Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1879-11-20
VARIETIES.

| S|.J A"H - oOuA ViHB udu D6IleE get n
little gal-an-try. .
One of the uses of adversity-Helps
to fill up the dictionary. .-Mertde,,
Conn., J Recorder.
The ayes of q majority always put
the noes of the minority out of Joint
HacbenSGcb Republican,.
An Iowa farmer fired at quail and
shot tramp. What Iowa wants is
more quail.-BOStOn Post.
The older the tree, the more rings
it has. 1t is very much the same with
a city.-BoSton Traveller.
Gail Hamilton thinks the only
housework some girls do is when they
begin to dust around after o beau.
There be men who would willingly
search the Scriptures if they thought
they could find anything to steal in
them.
Put yourself in his place when you
go to rout a boy out of bed at six
o'clock on a frosty morning. Free
Press.
Nothing SO quickly dries wom-
ans tears as a kiss.-PrOqreSS. Do
you want to set all the girls to cryingP
Boston Post.
"A Zulu girl isn't allowed to marry
a man who doesn't own a COW. We
suppose this is to indicate that she is
his bos.-HGOb- Bqe.
The New York Mail thinks that if
those who OVer-eat, and those who half
starVe, were to strike a balance, the
world would be pretty well fed.
"A thorough man of the world is one
who can shake hands cordially with
friend whom he has just black-balled at
a club.-NeaO Orleans Pjcaystne.
"A German statistician has discov-
cred that the mails of the world carry
an average of 100000 letters daily.
The daily average of kilograms is $685.
900. ...-
"A Boston woman cut her dress
from pattern in a magazine dated
1873 before she discovered thati wasn't
1879, and it took three doctors to tide
her over that long, lonely night.-Free
Press.
Little Willie-"And were all the
little birds drowned, mammal" Nam
ma (whO had been telling the story of
the Deluge) T." Yes, all but those who
were in the Ark" Willie" Then l
think they were stupid; d;why didn't they
get in a row on top of the ArkP"
"A scientific journal states that
" gold is unaffected by atmospheric ac-
ton or influences" We are glad to
learn that there is something that
doesn't touch it or grab at it, There
are enough other things that do affect
it, without having the atmosphere get
at it.-HGa0E-Bye.
One hundred and thirty persons
are required in Vassar College to wait
on the girls aud attend to the estate.
And these are but handful compared
to the number who wait on the girls
outside the college with view of at
tending to the estate of-of their de-
ceased fathers.
There would be fewer accidents in
his world if men would take their
wives advice, for we never yet heard of
4 mans head being blown off with a
shotgun or his being run over by the
cars, but when his wife said she had
often told him to keep away from the
'ailrOad track or never touch a gun.
In one Of Chicago's suburbs, at a
'ecent Sunday School meeting, long
Vinded clergyman consumed too much
If the time with wordy address.
When he sat down, the leader of the
Meeting announced a hymn-one by
3liss-beginning Halleluia it's
loneP' He didn't mean it, butit was
Ipropos.
When boy on his way to the Sun
lay School loses the nickle he has been
for the missionary box, he is
orn with agonizing remorse because
le didn't spend it for peanuts before it
vas wasted. If sorrow for the de-
rauded heathen factors in his agony
q isn't aware OF it. t.-HasoE-Eye.
"A Spanish proverb says: "The
Dad of By-and-By leads to the Town of
lever. Baltimore NeoOS. That's moth
lg. If the proverb had said; "The
Ong of the Sweet By-and-By leads to
40 Town of Hardly Ever" we'd have
oisted the yellow fever 1ag,-N. T.
'1presS. t#
Ole Bull plays upon a violin S16
ears old. If you should hear the young
ian who lives next door to you Get
old Of it, you would think it was 500
ears old, and had lost its voice in a
,ries of complicated troubles when it
as only seven years Of young. .-Ha0E-
ye.
The Norristown Herald wisely
.Ys: "Miss Miller, of Ferris, Texas,
lloroformed her fathers dogs and
oped with young man whom her
ther had forbidden the premises.
be probabilities are that about a year
,nce she will conclude that her life
ould have been less miserable Ii She
ID chloroformed the young man and
oped with her fathers dogs"
The editor of the Fort Plain ReGis-
" has his Office and residence con-
cted by telephone. Yesterday Mr..
idd, of Little Falls, an old friend.
He'd on the editor and expected to re-
ain for dinner. The editor hurried to
Q telephone and shouted to his wife;
Mr.. Skidd will be up with me to din
!. low an a,vf1.o v,Ioto - g No. - 81