The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1879-05-23
BILL ARP's CHAT.
His Family Preparing to Receive AN
Influx of City Cousins.

His Family Preparing to Receive an
Influx of City Cousins.
ATLANTA constitutional
Its thrillin time when a country
family have invited their city cousins
to visit em, and are fixin up to receive
EN- in a hospitable manner. My wife,
Mrs. Arp, she were not at home, and
so the girls took matters in charge and
for several days the exciting episode
went on. 1t was like clearing the deck
of a man-of-war for fight. The house
has been secured, and scrubbed, and
sandpapered. Everything in it has
been taken down and put up again,
and moved to u new place, and can't
find anything now when 1 want 1t.
The old, faded carpets have been taken
up and beaten, and patched all over,
and curtailed and put down again.
They get smaller and smaller, which
thew say is good way to wear EN- out
without taking cold. The furniture
has been freshly vanished with ker-
osene oil, the window glass washed on
both sides, and the knives and forks,
water buckets, wash pans, and shovel
and tongs frightened up. The hearths
have been painted with Spanish brown,
the soiled clustering whitewashed, the
family portraits busted, and the pewter
teapot and plated castors and spoons
and napkin-rings polished as fine as Il
jewelry store.
I surveyed the operations from day
to day with affectiOnate interest, for it
does me good to see young people work
diligently in a meritorious cause; never
theless my routine of daily life appears
to be somewhat demoralized. On the
first day our humble dinner was dis
pensed with and me and the boys in-
vited to lunch on bread and sorghum
at a side table. The next day we were
allowed to lunch in the back piazzer
for fear we would mess up the dining
room, and the next we were confined
to the watershed to keep us from mess
ing up the PLAYER, and after that 1
meekly prepared myself to be showed
out of doors on a plank, but we
wasent. I've been doing some more
work on the front yard to surprise
Mrs. Arp when she comes, but they've
locked tho front door to keep us from
trampin through the hall, and we have
to go round about q hundred yards for
Il drink of water. This is all correct 1
reckon, for there's no malacc in it, and
they praise up our terraces so gushing
ly I've mind to keep on with en-
down into the public road and cascade
that to the branch.
Delicate hints have becn given that
it amt polite to set down to dinner
with ones coat off, or to drink coffee
out of n saucer, or cat hominy with a
knife, or smoke in the parlor. The
wash bowl has been turned upside
down to keep us from using it. With
this side up it holds about pint and a
half, and as l was washing my face
with tie tips of my fingers they sur
veycl mo with looks of unuterable des-
pair. When raise my Workin boots
ON the banister rail for an evening rest
they wipe it OFF with wet rag as soon
as leave. musent step ON the purity
red hearth to make up a fire, or put a
back log on that weighs so pounds.
They've put pillows on my bed about
half as big as a balo of cotton and
fringed all around like petticoat.
They are to stay on in day time and
be taken off at night. When I'm tired
and feel the need of Il midday nap,
that bed was comfort, but the best
can do now is to sit up in chair and
nod. The dogs don't understand the
new system at all. Old Bows has been
in the PLAYER for IL years, and it docs
seem impossible to break him of it in
sudden though dogmatic manner.
Broom handles and iishing-poles move
EN- out at one door, but they slip in at
another. They'll enter an appeal when
Mrs. Arp comes home. I'm waiting
patiently for her advent myself, but
I'm going to conform to the new order
just as long as l can in reason. She'd
take care of me and restore my ancient
privileges. She never would allow
anybody to regulate mc but her
self, company or no company Shes
over stayed her time two days
trying to decide what to buy with
two dollars and II half. Poor thin. I!
l wish She had Il hundred. Id follcr
her about from store to store all day
long. Then she wouldcnt buy nothing
for herself but IL pair of specks, and she'd
buy them ON tho sly, for she don't
want it generally understood she has
to use en- l woke up one night about
midnight and discovered her sitting
by the fire with my glasses on II reading
Molly Brown. I'm revelin now at her
delight, when she sees all the i'm
proVemcnts that we have made in her
long absence for it seems like she has
been off to Europe, or Jerusalem, or
the Sucz Canal. We've turfcd all the
terraces with blue grass sod. They run
round in the form of Il snake with two
1