The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-12-19
WIT AND HUMOR.


The peel of the first belle was fig
| leaf
RUMoR beats electricity 40 per cent.
PRESENTS of mind-Bits of advice.
A GAME law-Follow suit.
SPIRIT of the press-Cider.
PENsToCK-Hogs.
THOSE who put their money into tele-
phone stock made sound investment.
The writer whose pen is his shears
the pride of the compositor's heart.
A MICHIGAN chiropodist offers tc
chirop with any man for 5000 side.
WHEN a man goes into stock specu-
lation he aims at better life.
To AVOID the first wrong step, let
your first step be right one.
SOME men pay attention who never
pay anything else.
The swell young man wears two
watches when his time is not very
valuable.
WANTED to know-If Havana CT
gar makes man i'll, will two make a
manila?
SOLITAIRE earrings are set so that no
gold is visible, and the diamond appears
as if suspended in air.
TRYING to do business without adver-
Using is like winking at girl in the
dark. You may know what you are
doing. but nobody else does.
BALDHEADED persons are recon-
mended, by one who knows how it is
himself, to have a spider painted on the
top of their heads in fy-time.
1T is happy provision of nature that
people do not know when they lose
their senses, and fools do not miss the
absence of brains.
Al ONCE had dog VINO could always
tell rascals from honest men," B..-"Well
what became of him?" A.--"Had to give
him away; he bit me-
THE two important events in the life
of man are when he examines his upper
lip and sees the hair coming, and when
he examines the top of his head and
sees the hair going.
WHY tell man that he lies like sixty?
Isn't it just as easy to say, Excuse me,
brother, but some of your statements
produce tendency to embompoint on
the part OF truth"
LIKE cures like. The Irish tenantry
complain that England's treatment of
them has been revolving, and now they
have been revolving themselves.
THERE is nothing so charming as the
innocence of children. Mamma"
said 5-year. old, the other day, I
wish you wouldn't leave me to take
care of baby again. He was so bad l
had to eat all the sponge cake and
two jars of raspberry jam to amuse
him."
CHRISTMAS NIGHT.
Sorrow begonei
Life and its ills.
Durs aud their bills,
Bid me to fee.
Come with the dawn.
blue-devil sprite
Leave TO- night,
Round the old tree.
ENGLISH party at card table" Hell
low, We are two to twol" English
party at opposite table" We are
two to two, tool" German spectator,
who "sbeaks English" to compatriot,
who is acquiring the language" Veil
now, you see how dis is. Of you want
to giie expression to yourself in En-
glish, all you hafe to do is to blay NIT
der French horn"
AT shoemakers' ball in Phila-
delpnia reporter says that feet of
every size, from fine taper in white
kid to pudding-shaped pedals in full
skin, welted the wax on the floor in
harmony with the music. They waxed
warm with pegging away until late the
next morning. 1t was a whole soled
affair throughout"
FLORENCE, the actor, tells this story
of the elder Booth He was playing
Hamlet in Virginia one night, and had
no skull. A little darky volunteered to
get one. When Booth was leaving the
theater he felt some one Juggling ut his
coat-tail. He looked around and saw
the little brunette. What will you
have, sonny?' Please, sab, want
daddy's skull, sah.' 'Daddy's skull p
Yes, sab. Dat used to be de old mans
head piece afore de newell kicked him,
an mammy'n lick me ter rags if 1
lose it"