davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-09-11
A Chapter on SODA Water.
A Roman .ss,a htaabieo Nud4y,mdbreInx M ees.r.


Wine is a mocker, strong drink is
raging, but soda water maketh a man to
be at peace in his innermost parts.
It sizzleth and f0ameth in the fagon
and the feeling thereof penetrateth even
unto the soles at ones feet, and doeth
one good to the top of hishair.
Oh, come let us sing new song unto
the sarsaparilla, let us rejoice in the
vanilla cream, likewise in the pineapple
that pleaseth the palate and the straw
berry that filleth the epiglotis with
exceeding joy.
Why doth the son of man 20 about
seeking those waters Of life which doth
prevail naughtily against. the nostrils,
and .maketh one to think that there is a
dead thing therein. ..f.i .lt.{ -.
The soda water entereth in unto us
and quencheth our thirst, yea, verify, it
purgeth the system for d nickel, unless,
peYchance, the vender thereof be of q
forward heart and demandeth dime.
Belch not that ye be not belched, for
whose drinking of thesod water freely
and beleheth anon, the same, shall be
grievously s&icted az to his nostrils. :,
The foolish man entereth in unto the
drug store, and said lo.here and 10 there,
but tho drug man slaugheth him toscorn
and saith to him, eco, + know not
whereof yon speak; We have naught Of
aqch, 70 se4, for it be against the law. so
s sXndsthe.f ooliSA man is sore distressed,
for his soul thirsteth and panteth after
q drink, and he cannot be comforted.
i But the wise man iWinketh with his
eye and saith, Give until thy servant
that which tarrieth in the black bottle
hene e. t1e YYpteEs which the: saqe Il
And the drugman doth unto him even
"a he was commanded, and he taketh
much precaution lest he be seen with
the bottle, but he maketh much noise
drawing tho soda waters ~~;c>ls: r.:
But of such is not the law but the
Louis .Zimes,y orrnal..
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-09-11

~ Do not2remain, when you find the LADY,
on the; point Of going out. y, 'f,Ss,..'..
Do not make the first call il y, Won n ara
q newcomer in the neighborhood. ~
si DO not open or shut doors or win
dows or alter the arrangements Of the
room. -. ).
Do not open room without, first
knocking and receiving an invitation to
come in. ,'..''..7F
Do not walk around the room exam
lining pictures, while waiting for the
hostess. ':I'
Do not resume your seat after having
risen t., 60, unless for important rear
Do not introduce politics, religion or
weighty topics for conversation when
making calls. .
Do not prolong the call If the room is
crowded. 1t is better to call day or
two afterwards. =: ,... ~ +, :,
Do not call upon person in reduced
circumstances, with display of wealth,
dress and equipage. -. -.
i: Do not tattle. Do not speak i'll of
your neighbors. Do not carry gossip
from one family to another.
self upon tie sofa, beside the lei hostess,
or in near proximity, unless invited to
dose. . ..',.. :
DO not, if a lady, call upon a gen.
tleman, except officially or profession
ally, unless he may be q confirmed in.
valid.
Do not take strange gentleman
with you, unless positively certain that
bis introduction will be received with
favor.
Do not, if gentleman, leave the hat
in the hall when making merely a formal
call. If the call is extended into a visit,
it may then be set aside. Whether
sitting or standing the hat may be
gracefully held in the hand.-Hslps
Manual Of Social and Business Forms.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-09-11

Warehouse, as we'll as Farm, Nils a:c largely coli
structed, both kinds requiring ri:,c :=es . accom-
modate the demand, and giving capa'ty from go
to 500 bushels per hour according to size Of mil.
md Thy arc hpPea Ra for
inland, as requested: and l., ill cases put free on
board Cars or Steamer. Orders filled same day as
received. :. .i!..y.. :....-. .........-,.
freight charged as when forwarded "set up" ,Olco-
graphs and Circulars supplied or application. Prices
will be quoted lozo and on lberal terms: Cores
pondence solicited. '':''+ lr~-'' q "
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-09-11
Mark Twain on Juvenile Pugllists

