The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-06-12
MULTUn IN PARvo.

MULTUn In PARvO.
The penalty Of lying IN Siam q %
have the month eewed up.
A PEDESTRIANS parting saluta&ion-
Sole long.-BrGdford Era.
A NICE little boy calls himself Com
pass, because he Il boxed 20 often.
LETTERS must be wicked things.
They're always indited. Boston R6se. 4
A SOAP bubble Is like . balloonist b.
cause it is an airy naught.-Roms 0ss-
tipek 20 .s2 .. rrss...ss...szss s...a..ss
IMAM should keep his flannels ON In
the spring until hewants to taks . sud.
den cold.
A JUDGE lays down the law after the
lawyers have knocked IL all to pieces.
-Hcaysssss.
CHILLs are quite common among the
carpets nowadays. They have . good
many shakes. @H
THE man who inst meds mince meat
an article Of commerce has Just died in
Philadelphia, very wealthy.
TIE man who originated the saying,
"Hurry Il the marx Of . weak mind,s'
never was chased by bulldog.
THE grass is almost green enough
now for . fellow to- sit down ON with
linen trowsers.-M =. Ezpress.
"WHY is the sun masculineP'' "'Cos
sons allus isl "And the moon femi-
niner' "'Cos It's 50 changin'."
The three cusses-the crocus. the
circus andsthe tramp cuss-are abroad
in the CAicago Consnsercjal I'D.
Uertisef. III. j
MARKET quotations do not affect the
price of liberty, which always remains
at eternal vigilance Ae,sdew (Oosn.)
Recorder.
"A BARBER will sometimes ask T. his
razor hurts you IS feelinglY ageie il
gave him real satisfaction to know It.
~ o. Rcoya'se. ef4l
IT is a terrible thing to be in debt.
II . man owes you . small sum of
money you can almost know he feels
bad about it, though he never mentions
the subject. -.
AMEMoR1AL windowto Bishop Heber
the author of the hymn beginning
"From Greenland's Icy Mountains, - Is
soon to be set up in the church at NAL
pas, Cheshire. Eng, the parish in which
he was born. III .aei.a'
THE man who does wrong wilfully
and expects good tocome of it. reasons
in the same way in which the farmer
did who stabbed his COW in an icehouye
with the hope that she would give ice
cream.-M 7. Herald. al.
WHEN Dickens was sittingbefore the
camera for the picture in which he IL
shown writing, the photographer sug-
gested that he should hold his pen
more naturally: "Just as though You
were writing one Of your novels, Mr..
Dickens" said he. IL see," said Dick
ems. "all Of 'er twist" CThis Is Dickens
only pun.l Jl P!
WE don't feel certain - to which
letter of the alphabet 10 the fastest, but
We have seen decanter. We would
add that any paragrapher who ventures
to annex to the above statement . re-
mark to the effect that he fears we have
seen decanter oftener than was good
for rs win make an enemy. You hear
usf-Bostoss Post. ~'+ r.
A YANKEE auctioneer lately INDUCED
in the following little bit Of the pathet-
ic: Z" Gentlemen, If my father and moth
er stood where you do, and didn't buy
these boots-these elegant boots when
they were going for one dollar, l should
feel it my duty as son to tell both of
'em that they were false to themselves
and false to their country"
SAYS Jones: "When see Mrs. J.
in the clothes-yard, both arms as red
as boiled lobster, barred t. the elbow
and stretched high above her in their
struggles with an unruly sheet, an
epron over her head, her hair in her
eyes and q clothes-pin proruding from
her mouth, it seems Impossible that
she Is one and the same with the Miss
Stebbins used to feed on peppermint
and about whom I used to rave so.''-
Boston Transcript.
A ColfldANDANT OF CAvALRY, q good
soldier, but rather rough to his men,
understood that there were many muir.
murings against him. The Command
ant is man Of quick action, 80 when
next grand maneuver was ordered,
he addressed his soldiers as follows:
Il hear that some Of you have COM
plants against me; now, if any of you
have anything serious to say, / would
be glad TO have you ride out from the
ranks, that it may be explained" At
this the whole corps moved forward. :
The Commandant looked . second,
and then, crying Haltr' went ON with
the exercises without, word.-Paris
Letter.
Ii any young man wants 70 UNDER
stand that the way Of the transgressor
is hard, let him read the story of
Messrs. Clafin & Co.'s clerk, Gordon.
This mistaken youth stole postage
stamps at the instigation Of q smarter
youth named Smith. When Gordon
wanted to leave off stealing Smith
would not let him. He could not, or
thought that he could not, be honest If
he would: Smith chung 10 him like .
leech, and for q long time took all the
proceeds of the thefts. Gordon was his
bond-slave, held by Smiths threat of
exposing him. It does not seem to
have occurred to this weak-minded
person that Smith couldn't execute his
threat without getting himself into
trouble. So Gordon went on stealing
and stealing for the exclusive benefit OF
Smith. who lived comfortably upon the
proceeds Of the crime. The poor,
trembling, half hearted dupe must have
had rather dreary time Of it. 1t he
could only have plucked up courage
enough to defy Smith-but he couldn't.
It is consolation that Smith, with all
his cruel cunning, is likely to get his
deserts.-N. =. Tribune.
/ The New Bennett.
How DOES it lo0kr' demanded
Mrs. Joblink last evening, as she took
last glance over her shoulder at the
mirror before leaving for the theater.
IT, meant the new bonnet, and Mr..
Joblink, concealing his real feelings,
replied. like adutifnl husband: Splen-
did, my dear"
The wind blew, and the soul of Mrs.