Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1879-02-03
UNCLE ZEKE's LETTER.
STANsTILL, Janerwary the 20 ate, I
LIZ hundred & 70 n;na

MlStsr Eddstatr:: / hev bin thinkin |
fur kwite spell tibet wood rite yew |
letter & let yew no how am gittin err
long now dais, butt hev bin SO bizzy
tibet rally hev knot he'd mulch time tew
rite, & az mi eddicashun IL nothin tew
brag on & hev tew look in the dick.
summary tew kurrect mi spellin it il
kwite job fur me tew rite letter tew
an edditur. l hev knot he'd a CRATE deel
ov bizness ov mi own tew bender mi
ritin butt mi Majors afares hev gut tew
bee sene tew & am wun ov These self
sackrerfsin indusstruss individuals tibet
air reddy eny time tew let mi bizness
take cair ov its self while tend tew mi
Majors, & Sally (thats mi wife) SEE tew
me sum times, "Ezekill. dew wish yew
wood tend tew yer own bizness & let the
Majors aloan," but yew no, mistur eddi-
tur, tibet SIGH self-sackrerfsin induss-
truss individuoll az am kant dew this
& hev cleer konshunce, & then whot
staff ov things it wood bee did every
wun tend strickly tew ther own concarns
& knot look arter THAR nabors affares at
all! Wi things wood hev tew tern
clene summersett lawyer wood hev tew
shet up shopp s. go tew pedlin litenin
rods or paytent hens ness; & what Good
Sally Prim tawk about when she lled
on Mrs. Knoall if thay didn't dissfoss
Their nabor's affares, and how Good she
60 hum kontented & hev eny peece ov
mind if she didn't tel Mrs. Knoall tibet
Sam Jones went up tew the Wilder
Smiths last Sunday mite & stade til
nigh on tew middnite? She knows it's
so, for when she went tew bed she left
the kurtin up so she Good see when the
lite went out in the Widder's parlor, &
then Mrs. Stone rid doun tew the stoar
with Mistur Willums & thay didn't git
back til after dark, i shood think she'd
bee shamed huff ov it; what if Mistur
Stones boss wos sick? Coodn't she waite
til it gut wei? Guess she wanted tew
ride with Mistur Willums more'n eny
thing elise & SIGH coins on hev gut tew
bee sene tew buy sum wun or whot a
staff ov things wee shood hev! And
thare's Mistur Page, he's jest bort his
dorter hunderd dollor peeanner, &
il awl the time payin out mummy fur
fossfates & furturlisers tew put on tew
hiz farm & il byin jury kows & whot
he kalls bludded stock he seams tew
bee gittin long vel & pals hiz bills, butt
Efrum Shocks wife's sisters kuzzun sed
she didn't bleeve butt whot Their wos a
mortgage on tew hlz farm & she'd bet
thay'd hev tew sci tibet peeanner & them
jury kows tew pa Their diets. tel yew
mistur edditur, society woodn't bee whot
thay air if it want fur These self-sack-
rer6sin Industries individuoll tibet air
willin tew talk the heft ov Their nabor's
affares on tew Their own backs, & kant
tel whot wood happun if wee snood hev
tew negleckt our nabor's bizness tew
tend tew our own. Mistur Pryor sez he
bleeves if the foxes in Boston new how
mntch mummy our murohunts wer spend
in putin Advertisements in the noos-
papurs thay'd bee lookin purity sharp
arter whot thay wos OWN them, & he
bleeved if thay'd Civ SIGH fellers az him
plug er terbarker wunst in while tew
tel Their Majors tibet thay Good by stuff
ov them cheeper then eny WHARF elise in
the wurld, it wood bee CRATE deel bet
ter & cheeper then putin notises in the
noospapurs butt i hev gut tew klose
without ritin IL wantid tew fur Sally
CHATS mi wife) seq thares gut tew bee
sum appuls paired tew make sum pise
fur the minstur & hiz wife air kummir
termorer, & it wont dew tew git Sally
madd so think will klose, cos kan
help it. Yorn til deth,
EZEKILL PIPER,