Connecticut western news., 1879-04-02
WIT AND WISDOM.

up for its writes
 Don't ask your grocer if he warmed over the maple sugar.
 -Gallows executions may be called suspensions of public judgment. -"Are you this way every day, sir?" asked Police Justice of man.
 Gray hairs seem like the light of soft morn, silvering over the evening of life.
 All that tread the globe are but handful to the tribes that slumber in its bosom.
 A man who is Gin the hands of his friends" has good chance of starving to death.
 The Danielsonville Sentinel says anybody can raise debt, the trouble IS in lowering it.
 Virtue maketh men on the earth famous, in their graves glorious and in heaven immortal. | Talents are best matured in solitude; character is best formed in the stormy pillows of the world.
 Time, with all its celerity, moves slowly on to him whose whole enjoyment is to watch its flight.
 When a man speaks the truth you may count pretty surely that he possesses most other virtues.
 A great many young men who cry Westward ho p are not so anxious to do any hoeing after they get there.
 "E7ery day" repeated George, in- dignantly, "every day Why yoa old dutfer, do you take me for miljionaire?"
 There is no advantage to be gained in murmuring or complaining at our lot in life and grieving over our hard ex- perience.
 No matter how purely and grandly we live to-day, there is no denying that we may live more purely, moro grandiy tomorrow.
 A young lady reioices that she did not have to buy any furs this winter, because the gentleman who waited on her was both a huff and boa 1r"11i
 Never despise small gift. The man who bestows but one kind word should be treated as tenderly as the individual who gives you the smallpox.
 When lady by accident discovers that her photographer has put her picture in his showcase, she goes home and makes terrible time over 1t, but doesn't order it to be taken out.
 
 A certain Washington citizen called on @ friend and asked him for the loan of dollar. "My wife has left me, he said, "and wish to advertise that I am not responsible for her debts" ;"
 One reason why a Chicago man couldn't be convicted of highway rob- bery was because he proved that he was in the Michigan State Prison at the time. Nothing like knowing where you are.
 A Berlin illustrated paper represents Prince Bismarck on steed called the Tariff, or Zoll Reform, which is bolting with it's rider. On being asked where he is going to; he angrily replies, "How do know? Ask the horse." -e
 -" What do you know of the character of this man ?" was asked of witness at police court the other day. "What do know of hls characterp I know it to be unbleachable, your Honor" he replied, with much emphasis.
 A bright little miss in Napa, Cal, noted for her quaint sayings, said to her mother the other day !: "Mamma, when you went to heaven to get me, did you pick out the prettiest baby on Gods floor ?" Of course mamma said yes. Sa
 -" The foolish man," truthfully re- marketh an exchange, "foldeth his hands and saith: 'There is no trade; why should advertise ? But the wise man is not so. He whoopeth it up in the newspapers, and verify he draweth customers from afar off. "
 Magistrate a man can be cruel enough to maltreat his lawful welded wife and even to hurl her plate at the head? Prisoner-But, Your Honor, do you know my wife Worthy Magistrate--I have not that honor. Prisoner-Ihen just you go slow.
 A keen man of business sends his son-a chip of the old block-on trip round Europe, charging him to note his impressions of the different cities he ; visits. From Madrid the young man writes: "The river, the Manzanares, Is always dry. No money in the milk biz"
 -" Now, children" said Sunday school superintendent, who had been talking to his scholars about good people and bad people, "when I'm walking in the street I speak to some persons l meet, and I don't speak to others, and what's the reason?" He expected the reply would be, "Because some are good and others are bad ," but to his discontinue, the general shout was, "Because some are rich and others are poOr" r....