The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1879-03-06
WHOLE NO. 1854.
Miscellaneous.
Hard soap-Cast steel (Castille.)
Domestic cannibals-Back. biters.

A highly colored tale-The peacocks.
Moving for new trial-Courting q
second wife.
Isn't a billiard player a baize ball play.
er What think cue2
Buckskin gloves are dear, because the
deer is the bucks skin.
There are too as to spell separate, but
the wrong way is spelled with the more
els.
1t takes good deal of grief to kill
woman after she has just got new seal
skin sacque.
What is the best thing to keep people
from breaking through the ice in public
parks2 An officer
Joaquin Miller has written new play
for Mckee Rankin. He calls it 49," and
expects it will draw like 60.
A Kentucky mule reached out with
his left foot for can of nitro -glycerine,
the other day, and now he hasn't any
foot left.
'You ought to husband your coal more"
10.
l make him sift ashes and pick the Gin.
ders.
No greater suffering can be endured
than to have man insist upon your ac-
cepting bad cigar, and holding you in
conversation until it is half smoked.
Whom the gods love dye young" It
is surprising what large number of in
cipient moustaches the gods love in Nor
ristown, says the Herald.
A Whitehall justice centenced man
who stole cent to the penny-tentiary.-
Times. And the justice says if that. man
doesn't reform old Nickel get him.
A woman does not hesitate great
barrel of -four Because, you see, Just as
like as not the bonnet will have -four
upon it.
A down east" editor says that he had
liked to died larfin, to see drunken man
tryin to pocket the shadow of a swinging
sign for pocket handkerchief
Somebody Coming When the Dew
drops Falp' is said to be very beautiful
song. Somebody's Coming When the
ANOpO dilo DuO 10 AOI 5O CACAdAtIuRs
The York Express says, "It is not to
be expected that your tailor will trust
you forever" OF course, not. If he
trusts you for clothes, that is all you can
expect of him.
There is time in young mans exist
ence when life is as sweet as honey, and
that is when he hires a sleigh and gets q
pretty girl to hold the horse while he
holds the girl. ...-.
A lady in Rhode Island put quart of
dried apples to soak, without thinking of
their swelling qualities, and for an hour
it was thought that the whole State
would be submerged. =.
"Cut glass bottles" in large letters,
stares at us from the advertising pages of
a contemporary. Yes, young man "cut"
glass bottles especially if they have wine
or spirits in them.
There is period in every boys life
when he has an unearthly, unquenchable
desire to build a skating pond in the
back yard for the girl to fall down on
when she hangs out clothes.
An Irishman went to Scotland to live
for short time, but didn't like the
country. 81 was sick all the time was
there" said he; "And if l had lived
there until this time, I'd been dead
year ago"
A man in a Kansas Jail confesses to
having committed nine murders within
the last three years. 1t is suspected that
he was sick fourteen months in the three
years, or he would have made a better
showing.
Going into the dwelling of neighbor,
with suspicious-looking boots. the good
wife hailed him with did you see the
scraper at the door ?" "Yes'm," was the
reply, And intend to use it when l 60
out"
Owing to the custom of dying the hair
blonde, the guests of our cheap boarding
houses are unable to note the changes
among the female help as accurately as
formerly, the hairs in the hash being of
a more uniform color.
The Cleveland Plaindealer, comparing
the staple products of the South and
West, says: Cotton is a convenience, to
be sure, but corn is a necessity. A man
can live without shirt, but what can he
do without whisky p
There is letter in the Williamsburgh
Post Office addressed to "Modesty," and
nobody has dared to claim it through
fear of being arrested. The postmaster
might know that it was meant for US, if
he would only stop to think.
While Mrs. Scott Siddons was in the
Sandwich Islands native became so en-
amored of her that he offered her hus-
band big bunch of bananas and three
cocoanuts for her. According to this
valuation he would not give more than a
five-cent sandwich for DR.. Mary Walker.
1t is remarked as a curious circum-
stance that when the anti-Chinese bill
passed the Senate, that body was presid-
ed over by Senator Bruce, negro. 1t is
not many years since the prejudice
against the 'nigger" was as great as 1T Is
against the heather Chinee" at this
time.
1t is not true that Bertha Won Hillern
has got paralysis of the i. Now before
we complete the word let US reflect. If
we go on and say "-egs," some awful
particular folk will stop their subscrip-
tions, and if we say limbs" the other
crowd will accuse US of mock modesty.
Guess we won't finish the sentence. Any
how, she amt got paralysis.
She was trimming the lamps, and just
as wick dropped out of reach her moth.
er heard her exclaim "Oh, the Dickensl'
There, there, my child Why will you
indulge in such expressions p Then she
fingered for the lost wick, and exclaimed:
why, Ma, isn't that natural sugges.
| ton of Pickwick p
well, Cuffee," said clergyman to his
colored servant, What were you doing
in meeting this afternoon ?" Doing
Massa was taking notes" you tax.
ing notes p exclaimed the master. "Sar.
! ..oeea. al of bo fol ko