The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-12-31

Pet friends are the hardest to
keep, and when you do lose them
they turn from honey to gall.
The man who has been brought up
on hog and hominy is the man. who
wants quail on toast when he strikes
a hotel
DR.. Grellet, of Vichy, states that
he has never tailed in immediately
relieving simple hiccough by admins
tering lump OF sugar soaked in vim
egar.
waiter" cried out an Arkansas
traveller, "bring down my luggage"
"What is it, Sir ?" ga bowie. knife,
pair of pistols, pack of cards, and
one shirt"
"This is the maiden all forlorn,'
who often wished she had never been
born, and turned up her nose in petu-
lent scorn at the girl who last sea-
sons hat had worn.
"Have you ground all your tools,
as 1 told you this morning said
carpenter to his apprentice. "All
but the saw, sir; couldn't get quite
all the gaps out Of that"
He lives long who lives well; and
time misspent is not lived, but lost.
Besides, God is better than his prom
Use, if he takes from him long lease,
and gives him freehold Of better
value.
Five courses of brick will lay one
foot in height on chimney; six
bricks in course will make fue
four inches wide and twelve inches
long; eight bricks in a course make
fue eight inches wide and sixteen
| inches long.
Did you ever notice poor chap
that stands in the first picture in the
almanac, with the fish and sheep and
scorpions and bulls, and twins, etc.,
around him ? Did you ever notice
that he was naked and had nothing
I in his stomach? Well, that poor fell
low used to edit paper,
About the poorest Pinafore joke
of all was tried on Susan B. Anthony.
Il shall never marry" said that
}}acfty ~ y l lsfs.s vera
claimed the gentleman to whom she
was talking. "Now you go right
away from here" replied the lady
with violence, COR I'll hit you with
my umbrella.
President Lincoln once listened
patiently while friend read a manu-
script to him, and who then asked,
"What do you think of it? How
will it take ?" The President re.
fected a little while, and then an
swered, "Well, for people who like
that kind of a thing think that it is
just about the kind of thing they'd
like"
Mr.. Van Duffy is bachelor, resid
ing at San Jose, California, with
whom his married sister left her baby
for few hours. He had hard work
amusing the child, aud at length hit
upon the expedient of tying it to one
end of long pole and holding it up
to a tree, where it could suck the
plums as they hung on the branches.
The infant died from swallowing the
stones, and itsinventive uncle is being
prosecuted for malicious mischief.
A correspondent of the Neilgherry
Excelsior tells of a tiger cub which is
in the habit of smoking up all his
masters cigar stumps. He secures
these luxurious bits as they are
thrown away, and after his master
has gone to bed "gets light" from
the kitchen, and enjoys quiet
smoke every night. "Mehemet ALL"
he says, '.used to have tame animal
of irascible species, to which he reg
ularIy handed over his hookah after
enjoying his own after dinner soda.
tive. The animal waited patiently
for his turn, and then pulled away.
Scene: A jury room in Milwau-
kee, jury assembled, door locked,
everything awfully, profoundly Sc
cret. "Gentlemen," said the foreman,
"vou will now prepare your ballots
for the verdict The ballots are
cast and counted. Gentlemen" scon-
tinues the foreman, II find eleven
votes for the plaintiff and one for the
defendant; who is the gentleman
that voted for the defendant ?" No
answer. The foreman takes the bal
lot in hand and asks each man it he
deposited that paper. Ten answer
''non and the eleventh says: 80, dot
: 10. i 1, 49,, I MT In Int dot man he