davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1879-01-16

Symptoms of a Diseased Liver.
pain in the right side, under the edge
L of the ribs, increases on pressure;
sometimes the pain is inthe left side
the patients rarely lie onthe left
side sometimes the pain is felt under
the shoulder-b blade, and it frequently
extends to the top Of the shoulder, and
is sometimes mistaken for a rheuma-
tism inthc arm. The stomach is affect
cd with loss of appetite and sickness
the bowels in general are costive,
sometimes alternative with lax the
heads troubled with pain, accompan-
led with a dull, heavy sensation in the
back part. There is generally a cor
siderable loss of memoEy, accompan-
led with a painful sensation OF having
left undone something iich ought to
have been done. A slikht, dry cough
is sometimes an attendant. The pa
tient complains of we4f;ness and de-
bility he is easily stafeed, his feet are
cold or burning, and hee omplains ofa
prickly sensation ofthsskin his spir-
its are low ; and although he is salts
fed that exercise would be beneficial
20 him, yet he can scarcely summon
up fortitude enough to try It. In fact,
he distrusts every remedy. Several of
the above symptoms attendthe disease,
but cases have occurred where few of
them existed, yet examination of the
body, aiterdeath, has shown the LIVER
to have been extensively deranged.
AGUE AND FEVER.
Din. c. MqLANEssL LIVER Pulls, IN
CASES OF AGUE AND FEVER, when
taken with Quinine, are productive of
the most happy results. No better
cathartic can be used, preparatory TO,
or after taking Quinine. We would
advise all who are afflicted with this
disease TO give them xFAIR TRIAL.
For all Bilious defangkments and as
asimple putyat-y they areunequaled.
BEwARE OF Mutations.
The genuine d. 9. MgLANK's
LIVER Pills are neYef sugar coated.
Every box has a red wax seal on
the lid, with the Impression Din.
McLANE's LIVER Rs&-s.
The genuine Nolan Is LIVER Pills
bear the signatures Of c. McLANE.
and FLEMING Bios. on the wrappers.
TInsist on your druggist orstore-
keeper giving you the genuine DR.. c.
McLANE's LIVER Pills, prepared
by Fleming Bros, Pittsburgh, Pa.
Sold by all respectable druggists
and country st%orekeepers generally.
To those wishing to give DR.c AeI.ARE's LivER
Puts a gfisl. We Wilt mail post paid to kny part OF
ths Uniisa States. Que boz OF Pills for twenty-five
eruta. FLEMING Bros PtttsbEEg, p
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1879-01-16
MYTHOLOGY.
The Grecian Gods.

The a%ncien, Greeks believed their goda
TO be Of the same shape and form as them.
selves, but Of far greater beauty, strength,
and dignity. A fluid named ich0r sup.
piled the place Of blood in the veins Of the
gods; their meat wal " amhrosia," their
drink nectar and they undoubtedly
dressed their hair with Carboliue, which
stimulates the glands Of the scalp into
healthy action. prevents the hair from fall
ing out, and promotes its luxuriant growth,
rendering it soft, youthful, and glossy. il
Ia prepared from natural petroleum, thor.
oughly deodorized and delightfully."- DER.
fumed. Sold by all dealers in drugs aud
medicines.
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1879-01-16
Usage valley n n
Thursday, January 10. 1879.
M ~PNRaONAL.
Notice

To the subscribers and advertisers 10 and
IN abe yidette, during the time ! was propri
s,o,. from Let Oct. 1875 TO Nov, 20 1873.
In the last three weeks issue q said Vidette,
there appeared nm order, requesting all 10 ar
rears, to settle with !, III. Goodrich; by an
arrangement and agreement made with him
on the 2eth Nov: he was TO al all contracts
OF .ub,crlpticn end advertising and deliver
me certain obligations, which be has failed TO
do. Therefore ell such orders, are hereby re-
cinded and revoked. A.. FULKERsoS.
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1879-01-16
NurlUE OF FINAL sGrTLGMtNr.-

