Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-01-11
COurier-JOurnal Rife Balls.

is most too much like using atwo-quart
funnel in three ounce vial. But
the Standard ought to know that the
art OF whistiing was designed by an all.
wise Providence expressly to cause
breaks or missing links i'll the small
boys endless Chain of mischief; tina,
when he is whistlIng he is possibly in
no other mischief, aud that when he is
not whistlIng he is in-the Lord only
| knows what other mischief. AS long
as the small boy is whistlinS in the
neighborhuoi of the cupboard or clos
ct, his mother, balf-soling his trousers
/ III the next room, broods ON III II dream
OF faucled security, but when that
whistle ceases
"Wl,u slcuca like poultice comes
To heal the blows ui souud,"
she Immediately seizes the customary
instrument OF torture and rushes to the
protection OF her blackberry jelly, jam
and preserves.
The published lists of bankrupts du-
RUG the last few days Of August indi-
cate an amount Of business smash and
and financial pulverIzation in some
quarters that was dreadful to see. And
the most curious part of the whole
thing was the ease with which, in many
cases, you could take the amount of IL
bankrupt's Liabilities and tell there
from the exact amount of his assets.
All you had to do, where the liabilities
We're represented by one or two or three
figures ana u parcel of cyphers, was
simply to write the sum backwards,
ana the result gave you the assets.
Take for instance, the case of the Chit
cagO firm of Gofurem IL Swindltm: La
billtieS, So, 100 600, assets, SUI, 900 10;
or that of Garotem u Robe III: liabilities,
81 100000, assets. $4,000, 90 |. The
only objection to this method or rule
was that i'll more than half the cases it
made the amount of the assets several
hundred per cent too large.
Itrequires little of either rhyme or rea-
son to procure IA divorce in illinois, the
whole thing being lett to the discretion
of the jud |. e; and as he seldom has any
Discretion, the silken tie, grown to be u
rusty, red hot iron wire cable, is soon
severed. At least, such would seem
to he the state of affairs. At any rate,
it matters very little upon what grounds
the applicant bases his appeal Tor dis.
union. For instance, woman over
there recently applied for divorce,
and actually obtained it, too, though
having no other ground upon which to
base her application than that her hus-
band had been 80 pititully indiscrcet
as to surreptltiously borrow her accu-
mutation OF rainy day cash and elope
with his step-mother.
Buffalo pays the principals of her
grammar schools-male, 81 400, female,
$500. The man does no more work
tuan the woman-perhaps less-aud
gets more than twice us much pay for
1t. but Batfalo is not alone III the per
petrutlon Of this unChrIstian outrage
upon woman. Nearly every other
American city, as we'll, deserves to lie
kicked to death by grassnoppers for tie
same thing.
1t is said that thirty seven men have
been employed for II year in making
for the IL mains of the late A. L. Stew
art II burial vault, for which the mar
bic alone cost $40, 900. The carvings,
in both design amt finish, will be ca
quisitely beautiful, and when com
plcted it will be the finest piece OF
/ =
hundred millions III cash, we had done
no more for heaven and humanity thLn
did the "ntrchant 'plince" OF Broad
way, we should teel little too con-
splcuous III crawling out of SO gorge
Gus mansolem when heaven 3 thuuuer
shakes the would below.
What an admirable lesson for the en-
courae, emeut of pennlless though am
bilious youths Is conveyed i'll tbs story
OF the man up Ill OHIO who started out
thirty years ago with the determine
ton to make fortune of 81 800 900,
and who, by that indominable get up
and git" which lends vitality aud tone
to the classic maxim, perSererdntlUm
rincH 0mnia, has already succeeded in
accommodating the 10, and, still fresh and
vigorous, is camping on the trail of the
five naughts! Such ale the triumphs
Of virtuous toll.
ave may boast even now, not that
st. Louis will be one of the most beau.
tiful cities in the Union in the dim flu
ture, but that it deserves that rank to-
day. Don't bother about the coal-dilt
and the dust and the mud. st. Louis
Republican.
Such advice is useless in st. Louis,
where the citizen puts on his quarterly
socks and his semi-annual shirt and is
sublimely indifferent to such trifies as
coal dirt, dust and mud.
Linen and cotton goods, by undergo.
ing certain chemical process. will
yield more than their weight of crys- |
tallized sugar. We have always |
thought, while looking at beautiful
girl, daintily dressed in these fabrics,
that they contained large per cent of !
unadulterated sweetness. /
The temperance baronet, Sir Wilfred
Lawson. sty les spiri nous liquors 1.-The
devil in solution" and the Albany
.oa,n0i says: 1.-The devil III solution
is not bad" Sometimes quite as bad,
we should say, rs the devil in any 9th
er shape.
The cadets at West Point retired
into winter quarters some ten DAYS ago
1t is to he hoped that none Of them
were seriously frost bitten before they
got in ont of the weather