The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-28
BILL ARP.
He Perspirates too Much-He works
in the Rain-Then Eats Dinner
and Supper at Bedtime.

lated about it, said:
swell, yes: my corn is all mighty
fine, but 1 don't know how I'll get
along without some nubbins to iced
the steers on"
It's raining now every day, but
it came little too late, and we'll all
have plenty of steer food this year.
l reckon we will make some tolera-
ole corn on the bottoms, and the
late corn is coming out smartly. II
misery loves company we can take
comfort like the darkey did that
Mr.. Stephens told about in his
speech, for poor crops are pretty
general thing" in this naborhood.
But maybe it's all right-for we
did make an abundance of wheat,
and it amt too late to make right
smart cotton and git Is cents
pound for it. A man ought to be
reconciled to what he can't help,
that is, unless he owes a little pas
sci of money he can't pay and is
reminded of it once a month on q
postal card. That's bad, amt it?
Or unless he has got a lot of sickly
no account children. | tell Mrs.
Arp we ought to be mighty thank
full, for there's nary one of the ten
that's cross-eyed or knock kneed or
pigeon-toed or box-ankled or sway.
backed or hump-shouldered or lame
or blind or idiotic, and the grand
children are an Improvement upon
the stock, and / don't believe any
of 'em will ever get to the poor
house or carry pistol or go to the
legislature and have some feller Of
fer 'em a hundred dollars for his
vote. A sound, healthy body is a
great blessing, and a fair set off to
most every kind of bad luck that
can happen to man. Mr.. Beecher
was right when he said the first rule
to ensure good health was to select
good, healthy parents to be born
from. My ruminations on this sub
ject have been quite luminous of
late, for I've been powerful sick.
The fact is, like to have died the
other night, and all of a sudden.
You see had overworked myself a |
fixing up turnIp patch, and got |
wet besides, and didn't stop for
dinner, and was sorter hungry and |
bilious to start on, and we had |
roasten ears for supper and butter
milk and honey, and taking it all |
together I took the green corn
dance about midnight and the small |
of my back caved in, and from then |
until daybreak l never sot up, nor
lay down, nor stood still a minute.
Doubled up and twisted and jerked |
around with excrutiatin' pains, / |
all over one side of the |
house, for we had some Atlanta
company on the other, and my
groanings were worse than a foun-
dered mule. 1t was just awful to
behold and awfuller to experience.
Spirits of turpentine, campfire, hot
water, mustard plaster, mush poul-
tice, paregoric, Jamiaca ginger were
all used externally and internally,
but no relief. [ trotted around and
paced and fox-trotted and hugged
the bed post and laid down and
rolled over on the floor like hun
dred dollar horse, and my wife,
Mrs. Arp, she trotted around too,
dosed me with this thing and that
thing, and had the stove fired up
and hollered for hot water forty /
times before she got it.
Il told you not to work so hard
in the hot sum-" said she. "Oh,
Lordy," said 1.
81 asked you to change your
clothes as soon as you came to the
house and you didn't do it, siad
she. ooh, my country" said l.
s'Don't wake up the company"
she continued. "And you would |
eat them roasten ears for supper
did ever anybody hear of a man eat
ing roasten ears for supper and |
then wash 'em down with butter
milk and honey?" "Oh, my poor
back" said l.
"Do you reckon it's your back
amt 1t further round in frontr"
"Oh, no." said 1, sits everywhere,
it's Stalker, it's Bright's disease,
it's Etna and Vesuvious all mixed |
up. Oh, Pm so sick-can't nobody |
do nothin."
"Poor fellow, poor William, I'm
so sorry for you, but you will wake
up the company if you don't mind |
Pm doing everything | can. You
have taken enough things now to
kill you. l declare l don't know
what to do next, and all this comes
from movin to the country five
miles from a drug store or doctor.
/ told you how it would be-lum-
bags and sKyattiker and a bright
disease, and the Lord knows what, |
and wouldn't be bit surprised if
you had the yellow fever to boot
caught it trampin around Mem
phis and it's just broke out on you.
Poor man, if he does die what will
become of us? But If he gets well
he'll 60 and do the same thing over
again. Don't grunt so loud. / de-
clare you make enough noise to
wake up grave yard. / never saw
such a man. Here, try this mush
poultice. 1 thought that water
never would get hot. Does it burn
you? Oh, yes, 1t burns, hut fire Is
nothin now; let it burn" ''Oh, I'm
so sick. Bring me the paregoric
or the laudanum or something. Il
can't stand it ten minutes" said /.
''There amt drop left. You've
taken it all. There's nothing but
chloroform, and I'm so afraid of
that, but maybe it will relieve you,
William. My poor William, how
do hate to see you suffer so, but you
will never do as l tell you. Do
please don't wake up the company"
Well, I took the chloroform and
went to sleep-to the happy land
all-blessed relief, and when l walked
/ was easier, and in due time / was
restored to my normal condition.
In my gyrations my mind was ex-
ceedingly active. 1 ruminated over
my past life, and could find little
comfort in what Lee Hunt wrote
about some Arab who was admitted
to heaven because he loved his fel-
low-men, just so l have loved