The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1879-01-16
STANDARD PARAGRAPHS.

the demands OF tfaue.
Yakoob Kahn stoutly maintains that
his ancestors came from Ohio.
The Berlin Mission is still mystery
Perhaps Dalzell is on still hunt.
1t begins to look as though the hang
men will work on full time this year.
Now if Butler could only be induced to
bottle up the Potter Committee
Grant couldn't draw well at Cork, not
wlthstanding the stories his enemies tell.
The Democracy look upon the 0th OF
January meeting as sort Of reveling OF
the Saints
President Hayes says that death alone
will change his Cabinet. Death will
please take notice.
The kind of weather we have had for
some days makes one want to go North,
in search of milder climate.
Usually men die but once, but we
knew an old bachelor to dye at least fifty
times in one year.
This is fine weather for the economic
man. The perspiration does not destroy
his paper collars.
Several public men in Washington are
i'll. The city is a very unhealthy place.
Ohio men will please take notice.
Evil communications corrupt good
morals" That means communications
written on both sides of the paper.
Now the fat-money man has the
effrontery to tell US that the rag baby Is
worth its weight in gold
Gen. Butler says there was bull-dozing
in Massachusetts,. Is it possible that
Massachusetts, and South Carolina are
again arm in arm
1t is now reported that w. II. Wander
bilt's personal property would not pay
his debts. Accept our sympathies,
William
A Pennsylvania man has become so
wrapped up in oil speculations that when
you ask him about the health of his
family, he answers coil well p
1t is positively asserted that Tilden's
letter to the Young Mems Democratic
Club, of Columbus, was not written in
cipher.
Shere Ali has three b undred and sixty
wives. What's the use to say Shere Ali,
uhao he hot ole
at his hair?
Isn't it about time that old Kaiser
Williams arm was getting we'll? The
latest dispatches state that he is still
carrying it in sling.
A New York divine says that Beecher
is in deadly conflict with the Holy
Ghost" This is terrible, if true. We
haven't yet learned how the pools are
selling.
We are still occasionally informed that
"the Potter Committee met to-day
When the Committee develops some
thing we shall haste to inform our
readers.
Now the Government is going to sup
press polygamy in Utah. 1t is more than
probable. that when the Saint discovers
an attempt to take five-sixths of his wife
from him, there will be a row.
They get news slowly over in Ken
lucky. Senator Beck has gone on to
Washington, and pitched into Sherman's
attempt at resumption. Meanwhile, re-
sumption continues to resume.
The great Republican statesmen Of
Ohio are just now declining to run for
the Governorship. True, none of them
have been asked to run, but it is better
to decline early.
One of the most trying moments to a
poor mortal, is when he hears a nice
young man passing along the street,
footing on brass horn, and it is too
dark to find a brick-bat
Allen O. Myers, of the Columbus Dem
ocrat, got new suit, a few days ago. 1t
was furnished by Taylor from Pitts
burgh, and is said to have been an excel
lent fit-especially about the throat
Benjamin Hunter. just before being
hung in Camden New Jersey, said II
am going home. Ny hope is in Jesus !"
Benjamin was doubtless sorry that the
man he murdered couldn't be saved.
also.
'Tis said that the materialized spirit of
"Old Hickory" appeared at the Columbus
banquet, and when asked if it had any
thing to say, looked about the room, and,
in sepulchral tones exclaimed "By G.,
sir, I'm glad that I died !''
When it was-announced in the Metho-
dist Conference, in Charleston, that Wade
Hampton was out of danger, the minis
ters all arose and sang Praise God. from
whom all blessings flow" An enthusias
tic Democrat in the house yelled "But
damn a mule |"
Wag, in company: What could have
made that portly, red-faced man over
there SO extremely bald2 ?"
Young friend: Look at his nose, and
You'll see the cause"
Wag: "Oh, l see! A sort of rye-bald
ry."
Smith: II say, Brown. why did you
quit going with Miss J--?"
Brown "Oh, little falling out"
How was it p
"Why, the old man, her father, sort O
run agin me, like, and l fell out O. the
front door. Let's go and have o cigar r