davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1879-06-19
Why 1Le Was Absent.

n the Editor Of The Tribune.
CHICAGO, June 17.-In your report Of Coun-
cfl proceedings Of yesterday notice you report
Aid. Lorcnz. Of the Fourteenth Ward, absent
It maj be cdffylng to his admltng constituents
to knew tho real rnuse Of his nesense.
Now, sir, the Alderman has Just Eono into
The snloon business within the last forty.cight
hours, md, having occasion to pass along Cor
nell street oil Monday evening about $3.50, md
locking into tho SALOON located at No. III, was
not little an.azcd 10 kce AID. Lorcnz seated
plaYlng rar,ls In hts newly.purchasca SALOON,
Instead Of attending to tic interests OF hs
nluc.l-abused S0ctafstte eonsttuenta In tho
Council nruting OF tl,at evening. fiorc is 4
rase for u trial, clear breacl. Of trust.
Oh! Acknowledgment. Is this to DO our
treatment after clcctl'g this our idol Ia our
midst M preference to mitch better meMa |
would not ryen venture to suggest where tho
purchasc,nnna $500, came from, 1ut OH
brother Socialists, do mt pass this orer with.
out searching investigation. Yours rcapect-
fully, a CoNsTIruEST.
, 1879-06-19

was dressed II sombro color, MS haff-'nnnrnIt,g
hls younger brother. Pflncc Kung occun'eti
ONE Of tic ycllow.covcreA carts. The lniper!al
family arc privileged tn rlde iii carts thu wllcrls
Of which are set thr back. tho nbcst Of thts pc"
II Is y characteristic fnct that no omc nmIer llu
rank IT Prince Of tho blood ts permitted to Tn.
Iny this alienation. The 2fst day III ihr tnnpn
otherwise the 18th Of April--was hcle:ted ~
the Astrouvn,tcai Bureau rs l,ctnE particularly
In t,taIn fact, however, II was fearful llay-
one Of the snr1 worst sort. There was strong
wind h1awl,,t., md the sat'l.ssorm which nrusa
vns slrh ~ 10 make u,e wholc atmosphere
lurld, reddish yclldw.
, 1879-06-19


