The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1879-12-05
An Letter.
To the Hon. d. c. Haskell, Hon. p.

l.
b. Plumb, Hon. Jno. j. Ingalls,,
and others:
We want Office we want it bad we
deserve it ; we must have it; we have
an itching palm for the coin Uncle
Sam distributes a consuming desire
to hold a place in council. We want
to be among the pampered ones who
fatten Oh the State. We have lived
quarter of century and have never
sought authority or distinction. Nor
has either ever sought us. But"we
have worked for party faithfully, en-
ergetically and unfalteringly. We
have not been jealous of anOther's adj
vancement. We have capacity of the
highest order, in fact believe we could
acquit ourselves hOnorably in any po-
sition. We firmly, sincerely and
truly declare that men have gone to
the Senate with less ability-in some
directions.
Then there is our integrity. Why,
''To be honest, as this world goes,
Is to be one picked out of ten thousand. 4"
Then, such an education as we have
cannot be over estimated, for Josiah
Quincy says that "the only security to
perfect happiness is freedom the only
security to freedom is virtue that OF
| virtue knowledge" Then there is
our home influence which has all been
welded for the advancement of those
| who represent us in Congress. We
have worked up delegations to conven-
tons, cajOled and fiattered delegates,
huZZahed for the winning man every
time, talked and wrote in his favor and
id his opponent and always f.Onl
pure and patriotic motives. The sell
fish soTdid thought Of licking postage
stamps before the eyes of jealous,
envious crowd of our countrymen new
er for a moment entered our mind I'M
til the lack of a turkey to properly eel
ebfate Thanksgiving wei led us of the
pove,ty. We seldom allowed a
Thought but on this occasion We were
reminded of the sacrifices to patty and
of those still greater which we would
make if Uncle bore part of the eX-
pense. We are popular. Our sunny,
cheerful, free, cosmopolitan disposition
has given us a fortune i'm popularity.
Why, there isn't man in the count v
that wouldn't drink at our eXpense-it
we had the wherewith treat. 'Tis tue
some lunk head occasionally gets mad
because we said his grandmother was
"
| but the next week the paper apologies
and disdains the idea of blaming him
for any fault of bis relatives aud it's
all right again. We can ges up one of
the most unanimous petitions ever
circulated but it would be good deal
of tiouble and as orr reputation for
truth is so well established we feel
that il is unnecessary. In fact, men
want TO write personally. They say
that while they could concur i'm a gen
eral petition they can express them
selves much better in a private letter.
You Representatives will soon begin
to receive them. Some of them may
he u little strong i'm their expressions
of our NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. are some
times OverZealous, therefore we don't
ask you to believe all they say. You
need not fear any dissensiOns i'm party.
We can harmolize all elements. AS
an evidence of our popularity we would
say the Democrats want us out of the
way because of the influence we exer-
else in the deliberations of the party.
There are at least five hundred men
who get their mail ut this office who
would like the present Incumbent re-
moved. A strong statement, bot it is
Ilamentably true, and every mother IS
son of them wants the place himself,
that's the strongest part of it. Now ii
he is to be removed we want the place.
This is not sarcasm and if you don't
appoint us look out for squalls. There
is no other person who can make a
bigger fool of himself when he tries,
who can say meaner things and more
of them, and it wont be any great
shakes to ventilate your record. The
Kansas City Times will help us so
look out-for that post Office.
p. S.-We would have been in the
army but wasn't old enough.