The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1879-03-15
HUMORS OF THE CAPITAL.

HUMORS OF THE CAPITAL.
The Ways and Wits Of Washington.
a GENTLEMAN FROM NORTH CAROLINA,
sIR'-How \ DOOR KEEPER WAS BE-
wILDERED MS oRpERs-pIS.
NEE GIVING UNDER nIFFICULTIEs-TuE
MOON BEFORE THE WAR AND NOW
SENATOR M'CREERy RETURNS CALL
There are an unusually large number OF
amusing stories current in Washington Just
now. During the busy closing days of the
session, for Instance, while " Gene" Dur
min, an Assistant Door keeper of the
House, and one of the greatest wags in the
capital, WAS standing at his post, a long
haired, gaunt, and angular son of the sun
NJ South approached and attempted to pass
into the chamber.
9 How'd on, cried Gene" in his best
Kerry brogus, "Yez can't 90 in there"
Who is you, Sab ." angrily demanded
the Southernsr.
I'm the fellow tina: howlds the fort, :"
replied - Gene" good naturcdly, land
tell yez again that yez can't get in, for
there's no admittance to any but members
and members elect
But I'm from North Carolina, Sab, :"
continued the visitor. I'm constituent
Of de 'ou'able Mister Waddell, born and
raised, Sab, two miles from his place, an
| amt agwine to leave Washington City
without aseein' of him.
"Oh, that's Different" answered Gene.
II You want 10 See Mr.. Waddell, Just
give us your card and III take i, ia to
him
k.rd, sab! kard,'' cried the '.konstitu
ent, now evidently much mystified what
kard ~
Why, yer visitin' card, to be sure"
replied - Gene
Never heard of no such thing, Sab, :"
cried The visitor.
Gene locked at him for ! moment in
silent amazement, and then, carefully con-
sldering all his words, asked: " Well, now,
not meann' no offense at all, will ytz just
tell me what yez do when yez so to see a
nian in North Carolina -
Duh, sab? What do duh Why,
rice up TO de mans fence ard yell out
say, mister, is yer dog tied :'''
II.
At the expense of Capt. Lloyd, of the
Eighteenth United States Infantry 1t was
during the memorable Ellen,oa disturb
ancc in South Carolina that the gentleman
in question was ordered by Gen. Ruesr TO
proceed TO the scene of the difficulty, and
as far as was possible to protect the un
fortunate negroes who were threatened
with massacre, and to prevent further blood
shed. The Captain, who has been all hi,
life soldier, and who always obeys hi,
instructions 10 the letter, at once placed
himself at the head of his command, and
was soon en- route for Ellenton. lie arrived
at the now famous massacre bridge 3"
Just before nightfall. As he approached it
with the United States flag flying, drum.
beating, and the deep red of the Southern
sunset gliding the polished bayone,s of his
men, The negroes who had been huddtd
together IN the swamp, half furnished ard
almost hopeless, hiding from the White
League r:il: clubs, come crowding about
him.
IVES saved they cried. =. De Union
Army am da; Massa Grants gemmen nab
come. De good hebbsd hab sent you-de
angels hab sent you-de good Lord Himself
hab sent you" To all Of which the be
wiidered, but welldrilled, Lloyd only re.
piled, No gentlemen, it's a mistake; I
90; my orders from Zen Ruger.''
Ill.
The representative of Nsw York news.
paper, who has become somewhat noted for
the plain truths which he tells relative to
the cotton States, WAS seated at dinner
with 4 number of ex rebels when, the con
versatioa turned upon Southern outrages,
one of the "last ditchers" suddenly ex
claimed: a. But wo now hear no moro of
these so called massacres, gentlemen, For
three months, at larst, there has not been
one report of niger killed in all til,
SOUTH
To which the young newspaper man re
piled. - Yes, that's true, the Democrats of
the South certainly dessrve all praise
They scrupulously observe the Game laws
and never kill nigssrs except in season
just before the elections
In connection with stories of lights, riots
aud killings, may mentio :ha; the excite
rnent in regard TO the beating which Billy
McGarrahan, tho great American claimeut,
gave Mr.. Dom Piatt, gentleman who for
years pas, has been vilifying him without
stunt, and As far as the general pablIc
knows, without any just cause has not yet
altogether died out. Nobody blames McGar-
rahan. In fact, the general feeling in
Wash lugton regarding the matter was a
day or two since, well summed up by
witty New York member OF Congress, who
said: " Ever since the affair there have
been 800, bottle of wine, and chrome
At the Capitol waiting for the man who
sympathizes with Dom Piatt. but up to
this time nobody has appeared TO claim TIE
prizes
V.
Some days before the adjournment of
Congress, AS the story goes, good. natured
and ponderous Senator McCreery, Of Ken
lucky, was waddling down Pennsylvania
avenue, when 4 dapper young gentleman,
one of that class which delights " society
girls by e1claiming at intervals during a
fashionable reception: Have you been
very gay this season. approached him
with the question: i" All, Senator, how de
do called on you this morning. Did you
&c; my card -
=" ies, said the Senator dryly, AZ got
til, card; but what did you mean by writ,
ing f. p in the cor Ter of il -