Mark Twain on Juvenile Pugilists.
Eyes, I've had good many fights in
my time," said old John Parky, tenderly
manipulating his dismantled nose, "and
it's kind of queer too, for when I was a
boy the old man was always telling me
better. He was q good old man and
hated fighting. When I would come
home with my nose bleeding, or with my
face scratched up, he used to call me out
in the woodshed, and in a sorrowful and
discouraged way say: So, Johnny, you've
had another fight, hey?. How many
times have I got to tell you how
disgraceful and wicked it is for boys to
fight? 1t was only yesterday that I
talked to you an hour about the sin of
fighting, and here you've been st it
again. Who was it with this time?
With Tommy Kelly, hey? Don't you
know any better then to f ght boy that
weighs twenty pounds more than you do,
besides being two years older? Amt ye
got spark of sense about ye? can see
plainly that you are determined to
break your poor fathers heart by your
reckless conduct. Whatails your finger?
Tommy bit it? Drat the little fool!
Didn't you know enough to keep you.
fingers out of his mouth? Was trying
to jerk his cheek eff, hey7 Won't you
never learn to quit foolin' round boys
mouth with your fingers? You're bound
to disgrace us all by such wretched
behavior. You're determined never to
be nobody. Did you ever heal. of Isaac
Watts that wrote, "Let dogs delight to
bark and bite'-sticking his fingers in q
boys mouth to get 'em bit, like a fool?
Pm clean discouraged with ye Why
didn't ye 60 for his nose, the way iona
than Edwards, and George Washington,
and Daniel Webster used to do, when
they were boys7 Couldn't cause he had
ye down? That's a purity story to tell
me. 1t does beat all that you can't learn
how Socrates and William Penn used to
gouge when they was under, after the
hours and hours I have spent in telling
you about those great men 7 1T seems to
me sumetimes as if ] should have to give
you up in despair. It is an awful trisl
to me to have boy that don't pay any
attention to good example, OF what I
say. What! You pulled out two or
three handfulls of hair? H'ml Did he
squirm any? Now, if you had given him
one or two in the eye-but as I've told
you many time, fighting is poor bust
ness. Won't you-for your fathers sake
wont you promise to try and remem-
Der that? HIM! Johnny, how did it
,-ahem-which licked7
"t You licked him7 Sho! Really 7
Well now, l hadn't any idea you could
lick Tommy Kelly! / don't believe John
Bunyan, at ten years old, could have
done it. Johnny, my boy, you can't
think how L hate to have you fighting
every day or two. would not have him
lick you for five, no, not for ten dollarsl
Nov, sonny, go right in and wash sup,
and tell your mother to put a rag on
your finger. And, Johnny don't let me
hear of you fighting again."
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-09-11
-. :s>...! r.. .; Hints Oh Us1lihe::s..s
Do not stare around the room
p, ~ ,n,>% %.I> ia

do not stare around tho IOOm.,2 49, e
y Do not take, 3 dog Of small child.
do not 1ingS 81 thR dinner .i0uEg t.
:" Do not LAY aside the bonnet at for:
mai call. ''s<A' , s*l's5 - ,s:.'la:ys p
Do not fdget with your cane, hat or
:; Do nos touch. thd pi.no1 un ,lssi Invited
to do TO- se}asA 4s4oi ,fZs.1s.. l<#7 IT. b5s -
Do not make call of ceremony on =
not turn your back back q ShS. iszted
hear You. 5@,s1;1 ~ ..@egia sinr "a: ~sZlas -
81 not handle ornament 81 81 furniture
In the room. s -=s..---s..- ]. =.
.. s;pq 3 81 3 70 thsrqon q 81 a. in4ald,
unle1 invited, IS. 80 anAts' g. sssi ~!
Do not remove the. gloves, while max, );
inp formal call.
Do not continue the call longer when
conversation begins to Lag.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-09-11
TO CONSERVATIVES,

The advertiser, having been permanently cured
OF that dread disease, Consumption, by a simple
remedy, is anxious to make known to his fellow
he viii send copy Of the prescription used, free
Of chsrge,) with the directions for preparing and
using the same, which they will find sU1E CURE
for CONSUMPTION, ASTHMA. BRONCHITIs, &c. Par
ties wishing the Prescription will please address,
E. A. WILSON, 194 Penn St.. Wtlliamsburgh, n. Y.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-09-11

M F0 OF all kinds, JUNIORS, discharges Of
FIJI n BLOOD or mucous, and all dis
] !IcO eases Of the RECTUM quickly and
perfectly cured by simple and soothing RENE
DY. For information address
DIR. j. FABER CO., 70 Ann st. n Y
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-09-11
THE WORLDS RAIM

THE WORLDS BALM.
Dr.L.D.Weyburn's Alternative Syrup.
~A remedy used THIRTY.FIVE YEARS in q
private practice, and never falling to radically
RHEUMATISM.
Dropsy, Erysipelas, scrofula. Secondary Syphilis
Gravel, Diabetes, snd all diseases in which the
blood is implicated, is now offered to the public.
Sold by all Retail Druggists, and Wholesale only
by THE WEYBURN MEDICINE co. p, 0. Box
838, Rochester. n Y
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-09-11
ERRORS OF YOUTH.

