davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1879-02-14
Phunnygraphs.

Absolutely false---a set Of arti.
fetal teeth.
A Mormon wife might be called
d SQUARE. rib.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30
THE FLORIDA AGRICULTURIST.

fed him that he had made mistak,
in regard to his own child, and h,
would help to get Joe married, anC
thus stop all further suspicious OF
troubles at home. So he said:
well, Joe, is she buxom lass ?
yes, sir" said Joe. "That is
other folks say so. I'm not much Of
a judge"
"And you like her?"
Yes, sir; yes"
"Then marry her." said old Dan.
forth.
:" can't; the father objects"
"Pooh!" continued Danforth; "let
him do so; what need you care
Run away with her!"
"Elope?"
eyes! Off with her at once II
the gal will marry you, all right.
Marry her and bring her here. You
shall have the cottage at the foot of
the lane; I'll furnish it for you; your
wages shall 0e increased, and the old
man may like it or not, as he will
But"
"Give me no 'buts,' Joe. Do as I
bid you; go about it at once, and"
You will stand by me?"
Yes, to the last. I know you,
Joe; you're good fellow, a good
workman, and will make anybody a
good husband"
"The old fellow will be so mad,
though"
"Who cares, l say2 Go on quiet
ly but quickly"
"To-morrow night, them" said
Joe.
YES" said Danforth.
"Ill hire Clover's horse"
"No, you shan't"
"No?"
"I say no. Take my horse-the
best one-young Morgan; he'll take
you off in fine style, in the new phae-
ton."
Exactly" ~
Gas soon as you're spliced, come
right here, and jolly time We'll have
of it at the old house.
"But the old man might drop in
on u.s."
Bah He's an old fool, whoever
he is; he don't know your good
qualities, Joe, as well as l do. Don't
be afraid. A faint heart, you know,
never won fair lady,"
"The old man will be astounded."
Never mind; go on. Well turn
the laugh on HIM. I'll take care of
son and your wife, at any rate"
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30

Cocoanut Drops.-One cup of butter,
two cups of sugar, two cups of flour and
two eggs. The cocoanut grated.
Rice Batter Ct1Ees.-Mix one-fourth
wheat -four to three-fourths of rice -four:
! Cd . !; = hGlIa.sasAsel[ :
wheat cakes. -
Rye Crackers one teAspoonful
of baking powder and one-fourth pound
of butter and lard to one quart of rye
-four make into stiff dough knead
we'll, roll thin, cut round, pick and bake
in q quick oven.
Stirred Eggs. Shirred eggs are made
by buttering rs many common earthen
saucers as are required for each person
to have one break into each two or
three eggs, set the saucers into stove.
pan and put this into q well heated
stove to bake, the whites only to be done
the yolks half done. Send these to 20
seasoned and eat ont of the saucers.
Dressing for Lettuce Salad. -Afterpo.
tatoes have been mashed and prepared
for the table, take two easpoonfuls of
the potatoes, one tablespoonful prepared
mustard, one tablespoonful of vinegar, q
little pepper and salt; mix well, using
a table knife, and mash all Jumps slow
ly pour on, while stirring, enough olive
oil to make it the proper thickness; at
| the last add one hard-boiled egg, finely
chopped. 's'a5a3
Egg Blanc Mange.-Two-thirds of
box OF gelatine, one quart or milk, one
cup of sugar, six eggs, salt and flavor to
taste. Put the gelatine into the milk
set it on the back of the stove until it is
dissolved, then add the sugar beat the
yolks of the eggs until they are very
light; add gill of cold milk to them
when the milk on the stove is scalding
hot, put the eggs in stir constantly
until it is done, which will be in few
moments. If allowed to remain on the
| fire too long It will curdle Take from
/ the fire and continue to stir it gently
unil it is quite cold,- then put the mix
ture into mold and set on ice. To be
eaten with cream.
| Chicken iaUith Rice. Truss fowl as
for boiling, putting couple of onions
inside of it, lard it with bacon and put it
to braise in a stewpan, with slices of ba-
i con, carrot, onion, sweet herbs, spices,
pepper aud salt to taste; moisten with
some good stock, and during the process
of cooking frequently haste the breast of
the fowl with the liquor. Pick and
| wash quite clean half pound of rice,
| put it to boil in plenty of sailed water |;
when the grains begin to burst drain off
the water, cover. the rice with damp
cloth and let il remain by the side Of the
| fire till quite dry. Take equal parts of
the liquor in which the fowl is braising
and tomato sauce, and work them into
the rice with grated cheese until you get
it to proper consistency. then make q
border with it around the dish, lay the
fowl in the middle with little gravy
under it, hold salamander over the
breast to give the larding nice color,
and serve.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30
The GrasshOpper and its Tale.

