, 1879-04-05

Tho editor Of The Okalona 8tates appears
to think he's tho Solid 8outh.
The English pedestrian and his bolt are
Ronoll-ing o'or tho deep bluo sen.
4 Doaton gentleman named Whittlo has
dlsappeardd-cut atck, 10 to speak
"Prof." Gamgoo oiFors to freeze out tho
yellow fovcr for 5000, o00 a cool offer, certainly.
/. Don Carlos Ia writing hts life, and Alfonso
says, "uo ought to thank mo that hos got ons 10
wsltc."
April came In like lion, aud not one Of
those toothless. atump.tailed, menagerlo sort Of
lions either.
Tho Rebols haya recovered from their re-
pulse by Gen. Garfield, and havo rccrosscd tho
Potomac In force.
Dfr. Hnnlan's boils are securing distino-
ton IN England almost oquallng that Of Mr.
o'Leaty's stomach.
President Hnyes begins to feel that there
ia too much Congrcss and too tt1o country fair In
hia Administration.
Whittier has been suffering from worry
soyero cold, but is now recovering, and Ia ablo 10
travel short distances,
In Tc1as." Poor fcl1owi We should think ho
would want to 60 homo.
A hint to EnBlnnd: Wo are perfectly
willing to swap JeE Davis and tho Solid sonth for
Cetywayo and South Africa.
Con. Garfield, in all tho political turmoil
IN Washington, has been taking time to recito 4
Latin poem to literary aoctety.
Mr.. Edison, ITO understand, has invented
flying machine; and wo aro afraid that his cleo.
ttac light has Rone up with 1t.
The Mrs. Miller. Of Oregon, who Ia the
mother Of twenty children. is not tho vito Of
Joaquin-and We nro sorry for It.
Tho Texas Legislature has just appropriate
cd. 5000, 600 for SCHOOL buildings. Tho Texas
young Idea should bc taught not to shoot.
The American eaglo, the emblem Of his
country, Is baldheaded. mad 1t occurs to III that
perhaps ho was anatched SO by tho Solid South.
Olive Logan suspects Eugonie Of wearing
a wig. Unless sho kecpa out Of Eugonle's reach
ahe will fcol tho necessity Of wearing ono hcssolf
American women nre notably Worth'a best
customers. French women, he says, no longer
dress as extEavagantty as In the days OF tho En-.
pise.
Ben Butler doesn't like to lnvo ANYBODY
allude to his military career. No QUO but . Con.
fcdorate allude to 1t with any cnthualasm, any
way.
Gen. Lafayette is said to have invented
faro This alone will paspetuatc bis name along
with thoae Of Edisou, Morse, and Sir Humphrey
payy.
There Is an oyster TINT amits sound like
whine, ard the Buffalo Ezpr<ss thinks the poor
thing ID afraid It Ii going to bo gobblcd by some
disgusting Democrat.
a Texas newspaper man has Just married
d lady worth g, eco, 900. Why did such woman
throw herse1f Rwayf Therr Wero othof neHspRpe.
men, Wo can tell hcs.
we shall presently zoe President Hnyes
touching Senator Coukling's G1ass Of csahapplu
cider, and saying, In tho language Of tho sinful
world: "1lotc's 10 ya."
It was Bis1narck's birthday tho other dny z:
but a great many persons in Germany think ii
would have been better II his lsst birthday bad
been indefinitely postponed.
Sara Jowott wants to star next season IN
"Tho Bankers Daughter" 'sTho BAnkor't
Daughter " has been 80 popular that We suppose
her father mnde an cmiaontly suceessial failure.
Tho Troy Whi0 announces Society TO,
the Prevention Of Cruelty to Widows. Mrs. Oliver,
wo hel!eyo, Is is President, and wo shall expect
directly to SEQ It bring action agalnss tho csuo
| Simon Cameron.
"Give the Democrats rope enough anG
| they will hang themselves" cxclaim mnny *,
changes. Thcro must DO more rope factories, aut
bcsldcs rope there must be plcnty Of othor convon
| fonccs for hanging.
Mark Twain went to AIr. E. D. Mlllet'f
| wedding In Paris tho othor day with marriage.
gift Of twn logs OF hrowood ticl mp with pink Rib
bon-''tho costest thing he could ind In Paris, y
| he said. 1t does not seem to DO yosy witty, ant
yet nll the papora arc chronlctn9 1t as semarka,
| bio Joke.
secretary Of tho Navy Thompson, accom-.
panied by dozon young ladies, atteudcd d per.
foEmauce OF ''pinafo.o" in Washington tho othe1
| day. and appreciated tho point when tho audionc.
looked oyer toward him and smiled during thu al
1uslon OF the chorus 10 ''1lls sisters, and hll
! cousins, and his aunts."