Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1879-07-10
NASBY.
mr.. Nasby Narrates the DOIeful His
b tory OF Captain nIcPelters in Winch
the True AnYVardmess of His Being =
GreembaekeF Is Set FORTH

Toledo Blade.l
CoNFEDRIT X ROADS,
(Which is in the State of Kentucky),f
Joon 26, 1879.
Captain MePelter is on the fence. He
isn't eertin whether it is his dOoty to go
over into Ohio at the ensooin eleckshun,
and repeet for Ewing, or the actooal
Nashnel candidate, Piatt. He is in doubt
because he can't make up his mind which.
wood most further the CRATE coz Nv on
limited money, to which he is devotid
hartand sole. Whatever other principles
the Captin may be shaky on, he is firm ez
4 rock on this, and wheTi the circumstan-
ces NV the case is taken into akkount,
can't blame him.
At the close NV the late onpleasantnis
Captain M'Pelter wuz rooined man.
The feend Linkin he'd emausipatid his
niggers, which left him without laber
and consekently he never raised.no crops.
John Morgan he'd capchered his mules
while the Captin wnz in the Confederate
| army, and tyrant Government refoosed
10 pay him a cent for them. becoz for
sooth, a Confederit commander conffsti-
katid his property, and beeoz he wuz in
the Confederit serYis. He wuz left with
a Thousand akers NV land list out nv fhe
village wich wuZ worth say. Sc a aker.
But that land, wieh Wuz his rooin. be-.
come his SalYashen. The flood NV green
bax wTch poured over the land irrigated
the Cross Rodes. Ez everybody he'd his
pockets full NV greenbax in the North
they cum South to oinTest it, There wffzs
helthy wildnis iil tile air for them ez
he'd land. 1t is troo, there wuzn't anv
actooal call for any more people at the
Cross Rodes than wat wuZ there alreddy.
gTher Wuznft no new factries startid, nor
no new industries deYelopt wieh wood sup
port people, and nobody he'd the dispo-
sishun to start new enterprises, for tler
wuZ so much money TO be made in speI-
ilatin in reel estate.
The Captin wuz surprised one day, at
bein offered SO aker for his land. He
wuz too dumb fonndid to SELL and before
he-recovered he WIZ offered $40. Then
heopeneJh his eyes. He saw a way to
make up1 for his losses. He refoosed TO
sell and imejitly follered the example NV
them eZT he'd b0ught,s and laid it out into
t'NIcPeIter's s First Addishen to Confederit
Cross Rodes. y He borrered money to
grade streets, and to plant shade-trees, to
make theAddishen attractive, and then
he commenst TO sell lots.
They went off like hot cakes. People
wood buy EN-, and pay 5000 apiece, pawn
down SO, and giVin a mortgage on EN-
for the odd $3.50, payable in one, two and
three years, with interest. Then they
wood turn around and sell EN- for 81 ,000
taking S20dOwn with the same terms. and
so on.
1t wlz a gorgus time. Captain Nc
/ OAlCl iiCO " OtA Il SdlC M1CIt HG ulu Oh
credit), TO hold his sekoorities. That
thousand akers NV land netted him neerly
a quarter NV million, and the down pay
ments kept him in comfort. Being rich.
Mrs. McPelter bot herself silk dresses (on
credit), and the Captin set up pair nv
hosses and kerridge, wich he bot (OR
credit), and he rebilt his house (on Grid
it,, maxim it a elegant manshun for an
Opnlent American gentleman.
Not bein satisfied with the wealth he
he'd akkoOmulated, in notes and mort
gagis on his own land, the Captain en-
barkt in wider spekilashens. He went a
mile or two beyond his own land, and
bot all he Good buy at 81 900 a aker, and
laid them out. The cows wuz turned off
that land, and surveyors surveyed, war
ing iniy rubber boots eZ- perteckshun
agin rattlesnakes. And McPelter's Sec
ond and Third Addishun to the Cross
Roads wuz thrOwed into the market.
