The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-09-18
FACETIA,

No Irishman has sinking Of the heat
SO long as there's bit Of Cork in him.
The front door step of fame is within
every body'a reach, but young men a,e
content to sit on q shady beach all day,
industriously giving young ladies 'taffy
A recent picnic was turned into q ho;-
low mockery by every fellow remember
ing to bring a corkscrew and depending
on somebody else to furnish the bottle.
Philadelphia Bulletin: The only trip
Q ,me people have taken this summer
was on banana skin. We are not all
rich.
Philadelphia Chronicle: Better lay in
your coal now. Professor Schaffer Of
Pottsville, in q lecture before the Society
for the advancement of science, says
tae anthracite coal fields will be exhaus-
ted In the year 2O65.
oANorristown Herald: "How to tell
bad eggs" is the title of an article in
an exchange. When you have any
thing to tell q bad egg. you must be
careful not to break the shell while inn
parting the information.
From the Marietta Register: Mrs.
Brush's dog Speed has been visiting at
Miss Canes ON Warrington street.
This may be . pretty small item, but If
We are going into the personal business
We may As well be thorough.
Prisoner, you have committed q
frightful murder; at seventeen you have
committed an atrocious crime which
ranks you with Chastire Cox and the
Italian BARRIERS. The prisoner (mod-
estly) Sorry ye father me!
The old goat tried to butt circular
saw, and the subsequent proceedings
were but trife to what the bucksaw. =
That was an observing fellow, il he
was but six years old, who said: Papa,
I wish that you'd quarantine against
Tom Jones coming here every night TO
see Jennie. It's got to be too epidemic.
A young man in Holyoke who got i'm
prisoned in large refrigerator for three
hours, eaid, when he was released, that
he felt as though he had just been en-
tertained ut fashionable church socia-
BILE.
Lord Cock burn was seated one day on
the hillside Of Bonnally with q Scotch
shepherd. and noticing the sheep repo-
sing in the coolest situation, he observed
to him, John, IL were q sheep. /
would lie on the other side Of the hill. !"
The shepherd answered. Gay, my
Lord, but if ye had been q sheep, ye
wad have had msir sence."
At party on Nelson street the other
evening the conversation appeared to be
DYING out, when bilious man observed
to young lady on his right: Il don't
think they make pills as large as they
used" After that the conversation
went on again
The boy who substitutes living for a
dead hornet in the collection of a near
sighted entomologist, and then asks the
man of science to show him where the
insects sting is located, should be held
responsible for any irreligious senti-
ments the victim may advance.
The boy stood on the back yard fence,
whence all but he had fed; tho flames
that Lit his fathers barn showed Just
above the shed. One bunch Of crack
ers in his hand, two others in his hat,
with piteous accents loud he cried, 81
never thought of that" A bunch Of
crackers to the tail of one small dog he
tied; the dog in anguish sought the
barn, and, mid the ruins died. The
lit upon the brat; they fred the crackers
in his hand and exc those in his hat.
Then came burst Of rafting sound-
the boyi Where was he gone? Ask Of
the winds that far around strewed bits
Of meat and bone, and scraps Of clothes,
and balls and tops, and nails and hooks
and yarn-the relics Of that dreadful
boy that burned his fathers barn.