The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1879-12-07

butler and expressed surprise at such mesdaia"ce.
the wit reped:-"Ah but you must remember that
1t was late in the game at nine we don't count
honors you know"
The harmony of married life depends almost en-
tircy upon dinners 1t is not the state of the heart
SO much as the condition of the stomach which
makes q man happy. 1t is better for a woman
rank heresy. we know-to be able to make
cheerful home than to talk Greek. Before
marriage the ability to sing divinely and
to play impossible music are very attractive;
but when two people settle down to the steady work
of loving each other for forty fifty years the
kitchen inevitably emphasizes ITSELF and the chances
OF success are greater with comey housewife than
with an accomplished beauty. who knows every
thing except how to make the house attractive. The
domestic consequences apt to be fearful when
wife knows SO much that
She can tell the great uncle of Moses,
And the dates of the Wars of the Roses.
And the reason of things-why tho Indians wear
In their red. aboriginal noses
But doesn't know chicken from turkey.
Deaf people sometimes hit strange truths.
| The other day young damsel was addressing
| pous old gentleman who was deaf that. as
| Hood says. he couidn't hear anything, even il
earwg had carried in the news. aud she happened to
| say Of tho minister that he was just married.
'Ias he got 1t bad?" shouted the listener. who had
do but to shake the head negatively. but the pious
| man continued. 1.-THE ways of Providence very
| peculiar arn'r they?" This time there
affirmative shake Of tho head. At last the old gen.
man asked again. do you think he will
| cover? Tell him when you him how sorry
am. will your 1t was afterward discovered that he
thought the new minister had caught foyer. and
| his comments were made accordingly.
| When Francis Parkman wrote IN essay on
Di,hk Tor 1or
american he committed blunder for which he has
| doubtless been thousand times sorry. We have
q small boy throw stones ut . wasps nest until
at last he unluckily hit it, The whole colony of in
sects issued forth. and in an inconceivably short
space Of time convinced that boy that he had made
mistake His mothers slipper even when most
| vigorously applied, the very luxury of hap
| piness in comparison with the punishment
they indicted. Mr.. Parkman has been throw
| ing stones. too. and from the general up
we judge that he must have hit something.
In these enlightened days it is an objectionable sin
| for man to say that woman is q woman. and that
che votes inevitably the 'prettiest man. rather
| than for the most fit. He must have been tired of
| life and anxious for sudden ana violent death
| when he said that every feminine sovereign has
sulled her reign by some unwomanly act. for Lucy
! Stone and Susan B. Anthony ready to prove be-
You'd peradventure that IL they could only be
elected President and Vice President the Republic
would resemble paradise reganed In less than TWEEN
| ty-four hours. Somehow the men can't be
| vinced and these estimable ladies doomed to
| blush unseen and waste their sweetness ON the
| desert air.
ia man can't have downright friend. the next
best thing Is o downright enemy. Friend enemy,
however, it Is important to know just where your
| acquaintances stand. We have o great deal Of
! sympathy with the Western hunter who observed"
that the ratlesnake is squar honest reptyle. that
| let's you know when he means to resoom business,
and gives you time to step back" There SO
many so-called friends who love your pocketbook
and your influence and who will certainly leave you
when these depart that there is peculiar satisfac-
| ton in knowing Of gven person that he is a
"squar, honest reptyle."
man is oftentimes willing to recommend RENE
dies to his neighbors which he would be very slow
| 20 take himself. The best proof you can offer of
the yaluo either Of medicine q religion is that
you have tried 1t. When q man appeared before
! Bismarck, some years ago. with an armor
which he said was bullet proof. tho states
man inquired, 'Are you sure?" "Oh. yes
| perfectly sure" the reply. 'You may
let one of your soldiers try it," No. have better
plan than that" said the shrewd politician. "Put
it on yoursclf and do you. turning to lieutenant
who was in the room. take him down to the bar
-
is killed don't want his armor; IL he isn't I'll
port the matter to His Majesty" The inventor was
SO pressed for time that he couldn't possibly COM
ply. and the armor is still seeking purchaser.
IMMACULATE CONCEPTION JUBILEE.
VALUE OF THE FAMOUS OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
TO DE GAINED DY THE FArTHFUL-sr. FRANCIS
xAvIER's FESTIVAL.
Ten years ago, dating from tomorrow, the Ecu
menical Council in Rome convened in the Vatican
to declare to the Catholic world that the Pope
infallible. Twenty 1--we years ago tomorrow that
same Pope not then. Of course. infallible. promu-
gated the doctrine of the Immaculate Conception Of
her who, the Frecmdn's Journal says. 1.-THE
beginning OF the creation Of God" whereby
men may become truly the Of God. These two
important events falling this year the same day,
December 8, will be appropriately observed in all
tho Roman Catholic churches of this and other
lands Tho day will be holy day of obligation for
o. the decree of tho Sacred Congregation OF Indul-
gcnces and Relics declares. the immaculate Conccp
ton dogma "flled the whole Christian world with
ineffablc 10y. Hence the desire of tho faithful to
celebrate the day with moro solemn devotion is a
natural and iaudablo one. Many bishops of
Ing Pontif to grant induigences on this
occasion he has ordained that all the
octave, being truly ponicnt and after and
communion, shall devoutly visit a church or pub
lie chapel, anil there pously pray according to the
intention of the Pope. plcnary indulgence will lie
granted, to be obtained within tho time speci-
hed and to be applicable by way of suffrage to the
souls of the departed This decree is to be held
valid without any expedition of brief, all things to
tho contrary notwithstanding.
In other lands. where Catholic faith and life is Of
secular tradition, well here, the day, and in
decd the week. will be celebrated by communions.
novenas triduums. HASTINGS. &C., and in many OF the
more faithful countries and cities. churches and
other Catholic edihccs. public places and private
houses will be illuminated in honor of this dogma.
Where the civil authorities not interfere religious
professions march the streets with banners and
music and chants the eve OF the festival, which
this year Ia sunday. we'll as the festival day.
Wherever in this country societies or companies
eau do IL together the Freemons Journal
special prayers and aims TO be offered, fcasts oh.
served, shrines visited and decorated with burning
tapcrs and flowers.
ST. FRANCIS xAvrER's FESTIVAL.
Following this, on Wednesday next Tho feast OF
st. Francis Xavier will be celebrated in New York
and Brooklyn ana no doubt in other cities also