The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-08-23
SIle Wnntefi Two.

There is no reason why the inventor of a
remedy to ''curc the worst case of catarrh
inside Of five minutes" =" shouldn't feel it his
duty TO place bottle of the same in every
PERSONS hand price twenty live cents no
cure no pay" Therefore, the long legged
chap, who pulled the doorbcll on John r.
street the other day, had none of that IT,
midity in it's bearing which characterizes
rag-buyers, lightning-rod men and solici
tors for the fire sufferers. He had a good
thing and he knew it, When the door
opened, and hard featured woman about
forty years of age, confronted him, he plea
sanity went to business and asked:
'Madam, is your husband ever troubled
with the catarrh2" az
''Can man who has been dead seven
years he troubled with the calarrh 2" she
grimly replied.
"But the children are liable to be at
tackled any hour of this season." he re-
marked.
'Whosc chldrcn2"
"4ours, M ..;.nl."
''l never had any, srl What brought
you here, anyway3 Why do you come
asking these qucstions2"
MADAM, | have compounded remedy
for the catarrh. 1t is good thing I'll
warrant it to knock any case of catarrh
sky-hgh In less than five minutes"
"Wcll sir, what is all this to MOI"
"WhY, madam-why-" he stammercd
"Do look as If I needed any catarrh
rcmcdies2" she demanded, as she stepped
cut Oh the platform.
''Madam, would not for the world have
you think that | thought you had the Ca
tarrh, but | suppose tho fair and lovely
strong" -" -''"'' -" o." ''-"-- "'''
"And what have got to do with all
that rigmarolc9 Who are you, slr, and
what do you want7" .,t yE
"Madam, he whispered, laking down
one step, have compound remedy for
the Calarrh." ..
"Whose catarrh, sir2
"Madam, l am selling my catarrh--"
'Wherc is your catarrh-where ia it2
sheintcrruptcd. r... ".Ht .4..Wl
He got down on the second step, and
softly began: "nA ."
'Madam, have sure cure for the ca
tarrh and am selling lots of it,"
"Wcll, what do I care2 Must you ring
my doorbell, and tell me that you are sell
ling lots of catarril medicine2"
flo got down on the walk, clear Of the
steps, and he tried to look beautiful around
the mouth as he explained: 'f"@
''Madam, didn't L ask you II your hus-
band was ever troubled with catarrh2"
eyes, sir. and didn't I reply that he
was dcad9 DO you want to sec his grave.
s'No, ,madam, do not. Pm sorry he's
dead, but my catarrh remedy can't help
him any. Good, bye, madam. :" g
"Hore, Sir, hold on a minutel" she
called "what was your business with MOI"
"Why, have a remedy for the ca
tarrh."
$50 you said before" 10
81 asked you If you didn't want to pur-
chase and ..j ,it1 Hu ..rHt.:t
"You are falsifier, sir-you never
asked nc to purchased" Tor. - ,!l.
"Do-you-want--a- he slow
! ly asked. .nt .rnrrat aGy -
eyes, sir; give me- two of them here's
my money! Next time you want to sell
your catarrh remedy, don't begin to talk
about the discovery Of America by Colum-
bus. Here you've bothered me fifteen mi
nutes and put all my work behind, and It's
good for you that didn't bring the broom
to the doorl" ,g 'r. HntBn,
He rctreatened backward through the
gate his left eye squinted up and his mouth
open. He shut the gate, leaned over 1t and
looked at the front door. BY and by he
said: .rr .H iUy3Ui~l J}nt
'Darn 'cml You neyer,tqll where to
find 'em." .,..tr