Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1879-08-14
How They Get Ready.

How They Get Ready.
When they reached the depot Mr. Man
and his vile gazed with unspeaksble dlsap-
pointment at the receding train. which was
jnst pulliag away al the bridge switch at
the rate of thousand miles a minute.
Their first impulse was TO ran after H. but
a. the train was out OF sight ard whis,llng
for Sagertowr before they could act upon
the impulse, they remained IN the carriage
and di.c"nsolately iurEed the horses he ads
homeward.
1T all comes OF having to wait for n
woman 10 get ready" Mr. Man broke in
very grimly
II was ready before you were" replied
his wife.
Great heavens" cried Mr. Man in ire
pressiblc impatience. jerking the horses
jaws out of place, ''just listen to that 2
And | sat out Ia the buggy ten minutes
yelling al you TO come along until the whole
nelghborhood heard me ~
Yes" aoqniesced Mrs Man, with the
provoking placidity which no one can As
sumo but a moment, "Aud every time
started down stairs. you sent me back for
something you had forgotten"
Nr Man groaned.
" This i too much 10 bear. lie said
''when everybody knows that IL | was go
Ing To Europe would iust rush into the
house, pat on clean shirt. grab up nv
grip sack and hy, while vou would want
at least SIX months for the preliminary
preparations. aud then dawdlc around the
whole day Of starting until every train had
lett town"
Well, the upshot OF the matter was that
tue Mans put N their visit to Aurora until
the next week and IL was agreed that each
one should get him or herself ready. and
90 down Ia the train and 20. and the one
who failed 10 gr' ready shonld be lett The
day Of the match cane nrouud lu dUr time
The train Vas 10 20 a. 10 80, and Mr. Man
after attending to his business, went hnmc
at .45
NV, then. he shouted. "only three
quarters oi an hour to train time. Fly
around; fair field and 10 ilIprs, you
know :"
Aud away they Arw Mr. Man bulged
into this room. and rushed through that
one. aud Owed into one closet after anoth-
cr with inconcrivab.e rapilliy. chuckling
under HI. breath all the time 10 think how
cheap Mrs Man would feel when he
started eli alone. lie stopped on his way
up stairs to pull of his heavy boots TO save
time For the same reason he pulled OF
h- coat a. he ran through the dining room,
and hung Ii on a corner OF a silver closet.
Then he jersed OF hts vest as he rushed
through the hall. and tossed Il on hook
In the hat rack, and by the time he reached
his own room he was ready TO plunge into
his clean clothes. lie pulled out bureau
drawer and began 20 paw at the things
Ike scotch terrier after rat.
Eleanor" he shrieked, where are my
shirts1"
In your bureau drawer" calmly re-
piled Mrs. Man, who was standing placidly
before a glass, calmly and deliberately
coaxing refractory crimp Into place.
"Nrll, by thunder, they amt" shouted
Mr.. Man. a little annoyed; live cmptied
every last thing out OF the drawer, and
there isn't a thing Ia 1t that ever saw be
fore"
Mrs Man stepped back few PAGES. held
her head ON one side, and after satisfying
herself that the crimp would do, and would
stay where she put il, she replied:
These things scattered around on the
floor are all mine. Probably you haven
been looking 10 your own drawer"
Il don't see" testify observed Mr. Man,
why you couldn't have put NV things out
for me when you had nothing else to do
all the morning"
self into an additional article OF ralment
with awful deliberatior, nobody put out
mine for me. \ fair field, and no fsyors,
my dear"
Mr.. Man plunged into his shirt like 4
bull at red nag.
Foul" he shouted In malicious tr-
umph. mo button on the neck"
"Becau.e,' said Mrs. Man. s~eetly, an
er deliberate stare at the hdgefiug, i'm
patient man. during which she buttoued
her dres, aud put eleven pins where they
would do the most good, because you
have got the shirt on wrong side out"
When Mr.. Map slid out OF that shirt he
began to sweat. He dropped the shirt three
times before he got IL on, and while II was
over his head the clock struck ten. When
his head came through he saw Mrs. Man
eoaxing the ends and bows OF her neck
Where's my shirt studs, he cried.
Mrs. Man went out into another room,
and presently came back with her gloves
aud hat, and saw Mr.. Man emptying all the
boxes he could lind about the bureau
Then she said:
'.ln the shirt you took OFF.
Mrs. Man put on her gloves. while Mr..
Man hunted up aud down the room for his
cuff buttons.
Eleanor" he snarled at last. Il believe
you know where those buttons are"
81 haven't seen them" said the lady
settling her hat, didn't you lay them down
on the window-sill of the situng-room. last
nightl'
Mr.. Man remembered. aud he went down
stairs on the run. He stepped on one of
his boots, and was Immediately landed In
the hall at the foo, OF the stairs with neat
ness and despatch. attended in the trans
mission with more bumps than he could
Count with a Webb's adder, and landed
with q bang like the He'll Gate explosion.
Are you nearly ready, Aigernonr'
asked the wife of his family, sweetly, lean
ing over the banisters.
The unhappy man groaned.
Cant you throw me down that boot?"
he asked.
Mrs. Man pityingly kicked it to him.
NY valse 2" he inquired. as he tugged
away at his boot.
up In your dressing room," she ans
wered
'Packedf'
IL do not know. Unless you packed it
yourself, probably not" she replied, with
her hand on the door knob; Il had barely
time to pack my own"
She was passing out of the gate, when
the door opened, and he shouted:
"Where, in the name OF goodness, did
you put my vest? 1t has all my money in
it!'
"You threw it on the hat rack" she
called back. '.Good-by, DEAR
Eleanor! Eleanor! Eleanor Man
Did You wear of my coatY'
She paused. and turned. after signaling
. street ear to stop, and cried;