Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1879-01-07
From the Belfast Republican Journal.
Jonah.
BY OUR GEORGE.

We don't propuse 10 discuss the Scrip
lural version oi The story OF Jonah. oul
simp ply TO throw such light upon the suo-
ject as comes within the province OF the
newspaper man. The great trouble 10
verifying all ancient history is, that the
people had no daily newspapers. Had
the New YORK Herald been in existence
at the time OF the food, Bennett would
have had reporter on board the and
the day OF The landing on Ararat. ne
would have published iu!l account OF
The affair, with maps. illustrations and
interviews with the different members oil
Noah's family.
The newspaper man OF the present day
is like the weather; he is everywhere, on
ly there is no storm signal 10 tell oi his
coming. Ho has as many eyes as paper
OF needles, and as many ears as corn
held. He is like an animated cheese try
", he samples everybody and Will get
Information out OF them when otherwise
II could not be squeezed out by hYdrauI-
10 press. He IS as searching as an east
wind, and a. sure Ms quicksilver. Gut
him open and you would find him alpha
betically srra, sed, with information on
all subjects CAREFULLY compiled, labelled.
and put away each IN It's respective pigeon
hole. IL is simply in the capacity "i
newspaper, that ,he Journal will endesv.
or TO shed its modest ray on the story oi
Jonah, aud leave all discussions OF It TO
the clergy.
Sauntering through the Bowery. Your
reporters eye caught the name OF II
Jonah" on dingy sign over the door.of
shop in that crowded street. stopping
ne scratched his buad with the end OF his
pencil and remarked, Jonah. Jonah
where have heard that namee" when a
smile suddenly illuminstes his counten-
ance, ike an electric light, and ans ~or-
Ing his own question with ION yes, re
momber-Bellas,- lectures-Jo-
nah-whale-,es, es, yes" be dsrted into
The shop with lhe rapidity OF "a morning
sun beam into sleeping mans eye
II was queer looking Old shop. over
the door swuDg TIN TO balls, that bad once
kbeen gilded, hanging like pots from q
crane in an old fashioned hre place. ana
betok ening the existence OF a pawn-orok-
er's shop within. Inside was curious
collection OF things. 1t seemed ms II
some Gabriel had had private resurrec-
ton of his own, ot all the old traps IN
existence. Il was M lmble tumble 0t old
clothes, hats, caps, boots, shoes, lewelry.
pistols, swords. clocks, watches, books,
pictures and musical instruments. From
hasty glance the reporter concluded
that there was everything there. from
hsy scale to red flannel night gown.
| Every available space was filled. The
| first idea he bad wasthst large museum
of curiosilies bad suddenly rushed in there.
either 10 hide or else to get IN out OF the
rain. On a stool in q corner behind q
rickety old counter. like a halt opened
| lack knife. seemed To- sit a suit OF clothes
surmounted by considerable hair. Dis
\ Covering that these clothes contained a
man, the reporter enqnlred, us Mr.. 90
nah in ?" when The clothes slid Oft the
| stool, and voice replied Dot is me,
mine fren'.n Grasping him by the hand
the reporter continued ,NAnd might en-
I olire il Won are in any way related 70
! one Jonah who was swallowed by q
| whalepr We'll, dot same Jonah vas q
good many great upcles OF mine" "ADd
can you give me any information about
him?" asked the reporter, getting out hl'
1 note book. we'll. links l can. Mine
/ uncle Jonah is dsd. de is ded dis zIO0
| Years next summer. He ish all ded. and
buried" An said The reporter jotting
lthis down. lone tact established. Nobody
I can interview hisn that's sure" and whit
\ t,inp The end of his pencil he continued.
J "apd can yon tell me anything aboutihit
/ adventure with the tish, his l0hdte IN voy-
I age may say p The eyes OF tue descend
! an. of the Hebrew prophet twiDkled, and
Ia Jerusalem smile cantered over his face
] IN didn't creep over it. but it struck live
lier pait,) and rubbing his hands. softly
together he said. 80 mine fren' you want
! 10 know someding about mine old uncle
Jonah Ah he vas queer man. so queer
as never vas" And warming up to bis
subject, like II boi ing tea kettle. he dilat-
I'D on the merits and demeri,s OF his dis
tant deceased relative. and gave what. be
knew to be the true version OF the story,
which your reporter will endeavor TO re-
| pfodace.
From his account, II appears that 10.
[ sah was a man who had an exceedingly
| god opinion Of himself. There are q
lew more of that same style OF men now
| King. He did not like to do anything
that would displease Jonah. He liked to
agree with himself, and did not relish
amily Jars. He tried to be unanimous
with himself. 1t happened that he had a
very pressing call TO 20 down to Nine
web. and tell the people something not
ysry complimentary to their morals
Il occurred to Jonah that the idea wonid
not be popular one with the masses,
] arat3 as he did not know how soon he