The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-06-28
HUMOROUS.

HUMOROUS.
1T SEVERED OLD TIEs.-The other
day muscular young fellow having
an odor Of the stables about him, en-
tered Detroit photographers estab-
lishment and explained that he would
like to have about one photograph
taken, but on learning the price he
concluded to Invest in a tin-type. Atter
taking HE seat in the chair he shut up
one eye, drew his mouth around one
side, stuck up his nose and patiently
waited for the operator, whose astoi-
ishment caused him to exclaim:
Good gracious but you don't want
to look that way to get a picture. No
Dody'll know you from Sitting Bull"
Yod go ahead" was the reply.
DO you want me to take such q
phiz as thatp''
II do"
The artist took 1t. 1t beat Sol Smith
Russell all to pieces and was highly
satisfactory to the sitter, who paid for
it and eaid:
You see, [ had sort Of object in
this. Come here from Allegan county
six months ago-engaged to a gal out
there-found a gal here / like better
got to sever old. tles-see ?"
- But what has that picture got to do
with old ties 2''
"Lots-heapsI I've writ to her that
was blode up here Oh boat and dis
tiggered fur life. She's awful proud. =.
When she gifts this and sees how that
explosion wrecked me, she'll hunt an.
other lover quicker'n wiDk-see? How
do you like the p'otp Just gaze on
this picture once and then tell me that
letters by next train!''
He posted the picture. The letter
was briet, explnineu all. 1t said:
My EVVER DEAR CURL 81 inclOze
my plkture that you may see how otiul
bad l was hurt, tho l know you will
luv me jist the same"
Ever see that game worked afOre ?"
he asked OF the artist as he licked the
stamp OH the letter.
"No-neverp
"'Course you never did. It's mine.
1t struck me the other day while was
greasin' wagon, and think it's boss.
Blode up--see2 Distiggered fur life
secP Picture right here to prove It.,
and she'll write back that she has at
last concluded to yield to her parents;
wishes and marry young man out
there who owns eleven steers, hum
dred sheep and an eight-acre lot"
A YOUNG bachelor sheriff was called
upon to serve an attachment against a
beautiful young widow; he accordingly
called upon her and said, Madam,
have all attachment for you;" the
widow blushed and said "his attach
ment was reciprocated; "you don't
understand me, you must proceed to
court" l know it is leap year, sir,
but prefer you to do the courting." j."
"Mrs. P. this Is no time for
trlfling. the justice Is waiting" "The
justice Is waiting" "The justice is 2
Why, prefer parson."
"GEoRGE," said schoolmistress to
one OF her unrulY scholars, "why is 1t
you behave 80 badly? When you first
came to school you were obedient, sub
missive and willing to learn; now you
are just the contrary" .'' 'Well, to tell
not much acquainted them"
The irony OF Lue law is shown
when blacksmith is condemned for
forgery.
The kind Of food which a hungry
beggar most dislikes is the "cold
shoulder"
The raindrops that fall when the
brightness is gone are the tears of the
sky for the loss of the sun.
A JOKE is not 80 durable as a church
bell. After it has been tolled few
tunes it Is worn out.
WHAT'S the use OF going hungry in
this land OF agentsp Amy man can get
board.
WHEN a doctor lances carbuncle
doesn't he cut q swell?
NOTHING is more shocking than an
electric battery.
A MoDIsTE is not modest In her
charges.
BREECHEs of contract-Those that
shrink.
How many feet are there in school
yard2
The diamond fieid-The shirt front.
DONE with the pen--A dead pig.
-.@@.=
We cheerfully call the attention of
readers to the merits of Dobbins' Elec-
trio Soap, tmade by Cragin &c Co., Phil
adelphia,) who confidently ask a trial.
The soap will tell It's own story. We
advise you to try 1t.
FROM THE HUB.-There is perhaps no
tonic offered to the people that pos
sesses as much real intrinsic value rs
the Hop Bitters. just at this season of
the year, when the stomach needs an
appetizer, or the blood needs purifying,
the cheapest and best remedy is Hop
Bitters. An ounce OF prevention ia
worth pound OF cure, don't wait until
you are prostrated by disease that
may take months for you to recover in.
boston Globe.
Not Deserving of Pity.
RornoroI onon1tL, ~