davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1879-03-15
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The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1879-03-15

Stands are always sold at auc-
ton TO the buystahders.
The ROSTERS spur is more pene-
trating than O eats purr.
Is it right to condemn a remark
because we think it triteP
A lost (t)art-The ono that was
left alone with the small boy.
s lumber dealer failed last week
Couldn't pay his board bills.
None but the brave deserve the
hair. is how the aborigine puts it.
Boston has another female ghost.
The people spectre see her every
night.
Almost all of us are generous to
q fault, if the fault happens to be
our own.
The farmer who keeps his fences
in good order has a good deal of
stile about him.
''One touch of nature" observed
the inebriate, as the ground rose
and struck him.
We are the most paradoxical
creatures. We use blotting paper
to keep from blotting paper.
The average small boys ambi-
ton is to be a trapper, a pirate, or
q song and dance man.
Nothing sucks seeds like the fell
low who draws sweet inspiration
from a Sunday-school orange.
The grocer offered him frozen
ham, but he said he'd rather not
take the cold shoulder from any
one.
Excuse these steers" said a
sad-eysd stock drover to a lady
after the cattle bad tossed two of
her children into the mud.
yes, 1 am o good dancer" said
barber, as he sheared of the
blonde locks of customer. See
me clip the light fantastic tow"
What is the use of that man
painting his name twice on that
sign ?" said a gentleman to his
friend, pointing to sign which
read, u. E. Weller, Jeweller."
The following explanation of q
legal term is offered by Teutonic
member OF the police force. wen
/ get me out habeas scorpions, /
can chust SD veil catch a man where
he amt rs where he is"
The first ten minutes following
= marriage engagement may be
turned from ecstatic bliss to bitter
gall, by the girl remarking that
she can tell a Brazilian pebble from
diamond in ring with her eyes
shut.
The father of st. Louis bride
presented his son-in-law with 3d.
900 head of cattle. Papa, dear"
exclaimed his daughter when she
heard of IL, "that was go kind of
you; Charley's awfully fond Of OK
tail soup"
A gardener occupies an independ-
ent position. He can make his
OWL bed and do his own sowing.
He should have money enough, al
so, for he gets spade frequently
and can raise his own celery when
he chooses.
During the recent cola weather
it is said that Wilhelmj was COM
PEELED to saw the off the end of
his name and wrap it up in hot
hannels. 1t is feared, even now,
that the frost has undermined its
constitution.
Partridgea are among the things
that whirr. Veptilators among
the things that air. Hornets
among the things that bee. But
Ter says the guLernatorial chair of
Massachusetts, is among the things
that might have Ben.
Little four year-old Mary COM
planned to mamma that her button
shoes we're hurting" "Why,
Mary, you've put them on the wrong
feet" Puzzled and ready to cry.
she made answer: "What'll / do,
mammaf They's all the feet I've
gotl"
A Western paper give this little
bit of backwoods gossip between
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1879-03-15

1T can make money faster ut work for
u us than n; anything Else. Capital is
not required; we will start YOU. Sc per
day Mt home made by the industrious. -
Men. women. BOYS and girls wanted
everywhere, TO WORK for Us. Now is the
time. Costly ontfi and terms frce. Adj
dress TRUE IL co, Auglsta Maine.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1879-03-15
We club it with .~snl

We club 1t Win ~~saf
THE COLFAx CHsosel
The terms for the w ~
Tires Dollars and . oa. ~ ~
Send that amount . 81 -
you, postage free, 70. - ~
If you desire to take .,ss {
=, All persons should Isl. Z 1es
their local paper - ~ 81 z
p r is. a. al say who - -
THE DETROIT r !! q NJ
A specimen oopy = sdlrsp
win be sent tree t. an'
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

