West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1879-04-12
WAITS AND WnIMS.

Ir il now IA crime in Colorado TO de-
face natural scenery with signs and
advertisements.
A MAN without character is IA un-
fortunate az Il Congressman without n
cork-scrcw.
A YOUNG lady in indianapolis won n
wager 10y not speaking for week.
There are not many such.
IT has been said that cOrl1-scrows have
sunk moro people than cork jackets have
ever saved.
A NOVELTY i'm stockings has n medal
lion of lace upon the instep, i'm which
the owners monogram is worked.
GERMAN tanners are clamoring for
protection because this country is out
selling them in their own markets.
:" DO not look gift horse in the
mouth" nor mule in the heel, nor n
bee in the humble.
TRUE wit can not come from the
mind that is incapable of entertaining
wisdom.
GREELEY Colorado, has signboards on
i's principal streets, reading: Twenty
one miles to the nearest saloon b"
A GRAvFDIGGER at Sherman, Texas,
sent in bill to Widow Button, reading,
"To making one Button hole, 50"
INDIANA contains n politician who
can talk the tongue out of jews
harp"
AN Augusta man has sold seven bush
els Of watermelon seed, at the rate of
thirty-two dollars bushel
The man who prepares his own tomb
stone and monument, can show to tho
world exactly what he thinks of him
self
IT il stated by medical writer that
camphor is an unfailing specific or
antidote for strychnine in the most ex-
treme cases
The amount Of arsenic imported into
this country in one year was 1927, ,742
pounds. Each pound contained poison
enough 20 kill 2, 500 human beings.
An Iowa horse has a nondescript gait
He simultaneously runs with his fore
legs and trots with his hind-legs, in a
way that astonishes the turfmen.
THE wine merchants Of Paris keep i'm
their employ n class Of men called
guardian angels" whose business it is
to escort home tipsy customers.
NEVER refuse to receive an apology.
You may not receive friendship, but
courtesy will require, when an apology
is offered, that you accept IT.
MILWAUKEE expects TO have, WI hin
year, the largest Touring mill the
world II will be Of one hundred un-
of-stones capacity.
THE man who says IL don't hurt 20
have q tooth filed is meaner than four
liars and hOrse-thief.--De DetrOt Free
Pres.
A New YORK. lithograph firm is get
ting out n d, sign for the heading OF a
divorce certificate. 1t represents Cupid
beating out his brains with a law book
A MAIDEN lady living at Limerick,
Maine, died recently of having fit, she
having had no less than fifteen hundred
during her lifetime.
OECE thcy started girls' seminary
in Utah IT hourished well but just
in the height Of its prosper ity, the pTin-
cipal eopcd with the whole school.
AS abundance Of peace shall be null
uplcd unto him who is in his secret
heart steadiastly resolved not TO suffer
from imaginary ills.
Terry do things in a hurry in Texas.
| a man who had lost a valuable mare
I recently received the following dis
I patch. Mare berei come get her;
\ thief hung"
SINCE Paris opened her frat horse
/ but, hery l32 l33 horses, 4 87O asses, and
. 2O3 mules have been eaten. I'm the
country they eat less OF such yIands.
ANrlTREATfNC societies are becom-
ing numerous and popular i'm the East
cru States The members sign - pledge
to thc effect trat they will neither treat
nor be treated.
SO great civilization Is possible TO
race, nor spiritual progress To- an indi-
yidual, where the power Of death 70
dissolve life isnot conquered ina thought
and feeling
KFEp HER.
a MAN down East thus poetically adj
vertises Dis wife
ora he .b % the month. on the night Of q Mon
uarei from Der husband ho wife Of John
ns rref iol her absence each day growing
should ahy one aad her, be bog. him to keep
her.
FRIED Liver is the name Of an Ari-
zona mining village.
THE city editor of the Des Moines
RCgider speaking from experience, says
that the beauty Of a young man.
] parting his hair in the middle is that
5 Il gives both ears an equal chance tc
flop"