The Russellville Democrat., 1879-11-20

 l She sits beneath the garden thatch, reading tha work of Bunyan's;
 september breezes gently waft the incense from tho vaions;
 Her fatner pulleth up the bulbs so charged with A caterpillar steals a march" upon my lady fair.
 -.Syeubenrille Press. THANKSGIVING TURKEY. ing towards any object he beholds giv- ing thanks. Why it will be but short time when he win be ready to knock the stufiing out of Thansgiving turkey Whitehall Times.
 FOUND AT LAST.
 4 new use has been found for mary q youths head-piece, the utility of which had heretofore been questionable. It is discovered that such young mems heads are primarily intended to keep the neck tie from slipping off.-McG Gregor Ne,rs.
 TWO HALVES.
 A story in an exchange is entitled "In Two Halves" Will the author kindly inform suffering public, bllndly grop- ing about in the misty avenues of ignor- ance, in how many more halves 1t would have been possible to have had the story? --'Sotem Sunbeam.
 THAT DOWNWARD PLUNGE.
 Did you ever notice the downward plunge of young lady's jaw when she gives utterance to one of the lands" that serves as convenient resting-places in her speech while awaiting the brains catching up with the tongue?-B Boston Tiunscript.
 PLAIN CASE.
 When a young man comes slipping around the corner toward the preachers house with an able bodied young woman close behind him, and asks in hesitat- ing ashamed-of-himself sort of way if the parsons in, it isn't necessary to write a column article to explain what the young man wants with the mlnister.- iStpbenriUe Herald.
 BLOODY DUEL.
 Two women at Union, Tenn, had a duel in regular man style. They both fired at the word, and one hit boy who was climbing over the fence with wa termelon, and the other hit calf in the field. Both having drawn blood, they acknowledged that they had received atisfaction.-Peck's Milwaukec Sun
 A CINCINNATI BOY.
 A little Cincinnati boy, four years old, taken into the country for the first time, was astonished at everything, particu- larly at finding blackberries "tied onto sticks out doors" as he expressed it. In pasture he saw cows reclining in the shade chewing their cuds. After observ- ing them for time he said he would like to be COW, land have nothing 10 do but lay around under the trees and chew gum!"-'Saturday Night.
 TUNNELS ARE DORIS.
 The train had just emerged from tunnel, and vinegar-faced maiden Of thirty summers remarked to her com panion, Tunnels are such boresw which nobody can deny. But young lady of about eighteen, who sat in seat imme- diately in front of the ancient party, ad- iusted her hat, brushed her frizzes back, and said to the perfumed young man be- side her, "I think tunnels are awfully nicew-Norristo,c Herold.
 wHo's RUNNING THIS COUNTRY?
 "Who," shrieks an exchange, lis run ing this country?" Now, don't get ex- cited about it. Keep cool and preserve your equanimity. We are running it. We all do the work after office hours. and it doesn't cost the government a cent. We intend to keep the matter profound secret, but when an editor gets up on his hind legs and howls, "Whos'e running this government" it is time to speak out.-Norristoum Her ald.
 LOST HER VOICE.
 The daughter of an Arkansas gentle man reached the age of twenty-two years without having a beau, although she tried hard to capture one. A month ago she suddenly lost her voice, and now a dozen young men in the neighborhood want to marry her. (0fcourse this is a libel on the sex. No man would marry a woman who has lost her voice. How could she call him in the morning after making the fire and getting the break fast ready )-Norristo,e Herald.