davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25
A Demoralized Editor.

An editor was sitting in his easy
chair, buoyant in mind and hear,
with the calm serenity and blissful
tranquility that none but editors
know, A shuff1ing sound at the
door brought him back to earth,
and facing nervously about, he be
held man of deep, determined
look, closing the door behind him.
With a sickly feeling of foreboding,
the editor motioned toward a chair,
and gazed upon the intruder, help
less and breathless, resigned to meet
the worst.
The hand of the man wandered
toward his breast pocket. The ed
itor's cheek blanched and his lips
turned blue. Alas! alas! he had
guessed Alright the dread mission of
the stranger.
The man pulled out a bundle of
letters and papers. The head of
the editor fell forward upon his
breast, and the hands dropped list
less from the arms of his chair.
"My errand is not a pleasant
one," said the visitor, speaking
slowly.
"Thank heavenr' exclaimed the
editor, plucking up courage. "Out
with it-suspense is worse than
fate"
"I have an execution on your
home," continued the man, with
professional sadness. "The mort
gage has been foreclosed."
"Hoora! ha! hap roared the edi-
tor, springing up and nearly shak-
ing the mans arm off. "Heaven be
praised! but what scare you did
give me! Blister my corns if l
didn't think you had chunk of
spring poetry. Drive on-sell the
old shanty-it's rat eaten barrack
and rents are taken off my
mind! Let's have your name and
down it goes for two years free
subscription. You're an angel in
breeches, old fellow, but you don't
look like it, darned if you do. Ha!
ha! Cut your hair, and wear a
stand up collar. 1t will save your
children sorrow"
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25

eth of the soda fountain freely and
belcheth anon the same shall be
grievously afflicted as to his nos
trils.
The foolish man entereth in unto
the drug store, and sayeth 10 here
and 10 there, but the drug man
laugheth him to scorn and sayeth
unto him, Go to, 1 know not where
of ye speak; we have naught of
such to sell, for 1t be against the
law.
And the foolish man is sore dis
tressed, for his soul thirsteth and
panteth after a drink, and can not
be comforGed.
But the wise man winkett with
his eye, and saith, Give unto thy
servant that which tarryeth in the
black bottle beneath the counter;
which the same it is called soda
water.
p And the drugman doeth unto
him as he is commanded, ard he
taketh much precaution, lest he be
seen with the bottle, but he maketh
much noise drawing the soda water.
: For of such is not the law, but
the prohts.tt% 49, = - 80,
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25
Soda Water.

st. Louis Times-Journal: Wine
is a mocker, strong drink is raging
but soda water maketh q man be at
peace in his innermost parts.
1t sizzleth and foameth in the fla
gon, and the feeling thereof pene-
trateth even unto the soles of ones
feet and doeth. him good to the top
of his hair.
Oh, come let US sing a new song
unto the sarsaparilla, let US rejoice
in the vanilla cream. likewise in the
pineapple that pleaseth the palate
and the strawberry that filleth the
epiglottis with exceeding joy.
Why doth the son of man go
about seeking those waters of life
which doth prevail naughtily
against the nostrils and maketh one
to think that there be dead thing
therein.
The soda water entereth in unto
US and it quencheth our thirst, yea,
verify it purgeth our system for q
nickel, unless, perchance, the vender
thereof be of a froward heart and
demandeth dime. Belch not that
ye be not belched, for whose drink
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25
THEIR FAMILIES.
The Scheme Mrs. Gaines Has on Foot
to Evangelize Congress.

