davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rocky Mountain husbandman. [volume] (Diamond City, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1879-01-23
HOW A MAJ GOES TO BED.

Speaking of how u man goes to bed, an
exchange says:
There's where a man has the advantage.
He can undress in a cold room and have his
bed warm before a woman has got her hair
pins cut and her shoes united"
That's how it looks IN print. and this is
how it is in reality: 81 AN going to bed,
my dear. It's half past ten." No reply.
Nov, John. you know you are always late
in the morning. Do get 10 bedn' "Yes,
in a minute he replies, as he turns the pa
per wrong side out and begins a lengthy
article headed stThe Louisiana Middle"
Fifteen minutes later she calls from the bed
room: "John, come to bed, and do not
keep the gas burning here all night and
mnrmuring something about 1.-THE bill being
big enough now" she creeps between the
cold sheets, while John sits placidly on, his
feet across the piano stool and a cigar. In his
mouth. BY and by he rises, yawns. stretches
himself, throws the paper on the floor, and
Rocky Mountain husbandman. [volume] (Diamond City, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1879-01-23

Selling the shaker proceeds to that vigorous
exercise, shaking the coal stove. just at
this stage a not altogether pleasant voice in
quires: For PHYS sake amt you ready
for bed yet" Eyes, yes, I'm coming.
why don't you go to sleep and let a fellow
alone"
Then he discovers that there's coal needed.
When this is supplied and ratified into the
stove, he sits down to warm his feet. Next
he slowly begins to undress, and as he stands
scratching himself and absently gazing on
the last garment, dangling over the back of
the chair, he remembers that the clock is
not wound yet. When that is attended to
he wants q drink of water, and away he
promenades to the kitchen. OF course when
he returns his skin resembles that of a pick
ed chicken, and once more he seats himself
before the fire fora last warm up" AS
the clock strikes twelve he turns out the
gas, and with a flop Of the bed clothes and
a few spasmodic shivers he subsides-no.
not yet he forgot to see if the front door
was locked, and another flop Of the bed
clothes brings forth the remark, "Good
gracious if that man amt enough to try
the patience of job" Setting her teeth
hard, she awaits the final flop, with the ac-
companyihg blast of cold air, and then quiz
city inquiries IF he is settled for the night,'
to which he replies by muttering, IF you
amt the provokingest woman 7,
Rocky Mountain husbandman. [volume] (Diamond City, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1879-01-23
The HON { CIRCLE.
THE LONG AGO.

oh' a wonderful stream is the river of time,
AS IL runs through the realm of tears,
WIN u 1aultless rythm, and a musical rhyme.
Ahoa broader sweep, and Il surge sublime,
And blends with the ocean of years.
How the winters are drifting like flakes of snow.
ANA the summers like buds between,
ana the years i'll the sheaf as they come and they go.
On the rivers breast, with its ebb and its fow,
AS it glides in the shadow and sheen.
Ihefe's a magical isle in the river of time,
where the softest of airs are playing,
1hefe>s q cloudless sky, and Il tropical cline.
AND Il song rs sweet as a vesper chime,
And the Junes with the roses are staying.
And the name of the isle is Long Ago,
And we bury our treasures there
There are brows of beauty and bosoms of snow.
There are heaps of dust-but we loved Them so!
There are trinkets and tresses of hair.
There are fragments of song that nobody sings.
And II part of an infants PRAYER;
There's a lutte unswcpt, and a harp without strings,
There are broken VOWS and pieces of rings,
And the garments she used to wear.
There are hands that are waved when the fairy shore
By the mirage is lifted in air,
And we sometimes hear thro' the turbulent roar,
Sweet voices heard in the days gone before,
When the wind down the river is fair.
Oh! member for aye be that blessed isle,
All the day of life till night;
When the evening comes with it's beautiful smile,
And our eyes are closing in slumber awhile. -
May that greenwood of soul be in sight.
Rocky Mountain husbandman. [volume] (Diamond City, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1879-01-23
WE BUY OF THOSE WHO ADVERTISE.

