The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-01-09
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
WoMAN's sPHERE-A mousesis WON
ans fear.
A BOUQUET is . good sccnter.piece
for the dining-table.
IDEARLY love my sweet art, said the
enthusiastic confectioner.
If you want to raise money why not
60 to"My loan rock by the sea?"-M.
Y. News.
THE tide of immigration to Texas
from Germany is heavier this year than
ever before.
A YOUNG man with his first goatee
may be said to have tuft time of it.
Glasgow (Ky.) Times.
THE introduction of foreign capital
to aid Japanese industry is advocated
by the native journals
MITE makes write for Il journal which
devotes itself to the cheese trade
Fond dw Lac Reporter.
CAN any person improve his condi-
ton by complainingp If not, whine
ot?-Indianapolis Journal.
"ONE touch of Nature" observed the
inebriate, as the ground rose and struck
him.-Danielsonville Sentinel.
"SHE's better, off," was the consoling
remark of a hen-pecked husband at his
wife's funeral.-Owego Record.
THERE are no titles in America, vet
we have great many bogus Sir Tiff
cates.-Cincimnati Saturday Night.
ANGELS are timid creatures, for it is
written that fools rush in where angels
are afraid to 60 on tiptoe.
"WHAr I'd like to know" said
schoolboy, sis how the mouths of riv-
ers can be 50 much larger than their
heads"
4 BASE and irreclaimable beast of a
has said: "Woman is a
clock which runs slow after fve-and-
twenty"
A POLICEMAN searched the boys in
the West Chester, Pa, schools the
other day and found several revolvcrs
on the meekest looking ones.
A VERY fat man sent an order to the
office for two seats in the coach for
The clerk engaged him one
seat outside and the other inside.
THE Independent and Baptist min
listers of Sheffield, Eng, have unani-
mously condemned the Afghan war as
-" unrighteous, unpolitic and unchris-
tian."
A GEORGIA editor is exceedingly
anxious to make the acquaintance of
the flabby-hearted, flop-eared plug
who flung a brick through ore of our
office windows last Sunday night
BETTER it is to sit on barrel at tie
corner grocery with contentmcnt than
to rcpose in the NEST luxurious easy.
chair adorned with a tidy in the house
of the order-loving woman.-Fultoa
IN. W Times.
SOFr-HEARTED GRANDPA Ito Tommy,
who had just been castigated by his
mamma)-"And you know, Tommy.
t really pains mamma more than it
ioes your Tommy Oh, yes, l
know it does! She says so! It hurts her
hands!'
The making of horse-hair rings and
chains by the convicts in the Kentucky
Penitcntiary has been prohibited, be-
cause of the manner in which they
levied assessments on the tails
Of horses driven into the yard,
sometimes seriously disfiguring the an
imals.
SMALL gentleman appears in huge
hat which engulfs him to his shout
ders. His wife" But that hat doesn't
tit you, my love-" He" That's what
[ told the man; but he showed me his
gold medal, the only one awarded for
hats, and what could l do?'-Paris
ChariuGrt.
AS result of prolonged observation,
the Norwich Conn Bulletin remarks:
IS A man will pasture his fowls on his
neighbors all summer and preserve the
most complacent conscience in the
State; but let sneak-thief come along
some moonless night and bag a couple
Of decrepit old hens, and he will raise
. howl that can DO heard over in Rhode
Island"
CAPT. JOHN, Chief of the Big Mead
ow Piutes, is no SLOUGH of a civilized
person. Instead of spending his days
in hunting at the Sink of Humboldt,
which is literally alive with ducks,
geese, swans and pelicans, Capt. John,
according to the Winnemucca SLIDER
State, cmploys dozen Indians to shoot
for him and coins money by selling the
fowls at q dollar head in Eureka.
A CORRESPONDENT wants to know
g How oysters are fattened?" we never
oysters, but we suppose they
are penned up. like turkeys, a couple
Of weeks before killing, and fed ON
corn meal, chopped meat and musn
and milk.-NorristoU's Herald. Hooo!
Don't you know better than that?
50 Penned upr' Hooo! All you want to
do to fatten oysters is Just to pour Steps
around the roots of the vine every
1t will make an astonishing
dilference.-M. 2. Graphic.
The London World tells the follow
ing story: "She is stately old lady
of title, and he is one of the new school
Of young tradesmen, who, rich, we'll
educated and well-mannered, are con-
stantly endeavoring to sink the shop
and place themselves on q level with
their customers, even during business
hours. He knew her by sight and by
name, and on seeing her enter tho shop
for it is q shop after all-advanced
toward her with a pleasant smile, and
said. hope, Lady -, you were
pleased with the opera last night.
She turned to her companion and faint
ly asked whether the man was speak
ing to her. On being answered in the
Affirmative. she: Confronted the still
smiliHg. yo!hg kauaemsg, and, with
raised eyebrows, Said, My good man,
rcams hero t. buy. . carpet::"...
49,: ..:!...:>: 80:
Nobody Knew Why.
SOME of the indurated customs and
practices in the Russian service, the
origin of which has been forgotten, are
very curious. Bismarck is reported,
in DR.. Busch's book, as telling about q
sentinel continually stationed in the
middle of a lawn in the Sumror Gov