davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1879-06-17
CANADA. i

n1octfnE of tho Presbyterian General Assem-.
bIy-State Ut the Observation-Disclosures
, 1879-06-17

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The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10

A country jurymap, held ON trial In
the County Court or Saturday, who
had fully expected the customary ed
lournment in time to catch the last
train for home, but who was detained
an hour later, in consequences of the
frothy eloquence of the defendants
counsel, suddenly grabbed the offending
lawyer by the collar with the savage
demand:
.'See here, yeu everlasting iaekass
DO you know the fix Tn inf'
''No, my dear sir. no, the astonished
lawyer replied "Pray-what-"
3.. What" thnndered the irate Jury
man. do you know what Mariar
said to me the last thing when left
home7"
3 i''N-n-n-no!'
gsss'No. We derned f;aoll of course YOU
don't, or you wonld have cut it short
long since.
'''She said to me, Remember, Viii
ham, court always adjourns Saturdays
ut three o'clock plenty of time for yoa
to catch the train. New mind, dsn't
yon dare to stay in Buffalo over Sun
day, and then come to. me with living
excuse. You hear mei'-Bu6aLo Star.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10

One time there was barber. And
one day feller he cum in the shop for
to sit shafed, and he handed the barber
a card which was wrote ON in this way:
'For my Hair-T Taller, clone, lard,
bergmot, pomatum, oil, tonnick, restor-
atifs, Pitchooly, gum, beeswhacks, kerr
riseen aud tar
"For my Face-Colec cream, cam rrice,
powder, ham fat, sof sope, glissern,
rooje nammel, giant cement and shoe
blackn.
For my Whiskers-sames for the
hair, only more taller.
For my Mushtach-Do, starch, glew,
morter and solder"
When the barber he red it he was
jest delited, and he said to the feller !:
s'You are the most sensible man wich
has ever set in this chair, yes, indeed,
Inever see man of sech good taste. !"
And then the barber shafed the fell
ler, and told him all the news wich he
could think, and never stopt tocSin, the
barber didn't while he shafed, cos he
was delited. But jest as he got dun
shafn the feller, and was gitten reddy
to put them things onto him, corden to
the memmy randeni, man wocked in
and took the feller by the ear, and he
said to the barber, the man did, ''This
fellers got to so now, bos, he is es-
cape; if you want to finish him you
mus fetch them things over to the def
and dun ward of the lunatic asylum. !"
Little Johnny.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10
Az AnrsnSG AND UsErUL ISvENrIox.

The French had on exhibition aE the
Paris Exhibition during the summer,
a curious and amusing invention in the
form Of garden sprinkler. 1t stands
on tripod, and the discharge pipe has
several twists. The water issues from
it in spray, and its force as projected
through the crooked nozel causes the
entire apparatus to walk ahead on its
three legs, dragging the hose after it.
1t resembles some strange, decapitat-
ed monster, with long crooked neck,
spohting water instead of blood. 1t
hops, jumps straight up and down in u
most cumbersome, unwieldly manner.
1t seems to be in misery because it can
not get along faster, and drag its long
water distended tail after it. It CON
trives, however, at least to sprinkle
considerable gronnd ahead, before and
on either side with no other assistance
than its clumsy locomotion. While
thus employed thousands of visitors
stand about watching its erratic move
ments, and the sum total Of amuse-
ments gained thereby is as much as
would result from screaming farce"
Indeed its operation prOyokes a smile
from the soberest faces. 1t seems SO
much like something alive, and in 80
much dumb distress that it cannot get
along faster.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10
lFroin the .. :. Journal of Commercial
TIE GREAT PANIC ~ GREAT RRITArx

