The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1879-03-05
MISCELLANY.
GETTING LIQUOR FOR A SICK WIFE.

He was stern, austere looking man, and
when he walked into store where wines
and liquors for family use - were advertised
for sale, he gazed carefully around before
making known his wants. Then be called
the proprietor to him, and leaning over the
counter, inquired in low tone if he had any
whiskey he could positively recommend to
families in case of sickness. The proprietor
stated, in subdued though no less confident
voice. that he had. He had used it, he said,
in his own family, during the critical periods
of Illness and he hadn't the slightest hesita-
ton in indorsing it, even though the appli-
cant was the President Of the United States.
I" l am thus particular" explained the au.
stere man, because it is rarely that have any
thing of an intoxicating nature about my
house, and never then except in cases of di-
rect necessity"
understand, !" said the liquor man, nod
ding approvingly g l am good deal that
way myself, although in the business
Then he took a bottle out OF case that
stood on a high shelf, and busting it off care
iuiiJS aitbooe AohhiJ3 OCCduoo tuc Wuish09 "
contained was so very rare, handed 1t to the
man, with the remark that he might take out
a search warrant and hunt through all the
private cellars in Bourbon county without be-
ing able to find its superior.
!. {. /" don't know ANYTHING abort ii" said
the stern custon,eg, with All impatient wave
of the hand" don't ever drink it myself,
-
My wife, you see, is very bad with sore throat
and
"Capital thing for sore throat" said the
proprietor, rolling the bottle up in piece of
brown baper g My wife tried it for that not
long ago, and it did her world of good"
Cant you put it in different looking
parcel !? = asked the austere Individual. 81
don't like to be seen"
ooh, of course got just the very thing for
it here looks like package of thread or
something of that kind and he put it into
square paper box that fitted it exactly.
My wife has tried everything for that
sore throat of hers.' said the alstere man. as
he counted out the change, " and | thought
maybe little ardent spirits just as she went
to bed
" Nothing better in the world interrupt
ed the suppler of family distur- we mean
wines and liquors.
" You see, said the man. placing the par
Gel in the inside pocket of his overcoat and
buttonng the coat carefully around it, q | alb
hor anything of an intoxicating nature, but
in this CASE"
" You do perfectly right" said the dealer
opening the door for him. " An ounce of
whiskey-I mean of prevention, is worth
pound of cure"
:" She's so delicate" pursued the austere
one, "catcbes cold with every change of
weather. Things | wouldn't notice at all
make her down sick. am afraid she's not
long for this world, with pious cough.
This weather is very bad for delicate
stitutions, y suggested the liquor man.
Especially for hers,' added the person Of
austerity, about to step out. Then he turned
as with a sudden thought and said, 81 sup
pose if give it to her with hot water and
little sugar it would be all the better, wouldn't
ftp"
"Ob, much better. Don't forget the hot
water and sugar."
The liquor dealer turned to us with smile
as the man left, and said
wonder If that man thinks he is hum
bugging anybody ? But that is the way some
folks get their wbiskey"
g Wasn't that story about his sick wife cor
rect? - we asked.
"Sick wife ! sick fddlestick. He hasn't
any wife, and never had, but he doesn't know
that | know it. ] meet with lots of such
cases men who come here and buy whiskey
to drink on the sly, endeavoring to veil it un-
der such thin pretense as that man employed.
Cincinnati Saturday Night.