The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1879-04-17
WIT AND HUMOR.


A NOVEL thing--A readable romance.
POSTED up-The elevated street rail
way. Y~gT, "a vs v4-v-
POPULAR spring fower-Flour of sui
phur. ~.
"WE met by chants" said the choir
singer. ~
The chiropodist sways the whole
foot's-tool. ..ey .m ~ -.,.s.s,5e- -
DEUTERONOMY as you'd have Onomy
deuter you.
AwATcH's tick records time; drums
tick beats time.
The man who sets a bad example
matches mischief. .M
How NATURAL it is for an "old seed"
to ask What's up?"
GONE to seed The farmer who wan
ders forth to plant corn.
If attitudes were animated dandy
| would never strike one.
The most attractive fve-cent counters
are at the treasury, Washington.
| In is singular that the warmest part
of room should be where the frieze is.
In the race for matrimony it isn't al
ways the girl that covers the most laps
that wins.
a CHANGE of Hart-Bob Hart, a
negro minstrel, has been converted in
New York. .s.t..-5 ~
WONDER why Rowen was not engaged
at some New York theater as walking
gentleman"
If man really wants TO know of how
little Importance he is, let him go with
his wife to dressmaker.
A KANSAS man who offered bail for
friend was asked by the Judge if he
had any incumbrance on his farm. ooh,
yes,' said he-"my old woman"
The average female pedestrian could
not hold up to run sewing machine a
mile and half in four days for any
amount of money Chicago Herald.
THERE is lawyer down East so ex-
cessively honest that he puts all his
fower-pots out overnight so determined
is he that everything shall have it's
dew. .azag ..s,sa<s .g-...l F. sss...s-f.. r .
IF Mr.. Edison will only invent pro-
cess for making confectionery out of
sugar and 5-cent-cigars out of tobacco,
he will be entitled to niche 1, section A,
Temple of Fame. ..'ts&
SUPPOSE that the wearing of colored
stockings does poison and cause the
death of hundreds of women. Are not
second marriages often happy?-De-
troit Free Press. t.o.
WHEN you see the announcement:
Women at the polls" you may rest as
sured that woman has gone up head,
and that man, like the prophet, has
gone up bald-headed.
A LADY told her little son, who was
teasing for something to eat, to wait
until breakfast With tear in his eye,
he burst out: II jest honestly some
times think you're stepmother!"
with poor girl to marry rich widow,
and jury compelled him to pay 5000
damages. "Well," he said, as he hand
ed over the money, "I am still about
$4,000 ahead by the change"
A Mr.. ISAAC V. GREEN, of Michigan,
ran away with his wife's aunt recently.
In other words
He ran away with his spouses aunt,
And never again was SEEN
Thus proving anew what old plant
Is the Michigan I. V. Green.
-AtIanta Constitution.
No FIRsT-CLAss reporter will ever for
get to add at the end of an unsuccess-
full burglary item that the fellows over
looked box containing $1,000 in cash.
This always makes the burglars mad
enough to shoot themselves.--Detroit
Free Press. ae
.irta MATRIMONY.
Marriage is like flaming candle-light
Placed in window on summers night,
Inviting all the insects of the air
To come and SINCE their pretty winglets there.
Those that are out butt heads against the pane; .
Those that are in butt heads to get out again.
old Poet.