Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-04-25
Hawk-Eyetems.

President Hayes is bigger man than
Kearney. yet.
A Burlington blacksmith has just es-
tablished o conservatory Of horse
shoeing."
California has decided that it will not
secede. This is very good decision !;
for California.
"I am the candidate for eighty" as
the settler said when he located claim
for half homestead.
"Why not lay up something for
rainy day." asks an exchange. Because
we don't want any rainy day.
Judge David Davis is the only man
in America who isn't glad to see the
warm weather coming on again.
"This is too suddin," as the man said
when he stepped on piece Of soap and
fell hesdlong into the wash tub.
Colonel Ingersoll, ths Boston papers
announce, is writing q book on :" The
sword and fame" Isn't it swored,"
more likely?
The Cincinnati Sun last Saturday
went into total and eternal eclipse.
"Whom the gods love, die young" So
do squads, when devoted to table use.
A Chicago music teacher offers to ex-
change Emusic lessons for washing"
That is, he will trade the key board for
the wash board. Ira, Ia, Ia, laundry!
A discouraged Indianapolitan. de.
pressed by the gloomy weather, went
into railroad office and sadly asked
for a ticket to Ego and see Jomedska
in Jomeo and Ruliet."
Probably, if the bill had passed over
the presidents veto, and the Chinese
should be expelled, every tramp in this
broad land would start laundry the
next day. 1t is only probable ; it is not
certain.
They are going to erect monument
over the grave OF Pocahontas, at
Gravesend. England. Courage, George;
patience, Wash, patience the monu-
ment period is working down danger
ously close to your time,
1t is said that the presence of the
Chinese in California is Injurious to the
morals of the youth in that State. From
what the world at large has been told
by the California papers about the San
Francisco hoodlum, it can feel virtu.
ously certain that there is one class of
youth in the Golden State whose morals
cannot be injuriously affected by any
thing.
All the other papers have gone into
the prize question business. We can't
think Of propounding fifty questions for
our readers to answer, but we will give
them just one, that has puzzled us sore
ly for the past eight or ten years, and
we have never been able to answer it
satisfactorily yet. 1t is, as Esop re-
marks, " Unus, sed lyin'." A chrome
for the first correct answer" When
are you going to pay this little bill?"
Richard Cour de Lion was the most
stylish man in England, OF his time.
When he put on his tin helmet and cast
iron ulster, and q pair OF laminated
steel boots, and picked up club with
end, and set forth on crusade, the
fashionable society OF that day consid.
cred him just dressed to kill" And
so he was. And one time when he was
dressed up that way fellow killed
him.
The Indiana Legislature was working
industriously on the fee and salary bill,
cutting down everything, right and
left; the patriots were determined to
save the money of the taxpayer and
run the State on economical, business
principles if they had to sit up all
night to do it. BY and by member
got up and moved to establish the pay
of members of the Legislature at 81 80
q day: The house adjourned in ex-
actly thirty-seven seconds.
About three weeks ago q young man
from Burlington went up to Dubuque
and married rather elderly young girl
for her money. He got it, but was
rather disappointed when he found it
was oil in one dollar bills and he could
count it all over in twenty eight seconds.
without hurrying. He had intended
starting q wholesale grocery out in
Kansas City, after his marriage. AS it
is, owing to circumstances, it is unne-
cessary to make public, he remains in
Dubuque, and has accepted situation
as night clerk at lunch counter.
The pleasant story going the rounds
of the press, that certain wealthy Jews
Of Europe have purchased the land of
Palestine and are going to At it up for
the definite return OF that widely .scat-
tered nationality to the land of their
forefathers, 10 pronounced foundation
less fiction by competent authority.
But the slumbering echoes of the fa-
NOUS valley Of the Euphrates will be
walked up one of these days when the
English have built railroad down
through that section Of the east, and
the rehabilitation OF Palestine will come
along afterward in the natural course
Of events.
At an old settlers reunion the other
day, they were very anxious to sing
"Auld Lang Syne" before they parted.
The old song was accordingly an
nounced. The organist played few
notes, and then nearly one-haf the
audience struck up Mid pleasures and
palaces though we may roam,' some OF
the others shouted away on "Be Kind
to Thy Father" while the rest of them