The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1879-05-23
WHAT TIE WITS SAY,


Peaceable Indians all stand in front I
cigar stores.-N 0. Picayune.
The man who believes he can move th
world should begin by Wheeling, Virginia
Free Preas.
Cetewayo, the Zulu, has ordered a ne,
suit Of clothes, consisting of a square O
court plaster to be pasted on his left shoul
der.
The diamond pin Of the fashionable he
tel clerk will be worn this summer by th
wife ofthe pawnbroker,- ,-PAtla. Chronicle
Herald.
Detroit Free Press This country n
doubt has fine navy. The only troubl,
ia to find the creek in which it was hiddel
after Paul jones died,
Patterson Press: Wagner, the composer
il reported hopelessly insane, and no won
der. He has probably heard more O
Wagner's music than any man living.
A subscriber in the country writes u
that man in his neighbprhood has tw,
glass eyes and glass nose. He explain
that his name is Glass. A transparep
joke.-Norrtstopp Herald.
The season for clipping the hair short ii
about set IN, and you will be unable to dis
tinguish Sunday school superintendent
from prize-6ghter unless you have su
perior knowledge of physiognomy.-Psoria
CaII
Fashion notes predict long tailed coats
for gentlemen the coming season which il
sweet assurance that in the future we
won't be obliged to hunt around after a
holder when we want to lift hot plate
Fulton Times. So
Bob Ingersoll has been converted. He
stopped over night lately at house where
there were two heartless fiends practising
on the accordion. He takes all back be
ever said about their not being place OF
in6Eite torture Yonkers Gazette.
The present plan adopted by churches of
making contributions by envelopes enables
a man to drop two old-fashioned cart W heel
copper cents into the basket with as much
style and flourish as if they were trade dol.
lars at par.-Steu5enuiHe Herald.
Somebody's child is dying-dying with
the flush of hope on his young face and an
indescribable yeafning to live and take an
hnnarnH rjono IN L.
companions of his youth. 49,. For
sale by all druggists. ts.-Danbwry Nesos. d,
Danbury Nsws:: The Prince Imperial of
France firmly believes that be will be one
day enthroned ruler of that country.
There was once man who firmly believed
that he could lift himself over a fence by
the slack of his pants, but there being NO
fence handy he did not not undertake it.
Extract from young lady's letter -
q" And do you know, Maud and I are quite
SIRE that Captain Popple had taken far too
much champagne at the ball, for hs took
out his watch, looked real hard at the back
of it and then muttered "Blesh my soul
I hadn't any idea it was that time O. day.
Frank Les1ie's Ladies' Journal.
A popular concert singer advertised to
participated in an entertainment in Mis-
souri, village excused her absence on ac-
count of having severe cold in the head
and the next day received the following
from an admirer: This is gouss greze /;
melt it and rub on the bridge of yure noz
until kured. luv you to distraxshun.-
Andresos' Bazaar.
Referring to the moon, the radiant queen
of night, we wrote that "the attenuated
crescent hung in the Western sky, "and the
artist made it appear the
overeoat hung on the Martin
boy" That comp. is now justifying Jumps
Of coal in basket with a shovel and
he isn't " dumping" ON a
brass galley. Hauea Register.
"No man shall ever kiss me except my
future husband" she said, as he was about
leaving her at the gate. "Suppose I'll
agree to be your futare-" Why, then
I'll kiss you," she replied eagerly" and she
did. Her mother was informed that he
had proposed, and the old lady called
around next day to fasten matters, and be-
fore he knew it he was eternally booked.
It was mean advantage, but bird in the
hand is worth two on the front gate.-
R;uob ,14nnfon Reqnblscnn
While man was dashing with all his
might and main down Courtland street to
catch train one day last week, a gamin
rushed after him and shouted F." Hey,
mister, have you got a pin ?' 81 have"
the man, coming to sudden
halt and feeling under the lapel of his vest.
'' Well, then," yelled the boy as he jump
ed out OF the way, "yeu had better fasten
your ears together behind your head so you
won't smash any swinging signs with
them" The pedestrian passed on unheed-
full of the advice given him.-Neso York
Star
"Tell Me, Am Dreamlng?'' is the title
OE q new SOuk. II 00 10 oCuoP4uS AP 1oiA
pieces at every step he takes ON the side
walk until his pockets are SO full that the
coins spill ont when he bends over, it is not
necessary to tell him that be is dreaming.
He will discover the melancholy fact as
soon as he wakes in the morning and sees
his trowsels hanging on the bedpost, with
The pockets containing nothing more valu-
able than latch key, two nickels, dilap-
dated comb and piece Of salt pretzel.-
Norristoua HeraId.
A NEW METHOD OF GETTING RID OF
.Jamison in
forms us that the Humboldt bottom, from
sloan's ranch, near Tnle, to Battle Noun
tain, is literally alive with young grass
hoppers. The warm weather of the last
r.. l.,,c f,oa hrnurht khaua 0uf 0f the