River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-05-15

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defined that the senses were sympathetic.
The sounds that reached my ear were re-
peated as if by echo; taste and touch
were fanciful and erratc, and at night
wierd, fantastic forms fitted before my
eyes, and real objects assumed the shape
of what they We're not, and drove me to
the verge of delirium, while the effort
constantly exerted to retain my reason
only the more Frustrated the mental
powers.
Ultimately my malady reached a stage
at which seemed TO realize both physl-
cal and mental and double existence. At
times | could distinctly see the form and
features of my second self, directly con-
fronting and gazing upon my more immed-
late self. And then my own voice adj
dressed me and we conversed together
myself and second self-now condoing in
common misery, and then in tantalizing
and horrible imprecations.
The terrible delusion became unbear-
able, and | felt that reason could not
much longer retain command of the dis
ordered facilities. 1t was night when
my mental agitation had reached a high
degree. My wife had fallen asleep,
overcome with constant care and watch
ing. was pacing the sitting room of
our chamber, about the hour of midnight,
as was my habit Occasionally | reclined
on sofa, in the hope of catching slight
respite from the distress of my terrible
hallucination; by it was for moment
,nlv.
| lay down again ON the sofa. My
brain seemed whirling in a blaze of fire,
md sprang up stricken with madness.
The horrible spectre stood before me with
a fiendish grin Of derision. / grasped a
heavy piece of furniture and dashed at it
with the fury of IL maniac. The spectre
seemed palpable to the blow, and yielded
| saw it vanish in darkness that spread
before me, and my tormenting second self
was gone. broke forth in frantic laugh
ter, that returned in hundred echoes
around me, and sank exhausted, uncon-
scious To the floor.
The morning sun was shining in upou
me when awoke to returning conscious
ness. \ cool perspiration oozed from my
forehead. | rose on my elbow and, for
some moments, endeavored to recall my
identity and the recollections of the night.
Then horrible conviction came upon me.
| Good heavens! 1t was my wife-the
reality of the form | had dashed down
and destroyed in my frenzy
| Overwhelmed with Temorse, / rushed
wildly from the house and fled | knew
not whittier. The greater grief that had
come upon me terminated my mental
power, and | became calm i'll despair;
| but shrank cowardly from the desolation
that my own hand had wrought.
| 1t was some weeks after the dreadful
night | have described that | reached
New York city without detection, great |
er portion of the distance working as one
of the crew of canal boat. l wandered
| along the wharves of the metropolis |
searching anxiously for some means OF
| escaping the country, and longing even
to flee the fellowship of civilized man.
The opportunity was finally discovered in
a ship sailing around Cape Horn for the
Pacific coast, on board of which my ser |
vices were accepted in a mental capacity. |
was soon safe from discovery and
pursuit, and free upon the boundless wa
ters-free as one could feel with the re-
morse of a helIish deed upon his soul, and
the abandonment of all hope of happy
hour in life again.
| need not describe the experience of
long and tedious voyage, and the hard |
ships and indignities put upon me in con
sequence of inefficiency and total igno
rance of a seaman's duties. To me it was
of little account. But the change of life |
and scene, and the sea air, had wonder
full effect in repairing my mental and
physical strength 1t was on bright |
September morning that l first spied the
hazy shores of California, and in day or
two thereafter sauntered along the streets |
of San Francisco, alone in new world, |
with only the companionship of a bitter
recollection
AS necessity required, | sought en-
ployment, and managed to sustain myself, |
leading Il listless. purposeless sort of life.
But the monotony soon became oppres
sive, and the apprehension of ultimate |
discovery excited renewed anxiety. |
Frequently fancied the recognition of a
familiar countenance ON the streets, that |
kept me in painful uncertainty.
The day came in which my worst fears
were realized The miserable wretch in |
whose house | was sojourning delivered |
me into the hands of justice. By what
means he discovered my identity | could |
not determine; but mel my fate boldly, |
for remorse had so far emlittered my ex-
istence, that | disdained longer to strug |
Gle for its continuance.
"Gentlemen,n | exclaimed, as the of
ticers inclosed my wrists with iron shack
les, take your accursed reward! | am
Charles Harden, murderer, from"
They dragged me to prison, and the |
officers of the law came and questioned
me. told them all, and they transfer
red me to more secure confinement lest
should escape again the retTibution Of
crime.
Long fingered in the solitude of a
gloomy cell awaiting the final decree OF
fate. until calm indifference succeeded |
despair and gradually every emotion,
even life itself. seemed to subside into a
dream.
But IA day came when my sensibilites
seemed terminating, like one emerging
from trance Slowly my mind mani
tested activity, and in time recalled my
identity when suddenly the recollection
and all the weight Of its great burden of
remorse again descended.
An old man whose kindly countenance
had become familiar to me, as in a vision,
appeared and sought to rally my despond-
cncy with words of hope and encourage
ment.
'You have had long, bad spell,
Harden, he remarked, ''but you are COM
ing around all right now. and will soon
he ont in the world again"
Then was not in prison, but an insane
asylum. Thank heaven my wretched
guilt had not been discovered
And then | learned from the old man
the circumstances of my arrest as "A luna
tic, and the nature of YIN affliction. In the
operation of trepanning at the hand of I'M
skilled surgeons, a small splinter of the
fractured skull had been left adhering in
"a position to irTitate the membrane of the
brain, and this trifling oversight had
caused the insanity attended with such
sad results, TO blast the happiness of my |
life forever, and stamped my memory
with the ignominy OF murder.
The arrangement had been effectively |
repaired by the skilled surgeon of the
asylum, and my mind now rapidly recov
cred its original power. But what availed |
t, reflected bitterly and why had | been
restored from peaceful l'ulacy to con
ciousncss to which death would be re-
lief