Daily globe., 1879-06-08
Wit and HulnOr.
There was an old man in Montana,
At one gulp tried to gorge banana,
It stuck i'm his throat


It stuck in his throat.
And he straightway did float
To the beautiful land Of Hosanna.
aYouth is the saucy-age of life.
Did you ever have a pig invite you to
his souse?
IT'S butter step from the cream pan to
the churn.
Song Of the dry goods clerk -"swing-
ing in delainc.''
The airs in an opera singers head are
all numbered.
Dressmakers and butchers are ever
weltering in gore.
A gambler would rather let you out
than let you win.
A chattle mortgage is lean and hungry
"Cash-us"
When you want to raise the wind, the
mil]ion-air is pretty nice.
Wine is the key which fits the paddock
OF a mans secrecy. So is beer.
Always keep your boots clean, for
cleanliness is divine attri-boot.
The man who was lost in slumber prob
ably found his way out on nightmare.
Landlords are loosing so much by their
tenants that they ought to get up an in
sure-rents company.
The force of habit made Scranton
barber ask while shaving a corpse,
"Does the razor hurt?"
We know fisherman who is said to be
crazy, but we are prepared to prove that
he is seine man.
They say strong grasp of the hand
betokens a strong heart. What magni-
fccnt heart a lobster must have.
Ten to one that the woman who says
your children are not "half raised" raises
her own youngsters by the ears.
When man does us a kindness we
call him brick, when he does us an
unkindness we want to hit him with
one
Speaking of generosity, you wouldn't t
call man who had gouged piece out
of the bottom of his foot whole soled
fellow, would you?
Man can do many thing, but there is
one thing he cannot do; he can't button
! on new collar, just after cutting his
thumb-nails without looking up in the
air.
"The reason 1 got my ears boxed,''
said Johnny, twas cause when the mo-
ther said neighbor had borrowed hen
of her, said the lent-hen season had ar
rived"
Little Nephew-'What are fowls,
auntie?' Auntie-"C Creatures with wings,
dear, such as hens and ducks
Little Nephew angels are fowls" too
aren't they, Auntie?''
! Remark of severe parent to blooming
daughtet upon discovering the fact thai
one of the legs of the big chair in the
parlor had been broken the Sunday even
ing previous: II wish you to under
stand Susan, that this chair was con
structed with view to the accommoda.
ton of one person at a time, and has not
the strength and scarcely the capacity
for two
| A short time ago a little boy went with
his father to see colt. He patted the
colts head and made quite fuss over it
until finally the stableman told him to bt
careful thvt the colt did not turn roun6
and kick him. When the little char
went home, his father asked him what ht
thought Of the colt II like him prett,
WE'LL was the reply. Giles real tame il
front, but he's awful wild behind"
II should like to have you raise club,
said 7x9 book-canvasser to daughte
of Erin, as he stood on the front step try
ing to talk her to death on the subject o
the "Extinction Of the Tribes of tn
Seventh Century" 81 will,' said Biddy
as she reached around behind the door
! "but bad luck to your picture if you ar,
lingering around here when get i
raised.'
! Singularly, no one stood up when
wise man at a meeting in Williamson
N. Y, to adopt measures to find out VIII,
sets fire to buildings, suggested: 9Th
shortest way to get at the root of the mat
ter would be for the man who set fire t
the building to rise up in the audlenc
and own the whole thing