Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1879-08-14
Newspaper Waits.

During the deluge Mr.. Noah was in the
habit of calling his wife an ark angel.-At-1
bany Times.
A stick in time saves nine boys out of
ten.-Albany Erening Journal.
If you are ambitious to move in the
highest circles join the next expedition
to the Arctic circles.
West Point has a Filtration Walk, where
the cadets learn the tactics used in en-
gagements.-Nea0 Orleans Ptcayule.
.'Give the devil his due,'' said fiighty
orator. Then up rose a backwoOdsman
and said. 'He viii take his due; don't |
you be afeard."
s'Smile when you can,'' is the latest |
thing we are asked tOdo by those gratui- !
tously admonitory beings, the poets. No |
one can smile when he can't.
Seventeen persons were poisoned by
drinking lemonade at picnic at Lanes
borough, Minn., the other day. Some
scoundrel must have put some lemons
and sugar in its-NOrristOl1R Herald.
He was inclined to be facetious. ''What
quantities of dried grasses you keep here,
! Miss Stebbinsi Nice room for donkey
to get into!'' fsMake yourself at home,"
she responded, with sweet gravity.
There are two little girls of the same
name in New London. Conn. The other
night one them said her prayers, and for
fear they might be credited to the other
child, she added, after the Amen, ''No.
10 Orange street"
He was disguised boy. He had exer-
cised great caution and had finally sue
ceeded in crawling, unobserved. under
the canvass into the tent. And he found
it was not circus but a revival meeting
| -, Da9F
The clergyman in a certain town, as
the custom is, having published the banns
of matFimony between two persons, was
: followed by the clerks reading the hymn
beginning with these words: "Deluded
| souls, that dream of heaven ~
ssDfd YOU observe the Fourth ?'' asked
= Judge Wilson of a man sitting on the
: prisoners bench, with both eyes tied up.
81 did - replied that individual, land
n haven't been able to observe anything
since. 90 Cincinnati Saturday Night.
o, A newly-married lady was telling an
: other how nicely her husband could
s write. 'tOh, you should just see some OF
= his love-letters - eyes, l KNOW" was
o the freezing reply; GIVE got Il bushel OF
{ them at home in my trunk. [Tableau.l
+ "Charles, are you not going to bio
: goodbye to your sisters?'' ''If they loved
: me less, mamma, if their affection Were
; less sincere and unconventional. But
o must positively put my foot down once
v for all. cannot be rumpled !''-Pesck
5 Scan you tell me where the wicked
e boys go who fish on Sunday?" asked 4;
l. sOber-looking gentleman of little chaI
1t who had worms and rod. Eyes; some o
1T 'em goes to the river, and them as is yer.
e wicked goes to the lake. I'll show yo'
Jf the best place at the lake"
4 IoS l., Il
re requests two of his friends to arrang
IN with his adversary the hour of the meet
"a ing. 'FMake it to morrow" he says
''but not in the forenoon, because 1 mus
m visit four patients before going to tn
10 ground - 81 see,' murmurs one of tn
g Seconds, she wants to get his hand in"
n An old farmer intent on making hi
he will was asked by the lawyer the nam
at of his wife, when he gravely replied :
lis what it is ;we've been married for upwar
e. of forty years, and l always called he
nv old woman" The lawyer left blanl
to be filled up when his old woman
name was ascertained.
When a man comes up to us and mel
tions "that little BILL" we reply: 90
ast yes; we should have fixed that some tin
Dr. ago, but had to go to Memphis to wri
ms up the scourage. just got back to-da
gn Come down to the office and Well gil
lat you the money; it's in our travelling bag
&C. And he says he's got to run to catch
lot train.--BoetoR Post.
nc Beaconsfield still refuses to touch A
n. gernon Turner's testimonial wreath, an
no the question now, is, what will AlgernC
he Turner do with it? It is beautifl
he wreath, all gold and gems, and we su
ed gest that if he wants still stouter to GENE
ia the friendship between the two countrie
90 hecan't do better than bind it on Il
M classic brow of Talmage.--Albany Eoeni
1at Journal.
tn, fsHere we have the great Egyptian wo
re- der, captured in the wills of South "A Fl
zee ca, with loss of five thousand men al
ar an expenditure of forty millions of trea
ny ure l'' exclaimed the Snowman, shakir
re- his whip in threatening manner at
Did stuffed hide in glass cage. ''DOn't
at, too close, ;" said a mother to her son;
lad might seize you.'' t'Have no fears, ma
ere am, for the safety of your offspring" O
art served the Snowman, eloquently; ''f
AN does not the good book teach us that wo
to- ders will never seize? Pass rapidly on
ICY the next cage and view the living skel
OF ton, or the man who married his motht
de- in-Iaw. &c Cincinnati Enquirer.
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