The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1879-07-06

you remember the first time you asked r ner,
bled ali over like the narrative Of stump-ia
dog and experienced the sensation OF having
swallowed your Adams apple, what DID s il
do2 Why, she took your arm q as cooliy as sho
would eat a pickle-l5elent1flc american.
There is no place Ike gniea ag g1 tbisv
Times. That To 80, and deueed lucky InlitA
1t Is, too-tH Herald and Presbyter.
In selecting barber remember that I, 1ull-
ness under the eyes denotes languaget-tPop-
ular Science Monthly.
The only reason why Murat Ha us ~
wouldn't make good Secretary OF War ,I y
because he believes soldiers rattOns snOnld
include apple dumpings with champagne
gravy Cincinnati Commercial
ANSWER 70 CORRESPONDENTS.
Il. r. W., Charlton, Iowa You complain
because your friend took your autograph
album and kept 1t sixteen weeks. DO not
Judge him harsly. He may dove you YET.
Perhaps he just pulled the stufflng out Of your
album, and is using the backs g for Glga ~
him about it. In the meanwhile. cut this OUT
and paste this in your hat, 1T may save your
life.
D.A r., Manchester Ohio. "How should
you go about 1t to become funny nanf
Bless your soul, we don't know anything
pc11oANf
to Peter Cooper.
J.LX., fremont, Ill. isn't 1t true that
Rev. Joseph Cook thinks great deal more
OF himself than any one else does T. Well, We
cant say positively, but we should think u
highly probable. Can you send us, by return
mail, the name and address Of some man
that doesn't.
T. Il. g., Alton, Ill. You say the young lady
declined your prOffer OF marriage On thesimple
ground that she feared your income was not
rs large as your cheek Very well, then,
ask her, very sarcastically, II she took you
for q miilionaire2 You must use your wit on
such trying occasions. Such q reply would
have made her feel awfully small Oshkosh
Christian Advocate. "
perance jubilee that will begin on the fifth Of
July and last fortysfive days. Fifty eminent
orators will talk, and the biggest crowd Of
people that ever got together will try and
keep the provisions from spelling. 1t fs q
splendid project, but we are afraid that while
ali the temperance people In the country are
at La Porte, the rest OF the United States,
left without any restraint or sober example,
will just get up and-tra Ia WHO'D hoo Go
on with the music!- Temperance journal.
The New York Sunday papers call the
pupils at the female. swimming academy IN
Central Park, aNaiads." Its all well enough,
we suppose but isn't 1t rather straining
mans idea of the daughter Of Ieus, the COM.
panions Of Aphroditp, Poseidon and Perse-
phone, to accept and believe In Naiad with
red hair, a wart on her nose, bow legs and
bathing suit that makes her look like an AMI
mated rag bag. Naiads Tou might as well
call the thin-legged young men who OCCASION
ally haunt the gyn1naslums. deml-gods.--
Herald and Presbyter.
There is d society In New York called the
Rochester MicroscUpical Society. We sup
pose Mr.. Tilden Is full member, and has
taken the infnitesimal degree. II there Is
anything In the United States any micros-
copcaler than Sammy Tilden, 1t must be at
the bottom OF the atomic theory.--lN. Y. Sun.
1t was cruel and brutal In Nero to dress the
them on fire, but he added unspeakable in
finite cruelty TO the torture when he stepped
up and asked martyr II this Was warm
enough for him 2 Whenever 9 Christian
sion In the nineteenth century, let him think
Of this, and bride hlsdips.-fN.Y. Observer. !.
swinburne sings, II hid my head ID a nest
OF roses" Did you, AIgernon, did you? That
was wise In you to hide 1t among the roses.
Now If you had covered 1t up In 9 nest Of cab
you could not have told, for the life Of you,
which head was yours. Stick to the roses.
old boy, every tlme.--lzions Herald.
Prof. Holden says that great many writ
ers use vocabulary OF 10000 words, and the
average among good writer's will fall very
when a man tries to raise a window in
hurry and catches his thumb between the
sash and the fly screen, he doesn't use more
than half dozen words, but they are worth
10000 on ordinary occasions.-IN. 7. OBJ
server.
The big Berkshire hog took the chair and
when the barn yard was quiet he asked: rs
there any business OF importance before this
souseg" And then the long, lean, sandy pig,
nearest the, gate. replied that there was
nothing but routine business, he believed
Wherenpon the convention adjourned and
went around the farm trying to get at the
bottom OF things.-[Cincinnati Commercial.
George Washington never made but one pun
In his life And forgot that, before he could
tell 1t. This Is what endears bis memory to
the American people, Congressional Record.
There Is a young man on South Hill who
only jewelry he wears is the gold filling In
one OF his back teeth Hawkeye.
"What," exclaims the Meriden Recorder,
'teuuaIs the laugh Of woman Well, rather
than have the equation fail let x equal the
laugh OF woman.-f The Nation.
The latest patent medicine man has laid on
our table next years almanac. This IS very
thrilling publication. the chapters on cramp,
collie and yellow iaundice are especially pa
thetic. The illustrations are in a high style
Of art. The cut OF a man In the frontfspiece Is
an allegory representing the Holsters, fish,
bulls rams, etc. that q man saw after drink
ing Peoria crooked whisky two or three days
when he went to Chicago to buy goods
Temperance journal.
Down in Georgia. says the C0urier-Jour1,al,
they are in favor Of removing the tax on
quinine and putting 1t on dogs Changing
the duty on bark as it were.-[New York
Commercial Advertiser.
Experience of Years.