The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-12-11
BHIC-.d-BItdC.

"A colt is usually badly beaten be-
fore he is well broken. With an cgg
1t is different. 1t has to DO broken be,
fore it is beaten.
The only good thing connected
with q lottery is, that man can Drr-
chase enough castles in tho air for 81
to last him month.
1t is estimated that Governor
Spraguc is going to fire Off hi, month,
and Us there is no telling what il is
loaded with, Conkling is uneasy somc
more.
,..Judging from the number Of fran
chiscs that are being granted in San
francisco Tor new street railroads, if
the thing keeps on, that city will have
10 import some new streets.
w hen the dentists Of the, country
discover way TO pull teeth without
making hn,an wish he had been born a
hen,, life will have twice as much
brightness.
There is probably nothing in Mis-
transitory world that yields larger and
quicker returns on the amount invest
ca than poking a wasp with your fing-
CT to scc it nc feels we'll.
The only portion of Mr.. Uavcs'
message that Rogers has seen proper TO
enhVen with hllmor, is the paragraph
ABOUT civil service reform. It is lust
rs funny and as cunning as it can be
| EE.
"A Long Islander won't into Now
| York barbcr's shop on the morn
ing after Thanksgiving and, giving his
| head toss, asked the principal cutter
to take off little Of the foliage.
| "A fool made himself sick bv riding.
five hours in al English railway coacR
with his back to the engine. IIo said
nc couldn't change seats with ANYBODY
! because there was nobody else in tn
| car.
1t is pleasant for a man to go early
to church sociablc, and thHn sit in
the parlor and listen to every fresh male
arrival knock his new silk hat Ofrthc ton
peg in the hat rack, down to the floor.
-Strong-mindcd wife: och, james,
You are great on languages; what is
the difference between exported and
transportcdT' Submissive husband:
"Why, my dear, if you should 90 TO
Europe in the Bothnid you would be
exported, and I-weIl, l should be
transportcdW
The editor Of the Fort Plain Re0-
!ster, proud of the telephone connect
ing his house and office, shouted. TO his
wife, "Mr. Skidd will dine with us to-
day" and turning to the prospective
9ue>t, said, ,"Now you can say a word
TO hcr;' but as he was about to do so,
the words came distinctly, '"Ten him
we don't keep restaurant on wash
ing day." Skidd made an excuse. and
went to an""cating house.
A small boy was hocing corn in q
sterile field by the roadside, when a
passcr-by stopped and said: "Pcars to
mo your corn is rather small" Ger
tainly," said tie boy, "tis dwarf
corn" 'But it looks yellow" Ger
lainly," replied the 10y. eve planted
yallar kind" "But ii looks MS if YOU
wouldn't get more than half Il crop"
"Of course not" said tho boy, eve
planted her on shares"
swell, my son." said q good ma
tulpd father TO an eight year old son,
the other night, 'What have YOU done
to-daS thab may be set down rs Il good
doodr' "Govo q poor boy five cents"
replied the hopeful. "Ah, all, that
was charity, and cha, ;ty is always
right. llo was an orphan boy, was
he" 81 don't know" replied the bow.
81 gave him the money for licking a
boy who upset my diDncr basket"
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