Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1879-08-15
boetrp.
THE LIGHTNING Rod AGENT.
By WILL CARLTON.

By, WILL CARLTON.
If weary world is willing, I've little word to say,
OF a ightning-rod dispenser that dropped down on
me one day,
With poem In his motions, with a sermon In his
mien,
With hands as white as lilies. and faceuncommon
clean.
No wrinkle had his vestments. and his linen gls-
tened white,
And his new constructed neck.tie was an interest,"
ing sght;e
Which almost wish his razor had made red that
wIite-skinned throat,
And his new-constructed neck-tie had composed
hangman'S knot,
Ere he brought his sleek-trimmed carcass for my
women folks to see,
And his rip-saw tongue arbuzzn for to gouge cash
in me.
But couldn't help but like him-asI always think
must
The gold of my own doctrines in fellow-heap of
dust;
When fred my own opinions at this person round
by round,
They drew an answering volley, OF very similar
sound:
touched him on religion, and the hopes my heart
had known;
he said NED nad experience quiee Stuiiidi VI nie
own.
told him of the doubtns that made dark my early
years;
He had laid awake till morning with that same old
breed of fears.
told him Of the rough path hoped to heaven to
go;
He was on that very ladder, only just round be-
low.
told him Of my visions Of the slnfulness of gain:
;ofo Of <rIIita
so clear and plain.
Our politics was different, and at first he CALLED and
WINGED;
But arg'ed him SO able, he was very soon con-
WINGED.
And twas getting toward the middle OF hungry
summer day;
There was dinner on the table, and asked him
would he stay2
And he sat him down among US, everlasting trim
and neat,
And asked a short. crisp blessing almost good
enough to eat;
Then he fired up on the mercies OF our Great Eter-
nal Friend,
And gave the Lord Almighty good frstclass re-
commend;
And for full hour we listened to the sugar-coated
scamp,
Talking like blessed angel-eating like a-blasted
tramp.
My wife, she liked the stranger, smiling on him
warm and sweet;
ut always fatters women when their guests are on
the eat)
And he limited that some ladies' never lose their
early charms,
And kissed her latest baby, and received it in his
arms.
My sons and daughters liked him, for he had pro-
gressive views,
And chewed the quid Of fancy. and gave down the
latest news,
And couldn't help but like him; as I fear always
must
The gold of my own doctrines in fellow-heap Of
He was spreading desolation through piece Of
apple-pie,
When he paused and looked upon us with a tear In
his off-eye,
And said, "Oh, happy family!-your blessings make
me sad;
You call to mind the dear ones that in happier days
I had;
A wife as sweet as this one; babe as bright and
fair;
A little girl with ringets like that one over there
worshipped them too blindly!-my eyes with love
were dim!
God took them to His own heart, and now worship
Him.
But had not neglected the means within my way,
Then they might stu be living, and loving me to-
day.
zone night there came tempest; the thunder-peals
were dire;
The clouds tramped above us were shooting bolts Of
In my own house. I, laying, was thinking, to my
blame, -=5zs.a
How little had guarded against those shafts OF
flannel ~
When, crash-through the roof and ceiling the
deadly lightning cleft,
And killed my wife and children, and only I was
left.
"Since that dread time I've wandered, and nought
for life have cared,
Save to save others loved ones, whose lives have
yet been spared:
Since then it was my nilsson, where'er by sorrow
tossed,
To sell to virtuous people good lightning rods-at
cost.
With sure and strong protection I'll clothe your
buildings DER,
Twill cost you fifty dollars (perhaps triae more:
What little else it comes to, at lowest price I'll
put.
(You signing this agreement to pay so much per
foot.'')
I:signed it, while my family all approving stood
about;
And dropped tear upon it-(but it didn't blot it
outD
That very day with wagons came some men, D0tn
great and small;
They climbed upon my buildings just as if they
owned 'em all;
They hacked 'em, and they hewed 'em, much against
my loud desires;
They trimmed 'em up with gewgaws, and they
bound EN- down with wires;
They trimmed 'em and they wired 'em, and they
trimmed and wired 'em still,
And every precious minute kept a-running up the
bill.
My soft-spoke guest seeking, did I rave and rush
and run;
He was suppng with neighbor, lust a three-mile
'Do you think" fiercely shouted. shat want
mile % wire
To save each separate haycock out o heavens con-
SUNNI fire?
Do you think to keep my buildins safe from some
uncertain harm,
I'm goin' to deed you over all the balance OF my
farm?
He looked up quite astonished, with face devoid
of guile,
And he pointed to the contract, with reassurine
smile;
But he held me to that paper with firmness sad to
And for that thunder story. ere the rascal finally
went,
paid two hundred dollars, If I paid single cent.
And il any lightnin' -rodder wants dinner dia-
logue
With the restaurant departments Of an enterpris-
ing dog, 4.a
Let him set his mill afunnin' iust inside my out
side gate, =
And I'll bet two hundred dollars that he went have
long to wait
TURNER'S Reviev.
Flu ny