The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-03-05
John Phoenix and Jeff Davis,

The following from the indianapolis
journal is very appropriate at the
present time, seeing the terrible fuss
that the publication of the "Old Coun.
cil'' has caused: - @#=#
"When Franklin Pierce was presi.
dent, Jen DAVIS, tnen secretary Of
war, issued general invitation to Of
ticers of the army who were skllful
d1aughtsman, to send in suggestions
for the new uniform which it had
been decided to adopt. One such in.
vitation was sent to each officer.
Lieutenant Derby was very ready
with his pen, a really ingenious artist.
In reply he sent to the war depart
nient design for a new uniforn--or
rather a peculiar addition to the old
uniform--the amendment consisting
merely of a ring attached to the seat
ofthe trousers of each private soldier.
Each officer was to carry, instead Of a
sword, long pole, with a hook il the
end like a shepherds crook. The,
pole and the ring enabled officers to-
keep privates from running away in
battle. Fugitives could easily be
-s- s. .---
caught by it and brought back stra e.
glers could also be kept in line, More
over, the rings would be very useful
in the cavalry, to prevent them from
falling off; and in the artillery service
the rings were to be used for draught
purposes in the absence of mules.
These specifications were accom-
panied by the most grotesque pictures,
representing officers T hauling back
cowardJy recruits by the serviceable
ring, cavalry securely fastened to the
top OF their steeds by the same device,
and artillerymen harnessed to the can
non, drawing them through narrow
detiles, or up an activity inaccessible
to mules, by cables attached to the
posterior staples. !. 4- Z. ....5- <
On another sheet of bristol board
was an illustration, in gaudy colors. of
"Derby's Rotary Mule Howitzer,"
accompanied by. the following descrip-
ton: ~ s.-., L.. ..... -. -. :.
Upon the back Of young and vigil.
ant mule strap mountain howitzer,
the muzzle pointing towards the tail.
a similar piece of ordnance is fasten-
ed with iron bands under the animal s.
abslo nlerss, the l.uzzIe aimed between
lis forelegs to the front. There are.
four gunners-tw to each piece-and
a 'persuader. as he is called, whose
business it is to persuade the mule to
stand firm and not retreat, by stui1ing
him with oats, after each discharge.
with tin sausage stutfel. When In
dlans, or other legitimate game, ap-
pear in view, the mule is, oy crank
movement On the tail. limbered to the
front. 1t don't make any difference
which way the mule faces (and here
is where my patent comes in) one gun
is always pointing towards the front.
At the command '':.Firer''' the. top
howitzer is discharged, The recoil
throws the mule on his back, bringing
the second gun into position This is
discharged, which suddenly throws
the mule on his feet again, when the
gunners swab out the mules throat
with hay, and reload" - ......
The accompanying illustrations (in
red. brown, blue aud gold, and still
on file in the war Department. rep re-
scented the rotary mule in seven differ
ent attitudes, looking contented and
happy all the time. -
This was felt to be outrageous au.
dacity on the part Of a subaltren.
The clerks in the war department
laughed at the funny letter immod.
erately, but their superiors looked
serious. Jefferson DAVIS. the head of
the department, was terribly indig.
nant, and he resolved to defend his
wounded dignity. Charges and speci-
tications were drawn up against Lieu
tenant Derby, and the officers were
actually named for his court martial,
when William R. Marcy, secretary of
state. man Of more sense and self
poise, said to the irate secratary:
snow see here, General Davis,
don't do it. This Derby has undoubt-
edly a superfuous development of
humor, but he is shrewd and ingeni-
Gus, and really fine draughtsman.
He has valuable qualities, You can
organize a court that will convict
him, but you will be the butt Of ridi-
Guile on account of it all your life.
Better file the suggestions of the
crook and ring and the lively rotary
mule, and say nothing " 4,s@ 20"
And he did. ....,.. '....... .a"
John G. Whelon, of Bluehill, Sher-
hurne county, lost his house and por-
<;a,, &c oootorfs bx, f;uo about t,,o