Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1879-04-23

h' luAu Nlhh htN Nhe shoN lAlo ldNt
And answered as il did so, "oh, no, there's nary
aplace."
To be paragrapher man needs
quick wit. If he hasn't got it he
had better quick quit.-Whitehall
Times.
A delicate way of compliment
ing the old lady. "Ah, madam,
you grow every day to look more
like your daughter"
The man who believes he can
move the world should begin by
Wheeling, Virginia.-Detroit Free
Press.
Yes, or Rollin, Michigan.
An exchange says that ladies will
to wear Interrogation
marks on their foreheads this spring.
That is what we call questionable
toilet.-Free Press.
If you would he clear and forci-
BILE, don't use foreign words. Be
A man never stops to
hunt up a foreign word when he is
stung by hornet.
"Are you lost, my little fellow y
asked Il gentleman of q four-year-
old boy one day, who was crying
for his mother. "No, sir, sobbed
the boy, "but my mother is"
School mistress Gust beginning
a nice improving lesson upon min
erals TO the juniors )-"Now, what
are the principals things we get out
of the earth 2" Youthful angler,
aged four confidently "
Life is too short for it to be con-
stantly filed with sadness. Let
people laugh when they can. A
man should not go about with a
face long enough to make the world
believe he had money deposited in
a savings bank.
A gentleman from Leadville, Col
orado, is in the city exhibiting
specimens of gold and silver ore
from the mines out there. He did
not bring a specimen of Leadville
bread. 1t was too scarce and cost
ly.-MilwaulSee Sun.
1t was a hard answer and yet de.
served. Some one announced the
death of a venomous gossip and
boldly asserted that she died Of
poison. When asked what he
meant he replied that by some &C.
cident she had bitten her tongue.
.
"Gentlemen of the jury" said
an Irish barrister, sit will be for
you to say whether this defendant
shall be allowed to come into court
with unblushing footsteps, with the
cloak of hypocrisy in his mouth
and draw three bullocl1s out o
my clients pocket with impunity.'
A western paper gives this bit
Of baolSwoods gossip between the
parent and child: "Is the bowling
of a dog always followed by Q
death ?" asked little girl of hei
father. "Not always, my dear
sometimes the man that shoots al
the dog misses him. was the pa
rents reply.
A baby is one of the sweetest
cutest things in the world, and we
wouldn't think of doing without
them for an instant; but, then,
really, a baby is ever so much bet
ter off at home in its little bed than
it is at a concert, and we can find
three hundred people who think as
we do.-Steubenville Herald.
An English magazine epicure in
sists that American oysters are
much inferior to the little coppery
English variety. The New York
Herald compares this man to a
darley who went cat-fishing, and,
happening to catch a fine trout,
threw il back into the water, say
ing: "When come cat-fishing /
want catfish"
In a wild part of Scotland deal
CT in fish used to drive his cart a
considerable way inland. On one
occasion, when passing a wild moor
where, although there did reside a
schoolmaster, the knowledge of the
inhabitants of affairs in general
was not very extensive, he dropped
a lobster. Some children picked
it up, and wondering what the