Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-12-21
Wit and Humor.

.
While he in calmness reached around
\ And drew her to his SIDE
Then put her neck within his arm.
" course with her volition,
And said. my love, I consider this.
10 be neck's position"
!! A soar task-ballooning. .~.
Coda money syllable.
10 raze house-lower it.
Cheek-mate-A liberal husband.
No quarter-A twenty cent piece.
Lucife1 misunderstanding for money
Is the taut 'og related to the learned pig?
Low rents-Tears in the sole of a shoe.
The miser is the great original chest
protector.
A man who steals tor a l1vine-The
blacksmith.
The Russian plan of settling Nihilism
is knout-y
Life Is to short for its possessors to
wear long faces.
thoughtful men are then ours, and ant
to be dog-matlcal.
Speaking ofnautical terms, was Noah's
wife his first mate?
At spelling match one man spelled
"pasnip,' and got beet.
It's presumable that Noah's wife was
at one time an ark angel.
You can always find sheet of wa ter
on the bed Of the ocean.
"Alas!" he cried-s'alas for lne?' She
heard but still lass would be.
The pedestrian that goes-as-he-don't
please 1.-The one in tread-mill.
Instinct VS.. reason-A cat having lost
her kittens. following a mutton pie man.
The pretty girls wear them to be in
the fashion, and call them "whisker-
ettcs."
The wife of a Philadelphia who had
his life heavily insured, set his death
down to profit and loss.
Never be too warm in your praise of
lady's lady-friends, Friendship should
be encouraged, not discouraged.
II am broken man." said peet. $50
l should think" was the answer, "for I
have seen your pieces.
he said he wanted her to he his help
meet; and she replied that she could new
er be more than assister to Kim.
When Montague was i'll, he earnestly
begged his friends to wait until he was
stronger before they called a doctor.
You need little rouge, my DEAR
said Sack Frost to the leaf. And the
leaf soon found it was drop game
III should like to see that gold mine"
said Smythekins, as be watched them
counting quarter-eagles in the treasury.
A hotel-keepcr described MOSQUITO
as "a customer who tries to get inside
the bar and take nip without paying
tor it,
Why will newspapers persist in say
Ing that trees were torn up by the roots:
when everyone knows they are torn up
by the storm?
eff there no moonlight, will you meet
me by gasliglt, dearest Jullana2" "No,
Augustus, WON'T" she said; I'm no
gas-meter."
A professional teacher of elocution ad-
vertises "voice buildings speciality" It
is presumed he uses the right kind OF
| timber.
A little boy came to his mother recent
~ and said: mamma, should think
if was made of dust, I would get mud
dy inside when drink"
A recent picnic was turned into hol-
low mockery by every fellow remember
ing corkscrew and depending on some
body else to furnish the bottle.
A little Partisan mendicant followed a
gentleman, whining s:A[ons1eur, give
me just a sou, I'm an orphan by birth"
q Hofn
to her.
State the difference between a grocer
selling pound of sugar, and an apothe-
cary's boy with pestle and mortar.
One weighs apound and the other pounds
away.
''Money does everything tor man."
said an old gentleman pompuously. eyes
replied the other one. ''but money won't
do as much for man as some men will
do for money!
A woman who turned up her nose and
said with a sheer that she couldn't mar
ry 1uechanic,' was right after all. No
mechanic would have her. So she was
mighty right, she couldn't.
The upper section OF Franklin County,
Me. is justly celebrated for its fine focks
of Meriuo and grade Merino sheep,
which a recent correspondent speaks in
terms Of highest praise.
"There is nothing like settling down..
said retired merchant confdentially to
his neighbor. "When I gave up business,
I settled down, and found I had quite a
comfortable fortune. If / had settled
up, shouldn't have cent
The season of the year has come around
when young man may go to social
gathering to exchange sentiments with
pretty young woman and over-coats with
the young man unfortunate enough to
use the most prominent peg in the hall.
When the old gentleman comes home
and finds his daughters have got his slip
pers and the easy chair, and the evening
paper ready for HIM, he realizes that It
is the season for fall opening Of his
pocket-book.
Heavy merchant to young man: "You
are now in my employ some six weeks;
our conduct, your requirements are
admirable; but what admire most is
the punctuality with which you come
half an hour too late every day."
Some women are very absent-minded,
and frequently forget where they left the
dlshpan after using it, but the world
hasn't yet produced woman who ever
forgets where she hung her false hair
before retiring.
Seeing the Circulation Of the Blood.
DR.. O. Huter, German savant of
Greifsvald, devised simple ar
rar<pn,ro o,x -1s~l