, 1879-07-04


PARIS EtNsrAi'ER WIT.
Neg }n+k Nnla.
Ingenious lcsiee Ut tn. Iartaian ncwsmfn:
"Buy La l<a,.terne tu dav-il'. perfectly b-astty"
"l'm INTERNALLY t1Isantte! with mir wlrc-
hats tic long :rd short Of It." nW'hat's
wrnue now2 Has she been Kicking up any new
capers!" nm. wouliln': st and that; hut she
keeps nh repeating all her old ONES"
"t1ow admirably" eays t'ali,lo, "spfne words
Ic.e.ii,s tllu u!,jec.a to wlIr ,lcy u.c applied.
Thrsc>s ,lir word 'nranse.' fnr instancc. Sow,
Hi orange is orange IN c1fot, It has the fnrm vi
MI orange, tlie tnsLet t,f MT orangc--nsy, it IS
really a'ul truly M orlnGe, NJ talo not1c would
lead you To nxl'ect."
Twu old ftirsnis tnnct af:cE long ats.nco at
In. door of club where t!s:rn II a Eaotl deal Ut
play for pretty larEe staErs. First Friend
"N'hat! Ai~ays r1as!ng .ns mi: ruinc.' Yeti"
Second Tripni-'' Not yrt" First Friend
"Why. wl'at il wrong with tic clubf 1t must
be going down hill"
"h1a. pa snys not to st 1nrn on the benches
In ttc pArk tl,nt ura marked 'l'aint,' Or I'll
yu,1 src n uawly painted beucl, 70 an1 Sit right
tluwB on It aud lit everybody sec Tint pair OF
nrw trousers to Us arr ausy drop In the bucket
Il neaD in til. ~nsdrobe."
Young swell arrives at his unclo's house.
whcrr "era,ni d'nnar.oar;y i raging at an IN
u,,nky," l's savs. "hut The fnet is ttai IS III,
were tassiu. Monttnarcury 1ls fut eatne nut,
and just tnr tsln ~e stortTd a!td Et& tt n
tlonlcy.r,lng party." The unsle (coIaly)-You
did, ehl Who rnac you?
scs,wihtlells. the great banknr. ssststin. a.
arithmetic: s.l,wintlnlls, Jr.--" Nine from two
i can't, 50 bosrow one ami-' 6chwsndclls.
SE.-Rurrnw ona-tlc wrpiaIcd c!irbatone
Inrket-silct, opcrntorI Come on. of this sel'o"l
Klali ever remain nj tcllooI wlIeto he ts taught
tn borrow less than l0,otN!'
A shopkeeper, having ,oa1e tis fortune. r..
tIrus tn rather 1o,scsoipo little village twenty
# nuisance living In such srnal nlaes:" ssys
itIend: "ne xna. t xd1hv h
get fresh eggs, unl milk. mud uutiar here every
morning: frpa ahd everything .ynu. can ask
for-lrolff,, city: lteil you, there's nothing
like. sosatry l!fe."
sgspathlztng Customer {to merchant at time
w}Ln the intn tt raineth every day-s0tnctiinrs
ff!cc)-"Wcll, von ot,Ehtn't tn complain about
business being duli--tllGre Ia llyoly cuougl,
demand for umbrellas, anyway" Detected
Tradesmcn-"oI, well, there Is pretty fair
complain OIL tlsat po!nt but then. on The other
hantl, tl.e suns.,ade trade il ail gone to the
deuce" (Bursts Into tears, and cEen miahes'ho
III the ll6fsiot1 Of the Visconnt the passion for
gnlubtlnc Las driven out ut 0ycrruWercd urerY
DtlIer sentiment. The Other evening, a** tile
p1ay At his club wns At tt@ hight, i telegram
Was brought to HIN announcing; the sudden
death ol thr Fiscountesk. AL cyes were fixed
upon him, md co,nprehsns'i,; Ut u,'ee tint he
was expected to show Ills grief by nlnkng snttic
co,eess.ou IL public sentiment, tlIe Ytsrouut
dashed TITS baud across bis efes NAl said III
eofteur0 vpica: t1Icse,-cxcllsc MY Clnoilon,-
i won't raise You 500 franys; I'll only 60 you
ESQ bcttcr.h
Vtvicr, the incorrigin'e practical joker, who
epent SO many yrAra OF hts life Tor the benefit of
thr customs officials tu travelling about with two
trunks, u,lu containing rattlesnnkes ind the
otl.rr packed full Of odd bDut-ttraps ty by.
Iraulc pressure, having sold all The human
ract hos takcn to foollnE ot}Ier ind inaninlate
lhtngs. lis last victim was poor dumb
''lt wRs,'' he says, "spltnd!d, bright summer
Weather when vent into my dnlngroo4r allti
saw IN tho table nica pichor Of fresh milk.
didn't brea1lien word, but Wcut Gent}y and
cjusesl tc shutters, drew tie curtains, at,t wont
into Tic next room, whure took tho fra.shoyel
nlIt tan.s; blew, thundered. raincsl. an-
chained Tic elements to the best Of uy ability
Tor three minutes, exel.iIninE from tino 10
time, tIIuw 1t cs,,llts downn '1lIl you creE see
sich 1iglltu!ngl' n1ni 10 oh. THIS done, 80
buck to the ditill'g.ronni, open thu cur.
tulns and sll!tera anl let N the sunlight aud
look at Mr. Miik-pltcller. May bc my hinged
II TIC mills hadn't so.rr.sl lrcgnrtacl 1t dis
lalufu1ly nnd, cross!Ag nv ar1us. said Lo tho
milk, said i, sYou miserable idiot, tlosl't you
know that theru hak been 10 thunlerbtoru,,
t!mt pus IN ttat elelnGus! disturbance on youl
You ought for very shntne'a sake 10 turn fed-l
uean to turn awcct again.