The Osceola times., 1879-05-10
DRIFTwOOD.

l
THERE are 100000 landowners in
little France.
WHATS the man yelling At :" asked
farmer Of his boy. Why" chuckled
the boy, che, yelling at the top Of his
voice."
The Canadians did not yell sor "pro-
lection until they learned that their
new Governor General Lorne wrote
spring poetry.
The daily consumption OF milk in
New York city approaches 400, 900
quartz, and at least $25 600, 900 IL In.
vested by farmer, in this industry.
CURIOUS transformations: When Q
pretty bonnet becomes pretty woman;
when a man turns s.horse into pasture
when door Is found to be ajar.
ST. Louis has store over which there
Is this sign; Schlochenhuvser, Max
esteinbeck, Eintendoerfier & Co." This
reminds us Of the days Of old long dgn.
From the fact that Nero Addled while
Rome was burning, We .may infer that
business had been pretty dull, and be
had insured the old place for all 1t was
worth. at
"WHKN do you expect TO 90 back,
Mike 2 asked one old exile OF another.
"If live till l doye. and God knows
whether will or not, l intend to vixt
ould Ireland once more before / lave
this country"
Two darkies were vaunting their
courage. ~ INIT feared O. nothing,
isn't" said one. "Den Sam, reckon
you isn't feared to loan me q dollar Z"
"No, Julius, I isn't feared to loan you
dollar, but ! does hate to part wid an ole
iren' forebber."
CURIOUS, but We never saw this notice
in any OF our country exchanges: "OW.
ing TO press OF poetry, large number Of
advertisements are unavoidably crowded
out, but will positively appear in our
next Puck.
HE sentence of the court IT," said
popular Irish msgittrate named Porter,
to . notorious drunkard, "that you be
confined In Jail for the longest period
the law allows; and ! hope you will
spend your time In cursing whisky." ~
will, cir and Porter, too"
A SHORT time ago q little boy went
with his father to see colt. He patted
the colts head and made quite . fuo
over II, until finally the stable. man told
him to be careful that the colt did not
turn round and kick him. When the
little chap went home his mother asked
him what he thought about the colt.
81 like him pretty WE'LL was the reply.
He's real tame in front but he's awful
wild behind"
APATRIoTIC Hibernian, after listening
for some time TO q recitation OF Iish
bulls amid general laughter, cried indig.
nantiy: Faith, Mr.. A., an do 70
know what | think?" "Why. indeed,
what do you think, Mr.. d." "Suse,
sir; and do ye know that think, indade,
that not more than one half of thefe lies
that they tell 'bout the Irish is true"
This was unanimously pronounced the
best of the lot.
AN art.critic, who hiss On unfortunate
habit Of occasionally indulging In moro
wine than his health demands, recently
determined, one day after luncheon, to
pay a professional visit to q private art
collection. Arrived in the first room,
he found himself opposite large minor.
Mechanically he drew out his pocket.
book and therein wrote: "No. 1-Study
Of head unnamed an old topper. Fud.
died condition excellently rendered;
m st like a portrait. Seem to Be
acquainted with the original"
THE ingenuity Of the slave mother 10
getting her little by to rug on the way
to freedom by throwing ball forward
for him toget has bsen surpassed by that
OF French eoverness, whose employer,
very proper lady, said to her: "I am
shocked to find that my daug ghter has been
receiving letters in French from . young
man" Governess-" Pardon, madam:
it i, only my little ruse to cheat NAM.
selle into study. When she would reply
TO an unknown lover-a Frenchmsn-
mon Dieu; how quickly she will learn
my language F"