The New York herald., 1879-02-09

| How good of you" said the friend.
'Yes" said the dreamer. ''and you imagine my
| annoyance finding that had not a sou in my
drawer. 1t completely empty. By the by. do
| you happen to have fifty louis in the house?''
In French assze court.
| The President-well you acknowledge that you
assassinated the girl Clement?
Prisoner-I do.
President--And why did you commit such crime?
Prisoner-It was all owing to jealousy. Monsieur ie
President.
Presdent-But. having committed the murder, 1
should like to know why you cut up the body into
seventy two pieces.
Prsoner-I suppose because gave way to feeling
of impatence.
Les E,sfdnts Te,7iblesi
A gentleman who is longer young and who has
been good looking said to little Paul one day,
before his parents:-
Come. my little fellow tell me really what you
think of me. Am not handsome?'
The child making reply he added
"You won't tell me. and why?"
Because" replied the child with cunning air.
II know that If to tell you would be well
whipped for it."
Apropos of the new church which is being built
for Pere Hyacinthe in Paris the Figaro thus parodes
coupet of one OF Brazers songs the Abbe Chatel.
which was published in 1885,
Air: J'0,as un Cure Patriote
Liable Loyson est bon entant
permet plus quill ne defend.
Liable Loyson ne defend pas
lie vendredi gu on fasse gras.
C'est pour s'amuser quill confesse
C'est pour rire quill dit la nesse.
Bien Ben,
Ca tres-bien.
Pourquoi done sc gener en- rien?
professor of rhetoric who is fond of ecarte said
| to his pupils the other day
'"The reign Of Nero was dreadful. You know the
atrocities which that monster committed. He caused
to be burned in his presence slaves whose bodies
had been previously covered with pitch. But
history has recorded of him acts still odious.
! He u gambler. When he played and in
unucky vein he forced his courtiers to bet on his
side!"
| 1t was during one of the numerous managements
which have so rapidly succeeded each other at the
| Folies Marigny.
Ayoung author had presented comedy in five acts
''Five acts?" exclaimed the director; 1--WE never
accommodate them. Our theatre is too small"
One Of the Paris papers publishes the following
There are Gascons in America az everywhere else.
One of them recently said
"'In the State of Ohio the cold is intense in the
winter that this happened to II attacked by
robber. took out my pistol. There was powder
in it. but no ball. was inspired by lucky idea
spit in the barrel and fired. The spttle froze its
way and the maefactor shot dead!'
Nine. Z, who has no teeth. is in the habit Of
speaking very ill of Nine 2, who has very ugly
| ones.
Their respective situations were thus pleasantly
summed up by mutual friend
| 'If Nine. 4 had teeth she would be quite as
| ugly as Nine. T."
A celebrated Paris advocate went to his notary the
other day and deposited his will with him. One Of
| the clauses to this effect
II bequeath to the Hospital of the Insane at
| Charenton the sum of 2O0OO0f."
The notary exclaimed against the extravaganza Of
the donation.
1T is all right" rejoined the advocate. II have
made more than triple the amount by those who
spend a greater part Of their lives in prosecuting
law suits You see therefore, that it is only q res
titution.''
The son of NJ. Dufaure is credited with smart
saying on the day Of the debate in the Chamber Of
Deputies. which. as so many thought. would end in
his fathers ejcctment from power He waiting at
the St. Lazare station in the hope of getting to ver
saes by the one o'clock train. but the crowd WAS
great that he disappointed in getting q seat
the cars.
'See how badly things are regulated" he observed
laughingly. "No places have been kept for tho
relatives to follow the funeral"
Mme R, parisennc. whose least defect is to be
old she coqucttish arrived the other evening
after eleven o'clock at the house of friend where
only few intimatcs had been invited.
How late you toute BELLE" said the lady Of
the house, in tone of friendly reprosch.
| II very sorry" replied Nine. H., "but the
truth is that have femme de cldmJre who is slow
ness personined. Would you believe it, she took
more than hour and half to dress my hair"
| "You had one consolation" intcrposed one Of the
ladies present "and that that you might have
taken walk during the operation"
Tho Paris sign painters take curious liberties at
times. The following is to bo of the
shops il the Avenue dc Clichy:-
| Aux PErITs SECRETS pu DApLE.
| Corscts.
| On the signboard OF a shop IN the Rue Richer,
Paris. appears the following curious announce
| lei rcmpldcc les mduruises tetcs.
II should be added that the establishment Is de-
voted exclusively to the sale and reparation Of chill
| dren's dolls.
| An old servant enters the shop OF apothecary
and presents him prescription in which is ordered
potion containing two decigrammcs of morphine.
The apothccary's assistant weighs the dangerous
| ingredient with the greatest care
| ''what shamci" said the old woman to him, with
o shove at his elbow. 'Come. don't be stingy-it
is for orphan"
Le comte dc Il epouse une jcune ct charmante
femme. qui lc rcnd parfaitcmcnt hcurcux.
Cos jours-ci L. comtc besoin dun cocher. Un
| grand gars. bicn plante. Sc presente.
"J'ai sur de bons rcnseignements." dit NJ. de
& "Etcs-vous garcon marie9"
| Le cocher baisso les ycux. ct replique dune vox
| penetree-
'Jc compends la pcnsec dc monsieur 10 comte
mas IL peut bannir toutc crainte Je m'engage
| considercr madame CONNIE ma he" Il
| ~ n xb, bao f,,.x txro., t,y~