The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-10-15
BRIe-A-BRAC.
HE DLSCOURSES or WHAT HE
SAW At JONESBORO
HE WAS THERE.


boro centennial % "Tell you something
Won don't know ?'' What's the matter
with you? Keep cool g I'd have kept |
cool if I'd been at the Jonesboro centen-
NAL I" Wasn't there Didn't | have
a righteous old sweat, and with that and |
the dust, look like election ground gin
ger bread Let US reason awhile tOge- !
Their. You didn't see half the things, |
you were so busy talking to that Repuo- |
lican fellow. Don't tackle Republicans. |
They're all talk Did you ever see so |
many statesmen-turned farmers got to- |
gether before Z? And didn't they come |
down to the ordinary range of intellect?
Oh, lord, yes
IN THE CORN ZELDA DUCK.
Wasn't that pretty place where the
railroad dumped US? That corn field,
strewn with pumpkins, and garnished
with negro cabin, under conviction.
By the way, (hold your head closer
| when ace got to the stile Il don't mean
the style we tried to put on } did you OBJ
serve that gal in the black satin pull
back and chip hat lope" over it ? Did
you notice the rose-pink on her downy
cheek, like Paris green over cabbage ?
And wouldn't you have liked to helpher
over that stile, and, as she g Topped"
| kissed the rOse-pink away? | mean the
sweety" who showed a foot-as she
went over Wasn't that foot for man
| to put stocking on and come the garter
movement? She was duck there, if no
where else. Farewell, Malvine And
wasn't that sprightly walk through the
| dust
| THE TOURNAMENT.
When you got inside did you watch
| the tournament There was one fellow
there, got up regardless of the hot wave,
| In sort of compromise between Knight
| Templar and Militia Colonel. But he
rode splendidly and captured the rings
with his brave lance. Yet there was one
| chap, in common attire, who did the
same thing with the butt end of his rid
ing whip.
THE DISTINGUISHED GUESTS.
Were you present when General Key
entered the grounds? Key and com
panion, in buster and churu hat, were
cooked up in an open conveyance. In
| front marched the Morristown Silver In
strument Association, playing Hail
| Columbia" while behind struggled the
| Colored Brass Club, perpetrating the
! year of Jubilee" Good thing By
! the way, they do say the MOrristown
band, when the balloon assembled, vail
ed out, NEARER, my God, to Thee. AS
many of the band are young men, was
! glad to hear this. There must be good
seed sown when men want to go to heav-
en-, even in a balloon. The exhibition
of stock, implements, vegetables and
things novelistic, was first class. The
Knoxville folks claim superiority in
bulls and chickens" Don't know how
that is.
AMONG THE RELICS.
The "Relics"-always hereafter with
capital R-were to me a source of
boundless interest. didn't see the quilt
that was said to be 100 years old. How
ever, that don't matter, for I've got one
at home that looks as if it was damned
near that critical epoch. beg pardon,
| mean it has the semblance of antiqui-
ty, although it is not in a good fix. And
there was the Mechlenburgh Declare
ton, numerous specimens of the ohirOg-
raphy of Andrew jackson; a foot adZe
dangerous weapon) from Switzerland;
Henry Clay's cradle; diaper, once used
by Daniel Webster; gum rattle, identi-
fed with the early days of Judge Marks,
and many other things closely connect
ed with the history of JonesbOro
ON THE COURT HOUSE STEPS
That Jonesboro is 100 years old no one
can doubt who will take a seat on the |
steps of her Court House and look |
around him. The dilapidatiOn and dirt |
would indicate 500 ANNALS. And imme-
diately aside its steps is seated an old |
negress, who appears 200 years old, with |
her bent back and cane-a perfect type |
of the Guinea transporting hat shap- |
ed like an inverted wash pan, and with
a mannerism voluble, autic and shrewd.
Aside me was a tall spare man, dressed
in home clothes, and wearing straw
hat shaped like the ordinary silk hat,
while from his arm dangled a pair of
veteran saddle wallets. His friends call
ed him Doctor, and he told me he was
hard shelled Baptist. No doubt, although
mixing theology and materia medica, he
was a good man, and he will excuse me
should class him among the centennial
Relics.
AT THE WASHINGTON HOUSE.
But Mhat struck me, however, as
most peculiar about the town of Jones'
bOrO was its hill and hollow surface, and |
the taste for battlemented walls in its
While sitting on the porch
of our good friend, Capt. Sevier-one Of
the few places of refuge available that
my eye ranged across the
track, and over the wall and circular I
loop holes of the old depot, l couldn't {
help thinking of Childe Harold !
% 1 stood in veaics, on the bridge of Signs;
A palace and prison on each hand"
Now, never you mind about the palace
part, for when l was hot and tired The {
Captain gave me place to lie down in. /
And a man doesn't need whole palace 8
when he wants to make st. Andrews g
cross or a spread eagle of himself.
PREPARATIONS TO RETURN. (
But, in your born days, did you ever
see such mess as there was at the de- 7
pot before the train started Conductor
Mac DoOley deserves to be canOnized-
'Or Job was a magpie alongside of him. /
they'd bile in the cars and bile out =
they'd rush, jam, scramble and shout =
Twas this train going and twas that q
rain going. Had | been in Macs place '
should have stood GA my head, swore, q
committed suicide, Rugged some old :.
bean pod of ar old maid, taken drink y
If Robertson county whisky, or done
Ome crazy thing. But Mac was as cool :
IS cucumber and as pleasant as bask- :
It of chips. So, l say, Mac, all hail g
AS TIC WHAT SHOULD BE REMEDIED. r
Having knocked off the main heads of \
ny discourse, | must come to my perO- :
alton, which is simply this Was this y
Fair success. taken bye and large p :
nd has Jonesboro aught TO show for her =,
90 years-other than dirt and glory ? l =
will not deny that JonesbOro did every - -
hing for her peculiar guests, but as r
ilgrim and a stranger wish to speak y,
admit, for start, that, as an exhibit =,
t attractions, said centennial will not y,
Omit of discount; but the public paid h
D see those attractions and that n
lade the thing even. The railroad did =
II that a railroad could-it carried pas e
engers at reduced rates, and landed the II
assengers as near the fair ground as was :,
without running through the =,
Orn field. And there were conYeyances s.
, and from the fair at reasonable rates. ~
ut claim that, of the department of az
Iblic comfort, so conspicuous at the n