Connecticut western news., 1879-11-05
WIT ANb WISDOM.
Yale Record.

, Light cares speak; great ones are dumb.
 The lap of luxury-when the cat gets cream.
 The saw-mill runs to the tune of a log-a-rythm.
 -."Never iispair" is the motto for married people.
 Next year will be leap year, but this is walking year.
 -One seldom fails when he knows his own powers.
 Two make a pair, except in scissors' pantaloons and stairs.
 The man who wishes to hlro a haui goes to livery stable.
 Advertising g-Extending your shop front into the newspaper.
 Adam raised Gain and Cain razed Abel.-[ Whitehall Times.
 ., He is called groom because ne teaches her to be bridal-wise. ..
 The circus that gives the most dead head tickets is the gratis show.
 It is hoped the pedestrian match factory has closed for tho season.
 The brightest pictures one sees ln chimney nooksa arc taken from woodcuts:
 Those who work can take care ot themselves. Providence must provide for loafers.
 Kentucky has ghost that whistles. The natural inference is that it is out ot the wilderness.
 You cannot dream yourself into character; you must hammer and forge yourself one. Froude.
 Hum sn life defined by line is as uncomfortable as would be the human figure defined by wire. -,--..--r
 When chiropodist enters bali room should the band play, "See the corn-curing hero comes ?
 It is 0 malicious woman who VIII slyly put long hairs on mans coat lust to make his wife jealous.
 A little boy was asked ii he had a good memory. "No," said he; "out l have BOou lorSoVohoJ'
 There are times when none of us would be found at home to callers were it not for the fear of being found out.
 What is the great difficulty in arctic exploration9 For the explorers to keep themselves warm and their ships ooaleo'
 We cannot we'll afford not to see the geese go over single spring, and so commence our year regularly.-l Thor eau. ,
 The under dog in fight deserves no pity. He will pitch into a smaller dog than himself the moment he gets chance.
 In Candahar when a young wom becomes sweet on young man she sent h1m Q hair.pin meaning, thass the kind of hair-pin I am.
 What constitutes board of eduoa- tion? asks an exchange. The school masters shingle is the most reliable member. Yonkers Gazette.
 -The Buffalo Espress says: If we wanted to frighten somebody to death ve should hire m infant to challenge the man Hanlan to rowing match.
 A matrimonial engagement made at Newport last July is now declared "oif because the fastidious young man asoer- tained that his .fancee had previously been engaged to be married.
 A noble little fellow was asked by his aunty why it was he preferred sleep ing alone. He pondered seriously for minute, and then gravely answered -ll x1A11-I Idan,t- know T cuess it's cheaper" u
 "A Japanese student called on voune lady, and was invited to call oooin soon. He called again in aoout on hour. This was, perhaps, Jap flat terv. if SO. it certainly outdoes Gnro- pean civilization.
 -"sunset Cox tells the story ot a man who, having killed badger, was nummelling the corpse to jelly. Some- bodv asked him why he wasted ms strenpth on a carcass. Said he, ! want to convince it there's punishment after death. "A school boy spelled decimal and pronounced it dismal. "What do you mean by calling that dismalP e4- claimed the teacher. "Cause 1t IS, answered the boy. "Its dismal trac- lions. All fractions are dismal. There isn't n bit of fun in any of 'em."