Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1879-07-02
A FAST JOB PR
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u Most peoplo Win = knoW1o1n1 &uns
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For su1eay, dasiine wsme eDsl
--CasuvS Jwnk
1UNNY01A11xG.
i TEE farrier may y slow, hi + =
shoer. =
1 Is not 1 dstective d ~ Uniesd
States coinage bnreau . mint y7
i TH1 Democrats In congres seen q -
like club without my bask. IN Il
Herald.
THERE hvsry nttls dih11sass ts3~sea
I man who res ghost and ono who
swallows = bad oyster, % FIR - looh ~
concerned.
NEXT to the modest, shrinking yiolet,
the most unostentatious thingin natures
vast and variegated kingdom h tho cdr
cus-poster.
You've farmer-How can We tell you
chow to cure 4 ham" unless you inform
us what ails the ham - OnciMssati 6dtHs-
day Night.
eve have yet to hear Of pies being
made of currents of the ocean," remarks
the New York E1press. Current news,
however, is sometimes made into hash.
MAN is q gudgeon.-woman h the
line; her smile, tho doat; her kisa, tho
bait; love 10 the hook; and marriage Il
the frying-pan.-Pxck
IT Just tickles ! fish TO death to pop
his head ont of the water and see 8
crowd Of mortals mopping their unhap-
py brows on shore.-N r Cbsssswcjok
A MIss1ssIPPI man puts Il thus:
"At the earnest solicitation of those
to whom owe meney have CONSENTED
to become candidate for county treas
ureT."
THE season of open Window h supon ua.
and the young man who ID learning the
6ute or accordion viii soon begin to goad
the nervous neighborhood TO madnea.-
Boston Bulletin.
"HELLo. dad, howdyi" said Lorne
to Argyle, slapping the old gentleman on
the shoulder. Dear, dear" remarked
the duke, chow American life has
spoiled that boys mannsrsl'
An American soldier was drowned IN
the Niagara river the other day. II
Sitting Bull hears how our army he's
been reduced thore'u b trouble.-
Philadelphia CAsumicls- HHdh.
THE Democratic pres feels - badly
over the Tribune ballads ~ Mr.. Jones
did over the death of hin mother-in-lAw.
~ was never 20 diaguSted In all my
life" said Mr.. Jones, weeping copiously.
-Bs6dlo Espvess.
A GEORGIA farmer kills snakes, lays
them In . furrow and plants corn IN tho
lfurrow.-Mew York Herald. Great
Scottl Whom that corn comes to b
distilled and consumed-. Bat " dca,t
like to think Of it.-Bosten Psst.
In. man who " stole march " took
onense," "seised IN opportunity"
"broke into canter," "upset every
body's gravity" and "struck IN atu-
tude. ."-FwSsy Folks.
An exchange asks ifit would b proper
to speak of kerosene explosion = light
affection. Boston J6swMak Why not
call it . work Of arts bust Of Burns,
say -Cincianati COssssWci01.
THE other day the widow Oliver was
reading about some man who Nv the
sea serpent. Blessed Virgin," shs ex-
claimed, shuddering, !" how can men "
sof" And Jim Anderson, who had inst
dropped In, said that he and HrA Jenks
had Just been talking about Il, and they
thought the same thing Bswiin1tss
Hassksys.
/ SYMPATHETIC sister: "Don't b %
croa, Billy. What's the matter with
youf" Billy: "Why, Tommy Stubs
has rot the measles, and / Amt" s. 81:
"Never mind, there 'ull b plsaty Of
measles left when he's done with 'em.
Be Z good boy and mind Ill Sunday
School teacher tells you, and perhaps
you'll have 'em, too, some day."-ftn.
A RURAL bride Of considerable beauty
went to indianapolis on the honeymoon
tour. Her husband was manifegtly
proud Of her good looks Whils thsy
were going about the city she was struck
in tho face By falling signboard, and
her nose broken. The attending surgeon
said that she wm badly diG6Gured for
LIE. "Just my daEned luck, ~ hus-
hand exclaimed, property always goes
70 ruin in my hands"
j PuLpr Themes: "What shall /
4 preach about" nid . minister 70 = pas-
tor Of colored dock whom be Va 70
address. "well 'moS emmy sabieck
win Be 'ceptable," ," was the reply; only
I'd like 10 give you one word Oh cenr
tion." "Ahl Whist i itr /" Well e !