The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1879-09-12
Never fails Of crOp-a hen.


There are no loves like the old loves-God
bless our loving wivesi
Never fails OF a crOp-a hen.
When pretty girl is attired in u
Sine-culorded silk is she an intoxica-
ton beauty?
An eat-joke: To ask friend to dino
with you at a restaurant. and then
leave him to pay for his own dinner.
"I'n not compromise my honor"
said a loud voiced politician. No, and
for the same reason l will not close
The eye 10 the pack Of my head" said
his opponent.
I'm make you prove that" said "a
man to auother, who had accused him
of theft Don't" said a witty by
SANDER, "for you'll feel worse after it
than you do now."
10 an Indiana church the best look
ing ycung ladies' are selected to pass
the contribution boxes. and there isn't
young man in the congregation that
dare drop iu button.
Some Of our weekly exchanges have
a domestic department" This must
he hard department to get up if it is
anything like our hired girl iu the
morning.
A Limberger cheese factory at Great
Bend. Pa, was struck by lightning the
other night and entirely destroyed.
Another proof that the victory is not
always with the strong.
A Thief is really profound philoso-
pher aud always a candid thinker; that
is, he looks az everything in an alb
stract way, and. if you reason with
him, he is open and liable to conviction.
A young man went into q restaurant
the other day, and, remarking that
Time is money" he added that, as he
had half hour to spare, if the propri'
etor was willing, he'd take it out in
pie
That was ghssily joke that sins
tul Southerner played on stranger,
whom he promised TO introduce TO q
rich planter, sud then took him around
and presented him to the leading uu
dertaker.
"Cuffs for 10 centsl" cxcIsiued Mr..
Jollyboy. gazing out of street car at
sign; why | can get more'n | want
jest By aggrewatiD' the drst man I
meei-aud he'll throw them 10 for not
hin
A country negro recently sent
reply to an invitation. in " lob
he regretted that the ciroumsts1-
ces repugnsnt to the requiescencs
would prevent his acceptance Of the
invite"
The French Academy has awarded
a first prize for virtue to a sailor who
saved uine lives at the risk of his own
life; aud second prize to two ucmon
for maintaining an orphauage by their
own united labor.
A pick pocket taken with his hand
10 some one else's pocket endeavored
10 invent all manner ofimpossible ex-
plantations OF phenomenon. whats
The u-e of you trying TO lie about it SO
cIumsily?" said the magistrate, beneSo-
lentIy; haven't you lawyerf"
The foIloSing testimonial of cer-
tain patent medicine speaks for itsell:
Dear Sir: Two months my wife could
scarcel, speak. She has taken two
bottles of your Life Renewer, ADD
now she can't speak at all. Please
send me two bottles. wouldn't be with.
out it."
professor" said cheeky Soph, "is
there any danger of disturbing the
magnetic currents if | examine that
compass to, ,closely?' and the stern pro-
lessor, loving his little joke, promptly
responded: No, sir, brass has no ei-
feet whatever on them;" thereby scor-
ing three against the unslspeetipg
man of cribs.
A minister at a colored wedding.
who wished to be humorous. said. "On
such occasions it is customary to kiss
the bride, but iu this case We will omit
it - To which malignant remark the
groom pertinently replied: "On such
occasions it is customary to : pay the
minister SO, but in this case We will
omit il.
4 woman of business that was. who
told the doctor he oughn't to charge
her anything tor attending Bennie
when he had scarlet fever, because
thirteen of the neighbors' children
caught it from him. and gave him lots
of patients. She thought he ought to
be thankful instead of bringing bills
to her.
.'Tis said that absoenco couquers
love. quoted husband. iu writing
home to his wife, from whom he bad
been some time away. 81 hope. dear.
il won't be go 10 your case. -. no.
-he replied in her next letter, "the
longer you stay away the better shall
like you" He had to take it thus
ambiguously. as be was afraid to risk
asking an explanation.
what shall I preach about? ''ssid
a minister 10 the pastor of colored
flock which he was TO address. well,
mos any subject will be oepsable''
was the reply; only I'd liketo Glib you
one word OBJ caution" All! what Is
tha,?" well, eff was you. I'd tech
VERY light on de Ten Comma ndmonts." +"
Indeed and why?' "Oh, cos hac
uoti-e dat dey mos always hab damp
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