The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1879-10-04
WHIFS: WISE HND WIVVY.
An old salt-EpSom.

An old salt-Epsom.
Spirit of the press-Cidcr.
Old Probs is "a lightning calculator.
The best spade for mining in Leadville
seems to be the ace.
No man can keep his head above water
whose nose is constantly above whisky.
The difference between woman and an
umbrella is that the latter can be shut up.
1t doesn't take schoolboy long to learn
division after he begins to play marbles ior
keeps.
The average arc of Il cat is fifteen years.
The boot jack trade will not play out yet
awhile.
A clairvoyant in Canada has discovered
that at least one OF the Sianesc twins Is IN
heaven.
The colored boy in the walking match
in New York, we suppose, is the dark horse
of the contest.
No man realizes how rapidly he is pass
ipr through this world till he Guns against
an open iron gate of a dark night. =.
The Cincinnati Commercial sheds tearS>
over "Nobody's Cat" Most psople shed
boot jacks and things in such cases.
The sheriff of Blair county advertiscs Il
gray yard for sale in his list of real estates
to be disposed of at judicial cutlery.
Sitting Bulls wife is name cred Rose
bud of the Prairie Charming. Romantic.
The Indian of it is "Tchugu&utchugh.
All the signers of the Declaration of In
dependence signed their names with quill
except one-he signed his WitherSpoon.
A fashion item says short dresses will
be the rage in the fall. Long dresses EaNe
been the rage in the fall of many man.
1t was Just as Goldsmith said: Rich
fares the land, rs happy rs the day, where
presidents peramhulatc among the pump
kins gay.
-" Waiter Just smell this fish! How dare
YOU serve such stuff on Il decent table
''Oh, monsieur. in this hot weather iiSheSa are
spoiled before they arc caught
The schoolboy will goat for halfa day on
the enismas in u puz2la column, but when
he comes to getting his regular arithmetic
lesson he considers il the greatest bore on
earth.
No, Janet, it is not customary to climb
trees in order to gather Fall leaves, hut il is
easier and more economical than telling the
tree, because you can't fell 4 tree with Il
sewing machine.
An Irish newspaper concludes its ac-
count of an imposing ceremony: The pro
cession was very fine, being nearly two
miles long as was also the prayer of the
Rev Mr.. McFaddrn.'
An exchange says it does not believe
that man who loves Il horse can he 4 verv
bad man. Some of orr States think diff
ferently, for they imprison and hang men
who love horses too we'll.
No, Jane, it is useless to think of hay
ing a turkey gobbler stuffed for your new
Fall bonnet. hing larger than an orli-
nary Shanghai rooster is suitable for wear
ing on the hats of this seasons importation.
Henry Ward Beacher having tasted
lager beer and pronounced it COED, To
ronto brewery has kindly filled Ito nfocly-
the article This is all we'll enough, but W.
are sorry to hear that the de2cons' meetings
at Mr. Beechcr's house are better attended
of late than they were a few months ago.
Colonel McClurg kicked a man out of
an Alabama hotel for personal affront.-
Six months after he saw the same man
kicking another poor fellow ont of another
hotel. 80 ush, man." said the colonel
Held, hut amt you the man | kicl-
of the Nassau House little W
Keep still, colonel" was
"Don't say one we'd.
whom 1t will do to II