The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1879-08-08

hci husban' shcwanted law passed
to make him a'bigger silly than he is now,
(though she ought to be satisfied, lau' knows
he's too no-account fur the fool killers use,)
but she wanted him to wash dishes, ap'
cook, an mind the children, thcy'vc got
the John Rodgers complement, an peel
pertaters, an dry apples by way. .fof recrea-
ton. Seq Kate Langston, That's right,
Miss Jones, fair play an no favors! One
ole woman in corner would keep holl,rid'
out to Miss Skinfints to ask the price O
chickens-she used to jew the poor ole
crcctur awful-two young airty gals wuz
whisperin' to Miss Saffrons, to bring the
last new fashion fur Sacks an lend them
the patterns first ones !; an sum several,
both MARI dian, single, were cryin' out that
u law must be past to put down the lnde-
pendent Order of Odd Felcrs. Mercy
sez Kate Langstvn, what's the use that's
what our, sex is doin' every day, by the laws
Of lIighmcn-we don't go in fur sooper-
fluities, can put down tho independence
of half dozen right here, an I'll change
one at least from odd to even, before many
summers are ever, I'll be bound So it
wuz agreed to let the odd fcllcrs alsHo fur
the present, seein' as how in tho course of
natur' they must all at sum time or another
be eXtarminated. But scz Kate, sez she,
there's another matter nearer home that
must be laid afore this powerful convention,
an stopped Immediately. There is set Of
mean, or'nary, low-hung scoundrels, goin'
about the kcdntry, pryin' into other folks
consarns, and takin' away their census.-
Goodness knows if they're let run on what
will become Of us, fur men haint got the
sense the law allows 'em now. It's real, low
lived persecutin' sez she, got up on pur-
pose somehow or another to put money in
the pockets of some poor kin of theirs, that
that they 60 their deths fur, an call 'Uncle
SAM, an ole: mean, stingy, lazy good-fur
uothin, I'll be bound! Then they all
agreed to pat stop to this sstem of takin'
away what little senses men had, poor inno-
cents-an' Katc-I thought the vixen
would a died the deth of the wicked-sho
LATED, an laffcd, till the tears rolled over
her rosy checks, an her great black eyes
sparklcd like diamonds. Well, SO they went
on fur plum three hours-at last 'twuz no
tilted to the meetin' that Miss Saffrons
would read 'em the speech she had writ to
speak in the convention. They KEEP hol.
lerin' Order Order, but it 'peared like
that Order preferred not to cum-till
Kate Langston, all of suddint, sprung up
on cheer, an pullin' off her ridin' cap.
calls out, hats off, gentlemen then strik.
in thundcria' blow on the table with her
whip-'Silcncc all creation an few OF
tho rest Of mankind, not to mention the
wimmcu an children ! They wur all as
mute rs mice in a miuit, an Miss Saffrons
asccndin' the cheer beguu-I never should
a minded her long s'ring O diukssrvuhy
but lvo hccrd Kate Langston' speak il
right off twenty times sencc, an I've Ger
a most larncd it DC heart. Sez Miss SAT
irons, seq shc-I mean Tcd0 she-scz she
rcadin' like
public speakin' before sich highfalutin' au
dienccs My idces hcv been SO poor Of late
that Id grato notion Of putin 'em out to
grass prevyus to this monuncntuous occa.
shun. Yet here / stand before you a specklcd
lermit, wrapt in the riscn.sun countcrpane
of my popularity, an intcndin', Providence
pcrmttin', and the creek don't rise to go
1t blind " 7trant mau amt goin' to be
abls to pick himself up arter the 'cumelatcd
talons Of this Convention hes strickn down
on his devoted he'd like vials O. wrath, or a
thousand o brick (,aint no odds which Of
them tiggerativc inundos you take, feller.
sufferers, both's exprcssivc) Feller- citizens!
I'm orc great big dispisc fur the hull maska,
line creeation (cept six)-as remarked on
the forcgoin line, fcllersistcrn, l In agin man
Pm right plum furncnst the hull crew,
from Deacon Snook's cow boy down to Gu.
pid, Venus an Highman (thcm's ones you
read about,) it don't make a diff o bitter
eEcc their all 'bominable, 'bominablcr, bonn
inablcst-'spccially sic as Munroo Ed.
wards, the Wandering jew, an Paganni
an fur all the last wuz both a pagan an
4 ninny, 'twa'nt So much worse than the
rest, fur they're all hcathons an stiles to,
gcthcr
Here she stopped 10 get breath, and Kate
Langston struck the table another thunder.
in lick, cryin' out--'IIt 'cm again they've
got no trends
Miss Saflrons pursccded- Fclcr.soldicrs
an martyrs wimmcn has rights, an they're
Soin' to hare them rights, in spite of hus
bans or Ilottsntots You've seen Caesar q
crossin' the Rockibun-youve seen Bony
partc q crossin the river Alps-you'v ve soon