davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23
Sauce for Both Geese,

Angry passion meets cool business
when it gets into court; and quiet
umpire can generally settle two quar-
refers, and their quarrel, too, quite i'm
partially. Two enraged women, who
went to law in New York the other day,
found that there was law enough for
them both.
"Well, ma'am, what can / do for
you?" queried Judge Morgan, at Jeffer-
son Market Police Court, 5he other af-
ternoon, to a rather spruce-looking
young woman, whose manner was some
what ruf1ed.
"Jedge, Yer Honor, there's Mrs.
McQuade, Jedge, Yer Honor, and she's
all the time abusing me, Jedge, Yer
Honor, and breaking my door, Jedge,
Yer"
so, Judge, Yer Honor! don't believe
a word she says! O, Judge, Yer Honor,
look at my eye! o, Judge, Yer Honor,
she couldn't tell the truth even in a
dhrame! Oil"
81 want warrant against Mary Nc
Quade. Tll have the law of her if
there's any to be had"
"That'n do, iadiesl that'll do! Now,
Mrs. Jones, do you make a complaint
against Mrs. McQuade?"
"Oh, 1 do, Judge, Yer Honor, l do.
She"
$50 to the clerk there and make it. %
Mrs. Jones went.
"Now, Mrs. McQuade-"
"Judge, Yer Honor, is there no law
for me?"
Certainly. Do you want to make a
complaint against Mrs. Jones?'
~ do; indeed do"
$50 to the other clerk there"
Both ladies went to the clerks indi-
Gated. Their complaints were taken,
sworn to and handed up to the Judge,
who read them, while the women stood
before him, glaring defantly at each
other.
"Mrs. Jones, Mrs. McQuade, you are
each fined ten dollars on the other
complaint"
The women collapsed, burst into tears,
and were locked up for the night, being
unable to pay.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23
"A Belated New-Year's Caller.
Detroit Free Press.

He began making calls early Wednes.
day morning, and he was still at it at
eleven o'clock Thursday night. At that
hour he rang the door-bell of house
on Brush-street, and when no one an
swered he kicked on the door so furiously
that half dozen families were aroused
at once. The owner of the house came
down stairs, stuck his nose out to the
frost, and called out:
"What in the name of Heaven is all
this row aboutT'
"Wish 'e yappy New'rsl" exclaimed
the caller as he pushed his way into the
hall.
"New Years is past. you idiotI"
roared the householder as he tried to put
him out, but the stranger was too much
for him. and when finally dragged down
the steps it was by the aid of neighbor
and policeman.
"Roland Short, this looks like seri-
GUS case" observed his Honor as the
witness stepped back.
"He didn't have any basket out" re-
Joined the prisoner.
Basketl Why, how long after New
Years is one to keep basket out?'
81 don't know what the law u.s." said
the prisoner, as he scratched his head.
"If he'd opened the door in a genteel
way, and told me that New Years was
over, and that hilariousness had ceased,
1 should have put ten dollar bill in
his hand and passed on"
"Didn't you know when New-Year's
day came to an end?" inquired the
Court.
"Noi exactly; 1 haven't been in this
State but three weeks, and Pm not
posted upon your laws and customs. In
Indiana New-Year's lasts as long as any.
body's got biscuit and bite of cold
meat"
Indiana is very nice State, but I'll
have to fine you S., Mr.. Short"
"Pll-Pll send you the money from
New Albany" replied the prisoner,
after searching his pockets.
"Oh, don't 60 to any trouble, Mr..
Short. Pll say thirty days in place OF
the cash; and by the time you come out
you'll get old years, and new years and
all other kinds of years, all straight in
your mind. Please stand aside and give
that lady a chance"
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23
The Ice Scenery at Niagara.

