Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1879-06-14
SIHILISM IN RUSSIA.
Scene: At St. Petersburg.


dinarily expected of one in my position,
but can not be on watch all the twen-
ty-four hours to see that the Nihilists
don't stick revolutionary posters on the
front wall. I've gone eleven nights
without sleep now.
Proprietor-But,m my poor Ivan Ivan
0vitch, I did not make the law which
all owners of houses are obliged to
obey, providing for fine of 500 roubles
if q placard is posted up on the prem
Uses, and imprisonment if the offense is
repeated. Here, drink this coffee-it
will keep you awake. Tonight l will
90 on watch and You can get good
sleep.
Janitor-Thanks, my good master !;
your nobly considerate conduct lends
me renewed strength.
Gan hour later the janitor comes in to
breakfast.)
Proprietor-Great Todlebcn! where
have you been? Why, man, there is
revolutionary placard pasted on your
back,
Janitor-Is there? suppose l must
have closed my eyes for minute or
two. They have keen eye for bust
ness, those Nihilists. Let's tear it up.
Proprietor-No; don't tear it up, be-
cause some of the fragments might be
found, and we might be sent to Siberia.
Burn it up, coat and all-I'll give you q
new one. Now go back to your post,
and for the love of Heaven do not doze
a wink.
CThe janitor returns. The proprietor
watches him from the window, and,
whenever he mods, shouts, snow, then,
Ivan Ivanoyitch, keep awake!" In the
course of the long, long, weary day the
police arriye.l
Official-Wc have come to search the
premises.
Proprietor-But, Count, l belong to
no association. l am merely q peaceful
citizen who passes his days and nights
watching to see that his Waterman
doesn't fall asleep.
Gfficial-I have Gen. Gourko's orders
to enter your house and see that you
have no concealed arms.
Proprietor-All have is an old shot
gun without lock, stock, or barrel.
Ofiicial-The Nihilists could easily
furnish You those. Your shotgun is
contiscated, and you may thank your
lucky stars thst you get of SO easily.
What's in that drawer?
Proprietor-Knives.
Official-knives! confiscate them.
Proprietor-But, Prince, they are Ia
ble-kniyes, and tonight l give 3 dinner
party-my daughter is engaged to be
married, and this is TO celebrate her be-
trothal.
Ofiicial-You must eat with your fin
gers, that's all.
Proprietor But, Grand Duke, how
are we To carve the fowls?
Ofiicial-Tear 'em TO pieces, or bite
out chunks-it'll all be in the family
Where's your bedroom?
Proprietor-Here, your Imperial Ex-
cellercy, and if you find any deadly
weapon in it wan. to be sent to ST.
IBERIA.
Official might send you there if it
were worth the trouble, for here is
razor which, in the practiced hands of
a desperate man, might be used to Stay
the whole Imperial family. | will con-
fiscste the razor.
(The family dinner takes place,
though under disadvantages, and the
unhappy man forgets all the trials and
troubles of the day. At the dessert, just
as he is about to propose the health of
the soon 10 be welded pair, he receives |
q note couched in these terms):
You are a traitor, You have to-day given |
up 10 the tyrsnts the arms in your posses
sion. You have therefore been doomed TO
death by yours respectfully.
THE ENECUTIvE COMMITTEE,
per Tomski COllinsovitch.
Proprietor Gearing his hair)-There!
That's all that was lacking to make it
complete. Read that
His Future Son in law-You were
wrong, sir; there is Il good deal to be
aid on both sides.
Proprietor-Wrong! Was 4? Per-
INNS ,-nr, 70 a N-slil;ato l,ur;ah l;afor |