The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1879-06-07
THE LIaETNING-RoD DISPENSER
A Farm Ballad.

If the weary world is willing, I've little word tc
OF a Iightning-rod dispenser that dropped down on
enc day,
With poem in his motions with sermon in his
mien,
With hands as white as lilies, and face uncom-
EaoZl clean.
No wrinkle had his vestmens, and his lin en- glis-
tened white,
And his new-constructei necktie was an interest
ing sight;
Which almost wish his razor had made red that
whiUe-skinned throat
And the new-constructed necktie had com posed a
Ere he brought his sleek-trimmed carcass for nv
women folks TO see,
And his rip-saw tongue buzzin' for to gouge a
gasn in me,
But couldn't help but like hiu-as always think
] must,
The gold of my own doctrines in iellow-heap o.
When fired nay own opinions at this person
They drew an answering volley, of very similar
sound;
touched HIM religion, an the hopes IN y heart
had known
He said he'd had experiences quite similar of hi.
L told him of the doub.in' that made dark nv
breed of fears
L told him of the rough path hoped to beavan :,
He was on that very la der, oaly just round be,
told him of ray visions Of the sinfulness of gain
he had seen the selfsame peters, though not quite
so clear and plain.
Our politics different and at first he CALLED and
WU.ced;
But arg'ed him SO able, he was very soon con-
WINGED.
And twas getting toward the middle of h ungry
summer day;
There dinner on the table, and I asked him
would he stay2
And he sat down among rs eyerIasting trim end
neat,
And asked short. crisp blessing, almost good
Then he fred up on the mercies of our Great
Eternal Friend,
And gave the Lord Almighty good, frst-class
recommend;
And for full an hour we listened to the sugar
coated scamp,
Talking like blessed angel-eaCing like a-blasted
tramp.
My wife, she liked the stranger, smiling on him
warm and sweet
1t always hatters vome an, when their CUES Is are
on the est,
And he limited that some ladies never lose their
A nd kissed her latest baby, and received it in hi,
arms
My sons and daughters liked him, for ne had pro-
gressive views,
And chewed the quid of fancy, and gave down the
latest news;
And couldn't help but like him, as fear alw avs
must,
The gold of my own doctrines in a fellow-heap of
dust.
He spreading desolation through piece of
apple-pie,
When he paused, AMI looked upon US with a tear
in his oh-eye,
And said, 90 happy family. our blessings make
sad;
You cali TO mind the dear ones that in happier
days l had:
wife sweet this one; babe as bright and
little girl with ringlets, Ike tina. one over there
vyorshipped them too Oindly!-my eyes with
love were dim!
God took them to his own heart, and now wor-
But had not neglected the IN cans within my way
Then they might still be living, and loving me
day.
:" One night there came tempest, the thunder
peals were dire;
The clouds that tramped above were shoe ting
bolts of fire:
In my own house, T. lying, was thinking, to my
How little L had guarded against those shafts of
fame,
When, crashl-through roof and ceiling the deadly
lightning cleft
And killed my wife ami chiIdrea, and only [ wa
left.
"Since that dread time I've wandered, and naught
for life have cared,
Save to save others loved ones, whose lives have
yet been spared
Since then it ID my mission, where'er by sorrow
tossed,
To sell to vrtuous people good lightning-rods at
cost
With sure and strong protection pll cothe your
buildings Der,
Twill cost you fifty dollars (perhaps trihe
more0
What little else it co mes to at lowest price vi put
you signing this 5reement to pay so much per
foot) I"
L signed it, while my family all approving stood
And dropped tear upoa it-(but it didn't blot it
outD
That very day with wagons came some men, both
great and small;
They climbed upon my buildings Just as if they
Swned 'em all
They hacked eIn, and they hewed 'em, much
against my loud desires;
They trimmed 'em up with gewgaws, AMI they
bound 'em down with wires;
They trimmed 'em and they wired 'em, and they
trimmed an wired em sLill,
And every precious minute kept a-running up the
bill.
My, soft-spoke guest a-seekng, did 1 and rush
and run;
He was supping with neighbor, just three-mile
further on.
& Do you think" fercely shouted, " that want
To save each separate hay-cock out O. heavens
consumin' hre2
Do you think to keep my buildin's safe from some
Pm goin' to deed you over all the balance of ny
farm 2"
He locked up quite astonished, with face devoid
of guile,
AMI he pointed to the contract with a reassur1ng
smie
1t was the first occasion that he disagreed with me-
But he held ne 10 that paper with frmness sad
to see;
And for that thunder story, ere the rascal finally
went,
paid two hundred dollars, if paid single cent.
And If any lightnin' -rodder wants dinner-dia-
logue
With the restaurant department of an enterprising
dog,
Let him set his mill a-runnin' just inside my out
side gate.
And Ill bet two hundred dollars that he won't
have long TO wait
wa Carleton, in Chicago Farmers ReUieio