The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-09-08
ALE SORTS.

,umstances should lead him to believe |.
that he needs just at this time to show the
that he can do what he will with {
bis political associates in his own State,
The Chicago Times: Charles Lemos,
the colored barber of the Executive Man
sion, who, in the language OF correspon-
dens, is expected to shampoo the Presi
dent, battle the courtly Rogers, put CO.'S
Hayes, and lather and shave the clerks of
the Executive Mansion, hes been appoint
ed to 81, 400 clerkship 10 the Office of
the Third Auditor of the Treasury. This
is conspicuous specimen of the Admins.
tration's civil shave US reform"
The Cincinnati ENQUIRER; 1.-THE action
of the Democratic Treasurer in Butler
county in promptly replacing in the treas
ury the amount of money embeZzled by |
his clerk is to be commended, While |
defaleations have occurred in various coun- |
ties iu this State under Republican rule,
we can recall no instance in which any
Republican Treasurer has ever stepped to
the front and replaced the amount stolen.
Democrats believe in, and insist upon, an
honest administration of public affairs, and
the Democrats of Butler county are no
exception to the rule.
The Columbus Democrats: I'VE have
yet to hear of any Republican journal con-
demning the wholesale intimidation and
bulIdozing that was practlced IN Massa-
chusetts last fall The proof is abundant
that thousands of voters were compelled
by threats of discharge from employment
to vote against their convictions. The
proof is at hand also to show that hundreds
of foreign parentage were compelled 10
get naturalized or lose their vote. There
is evidence to show, also, that men who
voted against the wishes of the Republi
can employers were discharged FROM posi-
tons they had held for years. 1t is said
that silence signifies approval, 1t this be
so we have a right TO assume from the
uniform silence Of the Republican press
that this sort of business is all right as
long as it lnures to the benefit of the Re-
publican party"
At I o'clock in the morning two duelists,
who are to fight to the death at a place 10
the suburbs, meet at the ticket Office OF
the railroad station. ''Gimme a return
ticket al usual," says the first dueist to
the clerk In terrible tone aud with fer
ocious twist OF his mustache II say,
do you always buy return tickets?" STAN
mers his opponent Always" Then !
apologize. - Troy Tines.
An innocent looking young man travelling
on train from st. Paul - Chicago was OBJ
served suddenly to reach up and pull the
bell-rope The train, of course. came to a
standstl, while conductor aud potter
rushed into the car to ascertain The cause
Tor the detention "Gentlemcn, exclaim.
ed the young mau, You must excuse me
nae. / wanted the porter, who vas in the
forward end CT the car, II make UP my
bed, and thought ;kat it pulled the rope
that would fetch him.
4 Western city has been RECALLED with
sacred concerts on the Sabbath during
weary of them. They say they prefer q
professional baseball match, or bull>6ght
, IT q horsetrot, or something q little less
tumuituous aud eXcltelng than sacred
concert They don't think the Sabbath
is proper day on which to hold such wild
and hilarious entertainments. Just like
some people, They would rather stay al
home and read soul destroying Sunday pa
: pers than to encourage anything of {
sacred" nature.-Naristoson Herald.
"Pshaw," said Czardine, as he seated
, himself in the Times sanctum, the snakt
stories that are going about are all to(
. thin, Why just look here, Last spring
= went out into the woods. | took alon,
, an umbreller. which laid down upon tht
rocks. Well, sir. about an hour after
wards l went to get my umbreller, as i
o had begun to rain little. | took holt 0
:, the handle, and as gave it a shove
: something begun to tear, and as the um
breller flew open live back-snake fell t
the ground split In two from its head to it
q tail, The COMPOUNDED critter had actuRl
d swallowed my unbrelIer, and | never no
!. ticed ituntil showed up the dumb thin
and split the cuss upen from stem to stern.
/ - Whitehall Times
There's been so much talk about tn
10 marriage Of the Princess Beatrice to thi
Iy or that fellow that we don't propose t
il, have the matter in doubt any longer, an
shall cable to her to know Just how thing
10 stand, and when we get reply shall max
r. it public. Boston Post.
A gentleman travelling on train of cal
recently said to the conductor, 'Suppos
as the brakes should give way, where woui
81 we go tor The conductor remarked th,
o. 1t was impossible for them to give wa,
But the gentleman again asked the SAN
&c question, when the conductor replied, .
e. all depends on what your past life hi
ne been. '-P0rtland Transcript.
~ Gentlemen of the jury" said an ell
n, quent Chicago advocate, you hev heer
ID the witness swar be saw the prisoner rails
I'D his gun; you hev heern him swar he sa
30 the flash aud heered the report; you he
at heern him swar be saw the dog fall, deaC
th you hev heern him swar be dug the bullt
as with a jack knife. and you hey seen th
a bullet produced in court; but whar, gel
tlemen-whar, [ ask you, is the man VII
saw that bullet hit that dog?"
Said old Mr.. Wiseowl, There is a pa
sage of scripture, brutherin', thet's in
~ pressed me much, very much; I've though
, - ont aud thought ont, and L ID alluz think
~ ing ont. | disremember Just whar it i;
y. and, ez fur tibet matter, just what it is. bu
r. you carnt tell how much Nv a soils it is
= me on my journey through this vale
IA tears. boston Transcript.
1" A Sunday school teacher in this cit
G. has boy 10 her class who has not faile
a in bis penny contribution for more than
H. year, aud when he has found empty
>, handed last Sabbath the teacher observed
- why. Johnny, did you forget you
~ penny to-day?"
gs mo, ma'am," he humbly replied, ''bt
ID father says the Wabash Road will do til
- town more good than any fourteen Sunda,
. schools, and I'm going to chuck my col
e. pers into that enterprise for the next fe
of weeks"
o. Won't the brethren miss your per
-, nies?" she queried
, Il s'pose they will, but we've all got
r aa,ao r;Oht 1orr ar IL .ou-