The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-05-15
MuLTuM IN PARvo.

MULTUM IN PARvO.
Coop company does not love misery.
/. "W1LL you love me when I'm grayp''
EYES, darling, until you dye"
SOMETHING new in erudition-A
horse scholar. -Povidessce Press.
TELLINa an evening visitor that it 10
getting late i : timely suggestion.
The modern patriot Is not unmindful
Of his pay while serving his country.
The industrious cobblcr works in
silence. The least said the soonest
mended.
SOME one has discovered that the
mud puddle is something to add mire.-
N. q. RcGyHne. 40
THE Wheeling Leader doesn't exact
" know what allied Archimedes, but
thinks he had the lever complaint.
TIE Cinnamon appear to have caught
the pedestrian fever. WahKee has his
sign out ON Washington street-Bostos
Advertiser.
A CARTRIDGE Is said to have been in
vented which floats on the water, tastes
good to ducks, and blows their head off
when they chew it.
WHEN . man puts an innocent hen
to work over porcelain egg, is he set
ting that hen . good egg-sample.-
PhsIadelphjG Bulktin. ).
OYSTERS are never eaten in their
fresh state in Cuba. After being taken
from tho shell they are plunged into
boiling water, then exposed to the sun
until thoroughly dried.
BuxPT1ous Old Gent Tin . directo.
rial tone)-" All! conductor, what are
we-ahl-waiting fora" Conductor
with unconcern) -"Waiting for tho
train to 60 on, sir" Old gent retires.
Punch.
A CHOICE OF EvILs.-Mamma-
Snow, Arthur, be . good boy and take
your medicine, or mamma will be very
angry" Arthur latter mature deliber-
ati0n)-'1 would rather mamma was
very angry."-Pwnch.
AwRITER on style says: ut is the
fashion in France for ladies to take
their tea in bonnets and gloves" One
objection to this is that some Of the
new bonnets do not hold much more
than lump of sugar.
SUGAR, the chemists tell us, Is COM
posed of coal and water. Now, if the
grocers would only remember this, and
put coal in the sugar, when they feel
compelled to mix it, instead of sand, it
would be gratifying to their customers.
-BNrdett.
The Indian spring is much more
lovely than the Indian summer. It is
then that the noble red man springs on
his pony and the war path, and en-
cages in agricultural pursuits by pur-
suing agriculturists and raising scalps.
N o. Rcay1se.
HH entered the grocery store, said
not . word, but allowed his cane to
swing to and fro exactly as the pendu-
lum Of clock. The grocer only said,
"No, we sell nothing on tick" and the
man with the cane passed sadly and
silently out-Loaisvs1le Courier .Josr-
nal.
In q suburban school, where an sx-
animation was conducted ON the basis
of general intelligence rather than
book lessons, the question was asked
for what was Prince Bismarck best
known, when the ubiquitous ''small
boy" vehemently declared, For
keeping big black dogv'
IT is such little orders as this that
makes the marketman's heart glad:
Nh April TO-
strawber.ies this p. n. Make net rates. Will
London a. you prefer.
Yours. etc.. lNdoT BgIIIoS,,
-Nes0 Haven Register.
SCIENTIFIC men, after spending years
of study on the subject, are now pre-
pared to declare that the 'possum does
not feign death, but that he simply,
really and truly faints. Well, we'll.
and is that all science can do with this
question after all its study, just to come
out of the same hole it went in ati
That is all that anybody, even the igno-
rant darkies of the South, ever claimed
for the possum, that it tented. Bur-
lisgtos Has0k-Eye.
A COLORADO paper says: can
Englishman, who had seen better
days. was riding in the coach to Lead
vile recently. There were good many
other people in the coach, also. will
you please said the Englishman,
open that window; I want to see the
mountain scenery An Irishman,
who was snoozing in corner, looked
up on hearing the remark, and OBJ.
served: 'Bedad, you'll see plenty of il
. month from now, when you're comm
back on fut.'"
The curate of q South London church,
whose pronunciation is more pedantic
than proper, has been very Justly
snubbed for abiding to the heir appa-
rent as though his name were written
Awlbert Edward. One of his parish
toner's asked him the other day why he
30 Significantly excluded the Prince Of
Wales in his prayers for the royal fam.
lily. Exclude himP' he asked, sur
prisedly. "What do you meanP''
"Why," she said, "yo9 always pray
for all but Edward, Prince of Wales. "
A CHILD in North Berwick, Me-, has
. kitten which has been instructed in
table manners. When called by name
she runs quickly to the side Of her mis-
tress and demurely waits while q tiny
bib, made expressly for her, is tied
around the neck. A two-ounce vial
filed with milk is then laid on the floor
beside her, and, taking it between her
paws, she raises herself on her hind
leet, puts the bottle to her mouth, and
remaining in that position drinks the
milk; then, laying the bottle gently
down, she patiently waits for her mouth
to be wiped and for the bib to be re-
moved, after which she usually in
dulges in nap.-Erchange.
How His Pants Were Abbreviated.
A JOKE is told on q certain gentle
man, which Is too good to be lost Oul
friend, who shall be nameless, pur
chased . pair Of pants . few days ago
which, upon being tried on at home, h
found to be too long. That night hi
remarked to his wife that he wishei
her to take of about an inch from eacl
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