Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1879-02-08

'.My dearest-Fahny. of course you
think yourself right, love, but I have a
very good eye tor color, and noticed
these flowers with great attention. Blue
anemones with yellow centers."
Green hibuscus with white centers,
my dear Phil. Very pretty for light |
skinned woman, but horrid for bru-
nette." -f .,h--l.- a. ---- --- q. --
"Why. Fanny. how, absurd! As it l
could not determine color when /
studied it half the evening!''
But it was by gas-light, my love. 1t
would look altogether different by day.
light. 1t WAS such pale green."
ut was such pale blue. I remem-
ber l thought OF the sky before storm"
''And thought of the sea. 1t was
nearly sea-green."
"Why. Fanny-ridiculous! It was
y-blue."
'.How you do contradict me, my Phil
emon. 1t was very light green"
sand insist it was blue"
"Do you mean to tell me lie e''
II mean to tell you you are mis-
taken.'
(Which amounts to the same thing"
"You make the application, Mrs.
Fanny Hayes"
.Mr. Philemon Hayes!
"Fannvr'
Il say it was green, sirG'
81 say it was blue-so therei"
"You are wretch, Phll-a real mean,
heartless wretch" and Fanny pushed
back her plate angrily.
'tAnd you are an opinioned. self-willed
woman and Phil, in his agitation, up
set the coffee. scalding the cats back
and himself at the same time.
| 1.-The deucel" cried he, rubbing his
red fingers with his handkerchief. II
wish had never seen a woman !"
whats that, sirP"
"Confound the women! They're .
} curse to the world~
"You brute !" cried Mrs Hayes, now
thoroughly incensed stake that !" and
Selling the plate of mullins, she took
aim at Phils head but. being woman,
her aim was not 80 accurate as it might
have been, and the plate went through
the window, smashing in the tile of
Fltz James Jones, who was passing, and
J the mullins were scattered in wild con-
fusion about the room. l 5a.5.--a.-
Phil was indignant. He laid his hand
on the poker.
..Oh, strike !" exclaimed Fanny. 'sIt
will only be in place with your other
conduct. Don't let any notions OF hon.
er restrain you, because you never had
any"
"Fanny, beware !; you try me too far
.'sPn 60 home to pa, that will. You
inhuman monster YOU'LL be divorced
from you this very day. So there!' and
the platter4of ham made journey after
the mullins. ar-ss5e r. r.-..
Just at that moment Phils Uncle
John. shrewd cid fellow, appeared on
the scene. He surveyed the group with
an anxious twinkle OF the eye. -a
whats the matter, Fanny? Any.
thing gone wrong i' he inquired.
"Gene wrong l. Matter enough Oh,
Uncle John. he's a wretch, and set ou,
to strike me with a poker.". r.-r
"And she threw plate OF mullins aud
ham at me-" l-.. .- f.
"He's monster. Uncle John. I'll be
divorced from him this very day. He
is worse than q savage"
$50 he ISL cried Uncle John, enter
ing warmly into the spirit OF the thing
$50 he is''-strjpping off his coat
''and I'll settle the matter at once. You
stand back, Fanny; I'll give him such q
thrashing as he'll be likely to remem
ber. Striking his wife with poker, in.
deed! I'll rectify matters;' and Uncle
2 John grasped the long-handled feather
duster, and hourished it threateningly
around the head OF his nephew. There
sir, take that, and that, and thatr' ex
claimed he, bringing down the feather.
on the shoulders OF the amazed Phil
"Fanny, my dear, Pll not leave bone
of him whole"
Fanny's round blue eyes had beer
growing larger and larg ger-and now
her Indignation broke.
''John HAY es! T" she cried, "you're s
heather, and an old meddling vag
abond! Let Phil alone He's my dear
dear husband, and you've no right ts
touch him. He's an angel. He neve
intended 10 strike me. Be still striking
him, or you'll be sorry" and Fanny
seized the broom from behind the door
and prepared to do battle.
"Stand back! cried Uucle John
hes monster. and deserves death
The man who would threaten to strik,
woman ought to be hung"
Fanny's eyes blazed. She flew a
Uncle John with the spite OF tigress
and the way the trio went round th,
room was worth witnessing. Uncl,
John after Phil with the dIster, an,
Fanny after Uncle John with the broom
Phil made a spring for the window
but there was whatnot in the way, an,
getting his leg entangled in that b.
brought the whole concern to the floor
Ambrotypes. books, vases, rare chin
and hundred cherished curiosi.ies, al
were involved in q direct ruin. -
Phil went down with the other things
Uncle John stumbled over him, an
Fanny only saved herself by seizing tn