The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1879-10-02
FACTS AND FANCIRS.

Many a Nelly q. was written for Mrs.
SartOris.
Where the hedge is lowest the devil
leaps over.
A bit Of orris root pleasantly aavors
the mouth.
A Chicago man wants the thief who
stole his well bucket and rope TO come
back and take the well, as it is OF no use
to him now.
One man asked another why his beard
was so brown aud his hair so white.-
Because he replied, 'one ia twenty
years younger than the other
Hands have they, yet feel notebooks.
Legs have they, yet walk nOt-tables.
Eyes have they, yet see not-needles.
Teeth have they, yet chew not-combs.
The violet in the shadow Of the deep
woods is as lovely aud fragrant and pre-,
oious as the violet in the conservatory
Of an avenue palace. Real value is not
TO be measured byuotoriety.
Humility is a virtue all preach, none
practice, and yet everybody is content
to hear. The master thinks it good doc
triue for the servant, the laity for the
clergy, and the clergy for the Lofty.
At S~pringport, N. Y, Mary Perry,
aged "a, sat at tea with some friends.
They were relating funny incidents, and
Mrs. Perry became ~convulsed with
laughter, and fell back in her chair,
dead.
An honest Hibernian, while going
along the road, was thus addressed by a
friend: Hello, Pat, you've got on the
wrong side Of your stocking Il know
that says Pat; there's a hole on the
other side.'
An aged negro strutted through the
streets of Nashville with his name con.
~spicuously embroidered on the lapels of
his coat. His pride was founded on the
fact that he had had three wives and
thirty-six children.
Beware of the man who gives small
boys the run Of his orchard when ap-
pies are green. His purpose is to lay
out a few of the enemies Of his trees
where they will cease from troubling
when the fruit is ripe.
Did you ever notice the downward
plunge of a young lady's jaw when she
gives utterance to one OF those lands
that serve as convenient resting places
in her speech while awaiting the brains
catching up with the tongue?
A phase of fashionable lifein Newport
is shown by the following advertise.
ment in q local paper: Miss Thomp-
son, from New York, shapes and pol.
ishes ladies' finger nails at their resi-
dencss. Rate per visit ST. etc.
After all, we're glad we're not a king.
Alphonso can't have any fan, holding a
gate down or skirmishing to dodge ice
cream saloons and to keep on good
terms with the old man. All the 70.
nance is knocked out of his counting,
There seems to be q great probability
that a serious collision will soon occur
between Turkey and Greece. -Phiia.
Record. Yes; it is not likely to be de-
ferred longer than the twenty -seventh of
next November. But doyou spell grease
properly? q.
I'm a ruta.baga, and here's where l
plant myself said a tramp, as he enter.
ed a farmhouse near Freeport, Illinois,
and seated himself at the table. we
alters bile ours said the farmers wife,
and soused him with a dishpanful of
boiling water.
in pursuing my theme l should like
to cover more ground, but Buy
shoes big enough for your feet and
you'll do it, was the impudent sugges-
ton from the crowd, and the orator adj
iourned his remarks until a more refined
audience could be present.
A little girl about four years old and O
little boy about six had been cautioned
not to take away the nest.egg, but one
morning when they went for the eggs
the little girl took it and started for the
house. Her disappointed brother fol-
lowed, crying: Mother, mother, Susie'a
got the egg the old hen measures byl'
A Jerseyman who lives in a double
house recently brought suit of eiectment
against the tenant of the other portion
of the residence, on the ground that he
made q common nuisance Of himself by
constantly singing in vociferous tones
MY Grandfather's Clock Hold the
Fort and other songs. The plaintiff
was non.suited,
Last year o man patented q fan which,
fastened TO the back of q rocking chair,
was made to work by the motion Of the
chair. This year somo one has fashion
cd a fan whose motive power is the
sewing machine; aid next year we see
no reason why a combined fan aud fly
brush shall no. be invented to be at.
tached to boarding.hous tables and op.
Grated by the innate strength of the
butter.
An English newspaper tells q story Of
q clergyman who was consoling a lady
for the death of her husband by en-
phStic assurances that those who had
been friends in this world would be re.
united immediately after death. He was
thinking of the happiness of being able