Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1879-12-05

meant when there were no relations visit
I ing him. s.I,ll tell you what, my dear,''
with a sudden inspiration, "I've great
i mind formally to deed over this house to
your relations, if they will agree solemnly
to leave me in peace for the rest Of my
life, wheresoever I may set up my family
tent!'' ,
s'Nonsensel'' said my wife. 'sDo go up
stairs and change your things, and brush
1 your hair, and get ready for tea. They're
all waiting in the best parlor, and was
expecting your return to see about hiring
some cot-beds from the village hotel, to
put up in the attic for those four little
Speakwell children. You see. aunt Louisa
has the blue bedroom and cousin Joab
sleeps in the little wing chamber, and Mr..
and Mrs. Speakwell will have our room,
and a1estle
/ ''Inceed!" said I. "And we are to sleep
in the barn, suppose?"
"Don'tDe cross, John,'' said my wife,
|appealingly, lone must be hespitable, you
know. And can easily make up the sofa
bed III the back parlor for our use, for a
;week or two.'' -.ss ~
| l said nothing, but ground my teeth in
silent despair, as sprung up stairs, two
steps at time, to make what changes 1
could in my toilet, by the aid of . ten by
ftwelve glass, hung over the washstand of
"a stuffy little bathroom. "A, eass ...
| The Reverend Mr.. Speakwell was big
man, with a still bigger voice, and limp.
faded little wife, whose sole earthly inter-
ests seemed conferred IN her four white
eyed, freckle faced children. Uncle Silas
and aunt Melicent were silent couple,
with excellent appetites, and two tall boys
who giggled and snickered at each other
IN the Intervals Of the conversation.
Cousin Joab talked necessarily with his
mouth full, and the two Miss Wilmerdings
served as general echoes to the rest; while
| aunt Louisa devou:ed lobster salad ad
| libitu1n and kept on sending up her cup for
more green d tea, until trembled for her
While my wife, CAREFUL and troubled
| like Martha of old, with many things,
looked ready to drop with the hospitable
exertions she had made; and I sitting a
mere cipher at the head Of my table, felt
as if 1 were keeping a boarding house,
without any of the pecuniary emolument
therefrom.
"My trunks will be up in the SIX O'Clock
train,'' said the Reverend Mr.. Speakwell
''I'll trouble you, cousin PoYntz, to send
an expressman TO the depot for 'em. And
if there's any apartment in this domlclle,
cousin Poyntz, that could be fitted up as a
study for my temporary use, it would
greatly facilitate my intellectual occupa-
lions during my sojourn in the suburbs Of
this great city And must beg that you
will keep the house very still during the
hours which devote to study"
Here nay wife looked at meaghast, think
ing of little Johnny and the baby.
'Never mind, my DEAR I remarked,
soto uoice: 1--WE can easily get 'em boarded
out someWhereI ''ss~--
',And,' went on the Reverend Mr..
Speakwell, II should esteem it favor if
horse and buggy could be procured for
my daily use when going to Doctor Dosem,
in the city, as the motion of the trains dis
agrees with my nervous system"
II don't happen to own carriage" said
l. "But might buy one.'
'Thank you, thank you. cousin Poyntz!''
said Mr., Speakwell, blandly.
And if there's any other little thing
you should happen to WANT l added,
''pray don't be backward in mentioning
| it.'' etli4 htae sia
mo, won't cousin Poyntz,'' said the
reverend gentleman, with the utmost grav-
| ity. 3.N sa 4l
And 1 am bound to say that he kept his
| word.
For three days endured the swarm of
visitors which literally infested my home,
and then I made up my mind that patience
had ceased to be virtue.
s'I'll suit stop to this thing,'' said I.
1 came home one night with tragical
expression on my face. @
Katherine 2 l said to my wife, 81 am
ruined ~ vi ~ sit
"What u cried all the company at once.
"Those shares in the Western Union,
you know?" said I. shifting my forehead.
Yes, dear" gasped poor Kitty.
They have gone down. said I. mot
worth penny
"Oh John !" m
II wish 1 had taken your advice and let
'em Alone" said I. but, after all. it
doesn't so much matter, as if had no
| friendsn A1sH II staA M 81
I looked beamingly around at my wife's
relations. They returned the glance by
the blankest Of stares. /.
''If borrow two hundred dollars apiece
from all these dear kindred said /, with
obtrusive cheerfulness, land request Uncle
Silas to endorse my business notes.
~ couldn't think of such a thing hur-
riedly interrupted that gentleman.
81 should be most happy to oblige," said
cousin Joab, "but am quite out Of funds
at present
s'And l." said the Reverend Mr.. Speak
well, pushing back his chair, ''must save
what little share possess Of the worlds
filthy lucre to pay my passage and that Of
my family back to Minnesota
''Surely,' cried I, "you would not go
away and leave me in such pecuniary
straits as these?'' s37Af3
The Reverend Mr.. Speakwell significant
| ly buttoned up his pockets.
st is every mans business to look af-
| ter himself, cousin Poyntz,' said be; land
don't scruple to say that it is downright
| dishonesty fol-, a. business man like your
self to get into such financial difficulties
| And in fifteen minutes every cousin of !.
| the lot had, upon one excuse or another, I