The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-07-23
A Prize Essay ON Woman.
nan came woman.


A Prize Essay ON Woman.
After man came womaB.
And she has been after him ever
since.
She is q person of free extraction,
being made OF mans rib.
don't know why Adam wanted
to fool away his ribs in that way,
but 1 suppose he was not account.
able for all he did.
1t costs mere to keep . woman
than three dogs and a shot gun.
But she pays you back with in.
terest-by giving you . house full
of children to keep you awake at
nights and smear mOlasVes candy
over your Sunday coat.
Besides, q wife is a very conven.
lent article to have around the
house.
She is handy to swear at when.
ever yeu cut yourself with . razor,
and don't feel like blaming your.
self,
Woman is the superior being in
Massachusetts.
There are about 10000 more OF
her sex than males in that State.
This accounts for the terrified,
hunted-down expression of the Elm
gle men who emigrste from the
East.
Woman was not created perfect.
She had her faults-such as false
hair, false complexion, and 80 on.
But she is q great deal better
than her neighbor, and she knows it.
Eve was q woman.
She must have been a model wife,
too; for it cost Adam nothing 10
keep her in clothes.
Still l don't think she was happy.
She couldn't go to sewing circles
and air her information about every.
body she knew, nor excite the envy
of other ladies by wearing her new
winter bonnet to church.
Neither coU'l che hang over the
back fence d gossip with her new
neighbOr. 7
All the blessed privileges we're
denied hef.
Poor Eve she's dead now.
And the fashion she inaugurated
is dead now.
If it hadn't been for the confound.
ed "snaik" perhaps the ladies Of the
present day would dress as econom.
ically as Eve did.
What a beautiful example in sim
plicity of dress is shown some of
the followers OF fashion by that de.
mestic animal, the cat, which rises
in the morning, washes it's face with
its right hand, gives its tail three
tremendous jerks, and is already
dressed for the day.
Woman is endowed with q tro-
mendous fund of knowledge, and
tongue to suit.
She has the capacity Of learning
everything she was divinely intend.
ed to know, and q few extra items
besides.
Young ladies' take . aOOd deal Of
stock in classics and learn fast.
When you see young lady stu.
dent from Vassar, with an absorbed
look in her eye, and her lips NOV.
ing, you understand at once that she
is memorizing a passage from Vir.
gil.
Bat perhaps . closer inspection
will reveal the fact that she is only
chewing gum.
A woman may not be able to
sharpen a lead pencil, or hold an
umbrella, but she can pack more
articles into a trunk than a man can
into a one-horse wagon.
The happiest period Of woman's
life is when she is making her we'd
ding garments.
The saddest is when her husband
comes home late at night, and yeIls
TO her from the front door steps to
throw out handful of keyholes of
different sizes.
There is some curiosity in femi
nine nature.
For instance, l once knew a young
lady who could easily pass another
one on the street without looking
around to see what she had on.
Poor thingi she was blind.
One of the worst habits q woman
can get into is q riding habit.
But it is not much worse than the
modern walking dress. which ladies
persist in wearing on the streets.
When q woman approaches the