The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1879-05-07
How q Woman Reads q Letter.

Did you ever hand woman letter
lust as she was about to sit down to dlnnerl
If YOU are married man, and very careful,
you have probably done so about once a
year. If you are not very careful, you nave
possibly forgotten yourself and commlttea
that foolish act several times year. 1t ls
awfully wearing on a man to bring home
letter to his wife at meal time more than
once year. Sometimes it is wearing on a
woman, especially if the husband is quick
tempered and impulsive.
At noon Mr.. Pettibone starts for home
and dinner. On his way he stops at the
postoffice, and, perchance, gets letter d.
rected to his wife. He has been through
the mill, he has, and, with a chuckle, very
carefully places the letter in his inside
pocket, and mentally decides that Mary
Jane will not get that letter until alter
dinner, not if he knows it. Smiling at the
strategem of his little game, he proceeds
ioyfully homeward, his appetite waxing
sharper each moment. AS he enters the
house the savory smell of the viands salutes
him. Little Johnny also salutes him, with
a kiss, and leaves his imprint. Going into
his pocket for his handkerchief Mr. Petit
bone pulls out the unlucky letter without
thinking. He makes quick movement to
return it to his pocket. But his perceptive
wife is too quick for him and successfully
reaches for the missive. She studies the
superscription, and declares it is from her
cousin Anna. Then she looks closer and
says: .,
"No, it isn't either, it's from Mrs. Smith
You remember Mrs. Smith, John, who used
to attend our church when she resided here.
Such a nice woman. She said she would
write to me as soon as they got settled in
their new home in-in-where is it, now,
they have located~
John remembers the Smith family with
painful distinctness. They traded at the
store when they were in town and went away
forgetting to liquidate good-sized bill for
goods. He does not know where they are
now, but knows where he wishes they were.
His wife refers to the postmark to aseer-
tain the name of the town where the Smiths
live. The mark is not plain, and she haste
study some time. John becomes impatient
for dinner, and his wife tells him it is all
ready, and bids him 60 and sit down, and
she will be right along. He obeys and she
opens the letter "just to see how long it is.'
She glances at the signature and finds that
it is from her Aunt Patience, instead OF
Mrs. Smith. 1t consists of six pages, and
Aunt Patience writes such lovely letters that
she cannot resist the temptation of begin
ming to read it.
By this time John calls from the dining
room, requesting her to come and pour the
tea and help Johnny to dinner. She goes
to her place at the table mechanically, still
reading.
"Jane, will you lay aside that letter a
moment, and pour the tea?"
HIn a moment, my dear. Aunt Patience
says she is 40 delightfully."- situated this sea-
on. If she had little more room she
would invite US all down to stay month.
Isn't she kind p"
By this time John gets quite riled,' o
to speak, and he exclaims rather sharply:s
"Mary Jane Pettibone, will you drop that
letter ;g long enough to pour cup OF tea Tor
meW ...
Mrs. Pettibone flares up instantly. Throw
ing the letter down, she turns out the tea
and shoves it across the table, saying
"Jchn Henry Pettibone, you are the most
unreasonable man I ever saw. You act as
though you were in danger Of dying in a
moment for want of tea. Half Of the time
you drink water at dinner, and if it were
not for interrupting me, you would not
think of drinking tea this noon. You know
cannot eat a meal with an unread letter
in the house. You're bear, that's what
you are! I'll 90 home to ma to-day, so
now Boo-hoo-hoo!' ...'a
By this time Pettibone has finished hi
dinner, after fashion, and, hastily arising
from the table, he tells his wife to go home
or 20 to bed, or anywhere it suits her to 60
Jamming his hat down over his eyes, hi
leaves the house. -.
The next time he gets letter for his wit'
on his way to dinner, he returns to the store
sends the boy up with the letter and not
to his wife saying business is so rushing h'
will dine at restaurant to-day. He say
that is a neat and quiet way OF avoiding
"scene." About once a year, however, h'
tries the inside pocket dodge, but it nevel
succeeds-never.- Sentinel.