The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-09-04
DRIC-lf-E

-Pcppcrmint is tho royal perfume
of the Sandwich Island dignitarics.
-.Abhorism by Il perfectly reckless
Dcllc: HBc ilirluous and YOU will be
happy"
Carl SchuZ preface at Toledo:
"llolt on midt dot curtain! lsh dose
tree hnntcrL tolar on hant? Ale
rccht! Let dose musickSs thruck up"
"A loaded pistol placed upon II
Paterson, \. D., mantle as one of The
ornaments, fulfilled its mission when
! the girl came along with the feather
dustcr.
-"Ah! yes" said Mrs. Partin"ton,
some years ago on February -, rs she
watched the military pass by. "Ah!
yes, Washington is dead, and the worst
OF it is that his mantlcp' Gee don't seem
to have fallen Oh anyman now living"
They have had Il very sad affair at
West Point. A lady at CoZzcn's told
her mamma that all the cadets wear
White pants; whcrcupon Il man said,
$50 do their sisters, their cousins. and
their auntS;" and hc had to be shot
through the heart.
Colonel Billboro, who was recent
ly hanged at Canton, said on the scat
fold that he was going straight to
Heaven. An old negro in the crowd,
who evidently wanted to send Il mes
sage said to the condemned man, "Ef
you see Aunt Polly Lott tlar, tell her
howdy."
Iowa has q doctor who cures the
OH the head ofa cat and rubbing the
blood
is the feline instinct that drives The
harmless necessary cat to the roof o.
nights, to yield its best blood TO heal
the shingles!
when that blatant stalwult editor
OF the Lcmars, Iowa. Sentinel went
home the other evening, his wife re-
marked: "lsuck, who's been a-li@htin'
OF your Buck replied something
about trying to capture the brigadicr-
general of grammar school, and that
was all he would say.
"A contemporary SAYS that "mcct
her by electric light is preferable
TO gas metre" But the old metre,
in which is sung the numbers of love,
is to be chosen before either. We alludc
to ''mcct her by moonlight alone" 1t
is chccpcr too-if there arc no ice
cream saloons near at hand.-- Norris
toWn Xcruld.
"A rule of the Illinois Central Rail-
road provides that dogs shall not ride
in passenger car; but Il big and tcro-
cious bulldog walked into Il car at
Chicago, appropriated II whole scat,
and rode three hundred miles unmo-
lcstcd: Gle had such II meaning
smilc," was the conductors apology
for not cjccting him.
Says Joaquin Miller, writing of
the river Thames: "By the side olthis
great commercial artery of the earth
broods Lonlon-brools, and broods,
and broods." lie might have added
with equal force and truth that it
broods, and broodS, and broods, and
broods, and broods, and broods, and
broodS, and broods, and broots, and
broods.-RochfaMa Couiicr.
England cducutcs her artillery
and engineer officers at Woolwich,
nine miles southeast ofLOndon, where
Il royal dock was cstab liShru us far
back as the reign Of Henry NlII, the
toval Harry having been built there
in 1912. The artillery headquarters
were not established until the close Of
the last century, the Royal Arsenal
having been placed there some years
before.
--''Thcodorc," observed a solicitous
young mother to her husband, IL think
| Will not lct little Georgia attend Sun
day school any more. find the Door
boy is quite fcvcrish tonight, and his
feet are all blistcrcd." Upon hearing
which Georgia inwardly groans, fur
next Sunday they were to meet for the
last time to settle the number of quar-
tcr-miics walked, and he knows now
| That chance for any share in the
twenty-five cents gate money is gone
forever.
-Gco"~c Thompson was on his
dcatli-bcd in Il hospital ~ Lexington,
IL. lie sent iur a police detective
and confessed that ne was fugitive
murderer from Tennessee, savingihat
he did not wish to die with the crime
, on his conscience. But he soon rallied
and there being hope Of his recovery,
he declared that the confession must
have been Il freak Of dclirium. as he
remembered nothing about il, and ccr-
ta:niy. never killed anybody. How
ever, he bad time before he died to
confess anew what was found to be the
truth.
The patcrnal author Of the belle of
Saratoga the other day, shortly after
his return to the springs, was ap-
preached by Il youth, requested a few
minutes conversation in private, and
began: 81 was requested to sec YOU,
sir, by your lovely daughter. Our at
tlchmcnt-" "Young man." inter
riuptcd tho parent, briskly, III don't
know what that girl Of mine is about.
You are the fourth gentleman who has
approached me this morning on the
subject. :! have given my consent to
others and [ give it to you. God bless
you'll"
a GooD JOKE ON SENATOR RANSOM.
There is good story told at the cx-
pcnsc of Senator Ransom, Of this State.
The senator was a guest at the Atlantic
hotel, Beaufort, on the night when the
storm swept the hotel away, and barely
escaping himself, stood at the side of
Colonel !. j. Young, in safe place.
Both gentlemen were gazing at the
/ hotel Whnn Spnofpr ISnncDn, ~,