The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-10-09
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
AN imperious C@sar-The Sheriff.

AN imperious C@sar-The Sheriff.
UPRIGHT egislator-s'What, siri You
take me for one who can be bribedP You
insult my sense of honor. But, in case l
really was such q man, how much would
you giveP''
NEWTON was loafing away his time
when the principles of gravitation struck
him in heap, but the modern youth
who tries the experiment is more apt TO
be struck by a shingle.
A BOSTON court has decided that If a
woman lends money to her husband she
can not get it back. This is stale news
to great many wives, who arrived at
that decision long ago without the aid of
a court.
90 MEN should not allow their wives to
split wood" says a mild cotemporary.
This is rather inconsiderate. How can
a man refuse when his wife comes up
with tears in her eyes and says, % Now
do, dear, let me 90 down cellar and split
wood for an hour to get up an appetite. -
Mr.. TALMAGE says it is easier to
serve God when the wind blows from
the southwest than from the northeast;
that Christians often attribute TO their
| own depravity what is due to the wealth
er, and that the devil never rides on the
west wind
81 WISH I We're you about two
hours she said to her husband, with
great tenderness - And why, my
DEAR he asked. - Because" she said,
toying affectionately with his watch
chain, " because then [ would buy my
wife new bonnet. .''-BOSto1 ,JOuY7ldE.
A SWEET little Norwich miss of s,
who had monopolized all the compli-
ments for beauty in the family circle
since her birth, was recently asked: d" Is
your new baby brother handsome?"
There was a momentary Juvenile con-
fusion from jealousy, and with flushed
face and curled lip she replied: No,
I don't think he is handsome, but he is
real nice, though"
MARK TWAIN contributes S25 toward
defraying the expenses of the battle
flag celebration at Hartford, but takes
it out of the money that he intended to
spend for a pew in church. The fol-
lowing is his defense of that course:
% There is nothing nObler than for reli-
gion to support patriotism, and nothing
wiser than for both to uphold and en-
courage domestic economy; therefore l
substract this sum from the pew rental" "
OLD Mr.. Doubles1ull had been poring
over a map for several minutes, the
troubled look on his face showing that
he was wrestling with a problem that
had got the upper hold of him. Finally,
looking up, the cloud O'erspreading his
features partially gone, 81 understand
now how these lines come here point
ing to the parallels of longitude and lat
itude up and down and across the At
lantic Ocean, for l remember being
told that britannia rules the waves;'
but how them lines get on shore, too,
beats me. Boston Transcript.
"Now, ladies and gentlemen
shouted the book-agent, % before the
picnic concludes want to sell every one
of you a copy of the Life of POca-
hOntas.' She was an Injun girl, Poky
was-they called her POky for short
but she wasn't the kind that went around
peddling baskets and blow-guns. Not
frequently. She staid at home play
ing croquet in the front yard, or went to
the Ladies' Aid Society, and didn't take
no cOpperas off o nobody. The cele-
brated John Smith came travelling
through them parts as agent for family
paper, but Poky wouldn't let her father
raise a club. She married Smith after
wards, and the last act of her life was to
die of consumption" just here Officer
Uncle Sammy Jones approached with
shotgun and the meeting adjourned.