The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1879-10-22
1'HB 00LonHzss It11

7B2s II al 1 x '7-~--7--- ----vs 4 -
Colonel Bangs Is very bald. and. ii ors3er. IS
induce his hair to grow again, be- i ,,a;sy :
very excellent article called \. Hair. vioor,j
uponIhis scalp.
~ week or two ago he was siiratnoned as x
tJuryman In case IN the Circuit Cont. and
upon the day Of trial, just before she hon, =
which the court met, he rem bered that he had
not applied the Vigor 3 to his head that
morning.
lie had only q few minutes to snare. but he
flew upstairs, and into the dark oloaors yvhoro
DO Kept the bottle, and. pouring some Amid
upon q sponge, he rubbed his head energetic
ally.
by some mishap the colonel got hold of the
wrong bottle, and the substance with which,
he Inundated his scalp was not q vigor. ;, bu,,
the black varnish with which Mrs. Ramos
decorated her shoes ss
However, Bangs did not perceive the miss
take, but darted down stairs put on his baf
and walked of to the coprt room.
1t was a very cold morning. and bv tho
time the colonel reached his destination the
varnish was stiff as a stone his hat glued fast
to the skin, and his efforts to take it off gave
him frightful pain. 3sN lla ,378
just then he heard his name called by the
crier. Eaa sssn $3.50 fa,s
He was Wild with approximations Of coming
trouble but he took his seat In the Jury hoy.
and determined to explain the situation to the
Court at the earliest possible moment.
Presently the clerk screamed 4sist
Hats off in courti' saa
The colonel grew crimson In the face; 81
/" Hats off yelled tho clerk again. and
the Judge IN, and, as his eyes rested on Bangs,
he said
+" Persons in the court room must remove
their hats
Bangs" May II please your Honor, keep
my hat Oh because"
Judge Well, sir, you must take it off
now.
Bangs" But I say keep it on because
L.
Judge" We don't want any arguments
upon the subject, sir. Remove the hat this
moment, sir =
Bangs" Judge, il you win only give me
chance To-
Judge" This is intolerable Do you
mean to insult the Court, sir ?, Take your
hat OH, sir, or win fine You for contempt"
Bangs" Well, it's very hard / can't say
word by way of ---''
Jrdgu twarrn1yJ r." This is too much -
You've get more audacty than mule. Mr..
Clerk, fine that man fifty dollars -
Bangs" Judge that is rough on me
| | -
Judge Gin furious rage)-- Won't do it
yet Why you impudent scoundrel. I've
notion to--Mr. Clerk, fine him one hundred
dollars more, and Mr.. Jones' you may SO and
take the hat off by force"
Then the tipstaf approached Bangs, and
hit the hat with his stick.
1t didn't moye.
Then he struck it again, and caved fn tho
crown, but ii still remained on Ba ngs head.
Then he picked upa volume of g Brown on
Evidence" and mashed the crown niilat.
Then Bangs .sprang at him, and shaking his
fist under the nose Of Jones, no shrieked
You mutton, headed scullion I've half
a notion to kill you If that fellow on the
bench had any sense, he could see that the
hat is glued fast | | can't take it off if 1
wanted to-,
Then the Judge removed the fines, and OK
cuse him, and Bangs went home.
He slept in that hat for a week, aud, even
when it came off, the top Of his head looked
as black as IL modification had set in.