Connecticut western news., 1879-03-05
WIT AND WISDOM.


 Storms generally are mystery, but you can always see the drift of snow storm.
 He who brings empty hands to the granary of the Lord rarely goes away with his belly full.
 The most terrific storm of real woe in mans heart rarely filings it's froth and foam as high as his lips.
 -"That's a nice new suit you have on what did you have to pay for it ?'' "Sixty dollars--and costs"
 The praise and blame which hang on the lowest boughs, and may be easi. ly plucked, are generally worthless.
 -Modesty is Q priceless virtue; but, if like the bloom on a woman's cheek, it is only "put on,'' it loses its value.
 There wouldn't have been any milk in the cocoanut if some of our dairymen had had the original construction of it.
 Some thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the at titude of the body, tho soul is on it's knees.
 Did the man who Rhode Island ride straddle? It wouldn't take much of stride to straddle that State. e.-KeokaIE Consultation.
 Simple pity ain't much better to person than an insult, but to pity him with $5 bill is bizziness. .-Josh Bit- Iings.
 It is a base ball where one lady monopolizes partners enough to have nine on a side. Any other woman pres ent will say SO.
 Talk about the angry sea and the mad waves, and all that. Humph you'd be angry too were you crossed as often as the ocean is.
 Profound remark by an observer of men and things eff soldiers without leaders are little to be feared, still less are leaders without soldiers"
 Mary J. Wadleigh, of Sutton, Mass, has no fewer than one hundred pet cats; and it may not be out of place to add that she is still unmarried.
 A landlady was complaining that she couldn't make both ends meet. "Well," said boarder, "why net make one end vegetables"
 The French are acquiring more stable government every year. Paris alone consumed 11,219 horses for food last year.-Norristos0 Herald. r.. so1os tka bride to be married "without gloves," which induces an exchange to remark, "precisely the way she handles her hus- band"
 Rye anu Rock are put forward as 0 new combination but it is as old as the hills. One has only to take enough rye and the rock comes as matter of course, at the head of his grave.
 He who spends his life in accumu- lating knowledge which is never adapted to the wants of society is Q literary mi ser. His gainings bear no interest, and he defrauds mankind of their just dues. -"Ah, yes," said Mrs. Burlington some years ago on the 22d of February, as she watched the military pass by, "Ah, yes, Washington is dead, and the worst of it is that his mantel-piece don't seem to have fallen on any man now living"
 An Irish Wicklow Quaker was re- gently replied to by lady listener. The Quaker was exclaiming against agita- tion. The lady responded: "What good in the world was ever done with- out agitation? We cannot even make butter without it.'' A minister who was speaking quite loud saw 0 woman leaving the church with crying babe, and thereupon ex- claimed: "Your baby don't disturb me, madam" "That isn't 1t, sir" she re- piled; "you disturb the baby" Of course, every effect must have cause. A pretty girl out West told her beau that she was mind-reader. "You don't say sol" he exclaimed. "Can you read what's in my mind ?" "Yes," said she; "you have it in mind to ask me to be your wife, but you're just little scared at the idea" Their we'd ding cards are out.
 T love, and have some cause to love the
 earth;
 She is my Makers creature, and therefore
 good:
 She is my motter, for she gave me birth She is my tender nurse, she gives me food; But what Q creature, Lord, compared with
 thee?
 Or what's my mother or my nurse to me?
 FRANCIS QUARLEs.
 In primary school not long ago the teacher undertook to convey to her pupils an idea of the uses of the hyphen. She wrote on tho blackboard "bird's- nests," and pointing to the hyphen asked the school, "What is that for ?" After short pause little Fenian piped out, "Plaze, ma'am, that's for the bird to roosht on."
 A gentleman walking with his boy on the banks of the Seine, the child slipped over the bank in the water, and would certainly have been drowned but for the courage of man who was fish ing, who jumped in and saved the boy. The father thanked him cordially, but oeIyaI lsrn l. x--o..l5 .