davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24
A Thrilling Adventure.

We find the following account of a
thrilling adventure in the Oakland
Radiator: "The Noble Grand Humbug
of the Sazeracs burst into this office
this morning, his face covered with q
deadly pallor, and his limbs shak-
ing in every joint. Something terrible
has happened:
Gimme four fngers-a bird load!"
he gasped, between chattering teeth.
The jug was handed out of the cup
board, and it's contents administered in
broken doses. Re was soon sufficiently
soothed to tell the following terrible
tale:
"WeI, you know" he said, that there
has long been talk of heavy deposits of
gold in Milpitas. The other day two
prospectors from the Black Hills were
wandering with their picks and pans
around the suburbs Of that classic city,
when they discovered cavern of mar
velous appearance. They took no heed
of the surroundings in their thirst for
gold, but boldly entered, and their eyes
were greeted with scene that beggars
description. A horrid smell pervaded
the cavernous recesses, and they found
huge powders and snags of substance
resembling quartz. After removing the
rubbish their picks struck in vast peck
cts of solid gold, and they soon sue
ceeded in filing their sacks with all
they could carry. Just as they were
preparing to leave" here the eyes OF the
Noble Grand rolled wildly, rendering
three more fingers necessary, there was
a violent upheaval. The ground under
their feet was thrown into terrible con-
WILSON'S and rose nearly to the roof of
the cavern. Then it opened again, and
the bold prospectors found themselves
flying through the air at the rate of
10000 feet second. They landed in
marsh five miles from the mouth of the
cave, comparatively uninjured. a
"Was it a volcanic eruption 2" limo
Gently inquired the youngest reporter.
t"'Volcano!" shouted the Noble Grand
scornfully. "Why, you burned fool,
they had crawled into the mouth of a
Milpitas girl while she was asleep and
were digging away at the plugs in her
teeth, when she sneezed them out!"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24
Hobbies.

It is estimated that there are in Phila-
delphia not less than 1000 collections of
old coins and autographs. The hobby
is confined entirely to the male sex.
Speaker Randall has a fondness for
specimens of our golden currency, and
is the proud possessor of collection
comprising specimen of every gold
coin which has been coined in this
country. Simon Gratz, ex-President of
the Board of Education, has the repu-
tation of possessing the largest collec
ton Of autographs in existence in this
country. William S. Vaux, cousin of
the ex-Mayor of that name, has an i'm
mense collection of old paper money and
coin-among the latter being fine 1904
cent, which has an extraordinary value.
Perhaps the largest collection in Amer
lea is in the possession of Tenth Ward
druggist. His accumulations, the labor
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24
sERENADE IN THE TROPICS.
BY WILL WALLACE HARVEY.

When the nights are heavy with musk
And the stars are ripe in the cleaning,
The low moon breaks, like an apple OF dusk,
Through the shadowy leaves like pomegranat
husk,
And know that my lady is coming;
the primrose's javelin plume,
And She cereus open as though
An April frost in it's delicate loom,
Had woven the snow-hakes into bloom
OF capricious and odorous snow;
BY the shadow that, like glove,
The passion flowers leaf has thrown
I'm the lists where the laurels breathe and move,
by the sweet syringa's piping of love,
And the jessamines bugles blown;
But the lisp and the laugh of the leaves
In the bushes are low and sweet,
At bo-peep, hid in the tamarind sheaves,
For the hour of blossom on midsummer ewes,
And the sounds of her coming feet.
Like the sudden bloom through the husk
Of the primrose at even tide,
She comes by eddies and pools of musk,
That flower TO shape in the fragrant dusk,
And follow her open-eyed. '.+
And the blush and the bloom afford
Such harmony, hour by hour, ..
My soul confesses o fond accord
To the sweet responsive word for word s ..
Of the night in its perfect flower.
-H0TpeT'S magazine for May.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24

