The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-10-09
Musquash Mosquitoes.

LAST sunday ngnC we all went TO
church down at Musquash, and heard
Mr.. Hopper preach--a pleasure that
all Burlington will envy us. Mr.. H.
was down there helping the rest OF us
enjoy ourselves, and the Baptists OF
Musquash just pressed him into their
service for one day. Well, had been
trout-fishing all the day before, and
had waded down the river a few miles;
and Saturday night 1 poured bushel
and a half of oats into each of my
boots, and all the bright, sunny Sab
bath-day they set out in the sun and
basked, while lounged around loosely
shod in slippers, and extremely happy.
l went to church in the evening, and
you can't imagine how easy and COM
Portable were my slippered feet. ]
thrust them out before me, and ad-
mired them. In a moment or two a
mosquito came sailing along, humming
the refrain of the hymn the congregation
had just ceased inging. This startled
me a little, but not very much, because
l always believed that the St. John
mosquitoes could sing if they would.
Well, this fellow sailed on, passed me,
then he turned and came back, and
observed that he had a rather wicked
look in his eyes, although, 1 reasoned
that was no more than one might ex-
pect of a mosquito that flew round on
the Sabbath. Presently, still humming
Broad is the road that leads to
DEATH" the bird made a few circles
and lighted on my slippered foot, max
ing his landing about an inch above the
slipper.
Nov, son." said, "this is little
too much. admire cheek, but you
fairly gorge my admiration. am sorry
for you, because know your harmless
ness and your stupidity. But your i'm
pudence is more detestable than your
imbecility is touching, and am COM
PEELED to mash YOU
I lifted my other foot to crush him,
and I hope l may live thousand years
if that mosquito didn't get the drop on
me.
/ haven't felt anything like it since
seven years ago, when I tried to mend
the family washboiler, and poured a
tablespoonful of sizzling, glowing, bub-
bling solder down inside my shoe.
AS am truthful man, when l felt
the shot, looked down, and that mos
quito had his hind legs bent under him,
his front legs stretched out and braced
against my foot, while the venomous
wretch, holding his mouth full of cpl
dermis and stocking, leaned back, pulled
and shook his head savagely, like a
bull-terrier, without ever breaking his
hold. just before kicked him he let
go and sailed around behind my head,
while the congregation joined in sing
ing:
Brethren, while we sojourn here,
Fight we must, but need not fear"
I sat in silent, enduring agony, Won
dering what manner of bird the Mus
quash mosquito was, when suddenly an
other one came behind me, caught me
by the heel, and thought in my soul
it would pull the leg off me before ]
could shake and kick it loose. And then
it lodged about my ears, swapping at
them as it went by, and humming with
great affectation of feeling:
"Iwould not live Away"
Twas glad that it felt that way about
it. 1t lived long enough to satisfy me,
all the same. All through the service
this inhuman banquet went on. The
mosquitoes that came late didn't stand
on ceremony, but drew right up and
helped themselves. "Cut a little closer
to the bone," the old ones would say to
the newcomers; "you'n find the meat
sweeter." And close to the bone it
was. kept up a regular tattoo with
my feet, until the senior deacon came
over and whispered to me that the Do
minion churches had not adopted the
New York custom of applauding the
good points in a sermon. Then held
my feet off the floor and kicked them
straight out every time a new mosquito
got the drop on me and made bulls
eye, until man sitting in front of me
turned around and sternly assured me
that, if | didn't quit kicking his wife
and children, he'd throw me out of the
window. l had wondered several times,
in an abstract sort of way, what the
children were crying for. Once, in my
suffering, l got my feet up on the pew
and tried to sit on them, but the ma
newer seemed to afford the young
ladies in that vicinity SO much amuse-
ment that had to give it up. got
hold of a window-stick, and tried
spearing the mosquitoes with it, like
eels; but it attracted too much atten-
ton, and, owing to my nervousness,
was failure anyhow. At last, either
because they had enough, or because
the service was concluded, the mos
quitoes quit, and the last 1 heard of
them, as they started over toward the
other side of the room to swarm on a
bald-headed man before he could get
his hat on, they we're singing with the
congregation:
Happy day-happy dayr'
-B~rdette, in Burlington Hasok-Eye.
EXTENSIVE saltpeter beds have re-
Gently been found near the track of the
Pleasant Valley Railroad, q few miles