The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1879-11-27
FAcETiOUS ITEMS.
BY JOSHUA SHORT.

Not unfrclucntly is the fact demon
stratcd that the fist is mightier than
the tongue.
A vulgar aud unpoetic punster COM
pares Bingen to side pork, because ITS
exercise-Iluggingo ones
| sweetheart.
1t is said that Il certain English ac-
tress is Il Miss Terry Ia everybody but
her husband. Chalk down two points
| for Us.
Suggestion to dramatic managers
Wouldn't Sitting Ball and Il few Of his
followers make Bully travelling com
bination
An eastern paper mentions that they
have Il very superiorcivi! engineer In
this one respect they ieai the West.
| We never had or expect 10 have a civil
Ingin here.
First class actors always have IL lac
supported. Sscoli elias, oaeS general
IL support Others. Thu- anon. them
selves do actors manage To keep OF the
town.
Stand firm We hosteSses an ! LEI not
your rooms, with hoarl, t. nice youn-,
men who NAV apply. They are now
on the war-pith with those of Il more
common class of entcrprisiny Young
men who take Il meal before putting
the coal down celiar-:hcn apparently
forget all about the coal.
"Come into the garden George" il
played out. George went into the gar
den, was chased by fierce dog. trip
ped up by trailing vine, sworn al by
I q, Il
skin scratched Off his sinus bv tumb-
ling over wheel-barrow. No more
garden for George.
National Trust Companies are not
formed for the purpose of trusting peo-
pie but to induce people To trust them.
We announce,thi> with a philanthropy
ic will taking into consideration that
the mere appelation of said co'npan-
les may be the sad cause of leading
many astray. Nay, we ask not tcrrcnc
honor or reward. May this good deed
be registered with our many Others up
| above.
People that pick their teeth i'm "A
fir>t-class hotel waiting-room. are. o--
tensibly, stopping at that aforemen-
toned hotel, when, in fact they are
just As liable to be putting up at AN cS-
tablishmelt of a far inferior class, and
appear at and n above mentioned EN-
ployed for a vain, ambitious cause.
When a man fails in business he j.
apt to receive all the SYMPATHY due his
creditors.
The most fair of girls are sometimes,
aye, frequently, well wemay SAY most
yes. always. u,-fair, though fair i'm the
eve, with fellow at a church fair.
We have noticed this.
"Will you let me alone ~ MOI being
a Trustworthy man the banker turned
and left him. Apparently he Was de-
sirouS of letting him alone.
a fellow that .'-tumpei" another
for fight. directly afterwards climb
ed tree To avoid the encounter with
the challenged one.
Sixteen people in keokui>. Iowa.
were severely poisoned by eating ice
cream IL is getting rather late. we
know, but Young men will do well Ia
show this To their girls. 1t may do TO
refer TO next year.-ENchange.
'Twould avail nothing. the girls
would take into consideration that this
was merely enc case out Of millions,
and tell their fellows what superb
cream johnson. the re>tau ra'eur. keeps
Already have We achieved Gotci sue
cess as a poetical parayrapher. bat il
saw-horse could be male Ia rhyme
with jayhawkcr, We could get a SPLEEN
did note of on Iay Gould that would
far sarpas- all previous efforts.
Prof Tice never made but one true
prediction that we remember Of, aud
that was last Summer during our very
! warmcst weather. when he said our
hottest spell l. yet To come This pre-
dtcrSon we have every rea>on 10 be-
| lieve true, a.. all our preachers tell u
so too
Felt is good material for nianlfact
uring halls Of. bl; of course. ii would
not do for striped stockings
| Comparing afrue friend la post,
age sta,hp. i somethin. entirely orig
inai with us and extremely beautiful.
| ! postage stamp will stick 10 an envel-
op containing u mere friendly commit
niexation, as we'll as Que containing a
l draft on New York for 500.