The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1879-09-18
GThe Syndicate -,

1t is one of the trials imposed by a stern Prov
idence upon poor, weak humanity, that we
sometimes, at great pains, erect an elaborate
air-castle, and, just at the moment of comp le-
ton, see adverse winds seize upon and rudely
scatter it into boundless space.
| The leaders of the Syndicate-Gen. Buster,
the Learned Shoemaker, Bill, Mcawber and
the Howard, have labored earnestly to con-
vince the people of Ohio that the Thomas Ew-
| ing plan of finance is just what the people
| need.
Just as they are getting ready to "claim eve
rything exultingy," the corrupt Jim Blaine,
Sherman, the Resumption Fiend, Hayes, the
| Fraud, and all the powers of the corrupt Ad-
| ministration, rush off to Maine, and, in direct
violation of the Civil Service Order, proceed to
"sweep the State" for the Republican ticket
Then the news came 'from Maine to California
I-Replblicans triumphant!
| Something must be done-and done speedily.
The long, spider-like legs of the Tall Butternut
were seen flying about the streets, as he hunted
up the faithful. At last having collected up all
| the statesmen of the Syndicate who could be
| found the T. p. paused for rest.
"Whew )" said the Tall Butternut, 81 haven't
| had such a race since 1 throwed thai ar
| beer in the barkeeper's eyes"
The statesmen exchanged glances, but none
seemed inclined to speak. Presently Migawber
arose and said
"My friends, as we go along, we snOuiu
thoroughly understand"
CT understand that California has gone clean
for the Republicans" said Long Ed.
"Californy always vas a stubborn blace,"
said Bandy. "Ef man shteals a hoss out dere
he's hung, sure"
"Never mind, :" said the Col, "as said before,
we should u nderstand-"
"I understand" said Isaac the Slim, who was
passing, "that Maine has made clean sweep
for the Re-
"IT's BLANK LIE J" yelled Bluster.
Cd the Repu-"
But Cardinal Johns remark was drowned out
by the Brick, who exclaimed, "Oh, that the
Mississippi Plan would work in Maine"
"Neyer mind" said Bill, "Bluster will clean
em out in this county, on the tramp law"
81 have in my attendance on the sick poor,
ridden the township over" said Isaac the Slim,
"and haven't found but one man who opposed
the Tramp Law, and that man never did a
days work in his life.
"Well, WELL" said Micawber, "luck seems to |
be with us. Every day hear of new accesstons
to our ranks. Every time the General and me |
speaks at cross roads or blacksmith shop we |
Fix up story that just ruins Paine"
"Ah,'' said Howard shaking his head, "that |
story business is what's running us-1ve dis
covered that. If there's one thing do love
more than another, its the truth, the glorious
L
"Now, my friends said Long Ed, "it's plain
to me, as it ought to be to you, that no matter
what may be the shortcomings of the glori Gus
old emocratic party, it never can be so degen-
crate as to be led by such fellows assume the
of the party in Jackson county.
NO." said Truthful James, "these fellows
assume the leadership in matters of finance,
and there isn't more than two out of the whole
yang from whom a dollar could be recovered
IN execution"
"My friends" said the Cardinal, sit seems to
ne we amt as harmonious we oughter be. 1
eem to see signs Nv breakin' up in the party.
3etwixt you an me, know Ewins is a fraud
I'll who foller his fool ideas about the National
Banks, is frauds"
Here Bandy who had waddled into the Book
tore, came rushing up, shouting
"Py shiminy. men, look here-Egg. Lodwick
nd his two boys turnt Republican " g
Cardinal John yelled CD Tom Ew-D- the
se-'' and he beat upon the ground in his
lis confusion.
Then the Tall Butternut came straddling up,
7ith quder expression of countenance.
"What is it Jim? Spit it out ~ said the Brick.
"Judge Young, of Cleveland, left tn Demo- &
ratio party"
Then there was a confused howl of CD the'' C
spy shiminy'-"Down with confu"-and the a
indicate dispersed. Bill went down street to t
nquire how many hours there were in a days E
7ork, Isaac went away to notify the Trustees Y
hat he was attending to the medical wants of +
oseph Doan, Cardinal John went home to put
n extra paddock on his money box, until the h
wing campaign shall have ended, Bandy went q
, "ginger'' a horse for the next trade, and the
Ist seen of Bluster, he was sitting in front of
OBJ Lees portrait looking hungry, and trying
sing "The Jolly Beggars," to the tune of c.
Bonny Blue Flag" Col. Micawber went away ii
lcked by serious misgivings, and Rip and the a
earned S. according to the good old Demo-
attic plan ''silently stole away" The meet E
lgs of the Syndicate no longer productive e
great good to "the cause.-The lost cause. II
''Isaac the Slim" met us on the street the
,her night and gave US notice that we must
OF use his name any more in connection with
lie Syndicate He says he can take a joke
ljoys joke-eyen likes a joke, and does not
1ject to joke at his expense, but jokes must
OF be carried too far. To place him as consult
lg with such men as mostly compose the Syn Il
cate, is carrying the joke entirely too far. To G.
Sinuate that he associates with such men, he s.