Smyrna times., 1879-08-27
GBe Smgrna Gimes,
Smyrna, DeI.,
"Wednesday Afternoon, August 27.
Newspaper Waits.

naS seen Ine sea serpent states That Its head
is the size of beer-cask.-Boston Post.
They were nestled together like two young mice,
WI, Without making the slightest fuss,
When he lovingly whispered ' Who am nice%
She softly answering BQfe UUusP'
"Tobacco is vile thing for the health,
and | have given it up entirely" "Bah
since when? ?" "Since ...... next Monday"
Paris Figaro.
A sable citizenn made bet thath he could
eat fifty watermelons in fifty hours. He
stalled on the thirty They in.
scribed on his coffin " Act 81"
Punster Pelby says he wishes puns were
translatable. He'd 60 to Paris if they were
and start paper just to publish his stock
Of puns. Pelby hates the French.
The voice of the young man who got |
away with three hundred and ninety.six |
CLAIMS at a clambake is heard in the land, |
and it calls for doctor.-BostOn Post.
| Scene, sanctum. Enter the exchange |
fiend. "Ah, thought I'd drop in to look |
over your exchanges" Editor to devil |
Samson, get Mr.. Limberjaw the Memphis
Appeal and AvaIanche" Exit fend.
Customer What did you think of the
|
Hair dresser" Well, really, sir, there was
gent sitten' in front O. me as 'ad his air
parted that crooked that l couldn't ear
word"
1t may be that the simple minded farmer
has no selfish design i'll telling the tourist
that fish will bite only at potato bugs, and
in kindly offering to let the disciple of Wal
ton go into the potato patch and get all the
bait he wants.
farmer writes; {" saw in paper that
a western farmer planted flax with potatoes
and it kept the bugs off. l planted flax
with potatoes, and the fax came up first,
and the bugs roasted on it, waiting for the
potatoes to come up"
A word to the wise is sufficient. A min.
ister made an interminable call upon a lady
of his acquaintance. Her little daughter,
who was present grew weary of his CONVEX
sation, and whispered in an audible tone,
didn't he bring his amen with him,
mammal"
ait is among the nineties," casually re-
marked a gentleman the other day, wiping
his brow. 1t so happened that venerable
spinster was passing at the time. "You
insulting.thing" she exclaimed, its no such
thing" And up to this writing he doesn't
know what she meant.
A pretty Washington young lady of the
mature age of six, after the story of the ere.
alton and the fall had been related, and the
young lady had been meditating for some
time on the moral of it, suddenly broke out
with: Aunty, after Adam and Eve dis.
obeyed God, why didn't lie kill 'em and
begin over again?"
The colored debating club among the
hands upon the plantation of A. NJ. Griffin
in Lee county, Ca, had as the subject o
their last debate: (Which are the mos
benefit to the country, the lawyers or tht
buzzards?" After much wrangling and an
mated discussion, they finally decided il
favor of the buZards.-BoSt0n Journal.
Small girl, very harshly, to her doll in
toy carriage, dolly having tumbled from til,
seat: "Sit right up, you horrid old thing
Don't you dare do that again, or I'll whil
YOU" Seeing apasser, who had approached
unobserved, she modified her voice ant
continued in dulcet tones: "Now, sit III
strait, darling, and be careful no to fall AM
hurt yourself. Nail.
Is this the place ?" she asked, as sh
wandered down on the barren sands
"where young lady-a beautiful youn
lady-fell in the water last season and wa
rescued by gallant young man whom sh
afterward married?n He looked at he
carefully, estimated her at square forty
seven, with false teeth, and said: " Yes
madam but don't know how to SWIM"
Professor: You will repeat the lessor
on the battle of Bunker Hill" Studen
latter long painful slence) Please, sir
l can't" Professor with frown): VIII
not?" Student (timidly) because
have been deceived" Professor (aston
ished) " In what way?" Student (hum
bly, "I have always been told that histor
repeats itself, and so l don't trouble t
study the lesson"
AMERICAN MACHINES IN EUROPE Wash
ington, dug. 20.-The United States consu
at Liepsic, Germany, in a report to the De
partment of State on the recent inter
national machine market held in that city
recites some facts whice are of the highes
interest to our inventors and manufactors
That the demand for American machine
and implements in Europe, demand whcl
the acknowledged superiority would wal
rant,is not as large as might be anticipated
is principally due to the fact that owing t.
the carelessness of our inventors in no
- taking out patents for their inventions il
the several countries, limitations of all ou
principal machines are manufactured II
} Europe, rudely, it is true, but at less cost
les and so fill up that market, which the orig
inal machines would occupy were the latte
= protected by the letters.patent in tn
Ss various countries. To show the extent t
which our machines are initiated and ou
inventors defrauded by European manufaC
turers, the consul cites few cases for Gel
many alone: Rotary pumps made in thi
for country when first introduced into Gel
many, were very popular, and commando
large sale, until merchant in Leipsi
had them manufactured in that city, an
offered the rude imitation at greatly r.
duced figures After referring to variou
y cheap limitations of American hay.cutter
- lawn.mowers, reapers, &C., the consul col
.. cludes: "If, therefore, American inventor
In desire to introduce their machines int
Europe they must secure patents in ever
country in which they propose to operat
, simultaneously with their securing them
the United States, even before the invei
tions are described in the press or publicl
exhibited; for although European invei
n tors may not be possessed of the inventiv
genius Of the Americans, European maj
'Oi ufacturers are quick to apply American il
a. tlosr oxur rarnfft ~