The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-05-30
ITEMS.

A ship that has mates and no captain
I-Courtship.
No man ever regretted that he was
vlrtuous and honest in his youth, and
kept aloof from idle companions.
Stick to one thing until it is done,
and done well. The man who chases
two hares not only leaves one of them,
but is pretty sure to lose the other also.
You ought not to ask odds of any one.
Like blOoded horse, all you have a
right to demand Is to be put even on the
Whllnetrees. Alter that show your met
tie.
Adrunken congressman said to Horace
Greeley, one day, I'm a selfmade man.
Then, sir" replied the philosophical
Horace, 1.-The fact relieves the Almighty
OF great responsibility"
Ayoung mother has written a poem on
Baby" the third stanza of which has
been much admired. 1t runs:
Doxery. dOOdle-um, dinkle- UNI dun,
LONE 70 Its muzzery. muZZery mum,
IlZzery, livery, boozers boo,
No baby SO sweet and putty as 90.
Among the Zulus, nation of the CAT
fires, according to etiquette, the mother
in-law cannot face the son-in-law. but
must hide or pretend to hide, when she
sees him. In this country the custom is
reversed. 1t is the son-in-law who does
the lodging.
No man possesses real strength of
mind if he cannot, after having heard all
that others have to say, resolve, and
firmly resolve what to do, and carry his
resolution into effect. Take counsel of
others; profit by their experience and
wisdom; but above all take counsel with
yourself: make upyour mind what to do
in this world, and-do it.
One hundred and sixty-two authentic
cases of living burial are put on record
by the eminent French physician, DIR.
JOsat. The period of Inconsistencies
before burial, in these cases, lasted from
two hours to forty-two. The cases of ap-
parent death were these: Syncope, hys-
terra, apoplexy, narcOtism, conclusion
OF brain, anaesthOsia, lightning and
drunkenness.
The MiddletOwn, N. Y, Argus records
that Il young lady and gentleman of that
village "philOpenad" fifteen years ago,
and although they have met frequently
since then they have both been so wary
that neither of them was ever Caught
until few days since, when the gentle
man handed the lady letter from her
husband, and she unwittingly took it.
The Rev. G. 3. Atwell, an an aged
clergyman of Pleasant Valley, Conn,
who died recently, was as well known
for his original epigrammatic speech as
for his goodness. Once when asked for
blessing at a public dinner he said:
adam sinned by eating and Noah by
drinking. Save us, Lord, from the sin Of
the one and the folly ofthe other. Amen"
Down in Chicago a genius has invent
ed a corset with hugging power offrOm
one pound to one hundred and thirty.
The continuance goes off with a spring,
and phonOgraph attachment murmurs
"Ah, my darling" at the instant the
pressure begins. 1t was thought there
was fortune in these corsets but they
do not sell well because their breath
does not smell of cloves.
A young woman who had never learn
ed the gentle art of cookery, being desir-
Gus of impressing her husband with her
knowledge and diligence, manages to
have the kitchen door ajar on the day
| after their return from the bridal trip,
and just as her lord comes in from the
| office, eXclaims loudly: "Hurry up,
Eliza, dot Haven't you washed the let
tuce, yet? Here, give ME the soap"