The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1879-08-16
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

through Iuu!and
The summer solstice is upon US; summer glad,
and SKINNER sorry - { iHcipRdH Con0cfcdL
Brown reading money article: money easy
on call" "An internal lie; couldn't get any
even on yell
General Burnside recently reviewed the militia
of Rhode Island The militia rode by in hack.
-CiriHRati COmsn1or'at
Minister Welsh did not like the duties Of his
mission He couldn't tell whether flush beats
four aces or thrces two pairS.-tb'c"3o if1""''
Joe Medcll, who has been there, saysfeclingly'
John Sherman got out Of Maine in a hurry
Gail Hamilton is rs treacherous as a Zulu"
That NJ. Corbin dislikcs the Jews leads the
PHILADELPHIA Times to say; so did Pharaoh,
whose remains when last heard from were at the
bottom Of the Red Sea-
The Jews, however, find that Manhattan Beach
is no, the only watering place. Signs are posted
up at Brighton that read: Jews and trade dol
lars gratefully received
A St Louis woman having been spoken of as
having zone foot in the grave" wicked Chica-
20 paper remarks; There must be big hole
down there somewhere
An exchange says: This country hasn't
enough cases Of lockiaw, and political orators
must be gwen opportunities to run nails in their
feet"
How mortified Spague must have been when
he found the nan he went cunning for as Ger
man music teacher was Senator Conkling'
Croquct Is no longer the rage among our
young people. It took all the enjoyment out Of
the game when C~rjjDs,'s mentioned it as can
amusement within the reach Of the fecble.t in
te.lectn
John Sherman TO Spraguc Your affair with
the German music teacher grieycs me ncyprcss-
IDLY. Why didn't you first consult our mutual
friend Gen. Sckles;'
The climax of observation-disclosures suppose
that you have left your watch at home, and pull
it out Of your pocket TO see if you have time to
20 back and get IT,
English grammar according TO Richard Grant
White is dead, and VIC must now turn 10 John
a. Logan's oratcry TO see what it used TO be-
Chica9o TrjbD".
4 'cry of the heart from a st. Louis paper:
A large number Of Icelanders have just passed
through Chicago as immigrants. We wish they
would bring quarter section Of their climate
this way.
"John Sherman" says a Maine newspaper,
commenting on one Of his speeches, "fell into
empty mouthiug Of a meaningless shbboleth."
He was probably hurrylng to get out Of the way
of Gall Hamilton and didn't see where he was
going,
In the chain Of circumstances that led up to
the unpleasant affair between ex-senator Spraguc
and Senator Conkling at Narraganset pier, the
other day, the music teacher was only Linck.
Prescott G. Pillsbury, the cashier Of the Law
renee Mass National Bank, who stole sGi, coo
and then found the burden too heavy on his con.
science to bear and returned S30, 600 has been
sent TO a lunatic asylum. His giving back SO
large sum was proof conclusive Of his insanity.
80, youth, with smooth, sand. papcred pate
The night is dark, the hour is late,
Why do you linGer on my gate"
~ stay to help your daughter hold
This gate upon its hinges old
20 in, old man, you're catching cOd'
The old man sought his little bed
And on it laid his patient head
81 think my gate il safe" he said
INJURY - iAhut NItlltI lnt UuUc VI Tic SUE
cossor Of the Northumberland of Quebec was
not originally "Bobtail." 1t is now Cpcled
"Bobi,ailie,' which certainly looks more arsto
cratic.
A hen.pcckcd editor is impelled to remark that
German girls make the best wives. King Will
liam has been married fifty years, and is not as
bald headed as some Americans who have been
welded only that many months.
Said Miss Dotonart at the art museum: "Ycs,
am so delighted Chawles; and what a beauti
ful burst is that opposite' Money couldn't force
her into saying "bsst.'-Er.
Zach Chandler is the very man for the English
mission. The British lion will hurry from Lon.
don with his tail between his legs rather than
encounter the fiery glare Of the eyes, mayhap the
nose, Of our own Il. C.--Ch. Times.
The editor Of the St Louis GloJe D,moc,ot de.
clares that there is More Villainy on Foot"
The presumption is that the editor Of the Demo-
cra' has lost his railroad pass.-P.kin Times.
They have had very sad affair at West Point.
a lady at Cozzens' told her mamma that all the
cadets wear white pants; whereupon man said,
$50 do their sisters, cousins and aunts" and he
had 10 be shot through the heart
Susan 3. Anthony has cancelled all her engage
nenis 70 lecture in Iowa II is said she is afraid
the might meet the man there who has been
married twenty-onc times.
Tel me, We bistering, hot cyclones that over my
pathway moan,
Is there region hotter than this in the depths
of the tOrrid zoneg
is there hole in the universe Of the benign
Creator,
From the mob on the top Of the Arctic pole TO the
bulge Of the great equator,
Which can compare for rarifcd air TO the horrid, |
tOrrid place,
From The Utmost hall Of this mundane ball 10 the |
oltmost edge Of space?
he simeon shrieked with demoniac yell,
And scaded as ii answered, Eyes, In ="
--SdEdtci-b Free Press |
in Ohio: Husband, are you going into the |
grocery business, as you thought Of doingy"
- Nv dear wife how cnn I tnns unu. nn,, nm,