The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-06-05
FACTS AND FAKCIEs.

A WIFE in the house IL worth two IN
the street
Truth is stranger than fiction, for
there is less of il.
IF an old sheep c'n only jump isnce
they call it a spring lamb.
MISS Coz sTRUcTIoN - WhalebOnes
paint, powder, and 50 iOrth.
The mule kicks in the way he does
because he cannot talk back.
IMAGINATION goes lsng distance with
8 Eve cent cigar.-E Picsyune.
He sued for her hand before marriage,
and her hand sued for him after.
EXTREMES meet with a table supplied
with oxtaiI soup and beef tongue.
II Picsyune.
IT is strange that nobody spells Swine
cinnati correctly or Pitchburg.-LPit
burg Telegraph.
MADAM" said 8 tramp, wouldn't
You give me an old pair of pants, for Im
starvin' to death"
THERE is an old proverb which runs,
'' Tell everybody your business and the
devil will do it for you."
THERE'S no special style of engraving
engagement rings. A spiders web with
8 fly in it is a very pretty oevice.
A PROMISING young man by the name
of Waters says his paternal progenitoE
is famous as being @the father OF
Waters"
Eve wac the first and we reckon the
only woman who did not gather up her
dress in both hands and yell at the sight
of a snake.
FREDDY Ito GeOrge)-"D Doesn't it
seem nice to see the swallows back
again 7'' George" Well, they fly 50 fast
| / can't see their back"
THE Cincinnati Commercial does not
| believe that an apple caused the fall OF
Adam, but thinks that it might haVe
been an orange or banana peel.
The Pennsylvania legislature is 50
corrupt that a rotten egg smashed
against the speakers desk smells like
bank of violets.-[Cincinnati Enquirer.
LOVE is 8 game of pitch and catch.
He throws his affections and she gen.
aIv catches them on the first bounce.
In the end, both fetch up at the "honle
base"
CoN6REss should pass law suspend
ing the third commandment during
house-cleaning and stove~moving time.
Even the clergymen would lsvor such q
measure.
THERE are q good many people who
think that in place OF the word "aP-
plAuse" scattered through C1l IngersolPs
lectures, there should appear the words
"cheers from the pit"
LITTLE six-year-old was Obliged to take
dose of mediSine that left an unpleas-
ant taste in the mouth. When asked
how he liked it, said: " It's good
enough, all but the end of it."
1T Just happens this way, the New
Orleans Picayune says, that tie biggest
strawberries are at the top of the box"
There is not room for them below,
when the bottoms of the boxes are so
near the top.
IT san editor with modesty the most
intense in the land who writes the fOl-
lowing: "Tiring of their Lydia ThOmp-
son appearance, the maple trees are
going down in their trunks for theiE .
spring and summer suits"
WHAT are you looking for p asked
one Of the widow Bedott's two daugh-
ters. who we're entertaining their young
fellows on the piazza rather late one
night last summer, OF their mother, who
seemed to be looking for something
around the front ward. The morning
papers," answered the widow. 1heyouhs
men left.
1t is reported that the largest diamond
in the world has recently been discovered
st Payteall, India. Its weight is SAID
to be four hundred karats larger than
the Raiah OF Mattau's celebrated dia~
nond and neSrly three hundred karats
larger than the Regent stone, for
which the Due d'Orleans paid $3.50 OOO.
ABSOLUTELY THE LAST ADMITTED
{" How is your Wife's heaIth, SAID one
Toledoan to another, is Soe "etF
8. Well ? Hardly ever" was the response
The questioner gszsd sternly ~ the
questioned, but finding that he M can't
it, put up his revolver.-L Toledo CoSF
meIcial.
TENDER-HEARTED Susie picked up
CRYING kitten on the sidewalk, and nest
ling it in her bosom took into the house
to nurture it. Now" said her mother,
'Fwhat did you bring that sore-eyed cat
in torF' With q look of profound
avmnatbv she replied "She amt Bores
eyed her eyes are full Of grief, poor
thing"
"WHY. paps," said a Market street
girl to her father, IS he ssuntered into
the parlor, away long IN the night Wnen
she and her Adoiphus we're eonVerSihg
upon the ethics of the dust and klndred
LODlCS. w ny, pdpdi W1hb NAN'
inc for ?" sfOh, nothin', l iusS thought
I'd get up to see the sun rise" Ih'en the
clock struck and the son rose and van
ished ana the old man went back TO bSO
There was lively scene in the cathe-
draI of the French manufacturing town
of TuIle, the other day. a priest, in the
course of his sermon. spoke severely
against public schools not urder ths
control OF the church. A group OF men
arose in the midst of the congregation
aud began to sing the Msrseillalse and
to CRY isVive Ia Commune l' and "DoWn
with the priesssP' It was some tiioe
before the gendarmes could quiet the
tumult.
WANT any spices or. cloves ?" asked
a peddler of q saloOn-keeper on Blue
Island avenue one day thisJweek. = Vat
for want 'um 2" asked the proprietor
'' To take away the smell of beer from
the breath, of course" exclaimed the
peddler. "Take away dot smell of
beer " exclaimed the man behind the
counter; my Gott you got some
things vat makes der smell stay on, L
buys him L" Exit peddlsr.
MRS. PoNsoEBY DE ToMKYNs writes:
" NV dear Mrs. Talbot Browne, we are
20 dreadfully distressed but a horFid
previous engagement prevents us from
accepting your quite too delightful in-
yitation to dinner on the" Viva
voee.) Ponsonby." Yes, nv love.
q What day was it Talbot Brownies
people asked for us?" The fifteenth,
nv love-" "This menth. or next ?"
:" Next month, my love-" (Wntesl