Connecticut western news., 1879-06-11
WIT AND WISDOM.

-Frailty, thy name is Savings Bank.
 Sharp practice-learning to strap razor.
 All town pumps are popular watering places.
 Iowa pound keepers arc called "hog bouncers.
 -" Mankind" said preacher, {" iu- cludes women; for man embraces wo- man."
 Half the inhabitants of Ru ,sia ara at present engaged in secretly watching the other half.
 A railroad eating g-house is kept on the you-rope-in plan, where they beat gong twenty minutes for refreshments.
 Frequent disappointments teach us to mist1ust our own inclinations, and shrink even from VOWS our heart may prompt.
 A man has to be awfully, awfully rich, in this country, before he ii able to get along without owning or rayipg any taxes on personal property.
 If speech is silver, then the floors of the Senate aud House ought to be knee-deep in trade dollars, halves, quar- ters, dimes and half dimes.
 A Cincinnati reporter has distin- guished himself by publishing the names of pretty babies taken out to an airing, through inquiries made of their nurses.
 About the guiltiest-looking people in this world are man accused of a crime of which he is innocent, and a .zvwly y-rnurrtuu uuupfo trytru,- t0 r-.--, ~ veterans.
 Calvary alone was high enough to be the pedestal upon which the ideal hero of humanity could stand and be seen by all, while none others codld rise above Him.
 -" Brilliant and impulsive people" said lecturer on physiognomy, "hsve black eyes, or if they don't have 'em they're apt to get 'em, if they're too im- pulsive."
 Times of general calamity and con- fusion have ever been productive of the greatest minds. The purest ore comes from the hottest furnace the brightest flash from the darkest cloud.
 That which is called good company has led many man to place which it is not considered decorous to mention before Gears polite" is common, and. therefore, the more an awful truth.
 Little fve-year-old-"eV Where are you going in such hurry, MT. Brown" MT. Brown-"To the Bench Show, my boy" "Oh, yes; papa said yesterday you were going to the dogs as fast as you could."
 A writer on archery says: " A lady walking through the fields or on un- frequented roads is we'll prorected if she be an expert archer, for thirty-pound bow will put an arrow through the stoutest tramp"
 A young man went into horists store the other day to buy rosebud for his affiauced. Seventy-fve cents was the price asked "Will it. keepP" in quired the young man. "Oh, yes, . long while." "Then you may keep it." A Bloomington man, the Progress says, who has been investing in the New York "puts and calls, says that they call " for your money and "put ' it into their pockets. They have put about al of his away. All men and women are verify, as Shakespeare has said of them, merely i players, when we see them upon the stage of the world-that is, when they are seen anywhere except in the freedom and unaddressed intimacyof private life.
 The tramp's last dodge is to ask ,, your advice about going to the next town, and when you warmly advise him to go, he says he has much confidence in your , good judgment and will emigrate further on at once. "But, he adds, "wouldn'l you advise me to borrow ten cents be. fore startp"
 f -" How are you getting along since your marriage ?" asked one friend of an.
 other. "Not very we'll, !" was the reply
 "When she gave me her hand little over year ago it filled me with delight,
 but when she gives it to me now 1t does Q not delight me in the least" n A gentleman passing across the play @ ground of public school was affronted
 by the boys, who was obliged to com
 plain to the principal, which he did d thus: "I have been abused by soms o rascals of this place, and have come tx !, acquaint you of it, as I understand yov u are the principal" I The young woman who made thu y following remark, says the Kingstol l. Freema,s, is the same young house 3, keeper who asked for the soap whel d about to wash the lettuce: Wha 3. miserable little eggs again | Take Zen s, out. Jane, and lot the hen set Qp 'en