The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-10-02
OBJ adelImatou Gnterprise.
J. W. HoUGHTON, Publisher.
WELLINGTON. :. OHIO.
VARIETIES.

Jonah is reported to have been the
first man who struck oil.
-" Beats the worlds tramp
Philadelphia Sunday Item.
Hogs may be planted in any kind
of soil; they take root anywhere.
The first fruit of marriage is the
apple of its parents eyes. when it isn't
a pear of twins.-M Y. NeUs.
"a charge to keep 1 have" he re-
marked as he glanced at doubtful
item on his Acknowledgements Times.
Tommy: "Gimme cake. :" Mamma:
"lf whatP-lf you please" 90. let
up on that Pinafore' businessi gimme
a cake"
Much charity which begins at home
is too feeble TO get out doors, and much
that begins out doors never gets into
the home circle.
"A facetious old lady, describing the
rambling sermons of her minister, said:
"If the text had the small pox, his ser
mon would never catch it. ----
Beauty and booty" says White
hall young man, :. is all right except
when the daughters beauty is accom-
panied by the old mans bootee."
by their fruits shall ye know
them" was written long before the
small boy carried home spples in the
leg of his trousers.-N. y Erpress.~
Argument is great deal better
than abuse, but you can't make a citi-
zen believe it when he goes out in the
morning and finds his clothes-line gone.
Free Press.
1t is a singular fact that man whe
is second in command at home wants
to rule the whole creation when he gets
outside his yard gate.-Middsetoscn
Transcript.
When Norfolk people fail to have
loaned umbrella returned they adver-
tise for its recovery. No wonder the
town has four newspapers--Danbnry
Ne,os.
Compositions small boy
"We've got q nicer dinner than you.
We've got a guinea hen. Yahr
Second small boy" And we've got a
guinea pig. Yah"
Those tie back dresses didn't take
enough cloth to satisfy manufacturers
and retail dealers, and SO they have
clubbed together and brought hoops
into fashion again.-Free Press.
"A young lady's hat blew off Satur-
day morning and was run over by a
broad-wheeled cart. The ribbons were
somewhat soiled, but the hat is now the
very latest fall shape Norristoton
Herald. t u
The fact that virtue is its own re-
ward' is perhaps the reason why peo-
pie abandon it for something that brings
more tangible recompense. Let us
have Proverb Reform Association
Boston Post.
"A young woman applying for the
situation as teacher to a village school,
being questioned by the Trustee as to
her qualifications, replied, 81 amt
elegant grammarist."
1t was an unfortunate mistake of
the compositor to put under the head
line " Reduction in the Price of Cas-"
the statement that Mr.. receives
only fifty dollars for lecture, now, in
stead of a hundred as formerly.
There will be five Sundays in next
February. Think of so much Sunday
night bliss in the shortest month. But
then this won't happen again in forty
years. Let the old gentleman remem-
Der this and be hopeful when he lays in
the winter coal supply.-N. 7. Erpress.
Willie, aged ten. and Jenny, aged
six, were playing together. One of
them was minutely examining q fly. al
wonder how God made himr' he ex-
claimed. "God don't make flies as
carpenters make things" observed the
boy. "God says, let there be flies, and
there is flies" .....-
"A pretty, blue-eyed maiden, who
was nursing her fifth Christmas doll,
and listening to her mother and some
female friend talking about domestic
broils and divorces, created rather q
pleasant sensation by remarking;
"Well, ma, I'm never going to marry.
I'm going to be widow"
-"I am past sixty years old, and
every now and then meet relick who
knu me forty-ive years ago, and re-
members some deviltry was guilty of
then. Amt it strange how tenacious
the memory is of these things, and how
weak it is ov ennything good a Teller
may have accidentally donep"-Josh
Billings.
1t is said that Boston man broke
off his marriage with a young lady be-
cause she spelt hugging with one "g."
The provocation was great, to be sure,
but as long as she practiced hugging
with two arms, we-that is, some young
men-would not care if she spelled the
word without any g's at all.-Norris-
tosCn Herald.
Paul Boyton and Captain Webb are
to have a swimming match, and James
Gordon Bennett has promised to give
the winner $1,000. Two poor sewing
girls IN New York, the other day, had
3 shirt-making match at twelve cents
per shirt. The winner completed four
shirts in sixteen hours, but we believe
no one gave her 81, -Norristoton
Herald.
WHATS orbs, Sallief" "Orbsp
why, as to how, Maggie? Who said
SOP" "Well, you know that city chap
was sparkling me last night, an he
looked me square in the face and sung
out, %! if 1 could always bask in the
effulgence of those bright orbs,'"
Humph! 1 guess that must be what
they call eyes that squint; but what do
you suppose he wanted of a basqueP'.
-Honkers Gazette. -#~ f. -.
"A little girl in the infant class of a
Sunday school thoroughly appreciated
the difference between being good from
choice and from necessity. At the
close of the school one day the teacher
remarked, "Beckie. dear, you have
been a very good little girl to-day"
"Yes'm, L couldn't help being good, 1
got tiff neck" the youthful Beckie
replied with perfect seriousness.
When a man awakes to the realiz-
ing sense that he is for the first time a
father, his breast heaves with emotion,