The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1879-01-23

my father shall kick you out
He didn't toy with time. He left
without the testimonial.
THE LITTLE FOLKS.
"Where are you going?" asked .
little boy of another, who had slipped
and fallen down on the icy pavement.
Going to get up" was the blunt re-
ply.
Grandfather: MY son, which
would you rather have when you go
home-a little brother or sister,
Grandson: "Well, would rather
have little pony"
What's Biography, Bill? "It's a
tellin' of forrin lands that We know
nothin' about by cute chaps that never
seen 'em." Bill got government sit
uation.
William Augustus, to sleepy ROOM
mate: "Come John Henry, why
don't you get up with the lark, as I
do?" John Henry, grimly: "Been
up with him all night"
"See here, boy, this makes the sec
ond time I have called for you. Didn't
you hear me the first timer" "No,
sir" Then how do you know I
called you twice?" a
Mamma" said little girl, point
ing to the telegraph wires, how do
they send messages by those bits Of
wire without tearing them to pieces?
They send them in a fluid state, my
dear, I" was tho reply.
A little boy in Sunday put q
poser to his teacher. The lady was
telling her class how God punished the
Egyptians by causing the first-born of
each household to be slain. The little
boy listened attentively and. at the
proper interval, inquired: What
would God have done if there had been
twins ?"
1t was in a Stumptown Sunday
school visitor, who was interrogating
the children, asked the question:
Why was Lots wife turned into q
pillar of salt?" There was q small
boy, with preternatural growth of
head. piped out: :" s'pose it was be-
cause she was too fresh"
"How many rods make q furlong?"
asked father of his son, a fast urchin,
as he came home one evening from
school. "Well, I don't know" re-
piled the young hopeful +" but I fancy
you'd think one rod made an acher If
you got such q tanning as I did from
old Scroggins this afternoon" The
parent stood aghast.
A lady who had been teaching her
little four-year old the elements Of
arithmetic was astounded by his rum
ming in and propounding the follow
ing problem Mamma, if you had
three butterflies and each butterfly
had a bug in his ear, how many but
terffies would you have ?" The mother
is still at work on the problem.
A student was reprimanded by the
professors for his lateness at morning
prayers, land excused himself on the
plea that the prayers took place too
late. "How," said the professor, " is
six O'Clock too late Pr eyes, sir" re-
piled the student. eff you had them
about 4, I could attend, but no man
could be expected to stay up till six"
A little girl in Philadelphia, when
asked what had been her lesson at
Sunday school, said, I" It was about
the ten tigers" "Ten tigers! You
mean ten lepers, don't you 2" "Weh,
anyhow it was about some of the ami
mails at the geological" There was
one important word in that lesson
which had not been explained.
A gentleman observed an urchin
who had large slice of bread in his
hand, and who was crying very bitter
ly. my son." he exclaimed, what
are you crying about?" Mother
t-boo-hoo-oo-put any butter on
my bread-boo-hoo-oo ~ "Oh, is that
alp" said the gentleman. "Come
dry up your tears and be a man." "It
amt so much the butter" replied the
little urchin, it's the disposition o1
the old woman. AsH
A farmers wife, in speaking of the
smartness, aptness, and intelligence O
her son, a lad six years old, to q lady
acquaintance, said: He can read
fiuently in any part of the Bible. Ne
peat the whole catechism, and week
, onions as we'll as his father" "Yes
, MOTHER" added the young hopeful
} "and yesterday licked Ned Rawson
3 threw the cat into the well and stole
: old Hickey'sgimblet." g.
. A CERTAIN professor was noted 70
having a certain set of illustrations
, from which he could not well deviat'
, without running the risk of a blunder
| In illustrating the powerful effects o
!. prussic acid, he was wont to inform
the class that drop placed on
dogs tongue was sufficient to kill him
On one occasion, when lecturing Il
his class, he said, Mr.. Smith, ad
dressing q young man whose chanc'