Ez it wuZ with McPelter so it wuz with
pretty much everybody else. The GuV-
ernment wuZ isshooin greenbax by the
milyun, and people spekilated. In them
days yoo cOodn't buy a rusty male but
wat 700 Good sell it next mornin at a ad-
vance of or hundred per cent. We
wuz happy, for everybody he'd credit,
and things wuZ a bOOmin.
But.ther cum an end to it. Everybody
he'd lots TO sell, but when the Guvern-
ment cum to begin to pay its debts, and
to stop ishooin its milyuns "A day, nobody
wanted EN-. Deekin POgram wantid to
know nv Captain NJ Potter what WIZ the
yoose NV askin $500 for a quarter nv an
| aker nv ground, which wuz only wuth
| So a aker, Onless people cum to live on it,
which they wuzn't doin to any alarmin
! degree. Then Sherman kept on payin
the Nashnel debt, ther wuzn't no yOose
| fur the Captin's ground for dwellin pur-
| poses, and so little by little his spekila-
] went nnHar Them az hnn hoF "a ic
lots on credit didn't pay for EN-, but them
nv whom he had bot kerFidges, hosses and
! silk gOWnds and sich, come down on him,
| and he is to-day a cleaned out man.
Wat Captin McPelter demanded is
stoppage NV all this rooinous policy wich
heZ put his lands back into its original
status ez COW pastors. He holds the Gov
ernment responsible for his failyoor. He
seZ:
''Ef the Government he'd kept on ishoo-
in greenbaX, several millions day, and
not attemptid to pay the Nashnel debt at
all, it would hev been diffrent. The Gov
ernment has rOoined me. l wuz a selliR
COW pastors for city lots, till the feend,
Sherman, contracted. 81 demand, - seZ
Captin AIcPelter, s'that the ishoo NV
greenbax be immeiitly resoomed. A
greenbaX cost the Government nothin,
and eff enough ov EN- are ishood, my land
will agin sell for city lots. Eff enuff nv
EN- are ishood the quarter NV million nv
mortgages witch hold will be paid, and
then''-
sAnd then what ?'' asked Joe Bigler.
FEAnd them" resoOmed the Captin, 81
can realize and retire with a eompe-
-tency."
ssWich means, y sed Josef, that yoo will
onload yoor cow-pasters on the next gen.
erashen uv'idiots, and get out from un
der in time to save yoorself, wich 700
wuzn't smart enough to do the last time.
Isn't that about the size of it,"
! ''I shpod convert my sekoOrities into
| Yoonited States bonds, I suppose"
''And then," sed Josef, 'spose the
parties to wich you sell, shood insist that
| the Government shood keep on ishOOin
greenbax that they might save themselves
! bv onloadin their land on the next batch
! NV fools, what wood yoor Yoonited States
bonds be wuth? 1t kinder strikes me,
/ that eZ long eZ the biZnlS Nv the Cross
roads only demand a popelashen NV three
| hundred and fifty, yOo don't actilly need
| city lots for population NV hundred
thousand, and that eff yOo git the hundred
thousand price in a village NV three hun
dred and fifty, either your buyers are
asses, or the money they pay amt good
for nothin. In the eend somebody hez
got to be bit, and ez the eend hez got to
4 come sometime. [ don { see why this ism {
ez rood a, time ez Good be. Yoo he'd the
benefit nv the rise-yoo dressed in pur-
pie and fine linen Whle IL lasted, ana
why shoodent you take the loss Nv the de-
feline? It's easy enuff to call a cow-paster
city lots, but 700 hev got to hev city
somewhere in the viSinity to make EN-
city lots, actilly. Eff you want to be very
rich VOC can mark up $40 land to 81 900,
and consider yourself ez being opulent,
but you want to sell it for that, and git
paid in suthin that viii buy suthin else.
Captin, yoor land is wurth jist ez much
now eZ it ever WuZ.
s'Jeset.'' said MePelter, "you dOn'l
know nutbin about finance. Their is ne
reason why the Government shood not
I r,.in NJ ~ n,I1ch money ez the wants nv the