Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-08-10

the place where drunkards go to2'' Shut
I do-(hic-the plash
where they (hic-cansh get mosh tor
their monish- (hic)."
"Fish and mosquitoes says the Albany
Argus, shave begun biting at Saratoga
lake, What has Saratoga lake done
that It should be bitten at? Anyhow,
we had rather they would bite at the lake
than at US.
"That was a heavy prayer the minister
made this morning." said the deacon, as
he came out of the church last Sunday.
Eyes, returned the sinner who was ad-
dressed, s'yes-too heavy to rise very
high.
To what length has not this 'Pinafore"
craze gone? Reciting her Bible verses the
other Sunday, little miss thus rendered
it: $50 to your sister and your cousins
and your aunts, thus sluggard, and be
wise.''
sThere is truth in m remart S. yelled
out scolding wife to her suffering hus-
band, and he meekly answered, CPL grant
all the truth there is in your remarks, if
you will only put fewer remarks into
your truth.
"A little nonsense now and then,
Is relished by the best of men," n.,-
But with a surfeit of the stuff,
We cry, in agony, "enough"
And from the gods curse invoke.
On every second handed joke
At our boarding house the fellows are
all in love with the landlady's daughter,
and, since the old Iadv heard that Glove
can level rank, ;" she lets her daughter serve
butter to the guests. But. it doesn't work.
sThat man is rich,' said the conductor.
"You know him then?' said compan-
ion. "No: but he groaned when he paid
his farce" >"Does every rich man groan
when he pays his fairg' s'No, but every
one who does grsan is rich.
Milton said 'our country is where we
are we'll off," How many of us newspa-
per men feel at home?-1a97,ers Fails
Reporter.
Financially, tramp is centless; aro-
matically he is quite otherwise.
land Courier.
With the advance of spring every man
who is careful of his health Will at least
turn his socks McGsegor Ntqos.
II do not want jackass scalp in my
belt" says Commissioner of Agriculture
lie Due. No, indeed, old fellow, it is far
better to carry it on the place where it
grows Bufn1o Express.
When Richard J. Bright was made
sergeant-at-arms of the United States
Senate, Dan Macauley, with genial
swelling of the heart, that his friend had
succeeded in getting so good berth,
rushed to the telegraph Office and sent
this:
Il send you my organizations for this happy
circumstance,
And SO do my sisters and my cousins and my
aunts"
Mr.. Bright not being up in "Pinafo1e,"
was much troubled IN mind and brought
the dispatch to well known Indianian,
then in Washington, for Interpretation.
II know Dams wife, said MI. Bright, II
know his sister, but don't know these
other members of his family p Indiana
polis Nens.
Cetewayo is drawing considerable of
the worlds attention at present. The
latest information we have about him is
that he is the husband of 1000 wives.
The next will probably be that he has
Russianized his name into Getywayoff.-.
Louisville Courier-J Journal.
No quarter-A twenty cent piece
A man overheard: Ourself, by spring
poets Baltimore Eue,y Saturday.
The New Orleans Times says: oPer-
SEPARATION is the cheapest luxury of the
pore"
e We have heard of a man who keeps
temperance hotel on a small scale. We
presume what he means is, that he buys
his gin by the quart. Turner Falls Re-
porter.
A thief is really profound philoso-
pher and always candid thinker; that
is, he looks at everything in an abstract
way and if you reason with him, he is
open and liable to conviction.
In May, when soft, warm breezes blow,
The masher, blithe and gay,
Blooms radiant in new spring suit,
His ulster fires away;
But when east winds blow cold and chill
His spirits get reduced.
He hastes to shoot the new spring suit
The ulster rules the roost.-Boston Post
A pickpocket taken with his hand in
some one else's pocket, endeavored to in
vent all manner of impossible explana-
tons of the phenomenon. whats the
use of lying about it so clumsilys' said
the magistrate, beneyolently; 'haven't
you la .yer?"
This is the time of the year when the
boy who has accidentally changed shirts
with companion, while enjoying the
swim, tells his mother,
when she discovers the swap, that the
other boys mother took fancy to his
shirt and borrowed it as pattern to
make some shirts for her little boy. No
BILE, unselfsh little fellow!
One of our young city ladies who has
lately returned home from abroad, after
her education, French, of course
was at the station the other
lay, seeing her governor" off on pleas
Ire tour, and as the train was leaving the
station, called out as a final adieu: Reser-
7oir, papa, reservoir"
When the animal world had been Great
I'd, there remained an homogeneous assert
nent of bones, small and great, shaped
Ind unshaped. To utilize these odds and
ends, they were wrapped in fish skin
md called shad, and shad they remain to
his day.