The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1879-06-14
VARIETY.

Some men cannot stand prosperity. Others
never get q chance 10 try.
ssGeorge has had a great many pull-backs in
life" said the young wife to her lady friend.
And when the friend said, '' Yes, I saw him with
one yesterday" the young wife didn't know
what she meant by it.
EquivOcation is q shadow Of faIsehood, which
grows by what it feeds on until last il is evolved
q full-grOwn lie
The poet says
Equal nature fashioned us
All in one mould;
but alter she has fashioned some men she puts a
trade dollar in their hands and leaves the next
one 10 hunt for his.
Copper money is coined exclusively for religious
purposes It enables a 10 feel that he has
contributed to the spread Of the Gospel without
drawing too largely on his income.
To the drunkard a bottle Of gin is a weapon of
defence; the liquor is dagger and the bottle is
its sheath.
There is this significant difference between the
Communists and clock, and the clock is the
wiser Of the two, that when the Communists
strike they. cease their work, while the clock
works aud strikes at the same time.
Some people act as though they had been ino-
euIatcd With stupidity while Others act as though
they had il in the natural way.
Cetewayo, the Zulu, has ordered a new suit Of
clothes, consisting Of square Of court plaster to
be pasted on the Left shoulder.
Tell as not in mournful numbers that this life
is but dream, when girl that weighs one hun
dred gets outside quart Of cream-and then
wants more.-EZDpG Gazette.
The men who have repented of their past sins
viii have an opportunity to turn over n new leaf
on the first Of January. Nature, however, will
wait until the spring.
In these days OF resumption the Americans are
fast becoming people noted for their charity,
their generosity and their great love OF their spe
Gle.
II one can afford it he should buy the best of
everything. There is nothing better than cast
steel knives and nothing better than CASTLE soap.
youth. while having his hair cut last evening,
asked the barbe- what he thought of his mus
tache- The barber said ' Bring it with you
the next time you come and | wilhgiye you my
.opinion. ."-NelcaTk Gail.
most interesting sight to see is that Of q
young lady, with lips like rubies,'' and with
% teeth Of pcarly whiteness," and with cheeks
that have stolen the " deep carnation of the
deathless rose" with her mouth full Of ginger
bread
When q boy walks with n girl as though he
were afraid some one would see him, the girl is
his sister If he walks so close to her as to near
ly crowd her against the fence, she is the sister Of
some one else.
Kissing by telegraph is reported a harmless yet
thrilling amusement. How would kissing by
telephone be2-&. Adams AdUerIiser We
would telephoneIy We know, but you see we don't
do ik that way.-BOStOH Post.
The wife Of a Boston physician, one day casting
her eyes out Of the window, observed her hus-
band in the funeral procession Of one Of his pa
tients, at which she exclaimed Z" do wish my
husband would keep away from such professions.
IL appears so much like tailor carrying home
his work.
The breakfast calls TO Goldfish balls
And hash that makes the small boy fatter,
And the wild buckW heat leaps in batter.
SPEAK Bridget pancakes, frying frying frying.
The other day the Berkshire Courier, with
well-feigned innocence, inquired, ' How can Eve
persons divide five eggs so that each man will re-
ceiye one, and still one remain in the dish?' AT
ter several hundred people went two-thirds dis
tracted in the mazes OF this proposition, the
- Courier |" meanly says, 80 one takes the dish
with the egg"
al should like to have you raise a club" said
7x9 book canvasser to 4 daughter OF Erin, as he
stood on the front step trying talk her to death
on the subject OF the - Extinction of the Tribes
Of the Seventh Century. - will. said Biddy,
as she reached around behind the door. - but bad
luck to your picture if you're lingering around
here when get il raised He didn't lInger.
Some marriages are Of use in that they produce
a very humble and repentant state Of mind. They
are said however, to have startling resemblance
bold Of the handles. but. alas when you are sOr-
ry that you ever touched them you find that you
can't let 20.
There Is many a man who used 10 sing with
fearful pathOs and an unwarrantable craving for
the delicaeies OF the season, ." Oh that had the
wings Of dove 9" who would be perfectly con-
tent in these hard times with the second joint.
A frugaIi iady up town lately employed q wash
erwoman to come and do her washing. Hours
passed, and the woman grew faint, but saw nc
sign Of lunch. Finally she suggested that shC
could work with more spirit If she had something
90 eat. - You can have lunch by and by re-
pied her employer, - there's no hurry Eating
is only practice, anyway" " But" remon
si14ted the hungry washerwOman, " it is prac
tiu1 That I've indulged in for upward of fifty
years, and am too old to give it up now
Ia night have tickled JEFF. Davis nightly t.
find himself the lion Of the closing hours Of tht
Ntrty-ffth Congress. It was bad enough to hav
Mis- visions OF rule over Southern slave Olgarchl
ruthIessIy destroyed it was bad enough to b,
routed out Of his capital by a NOrthern mudsill
il was bad enough to be captured in petticOats
but it would be infinitely worse to be driven int
hopeless obscurity, and from this Threatened dan
ger he was rescued by the remark OF Judge Hoar
who said be did not propose to vote for the Mex
scan pension bill II JEFF Davis's name would up
,rar mon the roll. IL is plain 'Jeff' will nor b
rcrmt.'fd 10 blesh unseen.