Daily Republican., 1879-09-11
HIS WISH.

CAT2 WOIu lOOA VA hAp ASSS'
"Do You want some potatoes |"
III never eat them. I can't remember
exactly what l came in for"
"Perhaps you want come coffee 7"
"Aint il funny l can't remsmberr
remarked the stranger ~ he scratched
his chin with the back Of his hand ana
scanned everything behind the counter
in q Wild but Intellectual edors to brush
up his bad memory.
"Do you want milkF
"No, that ain't it." 49,.
"Is it macaroni, mustard, ohowchow.
soap or wine jelly.
'Nons Of them, sir"
"possibly you want . small measure
Of beets 7"
"Indesd l do not" Then his eyes
sparkled and he said:
az have it now. ! remember what !
came in for; it all came back to me like
a dream Of love-"
"What do you wantl"
swell, now, it's as plain IS day
Wasn't 1t funny didn't think Of lido
forsi
at was rather strange; but what
will you havss -,
"You won't get mad will you ~
"No SIR" ..
swell, then, l will toll you. Just
stepped in here to ask you II you'll
sc, atch my back little for me, have
the prickly heat"
H. wasn't scratched, but had it not
been for his activity hs would have
bren kicked.-New York Star.
If thers is one time in boys life
when he thinks that tho world wai
made in vain, it is when he tears hii
pants in crawling under the canvas
and instead Of seeing horses and clowns
and elephants and monkeys, tall mar
with a long black coat and white choke
on, hammering the Bible for all no,
worth, meets his astonished gaze, and
lascsrtains that he's got in the wront
pew and crawled under the gospel tent
At the risk of his life, when he nigh
have gone in At the dosr for nothing.
i we'll known amateur fashionabl
author was hardly treated the other day
He has fondnsss for the companionshil
: Of literary Boherians, though quit.
unnaturaily he objects to bs seen will
them in those spots. where society mos
do oongrszate. Having been stare
> at with blank amazement by the occu
pants Of a drag, he turned round OF
his friend, and said: ~ cannot un
derstand why men Of letters shout
: think it necessary to dress badly
!, "Wait till you are one !" WAS the nj
q kind response.
i A man may 20 fishing and catch
j, handsome string Of fish, and lose thel
ont of tho back OF the wagon comm
/ home, or have them grabbed by tn
!. dog al the house where he left his team
r hut he can never tell the story an
have it believed.
i An Iowa Limburger cheese factor
. WAS struck by lightning the other nigt
, and ths lightning got altogether tn
J, wsrst Of 1t. ...-.....-
. One man asked another why b
heard was so brown and his hair
white, "Because," he replied, zone
twenty years younger than the other.
"This cheese is mitry, and must :
- tail" said the grocer's clerk as b
~ - washed It in soap to make it look as
=. n ver. fresh off tho vine.
vi The contsnted rustic-"Well, Pete
v YOUR crops must be ruined by this u
q timely rain" "Yes, your honor; bu
4, thank heaven, so are the ntighoors''
,s All the axes and buck-saws found
n the ruins of Pompeii are of lig ut max
W AZ If constructed for w0man's use.'
8. Thos- old ancients knew their lit
ID business.
N A young lady, the other evening XII
ID ed in the dark, q young man whe
she mistook for her lover. Discoverl
her mistake, she said, ''It's not he b
N it's NICE" ..
no No He seems to have been shot in 7
40 40 diaphragm" said the doctor. ~
4. noi'' exclaimed his weeping listent
no "be was shot right in the lower END
. the saloon"
H. "vill you take someding'' SAID
Is (}ermau testotaller to q friend, VIII
ut standing near tavern. ~ don't o.
he il do," was the reply. "Vell' den'
Us take q Walk"
:.
At an auction Of miscellaneous q
cles out Of doors 1t began to sprinh
ed when bystander advised the auoti'
10 eer that he had better put up an
.at n 4La xaxt artinla