The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1879-02-19
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

ITEMS OF INTEREST.
Men of scents-Perfumers.
A cornstalk never complains Of having
the earache.
Speech has been restored by use OF;
chloroform.
When a mule weeps does il shed
muleteers9 - ~-..y-----,--- =, =,
We've seen storms that were hail fel-
lows well met.
Persons of abandoned. habits Dealers3
in old clothes.
A photographer belongs to the TIM:
type Of humanity.
Coal miners dare not say nothing has
been made in vain.
In cold weather thermometers are.
down in the mouth.
Chief Joseph wears coal black hair
banged on his brow. !. s. .ss s.ss
Why is the letter B like hot fret
Because it makes oil boil.
Two solar eclipses invisible in this
country are down for '79.
A paste-pot doesn't denote time, yet
it is known by it's stick.
Why is a lazy man Like magician?
Because he works by spells.
Succeed in satisfying others, and your
own contentment is assured.
Eighty thousand inhabitants make
Richmond, Va, bustling city.
"Give him the rest OF it in pail "sia
the latest slang among the gamins.
There is man in the moon, and ~
man and woman in the honeymoon.
A bird.fanoier calls his canarieA
Riches" because they have wing
A prima donna is naturally Emid
creature, for her art is always IN her
throat. ~na ~ .:s's. W.
The boats on the Erie canal, engaged
in the grain trade, are valued :at 3d.
600, 900. &:
Some people never mind anything,
for the very substantial reason that they
have no mind.
"Oh come, come, hay weigh z as
the impatient farmer said to the man at
the hay scales.
A new book, like q fresh lobster
doesn't benefit man until it is read
snd digested. ~ -
It costs Russia nearly 1926, 900 9 yeaA-
to have her newspapers supervised IN the J
interest Of order. s.
A good report fingers on its way, hut
an i'll one flies straight to where IL can
do the most harm.
The year 1873 will be notable for the
death Of distinguished persons il, nearly
all communities. s
A man sometimes seems to be asleep
when he is merely rocked in the cradle q
of the deep thought. ~
The orange growers of Florida ars
turning their attention to the making oS
wine from oranges. ss-s:jI;ls::
When does the rain become too fa-
miliar with ladyp When it begins to-
patter on her back. z,
A Nebraska physician says the c1cess
e1Ve use OF Inc pOGatO 10 on0 VI AaSs
causes of diphtheria. s
Shere Ali has 800 wives. His affair
with England, therefore, Is only q
change of battlefield. q
The true empire OF genius-its s6ye
eign sway-must be at home and Is
the hearts of kindred men. ~ g.! s5
A deaf mute stole q coat the other day
in order that he might be taken INTO (
court and obtain hearing.
Advertising is always in fashion. -
Yonkers Gazette. Because it shows up Z
the styles.-Ne1 York Neocs.
Color blindness is one Of the frequent
results of abuse of alcohol and tobacco,
according to Mr.. Favre, Of France.
The man who unexpectedly sat down
in some warm glue thinks there more :
than one way Of getting badly stuck.
A rich gold mine. which shows en-:
dences of being worked in past ages,
has been discovered on Mount Lazar- I
asco, Mexico.
"The course of the weariest river
ends in the great sea ;" and II you We 9 i
tough, torpid liver, we advise you /
doctor to fee.
The Candidates OF the muses.
Whose thought-6res flicker and fade :
Where fancy with feeling fuses,
Their econces should rub withspoem-aid.
At all ages novelty hath ct arms IN
deed, but in mature life it is tinged with
sadness, owing to the premonition that
We are drawing on the last resources.
There is many rich stone laid up in Z.
the bowels of the earth, many a fair
pearl laid up in the bosom of the sea,
that never was seen, and never shall De.
During the last year 1914 books have
been published in England ; OF these
3, 730 are wholly new, and /, 584 are new
editions. This number exceeds by 260
the total OF the previous year.
Ittakes man long time to learn
how to fall down grace lully and satls.
factorily to himself. Nine men out OF
ten are inwardly dissatisfied with the
undertaking after they have tried 1t, Z
and always get up very much disgusted.
And it don't seem to comfort them
bit if they happen to cast their eyes
around and see how some OF their
friends appreciated the performance.
EXERCISE IN PRONUNCIATION.
There was young fellow named Cholmonaeiey
Who certainly acted quite dolmondeley,
When his girl said amuse me,
he stammered excuse me-,
And then he spologized holmondeley.
His friends said his first name was Beauchamp.s
ITO pronounce it yon never can teauchampb e
uo roo;da5 Of CrneDviCh .
And lived upon speenwlch
And artichokes when hs could reaucnamp.
The jealousy of dogs is notorious;
Some of them, especially household
pets, will show great dislike for young
children who come in to share the at1ec'
tion or caresses Of their master or mis-.
tress. One dog began dropping, upon
the advent of baby, refused 1000 ana 8
died of starvation. or, rather. by sui
eide. A fierce dog in Paris sullenly en-
dured the presence of child sis years,
and then, as if his pent.up feelings
could no longer endure the rage end
envy within him, he found his way 10
the bedroom, where the mother was
undressing the child, siezsd it and tore
it to pieces before the unhappy woman !.
could rescue it.
Patience.