Daily Los Angeles herald., 1879-03-09

and irresistible desire to get away |
from my best and most loving |
friends. Twas in Washington,in in Il Q |
Department, under Secrets-
ry Hart, and all at once 1 found my.
self away on the plains, almost |
destitute, en- route for Montana. In
that Territory l wrought hard for
gold and found rome. After two
years | made my way to Califor-
MIA, where lave remained since,
excepting n few mouths OF the
time. thought 1 was getting
better. l was made Secretary of the
North Star mine, In Grass Valley,
California, under Dudley Hoyt, in
1868. All at once 1 found myself
going away from my friends again,
impelled by power that was ire.
sistible. l then took to the pur-
suit of teaching school. The mala-
dy showed itself to me again, as
the good people of Yolo, San Luis
Obispo and Sacramento counties,
California, can attest. 1t has never
led me into crime. 1t would SIM
ply impel me to get away from
those that loved me. 1 haye often
found myself walking in wilder.
ness, not knowing whittier was
going. But l WAS still cunning
enough to find out the direction L
was going without betraying
MY GREAT SECRET.
knew / was crazy-that l was
afflicted with mental alteration.
Four years ago / thought 1 was
cured of my malady, so long time
having elapsed since the commis-
sion of any act that would betray
the symptom. / then married a
woman worthy to be placed on the
very pedestal of human excellence;
she was ell 1 desired; she filled the
whole measure of my soul. My
young mother-wife to-day is look
ing through tears for the return of
him whose caresses she has enjoyed,
but who can never, never embrace
her again. God forgive me! 1
feel that am about to take leap
into the beyond that awaits US all
into the great mystery of mysteries,
eternity. Do you think l fear?
Last November the malady as
sumed another form. I became
possessed of an impulse to kill my
friends. 1 could hardly resist an
opportunity to murder. The desire
would last only for moment and
then pass away. When this new
form of the disease appeared, !
was farming and teaching in
Solano county, California, where
my family resided. An infant was
born to us two months ago. 1
loved it; was proud of ii; yet when
1t first looked upon me the desire
seized me TO prey upon its young
life. 1 die that others may live.
Do fear to die? No; feeling as 1
do, that if 1 live others may die by
my hand. lay down my life with
the fortltude Of Christian martyr.
/ have struggled for months to keep
my hands off my best friends. God
knows 1 don't wish to have the
blood of any fellow-creature on
my hands. l would rather inf1ict
self-punishment than ipjure any
human being. have not an enemy
on the broad earth. / am widely
known, and do not think the man
is living who can say i'll of me
truthfuily. l have
RESOLVED UPON SELF DEsTRUC.
TION,
Aud long before this reaches the
Pacific Coast I shall have forded
the stream of time and been re-
solved into the elements. 60 back
to nature, to the great God whose
hand gave me TO the universe. l
go not as the quarry slave at night,
scourged to his dungeon, but rath-
er as one who Is willing to lay his
life down for another. "He giveth
his beloved sleep" 1 court that
sleep; it is my thought, day and
night, to sink into that slumber
that shall know no waking.
Should 1 not rather take my own
life than that of my wife or child?
The nearest to me are the very
ones I seek to destroy, under the
strange influence of my maiady.
My life has been largely spent
among the tombs, and that is why
1 want to go out among them. L
die amidst funeral piles and flow.
ers. 1 wanted to give my body to
the fishes instead of the worms, but
am too weary to go to the river.
1 die in cemetery, where the
keepers will see that my pockets
are rot rihed. L want this paper
to reach the press of New Orleans,
and I ask their kindness toward
one too weak to live.
Yours in eternity, HOOD.
LATER.-I would not commit the |
deed in the cemetery, considering
that it would be sacrilegious. I
have come to Bay st. Louis, where
my body will be found under an
evergreen. Farewell.
HOOD ALsToN,
Of San Francisco, Cal.