Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1879-12-04
ALL AORTS.

| "AFTER 1880, what p asks an exchange
newspaper. 1881, perhaps.
! WHAT the Democratic party needs most is
| not Candidate but receiver.
HoRA1lo SEYMOUR, next May, will reach
| the Venerable age OF seventy years.
MISS TRAVIS, a relative of Mr.. John
Bright, has reached the venerable aye Ut 100
years.
SHAKESPEARE was married when he was
18, Dante at 70, and Brigham Young when
he Was Is, 19. 20, 81, 20, %, "a, and 50 on.
AT recent review at Strasburg, many of
the soldiers left behind them their boots in
the mud as they marched past the Emperor.
PRESIDENT GREvY is opposed to capital
punishment. He COMMITTED the Sentences of
five persons condemned to death recently, in
one day.
A PAPER in the neighborhood of Roches-
ter advertlses church pew for sale, ''com-
manding beautiful view of nearly the Whole
congregation.
The Philadelphia Chronicle thus consoles
the local Democracy: ''All lost, save honor!
But, thank heaven, peanuts sill sell in Phil
adelphia at 8 cents per quart"
-Four New Jerseys tanners, accompanied
by i've dogs, three scythes and a long -hand-
led shovel, are supposed to be match tor
the average rural burglar.
MAJOR JAMES MULL1GAN touched re-
sponslve chord curing the late Campaign in
Virginia, when he said, II would lather owe
man all my lite than cheat him out ot
cent"
ACCORDING to DR.. Gray, of the Interior,
one of the attractive features of the Prtsby-
terian Assembly, at Pi,tsburg, was "a laoy
who screeched and squaled in a most artistic
and beautiful manner.
MOODY and Sapkey will begin their revival
work in st. Louis in about two weeks. They
have proper appreciation of the magnitude
of the task before them, and therefore have
made preparations for remaining all winter.
Mr.. RAIL-, of the great Greek firm, who
died lately, leaving $1,750,O00 personally,
eft large legacies to the poor boxes of the
London Police Courts. These boxes are
practical charity, which brings in a steady
revenue.
INSTRUCTOR in Latin: s:Mr. B. of what
Ceres the goddess ?" Mr.. B: ''She was the
9 GODDESS of marriage" Instructor; ''Oh,
no; of agriculture" Mr.. B. Cooking per:
picked: "Why I'm sure my book says she
was the goddess of husbandry."
MILE. VERA SAssUNToH, the Russian
heroine, il said to have just had wondrous
piece of good fortune. A wealthy merchant
Of Yambov, who lately died leaving no near
relatives, beQueathed his whole fortune of
500, 600 roubles to her, in pity for her suffer-
ing and admiration of her bravery.
PRESIDENT LINCOLN once listened patiently
while friend read u long manuscript TO him,
Ind who then asked: "What do you think
If it7 How will It take?" The President
reflected little while and then answered:
We'll, for people who like that kind of
hing, think that is just about the kind of
hing they'd like" ..e
The messenger who took to the new Khe-
live Of Egypt the Sultan's firman of investi-
ure was handsomely rewarded for his SER
ices. The Kbedive gave him $50. 900; the
zhedive's wife (the present Khedive, it will
'e remembered, has only one wife), $780,
Egyptian Government $40. 000-in all $780,
700. The messenger is ready for another lob
# the same sort. s.I
One of the small boys who aid to make
lfe burden to the San Francisco citizen by
orciDg advertising bills on him in the streets
vas annoying people on Market street the
ther morning when Grant and friend came
ut of the Palace doorway bound for PROM
made. The gamin pestered the twain to ac-
ept one of bis handbills, and, on its being
everal times declined, he suddenly thrust
ne inside the Generals vest and rushed off.
In indignant spectator stopped the youth
nd said: "What do you mean by such inn
ndence. yon young rascal? Don't you
NOW that's General Grant?" "Oh! it is, is
- was the composed reply. ''Well. all
We got tn say il. that be puts on blasted
ight of frills for guest"