Connecticut western news., 1879-01-22
WIT AND WISDOM.


 Republican.
 Isn't it funny that when fish are weighed the weight of the scales has to be counted in?
 Tell us, somebody. why our law makers are never arrested for passing worthless ills.-BoSton ZrGnscrfpt.
 -" Every man is the architect of his own fortuno," and sometimes he doesn't get as much for the plans as he had to pay for the paper he draws them on.
 Comprehensive classification for un- married men: One lady to another "Where is MT. Debroun's wifo ?" "Oh, he hasn't got any wife-he's fool.
 On dit that one of the sweetest things in life is to sleigh ride in Boston with O pretty girl. Even the snow is just like brown sugar.-Boston Post.
 Whatever be the unfailing work God has given us to do. however toll some, however irksome, however thank less on earth, is not in vain ill his sight. Dean Stanley.
 The Chenango Telegraph says: GA merchant can get along without ad- vertising 50 can a- wagon without grease, but it goes hard and soon wears out.". Utico O6sc' ver. Tho circus man should be happy. With him it is always spring. If any pestilential punster prints this with "summcrset addendum, he dies at sum- | ,;oo Jooato., oo,S,af
 -" John, said rich Quaker to his extravagant son, "I'm afraid thou art getting Q rake." Nay, father," re- turned the youth, drily, cit is thee that hath raked, and am spreading it for thee."
 The Lord of Life should not be worshippcd with faded flowers. Those that grow in thine own garden are far better than any other. With the flowers that are gathered there must be rever- ence-itself ahower.
 "A Philadelphia dry goods merchant, it is stated, has added @ children's room to his store, where mothers may leave their children to be amused with rock ing horses, pictures and toys while they do their shopping.
 -"What tunnel is that ?" asked a stranger in our city who was driving round in sleigh taking in the sights, yesterday. "Tunnel !? Why, that's no tunnel; that's livery man smiliug, was answered. d.- Wheeling Leader.
 -"What makes dogs mad !" asks an exchange. Boys. It makes dog mad as @ wet hen the minute he secs boy with tin can in one hand and a string in the other looking for something to tie them to.---Burlington Hasckeye. Come unto Him, and in his great ness we shall find the enlargement of our littleness, in his tenderness we shall find the softoning of our harshness, in his compassion we shall find the light ening of our burden.-Deaa Stanley. 5 -Snodkins has been making calls. The mothe, O. one of bis lady friencs took interest enough in him to inquire !. what were his intentions in regard to l her daughter. "My intentions are to l. leave, madam" said the hero and he } did.
 A miscr's character describedln two !. lines "You who are acquainted with T MT. B., can you tell me why, being SC 0 rich, he always take% third-class pas '- sage to go to his yilla?" Oh, 1t IS very ,, simple. It is because there is no fourth Y class"
 Last summer, when the hot wave
 from the west struck us so violently. WI
 felt as if we should like to go out ane r. shovel ten feet of snow off neighbor IS sidewalk, and not charge him cent le We don't feel that way now.-No'rts l. to,un Herald.
 B, Spelling matches are very demoral n izine. Jones had been to one the nigh @ before. His wife is awakened during
 the early morning by some noise beiov n stairs. "John burglars !" she called SC shaking him. Burglars-b-u-r-g-l-a-r- le burglars" said he, and rolled over tx e' sleep again.
 to -.-"Get up, Harry dear There's ice Il ,n the water bucket, and what shall do ?
 Sa1u Q CuCSTIul Wu0 oh ~ ASSOAo AASSe. o' morning. "Ice-is there ?" returne' u. Harry, who had been at the club tn ol night previous. "Well, Marie, yo ,1 ,s had better crack it up some, and mak N me pitcher of ice water. Hosts
 Courier.
 u- -" Please draw upon the blackboar IT. r an interrogation point" said teache le to one of her pupils. "Cant make Tn good one" replied th, boy. "Draw 10 boot buttoner," said tho teacher; "thl will answer" The boy took the crayo st' and drew hairpin. Sharp rebuke b ng the teacher. Other scholars smile. st,
 n: Smith has good opinion of hin ue self. He has never done stroke nd work, but lives on ahard-working fathel ny Nevertheless he fancies that some cred ye is due him for the fortune which he el ,le joys. The other day. leaning again ne the mantelpiece, his back to the fire, a o said: "I was born the son of DO ii. laborer. Before was thirty years O git I was the son of one of the richest ms
 in tho country"