davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02
Endless Gold.

Brown always declared that he would
marry an heiress, but being next door
TO penniless himself, his friends didn't
quite believe him, though he had never
been known to tell an untruth. One
evening at political meeting he made
the acquaintance Of great cotton lord,
Sir Calico Twill, and happening to say
Hear, hear - in the right place several
times whilst Sir Calico was speaking,
the old gentleman took fancy to him,
and asked him home to snpper. There
he met his hosts daughter, a charming
young lady with eight thousand year,
fell desperately in love with her, pop
ping the question in the conservatory
and was referred to her papa.
Before | take the matter into con-
sideration," said Sir Calico, when
Brown had stated his case, ''you must
answer me one question. What is your
fortune:'
"Well, / don't exactly know" an
swered Brown, being uncertain whether
that was three penny or four penny
under his tobacco jar at home; but let
your daughter become my wife, and |
promise she shall have endless gold"
Endless gold is rather an eXaggera-
tion, eh," remarked Sir Calico.
Scarcely in my case" said Brown,
''as let my wife and | be as eXtravagant
as we might, we should never be able
TO get through it,"
''Are you telling me the truth ?"
1.-The truth. | swow."
''Then take her, my boy" said Sir
Calico, grasping Browns hand, land
happy | am that my child has been
saved from the clutches of rogues and
fo-tune-hunters."
Well, they were married, and Brown
made tue money fly at sucn a rate that
when his wife's milliner's bill came in
he was obliged TO confess himself
stumped. Mrs. b. Immediately sent for
her papa.
whats this?'' said Sir Calico,
stumped? What do you mean, sir I.
Where's the endless gold you promised,
eh?''
1--we kept my PROMISE" answered
Brown.
kept your promise, and can't find
the money to pay a paltry milliner's
bill. Why-yOu-you-"
''Calm yourself, old boy,' interrupt
ed Brown. II promised to give your
daughter endless gold, which both of
us, be as extravagant as we might,
should never be able to get through.
Was it not so:''
Yes, and you"
''Don't fiuster yourself now. I've
kept my promise"
"How?"
"Well, l gave her wedding ring
that's endless gold, isn't it? And, my
DEAR" added Brown, turning 10 his
wife, "do you think that both of us
could ever get through anything which
only just fits one OF those taper fin
gersg"
Sir Calico looked as if he was going
have fit. but timely remark of his
daughters probably averted the catas-
trophe.
'.Well, papa" she said, ''there's still
one thing in our favor. No one can say
that I've got fool for a husband" So
the storm blew over. and now Brown
and his wife, though they do have to
manage on eight thousand a year, are
the happiest couple in tile two hemis-
pheres.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02

The egg bird of the North Sea is the
arIie, while its southern cousin supplies
the people of San Francisco with lib
eral number of its gayly colored eggs,
taken from the Farallons, indeed the
arrie is the only sea-bird of real econo-
mic value to man throughout our whole
northwest and north. Ii is probably
safe to say that the numbers of these
birds which assemble at st. George are
vastly greater than elsewhere on the
globe. As faint but truthful state
ment the following may be said: When
the females begin to squat continuous
over their eggs, along by the end of
June and the first of July, the males
regularly relieve them, taking turns in
keeping the eggs warm. Thus they
feed alternately, going out to sea for
that purpose. This constant going out
and coming in during the day gives
rise, at regular hours in the morning
and evening, to dark girdle of these
birds flying just above the water,
around and around the island in an
endless chain more than a quarter of a
mile broad and thirty miles in length.
This great belt of flying arries repre-
sents just one-half of these birds breed
ing on the cliffs, for only those arries
are in the circling column that are off
or relieved by their mates for the day,
from the duty of incubation.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02
A Mysterious Spring.

