The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-07-16
THE SUFFERENs OF NATHAN
SPOONER.
by JOSIAH ALIENS WIFE.

Saws /, Josiah Allen, If there wus
S heavy fine to pay for shettin' uT
doors, you would never loose q cent
of your property in that way, and,
says l, clutchin' my lap full OF carpet
rags with firmer grip, for truly,
|, they were hutterin' like banners in
. the cold breeze, "if you don't want
It me to blow away, Josiah Allen, shut
up that door,
R "0h, shaw Samantha, you won't
, blew away, you are too hefIy. 1t
n would take o Hurrycane and Si.
mon, too, to tackle you. and lift
you"
/. "Simon Who gn says /, in cold AK
ents, caused partly by my frigid emo
tions, and partly by the chilly blast,
; and partly by his DARN to say any
man could take me up and carry me
way.
"Ohl the Simon they have on the
desert; Eve hern Thomas j. read
about 'em. They'll blow camels away,
and everything"
Says / dreamily, Who'd have
tho't venty years ago, to have heard
, that nian a-courtin' me, and eallin'
me zepbire. and pink posy, and a
angel, tb-. he'd ever live too the day
he'd call me a camel"
Il han't called you a camel |
only meant that you wus hefty, and
camels was hefty. And ii would take
Simon or two to lift you round,
either on you"
WALL" says |, 10 frigid tones.
what | want to know is, are you
a-goin' TO shet tnat door ?'
"Yes, | be, ilst as quick as ! change
my clothes. don't want to fodder
in these new briches."
| rose with dignity. or as much
dignity as | could lag holt of-half
bent, trying 10 keep ten or twelve
quarts OF carpet rags from spillin'
over the tloor-and went ana shet
the door myself, which | might have
known enough 70 done in the first
place, and saved time and breath.
For sheltin' CT doors is truly ac-
complishment that Josiah Allen never
will master
| have touched him up In lots of
things, sense we wus married, but in
that branch of education be has been
too much for ne; | have about gin
up.
In the course Of ten or fifteen min
uts, Josiah came out Of the bedroom,
lookin' as peaceful and pleasant as
you may please, with his hands in
his pantaloon pockets, seaIchin' their
remote depths, and says he, in of
hand, careless way:
am be hanged if there ain'i q let
ter for you, Samantha
How many weeks have you car
ried i; round, Josiah Allen :" SAYS |. |
at would scare me if vou should
give me 4 letter befSre you carried IL !
round in your pocket for a month or
so.''
"0h! | guess | only got this two
or three days ago. | meant TO hand
it to you three days ago. But |
hain't had on these old briches sense
that day | went to mill"
Three weeks ago, to-day" says /,
in almost frenzy axents, as | opened /
nv letter
WALL" says Josiah, cbeerfully, /
Il knew il wasn't very long, any,
way"
glanced my gray eye down my
letter, and says !, in agitated tones :
"She that wus Alzina Ann Allen
is comm here a visitin' She wrote
me three weeks ahead, SOS to have
me prepared. And here she is liable
to come in on Us snv minute, now,
aud ketch US all unprepared,' says L
Il wouldn't have had il happened
for q ten cent bill. 10 had one of the
relations, on your side, come an ketch
me in such condition Then, the
curtains are all down in the spare
room | washed 'em Yesterday, and
they hain't ironed Aud the carpet
in the settin' room up TO mend and
not a mite Of fruit cake in the house,
an she a-comin' here today. am
mortified mcst TO death, Josiah Allen.
And if you'd give me that letter,
should have hired help, aud got eve-
thing done | should think your
conscience would smart like burn,
if you have got conscience, Josiah
Allen"
"Wall, less have q little suthin' 10
eat, Samantha, and I'll help you
round"
Help whatll you do, josiah
Allen ?"
"Oh. I'll do the barn chores, and
help sll ! can. | guess you'd better
cook little of that canned ssmmon
| got to Joaesville"
Saws /, eoldly, II believe, Josiah I
Allen, if you was on the gaIlus. you'd :
make 'em stop and get vittles for you,
meat vittles if you could"
| didn't say nothin more, for, as
the greatest poets has sung, The :
least said, the soonest mended" But
rose, and with outward calmness, q
put on the tes kettle snd potatoes.
sud opened the can Of ssmmon, and s
list as | gu, that over the stove with
some sweet cream and butter, if
ycu viii believe it, that very min .
u:e, she that was Alzins Ann Allen .
drove right up 70 the door, and come .
in.
You could have knocked me down 2
with q hens feather, (ss it were) my \
feelin's wus such; but | conseeied i
EN- as well as | could, aud advanced ?
to the door, and says L:
How do you do, Miss Ricberson;"
she Is married 10 Jonathan Rich Q
srson, old Daniel Richerson's Oldest o
bov.
She is a tall, spindlin' lookin' wo- Fl
man, hgh. complicated, sandy-haired, e
and with big. light blue eyes ] 6
hadn't seen her fer nineteen yeers. =
bat ste seemed dreadful ,iekled to
see ne, aad says she: 4
-You lock younger, SAman,hs. b
thar yen cid the FIRST time | ever 1
seen you ,
Oh, 10 y says |, SHAT can't be, b
Alzina Ann, for that is in tie neigh
borhood OF thirty years ago d
Saws she, 1T Is true as l live and /
h-aa.ba 70, iool xounvs- srd !