That medical college at Ann Arbor,
Michigan still gives occasion for grave apprehen-
sions in Northern Ohio
Bismarck thinks the German EN-
perors medical adviser ought to prescribe Holland
for the Imperial invalid.
A prudent elephant always handles its
own trunk, on account of the bad reputation of
railroad baggage smaShers.
A whisky punch will some times make
man so mad at a bartender that he will not hes
itate at a brandy smash particularly If the police
are not about.
"Pll bet $40 that get WE'LL" were the
last words OF John Watts, the gambler who died
in Philadelphia few days ago, but there was no
taker, except Death.
The managers of the Kellogg-Spofford
case in the Senate color the witnesses 10 suit them
| selves On the other hand the witnesses color the
evidence generally to suit the men who employ
them to swear.
Licking red postage stamps is an
nounced as dangerous. Licking editors used to
be thought a harmless proceeding, but recent
ANALYSIS of ed-headed ones las shown the habit
to he attended with the most fearful risks
In poem recently read by Dr. Oliver
| Wendell Holmes at dinner given the Chicago
Com mercial Club in Boston, occurs the follow.
| ing:
! "Chi, ago sounds rough to the maker of verse;
One comfort you huve-Cincinnati sounds worse.
| 1t is comfort to Cincinnati people, however, to
know that the entire poem which traduces the
musical name Of the Queen City is equally aspool
as the above specimen lines.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19
Success in the stock Market.

Few people understand how large for
tunes are ainassed SO rapidly in stock oper-
ations. Messrs. Lawrence Il Co., Bankers,
New York, have just published two un-
erring rules for success" and full details
so that any one can operate. Mailed free
Their new combination system of dealing
in stocks is wonderfully profitable. BY this
method thousands of orders, in various
sums, are pooled into one immense capital,
and co o.operated as mighty whole, thus Sc
curing to each shareholder all the adyan-
tages of vast capital and best skill. Profits
divided every thirty days. $l5 would make
$75 profit, 800 would return $1,000, or 10
per cent. on the stock in month, and 50
on, according to the market. New York
Fashion Editress and prominent newspa-
per correspondent, made over 375 per cent.
profit on an Investment, October 5th, 1878.
Many Others are doing as we'll or better.
Large or small amounts can be used with
equal proportionate success by this system.
| All kinds of stocks and bonds wanted
Government bonds supplied. Apply to
Lawrence & Co., Bankers, 81 Exchange
Place, New York City,
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

work was never begrudged until it was
found that through the intrigues of a
few men aided by the purchased rascality
of few members of Congress, the whole
Central Pacific Railroad had become the
private property Of four or five men,
To-day Messrs. Huntington, Crocker,
Stanford and Hopkins, nearly own and
entirely control this road. The means
for its construction were all furnished by
the United States Government. These
men never put dollar of their own
money into the enterprise, They OBJ
tanned $54, 100000 of Government bonds
and spent $5O,OOO,0OO in the work, .pock-
eting the other four million. On this
basis they issued S60,00O,0OO of stock to
themselves, on which $24,0OO,0O0 divi-
dends had been paid up to January lst,
1S79 and had graciously reported to
themselves about $9,000,000 as the net
annual earnings. 1t would naturally be
supposed that with 50 colossal steal the
parties would be capable of some show
of generosity or business liberality
towards the people of the country. They
are troubled with no such weaknesses as
sometimes graced highwaymen of the
olden time. They have lately issued ar
order that merchants on the Pacific
Coast or elsewhere, who do not ship al
their goods by their route, shall b'
charged double rates on wha
they do ship. AS large clas
of products could be cheaply shipped
via Cape Horn, this regulation i
simply a piece of villainous exrortion
1t is no wonder that the people of Cali
fornia have sought in their new organi
law to place some restriction on thes
greedy cormorants
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19
An Orthodox Chinaman q N .


