The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-02-21
REPLY TO "X..
FROM ONE OF THE CHILDREN. :"


ing been assailed in your paper, over the
anonymous signature 'tX," it is due the
parties attacked, that a defense be made as
public as the assault. Preparatory to such
a public .rebuke, as the perpetrator richly
deserves, 1 am sure yon will cheerfully
grant me space, at least, to advertise my
challenge. The obnoxious sentence that
calls ME out, is only one Of a long article,
and the nearest true of any assertion made.
The sequel will show how true.
Speaking of the Siletz Indian school, ''X''
pompously exclaims, ''Of course the school
don't amount to much when couple of
children can teach it who have not sufficient
age and experience to teach a common dis
trict school" AS for my assistant, though
younger than myself, she is of age and can
speak for herself. But this will not be nee
essary, since she has a reputation that will
modestly take care of itself. This is not
the case with me, shall have to contend
for my rights. therefore challenge '.X''
to meet me i'll any public place, the more
public the better, and 1 shall prove to him
and the public, that l have at least physical
ability to govern an Indian School. :
Judging from the mastery style of the
sentence and from the manly signature. the
public must know that ''X" is model of
physical aud intellectual manhood. He is
no Pearl or Minion ''X, " nor bold faced,
lubberly Plea, neither is he an inflated Great
Primer, but a regular wiry, spiking Long
Primer 'tX."
Now, if 1 can cope with such man, of
course l win the day. Well, l am ready to
measure length, breadth, depth, strength or
speed with him. propose that we publish
before hand regular programme of Gales
thenic and Gymnastic exercises, closing
with some of the most exciting games, such
as require skill and dexterity. I am sure
can beat him at everything except marbles,
see-saw, and ''Simon says Thumbs Up"
By the way. ''X'' and I have just finished
public game of Glide and Go Seek" At
ter failing several times in his secrecy, he
said, Forester, lets have another game, I'll
beat you this time. You count and I'll run
hide"
All right-one, two, three, four, five, six
| but l kept one eye open on him all tie
time. Finding no hiding place in Corvallis
he fastened to Albany and, after pacing
around and around, up and down the streets,
the ostrich imagines he has found conceal
ment at last, seven, eight, nine, ten,
forty nine, fifty. "AH eyes open!" Then
l espy ''X' among the rubbish in the Demo
crat Office.
eyes. but that's not fair, sir, Mr.. Fores.
ter; you watched me all the time. Now
you've got to count again, sir
Well, here goes: one, two, three can't
count for laughing. 1t is more than anus
ing to see his long primer strides towards
Salem. Entering the Statesman Office he
cries out to the compositor, "Say, stranger,
have you a place here where fellow Gan
hide" Then in an excited and hurried
manner he proceeds " am from Newton.
My name is A-mer-i-cus If any one calls
for me don't tell where I am-say, where
shall I hide:'
"What do l care, where you hide ?" says
the typo impatiently-''there behind that
pile of boxes"
So '.X" thinks, 81 am safe now." But !
see his giant form looming up above the
boxes. AH eyes open!" l spy "X" there be,
hind the "CRACKER BOXES"
1t was truly pitiful to see A-sorry -cus
come out whining -"they lied to me; soas
told there acre eighty bores, and there only
! twenty-three.
Very well, ''X," you may have another
chance. Delighted, he turns toward Port
and up to the editors chair, in breathless
excitement, he whispers to that dignitary,
"Sir, am engaged in a game of Hide and
Go Seek'-and- and the fact is-the stakes
are very large If | win am to recover g
lost position, or perhaps what is better, the
finest tract of land in the beautiful valley
Of the Siletz. Sir, 1 hope you will secrete
me. am Vindex. from Yaquina Bay.
The editor slowly, but searchingly scans
him full length, and replies-"Well, Mr.
Vindix-what is your name sir, Vindictive ?
'.vindex, sir. 81 so, yes, Mr.. Vindex. Well,
Mr.. Vindex, the rules of this Office can pro
tect you only till an authorized person calls
| for your name. Then, sir, we have to dunn
you out.
At this disappointment "X'' flew into {
passion an6 declared he would retrace his
steps and fight his way through.
Stand back, gentlemen, ttX'' is coming
out in his true character, now. He is in
rage, he will demolish any one that comes II
his way, he would even attack his old white
headed grandfather, or the best friend hi
has on earth.
So you see, am ahead SO far, and have
nothing to fear in future encounters fol
when man loses self possession he is whip
ped, and you can handle him as you would
a sick kitten.
As for our comparative mental qualifca
tions, have nothing to say, I shrink from
the comparison. The master mind that con
ceived, and the polished scholar that framed
that gem of grammatical symmetry, and
rhetorical beauty at the head of this article
would defy all criticism. True my pupil
; smile at it and point out what they call ele
gance, and grammatical fallacies, but moth
ling better could be expected of uncultivatet
tchildren.
] Now must close by challenging tx" 3
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