Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1879-01-29

A mules head does not contain brain
capable of culture and refined rearing, bu.
it is wonderful to what an extent the other
end of him can be reared.
That was Il good, though rather severe
pun, which was made by an Edinburgh
studcnt-and he was not the brightest Of
the class. either-when he asked, why
is Professor -- the greatest revivalist
of the age?" and. on all giving it up"
said, " Because at the end of every sermon
there is great awakening"
1t WAS very honest old Dutch Judge in
Schoharie county, who listened for several
hours to the arguments of counsel and
then said: "Dis case has peen ferry ably
ars ued on both sides, and dere have peen
some ferry nice points of law brought up.
| shall dake dree days TO consider these
points. but shall eventually decide for de
blaintiff.' y
A minister was riding through section
of the state of South Carolina, where
custom forbade inn-keepers to take pay
from the clergy who stayed with them.
The minister in question took supper
without PRAYER, and ate his breakfast
take his departure when mine host ~
presented his bill. "Ah, sir" said he. ~
am Il clergyman.' That may be-"
replied B0niface, "but you came here.
smoked like a sinner, ATE and drank like a
sinner, and slept like sinner; and now.
sir, you shall pay like sinner"
The London World tells the story of
how an annoyed musician revenged HIM
self: "One of the most eminent pianists i'll
London having suffered much from the
irrcpressible conversation of drawing-room
audiences, devised u means of giving
lesson to the town. lie arranged with his
violin, his violinccllo and the rest that the
music should come to u sudden stop in the
midst of the loudest passage of the piece
ut given signal from him. 1t was done.
The bawling and shouting voices We're
left in the twinkling of IN eye, high and
dry, as It were. upon Il shore of silence.
Joyous, clear and distinct above them all
rose a voice from the foremost seats, the
voice of Lady -: I'VE always fry ours
in lard"
A sable son of Ham presented himself
at the desk of TIE mariage-lcense clerk OF
the probate court, the other day, and
asked for license to marry his dusky
Dulcinca. Among other problems pro-
pounded to him was, " Are you and the
lady rclated?" Yes, sah!" was the an
swer. "What relation are you to each
otherP" was the next query " Sah?'
calculated the applicant for matrimonial
honors. ~ mean what kin are you to
each otherp1 explained the handsome
Harry. We isn't any kin to each other
no kin at all, sah," responded the Ameri-
can citizen of Ethiopian descent. But
you said you were related" answered
Reichten. " | thought you deluded 10 dc
lender relashuns of luv what prevails be
tween us ut de present moment" said
Scipio so he got his license. .--Ctncinndtt
EHQuircr
The writer of an article on " Nenrsight-
edncsss in Children" printed in the Etu-
cttional Weekly, gives this excellent rule:
Encourage the pupil to look off the book
frequently to change the focus of sight by
regarding some distant object. 1t is not
enough to look around vaguely; the eye
must be directed to something which is to
be clearly seen. like Il picture or motto
upon the wall or bi! of decoration. The
greatest damage. to the eyes OF students is
2 the protractcd effort to focus the printed
t page 1t was simply barbarous, the way
t we used to be "whackcdn in school, when
we looked off the book. 1t is easy for II
teacher to know the difference between
resting the eye and the idle gazing around
, that cannot be allowed. Iregard this rule
2 AZ the most important, and the disregard
, Of it the most prolific of trouble
A country editor makes out the follow
inc bill of complaints: Eliting 4 newspa-
, per is n pleasant thing. If il contains too
much reading matter, people won't have 1t.
If the type is too large, it don't contain
enough reading matter; if the type is too
small, they can't read it. If we have few
Z, Jokes, folks say we are nothing but rattle
i heads If we omit jokes they say we are Old
= fossils; if we publish original matter, they
: blame US for not giving them original
. selections; if we give them original sclcc-
tons, folks say we are too lazy for giving
: them what they have read in some other
: paper. If we give n man complimentary
{ notice. we are censored for being partial ;
: if we do not, all hands say we are hog
= If we speak well of any act folks say we
: dare not do otherwise; if we stay in our
Il Office and attend to business, folks say we
Il are too proud to mingle with our fellows.
); If VIC do not pay promptly, folks say we
|, q are not to be trusted; if we do pay prompt
L. ", then they say we stole the money.
|, In town near Boston there lives goou
/. Lady who suffers acutely from sciatca.
:. She has consulted physicians far and near
I but has been unsuccessful in finding any
V cure. Not long since she heard that Il
t. man living not far away was afflicted with
10 the same disease in an aggravated form
= and it occurred to her that she would call
upon him and ask whether he had ever
found ANYTHING that would avail to lessen
its terrors. She did so, and having intro
" duced herself, stated her errand. "Dc
=" you." she asked. " find anything thai
., 10 affords YOU relief?" Yes marm." he
e replied. 1.-TWO things" "T0o things.
:. Pray what are theyP' CuSSing and
- sweariug," said the invalid. 1t is added
~ that on her return home the good lady tol(
!, her husband that she only regretted thai
81 she could not avail herself of this rene ly
il Not that | have any conscientious scru
20 pies" she said. "Gut | don't kHoW hoW.'
" Causeur, in Boston Transcript.
Mt TIE WRATH OF JAsoN.-Some month:
= prior to the unfortunate accident IN thu
OF rolling mill. whereby Uncle Jason was Sc
suddenly ana uneNpeCleuIS iauhShou llt
or the mysterious beyond. Spikes was at hi
ey desk in the mill office, when great nois'
'eI and controversy was heard outside. as fol
10 lows:
II Is you gwin to fill the CONTRACT
H. Who you call contrac'! don black d
shoe.
,g lax, is you gwin to carry out de gree
st mentP You h'ar mep
in Go way, old man, Use got no time t'
in fool wild you. Eff you hab dat oder sho
ge shine up you has to pay extra.
O. Boy, eff you rouse de lion in Jason, h
or cotch you by dem years an brush d.
g. groun' wild you.
to Who kin?
ly OATS me; dat's who kin.
ke You kin?
tic Jes h'ar dat W'ginny Simmon talk t
ed Jason OBJ de blue grass l ak you. boy
v. fur de las time in dis vale OBJ tears. is 20
i'd gwin to shine de shoeP
mt done shine de shoe