Concerning future rewards and punish
ments Colorado furnishes the following
illustration, which occurred recently in
a court in La Veta, where the testimony
of Chinese was objected to on the
ground that he did not understand or
regard the obligation of an oath. To
test him he was interrogated thus:
"John, do you know anything about
Godw
"No; me no belly well aquaint with
him."
"Have you no joss in Chinap
ooh yes, gottee heapee JOSS"
"Where do you go when you die"
"Me 90 to San Francisco"
"No, you don't understand me. When
Chinaman quit washee all time, and nc
live any more, where does he go?"
ooh yes, me sabe now. If he belly
goodee man he 60 uppee sky. if he belly
badee man, he go luppee down hellee
alice samee Mclean man."
The Court was satisfied with this orth
odox statement and admitted his testi
mony.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

THE total want of originality displayed
by murderers and suicides Of late in their
methods of transacting their business Of
supplying sensational items for the local
columns of newspapers and for telegraph
ing leads us to make this protest against
their persistent stupidity and want of
Invention, For instance, some weak
minded person takes a horse pistol and
shoots his wife's head off almost aud
then blows out what serves himself
the purpose of brains and half the
time fails of doing the job up with any
thing like neatness or dispatch. Or take
another instance of a man who pulls out
huge chcese-knife from under his coat
and rips up some body's backor abdomen
with no more originality than common
Portuguese sailor, and who then dodges
up an alley where the police gobble him
and put him in the station-house. This
for murderers while your suicidist awk
wardly swallows dose OF "cold pizen'
and calmly waits for the doctor from
around the corner to come to his relic
with the stomach-pump; or he cuts hi
own throat in bungling way with al
old case knife. Faughl
Now, why can not man commit !
shocking murder or suicide, say for Sat
urday's or Sundays paper, with the de
1ightful mystery and originality of th
dime novel or Of your sensational meio
drama adapted from the French? In
stead of butchcring yourself or you
wife or friend, like person hired at
saughter-house for 50 or SO per week
why not study up the part so as t
shuttle off your mortal coil to slo'
music, as it were, or dispatch you
hypothetical enemy with colore
lights, in pair Of spangled tight.
or in mysterious long cloak and ba
tered hat, with villainous blac
feather in it? Why not abduct you
mortal enemy and half starve him in tn
dark cellar, and exercise such secrec
and cruelty as to make an enterprisin
reporter shudder at the idea of tellir
about in less than from two and a half
three columns including the display hea
lines? Why?-but there is no use tai
ing to such idiots.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

INSURANCE rates on life and property
are no doubt exceedingly high in the
vicinity of volcanoes. The town OF
Aci Reale, in Sicily, near Mt, Etna,
which was destroyed by an earthquake
Tuesday, possessed at the last census a
population of nearly thirty-six thousand
Bouls. The cable does not state the los,
of life, but, as the inhabitants had am
pie warning OF the catastrophe, it was
perhaps incOnsiderable.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19
Prejudice Kills.

"Eleven years our daughter suffered on a
bed of misery under the care of several OF
the best land some of the worst t)physcians,
who gave her disease various names but no
relief, and now she is restored to us in good
health by as simple a remedy as Hop Bit
tiers, that we had poohed at for two years,
before using it. We earnestly hope and
pray that no nne else will let their sick
suffer as we did, on account of prejudice
against SO good medicine asHop Bitters." "
1.-THE Parents,
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

OF John Randolph of Roanoke, Mr..
f. P. Whipple tells this story: "lsn't it
a shame, Mr.. President" said he one day
in the Senate, chat the noble bulldogs
of the Administration should waste their
precious time in worrying the rats of the
opposition" Immediately the Senate
was in an uproar, and he was clamorous-
ly called to order. The presiding officer,
however, sustained him; and, pointing
his long, skinny finger at his opponents,
Randolph screamed out: 'RatS, did
say? Mice, mice!'
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19
A GROSS WRONG.

By vicious course of legislation three
or four men have been able to get posses
sion of one of the most important enter
prises in America. The people of the
United States took special pride in the
construction and opening Of the trans.
continental railway between the two
oceans, and the Government aid to the
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19
An Infantile View.

