The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-12-04

tOf our ia llDH DhIlSS DtT uulE.
ea New York Express.
Advice to dressmakers-Be sure you
are right and then gore ahead New
York Star.
The Utes don't know any more than
20 many jurymen about the massacre.-
New York Mail.
Moody and Sankey propose to fight it
out in ST. Louis if it takes all winter,
and it will.-[Bufalo Express.
In Zululand young folks fight and get
married. Here they get married and
fight Cincinnati Saturday Night.
An Indiana writer calls for a definition
Of mince pie. 1t is a sort of a nit
cadamized chowder,--[ New York Herald.
Little Gertie (after waiting some time
Tor dessert )-"Uncle, don't you have
anything after dinner?" Uncle--"Yes,
dear, the dyspepsia"
1t is very evident that the Honorable,
the Assistant Secretary of State, John
Hay, has outgrown his little breeches.-
philadelphia Times.
"Ere's go. Hexpectin' of hus to
look hout for hicebergs, an the decks hall
covered with wet paint! Blast their
bloomin' heyes. ~ Puck.
Miss Emma Thursby declares that she
is a singer, but not an actress; though we
suppose she can have her diamonds stolen
just the same.- Buffalo Express.
care we nation Of liars?" asks the
New York Herald. Why, no, sir--wth
the. exception, perhaps, of Agnes jerks
and the Widow Oliver Buffalo Ex-
press. ....
During recent food in Spanish
town a theater was washed away with
other buildings, and it was the greatest
sail of seats ever known there Cincin-
natl Saturday Night.
A Connecticut woman sued man for
taking off his hat to her on the street, ,and
thess jury gave her Sc damages. They
don't put on any scoElops in Connecticut.
= Detroit Free Press
A fashion magazine says: "Ulsters will
be worn somewhat longer this winter"
Well, then, by st. George, the men who
wear them have got to wear stills, that's S
ALL Burlington Hawkeye.
The just published report of an Irish
benevolent society says: 'Notwith-
standing the large amount paid for med
icine and medical attendance, very few
deaths occurred during the year"
The man or woman who has never
ioved, Rugged, kissed, played with,
listened to, told stories to, or thoroughly
spanked child, has missed the cardinal
joys of life.-[New Haven Register.
"My dear boy" said an Oil City father
to his son, "Washington could not tell
lie" "Humphn' said the young philos-
opher, 81 guess he didn't try very hard;
could tell one" ."-[Oil City Derrick.
Before the show-window of picture
shop: First gamin to second-"Say, Bill,
come away; don't be lookin' at them
pictures o bally dancers or folks'll take
yer for "a Harvard freshman. Boston
Post.
Scene, Broadway, just out of Wall
street-"Bill, you weren't down to-day"
"No-mother's dead. How's Erie?'
"Forty-eight; three; when will she be
buried%' Saturday, at 2. Get me 200
ataquarter." ...
what became of Poor Lucy Neil,
anyhow" asked one colored brother of
another. '"Well," was the reply, "she
couldn't git no one to marry her, till
finally Old Dan Tucker."-[ Cincinnati
Saturday Night.
Let boy place his stockings in an
iron chest as he goes to bed, and lock
them in. with six padlocks, and in the
morning one stocking will be found un.
der the bed and the other on the stairs
Detroit Free Press s
Maud-And now you've shown me all
your favors, DEAR do tell me who was
there-the men, of course, mean. Alice
%, let me see There were lots of Har
ward men, OF course--yes, and some rea
men, Harvard Lampoon.
Tom Scott receives salary of $25,00(
year. For this reason we believe the
stories of his intended resignation on ac
count of poor health are false. No per
son could afford to have poor health on
that salary.--[Oil City Derrick.
A deaf mute used the new audiphone
"Can you pay me that $5T'- these were
the first words he heard. 81 prefer tc
remain in my original condition." he
said, sternlv, and threw the audiphont
out of the window Buffalo Express.
Lord c., whose popularity was moi
excessive in the Scotch town of A
having refused an importunate beggar
she renewed her applications with Now
me lord if ye'd just give me one littlt
sixpence | could treat every friend VI
have in the town." ''.
a thtee-year-old little girl was taugh,
to close her evening prayer, during the
temporary absence Of her father, with
"And please watch over my para" i
sounded very sweet, but the mother
amazement may be imagined when th,
child added, "And you better keep al
eye on mamma, too" r4 .ts.A
A young lady, who had been married
a]ittle over a year, wrote to her matter
of-fact old fa.he.., s. saying: VI I'VE have