The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1879-06-06
A STORY W1rH.A MORAL.

AAOuSuOhyS LIZ. C<tuuSo II IllUDuTu, tu6 pres.
idents gave an able address on ''The Nerve"
which is printed in full in the American
Practitioner. BY way of illustration, he.
told the following good story of doctor
who, in treating a nervous patient, resorted
to what was perhaps, under the circum-
stances,a justitiablo deception, but who did
not afterwards discreetly Keep the matter
to himself, as he should have done:
An acute young surgeon in England was
summoned to visit a very wealthy single.
lady, far advanced in years, who had for u
year been suffering from an alleged bristle
Of her toothbrush that had fastened itself
in her throat. She stated that she had
consulted the eminent surgeons of London,
but they had uniformly assured her, after
critical inspection, that she was only the
victim of a nervous delusion, that her throat
was perfectly healthy, that the disturbance
was only in her imagination. "And so they
so, the stupid, obstinate, perverse, unfeel.
ing creatures" concluded the poor lady,
Saying there is nothing lkhe matter with
me, while l am dying, dying" The sur
geon caught his cue, and was equal to the
occasion, and after examining her throat
with much deliberation announced that she
was quite right-Sir Benjamin Brodie and
Sir James Clark were mistaken; he could
see the head of the bristlc low down, almost
out of sight, and If she would permit, he
would run home, get his instruments, and
extract it instantly. Certainly that ives
tho very thing she was longing for. The
surgeon presently returned with delicate
forceps, in the teeth of which he held con-
cealad bristle from tooth. brush. The lady
threw her head back the surgeon intro
duced his forceps-a prick, scream, and it
was all over. The surgeon with smiling
face was closely inspecting tho extracted
bristlo. The lady was in raptures she i'm
mediately recovered her health and spirits,
and went about everywhere sounding the
praises Of her saviour, as sho called the sur
geon. So enthusiastic was her gratitude,
she offered him her hand in marriage and
her noble fortune. The fact that tho young
surgeon was already married was an isuper-
able obstacle to this arrangement. But
other proofs of gratitude the lady showered
on him. She compelled him to accept a
carriage and horses, a>sorvics Of plate, and
a new house. Unfortunately, the lucky
fellow could not keep his own COUNSEL
Like foolish Samson with Delilah, he i'm.
OF his bosom. She confded it to Louise
Clarissa, her especial friend, who had been
her bridesmaid. Louise Clarissa told it
under VOWS of inviolab!e secrecy, to six
other particular friends and the other par
ticular friends-base and unworthy girls
told it to all the world. Ere long the
story came round to the lady herself Then
a storm arose She was in a transport Of
fury! 1t was of no avail for the surgeon
to remind her that he had unquestionably
raised her from pitiabe condition to health
and happiness. "That mottcred not. He
had tricked, fooled, bamboozled her She
would not forgive him she would pursue
him with uSdyins vengeance; she would
ruin him."
All of which may be, taken, as evidence
that the nerves of some women and surgeons
are sometimes badly balanced; aud the
moral is-when young doctor has an im>
aginary bristle to extract from wealthy
spinster's throat, he should perform tho
operation before he gets married.
RICH, RARE AND RAcY.-The following
letter to New York firm is full of fun and
explains itself:
Hon POINT, N. G.
Messrs. J,,o. Smith d Co.
GENTS Replying to yours Of the 18th
instant, [ have to say, that for the prospect
-of having claims placed in my hands to
collect, in this vicinity and nothing more,
| do not feel willing to report the "stand.
ing" of of the party mentioned, or of any
one else. | do not wish to be misunder.
stood as saying that do not want paying
business: but | know that lawyer would
starve as quick on commissions and fees on
collections as he would on corn cob soup in
January. ',o'"
| have had some experience in irving to
collect. have offered to comp. claims by
taking old clothes, frozen cabbage, stones,
powder horns, ord -four barrels, gourds,
coon skins, jay birds, owls, or almost any.
thing, and yot have o number of those
old claims on hand unsettled. If were
to depend on collecting claims for my liy-
ing, my bean broth would get so thin that IL
would rattle in me like pot liquor in poor
dog.
l don't like to shoot at long taw, but if
you are inclined to pay anything certain for
the desired reports, I'm your man say ten
dollars cash, then I'm in, or if money is
scarce, would take shoes, large Nos. say
los, lis, and 12s, to the amount of ten
dollars at wholesale prices.