Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-02-02
Wit and HumOr.

Wit and Humor.
Whoever saw cat nip teae
Whoever heerd oysters whoop?
MISUNDERSTANDING in slumber.
The feathered tribes-The Indians.
Bar silver-"S sample room" change.
Lorne is only fla: Marquis after all.
The miners cry-Give us coal'd wealth
| err.
| Satisfied at last-A contented shoemak-
How to rear a mple-Tickle his hind
legs.
Black lead-The followers of negro
guide.
Isn't a lawyers personal attendant a
legaltender?
Neat's-foot soil-Tne mark left by a
| natty little boot.
The man who was s'close at hand" was
| nigh witness.
A philosopher fell sick. and was ordered
to drink sage tea.
If you would have your clothes we'll
washed, wash them in we'll water.
A mans food is bolted when his wife
locks the cupboard door against him.
The viceroy of India should remem-
Der the best laid plans Afghan agley.
Fat is not conducive to long life. A
fat hog rarely lives Though the winter.
The violinist who ''carries the house
by Storm" used ra1n-bow afterwards.
"Good chants for you, sonny said
| the man when he gave the boy hymn
book.
Did you ever hear hogshead speak?
If so, what was it the hogshead?- Tran
script.
"These are all ewes" remarked the
crockery dealer as he received crate of
| pitchers.
There was, no doubt, considerable
| mourning when the sunburst, but where
did the daylight?
An old tin kettle may never point a
moral, but it is pretty sure, sooner or
later, to adorn tale.'
If you want to know what. new books
| are out just 60 to circulating library
| and try to borrow them.
A young man calls his girl, who has
promised to marry him, "Silence," be-
cause she gives consent.
On account of the decided manner of
his spouse, Smythe says his children are
covered by ma-shall law.
He couldn't raise the mortgage on his
| building-lot; and so, poor man, without
becoming blind, he lost his site.
With powder on her face and bullet
buttons on her gown, the girl of the
period is dangerous character.
If women are really angels, why don't
they fly over a fence instead a making
such a fearful awkward job of climbing?
The price of pork has so seriously de-
clined that, according to an Iowa paper,
no respectable pig can afford to take on
fat.
In Danbury clothing store is q card
announcing. Perfectly fitting gar
ments; every article sets as good as a
hen"
Delays are dangerous in verything, ex-
cept marriage; the longer you delay that
eAAS
II am not particular" he remarked
when the tailor refused to trust him."
am not particular, but I can't be suited
here"
"Have you cologne?' she asked. "No
ma'am," replied the druggist; II have
no scents at all.' She said he didn't
look as though be had.
TTlCon cSvc ,cyr bo oo,
how these cyphers came to be found on
him. He must have caught them while
riding in the street cars.
A tramp, who received blow from an
Amazonian widow, declared that, until
then, he had never realized the full sig
nificance Of the widows smite.
"Be polite, sonny" said the bcarder to
an impertinent youngster, "be polite, and,
when she offers you cup of tea, don't
you take cup and sauce err
Hogs are coming down. We saw two
occupying four seats each, coming down
on the Hamilton and Dayton road, the
other day, in a car otherwise crowded.
Accident insurance com panjes haveput
kings and emperors down in the fourth
class OF risks, along with engineers,
brakemen, fIemen, and book agents.
He said he rather guessed he knew how
to sail boat; but the gentle zephyrs that
kiss the wavelets over his watery grave
mournfully whisper. "He lufed not wise
ly."
A Kentuckey editor.sayo neighbor of
his is SO lazy that when he works in the
garden he moves about so slowly that the
shade Of his broad brimmed hat kills the
plants.
Wo7lldn't you rather lose seven dollars
and half than to 60 up stairs in the
dark and find the top stair one lower than
you thought it was?-Lyzas Semi Weekly
Reporter.
A Michigan farmer writes to the facul-
ty Of Yale: "What are your terms for a
year? And does it cost anything extra it
my son wants to learn to read and write
as we'll as row boat?"
Woman's dress may be superior to
mans, but we don't want no garments
around us that you have to stand up in
to get your hand in the pocket,-and then
not find what you are looking for.
To the intense disgust of the lady Ct
the house, it is noticeable fact that
broken cups and saucers are always given
the place of honor on the tea-table--
especially if there be company present.
Father" said Charley spilkins, 'sMrs.
Jones has two pair of hands, hasn't shea"
How do you figure that out, Charles?"
asked Leander. "Why, didn't you say
the other day that she was fourEanded'?"
When man going home to dinner,