Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-06-26
sips of Fun.

GA beautiful custom prevails
at the stores Of merchants who
advertise.
A Portland woman calls hel
husband good resolutions, be-
cause he is always broke.
When a man wakes up in the
night the first thing that he does
lis to wonder what time it is.
ga man who dies before he is
dead" is what Robert Collyer
calls a misanthrepe.
The fellow who wants to
know what will bring out the
hair should get married.
A contemporary says: "For
spring pests in our issue of
yesterday, read Spring poets. >"
The sign on a returnemigrant's
wagon read: "Rough on Texas.
Going back to my mother-in-
llaw."
If you want your relatives to
| feel terribly anxious about your
health, getsyour life insured in
t1heir favor.
81 vote the way shot," is
sometimes said by a man who,
when tie war broke out, shot
for Canada. !.
A sea voyage is a good rene
dy for hard times. A few hours
from shore and it viii seem that
everything is coming up.
eyes, Agnes, I'm going to
have a cream-colored summer
silk, provided pa doesn't veto
the appropriation ma has pass
ed"
"Nevep" says writer on ct
Iiquette, "take bits out of your
mouth with your hands" Does
the donkey suppose We all wear
bits?
"It may be-" said HefeIspin,
''it may be that a man and his
wife are one; but / notice that
when / come to pay the weekly
board, the landlord does not think
So"
"Sir," said lady TO a would
be wag, "your jokes always put
me in mind of a ball." ''Of
ball, madam! Why so, pray?"
because they never have any |
point"
Wife murder is becoming so
common that a woman about to
wed should make her husband
sign an agreement stating how
many years he intends allowing
her to live.
A dentist broke Mrs. Bag
gers jaw in trying to pull a
tooth. Her son-in-law, with .
whom she lives, did not sue the /;
dentist, but later in the day ,
they were seen drinking to- I
gethcr. ;
Scientists say the sun will {
cease to shine seventeen mil {
lions ofyears hence, but by that t
time Edlson's electric light will Z
be in complete working order, '
and we shall not mourn the loss {
Of Old Sol. Stick a pin in here.
'tEIave you heard the news, 9
my dear?" "No; what?" "That 9
Diana and Florence have made :
up" "No; have they, thought" !
''Yes; each frankly admitted i
that the other was wrong, and, n
perhaps she was too, and now T
they are the best enemies in the =
world" !,
"IIcre," said the farmer, as he p
exhibited broken jar TO the v
manufacturer, 81 packed this b
jar full of butter, and the jar+e
split from top to bottom. Per- 0
haps you can explain the phe- II
nomena." "Oh, yes, l can," k
was the ready reply, "the butter c
vas stronger than the jar" P
"Then, doctor, mine is hope $
ess case-I am indeed attacked q
oy one of those awful maladies .
which science does not treat-tN v
which you do not prescribe for." .
Not SO, not so bad as that-we 5,
-reat such complaints pre- $ ;
scribe for them" "But do the U
Prescriptions d o a any good?" 7 7
Not the least" d
He had very promising boil c,
between his shoulder blades, T
md his wife, who was young Il
md beautiful, and could play on n
he harp, but had not nurscd rc
much in the hospitals, put Il
mustard plaster on it. A law Il
yer subsequently explained to D
him that they didn't grant d
divorces for such causes. 81
INDIGNATION. = "Gentlemen a
IF the. jury" said Mr.. Phelps to f
he twelve of Worthington, j
Minn., who had convicted his n
laughter of selling cider with I'll
,ut Incense, "all I'vc got TO say Il
s, you're set Of jackasses, and e;
7ou may wave your ears over "
hat solemn truth" Mr.. Phelps h