The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1879-06-20

tore all the clothes Oh him except
those that were In front, and made
spectacle of him that was astonishing.
He examined authorities, but he could
not understand the matter. It was of
the same breed of dogs that was In the
books, but It acted very differently.
whatever this boy did he got into
trouble. The very things the boys in
the books got rewarded for turned out
to be about the most Improbable
things he could invest In.
Once when he was ON his way to
Sunday school he saw some bad boys
starting off pleasuring in a sail-boat.
He was filled with CONSERVATION be-
cause he knew from his reading that
boys who went sailing ON Sunday in
variably got drowned. So he ran out
ON a raft to warn them, but a log turn
ed with him and slid him into the
river. A man got him out pretty soon,
and the doctor pumped the water out
of him, and gave him q fresh start
with his bellows, but he caught cold
and lay sick bed nine weeks. But
the most unaccountable thing about 1t
was that the bad boys In the boat had
good time all day, and then reached
home alive and we'll in the most sur
prising manner. Jacob Blivens said
there was nothing like these things In
the books. He was perfectly dumb
founded. . .. .-......-..
When he got we'll he was little dis
couraged, but he resolved to keep on
trying anyhow. He knew that so far
his experiences wouldn't do to go in a
book, but he hadn't yet reached the
allotted term of life for good little boys,
and he hoped to be able to make a
record yet il he could hold ON till his
time was fully up. If everything else
failed he had his dying speech to fall
back ON.
He examined his authorities, and
found that it was now time for him to
go to sea as cabin boy. He called on
a ship captain and made his appltca-
ton, and when the captain asked for
his recommendations, he proudly drew
out tract and pointed to the words,
stTO Jacob Blivens, from his affection
coarse, vulgar man, and said, ssOh,
that be blowed! that wasn't any proof
that he knew how to wash dishes or
handle slust-bucket, and he guessed
he didn't want him." This was alto
gether the most extraordinary thing
that ever happened to Jacob in all his
life. A compliment from his teacher,
ON tract, had never failed to move
the tenderest emotions of ship captains,
and open the way to all offices of hon
or and profit in their gift-it never had
in any book that ever he had read.
He could hardly believe his senses.
This boy always had a hard time of
it. Nothing ever came out according
to the authorities with him. At last,
one day, when he was around hunting
up bad little boys to admonish, he
found a lot of them in the old iron
foundry, fixing up little joke on four
teen or fifteen dogs, which they had
tied together in long procession, and
were going to ornament with nitro
glycerine cans made fast to their tails.
Jacobs heart twas touched. He sat
down on one of these cans (for he never
minded grease when duty was before
HIM, and he took hold of the foremost
dog by the collar, and turned his re-
proving eye upon wicked Tom Jones.
But just at this moment Alderman
Mc\Velter, fall of wrath, stepped in.
All the bad boys ran away, but jacob
Blivens rose in conscious innocence and
began one of those stately little Sunday
school book speeches which always
COhiAeuCo s'oHy SlE! 1uC the alUeE-
man never waited to hear tho rest. He
took Jacob Blivens by the ear and
turned him round, and hit him a
whack in the rear with the fiat of his
hands; and In an instant that good lit
lie boy shot out through the roof and
scared away towards the sun, with the
fragment of thLso fifteen dogs stringing
after him like the tail Off kite. And
there wasn't sign of that alderman or
that old iron foundry left on the face OF
tho earth; and, as for young Jacob
Blivens, he never got a chance to
make his last dying speech after all his
trouble fixing up, unless he made it to
the birds, because, although the bulk
of him came down all right in Il tree
top in an adjoining county, the rest of
him was apportioned around among
four townships, and so they had to
hold five inquests on him to find out
whether he was dead or not, and how
it occurred. You never saw Il boy scat
tered so.
Thus persisted the good little boy
who did the best he could, but didn't
come out according to the books.
Everybody who ever did as he did
prospercd except him. His case is