The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1879-05-01


Bird voices tremble on the breeze,
The groves are all album
The outtercups peep thru the grsss
The spring, the Spring has comel
o lady fAirl o lady fair
Pat on your sweetest Hills
And you, young man, With saffron avs
Get cut your box of pills.
SPRING is always beautiful to the poet
who wears green spectacles.
The actress with the biggest feet al
ways wants to play Cinderella.
The time is near at hand when every
one can have peas in the family.
CLUBS are good for men who make
home happy by staying away from it.
The tramp isn't rich, but he can af-
ford to spend his summer. in the country.
The fute-player stops when he loses
his teeth. The fiddler goes on forever.
NEVER say to a man running across
lots In the immediate lead of wild bull,
Be not swift to take fence %
That cruel-hearted Steubentou saws
his wite's easter bonnet isn't nearly as.
big as the roll of bills that bought it.
IF man will tell me what he thinks
Sv his nabnrs, i kan tell him what his,
nabOrs think ov him. Josh Billings.
The amount of pin money REQUIRED
by the married woman depends on wheth-
er she uses diamond pins or rolling pins.
Now clean up the rubbish about your
premises and dispose of it by tossing it
over into your neighbours yard.
You can always tell when the hero
and heroine in play are man and wife.
They infuse no warmth or feeling in the
stage kiss.
SITTING BULLs medicine man is
about to issue little pamphlet on the
-" Treatment Of the Scalp."-[ Burling-
ton Hswkeye.
SHORT, isolated sentences was the
mode in which ancient wisdom delighted
to convey its precepts for the regulation
of human conduct.
A MAN was boasting that he had an
elevator in his house. $50 he has,"
cbimed in his wife /" and he keeps it in
the cupboard in bottle"
YEA! this is life. Make this fore,
noon sublime, this afternoon a psalm,
this night a prayer, and time is con-.
quered and thy crown is won.
IT was a wise man who said, d" He is
passing rich who can number friends
enough for jury-who can lose two or
three and not be bankrupt"
THERE are some things that are as
well kept dark. 1t isn't policy to throw
light upon such subjects as an open
barrel of gunpowder, for instance.
HYPERCRITIc1sM. Grace (whispering0
-" What lovely boots your partners
rot, Mary p' Mary (dltte)-" Yes, UNI
he shinessat the wrong end"
she lives above his income
Was the dark reproach he bore,
Till at last 1t remembered
That he lived above his stsre.
CHILDREN's singing breathes of Para
lise; clear liquid tones that flow from
Ups and innocent hearts, like the sweet
If flute, or the falling Of water from a
ountaiD.
EDITH" Now, grandpa, don't the
Bible say our hairs are all numbered ?''
Bald.headed Grandpa" Yes, child,
yes !" Edith" Well, grandpa, it didn't
.ruuble them much to count yours,
lid it ?"
COMMERCIAL travellers are good
of the development theory.
This springs styles have about an inch
and a half more cheek than usual, and
about q ton and three quarters more
oaggsge.
The child probably destined to be
he greatest of American naturaIlsts Is
already born. He lives in this city, and
8 the author of the remark that " A
ackass is the only animal that wlnks
With his ears"
SOME men advertise their lives and
The public are generally disappointed
because the advertisement promises too
much others let their lives advertise
hem, and the public always gets more
han is promised.
OF course no woman ever did such a
hing, but supposing now, for the sake OF
as it were, that woman was
% 20 to church for the purpose of show
ng of her new sacque, would 1t De sac
so to speak?
A BAsBFUL young man applied to
MS village paper for information on the
important subject, Chow to win wo-
mans love-" The reply was, " Kiss the
babies, caress the cat, and pay strict at
,ention to the old lady"
THERE is no use of trying to get
person to relish cod>liver oil by telling
lim that you took it yourself TOR sew
,raI years and grew to like it better
han quail on toast. 1t only wraps his
stomach up more and more like scrub
ping board.
PERHAPS the funniest object is the
man who spends his first day in news
oaper office. He tries to appear as II ne
1ad been in a newspaper office all his
lie Int somehow he doesn't seem 70 feel
sasy. There seems to be too many
bones in his shad.
The COllinsyille Cloud.
St. Louis Times-JouInd.