Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1879-07-19
The Old Family Journal.
VARIETY

The coracusius iero-the cbiropodist.
Thoughts Of pie-plaa, begin 90 soften the
heaT,.s.rings.
man takes nip before meals ia order to
wet his appetite.
Birds are not motel for courage bs. many
Of them die game.
" hope I see you wei as The bucket said
when u touched The water
Tiers viii always be- an S.-N-tal difference
between ,he north aud sonth.
A classical farmer 10 Burlington township
names an his pigs after Che Greek roots.
a Keniueky paper boasts Of a society editor
elo has DO peer outside the iunatic asylum.
& Lsir-drcsser hopes 20 flourish 10 this
world. and also ia ,he world which is 70 comb.
Burlington SAYS "Iowa half a million !" an q
Cleveland excla:ms Oaio several millions
Jio 20 Thy auat. thou slogga-j, and ii she is
worth moaey consider hes ooys
"Io1k. shouted aa inspired bu, imperfect
IS posted exlor.er, at Sodom aud tomorrow.
What shroa; IS lhc best for a siugcr 20 reach
high notes WITH "a soar throat
There IS 60 harm in a glass or whiskey-il
yoa allow it 10 remain 10 the glass
4 criminals are 20 be believed, zone Of them
ever had an honest conviction.
IN furnishing house Tie most bat-rack,iye
furniture should be placed 10 the ball.
The individual who was accidentally Injured
by the discharge Of his duty is still very low.
4 mans good fortune often turns bis head /:
his bad fortune as often aver;s The le,ds Of bis
friends
Il is sa.l that necessity knows 10 law
This accounts for people making such "a virtue
of necessity.
ltmay sound Ike a paradox, yet TIE break
ias of both wings Of an army is a sure way
% make It By.
A suit for SIX pairs Of brecches Of promise
was brought against one man Ia Freehold,
New jersey.
Jtreqpires wonderful Insight TO keep your
conso.cutocsscv-Yies ans yoar Ever symptoms
separate.
4 country blacksmith. out West. put up a
rs;icc " No bosses shOdlcd Sunday except
sickness anJ death"
A new kind of ulster has Just Been invented
with snow sheds an around the collar AID a
box tunnel down the back.
10 Hartford a ton Of ice cost tbhty-sevea
asd a half ccsis. OF three tons Or one dollar.
This does not Include postage, Of course.
Swcedleppcs thinks ;ba' instead Of giving
credit 20 WHOM crsJ.; IS due, tae cash hel
better he paid.
II you want % know what new books are
OCT. jgst 60 70 o circulating library aud try to
borrow them.
low roosts and dark nights greatly tempt
iAe uugodly to eat toued turkey.
An epicure once asserted that two were re-
quired TO make a zeal Of a cLicken-himseli
and The chicken.
When the oontrihuGon-box comes round.
IL you don't give a cent you should nod, and
holding is assent
Husband Ny dear. WAY are you making
such an elaborate toilet? Now that you are
married you need not dress 10 please tie
men 90 Wife don't dress % please the
mer. my dear, bat TO worry other women.
A subscriber To- The country takes bis pen
In hand 90 lei, US know that tbs other evening
he passed q young couple 10 a buggy, Tie
Young man sHiins on The girls lap, aud She
singing Baby Nine" Tie thinks the song
was very appropriate uuler she circumstances.
An Omaha belle recently received a present
oi pair Of tweny-iour button kil gloves
from one of hsT admirers She wrote him
letter Of thanks io which she frankly told him
tha, De had made ceeai mistake 20 the size.
bat she had 'cns.'e,l .t by curing Oh the feet
ali suiy wearing Gle legs.
Two pretty girls were going alobg Brosd-
way, near Elre.ay street. Yesterday, wssn the