New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1879-11-05
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
TIE song Of the top Hum again.
MORE people die Of hate than from

love. ga
BIa1NNERs at skating must learn to
spell "pupils'' backward.
A GOODNESS often springs up be-
tween the wholesale and retail ice
dealer.
The DETROIT Free Press is sure that
the $ ability of statesman does not
depend upon the size Of his jaw"
The world is made up of two kinds
Of people: Those who work, and those
who spend all their time in getting
ready to work.
WHEN q young man goes to have
his mustache colored it Is very humili.
ating to have the barber ask if he
brought it with him.
The Paris clock faces are illumina-
ted by electricity. In this country hui
man faces are frequently illuminated
in the same way-by Jersey lightning.
Hank Eye.
The London Spectator believes that
. strong minded woman can bear any.
thing better than sharp criticism, moro
especially II the criticism is favored
with touch Of humorous scorn.
CIRCUMSTANCES alter cases. The man
who Is on the train thinks it tarries too
long at way stations; not 30 the ono
who is half . block away and coming
rapidly toward it when the whistle
toots.-RIck.
SIR JOHN LUBBOCK, the naturalist,
has been testing the affection of ants
for one another. His conclusion, after
repeated experiments, is that ''in these
curious insects hatred Is q stronger
passion than Affection
Boy" What are you crying for,
Sallyr' Girl-"'Cos I got the tooth
ache" Boy-"You 20 round to my
grandmother; she 'ull show yer what
to do; she knows how to take hers
out and put 'em back whenever she
wants."
AN absent-minded man in Monroe,
Conn.,, went to church the other morn
ing with his overcoat, a. he supposed,
on his arm; but the laughing Of tho
people in church directed his attention
to the fact that he had taken his every
day pantaloons, and that the suspend.
ers attached to them were dangling
about his legs.
HALF the time when We have had 4
peculiarly bright thought, We have
found. after putting it in elegant Ian.
guage, that some Shakespeare, or
Longfellow, or Carlysle, has antici-
paled US, and not infrequently used
our very words. If those fellows had
uovnv bnnn Il hoA hnn,, .>o:11:o~. =. ~,,.
pocket. Transcript. t
The Tryon Valley, in North Carroll
ma, is natural dollhouse. 1t is slice
of Florida, less than mile long and
about half q mile wide, uncovered at
the base OF the Blue Ridge, retaining
its southern temperature all winter.
while the surrounding mountains and
valleys are bleak and bare. The soil
and vegetation are the same as those
of the adjacent mountain region, but
tho temperature 10 higher. Early in
April. when in the region roundabout
the forests are bare, this lovely little
belt is clothed in the verdure Of sum-
mer. The mountains inclose it on ev-
cry side save the south, and protect
it against winds and cold currents of
air.
The Salt Lake Tribune says that the
scene of the Mountain Meadow massa-
ere is now the very picture of DESC
]ation. Before the Mormons murdered
Ill innocent men, women and children
there, in 1857, the meadows were
known far and wide as q paradise in
the desert, with an abundance Of grass,
crystal streams and ever-h0wing
springs. To-day, the grass is gone, the
water-courses dried up, and nothing but
dreary waste marks the once beauti-
full spot. It is said that the earth is
also sinking, and the bones which were
collected after the massacre, though
thrice buried, continue to reappear,
while settlers in the vicinity shun the
spot as haunted.
ONE time was in Mister Briiy's shop
and he had cut orr pigs he'd and set
it on the top of barl, and ole CATER
Peters he cum in and seen it, and he
sed, ole CATER did: zass Mister Brilv,
yure pig is gittin out" Mister Brily
he luked, and then he sed: "Thats
50, CATER, you jest take that stick and
rap him onto the nose fore he can draw
it in" So CATER he took up the stick
and snook up reel sli. and fetched the
pigs he'd reglxr nose wipe, hard as
ever he GUIDE with the stick, and noked
tho pigs he'd off the bari, and you never
seen sech stonish old man. But
Mister Brily he pretended like he
wasent . lo0kin, and ole CATER he sed:
/" Mister Brily, you must Reuse me, but
wen l struck at that pig it lodged and
cut its he'd off agin the edie of the
barl. little Johnny, IN San francisco
Argoaa4t.
ARANNrA was understood to be .
delicate eater. Pa" she would say,
:" what Is the use In my going into tho
She had been heard to
murmur in her choicest grammar,
:. Ono wing Of bird is all I can posi-
bly, eat. Charles believed her to be
ethereal. The expense for food after
they should be wed, he felt, would be
uncomfortable. II would be embar-
RAISING, even. to meet the butcher.
Would he send his little orderp He
would dine in the city, but Araminta,
she might not get even wing. They
we're sitting in the parlor together.
The door was ajar. It was now past
her regular dinner hour. The folks
we're away. He had intended going
IN hour before, but somehow he lin
yered. A step on the stair without and
; query: Will yer have your corned
oeef and cabbage now, or wait till yer
'eller's gomez Boston advertiser.
INCREDIBLE as it seems. not half the
avern keepers, hostlers or teamsters
NOW how to tie : horse, either putting
ONE clumsy knot that % troublesome
Q undo OF making hitch that u in-
ecure. The proper way, after passing
he tether round the thing to Be e
aehed to, 10 TO make 8 hall hitch, pass
ng the end Of the strap through tho
o0p. Il the horse, nibbling, pulls II,
% merely ties the knot tighter. And
Q unhitch, II = only necessary TO 10
- n Al. z