Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1879-05-16
ViIxIORUM NOTES.


NIB RNIAN.
The fralau said with tragic men,
IN ole for my opinion,
But never yield lie took phiue
He's now a still morephinian
A radical presents himself to have regis
tered the birth OF his son. The clerk notes
:he names. etc, and hands the proud father
the book and pen. saying, sign your name
here Il don't write. Then make your
! marx put a cross here. Son, my politi-
cal convictions preclude me from making any
such concession to = dishononng super
stition
The uimble footed mule Is used las the light
fantastic tow foI = canal boat New Orleans
PIcayune.
The north pole resembles certain Eng
llsh coin in that it Is far thing - PElln-
deiphia Chronicle Herald.
Are strawberries really as sour as they look
to be This is a question for mlilionaires
only New Haven Register.
Some men never lose their presence ct
mind In New York man threw his moth
er-in-Iaw out OF window in the fifth story
Of "a burning building and carried a feather
bed down stairs III his arms.
From the Emerald Isle Visitor Mrs
Bobitol at home New Irish Footman
Mrs Bobitol is not at home, sor. But
don't rightly know if she won't see you
London Punch
All 10 Won begin to notice Just about now
innocent little items about tbs lake and that
lake and the wail-eyed pike, and the PICKER
al, and the black bass and tine carp, and the
yellow perch, and the drumheads, and things
The summer resorts are beginning to tell fish
stories RI Burlington Hawkeye.
Smith who had always been tough one,
has Just died. The physician is met coming
from the house ly Brown, who asks, Doc
tor how is Smith Is he out OF danger ~
Physician No he is dead. poor fellow,
but he Is far from being out of danger,
fear. ~ Boston Transcript
Scene The outside of an omnibus. Party
who doesn't know much about 'osses)- And
what do YOU call the horse on the right hand
side, driver He looks a good sort Driv-
or Oh that the of 'un." Party-"Is it
indeed Dear me Lost both his parents,
l s'pose2 20 but what on earth we're they all
laughing at 3.
4 Partisan loses one Of his friends from
whom he has time and again borrowed a '.
until he has sold his dog, or until Saturday
after two clock, and bitterly mourns his
loss lyon seem deeply afflicted, said q
lady Afflicted Oh. madam, if you only
knew now much owe that man r. French
Paper
In Professor Huzleys recent WORK on
hume, there Is this passage ''Ore of the
most curious peculiarIties OF the dog mind
L. lis Inherent snobbishness, shown by the
regard paid to external responsibility. The
dog who barks furiously at a heggar will let
a well-dressed man pass him without opposi-
ton. Has he not generic idea of rags and
dirt associated with the idea of aversion, and
that OF sleek broadcloth associated with the
idea Of liking
When one Of the height cars run INTO the
| Mon station in Detroit the other day was
unlocked, out walked tramp who had been
locked in at Chicago He looked as rumpied
as q man who had been relied down hill in
camel and as he limped OF, one of the en-.
plcyes called out "Here-I want to see you
Il minute ~ Cant stop, replied the man
as he hurried on. MY r.le is to 90 right to
i first class hotel as soon as arrive in town,
and can make Detroit en- exception
A son as sprlng pat of heE irown,
And man PUT oil his ulster,
far woman put her bonnet on.
With ioy that most conyulsed her.
Tor there is nausht to her 90 dea7
As new and sweet spring bonnet
Tut there j. nsught he more dOcstedr
Ihan drop OF rain upon it
Lips Is noun, and yet they often make a
conjuLction. Waterloo Observer
Two small hut benevolent infants III the
park oh, dear my beetles only dot five
leg BREAK auJzyer one Gil, Johnny, SOS !
L. Won be lame Exchange.
The Chief OF Police in St Petersburg has
resigned, but the Gar won't accept his re-
signation, and the poor man expects to be |
shot IN his tracks every moment. Better be |
an humble policeman iocusting an molten |
size citizen in New York than the chief OF |
the "iorCe in st Petersburg y Detroit Free |
Press.
Judge Have You anything to offer to |
the court before sentence is passed on you =.
Prisoner No judge I had ten dollars, |
but inv LAWYERS took that
An editor, in the opinion OF the Norris
town Herald, has one advantage over king. |
When the editor goes out riding in his open |
barouche drawn by four milk-white steeds he |
is never shot at by Socialist. You have |
probably remarked this yourself