The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1879-11-19
FEMININITIES.

Ewes first outfit was fall costume
Here lies "a gIrI as one forgotten, who
| lost her shape with the rise of cotton.
Young ladies DESTROYS of leading
lives of true inwardness," should
adopt two maxims-for the summer,
scream; for the winter, stir.
Many young lady is afflicted with
heart disease; it is not caused by
aneurism, however, but only by a
young man who parts his hair in the
middle
Some females have just been arrested
in Kentucky for the manufacture of
| Illicit whiskey. This is the first re-
corded instance of woman keeping
still.
Isn't that your friend, Nine c.,
who is dancing there?" eyes"
That's frightfully ill-made dress she
has on" Eyes, but if it wasn't it
wouldn't fit her.
''Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts which beat one -
Old folks abed-the lamp turned out
Oh, crackey wasn't it fun?
livery IduF WHO goes 10 the theatre
has perfect right to a wear high hat
The people behind her should have Sc
cured the seat in front. If they did
not she is not to blame.
A Boston woman cut her dress from
pattern in a magazine dated 1873 be-
fore she discovered that it wasn't 1879,
and it took three doctors to tide her
oUar thot lone IopoIv NIGHT
The only Jokes women like to read
are those which reflect ridicule upon
men," yes" says a contemporary,
ION taking up paper woman inva-
riably turns to the marriage column"
A young gentleman and lady who
were suddenly startled in their loving
talk by loud cough behind the door,
referred to their sudden agitation by re-
marking that they had two hearts that
beat like fun.
1t is said that a girl who can shed
three or four tears at critical moment
and follow them up with a quivering
sigh, can marry all around a cookbook
ing blonde who does nothing but tries to
blush
New York Herald A lady writes to
ask us for a poetical name for pic
turesque, tumble-down antique-looking
farm Call it Lalla ROokery. You
couldn't get Moore antique or roman
tic name than that.
A Boston lady lost a pocket-book
containing 500, and when an honest
little fellow returned it to her she was
so grateful that she gave him great
deal of good advice and didn't charge
him a cent for it.
Talk about woman being at loss
for an expedient. She's never at loss
for anything but man. If she's in
crowded street car and wants to scratch
her head, she simply changes the loca-
ton of a hair-pin.
Ebenzer Stone and his wife Flora,
out West, were divorced not long ago,
but afterward they came to an under
standing, were remarked and are now
happy together as far as we know. 1t
was a case of Eb and Flo, it would
seem; at any rate, they are tide now.
Arabella's admirer, tailor, has got
the mitten, all on account of his heavy
beard. Arahella said his hirsute face
didn't her suit in other words, her
sutton was hirsuiter than she fancied,
and it would suit her if he would press
his suit with somebody who was more
of a goose than she was.
''What is the difference between the
article a woman has in her hand and
woman herself as she steps ON peach
pairing while chasing her undutiful
son around the corner ?" was the simple
question he asked. s'It's easy !;
the one is slapping slipper, and the
other slipping slapper,' was his vol
untary answer, accompanied by the
sickliest grin ever witnessed.