The Republican journal., 1879-07-24
Looking After The Kitchen Fire.

" hen N me course "i human events 1t
becomes necessary for a man u lo"h alter
the kitchen tirc-and Notwithstanding the
eNl tence Of Magma taalta, the IccIara-
tLon OF Independence the nlII "t RI-htS
and the several amendments 10 thc TED
tral constitution. 1t does become necessary
now and then tor a man to do lust this
very thing there Is apt to hc III the I'M
mediate vicinity OF the kitchen more gen
une, heartfelt lanentatl"n than has been
known III the world since the days OF
jeremiah
It Is all very well to he told IN nm AIRY.
of1-hahu way tHat al The llIr needs Is a
niue rahllG ald HUG codl ald then u
nave the urMt turned on MAJ may hr
what q Kitchen fire needs when q woman
mas To- attend to II. but when man has
70 attend To II. II needs ever 50 much
more \ man having 4 great mind and
| beng disposed to phlloSnphlc methods.
| naturally wants t. deal With the tire that
has been lunder protest. muuStrd To ms
charge. III accordance with scientific meth
ods. Now, II Is notorious tact that the
/ majority OF Kitchen stoves are bullt III dC-
/ corddnce with cllIhcnllN unSclchtIllc prln-
clpieS. ana. consequently, are not suSccp-
tlhlt OF beng ucat WITH III lhs way 1T alL
Philosophy mas not amy effect upon the
/ llre whatever; what the ire wants and
insists upon having is coaXing II j. the
province ot women To coax. and the man
who attempts il becomes absurd at once.
Most Of us nave seen men thy to coax eats
and dogs and babies and things Of that
sort and have observed what a mess they
make OF it. Nobody ever has seen 4 man
try to coax the kitchen fire except the
mans Wite-tor he is wise enough to con-
! tine such exhibitions OF himself To the
! bosom OF his family and the Wife tol
! reasons of her own. does not talk about
! the performance much outside. She does
| not wish needeSSlN to incense him bV
/ holding him up to ridicllc She max
| want him to look after the fire again.
! But, beyond a doubt, it is a foolish sort
Of performances and reticcnce concern
| ing it is wise; especially as the result
| generally Is utterly dlspropOrtlOnatr to
| the endcaVOr Apart from the moral diff
| ficulty the mechanical difficulties IN the
| way of keeping the fire going are apt Il
| be t0lurably serious. How, for instance,
! is it possible to poke a fire when there is
not shadow OF poker Oh the premises
| Perhaps this is putting the case too strong
! ly; OF course, there may be poker some
! where about, but if it is not to he found
| for all the good 1t does, there might Just
as We'll not be amy. And it is a momen-
tlous matter, IN a small way, that there
lS nothing to lit the lids OF the stove
with True, the lldS can be worried of
with the handle OF an non spoon. and il
IS possible to rake the tlre by .labbng al
II between the bars OF the CRATE with the
bread-knite but these ingenious applica-
tons OF means to ends never seem to be
well received, when stated in the otficia
report that is rendered at headquarters
when the man at the fire Is relieved. In
deed, there Is something more than 9
mere probaolllty that he Will be told that
even an oWl-'ts II Owls ever looked aftci
kltcheh llres would nave had sellst
enough 70 look uldcf the stove Tor the
poker ana inter, III which sequeStcrec
NOOK 10 DE sure as events prove, these
use1ui instruments actually have beer