Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1879-02-05
Well. / Should Smile!

women IN short hair are dOck-treSSes.
An advanced pupil-a protruding eye.
Oarsmen should wear their hair in
rowlocks.
Princess Louise carries little cane;
SO did Eve.
Is ladys hair something to adore
when it is banged?
A hen begins to pay interest when
she gets her coup on.
Half loaf is better than loaf OF all
the time.
Every tramp is in favor of the ate
hour law.
It's sever thus-said Alexander when
he cut the Gordian knot.
Venice is overrun with blind men,
although she is mistress of the sea.
Did you ever hear hogshcad speak?
If so, what was it the hogshead?
The only people who really enjoy bad
health are the doctors
A fashionable wrap-Hammeri ng
with the beer mug for more lager.
a still alarm-bursting Of a whisky
copper.
Many son of toll is worth many a
ton of soil.
Song of the. ready revolver" A
charge to keep | have"
A bad thing to sharpen-The waters
edge.
Some men arc like brooks; they are
always niurmurlrs.
Il is the trade dolor that we want to
get rid Of row more than the trade dol
lar.
A new brand of cigars is called "The
lottery ticket" because only one in a
thousand draws.
One of Webster's definitions of plum"
is n handsome fortune, hence the
world plumber.
A new commandment is imperatlvely
needed; Thou shalt not commit adulter-
alton.
The difference between our sanctum
and dairy is: One has an easy chair
and the other cheesy air.
1t is estimated that 81 10000 worth
of IS have been scratched out since the
new year began.-Menasha Press.
Is it not time to hear that the cold has
injured the peach trees? They have
this kind of f. eeze peach down south.
After fellow has lugged trunks and
baggage in hotel for awhile and gets
discharged, he becomes an exporter
New Hduen Register.
Said a philosopher Il don't like a
man who is intimate on short ac-
quaintance. because he is almost sure
TO be short on intimate acquaintance"
"Our enormous consumption of tim
Der" is theme which all young men,
who chew toothpicks on hotel verandas,
are requested to consider.
We hear Of country school-mistress
who encourages scholars in running
matches. She teaches the young idea,
in other words, how to scoot.
Yesterday policeman arrested boy
who had an onion tied in the corner
of his handkerchief. The charge against
him was carrying concealed weepins.
When fast young men in Reno, New,
&c: into a dispute, instead of resorting
to blows, they go into the nearest saloon
and shake the dice to see which is the
biggest liar.
An Irish gentleman having purchased
him what he intended to do with it.
"OchW answered he, "sure I've nothing
to do but pull the bell and wake myself"
Ice dealers have already put in con-
siderable work in preparation for the
season, when it won't make family
mad to have a chunk of ice taken into
the house.-Fond du Lac Reporter.
Already it is announced that the
theft" of the fruit crop for another sea-
son is ruined. Shippers will probably
order the bottoms of their baskets
raised another inch or SO, on the strength
of it.-Fond du Lac Reporter.
When the American citizen of elegant
leisure surveys the magnificent equip
age of kurnel Gosh Billings in Sentral
Parque, he stands spell.bound with
admiration, and remarques to hlz kom-
panion, "Wot a mitey thing is letters. -
NeU York Commercial Adrertiser.
In view of the great sutferings of the
poor this winter weather. a sentimental
young lady worked until midnight for
three nights embroiderlng a blue tlan-
mel ulster for her favorite black-and-tan
terrier,-Ne,0 Hape3l Register.
About this time Prince Bismarck steps
around to his tailor's and remarks: Say,
Schneider, just put a copper lining to