Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-01-10
SundrieS.
A noisy fellow annoys i fellow.

In fifteen cent dish one oyster
counts the same rs Stew OttalNl Re-
IpNbGoa
Nothing but leaves" said Eve pleas
antly when Adam praised the taste
shown IN her polouaise.
after the TURTLE" is the name Of Il
new book published in London. lfit is
the least bit lively il ought to be able to
catch up,-Nela OKtuRS Pieayant.
\ man in this town frozo the bot
toms ofhis feet lately, and rs he held
them 70 the stove he remarked; Two
soles with but single thaw out
Whitehead Times.
The idea IF being captured hy Mcx,-
can bandits strikes the Chicago female
mind as perfectly Scrumptious, ~ Ncw
York C0nnR,lcial advertiser.
Mother noticing her sons grocdi-
ness George, you should always
leave the table feeling that you could
eat little more. Georse-"I do,
mother, 3-RocteSter Express.
Mr.. Heep said t. drunken fellow,
"lf | were in your place would 80 out
to the woods and hang myself The
answer was: III yooz in my plaish You
couldn't set there"
my dear said wife to her hus.
band, Il really think il is tlmc We had u
greenhouse" "Well. my love, paint
il any color you please; red, white, or
green will suit me, responded the hus.
band.
The amount of popcorn that resolved
itself into component parts Of the par
Tor carpet, within the past two days,
may be estimated nj seven thousand
tons, round numbers.-Nelp Haven Regis
Ter.
"Women are normally jolly" says "
writer. Maybe SO; but when the church
is III trouble, and they put on lugubri-
Gus looks, and SO about soliciting con-
tributions for fair, you'll find the fair
sex pensive. OH0ua (kdN.l Rep.
Instructor" What does Cardillac say
about brutes in the scale of being
Student He says brute il an imper-
feet animal Instructor" And what
is man. Student-"Man is " perfect
brute. 49, Hazard CfimSon.
A rumor comes from Paris that bon
nets are TO be worn on the head here
after. 1t strikes lis the head would be
good place on which to Wear II bon
net, but such departure will look u lit
Ito odd at first, -NouiStotca Herald
The following was recently sent to "
schoomistress in Birmingham, England:
Miss a., can you allow our Henrietta
Georgiana to como home and nurse
Cluadious Alfred while our Louise An
ne Victoria goes 70 dancing SCHOOL,
II you've ANYTHING 10 say.
Say lily
/ IL you've anything 10 pay,
i Pay 1t.
But with nnught 10 pny OF say,
Don't fret yourself about il pray.
Boston Post
A lady who is no longer III the first
blush OF youth is summoned MS u wit.
ness in some suit. The judge: "lIow
old are you, madame?' She (hesitat
ingly): "Thirty-nine." The judge (n
the most benevolent tone, after having
contemplated her nm instant: "Thirty
nine? Come, madame, have courage
Go on nnd finish ,tln
you young scamp" cried IN elderly
il the act Of picking his pocket, "aren
you ashamed of yodrself? You Sc
Young, and thicfalready!p ooh, gam
mon, returned the urchin, 81 like that
Amt you ashamed of yourself-you sc
old, and amt got silk handkerchio
yet?'
When the ameer Of Afghanstan visit
ed Peshawhur in 1869 and was showl
through the English church there, anc
told that the British officers had seat
there according to their rank, he OK
claimed in surprise, 81 am the ruler o
my country, but when | worship in tn,
mosque, | lake my place beside IN,
poorest subject, for III the house Of Coo
all are equal.
Virgins says: "Thcy have gooC
deal TO say about this s.'new game o
lacrosse. New gauc2 Fudgel It's old'
the hills. | used to play il when ! va
little chap no bigger than pint Q
cider" He refers to the time when Ia
used to lacrosse the knee Of his nearcs
maternal relative and get beaten.
Some one has suggested that II ID,
inventor Of the phonograph would brinl
out little machine TO be attached
to the door which would say
when the landlord called for tho
rent, Come again next month"; j
would have good sale. So it would
and If he wanted Il name for il he might
call it the post-phonograph.
"While his beauty" said 4 Knoxville
Judge, when he had occasion TO refer
to one ofthe counsel practicing before
him, "has been somewhat enhanced
recently by his falling, face foremost
from second story window 10 cobble
stone pavement beneath, il is neyerthe.
less the opinion Of the court that he re-.
mains the ablest lawyer and the ugliesi
man in the state.
Last summer when the hot wave from
the ives. struck us so violently, we felt
as if we'd like TO so out and shovel ten
feet Of snow of neighbours sidewalk
and not charge him cent. We don'l
feel that way now --Noristou7, Herald.
"Oh dear, / meant to mend your
gloves" sald Mrs. Jones, ny Jones drew
on glove without any ends to the fin
an "A ,tDlI t,anrntnn ADD ICnna