The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1879-12-20
THE FOWL.

THE FOWL.
How TO CARVE Tbs CHRISTMAS TuEKEy.
1t makes no difference whether YOU tuy
turkey, goose, duck or chickan-the re
suit will be the same. In other words,
these remarks will be so shaped as 10 ap
ply to all manner of fowl having wings.
1t is better to buy the fowl asd pay for
il, but this advice is not intended to preju
dice any one from obtaining :heir chick
ems in the usual manner. Having secured
the fowl and baked or roasted it. it be
comes the duty of the head Of the family
tc prepare it for eating. Same people use
forty penny nails to spike the chicken
down to plank, and then do the carving
with buck saw, but there are other and
more convenient ways. Place the fowl
on the kitchen table. Attach a chain to
either leg, and make fast TO the legs Of
the table, or to eye bolts driven into the
wall. A third chain should pass from the
neck Of the fowl to the opposite end Of the
table. The victim is then in that condi
ton commonly known as "where he can't
wriggle.' If ropes are used instead Of
chains, they should not be less than an
inch in diameter, and If the best hemp.
1t is now question Of how you want
the fowl carved If company is expected
to dinner,it should be carved in way to
leave the fowl to the family and the bones
to the company. II it is for the family
alone the wish bone should be given to
the baby, while the head Of the family
should take the neck and be thankful that
that be has been spared to live anothe:
year. A fowl caryes up like clock work.
If one only knows where to begin. As
every man has his weak point, SO hath a
fowl, and there is nes use spending over
half an hour looking for it when the bal
ance Of dinner is waiting. Some men spit
on their hands before picking up the cary.
ing tools. They might as we'll spit on
the fowl. If carved with knife but lit.
tie preparation is needed. The carver
should remove coat and vest and secure a
firm grasp for his feet, and muscle and
faith should do the rest. There are csrv-
ers who seem to image that if they can
get under fowls wing the question is AS
good as settled-for the fowl. Such carv-
ers have not studied anatomy, either hu-
man or animal. You might as we'll ex-
pect to stop woman's tongue BY break
ing one Of her fingers Nearly all the
fowls have about sixty different bones in
their makeup, and you have doubtless
seen many which appeared to be all bone.
These sixty bones are the brick work, as
it were, for the remainder Of the fowl to
be erected on, and nature makes no mis-
takes. If you strike the right bone in
carving, the whole brick work gives way
in heap and the carving is only the woik
Of five minutes. If you don't you may
SAW away and jump up and down and
blast the man who sold it to you as long
as the table can stanl up u1der it. The
| man who takes an Ak to dissect we'll
cooked fowl is resortipg to brute force
| needlessly, and instances have been known
where the Ak slipped from fond fathers
grasp and killed sun jus. returned from
Yale College, polished boxer and oars
man. II the fowl has been fed on hoop
iron, buckshot and army overcoats, a
hatchet will still answer all purposes. A
man who will pull up his sleeves aud de.
hbsrately stab baked goose to the heart
deserves the contempt Of every human be-
| ing who doesn't go d fishing on Sunday,
aud he will receive il, too.
The fowl should be approached kindly
and without any outward evidence OF
trepidation, but a resort to undue violence
| is to be discouraged and frowned down BY
all lovers Of fair play. The vulnerable
point Of rhinoceros is under the fore leg,
bnt it does not necessarily follow that tn.
chicken should be attacked there. On
the contrary, the experienced carver will
avoid that locality altog ..ther aud begin
Illus, below the breast bone. Anguish
sometimes fills the breas, Of a human be
ling, but ii is the stuffing that fills the
breasts Of fowls, and if tightly prepared j,
/ will not obs,ruct the free use Of the knife
any. more than SO much saw dust would
Having thrust the knife in below the
breas, bone, seize the left leg in your left
hand. give pun ana so1l ol aSi.ales
yank at the same moment, and the star
board butwa,ks of the fowl ought to f.l
over .;gl,: in body, leaving the carver u
simply divide up the sections IN conye
nipnt pieces This ought to happen. l
/ it does not, the saw aud hatchet can ht
used, or the fowl can be blown mp viii
small but Elective cartri,lges Of gian
p,wd-r. The family which ptef.rs oyster:
to f.w! for Christmas dinner is not lonl,
lleytl.heal-d, but will need no carver ant
have no reasons why darkness should set
Ii g down over table upside down. and !
family fight going on in every room III th'
house. I'M Quar-, IN Chicayo Ledger.
/ Many a sweetly fotlne' mouth has b'e'
Ilisfyured and male hideous by t'is. fie',
,o.,,o. within II