Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-08-29
A MODEL HOTEL,
The Remarkable Regulations of a Michigan
| Landlord.

| The Remarkable Regulations of a Micltiga,
| Landlord.
The proprietor of a summer resort hote
in the interior of Michigan publishes in tn
| Clipper an advertisement which enumerate
the following advantages of his place:
This hotel was built and arranged for tn
| special comfort and convenience of the trav
cling public.
On arrival, each guest will be asked how
he likes the situation, and if he says the hote
ought to have been placed further from TIT
depot and nearer the business part of thu
town, the location will be Immediate,
changed.
Corner front rooms, up only one flight
for each guest.
Bath, gas, water-closet, hot and cold wa.
ter, laundry, telegraph, fire alarm, restau-
rant, bar room, billiard tables, daily papers
coupe, sewing machine, grand piano, cler-
in every room.
Meals every minute if desired, and conse-
quently no second table.
English, French and German dictionaries
furnished every guest, to make up such a
bill of fare as he may desire, without regard
to bill of fare afterwards at the Office.
Walters of any nationality and color. Ev-
cry waiter furnished with libretto, button
hole bouquets, full dress suits, bali tablets
and the hair parted in the middle.
Every guest will have the best seat in the
dining hall and the very best waiter in the
house.
Any guest not getting his breakfast red
hot, or experiencing delay of sixteen SEQ
onds after giving his order for dinner, will
please mention the fact at the managers
office, and cooks and walters will be flown
from the mouth of the cannon in front of
the door at once.
Children will be welcomed with delight,
and are requested to bring hoop-sticks and
hawkeyes to bang the carved rosewood furni
ture especially provided for that purpose,
and peg tops to spin on the velvet carpets.
They will be allowed to bang on the piano at
all hours, fall down stairs, carry away dessert
enough for small family in their pockets
at dinner, and make themselves as disagree
able as the fondest mother can desire.
Washing allowed in rooms. Ladies giving
an order to."put me on a flat-iron' will be
put on at any hour of the day or night.
A discreet waiter, who belongs to the Ma
SONS. Odd Fellows, Sons of Malta, knights
of Pythias, K. o. Ms and NJ. D. RS, and
who was never known to tell the truth or the
time of day, has been employed to carry
milk punches and hot toddies to the ladies'
rooms in the evening.
The Office clerk has been selected to please
everybody, and can lead in prayer, play draw
poker, match worsteds at the village store,
shake for the drinks at any hour of the day or
night, play billiards, good Walter, can
dance the German, make fourth at eucher,
amuse the children, repsat the Beecher trial
from memory, is good judge of horses, as
a railroad or steamboat reference is far su-
uerior to Appleton's or anybody else's guide,
will fiirt with any young lady and not mind
being cut to death when ''pa comes down.
don't mind being damned any more than a
Connecticut river; can room forty people in
the best room in the house when the house
is full, attend the annunciator, and answer
questions in Greek, Hebrew, Irish, Choctaw
or any other polite language, at the same
moment, without turning hair.
Dogs allowed in any room in the house,
including the whine room. Gentlemen
can drink, smoke, swear, chew, gamble, tell
shady stories, stare at the new arrivals, or
indulge in any other innocent amusement
common to watering places, in any part of
the hotel.
The landlord will always be happy to hear
that some other hotel is the best house in
the country.
Special attention given to parties who can
give information AZ to show these things are
donein Yewrup."