The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-10-08
Wit and HumOr,
Small for its eyes-A young owl

a sg Wit and Humor. .....
Small for its eyes-A young owl.
Frailty, thy name is savings bank.
The fastest city in the world-Electricity.
Does standing joke eyer require q
seat2 r... -. .... 49, T.. ..
The sickle that cuts down the green
things-1cicle. sa
You can tell a young man raising a
moustache as fuzz you can see.
Some one suggests that England should
establish a Znluogical garden. IL
olive something sweet to tell thee,
love-" said the honey-bee to his mate.
We never heard of man SO mean that
a fly wouldn't become attached to him.
The man who finds pocket-book with
cash in it doesn't look at paper for three
weeks. 49,.
An Albany genius calls new suspen-
der which has been patented "The Con-
science Suspender.'' It owes it's name to
its extreme elasticity. II
The voice of the young man who got
away with three hundred and ninetv-six
clans at clambake is heard in the land,
and it calls tor the doctor.
The climax of Observation-Disclosures. To
suppose that you have left your watch
at home, aud pull it out of your pocket
to see if you have time to 60 back and
get it.
'''rhe mills of the gods grind slowly"
This is all because the hands are paid bv
the day. Will the gods ever learn that it
is to their interest to let out work by
contract?
If man undertakes to travel on the
line between truth and dishonesty. saws
Josh Billings, he is snre to stumble and
we all kno on which side ov the line he
will fall.
An editor being asked, ''Do hogs paw"
says great many do not. They take
the paper several years, and then have
the postmaster send it back marked ssre-
fused.
lin pursuing my theme, should like
to cover more ground-'' ''Buy shoes
big enough for your feet, and you'll do
It," was the impudent sugges ton from
the crowd. -.
II have nothing but my heart to give
you," said spinster to a LAWYER Who
had concluded SUIT for her. "Well, -
said the lawyer, gruf1y, 60 to my clerk,
he takes the fees,
mo sir,' said the gentleman from
Pittsburgh, II was not in the war, but
nay brother was and he was wounded.
All! indeed. Seriously wounded9""Yes,
sir, he was shot in the horse.
IF you want a pug dog, madame,
what is pug9" said a dog-fancier to a
would-be purchaser, 'sthis here ones the
dog; why, his nose is just a. turnin'
somersets 'atween his ears all the time.
At Bullong: Paterfamilias (who will
do the Parleyvooing himself instead of
leaving it to his daughter: "Oh.er-i'ai
bezwang doom boutail de- de-de here girls,
what's the French for Eau de Cologne?''
"Julius, why didn't you oblong your
stay at the springs2'' "Kase, Mr.. Snow,
dey charge too much" CHOW SO, julius p
why, de landlord charged dis colored
individual wild stealing de spoons
Priest: You drunken sot The very
beasts of the field give you lesson.
They leave off when they have quenched
their thirst: Paddy: Yes, yer riv'rence.
But where did the 6astes :ver come across
a strame O. whiskey.
Customer: "What did you think of the
bishops sermon on Sunday, Mr.. Wigsbya"
Hairdresser: "Well, really, sir, there
was gent sittin' in front of me as 'ad
his air parted that crooked that could
not ear q word" -....-.
,a There is village in New Hampshire
which has produced IS editors. It was
in allusion to this circumstance that
pious deacon remarked: Eyes, there
are 20 of 'em, but as they've all left the
town, I reckon the Lord won't lay it up
agin u.s. s,...s ID. =.
ri "Im ruta. baga, and here's where /
plant myself, said tramp as he entered
farmhouse near Freeport, Ill.,, and seat
ed himself at the table. 1--WE alle1s bile
ours" said the farmers wife, and soused
him with dishpanful of boiling water.
At party on Nelson street the other
evening the conversation appeared to be
dying out, when bilious man suddenly
observed to lady on his right: II don't
think they make pills as large as they
used to-" After that the conversation
went out again. -
A suitable and smart reply: Young
Vicar facetisusly): "Well, John, how
smart you are this morning; who gave
you the new clothes2" John Qaughing):
"Ees, sir, the same as gave you yourn-
the parish, sir" Vicar retires somewhat
discounted.
A father said to an old acquaintance
who came to condole with him on the nm
manageableness of his two sons, who had
committed burglary in the next town,
and both had been sentenced to prison
1T IS pretty rough on me to have them