Whenever I go to London | always
stand at the corner of the Bank Of
England for minute or two, watch
ing the crowd of busy men hurrying
everywhere. What thousands OF
cares they carry! How many ankle
ties Then l look at the Royal Ex-
change. 1t is pleasant to see the
London sparrows, though they are a
little black and grimy, chirping on the
massive cornices, as free and happy
as possible, above the dim and awful
hurry of the great city. They have
no cares, no anxieties. They seem
to know what the great letters mean,
which are cut on the stones on which
they hop. The earth is the Lords
and tie fullness thereof" God keeps
the sparrows, and they are happy. |
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30
Above his Business.

"I wouldn't do that" said one clerk
to another, whom he saw doing dis
agreeable piece of work.
cit must be done, and why should
not do it ?" was the excellent reply.
In few minutes the wouldn't-do-it
clerk, ashamed of his remark, was as
sisting the clerk who was not above
his business.
In Scotland there is branch of
the legal profession known as"Writers
to the Signet." A young gentleman
was apprenticed to one Of these
writer's. The youth thought himself
very fine sort of a person, much
above ordinary apprentices.
One evening the master desired
him to carry bundle of papers to
lawyer whose residence was not far
Off The packet was received in sill
ence, and a minute after the master
saw a porter carrying the parcel
SEEING his hat the master followed,
and, overtaking the porter, relieved
him of the packet and walked in the
rear of the apprentice. The lawyers
house being reached and the door,
bell rung, the youth called out,
Here, fellow, give me the parcel"
and slipped sixpence in his hand
without looking around.
"Here, it is for you, exclaimed a
voice which caused the youth to turn
around. His confusion, as he beheld
his master, made him speechless.
Never after that was he. above his
business Youths Companion.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30

He gave in reluctantly, and the
fair Minnie Danforth was overjoyed
to be duly acknowledged as Mrs.
Joe Walker.
The marriage proved happy one,
and the original assertion of old
Danforth proved truthful in every
respect. The cunning lover was a
good son and faithful husband, and
lived many years to enjoy the happi-
ness which followed upon this run
away match, while the old man never
cared to hear much about the details
of the elopement, for he saw how
completely he had overshot himself.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30
The Runaway Match.

Many years ago there dwelt in the
town of P, pretty village, dis
tant some miles from the market
town, a peculiarly comely and grace
full maiden, who had a decidedly
ugly and cross-grained but wealthy
father.
Minnie was Danforth's only child,
and report said she would be his sole
legatee. The old man was sturdy
farmer, and was estimated to be
worth full ten thousand doIlars-at
that period very handsome fortune,
to be sure.
The sparkling eyes and winning
Havc of Minnio Danforth bod sf;rrad.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30
Gold i'm Her Teeth.

The head of a boy about ten years
old might have been seen sticking
through picket fence on Beaubien
street, last Sunday evening, as loud
"yah-hoo" signal was given to some
one in the house. A lad of ''there-
abouts " finally opened the door, and
came out and asked:
lis that you, Jim? What yer
want?"
II didn't see you down where we
was riding on cakes Of ice in the
slip" replied the other. N.
81 know we didn't. This has been
the hardest Sunday / ever put in on
EARTH" *'it RI
dad sick ?" f..T e.
"No; dads in Saginaw, but, man
got some gold in her front teeth yes
terday, and she was bound to 60 te
church to-day if it killed her. 1 had
to run all over; creation and borry
things for her, and stay home and
take care of sis"
els it real gold, Jim?"
+" guess SO, tor she went in the
morning, then in the afternoon, Their
to q lecture, and now she's gettin
ready for the evening sermon ant
practicin' on shown her three from
teeth. Pm goin' to run away as soor
as grass starts. "-B,rlington .Hdsck
eye. eoE 5ma Iis
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30

