The Portland daily press., 1879-04-17
Strippings.
What the Fanny Men Give Down.
A HAPPY MEDIUM.

AHAPPY MEDIUM.
"Where's mammal" cried blue-syed Bessie,
running breathlessly into the room the other
morning. 'Never mind, you'll do, aunty, I
only want to know something; is my pa rch?"
mot very. Why?"
cob! cause Benny Bend and May Monk and
Kate Kinsley are out here telling about their
pas, and didn't know about mine"
swell, Bessie, I'll tell you. Your pa is not
too rich. and not too poor; he is just comforta-
bly, well off.
The child stood for moment, looking
thoughtfully, then repeated over and over to
herself, "Not weddy rich, not wedGy poor, jsst
comferble," and went out.
Presently her mother came in, Bessie follow
ing her. '.Well, Bessie" said she, shave you
been good girl to-day?"
"No, mamma."
"Why, Bessie, hope you have not been
bad girl?'
"No, mamma" said the little thing. mot
weddy bad, not weddy good, jest comferble
little girl"
THE HIP POCKET.
Old 81 picked MP dime that he accidentally
found just where he had laid 1t down when re-
turning US some change few moments before,
and then, as he reached the door remarked
"Ef desc hyar jedges and newspapers keeps
on talkin' like dey do, dar's gwine ter be
moughty change in mems fsshins in dis part OBJ
de Lam fore long,"
''Do you think SOP"
"W'y, dar'll be or onsalerble stock of breeches
wild hip pockits in ebery tailer-shop twixt dis
an sunset fore Chrismus timew
"You mean that they will break up the pistol
carrying practice"
"Dat's de pint! DIS ting OBJ gwine round
loded up with han'-muskitry. like dey was
spectin' news OBJ de mex wsh on ebery traDe is
2otter play out! Hits gittin' mos too omin-
ouspresent!"
swell, you know the old saying that Sin
times of peace prepare for warp"
"Yas, kno's dat, too; but ter my min dat
means ter lay up pervishuns an forridge. an
| not ter keep in pracktis fer de inemy by MAXIM
| a bull's.eye in de pit OBJ yer nabor's STUN
mickP'
"That is very true; besides the habit keeps
| down needed immigration"
sDat it do; but den, 1t amt so much de inn
mergrashun dats prevented eZ de emmergra-
| shun dat's kumpelled dat Pse loOkin' arter,
| Dis hyar snddintly handin' er man er led kupoD
| fer de onlimited jurney by der undergroun'
| rode ar what's ruinin' dis county! An de
| sooner dat our streets amt named 'Slx-Shooter
| avenue au' Shot Gun alley de sooner dis
! lar'll be wuss crowdid wild folks dan er min
strul show an graveyard. lots cum down fun
| wah prices, yer heah me?"
| And then the old man slid out without lesv-
| ing due bill for the dime.-Atlanta Constitu-
| ton.
NOTHING MEAN ABOUT HIM.
| man stepped into a sample-room down
| town day or two ago and happened to meet a
friend there. "Have beer?" was the first
question.
"It's little too early" replied the invited
| one.
"Well, take a little whiskey; that will warm
you up"
"I don't think care about whisky"
| t!Trv q little rum then. now at do vOu saw
to good sharp, seductive hot-spced rum, eh?'
"Deliver me from rum; never could drink
iu without getting sick or catching q beastl!
cold.'
SLOW would Santa Cruz sour, go2"
"That's thing never touch, only niggeri
| drink Santa Cruz gln."
won't you try some sherry; that's more
poetic and will make you feel good for the res
of the dsy?"
"Will you kindly excuse me from takinI
sherry, sir?"
"Of course; but won't you try a cigar"
"Not if know myself"
"What's the matter; you are not offended
are you?"
"Not at ALL"
"Well, then, won't you take something's
ITO be sure will; to be sure L will drini
with you."
"Well, what will you take?''
"I'll tell you what I'll do, sir; I'll take
glassful of water and you give me the ten cents
| How will that work, eh?"
"That won't work at ALL" said the other
Indignantly, and then he took drink alone
and walked out of the place.-H artford Times