The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-07-19
Rules.

Never lie in bed in The morning, unless
you feel like getting up. Then, all author
tiles agree, you should remain between the
sheets.
Before eating, run around your block
until your legs are reduced to the elasticity
OF rubber, and then have somebody carry
you to the druggists, where you should
go through three course of iscriminatc
dosing.
BY this time you Will be ready for break
fast.
Eat anything. and everything you rclig-
iously hate. Never indulge the palate in
its capriciousncss
The same rs to the stomach. 1t can he
set down as an axiom, that whatever that
organ asks for is just what it ought not to
have.
After breakfast, as some hygcists pre-
scribe exercise while others insist on per
feet quiet, it will be well for you to com
blnc in your practice the teachings of both
classes.
Jump over the table few score of
times; then lie upon the sofa for, say, ilf-
teen minutes.
IL you experience any discomfort upon
arising, you should attribute it to an insult
ticicncy of the first part of the programme.
NcSuillc the toDlc-JunplnR.
Spend the remainder of your time until
dinner visiting your friends and getting
their advice and prescriptions for the al
deviation OF your peculiar symptoms.
They all understand your case perfectly,
and will give their advice gratis.
90 to the druggists and make the pur-
chases necessary to following of their
directions, taking thought, by the way, to
0frI n lrntvr tn f,y.,i, a
you.
At dinner the field for acquiring health
Is illmitablc.
First cat everything that "agrccs" " with
Mrs. Smith; then pay proper attention to
whatever "scts well |" on the tender stom-
ach of the elderly maiden Brown; alter
which take in turn the things recommended
by Mrs. Johnson's grandmother, Mr.. John
sons favorite physician, and the Indian
doctor OF the mcdiumislic Miss BlOggs.
Aud now pay strict attention to the tlray-
mans load.
You will need no other exercise, if you
do justice to the pills and potions recon-
mcndcd by your kind friends.
If you feel no Improvement by supper
time, you have indubitablc evidence that
you have either omitted something or par
taken too sparingly of one or several pre-
scriptions.
Max" up your mind to make amends for
your shortcoming by purchasing Il double
quantity on. the morrow, and also by extend
ing your researches among wider circle of
your friends.
The evening meal offers further opportu-
mites for stomachic experiments.
Tnc proper study of mankind is man.
Never forget that
After supper, until bedtime, pass your
time in reading or convcrsing about tho
stomach and liver and upon like inspiritiug
topics.
Never for a moment forget you have
stomach You will have your reward
Your stomach will never forget you. 1t
will ever remind you of its presence
If you are sleepy, sit up; if not, go to
bed. You thus bring your body under sub
lection, which is n great point gained.
On the question of open windows doc
tors disagree. Therefore, hire domestic
to open and close yours through the night.
1t is even better if you can c0ntrive to do
this yourself. 1t gives you exercise not
otherwise convenient Of attaining.
In brief
Think only Of your health.
Follow cvcrybody's advice.
Take all the medicine you can get.
And, if you arc not llntimcly taken off.
you will live to be an enduring monumGt of
the correctness of these brief directions.
and pest to all who know you.