davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1879-03-01

it. This Derby has undoubtedly SUI
pcrhuous development of humor. But
he is shrewd and ingenious, and really
fine draughtsman. He has valuable
qualities. You can organize court
that will convict him, but you will bc
the butt of ridicule ON account Of it all
your life. Better file the suggestions
of the crook-and.ring and the lively ro-
tary mule, and say nothing
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1879-03-01
Horticultural Notes.

The estimated number of horses in
the United States is 100000, Illinois
ranking first in number.
It is said that lice may be kept from
poultry by placing pieces OF bark OF
the sassafras root in their nest.
The best of all soils on which to es-
tablish a poultry-yard is gravel, or sand
resting on substratum of gravel.
The epizootic has made its appear
ance at North Amherst, Ohio, and has
done great damage among horses.
The expectation of eggs is becoming
one of the staple industries of Canada.
Over half million dollars worth have
been shipped to the states this year, be-
sides large quantities to England. The
bulk of this trade is done in the fan,
when the eggs. which have been in
pickle of brine and lime, are taken out,
dried and carefully packed in bran, oats
or cbopped straw. If the pickle Is pro-
perlv made, they come ont fresh and
sweet. s.r.
If is said that the cut-worn never
damages crops on land where sheep
have been pastured the year before
planting: -,
The winter meeting of the national
ao1icultural congress will be held at
Nashville, February 18th to 9th, inclu-
sfye
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1879-03-01

BLACK & Co., of Philadelphia, have
concluded contract with the Mexican
government to build railroad from
Matamoros to Laguna Madre, q distance
of about one hundred miles. The same
firm has also contract for building
canal of sixty miles through the lagoon.
The railroad and the canal are to be
finished in two years. 4d 10 s3l,
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1879-03-01

AN Englishman was once boasting to
a Yankee that they had book in the
British Museum which was once owned
by Cicero. 81" Oh, that amt nothin',"
retorted the Yankee. "In the museum
in Bosting they've got the lead pencil
that Noah used to check off the animals
that went into the ark" % y+ti4f
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1879-03-01
Cured Him Of Poker.

A correspondent of the Pittsburg
Leader writes from Steubenville: A
young Steubenvillian, an insurance
agent by occupation, while at Pitts
burgh, some time since, became enam-
ored with fair daughter Of the Smo-
ky City," the result of which was n
wedding. Before this important event
took place, he was gay and festive
young man, loving his little bit of. fun
now and then. His principal pastime
in those days was the enticing game Of
poker. When he married he registered
a promise with his young wife that he
would stop this sortof amusement, and
for a time kept it faithfully. But the
temptation was too strong for him, and
he began to indulge slyly in his favorite
pastime. He associated with a party of
young bloods, whoseinclinations tended
in the same direction as his. Little by
little he became involved in the excite
ment of the play, until it was a nightly
occurrence, and seldom did he arrive
home until his spouse had been in bed
for a number of hours. This, his wife
at last concluded, was notsas it should
be. and determined unknown to him)
to go on a accommodating excursion to
discover the cause. The playing was
done in his office. One night, just af-
ter the clock had tolled out the hour OF
twelve, when those assembled together
were deeply interested over couple OF
" full hands," and betting their nickles
with the rashness of California bonan-
20 king, there came rapping and a
tapping at the door. Directly silence
equal to that in deaf and dumb asy-
lum took place. This continued until
another rapping and tapping took
place, when the insurance agent in
quired, in frightened tone, Who's
there?" Then the voice of his bride
broke the stiffness, demanding admit
lance. He very earnestly entreated
her, if she loved him, to return home,
and he would soon follow, but she
would not go. In trepidation he loos-
ened the bolt and met the angry glance
of his wife, which caused him to trem-
BILE and stammer out an excuse. Her
glance took in the situation, and smile
of contempt curled her lip. The rest
of the party we're huddled together in a
corner like flock of frightened sheep,
and when she maiestically pointed to
the door with her finger, skunk out
without thought of the " chips they
were leaving behind. Then she turned
to her recreant lord, and gave him a
piece of her mind in language as forcl-
BILE as that used by Demosthenes or CT
cero. The last seen Of the pair was as
they were vending their way home
ward. she still continuing the curtain
lecture. The only consolation the luck
less husband had was the gain of few
dimes. He had been the banker on
this evening, and his associates having
gone off and left their chips behind,
he very coolly, the next day, when they
demanded their redemption, told them
to produce the chips and lie would re-
deem them.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1879-03-01

