Connecticut western news., 1879-07-02

pepper, and here is good bread, good butter and good cheese, all good enough for such an old ragamuffin as you are. ,
 "Very good, madam" said he, "but be so good as to let me have some new milk, warm, right from the COW, to wet these good victuals.
 "The COWS are not milked," she said.
 "Then let me have bowl of cold milk"
 "I will not send servant out in this storm to skim milk for you," was her angry answer.
 The judge replied, pleasantly, CT have good wife at home, my dear madam, older than you are, who would go out in a worse storm than this to milk the COWS and bring the milk to the poorest man on earth at his request; or bring the milk from the spring house, cream and all, without skimming, to feed the most abiect of the human race. ;"
 "You have a very good wife at home" she said.
 "Indeed I have, madam, and she keeps my clothes clean and whole, and notwithstanding you called me an old ragamufin, am not ashamed to appear abroad in the clothes I wear in any good company"
 After some further barley, she told him she wanted him to be of, as she wanted the fire to dry the gentle mems great coats and umbrellas, and particularly Judge Cranes.
 "Judge Crane?" said the judge. "Who is Judge Crane?"
 The circuit judge. One of the Supreme Judges, you old fool p she replied tartly.
 "Well, I will bet you a goose that Judge Crane has not had. and will not have great coat on his back, nor an umbrella over his head this day." was his reioinder.
 She called him an old goose, and told him to be of, but he said he did not care rye straw for Judge Crane any more than he did for himself, and as it was late it was likely that he would go | right oyer to the court instead of coming to the tavern, and wound up by saying he knew something about him, and that some people said he was nothing but rusty, fusty, crusty old fudge"
 The indignant old lady went to work with a will to drive away her plain spoken guest, and only succeeded after giving him glass of cider. He then went directly to the court house, where he was anxiously awaited by the lawyers, and taking his seat upon the bench, held court with dignity. The landlady, who had watched him as he went to- ward the court house, expressed wish that he would not be allowed to disturb the gentlemen there, and the judge. She told the servants that she desired them to remember that he had called Judge Crane rusty, crusty, fusty old fudge.
 At the dinner hour the court, with the exception of the judge, walked over to the tavern, and were soon seated at the ample board, the seat at the head of the table being reserved for Judge Crane, whenever he should come. That digni- tary had gone to the village store, where he purchased handsome shawl, which l he slowed away under his coat. He then proceeded to the tavern, and, en- tering the dining-room, took the seat reserved for Judge Crane, and was soon laughing and chatting with the lawyers. A servant entered the room, and, horri- fled at seeing the old fellow who had cut the wood occupying the chair re- served for the judge, rushed back to tell the landlady. Meanwhile the judge had commenced at the dessert end of the repast, and had almost consumed the entire pudding. The girl rehearsed to the horror stricken mistress how the old fellow had eaten "more than three skip plefuls of the rice pudding "a skipple, in low Dutch, being peck. Betty was sent to whisper to him that the mistress wanted to see him in the kitchen.
 "Tell your mistress am busy with the lawyers and gentlemen, and, mean while, get me clean plate so that can eat some of that salad,' pointing to the cold slaw.
 Consternation reigned in the kitchen. The guests knew nothing of the judges joke, and were therefore ignorant of the storm that was about to burst. The landlady's bottled-up wrath could not brook any further indignity. She walked into the dining room, unable longer to repress her indignation.
 Landlady, can I have clean plate to eat some salad on ?" mildly asked the judge, who saw what was coming.
 "A clean plate and salad p she in- dignantly ejaculated. "I want you to come into the kitchen until the gentle men have dined. I reserved that seat for Judge Crane"
 The guests stared at each other in mute astonishment. There was some. thing going on which they did not un- derstand.
 "So you reserved this seat for Judge Crane, did you, landlady? ?" he said.
 "Indeed did, she replied.
 "It was very kind of you," said he "and if you will step to the door an6 see if he is coming, or send one of youl servants to watch for him, will occupy this seat until he arrives. have some business with these gentlemen whict will occupy the time." The burst of indignation which the good lady gave vent to set the table in { roar, for they now perceived for the first time the drift of the joke. The judge said:
 "Did I not chop wood to pay for my breakfast ?''