The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1879-03-21
VARIETIES.

| Man appoints, but women disappoints
Something of q wag-The tip of dogs
tail
The cucumber does its best fighting after
it's down.
Corn is king! Yes, corn is aching most
of the time
| Locking boy up to correct his faults is
faults imprisonment.
Has whisky wings? Certainly; else how
could it fly to mans head?
Adam was the 1st man to enter the garden
| although he went 4th from it.
| Why is the nose put in the middle of the
| face? Because its the centre.
The reason, probably, that sailor is
| called "salt" is because he is one of the sea
| sons
WHATS Biography Bill ?" cts telin' of
forrin lands that we know nothin' about by
cute chaps that's never seen en-"
-"Well, Sambo, how do you like your new
place? ?" Berry well, massa" "What did
you have for breakfast this morning." "Well,
you see, missus billed three eggs for herself
and gave me de brof"
The Rev. Moses Brock was reading a
morning lesson in church about the woman
that had seven husbands, and finishing the
sentence, "And last of all the woman died."
he added, by way of comment, "And well she
mout"
WHY are you looking at me so intent
ly, Alce~ said Theodore. 81 was looking
at vacancy" replied Alice, dreamily; and yet
there is twinkle about her mouth that shows
her appraisement of the young man.-Boston
Transcript
An exchange says kerosene will make
tea-kettles shine as bright as new" Eyes"
remarks another paper, kerosene will do
wonders it will make a whole house shine
so that it can be seen for miles, but il is dread
fully destructive to paint"
"A clergyman being annoyed by some of
his audience going out while he was preach
ing, took for his text, Thou art weighed and
found wanting" Soon after commencing his
discourse he said: You will please pass out
as fast as you are weighed"
"A correspondent wants to know GLOW
Oysters are Fattened?" We never fattened
oysters, but we suppose they are penned up
like turkeys, a couple of weeks before killing,
and fed on corn meal, chopped meat and mush
and milk. Don't crowd too many in pen.
If the oysters are for church fair stews it is
not necessary to fatten 'em.-Nor7fst0acn Her.
dM
"A rurallSb seated himself al a restaurant
table leisurely and began upon the bill of
fare. After keeping three walters nearly an
hour employed bringing dishes to him, he
called one of them to him, heaved sigh, and
whispered, as he spread the bill of fare before
him and pointing with his finger: mister,
I've ct to thar, and moving his finger down
to the bottom of the page-"ef it amt agin
the rule, I'd like to skip from thar to thar"
"A Vermont man has advertised card in
the paper in his town which reads
"Some people have the vulgar habit ofcall-
ing me Bill; that is not my name nor any
part of it. My name is William Palmar. I
forgive all past otfeuses, but if any person
calls me Bill after the publication of this let
ter, L shall take it as downright insult, and
just as much of an insult as though he had
called me by any other hateful name that is
not my own"
Mr. Francis Bar, very well known in
Milan, was in his room counting some money
which he had just received, when the barber
was announced. That person appeared and
commenced operations when suddenly he
threw his razor on the floor and ran out of
the ROOM They caught him and asked an
explanation. "Well," he confessed at last,
"the sight of the gold was too much for me-
If | had not ran away would have cut Mr.
Bars throat and robbed him" Mr. Bar pre-
sented the barber with 100 francs-Pm7s Let