Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1879-06-28
A CHICAGO ROMANCE.
The Poor Reporter and the Rich Pork
packers Daughter.
IRON the Chicago Tribune.

From the Chicago Tribune
A few years ago there was a young
reporter on Chicago newspaper who
was in love with the beautiful and ac-
complished daughter of a rich and
prominent citizen, whose aristocratic
station is sufficiently indicated by the
fact that annually his special commits
sioners stuck 10000 hogs. He had
some reason to believe that the beauti-
full d-sel reciprocated his passion, in
spite of the difference in their stations,
and, accordingly, dressing himself as
gorgeously as the united resources Of
the gentlemen OF the city department
who were about of his build--would
permit, he betook himself to the Office
of the mighty hog-destroyer, and asked
without circumlocution for the m. h.
DIS daughters hand and the rest of
her. The naughty butcher of swine
had just been showing a real live En-
glish Lords third cousins younger son
through his pork conservatory, and was
so much amazed at the reporters pre-
sumption that he told him to get out of
the office or he would have him tried
down into lard in the shaking of a
pigs tail.
"Beware, rash old man," replied the
youth, "or 1 will bust thy crust and let
out thy hearts blood. Thy fair daugh-
ter loves me. IT'S enough"
"My fair daughter" said the blue
blooded owner of the swine upon
thouand hills-or, to speak more ac-
curately, double-decked cars as
shaken you; this morning she told me
that she wouldn't touch you with ten
foot marriage-license.'
"Old man, it is false; thou iest!-|
thou givest me sub-cutaneous injection
of taffy!" exclaimed the reporter; but
the heartless despot ran him out with
unfeeling liveliness.
As the reporter went back he met the
adored of his soul riding in the family
carriage behind coachman Ga years Of
age, and conversing fondly with gid
ed butterfly who boards at the Palmer
House. She saw her lover, who smiled
three-volume smile at her and lifted
his-or, to speak more accurately, the
base ball reporter at her with be-
witching grace; but to this horror she
refused to acknowledge him-gave him
the Cumberland cut direct.
The hapless reporters blood boiled to
ice within his veins, and he had hardly
strength enough to stagger into beer
saloon and sink into chair, muttering
hoarsely "Ein bierf' "Ein 6iert" ne
said to himself, with bitter sheer, as,
having obtained comic section of
Bologna-sausage and some brown bread
and mustard, he seated himself at a
table furnished with IS per cent. of an
old Stats Zeitung and a stone match
box two feet in diameter containing a
match. "Ein bier aye, |
wish l could see her appalled, corpse lying |
before me on her bier; would that |
could borrow a revolver and blow off |
her head, as blow off the head of this |
lager"
Having thus given vent to his emo
ton, the unhappy young man sat |
down the half-emptied glass. The
BOlogne-sausage happened to be be-
yond, upon the table, and on looking |
pensively at it through the glass and |
beer be was startled to observe-but |
we must not anticipate.
"By Jove, l must have 'em, sure,"
he exclaimed in doubt and horror, and
with shudder he caught up the sau-
sage and examined it closely. 'I'm
hanged if l can understand this" he
said, after his inspection; then placing
it upon the table he brought the beer
glass into position and gazed upon it
again. 1.-THE beer and the convex lens
of the glass must refract and magnify
that's what it is" he said; and, hav-
ing tried the experiment with several
other pieces Of sausage, to the disgust
Of the proprietor, who remarked that
that was beer-saloon and not hotel
he departed, happy in the
that he had made q dis
covery before which the fame of Newton
would pale.