The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1879-09-19
"A VERY INNOCENT DECEPTION.


parntua ind how II Works.
A respectable looking man yesterday
W alked rapidly through a street run
ming westward from the city hall park,
and pausing for moment before n
marble building which bore among
other signs taht of the "Cosmopolitai
Temperance Associations" ran lightly
up the stairs without glaucing at the
warning notice "No beggers, peddlcrs
or book agents allowed in this build.
| ing" aud entered the rooms of the &.
4. A. Ills eyes swept the apartment
with an ms met born ofexperiencc, aud
then, approaching middle-aged man
writing at a desk in an inner room, the
stranger drew toward the desk chair
| Uttered with pamphlets and news
papers, and taking a seat, said in a
husky voice:
General Manager Goose?"
eyes, sir" said the manager of the
alleged g. Il. A. "What can | do for
youW
"Important temperance matters. La
bored in cause years. HIGHWAYS and
byways, rostrum and pulpit. Voice
failed, obliged to give up lccturing.-
Take other means helping along great
cause. Can aid your association womb
erfully if assured encouragement"
"Well, l don't know" said the man.
ager, doubtfuly, "as we are very well
organized Just now. Still, if there is
any thing specially worthy about any
plan you might have"
"Worthy!n exclaimed the stranger
reproachfully, "more than worthy
Worth money, too, as well as great adj
Junction to cause. Simple mechanical
device, SIR"
"Oh," said the manager, petulantly
taking up his pen, eve depend entirely
upon moral suasion.
"Nothing immoral bout this, SIR
said the stranger, rising, but still per
sisting. True, little innocent dccep
/ ton. Look here. pick up this paper
weight. Hold it firmly. Lay it down
Very simple. Look agrin. do some
thing to something with life hand inside
coat pocket. Pick up paper weigh
again but drop it. Can't raisd in mort
inch. SeeT
The manager intimated that he saw
but did not comprehend.
"Apparatus for mechanical cure o
drunkenness. Fine wires. Arrange j
i'm mans coat. Man goes into liquo
store. Orders cocktails, milk punch
gin-fizz, whisky sour, John Collins
masked battery, what not Takes glass
Drops from nerveless hand. Glas
breaks, bartender's shirt front spoiled
man fired out. Man cries shakes.
Goes home. Sick. Reforms. Neve
drinks again. Cure costs wife or fam
lily So. Apparatus manufactured TO
thirty-fve cents"
"That is certainly novel and amusing
if nothing more," said the manager.E !
"My own invention," continued tn,
reformer. "Tried il on hundreds -
Never failed New crusade organized
out West. Tailors secret members o
organization, Sell them my Drunk
, ards Mechanical Salvation Apparatus.
, They put them in coats. Families pa
tailor extra 50 privately. Three gin
5 mills closed in two days"
"Indeed" exclaimed the manager.
"Try it YOURSELF" said the reformcr
5 "See, no humbug. wear it for illus
tration, one side only -right-so ca
! work it with left hand"
AS he said this he produced from on
Q of his pockets small round box, on
c of which, when he had removed tn
a cover, sprang a mass OF glittering fin
=. wire
e "Now," said the new apostle of ten
e perance, "take off coat please; sho'
0 you how it works."
/ The manager removed his coat an
+ his new friend politely offered to hol
i it for him. In minute or two the al
/ paratus was arranged and the manage
0 put on his coat.
+ "Woulnn't know there was anythin
e in your coat, would youT' asked Il
c mail.
It mo, / really would not"
o "Try to pick up paper weight" sal
d the glib-tongued retormer.
Il The manager tried, first with oil
l. hand and then with the other, but
G dropped each time before he could Ii
h it clear from the desk.
e "Try to put hands in breast peck
d of coat"
1t The manager couldn't do it.
r "Now, see," said the reformer, "cf
;, order liquor, but can't drink it OF pr
for it. If you were drunkard, nov
you'd think you had shakes, wouldr
your"
81 should really think something w
= wrong about 'em. Your apparatus
an ingenious one and OBSERVER trial
n "You may keep it, said the reforI
a err. "Show it to friends. Get 'em i
Z terested in it. Call round in day
!. two and see if we can't do somcthiI
Il together. Good day."
"A minute later the apostle was spec
u ..xx~ b.. h. al 100 IrAs
!, and examining the contents ola lars
q pocket-book.
n "Not bad haul" said he, as
arose to get out at the Blocker stro
station. "Thirty-five dollars in gree
" backs and certified check for half
: century more?