Connecticut western news., 1879-02-12
WIT AND WISDOM.

A life preserver-Bread.
 A matter of cores apple sauce.
 A matter of coerce-compulsion.
 A matter of coarse-cheap clothing.
 When man hasn't red he gets blue. And things look black.
 The duty on sugar is to use about two Jumps to every cup of coffee.-Neso HaUen Register.
 A man who attempted to pass coun- terfeit money said he did so to encour- age home manufactures.
 -" Though he sleigh me yet will trust him." is now the humble aspira- tion of tbe trustful maiden.
 Why does the new moon remind one of 8 giddy girl?' Because she is too young to show much reflection.
 A woman too often reasons from her heart hence two-thirds of her mistakes and her troubles. -Bulwer Lytton.
 Great men owe their fame to the lit tleness of the rest of the world. Fame is only result of comparison, after all.
 When the million applaud you, se- riously ask yourself what harm you have done; when they eensure you, what good.
 The most bashful girl we ever heard of was the young lady who blushed when she was asked if she had not been court ing sleep.
 Nothing is so wholesome, nothing does so much for peoples looks, asa lit- tie interchange of the small coin of be- nevoIence.
 You may mend rent in damaged reputation SO that it may not show, but you can never make the reputation quite whole again.
 There are men out West, with some of the feathers stlll sticking to them, who cannot bear any allusion to the evenings tar.
 Beware of preiudices they are like rats, and mems minds are like traps. Prejudices creep in easily, but it is doubtful if they ever get out.
 There is many man who prays fer vently not to be led into temptation, and then goes into it of his own accord, ex- pecting the Lord to get him out. On the water an oarsman rowed,
 A horseman rode on tho land. The hors cman rode on very good road,
 But the oarsman rowed hand over hand. | Boston Adcertiser.
 Mere immensity of size always as- tounds but our wonder at the vast re- suits accomplished by comparatively slight means remains the longest with us.
 When rich miser tells you that he can't give you any money, but that he will carry you in his heart, it is safe to conclude that you will soon be in very tight place.
 Nobody seems to know what becomes of the bumble-bees in winter, but they are on deck and ready to be sat down on as soon as the first barefooted boy ap- pears. Free Press.
 A boy of twelve, dining at his un- cle's, made such good dinner that his aunty observed, "Johnny, you appear to eat we'll" Yes, aunty," replied the urchin, "I've been practising eatlng all my life."
 Not every judge confesses it, but Q great many of them really do what the Dutch justice did when he said :-"I shall dake dree days to consider de points of dis case, but shall eventually decide for de plaintiff. {"
 The following is posted in front of grocery store near Harvard Square :- Wooden pails, six cents each. No. tice-We did not steal these pails, but we think the man we bought them of did.-Bos'o on AdUertiser.
 It is all very we'll to talk about economy, but the difficulty is to get any, thing to economize. The little baby who puts his toes in his mouth is almost the only person who in these times man. ages to make both ends meet.
 -" Gan a man belong to brass band and be Christian ?" asks an exchange. We see no impediment in the way. But if he is given to practising at home, it is an utter impossibility for the man living next door to be Christian.
 "My dearest Maria," wrote re- cently married husband to his wife. She wrote back "Dearest, let me correct either your grammar or your morals. You address me, My dearest Maria. , Am I to suppose you have other dear Marias ?"
 Little four-year-old Mary com piained to mamma that her button shoes were hurting." "Why, Mary, you've put them on the wrong foot" Puzzled and ready to cry, she made answer. "Wnat'n I do, mamma? They's all the feet I've got l" ) -Quoth blushing Kate, while popping corn, Unto her lover, with sigh, "I would you were kernel born; Now can you tell the reason why ?" "For thy sweet cornstalk I've an ear" With husky voice the youth replied But I'm too green to pop. fear,
 saii saucy Kate, "Yeq naeyer tFied,