The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-10-29
OCTOBER 80
VARIETIES.


dade, mama, she's fast asleep watch
ing the bread baking
First small boy-We've got
nicer dinner than you. We've got
Guinea.hen. Yah! Second small
boy-And we've got Guinea pig.
Yah
First lad (spitefully) "Y our moth
tr's got red hair" Second lad (argu-
tentatively: "Well my mothers
hairs Der own, and your mother buys
hers"
"Buy trunk, Pat" said dealer.
"And what for should l buy atrunk !"
rejoined Pat. ITO put your clothes
in,' was the reply. ''And go naked!"
exclaimed Pat mot bit iv it !"
A Western subscriber who owes
us for the Times, writes: 81 know
Iowa debt. Utah care and Nebraska
second time for it, for Kansas back
and make as Illinois as you cam
Whitehall Times.
The last song is called "Kiss Me,
Won't You ?" But he wouldn't.
She had been eating onions twice that
dav, and he went and sat down on
the sofa and said that he was afraid
somebody might see him through the
window. ....f astt
"Don't be an Editor" is the head
ing of paragraph going the rounds
Of the press, and number OF men
around various newspaper offices are
following the advice with indetatiga-
Bile energy.-Rochester EcpreSs.
Blackberries grow SO large down
South that negro babies are fire.
quently packed in boxes and sent to
market in mistake for the genuine
article. The Albany Journal tells
this Eli Perkinsism.
Times of the greatest calamity and
confusion have ever been productive
of the greatest minds. The purest
ore comes from the hottest furnace
the brightest flash from the darkest
cloud.
An ordinary fowls egg weighs
from one-hal1 to two ounces; a
ducks, two to three ounces; a tur-
KEYS. three to four ounces; while
that of a goose weighs from four to
SIX ounces. Three 4osaeths- Of, an agg-
is water.
An exchange says Florida hotels
are hunting the snakes from the bed
rooms, driving out alligators from the
dining rooms, and busting the cent.
pedes from the closets, prepal atory
to reopening for the winter.
"Healthy here ?" asked a visitor
who was prospecting in the neighbor-
hood Of Denver, Colorado. "Stran-
ger, yes" was the reply; "ten years
ago we had to kill two old men to
start this cemetery a-going."-Rock
Mountain NeacS.
In the South, when pine woods are
cut down, oaks invariably grow up
and take their places, anG when oaks
are cut down pines alone will grow.
The reason, asgiven by the Scientific
Anaerican, is that the pines exhaust
the soil Of certain elements that are
necessary to their growth, while
they do not take the elements re-
quired by the oaks. The case is sim.
liar when oaks are cut down. The
tree that the soil is the bes. adapted
to will survive.
"See!" said the reverend gentle.
man; "here is an illustration. At one
time should have sworn awfully at
this fy-but look now.'' Raising
his hand, he said, gently: $50 away,
fly, go away" But tie fly only tick.
led his nose the more. The reverend
gentlemen raised his hand with some
vehemence, made q grab at the of.
fender, and being successful, opened
it to throw the insect from him, when,
in extreme disgust, he exclaimed:
"Why, d-n it, it's a wasp.o
a German gentleman who keeps a
seven by nine lager beer shop at the
South End, treated himselfto DAVIS
vacation recently, leaving his son in
charge Of "ter Dizziness" and a key of
beer. On his return he found the
key empty, and addressed his off:
spring as follow:
allow is dis, Yawcob, dot YOU
make me only und dollar and dirty
cents for dose keg OF beer? Show
me how you draws der beer"
Yawcob took the glass and drew
it nearly full of beer, with but the
least margin OF roth, when the old
gentleman, Selling his hand, said:
Nnr N, n La Il &C.. !. L., :. ~. -. L