The champion lady litigant, Mrs.
Myra Clark Gaines, arrived in this
city from Louisiana Saturday, and
was promptly visited by q Post in
vestigator.
Mrs. Gaines, you are the nomi
nal possessor of almost untold
wealth, by your successful suits.
When in your possession how do
you propose to apply it, as you have
said you intended for the good of
mankindr'
''In the first place, / mean to un-
dertake more difficult task than
when, forty-seven years since, l be-
gan my suits. 1 am going to try
and reform the politicians of my
country"
''Where do you begin, in the Sen
ateT'
81 take in all Congress. My plan
is to build and equip a large hotel
here in Washington where the ac-
.commodation and prices will en-
courage our legislators to bring
their families with them"
"And you think that this will
work the desired result?''
eyes; the influence of good wo-
men would purify the air of this city
as nothing else know Of"
"How does your New Orleans suit
stand at PRESENT.
"Well, having refused to dispos-
sess the 800 poor families now oc-
cupying my property, and been re
fused money by the Mayor,-I have.
brought suit against the city for.
the rents and profits, it having
good title to the inno-
cent purchasers. The amount has
beer ascertained by a master in
Chancery, and will foot up SIG, ,OO0,-
600 to $I7,O00,0OO."
as that all you have on hand;
Just nowr
GAS soon as 1 get judgment in
this case a nsGnddnaus will be issued
to compel the City Treasurer to-
levy taxes to pay me-"
"Is that all2'
''When Congress meets 1 am 60
ing to get leave to file suit in the
Court of Claims against the United1
States to recover the value of some
Of my land given to Gen. LaFay
ette."
The brisk little lady, who is 72
years of age, has not gray hair,
and can talk "like anything" then
gave a short sketch of her life to the
which sounded like a ro-
nance Washington Post.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25
Compressed Flour.

We are now told that flour sub
jected to a hydraulic pressure of
300 tons can be reduced in volume
more than % per cent. and yet re-
tain all the qualities it had previ-
GUS to such violent treatment.
Some of the -four was put into
hermetically tight tins. At the
same time other -four manufactured
from the same wheat, but not com
pressed, was also sealed up. After
three months samples of both kinds
were opened and examined. The
pressed was pronounced to be the
best. Twelve months after this
another examination was made with
the same results. Two kinds were
kneaded into loaves and baked.
The pressed -four made the best
bread. In another year the boxes
we're again opened and examined,
and while the loose -four showed
moldiness. the pressed was sweet
and retained all its qualities. Made
into bread the same difference was
observable.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25
josh Billingsisms.

If young man hain't got we'll
balanced head like to see him part
his hair in the middle.
l don't take any foolish chances.
If wuz called on TO mourn over a
dead mule should stand in front
OF him and do my weeping.
There is no man so poor bat
what he kan afford to ceep one dog,
and have seen EN- so poor that
they could afford to keep three.
Isay to , thirds of the ritch peo.
pie in this world, make the most Of
your money, for it makes the most
of you. Happy thought.
L never argy agIn a success. when
see a rattlesnaix's head sticking
out of hole, bear of to the left
and say to myself that hole belongs
to that snaiX. ..r
There is one thing in this world
that money can't buy, and that is
the wag Of dogs tail.
Flattery is like colone water-to
be smelled of, not swallowed.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25

ton, and q procession of the Presi
dents of the United States follows.
As the procession moves, Washing.
ton rises and salutes each figure IA
it passes, and it in turn salutes him.
They move through the door on
the other side, and it is then closed
behind them. This procession
moves to the accompaniment of
music played by the clock itself.
The music machinery is capable OF
playing several airs.
The mechanism also gives the
correct movements of the planets
around the sun, comprising Mercu
ry, which makes the revolution
once in SS days; Venus, once In
224 days; Mars, once in CSC DAYS
Vesta, once in 1928 days; Juno,
once in 1888 days; Ceres, once in
1851 days; Jupiter, once in 4,342
da s; Saturn, once in 30 years; /;
Uranus,once in S5 years. As these
movements are altogether too slow
to be popularity enjoyed, the invent
or has added a device by which he
can hasten the machinery TO show
its workings TO the public.
There are dials which show the
hour, minute and second in Detriot,
Washington, New York, San Fran
cisco, st. Petersburg, Constantine
pie, London, Paris, Berlin, Vienna,
Carlo, Pakin and Melborne. The
clock also shows the day OF the
week and month in Detroit, the
month and season of.the year, the
changes of the moon, etc. It. is
said that Mr.. Meier has worked on
this clock nearly ten years, and for
the last four years has devoted his
whole time TO it.LfScientlfic Amer
Ican.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25
ASTOUNDING.
Fire Without Fuel, Ashes or Smoke,
and Almost Without Expense.