NUrlCE OF FINAL SkTTLEMkNr.-
Notice Is hereby givsu 20 a,t csvi,t0rs and
Others interested 10 the estate OF Ssariipg
Conner, deceased. ihat |, the undersigned,
administrator 0i aid estate, intend 10 msks u
final settlement thereof al the next term OF
the Probate Court OF Miller County Mo-, "
be hidden AZ the Courthouse In said county
on The second Monday OF FeufuAr,, 1870.
BKNJ, CONNER, Admr.
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1879-01-16
NOTICE OF FINAL sgrrLgMsNr.-

NUTtVh OF FINaL Oh t.
Notice Ia hereby given to sll creditors and
Others Interested IN the estate OF j. w. KEEL
-sy. deed, that l, the 0n1ctsigned, adm,nis.
trstor of said estate, Intend To make n s1al
s%ettisInent thereof ut the next term Of the
Probate Court OF Miller county. Mo-, to be-
holden ut Tho Court House Ia the town OF
ruscumbia. on the second Monday Of Feb
uAry next, 1879.
JAMES JoaRsroN, Adm.
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1879-01-16
sHERlFF's SALE UNDER SCHOOL
FUND MORTGAGE.

BY virtue and euthotltg OF a special execu.
tlon, issued from the ofN0t Ut the Clork 9th
Couoiy Court OF MiAW County. Missouri,
dated December tn etsb, 1878, and
to me directed, IN favor Of the School Fund,
Of Miller county, and bRainst O. B. Phillips,
NJ principal, and Al 81. Ulmon and d..
Phillips, as tecurities, i hfve levied upon and
81, cod all the right. ale, hterest and clsim
Of the said q. s. Phlllipss OF, In and TO the
following described req estaie, TO wit South
east quarter OF south eastquarter and west
halt Of southeast qususr And south part Of
southeast quarter OF the sonthwesi quarter OF
section II, and the nOfthwest quarter Of north
east qusfter and north half OF northeast quar-.
tor OF the northwest'quatter section IL, all In
townships 80, range "a, 2i4 acres mors or lees,
ia Miller County M,ssrnti; and ] will on
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY g.. 1879,
Il being the 3rd day 81 the Miller County
Court, between she bonfe OF nine o'clock..in
the forenoon and Ave O'Clock In the afternoon
OF that day, at the Court House door, in the
own Of Tu.cumbia, County of Miller atore-
said sell the same, or nnt much thereof, rs
may DO required 81 pnb8a eendue, TO. The
highest bidder, for CASH IN hand, to satisfy
said execution ana cos'e.
r s. MILLER, Sheriff.
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1879-01-16

The article IL telling Its own story IN the hands
OF thousands who are using IL With most Rratify-
lug aud encouraging results;
Mr., OUsTAvUs =. HALL, OF the OATES Opera
Troupe writes; After six Weekr nse am con-
Vineed. as are also my comrades, that your CAK-
bOLISE has aud Is producing a wonderful growth
or hair where / had none for years"
y. M~cCLARRAS, Sixth Avenue Pharmacy.
PlLtsburg, Pa. saysi The good effects from the
use OF CIRBoLINE are brOughtt g. my notice every
dAy 10 such an extent as 10 justify me in recon-
nendlng II to my most intimate frieuds."
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1879-01-16
Tie Makers.

20 tie makers wan ed by me In Ave or eight
mites OF the mouth OF the Osage River. For
particularly spplv At this Office or 10 NJ.
Lssem. Tu.cumbia, or 20 VIM. L Huber
Lslet0wn. J. w. hCCLURG
l-oa1
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1879-01-16

Cattle 50 10 to 10; Calves IS IN 10 90;
Hogs 50 10 2 60; Sat- 81 40,o l 80; Vlnes gar
20'r %; Green apples 50 20 TO 4 rs; Peach
l5c o zoe; Potn,n, s 60c Ia Zoe; q hidos &c 10
o.; flint 10 TO lac; Corn 81 TO 25e; Wheat 70
to 500.
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1879-01-16
Nntios.

