Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-12-06
THE PARADox1cAL PARADoxEs.

Oniy Iniee years, Saslu MIS-. Paradox, S0r-
''Three years of cat and dog quarreling, COM
mented her husband. grimly.
You said the pink damask window curtains
were Just the color OF my cheeks!" faltered Mrs.
Paradox.
.'And even then, if you'll be good enough to
recall the fact to your memory, Mrs. p" re
the pattern of the carpet. nor whether the walls
should be kalsomined or papered!.
doX, with pursed-up lips.
"And never shalt said Mr.. Paradox.
Perhaps it's better, on the whole, that we are
to separate said the lady.
rattling t lie money indi1erently in his pocket.
I'VE never were suited to one another" sighed
Mrs. Paradox.
tried for it, remarked the husband.
Its pity we hadn't found it out before we
were married" said Mrs. Paradox.
"Better late than never" said Mr.. Paradox.
"iOu said you loved me- said Mrs. Paradox.
''Well, thought did"
81 might have known that men were deceivers
.'Oh. come now, Abby Jane that isn't fair"
said Mrs. Paradox. ''Our first quarrel was when
you turned Rover out of the parlor-the old
Newfoundland that had saved my life"
NO it waSnt!' said Abby, with spirit; sit
was when you called my Aunt Anastasia IAN
Old bore and said you wouldn't take her to the
Wednesday evening prayer meeting! My Aunt
Anastasa, with property and temper like
Angels"
"lhats all very WELL" said Mr.. Paradox
''but you seemed to have forgotten that you
treated my friend Dickens as If he had been a
house breaker when brought him Unexpectedly
to dinner"
''You refused to take me to the seaside when
DR.. DObk1nS said that the waters were essential
to my health flashed out the lady.
You wouldn't consent to have my mother
come come and live with u.s." retorted Mr.. Paradox,
twiching his muStache.
III your mothers temper was half as bad as
yours" began Mrs. Paradox flushing up to
the very roots OF her hair.
''There you go again. said Mr.. Paradox, be-
ginning to pace savagely up and down the room
Who on earth could be expected to put up
with this sort of thing?"
longer" said Mrs. Paradox, drawing herself up.
'.rhank goodness, no." said Mr.. Paradox.
1.-The lawyers will arrange all that" enun-
ciated the lady.
..The sooner the BETTER" said her husband.
''Of course it will make dreadful scandal,
me going home to mamma, and all!' faltered
Mrs. Paradox.
'.Not at ALL" said Mr.. Paradox; separations
are common things nowadays"
:'And dare say" cried out the wife, "that as
soon as you get to the horrid place that you're
going to, you'll be making love to some other
woman"
mot l." said Mr.. Paradox, quite unmoved by
his spouse's tauntS. ''Tve had quite enough Of
that sort of thing, thank you"
Heres the lawyer, coming to draw the pa
pers,' said Mrs. Paradox, looking out from be-
tween the rose-colored damask curtains, and
I'm glad of it,
$50 am l." said Mr. Paradox, with flinty-
heart ted callOuSneSS.
you're a brute!" cried the wife.
$50 you have often remarked before p" said the
husband, biting off the end of cigar.
THAT'S no reason you should insult me by
smoking In my presence"
.'Do not be afraid, maG.arn-you have already
taken quite sufficient opportunity to inform me
OF your advcrsion to my habits"
And only the entrance of the lawyer sufficed
to arrest impending hostilities.
1t was quite true
Mr.. and Mrs. Paradox, after union of three
years, had agreed that they couldn't agree, and
were to sign legal separation.
1t was altogether the best thing-in fact the
only one they mutually decided.
1t had been scold, scold, carp, carp, fret, fret,
every since they had walked out of the church
porch.
Domestic peace had long ago folded her wings
and tioated out of the window; love and tender
sympathy had shrunk, startled away.
And at the end OF these three years friends had
been called in council a solemn session of rela-
tiveS had been held, and MI. and Mrs. Paradox
were going to separate
you're sure you don't care for her, Louis? !"
Paradox's dearest friend and college chum had
said TO him.
"oh, that's quite thing Of the past" said
Paradox, with shrug OF the shoulders
''You have ceased to love him, dear?" Mrs.
Paradox's mother questioned her child.
'.Oh, mamma, long ago!" declared poor little
Abby, with streaming eyes.
SO the papers were signed, and Mr.. and Mrs.
Paradox separated in good earnest.
Abby Jane went back to the maternal home
and Mr.. Paradox took up his quarters in hotel
until he could arrange for his final departure
But the night before he was to sail the waiter
came up to his room and announced, "a lady,"
ats my MOTHER" thought Mr.. Paradox who
was sitting staring into the red Goals Of the
CRATE as II they were riddle that he was trying
to read.
But it was not his mother.
1t was his wife!
ats only me- Louis" said, Abby, trembling
all over. IL wanted to speak just word OF
two to you before you went away-forever'
Are YOU not satisfied with the allowance?"
said Mr.. Paradox, gloomily.
ION, quite, it's more than generous said
Abby, hurriedly. "Only, Louis l couldn't help
telling you one or two things before we part;
| should have let him stay, only-only, was Il
little out OF temper that day. And i've asked
your mothers pardon for refusing to let her live
been great help and comfort to me. And
think, Louis, that should feel better If you
would say you forgave me for scolding so much
about your cigars And"
"Stop!r said Mr.. Paradox. at isn't right
Abby, that all the apologies should be OPS our
side. I've been wrong myself"
oh, no, Louis, MOI" cried out the little wife,
bursting into tears.
Eyes was-about your aunt" declared Para
HShe was dreadfully trying old creature, y
owned Abby, .sand knew it ali the time"
''But should have treated her civilly,' per-
sisted Mr.. Paradox. Sand shall always re-
Sret, ADDy, InaU ulu not give you unaC season
at the seaside"
Dear Louis, don't talk so. Ali ask of you is
to forget and forgive my horrtd temper" be-
sought Mrs. Paradox.
IF there is any forgiveness" said the hus-
band, with softening eyes, lit is that need it.
l have acted like fool'
1--WE have both been foolish" timialy sug-
geSted the WIFE,
But because we have been idiots 1t don't fol-
low that we need be for the future" said MI.
Paradox, holding out both his hands. Abby,
shall go, or shall stay?" Speak quickly; it is
for you to decide"
.'Stay," whispered Mrs. Paradox.
He folded her close to his breast
Little wife, he said, ''let US go down to old
Parchment'S Office and tear up those papers OF
separation"
II don't care how soon you do it," said Mrs.
Paradox, laughing and crying in the same
breath.
.'And them"
''And then," said Mrs. Paradox, twisting the
second button Of her husbands coat round and
altogether new platform
sjOf course there was general gust of gossip
about 1t; people said that sit was very strange
that the ParadoXeS didn't know their own
minds"
But Mr.. and Mrs. Paradox were suited, and,
after all, that was the main thing.
One of the Modern COnveniences.
AS one of the most prominent young burglars
OF San Francisco was walking out of court the
other day, just after having secure an acqulttal
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