The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1879-01-09
STANDARD PARAGRAPHS.

STANDARD PARAGRAPHS.
Weather decidedly cool, with iadie-
u tions of freeze.
A pie-ous man: The baker.
A GRACEFUL man: The minister.
quiet man: He who has scoldin
wife
strong man: The man who works il
lanyard.
truthful man: The newspaper para
grapher.
A dan gerous man The physicia---
hallool We're treading on dangerous
ground
Broad is the road that leads to debt.
Thurman sneezes at the Ohio Governor
ship.
''Ears to your as the topper said to the
mule
IT'S truthful community. Every man
you meet assures you that it is cold
The man who "cut an acquaintance
has escaped, but detectives are on his
track.
1t is useless to tell a small boy that
shingles are made to cover houses with.
He knows better.
"Greenbacks have reached parl' Now
if par will just hand a fellow over few,
lit will be all right
Little Phil Sheridan gave the Schurz
of the Interior Department vigorous
wringing last week.
"Oh, Ice sayl'' yelled the man, but be-
fore his friend could respond, he had
struck the street with his head
Ingersoll and Beecher are to blame for
this coldness We knew how it would
be when they abolished all the heat.
There are, probably, now Democrats in
the Ohio Legislature who will stand up
and say they are better than John o Con-
norl
Times are hard, yet the people of New
York paid twenty thousand dollars to see
Chicago Irishman tramping around a
circle.
The mighty Ice-King of the North
Now urls-his-his-
Uughl Shut the doorl Its too cold to
think about writing poetry now.
No one can make fun of Thurman's
handkerchief this weather Every man
is compelled to use one, and use it vigor
ously.
jeff. Davis has written book. The
title-page should be embellished with a
portrait Of the author in full dress-the
one in which Col. Pritchard found him.
How provoking while reading some of
Tennyson's beautiful passages, to pause
and reflect that the au thor, while writing
them, was smoking an old black pipe
Hon Mills Gardner is mentioned as
possible candidate for Governor of Ohio.
A frst-class man, but we must not think
of it, The President would not be pleased.
Don't joke a country editor about
hanging up his stocking on New Years
Eve" A man can't hang up thing he
hasnt--but it won't do to joke him
about it.
We noticed young Jackson man out
sleigh riding the other day with cow
bell attached to his horse. He was fol-
lowing the cow-bell righ t along, yet should
we insinuate that he is calf he would
probably get mad.
"How does my new dress ft?" asked
Adelina, as she founced into the pres
ence of the old gentleman
Fiji Why its all stuff and nonsense
A mere stack of garb-agep
A Western paper thinks the Democrats
of Ohio will bring out Bill Allen again.
We don't think so, as Mr. Allen is get
ting little old, and will probably retire
from politics.
The sword of Damocles appears to hang
over the crowned heads. In England
and Germany there are gloomy forebod
ings of trouble. We'd rather be an s to
President than Emperor of Germany.
Hayes to John Sherman: "Good morn
ing Mr.. Secretary, it's little cold"
Sherman: "Little gold Why, my dear
Mr.. President, we have enough on hand
to prevent and possible combination from
defeating resumption !"
Samuel j. Tilden has doubled his for
tune by rise in the stock of the elevated
railroad. Uncle Sammy is always getting
elevated" This time it is by a railroad,
but it hasn't been very long since the
Electoral Commission hoisted him clean
over the White House fence
Tam John Sherman" !" said Kratzer, on
the I'd of January. II yust go NIT der
bank und git doc dollars, nit a check,
und dey gif me doc little yellow dollars.
not so pig as nickels, und go, right away,
und loose him. Dee goondry is ruined
NIT John Sherman
"Im ready to gol" said the poor suffer
ing man; "I'm weary, and long to be at
rest; I'm prepared - But when they
told him he was looking might paler,
he sent two persons after the minister
and three after the doctor, just the same
as though he wasn't prepared.
And still they claim that Ohio is enti-
tied to first-class foreign appointment,