Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-12-26
THE WEDDING FEE.

How very dark and stormy twas on
! that March EVENING" The doors and
windows kept up a perpetual rattle !;
violent gusts of wind and daslies of rain
now and then beat against the house,
as if bound to seek shelter therein.
Little Robby was sound asleep in his
crib, and the minister and his wife were
spending the evening together in the
cosy sitting room. The hour for retiring
had come, and while Mrs. Watson was
bustling about, picking up and adjusting
the numberless concerns which nobody
but careful housewife can ever see or
think of, there came violent ring of
the bell.
''Mercvw exclaimed Mrs. Watson,
somebody must be dying or dead. What
a dreadful night for you to go out imp
Mr.. Watson opened the door and
peered into the darkness. Not human
being could he see or hear. A few seconds
passed, when a loud, gruf voice was
heard, asking:
"Can you splice US to-nightS"
For an instant the minister was con-
fused, not being accustomed to the use
of that nautical term in relation to the
duties of his profession. A second
thought, however, made clear to him
the possibility that splicing might be
within the limits of his particular prov
ince and so raising his voice above the
storm, he replied:
'If you mean to ask me, sir, to marry
you, l shall be happy to perform the
ceremony. Is the lady with you%
"Ha, hal that's good one! Sara Ann,
you mean? Don't suppose I'd come to
get the knot tied without her, do YET
No, sir; she's right here in the cart"
Mr.. Watson need not have stepped
back to inform mis- wife of the great
event which was to take place, for she
had heard all the conversation, and was
using her utmost endeavors to expel the
laugh from her countenance before the
happy pair appeared.
It must be confessed that the sight
of the couple was not conducive to
gravity. They had passed good while
since the bloom of youth, and made no
special efforts to conceal the fact. Both
had evidently come directly from their
work, which, indeed, the gentleman
proceeded to intimate.
"Fact is, parson, 'tis rather bad night
outside; and I says to Sara, whats the
use let's not fix up bit, but go just as
we are. The knot'll hold Just as well as
if we had on our best bib and tucker.
And besides, parson, we want to take
the oldsfolks by surprise, and they'd be
sure. to 'spect something if we'd gone to
work and put on all the riggin's." Mrs.
Watson was glad of this little opportu-
nity to smile, and promptly improved it.
What would she not have given for the
privilege of a good, hearty laugh
I,sof anr,nfrT1nI Mz
and Mrs. Watson extended their con-
gratulations.
THAR" broke in the newly married
man, 'is the ticket; guess you'll find it
0. K. Now Sara, let's be goin'. Plaugey
tough ride before US. Good bye, parson.
Good bye, ma'am. Much obliged for the
job. Hope to do as much for you some
time"
The 'cart" ratified away, and Mrs.
Watson into whose hands her husband
had delivered the certificate, made haste
90 open it, thinking that, after all, il
wasn't best to judge people by the out
side. and that the strange man might
have done something by way of fee.
There 1t was A bill Yes, and upon it
the magnificent figure of one dollar
"Well, do declare" shouted Mrs.
Watson, "isn't this too mean for any
thing? Shame on that man; he don't
deserve to be married"
Now, my DEAR" said the minister,
you should not be too hard; for think
you had at least dollars worth of
enjoyment out of the occasion"
Yes, sir; and noticed somebody
who seemed to keep from laughter"
Next day little Robby's shoes were.
bought with the wedding fee, the min
isters clothes were brushed and cleaned
for the hundredth time, and the good
lady, by dint of extraordinary manage.
ment made the old dress answer an ex-
cellent purpose
The spring passed away, and the sum-
mer in all its beautiful bloom and abund-
ant fruitfulness came on. The wedding
on the stormy night had almost passed
from the minds of the minister and his
wife; albeit, now and then she would
break out with a laugh. and ask her
husband if he didn't think it was nearly
time for him to splice another couple.
One day, as the happy little family were
eating their dinner, and Just as the
parents were feeling unccmmonly proud
Of some smart thing little Robby had
said, there came just such another ring,
ing of the bell as that heard on the
stormy night.
We'll, there" said Mrs. Watson, zone
would think for all the world that the
splice man had come again"
Before the minister could reach the
door it was opened, and astonishing to
relate, there stood the identical hero of /
the Wedding occasion.