The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-07-25
QUIPs.

FINE clothes do not make the man
until they are paid for.
WHIRLED without end: The waters
OF Niagara into Lake Ontario.
No IRIsHsIAN has a sinking of the
heart so long as there's bit of Cork in
him.
DOES stolen hen lay poached eggs?
Brooklyn Chronicle. Dunnoi If
you buy hen, does she lay buy.led
eggs?
A FRENCH newspaper, the other day,
had the following heading in its police
intelligence Suicide of two persons:
statement of the one that survived"
IT seems remarkable that nice easy
chair at home is SO much less comfort
able to man than the hard side of a
dry-goods box on street-corner with q
crowd of loafers around.
AN exchange hastens to inform us
that Queen Victoria drinks her tea out
OF saucer. Glad to hear it; always
supposed she took up the teapot and
drank out of the "nose."
"PAPA, they don't have any stone in
Ireland, do they?" asked little boy,
the other day. Eyes, my boy; but why
do you ask such question ?" BE
cause, papa, thought it was all sham
rock over there"
SWELL: "Oh, Robinson, am not at
all satisfied with those trousers" Shop
keeper: Indeed sir! Sorry to hear
that. We made 'em to measure. tool.
Swell: "Yaas. But, you see, didn't
want them to measure-I wanted them
to wear!"
A WITTY lady was once told by gen.
tleman of her acquaintance that "he
must have been born with silver spoon
IN his mouth" She looked at him care
[ully, and, upon realizing the size of his
mouth, replied: Il don't doubt it; but
L must have been soup-ladle."
THERE is story that man went into
Newburyport liquor store and called
or two quarts of rum, protesting that
was for the purpose of soaking some
cots. After the delivery of the liquor
he dealer inquired, what roots? ?"
Ihe roots OF my tongue" said the man.
A PARTY of Irishmen went to cloth
ng store to buy suit of clothing in
Which to bury dead comrade. Ali va
letles OF garments We're examined and
discussed by the mourning friends but
one could be decided upon until one
+ the party held up light thin suit, saw
ng, by CORA, let's take this, b'ys, it's
MN and cool, and poor Pat will find it
nightly comfortable"
A MARKET man was mercilessly swim
led In the town of B, His mis-.
'rtune gave him a very unfavorable
plnlon OF the residents, and he ex-
ressed his opinion of them by saving
lat II the Angel Gabriel stopped at
r there would be no resurrection.
Why?" asked a listener. Because
e people would swindle him ont of
s horn before he had time to blow a
ngle toot."
DR. THOMSON, taking once for his
xt, LOOK not upon wine when il is
q IN the cup" enlarged upon the evil
ects OF drinking upon the head, heart
q purse. As the congregation de-
rted, two old cronies, given to taking
IRE than wee drap," talked over the
mon. Did you hear yon, Johnny?0
9th one. did hear t? VIVA didn't
ar t? 1 ne'er winked an e'e."
weel, an what thocht we o't?n
deed, David, think he has been a.
In his day, or he couldna ha' ken'd
weei aboot it; he's been sly hand,
minister"
BEFORE the Cadi Mehammedan was
ught up for burning down a Chris
rs house. Where Is the complain
Z" May our souls be sacrifice.
he is in the other worldl He was
ned with his house," "The Koran"
the magistrate, provides that
re the complainant is unable to ap-
r, II his abiding place be known the
'rlt shall be taken there and con-
ted with him. In the present case
piaintltf does not appear and is
wn to be In the next world. Let
law be executed-ditto the prisoner"