Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1879-11-12
PERILS OF FALSE TEETH

Fame and fortune await the man
who has genius to write the history of
false teeth and illustrate the danger
which invariably attends them. Were
some one to rise who should apply to
this subject the patient toll which the
elder Disraeli did to the oddities and
eccentricities of literary life and study,
he would confer an imperishable favor
upon civilization. His work would
be not only a source of amusement for
the reading world, but perpetual
warning of the perils which beset all
who must depend upon the dentist in
stead of upon nature for the means
wherewith to grind their daily bread,
In proof of which the following is
case in point: In Wayland, New
York, there lives dentist, Preston by
name. Likewise lives their man to
the world unknown, save that he was
the promised husband of a lady whom
we shall call Miss Smith, resident of
EImira. From the dentist mentioned
she had purchased set of false teeth
ON credit. The credit lasted longer
than his patience, and when she Wis.,
tied Wayland, presumably to see her
lover, the dentist called upon her and
inquired how the teeth served her.
She mentioned defect, and took them
out that he might investigate it.
Sticking them in his pocket he made
answer to her: "You can have them
when you pay me for them," and
walked away
Troubles never come singly. For
while she sat in solitude gnashing her
gums at the heartless dentist, her lover
raped at the door. She made sign
that she could not see him then. He
was astonished, and firmly demanded
an explanation. But Miss Smith
could not give him one-certainly not
one which he could understand The
dentist carried off not only her teeth,
but her power to articulate. But an
explanation he was bound to have.
He received it from the lady friends of
Miss Smith, who put the case in its
very best light They knew not when
they might be forced to beg like
kindness for themselves. Women's
teeth, like their temper, are uncertain
things. The case was not pleasant
one in any light, and he took occasion
to tell Miss Smith so in letter next
day In fact he plumply declared that
he would not marry a woman who,
through all the tender confidence of
their wooing, had concealed from him
the fact that her sweet words were
spoken by the aid of store teeth. A
woman who would deceive him in one
thing might in another. How could
he know but that the silken tresses
which had flowed over his shoulder
from the hand of nature, but from that
of the wig maker? He was in dis
tressing doubt as to how much real
and how much artificial woman he
had been courting. He resolved to
settle the doubt by Withdrawing his
engagement.
The matter has ended in the court
of love and now goes up (or perhaps it
should be DOWN to the Court of law.
Miss Smith will enter suit against the
dentist to recover $4,000 damage as
the result of losing husband through
the dentists act of running away with
her teeth and leaving her unable to
make an explanation at the most crlti-
cal point of her life. She will also
bring suit against her love for breach
of promise. His defence, of course,
will be that lie was deceived, and it is
against maxim of law that either
woman or man shall benefit by his or
her own wrong. He had contracted
in good faith for woman made by
nature and an attempt was made, he
believes, to palm off on him one partly
the handiwork of dentist and wig
maker.-Piasburgh Telegraph.