davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-01-03

you're over.-Boaon Post. Hans says,
"I'll do Vatican to see him. 81. Adams
Adr. Now don't make this Campagna
iokes.-Post If they do Caesar chance
and go Forum.
Rising at three o'clock Christmas
morning, the Hon. Robert Ingersoll,
after inspecting his stocking, remarked
impresslvely, 1T is as | said. By Jove,
there isntany. Bufitlo Express.
Mrs. T. says she is much disinfected
with her new residence caparisoned
with her old one, which was on the
road to a populous symmetry, where
she was enlivened sometimes by seeing
dozen funerals day.
81 don't do this business for profit"
SAID barber, when asked how he could
afford to shave man for cents. 81
merely carry it on because love to see
the dying struggles ola man while he y
being talked to death.
We see that man in Connecticut
was killed the other day while trying
tc board a freight train" There is
reason in all these things. No doubt
when the man took the freight train to
board, he gave it salaratus biscuit, rye
coffee, and strong butter for breakfast,
and tough mutton three times week
for dinner, till in fit Of dyspepsia the
freight-traln rose up and killed him.
The man who bet that nc could
make circular saw in five minutes
had a dozen persons standing round to
see him do it with only piece of chalk.
He commenced by chalking ring on
the wall. 'Do you all see that circle?"
Certainly yes, yes; but what has that
to do with it?' "Now, said the illustra-
tor, making q square, do you see that
square, Eyes, yes, all right; we see
it," "Well, gentlemen, this is the
square you see, and that pointing to
the chalk ring) is the circle-you saw"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-01-03
Too Old For Them.
Detroit Free Press

The other day, a man with Il satchel
called into ferry-dock saloon wherein
fifteen or twenty old salts were lying
about their adventures on the high
seas, and after warming his hands at
the stove he said to the bar-keeper:
Sir, | am the agent of Il French
wine house, and | should like to sell
you few barrels of brand now over
100 years Old"
The saloonist thought he wouldn't in
vest, and the man took pint pottle
from his satchel, held il up to the light,
and looking around on the crowd. re-
marked:
Gentlemen, this is sample Of wine
over 100 years old. | have no doubt
that you will all do me the honor to
taste it.
A perfect shower of guilds and half
consumed cigars iell on the big stove
hearth, and the crowd had its mouth all
ready when the agent scrutinized the
bottle and said;
"Well, | am mistaken. | left the
wine at the hotel, and brought along
my hair invigorator in place of it,
Gentlemen, please remain seated while
| go and fetch the old wine"
At the end of long hour he had not
returned, and one of the victims slowly
arose and said:
Gentlemen, YOU hear me! If
meet that man on the street | will kill
him and drink his hair inyigorator to
the last drop"
"soll II shouted AL the others, and
they opened their tobacco-boxes and
went on with their lying
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-01-03

haustive form and at another time the
deaths are largely from the obstruction
to the air-passages.
"What is the best plan OF treatment
in your opinion"
81 work upon the principle that the
diphtheritic membrane is the result OF
very low grade of inflammation, and
that when higher degree Of inflammation
il set up around about the diphtheritic
patches those patches are prevented
from extending. This is found TO be
the fact in practice. ] endeayor, there
fore, to excite this higher degree of in
fiamatlon, and do this by causing the
the patient to inhale large quantities OF
the steam Of pure water. Then, OF
course, use local antiseptics, such rs
chlorate Of potash, and for constitutions
al trouble ] give iron and the most
nourishlng food. Quinine do not use
much, Ms that is most valuable when
there il Il high temperature, and that IS
seldom found in diphtheria."
Inquiries at drug stores where many
prescriptions are prepared showed that
sulphur is never used as II remedy IN
diphtheria excepting in u lew cases
where it is burned in the rooms OF
patients suffering from the disease. The
records Of the board Of health show
that diphtheria is less prevalent in this
city at present than il was during q
corresponding period last year. For
the two weeks ending December 10,
1877, there were reported III cases OF
diphtheria, Of which AZ died. For the
two weeks ending December ii Of the
present year there were 105 cases, OF
which 40 died.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-01-03

Tie circus has been successfully in-
trodaeed in Bolivia, South America.
All enterprising American invaded the
interior with his tent aud performers,
and for time was treated IS though
he were at the head Of hostile army.
he persevered, however, oyercame the
opposition and prejudiees OF the Be-
llvians, and cleared $4,000.
The Leavenworth weekly times., 1879-05-22
Pari. Newspaper Men