A correspondent has sent us a
startling letter from Miss NJ. Betham
Edward, from which we give an ex
tract: "I send you the following
particulars of a recent scientific in
vention, just patented, and destined
without doubt to play a very impor-
tant part In our econom C history.
l think it must be regarded as a
solution for once and for all of the
great coal question not only among
ourselves, but abroad. NJ. Bour
bonnet, of Dion, the celebrated lion
and panther slayer, lighted upon
the following discovery by hazard,
and after six years. persistent in
vention brought it to entire worka-
bic perfection. He discovered by
means of two natural substances,
lnexhaustible in nature, the
means OF lighting and maintaining
a fire without wood or coal; a fire
instantaneously lighted and extin
guished; a fire causing no dust,
smoke, or trouble; a fire costing
one-tenth at least of ordinary fuel;
and, what is more wonderful still, a
fire, the portion of which answering
to our fuel is eveTlasting-that is
to say, would last lifetime. Mr..
BourbonnePs invention comprises
both stove and fuel. The fires
could be on the minutest scale or on
the largest. They would be used
for heating q baby's food, or for
roasting an OK. Being lighted in
simultaneously they will be a
great economy of time. NJ. Bour-
bonnel at once patented his inven
tion, and a body Of engineers and
savants from Paris visited him and
pronounced his discovery one of
the most remarkable of the age.
He has had several offers for the
purchase of the patent in France,
but wants TO sell it in England, his
own occupation being in another
line. Any English gentleman or
firm wishing to see his fires or
stoves could do so by writing to
him a day or two beforehand. His
is M. Bourbonnel, Dijon.
have seen these fires
and stoves. There is no mistake
about the matter. 1t is as clear as
possible that here we have a perpet
usl and economical source of fuel.
Two hundred years ago the discov-
erer would surely have been burned
as wizard.-[ London Athaneum.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25
Early Rising.

The Exeter Newsletter says !:
"FOr farmers and those who live in
localities where people can retire at
eight or nine o'clock in the evening,
the old notion is still appropriate.
But he who is kept up until ten or
eleven or twelve O'Clock, and then
rises at five or six, because of the
teachings of some old ditty about
early rising commits a sin against
his own soul. There is not one
mai in a thousand who can afford
to do without seven or eight hours
sleep. All the stuff written about
great men vino sleep only three or
four hours is spocryphal. They
have been put upon such small al
lowances occasionally and pros
pered; but no man ever yet kept
healthy in body and mind for a
number of years with less than sew
en- hours sleep.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25

"If you can get to bed early then
rise early; if you cannot go to bed
till late, then rise late. 1t may be
as proper for one man to rise at
eight as it is for another to rise at
five. Let the rousing bell be rung
at least 80 minutes before your pub
lie appearance. Physicians say
that sudden jump out of bed gives
irregular motion to the pulse. 1t
takes hours 10 get over too sud-
den rising. 1t is barbarous to ex-
pect children to land on the center
of the floor at the call of their nurs-
es. Give us time after you call us
to roll over, gaze at the world full
in the face, and look before we
leap"
There is a vein of sense in the
above, though we think, on the
whole, the old adage "early to bed
and early to rise" is the most in &C
cordance with nature, and so far as
possible we should live on this plan.
Especially should the young form
the habit of going to bed early.
When they do this they will enjoy
getting up early better than to be
crawling out after nine o'clock.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25
"A NEGRO FARM SONG,


Now dsirain am come atlast,
An detong drouf time is PAST,
An de grass am comm fast,
In de shower;
r. AM de mornin' gl6ry sbrier,
AM de Pusly's sgrowin' higher
Eb'ry hour.
CHORUS:
Oh, darkies. mind dis warning.s
Hpu won hsb long'to play.
Forsdem glofiessin de mornin'
Brings troubleIall de day.
Oh, de cabbage laugh to-day,
An de squashasSsing an' play,
An dem taters grow away
Out degrow;
But de cuckleburs am sprinRinR,
And de debil's seed am .6ringinS
Work an Wo.' (CHoRUs.)
Now -darkies, ,shore,s.yon born, ~
Massa Reuben's early horn
Will can.you IN dateofn
Wild de plow;f -.''.
For de rag.woedssam loomin',
An; dem May weeds am a bloomin',
Tell you nowb (CHoRUs.)
Oh, de rain-crow call de rain
For de white. fdlks good and gain.
BntdA darkfes work in pain,
3 'Mo'gAnd mo-; ssaE frs
For de coffee-weed am smilin',
AM dat -cottonAfield am sspilin'
Eor &c hoe. (CHoBUs.)
Tank de Lor', He know de best
For de Parchin' crop am blest,
AM de dsrkies hab some rest
In de shower;
But dat mornin' glory brier
An dat pusly's growin' higher.
Eb'ry hour. (CHoRUs.)
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25
Area and Population of Texas.