There is Lnrd winter before III.
poor Of Great Britain. Thousands-
tens Of thoHsands-will be out Of worl,
and without means inetbe midst Of ths
seasons frost and snow. EVERYWHERE
the authorities are preparing to NEE,
the emergency. The widespread idis
tress IL due partly to the industrial de.
preston felt during the past couple 81
years. England is beginning 70 feel
the competition with other nations, and
large numbers Of her children are
without employment and without bread.
but though there is q good deal in this
view OF the matter, it will be found
that the immediate cause Of the great
ditreas was the failure Of tile GLASGOW
Bank. One Of the greatest institu-
tIons IN Great Britain. jim the world.
the fall Of this mighty corporation has,
TO British financial affairs, been like the
fall Of Goliath to the arms Of the Phil
istines.
II is AZ If tile foundations were torn
from the ediGce of British credit-Brifl
ish finance. Its fall has becn followed
ny scores OF failures. involving b,si.
ness aud business interest. far and
wide. IL has dragged down $50 firms
who owe in the aggregate one bnndr4,
amd tweht-iiVc millions Of dollars, and
others are TO come. The value Of bank
shares dcpreciated To the extent of
ninety three millions Of dollars he.
tween Oct lat aud Nov. 20th. The
liabilities Of the Glascow BanI, have
proved to lbs sixty millions Of dollars.
and not less than thirty-fve millions of
dollars will be required TO make uv the
deficits. All this will have to be made
up by the shareholders, and it win take
years TO do il.
The failures that have followed .u,,.
on that Of the great bank are absolutely
gigantic, and amount in the aggregate
to over $I5O,000,o0O.
Nothing in the United States has
ever been found to equal this OF the
bankrnpts above noted the partners
had drawn on their private account
s975,215 in eight years-one of them
drawing not less than S772,O95. An
astonishing amount of commercial rot
tenness has been developed in connec-
ton with these failures. It seems as
If the bad morality Of the bankers
was reflected in the merchants count
ing houses. What the ultimate issue
OF all this may be, no man may tell.
but certain it is that bad times are IN
,tore for Great Britain.
One lesson can be drawn from this
that should not he lost ON eur people.
Had there been governmental exam
ination of the banks these GLASGOW
Bank directors could never have done
the deeds which have brought ruin aud
destruction on their institution. Onr
commercial banks object TO such an in.
spection, but SO far rs we can see. with
out any just cause. Such inspections
are necessary for the safety of the COM
mercial community, as the fate of the
Glascow Bank. its depositors and al
lied interests, bear but too painful wit
ness.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10


The indoor amusements of winter,
however, are those which render this
season the most agreeable Of the year.
The happy winter evenings which we
spent In former years are remembered
with most pleasure even to the close of
life, Everyone can recount the pleas
ures enjoyed in past winters; and the
evenings of the present winter should
be 50 spent as to lay up store Of
pleasant memories for years to come.
Let no youthful sport be omitted no
harmless amusement checked harshly
or needlessly. Reading, too, should be
pursued as an amusement, and not
pushed aside as laborieus task. 1t
ought to rank as the highest, purest
and most lasting of all amusements
While political, scientific and religious
newspapers, magazines and books are
read for information, the family story
paper, the child's story book, and other
publications designed to combine in
struction with amusement, to make the
old forget the sorrows Of age. to teach
the youth the pleasures of wisdom,
should take their place as the best ticom-
panions for the freside during the long
evenings of winter. n
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10
HEALTH HINTS.

Half cranberry bound on q corn
will soon kill it.
Three drops Of carbolic acid in ten
spoonful Of water applied to corn q
few times will cure it.
Erysipelas is said to be cured by ap-
plying to the part affected paste made
Of raw ctanberries beaten.
A simple and effective remedy for
dyspepsia is to abstain from drinking
immediately before and after meals,
and for an hour afterward
To remove pirl-worms in the face,
place over the black spot the hollow
end Of a watcli-key, and press firmly.
This forces the foreign substance out,
10 that it may be brushed off, and is
cure.
The British Royal Society has made
Researches extending over period Of
more than two hundred years, and
failed TO discover single case Of sud
den change in the coler of the hair.
This spoiis whole pages Of poems, nov
els and newspaper items.
To.remove sPecks Of dirt from the
eye, immerse the eye in cool water
then wink and roll the eycbalI until
the desired result is accomplished.
A good salve for burns, bruises, etc,
can be made by taking very strong
lime-wnter and lard; boil some time;
pour of water; add new lime-water
boil again until very strong Of lime;
some linseed oil would be good addi-
ton TO II.
In performing housework the hands
are frequently put into both hOt and
cold water. To prevent unpleasant
effects upon the skin, use few drops
of glycerine frequently in wiping the
hands, and IL will restore the soft. nat
ural texture 20 the skin
The Herald Of Health cautions par
ents not to allow their children to be
walked up in the morning. Let. nature
wake them; she viii not do It prema-
turely. Take care that they 90 to bed
at an early hour-let it be earlier and
earlier, until it is found that they wake
up themselves in full time to dress for
breakfast
Wraps.-Every one must remark
that faverite article of winter cloth
ing for children is a comforter swathed
around the neck This Is a great error:
the feet and waists are the proper men,
bers to keep warm; the face and throat
will harden into healthy Indifference To
cold; but that muller exchanged for
an extra pair of thick socks and knit
ted gloves, wonld preserve a boy or
girl really warm and well. Bronchitis
and sore throat have declined fifty per
cent. since the absurd use of high col
lars and twice-round neckerchiefs vent
out of fashion; and if the poor would
take better care Of their children's feet
half the infantile morality would disap-
pear. 1t only costs a trihe to put
a piece of thick felt or cork into the
bottom of boot or shoe, but the diff
ference Is often considerable between
that and doctors bill. with, perhaps,
the undertaker's beside.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10
Our POPULATION.