young people may indulge in waltz,
in which all may join, for no one
need be asked to play the dance mu-
sic. You can easily see," continued
Mr. Edison, "what an advantage the
monograph will be to the blind and,
indeed, I have already received one
hundred orders from such persons.
Now, if lawyer speaks an address
to the photograph in the way he
thinks it should be rendered, and
then has the instrument repeat it, he
can estimate very fairly what the
effect would be on a court and jury.
Again, there are many men who can
talk better than they can write. They
can, therefore, talk to the phono-
graph without the hindrance necessa.
rily caused by using pen; they can
stop when they please and waite for
ideas, and then they can let some one
else copy the productions as the
photograph repeats it. You see,
this opens vast field, and one sug-
gestion follows another. Now" con-
tinued Mr.. Edison, with another OF
his happy laughs, "the lover, while
waiting for his sweetheart to finish
her toilet, can place on the phono,
graph a sheet OF the pretty things
she had said to him before, and so oc-
cupy himself for time with. her
counterfeit presentment." What
will be the cost of photograph r
asked the reporter. About $lOO
The instrument will be finished IN al
styles and handsomely decorated"
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30

up nner I1eIInSS OF LHe We4efe
male portion of the village, and her
suitors were numerous but her
father was particular, and none sue.
ceeded in making Roadway against
him or her.
In the meantime Minnie had true
and loyal lover in secret. His name
was Walker-Joe Walker, and he was
simply a farmer, employed by old
Danforth, who had entrusted Joe
with the management Of his place for
two or three years.
But q very excellent farmer and
good manager was the plain, unas-
Stunning, but good-looking Joe Walk
er. He was only twenty-three, and
he actually fell in love with the beau
tiful, pleasant, joyous Minnie Dan
forth, mis- old employers only daugh-
ter. But the strangest part of the
occurrence was, Minnie returned his
love earnestly, truly and frankly, and
promised to wed him at favorable
time.
Things went on merrily tor q while,
but old Danforth discovered certain
chances and attentions between them
which excited his anger and susplc-
ion. Very soon after Joe learned
the old mans mind indirectly in re-
gard to his future disposal of Minnie's
hand, and he quickly saw that his
case was a hopeless one, unless he
resorted to strstagem; and SO he al
once set his wits to work.
BY agreement, an apparently set
tied GOODNESS was observed by the
lovers towards each other for five OF
six months, and the father saw, as ht
thought, with satisfaction, that hi
previous suspicious and tears had al
been premature. Then, by mutua
consent, Joe absented himself from
the house at evening; and, nigh
after night, for full three months, die
he disappear as soon as his work wa
finished. to return home only at lat'
bedtime. This was unusual, and OLE
Danforth determined to know thu
cause of it.
Joe frankly confessed that he wa
in love with mans daughter, who
resided less than three miles distant
but. after several months, the OLE
man had utterly refused to entertain
his application for the young lady
hand.
This was capital--just what OLE
Danforth most desired. This salts
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30
The PhOnograph Of the Future.

Professor Edison, the perfector OF
the photograph, is also the inventor
of the electric pen and many other
narvels. To reporter of the New
York World, who recently called at
bis place at Menlo park, N. j., he
made these promises in regard to the
future of this last wonder: ave
shall phonograph orchestral concerts
by brass and string bands, instru-
mental and vocal solos and part-songs.
The sheets bearing the sound i'm
pressions of this music will be re-
moved from the monograph and
multiplied to any extent by electro.
tipping, and persons can make selec-
tiOns Of any composition they desire.
Then this music may be repro
duced by any phonograph, with all
the original sweetness of expression;
and not only that but the pitch can
be raised or lowered by increasing
or diminishing the speed of the pho
nograph. We calculate that an ordi-
nary SO cent novel can be got on this,
said Mr.. Edison, tapping the circular
plate, which was about six inches in
diameter. Novels and valuable liter
allure will be read to the monograph
by elocutionists and persons under
standing the subjects presented, and
the matter will be multiplied by elec-
trotyping in the same manner as mu-
sic. You see, therefore that you can
have monograph in your parlor
with an album of selected phono-
graphic matter lying beside it. You
can take a sheet from the album,
place it on the photograph, start the
clock-work and have a symphony
performed. Then, by changing the
sheet, you can listen to chapter or
two from favorite novel, and this
may be folloynd NJ sa,acr 4. duet
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30

