Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-06-11
week, and the sales on change bear
the remark out.

A San francisco clothing dealer is
said to have, in good faith, offered Law
renee Barrett a 500 night when play
ing Hamlet in that city, if he would,
after uttering the words Customary
suits of solemn black" add "the kind
they sell at - for 1914. "-Indianopoh
NeWs.
New York has Georgia peaches al
ready. buffalo wants no peaches from
that rebellious and hopelessly demo-
cratic state. Buffalo can wait. And
beside, they are poor little, wormy,
scrawny things, that are not fit for any
body to eat, anyhow.-Bufulo Express.
Eve was the first and we reckon the
only woman who did not gather up her
dress in both hands and yell at the sight
Of a snake.-ONo,ua { Kan. Republican,.
The Dutch word for insurance COM
pany is Levenverzekeringm
There are many people who would call
the insurance companies by worse
names than this if they could only in
vent them.
A man has been sent to prison in
London for practicing little gambling
device not unknown at church fairs
that Of twirling an index on q sort of
wheel of fortune" for halfpence
There is something curious about a
keyhole. A man can always find it in
the dark, when he is going out, and never
can discover it by moonlight when he is
going in-New London Telegram.
1t was disagreeable to find ones sha-
wing brush connected with the backing
box, but who could chide tired wife
with black streak meandering down
her little nose?-New York Commercial
advertiser.
There is at least one thing which no
one ever saw, and that is the facial gy-
ration man makes when he is feeling
for something in the dark and doesn't
know at what moment he is going to
collide with half-open door, Uncle
Sam. .
A CITIZEN of Portsmouth, N. H., who
is popularity supposed to be connected
with two or three secret societies, was
lately called upon to preside over a
church business meeting, and unwit-
tingly astonished some Of the brethren
in putting vote by saying: "All in IA
vor please manifest it by the voting
sign Of the order"
An ambitious young clerk in a whole
sale grocery establishment resolves to
enter the civil service, and so presents
himself before the examiners. One of
the questions is, What is coffee, and
where does it come from?" 20, come
now, you know" said the candidate;
II can't give away the boss-allow me
to plead privilege. That's profession
al secret"
When they start in to have big time
liz Kansas they have big time gener-
ally. The Empire City Echo of the 18th
ult. says: ga lady gave birth to triplets
while attending the golden wedding of
her parents, at Mound City, recently"
Once when Beethoven was hard up,
he wrote letter to friend asking for
loan of S.. He didn't get the money,
but perhaps it would cheer him up to
know that that letter sold for $3.50
last week. Doubtless Beethoven would
have given the buyer that letter origin
ally at lower rates and been we'll
pleased.
A Quakeress, jealous of her husband,
watched his movements, ana actually
one morning discovered the truant kiss
ing and hugging the servant girl. Broad
brim was not long in discovering the
face of his wife, as she peeped through
the half-open door, and rising with all
the GOODNESS of general, thus addressed
her: "Betsey, thee had better quit
peeping, or else thee will cause dis
turbance in the family"
Some poetical paterfamilias thus de-
scribes the trials of a family man:
When bed time comes and curtains fall
And round [ 60 the doors to lock,
! Ere lamps 60 out my wife doth call.
| Remember, dear, to wind the clock.
| When boots are off and for the day
/ All irkSome cares seem put 30 rout,
| l hear wife's voice from dreamland say,
+ :" Be sure you put the kitten out"
When stretched between the sheets lie,
| And heavy lids have ceased to wink,
| From trundle bed hear cry.
! Il want dwnk, want dwink.''