The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-01-08

| undrum. The dream of our life has beesi
1 to be rich enough to put on a clean shirt
every day, and to have two suits 81
clothes, with pair OF suspenders to each
pair of pants. But it has never been
| realized, Elfrida. Castles In the air. 80
Keohus Constitution. {. N
70 some pungent remarks Ola profes-
sional brother, d Western lawyer began
his reply as follows 81 May it please this
/ court: Resting upon the couch OF repub-
| lican equality as I do, covered with the
blanket Of constitutional panoply as Lam
and protected by the agis OF American
liberty as | feel myself to be, despise
| the buzzing Of the professional insect
who has just set Gown, and defy his fu-
| tile attempts to penetrate, with his puny
| sting, the insterstices Of my imperyious
covering
| One night last week, At o party in To
ronto, a young man was frightening
some OF the young ladies by daring *
hibition of a revolver, when the weapon
| was accidently discharged, the bullet
/ entering the young mans side, inaicting
@ serious wound. We have said a great
many harsh things about these young
| men whose reVolvers contain more than
! their heads, bnt we retract everything
now, AT last d revolver has been found
that knows which man to shoot. May
his tribe increase..-B Burlington Haaokeye.
! A Methodist parson, called to preach
at an out-ot- the-way town in California,
was informed before entering the pulpit
that he must be careful, as many of the
! Ia ktrn,, his !;
and would not hesitate TO disturb him if
his remarks didn't suit. The holy man
made no reply, but having reached the
desk he took from his pocket two revolv-
ers and placing one on each side Of tine
Bible gave sharp glance around the
room and said, lie: us pray" a. more
orderly service was never conducted.
The Montreal papers report that the
mysterious lights which have been motto
ed on the lower st. Lawrence River and
on the Gulf for century have been I'M
usually brilliant this year. Blue and
yellow flames are seen about midnight, as
Of q ship on fire, but, as they are ap~
preached, they fit farther away, and dis,
appear in the morning mist. Old sailors
have observed that their unusual bIillian-
cy always betokens heavy fall and winter
gales, and October has certainly confirmed
their expectations, whatever winter may
40. |"5" 49,
q young man drove into Nenja, Ohio,
the other day with some friends, to meet
a train. Arriving at the depot, a freight
train was standing On the side track, and
the countryman, not seeing any convent
ent place to tie up, deliberately hitched
his horse to the rear car of the freight,
and proceeded to promenade the walks
around the depot while waiting For his
train. What was his surprise when he
saw his hitching post pull out for Cinsin-
natl, with his horse and wagon bringing
up the rear in not the best Of order, It
would not be proper to record the re-
marks Of the young man On the subject
DR.. Thomson, taken for his text "Leok
not upon the wine when it is red in the
cup" enlarged upon evil effects Of drink
ing upon the head, heart, and purse. AS
the congregation departed, two old Gro
MES, given to taking more than g. wee
Trap, talked over the sermon.
"Did you hear yon, Johnie?" quoth one.
"Did ] hear't2 VIVA didna hearts T
ne'er winked an e'e.'
"a weel, an what thought We OK"
"Adeed, Davie, think he has been q
lad in his day, or he couldna ha ken'd SO
weel about it; he's been & sly hand, the
minister"
When a boy falls and peels the:skin of
his nose, the first thing he does is too get
up and howl. When IS girl tumbles and
hurts herself badly, her first movement is
to arise with more haste than grace, look
searchingly at her dress and saYagely at
some innocent young man standing on
ali opposite corner, and, as she shoots off
home mutter something about "the horrid
loafers;;" wholly unconscious that her hat
IS screwed around over her left ear, and
that two inches of fingers protrude
through her soiled kids. Not until she
reaches her dear mamma does she sob
like d baby with wind collie.
A well,to-do New Hampshire farmer is
possessed with such wonderful good tenn
per that he was never known to give
way to a fit Of anger. A short time since
two rogulsh lads resolved "to get the old
man mad" Accordingly they took lit
tie dog and followed him into the pasture
where he was going for his horse. The
boys concealed themselves: and every
time the old man was near enough to the
horse to bride him, they set on the dog,
and frightened him away. The process
was continued until the old man was ex-
hausted, when he sat down on a stone,
and poured forth his wrath in the follow
ing words: "W-e-e-l, wish that little
dog would go away" Fl. s.-..
The transcript tells story OF 81 Boston
minister, one who rresides over a large
and aourishing church at the South End,
and ''lends a hand" in all good enterpris-
es. He was to- preach in Providence,
spent the night before with a friend in a
village some miles distant, and walked to
Providence on Sunday morning. On his
way feeling hungry, he stopped at a
house by the wayside, rang the bell, and
asked the motherly looking woman who
came to the door if he could have glass
of milk and a slice of bread. s'Well," she
answered, II suppose you can, but it does
seem as though 8 big.Lstrong man like you
might earn his living by work, and not
beg for it," He has been very consider
ate Of tramps ever since.
a pleasant little anecdote of the Crown
Prince IF GeruaDv ia fold hv Mrc ETop