The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1879-05-21

table, but with my first view of it | be-
gan to have fearful misgivings. 1t was
an almost colorless fluid, with slice of
lemon, sprig of parsley, and several
cloves floating in each plate, and it tasted
like hot water well salted. My resolu-
ton was taken in an instant. l made up |
my mind that would eat tDat soup, and |
/ did, but Jack never attempted second |
spoonful.
"What is this, my dearP" asked with
great cheerfulness, pretending to be en-
lirely at my ease, as the next course
appeared.
Emily smiled sweetly as she answered,
"That is Russian fish-pie, prepared after
the same recipe used in the emperor's
kitchen"
"Let us see, then, whether our tastes
agree with the emperor's, said face
tiously, turning to Jack, but he didn't
seem disposed TO talk much, fancied.
Truth compels me 20 say yhat, after the
most careful dissection of that fish-pie, L
did not discover any fish. ! found an
onion, slice of hard boiled egg, some
more parsley, and finally a scrap of meat,
but that was all. l was getting percep-
tibiy nervous now, when new course
relieved me. "Here comes something at
| last" l said TO myself, as dish of chops,
each with fringed white paper wrapped
daintily about the bone; and accom-
panied by tomato sauce, made its appear
arce. My dropping spirits revived.
''Chops are always chops" was my next
reflection. Alas! didn't know Profess
sor Stoopann.
The moment 1 attacked my chop
found it fallacy: 1t was composed of
something, | could not tell what, care
fully shaped, and then tied fast to-
nothing more or less than toothbrush
handle, beautifully scraped and polished.
This was too much. l looked at
Jack. l saw the expression of dismay
on his face. glanced across at Emily,
serenely unconscious of my feelings; and
| yielding to an uncomfortable impulse, L
ordered the boy in a voice of thunder to
remove that dish.
As to the rest of that dinner can only
say it was worthy of the beginning.
Even what appeared to be magnificent
tart or pudding collapsed like a soap
bubble at the first touch of the spoon,
and left nothing but a little sweetened
froth behind, too scanty to be divided.
l was not at all surprised when Jack
pleaded an engagement, and hastened
away, without waiting to smoke cigar
with me. He was going to dine, / knew.
Having seen him down stairs, re-
turned to my wife, who was both as
tonished and indignant at my somewhat
warmly expressed opinions about the
dinner.
"That soup!" she exclaimed; "you
didn't like that soupP Why, it's one of
Professor Stoopann's own inventions.
He taught us to make it of the water in
which the potatoes have been boiled,
and it is very nourishing as well as
economical. The professor has lived on
it for years"
"And that fish-pie," I interrupted,
"what was that made ofP-for there
was no fish there"
Emily looked disappointed. "Why,
how did you find that out so soonP" she
asked; "for i thought the deception was
perfect. Professor StoOpann said no one
could tell the difference. That's Won
derful. But since you've guessed so
much I'll tell you the rest. Thatsfish-
pie was made entirely of some scraps of
cold roast beef, and is even more eco
nomical than the soup"
"And how about those chops? Can
you tell me, my dear, what they were
made of, or why you placed such an I'M
palatable joke on our tableP" was my
next question.
But Just here Emily burst into tears.
"I-I-think you're-too-cruel," she
sobbed. after I'd taken such pains
and burned my face and my poo-or fin
gers-and tried all the professors best
dishes-just to be scolded its too
muchm
"But, Emily, don't you see" be-
gan. She interrupted me.
, II cut all those handles off our old
brushes. and polished them all myself
/ with sand-paper, and tied them on, and
everything, and then YOU find fault. II
is cruel! Oo-oo-oor
= "Still, my dear, it is a pity that you
l had not chosen some other occasion fol
t that display of ingenuity" said l, not
vet vanquished. "You must have
noticed that Jack ate nothing"
"Oh, Charles, you are too unkind
y Didn't he praise that puff puddingP anC
l wasn't it really loyelyP and all made
r out of one egg and two spoonfuls o.
4 sugar! Wasn't that a success, l should
like to lmowP But you are monster o
r ingratitude. Oo-Oo-oow
: Let me draw veil over this scene
5 Suffice it that peace was finally restored
i by compromise. l agreed to say NJ
+ more about the dinner, and Emily
pledged herself to abandon PrOfesso
: Stoopann's methods forever. Perhaps
/ if no new cooking class is organized il
v our vicinity, l shall be safe; but l an
II not sure. .-HGrper'S BGzGr.