The London correspondent of the Cincin-
natl Inquirer tells the following story. The
moral will be obvious to those who have
anything to sell /:
In Paris, last summer, / saw a friend of
mine, who had just come over, using a pen
OF peculiar construction, designed with
special reference to those untidy persons.
who, like myself, ink their fingers when
they write. Now, my friend is a mar whose
hands are as white as lilies, with finger nails
like rosebuds in tint-noticeable hands, even
remarkable, considering that he is an elderly
man, and who occasionally helps with the
lighter work on his farm in Nebraska. Catch
him mixing his fingers
why, where didyou get that nice pen ~
| asked him, a vista Of blissful exemption
from linked middle finger opening on my
joyous expectant mind.
I'm Omaha,'' he answered. tits the
incest thing. used to ink my fingers be-
fore | got it,
He did! He linked his fingers! That was
enough for me. | got the name of the mer-
chant from whom he bought the pen, the
price Of it. and, inclosing the money, I sent
from Paris to Omaha tor the pen.
By the last steamer it came to me. The
stationer at Omaha was out of them, but he
sent to Sioux City, to the man who adver-
tises them, for a new lot. And now, here
is where the laugh comes in. The pens are
an English invention, and tons of them can
be bought III London If desired. AT tile
stationer's, next door, | could have got what
sent after to Sioux City, But how could
know that? | dealt with the man that
advertised.
Rocky Mountain husbandman. [volume] (Diamond City, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1879-01-23

GOLDEN EAVES.
Search thine own heart; what paineth thee
In others, in thyself may be.
All dust is frail; all flesh Ia weak;
Be thou the f,xe 3nnn fbou doct eo,I

pc fhou me True man thou d0St seek.
Money which is gained by fraud must
be lost.
History makes haste to record great
deeds, but often neglects good ones.
An opportunity which presents itself
must not be lost.
The mill must be of two stones two
persons are required for friendship.
You cannot contract for the fish that is
in the sea.
-Education pays an annual income for
lite' without expense for insurance, repairs
or taxes.
Mo of the shadows that cross our path
through life are caused by our standing in
our own light.
-Never wait for a thing to turn up. Go
ana tnrn 1t up yourself. /. takes less time
anu then 1t III sure to be done.
Rocky Mountain husbandman. [volume] (Diamond City, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1879-01-23
Written for the Rocky Mountain Husbandman.
MOVING A REGIMENT, AND SOME OF THE
INCIDENTS OF THE TRIP.

Tonight r. was out on the forepart of
the cabin deck talking to Capt. Marrata,
and turned aside a moment to light his pipe,
then turned to resume the conversation.
They were standing near the big headlight
lantern, lit was not lit, and when r. turned
to light his pipe the Captain, having some
thing to attend to below, went down the
companionWay. The night was quite dark.
K. said:
~ began to talk again, and noticed that T
received no replies to my questions, SO look
ed a little closer, and, by Jove! found I had
been talking to that COMPOUNDED lantern"
On account Of its shape it may be very
easily mistaken for a man with a oyercoat on,
On the 18th of October we arrived at Bis
marck, and at once disembarked. The bag
gage was unloaded and loaded into cars in
waiting, aud after a hearty shake hands
with the officers Of the boat, which was at
once engaged to return to Buford, we step
ped aboard the cars-men women and chill
dren, horses, dogs and cats.
A more smoothly working concern than
the Josephine it would be hard to find. Not
an unpleasant word was heard between Cow
island and Bismarck. AL the boats of this
line have a very fine reputation. They COM
prise the Josephine, Far West, Key West,
Rose Bud, Big Horn and Western.
Only agreeable memories of this down.
river journey remain with us. Pleasant
Capt. Marrata gentlemanly Lathrop; and
genial Foley, who was never out of pies.
May we jostle against them again soon.
Bismarck, two miles from the landing,
reached, and a number of lis went down
among the oysters. Yum! How good they
did taste after our long enlargement from
the family.
A telegram was sent to the railroad hotel
at Bismarck, ordering coffee for three hun
dred men mex morning.
A more orderly lot OF men than ours have
been on this trip would be too good. They
have made no trouble at all.
Coming down the river, the band had a
daily afternoon practice, that was eagerly
looked for, and listened to, by all on board.
and as the melody was waited through the
wild solitudes the buffalo would raise their
heads and listen. wondering, perhaps, what
opera that was from, then suddenly erect
their tails and go plunging away in a mad
gallop, though the band might be playing
8 sober march.
We found the coffee waiting for us next
morning, and railroad breakfast for those
who chose it.
But alas for dinner. Ours was a special
train, and when we reached the station
where We should have found dinner, met
Rocky Mountain husbandman. [volume] (Diamond City, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1879-01-23

A WESTERN editor, in response TO a SUBJ
scriber who grumhles that his paper is in
toierably damp, says it is .'because there is
SO much due on it,
Rocky Mountain husbandman. [volume] (Diamond City, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1879-01-23

Now Prof. King. the aeronaut. pro-
poses to solve the problem of the north pole
In q balloon.
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13
THE CENTENNIAL MEDAL +!
The Truth at Last !
THE
HOWE MACHINE E
Again Triumphant!

