The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1879-08-17

stances, the amount and the time when ii was due.
with vivid accuracy. but who. when he borrowed
money found it utterly impossible recall the
slightest circumstance connected with the event
and the most pungent dunning letters failed to
remind him of the transaction. There Are
SO many moral diseases extant in these
hard times that We have drawn Il pencil
mark through that old hymn which our fathers
perhaps had a right to sing, beginning. "Strange
that harp of thousand strings should keep in tune
so long" fer the instrument seems to be entirely
out of order There is prime satisfaction. how
ever. which enjoy and which our ancestors knew
nothing about. and that is that since the harp has
got out OF tune nobody is responsible except that
scapegoat OF our modern days known as emotionai
insanity.
Here is very serious question for our moralists:-
If man Is MS good as his word and his word is good
! for nothing how good is he?
The wit-tnat is, the born w;t-stronsly resembles
chemist in that he always has retort handy. An
Irish gentleman happened to say, in company. that
he never saw such wind as that of the night pre-
yious Thinking TO badger him. some one said
..You saw u wind. did You confess never heard
of seeing wind before. Won't you kindly tell us
what it was like % Like ?" was the quick reply.
"why, it was like to have blown my house down
about my ears"
After all we cannot help liking those best who
think do. and when We ask anothers opinion
apt to be offended unless his opinion agrees
with our own. Mark Lemon has put this peculiarly
into verse;
Determined beforehand. we gravely pretend
To ask the opinion and thoughts Of friend;
Should he differ from any pretence
We pity Eis want both of Judgment and sense;
But If he falls into and hatters our plan,
Why really, we think him a sensible man.
Modesty is somewhat rare virtue, and yet it is a
dangerous thing to pretend to possess qualities or
abilities which YOU never had. The advice which
Jerrold day gave to youth has q meaning for
most of us also. 1t was:-"Young man. boadvised
by me; don't take down the shutters until there is
something in the window"
Perhaps it would be well to give broader scope
to this little anecdote and follow its advice respect
ing of own personal weaknesses. On
masquerade night the Duke of Norfolk, who was
addicted to the bottle. asked Foote what new char
acter he could so in. Foote sententiously replied
"Go SOBER
1t is sad fact, but nevertheless one which every
brave must face that Z
He that will never look upon an ass
Must lock his door and break his looking-glass.
Whenever you find man who has nothing to do
you will notice that he is equal to the task.
There is no spot on ali this earth where a poor
mother-in-law can sit down in sweet contentment.
Although she never interferes in family affairs.
cept with the praiseworthy intention or making
everything go moro smoothly, her motives mis-
understood, and the young husband is apt to regard
her a very heavy domestic burden. Those who do
their duty always manage to get themselves disliked
and if judged by this standard the mother-inlaw Is
a self-sacrihcing person who is doing her duty all
the time 1t in Paris that wretch arraigned
for attempting to dispose of his wife's mother in
very summary way. The Judge. who was also man
of experience, said severely :-"You accused of
an attempt to murder your mother-inlaw. What
have you to say?" The accused replied, 81 have
nothing say judge except that the attempt failed
through circumstances over which had no con.
troll" Then your punishment" returned the
Judge, shall be still more severe"
The fearful weather from which the Parisians have
b0n suffering for months has given rise to great
many suicides and great deal of w.t. The bon mot
of Dumas Gls is exciting smile just now. He said
that in 1870 when pictures very dear, every
body wanted to marry artists daughter. and
that in 1879 there is unprecented demand
for the daughters of umbrella makers. There
is another story to the effect and aptly Illus
the similarity between French and Ameri-
can humor. gentleman met his friend recently on
the Boulevard and spoke to him. II beg your
pardon, he replied. "but have not the honor of
knowing YOU" Nevertheless we have met before. -
forgotten. ''when thatY' asked number two.
at the last fair day, was the reply. "Have
you forgotten itY' 'Ah, one cannot remember all
the incidents of ancient history the rejoinder,
and he passed on under shelter of new umbrella.