, 1879-02-15
Mleeklp Statesman.
SATURDAY, .. FEBRUARY Is, 1879.
DiYcrSificS.

Hayes appoints men 10 oi6cc WIN ha,o
not sufficient influence to eject constable
to pelt dogs
What Washington territory particular
" needs is more appropriations, anda few
more Ohio men to handle them.
There is chance for some of our smart
Young LAWYERS in kirkwood, Ill. 1t has
I4OO inhabitants and no atiorneys-at- law.
How great ones virtues is, best appears
bv occasion Of adversely; for occasions do
not make man frail, but show what he
Is.
DR.. Mary Walkers reason may be re-
stored. Edison is said to be at work on
AN invention to keep pantaloons from
baggiug
There is female seminary where the
scholars are compelled to sew for two
hours each day. This must be sew
shall school.
Have We resumedl And If so, why
does not somebody shower gold upon us
Even golden opinions would lead us to
believe in resumption.
Marriage" says cynic, ''is like put
ting Your head into bag containing
80 snakes and one eel. You may get the
eel. but the chances are against you.
Philadelphia is going to give Grant a
reception on his return TO this country; III
return fuT The compliment the lax payers
ought 10 be allowed to smell his breath.
''Decause she couldn't help it, was the
reason an English woman gave for strangg-
ling her six -year-oli daughter. The law
will probably hang her for the same rea-
son.
'Isn't my photograph excellent! s'i! Il
young wife to her husband. ""eli. my
dear" replied he, ''there's a little too
much repose about the month ior 1t TO be
natural.
Michigan inrned ont 1.250, geo, 900
shingles last year This Was certainly
enough to roof in the basement of the
small boys stockings elfcc;uaily enough to
cause them to shed tears.
An advertisement now going the rounds
of the press announces: IAN article that
will make the bald and grey headed re-
ioice" This must have reference to a
new troupe vi
The Chicago Tinrs says: Ohio polite
ians are forever meeting ani passing the
famous declaration: Rcsolced, That the
saints shall posess The earth. Heso'rcd
fulti.e., That We are the saints.
ST. Louis chances may he considered as
gone The Chicago grocers are getting up
..black lists, and their success makes the
old time Directory man look back sadly to,
and feel dissusted with his past career.
Gen. Spinner's autograph would make
good head for puzzle department. -
Norristown Herald It makes an excellen:
puzzle for our cerebral department To get
hold of an autograph as valuable rs 1t used
to be.
We have receivetra piece Of poetry The
first line of which reads: Il sigh for
sprins oil account of the lamb. Oh,
that's Your lay, is it! We dpn't- We
sigh for Spring on account of the belle
weather.
Mrs Jones says she Is much tiscnfecicd
with her ucw residence caparisnneG with
her old one, which WAS on the read TO Il
pcpulous symejry, where she WAS enllvened
sometimes by seeing dozen funerals a
day.
Ida Lewis has received presents worth
about ei9hty-six cents each from three of
the gentlemen whose lives shesavel Even
then she WIS overpa!d. They kncw about
what they were worth, bu. vanity caused
them to ezag-5erate.
Who can explain why a collar button
and "A shirt always sever their connections
when the wearer is away from home! As
long as mau stays III the house, he might
wear shirt tcn years and never lose a
button.
The new president of ,he Un:on League
Club, HamiltoDFjsh, is not wiihont vani
ty, remarks the New York Str He III
ways tia;tered himself that the back nf
his head reminded pc pie OF Charles Sum
ner
Musings by Jim Blaine Grant is going
TO India India is a warm climate, and
if Grant happens to receive fatal attack
OF sUnsir3ke 1t strikes me that there would
pe a decided Improvement i'll NY chances
for 1880.
1t is wei enough to hang up chrome
with '.God bless our home" on it, but it
will do no harm to help on the matter by
little less fretting A great many peo-
pie ask The Lrrd to DO what they won't
lift their FINGER to do for themselves.
Speaking of dull times, a wicked Mo-
bile man says that few weeks ago a
stranger arrived there and bought a bale
of cotton, and pleasant rumor was at
once started that the cotton buyer had ar
rived, but it only proved TO be Chicago
mln with the ear ache.
1t seems almost Incredible that 4 woman
could exist for twenty years without say
ing word, Yet it is said such person has
Just died in Georgia. Why she remained
silent fer this length of time is Ent known.
She was never married. hut. according Ia
popular prejudice, would doubtless have
mad good wife
Before ihe Woman's Suflerage Associa-
ton Mrs Cady Stanton, in alluding to the
rainy weather, SAID, ''the heavens are open,
and weeping over womanS wrongs.
Great goodness, Susan, suppose heaven
has no handkerchief and has to wipe its
weeping eyes on the tail of lis shirt.
The Radical papers think that the re-
quest of Mr. Tilden, to be examined IL
New York, in reference TO the cipher dis
patches, instead of at Washington, ousht
not to be allowed Yet they think It's al
right to keep Inn out of the white hous,
in Washington to which the people electet
him.
She figured up-':Two cans at twent,
cents, forty cents-that is one hundre,
and fifty oysters; milk butter and sundries
one dollar iiftY-that Is one hundr-d am