The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-04-24

on the prairie, TOUR OF CnemW were SCanU-
ing on one, fighting each other. Friend
ship is a lovely thing while it lasts.
Damon and Pythias were model
friends. Damon didn't 20 around say
ing: ~ am a friend of Pythias, but l
am not blind to his faults" He was
blind to them. He knew there were
$4,000 men and women in Syracuse
who never mentioned his friend except
to say something mean about him. All
the more reason why he should never
say anything but good of him. They
Endorsed each others paper every
time, and when the cashier looked at it
and turned it over and looked at the
back of it, and smiled sadly and said he
guessed they'd have to have somebody
else on there before they could do any.
thing with it, they consoled each other
and said the cashier didn't know any
thing anyhow. If one of them got
drunk, the other one went on his bail
and paid his fine, and if he couldn't do
that, he'd sit beside him on the stone
pile and hold an umbrella over him
while the victim broke primeval rock
into pieces twcnty-eight inches square,
to macadamize Jefferson street with.
When Damon got a Is id'' to a ball or
wedding, Pythias would lend him his
swallow-tail coat, and when Pythias got
the "bid," Damon would fit him out
in his silk hat and white kids and cheer
fully stay at home. When Damon was
drafted, he cheerfully told Pythias he
might 60 in his place if he wanted.
And Pythias, with tears in his eyes,
asked him if he thought his friendship
was 50 mean as that? These men new
er had their pockets made so deep that
you could hide cigar six inches long
in any one of them.
How different from the evil days that
have fallen upon us now, when men
never carry but one cigar at time,
and bite the end off that for fear some
body will ask them for it.
When Damon, who was a red-ribbon
man, had the ague, Pythias used to sit
up with him all night, to take his Bit
tiers for him. And Damon used to lend
Pythias his razor to cut his corns with.
They borrowed money of each other,
and never quarreled about it. They
would play through long game of
croquet and never fight or call each
measureless liars.'' For nearly two
years they belonged to the same choir
and never had row. They used to
meet each other nearly every rainy
evening, up here at Darling's grocery,
and tell each other funny stories about
the neighbors while they browscd out
of the cracker barrel. They were al
ways careful of each others feelings.
Pythias had foot like snow-plow,
and his boots used to brighten the cat
tie, but Damon always professed to adj
mire it, and used to sigh and say, "Oh,
Pythias, if only had such a foot as
that I'd marry some girl that could
support me out of her own income"
But Pythias would smile and say he
was not proud, if nature had built so
much Of him on the ground that he al
ways felt like a land-grabber every
I time he stepped.
Such perfect friendship could not
exist without its trials. And the
browning test of this friendship came
when Damon got into trouble by being
so much better than his neighbors that
it was deemed necessary for the good
of the Commonwealth that he should
have his neck cut off. He didn't seem
to care very much about that, but he
wanted to straighten up his affairs be-
fore he died, SO that the lawyers
couldn't divide his estate among them
selves before the widow and the little
DamOns got smell of it. And then
he wanted to fix the property so that if
Mrs. Damon married again the step
father of his children couldn't raise a
dollar on it. And then he owed WASH
burn for pair of suspeniers, and he
owed DIR. Wilson $3.50 for pulling his
aunt's teeth, so that she couldn't talk
so much, and Pilgrim had been after
him with bill for six weeks. and he
owed Guest for trombone, and he
wanted to fix things up so they couldn't
get these bills out of the estate, for, he
said, if he could do that there'd be
some people mighty sorry that he died.
Well, he got everything fixed salts
factory, and started back in plenty of
time, if everything had gone right.
But the train wasn't much more than
out of town when the engine broke q
spring hanger and lost its exhaust.
Then hot ash pan made them lose
time ut every station, and they missed
connection at Ottumwa. Then the
conductor saw that Damon was travel
ing on somebody else's thousand mile
| ticket, and bounced him. Then he
rode on stock express part of the way.
He lost his baggage, and monte man
got away with his watch, and by the
time he got to Syracuse, N. Y, he was
mad enough to kick in the side of a
mountain. He got there just three
minutes before the execution, and too
late to get reserved seat.
Alright" he said, "give me stand
ing room on the platform"
So they gave him a nice place, right
where he had the DROP on the whole
crowd, and Pythias took back seat,
feeling his neck in very contemplative
manner as he went.
| "Damon," he said, and he looked
like a man who was telling the truth,
81 hope may die if amt mortal glad
to see YOU"
"And I'll be hanged" said Damon,
if didn't think I'd never get here. "
| Then he took off his collar and said.
cheerfully:
proceed with the ASCENSION
| just at that moment telegraph boy
came in and delivered a dispatch from
Gov. Gear, announcing an uncondition.
al pardon for Damon, and assessing all
the costs of the prosecution on the
plaintiff. Great Joy prevailed, and
Damon was about to leave the court
room, when the City Auditor stopped
him, and told him he would first have
to sign a receipt, for the pardon, and
"ten cents for the tag" Damon unsus-
pectingly signed the receipt, and dis
covered, to his unspeakable amazement,
that he had signed an order on the Cor
ham House for gilt-edged supper for
the entire lodge, which Immediately went
into short executive session, and soon
after adjourned some time the next
morning. -Burdette, IN Burlington
HdUk-Eye.
Tue following night incident in Paris
is related by the National: "a mys-
ferrous affair occurred few nights
| hock m tho Rou1ovor1 R;uoo,, 3, A. -