The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-09-05
ALL SORTS.

l
Il nebber breaks a colt .afore he's old enough to
I nebber digs me taters till days plenty big to
An when you sees me rsin' mp 70 'stFuetify in
Is fust .c1mb up de knowledge tree and done
some apple-eatiua i
When mans temper gets the best Of
him. it reveals the worst of him. - Yon-
keys Gazette.
The meanest man we know Of Is the
man who sued another for tearing an ex
pensive lace collar, while rescuing the
former little son. from drowning. - White
hall Times.
The New Orleans Pfcayune is authority
for the statement that David DAVIS is very
fond of resting in hammock. which, for
safety must always be placed on the
ground.
Don't be afraid to praise your servants
when they deserve it," remarks an ex-
change. but the minute husband tries
that on the hired girl she has to hunt for
another situation.-Detroit Free Press.
A Boston dispatch says that Butler has
arrived in his yacht America. He came
| unheralded, and it is supposed that the
4
| night-clothes,- - Cincinnati Commercial.
The best material for church is canvas
We saw number of men at the circus, last
Saturday, keep wide-awake during the
two hours performance, who can't possibly
keep their eyes open 10 church five min
utes after the sermon begins Whitehall
Times.
l And now sixteen or seventeen new stars
and comets have been discovered. If this
thing isn't stopped pretty soon, the young
couple who succeed in finding that particu-
lar star by hall-past ten won't be able te
get home before midnight. Give the child.
req rest .-Boston Post.
John Bull and Brother Jonathan.
lon the plains of New Jersey one hot summer
Two Englishmen snug in stage-coach sa
A Yankee, who happened to t.avel that way,
| Took seat alongside, and sat wondering ant
gaping.
Chock full of importance, like every true Britou
Who knows British stars far outshine our poo
Luna,
These Cockneys found nothing their optics coult
fl But what was in,ipid or miserably puny
Compared with;the English our horses were colt:
| Our oxen were calves, and sheep but lamb
Ard as for the people, poor pitiful dolts,
II ere Hottentot children consrasted with then
t Just then a. black cloud in the West was ascend
The iightning flashed frequent with horrio'
Whea near and morsi near, a fierce tempest poi
tending,
p An oak by the wayside Jovos belt made das
: with peal that knocked horses and cockneys a
There, blast yOu," cried Jonathan, quite in PEI
{ Have you got better thunder in England tina
o thaiY'
Quick Retribntion.
Three Nihilists, con 3Emned to Siberia
= exile, wished to marry, and fixed upo
5 three girls of their political persuasion
| who agreed to espouSe aud follow them I
: the place of Punishment. Marriages {
this kind are tolerated by the laws oil Ru'
II STA, and the three conVicts were welded
but their sentence of Punishment was in
: mediately changed into one of solitar
confinement 10 the central prison of S
o Petersburg Upon learning this the
wives sought and obtained audience
IS Nabokow, the minister of justice, whoI
they entreated to reverse the last deere
and to send their husbands, as at fir
n determined, to Siberia, whittier they coul
. accompany them. Nabokow replied thu
he could not assume the responsibility {
:. ALTERING the modified sentence, and refer
!. ed the three women to Mesenzew, the chit
of the third section" or secret police. I
Mesenzew. therefore. they applied; but /
% angrily rejected their petition, AS soc
as this decision of MesenzeW was mac
! known in Nihilistic circles he was at one
" condemned to die as the most invetera
and dangerous enemy of "the cause" az
n three days later be persisted by the han
NJ OF an assassin.
Young ladies who 60 on excursion
s. should never allow themselves to take M
s, in the presence Of their escorts. A sleel
" ing girl is not always a beauty, .particula
d. lyIif her mouth is wide open. Besides, son
girls snore. and that is a giye-way that d
or stroys all the love and romance that CT
ct inhabit the most impassioned young ma
E. The People.
E. what is cheek?" asks an innoce
youth. We might tell him that it is Il
er principal stock 10 trade of an advertiser
III agent, if that would convey to him Il
BY fullness OF definition which to US it sigr
g. 6es. We have had one advertising age
OF offer US $35, ''less the usual commission
for advertising, the first cost of which to
IN would not be less than $l00.-Ronee Sc
u tinel.
d. When the batteries at Montretout we
g Smelling the Communists in Paris.
- Theirs frequented the spot, encooragi
" the sailors that named them. AS he "
H. talking there one evening the thunder OF
, big gun fred just beside him made hi
w jump. The commander spologized al
III said, This noise must annoy you" IN
at all" replied M. Theirs; ''it's rath
soothing compared with the Assembly d
10 bates"