The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1879-04-19
THIS AND THAT.

Ono ofthe employees of night train
on the L. V. r. r. is contemplating taking
out patent on the day break.
Now that the thunderstorm season is
approaching, it is reasonable to expect that
the average reckless small boy will be more
punctuol at prayer meeting.
When Mrs. Oliver called on Simon
Cameron, and he told her to go to the
devil" she done the next best thing-she
went to cher lawyer"
An Ohio cow last week broke a mans
neck by kick. A mule that witnessed the
casualty went behind barn and wept.
England is the home of John Bull, and
Scotland the home of John Knox, but they
are both envious because America spreads
beef-o'er them both.
1t is said if you ask Partisan for a
small loan, he is pretty sure to be franc with
you. He may sou you, however.
"A book agent was knocked down by a
street car, in Philadelphia recently, and two
wheels passed over his cheek. The car was
sent TO the repair shop.
They sing "Baby Mine," and "My
Grandlather's Clock" in Leadville, Col. If
this does not stop the rush to that quarter
then, the case is hopeless.
Better is dinner of verbs where love
is, than whole banquet OF nouns, pro-
nouns, adjectives, adyerbs, propositions and
conjunctive conjunctions with hatred there
in.
- Carrie (whispering) - "Whot lovely
boots your beau has, Mary" Mary with
a vague smile) Eyes, unfortunately he
shines at the wrong end"
Sitting Bull, says a western exchange, is
beginning to rise. And when he gets fully
up, there will be foot-race between him
and some American soldiery, with the SOL
diery six laps ahead, and gaining steadily.
Oysters, says French naturalist, have
the power of reasoning Perhaps that ac-
counts for their great wisdom in nearly al
ways keeping their mouths shut.
"A man out west has gone insane be-
cause he cannot find out just how old Moses
was when he died. He had forgotten the
ages of his two wives, but that didn't trou-
BILE him Bit
The dreadful fact that there are minute
bugs in brown sugar and wriggling eels in
vinegar calls for action. Humanity, aswell
as the bugs and eels, calls loudly for
protection.
"A visitor observed to Messonier that he
seemed to have none of his own pictures.
"Too dear, my dear madam" said the great
artist 81 can't afford them
"A sparkling young debater, in a fight
of eloquence, exclaimed "Mr. President,
the world is divided into two great classes,
the learned and the unlearned, one of whom
am which,"
An exchange says, a young lady in
Hartford, Conn, has boen badly poisoned
by the analine dye in new blue veil that
she wore. If she was a homely girl she has
our sympathy, but if she was handsome and
kept good company, and still persisted in
wearing a oolored viel, it served her right.
Judge-"And you seek to extenuate your
case, when you maltreated your lawfully
welded wife by throwing a plate at her
head ?" Prisoner-"But, your Honor, do
you know my wife? Jddge-"I have not
that honor" Prisoner-"Then yen just 60
Sow"
A lady admirer of the Maine statesman
name young canary bird Jim Blaine. 1t
did not sing much, but she loved with great
prida and tenderness, until last Saturday,
when she was astonished TO find that Jim
had laid an egg Now she declares that no
dependence can be placed on a politician.
"A Pennsylvania COW disposes of nine
teen buckets of water at single drinking
and she does not live near river either
~ y. Com. AdU. She probably drinks one,
and kicks over the ls.-Pha. Buiietin. We
speak for this part of the State. Our cows
never "kick the bucket" except in extreme
cases. We prefer 10 stand on the original
statement, and believe that the buckets
were little ones,