Litchfield enquirer., 1879-02-27
CLIPPINGS.

The walking fever has brought out large number of sole -oists.
 A perennial pencil point is what would be appreciated by newspaper men.
 Was there ever poker long enough to pre- vent the handle from growing uncomfortably hot
 Schaefer, the billiard champion, is one of the few men who have had the happiness of burying the Sexton.
 The newest and best maple sugar finds it's way into the market about two weeks before the trees are tapped.
 A writer having spoken of "a charming young lady of eighteen springs, a punster suggests, "Probably her name is Sofy."
 They way of the transgressor is said to be hard, but in these days of soft and sl0shy travelling, perhaps it is desirable.
 "Oh /? isn't it just gIorious?" was Princess Louise's exclamation on seeing Niagara. Lorne didn't say much, but kept thinking of the hack fare.
 A Chattanooga darkey, who was one of jury which failed to convict for want of evi- d2nce explained to his brethren that the cul- prit was "reeased on s'picion."
 "'Tis the last rose of January sang Bridge port boy as he got up the thirty-irs morning of that month
 The Chinese Encyclopedia meets long felt want; no family should be without It. It is published in Pekiu, and has only 5O20 vol umes Price S7,50O.
 The base ball season is almost here and as- piring young men are 'cramming" on the new rules, in order that they may give the utmost | dissatisfaction as umpires. Twentv-fOur citizens were before a certain District Court for neglecting to remove snow and ice from the sidewalk Six of the num- Der are doctors, who probably had an eye to business.
 'Now, if you got any weeding you want done, Pm your man" earnestly exclaimed the | tramp who was at the back door of Danbury house few days ago looking for work. The conductor on the Mt. Washington rall- way last summer, when asked by nervous old lady, where they would all go to if the wheel should break, replied that would de- pend on the life they had led here.
 It's unkind to keep that story floating about | Nero fiddling over the burning of Rome, when he hasn't the conyeniences of writing an ex- 1 planatory card to the newspapers. He might have been fiddling little, but probably hadn't | heard the fire alarm.
 Little Freddie was talking to his grandma, who was something of a skeptic. Grandma, do you belong to any church ?" ''No." ''Well, grandma, don't you think it is about tine to | get in somewhere?' ?'
 She-"Do you suppose that have five or six hands, that I can dc everything at once, | say?" He-'I realize that you have not my dear, and I realize that you have five or six tongues" Tabeau-pyrotechnics gymnas- tics, and mysteries.
 ''I say, my fren' can you Chic) tell me where the other side of the street p Ger tainly-just across the way why doyeu ask?" l "Why (hic), because a minute ago 1 asked another fellow the same thing and (hic) he said this was the other side of the street."
 A gentleman having occasion to praise a kind hearted Irishwoman for her good deeds, said to her, Well, well Kate, if there is heaven in the next world you will get to it. " AS quick as lightning came the reply, with all l the heartiness of the race, God bless ye, MT. P--, an sure if 1 do, I'll lave the gate open for you" @ | At a Methodist conference meeting in New York a man got up and said he had long wish ed to speak, but his wife wouldn't let him. His wife had died, however, and having his liberty at last, he proposed to exercise it. In about two minutes the entire conference wept over the death of the lady as oyer the loss of a personal friend. s.-@ .,'--t
 From the British fleet in eastern waters !: A young midshipman went out tojoin his ship, commanded by gallent officer, otherwise a don. He was met on deck by the captain, who said, ''Well, youngster, so you've come to join us. suppose it's the old story-the fool of the family, eh? Flaw, haw !'' To which the middy replied, in a squeaky voice, 70, no, sir; it's all changed since your day" Exit captain.