The Red Cloud chief., 1879-10-16
Odds and Ends.

We know of but one thing that ever
reached the age of Methu>elah, and that
is a circus joke.
S%pondentS: 'Don't ask her To release
you from the engagement. Eat onions
The New Orleans Picdyune has ron
Guided that 1.-the chrome that comes
with Il package of tea is less a work of
art than is the stuff called tea"
This is the way the Chinese sing il
Mi call lille Buttlccup, dee lille Buttlccup,
Alice same mi no newell tell why;
But still mi call Buttlecup, poo lille Buttlecup,
Sweet lille Buttlecup mi.
The boy who substituted a living for
a dead hornet i'm the collection of a near
sighted cntomologiSt and then asked the
man of science Ia show him where the
insects sting is located, should be held
responsible for any irreligiouS sentiments
the victim may advance.-Bost0n Post.
1t was nj Lexington, the d~edicatory
battle of the Revolution. where the en-
battled farmer stood and fired the shot
heard round the world" An humble
man in Rhode Island has made nearly
aS much noise by simply waving a shot
gun which he didn't fire and which, for
all we know, was not ever 'loaded.-N.
J.. Com. Adrertiser.
DO YOU know D-?" inquired a
perspiring leading citizen of another on
c Street this morning. sam D."
..Yes. Friend o yours, amt hep
We'll. not very particular-good bar
room friend, You understand" Would
You indorSe a note for him?" For a re-
ply the leading citizen drew u a police
whistle and blew it-IUgiRid Enter
prise.
Said old Mr.. WiSeowl: There is
a passage of Scriptur', brutherin, thet's
impressed ME much, very much: I've
thought ont and thought ont. and I'm
alluz thinkin' ont. | diSremember Jest
whar it is, and ez fur tibet matter. Jest
what il is, but YOU carn't tell how much
NV a soils ii is to me on nv journey
through this vale q tears.-Boston
Transcript.
An exchange says Pennsylvania
Dutch girls make good preserves, but it
doesn't say how much sugar YOU take To
pound of Dutch girl, nor how long you
let 'em boil. We have seen Dutch girls so
well preserved that they We're not COM
PEELED To resort Ia the counterfeit con-
trivances and articles of the modiSte.
dentist, ct. al. The recipe for pre>erv-
ING Dutch girls should he published
NorTistown Herald.
Timber is so scarce i'm some parts
of Nebraska, that an ingenious farmer
grated all the telegraph poles along his
quarter section, and such is the fertility
of the soil and the vitalizing power of
the atmosphere in that country, that in
two years he had a full bearing orchard.
But il didn't do him much good, for
every night the telegraph operators at
Omaha and Lincoln stole his apples by
telegraph, and had the colo just as nat
urally as any boy that ever climbed a
fence.-Burfington HaWkeye.
Two solemn men-they~ strangers were
Had sat in silence till
One said al had a grandsire, sir.
That fell at Bunker Hill"
The other said, 81 want to know
How did the martyr fall?
Did British saber lay him low,
Or was he struck by ball:''
The answer came-"It was last May
He went to Boston town;
While on the hill his crutch gave way
That let the old man down."
Then said the other, Uncle Bill
Is thought a man of mark:
He didn't fall at Bunker Hill,
But he was i'm the Ark"
"Oh pshaw" the listener broke in,
"That beats all things in naturer'
But his only answer was a grin
And-"Ansas Legislature!"
-Defrpit Free Press.