The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1879-09-10
The First Bachelor.

Imagine Adam in his lonliness, the only
human being in this wide, wide world-a
full grown man at his birth, with no one to
grant him certificate thereof, or to furnish
him with the evidence that he ever was born
at all. He has never experienced any of the
perils of infancy and childhood, such as the
cutting of teeth, mumps, measles and chick
en-pox, without which no young mans
education is complete.
Adam is the only boy who never had
grandmother to mend his pants, knit his nit
tens and stand between him and all harm.
He had never played the great and exhilara-
ting game of base ball, never had submitted
to the indignity of having a chip knocked
from his shoulder by some other boy. No,
he had none of the essentials that go toward
making up the average boy of the present.
He found himself born somehow, a full
grown man, bachelor, with no chum in the
whole universe with whom to converse upon
that interminable topic, the weather; no one
to go fishing with; s'no one to caress;" no one
to sew buttons on his shirt; no one to lend
helping hand. There he was, the keeper of
a geological garden, with no doorkeeper to
take the tickets no one to come to the show.
Like all bachelors, he seemed to be mistake,
and this quality of mistake has been SO
severely transmitted through the long ages
that have interviewed, without let-up or hind
rance, that it has become fixed fact, unal-
terable as Persian law. His Maker saw
what any one at this day clearly sees-that
it was not good for man to be alone. He be-
came fdegty, queer, notional, and out of
order generally. Adam, had. in all proba-
bility, begun to manifest some of these
peculiar characteristics, and was himself
convinced that there was something more
necessary to his happiness, but he had not
the brains to invent, nor the ingenuity to de-
wise anything in himself.
Adam evidently was not happy man in
his estate of single-blessedness, and the Div
inc Being, ever anxious for the welfare of his
creatures, saw that it was nohgood for him
to be alone, and hence gave him, what every
full-grown man needs, some one to talk to, to
argue with, to love and cherish. and if things
don't go right generally, to lay part of the
blame upon.
Did you ever contemplate the poverty of
Adam when he took Eve for better or worse2
Only think of it. Hehadnt a hat to his head,
a coat to his back, pair of shoes to his feet,
nor "'nary a red cent" in his trousers pocket.
Eve brought no dowry, she had nothing to
bestow, save her love and affection, and as
he was the only young fellow around, it was
he or nobody. Equally poor with her hus-
band, she came to him without a bonnet, or
shawl, calico gown, or even a pair of slip
pers. Moses forgot in his "reminiscences, to
give us any account of their wedding trip,
but from what we can gather in regard to
the wardrobes of that day, their baggage
would have proved no incumbrance, for
very limited amount sufficed, and dressing to
please everybody was of no account, for there
were none but themselves to please. Doubt
less their whole outfit of travelling dresses,
waterproofs, busters, lunch-baskets, and all,
he could have carried in the pocket of his
trousers. They must have started house
keeping. also. upon, as small capital as could
well be imagined. They hadn't as far as can
be CLEANED from history, hair-brush,
fine-tooth comb, towel, or soap, nor bitters,
soothing syrup, clothes-wringers, smoothing
irons-no, nothing.
Adam wasn't afraid to invite his wife to