davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

When lady, by accident, discov-
ers that her photographer has just put
her picture in his show case, she goes
home and makes terrible time over
it, but she doesn t order it to be ia.
ken out.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

A FORTUNATE CELEsTIAL-A Crit
ic reporter the other day, in his wan
derings up and down and to and fro
encountered Chinaman who rejoice'
in the cognomen of Gin 10y Gin
10y is peculiarly fortunate China
man in a pecunlary sense, and when
observed by our reporter was consid
erably under the influence of beer.
Me makee heapee monee, observed
Gin 10y in hiccupy way. Me goes
home China now. Live alice same'
likee fighting cock.
How much money have you got ?
asked the Critic man.
Me sendee thousand dolla home tt
tathee and mothee, said Gin 10y
and ne takee fifteen hundred dolla
Me no workee any more
Here Gin 10y closed his eyes in 6
sort Of anticipatory ecstacy.
How did you make your money
Me comee from Philadelpfy me
cookee on ship; me stay in Plttsburg
three week. Makee monec at Cape
Town on opium.
'Ho do you like the Cinnamon ii
Pittsburg?
No goocee; washee business nc
use; Cinnamon to dance lazy. Smoke
opium and gamble allie time
Noticing that Gin 10y was minus
a queu, the reporter inquired tae rea.
son, whereupon he stated.
Dance sailee on ship cuttee off
Me can't go Chinee till it grow again,
and with these few words the Celes.
tial showed the reporter large sized
Colts revolver, which he had pur.
chased to defend himself with while
en- route to China, and then he went
into a neighboring saloon to refresh
himself.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

Drilling class in poetry, a teach
er quoted the familiar lines of Ten
nyson, You must wake and call me
early, call me early, mother, dear.
Now she asked, why did the girl
want to be called early ? Don't
know, replied Tommy, unless it was
because that was her name.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24
SOCIETIES.

4. r. and 4. NJ, No 155-Meets every
second and fourth Monday in each month.
Van B. Oslcr. Secretary.
X of z. No. 67-Mect every Friday
night. X. of r. &. S., Z. Harman.
/. O. of 0. f., No. 46-Mcct every
Thursday night John Landcrs, Sec'y.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

Mrs. Emanuel Berry, mildly in
sane, was left alone with her three
children in Kent county, Mich, and
when her husband returned home he
found them all dead. She had killed
the children with Ratchet and her.
self with revolver.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

During the storm, Friday evening,
four large hay rick on the farm Of
John Smith, on the York Road, fifteen
teen miles from Baltimore were struck
by lightning and burned up The
flames could plainly be seen for miles
around,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

George q. Cannon, Albert Caring
ton and Brigham Young, Jr, execu.
tors Of Brigham Young's will, and
John Taylor, have been arrested for
contempt in refusing to appear before
the receiver of Youngs estate, as di.
rected by the court.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24
MECEIANICSTOWN.

Burgess-A. Slick,
C,u,aixsioners Warner, T. Grimes, w.
T.. Armacost, VIM. Six, Vim. Lldia.
Cfrk-S. IL. WithGrow.
Idr C0j1ector Six.
postn.a.ter-John Root.
Coastabley-Calcb Peddcold and Joseph
Six.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

A terrific wind and rain storm
passed over Ohio, Michigan and sew
eral other western states on Friday
afternoon, doing much damage to
crops and unroofng and blowing
down buildings. Several persons were
seriously inj ure1.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

Mrs, Thomas Scally and her son,
residing in Texas, ESghth dist, Balti-
more county, we're struck by light
ming during Fridays storm. The son
has recovered, but Mrs Scally remains
in an unconscious condition..
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

When you see woman looking in
the window of mil,iner store, de-
pend on it, there will be hole made
in some mans bank account the next
day.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

A special from Wilkesbarre Pa,
says; Charles Gardner, aged 9, and
William, his brother, aged l2, were
drowned here to, day while the elder
brother was trying to rescue tie
younger. A number of persons in the
water at the time were too cowardly
to 90 to their assistance.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

A condemned man, preparatory to
his execution, being requested by the
Sheriff to step upon the scaffold, said
be d be hanged if he would.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

1t does not follow that women are
cobblers or blacksmiths because they
are good hands to shoe hens.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

