St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-06-13
SQuibs.

"There's music in the heir" says
Jones. Jones has brand new baby at
his house.
Puck says that man learning to play
the cOrnet interests all his neighbors-
in horn.
And now doth the festive hen revel
in the dust, and rake the begonias and
hyacinths out of the ground. Somehow
or other hen will always go for the
most valuable plants.
He looked up very humbly, and said
he was sorry to be found in such place
but he could assure the court that he
was never in the prisoners box before.
"Never ?" asked the court, with some
severity. 'LOoka-here, judge" said
the culprit, "name the fine, but for
heavens sake don't spring that pima
fore gag on a fellow."-[Turners Falls
Reporter.
What glorious fun the small boy has
about these times, as he splashes and
dives about in the pond. The only
drawback seems to be that a good deal
of time has to be wasted in stirring up
his dripping hair with a little stick to
dry, lest it should give him away to the
old lady when he sneaks into the back
door to steal a doughnut.-[ New Haven
Register.
A writer on household adOrnment
says: "One can easily transform long
and uninteresting parlor into a series
of small artistic rooms, full of senti-
ment. Gather there easy chairs, foot
stools, lounges strewn with pillows,
work stands, writing tables, jardinieres,
bits of buhl furniture, screens, ETC."
Oh, yes; these trif1es cost comparatively
nothing. And you might also bring up
the wood-horse and saw, and the wash
ing machine, and fill in with two or
three rosewood pianos, and strew few
coal sieyes over the floor, and hang the
wash boiler and several iron pots on
the walls-and you will be surprised at
the effect. [Norristown Herald.
VERY DIRTY.-Ane extraordinary army
joke has found its way into the columns
of the Court Journal. The dirtiness of
the Afghan is proverbial, and it is said
that upon one occasion General Roberts
captured Mongul, who was so prefer
naturally dirty that it was thought nec-
essary, for the safety of the whole camp
that he should be washed. Two genu-
inc Tommy Atkinses were told off for
this purpose. They stripped him, and
scrubbed him with formidable brushes
and large quantity of black soap for
two hours, at the end of which they
threw down their brushes in disgust,
and went to their colonel. 'EWhat is it.
men 7" "Well, sir, we've washed that
Afghan for two hours, but it wasn't no
good. After scrubbing him sir, till our
arms were like to break, blest if we
didn't come upon another suit of
clOthes.n
The Burlington Hawkeye has over
heard poor but earnest Iowa tramp
say: "Build low roosts and put out the
moon, and I'll never beg for another
morsel of food as long as l live.n
CiIcumstantial evidence: .sWbo,s
that frizzly, black haired woman talk
ing to my husband on the ottoman ?p
''She's Mrs. Cadogan Smythe." ssIn-
deed She's good at fattering people, 1
should say; and knows how to lay it
on pretty thick" "Ah you infer that,
no doubt, from her attitude and express
sion !" "Oh, dear, no! From my hus
bands s"-[Punch. -
Ice cream and strawberry short-cake
now rally to the bracing up of the
church funds, supplementing the win
ters work OF the oyster, and the dea-
cons daughter looks little more at
tractive handling about a nice plate of
luscious ripe strawberries that rival the
color In her own cheeks, than she ever
did trying to- balance hot bowl of
oysters without spilling them into her
particulars" lap. Oysters are incom-
patible with grace; but the straw berry
-ah! for what more graceful dish does
lovely woman get so cents ''for the
cause" SO readily Y-[New Haven Reg