Partisan journalists, says British jour-
nslist, are peculiar race Of men who
write Whist they think, and when they
think little write nonsense. They have no
fear OF editors before their eyes, for they
make their dignity consist in accepting no
editorial retOuches, whatever TO their arti-
cles When a Frenchman finds that he is
"getting too big" for his particular journal
and ia making its columns crack by its
excessive exuberance of the matter which
he puts in them, he starts of and POUNDS
new daily paper of his own. he can al
ways find an accommodating capitalist
ready TO lend him money in return for the
s7cial prestige which the proprietorship OF
a newspaper confers. The bargain between
the pair il summaTily this: "Iou hand
over The funds and ] will supply talent;
you content yourself with being the show
man Of our firm, and | will do the hard
Kidding For the rest, your position as
owner Of the journal will be a grand one,
for you will get play orders for nothing,
and be able to vent your arlmus againt
any enemies you may have in stinging lit
tie paragraphs which | will touch up for
YOU" There are about forty five daily
newspapers in Paris, and they have mostly
been started by brilliant but impecun;ous
i)urn slists who concluded some such treaty
as the above with men of capital-mostly
hanker=, merchants or retired tradesmen.
1t general = happens, after time, that the
journalist snd his financial partner quar-
rel; then the newspaper is put up for sale,
snd the journalist, having become rich in
his turn, buys out the capitalist and de-
vOtes the remainder Of his literary career
to abusing him.
The Leavenworth weekly times., 1879-05-22
4 R.eadyille Restaurant.

Step into The Tontine restaurant at any
hour of the day or evening and you will
see groups of men in twos or threes, sitting
with their chairs drawn close together,
their heads touching, their hands and arms
graspiDg the chairs for support, yet trem-
bling with excitement. and sll conversiug
in eager whispers Now and then they
will glance suddenly and guiliily around
to see if anybody is observing or listening
TO them. One would imagine they were
gangs OF burglars, organizing scheme to
plumber bsnk- But they are not crimi-
nais-at least they are not discussing
crime. Ii you should be interested enough
TO listen 10 their esger conversation, YOU
might catch occasional frsctions of senten-
ces, such as Sure thing, "must strike it."
thirty ounces, fortune ma,ie," etc. These
are the oonspirators, the visionaries, who
are alwsys getting rich, but never acquire
riches See how hard they breathe, how
their eyes sparkle, and how, in their ner.
vousness, they are constantly changing
their attitudes, And they are sharp, too.
They pride themselves upon knowing SO
much more than anybody else about the
prospects of Leadviile-upon being on the
inside of things, as it were. Ard they are
not scrupulous, either. Let ore of them
out on Chestnut street alone He sees q
group of capitalists talking on a corner.
How quickly he surmises thst something
Is up" snd with Whist an air OF Indifference
ne backs up to the group, and surveys in
tently some object on the summit CT the
snowy range, Probably he takes out an
eyeslsss and scans the horizon with slI the
appearance OF discerning the We insr signs
OF course he Is not listening TO the s,ran-
gers who are talking behind him. But
whenever by chance he is having a conf
Dental interview with anybody, be is con-
tinually shifting around, as if he expects
will cluck up kernal of his
lore. These are the men Who des-
pera,ely oppose all schemes in which they |
are not themselves interested, and who |
chop down trees, and waylay telegraph
boys to prevent the cousummation ef sales. |
They are characters Of Leadville.
The Leavenworth weekly times., 1879-05-22
4 Welsh Ghost story.

4 strange ghos. story, says the BURNING
ham Gasette comes from the prinoinslity.
There is friendly society at Pontardawe,
in the Ssansea Valley, among whose ruler
il one that the funeral allowance on sc-
cnYIn, of a deceased member shall not be
maid in case Of suicide. One OF the mem
her. recentiy died by his own hand, and
The club accordingly refused to pay the
death money. For the reasonable and
iIst refusal the members are now COM
planning that they are subjected to serious
rerzecutiou from an unseen and presuma-
bly, ghOstly agent The manifestations
began on a recent Sunday, when one Of
the officers, returning home over lonely
road, was ssssiied, a. he asserts, by the
spirit Of the late member, who, failing to
Cb.ain = satisfactory reply 10 his demsnd
for the III pney, in somewhat unspirit-like
ms1e-r sssailing the unfortunate man
and sc'u'lly store his clothes 10 ribbons. 7"
Such, at least, was the account he gave, in
tones Of horror, at the first public house he
came to sitter thi. terrific encounter. But
the ghost does rot appear to have been
sati-fed with this demonstration. On the
following Tuesday evening, while the
members were assembled in the lodge room
the usual knocks were heard as OF brother
seeking admittauce. The door was opened
but no one was TO be seen. The members
however, are all very certain that they
heard the voice of the deceased utter tbs
words: "Psy NV widow my funers
money, and then ! shall be al rest" The
meeting Irecipitately broke up, and th'
members are now puzzled to know what t.
do with such determined deCssse,
brother
The Leavenworth weekly times., 1879-05-22
An English Witch.

