St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-09-12
The Farmers Joke.
[From the Detroit Free Press.


TAmp tramp tramp! and a far
mer with solid old fashioned feet, and
hands big enough to cover a Sunday
school excursion, came into the edtori-
al rooms of this paper to say =
"Howdy I've walked down from the
market to give ye the particeIers of
good joke"
"All right-prOceed."
lyon know them lightning rod fell
lers ?" observed the old man as he
dropped into a chair.
"Yes-heard of them"
"Well, you know they're purity tuff
set. Been after me for more'n 20 years.
I've got signs all along the road warn
ing 'em to keep off the place, but 10th
er day one of the chaps driv right up
to the gate, big as life"
..t' 10 did, anu TOre could get
my tongue to going he had about
! tlIo,zsa1d foot of sol ont of tho rvnnnn
and was ready to put it up on the
/ barn"
"What cheek y
sT guess twas, but purity soon l went
for him. had my mind made up to
kill him right there. The old woman
she came out and sailed in with me,
and the two hired men supported me
on the tlanks."
"And you jammed him all to pieces,
of course 7"
"That's where the hull fun comes
in,n answered the old man. "That ERE
feller squared off, shed his coat, and be
licked the whole of us in less'n two
minutes by wig-wag clock ~
"Did, ell 2"
s'You bet he did, and he drunk up a
whole pan of milk and drove off whis-
thing Yankee Doodle Dunn When
got out o. the catnip whar' he piled me
and saw one of the men with his nose
mashed fiat. the other with three teeth
knocked out and the old woman jist
crawling out from under the old bob
sled, l began laffing and didn't stoI
till midnight I-I-!"
He slapped his leg and uttered 4;
''haw haw haww which echoed clea
, to Canada, and in his contortiOns h'
broke the back off his chair.
/, "But the joke was on yOu," said tn
p perplexed journalist.
"Sartin-sartin, but am | such dOd
rotted idiot that can't laff at the wa.
:, we four sailed in on him, calkerlatini
. to mop him all over the barnyard, ant
laff harder yet at the way we all start
Ell in on the Lords prayer afore he ha
9 fairly got the rust off his elbows Whe
l saw Hammer crawling up from anon
the bobs I|n
. And he went off into another fit, an
o chOked and gasped till he went dow
y stairs with his collar hanging by sill
4 gle button.
ANOTHER DEFICIENCY.-At the las
meeting of the Lime Kiln Club, Judg
! SunflOwer Truax, Chairman of the Com
mittee on Foreign Relations, announce
: that he had delicate mission to pei
:, form. He had been requested by th
new ianitor to state that there was
! deficiency in the cash accounts of til
T. old ianitOr. The Treasurer's boOl
n showed that the janitor should hav
!. turned over to his successor the sum
4 l3 cents, whereas he only turned owe
y s. Brother Gardner requested the el
s official to step forward and explain
and he stood up and said
81 tole the new ianefter all about
.,f an, be had 10 bizaess TO Istist<
z Dat S cents was lost down
"A de de' out - de alte-fof;
s. reasiifer should report it S
e. Kin ii 5 Cents be sawn (
: : under Il Ho' ~ imputed the z
i. d and being informed that it
=, - Iappo3nfes 4 cQuloittee Of two
, !, and 3e port lie resul - s:
= - if5sii tai at the old j.fisii1z
~ charge Of eInb en-; s z
Fl Fl tee reported that flil E
nickel Jude, the doof.