The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-07-18
Iten1S.
Out on a fowl-Feathers.

The circus camel has his back up for
| the season.
Strawberry boxes are always made 10
fit the price
| That terrible disease, hydrophobia, is
again claiming victims.
| The Sunday question-Baked beans or
fish balls for breakfast?
In the Alps trees cease to grow at an
elevation of 6 400 feet.
| Save your bacon" 1t is worth fifty
cents pound in Leadville.
AT New York buresque, Little But
tercup is called Oleomsrgarine.
| -"Baby Bonds" is name given in New
I York to the ten-dollar certificates.
| Mr.. Bayard Taylor pronounced his first
name as though it were spelled Bi.ard.
| "A Newburg dentist pulls teeth, removes
ulcers, and then replants the teeth.
Before hitting the nail on the head be
sure it is not the nail of your own finger.
| 1t is curious, but two loaves of good
bread cannot be made without using 'leav-
| en-.
Folks who have been doing nothing all
| winter are going off on summer vaca-
| tion.
The Traveller says the true mission of
a school-committee man is to worry the
teachers.
Five barrels ofarnica arrived in Boston,
lately in anticipation of the sport of the
| baseball season.
In the Mississippi penitentiary there
are over two hundred convicts who are i'm
prisoned for life.
They had their way. and called it Mag
nolia, but every old.time Cape Amer knows
it as "Kettle Cove"
English papers are beginning to intro
duce the interview" feature, but thus far
with dismal SUCCESS.
"A private letter from Sir Samuel Baker
states That Cyprus is the most ill-favored
and pestientia of islands.
"A Western editor alkided to his rival
as "a fellow who represents seventeen dis
tinct kinds ofa born foolW
The man who habitually and regularly
left the door open all winter is just learning
to shut it tight every time.
Advice is something that lawyers sell,
but the New Orleans Picayune declares it's
elf willing to give it away.
"A training school is being established
| in England in order to provide trained nur-
| SSo ioi shO oiNh III piiNdlC iduilCss
The Worcester Gazete notes it as sign
| of better times that the average juryman is
now eager to be excused from service.
There is nothing more deceiving than
| theorange. peel, and nothing so real as thu
sidewalk under it.
| Where is my boy tonight" is the til
tie of a touching new song. We don't
know which is his favOrite gate.
"A lager-beer sign in New York reads,
"Five Hundred Men Wanted-With Five
Gents Capitalize Unload Schooners.
1t is suggested that the police might
save some broken limbs and much profanity
by kicking banana'skins off the sidewalks.
"A stifiy iy-starched shirt-collar, with jag
ged edges. will make man sit down and
wonder how many flights it is to the other
world.
1T cannot be too generally known that
if a man spends his money like water, he Is
certain, sooner or later, to get in liquida-
ton.
-Ulsters for ladies are distinguished by
buttons about the size of an ordinary soup
plate, and by the most pronounced style of
pockets.
81 have got so in the habit of being mar
ried by an Episcopal clergyman that really
don't feel satisfied with any other kind"
said frequent widower.
The New York Times thinks the high
price charged for wines at hotels, being
about one hundred per cent, profit, is the
cause of the small consumption.
"Ma, lend me pencil want to draw
some ladies'" "Draw some ladies! Why,
Johnny, this is Sunday" Well, I'll draw
them in their Sunday clothes"
- Young Actress-"Yo ou have no idea, my
dear, of the progress am making. Last
night acted Lady Macbeth" Old Actress
r Are you sure you did ?"
"A surgeon.major troubled with the
} spleen remarks, in a melancholy tone.
Every thing annoys me. l no longer feel
any pleasure in amputating limb"
AN English girl (who ought to bs
American), after being presented at court,
describes it as "very awful" and declares
7 one galop is worth ten "drawing-rooms.
The Cleaveland Voice makes this re-
: ply to a scientific inquirer "You are
9 wrong trichn@ do not infect pig. iron
: you can continue to eat the latter with i'm.
punity."
Time twelve O'Clock. She-"George
did you exhibit at the dog show?" He-"No;
why" &e-"O. nothing only you are
e such remarkably fine "setter." Exit
e young man.
"A young lady ate half wedding-ca
and then tried to dream of her future hus
q band. Now she says that she would rather
= die than marry the man she saw in that
dream.
In the Connecticut River valley the
farmers are returning to tobacco again, and
= there, as in some other parts of the State,
: the acreage of that crop will be unusually
IS large.
}. There are said to be seventy cigar fac
tories in Florida, all making imported Hav
ana cigars, which are considered very fine
for smokers, who think they are getting
smugged article.
An English Judge, who has continued
his observations on the bench for twent,
q years or more, says the defendants in breach
n of promise cases have very rarely well-devol
t. oped f0reheads.
Is The white population of Alaska, whicl
is largely transient, never exceeds two thous
and and the whole number of Indians, in
y cluding the Aleutian Islanders, is not owe
e thirty thousand.
E. The gift chrome business lags, ard
a is now possible to purchase pound of te
et in some localities without being obliged t
"a invest $4.S7 l-2 for frame to encircle tn
" artistic production so smilingly handed t
you by the dealer.
o. "A lamentable mistake was made by
+ girl in st. Louis not long since She ma
I'd ried man under the impression that
I'd was her fathers coachman, and turned on
"a to be Mexican nobeman. She pronounce
'' him shining fraud, and wants divorce,
o, When Jonny was questioned as to VIII
~ his engagement with Miss II. had bee
Dh broken oil he rolled his eyes looked yer