St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-06-27
Squibs.

A young man having been requested
at dinner to reply to the time-honored
toast of "Woman," closed his remarks
with the familiar quotation from Scott
20 woman, in our hours of ease,
Uncertain, coy, and hard to please"
Here his memory failed him but after
little hesitation he continued in
triumph:
But seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace"
A we'll known builder of this city was
asked why the new pavement was be-
ing taken up in DevOnshire street. His
reply was that it was laid diagonally
and made the horses cross-eyed, so .
that they slipped and fell.-[ Boston
Traveller. ......
Noah's arc-The rainbow.
A new baby jumper-the cucumber.
The young girl who graduates in four
languages and sixteen flounces, will
soon be heard from.
"Let us them" says the progressive
farmer, ''let us then be up and doing,
with heart for any fate-phosphate."
A writer on styles says: ''It is the
fashion in France for ladies to take
their tea in bonnets and gloves" 1t
may be, but we prefer teacup. Gloves
make tea taste bad, and bOnnets drip
so.
A man was hanged for horse stealing
down in south western Missouri last
week, and just before he was swung off
he confessed that for nearly two years
he had been addicted to wearing a
liver pad.
The man who goes fishing and sits in
a cramp-inviting posture on narrow
plank from early morn till dewy eve,
and calls it fun, is the same chap that
never goes to church because the pews
are not comfortable.
A man out West has eight children,
and every last one of them has the
mumps, in both cheeks, in unbroken
chorus. And the family looks like a
convention of book agents. "Why 2"
Whyq Oh, because.
All the vaunted skill of the chiropo-
dist cannot keep the ache out of the
feet of young man whose boots are
smaller than his socks, chiropod the
chlrOpOdist never so chiropodly. Now
say that real fast, and see if you are
sober.
When Washington learned of Ar
nold's treachery, he exclaimed, 'HWhOm
can we trust now 2" The next evening
he received a postal .eaE9 wfsnveu TO get
any G6y"t trade.
The man who is too lazy to carry
scuttle of coal up stairs for his wife,
will think nothing of rowing five miles
or of practicing with dumb-bells for
half an hour before breakfast.-EG-
change.
my father, what is an Israelite 2"
"My son, an Israelite is rich jew"
"And what is Jew, my father 7" "a
poor Israelite. ."-Puck. ...
In Stanstead, Canada, man sold ten
cent packages, warranted sure death
to potato bugs; no risk of poisoning
animals as with Paris green" The
packages were not opened until time to
use them. One victim, having three,
opened one and found two square blocks
of wood, on one of which was written
"Place the bug on this block, and press
firmly with the other" .saa-a
DR.. Newhall, the former president Ot
Delaware college, and personal frienC
of Bishop Haven, was very sick. Th'
disease filled the poor mans mind will
/ all sorts of vagaries.J For many day
2 he thought himself immortal, and re
fused to eat anything whatever. TIL
bishop happened to visit him durin
I this time, and tried to prevail upon hi
i sick friend to take some nourishmen
u mo, do not want anything said h
It 81 am immortal. am in heaven. Th
is heaven" Then pausing for me-
e ment and looking at his visitor with
3, troubled air, he said 'But, Have
J. how in the world did you get here
st You are the last person | expected
D see in this place, "-[Pittsburgh Chro1
N icle.