Litchfield enquirer., 1879-05-01

your trowsers 2" ''Oh. go along, old woman 1! our folks are at the sewing circle working for the heathen."
 Two darkies were vaunting their courage. ''I isn't feared Q nothln', 1 isn't" said one
 Den Sam, reckon you isn't feared to loan me dollar ?" ''No, Julius, I isn't feared to loan you dollar, but does hate to part with an ole fren' forebber.'
 Dot Pinafore' expression vas noosance, |" remarkeda Teutonic gentleman, to a genial he speaks noding von blaine Anglish aber he gay: 'Vot, hardly, sometimes nefer" Vot kind of language is dose?"
 They tried to kill book agent at Omaha last week. He was robbed, thrown into the river, knocked of the cars, tossej of from high bridge into the river again, and in to hours he was around with an illustrated Bible, trying to get subscription from the head of the attacking party.
 A colored child had fall from second -sto- ry window the other day, and his mother, in relating the incident at grocery store, said: ''Dere dat child was a coming down feet fust, wid every chance of being killed, when the Lawd He turned him over, de chile struck on his head, and dere wasn't SO much as a button flew off"
 Extract from Young Lady's Letter. And do you know, Maud and are quite sure that Captain Popple had taken far too much cham and looked hard at the back of it and then muttered: 'Blesh my shoul 1 hadn't any idea it was that time O night"
 Sticking to It-''My dear," said a vain old man to his wife, ''these friends here won't be- 1inx1 hat ,1vy f1rf 4v,n old know Ispeak the truth, don't your" "Well," answered the simple wife, ''I suppose I must believe it, John, as you've stuck to it for fif- teen years"
 An Englishman was boasting to a Yankee that they had book in the British Museum which was once owned by Cicero "Oh, that ain't nethiu',' retortep the Yankee; Gin the museum in Boston they've got the lead pencil that Noah used to check off the animals that went into the ark"
 One of the School Board Inspectors asked small pupil of what the surface of the earth consists, and was promptly answered Land and water" He varied the question slightly that the fact might be impressed on the bSys mind, and asked, What, then, dc land and water make l" to which came the immediate response, Mud"
 Miss Susan King, of Harlem, N. r., recent ly saw the following advertisement in coun- try newspaper: 'How TO GET RICH. A Rare Secret.-send twenty-five cents to George Full lerton. box 413, Portland, Me" Prompted by curiosity she forwarded the money, and re- ceived the following reply: ''Work like the devil, and never spend a cent"
 A youngster at Keokuk residence where dancing party was held was taken off to bed xEo went through with his usual devotions, but his mind was more on the music than it was on heavenly things. The consequence was that he got the two mixed. and wound up his prayer rather hastily with: Dol bless ne f0' Kiste's sate and let me do down an hear zee fiddlers Amen."
 An exchange tells of an old farmer who hav- ing eaten oyster stew for the first time, sad: ''l like the soup pretty well but didn't like them pollywogs," That reminds us of the lt- tie story of the Heosier who lunched with "Old Hickory" when he was President Among other things there were champagne and olives on the table, of which the guest par took freely. When the lunch was about end ed Mr. Hoosier remarked: ''Gineral; that's mighty good cider, but---yeur pickles'
 The Count de w., in the mildest tone to his serVdhI: Josepn, you nave Deen urlnklng my rum again, and you have put water in it to make up the deficiency" 'I admit it. sir; but swear will drink no more of it." The Count de ", slightly elevatiug his shoulders "You always exaggerate 1 did not ask you not te drink it; only ask you not to put wa ter in what's left. For really, It isn't fair that you should drink rum pure and that I should drink rum and water
 Boneset Ritters are scientifically compound ed and contain the active principles of seven valuable Herbs, Roots, Barks &c., in every dayuse 3-3w