The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1879-05-06
THE PIOUS DODGE.
Praying Peddlers and Shoddy
Goods.
How the Farmers Of Saline were
Taken In.

| x0koU H.
Shakespeare talks about stealing the
livery of heaven to serve the devil in, which
shows that even in his day hypOcrit-s
abounded, and our own observation re.
veals the fact that they have in NO wise
decreased in the present age. The art Of
swindling has progressed a. much ss any
other, and there is a. mnch If not more in
genuity and rsscality evincei in accom-
plishine it as there is in any honest voca-
ton. But
THE sH aRPEsT TRICK
that has lately come to light, is the one
that has been successfully played in the
country in the neighborhood OF Browns
vile.
A short time ago two slick, sanctimon-
ious looking individuals. with we'll loaded
wagons made their appearance in the above
vicinity, and invariably stopped At the
house of some well-tO-do farmer, whose
name and note were both good. They
would drive up, enter the house, and by
their oleaginous gift of CAB soon make
themselves at home with tue whole family.
They would praise the children. compli-
ment the mother. and Aatter the father
into complacency in spite Of himself.
II il said that happiness consists OF
perfect scquiescence to surrounding circum-
stances, and judging from these fellows
success, there must have been happy LOT
of farmers around Brownsville-for short
time.
THEY WERE PIoUs MEN,
! these two, and their demeanor was as
grave ~ the face Of a stopped clock. II
they we're invited to dinner, they would
unroll an extension table grace. and after
it unwrsp thanks with a string Of pious graf
itude % long as panorama OF the Holy
Land. And then.they would get down to
business.
You see they had an immense amount
of goods in their wagons, just such as were
had bolts upon bolts Of imported cloth
which they had bought at an immense sac
ri6ce, because it WAS from . cargo Of snug
gler's goods con6scated by the government
and sold At public auction. They also had
dress patterns of every description, import
ed shavls, hosiery. table cloths. sheeting
ETC., for the ladies.
Would the farmer like 10 see them?
Ammo" the farmer would hesitatingly
say, while his wife's eyes pleadingly said
yes"
Before either of them could answer, in
would come four or Eve big trunks, but be-
fore they would be opened, down these
pious roosten would Hop on
THEIR MARROW BONES,
and invoke the blessing of the Almighty
upoE that christian household. After
which out would come the goods.
These would be laid out in parcels Of
$50 worth. They were not allowed to
sell any less amount by the government,
you know-it would violate the revenue
lave! Well, they would pile up the bolts
of cloth until the parcels contained
the amount mentioned, according to their
estimate. The cloth was fine and glossy in
appearance, and the amount seemed huge
for the money.
But the sum was large one, the farmer
would think, and he did not like to spare
40 much mooey.
Then the pious peddlen would throw
in q couple of bright shawls, a
coraet, q box Of hosiery and gloves, and
then tell the granger that there was At least
$500 worth of goods. and enough to
LAST HB FAMILY FOR YEARS.
Wasn't it of the very best material and
of foreign manufacture?
And the women's eyes would sparkle a.
some "pure" gold rings and bracelets
would be added.
"Y.a-a-s know it is big bargain, but
the money! can't we'll afford 10 pay out
- much money just now" the farmer
would reply.
"Oh, never mind the money. We don't
care for the cash RICH: down." WA
the peddlers' answer. "You can just give
% yonr note for three, six. or twelve
months. and it will do just as we'll. For
We have IN immense stock east. and it will
take us . year to dispose of it. Then We
can come around, again and collect.
Another thing-we
| NEVER CHARGE INTEREST.
Our religious principles will not allow u-
to take il. So you can have the goods on
your own time. aud we will simply take
your note for $50.
They we're adroit rascals and good
judges of human nature. They knew that
the ssrest way to get the advantage Of
their fellow-men was apparently to pre-
sent their fellow-men an opportunity to
take the advantage o: them.
The result Of the business generally was
that the farmer would give them his prom
issory note Tor the CASH for three or six
months. Business being closed up sai,s-
factorily, down these pious cusses would
70 again upon their knees for some more
prayer, and when they left benediction
FOUR MILES SQUARE
would be laid over the happy household
BY these pereerins,ing gospel spilIers.
Thev nlaved their liffle pame Nth Oro.,
success, and left more piety and shoddy
in that neighborhood than was ever ground
out of consecrated rag mill. As soon as
they had sold out, these pious men went to
Brownsville and shaved the notes. As
| fhex visited only ouch farmere "a we're