The Osceola times., 1879-05-17
FACTS AND FANCIES.

ChAh.Es bLAkE' OF jersey city, sports
besrd five feet long.
A MAINE railroad man has invented a
comfortable car seat designed to furnish
sleeping accommodation for ordinary
passenger cars.
WE are ruined by English cheap
labor, the Buffalo Express thinks, bes
cause Colonel Mspeson took away
with him $50 900, and Rowell 500 900.
MRS MONTAGUE once said TO Sir
William Pepys, on seeing very awkward
man coming irto the room, There Is q
man who would give one of his hands to
know what to do with the other"
Mr.. B. CHAMBERS of the postoffice
department at Washington, writes that
there are no fewer than four thousand
women postmasters in the United States,
and that the number is on the increase.
A MAN, whose wife hanged herself in
his presence, on being asked why he did
not prevent the tragedy, replied, / cut
her down three times last week, and /
can't be always cutting her down."
The income of the widow of Lieuten.
ant Benner, the yellow fever hero, is $500,
derived from the fund raised for her
and invested in government bonds. She
has also been given comfortable home
in Elgin, Illinois.
THRY are building little stesmboat'at
San Francisco for Honolulu, and her
owners has made its name the subject OF
a riddle at the Hawaiian Islands, prom.
ising any one who discovers it before 1t
is announced free passage on the vessel
to any point ON her route for one year.
AN Oil City boy who had run away
from home, and at last returned, was
asked If his father had killed the fatted
cali for the prodigal "Not much," he
replied. "He didn't kill the fatted calf,
but he wanted to slay the prodigal."
MRS. JOHN SEYFERT, aged thirty
years. of Reading, has been sleeping
almost continuously for three months,
She arouses herset long toward MIDI
night, and partskes OF bite or two of
food, and then drops off to sleep again.
WHEN butcher sells piece of meat
he lays 1t on the corner of AN immense
sheet of coarse brown paper and rolls 1t
up, and then begins over again and rolls
it up in another sheet, and 80 on till the
purchaser is at loss to know whether
he is paying for the meat or the paper.
I" AUGUSTUS, did you think to take
my hymn book out of the rack after
service this morning9" at didn't,
love-" "Oh what a shame 1t isn't
bit fashionable this year to leave books
In pews, and besides that binding was
so outre. 1t does seem as II we were
just beset by calamities wherever We
CO."
JAMES L. DUMPHRKY, q Reading,
Vt. hotel keeper, on getting out OF bed
in the morning, said that he would die
before night. He made his will, dressed
himself as he desired to be bur ed, and
then reclined in an easy chair, with q
pipe and bible, to prepare for death.
The astounding part OF the story is that
he did die, an attack Of heart disease
carving him of.
EsTHETIC entertainments: Lucy has
posed the little rustic model, and Mary,
Maud and Msdaline sit, pencil in hand,
ready to catch and transfer to paper the
child's expression of wonderment and
delight as 1t listens for the first time In
its life to the murmur of the shell.
Lucy: Now, darling, put the pretty
shell to your ear and bark to what it
ssys" Rustic Model: "Lor Is that
all Why, beer jug can do that"
Il Lendon Punch.
DIR. THOMPSON, taking for his text,
" Look not upon the wine when it is red
in the cup" enlarged upon the evil
effects OF drinking upon the head, heart
and purse. As the congregation depart.
ed, two old cronies, given to taking more
than wee drop, talked over the sermon.
"Did you hear yon, Johnnie ?" ne'er
winked an e'e." "Aweel, an what
thought ye OF p Deed, Davie, think
he has been a lad in his day, or he
couldna ha kne'd sac weel about 1t he's
been sly hand, the ninisterl"
ALL of one long, happy hour mamma
had been reading to the little ones, Sum
day afternoon, and talking to them sbsut
heaven and the angels, and showing
them pictures of angels with their snowy
wings. Suddenly Jack shouted: "Mo-
ther, when Pm an angel want to be
Shanghai" Shocked silence on the part
Of the family circle, followed by the
explanatory cause by Jack: " feathers
on my legs you know" Mother dis-
missed the little congregation without
the usual benediction.- Burlington