The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1879-06-22
JEUX D'ESPRIT AGAINST WIVES.
CONTRIBUTED BIZ Il. s.


b. CONTRIBUTED BIZ Il. s.
Happily 1T is no longer considered refined
to make disparaging jokes regarding wives.
In times past wives were made the butt for
dull wits and OF ilI-bred men, who, when In
their cups, leveled their shafts OF spite at
women who, as women and wives, far sur
passed them In virtue and eonstaney.
Samuel Johnson was never derractor OF
women. He regretted that the excessive re-
finement Of the marriage ceremony almost
made it inappropriate to weddings Of an I'M
romantic kind.
Walter Scott fully appreciated the sublim-
ity OF women, their. virtues and their excel
lence-he immortaIized himself when In his
fine poem OF Marmion he wrote these lines:
Oh woman, ia our hours of ease,
Uncertain. coy and nard 10 Please
And variable as the shade,
By the uuiyerfng aspen made,
When pain and anguish rend the BROW,
minislering angel thou,
Many beautiful expressions might be coli
lated from our best authors showing their just
appreciation OF woman's devotedness as we'll
as the beauties of her mind. Woman has
been the theme and greatly the means Of the
refinement, elevation and the civilization q
man, but jewelers., sots and superficial think
ers praeticed their rfbaldry on that divinity
which they 80 little understood.
Boswell, the toady OF johnson but his great.
biographer, trembled when he submitted the
following lines to his great patron:
In The bIlthe days Of honey onfs s,.}na.
loved her late, loved her soon,
And.called her dearest kitten.
But now my kittens grown ., cat,
And cross like other wives.
OBJ by my soul, my dearest Mat.
fear she has nine lives.
cit Ia very we'll. said the illustrious Iexi-
eographer; "but be advised. II you have any
wit use it In praise OF wine."
Love and marriage we're topics IN which
skilled writer's OF more poetic wit Than bos.
divine. We are Indebted for Celia,s pithy re-
tort:
Cries Celia to reverend dean,
What reason can be given, #5
Since marriage Is a holy thing, ..
That there Is none in Heaven Z"
mo women are there" the dean replied.
She quick returns the jest
Women there are, but I'm afraid
They cannot find priest .a%Y4~
The German poet Besser produced the fol-
lowing epigram on adam SIeep."
He laid him down and slept and from his side
A woman In her magic beauty rose;
Dazzled and charmed. ne called that woman
And bis first sleep became his last repose.''
Another versifier, whose name have for
gotten, wrote the following on Scold1ng
woman:
Here lies. thank God. 9. woman who
Qu arrelled her Whole lif g. th.ra nl 2.
Tread gently Ger her mOuIderIng forms
Or else you'll raise another Storm.
It Is told (but fear It Is an old Joe Miller
OF farmer who had married twice, that both
his wives hung themselves unto death on
fig tree, upon which his married ne1ghbOfS
sought and obtained twigs OF this same tree
to plant near their houses, saying slip OF
| this fruitful tree is valuable, for remember we
| have wives. Another, following his Wife's
corpse to the grave, was disturbed Dy Inc
| loud beating OF drums, when the Dereaved
| the dfummers and begged them to cease with
their noise or they might wake up his wife.
The celebrated chef de cuisine. Monsieur
Soyer, when his wife died, asked wit Tor an
i Il was malicionsly suggested these TWO
words: "Soges 1ranq4stte"
Monsieur Soyer was determed to have an
eptaph. He therefore wrote and had en-.
Green grandiose and highly sentimental
/ Inscription, respecting which Douglas Jerroid
remarked that 1t reminded him OF "moek
/ turtle"
Women have been more generous ID their
epitaphs on their deceased husbands, and
which could be quoted did space and time
admit. The following, however. may amuse
f A celebrated pyrotechnfst died. when his
wife determined to immortalize him on mon
umentai marble, but she could not compose
an original line OF verse. She Therefore
adopted an epitaph inscribed on an adjacent
tomb erected to- the memory OF q nsnsical
composer:
"He has gone to world where alone his
harmonies could be surpassed.
The simple lady adapted the epifaph and
/ substituted fireworks for "harmonies."
In these days Of the so-ealle q n Women =
leave their homes, their children and their
gentleness, to engage In the narsher pursuits
OF men-to mingle Ia the turmoil OF political
i life, strife, and the coarse struggles unfitted
to their gentle natures. When women have
thus unfeminized themselves, may not ther
jokes and ribald jests, long since sileneed, BIZ
a revived?
Oh, woman, be contented with your almosf
divine mission on earth; man has placed yo1
on a pedestal then kneit down and Worshipet
you as the goddess Of his idolatry.