"A Nervous DEBlLI ~, PREMATURE DECAY,
and all the effects of youthful indiscretion will for
the sake Of suffering humanity send free TO all who
need it, the recipe and direction for making the
simple remedy by which he was cured. Sufferers
wishing to profit by the advertisers experience can
do 60 by addressing in perfect confidence,
JOHN B. OGDEN, ~ Cedar st., New York.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-09-11
SPECIAL NOTICES.
PIMPLES,

will mail [Free) the recipe for a simple vEeErA-
Bile BALM that will remove TAN, FRECKLES PM
PILES and BLo1CHEs, leaving the skin soft, clear
and beautiful; alf0 instructions for producing q
luxur1snt growth of hair on bald head or smooth
face. Address, inclosing Sc. stamp, BEN. VAN
DELI CO.. 20 Ann Street. NJ Y -. u
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-09-11
PROF. HARRIS RADICAL CURE
FOR SPERMATORRHGA.
seminal PASTIllE"

4 Valuable O10COVefy
and New Departure in Med
ieal Science, an entirely
New and positively effect.
i've Remedy for the speedy
and permanent Cure Of
Seminal Emissions Il
1mpoteuoy BY the only
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-09-11
Ayers Oathartic Pills.

Are the most ef
f!etive and conge-
NAL puilr;gativee9et
discovered. They
are; mild, but ef-
hctual in their
operation, moving
the bowels s;ufely
and without pain.
Although gentle
in their operation,
they are still the
most thorough and
1oAho~
New-York tribune., 1879-09-17
TILE cHLSOLM TERDIcT.

So the murderers of ChisOlm 60 scot free.
There was just Judge but he could not find
a verdict for n Democratic jury. There was
q thorough presentation of conclusive evidence
by able counsel. But the jury were Democrats.
II is said that one man of the twelve was a
Republican, but a man too weak or too stupid
to form and hold an opinion adverse to that
of his associates. Seven were white Demo
Gratis, and that settled it.
Is it TO be inferred that all white Democrats
at the South in their hearts excuse the mur-
der of men for the crime Of being active
Republicans 7 Even then, there would be
nothing to excuse the murder of helpless
cirl and innocent boy. Have the white Dem
ocrats of the South none of those human feel
ings which distinguish men from savage
beasts 2 Yes, the better public opinion of the
South does undoubtedly condemn these muir
ders, at heart. Publicly it says the
Occurrence was very deplOrable." But that
does not enforce law. That does not
punish the guilty, nor deter men from per
petrating similar crimes whenever political
passion or interest prompts. Private censurc
does not 90 far. either Men who say in their
hearts " the murder was wrong" will go fox
hunting with the indicted Gully, or vote for
the assassin Barksdale, and touch without Il
shudder the hands red with innocent blood,
and welcome the murderer to their homes, and
be glad, provided he has money or social
standing, To see the bloOd-red hand joined be-
fore the altar with that of Il much-lOvcd
daughter. The censure hurts no one. 1t is
cool and mild, and impairs the standing of the
murderer neither socially nor politically nor in
business Southern society viii Ostracize Il
man, and hold him unfit to live, if he is guilty
of being Republican. But it will excuse him,
welcome him, court him, and claim him as an
eligible partner in marriage, if he has mur-
dered Republican. That decent society will
regret rs "a deplorable event." but it will not
punish as a crime.
Excuses are always offered, of course The
murdered man was always bad man. He
had "incitcd insurrection that is to say, he
had told the blacks that they were not slaves.
Or he had "stirred up a war of aces"-that
is he had advised the colored people not to
be shot down like sheep without resistance.
Or he had threatened the very existence of
civilized society y"-that is, he had consented
to receive, as n candidate for some Office
votes not cast by strictly Democratic hands.
Usually, after the man is dead. great deal
of mud is cast by chivalrous community
upon his tombstone. lie was desperate and
wicked man, and had insulted somebody, or
wronged somebody, or, it is said in extreme
cases, killed somebody. If a man who votes
an Independent ticket, or receives indepen-
dent votes, has ever killed anybody. that
iustiies killing him at once. But the good
Democrat who kills such person will never
l. IL 10 nj
This Is the state Of society of which the
Solid South is the product. The iurymen. we
New-York tribune., 1879-09-17
nrnoNS0S SEcoND M1RRLIGE.

