Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1879-01-20
Miseellalreous.
HOW 10 TREAT VISITORS

First, try to make them feel at home.
There is great difference in the capacity
OF people for doing this Some will fidget
over guest, and follow him up with such
degree of tenacity, that he cannot help
feeling as if he were in the way and in
danger Of upsetting the entire order of the
household. II doesn't help the matter
much to hear the host continually saving.
You must make yourself perfectly at
home" This may seem to convey
doubt whether you will find it possible to
do so. / have sometimes been tempted to
reply, "You must try to make yourself Just
as much at home as IL were not here''
II is not easy to say precisely, what it is
which makes one feel so much more at
ease in some houses than he does in others.
In certain places you are inclined to meas
ure your words and watch all your move
ments, for fear you may say something
that will be regarded as improper You
begin to count over in your mind the days
and weeks which must be endured before
the time comes for your visit to be over, as
boys watch the clock, longing for the hour
to strike when they will be let out of
school. And If the visit is dull to the
guest. it is probably somewhat heavy to
the host, although he may do his best not
to show it. ~
Again, do not be over anxious to find
employment and entertainment for your
visitors; leave them to themselves occa-
sionally. They may not care for your So
ciety all the time, but for a portion of the
day would prefer the solitude of their own
room. Place few nice books or periodi-
Gals there for their private solace when
they wish to be alone. There may not be
much in common between you and them
your pursits and tastes may be very unlike
your grade and culture may be different
from theirs; and if you are together. all
the time it might be hard to find anything
to talk about
After the pump is dry it is not worth
while to keep working at the handle II Is
trne that if your guest is man of tact, he
will naturally address himselfto such SUBJ
jects as are most familiar to you, and he
may manage to get something out of you
that is new and interesting. Having once
been entertained by an intelligent loco
motive driver, we learned more from him
of the habits and tricks of engines than
we could ever have extracted from books
Again, do not go out of your way to
provide costly luxuries for your guest,
which, perhaps. you can poorly afford,
and for which he may not specially care.
BY multiplying courses at your table
you only succeed in making the dinner
stately and tedious. Feed him with
food convenient for him." and make no
apologies. If he is used to palmer fare,
he will be more than content with what
you set before him, and if he is accus-
toned to higher style of living, he may
a Vx,;t osr IL
food.
Again, be careful to treat your poorer
and humber relations. whom YOU have
invited to your house, with due respect
and neutrality-suspicious. with any show of
patronage or any marks of neglect.
Whoever else may be your guests, let
there be nothing in yonr manner to in
dictate that you are ashamed of the good
old aunt who is visiting you, and the
truest way to accomplish this is not to be
ashamed of her. She may not dress in
the latest fashion, and her talk may be of
country matters-she may ask some queer
questions, and show her familiarity with q
style of life that is somewhat foreign to
that of your other visitors but If YOU are
not willing. under all circumstances, to
treat her with cordial civility, you should
not have asked her to your house. 1t is
possible that, after all, in the eyes of
your aristocratic friends, she may seem
to have more good sense than their host
No man ever loses caste, in the opinion of
the truly refined and cultivated, by show
ing courtesy towards such as move in a
lowlier sphere.
On the other hand, do not treat your
rich and famous visitors with over obsequi-
Gus attention. They will not thank you
for it, or respect you any the more for
your excess of difference. Above all. new
er allude to the fact of their visiting YOU
as an act of condescension on their part,
or, by any word or look indicate that, in
your opinion, they hold higher position
in society than you do. If you fall in with
all their prejudices. and echo all their sem
timents, and hang upon their lips, as the
bees "cling to every flower" they will
probably see through it all, and place you
accordingly.
They do not come to your house for the
purpose OF being put on a pedestal
and worshipped. And when they talk
with you, it is not for the sake of hearing
You respond invariably in the affirmative
to their opinions. Conversation on such
conditions is stupid business. Treat them
with all the respect that is due and no more.
They do not visit you as millionaires. but
as men. If they come to you in any other
capacity, their visit is not worth having,
unless. indeed, you wish them to remem-
ber you in their wills. oa H
Whoever may be your visitors, keep the
skeletons out Of sight. Family woes, and
trials, and misfortunes, If they are made
the staple of conversation, will cause the
visit of your guest to be very disagreeable.
If you have invited him for his aid and
sympathy, and he understands it to be so,
it is another matter. In this case he comes
for your comfort, and not his own pleas
ure. But, if he visits you out of pure
friendship, and expecting to have q good
time, lock up the closets where you keep
your skeletons
If they cannot be locked up, but will
persist in haunting the house, it is not the
time for entertaining strange guests or IA
miliar friends. 1t may not be quite so bad
as this, and still you may have some little
family jars or domestic anxieties--some
aches and pains of the body or the mind.
that cloud your spirits---if so, do not pa