Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-02-13
Sips of Fun.
The bestkind of cure-sine-


Speaking of rude remarks,
any remark is rued that gets
you into trouble.
Tell US, somebody, why oul
lawmakers are never arrested
for passing worthless bills.
The Cleveland Ledderrpfers to
an organ grinder of that city as
Gan old veteran suicide indu-
cer."
A lady lecturer believes that
women ought to retain their own
names when they get married.
IShe has retained hers thus far.
/ When a man reaches the top
of a stairway and attempts to
make one more step higher, the
sensation is as perplexing as if
he had attempted to kick dog
THAT wasn't there.
"Yhat," said an interviewer
toan unpIedged candidate, "what
do you intend to do if you are
elected?" "My goodncssP' said
the poor fellow" "what shall l do
Iif | am not elected?"
A writer on the effect of good
taste says ga mans dress shonld
not be remarkable" That is
why we Away said a black
patch should not be seated on
white pants, or rice rerSa.
An exchange says: "Alcohol
will clean out the inside OF an
inkstand." 1t will also clean out
the inside of a pockelbook a lit
lie more thoroughly and quickly
than anything else on record.
"What tnnnel is that?" asked
a stranger in our city who was
driving round taking in the
sights, yesterday. Tunnel?
Why, that's no tunnel; that's a
livery man smiling," was an
swered.
"What makes dogs madl"
asks an exchange. Boys. It,
makes a dog mad as a wet hen
the minute he sees boy with Il
tin can in one hand and a string
in the other looking for some
thing to tie them to.
'Some entirely dis;n:erested
persons" says Judge Virgin of
Maine, "cannot tell thercal, ,abso-
lutte truth if they Try, because
they have not got mind enough
to comprehend and understand
and then r' late it, while others
have not the honesty to do it."
There is man in Louisiana
who is such a confirmed gambler
that when he was told the other
day that a friend had been strick-
en down BY the "chill, cold hand
Of DEATH" be Immediately went
out to raise it, declaring that "no
man could play a cold hand on
any friend of his"
A new clerk in Harlem drug
store was discharged the other
day because he didn't know how
to look wise, roll his eyes, and
say "seyenty-6ye cents" with
out turning red in the face, as he
handed out little powder that
had cost the concern about two
cents and IL fraction. Emotion
and business don't jingle.
The English language is won-
derful for its aptness of express
sion. When a number of men
and women get together and
look at each other from the sides
Of the room-that's called So
ciable. When hungry crowd
call upon a poor minister and
eat him out Of house and home
that's called donation party. 1
"What is the defendants char
acter for truth and veracity?"
asked a Maine lawyer of a wit
ness. oval, now, Squire, she
alters used me first rate, Pm be
blowed if she didn't. AS for
voracity, Squire, why bless you,
that was her big holt. Why, /,
I've seen that ere girl eat a
Here the Judge ask
ed the witness if he understood
the question.
"Every man should provide
for his family" says Mr..
Smith. "Eyer since my marIi-
age I have kept my wife provi- ]
led with sewing-machine sur ,
mounted by a very fine mirror"
'What is the mirror for?" in
4uired party present. "Well,"
said the oracle, 81 tell her when
she gets so lazy she can't run
he machine she can sit still and :
see herself starye to DEATH"
OfCourse. .-"Above all things
n this world said a youth who ,
stands on the street corners for a !
living, "do value the love Of
NY dear mother" "God bless
you, young man, for these noble
sentiments" said a missionary.
Having so much respect and .
owe for a mother, YOU need no
other recommendations to sue