A correspondent of the Buffalo
Courier, writing from Niagara Falls,
saws: From Luna Island can be had a
good view of the ice-bridge, which ex-
tends from the south side OF the Ameri-
can Fall to little below the new sus-
pension bridge, and looks, in the dis
tance, like the icy ruins of an ancient
CITY, with streets and walls, its inhabit-
ants crossing and re-crossing, and look
ing like tiny animated specks in the
distance. Next in order comes the
stairway and bridges to Terrapin Rock
Here the trees, etc., are very thickly
covered with ice, the bridges looking as
if formed of ice. The channel between
the first Sister Island and shore, the
next place visited, is perfectly dry,
caused by the dam of ice above. The
stream between the second and third
Sister Island rushes along with increased
force and sends up a cloud of spray.
While walking along near the head OF
the island saw flock of about twenty
Mallard ducks in small open place in
the ice, sheltered from the wind. Thou
sands of ducks fill the open places in
the ice, and as they are obliged to fly
from one pond to another, they are
slaughtered in large quantities by the
pitiless hunter, secreted at the edge of
the ponds, with decoys in the water,
and an overgrown white shirt over his
other clothes. From the head of Goat
Island the river above presents beau
tiful appearance, looking like vast snow
balls over the surface Of the water.
The ice above the Falls presents one
solid field, extending from Goat Island
nearly to Towanda. A person can start
from the Cataract House and walk to
Grand Island on the ice without getting
his feet wet. In the park the ice forma-
tions are very beautiful, in some places
eclipsing the best efforts of the Swiss
caryers. The ice mountain continues
to grow, and will already furnish coast
ing for the most reckless. The dome of
the observatory is covered with two or
three feet of ice, and very curiously
formed. The view from the ice bridge
surpasses that at all other points. Gil
gantic icicles hang from the edges of the
falls, the water, as it comes over the
fall, is congealed into fakes of ice, and
waited by the wind in every direction.
Huge cakes of ice come floating down
the stream, impelled by the swift cur
rents, and striking the bridge, are either
ground to powder, lifted onto it, or GO
whirling along beneath the bridge to
come to the surface again at the end
of
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23
Old Pronunciation.

The Detroit Free Press says that when
the Irishman is ridiculed for his brogue
he can retort that he learned it where
he learned his hate-from the English.
For it is scarcely one hundred years
since the English pronounced many
words as the Irish now do. The English
man changed and the Irishman stuck.
Pope's celebrated line shows that in his
time tea was pronounced tag.
Hear thou, great Anna, whom three realms obey,
Dost somestimes counsel take, and sometimes tear
(tay)
In a poem on Bath and its environs
(1775):
MUSES. DER some book or tribes DER the tea (tay),
Or with soft music drives dull care away.
The French pronounce tea in this way
though they spell it the. In this way
also we're pronounced beat (bate), eat
(ate), mean mane), heat, seat, plea, weary,
sea, lea, pea, etc. The poet Surrey
rhymes heat with great, ease with essays,
and please with days. This pronun-
citation brings out more clearly the joke
of Falstaff's celebrated retort, eff reas,
ons (raisins) were plenty as blackberries
| would give none on compulsion." In
the fifteenth century treason and season
were pronounced traison and saison
Cowley rhymes cheat with great; Milton
feat with eai (ate;) Drayton. seas with
raise. In 16A1 may was written mea
Cowper makes Robinson Crusoe say
| 7 am monarch of all survey,
| My right thereis none to dispute,
| From the center all round TO the sea (say),
| l am lord of the fowl and the brute.
So that the Irishman has very gooC
authority for some at least of his pecul
iarities.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23
Eugenie.

