davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12
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OLD SHALEMIAH.


Poor old church. Thou hast fallen from
thy high estate. Thou hast been l.Et desc
late, ana the hymns o' praise which Went
NJ, from thee are hushcl. The feet which
We're wont 10 tread thy aisle, now turn an
other way, and cr;. thy walls crimb, into
dust. and tiny place becomes vacant forever.
| must paya passing tribute 10 thee. humble
though il h.
1t is with sorrow think of thee, SIlorn ot
all thy honOr> and left to decay. /! is with
joy that | remember that il was within thy
walls that my infant it'.t were first Taught
to walk in the straight and narrow way.
That i'll and around the" are clustered many
vivid rrrolI"cti"ns of that brightest ans
best Of hay liti.--llly childhood and youth.
There, one sabbath morning. the good
man put his hand upon our heads and rev
erently sai.l: Suffer little children To come
unto III" and forbid them not" There the
good old minister preached a sermon, th"
text of which has gone with me through
life: My Father. Thou art the guide of my
youth. | ain .iasi that can connect those
happy times with thy presence ani feel.
when memory recalls them. that / am once
again within thy sacred walls. Time, the
renOrSel"SS destroyer. has robbed thee OF
thy usefulness. But while memory lasts
shall often revisit thee and i'll my thoughts
held sweet communion with the past. Those
peaceful Sah'ath mornings. when we all
mel together, and LISTENED 10 the word of
God. How tranquil Our minds rs vet I'M
touched by the worlds strife and wcarinp,,>
Sons. 81! the friends We met there have laiI
aside thrlr cares and are resting for aye
Others have gon- our int" lie Wnrid 10 win
for themselves Il place therein, and = few
remain. But oh, how changed. in Il few
short wears.
Old church, thou hast fulfilled thy mis-
sion. Our furef:lt hers reared thee: they
worSlipcd within thee, and they now SUM
Der around thee, with many others. Tho.
grown weary even h"iure the ju,trns:r was
half over, laid them down To rest: all ulI-
mindful of the changes that time is making
arnund them.
Hail0W"l spot Shal,nuial. graveyard -
The many green mounds alone would serve
to Keep alive our remembrance Of thee old
church. Away back along thc dim outline
OF years, see an infant form lowered into
thy mold, my brother, my h"5H brother still,
i'll heaven. And other infant forms are
there, whom | shall know. when comctll
the resurrection mornings though | saw
them NOT on earth. | shall know them when
they arisn side l., sid, iio.t the uid Stale
mi;th graveyard. .An,, HOW will lid thee
a last gnod-hyc. can never again enter
thy precincts, hut when time ends for me. |
hope they will lei me resi- in thy green yard
where til" birds in the grove sing so Swc"tlv
and where all is peace and ,luctnrSS.
VI. {. j A.
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12
Death Of 'itiz Of eecil,

William .sDn, Two Of the
oldest citizehts,ased this
life, very rev. reHi,e homes,
the former lst, / the latter
at Farmingre N brothers.
and We're tlesn, between
r.Ervville osin tbc wear
lI'2' rliesl acamp meet
ing held inrhoabo,,t1s1
and for oy W,...a ar.d i,
the good cay ,ltrnt c.s,'n,,i;..
ties a. the anne feehlrr nf
tine Two, ''i''al rs has been
. confined to Le.,e of hi. in
tirmities, diff r,,,, y, M i.st 81.
Joseph gtteerii, nersl :, aud
on tlliu efn4 hixpectaiion
slascll. niprE, IL n,,intlv
bsea.he's Wtpi ioaint,i ioai 1i.m
OF MS pehn eyr re 81 years
Of age. Has,;lives. they
died i'll the ia,
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12
-, less th

No less til
moved from 's ~
December al''"' 'h'
will be trieG'' ana
term of tbc G tAtri!
which begins sho'h'y,
Two of theta
delpllia, Wili'iir'liia-
Company for hroad
i, nlaimed fe'iii'Sr
riase beionge 4 car
collided with eiFllich
near the jail Ssing
suited in the sih re-
of the carriaaa Jury
is claimed bs nage
the mill, naalNrr Of
Elk, for obstre little
Another calnnill.
VIM. Armstrall rs.
firm of Arnsrf the
for damages b,oSit,
household gOtf the
Magiii. lWnn.
The only OF
of the childrle suit
Grict., by thph Z.
Farr, againstln II.
damages to -B for
suit grows O, This
of DIR. Grice, wing
night last + dark
wilnr.-rs at til the
bridge oyel u. The
at the time Of aired
crossing had ,rary
foot passengerse of
was /; ont Of rltege
nuisance" " llend a
Messrs, Ale,
BILE, W. j. Jasta-
Biddle and II. T.
bors of the Flken-
and Deputy Clrif
witnesses, i'll CO Of
ttesi; ras"s. VIII of
county eouu.. mt .
5B Large lot I
very low. at Mig
s~B Buy yoai
) LIILESBEHG'S \ /
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12

