The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1879-06-20
OUR EUROPEAN LETTER.

Tourists obrodd-Erper,ences at q
London hotel--A Lirely Attendance.
LONDON, June 2, 1879.
An athletic meet in which neither
time nor distance forms the subject of
contest is somewhat of novelty in
these later days. This character strictly
attached to the grea. annual gathering
of bicy clists which met at Hampton
Court on Saturday afternoon. Many of
the riders ran down in the forepart of
the day, with lady companions, to dis
port themselves in those delightful gar
dens which, although now sustaining
the gardeners floral reputation only by |
tulips or iaponicas, would surely
rank second to the one which |
Maud probably came into. Long before
the time for starting the procession,
spectators came trooping in thousands,
over the bridge, along the road, and
through Bushy park, toward the Lion
Gates; riders and tricycles and other
mechanical weight-carriers, mixed up
with wagonettes and carriages, drawn
by that out-of-date animal, the horse.
Representatives of 104 clubs took part
In the demonstration, each body, in
their peculiar uniform, taking station
according to the date of the establish
ment of their club. AT five the buglc
sounded the "wide-awake" call, when
the Pickwick led, in couples, through
the park gates, those who were to follow
being massed in the road toward King
ston bridge. The way through the
park, round the Diana pond, and
through Teddington, returning by Ham
worth TO Hampton Green again, was
lined by throng of critics and admir-
ers. The chief of the executive, Mr.. l..
G.. Yeoman, had under his orders 1881
riders of glittering, noiseless machines,
who filed through the park where the
chestnuts were beautifully in leaf and
just budding for flowers, the fine lines
behind only just splashed with foliage,
not yet sufficient to hide the abundant
mistletoe. Many mishaps occurred
through the crowding on the track of
spectators and other causes, such as the
neutrality-suspicious. that o'crleaps itself
and falls OH t'other side" but nothing
serious married the commencement of
the six miles ride past palaces and
mansions and cottages, whose inmates
gazed with establishment on "young
England" bcstriding the bicycle, and
repeated in modern vernacular the old
query, "Whereunto can We likcn this
generationT
The large number of Americans ar
riving at the hotels here is hailed by n
sort of iD-door-relicf paupcr in the
shape of a porter, who handles their
baggage badly and palms their charity
briskly. AT the very threshold Of the
"home-comforts hoter' enormitics of
petty pauperism commence, and when
| they end 10 man in his wisdom know
eth. If ever perpetual motion" wins
the prize it is the British hotel motor
pauper that will be the lucky dog in his
unbroken system of mendicancy. Moth
ing will stop him mot suggestion as 10
his manhood, his sclf-respcct, if he have
any, or even all the fears portrayed by
the thirsty waiter before David Copper
field. Like the "Wandcring Jew he is
bound to Ego on and ON in the high
ways and byways of a livcried beggar.
Proud and manly British porter. give
him farlhing to appease his self
respect! Yea, kick him like dog, but
pay him his pauper "tip" and he the
while reioiceth. Put him in the pillory
of contempt, but pay him, and happi-
ness is his. When within the vestibule
of British hotel, and particularly the
railway depot monstrosities, there is q
cold, Shiny suspicion creeping over you,
by the frlgid Indifference to your pres
ence, that you have been enormously
indicted into a Moorish tile-tcssellated
and paved prison, instead of 'homc-
comforts British hotel. You charge
yourself with some nihilist or commu-
nistic proclivities, implied or expressed,
and regard the "miss," and certainly
the "missus," as of the spy school. In
the course of human events, when it
becomes necessary for the said smiling
females to declare little of your indie
pendcnce you are allotted to cell and
designated in true prison formality by a
number. The warden conducts you TO
your door, and now commences the
elastic law and charges of attendance. >"
| never saw so much of myth so mon
strously charged for as a British hotel
thing called attendance" Physically
it is nowhere, and reminds you of Pad
dy's flea; positively, it is everywhere in
your bill, and recalls the sleight-of-
hand ability of a certain secretary of the
United States naval department and a
well-known patch on his pantaloons.
1t is never omitted, and when you see
it not, there it is, land where YOU see il
large it grows! A sort of "silcnt sys-
tenn of the penal colony order prevails
in British hotel, and if your genial ma
ture is not overshadowed by q wet
blanket, certainly your equity form may
be surrounded by damp sheets. II
your vacancy, that nature abhors, cries
alond for meat and bread, and the hour
is after 10 p. m, woo unto Your crav-
ings for "wee Bit" The "fat boy" in
l"Pickwick" is unhcard in the ''homc-
fike comforts" of British hotel at that
hour, and no "wittals Is up" Gone arc
"square meals" or even angular sec.
tons of fractions of them. Famish
gentle foreigner, and go TO bed an indie
pendent citizen.
To the novice family coming TO Lon
don with householding intentions,
alphabetically say, with food of bit.
terly experienced tears in my Borrowing
eyes, "Look before You leapw Never
take n real estate agents word for any.
thing about house in London, and
? fight shy of his bond. Look keenly al
landlord and dissect landlady. Get
if you can, an honest surveyor and have
him TO examine the house from roof to
drains, from smoky chimneys to stulfy
cellars. See tho receipts for the taxes
and rates paid before Your occupation
and properly mp to date. Ii they are
not paid by Your predecessor you will
f have. to pay them the day you become {
tenant. Justice winks and law laughs
here on this equitable point. Never al
low your name to get in the Blue Book
+ or Postofllce Directory If you can hell
( it. From that hour You appear in prin
, woe is yours at the hand of Londor
dodgers" and tradesmen in armies o
perpetual assaults at bell and servant
In word, You are put on the defensive
, at once and forever to get your rights
and while floating and floundering in al