Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1879-12-11
VARIETIES.

to blow about.
! "A breath of suspicion ruins tenn
perance lecturer.
Hard wear-Tight boots. .-PhtJa-
delphtG CbTonicLe-HeTaLd
Its soap deferred that maketh the
heart sick-of the spectator.
Industry needs not wish, and he
that lives upon hope will die fasting.
! "A stitch in time frequently saves
the entire garment.-BuBaLo EgpreSS.
! Why door-nail is any more dead
than door must be because it has been
hit on the head.-NeaO Orleans Plea
yatne.
You should never give advice. If
the person to whom you offer it is wise
he doesn't need it, if he isn't he won't
take it.
-Peteriohn says if he could have his
way during life, he shouldn't care if his
will were contested after his death
Boston Transcript.
In South Carolina statute pro-
vide9 that all persons having no rea-
sOnable and lawful excuse shall attend
some religious service every Sunday.
"A mustard plaster is a good thing
in its place; but the best place so far as
our experience goes, is to have the
mustard plaster on ham sandwich.
The world didn't come to an end,
as predicted, but we haven't yet seen
anybody who paid his debts IN antici-
patton of the eVent.--N. y. E1press.
1t is happy provision of nature
that people do not know when they lose
their senses, and fools do not miss the
absence of brains.-Nes0 Orleans Plea
yst11e.
New Orleans has depraved school
girl, who, instead of passing her gum
around for the other girls to chew on
swallows it herself when her jaws get
tired.
OF course, the journal who said it
doesn't mean anything when it says,
d" Common law is founded on common
sense. Other laws are made by Con-
gress."
"A chap at Circleville, Ohio, smoked
a pipe over an open keg of powder to
show how brave he was, and yet when
his wife called "Henryw from back
gate he turned as white as snoW.-Free
Press.
-" Death is the great commander"
says Boston paper. This will settle
q Vexed question in many Detroith house
holds. Heretofore it has been hard
struggle to see who should boss the job. /
Free Press.
"A country correspondent sends us
the following soul-horrowing conun-
drum. Why do pigs thrive better on
sour milk than they do on sweet? And
the answer is because they get more of
it.-LockpOrt Union.
An exchange published an article
boasting of g What single bean can
produce" 1t is amazing. Fired from
bean-shooter into mans ear, it can
produce some of the worst language
man is capable of uttering.
Benjamin Franklin wanted the
turkey selected for the emblematical
bird of America instead of the eagle
and this it will be remembered, was q
long, long time before a trade dollar
was thought of.-ROche5ter Herald.
Alfonso was obliged to borrow two
million dollars for his wedding expen-
ses. If fellow in this country could |
borrow couple of millions on such an
occasion the Boston Transcript thinks
there would not be neglected spinster
from Maine to Texas. ~.rEr.ae
Mamma: What's the matter,
darlingP You don't seem pleased to
see me-" Precious Darling: "No, I
am not, mamma. Itind you have gone
and engaged yourself to be married
again without my approval, when had
already promised you to one of Gerty's
unclesr'
When you see man with gun on
his shoulder and three dogs at his heels
making across the country, you needn't
feel bad for the rabbits. He'll miss a
CROW or two, find a few frozen apples,
fall into creek and return home be-
lieVing he has had a laundering big
time.-FTee Press.
Prof. Proctor has been delivering
q lecture in New York on "The I'm
of Space" Can Mr.. Proctor
tell what space is?-Evenjng Journal.
First tell him whether you mean a three
em, thin, Or hair space.-Albany Times.
Let him sit between two stout women
n narroW-seated cutter. Free Press.
S. T. S.-We are sorry that you
lon't like the paper. We publish it
simply and solely to please you. We
should ask you to come down to the
office and edit it, only that if you did
jome iniquitous idiot mig int write to tell
you how much better he could do it
himself, and that would probably annoy
| nervous person like yOu.-PHcE.
Mems Fashions.
IT. ,oI,1vn.o boodlonor into tho 1nliaotn