At the 45th Exhibition of the American
Institute Fair in this city, the Howe Ma
chine was recommended by the judges,
and approved by the unanimous vote of
the Board of Managers, for the GREAT
GOLD centennial MEDAL" under the
following rules:
"This Medal tof gold) is to be awarded
only for machine, product, or process,
exhibited this centennial year, at the 45th
Exhibition of the American Institute of
the city of New York. It can be awarded
only for machine, product, or process, OF
great value, decided Importance, and OF
more than usual merit and then only by
q majority of the whole Board of Trustees,
upon the written report of three judges,
whose report shall certify to the above
requirements, and after said report shall
have been approved by a majority OF the
whole Board of Managers
It will be thus seen that the ssHowe"
still leads all competitors-an we chal-
lenge all Sewing Machine Companies III
the land to produce an award of like ex-
celience received in this CENTENNIAL
YEAR
THE HOWE MACHINE CO.,
1888 CANAL STREET, NEW ORLEANS.
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13

the apparatus may be adjusted to any
weight that is to be put upon the ropes or
chains, or to any required velocity.
A jointed folding frame, I, is hinged to
the top of the frame, A, and supports two
rollers at its outer end.
In case of emergency the washstand is
rolled to some convenient place, say win
dow or balcony, and if time permits the
folding frame, l, is made to project over
the window sill or balcony. The end of Ell
ther of the ropes wound on the drum is un-
hooked, and the imperiled person passes
the rope first over one of the loose pulleys
in the jointed frame, then passes it around
his body, hooks it, and let's himself down
easily and safely. By this time, if there are
other inmates exposed, second one un-
hooks the end of the other rope, and also
lowers himself to the ground, and in SO
doing causes the drum to wind up the first
rope, ready torepeat the operation i'll favor
of third occupant, an so on. Every person
descending winds one of the ropes on the
drum, and thus prepares the machine for
another. Should it be required, line with
"a weight at one end may be provided in
the apparatus, which may be attached by
one end to hook on the pendulum rod.
while the end carrying the weight is let
down upon the pavement. By means OF this
line so connected with the pendulum rod,
persons descending will be enabled to check
their descent at will. But while this may
be very convenient when time enough is
allowed, and calm and order prevail, yet
the apparatus is so constructed that in
pressing emergencies no time is required
but what is strictly necessary to roll the
stand in some suitable place, take bold of
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13
EONVILE. La SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER Is, 1879
TO LoUIsIANIANs


The publishers OF the N&w ORLEANs
Times wish especialy at TINS 5ime snas
every citizen OF TINS State Shoulo Dc suo
scriber or reader of the TIMES. Questions
Of the greatest Importance to Louisiana
are pending waiting solution. A conVen-
tion Of her delegates is now IN session
drafting an organic law for adoption to
replace the present constitution, ana
which it is hoped will radically reform
those fearful abuses, wasteful extrayagan-
cies and gross injustices which have been
nurtured by it and have grown up under
it. The snhject OF restrictive quarantine as
TO its efficacy in preventing the introduc-
tion of the scourge Of yellow fever and It's
acknowledged blighted effects upon the
business and prosperity OF the city OF new
Orleans and theState, is now engrossing to
q large extent public attention. Other vital
questions, such as labor, immigration, rail-
road communications with our neighborlhg
State OF Texas, removal OF tue state capi-
tai. etc., demand constant consideration
and discussion. :,
The publishers OF the TINES, refer WIN
pride to the position taken by the TINES
ON all OF these qdestlons. Ihelr inspiring
motive has been the good of the State and
her people. for upon her prosperity, deVel-
opment and growth depend their compen-
satlon ana reward. from no other souice
can they expect to subserve these ends.
The thorough independence OF the ZINES.
its strength, courage and consistency IN
the discussion OF ali questions, Its inoeIaIl
gable and persistent labors to restore 11e
wonted prosperity OF the South, nave maue
1t recognized throughout tne country DIS
the leading Southern journal and made It
quoted everywhere as the representative
Of the best Southern thought and opinion.
The publishers wish that copy may pc
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13

