The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-01-02
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A NOISY fellow anuosys . fellow.
All. the ancient maxims say,
To rule the house u woman-eWuy.
A NAN in Florida walked ninSty-one
miles to vote.
SLEIaHr of Manufacturing Z mar
tiage proposal. ssass-ss..ss s,,e.-,,..s.
Rum on the banks-sliding down hill.
-Bradford Breeze.
"rLL lay for YOUR as the hen said
to the farner.-EpchssSs.s n VIZ fTgyg
PUNcfuAL1rY bsgeis 6difdepce; aud
H. the surs path 10 honor Snd r1snecf
6ATnrHD he could not sell or
80 hent It, Pc insured Il hi9heE,
Ind oas night the wicked follow
THE stars on Brigadier's shoulder
straps are nothing but Offering gen-
eralities.
BUT yesterday, and all Canada, was
for Duferin. To-day, and it is all for
Lorne.-Phila. Bulletin.
No RICH man knows when he may
be dragged out of his grave and have a
reward offered for his bones.
"WE1oaf5or the xaGoi,,e s1eerved
the farmer as he helped his 800 pound
wife to q seat in the vehicle.
The New England railroads have de-
cided to discontinue the issuance OF
half-fare tickets to clergymen. L ~,
THERE was, no doubt, considerable
mourning when the sunburst, but where
did the daylighta-N. r. MesSs.
A RESIDENT of North Troy, Vt, has
been held in 81 900 bail for drawing
earicatures of prominent citizens.
IL AN monarch of all l. sir, weigh -
you can truthtully say if you are not q
married man. Goacanda Enterprise.
IT was Wordsworth who sang Of
That best portion Of good mans life,
His little namelese, aforementioned acts of kind
ness and OF love. -.e -,
The difference between q soldier and
woman who paints is that one faces
the powder and the other powders the
face.
IL AN not particular" he remarked
when the tailor refused to trust him
II am not particular, but I can't be
suited here" ~ 81 -
To young man struggling with q
still younger mustache, the "darkcst
hour is just before the down."-Hack-
essack Republican. =
1T must have been after Thanks.
giving dinner that Macbeth exclaimed,
Hens, horrible shadow, Hens!''-
ton Com. BsIuetin.
A HOG can live twenty DAYS without
food. This has no. reference. to the
man who shOveS his big feet across the
aisle of the street-car.-Detroit Fres
Press. sD
PERHAPS the slower, signing like a
furnace. with an ode made to his mis-
tress' eyebrow" would be less enthu-
siastic if he knew it was pencined.
T. Mail. :.
SOME men arc like popcorn. So long
as they keep cool they can can conceal
what's in them, but whenever they get
right hot they turn wrong side out
GLASGOW (Ky.) Times. .....t.
The marriage of San Francisco
widower to his stepdaughter 50 dis
pleased his neighbors that they stuck
tar and feathers on his door as hint
of what they would do if he did not
move away. He moved. .f
The electric light will hurt the match
trade. Because the light is so clear
you can see right through paint and
powder, and discover the true inward
ness of her disposition. Matches will
be scarce, they say.-Rochester Express.
A FOND mother, hearing that an
earthquake was coming, sent her boys
to a friends in the country to escape it.
After few days she received q note
from the friend, saying. "For good
ness sake, take your boys away and
send along that earthquake instead"
WHEN . man dies suddenly. "with.
out the aid of physician" as an
Irishman once said, the Coroner :-;aust
be called in. If the man dies regularly,
after being treated by a doctor, every
body knows why he died and the Coro-
ner's inquest is not necessary.-N o.
Pcayu.se.
Two WOMEN in black, their faces
shrouded in thick wells, visit Carson
(Nev. faro-bank and play till early in
the morning, limiting their bets to one
dollar q card. They never speak and
utterly disregard the surrounding pro-
family and vulgarity which they cannot
choose but hear. .-f.fu
IT was an awful poor rawboned look
ing beast, and no wonder the other
man didn't appear greatly inclined to
trade. "That's fine horse" said the
proprietor Of the animal, to encourage
him, "a royal horse, and''-s. Yes''
quietly interrupted the other, I" there's
the prints of whales on his back now. -
The meeting adjourned. Bridgeport
Standard. ~. T. ~
"AH, by Georger' groaned young
MIR. Lethered, sinking YEARLY into an
oftice-chair. "ah. BY George! my head
aches fearfully." PossibleP' asked
his employer, old Mr.. Hardfax, with q
look of curious interest and sympathy.
"PossibleP Something must have got
into it," And then for a long time no
body said anything. and the room
seemed to grow about fifteen degrees
colder.-HdUk-Eye. T A.al 81
THE church-wardens of q church,
near Bath. in England, being Disguised
with the penuriousness Of . rich peer,
who, since the collection began to be
taken up in bag instead of q plate,
contributed nothing but coppers, re-
solved to shame him into nberality.
They cut slit in the bottom of the bag
and passed it first to his Lordship,
whose bronze penny fell with a re-
sounding clash on the floor, plain to be
seen of all men. Next day his Lord.
ship took all his prayer books and
cushions home and deserted the church
for good and all.
FACTS AND FIGURES.