The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-04-03
EVERYDAY sPICERIEs.

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The young lady who thought she
could make her voice clearer by strain
ing it has discovered her error.
CoULD not Wilhelmj and Hja.mer
Hjorth Boyesen be sent to Ujiji for q
spell p Toronto Gossiper.
A BosToN organist advertises that be
will be most happy to play at we'd
dings and funerals. ."-Masscal Record.
IT is demonstrated than one-third of
our lives are passed in sleep. In the
case of policeman, the percentage is
one-half. f.-Rockland Courier.
IT is as hard for man to discover
the faults of his best friends as 1t is to
discover the virtues of his worst enemy.
= WHitehdH Times.
PROVIDENCE Minister--"I j wish TO
state that / have procured an alarm
clock that will wake up the congre-
cation as soon az the services are over"
ALWAYS remember the poor. II may
save the awkward mistake Of trying to
borrow a dollar from the person who
hasn't it.-P PhitddeIp Iphia Chronicle Herald.
We hope parents will remember that
when Washington was born there were
no soothing-syrup factories, and yet he
lived and became great man.-Phita-
deiphia Chronicle Herald.
If you were as willing to be as pleas
ant and as anxious to please in your own
house as you are in the company Of your
neighbors, you would have the happiest
home in the world.
Duty is the little blue sky over every
heart and soul--over every ife-large
enough for star to look between the
clouds, and for the skylark happiness to
rise heayenward through and sing in.
A MAN should think twice before
spending his money foolishly. If he
puts it in savings bank he will have
ample time to think dozen times
New Orleans Picayune.
SINCE walking matches have come to
be the rage, nobody will admit that
hanging is the worst use to which a
man can be put.n-lNeao Bedford Stand
ard.
SINCE the 1st of March eleven South
ern mules have been killed by lightning.
lightning is the only thing which can
kick harder and faster than mule
Detroit Free Press
JUDGING from the naughty talk that
attended the distribution Of the gate
money, we should say that the pedes-
trians were more distinguished by their
walk than their conyersation.-P Paterson
Press.
IT is not always safe to assume that
the man who carefully removes his hat
before entering the outside door of the
| church is highly reyerential. He may
have a shocking bad hat.-Boston
Traveller.
| WHENEVER a new daily paper starts
in Washington nearly the first thing it
does is to print sketch of old g Beau
Hickman 1t will do it if it has to
crowd out three columns of new adyer-
tisements.-N -NorTistoacn Herald.
THE young lady who gave the mitten
to the young man who wouldn't 60 in
the house where it was comfortable,
but persisted in keeping her out at the
front gate, now refers to him as one of
her cast-of CATERS. Elmira Advertiser.
The best religion is that which will
make q colored man sit down content to
eat corn bread for supper, knowing at
the same time that neighbor has fat
chickens and no dogs in his yard.-Neto
Orleans Picayune.
The wise man makes equity and JUS
tice the basis of all his conduct; the
right forms the rule of his behavior I;
Difference and modesty mark his ex-
terror, sincerity and fidelity serve him
for accomplishments.
"Is there any danger Of the boa-con-
strictor biting me p asked lady visitor
at the Geological Gardens. Not the
least, marin, replied the Snowman.
"He never bites; he swallows his wit
ties whole. ."-Neo York Star.
| PROFESSOR, lecturing on psychology
/ CAN phenomena are sensations. For
instance, that leaf appears green to me.
In other words, l have q sensation OF
greenness within me-" OF course, nc
harm was meant, but still the class
would laugh.--Boston journal.
"PIEAsE do not handle," is the Swiss
request; "Netouchez pas sill yous
touch" bows the Frenchman; /" Visitors
must not touch says John Bull, firmly;
Glands OFF, growls the Yankee; the
Western people lay revolver on ths
article, and say nothing. Erie Herald
AUGUSTUS and Maud linger long OF
the balcony these clear, cool evenings
and drink in deep draughts of astron
omy; that is, they attenuyely and per