The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1879-05-22

my work for to-day is complicated
said the sewing-girl. "Ah," sew it ISL
replied friend.
Bob. Toombs says Tilden can't be elect
ed President. But it's only voice from
the Toombs.
Speaking of "the code" why don't
some ambitious Southron call Old Zach.
Chandler out :?
The Gentle who-has a Co.'s wife should
alwa.s .oe merry-but the Mormon will
always be m arrier.
Sympathy not we'll received-to remark
to lady who has powdered" her face
"Oh, how pale you look p
When O Southern statesman is beaten
in debate, his greatest remaining ambi-
tion is to be shot by Yankee"
Russia is generally regarded as a cool
country, but the Gar just now finds it
fully as hot as he could wish.
Little boy, you should remember that
while this beautiful weather is fun for
you, it is death to the spring chicken.
Wade Hampton attempted last week,
to obliterate his political TRAIL but Sena-
tor Window proved that Wade's foot fit
ted the prints.
The Democrat who thinks he is big
ger man than old Edmunds, of Vermont,
would be pretty hard to lay hands upon
just now.
Brooklyn will soon be taking on airs
She has witnessed the end Of the Tai
mage trial, and now has the champion
prize fighter.
Northern Democratic journals have
been trying to hedge on that Okolona
Statesman Southern Democratic journ
ais endorse him.
AS the grocer hung up doubtful look
ing ham in front of his store, he face
tiously remarked that "the fruit he
brought forth was meat for repentance"
"Ah," said the old man, as his life was
fast ebbing away, "all can do is to leave
Will to divide my property-the Way
will doubtless be settled by the lawyers
Alex. Stephens would have the Gov
ernment stop raiding the illicit distillers
in Georgia, because it don't pay. But
perhaps the Revenue officers think diff
ferently.
The Greenbackers will make a very
great mistake if they coalesce with the
Democrats. They should hitch teams
with the Prohibitionists, and "sweep the
country"
With regard to the financial agitation,
it is consoling to reflect that the people
of the next century will be bored by 9TH
er fools, as badly as the people of to-day
are bored by those now in Congress.
After bringing in testimony to prove
that DR.. Talmage was a very great liar,
and generally bad man, the Brooklyn
Presbytery voted to sustain the DR.. This
is a queer world
Zach. Chandlers enemies now assert
that he was drunk when he made his re-
cent "stalwart" speeches Then there are
millions of people who are constantly
drunk.
Ohio is reaching out toward the White
House again. Cow Bishop has been over
at Gramercy Park, ciphering with Uncle
Sammy, and who knows who may occupy
the second place on the Democratic tick
ct?
In Will. Kernan's sPoem-"Southland
occurs this line: "Oh, Morgan, leading
meteor like thy cavalry in fght" This
was a mistake in the compositor who
left the out of the last word
If the British Government wants to
"get away with" the Zulus it should EN-
ploy Gen. Mcclellan to go and assist
Lord Chelmsford. Mcclellan and Chelms-
ford could tire King Cetewayo to death
with waiting for them to advance.
What will the Democrats do now ?"
asks the Cincinnati Gazette. Don't know;
but we can tell you what they'll do next
election day. if you don't watch them
and that's stuff every ballot box in Gin
cinnati.
Ben. Hill wanted it made lawful to kill
every Union soldier found within the
Confederate lines; but when Sherman
went tearing around the State of Georgia,
singularly enough Ben. wouldn't come
forward and kill him.
johnnie, who is that with Jane at the
gate, yonder," asked the "old man."
peering through the gloom "It's her
beau" "Ha Bless me, but I'll see if l
can bend him p But he spoke little
too loud-the gate "twanged," and the
fellow was gone like an arrow
We are not certain but that the mania
of those Second Adventists, of Pocasset,
might be brought to work out some good.
They believe in sacrifices Now if they
can be made to believe that the drum
mer" makes the most acceptable sacrifice,
their religious belief might command the
admiration Of the world.