In the summer of 1888 the Third
United States Artillery, commanded
by Colonel Gates, was encamped at the
foot of the Missionary Ridge, engaged
in the removal of the Cherokee In
dians. One day the Colonel ordered
out fatigue party to clean out the
spring, beautiful fountain bubbling
up at the foot of the Ridge. Shortly
after, the sergeant reported to head
quarters that his men were all drunk.
SAYS the Colonel: "You should not
have let the men drink whisky" 81
did not" replied the sergeant, ''they
drank nothing but water from the
spring" The sergeant and men were
ordered into the guard-house a new de-
tail sent out and lieutenant placed
in command with orders to not let the
men have access to any spirits. Not
long after, the lieutenant reported the
men all drunk. The men were order
ed to the guard-house and the lieuten-
ant under arrest. Another party was
ordered out, of which Colonel Gates
himself took the command. He took a
seat on stump so he could overlook
the whole ground, determined there
should be no getting drunk this time.
But behold, in short time his men
were all drunk. He was certain they
had drank nothing but water, which
they frequently did, getting down on
their knees and drinking from the
branch just below the spring. The
Colonel was at his wits end. The men
were ordered to the guard-house, and
he repaired to his tent TO think. After
weighing the matter pro and con he
had to give it up, and repairing to the
guard-house he told the men if they
would show him how il was done he
would release them, otherwise he
would punish them severely. To this
they agreed and taking him to the
spring; just below the spring in the
branch they unearthed five-gallon
jug partly filled with whisky, the
mouth of which was stopped with
cork, in which was inserted a quill
that reached to the bottom. When
buried in the sand the upper end of
the quill was just above the surface of
the water, and when they wanted to
drink they stopped down, inserted the
quill in their mouth, and while appar-
emily drinking pure water were drink
ing pure whisky, and the Colonel. sit
ting on the stump in plain view, was
none the wiser for it.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02
HUMOROUS.

An Throw YOURSELF IN. = The
Sioux City and Pacific train stopped at
Onawa and the smart man on the train
leaned ont of the window and shouted
to native:
What is the name of this town."
"Onawa," replied the native.
son what?" queried the smart
man.
Patiently the native repeated the
name OF the hamlet.
"Do you want to sell il 2" asked the
smart man.
The patient native "didn't know
lowed maybe they'd sell if anybody
wanted to buy it bad enough"
"Pll give you twenty-eight cents for
it," bid the smart man.
The native turned his head thought
fully on one side and considered the
proposition in silence. Finally he
raised his head with the air of man
who had about made up his mild TO
trade.
"An' throw yourself in?" he asked.
The window came down with slam,
and as the train pulled out, there was
laughter in the car, but the smart man
couldn't tell whether it was meant for
himself or the native, although he was
inclined to think it was.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02

The presence Of hydrogen in iron, says a
writer in the Complies Rendus. appears
to modify greatly Its magnetic proper
ties. \ platinum wire, coated with
galvanic iron, was placed in the axis of
a magnetic needle, osciilating on a
point or pivot, and at a fixed distance
from one fits extremities. The needle,
drawn from its position of equilibrium
oscillated twenty-siX times minute.
The iron having been magnetized and
replaced at the same distance from the
needle, the latter made forty-twO oscil-
ations in the same time; heated TO a
red heat, the iron lost its poles; when
magnetized anew to saturation, il made
the needle oscillate only thirty-three
times in minute. Thus assuming
that the magnetic forces of the iron in
these three states were TO each other as
the squares of the number of oscillations
and taking as unity the magnetic force
of hydrogenized iron not maSnetized,
the result is 2.609 for the magnetized
hydrogeniZed iron, and 1.6l0 for the
iron deprived of hydrogen and mag
netized.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02
The Sermon and the Shirt.

