The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-07-31
BR{L'-<f- BRIC,

| VII vi t'ic "ilStS Is worth two
| on the ear.
5,-The8pos'agc stamp knows its
pace after il has been licked once. 81 s
-Listcning to the ''voiccs Of na-
turc" wo note that green corn is little
husky.% H&. -
| "A man that will invent a shirt Of
tissue paper will receive the congratu-
lations of the cnti.e community.
on; give mo II bed on chunk OF Ice,
way down In thousand foot we'll
FOR Rm sick OF this hot SPELL. = ), - +
Judge Elliott refused to drink with
Butord, and then Buford shot him.
| This shall be a warning to us.-Bostou
The Chicago Times knows that
the back bone which President HAYES
used has been returned to the Smith
sonian Institute.
-Ilanlan can just sign his name, but
nc Is more Of Il hero in Canada too
than Earl Duflcrin was after he made
his off-hand speech in Greek.
Tho seats in all tho colorcd Georgia
| churches are nailed down, and when q
row takes place the congregation must
rush out doors for weapons.
The wreck Of the steamer State Of
Virginia proves that it is safer toput
trust in schooncrS Of bcCr than in
ships Of iron or wood.
Tho Hon. Il. Chandler is going to
visit his son-in-law Hale. Hale, it np-
pears, has q paddock in which Zachary
can run loose when he gets on tarc. -
1tiantu Constellation.
-Somc wise old codgor orcc said:
When thing is once begun it is al
most half done" We've thought so
before now when getting outside of a
glass Of becr.--Deiric&.
An nuctioncer was endcavoripo 70
sell fowling-piccc, and falling to Get
| bid, bvSlandcr who had read thc
papers said: 'Dlow in the muzzlc and
it will go off,"
-Nansas SIN: The remark comes
from good authority that JEFF Davis is
OLD, bent, and feeble with age. Under
this state Of affairs it might perhaps,
be safe to reduce the arlny.
1t seems remarkable that q nice
casy-chair at home is so much less
comfortable to man than the side Of
| q dry-goOdS box, Ona street corner
with crowd of loafers around.
"A cute Yankee in Kansas sells
whiskey in a gun barrel instead Of
glass, that he may avoid the law, and
make it appear beyond dispute that he
is selling .whiskcy by the barrel.
The New Haven Register calls
upon some ingenious fellow to invent
a preparation for browning q mans
face, and taking the skin of Ills nose. so
that seaside resorts can be dispensed
| with. .. ~.
-England is buying all the copies of
the Congressional RECORD she can Sc
! cure in this country. n cannon charm-
cd with Congressional Records is tic
only thing Iul,ls are afraid of.---IhiIu.
Ch1on. -,
A new novel is called s'Shadrach."
This is an appropriate time for "Shad-
rach" to put in appearance. lie will
bo strongly reminded Of tho fiery fur
mace he once passed through. MOP
'fSt0scn Herald.
-"Thc bugs that fly around the lamp
at night" says the Fond du Lac Re-
porter, ''must have iirst class titles to
real estate, because they wouldn't show
such preference for tic light unless
thrrhends were good" ..,
The New Orleans Picayua,e tells
Of Boston man who began life as
coachman md is now worth S2,5OO-
OOO. We suppose the young ladv's
father forgavo them and set them up
! in life. - gu.
Captain Paul Boynton contcmplatcs
marriage. He will probably intro
ducc something new in the way Of
wedding tours by floating fifty miles
or so down the Ohio river with his
wife. The bride would wear a water
| cd silk, of course. ...
This is q world Of curious contra
d!ctions, ruminatcs the Boston
HcrdM. The gossiping village dame
who, upon the slightest proVocalion,
would blast your life by the breath of
SANDER, would also stand to You at
your sick bed like sister Of mercy.
THE baseball foyer is raging in
Rhode Island. The only difficulty in
playing the game there is that the con-
tire and right folders have to stand in
Massachusetts and the left in Conncti-
cut, while the catcher is in constant
danger Of backing off into tho Allan
| tic ocean. p Ti''
"A paper in Memphis related l, case
OLA beautiful young lady, the daugh-
ter Of wealthy parents, clipping with an
editor. That is as it should be. We
thought all along that young ladies
would eventually. recover from the
coaclman mania and aspire to the no
bility again.
No matter how smooth the sea of
life may seem to the young marine
who has just launched his frail bark on
its untircd waters, there are shoals,
hidden rocks, and quicksands which
will gobble him up with as much alac-
riiy as q. country editor scoops in a
subscription to his paper.
The United States consuls have
evidently heard from John Sherman.
Ihey are running away from Grant as
if the old man had the plague in his
train. This is the most horrible phase
Of disloyalty since the peace dawned
on the republic.-AtlaAto Constitu-
ton.
| "A Watertown (Vt.) woman mois-
tened her handkerchief and rubbed it
on one Of Barnum's tattoocd mems
Ions Sho sni1 If Syoc kl,,oJ l,,, a.