THERE is village in New Hampshire
which has produced twenty-six editors.
1t was in allusion to this circumstance
that pious deacon remarked Yes,
there are twenty-six of 'em, but as
they've all left the town, I reckon the
Lord won't lay it up agin u.s."
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1879-03-01

AxEEIca WHITE Is the name Of col
ored woman in Kentucky, and Africa
Black is the name Of a white woman in
Ohio.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1879-03-01

MANY years ago DR.. Williams, IN
English clergyman, had a violent quar-
rel with one of his parishioners by the
name of Hardy. On the succeeding
Sunday the doctor preached from the
following text, pronouncing it with
much emphasis There is no fool like
the fool Hardy" a+.'
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1879-03-01

ANOTHER of the 10000 unmarried
white women of Massachusetts, has de-
serted the ranks of the maiden sister
hood for the arms of naturalized Chi
naman. There is probably this advant-
age about marrying Chinaman, that
the bride will never have to take in
washing to support him.
SPEAKING of dull times. wicked
Mobile man says that few weeks ago
IA stranger arrived there and bought Il
bale of cotton, and n pleasant rumor
was at once started that the cotton buy
ers had arrived. but it only proved to be
q Chicago man with the earache
MAMMA" said wicked youngster,
" Am ! canoe?" "No, child, why do
YOU ask?' "Oh. because Won always
say you like to see people paddle their
own canoe, and j didn't know but may
be / was yours?" The boy went ont
of the door with more reference to
speed than grace.
SHE figured up: 1.-TWO cans at 20 cts,
40 cts.-that is $50 oysters; milk, butter
and sundries, 81 so; water nothing:
total, Il 90. That is $50 stews at 25
cents, will be $40 90. A net profit of
over $50 co." Thon she smiled sweetly,
and the FISHERMAN knew that che was
the refreshment committee of the churh
festival
WHAT is fashion? Dinners at mid
night and headaches in the morning.
What is wit? That peculiar kind Of
talk that that leads to pulling noses and
broken heads. What is Joy? To count
your money, and find il over run. What
is knowledge? To be away from home
when people come to borrow books and
umbrellas. What is contentment? To
sit in the house and see others stuck in
the mud WHAT'S ambition? A desire
to become possessed Of a leg and half Of
an eyebrow.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-11-28
Redistribution Echoes.

"HOw does antimOny occur in ma
ture 7" at is generally found in the
bones of herbivOrOus animals"
GLOW would you make water dis
solve more sugar than it would under
ordinary conditioner "Put in more
water"
"What will be the effect if | hold a
piece of calcite in the blow-pipe flame ~
sit will get hot.n
'What were the peculiar character
istics of the SaxonsP; ''Respect for
their wives"
"Who led the Normans ?" "Alexan-
der"
"How long did the Thirty Years
War last ?" eighteen years."
''What is the fundamental condition
of existence 2" Cline"
GLOW do you explain that ?" every
easily. How can Il person exist if he
hasn't the time for it ?"
GLOW was Martin Luther killed u
"He was accommodated by a bull.'
"Why was the tower of Babel called
Babel 2" because Babel built it SIR
''What is graphite ?" "Black lead.r
''Where is it found ~ SIN lead pen
ellis, SIR
''If you were at the seashore during
the Summer, you must have observed
this peculiar refraction of light upon
the water. No? Well, what did you
observe, sir ?" "WelI, girls-and CLAIMS
and-er''--(Audible approvaD.
"Will you be good enough to men,
ton few examples of elastic bodies p
India rubber, steel and-a-a-lot OF
other things"
SIS water elastic 2" "Why, no sir
no, sir. You can't take a ball of water
and throw it and expect it to bound
back, can your
''What is the meaning of the authors
allusiOn to Blanche of CASTLE, Mr.. K. p
"Well -er-l suppose he is alluding
to some brand Of-soap."
"If | should put on green glasses and
view this class would | not be deceived
in their appearance ?" "Well-no,
don't think you would"
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-11-28
A Singular Story from Hartford.

