Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-01-24
The Facts About Sam Snyder.
Max Adeler.

Max Adeler
We were all sitting out on the piazza
in front Of Blyler's store, and Abner
Byng was there, with his legs cooked
up against a post and his chair tilted
back. DR.. Murray was running his
eye down column Of the county
paper, when he suddenly said
" Halloal This is queer! Why, il
says that an English chemist has sue.
ceeded in distilling whisky from saw.
dustw
"That's nothing" said Abner Byng
Tipping his thumb.
How do you mean, nothing" asked
the Doctor.
"Oh, it's old, awful old. / knew that
years ago. Did you ever meet Sam
Snyder?'
" No, never met him.
"Well, Sam was hard drinker--
must have rum by one means or an
other. He had no money and nobody
to trust him or treat him. So Sam
somehow ascertained that whisky could
be made out of sawdust, and do you
know what he'd do?'
"What?"
"Hc'd get 50 drunk oil fcnce-rail
and cross-cut saw that he couldn't
tell COW from sugar-cured ham.
Put him near to q woodpile and Il saw
buck, and let him alone, and before
Ii O'Clock he'd turn on the most de
licious mint julcps you ever tasted"
Easily done, was it,"
g Easily Why, one time his family
tried to keep him sober by putting him
ont on the roof and keeping him there;
and do you know what Sam did? Got
Il boy to tie u wash-boiler and four feet
Of lead pipe to q string and Sam fished
'em up, and in three days he had turn
ed every single into cocktails, and he
fell through into the garnet iii such IL
frightfnl condition of intoxication that
they had to give him electric shocks
from forty-two cell battery to bring
him hack to sciDu:ness.'}
" You know this to be u fact, do
you ?"
Certainly; was there. Why, that
man acquired n preference for liquor
made from wood, and three times, to
my knowledge, lie got mania II potu
from consumption Of distilled pie
boards and potato-mashers. He drank
up four sets of chair-legs; and, one
Fourth Of July, when his wife stopped
his destruction Of the furniture, he
celebrated the day by calling in three
or four friends to drink new kind of
energetic brandy that he'd just made
out OF window-sill and a clothes-prop.
Drink Why, sir, | pledge you my
word, Snyder III single winter drank
up smoke-house, three washtubs, and
q front door. Nothing could stop him
when he got going"
(" Why did he prefer domestic utens-
ils?"
lie didn't. There WAS u wood out
back Of his house that belonged to His
aunt. Sam d 50 out there with 4 meat
saw or any kind Of Il saw he could get,
and III two years he had stimulated his
system with eight chestnut trees, four
pcrsimmons, one oak, and fifteen sap
lings Of various kinds. Trimmed that
grove out so that his aunt couldn't
rent it to picnic parties. Nearly broke
the old !ady's heart, too"
"Did lie kill himself Drinking"
Well, not exactly. I'll tell you how
il was. Ii seems that he was haunted
for long time with the idea that if he
could distill the Presbyterian church
sleeple he could turn out an article that
"a bear Il resemblance, somehow, to old
apple brandy. Queer, wasn't il? But
the man was not exactly right his
mind was diseased. So one night he
got on the roof Of the church with u
ladder to steal the stceple. When he
got there dunno how it was, but the
idea seemed to strike him to taste the
thing, maybe to see if he was right
about the flavor, and-he must have
been wild when lie did it-he actually
swallowed the weather-cock, and there
lie stuck, whirling around I'LL night rs
the wind struck him. Dead? lie was
deader II Martin Van Buren, when
they come to take him down.
Gle swallowed the weather-cock. did
he?7
Yes, sir; swallowed it.
well, that wasn't half MS hard to
swallow Is your whole yarn said Bly,
Ter.
You don't doubt my veracity, |
hope?' said Abner. You do Well,
if you have Il quarter about you, it will
soothe my wounded feelings. ! only
want a."
Just Mt this juncture Blyler kicked
Mr.. Byng off the porch, and Abner
walked away to the next tavern with \
faint hope that the bartender might
give his credit one more chance.
Nix. EUGENE SCHUYLER, Of whom we
heard so much i'll connection with the
Bulgarian massacres = year or two
since, has been withdrawn from Con
to assume the position Of
American consul at Birmingham, Eng
land. Mr.. Schuyler is said to possess
III exceptionally thorough knowledge
Of Russian and Turkish politics, is y
Russian scholar, speaks three or four
European languages, knows Asia, has
written the best book on that central
part of il just now in dispute, and has
withal achieved an European reputa-
ion Ms diplomatist-hence the wonder
hat he should be assigned tine duty OF
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