Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1879-05-21
lIunnor.

Why can you expect a fisher
man % be generous? Because his bust
ness makes him sell fish.
A famous lrishman thus wrote to a
friend: "At this moment | am writing
with a sword in one hand, and a pistol
in the other"
sob, see that my grave is keptgreen,
darling" Sac did. She bought seven
pounds of Paris green, and planted it
three inches thick.
A woman can't put on any side-saddle
style when she goes IN a-swimming. She
has either got a kick out like a man or
get drowned.
a small boy in the parlor where q
dry goods clerk is sparkling the boys big
sister, will make the course OF true
love rougher than riding III IA lumber
wagon.
well" remarked a bar-room philoS-
opher during the progress OF Il scorch-
ing sun spot, when | can't get cool any
other way, | go home and have a breeze
with my wife"
Why, hellol Here's our good old
friend Stanley Matthews IN the "Stal-
wart' camp, Why, Stan, old fellow,
how are you? Shake.-Burdagtoa Hduk.
eye.
Some II overheard David Davis
pray the other night. The burden of
the prayer was: "Oh, Lord, derrick
me back ON the ence."-Bur6agion
Hawkeye.
Good morning, Mr.. Brown, you're
first at hast; YOU used to be behind be-
fore, bat notice you have been getting
early of late
An Albany woman woke her hus-
band during II storm the other night,
and said; u do wish you would stop
snoring, for | want to hear it thunder
The mar who wrote that "nothing
vas impossible never tried to find the
pocket in his wife's dress when it was
hanging up in a clothes-press.
"Why, Willie" sid his mother.
you can't possibly eat another plate of
pudding, can your "Ohl yes, | can,
Ma. One more plate will Just fiji the
Bill.
well, miss" said Il knight ct the
birch rod, "can you decline II kiss p
=" Yes, sir" said the girl dropping u per
picked courtesy, 81 can; but | hate to
most %ulaguily."
An exchange strikes the nail fairly on
the head; Never 60 where you are
not wanted! If a man wants you to
come to his place of business he will
invite you through an advertisement.
Ii is wrong to intrude on privacy"
Adam never smoked. Eve said she
spoiled by the nasty old smoke, and he
didn't dare to 60 IN the wood-shed for
lear he'd set something aiire.
A gentleman noticing that his wife's
bonnets grew smaller and smaller, and
the bills larger and larger, calmly SAID,
" | suppose this thing will go on until
the mlIllner will send nothing but the
bill.'
Miss Sarah l.. Stocking is lecturing
III indianapolis. under the auspices OF
the ladies' of Plymouth Church, Brook
lyn. The real nice young people of
Indianapolis speak of going to hear
Miss HoSe.-Dedcon Richard Smith.
"Ssmbo, what's yer up to nova
days?' "Ohl Use Il carpenter and
%jiner." "Ho! | guess yer is is. What
department does yer perform, Sambo?"
What departmental does de circu.
lar work" What's dat? !" "Why, /
turns de grindstone ~ inghamton Re
publican.
The following e~fiusion is as accurate
in fact as 1t is IN rhyme:
The mao who knows himself is true,
Who best knows what he ought TO do,
Who gets away with life's best prizes,
Is simply he who advtrtises.
Every now and then some chap
writes to a newspaper for a recelre TO
prevent hair from coming out. If men
would 90 home from the lodge before
midnight, with their legs sober, their
hair wouldn't come out so rapidly. We
always 60 home early and we have
more hair now than the day we were
born.
A gentleman, being threatened with
an infectious fever, sad 70 his little son,
who in an aiIectionate mood wished to
embrace him, You mustn't hug me-;
you'll catch the fever" Willie, stand.
ing back, looked in amazement upon
his papa, who, by the way, is q pattern
Of proprlety, and quickly asked, "Why,
papa, who did you hng?'
One day Dir. Whately Ms walking
with a young officer of artillery who was
allied to him in blood, when the latter
~propounded the following riddle: what
is the difference between a donkey and
an archbishop" Whately gave it no,
and received the following reply; THE