The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-01-31

n Tbtltt lSldUu6T says tlldu uIuuhCA lilly
sionaries make good "cornee" beef.
A jury in Rhode Island studied five days
to ascertain the ownership of one hog.
An Indiana rooster is laboring patiently
to bring forth brood OF chickens.
A gentleman said recently, "railroad com
munications corrupt good manners"
An advertising jeweller compares the
"water" of his diamonds to widows tears. "
Cambria County, Pa, has female con-
stable. No man objects to being arrested.
Homemade sausages have suddenly got
into great demand. "LOve me, love my
dog"
The growing demand for three-masted
schooners is because no man can serve two
masters.
"The Presidents funeral oration" is what
the indianapolis Journal called the veto
message.
An Iowa lad of sixteen has been sued by
a miss of fourteen, for breach of promise.
So we go.
"Sacred to the memory of three twins,
is the inscription over a grave in New
Hampshire.
A man in London earns melancholy sub
sistence as ''dreadful-accident maker" for
the newspapers.
Quick transit A Boston baker advertises
"Home-made English bread-tresh every
morning"
A young lady in indianapolis won
wager by not speaking for week. There
are not many such.
The Cleveland Leader mentions an organ
grinder of that city as IAN old veteran sui
eide inducer."
A Pennsylvania boy cut his throat, but
that didn't kill him. lie couldn't eat any
thing, and that did.
The editor of the New Berlin Gazette
wants to sell his Midland railroad stock for
an old setting hen.
Dayton, Ohio, has three hundred and
eight grain elevators. The grain, however,
is elevated in its liquid form.
A St. Louis art critic takes occasion to re-
mind the painters that they could do a better
business mending tin pans.
Without having special reference to Susan
| B., we should like to know-''Wh hat is home
without motherH'
The last baby born in Pennsylvania
weighed nineteen pounds. 1t would be
cruel to ask anybody to "beat that"
Georgia has produced the finest caulihowers
this season, and Congress the biggest cab
bage heads.
How to become practically acquainted
with the Rule of Three Live with your
wife, mother, and mother-in-law.
A Chicago paper chronicled the election
of the St. Louis Board of Trade under the
head OF" Miscellaneous Crimes"
An Iowa farmer desires to sell his farm,
not because he is old or infrm, but on &C
count of constitutional laziness.
Spectators propose to get up corner in
Petroleum. Well, anything, so long as they
don't water the stock.
A Kickapoo young lady is said to kick
the beam at 275 pounds. And Kickapoo is
not much of a place for kicking either.
A fellow who was sent to jail in Ohio for
sheep stealing, said to the Justice, " Well,
and Bazaine and Tichborne can stand it,"
Abiding to chignons, Mrs. Cleayer id
ga girl is all head.7' 'Yes until you talk
to her" answered Mr.. Cleaver.
"Sa1es ladies" now advertise in the news,
papers. " Washer lady," " char-lady, .
and lady of all work % will follow in due
course.
Are oysters healthy?" asked an old
lady Of her physician. {" never heard any
of them complain Of being unwell," was thu
reply.
A Yankee wanted the Bridge of Sighs
pointed out to him, and then offered to be-
America had several bridges twice the size.
A lady lecturer believes that women ough
to retain their own names when they ge
married. She has retained hers thus far.
A new weekly paper, called the Jim ant
Eliza Journal" has been started in Missis
sippi. Jim and Eliza are the editor and hi
wife. -."
) Marine Disaster" Western papers re
J port that several persons were lost, las
week, in the Chicago Inter- Ocean.
Think ola Chicago compositor setting
, maiden's poem
, Il would that my heart were full of swee
!, yearlings." -a
Whether to marry or not to marry wa
!, decided by a couple at Clinton, Mass, tn
other day, by a game Of dominoes-and Ely
7 men won
An old bachelor editor has discovered tina
, girls are plenty in Baltimore, but stided
/ sigh when he learned that . marriage licens
cost $50. '