Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-03-21
Courier-JOurnal Rifle Balls.


"is an infallible cure for diphtheria.
1t certainly must be; we have heard it
pronounced an infallible cure for every
thing else.
1t is said that within three years
Cincinnati brewer has given twelve
hundred kegs of beer to charity. They
say charity hides a multitude of sins,
and she certainly does, too, if she
"hides all that beer.
"Tie your ears in q bow-knCt under
your chin" says the Syracuse Times.
"and they will be kept from the frost. I"
The editor of the Times evidently takes
it for granted that his readers all have
ears very nearly as long as his own.
Mrs. Livermore has lecture entitled,
"What shall we do with our daugh-
ters?" If her daughters are rich and
pretty, or even pretty rich dry so, she
can get an answer to that conundrum
from almost any young man she wants.
A New York paper talks about Gin
cinnati's first love, the pig" Which is
simply nonsense. Cincinnati holds the
pig in the tsnderest esteem, it is true.
but that her first, last and only love is
whisky il was presumed that everybody
knew.
There is man in Pennsylvania
named Drinkwater. He ought to 60
into co partnership with that Albany
umbrella maker named Whiskey. The
firm would find plenty of customers to
take the advice of Drinkwater and
Whiskey, if not their wares.
Mr.. Emerson says that every man
takes care that his neighbor shall not
cheat him but day comes when he
begins to take care that he does not
cheat his neighbor." True, and it is O
curious coincidence that his neighbours
funeral always comes off on the same
day.
Grants friends exultantly proclaim
that both Conkling and Blaine are now
out of his way in the race for the Presi-
dency. All, but they forgot that there
stands David Davis in his way like q
stake-and-rider fence across the path of
half-starved jackass on his way to
neighboring fodder-stack.
The Rev. Joseph Cook on boy who
climbs tree to steal apples: "The
apples are the objective natural motive,
the boys appetite is the subjective
natural motive, his intention is his
moral motive" It is hardly necessary
to add that the boot or board the owner
of the orchard applies when he catches
him at it is the boys natural locomotive.
A Wyoming letter-writer contradicts
the reports that woman suffrage is a
failure in that Territory, declaring that
large numbers of women "visit the
polls" and that 81 they are not degrad-
ed by the suffrage" 1t was not be-
lieved out this way that respectable
women would "visit the polls" and
hence the fear was. not that the suffrage
would degrade the women, but that
women would degrade the suffrage.
Decrease of American Children is
the heading of an article in the Phila-
delphia Ledger. Great goodness! Near.
nouncement of twins or triplets, or
four at one fell swoop, if not of all three,
and yet here is the Philadelphia Ledger,
in the very face of this fact, talking
about the decrease of American chill
dren We are no alarmist, but to us the
dreadful tide seems to be running the
other way.
Rochester Democrat and Chronicle:
Tipping among the fashionable
women of New York has increased of
late to an alarming extent" Pray, what
is there in it to alarm you? However,
large as the supply of liquor in that
State is, it is not wholly unlimited, and
knowing this, as you really do, you
must find something rather alarming
sure enough in the thought that the
more these women drink the less there
will be left for you.
1t is said that can American Egg
Preserving Company has been estab-
lished at Shanghai" Not to preserve
Shanghai eggs for expectation to this
country, it is to be hoped. eThe American
chicken has been literally ruined by
that dastardly breed once, and people
who then acquired fondness for carv-
ing q chicken with one of its legs
punching the plastering overhead and
the other sticking out of the dining.
room window, ought to go to Shanghai
to live.
A photograph of ordinary size will
cost you from 800 to $125, but New
York firm is getting out small one to
he retailed at IS. This baby machine,
they say, will talk quite as we'll as full
grown one, but not as much neverthe-
less, coming, as it does, within the
reach of all-who have SIS to spare-it
will supply want long felt. Those
large monographs will prove an ines
Unable blessing in one respect. When
your mother-in-law comes to see you,
you can get her to talk into the machine
all the time you are absent from the
house, and when she goes home you
can start the machine and listen to her
for the ensuing six months.
The New York Commercial declares
that elf Bob Ingersoll, instead of
Moses, had led the children of Israel he
would have proposed dozen amend
ments to the Commandments before he
got half way down the mountains" No,
he would have had those Command
ments, like the resolutions of political
meeting, cut and dried and stuck in his
coat.tail pocket when he went to the
mountain, and had they been then and
there rejected, the chances are we
should have had no Decalopue Mt all