Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-07-17
sips of 81 nm.

always specs so.
Marriage is no uneyen game.
It's a tie.
Texans are never lynched
now-a-days. They die Of "artifi-
cial diphtheria."
When the collection box
threatens, an audience would
sooner disperse than dispurse.
A couple of big head lines in
the New Orleans Times read
startling Innovation; A Mail
Train Comes in, OH Time" !"
An editor, in speaking of a
new book, says "it is bound to
SELL" Isn't that what they bind
all books for generally?
When you are losing money,
the most economical thing you
can do is to take in a partner.
This is the way careful business
men do.
We know of a merchant who
calculates to take vacation of
six weeks this summer. He can
go as well as not, as he doesn't
advertise.
A beautiful custom prevails
in many parts of Europe of plant
ing a tree upon the birth of every
child. 1t saves wear and tear of
slippers.
There is an old lady, one hun
dred and seven years old, in
Boston, who never uses specta-
cles, and whose sight is as good
as it ever was. She was born
blind. go
Careful housewife Citing a
shoe from the soup-tureen)-aLal
who'd a thought baby's shoe
would turn up in the soup? But
| knew it wasn't lost. / never
lose anything!'
A man with a pair of creaky
boots always has music in his
sole, and he generally executes
a solo. just at the very moment
when the rest of the congrega-
ton have settled down to quiet
nap.
''Ma, lend me a pencil, I want
to draw some ladies'" ''Draw
some ladiesl Why, Johnny, this
is Sunday" swell, I'll draw
them in their Sunday clothes"
Proposition declined with
spanks.
"What," says an inquisitive
young lady, sis the most popular
color for a bride?" and tue FL
mira Gazette answers:-''We
may be a little particular in such
matters, but we should prefer a
white one"
Some men are endowed with
The clingipg nature Of cobwebs,
and like them are continually
hanging around the house until
out by the end of a we'll
balanced broom, with an indus
.rious female at the other end.
A woman applied for a situa-
ion recently at Belfast, with her
clothes dripping like a water
spout. On being questioned as
% her condition, she said she un-
lerstood the lady of the house
wanted a wet nurse, and she had
come ready for service.
When a young tobacco chew
II, who boasted that his father
lsed the weed up to the day of
lis death, was asked if he didn't
hink it shortened his days re-
olied: "Not at all. Each one of
lis days was twenty-four hours
ong, just the same as if he
hadn't used tobacco"
If you have no money to
1--WE the needy wretch who begs
rour aims, You at least have
ympathy-you can give him u
lind word and q gentle smile.
f he asks you for ten cents to
,uy bread, smile kinIly on him
nd tell him you haven't a cent,
'ut you can direct him to a good,
espectabIe hotel where he can
,et good plain board and
'leasant room for $11 a week.
It is not considered proper to
peak of piano playing. 1t is
iano recital you mean. That
emlnds US that there was a hand
rgan recital in front Of this Of
ce recently. The artist was
rom Italy, and so was his wife,
rho gave reeitals ON q second
and tambourine. 1t is to be
oped they may come again, and
re can assure them plenty Of
pom to play in.
Young man, devoted to and
manufactured for soci-
ty, clasping his head in agony.
All, by Jove, how my head
ches! Awfully, by Joyel' Sym
friend, student in Viii
on's dental room: ooh, you'd
etter have it pulled;" then, af-