Daily Republican., 1879-10-16
HUMOROUS.
IT ISN'T THE PIsH.

1T lbH The rirns
A citizen who was getting ready for q
trip to the fats and struggle with bass
and pickerel, was stopped on the street
by q solemn minded acquaintance who
said:
at seems curious to me that you will
20 up there and sit in the hot sun and
fish, when fish are 10 cheap in the
market ?"
"Why | don't care for the fish," re-
piled the other.
"Then why do you go :"
81 don't mind you, but don't let it
60 any further" whispered the fisher
man. "Every fisherman you meet up
there offers you ten cent cigar and q
drink of six dollar whisky, while you
may walk around town all day and
never be asked to even take a glass Of
water with small piece Of hy-papsr
in it,"
The solemn minded man looked hor-
rifed, but he hadn't gone two blocks
away before he entered a store and
asked to see fishing line-a cheap
One.'
LATEST ESSAY ON WOMEN.
After man came woman.
And she has been after him ever
since.
She is person of free extraction, be-
ing made of a mans rib.
don't know why Adam wanted to
fool away his ribs in that way, but |
suppose he was not accountable for ali
he did.
1t costs more to keep a woman than
three dogs and shotgun.
But she pays you back with interest
by giving you houseful Of children
to keep you awake all night, and smear
molasses candy over your Sunday coat.
Besides, a wife is q very convenient
thing to have around house.
She is handy to swear at whenever
you cut yourself with razor, and don't
feel like blaming yourself.
She has her faults-such as false hair,
alse complexion and so on.
But she is a great deal better than
her neighbour, and she knows it.
A youth in wholesale grocery store
down east wrote his girl very loving
letter, and laid it on his desk. The
head OF the firm soon after came in with
a pile of correspondence, and told the
CLERK to write to wholesale house Or
d-ring some goods in their line. He
somehow put the letter to his lady love
into the envelope addressed to the bu-
siness house, and vice versa. The
young lady referred to was Mortified,
shortly after, at receiving an order for
$50 hams, "A bags rock SALT" ETC.,
while the grocers were exceedingly as
tonished when the afternoon mail
brought them letter expressing an ar,
dent desire to fold you in a loving EN-
brace" and signed, "your own Char
les" Love and groceries somehow don't
seem to fit we'll together.
The very small boy is usually stag
gerer for any philosopher. Little Will
lie Warren is boy of this sort. lie is
a very small boy, just beyond the limits
of babyhood. His precociousness Is
we'll recognized by those that know
him, and sometimes people try to corner
him in a logical way. The other day
some one took htm up and asked him
il he was papa's boy. He answered,
yes. And are you mammals boy, tooF'
Yes, replied Willie. Well, how can
you be papa's boy and mammals boy
both at the same time was asked him.
"Oh," replied Willie, indifferently,
"can't a wagon have two horses y
That settled his questioner.
"See!" said a reverend gentleman
"here is an illustration. At one time
| should have sworn awfully at this fly
but, look now." Raising his hand,
he said, gently, 'Go away, fly, &C
away" But the fly only tickled his
nose the more. The reverend gentle
man, raising his hand with some vehe'
mence, made grab at the offender
and in being successful, opened it tt
throw the insect from him, when, in ex
treme disgust, he exclaimed : "Why
Id it, it's a wasp!"-"Buriingtor
Hawkeye."
The Rev. G. R. Davis, of Carson, and
the Rev. W. r. Jenvey, of Reno, never
lose the opportunity of giving each
other sly dig. Parson Davis preached
at Reno the other Sunday, and while
taking breakfast at Parson JeRvey'i
house remarked:
"Guess I'll take some more steak, al
/ have to preach"
"Guess I'll brace up a little, too,
rejoined Jenvey, passing his plate fo
another section of the meat. 1--WE 60
to listen"
( Two grammarians were wrangling
, one ccntsnding that it was proper to say
, "my wages is high," while the othe
: noisily insisted the correct thing wa
, my wages are high" Finally they
stopped a day laborer, and submitted
the question to him. "What do yor
say, your wages is high, or your wage!
are high ?" "Oh, off wild yer non
sense" he said, resumlng his pick
"yer nather ov ye right; me wages ii
low, bad luck to it.'
The grandma of little four-year-old
residing near Thirteenth and Berks
J told her, one day last week, not to say
} people lied, but rather that they were
m;staksn. Subsequently,, to amust