The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1879-03-20
From, re College Bel

DON'T TAKE WITH TIE GIRLS
EDITORS believing ,nat you
know ell about women aud that you
are fully acquainted with all the arts
and graces by which we men car
gain the favor and smiles of youl
fair sislerhood, and thereby get un
to ourselves better-halves, | am en-
couraged to appeal to you in al
hour Of deep despair for kindly al
vice.
am in a most deplorable condi'
ton aud hope that you will not-as
others of your sex have done make
fun of my natural deficiencies, but
will help and advise me in this my
time of trouble,
| am a young man whom a dear
old mother is very anxious to see
settled 10 life with some good little
woman to take care of me--her
darling boy" And, as | have al
ways tried to be a dutiful, obedient
son, feel that ! must do all can
to please her dear heart | have
done my very best, but, alas | am
Just where started. am not hard
to please, in fact almost any one of
the dear girls would please me. So
far as taking care of me is concern
ed, any one could do that, for can
almost take care of myself, and it
would be a poor woman indeed who
couldn't do the rest. Notwithstand
ing this, | can't prevail upon any
one of Ewes fair daughters to be
pleased with me. They will not
even let me get so far as the moon
shine talk | have tried all the
srts | know of, have heard of, have
read, of, or can manufacture, but still
my old mother has cause to grieve
as her heart is not pleased. So, in
my last aud almost hopeless extrem
ity, | appeal to you What must |
doY know full we'll where the fault
lies, but can find no remedy. | can
neither play on the piano nor sing.
and my hair will not part in the
middle, wax it down on both sides
as much as | will. Perhaps this is
where the trouble rests. Now can |
accomplish anything in this line
without these necessary qualiiica~
tons 7 I've tried again and again.
hard and harder, yet 1 can't learn
to play and sing. I've practiced
and sung, sung and practiced until
the marshal stopped me, saying, |
should not be alarming the commun>
ity to such an extent, for big
crowd had collected around the
house surprising from the peculiar
noise they heard that we had obtain.
ed new species Of ourang outang !
This blasted my most ssDguine
hopes, for, thinking they had col
lec.ed to hear my fiue singing was
beginning to congratulate myself on
the certaio success ! should meet
with in nv next effort to get wife.
But, alas for human hopes Again
| ask, what must do 7 The girls,
las if they knew anything about it,
say, am a good boy but so cold
hearted and peculiar ! don't think
| am such good boy, neither would
they If they would only give me a
chance to prove the truth Of the
matter. As for my being cold
hearted, I'm not more so than all the
rest of the boys, yet they can get
married. Neither am | peculiar,
after any oue comes TO know me well;
my old mother says IN not and she
ought to know if any body does.
What must | do : The trouble, |
know, rests with my fingers, my
voice and my hair, yet may | still
hope to get a wife while have all
these detects 7 Or, will you please
just persuade and convince some
dear angel OF woman that it is her
mission to take me, and then will
you drop me few lines saying what
must do and say also where | mus.
go to find her If you will, you
make me your lasting servant and
friend AID will shed light and sun
shine over the declining years of the
dearest old mother that ever lived.
am, Yours 10 distress,
THOMAS ToDIE TrrAMoUs.
Z s. For fear that you don't ex>
sctly understand my condition | will
give you the particulars again. ]
am a youth for whom bis dear old
mother is anxious to fiod a wife, to
take care of him, add who is not
.........f.I H~1o.,oo Al. ..x.sL q.