Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-01-08
NO. 3.
A Backward Cow Ride.

During the Revolutionary War,
when corps of the American army
was encamped near the borough of
ElizabethtOwu, New Jersey, an officer,
who, bv the way. was more of a devo-
tee to Venus than of Mars, paid his ad
dresses TO a lady of distinction, whom
he was in the habit of visiting. On
discovery of the repeated absence of the
officer, and of the place where inter-
views with lis Dulcina were had, some
waggish friends resolved to play off
handsome trick at his expense, which
should deter him from repetition of
his visits. The officer, it appears, rode
a very small horse of the pony kind,
which he left united with the bride
reins over his neck, near the door, in
order to mount and ride of without de-
lay, when the business of courting and
kissing was over; and the horse always
remained until backed by the owner
without attempting to change his po-
sition. On certain dark and gloomy
night. when the officer had, as usual,
gone to pay mis- devotions to the object
of his dearest affections, and was enjoy
ing the approving smiles of the lovely
fair one, his waggish companions went
privately TO the door of the house
where the officer was, took his bride
and saddle from the horse, which they
sent away, placed the bride on the tail
and the saddle on the back and the
crupper over the horns of a quiet old
COW, who stood peaceably chewing her
cud, near the spot. Immediately there
after they retired some distance from
the house, and separating, raised the
loud cry of alarm, that the enemy had
landed and were marching into the viii
iage. Our hero, on hearing this, took
counsel from his fears, aud snatehinga
hasty kiss, he shot out of the door with
the velocity of a musket ball, and
mounted into the saddle, with his back
toward the head of the cow, and pluEg-
Ing his sharp spurs keenly into her
sides, caused her to bawl out with ex-
cessive pain, and she darted in her best
gallop towards the camp. The officer
still plying his spurs with all wine on
board-finding himself hurried rapidly
backwards, maugre of all his efforts TO
advance, and fearing the repeated bawl-
ings of the tortured beast, imagined
that he was carried off by magic, and
devil had got him-was thus carried in
to the centre of the camp. The sentin-
els, hearing the noise, discharged their
pieces and He'd, the alarm guns were
fired-the drums beat to arms, the offic-
ers left their quarters and cried ''turn
OUT" with all the strength of their
lungs. The soldiers started from their
sleep as if ghost had disturbed their
dreams, and the whole body running
half naked as quick as possible in gal
liant dishabille, prepared to repel the
terrible invader. When, 10. the ludic-
rous sight soon presented itself to their
eyes, of the gallant officer, mounted on
a COW, with his face towards her tail
her to-. que hanging out-her sides gorv
with the gonging of the spurs, and he
himself almost deprived Of reason, and
half petrified with horror. A loud roar
of laughter broke from the assembled
band, at the rider and his steed; the
whole corps gave him three times three
cheers as he bolted into camp. He was
carried to his quarters in triumph, there
TO dream of lovers, metamOrphOses,
backward rides, sternway advances,
and alarm of inv Sion, and thereby gar
nish his mind with materials for writ
ing splendid treati . on the novel adj
venture OF a COW rija.