The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-08-28
prrH M POINT.

A POOR relation-A story badly told,
A BAD thing to sharpenAThe water
edge.
A H1eHLY-coLoRED tale-The pei
cocks.
SOME men are like brooks, they ara
always murmuring.
WANTED-A life-boat that will float
on a sea Of troubles.
DOES an intellectual savage have q
mental reservation?
A PRoFANE upstartlThe mar who
sits down on a bent pin.
To PUT a carpet down, a man should
be a shrewd tack-tician. =
NONE but the brave deserve the hair,
is how the aborigine puts it.
The grocer offered him a frozen ham,
but he said he'd rather not take the cold
shoulder from any one.
No ONE need get discouraged if he
only remembers that he will always be
worth $25 anyway-to medical students.
"THEY fred two shots at him." wrote
an Irish reporter; "the first shot killed
him, but the second shot was not fatal"
THEY were fishing off the coast, when
the fair one of the party pointed to a
sail in the distance, and asked, George,
what kind of o vessel is that?" He
leaned over, stole a kiss from her lips,
and answered calmly, "That's a fishing
smack"
"AND how does Charley like going to
SCHOOL," kindly inquired q good man
Of q little 6-year-old boy, who wal watt
ing, with a tin can in hand, the advent
of another dog. II like goin' well
'nough,7 replied the embryo statesman,
ingenuously, @but I don't like stayin'
after I git there
"IF I were as hard up as you are,' re
marked one citizen to another this week,
@Id get out of it in some way if I had
to beg or STEAL @What, Ibeg? Isteal?"
exclaimed the other, indignantly-"Td
sooner-sooner get trustedp And he
brought out the sentence in q way that
showed he meant it.-Chicago Journal
FRENCH NEWSPAPER WIT.
A GENTLEMAN accidentally steps on a
dainty poodle led by an elegant female.
aStupidi A little more and you would
have crushed Fido." @Ahl If I had
crushed him I would have replaced
him." @You fiatter yourself"
A BOHEMIAN to q rich paterfamiias
Monsieur, I love your daughter, ane
have come to ask her hand" @Are yoi
sure you really love herr" @Ah, sir,
adore herin @Well I have two daugh
tiers; which is the one you lover.
Whichever you pleased"
A DANDY arrives ct 8 O'Clock at his
~uncle's, who is giving a grand dinner.
Excuse me if I'm q little late" said he,
shut o lot of us took advantage of the
brief interval of sunshine to make a lit
tie donkey party to Montmorency." His
uncle, coldly: @And who rode you?'
THEY had been explaining thoroughly
to Calino the mechanism of the loco
motive. II understand all that perfect.
w. said Calino, shut there is just one
thing about the devilish thing that ]
cannot make out" @What is hat ?"
aHow it manages to move along without
horses"
A GENTLEMAN, at the funeral of his
fife, was annoyed to see the carriages
containing the friends of the deceased
get terribly mixed up. II knew per
fectly we'll" he said with a tone of dis
appointment, 4that this day weuldn'
go off without some unpleasant Incl
dent!"
aMA, has Sister Floy aver Travelled
any?" @No, child, no" @Then, when
vas a-lyin' under the sofa Sunday night
and sister and Mr.. John came in from
church and was a-settin' in the bis
rockin. cheer, how come her to say tina
the incest land she ever was in was Lap
land?n