Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1879-04-16

Kerosene, it is said, will cure dlphtherla.
Many servant girl who might have died
from diphtheria has been saved by
timely use of kerosene and kindIing.
" Isn't my photograph excelent?' said
Il young wife to her husband. " Well, my
dear, replied he, " there's little too
much repose around the mouth to be natu-
raj"
In struggling to make Il dull-braincd
boy understand what conscience is, Il
teacher finally asked, "What makes you
feel uncomfortable after you have done
wrong?" "Fa)hrr's leather straps" feel
ingly responded the boy.
HANDY THINGS TO lIAvE.-A box of
copper rivcts and burs, coil Of stout cop
per wire, few dozen mixed screws, an
assortment of carriage bolts. an awl and II
few waXed ends, II bottle of harness dress
ing, pound or two of assorted wrought
nails, II few loose links OF broken chains,
halt II dozen brass knobs for cows horns,
IL small anvil. II box of axle grease (l mix
ture of black lead and palm oil is the hest),
II quart can of sperm oil for machines, five
gallons of crude petroleum, n small supply
of simple medicine horn, all these. and II
closet TO keep them in, will be found val
liable in the saving Of time, money. and
irritation, when I'm occasion of pressing
need comes during the busy season.
JOKES FROM PARIS PAPEIS.-A military
man who boasts that he can't be caught.
no matter what you ask him. bnt who is
really stupid, is asked. How many miles
from Paris to Berlin?'
q" Three hundred.h
"And how many from Berlin to Paris?"
The same of course
That's where you re wrong
Wrong!" exclaims the military man,
aslonished and troubled
Yes, wrong! You know how long it
is between Christmas and New Ycars?'
Yes"
"Well. is it the same between New
Years and Christmas?'
by Jove! you're right. never
thought of that before"
The other evening, at little dinner
party up town, one of the guests, tie
younger brother of an English nobleman,
expressed with commendable freedom his
opinion of America and its people. |
do not altogether like the county, said
the young gentleman, /" for one reason;
because you have no gentry here. y "What
do you mean by gentry?" asked another
of the company. Well, you know" re-
piled the Englishman, Well-oh, gentry
are those who never do any work them
selves and whose fathers before them
never did any," Ah," exclaimed bis
interlocutor, "then We have plenty Of
gentry in America, but we don't call them
gentry, we call them tramps." laugh
went around the table and the young En-
glishman turned his conversation into
another channel. Graphic.
"GIF DER CHEESE A VAR CHANCE. =
The man staggered into a tidy lunch
house over the Rhine, Topped into chair,
slapped his feet upon the table, showed his
hat on the back of his head, and called for
beer, bread and Limburgher The pro-
prieter hustled around and filled the order
himself.
The man picked up bit of the cheese
on fork and smelled Mt it dorisively.
Take that away" nc said, land bring
me some decent cheese. It's 1imburghcr
| want-this is no good
whats de matter nit dat cheese, my
friendP Vas id doc stroug9 l haff zoom
dot vas vresher," said the German, anxious
to please.
Strong! Naw That's what want.
This cheese is no count at all. | want
something l can smell clear across the
room. Trot it out and be lively. This
don't smell bad bit-felch in the rankest
you have got. I've got Dutch stomach
if was born in America" And the man
smelled at the cheese again, and threw it
down in disgust
The proprietor bowed over the table
and also shifted u few times. He then
turned an injured look on the captiou'
customer, and persuasively said
dot vas not fair, mine frinde; dool
down dem foots of der dablc, and Gif dc
cheese fair chance"