from our nulte lIfp into tho Infinite, and hs has
Ia, a.. N,otin, nnt a, ann ,xIt t,n,,, ,,ta,t ha
elt u, noasa ous ~ soa ,'"as zoat
s"ee. n''u 'l'e 3sea,' "'ssu u"ectta".f' nelsas
world full OF wrecked souls secfas ttsa9RlsHg IN
he1pIcsB onpnstton to The clements, tossed nnl
driven by adrereitr nnd poverty, without faith,
witbout honc. cnverno, only hr u,u unteaahtd
"e"uus "ope' E"'e'"ou ""'t ~ ~ ~
apnei'tos; passions ats!, nfonons.acs9 w.. ~ u @ ne
aud us clntsr SsaG Sul W yautsh. ill., ' '' '''' "' '
~, su."mS "''' t'AseuS lo"o" ou'" o'"e' "e'o''
'1r ssnE"' @ l., a., ,r,,d .o,,-,,r,
a 1ueh ~" .atc' y, ". ,,, III III
frscnd, sho i.as 's sion ,Ss, ' md ebl'ic, aa,i
.enemas n,' @ MuetaaEcs @ 70 ~n. n,anr, ~ Ms ~,
saes @ n H. ~, S H. ss ~. ~ M sG smd "'''
"u n., rno en ~ ..ct1,; 2 I , ~ -oyo,
u,s e ,o nsg n!it wv tn> sh LII ma, yrenstn.
J5 ~ Tsn,rsh mi at,,n .rI ~ etui iIfo ~
'" .ri .;.n,. @ ,.T.t,,,, i. ,o jn ~ .,n1t.,,,x
aia e.eep S'otntns - =" 'o'Se' sou'e'ea"1
ataP'a ~ uie1u!so !!'e VIII. A..
turtI H % 9yar via To- VIII VII tGc it'll Of nraat civ. ~
1Isa ,,ns t,,H.s ~ VII H., o"
vf,nosi III intiS,n"i wtn' VII, "a lax nf HnTv
st,,nmm.int. m iIis fire. Mi ,,neouscInt,. of ths
wnri,I,s nIiurrtncnta. n mating bca ,na for
iss.,s.n tf.iI iii fn tor.s .mnao rwfrf H.. hss
nga"s ~ ~" md dr.pair, sho groaps: "He is my part.
's. A,rsady ,1 I The young giant Reform has raised
Its head 10 tcnr ti,e mask from this SANITY hyp-
ncritc. md drug lin 10 tie riser,s brink lid
compel him to sharc with the poor, ahtverlng,
hearthfoReh. acspaflns, iost woman her shame
and suffering.
Lixa tl.c denonemebt a. mnskeo'palA. Thon.
a. tho uhtnasktut.. tho King and bcgQhr chnngc
places. TIC santa and slnner4 Of toay are pass'
ME eagh other 70 thcis aeatinte1.
a churel!.tnembcrsh!p IL no longer q through
tleEet 70 Heaven; nor IL tic world Without lis
Chtistians:
Al day th!s Wild panorama has passed before
mana 10 arrest the lneTitabic destruction OK
some suffering wreck, the Hh'ri o. eIrrufn-
stafIfee! IKE the tnexorablo hanu or fhke. nAs
sWept tnena beyond ny feaeh, tat ING ceattal
iioare q ail thls maa chaos .! misery ms heen
Nara sfnllh. or otHerwtso MARY HAYES; a1si,
from the little paragraph, tn Aton1ay's TR1nuAa
which portrayed 50 mueh oil yer m1sery, have
tried 70 RIean aomothlnH Of her htstoFy aid
Some lope Tor her future.
''1ias she A father;
Has siso mother;
H. H. .s .so sIt,s;,,. sist9s;
1v,. ., ,ha,. s ~ ~, tan,an,, : '.ys H.. ali
Tits great, wicked city no friend In this terrible
hour Of despair
40 for the rarity
Or Christian charity
Under tho sun"
Sho 10 Homeless and frtendless, aud SICK, and
destitute.
Whcre Is her emlnent1y pioua md charitable
former enpIoyerl
Where Is tile selfish, sof-centered Benedict
whose rich salary would be sufficient to support
wife md many children 10 atilucuce, and who
tress," ad then left her In unrelioYed pvnurY1
The victim OF hab,t-no more deatructtvo,
1,nr tyranntral, nor debastng than the hahltual
lsss IND ., Yant H., aud sin drove her to na death to
, 1879-06-19

fn M eloquent speect: the tuast ut the Uulver.
silly. a AnYmposlutn Ut students was afterwards
held At RiampeNborr,
, 1879-06-19
The Churches and A1ausnnaonsS.
Ia tho Editor nt The Tytbu,ls.

CHICAGO June Ill read witt, interest Dr..
McChcsucy'a aurmon published III Mondays H.
sue likewise tho opinions Of certain Chicago
0iYimcs In Hunllny's s'rHlnuAninregnrut to church
choirs engaging In "PInafore"
DR.. Thomas seenB to be the only minister 30
fur who does not attempt 10 conccal tho honest,
mauly feelings With which Tod Ina endowed
lin. Humanity rebels ugalliat aud will forever
rcaent contracted, mud narrow, and selfish ideas.
This furoro thnt has beuu raiseu In regard to
church people eagag!ng H. harmless amuse.
mcnts IL ono Of tho slicst n,ost nonsensicai
pieces OF folly eyer ongsndcred.
have seen a pastor Of Christian church,
standing OIL tho pulpit steps after tho festival,
acting as aucttonser.lM dlsnosing Of cake. fruits,
md flowers, a,n!d perfect hedaam Of confusion,
nnu alter this auction was over tho lads And
lass'es kept step 10 tho enltvcntnE music OF the
organ, anl q swing round the circle. seasoned
With kt4stnE The girls by deaeous and pastor.
sonctuaea ts tl. Snl9yaoe onssstatnnent Tut
was atutucMtly proper II 1t could bring In q few
lollara IN ar4ier to cancel part of The ''church
1tbt"; hut II such dotr,gs were transacted In
sy aress ae ID elk 4 moSa nhqs Sas stesr cit
tonaesnnsa Us Wicked and sMtul. 'rhs only
way to tcat anything ol this kind Is for a few
church cloirs to lay ulcir hvads together and
accursrd dobf, ei.arce M alMlttaucu fee of Is
couts,-ull 10 70 In tho church trcnsurY,-the
ptaT to be "plnafUre,"-ho many pastors or
,aeasons, OF srasteel would refuse tAs offer,
provided tic church building was tho eccuo ut
opcratlons On weekday eVennKsi
! ventura t0 prrdict not one, honest md
faithful decisions wero given by The Aforesaid
gentlemen.
Inrro Is too much weak, wshy-washy sontI.
mentality peTyading religious soelsties md
elisirehea at tho preseut tlav. God iuteuIcd
every human being to l,0 snaH or pof,,at, and
not arlyol!ng, sentimental l,arwin,au thcnrics.
As tho world guts more fully enlightened by
aouud reason Ht,1 common set,ss IN religion, art,
Or sciei:t, lust 80 lar Will human tn.sds uxpand
and grasp with unerrtIE accuracy thu crumbs OF
enjoyment UNI pleaatre thrown out by Dylne
Wisdom to tsse buhgs lie hus created.
Sinful pleasures only esna1tnta from wicked
sources, ailt! can noV0r give true, laasEg lappi-
MSS; but innocent ants righteous AinuArnaen.s
leip to pro0ng !fo a1ld further the plaus VI the
indulGont Oliver Of u!l good. L. MouAT,
What VIII Necosns Of Mary Iayo4f
10 ihs Eatlor a. Thu 1Fthans.
CHICAGO, Juue lA-Wo live in an ago Of
horrors and sensations, butcherles, wita-killng,
ehi!dxlling. ,noustsustttos, ptccocities, wuuldpe
miracles. ths highest sxaltataoH u faith, md
tho farthest reach Of inAdellsna.
MoodT prearhca lu tho tabernAcleS the literal
Interpretation Of the Old Testament, and calls
for sone one to prove htlnself Daniel, aul
dare the feroetg aud appetite, uua lugersoll,
speaking In crowded theatres. tears from our
loossntuK grasp at tho csseds which reached
, 1879-06-19
Tho Water Stirply.-

