Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1879-06-06
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ate' Barnum says that in his Greatest Show
on Earth lady will never witness ges
II, ture OF hear a remark she would not coun
wtenance IN her own parlor. ! But it would
look little odd to see in lady's parlo1
- the visiting gentlemen walking upon al
most every part of the body rather than
their feet, and seem little strange to
q hear the tssHoop 1a!''l BE- 55s7is 19ale) @ iYal
Sst IN III Fl fI..7 b39ig 10 aTHanT0dI Z - 10 |
"What are you looking 'for?,''s asked one
of the widow Bedott's two daughters, who
were entertaining their young fellows on
1.-the piazza rather late one night this sum
gmer, of their mother, who seemed to be
hunting for something around the front
yard. Fl ,"Ihe morning papers. . !. answered
the widow. The young men left" a
A gentleman recently about to pay. his
@dostor's bill, said igssssWell, doctor, as my
little boy gave the munps to all my neigh
bors' children, and as they were attended
by you, 1 think you can afford, at the very
least, to deduct ten per, cent. = from the
amount Of my bill for the increase of bus
mess we gave you.'' i aiss. 3aa Is I5aolia9.
A gent lemanly appearing man was taken
to the Central Police station yesterday
charged with being drunk. He said he
hadn't imbibed anything for a week, but
that the last thing he remembered was
sitting down to read Zach. Chandler IS last
two speeches. Washington Post.
A man in East Tennessee committed
suicide the other day. His neighbors had
been trying to kill him fol, upwards of four
years, and had fired altogether over hun
dred shots at him. He left note saying
''he had rather die than live in commu-
nifty of such cursed poor marksmen.''
''There is one thing about kiss" said
gentleman 'Oh, I know what tis!''
was the reply; sit is pair Of pretty lips"
Eyes, indeed, and the satisfaction d man
has Of knowing that the lady's mouth is
tightly closed for short time.''
In Norway the longest day lasts three
months. The man who six months ago,
promised TO call in a day Or two and settle
his little bill, must have gone to Norway
on a visit. yAls al st.4i.y II .ss3sile issaa
siisaa Sssi 81 q aoii .siiti-I hat 7iH947t
George Eliot says that girls are 'sdeli-
cate vessels They are the sort CT YES
sells that young men frequently put to
their lips; but they are not so delicate as
their pallor often implies. a9es7 ~. i'a
AL
An ambitious young writer having asked
'what magazine will give me the highest
position quickest 2'' was told: "a powder
magazine, if you contribute q. fiery arti- !
cle,at8 nAe AautldtH sIri .la.iaUN i4 inrs' ii'ar
.Yai6 s3 ri tess irlg ei''aef
1t looks the easiest thing in. the world
to carry market basket, but keeping the
cover in its place and the butter bowl from
clasping hands with the bag of sugar is
what bothers most men. CiY hC n
A1ln1A n h11a18
The finding of a body of a drowned man
in the reservoir from which town is sup
piled with drinking water will undo all the
good work the temperance cause has ac-
complished in five years. -Norristoacn Her.
aid. .g s,fs~iti ~ Ap,41hA h,iti xolst.IW h''H
''MY lord.'' began a poInpous young bar
rister, sit is written in the book of nature
% son what page, sir-on what page?''
interrupted the judge, with pen in hand,
A beck just published is entitled ssSay-
ings and Doings of Great Men. 1--WE no
tice that the Sayings, have a large ma
jority.-Usiea ser. 'all =, it7astl sti ., +
ss.s.ss ia ~ ln,. .xaiilsM raaset ga 7i'sia %
A Jersy City man was recently arrested
for smacking his wife across the nose with
red and yellow worsted motto bearing
the words ''Home, Sweet, Home.'' 4, e IL
Nine. x, to young swell Of her ac-
quaintance: .''sFYon ought to marry, my |
dear Raoul.' '.Me marry? Why SO? I am
not in debt and am very we'll, % i9,ll
II have got SO in the habit of being mar
ried by an Episcopal clergyman that real
ly don't feel satisfied with ony other kind,
said p Chicago widower.
s,..,t,. a. ssalsb 81 ii1us4rg a1ta ufl
"A lady temperance advocate is lecturing /
upon the subject 6 Why do men drink?'
In nine cases out Of, it is because they are
asked. s@ ssih % hiai i'qiea 'sTts.gsa
49, y s4M II s9sei,l 3 f7i4AH5g ~ ...s
Sealskin sacques begin to looking unses J.
sonable. It is with profound regret that
the owner OF a sealskin sacquei finally laws |
it away in pickle for Another SEASON te,' 4.
About the guiltiest looking people in I