Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-06-27

The sign on . returning emigrant's
wagon read; Rough ou Texas. Co
ing back to my mother-m-law."
He doubted his ability to climb a
fence, but one growl from dog gave
him the necessary confidence, enter
prise, and ability.
" | can't sold you some of dat sauer-
kraut," said n Kentucky Dutchman.
" shust haze tree harhels, uud keeps
dot in case OF sickness"
An old bachelor asked an authoress
ii she could throw any light on kissing.
u could" said she, looking archly at
him, but | think Il is better in the
dark
A fellow who fell in love with a school
ma'am called her Experience" be-
cause ~ him she was dear teacher.
Prisoner, why did you follow this
man and beat and kick him SO shame.
mllyy 81 am sorry, Your Honor; |
was n little drunk, and thought il was
my Wife"
Tho woman who put her tongue to
hot HAT iron to see il il was hot, now
sits calmly and sees her husband pull
oil his dirty boots ON the parlor carpet
without word of dissent. EimIu
Gost;te.
That was neat, tho remark of Il young
lawyer on Washington street, the other
morning, A friend accosted him:
John, wish YOU would change this
Menty-dollar bill for me-" The blush.
ing but pleased attorney lifted his hat
and rephed' MY good boy, YOU ilattor
me--you tlattor me"
"lano," said he, al think il YOU
lifted your feet away from tho fire we
might have some heat in the room"
And they hadn't been married two
years, either, BaSton Jcmaai.
Tho old gentleman looked ont of the
front window the first warm moonlt
evening, and tho faint vison of two
forms down near the sidewalk caused
him to remark with sigh, "Aht
they've struck their old gate again.
Archery is to 10 fashionable among
tho hdics. and very properly; every
young lady should know how to man
age her beau.
1t has been discovered that young
mon are more bashul in summer than
in winter. "Iou emit yet some chaps
within fifty yards of girl during the
ice cream season.
The Elmin Advertiser says this is tho
best season of the whole year for bridal
tours, because everything is so green
and nice. Tho bride being nice and
tho groom green.
a Fort Madison (Iowa) man went
homo tho other evening and found his
house locked. Getting in ut tho window
with considerable difficulty, ho found
on tho table IL note from his wifc-"1
have gone out; you will find the door
key on ono side OF the doorstep.
Bashful Lover" All, Miss, IL want
cd to SEQ your father; I've some inn
portant business matters 10 propose to
him." Benevolent Young Lady
{" Well, I'm serry father is not in--but
can't you make the proposal to me p
The wedding cards were soon ordered.
After an enthusiastic lover spends
two hours hard labor over letter To
his girl, and then mars its beauty by
spilhng u drop of ink on ii, he first
swears in n scientific manner for few
moments, and then draws circle
around tho blot and tells her il is kiss
"When | was boy said very
prosy, long-winded orator to his friend,
Il used TO talk in my sleep" "And
now" said his friend, "you sloop in
your talk" But, somehow, that didn't
seem TO DO just exactly the point the
orator was going To make.
A clergyman informs us that IL Wash.
ington correspondent Of religious pa
per recently assigned TO the Rev. DIR.
S. u rather novel pulpit. The doc
tor had preached from the text, "Tho
gates of he'll shall not prevail against
YOU" The doctor must have been not
u little surprised, il he saw tho account
Of the sermon, To read IN tho words of
the correspondent, "Dr. S. then
preached from tho gates ofhell.n Prob
ably ono Of those fiery discourses for
which the preacher is famous.
Ice cream and strawberry shortcakc
now rally To tho bracing up Of the
church funds, experimenting tho win
tors work Of tho oyster, and the
deacon's daughter looks d little more
attractive handing abouta nice plate Of
luscious ripe Strawberries that rival the
color in her own cheeks, then she ever
did trying TO balance hot bowl Of oys-
tiers without spilling them into her par
tieular's" lap. Oysters are incompatible
with grace; but tho strawberry--ahl for
what more graceful dish does lovely
woman get fifty cent "for the cause"
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