, 1879-04-20
JUSTICE IN A QUANDARY.

Ne,o lsrk Hfrdld.
The envoy That came from Patsy Burns sa-
loon Yesterday to get warrant for its proprietor
was hoarse, squat, and bullnecked. lie leaned
across the bar of tho Jefferson Market. Court
and whispered contilcntially, "Say, Jedee.
Patsy Burns wants to shut down on Lid that's
bin sklnning him."
IA kid! skinning him? Impossible" !" said his
Honor. "Whcrc is the anima?"
"He's young rooster" the applicant went
on, tWbat dishes out the booze In Fatsy's
drum.':
His Honor looked perp1exed. "Oh, it's poul-
try you're complaining about" he remarked
~ thought you said 1t was kid just now.
Well, what of the roostcr!"
The applicant took good long look at his
Honor and fumplcil his hat-lining ncryously.
Then he began again with an air submissive but
reproachful. $1,000 =,
it to you straight; honor bright. Patsy feels
dead sore over the thing and wants the young
terrier hauled up before vou-''
The Judge dropped his eyeglasses he1plessly.
ssLook here, my trierd,' le blurted out, "if
you come nero to complain about whole men.
ageric, say SO; but this parade Of flesh and fowl
is uistractng. LIT US understand each Other
Kid, rooster: or dog-is Patsy's trouble with
one Or ai9''
The applicant looked about him ho2elcssly..
| Then hc said:
.'Jedge, this looks like dead open and shut,
Yout don't seem to tumble to me at all Here's
| the scheme. There's q jigger behind Patsy's
| bur that's crooked, aud hc wants him taken IN.
! See?''
| .sOh, Patsy has sa1oon It is the person
who dispenscs the beverages he has trouble
| with"
"That's the racket, Jedgc." and the appii-
cant stamped with delight. 'You'ye got it
dead to rights You sce Patsy sets THIS oloKc
and everything goes hunkcedoree till he sees
his niDs sporting super and togged out to the
Queens taste. Well. Patsy's poory, fy, he is,
and he dropped to the caper. So he spotted
the fellcr, and to-day he catchel him working
the damper."
"WorEing the damper2"
= Yes, coiaring the DOODLE"
"Collaring tlle -. Ms friend, for heavens
sake, be explicit" his Honor moaued. "What
| do YOU ulean!''
The applicant turned the quid in his mouth
over and over again dcspondcntly, pur made no
reply. At last be blurted out in despair:
"Hang it, ledge. It's clear enough. lie was
tapping the TILL"
'Tnppng the till ~ and his Honor paused to
reflect Then his lace Frightened up. sab, /
| see" he said. "1lc was appropriating the
receipts to his own use in the proprictor's ab-
sence"
''Tnat's the tallz,'' roarcd the applicant.
| tlpElOpIlaLlI &HC iCCEIbtS lS tiC EU' 4bu w
got it down fine, Jcdge That's what the cod
+. ger did appropriated Patsy Burns' receipts.
So Patsy sent me round to see as il you wouldn't
give him tile collar and make him produce. He's
bad lot, he is, and gou ought to give him q
stretch"
"Whats" cried his Honor, would you be so
bartarous US to have ME hang the man!"
''Who's tallsin' Of haugin'!" asked the other.
"What I said Is, hc ought to get nip"
s'Get a nip!'
"Yes; go up the river"
II see, see" groaned the Justice. $50 to
Sing Sing. Ny friend, we will try, to accommo-
date you. But this conversation is trying to q
man Of my constitution. Go to Patsy Burns, ]
beg you. Tell him to bring his grievance here
i'll person, and for Heavens sake let him bring
little OF the yernacular along"
Tie applicant bowed his head sullenly.
"Maybe you're right, Jedge," said he, an'
maybe you amt, but it does seem rough on
citizen and TAXPAYER if lie can't get justice uu
less he's swallowed q lor dictionary and cratnmed
down iawbreakcrs fit to bust him. 80 long, u
and he stalked .loomily away in quest Of Patsy
Burns.