Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1879-09-25
FUNNYGRAPHS.

ouires, "Can love die 2" We don't
think it can, but it is occasionally love
sick.-New Hauen Register.
GA FRAUD in Silks" is the start
ling head line in an exchange. All.
went back on you, did she?-Rockland
Courier.
"a hair on the head is worth dozen
in the hssh," says an exchange. But
then it doesn't attract near so much at
tention.-OH City Derrick.
A TOMBSTONE with single cucumber
carved upon it is oftentimes more ex.
pressive than one with ten thousand lines
of obituary poetry.--Phila. Kronikle-
Herald.
A YOUNG lady from st. Louis, visiting
in Cincinnati, says: Its awful handy
to have big Evolutionary with glass
windows to keep the big dictionary and
onethinganother in"
CHOW to Tell Bad Eggs" is the title
of an article in an exchange, When you
have anything to tell bad egg, you
must be careful not to break the shell
while imparting the information.
The Rome Sentinel has an article on
Chow to Detect Ripe Watermelons."
That's easily done, says the Boston Post.
You eat the melon, and if it doesn't give
you grip like Free Mason it is ripe.
YOUNG man never feels 80 much at
oss what to do, as when he takes his
girl to picnic, big ant crawls down
her back and begins to bite just above
the belt, and she begins to scratch for
helm MiddletOaDn transcript,
BULKINs, in referring to the time his
wife complimented him, says the coal
fire needed replenishing, and she pointed
toward the fireplace with commanding
air, and said, "Peter, the grate."-
Bradford Era.
SUITABLE conclusion for French
love-story: "The loss of her husband
worked on her constitution, and she died
twenty-nine years afterwards, aged 81,
though not until she had been twice
again married"
BILL JONES'" said bullying urchin
to another lad, "the next time l catch
you alone I'll fog you like anything"
"Well," replied Bill, 81 amt often
much alone; l commonly have my legs
and fists with me-"
PRISONER, you have committed
frightful murder; at II you have COM
mitted an atrOcious crime which ranks
you with Chastine Cox and the Italian
BARRIERS. The prisoner (modestly) -Sorr,
We father me!
THE Boston Post knows of man,
victim 10 tobacco, who hasn't tasted
food for 40 years." AS for that, we
know Of man, victim to tobacco, who
hasn't tasted food for AZ years. The
tobacco killed him 1882.
A PARK policeman seeing yellow dog
near two handsomely dressed woman,
approaches respectfully and says: "Does
this beauchiful little creachure belong
to you, ladies?" "Mercy, mol" Park
policeman (ifting his cane)-"Get out
o here, you beast"
81 WISH l were you about two hours"
she said, with great tenderness. "And
why, my dear?' he asked with consid-
cradle interest. Because" she said,
toying ahectionately with his watch
chain" because then l would buy my
wife new bonnet"
A LAZY man, says the Yonkers Ga
sette, having wise named Hope, whose
custom it was to pull off her husbands
boots every evening, was wont to exclaim
ca such occasions: How truly it is
said that Hope is the anchor of the
sole.'"
The touching sentiment, "Our first
in Heaven" appeared after an obituary
notice in Philadelphia paper, and the
father of the child came into the office
raging mad. 1t was the third death in
his family, and he desired to know of
the clerk where he supposed the other
two had gone.-New Haver Register.
THERE will be five Sundays in next
February. Think of so much Sunday
night bliss in the shortest month. But
then this won't happen again in forty
years. Let the old gentleman remem-
Der this and be hopeful " hen he lays in
the winter coal supply.-N Y. Eapress
ALL the spelling reforms of all the
men in all the world will not succeed in
lessening the intensity of the schoolboy' s
affection, who scrawls on his slate with a
broken pencil, "i luv you," and hands it
across the aisle, with big apple, to a
pretty little blue-eyed girl who reads in
the second reader, -SteubenvitIe Herald.
BUT even in the most favorite elite
circles never heard better repartee
than one one delivered by a plain
country man on horseback overtaking an
acquaintance trudging along on foot.
May l ride behind your" asked the
pedestrian. Certainly" replied the
horseman, "but not on the same horse"
Mary ", Early, on " Repartee."
AT recent wedding the bridegroom,
being an officer wore his side-arms at the
nuptials, A little wide-awake brother
nj the hriln - I'm l.