The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1879-05-15
4llaifs And ll1hims.

Judge not, lest ye beshot-[ Chicago
Times.
Good name for steamboat steward
ess-Bertha.
Pride goeth before fall, but great
deal OF bad language cometh after.
"A fat dog lying on front stoop is
g good clearinghouse advertisement.
1t ia dangerous to ask a Somap idle
questions when she is adding up gro,
cry bill.
1t is singular thing that no rail.
road man mas ever applied for patent
on the daybreak.
"A mans curiosity never reaches the
female standard until some one tells him
his name was in yesterdays paper.
The soldier may draw useful les
son from the old carpet. 1t shows its
colors the palmer the more it is beaten.
The old custom of burying suicides
at midnight and without religious cere-
monies is still followed in England.
"A book agent was knocked down by
street-car the other day, and two
wheels passed over his cheek. The car
is laid up, pending repairs.
The Sweet Singer of Michigan says
flattery has not turned her head. They
should try her with new bonnet of
the head of another woman.-[N. o. Pic
ayune.
..Bonnets are not worn in heather
lands. Hence churches are not popular
there. 1t requires new spring bonnet
to develop the latent Christianity in
woman.
1T is q good suggestion that a negro
minstrel blacks his face in order to hide
his bushes when he makes his usual
stale JOKE New York Herald.
AN actor recently returned from
the mining districts was asked if he had
a full house on his first appearance, to
which he responded, Full house yes.
they were all drunk.
"A cartridge is said to have been in
vented which floats on the water, taste
good to ducks, and blows their heads off
when they chew it. 1t is suggested that
they should eschew it.
Out in the oil regions people carry
nitro-glycerine around in jugs. The
railroad companies are continually on
the watch to prevent its being taken on
the cars.
-" What are you trying to resd ?'
asked visitor of an old gentleman who
was nodding over the evening journal.
"Oh," replied his wife, "that's his
snooze paper"
e" Free kirk elder preparatory to
presenting tract): "My friend do you
know the chief end of man ?" Piper
(innocently): "Na, didna mind the
chune; can we no whustle it? '
"A clergyman recently prayed for the
Zone who, although hidden from sight,
yet contributes so much to the musical
part of our worship" ending, go, Lord,
1 mean the boy who blows the orgsn."
The Black hills are called black be-
cause they are covered with pine trees
in contrast to the bare plains around
them, and cover an area about equal to
the state of Massachusetts at an eleva-
ton of from 5000 to 1000 feet.
"A Scotch minister in one of his
psrochial visits met q cowboy, and
asked what o'clock it was "Aboat Y,
sir" was the reply. WE'LL" remarked
the minister, 1 thought it was more"
&c It's never any more here" said the
boy, sit just begins at again."
Sticking to it. "My DEAR" said a
vain old man to his wife, these friends
here won't believe that Pm only forty
five wears old. You know l speak the
truth, don't you :" Well" answered
the simple wife, II suppose ] must be-
heve it, John, as you've stuck to it for
fifteen years."
When dull days settle down upon
European capitals, some hsh-wited fell
low borrows a pistolsand goes forth to
shoot the king. he is rarely successful,
but a weeks holiday is granted, with
full pay, to every body, the city is lit
up with Chinese lanterns, and, on the
whole, the people hardly know which
is the better man, the wouldsbe assassin
or the king.-[New York Express.
The tongue will sometimes make
the most awkward slips It it told of
clergyman in one Of the towns near
Boston that he had given him to read
from the pulpit an announcement that
the Bellingham praying band would
conduct at the evening meeting but
by some strange perversity OF the I'M
ruly member, the congregation were as
founded with the announcement that
there would be service by the Pray,
ingham belly band."-[Boston Globe.
"A young lady was sitting with gal
LIANT captain in a charmiDgly decorated
recess. On her knee was dimlnutlVe
niece, placed there pour les convenan-