Continental papers come to us full OF gossip
concerning the second marriage OF hinS Al
phonso. which is now a certainty. The Span
isb rranGecs who are to ask the hand of the
Archduchessare already on theiTway to the Court
of Vienna, whclc consent j. impaticntly await
ing them. 1t Is difficult to understand the
eagerness OF the Austrian Imperial house To
enter into this alliance with Spain; 1t can
bring no political strength to that monarchy.
The position of the Spanish Queen is ;hc most
slippery of any of the Unstable thrones of
Europc and added to ali this is the fact that
the sympathies of Austria have always been
with Don Carlos. That great agitator and his
brother were not only cordially received IN
person 10y the Austrian Court, but there
was every ground for suspoctlng that
il was Austrian gold which helped him
in his last struggle. The marriage of Alphonso
into the house of Hapsburg was no doubt
rarily planned IN order to cut OIL this ally
from Don Carlos, and a rumor was started that
q compromise with that troublesome Pretender
would be made before the marriage took place.
Don Carlos, however. has taken pains to let t
be known that he is not TO br bought of,
declaring that he is not 50 weak or 80 cow
"ardiy. but awaits events and trusts in God y
meaning that hc is ready to jump in whenever
there is any chance OF successful fight.
Meanwhile there is the usual feeble effort
to surround the approaching marriage with
the glow Of love and romance which every
body likes to believe belongs to weddings Ill
courts as in cottages. The young King, in
coglito, went through with his SIX days OF
wooing at Arcaclon dltiiuily, gave royal
gifts. and drove ont with the Queen who was to
he. But gossip declares that he was cold
lover, and that the Archduche,s (whO is said
to be a thin, pale-eyed young woman with close
shut lips and sharp. hand memory, rcmcm-
bered when he came that he had known her
long ago and had not chosen her first, and
was hard to be persuaded to listen willingly
to his wooing. Gossip, very probably, knows
nothing about it. Still, the story o. Mercedes,
and the passionate love and wedding OF the
boy and girl King and Queen, which was like
page out of fairy tale, is fresh in the memory
of all Europe, and makes these political nup
tialS tame and commonplace.
New-York tribune., 1879-09-17

that severe parent insisted upon making hi9 son y
upon ira" h' pDpmlafI' be irNch 10 Hnssil 'ai me
s,rn cEu.s VT allowed hir son and heir % scey
upon arg mDrc CO NOR 'hi' b'C
Lord Lyons has row Dccn twelve years tic
British AnOas~ador n France al salary ~ $4,000
ycar with hne house rent free. The Let four rulers
o; tnat country have a liked him. H. ilc early Isys
Of The Republic ho supposed have bren fccpical
- i;5 stability; he di moi take toe tg,ubc 70
have new passports printed with the aori, "Freacn
Republic" wacn Tiers 10 dine with hi there ~
little question % ceremony be observed
Iprd Lyons deicr,uinsd Ia respert ac-
cord royal hounrs ia guest. ~ announcing duner
the na"fd0no nDw"d iO u. THEIRS. amt std: " u. le
President g. In re ubque ct .ry" Tie itle old nan
thelcnpon gave hl, arm 10 Madame Taier-. and ihs
The procession to ibe dninc-rDom.
President and MIS-. Hayes sat talking in
their Fremont home The other evening with eroup O,
guests. wien General Sherman called upon a. .eI
story Of the " Battle of the Maumee" "wcu" said
that genial warrior. IL during what called the
Michigan war, when the border Inhabitants Michi.
gan and Ohio were quarreliug stIp OF territory
The dispute warm thata resort was made 10
arms, and the ONO party raised about POO men from
all the neiglboring towns while the Mclganders we're
not much behind the opposition On the eve OF battle
the two formidable armies were divided by ouy a
board fence aud pickets stationed along the line
Word got abroad SOMEHOW that during The night there
was 10 be "a surprise attack made. and dreadful
slaughter must surely ensue; when mysterious
noise OF a sttaliLy step approaching heard by
one Of the sentncls, he became Terribly excited and
called out In tho direction OF the noise. Receiving
answer, he leyccd his piece and red, atcr which no
threw II down aud ran for dear lifc. Next morning
wh9n the II looked down upon two deserted
camps. the only victim OF tine nights adventure fcng
innocent pig that had wandered from home ana mus
It's death ~ the hands OF the heroic sentry
HAMILTON, Ont, Sept. 16.-The Niceregal
party received q hearty welcome here. drawing
room he'd last evening, at which 400 ladies' and
ntei le IRA
briliinrt and extensive.
BERLIN, Sept. 18.-The Emperor has re-
turned 10 the capital having completed the Inspection
OF the Autumn manOuyres.
New-York tribune., 1879-09-17
PERSONAL.

