Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-10-12
WIT AND HUMOR,.
Lost at seattle sight of land.

Women dress to kill; butchers kill ia
dress.
A motto for policemen: Let us club to-
gether.
The commercial editor reports cheese
''fairly active"
Ii man waits too long for something
to turn up, it will be his toes.
How to prevent shad-bones from lodg
ing in your thrcat-eat fried liver.
"A' must be the sweetest letter in the
alphabet, because the B is always afte]
A debating association in MICHIGAN if
known as the Kalamazoo Logical socie.
ty.
The Gear says he don't usually issue
such edicts, but this is an ukase to deal
with.
An>exchange has poem in which Sol
ONION is made to rhyme with backgam-
mon.
A correspondent wishes to know wheth-
er circulating library ought to be kept
IN stationery sto1e.
Mrs. Partington says has she hunted and
hnuted and can't find out who said, ssThat
Ruth crushed to earth shall rise again"
An exchange makes "smiles'' rhyme
with "boils.' This is ridiculous. A
man who has boil doesn't sm1le-unIess
spiritually.
la is now intimated that the reason
that Samson carried off the gates of GAIA
was because they would not give BIN the
gate money.
There are some things that are as we'll
kept dark. Itisn't policy to throw light
upon such subject as an open barrel of
gunpoWder, for instance Yonkers Ca
zette.
The jury that held an inquest over the
body OF man frozen to death brought
III a verdict ''that the thermometer was
guilty of murder in the tenth degree-be-
low Zero"
The Zulu evening toilet consists of q
tan and ring in the nose Ex.1 What
extravaganza! They should be satisfied
with the fan IN the nose, and give the
ring to the poor.
Bumptious old gent Gn directorial
tone): "Ah! conductor, what are We
waiting for?" Conductor with un-
concern): "Waiting for the train to go
on, sir.' Old gent retires.
Eminent counsel: eyes, gentlemen of
the jury, you will, know YOU will restore
my prosecuted client to the arms of his
wife and little ones, who-' The Court
''Your client is bachelor.''
Married coachnen are in active demand
by wealthy gentlemen who are fathers of
manageable daughters. "Coachees''
having half-a-dozen children have the
first pick Of choice situations.-[Boston
Courier.
1t IS our good nature and not fine fur
nlture that makes home attractive New
York News. But when all the bed-slats
fall out of place, and waken you UP with
a crash about midnight. what becomes Of
your good nature?
In Siam the penalty for lying is to
have the mouth sewed up. If this Gus
tom prevailed in this country our sewing
girls would have so much to do that they
would soon be as prosperous as if they
were Misunderstanding journal.
Yesterday, when an organ grinder ap-
peared On the streets wearing a gold
Watch-chain, twelve mechanics quit work
and resolved to become musicians. It's
just such little things as this that demon
allze labor Philadelphia Chronicle.
An lrishman went to the theatre for
the first time. Just as the curtain de-
scended on the first act boiler in the
basement exploded: and he was blown
through the roof, coming down in the
next street. After coming to his senses
he asked. An what piece do yez play
mkt
''Melancholy sight, Mr.. Spiber," said
prohibit6ry friend as an individual
heavily loaded with beer lurched against
them. Yes" said the inter1ogated, che
is morn FULL" and the cold-water man
muttered something that sounded like
"d---n fool" after they had parted.
The following answer was given to an
examiner at an examination: "What do
you know of the patriarchial Adam?''
"He was the father OF Lot, and had two
wives, Hlsmale and t'other Hayger: one
became pillow Of salt in the day time
and the other pillow of fire at night"
The first walking match on record
must have been when Satan went up and
down the earth. Don't see 1t? Why, YES;
peripatetic Luciter-walking match eh?
Il St Albans Advertiser. The villain who
perpetrated that wouldn't be going
around Lucifer proper spirit prevailed in
the community where he lives.
An Englishman was Boosting to a
Yankee that they had book IN the
British museum which was once owned
by Cicero. 'Oh that amt nothin," re-
torted the Yankee, Gin the museum in
Boston they've got Adams family bible
with the record Of marriages, births, and
deaths complete.
A lady belonging to the washing
interest was arrested with another fol-
stealing under garments, being asked what
crime she was charged with, replied that
she didn't know, but believed it was
something about parsnips criminis. al
though she never stole parsnip in the
whole course of her life.
Lady: "You have not been out to SER
vics yet; therefore you have no charac-
teri" Applicant: ono, mum; but I've
three school board certitcuts.'' "Lady:
"Ah. well, that's something. Are they
for honesty, cleanliness, or" Applicant:
"No, please mum, for litteratoor, jograf-
fly and Free and drorin.'
A ragged-looking pedestrian came to
the back door of the Dunshudder mansion
yesterday afternoon and the hired girl
shouted: "We've nothin' for tramps.'
"Fair lady, pause,'' said the visitor, :!!I'm
not tramp nor beggar.' "What are ye,
then?" "Madam, I'm solicitor general.
An Old Joke in a New Robe