The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-11-27
VARIETIES.

VARIETIES.
The home stretch is best taken in
the evening on the sofa.
old bachelors who think there isn't
any fun in counting had better get q
little gal-an-try. - I'm -.
One of the uses of adversity-Helps
to fill up the dictionary.-AeSile,s
(Conn.J Recorder. .
The ayes of q majority always put
the noes of the minority out of joint
Hackensack Republican.
An Iowa farmer fired at q quail and
shot tramp. What Iowa wants is
more quail-Bosto,s Post. -.
The older the tree, the more rings
1t has. 1t Is very much the same with
q city.-Boston Traveller.
Gail Hamilton thinks the only
housework some girls do is when they
begin to dust around after beau.
There be men who would willingly
search the Scriptures If they thought
they could find anything to steal in
them.
Put yourself in his place when you
go to rout boy out of bed at six
o'clock on q frosty morning. Free
Press.
Nothing so quickly dries a wom-
ans tears as q kiss.-Progress. Do
you want to set all the girls to cryingP
Boston Post.
"A Zulu girl isn't allowed to marry
q man who doesn't own q COW. We
suppose this is to indicate that she is
his sbos.-Hdsck- Eve.
"A thorough man of the world is one
who can shake hands cordially with a
friend whom he has Just black-balled at
q club.-NesO Orleans RcayMne.
The New York Mdil thinks that If
those who over-eat, and those who half
starve, were to strike q balance, the
world would. be pretty well fed.
"A Boston woman cut her dress
from pattern in q magazine dated
1873 before she discovered that it wasn't
1879, and it took three doctors to tide
her over that long, lonely night.-Fsee
Press.
Little Withstand were all the
little birds drowned, mammal" Mann
ma (who had been telling the story of
the Deluge)-" Yes, all but those who
were in the Ark" Willie" Then 1
think they were stupid; why didn't they
get in a row on top of the Ark?''
There would be fewer accidents in
this world if men would take their
wives advice, for we never yet heard of
a mans head being blown off with a
shotgun or his being run over by the
cars, but when his wife said she had
often told him to keep away from the
railroad track or never touch q gun.
in one of Chicago's suburbs, at q
recent Sunday School meeting, long
winded clergyman consumed too much
of the time with wordy address.
When he sat down, the leader of the
meeting announced 3 hymn-one by
Bliss-beginning Halleluja! tits
doner' BE didn't mean it, but it was
apropos.
"A Spanish proverb says: "The
road of fBy-and-By leads to the Town Of
Never.-Boltinsore Nescs. That's moth
ing. If the proverb had said; "The
song of the Sweet-By-and-By leads to
the Town of Hardly Ever" we'd have
hoisted the yellow fever flag.-M r
cypress.
Ole Bull plays upon a violin SIG
years old. II you should hear the young
man who lives next door to you get
hold of it, you would think it was 800
years old, and had lost its voice in q
series of complicated troubles when it
was only seven years of young.-Ha,Ok-
Eye.
A scientific journal states that
"gold is unaffected by atmospheric &C
ton or influences" We are glad to
learn that there is something that
doesn't touch it or grab at it. There
are enough other things that do affect
it, without having the atmosphere get
at it--Ha,Ok-Eye.
When a boy on his way to the Sum-
day School loses the nickle he has been
carrying for the missionary box, he is
torn with agonizing remorse because
he didn't spend it for peanuts before it
was wasted. If sorrow for the de-
frauded heather factors in his agony
he isn't aware of fit.-HaUk-Eye.
The Norristown Herald wisely
says: Miss Miller, of Ferris, Texas,
chioroformed her fathers dogs and
eloped with . young man whom her
father had forbidden the premises.
The probabilities are that about q year
hence she will conclude that her life
would have been less miserable If she
had chloroformed the young man and
eloped with her fathers dogs"
The editor of the Fort Plain Reois.
ter has his Office and residence con-
nected by telephone. Yesterday Mr..
Skidd. of Little Falls, an old friend,
called on the editor and expected to re-
main for dinner. The editor hurried to
the telephone and shouted to his wife:
Z" Mr.. Skidd will be up with me to din
ner, lay an extra plate" "Now," said
the editor, Mr.. Skidd, you may con-
verse with her." As the gentleman
was about to approach the instrument
these words were plainly heard: "You
tell Mr.. Skidd we don't keep q hotel on
wash day" Mr.. Skidd excused him
self for few moments, and was mex,
seen eating fried CLAIMS in the Rainbow
saloon On the corner.-Amsterdan Re.
corder.
AerOnautic Adventures.
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