The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1879-07-03
n1aifs And n1hins-


he paid his fsrel" docs every rich
man grosu when ne pays his fsref'
"No; but everyone who does grosn is
rich"
"A correspondent writes US from
Newark that he has made three hundred
and sixty-two words out of "impossi-
ble." Well, that's all right Now, see
how many words you can write on a
postalcsrd, and then get wood-ssw
and 90 to work and earn money to pay
for your clothes and board Hswkeye.
The usher is a variety show st Para.
die, New, stood where he INSTRUCTED
the view of several pc sons In the
audience. a remonstrance drew shot
from his revolver, wounding quiet and
popular young man. The usher wss at
once seized, taken out of the hall, and
hanged to tree. $3.50. 49,. .....
AN absent-minded man in Monroe,
Conn, went to church the other morning
with his overcoat, as ne supposed, on his
arm but the laughter of the people in
church directed his atten ton to the fact
that he had taken his everyday psnts>
looms and that the suspenders attached
to them were dangling about his legs.
When q man enters church duringthe
singing of hymn, and sits down to hear
the sermon, only to see the contribution
box passed around and find that the
services are just over, his feelings are
only equaled by the man who falls asleep
in his pew, and in creamy state calls
to the minister to "set 'em up again.
Some of the dressiest bonnets to be
worn with various costumes, are small
close shapes of Tuscan straw, or else ecru
chip, trimmed with loops of cream
colored satin ribbon and a wide Breton
lace barbe that forms q bow on the
crown, and else strings; inside the brim
is shirred satin, and the fswers on top
are either chrysanthemums or roses.
In q sick room: "Ah, my dear
friend, you are too kind to come and
spend the evening with me, though of
course it can be little pleasure to you"
4" Oh, nonsense you mustn't talk ike
that--mustn't think anything of the sort.
Life isn't all pleasure. We cau't always
expect to do what would be most agree
able for US to do. Soma one had to com
and see you, you know" ---T
Two old Texas herders, who had Just
buried a neighaor, got to discussing re-
Iigion. One asked the other how pious
ne thought it was possible for q man to
get in this world ifhe was in real earnest.
"Wa'af," said the other reAectively,
think eff man gets so't he can swop
steers or trade horses without wing, at
he'd better pull out for the be ter land
before he has a relapse" q. .--.....
Mr.. Beecher likes a joke. On his
recent visit of the Brooklyn regiment to
Montreal the horses for the staff were
furnished at Hartford, Conn. When the
stout, sOlid-looking bay assigned to the
chaplain was led out, Mr.. Beecher asked
the stable proprietor if he was reliable
and sale. Perfectly sc" was the an
swer. che will go anywhere, ia not
afraid of the military or cars. "There
isn't mean thing in hi A." Mr.. Beecher
looked the animal over Tor moment,
and quietly remarked: 81 wish he
belonged to my church"
% knew man once-Jske Mason
who went to q Donation where six
farmers were to contribute jug of milk
apiece. Well, one man, very mean
man, thought it would not make any
difference if he contributed water in
place of milk SO he filed up jug with
water and took it to the donations
When he got there he turned it over the
bung and it run into the barrel where
all the other farmers bad poured their
milk. Now, what do you suppose was
the result? Why, every one OF the six
farmers happened to be as mean as Jack
Mason.-They all brought water.
-" When Little6eld was in England
he one morning tried horse, and the
result was an unexpected exhibition of
form. The horse had an engagement
that very day. and he proposed to Mr..
Sanford to run him. Mr.. Sanford
listened attentively, and then said
Little6eld, think you have been eat
ing pig Now Little6eld knew the
meaning of most phrases, but he could
not understand this. What, do You
mean, Mr.. Sanford p he asked. why,
Just this was his reply. There was
once man who backed himself 70 eat q
pig. On his assurance that he could &C.
complish the task, friend stood some
money on him. The day for the trial
came, when, to the disgust of ais friend,
the man, after getting half through the
pig, was beaten, and put Down his knife
and fork. 81 thought you said you
could eat pig" said the friend in dis.
gust; "and r have lost my money on
youI You can't eat pig" "Wen,n
said the man, " ate one two hours ago. >
That is your case, Little6eld. You hsy.