THHTTtT MtEHHTHV.I
This is the view taken of it by an in
fant of St. Joseph, Missouri:
Little Freddie was undergoing the dis.
agreeable operation of having his hail
combed by his mother, and he grumbled
at the maneuver.
"Why, Freddie" said mamma, "you
ought not to make such fuss. ] dom
fuss and cry when my hair is combed."
eyes" replied the youthful party
"but your hair amt hitched to you
head"
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

Hon. Charles Foster, our candidate for
Governor, las arrived. He intends to open
the campaign i'll AUGUST, and his prospects
for election are most favorable, notwith-
standing what the Democratic press may
saw Seneca County, belonging to his
former Congressional District, will, to all
appearances, give him majority, although
tile same generally goes Democratic by from
800 to / 200 votes. The reports from other
counties are also favorable, and especially
do we hear from many German hard-money
Democrats that they will vote for Foster.
Right 50,
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19
HNot To me-" he said.

But there was a disenchantment for
him, although he thus denied it, which
the poor thing never knew. Perhaps
that was some compensation for her
great loss. To her mind Richard Cliff
ford was not as to others-gray headed,
wrinkled and bowed; but the proud and
splendid lover of her youth, the brilliant
appaition she had looked on for the last,
last time thirty long years before.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19
POROUS PLASTERS.
|(zp|3a!||IRElsj|||RE' |(p|3s!SI|(E|5 NJ

There is no comparison between 1t and the
common slow-acting porous plaster IT is IN
levery way superior to all other external RENE
dies. including liniments aud the so-called elcc
trical appliances. 1t contains new mtulcinal
lelemcnts which, in combination with rubber
\ spoSsess the most extraordinary pain relieving,
\ strengthening and curative properties Any
Physician IN your own locality will confirm the
above statement. For Lame HACK, Rheu'
Amatism, Female Weakness, Stubborn and Neg
lIccted Colds and Coughs Diseased Kidneys.
sWhoupng Cough Affections of the Heart and
lall ills for which porus plasters are used, 1t is
simply the best known remedy. Ask for BEN
sons CapciHe Porus Plaster and take no oher.
lSold BY all Druggists. Price % cents. Sent on
receipt of price, by Seabury & Johnson, q Plat
Rslrept New York.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

NEXT Monday such howl of anguish
will drift over the Allegheny Mountains
rs will freeze the blood of ordinary NOR
tails and fill the s. P. c. A. with terror.
Mayor Cooper, of New York, has issued
a manifesto for the official dog-catchers
to commence their duties on that dread
full day.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

RUMORs of wars are once more borne
upon the breeze from bloody Breathitt,
and soon again will the streets of Louis
vile resound to the tread of gathering
militiamen. Twenty-Five troopers, with
n reserve of sixty men with shovels to
bury their dead, will probably march fol
the fateful field tomorrow.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

LADY students will be permitted to
accompany the Harvard Summer School
Of Geology on its excursions next month.
The trips will be robbed of all their ro-
nance, however, by matron, who goes
along.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

One of the most successful baseball
PLAYERS in Milwaukee is a black dog.
Right field is his best position. When
the ball is struck the dog will watch it,
and, with head erect, bound on in the
line of the ball. He is so expert at the
business that he will be very often at the
point where the ball strikes the ground
and on the first or second bound after il
strikes will catch it and bring it back tc
to the first base as soon as possible.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

If Congress does adjourn next Tues
day, as now indicated, the country will
send up such shout of rejoicing that
there will be no "gush" left for the
Fourth of July.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

THE London pedestrian contest grows
intensely exciting. Now if "Blower"
Brown should only get gravel in his
shoe how soon would Weston walk away
from him.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19
CorLpN'T bulldoze Bayard.

