New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1879-08-27
The Horrors Of Perlhella.

His name is not Grim, as might be,
but Grimmer, which is properer; and
he lives in San Jose, Cal. He has pub
ished a pamphlet called $ The Voice
of the Stars" and most melancholy
voice it is. 1t sets forth the intolerable
things which are to happen in conse-
quenee Of the perihe1ia of the four
great planets, Jupiter, Uranus, Nep-
tune and Saturn, in 1880. or between
1880 and 1897 The effect of the APP
proach to the sun simultaneously of so
many great bodies, Grimmer says, will
be unspeakably disastrous to our own.
According to this San Jose astrologer,
among other pleasant results, !" Every
drop of water in the earth and above
the earth, and on the earth will be
more or less poisonous Then will
come seven sorrowful years. Ancient
races will be blotted from the face of
the earth. Fifteen millions of the i'm
habitants of America will die, unless
stringent sanitary measures are adopt
ed, as they will not be, for everybody
knows that they never are. Then will
come. storms and tidal-waves and lorna
does, with volcanic actions of the worst
sort; mountains and valleys will change
places, and "navigators grow pale
with alarm at the capricious deflexure
of the needle" The particularly ener-
getic way in which volcanoes will
belch forth their lava the suffocat-
ing fumes of sulphur which will escape
from the earth, the sudden disappear
ance of islands, including, perhaps, the
Island of Manhattan. with an unprece-
dented number of shipwrecks, will be
followed by fanaticism. bloodshed,
murder and robbery; while (remarks
Grimmer) "every one will be absorbed
In the trying task of keeping alive"
The poor will die by tens Of thousands.
The doctors will raise their prices; but
MIR. Grimmer advises everybody, when
those dying times arrive, to put no
faith in physicians, but to take
copious draughts of warm water, alb
stain from animal food, and wear COT
ton dipped in camphor in the nostrils.
Vhe pestilence will ravage until 1885,
and then will come fires which will
rage with fury until 1887. The sun
will discharge oceans of flaming hydro
gen gases. There will be tremendous
showers of meteors. Dense black
clouds will veil the sun for days. Blind
ing flashes of lightning will illumine
the somber sky. The flesh-eater and
alcoholic imbiber will 20 hand in hand
to the grave. Strife, discord, war,
floods, inundations-but enough! No
longer let us dwell upon the coming
catastrope!
The great Grlmmer, as q citizen of
California, is naturally disposed to let
off that State easily. It will be the last
and least sufferer from the most ma
lignant plague era the world has ever
known" The Pacific States" we are
told, evil be a veritable Paradise of
peace compared with the hellish strife
that will be waging throughout the
world" We see how it was. Grim
mer evidently was afraid of the Vigil
lance Committee, should he venture to
include San Jose in the general ruin.
He would have been waited upon by q
deputation of the most energetic citi-
zens, and compelled to revise his calcu-
lations. With one end of rope about
his neck and the other tied to some
convenient branch, Grimmer would
have been made to figure out nothing
but good luck and plenty of whisky to
San Jose from 1880 to 1888. He saga
ciously escapes his fate. He kills off
the rest of us, but he spares the Cali
fornians. What is there for us TO do
but to appoint All opposition Grimmer
of our own, who will deduce for our
comfort from ''the perihelia of the four
great planets nothing but health, pros
Perity and good time generally?-N.
Y. Tribune. -