Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1879-03-21
ALL SORTS.

way
Tho sons raise cometh only after
many callings.
- Gentle sbrig, ethereal bildness,"
is here at last. Graphic.
"A man is not always upright who
has been brought up right.
"A case is sometimes gained through
perjury and sometimes per jury.
Woman wants but little here below,
but wants that little in the fashion.
Six counties in Iowa have lady
of Common Schools.
-Faber, who built the first lead pen
Gil factory in the United States, is dead.
"A Burlington blacksmith has just
established a conservatory of horse
shoeing."
How can a man live beyond his
means when he means to get all he can.
Boston Transcript.
We personally know of three de-
voted five dollar bills which have been
celebrating lent for quite long while.
Wheeling Lender.
There is no place like home"-
unless it is some nice young girls home,
when the old folks are at class meeting,
and the matchbox is empty.
-" All men were created equal"
says the Declaration of independence,
but, judging from the size of their feet,
the assertion appears to be falsehood.
The pensive goat, as he digs up
from under the snow his first oldstock-
ing lunch of the spring, wonders who
knit his browse for him.-NetO HGUen
Register.
Bret Harte has made a name for
himself On the title page of a book
of his, translated into the Servian
language, appears the words: !" Shest
Kalifornilsklkn Pircha Breta Kharta."
-" Mother is all the time telling me
not to bolt my food" said the small
boy, "and now she has gone and bolt
ed up the cupboard that has got all the
company victuals. ."-NstO HaUen Reg
lister.
Country Connoisseur-"N Now you
are quite sure those are real
'chromosP " Country dealer draper
and grocer, etc. )-"O, yes, sir-we al
ways has 'em direct from his studio,
sir"-PuRch.
The best religion is that which will
make a colored man sit down content
to eat corn bread for supper, knowing
at the same time that neighbor has
fat chickens and no dog in his yard
-Ne1O Orleans PcGytthe.
An itinerant type-slinger solicits a
job on the strength of possessing ten
presses. An investigation disclosed
four lemon-squeezers, two f1at-irons, q
pair of tongs and discarded pair of
corsets. Meriden recorder.
II never thought but once" said
old Deacon Webbing, ." that it was a
sin to steal an umbrella" "And when
was thatP" asked a friend. :" 1t was
when some pesky thief stole my new
silk one," answered the deacon.
From maple trees now on the tap,
Falls drop by drop the lucent sap;
SO now seek out with Betsy GOT
The bush where first they sugar off.
-Graphic.
Full many gem of rarest razor e'en
The dark unfathomed caves tonsorial bear; (;
Full many an artists born to brush unseen,
Aud dull his scissors on the desert hair.
Puck.
The foolish man foldeth his hands,
and saith: "There is no trade, why
should | advertiser" But the wise man
is not so. He whoopeth it up in the
newspapers, and verify he draweth
customers from afar off, SttlLtOGteT
LunbeTnlGn.
An exchange says that the only
Jokes women like to read are those
which reflect ridicule on men, and as
serts in proof that on taking up paper
woman invariably turns to the mar
riage column. This is a high-menial
charge against the fair sex.-Graphtc.
Sound" said the schoolmaster,
lis what you hear. For instance, you
cannot feel sound" ooh, yes, you
caur' said smart boy. John Will
kins," retorted the pedagogue, show
do you make that outP What SOUND can
you feelp" "a sound thrashing,"
quickly replied the smart boy.
-. % There was was one net thing my farm gn
as he softly worried the roll of tobacco,
and then expectorated on the stove.
And as the statesmen who were sitting
around the cracker barrel patiently
awaited his explanation, he continued:
"And thatwas mortgage. "-Rocktd''d
Courier.
-"'Tis sweet to hear the watch
dogs honest bark, bay deep mouthed
welcome" etc., murmurs the poet, and
from the poets standpoint it may be
all right, but when we are coming
down lonely road at night in strange
place, we don't want any watch dog,
and but very little bay in ours. Bridge
port Standard.
-"I should like to have you raise a
club" said 7x9 book canvasser to a
daughter of Erin, as he stood on the
front step trying to talk her to death on
| the subject of the Extinction of the
Tribes of the Seventh Century" 81
will" said Biddy, as she reached
around behind the door, 4" but bad luck
to your picture if you're lingering
around here when l get it raised" He
didn't linger. EinirG Gazette.
The Marquis of Lorne and the
Princess Louise were out sliding down
hill in Quebec the other day. Queen
Victoria heard of it, and without wait
ing to put on her sun bonnet, ran down
to the telegraph office and telegraphed
TO them: "Come right into the house,
or I'll spank both of you; you two
idiots, catching your death cold out
there in the snow. oil City Derrick.
Before marriage" my darling
your voice is as musical to me as a
vesper bell whose tones fall softly on
the perfumed evening air! Speak
again, and say those words, my beloved
for could listen to your voice until
the stars are extinguished in everlast-
ing nightr' After marriage" I've
had just enough of your clapper, old
woman. and if you don't let up I'll
leave the house. - Net0arb Gazette.
"A teacher in one of the Westfeld
public schools was startled the other
day at the answer she got from one
bright little fellow. On the blackboard
was the picture of an ostrich, and the
teacher described its great strength and
power of endurance, closing by saying
1t was the only bird upon which man