A correspondent of the San Francisco
Chronicle, writing from London, says
The largest city in the world abounds
in extraordinary subjects for the student
of human life, especially as England has
long been the chosen refuge of conti-
mental ex-royalty. The most no ed ex-
ample of the vicissitudes of the present
era is the family which last inhabited
the imperial palaces of France, now liv-
ing in Chiselhurst, and consisting at the
present time primarily of two persons
-one young man, who left the Tuiler-
les when boy of fourteen, the other a
woman, who, in historical pageant of
nearly twenty years, was principal
character. 1t is impossible to describe
Eugenie, the ex-Empress of the French,
from seeing her once, as her personal
appearance and her manners change
with her varying moods One day, in
the highest spirits, she makes ready for
a dashing drive out into the world again.
Dresses are brought forth, rouge is ac-
lively employed, jewels are summoned
to their places, and the. ghost of the
elegant Empress Eugene, fashions
leader, steps forth with vivacious words
and smiles that last as long as she en-
deavors to cheat herself and the world
that events and anxieties weigh lightly
every attempt demonstrating more
plainly the weight of both. Another
time she is changed from this condition
into quite the opposite, wherein she is the
dethroned empress, the mourning widow,
the unhappy woman with a proud, pale
face, on which grand vicissitudes and
ambitious anxieties are legibly written
NOT in wrinkles, but in cold, absent
dreaniness. Dressed in deep, rich
mourning, all warmth and color gone
from her face, immobile features, that
express no more than wax or marble
would, a woman not beautiful but very
stately, uttering nothing, recognizing
nothing, although among a thousand
persons, yet with always a peer;ng look
in her eyes, as if searching for some
body or something beyond them all, or
a lost key that may unlock the long
closed door of rest-this is her usual
appearance when the. London public
sees the ex-Empress Eugenie. The
peering expression of the eyes she has
in every mood, when her features are in
repose. 1t is distinctly noticeable in
her figure among the wax statues in
Madame Tussaud's Historical Gallery
in London, where she wears a black
satin robe, her hair, with the modern
fringe, falling over the forehead, bare
and beautiful neck, whose delicate
slope into the figure is the one model
point of loveliness that could not be
surpassed: bare arms, also beautiful,
bearing mourning bracelets of several
slender rings, and black gloves, nearly
half to the elbow. Her attitude, al
though she is seated, has an alert ex-
preston, as of One ready to start. She
has one glove on, and has the other in
the hand; sits upright, and the light
blue eyes have precisely the expression
given by the attitude of the angel which
watches above the clock that is over
the front door of Camden House-a
sculpture that was there as though an
ticipating its original, before the Bona
parties thought of or knew of Camden
Place.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23
A Curious History.

DIR. Julius Millingen, who was sue
cessful archeologist and discoverer, and
the physician who attended Lord Byron
in his last illness, has just died at Con-
stantinople. He was once in the service
of the Sultan Mahmoud ii, and became
physician to the Sultana, mother of
Abdul Medjid. Millingen was three
times married. His first wife was a
Roman Catholic, from whom he subse-
quently separated; while she embraced
islam and entered the harem of the
Grand Vizier, Kybryslui Mehemed
Pacha. Her son, Frederick Millingen,
became Turk, taking the name of Osman
Bey, and entered the Turkish army.
Later on he visited several European
cities, giving lectures and writing
pamphlets on Turish affairs, and lately,
passing to the other extreme, ne has
been metamorphosed into Alexei Andre
jivich, in Russia, and received baptism
according to the rite of the Greel
ClurCl. q
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23
A Pearly Romance.
LOor. London Land and Water. !


l will tell you a circumstance that
happened some twenty-five or thirty
years ago, when was residing in Cal
cutta. One morning our friend, the
late DR.. Vass, surgeon of the Royal
army, brought to my husband, DR.. John
Grant, box containing twelve or thir-
teen pearls of various sizes, saying
" Grant, you are well-known man in
Calcutta, and 1 want you to hear the
curious account of these pearls, and to
take charge of the box, and let me know
any change you may see in them. Their
history is as follows: About forty year:
ago lady at Amboyna gave pearl to
each of two sisters, saying, These are
breeding pearls; take good care of them
never touch them with the hand, as heat
Injuries them, and feed them on rice
One of these sisters has just come to
Cllcutta, and she has lent the box to
me to show to you. In the forty years
she has had it this is the result-twelve
or thirteen young ones" The box was
opened, and there lay on cotton the
mother pearl, rather large but ill
shaped individual. The eldest daughter
as called it, was a lovely pearl, about
the size that jewellers generally set three
in ring. The others were perfect in
shape, but gradually decreased in size
two very small called the twins, as
they stuck together, and the last was g
very wee seed pearl. According to in.
structions, rice was put in the box
which was locked in a secret drawer in
the cabinet, of which my husband alone
kept the key. After some days we
opened the box, and 30 our astonish
ment we found that every grain of rice
h had been nibbled. 1 can not think of s
better word. How nibbled, I can moi
imagine, but that one fact I can vouch
for. A few weeks after, we had to leave
Calcutta. The box was returned t.
DIR. Vass, and what became of it 1 know
not. Ihave often mentioned it to my
friends, and some years ago saw in {
book that lay upon my friends tabl,
that people in the East believed in breed
ing pearls.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23
AnIncident Of the Late Snow Blockade

