davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

LOOKING Down Ts CHINNEY.-It Is
said that man whoslooked down his
neighbor's chimney 10 see what he was
cooking for supper, not only did not find
ont, but was nearly blinded by the
smoke. When you hear men say, I've
watched those who profess so much re-
ligion, and don't see that they are any
better than those who do not make such
a high profession" depend upon il they
have got some smoke in their eyes, and
those whose eyes are full Of smoke can
not see very clearly. UNCONVENTIONAL
smoke is about the most binding smoke
we know OF, and prevents the gospel
from taking hold Of the masses more
than any other agency. Were we % It
down by our neighbor's fire occasionally,
instead Of looking down the chimney
we would see many good points in his
character that smoke will surely obscure,
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04
MISCELLANY.

Why is n pawnbroker like a drunk
ard?-Because be takes the pledge, but
cannot always keep il.
A clock at the Paris Exhibition fred
off pistol hourly The exhibitor ex-
planned that it was to kill time"
There's music in the heir" says
Jones. Jones has brand-new baby at
his house. Il Boston Transcript.
Our peach crop is ruined for this
year-we opened the last can this
morning. g.-Gowanda Enterprise.
Says Giles, "My wife and are two,
yet faith / no not why, sir" Quoth
Jack, You're ten. IL Think true-she's
one aud you're a cipher. "
When Katherine's husband was ar
rested for correcting that lady with a
strap, he said il was pity that a man
should be arrested for strapping his
skate.
Adolphe to Aiam;nta, on their way
10 church, "How / would were tho
prayer. book you clasp so l)vipgly."
Reply: "How / would you were, for
then could shut you up"
The weather is improving in mild
ness, but il has hardly yet reached
iront-gate loveliness. The signing
maiden is patiently awaiting that pro-
pitious season. New Haven Regis
ter.
Speak gently, speak gently; no mat
ter how much bigger ana how much
broader across the shoulders than your
self the other man is, nor how cross
he looks, speak gently. The bigger
and broader and crosser. the gentler.
i Burlington Hawkeye.
The editor of the Chicago Times has
an eve peeled for his own interests,
and occasionally writes q vigorous ar
ticle against tho present system OF
committing the insane TO asylums.-
Cincinnati Enquirer.
"Now II you got any wedding you
WANT done, I'm your man." earnestly
exclaimed the tramp who was al the
back door of Danbury house, Thurs
day, looking for work.-lpanbury
News
Annie Moore's gone away 10 get married,
And her loss We deeply deplore;
'Mong hosts Of friends here long she tsrried.
But she'll never come back Annie Moore.
-lSan francisco Newsletter.
II struggling 10 make q dull-brained
boy understand what conscience IL,
teacher asked. "wbat makes you feel
uncomfortable after You have done
wrope?' Fathers leather strap"
feelipgly replied the boy.
There was young man OF Palmyra
Sat down alongside Of his Myra.
They had Just douscd the glim
When her parents came in.
And the young man achieved his Heyira
"Only las week" said Brother Gard
ner. az the Secretary finished, 81 axed
de members ~ dis club 90 let de we'd
der alone, an TO take de cold an heat
an rain an snow just a. dey cum. rzs
seen IL to cold 10 snow an 10 hot 10
snow. an Ize seen de time dat de snow
Ltumbled down like il meant 10 oter-
whelm de Just an de oniust but it's de
dooty OF human bein's 10 keep dar
heads shct about matters dey can't
cont,ol. ."-lDetroit Free Press.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

TURNING GRAY
LIES sands are running fAst away;
The booyAnt step Of youth is gone.


Lifs's sands are running fAst AWAY
The booyAnt step Of youth h gone.
The fAiiing hair n turning gray.
And Time seems now 70 hurry on
More fsetiy than In days Of yore.
Before the heart became its prey-
Before twas saddsnsd 70 the core
Before the days when We are gray.
Yea. turning gray. Age comes like snow
As still-and carves each careworn line;
Iiswrinkles on the brow win grow;
The hair with silver streaks VIII shine;
The eyes their brightness lose. the hand
Grow dry and tremulous and thin
For life, alas u quickly spsnned.
And death Its gates soon closes In.
Ah turning gray We fAin would hide
The sign how long with Time we've been-
Those deepened wrinkles side by side.
Cut BY the sorrows we have seen;
For feeble beats the heart As years
More thickly cluster on COR head
As autumn rain drops hang like tears.
on some fair flower that's nearly dead.
Like persisted petals nom the flower,
Our hopes and widest Joys are laid;
Burn only for . day or hour
Sweet gambols by the fancy played.
As age comes on we long for rest,
As saints near shrines viii long to pray;
But stlll we love that time the best.
Before the hair Is turning gray.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