This ferry across tbs OsNVa River at Tus-
cumbls, will DO publicly lst st the Court
House In 1uscumhis On Wednesday tbs g l.
Jay of February 1879. Tor such time (uot to
exceed five yesrtl and u, ouch rates otisTrlage
~ may b. Determined by. the County Court
u NJ Ter Gu ty
BY order ol ,aid court.
Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1879-01-16
ORDER or PUBLICATION.
STATE OF missouri. lss.
COUNTY or MILLER. (p2'.

SrATE or MISSOURI. Toe
COUNTY oil MILLER. r.
IN the o. rcuit Court otMiller County. be
fore March Term. 1879, vacation January
s., 1879, Sarah II. SaltetH lainiiH, w. James
w. Salter, defendant.
Al this day comes the piBihtif herein hv her
attorney. aud files her peNfion snd affidavit
alleging Amonget other lhuqf . that the above
detendant IL = non. restt1hI OF the State of
Missouri; w%hereupon itSN ordered by the
Clerk OF said Cdurt thattAid defendant be
bottled by publication, fhst plaintiff has
commenced a suit against him In this court,
the object whereof Is toobtAin n decree OF
this Court. dissolving the bonds of mstrimo
nv, heretofore contracted between the plain
th6 and defendant, aud for the rare, eustody
and control Of the infant child born Of SAD
marriage, and tiist unless the said james w.
~Alter be aud .sppear at this Court NJ the next
term thereof, to be begun and holden at the
Court House 10 the town OF Tuseumb's. IN
gard County. on the Oath day Of March. 1879,
next, and, on or before the sixth day OF said
term, 81 sSer.o or plead to the petition in card
cause, the same will be taken as confessed,
= Il judgment VIII be- rendered accordingly.
And IL Is furt Der ordered that n copy here
~ be published according to law In the osAoE
VALLEY BANNER,
JOEL B. CLARK. Clerk.
d. NJ. WAR. Atty tor Plf. Q4s
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-04-05
Paris Jokes.

The other evening, at convivial
gathering where all the guests did not
happen to be of the same political opin-
ion, as they sat down to dinner one said
to the company:
Gentlemen, l should, before we be-
gin dinner, make little explanation of
one of my peculiarities. 1t sometimes
happens that when l have little wine
ON board | take it into my head to jibe
people who are not of my way of think
ing in politics. l assure you that l
mean nothing serious by such an action,
and that if l should appear to be rude
you will make little allowance and not
lay it to my account"
As he seated himself another guest,
a man seven feet high and with hand
like jambon de Cincinnati, arose and
said as courteously:
Gentlemen, l, too, should make a
little explanation of one of my pecu-
liarities. 1t sometimes happens that
when have a little wine on board and
some one begins to jibe me for my way
of thinking in politics, take it into my
head to wiring his darn neck or pitch
him out of second-story window.
assure you that mean nothing serious
by such an action, and that if should
appear to be rude you will make little
allowance and not lay it to my account"
Not word of politics was spoken at
the table that evening, and all went
merry as a carriage bell.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-04-05
Judge Black and the Doctor.