IS Three applications Cured me ofSe-
we're Rheumatic pain, and | cheerfullY re-
commend Kclicr>s Roman Li4.i.nent. Cor
nelit;s Nuuntn. kte"teRGnt .HefFDpH'tfnH
Pltre HuShi"gton. ID. Z.
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12
Orphans Court.

The Orphans Court for this county was IN
session un Tuesday and Wednesday last
Hon. James Mccaulcy, Chief Judge and
Hon. Jane, VI. Evans and Hon. James \.
Lewis, Associated Judges, were present.
Sundry clamis against deceased perscnS
We're examined and passed
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12
a correspailiphia Led
ger, ws,tia&wDelaware.

n correspeliliphia Led
ger, Ns,tiaSwDelaware,
says INC 'Nhe sest crops
oi e''n n' 'srsttaring.
Tle trees -. ,.o,o,,
growing dis W ba,ithr
buds: and Il ar 'i.nt "'au,,
later than la, a,rnn,t VII, ouI,'
considered i,t;fo' ""H
ems the chaph,.s -, -
freezing we;t !, 'au,i ',.;,,,:,, W
the neat tW n,,.,, "i'.' mn
coming into ,b,s'.'' , t''
cut down, f;,; ,'II''
El.,": Enre and ~ ,bet etsdtge crop
are being ,n.,I,nelh.
points in the "'>'''''
There has, :.
trees, snd t. ave sail.is ol
much nee.e ha,re.olotr ,9
which the NV ''i,o ! III
plowed thort ts ,o,, 1%inS IN
.,,.l -oytf yell ul-
ec,.'o en = !, .,,r arde rare:l
III ~. - : =. ,n,.a acee favor
",;n ,'I';n,nan1s NJ. Z b7, the
n,' S. NV % c;pads: in
" 100 H", "ss 40 the
ments reachnae slip
IA full markessi re Wa was
1874, 1855. aa%s?3, in
gathered, ameSbp was
= in,lications j., The
, will I've equ,a',"Ts l.''
. loads; in 1877, " car
!, th- crop beii1 ",iy ~H'
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12
Fine Furniture.

=. Marshbank u Son displayed, last
k. the finest suit of solid walnut
nber furniture ever shown in this
1. It was what is known as the
style, with bold moultinss.
projectors. polished French burhl
rs, and E"2ry Yrnamcntation. 1t
id please any lady, ana 10 doubt de
NJ its fair possessor i'll Eilton. The
inof any one going to the city to buy
hture is apparent when you learn the
., of furniture at Marshbank' s.
:, ( of it, an elegant suit of chamber
=; fure. three pieces. of solid walnut.
llEh vanerr panels. for Sbi .Wp,
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12
Vl'e }ltople:; 4 ol'''''''
A TEMPERANCE FIELD.

We are in receipt Of a private letter from
4 gentleman recently removed from Dcll-
ware into this county, in which he says
:" Ii there is amy battle To he fought in he
interest of temperance in this county want
TO take Il hand in il.
You are just in time" brother, and if you
hunted the country over. You could no; lind
a more promising field Of earnest !ah"r-En.
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12

80 Seventy-ive bushels more of tho {
Maine Rose Potatoes, bought right OFF bout
dircct-not bought ont of wagon and sold
for Maine stock-at NoRIH ST. MARKET,
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12

Reuben HaineS. administrator of Rebecca
Milburn: James II. Ray, executor of James
Donncll: Lorenzo Biddle, administrator of
Ann I;iddlr. Franklin T.. on,ith admins
TRAITOR of John smith: Ezra \. Phillips,
guardian to Ida l.. and Annie l.. Thompson.
INVENTORIES, LISTS or SALES AND DEBTS.
Inventory of the goods and chattels Of
John Peach; inventory and appraiScm"nt OF
the real estate Of .Iohii 'Gacli list oi debts
due the estate of John Peach: list of sales
of the personal estate Of Mary a. Davis;
list nf debts due the estate of Joseph Pyle.
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12

