Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1879-05-28
Family Life.

Whether by divine or by human law, the
world over, the race seems to be set in fami-
lies, and the natural love of kindred. the
truth of the old saying that "blood is thicker
than water" will always act so as to make
it unavoidable that it should be so. Hus-
bands and wives, sons and daughters, broth
ers and sisters, fathers and mothers will
continue to be united in households, and, as
a general thing, by those strong ties of the
flesh which often pull people together even
when neither love nor liking has much to do
in the case. Indeed, we frequently see fam
lilies of adults whose every member is un.
like the others in character, in taste, in ap-
pearance in many habits, who are bound by
indissoluble bonds the power of which
they would be totally unable to explain
who would really be happier apart, but
who are unable to keep apart, and who to-
gether simply succeed in making each other
wretched, as general thing, and when they
do not effect this, obtain all the satisfaction
they get out of dwelling together only by
constant observance of the laws that ought
to govern family life.
In all such cases-in all cases. in fact
there is but one rule to be observed, if peace
and harmony are to be obtained, and that is
expressed in the rude legend of the old sill.
yer coin, Mind your own BUSINESS" that
is, let each member live his or her own in
dependent life, so far as that goes without in
fringing upon the independence of any of
the rest, untrammeled, unhindered, unques-
toned. If one member has friends of her
own, let her enjoy them, and do not be dis
turbed that she has not happened to choose
your friends; and even if those friends are
obnoxious to you, unless upon serious ex.
animation you find yourself with right
and necessity to hold them as obnoxious,
keep your own counsel, and leave the person
concerned to discover the unworthiness for
herself, which undoubtedly will be done in
time, and all the sooner if better models are
set before her, always keeping in mind that,
unless the friends are positively hurtful ones,
it is better to mind your own business, even
though you had right to interfere. Again,
if an individual is disposed to sit alone, to
be silent, to take solitary walk-in word,
to be secretive-it is best to allow the mood
or disposition to pass unnoticed and as a
thing of course; it will be impossible to
change the inclination by any aggressive
and that idiosyncrasy being in
dulged, if it is one, pleasantness and har-
mony are more likely to follow on all other
points. Or, yet again, if one individual in
the house is inclined to be either miserly or
prodigal, it is good to remember that one
has right to do as one will with ones own,
that most people have their own law and
gospel in the matter, and see fit reason for
what they do, and unless the miserliness
makes positive discomfort to others, or the
prodigality is the means of obliging them to
make sacrifice in order to repair damages,
the affair belongs to no one but the party
Yet again, if there are subjects
of opinion on which real and profound diff
ferences exist, not to be reconciled, the
world is wide and full of interest, and there
are a thousand other topics on which con-
versation can be made lively and agreeable,
and allow the subjects of difference to re-
main in obscurity and silence. Without
doubt, life is pleasanter where no subject is
tabooed but in almost every other thing in
life we must do as we can and not as we
would, and there is no reason for expecting
it to be otherwise with this. If one is
q" High Church and another is GLOW
Church" either can maintain Independence
and be respected in the act, provided it is
done sweetly and gently. If one is strict
and another is liberal in religious faith,
neither proves the superiority Of that way
of thinking by sneers and filings at the
OGucIy VI ny dSotitlOuo budt CAL Dt ulSDuttu.
If one is for peace and another for war,
either can find sympathy with somebody
else of the same opinion, and kindly agree
to disagree with each other. In fact, as we
have said, absolute personal liberty, so far
as it interferes with no one else, is the only
safe rule for family life Not that we would
the vernacular, to the point of selfshness,
md uith ohoapca of ubnu af int
in the affairs of the rest of the house far
would that be from true family union, or
even from righteousness, for as none can
live at all without receiving sympathy, so
none can live decent life without giving
sympathy, and pleasant but not inquisitive
interest in all the affairs of others in which
it is legitimate to manifest interest is a
great lubricator in the machinery of the
family.
Yet it must be understood that there is nc
obstacle to this absolute personal liberty SC
potent as a bad temper. They who betray
irritation at everything which goes contrary
to their expectation, with ill-feeling, envy
or malice, and innuendoes in dialogue, who
| allow themselves bursts of temper at contra
vention or contradiction, are necessarily
hampering to every ones liberty of action o.
| expression, and presently assist only at tn,
disintegration and destruction of the famil,
itself for usually they who live always il
the constant fear of the effects of another
ill-temper had rather not live at all, ther,
being no slavery to compare with it. Non,
are so culpable as they who, having a ten
dency of this bad nature, do not control it
or use hard endeavor to do so; for tn
family being at the root of all virtue and al
civilization, those that help to weaken it o
do away with it are but the enemies o
virtue. Non-interference, sympathy, fol
bearance, sweet temper, these are the watch
words of the family life, and before then
door after door opens into the inner shrine
and secret places of domestic happiness
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