, 1879-04-13
SPRIN{1FIE3,te.
An Imprisoned Correspondent Pre-.
sides ct a Court OF His
Own Calling.
The Trial and Sentence os s,Ye,a,:
Well-Known Legislators. ~:


l. the Common Jail of sangatnon County for con>
s. tempt Of said body, does nuw hereby arraie,
the House of Representatives before the har n
public opinion Of the State OF Illinois for tia,
7 on an indictment Of vagrancY, corru1tion. and
general worthlessness. Ia this cause he wol
appcar in the capacity of the Court before hirb
this cause is to be tried, and the people Of the
State shall act as q jury. =
These solemn preliminar!es having been con,,
plcted, the court will now be opened and tha
trial proceed at once.
"WLLLAN q. THOMPSON,
stand M. You are Indicted for absenteeI,n
and general worthlessness. Are Tou guilty q.
not gullty7''
s'Not guilty."
"Where are you fron?" =,
"Cook County, ::
"From what di5trict?'' :"
tFrom the First Senatorial District" :.
sHow 1oug has this House been in session.,
'sIt has been in session nine:y-tiYe days.n
! t'During that time how many rolI-calls haYa
you mlssed?'
~ have missed 80 roll-calls by the Clerk.
minutes"
"During that time what have you been doing
for your constituencys''
|
During the temporary organization Of the Houso
| I kept q grocery in room six of the Leland
Hotel, and tried to get myself elected Speaker
I should not have received vote for that otflvo
had it not been for TIE TRIBUNE correspond
ents, who fixed it up With the Cook Couaty
delegation, so that on the first informal ballot
received eleven rotcs, intended rs merely con-
plimentary, aud to let me down easy. Afte,
my defeat for the Speakership j. I:
| struggled for the "Chairmanship Of
Committee, and by q great deal Of importantly
| and cheek obtained the Craftsmanship Of the
Standing Committee on Railroads, for which
position I was not qualified then reached ont
for the Lieutcnant-C -Colonelcy Of the First Reg-:
ment Of Illinois Guards Of Chicago, in which
contest didn't succeed even in getting my
name mentioned. Then I spcut my time in
riding up and down the Chicago Il Alton Rail-
road, between Chicago and Springfield, on 4
free pass furnished by that corporation, collect
ing INF rents in Chicago and attending to my
personal affairs"
Mr. Thompson, IS that the way in which you
expect to become the next Governor Of Iii.
nois?'
swell, I am attending to that business now."
tsdr. Thomson, you have been convicted by;
tne jury on your Own testimony, which has been :,
full, frank, and conclusive The sentence Of
this Court is, that you return to your beguled
constituency at the close of this session Of the
Legislature and never be seen mere again. You
will be furnished trans soortation by Ar. Mc3lui-
lon, and given ninety days to get out Of this
town. -.- -
The Representative of the stock-yards Dis
trict will please stand forth.
"What is your nan1e!" 3.
tso1oMoS HOPKINS" .>t
swell! you're ugly enough. Have you evor
bad Yonr picture taken!" =:
q session for the last fourteen rears.n =
'sHave you been around to Pittman's?'
tTou bet.o
ssMr hopkins, you will please drop the Stock
and condne your vocabulary to the United States :
language, Will You send this Court your pict~:
ure3'' X :.
.sWith pleasure.'' -: :"
ssTnis Court feels bound to inform you, Mr.: p:
Hopkius, that he IS about to publish book Df
and he desires your picture engraved Oh
the frontispiece, as an ideal conception Of
nightmare. In this case no witnesses vii! ba
called. The prisoner will De convicted on con-,
mon report You are sentenced to be crenated
in the first retort constructed il accordance vita
the provisions Of the bill introduced by you on
that subject il 1t shall become law. Tile mo-
lion for new trial in this case is orcrrulel'4:!.
'Alr. Doorkeeoer, bring into court the body
II
THE HON. PATRICK wHBERFoRcE BARRY. >,
Mr.. Barry, you are charged with having, in 4
;peech delivered in the House Of Represents
ives, said more hard things about Tour COL
eaeues upon this floor than any other mber
Il this House, and with being Socialist. Are
,ou guilty or not gui1tJ:"
mot guilty" =:
"alr. Barry, on what did 7ou base those
hargesa" .-..
- Mt 5,,fr har NH
10 honest man seeking the good Of the people.
you'd press"
Are YOU an honest man, 3lr. Barry?" ~:
I'll came here as au honest man, | have en-
eavored to discharge nv duty as an honest
nan, and, by the help Of God, Intend to leave
ere an honest man.. :*-:
s. arc you member Of that murlcrous Social.
;tic organization Of Chtcago?' -.
's I anu; and was elected to come here on that
''What say the jury-is the prisoner eullty q
OF guiltv?" ~ "
& Guilty.'' -. t..
"Mr. Barry, You are convicted Of being
lembcr OF q maraudlng, fule, political oFganiza-
on With having made statements against this
louise which are true, but which you cannot
rove You are scntenced for life to tile County :.
nil OF Sanga1non County, and will be sent thera
once. III this case no bail will be allowed.";
Slow music, dim lights, and the smell Of SUI
hlr as Mr. Barry retires. 49,:
'sTuE HON. ISAAC L. MORRISON, ~.:~'
,mo into court, You gre charged With -
leaking des;re to be Governor, and, having =
zen sold out by your friends in the contest for -
,e Speakership OF the present House, you
e charged with nursing In your gentle breast
.e burning fires Of revenge, and with cherish
2 bitter malice and hatred for those who as
sted in your defeat. Are you guilty Or not
lilty?" .> :.....
. Not eutltr'' H.. +.
VII. Doorkeepcr, r =
CALL JOIN Il. o3ERLT q
witness. Stand up and be sworn, my son.
,eak 10, and don't be afraid, anu tell The:
ourt and the jury all you know about this
se." t.:".:
" used to be an editor. I am now Kailrcad !:
ii Warehouse Commissioners =
u Do sou know Mr. Morrisou!'' ~.
~ don -" -.
" Did Jon and Mr.. Boeue, also member Of
ur Board. use your influence in the contest;
r the SpeaEership for one Of Mr.. Morrlson5 ::
ponenls!" 80
y We diu.'' :a'
II Was that what made hin, mad, in Jour f.
lnion, and caused him to introduce that Dill
lucing the salary OF the Railroad and ware
use Commissioners from s3,50o to 5, 500 per =.
num?n -. =.
t. That is the general opinion.'' ;t.~:..-'