While on the subject of sermons, !
cannot resist repeating a conversation
between a friend and his farm servant,
which illustrates the remark made,
that an Irishman is rarely at loss for
a reply or an excuse.
''That was good sermon. was it not
that we had last Sunday" said the
gentleman.
"Thrue for you, yer homer. an ILL.,
CANT wan, 1t done me a power o. good
entirely
"I'm glad of that Can you tell me
what particularly struck you: What
was it it about:"
''Oh, WELL" scratching his head, 81
don't rightly not just exactly know.
I-a-I-a-where's the use in telling
lies? Sure, doh't remember one sin
gle individual word of it, good or bad
Sorra a bit of it me knows what it was
about at ALL
"And yet you say it did you power
of good! ~
$50 it did sir. I'll stick to that"
81 don't see how"
"Well, now, yer honor, look here.
There's my shirt that the wife is after
washing; and clean and white it is, by
reason OF all the water and starch that's
gone through it. But not a drop o.
'em all-water, or soap, or starch, or
blue-has stayed in, dye see. And
that's just the same with me and that
sermon. It's run through me, yer
honor, and it's dried out of me; but.all
the same, just like my Sunday shirt,
I'm the better and the cleaner after it. T"
There was more philosophy than he
was aware of in the quaint reasoning
of the man. An impression for good
or evil is often left upon the mind and
bears fruit, when what has caused the
influence has passed away from our
memories.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02
SCIENTIFIC.

Color Blindness De ned.-Mr.. William
Pole, writing i'm Nature, thus explains
the true limits and nature of color
blindness: In. the first place We see
white and black. and their intermedi-
ate or compound gray provided they
are free from alloy with other colors)
precisely as others do. Secondly,
there are two colors, properly so called, 4,
namely, yellow and blue, which also,
if unalloyed, we see, so far as can be
ascertainad, in the normal manner.
But these two are the only colors of
which we have any sensation; and
hence the defect has been given by
Sir John Herschel the scientific name
of dichronic risioR. But now comes the
difficulty of the explanation. 1t may
naturally be asked: Do we not see OBJ
jects of other colors, such as roses.
grass, yiolets, oranges, and so on? And
if we do see them, what do they look
like! The answer Is that we do see all
such things, but that they do not give
us the color sensations correctly be-
longing TO them; their colors appear to
us varieties of the other color sensa-
tions which We are able to receive.
This will be best explained by exam
Piles. Take first the color red. A SOL
dier's coat or a stick of red sealing-wax
conveys TO me very positive sensation
of color, by which am perfectly able
to identify, in a great number of in
stances, bodies of this hue. But when
| examine more closely what l really
do see, am obliged to come to the con-
clusion that the sensation 1 perceive is
not one that L can identify separately,
but Is simply modification of one of
my other sensations, namely, yellow.
IT is, in fact, a yellow shaded with
black or gray-a darkened yellow, or
what l may call yellow brown. | find
that all the most common hues of red
correspond with this description, and
in proportion as they are more scarlet
or more tending toward orange, the
yellow i see is more vivid. The expla-
nation, suppose. Is, that none of such
reds are pure. they are combinations of
red with yellow; so that i see the yell
low element of the combination, while
the true red element is invisible to me
as color, and acts only as darkening
shade
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02
Old Maids and Old Bachelors.

Old maids are useful. They can COOK
sew. and take care of children, nurse
sick people. and generally play 'he
piano. ,
Old bachelors are useless. Ihey uo
not even know how to drive mans vi
split wood.
Old maids are amiable. If one wants
anything done that requires PATIENCE
and kindness of heart, single lazy Is
sure to be the one to do it.
Old bachelors are ill-natured. 1hey
desire 20 be as disobliging as possible
snub children, despise babies and nate
young mothers, and are always SO ousi-
ly employed in seeing that other
people take good care of them that they
have not moment to give to any one
else.
Old maids are very nice-looking and
very "young FOL their years"
Old bachelors generally have req
noses. rheumatism in their knees, bald
heads, and mouths that turn down at
the corners.
| Old maids can make a home OF one
little room, and cook delicious meals for
one over the gas Jet in cunning little
tin pans, besides making all their own
wardrobe.
Old bachelors need an army of tall
ors, walters, cooks, distant relatives
and hotel landlords, TO keep them COM
Portable.
When old maids are ill they tie up
their heads in Observation-Disclosures,
take homeopathic pellets out of the two
bottles, alternately, and get well again.
When old bachelors are i'll they go to
bed and send for four doctor; have
consultation; mantlepieee full of
black bottles; all the amiable married
men who belong to the club to sit up
with them at night, besides a hired
nurse; they telegraph to their rela-
tions, and do their best to impress the
world with the idea that they are
dying.
When an old maid travels she takes
sandwich, a piece of pOundcake, a
bottle of lemonade in hand bas ket
and lunches comfortably in the car
riage.
/ When an old bachelor travels he or
| ders dinner in courses at the station,
and raves because he has not time to eat
before the Fifteen minutes for refresh
\ ment" are over.
When an old maid leaves this sphere
of action she straightway joins the
white-robed host, but with crusty old
batchelor-its 4 little mixed.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02

