The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1879-07-19
FUNNYGRAPBS.

call it, spring lamb.
THEY say the smell around some og
the markets is perfectly otfal.
The first thing man takes to in his,
life is his milk the last his bier.
THE hunted doe is swift when running
for deer life.-Ne1g Orleans Picay1ne.
HANGING is capital punishment-es-
pecially when you're hanging on some
good looking girls arm.
'IN the bright complexion of youth
we have no such word as pale" and she
reached for the rouge box with the clntch
of an angel.--Ne,0 Haven Register.
GRANDMOTHER: "Now, Minnie
what is the plural of penny? Minnie
d" Plural of penny, grandma? Why,
twopence, of course.-FStn.
WHEN New Jersey mosquito enters
mans sleeping room MS first impress
sion is that there is brass band under
his window, and that he is called on for
speech.
HUSBAND: "Why is it that you do
not put in your book of expenses what
YOU give to the poor?" The wife: " Be-
cause l give with the left hand and
write with the right"
THE man who could net find words
enough to express his gratitude will be
pleased to hear that the new edition OF
Websters Dictionary, just published,
contains five thousand new words.
Chow do you like my new haiti" said
Augustus to his fancee. ooh, that
'snobbyl" exclaimed she. And now
Augustus wants to know where that
apostrophe belongs, and what she really
meant.-America1t Punch.
THIS cold wet June is bad for the
crops. We heard an agriculturist at
country railway station this week swear
ing fearfully about his corn. The bag
gage man had just dropped Saratoga
trunk on it.
The Burlington HooOkeye says: There
is man on West Hill who is so'good'he
won't permit any cooking in his house
on Sunday. He just takes his family
and goes out to the Sunday picnics, and
they nibble their sustenance at the lag
at the lunch counter, that is.
STANDING before fruit stand SAP
Francisco gamin said: Hello! old fell
low, bow much for your oranges?'
Twenty cents a dozen, sonny" do
you throw the thirteenth into the bar
gainT eyes, my lad" Well, give
me the thirteenth to-day and | will buy
the dozen of you tomorrow. San
Francisco Golden Era.
SYMPATHY.-Little Girl" Mamma,
dear, L do so pity you Mamma
"Why, dear?" Little Girl" Because
nurse says you have to go out and eat
another great big dinner, after all the
mutton chops and tapioca pudding we
had in the middle of the day; and nurse
says you must pretend to like it, or they
would be very, very Cross"
"SAMBo, Parson Johnsing says dere's
muffin horned 'ceptin' for a good pu'-
pose; now how kim dat var tatar bug in
the worr p 'G'long, Glenn, how yo'
specs l knows? | amt 'quainted wild
de family!' "Jesso. Sambo, but den
you IN unquainted wild de Lor', too an
yet you's mighty liberal OBJ info nation
to i'm in yo' pra'rs. > Yonkers Gazette.
RUSTIC critic Ito artist painting out
OF doors y" Now that's real kinder
material, amt it? But what makes We
waste yer time on them darned old
ellum trees? Ye'd ought to go right up
back here onter SINNERS hill, where ye
could see something kinder interestin'-
the town hall, an the Baptis' meetin'
house, an the new brick high skule."-
Ha' GARD Lampoon.
The superintendent of one of our
cemeteries was cal ed upon not long since
by man who said he wanted to select
lot in which to bury his wife who had
died the day before. The official started
out with him to walk through the
grounds and on the way fell into CONVEX
sation concerning the deceased "Was
her death student" he asked. Well,
yes, rather, answered the bereaved hus-
band; "that is, at the last. She was
aIling like for good while, but the last
week she went off hand or fist"
THERE is lots of fun to be had at lit
tie private picnics, when the party goes
up stream in large boat to pleasant
woodland. All you have to do is to lug
three baskets of provisions and box OF
croquet to the boat, and then help row it
and get Jour blisters on each hand, and
then climb tree covered with briers to
adjust swing, and work yourself almost
to death swinging the girl who never
seems to get enough Of it, and then re-
verse the order of things until you get
home. There is loads of fun in it.
Fun? Why it is just reeking with it.
". Y. Sunday Star.
LITTLE Harry S., of five summers,
who had been exalted from girls to boys
hablhments, recently appeared at school
arrayed in the former, when his teacher
kindly remarked: Children, / hope
mat none of you will tease Harry, nor
speak of his dress, as his mother has sent
MN IN to punish him for being naughty,
ana he feels mortified and s RYE There
upon Master Harry quickly mounted
ms seat, and repudiating his teachers
6lnd protection, extended his clenched
list and harangued his Glass thus: 'If
any girl says anything about it, I'll say
nothing; but if any boy does, PHI knock
MS head off," and the fire of his eve be-
spoke his self-reliance. Boston Tran
script.
ABOUT 10 o'clock in the morning, re-
Gently, two men met on Sixth street and
began threatening and calling each other
names. One finally called the other a
ilar, and the two were about to graphic,
t "nen woman opened the door and said
Gentlemen, are you about to fight?"
we areF they answered together.
linen have the kindness to wait mo-
Iment, she continued. my poor hus-
nand has been sick for weeks, and is now
Just able to sit up. He is very down
hearted this morning, and if you'll only
walt TILL L can draw him up to the win