Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-01-09
Sips of Fun.

LIZ JiidO tiIlS llllt 1CttN q
great many things concerning
his character, especially if he
runs for office.
A boy who had read of sailors
heaving up the anchor wanted to
know if it was sea-sickness made
'em do it.
Anybody can catch a cold
now. The trouble is TO let go
again, like the man who caught
the bear.
A Syracuse man calls his wife
"Poor Rule" because she won't
work more than one way, and
usually not that.
A western paper explains. 1t
didn't mean to say that Mayor
Snooks was tight" but that he
was right.
1t is all the way up hill to sue
cess, but it wouldn't be so Plag-
uey hard climbing up if there
were not so many coming down
all the time.
"Take away woman" asks a
writer, Sand what wouldfolIow?"
We would. Give us something
hard next time.
a man was boasting that
he had an elevator in his house.
so he has," chimed in his wife,
sand he keeps it in the cupboard
in bottle"
A clearinghouse mistress,
like the rest Of us, has her weak
and strong points, the weak
points being her coffee and her
strong points the butter.
81 am inclined to think" said
a fop to a lady who had refused
to sing, "you are fishing for COM
pliments." ooh, no." she replied,
Il never fish in so shallow a
stream.
They were having a snarl, and
she asked him if there was any
thing in the past he would like
10 recall. He heartily answer
ed, Eyes, The day you first re-
fused me-"
Some shallow -patcd editors
ridicuIe Wade Hampton be-
cause he has lost leg by reason
of the kick of a mule. Those
editors write as if the result
were family victory.
We have often been told that
here was a future in store for
is, but we have never found the
he store where it was kept. 1t
must be one of those establish
nents that do not advertise.
II should just like to see some
body try to abduct me-" said
Mrs. Smith at the breakfast ta-
Die the other morning. 'H'm !!
10 should /, my dear-so should
|" said Mr.. Smith, with exceed |
ng earnestness.
Editors like brevity, but a
nan who was recently hung in
Indiana suited them too well. !
lie made no remarks about
leavcn, but nodded at the
preacher and said, "I'll see you
and the trap fell.
A justice of the peace at New
Hartford married a couple the
,ther day, and the groom asked .
lim his terms after the knot was
led. "Well," said the justice, |
the code allows me two dollars.
'Then," said the young man,
'here's a dollar; that will make
you three"
A man may be a riotous old pa
riot on election day, and swear
hat the country is going to the
logs unless his party wins; but
f he loses, he is more than apt
10 come up next morning and
say that the result was matter
Of no importance, as no princi-
PIE was involved.
A Frenchman wants to know
Why plugging a watermelon
means to cut a hole in it, while
a tooth is to fill it.
Well, they plug a watermelon
FOR a fill, and dig a hole in tooth
for plug, and you take your
choice between collie and tooth
ache. Either is VERY film at
the price.
A clergyman, in speaking of
one of his Pensioners, who was
SO given to argument that it was
difficult to converse with him on
any subject, said-"Brother =
is so argumentatiye that he will
dispute with guide-post about
the distance to the next town,
and argue with tombstone as
to the truth of its epitaph."
He was something of cynic,
and when he visited the grave
cf his rich but henpecked
friend, a few weeks after the
burial, and found there a heroic
sized female figure in marble as
a monument, he cried out:
"Poor, poor, fellowl-as though
it was not enough il. life, he
is held down by a woman in