, 1879-06-28
DiverSitieS.


so much than to know 50 many things that
! amt so.
The puzzle which careful mothers try to
solve is how TO train the girls and how TO res
train the boys.
!. According TO the mormon organ In Utah
the Presbyterian clergymen have begun a
raid on the saints. .
Every time man smaes. and much more
when he laughs. it aids something to his
fragment of life--Yorict
Shingle weddings are; becoming fashion
able in Iowa. They ocsGr when the first
child is old enough to spank.
Many young ladies think they Miss it
! by not, and many married Lady thinks
, she Mrs. it in, being manied.
Weight for the wssen," observed the
farmer, as he helped sis three-hundred-
pound wife to a seat in tie vehicle.
Strike for the green traves of your sires,
and see if they have been moved" is the
advice Of the Freeport XII HsuH.
A young Dubuque miss says 1t Is no harm
! to lie, steal or swear, provided you lie down.
steal away from bad company, or swear to
be true.
Since l7Sl, says the Detroit Free Press,
twelve American husbands have been killed
, by blows from broomsticks. The broomstick
is mightier than the dust-pan-
| A man was desirous to call his boy by the
name of Asa, but his wife not liking the
name, he told her that she might uame the
next two A fair bargain that.
-. tay -
beauty, and to leave every lady to rate her
own charms. He said the tax would be
cheerfully paid, and be very productive
The rise in the price of silver has slightly
stimulated the demand on the treasurer for
the standard silver dollar. The west IS now
ordering more Of this coinage than ever be-
fore.
The NeZ Perces are now on their way
from their present unsatisfactory reservation
in Indian territory to the new and desirable
one which they have selected to the west Of
the Poncas-
Are tulips very sweet, ma asked
young four-year- "Why do you ask,
INV dear. ;" replied her mother, "Cause pa
told Soosan that her two-lips were sweeter
than wine Jelly" Susan took a new depart
ure that afternoon.
Now the boy climbs mp the trees,
And the verdant fruit doth seize,
And Immediately the poison on his stomach
camps,
And so do the fdgets and the colics and the
cramps.
When YOU sac woman going toward the
river with good sized pole n her hand sn.l
a wrinkle across her nose, you needn't think
she's going fishing. Not much she's got a
boy down that way who promised her, with
tears in his eyes, that he wouldn't go IN
swimming
.sGentlemen Of the jury, said Mr.. Phelps
10 the twelve men of Worthington, Mum,
sho had convicted his daughter of selling
cider without license, 'tall I've got to say
is, you're a set q jackasses, and you may
wave Your ears over that solemn truth.
Mr.. Phelps was fined $40 for contempt OF
court.
The humors Of the body have q stated and
regular course, which impels and lmpercep-
tibiy guides our will They cooperate with
each other, and exercises successfully
secret empire within us so that they nave
\ considerable part in all our actions With
out our being able to know ltd Roche
toueaHH.
1t is said to have been satisfactorily GO
monstrated that every time wife scOids her
husband she adds wrinkle to her face. 1t
is thought the announcement OF TINS lacI
will have a satisfactory effect, especially as
il is understood that every time wiie
smiles on her husband it will remove one oil
the old wrinkles.
A little five year-old was sitting with his
mother 4 few DAYS ago, playing at her feet,
when suddenly he looked up INTO her aase,
and said: "Mother, do You know what |
want to be when l grow up" She shook
her head. "Well, when / grow up want
to be one Of those men who cure corns ana
have their pictures in the paper.
This is the time of the year when the boy
who has accidentally changed shirts with
champion, while enjoying the surreptItious
swim. tells his mother, when she dlscov rs
the swap, that the other boys mother took a
fancy to his shirt and borrowed it as pat
tern to make some shirts from for her little
boy. Noble, unselfsh little fellow
In Stanstead, Canada, MN sold ten-cent
packages, warranted sure death to potato
bugs no risk of poisoning animals as with
Paris green" The packages were not to be
oneued until time to use them. On' vsctim
having three, opened one and 10 md two
souare blocks of wood, on one of w.nIch was
| written 90 Place the bug on this block ana
! press firmly with the other.
The gen.lest task-master we ever heard OF
was a blacksmith. who used TO. say every
| evening to his apprentice: "Come, boys.
| LET'S leave of work and 60 to saving wood
| That blacksmith must be brother to the
| farmer down east, who, one season when ne
| was buildiuc a new house, used to try to get
his hired men out with him to play dig
cellar by moonlight.
The London Times says: ''The number
Of deserters from the army, IN 1878 was
| 5iJ6 of which number 1868 men subse-
| opentlv reioined the net loss was, conse-
auentIy 2i47. In 1877 the net loss was
362l showing an excess in last year OF l26
nen In 1876 the net loss was 21l2, IN 1879
the number was 2426, IN 1873 S93e' ana In
1873, 39l7-
The scholars In Binghampton school hay-
inc been gwen the dangerous privilege OF
wTiting about any person IN the room, one
Ettle chan was smart enough to get hit at
the teacher in behalf of his fellows In thls
-. .N;ss is a small woman.
abont half as tall as Barnum's giant She
;srks the bovs around and thinks she's smart,
but she don't get there" The privilege has
been rescinded-
The finest epitbet for genius was THAT
Which was applied 20 Newton's genius,
g snatient." He who has patience coupled
tse me results Of genius he who has genius
without wit patience and without energy g;s,s1 .lf
| indeed such genius be thing possible. E.
might as well have no genins at all his
vols and aims, like the plants OF nature
before the deluge, have no roots--ba'''sr-
A YoUS6 LApY's REoUIREAENTs--"e
| often wondered why girls married. A
"Wen. "S1.i no, o.f I don't know as I'd marry for
money alone. but if man had plenty OF