The comet. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1877-1882, 1879-06-14
A Prize Essay on woman



And she has been after him ever since
She is n person of free extraction, pelnB
made of mans RIB. e.I
Idon't know why Adam wanted 10 lVoi
away his ribs in that way, but suppose liz
WAS not accountable for what nc uiu'
II cost more TO keep woman thail tnreo
dogs and shot gun. ..o.t H.,
Rnt she paws YOU back with lnterest-py
Giving YOU house full Of children 10 Keep
YOU awake at night, and smear moiaSSoS
candy over your Sunday coat
Besides, a wife is a very handy article 10
have around house.
She is handy to swear at whenever yoI
cut Yourself with a razor, and don't feel
like blaming yourself. M
Woman is the superior being in Massa-
chusetts. g
There are about sixty thousand more OF
her sex than males in that State
This accounts for the terrified hunted DOWN
expression of the single men who emi9ra'e
from the East.
Woman was not created perfect.
She had faults-such as false hair, false
complexion and so on.
But she is a great deal pettef tli''h nei
neighbor, and she knows It,
IIV0 WINS u NOhhh
She must have been model wife, for 1t
cost Adam nothing to keep her in clothes
Still don't think she was happy
| She couldn't 90 to sewing circles ana ar
her information about everybody she knew
nor excite the envy of other ladies by wear
ing her new winter bonnet to church. =
Neither could she hang over the back
fence and gossip with her near noighlor'
All these blessed priviles weredlenled her
| Poor Eve she is dead now
| And the fashion she inaugurated is dead
now
IF il hadn't been for the COMPOUNDED
''snaikn perhaps the ladies for the present
dav would dress as economically as Eve did.
But the only place where her primitive
style is emulated is in certain portions OF
| Africa, where the woman consider them
selves in full dress when they have on but a
postage stamp stuck in the center OF their
forehead
What a beautiful example in simplicity
of dress is shown some of the followers OF
fashion by that domestic animal, the cat,
which rises in the morning, washes It's face
with its right hand, gives its tail three ire
mendous jerks, and is already dressed Tor
the day,
Woman is endowed with tremendous
fund Of knowledge, and tonge to suit.
| She has the capacity of learning every
thing she was divinely intended to know,
and few extra items besides.
Young ladies take a good deal of stock
| in classics and learn fast.
When you see a young student from
Vassar, with an absorbed look in her eye,
and her lips moving, you understand at
once that she is memorizing a passage from
| Virgil. -,
But. perhaps, closer inspection will res
veal the fact that she is only chewing gum
| A woman may not be able to sharpen
lead pencil, or hold an umbrella, but she
can pack more articles into trunk than
man can into one-horse wagon.
The happiest period of woman's life is
when she is making her wedding garments
The saddest is when her husband comes
home late at night, and yells to her from
| the front door steps to throw out handfui
of keyholes of different sizes
| There is some curiosity in feminine ma
ture,
For instance, l once knew a young lady
who could easily pass another one On the
street without looking around to see what
| she had on.
| Poor thing! she was blind.
| One of the worst habits woman can
get into is a riding habit.
But it is not worse than the modern
walking dress, which ladies persist IN wear
ing on the streets.
When woman approaches the crossing
she pauses for one feeting instant, gives a
sudden kick that would fire the envy of a
Mexican mustang, and catches her train on
the fly.
The average age of woman is twenty-five
She never lives to be very old.
Some of them look to be well advanced
in years, but you should not judge by ap-
pearances.
If you will take the trouble to ask wo-
man how old she is, you will get at the real
facts of the matter And discover that
she is quite young. She seldom passes her
Goth birthday.
About that time she begins to tear out
certain leaves in the family bible.
Scientific men are trying to explain why
women can't throw stones with the force
and precision of the sterner sex. q,
This is glaring nonsense.
Women may not be able to throw stones
with force and precision, but they can hit
the mark every time with gridiron or a
stick of stove wood.
Experience has taught me that.
| Women, as general thing, are hard to
manage l know but one way to keep a
woman in check,
And that is for her to dress in Bingham.
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