Connecticut western news., 1879-06-04
WIT AND WISDOM.

-Ihe llt1Ca OOSeTUST bayb eVeu ueAA pilot can tell Long Island by the sound.
 Things may be seen differently and differently shown, but actions are visi- ble, though motives are secret.
 -Fenelon said: I prefer my family to myself, my country to my family, and the human race to my country.
 The season is rather backward at Saratoga. Since the 1st of April to date only four new springs have been dis covered.
 Whatever you would not wish your neighbor to do to you do it not unto him. This is the whole law the rest is mere exposition of 1t.
 Six Illinois vagrants got into fight over a wallet found in the road ny one, and after five of them had been all wounded, the sixth ran off with the wal let to fad it empty.
 A well-known scientific man says 1t is all hmbug about fish containing phosphorus. We have always thought it fish story, and felt disposed to make light of it. Too much fuss for us.
 A farmers journal says that New England has upward of 23o farmers clubs" But, lest the number fail to frighten the tramps, it may be added that a great many discriminating dogs gre ready for an open spring.
 The Elmira Gazette knows a glrl who will wrestle with a croquet maliet in fine hot sun for hours and not com plain. But just ask her to hang on to the wooden end of broom for few minutes and she'll have fit.
 Over on West Hill, says the Bur lington Haa0keye, man wants to match his hired girl against time for $5oo, to smash one thousand china cups in one thousand quarter hours gate money to % to the man, and push shots barred.
 The higher rose the waters Of the deluge the higher was the ark lifted on their bosom and thus, as the floods of afiicfion rise in the soul that carries Christ, will be lifted buoyantly above tbem-nearer heaven and everlasting happiness.
 The soul may be compared to g field of battle, where the armies are ready at every moment to encounter. Not sin- gle vice but has more powerful oppo- nent. and not one virtue but may be oyerpowered by combination Of vices.
 What is your business here q asked an irate beauty of an Irish hotel servant whom she found at her door. "To answer the bellies, marm," said the ready Hibernian, with look of respect ful admiration which won him smile and quarter.
 That was neat, says Boston paper, the remark of young lawyer on Wasn- ;noton street, the other morning. A friend accosted him, "John, wish you would change this twenty dollar bill for me ?" The blushing, but pleased attor- ney lifted his hat and replied, My good boy, you Aatter me, you haster me ]" .e,,,
 mistake the other day. She married a
 man under the impression that he was
 her fathers coachman, and he turneu
 out to be @ Mexican nobleman. She
 nrononnces him to be shining fraud and wants a divorce. For once unmar- ried foreign nobility is at discount ID
 this country. The Burlington Hawkeye has the following: "My only and sufficient ex- cuse for being," said the tall tramp with the bow-legs end one eye, q is my per sonal beauty" And it would astonish the vaeabond if he could go into the bes' I society and find how many men have the l same excuse or about the same fouEda : ton for existence.
 !. An ambitious young clerk in
 wholesale grocery establishment re so,ves to enter the civil service and st . nresents himself before the examiners
 Que of the questionsis What is colte' : and where does it come from ?" On U come now, you know," says the candi
 date "I can't give away the boss --al
 low me to plead privilege. That's 1T professional secret.
 lG Man has an InWaTu VOico "S Woh q 10 an "inward eye" voice distinct froi n that of conscience. It is the companior o- if not "the bliss of solitude;" an is though he sometimes employs 1t to dt d ceiye himself, it gives him good counse re perhaps, quite as often, calls him to a' ,k count, reproves him for having left ui | j; said what he ought to have said, or t Id having said what he ought not to haS 1e said. reprehends or approves, admol e. ishes or encourages.
 te Little Johnny" Pa, you said on' O. that the reason folks are dumb is D e. cause they can't hear others talkP" l g. delighted to see how well his little st no remembers) )-"Yes, Johnny" John
 -"Then I suppose boy who nev
 gets chance to see anything would ,t- blind, wouldn't he ?" Pa (rather d in concerted at Johnny's logic) =" Well la yes-perbaps sc. But why do you 2 el. that. Johnny 2" Johnny -ss Nothin