The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1879-11-22
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

Tan bark-A terriers yelp.
The first round--The earth
A bare spot-The north pole
Junk shops-Chinese navy yards.
Cruelty to notwithstanding dogs
Joint stock concerns--Butcher shops.
Always best when rarc-Family orolls
Out on A foul-Taking ride on an ostrich
Entirely out of place--A discharged servant
A hcrrid zone-The latest fashion in ladies
belts.
Striped stockings cover multitude OF Sims
A tack points heavenward when it means the
most mischief.
In memory of Zach Chandler-Th6 returning
board frauds in New York
Considering their character, that is cruel
sarcasm which says Grant remains in the hands
of his friends
A barber refused to color the mustache Of an
inebriated man because he did not want to dye a
drunkard.
HarDey's B,t.ar makes this astounding asscr-
ton: "Nething is worn by the ladies now but
Bernhart scarfs"
"Pride goeth before fall" This explains
why the ladies take such pride Ia their summer
dress. --UdnielSOHGWe Sentinel.
Says an Elk, "The baby oyster is not much
bigger than a pins head at the end of fort.
night" Is a pins head smaller at the end of a.
fortnight than at the end Of a month or year?
The Maritime Farmer is Provincial paper. a
maritime farmer must be one of those that plough
the sea Yacob Strauss.
The fashion Of ladies taking tea in bonnet and
gloves doesn't seem absurd to a boy who drinks
water from his hat
A girl leased her father to buy her one of those
bonnetS tipped Off with humming bird, and he
said he d do it if he thought she'd stay to hum
in ii.
The butterfly, the butterfly,
How doth the buttelyy and why?
Because the hired girl doth make
The round fiat, tOOthsome buckwheat cake;
Aye, this is why doth buttefy.
A party named Funk, editor of the Monticello
Bulletin, has fallen heir to 100000 In the or
binary course of business, it would take us three
or four years to make that Neutrality-suspicious.
Chronicle,
10 Cook on Bob Ipgersoll; "His lack of re.
ligon sufficiently illustrates his lack of sense"
Bob Ingersoll on 10 Cook: "IIis philosophy is
the theology Of New England seasoned with
poor German thought-that is to say, he mixes
sauer kraut with his beans"
This is the way they now sing it in New York;
Little John Kelly
Filled full of jelly,
Fed him by LonzO Cornell;
Into a tart he
Put his own party,
4 ~ .,..,lif ;, ali fr.. 10
From a remark thrown out by the Syracuse
Herald we are led to the belief that great care
should be taken while picking strawberries in
snow storm, not to freeze ones fingers.
Can anyone tell why it is a man blows the
foam off glass Of beer before drinking ity-
Shreveport Times
Give it up. Never saw man drinking foam
that had been blown from a beer glass,-N. o.
Pedyune.
"Fullness under the eye denotes language" we
told. So it does and, we fear, bad language,
too at times. In recent instance a fullness I'M
der the eye denoted that the possessor had called
q man liar
"A lady named Mars Magui all
Had trouble in lighting her f-ah;
The wood being green,
She used kerosene
pause. Then continue solemny)
She has gone where the fuel is dri-ah."
This is q definition Of honeymoon, given in
1552-"Hony none, a term prouerbially applied
to such as be uewe married, which will not fall
out at the fyrste, but thone loueth the other ex.
ceedyngy; the ikclyhade Off their exceeding
loue appearing to aswage, We which time the vul
gar people call the hony none"
man who stood on the platform before big
crowd down in Texas the other day declined an
invitation to address the audience on the ground
that lie was not accustomed to speaking in the
open air. Two minutes later the man stranged
to death because he could not touch the ground (
with his toes, This should be a warning to ora
tors who complain that they are not accustomed +
TO speaking out Of doors. t
BEFORE. Z
Gaily the candidate !
SCekcth the bar, d
Where thirsty citizens :
Throng from afar,
Singing ain search Of thee
Hlthcr we come; IN
Candidate, candidate, Id
Set up the rum"
AFTER. y
Hark, It's he candidate o
fastening home; q
Nainly the citizens ;,
Seeking him, roam.