the end of one rope, and let ones sell!
down, that is, few seconds at most.
In addition to the above mention
ed advantages, the apparatus herein
described will be found of great
service to facilitate the ascension OF
outsiders into buildings in confla-
grafton, for the purpose of afordine
assistance, putting out fires, saving
valuables, etc. 1t will also be found
"a S safe and convenientauxiliary to
masons engaged in erecting isolated
chimneys, to ascend and descend.
From the above it will appear OBJ
vious that the apparatus just de-
scribed possesses particular merits,
which can hardly fail to command
the attention of hotel keepers, own
e1s or managers of large factories,
theatres, &C., and of all true phi
lanthropists generally.
Among it's chief merits may be
mentioned :-compaetness, simpli-
city, cheapness, comeliness, all
readiness, strength, reliability com
fort, and above all the PERFECT
SAFETY with which the most
nervous or unskilled persons may
avail themselves of it in pressing
emergencies. With such an appara-
tus at hand, everybody will feel
personally secure against danger
from fire.
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13
TO CAPITALISTS AND MANUFACTURERS.

to other arrangements
that might be proposed.
Respectfully,
j. III. LESCALE,
Paincourtville, La.
Address as above, or to
r. L. WOODWARD & Co.,
Agents,
IA Kilby st., Boston, Mass.
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13

You will as readily realize, it
is expected, the very important
inducements hereby offered for
investments or speculation.
I am prepared to receive prop
ositions for the sale of my patent,
or of State rights, or to have the
Fire Escape manufactured on
and to give due consid-
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13

Your attention is respectfully
called to the subject of the above
circular. You will readily realize
the Importance of the combina-
tions embodied in my invention,
which makes it unquestionably
the most practical, efficient and
reliable Fire Escape heretofore
introduced to the public.
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13

We have carefully examined your in
vention, and without hesitation pronounce
it practical arrangement, and one which
we believe can beNsold at reasonable fig
ures.-Estimates entire Patent, $40, 900 !;
by States, sl3.200 (lowest). american
Patent 4gsa,ey, 188 W 5th st. Cincinnati.
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13
BITTERS

Purify the blood and strengthen the sys:
tenn, graduating the effect of dissipation,
maintain the human frame in condition OF
healthfulness, dispel the Blues and all men
tai distempers, and relieve those whose
sendentary habits lay them open to de-
preston. They prevent and cure Bilious
and other Fevers, Fever nnd Ague,
Chills, Dfarrheea, Dysentery, Dys-
pepsia, Sea-Sickness, Collie, Cholera
Cholera Morbus, and every complaint
incidental TO diet or atmosphere. Ladies'
will find them sovereign boon, as they
eradicate all traces of Debility, Nervous
ness Inertness, and Diseases peculiar to
the sex.
Depot. 65 Decatur Str, N. o.
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13

Your device pleases us in that it is
simple. 1t seems to US to present splen.
did Investment to the right parties, for We
see no reason why this Escape should not
take its placetas candidate for favor and
receive sha pf the support conceded to
most assuredly hold its own. The price
you demand ior New York State (Si000) is
quite reasonable.-F e. Hoodpard d. Co.,
IA Kilby ST., Boston.
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13

You have good Patent.-R. W. Masssr,
ST. Joseph, No.
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13

We have no donbt we can sell your pa
tent at about $12, 900 to sl5 000-iShcrBsort
d Co., Marshall, Mich.
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13

We candidly think we can do uery nell
in the sale of Rights in your Patent IS. s.
KIRK d. Co., 613 7th ST., Washington.
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13

The apparatus seems to us to have
merits which will enable you TO dispose
of it ageously.-Mataaat d Co., 81
Park Ro,o, N. Y.
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13

Offered for the English Patent, 4tOoo
labout s5000.l
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13

Wei conclude it is practical invention
and, by making the proper effort, sales of
Territory can be made at fair rates.-Nash
d Co., 133 s 2,sd ST., Philadelphia.
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13

Can sell your Patent in Canada for
$4,000, if secured without delay. Barrit,
81 Park Rosu, n. 7.
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13

Your Invention is fair rival to all the
Fire-Escapes that ever came under our
notice. The market is deluged with Fire
Escapes, one more Iamentable than the
other. and it is refreshing to see some
thing good in that line.-H. Geealcr d Son,
49 Chambers ST., ". Y.
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13

