Daily globe., 1879-05-18
MADAM SCANDAL.

MADAM SCANDAL.
A long time ago, in the western part of
England, there lived an aged couple |
whose time had passed away since youth |
IN the every day round of farm life, and
who had never been known to have the
least ill feeling toward each other, since
the good old time when good old Parson
Herit had united them in the holy bonds of
wedlock twenty five years before. So we'll
was the fact of their congenial happiness
known, that they were spoken of far and
near as the happiest pair in England.
Now the Devil (excuse the abrupt men
tion of his name) had been trying to
create what is called 'sfuss in the fami-
ly'' between these old companions But
much to his modification, he had not
been able to induce the old gentleman
to grumble about breakfast being too late
or the old woman to give single curtain
lecture.
After repeated efforts, the Devil became
discouraged, and had he not been a per-
son OF great determination, he would
doubtless have given up in despair. One
clay he walked along in very surly
mood, after another attempt to get the
old lady to quarrel about the pigs getting
into the yard, he met an old lady, afriend
Of the aged couple. AS Mr.. Devil and
the neighbor were very particular friends
they must needs stop on the wsy and chat
a little.
"Good morning, sir,' she said, ''and
pray what on earth makes you look so
bad this morning? Isn't the controversy
between the two churches doing good
service?"
"Yes'
Isn't Deacon W. making plenty Of bad
whisky?"
Yes
swell, what is the matter, my highly
honored master?''
Everything is going well enough, !" re-
piled the Devil, s'but, (and he looked as
sour as monkey on a crab-apple tree)
old Blueford and his wife over here are
injuring the cause terribly by their bad
example; and after trying four years to
induce them to do right, I must
say considered them hopeless"
The hag stood moment in deep
thought.
Are you sure you have tried every
way?"
every way l think Of
care you certain?'
eyes"
'Well, replied she, ''if you will promise
to make me present of new pair of
shoes, In case / succeeded, will make
the attempt myself, and see if I can raise
a quarrel between them"
10 this reasonable request the Devil
gladly assented. The old hag went her
way to old Blueford's house, and found
Mrs Blueford busily engaged in getting
things ready for her husbands comfort on
his return from work. After the usual
compliments had passed the following
dialogue took place.
"Well, friend B., you and Mr.. B. have
lived together long time"
Give and twenty years coming Novem-
ber," replied Mrs. B.
''All this time you never had quar-
rel?"
'sNot one.''
Il am truly glad to hear it," continued
the hag. II consider it my duty to warn
you, though this is the case, you must not
expect it to be always Have you not
observed that of late Mr.. B. has grown
pcevish and sullen at timcs?"
"a very little so,' observed Mrs. Blue.
ford.
II knew it." continued the hag; 6 and
, let me warn you to be on your guard
Mrs. B. did think she had better do so
and asked advice as to how the should
manage the case.
"Have you not noticed" /" said the hag
''that your husband has bunch of long
harsh hair growing under the chin on the
} side of his throat?"
eyes"
These are the cause of the trouble, ant
as long as they remain you had bette
look out. Now, as a friend, [ would
advise you to cut them off the first tim,
you get a chance, and thus end you
trouble, and as long as they remain yol
had better look out.
Soon after this the hag started fo
home, and made it convenient to NEE
Mr.. B. on the way. Much the same tall
in relation to his domestic happiness
passed between him and the old woman
"But, friend Blueford,'' said she, g
think it is my duty as a Christian tt
warn you to be on your guard; for tel
| you yonr wife intends your ruin
sold Mr.. B. wes very much astonished
, yet he could not wholly discredit he
words. When he reached home h
threw himself on the bed in perplexity
and feigning himself asleep, studied til
+ matter over in his mind. His wife
!, thinking this a good opportunity, 70
cutting off his obnoxious hair, took he
husbands razor and crept softly to hi
side. Now the old lady was very mucl
frightened at holding a razor so close t
her husbands IS neck, and her hand was NO
SO steady as it once was, SO between tn
, two she went to work very awkwardly
and pulled the hairs, instead of cuttin
them off. Mr.. B. opened his eyes, an
s there stood his wife with razor at hi
throat After what had been told hin