F. E. Peterson writes to the Newark
Advertiser: l left Buffalo on the night of
the second of this month by the Erie
fast express, with two engines, expect
ing to force our way through the accu-
mulating snow. We had only gone
eighteen miles, however, when the en-
gines became detached, while trying to
force passage through a drift. The
steam of the head engine having become
exhausted, it could not signal to the rear
engine, and the consequence was col
lision which disabled both engines, and
left us without provisions, exposed to the
fury of the storm, and long distance
from station or house. The storm in
creased to such degree that it was un-
safe for human being to venture forth,
but hunger gave us courage, and three
of us, the conductor, Mr.. McGill,
brakeman, and myself, determined to
make the attempt. We swathed our
heads in pillow cases and towels, and
started with our backs to the wind. At
the rate the wind was blowing and swirl
ing the snow we could see but few
yards ahead, and soon found we were
lost, not being able to retrace our foot
stepsfin the fast falling snow. Exhaus-
ted and intensely cold We at length
reached a farmhouse, where all the pro-
visions we could find was one loaf of
brown bread, one pie, a pitcher of cof-
fee, and some raw potatoes, wherewlth
to satisfy the hunger of some twenty
people; and that without hope OF further
supplies that day. However, we did not
feel discouraged, and with our supplies
in pillow case found our way back to
the train, having to walk backward
nearly all the way.
Our colored porter proved himself
equal to every emergency, by alternate
ly acting as cham mbermaid, cook and
preacher. Toward night he found
basket of sausages in the baggage car,
which was Immediately appropriated, a
piece of tin was converted into frying
pan, and soon the delightful aroma of
fried sausages and baked pot itoes filled
the car and produced feeling of gen.
eral jollity, which never leftus all the
rest of our term of imprisonment. All
the next day we had short rations of
sausages and potatoes, till about nine in
the evening we were dug out and taken
back to Lancaster, N. Y, where the
station master kindly exerted himself
and supplied our immediate necessities,
and where we remained till Monday
evening, when we slowly proceeded on
our way: The snow in some places was
drifted SO high that we could run up and
touch the telegraph wires. We were
very fortunate in having such obliging
and careful officials, and notwithstand-
ing the many accidents and loss of life
connected with the snow blockade on
other roads, no one was injured on this.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23
Crime Among the Clergy.

There are some newspapers which
publish, and some people who read,
with especial relish, says the Buffalo
Courier, all accounts of crime or lapses
from virtue in which the sinners are
clergymen. 1t is comforting, perhaps,
to some to see that ministers are human
like themselves, while others, doubtless,
find a natural hatred of Christianity
gratiied by the disgrace of its conspic
uous representatives and professional
teachers. For both these classes a West
ern paper has curiously catered by in
Guiding in its annual statistics a list of
the clergy of the country who vefallen
from grace during twelve months of
1878. This strange and sorry compila-
tion shows that of the thirty thousand
clergymen and preachers of all denom-
nations in the United States, ffty-one
brought public reproach on their call
ing last year. Twenty-Five of these
were convicted of ofenses of various
grades against women, six of drunken
ness, four of theft, two of poisoning,
two of fighting, two of larceny, two of
conspiracy, two of forgery, and one each
of murder, riotous conduct, desertion,
suicide, embezzlement and illicit dis
tilling and SANDER. The list looks quite
formid able, and will pretty surely go
into certain well-known orators next
lecture as convincing proof of the
spuriousness of the Christian religion.
But, if twas compiled with any such
sinister motive, it signally fails to ac-
complish its purpose. The proportion
of criminality it reveals-about one in
six hundreds a remarkably small
one. AS compared with what the like
statistics of any other profession or oc-
cupation would disclose we might even
say that it establishes the vast moral
superiority of clergymen as class.
When it is remembered, moreover, that
the ministerial profession is not seldom
adopted by bad men solely on account
of the exceptional good name it enjoys,
it must be admitted that the clergy as a
whole are not unworthy of the high
place accorded to them in the esteem of
the community. Christianity has many
times outlived the worst injuries that
false professors of its doctrines could
infict upon it, and its vitality is in no
wise dependent even on the efforts of
its true supporters; but it is gratifying
to know that, judged even by such i'm
perfect tests as the morals of its clergy,
it is not seriously put to shame.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23

WE do not propose to speak of Cana
dian funkeyism. Once upon time
Albert Edward was in this country, and
again the Duke Alexis favored us with
his commanding presence, and the
Aunkeyism that attended the move
ments of those distinguished gentlemen
were quite as distinguished as anything
that has afflicted Canada lately. Bye
and-bye Lorne and Louise will visit us
and there will be repetition of this
manner of welcome. Meanwhile, hun
dreds of Americans will visit Canada
and employ all manner of ways and
means and subterfuge to reach the
smiles of the mild royalty prevailing
there. No, we have nothing to say
about dunkeyism.-BufaIo cypress.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23
About Snow.
Snow is white.
Snow is frozen rain.

