The Grant County herald. (Big Stone City, Grant County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1883, 1879-10-18
FEMINITIES.

A man and his wife can never agree
upon what constitutes a tidy looking
room; woman will grow irratlble when
she finds half dozen ar-stumps stick
ing to the scorched mantel- piece, and he
cant be expected to keep quiet when he
finds a bunch of long combings in his
shaving mug.
Mr.. Isaac Y. Green of Michigan ran
away with his wife's aunt recently. In
other words:
He ran away with his spouse's aunt,
And never again was seen,
Thus proving anew what a rare old plant
Is the Michigan !. Y. Green
1t makes mothers heart revert to her
young days when she comes into the par
Tor the next morning after her daughters
beau has been round and finds only one
chair in front of the re-place, and all
the Others sitting along by the wall as
if they hadn't been touched for three
years.
One of the saddest and most vexatious
trials that come to a girl when she marries
is that she has to discharge her mother
and depend upon her hired girl Troy
Times. But the saddest time for the
new-made husband is when the wife
dosn't discharge her mother, but takes
her home with her St. Albans Adver-
tlser.
A citizen went home from the caucus
one night and asked his wife. "Did you
commit an error or do anything out of
character before we were marrled?"
"Why no. What makes you ask such a
questions" "Oh, l didn't think you had,
but was nominated for town office to-
night, and knew if you had it would all
be out tomorrow.
Riding in railroad car-Husband:
You are quite comfortable, dear? Wife:
Yes, love Husband The cushions are
easy and soft, ducky? Wife: Yes, dar-
ling. Husband: You don I feel any
jolts, peti Wife: No, sweetest Hus-
band: And there is no draught on my
lamb, is there, ange2 Wife: No, my
ownest own. Husband: Then change
seats with mel
The sight Of a man wheeling baby car
riage in the street is not sign that the in
fant is weak, hut that the mans wife is
strong And yet if we were to Judge
from the amiable grin with which the
fond father, under these circumstances,
salutes every passing acquaintance, we
might eroneously suppose thst he was
really doing it Just for the fun Of the
thing.
An Old Joke III New Robe -
"Chawles, lanenidly drawcd Josephine,
looking up from her book, ~ see one Of
the studies at West Point is trlgonome-
try. What is trigonometry, anyhow"
'Trigonometry,S replied Charles, toying
with an invalid moustache, lis a-a-ls
the science of pulling the trigger, Of
course" Il thought SO, said Josephine,
resuming her novel.
The Mormon women say their husbands
are the brayest Of men. We believe it.
Here the man who ventures on treble
blessedness is regarded as a truly heroic
character, but there are no words to ex-
press the true estlmate of the man OF
whom ! 8 women are able to say he is a
darling and devoted husband.
A young man with the blush of coun-
try life sold out his produce on the mark
ct yesterday and entered shoe store and
said he wanted pair Of shoes for his
wife. 'What number." asked the clerk
The young husband scratched his head,
looked very much embarrassed, and final
ly said "Well, I've been married eight
months, but this shoe business stum.ps
me. don't hardly believe she wears
leyens, and | don't think she kin git
into fives. think if we split the differ
cnce We'll hit her pretty close He was
given pair of eights, and after squint-
ing along the soles, he observed Il guess
them II do; she's awful proud, and |
know she'll squeeze into 'em for all she's
worth !"
Capillary attraction in the soil-Mr.