The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1879-06-28
VARIETY.

There is one doctor to every GOO people in the
United States. 50 Into the jaws Of death rode
the six hundred
A tramp has been arrested in Iowa for lying
on o railroad track with his cheek adjusted to
throw q train of.
They do say there is more pleasure in good
old-fashiOned courtship Of twenty years than in
lifetime Of matrimOny-
IL is intimated in the Philadelphia Bulletin
that Talmage will shortly take the part Of Samson
in a new play, furnishing the necessary jawbone
himself.
The flea, says the Boston Transcript, is the
politician Of the insect world. He is itching
Tor place, creates no end Of disturbance, and you
never know where to find him.
The Detroit Free Press says 80 There is q new
hat waiting for the man who has a boil on his leg
and refuses to believe that every person he meets
wants to rub against it,
Boston clergyman speaks Of 80 a mustached
gentleman holding piece Of wood to his shoul-
der and irantIcally drawing poor horse-hair over
the dried Viscera Of dead feline
Is there any danger of the bsa constructor
6iting mc?'' asked q lady visitor at the ZOOlOgi
cal garden. - Not the least, marm," cried the
shoWmaR. Z" he never bites; he swallows his
Wittles whole"
They were soon to be married. He had vague
ideas Of house furnishing, and he asked her what
kind Of carpets he should get for the parlor.
She answered, 80 Administer" And then he
warmly protested that it was none OF the minis
ter's business
This Is French widow is bewailing the re-
cent loss OF her husband. have at least one
consolation she sobs out, drying her tears.
At all events, know where he spends his
nights now -
There is a story that a man went into New
buryport liquor store and called for two quarts
of rum, protesting that it was 70: he purpose Of
soaking some roots. After the delivery of the IL
auor the dealer inquired 50 What roots?'' s' The
roots OF my tongue" said the man, but it was
too late.
President Hayes last week kissed forty six
young ladies' Of n Maryland boarding school who
had called on him. The cOnciliatOry policy has
evidently begun 10 work, though it Is said that
Mrs Hayes for some unknown reason, looks up
on it with horror and disgust.-BIfalo Express.
Texas paper sighs for white farmers, me-
chanics and men with capital. ' All such, = it
says, ss are received with open arms in Texas
Yes, but these open arms are too frequently fire.
arms. No, thank you; prior engagements pre-
vent US from taking our capital to Texas.
man coming out Of a Texas newspaper Office
with one eye gouged out, his nose spread all over
his face and one Of his chewed of, replied to
a policeman who interviewed him, " l didn't like
an article that 'peared in the paper last week,
m went IN ter see the man who writ it, an he
war there l''-NeIU York Tribune.
eabinetmaker can make hOwer-stand the
hottest day the season, but a washerwoman
can't make linen collar stand more than fifteen
or twenty minutes after the mercury crawls out
the top OF the thermometer and begins to climb
the libertypole-
So you brewt, you have come home tight
again - said q fond wife the other morning as
her husband fell up stairs and sitting down in
the bowl where the bread had been set to rise,
burst into tears and asked her to set EN- up
again-he would not 90 home till morning.
flight, Mariar,' said he, with a reproachful
tone that no arrangement Of types-not even
war map-could reproduce; - thisish not drunk
enesh-thisish 'moshiOnal 'shanity.'
When Dr. Lyman Beecher was under exami-
nation before council Of ministers prior to or
dination the usual test question was put 4" Are
you willing to be damned for the glory OF God u
and he declined to answer in the Affirmative but
remarked that if the divine will decreed the dam
nation Of the whole council it would meet with
his entire aequiescenee