Snow is white.
Snow is frozen rain.
There is but one kind of snow.
Railroad men don't like snow.
Snow is said to be very beautiful.
They don't have snow down South.
1t sometimes SHOWS more than people
want it to.
Snow sometimes drifts-especially
when the wind blows.
Snow balls are not very good to eat.
Goldfish balls are more wholesome.
When there is snow, little boys slide
down hill and break their necks. It's fun.
Shakespeare said: GAS chaste as un-
summed snow" He also had something
to say about wallowing naked in Decem-
Der SNOW. We wouldn't advise it. 1t
would be cold, and
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23

allowing publishers of newspapers for ad.
vertising the delinquent and forfeited lists
of the several counties and the notice of sale,
"a; for designating the several
townships, villages, and cities, and
the several wards in any city, twenty
cents each, and for each tract of land, city,
or town lot, or part of lot contained in each
of said lists, ten cents; provided that in no
case shall greater sum than ore.half of the
taxes and penalty due on any tract, lot, or
part of lot, be allowed for advertising such
tract, lot, or part of lot; and no such prop
erty shall be published in said list as
delinquent on which the taxes and penalty
shall have been paid on or before the goth
of December.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23

THE morals of horse trading are some
what peculiar. A gentleman bought
fine trotter, who was warranted to be
without fault. 1t was discovered, how
ever, that he was blind in one eye. The
sold demonstrated with the seller, and
INDUCED in a long discourse on the
virtue of truthfulness, just as though
horse dealing was not outside all the
rules of commercial ethics. You told
me, sir, that the horse was entirely
without fault, and yeti he is blind" The
casuist looked blandly into the irritated
countenance of the loser by the transac.
ton and said, with charming naiuete
81 do not regard blindness as fault
sir; it is misfortune.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23
Once the Loveliest Woman in Europ .

A Paris correspondent writes to the
Philadelphia Ledger: " Walking in the
woods one day, my friend met pale,
elderly lady, in the plainest of black
cashmere dresses. Her gray hair, which
showed threads of bright chestnut
through its silver, was put back plainly
under simple hat of black straw. She
was very lame, and was evidently suf-
fering extremely from rheumatism. She
was accompanied by another lady as
quietly dressed as herself. Do you
know who that isF asked my friends
companion as they passed. No, was
the answer. Do you think she is hand
somep Not at all. Nor can even
see any traces of past beauty. Yet that
lady was once hailed as the loveliest
woman in Europe; it is the Empress
Eugene. She was living in the quiet
est possible manner at Ems, and before
she left was much benefited by the
waters. But she seems to have relin-
ouished all effort to struggle against the
ravages of time, and to have laid aside
the false adornments wherewith, a few
years ago, she used to disfgure instead
of improve her appearance. Still, it is
very sad to imagine this once peerless
beauty now changed to a faded, elderly
invalid, deposed from her throne of tri-
umphant loyeliness as from the throne
of France
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23

TIE body of a gentleman residing at
Eweline Oxford, has been buried in his
garden, in defiance of the sanitary au-
thorities, who sent an inspector to sup
plement the funeral service with warn
ing that the mourners were committing
a nuisance. 1t will now be seen whether
an Englishman's garden is his cemetery.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23

Mr.: W. 81. PREEcE, the electrician to
the British Postofhce, is inclined to look
upon the present activity about the
electric light as one of those sensational
spasms which seize the public period
jcally at intervals of about ten years.
he has not yet found the ideal electric
light.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23

Business cards Of ave lines or less. IS per snnum.
Local notices 10 cents per line each insertion.
Simple announcements OF marriages and deaths
s5d church and benevolent society notices inserted
free. Any additions to obituary notices will be
charged i've cents per line. -
Farors must be banded in as early rs Tuesday
morning to insure insertion the same week.
Communications upon subjects Of general or local
'nfarest solicitcd~
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-23

In the Senate, January II, the
roll was called and motion
to adjourn till Tuesday after.
noon was carried House-.Mr. Booth,
of Franklin, introduced an advertising bill