Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-04-04
Product of the Puns,ers.

gravy.
Dolor stores Where obey sen mourn.
ing goods.
Crate sympathy That given To Jailed
criminals.
Drawing from nature is contagious,
that is to say its sketching,
The revival in business will excite
anything buta Moody feeling,
Miled insanity is an expression syn
onymous with pedestrian mania.
Heis wise Egyptian who knows his
own mummy.
lisa ship engaged IN the hardware
business when she is making tacks
Mrs. Matrimonial lucompatbility
anNlously question, VIII divorce fol,
low suit
President Scott is renewing his youth
i'll Egypt. Il makes some men 0ee.nile
to ~ there, philadelphia RuQttm,
a masked burglar has got ten years
III the state prison NJ Long Island, No
more maSkiaidtnS for HIM,
II isn't every bridge builder who
wants 70 hc tried by n jury Of his piers,
~ Cincinnati Saturday Night,
A man cutting CASTLE SOAP with n
castStcol knife knows the fitness Of
things, Netc Orleans Pioay,ne.
Kate T. inquiries il colds are contagi-
Gus. Certainly, Kate L. ; for if n cold
is not catching how can it I've caught?
A great many young men who cry
"Westward ho!' are not so anxious to
do any hoeing after they set there.
The difference between church dea-
con and picture auctioncer is, one
takes up and the other knocks down n
collection.
OF all the (orlorn looking places n
skating park struck 10y II spring thaw
is about the forornest. Meridcp Rt-
cordtc
The proprietor Of a bone factory am
nounces thlt persons leaving their
bones for INN can have any ground
at short notice.
1t was little Scotch girl Of 7 who,
upon being asked whether she would
marry or remain single. said Neither;
| shall be widow
AN Ohio man had his neck broken
while trying To break colt. The
safest way 20 break colt is to hire one
of your creditors To do it.
The Shah ot Persia, the Daniel Pratt
Of Asia, is delighting his enemies Ivy
writing book ON his second visit TO
Eurnnn - nnrij,,l psnor3pr
A little HackensGck boy, VINO was
looking mp ut the stars the other even
ing, exclaimed, oh mamma, mann
ma, who's punchln' them stars :"
In swimming down the river, Paul
Boyton should be attended by drec-
tors who Will see that he makes no runs
ON the banks. -Nfv Orleans PicdNtne.
rHE English hangman has proved
himself SO proficient III his calling that
one is led 10 the conclusion that Nc
must have been II noose.hoy III his
youth.
The days have arrived when tn,
grocer refuses To trust the plumber, but
the ice-cart driver can now ret crcdi
for anything he wants. Philadelphia
Chronicle Heldld.
A young man calls his brcast-pir
Consistency, because he says Con
sistency, thou art jewel. Bat his
friends say il is bccauscit is Of the con
slstency of paste.
The New Orleans Picuyunc cruelty re.
marks that "fhe heart of many Il
burned.out merchant has been hurt hy
thoughtless insurance companies in
quirng into the cause Of II fire"
Stanley, while away down in Central
Africa discovered one or two tribes sc
hopelossly, desparingly, supromely
ignorant, that they didn't know much
more than u petit jury B,ndat.
Perhaps bank failures would be less
numerous if the managers Of the nst
tutions could manage to hold full
hand against four Of n kind, when they
played poker. -fnlon Times.
Young lady to scientific tcuton
But ! thought you were also physr
clan, DIR. Kuebcschncitzer.' Scientific
teuton-"Ahl yawl am medicine
but do not operate. - Boston 1idwtr
Robbed on bob-tail carl" That
the heading for nm article in Boston
paper. Think Of it! right in the seat o
culchaw, where the boy at the foo
Of his class would have known bet
ter and wrote It, Roberted in Rob
crt narrative car" We cali on the pro
! prietor of That paper TO fire the writer
Of the article out. - 7Olctio Gjmmercidi
They were going up in nm elevator
and the newly arrived Englishman,
after gazing in silent wonder at th,
brawny son Of Erin who handled til,
wire cable, remarked to Spicer 81 say
that is a man Of muscle now, is he not?'
To which the Intercepted sheiishly re
sponded-"Y Yes, he is a raw holster.
The Britton was heard TO murmul
family, "This il stew MUCH
Now that the Cochranc patent foi
boiling flour mas been declared void, W.
tremble amid our rejoicings lest some
BODY or other may yet claim a paten
for the boiling Of flour after il has IA
sumed the form Of bread. II royalty
could be secured on all that is holted
there'd be millions in il and no mis-
take. Boston Transcript.
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