COUNTS PASSED

Final account OF James Turner, executor
ofThnmaS J. Fisher, and distribution struck
On the same. thi.l a..c,nf!f of Agnes I,
Enm"ns, guardian to W. r. EmmonH;
second account of Jesse ID. Pcnnock, guar
dian tn Mary A. and Bessie NJ. pennork;
fourth account of Edwin IL. Reynolds,
executor of Ecilhcn Reynolds: final account
of Thomas G. Crouch, administrator of
Genrge W. Wallace. and dividend struck OH
same; final account of Rachel Merritt guar
dian to Annie +. Merritt; Final account ni
Rcberca }. Thompson and Martin l.. Thoml-
son, administrators of Anthony &. Thomp-
son, ana distribution struck on same: first
account of Stephen j. Pyle and Harrie r.
Pyle, administrators of Joseph Pyle, and
distribution struck on samol fourth account
of Thomas Nandyk", guardian toGeorge VI.
Watts
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12
ACCOUNTS PASSED.

Justice of thu Eeace-B +. Terry, First
district, 81. 81; G. II. Nanzant, First district,
S2215; G. f. ChriSttcld, Second district
So -; s. B. Foard, Third district, SlO6:
George Il. Howard, Third district, S3l60
James Spence, Third district, 81: |. y. Ben
ialDin Fifth district. Sl1.j5: Joseph Brnia-
min, Fifth district, $3.50; +, j. Precise,
sixth district, S141O; David Archibald
Seventh district, Sl1.70; James Cummings,
Eighth district, $3.50. ConstableS-.John
Richards, FIRST district S9.65: James H.
Benson, First district, $500 y. a. Col
mary, Second district, S535; George Il.
t,aI,,oi,t., Second district S2222.S5; :. B.
Grant, Third district, 81. 2a. ;. B Foald
Third district, Sill: |. =. Deford, Firth dis
trict. 81. 90; John &. Hindnan, Sixth dis
trict' S1i.50: John r. Rutter, Seventh dis
trict. SIO.75: James Davis, Eighth district
SIG. .95. observation-disclosures Wilson, 1876
S3oI 80: 1877, S29S.90: Amos Wilson, in
solyencies ON dogs for 1876, Sl19; 1877, SlS6.-
20 G.. W. CruikShank, printing, SSi5SS
ii. r II. Tuft, medical attendance ut jail,
s2i. Dr. :. f, Wills, medical attendance,
$3.50: Perry Litzenburg, Coroner, SIG II.
Alex. McNright, Supervisor Third district.
sis IO John Partridge, coal and cement,
ale 80, W Reese Mahan, Register Voter,
Fourth district. 2il; .j"Serh G"libart, Reg
ister Voters sixth district. sf3f3 II. ii
Duyckiuck, Register Voters Ninth district,
s65. II 4 Foster, coffins, S65; G. p Sanders,
cottins $50; ThoS $. Reed, digging grave.
20. .Jnhn n. Hessey, Supervisor First dis
.r;ct SO. Clinton Mccullough, states At
,iint, s461. 80; Hiram Mccullough, coun
al Ies. $685.; Alexander & Bro. hard
ware s,oi.5ss;; II. b. hirt, rsuasel fees,
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12
FOR SALE.

A FRESH COW, with Il Calf hy her
~ sia" Apply t.
Mar ...-@w CASPER W. MORRIS.
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12
County Commissioners.

The Board OF County Commissioners was
in session on Tuesday and Wednesday
last, Il full Board-McSSrS. Crawford, Cam
cron and CrotherS-prcSrnt. The session
was busy one, the examining of accounts
to the next levy occupying the
greater portion of the time. The following
kuSirpsS ,ynS S1rfpl.
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12
r,rrs AND FISHERME En- :.

