Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1879-05-08

| may be about bank, It's lOan-SOme In
stitution.
Money is wise contrivance to place
| fools on level with men of sense
Boston Advertiser.
| 1t is dangerous to ask woman idle
questions when she is adding up a groce-
ry bill.-N. Y. Star.
Crocuses are in blossom, caucuses are
are in full blow, and circuses will soon
leave out.-N. Y. Tribune.
Some of the Canadian youths, despi-
sing walking matches, are engaged in
matches at wood-sawing.
Farmers can prevent rot among their
potatoes by distributing them among
their poor neighbors.
If a man will tell me what he thinks
ov his nabors, can tell him what his
nabOrs think of him.-JOSh Billings.
Senator Davis would make bigger
President than Hayes.
Tramps die now and then. but they
hide their bodies from medical colleges.
An Irishman, Heber dey nam, was
designer and builder of the White
House.
what time does the sun rise these
mornings?" "That depends on whose
son it is; mine ryes at o'clock"
Some people are so constituted as to
be unable to see anything beautiful in
this life-not even in mirror.
The New York Mail wisely remarks
that every man has two roads to happi-
ness open to him. One is matrimony
and the other isn't.
Counterfeit 500 greenbacks are afloat,
and no poor young man who has girl
that loves ice-cream can afford to take
more than dozen in week-Philadel-
phia Chronicle.
Why are your nose and chin constant
ly at variance 2Because words are con-
stantly passing between them.-North
American.
The man who pulled down his white
vest for summer wear struck the season
too previously last week.-N. o. Plea
yune.
About the guiltiest looking people in
this world are man accused of a crime
of which he is innocent, and a newly
married couple trying to pass for veter-
ans.-New York Commercial Advertiser.
You can kill two to three men in Tex
as and nothing is thought of it, but if
you swear in the presence of lady, they
will fine you $40. They are determin-
ad to 6;coorraoo nsafy
An Englishman advocates the use of
corsets for men, but of corset it would
be absurd. Man gets tight enough al
ready.
A very domestic and devoted wife
says she cares more for her eccentric
husbands income than she does for his
out go.
They have discovered tree in South
America that gives milk. A Yankee
would make pumps out of the wood and
get a patent.
A Georgia man hired negro woman
to take care of the family baby, and ra-
ther than hear the child cry she threw it
into well and offered to work for less
wages.-Free Press.
Smith, who had always been tough
one" has just died. The physician is
met coming from the house by Brown,
who asks, Doctor, how is Smith, Is
he out Of danger?" Physician-"No; he
is dead, poor fellow, but he is far from
being out of danger, fear"
A ragged looking pedestrian came to
the back door of the Dunshudder man.
sion, and the hired girl shouted, We've |
nothin' for tramps." "Fair lady, pause"
said the visitor; "Tm not tramp or a
beggar." what are ye, then?" Mad |
am, I'm solicitor general"
Sticking to it. my DEAR" said vain,
old man to his wife, "these friends here |
won't believe that 1 am only forty-five
years old. You know speak the truth, |
don't you?" "Well," answered the SIM
pie wife, Il suppose must believe it,
John, as you've stuck to it for fifteen
years"
A newly-married lady, who, as in du-
ty bound, was very fond of her husband,
his extreme ugliness of |
person, once said to a witty friend:
"What do you think? My husband has
laid out $40 for baboon on purpose to |
please mep "The dear little manw
cried the other. "Well,i it's just like himl"