The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-11-01
A SOCIAL SYMPOSIUM,
Which, il Continued, Might Have
Become an Unsociable SympO.
sium,

Which, If Continued, Might Have
become an Unsociable SympO-
sium.
New York Graphic.l
Mrs. Joralemon, like most other women,
is one of the incest little ladies in the
world. She is the happy mother CT two
beautiful boys, and has mild-mannered,
kind and studious husband, with bald
head and gold spectacles. Mr.. Jorale-
mon is well off in worldly goods and
spends much of his time in reading books,
magazines and newspapers, while what
little reading his wife does is confined
chiefly to newspapers, and on Sunday to
religious tracts. Of late she has taken
much interest in the temperance ques-
ton, and is now exultant over the results
of the noble way in which her Newark
sisters have squeezed the throat of intem-
perance till that horrid monster has
roared like the devil when st. Dunstan
tweaked his nose with pair of red-hot
tongs.
To her, as to the late DR.. Greeley, ale,
wine, whisky and gin all come under the
head of "rum," and distinctions between
them are as odious as comparisons. No
matter how it may pretend to disguise
itself, rum is rum, and anybody who
takes even an occasional glass of lager
beer is "rummy" and needn't pretend
to be anything else. So it may be seen
that even the incest little woman in the
world can not discriminate when her feel
ings are absorbed in the contemplation of
what she knows to be essential Now,
Mr.. Joralemon would rather discriminate
than eat, and consequently he is apt, on
occasion, to talk in a way that exasper-
ales his wife till her eyes snap again, and
she looks witheringly upon her lord, not
unlike pink-cheeked, fsir-haired Gorgon;
| who looks. upon you men" quite as if
she were one of the Eumenides.
1t happened the other morning that she
had been mildly advised by her husband
to read an editorial on "The New Liquor
Law Proposed in England" which APP
peared in the Esteemed Contemporary.
MIR. Joralemon gave her general notion
of the views therein expressed, where
upon her pretty face assumed severe
and lofty look, and she averred that she
didn't want to read such truck, and that
the man who wrote it ought to be
ashamed of himself" She had no doubt
that at heart he was ''rummy," with
whom she would not exchange places
here or hereafter, mot fer worlds"-"to
90 and advise men to make beasts of
themselves" However, she read it after a
while with many a sniff. Two hours after
wards, while her husband was reading
the latest work on political economy, she
burst out with:
"Well! He must be nice man to set
such an example to his childrenp
"He? WhoW querried Mr.. Joralemon,
looking up from his book.
"Who?' returned his wife, thoroughly
aroused. "Who9 Why, that person; that
Mr.. w. Z. Forster. He's a liberal with
ahurrahw
"Hailo! What's he been doing now?'
asked her husband.
"Pd liberal him if l were his wife, y
continued the lady. "Here is that blessed
man, Sir Wilfred Lawson, wants to pass
bill through Parliament absolutely, pro.
hibiting the sale of rum, and the rum
sellers won't let him."
II didn't read it So" rejoined her lord
meekly. "All read was that Mr.
Forster doesn't believe in local option
"Well," the lady rejoined, ait all
amounts to the same thing, only it's
worse. Oh, if you could only see thing
as l do-see the ruined homes, the
blasted hearths, the rags and the high
price of the necessaries of life and al
because men will drink rnm-you'd
think as do"
"But, you know, my DEAR" said Mr.
Joralemon, soothingly, "that it is i'm
practicable to make q general pro
hibitionary law work. People will
drink, and as they can't drink withou
having something to drink, why it seem
necessary that somebody must make anc
sell liquor"
"They can pass such law, can't they
And if it's the law, they've got to obey
it, haven't they? They make peopl
obey other laws, and why can't the,
make them obey that?' asked Mrs. Joral
emon, triumphantly.
"Who are they my love? In thi
country we generally believe, or at leas
the theory is that the people make III
laws. Now, if the people want to drink
as they really do, how are you going t.
pass laws against the will of the people p
her husband rejoined.
"But that hasn't anything to do witt
the matter" said Mrs. JoraIemon
Grossly. "You know as well as / do, an,
so does everybody else, that drinking is
curse to the land, and ought to b
stopped"
"But suppose the people want to b
cursed, what are we to do thenW sail
the wretch. "But as to the cursing, til
truth of the matter seems to be that, i
the long run, more social pleasure result
from moderate drinking than misery fror
immoderate drinking"
"Mr. Joralemon, you ought to b
whipped! What pleasure can there b
in mans making beast of himself, m
coming home like James Lattimer an
beating his wife's brains out with bo
tie? You ought to be ashamed Of youl
self" said the wife.