West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1879-11-01


not recommend them high enough. -
b., Rochester, y. Y. See other column.
YOUNG woman from the rural dis
trlcts entered dry goods store the
other day and asked for pair of stock
lngs. The clerk politely asked her
what number she wore. "Why, two,
you fool. Do you think | am "A cent?
pede, or that L have wooden leg?"
AN unsuccessful vocalist went to the
poor-house and delighted the inmates
with his singing. He said 10 was nat
ural thing for him to do, as he HAD
been singing TO poor-hOuses ever since
he began his career.
1t is said that a minister i'm country
kirk In Scotland stopped i'm the course
OF his sermon To ask member who was
deaf. Are We hearin, John p" ooh,
aye" was the response, 81 am hearing.
but to vera little purpose"
The man who fell off the fence into
the brambles was much nettled by the
occurrence, ''We hope thistle be appre-
Gated" says punster. Weed have
said the same thing.
A NEW song is called ooh Stay With
Me, My Darling, Stay" But the young
man looke1 at the clock and said he
must get home in time for breakfast,
ana he had over half n mile to drive.
buy a trunk, Pat" said dealer.
And what for should L buy trunk? ''
reJoined Pat. ''To put yonr clothes
in,' was the reply. "And go naked ~
exclaimed Pat; mot bit iv itp'
"PA, what is meant by paradise -
PARADISE, my son" replied the father,
Paradise, my son, is the
latter part of next summer, when your
mother goes on visit to your grand
mother"
How much are those fearful bulbs
by the quartz" asked a maiden of n
tradesmau the other morning. He
stared at her moment as IL bewildered.
but soon recovered himself, and blufflV
said, "Oh, them inyuns? Tenpence.
A NORWICH man calls himself on
his card Temperance Bootmaker. -
me need of the temperance boots is
apparent; for, though they're not gen
orally drunk, it's notorious fact that
they're often tight.
In takes but one trial to show the
purity and merit of Dobblns' Electric
Soap, (made by Cragin & Co., Philadel
phia). For your own interest give it
that one trial. All grocers keep it.
$O
LADY-"And put just a tint of car
Lg httf
you know" Photographer-"E
ly, madame; | perfectly understand:
ABOUT as much as you have on now"
PRISONER, were you not afraid to
take that money from your employers
tlll-you, mere child in years ?''
"Oh, yes, sir; was afraid I'd be
cotched."
MAMIE" said mother to a six-year
old, elf was little girl like you ia
pick up all those chips" well, ma
ma, said the little one, "Ain't Won
glad you are not little girl ?"
SUNDAY school teacher: "You must
remember that all am telling you hap
pened 1879 years ago" Pupil: "Lor.
Miss, how the time do slip away"
The annual amount of pin-monev
required by married women depends
on whether she uses diamond-pins or
rolling-pins.
a NEIGHBoR informs us that his wife
never knew quiet night until the doc
tor prescribed DR.. BULBS Baby Svrup
Tor her little one.
WHEN mans chin whiskers turn
gray before the hair on his head does
It shows which part of him has done
the most work.
why is ship the politest thing i'm
the WORLDLY Because it ALWAYS adj
vances with bow.
It's coming about the time when
men begin 70 ike theirs hot with lit
tie sugar in 1t.
The rou2d, innocent and trusting
lace oil the pumpkin now beams I'm our
market.
WHICH Is the best of trees A
straight firY Because It is fir-straight.
The reigning beauties of England
arc daughters OF Clergymen.
Boiled starch is much improved bv
the addition Of little sperm, or a little
salt, or both, or little gum arabic dis
solved.
Salt will Curdle new milk; hence i'm
preparing milk pOrridge, GRAVES, etc.
The salt should not be added until the
dish is prepared.
COOP -four is not tested by It's color.
White flour may not be the bOst. The
test Of good flour is by the amount of
water IL absOrbs.
Laugh and Grow FatS
This ancient bit Of advice Is well
enough for "spare" people, but how
about those that are already too fatY
What Is ~ become OF them2 SIT still.
and III tell you. After many expert,
ments, extending through months OF
nnfNnmf toll