DRIED FRUIT FOR MARKET.-Alld dried
fruits sell principally by color, which
should be bright; and to obtain the
same in apples and peaches, they
should be prepared for drying before
fully ripe. Sliced apples, if not bright,
do not pay for the trouble of slicing,
and the finest qualities should be
packed in new barrels, top and bottom
lined with paper. Bright quartered
apples, well colored, uniform i'm cut,
are always more or less in fair demand,
and more attention should be given to
them. Peeled peaches should be sliced
or cut in eights, and invariable of a
light color. Dark qualities rule low
and are slow of sale. Unpealed peaches
should be selected for halves, size being
a consideration in them, while the
smaller fruit is fully desirable to cut
for quarters. They should be kept en-
tirely separate. as when mixed they
will not generally sell at over the price
of quarters. Blackberries should be
particularly well dried, or they are
liable TO sweet or sour, and pack only
in new barrels. Cherries should be
packed also in new barrels OF about
equal parts, red and black mixed; and
syrup and sugar put on them detracts
from their value, as they sell at much
better prices, and are more desirable
when free from any such mixture. I'm
pitted cherries will hardly pay for
drying, the price ruling usually low.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02

To BoNE A TURKEY OR FowL.-Cut
through the skin down the centre of the
back; raise the flesh carefully on either
side until the sockets of the wings and
thighs are reached next disjoint and
bone, after which the whole OF the body
may be easily separated from the flesh
and taken out entire, only the neck
bones and merry-thought remaining.
The fowl may be restored to its original
form with dressing of bread or force
meat, or the legs and wings NAV be
drawn inside of the body and the fowl.
first flattened on table, covered with
force-meat, rolled tight and bound with
a tape. If necessary steam before
roasting. TO serve cold.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02

To DISCOURAGE rats that burrow
under walls, don't stop the holes with
broken glass bottles, which merely in
cite them to dig new holes, but put a
shovelful of dry sand over each hole.
The rats soon come up through this, but
in doing so let half the sand into the
burrow, which, unlike earth ,sthey can
not either force or carry up again, and
by repeating this at every fresh opened
place their runs become quite filled up,
and they make up your foundations
again.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02

WHITE MoUNTAIN-AsH CAKE One
pound of white sugar, one teacupful of
butter, one-half teacupful of sweet
milk, whites of ten eggs, one-half of a
small teaspoonful of soda, one teaspoon
full of cream of tartar, three cups of
flour; flavor with vanilla or almond.
Bake in jelly-cake pans, with icing and
cocoanus between.-Icing for Cake
One pound of fine white sugar, and the
whites of three eggs.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02

A GOOD HousEwIFE-Theg good house.
wife, when she is giving her house its
spring renovating, should bear in mind
that the dear inmates of her house
are more precious than many houses
and that their systems need cleans
ing by purifying the blood, reg
ulating the stomach and bowels
to prevent and cure the diseases
arising from Spring Malaria and Mas
ma, and she must know that there is
nothing that will do it so perfectly and
surely as Hop Bitters, the purest and
best of medicines. See other column.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02

A NEW CALAMITY.-Another great
calamity threatens the country. The
reporters are now gong in for this sort
of thing:
Reno: town in the far West.
A maiden.
A swain.
Here we have the elements necessary
for romance.
Cupid. Lights. Music. Dancing
Priestly words.
The maiden becomes a wife.
Years pass. Domestic joy. Children
are granted by Heaven.
A cloud-the size of mans hand in
the beginning-iD the end the firma-
ment of life is blotted out.
A demon enters Eden.
/, The demon is drink,
Blows.
Police Court
Michael Gilroony goes up for twenty
days.
Mrs. Gilrooney has a black eye.
Let us give the tribute of sigh and
a retrospective glance TO the maiden
that was.
Behold her now.
God help Mrs. Gilrooney,
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02
On onr Most Distant Frontier.

