Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1879-10-22
" A Course Of Pinch"

IN OOut sc VI
Basil Larned had Just aired his skepti.
cism, aud fatigued with his own eloquence
had thrown himself at full length on the
library lounge, and was now caressing his
handsome moustache with an air Of having
settled the affairs of the universe to his en-
tire satisfaction. His companion, an old
gentleman of seventy, who had listened in
silent astonishment to his grandson's Ian
guage, finally opened his mouth and remarked
very slowly, but with unusual expression,
Basil, you're an ass -
The young man thus scathingly apostro-
phized turned his head and laughingly sur
veyed his elderly relative.
"That is just what you are" the old
gentleman continued "and there is but one
thing | can think of that might possibly
put an end to your braying and turn you out
a man ; and that is course of pinch"
"a course of what, sir ?" inquired his
grandson, with as much appearance Of sur
prise as his lazy attitude would admit of.
"A course of PINCH" replied Mr.. Larned.
You have had your courses of mathe-
mates, and rhetoric, and logic, and French,
and German, and goodness knows what not,
and yet you are as unsatisfactory dog as
ever disgraced the name of Larned. Now
think if you could have good course of
pinch you might get to be something decent" "
"You mean by that, SIR" said Basil, still
laughing, az that it would be good thing for
me if could suddenly be made poor, and
have to sweep floors or black boots for the
rest of my education. Is that it, grand
father?"
my boy" the old gentleman replied, sand
| oo,,1Ip'f off0rl ~, 81 10
send letters TO half the girls in creation, and
trumpery presents, and no time to make a
splurge over what you are pleased to call
your skepticsm land now grandfather 5
nose was elevated to an unusual angle) |
do really think there might be chance for
you. Now you study Just enough to keep
your place in your classes at college, and not
enough to do you any good when you leave
it. | presume you have the reputation of
being good fellow, Basil, but consider you
the biggest simpleton of my acquaintance
Basips laugh was one of genuine amuse.
ment. 1t was very funny to hear the old
gentleman discourse of the follies of youth
forgetting all his own, of course And
Basil wondered, as he laughed, what par
ticular kind of "sprouts his grandfather
had once taken "course of.
"Anybody would think, grandfather" he
said, that you were model young man
| don't suppose you ever wrote letters to
young ladies' Oh, no certainly not w
flash of annoyance overspread the ole
mans face, as he replied "I never wrot'
but one letter to a girl in my life, and tina
was the document in which l asked you
grandmother to be my wife; and | neve
made any young lady present till / gav'
your grandmother the ring which told o
encouragement. Another bit of stupidity ant
conceit was never guilty of either, my boy
and that was to endeavor to put a premium
on my intellectual stock by talking abou
my skeptcism in relation to spiritual affairs
If had had any, | assure you | should no
have been proud of it. You have read
few scientific books, and have learned +
ring the changes on protoplasm, and fey
similar words which really mean no NOR
: to you than to me. A course OF pine
; would squeeze that nonsense out OF you, IN
boy. Another thing, Basil. In my tim
the parents who allowed their daughters t
receive presents from gentlemen they weI
not engaged to would have been very 81
verey, and think Justly, criticised You
father allowed me to look at your list of e,
penditures the other day, and the turquoise
,, pearls, lockets, chains, reticules, bracelet
rings, etc., etc., ETC., furnish a formidab
array of proof against the matrons OF tt
country, whatever may be said of the lack {
discretion and womanlness of the daughter
8 "Well, declare, grandfather" said Basi
: rising, evidently more astonished than
!, had been in long time, "you haven't lie
: me leg to stand on. If have any goc
= points / wish you would mention one
!, more, that ! may not leave you without carr
y ing away some character with me-"
!, Have no fears" said his grandfatht
y with a smile. "Your concet will comic
% you, my boy. The fact is, your good poin
!, are so emphasized by your self esteem tn
:, there is no need for me TO spend time en-
:, merating them"
y The very next day Basil went back to c.
- lege. For an hour or two after leaving
y grandfather he didn't feel quite at ca
!; with himself His amour propre had be
\. wounded, but the hurt soon passed off, a
"A Basil could almost laugh at the remembran
'a "s of the old fogy's sermon. When he unpack
1,e 1pe his trunk the first glance at cameo S
as bought at Tiffany's for the young lady W
"a had beaten at a rowing match, and thir
" dollar fan for another young lady whom he
allowed to philopene him, with various otf
trinkets for possible emergencies, did |
produce in our young hero the usual feeli
in of satisfaction. For a moment he realiz
he that such trifles as these, combined w
IL certain high-toned and Epicureau dissi
d. tions, made up the sum total of his eartl
,st desires. For his studies as studies he cal
ct little or nothing. For his studies as givi
nt. him place among the cultured and refr
}? he cared great deal. Basil Larned v
Ter generous to prodigality, and good-natured
a the verge of prohigacy, and as thought
ito in regard to any occupation or usefulness
ng the future as the professional tramp as
ee, what particular hay-loft shall have the hol
Tor OF COUGHING his lazy body when night cor
ere on. A course of pinch, il it were to co
all right away, might save him but 1t is o
ere in novels that fathers lose their property
be the particular purpose of giving their son
1re chance TO make something OF themselves, {
g." only in fiction, too, that fortunes are sent
on those who really deserve them.
se- Several days passed, and all the stude
the had returned to college with the except
ith of one senior No word had been recei
all by the faculty. aud the young mans c
as tinued absence became at last subject
ms general conversation. Gilbert Hazen
'od the first in his class and young man v
always minded his own business, and "
from first to last, had never been inyol
in any OF the numerous college scral
He did not belong TO Basil's set OF convi'
90. spirits, and they rarely met except vi
|ef- Basil sought him for theological tilt, as
not called it., and at such times was alw
ave pleasantly entertained.
cal One morning Basil received letter fl
he his father informing him that he had
In cided to take one-half the spending mo
100, which he for the last three years had allo'
lies his son, to help educate a poor relat
by This letter Basil knew had been inspired
OIL. his grandfather, who was anxious to put
co. course of pinch into active operation,
Ter the young mans anger knew no bour
sh' lie walked the floor and said hard thi
out of all his relatives, and poor grandfat
'm was abused worst of all. Then he WI
asst several stormy letters, all Of which he
Bu' stroyed, and, too excited to attend his r
out tation, rushed out of the house in hope
ihi cooling off a little so that he might comp
thu RIGHT kind of a letter 10 his father.