Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1879-06-02
VAS BENDER HENsHPECKED

VAS BENDER HENSHPECKEDe
Any shentleman vot will 60 round pc
hind your face und talk in front of your
pack apout something's, vas shvindler.
I heared dot Brown says week pefore next
apout me I vas henshpecked huspant.
Dot vas lie De proof of de eating vas
in de puddings; | am married twenty
year already, und | vas yet not paid
headed. l don't vas oonder some petty
goats gofernments shtill I thinks it vas
peter if a feller will insult NIT his wife
und got her advices apout something's or
oder.
Dem American vomans don't know
something's nefer about her huspant's
peesness, und ven dem hart times comes,
und not SO much money comes in de
house, dot makes not some Inference
nit her. Shtill she moost have vone of
that pull -back-in- -de-front hoop-skirt-
pettygoats, NIT efery kind trimmings.
Pooty soon dat huspant gets pankrupted
all to pieces. Dey send for de Doctor;
und when de Doctor comes de man dies.
Den dot vomamans vas Obliged to marry
nit anoder mans vot she don't maype
like nit four or six shildren, on account
of his first wife already, und possobaly
vone or two modders-by- law-vone Sec
ond-handed und de oder shtepmudder-
outlaw. Den she says NIT herself, 81
efen wish dot l vas dead little
Now if Chermans 60 dead, don't make
pit of difference. Nopody would hard
ly know it, except maype himself. His
wife goes on NIT de peesness on shust
like noting has happened to somepody.
American vomans and Cherman vo-
mans vas different kind peobles. For
instinct, last year dot same feller, MIR.
Brown, goes nit me in de butcher pees-
ness togeder. He vas American man
so vas his wife. Veil, many time when
efery peobles has got the panic pooty
bad, dot vomin comes to her huspant
und says she mloost have money. Den
she goes out riding nit carriages.
Vonce on time Brown says to me,
BENDER, l wouldn't be henspecked." !"
So he vent off und got himself tight
shust because his wife tells him please
don't do it. Den he sits down on his
pack NIT de floor, und if l am not dere
dot time he never would got home.
Veil, dot night, me und my wife, We
had little talk apout something's und
de next tay says to Brown, '.Look here
vonst My wife she makes sausages.
und works in dot shtore; also my taugh-
ter she works by the shtore und makes
head-skeeses; und your wife vas going
out riding all de times NIT de horses
car, und patent tied-pack cadinal
shtriped stockings. Now your wife moost
90 work in de shtore und cut beefshteaks,
und make saurerkraut, or else We divide
not equally any more dot profits
"Vell, Brown goes home und he tells
his wife apout dot. Den she comes
pooty quick NIT Brown around, und We
had misunderstanding apout some
tings. in which eferybody took part,
including my little Kaiser. Pooty soon
up comes policemans und arrests us
for breeches of promise to keep de pieces
und assaulting de battery, or something's
Den de firm of Bender & Brown was
proke up. | go apout my peesness. My
wife she helps in de shtore. His wife
goes riding mid the horses cars, unt
efery nights she vas by the theater.
Vot's de consequences :? Along come
dot Centennial panic. Dot knocks Brown
more higher as two kites, py Chimminy
My income vas shtill more as my out
come. But Brown, he goes round do
streets nit his hands out of his pockets
und he don't got cent to his pack.