CNc1xSATI, February 20.-Repre.
sentative Dalzell, Of the Ohio Legisla-
ture. has received the following letter
from Senator-eloct Chandler
LASsrNs, February IL, 1872.
DEAR SIR:-Yours Of the llth Is at
hand. Please accept my thanks for
your congratulations aud expressions
OF friendship. My candidate for the
Presidency will be the candidate Of the
Republican party. whoever he may be,
whether ID b. Grant. Blaine, sherman,
or some one else. But prefer a can
didaie Who has a national reputation,
and whose fidelity to the principles Of
she Republican party cannot be ques-
toned. Above all, we must have a
candidate who can be elected because
possessed of qualities that the people
can heartily indorso. Truly yours,
Il. CHANDLER.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

Believing there Is not family in the eOun-
try who would not like one Of these conven-
lent Scales. If they could be obtained at a low
price, We have made arrangements with the
manufacturers go that we can furnish one Of
these Scales and the HiIIsdaie standard
Tor one year, for s7oO. being one-half the
usual price OF the Scale alone.
Every Scale is made Of the r,Yy best mater
iil. nicely finished and fully ,r0vrdHiei by
The CHICAGO SCALE CO, TO be accurate
,nd durable. and is particularly adapted 10
he use OF farmers or others 20 whom it Is de-
lrable 10 know the correct weight Of any ar
.lcle from u ounce up 70 2IO pounds.
Upon receipt Of the above amount our pa
per will be sent regularly postage paid, for
one year aud the Scale shipped by freight
.ecurely boxed, to any address Subscribers
who have already paid for the present year
aud who want one Of these Scales, can send
rs a ncv subscriber or have an additional
ear added to their subscription for the above
mount
Be particular to give full directions FOR
shipping.
Asthis an opportunity never before offer
d. and not be offered again, We advise
N VIZ would be weighed and not found
vautiLs to send their orders al once
Address
HILLSDALE STANDARD.
Hlllsdale. Mich.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

How TO MEKT Doc.--A gentleman
gives the following advice in relation 20
dogs "If," says he, "you enter lot
where there is vicious dog, be careful
TO remove your hat or cap as the animal
approaches you, hold the same down by
your side, between yourself and the dog.
When you have done this YOU have
secured perfect immunity from an attack.
The dog will not bite YOU IL this advice
is followed. Such is my faith in this
policy that l will pay all doctor bills
from dog bites and funeral expenses for
deaths from hydrophobia."
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04
NardiG Gras.

NEw ORLEANS, Feb. 2i.-The recep
tion OF the king Of the carnival to-day
was n layal affair. After landing he
vaa escorted through the printipal
streets, paving his respects 90 the
Mayor. from whom fe received the
keys q the city. On ths route the
king recognized Gen. Sherman among
the spectators. After an exchange oi
civiitics the King inquire the condi
ton Of the army. Gen Sherman re.
piled that the army was in a satisfae
tory condition. The King then com
manded the General to attend his re
ception tomorrow.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

"Td stay an old maid till got black
in the face, before I'd marry a man who
chews tobacco" And she took a wad Of
gum out Of her mouth and stuck Il on
the under side of the seat Of her chair
for safe eping while she was eating
her e.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

Trains are run by Chicago time, which Il y
minutes slower than Detroit and Columbus time
AN trains run daily, except sundays.
CONNECTIONS. Close connections made AZ y,
sIsrtl WITH M. G. n. r. for all points east and
west AZ Manchester, with jackson bFanch on
Is NJ. :. r. X. At llillsdale; with l.. ;; a "
= r. r.. Al Bankers, with ". w, >. ;. X k
for points north and south
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

DETROIT HILlsDALE & SOUTH
WESTERN Y. r.
Trains viii leave the stations named, A. iouo"s'
f-om and after Nov. 2fth, ISIS;
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

Al trains daily except suudav.
Through tickets 20 AT principal paints.
FYr information a. % routes aul connections
apnIv % = X. HOOPER. Genl Ticket Agt.
e.. r.. LOOMS, PFest Geu1 Manager.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

