The Hawaiian gazette., 1879-07-23
DimcaIt,e..


DO understand, Mrs. Sloan" said the mag
istrate, 'that you made a charge Of infanucide
against your husbands"
We'll, not exactly that" replied Mrs. Sloan.
"You see, l."
'One minute-permit me 10 explain" excaim.
ed Mr.. Sloan. your honor the situation is
this: We have one baby year aud half old.
aud then we also have twins Just two months
old. Little eherubs, both OF them. Their
mothers turn-up nose, perhaps, but my eyes aud
my amiable expression
lis hair. too, your honor" said Mrs. Sloan,
Ibis hair-red.'
Before We were married. may it please the
court, said Mr.. Sloan. ''she was fond Of abiding
TO i. as auburn. But no matter She went
yesterday 10 q womau-sufsrsge convention.
stayed at home with the childreu-tbree of them
your honor have only two arms. When two
of the little folks cried, would set down ST.
lent one. aud carry those that screamed. Then
the one put down would begin. and I'd have to
pick him up and lay down another and then il
would scream. | tried to carry the odd one pig
u back. but It no use. he would slip down
and bump his nose on the floor. Imagine the
situation. 1t was hard. was nearly wild Only
two nursing bottles too. and the third baby yell
ling like u Crow Indian, while the twins were
feeding"
Couldn't he suck his thumb ?" asked the
magistrate
Mrs Sloan won't let him. She closed this
gate Of joy, so to speak. against her own of
spring! Absolutely prohibited the child from
sucking It's own thumb Nero 10 his worst
days. never went that far. imagine"
The historians forgot TO mention it if be did,"
said the justice.
Precisely. WE'LL | got along as well as |
could. when in comes boy with note from
Mrs. Sloan saying that Mrs. Gibbs. the vice
president of the convention. wanted..her baby out
OF the way while she was comforting with the SCI
lect committee on ways and means SO In comes
the sergeant-st-arms with Mrs. Gibbs baby for
me 10 take care of. That made four. Your
honor, if Mrs. Gibbs baby grows up and be-
comes missionary. he can preach to the heather
ia Africa without leaving home. He has voice
like log horn. So he turned in and cried, and
the other babies erie for sympathy"
at was hard" said the magistrate.
Hard ] Well, I'm accommodating man,
so put one twin in Que cradle aud rocked it
With my right foot, and | put the other in
another cradle aud rocked it with my left foot
then sat Gibbs baby on one knee. and Johnny
on the other. and by "a peculiar action of the
legs Kept all four in IN lton at once. You un-
derstand? Well, sir. just as calmness began to
prevail 10 comes the seTgeant-at-arms again with
the secretsry's baby. Said Mrs. Sloan had sen,
it while the secretary wrote up her minutes, and
wouldn't Iook alter it awhile 7"
Was it usleep I"
well, no. Now | don't want to exaggerate,
your honor. ] am under oath, aud shall try to
state the facts mildly. But am sadly mistaken
if you Couldn't blow church organ with the
secretary's baby's left lung 1t whooped and
haloed in such manner as to alarm me. Then
Gibbs baby Joined in, aud they gave us duet.
Pretty soon our three turned up for chorus.
and-well. suppose a whole orphan asylum should
suddenly have spssm of stomach-ache and you
can form some idea of the racket"
Couldn't you quiet them by singing to them 2"
mo, sir; you couldn't have heard a bass
drum IN that room"
hat did you do p
Il gave the family Bible to one twin and put
Websters Unabridged Dictionary on the lap of
the other, merely to play with. | thought I'd
go down stairs. and get some milk for the whole
crowd. did. When l came up, as had only
two nursing BOTTLES, emptied bottle Of hair
renovator, which Mrs. Sloan uses"
Il don't y exclaimed Mrs. Sloan.
And castor oil bottle. put the milk in
these and in an old paragOric bottle punctured
holes through the corks and handed them
around. When | came TO the twins, they had
the hible aBd the dictionary lying right on their
oosoms. aud they were blue in the face too
heavy, your honorl So had to pick them up.
and souse them couple of times in the bath
tub to bring Them to; aud when got back in
the room with them, ] found Gibbs baby 10
spasms from the taste of the hair restorer, and
the secretary's baby had swallowed the cork and
the other child looked as if the castoroil bottle
somehow had not agreed with it. minute
later in came Mrs. Sloan aud the secretary and
Mrs. Gibbs, and they hustled me out. don't
know what happened after that, but believe it,
was old Gibbs put Mrs. Sloan up to charging me
with murder"
"'fhe case is dismissed" said the justice. and
the Sloans withdraw. Mrs. Sloan has hired a
nurse.-Mdr Adeley. in Ne1c York Veekiv.