The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1879-10-02
A Family Jar!

AsA recall 1t pleasantly.
A Family Jar!
Philemon Hayes and Fanny Ray had
been j0st three weeks married. They
sat at breakfast in their cozy dining
room one morning In Summer, totally
infatuated with each other. Never
such happiness - theirs beforel The
Adelity Of Adam and his lady before
they made the acquaintance of the ser.
pent was not to be mentioned in the
same breath They kissed each other
between every cup of coffee and en-.
braced twice-sometimes thrice-dur-
ing each meal. Just now they were
talking of disagreements. Some folks
Of theirs had fallen out and refused to
fall in again.
We never will disagree, will we,
Phll. dearr asked Mrs. Fanny.
Disagreed Will the heavens fall p
returned Phil.
I sincerely hope not. 1t would be
decidedly disagreeable,' laughed Fam
ny; sbut If I thought We should ever
quarrel and have harsh thoughts to-
wards each other, should be tempted
TO terminate my existence
NY precious FannyI' cried Phil.
springing up and upsetting the toast
plate on the carpet, of which he was
perfectly oblivious in his eagerness to
get his arms around Fanny-'My
foolish little darlfngl as il we should
ever be 90 absurd "a kiss). May 1 be
drawn and quartered (another kiss) if
ever speak one word that will cause
tear to fill the divine eyes of my
dearest q third explosion) Fannyp
%, how happy you make me, Phil.
shall try so hard to be just the faith
ful, loving wife you deserve. Now
finish your breakfast deary. The
toast will be growing cold. And O,
Phil, did you notice Mrs. Smiths hor-
rid new bonnet last night? declare
1t destroyed all my pleasure in the
music. / do wish people who wear
such untasteful bonnets would stay
away from these delightful concerto
so do ], Fanny. noticed the ugly
thing the moment we entered the hall.
Blue howersand pink ribbons, and she
- dark - . CreoleP
No, my loye; the flowers were
green. Green and blue look 80 much |
alike by gaslight.'
Il know they do, but noticed so |
particularly that could not be mista-
ken. Blue-especially light blue
looks fearfully on dark complexion. |
Cd wonanP
so it does, Phil l quite agree with |
You, dear. But the flowers. were not |
blue, they were green. saw them at
Mrs. Gray's shop before they were
purchased
NY dearest-Fanny, of course you
think yourself right, love, but have
. very good eye for color, and noticed
those flowers with great attention.
Blue anemones with yellow centers.'
'Green hibiscus with white centers,
my dear Phil. Very pretty for q light
skinned woman, but horrid for bru-
nette.'
Why, Fanny, how absurd! As If
I could not determine q color, when
studied 1t half the eveningI'
But it was by aaslight, my love. 1t
would look altogether different by
daylight. It was such q pale green
II Was such . pale blue. remem-
ber thought of the sky before storm
And I thought of the sea. 1t was
nearly sea-green.'
why, Fauny-ridiculous 1t was
sky-blus.'
How you do contradict me, my
Philemon. It was q very light green,
And insist it was bfue.' r
DO You mean to tell me I lie?
II mean to tell you you are mfstak-
en- Ii
(Which amounts to the same thipg.'
sYou make the application, Mrs.
Fanny Hsyes.' Ii
Mr.. Philemon Hayesp
Fanny .safs
Il cay it was green, sirv ,
Il say 1t was blue-so theret'
You are . wretch, Phil, real mean .
heartless wretch 7 and Fanny pushed .
back her plate angrily. .o
And you are an opinionated, self
willed woman r and Phil, in his agi-
Estion, upset the coffee, scalding the
ats back and himself at the same
lime. /
The deucev cried he, rubbing his
red fingers with his handkerchief. Il
wish had never seen q womanp 1t
What's that, sir7' Z
'Confound the women. They're q
curse to the worldp
you brute r cried Mrs. Hayes, nowl
incensed take thatr and
Deizing the plate OF muffins, she took
linn at Phirs head, but, being . woman,
1er aim was not so accurate a. 1t might
have been, and the plate went through
he window, smashing in the tile of
Fitz James Jones, who was passing,
lad the mullins were scattered in wild
about the room.
Phil was indignant. He laid his
hand on the poker.
%, strikei' exclaimed Fanny. st
will be only in place with your other
conduct. Don't let any notion of hon.
-, ~>.tra;u vnn hacanao vnu ,,ovor he'd