Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1879-01-28
WASHINGTON LUNATICs.


Pittsburg Post contributes an interest
ing letter about people of unsound
mind who frequently visit the White
House, and shows what they say and
do. The ushers, however, generally
discover their infrmity and get them
out of the building on some excuse or
other, but they often pass the door
keeper and get into the Presidents
room. Here is one Of them:
THE WOMAN PROM THE DONE.
There is a woman who imagines she
ia the goddess Of liberty from the
dome Of the capital, who goes occasion
ally to warn the President and his
Cabinet of impending woe. This she
does at stated periods. She has lately
been refused admission, and on leaving
she threatened to go back and bring up
her PRESERVES" These consisted, she
said, of all the statues in the old House
OF Representatives, and that of Colum
bus, and the groups on the east front
Of the capitol.
wHIM OF AN OLD GENTLEMAN,
Another daft individual who calls
regularly on the President is an old
gentleman who lives short distance
out of the city on the road to Bladens-
burg. He goes in seriously, and on be-
ing asked what lie wants says, 81 have
come to take my seat" He then tells
how he has been regularly elected
President, and would have come sooner
to enter upon the duties of his office
but some work on his farm prevent his
leaving home. The ushers talk to him
seriously about the matter, and he tells
them they need have no fear of being
turned out, as he don't think Of max
ing any removals. He was asked If he
had a wife, and he replied "No." He
las then told that no unmarried man
could be President. He left immediate
ly with the express determination to
marry as soon as he got home, and then
come back and demand "his seat"
TmR MAN WHO OWNS THE TREASURY.
A man comes down from Pennsylva-
MIA every year to demand possession Of
the treasury and the white house. He
is about thirty-ive years old, dressed
neatly and comfortably, and demands
to &c. the President. When put out
the last time he said, "Tle treasury
and the white house have both been
decided to me, and | want possession OF
both. will submit this time, as do
not wish to make Hayes homeless, but
the next time | come want no foolish
ness. hate to be harsh, but must
have my rights. Just tell him how the
case stands.
WANTS 70 CONVERT THE PRESIDENT.
A woman from Maine, dressed like a
Quakeress, recently stalked into the
east room and spreading large Bible
out on the window sill, held forth in a
loud voice on the necessity Of being
born again. When told that she must
not make so much noise she calmly
told the usher that her mission was to
convert the President of the United
States, and she came to fulfill it. She
left repeating Scriptural texts and an
nouncing her determination to return
and convert Mr.. Hayes.
A CRAZY ASTRONOMER.
An astronomer from Ohio called
few weeks ago. He had theory that
the world was coming to an end in a
few days if he was not made Superin-
tendent of the National Observatory.
He held that if placed in that position
he might, by his knowledge of astrono-
my, avert the impending collision of
the earth with the other planets. He
left perfectly satisfied after the Presi-
dent promised him the position.
AN OHIO CRAZY MAN.
A Dayton, Ohio, man came in one
day with big tin box full Of papers.
These, he said, constituted the creed of
new religion which God had directed
and deputed him to make known to the
world. He wanted the President to
grant him q charter and then he would
start on business basis. He gave his
name as Jacob Schaffer and was partic-
ularly afraid of newspaper men, lest
some of them should get the contents
of his box and publish his creed before
he got his charter. For that reason, he
said, no one should read his papers.
His wife is evidently as insane as he is,
for the day Jacob Schaffer put in his
appearance at the White House Jane
Schaffer telegraphed from Dayton to
the President: "Mr. President, Jacob
will be with you tomorrow to explain
his grand mission. Treat him we'll"
THE MAN wHo CLOSED THE REBELLION.
One morning hard looking customer
came roaring into the White House,
saying, 81 am the man who closed the
rebellion. It's a matter of necessity
that ! see the President. He was told
that the President did not receive visi-
tors at the White House, but every one
who called at Ala Tenth street could
see him. This was the number of the
police station on that street. The man
went promptly to Ala Tenth street and
took a seat. After sitting there awhile,
the keeper asked him what he wanted.
"Oh!" he said, 81 have just called to
see the President" The keeper took in
the situation at a glance, and saying,
"step this way" conducted his visitor
into one of the cells. As he Turned the
kuv in the lock the man inside said,
"If the President comes just show him
right in will your" Certainly" said
the keeper, as he walked back to his
desk.