Estimates of the population of the
country in 1880 are now in order. In
lS4o,our population was hut Il 90, 900;
now it is nearer to 50,00O,000 than
40,000,000. Mr.. Elliot, of the Buerau
of Statistics, estimat ed our population
in 1878, at 47,9S3,000 and in 1880 at
50,S5S,000. Gen. Walker, Superin-
tendent of the Census of 1870, places
the probable population of 1880 as be-
tween 46,000,000 and As, ,000.O 900, with
a preference for the higher figures. In
1870, the United States had popula-
ton of but IL to the square mile,
while Belgium had 45O, England 400,
India 307. China but 40. In 1870
Massachusetts, had 2l2 inhabitants to
the square mile. The wheat crop of
1870 was but "a, ,0OO,000 bushels. the
corn crop SSS,000,OOO; that OF 1878
reached 400,OO0,O0O wheat, and ], ,40O,-
100000 of corn.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10
MEXICAN
Mustang Liniment,
FOR MAN AND BEAST.

This lnimrn cry naturally orig ginal,sl 3n Anrrt.
"a. Nshere Natgre provides Ia her il'Airls, such
surprising autidotes Tor the maladies ~ h,r eli.
dren. Its fame has lzcH spreading fus e. YEAR
until now Ii ct'circles5 s.tc hahitat,lc gia.-..
Thc Mexican a:ys..sass IlaIElcai Is "a isatrIi,7..
remedy sa'lcx;c.;ial ailments nf ran aii,i l,s.
To stock owners End farmers Il l. ins sainat,lc.
\ single bottle often savca n human Ilse or ~
storcS tho usefulness of an exeeirns horse. OK
Cow. or sheep.
IL esres footrot kosf,aiI. hollow horn. grub.
sFcv worm, shoulder--ot, iaangc. the bites .sa
Etins of poisonous rcfs:!g aad laseets AMI every
such draw ilc,s 20 stock brcc!u,s aad bush ifr
Il curcs every cSscrn-i trosihlr II 4ar~cs ruca
as lai-1eae. r-:tc.cs. asF.luy. suran~, fuun,irr.
wind SAL, r,:;-s. oo,se. C-c.. etc.
Tho lc=.S-sl .-:t5:aas i.slinent "a the qulek,.:
cure In tho HUr:I for accidents occurring IL, 10,
family, IN the abaCaee OF y physician. Ss,ii -
burzS sealds, EpF.la cuts. etc. and for FhCania-
tis-n. and ssi:.aesS c.sscadcrcd by exposure. Ia-
ticularly valu=S!o 20 Miners.
II Ia the CHEAPEST rcgaciy ga tho world for s:
penetraics the Il;zc,o TO the hons. asd . single
application Is Ecaeraliy sufficient 10 cGrr.
Aexican Mustang lIn.mcni Is pnE up S. three
si1es OF bottles the larger being pr.t-nrtlon
sssay much the CHEAPEST Sold everywhere.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10
Hts REASON.

