Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1879-03-10
A Model Wife.


Cincinnati TINES.
whsn the peddler rang Mr.. Birds
door. bell the other day. Mr.. Bird him
self opened the door. Mr.. Bird had the
baby In his arms. and there were four
other children ct his heels.
els the lady Of the house IN :" asked
the psddler. -.
"C~ertainly she isn't" replied Bird.
"sho's out. She 10 perennially and
stsrnally out Il"
Where can I see her 7
"why. 60 down to tho woman sui.
frage club.room; and II she isn't there.
90 to the society for the prevention oil
cruelty to animals; and II she isn't
there. visit the hall OF the association
for sllsvisting the missriss Of the Ssns.
gambians; and II she has finished up
there, look for her at the church aid
society, or at the Einth.ward soup
house, or the home OF the o~ne-lsggsd, OF
at the refuge for inirm dogs, or OF the
hospital for the asthmstio, OF at the 81.
Polycarp Orphan Asylum. or ct soms
Of those places. II you get on her track.
you'll see moro paupers and strong
minded women and undsrclothing for
the heather than you ever saw in the
whole course Of your life."
81 wanted 10 sell her q cold.handled
flatiron. just out. Do you think she
will buy one 2"
"Shs will II you oan prove that the
naked cannibals In Senegambia are
yearning for the ~cold.handed fatirons.
She would buy diamond breast.pins for
those nisgers, II they wanted them, I
believe"
81 intended. also. to offer her Q new
kind Of immovable hair-pin. which"
IAN right. You just 60 down 10 the
Homo for the 0ne.lsegsd and penuads
those cripples to cry for immovsbls hair
pins. and she'll order 'sm by the ton"
"Has she any children 7"
"well. I'm the q that appears 10
have EN-; just now. anyhow"
Because I have Q gum.top for Q
feeding.bottle that Is the incest thing
you ever saw"
SNOW" said Mr.. Bird. "Irl tell you
what you do. You got those paupers 10
swear that they can't eat the soup they
get at the soup-houss with spoons, they
must have II from bottles with q rubber
muzzls, and Mrs. Bird will keep you 30
busy supplying the demand that you
won't have o chance 10 sleep. You just
try II. Buy up the paupsrsi Bride
en-"
"Howll I know her II I see her :"
"Why, she's q large oma with q
bent nose. and she talks all the time.
You'll hear her talking al loon a. you
get within q mile OF her. She'll ask you
to subscribe TO the S~snegambian fund
and to the Asthmatio Asylum before you
can got your breath. Probably she'll
read you four or Ave letters from re-
formed oannibals. But don't you mind
'em. My opinion Ii she wrote 'sm her.
self. II don't make any difference, but
You might mention that since she left
home the baby has had four Ats. Johnny
has fallen out Of the pear tree and crack.
cd his skull. Mary and jim both have
something like Group. and Tommy has
been bitten by Jones' dog. 1t won't
excite her. She won't care . cent; but
I'd like her to have the latest news.
Tell her II she q manage to drop In
here for Q minute between now and the
9Th Of July. she might maybe wash the
baby aud give the other children 0
chance to remember how she looks. But
she needn't come II II will interfere with
the happiness Of the one-lsgged msndi.
cants. or make her ssthmatic patients
miserable. Mind and mention II TO her
now, will your"
81 will"
"Ail right. then I'll 60 In and put
some fresh sticking plaster on Johnny's
skull"
And with baby singing o vociisrous
solo. and other children clinging to bis
legs, Mr.. Bird retreatsd and shut the
door. The peddler had determined to
propose to q girl that night. lie changed
his mind, and resolved to remain .
hanhalnr