It would be good thing to put one Of
your Fire Escapes in the Ana. institute
Fair.-A. J. Patton, 81 City Hall Place,
NJ Y
Pioneer of Assumption. (Napoleonville [La.]) 185?-1895, 1879-09-13
No. 13.
BRICKS! BRICKS

The undersigned, having enlarged his
BRICK YARD with theintention ofearry-
ing his business ON larger scale, sohcits
as heretofore the patronage of his
friends, and is now prepared to deliver
Bricks at all landings between Donaldson
vile and Thibodaux at prices and condi-
tions to suit purchasers.
Address:
ULIssE B. DUGAS.
Assumption Store.
~ Constantly on hand a supply of
TYLE BRICKS.
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1879-11-02
ERE&E r THERE.

Mrs.. Nellie Grant Saytoris aud her
husband will soon come to this
country.
Musqaitoes are wrapping their little
drills in buckskin and laying them
away until next season.
In the eight large cities OF Scotland
there were only two suicides during
the month Of September.
The Prince of Wales sone receive q
pay of % cents a day which will be
Increased to rs cents a day when they
are promoted.
How would ladies do for collectors =?
We have yet to see the man, no mat
ter how old, ugly, or savage, who would
turn away when the little ducks
presented their little bills.
Madame Nillson is engaged fer
twelve performances in Spain, 10 be
given during the welding festivities
of King Alfonso, and for these she is
to receive $4,000.
The cost of the last California State
election was $7~2,872.16, or SLIT a
vote. This makes q pretty tidy sum
when the amount each candidate
spent is added to it.
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1879-11-02

WE clip the following from the
Nashville american of Friday
morning:
In delivering his opinion in the
case Of Robert D Beverly, Of Virginia,
VS.. the County of Davidson-a suit
brought to ecove SIS, 900 III warrants
issued by the County Judge 30 Samuel
D0nelson, IS Clerk of the Criminal
Court-Wednesday. Judge John Bax-
ter, OF the United States Circuit Court,
made use of the following woTds:
I see, from the evidence b=f0ro nae
ia this case, that the county does owe
a certain amount of warrants, aud that
she does not owe other warrants out
standing. She should pay sIl she owes
and ought not to pay those she does
not owe.
Should you Tec0vtr here i'll this
case it might be that you would get
the money due some other person. I
suggest that the warrants should be
massed and a bill fled to determine
the right of each individual.
From the evidence in this case,
enough has cropped cut for na to sse
plainly the preparation Of glaripg,
inexcusable, palpable and outrageous
frauds on the part Of officials. and how
they can escape being punished for the
same Is astounding to me.'".
The Nashville papers have very
little to say about it, but it is evil
dent that there has been a great deal
of crOokedness among some of the
county officials of Davidson county.
Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1879-11-02

Gen. Grant is reported as saying he
would like 10 spend q part of this win
ter in the Southern States He also
expects to G 0 10 Cuba and Mexico. II
is all right - long as he don't so 20
YsZ)o.
A Boston preacher said: Tie litile
god any one Of Is can do must be
done with our hearts humping against
the hearts OF our fellow men, S-v
enteen Beacon Hill girls joined that
church the following Sunday.
4 music seller announces "Hhou
hast loved aud left me for three
csnts.n # cur girl had to be given
three cents before she would love US,
and then after getting the three cents.
would leave US, we are ale sure We
wouldn't give it away like that,
DR.. r. Y. Pierce, The Representative
in Congress from the Buffalo IN. Y,
District, ia said TO be worth $1,000, O0(
or more. In 1872 he went to that city
q pennies veDder Of patent medI
cines Of his own manufacture. Hi
success illustrates the advantage o
iudici0us advertising.
Florence, the actor, tells this story
of the elder Booth; He was playine
Hamlet in Virginia one night, an(
had no skull. = little darkey voIun-
tered TO get one. When Booth wa
leaving The theatre he felt some OIL
Juggling st his coat tail He locke,
around and saw The little brunette
What will you have, sonny? p Please
sab, I want daddy's skull, sah.' Dad
dy's skuIl?' Yes. sab. Dat used t,
be de ole mans h~ead-piece afore dc
mewel kicked him. an mamny'll Iicl
mn for ra0a af r TOeo 1T ~