Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1879-02-13
Burdock's Goat.

then went home and fattened their noses
| against the back windows to watch for
coming events.
Before his goatship had spent three
minutes in the garden, he had managed
to make himself perfectly at home, pulled
| down the clothes-line and devoured two
lace collars, and a pair of undersleeves,
and a striped stocking, belonging to Mrs.
Burdoek, and was busily engaged sam
pIing one of Burdock's shirts, when the
hired girl came rushing out with basket
of clothes to hang up.
ssThe saints preserve US 70 she exelaim-
ed, coming to dead halt, and gazing
open-mouthed at the goat, who was calm
ly munching away at the shirt.
''Shew, shew, shew, therel" screamed
the girl, setting down the basket, taking
her skirts in both hands, and shaking
them violently towards the intruder.
Then the goat, who evidently consider
ed her movements in the light of q chal-
lenge, suddenly dropped his wicked old
head and darted at her with the force of
Locomotives; and just one minute later
by the clock, that girl had tumbled back
somersault over the clothes basket; and
was crawling on her hands and knees In
search of place to die, accompanied by
the goat who was butting her unmerci-
fully every third second.
1t is likely that he would have kept on
butting her for the next two weeks if
Mrs. Burdock, who had been witness of
the unfortunate affair, had not armed
herself with family poker, and hurried
to the rescue.
''Merciful goodness, Annie! do get up
on your feet!'' she exclaimed, aiming a
blow at the beasts head, and missing it
| by the shortest kind of inches. It was not
repeated, owing to the goat suddenly ris-
ing upon his hind feet, waltzing toward
her, and striking her in the small of the
back, hard enough to loosen her finger
nails and destroy her faith in the blessed
Immortality. - ~ 7
When Mrs. Burdook returned to
her consciousness, she crawled out from
behind the grindstone where she had been
tossed, and made for the house; stopping
only once, when the goat came after, and
butted her, head first, into the grape-ar-
Dor. -
Once inside the house, the door was
locked and the unfortunates sought the
solitude of their own rooms, and such
comfort as they could extract from rub
bing and growing; while the goat wan
dered around the garden like Satan in the
book of Job, seeking what he might de-
YOUR; and the eleven little Boblink boys
fairly hugged themselves with pleasure
over the performance.
By the time Burdock returned home
that evening, and learned all the particu-
lars from his arnica-soaked wife, the goat
had eaten nearly all the weeks washing,
half the grape vine, and one side of the
clothes basket.
''Why in the thunder didn't you put
him out, and not leave him there to de-
stroy everything?'' he demanded angriIy.
''Because he wouldn't go, and I was not
going to stay there to be killed; that's
why" answered his wife excitedly.
FEWouIdn't, fddlesticks ~ he exclaimed
as he came into the garden, and caught
sight of the shaggy and highly perfumed
visitor.
The goat bit off another mouthful of the
basket and regarded him with mischiev-
| lous twinkle OF his eye. ===-==
''You won't go hey?'' exclaimed Bur
dock, tryingto kick hole in the enemy's
ribs. 'sI'll show you wheth-''
The sentence was left unfinished, as the
goat just then dropped his head on Bur-
docks bosom; and before he could reeov-
er his equilibrium. he had been butted
seven times in fresh spots, and was down
on his knees, and crawling around in a
very undignified manner, to the horror Of
the family, and the infinite glee of the
eleven young Boblinks next door.
''Look out the goat don't hurt youl''
screamed Mrs. Burdock as the goat sent
him flying into sand-pile.
When Burdock had got his bald head
out of the sand, he was dirt all over his
clothes, and tried to catch the brute By
the horns, but desisted after he had lost
: two front teeth, and been rolled in the
mud.
sFDon't make living show of yourself
before the neighbors ~ advised his wife.
ssCome in, pa, and let him be 70 begged
his daughter.
"Golly, dad, look out he's comm
agin 20 shouted his son enthusiastically.
Mr.. Burdock waxed profane, and swore
three-story oaths in such rapid succession
that his family held their breaths; and a
pious old lady, who lived in house in the
rear, shut up her windows, and sent out
the cook for policeman or missionary.
'Run for it, dadl'' advised his son q
moment later, when the goats attention
seemed turned away.
Burdock sprang to his feet, and follow
ed his offspring's suggestion. He was
Logging it in superb style, and the chances
of his reaching the house seemed excel
lent, when the flagrant brute suddenly
clapped on more steam, gained rapidly.
and darting between his legs, capsized
him into the ash-box.
His family dragged him inside, another
candidate for rubbing with arnica and 3
blessed haven of rest.
The back of the house has been her
, metica lily sealed; and Burdock now pro
poses extending an invitation to the mill
2 tia regiments of Boston to come down aud
r practice workmanship off the roof; prom
ising to furnish live goat for target
and a silver napkin-ring for the first
prize.
] 'GIRE Der cheese a vaIr Chance
t The man staggered into tidy lunch
house over the Rhine, Topped into chair
slapped his feet upon the table, showed
o his hat on the back of his head, and calleC
for heer bread and T,imburper The nro-