Whatever objection may be opposed
10 whipping, it is at least undcniable
] that II makes boy smart.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

rxrAsrED-k GOOD NAN FOR EVERY
w state AMI Territory IN the Union; fair
SALARY paid. Cal or address "a Belle Manfr Co,
% CLARK ST., Chicago, va
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

EP- Michigan AccOmmodauOn' kols u"n,d'
4. .~,onnecfs with Kalamazoo ana SrAhu hAP'N
Train at White Pigeon.
EE- Nail and Night Express trains gu,ns
LANSING DIVISION.
Trains viii leave the stations named, as ioION'
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04
NEW ROUTE
COLUMBUS ST0LE00 R. R.
THE DIRECT AIR LINE FROM
T0LED0ro COLUMBUS
NEW ROUTE =

SHORTEST ROUTE FROM SOUTHERN AMI
NORTHERN MfCmGAN TO CENI IRAL AND
SOUTHERN OHIO.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

Columbus i0o5A.N. si5r.N. ia.ioA.N
Arrive a.
Through Coaches between DE-
TWorr mud COLI TuRtS On both EN-
press Trains.
LSAN. - Trains from Detroit and Main
and Air Line n. a y. VI. and JACKSON trains AZ
irving in Toledo make connection WIN the Two
FVpre.a trains which leaves the Columbus q p o.
inu0 D.. R. Dcpof-the Omnibus Iire making tlc
transfer from uuiuu depot On ID minutes.
Direct connections made il Union Depot AZ
Co'lmhus fUf newark, Iancaflilc, fiiisDufFli
wheeling. baltimore, Washington and ftiadel-
phia. also. f1r Dayton Ircinnatl, L0uisYlile and
al p1iufs south and southwest.
Pullman Drawing Room and Sireping car.
from Columbus % baltimore, " ash ugton and
Phns leIphla. without change.
Trains will arrive aui depart frum Toledo a'
Cofnrihus and Toledo Railroad tompanys Dc
not M afer street. foot n Nuihcrry.
w. A. MILLS, Gen Ticket Agcut
ORLANDO SMITH. Gen. supt.
NJ. n. GREENE. President
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04
Railroad Time Tables.

LAKE SHORE & AICH S0U.-MoH
oESTRAL-J4CKsoN@ FE
IVA YEE- ID. III. 6 A.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

r,.,D. v,,l ,eaye me stations named, as follows
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04
SUMMER ARRANGEMENT,
Taking Effect Way 26th. Is,s.

Three Passenger Trans Daily except snndaJs'
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

The Albion Prohibitionists have put
a full ticket In the field for the ap-
proaching charter elections.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

Croton, Newaygo county. had one sa-
loonist who was caught selling liquor
TO minors. Croton has a saloon no
longer. lis well.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-03-04

Mrs. Peter Sprechsel has sued Henry
Luebpert, saloonist OF Denmark,
Tuscola county, for 81. 900 damages for
selling liquor TO her husband.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-06-13
DIAMoxD cur DIAMOAD.

Mr.. Hathaway was on the stand.
Brother Millard began the cross ex-
animation. "Did Mr.. Talmage ever
SANDER you3" he asked.
"Well," began the witness, 81 should
think"
''I mean to your own knowledge :
added Brother Millard.
ADO you mean to my face u
ssI mean (somewhat sternlY) of yOuI
own knowledge"
''Do you mean did ever hear that
he had slandered mep
mo, of course l do not. Hearsay i
not knowledge / mean do you know
that he ever slandered your
"Well, no in that way / don't sup
pose that / do"
Brother Millard- Humph. Hov
old are youT No answer.
Brother Millard-"Don't you knoV
how old you are r.
| Witness in your way dcnt
| If am to believe my mother, | al
forty-fve years old. But that is onl
| hearsaV
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-06-13
sEAsONAB1E TnOUGuTs.

Spring is here The small boy draw
eth a magic circle and causeth the fes-
tive marble to revolve the soul of the
sad eyed young man whose girl hath
bounced him and he straight,way
maketh poem in which he singeth of
the beauties of apring and bringeth it
to the editor who laugheth him to scorn ;
the tramp girdeth up his loins and goeth
forth seeking whom he may devour ;
the sound Of the organ grinding doth
not cease because they are few but wax
numerous ; the voice of the peeping
frog is heard in the land, and the wise
merchant rusheth to the newspaper and
shouteth, "Be it known to the sons and
daughters Of men that I have large
stock Of spring goods" and behold his
Golfers swell with "filthy luere," while
the foolish merchant saith it is naught
and behold the sheriff layeth hands on
him, and hangeth his banner on the
outer wall.-EImiro Gazette.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-06-13
GIBBS AND ENDA.

