The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-01-29
SUNBEAMs.

In Noah's ark it took two of kind to
beat pair. .
Young men and corn always "pop" bet
ter when they get over being green.
Speaking of rude remarks any remark
is rued that gets you into trouble.
If a man is kicked by a COW, can he not
be said to get q free milk punch Puck.
Did you ever catch your clothes lynn p
Whitehall Times. No, but we've heard
'em rip and tear like anything. And
there's no debut they sometime-s-w wear
awfully.
A writer on the effects of good taste says
"a mans dress should not be remarkable"
That iswhy we always said a black patch
should not be seated on white pants, or
vtce ve'sa.-Picdyune
When man reaches the top of stair
way and attempts to make one more step
higher, the sensation is as perplexing as if
he had attempted to kick dog that wasn't
there.
"How much did you pay for that hat p
asked an old colored person of his fell
low tramp. "Well, don't know, for
when I bought it there wasn't anybody in
the shop"
Two beligerent lawyers at Lebanon, In
diana, bombarded each other with all the
inkstanls they could find. The Judge
himself got little mixing of it, and was
inc( )lned to punish them for contempt.
If you take one of the new silver half
dollars, pour little muriatic acid on the
figure of the eagle and vet it in the sun for
twenty minutes, when you come to look at
it it will be gone. And the tramp who
took it will be gone also.
There Is man in Louisiana who is such
a confirmed gambler that when he was told
the other day that friend had been
stricken down by the chill, cold hand of
death, +" he Immediately went out to raise
it, declaring that mo man could play a
cold hand on any friend of his
"What is junction, nurse p asked q
seven-year.old fairy the other day of
an elderly lady who stood at her side on
railroad platform. "a junction, my DEAR"
answered the nurse, with the air of a very
superior person indeed; why, it is place
where two roads separate
A floating paragraph says 'the newest
pocket-fask is covered with crocodile
skin" Will some old scientist have the
kindness to inform US what a pocket flask
is?-No,ristown Herald. Tell him, some-
body-he don't really know, he never car
ried less than gallon jug with him.
Fulton Times.
''Well, suppose you have been out to
look at Texas; did you see anything of our
friend x. out there?' "Yes-gone de-
ranged" 'Gone deranged! How? What
does lie do? Real crazy?" eyes, indeed
he doesn't know his own hogs from his
neighbors'."
An American tourist WAS visiting Naples,
and saw Vesuvius during an eruption.
"Have you anything like that in the New
World?" was the question of an Italian
spectator. NO." replied jonathan, 'but
guess we have mill-dam that would pnt
it out in five minutes!"
Mellow at a cattle-show, where he made
himself conspicuous by his bluster, cried
out, Call these prize cattle! Why they
amt nothing to what our folks raised.
My father raised the biggest calf of any
man around our parts" mo doubt of
it" said bystander, "and the noisiest."
An Irishman who was standing on Lon
don bridge said to youth, Faith, and
think know yees; what's yer name 7"
"Jones," said the boy. 'Jones, JONES'
said the Irishman, ''and knew several
ould maids by that name in Dublin; was
aither of them yer mother?"
Robinson went up to his room the
other afternoon and noticed that there
was only one match remaining in the
box. "Now if that shouldn't burn to-
night when I come in," soliloquized
he, what fix would be in" So he
tried to see if it was good one. 1t
was.
A new clerk in Harlem drug store was
discharged the other day because he didn't
| know how to look wise, roll his eyes, and
say Seventy five cents" without turning
| red in the face, as he handed out little
| powder that had cost the concern about
| two cents and fraction. Emotion and
business don't jingle.
He lives in the country, and he wanted
to get married, but his remark was appli-
cable even unto the youth of the city:-"T
can almost support myself now, and it
must be mighty poor sort of woman
who can't do the rest" Is there father
and mother who wish to take another
boarder?
A lady at Binghamton, while looking
over her husbands old clothes recently
discovered letter which she had given
him to post eleven years ago. The letter
was addressed to lady friend, and its nom
arrival was the cause of an enstrangement
between the two families ever since. And
yet girls continue to get married.
In Paris restaurant gentleman and
q snob are seated at the same table. The
snob is Just finishing his dinner, the gen.
tleman just beginning his. The snob
lights cigar and blows cloud of smoke
over his coffee. The gentleman rises and
says in the politest tone, Excuse me, sir