St. Landry democrat., 1879-08-02
3}1aiH1 And 4l1hims.

SOIue, Wnere Lne starlight
" Not much" she said " for do like oi'ie,S'
And the dew an a masma compe. me- 10 Ian"
auinine and whisky, dog fennel tea,
Whisky and quassia, quantum suti,
Degwood and whisky, whisky free,
Ouinine straight and all such stuff
Huntington Hot0keye
The art critic, describing recent
collection of bric g. brac, says: "The
visitors eye will be struck, on entering
the room, with q porcelain umbrella"
.."1t is for you to say" said Judge
Butler of the United States district
court to Philadelphia jury, "yhether
a man who plays poker for money can
have good character"
."That is what ] call finished ser"
mon" said an adofer to an indifferent
as they wended their way from church.
eyes," was the reply with a JSawn' oo'
do you know, thought it nevev would
be-
"A little Sunday school miss wa
asked by her teacher "What must
people do in order to go to heaven?'
Die, suppose" replied the little one.
I he teacher didn't question her any fur
ther.
"A writer on archery says: A lady
walking through the fields or on unfre-
quented roads is we'll protected it she be
an expert archer, for thirty pound bow
will put an arrow through the stoutest
tramp"
=. Elevator boy Ito woman who had
ridden three times f.om bottom to top
of the building)-" -"WeI1, where do you
want to get out ?" Woman" We'll,
indade, oi'm not qouite shure, but lave
me as near the Ould Colony depot as ye
CAM
..Aunty-Well, love, did Mr.. M'Siller
propose7 Edith-No aunty; but he
| was on the verge of it when- Aunty
When What, darling7 Edith-When
the clock struck and reminded him that
there was only just time to catch the
last cheap train, and he had return
| ticket.
"A Cleveland lady who has lately
passed tew weeks in Paris always Seters
to her kitchen girl as her "6lle de cui'
sine" Her son will insist on referring to
| the worthy domestic as our spot rassler'
| much to his mothers horror-but ne
hasn't had the benefit of fortnight in
"Paree."
"A lady with more money than learu--
ing called at jewelry shop recently and
asked to zee their solitaire diamond
rings. A tray Of single~stone rings was
shown to her. She looked them over
carefully, and st last selected one.
"That is 8 very pretty stone," she said,
"and If you will assure me that it is
solitaire will take it.
"A new novel is called "a Lady's
Four Wishes" An old bachelor says he
hasn't read the book, but he knows what
her wishes are. "First, new bonnet;
second. new bonnet third, new bon
net forth, new bonnet From this,
one might suppose that the old bachelor
was married man.
When some one who thought hlm~
self very bright and witty told Churchill
with q growl that 8 friend of his was
20 dull that if you said good thing he
couldn't understand it, the poet looked
up from a line he was just finishing and
replied: "My dear sir, don't believe
you ever tried him."
Mrs. Brown had often heard Mrs
Johnson speak of Mr.. Nostrum, the apo
thecary, as man of fine physique, a man
of powerful physique, etc. After that
she would send nowhere else for her
medicines, for, said she, 81 want the
best if there's any best to the nasty
stuff"
."Wbat shall preach about % laid a
| minister to the pastor of q colored flock
which he was about to address. I" Well,
! mos any subject will be 'ceptaple," was
the reply "on)y I'd like to gih you one
word OBJ caution "What is that p
"Well, eff was you, I'd tech very light
on de ten commandments" "1ndeed,
and why ?" "Oh, cos hab notise dat
dey mos always nab damp'nin' effect
on de congregation"
Victor Hugo was talking about age,
and confessed, in charming humor,
that the most disagreeable advance to
him was that from thirty nine to forty.
"Oh, that terrible fortyV he said.
But" remarked some one, II should
think it great deal better to be forty
than fifty :N9t at ALL" replied
Hugo; "forty years is the old age of
youth, while fifty years is the youth of
old age"
"A lady in Portland, Me-, called at a
iewelry store, and after making a pur-
chase went home. Two hours later
messenger called at her house and in
formed her that she had left something
at the jewelers.. "Now, let me see, she
unused, "what can it be7 Here is my
pocket book, and there on the sofa ia my
fan, and I have got my gold watch here
and my bonnet, why, where is my bon
net oh, there it is on the floor; it tell
off the table-and really I can't think
what I have forgotten-Why, to be
sure? How absent>minded I am I des