The story is told of Hartford gen.
lehman who lost 500 in bills, and re-
membering that he had had the money
last at his butchers, went there to learn
that just after he had left man came
to the shop to make some purchases.
He felt in his pocket as if he had lost
something. Then looking down he
saw roll of bills on the floor, picked
it up and counted it. There was just
800, and from it he paid for what he
had bought. A week later the second
person returned the 500 to the first,
with the following strange explanation
On the day referred to he had been out
to Windsor to collect some money, and
in his haste to return to Hartford thrust
it, 800 in bills, as he supposed, into
his vest pocket. When he went into
the market above referred to, he nat
urally felt for his money, and missing
it, looked around for it, and saw the
roll on the floor, which he supposed
was his own. He had used it during
the week, and only on that day had he
put on his working coat. While at
work he wanteu match, and in feel
ing through the pockets of his coat to
his astOnishment he found the 800 he
had put there instead of into his vest
pocket. As soon as possible he went
to the market to see if any one had lost
that sum of money, and this led to a
general settling all around. He did
not know at that time that he had been
of the theft, and did not i'm
agine that he was in danger of arrest.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-11-28
fnr hr Children.
Little Johnny's Bear Story.

An now I'll tell you story about a
bear. One day the bear, he went among
a flock of Sleeps and picked out nice
little lamb and cot it, and the lamb it
said "Ba ba ba - cos it knew it was a
going to be ct evry little tiny bit up.
But the bear he took it up in his fore
pos, like it was baby, and set it up
full length and rocked it and said:
''There, there, never mind, my pre-
shus darlin. Where does it hurt you 2"
But that lamb kept hOllerin louder
and louder, COS while the bear was a
smilin and singin hush by, he was a
skaweezin liter and liter all the time.
Bime-by the old ram he seen what was
up, and he dropt his head, the old ramb
did, and come up like he was shot out
OF Il gun, and let him have it, and dou-
bled him up like razor, and sent him
a rOllin over and over without any pre-
shus darlin. And when the bear had
pulled hisself together again and shuk
the dust out of his hair, he said:
al have observed that lambs tails
was quicker'n lightnin, but | didn't
know they was powerfully, too"
Jest then he seed how it was, for
there stood the old ramb a hOldin down
his head, ready to let him have it agin,
and shakin it like he he'd, he said:
"That little shaver wudent make
more'n a mOuthtul for Teller like you.
l guess you better serve up the old
man."
But the bear he wOcked off shakiu
hisn, too, much as to say:
al don't banker after dinner which
goes against my stomach like that 7"
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-11-28
To You---Whoever You Are.

The latest scientific wonder that has
dropped into trade and elbOwed its
way into the advertising columns OF
the press is the glass castor that insu-
lates your bed. 1t is the same old show
under the same old tent. Electricity,
you know. 1t insulates your bed and
keeps your electricity from running off
while you sleep. You understand how
the old thing works of course. Cures
rheumatism, insomnia, cOrns, old bun
ions, sprains, consumption, general de-
bility, dyspepsia, colds, neuralgia pains,
cholera, malarial fevers, ague sore
throat, ingrowing nails, distemper,
cracked hoof, bronchitis, asthma, saddle
gals, scratches, heaves and hydrOpho-
bia. You remember, do you not, when
il slab of blue glass, eight inches long
and four inches wide, placed in the front
window of house, cured everybody
of everything within circuit of four
squares? Well, this is the same old
thing; another cOpartnership of sci
ence (?) and trade under Il new name.
1t is an erratum; "for blue glass read
glass insulator." Try it9 Why, of
course, try it. Buy a set right away
for every bed in your house. If some
men should say that horse shoe car
ried in each hand would cure dyspepsia,
every man in America would go around
looking like boy trying to raise his
circus money, until the next craze came
along. o yes, you'll try it. About
this time next year you'll lie about it
and say you never had one of the things
in your house. We know you.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-11-28
Out-Witting a Lion.