We ask for riches, and do not find
them we do not seek for death, but,
alas he comes.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24
DIREC rory
uF FREDERICK COUNTY
AND
The Borough of MechanicStown
COUNTY OFFICERS:

COUNTY tOFFICERS:
Chief ,Judge-Hon. r. I. Bowie.
Assocmres-Hons John A Lynch and W.
A Bouic.
States Attorney-John G. Motter.
Clerk Of Circuit COurt-Thomas Cor
such.
!Ster;f-Col. VIM Richardson,
Awktor-Fred'k. J. Nelson.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

lie couldn't raise the mortgage on
his building lot, and SO, poor man,
without becoming blind, he lost his
site.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

After severe conclusion of his
head with the leg Of table and sew
ers,l thumps of his lower extremities,
Lula managed to reach his ticking
accuser' and turn its accusative hands
around.
That is done, so will just find my
slippers and turn in.
While he was endeavoring to find
his slippers the unfortunate man was
crawling around on his hands and
knees, when bright light invaded
the room, causing him to look inquir-
ingly up. and to his surprise he saw
Mrs. Latitia Lula, his better half
standing in the doorway with lamp
in her hand.
Can ! be Of any assistance.to you,
Mr.. Lula p she asked.
'Halloa exclaimed Mr.. Lula, nn-
guardedIy, falling in grotesque sit
ting posture.
Can | assist you in your search
What, not in bed, dearest duck
my own darling,' said Mr.. i.
DO not duck and darling me, sir !
do not intend on this occasion to be
put off in that manner; | want to
know, and insist on knowing, where
you passed the night, and who with !
But, dar-
Where have you passed the night?
The night, love? Why, what are
you dreaming of? The cigar shop
over there is open, and the grocery
store was lighted up when | came
home. And it is only | | clock, dear
look at the clock.
We'll, | did look at the clock, and
it S half past 3. Been tamperlng
with it too. @, Mr.. Lulll.
Mrs. Lula, it will obIlse nelf you
put the lamp on the table and not
stand in the attitude Of Lady Mac
beth While on her midnight mission
to Duncan's chamber to sQuelch out
his vital spark.
Mr.. Lula, you are brute. Turn
it off
Turn what off, love 2
The subject of my question.
What question
Where have YOU passed the night?
AT the club with Brown.
The club ?
Yes. Now go to bed, dear, or you
will lose the roses from those bloom
ing cheeks, while lay down here and
think where ! left my slippers before
| went out.
Mr.. Lula laid himself on sofa IN
the centre Of the room and prepared
to sleep, while his wife set the lamp
on the table and applied herself as
siduously to keep him awake.
Mr.. Lula, you shall not evade me
in this manner she said, shaking MIR.
Lula.
My dear, my eyelids refuse to stay
up.
But they must, do you hear?'
Yes, my dear, I always hear you.
hear YOU in my Dreams
No nonsense with me, sir. Here
YOU come home at 3 o'clock in the
morning; you smell of the vilest to-
bacco; you play at hunt the slipper,
and when | ask for an explanation
you lay down and sleep. Mr.. Lula,
your conduct is unbearable. | cant
put up with it, and l won't put up
with it,
My dear, you know | 'lote on you,
but when "a fellow is so sleepy
And Mr.. Simon Lula stretched
out his limbs and composed himself to
rest.
'Ah, Simon, there was time-you
loved me then, Simon-when first l
listened to your tale of love, and
the music Of those sweet
words. Your hair was curly then,
the purple light Of love was on your
brow, aud new your face is purple
with port wine negus, and you smell
Of nothing better than tobacco smoke.
Mrs. Lula waited for the effect of
ler words, but received only a re-
3ponsive snore.
Hes fast asleep, and beyond the
hearing Of my words Simon, Simon,
wake up, and go to bed in the proper
manner.
No answer.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

Sealers Of weights and measures
should investigate the weigh Of the
transpressOr,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

Nothing will more remind a man Of
the value Of little things than plate
Of Strawberries at church festival.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

The reason why Tommy didn't
seem inclined to. make room for his
uncle was because it was Il carb .un.
Gle
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

The most uncommon thing we
know Of, is common sense.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

The curer Of heavy pork is big
hamist.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

Miss. Construction-Paint, powder,
whalebone, etc.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

A chop house-A kindling wood
factory.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