The Fnrs' prospects are rather en-
conraginas Spring. The wheat looks
We'll: the ih buds are yet uninlured.-
The tisherAh prospect is not so encour-
aging, so are eng ,ged at it the fish are
Set scarce prices low.
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12

Mr, Jaismith, the "bliging salesman
IN Mr.. tons store has engaged in the
mercantiisincsS, in partnership with MI:
Lofland is deserving of success, for he
Is y NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. gentleman:
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12

Rs.CEcI F. WEAVER is the Agrat Of The Wing
.foi the District Of toi"moia ana bdH'mo's' """
Jrbom contracts ROtc Gt made.
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12
ECIkT0N ITEuS.
DEATHS,


Therehrcn number OF deaths among
the colopeoplc since our last writing.
Two med one woman We're called to an
eternal d without an hours sickness;
Tie othtllueSs were comparatively brief.
Some ot,n left families of helpless little
ones. ST., Is bpt step between mc an
death" ling almost daily verified.
= RELIGIOUS.
For weeks Il revival meeting has
been grrss in Galena, Kent county,
condush Rev. Mr.. Rryan. 1t has been
lnust SF,,l for good Among many
other .habic conversions Was .hai ri
the preEr of the only drinking house or
tavcrn1F place. He at once closed his
bar.
Mr.. &, the beloved pastor, who has
perfor &;s duty here So faithfully for two
Years IL II returned for an other year to
he greg of his hearers.
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12

i'll this community have been seeding their
oats tli, week; Some day last week hu
ground Was So frozen that they Wcrr coi.r-
n..llnl 10 suSncnu nllnrallOns.
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12

On "Wednesday last, we understand, the
Iron Company succeeded i'll laying the rails
on their new trestc worl. sufficiently, fan
to obViaIc II,e use OF teams i'll unloading
ears. ISNoMISATt ".
The Cecil Whig., 1879-04-12
LOCAL BRIEFS.

Lent is on its last legs.
Yesterday was Good Friday.
Tomorrow, Easter Sunday.
Spring has somehow got capsiZcd
Prank Green has few of those Early
l6aSe seed potatoes ssaif@1eff.
LIsa~nberg wants good mil'iner.
her store in Elkton.
Moore has sold his farm, near
nye, TO Enoch Mccullough, OF
nach Iron Company, for $4,000.
-tery is going out of fashion almost
-i,idly as it came in. Ladies Win
- re stock on hand are just trit1e dis
e;ted.
-Rcv. Vaughn Smith will preach at
rouch's Chapel tomorrow (Sabbath) after
,oon at ii, O'Clock The public are cor
~ daily invited.
There will he an all day meeting at
Griffith Chapel, Cedar Hill, Tomorrow (Sah-
bath) Preaching at II \. NJ, and AZ 3 and
1oclock p. NJ.
Come now, Spring don't leave the track
Keep it up, old girl. You'll come in first
yet--if Summer doesn't overtake you before
YOU make any headway.
We have been informed that Mr.. Geo.
NJ Barnes, the proprietor of Carpenter :
Point fishery, caught sixty barrels of perch
at one haul, on last Monday
The steam scow Uncle San, Of Phia
dephia, that was blown ashore on Locust
Point, last Thursday, during the gale, got
off again on Wednesday last.
We call attention to the advertisement
Of the Elkton Library. The fourth yea
commences on April 18th. Tickets may b'
purchased at Mitchell's drug store.
.-Sealskin sacques begin to look unseason
able. II is with profound regret that tn
owner of :. sealskin sacque finally lays
away in pickle for another season.
Spring Spring, ethereal SPRING
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1879-04-30
Pay as You Go.

The best Of all rules for successful
housekeeping aud making both ends
meet is "to pay as you CO." Beyond
all countries in the world, ours is
the one in which credit is the most
used and abused, Passbooks are the
bane and pest of domestic economy,
a perpetual plague, vexation and
swindle. Abused by servants at the
store and the house, disputed con
stantly by housekeepers and dealers,
they are temptations to both parties
to do wrong,
~ never hud that"
ave neglected to enter this"
81 forgot to bring the book"
"Never mind, we'll make a note Of
it'-and so it goes.
But the worst Of it is that house.
keepers are tempted to order what
they have not the means to pay for,
and when the month or quarter
comes for settlement they are strait.
ened.
A family can live respectfully on a
very moderate irtcone if they always
take the cash in hand, and buy
where they can buy to the best adj.
vantge. Then they will be careful
first to get what is necessary. Extra
comfort will be had as they can af-
ford them. But it is bud policy to
buy on credit. No wise dealer sells
as cheaply on credit as for cash.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1879-04-30
Nose Bleeding.

