American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1879-10-18
"a COURSE OF PINCH. /"

Basil Larned had just aired his skep-
ticism, and fatigued with his own elo-
guenoe had thrown himself at.full length
on the library lounge, and was now ca
ressing his handsome mustache with an
air of having settled the affairs of the
universe to his entire satisfaction. His
companion, an old gentleman of 40, who
had listened in silent astonishment to his
grandson's language, finally opened his
mouth and remarked very slowly, but
with unusual expression:
Basil, you're an ASST
The young man thus scathingly apos-
trophized turned his head and laughing
ly surveyed his elderly relative.
''That is just what you are" the old
gentleman continued, and there is but
one thing 1 can think of that might pos
sibly put an end to your braying and turn
you out man; and that is course of
pinch"
ga course of what, STRIP inquired his
grandson, with as much appearance Of
surprise as his lazy attitude would adj
init of.
"A course of pinch,'' said Mr. Larned
" You have had your courses of mathe-
MATES, and rhetoric, and logic, and
French, and German, and goodness
knows what not, and yet you are as I'M
satisfactory dog as ever disgraced the
name of Larned. Now l think if you
could have good course of pinch you
might get to be something decent
6 You mean by that, sir,' said Basil,
still laughing, 8. that it would be good
thing for me if could suddenly be made
poor, and have to sweep floors or black
boots for the rest of my education. Is
that it, grandfatherP''
If you had to wear shabby clothes,
my boy" the old gentleman replied,
" and couldn't afford to buy postage
stamps to send letters to half the girls
in creation, and had no chink to pay for
bouquets and trumpery presents, and no
time to make a splurge over what you
are pleased to call your skepticism -
and now grandfather's nose was elevated
to an unusual angle-s'I do really think
there might be a chance for you. Now
you study just enough to keep your
place in your classes at college, and not
enough to do you any good when you
leave it. presume you have the repu-
tation of being a good fellow, Basil, but
I consider you the biggest simpleton Of
my acquaintance
Basil's laugh was one of genuine
amusement. 1t was very funny to hear
the old gentleman discourse of the fol-
lies of youth forgetting all his own, of
course! And Basil wondered, as he
laughed, what particular kind of
"sprouts - his grandfather had once
taken a " course :" of.
"Any body would think grandfather,
he said, g that you were model young
man. l don't suppose you ever wrote
letters to young ladies. Oh, no! GER
tainly not!''
A flash of annoyance overspread the
old mans face, as he replied: 50 new
er wrote but one letter to girl in my
life, and that was the document in
which 1 asked your grandmother to be
my wife; and / never made any young
lady present until I gave your grand
mother the ring which told of our en-
gagement. Another bit of stupidity
and conceit was never guilty of either,
my boy, and that was to endeavor to
put premium on my intellectual stock
by talking about my skepticism in rela-
ton to spiritual affairs. If l had had
any l assure you should not have been
proud of it. You have read few sci
entific books, and have learned to ring
the changes on protoplasm,' and a
few similar words which really mean no
more to you than to me. A course of
inch would squeeze that nonsense out
of you, my boy. Another thing, Basil
In my time the parents who allowed
their daughters to receive presents from
gentlemen they were not engaged to
would have been very severely, and |
think justly, criticised. Your father al
lowed me to look at your list of expend-
itures the other day, and the turquoises, |
pearls, lockets, chains, reticues, brace
lets, rings, etc, etc, etc, furnish a for
array of proof against the ma
irons of the country, whatever may be
said CT the lack of discretion and wom-
anliness of the daughters.
"Well, 1 declare, grandfather said