South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1879-09-05
WIT AND HUnIoR.

stirring dispOsfmon, had = man at work
IN his garden. who was quite the reverse.
Joaes. said he, "did you erer see
snadP Certainly" said Jones. "Then.n
SAID the old man. "you must have met
him, for you never could overtake him"
a waiter was told by a countryman to
bring something Of what he had" The
waiter brought him regular dinner up
on small dishes, isis the usual form. and
sci them around his plate. The coun.
tryinan surveyed them carefully a mo-
ment, and then broke out: well, like
your samples; now bring on your dinner
SOUND LEGAL OPiEIoN.-An hon
est farmer once called upon the late Ro.
ger NJ. Sherman, the celebrated LAWYER.
and told him he wanted an opinion. He
had heard great deal about the value
OF Mr.. Sherman's opinions, and how n
great many people went TO him to get
an opinion and John. who had never had
nor was likely to have lawsuit OF other
difficulty for lawyer to help him from,
thought he would have an "opinion."
"Well, John, what can | do to help
you Z" said Mr.. S., when John in his
turn was shown into the room.
"Why, lawyer" replied John, 81 hap.
pened to be IN town, and having nothing
to do, l thought / would come and oct
your opinion"
Estate your case, John. What's the
matter p
"Oh, nothing. amt got no lawsuit ;
only want to get one of your opinions !;
they say they're very valuable"
But, John-about what 7"
ooh anything, SIR take your pick
and choice -
MIR. Sherman, seeing the notions Of his
client ON the matter in hand, took pen,
and writing few words, folded them
up and handed them to John, who care.
fully placed them in his pocket.
Whats to pay, sir Z"
-Four and sixpence," Yankee money
rs cents.
When John returcd home the next
morning, he found his wife, who pretty
much took the lead in his business mat
tiers, anxlously discussing with his chief
farm servant the propricty of getting in
large quantity of oats on that day,
which had been cut on the one previous
or OF undertaking some other labor.
John was appealed to, to settle the
question, but he could not decide. At
length he said: "I'll tell you what Pol
ly; I've been to Il lawyer, and got an
opinion that cost me four and sixpencc.
There it is-rcad her out it's a law
ycr's writing and | can't make head or
tail out of it -
John, by the way, could not read the
plainest print but Polly, who was some,
thing of scholar, opened the paper and
read as follows: "Ncvcr put off till to-
morrow what can be done to-day"
Enough said y cried John; chem
oats must be got in" And they were
got in" and the same night such
storm came on as otherwise would have
ruined them entirely.
John often afterwards consulted the
opinion, and acted upon it and to this
day entortains Il high estimate OF law.
ycr's opinions generally, and of thc Ia
mented Nr. Shcrman's il particular.
81 am of the opinion, mother, that
the cmpyrcan Of the future will far OK
coed in glory the ---" "Now, John.
don't say anything more l will speak
to your father and have You sent to the
Concord school Of philosophy right a.
way"
a JUVENILE ACEoBATIC Fear Grand
papa, "What on earth is the matter with
you, Tommy" You have been crying
all the morning"
TOMMY $50 would you cry too, grand.
papa, if you fell down twice without get.
ting mp once
They occupied rustic seat meath the
spreading elm the pale moonbcams fell
gently through the lcafy Loushs, and
shed o'cr each their soft and silycry ra-
dance. DARLING" whispered tho poetic
icwcler, "you are like the matcLlcss da-
mond you are SO brilliant and So pure.
And what gem do Ircminl you most Of,
dcaric?" "Thc emerald" she softly
murmured because you arc So green.
a QUESTION FULL or PHLosOPHY \
Washington young lady Of the mature
age Of six propounded the following
question TO her aunt the other day. 1t
was after the story Of the Creation and
tho Is.I1 IaI boor rrl.fnJ ,rl H. ,.c,,,,,,