Judge Black, of Pennsylvania, tells
comical story of trial in which Ger
man doctor appeared for the defense in
case of damages against client OF
his by the object of his assault. The
eminent jurist soon recognized in his
witness, who was produced as a medical
expert, laboring man, who, some years
before, and in another part of the coun-
try, had been engaged by him as a
builder of post-and-rail fences. With
this cue, he opened his cross-examina-
ton: "You say, DOCTOR he began, with
great Difference and suavity, that Jou
operated upon Mr.. IS head after it
was cut by Mr.. -"
"Ob, yaw," replied the ex-fence-
builder. "me do dat; yaw, yaw!"
"Was the wound very severe one,
doctor?"
Enough to kill him if not save his
life" tHt t
"Well, doctor, what did you do for
nim?"
"Everythingl"
@Did you perform the Cesarian OPP
eration?" tI.
"Ohl yaw, yaw; if me not do dat he
die"
did you decapitate him?"
"Yaw, yaw; me do dat, too" -.
"Did you hold post-mortem exam
ination?"
"Ohl to be sure, Schudge; me always
do dat" .E.t
"Well, now, DOCTOR" and here the
Judge bent over in a friendly, familiar
way, tell us whether you submitted
your patient to the process known
among medical men as post-and. rail
ferciorum?"
The mock doctor drew himself up in
dignantly. "Scherry Plack," says he,
Il always know'd you was a tam jay
hawk lawyer, an now / know you for a
tam mean man." Louisville Courier
journal.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-04-05
Little Johnny on Pigs.

One time there was a ole man had a
pig, an the pig it had curly tail, but
ole CATER Petterses has got brush onto
it, and the ole mans CURL has curly hair,
too, cos she puts itup in papers. So one
day the ole man cot the pig and put its
tail up N curl paper, too, Just like
hern, and then he sed:
"Katy," cos that was her name
{" com long an see yure ole father feed
the pig"
And Katy she went, and when the pig
cum up an put its feets in the trof for
to eat, Katy she luked long vile, and
then she said:
"Wy, Poppy"
But poppy he didn't take notice, jest
KEEP a kanockn on the bottom of the
bucket for to git oil the swil out. After
other vile Katy she spoke up again an
said:
"Poppy, wot for do you curl it9"
Then the ole man he said, the ole man
did:
"Curl be blodel you better asst that
riddle elsewhere; it is twisted the other
way! l love this pig like it was my
own dotter, but lie straiten that tail fore
KILN time If got to brake it. don't
like curls, and all tho you an yure sister
carries menny guns for me, lie be dunn
busted if lie give in to the hull family"
But my sister she has got tongs for to
curl hern, an one time Frankly, that's
the baby, nipped his nose in 'em and
hollered wild, like he was tom cats.
Pigs woller in the mud, and babies they
woller on the fore.
One time man witch wasent smart
like me, more like Billy, he see a pig
wallerin in puddle of mud, and he said !:
"Poor Teller, where does it pain your
The pig it luked at the man and then
it rolled on its other side like sayn:
"Pretty much all over"
Then the man he shuke his he'd and
said other time:
"That'sa mighty bad place for be sick
abed in." [f.[
But the pig grunted, much as to say !:
"That's fack, but when Teller is
took sudden he must put up with sech
comodations as he can git an not be q
hog about it."
One day Billy, he's my brother, he and
Sammy Doppy was playn by mudhole,
and Billy, he said:
CHOW, Sammy, les play we was barn
yard; you be the pig and lie down and
woller, and lie be bull and heller like
everything"
So they got down on their hans and
knees, and Sammy he went in the mud
and wollered, vile Billy bellered like dis
SAINT thunder. ,Bimby Sammy he cum
out muddy, you never seen sech muddy
little Teller and he said:
CHOW you be the pig an let me
beller."
But Billy he said:
81 amt a very good pig fore dinner,
and title be time huff for you to heller
wen yure mother sees yure close. "-Sa',
Francisco Argonaut.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-04-05
Easslar's Eccentricities.

