Litchfield enquirer., 1879-10-16
CLIPPINGS.

.
 The soft shell crab considers his case hard one.
 The Board of Education-the schoolmaster's shingle.
 It was a confirmed drunkard who exclaimed, I had rather be tight than be President. A gentleman in conversation said that his dogs were Al Shouldn't they have been rated
 It is getting chilly; it is time to light the, office fire. Now is the time to send in poeins, on Autumn.
 | I never had a man cum to me for advice, but before he got thru he had more advice to offer 1 than to ask for. E sE.tr
 "A Fraud in Silks" is the startling headline in an exchange. An! Went back on you, | did she
 The man who saw Grants vessel first and was first to propose three cheers has already filed his claim for postoftice. l At social gathering few day since the fol- lowing toast was proposed and drank: "ln ascending the hill of prosperity may we never meet a friend" ....'.
 "Woman is delusion, madam" exclaimed a crusty old bachelor to witty young lady. "And man is always hugging some delusion or other," was the quick retort.
 A good old negro was burned to a crisp re- centiy somewhere down in Georgia. The text of the funeral address, oddly enough, was: "Well done, thou good and faithful servant"
 "Yourson madam, persists in doing noth- ing. '" says the director. .'Then," replies the woman, sby noa means disconeerted, ''you should give him the prize for perseverance. .''
 ssFullness under the eye denotes language" we are told. So it does, and, we fear, bad language, too, at times. In recent instance a fullness under the eye denoted that the pos l sessor had calleda man a liar. | Sydney Smith could not let slip a chance to make joke. The Rev. MT. Selwyn departed as missionary for New Zealand. Smith took him warmly by the hand and said, "Goodby, my dear Selwyn; hope you will disagree with the man who eats you" l A waxwork figure of Franklin, exhibition in France is labelled. Franklin, inventor of | electricity. This savant, after having made seven voyages around the world, died on the Sandwich Islands and was devoured by sava- | ges, of whom not single fragment was ever | recovered.
 "The fesh-po s.'-The parson: ''1m very sorry to hear Mrs. Brown, that you were pres ent last night at Plymouth Brethren's tea meeting, have often told you that these doctrines are highly erroneous!" Mrs. Brown: Erroneous, sir, their doctrines may be; but their cake, with S4ltany ralsins, is excel lent!"
 A gentleman sent his Irish servant up to his room for pair of boots, and at the same time told him 10 be sure and get mates, as there l were two pairs in the closet. Patrick return l Q0 fWO huf don't you see that these are not alike-one is a long top and the other a short one ?" said the gentleman, out of patience with the fellow. ''Bedad, your honor" said Pat in apology, "and it's true for ye; but thin the other pair was just so, too!'''
 A minister in the north of Scotland was talk ing to task one of his hearers who was a fre- quent absentee, and the accused defended him. self on the plea of dislike to long sermons '"Deed, mon," said his reverend monitor, I little nettled at the insnuation, Eff ye dinna mend, ye may land yerself where yell na be troubled wi many sermons, either long or short" ''Weel aiblins (perhaps) sae," retor- ted John, "but it may be nae for want O min l isters."
 1 "Theodore," observed solicitous young mother to her husband, ''I think I will not let little Geogey attend Sunday school any more 1 1 find the poor boy is quite feVerish tonight, and his feet are all blistered." Upon hearing which Georgey inwardly groans, for next Sun day they were to meet for the last time to set tie the number of quarter miles walked, and he knows now that chance for any share in 25 cents gate money is gone forever.
 The following specimens of some of the | written examinations of the London public schools are worth reprinting: 'Where is Turin ?" ''Tureen is the capital of Chiner; the peepul there lives on birds nests and has | long tails J" "What do you know of the patri- arch Abraham?" "He was the father of Lot and ad tew wifes-wun was called Hishmale and t'other Haygur. He kept one at home and he turned tother into the desert, where she became pillow of fire at nite."
 WHAT HAPPENED TO MIR. BEACH. Hun dreds of persons will read with pleasure the interesting article in relation to case of MT. J. S. Beack, of Stone Ridge, which we publish below. Mir. Beach is one of the most respected citizens of Stone Ridge, and is extensively known oyer this and adjoining countries. The story is almost too good to be true. There is no reason to doubt it, however, for the names of parties interested-who are of unquestioned veracity- and the dates are carefully given, while hundreds of others stand ready to prove he statement in every particular. The article is not only interesting. but no doubt will prove of incalcuable value to a great many people, R0nd0Wt Freeman.
 | STONE IN TIE BLADDER EXPELLED AFTER USING | MEDICINE ABOUT TWO WEEKS.
 One of the most remarkable cases that has ever been brought to the notice of the public is Il tIiatsof Mr J. 5. Beach, of Stone Ridge, Ul- l ster Co.,, N. Y.
 Mir. Beach had suffered since Oct. 1S 1874 from the presence of Calculus or Stone in the | Iii, nd ha in, of ter mouth more than tongue can tell, which rendered him totally unable to attend to hls usual occupatlon. No less than seven phys- clans were employed at different times, to whom Mir. Beach paid hundreds of dollars for medical treatment, with only temporary relief from his agony.
 By the urgent solicitation of his friends he was induced to try Dr. Kennedy's Favorite Remedy. Accordingly, on the 18th day of August last he procured bottle of Mr. Kim Fl niuSc, Jnls county, ana strange as it may seem, it is none the less true that he experienced a marked improvement from the first day he began to use the medicine. He continued to grow better every day, when on the 10th of September he voded a stone as large as could be passed through the natural channel, which was very rough and of irregu- lar shape. His joy was unbounded, for he well knew that this had been the cause of all his trouble. He showed the srouo to aoveral of ; the physicians who had attended him previous to using the FaVorie Remedy, and ALL of then, , expressed in unneasured terms their surprise at the PROMPTNESS and CERTAINTY with which the Favorite Remedy had acted Nor did they seek to hide their pleasure at seeing Mir. Beach so happily relieved of his difficulty
 MT. Beach concludes a long letter to uDr. i Kennedy by. saying: You indeed have made I great discovery one that has and will com tinue toprovca real blessing boon to suffer- ing humanity: and 1t will always afford me pleasure to recommend the Favorite Remedy to those who may be suffering from difficulties of the Kidneys and Bladder, or any disorders arising from an impure state of the blood You are at liberty to make such use of this | letter as you may think best.