The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1879-05-30
Small Talk.
"A strapping Fellow = The villag,
schoolmaster.


"A stfapping fellow = The village
schoolmaster.
A man owes his success in life to the
woman who walks beside him.
Love levels all ranks, but YOU can't
love an onion well enough To level lis
rank.
Lips is II noun, and yet they often
make a conjunction. - Waterloo OBJ
server.
You may maintain your equilibrium
when bank breaks, but you will GER
tainly lose your balance.
The police of New York are being
vaccinaied. But what's the use of il /;
they never catch anything.
A domestic named Angelica Jordon
has passed over her last name aud be-
come portion of her first name. She
attempted to kindle fire with coal oil.
A pupil in one OF the public schools
recently revised an old saying found in
his grammer, as follows: "lt is better
to give than to receive--a thrashing.',
Stanley has set out for Africa again,
1t is reported that he Senegal there
that charmed him, and his Zambesion
now is to go back and get a Nile paiul'
ing of her.
The class in German grammar is on
the subject of genders. "Miss Flora,
why is the moon masculine in Ger
maD?" SO that she can go out alone al
nights. l suppose"
A man may grow up to be like q
sturdy oak; but he commences life as 0
creeper, says an exchange. Well, he
may grow TO be great whale, but he
begins life rs sucker.
"Oh," said the afflicted wife, weep
ing over his body, che said he would
take off his fiannels anyway, and, poor
man, he little thought how soon he
would go to chat land where flannel:
are never needed"
A.. Magistrate-"You seem to have beer
drinking and to have left your wits al
the bottom of your tumbler." Pris
oner (blandly) -" Impossible youl
honor, | never leave anything at the
bottom of my tumbler.
A good traveller fell asleeJ
in train, and was carried far beyond
his destination. "Pretty good joke this
is, isn't itY' said he to a fellow passen
ger. eyes; but a little too far-fetch
ed" was the rejoinder.
You can't catch the diphtheria kiss
ing girl eighteen years old.-[Syra
cuse Times. Ofcourse not. Do yor
suppose girl will allow diphtheria tt
kiss her when so many good looking
standing around with watering mouths
I-[Whitehall Times.
"Man and wife are always one, arr
they?" said she. eyes, what of itY
said he, suspiciously, "Why, in tina
CASE" said his wife, / came home
awfully tight last night, and feel ter
ribly ashamed of myself this morning.
He said never word.
Free Kirk Minister Ito his elder)
"John, should like you to intimate
that on Monday next ] propose paying
pastoral visits in the High and Nortl
streets in which also hope to embrace
all the servant girls of the congregation
in that district" His wife (whom he'd
lately married from the South): "You
shall do nothing of the kind, sir. Let
me see you dare to."-(Punch.
The sisters had not been on the mosi
loving terms for some time, when one
day lady visitor praised the good
looks of the offspring of one. GLOW
much he looks like Mrs. Black" said
she, especially when lie laughs
Mrs. Black was expressing her pleas.
ure at the compliment implied, when
the infant terrible blurted ont, "Mam.
ma says | look like q fool when
laugh!" Tableau.