The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1879-01-04
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


t.mner.nc, an--"Champaign" Gazette.
IN L b,rc. Bob Inyersoll! Didn't Napoleon 20
IN Helena steamboaty we thought w" '"''
there was none.-Au,ord Nctcs
J,sL Frost will soon be on Dcc.-Nro lo'N
Nail Then he will be biz in Jaii.--A"'"'" ven"
How could July 50 about hlm?-A'Du"' II ;"
,Juue.o they lied about him !-Hrdu Ma'ch
along with your jokes
Secretary Eyarts wants more money SUNNI
old boy!-OR CRy Derrick
Nv the Use of the microphone you can hear ''r
,o,c walk or the butter fy.-Boston GLOBE. Vi
tho gum drop-Free Press. Or the 'aI' oil vac
ye.r-Ricsnond Va.) Baton. Or y heel Tap
Lcal from the Morris Independent: ""lil'
Mrs. Bowers was out of her room coal 'o'' anu
burned hole in her carpet
Henry waid Beechcr Is working up new sen
sation. He preached sermon recently III wh''h
b, said there WAS no Adam, no Eve, no iail II"
1ood, &c.
What IA the difference between woman I"
TONGUE and mules tail in fly time we nav,
foryottou the answer u this conundruin, but Ice
sure that il is ISLANDER Ol some h'uu u" Wv
mule-Necnidn Independent.
The best thing Mr. Billings "knos ov IL "A iu'
rate wife. and the next best thing Is a second
rate one"
Those who have been there say it is an affect
inv .ipht to see American girls at Va,sar teach
Inv the Japanese students to slide down the ban
nsters. 1t said to he high fun for the students
but rather bndias On the bAnnisters
Joy, Joy, good times are coming again! good
times are here. JOY to the merchant, JOY TO lh'
man Of law, joy, Joy - the poor wo'k'ngman'
Harper's BUR- says you can buy very hice J."
cloak now for kio5 -Bsrlindton HeDkeye.
Alta recent sheriff. sale in Lebanon. Pa, cot
Ans went At q ,llar apiece. AT this rate, io' I"
few dollars, . man might have laid IN cnouS"
eoifins to last him lifetime.
A man was shot at in Colts Station, o.. by d.
hiyhvaymsn, bnt the bullet lodged la boon
and he WAS uninjurcd The book was not Is "''
that his mother had given him, buta comic N"".
book: and it "a. not next his heart bat IN Ia
eoat.tail pocket.
"Whor be tho last man on earthT' is the -nd
den inquiry Of B ,si''i paper. We'll, II u" %"
else will acccpt-f our country ca''o- 10
you probably Sec tne drilt-LCroh FREE PreSS
Resolved, That if all Irresistible oojcc. nice
an INN ,yable "hect, what will happen! ""'
"Res ,lycd What. the use Of a bears Ia''!' wei
questions proposed for college debating o1cc'
In Mas.achusctt. tho o. her DAY By mcmoo'.
farmer sold two dozcn prairie chicken a.
Quincy hotel Tor AZ, aud took dln",I a. ["
same hotel. adcrins pair Of grouse whtc
cost him %, He remarked afterwad: ""r'
aow. I thou Iht thcn thing, tasted IKE prali'
chickens, but didn't like to ask what sort
thing grouse WAS"
Some Of tn radical papers complain becau~
southcrn democrats did not elect negroes 10 co =
grc... korthcrn radicals did not elect any =
v,oes to ongre... Eortlcrn negroes are qul'
As Intelligent ~ thair southern brethren.
The lonyer live tho more do | become sali
hrd that nothiug b. - good for people who N
IN dccp trouble A. real IA q work-"oik llh' no
only occupies tac aAnds, nut the BRAN; WORK -
which oie lavishcs the bost part OF the hcart
E'iiDn. Any pnc deep In trouble can have huc'
Jaw and wpId phc by applying 1T TINS Once
DG.roa Free Press
A Paris paper tells story OF abarbcr'sapprcn
tcc In Hungary who cut his thioat hccauoc .
girl would not asrry hia. He MAS taken +, Va
hospital at Rati,bon aud cured 1t subsequent,
proved that the operation his lsrnyx bad undo
gone had given him xne tenor voice, which h.
improved by practice, and he il now favor't'
singer ia the opera house At Vienna. The OK
perimcnt /. commended tn other teaOr singers.
Mr.. Archer, Of the Scncva R<pub'icda, was j.
tho city last Saturday night NJ is one Of th"s,
tovial od,tor. Of sh,ch Ne read, and would mike
4 better success. if he hsA larger Held ~ work
in.-s~s,sg Pon chs Poet probably means II
eornaold.
''Can q man bcl'ng to . bras. band aud he :
Christian" ak. Oh exchange. We SEQ II" IN
p,dinrnt ia the w4v But II no IL uncmb ~
4 baaa ana ia svco 10 practicng ON his cornet
or tro ahape al hpsc, IL il % alter iinposNibi,"!
Tor tn. man IiyisS seXt door I'd be { Christian
Horr'soA Hersh
Tte Pork. Bsch.rs' iHs~iter 10 an csteeIncd Pa
riS,aa contemporary just started. 1t contains IL
i'Chrsaque fsri.iesne" ond fashion letter
Tue .pcctu, declares thst there is AZ ample
ACID for .ich puhicAton, since statistics show
that tssrc are ia Vrascs over el0DJ pork -butch
sr. AID 5,eDo,0oO Ass.." 10y it achieve a pig
success.
Petite. N ust he terribly mixed in O,lo county,
Cor the editor Of the Oslo COuRty Ifhocrni
HI. text va Eph A-''sivc thnnk, always
W. slHsy. d., wen they pay il advance. -Djso'
Sta.
"All know" ssys Hayes, 'is that great crimes
have sson committed 1t is a rather pitifnl con
fesisn, hut, chen, il Mr. Hayes feels very con
scienco.sricken over the way he got into Tia,
White louise lac can resign.
All ablhr ~ Ia: nt1 who's. cpitAph /, written
b.l,S. NC 1e'cr .lall lopx upn nj, like again
WIsI ls d'p.-tcd nj. fri-nd. put up mtrhl,
sIr rtth tHi, Inscription, the duplicate of whicI
va Sll hardly tId III any other country oi tn
glODc:
An honest fcllos here is laid.
HI, dtrr, ia full he alsAy. paid:
Afd what's more rare his mel .hhors tell us,
lis seat back borrowed umbrella.
" Y. Herald.
man blew out hi. brains in Indianapolis ol
Thursday with ,hOt gun loaded with water
W. have often heard of men getting shot will
ND wni,ily, but never before wi h wairr.-Cm
ciIsF Fay6ocr Did YOU never h ar Of dealt
fon WsJer ou tht brain: But what does II Gin
C,nlalian huOS o( water ANYHOW ~ fDriI Cal