The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-05-14
Shirt of the Press.

Song OF the ory-gooas ciel
Swinging in delain."
All flesh is grass, but the grass
widows are not all flesh.
A lady need not be athletic though
she jumps at an offer.
A volume that brings tears to the
eyes-A volume Of smoke.
A man may be teetotaler, and
yet partake of the spirit of the times.
We have plenty of remedies for
hard times; now give us one for
hard cider.
Why does dentist pull trouble,
some tooth? Because the victim
can't ache it out himself.
King Cetywayo's song: q KaffiF
nobody, no, not !, and nobody
KafI1rs me"
A paper announces the death Of
lady celebrated for the purity of
her character and complexion"
That cruel, hearted Steubenton
says his wife's Easter bonnet isn't
nearly so big as the roll ofbills that
bought it.
In Michigan etiquette permits a
bride to be married without gloves
precisely the way she handles her
husband.
The police of New York are being
vaccinated. But what's the use Of
it, They never catch anything.
A woman's chiropodist at Brigh-
ton, England, has placed this legend
above his door: Hell hath no fury
like a woman's corn"
The man who fell from the edge
of the roof TO the ground and was
served just right. He had 30 right
to be eaves-dropping.
An Ohio COW last week broke a
mans neck by a kick. A mule that
witnessed the casualty went behind
the barn and wept.
It is we'll to remember that for
every 564 bushels of chestnuts in
market some boy has fallen from a
tree and shortened one leg six or
eight inches.
"Why, Willie" said his mother
at dinner, you can't possibly eat
another plate ofpudding. can your
"Oh, yes, can, ma, one more plate
will just fllthe Bill"
The same backache which makes q
boy howl when he's digging potatoes
wreathes his face in smiles when
be slips off the back way to a pic
mic. Boys are curious insects.
In the makeup Of the modern small
boy there is altogether too much
whistle to the amount of boy. 1t is
most too much like using a two-quart
funnel for three ounce vial.
A surgeon has published treatise
on method of curing 'port-wine
marks" In many cases, probably,
port-wine marks could be efectually
got rid of by simply leaving off port
wine.
An English writer says, in his adj
vice to young women, that their
mother Eve married a gardener. 1t
might be added that the gardener,
in consequence of his match lost his
situation.
An iliterate farmer wishing to en-
ter some animals at an agricultural
exhibition wrote as follows to the
secretary of the society: ENTER
me also for a jackass." And he
took the prize.
will the boy who threw that pep.
per on the stove please come up
here and get present of q nice
book?" said a Sunday school super
intendent in Iowa but the boy new
err moved. He was a far-seeing boy.
Boston Post What miserab 0
bosh is all the talk about Confeder-
ates stealing slyIy back into power?
There is not a Southerner in Con.
gress or out, of any influence, who
is not as loyal to the Union to-day
as any Republican in the land. If
possible, the South is under stronger
bonds to labor for peace than any
other section. Her political, mate
rial and social interest all lead in
that direction. The parrot-like
talk about Brigadiers has had its
day. Poor souls are they who can