The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1879-10-29

And wash the supper dishes.
No matter how much a candidate itches
for Office, he never likes to be scratched.
The Norristown Herald believes that cook
ing contests would be OF more benefit to this
country than walking matches.
"Mamma. can't We have anything we
want?' "Yes. my dears; but be careful and
don't want anything you can't have
What is the difference between a farmer
and a bottle of whisky? One husbands the
corn aud the other cOrnS the husband
When a pedestrian hes TO walk up and
down the room all night with q squalling
baby be generally makes more laps than he
does smiles.
You can always tell OF the approach OF
| every one gets into the habit of leaving
doors open.
A man was Boosting that he had an eleva-
tor in his house. so he has," chinned IN
his wife, land he keeps it in the cupboard
in bottle"
A mustard plaster is good thing in its
place. but the best place, as far as our expe-
rience goes, is to have the mustard plaster
on ham sandwich.
A Massachusetts clergyman. preferring to
support General Butler, has been by his
congregation bulldozed into resigning
Where's the military?
The new silk stockings show corduroy
effects Oshkosh Christian Advocate. That
pious editor OF the Advocate knows more
about it than he ought to.
Commercial Advertiser: Let g man over
come anger by love, evil by good, the greedy
by liberslity, the liar by truth, and the book
| agent by a charge of buckshot.
Ioe Haa
near Halifax. 1t is suspected that her hus-
band gave her $40 without asking to get
| new fall bonnet, and she was petrified with
establishment.
A Chicago girl, who claims to have proved
| it by experiment, says that "by putting a
lever in the rays OF blue-glass window he
| can be made to propose at one sitting" "Oh,
you naughty girls"
When the old gentleman comes home and
| finds his daughters have got his slippers and
| the easy chair and the evening paper ready
for him. he realizes that it is the season for q
| fall opening OF his pocketbook.
| Now that women can plead in the United
| States courts and vote on the school COM
| mittee, perhaps they may gradually acquire
| the knowledge that a woman has right
| to but one seat in a railway car.-Boston
| Advertiser.
| A scientific paper has quite an article on
Hereditary Criminals" If there is any
truth in the theory, it seems rather hard
that a man should be hanged for committing
a murder inherited from mis- grandmother
| New York Commercial.
A lady, a regular shopper, who had made
| an unfortunate clerk tumble over all the
stockings in the store, objected that none of
them were long enough. 81 want" she said,
1.-The longest hose that are made" Then,
madam" was the reply, you had better
apply to the next engine house,.
During an election In a certain locality q
| temperance candidate called upon rum
seller, and solicited his vote. 81 would
rather vote for the evil one himself than for
YOU" was the savage response. Yes,
know" said the candidate, but in case
your friend should not be nominated, might
1 then count on your assistance?
A Yankee who had never paid more than
25 cents to see an exhibition went 10 B os-
ton theater the other evening to see the
| Forty Thieves" The ticket seller charged
him so cents. Passing the pasteboard ticke
back, be quietly remarked: Il guess you car
keep it, mister; don't want to see the Other
thirty nine.'' And out he marched.