Litchfield enquirer., 1879-06-26
shure, but lave me as near the Ould Colony Depot as ye can."

shure, but lave me as near the Ould Colony Depot as ye can."
 One day last week North Hill nian made
 a wager that he could eat thirty eggs-in thirty
 minutes. He lost the money. The first egg did the business for hlm. It was no young, giddy, inexperienced egg. It wasa venerable old sage. and it did it with it's little hatch't. The wise virgins were simply good adver-
 tlsers. They bought the best of oil, kept their lamps trimmed, and let their lights shine They made money by it.. The foolish virgins never advertised. They bought no oil. They
 had no light. They lost money by It. It is ever thus thus and 30. F >9II
 A young man who had had some verses anent spring rejected by the editor of the Stockton Bugle, called at the office of that pa- per on Thursday last and killed the editor
 This is not absolutely true but it is little variation upon the orthodox lie, which would end the other way. <
 As all the world knows, Paris has a new .headsman. Cham, the French caricaturist represents condemned man in his cell await ing the fatal summons The new headman enters and says: My friend this will be my debut" "Yes, answers the poor fellow i;
 tits mine teo.'
 'I could sing" said an old Chicago class leader the other evening, If 400, 900 saw mills were all running full blast in the same block, and they couldn't put me out" 'No," replied musician near by, "but you might put the saw-mills out"
 A boy stole seventeen bottles of Homeopathic medicine from Curtis drug store yesterday, and carried them up to the High street school, where the contents of thirteen of the number were divided up among the children and eat en. The other four bottles were rescued alive. We have not heard that any bad results fol- lowed this impromptu and ill advised attempt to practice without diploma.
 A wolf having got into his throat bone which tramp had left on the highway tried to hire crane for large sum to extract It. The crane demanded the money in advance, and thereupon the wolf drew it's note at sixty days, without endoI sement, on the Second Ma tional Sand Bank of New York, and rendered it in payment The crane didn't know much about business, but before extracting the bone went off to negotiate the paper, but without success. Now the wolf had intended to inn pose on the crane, and as the latter did not re- turn died deserved death.
 Two newsboys were standing in front of a Houston cigar store when one of them asked the other: 'Have you got three cents ?" 'Yes. ]" ''Well, Eve got two cents; give me your three cents, and I'll buy five-cent Ha- vana cigar" ''All right" says No. 3, hand ing out the money. He enters the cigar store, procures the cigar Con credit possibly) lights it, and puffs with great deal of satisfaction. 'Come, now, give us pull" says No. 3 II furnished more than half the money" II know it, said the smoker, but then Pm pres ident and you are only a stockholder ; you can spit"
 MT. Charles Backus, the negro minstrel, said to reporter of the Rochester Union: My forte is as avocalist. sing Baby Mine from actual observation. I am half owner of one that is sixteen months old. This fact will &C., count for the tender and pathetic manner in which 1 render that song. The only thing which 1 like better is 'Pinafore.' That is new. We were the first to introduce it in this coun- try. We sang it in the lunatc asylum in Rochester the other day. and were going to Auburn Prison, but were prevented on the ground that cruel and inhuman punishments nad been abolished"
 There are innumerable anecdotes afoat of Bill Travers, who unites to certain native wit an unfortunate habit of stuttering, which he has never been able to overcome One day last week, he met friend whom he had not seen for some time. '
 'Hallo, old f-f-f-feller!" said Mr. Travers ''Where have you b-b-been all this tt time 2"
 "Just came back from Boston," said the friend. 'I have been delivering a course of six lectures there."
 "Pm s-s-so glad," said Mr. Travers 'I'm glad, be-e-e-cause hate BIB Boston like he'll"