The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1879-08-08

cept about six, an balGoa dozen of thcm's |
hel husBan'-well, shcivAnted law passed |
to make him a~bigger SHY than he IS now,
(though she ought to be satisfied, lau' knows
he's too no-account fur the fooLkiller's useD
hut she wanted; Him to- wash dishes, an
cook, au' mind The children, (thcyve got
the John Rodgers compement,) an peel
pertaters, an dry apples by way fsf recrea-
ton. See Kate Langston, That's right,
Miss Jones, fair play an no favors ! One
ole woman in corner would keep holl,rih'
out to Miss Skinfints to ask the price o
chickens-she used to jew the poor ole
crcetur awful-two young firty gals ,wuz
whisperin' to Miss Saffrons, to bring the
last new fashion fur sacks, an lend them
tie patterps first oncsi an sum several,
both mari 'dlanssinglo, were cryin' out that
law must be past to put down the Inde-
pendent Order of Odd Fellers. Mercy
sez Kate Laugstsn, what's the use that's
what our,sex is doin' every day, by the laws
Of Highmen-we don't 60 in fur sooper-
auities, can put down tho independence
of half dozen right here, an I'll change
one at least from: odd to even, before many
summers are ever, I'll be bound So it
wuz agreed to lot the odd fellcrs alsHe fur
the present, seein' as how in tho course of
natur' they must all at sum time or another
be extarminated. But sez Kate, sez she,
there's another matter nearer home that
must be laid afore this powerful convention,
an stopped Immediately. There is set of
mean, or'nary, low-fung scoundrels, goin'
about the ked'ntry, pryin' into other folks
consarns, and takin' away their census
Goodness knows if they're let run on what
will become of us, fur men haint got tho
sense the law allows 'em now. It's q real, low.
lived persecutin' sezshe, got up on pur-
pose somehow or another to put money in
the pockets Of some poor kin of theirs, that
that they 60 their deths fur, an call 'Uncle
Sam, an ole, mean, stingy, lazy good fur
nothin, I'll be- bound Then they all
agreed to pat stop to this sistem of takin
away what little senses men had, poor inno-
cents-an', Katc-I thought the vixen
would died the deth of tho wicked-sho
LATED, an laffcd, till the tears rolled ovor
her rosy checks, an her great black eyes
sparkled like diamonds. Well, SO they went
on fur plum three hours-at last 'twuz no
titled to tho meetin' that Miss Saffrons
| would read em the speech she had writ to
speak in the convention. They KEEP hol.
! lerin' Order; 'Order,-but it 'peared like
that Order preferred. not to cum-till
Kate Langston, all Of a suddint, sprung up
on cheer, an pullin' off her ridin' cap,
calls out, hats off, gentlemen then strik-
in thunderin' blow on the table with her
whip-'Silcnce all creation an few of
the rest of mankind, not to mention the
wimmeu an children = They wur all as
mute as mice in a mint, an Miss Satfrons
ascendin' the cheer begun-I never should
minded her lopg ,s'rine o 'divks(tyu,6y,
but Two heerd Kate Langston' speak it
right off twenty times senco, an I've cen
most larned it DC heart. Sez Miss SAT-.
| irons, sez shc-I mean read she-sez she,
readin like
'Fellcr. .citizens-Im not 'customed to
public speakin' before sich highfalutin' au.
diences. My idces hcv been so poor of late
that I'D crate notion Of putin 'em out to
grass prevyus to this monunentuous occa-
shun. Yet here stand before youa speckled
| Eermit, wrapt in the risen.sun counterpane
of my popularity, an intendin', Providence
pormittin', and the creek don't rise, to go
1t blind! Iirant man amt goin' to be
able to pick himself up arter the 'oumelatod
talons Of this Convention hes strickin down
on his devoted he'd like vials O. wrath, or a
thousand o brick, (taint no odds which Of
them 6ggerative inundos you take, Teller
sufferers, both's exprcssivc.) Feler-citizens
I'm orc great big dispisc fur the hull maska.
line creation (cept six)--as l remarked on
the foregoin line, feller-sistern, IN agin man
Pm right plum furnenst the hull crew,
from Deacon Snook's cowboy down to Gu.
pid, Venus an Highman (them's ones you
read about it don't make q diff O. bitter.
eEoe their all 'bominable, 'bominabler, BON.
Enthusiastically sic as Munroo Ed.
wards, the Wandering Jew, an Paganini
an fur all the last wuz both a pagan an
a ninny, 'twa'nt SO much worse than the
rest, fur they're all lleathons an silics 10.
gether.'
Here she stopped to get breath, and Kate
Langston struck the table another thunder.
in lick, cryin' out-sHit 'cm again they've
got no trends
Miss Safirons purseeded-'F Feller. soldiers
an martyrs wimmcn has srights, an u.sy're
goin' to hare them rights, in spite of hus.
bans or IIottsntots You've seen Caesar q
crossin' the Rockibun--you've seen Bony.
partc crossin' the river Alps-you've seen