Hasslar was hampered and embarrassed
continually by limited appropriations.
His operations were of that character
easily seen; Congress wondered continu-
ally what he was about. While he was
systematizing methods and training as
sistants, congress was Struggling its
shoulders and clamoring because results
were inadequate to all the expenditure.
Hasslar was an eccentric man of irascible
disposition and great independence Of
character. On one occasion committee
from congress waited upon him in his
Office to inspect his work.
"You come to 'spect my work, ehp
Vat you know bout my vork3 Vat you
going to 'spectl"
The gentlemen, conscious of their
ignorance, tried to smooth his ruflled
temper by an explanation, whieh only
made matters worse.
"You knows noting at all bout my
work. How can You 'spect my work, ven
you knows nottingt Get out of here;
you in my way. Congress be Won big
WOOL to send you to 'spect my work.
Pave no time to waste With such as knows
noting vat am bout. Go back to con.
gress and tell dem vat say"
The committee did go "back to con-
gress" and report, amid uproarious
laughter, the result of their inspecting
interview.
When Hon. Levi Woodbury. was
secretary of the treasury, under jackson,
he and Hasslar could not agree as to the
compensation to be allowed to the
superintendent, and Hasslar was re-
ferred to the president, at whose dis
cretion the law placed the settlement Of
the dispute.
$50, Mr.. Hasslar, it appears the
secretery and you cannot agree about
this matter" remarked Jackson, when
Hasslar stated his case in his usual EN-,
phatic style.
"No, sir, We can't"
"Well, how much do you really think
you ought to have2
'Six tousand dollars, SIR"
"Why, Mr.. Hasslar, that is as much
as Mr.. Woodbury., my secretery OF the
treasury, himself receives"
"Mr. Woodbury." screamed Hasslar,
rising from his chair and vibrating his
long forefnger toward his own heart.
Plenty Mr.. Voodburys, plenty
Mr.. Everybodys, for secretery of de
treasury; v-o-n-e, v-o-n-e Mr.. Hasslar for
de head of the coast surveyp and erect
ing himself in naughty attitude, he
looked down upon Jackson in supreme
scorn at his daring comparison,
President jackson, sympathizing with
q character having some traits in COM
mon with his own, granted Hasslar's de-
mand, and at the close of the next cabi-
net meeting told the joke, to the great
entertainment of the gentlemen present.
Martha j. Lamb, in Harper's Magazine.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-04-05
A Drunken GOhhler.

A Glenburn farmer, says Bangor,
Me-, paper, came into the city recently,
and among other things purchased some
rice and pint of whisky. Fearing
that the bottle might get broken on the
way home, he placed it in the box con.
tanning the rice. When he reached
home sand took the box from the pung
he found that the stopple had got out of
the bottle, and the rice and whisky were
thoroughly mixed. He dumped the rice
behind the barn, and in a short time
auge turkey came along and, as he was
not as particular as the farmer, gobbled
up the medicated rice. Shortly after
this the farmer was greatly surprised to
find the turkey lying out behind the
barn "dead as a door-nail," and vowing
vengeance, on the man who sold him
whisky rank enough to kill turkey, he
carried the bird into the house. The
farmer was soon afterward seen carry
ing the naked bird-as every feather was
gone with the exception of wings and
tail-out behind the stable where he
left it on the snow. The next morning
when he entered the stable, it being
hardly light, he detected what he thought
was the ghost of the incorporate turkey,
and could almost feel bis hair rise; but
he made up his mind to investigate the
matter and boldly advanced. Imagine
his surprise, on getting nearer, to dis
cover the bird shivering on the roost
and looking at him with reproachful
eyes for having stolen his clothes while
hopelessly drunk. At last accounts the
turkey was doing as well as could be ex-
pected during zero weather. IN 49,
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-04-05
Reardinr the Lion in His Den.

An Englshman writes to the London
Standard mournful letter upon the
invasion of the British markets by
American manufacturers. He found in
his travels that American calicoes and
cotton had superseded the same style
Of English goods on the Continent.
Coming home he found his ironmonger
selling American spades, saws, chisels,
hammers and axes, and other dealers
with stocks of American locks, bolts,
stoves and lamps. American leather is
sent to England to be made up into
shoes. English carriages are built out
of materials which, have crossed the
Atlantic. States are now quarried in the
United States to roof English homes.
MY grocer, my butterman, and prob
ably my butcher" says this writer" deal
largely in American goods OF all kinds; "
even the cigarettes which he smokes
are made in Richmond, Va, and the
pen with which he writes comes not
from Birmingham, but from an Amer
lean mandatory.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-04-05
when a woman VIII she VIII.

