St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-01-03
Squibs.


/ Who ever heard Goldfish bavl2
"know all men 10y these presemts."-
Santa Claus.
Daniel Dlew-but he don't seem to
draw now.
man's character is like femce-you
cannot strengthen it 10y whitewush.
1t is perfectly safe to have some men
owe you ii grudge, tor they never pay
anything.
Let Il man sit Tor two years on Il bar
rel ut IL political corner grocery, and he
Is apt to think himself good enough to
he appointed judge.--NeU Orleans Pi-
cdyHne.
why does woman always sit on
the floor to pull on her stockings ?" is
the conundrum pIopOunded by the Bay
/ City Tribune. What We want 10 know
first Is, does she ?-EE.
Lady (severely) IL presume you un-
derstand about using Kerosene to kindle
the fire with ?" Applicant Confidently
-"lndade do, ma'am. Show me where
ye kape Yer lie can, an it's nIver cost We
Il cnt for kindin'!'
A German, telling the story of his
campaigns, gives the following interest
ing item: ''In this battle we lost the
brave Capt. Schultz. cannon ball
took off his head. His last words were,
Bury me on the spot where | fell"
Customer :-"My little boy wishes a
Noahs ark. Have you one ?" Toyman
NO, mum, no. We've given up keep
ing Noah's harks since the school boards
come in. They were considered too de-
nomlnatIOnal, mum."-PuRch.
A New York exchange tells ''How
Men Suddenly Disapper FIom Our
Streets" We haven't read the article,
but we suspOse they suddenly dart up
an alley in order to enter the saloon
from the rear. We have seen scores of
men suddenly disappear from the streets
i'll the same manner.-NOrriSt0Un Her.
aid.
''HOw was the world made ?" is being
discussed in Il scientific magazine. We
weren't there, but we suppose they got
all the subscriptions they could raise
along the survey, and then bonded the
rest of the work and pushed it through.
That popular cry, "Another lie nail
ed" was originated 10y Jael, who nailed
Sisera while he was lying before he'll
DdnbUy NelCS. Why did Sisera go to
Jael ?-Herald. Probably because he
was deserted 10y his Baai or it may have
been that like the people of the south,
he preferred Jail to Barak rule.
Are you the sales woman of whom
L bought this handkerchief yesterday ~
asked purchaser at one of our dry
goods stores. 81 am the sales LadU who
served you, madam" responded the re-
duced Empress i'll banged hair, long
watch chain and ringed fingers, who
presided at the counter. "Well,n said
the customer, 81 will take dozen more,
and as wish to get them to my wash
er-lady at once, | will get you to send
them to my carriage around the corner.
My coach-gentleman cannot Get TO tbe
door just now, for the cart of the ash
gentleman."-BOStOn Commercial -BuI-
ietin.
Some years since there arrived at the
Revere house in this city Il newly-wed-
ded pair from Bangor. They took the
best suite in the house, had private
table and spared no expense. On the
morning OF the third day the groom or
dered the trunks taken down and malk-
ell "Fitth Avenue hotel, New York" at
the same time asking the row boy to
bring up his bill. He got it soon after.
and started for the office. 'Is this bill
right 7" he asked. ''Yes, sir, all right
answered the cashier, glancing over the
items and running up the figures s'yes,
sir, $9l. .25, that's exactly right" "Very
WE'LL" said the groom, eff that's Your
figure, here's the money. Pve no fault
to lind, but you'd better mark those
trunks for Bangor"
A railroad company suspecting dead
heads, put detective on the track. One
day he heard a passenger remark that
u was very easy to go from B. to
D without ticket He watched
the speaker, and was surprised to see
him hand the conductor ticket. Get
ing into conversation with the passen-
ger, he said: 'I'd like to know your
plan for travelling without ticket, and
lon't mind giving you couple of dol
ars for it." "Done," said the man.
the bill. "When want to.
,ravel without ticket walk"