The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-09-26
THE DAILY STAR
THE BRIGHT SIDE
Nicely Polished BY Our Good Humored
Exchanges.

If every person would be half as good |
as he expects his neighbor to, what d !
heaven this world would bel Whitehall
Times.
A man out West has invented pro- !,
cess of making lumber out of straw, ff |
this thing keeps on we will ..s,on be able
- - Set board for nornlng.-[ Pittsburg
Leader.
"Bless me, Emily, you don't look as
we'll usual-indeed, | do not think | ever
saw you looking as old as you look to-
day." "My dear, l never was as old as
am to-day"
"Woman is a delusion, madam" eX-
claimed crusty old bachelor to witty
Young lady. "And man is always hug
ging some delusion or other" was the
quick retort.
Experience teaches many things
prominent among which, to a man, is
that it is safer to run your chances with
a balky mule than dictate to a woman on
wash day Oswego Record.
Too much refinement is bad. Call a
San Francisco man square, and he likes
it; but Boston man of culture who
called a 'Friscan quadrilateral, promptly
got filled with buckshot.- Boston Post.
Of course it's wrong to "use big, big
D." but when you discover that your
wife has been using your razor to cut her
fnger-nails with, what else can you say?
We leave it TO candid public N. o.
Times.
And now the returned city people write
to their country cousins with whom they
have been staying that they arrived safe
ly, but found the city infested with small
pox, which is likely to last all winter
boston Post.
1t being claimed by one of the sterner
sex that man was made first and lord of
creation, the question was asked by an
indignant beauty how long he remained
lord of creation. '"Till he got a wife" "
was the reply.
The Marathon Independent says it was
the fall of an apple that set Sir Isaac
Newton to thinking, but the fall of the
shinge has made more boys think than
all the apples that ever grew New
York Express.
Women somehow get over childish no.
tiOns that men never outgrow. Some
men celebrate the anniversary of every
birthday as long as they live, while
women quit doing 50 almost as soon as
they grow up.
A Canadian girl carried a twenty-foot
ladder one hundred yards, placed it
against burning house, climbed up, and
well, she didn't put out the fire. She
fell backward on man and nearly killed
him. [Elmira Gazette.
We are always blaming poor Adam
but, after all, what did the old man do
Pulled an apple! Suppose he had gone
for watermelon, as you and | did in oul
youthful days, what a frightful quantity
Of original sin there would have been !
IN. 0. Times.
Teacher to boy in Philadelphia School
"Can you tell me where the Apennine'
are? Boy-"No; but l can tell yor
where the Philadelphia mines are. Th'
Ath-" "There, that will do" interrup
ted the teacher, and the youth subsidized
II [Norristown Herald.
In a Normandy Inn: A traveller find
In his bill charge Of four francs for bis
cults, and calls the landlord. "How i
this9 Four francs for biscuits? Why
you didn't give us any" Every true
sir, | will correctit." And the CORE cite,
bill reads Biscuits three francs"
A man on Arbor Hill aimed a gun a
mis- little son "a beautiful creature will
golden hair to his waist) and playful
threatened to shoot him. The gun turne'
out to be unloaded. 1t will be placed il
the State Library as the only weapon O
the kind known to American gunnery.-
ALBANY Journal.
Onion parties are the latest. Six youn
ladies take an onion with them into
room and one of the number takes bit
of it. Then a young gentleman is aC
mitted, and after kissing all of them,
he fails to tell which one of them bit tn
"ingyun," then the girls are all of thel
compelled to kiss him. Syracuse Heral'
':Is there letter here in scented Ell
<elope for my wifew he asked the pos
master, while the green fire from his ey'
made the Office look like leafy fores
eyes, sir" answered the p. M, as l
handed it out. The jealous man tore
open at once, when, 10 and behold! it W
the milliner's bill for $50. No succeedil
chapters Rhinebeck Gazette.
It is related of certain clergyma
who was noted for his long sermons, wi
many divisions, that one day, when
was advancing among the teens,
reached at length kind of resting pla
in his discourse, when pausing to ia
breath and asking the question, "Al
what shall | say morew voice fro
the congregation earnestly responde
"Say 'amen!"
In an English Court, in the course
On argument, barrister remarke
"What does Kitty say?" "Who's Kitty
said the magistrate; your wife?' IS
/ mean Kitty, the celebrated lawyer
"Oh," said the magistrate, "Isuspect y