The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1879-10-08
FUNNYGRAPHS.

NoTu 10 Say,
Your little brother interrupted us, so please
say yesterday. -Nv7lsfo'oH Herald
Mr.. TALMAGE is still exciting great
interest in England, as the only Amer
lean preacher who can twist his leg up
over his shoulder and use it for neck
tie-ChriStidR Union.
CUSTOMER" What did you think OF
the bishops sermon on Sunday, Mr..
-Nigsby2" Hair dresser" Well, re-
ally, sir, there was a gent sittin' in
front O. me as 'ad his air parted that
crooked that | couldn't ear word. "
HUSBAND" Maria, my dear, you
seem to be very lonesome in my com
pany Do you not love me now as
You did before our marriage ' "Why,
OF course, Gerald but you know since
our marriage we have become one, and
| feel lonesome without second
party"
Rgv. Mr.. PoGsoN, OF Bridgeport, Is
the father of a boy who will probably
distinguish himself The evening be-
fore the last circus in that city the rev.
erend gentleman was talking to his
son about the beauty of heaven, when
the child suddenly observed: Papa,
let's drop heaven and talk circus. -
DdnbTy NeIrS.
BURLINGTON HAwKEYE: Gentle
Annie" is in a despairing mood this
week. She begins her sad plant by
asking: "Will they forget us when we
are gomez" You may bet your sweet
lite, Gentle Annie, they will. They
will forget us so completely they won't
even be positive where we are gone"
n CORNELIUS MCMAHON, alias James
Wilson, arrested at Upper Sandusky,
o., for the murder of Washington
Hite, confessed to Mrs. Houston, wife
of the sheriff, that he was the murder
er. When asked why he killed an hon
est man, he replied: "A man in want
OF money and under the influence of
whisky will do any thing"
THE infant son of Senator and Mrs
Bruce, of Mississippi, was baptised in
Cleveland Saturday evening, and re-
ceived the name of Roscoe Conkling
Bruce. The Senator is said TO own
10000 acres of land in Kansas, and
after the expiration of his term next
March, will not return to Mississippi,
but settle among his colored brethren
in Kansas.
A LONDON journalist of rather ripe
lot Of a.
ner given in New York, the peaches
developed an altogether new and I'M
expected feature. They bore the mon
ogram of their owner traced distinctly
in the velvety bloom The process he
described thus Letters cut from pa
per are pasted on the peaches while
growing. When the fruit is ripe, on
removing the paper the letters are
found picked out in the most delicate
green, the rest of the fruit being rosy
hued.
SAN FRANCISCO Posi-: "Can it be
possible my Algernon no longer loves
his little brown eyes? Can it be that
her caresses have become irkesome at
last ?" said a heart broken young pull
back of our local nobility to her "sted-
dy company" the other evening as
the latter seemed inclined to remove
her clinging form from his breast.
"Your Algernon is all right" said the
youth with an uneasy sqirm; " but if
you don't let up minute, Tilder, the
spiral of my stud will come out through
my backbone, sure"
SWELL, Phoebe, do you attend
church p "Lors, yes, missus Couldn't
live if Ise didn't 60 10 meeting" ado
you have good times there?" II guess
we does. We have 'tracted meetin'
goin' on, and last night our minister
'vited pussuns to de altar, when three
came fow'd and we thought dat furst-
rate considerin the hard times"
A BRIDGEPORT girl got button in
her ear some years ago, and has had
terrible attacks of headache ever since.
-Ddnbury Neirs.
We have always advised that young
men ought to see to it that the breast
buttons of their coats are kept secure
ly sewed on Courier-JOuRdi
SAID old Mr.. Wiseowl: "There is a
passage of scriptur', brutherin, thet's
impressed me much, very much; I've
thought ont and thought ont, and I'm
alluz thinkin' ont | disremember
jest whar it is, and ez fur tibet matter,
jest what it is, but you can't tell how
much NV of a soils it is to me on my
journey through this vale O. tears
Boston Tronscr1p'.
A COMMUNICATION to the Lime Kiln
club from Elias Tiffle Spencer, OF Acad-
envy Corners, Pa, disclosed the fact
that young colored man of that local
Ity, answering to the name OF L. Y.
Gardner, was making a pretty good
thing of il by claiming to be Brother