Litchfield enquirer., 1879-06-26

rasssR
 better than they should be. I thought I dis covered rival animosity in his tone that might naturally arise in the breast of an envi. ous mortal who was seeking with another medicine to supplant the immense popularity of the B. F. P. in East Nineveh, but l stifled the unworthy suspicion in my bosom, and madeno remark in reply to his unfriendly in- situations.
 When the landlord re-entered, [ began the new conversational era myself:
 ''Have you always kept tavern here g
 ''No; follerdthe sea till | bust a blood vessel, and had to give it up"
 (Which vessel dld you give up?" ventured to inquire, by way of enlivening our dry talk with mild attempt at facetiousness.s % ~f *s
 "The Anaa Maay Ann," replied the literal sea-faring land lord, evidently unmoved by my effort at humor.
 It was his turn now: .E cts. .EsE
 ''Bin lect'rin' leng?"
 I shook my head. . .
 ''Healthy bizniZ" ---
 Another and more impressive shake.
 ''How long doos't take to git agoin' in't?"
 "That depends"
 ''What warnt to git ats this: I've got a boy Ecoinin' 'longs got to dew suthin byme-by. Naowe would ye advise him to try lect'rin' p
 hesitated a reply, and the landlord contin- ued:
 ."P'r'aps you'd give him lift to git him , a-runnin' when he's ready to begin?" Certainly. How old is your son ?'
 "Miss Todd d tell ye better'n can, but should say he's goin' on to nineteen"
 l advised timely application to ''Bureau." '"
 My reference to an old-fashi oned piece of furniture puzzled the landlord to that extent he began to rub his hands thoughtfully and whistle a melancholy tune that did not imply comprehension on his part.
 What's the sekertary's name ?''
 Tt is not secretary; it's 6u''e0u you must apply to, ," answered.
 Then explained to him more minutely the office of a Lecture Bureau, and he entered my remark, condensed, on the fiy-leaf of an alma nac hanging up behind the door. That being done, he unused a while, and then asked:
 ''Ef young feller started aout in the fall O the year tofoller lect'rin and stuck tew it till plantin' time in the spring, what could he clear?"
 Really could not say"
 ''Give rough guess"
 At this point became alarmed at his busi- ness-lIke look at the matter, and not wishing to give a serious father with large family on his hands any delusive answer to pecnniary questions of so grave nature, felt bound to undeceive him as to hopes of putting his son into so precarious business as featuring.
 1 pass over with brief mention and no har- bored i'll feeling the unpleasantness of that never be-forgotten night at the insalubri- ous East NiHeyeh, tavern" where did not sleep, although that was my design in going thither. touch lightly on,t the multiform de- lnquencies of that umbrella -without-a-handle establishment: the appalling dearth of food 'saour cook having gone up to Carthage for to attend military ball''-the narrow minded wash-stand, the paucity of water, and the en- tire non-existence of towels in my room. 1 say nothing of the alarming antics of the air tight stove in that freezing apartment, the fiery little article bursting out toward morning with the evident design of burning the hotel. l barely a1lude to the midnight turbulence on the opposite side of the entry, occasioned by the unexpected arrival of a youthful guest the landlady's ninth, as my host informed me in the morning.
 Perhaps some time," smilingly intimated the landlord yell make piece O poetry on the events comin' to pass durin your fust visit to aour hotel. But the least ye ken dew be- fore ye go is to name the baby"
 And so, bearing in mind the object of my visit that bitter January night to East Nineveh and all had suffered during the hours of my sojolrn there, Suggested that the child should be called Idrophobia. : 6 H tfWa'alr drawled the landlord, ''that .doos hay ruther high-tened, ristocratic snap to it, and shouldn't wonder eff my wife took tew it booty well; but ye never know how a moth- CTS feelin's is a-goin' to jump when baby's got to be chris'ened Look here as there ain't no paper layin raound, s'pose ye just chalk the name aout on these bellowses, and Pll take it up stairs afore dinner to show Miss Todd. She mayn't see nothin' in it at all, bat she may" l told him by all means to consult the moth- er's taste in the matter, and if her opinion did fOiun Nrith I foa1 of all disappointed.
 u s an he" ye foRa m h5s acqHaEeG GesR4d n Miss Todd and little Idrophoby Glad to show ye aour new cemmertarry, next time ye come, if bizniz is slack. Take ye raound en- ny where"
 l assured him, with my hand on my carpet bag that whenever had occasion to come again into that region, he should know of 1t in season to exhibit the 'cemmerterry" and all the other beauties of East Nineveh.
 And so we parted, have no doubt, for ever, and can undergo the separation during the length of time with firmness. lam not indebt ed to the landlord of the East Nineveh 'tarv- ern'' for much that was beneficial in the way Of sustenance or repose, but 1 am his debtor for one phrase at least worth remembering. As he was letting out of the hotel door lug ubriOus- looking neighbor, who had evidently bored him by too much complaining talk, he said, quietly as he turned the key. Good red dance to iim:
 '.WhO is that ?" imputed.
 ''Oh, nobody in pertickler-only one O these ere long Dleter fetLers tut goes On G-cryin' arter Ue JUnerdI's GUOCer"
 It Is not often that a free lecturer bears his own travelling expenses, liquidates his hotel bill, and is obliged to pay for hearing himself talk. but twenty years since, East Nineveh compelled me to endure those novel sensations.
 Ii is sO long ago, or l would never have