Weekly Trinity journal., 1879-10-04
IAN INTERVIEW" :"

IAN INTERVIEW"
As was coming out of the San Fran
cisco Post Office one morning in the year
1885,, tall, dark-skinned man placed
himself in front of me, and fixing his in
tensely gittering eyes upon ME, said in an
excited tone:
"Sir, can you give me a half-hour Of
your time this morning ?"
"Yes," i replied, "if l can be of any
service to you by so doing"
mot here, but in your Office private
ly," he continued. Il must speak to
somebody, and having heard you preach
In .he church on Pine street, felt that
could approach you. ] am in great
trouble aud danger, and must speak TO
some one ~
His manner was excited, his hand
trembled and his eye had an insane
CLEAN as he spoke. We walked in
silence until we reached my Office on
Montgomery street. After entering ]
laid down my letters and papers, and
was about to offer him chair, when he
hurriedy locked the door on the inside,
saying as he did so
"This conversation is 10 be private. and
! do not intend to be interrupted
As he turned toward me saw that he
had pistol in his hand, which he laid on
the desk, and then sat down. | waited
for him to speak, eyeing him and the pis-
tol closely, and feeling a little uncomtort
able, locked IN thus with n madman OF
almost giant-llSe size and strength. The
pistol had sinister look that had never
before recognized in that popular weapon.
1t seemed to grow bigger and bigger.
"Have you ever been haunted by the
idea of suicide ?" lie asked abruptly, his
eyes glaring Upon me as he spoke.
mo, not particularly" answered i,
"but why do you ask ?"
"Because the idea is haunting mo-" he
said in an agitated tone. rising from his
chair as he spoke. II have lain for two
nights with cooked pistol in my hand,
calculating the value of my life. !
bought this pistol to shoot myself with,
and ! wonder that / have not done il !;
but something has held me back"
"Wbat has put the idea OF suicide into
your mind ?" j inquired.
my life's failure, sir !. and there is
nothing else left for such fool as / have
been," he said, bitterly. "When man
has no hope left he should die"
l was making some reply, when he
broke in:
"Hear my history, and then tell me If
death is not the only thing left for me, "
laying his hand upon the pistol as he
spoke.
When he told me lis name / recogniz-
ed il rs that of a genius, whose contribu-
tions to n certain popular periodical had
given him wide fame in the world of
letters. He was the son of venerable
old New England bishop, and a graduate
of Harvard University. / will give his
story in bis own words, as nearly as l
can
"In 1850 ! started for California with
honorable purpose and high ambition.
Ny father being n clergyman, and poor,
and greatly advanced in years, felt that
it was my duty to make provisions FOR
him and for the family circle to which /
l.. - s.h al, i i
Animated by this purpose, ! was fall of
hope and energy. On the ship that took
me to California / made the acquaintance
and fell into the snares of beautiful but
unprncipled woman, FOR whom l toiled
and sacrificed everything for eight years
of weakness and folly, never renting IL
dollar to those had intended to provide
for at home, carrying all the while an un-
easy conscience ard despising myself. l
made immense sums of money, but it all
went for nothing but to feed the extrava-
gance and recklessness of my evil geni-
US. Tortured by remorse, / made many
struggles TO free myself from the evil
connection that blighted my life. but in
vain. / had almost ceased to struggle
against my fate, when death lifted the
shadow from my path. The unhappy
woman died, and l was free. | was ms.
tonished To find how rapid and how com
plete was the reaction from my despair
felt like new man. The glowing hope.
that had hann epaothoroJ rou;,,1 ,,l I
felt something of the buoyancy and ener
gy with which ] had left my New Eng
land hills. worked hard and prospered
made money and saved it, making occa
sional remittances to the family at home
who we're Overjoyed to hear from me afte
so long and guilty silence. | hadn't Tia
heart to write TO them while pursuing m,
evil life.
81 had learned to gamble OF course, bu
now ! resolved to quit it. For two year
kept this resolution, and hnd in tn,
meantime saved over $4,000. Do you be
lleve that the devil tempts men +? | tel
you, sir, it is true ! began to feel i
strange desire to visit my old haunts
This feeling became intense; ever master
ing. My judgment and conscience pro
tested, but felt like one under spell.
yielded, and found my way to a wei
known gambling hell, where / lost ever,
dollar OF my money. 1t was like dream
i seemed to be drawn on to my ruin By
some invisible but resistless power. Wher
] had lost all, strange cain came owe,
me. which l had never understood. II
may have been the reaction, after nigh
of ieverish excitement. or possibly it WA,
tho unnatural calm that follows the deatl
ofbope. My self Eeontempt was complete