The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-01-18


public opinion is absolutely necessary
for ones individual dignity, virtue and
happiness.
"WouLD you like to be lynched p
asked an exasperated Missouri farmer
of horse-thief. "No, I'll be hanged If
l dop' was the reply.
HE used TO call his girl Revenge"
Cognomen rather neat,
For when asked him why, he'd say,
:. You know Revenge Is sweet"
LITTLE pitchers have large ear"
remarked that ubiquitous entity, a by
stander, as Jones's diminutive mule
pitched its owner over its head.-Boston
Transcript Az
A YOUNG gentleman was yesterday
accusing another of having a big mouth.
" Yes" said the other. "but the Lord
had to make yours small so as to give
you plenty of cheek" 81
THE Kansas blacksmith who received
notice that he was heir to $50, 900,
chewed his tongue moment and then
went on with his pounding as of yore,T
Detroit Free Press.
DANIEL PRATT has the matter under
advisement and has cabled to Bulgaria
that he will accept the throne for $500 a
year, beer, cigars and hair-oil thrown
in.-Boston Post "a X 4f
BE prudent in your expenditures and
above all never disburse other peoples
money, unless they authorize you. to do
so. Follow this advice and you will be
saved much Inconvenience and attend
ance at court.--Neto York Ne,cs. .
A FASHION note informs US that
dresses are growing more bouffant in the
back. To those who do not know what
boufIant means this piece of news falls
with crushing force right on the verge
of ahard winter. ~
A VERMoNTER has invented a bottle
that will always turn right side up. Now
let him invent something that will en-
able the man who carries it to do the
same thing and he will soon be rich.-
Buffalo Erpress.
The difference between gossip and
truth is that no one will ever stop to
question your veracity when you are in
dulging in the first but he wants your
oath when you are speaking solemn facts.
Detroit Free Press. Els
NEW HAVEN County is credited with
having the meanest man in the state.
When he sends his hired man down eel
lar to draw cider, he makes him whistle
from the time he leaves his presence till
he returns with the beverage, so that he
can drink any without having the old
man know it.
AN instance of "sharp practice" is
that of man in Ohio, who was &C
Quilted Of murder on plea of insanity.
He had secured his lawyers by giving
them mortgage on his farm, but now
repudiates the mortgage on the ground
that he soas insane when he made 1t, &C
cording to the showing OF these same
lawyers.
TIE coolest" man Is a resident of
Paris, and he is the hero of the follow
ing anecdote: A gentleman walking
with his boy on the banks OF the Seine,
the child slipped over the bank into the
water, and would certainly have been
drowned, but for the courage Of man
who was fishing, who jumped in and
saved the boy. The father thanked
him cordially, but asked him II ne
would add to the obligation, as he was
already wet through, by swimming out
for his sons cap.
AMAN was in bed very i'll, when an
old chum came to see him. !" ] am
awfully bad" said the patient; "you
see am lying on my right side, and my
doctor saws | am 80 bad that if were
to turn over on my left side ! should
die" "What an extraordinary thing
to say!" said the friend. g assure you
he did say it," replied the sick man. II
can't believe it, rejoined the visitor.
"Whati" exclaimed the sick man, you
don't believe it, Then look herel" and
he turned over and died in rage
Paris Figaro.
A BosToN man who was stopping at
one of our hotels last week. rang the
bell during the night, and told the
waiter TO bring him something to allay
the suffering consequent upon severe
attack of odontalgia. The waiter hur-
ried down to the office with very white
face. and repeated what the Boston man
had said. The proprietor had never
had such dreadful thing in his house
before, but he routed all hands and
heated hot water and prepared several
mustard plasters, while three doctors
were hurriedly dispatched for with
directions to bring all their instruments
and bandages and an extra allowance
of chloroform. And when the anxious
company invaded the room with saws
and knives and hot water and mustard,
they found the Boston man sitting up
in bed, and swearing enthusiastically
because the servant was SO long bring
ing up bitof ground Glove for his tooth
ACHE Rockldpd Courier.