One OF the late VIM. NJ Hunts two daugh
ters is studying art in Germany.
The Rev. DIR. Cumming, who is himself old
and H. has just his wife at the ~ seyoniythrec
The late Countess Waldegraye has left by
will the portrait Of Maria, D1cAcss of Gloucester,
painted by Sir Joshua Reynolds. 10 the Due dAunale.
King Alphonso and the Archduchess Marie
Christine will he married at Malrid on the 2sth of No
yember bride and her mother Will sail from Trieste
70 Barcelona Austrian war ship. conveyed by IA
Spanish squadron.
NJ Theirs is said to have left no writings,
except 1000 pages OF which TO form his
great philosop ph.cal work These deposited with
tho Bank OF England IN November. 1870, and are still
there
Mrs Cornell, the wife of the Republican
candidate for Governor Is mentioned by The Auourn
Adrerfser as the daughter OF Mr.. George Covert, an
Ilhacau who formerly lived In Auburn. and there
engaged IN the business Of manufacturing morocco.
The Czarewtch recently visited with King
Oscar H. the famous old castle OF Gpshon In Sweden
whore Eric XIV endured his long and severe imprtson
men The old keeper. who has been In ofce there for
nearly half century. showed the CEarewitch heap Of
straw and told him that his father tho present Czar
mad used his bed In the year 1888. Alexander In
that year accompanied his father Gear Nicholas. TO
Sweden and n during their visit 10 the Castle that
New-York tribune., 1879-09-17

NAV suppose, are fair men for their ciaSs'
They see the agony and the tears OF the mother
who held dying daughter in her arms ana
saw n husband murdered. They are touched
possibly, with some human feeling-what pru'e
would have none at such recital9 But they
retire 20 consider their verdict, aud the Demo
cratic party casts twelve votes, while the CIVIL
lied human being casts not one es, ,he
"man WAS guilty, they say to themselves, " but
"what good can be done by hanging INN now
" 1t cannot bring back the dead to llte. Du' i.
"vould hurt the Democratic party. 1t wonid
abe public acknowledgment that TINS niuiuoi
/" was in fact without excuse. Men at the
"Norih would say that it was poiitic'h "S-
sassination For the sake OF party, IL Is pe'-
ter to cast the mantle of torgetiulhess "Nc'
"the unhappy event. and bring IN quick yer
"dict of not guilty." The thing is done Nv
lization wonders whether county III M'SSis-
siDni is ponulated by hycnas only, Dut DEMO
cratic civilization mildly observes that ihe
better people of the South dSipproNe 'hoSo
"donlorable events" and some Democratic ell
tors grow red i'll the face If they are toiu 'n"'
thcy are the advocates of party OF assasSihS'
All men of the South, il is fatal mistake
that you make. The people OF TINS coai'!
do not wink at assassination as memo" vi
electing candidates. They have no disposition
to he ruled by the revolver and shotgun.
DO Won think that this nation OF conscientious
and intelligent men can ever be governed Dy
creatures OF whose deeds the Wild beasts OF
the wilderness would be ashamedi 1t will be
seen. when votes are counted, that every shot
aimed AT Il Republican at the South has Killed
more than one Democratic vote at the North
Make the South solid in that way, ana the
North will be solid to resist II. bullying does
not help, as the war should have taught.
Threats do not cover men Of Northern blood
The better class of citizens here, whatever
their political preferences ana Opinions aohoT
the fiendish crimes to which Democracy ut
the South has resorted, and there are thous-
ands of independent or Democratic votes IN
every Northern State which Will he cast
against the party which defends murder ana
aCquits assaSsins.