The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1879-07-31

xRU1.UR.JOB I'm MATRbmONY. |
Y II Aeye been d subscriber of the |
News Leller for the last ten years.
6atGs %foksn-up' looking young maa
coming into this Office yesterday and
sitting down in front Of the managing
editor. and I called upon it for aid
And assistance.',
Tbs editor locked rather pointedly
It the clock, and asked what he could
do for the visitor.
Why, / want You to hold up to
public scorn and detestatlon Q fellow
called Mooney and . mean red-headed
girl named Morrissy.'
q sScandal case, eh2'
- A. heap sight worse. You see,
Vas engaged to be married to that girl
-4her names Maria-and DR.. Stone
was to hitch rs up the first of the
month, SO asked this mean cuss
Mooney, to be one of the groomsmen.'
He consented, of course i
You bet he did. You see, Mooney
has big black mustache and-and ell
that-and he's good deal of masher,
- It were. He said he'd try to make
1t lively aud pleasent for the brides
maids.' 44H. sfs,ss5ss;s.sss.lt ss!ss
And did her
ri Why, be actually made love to all
four. Got the other groomsmen luri.
ous BY flirting with the whole lot.
Told 'em it was the correct thing in
Europe for the groomsmen to kiss the
bridesme'ds all round before and after
the ceremony, and that they ought to
meet md practice to get the thing in
good running ORDER
~ Diq they praetice2' q ID the editor
/. laying down his pen.
Did they Why it was just disgust
ing, the way they want on every eve-
ming Tboee that viIller Mooney pre-
1euded TO. steer down the aisle and
hacked mp against the chanccl. and
then, when the mock service was over,
kiss and paw around the girls, would
have made your hair raise foot. Why,
he! ectusalys began flirting with my
Aaria1 mean that Morrissy girl
Is Made love to the bride, ehf
sEx1cuy, and she letting him do it
7mind -you. Well. yesterday they
laid they were going to have q final
-rebearal that night sqd to make the
thing more perfect they Intended to
get Bisgs, the young divinity student.
toresd the sel vice. And as was GO
ing oyer to OAKLAND with. q load of
: f6rAitnrd for our new house, Mooney
said be, would oficistesin my place.
That was Find in him.
q WAi1 s(minuts. I When got back
, pndgoapsd al Maria's bouse shout IL
p, ms ! found all The party sitting
: -aiopnd the psrlor looking very seri-
cuh except the bride, who seemed
kinder frightened. whats the troub
lsr .ssid1 whats happensdr &
Well, the fact is says that cheeky
Mooney there's been q most singu-
lar accident, the queerest mistake you
eypr Heard Of in your life. You see,
We were rehearsing the service as usu-
al, and I Was holding Maria,s hand
just like this, and young BiDgs got
sorter absent-minded, so to speak, and
the frat thinQ6ve knew he pronounced
us man and wife in the regular form,
and he now says we are married in
real earnest. Too bad, isn't it2 '''s
Singular mistake, said the editer.
But the worst of it was the way
that false hearted hussey took it. She
said il was pretty hard, but what
eOsldn't be cured must be endured.
and that she supposed. they couldn't
get divorce under q year, anyhow,
and lot of stuff like that.
'Peared resigned to her fate, as it
were. sss
'FxactIy; and thsn Mooney cAipped
in withe lot Of stua about not crying
over split mink, and said he'd take the
farniture OF my hands, snd pay fer
the ring. Said he'd give his note for
'em. Check? Why, that man has more
gall than pawnbroker's clerk, and
want you, Mr.. Editor. to show him
and his red-headed, big footed wife up
the worst way. Accident, indeed
Wny, its the plainest put-up job I ever
saw in the whole course Of my life
just let 'em have it in italics, if you
please, and III take sc extra copiesp
Inc editor said he'd attend to it,and
has since written to Mr.. Mooney to
say that position as reporter was al
ways open to him on this go ahead
jppst1[SaA Frencisoo News Letter.
Ht H.