Texas has vast domain. Be
tween the Sabine river on the east,
the Red river on the west, and the
400 miles of coast line on the south
you inclose 274,OO0 square miles,
or over 175, 100000 acres of terri
tory. This one state is larger than
the kingdom Of Great Britain, larg-
er than France and larger thaa the
German empire. You could carve
out of Texas thirty five states as
large as Massachusetts, or nearly
six as large as New York. Place
the six New England States on
Texas, and you have covered but
little more than one-fourth of the
great State. Add all the middle
States, and still you have covered
only about two thirds. Not till you
have combined Maryland, Virginia
and Ohio with the Middle and New
England States do you equal the
immense area of Texas.
And this "Lone STAR is not so
lonely as some may imagine. 1t al
ready has a population Of 100000,
and the marvellous immigration now
pouring into the State increases the
number at the rate of 100000 a
year. These new settlers are most
ly from the Northern States and
from Europe. Well, let them come,
Uncle Sam is rich enough
To buy US all a farm.
You could gather the entire pop
ulation of the United States into
Texas, and not have it more crowd
ed than some parts of our land are
now Troy Times.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25
A Peculiar Duel.

There is a curious duel now
pending in Boston, which began
several years ago. Mr.. A., a bach
elor, challenged Mr.. b., a married
man with one child, who replied
that the conditions were not equal,
that he must necessarily put more
risk with his life than the other, so
he declined. A year afterward he
received a challenge from A., who
stated that he, too, had wife and
child, and he supposed, therefore,
the objection of 3. was no longer
valid. b. replied that he now had
two children, consequently the inc
quality still existed. The next
year A. renewed his challenge, hav
ing now two children also, but his
had three. The matter,
when last heard from was still go
ing on, the numbers being six TO
seven, and the challenge yearly re-
newed.- London Truth.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25

Unfortunately for the country
and the National Administration
there is too much truth in the fol-
lowing paragraph from the New
York Sun: "If anything was want
ing 20 establish the nature Of the
bargain made between John Sher-
man and the Returning Board. IL
would be found in the absolute
power with which Wells and Ander-
son have controlled all the Federal
patronage in New Orleans, and
treated It as a reward for their ser
vices. Every important appoint
ment has been made under their di-
rection, and three Of the four mem.
bers Of the Board are now said 10
have between forty and fifty Of
their relatives an intimate friends,
billeted on the Treasury, irrespec-
tive of persons appointed for pArti
san reasons. This favoritism is
not confined TO the mere tenure of
Office, for it is notorious that frauds
have been, and are still, committed
on the revenue, by which large
sums Of money are pocketed by
these agents Of the Treasury, whom
John Sherman dare not dismiss.
When some charges are made
against them, some excuse is always
found, simply because Hayes and
Sherman are in the power Of desper-
ate scOundrels, whose grip will new
er be relaxed while the administra-
tion has anything TO give"
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25
Rest for Headaches.

DIR. Day, in a late lecture, says
that "whatever be the plan of treat
meDt decided upon, rest is the first
principle to inculcate in every severe
headache. Rest, which the busy
man and anxious mother can not
obtain so long as they can keep
about, is one of the first remedies
for every headache, and we should
never cease to enforce 1t. The
brain, when excited, as much needs
quiet and repose as a fractured
limb or an in1amed eye, and it is
obvious that the chances of short
ening the seizure and arresting the
pain will depend on our power to
bave this carried out effectually. 1t
is a practical lesson to keep steadi
ly in view, in that there may lurk
behind a simple headache some les
son of unknown magnitude which
may remain stationary if quietude
can be maintained. There is a
point worth attending to in the
treatment of all headaches. See
that the head is elevated at night,
and the pillow hard; for if it be soft
the head sinks into it and becomes
hot, which with some people is
enough to provoke an attack in the
morning if sleep has been long and
heavy"
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25


