The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-02-01
Buah and His Honor In Court.
Detroit Free Press.
WRESTLING WITH I'm

along came stoop-shouldeIed man
with very serious face and solemn
voice, and he asked Bijah If there were
any prisoners to be tried. Being an
swered in the affirmative, he stated that
he was the originator of a new religion,
and that he would like TO go in and
wrestle with the prisoners and try to
do 'em good.
Wall, If your religion is better than
all the rest rolled in heap, it may
fetch EN-" answered Bijah, "but you
must take your chances"
The good man was shown into the
corridor, where sat Mary Jane Pollard.
brought in about midnight for disturb
ing the peace. What followed no man
may ever tell. Bijah heard whoops
and yells and a grand rush, and the in
ventor of the new brand of religion came
out with his coat-collar hanging over
his shoulder, his hair thinned out, and
his breath all gone.
Then, she didn't soften2" inquired
the janitor as the man made for the
street, but no answer was returned.
ON ATouR.
The first prisoner out seemed to have
spent the best years of his life IN grow
ing a sickly looking goatee of the color
OF ripe carrot, and the paper collar he
had on had been in use for at least
month. He explained that he landed
in Detroit from tour To Buffalo only
last Saturday, and was landed in the
Central Station before he had been in
the home of his infancy half day. He
placed an obstruction upon the side
walk near the City Hall Market--an
obstruction that gave the name of George
Benson when taken TO the station. He
denied it, howeyer--even denied il after
a policeman had told the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth. In attempt
ing heavy gesture with both arms, the
prisoners old coat went rip" A part
of it fell on the floor, and it was decided
to send him up for sixty days to get
some clothes, although the close of his
case didn't suit the tourist at all and
he wanted to fight Bijah when the lat
ter coupled the name of Benson with
benzine.
OLD DADDY JONES.
After Bijah had got him posed in
front of the desk he looked like adarkey
of several hundred years growth. He
didn't wait to be questioned, but at
once began bowling and scraping, and
called out
Dis chile am come to see yer-what
yer g'wine to do with he ?"
Ever been in the House of Cor
rectionY' inquired the Court.
Jones Strengthened up, buttoned his
rusty coat close up, picked his hat Off
the stove hearth, and feelingly replied
" Is / heah TO be de subject oh insul-
tin remarks%
Ever been arrested beforeW con
tinued the court.
"Befoah, sir-befoah !" exclaimed
the indignant Jones abe question am
not on de previs outlines OBJ my char
acter, sir---not in de least ways-but,
de topic, sir, is whether I'm heah now,
sir-heah as criminalT' And Mr..
Jones rested his weight on one foot, held
one arm out at angles, fastened his OPP
tics on the clock, and waited for an an
swer. 1t appeared that he had been adj
mtted as lodger, but had oversight
himself, and, for joke, he was detained
and sent out as prisoner, just to learn
him to leave his downy couch at more
proper time. He was told to proceed
on his winding way, but heinsisted on an
apology from Bijah, claiming that his
character bad been compromised, and
he finally got it, also a nickel piece as
company, and he deposited the latter in
his boot leg, exclaiming: Pse gwine
up to Paton's alley, and / don't keer to
'spose my life by exhibiting too much
money"
HE KNEW HIS TRADE.
Anthony Rich made poor show as he
stood at the bar in his old clothes. He
was dancing drunken jig in barn on
Gratiot-street for the amusement of
seven boys and dog, and he fought
the officer all the way down. The court
asked him if he had any cash.
mot cent" he replied.
I" All right-Pll give you new step
in dancing-one that you don't know.
Pll dance you down at ten dollars or
thirty days-take him back"
But | won't dance to that tune
here's your spot" replied the man, and
he fished down into his pocket and
brought up an old oil-skin containing
about one hundred dollars, and he
handed over his fine to the clerk.
The court won't be fooled on rag
picker again.
PATRIOT.
Bijah hunted around the corridor and
found one more prisoner, fat, oily
little man who had just aroused from
sleep. When brought in at night he
explained to the Captain that the only
profession he had was that of dying for
his country, and he offered to die for
her then and there if any one would see
that he had rosewood casket.
Have you got rid of all that drunk
yetT' asked Bijah as he pulled him
along.
ell hope not, COS | paid big price
for it," was the honest reply. When
placed at the bar he stood there ike a
bag of shavings, and when the court
asked him to plead he calculated, "I-I
can't p-plead wo-worth a cent-sposn'
you p-plead fur me-"
Were you drunk ?" inquired the
court.
W-was / d-drunk? Do look like
man that would g-get d-drunkq F.
Yes, Sir; you do" said the court,
and you are drunk now, and FL send
you up for six months"
Did you-you say s-six m-o-n-t-h-s?.'
Yes, SIR"
"Will p.posies be in b-bloom by tn
that timer"
P-probably .t-they w-w-will," re-
turned the court, and the prisoner
s-seemed to be entirely s-satisfed.
->-o->---