Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1879-05-08
HUMOROUS.

A DoDGE THAT DIDN'T WoRK.--The
old man Bendigo keeps pretty sharp
eve on his daughter Mary, and many
would be lover has taken walk after
few minutes conversation with the
hard hearted parent. The old chap is
struck this time, however, and cards
are out for a wedding. After the lucky
young man had been sparkling Mary
for six months, the old gentleman step
ned in, as usual, requested private
confab, and led off with:
"You seem like nice young man
and perhaps you are in love with my
Mary p
"Yes, | am" vas the honest reply.
"Haven't said anything to her yet,
have you %
We'll, no; but think she recipro-
Gates my affection"
"Does, eh ? Well, let me tell you
something. Her mother died lunatlc,
and there's no doubt that Mary has
Inherited her insanity" Il
H'm willing to take the Chances
replied the lover.
Yes, but you see, Mary has terrible
temper. She has twice drawn a KNIFE
on me with intent to commit murder
"Im used to that-got sister Just
like her." was the answer.
"And you should know that ! have
sworn a solemn oath not to give Mary
cent of my property" continued the
father.
"Well, I'd rather start poor and
build up. There's more romance IN
it,"
The old man had ona more shot in
his carbine, and he said:
"Perhaps ought to tell you that
Mary's mother ran away from my home
with a butcher, and that all her rela-
tions died in the poor-house. These
things might be thrown up in after
wears, and now warn you.'
"Mr. Bendigo,' replied the lover,
"I'ye heard all this before, and also
that you were on trial for forgery, had
to lump Chicago for bigamy, and serv-
ed year in State prison for cattle
stealing. Pun going to marry into your
family to give you decent reputation
There--no thanks--good bye
Mr.. Bendigo looked after the young
man. with his moutl. wide open, and
when he could get his jaws together he
said
"Some internal hyena has went and
given me away on MY dodge tide
troit Free Press.
An AWKWARD MISUNDERSTANDING
Nine. Rentz and her female minstrel!
vera performing in San Francisco IT
Gently, u we'll known Front street mer
chaut-one of the front orchestra sea
, brigade, whose head was more cleal
than level--waited around the stag
entrance to the Standard Theatre on.
night after the performance, trying tt
, conceal a handsome bouquet under hi
) ulster.
For long time he kept anxiously
= peerinc at the different specimens 0
; Nine. Rentz's sirens as they put W
} their umbrellas and trotted away ii
the rain. After waiting patiently fol
5 about an hour, he approached an indi
yidual with a red scarf and a sloucl
; hat, who stood smoking cigar at thu
entrance, and said:
, Can You tell me, sir, if Miss Chloro
I line has gone home yet -
p, "Oh, yes been gone half all hour,
, replied the slouch-hat party, cheerful
! ". "Those flowers for her -
Il Well-er-um--yes.'
: "rn eive 'en to her--see her later,
said the obliging man.
d "Wil you, That's very kind, IN
u sure
;, "Oh, not at all ~ said the man
smelling the bouquet with the air of
connoisseur. "Auything else ~
"Well-ahem yes. Just give he
/ this pair of earrings"
/ "Certainly. What name shall
say p
( "Just say that 'Baby Mine'-she viii
understand-sends love, and says 2.3o
1 same place, tomorrow.
! "rll lust make mem. of that" sal
! the red.tie man, writing on his shir
q cuff, "2. 80; same place, tc- morrow. Al
6 right. Anything else :"
"No that's all. Sure you'll see he
!. this evening ?"
;. "Oh, certain -
"And you'll get chance to speak t.
: her when there's no one around - Il
= continued.
+ "Oh, dead sure! You see am he
v husband ~
r "Baby Nine tainted, and was sen
Il home in hack.
X A GRAPHIC CoMPARIsoN.-An incider
3 occurred in tho battle of Franklin " hlc
have never seen in print. That sal
culinary battle was at its height, an
now and then there was a soldier wi
would not face the music, and, holdn
,t to the idea that "distance lends 81
h chautment' on all such occasion
If would exhibit his faith in the idea /
"a taking .leg BALI for the rear. Tht'
II cases were getting too numerous towa'
at the close of the battle, and Col. b
~ of our brigade, was sent back to II
!. rear to intercept those seeking for SAT
n. tv, and return them to their respectl'
II. posts of duty.
~ Colonel B. said he hailed one fe
h. low who was making tracks for son
place of safety with all the energy
despair.
"nalt! say, and return to yo'
j., command !"
-, - The flying son of Mars took no noti
- of the command.
:, "Halt! say, and 60 back to you
a. post - !,
~ ~ The soldier paid no attention to IL
- order.
% The Colonel now became eXasperat'