A Bushman, while long way from
his home, was met by lion. The lion,
assured that he had his victim COM
pletely in his power, began to sport and
daily with him with a feline jOcosity
which the poor little Bushman failed to
appreciate. The lion would appear at
a point in the road, and leap again into
the jungle, to reappear little further
on. But the Bushman did not lose his
presence of mind, and presently hit up
on device by which he might possibly
out-wit his foe. This plan was suggest
ed by the lions own conduct. Aware
that the brute was ahead of him, he
lodged to the right, and feeling pretty
sure of the lions whereabouts, resorted
to the course of quietly watching his
movements.
When the lion discovered that the
man had suddenly disappeared from
the path he was good deal perplexed.
He rOared with modification, when he
espied the Bushman peeping at him
over the grass. The Bushman at once
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-11-28

changed his position, while the lion
stood irresolute in his path, following
with his eye the shifting black man. In
another moment the little man Tustled
the weeds, vanished, and showed again
at another point.
The great brute was first confused
and then alarmed. 1t evidently began
to dawn upon him that he had mistaken
the position of matters, and that he was
the hunted party. The Bushman, who
clearly recognized what was passing in
his enemy's mind, did not pause to let
the lion recover his startled wits. He
began to steal gradually toward the foe,
who, now in complete state of doubt
and fear fairly turned tail and decamped,
leaving the plucky and ingenious little
Bushman master of the situation.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-11-28
Religinns Reading.
Offer Unto God Neutrality-suspicious. so: 1

Enter into his gates with thanksgiv-
ing, and into his courts with praise; be
thankful unto him, and bless his name.
Ps. 100: 4.
o give thanks unto the Lord, for he
is good for his mercy endureth for
ever.
o give thanks unto the-God of gods /;
for his mercy endureth forever.
o give thanks unto the Lord of lords (;
for his mercy endureth forever.
o give thanks unto the God of heav-
en-; for his mercy endureth forever.
Ps. l36: l-3, 26.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-11-28
CLOTHING
TO THE PEOPLE.

We have just received and
placed upon our counters for
sale for CASH, the largest
stock of Ready-made Clothing
and Gentlemen's Furnishing
Goods, Hats and Caps, ever
before shown between Boston
and Montreal. These goods
have been purchased from the
manufacturers direct, and will
be sold at prices that defy
competition. We have the
nobbiest line of Young Mems
Suits ever shown in this town,
and made especially for us, for
our young mems trade. Single
and Double Breasted Sack
Suits, and English Getaway
Walking Suits. Overcoats
and listers in new and ele-
giant patterns, from $500 up
wards. We have suits for
boys, suits for middle-aged
men, suits for young men and
suits for old men, and suits for
anybody in fact, that has the
cash to pay for them. And
we are bound to sell these
goods at prices that will make
our neighbors show the white
feather.
N. B. Under no circum-
stances shall we misrepresent
goods.
We have the largest line of
Valises and Shopping
Bags in town. Also a large
line of Umbrellas, Canes, Etc.
Having taken the Boynton
store adjoining ours, we have
now more room to show our
Robes, Etc. We have lined
and unlined Buffalos, Hudson
Bay, Prairie and Japanese
Wolf Robes, Coon Robes,
Coon and Buffalo Coats, and
we say right here that we
have the largest line and best
assortment of these goods
that can be found in the State.
We have also a large line of
Horse Blankets Square Blank
cts, Lap Robes, &C., which we
shall sell as low as the lowest.
For the benefit of our Farmer
Friends, and those living out
of town, we would like to
quote a few prices, but these
goods must be seen and ex-
amined to be appreciated.
Now, friends, is your time
to buy, and the place is the
store of the St. Johnsbury
Clothing Co., corner of Main
and Central Sts., next door
north of the St. Johnsbury
House.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-11-28
BUILDING MATERIALS

For sale; timber, joice, boards clapboards and
laths, cedar and spruce shingle, doors, windows,
blinds, mOuldings, brackets ladders, hardware for
building lime. paints, wall paper and everything
necessary for building. L will not be undersOld or
underbd by any one that will pay 100 cents on the
dollar Give me your plans and let me job and
you will not have any more trouble about it. Blinds
in the white, or painted, trimmed and hung to or
der For want of space 1 will not name the bull
dings that have built, being over 80 in number,
mostly dwelling houses. stores and horse barns,
scattered all over this village. So my references
are all the leading business men and the men !
have built for in this town. 1 deliver lumber and
material to all parts of the city.
Thanking my numerous friends for their liberal
patronage, l am now prepared to do all kinds of
work by the day job at prices suit the times.
will furnish all the materials for building not,
as desired by parties wishing to build take jobs
from the bottom of the cellar to the top of the
chimneys. Plans and specifications furnished when
desired. By being prompt and attentive TO bust
ness, hope to merit continuance of your past
favors and share of the public patronage.
WANTED-Fifty thousand feet of clear, dry
spruce bass and pine lumber.
Residence Railroad street, opposite Portland
street.
ST. JOhnsbury, March, 1879.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-11-28
H 0W To Save M 0NEY
ISAT
Randall's Drug Store.

