The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1879-01-24
NEW NOR -WEsTERs.

Senator Sharon is round -shouldered.
"A noisy fellow annoys fellow.
Caleb Cushing had fine, straight hair
The best illustrated paper out-A banl
note.
-Sanctum money-That in an editors
drawer.
"A constitutional amendment-Conva
lescence.
Sitting Bull must be preparing to leave
Canada. He has married three wives with
in four weeks.
Merely to mention Bogardus is to sug
gest accurate shooting. There is good
deal in an aim.
They hang up each others stockings il
Texas, and unfortunately the owner of the
stockings goes with 'em.
Bill Hart used to draw tears when he
played on his horn in his minstrel shows.
Hartsborn usually has that effect.
When q tramp approaches. saying
AAluA cAf AOAO 1AO yOaA Vtsts AAo AZ SOAAoa"
ally satisfied if he can borrow quarter.
The man who can't catch cold now and
then, and who never has pains or aches,
was intended originally for rhinoceros.
Don't you feel nice when, after hay-
ing lost your collar button, and bought D
new one, you find the old one in your
boot? -.
Among the banners borne in tenn
perance procession in a country town was
one reading "All's we'll when daddys
SOBER"
"A man is going to have his mama
stamped on 100000 toothpicks. That
mans name will be in everybodys
mouth.
Profanity in Texas is against the Law,
$100 worth each time. They think of en-
forcing the law for month aud paying thu
national debt. F~
-"Our enormous consumption of tim
ber" is theme which all young men who
| chew toothpicks on hotel verandas are re-
| quested to consider.
The Indiana supreme court has decid-
ed, in the suit of church against a MEM
Der, that subscriptions made on Sunday
cannot be collected by law.
The Five Stages of Brandy and Water.
First-Brandy and water. Second-Bran-
ny and WARNER. Third-Bran war;.
Fourth-Brraorr. Fifth-Collapse
Railroad companies are ever willing to
compensate the traveller who sustains fa-
tai injury on their lines by making a dead
head of him at once and forever after.
Grow flowers, bright fowersi
They speak of hope to the fainting heart
With voice of promise they come and part.
They bear with them thoughts of SIMMER hours,
And the dreams of our youth-grow flowers, sweet
flowers. fk
An English physician recommends the
juice of celery. mixed with honey af roses
and barley water, to be used as gargle
by those who suffer with sores and ulcers
in the mouth and throat.
--"Our life is bnt winters day;
Some only breakfast and away;
Others to dinner stay and are full-fed
The oldest man but sups and goes to bed.
Large is his debt that fingers out the day.
He that goes soonest has the least to pay"
-Scene-Boarding- house table Bache-
lor with far-away look soliloquizes !:
"Oh, that mad the wings of dove p
Landlady: "Pray, what would you do
with them, Mr.. Jones % Jones "rd fly
away and get the rest"
"A rapid and emphatic recital of the
following simple narrative is an infallible
cure for lisping Hobbs meets Snobbs and
Nobbs Hobbs bobs to Snobbs and Nobbs;
Hobbs nobs with Snobbs and robs Nobbs'
fobs. 'This is" says Nobbs, the
worst of Hobbs jobs; - and Snobbs sobs.
The Boston Transcript says Bayard
Taylor wrote two of the best lines in
English poetry in his little newspaper bal
lad on the "Annie Laurie - incident in
the Crimea-
{. The braYest are the tenderest,
The Loving are the daring"
The editor presented bill for eight
years back subscription. The old man
was first amazed, then indignant. He put
on his spectacles, scutinizsd the bill, and
after assuring himself that it was genuine,
he exclaimed "I've been supportin' this
yere paper for nigh onto eight years, and
I never had no such thing as that flung
at me before. Til stop supportin' it,"
He not only withdrew his valuable sup
port, but failed to pay the bill.
AT the battle of Shiloh in April, 1862,
A. D. Macarthur, of the Texas Rangers,
in the Confederate army, was shot in the
left shoulder, the ball pa 'sing through the
upper portion of the left lung and lodged
in the right side. From that time until a
few days ago its exact location was mys.
terry He finally drifted west to California,
and few days ago felt astinging sensation
under his right shoulder-blade. A doctor
was called iu who could plainly feel the
ball, and with the aid of instruments ex-
tracted it from the place where it had been
concealed for 16 years,
Many daily newspapers have been pub
fishing full abstracts of Talmage's SER
mons, representing that they were sent to
them by telegraph. The Baltimore Gazette
thus talks out in meetin': "We have re-
ceived from an enterprising Literary Bu-
reau in New York proposition to furnish
Rev. Mr.. Talmage's sensational sermons for
publication three days in advance of their
delivery. The terms are moderate, but SO
long as Mr.. Talmage is in the show busi-
ness he should pay to have his so.called
sermons printed in the newspapers. To
ask publishers to pay for the privilege Of
advertising him is a remarkable display of
what the people in the amusement line des-
ignate as gall"
During his travels among the Alps, Herr
Oh. Dufour repeatedly heard from the set
tiers there that avalanches would seldom
fall when the heavens were cloudy, but that
they would plunge in great numbers, and
nsvac;allu sn $ha srnnyn;y,S uhay1 ftsn rbv