West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1879-05-03

WIS arc bSlHR DIcssSu ny thousands VINO
have been saved and cured Ivy 1t. VIII
you try it? See another column.
THERE was little fellow who knew
Mother Goose better than he knew his
Bible. Ore Sunday he was asked IN
his class. "Who were thrown into the
fiery furnaceY" That was too much
tor him. The question was passed; the
answer came promptly, Shadrach,
Meshach and AbeInego." This was NOR
tification to the little fellow, and when
the next question came, "Who put
them inP' he answered with Jump,
Little Johnny Greenn'
MANY years ago, Il DIR. Williams, an
English Clergyman, had violent quar-
rel with one OF his Practitioners by the
name of Hardy. On the succeeding
Sunday the Doctor preached from rhe
following text, pronouncing il with
much emphasis There is no fool like
the tool Hardy"
AN HONEST libernian, trunding "A
handcart containing all his movabes,
was accosted by a friend with, Well.
Patrick, you are moving again, see. 4"
Faith am" replied he. ''The times
are so hard it's a dale cheaper hiring
hand-carts than paying rints."
GEORGE" said the elder Washing
ton, George, my son, did you fasten
the front gate last nighty" Father, -
replied the faithful George, edging of
toward the back fence, Il did. | can
not tell a lie; did it with my little
latch it," ANT lr
AN INQUIRNG citizen of Madison, In
diana, thrust his fingers into horses
The horse closed his teeth To see how
many fingers the man had. The
curiosity OF each was fully satisfied.
WHEN dog snaps at flv that has
been fooling around him for four or
five hours aud misses it, he fells like a
girl who pours the full tide of her af-
fections over young man and suddenly
discovers that won't soak in.
Do SoT trifle with the affections of
an innocent young city girl; do not
try to nuke friends with mule by
squeezing its hind foot. II you aspire
either way you will find that life is a
miserable failure.
OLD LADY ITO young curate who has
obtained preferment, and is about to
leave) . We're main sorry to lose
you sir. You've been very good to us
old people. You might "a been old
woman yourself. sir ~
SAMMY, my boy, what are you cry
ing fOrY'i Bill throwed the Bible at
me and hit me on my head" "Well.
you are the only one in my family on
whom the Bible ever had any impress
sion"
THE following notice is posted con-
sP'cUously in a newspaper Office out
west: SHUT tie door, and as soon rs
you have done talking business, serve
your mouth the same way"
-----~--
CAN you tell me how old the devil
is'" asked an. irreyerent fellow of a
clergyman. Ny friend, you must
keep your own family record" was
the reply.
The man who goes to church simply
because he has nothing else 10 do, ma =
not be a heather, but he is certainly an
idle worshipper.
Washasy isa-hohday, thanks 10 Dob
bins Electric Soap, (made by Cragin &
Co., Phila.) which is rapidly coming
into general use. # acts like magic. and
bleaches clothing without injuring the
fabric. Try it.
u WAS a bald-headeI clergyman who
TOOK for his text, 90 The hairs Of our
head are all numbered"
--------
SAMSON was the greatest tfagediau OF
Ills day. because Go his la-t act he
brought down the house.
"TO WHAT base uses d9 $50 come at
last" as the single said % the up.
turned boy
a rArEE that Is Away fulI of good
points-a paper Of ncedlea
0cHool-BoYs are usually glad 20 Sc,
ihe rule laid down.
IW common railroad guage nova
days is Tine mortgage.
BoND-, Of course, have to be- nleI be-
fore they are broken.
= mPlE ciub--a gang Of burglars.
JW OK has o neat foot.
Ins way D. Bill time Shoot ever,
day
a cHEtT ail-bearer-A peacock.
bows 600 the wOud--A miner.
a sEEIN age FOIfsQe
WHILE WAlTfsG FtEb COy9u no 20 ag 10 came
sou are oHeh laying fHe foundation Tor ia
ruin nary on Brgurnla. Affection. DO is bet ri
U gat r.d VI "a COD ~ once hY using fnaf .ur
remedy. ~ ID Jayue's - aectrrauf witch ,giI