CHICAGO, juno 18-l did not understand rour
correspondent ". B, I1.n as claiming tint the
water used Ia commercial establishments WINS
wasted, but as ohIectlug to its esttuata aE part
Of the consumption of families in the city. Tie
statement was made In THE TRIBUNE few
days siuco that tho supply furnished indicated
tho use or wnstc OF water III tho city to bc somc
thing over hogshead day for each man,
woman, "s1 child Ia the city. Nothing was aatd
as To whether tic cntIra amount Of water
pumped wns thus estimated, or wholher dedue-
lion was made for thu consumption BY factories
AID Misunderstanding establishments aenesasly,
and Of tho water used Tor strcct-spriuklfng,
scwer-Ausi.Mg. ard the enosmous use at tires.
From such opportunities a. haro for obserra-
't[on, and they arc not Uncomfortable, as
speak froM knowledge of tho gen.
eral feeling amone acgnantances who
are houscholders. md as knowing something Of
dwellings, should ssy that there - little ground
for such sweeping charges generally. The most
considerable exhibition OF waste which Iiava
noticed .sas cont FROM down.town offices, where
II Is quito common during the summer to keep
the water running all day during otllca hours.
fh!s Is done to secure water "a tresh aud cool ~
possible for drinking purposes; but In most Of
tho homes Of the city Ice is kept In suf3!cieut
quantity TO make th.a conssc unnecessary,
yenturu to sn} TINT a call UPON correspondents to
state anonymously tic number of persons In
nse circle Ut thsls acAuaDtanet who allow taps
to run cDntnunusly would meet with H very
feeble response, So far rs private dwellings, aro
eo,lecrngd.
huvc not suKeestcd TINT lawn-sprinkitng be
deducted, nor, indeed, ought street aprinkllng,-
these are both necessities and ctlnot be con.
saered as wa8te,-hnt would Ike SONS inteIi-
tgcllt statement as to the water CONSUMPTION of
thu city II the etntcment Is to the effect tl!at
tho works pump au average OF a hpgahoai u day
for each mau, woman, md child Of Chicago,
tEut amounts 10 nothing IN view uf the uses to
tvi,trks Ia At,1+{t An t4I1t
consumed for domestic or personal use would
be uufe pnrtjuont, Xxx,
, 1879-06-19
4 CHINESE 1MpEltIAL FUNERAL.
Etlsktta{ hE,up1re

