The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1879-07-16
CURRENT FUN.


CURRENT FUN.
Could a sleepy man be called nod fellow?
Popular Science Monthly.
England may be mistress of the C's." but
she has never yet been fairly able to master
the H's."-Boston Post
The sea serpent's back is up for the season
at the seashore.-New York World.
The French novel is supplied with all the
indelicacies of the season.-Atlantic Month
ly.
The wisest man we ever knew was Jew
who remarked: 81 tell you vat it ish, young
man, / buys my experience vresh efry
day.
A drunken congressman said to Horace
Greeley one day, Il am a self-made man."
''Then, sir" replied the philosophical Hor-
great responsibility"
A damsel applied for a place behind
counter "What clerical experience have
your asked the man of dry goods. Every
little" she said, with blush; flor only
joined the church last week"
A young man went into a restaurant the
other day, and remsrking that time is
money" he added that, as he had a half
hour to spare, if the proprietor was willing,
he'd take it out in pie.-North American
Review.
The children gathered at his knee, while
ewes and ears we're all intent, the doctor
said, Now tell to me, what's patience on
monument" Then little Willie's eyes
ahone as he explained the doctors
wonder: 1.-THE peoples names are on the
stone, the patients all lie calmly under"
A bashful young man could defer the mo-
mentus question no longer. SO he stammer-
ed:-ssMartha, lido you-you must
have-are you aware that the good book says
err says that it is not g-g-good that
m-man should be alone?' Then, hadn't
you better run home to your mother?" cody
suggested Martha.
SIS there anything more humiliating," asks
the Boston Transcript, 'than go to strange
church with your girl, and to suddenly dis
cover when q collection is announced, that
your pocketbook is at home in them other
pants?'" There Is, my friend, there is"
responds the Oil City Derrick. ut is to be
remembered that your pocketbook isn't in
them other pants because you have on
your only pair"
"What are you worth?'' asked rich old
miser of young man who was counting his
only child mot much now, but I'm COM
ing into large fortune in few years" was
then the old mIser learned that the large for
tune which the young man was coming into
was his father-in-law's.
Conversation between an inquiring
stranger and a steamboat pilot: That is
Black mountain? Yes, sir. Highest noun
tain above Lake George. Any legend or
story connected with that mountain? Lots
of 'em. Two lovers went up that mountain
once, and never came back again. Indeed?
Why, what became of them? Went down
on the other side.
Artemus Wards Jokes were not always
we'll taken. We were coming into the city,
one day from q drive, anu came upon some
men engaged in tying up raft, on the Cuya-
hoga river. 1t was hot day, and they were
perspiring profusely. Artemus stopped his
horse and asked them, very gravely, why
they didn't go and steal for a living, instead
OF toiling and sweating in that way. The
result was he had to lash his horse into q
run, in order to get away from the shower
of powders they hurled at us.-Fat Con-
tributor.
Your husband is sick q good deal of late,
isn't he" remarked Southern Illinois
woman to another.
= YES" answered the wife, "hes got TUX
down mighty hard with them ere ager
shakes agin."
II shud think 1t 'ud be sorter distressin'
like to have him round the house." re-
marked the other, sympathizingly; speedy
when you're at house cleanin'."
oval so it wud be-" replied the wife, in
seIf-consoling tones, "but when he's got inter
one of his chills, and 1 want the rag carpet
shuk, yer see he's powerful smart hand ter
hitch onto it."
Then the other woman wendell her way
home. envying her neighbor the knack she
had of utilizing her husband.
Sol Smith Russell tells story OF stranger
who, on one occasion, demanded a pass for
two to one of his entertainments. After
looking the fellow over and admiring his
cheek, Russell asked him why he was en-
titled to a pass. He replied that he was q
brakeman on the train that brought the ac-
tors to town, and if he didn't get pass the
boys would fix the show" Although still
astonished, Sol agreed to grant pass for two
on condition that Mr.. Brakeman would
never stand on his head" This was al
once agreed to; but, after getting the pass
the brakeman wanted to know why the con
dit1on was imposed. "Why?" said Sol; 81
will tell you. 1 am afraid that if you evel
stand on your head and don't break you
neck, your gall is SO big 1t will drop into
your throat and choke you.'