A negro minister, who married
rather sooner after the death of his
wife than some of the sisters thought
proper and becoming, excused himself
as follows; "My dear bredern and
sisters, my grief was greater than I
could bear. | turned every way for
peace and comfort, but none came. /
searched de Scriptures from Genisee to
Retaliation and found plenty Of prom
ises to the widder, but nary one to the
widderer. So took it dat de Lord
didn't waste sympathy on man when
it was in his power to do it hisself
and habin' fuss rate chance to marry
in de lord, | did SO, and would do SO
again. Besides, bredern, / consider
dat poor Betsey was just as dead as she
would ever be"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10

RELIABLE authority informs us that
the production of wheat is steadily ON
the decline in England, although in
that country the production of grain is
next in Importance to the raising Of
meat. The declinement is that of area
and not in the quality produced per
acre. The yield has been increased
from one TO one and half bushels.
within the present generation, and five
bushels within one hundred years past.
The yield is now estimated at IS bush
els per acre, and it viii probably be
pushed up to 30 bushels per acre, for
the English farmers are exceedingly
painstaking and doctor their land so as
to get the most possible out of it.-Ee-
change
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10
CHARLES ROSS.


New York, Dee. l..-Dr. Mary
Walker comes 70 the froAt with the
latest ''true version" of the Charlie
Ross story. She says that when le
disappeared she hastcned to his parents
and gave them not only condolence but
also money and her personal efforts to
fathom the mystery. She lived in the
family for some time. Shs stumbled
across bit of information which led
her to believe that all was not right,
and she finally discovered that Charities
father had put the little boy out to
board with family who were in the
conspiracy. She says shedid not expose
the fraud, beeause it took her many
months to find out where the boy wa
kept. She Claims that Ross has made
n large sum of money out of the sympa-
thies of the public, and that he has of.
fered to pay her handsomely If She
would keep her knowledge TO herself.
The boy would have been discovered
long ago, and, indeed, arrangements
were Snce made to have the child found
at st, Adams, VT, but it was knownI
that she wonld expose the farce, and so
he has been kept secluded. She says
that within three weeks she has seen
and spoken with the child, and that she
is acquainted with his entire history
since the supposed abduction. She will
publish a book in two or three. weeks
containing complete story of what she
claims to be the greatest hoax ever per-
petrated upon the American people. A
good many people have given consider
able credence to DR.. Mary's story, while
others think it a shrewd device Tor rails
ing the wind il a Forthcoming. literary
effort.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10

In 1864 the farmer had to pay 90
cents per pound for his sugar, to-day
the same amount may be boughE for
less than half that sum-. If his wife need
ed new calico dress it required 40
cents to buy yard, to-day it requires
but six. Delains have fallen from 40
to 10, ginghams from 40 to 8, checks
from 90 to Is, Canton fannels from %
to 8, bleached muslin from So to u,
brown muslins from 55 to s. These
are only a few items in long list. OF
course the produce which farmers raise
has fallen too, but not to such an extent
as those articles which they have to buy.
= EGehaaaqe.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10

8 SWELL. Sambo, what's yer up to
newadaysl' 80, I is .carpinter an
jiner." "Hel guess yer is. What
department. do you performg" 'sWhat
department. Why, does de circular.
work. ssNhat's dat4'' aWhy, I turn
de grindstone. "
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10
Whiskies, French Brandies, Sherry,
Port, ClaPet, and all other kinds
Of wines, Gin, Ale, Beer,
and Porter.
Bitters of every kind, and the best
brands Of tobacco and Cigars.

g2-I want everybody to understand that
have opened out a first-class new liq-
uor store, where city and country deal
ers can procure their stocks at Portland
prices, with only FREIGHT added.
Rooms on the corner of Front and Ferry
Streets, Albany, Oregon. 2sK.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10

Gen. Beauregard has been appointed
adjant general of Louisiana BY Gov.
Nichols.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10
RATES or ADVERTISING.

Business notices in the Local Cobunnns
20 cents per line.
For legal and transient advertisements
81 90 per square, for the first insertion, and
30 cents per square for each subsequent in.
serticn.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-01-10

aan make money faster at work for US than at any
" thing else. Capital not required we will start
YOU sl2 day at home made by the industrious
Men, wolnen boys and girls wanted everywhere to
work tor us. Now Is the time. Costly outfit and
terms free. Address TRgx & CO. R~-lsnd EIains
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1879-05-21
How He Came 10 Do II.