will be good deal like writin' compo-
sitions, and everybody knows there amt
no fun in that"
"Oh, I'll write most of It'll" said ST
mon; "me and two or three of the other
boys. Well form a company. Capital
SO. I've got SIS already, and I'll be
half owner; and the. rest Of you can
make up S. more easy enough"
This was the beginning Of the Snap
town Tom,n,yhaaok. The company
was formed, the type was bought and
sorted, the press was set up in the
building which the publishing company
had erected for it. The building, as
I've said, was not imposing, but it an
swered admirably. Old doors, old dry
goods cases in fact, any old boards
that could be found lying about were
used in it's construction, and the sash
for the windows were surreptitiously
obtained from a ruined hen-house on
the Slope premises. But I needn't go
into the details of preparation. The
Snaptown Ion,n1yhaao became real
ity in due course Of time, and copy of
it's first and only issue is lying before
me as I write
ST Slope had very good conception
of an editors duties. He had thought
a good deal about the matter, and asked
the advice of his elders. He had heard
his father say that what the public
wants is facts;" and his mother had re-
marked that it was gossip that made
people read the papers. His older sis
ter, who had just returned from fin
ishing school, declared that no first
class paper could exist without fashion
article and poetry. Then Sis quick
observation had shown him that the
most attractive articles in the Snaptown
Coa1rarat were those that were most
abusive. In fact, he had heard his
father say that "fearlessness is what
everybody likes in a newspaper calling
spade spade, and a liar liar, and a
thief thief" and upon this
free and fearless basis Simon
determined that the Snaptown
TommyhaaUk should be conducted.
Then it should be original-nothing
stolen from other papers, no rehash Of
stale jokes, nc old rhymes; but all fresh
and original. To attain the end of Or
iginality. Simon enlisted all the boys
of his acquaintance to bring him items
Just keep your ears and eyes open,
boys" he said, "and tell me what you
hear and see. I'll fix it into shape and
publish it.; and you shan't be the losers,
you bet"
The boys were very diligent and eff
fective newsgatherers, and ST proved to
the world that he held the pen of a
ready writer, as you will see by the fol-
lowing extracts from the first number
of the TonanayhaaUk. ~. e..
I think I'd better transcribe the whole
number, as it is not larger thc.fst two
pages of reading book. Here it is
heading, spelling, and all: "..
THE SNAPTOWN TOMMYHAWK.
Foundered by Simon Slope.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24
POETRY.
SPRING..
BY S. s.

The snow is gone the spring is here
And planting time has come round Again
To ride the merry horse to pillow ..
Will make us boys feel cross as Cain.
And now our sleds must be slowed away
For sliding in hot weather we cannot do.
And skates must also be laid away
Also change our boots for ne festive shoe.
I am fond of winter, I don't like spring
For in winter you see there is much more play
And now we poets our ink must sling
And can't go out to enjoy this bright May day.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24
A Notable American Triumph ON the
English Turf.

The race for the Newmarket Handicap,
the first really great fiat race of the En-
glish season, was run on the 18th of
april, at the little town in Cambridge
SHIRE" as the metropolis of the British
turf is commonly called. This race is a
handicap of % sovereigns each, 10 for
felt, and 3 entrance only if declared,
with 400 added; for 3-year-olds and up
ward The distance is about q mile and
a half. There were thirty eight sub
scribers, fourteen of whom declared for
felt.
The race resulted in favor of the
American horse, Parole, against whom
the betting was 100 to Is just previous
to the start. All along he has not been
even mentioned in the betting. The
favorite was Isonomy. There were only
six starters. The result was not known
here until very late tonight, but among
those who heard of it great JOY was
manifested. After the failure of Mr..
Sanford in his venture on the English
turf, the determination of Mr.. Pierre
Lorillard to send a stable of horses
ACAOoS UAAC AVIuAOAC WdS IcSdTOCu WILL
admiration by American turfmen, but
the misfortunes that beset the stable
after it's arrival at Newmarket somewhat
dampened the enthusiasm that had been
aroused. The Duke of Magenta was the
first to suffer, and later came reports
that Uncas was ailing and would prob
ably not be in condition for the Two
Thousand Guineas or Derby. How well
he has fulfilled his mission in represent
ing the American bred horse is recorded
above. Parole has always been favor
lite with the American public, and es-
pecially so since he defeated Ten Brock
and Tom Ochiltree in the memorable
contest at Baltimore. Parole is brown
gelding, and was foaled in 1873. He is
about fifteen and half hands high and
unattractive in appearance, being very
plain about the head and generally
rough in the coat, so that it is a difficult
matter to tell by his looks when he is
really in good form for hard contest
NeoC York Herald.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24
SIMON SLOPE.

