Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1879-03-01
A BOLT ALWAYS IN ORDER.

Squills declares that his wife IL always
taking some kind Of mean advantage of
him. "rhe best woman in tho world,
sir" says Squills; "but now and thon
abe will oct mean, and she can't help IT,"
"Last Saturday, ut breakfast" says
squills, "she was smiling as u basket of
chips"
care your chops done to your liking,
Sqnills, dcarp
"Dclicio,lsly, my love"
~ broiled them myself, dearY'
IL knew y was going to be hot" said
Squills, "and when | got into tho hall
to leave, Mrs. Squills was there, with
my Int in one hand nnd my overcoat in
the Other.'
"Squills, dear" Sl,e began.
~ thought 1t time to pitch in here"
said squills, $50 said, quietly
GLOW much, Mrs. squills' Out with
1t, my love-
"Mr squitlS, don't be unmanly, sir"
not to say yidiculous Gussy wants u
silk dress to go to church in; tho poor
child really isn't deccnt---you are very
sorryi Well, No you ought to be. Let
her say her prayers ut home No, Mr..
Squills, she sban't stay at home, and she
shan't say her prayers; and, Mr.. squils
you're enougs' TO aggrayate saint, and
your conduct Is disgusting, aud it's
enough to drive woman to bolt right
off to Chicagv and got divorce"
81 thought this was u good time to
fire off my pct joke" said squi|ls, $50 !
said Mrs. squills, bolt is always in
order. Then | bolted myself, for Mrs.
squills comes Of fighting family"
sWhcn l went home that night, Guspy
dear child, played all my pet OIlenbach
music, and knew was in for the dress,
only wanted to hold out till morning,
just for the looks of the thing.
"For five years after we were married
Mrs. Squills would persist in looking
under tho bed for man. It's the same
man every woman looks for, suppose,
because they all do 1t. Well, failing to
find the man, Mrs. squills gave up in
disgust, nnd took to something else.
N''s S4uil|s' weakness Is boiling ,he
''''' Mr. sanills, have you boltcd ihe
'''a : Is always tho last thing ut night.
"Fh's particular night, Mrs. suuill,
was very digniIied and distant mo
famlI'ar'ties, Mr.. squills, if YOU please
wounded my feelings in their tendcreat
point this morning and cannot forget
though yon did, that am your wifi,
Nr, and the mother of your children
". spuills.'
N This was pitching it uncommonly
vt "Ng, you know" said squills, "and /
nut Sabout to surrender, when Mrs.
BIO NJ turned off the gas aud then coilcd
ers ashup in u pot, somewhere outside
The s,nur rail. Not even Goodnight,
IN oan ! | felt pretty bad about it, |
in a,t.r aYYu, but went to sleep, and
hus ,..ol M experienced u kick in the
not tanning ne playful mule had bee"
ose a,wa, Perhaps it was necessary,
0'' aMr. sdfp hard.
on .ov .Mr. Sat last l heard Mrs. S.
a'te doorr. :, have you bolted the
~ -, "Now, l lea
will TINT is the colto any man whether
ana Of the family t6hing for the mother
and bolted the OF course, got up
souil1s, why didn and said, Mrs
the door before I y think Of boiling
aths wake up a man i'm sleep, and not
'em- niybt to do itp Amddle of cold
arty nose her answer vast do you sup
the "Why, Mr.. Squillsh
a bolt was always in o., Thought
dop- "What did say! W
ause And the worst of all, )" said say 7
isors be hanged if she wasn't lalls, "Tll
4aat me-
I1,o --~ rnmun NJ -