The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-08-06
AUGUST 6
VARIETIES.

chance she should meet her son.in-
law, hides behind bush, while he
turns away his head.
When baby stuffs his toe into his
mouth, he little realizes how hard it
will be for him in later years to
make both ends meet.-Neac Have,a
Register.
A man in Michigan snapped his
horse for a wife. An old bachelor
acquaintance said he'd bet there was
something wrong with the horse, or
its owner would never have fooled it
away in that reckless manner
An Irishman adorned with a blue
ribbon went into an apothecary's shop
and said to the clerk eff we place,
sir, I'm temperance man, but if We
have any soda water of the strength
and quality of whisky, I'll trouble
you for little
A young man went into a florists
store the other day to buy a rosebud
for his affianced. Seventy.five cents
was the price asked. evil it keep :"
inquired the young man. "Oh, yes,
long while" "Tben you may keep
it,"
A man asked for admission to a
show for half price, as he had but
one eye. But the manager told him
it would take him twice as long to
see the show as it would ANYBODY
else, and charged him double.-CIn-
ci,a,aati Saturday Night.
Country doctor to the bereaved
widow of a late member of the
Georgia Legislature Il cannot tell
how panied l was to hear that your
husband had gone to heaven. We
were bosom friends, but now we
shall never meet again"
Righteousness, with a syllable left
out, is Brightness; and with still
another syllable omitted, is right.
Right is the root. TO be radical is
to be right at the root. Right refers
to relations. Rights are always rela-
tive as we'll as positive. A righteous
man honors the rights of his fellows,
regardless of condition OF circum-
stance.-Americda RawaI Home.
During the late war, some children
were talking of their fathers and
brothers who had been made prison
ers of war. Many tales were told of
the suffering OF their relatives, the
youngsters evidently priding them
lTselves Upon it. One boy, Who was
silently listening, at last said: THAT'S
nothing I've got an uncle in prison,
and he amt been to no war neither"
A good colored man once said in
class meeting: "Bredren, when was
a boy took Ratchet and went into
the woods. When / found tree
that was straight, big and solid, l
didn't touch that tree, but when 1
found one leaning little and hollow
inside, soon had him down. So,
when the debil got after Christians
he don't toch dem dats straight and
true, but dem dat lean little and
are hollow inside"
A few years ago coon.hunting
Kentucky Major had fine piece Of
land which he desired to sell. He
told friend about it, who remon-
strated with him, and said: "Why,
Major, you ought not to think about
selling that property now; it will be
very valuable some day." "Valuable,
the devil p replied the Major, give
not caught a coon off that land Tor
ten years"
Trueness, or sincerity, is a sterling
quality IN human character. The
man who carries his heart on his
sleeve" is the man we admire and
trust. Such a man does not use
others as he does greenbacks-to pro-
mote his own ends and ambitions.
He makes no false professions. He
abhors hypocrisy in religion, in friend
ship, in business, in politics. He has
principles which are rooted in his
convictions, and which he accepts as
the guides of his conduct. Such a
man will be true friend, faithful
church member, an honorable bust.
ness man, and genuine disciple of
the Lord Jesus.-Zioaa's Herald.
A loving husband - riding in a
railroad car:
Husband-You are quite comforta-
BILE, dear?
Wife-Yes, love.
.Husband-Tbe cushions are easv
and soft, ducky?
Wife-.Yes, darling.
Husband-You don't feel any tjolts,
pet ?
Wife-No, sweetest.