Litchfield enquirer., 1879-10-23
CLIPPINGS.

The railroads are bringing in great quanti- ties of game especially eiIchre. ~
 Mans clothes are of his life thing apart,
 they're woinan's whole existence.
 A rumor comes from Paris that bonnets are to be worn on the head hereafter.
 Nc, matter how much candidate itches for Iaoffice, he never likes to besscratched e q F A philosopher remarks that man may SOW
 his wild oats, but he never can SOW his corns Es 'What is marriage ?'' re.gys. Tsg yEgcs #
 7 SOne woman the moro. and one man the less."ri I9.fG'E E7rr EE-s W5 {
 The Utes object to being civilized and the
 white men on the border object to being
 Utelized. g. r IT, 7-.-. .tsr0 7
 The Chicago Journal thinks there is little to much August stirred into this October weather.
 A West Virginia man started cemetery in order to prevent new railroad crossing his l land. -> -. ..s
 Pinafore is degenerating-it Ralphs are winning to themselves the sobriquet of Sing bad the salor.'
 1 If we may accept literally the scriptural 1 teaching, then the fool of the present will be the fuel of the future.
 l A recent obituary notice says: 'Mr. Smith was an estimable citizen. He dIed with per feet resignation. He had recently been mar | ried :" za
 Twill you have some more beans, Johnny. l 'No."tNo what ?" No beans, says Johnny, 1 solemnly pretending not to understand what 1 is desired. Mother Every sweetly) to children who have l just had distribution of candy '.Whatdo children say when they get candy p Chorus; More ]"
 'Bedad! Look at the baste, wid his two l toothpicks stickin' out CT his mouth !" was how the first sight of an elephant affected Bridget Mudoon.
 | The worst case of selfishness on record is | that of youth who complained because his mother put larger mustard plaster on his younger brother than she did on him.
 Iris comforting to reflect that we will not be annoyed by what is said of us, when the un- dertaker juggles with the livery stable man about the price of extra carriages.
 Singing at camp meeting at Abbeville, s. O., was heard five miles. Unless the praying was heard good deal further than that, the camp-meeting was not much of success. 
 College student, in rendering to his father an account of his term-expenses, inserted: ''To charity, thirty dollars" His father wrote back: Il fear charity covers a multitude of siuS." .|... | A choice bit ot tomb stone literature l Under this sod my babie lleS; it neither cRies nor HollErs it Lived JustT twenty days And cost us $40. ~
 A Milwaukee girl suffering from lockjaw was left alone with mouse by the shrwed physician, and she contrived to open her mouth enough to give yell that made the crockery in the china-closet rattle.
 Old Mir. Hazlett, of Oregon, thought he was going to die, and in order that his heirs should have nothing to quarrel over he burned $22,- 900 in greenbacks. He didn't die, after all. and now when the heirs see him saving wood to earn his bread they naturally feel that they are ahead of him.
 "Go to the devil !" muttered a Center street lawyer to bead beat who entered his office and requested the loan of nickel ''Thats what the man next door told me. Good morning, yer honor." And his honor hasn't decided yet whether the rejoinder was intend ed for personal application.
 very dangerous ?" Boy-"Werry dangerous, indeed, marm; there was lady ridin' up here last year, and the donkey fell, and the lady was chucked over the cliff and killed" Old lady-'Good gracious was the donkey killed, too?" "Boy-"No, marm; that's the werry donkey."' ess $. They were courting.-"What makes the stars shine so dim tonight ?" she said softly Your eyes are so much brighter" he whis- pered, pressing her little hand They are married now. II wonder how many tele- graph poles it would take to reach from here l to the stars" she said musngly. "One, If it l was long enough, <" he growled. "Why d0n't 1 you talk common sense?"
 Patient-Do you mean to say my complaint l is dangerous one Doctor-A very danger ous one, my dear friend. Still, people have been known to recover from it ; s0 you must not give up all hope. But recollect one thing your only chance is to keep in cheerful frame of mind and avoid anything like depression of | spirits
 A green young man saw for the first time a school girl going through Some of her gym nastic exercises for the amusement of the little ones at home. After gazing at her with looks okintcrcst and commiseraton for while, he | asked boy near by, Has that gal got fits ?" "No," replied the lad, eOntemptuously, ''that's gymnastics" :" ''Oh, 'tis, hay" replied yer dant ''how long has she had lem ?" | A congregation, anxious to get rid of their pastor. were considerably perplexed how to do 1 it without hurting his feelings After consid- erabe discussion they concluded to inform him they were obliged to reduce his salary. A delegation was appointed to wait on him and notify him of the fact. "Brethren," was his | reply, Il have been with you in prosperity and will never desert you in diversity" | Miss Calino goes for the first tune to view the sea at Dieppe. At her departure for home her sister recommends her to carry back some sea water i: bottle. She goes down to the shore and fills her vial with water. ''Better not fill it up like that, missy" said sailor, ''bekase it being low water now, when the tide rises it'll burst your bottle" Miss Calino, quite convinced, pours out half the water and departs. ee | Gorgeous swell, who has just entered the restaurant-''Ha! waitaw, where's the carte, aw-the menu? An, very well. Wine list, i eh? Is the Chateau Margeaux to be relied on, waitaw?" Walter-''Yes, sir; yes, sir" G. S.-''Not so bad bill of fare 1 sec you've got quail on toast and perigord pie. Are they
 nndeniable ?" Waiter-'Best in the city sir '"
 aha cup of coffee." ExIt waitvr ia a dis,
 gusted procession of one
 A good country parson preached a series of
 sermons on practical morality, and very inter-
 esting and instructive they were. A lad in the
 village who had heard only one of them was
 coming out of an orchard one day, his pockets
 bulging out with stolen fruit. He met the
 parson, who noticed his efforts to conceal the evidences of his guilt Have you been steal- ing apples2 asked the minister ''Yes, sir," answered the boy, sheepishly. "And you are trying to illde them from me ?n continued the