, 1879-02-02
JUDICIAL JUGGLERS.

A Farce by I. Wunderhoo.
| Persons Represented,
The Hon. Thomas NoddY Judicial Manipu!ator
Policemen. Old Women, Confidence Men, Cam
biers, Prisoners, Citizens, Constabies, Lawyers
scene.-Ncighborhood Of Firaman street, Lake
City.
Scene 1. Court of Judicial Manipulator.
Eater Constablcs, Old Women, Policemen,
Prisoners, and Citizens.
First Old Woman-Shure I was touid sum.
] MONIES was only pharty-foive cints, and mas
iist afther payin dollar in advance.
Second O. W.-Bad cess to the law innyhow,
and didn't Oi pay dollar an fifty cints for au
i1icution, and Dlnny said twas only twinty-
foivc cints.
Ancient Mick-Bejabers and Oi have New
foundland dog phat has more sinse than some
Justices has law.
Judicial Manipulator-H the Constabies can't
Keep order and put out those creating disorder
will ask the citizens to put out the Constables.
[Constables look at each other and wink 3
wicked wunk, and dilapidated hangers-on sum-
mon into requisition weakly smiles Us they
would have done ina har-room had the proprl-
First Policeman -plazeyerhonor, this man was
dbrunk and di6horderly in the strate at an un-
seemly hour ov the night.
Prisoner-Shnre yer Honor, it wasn't meseH
Paddy Monahan's widdin and took dhrap too
much.
J. M.-Tn give you hundred days to get
Yourself in condition to attend another wedding.
fExeunt First Policeman and Prisoner.
Second Polceman-Yerhopor,t this woman fsa
notorious kcracter, and Oi're siveral tonnes
thried to in1ooence her to keep off the strates.
Prisoner "a girl Of II or Is and OF rather
prepossessing appearance)- )-Oh, II you will let
me 20 this time you never will SCENE here
again. It was poverty that drove me to it.
ing about nights. 500. lExit Policeman and
sobbing grill
Scene3 Sidewalk in front OF C ourt-room-
Enter Gamblers and Confidence Men.
First Gambler-Hello Jack; watts up:
First Confidence Mau-Got pinched last hight.
First Gamb1er-Out on baila
First Confidence Man-Yes. Trial to-day.
Second Gamblcr-Jury!
Second Confidence Nan-You bet.
First Gambler-What Constable has the
vcnlrcs
Second Confidence Man-Oh, that's all right.
[Exeunt all to some saloon for drinks.l
ACT II.
Scene l. Any saloon in the vicinity.
Euter Constable, who Winks to several hang
on the street, where they loitcr until Constable
meets them and goes through form OF reading
summons to them. EE1cunt ali to court
room.l
Scene 2. Courtroom.
Enter Constables, detectives, confdence-men,
gamblers, lawyers, jurors, and citizens.
First Lawyer [aside to Coustable]-Is it all
right! lCoustable winl1s, and the jury Is sworn.
Several arc objected to, others take their places,
and trial begins
First Gamoler-Bet You $40 note Jack il
acquitted.
Second Gamb1er-Too thin. Know all about
these matters. I'll bet you note they are not
out ten minutes.
First Ga1ubler-You want too soft thing.
First Citizen-That Brown has been on jury
here for three consecutive days.
Second Citizen--That is nothing. Smith has
been on three days to my knowledge.
First Gambler-There they 60. E1eunt
urors.J
Scene 3. Courtroom.
Enter jury after an absence Of four and one |
3aIf minutes, and deliver verdict OF not !
rnilty. Constable pays them SO cents per head. !
5xeunt gamblers, confidence men, jurors, Con- |
;table, and lawyer for the drinks.
Detectiye-What is the use Of arresting any !
me? They will take q change OF venue, call for /
jury trial, and an acquittal naturally follows.
Prosecuting Attorney We'll, how is it to be
elped, that is an everyday occurrence.
First Citizsn-Put the right man in the right
lace Appoint for Justices men who would at
east aba.e some Of the abuscs-
ExeUnt 0mncS.