That was all the reading-matter that
the Ton,myhaauk contained. There
were some advertisements, principally
calling attention to the manufacture OF
sweet-fern cigars and asking for the re-
turn of lost balls and jack-knives. AL
together the paper was success-if the
success of paper can be reckoned by
the commotion it creates. The above
number was issued on Saturday morn
ing, and before, midnight of the same
day Mrs. Slope had received note from
the minister declining her "hjaad invita-
ton to tea" and devoting several pages
to as hearty abuse as minister could
frame in language. Mr.. Stokes store
was visited by committee of the tenn
perance society, who brought an officer to
seize the "soothing-sirup" key; and,
before he had gone, another
minion of the law had Mr.. Stokes
in hand for selling adulterated
goods. That same night Deacon Pep
per discharged his hired boy, without
notice. On that same afternoon Mr..
Singing Snodgrass walked into the bar
ber's shop, thrashed the barber, broke
the bottles, and went straight off and
proposed to Billy Smiths sister, who
accepted him at once. .......
The edition CT the paper was sold in
no time. There was not COPY of it
left by 3 o'clock in the afternoon, and,
while ST Slope was that evening making
a selection of candy and dime novels,
for which he intended to pay with the
proceeds of the sale, he was seized upon
by Mr.. Percival, who proceeded then
and there to chastise him. He had
hardly escaped from this angry man
before Stokes boy had him by the hair
of the head, dragged him into the mid
die of the street, and, putting him down
in the mud, kicked him till he was black
and blue. Capt. Fungus saw the fight,
and came and helped Stokes
boy. At last, covered with mud
and with shame, the young editor
made his escape and HE'D him home
ward, vowing vengeance. He was just
turning the last corner when he met the
boy whom Deacon Pepper had turned
away, and this wicked boy had horse
WHIP. OuCu SuIIoAluS WdS lever uoaru
before in Snaptown.
After this last infection ST sneaked
into the yard, saying: "Never mind, Til
pay them up next week. I've got things
to tell about all of 'em. I'll get every
one of them ickingw And ne went
across the yard to lock up the Tommy
haaok Office. AS he approached the
building, the Tompkins boys sprung
out upon him, and, acting as leaders to
score more Of fiery and untamed
youngsters, they, proceeded to tear
down the building before Simon's very
eyes, having previously bound him tc a
tree. Then they pelted him with the
types, and, it being quite dark, made a
glorious fire of the debris of the struct-
ure. Mr.. Slope, seeing the light, came
rushing out of the house, and, instead
of driving the boys away, shouted:
Go it, boys. Serves him right. And,
when you've done, I'll take him in
hand" And Mr.. Slope did take him in
hand pretty effectually-so effectually,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24
IN SPkING-TIME.
BY JAMES T. FIELDS.

Every year when young April, just wakened comes
round
With her robins all ready to sing,
oiess the dear God that still am alive
10 welcome another new spring.
Inat above, and not under, the blossoming ground
M limbs are yet steady and strong,
1hat stlli can breathe in the sweet vernal air,
ana hea natures marvellous song.
Inc H.T Drooks, making melody under the sky,
I'M oaii the blood of youth back into age
AI ne heart OF the universe seems keeping time
TIL 10 s delights in which all can engage.
Inc flower of life and the flower of love
Are everywhere blooming to dav-
oeath ana darkness no longer stalk blind through
the world
80 let us take hands, and be gay.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24
NEWS.

The editor Of the S-n Ct, on
returning from the lodge of Freemasons
last Tuesday Evening, was called an
"outrajous old donkey" by his wife, who
kept him sitting on the doorsteps for
three-quarters of an hour. He had for
gotten his latch key.
Billy Smith informs us that his sister
thinks the new singing-teacher just
lovely. She remarked at the tea-table
last Sunday Evening that all through
singing-school she felt just like finging
her arms around his neck and kissing
him. We cannot commend her taste
for we should not like our sister to
care for man who has his hair dyed
on the sly every Saturday Evening, as
our BARRIERS son informs us Mr.. Sing
ing Snodgrass does.
Mr. and Mrs Percival had another row
about pocket money last Friday night.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24

