The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-05-01

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Ofhow to walk.
Always keep to the left by this course
YOU show spirit untrammeled by the
thrall of convention. 1t may irritatc
those YOU meet; but what of that, so
long as their irritation hurts them and
not you?
Tie above rule maybe departed from
with propriety when the person met also
shows an inclination to 60 to the left.
Then, while pretending to do.the same,
dart suddenly to the right. With prac.
tice, by dodging first to one side and
then to the other, you may keep person
at bay for several minutes. Not only is
this q good example physically, but it
affords you IN opportunity to study your
Uis-a-riS. The proper study OF mankind
is man.
By all means carry cane. In the
hands of an expert it is powerful aux
iliary in making pedestrianism a boon.
It should be carried over the shoulder,
the ferrule end on level with the eye Of
the person following in your wake. II
you can contrive to stop abruptly now
and then, it will greatly add to his pleas
ure.
Ifnot convenient to carry the cane as
above, another favorite fashion is to trail
it few feet behind you. The only OBJ
lection to this is that occasionally some
ungentlemanly individual will tread on
your stick and break it. However, the
pleasure afforded your fellows in tripping
over YOUR cane amply compensates tor
the loss of one now and then.
Prodigies may be accomplished with
nm umbrella. When one comes to deal
ing with this, lie quits matters mundane
and scars to the empyrean. 80,
When closed, the umbrella should be
carried under the arm or on the shoulder.
Do this, and the oculist will bless you. ).
When carried under the arm, a feat OF
SURPRISING merit can be achieved by any
one after little practice. This consists
in turning half round suddenly. By this
YOU kill two birds with one stone, or
rather one umbrella. This exploit al
ways calls forth remark,
With an open umbrella great amuse-
ment can be obtained by knocking. OIL
hats, eyes, glasses and even wigs. This is
rather too common to be recommende9
as O novelty, to be sure, but 1t should
not, nevertheless, be overlooked.
Never walk in Il direct path; it is IN
better taste to wabble from side to side
of the walk. This gives any person be-
hind you diversity ofview to the front;
besides which, it exercises the patience
of him who would pass you too eagerly.
Patience being virtue, 1t should be eA-
ercised.
OF course it would be idle to instruct
ladies how to dispose their garments.
They are such consummate experts IN
this matter that we shall attempt but
one reflection.
Trains should be worn rs far back on
the sidewalk as the length Of the material
will allow. In the absence Of train, q
shawl can be substituted. If any i'll
hammered man should step on your trail
ing garments of the day, treat him sum
marily, and in the manner his act
deserves.
Where there are two or three together,
they may live in every heart by walking
with due deliberation and spreading out
to the breadth of the pave.
It's your duty to run into, all the
ladies YOU meet. 1T has Il tendency to
throw back their shoulders, you know.
Ladies are oftencr round-shouldcred than
men. You would best not attempt TINS
with men. They might not appreciate
your well-intentioned attentions.
IF YOU have parcels with you, your
own Sood sense will teach you how to
DISPOSE them so rs to cover all the sur
face possible. The law of gravitation is
your sufficient warrant for this.
With an oil can or paint pot you may
he more potent than the greatest earthly
monarch. The possibilities OF these ac-
ccssorics arc illimitablc.
There might be many more rules laid
down. But the above are sufficient. If
strictly followed. you will be immortal
iZcd-:lnd very quickly.-B0ston Iran-
SCRIPT.