Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1879-11-07
Humors of the Telegraph

The majority of the reading, and all
of the educated world are familiar with
the accepted theories regarding cleo
tricity, and with the application OF these
theories by which we have the ,tele-
graph, But comparatively few have
lifted the veil of the temple and wit
messed the peculiar results of its .practi-
cal working. And these are the en-
nloyees of the companies whose business
| II IS to control and make use OF the
mysterious agency and wonder-work-
ing wires" for the convenience and hap
piness of the public.
In the history of the Western Union
company | recall but two instances OF
the known betrayal by operators OF the
contents of important messages among
the millions of opportunities and In
ducements offered.
limo other business are mistakes more
common, or for many reasons SO eXcusa-
BILE. For instance, n composltor OF
copyist has his manuscript to easily con-
sutt. and. to a certain extent, Is mas
ter of his own time; but an operators
time, especially if receiving message,
is governed by the one at the other end
of the line, and he must depend Tor ac-
curacy upon the correctness OF his ear
and memory. Nearly every one has
read of the Indignation of that father
who received a message that his slckly
daughter, who was absent at school,
chad n child this morning." and the
subsequent appeasal of his wrath upon
finding ort that the original message
read @chill,n not "child." Not long
AGO certain charitable institution was
considerably mystified by a message ask
ing for the whereabouts of Monkey
Wrench" The inquiry was instantly
changed TO "Mother French" how
ever, upon being returned to the tele.,
graph company for explanation, and
apology made for the unintentiona
blunder. 1t was, think, the same
operator who, in taking an Associated
Press article, innocently spoke OF " Mrs
Herman" as secretary of the treasury
= a sudden advance in womans rights tt
which the secretary, Mr.. Sherman
would doubtless object. And q peace
full family circle ought not to be sur
prised, as it was, by receiving the fol
lowing: "John is dead beat. Depo
= this evening" when a correct transmls
sion of the dispatch would have rendere'
1 It. "John is dead. Be at depot thi
evening" | recall another tamll.
agitated by the telegraphic information
that 4" Brother lied last night, only u
ultimately find out that he had departe'
life instead of truth. ],
y Some time since message transmit
ting the intelligence that the tresoy
. tery lacked quorum to ordain, cause
prodigious amount of ecclesiastlca
wonderment and dismay on reaching it
destination by announcing that tn
Presbytery tackled worm on to Adam.
9 Comment is unnecessary.
The worthy and sedate DR.. Blank,
one of our eastern colleges, once accepte
II an invitation to lecture in a wester
'E CITY, His letter of acceptance, appoin
ing an early date, omitted to state til
subject of his discourse, and, to advel
tiso in advance, the committee wf
Obliged to telegraph him, requesting h
subject They were somewhat astol
,s ishcd at his reply, but not thinking
the possibility of mistake, handed
over to the only daily paper, which in
highly eulogistic but misleading artic
advised all its readers to hear Rev. ID
n Rlank deliver his celebrated andi 9.
he trpmelv humorous lecture-subjcct: "
m Flea for Activity" The Doctor arriv'
nd too late to have the announceme
changed to what it shonld have been
"A Plea for Activity "-and the rest
was a disappointed house and griev
d; lecturer. "a
s provoking and sometimes amusing, q
n occasionally in their results of great il
M portance. 1t was not long ago that
wheat speculator in Chicago made 81
600 by small order being Academia
changed to an immensely large one.
believe he has made no complaint. ID
= the market turned the other way thoue
> Some years ago the daug ghter of a W.
. known citizen of central New Yo
- named Jennie, had unfortunately, as
= father then thought, formed an Alta
- ment for young man named John.
- separate them the father sent her
: spend the winter with married sist
= Mary, who resided in New Yo
d Spring approached and Jennie was
EB nected home on certain day, but,
Stead. the father received letter fr
his son-in-law desiring that she mi
remain while longer so that his '