The Worthington advance., 1879-05-22
MADAM SCANDAL.

l ACAot IA 1CCIAfS loW ulO C&SCAl OluCl, oAANS
the good old time when good old Parson
Herit had united them in the holy bonds Of
| wedlock twenty-five years before. So we'll
was the fact of their congenial happiness
known, that they were spoken Of far and
near as the happiest pair in England.
| Now the Devil (excuse the abrupt men
ton of his name) had been trying to
create what is called ''fuss in the fami-
! ly" between these old companions. But
much to his modification, he had not
been able to induce the old gentleman
to grumble about breakfast being too late
or the old woman to give single curtain
] lecture.
| After repeated efforts, the Devil became
discouraged, and had hc not been per-
| son Of great determination, he would
doubtless have given up in despair. One
day he walked along in a very surly
mood, after another attempt to get the
old lady to quarrel about the pigs getting
into the yard, he met an old lady, friend
Of the aged couple. AS Mr.. Devil and
the neighbor were very particular friends
they must needs stop on the wey and chat
a little
"Good morning, sir,' she said, ''and
pray what on earth makes you look 80
bad this morning? Isn't the controversy
between the two churches doing good
servicc?'
eyes"
"Isn't Deacon w. making plenty of bad
whisky?'
Yes"
"Well, what is the matter, my highly
honored master?'
'''Everything is going we'll enough, re-
Piled the Devil, ''but, (and he looked as
sour as u monkey OH Il cra',-apple trcc)
old Blueford and his wife over here are
injuring the cause terribly by their bad
example; and after trying four years to
induce them to do right, / must
say l considered them hopeless
The hag stood moment in deep
thought.
Are you sure yon have tried every
way?"
every way think Of
care you ccrtain?'
''Yes.'
"Well, replied she, ''if you will promise
to make me a present of a new pair Of
shoes, i'll case succeeded, I will make
the attempt myself, and see if can raise
| a quarrel between thcm."
To this reasonable request the Devil
gladly asscntcd. The old hag went her
way to old Blueford's house, and found
Mrs. Bluciord busily engaged in getting
things ready for her husbands comfort on
his return from work. After the usual
compliments had passed the following
dialogue took place.
"Well, friend b., you and Mr.. B. have
lived together long timc.''
give and twenty years coming Novcm-
her," replied Mrs. B.
"All this time you never had a quar-
| rel?'
"Not one"
~ am truly glad TO hear it, continued
the hag. Il consider it my duty to warn
you, though this is the case, you must not
expect it to he always. Have you not
observed that of late Mr. B. has grown
pcevish and sullen at timcs:'
"A very little so,' observed Mrs Blue
ford.
II knew it, continued the hag; & and
| let me warn you to be on your guard
Mrs. B. did think she had better do 50,
and asked advice rs to how the should
manage the case.
"Have you not noticed said the hag,
s'that your husband has bunch of long,
harsh hair growing under the chin on the
side of his throat:'
eyes"
These are the cause Of the trouble, and
as long as they remain you had better
look out. Now, as friend, I would
| advise you to cut them off the first time
you get a chance, and thus end your
trouble, and as long as they remain you
had better look out.
Soon after this the hag started for
home, and made it convenient to meet
Mr.. B. on the way. Much the same talk
in relation to his domestic happiness
passed between him and the old woman.
"But, friend Blueford," said she, II
| think it is my duty as Christian to
warn you to be on your guard; for tell
you yonr wife intends your ruin"
''Old Mr.. B. Yves very much astonishcd,
yet he could not wholly discredit her
words. When he reached home he
threw himself on the bed in perplexity,
and feigning himself asleep, studied the
matter over in his mind. His wife,
thinking this a good opportunity, for
cutting off his obnoxious hair, took her
husbands razor and crept softly to his
side. Now the old lady was very much
frightened at holding a razor so close to
her husband 8 neck, and her hand was not
SO steady as it once was, so between the
| two she went to work very awkwardly,
and pulled the hairs, instead of cutting
them off: Mr.. B. OF pcned his eyes, and
there stood his wife with razor at his
throat. After what had been told him,
and seeing this, he could not doubt but
that she intended to murder him. He
sprang from the bed in horror, and no
explanation or entreaties could convince
him to the contrary. So from that time
there was a. jaw, jaw, quarrcling and
wrangling all the time.
With delight the Devil heard of the
faithful emissary, and sent her word it
she would meet him at the end of the
lane at certain time he would pay her
the shoes. At the appointed time she re-
paired to the spot, and found the Devil at
the place. He putZthe shoes on a pole,
and standing on the opposite side Of the
fence, handed them over to her. She was
l WI AAuNh fACdSCSA WIFI lICul-luCy were
exactly the article.
'But there is one thing, Mr.. D.,
would like to have explained; that is,
why you hand them to me on stick"
every easy to explain" replied he, ssany
one who has the cunning and mcanness to
do as you have done, don't get nearer
than twenty feet to me-" So saying he
fled in terror
After while the old woman died, and
when she applied for admittance to the
lower regions, the Devil would not let
her in, for fear she might dethrone him,
as she was his superior. So the old wom-
an is yet condemned to wander over the
world, creating quarrels and strife in
peaceful families and neighborh0ods.
Would you know her name?
1t is Madam Scandal. When she died
the young Scandals were left orphans, but
I no~~S