The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-07-16
Miscellaneous G0sslD.

The goat always gives evidence in re
buttal.
Many young man dates his happiness
from his wedding day-and many anoth-
er don't.
1t is an old saying, but very pretty
one, that blush is like pretty girl, fol
1t becomes a woman
An exchange tells of an Alabama lady
who cries nearly all the time and yet
tat. Her fat is laid on in tiers.
The Germans, the world over celebrated
for their thrift, have a maxim that ''paint-
ing is no expense
Mathematlcians must stand one side
whe the green grncer's clerk takes his
pencil from behind his big ear and pro-
ceeds to divide seven by one.
At the close of the sermon the minis
ter became impressive. Raising his voice,
he salu:-'Judgment! Judgment" and
small boy in the vestlbule shouted "Out
on tirstr'
Tourist (who is staying in the neigh
borhood for the ishing): els it possible
that you KEEP the pig in the house with
you?" Pat: "And why not SUR {?
Sure, isn't there Everything in it that the
cr'athur would want? 2"
"John, did you go around and ask how
Old Mrs. Jones is this morning, as I told
on to do last night?" eyes, sir" swell
what's the result?" "She said that seeing
you'd had the impudence to send to ask
how old she was, she'd no objection to
telling you that she's seventy four"
A cabinet m ker can make a flower
stand the hottest day ir the season, but
Washer-woman can't make linen collar
stand more than fifteen or twenty minutes
after the mercury crawls out at the ton
OF the thermometer and begins to climb
the lightning rod.
Tourist; 'Well, my man, what wav do
| go to inverness? Tonald without OPEN
ing his eyes) "Straight on Tourist. -
you can show me a lazier trick than that
I'll give you half crown" Tonald
l"lthont opening his eyes) ;'Just drap it
in ma pouch"
INA, as sister Floy ever travelled any?"
"No, child, no.. "Then, when was lvin'
under the sofy Sunday night, and sister
and MIR. John come in from church and
was settin' in the big rocking-cheer,
how come her to say that the incest land
she ever las in aas Lapland?'
Too many of us are in the very doubt
tul position of the poor fellow who
writhed under numerous yosslpy reports,
and who at last published a card of de-
lance In which he declared that not
single one of the lies In circulation about
him we're true.
larger beer seller. being asked by
Peddler IT he wanted spices or cloves,
the following colloquy took place: ''Vat
tor | want um?'' asked the proprietor.
''lo take away the smell of beer from the
breath, OF course" exclaimed the peddler.
''Take away dot smell of beer!" ex-
CLAIMED the man behind the counter:
my Colt! you got Something's vot makes
der smell stay on, buys him!'
A clock made entirely OF bread has
lately been received in Milan, from Peru.
1t was constructed by an Indian, who.
having no means OF purchasing material,
saved portion of the soft part of his
daily bread for the purpose. He solidi-
lied it with a certain salt which rendered
1t very hard and insoluble in water. The
clock keeps good time, and the case. also
OF hardened bread, displays artistic tai
emit.
They are so precocious iu the neighbour
hood OF Worcester, Mass! my little
seveu-yearold girl" rites a friend, twas
In the s1ttlng-room alone with her uncle.
and dreamily looking from the window.
Without turning her head. she said:
Uncle Horace, eight and seven make
fifteen, don't they?' He replied that she
was right. ''Then," said she, in half So
llloquy, ct is only eight years before
shall have beau, and, oh! / dread it."
A manufacturer of cod-liver oil thus
detes competition: "The Goldfish in the
open sea are pursued by whales, SHARKS.
etc. and live in continual. terror; hence,
tions' nave liver diseases, jaundice, and
the rest. l avoid the mistake of ordina-
ry manufacturers by obtaining nv fish
Where no marine monster can gain access.
They live peaceably and die healthy.
This is why my oil is the best"
Robert Burdette, upon his return to his
sanctum at Burlington. says: 81 have
acquired such easy, familiar relations
with the people of the house that the
baby has already emptied the ink into
OF of my boots and the mucllage into
the other, and is drawing a map OF
HIawkeye creek on my coat with piece
OF beet gristle and glass of milk. His
mother n tells me I should not let him do
u, ana perhaps she is right, but Whit am
! TO 40! lie seems to enjoy it, and |
Know ! 40, and what was this world
made tor If 1t wasn't for pleasureY'