The Red Cloud chief., 1879-03-27

INK man Who - waiting fu- sorne-
thing to turn up generally azas Il uAsa
be steps on = b~Arrei-hoop.
II Is vulgar 20 call = MAJ ''bo~ ley-
gcd-" jus; speak Of him n 4 parea-
thetlcal pedestrian.
iouSG swell II shoald ike IN have
nv mustAche dyed" Polite barber
Certainly; did you bring it ~ith yoa9"
Tx Individual who called tight boots
comfortable defended hi. position by
saying they inside = man forget 81 his
other miseries.
WI never knew bu; one man Who had
absolute faith in humanity, and ne adj
vertlsed for = lost umbrella In this pa
per last week.-CEaais Post.
4 sABr insgines TIA, be can sleep al
day and CRY al night, and sill he the
darling Of the household Ga this
rock We sPli-S. H. Eegpaer.
THERE are two WAYS u settle = diff.
Guilty IN this country. Oae il ~ fgh, =
duel and the other 10 se; Up the drinks.
The latter Is now regarded ~ the mos,
iIasata Consultations.
SoNE clothing Was stolen recently
from the Office Of the New London Td
egram. The editor mus; hare been - <
Iag = bath ~ that time.-DrgIcisoartHe
Sentinel.
HJALNER HJoRrH BoYEsES has been
rather discouraged since The arrival 81
Wilhelmj in this country, but he thinks
Hjalmerj lijOrhi BOye-enj will rather
lay over the fiddler CAtalyo Tri5wH<.
IT j. because he has heard that clos
attention 10 little things makes the sue
ces,ful business man. that The young dry
goods clerk takes care o. his mustache.
-EsLC IOrk MAJ.
An old gentleman has been brough,
10 our in Piltsburg for kissing n girl
against her will. His defense was that
she sci her face against him. and be
couldn't help it.-Phi,gieipttr B4llotiB.
A WISCONSIN dentist adyertI~es bis
new plugging machine thus "lt's OPP
era,ions are swift, easy and beautiful,
pleasant 10 the patient, ike the hum
ming bird ~ IL moves from flower 90
flower 10 get the sweet nectar
SOME men are endowed with the cling
ing nature Of cobgebs, and like them
are continually hanging around the
house until cleared out by the end Of n
well balanced broom. with An indu,tri-
Gus female ~ the other ead.-HIckSn-
srcE Rep.
TOUCHING obituary in the Buffalo
EIpress. Doctor Mcbride. who called
himself the King Of Pain, recently died
in Chicago. lie was 4 person 81 long
hair. great pretension, and a lack of
medical knowledge that was apparently
bottOmless.
"WHY are you looking At me - in
Alice?" said Theodore. {" vas
at vacancy" replied Alice,
.dreanily; and vet there was a twinkle
about her mouth that showed her APP
praisement Of the young Boston
Transcript.
WHEN q ni~ce-looking young lady
To the iciness of the pavement and
falls down, ever young fellow in
sight will rush TO her assistance. lift her
up, inquire tenderly il she is injured,
and be rewarded by = grateful smile;
but when an old and homely woman
with the same mishap, she will
To her feet by the aid Of the
nearest hitching-post, and all the male
lookers-on will remark, "The old gal
sot down, didn't she? hal ba!" and
is no smile on the part of the scci-
HlrcH Register.
ABOUT z ADAM.
tbou Ben Aihen may hi- tribe i~ncrea-sl
4 woke ono uiy..F tfHFu a dream a niece
~ pie he'd ate the night before
Destroyed his -luTnoeT- ant broke ht- znofc,
And by the Iixnt az a fa-. dwin1ling taper
H. saw a fellow writing on "A piece 81 paper.
.Adhem having cur-ed the piece Of pie.
81 the chap "a writing winkei his eye.
and said, My friend, you Ling a nasty Gufll,
Whilst tell me what you write" said ne. Il
Will.
write the name of those who love their
n~eignbor-."
: And T. mine there?' cit H." said he. "be
iaber--
These are the names Of those alone
h to their fellows always give n loan.
those distressed they gave AMI take a
bond.
and ten per cent. l. the interest charged
thereon"
lie vanished. left behind a bankrupt Hat,
To- Ben Adhem'- name led ai the T"-t