The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-08-07
prTH AND POINT.
CURsoRY remarks-Swearing.

OURSORY remarkS-SWear1ng.
REEL happiness-Getting drunk.
RED hair is said to be haired itary.
No MATTER what rank vegetables may
attain, the cabbage will always be a
head.
The Khedive of Egypt had better
look out that some of his creditors do
not Suez canal.
CHARLEs-@What did that spring suit
cost you, Alp" Alfred @Can't say, dear
boy-havent been sued for it yet"
A BANK clerk becomes quite dead
shot in detecting bad bill; sort of
William Teller, as you might say.
We know a man over 30 years of age
who hasn't gray hair on his head-nor
one of any other color.-Boston Post.
A MISSISSIPPI man puts it thus: cat
the earnest solicitation of men whom I
owe money I have consented to become
candidate for County Treasurer"
IRISH drill-sergeant Ito q SQUAD of
militiamen): "Pr's'nt rmsl" (Astonish-
ing result.) @Hivens! what prisintl
Just stip out here now, and look at
yersilvesl"
A BEAUTIFUL custom prevails in many
parts of Europe of planting tree upon
the birth Of every child. It saves wear
and tear of slippers. - Norrtsto,u,a
Herald.
SOME of our weekly exchanges have
domestic department" This must
be hard department to get up if it is
anything like our hired girl in the
morning
A LIMBERGER cheese factory at Great
Bend, Pa, was struck by lightning the
other night and entirely destroyed.
Another proof that the victory is not
always with the strong.
A THEE is really profound philoso-
pher and always candid thinker; that
is, he looks at everything in an abstract
way, and, if you reason with him, he is
open and liable to conviction.
A YOUNG man went into restaurant
the other day, and, remarking that
slime is money" he added that, as he
had half-hour to spare, if the proprie-
tor was willing, he'd take it out in pie.
That was ghastly joke that sinful
Southerner played on a stranger, whom
he promised to introduce to rich
planter, and then took him around and
presented him to the leading under
taker.
@CUFFs for 10 centsl" exclaimed Mr.
Jollyboy, gazing out of street-car at q
sign; "why, I can get more'n I want
jest by aggrawatin' the first man meet
and he'll throw in the choler fol
nothin,."
A pIcKPooKET taken with his hand in
Come one else's pocket endeayored to
invent all manner of impossible explana.
tions Of the phenomenon. whats the
use of your trying to lie about it sc
clumsily?" said the magistrate, benevo.
lently; "haven't you lawyer?"
AFTER Tom Sanders, of Decatur
Ala, had dreamed three nights in sue
cession that he could subsist forty days
and nights without food, he concluded
to keep the fast, but failed at the end oi
thirty-eight days, when he died.
HAPPY FACT.
Men scorn to kiss among themselves.
And scarce will kiss brother;
While women want to kiss SO bad
They smack and kiss each other.
tits, indeed, happy fact
That woman's fond of kissing;
For otherwise this bliss to kiss
The misses would be missing.
SOME one asked DR.. z. for. news o.
his great-uncle, of whom the doctor ii
the. heir. at seems that he is quite i'll,
answers he. "How it seems;' aren'
you treating him?" @Oh, no." coolly re
plies the doctor, II never wanted to b.
my excellent unole's physician; there
was too much temptation" ."-PariS Fig
dro.