Headquarters-a pillow
It's rough work that polishea
Spell donkey with single letter, U.
A criminal court-sparking another
mans wife.
Truth is stranger than fiction for
there is less of il.
The Philadelphia Item says "tbe best
wives arc the cheapest. Wrong. 4
good wife ia a '1ittle dear"
4 little boy, when reproved for break
iisg new rocking horse, said Whats
the good of horse till it's broke"
A book agent was knocked down by
a street car the otlier day, and tive
wheels passed over his cheek. The car
is laid up pending repairs.
Animals may not take much interest
in athletic contests, but just introduce
an old goat TO another, and see how soon
they'll have "spring meeting"
"What shall do to keep warm r
asked shivering, slightly dressed lady.
Il don't know" said solemn Quaker
"unless thee puts on another 6reastPin- "
yassar girl, eating her first goose
berries 'E'yum N'yurn yum-m-m
wouldn't ] like to see thegoOsO that laid
these berries"
Judge: "IIave you anything to offsl
~ tsie cUurC Drrure scuJeIce II passed "a
YOU r. Prisoner No Judge. ! hac
ten dollars, but my lawyers took that.
, "His acts made him immortal anG
he lives more than ever" was the wa,
the preacher said at the funeral bu
the compositor got it, " His acts mad
him immoral and he lies worse thai
ever"
The following is told Of a young ger
, tleman who was passing an examina
nation in physics: He was aske
''What planets were known to the al
clients r "Well, sir" he Responded
. "a there was Venus and Jupiter, and
|, after pause" | think this Earth bE
e Tn not quite certain"
o They were walking home from a II
hearsal. Said he, Lowest thou me
Said she, 'eThou knowsst love thee
Then they measured noses, while IL
a trees sighed, the lake murmured on Il
# pcbbled beach, and the moon shone
. soft splendor.
r They were strolling along in Il
+, moonlight. Something put it into b
y - head that she wouldn't be very ang
ii il he stole a kiss. He resolved to do $
N but in the ecstacy of the moment
IS forgot he had cigar in his mouth, Al
~ they don't stroll IN the moonlight Al
more
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-06-13
..GKERNNGs.-

A youth living on Bagg street rolled
an apple barrel to the curbstone the
other afternoon, filed it with cobble-
stones, headed it up, and marked the
barrel: "Grsenings-handle carefully.
The youth retired TO await further de-
yelopments, and they soon came. A
sawdust wagon came along, and the
driver Jumped down and took a long
look at the barrel. He probably rea-
soned that it had been delivered by q
grocer. and he doubtless wondered why
It had not been rolled into the cellar.
Dusk was ooming on, and the man drove
off In a quarter of an hour he re
turned. ssGreenings" were there yet,
and he drove around the square, took
the tailboard cut of the wagon, and at
lengthgdrove up close to the barrel. No
one was in sight, and he made 3 dash
for the prize. He probably expected 3
rather heavy lift, but when he felt the
weight Of those cobblestones his sur
prise must have been great. lie gave
i one awful lurch, lifted the barrel about
an inch, and as his fingers raked over
the hoops he groaned in agony and
i leaned into his wagon as if q dog had
| been reaching for his coat-tail. Al va
rious times during the night vehicles
| were heard halting and driving suddenly
away, but when day broke the ssgreen-
ings" were still there, though only tvs
boops were left on the barreL-Detros
. Free Press.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-06-13
Why Re VETOED.

The latest reason assigned by the rad
icals for MIR. Hayes veto of the ball
prohibiting the presence of troops ct
election polls, and for their party s sup
port of that veto, is the novel one that
he received his trust just as it is to-day,
and it is his duty to hand it over to hia
successor unimpaired. Here, remarks
the Alexandria Gazette, is Csesarism
without the slightest attempt at dis
guise. The representatives of the peo-
Die can make no change in the laws
which the nominal President is bound
to respect. He viii not only prevent
the repeal of obnoxious laws during hls
administration, but viii hand his power
down unimpaired to his sneof sser This
IS the latest, but probably he trnest
reason yet assigned for the veto, and It
contains lesson so plain that all who
run may read, and which having been
read should be prOfted BY,
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-06-13

