The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-09-04
VARIETIES.

"A dying bequest is almost a dead
give away.-Philadelphia Chronicle Her
aid.
People call you deer when they
would fawn upon you.-Boston Tran
script.
-"Give the devil his dew" Itmay
make his place cooler.-Netc Orleans
Rcayune.
The great trouble with professional
ball clubs is to find q pitcher that will
hold water-only.-Nes0 Hduen Register.
To some men q dime that buys q
bunch of hairpins looks fifty times as
large as that which purchases two
glasses of beer Wheeling Leader.
There are no Roman Catholic
Judges in the Supreme Courts in Great
Britain, but five member of Her Majes-
TVS Frivy Council are Roman Catholics.
An English paper states that alb
stemious and facetious are the only two
words in the English language wherein
the five vowels follow each other in
their proper order.
Statistics prove that women's teeth
decay at an earlier age than mems,
from which, says the Jersey City Jour
nal, it can be seen at once which sex
opens its mouth most
IL never argy agin a success.
When see a rattlesnaik's head stick
ing out of a hole, bear off to the left
and say to miself that hole belongs to
that snail. Josh Billings.
"A New Hampshire doctors s remedy
for sea-sickness is "always breathe
with the motion of the ship" The
Boston Herald wonders what fellow is
going to do during storm.
-"Can there be happiness where
there is no love?' solemnly queries an
author in q book on marriage. Not
much love, perhaps, but if the girl is
awfully rich there can be lots OF fun.
An exchange says: There is no
royal road to matrimony." Correct;
both King and pauper have to walk
| right up to the Captains Office and in
terview the old man.-Wdtertoo o.
server.
One Sir Bartle Frere says that the
Zulu war is waged in the interest of
Christianity. 1t was thought the true
| inwardness of so much killing would
come out in the course of time.-NetO
Orleans Rcayuns.
"A lady passes on horseback-A
Frenchman exclaims: "What q mag
nificent angelr' An Englishman cries
out: my h'eys, what q superb 'orser'
An American CALCULATES: "That's a
peeler of q saddle"
The world, said Sir Cornwall Lew
is, would be an enjoyable place, if it
were not for its amusements. The man
who goes on q crowded steamboat ex-
cursion and is caught in an all-day rain
realizes the truth of this.-Free Press.
| There are several builds of small
boats which right themselves after be-
ing swamped, but the people who were
in them are always just too late to be
righted with the boat That's some
thing you can't patent--Free Press.
People who are fond of punching
holes in United States coin are perhaps
not aware of the fact that such amuse-
| ment is against the law of the land.
| The penalty for SO doing is two years
Imprisonment and 81, 900 fine for every
offense.-ELchdn0e.
Adversely has its uses. The man
who is never sick, never knows how
good it is to have q troop of friends
rush in, sit down beside his aching
head, and tell him in the most solemn
manner that the doctor has lost at least
three patients out of five the whole sea-
son through.-Free Press.
Richard Grant White says the ex-
preston " He is going for to go" is in
correct. Richard is too particular. We
suppose he would also object 10 the re-
mark, You git right up and git right
out and git" And yet the fellow to
whom it was addressed would under
stand it as quickly as if you were to
sling two pages of grammar at him.
NorristotCn Herald.
| -"Whati You are aware this poor
fellow had just lost his wife, and in
stead of sending him the smallest word
of coincidence, you dun him for the 200
francs that he owes your Hem!
know there are griefs which no words
can console, and l thought l was doing
him q service in giving another course
to his sad thoughtsr'-Frsnch Paper.
Did you ever observe that when q
clergyman receives q call from q con.
gregation which can afford to pay him
81 900 year more than he is getting,
he at once feels that it is =" q call from
the Lord" but If the salary attached to
it be about $500 less than he is getting
the Lord keeps discreetly silent.-San
Francisco Wasp.
"A Chicago Paper says that Michi
gan railroad man has lately built carr
for q prairie road with an arrangement
for disconnecting the gearing and run
ming by wind when it is favorable
After trial of several weeks the carr
have been pronounced perfectly salts
factory. In an ordinary breeze they car
run fifteen miles an hour under sail.
The Horace Greeley estate has haG
another windfall. A lot of wild lanC
in West Virginia bought by Mr.. Greeley
for.$10, 900 is now worth SAC, 900, tha
sum in cash having been offered for i
and declined. The estate and the un
expected repayment of the loan to Cor
nelius Vanderbilt, Jr., will provide
comfortably for Mr.. Greeley's children
The house in which Freeman sac
rificed his daughter at Pocasset was re
Gently visited by q wagon load of per
sons from Sunday school picnic. Th'
contents had been left as they wer,
found Immediately after the tragedy
even to the blood stains; but these visit
ors, gaining admission by breaking
door, disturbed every thing, and carrie,
away many articles for relics.
"A Georgia Judge has decided tha
q woman is not an old maid until sh,
: has reached the age of thirty.five. Thi
decision being without recourse, tn
unmarried ladies of Georgia have on
and all decided that the line shall b
. drawn anterior to five and thirty. Thu
far will they 60, but no farther.-Bos
. ton Transcript.
i AtHamburg, in Germany, the long
. est day has seventeen hours and tn
shortest seven. At Stockholm the long
est has eighteen and half hours an,
the shortest five and half. At st. Pc
{ tersburg the longest has nineteen an,
;, the shortest five hours. At Finland tn
i. longest has twenty-one and a hal
hours. At Wondorbus, in Norway, tn
| dav Lasts from the 2l at of Nav To fh