Daily Republican., 1879-06-12
HUMOROUS.

A DIsaUsTED DARKEY.-"Sartin, boss,
shine 'em up in less'n no time" said
he. as we mounted to the hurricane
deck of his place Of business.
"Wall, yes, boss; not been here long,
but Use gettin' insight inter de ways
mighty fast. De ways here, sab, is
different TO what dey is down in ole
Mississip. Bin in Mississip, sab Fine
ole State, sab %
1.-The colored people here appear to
be quite as happy as in any part OF the
world" we ventursd to remark.
"No, sab beg leave to diffah ; you's
not on the inside, sab dar's too much
elevation. Las week, you know, sab,
do culled folks had ball-quits high
toned affair, sab. Well, l engaged a
young lady for the party, sab one dat
/ looked on as the pride OBJ de county,
sab. l put on clothes, sah-clothes
dat don't every day see de light OBJ de
sun-and went to de residence OBJ de
gal. :,
81 rived at de 'pinted time. De gal
was in the bes' room in her bes' close,
waitin' my arrival on the scene. DE
ole man was dar, an de ole woman
also fggered in the tableau, with few
juvenile supernumry members OBJ de
family.
"Miss Augusta smiled on me in dat
meltin' way OBJ de eyes dat allurs guv
me a movement OBJ de heart. was in
teriuced to de more influential men,
bers ob de household, an de discourse
was agreeable. Presently l suggested
dat it would be well to be- movin' for
de party, an Miss Augusta rose in all
do pomp and circumstances OBJ her high
priced attire.
"We arrived on de stoop OBJ de door,
an offerin my arm, l supposed we
should progress. No, sab, not bit OBJ
it. Dat gal receded. She rose erec' to
an astonishin' height, an as she trans
fixed me wild her gaze, she uttered desc
memorable words 'Whar's de trans
potation ?
"'De what? p says 1, feelin' dat suf-
fin was goin' wrong.
"'De trans -pot-ation. Where's de
Transportation 7
"'IVhat's de Transportation p says |.
"'De wehicle-whar' de vehicle ~
says she.
"T don't know muffin bout no We
hicle, says |.
"sWhar's de kerridge p says she.
"'De kerridge,' says |. i haven't
seen no kerridge.'
'Mistah Berry, does you pretend to
tell me dat you've come to take me to
de ball widout kerridge p and she be-
came of still greater height.
"'Why, OBJ course says |. Il tho't
we could walk. Down in ole Mississip
de gals think muffin of goin' miles an
miles,
$50 you expect me to hoof it, Mis-
tab Berry You tell me about de gals
in Mississip, Mistah Berry; dc de gals
then know bout proper attire, Mistah
Berry p
"An' she guv a sort OBJ kick an a
sling Oh her body, an trailed out bout
four yards OBJ train.
| De hle HAL, all oo VIC "ou"hj VA
all de rest now put in dar 'pearance,
and says de ole man, What's all dis
confusion of tongues ?
"Mistah Berry doesn't consider de
honah sufficient to warrant him in de
outlay necessary for de furnishing OBJ
propah transportation" said Miss Au-
gusta.
"'Sah !. said de ole man.
"'Sah !! said de ole woman
"'Sah = said all de little members.
81 said nutfin'.'
"Does de niggah 'spect he's gwine
to lead our darter off on de hoof like
she was COW ?" said de ole woman.
"'Who do you call niggah, ole wo.
man p says |. why, Pse drove better
lookin' heifrrs nor yours to de plow in
ole Mississip.'
"De gal shreikt
"' Dar you talk to me an my darter
in dat bitumininous manner ~ said de
ole man, an he guv me lift wid his
old stogas that raised me oft de stoop,
an followed it up with numerous ob de
same dat was much assistance to me in
gittin' out de gate.
"Dar's too much elevation, sab,
creepin' into culled society. | turns
. my back to it, sab ~
How MEN GET AHEAD.-A son Of
Maine who went West in early youth
, and has there attained wealth and al
| honorable position, returned last sum
, mer to visit his old home. At the vii
lage store he saw an old man whom ht
J had known in his younger days. He
q accosted him, but was not recognized
$ $50 you don't remember me-" he said
? 'I'm John r."
"You !" exclaimed the old man, 'yor
don't mean to tell me that you are JohI
RI"
81 certainly am" said the visitor
shaking him by the hand, land Pm
very glad to see you again.
"Well," persisted the old man, I"
, neper did. TO think that this is you
They tell me that you've grown awfu
e rich, john"
- John admitted that he had "savet
= something"
f "And they say that you're the Presi
i. dent of a railroad, and get a big sal
. ary."
1 Again John had to admit that rumoI
Q spoke true.
/. "I'm glad on it, John! Pm glad OF
q it, my boy 1t beats all what circum
\ stances and cheek will do for a man.
). Tx.
: An art critic, who has an unfortunate
,. habit of occasionally indulging in more
;. wine than his health demands, recent
= ly determined, one day after luncheon
. to pay professional visit to private
t art collection. Arrived in the frs