Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1879-04-30
Too Late for Roger Mcpherson

Mhi n l"aih was recently III II Nlnner oil
the Stanley club in Paris, and, being call
ell upon for II speech. is thus reported BY
the Continental Gazette mir Ryan said
to me just now Id got to make speech
| said to Mr. Ryan. The news came too
late to save Roger McPherson.' 1t is sad
o know that some things always come
TOO late, and when | look around upon
this brilliant assembly l feel disappointed
To think what IL nice speech might have
found in Paris, the tow ers of Notre Dame,
the caves, and the other ancient things.
Then | might have said something about
the objects of which Paris folks are fond
literature, art, medicine Then taking IL
card from his vest pocket rs if to take II
glance at his notes and adultery. Bul
The news come too late to save Roger
Mcpherson! Perhaps you are not rs well
acquainted with Mcpherson us | am?
Well, I'll explain who Mcpherson was
When we sailed from New York there
came on board man all haggard-a mere
skeleton. He wasn't much Of IL man, he
wasn't, and on the voyage we often heard
him say to himself The news came toe
late to save Roger McPhrrson.' | got
interested.;tnd | wanted to know about the
iliftl, 81 L tShGh lllu WIO WIS NlCI IltISOn,
and he said, I'm Mcpherson; but the
news came too late to save Roger McPher.
SON. How too late?' / asked. About
three weeks too late, he replied; IN
tell you how it happened: A friend of
mine died, and they told me that must
take his body on the cars to his parents in
illinois. | said I'd do it, and they gave
me card with the address, and told me
to 90 down TO the depot and put it on II
box I'd find there, have the box put on
the baggage Car, and 60 right along with
it to Illinois. l found the box ali right
and nailed the card on, and put it on the
cars; then went into the depot and got II
sandwich. was walking around, eating
my sandwich, and | passed through the
baggage room, and there was my box,
with Young man walking around looking
ut it. and he had card in his hand.
felt like gong up to that young man and
saying. Stranger, that's my corpse But
didn't. | walked on. ate my sandwich.
and when | looked in again the yonng
man was gone; but there was that card
nailed right on that box. | went and
looked on that card. 1t was directed to
Col. Jenkins, Cleveland, Ohio. So
lOOhtu Ill luC ttIu lutlt WAS DOX
all right. Just before the train started Il
man came into the baggage Car and laid
lot of imburger cheese down on my box,
you know, and didn't know what was in
this paper, but found out later. 1t was
an awful cold night, and after we started
the baggage master came in. He was IL
nice fellow, johnson was, and he said, A
man would freeze TO death out there; Il III
make it all right So he shut all the
doors and all the windows, built IL rousing
coal fire in the stove; then he took turns
in fixing the Car and poking the fire, till
began to smell something and feel un-
comfortable. SO l moved so far away from
my corpse us l could, as johnson says to
me, A friend of yourso Did he die lately ?
This year | mean Says l, I'm fix it;
so opened window, and we took turns
breathing the fresh air. After while
johnson said, Let's smoke; think that'll
fix it, So we lit our cigars and puffed n
bit, but we got SO sick that we let 'em 90
out again-it didn't do any good. We
tried the air again. Says johnson, He's
in no trance, is hep There's doubt
about some people being dead. but there S
no doubt about him, is there? What did
he die OFF We stopped at a station and
when we started off again johnson came
in with bottle of disinfector, and SAYS.
I've got something now that II fix it, So
he sprinkled it all around, over the box,
the limburger, and over everything; but
it wouldn't do, the smell didn't mix well
Johnson said, just think of it. We've
all got to die, all got to come to this
Then we thought we'd move the box to
one end of the Car, so we stopped over ii
| took one end and he took the other, but
we couldn't get it far. johnson says,
Wen freeze to death if we stay OUT on
the platform; wen die if we stay in
here So we took hold of it again; but
johnson, he couldn't stand it, he fell right
over. dragged him out on the platform,
and the cold air soon brought him to, and
we went in the car to get warm. What
are we going to dop' asked johnson, and
he looked ill. I'VE are sure to have the
typhoid fever and half dozen other
fevers. We're pizened, we arer At last
we thought it WAS better TO go out on the
platform. In an hour and half was
taken off that platform stiff. nearly frozen
to death. They put me to bed. and had
all them fevers that johnson spoke about.
You see the thing worked on my mind. 1t
didn't do me any good to learn, three
weeks after, that there had been p mistake
THAT my corpse had gone to Col. Jen.
kins, Cleveland, and that had taken his
box of rifles for decent burial to Illinois
The news came too late to save Roger
McPherson-about three weeks too late. '
Amid roars of applause, Mr.. Twain closed
by saying: "When I'm not prepared tc