1t is worth while to know how to
stop bleeding from the nose when
it becomes excessive. If the finger
is pressed firmly upon the little ar
terry that supplies the blood to the
side of the face affected, the result is
accomplished. The two small arte.
ries branching up from the main ar
teries on each side Of the neck, and
passing over the outside of the jaw
bone, supply the f,sce with blood. II
the nose bleeds from the right nos.
tril, for example, pass the finger
along the edge Of the right Jaw till
the beating of the artery is felt
Press hard upon it and the bleeding
will cease. Continue the pressure
for Eve minutes, until the ruptured
vessels in the nose have time to con
tract
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1879-04-30
Shooting with lie Long-Bow.

1t was on long East India voyage
in French ship that in a pleasant
evening some sailors were spinning
yarns as a pastime. One Of them
had been wrecked. The ship went
down under the crew, and sent them
suddenly aiioat. He said:
"After sw INNING ten hours, ] felt
myself about gong down, when !
saw a cask rolling about. in the heavy
sea. 4 mounted itastride, and wait
Tsdste see. what saol.ld turn up. At
the end Of three days | saw u sail; it
was n French ship. ! sang out
'Ahoyl ship ahoyp
who are your" the helnsman
sangou
"Where are you bound21 j cried.
ITO Calcutta"
"That's pity. l am bound to
Batavia, and | uill wait."
Another sailor prit Ia parole and
said:
q have cousin who is a partner
in great commercial house in the
north of France. He met at tav-
ern one day merchant from Prov
ence, who asked him, care you do.
ing much business?n
"An enormous business" he re!
piled.
"But what do you call enormous?"
"Well, TO give you an idea of it,
| will tell you that in our CORE
spondence our houses uses two thous-
and francs worth of ink in a year"
+ "Tal what's that?" said the other.
"our house at Marseilles saves every
year four thousand francs in ink
just emitting the dots to the i's!'-
Harper's Magazine for May.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1879-04-30
A Boys PUchet and A Girls
Pocket.

IIa Z p w. q i ~ 4 y =
Tommy Is twelve Years old. His
sister Mary is Sweet sixteen and d.
half The other inofiing Aary ac,.
-costed her mother with, Ma, see
what d lot.of stuff foundsin Tom
lsis ppckelk And she depositedon.
the liable tEe following ARTICLES ,to.
wit: Eight marbles, hn6stop,s d bro
kniie, d leathers strap, a,
buckle, bunch Of keysf a fishing
lines a piece:pf leadsa smooth stope,
four pieces Of slate pencil; q warn.
out pocket-boek, an oyster. Shell. d
wopuded jewsharp, q piece of blue.
glass, d rubberball d lump q, chlllk !,
Saioslsisd hing sttt,fi
piece Of India rabber, two corks, d
fractured comb, piece of licorice root,
a song book, two medals and d jnven-
lie land tortoise. Tommy looked
thoughtful as the contents Of his
pockets were deposited before the
eyes Of his mother, and sullcnly re-.
marked that it vas none of Sis
Business and he just wanted her TO
let his trousers alone
Next day Tommy captured the out
side pocket Of his sisters dress, and,
carrying the contents to his mother,
sarcastically observed in the pres.
ence Of Mary: Ma, just see what a
lot Of trash I lotnd in sis's pocketsl
and he produced from his hat the fol-
lowing gknfck-knacks, viz Three hair
pins, a soiled glove, piece Of chewing
gum, three cards, two slate pencils
another piece of chewing gum, pho
tograph, piece of orange skin, a love
letter, broken tooth brush, more.
chewing gum, spool Of silk, a thin.
BILE, piece Of cotton saturated with
white powder, one nickle, two sour
balls, gaiterheel, ivory ornament be-
longing to parasol handles hat.dker
chief perfnmed with jockey club,
gaiter buttoner with geranidm
leaves, ivory handle penknife with
broken blade, a fan, FIVE visiting
cards, belt buckle, box Of rouge, an.
Eother piece of chewing gum, frag.
ments of looking-glass, a peach
stone, cigar holder stolen from
Charley piece of damasse silk Of
the pattern Of her friend Lucy'snew
dress, an artificial flower, horsehair
ring, a long brown hair entangIcdiin
a hunk Of taffy, and u slip OF paper
containing directions for handker-
chief firtations.
Tommy placed the last article on
the table and slid from the room with
a grin of triumph on his roguish
face. His sister made an Intellectual
grab for him, and as he passed into
the street he heard her voice calling,
You nasty little brat if you get at
my pocket again Ill slap your face.
Tommy thinks honors are easy.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1879-04-30
Weekly Register
fqsllshsd y Ersr,. wednesday. Morning, by \.
GEORGE w. TIPPETT,
EDrl6R AYD PRoPrIrroh.

