The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-06-19
PASSING SMILES.
REGRETS in reply to invitations
should contain the reason therefor.

AID OF educatlOn are the exceptions.
NEVER answer questions in general
company that have been put to others.
Do not do before others anything
which would be called guilty by thy
father.
SENATOR MATT. CARPENTER smokes
twenty cigars day-anything to beat
Grant. ss=z s's=.
LOOK at the pages of your own heart,
and you will see dim reflection of what
the recording angel has written about
you Hartford Journal. ssl ---' 1e6s
AND now an Indiana man has eaten
twenty goose. eggs on awager. Good
enough but isn't there something herein
smacking of cannibalism = Boston
Transcript. @4 a-t
IF Washington will stay dead a few
years longer he will have monument.
Congress has appropriated three thou
sand dollars for monument to mark
the place of his birth. .fas
AN English dog-fancier says that
dogs that curl their tales to the right
are never afflicted with hydrophobla."
This is all we'll enough, but when a fel.
low owns bob-tailed dog, what is he
going to do about i,
FISH and mosquitoes, says the Al
bany Argus, have. e.begun biting at sara
toga Lake." What has Saratoga Lake
done that it should be bitten at? Any
how, we had rather they would bite at
the lake than at us. c0rdtogsan.
THE mosquito has arrived, and from
the way in which he takes hold it is evil
dent that he has taken advantage of the
I'LL -, ..
months to equip himself with the latest
improvements in boring apparatus.
Two colors appear in the fashionable
Partisan stocking, but they are SO dis
tributed that the world is none the wiser
for one of them. The leg is of one tint,
the heel and toe of the other-Boston
Transcript
A CLERGYMAN in Illinois, who had
been marrying several parties of young
folks, was asked by a brother who called
on him how he was getting along. ooh,
finely" he rer lied; "Pm sailing right
along at the rate Of thirteen knots an
hour"
In the opinion of the New Haven
Register, you might as well undertake
to put barn door in your, vest pocket
as to try to convince a woman that she
looks just as we'll in last summers suit as
as she will in something new, fashion
able, and altogether lovely"
The late lamented Julius Caesar is
being vindicated by Mr.. Froude, the
historian. It is too late for Julius to
enjoy it, or receive his back pay from
the government, but the living members
of the Caesar family feel pleased.-M Y
Com. Adv.
THIS from New York: ga four. leafed
clover discovered in the Park yesterday
was worn in her shoe by the fair and
fortunate finder on her return down
town. The luck it brought she would
have preferred to have done without,
for her pocket was picked in the car, she
was too late for supper, and her lover
went to the theater with another girl."
"A LADY not accustomed to raising
poultry set a hen on some eggs, and in
| due course of time brood of chickens
was matched. A friend coming in four
| days afterward, noticing that the little
things looked weak and puny, asked
how often they were fed. Fed" was
the reply, "why, I thought the hen
nursed them "-Ereter Newsletter. ,-
A YOUNG man who saw fellow fall
PROSTATE on the sidewalk in Western
city, drunk and insensible, concluded to
make some observations He accord
| ingly stepped into dark corner from
which point he could see without being
seen. He declares that inside of fifteen
minutes six different men passing along
and seeing the drunken man lying on
the sidewalk, stopped over him and
| went th rouph his pockets
THERE is nothing-absolutely moth
ing-in name, if only the sentiment
be the correct one. What difference did
it make to the patriot whose over
wrought feelings compelled him to pay
a visit to the tomb of Washington that
he mistook the granite ice-hnuse for the
said tomb, and wept profusely and pom
dered profoundly as he knelt at the
door? He never learned his misteke,
and his patriotic ardor has been at fever
heat ever since. -.t'
RICHARD CGUR DE LION was the
most stylish man in England of his
time. When he put on his tin helmet
and cast-iron ulster, and pair of lam
mated steel boots, and picked up club
with an iron knob and steel pike IN
the end, and set forth on crusade, the
fashionable society of that day consid-
cred him just " dressed to kill" And
so he was. And one time when he was
dressed up that way fellow killed
him. e.. .l
| HE took her fancy when he came;
ae took her hand, h. took kiss;
| He took no notice of the shame
Thai giowed her happy cheeks at this
| He took to coming afternoons:
| He took an oath he d ner deceive;
| He took her fathers silver spoons,
And after that he took his leave.
A MANUFACTURER of cod-liver oil
thus defines competition: "The codfsf
in the open sea are pursued by whales
sharks, etc, and live in constant terror
hence, like all animals under the samt
conditions, have liver disease, jaundice
and the rest. l avoid the mistake o.
ordinary manufacturers by obtaining
my fish where no marine monster car
gain access. They live peacefully ano
die healthy. This is why my oil Is th'
best"
AN agricultural journal tells how te
} make very pretty window ornament
Take good-sized sponge, it says, SOW 1
full of rice, oats, or grass seeds, and
place it in dish of water. The sponge
will absorb the water, and when the
seeds begin to sprout, attach a cord Z
the sponge and suspend it in window
We should like to serve some OF ths
good sized sponges" in this neighbor
hood in the manner described, but tn
difficulty is they are already very seedy
!, and will not absorb water worth
| cent.-Noristo,o Herald.
, Glowing Chickens.
Fl. D. Thoreau, says a writer In the
? Boston Herald, was once called upor
, by Mrs. r. w. Emerson, whose flower
garden was being scratched up by thu