
name" said politician to his wife
"Where-in the Convention p
"Oh, noon their day books, journals
and ledgers'
'Doolan," said his friend, whats this
they call Civil Service p "Please sur, av
ye wuz to come an gimme dollar, that
would be civil service Dye see ?''
If the colored people at the South
would only display as much courage in
fighting the white bull dozers as they do
in fighting each other, there would soon
be peace at the South.
Things becoming little dull at Wash
ington, the other day, the Senate wound
up Louisiana liar, and set him running
They have plenty of amusement now.
These Ohio men are entirely too covet-
GUS. One of them was overheard the
other day, wishing that he was the moon,
just because the moon had so many quar-
ters.
"Oh, Mr.. Prim, said Angelina, I'm so
glad you're fond of fowers-now, really,
which of the flowers do you most admire?'
II believe 1 would prefer caulifowers,
mani" Thick silence.
The Emperor of Germany is singu-
larly lucky man. He has been shot at
and escaped-has been married fifty
years and esca--that is, he has just
celebrated his golden wedding"
We fear the great State of Ohio is like
the wolf. Having gotten her nose into
the public crib, she endeavors to draw
her whole body in. Her sister States are
calling on Justice to seize her by the tail,
and boost" her away.
you lie, you lie, you lel" shouts Ben
Hill to Blaine. Then Blaine quietly pro.
duces the facts to prove that Benjamin is
a more contemplate character than even
his closest associates ever dreamed of.
Beecher says "all the angels he ever
saw had wings like old hens" Beecher
is always saying startling things. Now
just think of an angel sitting in the sun
light, with one wing raised, quietly pick
ing bug-ugh Mr.. Beecher, try
again.