New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1879-02-26
MULTUM IN PARyo.

The new crime is called cryptoma-
mia.
A SNOW PLow is no pillow when there
Is no snow.
A HOTEL BILL may well be called inn
debtedness.
The demand Of the hour is q burglar
proof grave.
The best seats at the theater of war
are generally on the front tier.
THE tramp question-"Say, kin yer
give Teller thin ter eat?'-Boston
Traveller.
"CoRN BREAD" said the Irish waiter,
"we haven't got; ~ isn't it corn bate
ye maner'
"SAND' color is the latest color in
Paris for travelling dresses. 1t is said
to look as sweet as sugar.
AIM to be just and fair in all your
dealings, and cultivate good reputa-
ton for paying promptly.
BEGIN in q small safe way, and ex-
tend your business as experience shall
teach you is advantageous.
"Purnot your trustin Kings" Three
aces and jack will skin them every
time.-Ezperie'sced Photographer.
The thirst for continual novelty
makes people throw away good altman
acs at the end Of every year and buy
new ones.
THE Esquimaux amt much on
eucher, but when you come TO tackle
'em on old sledge, it's q draw game
every time.
THE Wheeling Leader proposes
fencing the Ohio River to keep the
milkmen away, and thus have high
water all the year round.
JUsr as soon as young fellow over
in Europe settles down and thinks he is
first-class King, some knave comes
along and tries to play the deuce with
him.
NAPOLEON WILLETTE, q friar of
Montreal, who recently whipped pu-
pill 80 severely that it died, was fined
$5 and costs for the ofense by the Po-
lice Magistrate.
SCIENTIFIC Boston now sings its
hymns at prayer meetings not out Of
hymn books but from hymn screens,
wherein they are projected by means
of stereopticon. 7. Post.
"a SOFT answer turneth away
WRATH" but q tough anser turneth
away the carving-fork, slides all over
the dish, and covers the head of the
family with gravy aud confusion
Puck.
PROBABLY about the best way to put
stop to this grave-robbery business
would be, in every case where .
grave is rif1ed, to fill the vacancy
promptly with . medical student. Bur
llette.
SEVERAL Stratham, N. H., parties
have been digging for buried money,
under the direction Of q Spiritualistic
medium. at q point where an old farmer
dreamed there was treasure; but work
has been suspended till spring.
CALIFORNIA has had unusually cold
weather this winter. At Los Angeles
lately . severe frost fell. injuring
greatly the orange trees and probably
killing all the banana trees. At San
Jose the mercury fell to % deg. on Dec.
Is, which is the lowest temperature
ever recorded there.
WE SEQ that . man in Connecticut
was killed. the other day, while :. try-
ing to board freight-train. There
IS reason in all these things. No doubt
when the man took the freight train to
board, he gave it . saleratus biscuit,
rye coffee and strong butter for break
fast, and tough mutton three times .
week for dinner, till in . fit Of dyspep.
sia the freighttrain rose up and killed
him. Boston Commercial Bulletin.
LONGEVITY is not such an exceptional
thing even in these hard times as many
croakers would have as believe. In
the Worlds column Of funeral adver-
tisements this morning, which may be
taken as average evidence 60 far IS this
city goes. will be found invitations to
the funerals Of nine persons who were
residents Of this city and its suburbs,
and whose ages ranged from seventy to
eighty-eight. OF these four were octo-
genarians. =. World.
A FEW years ago the following act-
ually appeared in one Of the London
papers, certainly most economical
speculation for the use Of soul and
body: $ Wanted, for . family who
have bad health. 5 sober, steady per
son, il the capacity Of doctor, surgeon
and apOthe oary. He must occasional
y cot 9 butler, and dress hair and
wigs. He viii s. required sometimes
g read prayers and preach : sermon
every Sunday 4 good salary viii b
Giyen =