The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1879-07-19
NHIFS: WISE HND Witty.

Hunted iown-the first indications of q
| mouStache.
=" There's Music i'll the heir, " says Jones.
Jones has Il brand new baby at his house
Has any parasraphcr observed that
| Hanlan is the nobest row man of Them all?
Puck says that the difference betw een Il
| silk dress and calico gown is material: bnt
that's all stuff
| There is Il new Spanish singer, and the
Norristown HeIaM thinks that she must I've
a CASTLE Sprano. You ought to be lathered
for that.
"A cartridge is said to have been invented
which floats on the water, tastes good to
ducks, and blows their heads off when they
should cschcw it.
-Kans;s teacher: " Where does all our
grain produce 60 to-" Boy: st goes into
the hopper" Teacher: Hopper" What
hopper? Boy, triumphantly: "Grasshop-
per"
Blind man Ooq.:) "When | ears any
one a-comin' along l Stoops down and pats
tiilc dog, i Ills mate: All, amt got no
dog, bat aS'sS,s That
has EN-
A curatc having been overhaulcd by IL
bishop for attending 4 ball, the former rr-
Piled: "My lord, | Wore Il mask" ooh.
well, returned the bishop that puts II
new face on the affair
a lady said She had just received
letter from her husband FULL of the agony of
love. but no remittance. \ gentleman said
to her: IT should console you, madam, to
see yoar husbands love So unrcmitting."
-'Why is it, my dear sir, said Waf-
tle'S landlaIy to him the other day, that
You newspaper men never get rich:'' II
do not know" was his reply, except it is
that dollars and #c.,%c do not always travel
together
A Western farmer complains that
hook and ladder company has been orgau-
lied i'll his neiLhhurhooi. He states that
the ladder is used after dark in climbing
into his chicken house, after which the
hooking is done
SAYS the Cincinnati G0:cEc: "1he city
Was tFDN'iti hiiil7 ii!C '''iiS-'ii'N'' '''i''
during all the excitement there were but
two cases of pocket picking reported We
had no idea that the pockets of Cincinnati
ans offered SO little encouragement as that.
Mistress to new cook: "Now, Sarah,
rememberif You are strictly honest and eco
nomical in Your marketing, will give you
Il few shillings extra per month New
cook: "Thauk You, ma'am; will think 1t
over, and let You know in the evening"
-"Mr. Tapcnthred isn't in, see, said
IN old shopper to the clerk in attendance.
''No, 'em, he's at home to-day" i sup
pose he's got nothing new::' ''leS, ~, he
has he's got pneumonia "iou don't say
so: what are you ScttiEga yard for noni@
nowo"
Nothing can exceed in intensity the
sickly pallor that o'erSprradS the countc-
nance OF the ynung man when his girl ilitS
from his coat collar a Ion" red hair, Several
shades lighter than her own and transtiNr$
him with Il stony glare that demands in
slant explanation.
A gentleman WAS disturbed from his
rest III the middle of the night by some one
knocking on the street door. "Nho'S
there" he askel. "a friend" was the
answer. "What do you WANT 81 want
to STAY here all night" "Queer taste; stay
there by all meanS,' was the benevolent
reply.
--Sccne-laining village. Free church
minister Cat miners door:) els James at
home, Mrs Brown" Mrs b.. NO, 81:
he's ava tae the toon the day" Minister:
- am sorry for that, because wanted to
tell him that he's been appointed deacon
Mrs. H.. "A deacon, sir I'm rale glad to
hear OF, for To tell We the truth, sir, ony-
thin. is better than II collier mondays
An old pioneer, who was Sonetl ing of
fItalist, lived in Il region infested by In
! dams. He always took his gun with him,
and once, finding that some of his family
had taken it ont, he would not 60 without
it, His friends called him, saying that there
WAS no danger of the Indians, rs he would
not die till his time came anyhow. YES"
said he: "bIt suppose was to meet IN It.
,lirn and his time was come, it wouldn't do
not TO have my gun.
Pulpit themes" What shall preach
about >" said Il minister to the pastor OF u
colorrd flock whom he was 10 address,
"WelI, mos any subject will I've 'ceptahle,
WAS the reply, " only I'd like 10 glib you one
worl oh caution." Ah, what is that -
We'll ef | was you, Id tctch VERY light
on de Ten Commandments" Indeed
Why" "Ol, eos | hab notiSe dat dey
mos always hab a damp'nin' effect ON de
congregation
- y paper has been started, called the
Handkerchief. There is great deal OF
blow about it, and the editor nose 4 thing
Or twol ard is not to be sneezed at,