The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1879-06-14
BE A GOOD LISTENER.

To be popular, Learn to be good listen
CT and to draw people out by asking lead
ing questions" Most people would rath-
er talk than listen. 1t is more intcrestin"
to them to tell of their own little exploits
than to hear of the great doings of others.
DO not talk to much. "Wordy people
become weariSome in short time. Do
not dwell upon personal matters: they
are not likely to prove interesting to
others, however important they may seem
to us. Leave self out of the question:
Choose just the right word for the right
place-say what you have to say in the
feweSt words and give the preference to
small words.
The great fault with most people in
conversation is that they talk for their
own editication rather than for the pleas
ure of the listener. To be really enter
tanning, ask yourself what subjects are of
the closest interest to your companion.
consult his taste the choice of themes. in
and, SO far as is consistent with honesty.
in the manner of handling them.
Always maintaining your personal dig
nifty. consult the taste and defer to the
opinion of those around YOU. The true
secret of real popularity is self forgetful-
ness.
Do not Civ c the impression of telling all
you know: rather say 4 little and indicate
the possession ola latent power in reserve
DO not throw aside the opinion of others
If it differ from your own; rather weigh
it carefully against your own. and extract
from it whatever the truth and reason it
may contain. Avoid arguments: they sell
dom lend to conviction, often to ill tenn
per.
Confer rather then receive favorS but
do it without ostcntation. Open obliga-
ton is irkSome: the secret of comforting
favors successfully is to work them SO
quietly that the recipient will be consci-
Gus ola pleasurablc result without being
aware of his Indebtedness. Confer rather
Tran receive. but do not deprive people of
the pleasure of doing for you when it is
with pleasure. Sometimes the surcst way
to win friendship, especially with the
young, is to ask favors, but this should be
done cautiously. Use tact in the asking.
choosing the right time, manner and sub
ject. and do not repeat the request oftc:l.
Better open their eyes for them by show
ing them how they may personally be use
full, and then set the example by your
own acts for the good of others.
Do not forget that gratitude is an essen
tial in the matter of favors. However
unselfish our benefactors may be, they
like to feel that their work IL appreciated
Do not, because a favor is often repeated
forget to acknowledge it - often. Use
tact in the manner of doing this, accom-
your thanks to the peculiar ma
ture of the giver. Some people give for
the pleasure of being thanked: to them
profuse thanks are far more grateful than
Il favor in return. They like frequent re-
ference to the pleasure they have afforded
you. Others apparently dislike the ac-
of their favors: but the
p ,rson of fact knows how to touch the
right chords in a few well-choSen words
Of appreciation, or, in some eases. by sig
nifcant acts which express their appreci-
alton of the benefit received. and at the
same time guard an ovcrSenSitivc person
against the disagreeable necessity of dis
cussing his own acts or hearing them dis
cussed by others.