Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1879-05-23
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Boy WANTED.-A few mornings since
lady living on Clifford street answered
the bell to find bulky boy with an inno-
cent face and peach-colored ears standing
en- the steps. He explained that he wan
ted to see her husband, and she answered
that her husband had left for his Office.
''I'm the boy who sweeps out all the off
ces where he ISL said the boy as he backed
down the steps, ''and this morning found
letter in the big scrap-sack."
swell, you can leave it, she replied.
"I-I guess I hadn't BETTER" he half
whispered, as he showed the small pink
envelope.
''Boy-that is-boy, let me see that let
ter!' she said as she advance and extend
en- her hand.
'sOh! 'twouldnt be 'zactly right, ma am,
cause know he'd gin me fifty cents"
''See here, boy" she said, as she felt for
the dollar bill left her to buy coffee and
tea, ''take this, give me the letter and
don't say word to Mr.. about find
ing it,
II don't believe it's much of a letter.
he remarked.
"Never mind-.hand it over-here's your
money!'
''Mebbe there hain't word of writing
in ma'ain."
s'Here- give me the letter-now go!"
She took it and entered the house and
the boy with peach-colored ears flew down
the street like Gamble going to dinner.
In about forty seconds the woman came
out, looked up and down the street, and
the expression around her mouth was not
happy and peaceful. The boy had seemed
TO doubt that there was any writing inside
the envelope, but she was not quite pre-
pared to tear it open and find printed
document commencing: whereas, de-
fault having been made in the conditions
of certain mortgage" &c. She wants to
hold another interview with the lad. If
this meets his eye he will please call be-
tween the hours of eight and ten O'Clock
a. M, when she feels the strongest
erost Free Press.
Household Departments" are very good
adiuncta to newspaper in their way, when
edited by woman, but the male journalist
who dabbles with the heaven-insplred mys-
tories of cooking runs frightful risk.
The editor of the "Weekly Petaluma Pea
vine" started column Of that kind re-
Gently. and few days afterward fierce
looking female came into the office; care
fully concealing::some object behind her
apron. care you the man that published
that new and improved way to make cur
rant cake?'; He said he was. You said
to mix washing soda with the flour, and
sstir in little cOrn-meal and little sweet
oil to give it consistency" ''I-I-believe
so.'' ''And to add fifteen eggs and some
molasses, and two ounces of gum arabic,
and set it in cool place to bake?'' IL
think that was it," swell, take that,
thenl" and the indignant fioored
him with weapon that felt like sand
club, but which he felt in his heart must
have been half-baked hunk of cake con-
structed On the s'Peavine' pattern.
A married woman, who lost her voice
fifteen years ago, and didn't know how to
write. recovered her speech last week.
The first words addressed to her husband
were: Now George Henry. want you to
tell me where you were on the night of
September %, 1866, that YOU didn't come
in until two in the morning p George
Henry replied. Il don't remember and
we don't suppose he did.
A Chinaman in California, whose life
was insured for large amount, was &C.
riously hurt by falling from a wagon.
There was some doubt Of his ever getting
better, and at length one of his friends
wrote to the insurance company. S'Charlee
half dead, likse half money"
A young lady in pursuit of stockings
was asked by the clerk what number she
wore, to which the maid replied: 1.-TWO.
of course; do you think I've got a wooden
leg, just because you've got wooden
head?"
ma" said little girl. ''if you'll let me
buy some candy I'll be good" "My child, )"
solemly responded the mother. "you should
not be good for pay; you should be good
for nothing"
As little child peeped through the
blind and saw the star Of the evening in
the Western sky. she exclaimed, sob.
look, mama the moon has got little baby"
ssDoctor,'' said gentleman to his pastor,
how can I best train up my boy in the
way he should go?' ''By going that way
yourself blandly replied the pastor.
That s'sittle birds dc in their nests
agree is no credit to the little birds. be-
cause it would never do for them to fail
out.
The man whe sighed for the wings of
dove probably did not know that the leg
were much better eating.
A young man who has tried it suggests
that before you pop the question it's just
as well to question the pop.
Linen busters dyed black de not deceive
men who know what good overcoats are.
They are too thin.
A scolding woman. like train conduc-
Gf,As