San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1879-03-01
.Lohu PhteniD and JcF Daris.

,JONN IUtcNtG UhN VII Hot'' p
"But there's one thing about him, !"
said Milford, "that 1 don't believe has
ever been published-a practical joke,
If course" When Frank Pierce was
president, jeff Davis, then secretary of
war, issued general invitation to the
officers of the army who were skillful
draughtsmen to send in suggestions for
tbe new uniform which il had been de-
cided to adopt. One such invitation
was sent to each officer. .-.
Lieut.. Derby was very ready with his
pen-a really ingenious artist. In re-
ply he sent to the wal department de-
SIGN for new unifoYm--or rather, a Pc
culiar addition to the old uniform-the
amendment consisting merely of a ring
attached to the seat of the trowsers of
each private soldier. Each officer was
to carry, instead of sword, long pole,
with hook in the end like shep-
herds crook. The pole and the ring
enabled officers to keep privates from
running away in battle. Fugitives
could be easily caught by it and brought
back. Stragglers could be kept in line.
Moreover, the ring would be very use
full in the cavalry service to fasten sol
diers to the saddles to keep them from
falling off; and in the artillery service
the rings were to be used for draft pur-
poses in the absence of mules.
These specifications were accompa-
MED by the most grotesque pictures,
representing officers hauling back cow
mdly recruits by the serviceable ring,
cavalry securely fastened to the top Of
their steeds by the same device, and ar
tillerymen harnessed to cannon, draw
ing them through narrow defiles or up
an activity inaccessible to mules by ca
bles attached to the posterior staples.
On another sheet of bristol-board
was an illustration in gaudy colors of
-Derby's Rotary Mule Howitzer," &C.
sompanied by the following descrip-
ton: upon the back of young and
Igilant mule, strap mountain how
itzer, the muzzle pointing towards the
tail. A similar piece of ordnance is fas-
tened with iron bands under the ami
mails abdomen, the muzzle aimed be-
tween his forelcCs to the front. There
are four gunners--two to each piece
and persuader,' as he is called, whose
business it is to persuade the mule to
stand firm and not retreat by stufing
him with oats after each discharge with
tin sausage-stuffer. When Indians or
other legitimate game appear in view,
the mule is, by crank movement on
the tail limbcred to the front. Itdon't
make any difference which way the
mule faces land here is where my pat
ent comes in)--one gun is always point
ing towards the front At the command
Fire. the top howitzcr is discharged.
The recoil throws the mule on his back,
bringing the second gun into position.
This is discharged, which suddenly
throws the mule to his feet again, when
the gunners swab out the mules throat
With hay and reload" The accompany
ING Illustrations Gin brown, red, blue
and gold, and still on file in the war de-
nartment represented the rotary mule
IN seven different attitudes, looking
confident and happy all the time.
This was felt to be outrageous auda-
aty on the part of subaltern. The
clerks in the war department laughed
At the funny letter immoderately, but
neir superiors looked serious. Jeffer-
Sn Davis, the head of the department,
SSs terribly indignant, and he resolved
" defend his wounded dignity. Char
ses and specifications were drawn mp
-salnst Lieutenant Derby, and the Off
RS were actually named for his court
Hartial when William r. Marcy, secre-
Siy Of state. a man Of more sense and
NiPoise, said to the irate secretary:
L 4 n