The witches are not dead vet. Miss
EJizabeih Clark, who had a habit when
company WAS present of calling one of her
white impes" and playing with it in her
lap, and was executed in England therefor
about one hundred years ego, is brought
sirIsh TO mind by the story of Mrs. Mar
tina, also an English woman and alleged
witch. One of her neigbor-, William Bull
wer, swore the other day in Norfolk court
of Justice as follows: Mrs. Martins is an
old witch, gentlemen-that is what she is-
and she charmed me, and ! get no sleep for
three nights. Ole night at half past eleven
o'clock | got up because | could not sleep
| went out and found walking toad under
a clod that had been dug up by thies-
pronged fork. That was why | could not
rest. Mr.. Martins IL bad old woman
she put this toad there TO charm me, gen.
tlemen" Uamindful OF the incredulity OF
the jury, Bulwer proceeded to testify that
he got No rest until he ''throwed the toad
into 4 pit into the garden" He then
earnestly avowod his belief that, for the
reason given, Mrs. Martins IL not fit to
live" "ro-dsy in English villages" says
so intelligent an authority as the London
Nstrg, "women Of bad temper, and certain
originality of character deliberately give
themselves cut to be witches. They win
some respect and exercise some influence.
Ole woman has at this moment a reputa-
ton for keeping seven little familiar spir-
it,, which leap out of ber mouth, like the
red mouse from the ii!s of the fair witch
in FGusi 4 witch often lowers the rent of
the adj lcent cottages aud demoralizes a
whole neighborhoOd
Il is grave mistake 10 suppose that the
belief in witchcraft has died out in any
country IN the world. 10 one form or
another it prevails where it might lssst
have been expected.
The Leavenworth weekly times., 1879-05-22
The Gar at Hi. summer Palace.

The life of the Gar at Livsdia is very
simple and monotonous. Alexander rises
early, and walks out at S o'clock in the
morning, sitter a cup Of coffee and bis
cult lie used TO drink tea, but now takes
coffee instead, on account OF his nerves,
which are shattered, neither by drinking
nor dissipation, but by the vast amount OF
hard work TO which he has of late years
subjected himself. After his early morn
ing walk be works till II with his sscretsry.
and then comes the dejsuatr "a fts6hette,
or luncheon. He Is extremely moderate in
eating and drinking, SO that y former cook
in the winter palace, now settled in Paris,
declares it was most disheartening to cater
for him, as he was indifferent 10 the choic-
est visnds. The truth il, his health ohliges
him TO live very strictly and in all things
by rule. After luncheon he walks or rides
with one of his younger sons, or drives out
with the Empress, il she is well enough for
the exercise. From 3 TO he retires sgaiu
into his study, when he possibly takes the
siesta which most Russians indulge to en-
able them 10 extend the day at both ends
At Liysdia the court dimes at ) or $50. II
is the lsst meal which the Emperor takes
in the day, and Is seldom prolonged beyond
an hour. At st. Petersburg, in defiance of
medical rules, he often goes TO work direct
ly atterwsrd till 9 o'clock. At Livadis,
however, he generally sits or walks in the
garden, or remains with the Empress till S
O'Clock. He then returns TO his work till
midnight, and sometimes finishes up with
one round of whist
The Leavenworth weekly times., 1879-05-22
.nIn-cnfnus NigI,t E.arnp.

A recent number OF the Paris In Nature
describrs q simple and convenient night
lamp, the invention Of NJ. Behn, indicating
the hour by the extent Of combustion OF
the oil. From the oil reservoir rises two
vertical glass tubes; one contains oil, and
il graduated for the hours; the other con-
tains the WICK saturated with oil, and Civ
ing the light. The construction is such
that one hour is required to consume the
quantity of oil between the two grsdu 'tions
of the fret mentioned tube. A ref 7ctad
placed under the f lme at the side throws a
luminous beam across the graduated tube.
During the night one can thus see at what
height the oil stands in the tube and read
the corresnonding hour
The Leavenworth weekly times., 1879-05-22
K,g,r S.rvan,.ip Natal.

