Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-07-25
Good fima-lnnch inc.

OOOQ IlLQe-luIlCll llule.
True to the core: Apple worm.
To remove weeds Marry a widow
A great tail-bearer: The peacock.
An important suit: The first Jacket
and trousers.
The Bosnians are on the Save, and so
is about every one else these times.
Ginger isnot considered a very sleepy
compound, but We have all heard of GIN
gers nap.
Weare the most paradoxical creatures.
We use blotting DaDer to keep from
blotting paper.
A new shade in dress goods is called
Hlees of wine" We suppose it Is used a
great deal in night caps.
Red used on a railway signifies dan
ger, and means "Stop." 1t is the same
thing displayed on mans nose.
Thomas King, of French Camp, Cali
fornia, sheared forty-five sheep in five
hours recently. He did it by sheer en-
ergy.
A chrome agent who thoroughly can
yassed the town last week, can point out
the house where resides the man who
wears the heaviest boots and has the
strongest motive power in his right leg. /
An aristocratic papa, on being request
ed by rich and vulgar young fellow for
permission to marry zone of his girls"
gave this rather crushing reply: 'Cer-
talnly; which would you prefer. the
waitress or the cookP'
Whenever a man begins to feel that
hn To On. that i
ing In the middle of the road waiting for
him to come by, it is about time for his
friends to look up some soft place in a
lunatic asylum to lay him down in.
The most unhappy Of all men is the
man who cannot tell what he is going
to do, that has got no work cut out for
him in the world, and does not go into
any. For work is the grand cure of all
the maladies and miseries that ever be-
set mankind-honest work which you
intend getting done.
AT recent marriage in a suburban
town, the bridegroom, when asked the
important question if he would take the
bride for better or for worse, replied in
hesitating manner: "Well, 1 think I
Will" Upon being told that he must be
more positive in his declaration, he re-
piled: "Well, don't care # I do"
The FRENCH PEoPIE.-Miss Muloch
says, in writing of France: 6Whether
We recognize it or not. there is. in the
various races which make up the aggre-
gate French people, an element of
strength, frmness, sincerity, faithfulness,
as grand as anything in our nation
Probably 1t turks deepest, and comes out
clearest, amid the old Huguenot blood"
A Memphis lady wrote to a friend in
the north: 81 believe the plague has
made q UniVeTsalist of me. have seen
men in a moment rise from the depths
of degradation and Wickedness to Christ
like sublimity in devotion and sacrifice,
and the most polluted of my own sex
suddenly changed into angels of love
and mercy. Thus God teaches US to
scorn none of His creatures"
In my new enthusiasm (of GONZALES
cence from sickness), says Hawthorne,
man looked strong and stately. and wo-
man, o how beautiful !-and the earth a
garden, blossoming with many colored
delights. Thus nature, whose laws I
had broken in various artificial ways,
comported herself towards me as a strict |
but loving mother, who uses the rod up
on her little boy for naughtiness, and |
then gives him a smile, kiss, and some |
pretty playthings to console the urchin |
for her severity.
1t appears that in Great Britain are
published ,SS5 newspapers and SIS peri
odieals, which, with ffty-six organs of !
learned and other societies, make a total |
of 2,759 publications, 486 newspapers
and 598 periodicals being contributed by |
London alone. Of the newspapers 542 |
are liberal, 331 conservative or conserve
tive liberal, and 941 neutral. Three
hundred and ninety-eight of the peri |
odicals. deal exclusively with religious
questions. There are 287 illustrated |
papers, Of which thirty-three have
colored illustrations. Questions relat-
ing to labor are treated of in fourteen
newspapers, while there are 104 prints
representing trades and trade societies.
A prominent citizen was observed
q short time since sitting on a beer keg i'm
front of a leading saloon, apparently ex-
hausted to last degree. Another han
pened along, and with considerable con-
eern asked what was the matter.
"I've been TO church," sighed the
mol"
Fact; first time in eight years,
though. Whewl"
What church did You 60 TOT"
The Episkipple. WheWl /"
What the devil ails you, man?"
Well, it amt no place for man to
60 to that puts in a weeks hard work.
and wants to rest on Sunday. What
with gettin' up an ;kneelin,' an bendin'
ones back an straightenin' it, an Chip
pm in to help the parson out, felIer
might as well put in an hour an a half
at gymnasium.
1t is too much like work.
Then the two prominent citizens went
into the leading saloon and played ne
dro and hoisted beer for five hours with.