Advance Notes.-The burglars call.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24

After dinner-a hungry man.
Something to avoid-A vacuum.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1879-07-24
RATES OF ADVERTISING

Local or SpeClul HOtlCcS ~ EntS liilo
JOB PRINTING executed with neat
ness and dispatch and on liberal terms
Materials all new and good impression
guaranteed.
Job Work-CASH ON DELIVERY
After dinner-a hungry man.
Something to avoid-A vacuum.
Advance Notes.-The burglars call.
A chop house-A kindling wood
factory.
-----. . .-------
The curer Of heavy pork is big.
hamist.
Miss. Construction-Paint, powder,
whalebone, etc.
The most uncommon thing we
know Of, is common sense.
Sealers of weights and measures
should investigate the weigh of the
transgressor.
We ask for riches, and do not find
them we do not seek for death, but,
alas he comes.
---. >-------
It does not follow that women are
cobblers or blacksmiths because they
are good hands to shoe hens.
-- -
The reason why Tommy didn't
seem inclined to make room for his
uncle was because it was carb .un.
Gle.
Nothing will more remind man Of
the value of little things than plate
Of Strawberries at church festival.
lie couldn't raise the mortgage on
his building lot, and SO, poor man,
without becoming blind, he lost his
site.
When you see woman looking in
the window of mil,iner store, de-
pend on it, there will be a hole made
in some mans bank account the next
day.
A condemned man, preparatory to
his execution, being requested by the
Sheriff to step upon the scaffold, said
he'd be hanged if he would
When lady, by accident, discov-
ers that her photographer has just put
her picture in his show case, she goes
home and makes a terrible time over
it, but she doesn t order it to be ia.
ken out.
A terrific wind and rain storm
passed over Ohio, Michigan and sew
eral other western states on Friday
afternoon, doing much damage to
crops and unroofing and blowing
down buildings. Several persons were
seriously injured.
George Q. Cannon, Albert Caring
ton and Brigham Young, Jr., execu.
tors Of Brigham Youngs will, and
John Taylor, have been arrested for
contempt in refusing to appear before
the receiver Of Youngs estate, as di-
rected by the court.
A special from Wilkesbarre Pa,
says; Charles Gardner, aged 9, and
William, his brother, aged l2, were
drowned here to-day while the elder
brother was trying to rescue tie
younger. A number of persons in the
water at the time were too cowardly
to 60 to their assistance.
Mrs, Thomas Scally and her son,
residing in Texas, Eighth dist, Balti-
more county, were struck by light
ming during Fridays storm. The son
has recovered, but Mrs Scally remains
in an unconscious condition..
During the storm, Friday evening,
four large hay rick on the farm of
John Smith, on the York Road, fifteen
teen miles from Baltimore were struck
by lightning and burned up The
flames could plainly be seen for miles
around.
Mrs. Emanuel Berry, mildly in
sane, was left alone with her three
children in Kent county, Mich, and
when her husband returned home he
found them all dead. She had killed
the children with Ratchet and her
self with revolver.
An old man fell dead in Mansville,
Pa, one Sunday night recently, while
sitting in the parlor where his daugb-
Tor and her younp nan were sparking.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-05-09
Hampton N ews.

hAMPTON, may StH. 1oiSs
Ed, Argus:
Miss Minnie Pratt, daughter of Mr., and
Mrs. G. E Pratt, died on Tuesday morn
ing after long illness. The funeral was
held yesterday at the Congregational
church. Rey A. Harper, of Port Byron
officiating, which was largely attended ,and
a large circle of friends followed her to the
grave. The family have the sympathy of
their many friends in their sad bereave-
ment
The party at Cromptons Hall last Fri
day evening was we'll attended, and the
supper furnished by Mine Host of the
Porter House was superb, all that attended
were well paid for their trouble.
The Blue Ribbon Club are making ex-
tenslve preparations for an entertainment,
for their regular meeting next Monday
night. Rehearsals have been going on for
over week, and all those that attend NAV
be assured of pleasant entertainment.
A little girl of Mr.. Henry Wells had its
fore finger on the left hand cut off below
the first joint by her little brother with an
axe. DR. Hunter was called and dressed
the wound.
Messrs. Thomas & Baker have com
menced improvements on their hall and in
tend making it nice affair. They have
rented it to a number of orders for a term
OF years.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-05-09
RAILROADS.

