The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1879-10-08
FEMININE NOTES.

The beauteous, buxom, Berthy Bangs
Is one of the divinest girls,
. She bangs the doors, and bangs the chairs,
And likewise bangs her auburn eurls.
She bangs on the pianny, too,
And bangs upon her light guitar;
And oh, of all the bangs She bangs
She mostly Gangs her auburn hair.
o banging bouncing, buxom belle,
The poets Tyre with rapture twangs,
Responsive to the influence
of thy beloved and beauteous bangs.
81. Louis TTnaes-JournaL
APHoRIsM by a perfectly reckless
belle: "Be fiirtuous and you will be
happy
AN individual who called his first
daughter Kate, when his wife sur
prised him with another girl, prompt
ly christened her Duplicate
ALL the axes and bucksaws found
in the ruins of Pompeii are of light
make, as If constructed for woman's
use. Those old ancients knew their
little business.
Miss Penney was saved from drown
ing by Jonathan Smith. In equity
she belongs to Smith from this time
hereafter, because a Penny saved is a
Penny earned.
AN agricultural society offered a
premium for ''the best mode of irriga-
ton" which was printed /" irritation"
by mistake; whereupon an honest
farmer sent his wife to claim the prize.
/ The young King of Spain goes
around with his arm in a sling He
gives out that he fell from carriage,
but it's noticeable that the Madrid Fe-
male Archery Club has disbanded.
CHESTERFIELD said, and thousands
re-echo the cry, that no one is excusa-
bic for being out of fashion; but we'd
like to know what the deuce a man is
to do who has married when blends
were the style.-B0Ston Post.
AN old Bridgeport Conn woman,
who has pasted nearly five thousand
medical recipes in book during the
past forty years, has never been sick
a day in her life, and is growing dis
Outraged; some people are born to i'll
luck, she says.
A BosToN wife softly attached Pc
dometer to her husband, when, after
supper, he started to 90 down to the
office and balance the books. On his
return, fifteen miles of walking was
recorded. He had been stepping
around a billiard table all the evening.
AN old farmer intent on making his
hx-f f,r.l I.
of his wife. when he gravely replied:
"Well, indeed, | really don't recoIlect
what it is; we've been married for up-
ward of forty years, and / always call
her my old woman" The lawyer left
a blank, to be filed up when the old
wOman's name was ascertained.
/ A YOUNG lady advertised for maid.
One applied, and, in response to the
inquiry whether she was quick, she
replied: "Ohl so quick that | will en-
gage to dress you in half an hour"
ain half an hour" reiterated the
young lady, "and what shall do the
rest OF the day?"
You may talk about equality and all
that sort of thing, but until a woman
can go weeks journey with no other
baggage than a clean handkerchief
and a toothbrush, she can never hope
to occupy a position upon the same
exalted plain with US who are natures
lords of the universe.-Erchange.
/ They were talking about the weight
of different individuals in a certain
family, and the daughters young man,
who was present, spoke up before he
thought, 81 tell you that Jennie amt
so very light, either, although. she
! looks so" And then he looked sud-
denly conscious, and blushed, and Jen-
ME became absorbed in studying q
chrome on the wall.-.Syrdeuse Herald.