St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-04-18

| -. WIZ arc Always giving one
plesents PRESENTS which are worthless. They
relnember ones birthday, and ones
mIarrlage-day, and the anniversary of
tne day one was appointed a revising
oarrlster, or the chaplain to the lunatic
asylum. They think it very touching
TO call to mind these interesting dates
oy the gifts of paper-knife, or a box
VI y, Cooth-pIcks, OF volume of Tupper's
roems. For my part, l would much
rather "cOmpOund" for all these sub
scriptIons, as is done in the Inns of
Court, and that they gave me five
pound note, and had done with them.
There is still more troublesome sort
oI generally very wealthy =
VINO insist upon paying your fare for
you when you travel with them by the
Underground, or on defraying the turn
PIKE toll when you drive over bridge ;
out to get a tive-pound note out of
Mem-ln the way of composition or any
other-is dream to be indulged in not
even by the most sanguine.
linen there are some excellent per-
sons who insist upon providing us with
some specimens of their own particular
productions what they have them
selves invented, cOncocted, or made
captive to their own bow and spear ;
and which in nine cases out of ten, and
independently of the obligation incur
red, enc would infinitely rather be
without.
Your friend the amateur author, for
example sends ii presentation copy of
his first novel i'll three volumes. Now,
what are you to do with that? ? OF
course, If you are prepared to read it,
l have nothing further to say; but sup
pose you shrink from proceeding to
that dread extremity; you have in that
case to sit down and write quickly that
you have received his most thoughtful
present, which will indeed be highly
priced, and that you are ''lo0ling for
ward with the greatest eagerncss" to
its perusal. But if you think that will
satisfy him, except for the moment,
you are very much mistaken. He will
be sure to inquire your opinion, sooner
or later, about that immortal work
and then be OH your guard for fatal
to your friendship with him will be the
moment when he eliclts the truth.
Above all means cut the book mean,
with the paperk knife-on the instant
OF its arrival; no eulogy, however
vague or skiliul, will avail you if he
discovers that this prccaution has not
been taken.
Again, there are some excellent house
wives, who not content with delightiug
theiI own families with preserves and
pickles, and even medicines of theiI
own manufacture, export them to other
peoples houses they present one at
Christmas with IL bottle of home made
Curacoa, better, as they inform us, than
any we can get ut the wine merchants ::
and some specific of their own con-
coctlon, which, however, however ''sov-
ercIgn" 1t may be against all other all
mentS, 1t Is quite pOwerless to ward off
the effects of the Curacoa.
Or again, ones friend is Il sportsman,
who having secured some prize of eX-
cepuonal Iarity. and modestly think
ing 1t is too good for his own table Tor
perhaps not unwilling that we should
bear personal testimony to his prowess),
t-; r--->-y -,
! rail.
The last gift received in this way
was from Il famous fowler, an consisted
ot Il black cygnet-rdrd GuiS IN terris,
HiJrOque (here you have it, as prom
ised) simiiiima cygnO. Neither /, nor
my cook, nor the poultcrer round the
| corner, had seen Except on IL sign
b0ard) such bird before. lis size was
gigantic-much larger than that of a
full grown white swaziland it had no
end of Il neck. How this neck was to
be cooked was Il problem, while to cut
| 1t off was out of the question. For who
would have been able to guess its ma
ture, or have been 10y any means in
duced to eat il, had it come to the table
lUithOut lis neck ? AS it WAS, felt that
| should have to make little speech
about II TO my guests, in the way of
| introduction, not to say of apology for
its appearance. AS the result of the
plucking of it we promised ourselves
an cidcr-duwn quilt, if not an entire
tcathcr-bcd, but at the very outset an
unpleasant circumstance happened. 1t
had arrived III apparently admirable
! condition we had said to ourselves,
"For once, we have really got useful
present out of old Wcbfoot :" but di-
rectly the cook began to pluck tit
was not "the last feather" mind that
did 1t, but the tirst-It began to smell
beyond all power of words to express.
We talk of ''knocking one down with
feather" III IL metaphorical and poeti-
cal way, but one of our cygnet's feath-
ers was literally enough to do it, Why
it was SO, do not pretend to explain.
1t is possible just lis IL gentleman of
cOlOr-though man and brother,
and even IL clerk in holy orders-has
unquestionably certain -well-an
aroma about him, such us q am thank
full to sayl does not belong to YOU or
fins hl1cE h,I
that surely never belonged to any other
race but his own. Ono h", hoard of
sea-brds being "strOng" and ''tishy,"
but those are feeble adjectives to ex-
press the exhalations from that bird.
As to making anything with his feathers
except Il bonfire-it was not to be
thought of. Of course our kitchen could
not accommodate the cygnet, which
consequently went to the bakers
whereby we became in manner pub
lie benefactOrs. One has heard how a
knife that has cut an ortolan is thought
highly of as giving rare flavor to
quite Il common dish. Well our bird
gave Il flavor ESQ the baker told me) to
everything that he cooked that day,
from a joint of beef to an apple-pie.
They had, as one may say, the impress
sion OF our sgnet upon them-and it
was very strong one. When it came
to table every one rose and fled, and all
the windows had to be thrown open.
though it was far from summer weather.
L buried it i'll the back garden, with the
coal scoop, with my own hands, and
there it lies to this day, let us hope,
deodorized but if so it will be great
confederation of the Moule, or Mould,
theory, and of earth as a disinfectant