From an Eng iSh woman : Letter.
A few DAYS ago one Of my sisters ksfir
men was very impudent. He was outside
doing s6mething, and when my sister tCld
him TO come in he would not, but stood
staring at her. She called him three or
four times, but he would not come. Then
she told him she would get a whip to him,
when all Of a sudden be bOlted, and my
sister and myself ran after him TO catch
him. caught him by the shirt, and just
as We were going around the cow-shed
(there was very high rose hedge at the
back he pulled from me and was over il
like shot. Then my sister told him she
would send a policeman after him, at which
he was rather frightened, and soon came
back, but would not come in the house.
So my sister ran Up to him, and caught him
by his wool and dragged him up the steps
into the kitchen ard whipped him. lie
snstched the whip from her and tried to
break it. There happened 10 be rolling
pin close at hand, SO Mary took it and gave
him two or three knocks over the head.
Ever since then be has worked wonderfully
well. You would have roared with laugh
ter had You seeu all, ezpscia!l ly seeing US
both running down the garden after him ss
hard as ever We could. and the way Mary
dragged him into the house by his wool
We were all alone at the time, az papa and
nv brothers We're out.
The Leavenworth weekly times., 1879-05-22
| The Pet OF the Eadie~-sharmin& W o.
| men W Vho SAT and Listened 10 COnE,

The Pet OF the i.adie~-s'haruIing W O.
men vho SAT and Listened TO COnL-
ling
Mrs. Kate Chase Sprsgue WAS attired in
a dark purple silk, over which sparkled
Jet orua cents. \ black lace hat with a
scarlet rose perChed iauDtiIy upon her
auburn hair. \ pair Of delicstely lavender
tinted gloves covered her long hand, that
alternately played with black fan and
bunch % fresh, fragrant scarlet and yellow
roses. b. her side sat Conkling's secrets-
nv, red-mustached, active looking young
man, who several times during the speech
ran hastily from his seat in the gallery to
his master below with words of cheer and
greeting. Mrs. Matt Carpenter was in
black, snd her daughter in blue, with
white bounet; Mrs. Blaise in a dark pur-
pie; Gail Hamilton in white bonnet of
hideous shape and taste; Mrs. Cockerell in
a black velvet, a gypsy hat adorned with
yellow da~hes of color; Mrs. Eaton in
black; Mrs. Pepdleton, whose aIistocratic
rale face locked down most earnestly; Mrs.
Window, Mrs. Gen. Logan, whose snappy
eyes never lost single feature of the scene
below, were few of the noticeable faces
in the privileged gallery, that was filled to
overf owing. The crush of silks, laces and
the CAV color. If the spring toilets made
this gallery look like an opera box upon
an opening night. The perfumed and
gay-bedecked crowd, armed with flowers
from the national conservatory, waited
down perfect cloud OF incense and admi-
ration upon the head of the polished actor
and orator, Lord Roscoe. Glasses were
brought TO bear upon him, and the rspt
admiration depleted in this box of fashion
fully .qusIed the profound attention paid
by the crowd OF distinguished jurists, law
makers and prominent people upon the
tinnr of Tie Senate Chinnao Trmes
The Leavenworth weekly times., 1879-05-22
AN iRHY INCIDENT.
How an Officers servant Acted n ihc
-Grand Rounds

