The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1879-07-16
The Horrors of Perihelia.

His name is not Grim, as it might be, but
Grimmer, which is properer; and he lives in
San jose, Cal. He has published "a pamph-
let called 1.-The Voice of the Stars and
most melancholy voice it is 1t sets forth
the intolerable things which are to happen
in consequence of 1.-The perihelia of the four
great planets, Jupiter Uranus, Neptune and
Saturn, in 1880, as between 1880 and 1887"
The effect of the approach to the sun stimuli
taneously of SO many great bodies Grimmer
says, will be unspeakably disastrous to our
own. According to this San Jose astrologer,
among other pleasant results ,''every drop of
water in the earth, and above the earth,
and on the earth, will be more or less
poisonous" Then will come seven SORROW
full years. Ancient races will be blotted
from the face of the earth. Fifteen millions
of the inhabitants of America will die, I'M
less stringent sanitary measures are adopted,
as they will not be, for everybody knows
that they never are Then will come storms
and tidal waves and tornadoes, with volca-
mic actions of the worst sort; mountains and
valleys will change places, and ..navigators
grow pale with alarm at the capricious de-
iexure of the needle
The particularly energetic way in which
volcanoes will 'belch forth their lava" the
suffocating fumes of sulphur which viii
escape from the earth, the sudden disappear
ance of islands, including, perhaps, the
island of Manhattan, with an unprecedented
number of shipwrecks, will be followed by
fanaticism, bloodshed, murder and robbery;
while (remarks Grimmer) every one will be
absorbed in the trying task of keeping
alive" The poor will die by tens of thou
sands The doctors will raise their prices;
but Mr.. Grimmer advises everybody, when
these dying times arrive, to put no faith in
physicians, but to take copious draughts of
warm water, abstain from animal food, and
wear cotton dipped in camphor in the nos
trils. The pestilence will ravage until 1885,
and then will come fires which will rage
with fury until 1887. The sun will discharge
oceans of flaming hydrogen gases. There
will be tremendous showers of meteors.
Dense black clouds will veil the sun for
days. Binding flashes of lightning will
illumine the sombre sky The flesh-eater
and alcoholic imbiber will go hand-in-hand
to the grave Strife, discord, war, floods,
inundations-but enough No longer let
us dwell upon the coming catastrophel 1t
should be mentioned, however, that accord
ing to Grimmer General Grant will be
elected president in 1880, and reelected in
1884. In 1887 he will be in special danger
from railway collisions, after which he will
have a series of years of peace and happi-
HESS, anu ute luoilZeu pN liis country. ana
respected and honored by the world
The great Grimmer, as citizen of Cali
fornia, is naturally disposed to let off that
State easily. 1t will be the last and least
sufferer from 1.-The most malignant plague
era the world has ever known" 1.-THE Pa
cifc StatesI we are told, "will be veritabe
paradise ofpeace compared with the hellish
strife that will be waging throughout the
world"
We see how it was. Grimmer evidently
was afraid of the vigilance committee
should he venture to include San Jose in the
general ruin. He would have been waited
| upon by deputation of the most energetic
citizens, and compelled to revise his calcula-
tions. With one end of rope about his
neck and the other tied to some convenient
branch, Grimmer would have been made to
! figure out nothing but good luck and plenty
of whisky to San Jose from 1880 to 1888
He sagaciously escapes his fate He kills of
the rest of us, but he spares the Californians
What is there for us to do but to appoint
an opposition Grimmer of our own, who will
deduce for our comfort from ethe perihelia
of the four great planets" nothing but
health, prosperity, and a good time gen
erally2