The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1879-11-05

retired To talk over business matter IL
yolving the transfer Of two hundred thous-
and mul es, and the other three sat down
andtried to see who could repeat the most
paragraphs from the constitution Of the
United States.
"Know all men" began the Harvard pro-
fessor, as he rolled his eyes to heaven
'know all men that
He stopped right there and took luich
over char and jammed his head against a
locker. thought the boat had struck a
rock and VS. trying to remember the two
or three million crimes have been guilty
| of, when she took roll the other way and
brought the professor over on our side Of
the cabin. 1t annoyed me to see him come
end over end, his plug hat jammed down
over his eyes and his chin shaking at the
rate Of 400 revolutions per minute. A man
can be gentleman on Lake Michigan as
well as anywhere else. When the boat
stcadied little pricd his hat off his head
and advised him 10 60 aft and troll for
pickerel over the stern of the boat never
saw man in all my life more ready to
accept a comparative strangers advice.
He had a lemon in each hand, and the expires
sion of his face would have made n fine
painting to hang IN n slaughtcr.house to
soften the hearts of butchers.
The lawyer from Toledo and myself now
held the cabin alone. We didn't always
stick together. Sometimes he held one
side and ! the other, and again we crawlcd
over each other in the centre and went
down Tor more lemons. am perfectly sat
isted that the boat could have got along
without half the fuss, but she wouldn't do
it. She was full of experiments. She tried
to see how far she could stand on end, and
how far she could roll over, and how near
she could stick her nose TO the bottom, and
we had to follow her motions. The brutal
ity of the captain was outrageous, He
opened the cabin door just as We pitched
over chair and tangled in hard knot and
asked if we didn't want a checker board to
pass away the time, lie came again as we
were iammed under the table and asked Us
to @ on deck and see the islands. Once
more, as the lawyer hung to the door-kneb
and hung to his coat.tail that uniceling
mar looked in and offered us the run Of the
cngnc-room,
Lemons, my friend, are a fraud, Pep
pcrmint essence is a dclusion. Brandy and
sugar won't have the least effect on wind
or wave. When it became evident that the
boat must 20 down, We tried to be reckless.
The lawyer kicked my sa;chel across the
cabin, and kicked his plug hat after il
and threw his $40 fishing rod overload,
While we sang, "iIo, Bob Ridley, in sweet
chorus dashed him TO a post with shawl
strap. lashcd our right legs together with &
second. and then We went in 10 stare fate
in the face The lawyer shouted for the
boat 10 stop and let him of, and | seconed
the motion. Then yelled ont for her to
90 TO the bottom and be hanged, and he
declared the question adopted, felt sick
from the heels ofmy boots 10 the top ot my I.
hat. The bare thought OF sitting down to |
q champagne supper with the Marquis OF |
LOTne utterly Overcame me. ] remembered /
the watermelons had eaten and the grapes |
| had devourcd, and ! gradually grew .
limpsy and oh how wished that some.
body would tie me in knot and fling the |
knot INTO small corner. If ! had owned /
the whole country Id have sold her for a /.
cent and thrown the lawyer in TO boot. |
The last remember washoping that AZ the !
boat went down could Get hold of;he cap.
tain and hit him once behind the ear, and
when | opened my eyes again We were az
Petoskey. They carried and pulled and
dragged Ms ashore. and as we lay around on
the lumber like 50 many ghosts, the cap
tain had the msnnessto call out to afriend ,
in reply;
Never had smoother trip down in my
life. inst wish We could have bit OF a
sea some day, 50 as 70 see how the boat
would behave"
We all reached for our rcyolvers g, one
hut alas We had not strength
enough to ann and pull the trigger-M
Quad.