Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1879-01-08
Humorous.

It's good artist who can draw pay
Lynn h pocter.
Bees wax wroth before they sting
New Orleans picdyunc.
notwithstanding the sculptor
Boston BuAtia.
Winter is the season best suited to
freeze speech. --Nec York .Maa
Mary had little lamb. 1t was roast
ed, and she wanted more. --New Orleans
Picoylne.
The Albany Journal speaks of
couple of tramps with hearts that dead
beat as one.
This is good time for bashiul young
men and maidens to break the ice
Neto York Commercial idptrttS,r.
Clocks ON ladies' stockings cause
ieeble-minded gentleman to watch
them. -Bostoa IrmScGp.
If two inhabitants Of Portugal are
called Portuguese, woald 1t be proper to
alludc to one of them as u Portuguese
! Utica Observer.
In some parts OF Europe the minister
1 OF the parish acts IN The capacity of a
| dentist--a cure for toothache, as it
were. - Cincinnati Saturday Night.
You may break, you may shatter the
hlve II you Will, but If you get of with
out n puucture or two you'll be thund-
ERIN lucky Yonkers Go;,te.
Ii every man is the architect of
his own fortune" the most of them had
better abandon architecture and 10 to
saving wood. i iaghamtoa Republican.
A mules head does not contain a
brain capable of culture and refined
rearing, but it is wonderful to what An
extent the other end of him can be
reared. -Neg York Md
Unmarried men can't appreciate the
! feelings of n fellow whose wife sends
him To get something out ot the pocket
of the dress that's hanging up in the
cioset.--Lynn Reporttr,
A charming young thing at n New
| York school examination, IN reading,
her exercises before II large audience
of parents, changed Keats line, "a
thing of beauty is n boy forever
The human race is less liable to be
won in a canter than lost in decanter.
Now we expect half Of the population
will rise to II point Of order, and order
us to bottle up.--Ne,O York NeuS,
A bray sing air-The voice Of the don
key. We presume the caves OF the
ocean are mostly salt rheum. When
YOU come to II guide-board that is He
gible, that is ~ bad sign. '-BoSton COM
mecidi BaAefin.
One of the most delicate bits Of
| humor in the Bible is uosea's descrip-
| ton of Ephraim rs n cake not turn-
ed" The prophet didn't want to hurt
Ephraim's feelings by calling him
halfbakcd. "-Ne'o Harca Register.
1.-TWO mouths with tut n single stew,
two spoons that dip as one" rs the
young man remarked to his dearly
beloved after giving his economical
order of zone stew, two spoons.
We no longer question the proprety
of considering vessels IN the feminine
gender. They ran each other down nj
most every day in the English Channel.
-Tun,er's Falls Reporter.
"Silasl wharfo dye s'pose de sheferis
Of de olden times washed dere irocks III
de mtime?" 9 Is yer sho dey did,
Nose? ?" Why, corse! don de Samis'
say 500" "Well, den guess mus er
been cause dere was Only one frock
apiece an dey didn' want to be too con
spikerous while dey was washin' oh
it. - Yonker's Gazette.
An old colorcd preacher in Atlanta,
Ga, was lecturing II youth OF his fold
about the sin Of dancing, when the lat
ter protested that the Bible plainly said.
"There's time to dance Yes; dar
am n time to dance" said the dark dt'
nine; "and it's when a boy gets viii o.
pin for gwlne to ball
A critic Of an Eastern paper speaks
of violinist whose objectirity Of ar
tistic instinct suffered from the predom-
nance Of his SUFFICIENTLY" BE II little
palmer if you please. We are at "A loss
to understand whether string broke or
the bridge Of the fiddle fell down
MlO0ukce Sun.
A lady in Lima, n y, who lately ac-
cidentally broke the handle from u china
cup. rashIy exclaimed that she wished
none of them had handles. Later on
it became necessary for the serving
maid to explain matters, and she pro
ceeded to do 80 by saying lndade,
marin, ard yes said ye'd prefer to hey
the hantheIs all off, and yc see | have
y done it ralc noce."
First Small Boy" HulIo, Jim! Eve
got q two-bladed knife and book full
@ pictcrs." Second 5 B.-"Pooh, That
i nothing. I've got -bladcr and two
2 books and a bully sled and a pair o
r skates and" First s. b" Look a