The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1879-11-19
CURRENT HUMOR.

A little bov pro,li III h1s new jacket, in
formed his sister he was slx-button kid.
A man never knows how many friends he
hae until he begins to keep demijohn ut his
office.
Don't buy thermometers now They'll be
lower after n while. @I Philadelphia Chronicle
Herald.
snake stories should not generally be
eref,ited unless the name and residence Of the
snake are given.
job has been marked down In history as the
patient man. The fact Is that at one timo he
was just boiling over
The man who indulgea IN mushrooms may
not find he toad-3tool OF repentance until he
reaches the next world.
We know Of a man, u victim to tobacco, who
hasn't tasted food for Yorty-seven years. The
tobacco killed him In 1882 aa
This life may be- as stern moraIlsts say, oil
4 tlaetlng show, but 1t IL m exhibition from
which deadhaads are rigidy excluded
The man who has been brought up On hog
md hominy IL the man who wants quail on
toast when he strikes u hotel.
'If theres no moonlight, will you meet me
by gasliRht, dearest JulianaY mo, Augustus,
| won't, I" she replied. "Im no gas meter"
An advertisement oY cheap shoes In down
East paper adds. Ladies' wishing the cheap
shoes will do well to call Boon as they will
not last long
tt Is better to be caught out in q thunder
storm with another mans umbrella than be
caught in an leo cream saloon with another
man s wife.
my DEAR snld Mr. TalmaQe, q few hours
before he landed "please rub the knees 81
those pantalnpns very hnrd. They don't look
shiny and worn enough.
Man With Il wig gbss IL bald headed friend.
III admit" says the other. that ! have no
hair. but the hair | haven't got Is my own.
anyway
If Won smell camphor In the street car
don't think any one Ia sick or going to faint
it's only last years coats and llannels airing
themselves.
No one objects 10 seeing the Indian sum
mer here, but out In Colorado they say they
would rather see the Indian somsWher' else.
New Bedford Standard.
"Where's your partner this morning, Mr..
IIyson 4" the neighbor asked the grocer.
Don't know for certain cautiously replied
the old man. che died last night
An urchin who had begged n penny OF an
old topper IN vain rewarded him with this ad-
vice: Don't you carry that nose Of yourn
near 80 no powder factfy, Or they might play
the hose onto yer
boy BIN fi8hln'.' First boy-"Ketch any
thingy with al anxious expression On his
faee. Far-seolnR second boy-"NO, but ex-
pect ter when ! git Ia the house"
A Quaker having sold q fine looking. but
blind horse, asked The purchaser. "Wel1, my
friend, doBt thou see any fault IN him." None
whatever" was the reply. "Neither will he
ever see any In thee" sad honest Br0aabrim
Here's chance for some of your boys who
want to get married: An economical North
Wheeling girl has knocked the bottom out 0i
mn empty cheesebox and now wears 1t as q
fashionable belt. Wheeling Sunday Leader
man who sat up four nights wrestling
with II asks this conundrum what Is the
differences between u sailor and o firemanH
Zone plOwS the water and the other hose the
water" map III this joke will be furnished
to each new subscriber.
A tourist, new to the beer-drinking ways 81
the good people of Munich. asked tho lady
presiding at the bier halle III her customers
did not frequently become intoxicated. Santa
Maria, sir, they never get drunk, but they
sometimes burstl
The ladies' Of Mono county, Cal, thought
they had scored one WHEN Miss Adde l.. Irish
was elected school superintendent OF that
county. Now the female suffragIsts shake
with rage because their late standard-bearei
has appointed u male deputy, and, worse thar
MI, has married him.
Tho spelling reform In France: Walter
my BILL" "Here it Il, sir 'Theres mis-
take III It," examining 1t with rui1led brow
only one t." LET me correct IT," The
| walter takes the bill IN his hands, adds to II
| zone tea, eighty centimes.'
| bold, bad burglar recently broke into tht
| house Of an editor In the watches Of the night
| The editor awakened aud questioned the In
| truder. What DO you want here2 What
| look you fory" Said the burglar, gruf1ly
Money" Hold on minute quoth ths
editor "and will help you; I've been looking
| myself for ten years, but perhaps the two q
| us may have better luck Then was the bur
| glar much dsgusted, but the editor catlr'! IL l
| joke and insisted that the burglar should SCI
| EN- up saltwater Lumberman