Stevens County tribune. (Morris, Minn.) 1877-1880, 1879-04-03
Sense and Nonsense.

A fixed fact--one that gets into a
woman's head. @fg
Food for repentance-Mince PIE eaten
late at night.
The onion originated in Egypt So i'm
portant facts leek out, one by one. 7.
Sir Robert Peel, speaking of Lord
Eldon, said that even his failings leaned
to virtues side; upon which bystander
observed that his lordship's failings re-
sembled the leaning tower Of Pisa, which.
in spite of its long inclination, had never
yet gone over.
An advertiser in the Chicago papers
says: "Never 60 where you. are not
wanted! If a man wants you to come 10
his place of business he will invite YOU
through an advertisement. II is wrong
to intrude on privacy"
"A professor, lecturing on the effects OF the
wind in some Western forests, remarked,
"ln travelling along the road, I even
sometimes found the logs bound and
twisted together to such an extent that a
mule couldn't climb over them, so l went
round"
It was because Nelson attended to de-
| tail in respect OF time that he was 80
victorious. ~ owe," he said, "all nv
success in life to having been always q
quarter of an hour before nv time"
"Every moment lost" said Napoleon,
''gives an opportunity for misfortune"
The late Mr.. McNab, curator of the
Edinburg Botanic Garden, was once
taken to see Dubufe's painting of Adam
and Eve, and was asked for his opinion.
II think no great things of the paint, u
said the great gardener; why, man,
Ewes temptin' Adam wi pippin of q
variety that Wasna known until about
twenty years agom
In case before the recorder Yesterday
witness tor the defense, in giving his
evidence, observed: The whole affair
your honor, didn't amount to row OF
pins." Counsel for the Prosecution
"What is the value of a row of pins2'
Witness Cnaively, scratching his rose)-
THAT all depends upon the extent Of the
row." Counsel-"I have no more ques
tons to ask this witness" -Montrea
| Witness.
81 tell you what, sir, there's luck il
| ",
old Jeremy Pickett lived to be ninety
nine, and Miry Arnold died at hundred
and five, and Squire Billy McCrackersl,
| departed this lie aged one hundred anc
'leven. Suppose, now, that he'd a-dieo
when he was just even a-hundred anC
ten, why, sir, I'll bet to gracious b.
wouldn't have lived more'n fifty or sixty
years."
"Poor Herbert! How ! wish you die
not have to slave so at that horrible stort
from morning till nightp said his wife
as, with fond caress, she seated hersel
on her husbands knees and gently strokeG
the auburn locks from his sloping brow
And the grave, stern man of business
understood her at once, and answered
"Well, Susie, what is it-a bonnet O.
what9 Go light on me, for money i
scarce'n ever"
Says correspondent of Scri6ner
Doctor Bethune, even, rebelled agains
; conventional propriety in driving fas
horses in day when horse with goot
legs was far more reprobate than he i
to- day. tits said that Bethune's consistor,
once complained of the scandal causet
by the doctors horses.
"Well, gentlemen" he said, meekly
81 may as well tell you that I mean t
sell the horses"
The brethren expressed their delight
''The reason I am going TO sell them
this he added, slyly. Il was driving
to-day, and So-and-so passed me, and
tell you, gentlemen, will not drive
, team that can be passed"