You shall +" said Danforth; and
they parted in the best of spirits.
An hour after dark, on the follow
ing evening, Joe made his appear
ance, decked in a new black suit, and
looking really very comedy. The
old man hustled about the barn with
him, helping to harness young Nor
gan to the new phaeton, and leading
the spunky animal himself to the
road. Away went the happy Joe
Walker in search of bis bride. A
few rods distant he found her, as per
previous arrangement. and, repairing
to the next village, the parson very
quickly made them one in holy we'd
lock. Joe took the bride, and soon
dashed back to the town of P,
and halted at the house OF Danforth,
who was already looking for him,
and received him with open arms.
sis it done ?" asked the cd man.
Yes-yes," answered Joe.
Bring her in, bring her in con-
tinued the old fellow in high glee ;
"neyer mind compliments; no mat
ter. about the dark entry. Here,
here, Joe, to the right, in the parlor,
we'll have,a jolly time now," said the
anxious farmer. pushing away tor
lights, and returning almost immedi-
ately. q. rt .l.t
II amjmarried-"
i" Yes, yes"
"Andf this is my wife," he added.
as he passed up the beautiful bride,
the bewltehing and lovely Minnie
Danforth.
"What = roared the father. "Joe
you villain,zyou scamp, you audaclous
cheat. you-you-you-"
"It is t<ue, sir; we are lawfully
married. You assisted me, you
planned the whole affair. you lent
me your horse, you thought me, last
week, worthy Of any mans daughter
you promised me the cottage at the
foot Of the lane, YOU"
81 didn't! l deny it You CAM
prove it. You're a-a-a-"
"Calmly now, sir" continued Joe
and the entreaties of the happ,
couple were at once united to quel
the old mans ire, and to persuade
him to acknowledge their union.
! The father relented at this. l
was a job of his own manufacture
| and he saw how useless it would b
finally to attempt to destroy it.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30
1874
THE SABBAT TIL.

The week of toll is gone.
Once more. broad streaming through the
deeps of night,
Another day, the welcome Sabbath morn,
Is risen on my sight.
This day my feet shall cease
The wearying, fretting rounds of life to
run;
But they shall be led forth with joy and
peace
Toward my Fathers throne.
My hands shall rest awhile
From hard and grasping toll for daily need;
From owarping cares and passions that
defle-
Oh heart, awhile be freed!
My soul shall fold her wings
In the calm shadow of Almighty love;
My ear shall hush to catch the faintest
ring
OF harm0nies above.
My eye in trust shall turn
Toward the green pastures of eternal rest.
The far and shining portals half discern,
Of the mansions of the blest.
wait, O Lord, the morn
When from the mystic deepS of death shall
rise
The heavenly Sabbath, in full brightness
Upon my longing eyes
When no dark weeks of toll.
lUo OoJ VI bIlttlL 1OIlOW OT prOCeO0-
When from all pain, unrest, and wild tur-
MOL
Shall heart and hand be freed.
And when my ear that now,
Deafened by earth's discOrdant noises,
Hears but so faint and far. while listening
low
The deep, eternal voices.
Shall Ope to know the songs.
The fullest depth of harmony divine,
When holy hymns that breath from seraph
tongues.
Shall find place on mine.
When to these fields of rest
Where death shall cease, and life and love
begin
When past the portals, to the mansions
blest,
My feet shall enter in.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30

DIR. johnson once silenced notorious
female back biter, who was condemning
some of her friends for painting their
cheeks, by the remark that it is far less
harmful thing for lady to redden her
own complexion than to blacken her
neighbours.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30

Though we seem grieved at the
shortness of lire in general, we. are
wishing every period of it at an end.
The minor longs to be of age; then
to be a man OF business; then to
make up an estate; then to arrive at
honors; then to retire.-Ad1is0at..
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30

wish the busy city men would watch
the sparrows, and read the great city
text.
But the sparrows and the text are
not the most attractive things about
the Exchange, and l am sure if you
look at it, you would think as do
that the weathercock is the most sing
ular and curious, thing about the
building. 1t is not like any other
weathercock in England or l should
think IN the world for there, twist
ing on the pinnacle of the spire, is a
monster grasshopper; and I'll tell
you how it came to be there.
About three hundred and fiftv
years ago, a woman with her little
baby in her arms was trudging along
a country lane. Presently, after look
ing to see that no one was watching
her, she climbed over gate into the
field, and wrapping the baby into its
little shawl, she laid it down on the
grasses SO gently as not to awake it,
and then, never even looking behind
her, she climbed over the gate again
into the lane, and went on her Jour.
ney.
The baby soon awoke, and began
to cry; and il cried for long, long
time. And at last, tired and hungry,
and hot with the sun, for 1t was a
hne Summers day, it was wearied
out, and dropped off to sleep again.
J" But God had heard the voice of the
lad,P and see how simply he brought
help for the little one.
By.and-by, down the lane came
school boy; he was whistling away,
as happy at ever he could be. He
had come out of school and was going
home. He lived at the farm house q
little way further up the lane. Now
he gathered few prlmrcses, now he
scampered after a butterfly. now he
had shy at a bird; but Just as he
came to the gate over which the wo-
man had climbed, he heard a grass
hopper chipping away so loudly that
ne sprang over the gate to catch him;
and there was the baby. fast asleep
Far more pleased than if he had
caught a hundred grasshoppers. the
boy took up the little fellow and ran
home with his prize. The kind farmers
wife, although she had many children
OF her own, at once determined to
keep the little orphan who had been
saved from death by grasshopper.
Years passed away and the baby be.
came a strong boy; the boy grew to
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30

