The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1879-11-20
CURRENT ilIlMUK,


CURRENT HuMUK.
Duluth has three churches which can he
turned into grain elevators With but little eS-
pense. She built 'em that way on purpose.
A etingy gentleman has given young
crossing sweeper IL dino Crossing swnepnl
running after gentleman: "Oh. II You please.
lyl: "A bad one, u il. my good boy Well. 10
matter. Keep 1t Tor your honestly"
They were out driving. Said Theodore
what tree Angelina. bears tho most pro
Cious fruitl' Angelina. "t,h. bnry, can
tell ,lnlass II Ia a cherry tree" Theodore
looking unutterahle sweetness rs he ga1nd
into Angelina's eyes and said: "The axle
tree. darling.
On certain American railroad q young
man put his head out Of tho car window to
kiss his girl goodbye, when tht, train went
ahead 30 rapidly that lie klssed an aged ART
nan female at the next station This Is sup
posed to be the fastest time over maize on II
railway train. @..5. -=...
gentleman met stangor on the street.
grasped biz hand cordially and exclaimed. ~
tones or polite hut uncertain recognition.
MIR Brown, | heieve2 II you believ"
that calmly replied the stranger. whose
name was Hamilton. you'll believe any
thing"
an oath, 70 which he replied con. yes. boss,
for sartin My ole maraer .strlo,ed ms IN all
dem tings" "Woll," asked the Judge. what
AZ your notion Of m OATH why, boss, u 81
les dis: II | once tells a lie. I'm To stick to 1t
clean trough to do end
"Yee' said Jones, II was nj tho church to-
day. and enjoyed IT profoundly" "Ah. le-
marked the ptoua iaudlady. 81 didn't see YOU
on which side Of the church dia you sit r.
"Ahem ahem - we'll yes ahem. stam-
mered the Disconnected hoarder, ~ sat on the
outside
Colonel Old Style This is indeed. pleas
ure 1 never sec your ladyshin. but feel
that ] am ten years younger! Lady New
Style (who hasn't been To tho Lyeeum fnl
nothipgl Indeed Colonelt Then you should
avoid me-. A meeting or two more. and you'll
be In your second childhood Funny Folks
81 has the best kind 1t n reputation AZ an
unrivaled liar lie Is 40 much Mt home In
lying" said A., speaking " him. that when
ever BY accident he tells the truth he hecomea
confused ana troubled. Hes 40 great n
liar" said another of \, e friends. that you
can't even believe the contrary Of what tie
tells YOU
woman who had buried four husbands
was sadly contemplating their pictures
sYour poor father ID IN Heaven, ] hope" sbe
said to her little five yaar-old. Which one
mamma 7" inquired the little Innocent why
your own, own dear father. AMI arc tht
others all burned up ~ The mother didn
answer the oonundrum. In. !. Express.
All the spelling reforms of all the men II
all the world will not succeed In lessening tht
Intensity Of the schoolboy's affection. wht
scrawls on his slate with broken pencil ~
luv y,i," and hands 1t across tho aisle. with Z
hlE apnle to a pretty little f,Ie-.yod gil
who raads In the Second Reader Harvard
Iamponn.
Tho following stanza was picked up IN the
neIghhorhood Or a dog kennel
We're a little bird Id build my nest
Higher than the tallest mountain crest
Id weave II In q corner ~ tho afhl
That npfG and hfinks In tho i,Y AtHf,
.. Where no cruel boy nor 81 Ned man
Gould tie down my NM, with an old tin can.
A congregation, .4sxlnus TO get rld 81 thetl
pastor were 5asilerabv nerpeSed how tt
10 1t wt'hoNt hurting HE feelings. After con
siderable discussion they concluded to inform
him that they were obliged TO- reduce hls mi
ary delegation TO wait on him aud notify
him Of Tho fact WAS appointed, Brethren,
was his reply, al have boon with you in pros
porlty. aud will newer desert you ~ adv"r
sity.''
n very much inchrIatnd follow stands ~
the edge of the sidewalk and looks doubtfulI1
nj the crowd nf carriages. Nnar him stands
an extremely venerable and dignita't old gen
tleman, who, after looking on awhile, kindl,
takes tho younger man lay the arm anu hhln
him across the street. Whom no III safe on W.
other Sidewalk, hc hlurts ont with tipsy graft
tudc: "ihau YOU You know what II H. t" y
drunk e.
Scene: An entry In lhayer. Two Sophie
mnrss are discovered before Freshman
door gazing nj the boots which the guines
youth has put outside, First Sophomore
aWhat does hedo II for2 Night aftnr night ii
pass by ] find them here Isn't his scon
allowed u Key do you SUPPOSE Secnn
Sophomore "Oh its plain enough When h
takes those boots from his frct. there's no
room enough inside for all four iarvar
LampoOn.
Ever since that little tritlo Of over $1,000
900. accidentally forgotten In the Hnpktn
estate. turned up. VIC hay" been eSaminn
our old vests and things under the firm cot
yiction that we have ahsent-mndadly at 81
times LETT Il few hundred thousand coupon,
bonds aud such trttns IN the pockets Fhst
has nothing turned up so far except q tickle
bearing interest at per cent. FIR the famil
watch redeemable in-wel You know how
is yourself. Exchange.