The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-02-13
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
FIRM FRIENDS - Partners. Cincin-
nati Sun.
The will to do good should never be
contested.
The ROSTERS spur is more penetrat-
ing than the cats purr.
If "home is where the heart is"
what a vagrant is the coquette!
THE mule will kick anything. An In
diana mule has just kicked the bucket.
SITTING BULLS recipe for removing
dandrutf from scalps begins: First get
your scalps!
THoUGHrs that buirnn-Amateur poet
ny when the editors waste-basket is
overlooking.
NEVER 60 in debt. Such a man
never went into neutrality-suspicious.
State Register.
A GIRL in st. Louis got a valuable
corner lot in her stocking last Christ
mas.-Chicago Times.
BUCKwHEAT PANCAKES enable pris-
oners to break out. The attack is kind
o. rash, however. Graphic.
A BANKRUPT, condoled for his en-
barrassment, said: "Oh, am not en-
barrassed at all; it's my creditors that
are embarrassed.
"WHY should we celebrate Washing
toms birthday more than mine?'' asked
teacher. "Because he never told q
lie!' shouted little boy.
MEM: BY AN OLD MA1D.-What?
l. Honsnse propose! That's nonsense,
goodness knows. The mischief is that
man does notpropose.-Punch.
WHEN man knows q little some
thing and can make a jury that knows
nothing understand it, he is spoken of
as an expert.-N. o. Picayx,ae.
CAN why is an Irishman loike
ship" asked Mike. "Bedad, it's be-
wake." was Pats ready reply.
We saw young man with two heads
on his shoulders the other day, but
didn't consider it much of a curiosity
-one belonged to his girl. College
Argus
A MERCHANT in Dallas, Tex, has his
residence built on the corporation line,
and his bed in the middle of the house,
so that he sleeps in the city and his
wife in the country.
"How OLD are you, sissy" said a
car-conductor, recently, to little girl
who was trying to ride for half fare.
"Nine at home, sir, but on the cars
only SIX" was the ready reply.
AMONG other inducements held out
to make q lunch counter popular, q
village paper announces that the pro-
prietor evil lend his presence to
grace the festive board.''
BREArH1rr COUNTY, Ky, is described
in the Louisville COurier-JOurn as
"a land where revolver and rifle
Are used for the purpose of settling disputes;
Where life is regarded as only trifle;
And It's usual for people to die in their boots
A MIsER's character described in two
lines: you who are acquainted with
Mr.. x, can you tell me the reason why,
being so rich, he always takes a third
class passage to 60 to his villa?' "Oh,
it is very simple. 1t is because there
is no fourth class '-London Paper.
The baby-carriage is condemned by
Berlin physicians in cases where the
little one sits facing the nurse and is
pushed backward. The natural desire
Of the eye is to draw nearer to what it
sees, and the practice of reversing this
normal order of things and causing
surrounding objects to recede is liable
to affect injuriously the development of
both sight and brain.
A DUTCHMAN once met an Irishman
on the lonely highway. As they met
each smiled, thinking he knew the
other. Pat, on seeing his mistake, re-
marked, with look of disappointment:
Faith, an I thought it was you, an
you thought it was me, and its naythur
of u.s." ''Yaw, dat is dru. l am anuder
man, and you is not yourself, and we
are some other podies."
A RUTLAND lawyer, in referring to
some prisoners, addressed the jury as
follows: 81 tell you their knees shook
as shook the knees of Beltihcezer, when
Paul said unto him: Thou art the
man." And a Biddefort advocate,
blushing at the conduct of his oppo-
nent's client, shouted in open court,
Tell it not in Gath, publish it not in
the streets of Jerusalem!'-M. Y. Even-
ing Post
A LEARNED clergyman in the State
of Maine was accosted in the follow
ing manner by an illiteratc preacher,
who despised education: "Sir, you
have been to college, I suppose?"
Eyes, sir" was the reply. 81 am
thankful" rejoined the former, "that
the Lord has opened my mouth to
preach without any learning" "a
similar event." replied the clergyman,
"took place in Balaam's time, but such
things are of rare occurrence in the
present day."-Observer.
A GOOD-NATURED looking young
man of twenty-five, accompanied by a
modest-appearing young woman of
about the same age, evidently his wife
and just made SO, called upon Girls
woll-street insurance agent to see
about insuring her life. After some
preliminary conversation, the agent
inquired what sum they had in mind.
II want her insured for at least mill
ion dollars!' promptly replied the
husband, as he reached over and pat
ted her on the head. The agent fig
ured up the premium and stated the
amount. The wife turned pale as
death, and the husband lost pound OF
flesh minute. "But take a smaller
SUM, say five or ten thousand dollars ~
suggested the agent. "Not q cent
less'n a millionr' exclaimed the hus-
band. eff she amt worth that she amt
worth nothing, and as I can't chalk up
for million we'll CO." And 60 they
did, stopping neither for argument MOI
| good wishes.-Detroit Free Press.
Remarkable Rides.
Two EXPLOITS of a peculiar charac-