The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-11-20
What a CarOtty-headed Reporter Saw
at the County Fair.

The vegetables had a masquerade
ball. The watermelon wore a watered
silk, the cucumber came in a green tar
letan and treated every body cOolly, re-
senting the exclamation of the awkward
vegetable that trOd on her trail and ex-
claimed, "Here is a pretty pickle" "
The caulitlower came to call off for the
dance, and wanted his celery, cash
down. The egg plant was dressed in
purple, and would have made a fine ap-
pearance but for limited conversational
powers, being only able to reply, g Eggs
actly" to all remarks that were ad-
dressed to it. The lettuce family was
on hand, but very exclusive. All they
asked was, - Lettuce alone.'' The
mustard was seemingly arrayed in yell
low satin, but complained of the heat
and wanted to poultice another young
lady, who observed that it was pleasant
to see so many good people mustered
together. Old Mr.. Pa Ships and Mr..
Carrot were on hand with their two sons,
Thomas w. and Judas I.-ThOmas w.
Pa ships and Judas Iscariot. Also
promptly arrived Mr.. Bull NOsed Pep
per, who began a quarrel with Beet,
because the latter termed his language
pepper-sauce. Next to Mr.. Pepper
stood Mr.. Potato, wearing a blue
ribbon, and claiming to be one
of the originatOrs of the Murphy move
ment. He declined to dance, saying he
had an eye out for the prettiest woman
in the room. He took a back seat, how
ever, when Sweet Potato came saunter-
ing in and was declared by the ladies to
be g to sweet for any thing" The To-
mato enjoyed himself hugely. He want
ed to catch up with the music and trip
| the light fantastic toma-tOe. During the
/ dance young Rhubarb stallzed across
| the room and trod upon the equity To-
mato, for which rudeness he was de-
nOunced as a Rhubarbarian. At inter
mission a gang of young Caraways got
| high and reeled into the ballroom, sing
ing, ''We'll drive dull Caraway." There
was also a disagreement between the
Radish and Turnip families. One of the
former family was heard to declare that
female member of the latter family
had a Turnip nose, to which the Turnip
replied that Miss Radish's nose was al
ways reddish, ,and she should like to pull
it. Young Mr.. Lima Bean ipsulted his
mother on the floor. He said: - You
Li-ma,'' whereupOn old Mr.. Bean pOled
him on the spot. The wealthy
Mr.. Corn came late-he was of the late
kind. Mrs. Corn was Silked out to kill,
but the children were all smut-faced and
spindled-shanked. Young Mr.. Bunker
Hill Beans of Boston was recognized
through his costume. He wore a bag
domino, which he had united on account
of the heat So it happened that when
Mr.. Squash came up, put out his feele1
and exclaimed: 4" "Beans, old boy, how
are ye?'' that Beans replied: g How did
you come to know me, Squash?'' q"
[ know beans when the bag is united, ,
responded Squash gayly, as he whirled
a crook neck into the midst of the waltz
1t was an amusing. sight in the morning
to see a Savoy Cabbage rolling into :
barber's shop to have mis- head rubbed
up, with the complaint that his hail
curled and -'' At this point pic
turesque-loolzing chap across the stree
beckoned for the classic Bohemian tt
come that way, and as he thought h'
detected liquid insinuation in the wav,
} of the other wanderers hand, he mad,
haste to 90 to his company PrOUi
Cleilce Or. ~ Journal.