Litchfield enquirer., 1879-07-17
CLIPPINGS.
HIS CHOICE,


 He remains Reportaire 1 .r4r.s ..- 100 e<aY(I
 Many cigars are like facts-stubborn things. 1 The Sunday morning fly has made its ap- pearance.
 l Sara Bernhardt' has four childfen-not a 1 wise one among them.
 "A close mouth catches no flies'' This does not hold good of amateur base ballists. A new brand of cigars is called ''The lottery ticket" because only one in a thousand draws.
 The great beauty of hanging woman mur- deress is that it prevents her from featuring.
 A typo states that he is engeged at pick hicks every day. He has been granted a va- cation. .tjl -Nl5Ot}. | The latest burlesque announced is entitled Pretty Chicago Girls" What an absurdity it must be-
 Jack-"Been to see Bergh, eh? How did he treat you?" Bill-"F "First-rate, first-rate; treat ed me like dog!"
 Throw physic to the dogs" Yes, and get arrested for killing a valuable animal. We don't see it, thank you.
 The mosquito almost always succeeds in gettinga speech from the personft fonors with serenade. sSkEI
 The earth making but three hundred and 1 sixty-five revolutions year, it is away behind Mexico in that sort of business. A %% -s
 Gia1dma-''Yes children, when I was young as you are I used to walk in my sleep" Tommy [eagery]-''Say, gran'ma, what time did you make ?" E. ' Es It is curious coincidence that Mr. Fore paugh was the keeper at the Philadelphia Zoo ological Gardens who cut the tigers toe nails lately.
 Little boys can afford to go bathing in the river now. The water is nice and warm, and collins are cheaper than they have been since the war.
 The Boston Traveller has an article on ''Gas in Boston," This is the first time since the founding of the city that Transcendentism was ever spoken of in that vulgar way.
 The lover who vows that he is willing to die for the object of his choice means no more than the man who borrows five dollars and agrees to ''drep around tomorrow" There never was freckle so small on one woman's nose, but that some other woman could see it just as plain as an ink spot on white handkerchief.
 Those Bridgeport papers are never serious. "A city woman having disocated her jaw, the papers say ''her husband was greatly alarm ed."
 Alphonse Karr wittily said, touching the abolition of capital punishment for mnrder: By all means, only let messieurs the murder CTS give the example, and cease to execute us"
 About week ago an Iowa man died. He was very wealthy and left three sons, his only heirs and, would you believe it, the ungrate- full boys got together and ran away with all the property before the lawyers could get at it and divide it with each other?
 A lady who was suffering under slight in- disposition told her husband that 1t was with the greatest difficulty she could breathe, and the effort distressed her exceedingly. ''I wouldn't try, my dear!" he soothingly respon- ed. - ...
 This is the season of the year when the good little boy refuses to go in bathing with his companions because his mother forbade him, stays on the bank to mind their clothes, and scoots for home after tying knots in the sleev- es of their trousers
 Deac ,n-"Gool aftern oon, brother Smith you neglected to pray for rain, and our crops are all drying up."
 Minister-''So I did. I am sorry But you know the First Church have picnic to- morrow, and that will doubtless do quite as we'll"
 A French newspaper says that in a certain Irish cathedral there used to be shown three skulls; one little one and two big ones which the guide described to visitors as the skull of St. Patrick when he was a child, the skull of St. Patrick grown up, and the skull of St. Patrick as an old man.
 The Baptsts have eleven churches among the Cherokee Indians, with native member ship of 1,0S3. There is one good thing about the Baptist missions among the Indians. Eve ry Indian of theirs has had at least one thor ough hath since his profession of religion, which is more than the pedobaptist missions can claim for their converts. He was a Chinaman slightly over the bay and he rushed into Blake street saloon, rush. | ed up to the bar, and cried cXcitedly, 'tWhis- | kee cockcG iailee for me- ale sainee Melican man." The barkeeper arranged the mixture, l handed it out. and the Chinaman, pouring it down, started for the door, shouting 'Puttee down on slattee,; ale samee Mecan man." And long before the barkceper could get hold | of club the celestial was seen no more of men. f4 '-4 -a t-4-- ...esSt
 One of the benefits resulting from the course of lectures Rev. Mir Hubbell has been giving on Sunday evenings, has been to call the at tention of the people to that admirable hook, ''Bunyan's Pilgrims Progress, which Macaul- ey said was one of the best in the language for | specimens of pure English. A lady returning | from one of the lectures the other evening was asked the subject of the discourse. She answer l ed, ''Bunyan." The questioner. in all honesty asked again, Was it on the heel or the toe?'' fa-Dan6asy Nesos. E A.-s- ssSrsaa .ss. &4~s
 '"Ah," said one gentleman to another at the club, ''so you've had the misfortune to lose your poor nephew" "Yes, poor fellow He would gamble in spite of all the doctors told hinlsabout avoiding excitement when he was subject to heart. disease and the other night while he was playing ue ettt je,t de tire Ca lit- tie game of draw )and there W wasabout 90 O00f on the table. he suddenly dropped bis cards and fell over on the table dead "@ s'Poor fel- low How sad P e.'Aye, you may well say How sad! !'Aa Heahad four kings and an ace in his hand. ':s,s .eax arwsms@>
 ~"Goodness Gracious, &Ruthy!" remarked Mrs. Hayes last evening, when the president came in and told her that Congress had ad- journed, s'How round shouldered you are get | ting" ''Not round shouldered, my dear," said the chief executive, blandly, That's bone, back bone; spinal column ysu know. Vetoes | did it, vetoes my dear" Then the president seated himself and as he chewed lozenge in a cont emplative mood, remarked persuasively. Cant you send out my dear and get some entrants and make little sangaree. I'm trife thirsty and wouldn't mind if you made it strong for once" He got it. Spunk will win in the long run.-Staadard s. |