The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1879-03-14
Phunnygraphs.

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But he always will take quarter
Or any other sum.
What was it the gang saw Saw
dust, of course.
A canal boat mule and baby's
shoe generally wear out in the tow.
A light-rnnning dOmestic-the
hired girl who skips around with
blazing kerosene lamp.
The national egg convention is
sitting at Chicago. Motions to lay
on the table are in order.
The truly wise man leaveth all
his money directly to the lawyers,
aud thus saveth them the labor OF
contesting the will to get it.
The man who processes to be
yourfriend while you are prosperous
but deserts you when adversely
comes, is like a nice looking cheap
clgar--fair to the sight, but bitter
to the taste.
ShampoOlng will never become
a ScIencc Il. Til the barU, 10 is WI, tcl
VINO tries to yank your ucad OFT It's
axis invents some plan " prevent
the unctious lather from gliding
stealthlly down the Jack OF your
neck.
BisInark's big dog killed the pet
dog ofa railway man the other day,
aud to replace 1t Bisinark sent the
mans children a hand organ. The
man was well satisfied with the
killing OF the dog, but now he
swears nell shoot Blsmark Oh
sight.
A Woman was discovered recent
~ On all island Ill Lne Pacific ocean,
where she had Deeu leading il soil
Lary HE Ior eighteen Years. Ine
men VINO first approached tounu
her taiAinS 70 heI sell, SHOWING the
ruling passion sIrOng III suilLuue.
"A pair OF rusty scissors were re-
Gently Iounu III The StodIacn vi Il
goldfish at Portland. We nave
reau many astonishing accounts vi
the capacity ot Il cou 5 Stomach,
out InIs Is tue llrsl Instance on re-
cord Ot one admitting the whoIe
ELECTS ot u country newspdpar
oIlIce.
A year-old baby is undoubtedly
Il Joy aud Il treasure 10 MS parents,
auu, AT lines seems To Ue perfect
little cherub Uut Mnen ne lrles "
rahe Inc nre Win Tie DesI. CONT U anu
sweep up The ashes with Ine sun
day nalr crush, ne Is not lar IRON
Uelng an embryo mend.
An exchange gives receipt for
making Il kuSslan name. IL Is aS
follows: Take three aiphaDets ana
shake them up in a hat throw Oh ii
table like uIce. PICK out those
lnaJ fall right side up, stick them
III Il illre aud either Tie 'Itsh" Oh
"kOn,o and you have IL genuine,
"luIl tiedgeu' Russian geuerals
name.
A French ply sician says to allay
anguish there Is great advantage III
cry ing, especially uufing an opera
tluu. Ana he was entirely nSnt.
Amy intelligent boy VIII testify Jnat
during the operation OI Apply ing
the maternal supper, good, vigorous
crying, viii shorten the operation
and uInlnish the pain by at least
onehali.
a sensitive man would rather
lace a loaded cannuu'S mouth than
nave contribution box showed
uuuer his nose when his girl Is
eagerly Watching him, anu he
knows there Is no money III Ills
even scent OF CO.
logne. IbIs is what makes 50
many of our young men look OLD
ana carewUru beluie their time.
A smart boy on Prospect street
looked 1t mo his head 10 change
the name OF his dog to Infal!lolllty.
lhe hrst time his mother heard hiin
call The animal she exclaimed
"Why, Jack, what do you mean by
giving the poor beast such "A name
as that I" "Eh,' returned Master
Jack, "isn't intallibillty dog
map
"There isn situation in life, how
ever miserable, which cannot be
made to seem tolerably fair by con
it with worse condition."
Suppose, for instance, that yOu were
in the situation of certain Louis
vile exquisite who, having climbed
up stepladder to fasten some anna
ture theatrical fixtures for a crowd
Of girls, suddenly heard the Inelan
rholy, r,sping wall which invari-
ably tells you that your dOeskin
Irowsers are ripping fore aud aft.
Suppose thati
"a kind word spoken to a hus- +
band will go farther than a broom.
stick,r says woman of experience.
Oh, but my dear woman, let us whis-
per in your ear, something that you
,ughC to hear. You want some
hing emphatic to go a long way.
Now a kind word isn't emphatic.
You walk in where your husband is
busy and say in kind voice,
and we'll bet you ten cents
be don't look ur. But you crawl
up behind him cautiously and an ,
nounce your self by bringing a 1
down over his head, 1