Louisiana capitolian., 1879-10-25
Ihe gouisiana Qapitslial',
OFFICIAL JOURNAL OF THE PARISH

OFFICIAL JOURNAL OF THE PARISH
Old Doubleskull has just found out
that quinine is a medicine. He says that
he thought all along that it was the name
of some cOnfounded base ball club.
"That's the smallest horse ever saw,
said a countyman, on viewing a Shetland
pony. Indade, now," replied his Irish
companion, "but l have seen one al
small as two of him.
A young man has been courting one
girl five years, and every time he has
called during the past six months she
has fed him OH pop corn. But he does
not take the hint-and pop. ~ ,...
When the girl who has encouraged q
ysung man for about two years suddenly
turns around and tells him she can never
be more than sister to him, he can fol
the first time see the freckles on her nose.
"Never leave what you undertake un-
til you can reach your arms around it and
clench your hands on the other side,''
says a recently published book for young
men. Very good advice; but what il
she screams9
A gentle, spirituelle woman who can't
go out into the back yard to hang up the
weeks washing for fear of catching cold,
will gallivant all over wet beach for
two hours in a bathing suit, and flop
around in the suit whole forenoon. :.
Time flies, but about this time of the
year flies take their time in flying off
ones nose when they know you have
both hands full of type, designating
all modern combinations of cuss words
that practical printer can coin in the
space of five minutes.
A colored man appeared before mag.
istrate, charged with some trivial offcnse,
The latter said to the man: "You can GO
now; but let me warn you never to ap-
pear here again" The man replied with
q broad grin: ~ wouldn't be here dis
time, only the constable fetch mo-"
A Georgia newspaper expresses the
opinion that the dreadful scOurge OF
gambling in futures has done more to
impoverish the South than the drought,
the caterpillar, the Freedmen's Bureau,
the spurious guanos, Radical reconstruc'
tion, and the insurance companies all
combined. .. g. .
A gentleman just returned from the
mother country states that while spend,
ing month in the country houses he met
a number of young English girls, and,
while he found them exceedingly beanti-
full, they were tremendously useless,
Just what the Englishman says Of the
American women.
An Oxford lover, soft as mush, kissed
his girl about forty times right along the
other evening, and when he stopped the
tears came into her eyes, and she said in
q sad tone ofvoce: "Ah! John, feal
Won have ceased to love me-" '''No,
hain't," replied John, "but l must
breathe" Moral Pull down the blinds.
"Show me Greenbacker, " said a dar.
kew. holding a torn dollar bill in hishand
near the post office. ~ am one," said an
Independent. "You is: den deem dis
torn up currency and gin me new dol,
lar" "Coulln't do that, jim" ''Dat's
nuff den; how you speck for us cullud
folks to stan by you when you don't re-
belish de paper your natform '-Vicks'
burg Commercial.
An Irishman was going along road,
when an angry bull rushed down upen
him, and, with his horns, tossed him ovel
the fence. The Irishman, recovering from
his fall, upon looking up saw tho bull
paving and tearing up the ground, and
said: 'Ifit was not for your bowling and
scraping your apologies, you brute, faiS
| should think you had thrown me over
this fence on purpose"
When Mr.. Wheeler read the telegram,
which read "Hayes died to-day" he put
his hands under his coat-tails, elevated
his chin, aud remarked: 81 guess I'll
run this ere Government for a while
now" But when the telegram was cor.
rected and made to read "Hayes dined
today" Wheeler sat down in a corner
and remarked, III consider the reporter a
blasted fool who'll 90 telegraphing news
all over the country every time Hayes
eats a piece of pie"
Capt. J. d. DeRusscy has been pro
moted to the rank of Major orthe Fourth
Infantry to fill the vacancy caused by
the death of Major Thornburgh. He be.
longs to the DeRussey family of Louisi.
ana, whose home was Grand Ecore, OH
Red river. There were two brothers.
one in the Federal and the other in the
Confederate army, and this is son OF
the Federal General. He entered the
First Infantry, at the beginning of the
war, from West Point, and we understand
bore himself throughout like gallant
and honorable soldier.
When bee brings pollen into the hive
he advances TO the cell into which If !,