The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-12-25
MULTUM IN PARYO.

A RoUsNa address-Timo to get up.
A GRAVE YARD-Thirty-six inches Of
black Grape.
Missouri is making efforts to invite
immigration.
"SHAKE" as the medicine-bettle said
to the invalid.
IT is the man with the rheumatism
who is every inch a. king.
The illicit distiller thinks It ia the
early revenue officer that catches the
worm. ...
"WHAT were the worst results of the
civil WARP" cried an orator. s.Widows. !"
shouted Jones, who had married one.
He said her hair was dyed, and when
she Indignantly exclaimed, "'Tis
false!' he said he presumed so.-Bos-
ton Post.
WHEN writer swears because his
articles are refused. it's proof that re-
jected communications corrupt good
manners.
A GLAss-BLowER has recently died at
the age of one hundred and ten years.
His great age is another proof of the
truth of the blewglass theory.
IT is a happy provision of nature
that people do not know when they
lose their senses, and fools do not miss
the absence of brains.-M. o! Picayxne.
LIKE cures like. The Irish tenantry
complain that England's treatment Of
them has been revolving, and now they
are revolving themselves. - Boston,
Transcript.
81 PREDICT" said Caudle, the other
day, to his bosom friend, "a mild win.
teri "On what grounds?'' my
wife and her mother have gone to Eu-
rope to stay till spring."
days without mIrmur; but let man
sit on dozen eggs but for minute and
he will use fowl language enough to
fill barn-yard.-Ecchamge.
A Boston preacher said, "The little
good any of us can do must be done
with our hearts humping against the
hearts of our fellow-men." And every
young woman in church looked at every
other young woman and smiled approx
ingly.
81 DON'T see how there ever came to
be SO many words in the worldr' ex-
claimed little girl who was studying
her spelling lesson. "Why, SIS" said
her brother, " they come through folks
quarreling. Then, you know, one word
brings on another"
A MAN at Georgetown while going
into the cellar recently to split kindling
wood fell and broke his neck. Ii his
wife had been attending to her business
he might have been at the club. 1t is
plain that she is responsible for his
death, but, being woman. it is almost
certain that no jury will ever punish
her for it.-Louiscille Couricr-Jou'nal
An! there is power in hydraulics OF
which natural philosophy speaketh not.
There be tears that weaken and tears
that debase; but when two women are
in trouble-more trouble than they can
speak, and have none to cling to but
each other, your "good cry'' mutually
enjoyed, cools the air like Nile fresh
ct, revives fortitude, new-fertilizes hope
and gives the widow and the fatherless
strength to rise up and smile like the
fruitful fields.-Geo. W Cable, IN Scrib-
ner.
HIS kEvERENCE-"I was sorry not
to see you at church this evening,
John?" John" Lor," you fritens a
body 20, sirr' His Reverence NV
mission is to alarm the unconverted,
John" John-'''Tisn't that, sir; you
sed in your sarment this mornin' that
twas no use trustin' to the common ia
tiers, and never plants no other soart;
SO I've bin down to the later field to
zee 'ow they be lookin'. Mine be all
right, 20 vur. You shouldn't friten q
body 20, sir. Fun.
A CHESTER County paper has found
an old lady of seventy-six who, during
the past summer and fall, made patch
work quilt containing $3.50 pieces.
These old lady quilt-makers are get
ting tiresome. An old woman of nine
ty-four, residing right here in this
town. has made a quilt since the 18th
of October last containing ITO, O84, 321,-
600 pieces-and she is totally blind and
has no hands. But we don't consider
the feat remarkable enough to make
an item about it.-Norristoa0n Herald.
HALLOWEEN was celebrated by one
of our clergymen in novel manner.
Hearing knock at the door, he went
there, and found very small boy on
the stoop. The very small boy had his
hands in his pockets, and was stamping
his feet to keep them warm. "Is Mr..
H. imp he asked. Eyes," returned
Mr.. H. himself. s'Tell him to stay in, ~
shouted the very small boy, as he "lit
OUT from the premises. Owing to Mr..
H. being bareheaded and in his slip
pers, the advice was followed.-Dan-
bury Nes0s.
A LADY contributor tells this story:
F." / had been out in Westchester Coun-
ty on visit. and while there l found a
kitten which brought home as play
thing for my two children. To prevent
any dispute about the ownership OF
puss, l proposed, and it was agreed,
that the head should be mine, the body
should be the baby's, and Eddy, the
eldest, but three years, should be the
sole proprietor of the long and beauti-
full tail. Eddy rather objected at first
to this division, as putting him off with
an extremely small share of the animal,
but soon became reconciled to the d.
vision, and quite proud of his owner
ship in the graceful terminus of the
kitten. One day soon after l heard
poor puss making dreadful mewing,
and called out to Eddy, There, my
son, you are hurting my part of the
kitten; l heard her cry No, I didn't
mother; l trod on my part and your
part hollered.'"
Formation OF q National Agricultural