The rc.natns Of tho late Emperor Of China,
T'uug Chh nll the late Elm press, ,l,nve been cop
vcyrtl To their final resting plaza ut tic Eastern
'pou.bs,-n distance Ut ahout nai0 Il from pek!a.
Our correspondent saw The proacasIon pass by
peupiig throug, u hole ahuut tho size Of u half
crown cut IN a curtain, no foreigner being per-
n,tttcd to witness the procecd!ugs fle says:
"Whcn Asst arrived u long string Of ssoyeM1y-
looking baygage-wngons we're 1oltng heavily
ulong the road, They camo thrilling aitcr ons at-
otNr In most admired d!sordcr; now Two to-
gethcr, NOW two or three In 4 line; and now q
lung break, after which q solitary cart would
drag ITSELF tuto yiBw. Meanwhile, \ coots
stood In tllu roal and buslcd himself, as best
lo might, In Keeping the thorouehfare In
long and flowing rcd robe nul
yo'low-iuttcd cap would pass across tl!e DELL ot
vision, riding nh ll!'ero11nta pony. Thesu men
form the Lwan-yi Wei, 0r uiasd Of 8tate; a,nt
had they r!ddun IN compact phalanx they
would have presented handsome Ind striking
nE in ranks. Soon there appeared . group Of
Mancln archcrs, armed with hugo bowa mud
| wcll-itcd qulyers but there WAS no uniform
ity of eolorlo tleIr dress, any moro tllau order
aressea i1 brown Or purple; another in blue,
| handsomely embroidered; thtrl perhaps, III
| brilliant silver gray, looking from distanre
| almost wlte; anti they all tsotttd or caututcd
man preferred. 'lEcp catne another detaclraout
| OF the Guarh of State; a1d then l,etcsegeu-
eols collection Of snan1arl1s, gorgeous In uye1y
| variety OF tint auh button nul peacOekts
feather, ,aubllng martiaiy along on tAclr
| scraggy, lll-kept ponies.
At llbt the appearance 1yery now aud then OF
| yellow cdyernsa utrl badguS aunounced tue
llear approach Of the lmperlal party. Suddenly
II hurst into view, First ralno brtll,ant stun
ot Princes, nubles, aud high officers OF State,
resplendent In yellow silk tutlics, scarlet gjr-
t!!cs aud cleaning silks, riding gaylY along antl
iortntiig Euard OF hou0r 10 the three Imperial
| rhnlss. rllo order Of procession from this point
c1oltrs, her lmperlal Majesty Tsxs-au Tuan-yu
h'ang-yt Chao-yu Chuang.king Hu-ang Ia!
Hou, Enibses4 of the East, commonly called
titc Enpress Dowager: her Imperial Majesty
Iaxech'i ruai,yew K'anR.cn'(ug Ci,ao-hoh
Ghuane.ching !luun9 Tat liou, E.apsoss Of tllo
West, commonly called tho Empruss Mother;
tho PRINCES ahd Prfncesses VI tbs Imperial fun.
~, riding tn yellow wooicu carts; tetainers,
! ltctors, aup4Flt0rs, so!dlrE1, otc.
TAr Emprcsxea sat bult uprtghI, looking
straight bofoss them. They sre lnlhle.agctI,
wtll-prescrvod women, with havi, stolld faces,
aml all expression which suggests the idau Of
cold rightly Of purpose. The principal features
OF lls littto E1npefor's faco are u somewhat
projecting forehead and pointed chiu. lio
, 1879-06-19
JUDGE C. c. COLE.

CharCes upon Which ths lows 8tate Bar
-sssoctatlon seeits to soonso His Dlsbar-
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-09-02
A Minnesota Marriage.

The Jackson Mimi RepuJiicsays: "A
farmer who resides out near the Iowa
line had business at Worthington the
other day, and if reports are true as they
come 10 us, that was trip OF no ordina-
ry significance. Night overlook him on
his return, and he sought lodgings In a
cosy but humble cot on the prairie. He
found the house occupied by a lone bach
elor, but as i'm the case Of all old bachel-
ors, he was hospHable and was willing
to share his primitive board and lodging
with the stranger. The traveller discuss
ed the loneliness Of his hosts condition,
and urged him TO seek out some dear
lone one of the other sex 10 share that
prairie home with him, and thus make
two disconsolates happy. This was ex-
actly what that old bachelor acknowl-
edged would suit him, and he listened
with the greatest delight and interest as
the stranger delineated the fine points"
Of certain domestic employed by him,
scarce twenty miles away, and whom he
was satisfied would be love, honey, and
housekeeper TO his bachelor friend.
In fact, he agreed To broach the subject
90 her promptly on his arrival home,
which he did, found things not only
lovely, but she, too, was more than anx-
lous. so anxious that our matchmaking
friend hesitated. Finally, she agreed TO
balance accounts and scratch off what
was due her for per diem if he would
only transport her 10 that lone prairie
bachelor. Impulse and business stepped
i'm and he yielded. Soon that over-anx-
ious twain were, face 10 face, and, as
Spurgeon expressed IL the other Sunday,
their gushing thoughts simultaneously
burst out: First, let us think Of it Sec
ond. let us consider how TO perform il
third. let US do il at once" And away
they sped 10 Worthington, and came
back man and wife, all in less than
two days notice and four hours acquaint-
ance."
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-09-02

