The Weston Democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1875-current, 1879-11-15
TIE END COLU.HN.

IL Is no Slnll DcCiluSC u I'LL H!Gl IL
growing sage that he is becoming
Tho time is coming when a buf.
falo robo will cover two hearts that
beat as ono.
"Tm engaged for this SET" said
the hen to the rooster MS sho went
clucEing away.
"Flour is rising" said one dealer
onnothcr. THAT shows it is good"
was the quick reply.
every man has his prcjudices,'
said wife. "And every woman
has her bias" was tho husbands
reply.
The man who tries to run n news
paper to Suitrvcrybody, die d in an
Eastern poorhouse eighty years
ago.
Leadvillc isn't n healthy country.
-Four suicides, $ hangings, and .
cases OF tar and feathers is the re-
cord for month.
Tho French ladies have a saying
that a man should keep his eyes
open before marriage, and half shut
nitcrwarl
"By their fruits shall ye know
thrm,' was written long before tho
small boy carried home apples in
the legs Of his trousers.
Il rise for information," said a
member Of a Legislative body. 81
am very glad to hear it." said by
stanlcr no man wants it more"
4 great many men are so anx-
iOusly advocating the payment Of
tho national debt that they forget
all about those contracted by them
selves.
George, dear, don't you think
its rather extravagant Of you to
cat butter with that delicious jam?"
NO, love; economical. Same
piece Of bread docs for both"
a college student from New
York, in rendering to his father an
account Of his term expense, inser.
tod: TO charity, thirty dollars,
lila father wrote back: "Charity
covers Il multitude of sins"
A Milwaukee girl, suffering from
lockjaw, was left alone with q
mouse by the shrcwd physician,
and she contrived to open her
mouth enough to give yell that
made the, crockevy in the china
closet rattle.
1t is against the law to carry
concealed arms, yet it is nothing
uncommon on moonlight evenings
to see young Indies with half con-
ccaled arms around their waists.
But they ain't the kind that 50 oil;
they stay there.
"a colorcd man appeared before n
magistrate, charged with some triv-
ial offence. The latter said to tho
man: "lou can gn now; but let
me warn You never to appear here
again" The man replied, with
broad grin: Il wouldn't be hero
dis time, only do constable (otch
me-"
An Albany paper says: 4 fearl
street grocer has placed OIL cXhibi-
tion beet measuring - inches in
length and : feet in diameter. We
dislike to take him down, but one
of our hotel proprietors lately
pitched into the street heat six
feet high and thirty-cisht inches
around the chest.
About tho best thing We have
heard on the pinafore business oc-
Cured in one of our fashionable
lrawing-rooms recently. A young
lady present remarked that the
West Point Cadets all woro whito
pants. 4 Young gentleman i'm
mediately rcjoined, "And so do
their sisters and their cousins and
their aunts." The young ladies'
tainted, anil Il scene Of the widest
confusion cnsued.
They were courting. "What
makes the stars shine so dim TO-
nighl?" she said softly. "Yuur
eyes are so much brighter" ho
whispered, pressing her littlo hand.
They are married now. Il wonder
how many telegraph poles it would
tnke to roach from here TO the
stars" she said musingly. "Onc,if
it WAS long enough" he growlrd.
why don't you talk coamon
scnSc?'
A ten wear old boy boasting of
his fathers accomplishments, put
il thus: AMY father ran do almost
anything; he's notary public, and
he's an apothccarv, and can pull
teeth land he's Il horse doctor, and