Connecticut western news., 1879-05-28
WIT.AND WISDOM.-

A shirt-front IS thing to pc studded. srs
 How to get up Spring Meeting put two fat men in light buggy.
 Tt is fool who praises himself and a madman who speaks ill of himself.
 -" When taken to be well shaken :" The boy that upset your ash barrel.
 Puck says that man learning to play the cornet interests all his neigh bors-in horn.
 Not till the external, sensitive chords of man are struck do the inner ones sound after them.
 If you would be satisfied to do what you can do rather than what you want to do you would be happier.
 Every man is good pilot in smooth sea, but when the wind blows then we find out who knows the most.
 Tt is wonderful how silent man can be when he knows his cause is just and how boisterous he becomes when he knows he is in the wrong.
 If any one says he has seen just man in want of bread, l answer that 1t was in some place where there was no other just man.
 The body of our prayer is the sum of our duty; and as we must ask of God whatsoever we need, so must we labor for all that we ask"
 Men trust ratLer to their eyes than to their ears the effect of precepts is therefore slow and tedious, while that of example is summary and effsctual
 -"What delightful fellow that El- ward is-so jolly-his pocket-book all ways open" NJ" Yes; to any one who wants to put anything in 1t. !"
 When a man owes debt and refuses to pay more than half of it, he calls the arrangement compromise with his creditors. The creditors call it swim dle.
 A young man in Nebraska sent an offer of marriage to Q girl in Iowa whom he fancied, and in reply received this telegram "Come on with your minis | ter l"
 Not long since, in Texas, juror arose. when the evidence was all.in, and said that the twelve good men and true did not wish to hear the lawyers speeches.
 | Iii difficult, own, to blend and unite tranquility in accepting, and en- ergy in using the facts of life; but 1t IS not impossible. If it be, it is impossible to be happy.
 Iris much easier to meet with error than to find truth; error is on the sur face, truth is hidden in great depths and the way to seek does not appear to all the world.
 Time, 12 o'clock. She-"George, are you to exhibit in the dog showP" He-"No; why?" She-"Oh, noth- ing; only you are such remarkably fine ssetter.'" Exit young man.
 Clowns, says the Norristown Herald, have deteriorated so much during the past twenty five years that circuses are now obliged to employ four of these stale testers to make up the deficiency.
 An Irishman at the imminent risk of his life stopped runaway horse q few days ago. The owner came up after a while, and quietly remarked; "Tnank you. sir." "An' faith, an how are ye 8 goin' to divide that betwane two of us ?" replied Pat.
 Elder sister (to little one, who ap- pears to take great interest in MT. SEib- bons): "Come, little pet, tits timeyour eyes were shut in sleep" Little pet
 CT think not. Mother told me to keep my eyes open when you and MT. Snb'
 bons were together"
 -" Have you heard the news, my , dear ?" "No; what?" "That Dians
 and Florence have made up." "No
 have they though ?" Yes; each frankly
 admitted that the other was wrong, and
 perhaps she was, too, and now they are
 the best enemies in the world." Life changes it's aspect as we grow old. In our young days we are com - pelled to give the closest attention to the rule of three. As we advance in years - however, things simplify themselves 1T 8 yer- mysterious way, and if we ars ; married we generally find thnt the rult of one is about all we can submit to. z A story is told of Rufus Choate i, whose handwriting resembled hiero . glyphics. During hot political contes
 some rash individual threatened to chal lenge his vote. "You had better not
 broke in mutual" "for if you do h
 will produce a specimen of his penman ship and then challenge your own vot'
 on the ground that you can't read. ' -" What are you looking for P' askes ?, one of the widow Bedott's two daugh '' ters, who were entertaining their younl
 fellows on the piazza rather late oa 7 night last summer, of their mother, wh' o seemed to be hunting for somethsal
 around the front yard. "The morninl i. papers, answered the widow. TheyounI Q man left. n There is nothing, says Norwic B. paper, that will so affect boys memor of as falling from tree while robbing a. birds nest and spelling new iacke ,e Neither kind mothers pleas nor th W attitude of the sternest daddy can for h. moment coax or drive the juvenile to