Daily Los Angeles herald., 1879-04-25
Col. Warner Interviewed.

Our vigilant reporter has lately
interviewed Col. John J. Warner
in reference TO his views upon the
present and new Constitutions, with
the following result:
Reporter-How are you now, old
boy.
Col. Warner-Pretty well, thank
God for his mercies. How do you
find yourself, and how is Mrs. Re.
porter and the babies, present and
prospective?
Reporicr-Waiving the question
OF health for the present, have
called upon you, venerable fossil,
to learn your sentiments in regard
to that late Sacramento abortion
that, from courtesy TO our fellow
citizen, Col. Ayers, is called the
new Constitutions. Do you see this
club? Unfold your views instanta-
neous]y, or, by the beard Of Jere-
miah, L will mash you into Cas-
lillian Ollapodrida. And, first,
what do you think of the Railroad
Commission?
Col. WarEer-Take seat, my
young and comely friend, and lay
aside your ponderous weapon. 1t
is generally understood in this
community that Gen. Stoneman Is
a candidate for that Commission O Il
under the new Constitution. The
naturalist Button tells US that q
lion which has once tasted human
blood scorns brute flesh. was
born hi Boston and became trap
per in the year A. d. 1871. was
quite Intimate with Capt. Kidd.
Ourcompany consisted of Aminidab
James and fourteen others. In the
spring Of 1882, on the present sit te
OF Carson City, our company were
attacked by "a body Of Shoshones.
l was the only survivor, but with u
severe wound on the pOsterior lobe
of my csrebellum. My intellect
was not impaired, but my mind
has ever since tended to new and
wild projects. l can buy three
ploughs at a less price than twenty
seven; and yet it is very clear that
If three poor men are in the Com.
mission they will he honest be-
cause the camera Of an obscura has
been known to devour second in
tentions. The burrs of chestnut
are more diaphanous than the epi-
dermis OF rhinoceros, and there
fore by multiplying the auotient of
the segment
Reporter-Stop moment, Col.
Warner. 1 fully understand your
views on that subject. Proceed at
once to the subject of double taxa.
ton.
Col. Warner-On that matter /
am fully en- rapport with the new
Constitution. In early times, upon
the Wolfskill place, Iaborer-and
the new Constitution Is strong for
the sons of toil-took a midday
siesta under u fig tree-the fcus
cdrtca-the leaves are deciduous-
each avary becomes seed, sur
rounded with pulp; the pol
len is borne to other figs
upon the wings and legs of
lnsects-and so I told Governor
Downey when he asked me to
write an article about the Carpen-
ter mortgage, that dried figs are
easier of digestion than the fresh
fruit. Well, the laborer took q fit
and we gave him iobeIia. I am
really in favor OF double and treble
taxation. L want things wiped
out. l 60 in for the new Constitu
tion, though / told Downey that
there was no power in pen or chem
istry to restore a rotten egg. Fig
wood is incorruptible, and, as was
going to say that the hypothe-
Reporter-Thank you, Colonel,
fully comprehend your views and
feelings. They could not be better
expressed by John @. Burch. How
do you feel about the Judiciary
matter as embodied in the new
Constitution?
Col. Warner-As euchre players
say, that's my strong suit. Be
kind enough, Mr.. Reporter, to drop
that club of yours. 1t makes me
nervous. 1 played euchre once with
Fremont in Walkers Pass. IF you
will promise not to be offended and
not to raise that club Of yours
again-you want my honest views
and | will give them. The new
Constitution, in this section of the
country, rests altogether, upon
Downey, OMelveny and myself.
You have seen our call, haven't
you, for meetings at the Court
House? We three are of the
Saurian species of the vertebrated
class and the colitic series of ter
restrial mammalia. L believe in
both the Neptuuian and Vulcanian
hypotheses. There Is no doubt that
the earth was at first a spherical
fluid mass which cooled slowly by
radiation. We three-call us If
you please the new Constitutional
trinity-believe that the present
supreme Court are animals of the
artlculated class to which insects
and worms belong. They are rare
ly met with in transition rocks.
Under the new Constitution they
will become molloscous animals,
with a circulating system and or
gans of respiration, with the facul-
ty of constructing their testaceous
coverings with view to offence
and defence. For these reasons
please drop that club am heart
lily in favor of the new Constitu-
ton. The great ocean of human
rights is upheaved; the proud bird
of freedom, as manifested in the
judicial article of the new Constl-
tuition is
Reporter-Ancient Gyastlcutus, I
am charmed with your constitu-
tional views. Ia, Ia. Goodbye.