Connecticut western news., 1879-06-18
WIT AND WISDOM
= No quarter A twenty-cent piece.
 Low rents-Tears in the sole of

| Low rSntg-IearS ln the sole or shoe.
 -"Stand up and tell the truth like little bell punch, " is the latest addition to the phraseology of slang
 The New Orleans Picdyune says that dreaming on a piece of wedding cake is not always sure thing. Mince pie and cheese are much more certain.
 A Mississippi man puts it thus "At the earnest solicitation of those whom owe money have consented to become candidate for county treas urer."
 In a recent Utica ObserUer is beautiful poem, captioned: "The boys have left the farm" Very likely ; for they could carry very little of it away on their boots.
 This life, says the Boston Courier, is miserable anyhow. If your clothes are shabby, you are certain everybody knows it. If they are new, you are cer- tain they don't fit.
 The young man, says the Detroit Free Press, who feels too proud to olimb greased pole for the amusement of the Fourth of July public will never be heard of in school books.
 Silence, says the Hackensack Re- publican, is not always indicative of wisdom for the man with bad teeth is always justified in keeping his mouth closed on stated occasions.
 The Binghamton Republican tells of an old lady of that city who can't see why base ball players change pitchers so often. She thinks they ought to get one that would hold enough in the first place.
 When you fail to succeed in any of the ordinary pursuits of life, set up for philosopher. Then you will succeed. That is business in which the more you don't succeed, the more you do suc- ceed.
 T allwuss notiss, says Josh Billings, that thoze yung wimmin who are afrade that every yung fellow who cums near them iz going to steal them, and run away with them, and brake their pari- ent's harte, seldum suckceed in gitting kaught.
 Whether perfect happiness would be procured by perfect goodness this world w1ll never afford an opportunity of deciding. But this, at least, may be maintained, that we do not always fiud visible happiness in proportion to visible virtue.
 Every one is forward to complain of the prejudices that mislead other men or parties, as if he were free and had none of his own. What is the cure? No other than this, that every man should let alone others prejudices and examine his own.
 To hear complaints is wearisome alike to the wretched and happy, for who would cloud by adventitious grief the short gleams of gayety which life allows us? Or. who that is struggling under his own evils will add to them the miseries of another?
 There is in mans nature a secret 1uClludblOA tuO AAOuAOh ho"csASA @N'O others, which, if it be not spent upon some one or few, doth naturally spread itself toward many, and maketh men become humane and charitable, as IS seen sometimes in friars.
 Religion is the highest m oral au- thority in human society. I see in re- ligion, said Napoleon, not the mystery of the Incarnation, but the mystery of social order. It connects with heaven an idea of equality which prevents the massacre of the rich by the poor.
 -" Whose pretty little white-headed boy is this ?" inquired tourist batting the head of fine little fellow standing at the door of highland shielan. He was answered with much unction j: "That, sir, is the great Duke of Argylrs piper's sisters sons bonnie wee laddie."
 Those who have already all that they can enjoy must enlarge their de- sires. He that built for use, till use IS supplied, must begin to build for vanity, and extend his plan to the utmost power of human performances, that he may not soon be induced to form another wish.
 -Avarice is an uniform and tractable vice. Other intellectual distempers are different in different constitutions of mind; that which soothes the pride of one will offend the pride of another; but to the favor of the covetous there is ready way-bring money and nothing IS depied.
 He that has much to do will do some wrong, and of that wrong must suffer the consequences; and, if it were possible that he should always act rightly, yet when such numbers are to judge of his conduct, the bad will cen- sure and obstruct him by malevolence and the good sometimes by mistake.
 -"I saw him first in the early sum- mer," she said. "There was something about him that attracted me from the first, soon felt warm interest in him, and met him with glow upon my cheek which must have assured him that l cared for him. nevertheless, he pre- served frigid demeanor, and ap- preached me always coldly. He was our ice man."