Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1879-03-12

" eS. SIT. W ell, nam got 10
the corner when the baker came
running ur, aud, said hc, | got an
idea. thought he was going to
say ne had baked some pies; but he
only wanted to make a deposition"
ale said there was millions in it
that plan of his. should travel
and give free eatin' exhibitions.
He would furnish the pies if |
would perform, and we'd divide the
profits. | agreed and we drew up
articles of partnership
"Well!" we suggested, Intensely
interested, as he hesitated with a
ructui cast ot countchattcc.
ut didn't work. The baker lost
on the pies, aud drew ont ut the end
of the second week $3.50 behind.
"peoplc didn't appreciate your
TALENT" we suggested.
ayes, they did, though. That's
what swamped us. 1t warn't the
natural business that cost, but the
angeoros. You see they insisted so
much on me rcpeatin' an act that
The pies piled mp like thunder May
be YOU wouldn't believe it, but I've
been called out ai0rc the curtain rs
many as six times in night.
He stopped to rcconnoitrc for
the effect of his statement. Feel.
ing assured, he added:
AN every time had to eat an
other basket of pies"
after the show broke, Mr.. Guz.
zier, what did YOU do!"
"Why, then | wentinto the cham.
pion business. That was two years
ago come Decoration Day. Since
then ! hcr ct seventy.two matches
and lost two of EN-
"Lost, did you!"
"ies, sir. I'm ashamed To tell il,
but lost EN-. Twerent fair, how.
evcr-'t weren't by fair means. First
time had to knock nndcr was in
Nigo county. Ny competitor were
fellow who had no fine points ct
honor about him, an him an his
hackers set it up Oh me-"
GLOW so!"
"Why, the dcrncd rascal brhcd
the contractor who had furnished
the pies. They were dried apple
pies. Well, sir. dye believe it, the
apples i'll his pies had been cooked
and swclIed afore they We're baked
Some way or mother they succeed
ed i'll putting my apples into the
crust ~ they cum out of the bag.
loH can guess the rest
"Not exactly we urged.
"Watf, while was corraiiin' the
sixth pie them blamed apples had
already overcome began to soak
and swell into me. Then, Mister. ]
had to cease further Operations
and tend To the contract already
had taken. Never had SIGH time
III my life. | could jest feel them
dried fruit swellin' up under my
waistband like bubbles from IA pipe.
They kept swclln' and u swcllin'
till ! thought I'd have to git cut
open"
"Rnt you didn't!"
$50, | didn't. After they had in.
Hated To their full capacity, found
| had brcathin' room left. but thai
WAS about al. My heart was push.
ed away I" one side, and had to
thump and do duty of i'll one cor
ner for halt day
"Narrow escape" We suggested.
"Narrow escape' Well. should
say so. One more of them Id
contracted pies would have blown
my head right of my shoulders like
a busted hilcr."
".And YOU second defratY
"Cum about in this wise. That
was up in Grant county. My com.
poncnt didn't Try no dried apple
dodge on me-Rot much. Ii wouldn't
have been healthy il tic had. But
1t was my own fault. | had told
my baker to have the pies ready
sure at the appointed hour when
we were 10 start. Well, he had 'em
ready-too red.dy."
Guzzler smiled at the pun. and
then suddenly WINGED and sucked
IN n mouthtul Of cool air as he
seemed to rccollect something.
Then pies had just come from
the oven, and were so hot they
would have melted a stone. The
hour WAS at hand. an must either
rat en- or lose the match. Well,
Sir, there never was nothin' | would
not attempt, and charged"
"Chargedr
"les. sir. ! attempted to carry
EN- by storm. 1t was Jest awful. /
Talk about your Chicago fer. /.
fwarnt no comparison
Guzzler picked up his hat and
.ried to fan away the recollection
before he continued.