The Rome On. ~ Sentinel has a Curl
GUS story about married couple in
Springfield. 1t says: "When Massa-
chusetts woman forms habit it is all a
waste of time for her husband to try to
break her of it. Well knowing his wife's
disposition to make him a present at the
anniversary of his birthday, citizen of
the Bay State, who likewise forcibly
realized the fact that economy was an abb
solute necessity in his household, said to
his wife: This year you must not
undertake to make me present, III
sist. 1t would be absurd at this time,
when we need everything we can rake
and scrape. / give you fair notice that
if you do carry out your former custom
this year, will burn up the present as
surely as you make it, So the wife
bethought herself. She could not bear
the idea of being deprived of her an
nual pleasure. Therefore she gathered
together her dimes and bought for her
dearly beloved husband, as a birthday
present, ton of COAL"
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-04-05
Cats to be Used as Substitute for
Carrier Pigeons.

1t seems that the Belgians have formed
a society for the mental and moral inn
provement of cats. Their first effort has
been to train the cat to do the work of
carrier pigeon. The most astute and
accomplished scientific person would
have his ideas of locality totally con-
fused by being tied up in meal.bag
and carried twenty miles from home and
let out in 3 strange neighborhood in the
middle of the night The experiment
has, however, been tried upon cats of
only average abilities, and the invaris-
BILE result has been that the departed
animal has reappeared at his native
kitchen door the next morning, and
calmly ignored the whole affair. This
wonderful skill in travelling through I'M
familiar regions without a guide. book or
compass has suggested the possibility of
cats being ueed as special messengers.
Recently, thirty-seven cats residing in
the city of Liege were taken in bags
long distance into the country. The
animals were liberated at two o'clock in
the afternoon. AT GAS the same after
noon one of them reached his home.
His feline companions arrived at Liege
somewhat later; but it is understood
that within twenty-four hours every one
had reached his home. 1t is proposed to
establish, at an early day, a regular sys-
tenn of cat communication between
Liege and the neiboring villages.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-04-05

Ne less than one hundred and sixty
eight separate packs of fox hounds are
maintained in Great Britain and Ire
land-one hundred and forty-one in
England and Wales, eight in Scotland
and nineteen in Ireland-numbering
between them six thousand couples of
hounds. The largest pack is the Duke
of Beauford's with their headquarters
at Badminton, in Ware, where seventy
eight couples are maintained every sea-
son, hunting FIVE days week.
Drums are used in China to rive the
hour at night, to announce persons de-
string audience, at some palaces, and
for many other purposes as well as for
music. The Chinese also sometimes
muffie their drums Tin all religious cere-
monies which takes placein the presence
of the Emperor) efieetiDg this not in our
manner, but by covering the instrument
with ornamented drsperies of cloth,
which absorb part of the sound.
A very simple explanation of the ex-
preston "walk your chalk" may be
given. IT originated in England, where
sometimes certain ale house frequenters,
when they have been drinking long
enough to make boast of being sober,
and to dispute the point with each
other, will chalk line straight on the
ground, and then endeavor, one after
the other, to walk upon it without
swerving to the right or left. Those who
succeed are adjudged to be sober that
is, to have walked their chalks,"
and are thus in a condition to leave the
place.
James Sforza, the father of Francis,
the first Duke was the founder OF the
house of Sforza, which gave six dukes
to Milan and was allied with almost
every sovereign in Europe during the
fifteenth and sixteenth centuries. He was
born in 1869. His father, according to
tradition, was day laborer, and to
others shoemaker, but probably
wrought as both. Perceiving some
soldiers pass he was struck with the de-
sire of bearing arms. IL will CO. said
he to himself, "and dart my Ratchet
against that tree, and if it stick fast in
the wood / will Immediately become n
soldier" The Ratchet stuck fast, and
because he threw the ak with all his
force, he assumed the supposed fortunate
name of Sforza, or Powerful.