The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-11-07
Items.

us SDU, WuO was ~ hh 'ih Nbtehs
Improving my time was The reply
-Ifa person buys two apples and eats
both, how many will yet remain? OF cores
there W i'll be two left.
What is the difference between spi
der and duck? One has its feet perpetu-
ally on a web, and the other web perpelu-
ally on lis feet.
A boys idea Of having tooth drawn
may be summed as follows The doctor
hitched fast on to me, pulled his best, and
just before it killed me, the tooth came
out
What is the difference between piece
of honey comb aud a black eye? One is
produced by laboring bee, and the other
10y a belaboring.
Kidney Complaints
of all descriptions are relieved at once, and
speedily cured by Kidney-Wort. 1t seems
intended by nature for the cure f all dis
eases of the kidneys caused by weakness and
debility. Its great tonic powers are espec-
isl iy directed to the removal Of this class of
Sease. Try itto-day.
Can you see anything in my eye-it
feels very sore? asked a lazy, good-for-nOth-
ing student of Oliver Wendell Holmes Il
can see very bad pupil was the reply of
the Professor.
Mrs. Partiugton says that the coal port
| ers may say what they like about religious
| tracks, but she thinks, in her opinion, that
| there's no tracks 50 suggestive Of solemn
| thoughts rs the railroad tracks.
New silks are worn with heavy reps,
and are very lustrious,
The sailor collar is worn with dresses of
all kinds in Paris.
Ribbons in millinery are to be much
| wider this winter than those used thus far
| this season.
Stripes are much in favor in ribbons
and all materials pertaining to millinery as
| well in customes.
low coiiinre, are now quite in fashion,
and ilwers are put on near the right ear, SO
as to droop on the neck.
| The brocaded satins for combination
costumes show a variety Of designs among
which are Japanese taus and birds.
"A new style of French chintz worn at
| the French water places, has the stems of
the leaves in the pattern wrought in gold
Birds, or parts of birds, are favorite
trimmings for new hats and bonnets Some
| llultS as bS lWtlNt Huumluk
| birds are seen on one hat.
Great Blood Tonic for the cure of all
blood diseases-'Dr. Lindsey Blood Search
er
An exchange gives reasons for not pub
fishing poetic efiusion as follows: The
rhythm sounds like pumpkins rolling over Il
barn floor, while some lines appear to have
been measured with yard. stick, and 9TH
ers with ten-tOot pole
-Artemus Ward tells good story con-
cernng the production of the Lady of Lyons
at the Salt Lake City theatre; An aged
Mormon arose and went out with twenty
four wives, angrily stating that he wouldn't
sit and see play where man made such a
cussed fuss over one woman.
-Unequaled in effectiveness, unap-
preached in cheapness and unrivalled in
popularity is DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup. %
cts per bottle; large size, so cts.
II am glad this coffee don't owe me any
thing said book. keeper to his wife the
other morning at breakfast. 'Why SOL was
the response. Because | don't believe it
) would ever settle
Why are widowers like old clothing
; Because they need repairing. (re-pairing,)
Madam, your boy can't pass at half
fare, he's too large said the conductor of a
railroad train whicn had long been detained
on the road by the snow He may be too
, large now,' replied the matron, but he was
small enough when we started The con-
ductor gave in.
"A bashtul young man escorted an equal
ly bashfuI young lady to her home. As they
apprt ached the dwelling of the young dam
' sci, she said entreatingly 'Zekil, don't tell
anybody you saw me home = 'Sary,' said
' he emphatically, don't you mind | am Us
much ashamed of it as you are!
For fifty years Sellers Liver Pills have
IS brought health and happiness in thousands
of homes Ask your druggist for them.
!. Tell me- he said to the doctor, tell me
d frank y is there any hope?' Yes, sir, :
r great deal. The statistics show that ont
out every hundred afft cted with your dis
ease recovers,' Well" You are the hun.
e dredth | have treated for the malady, and
d have not cured one of them
N If the man who would rather subscrib,
h for a New York weekly newspaper tina
ID doesn't interest him, simply because it
in larger and cheaper than his local paper, vii
-, take the trouble to come into our office vi
~ will give him a whole armful of old papers
lie lie could not ask for anything cheaper.
=, Guard Against Disease.
lie If you find yourself getting bilious, heat
es heavy, mouth foul, eyes yellow, kidney
disordered, symptoms of piles tormentini
y you, take at once a few doses of Kidney
ID Wort 1t is natures great assistant. Us
ne it as an advance guard-don't wait to &c
III down sick.
Old Tom Purdie, Sir Walter Scott's fav
orite attendant, once said, Them are fin
novels of yours, Sir Walter; they are jus
invaluable TO me- L am glad to hear
returned the novelist. Yes, SIR said Ton
as for when | have been out all day hard q
er work, and come home tired, and take u
K. one O your novels, Pm asleep directly
We CLEANING WASH RINGERs.-Try a fe
ot drops of ammonia on damp cloth; and sc
0d how nicely it cleans the rubber rollers {
~ your wash wringer,
20 COOKIES. One cup of sour cream, or
and half cups sugar, one teasp0ontul sod
Ne nutmeg, and flour TO roll out stiff if swe
tn cream Is used add two teaspoonfuls cream
he tartar
nd Ounce JELLY-Quarer and core b
Ter do not peel the fruit cover with cold wat
"a and let cook till 'mushy : let drip throug
fine hair sieve, then put in a flannel bag al
allow TO drip all night into an earthel
bow ; boil hard for twenty minutes II
careful to SKIM, add white granulated SUI
ar, almost pound for pound, then boil gen
Is. ly for ten minutes longer. Have tumble
-, standing or wet cloth to prevent crack in
~ Alter putting the Jelly in'tumblers let stsl
'm in sun till it jellies, then dip writing pap
he in white of egg and cover Jelly.
lai If YOU call on your druggist for ID
ou Sellers Cough Syrup We pledge imued
ed ate relefand cure on short notice, .
op ,,,c.,.,