The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-03-20
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
TT tho Pacific slone2

THERE are only 26O fast days in the
Abyssinian year.
CHAT settles it, as the egg shell
said to the coffee.
How TO draw a tooth without pain
Draw it on paper with a pencil.
KING Cetewayo's song: .IKaffir no
body. no, not l, and nobody Kaffirs
me.'
THE owner of Chicago peanut
stand has formally gone into bank
ruptcy.
SPRING fever and white vests will
soon be ripe.-Phitadelphia Chronicle
Herald.
BE perfect and you will never die.
No perfect man was ever known to-
Boston Post.
"VIRTUE is its own reward" The
pay is regular, if not high.-Bostos
Transcript.
THE best are the cheapest. This is
more especially so in the matter of
wives.-Philadelphia Chronicle.
IS. T." YES, the best bunting
comes from the hair raised on the goats
forehead. Turner's Falls Reporter.
SIMPLE pity amt much better to
person than an insult; but to pity him
with $5 bill is bizziness.-J. Billings.
If the Chinese must go, asks the st.
Louis Post, can they take the small
boy who plies the bean-shooter with
themp
The San Francisco Bulletin says that
the total arrivals of Chinese at that port
in 1873 were 6,675 and the departures
6,O71.
THE French are acquiring more
stable government every year. Paris
alone consumed IL ,219 horses for food
last year.
POSITIVE, the lovers pat; compare
tive. the marital spat; superlative, the
husbands bat''-followed up by q
bill for divorce.
WHAT is the difference between a
seasonable poem and child? One is
on Spring and the other is offspring
N. Y. Commercial.
IT has Just been ascertained that the
Missouri River is navigable to within
twelve miles of Helena, Montana. fifty
miles above Fort Benton.
new Egyptian Council is Tewfik, but it
would be worse than the toothache to
get a pun on it.-Graphic.
what is commonly called high words
they generally use low wlanguage.-Phil-
GdelphiG Chronicle Herald.
The proprietor of bone factory an
nounces that persons leaving their
bones with him can have them ground
at short notice.-N. o. Rcayune.
The wisest man we ever knew was a
Jew who remarked: Sc tell you vat it
ish, young man, l buys my egsberience
vresh efry ay."--Baltinaor EUery
Saturday.
A,.oHn tha-nau,aaa in .hA Philadal-
Zakrzewski, Yunkguichel, Schwitzgoo-
zle, Quickendugfel, Pequignot, and
Oohischlegel.
In Berlin the silk trade has nearly
died out by reason of French competi-
ton, while at Lyons it is exceedingly
depressed by reason of the greatly re-
duced demand from this country.
AN Illinois lawyer who charged a
widow twenty-five dollars for making
out bill of sale reduced his bill to
three dollars after the widows brother
had taken off his coat.-DetrOit Free
Press.
WHATS thisp The Hat Finishers
Associationr' The small boy must be-
long to that to man. If anything
in nature can finish hat in shorter or
der than the small boy, we haven't
heard of it, that's an.-Bost0n Tran
script.
new Post-office in Arizona. No buzzing
is allowed during the distribution Of
the mails, and the inhabitants are
earnestly enjoined to beehive them
selves. Graphic.
The first time fellow kisses the girl
of his choice the sensation is not unlike
the chill that courses through the veins
of the wight whose head has just been
seized by the iron clamps of the
photegrapher.-Bost Transcript.
The Russians are peculiar. When
coffins are covered with cloth, the color
indicates the character of the deceased.
If the body is a young person, crimson
is used; if a widow, brown; if father,
yellow; but black is never used.
The coal industry of Pennsylvania
has reached enormous proportions, the
annual product being valued at $780,
OOO,O 900. The first coal mined, amount
ing to a few hundred tons. was sold in
Philadelphia in 1918 for $21 ton.
Mr.. RAGsDALE, Treasurer of Jeffer-
son County, Ind, broke his engagement
with poor girl to marry rich widow,
and a jury compelled him to pay 5000
damages. "Wen," he said, as he
handed over the money, ssI am still
about $20, 900 ahead by the change"
EVER since it got out that Rome was
saved by the cackling of geese. legisla-
tors of every grade have settled down
to the conviction that only by their eter-
nal cackling can the peoples rights be
subserved. Verify, the goose has much
to answer for.
INSTEAD of bothering about the next
Presidency and worrying over the Chi
nese question, Chester County man
went out and captured eleven skunks
in one hole, which is doing extremely
well, considering the times.-Norris-
to,O,s Herald.
The President receives some curious
letters and kilograms. The following
dispatch was received at the White
House on the 9th of February: '' May
the King of Kings incline the President
of the United States to do generous
act, and to give the post-office To,
a Christian gentleman. You will have
Gods blessing, and that of q thankful
people"
A RATHER fussy diplomatist left his
card for Admiral Goldsborough, U. S.
n, inscribed E. P. in the corner, and
on meeting the Admiral he said: 81
hope you got my card 30, yes; but
what the deuce is the meaning of the E.
p. on itp' 20, en- personne." Soon aft
er the diplomatlst received the Admi-
rails card, inscribed S. B. N, and in
turn asked for an Interpretation. "Sent
by nigger.' explained the Admiral.
SAYS the Denver Tribune: They
tell me Leadville is pretty high up" re-