The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-04-26
SUNB BEAMS.

n iOShy paw AhO AuAsIays
The best time on record Lunth tire.
Current news-Tabls of tides in tho al
manao
At the foot of lis profession chi
ropodist
A painful partiag-Wi!h yoar tocsh o.
Che dentists.
The highest a7probation-App!auso from
the gallery.
People in search of a chiropod:st usually
walk as If they were corned
Venice is overrun with blind men, a.
thou9h sha is stylod "mistrssJ OF the
sea-"
A fellow in Chicago who BIT of hrlf Of q
mans nose was bound over to keep the
piece.
The world, without woman would be q
perfect blank-like sheet of paper-nct
even ruled. Boston Gdzefc.
A mans ambition is to be credited with
somo great feat, while woman is only
happy with small feet And so we go.
ga teacher who will preserve order or
break heads, " is advertised for by Kansas
School Board
He saw negro smoking o new meer-
schaum. Gracious! I" he exclaimed; why
the pipes coloring him." :,
Trapeze performers are desperate per-
sons. They ara bound to make living if
they have to swing for it.
"Would you like to be lynched ?r asked
an exasperated Missouri farmer of horse
thief. mo, I'll be hanged If / do I" was
the reply. ... '..
fashionable young lady accidentally
cropped one of her eyebrows in the opera
box and greatly frightened her beau who
On seeing it, thought it was his moustache,
An agricultural paper tells 'Hoy to
Dress Hog" But what's the use Of dress
ing hog? 1t would ruin it's clothes
before 1t had them on two hours. --No,rts-
town Herald.
In Paris certain Monsieur Kenard
announces himself as "a public scribe,
who dgests accounts, explains the IAN
guage Of flowers, and sells fried pota-
toes"
Sunday school teacher: (which Is the
best. the wheat or the tares Z" Master |
Hobbs '"The tares" Teacher: "Why ?" |
Master Hobbs "The wheat gets thrcshed, |
but tares don't.
An Tr'rhroop -,
United States, noting the great number of |
military titles, exclaimed. what devil
of battle has been fought near here,
where all the privates wero kilt"
Japanese photographers charge only
eighteen cents per dozsn for good pictures
Gnd they don't keep = man to twist your
give you .poss."
Christopher Allen Mann, of Independ-
ence, Mo, has just celebrated his 10th
birthday. This old Mann's long life is due
to his temperance principles. He never
went out to G. A. Mann.-Free Pre- g.
Said railroad engineer to an Irishman,
whose COW had been killed; 'But she
didn't get out of the way when I rang the
Deu Edibu, bllu bdlu ut, y6 uluQ |
shtop whin she rang her bell, naythur."
A stingy husband threw all the blame
OF the lawlessness of his children in com,
pany by saying his wife always "gives
them their own way" Poor things"
was her prompt reply, cts all have to
give them !"
An-out- town man, travelling in Bos-
ton horse-car, pulled the bell strap yigor-
ously and mad9 the bell ring at each end
''What ars you ringing ut both ends for?"
said the conductor. 'Becansa wish the
thing to stop at both ends"
''Yes, mamma, took three Jumps Of
sugar out of the cupboard, says the little
girl, contritely. That was very naughty
nd d but IS you havc C, rfessed it. ! shi i
forgive you. 20 ana sin no more,
tThen give me the other lump-I only
took two"
A young lady, hesitating for word, in
describing a reject ed sutor. "He is not a
tyrant, not exactly aomineering but"
"Dogmatic, suggested her friend. No,
he has not dignity enough for that; think
pupmatic would convey my meaning ad-
mirably."
A little boy aked another, few weeks /
ago, if he knew how to tell good Chris
tan. NO" replied the other; ''how can
I ten?" ''rll tell you," said the first
Good Christians ara fat for the Bible
says, He that putt-th his trust in ths
Lord shall be made fat " Proverbs,
xviii, -.
An ingenious locksmith in this city has
invented new front door lock which by
clockwork arrangement becomes deaf to
the entreaties of latch key after twelve I
o'clock at night Whenever you pass q I
houss at two P. NJ. and see man sleeping ;
on the fence you may know his wife has
purchased one Oh the sly. - Cincinnati
DreuIJaSt 1udte.
A parent, who claimed the right 30 edu-
cate his own children, sent the following I
to school board in Eng. I
land recently: "Jentlemen: am at loss 7
In know wby the chOOl Rord ofiner 10 On da |