The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-08-07
PASSING SMILES

dog Ralph Waldo Emerson, because he
is great thin cur.
AN exchange has an article on q" How
| Parrots Learn to Talk" The Philadel-
phia Chronicle Herald thought it was by
sending them to Congress.
The Yonkers Gazette says: +" Be kind
to the 'erring," as the grocer said to
| the tramp vino was casting wistfut
eye at box of Yarmouth bloaters.
"GIvE the devil his DUE" said
fighty orator. Then up rose back
woodsman and said, ''He will take his
due; don't you be afeard." p 81 ''1' r. 3
l. BETTERa wrong will than a,wavering;
better a steadfast enemy than an uncer-
tain friend better false belief than no
belief at all.
THE report that new mammoth cave
had been discovered in Illinois, says the
Boston Commercial Bulletin, arose from a
Chicago man taking siesta on the prai-
rie with his mouth open.
THERE is much greatness of mind in
the owning of a good turn as in the
doing of it; and we must no more force
requital out of season, than be want
ing in it. 1l.sf
| PRIDE is seldom delicate; it will
| please itself with very mean advantages;
and envy feels not its own happiness,
but when it may be compared with the
misery of others.
| SELF denial, says the Boston Post, is
said to be most exalted virtue, and we
| never fail to exercise it when some big
fellow armed with a rawhide comes in
and asks for us. ......:.
| Tn, &1,o,r frh hoe q oh
for news about Nine. NJ. thought you
had forbidden her ever to set foot in
YOUR house again?" g So [ had, my
love; you know my house is so small"
A MAN who has a fixed purpose to
which he devotes his powers, is invul-
nerable. Like the rock in the sea, it
splits the troubles of life, and they eddy
round him in idle foam.
EVERY week or so some Philadelphia
militia company goes down to New
l Jersey seashOre resort, and in a few days
returns with enough bayonets to supply
an entire army. They get them by
Jerking the bills out of the mosquitoes
they capture.
"DoN'T you think that good like
ness of me7'' said pretty wife to her
small fraction of herself called hor hus-
band. /" Very good" was the reply,
"except that there is little too much
repose about the mouth"
WHEN the corn is waving, Annie,
And the thistle down
Glistens in the Sunshine
Like golden crown.
When come the cool September days.
To glad the farmeg's heart,
| Then do the city boarders
Pick up their duds and start,
Back to town after sweltering through the dog
rivnvu uhotf finn fhQroI N
country anyway
EVERY well regulated household
should have a receptacle for keeping
. valuables.-N Y. Com. Adu. Good ad-
vice; but what many well-regulated
, households lack are the valuables to
keep, after getting the receptacle.
= DURING the recent heated term a
= Chicago clergyman told his hearers that
unless they repented and were born
again they would 60 to st. Louis, where
the worm dieth not and the thermome-
4 ter is one hundred and nine degrees in
r the shade. He made many converts
! No1ristoaon Herald. t-t
f PRINCE LEOPOLD is President of the
r London. Musical. Society. He is better
e qualified for the position than most
s other men, because he don't know the
r lodeon, and can't even distinguish be-
l. tween a bucket of tar and concert
n pitch.-,St Louis Times Journal.
e The man who is ever crying "hum-
If bug !" is usually logical in his reasoning.
g Accept his premises, and you are mex
IS orably carried to the same conclusion.
g He saws within himself. "A Ii men are
g like me; am humbug; therefore all
is men are humbugs." ~
81 STUDENTS from the various colleges
i along the New England coast earn an
70 honest dollar or two waiting on tables
at seaside resorts. To be served with
- baked clans by an undergraduate with
Z silken mustache is the very acme OF
~ rural felicity.--Neao Haven Register.
70 .a.i INFLUENCE.
10 The feryent pale-faced mother she sleep,
in The BEAUTIFUL bare trees, the blue night air,
III The revelation of the staI-strewn deep.
ID Between the tree-tops and the skies, her sight
n Rests on steadfast, ruddy shining light,
m High in the tower, earthly star of even
J" Hers is the faith in saints and angels power,
q, And medita,ipg love, she breathes prayer
r. For Won tired Watcher in the gray old tower.
r He, the shrewd, skeptic poet. unaware,
- Feels comforted and stilled, and knows not
r. whence
no Falls this unwonted peace on heart and sense
-. Midsummer Holiday Scribner.
W THE. Boston Commercial Bulletin notes
to the following prominent arrivals a
ed summer hotels: The man with heavy
an tread. who is "called" at five a. m
to The adhesive fly, who comes without
calling at the same hour. The smal
bow who is learning to whistle Pima
fore % in the halls. The young lady Wit
to thinks "it's quite two awfully jolly
ne don't YOU know" The young gentleman
to who thinks il a Damned baaw" OLE
bv gentleman i'll the next room who snores
er- Young gentleman overhead who prac
,at tices the song -and-danee business a
er- eleven p. m.
nd The young man who, under the press
by ure of the least real or fancied adye1
ew sity, takes TO drink is a grown-up baby
nd but he is nursing the wrong bottle
ed The Young man who is ashamed OF hi
ed mother because she doesn't "put O.
sx- style," aud of his father because h
est doesn't use elegant language, is bab
,hs that has no business to have ever grew
,he up. An overdose of soothing syru
rie would have been blessing to him
de The eighteen-ycar-old girl who is ser
IA, timental, and sighs for his early comm
lct at the gate; we'll, she's grown-up bab
es- that likes to sit in a lap as well as sh
INK ever did.-N H. Register.
~. am "THE poor white !" is poor-ver
:o% moor. The small farmers of the Mort
,ed ,ed can not compare with these in absc
'sa ;y Iuee destitution of money. Do!
the he tor" said one of them, who had slowl
;nb ;ah recovered consciousness, after bein
tha tta terribly injured by an exploding grin'
'ne stone, :" doctor, reckon Pm prett
badly bruk up, amt II" Yes, m
man; you are hurt just about as badi.
ru- to stand a chance of recovery, as an