The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1879-06-07
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

Harvard such Il lively race two years ago Il
said TO resemble Henry Ward Beecher, and, like
him. says he is innocent of the great trans Gres
sion.
The Chs.aro Joa,ndl SAYS the friends Of Mark
GRAY, WHO shot at Edwin Booth, are tea1ut thai
iuhumeu Jurors may sentence him back 10 It
Louis Hor life.
rcporter OF a California encounter says;
Colonel Baeges was shot in the left side, once
in the right shoulder, and once ~ ihe drinking
e.loon adjacent.
". II. Vanderbilts income, the papers say, is
$1,000 an hour That's more than we receive in
whole day.
Hogs are coming down We .aw two occUpy.
ing four seats each coming down on the railroad
from Chicago The ether day.
Two bellies oi Toddtown, Iowa, went TO ball
with Joint beau; but he was not impartialn his
attentions and the talr ones went out to fight.
During tie hair pulling which cnsucd," says a
witness, THE contestants got up against barb
cd-wire fence which appeared TO be hungry for
calico. Their clothing would now make & good
sariegated pattern for Il rag carpet
The gay and festive soda founi,
Now sizzles in the land,
And Deacon and good Mrs. Jones
Around the corner stand
The l2dys gentle nectarne
Within the glass is 1izzin'
The Deacon slyiy winhs and says,
He'll take the same in lisn.
The man who sits down on bent pin may not
remark that he felt that pin aforc, but he Ger.
tainly performs comic hoppery. -Bsdtoni Erd.
yIsworth Of rbe apnp IJ,... J.,,,,uJ .oors
10 have & wonderful faith in thundcrbolts He
Is down on haskell, the clown evangelist, and
thinKs outraged heaven ought to cure him with
q thunderb0t. On Il man practising on from
bone near his office, he mprecates thunderbolts
lie wanted the Illinois Legislature dispersed by
thunderbolt and he thinks old Jupiter could do
the country a service by promiscuous scatter
ing Of thunderbolts around Washington Really
one is almost led TO think that Ellsworth has
lately been kicked by mule
The editor of a rural exchange has got sadly
INTO trouble with a local politician through the
type fond. he had called a local politician "a
veil known riggcr," but the tpyc lend set It up
niger, and the proof reader to tone it down
little, made thread, ''thc wcl-kRown negro" And
now that politician, with blood in his eye, is on
ING lay for the unhappy editor.
Pretty Jennie came to me-
Earnest seeking information:
Cousin, darling, will you show
what is meant by osculation:"
what could mortal man as
DO in such situation?
fathcr, mother, no one nigh,
Liberal views, a great temptation
%cnnie is my cousin too:
So 10 please my young relation
An, you norrid thing, there! now,
referred to occultatonn
- YdIc R,co,d
European dispatches announce the decease Of
al Italian nobleman. Nothing is said about his
Will, 20 it is unknown what disposition be made
Of his organ.
Lord Derby's income is little short of a mill
ion year; he has no children and his wife has
twenty thousand year in her own right That's
The sort OF man that ought TO take hold of tLc
Neeiy motor iDany Jooraol.
tbs EVER THUS.
We stood beside the garden rate.
Her hand gently pressed
ana, bushinG sweet, she laid her head
Upon my Marseles vest
Wit thou be mine!' whispered soft;
"Oh, darling, answer yes.
give sweet consent, and we will seal
The compact with a kiss
on, let Inc have your answer, love,
in tones soft rs a Lutte"
me EZRA raised ed, her head and answered thus
The old mans coming, scoof"
The love felt was far outweirlcd
BY fear Of being booted.
No single moment DELAYED
But dropped her hand and scooed
The political fence has been greatly relieved of
iatc-Presdcnt Hayes having slid Off on the re-
publican side and Senator Davis ON the demo-
cratic side. The Clinton R,gistr thinks HAYES
must nave struck pitch fork handle aud run it
up hls back from the sudden stiffness /, Ia. TAX
ca on.
Two Maine farmers discovered that beans
PLANTED between their rows Of potatoes drove
away the potaos bug. They didn't seem to
know beans.
says the Quincy H,"ld. at i matter Of
proiouho' surprise to the American people that
"ov. Gallon remains silent on the subec, of the
second veto. People will never know whether
the veto is right or wrong until they hear from
the Sucker governor
The Elmira id,t,tivr saws thi. Is the hes, sen
son OF the whole year for bridal tours. becausc
everything !, 50 green aud nice The bride he.
ing nice and he groom green
An ethereal maiden called Maud
was suspected Of being fraud
Scarce crgmb was She able
20 eat AT the table
But i'm the pantry . Lawdl
an enJerpri'ing hen in Iowa, saws the Marshall
H'coci, lJy' two eggs during each - hours. She
- entitled To be called the lightning cackle.a,or
Some men never lose their presence of mind
N New York q man threw his mother. in.law ont
% the NTH story OF Il burning building and car
carried a feather bed down stairs in his arms
Now The winds that softly breathe and the
mowers That Sarlands wreathe gentle hint of
summer IN the mind impants, and so do the bee.
lies and the spider, aud the ants.
40 ErTED And WILL APPEAR
one evening, while reclining
la my easy chair rcpining