The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1879-05-02
A Big Mistake.

q
lister. He is a nice, good, sociablc fe
low, but from a distant state. or cours
he was totally unacquainted with OH
people. Therefore il happened tha
during his pastoral calls he made sew
eral ludicrous blunders. One of then
as follows:-
The other evening he called mo-
Mrs. Haddon. She had lust LOST he
husband, aud she naturally supposc,
that his visit was relative TO the sad oc
currence. So after n few common
places had been exchanged, she wa
not at all surprised 10 hear him remark
1T was sad bereavement, was i
not, Mrs. lIaddon?'
Yes ialtcred the widow.
"Totally unexpected. -
"Oh, yes; | never dreamed of it,"
"lle died in ille barn, suppose
"Oh, no; in the house"
"Ah well. ! suppose YOU must hav,
thought n good deal of hm?''
cor course, sir, tins with vim.
The minister looked rather SURPRISED
crossed his legs aud renewed the CON
lversatiou
"Blind staggcrs was the disease,
believe" he said
"No sir" snapped the widow. "apo-
plexy."
"lndeed! You must have fed him
too much"
"He was quite capable of feeding
himself, sirr'
every Intelligent lie must have been.
Died hard, didn't hep
| ole did"
"You had to bit him on the head
with an axe 10 put him ont of misery,
was told"
Mrs. IIaddon's eyes snapped fire.
"Whoever told you so did not speak
the truth" she haughiily uttered.
"James died naturally"
"Yes," continued the minister, in a
slightly perplexed tone. "IIe kicked
the side Of the barn down in his last ag-
onies, did he notY'
ono sir, he didn't"
"Well, | have been misinformcd. L
suppose. How old was her'
"Thiriy-fve."
"Then he did not do much active
work. Perhaps you are better without
hlm, for you can easily supply his place
with better one.''
"Never, sir--never will see so good
one as he."
".Oh, yes, you will. He had the heaves
bad, you know"
"Nothing of the kindr'
"Why, l recollect l saw him, one day,
with you on his back, and l distinctly
remember that he had the heaves. and
walked as if he had the spring-halt."
Mrs. Haddon stared at her reverend
visitor as II she imagined he was crazy.
"Ile never could have had the SPRING
halt, for he had cork leg i" she return
ed.
ga cork leg gi-remarkable. But real
ly, now, didn't he have a dangerous
trick of sudden stopping and kicking a
wagon to pieces?"
"Never; he was not mad, STRIP
"Probably not. But there were some
good points about him. The way in
which he carried his ears, for example" :"
"Nobody ever noticed that particular
merit" said the widow with much as
perity; "he was warm-hearted, gener-
GUS and frankr'
"Good qualities" answered he, un-
consciously. GLOW long did it take
him to go mileY"
"AbOut fifteen minutes,
"Not much of goer. Wasn't his
hair apt to flyw
ole didn't have any hair. He was
bald-headed."
"Quite curiosity"
"No, sir; no more of curiosity than
YOU are"
The minister shifted uneasily and got
red in the face. But he returned 10 the
attack.
"Did you ever use the whip on him."
"Never, sir"
"Went right along without il, eh?">
eyes"
"He must have been good sort of
brutew
Mrs. Haddon turned white and made
no reply.
The minister did not know what TO
say but finally blurted ont:
"What l most admired about him
was the beautiful waggle of his tall"
The widow just sat down and cried:
"The Idea of your coming here and
insulting mel" she sobbed. "If INV
husband had lived you wouldn't done
it. Your remarks in reference to that
poor man have been series of insults.
| won't stand it,"
lie colored and looked ddumbfounded.
/ "No, no." she cried.
"Ain't you Mrs. Blinkers?'' at last he
stammered, land has not your gray
horse died?"
81 never owned a horse, but my hus-
band died week agoi"
Ten minutes later the minister came
out of that house with the reddest face
ever seen on mortal man.
"And to think" he groaned as he
strobe home, "that l was talking horse
to that woman all the time, and She was
talking husband"