Daily globe., 1879-04-24
GLOBELETS.
The earlv cucumber hits below the belt.

Ihe coming man-Ine man Win the straw
lat.
Prince Napoleon's war cry-"Up guards, and
:un for your ives.'
What is the czar making all this fuss about?
Nihilism is nothing.
Spring, bright, beautiful balmy spr-but
1t may snow tomorrow.
The French soldier is to have gray trowsers
instead of red, hereafter.
A St. Louis man ran six blocks after his nose
thinking be was going to a fire.
A Cortland, N. Y, man, who ate IT'S clans
is called "a living instance of gulosity.''
"Grant is his own bar'l," says the Atlantic
Constitution. And he keeps himself full.
A new reading for an old proverb: ga Miss
is good for 5000 quarter miles''-Boston
Tines.
Ohio must look to her laurels. It was an In
diana man ate two dozen boiled goose eggs in
thirty minutes.
Several Western towns have been named
'Tilden," and Mr.. Tilden evidently is to be
our next President.
The czar must follow the example of Eng
land and order lot of American mules 20 kick
the Nihilists to death.
It is to be regretted that the widow didn't
win her case. If Simon had married her she
wouldn't have lectured.
Mr.. Hayes amability is accounted for by
the proverb: "People who live in white houses
shouldn't throw stones"
Boyton, after finishing his trip down the
Mississippi river, will make voyage down the
St. Lawrence and will try to shoot it's rapids.
England has sent to America for military
talent to prosecute the South African war. We
have just shipped her 500 of our most intel
lectual mules.
Wagner, the composer, has become hopelessly
insane. He was always considered an eccentric
Individual, but probably it was incipient mad
ness all the time.
Widow Oliver is not success as lecturer.
Doubtless her dress is too high at the top
and too low at the bottom. She shet9d become
a burlesque actress.
| Opium smoking finds little liberation in ia
pan. A man was recently sentenced to ten
years hard labor in Yokohama for violation of
the law against the practice.
! A splendid national theater, to be erected re-
gardless of expense, is projected in London,
after the idea Of the Grand Opera House in
Paris, which cost about $15, 100000
Orvil Grant has abandoned his project of
starting restaurant at San Francisco. He is
afraid the dead-beats who are going out there
to meet his big brother would ruin him.
A paper has been started called the Hand
he,chiet. There is great deal of blow about
, it, and the editor nose thing or two. and is
mo- To ha za6 ar
Twelve paper making establishments in
, England have become bankrupt slice last De-
cember. Scarcely any American paper fac
tories have been reported insolvent within that
period.
Watertown, N. Y, has definitely settled the
r tramp question by locking up the almshouse
and issuing mandate to arrest every member
of the travelling pests that frcquents the
s village.
: Brown wrote to his father in the country
= ), that no one could live decently in Boston for
a less than So "a day. The old man replied that
n if decency was selling so dear, he'd better
}, come home.
:, paragraph to the effect that a man near
: Frankfort, KY, was killed by falling into a
u well, the other day, is extremely astonishing.
Who ever heard Of a Kentucky man being with.
= in a mile of well?
y "Is thy servant dog that he should do this
# thing was the impertinent suggestion put
{, in the Presidents mouth by Blaine. 'Throw
q physic to the dogs. I'll none of it, would b.
st the appropriate reply.
- ''We going out with the tied,' said
~ young man to friend, as he filed down tn,
:. aisle after a wedding. "In that CASE, said
- lady in front, ''you can afford to get off m,
a. train" And he did.
ii The works at the Strasburg Cathedral, which
~ had been suspended during the winter, have re
in Gently been resumed, and being pushe
n, forward with great vigor, with view to thei
Or completion during the present year.
~ It is once more made apparent that the Re
~ publican party is not an easy victim of eithe
q the bully or the bulldozer.-Ne,o York TIL
IN bAae. Probably he finds it tedious huntin
ID around for enough of it to be wo,th noticing.
be Gen. Francis Marion's one hundred and forty
-. seventh birthday anniversary celebrated i
ae Charleston on Tuesday by banquet, at whic
10 the traditional basket Of roasted sweet potatoe
~ ~ "a cork popping for every potato) was mad
-. away with.
ed ard and evangelist, who ran away from Gotl
ch am the other day. leaving Mrs. Dwyer in IL
n lurch and taking one Mrs. Melville in tow, b.
g turned up in Montreal, where he preached G
III III Wednesday.
~ The High School Gazette, edited in August
he Ga, by young ladies of the school, say
w. "Owing to a press of poetry, a number of a.
cd vertisements are unavoidably crowded out
,es this issue, but they will positively appear
nd our next
ne Philadelphia detective named Roderie
y, VI is convinced that Charley Ross is alive a,
u1 ,n1 living with family in the mountains of We
Virginia another Ross Months, as it wer.
he If this theory is exploded what will Roderit
On Dhu?- Utica Observer.
is Among the Zulus, nation of the Caffre
,he according to etiquette, the mother-in-law ca
'ed not face the son-in-law, but must hide, or p,
'eo tend to hide, when she sees him. In th
en country the custom is reversed. It is the SO
NJ in-law who does the lodging.
an The peanut crop this year is estimated
ird 100000 bushels. Will some one of our rea
ers, who is good at mathematics, estimate f
us how long 1t will take the young men Of IL
' country to exhaust this crop if they carry
pint of peanuts in their pockets every ti1
lgo they go to see their irls?-Norristosyn Heya
An old joke in a new role: "Chawles." la
- guidly drawled Josephine, looking up from /
~ book, II see one of the studies at West Poi
70 is trigonometry. What is trigonometry, ar
hit how?' ''Trigonometry," replied Charl
re- toying with an invalid mustache. sis "a
uld the science of pulling the trigger of course