The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-01-23
Bijah and His Honor In Court.
Detroit Free Press
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WRESTLING WITH 'EM. |
Half an hour before the court opened |
along came a stoop-shouldered man
with a very serious face and solemn |
voice, and he asked Bijah if there were
any prisoners to be tried. Being an
swered il the affirmative, he stated that
he was the originator of a new religion,
and that he would like to go in and
wrestle with the prisoners and try to
do 'em good.
Wall, if your religion is better than
all the rest rolled in heap, it may
fetch 'en1," answered Bijah, "but you
must take your chances"
| The good man was shown into the
corridor, where sat Mary Jane Pollard,
brought in about midnight for disturb
ing the peace. What followed no man
may ever tell. Bijah heard whoops
and yells and grand rush, and the in
ventor of the new brand of religion came
out with his coat-collar hanging over
his shoulder, his hair thinned out, and
his breath all gone.
Then, she didn't ?' inquired
! the janitor as the man made for the
street, but no answer was returned.
The first prisoner out seemed to have
spent the best years of his life in grow
ing sickly looking goatee Of the color
| OF ripe carrot, and the paper collar he
had on had been in use for at least a
month. He explained that he landed
in Detroit from a tour to Buffalo only
last Saturday, and was landed in the
Central Station before he had been in
the home of his infancy half a day. He
placed an obstruction upon the side
walk near the City Hall Market-an
obstruction that gave the name of George
Benson when taken to the station He
denied it, however-even denied it after
policeman had told the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth. In attempt
ing heavy gesture with both arms, the
prisoner s old coat went rip" A part
of it fell on the floor, and it was decided
to send him up for sixty days to get
some clothes, although the close of his
case didn't suit the tourist at all, and
he wanted to fight Bijah when the lat
ter coupled the name of Benson with
benEine.
OLD DADDY JONES.
After Bijah had got him posed in
front of the desk he looked like darkey
of several hundred years growth. He
didn't wait to be questioned, but at
once began bowling and scraping, and
called out.
q Dis chile am come to see yer-what
yer g'wine to do with hep =
Ever been in the House of Cor
rection?' inquired the Court.
Jones Strengthened up, buttoned his
rusty coat close up, picked his hat off
the stove hearth, and feelingly replied /:
L" Is I heah to be de subject OBJ insul-
tin remarks"
Ever been arrested before?" con-
tinued the court.
"Befoah, sir-befoahl" exclaimed
; the indignant Jones. "De question am
not on de previs outlines Oh my char
acter, sir-not in de least ways-but,
de topic, sir, is whether I'm heah now,
-ir-heah as a criminal" And Mr..
Jones rested his weight on one foot, held
one arm out at angles, fastened his op.
tics on the clock, and waited for an an.
) swer. 1t appeared that he had been ad-
m tied as a lodger, but had oversight
: himself, and, for a joke, he was detained
and sent out as prisoner, just to learn
: him to leave his downy couch at more
$ proper time. He was told to proceed
on his winding way, but heinsisted on al
!. apology from Bijah, claiming that hil
7 character lad been compromised, and
e he finally got it, also nickel piece a.
u company, and he deposited the latter il
his boot leg, exclaiming: Use gvin.
/ up to Paton's alley, and don't keer t.
'spose my life by exhibiting too mucf
. money"
HE KNEW HIS TRADE.
!, Anthony Rich made a poor show as h,
/ stood at the bar in his old clothes. HI
n was dancing drunken jig in a barn OF
Gratiot-street for the amusement O
q seven boys and dog, and he Tough
! the officer all the way down. The cour
asked him if he had any cash.
Not cent" he replied.
"All right-Tll give you a new ste]
in dancing-one that you don't Know
I'll dance you down at ten dollars o
thirty days-take him back"
n But won't dance to that tune
p here's your spot" replied the man, an,
q he 6shed down into his pocket an,
brought up an old oil-skin containing
about one hundred dollars, and h
L. handed over his fine to the clerk.
p The court won't be fooled on a rag
IS picker again.
3 APA4RIoT.
u Bijah hunted around the corridor an
found one more prisoner, a fat, oil
N little man who had just aroused from
d sleep. When brought in at night h
explained to the Captain that the onl
ID profession he had was that of dying fo
II his country, and he offered to die fo
'r her then and there if any one would sc
as that he had rosewood casket.
it Have you got rid of all that drual
y yetF' asked Biiah as he pulled hir
along.
st "I-I hope not, COS I paid big pric
I'd for it, was the honest reply. Whe
er placed at the bar he stood there Ike
I'd bag of shavings, and when the coul
ts asked him to plead he CALCULATED, "I.
can't p-plead wo-worth cent-sposl
Id you p-plead fur me-"
j. "Were you drunk?' inquired ii
er court.
ot W-was l d-drunk? Do look lii
NJ a man that would g-get d-drunk?'
of Yes, sir; you do," said the cour
and you are drunk now, and I'll ser
;s. you DIP for six months"
Iii "Did you.you say s-six months
nr Eyes, SIR"
we "Will p,posies be in b-bloom by tt
he that timer"
ed "P-probably t-they w-w-will," +
Mt turned the court, and the prison
at s-seemed to be entirely s-satisfied.
i'll COler of the Sea.
for Tho oo1or of tho ooooo xuban fraa fro