Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-01-24
WANTED. A PRIVATE TUTOR.

Nv name is Mellow. I am not a youns
man. | used to think, q long while ago
that I had arrived at years OF dlscre
ton: but recent events have led me tc
entertain some doubts upon the subject
am 4 widower. Mrs. Mellow was I'm.
doubtedly my better half in every way;
or, say three-quarters; always felt
that; and am now more convinced OF
ii than ever. When / lost her thought
| could not do better than to receive her
sister, Miss Critic, into my house, to
take the management Of my home and
family. Miss Critic thought SO too.
Indeed, now consider about it, she set
tied the question herself by giving up
her preparatory establishment for
young gentlemen, and sending Il van
load OF personal property, including Il
pair of globes, a cat, and a vase of gold
lish, to my house almost before knew
where was, or rather where she was.
Miss Critic is All excellent woman; but
singular in her opinions, and angular,
all corners Speaking metaphorically, Of
course), and fond of having her own
way, which | am bound TO admit is Il
very straightforward one have rea-
son to be grateful to her, ON the whole,
for the kind interest she takes in my
affairs generally, and especially for her
care Of my three chlldren-George,
aged twelve; Tom, aged eleven; and the
baby, as everybody calls HIM STILL aged
four.
The two boys returned home last
Christmas for the holidays, us usual,
and the very next day Miss Critic be-
gan with me, after dinner, upon her
usual theme.
" Really, my dear john" she said,
always anticipate something unplcas-
ant when she calls me john instead
of Mr.. Mellow; and" My dear john"
Is even more portentious, -" really, my
dear john" She said, cit is time some
thing was done about these poor dear
boys. | have been examining them this
morning, and find they know nothing
absolutely nothing"
Examined them already?' / eX-
claimed. why, the poor lads only
came home yesterday. | would have
given them few days holiday first, ]
think"
"'They know nothing, she continued,
without needing my remonstrance. . |
did not expect great deal, but con-
Tess | was astonished. Their progress
backward is moro marked than could
have supposed possible after the pains
. took with them last holidays. They
have forgotten all ! taught them and
learnt nothing at school. Now don't be
impatient. HI Just give you All exam
4 pie or two, and then you Will be salts
fed. ! vas Questioning Tom in the ru-
dinents of history only the rudiments.
| asked him what he knew about King
Richard LII. All he could say was that
he was Il hunchback, and very fond Of
horses; he had seen u picture Of him
i offering to swop his kingdom (such
an expression) with anybody tor a
horse. When | urged him for some
further particulars of his history, he
added, with great deal of hesitation
and shyness, that he was killed by a
tish-bone sticking in his throat, and
brought back to life again by barber
who extracted it; pulled il out he
said"
Every good" / exclaimed, laughing
j suppose he thought one hunchback
was as good as another
+ My dear John" said Miss Critic,
sternly, lit is not laughing matter. /
wish you could see things as do. And
George is not bit better. He went so
far rs to deny that Richard Ill. was a
hunchback at all; and it was vulgar
error, he said, to suppose so. On the
contrary, he was rather a good-looklng
man, with kind ana forgiving dispo-
sition, and had made some excellent
laws for the country. He displayed
equal ignorance about the history of
Rome; lie absolutely denied that ROM
ulus and Remus were sucked by a
wolf! Vulgar errors, indeed! Truths
which ! have been intoxicating for years
past. until gave up my preparatory
establishn ent for young gentlemen to
come and take charge of your house.
How YOU can smile at such n state OF
things can't conceive. The boys re-
quire grounding, and it is quite time
.ome measures were adopted for their
education, which, as ] have told you,
mas yet to be begun
eve must see about it" / replied.
"That's what you always say; and
then nothing is done.
"What do you propose, them !
asked.
"Keep the boys At home year or
two, and havethem thoroughly ground
ed"
81 could not remove them from
school withouta quarters notice, you
know"
''There need be no difficulty about
that. wrote to Mrs. Mil three months
ago, and told her that ] should most
likely have the boys at home to ground
after Christmas, and begged her to
mention il to Mr.. Millin the way VI no
ice"
rYou did, exclaimed, very
much annoyed, as dane say she could
see.
rWhy, yes; the fact il, that when |
gave up my own establishment 70 come
here ii was with view To icing OF ser
vice to my poor sisters children. DO
not think could have been induced to
B sacrifice NV own engagements and