The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1879-06-12
STANDARD PARAGRAPHS.


Time makes all things even except
corduroy road.
The fellow who gets up earliest thes'
fine mornings is Bob White.
Milkmen invariably fall in love will
the beautiful Blue Danube.
Democrats need not fear indigestion
Their Rice will be well cooked.
We're all stalwarts, and glorious ole
Zach. Chandler is coming to Ohio.
The man who lives next door to 6
powder mill must have an abiding faith.
Our Democratic friends think Hayes
has got his back up--but its only his toe
We toe.
Are you proud of the bride p asked
the goat of the horse. mot a bit + re-
piled the horse.
When speaker is carried away by
his subject" he should be promptly re-
leased on ha6eas corpus.
"Yes, bread may be the staff of life"
said Swillem, "but it takes deal OF old
Bourbon to put up the colors."
The coalition of the Democrats with
the Nationals, as soft-soldering process,
is not considered great success.
We are assured that Mr.. Ewing's
friends are jubilant over his nomination.
Their victory is Thomas defeat.
The coming Notary Public will rejoice
in commission bearing this simple le-
gend: "Charles Foster, Governor"
Mr. Thurman is a very sick man, po
litically, and Mr.. Tilden is preparing
lot for him in the political cemetery.
Girls, small hands and feet are not
special attractions. A mule has small
feet, but he is not the more loveable on
that account.
President Hayes swings the veto with
all the natural ease and grace with which
the gentleman from Tipperary swings his
favorite "blackthorn.'
"Oh, you goosel" said an angry mother
to her infant son. And he went straight
way to the bushes and began examining
himself with goose berries
A young tobacco chewer, when ordered
away by his girls father, leisurely arose
and took his hat, remarking that che al
Ways took the natural leave"
The stylish young man should be care
ful not to wear his ulster duster buttoned
too tightly around him. There's danger
of some one stealing him for an umbrella.
There is nothing hypocritical about
human nature, after all. The nice young
man takes the trouble to puff cigar smoke
in your face, that you may know he is
fool
Gov. Bishop did not make laws. The
sins of the O'Connor Legislature were
committed by representative Democrats,
and the Democracy of Ohio cannot make
a scape- goat of Mr.. Bishop.
Democratic journals are frantically i'm
ploring the aid of the Seitz law, to prevent
Foster from buying Democratic votes
We have heard that Foster has barrels
upon barrels of money.
Tom Ewing will convince the Ohio
Democracy this year that they are starry
ing At the end of the campaign it is
expected that the stomach of every Ew-
ing man will be stuck fast to his back
bone.
Mr.. Talmage knows of -four gates to
perdition." Mr.. Talmage oughtn't to
have gone off to Europe without running
over to Washington and informing the
Democratic Caucus that "The Gates
Ajar.
You can't taunt US with Charles Foster,
on such platform as that. A very good
wagon may carry a very questionable
load But this time the Republicans of
Ohio will pull both wagon and load up
the State House steps.
Mr. Tilden is the mastiff that holds up
the Presidential nomination, and allows
the puppies to eagerly snap at it; but
when the proper time arrives, Sam will
quietly take it in, and smile at their dis
comfture.
One objection the paragraphers urge
against Hickenlooper is that his name
won't rhyme with anything. His oppo-
nent is more fortunate. Rice-price-
dice-lice-and so on. There's music
enough in the name for good Demo
cratic song.
The brewers, in National Convention,
have resolved that hereafter they will
vote for no man for a legislative Office,
whose views do not accord with their
own A mans ability is to be based upon
the amount of liquor he can crowd into
his stomach.
Senator Bayard, in an eloquent speech a
few days since, said that the Democrats
had elected Tilden, but had allowed
Hayes to take his seat rather than .jeop-
ardize the peace of this great country"
This was very kind in the Democratic
party, and Mr.. Hayes should, in behalf Of
the American people, return thanks tc
Senator Bayard and his party.
Miss Lucy Walker, of Wellston, is q
daughter of Anthony B. Walker, who re
sided here some twenty years ago. Miss