John says he will stick to his post and
continue to manipulate the certificates
and the bonds, and assist Chandler and
the rest to keep the Frauds backbone
stifIened. A rural poet says:
John ghornaB's bonds At four per cent
Hs hopes win make him President:
Dut Whist are bonds for him who runs
Against line Of nScdIs-gunsf
"f'is not tho rnts per cent. on notes.
But bayonets that makes the votes.
Morris Marks, who was appointed
Collector of Internal Revenue at New
Orleans some time ago, is in trouble.
Marks chief, and doubtless only, quail
fication for the position rested on the
the fact that he had done something, in
an humble way, TO help steal the cleo
toral vote of Louisiana for Hayes, and
beirg well posted about the rascalities
Of politics in that State, he was around
Washington a great deal, threatening
20 make IL hot fer somebody unless he
was fixed. He was fixed in Secretary
shernan'S department, where 10 many
Of his kind have been taken care of. II
will hardly be surprising TO learn that
he has been conducting bis Office in q
way that is not considered upright, and
il il stated that the removal Of Marks
has been determined upon. At THU
crisis he again threatens some expos
ures. PnoSo.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-06-13

"See the moon" said lady to her
bright little boy of Eve, as they sat
looking out Of the window the other
day. ssThe moon r said the little man.
ssYou can't see the neon in the day
time. Yes, you can" continued his
amt stthere it Is over the trees. The
little fellow had to admit that he saw It.
but added, "sTain't lighted. anyway.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-06-13

TnE iokers that included piece of
stained brick among the geological
specimens" which they placed upon the
desk of the professor as objects worthy
of his explanatory remarks received the
following reward. Taking up enc Of
the specimens, he said ''This IS one OF
baryta, from the Cheshire mines. This,
holding up another, sis piece Of field
spar from the Portland quarries. And
this" coming to the brick, ''is piece OF
impudence from some member Of the
GLASS;
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-06-13
Adninistrator's Noticc.

1T oTIcE IS HEREBY GIVEN THAT
the undersigned, Adminlstrator .,i of
the estate of James Burres, deceased, viii
applv to the County Court of Linn County,
OREGON, on Tuesday, the Sth day Of July,
Is79-bsing day Of the July term OF said
eeurt-at the hour Of i o'clock p. M. OF
said day. to resign my trust as said Admin
istrator. JOHN Il. BURRES,
43w4 Administrator.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-06-13
DIR. II. RozsAS.
Land for Sale.

~Hn acres one half mile west Of Soda.
ADtB Vile, 100 in cultivation; all under
fence. Oak Creek affords it water the year
round. Will sell at q very low price; one
third down. For fuither particulars, adj
dress SARAH USHER,
ssm3 Sodaville, Oregon.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-06-13

Il Just happens this way, that the
biggest strawberries are at the top OF
the box. There is not room for them
below. when the bottom of the box is 50
near the top.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-06-13
Look at MY Prices

Cinnamon. Gloves, Pepper and Alisptee
S- Cash paid for eggs. .~SG
ground and put up BY myself and warranted pure.
Also, the complete stock ~ JOSE EI-ANCOs
CIGARS, together with full line of Tobacco, Srnok-
Articles, TOYS Notions aud numerous other arti
elias Whice have not time To euuinerate, al ot which
! will sell at prices that defy composition.
5 JULIUS JOSEPH.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-06-13
RATES OF ADvkausIse.

Business notices in the Iocal Columns
20 cents per line.
For legal and transient advertisements
q 90 per square, for the first insertion, and
so cents per square for each subsequent In
sertion.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-06-13
LUMBER /!
LUMBER /! LUMBER /!

UYE, THE UNDERSIGNED, take this method Of
w informing the pubc that we have l,l50,0o0
feet of the finest quality Of lumber hand at our
mill on Hamilton Creek, 81 miles from Lebanon, ever
offered for sale in this county, consisting in part Of
rustic and finishing lumber, which has been sawed
ter and consequently is partially seasoned. We also
have large amount Of fencing, barn siding. scantng
timbers etc, in fact everything wanted in our line
Besides we have large amount Of logs hand,
which will enable to fill all orders entrusted to u.s.
Also in connection with the mill Is paner, where
you can get anything needed IN house building az
greatly reduced prices, and put up in workmanlike
manner.
Remember we mean what we say, and every one
chasing elsewhere.
settiemier's Mills, May %, 1879.
43ms q. f. & a. A. sETTLEMIER