As in our busiest and most populous cities OF
the seaboard and interior, Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters Is pre-eminentiy popular. Wherever
civilization plants its foot on this continent,
thither the great tonic soon finds its way. Nor
is this surprising for it is the medicine of all
others best adapted to the wants of the West
ern emigrant, be he miner or agriculturIst-
1t is an Incompatible remedy for the diseases
to which he is most subject and which are IL
able to be brought on by change of climate.
hardships, exposure, unaccustomed air and
diet, and miasmatic atmosphere and water.
Among these are disorders of the stomach and
bowels, rheumatic ailments and malarious
fevers, for all of which Hoste,ters Bitters is a
certain specific. A course of the Htters before
departing for the new field of labor. or ON ar
irving, will have the effect of preventing the
evils for which it is such a signal remedy.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02

1r took three men. two boys and a
brindle dog an hour and half to drive
a sandy pig a distance OF two blocks
down to the Burlington ferry-boat.
When the wearisome drive was ended,
the dog was bit in three places, the boy
had sprained his ankle, broken two
windows by throwing stones at the pig,
one of the men was tired to death ana
the other two were drunk, and the pig
was two miles back from the river
going west, and sarcastically asking
people it met if they could tell it where
the Burlington ferry crossed the Mis-
sissippi.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02

The Combinations Of the Kaleidoscope.
some curious calculations have been
made OF the number of changes which
the Kaleidoscope is capable Of produc-
ing. Supposing the instruments to con-
tain 30 small glass, etc., and that you
make 10 changes in each minute, it
would require 1862, $50, ,S99, $40 years and
$50 days to complete the number of
changes it is capable of producing.
Even with II small objects, at the rate
of 10 changes a minute, it would con-
sumo 81 years and IL days to exhaust
its variations. These statements may
seem incredible at first, but they seem
incredible at first, but they have been
proved correct.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02

"SNG me, my own" he whispered,
lovingly, as they both sat down on the
one piano stool, sing me. oh, whis-
per what thou feelest.'" II will,
young man, | will" said the tremulous
tones of her papa, from the direction OF
the door. I'VE will sing it as duet,
you and L; will feel, and you can
whisper what it is" And then lie felt
for the boy with his feet, and went on
with unfeelIng Indifference. "And
you needn't confine it to whisper, ne
cessarily, in telling what you feel and
what it feels like. Give it voice young
man, give il voice.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02

1t ,couid appear that in plants it is the
leaf alone that is electromotive. In
the course of late experiments made by
DIR. Burden Sanderson he found that by
shifting the needle points to different
parts of leaves when one part was eX-
hausted, and would produce no effect,
other parts would, thus indicating
that the eXcitability of the plant is a
property possessed independently by
the prOtoplasm of every cell in the
eXcitable area.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1879-04-02
Advanced Physicians.

Many of the more advanced physi.
clans. having found DIR. Pierce's Fam
lily Medicines prompt and sure, pres
cribe them regularly in their practice
Twinville, Tenn,, May 2Sth. 1877.
DR.. r. V. Pierce, Buffalo, n. Y:
Dear Sir-For long time l suffered
with catarrh. 1 finally called in DIR.
Zachary of this place. He furnished
me with your nasal Douehe, Sage's Ca
tarrh Remedy, and your Golden Medi-
cal Discovery. These Remedies speed
lily effected an entire cure.
Yours Truly, JoEN s. CHAMLEss.