Daily Republican., 1879-05-22
HI m OROUS.

ABOUT TUE CAT.-While celebrating
holiday a man at Santa Roa tied blue
light TO a cats tail. The frightened
animal crawled under a neighboring
house, which caught fire in consequence
and burned down.. After the confiagra-
ton the remorseful nian hunted up the
unfor .unate neighbor and began to ex-
press regrets. To his astonishment,
the other led him into corner and EN-
braced him with every appearance OF
the highest qualification. "Capltal
idea, that about the cat, he whisper
ed, "You see, business got to be so
Internal bad that insured for $25, 900,
in order to be all ready for the celebra-
tion, but somehow, none Of my fire
works amounted to anything-had 10
man candles and a bonfire on the roof,
too. Never thought of cat. Magni-
fcent idea, by George but look here
hope it didn't spoil any little game Of
your own, ehs"
We publish this little incident mere
ly to show that sympathy is not al
ways necessary, and that even cats
NAV be made useful these hard times.
THE HONEY -BEE.--The honey-bee is
an inhammable critter, sudden in his
impresshuns and hasty in his conclu-
sions, or end. His natral disposishun is
warm cross between red pepper in the
| pod and tusil oil, and his moral bias IL
'sget out of mi way" They have a
long boldly, divided in the middle by a
waist spot, but their physikal impor-
tance lies at the terminus, or their
suburb, in the shape Of jav"lin, IL
always loaded, and enters man as a
thought, as spry as litenin', and as
nll oph melankolly az the toothake.-
Bees never argy case; they settle awl
of their differences ofopinyun bi letting
their javelin fly, and are az certain to
bite az a mule IL. Bees are not long
|lived-I kant state jist how long their
lives are, but know from instinkt and
observashun, that emmy kritter, be he
bug or be he devii, who is mad all the
time and stings every good chanch he
kan git, generally dies early.-(Josh.
BWinas.)
We have heard of ways and means
of overcoming difficulties, says cores
pondent, but facts are stubborn things
stubborn as donkey-as the follow
ing incident will show: "a few days
ago gentleman living not far from
Reading purchased to all appearance a
good bred and we'll fed donkey, and
proceeded to test its capabilities by
having it harnessed to cart. Aftel
driving a shoct distance public house
was reached, when Neady convinced
his owner that he was no teetotaler, al
he stopped suddenly at the door, ano
no persuasion could prevail upon hin
to D ASS it. EvcAtually the owner callec
upon some men to put their shoulders
to the wheel, which they did in earn
est, but pass the public house the don
KEY would not. When the animal fount
| he was not to indulge i'm his usual bev
erage, he lay down in the road an'
kicked with Indignation at the treat
ment he was receiving. The explana
ton is that the donkey's former owne
never passed the public house withou
: obtaining some refreshment and ais
treating the faithful animal to beer an'
sopped bread, which Neddy evident!
enjoyed, and was afterwards able ant
willing to do a good days work."
PLAIN PREAcHNG.-A clergyman ii
Wiltshire was visited by friend frol
/ London, and the London preacher eS
pressed desire to preach to the me
: of Willis. The country parson at las
: consented, but honestly told his frien
a that he feared his style would fly owe
tho heads of his hearers. With man
resolves to be ''plain," the oity parse
mounted the pulpit; but soon indeed h
. asked the people to "draw an inferenc
t from the text" Next day the t~
friends were in the garden together
!, and the gardener passed. "rhomai
said the vicar, "here is the gentlema
), who preached. He told us to draw a
Q inference from the text to US yesterday
What do you think he meant?' "Wel
: SIR" replied the gardener, 81 can't ex
!. !. actly say; but of this am sure, tina
e if there's horse in the parish ca
n draw it, tits our Blackbird.
LIVELY FOR THE VlsIToR.-They tell
y y story in the Temple of an eX Chief 6a
!. on, that one who wished him to resg
waited on him and limited att, suggts
= ing it for his own sake, entirely with
view to the prolongation of his own va
). u-d life etc. The old man arose an
said, with hia grim dry gravity, "Wi
. YOU dance with me?" The visiter stoo
e aghast as the Lord Chief Baron, VIII
4 prded himself particularly on his leg
began to caper about with certal
:, Youthful vivacity. Seeing his vlsltc
standing surprised, he capsred up
him and said, ""ell, il YOU won
-. dance with me, will you box with met
ID And with that he squared up to hin
it and, half in jest and half in earnes
fairly boxed him out of the room. III
Or old Chief Baron had no more vlslto
" inquiring after his Lealth ana s"eees
- ing his retirement.
I An old bachelor was recently heal
saving to "young lady There
:, more iewelry worn nowadays than wht
) was young; but there's one piece
always admired, which | don't oitt
Sc. pow." "What is that - ask
, "miss." ga thimble," was the repl
"I'm poor strolling player, groa
II ed a "seedy" looking fellow to gent
man on country road, "and do not a
for money, but only for some left
clothes" "My good man." rejoin
81 the latter, "I'm sorry | can't ass
y; Won. Times are so bad that wear I
~ left-off clothes myself
"Some things" said an excited Ra