The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1879-04-17
STANDARD PARAGRAPHS.

1t tnlS tlme.
The Greenbacker is not, just now, er
tirely satisfied that he has mission.
Some one should hasten to send Ger
Chalmers a poem by Walt. Whitman.
The man who goes late to barber
shop, is almost invariably man of grea
wait.
Mr.. Tilden evidently does not inten'
to be considered cipher in this Presi
dental race.
The Democracy of Hamilton count,
should give their platform coat o
whitewash
A smooth faced youth desires to know
the kind Of hair vigor used by the man
who bearded the lion in his den"
Your Southern statesman is always
authority on two things-the Constltu
tion, and twist tobacco.
John Phair was hanged in Vermont
last week, for murder. A Phair way OF
dealing with them
A Turkish-bath house blew up, in
Minnesota, last Thursday. This is a
terrible warning against fooling arou nd a
bath.
"Ah |" says the Mississippi bull dozer,
as he sees the colored man packing his
bundle to leave, 81 hadn't thought of
that before r.
Capt. Eads should be engaged to con-
struct jetty in the mouth of that Miss
issippi editor-he needs deeper chan
mel
A young student who went fishing
declared that after waiting many hours,
victory at last perched upon his hook.
Fitz-John Porter is "vindcated" The
graves of those slain at Bull Run are en-
during monuments of vindication.
If the minister were to go with Betsy
Jane after the COWS, there would be great
talk. Yet he would only be making
pasture-al visit.
The great preachers who have never
had great trial" now look with envy
upon Beecher and Talmage.
Mr.. Tilden has written gushing note
about the people being ''defrauded of the
fruits of their victory" This note was
written in New York City
The grand aim of the Democratic Con-
gressmen is the financial salvation of the
country. They are just now quarreling
over plan for bringing it about.
The United States will sell the terrific
ry of Alaska at second-han price. This
is rare chance for some nation which
wants to get rich on short notice.
Ben. Hill forgot himself the othez day,
and alluded to the U. S. Senate as the
"Confederate Senate" Ben. generally
calls things by their plain English names.
The Greenbackers in Congress inflated
themselves to the highest pitch, but the
Democratic majority came along, tramped
the wind out of them, and gobbled the
whole party.
Depend upon it, the young man who
goes about singing "Nobody's Darling"
has just asked the old man for the loan
of dollar and half and been refused.
The President of the United States
felt shock run up his back, one day last
week, when the returns from the Ohio
election were coming in. The good man
thought, for a moment, that he really
possessed back-bon
Hon. A. Fl. Stephens thinks the De-
mocracy should accept the legitimate
results of the war" Now, how can
Democrat see anything legitimate about
the result of the war
man in Philadelphia waltzed for
thirteen hours. without stopping-eating
his meals while dancing. 1t would be
fun to see that fellow, if his mother
should ask him TO get bucket of water.
How weak and sick he would bel
Now if Congressman Blackburn and
Chalmers will continue to spread them
selves" we will experience no difficulty
in boosting" Grant into the White
House, next year.
This is the time of year when the SEN
timental young man signifies desire to
die-especially if his affectionate parent
owns an acre potato-patch which needs
spading.
The people of the North sent money
to assist the South in getting rid of the
yellow fever, and many leading South
erners were very ungrateful. Now that
the North is sending money to assist the
South in getting rid of her colored peo-
pie, she will doubtless be ungrateful
again.
An Indiana man beat his wife to death,
and tried to kill another young woman,
last week. This seems terrible, but we
are consoled with the thought that this
man will "forgive everybody" as soon as
he is brought to trial.
A young man out West wrote very
able article upon the subject of religion,
and headed it DO We Gather Figs from
Thistles?" The religion was all knocked
out of him by seeing his article in the
paper, under the heading DO we Gather
Pigs from Bristles ?"
The Southern planters are endeavoring
to procure Chinese laborers to take the
place of the departing blacks, but it is
fair to presume that Chinaman doesn't
like load of buckshot any better than
an African.