The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1879-03-09
FRENCH WIT.
SEINE Of the Funny Things Found In tn
Paris Newspapers.

There are times when even tho timid and
inoffensive hare may prove IA dangerous foe
for instance, when you have eaten TOO much
of him.
A lover Of curlos showed with pride and
satisfaction to his friend q number Of new
antiquities which he had added to his already
enormous collection.
"Stil buy at the same placer" said his
friend, II hear his prices are terribly
steep"
con, yes" replied the collector; II owed
him a good round figure for these
Just rs the horse was about TO run over the
lady its driver, with superhuman effort,
refined the animal in, checking ii SO sharply
that it reared up upon its launches
Bravo coachee; n0bly done exclaimed
spectator
II wouldn't have killed her for the world"
replied the Coachman: .'she would have been
my THU teenth this month, and thirteen Is
always an unlucky number"
Madame contempates with love delicious
vase In glass Of Venice, which has cost the
prices fools.
The object precious slips between her fin
gers and itself freaks in Thousand pieces.
julia, her maid, enters at the same instant.
What happiness, madame" she cries her
self; 81 am going therefofe To be able to re-
commence to dust the mantlcpiecel"
FOR high stakes Is the rule, says cuurteously
tu player with bushY black whiskers and q
square foot OF diamond breast-pin:
81 beg your pardon, sir, but II seems TO me
that you turn jacks from the bottom Of the
pack"
ITS lucky" urhanely replies the player
addressed, "for have found that when neg
ccted to 10 So | always lost"
The president, who believes in signs aud
omens. bows aud bevs him to continue
Model newspaper prospectus, from play
M the Palais Royal:
"Ihe Windmill Gnd) bears n name which
is q sufficient guarantee Of its principles.
Faithful to the opinions which 1e believe
we should defend, we will only oppose those
to which we are Loyalty hostile
"FalschoC1 is often but coming truth .
Truth sometimes is but n late Lie.
Each numherof our paper will Indicate our
opinion for that day.
Shame he to those who desert the flag thov
bear, for Il would he n comparatively easy
matter for them TO lay down the flag before
DESERVING it,
"Wth one eye fixed on the past and the
other on the present, we shall regard the flu
turn s-th vigilance and serenity.
"Such briefly Is our programme; We make
no promises we shall keep them"
One line morning Jules Janin beheId enter
his room on excited man who gazcd breath
lessly:
There is n vacaneyi in the French Academy
i want to run for IT. Write me something
In prose verse to show 'em for a sample
and my children will lisp your name in their
prayers
J. j. knew that it was useless to attempt
to argue with man who wants to run for the
French Academy, and set ling down at his
table wrote the following quatrain:
TILE BEETLES: AN EPIC.
The Beetles, children ~ tho spring
bHtInn pnnb nj
Amuse the hHb e LIKE everything
And ornament fair Natures face.
Thanks, thanks, my MASTER" cried j. J 8
visitor claspng the precious poem To his
heart, and he fed to canvass the other thirty
eight Immortals.
The Epic was such remarkable one, and
the candidate was 50 manifestly the poorest
Of all poor devils, that hardlyan Academcian
but gave him five franc piece, il he was
compelled to withhold his vote
For twenty years the Beetle Man. as he
came to be known, was perpetual candidate
for the Academy aud paid his round of visits
regularly as one of the Forty passed AWAY
His canvass kept him in food and clothing for
month, which was always something.
The natives of New Caledonia are confirmed
polygamistS and treat women as labOrers or
pack-hOrses. 1t Isl but rarely that the worthy
missionaries succeed in inducing them to en-.
brace the Christian faith aud uonogamy.
one day, however, q native presented him
SELF as candidate Tor baptism. lie had two
wives.
"My SON. said the missionary, 'ir you
really want to be an angel and with the an
gels stand it is absolutely necessary that YOU
should renOunCe the devil and all his works
mean one Of your wives"
The candidate went away very sorrowfuI.
but the good mssionary's words had sunk
deep into his heart, and few days later he
returned jOyfuly.
Il have only one wife now," said the con-
vert; "baptize me"
Only one wife p exclaimed the missionary;
where IS the other? You had two"
~ We killed her, and il you don't believe me
! have her head here to prove ii cried the
convert producing In evidence his late spousp's
head tied up in bunch of banana leaves
'and now go on with this ceremony"