The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1879-06-12

Happy Vision of the Future-A de-
pressin" Prophecy by Joseph Bigler.
There wuz a sad meetin at Bascom's the
mite we heerd NV the Presidents veto NV the
army bill. A feelin NV gloom pervadid the
room, and ther wuz a sadnis that wuz paneful-
ly visible on every face. Deekin Pogram he'd
succeeded in borrerin two dollars NV North
ern vagabond wich WIZ prospectin the Cor
ners with view NV startin a baggin mill on
Secesshun erik, and but for that we shood hev
sunk under the new trubble that he'd come
upon us. The deekin is libral when he hez
the meens, and so long ez that two dollars
lastid we managed to keep up wich we did
fur some time, likker bein redoosed now to
five cents. There wuz forty drinks in that
sum, to say nuthin NV three rounds we got out
of Captain McPelter whose credit is not yit eggs
haustid.
eve shell hev regiment at the poles next
fall" sighed the good old man, "and evry
cussid niger in Libbertyville will vote, jest
the same ez tho they wuz troo Kentuckians."
"Aint they troo Kentuckians?" asked Jo-
sef Bigler wich wuz present, ez he alluz is
when we don't want him. "Aint they born
on the SOIL and don't the most NV EN- hev the
best blood NV Kentucky coursn throo ther
vanes?"
We pade no attenshun to the ribald skoffer.
"Time wuz, sed Captain MPelter "when
we he'd it in our power to keep Yankee frum
votin here, to say nothin NV niggers whice
never dreemed Nv sch thing"
"Ah!' sed lssaker Gavitt, his eye litin up
with momentary enthoosiasm, Il remember
in 1xyh har q Vor1lra aIr
insistid on votin Abolishin tikkit. The tree
is still standin and alluz shell stand ez a mo-
mentum NV days forever fed"
"We kin stan it." l remarkt, "for we are
yoost to bein ground down under the iron heel
NV oppreshun,'
Never saw eny soiors at the poles here"
sed Bigler.
''We are yoost to bein ground down." con-
tinyood, not heedin the interrupshen. "But
alas fer our trends in the Northl With
soiers at the poles, and with the supervisor
system continyood, wat will the Irish in Moo
York do? Wat will the O'Briens and the
O'Shaughnessys, and the hosts NV faithful
Dimocrats, wich vote from mornin till mite do,
when a tirannikle Government interferes with
glissnin steel to prevent EN-? Methinks see
the faithful patriot wich hez yotid dozen
times langishin in a basteel, and for wat? Oh,
for the days Nv Tilden and Hoffman, when the
patriotic impulses Nv a Irish citizen run and
wuZ glorifed."
SIT is thunderin bad" sed Joe Bigler "to
think NV lazy patriot like Claflin only yotin
wunst, when Teddy O'Brien, who puts in
whole day Nv it, hez to be arrested and bas-
teeled. 1t is shockin.''
"Wate till another presidenshel elecshun,"
sed Bascom, "then the Dimocrisy will git its
rites. There will be no abolishinist general in
the chare to interpose his veto. Then we shell
hev what we want. The Confedrit soiers will
hev ther penshuns, and our clames for proper
ty destroyed by Linkin's feends will be
pade. L see a gloryous prospeckp' sed Bas-
com, his eye litin up very like prophets. 81
see Contedrlt soljers comm into this bar in
droves and each NV EN- payin for ther drinks
jist afore takin Nv em, to prevent mistakes. L
see the accounts that yoo men hev ben runnin
up doorin all these dark days, balanced, and
the money in the till. L see the credit system
for drinks abolished and the Corners come
back TO cash on the male, and no tick. see'-
"Yes," said l. being suddenly prophetized,
81 see armies Nv men employed in dredgin out
Secession erik, to make it navigable. L see
custom house ez big ez thet NV Moo York agoin
up in the Corners; see the Suthern Pacific
Ralerode bilt, and see plank rode from here
to Secessonville, with other internal improve
mentS too teluS to menshun, and every one Nv
EN- at the expense Nv the Nashnel Guverment
witch for the purpus only NV Suthern improve
ments is a nashun. And eZ the North pays
about nineteenth-twentieths Nv the taxis, thar
is whar we shell hev our revenge. The North
will pay and the South will reep the benefituv
it. Little did the North know wat it wuz
dom wen it took us back"
"And / see," sed Issaker Gavitt 'the South
in full control NV the Government to do ez it
pleeses with it, see the Northern Dimocricy
in their proper places, askin us umbly wat we
want. L see Congriss NV Suthern brigadeers
I see Northern Congrismen apologisin for
assistin in raisin trupes to conker us, ard
bringin forth froots meet for repentance by
glvln us everything we ask for. L see the
Suthern solier on a levil with the Northern
soljer, and leetle ahed. / see the bloc takin
orr Its hat to the gray, and see Deckorashun
Day in the North abolished, tho for one, bein
genrus, am willin eff they want to deckorate
the graves Nv their ded, they may, if they will
do it in the mite without emmy moosic or pa
rade, wich is offensive to us. I see"
Il am agoin into the prophit biznis," sed Joe
Blgler, "only am agoin to profesy backerds,
wlch is the safest. L see Dimekratic party
witch got into power by aksident, and hednt
sense enuff to keep its hold. see a set NV un-
considerable asses in the South, who suppose
that the North, which eggregiously whaled us
wunst, amt jist ez reddy to do it agin. / see
seckshun NV kentry pOpelated by klass Nv
people wich don't no kindnis and mersy when
they see it, and wich mistakes clemency fur
cowardis. And to take a handspring into the
futur, see an eleckshin in Ohio this fall wich
will clene out the Dimocrisy completely and
pave the way fur the eleckshun NV Grant in
1880, with Congris behind him wich will take
nifty good care that the South will git Just wat
she deserves and no more. / see the prinSiple
NV States Rites squelched, and the old Fedrel
idee more firmly established than ever. l see
the Corners remanein jist ez it is, onles the
citizens exchange Bascom's bar fur their corn
feelds, and git to considrin a skool house ez NV
more importance than a quarter race track.
l see the niggers gittin out NV here, and leevin
the kentry without labor, becoz the white
citizens hevnt got sense enuff to recognize the
fact that they are men and Civ EN- the rites
that blong to EN-. 1 see-but watts the yoose?
Yoo never lern anythin or forgit anythin."
And after this depresin peece NV profesy
Josef rolled off with the remark that we wood
find he wuz troo profit. Perhaps he is. But
l got all 1 wantid to drink for an hour or two.