Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1879-10-16
FEMINITIES,

A man and his wife can never agree
upon what constitutes tidy looking
room; woman will grow irratlble when
she finds half dozen cigar stumps stick
ing to the scorched mantel-piece, and he
can't be expected to keep quiet when he
finds bunch Of long combines in his,
shaving-mug.
A Mr.. Isaac V. Green of Michigan ran
away with his wife's aunt recently. In
other words:
He ran away with his spouse's aunt,
And never again was seen,
Thus proving anew what a rare old plant,
Is the Michigan !. V. Green.
It makes mothers heart revert to her
young days when she comes into the par
lor the next morning after her daughters
beau has been round and finds only one
chair in front of the fireplace, and all
the others sitting along by the wall as
if they hadn't been touched for three
years.
One of the saddest and most vexatious
trials that come to girl when she marries
is that she has to discharge her mother
and depend upon her hired girl.--[Troy
Times. But the saddest time for the
new-made husband is when the wife
dosn't discharge her mother, but takes
her home with her, St. Albans Adver-
tiser.
A citizen went home from the caucus
one night and asked his wife, ibid you
commit an error or do anything out of
character before we were married."
"Why mol What makes you ask such d
questlonf' "Oh, didn't think you had,
but was nominated for town Office to-
night, and knew if you had it would all
be out tomorrow"
Riding in railroad car-Husband:
You are quite comfortable, dear?. Wife:
Yea, love. Husband: The cushions are
easy and soft, ducky? Wife: Yes, dar-
ling. Husband: You don feel any
jolts, pet2 Wife: No, sweetest. Hus-
band: And there is no draught on my
lamb, is there, angela Wife: No, my
ownest own. Husband: Then change
seats with me!
the sight of man wheeling baby car
riage in the street is not sign that the in
FAINT is weak, but that the mans wife is
strong. And yet If we were to judge
from the amiable grin with which the
fond father; under these circumstances,
salutes every passing acquaintance, we
might eroneously suppose thst he was
really doing it just for the fun of the
thing.
An Old Joke in a New Robe -
"Chawles," languidly drawled Josephine,
looking up from her book, II see one of
the studies at West Point is trigonome-
try. What is trigonometry, anyhow"
'Trigonometry," replied Charles, toying
with an invalid moustache, lis Aids
the science of pulling the trigger, of
course" II thou ght so, said Josephine,
resuming her novel.
The Mormon women say their husbands
are the bravest of men. We believe it.
Here the man who ventures on treble
blessedness is regarded as truly heroic
character, but there are no words to ex-
press the true estimate of the man OF
whom Is women are able to say he is a
darling and devoted husband. =:
A young man with the blush of coun-
try life sold out his produce on the mark
ct yesterday and entered shoe store and
said he wanted pair of shoes for his
wife. "What mum ber2" asked the clerk.
The young husband scratched his head,
looked very much embarrassed, and final
ly said: "Well, I've been married eight
months, but this shoe business stumps
me. I don't hardly. believe she wears
'levens, and don't think she kin git
into fives. I think if we split, the differ
ence We'll hit her pretty close" He was
given pair Of Fights, and after squirt
ing along the soles, he observed: ~ guess
them IL do; she's awful proud, and I
know she'll squeeze into 'em for all she's
| worth" -"