Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-06-25
4 Married Mans sIisery.

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leg and the leok of one who had suffer
ed long with the toothache, sat down
in the chair vacated by the boy, and a
smile of encouragement began:
'lf matters don't mend pretty soon
I'll either murder her or take my own
life.''
Domestic trouble, | suppose?"
querried Bijah.
That's it, sir; and I'm getting des-
perate. left home thinking I'd jump
from the dock; but happened to think
Of you, and so / thought ia ask ad-
vice.
lis the bread heavy:'
"Blast the bread, | can stand
heavy bread. sloppy tea, raw meat and
half-coOked potatoes, but / can't and
won't stand this internal whining,
complaining and jawing around.'
"Fellow-traveller along the tow-path
of Times broad gauge canal, think |
see the pint. You have been married
about two years?''
''Not quite"
You are fifteen years older than
your wife?'
'Yes-eighteen.'
You have a wooden leg and she
She
',She hasn't, but | wish she had two
of 'em.''
''She likes good clothes -
You bet.'
''She takes the mad whirl of society
SIC bOnnets, reserved seats at the
opera. IS boots, forty button kid gloves
and trains ou her dresses -
''She does-that's her TO dot - ex-
claimed the husband.
''And you prefer your hOme-eveH-
ing fire, newspaper, snow apples, game
of checkers, glass OF cider, cat on the
hearth, and so on:'
That's the sort o man l am, sir,
and she harasses me to death. She's on
the trot all day and on the CAD all ev-
ening, and if | demonstrate she saws |
want to make slave and prisoner of
her."
Don't you go along with her to the
theatre and parties:"
81 used to, but for the last year she's
got awful particular about my wooden
leg; says the public will think | was
shot while stealing chickens"
''Does, Ell: And you sit home and
keep your heels warm by the cook
stove while she gallivants 90
''The same, sir, and now what shall
| do about it:'' Something has got TO
be did, and that right on. I'll be
hanged to Davy Crockett if | put up
with it another day. You are an older
man than l am, and you've had three
wives 10 my one, and I'll do inst as you
say about it,"
''Fellow-man, you've been wrong
from the beginning" slowly answered
Bijah, as he looked out of the window
in a weary way. 1.-The man who mar
ries a woman only half his age is Il. f.
deceived fried cake at the start.
Youth may reverence old age, but love
A7AA L A1hNAtAANt. otAH anu tANl
don't like their taters cooked the same
way, and the man who says they do is
forger- They don't see alike, and it's
a eat and dog life. Then, again you
have a wooden leg, ana you should
have married a woman with a glass eye
or a broken nose as an offset. la that
case neither party has anything to twit
the other about. If 1 was to marry
again, bald-headed as | am, | should
look for lady wearing number ten
gloves, and number nine shoes as an
offset. DO you love your wife:''
well, to be honest about it, | don't
think either of us are dying of love-
Then NV friend you 30 home and
have candid talk, divide up the things
and part good friends. Give her the
largest half, throw in sCme small
change, and see that she gets safe home
to her mother. BY and by you can
quietly secure a bill of divorce. get on
some store clothes, and look out for a
woman of fifty who has the rheumatics
so that she can't gad.'
That's honest, Is it?''
"Honest Injun. If you can't live
happy together don't hesitate 10 live
happy apart. No use in any scandal or
hard words, but divide up and call it
bad mistake. This killing ones self on
account of domestic trouble is all bosh."
That's so, and I'll walk straight
home and begin the dividing up busi-
ness Thank you Bijah; may your
feet never stop growing as a reward
for this"
When he had departed Biiah took a
short cut through the alleys. and pres
emily gained position from whence he
could view the house where the man
lived. Developments did not tarry.
The husband had not been in the house
five minutes before he was suddenly
rushed out again, hat and cane flying,
and his share of the things, consisting
of three flat-irOns, kettle and two
bricks, overlook him before he could
dodge.
$50 young and artless," mused BIZ
jah, as he turned away; "and yet that
last brick thumped him between the
shoulders just as purity as if Ia thrown
it myself"
The Genesis of the Mosquito.