Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-06-04
HulllOr.

|
do is when they begin to dust around
after beau.
What rlles country postmistress is
to have a postal card come to the Office
written in French.
The lightning rod man must be al
lowed a good profit, for when he sells
out his business he never can get much
for the good will.
There's no special style of engraving
engagement rings. A spider's web with
fly In it is very pretty device,
When woman promenades the
streets leading dog it looks as if she
couldn't get anything else on her string.
One of the most interesting sights in
| life is that of a spiritual1stic young lady
sharpening a lead pencil with table
knife.
"There! that explains where my
clothes line went to-" exclaimed an
Iowa woman as she found her husband
hanging in the stable.
A North Carolinian, who fought clear
through the war without scratch,
kicked at a dog the other day and broke
| four of his toes.
A tramp in Kentucky has married
widow worth 100000. This item should
be marked and sent to all tramps. Men
are scarce in Kentucky.
An Illinois editor returns thanks for
centipede sent him by mail from Tex
as, it being the first cent of any kind
that he had received for several weeks.
Dink poorly veil Of man dot will
shtood by you When you vas in shtormy
vedder. Shwarums of insecks will shtay
around you When der sun shines out.
An ingenious chap has invented an
artificial honeycomb which relieves the
bees of much work. He hopes to pro-
vide them with neck-yokes and buckets
for carrying home honey.
This is just about the time of the
year when sentimental young girls with
dreamy eyes and sllken golden hair pay
three dollars dozen for potato. bulbs in
the hope of seeing them sprout and
bud into ralnbOw-tinted perfumed hva-
cinths.
A young lady, who ought to know,
says the Boston Transcript, accounts for
the disposition of the average young
fellow to put his arm around a girls
waist by the supposition that he is look
ing for that rib that was taken from him
SO long ago.
Eight masked robbers stopped rail
road train in the west the other day.
AS the train contained an excursion
of editors, the only loss was loss of the
time to the robbers.
In overhauling book Of maxims re-
Gently, a young man was struck with
this one: love, if you would be loved"
He tried it on and got kicked. A head
| full of discretion is better than all the
maxlms ever printed.
| He pressed her to his manly breast
| She seconded the motion:
| His lips on hers he fondy pressed,
There was a slight commOtion.
I'll put the question now; said he,
That you and | be married;
He voted AYE. -" and 'aye," said she;
-Decided:-Fate was carried.
A lady. regular shopper, who had
made an unfortunate clerk tumble over
all the stockings in the store, objected
that none of them were long enough
II want" she said "the longest hose
that are made" "Then, madam" was
tIC iOpIv, yOu LOU USVICl Apply W GlO
next engine house."
A clergyman was preparing his SER
mon for Sunday, stopping occasionally
to review what he had written and to
erase that which he was disposed to
disapprove, when he was accosted by
his little son; Father, does God tell
you what to preach?'' certainly, my
child" ''Then what makes you scratch
it Out?'
He wildly rubbed his eyes, he did,
| With vicious animOsity,
| The while the dust in binding clouds
| Did blow with great velocity,
| But she, sweet lass, pulled down Ter veil,
And smiled on him benignanJIy
| Which made him grind his teeth with rage,
And 1rown on her Indignantly,
A young and pretty girl stepped into
one of our leading dry goods stores the
other day, where a spruce young man
who had long been enamored but dare
not speak, stood behind the counter.
In order to remain as long as possible,
she priced everything, and at last said.
II believe you think I am cheating
you." "Oh no." said the youngest "to
me you are always fair" ''Well," said
the lady, blushing as she laid emphasis
On the words, II would not stay so long
bargaining if you were not so dear"