IT is stated that Minnesota miller
has invented an entirely new process of
grinding wheat, which does away with
the mill-stones now in use, and substi-
tutes therefor vertically running gran
tie disk in direct combination with a
circle segment of French burr. This
new process produces 80 per cent. of
middling.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24

of over thirty-6ve years, are valued at
$4,000, Among them is a complete
collection of copper, silver and gold is
sues of the United States, together with
nearly complete set of the old Colon
ial coins.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24
HAMMER.
BY S. Sc.

l love you hanner-hanner dear
And do you hammer love me?
II you do, you see, Well build us boat,
And go sailing into the Caribbean sea.
will defend you while live
And fight for you till I die
And if you don't love me hammer dear
shall certainly heave sigh.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24
indeed, that Simon was obliged to stand

1nueeu, Jnat Olmon was Obliged to stand
at his meals for week afterwards.
Poor boy! The day after that first
and only issue he was seen imping out
to the ruins, and, as he stood there, lean
ing ona cane, and surveyed them with
his one unblacked eye, he was heard to
murmur: aThings amt as they was.
There's no premium on telling the
truth nowadays. George Washington
couldn't have edited paper without
lying; and I'd rather go to school all
my days than ever try it again"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24

Miss Slope will have the minister
and his family at tea next Wednesday.
Great preparations are in progress.
She has borrowed Mrs. Peppers china
Tea Set for the occasion and the re-
past will be spread on Mrs. Stokes long
damask table-cloth. She has sent her
best spoons down to Boston to be re-
plated and sent word to have them ali
marked to look as nigh as can be like
real silver. She says that whatever the
minister's sermons amount to she's
bound he shall have good supper
and that's what he don't often get at
home with such wife as he has.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24
THE SNAPTOWN COURANT.
BY SIMON,

BY SIMON.
The meanest paper under the sun
Which hardly anybody ever reads,
1t is like old rusty Continental gun
Loaded with Punkin seeds.
1t can't shoot straight and it never hits,
And it does not hurt if it does,
And when it shoots it kicks so it nearly sets the
editor into fits.
Such an editor! Oh--dear me-suz!!i
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24
They had better be careful how they
quarrel with their windows open.

Our friend Tom Stokes informs us
that his father the grocery man does
keep rum in the key down cellar la
beled Soothing Syrup and that Cap
tain Fungus has jug filed there every
week. He says also that his father
sometimes puts chalk or some other
white stuff in his sugar.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24
Deacon Pepper has boil on his nose.
He half starves his hired boy and we're
glad he's getting his "come up-uns.'

The Thompkins family keep their
children on rather short allowance.
One of them informs us that no more
than one piece of plum cake is ever al
lowed them at time.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24

ARTICLES .-CATs.-Cats are about
the most interestingest animals there is.
You can have more fun with a cat in
half an hour, if you have a good tree
handy and an enterprizing dog, that you
can with whole travelling menagerie.
Cats and fre-crackers are mortal
enemies tie bunch to q
cats tail and set 'em of, and they will
go down the street like a frry comet.
N. B., wire is better than string to
fasten them on with-as string is liable
to burn off. It is very pleasant pastime
to see two cats fight. Their tails may
be tied firmly together, and, for fear
they might tear up things in the garden,
it is a good plan to hang them across a
clothes-ine. They can be heard miles.
/ have often seen them. Some folks
regard this sport as cruel; we call such
folks chicken-lvered. Did you ever
see shaved cat? They are very sim
gular creatures may be done with a
razor if you know where your father
keeps his'n. You tie up the cats paws
in old mittens while you are doing of
it. Some folks don't think it hardly
pays-and shall never be guilty of do
ing of it-though do think a father is
rather mean who whales his boy all
over-when his finger is cut half off and
his face scratched all over all ready.
Kittens are very pretty. There are
more than forty of them in the water
under the mill bridge. They nearly all
of them have stones tied to their necks.
It is very unfeeling thing to drownd a
kitten. They are inherent harmless
creatures. Cats are great singers. The
Chinese eat cats. What can you ex-
pect of the heather? Some people
hang dead cats as May baskets-it is
only a joke but the folks that get 'em
never seem TO appreciate it. There is a
great many other things about cats
but l think [ have given you plenty
of ideas already, so will close.
SIMON SLOPE.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24

Mr. and Mrs Percival had another row
about pocket money last Friday night.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-24

SPRING.
What beautiful time is spring,
When the woodchuck begins to sing,
And the bumblebee and chickadee
Garry their heads around in sling;
When the black and tickling ants
Crawl up the young mans pants,
And the straddlebug and mosquito hug,
While the spiders engage in dance;
And the bird gets drunk on dew,
And offers the robin chew,
While the great owl blinks and the sparrow wlnks
At the wife Of the gray cuckoo; = <.s5,-
And the coon goes off on spree
Along with the chipmunk and flea;
The odorous skunk gets laundering drunk,
And tries to make love to the bee.
-
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-11-27
Nashville Banner.