He is doing business on a new plan, that is
CASH
and by so doing can and will sell
Drugs, Patent Medicines, Fancy Articles
PAINTS, Oils, FarRiSheS, Glass, Put
ty, Paint Brushes, DC, de-.
Cheaper than any other Drug House in town. tax
ing quantity and quality in consideration.
1 have just added to my stock the best assortment
of
Apple Wood. Brier Wood, and Real
Meerschaum Pipes
ever in town, and selling at low water mark Also
all the Fancy Brands of
SMOKING and CHEWING TOBACCO.
A Good Assortment OF BIRD CAGES
Selling Very Low.
Also a line of Pocket Cutlery, Scissors,
Shears, ReUoIUers, Pocket Books,
Wallets, dc.
AGENT FOR
Holman Liver Pad Remedies.
Johnston's Dry Sized Kalsome for walls.
Averil Ready Mixed Paints for outside and inside
work.
John W. Masay & Sons Ready Mixed Paints and
Fine Coach COlOrs.
All of the brands of Strictly Pure Leads.
All can say is call and get my prices before you
purchase No trouble to show goods or answer
questions. Hoping by doing legitimate business
may have share of your trade same as before
the raid
GEO. D, RANDALL.
RandalPs Block, r. R. ST., st. bloomsbury.
P. S. Physicians Prescriptions carefully COM
pounded day and night.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-11-28
Estates.

STATE OF VERMONT, CALEpoN1, NJ
- In Probate Court, held at the Probate 6aI IS
St Johnsbury in said District, on the 1stb oee
November A. d. 1879. A0'h Jay of
George P. Blair, administrator upon tho
Moses Gilllan ID, late of Barnet in said d Of
deceased, presents his administrator auistlc
IOr examination and allowance, and make o 60,
cation for decree of distribution and nart. appi
the estate of said deceased P"i' i1on Of
Whereup9n, it is ordered by said Court. that 49,,
account and said application be referred to sad
in said St. Johnsbury, on the 9th daW @, Qfce
A;D 1872 for hearing and decision thereon Ahsc
is further ordered that notice hereof be cn nnd
all persons interested, by publication of the en-
paper published at st. Johnsbury previous TO- news
time appointed for hearing that they NAV W w
at said time and place, and show cause if ann RI
may have, why said account should not be ailol3
and such decree made O"e
By the Court, Attest,
$40 HENRY FRENCH, Reo;s..
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-11-28

n - "a WEEK in your own town. and -.
u capital risked. You can give II. no
u m - business a trial without exnen Me
VU The best opportunity ever Offered fer
- - those willing to work. You sbanIj
try nothing else until you see a'T r
yourself what you can do at the business we oa
No room to explain here. You can devote all von
time or only your spare time to the business ' oi
make great pay for every hour that Won WOW nIu
Women make as much as men. Send for snania
private terms and particulars, which we mail f, a
s. Outfit free. Don't complain of hard times WIZ
you have such chance. Address H. HALLTTFT
& CO., Portland, Maine. tJunas5
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-11-28
ON 80 DAYS TRIAL

We will send our ELECTRO-VOLTAIC BELTS
and other Electric Appliances upon trial for 30
days to those suffering from Nervous Debility
rheumatism Paralysis or any diseases of the Liver
or Kidneys, and many other diseases. \ SURE
Cure guaranteed or no pay. Address VOLTAU
BELT Co, Marshall. Mich Eg
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-11-28

m6F AATO $4,000 A YEAR, or s. to So
Hday in your own locality NoSSgGa
OEJUUW Won Women do t as well II as men. Ma Many
above. No one can fail to make money fast aO
one can do the work You can make from "a ~!
to 81 an hour by devOting your evenings and srs'
time to the business. 1t costs nothing to try ~
business. Nothing like it TOR money making eveI
orable Reader, if you want to know all about m
best paying business before the public send n
and private terms free samples worth SIS also r,
you can then make up your mind for yourseI,
Address GEORGE STINSON & CO., Portland
Maine. tJ, u,.5au