Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1879-02-06
JHisteHan.
WHITE ELEPlIA NTS.

" - 80 '%''h<h hi%h ~ A'F
Some Tales Of These Terrible Animals, by
an Experienced Chronlclcr.
james Payn in Bslgrayia.
know Il good and honest awycr-rd,u
aris in-tno, shall want that fine old
quotation prcscntlyl-an honest lawyer,
who has stated it as his opinion-and his
opinion is what people give pounds and
pounds for-that it is a great mistake to
he much respected" His experience is,
he says, that most persons who have been
thus designated are dead and that the
rest suffer from their goodrcputations. He
| has himself often sucCourcd the widow and
the or phan, free, gratis, for nothing, and
when the orphans have grown up they are
apt to be grateful. They send presents to
thcr "valucd and much respected friend"
from the uttcrmost parts of the earth,
which is what he objects to, even when
they pay the carriage.
And true it Is, it often happens lcvrn
COniinng the matter to this country that
Il present is Il misfortune to one. For cX-
ample, am myself Il poor man, and a
rich friend sends me Il hamcl Of venison.
My larder il not big enough for it to hang
in, my kitchen range is not large enough
| to cook il, and it has to lodge, and even
to board out flor it requires flour and all
sorts of applications daily; thus it costs
as much as a leg of mutton to begin with
Then | am obliged to ask ten people 10
eat il, the expense of which entertainment
reduces me to my last shilling. Ny rich
friend has no wish to imprOvlsh me. but
the effect Of his munticcnCc is similar TO
that of the present Of the While Elephant
which the King Of Siam gives to those
whom he intends to ruin its meat, drink
and clothing for they supply its trunk. OF
course cat them out of house and home.
Or, suppose am rich man, and poor
one sends me, rs friendships Offering,
some ornament for my drawing-room.
which is very tastetully and elegantly fur
nishcd what the deuce am | to do with
| it? If it is really handsome feel that
have robbed him; It it's otherwise, though
oHr does not prize Il gift according to its
cost, it spoils my drawing-room by its con.
trast with what is already there.
Again, there are Il lot of people in the
world who are always giving one presents
winch are worthless, they remember ones
birthday, and ones marriagc-day, and
the anniversary OF the day one WAS APP
pointed Il revising barristcr, or the chan
Ian to the lunatc asylum. They think it is
very touching to call to mind these inter-
cstlng dates by the gift of papGr-kmir,
or IL boz OF tooth-plcH', or u 70 lume of
upper iorms' FOR my part would
much rather compound for all these
subscriptions, as Is done IN the Inns ot
Court, and they gave me a fvc'pound note
ana had done with Them,
lhere Is sun more troublesome sort o!
peOple-generally very wcalthy-who in
SlSt upon paying, your fare for you when
you travel with them by the Underground.
or on deiraYilng the turnpike toll when You
drlYc over the bridge; but to get a five.
pound note ont OF them--in the way of
composition or any other,-iS u dream TO bc
lnduIged III not even by the most san.
gulne.
,lhen there are some excellent persons
VINO insist upon providing us with some
specimens OF thelr own particular prOduC.
tons; what they have themScI yes invented,
concocted or made captive by their own
out OF ten, anu independently Of the obi
cation incurred, one would infinitely
rather be without
l0Qnr friend the amateur author, for ex.
ample. sends You Il presentation copy of
ms hrst novel IN three volumes. Now, !
what are you to do with that? OF course,
II you are prepared to read 1t have moth |
ing further to say; but suppose you shrink |
from proceeding TO that dread extremity;
You have IN that case to sit down and |
write quickly that You have received hls
most thoughtful present, which will indeed |
be highly priced, and that you are "lool,. |
ing forward with the greatest eagemess"
to its pcrusaI. But if yOu think that will |
satisfy him, except for the moment, you
are very much mistaken. He will be sure
to inquire your opinion, sooner Or later,
about that immortal work-and then be on
your guard; for fatal to your friendship
with him will be the moment when he
eliclts the truth. Above all things, cut
the book mean with the paper.knifc-
on the instant Of its arrival; no eulogy,
however vague and skilful, will avail you
if he discovers that this precautlon has
not been taken.
wives, who, not content with delightiur
their own families with preserves and
pickles, and even medicines of their own
manufacture, export them to other peo.
pies houses; they present one ut Christ.
mas with " bottle Of homemade Curacoa,
better, as they inform us, than any we can
get at the wine merchants; and some
specific of their own connection, which,
however sovereign" it may be against
all other ailments, is quite powerless to
ward of the effects Of the Curacao.
Or again, ones friend is u sportsman,
who having procured some prize of excop.
tional rarity, and modestly thinking it is
too good for his table Tor perhaps not un-
willing that we should bear personal testi-
mony to his prowess), sends it to us (gen-
orally unpaid by rail.