The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1879-04-16
CLIPPINGS.
IwANT to be an angel,
And with the angels stand;
Or sit between two school marms
And hold them by the hand.
-Winstead Literary Society

DID yon ever hear carpenter plane the
piano?-Graphic.
DON'T use bookworm when you go to bait
a trout line.-New York News.
If you want to find a ive-eent counter, ex-
anime your boots.-Boston Post.
THE Chicago Times has new title for con-
fagrations. It calls them "Hot Happenings"
EGGS are getting SO low in price hens don't
care a dime whether they lay or not.-Lebanon
Weekly.
THE ballot-stuffer followed the widows ex-
ample, by putting in all that he had.-Boston
Transcript.
TIE Waterloo Observer say sit is the bag
gage master who ought to be checked, and not
the baggage.
If Americans go to Pekin, China, why should
John Chin aman not come to peek in America.
Boston Transcript.
Boston now exports canned fish ball to the
Sandwich Islands. 1t is canny-ban food
Philadelphia Bulletin.
A BAD brother up town calls his sister, who
practices good deal on the piano, regular
pianeer-Steubenville Herald.
LISTEN to the mocking bird shouting at the
lonely Waterman and making mellow-day the
long night through.-New Orleans Plcayune.
Poor and hard worked horses must eat their
meals whenever and wherever they can, but
d'oat.-New York Mail. e
uPERHAPs the cook who presided in Moses
kitchen had good many relatives, which ac-
counts for the missed stakes of Moses.-Cin-
cinnati Saturday Night.
PHILOSOPHERS tell us never to be in hurry
except when catching a flea. In that case you
have to be in a hurry, because the flea usually
is.-San francisco Wasp.
THE trouble witt, this country just at present
10
with rich mems desires and poor mems
pockets.-Waterloo Observer.
A LACKADA1sIcAL lady writes to Chicago
paper about tramps, but she calls them
t'wa1fs." All! what are the wild waits saying,
sister, to thee?-Herald P. 1. Man.
WE believe this will be very poor circus
year. We haven't seen a single account of a
lion or tiger breaking loose and eating up four
horses and plumber.-Fpee Press.
GEORGE WASHINGTON, although first in war,
first in peace, and first in the hearts of his
countrymen, was never first In a pedestrian
Philadelphia Chronicle.
BUTCHER-Some Democrat thief has stolen
half a hog. Citizen-Why Democrat?
Butcher-Because, If he'd been a Republican
he'd stolen the whole of it.-American Punch
A CHINAAAN who does not wear pigtar is
looked upon with suspicion. by his fellow
countrymen. They consider him sort of dead
beat, and say,"No queuer, no pay."-Rome
Sentinel.
How customs change! Now mans hair is
cropped close when sent to prison. In former
times they gave him liberty to let his hair
grow, and his thumbs-grew, toQ-Boston
Transcript.
A CUBIC foot of alcohol weighs 1913 ounces,
while the same quantity of water weighs 900
ounces. Alcohol being the lighter it flies to
your head. Cut this out and paste 1t on your
acknowledgements Enquirer.
In meeting some men the necktie is the
first thing that attracts the attention, while
with others you can't for the life of you re-
member what kind of tie they wore. Some
times the man outshines the necktie.-Roch-
ester Express.
No FIBsT-cLAss reporter will ever forget to
add at the end of an unsuccessful burglary
item that the fellows overlooked q box con-
tanning 81 900 in cash. This always makes the
burglars mad enough to shoot themselves
Detroit Free Press.
SATAN trembles when he sees the weakest
saint upon his knees And how the old fire
men must tremble during house cleaning
days. BEST thought when nursing raw shins
after putting down two or three carpets
Boston Transcript.
BAYARD TAYLOR walked all over Europe. bui
he never made anything out of the "gatt
money" and SO he died IN poverty and was
buried a few days ago, just about the time thai
brilliant genius was making $4,000 by
right use OF his legs.-Boston Pilot.
IT is entertaining to note the variety o.
opinion that prevails regarding perfect happi
ness. The printer, for instance, imagines
that the millennium means time when az
win get 50 cents per COO ems, and bedstead
stats will be used instead Of leads.-St. Loui.
Times-Jonrnal.
IN.consequence of the threatened trouble In
Alaska, the United States army Is being rap
Idly put on war footing. Two more soldier
have reported for duty at San Francisco, and
man in the hospital with q sore leg win b,
ready for business in less than fortnight
Waterloo Observer.