Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-01-08
Numerous.

Numerous.
It's good artist who can draw pay
Lynn Reporter.
Bees wax wroth before they sting
Nee0 Orleans Picay1nae.
misunderstanding the sculptor
Boston Bulletin.
Winter is the season best suited to
freeze speech. -New York Mail.
Mary had little lamb. It was roast
ed and she wanted more.-New Orleans
Picayune.
The Albany Journal speaks of a
couple of tramps with hearts that dead
beat as one. }.
This is a good time for bashful young
men and maidens to break the ice
Ne,U York Commercial ADVERTISER
Clocks on ladies' stockings cause
feeble-minded gentleman to watch
them.-Bostom Transcript.
If two inhabitants of Portugal are
called Portuguese, would it be proper to
allude to one Of them as Portuguese
Utica Observer
In some parts ofEurope the minister
of the parish acts In the capacity of a
dentist-a cure for toothache, as it
were.- Cincinnati Saturday Night.
You may break, you may shatter the
hive if you will, but if you get off with
out puncture Or two you'll be thund-
erin lucky Yonkers Gazette.
eli every man is the architect of
his own fortune" the most of them had
better abandon architecture and go to
saving wood.-Bmghonatou Republican,
A mules head does not contain a
brain capable of culture and refined
rearing, but it is wonderful to what an
extent the other end of him can be
ared.-Ne,O York Nail.
Unmarried men can't appreciate the
feelings Of a fellow whose wife sends
him to get something out of the pocket
Of the dress that's hanging up in the
cioset.-Lynn Reporter.
A charming young thing at New
York school examination. in reading,
her exercises before large audience
of parents, changed Keats line, "a
thing of beauty is a boy foreverw
The human race is less liable to be
won in canter than lost in decanter.
Now we expect half Of the population
will rise to point of order, and order
us to bottle up.-New York Neus.
A bray sing air-The voice of tn don
key. We presume the caves Of the
ocean are mostly salt rheum. When
you come to a guide-board that is lille
gible, that is ga bad sign" -Bosto1e Conn.,
mercial Bulletin.
One of the most delicate bits of
humOr in the Bible is Hosea's descrip-
ton of Ephraim as "a cake not turn,
ed" The prophet didn't want to hurt
Ephraim's feelings by calling him
half-baked." -Neo0 Haven Register.
"Two mouths with tut single stew,
two spoons that dip as one" as the
young man remarked to his dearly
beloved after giving his economical
order Of " one stew, two spoons"
We no longer question the propriety
Of considering vessels IN the feminine
gender. They run each other down al
most every day in the English Channel.
Turner'S Falls Reporter.
Silas. wharfo dye s'pose de shefer1s
of de Olden times washed dere frocks in
de ni'time?" "Is yer sho dey did
Nose" Why, corse. dom de Samis
say so" "Well, den l guess mus e,
been cause dere was only one frock
apiece an dey didn' want to be too con
spikerous while dey was IA washin' OF
it. y Yonker's Gazette. ...
An old colored preacher in Atlanta
Ga, was lecturing a youth of his fold
about the sin Of dancing, when the lat
ter protested that the Bible plainly sail
"There's time to dance" Eyes; dal
am time to Dance" said the dark di
nine; and it's when a boy gets viii ,
PIN for gwine to ball."
r First Small Boy" Hullo, jim! I've
got two-bladed knife and book full
O picters." Second S.B.-"Pooh! That's
nothing. I've got a four-blader and two
books and a bully sled and pair o
skates and" First S. B." Look a
here, you Jim Smikins, my pa can lick
your pa, and, durn We, can lick you
Yer'd better don't be BLOWN round me
ole Teller. "-Boston Transcript.
A lady in Lima, N. Y, who lately &C
cidentally broke the handle from china
cup, rashly exclaimed that she wished
none of them had handles. Later OF
it became necessary for the servins
maid to explain matters, and she pro
ceeded to do so by saying Indade
marin, and yes said ye'd prefer to hey
the hanthels all off, and We see have
done it rale noice."
Hosts of People are Martyrs
| 70 sick headache, that infaEible symptom of
| disordeTed stomach, liver ald bowels. Man.
suffer from it as many three or TOUR times
week. They do SO needlessly, for Rsstetter'