became merchant. God Dressed all
he did, and he rose to be the most
noted man in the city. Queen Eliza
beth was then on the throne, and
often did she send for Sir Thomas
Gresham, for the little deserted boy
had become knight, to consult him
on the great affairs OF state.
Just three hundred years ago Sir
Thomas Gresham founded the Ex-
change. The Queen came to dine
with him, and to lay the first stone 7;
and there, upon the topmost pinnacle,
Sir Thomas placed grasshopper
and there it is to-day, to tell you and
me, when we 90 to see the city, that
Almighty God, will hear the infants
cry, and can save a valuable life by
even such little thing as a grass
hopper.
So it was that God heard the
voice OF the lad."-Presbyteriaaa.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30

AaRIcULTURIsr 50 per annum.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-04-30
RECIPES.

CocOGnut Drops. One cup of butter.
two cups of sugar, two cups of flour and
two eggs. The cocoanut grated.
Rice Batter CaEes.-Mix one-fourth
wheat -four to three-fourths of rice -four;
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-02-06
Temperance.

Quite number Of petitions in favor of
"local option" have been presented to the
Legislature since the commencement OF the
session, and Mr.. Quinby, of Clinton, intro
duced 3 bill into the House on the 18th,
which provides that on the application in
writing Of thirty citizens of any township
to the township Trustees il will be the du-
" of the Trustees TO order q vote to be
held on the FIRST Monday of April, upon
the quettion Of permitting the sale of in
toxicasing liquors, beer. ale or wine, or the
prohibition thereof, except for medical
purposes, upon the prescription Of prac.
tising physician.-If a majority of such
vote be in favor Of such sale, then the sale
shall be subject to all the penalties and
forfeitures now existing by statute, and il
the vote be against such sale, it will be un.
lawful to make sale thereof, except fol
medical purposes, and any person violating
such law shall be subject to penalty, in
liquidated damages, in tine sum of $50 fol
every day kept open after the first day O
June next following the taking of sale
vote.
The house has not yet come to vot,
upon the bill, and now is the time for it
friends to send in petitions in favor of it
passage. Local option" has worked wei
in other sections, and we are in favor O
giving it fair trial. Besides, it seems t.
be about the easiest way getting at tn
question Of any that has been presented
The people of this country recognize the
right of majorities to rule.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-02-06
The Dollar Apple

which saves until March, April and May
is the kind to buy from agents of home
nurseries. There is fortune in it.
An acre Of Strawberries will yield 5000
the second year after planting.
A row of Blackberries or Raspberries,
Cherry Currants, or Houtons Seeding
Gooseberry, 40 rods long, will yield ten
times in value row of the same length
in corn, potatoes, turnips, or beess, and nc
more labor.
A single cherry tree last year yielded to
Thomas Drake of Somerset, Ohio (aftel
paying boys for picking) S23. l sold one
third of an acre of Delaware grapes fol
$21 dollars on the vines, while two thirds
of an acre Of corn grown by the side o.
them sold for SO The corn was vel
sold. In 1878 the grapes resold for SOL.
Pears, Apples, peaches, plums and nee
tarines, grown on dwarf stocks, can be eat
en- the second and third year after planting
So can grapes, gooseberries, blackberries
sasberries, strawberries &c. on natural stock
To get the dollar apple and all the abov'
fruits, patronize the Perry Nursery and NJ
Ksgay agent Mr.. Lentz's Agents sell a
Nursery prices. If they do not the buye
can get reduction No difference to tn
buyer. Same price ofagent or Mr.. Lent