The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1879-06-27
5Niscrll famous.
Five and a Half-Patched.

| am bachelor, an OLD bachelor; at least
that's what my nieces-prctty, saucy, clever,
lovable girls-call me and no doubt they're
right, though | can't go so far as to agree with
them when they declare man owning to five
and-forty years and a dozen white hairs "dc-
cidedly venerable" and "fearfully gray"
However, an Old bachelor am dubbed, and
must confess, if to acquire that distinction
one is obliged to enjoy life to the utmost, as |
do, and be made much of by lovely women
and charming maidens, as | am, | have no
serious objection to the title.
In the first place, my home is home in
every sense of the word, although without
mother, or even a mother-in-law.
| occupy, and have occupied for the past
year. suite of remarkably pleasant rooms,
the front windows looking on n city park,
and the back on Il garden made delightful by
two fine old pcach-trccs, a heavy grapevine,
and Il understanding wistala. The latter
has climbed to my windows, and twining in
and out of the Stats ofthc shutters, etfcctualy
prevents my closing them, but gives me in
recompensc great fragrant punches of purple
flowers
These cheerful rooms are part and parcel of
Mrs, Midgcts boarding-housc. No, am
wrong. Mrs. NIidget-Mr. Midget was lost
at sea five years ago-does not keep board
ing-housc, but mkeS few select boarders, of
whom she is pleased to intimate she considers
me the selcctcst.
Wonderfully comfortable the "fcw select"
find it in Mrs Midgcts shady, od-flshioned,
neatly kept, threc-story brick house
Every thing like wax" my eldest sister
says when she comes to visit me, which is
about once in four weeks-a day or two after
my magazines have arrived.
"And the landlady," | invariably reply,
"isn't she awful cunning so demure in her
ways and speech for such II wee thing. and
50 pretty, with her bright blue eyes and yell
low hairw
But Maria, l can't divine why, pretends
not to hear me, or else repeats, with scornful
emphasis, lawful cunningW
The fact is, Pm so much among my kins-
women that often find myself, when / wish
10 be particularly emphatic, borrowing their
queer adjcctives and peculiar forms of cX-
preston.
"Indecd, uncle" said Charley to me the
other day-namcd for me, Charlotte Charles
as near as they could get at it)-"you're be-
ginning to talk like girl-and at your time
of life toow And didn't feelat all insuted :;
for if all girls talk as well as my nicccs CON
slider Charlcy's remark rather compliment
| than otherwise.
Mrs. Midget knows how to furnish Il table,
too; all sorts of little delicacies and uneX-
pccted tidbts, stcws and hashes above re
proach, bread and pies marvels of culinary
skill, and tea and cofiec-wcll, 7eaRy coffee
and tea.
As for Mrs Midget herself, she's such tot
of woman that feel like laughing outright
every time | look at her, perchcd on pile
of music-books placed on a chair-the chair
| itself taller than any of the "fcw selects"-at
| the head of the dining table. Indeed, only
the other day, when she asked, in solemn
manner, fixing her blue eyes on my face, and
| lifting large soup ladle in her mite ola hand
if / would have some soup, | did burst out
| laughing, she looked so ge,y like little CIR!
playing dinner with her mothers dinncr-set.
The miniature woman laid down her ladle
and gazed at me in surprise.
| "Mrs Midget, beg your pardon" said
81 suddenly thought of n man saw at the
circus"
"Ohw said Mrs Midget, and returned to
the soup.
| Pm romantic old fcllow-thcre, you sec
how naturally fall in my nieccs' way-love
poetry, music, flowers Mrs. Midget always
has a posy ready forme in summertime, which
she pins into my button-hole with her own
fair hands and assure you it's not at all un-
pleasant to have her standing on the tips of
her toes to reach it, with her small round
head just touching my CHM, and the fair sex.
| Yes, old bachelor as | am, love, and al
ways have loved, the fair sex; and really
think it is because love them so well l still
remain unmarried. | never could make up
my mind that one of all those | admired was
prettier, brighter, and sweeter than the
others, and as / wanted the sweetest, pref,
tiest, and brightest, have been in dilemma
all my life. But I've always meant to, and
my intention is stronger than ever since the
day picked up the little patched glove in
Broadway in front of Stewards.
| feel convinced that the owner of that
glove is the wife for me. / wear it next my
heart. Silly? Not bit of it. No single
man could help wearing II glove like that
near his heart.
Five and a half, pretty mouse-color; every
finger well filled out, scarcely u crease in
them-she must be plump; a faint smell o.
rose las u general thing, with the exception
ofhonest Cologne, detest perfumes, but if
can endure any, it is rose, calling to mind, al
it does, bees, butterflies, flowers, and all thai
sort of thing, and the cunningest patch il
the palm of the hand.
Now I'd never seen a patch in glove be
fore, so IL struck me as something odd, and
examined it critically. The manner in which
that patch was sewed in told me the weare
of the glove was neat and methodical til,
lfine silken stitches used in sewing that patel