The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1879-08-02
THIS AND THAT
ApbtEss TO A CAT.

/ ADbREss TO CAT.
Sweet warbler, when the radiant moonlight
falls
In mellow spiendor on the haunted shed,
Oft have listened to thy plantlte wauls
And cursed thee from my sleep deserted bed.
How have 1 wept to hear thy long drawn
shout
"Maria Oh Maria Comm ou-out -
Why dost thou rage, vain cat, when sable
night
With "dewy freshness fills the silent air ~
Why dost thou climb the roof to yell and fight,
And rip and spit and snort and claw and
swear?
Dost thou not Llush, sweet cat, when rosy
dawn,
Sees half thy fur clawed out and eye gone :
-Pinafore (Carncross & Dixe's versionD
scene following "Sweet Little Buttercup's"
(aged 10Y giving away" the captain. Eu-
ters Sir Joseph Porter. Sir Joseph Where
is Captain CorUoran ?" Richard Dead =
(Bdsso) "ue's down in the cabin changing
his pants' Chorus Ginning in)-"And so
are his sisters, and his cousins, and his
aunts."
1t was on settee near the waters
edge. "Geo rge," said She "did you know
that this is the longest day in the year"
Yes, know 1t, but you made Inc forget
it," was the whispered response. Ahl
"A man on the eve 5f being hung, said
"Any way, its only matter of minute or
two"
George Macdonald, the English religi-
GUS novelist, is going to give dramatic repre-
sentations of Pilgrims Progress, assisted by
his IL children.
A child, after gazing earnestly at man
who was bald but had heavy whiskers, re-
marked "Ifis head was put on wrong side
down, wasn't t2"
When he gave his farewell concerts Will
helm promised to go home; but now he is
fddling all over the west like a regular Ole
Bull.
-"That beats the Dutch" as the Tuetonic
hotel keeper said when one of his guests
left him between two days, forgetting to pay
his bill.
"A st. Louis man recently died. In his
will he said he never could forget favorj
and he left 81 900 to an individual who, 10
years ago, ran away with his wife.
Women always become indignant, and
men always get mad' Is this difference to
be explained Upon geological or psycholog.
ical grounds.
Minister Falk, by the report from Ber-
lin, has resigned, because he dcspairs of
coming to any terms with the Pope. Says
he: 81 haf done Yat-I-can."
-Half-wdy up the Hill. Grandpapa-
"By George, must stop and blow bit;
Tommy" Tommy-"All right, grandpapaj
I've got stone to put under your heel"
Two boys wedding onions in Connecti-
cut were prostrated by a stroke of lightning.
Boys whose fathers own onion beds should
cut this out and paste it in their fathers
hats.
Ills wife asked him how he liked the
discourse, and Jobbins replied: "Well, now
to see old Perkins get up and adjust that
wig of his'n, and thet let 60 that freshet of
epithets, was the most in-wigorating spec
tacle ever partook Of"
This is the season of the year when the
good little boy refuses to go in bathing with
his companions, because his mother iorbids
him. stays on the bank to mind their clothes
and scoots for home after tying knots in the
sleeves of their trousers.
Any father who would go out and put
tar on top of his front gate after dark must
be lost to all sense ofhumanitY and ordinary
respeotablity .--Detrot Free Press. That's
so and besides the trick is too thin his
daughter will stay there late enough, with
out any subterluge on the part of her father
to get her stuck there.
Charles Sumner used to say that he had
heard Lord Brougham make use of the
wickedes. oaths he ever heard fall from the
lips Of any human being. This is no doubt
true, but we will bet the cigars that Charles
Sumner never heard Pennsylvania hired
girl spout Shakespeare TO a cookstoYe that
wouldn't draw.
The new editor Of a neigboring ex-
change boasts that he has improved his
paper lO0per cent. 1t may be true, but it
demonstrates the fact that, the pen which is
mightier than the sword, has been totally
eclipsed by the scissors.
After the services. Deacon-"Good al.
ternoon Brother Smith. You neglected to
pray for rain; and our crops are all burn
ing up" Minister-"So did, am sorry.
But you know our church has pic mic TO-
morrow, and that will doubtless do quite as
we'll.
Weston, speaking at a meeting in Lon
don, stated that during the last u years he
had walked, ,"wobbled" on foot $4,000 miles
Sir John Ashley said that though he had
refused to back Weston for the last match,
he was glad of his victory.
Cipher is the very appropriate name Of
New Hampshire balloonist who has in
vented a new air ship. We suppose his is,
all that the term implies, an airy naught.
"A lady sending basket Of farm-luxu-
res TO her daughter in Philadelphia, by ex-
press, was so anxious that it should go
through speedily that she enclosed note
in the basket requesting her daughter TO
have an order for the expressman 10 meet
: she basket at the depot.
-AtTltming Task. Young lady (Pettish-
ly To dreaniakef)-"Oh, bother wanted
this dress bf the seasid, and it seems quite
an indoor thing, You seldom sec these
dresses worn out" Dressmaker-"oh, no
miss, il is of such good material, it will last
all the season"