[ EDr1oR AsD PRofnIEToh.
ofdes upstairs, stcfizs Block Eu,sance on Main St,
Terms Of Subscription. q
giis copy one year, in.advsnce 3. ...s1 80
One copy five Years. in advance. !. 800
n5Ah papers dise sn1ied IS soon as Tine paid for
eSplEss and no Subscriptions HEen nnless pad fpt m
Advertising Rites. Z.
One square zone incb) oiie week; - 81 90
Each additional insertiiSp, ,a..: ,..,,.4s 5. 80
Fourth of d ( 1lpinn Il use months, % 90
Half Column ige months, ). .Y.is.. 30 90
One Column twely months, ~. ....... 90 90
Cards otcxceeding zines, ". ..s... 4. 90
pSLegai iadyeftissnen,s al he fates hxed lsysta%s
Local notices IS eeilis per line, first insertion.
All sdyersefpspft f4g asfhcfter tine ,han t1ircr.
lrhentbs Sensidered trarsient. ~ <, ~ - = Z
Tsaasient adyertiseRents mus, be paid Tor IN sd.
vance, 10 insure Insertion
yadyetlsementsp payable half yearly in advance
Legal pubietfors must be paid for, in all cases. be-
fore the delivery fthe certificate Of publication.
Personal publications. and those. Recommending can
didates for Office charged regular advertising rates
Marriage and Death notices, published free; but Oh
ituare' and tributes Of respect charged at half the
usual advertising rates,
Announcements for office, for county Sc 90: State
and District, $40 oo on regular ticket, Sio 90
H . .
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1879-04-30
Old Maids and Old Bachelors:

{ Old maids are useful. They can.
cook, sew and take care of children,
nurse sick people, and generally play
the piano. Old bachelors are useless.
They do not even know how to drive
nails or split wood.
Old maids are amiable. If one
wants anything done that requires
patience and kindness of heart, a
single lady is sure to he the one to
.lt.,.lt....t..Ss ..4!.---.s .-e..s.e ... 4
Old bachelors are, ill-natured.--
They snub children, despise babies,
and hate yonng mothers, and are al
ways SO busily employed in seeing
that other people take good care Of
them that they have not a moment
to give to anyone else.
Old maids are nice looking and
young for their years" Old bache-
lors generally have red noses, rheu-
ma,ism in their knees, bald heads,
and mouths that turn down at the
corners.
Old maids can make home Of one
little room, and cook Il delicious meal
for one over the gas jet in cunning
little tin-kettles, besides making all
their own wardrobes. Old bachelors
need an army Of tailors, walters,
cooks, distant relatives and hotel
landlords to keep them comfortable.
When old maids life i'll they tie up
their heads in pocket handkerchiefS,
take homeopathic pellets out Of two
bottles, alternately, and get we'll
again. When old bachelors are i'll
tLey go to bed and send for four doc
tors; have u consultation; a mantle.
piece full Of black bottles; all the
amiable married men who belong to
the club to sit up with them at might,
besides a hired nurse; they telegraph
to their relations; and do their best
to impress the world with the idea
that they are dying.
When an old maid travels she
takes sandwiches, piece of pound
cake, bottle Of lemonade in hand.
basket, and lunches comfortable in
the carriage. When an old bachelor
travels he orders n dinner in courses
at the station, and raves because he
has not time TO eat it before The eff
teen minutes for refreshments" are
over.
Old maids drink weak tea and it
cures their headaches.
Old bachelors drink strong liquors
which gives them headaches.
Old maids are modest; they think
their youth is over and their beauty
gone. If, after while, some autumn
nal love is given them, they take it
as sort of miracle, and hope people
will not laugh at them for marrying
50 late in life"
Old bachelors believe that all wo.
men are IN love with them, and that
they must carefully guard themselves
from traps laid to inveigle them
into matrimony. They also fondly
cherish the belief that should they
eventually become married men, the
world expects them to exhibit great
taste in women by their choice, and
that the "other fellows will laugh if
their portion be not tender youth
and beauty;also that when they mar
ry, many women will expire Of jeal-
ousv 49, R,poI Naiy Yorksr