each child, then very reluctantly they
leave for their miserable homes.
AT eight o clock, each Sabbath morn
ing, free breakfast is given in the
same place, to the same number of wo-
men and men, and with similar reli-
gious exercises. This hsll was built,
aud all their expenses are met, by vol
untary contributions; and large work
is carried on outside also. This build
ing and work are one OF the results of
Mr.. Moody's work here, SO the super
intendent informed me.
In the evening l attended church in
a mammoth tent on Glasgow Green,
where the poor have the gospel preach
Ell TO them without money, and with
out price" The tent was full, the
singing good. the preaching earnest,
and the people attentive. This work
too is supported by voluntary offerings.
| shall always be glad and grateful for
that days experience; for the personal
knowledge OF what is being done for
the masses in that great city; for Glas-
gov swarms with children, and a very
great work is needed there, more /
think than any other in Great Britain,
except London. In fact Glasgow is
the second city in the Kingdom.
A few days since had the privilege
OF seeing the synod Of the United
Presbyterian Church OF Scotland in
session. The occasion OF the meeting
being the trial OF one of their body for
heresy. The members we're nearly all
fine looking men. The proceeding
we're conducted with dignity and fair
ness. Yet. / must say my sympathies
were with the on. on trial, as he was
evidently honest in his belief. but he
was deposed, as the Synod could not
DO otherwise under the circumstances.
/ have had the wleasure. too, of at
tending a Scotch-weddiDg. 1t ssmes to
be a custom here for well-to-do people
10 60 to a hotel for their weddings. in
stead of having them at home, and the
one | attended was at this hotel, and 1
was invited to be present, because an
American. There were thirty in the
company, all fine looking and fine APP
pearing people. The bride pretty and
modest, both in dress and department.
The ceremony was commenced and
ended with prayer; few words of adj
vice after the first prayer. After the
ceremony the minister came TO me ask
ing il our way was the same as theirs?
To which, OF course, / had TO answer
that we had no advice given on such
occasions. There was very handsome
brides-loaf, which / did not expect to
taste. Thinking il true politeness on
my part to withdraw at once, but was
prevented by the father OF the groom,
who insisted upon my remaining, in
Producing me to his son and new
daughter. and urging upon me double
portion OF cake.
Tonight / leave Scotland TOR Swift
erland, going from Leith, part OF Ed
ingburg, by steamer 10 Antwerp, thence
direct by rail 10 Newcastle. My ar
rangemcnts are made TO remain there
until the lst Of November, and my
friends will please address me at No.
II Faubourg du Chateau, Newcastel,
Switzerland. am very well now, and
am entirely free from ague / trust. My
next letter will be from among the Alps.
With kindest wishes 10 all my Hills
dale friends. NJ. /. MEAD.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-09-02
NUMBER 17l3.
WASHING DAY IN A CALIFORNIA
CAMP.
How the Red Nan First Derided ana
Then Admired.

