The Russellville Democrat., 1879-04-03
The 9emutrat
A warbler's thrill Awakes the hill,

 On yernal wings Rare blooms and garden sass. Il Light reading-a treatise on gas. I A pressing necessity-a flat-iron' A poor relation-a story badly told. Rusiness on hand-a fortune teller's. Nothing so lubricAtes the muscles as sweet toil. The first Cane break--Abel's frac- | turcd skull. ao a- A pews-stand-the home of the fe- male gossip. Let the spring candidates arise in their majesty. .~. About five hundred newspapers ap- pear in Russia. Newspaperdom is to some extent a hyphen-nation. Leadvile is the richest plum in the Colorado pie just now. dt A calico hop-a farmers wife getting dinner for harvest hands. is not as easy for a ioafer to walk as to lean against lainp-post. When American meets American then comes the discussion on politics. The lIiddletown cornet band has died through inability to raise the wind. California advised the Chinese to go to Ohio and run for the Presidency. If you are hog, go to Leadville. Bacon is worth fifteen cents per pound there.
 = The Woodbine Twiner is the name of new paper published at Woodbine, Iowa.
 A man who is Gin the hands of his friends " has a good chance of starving to death.
 The most useful pedestrian is the man who walks the floor nights with the baby. A Whitehall woman calls her hus- band good resolutions, because he's al- ways broke.
 Square bats will be used by base ball clubs next season. Square games are more needed.
 So close is the sympathy between night and day, that after one falls the other breaks.
 Mr. Edison will soon light out for Flu rope, and this, it is believed, will be his only successful light.
 A woman in London has paid 2OO fines for drunkenness. She shonld not get sober so often.
 If you are in love, just con stitute yourself 'sTeller committee" of one, and settle the business.
 The most powerful man in the coun- --try lives in Washington. He carries a horse scar on his cheek.
 If it is true that Ben Butler will re- tire to private life, we fear private life will not be what it is now.
 Noah is the first man who strictly ob- served Lent. He lived on water for forty days and forty nights.
 They have shingle wedding out West and the shingles are applied to the of- spring of the happy union,
 The cultivator of the soil should have his share ot the worlds goods, if noth- ing more than ploughshare.
 The man who sighed for the wings oi a dove probably did not know that the legs were much better eating.
 America has her peculiarity in this respect, too. It is wonderful how a rich papa improves girls looks.
 This is the season of the year when venerable hens enter their second child hood, and are broiled for spring chick ems.
 Ninety per cent. Of the pulp of an orange is water. This explains why stepping on the skin brings to mind . dam.
 We suppose that misunderstanding rat the alter, between candidates for marriage, may be termed an altar cation.
 Always remember the poor. It may save the awkward mistake of trying to borrow dollar from the person who hasn'tlt.
 Haverstraw will soon be all right again, Just as soon as hot weathex comes the reply will be-: ''I don't care fl do."
 lhe reason why laiy has never be- come famous as paragrapher is that a two-line paragraph with 2 ten-line post script Is failure.
 Never despise small gift. The man who bestows but one kind word should be treated as tenderly as the individual Who gives you the smallpox.
 If the man who will go into a barber shop on Saturday night or Sunday morning and have his hair cut hasn't any enemies, he certainly ought to have.
 An apothecary, in decorating for Washington's birthday, placed jar of calamus root in the show window, and