Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1879-09-18
Fun.

! Fun.
Motto for bakers: Dare to dough right.
Toronto Graphic.
A cold wave-Putting aside an ice
question.-Hackensack Republican.
The postage-stamp knows its place
after it has been licked oncs.
The flower named bachelors button"
Is so called because it is apt to fall off.
N. 0. PicGyOne.
Have you mother-in- law ?" asked
a man of disconsolate looking person.
NO." he replied, but have father
in jail. ALBANY Journal.
Women can never play ball satisfac-
torily until they are permitted to use
their aprons to catch ith.--BgfaLo Er-
press.
Autumn leaves will wear the same
colors this year as last There is no
fashionable nonsense about nature
Ne'o Dreams PicaQuae.
Little boy at the opening of the pro-
posed spelling match: Lets start
fair, grandmother, you take Nebuchad-
nezzar and I'll take cat"
Correspondent =" Will the editor
please inform me where my family can
go on Sundays and be cool and comfort
able without danger of being crowded o"
Answer, by the Rochester Democrat: Go
to church.
A faithful brother in a Fairfield
Conn. church recently prayed for the
absent members "who were PROSTATE
on beds Of sickness and chairs of we'll
ness"
In 1919 ninety young women were
imported from England and sold in the
colony of Virginia as wives, at 1000
pounds of tobacco each! This was the
origin of many of the F. F. VS..
A young man sent 25 cents to New
York firm for the purpose of arning
chow to get along without blotter in
writing" and received this reply:
"Write with a lead pencil. Rochester
Democrat.
Nothing is made in vain!" exclaims
the divine; but the next moment, as
an aggregation of silk, lace and feathers
sweeps up the aisle, he realizes that
something is maiden vain.- Yonkers
G0zette.
When filling a cavity dentists some
times place a dam in the patients
IN Mouth. SVl o. . IL - L ~:z7sy ovfra ct
ed, the dentist is relieved of that duty.
The patient supplies all that are requlr-
ed.-Boston Transcript.
A great many morally inclined busi-
ness men will tell you that the people
of to-day are not as honest as they were
in their time-but they II shove a bogus
quarter on a near-sighted man jusS as
quick as man of more modern make.
-E2naira Gazette.
We have observed that the papers
of the country invariably print that
tender poem beginning:
1.-The melancholy days have come,''
at just the season of the year when the
average wife returns from her summer
trip.-S. Louis Times Journal.
Some folks wonder why it is that
man worth quarter of million will
step off the sidewalk into the mud to
pick up a lost cent. The reason is
plain enough. He does it to prevent
man worth half q million from getting
hold of the cash.-Detroh Free Press.
The Concord School of Philosophy
has let up; and as Joseph Cook don't
commence his lectures until Winter, it
is feared that the permeative sense of
oughtness, as homologated in soul
pervading synthetic development in ac-
cord with the environments of fperson.
ality will of necessity remain dormant
in the interval.-SomerUite Mass
Journal.
In an eating-house on Jefferson av-
enue were four or five men at table,
and single man leaning against the
wall and asleep. The party was dis
cussing the subject of horse-racing, and
one of them finally declared: 81 do not
believe there has been one honest race
for money for ten years past" A sec
ond was rather neutral in his opinions,
out the third brought his fist down on
the table ard roared out: g l tell you
this corruption must be stopped, but
what is the remedy?" The stranger
opened his eyes as the dishes Jared,
and, slowly rising and walking over to
the last speaker, he pointed his finger
at him and softly said : " Attend the
primaries-blast you attend the prj-
N, rIoc ~ Defro;f ETree Preee