The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1879-07-05
VARIETY.

No man ever yet looked on the dark side of life
without finding 1t.
The Philadelphia Bulletin calls HIM the immi-
Grant.
The Herald Weather Bureau has announced
shat TaImage will strike the coast of Europe IN
ahout a week.
A college graduate is making $40 day at the
q, W mining town Of Leldvile. He charges 81
shave.
Prisoner, why did you follow this man and
eat and kick him 50 shamefulIy?' p - 1 sorry,
lur Honor; 1 was little drunk, and thought
was my WIFE,
A Kentucky man has a Bible $50 years old,
d he thinks it will last him go years longer.
ut what he saves on Bibles don't keep him in
-'"I@ -NOrTisf0TH Herald.
Hen his wife 50 the women folks"
Kingston II qaI says you may set it down
at she j. one Co., much for him, so that ne is
obliged to design her as plural.
a very rich man aid 's worked like n slave
] I was forty 10 make my fortune, and I've
sn watching it Ike a detective ever since for
g. lodging, food and clothes-'
That vas not bad in q country debating sOei-
-. where the subject considered was 50 Is it
E-Orz to cheat q l1wyer?" After full discussion,
he decision was - Not wrong, but too difficult
D. pay Tor tie trouble"
II l. 80 delightful, says the Richmond STATE. to
lar ones ucIgIDJrs talked about, and it gives
> ca a relish 10 life to feel that you are not the
orIy man in the world who says and does mean
4tt iugs that 10 ls not surprising so much more
q 1t IL evi, than good should be said Of our
7 .rIerds.
Eer.1r-y. Sfa-y IA little shape.
And tAe w17i va. white cntgirely.
an. ybs.eysr yary .y1uId Ii str her stuInIs
4 Yankee aur- lneer lately INDUCED in the fol-
wing AISLE DC Of pathetic: - Gentlemen, IT
r lather ami r ther stood where you do, and
81 Int buy these blOts-these elegant boots when
4 - -
4 duty as 7El TO tell both Of 'cm that they
were false TO themselves and false :. thcir coun
'ry-"
TI.at was neIs, says the Boston Courier, the
Isul,.rk Of q youuz lawyer on Washington street
thc Other morning. y friend accosted him
q John, wish You would change this twenty
,lllr bill f1r me ?" The blushing, but pleased
.cruey nfted Lis hat and replied - Ny good
b you hIttCr me, you hatter me -
he white nan may go to Leadyile, says the
Detroit Free Press get broke and die there for
d. anybody cares Let = negro go to Kansas
u get hOmssick aud an excursion ticket will be
him for tie return trip.
hen n tramp calls on you this summer, says
t. baltimore G4=etie, give him crust Of bread,
q co y OF the new California Constitution, but
. O. nm 10 pursue the star Of empire across the
Sr.-rls. In ether words, 50 Go West
there IS oue redeeming feature about recent
We murders TIE murderer has generally killed
course serves tie purpose Of hanging and is less
c. susive and demJralizing.
"a world is q dream within dream and as
~ grow older eCci step Is an awakening. The
; luSh awakes, ne thinks, from childhood the
fol- grown man =uIses the pursuits o. youth as
Jisie nary aud tl- old man looks on manhood
IS d fese-ish dream D,a.a the last sleep? No : |
j. is . = itsL 1s.- sa.al awakening
40, o n't leala - sde, young man. You
mia < "a 4 ghf hfrt coll nd
81 o. you. complexion sweating. Go hang your
ei.r over counter learn to talk twaddIe to the
ludIts; u your hair in the middle make an
sss II yot self generally, and work for wages
that would g =-- Jrt Chinese Iaundryman on
rice ed rat anu l-ave big enough balance to
pay his " .heI F0nan-just because it's little
i-jrs sen5ef in the eyes OF the people whose pride
prevents en- from pounding rock or hewing
Eos pat at crlss-legged clothes-pins, if the
IT, \ ver only Id AbHira Gazette.
an * aordinary army joke has found its way
40 sh6 column of The Court Journal. The
durinss CT ths Afghan is prOyerbal, and it is
e. ttlt upon me occasion General Roberts
-.-~ = N1ug1l, who was so preternaturally
1rry flat il was thought necessary, for the safety
the whole camp, that he should be washed.
W. ,tnuine Tommy Atkinses were told of for
1'- ,urD5se. They stripped him, and scrubbed
JlL EItI sJrliable brushes and Il large guam
-- e black soap for two hours, ut the end of
"a went % theif Colonel. What is it, men ?''
''Well, sir. we washed that Afghan for two
hour, but &c w. Mt good. After scrubbing
him, SIR, till Ou. arms were like to break, blest
didn't come upon another suit Of clothes. -
GRtNDFATHEK LICEsHISGLE's VIEW or IL
Grandfather Lickshingle threw down the paper
yesterday in disgust and exclaimed
eft makes me sick, by gracious-it makes me
sick
What makes you sick, grandather?'' asked
"W Fy here's another coachman runs away
with , employers daughter"
''i.n certainly too bad, - said James.
And they get married the minute they arc out
Of her fathers house"
''Ths p0-- lily thing
"V $, should cay 'the poor, silly thing -
- G also say the sap-head, the shalIow-pate
-a- aEy, crack-brained imbecIle," continued
grand sEher, IN 4 towering rage.
4 Tie poor creatures are Just from boarding
s;ho. said James, with their heads full of
roman .le--''
Who's just from boarding school2'' yelled
I grlutlather
''lle poor silly girls are"
"H hps tslkin' about girls ?'' yelled the old
man. = Ettle more savagely than before. It's
the achuan I'm a-hittin' at. If had n son,
an Dr. was a good cOachman, an he would dis
gEace himself by runnin' away with his en-
Ploycrs siddy daughter I'd spend my pension
moneJ IN riOtIus liyiu', an I wouldn't leave
him o. . rcd cent to rub against an othcr. Now
you t'ai your old grandfather quote Shake