The shorthand reporter who took
down Kalloch's speech, which pro
voked DeYoung to shoot him, says
the Reverend defamer used this
language: "He (DeYoung is bas-
tard, whose mother by reason OF
her occupation didn't know the
father of her own brat that was nur-
tured in the lap OF prostitution and
trained as a pimp to his own sis
ters." The mother of DeYoung is
a respectable woman nearly eighty
years of age, and his sisters are
said to have been equally without
reproach. Almost any man with a
soul large enough to be saved,
would have been moved to slay the
foul-mouthed, reeking slanderer on
sight. The mistake DeYoung made
was in not making his aim fatally
accurate. Kalloch was the candi-
date of the workingmen of San
Francisco for Mayor and q cola
borer of Dennis Kearney, the chief
of the commune of the Pacific slope.
-EAthens Post.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25
We Thought So.

A Washington letter of the End
says: yesterday and to-day
brought to the city a number of
Democratic Congressman, officials
and politicians from the White Sui
phur Springs, where they have been
rusticating during the summer
One of the number, who is a jour
nalist as well as an official, says
that he made it a point during
his stay to talk with all of the pub
lie men OF prominence from the
South who visited the Springs on
the subject of the next Presidency
from the Democratic standpoint.
From what he heard he is firmly of
the opinion that the South favors
the nomination of the old ticket of
Tilden and Hendricks. He does
not believe that there IS any spec
ial love for Tilden among the
Southern people, but they seem to
feel that he is the man that can
win"
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25
OUR ROAD.LAWS.
They Need Remodeling as Well as
the F,oads Themselves.

We -have-seEeral times referred to
the wretched condition of public
roads, and notice that many of our
exchanges are making the same
eoInplaint. A gentleman in this
county, having charge of a pubic
road, explains some of the Difficult
ties that everseers have to contend
with, observing that there were in
his district about twenty exemp-
tions, all able, active men. One
gentleman who deals largely in to
bacco, and who does more heavy
hauling over the road than all the
balance of the community, is past
forty five years of age. and road
free, one son is post master, anoths
er is deputy post master, and the
third druggist, and consequently
all of the family are exempt. Then
come the preachers, white and col
ored; every other man is preacher,
doctor, miller, POSTMASTER, or is
past. forty five years of age. The
oyerseer is under the necessity of
riding a-day-of two -to-zsammo on
road workefs, and if he fails to see
them personally or give them a
strictly legal notice, with threats of
the law. they will not obey the sum-
mons, and those who do. attend re-
fuse. to work rbecause neighbUrs
Jones, Smith and Jinks are not
present, to do their part. Conse
quently, the overseer is, barely able
to get enough done to excuse him
from the penalty of, the law, and is
under the necessity of doing the
greater part of the work himself
No doubt every 7overseer In the
state has experienced similar -trou-
BILE, and there is but one way, by
which to remedy the evil, and that
is change of the road laws. Have
the roads worked by contract and
levy Especial tax to meet expenses.
In this way people who use the
roads most will be compelled to pay
or'the work. A special tax might
be levied upon every wagon, carfi-
age, buggy, horse and mule and
other privileges;i also fifty cents
added to every poll" Let out the
contract on a given day to the low
est bidder for the year, specifying
,he condition; in which the road is |
to be kept, and create the magis
rates and constables road inspec-I
,ors to- ssee that the work is well
lone and give recommendation for
pay. There is 10 occasion fol, ar 4
,sii7.g the advantages and necessities
ierigood roads. The roads of this
country have actually become dis
grace to civilization Clarksvllle1
Tobacco Leaf. l.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-09-25
Singular.

1t is strange disposition in the
average man to always want to talk
of that of which he knows, practic-
ally, the least. The other day we
heard two disciples of Blackstone
making the neighboring angles vo-
cal with an animated discussion on
the science of agriculture; at the
same time, within earshot were two
merchants holding forth enthusias-
tically about the population of cat
tie; while not far off was an enter
prising farmer wrangling with q
brick mason as to the best mode of
running and gearing a tub-mill.
We are acquainted with lots of peo-
pie who know more of hygenic
principles and the virtue of medi
cine than all the doctors in the
land; others who know better what
certain passages of Scripture mean
than the Infinite Intelligence which
inspired them; and we would not
be. surprised if at any time some
self-sufficient rail -mauler were to
step in and deliver himself of few
practical suggestions on getting up
paper that would please every
body. If we knew exactly when
the latter intended to call we would
try to be at home.