Connecticut western news., 1879-08-13
WIT AND WISDOM.

-Rear-ly too bad-The mules hind \ feet. '' .'S 'f""
 "A bird on toast is worth two on feather. S '..% '.''+a ,. Out on foul-Taking ride on an ostrich. te' ,@@' '-sy +'', t . .se .,.e. .s.ia' A repeating act-The second clap
 of thunder. ''" V 's is"
 A duck of lover makes goose of
 husband. %''a,''1
 The height of the season 100 de-, <, grees.--[ Boston Post. ,., ... .r.,.lss5
 |" A man cares little for his wrongs. ! when getting his funeral rites!-E YonA
 kers Gazette. ' +''rN ''."' 'l''S %aa
 -Flattery is like cologne water, to be
 smelled of, not swallowed, says Josh
 Billings" .,' N "' .t,Hf,11l ,@| a,asA
 The young lady who took a gentle-"sa q mans fancy has returned it with many cad thanks. ''" ''.'.'' ''! !'@ "s>s"'aS
 - It is evident that the earth is femi- sa nine from the persistence with which '.' she refuses to tell her age.
 A learned physician has discovered that ice cream leads to consumption -''7' consumption of loose change. >'N -Bashfulness, like the lustre of " seventeen cent ring, sometimes wears of :. and shows the brass,-[Owego Record. ~
 Two thousand organ grinders are wanted in Memphis to test the severity ., of the yellow fever. Rochester, Union. |. | A druggist advertises cred laven- ,,,, der." This must be the cred cent /" we, y, hear quoted sometimes. s.-[ Commercial
 Bulletin. .",, .., ., .t# ,...., .,t.@
 The fish that you pull just to the o top of the water, and then lose, always "weighs just seven pounds" .' Haven Register. . ss "ss.. ',..,'- ee-,,-
 Every business man likes to be pa-' 7 tronized, providing his patron does not V patronize him in patronizing manner.
 T Rome Sentinel. ~''1 ''"'
 In passing the residence of retired
 liquor dealer people point to his hand
 some grounds and exclaim: "See what
 whisky will bring a man to l" ,g,
 -"If there's no moonlight, will you
 meet me by gaslight, dearest Julisna8
 "No, Augustus, won't," raplied she;
 "Tm DO gas meter."-[ Boston Globe. .,,;
 Another revolution is in progress } in Mexico. We believe this makes 4S7 gs since the 1st of July, with some of the"a back counties yet to be hoard from.-7lei Albany Journal. >.''' .''",' Na'
 -"Father," said wistful lass about " sixteen years of age, "I know something
 about grammar, but cannot decline Y matrimony, nor see the reason why my
 self and Gilbert cannot be coniugated.
 Several English girls at the seaside :. have determined to wear on the feet only ,
 the old Roman sandal sole, with straP.a,s The Boston Post says, they'll find the . sandIl get between their toes. .,.- ,s,.osg,
 The philosopher says :--"Life is : but @ span." But at the rate some of o' the fellows ae going through 1t we < should remark that they must have seven " or eight horses hitched to them. .-l El-'.s mira Gazette. '."A sat.sts
 The man who gets the maddest ct
 newspaper joke on himself, is the same
 party who goes round showing the'e' paper to everybody he meets when the
 joke is on some other fellow. w.-[ Steuben- z
 vile Herald. In a bottle of champagne tested by
 a party of gentlemen in Columbus, O.,
 one night last week, was found the S corpse of a mosquito. Conundrum Dy ! editor of tho Journal: How did tnSe t mosquito cross the ocean from New Jer- sey to Rheims ?" ., .ar-t e.ai -"I say," says an indignant mem' < Der of the party he has just deserted, "you'r re pretty fellow, you are. You. ,, change your political faith as often as Y
 you do your shirt" "You wouldn't have me wear shirt after found it was ! dirty, would you?' ''',1< ,2 '.t' Understanding the salary paid the English Minister to be $l7,50O, while the annual expenses are $4o,O00, we
 must for the present resist every enort' of those friends who would induce us v to accept the position. Give it to some
 Ohio man-we're not selfish. Hacker- , sack Republican.
 The clerk in the Criminal Court
 having read the indictment of O prisoner
 for horse stealing, said to him: "Guhty , or not guilty ?" ""Well," he replied. "I'm guilty fast enough, but then n want to be tried just the same, specially a as see several of our boys on the lnry. ~ A Poughkeepsie, gentleman who 5 5 bought driving horse three years ago 'f for $2OO has just sold it for $2 ,0o0. A a Boston gentleman who bought a horse, < ., for g, 900 two years ago has just sold it,s L. for -; the terms were privates but IF the gentleman no longer takes an inter, 1, |. est in fast horses. --[ Boston'T Traveler.o,sn' n The game laws should be amended ,f some more. It is all right to impose . 'e fine for shooting game out of season. x ,s but what is wanted now is q clause fn>e le serted to enable a man to shoot game le and catch fish in season. We have m found it easy enough not to'shoot game Is cut of season. TO Kill 1t in season is