The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1879-06-21
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.
70 he looked into-a telescope.


without pocket in it.
An Amsterdam newspaper speaks OF man
who was fatally injured while attempting to COM
mit suicide.
In Philadelphia six carriages are considered
sufficient for wealthy PERSONS funeral, but poor
people require more.
The Ohio republicans, in convention assembled
resojycd that fhe "mad career" of the dcmocra-
cy must be arrested Policc,-Elin Lco''e'
Ti,dep and Even will constitute the next Pre-
sidential ticket j Even carries Ohio.-horr'S
Herald
Who in thunder is Even"
The circuses have show at last. \ Brooklyn
naper. announcing that Talmage has goac to
rurope for three months, joyfully cXclalms,
Now come along with your circuscs."
You may talk absut communists, but the per
son who chiefly desires that the ruler be done
away with is the schcolboy
The Injurious effects Of "forty.rod whiskey" We
presume are attributable 10 the fact that forty
rods make one rude.
II cannot be too generally known that if man
spends his money like water, he is certain sooner
or later TO get into liquidation
4 western editor alluded TO his rival as "a fell
torn foon'
Men who fraudulently count votes are like the
I'D b-gs, because they may-nip-you-latc at night
49, Boston POST
"Iyotc the way shot cNcaimeda stalwart
ohio patriot making a speech for Foster. 1T was
found on investigation that when the war broke
out he had shot for Canada.
A Chicago paper tells OF a poor man who went
to Leadville and took out SIG, $40 in five weeks.
He did it all alone, and his only tools were pack
Of cards and a seyenshooter.
There is Il very little difference between Il
man who sees ghost and one who swallows Il
bad oyster as far as looks are concerned
The Chicago Tr'bone give. directions to enable
persons to ",cc the wind" But what most per
sons want to know j. how g raise The wind
Eve was the first and We reckon the only wo-
man who did not gather up her dress in both
hands and yell at the sight of a snake.
To rid your potato vines Of bugs-sprinklc the
vines with a solution OF coppcras and it will kill
them instantly-that is, the vines.
Archery is TO be fashionable among the ladies,
and very properly; every young lady should
know how to manage her beau.
Woman is a deusion," said a crusty old bach
elOr in our sanctum recently. Snodgrass retort.
ed: well, man Is always hugging some dclu-
sion or other. '-UdA.
A rural correspondent rails at huggng bees in
his neighberhood. Let the girls come to town
they needn't stay in the country TO get Rugged
not by any means
There is AN insect called the tick, but the bed
tick is not an insect, and should not be conound-
ed with the bug.
1t is always the biz fellows that get TO the
front IN II crowd, Look 1.-THE strawberry box for
instance; the little ones are always at the bot.
tom.
My soul is 1T the gate" sang a screnader.
so is mine" said the old man, as his boot sole
beat time on the rear Of the fugitive, panic.srick-
en- vocalist,
Boston court has decided that if a woman
lends money 10 her husband she cannot get it
back The decision will not De new to many
wives.
have We statesman among us?-Ind,l1h,i,at
htcktang.
Yes, SIR! But we're rather busy Just now, and
will not consent TO serve the country in any ca
pacity. -Ph1Tir.
There il no mock humility about Washington
bellies. One of them being asked the other day
whether there were many beautiful women in
Washington, tnnocen,y replied, 80 no; there
are only six Of US left"
An editor has one advantage over u king.
When an editor goes out riding in his opcn ba.
rUuche, drawn by four milk white stecds, he is
never shot at by Socialist You have probably
remarked this yourself
The Ohio campaign ha, already developed its
poet
Ewing and Rice fought IN The war,
Each was a gallant trooper;
ANA now they II 20 for Fosters scalp,
hnd that OF liickcnlOOpcr
blthop Haven has been To Texas, and bcin.
asked abont the country said: II think Texas is
best described by saying currcntthcrc 4 hus.
band, sitting at his fire, says To his wife Wife,
reckon III go TO prayer meeting. Bring me
ny revolver
Inc Albany irgas gives Bancs war record
thus; He enlisted in the army on April TO- 1863
the day after Lee surrendered, and he has been
10 active service ever since" But it don't make
huch difference 10 which one Of the stalwart he.
foes IN congress this ia applied; it fits them all.
Dan Tucker is baiti in La Sale circuit court
we should think he was old enough 10 be laid
~. we used to sing Of that chap years and
years agO.-RorGtS IiW
That's probably what Killed Lin. ANYHOW
our Dan is not that chap
The paradise Of the woman's rights zealots
must be Australia. Melbourne letter SAWS.
women III Australia perform the duties of
prlcLlayers ana laborers, and may be seen carry
,ng hods OF mortar and baskets Of brick nm hiGb
ladders. More than this they actually SIM.
ply the place Of nayvies, and dig and wheel har
rows OF ballast almost as nimbly as their Lord
ihey chop wood, they carry water, they offer To-
piach your oOots IN the street, and perform MANY
other little offices, which, according 10 our M.
tons scarcely come under the denomination of Of
''womcns work. VI
-tHHERInlL