The Plymouth Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1878-1901, 1879-01-16
The Funniest General In all the World.

he was about the funniest general In
all the world.
Me was very fat and very clever,
and, like all fat. clever people, he
loved little children. The fatter he
grew, the more clever he grew. and
when he had dozen or so OF child
rem about bis knees, he wasn't much
OF general, as generals go. not much
OF lighting general, I mean.
But we must give the name and
date of this general, and so crack the
historical nutshell, before we can
set our readers the sweetmeat OF our
story. This we will do in a single
paragraph, and We shall have all the
rest OF the space to tell you about
the agreeable general, and the funny
things that he did.
Procopius, or Procope, the famous
fat general, was Bohemian, and be-
came commander OF the Hussites,
who were almost an army OF giants,
in 1424. He won many victories with
his terrible army, and caused the
princes OF Moravia, Austria and Sax
ony, to sue for terms at his feet. The
fame OF MS great deeds and wonder
full victories filed all Europe for
eleven years. when he was Kill ed in
battle in IA 4. Now, the historical,
nut shell is cracked, and VIC will have
some account OF the funny fat man
who loved the children.
In the summer OF 1882. goo '-natur.
ed P.ocopius and his tall army came
marching through the hot mountain
passes into Saxony, and encamped
in very lovely valley on the banks
OF the Saale, and invested :he old
walled town OF Naumburg. 1t was
cherry time.--a lovely time OF year
to lay siege to the tough old town.
and the valley was full OF cherry
trees, which was calculated to make
fat Procope and the tall besiegers.
who were very fond ofthe good things
in the world, contented and happy.
So. while part OF the army besieged
the town, tie rest went cherrying,
and a very comfortable time they
had.
But the Saxons who were shut up
in Naumburg were resolute and stub
born, and refused TO yield. The
golden moon that hung over the
Saale on the still nights when June
gerfsmed the vale with roses, waned,
again; but the Saxons gave no signs
OF coming to terms with the fat gen.
eral. And Procopius, although gen.
orally so clever and good natured.
began, we are very, very sorry to say,
to lose his patience and his temper.
1t was far past midsummer. The
roses were falling. and the cherries
were rotting, and Procope himself
was getting sour. So one morning
he put on his high -heeled boots. and
seemed to be unusually out OF sorts,
and he sent a terrible message to the
good people OF Naumburg that. il
they did not surrender the town be-
fore the end OF the week, all the peo-
pie in it should at last be put to the
sword.
oh, then there was distress iu
NaumbuIg. Yet the sturdy old Sax
on lords refused to surrender the
town.
But at last the store OF food in The
town was rearly gone. and strong
walls grow weak when the people
have no bread. The women begaI
, to be hungry, and the children to or.
, for for food.
What was to be done? They calle,
a council, but the council could d.
nothing. The besiegers were stronl
= without, and the corn was g0n
within, and their lives were forfeite
il they opened the gates to the enc
Q my.
, There came to the council an oil
1 German schoolmaster. and when Tn
4 lords and chief men could offer moth
5 ing, he begged leave to say a fe
: words to them.
Q "Procope," said he, bowing yer
: low, so that his que stuck out lik
$ a horn behind, "is very fat"
5 "That will not help our leanness
o said the lords.
a Fat men are very clever" said th
a spare old pedagoSde.
I "All the more inglorious to die ;
e the hands OF clever man." said II
l. lords.
[. .And clever, fat men love children
d said the pedagogue. looking Vel
<, wise.
e "That does not help our case
,r said the lords.
" "a man who loves child will N
l. harm the parent" said the old ped
Of gogue.
Y. "But the Hussites do not love Of
re- children"
re- Every man has tender place
M his heart" said the wise pedagogy
he "Get at that, and one is SAFE"
re "But how does that apply to us
,d asked the lords.
q. Listen" said the pedagogue. loo
ing still more wise, and bringing Il
tip OF one finger over into the pal