The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1879-05-15
All Sorts of Paragraphs.

= The world is full of men who have
sufficient talent to get married, without
possessing genius enough to support
"A Sunday School boy, on being
asked what made the tower Of Pisa lean
replied, because Of the famine in the
land"
"When shall we eat ~ asks n me5;.
cal journal. Same as you drink. doctor
same as you drink-eyery time anybody
asks you.
An Oxford (Alabama) man is so
close listed that he will not advertise ii,
the papers, but ties his card to pigs tail
and turns the grunter loose.
= 1t takes pretty smart woman to do
the spanking, when triplets strike up an
anvil chorus about midnight, and don't
you forget it.-Opego Record
What grain ranks highest in your
marketT Minnesota man asked an
lowan. "Corn," replied the Hawkeyc,
nothing ranks ahove kernel"
= If you were to offer $4,000 for a
sewing machine thnt didn't take the first
premium" at the Paris exposition, we
don't suppose you could get one.
'Tis old but true: Crying to do
business without advertising is like wink
know what you are doing, but nobody
else does"
r. Jeannette-"Ma, are you going to
give me another piece of pie? Ma
what do you want to know for ?" Jean
nette-"B Because if you ain't want to
eat this piece slowly"
= An editor with hive unmarried
daughters was recently mado Justly indig-
nant by the misconstruction his contem-
poiaries put upon his able leader on
"The demand for men,"
~ know am perfect bear in my
manners," said q young farmer to his
sweetheart. mo indeed, you arc not,
John; you have never hugged me vet:
you are more sheep than bear"
= Little boy" said woman to a boy
who had been impudent to her, the other
day, "have you mother?" dNo; but
pap wouldn't marry you if there wasn't
q house-keeper in the whole logged
land"
:. He was about to kiss her when sud-
denly he drew back in evident alarm.
'Oh, George, what is it?" said she anx-
iously. "Onions," was all the reply he
made as he glided on in the moonlight
Providence Press.
- Tender hearted mothers should
give their little childen kittens to play
with. 1t pleases the child, and then
1t 10 20 nice to see young kitten
choked until its eyes bulge out IKE mimic
halls.-SyiH,cater MIMI Gazette.
= Nothing is so painful Mt this season
of the year, as the disheartning spectacle
of nine-year-old hen, looking through
the fence at O man digging a garden,
while she exercises her rugged legs and
incisive claws on the walk, Just keepinr
lii practice until the garden is ready.
= A fashionable visitor thus addressed
a little girl: GLOW do you do, my little
dear?" every we'll, thank YOU" she
replied. The visitor then added, "Now,
my dear, you must ask me how do"
The child honestly replied, II don't want
to know"
- "Do hogs pay ?" asks an ogricultu-
raj correspondent. We know OF come
that don't. They subscribe for a paper,
read it few weeks for nothing, and thea
send it back to the publisher inscribed
refused" Such hogs as thot psy no.
body if they can help it..
- A family &c Ike unto an equipage.
First, the father, the draught horse, next,
the boys, the wheels, for they are always
running around; then the girls, they are
surrounded by fellows; the baby occu-
| pres tne lap-DOard; and the mother
well, what's q wagon without tongue,
anyhow
- Did you ever notice the poor chap
that stands in the first picture of the af-
manac, with the fish and sheep and scor-
i pions and bulls and twins, ETC., around
him? Did you ever notice that he was
naked and had nothing in MS stomach
Well, that poor fellow used to edit
paper, and take his pay in 'Ill pay my
subscription next week."
| --"For what am T." he said, in con-
versational way to his Sunday school
class of little boys-"What am but a
something filed with little air? With
out it could not be--would collapse
in short, Pm only" ga bladder v''
was what the good little boy said. The
class adjourned sine die.
- "No man shall ever kiss me except
my future husband" she said, as he was
about leaving her at the gate. "suppose I
agree to be your future" "Why, then
I'll kiss YOU" she replied, eagerly, and
she did. Her mother was informed that
he had proposed, and the old lady called
around next day to fasten matters, and
before he knew it he was eternally hook
ed. 1t was mean advantage, but bird
ii The hand is worth two on front gate.
-Binghdmpton Republican.
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