Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1879-08-07
A Visit 10 the ,Suuires.

gossip and on dts of the day, are the
'Suuires' offices. They have, as gen
eral thing, less to do, more to say and
greater number OF idle visitors than any
other profession can boast. News con-
centrates there until their palaces are
the fountain heads Of items as well as
legal lore generally. They are good
natured set of gentlemen, and reporters
cultivate them. They are possessed OF
kind hearts and dogs are found always
about them. They are well read and
well informed, and youth loves to clust-
er about them and drink greedily OF the
stream OF anecdote and information that
pours with unceasing flow from their
lips.
The business agrees with most OF them
too. Spare men are exceptions to the
professions, and, emitting Philips and
Wheeler, all are supplied with the
"yood lat belly, capOn lined, asShakes-
peare hath it. They all smoke, but that
is the extent of their petty vices. \
more temperate set of men never held
an inquest or committed a witness for
contempt; indeed, so bitter is their an
tipathy To intoXiCants that one can
scarcely sit still during the hearing OF a
case of selling liquor without license, so
anxious is he tp hoist the offender high
er than Hannah.
But yesterday was an off day with
most of them. 1--WE are making money
hand over fist" said one, "but criminal
cases are mighty scarce" And so they
were, and to the StereOtyped cOnundrum
i'm reference to news the only reply was
something in reference to the heat or a
kindly suggestion to the reporter that he
looked as il he needed exercise. That
is always eXasperating, but the source
was considered and the insulters still
live.
Leander Mix was the first recipient of
our reportorial call, and from the bland
smile he wore something interesting
was coming. 1t is still coming, and so
is the millennium, but both are in the
DIM distance. The only thing he knew
was that the military justice on
Twelfth street shouldn't have the best
parlor while there was a cent in Richie
town.
Lorenzo ID. Wait was next reused
from his deep ponderings over his con-
templated work on "Wheeling Fifty
Years Ago" to cater to the public cray
ing for news. He offered to bet $50 he
could lick any professional brother in
town and that was all he knew, except
that it was his turn to fix up his bou-
doir.
James A. Wheeler was out fixing up
lumber contract and Constable Baird
was living fast asleep, while the flies
played billiards on his Uranium, as our
traveller glanced in through the door.
James NJ. Bulger. the Kaiser Wilhelm
of the 'Squires in appearance, wanted
information in place of giving any. He
was having his professional shingle
painted, and wanted TO know the abbre-
Walton for district. If the reader doubts
the correctness of a reporters informa-
ton, he can read the aforesaid sign,
which stands out as follows: "Dr's't."
Uncle j. William Schuitze, the father
of the South Wheeling Germans, was
found busily engaged in poring over
new work on phrenolOgy, a favOrite
branch of science with him since FOw-
ler's visit He insisted upon setting up
the Maccaboy and we took walk.
Colonel William Wallace Miller has
the most popular office in the city, and
it is an ordinary occurrence TO see four
teen men and three dogs cOngregated
about his door. Politics, science, re-
ligion and military affairs are there dis
cussed with a breadth OF feeling and
depth of intelligence truly wonderful.
The Colonel has the reputation of just
now pulling in more lucre than any two
OF his brethren. He was found pulling
away at a cob pipe, the picture OF con-
tentment and self Complacency, gave
the particulars of his solitary case, and
relighted his pipe with an ejaculation
and luciler match.
William Philips and William Henry
Caldwell, had been doing nothing OF
note Yesterday. The former was found
burving his ne: retrOuSSe in an exquisite
boquet sent by one of his many gentle
men admirers. He had no thoughts for
anything else.
The round was over and the result
ANYTHING but gratifying. One poor, lit
tie, forlorn, insignificant case, to all that
travelling. Our justices are no doubt
very valuable institutions and can bal
ance the judicial scales in a way that
might make Mathew Hale green with
envy, but for all the news they furnish
ed Yesterday, they might as well have
been poor common place mortals like
the rest OF us.