sunday Afternoon for September.
To such depth OF degradation had
come at last that must wash my own
clothes. and, like Mr.. Mantalini, /
thought u a demnition grind indeed.
Had / been as fastidious as some peo-
pie are. they might have gone unwash-
ed till the Summers end for all Of me
and my drudgery, but my baser nature
prevailed, and / went forth with slop
shop peddler, to wash my clothes.-
Over the valley and half way up the
hill was pool OF warm mineral water
which was better than concentrated lye
for this purpose, so they said. BY It's
side there sat an Indian, solemn and
alone, probably come here on a mission
like mine, and contemplating with tim
orous hesitation the event Of his annu-
al clean shirt. He saw the burden /
bore, realized my intentions, noticed
my hands, the cut OF my whiskers, and
other such items OF appearance, and al
most laughed outright. Well, what
of 1t?
To say that / was nettled by his
mirth aud evident enjoyment is to put
il veiy mildly. could have slain him
forthwith had i not feared remons-
trance ON his part. As il was could
only take revenge, which proved to be
ample and sweet, by teaching him q
lesson in the useful art OF washing
From the moment in which / dipped
the first garment into the water he be-
came interested. When drew il out
and slaughtered il around upon the
rock which was my wash-board, and
plastered 1t with soap, which rubbed
IN with my nuckels. just as had seen
my vii beg her pardon--my washer
woman do, he smiled, not in derision,
but in delight. Then / mangled the
cloth, tortured il, twisted it, and vast
ed the better part OF my strength on it.
After time of exertion, emerging from
sea of lather and suds, gave the
sleansed garment a pull through the
fresh water TO rinse it, and with many
dexterous twirl Of hand over fist, L
wrung il dry. Holding il up before
his eyes, / shook the folds OF the fan
mel to the breeze, and 10, they were as
blue as the depths of Heaven at mid
day. Then the stole savage could no
longer contain his admiration within
himself, and he cried in his confusion
OF tongues: "You sabe munchor-
Which polyglot compliment may be
translated TO mean: you've washed
before! Like as not your wife takes in
washing for living!"
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-09-02
BALM FOR THE BLUES.
Dead men tell no tales, and that is
the reason why coroners find out so
little.

the reason why coroners find out SC
little.
When yesterday / asked YOU love,
One little word TO say,
Your brother interrupted Us;
So please say yesterday.
Hine OF the Lowell Journal supposes
that "when man gets after a grass
widow he has the hay fever"
The dentists in convention agree 10
pull together for another year. Plea.
une.
An editor being asked, "Do hogs
pay?" says n great many do not. They
take the paper several years and then
have the postmaster send il back mark
ed refused. - Boston Post.
"Pork and Beans" is the name of a
new Iowa paper. Hominy subscribers
does the editor expect to secure? Pork
and Beans should be published in
Greece. IL Norristown Herald.
The Guelph'( (Ont. Herald Of the 11th
"pied" its last page, but il does not
take the "matter" to heart. It merely
announces in job Office type on the
blank page that ID will dispose OF the
"pi" to picnics at ante-tarif prices.
The fly that haunts the deserted
school room during the vacation sea-
son and attacks a globe in lien OF the
pedagogue's bald head, tnds that there
is not as much sap in all Asia as in the
contracted area Of an herbles crown
Yonkers Gazette.
The young woman who does scream
when candle bug crawls down her
back is she who later in life can spank
a baby till il thinks the day of judg-
ment has arrived, then go smiling to
the parlor and receive her friends with
an easy grace that is as soothing as a
dose OF morphine. : Steubenville Her
aid.
A gentleman in diapers shop had
the misfortune to tread on lady's
skirt. She turned round. her face
flushed with anger, bat seeing the gen.
tleman was a stranger she smiled COM
placently, saying, 81 beg pardon. sir;
| was going to be in a dreadful pas
sion. l thought it was my husband. !"
Il French paper.
They are making beautiful Reyolu-
tionary relic of the Old South Church
in Boston. The building has been
painted a sweet cream color, and the
copper ball and weather-vane OF the
spire have been gilded like bright
brass. When the repairs are complet-
ell the building will be as impressive as
a mummy wearing n paper collar aud a
swallow-tail coat. - Free Press.
Richard Grant White says the ex-
preston "He ia going for to 60" is in
correct. Richard is too particular.
We suppose he would also object to
the remark, "You git right up and git
right out and git" Aud yet the fell
low to whom il was addressed would
understand it as quickly as If you were
TO sling two pages Of grammer at him.
Il -[Norristown Herald.
A little fellow rushed into the street
recently 10 look at a monkey that ac-
companied an organ grinder who was
playing in front of an adjoining block.
Never having perused the "Origin OF
Man." he gazed in wonder and admira-
ton few moments. and then rushing
into the house he met his grandmother
to whom he addressed this inquiry:
Grandmother, who made monkeys?"
"God, my boy" replied the old lady,
in her candid way. "Well," said the
excitable grandson in rejoinder, "Ill
bet God laughed when he got the first
monkey doneln-l Norwich Bulletin.