Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1879-06-13

u TO clear the court, did 81 by this announce
: ment :'Now, then, all ye. e.bleckguards that ism
Il lawyers must lave the coort."
. Mr. Martin was conductor on an low,
n railroad. He is a church member, and ut
| recent revival meeting told what the lorC
had done for him. Among other things, 1t
:. said he run his caboose car from Cedar Rapid,
to Pottsville without flange ON one wheel
He had faith the Lord would keepthe cahoos'
: on the track, and He did. 1t was moi long
> after he received an epistle from the genera
superintendent, which began thus: Young
. man, don't believe the Lord has anything IL
| do with running freight trains;" and now
, Martin has no caboose To run on the faith
l principle.
The Louisville C0u,ier-,IOurHdl tells this
"A woman took her place in the line ut the
Post Office yesterday, and when her turn
came she placed a quarter before the cashier,
with the announcement that she would take
seven three cent stamps two ones, one postal
card, and one q them are new $40 stiff
Gates p"
4 gentleman Just from greenhouse step
ped into Nh indianapolis street car the other
day, loaded down with his blooming fuchias
He was particularly enthusiastic over Il pot of
fuchas which he was glorifyng to some lady
friends who sat by his side The ladies ad-
mirei the beauty of the flowers hut suggest
ed that their perfume WAS rather peculiar for
that kind of plant This popularity was
noticed, or nosed, by nearly every one in the
car. The gentleman looked little uneasy
but talked the more At last he rang the bell
and gathered up his flowers and started for
the door, when the peculiar perfume of the
fuchias was explained by the tops of five
cent bunch of onions sticking gracefully from
his coat tail pocket.
A Washington paper hy mixing two items,
makes the following remarkable statement Ia
its readers: a big bell has been given to
Newark mission chapel. and on the bell is
this inscription Dcckertown is supplied
with milk at 3 cents quart. Washington
pays cents Il quart"
Postmaster Anderson suggests that news
paper reporters invest their spare money in
four per cents. Postmaster Anderson should
reflect that because of the brain wear and
tear incidental To reportorial life every news
paper reporter is neccssitated Ia save his
money I" buy phosphorus. PttsJury LtdGier.
They grow some rather tall women beyond
the Mississippi. An occidental poet writes
I that he kissed the clouds from her sweet
fair face" II seems almost incredible thai
he could, just by standing upon her face kiss
the clouds, hut truth and pocsy are insepara-
ble and We are bound 10 believe - TOHke,S
Gdsettt.
! "Pa," asked Laura, looking up from the
| political columns of newspaper, PA, who
is the man on horseback the papers are talk
ing about so much?" Robinson" broke in
her brother Bill, "fcller that was here with
Barnum's circus" And Immediately he be-
gan 10 wonder if there was enough lead pipe
and copper -hottomcd kettles about the house
10 get him ticket this summer while Laura
read on and wondered what such "a man could
have To do with the presidential succession
HaUkege.
Conversation and calisihcnics rs pictured
by Puck: Shc-''Do YOU know, rather like
a backward spring." lie shall | do one
foryou?"
Market quotations do not affect the price |
of liberty, which always remains at eternal |
vigilance. ce.-Nco Orleans PicayUnf
"Nonc of us is safe" said Grand Opera |
House super" gloOmily. after reading about |
the attempted assassination of Edwin Booth. |
The following is told of Young gentleman
who WAS passing an examination in physics
He was asked, What planets were known
TO the ancients? We'll, sir" he responded. |
There were Venus and Jupiter. and after |
pausc-''l think the Earth, but I'm not !
quite certain.
Extract from French mayors report
about an accident to a mule THE afore-
said mule, on the way from Bagneres to |
L, while crossing bridge timid by ma
ture, made slip and fell into a ravine whose
death was instantaneous" This account is
somewhat mixed, hui little study will doubt
less straghten it out.
What newspaper does an editor remind
you of Z" asks a subscriber in the country He
reminds us of the Christian at Work but this
is not the answer furnished with the conun-
drum. -AOyristOoH HtdrH
Elihu Burritt may have been able 10 have
asked for beer in twenty-five different
tongues, hut he only had one with which he
could lick the foam of his mo,istache e-.Steu-
benriis Hearid
Tender-hcarted little Susie picked UP a cry
ing kitten on the sidewalk. and nesting il in
her bosom took ii into the house to nurture it,
Now" said her mother what did YOU
bring that sore-cyed cat in for:" With a
look of profound sympathy she replied. She
amt snrr-eved; her eyes is full Of grief, poor
thing Kitty had a corner assigned for her
Ne" HaDeu Register.
Children are amazingly forward now-a-
days. hut the Buffalo Commercial Advertiser
thinks there is little exaggeraiion in the il
lustration which fIarper's Drawer for june
gives Of feminine precocty: MY little
seven -year-old girl" writes friend ''was in
dro.,,,';,,i r.one Mi'n n,i "i,ic: anu
turning her head she said Uncle Horace,
eight and seven make fifteen, don't theyI
.Lo H. h.Ir anI;In,,,,, =, ;; II, -, ~ So
1...t.. Ial,. l...,~. L
it"
TN, f,Il,,,;r,, ;,ci5c,, 80 r.I,,oI or "a.
v,ncr,bIn Dr. N,s,i, f,r,,,.rl,. -. ,',,, =,
Dickinson college. Carlisle. Ill amazcs me
that ministers don't write better sermons: |
am sick of the dull, prosy affairs. said a la,Iy
in the presence of Dr Ncsl,it. But ii is
no easy matter. my GOOD woman 10 writ,
sermons" suggested the doctor 'Yes" re-
Joined the lady, but You are 50 long about
it. could write one in half the timr if | |
"lly ',i,l ,',N' NJ IN II lrAi 's all you
Ta nan G','i ir; Nes.n' VIII ,.iii''sh linl.
,u an, ''i,S "ii' li'I' ,'i''t''ol' Is "'''r l"
,r;da hn,,s ui,I Ira',.I;',' H W., ,"'" IN IN
'.' VIM nus "''i . -, "''" ii!is Mnhih ~"
m - - ~ ' ''i'''" ,''' ""'N f'"h-
". w. NY s'aN N'''iaii WIS thc r'-
sl"uN' S"u WIZ neNcr maxi a seriii"i'Arr
'"' nv wv ''''' III '"'' aPPho"""S'
Now soon the humble rustic lass
4, ne . : melancholy task forsakrn'
Ana vel th,. biri'' I'M tvn,. % tn iatru
The Dutch word tur Insurance. company Is |
l+NtisVcrhtrihsnmaiSch The PhiLd- |
d'tphid 1Dass SAWS there are many people |
who would call the insurance companies hy |
worse names than this il they only could in |
vent them.
Instructor in logic I, Mr. BY what
method of reasoning de- yuu inf,r that II hui |
let is hot after it strikes target - Mr. II
by picking it up, sir" idia Record
profcssnr ITO senior wbo ncrs;u,cu,l,. p.