National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1879-09-16
MISCELLANEOUS.

TnE proverb Fair exchange is norobbery,'
didn't refer to church fairs
The game of poker Is very old. Shakes.
peare cxcclled in IT, You remember where
| he says, III call thee, Hamlet"
BILL JONES said a bullying urchn to
another lad, the next time / catch YOU alone
! Ky fog you like anything" "wel" replied
BIZ, VI amt often much alone; / commonly
have my legs and fists with me-"
The Fiji Islanders were very much dis.
! gustcd by the corscts worn by the last lot of
! female missionaries sent there. The hungry
but ingenious natives shy that II white women
are to have as many bones as u shad it really
/ doesn't pay to import them-Saa Francisco
| Post.
"DAN," said n four.year.old. "give me five
| cents to buy monkey" "Wo have one mon.
key in the house now,' said the elder brother.
| Who Is it, Dan?p You" was tho reply.
Then give me five cents to buy tho nom
key some nuts" The brother could not re-
sist.
| TEN'lEAR old boy, Boosting of his fathers
accomplishments, put it thus: my father
can do almost anything; he's u notary public
aud he's an apothecary, and can pull teeth
and he's horse doctor, and can mend wagons
and things, and eau play the fiddle he's q
! iackass at all trades"
| WRITER says; 81 was showing my watch
to my nephew who was about six years old.
lie pointed to the face of tho dial and said,
| Why, there is another little watch 2
81 said, That is called the secondhand
| lie tossed his head contcmptuously and
walked OIL, saying, wouldn't own second.
mana watch He had heard Of ccond.hand
watches, aud thought this WAS one Of them"
| THE other evening an old gentleman adj.
vanced the proposition that never in the course
OF his long life had he seen woman that was
not charming. "Oh really, now said lady
whose nose was OF the purest Ukraine breed,
don't you think I'm ugly 2" "Not at all
madam" replied the gallant old gentleman;
y you are an angel fresh fallen from Heaven,
only you fell on your nose ~
THEY were talking the other day at tho Cafe
Richc, In Paris, OF the frequent and harmless
meetings" between bclicose journalists.
One OF these days. said a bystander you
| VIII sec the accounts of these meetings set
forth in the newspapers as follows: An en-.
counter with swords took place yesterday on
the Belgian frontier, between Messrs X. and
T.. journalists. The frontier only was in
jured."
Mrs. GooDINGToS has been shopping. "The
clerks" she says, treated me with the outer
most condensation g long IS they could cit
anything out o. me but no sooner had one of
om found out that two yards of calker and q
hank o yarn was all | wanted, then he began
screaming out, Cash = aforc he'd half done
'em up. Jest told him that If l didn't have
n tail two yards long dangling to the cond of
my gown, and bonnit on the tip ecnd o my
pug, | wasn't to he insulted by u popiniay
like him. He looked cheap enough, can tell
yer, and tried to mako an exploitation. But |
guess they didn't think much on him in the
shop, for no sooner did take my puss out o.
my ridiculo than up steps u raal purity little
boy, no biggern our Steve, and takes tho
money right out OF the hand of that sarso
box. "-L0aOp YrdnScriDt