St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-02-14
Squibs.
Ancient Greece-Old Butter.

Ancient Greece-Old Butter.
A man who attempted to pass cOun-
terfeit money said he did so to encour-
age home manufactures.-W City Der
rick.
The man who wrote that "nOthing
was impossible" never tried to find the
pocket in his wife's dress when it was
hanging up in the clothes press.-W White
hall Times.
The Hartford Post impertinently in
9uires ''Why not investigate 2" Well,
if we must confess, it is because we are
afraid we shall get found out.-Meriden
Recorder.
'Is the bowling of dog always fol-
lowed by death ~ asked a little girl of
her father "Not always, my dear;
sometimes the man who shoots at the
dog misses him." was the parents re-
ply.
See here, Mr.. Indian, you have some
reservations in Idaho that we whites
think we'd better take; so you move on
a little. What! You won't Well,
you'd better make up your mind to do
it, while we go home and run some
bullets, you blood-thirsty savages, you.
Oil City Derrick.
81 saw some prominent Masons this
morning who did not enjoy the promi-
nence very WE'LL" remarked one brother
of the mystic tie yesterday to another
with whom he had several times laugh
ed at the frequency with which refer
ence is made to ''prOminent MasOns."
The remark brought the expected
query, "Who were they 2" "Bricklay-
ers working on a wall two stories high"
was the reply.-E1.
We regret to read that so strict a
temperance woman as Mrs. Hayes wore
"wine-colored silk" the other night.
Water-color would have been more ap-
propriate.- Herald.
A halo of sympathetic regret always
surrounds Boston tramp--he belongs
to the might-have-be beans Cincinnati
Saturday Night.
"What," said an inquisitive young
lady, ''is the most popular color for
bride 2" We may be little particular
in such matters but we should prefer a
white one.-ELmira Gazette.
A domestic in an uptown New York
family, one morning before breakfast,
took the following prescription to a
druggist in the neighborhood "Please
give the bearer a double dose of castor
oil with taste disguised" Handing it
to the clerk, she sat down to await the
prescription, but was agreeably sur
prised to be soon asked if she would
like glass of soda-water. Having
drank it she resumed her seat and wait
ed for about Is minutes. She then
ventured to remark that she was ''afraid
the folks would be ready for breakfast"
if she did not go soon. "Well," said
the clerk, "what are you waiting for ?"
"Why, for that prescription" she said.
"Why, l gave it to you in that glass of
soda-water some time ago." "Oh, law"
was the reply, sit was not for me twas
for a man down at the house. ."-PrOUi-
dence Journal.
"Oh, l suppose he loves Sarah, and
would be glad to marry her," she was
saying to another woman in the post
office corridor yesterday, ''but dunno"
''Isn't he nice young man 2" asked the
other. "Well, he's nice enough, but
very reckless with his money. At
Christmas time he made us present of
a French clock for the parlOr, and there's
not one of us in the house could speak
Il word of French. He might just as
well have presented us with a German
thermometer or Spanish umbrella! We
had to trade it for barrel of molasses.n -
Detroit Free Press.
A Chattanooga darkey, who was one
of jury who failed to convict for want
of evidence, explained to his brethren
that the culprit was released on s'pic-
ion."-NeU York Graphic.
A correspondent of the Chronicle,
writing an account of social festivity,
gave list of edibles, in which occurred
the words, "bivalves raw, Cakes" etc.
Imagine his surprise when he got his
paper and read, "bivalves, rum cakes, y
etc.
A lady belonging to the diet mission
recently visited needy woman and
found her sick. "What is it q' she
kindly asked. Placing her hand to hel
heart, the woman said, ''it's repudia-
tion." "What ?" queried the visitor
Re u-di-a-tion," pronounced the
afflicted woman, ''that's what the doc.
tor said" And noticing the play OF
expression on her visitors face, sh,
hastened to add, "Tain't ketchin ~
HOTttQnd Advertiser.
Gentlemen of the jury" said al
Irish barrister, "it will be for you to say
whether this defendant shall be allowed
to come into court with unblushin.
footsteps, with the cloak of hypocrisy il
his mouth, and draw three bullocks ou
of my clients pocket with impunity."
The following is posted in front of
grocery store near Harvard square
"W OGDEN pals, six cents each. Motto,
We do not steal these pals, but W
think the man we bought them of did.
Boston AdUertiser.
Actual occurrence in Chicago street
car. Stylish lady holding lap dog i
about ready to leave the car. Do
manifests impatience. Lady says, i
sweetest tones, ''Wait, darling, ii
mamma puts on her glove.n Passenger
; " y In rrwl,k -