The Portland daily press., 1879-05-01

so' 10 please my young relation
Ahl you horrid thing, there, now!
Ireterred to occula,ion.
Yale Record,
New York Express: The rolickipg MOSQUITO
is mapping out his summer campaign.
Cincinnati Saturday Night: 1t is when a
school girl first puts an to the word Low that
the spell begins to work.
New York Herald: An exchange says that
Napoleon " is always poring over books. He
never reigns, but he pores.
Boston Transcript: Some people are so con-
stituted as to be unable to see anything beauti-
1ul IN this life-not even in mirror.
Philadelphia Chronicle: A Western paper
reports the discovery of rich vein of lead in
Kentucky. In the body of one Of Kentucky's
judges, probably.
Harvard Advocate; Smart sophomore
"What fruit would you resemble riding on
jackass" Innocent looking freshman-"Gve
itup." S. S.-"A beautiful pear" IL. F.
IAN right; Come outside and try it,
Toledo Commercial: Miss Penney was
saved from drowning by Jonathan Smith.
In equity she belongs to Smith from this time
hereafter, because Penney saved is Penney
earned
Specimen of Paris conversation-"What do
you say about yesterdays play?" "And you?''
"After you: go on" "Well, we are of the
same opinion" "Ab, how severe you are up
on our poof friend"
Harvard Crimson: Scene in a Cambridps
ballroom. Snodkins to a very youDg lady.
''Are you engaged for the German?" Very
Young lady, "Alas! Mr.. Snodkins, L am"
H1odkins, SO sorry, you were my last hope"
(Fact)
Boston Post: 'I don't think much of news
paper men, and never take any stock in what
the papers say" he said. And then everybody
knew that he had done something he was
ashamed OF, and the papers had published an
account of it.
French Servants ts-Baptiste, a footman, makes
a present to Mile. Jenny, femme de chambre, of
rather handsome gold medallion. Mile. Jenny
(reproachfully) )-''Still more expenses, my
friend" "NO, my child; q trife which 1
found in Madame's room." "How lucky"
DanDnry News: Somebody's child is dying
dying with the flash of hope on his young
face and an findeseribable yearning to live
and take an honest place in the world beside
the companions of his youth n
For sale by all druggists.
Cincinnati Euquirer: Isaac V. Green was
locked up in the station house last night ON
a charge of drunkenness. When the reporters
called at the station in their nightly rounds,
Mr.. Greene was reclining on the floor of his
cell, gaily singing Dickens lines: cob, q rare
old plant is the l. V. Green" sc.
Paris Figaro Monsieur Prudbomme, with
gravity to his son: "My son, allow me to say
to you that think you ara quite Indifferent,
oh, very Indifferent toward your fancee. 4"
tWhat do you waut me to do? She says moth
ing to me and l find her too small" Monsieur
Prudh0mme, sententiously, "YOu might at
least love her in proportion to her sizs."
New Haven Register: 1t isn's the frail del
icate girl with the soft gazellelike eye that the
sf3stus of spring poetry rests upon. Not at
all. The genius of rhyme and rhythm is more
often found in the robust and somewhat wrin-
kled maiden of forty summers, with q good
appetite and superb digestion. Young man,
beware of the rhyming female. She is the
most expensive kind to feed.