CLEVELAND, O.. May Sat meeting
at the Kennard House to-day, of the joint
executive committee Of the trunk lines and
Western railroads, it is understood that
live stock rates were agreed upcn as fol-
lows: Chicago to New York, 50 cents;
st. Louis to New York, 373 cents; other
points on nearly the same basis.
New York. May 8.-The adjourned
meeting Of the FIRST mortgage bondholders
of the Central Railroad of Iowa was held
to-day, when the committee appointed at d
previous meeting to confer with the New
York aud Boston committee 10 regard to
adjustment of conflicting claims. reported
as result that the compromise was the
perfecting of plan of reorganization and
the nomination of board of directors of
new company. The report was adopted.
The next meeting will be held at Des
Moines, Ia, May 18th, when the plan will
be submitted to the approval of the Unit
ed States Circuit Court. Articles Of in
corporation Of the new company. which
will be known as the Iowa Central road.
have been prepared. These confer on the
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-05-09
WASHINGTON.

WASHINGTON, May 9.-Four per cent.
certificates sold $936,58. Owing to the
sproportionate demand here as against
other cities no person was allowed to buy
over one hundred dollars in certificates,
The senate committee on epidemic dis
eases, to-day agreed upon amendments in
nature of the substitute for the bill re-
Gently rec0mmitted to them concerning
the national board OF health, and pro-
posed the establishment of national
quarantine. The regulations auJ amend
ments c0uhue the requirements Of the bill
to vessels coming from foreign ports where
any contagious On infectious diseases ex-
lists. Instead OF referring as in the Origi-
nall bill to vessels coming from any foreign
port, and provides that quarantine reguIa-
tons framed by the national board of
health, shall as far as possible be merely
| supplemental regulations, prescribed by
the state and municipal authorities and be
coufdea u them for enforcement it they
will SO undertake, but in cases of refusal
or failure the president may detai, an ofh-
Ger for that purpose. TIL section Of the
| bill explicitly providing authority tor the
board Of health to establish quarantine
stations on the railroads or river lines OF
inter state commerce and to detain good:
| and passengers for disintection is strick Ell
out. The sections authorizing the SAME
body TO investigate the general subject O
the cattle diseases, and to cause inspec
tions 10 be made of All auiica!s arriving a
or exported from different shipping poru
in the United States, are also omitted from
the amendment measure, and the amour
of appropriation asked by the original bill
for expenditure by the national board O
health to carry out its provisions is re
ducod from $65O000 to $500, 900.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-05-09
XLVT CONGRESS
HOUSE.

WASHINGTON, Nay 8.-Mr. Ewing said
he would favor putting the ratio Of gold
and silver as Is! . l, which would ezpel
neither and retain both.
Mr Fisher characterized the bill as &
cheat ADD fraud, aud jn some respects a
free trade measure.
Mr Mills favored the bill, but would
amend it.
MIR. Chittenden opposed the bill as an
assault on the integrity and welfare of the
people. He then proceeded to turn the
light" on Mr., Warner, and said that if
that gentleman ) speech vas right, then
temperance, industry, frugal living, busi-
ness tact and accumulation of property,
were heresies and devices of thieves and
robbers. Every industrious and temper
ate man in this country made money, but
! it required common sense tact to save
something and be capitalist. The doc
trine of the gentleman (Mr. Warner) was
! the damndest nonsense, Shouts of laugh
ter. The present coinage law, unless
modified, would certainly force on this
country an exclusive silver standard. Re
regarded the dish0uored and Justly imprls-
oned silver dollar Of 4l23 grains as the
most disgraceful form of political money.
He asserted that the free coinage bill
which passed the house in November
1877, was intended by its authors to drive
all gold out of the country, but that the
free coinage bills failed and resumption
came, to the great and manifest advantage
of the whole people. Why should resump.
ton be broken down remorselessiy now
This monstrous proposition was in the in.
terest of builionists and capitalists exclu
sively. He referred to the recent pur
chase of steel rails in England by Wander
bilt, and asserted that under this bill
aDderbilt, assuming that he had given ;
note for S50O,000 in payment for these
rails could purchase silver bullion at a cos
of $3.50, 600, and have it coined into $500,
900, thus saving $4,000 by the operation
The bill will oppress and rob the people il
whose name it was ostentatiously brough
forward. Ii silver dollars were made o
honest weight, he would not say word 0
objection to it. He ridiculed the green
back propositions introduced by Messrs
De La Matyr, Weaver and Wright
Without action on the bill the house ad
Ij0arned.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-05-09
Stimulate the Sluggish Kidneys.

