Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-05-16
linnar.
True to the core--The apple-werm.
In the midst Of life we are in debt.

on account of their Gilt any more than
men.
Think twice before you speak; especi.
ally At am auction sale ct old tin pans.
/ A young man SAYS: You can get
round the gnls NJ NaSsar easy enough,
they suok.gum 50 readily, and are so
Nassar.aung.
/ A delicate way vi oomplimentng the
old lady" ALI, madame, YOU grow
every day to look moro like your dangh.
ter,
As she set the dish of frozen pigs
teet on the table she remarked to her
husband" Here's ylur solid souse
nov"
Mike, and IS i, yourself that can
be after tellin' me how they make ice
cream " lit is, throth can. Don't
they bake il in cold ovens, to I've sure Z"
Isn't my photograph excellent ?"
said Young wife to her husband.
well, my dear" replied he. "theros
Ia little too much rcpoSe about the
mouth for II 70 he natural.
The moon is always just the same,
he said, languidly, land yet | always
find some new beauty in il" Its
I just SO with the clreus" she answered.
He took the hint, and bought tickets
! for two.
A good square kick will sometimes
help man further along III tins world
toward independence and prosperity
than y dmen pulls hy the hand. oil
tity Dt1t&.
NAV ,,.,,t ! IL, ~ !, 6,r. t,IIN .,5,,, 49,,
out u fact quicker than any newspaper
writer living, hy the simple process OF
Harvesting It up to his imagination,
AN honest Hihernian, III recommend,
ing u COW, said she woald give milk
year after year without having calves.
because" said ne, lit runs IN the
hrde; for she came 81 dcow that never
had u calf,
TnE 4-yonr-old child is an admirable
nucleus fora circus party. As many
NJ fifteen persons have boon known Ia
take an afternoon oil just to "see that
the elephant didn't step en the little
fellow '-Nc,p Hdnsa Register.
Patriek--"And, Biddy, darlint, they've
been tellin me there's too many Of us
in the wurrld. Now, il you and mo get
the praste to make us two wan, troth
;horo will he wan the lessg' Fanny
Folks.
A young man went into florists
store other dry to buy Il rosebud for
his atlianced. Seventy.Evc cent was
the price asked win it koop@ in
Qnirod tho young man. Oh yes, IL
hong while. Then you may keep it.
a mules head does not contain
brain capable Of culture and refined
rearing, hut it is wonderful to what an
extent the other end Of his form can be
reared.
An umbrella can't got ahead OF cod.
fish III keeping II person dry. But, then
il would sound funny 10 have your
neighhor come over IN u thunder
shower and ask To borrow your Goldfish.
A black stocking with II yellow snake
coilcd around tho leg, is the latest nov
city. When the girls sc. TO wearing
these stocking thousands Of men will he
anxious to SEQ snakes.
stop sending TO mo your jornel emmy
more. ass You didn't notis the higg hogg
me husband hutChered Sunday, and u
don't iit my pantry shelves ennyhow.'
The husb-no, the "hogg" weighed 3s7.
Epitaph on tombstone in South ca
rolna. Here il tho body Of Robert
Gordin, mouth almighty and teeth ac-
cordin; stranger, tread lightly over this
wonder: il he opens his mouth YOU are
gone by thunder"
An orator who much in demand in
political campaigns, being n ked by an
admirer the secret of his success, re.
piled "When ! have facts, give en-
facts; but when haven't, / yell and
saw the mir. -
The worst thing that can be said OF
the house fly is that il sometimes 40
bothcrs the minister while he is preach
ing that 1t makes il appear to the con.
gregation that he is winking ut ono OF
the Sunday school sisters in the gallery.
~ Phaddeiphia Chronicle Herald.
my dearest Maria, wrote II recently
married BROOKLYN husband ~ his wife.
She wrote back Dearest, let mo cor
rect either your grammar or your NOR
ala. You address mo My dearest Mn.
rim Am to suppose you have other
dear Maras2p
The amazement and surprise Of the
small boy will be NJ it's height when he
discovers that his fathers cow is u foot
arger every way than the mammoth
mountain Of flesh" that takes the part
Of the elephant in the circus. -New Ha.
nm Register.
She figured up; 1.-TWO cans ut 20 cents.
40 cents--that Is 100 oysters; milk, but.
ter and sundrios, 81 80 that il 100 stews,
ut % cents, will be $40. A net prof, Of
over $35." Then she smiled sweetly,
and the oysterman knew that she WAS
the refreshment committee Of the
church festival.
Dearest, lot Us IN this cafe refresh
ourselves for n brief period" said a
swell young man 70 Spirituelle
creature. "Whatll you have2' said the
waiter, handing the lady bill Of fare.
"Oh, never mind the bill Of lare," she
replied; give me plate Of Goldfish
cakes with plenty Of butter" The
young man tainted.
The peach crop is going 10 be unusu
ally large and "A very bpaulifIll HDriu1