The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-07-02
All Sorts of Paragraphs.

The other day man died so suddenly
that the body was almost cold before his
distracted and grief-stricken rela tiyes
found the will.
A prettily-dressed little girl fell on
muddy street-crossing. the other day, and
gentleman fastened to her assistance
After cleaning off her clothes, he asked
her If he shouldn't escort her home mo
thir," answered the dignifed little dam
sci; IF you please, we amt been intro,
duced.'
''Professor," said the cheeky soph, II
there any danger of disturbing the mag
netic currents if I examine that compass
too closely?" And the stern professor,
loving his little joke, promptly responded,
"No, sir; brass has no effect whatever On
them;' thereby scoring three against the
unsuspecting man of cribs.
'"Do you really believe that an ass ever
spoke to Balaam?" queried man who
prided himself upon his intellect Cole
ridge, to whom the question was put, re-,
flectcd very calmly for few moments.
and then responded: MY friend, have
no doubt whatever that the story true.
I have been spoken to in the same way
myself" ..a
"a wasp's nest has $4,000 cells" and
the greatest of these ''sells' is to sit down,
on the nest under the mistaken impress
sion that all the wasps have gone to the
seaside or somewhere else on a visit. a
single wasp, loafng in the back Kitchen
will give the sitter warm reception.
And no doubt married one would treat
HIM in the same manner Exchange.
The manager had invited his friend to
call round and see some of the wondr Gus
attractions he had collected for tn e sea-
sons tenting tour, specifying in pa rticu-
lar giant as big as house and twice
as human. II say, old fel',' says the
friend, after careful inspection, ~ don't
want to cast a gloom over your entire
community, but don't think your giant
is quite up to the representations in the
small bills" "Well,' says the manager,
"he is little off. I didn't think he
seemed quite up to himself tonight
This from Eli Perkins: 81 knew a
man once-Jake Mason-who went to a
donation where six farmers were to con-
tribute a Jug of milk apiece. Well, one
man, a very mean man, thought it would
not make any difference if he contributed
water in place Of milk: so he filed up a
Jug with water and took it to the dona-
ton. When he got there, he turned it over
the bung. and it run into barrel where
all the other farmers had poured their
milk. Now, what do you think was the
result9 Why, every one Of the six farm
ers happened to be as mean as Jake Ma
son. They all BROUGHT aoater.
Benjamin Singerly, once the State
printer at Harrisburg, Pa, and who lived
most of his life at Pittsburg, where he
died, departed this life by sunstroke in
the hot July Of 1876. He left $2OO.0 900.
and weighed 400 pounds; the body after
death lacked only seven pounds of that
enormous weight. The body was buried
in Allegheny cemetery, at Pittsburg:
Three weeks ago, workmen were set TO
work to exhume it, for reinterment in
Philadelphia. 1t was next to impossib'tA
to hit the coffin out of the stone box in
which it, and a rough box covering it,
had been buried. 1t was finally lifted.
out, and the body taken from the coffin
1t had turned to substance resembling
yellow marble; a complete petrifaction-'
the features, like everything else, re-
NAMED unchanged. 1t was weighed, and
found to weigh 925 pounds Even the.
dress suit in which the body had been
buried was also turned to stone, OF into.
some substance much like it. The coffin
in which the body was sent to Philadel--
pima was seven feet six inches long and
three feet wide-about the size of the orig:
NAL one, and that had made it necessary
at the funeral in 1876, to have the slides
and sides of the largest hearse in Pitts
burg removed, in order to .getitin