In addition to its tonic and cathartic
properties. Hostetter's Stomach Btters
exercises a beneficial influence upon the
kidneys and bladder, when they are inao.
tive, by stimulating them to renewed ex-
ertion, thus reopening, as it we're, sluice
for the escape Of impurities whose regular
channel of exit is the organs Of urination.
Among these are certain abnormal and in
hammatory elements, productive of ire.
parable injury to the system if not entirely
expelled. The kidneys and bladder them
selves are also benefited by this stimulus
as their inactivity is usually prelimi-
nary to their disease and Gisorgauization.
They also experience, in common with
other portions of the system, the potent in
vigorative effects Of the Bitters, which
furthermore corrects disordered conditions
of the stomach, bowels and liver.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-05-09
ILLINOIS .
The Legislature.

SPRINGFIELD, Nay 8.-In the Senate,
Senator Guy Kendall called up senate bill
No 800, to amend the fees and salaries act
which was prepared by the committee on
that subject, and it was ordered to Sd
reading with slight amendment. Senator
Herdman, rising to question of privilege,
made very complimentary speech about
the services OF Mr.. Paddock, secretary of
the senate. and then presented Mr.. Pad
dock with handsome gold watch. Mr..
Paddock made a neat speech in reply.
The following bills were read the third
time and passed, providing that judges
of the circuit and superior courts, and
states attorney of Cook County shall each
be paid by the said county in addition TO
the salaries which may be paid to them
from the state treasury such further COM
pensation as will make their respective
salaries amount to SUN not exceeding
$4,000 per annum, with an emergency
clause; to amend the registry law so as to
require registration Of electors at all coun-
ty and municipal elections; to amend the
act for the relief of disabled fire aud police
men.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-05-09

PHILADELPHIA, Pa. May 9.-The So:
preme court of Pennsylvania, has just de-
cided a second suit growing out of the sus.
pension of General FL Stuart, by the gen
eral synod of the Reformed Presbyterian
church, for hymn singing and communing
with other Evangelical churches. This
decision sustains Stuart and his friends
at the same time condemning the action ot
the synod, and continues the Rev. DR.
Straett aud the second Reformed Presby
terian congregation ia undisputed posses
litigation for the past 10 years.
The Grst suit, Involving similar issues
was decided in ike mauGer in favor 0
Rev. DR.. McAuley, OF the fifth churcl
in this city some time ago Opinion ii
both cases delivered by Justice Gordon
Chief Justice Shorswood and Justict
Truukey, dissenting.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-05-09
Chapin's Buchupaiba.

The new and remarkably successful
remedy in genital urinary, kidney and
bladder affections, is rapidly superced-
ing all other preparations Its remark
able power and soothing nature, pro-
ducing quick relief and sure cure. It's
economy and simplicity (requiring no
medical fees) and its unvarying GER
tainty,itis attracting attention every
where, and isnOw employed largely by
the profession. In cases of impure or
diseased discharges, "Chapin's Injection
Flcur" is to be used with Buchu-
paiba." and to remove any taint of
mercury or syphilis that may exist in
the system from past illness, use
"Chapin's Constitution Bitter Syrup"
Sold by Druggists at 81. each by ex-
press on receipt of price. Advice free.
Sec circular with bottles. Address E.
| S. Wells, So Barclay street, New York.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1879-05-09
THE TURF.
A New Western Turf circutt

MILWAUKEE, May 8.-The executive
committee OF the Milwaukee Driving Park,
IN conference with Col. King, of Minneap-
Oils, to-day arranged a circuit that will EN-
brace Chicago, St. Louis, Kansas CITY,
Milwaukee and Minneapolis. Chicago S
purse will aggregate $4,000, and those of
other cities $4,000 each. The meeting
will commence here IN August, aud will
follow in order: Minneapolis, Chicago.
Kansas City and St Louis. Minneapolis
has subscribed contingent fund of $lO,.
600 70 insure the success Of the meeting.