We respectfully call your attention to the fact
umn newspaper, is new clear and beautiful type
making it the largest newest and brightest evening
journal in the South. Geographically ii has no
peer South OF the Ohio,
The success attained by the Banner is without
parallel in the annals of evening Journalism in the
South, and the great improvement which it has re-
Gently undergone Is due to the very liberal support
it is receiving from legion of readers and advertis-
ers, whose number IS constantly being augmented
Deeply approaching the extensive patronage which
has been accorded them in the past the prOprietors
promise redOubled energy and enterprise in the fu
ture.
The Banner is Democratic in politics, and while
advocating the principles npOn which the Govern
ment was founded, and without which it must
founder will net fail to expose the facilities OF mis-
taken policy and condemn that which is antagOnis-
tic to the general welfare Of the people.
It viii conform to its usual promptness in pre-
senting TO its readers the latest and most reliable
general news OF the day, at completeness in all that
is characteristic of frst-class newspaper. Every
department viii be edited by careful and expert
enced journalists, who viii maintain a judicious
reputation for av oiding everything that may be
considered Objectionable to good taste.
Leading topics fully and ably treated in its
editorial columns; selections for the home, farm,
counting room and workshop are made with much
care the local department Is full and complete
and special attention is paid to the CONNER
cial and financial reports which are recognized as
correct By seller and buyer
Subscriptions to the Daily and Weekly wiz be
received by the Nashville Banner Publishing Com
pany, No. % North Cherry Street, by whom speci-
copies Of either publication will be sent free tC
any address upon application. 81 per year
NASHVILLE NNERPUBLISHINGC COMPANY
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-11-27
Bedford Virginia Alum asd Iron Spring.,
WATER, MASS AND PILLS.

efficient in scrofula and Skin diseases.''-J. NJ.
Allen, II. d., n. C.
''Succes sfuI in Dyspepsia and Chronic DiarTh9a.'
Prof Sam'l Jackson, NJ. D., University Of Pa.
adapted in Chloratic and Anamic conditions
and certain diseases peculiar to women disorders OF
the kidneys and bladder."-PrOf. }. J. Norman,
NJ D., Va.
Satisfactory in Dyspepsia, Chronic Diarrhea
and nervous diseases arising from impure blood
also ia certain diseases of females. "-George 7.
HARRISON NJ. D., Physician WOmans Hospital, n. Y.
"Used with great benefit in Malarial Fever and
Diptheria.''-S. i. Dupon M D. Ga.
"Prsmpt in relief of headache, both sick and ner-
yOus, and chilis. Rev. L. G. DOdsOn, Va
Excellent in restoring facilitating systems to
health and strength. "-IhOs c. Mercer, NJ D., Ind.
"Tonic Alternative diuretie one of natures great
est remedies Medical ASso. of Va, Lynchburg.
Recommended as prophylactic in MalariaI dis
triets.'-D. r. FAIREX, NJ. D., n. o.
81 find it the best remedy ever used in diseases
of the throat,'-P. a. SiHerd, III. D. n. c.
Every beneficial in uterine arrangements and
malarious cOnditions-'-G. w. VAIL NJ d. Ohio.
'AIy experience is very favorable to its curitive
virtue. "ThOs. F. Rumbald, NJ D., st. Louis.
Sample supply sent free to any phi gsican desiring
to test it. Pamphlet sent free. Analysis with each
package. Water it comes from the Springs 81 per
doz. Pills pure sugar coated 25 and 80 cents and 81
package; SI.25, $3.50 and S. 90 for half doz. Sent
post paid anywhere. This Mass and Pills contains
in reduced space all the curative powers of the
ter, and is convenient, palitable and soluble.
Address, a. NJ. DAVIES Pres. of the Co.
p. o. Box ia, 70 Main Street, Lynchburg, Va.
Sold by L. D. MOORE, Bolivar Tenn. aug 14-6m