The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1879-12-02

Rsminiscssces q sosthsrn Pulyos
Eloauenoe-Bibee History SUM
mariSed
By 81. II. B.

By II. II. b.
In the autumn Ut 1880 I attended
q Methodist camr meeting in the in
terror Of Georgia, and heard . sermon
which / have never been able to for
get O. describe. At ~ earnest 30
licitation of friends, / have attempted
several times to write it. But it can
not be pat On paper. The main force
of it was the snufiaing and splitting aud
Rroaning and hound after . fox sort
Of yelp and whine, to which no pen
can do justice. It must b ;nsoned to
b appreciated. Ihave preached it .
thousand TINES for the amusement Of
friends, and have been Satisfied with
my effort. / have used il - remedial
agent in exercising the demons BY
hypochondria, and have never failed
Ito send them down q steep place in
the sea," or somewhere else, to the
great relief of the sufferer.
The speaker had just been licensed,
and it wss his first sermon. In per-
son he was small. bullet headed. of q
fair, sandy complexion, and his coun.
tenauce was indicative of sincerity and
honesty.
His remarks evinced great rever-
ence for the works of God a. mani
tested in zoology ard natural history,
and "was taking up the Bible in regu-
lar order for the FIRST time in his lite. "
He had gotten as far as the history Of
Noah, the ark, the food, etc. Beeides,
lust before bis conversion be had
been reading Goldsmith's Animated
Mater and the two together, BY the
aid and assistance of the Spirit, had
led him into a powerful train of think
ing Is be stood at his workbench day
in and day out"
But whatever his sermon my have
been, it was his own. The text was
"As it was in the days of Noah. 80
shall the coming Of the son Of man
BE-" After commenting upon that
portion Of Genesis descriptive of the
Aood. he warmed up" suddenly, and
broke out in the following strains:
Eyes, my brsthern, the heavens of
the windows was opened-ah. and the
floods of the great deep kivered the
waters-ah; and there was Shem, and
there Was Ham, and IVES there Japheth-
ah, all a-gwIne into the ark-ah.
'And there was the elephant-ah,
that g-r eat animal-ah, of which Gold
smith describes 10 his Animated
Nater'-ah what is IS big as a house
oh. and his bones - big Is tree.ah,
somewhat on the size Of the
tree-ah, all a-gwine into the ark-ah.
And the heavens of the windows was
opeued-ah. and the foods of tho
great deep kivered the waters ah !;
and there was Shem. and there was
Ham, and there was Jspheth-ah, all
a-gwine into de ark-ah.
"And there Vas the hippoptamus-ah
that great animal-sh, Of which Gold
smith describes in his Animated
Natur ali, what has . great horn.
ah, . sticking right up out of his
forward-sh, six feet long, more or
lessah, depending somewhat on the
length of it-ah, all a-gwine into the
ark-ah.
"And there was the giraffe ah. my
brethern-ah, that III contrived reptile
of which Goldsmith describes in his
Animated Nater'-ah, whose forelegs
is twenty-five feet long-ah, more or
less-ah, depending somewhat on the
length Of 'em-ah, and q neck 90 long
be could eat hay OF the top of q barn.
oh. depending somewhat on the heighth
OF the barn-ah, a-l-l-a-gwine into the
ark-ah. And the heavens of the
windows was opened-ah, and the floods
Of the great deep kivered the watsrs-
ah; and there was Shem, and there
was Ham. and there was Japheth-an,
s-l-l-a-gwine into the ark-ah.
"And there was the zebra-ah, my
bretheren-ah, that b-e-a-u-t-i.Eu-l ami
NAL of which Goldsmith describes in
his Animated Nater-ah, what has
300 stripes . runnin' right straight
around bis body-ah, mole or less-ah,
depending somewhat on the number Of
stripes ah, and nary two stripes alike
ah, all a-gwine into the srk-ah.
"And there Vas the anaconder-ah,
that great sarpint Of which Gold
smith describes in his Animated
Nater-ah, what can swallow six oxens
At . meal-ah. provided bis appetite
don't call for less-ah, all a-gwins into
the ark-ah. And the heavens of the
windows was opened-ah, and the floods
of the great deep kivered the waters
ah; and there was Shem, and there
Vas Ham, and there Wa Japheth-ah,
all a-gwine into the ark-ah.
"And there Was the lion-ah,
bretheren-ah. what 10 the king Of
beasts-ah. accordin' to Scripser-ah,
and who as st. Paul ssys-ah, provs
around of . night like q roarin devil.
ah. seekin' if he can't catch como.
bodyah, all agwiue into the srk-ah.
"And there was the antelopeah,
my bretheren-ah. that frisky little
of which Goldsmith dea-
critics in his Animated Mater oh,
what can jump twenty-five foot
straight up-ah, and twice that distances
down-ah, provided biz legs will take
him that far-ah. all a7evioe into the
ark-ah. And the heavens of the
windows Was opened-ah. and The
foods Of the great deep kivered the
waterfall. and there VA Shem, and
there was Ham, and there was
Japheth-ah, all a-gwine in the ark
lh."
Just at this point be stopped speak.
ing . few moments. wiped his fore
head, turned back hi vristbands,
nan his fingers through his hair. spit
md rubbed his boot in it, drank Q
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