The comet. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1877-1882, 1879-03-01
Tur.,nS a Joke on Artemus Ward

urdav received the following story from
John p. Smith, who was the advance
agent of Artemus Ward during his lee
| turing tour in this country
Artemus was lecturing, with his pan
Drama of Salt Lake, in Canada, and as
business was good he was in correspond
| ingly high spirits and his pockets were
full of coin.
The day before they were to leave
Smith told Ward that as silks were so
much cheaper in the British Possessions
than in the United States, he had pur
chased IL large piece of silk and was go
ing to take it to his wife as present.
Ward was pleased with the idea, and in
the same confidence told Smith that he
had also purchased piece of melton
cloth, and both conferred with each
other so as to pass the custom house.
Ward suggested to Smith to wrap the
silk around his body, and Smith in turn
advised Artemus to place his cloth
within the folds of his panorama Of
Salt Lake. They each agreed to take
the others advice, and Smith left the
next morning to go over to the
States in advance. The bundle of silk
wound around him made him feel quite
uncomfortable, especially when he
came to the custom house and COM
menced interogating about his bag
gage.
The official was very polite and passed
baggage without a murmur, and then
invited him into his private office,
handed him cigar, and begged him
to take seat.
The heat of the room began to make
Smith very uncomfortable and he arose
to go.
BE seated, sir, said the official, I
want to have little chat with YOU
Mo- must be going, said the gen
ial John. 1 can't stand sitting so long,
and then I've great deal to attend to-.
You seem to be very stoutish kind
of II man, said the officer
Yes, said Smith, lis face gettin G red
and the warmth from the silk increas
ing-Im pretty solid, but can't stand
a hot room.
'Ah, said the inspector, what's the
trouble? Anything the matter with
your CueSI VI lungs!
Only slight oppression replied |
Smith.
Oppression about the lungs ? ex-
claimed the officer, rising and advancing
toward the sutfocating agent, Let me
make an examination for you, sir,it may
be dangerous. Please remove your
coat.
Tits nothing-it will soon pass away
'eplied Smith inwardly praying for a
,hance to escape.
My dear friend, you should not al
ow yourself to suffer moment, said
he officer, and | insist upon examin-
ng your chest. Doubtless [ can re-
ieve you of all trouble
The inspector insisted, and the dis
,omfitted agent after vninly trying to
escape from his solicitation, finally ac-
the corn, and confessed
% having the concealed silk on his per-
,On.
The officer laughed heartily and said,
/ knew it all the while. Here's a letter
received this morning. And he
landed Smith letter written by Ward,
the inspector that a snug
yler would endeavor to pass quantity ,
IF silh, describing Smiths appearance, !
md claiming one-half of the reward ,
or the information. Smith was indig-
lant, of course, but determined to |
get even with the incorrigible Joker, so
he told the officer about Ward having !
.he roll Of cloth concealed in bis piano. :
rama. (
The inspector appreciated the Joke
and let Smith off with a small penalty.
The next morning Artemus Ward ar
rived at the custom house with his pan
Drama, when the inspector commenced
interrogating him, aud insisted upon
his letting him have have a glimpse of
his beautiful pictures.
Ward tried every excuse, but the Off
;ial was importunate, and finally he !
was compelled to have his man unwind
me section Of the panorama before the l
Inspector.
Artemus stood by and explained the
views, until suddenly the cloth came to
Igut, and as 1t slowly unwou1din front
II the the pictures Ward struck an at
itude like his performance upon the
,tagr, ana in the drawl of the exhibitor
aid This view is slightly cucumber
d with twenty yards of melton cloth.
That d-n Smith told you all about
{. What's the damage 2
The inspector soon. settled the ques-
ion of charges, and for on ce Artemus
Jdnd himself caught by his own Joke.
Bon ISGERsOII, male $40 600 bv a. ,si,,o,
he bible last year. and Toronto clergy
nan d.ed from starvation. Isn't it about
ime for another food Public Opinion.
The Salem Standard IS conducied Inv
thew q Brother but that is no reason WIN
,eople should eschew it.-Rome Sentinel
certainly not They should chews. rather
he gEid pro quO.-Chicayo Co.,rnsrci,I