Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-06-20
TIE jolly, Jolly Picnic.
New Haven Register,

Ever since that fatenl day when our
first parents INDUCED in the picnic that
so dlsaStronSly terminated, these out.ot-
door recreatlve entertainments have
been popular, and generally followed
with y similar lack Of apticlpatory pleas.
urS.
How 10 successfully conduct pic.
MIC is an art in itself, and il is So little
understood that we otter few stray
hints
Ii is &c the highest inheritance that
Your mother.in.law should I've invited.
As commanler.in.chie. she witlhc IN
.diSpenSahle.
Also ask your mother Somebody
must be on hand 10 wash the dishes.
About week beforehand send up n
beef's tongue, piece Of corued beef. i
rcS sd ny hit of lamb, n few sausaSeS, one
or tw chickens, and set your wife to
cooking.
She will also see that fifteen varieties
OF cake and two kinds 81 washington
pie, are provided, She will have lots of
fun running TO the neighhors after diff
ferent recipes.
"
to have it, There lisa shady little nook
in your own yard that is the best place
in the world, but of course that is not "a
be thought Of. To "go somewhere" is
the primordlal germ Of the picnic.
All things being ready, make an early
start. Load up the baskets and kettles,
Your mothcr.inlaw You will find al
ready loaded,
The ground chosen will hc about
waist deep IN undcrhrush, and heavy
with the mornings dew, hut it will be
lust lovely IL all young girls you
have invited, Hope you didn't forget
to he generous i'll invitations oE this
sort.
About this time expect To be SUM
m0ncd Ivy the commander,in-rhief To
build table You haven't board
or Ratchet handy, but that makes no
ditlercnce,a table must he had, and you
will find yourself sneakingly stealing mp
behind n farmers barn and making
away, Samson-hke, with stable door
on your shoulder.
Make arrangements for ehowder.
One that you intend to stir mp your.
self just To show 'em how ii is done
A picnic without u chowder would he
like barrel without y hungholc.
Soon the smoke will be curling mp
among the trees and the owner OF tho
land will suddenly pop up his head from
behind stone wall and inquire: "Who
told you to build fire on my lot 2"
You will have to humiliatingly nod i'll
NlNN a ~ u a.,
chief, II is the only way to keep the
man quiet. lie has got motner-in-
law himself, very likely,
You will begin to boa little discour-
aged by this time. But never mind, il
is always darkest just before dawn, and
perhaps one Of the Jones girls will cut
up the onions. Perhaps,
After while the chuwder is done,
yes, completely finished by burning To
the kettle and you get mad, and would
tip the whole business into the smoking
ruins Of the sureptitlous fire, but YOU
don't dare to.
Nobody tastes of it hut once. That
makes YOU feel mean but you ought
to have known better than to attempt
the ieat.
A picnic without lemonade would he
just no picnic ut all. So you tip over
the wash tup and mop out the dust and
concoct n beverage that has all the de-
licionsness Of the lemon combined with
the flavor OF onions that were broaght
to the ground in that self-same tub
Everybody is getting n little tired Of
the affair, but just rs YOU inveigle Miss
Jones into charming stroll beneath the
shade, and all that sort Of thing, the
eagle eye of the commandment chief
rests upon the proceeding, and good
bye to the only bit of enjoyment you
have had during the whole day.
An ominous rumble Of thunder and
hurry and scurry of tumbling crock
ery-ware back into the wagon, and IL
race with the coming shower, in which
the shower wins by II great many laps,
winds up day OF rare pleasure or II
day in which pleasure has been rare,
just rs you are of n mind to call it.