The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-10-23
An Episode in a Horse Market.


men in the crowd.
Right here he is,' replied the lank
/ old man, clasping his long legs affec-
| tionately around the body of the animal
upon which he was seated.
The auctioneerS in the six stables were
unable to hold their audiences, and all
| hands gathered around the man and his
| horse. The rider was evidently about
65 years of age, and the horse about the
same. Both were gray. The man was
tOOthless and the horse almost so. Va
riOus comments were made on the
g team," and the crowd piled the old
man with questions with reference to the
animal, something as follows:
- Does he remember Gen. Washing
ton?"
g Can he walk without crutches?n
FDOes he carry an ear-trumpet?n
g Do you have to chew his food for
him?'' etc
One man looked into the horses mouth
and announced that he was ''too old
last spring.
The lank old farmer appeared to be
much pleased with the attention he was
receiving, and, taking off a battered
plug, bowed his acknowledgements to
the crowd.
''Fetch in the winged Pegasus -
yelled the auctioneer, and wen see
what he'll bring
An avenue was quickly made through
the crowd, as many men as could took
hold of the horses bride, one or two
twisted his tail, eight or ten touched
him up with their whips, and thus was
the grand entry made into the stable,
the old man bowling to the right and left,
and plugging the sad-eyed animal in the
! fiankS with his bOOt-heelS
A bid of twenty-five cents was
made.
g ''Shake up Bucephalus,' said the
auctiOneer, ''and let the gentleman look
at his PAGES
The old man belabored the beast to
the rear end of the stable and return,
while dozen watches were pulled on
him, and a dispute followed as to wheth-
er the time was 2 IL or II 2.
''This horse doesn't usually take the
whole end of the barn to turn in" ex-
| planned the auctioneer, ''but he has a
touch of the rheumatism at present.
He'll be all right in the spring. l am
| bid twenty-five cents. Now that you
have seen him move, does the gentle
man wish to withdraw his bid?''
The old man said he didn't like the
| auctiOneer's style, and, as he used to be
in the same business himself, he would,
| if he wasn't so tired and thirsty, get into
the box and sell the horse himself.
At this suggestion, he was dragged
from the saddle, carried to the auction
| eer's stand, and that functionary re-
quested to make room for his uncle.
" 1 must have a drink Of-water, -
said the lank old party, us he spat six
pence and conghed feebly.
''Water be blowed!' cried one of the
crowd; "weH get you the regular old
juice of the juniperberry that will make
your breath smell like a ight-blOoming
cereus,' and he disappeared in saloon
adjoining.
The old party said water was plenty
good enough for him, but the other ar
ticle was produced and he drank it, with
a here 's-tO-you courtesy to the crowd.
''HOw much do / hear for this mag
nificent specimen of hoss flesh which we
have before us?' began the old man with
a flourish. Examine him closely for
blood or bone SPAWN, poll-evil, scratches,
quarter crack, splint, heayes, thumps,
mumps, bumps, dumps, and when you
find one III eat it,
q Fetch grandfather a cocktail - said
a voice, and a cocktail was brought and
drained to the dregs, the old man muir
muring softly, s. here's looking at you'll
q Now, gents, be good enough to bid
up lively. Ny hoss may not be the per-
feet quadruped described in the poem by
Byron, Burns, and George Francis
| Train, but he comes of the same family,
and l have his pedigree at home, and it
runs back to the time of Henry v
q Fetch him a sour-mash!''
% / really ought not to drink any more,
but as you say, it isn't often l come to
town, therefore-my regards!'' -
''Oblige me by bidding up sharp"
"Thirty eents!" yelled a voice
''Thank you. Thirty cents l am bid.
Gentlemen, you needn't be afraid of him.
This is an animal l can recommend.
He won't run down at the heel, cut in
the eye, or shirk in the wash'n. He is
gentle as the suckin' dove, and pulls
ike a five-cent cigar"
ga gin-sling for the ancient mariner!"
q Gentlemen, your liberality is only
exceeded by your generosity, and if my
old woman knew / was feastin' and
drinkin' with the immortal gods she
would sweep down upon us like a Bosom
of destruction in a red petticOat; but
here's hOpin' we may all live to see poll
tics and religion purified and the red
ribbon of temperance encompass the
round earth from Guadalquivir to Kan
sas City
"Fail back for Tom~and Jerry!"
- Really, gentleman, l can't permit
this expense to be all on one side, like
the handle of a coffee-pot, and the mo-
ment / sell this horse III reciprocate, if
l have to walk home, and / live in the
back end of the next county; however
many happy returns!" and the Tom
and Jerry disappeared from the eyes of
the men.
q Now, gents, what do hear for
this-?''
.sTake this life-everlastin',' ex-
claimed a Kentuckian, as he passed up
glass of Robertson County.
The lank old man raised the glass to
a level with his lips, and said:
81 don't care, seein' it's you. | will
put myself outside of this elixir, and then
III show you what this boss can do un-
der the saddle when he knows something
is expected of him. In the meantime
here's my opinioni"
The farmer man was helped to mount
his nag, the crowd fell apart to allow
the pageant TO pass into the street where
it could have elbow room, and as it am
bled along the old man was heard to
observe:
"a whisky straight, cocktail, gin
sling, sour mash, a Thomas and Jere-
miath, life everlastin' from Robertson
County-and the King of the Cannibal
Islands himself couldn't tell what else
amt so bad, by jingol'' and the gray
haired old sinner turned half around in
the saddle, kissed his hand to the crowd,
and shouted:
ssI'u call around again about half-past
O'Clock next spring, and while you re
waitin', you might lay in a new stock of