The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-11-06
MtLTUM m PARyO.

ss1AN@ ora smaQs WIFE brilliantly red
nose should not be held up as shining
example for young men. ID
I A MAN out West killed his physician
the other day. It is. generally the other
way.-N Y Commercial s'5jE1 -''-
CHARACTER is like real turtle soup,
while reputation can be likened only to
mock turtle.-N. Y. Herald.
r The Florida canal project, which
made some talk while ago, has been
given up.-Chicago Journal. a..
NERO, Pompey and Caesar are COM
mon names for dogs, but wouldn't
Agrippa be more appropriated "..
The Utes object to being civilized,
and the white men on the border OBJ
ject to being Ute-lized.-Boston Courier.
He said he wanted her to be his help
meet, and she replied that she could
never be more than assister to him.
Boston Post. '& a'aai
THE illuminated pumpkin g1rces the
fence-post or flashes through the shrub
berry, because its hour has come for do
ing Danbury News.
BEAcoNsFIELp says that Americans
are emigrating to Canada. He prob
ably refers to Sitting Bull and his fol-
lowers.--Phila.lelphta Bulletin. @.ir
| ! AT a church fair in JHoboken the
other night blind man drew tele-
scope. Ii he had good sight the chances
are he would have drawn a glass eye.
"HUMpH!' said young gentleman
at play with a young lady, II could
play the lover better than that myself
81 would like to see you try it!'' was
the naive reply. t"4n 'S@= 81 ~sCr
"WHoM can we tfust?' is the black
type inquiry of an exchange. 1t is of
! no consequence. "Whom can we in
duce to trust us?' is the soul agon-
izer.-Ne,c Horen Register.
object to, said Job Shuttle as he pulled
out a small frog from the creamer;
Its the thickness Of the water that
it's mixed with. ''-New Haren Register.
SOFT as silk, with golden hair, ~
Bright as stars were her eyes Of blue.
! Truly loved my lady fair;
Truly my lady loved me. too.
Did it break my heart when my love lay dead?
Why, bless your heart she didn't die
Time wrought change as it onward sped;
She loves anOther-so dol. SIS.
A YOUNG lady of New York was mar
ried the otlier day. in the wedding gown
of her grandmother, made seventy
years ago, without any alteration, and
SO similar were the styles no one knew
| but it was q new one, made for the
OCCASION
AN American may bring back the
Ashley belt, but he will never bringback
the twenty-five thousand dollars that
accompanied it. The English are not
such bloody hasses, you know, as fD pay
over seventy thousand dollars to see
walking match. -Norristo,Un He7ysM - -
"HowDY, this morning"' says an
acquaintance to fat citizen, who is
blowing and steaming with great speed
along the Sidewalk Training for a
walk?" "No,' pufs the fat citizen,
turning his bullying eyes neither to the
right nor left; 'sTm walking for a
train. "-Rockland Courier. ra
The Memphis Avalanche proposes
that the old town be entirely depopu-
lated and destroyed, and that a new
Memphis be built at place known as
Bartlett, eleven miles distant. It sug-
gests that ''half dozen railroad
tracks, could do all the transporting
between the new city and the river.
Four "bucket-shops'' in Philadel-
phia, a large onesin New York and one
in Providence have suspanded. The
rise in stocks has ruined them. The
term ''bucket-shop'' originated in Chi
cago, where the petty spectators dealt
in wheat in such small, quantities that
people called it selling by the bucket
full.
"I1TTtE words, y says philosopher,
Hafe the sweetest TO hear" That is
true, when you ask man to lend you
I'VE dollarS how much sweeter to hear
him say s'yes,' though he say itneyer
SO shortly, than it is to hear him drawl'
out, "Well; he would like to-but he
is so sorry-he--."--Burlington Hawk.
Eye. I ?
CHOW DID you like the hymns?''
asked Charley of his city cousin, as
they left the church, Sunday. Zone of
them was just splendidr' replied she
with enthusiasm. 'sAh! which one?'
"The one in the next pew, with black,
curly hair and such killing black eyes.
Oh, think he was the most fascinating
him of ALL Charley became too
much confused to pursue the converse
ton any further.
The Shah of Persia, it is rumored, L..
writing play; and men in Teheran are
ransacking the vocabulary of praise Tor
terms to employ in reference to it. His
Majesty once painted picture in which
2. camel in the background was higher
than tree in the foreground, and In
snk old La 3
large as dog on the right. This can
vas he sent to the committee of the an
nual e1hibitph, MhH of course, did not
hang IT Ah9@ Ne Ene. in the other
cas5 they W6dh soon lsssS been head
less committee. The critics, as a body,
were equally plant. They eulogized
the picture for its depth of tone, artistic
grouping. and fineness of sentiment.
They maintained that his Majesty was
a Raphael and MISSIONER rolled into
one. One of the critics; however, was
rash enough to hint that the picture
lacked feeling. In u few hours he
lacked feeliag himself, for the simple
reason that he lacked head. The
literary critics, therefore, will be on
their guard when they speak of the
Shah's play Chicago Times.
|cE~
An errand boy stole two thousand
chemist. When arrested about three
weeks afterward he said: II am glad
it has cone st6G His C1ot l have had a
good spree out of the money! All the
money he had LEFT WAS ,eigghv-tise.dol-
lars and small chAns a. -
-e<--sis svsc uoJa
|yY s7The PEince afJVales oncemade hime.
sell up Nike beggar to brighten his
mother. The Queen had him put out.
aHs1 al aae& tote related of thefroyal
family.