The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1879-07-16
A Model NeWspaper.

settled herself down on One-halt of it.
At the next station fat young man,
wearing a linen suit and high hat, en-
tered the car and asked permission to
occupy the remaining half of Susan's
seat. The young lady smiled approv-
ingly and gave her consent. They were
both communicative, and before the
train had gone mile they were engaged
in an animated conversation. The
young man told her some strange things.
One bit of information, especially, filled
her with surprise. Her eyes flew wide
open and her mouth at the same time.
"Say, pop" she exclaimed, turning to
the old man in the seat behind, this is
areporter of the Shickshinny Thunder
bolt ~
"You don't say So" replied the old
man, putting on his spectacles to see
whether, being that peculiar parsonage,
he looked like an ordinary mortal.
Yes, sir" said the fat young man,
am connected with the best news
paper in the world-or perhaps you read
the ThunderboH2"
"No, he doesn't" Susan answered for
her father before that individual had
time to reply.
"Then you had better subscribe" >" re-
piled the reporter. "Only two dollars
a year; and any two numbers are worth
II of fthat."
"No, l guess not" came from the old
man.
"Oh, no." said the old lady, at the
same time shaking her head
1t is too DEAR" added Susan
You wouldn't say that if you knew
what an excellent paper it is. You
must remember that it is a humorous
paper and employs paragrapher-th
best in America. There are no lame
Jokes ever to be found in its columns.
Why, you ought to see the effect that
some of our paragraphs produce on our
compositors. When a joke is handed to
one OF them to "set up" he reads it, then
bends himself into q rainbow, holds his
sides and laughs. He then reads it to the
rest, and they all roll themselves on the
floor and laugh"
And doesn't the paragrapber, too.
laugh when he writes those funny
things?" inquired Susan.
Oh, no; paragraphers never laugh.
If they allowed themselves to do that.
| surrounded as they are, by so much
genuine humor, they would soon laugh
themselves to death. 1t is very difficult,
| however, for some of them to refrain
from laughing at all times. To enable
them to do so, they go to all the funerals
in the neighborhood and spend several
hours every day in the graveyard.
But" continued the fat young man,
"our paper is just as valuable for news.
We surpass, every other paper in the
rapldlty with which we gather up facts
and lay them before our readers. To ac-
complish this a reporter has been placed
on every street corner in town, and com
munication by telephone established be-
| tween him and the editor at work at the
printing office. When anything occurs,
| the telephone instantly conveys the par
tlculars from the reporter to the editor.
Let me give you an idea of the amazing
rapidity with which we do business.
The other day, just as we were going
to press, fire broke out quarter of n
mile from our printing office. The re-
porter stationed at that place saw the
| first appearance of the fire, and, at the
same instant, the following account of it
rung in the editors ears: 'Fire!-ten
o'clock-Third ward-J ohnson's wooden
mill-no insurance-incendiaryr
| Did you ever see a thunderbolt dart
| down from the clouds and strike hay
stack, or a bull, or anythingP"
| ooh, yes" answered the farmer.
well, went on the reporter. " inst
that fast the editor flew into the com
posing-room, yelling as he went: Fire
ten o'clock-Third ward-Johnson's
woolen mill-no insurance-incendi-
aryp
| " Eleven compOsitOrs had congregated
at the front window to see a fat woman
go by on the other side of the street. Al
the sound of the editors voice they
flew to their cases-on their way there
shocking down the foreman and the
devil, and treading them under foot
Each compositOr took one word, and
quicker than | can tell it, the whole ac.
count was in type-the type in the forms
the forms on the press-the press
started and papers sent out on The street
Our account informed the populace OF
the nre before an alarm of it had been
spread. There was soon the widest ex-
element throughout town. People
with paper in hand, were running 10
and fro, accosting those they met with
words like these: The paper here saw,
that fire is breaking out at Johnson.
woolen mill! There is no insurance
neither. declare, it's too badr. Ther
the fire bell was rung, and the fire com
pany hurried to the burning mill anC
arrived there us the fire was making ii.
first appearance, and before the hands il
the building knew there was any fire OF
the premises
Just then the train arrived at Quak
Junction, and the fat young man changed
cars.
Our rustic friends for some moment
sat speechless, looking at each other
Then the old lady broke the silence witt
these words:
"He lies. "-F N. G0tUalS, IN Norris
tOlOn Herald
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