St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-12-19
Squibs.

Church fairs are no good in any
month that has no bazaar in it.
The meanest bark of dog is when
he barks your shins with his teeth.
Uneasy lies the man who has already
been caught at it once or twice.
Whenever the Indians and soldiers
have brush, the soldiers are very apt
to furnish the hair.
A clock pendulum is bound to keep
time if it has to swing for it New Or
leans Picayune.
A man is never ashamed of his ances-
tors until he runs for office in a free
country.
1t is said if you sit down when assail-
ed by ferocious dog, the beast will not
touch you. But the judiciOus man will
select as high seat as possible-at the
top of tall tree, for example.
A Yankee woman recently married a
Chinese laundryman, and in three days
thereafter the unhappy Celestial ap-
peared at barber shop and ordered his
pigtail TO be cut off, saying in explana-
ton, 'Too muchee yank."
A Vermont pet lamb swallowed sew
eral balls of yarn, and it was not long
before his life became such tangled
skein that he could not unravel it, and
had to shuttle off the mortal coil.
Mamma" said a five-year old, the
other day, 81 wish you wouldn't leave
me to take care of baby again. He was
so bad that l had to eat all the sponge
cake and two jars of raspberry jam to
amuse him."
A little fellow, on going for the first
time to church where the pews were
very high, was asked on coming out
what he did in the church. He replied,
81 went into a cupboard and sat on
shelf" .....
1t is estimated that in this country
only one person in five hundred owns
horse. Are we a neigh -shun p Gin
cinnati Saturday night.
Before the show window of picture
shOp-First gamin to second: "Say,
Bill, come away don't be lookin' at
them pictures o. bally dancers, or folks
will take yer for Harvard freshman
Il Boston Post.
The rage for pottery painting has had
its day. After all, the fine aesthetic
taste of the Boston girl has come down
to the belief that baked beans are the
best decorations for dinner plates.-
New Orleans Picayune.
A little 5-years-old boy, who had seen
peacock for the first time, ran into
the house exclaiming to his sister so,
Lizzie! I've seen great, great mon
stiferous tail walking around with a
hen tied to it u .... ..
Visiting young lady with severity.
Now children, can any of Won tell me
the spiritual meaning of the serpents
biting the children of Israel? What
were the serpents Small girl eagerly
Please, miss, p'r'aps they was 1eas.
Butter has advanced to 40 cents a
pound, the price of paper is going up,
and coal is steadily on the rise. This
comes of ofhaving no representative al the
Court of st. james, [NorristOwn Her
aid. -.
A certain young man brought his
afianced down from the country to see
the sights. One day while they were
passing cOnfectiOner's the swain no
tlced in the window card bearing the
announcement, "Ice cream-one dollar
per gal" "Well," said the young man
as he walked into the saloon, 'Ithat's
pretty steep to charge for one gal, but
Maria, I'll see you through, no matter
what it costs. Here's dollar, waiter
ice cream for this gall" ,
That was an observing fellow, if he
was but six years old, who said, 'iPapa.
| wish you'd quarantine against Tom
Jones coming here every ngiht to see
Jennie. It's got too epidemic.n
One of the great mysteries in nature
is the hole in the heel of a stocking
How it gets there no one knows; t6e
need OF it no one sees; the philosopby
OF it no one can explain; the logic is.
''Darn it," ~
A writer says that ''the ballot is the
only protection the American citizen is
in need of" and yet the average Ameri-
can will keep right on carrying am nm
brella when it rains
"How far" asks an exchange. "wilI
bees go for honey ?" The answer to this
cOnundrum is unknown to us. but if il
well known fact that a bee will co
miles out of his way to sting a bare
footed boy on the heel.