Sharp County record., 1879-02-13
"GOING TO SCHOOL"

u oHilNu A'lNbtSo 'SN'A'>NN'
in return | will"
| had reached this point the other
evening when there came ring at the
door-bell, and after minute discoV-
cred that Mr.. Old Fogy had decided on
another attack. He meant to give me
fits this time. He brought along two
or three teachers with him, and they at
once walked into my school-room. L
did at first have a sign of " State PrlS-
onn over the door, so as to make 1t
seem like regular school-house to the
pupils, but as they insisted upon regard
ing it as a novelty | removed the sign.
"Well, you have been teaching, see"
observed Mr.. Old Fogy.
ayes, six of these children belong IN
the neighborhoOd, and don't attend any
regular school" ,
awe don't exactly agree on the school
question, you knOw!" said Mr.. Ola
Fogy. "You did rather stump me the
other night, but I'd like you to ask some
of those teachers few questions"
every well. Mr. Blank, how many
bushels of wheat will make q barrel of
four?"
"Why, that isn't regular question"
he replied as he looked round.
"Isn't it? Your arithmetic says that
sixty pounds of wheat make a buShel,
ard because it does not say how many
bushels make q barrel of flour the
farmer who is figuring on his years
supply must be left in ignorance. Here
is Charlie, only 8 years old-he may an
swer."
"From four and halfto five bushels"
the boy replied.
"Now, Mr.. Blank, can you name the
more prominent starsP"
ttI can, sir"
81 thought so; but can you tell me
how mary spokes there are in the front
wheel of buggy-can any of youW
81 protest." cried Mr.. Old Fogy, but
they didn't answer for all that.
"Well, Mr.. Blank, can you translate
LatinP"
"l can, sir
"No doubt of it; but can you tell me
now W pIcSeINo Cluel
"There you 90 again !" cried Mr.. Old
Fogy, but none of them could tell.
"Are you familiar with cube root,
Mr.. Blank?"
81 ann
"But can you tell me the salary of
our GovernorP"
None of them could.
"Try some of the ladies'" suggested
Mr.. Old Fogy, after few more ques-
tions.
"Allright. Miss Blank, are you good
in algebra?"
Il think So"
"And can you tell me how many
yards of cotton to buy for pair of pill
low-slipsP"
"Why, no."
"Do you know what will take stains
out of table-cloth, or grease spots out
of a carpetP'
"No, sir"
"Can you direct a cook to make pie
crust or mix biscuit or breadP"
"No, sir"
"Do you know the average length of
lace curtains?"
"No, sir"
"Can you mix mustard plaster, tell
me ready family antidote for poison,
suggest a family remedy for cold or a
sore throat, tell me how many yards in
burch of dress braid, the number of
yards of ticking to make bedtick, a
way to remove paint from windows, or
how to make cruel for the sick?'
"No, sir"
"What are you driving atP" indig-
nantly demanded Mr.. Old Fogy.
"I'll let my class 60 and tell you.
Let me first remark that | haven't
asked question which these children
here can't answer. This little girl will
promptly answer every thing | have
asked Miss Blank, and yet she is not 10
years old. A month ago told her that
alum and brown sugar mixed together
would relieve Group. A week ago, at
dead of night, reused from sleep by her
parents and the walls of her sick broth
er, she prepared the remedy while her
father was after the doctor and her
mother excited and helpless, and in half
an hour the Group was gone. You ask
me what I'm driving at? Women are
called helpless, and we do not look to
see them have presence Of mind! Why
are they SO? Simply because they may
know algebra by heart and yet not
know what is an antidote for almost
every poison. They learn astronomy;
and yet don't know what is good for a
burn, or how to stop the nose-bleed.
They know all about botany, and yet
can not tell what to do for person who
has tainted away"
"But I'm not a housekeeper," pro-
tested Miss Blank.
''No; well, every woman looks for
ward to marriage. They were born to.
Every female expects to marry rich,
but not one in five hundred can so mar
4l,o ,.o-,,Nrc;E;ls+v-