Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-05-07

A dispatch from Europe announces
the suicide of an Italian nobleman.
Great goodnessI who did he leave his
hand-organ to .a.. jazz. -. ...........e 81
The sudden flight of colored people
from the south must be the work OF
some negrO-man-sir- Cincinnati tSutur-
day Night. Iffa7 #.''
Ninety per cent. of the pulp of an
orange is water. This explains WHY
stepping on the skin brings to mind a
m.-Daroit Free Press.
Mrs. All 10y, q Chinese woman of
Sacramento, IS coming east to lecture.
There is no happiness without some
All 10y, it seems. ..'" I'd. Id .a5
Photographer" You look sober;
smile little" He smiles. and the
photographer says, Not so much, sir;
my instrument is to small to encom-
pass the opening" ............
A young man in Nebraska sent an
offer of marriage to o girl whom he
fancied, and in reply received this tele-
gram: Come on with your minister"
F." Ye are the children Of the devil"
was the text of a divine in the morn
ing, and In the afternoon he said, "Chil-
dren, obey your parents"
A young man in New Milford, in
spirit of reckless desperation married
girl IN the midst Of house-cleaning.-
Danbawy Neaos.
An enthusiastic Utica communist
hates kings and aristocrats so heartily
that he proposes to put an end to the
royalty on patents. Utica Observer.
"Hang that gatep yelled old Hick-
Dry, as he scraped his shins against it
in the dark. And after supper he
went out and hung it.
An excited old man came in yester-
| day to inform us that he had seen six
women sit q whole hour in social con-
versatiOn without once referring to what
they wore.
About the guiltiest looking people in
this world are man accused of crime
of which he is innocent and newly
married couple trying to pass for yeter-
ans. ". r
Tongue cannot tell nor words express
| the establishment of the crippled sol
Gier who awoke to find his wife using
his wooden leg to pound the beefsteak
for breakfast.
| cit is a standing rule of our church"
said one clergyman to another, "for the
sexton to wake up any man he may
see asleep" Il think" returned the
other, "that it would be much better
for the sexton, when a man goes to
sleep under your preaching, to wake
you up!" .-e -... .......
What is lover inquired a poet
whose verses appear in the Philadelphia
North american. The idea of a poet
not knowing what love is. It's so long
ago That we almost forget, but so far as
we can remember it was a sort of heart
| tOothaChe.-NeW York Ccmn1erciu .Ad-
Uertiser.
The other day mob rode into Fay
etteville, Ark, and riddled newspaper
office with buckshot. The provocation
Is unknown to us, but no doubt the last
issue of the paper said something about
winter lingering in the lap of spring."
supplemented with the "hardly ever"
joke.
a. d NillllSI-tdDiS, uOG lOlIS SluCC, ~
lady asserted with good deal of
vehemence that she never ate pastry.
''What, never" exclaimed gentleman
at her side-expecting. Of course, the
usual reply. Judge of biz surprise
when she remarked quietly, and utter
ly innocent of any knowledge of "Pina-
fore. swell. sometimes" -Boston T1an-
script. ~ ., ...sa.-.re s... -s... .;-. .
An exchange tells of girl out west
who broke off the engagement because
the fellow was SO bandy-Iegged that she
couldn't sit in his lap. She acted too
hastily. She should have remembered
that friend in kneed is friend in
deed. .. -...s..-. ..4. s..-..--...s. ..........
''Thank God for a free gospel" said
an old church member suddenly car
ried away by the eloquence of the
preacher. Give and twenty years
have been a church member, and it
has not cost me as many coppers."
"May the Lord forgive your stingy soul!"
said the preacher. ..s.
care you veteran?' we asked Of
Fritz; who had been talking Of military
matters. at is no beesness nit you,
| V0lloI L run OF 1lOu0. CRIES EIItZ, 0Vi-
IDENTITY mistaking our question; Il fight
NIT all de great shenerals mineself al
ready, and vetter run you makef dem
told you, guess not, amt i'll" And 1t
was at least ten minutes ere we could
molly the old fellow.-Bostoas Tram
| script. abe, ..s..,.f --e...s syfe 5s- d.
"Now, child" said Sunday-school
uperintendent, who had been talking
to his scholars about good people and
bad people, when I'm walking in the
street, speak to some persons [ meet,
and I don't speak to others; and what's
the reason? He expected the reply
would be. Because some are good and
others are bad but to his discontinue
the general shout was, Because sons
are rich and others are poor" 10 A'A'.
@s A Nebraska C0Wtillon. -
E-,.r Fremont (Neb.) Herald.
| One Of the most exciting scenes which
hoo diot,,rboG tho tron011tIItv of 9Th q