-Grand Hounds
Boston Commercial Bui!etin.I
As showing the attachment Of some OF
the military officers servants 10 their mas
ters, will relate an incident which occur
ed IN garrison town IN wnIcn the writer
was stationed for some time. An officer of
rank in the artillery was named in garrison
orders "a the officer Of the day. As the
"grand rounds" it wss his duty to visit the
garrison guards at night Having sat rath-
er late al mess and bring fond of the bottle
his gait was very unsteady when he rose
from the table TO proceed TO his quarters to
dress for duty. Before dressing he threw
himself on the bed saying:
"I'll just snatch half an hours sleep /;
call me at o'clock"
All o'clock the servant attempted to
rouse him, but without effect. The servan.
got the officer upon his feet, shook him, ap-
piled wet clothes to his head. but all 10 no
purpose; the gentleman had been going on
short allowance of sleep for week, and
now nature had taken hold Of him, and,
being backed by the wine he had drunk,
held him fast. The servant was almost
frantic, knowing we'll the consequences
that would ensue il his master did not
make the grand rounds. While wonder
ing what course TO pursue his eyes fell
upon his masters uniform, sword, etc all
ready laid out for him to put on. The
master and servant were about a size; the
clothing of the one fitted the other to per-
fectiou.
There's no other plan" said the servant
to himself; sits an awful risk, bu; I'll at
tempt it."
Hastily throwing off his clothing he
donned his master regimentals spien-
did uniform of the artillery, buckled on the
sword, drew the heavy busby over his
brows, and casting an adn.iring look at
himself in the gllss-notwithstand his
anxiety, locked the door upon his master
snd went out. The orderly was waiting
in the barrack guard room, and turned out
with the guard to present himself.
$50 ahead said the pseudo officer.
(Which guard first, sir? ?"
The magazine guard"
The orderly led the way. Guard after
guard was visited, and the servant began to
enjoy the masquerade. 1t was something
unusual for him TO be announced az grand
rounds, and to have a guard present arms
TO him. There was no suspicion that the
master snd the man had changed places
for the time beirg, although the subsltern
officer in charge of the main guard per-
hspe felt . little rettled to have his |
friendly salutation, after tine guard had |
been turned in, responded to 60 grufiiy.
On returning TO the quarters the servant |
found his m.ster still sleeping. Unable to
resist the temptation to admire himself |
once more in the glass, the servant psraded |
up and down the room casting sIdelong |
elances at the mirror. While 90 doing the |
officer awoke. He was not little surprised |
to see what appeared to be himself strut
ling up and down the apartment. He soon
however, that the appariiion
vas hie servant, and, anxious to know what
lhe unusual masquerade was for, kept |
quiet The servant after two or three turns
Mt down and leisurely drew of the epurred |
bcota, divesasd hinself Of other srticles Of
The Leavenworth weekly times., 1879-05-22
An Eccentric S,a,eSn,,

Some curious anecdotes are told of NJ.
Naulabelle, the historian and e1-MInis,.r
of ls4 who died the other day. Alphonse
karr relates that when he went TO call on
the new Minister of Pablic Instruction he
could find neither a messenger nor a clerk
to announce him. He wandered from room
TO room, and at last strong smell of to
bscco made him suspect tha, the Minister
was not far of. In fact, NJ. Vsulsbelle
was smoking in bed and reading the news
papers On being invited to breakfast, AL
phonse Karr accepted, but remarked tha,
there was no fire in the kitchen. THAT
does not matter replied the Minister !;
my chsrwoman will soon be here, and she
will fetch us some pork chops and s rot aU-
vent" The writer adds that NJ. Naulabelle,
all the time he remained Minister of Pub
lie Instruction, never had at his official
residence anything beyond a pockethand-
kerchief and shirt collar, which his char
woman renewed every morning, with
shirt and stockings twice a week. He used
to say: 81 have been placed here on SEN
try, and l do not wish to have any more
inpediment than soldier on duty having
brought nothing, shall have nothing to
take away when / am relieved.n Under
these circumstances. it is easy to believe
ths story told of friend meeting N. yaul-
ahslls in he ss.est, cazpet-bag in hand, and
The Leavenworth weekly times., 1879-05-22
William Cullen EIrSaEt'~ Religious
Saith

After the death Of William CIllen Bry-
ant questions were often asked respecting
the precise nature Of his religious faith
and il is well known how "Thanaiopsis"
has been called Pagan AID msterialisiic
The Rev. Or. Joseph Alden, of Albany, hss
lust published, through q. 7. Putnam's
Sons, volume entitled Thoughts on the
Religions Life" to which is pretixed an
introduction, written by Mr.. Bryant, that
wa- found at the time OF his death lying on
the table in his study BY some means it
was afterwards mislaii, and when found
recently several pages Of it was MI sing
In this fragmenisry condition il Is now
published, stars being Used 10 denote the
missing passages. IN my view" saws Mr..
Bryant, T" of the life. the teachings, the la
bors and the suferiugs of the blessed Jesus
there can be no admiration too profound,
no love Of which the hU man heart Is cspa-
BILE, too warm. no gratitude too earnest and
deep of which He is justly tie obj jsct. i,
is with sorrow that that Ioy love for Him
j. 40 cold, and my gratitude so made
quate." Mr.. Bryant adds that if he
thought the religion of skep,icIsm We're TO
gather strength, ard become the dominant
view OF mankind, he should despair OF the
fate OF mankind in the years that are TO
come" He trembles "to think what the
world would be without Him Christ"
and continues: "Tske away the blessing
OF the sdyent of mis- life and the blessings
purchased by His death, in what an abyss
of guilt would man have been left. IL
would seem TO be blottirg the sun ont of
the heavens-to leave our system OF worlds
in chaos, fros; and darkness"