National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1879-03-12
The Dead Letter once.

should you choose, some day, to wander
To the great Dead Letter Ohice,
should II be your wish or pleasure
To direct your footsteps thither.
And enjoy the pleasant scenery
Of that hall so high and ample,
With its gallery gemmed with ladies
Hall concealed by graceful curtains;
should, | say, you wish to go there
ON some day OF genial sunshine,
Coming, you must pause moment
In the ante-room, so cosy,
Where tho ovcrSeer Is sitting;
Dallas, the presiding genius
Of that curious. busy temple
Which you now propose 10 enter.
As he bows you his permission,
PrOifcriug you welcome entrance,
There shall meet you az the threshold
An accomplished cicerone,
Who will guide you here and thither,
Who shall tell you and instruct you
or the many marvellous mysteries
Orthnt famed repository;
Who will answer oil your questions.
Who will point your wondering vision
To the torrent Of dead letters
Rushing daily through the sluiceway
Like Niagara, flowing ever.
Pouring on and pouring ever
From each city, town, and hamlet
All along this widespread nation,
And from realms beyond the ocean,
From the beauteous land of Britain;
From the fertile wales or Holland;
From the homes Of fnr.fNmcl Rhinelandl;
From the banks OF classic Tibcr
And where flows the Guadelquiver:
From the mountains Of the Northland:
From the Gallic towns and vineyards;
From wide.rcachng cold MuscOvy;
From antipOdcS rejoicing
In the wales of far Australia
Coming, coming the dead letters.
| Dcilser lnr than when the locuStS,
| At the bidding of old Moses,
| iIovercd DER the land or Nilus.l
| And the fluent ccerone
| lie shall point you to the ripping,
| TO the fierce and ruthless slnshng,
| To the reckless diScmbOwcllng
! Ofthcsc millions Of dead letters,
| All to see II haply somewhere,
| Snug within their careful foldings
| May be found some secret treasure
| Meant for other eyes TO look on,
Launched in hope, but lost its bearings;
| And, like some one worn and shipwreckel,
Hath into this harbor drifted-
| Here TO take Il new departure
| For its primal destination.
And, as you survey the scenery
| OF this quaint Dead Letter Office
| You will wonder and Will ask me
Who they are, that there are sitting,
| Delving mid those same dead letters.
Listen, then, and will tell you:
| There sits Evans, patrorchal,
| Ever Social-ever CHEEKY,
| Simons. diligeut aud peaceful,
| And the bearded. faithful Christy;
| Graves is here-the nice young doctor,
Stevens, too, not long since married,
| Opposite is Mann. the gentle.
| While Just above is calmly sitting,
| He, the captain, tall and Kindly,
| CHANGING down the burdened table;
| Near is lIovey, bright and vocal,
| Moulden, also. firm aud careful,
| And, Just by that curtained window,
| sits Judge Cranch, who sWearS he's no Judge.
| Nonder by the open sluiceway,
Where the stream Is inward rushing
The huge stream of the dead letters,
Sits the droll mud sprghtly Baker.
tNicknamcd Bake by trick unSeemly.
And athwart the area northward
Is the shaggy headed Perry,
Always sunny and good hulnored.
These, and also many another.
Whom twould be Il joy to mention,
And of ladies slight sprinklng,
Grac'd by transient visits often,
From the acute and air Miss Thurlow;
These, | say, shall greet your vision,
Busy all, or ought to be so.
Aud now one word, yc various callers,
CHANGING DER these desks and tables,
AS the pleasant cicerone
Leads you here and there and yonder,
Please be quiet and respectful;
Talk not loud and laugh but little
Let all gentlemen, that are such
Pass around without their hats on;
And lady visitors be careful
Not 10 ask too many questions;
While all who come Of both the sexes,
Hasten on and tarry briefly,
Promptly giving place to others,