Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1879-05-27
The Horrors of Perihelfa,

His name is not Grim, as it might be.
but Grimmer, which is properer and
he lives in San Jose, Cal. He has pub
iished a pamphlet called "The Voice of
the Stars" and most melancholy voice
1t is. 1t sets forth the intolerable things
which are to happen in consequence of
the perihelia of the four great planets,
Jupiter, Uranus, Neptune and Saturn,
IN 1880. or between 1880 and 1872 The
effect of the approach to the sun stimuli
taneously of SO many great bodies, Grim
mer says, Will be unspeakably disas-
San Jose astrologer, among other nIea.
SAINT results, "every drop of water in
the Earth, and above the Earth, and on
the Earth will be more or less poison.
ous." Then will come seven sorrowfuI
years. Ancient races will be blotted
from the face of the Earth. Fifteen mil
lions of the inhabitants of America will
die, unless stringent sanitary measures
are adopted, as they will not be, for ev-
erybody knows that they never are.
Then will come storms and tidal waves
and tornadOes, with volcanic actions of
the worst sort; mountains and valleys
will charge places, and ''navigators
grow pale with alarm at the capricious
deflexure of the needle" The particu-
larly energetic way in which volcanoes
will "belch forth their lava" the suffo-
eating fumes of sulphur which will es-
cape from the Earth, the sudden disap-
pearance of islands, including, perhaps,
the island of Manhatten, with an un.
precedented number of shipwrecks. will
be followed by fanaticism, bloodshed,
murder and robbery; while (remarks
Grimmer) "every one will be absorbed
in the trying task of keeping alive.n
The poor will die by tens Of thousands.
The doctors will raise prices; but Mr..
Grimmer advises everybody, when these
dying times arrive, to put no faith in
physicians, but to take copious draughts
of warm water, abstain from animal
food, and wear cotton dipped in cam
phor in the nostrils. The pestilence will
ravage until 1885, and then will come
fires which will rage with fury until
1887. The sun will discharge oceans of
flaming hydrogen gases. There will be
tremendous showers of meteors. Dense
black clouds will veil the sun for days.
Binding flashes of lightning will illu-
mine the sombre sky. The flesh eater
and alchoholIc imbiber will 90 hand-in-
hand to the grave. Strife, discord. war,
floods, inundations-but enough! No
longer let US dwell upon the coming ca
tastrophe! 1t should be mentioned,
however, that according to Grimmer
General Grant will be elected President
in 1880. and reelected in 1884. In 1887
he will be in special danger of railway
collisions, after which he will have
series of years of peace and happiness,
and Idle idolized by this country, and
respected and honored by the world"
The great Gr1mmer, as citizen of Ca
lifornla, is naturally disposed to let off
that State easily. 1t will be the last and
least sufferer from 1.-The most malignant
plague era the world has ever known"
"The Pacific States" we are told, Twill
be veritable Paradise of peace compar.s
ed with the heilish fstrife that will be
waging throughout the world" We
see how it was. Grimmer evidently
was afraid of the Vigilance Committee,
should he venture to include San Jose
in the general ruin. He would have
been waited upon by a deputation of
the most energetic citizens, and COM
PEELED to revise his calculations. With
one end of q rope about his neck and the
other tied to some convenient branch,
Grimmer would have been made to
figure out nothing but good luck and
plenty of whisky to San Jose from 1880
to 1888. He sagaciously escaped his
fate. He kills off the rest of US, but he
spares the Califernians. What is there
for us to do but to appoint an opposition
Grimmer of our own, who will deduee
for our comfort from "the perihelia of
the four great planets" nothing but
health, prosperity. and good time gen.
erally.--NeaO York Tribune.