The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-02-13
EVERYDAY spICERIRs.

EVERYDAY SPICERIRS.
NEVER tell man that he Is fool.
In the first place he will not believe
you, and in the next place you make
him your enemy.-Albany Argas.
SHE asked him if her new dress wasn't
as sweet as spring rose. and the brute
said it was, even to the minor attraction
of having little due upon it.
BURDETTE has gone back to Iowa. he
says: "Once more set foot on my ma
tive soil, and real estate is rising, in con-
sequence of 80 much of it being with
drawn from market" - Toledo Blade.
A YOUNG lady. when solicited for
kiss by an inebriated suitor, refused,
but couldn't keep him from pressing
her hand. She says she escaped by
q tight" squeeze. Norristo,rn Herald.
THE Boston Advertiser relates that the
same ship lately took to Africa eight
hundred thousand gallons of rum and
one missionary. Heavensi what did
they want of 30 much missionary
Buffalo Erpress.
WHAT'S IN A NAME2->-'-
When he commenced: -a Why Is door"
She vowed she would not hear him more;
"Conundrums are fat,
Now understand that
= Utica Observer.
THERE is man in Norristown who
has never had a sleigh ride. But he has
had his ears frozen twice and his heels
badly frost bitten, 50 he can easily form
an idea of the pleasures of a sleigh ride.
-NorTistotcn Herald. sf,
A PAIR of drawers-straws in lemon
ade.-Puck. A pair of pants-two dogs
after long chase Philadelphia Chror-
iele. A pair of slippers-two eels.-
Albany Argus. A pair of shoo's-twc
women chasing hen.- Rochester Demo
crat.
A FELLOW in the Michigan State
Prison under sentence for life, has
earned twelve hundred dollars by work.
ing over time. He has petitioned for
pardon, or at least " vacation" that
| he may have good time spending the
money.-New Hauen Register.
IT was very honest old Dutch judge
in Schoharie County, N. Y, who lis
tened for several hours to the arguments
of counsel, and then said: Dis case
has been ferry ably argued on both
sides, and dare have peen come fiery nice
points of law brought up. ] shall take
dree days to consider these points, but /
shall eventually decide for de blaintif." /"
-Boston Post.
FREE advertisement for an actress
Kate CIaxton came near being run over
by frightened horse in syracuse, the
other day. That is to say, she was in
one street and the horse in another, and
nothing between her and eternity but
several blocss.-C Cincinnati Sun.
/ HERE and there in some parts of the
country you find some of the good old
fashioned people sticking to the royal
old fiannel-bound hot brick, which they
put into the bottom of the sleigh when
they start out. The old man usually
} gets home, however, with the brick
wrapped up in his hat.-Neao York
Herald.
: THE best and about the only way to
get even with treacherous mule-and
who ever saw any other?-is to take his
shoes off lead him on to smooth ice and
then blackguard him. He dare not in
dulge his natural propensity, and the
vexation of spirit exhibited in his intel
ligent countenance is really interesting.
-Binghamton Republican.
so LET IT BE.
All yes Il must be better sol
The jarring chord too well know,
In the anthem, deep and grand,
8 Which my soul strives to understand,
: Itcresps. and browns the heavenly strain,
!. And wakes TO life the old old pain
And tits not fair that should bring
!, Its echo in your ears to sing.
| thought that might draw from you
little strength, some courage true,
Born Of friendship nobly best
Forgive me, friend; God knoweth best,
4 No more my woes shall worry thee;
Pll ask not cen thy sympathy
HENRY WARD BEEcHER lectured on
"Amusements in New York recently
!, The Star report gives this: II am
= asked if dancing is wrong. Not fol
those who sit all day, I answer, but fol
those whose life is multiform caper, i
; is folly. Is card-playing wrongf Well
:, l think old people might indulge in ar
y occasional game of whist. About
g twenty years ago went to the first bill
J. lard tournament held in New York.
e expected, in my simplicity, to see mos
e of the ministers and judges Of the city
entered The hall with some amazement
n Every man who ever raced q horse II
u New York or Brooklyn was present.
y received round Of applause. got
" little uncomfortable, and went over +
le the reporters table. There more az
T. plause greeted me. I changed my seat
e but the applause still continued. As
70 went out Of the hall, the doorkeeper,
N fellow with kindly intentions, said
e Won't you have something to drinl
9, Mr.. BeecherT"
n