Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1879-01-31
Tie True Story.

It is useless longer to conceal the fact
that Stauuton society is torn from
l, its centre to its outskirts by conflicting
clubs. Few people understand why Miss
! Pettingill does not speak to Miss Fergu.
son, or why Miss Ferguson has registered
on high an oath that Miss Pettingill shall
never dance at her club. The approach of
Lent, season in which all heartb1rnings
must be adjudicated by explanation OF
otherwise, has made it obligatory on this
journal to ascertain the origin of all this
trouble, and our reporter has interviewed
Reginald DeCourcey, who, besides being
Leading member of Society, is a Brevet
1t. Colonel in the S. M. A. Light In.
fantry.
"You see," said the Colonel, stopping
to put an additional polish on his breast
button with his handkerchief, "women are
very queer. and man hardly knows how
to handle their rows.''
We remarked that we had known man
or two lose his scalp in the attempt.
''But man of the world" here the
Colonel polished up another button,
"knows better than to mix IN them. Now
that whole thing grew out Of a parrot"
ga parrot ~ we exclaimed, thinking
the Colonels mind was wandering back
to the South American division Of his
geography lesson that morning.
"a green parrot! You see club met
one night at a house where they haye a
parrot. One Of those talking fellows that
begins at daylight, and so prompt on time
that you can hear all the boarders tumbling
out of bed before sunrise aad hunting
around for boot jacks and stove legs to jog
his memory with. if he'd only put his head
outside. He talked through his nose dread
full. Well, that night, Miss Bolivar"
"Patsey?"
"Wen," said the Colonel, with dignity,
''She's Mss Boliver now. She's been out
a couple of seasons. She's nearly fifteen.
I'VE apologized at once.1 Miss Bolivar
was sitting outside with her partner. They
were sitting in the shade. for the moon
light Was intensely oppressive, when some
one screamed, Don't! Do-n-t!' What
am doing?' says the escort, who couldn't
see why Miss Bolivar should make all that
fuss about nothing. "Let 5000 my
ha-a-a-nd,' screamed the voice. I amt
got your hand says the young man in
cold perspiration. Let 20 e-e-e.' In the
name of gracious goodness says the young
man, hat is the matter with you?' By
tl4is time they had got out into the moon
light. L haven't said word, Clarence
whispered Miss Bolivar. as white as a
sheet, 1t must be ghosts When they
got into the ball room everybody was look
ing like they were glad 1t wasn't them.
sand would you believe me-" said the
Colonel twisting fresh cigarette, "it was
that blessed parrot after all but nobody
knew it. Then they started club where
a clause against aDsentees- that's what
they called bush whacking'-was inserted
in the constitution, and then more clubs
came and may never raise moustache
if they haven't been fighting ever since.
And all about that deuced parrot.
''And the parrot 20
Hes broke his neck I hope," said the
Colonel, polishing couple of buttons vic
iously. "Last Sunday he was staving
drunk and couldn't see how far the pave
ment was, and tried to step out of thirty
foot window on to bald headed man
below, thinking it was the door step.
He found out his mistake in a minute
and as he turned bottom up screamed out
something about wanting cracker. He
got it when he got to the bottom"
And this is the true and veritable story
of the present tempest raging in Staunton
society, as told us by leading society
man and military man to boot, for whom
this establishment had the honor to print
his visiting cards last week, red edge and
turned down at the upper right-hand
corner.