Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1879-10-23

SLanle rOuUO btl6 COTucE!
"Yes, well p
81 told Aleck just now not to 60 inter the
stable among the horses, but he wouldn't
mind me"-
ooh, dear! What has happened?"
"He said he wanted ter see what mule
'ud do when yer tickled its heels with a
a straw"
"Oh, heavensv" gasped the lady and clung
to the mantel for support.
"Well, sir, yer boy Aleck got straw,
snuck up benin sorrel mule, tickled him
on the heels, an I" -"
The lady started for the door. .
can the blame critter never lifted hoof,"'
called the boy. "Never as much as switched
his cussed tail. It's mighty good thing
for Aleck that he didn't too; an thought
I'd come up an tell yer" And he lodged
out at the side entrance.
s@ 1t was sad looking tramp, with a
panied expression of face, that entered bar
room the other day holding in his hand a
SMALL battered canister. "Look at this" he
said, sorrowfnlly, 81 went into gun.shop
and begged for something to eat, and the
mean man handed nae this can of powder.
He said l could 60 shooting-a starving man
go shooting! Just think of it,
"Well, mizzlew retorted the barkeeper,
who had just set up four fancy drinks for a
row of customers.
81 Ipledge you my word," said the vagrsnt,
holding the can within an inch OF the open
stove, "I'm 80 miserable, I've almost mind
to blow myself up"
"Dare you to do it?" said one of the by
ISLANDERS, winking at the crowd.
The wrecked party gave sad, lingering
look at the poured out liquor, that he might
ne'er behold again, and tossed in the can.
The yell that the whole crowd gave as they
started for the opposite side Of the street, was
heard on Telegraph Hill. When they filed
in ten minutes later, the empty can did not
explode, there were four empty glasses on the
counter, the lunch table was mockery, and
the till looked like a savings bank on the day
after really large deposit.
WA1TING-A young man Of Roseville,
Illinois, went into barber shop, the other
day, and demanded shave. The tonsorial
artist submerged his customers countenance
in bed of lather, and then went to the win
dow, sat down, and began reading news
paper. Fifteen minuted passed by. "Here,"
demanded the impatient man in big chair,
"why amt you shaving me? What in thun-
der are you doing?" Calmnly spoke the
barber, not looking up from his paper,
"Waitin' foh de beard to grow, sah." And
then white. faced unshaven man rose up
and leaned over the wash. basin, while eau
tious barber arose and went hastily out into
the country to look for Christmas.
A PLACE WITH A FIRE.-In Connect
cut district school, few days since, little
boy six years old was seen to whisper, but
denied doing so when reproved by the teach
er He was told to remain after school,
when the teacher, trying to impress upon his
youthful mind the sinfulness of not speaking
the truth, asked him if they did not tell him
in the Sundy-school where bad boys went
who told falsehoods. Choking with sobs, he
said, "Yes, marin it is place where there
is fire, but don't remember the name of
the town."
A USEFUL Ass1srANT.-A Snowman travel
ing with panorama of scenes from the Bible,
met Yankee, and, on learning that he
could play the piano, engaged him to play an
appropriate selection after each picture Of
his show that night. The curtain rose, re-
vealing "The Return of the Prodigal Son"
upon which the player struck up, "When
Johnny comes marching home" The effect
produced was wonderful. "Consider your
self engaged to travel with me-" said the
Snowman. "You'll draw better than the
pictures
s@ When Sir Walter Scott was in Ireland
in 1926 he paid a visit to Lord Plunkett at
Old Connaught, Bray. Thence host and
guest made an excursion to Glendalough,
and Sir Walter would not be satisfied to
come away without first climbing to St..
Kevin's Bed. When about to leave the
place, Lord Plunkett gave Kathleen, the
guide, to understand that the lame but ad-
venturous and active visitor was poet.
"Poet!' said she incredulously. "Deuce a
bit of him! He's rael dasent gentleman !!
He gave me halfa-crown."
sg A wellknown Bostonian was trying
a horse one day, in company with the owner,
professional Jockey" Having driven him
a mile or two, the gentleman, who noticed
that he pulled pretty hard, and showed a
good deal of spirit, requiring constant watch
ing and steady rein, said, "Do you think
that is just the horse for woman to driver"
swell, sir" answered the jockey, II must say
that shouldn't want to marry the woman
that could drive that horse"
Our OF Jo1NT.-An Ohio woman yawned
her jaw out of joint week ago, and at last
accounts two doctors had been unable to re-
store it to its normal condition. A physician
in the next town knows how to effect cure
in such cases; but the woman's husband,
who is lover Of quietness and peace, and
something of brute besides, says blamed if
he is going fifteen miles for doctor.
Br A gentleman, travelling on train of
cars, recently said to the conductor: "Sup-
pose the brakes should give way, where
would we 20 to-" The conductor remarked
that it was impossible for them to give way.
But the gentleman again asked the same
question, when the conductor replied: at
all depends on what your past life has been"
T1RED.-Grandma went on board mod
ern steamer, and walking up to pier glass,
she saw an old lady approaching. 81 won.
der if you are as tired as am?" she said,
mpassionately, and the kindly old face
looked toward her in silent sympathy.