Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-04-03
A FROZEN NOSE.

A FROZEN NOSE.
How it Won Widow.
A beautiful winter night: cold, clea
and cutting; cleaning with myriads Q
frosttiakes, which shone in the ali
spanked on the housetops and dance,
everywhere; and lighted by that grea
host Of scintillating stars which twinkle(
their happiest wrinkles, and seemee
bubbling over with merriment becaus,
it was Christmas eve. A spirit Of brisl
good humor pervaded every animated
thing. The policeman, buttoned to the
chin, paraded his beat with martial
air, on quick time, pausing only to ex,
change friendly word with the girl
who attended to the peanut.stand or &c
warm his hands at the charcoal furnace,
The very hack horses switched their
tails in glee and cantered off at brisker
gait, while the driver whistled his live.
LEST tune. a throng OF belated pur.
chasers crowded the streets, jostling one
another good.natu-edly, and bobbing in
and out OF toy shops and confection.
cries, burdened with great packages Of
Christmas goods.
We follow only two-a pair of genial
gentlemen, who threaded their way,
arm-in-arm with much difficulty. Bear.
ing no bundles to indicate that they had
been shopping, it was still apparent to
the practical observer that they had been
spending their money freely, and invest.
Ang literally at the numerous bar-rooms
which had come in their way. There
was thai suggestive disconrection in
their conversation, and that suspicious
unsteadiness in their walk, and that
abundant caution exercised in crossing
streets, which betray the convivialist in
spite Of all his efforts. Rather paradox
ically, the farther these cronies adj
vanced the less progress they made, as
their difficulties Of locomotion increased
at every step, and they found it necessa-
~ to make frequent halts in friendly
coffee houses, in order to rest their
weary limbs, warm their henumbed fin
gers, and sample the excellent egg-nog
with which they were continually tempt
ed.
Its long ways between saloons"
seems to be the burden of their remarks,
which, indeed, was but slight variation
in word and none at all in effect, from
that famous observation made nv the
governor of North Carolina to the gov
ernor of South Carolina, to-wit: 'It's
long time between drinks" Finally.
however, they visited their last saloon,
and despatched their last glass of egg
nog, after which, with their arms twined
more attectionately about each other,
they turned down Longworth street in
search CT the lodgings.
Sad to relate they had arrived at that
sad state of intoxication when we may
safely say they were fuddled, or-if the
expression is more forcible, most woe
fully drunk, and, being not accustomed
TO this condition, the finding of their
place Of abode was task of greater mag.
nitude then one would suppose. Through
pluck, perseverance or good luck, how
ever they at last found themselves gazing
stupidity upon tin sign inscribed
" Private Boarding." tackled. upon a
house, which they agreed, after heated
debate, was their own. They fumble6
q long time at the key hole before ef-
tectlng an entrance, and then, with
many maudlin good nights in the hall,
they sought their respective apartments
and beds.
Tucked away between her warm blank.
cts and blissfully ignorant of the dissi-
patton in which her boarders had plune-
ed, peacefully slept and sweetly dreamed
the huxom little widow who presided
over this house. Buxom she was. in
deed, and so decidedly handsome that /
it was beyond the pale of reason to
believe she would long remain in widows
weeds. So cheerful, so sprightly, 80 very
fascinating was she, that boarders f3ocked
to her little establishment, quite con-
tented, if they should receive no more
substantial nourishment, to subsist on
he smiles and sweet words of the widow
lamar.
The festive gentlemen already intro.
luced, Jack Rogers and Bob Carter, print.
r and sewing-machine agent, respect
vely, were both widow-struck, They
at at her table daily, quaffing insipid
ottee and devouring doubtful hash, but
uperlatively happy while basking in the
light OF her resplendent eyes, and the
unshine of her smiles. Each of them
:eally had designs on the widows heart
md home, and each anticipated the time
When he should possess the plump little
ady with all her charms and reign A
ora and master of the clearinghouse.
Rogers was quite gentleman, who
Vorshiped his inamorota in silence. He
!as possessed of numerous manly attrac-
IONS, such as superb form, piercing
ye and a luxuriantly FLOWING beard,
'ut, as II to mock the advantages already
estowed upon him, nature had been
ather extravagant in the construction
I MS nose. This nose, which performs
n important part of our story. is proba- !
~ worthy of detailed discription. bnt ;
ne nrletness of our narrative precludes
nythlng more than the observation that !:
! was a remarkably prominent nose, of
ae no n1 persuasion, which was pecu- ,
'atay aaapted to pulling, blowing and :
BE that as it NAV. the ;
ldow had been heard to remark fRat It :
'as well-disposed nose, Indicative Of
Intelligence and pleasant dispos;t;on 8
pom which hint, fragile as it may seem =
you, Jack founded his hopes. :
Bob Carter, the garrulous sewing
achlne man, was dapper little fellow, y
'nhdent, conceited and efeminately
retty!. He attacked the widows affec. :
ons In a dashing way, which, after all, Z
me proper mode Of attack, and was i
'aay to swear that he could have her
Ina at the asking, any time. So fully t
'"t ca was he OF this, in his own mind, 81
Ia laS !, ne did not regard anybody else in +
- ngnt OF a competitor at all. and
;tle1ore ne was on the kindest terms =
an, an;ft p9at; easy Jack, who, despite his
I'VE eaten the % li, gGed a,, feeling cuold
alousy. "t''rs w III ms !
AS to the willy widow, she encou,a,ed n
em both; but, sly coquette tha+ sI,a y
Vs. she encouraged everybody, and it q