Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-03-30
Jokes and Witicisms.

Wueu young man is esCOrtlng his
girl on one arm and her mamma on the
other it is remarkably how the vigor will
go out Of the arm hooked to the mamma
and go into the arm hooked to the girl.
This is one of the curious things in ply
siology which our scientists ought to
wrestle wlth.-Nevdrk GAIL.
At midnight, in his downy bed, John
Turk, Of Iowa, was dreaming of how he
had locked his two daughters in a room
upstairs. At the same hour thew lowered
themselves to- the ground, eloped with
their lovers, and were next heard of in
Chicago with couple Of drummers.
A cats eyes are said to be the largest
at midnight. We never made an exami-
nation, but we are positive that It's voice
is about seventeen times larger at that
hour than at any other period during the
twenty four..
Ayoung man wrote to an editor asking
where hellis. The editor replied, "Dont
know; was never there. Ask your minis
ter" And he wondered what made the
minister so cool toward him afterwards.
Red is certainly the most exhilaratine
of colors. It attracts the infants gaze
| more surely than any other hue, the small
boy is never 80 ecstatic as when disport-
ing himself in red-top long boots; no
color'is so suggestive of the noise and
tumult of the battlefield. It is the color
OF the conf1agation. it is the life-blood's
color. And the writer is never so pleased
as When his writings are read.
When DIR. Mary Walker was lately
arrested by the police and taken before a
magistrate for wearing pants, it is said
that she became fearfully excited and out
OF breath, so that her pants were heard all
over the courtroom.
When you are told that man spent
several years on the bench, it is we'll
enough to enquire if he was a Judge or a
cobbler?
"Have you cologne" asked she. mo,
ma'am," replied the druggist; II have no
scents at all" She said he didn't look as
though he had.
A Michigan farmer supplied himself
with six dogs, to keep the place clear of
tramps, and then he found that the dogs
ate as much as ten tramps.
| Do you really. truly love me
More than any girl you know?
Well, then, hug nae just little,
If you must before you 70.
Fold your arms around me tighter,
| Have you never Rugged before?
Draw me nearer, draw me closer,
Can't you hug me any more?
A lady taking tea at small company,
being very fond of hot rolls, was asked to
have another. "Really, cannot" she
modestly replied. 81 don't knew how
many I have eaten already" 81 do,''
unexpectedly cried juvenile upstart,
whose mother had allowed him seat at
table. "You've eaten eight, I've been
countin'!"
If there is any time in a mans life
when he wishes that ne had been born
OF the hairpin- wearing sex, it is that
morning when he awakes IN strange
hotel and remembers that he has no out
ton hook to fasten his CATERS WITH
Syracuse Times. ...
Echo Of a variety stage green-room.
s'That woman tries 70 look down on me-
She's made money in the song and dance
biz, and puts on airs. She says Pm no
lady. But am, and don't you forget it;
and if she gives me any more of her
music I'll give her the grand bounce''-
Louisville Courier Journal.
| When woman combs her back hair
into two ropes, holds one in her mouth
until she winds the other on her back
comb, and then finds that she has lost her
last hair-pin, she feels that her sex needs
two mouths-0ne to hold the hair in, and
the other to make remarks with.
Every married man should join some
good society, and as good as any is the
society of his wife and children.-Ne,o
York News.
| Jerusalem Another volume of poetry
Another miserable, utterly unreliable,
pernicious mess of undiluted hog wash
Who in thunder buys such nauseating
twaddle9 Well, it's got to have notice.
Here goes: 1--WE have seldom perused
anything SO tenderly suggestive, so
ethereally soulful, so highly calculated
to WOO the mind from earthly grovel.
ments as the elegantly bound and hand.
somely illustrated volume, which," etc.
etc.
| When dog snaps at a fly that has
been fooling round him for four hours
and misses it. he feels just like a girl
who pours the full tide of her affection
over young man and suddenly discov.
ers that it won 'tsoak in.--Andreu's Basa,'
| A butcher sold sailor aham on credit
but finding in a few days he had gone
to sea, he growled, IF I'd known hi
wasn't going to pay for it I'd charged
him threepence more pound for it, the
: rascalw
The man who objects to allowing fftee1
IN eoboollo-.n Ia l.