The following is Robert Burdette's
account of the way he came tolec-
ture: "Mrs. Burdette prompted me to
it. One day when she was lying
helpless she said she believed that if
those fellows could make money /
could. And so she sat me down to
write that lecture and from time
to time / rebelled with tears and
groans and prayers. ] told her 4 was
too littlej that I had no voice; that /
couldn't write funny, lecture any
how. She kept me at it, ,iand in due
time we had the lecture in our hands,
The Rise and Fall of the Mustache.'
That was all right enough;no how
to get the audience7 l thought l
would try it first at Keokuk. If l
delivered it first at Burlington, even
if it were tame, tanner, tamest, /
thought they might pat me on the
back. But keokuk hated Burling-
ton. / thought: If it's fiat the Keo-
kuk folks will tell me so. Mrs. Bur-
dette said that, as she was response
Bile for that lecture, she was going to
hear the first delivery. So l carried
her aboard the cars, we went down
to Keokuk and they pronounced it
good"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1879-05-21
The Jersey valnaiion o. Kisses.

e 4 J. . . q =
Notwithstanding fhe factsthat the
ice-cream and strawberry festivalsea-
son will soon be ushered in, 4 New
Jersey church congregation. at En-,
glewood has devised d new and very
taking scheme for raising funds
1t has many advantages over the old
grab bag and fair schemes, as it costs
nothing to get it up, and isboundin
time to wrench the last shekeloutof
every man in the community, if the
Sisters are endowed with proper
Christian fortitnde and have pbysi-
cal eAduyance 10 stanltit. TIE plan
.4sol. l0l' \ y
ing and hugging the Sisters A rate
ofcharges was fixed, which appears
to be very reasonable and just. Un.
til competition starts up, the figures
given, and which were here charged,
may be regarded as theruling prices
Of the market: Ten cents for kissing
a girl between Is and 90; Ave cents
extra for hugging. Five cents for
kissing girl between 20and 80; FIVE
cents extra for hugging. Over 80,
=. p
five cents all round. For kissing a
young widow, 25 cents; hugging, 10
centsextra. For kissing a married
lady, 50cents; hugging 25 cents ex,
ira. The new plan worked like a
charm. The revenues were large;
the sisters made supremely happy,
and although the young men in the
town over.exerted themselves and
were desperately wild, yet they are
not satisfied.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1879-05-21
1t Makes a Difference.

1t is singular how numerous man
will become if you owe him thirteen
dollars and twenty cents, and can't
pay him. You will meet him every.
where. He is awfully plenty. He
rises up before you in the most un-
expected places. You even go on a
back street and he is there. But
when he owes you eleven dollars and
eighty cents. and can't pay it, he be-
comes painfully scarce. He is. notat
home, at his place of business, or
anywhere. Where he was plenty
before he becomes very few, indeed.
Where do all the people go to any
way, that owe money? Nobody can
find them.-Psck'8 Sun.
1t isa great mistake tosuppose that
man is the only order Of creation that
is compelled to be economical and to
pay up what he owes. Every intel
ligent early riser has noticed that
even the grass of the field has some
thing that IS dew on it every morn.
ing, while the happy birds that aoat
in the air have their own little bills
to look aftsr as well as we.
"The moon is always Just the
same" he said, langaidly,. "and yet |
always find some new beauty in it, I"
"It's just SO with the circus" she
answered. He took the hint, and
bought tickets for two.
There is a beautiful precept which
he who has received an injury, or
thinks that he has, would for his own
sake do we'll to follow: excuse half
and forgive the rest"
---e------
An evil passion sinks us below The
level Of the brute. 1t was Rochefon.
cauld who said, "When our hatred is
violent it sinks us even beneath
those we hate"
1t was. of course on q. French
tombstone that the following inscrip-
.tion was discovered: "Tears cannot
restore my wife, therefore l weep
Old Gentleman; Waiter, how's
this2 These potatoes are quite hardl
Waiter with presence of mind;
Hard times you know, sir.