The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-10-23

Hair should not be banged too loud.
A monarch of the seize-The sheriff.
Ewes FIRST outfit was fall costume.

A monarch Of the seize-The sheriff.
Ewes FIRST outfit was fall costume.
A financial crash cannot be worked up
into towels.
Are men who fit counters 10 boots coun-
terfeiters?
It's a game of bluff when you try to
scale precinice.
A short negro resembles white man
because he is not tall black.
There is always room for man of force,
and he makes room for many.
One hundred thousand Londoners live
on canal-boats and barges.
An Indiana carpenter is so temperate
that he will not use spirit level
Those who have had their summer loaf
must now earn their winter bread
The joker who intimated that he had
some nuts to crack" must have meant
jest-nuts.
A bird deprived of food dies on the third
day, while serpent can live three months.
Marriage is often mirage" said a
bachelor. "Celbacy is sell, responded
a Benedict.
Wound no ones feeling unnecessarily;
there are thorns enough in the path OF
human life.
The average of cat is fifteen years.
The bootjack trade will not play out yet
awhile.
Trouble never comes single handed
until you are knocked down by one-arm.
ed fellow citizen.
The amounts of deposits in the saving
banks of the United States is estimated
| at 81 500 600. 0O0
''Thar's music in the heir. moaned the
young father. as be reached for the pare
goric bottle,
The trouble with the midnight cat is
| not so much that it cannot sing, as that il
firmly believes it can.
THE Puritan Sabbath is gone" says the
Christian Union; mot threatened, moi
going, but gone"
One who thinks he knows all about
farming says the best way to raise straw.
berries is with spoon.
/ Greatness is transient. but good mora
character endures just as long as mar
keeps it 10 good repair.
| An Iowa paper says there are no slippery
sidewalks in heaven. Do they send dowr
to the other place for their ashes2
We hear the railroad locom olive Spoken
OF as the iron horse. This is, We pre-
sumo, what constitutes the railroad stock
There is no ice cream in China. Wha
u capital country China is for young met
to take their best girl to 10 the summer
season.
| A fashion item says short dresses will bt
the rage in the fall. Long dresses have
been the rage in the fall of many mao
\
Most of the Russian locomotives were
built IN this country, and we are still ship
ping them to Russian ports and for gov
ernment use.
| The export OF breadstuffs from this
country during the last fiscal year wa.
| nine times as large as during any year
before the war.
1Dgratitude is deadly weed not only
poisoning in itself, but impregnating the
very atmosphere in which it grows with
ietid vapors.
If Edison would only discover some
mode of utilizing the light of other days,
We might Go away with the big bills of gas
light companies.
When the dentists of this country can
discover way to pull teeth without max
ing a man wish he had been born q hen.
life will have twice as much brightness.
The most remarkable of recent opinions
concerning divorce (by a woman, OF
course): Divorce is all very we'll in its
way, but prefer widowhood- its surerl''
Nothing is made ia vain?' excIaims
the divine; but the next moment, as an
aggregation of silk, lace, and feathers
sweeps up the aisle. he realizes that some
thing is maiden vain.
They asked crier in one of the court $
if he did not find it difficult to while away
the time during the hearing of dry cases.
u, no" was the prompt reply: Il just
lean my head back and sleep the sleep of
the judge.
The successful practitioners of every
school of medicine invariably direct their
first efforts to restore the Stomach to its
| normal activity. DIR. Bulls Baltimore
Pills are the great stomachic remedv. cor