The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-09-20

shell and the greatest promoter of matri.
mony in the wide world.-[New Haven
Register
"Keep young man in chase of a pref
ty girl," says the Detroit Free Press,
"and he viii let whisky alone" Now,
what are We to infer? That there are nc
pretty girls in Detroit, or that they
won't submit to be chased Buffalo Ex-
press.
There will be five Sundays in next
February. Think of 50 much Sunday
night bliss in the shortest month. But
then this won't happen again in forty
years. Let the old gentleman remember
this and be hopeful when he lays in the
winter coal supply.-[New York Express.
The agricultural interests. Landlord
Ito tenant who has given up farming
at the end of his lease, to await better
times )-"Well, jackson, how do you like
living on your capitalP' Farmer" Not
too well, my lord; but / find it cheaper
than letting you live on it, London
Punch.
"In the fourth place." said the preacher
to his drowsy audience; "those of you
who are awake will notice"-etc. There
was a pause, sudden Strengthening up
of almost everybody in the congregation,
and general appearance on nearly every
face, as if to say, "why don't you fellows
keep awake better%
/ am past sixty years old, and every
now and then meet a relick who knu
me forty-fve years ago, and remembers
some deviltry i was guilty Of then. Amt
it strange how tenacious the memory is
of those things, and how weak
it is ov ennything good o feller may have
accidentally done%-[ Josh Billings.
"Now, Mr.. Robinson" said fair young
city visitor to the kind-hearted farmer,
won't you show us your watermelon Or
chard? 81 haven't a watermelon tree
on the place this year, ma'am; they were
all winter killed." and his questioner
wondered why he smiled so pleas lnty as
he answered. New Haven Register,
Now comes Johnny in from school,
with Owe got to have a new slate and
pencil, and a sponge and second reader,
and teacher wants me to study geography,
and I'll have to have an atlas, and the
new boy got a licking, and say, ma, won't
you ask pa to buy the books this noon,
because I'm i'll hurry, and all the rest
of the boys have got their'n%- New
Haven Register.
When you see an article in the editori-
al columns of paper headed "The Polit-
ical Outlook" look at the bottom line,
and if it says "sold by all druggists"
don't read it. There is such an article
going the rounds, which is the advertise
ment Of patent medicine. 1t is coun-
terfeit well calculated to deceive. Don't
read a political article unless the owners
name is blown in the bottle Peck's
Sun.
A marriageable young man worth
5000, 900 may be as ugly as hired bath
ing dress, and his young lady friends will
not admit that he is homely. They will
say. "Some persons call Mr., Joughness
ugly, but | can't see where their eyes
are" When Mr.. Joughness loses his for
tune in stock speculations, his homeli-
ness becomes terribly apparent, and the
remark of his former young friend is,
"lsn't he awfully uglyY Such is life
Norristown Herald.
Mrs. Goodington has been shopping.
'The clerks" she says, Created me with
the outermost condensation s long s
they could git anything out o me; but
no sooner had one of 'em found out that
two yards O caliker and hank O yarn
was all ! wanted, than he began scream
ing out Cash. afore he'd half done 'em
up. ] jest told him that if ] didn't have
a tail two yards long dangling to the
eend of my gown and bonnet on the tip
eend O my pug, | wasn't to be insulted
by popinjay like him. He looked cheap
enough, can tell yer, and tried to make
an explication But | guess they don't
think much ON him in the shop, for no
sooner did | take my puss out O my ridi
cnle than up steps raal purity little boy
no bigger n our Steve, and takes the
money right out o the hand OF that sarse
box Boston Transcript.