INSTEAD of Flashing up the work and
roing home the Senate treats the country
10 another exhibition of "dead-lock"
foolishness.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

THE school population of the upper
peninsula of Michigan is less than one to
the square mile. The young idea there
finds ample room in which to shoot.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

EWING says he has great consideration
personally for "John g." but doesn't want
him as manager of the campaign. "John
G." must go.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19
At a fashionable marriage in Water

At fashionable marriage IN Water
town last week, Capt. "Bob" Townsend,
one of the ushers from Syracuse, intro
duced new ceremony, which will be-
come quite popular All the bridesmaid:
at the wedding reception being arranged
in line, the usher claimed the privilege
of kissing them in regular order. The
ladies were rather shy at first, but wher
they were assured that it was Syracuse
custom they submitted gracefully.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

81 IIoff'man's lobby trip to Columbus was
not a success this time, Senator Lords bum
mer bill for recognizing the Police and
Fire Commissions in the interest of the
hummer element here has no show OF being
alnntnd
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

DAINTERs MANUAL-HOUsE AND SIGN
[ painting, graning, vanishing, polishing, kali
somining Paperng lettering, staining gliding
narnents, 81. Furniture aud Cabinet Finisher,
| 50. Matchmaker and Jeweler So. Carpenter. So
| Horseshoer Is Soapmaker, 25. Baker, So, Can
| dymaker, 90. Taxidermist, So OF booksellers or
| by mail. JESSE HANEY & CO., l1s Nassau ST.,
| Nen York
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19
SPIRIT OF THE GERMAN PAPERS


The first estimates of the deficit of the
Saengerfest seem to have been too high.
Tie deficit will not reach $40, 600, and this
will be greatly decreased by the proposed
entertainment
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19
o16-1yS&Wnrm
UNDERTAKEN.

HUNTING, TRAPPING, FISHING, PREPAR-
III ING furs, training sporting dogs, how 70
teach horses, dogs, &c, amusing and wonderful
tricks Only l0c. JESSE HANEY CO., ll9
Nassau street, New York.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19
RAILROAD TIME TABLES
Corrected to Accord With City Time.

CINCINNATI SOUTHERN RAILWAY.
Depot, corner Mclean ave, and Gest street
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

The sos p. m and 1858 p. IN. ira, connect
Jackson and Portsmouth.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-06-19

G. " must GO
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-07-02
Remedies for Bee-StingS.

Quimby, the author of work on bees,
says: It is difficult to tell which are the
best remedies for stings. There is so
much difference in the effect upon diff
ferent individuals, and upon different
parts of the body, as we'll as in the depth
a sting reaches, that remedies effectual
in one instance will be useless in anoth-
er. Ammonia, soda, Or salt and soda
mixed, and slightly moistened, are prob
ably as efficient as anything. Camphor
taken internally. seems to possess vir-
tue when the sting is severe enough to
cause blotches upon the skin, as we'll as
when applied externally. When stung
in the throat, drinking often of salt and
water is said to prevent serious conse-
quences. Whether any of these rene
dies are applied or not, it is hardly nee
essary to say that the stings should be
removed as soon as practicable. In do
ing this it should be observed that as
the poison-sack is yet attached to the
sting, it should be extracted in such q
way as not to force any more of the
poison into the wound. The sting may
often be scraped off with knife blade,
and the part be squeezed little to force
the poison out. 1t is unquestionable
that the system becomes accustomed to
the poison in time, and little annoy
ance is experienced by practical bee
keepers.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-07-02

and lots of folks LATED right out and
my wife she flew up and said I'd made
a fool Of myself. How p says 1, why,
the electric light is not an animal at all,
says she, but it has som ething to do
with the clown We had big Jaw
right there. She caved my hat in, and
| broke her parasol, and then | sepa-
rated"
"And you won't make up?"
MAKE upl Never! She can take
the electric light and bake and eat him,
but Pm man VINO. never crawls? Pm
going down to Toledo. [ am, and by
this time to-morror, I'll be drunker'n
horsew
"And YOU did't see the electric light
after ALP
"No! I don't believe they had any!
May be they thought they could work
that ere rhinoceros off on the public by
another name, but [ tumbled in a
mint. I'm an old rhinos myself, and
my wife is another, and when I think
of how stood there and let her call
me a fool afore all the people, Pm mad
ruff to walk clear home and pizen her
half of the yoke of oxen!"