Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1879-09-09
THE NEW SUMNER RESORT.
rur LATEST THING our IN mGm III

THE LATEST THING OFT ~ HIGH LIFE.
The recent discovery made by the editor
of the Cincinnati Times that every man
has delightful summer resort on the root
of his house has cast gloom along the
entire Scashorc. Il have always held.
said the editor of the Tot,,s to "a reporter,
"that anybody who has a roof to cover
him can pass his time there more pleas
antly than in the heated rooms below !
trust | am no mere thcorist, and if you
will come with me will show YOU the
practicability of this thing
The reporter accompanied the editor to
the lattcr's boarding-housc over the door
of which was the legend, ROYAL meals
ten cents. and followed him up ladder
to the roof. This roof is not as fiat as it
should be" observed the editor, "but it
will serve to illustrate my idea" and
crawling on his hands and knees he was
soon safely astridc the comb Just as
easy as riding a gentle horse, said he,
taking hold of the shingles in front of
him TO make his seat more secure. In
the first place" observed the editor, Il
would recommend that roofs that are too
steep should be plancd down to the proper
level This. YOU see, will open up an
entirely new field OF industry to our idle
millions. The editor shook the kinks
out Of a leg on either slope Of the roof,
and continued with delightful enthusiasm:
please observe the magnificent view
one has from this point And the gentle
breeze How it fan, ones teyered brow
and inyigoratcs his whole being
Its a little too warm, isn't it = sug-
gestcd the reporter, as he noticed that the
shingles were about ready to take fire.
4 trife warm, perhaps" said the ed
itor. "but | would remedy that-so,
and up went his umbrella "How's that,
young fellow: Could anything be simp-
Ter: reckon not. would provide each
member of the family with an umbrella,
and have one or two in reserve for com
pany. That would not only insure you
against sun, but against rain and hail as
well. Simplest thing in the world, you
see
The children might fall off, mightn't
they:'
Not necessarily. That Is, not unless
Won want en- TO. Nv plan Is TO have
what might be called family hitching-
post set in the centre of the roof, with as
many chains attached to and radiatiug
thcrefrom as YOU have children. The
chains will be Just 50 long, and no longer.
You catch the idea; When a child is
secured at. the end of a chain, it will be
long cnough-thc chain will-to allow
the child to sit on the edge Of the roof
and dangle its feet over, or look down on
the less fortunate children on the hot
streets below. Couldn't please the little
dearS better.
You would have your books, papers,
gold fish, canary, &c, on the roof, | sup
pose:'
Certainly. Make it as attractive as
possible. No better place on the broad
universe to read and write than just here.
and the editor drew forth a bunch of pa
per and pencil and, quickly throwing up
his knee for writing desk, began to
scribble vigorously. "See how the old
thing works, young man" remarked the
editor, glancing up pleasantly from his
manuscript. ''Here | am writing a
doublc-leaded editorial on The Evening
Newspaper as means of Salvation, and
writing it with less wear and tear of brain
tissue than would write single-leadcd
article in my library or Office
Just then lump of SCOT as big as
brickbat came sailing along and landed
upon the elegant nose of the editor.
"Of course, there will be few disad-
vantages to overcome" said he, knocking
the SCOT off of his nose: ''but they can
not be met successfully until they present
themselves and he glanced down hi:
proboscis. which must have looked to hin
1 like a stack of black cats. "This LITTLE
trouble of coal SCOT will be speedily over
come by the adoption of smoke-consum
ers or removing a short distance in the
country. Here you will observe / have
written seventeen pages on The Evening
Newspaper as Means of Salvation il
less than as many minutes-a good hour
Job when shut up in a hot room dowl
stairs. Up here, above the rattle of th'