The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-12-04
MULTUM IN PARvo.

THE ayes of majority always put the
noes of the minority out of joint.
YOUNG man, the only sure way to get
rich is to marry girl Of that name.
EVEN criminals like paragraphs, that
Is to say, they perfer short sentence.
THE main secret of gaining wealth
consists in saving what is gained. -Iosoa
State Register.
An ounce of generous praise will do
more to make man your friend than q
pound of fault finding.
The man who is in the habit of call
ing other people fools and asses is apt
to head the list in their estimation.
THE worst thing about mosquito is
its long soliloquy as to where and
when it is going to settle down and
bite.
Al ONCE had dog who could al
ways tell rascals from honest menp'
B-"Well, what became of him?'' A.
II had to give him away, he bit me-"
SOME females have just been arrested
in Kentucky for the manufacture of il
licit whisky. This is the first recorded
instance of woman keeping still.-Er-
change.
"MoNEY does everything for a man."
said an old gentleman, pompously.
EYES," replied the other one; ..bit
money won't do as much for man as
some men will do for money"
BRETHREN in black: Stingy parsot1-
Your charge seems high one, sweep.
You earn your money very easily?"
Sweep with grin) Eyes, sir; we
gentlemen o. the cloth do, sir! don't
we, sir?'
WE know girl who will wrestle with
a croquet mallet in the hot sun for hours
and not complain. But just ask her to
hold on to the wooden end of broom
for few minutes and she'l II have fit.
-IoaUa State Register.
THERE have been four highway-rob.
berries in the Yosemite this summer,
and hOtel-keepers up there are very
bitter about it. they say any more
competition will drive them right out
of MISUNDERSTANDING.
"WHAT the dickens do you call your
mule Ann forp" asked a tourist of
Western teamster. "Wall,'' said the
intcrrogated, "it's the nigh mule of the
par, an l TUX the name out'n the
scripter-An, nigh ASST
No BOY of ordinary ability, who ha.
to manipulate the buck saw and AK,
and furnish the family with fire wood,
will think of going to work before he
has selected a convenient place where
he can hide the knots that split hard
Osa0ego Times.
"Do. DO keep away from that win.
dow" said he. ''But I'm not afraid
of the lightning" replied she. "Ah,
DEAR" continued the youth, frantically,
little do you realize how attractive
you are" And having made this ap.
peal he was able to conduct 'er away.
A JERSEY man married five widows,
and they were all red headed. The
same man was once thrown one hun
dred and fifty feet by an express train,
when he picked himself up, looked
around for his hat, and remarked:
"Well, if I don't find that hat, I'll make
the company pay for it,
THERE would be fewer accidents in
this world if men would take their
wives advice, for we never yet heard of
a mans head being blown off with a
shotgun or his being run over by the
cars, but what his wife said she had
often told him to keep away from the
railroad track or never touch a gum
Chicago Times.
You do not burn your fingers by
holding your hair-crimpers in the gas
flame nowadays, unless you are be-
hind the times. You buy a little spirit
lamp that will hold about three cents
worth of alcohol, and which has wire
rest whereon the crimper lies until
thoroughly heated, when you withdraw
it by the wooden handle which the in
ventor, being woman, has given it to
save your fingers. Then you crimp
your hair in defiance of hotel land
lords who turn off gas at early hours,
of steamboat companies which give
you no light at all, and of railway
companies which do not see why YOU
need to look well while on journey.
And when you have done you pack the
lamp, the rest and the crimper into a
little box and put it in your pocket, and
look as if you pitied persons whose
hair had no natural wave.-N. Y.
World.
A VERY pretty and romantic little
story comes from Clinton, Texas. A
gentleman of that town was out hunt
ing few days ago, and, while wander
ing along the bayou which drains that
portion of Texas, had the good fortune
to shoot duck. About the neck of the
bird was leather locket. He opened
the locket and discovered very neatly
written note. The writer stated that
last spring, while walking along the
shore of Semouth Lake, Washington
Territory, she saw a duck in distress.
On wading into the water to learn the
cause, she discovered that mud-turtle
held the duck by its foot. She rescued
the duck, and then conceived the ro-
mantle notion of writing note, fasten-
ing it about the ducks neck and setting
it free. She further stated that she
was sweet sixteen, that the young men
of her acquaintance did not suit her
fancy, and she would wed the fortunate
man who got her note. Now, it hap
pens that the man who captured the
note has a wife, and, consequently, can
not respond to the call of the swee.
damsel in Washington Territory. II
would have been much more romantic,
of course, if the discoverer of the note
had been unfettered by matrimonial
ties, and had hurried to meet the
maiden whose message of love reached
him in such a mysterious way, but the
truth must be told, even at the risk Of
spelling romance.--N. o. Times.