The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-11-01
The Freaks OF II Psychologist.

Mr.. Simpson imagines he is quite an
authority on psychology and other things
OF scientific nature. lie frequently goes
around to various places to display hi skill
which is rather marvellous, to say the least
The other day he stepped into large
grocery store, in which quite crowd was
Congregated. ....
"Psychology is u term employed by the
most rcconditc savants in their nvcstiga-
tions Of metaphysical phenomena, roarcd
Nlr. Simpson, bringing his hand down pat
rlotically on the head of flour barrel.
The crowd laughed, at which dc1nonstra-
tlon the old man put on his spcctaclcs and
said: ..
in psychologist" r"
GLOW is it generally cooked, with egg
saucc2" 90
'It isn't an edible, roared Mr.. Simpson
wildly. ''.0I -
mo, no. said another man, cit amt a
vegetable, it's chemical; a kind of yellow
drug" =,
"No, it isn't yellow drug, or purple
drug, either" H..
els it new kind of ovcrcoat2" inquired
q! puny man with weak eyes, who was
drawing hard on clay pipe.
MIR. Simpson danced around like wild
man. lie finally informed the crowd of the
definition OF the term, and begged some one
TO furnish him With lock of hair SO that
hc could satisfy them of the soundness of
the theory Of psychology by giving them
the characteristics of the person upon whose
head it originally grew.
One man drew out lock of hair and
handed 1t over to the psychologist, who
was dancing around in al ecstasy of glee,
and acting like harlequin. He laid it in
tho palm of his left hand, and, after look
ing at it carefully for some time and max
ing peculiar faces, said:
''Ihc owner Of this hair was amiablc
and gentle" y T.
Correct J" yelled the doner of the hair,
his face radiant with smiles; "corrcct,
that's my late wife, and you've struck it."
''Shc was fond of music?"
YOU'RE right she was; she could ham.
mcr more music out of piano in ten min
utcs than you could listen to in an hour"
''Shc was most determined woman" I"
unused the psychologist as he turned the
hair over several times and looked wiser
than ever.
"Indeed she was," responded the widow
er, scratching his head, "whcn Mirandy
made up her mind to a thing sue would
carry it through if it cost her life. Why
whatever she made up her mind to have
anything, she always managed to have it."
'Shc was violent at times 2"
"Shc sas, replied the widower." 'T
am just one archipelago of scars She used
to wait behind the door for me at night,
and scale me with broom"
at this juncture the hair was ret lrncd to
the owner, and Mr.. Simpson, highly elatcd
at the favorable impression made by his
remarks, said:
elias any one in the crowd got some
more hair want some one to try to stick
me if possible, was never stuck yet Give
me the whiskers of musuuito's.
and III give its pronounced traits. y
At this moment the puny man
returned from the sidewalk, and remarked
that he possessed some hair which he would
like the psychologist to work upon.
"Let's have it2 Let's have tt" scream
cd MIR. Simpson in burst of rapturous
laughter; just hand over that there hair,
and I'll tell you all about so fast that you'll
nave to pry your ears open to catch all the
information. " C.. t,'. .'
Then he took the hair, looked at intently
moment, and said
'Ihe owner OF this hair was q inun of
great scholarship and research he was par
ticularly bright and was much liked by his
contemporaries. He was man of great
forcthought, and his morality was one of
the features of the nineteenth century He
had great mack of acquiring wealth, and
his generosity was thing which was sub
lime. He also had wonderfully rctentiye
memory, and was very lovablc and sincere
in his manner of dealing with people,"
mo he wasn't" yelled the puny man.
"Wasn't he good mans" inquired Mr..
Simpson.
."No, he was not, carolcd the attenuated
individual. "That hair came out of my
horses tail"
Then there was lively scene, from
which the psychologist fitted in a manner
that was as beautiful rs it was ambjrnc.,s.