The comet. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1877-1882, 1879-03-15
He COuldn' mt Get Any thing to Lie On
His Stomach.
BY PHILo CoMETosE.

Bill W. was gallant soldier and specia
friend of mine in toe days that tried men,
souls. Bill is man of perapetetic tenden
cies, and had not met him since those soul
trying days. He had wandered all over thu
United States, including California ant
Utah, doing up all these countries for {
Memphis daily, and finally brought up ir
jackson, the last place an impecunious
man ought to be caught in. encountered
him in front of Chris Hinckle's, one morn.
ing before breakfast. He. was looking
fearfully empty about tho region of the
abdomen, and his clothes were stained and
seedy.
"Great Jupiter Bill, is this your"
"Yes, it's all that's left of me-.
"Well, old fell what in the world is the
matter with your
"To tell you the truth, Jacob" CHATS
not my name, but let that pass,) 81 have
been sick for week, and can't get anything
to lie Oh my stomach
'"lhat's bad Bill, but let's go in here and
get good cup of coffee. Chris Is famous
for his coffee, and, perhaps, it may settle
your stomach and stimulate your appetite. :"
''I'll do that with pleasure Jake, though
I'm afraid nothing on this earth will over
come the goneness experienced here"
(Placing his hand imposingly on his bread
basket
We walked into Chris dining room to>
gether, and found that sly boniface in the
middle of his own breakfast.
''Chris," said, there is an old army
croney of mine who was with me in the war
when we both fought, bled and died for
our country. You can see that he is dead
man to all practical purposes. What we
want is two cups of coffee for him and me,
and o pint of brandy for both to Appetite
it. Ny friend, the Colonel, here, can't get
anything to lie on his stomach-hasn't had
anything on his stomach for week, and
you know, Chris, no literary man, of the
national celebrity of my friend, the General
here, can do honest head work unless some
thing Can DO made to lie ou his stomach |
And, Chris, while we are slipping your cof |
fee, gently impregnated with your brandy, |
and fighting our battles over again, as sol
diers will, you know Chris, you may go ont
and broil steak, ration of ham, and
couple of howtowdies, and bring them here
all sappy aud sayory, just to see if we cans
not tempt the appetite of my old friend,
the Commodore, and get something to re-
pose on his stomach"
The two cups of coffee and the brandy
were brought, and Bill heroically addressed
himself TO the business in hand. First he
poured out in tho saucer half of the hot
coffee, and then re-illed his cup from the
bottle. From this calf and 'alf " concoc-
lion he seemed to revive, and remarked that
The first cup Lad produced such favorable
effects ho believed he would try another.
After little, the steak, the ham, the eggs,
5he broiled chichens and the ct cgterds
we're broughtin by Chris's attentive walters.
81 really do believe, said Bill my "appe-
ito is coming back to me. I'll try some
am hand heggs," said he, with feeble eff
'ort to initiate John Russell. ,
And that man Bill W. waded into the ,
lam and eggs. He quickly removed them
rom mortal sight. Then he took a juicy
teak, then he tackled the broiled chicken. ,
N all these movements the consumption
If bakers bread was equally terrific. When
he board was cleaned Bill turned to Chris,
nd said:
'Bring me bottle of ale and think 1
an rest the cause on that" I
had watched this man cat with an ever |
ipening amazement. But when he called s
or the bottle of ale, I could stand it no c
onger, and thus exploded:
"Bill, for Gods sake, take no moro on v
-our stomach. For an invalid you have e
efficiently taxed it. Let us see whether 1
What has already gone down will lie there.'
''Now," said Bill, II might as well be o
rank with you. told you that nothing Il
7ould lie on my stomach. That was true, v
ut it was altogether owing to the fact that c
had nothing in my pocket, and was, c
herefore, unable to buy anything to lie on n
1y stomach. From a ridi ,ulous pecuniary il
bstacle, have net had square meal be-
ore in a week. That's the explanation.
10 you grasp the situatiOn2' y
"Yes, and III pay for the breakfast" p