The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-02-27
MuLTuM IN PARyo.
A sTOwAwAY-The glutton.

MULTUM IN PARvO.
A sTOwAwAY-The glutton.
A BAD sign-A defaced guide-board.
SOUND MoNEY-The organist' salary.
TWINS are the paropets of house.
Whitehall Times.
THERE is nothing gnu under the sun
but the horned horse.
POSITIVE, wait; comparative, waiter;
superlative, get it yourself.
No PRESIDENT ever went into the
chair direct from seat in the Senate.
ZONE touch of Nature" observed the
inebriate as the ground rose and struck
him.
TEN couples live in Bridgewater.
Mass. who have celebrated their golden
weddings.
IT is vulgar to call man "b bow
legged" just speak of him as a paren-
thetical pedestrian.
THE boy who was getting little too
large to enjoy the flattery Of mis- moth
er's sisters, said he had got " syc.oph.
ants" long ago.
The human body can only be kept
capable to labor by use. More than
any other machinery, it is sure to rust
and decay from disuse. GARRISON.
A POPULAR bill to allow the same re-
ward for killing stage-robbers as for
capturing and convicting them has Just
been defeated in the Nevada Legis-
lature.
JAPANESE used to have such a high
sense of honor that they would commit
suicide if caught in any bad business.
Now they fee lawyer and plead mot
guilty"
THERE are three miserable classes in
this wozld, to-wit: Those who can't
work, those who won't work and those
who think they do not need to work.
State Register.
A NORTH CAROLINA editor declares
that "The man who will read news
paper three or four years without pay
ing for it will pasture goat on the
grave of his grandfather"
THE following explanation of legal
term is offered by Teutonic member
of the police force: even git me out
habeas scorpions, can chust 80 veil
catch q man where he amt as where
he is"
AN old man who had been badly hurt
in railroad collision, being advised to
sue the company for damages, said,
"Well, no, not for damages. I've had
enough of them; but I'll just sue 'em
for repairs"
GREAT joy sometimes proves fatal.
Therefore it is with some misgivings
that we announce to the world that q
Massachusetts, baseball player hanged
himself few days ago. PHILADELPHIA
Chronicle Herald.
Iris all very we'll to talk about econ.
omy, but the difficulty is to get any
thing to economize. The little oaby
who puts his toes in his mouth is al
most the only person who in these
times manages to make both ends
meet.
"MY dearest Maria," wrote recent
Unmarried husband to his wife. She
wrote back; dearest, let me correct
either your grammar or your morals.
You address me, My dearest Maria
Am to suppose you have other dear
Marias?'
A NEwLY-MARRIED lady made her
first plum pudding the other day. 81
aimed to make good pudding" she
said to her husband, who is riheman,
when the dish was served. "You aimed
WE'LL" he replied, as he inhaled its de-
licious fragrance. EYES," she said;
IL made a plum scenter."
AT a recent conference meeting
in New York a man got up and said he
had long wished to speak, but his wife
wouldn't let him. His wife had died,
however, and having his liberty at last,
he proposed to exercise it. In about
two minutes the entire conference wept
over the death of the lady as over the
loss of personal friend.-Bufalo En-
press.
Now" IN Chili-tone she said.
Altho' you Arab brilliant catch.
do not Caffre your
20 lady, Dane to hear my suit,
This heart is Scot by thee"
Nay, sir. cannot heed your words,
Foryou Arnaut to me!'
"Tis Welsh" she added freezingly.
Since Siam pressed SO far,
To Hindoo you no loneer here,
And 50, good sir, Tartar!''
what Ottoman like me to do3''
Bewailed the stricken man;
III! Finnish up my mad career
And wed the Gallican!'
st. Louss Times.
THE Russian physicians report the
following as the characteristics of the
prevailing plague: A swelling of the
size of hens egg appears un or the
groin. This is accompanied by gen.
eral indisposition and violent head
aches. From these signs of the disease
to its complete development only q few
hours elapse. Immediately afterward
ensue severe internal pains. copious
vomitings, and soon after black spots
break out on the body, mostly on the
breast, the forearm and the top of the
back. In an hour or two more the pa
tient is dead. f.
A YOUNG MAN went to have a tooth
stopped. The dentist advised him to
have the tooth taken out, and assured
him that he would feel no pain if he in
hailed laughing gas. "But what is the
effect of the gasp asked the youth.
1T simply makes you totally insensi-
BILE" answered the dentist; you don't
know anything that takes place." Just
previous to the gas being administered,
he put his hand into his pocket and
pulled out his money. "Oh, don't
trouble about that now" said the dent
list. thinking that he was going to be
paid his fee. "Not at ALL" remarked
the patient; 81 was simply going to
see how much had before the gas took
effect.''
Our Lunarian Neighbors.