Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-03-20

'.Manma,' said a little IloJ
who had been sent to dry Il tow
el before the fire, SIS it done
when it's brown?1
Twenty tranps had a fight in
Philadelphia, and to the deep K :
1gret of the entire community
nineteen of them came out alive.
In the South the boys can go
in swimming two months earlier
than can the Juveniles of the
North. This is another South-
ern Outrage.
Twins have occurred fifty-six
times in Ohio within the past
year, and there are still vacancies
for Ohio men under the, Hayes
administration.
A one-legged man can never
experience the thrill Of pleasure
which permeates every fibre of
the being of the fellow who
scratches one foot with the other.
When a man owes a debt aud
refuses to pay more than half
of it, he calls the arrangementa
compromise with his creditors.
The creditors call it a swindle.
Green peas, Strawberries, new
lettuce, beets and orangesis what
they feed invaIids and healthy
folks on in Florida about this
time. SIS
The Immaculate purity of pol
itics is Indicated in the Buffalo
Express by the modern motto
of office-holders, "United We
steal, divided VIC can't"
Says Giles, eMy wife and I
are two, yet faith I know not
why, sirl" Quoth Jack, "You're
ten, if / think true-she's one
and you're cipher"
A Chattanooga boy who was
one of jury who failed to COM
vict for want of evidence, ex-
planned to his brethren that the
eulprit was''reIeased ons'picion."
"You see" said Col. FIipem,
II didn't marry the girl because
size turned ont a deceiyer.h
"Yes," said a bystander, ~thc
decciyer she turned out was
Col. Flipcm."
Mother TO her child-Now,
then, Arthur, do try and eat
your broth. Arthur-I can't.
Mother-Nonsense. One can
do anything one wants to do.
Arlhur-Well, then, | don't
want TO.
A member of the Legislature
of Kansas has been cheered by
the reception Of il small coffin,
Inscribed, "From the people you
mi,represcnt. Go bury your
self"
The wives of fifteen Of the
present Diplomatic orps in
Washington are American girls.
This shows how American IN
dustry is running out foreign
goods.
"l'llsee you later" saysSmyth-
ekins to his wife, as he started
for his lodge. "And not much
later either, if you know when
you're well Off" answered she.
omythekins was home at 10.
Adolph to Araminta on their
way to church: '.FIow | would l
were the praycr-book Won clasp
50 lovingly Reply-~IIow l
would you were, for then / could
shut you up"
a retort eourteous-New par
or maid: Here's a letter, ma am,
f you please" New mistress:
Tray, Mary, are you not accus-
-omed to see letters handed on a
-ray?' New parlor maid: Yes,
na'am. But ]. .diddn't know you
vas"
"Beg pardon, sir! But I've
just caught these two young
'ascals making a slide IN front
If yonr doorstep, and they say
Is you gave 'em permission"
'It's quite correct; | did, police
nan. The fact is, | expect my
nother-in-laE to luncheon
The story is that Colonel E.
han Allen was greatly taken a.
1lck one day while in a self
yratHlatory mood he observed
hat there were neyerscven other
uch born Of a woman as he and
us six brothers. "You are mis-
aken,'.. said a Scottish officer,
Who was standing by, "Mary
Hagdalene was delivered Of sew
N exactly like YOU"
As an Illustration Of the Gus
ON of carrying six-shooters in
western Texas, the Dallas Her
Id relates the following: ~Ata
,sptizing there a short time since
If fourteen persons, fifteen revol-
rers were drawn out and laid ON