, 1879-08-23
DiyerSitieS.

|
DiyersitieS.
There is German proverb which saws
that ." -''e it Easy and Livl tong are
brothers
Husband means band of the house. ~
We thought it was the mott er-in-law who
made all of the music
Good housekeepers hate to put off
washing day With them it is - soap
deferred that maketh the heart sick"
"Have you mother-in law r asked a
man of misunderstanding person
No" he replied but I've father in
jail"
4 sour old bachelor objects to equal
rights for women he says her origin IN
dicates she was only intended for a side
show
She smiled and whispered "Yes" Her
rUra' escort had incautiouSly asked wheth-
| er she knew where the nearest ice-cream-
cry was.
A wife is mans better half And
when man runs away with his neigh
hors wife it is to get the better Of him,
| isn't it }
All the planets viii be visible this
month, and it is always the correct thing
to teach Your best girl astronomy while
She is young.
/ Those Bridgeport papers are never Sc
rious A city woman having disloeated
her jaw. the paper says g her husband
was greatly alarmed"
Banks ought to be comfortable places
in hot weather. You can always find 3
draft there, but do not check the perspir-
alton too suddenly.
| Wives of great men oft reIiind us,
We should picl, our wives with care,
So We need not leave behind us
Half our natural cicp of hair
An exchange advsrtises a cure for
"apple worms" Never knew them to
be unhealthy before, and If they are,
what is the use OF curing them
No matter how bad and destructive q
boy may be, he never becomes SO de-
sraded or loses his self respect sufficiently
to throw mud on circus poster
| Oh. give Iaa a he'd oa 4 chunk OF ice,
Wav do.yn IN a thousand foot Wei,
Ani fan my brow with thrcShiaG machine,
For I'm sick Of this hct spell.
There are over 900, 900 Sunday school
scholars in this country, Yet when one
small boy climbs over the back fence on
the Lords day he is quickly missed.
She sat upon her lovers knee,
Her golden treSSeS oI his shoulder;
And he-he felt that he was rich,
\ happy prosperous blonde holder
The sudden paleneSs which sometimes
oyerspreads a voung mans face in church
may be caused by qEickened conscience,
but the chances are that he has swallowed
some tobacco juice
The reason Why :: Detroit woman get
of q street osr without ringing the bell
was because she SAW her husband walking
with good-looking widow, and she had
10 time for ceremonies.
Remember whom yol are talking to,
sir" said an indignant parant to face
tious boy; Il am your father. "Nell,
who's 20 blame for that ? said the young
imrertinenee, taint me.
A man in Nevada found fortune by
taking a drink of water We've taken a
pint or more of the stuff IN the past ten
wears: had 10 fortune when We com
menced and have not got 1t yet.
A negro preacher described hell as ice
cold, where the wicked froze to all eter-
nifty. Asked why, he said: cause L
don't dare TO tell dem people muffin else,
Why, if | say hell is warm, some OF dem
old rheumatic niggers be wantln to start
down dere de very fbs fros.
A hen out in the country is LAYING eggs
measuring eight and one-haif inches
around the waizt. She Is evidently tired
81 hearing Of "hailstones the size oi hen S
eoos..' and is determined to inaugurate
reform in this particular. IL Is hoped all
| the hens in this country will turn IN and
assist her in her laudable efforts
| 1t was in a crowded ferry boat that an
honest but rather unsightly sailor aeei-
dentally came in collision with the brand
| new dress Of a fine lady, at which She IN
| dignantlv exclaimed:
Refrain audacious tar
Nv suit from pressing;
Remember what you are,
And what I'm dressed in,
4 New York ladv writes: b" If could
have nv way. every smoker should marry
a smoker or live alone forever. Nov,
do you know that would be rather nice
idea-matrimonial smoke as it were-One
nine with but a single blast, two stems
tbat smoke as one Smoking girls desir-
ous of getting married will please mention
the particular brand Of tobacco they
affect.
.Joseph Cook once asked certain lady
10 be his wife, and immediately elapsed
ITO a profound study Of something The
lady softly said - Yes, and as he didn't
respond she repeated the word a little
louder. &; Stop yoar noise roared JOS
eDb "Tve got an argument ar my
tongues end that Will knock the spots out
Of John Mi, and hers you're tr:lng to
spoil it.
When You used to 90 courtipg Low nice
Won looked All, your eye was so bright,
your step was light, and you jus. put on
the verv best look You could Do you
know tha. il IS insufferable egotism IN you
. .-o,,o,, - noipr m inTe