The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1879-09-04
NUMBER 25.
PITH AND POINT.

THE man afraid of tramps has tied up
his dog and put up a notice, "Laborers
Wanted, ,r-Bosto,s Post.
"IF yu want to git at the aktual value
Of a peakok," says Josh Billings, buy
a bob-tailed one, and then estimate ON
him.
any dear boy" said careful Oil City
mother, ''it's raining to-day, so don't go
in swimming or you'll get wet. '-OR
City Derrick.
THERE is no tomorrow, say the philos
ophers; but tho Detroit Free Press says
the rule has an exception when you
promise your wife new bonnet on that
day. -
IT destroys half the pleasure OF SUM
mer resort to hear II man eat soup ut the
dinner table like the last few gallons OF
water being sucked out of a batli-tub
by the waste Wheeling S"netay
LeaIer.
IT is said that the editor of the Balti-
more Sun has the grandcst mansion OF
any newspaper man in America, but
none of the craft will be jealous. We
all know how much trouble it is to keep
trees trimmed up and statrary mopped
| off Detroit Free Press.
IT should reconcile the average reader
to the intense heat which we are now
enduring to reflect that, without 1t, there
could be no corn. A hot summer means
an abundant corn crop, and plenty OF
that cereal will give the country cheap
whisky = Washington Post.
A CONNECTICUT paper prints this as
| tonishing statement: Friday, one Of
our Selectmen, f. w. Bartlett's OK, re-
ceived a severe cut in one of its fore feet,
by causing a scythe to fall, which was
! hanging on a tree under which he was
standing.
"FEMALE barbers,n said Snodgrass,
repeating Il paragraph announcement
he just read in the paper, s. don't be-
lieve in 'em." "Why not?'' we asked.
s.Because | remember what trouble
Sampson got into by letting woman
cut his hair"
LAST year a man patented a fan which,
fastened to the. back of rocking-chair,
was made to work by the motion of the
chair. This year some one has fashion,
ed fan whose motive power is the sew
ing g-machine; and next year we see no
reason why combined fan and t1y-brilsh
shall not be invented, to be attached to
boarding-house tables and operated by
the innate strength of the butter
Louisville Courier-Journal.
THEY were walking along the village
street, and they were newly welded,
husband and wife. The air was insult
ferably hot, when he, looking at the
signs: "ice-cold soda and "lemon
/ ice-cream, said: '.Darling, ice is very
bad for the teeth; it ruins the enamel. >
Then she took out her new set and put
ting them gently behind the tying post.
said: "Sweety, we will take all
the precautions and save all the en-
;lmel.n
IT is pretty fair to test mans birth
and breeding to dine with him in pub
lie restaurant. If he bullies the walters
and generally revels in an air of lordly
4 authority, it is safe to say that he is en-
joying a luxury comparatively unfamil-
lar to him. The man who is born to
command will always be respected,
without any conspicuous effect on his
part, by the people he employs. The
man to whom position of authority Is
, something new and abnormal may make
his subordinates fear him; but that is
! all. A gentleman may stand on his
: head habitually, and his interiors will
! not dare to venture upon an imperti.
nence; but shoddy, though encased in
the triple brass of pomposity, can not
2 cheat the keen and certain valuation o1
: the servants eye.-Puck.