Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-05-29

lhe pOSitiOil OF Jhh9c Is 2
trying one.
The fears Of a drowning man
are groundIess.
Girls should remember
"Wherc Ignorance is bliss lis
!. folly to be wives"
A Detroit miIkman delivers
"milk right from the COW" by
putting a hot brick in each can.
If a lady wants a favor of a
boy, she praises him; of a young
man, she hires him; of an old
man, she fatters him.
The Mormons are going back
on polygamy. Hard times con-
vinces them that one wife fills
the bill very well.
Fifty thousand dollars to the
lawyer and $2,500 to the widow,
is the way they divide estates in
New York city.
A Western editor remarks
that he wears no mans collar; so
we take it that he has been bor-
rowing his wife's again.
"F'ine nainsook, embroidered,
make lovely little slips for chill
dren," says fashion writer. Or
ange peel on a sidewalk contin-
ues to be good enough for men.
A French colonel, ON a tour
of inspection, addressed soldier
-"Are you content with your
food." The soldier-"Yes, colo
nell" The coIonel-SHow do
you divide the rations? Does it
not often happen that some of
you get large portion, and 9th
ers a small One?" The soldier
-"No, colonel, all the portions
are small"
The difference between honor
and discretion is, honor tells you
not to hit a man when he's down,
and discretion warns you to be
careful about hitting a man when
he is not down.
Take the negro and send us
the Chinaman, say many South
ern planters, and at PIaqueminc.
La, there is 4 new paper calle,I
Cheap John. Ifthe negro must
go, the Chinese must come.
Edward Clay, Richmond
barber, attempted the other day
to eat twelve soda crackers in
as many minutes. When the
time was up he had disposed
Df ten crackers only. Besides,
It took him a quarter of an hour
TO get unchoked.
Eli Perkins having been charg-
I'd with abandoning his wife and
III eighteen-year-old daughter,
acknowledges that he once aban-
loned a daughter of that age,
out she was the daughter Of a
'ich merchant who came to him
with a shotgun and asked him
% do it.
"Why did General Washing
on cross the Delaware on the ice
md through the storm of an aw-
Ill night?" asked a teacher OF
Ter young class in history. Il
piped a small voice in
answer, ''it was because he want
ID to get on the other side" The
eacher gave her class a fifteen
minutes recreation.
A Detroiter cured n long
md severe attack of neuralgia
~ falling down stairs. That's
nothing. Some years ago II
Norristown youth was cured of
! bad habit Of swearing by fall
ng off a cherry tree. Not a
ingle oath escaped his lips
ince. The fall broke his neck.
Smith who had always been
"tough one" has just died.
The physician is met coming
rom the house by Brown, who
Isked, doctor, how is Smith?
5 he out Of danger?' Physi-
:ian-"Ao; he is dead, poor fell
Ow, but he is far from being
'ut of danger, ] fear
"SuAcrcr" writes Us: "Is it
wrong to kill man who plays
II a brass band and lives next
oor to you:' Wei, that de-
ends a great deal. If he plays
he E-liat, and has been playing
even or eight years, it would be
cry wrong. But if he plays the
uba, and has only been practic-
lg about three weeks-kill him,
ill him at once; 90 into his
ouse and shoot him; we send
on the loan Of gun by this
lail.
"What a great thing the in
ention Of the steam engine is,
reclaimed a Frenchman. slipping
is coffee in one OF the Paris re-
Laurants. "Why SOP" imputed
friend sitting next to him.
Because it is to that great IN
ention that | owe my fortune.
1y aunt, who was killed last
lonth by railroad accident,
n mo 10O G00f A mnntb aoo