Connecticut western news., 1879-12-03
WIT AND WISDOM.

Light literature-A bank book with no balance. 4
 -"Haste makes waste in words as well as deeds.
 Duties fulfilled are always pleasures to the memory.
 Proud hearts and lofty mountains are always barren.
 The trees that are most in the sun bear the sweetest fruit.
 Every man who has decision of character will have enemies.
 Don't buy thermometers now. They'll be lower after awhile.
 =" I am going a-courting; to wit, to woo," as the amorous owl said.
 Tt is best to put off till tomorrow things you cannot possibly do to-day.
 Families that cannot pay the baker are liable to be stricken from tho rolls.
 At this season of the year pigs feet buildeth wise woman's souse. .-T White hall Times.
 If 1t were notfor the hurricanes tue people of Jamaica would be lazy all the year round.
 When tramp asks for food, it's a pigs feat to take him to the river and give him souse.
 The Colorado idea is that the U5es should be taught to blow into their guns to seq if they are loaded.
 The individual who wrote, " O Sol- itude, where are thy charms," was business man who didn't advertise.
 The better way to judge cashiers and trustees is, not from their appear ances, but from their disappearances.
 A prophetic exchange remarks that the time is coming when buffalo robe will cover two hearts that beat as one.
 Were we asked what constitutes great man we should say the faculty of being ever in haste, but never in hurry.
 A Western newspaper says: "Some of our subscribers are trying to kill us with kindness -unremitting kindness"
 It is said that man may be a poet and wear 8 decent hat, but rarely if he depends upon his poetry for money to buy hats with.
 An unloved lover should be treated like man who swings from the gal lows. He should be kept in suspense only until his heart stops beating.
 The city of Scranton, Pa., is built over a coal mine. When the time comes f,o,, %lo k<~ .y,4 ,asu all they have to do is to go down in their cellars and lay. A Washoe jury was called upon to try man for stealing milk, by drawing it at night from his neighbours COW. They found averdict of "guilty of steal ing milk in the first degree"
 -"I don't have enough religion to brag of" says an old Nevada miner, "but I never get into the cage to go up or down without feeling how puny I am and how great my Maker is.
 A little girl of four years was re- cently called as a witness in @ police court, and in answer to the question what became of little girls who told lies, innocently replied that they were sent to bed.
 -"Pa," said little boy, a horse is worth great deal more, isn't it, after it's broke ?" "Yes, my son. Why do you ask such question ?" "Because broke the new rocking horse you gave me this morning."
 
 The Detroit Free Press tells os a Vermont boy who threw himself down well because his father would not let him saw off the leg of chair. It IS a great pity. The boy might have grown up to be champion sculler.
 A lady entered her kitchen rather suddenly in Paris and was surprised to see fireman quietly seated. The cook at once said; "As our chimney has not been swept for some time, I thought it would be good thing to have greman in the house in case of fire"
 The subject of conversation at an evening entertainment was the inteli- gence of animals, particularly dogs. Says Smith :" "There are dogs that have more sense than their masters" "Just so," responds young Fitznoodle, "I've got that kind of dog myself"
 A Sunday-school visitor, who was interrogating the children, asked the question : "Why was Lots wife turned into pillar of salt ?" There was q pause, and then small boy, with a pre- ternatural growth of head, piped out |: "I a'pose 1t was because she was too fresh."