The comet. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1877-1882, 1879-06-07
Advice TO YOnng Men.
From the Sunny South.

Get married.
SUCK bouquet in your bottonhole, part
, your hair In the middle, cram your number
nine hands into pair of number seven
white kids, and get married.
There's nothing like it.
> Why, where would you be now. Won
idiot, if you father had lived an old bachelor
all his days?
. VIII you hang back and let your children
be orphans, because you refuse to become
parent
Don't waste your time serenadinp vour
girl, and getting chased out of the yard by
a faithful Watchdog, but go to her and
say:
Amelia, my darling, am the recipient
OF eight dollars per week, AMI am abun-
dainty able to support wife. Wilt thou
| be mine?
And if she looks at the matter in the
same light you do, she will hang her ear
on the point of your piccadilly, and say
Orlando, l wiltn
OF course she wilt.
But there Is possibility that you will |
be the first one to wilt after the marriage |
No matter bristle up, take unto your
sell W-fe, and have some style about you.
man never knows what domestic bliss
Is TILL ne has been kicked out of bed once or
Twice by an energetic wife, who takes an
honest pride in letting him know that she
IS proprietor of that particular portion of
the globe.
Almost every body gets married, and it
is good joke.
But the Joke soon wears out.
Some marry i'll haste, and then sit down
and think it over.
Some think it carefully over first, and
then sit down and marry.
Both ways are right if you hit the mark.
If you are addicted to feelings of lone
llness, marriage will cure you of all that.
Ii you are OF an independent spirit and
accustomed to have your own way, mar
rage will cure you of that also. a
Perhaps you will find it hard to realize u
1t first that you are actually married IL
nan. j
But the first time you stay out till mid D
light, the reality of the thing will be for
ed upon you so abruptly that you will feel W
s if you had been knocked down with a o.
ootstool. h'
And maybe you have-T don't know. OF
Women arc economical beings, and will ri
lake your money go farther than you can. IN
They will make it go so far in fact that al
one of it will ever find its way back. IN
W1tes instinct of economy enables her t''
buy her husband whole suit of clothes IN
'r fifteen dollars and herself sacque for WI
irty.
Perhaps you have been in the habit of
'ylng from seventy-fye cents to dollar
I'd half for single undershirt.
Your wife will buy you one for twenty Of
q cents. Vi
To be sure the twenty-five cent shirt tra a .
len washed, looks like a set of fiddle IN,
1ngs; but 1t shouldn't be washed, ,,a, 20,
You don't want to be too clean. W.,
thus you see that you cannot possibly poe +
along without a wife. a
The sooner you get one the sooner YOU g.
be admitted to the paradise Of coniugal bis
city, and learn how to to hold a sGuall- WI
baby, while your wife hangs over the w., w.
ks fence and tells Mrs. Smith what a naai ll,si
dy husband she's got. opfo oTs'
Fhen your Clothes get ragged your wife n
repair them-may ybe-if her time is -
too much taken up with other things. ofa, fl.
wen if she doesn't you have tho conso~ 80, 80
On of pins. Me}
etore you were married you never could l,a,,,
PIN when you wanted it; now they eooIo
everywhere all over the dressing table, al
he nash, on the floor, and sometimes cbis,
make the painful discovery that they faat,
even on the chairs. ,,9 nos'.
pin is an insignificant affair in itself, bn5,
when you sit down on its point, you of y
as if telegraph pole had penetrated \vbe,
existence 80 ~,
arried men make the best soldiers.
't because they are the best fighters, III
APPS, but because they can do better ,o,,l
If retreating. -
ley learn to dodge flying missiles with -
nicely, and practice this sport SO much MA
'me that they can get out OF the way of nv q,
hing, from gridiron to a bombshell. 80
poleon Bonaparte was married man. ST..
have no doubt he would dive under t,,ro-
ed as quick as any other man when al,
ife gritted her teeth and made a grab ,,,,t I
q argument that could be thrown clear So
s the room. -:
ing man get married. p,-Ioi,
MT hessate.
nter is coming on, and you will need Ta,,e,i -
one to get mp in the morning and tioI-7.
the fires, while You take your morn aIIAee I'm
lp.
Tife is whst you want. No
will make herself useful in a variety ui1O l l I'd
scrubbing and keeping ep,',I tLo =,
use in order-and will undoubtedly -I.I. ~ "a
happy a. you are miserable.
'ut then there's one thing woman doc
That makes man mighty mad Nasi