davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27
Bad for IndiananOlis.

A friend who attended services at a
"culied church" in Indianapolis, some
two months since, gives ludicrous ac-
count of the way things are conducted
by the religiously inclined man and
brother. The preacher was more than
usually eloquent, impressing upon his
auditors the miraculous power of Christ
to save sinners.
"Dars nothing he can't do" ex.
claimed the dusky Wilberforce. "He
kin sabe de berry wust of ye, no matter
what ye've done. When he was here
"Herew interrupted a sable listener;
"dus yer mean He was herein Injenapu-
lus?
"To be course. Wot yer 'sturbin' de
meetin' for, Pete Johnson? To be course
He was here in Injenapulus."
"I dusn't blebe it."
"Den you lebe de church; we doesn't
want no infddles here"
al isn't gwine ter lebe de church, an
I isn't gwine to blebe der blessed Christ
ebber come to Injenapulus; an now I
tells yer dat nebber heered it afore, an
wife folks nebber heered it. Wite folks
don blebe it. Dey amt no such fools.
An dey knew dat jes' es long es dare
wus any odder place to 60 to, de blessed
Lord nd nebber rcome to Injenapulus, not
much"
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27
a0neer FreaksoYana Engine.

An accident occurred on the +. P. &
w. railway, that is probably without 4
parallel in the history of railroading, in
illinois at least-botL for its rarity and
absence OF serious results. As train No.
2, engine l3, was in the vicinity of
Glasford, ILL.,, going at speed OF nearly
forty miles an hour, cow suddenly
bounded in front of the engine. There
was no warning, whatever the front end
of the engine passed over the animal,
and in doing so was lifted clear OFT the
rails and evidently at that time was un-
coupled from the tender. Going at such
a high rate of speed, it continued some
twenty yards on the ground, tearing it
up and even uprooting a stump in its
mad career, and what is very strange,
kept on its wheels until it came to a
standstill, where it stood clear of the
main track.
The remainder of the engine and train
kept the track and ran past the engine
about Il quarter of mile, when it was
brought to stop with brakes. The jar
of the escaped engine WAS SO slight, that
but few passengers were made aware OF
the accident until told. The engineer,
John Welch, SIT on his seat throughout
the affair, Il mere spectator of the Hueer
freak of hisemginc. Superintendent W.
+. Merrill was sitting i'll the chair car
and was greatly surprised when told OF
what had happened. No one hurt or
even scared.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27
Returning q Favor.

A tinker was travelling in q country
town; and, having travcrsed many miles
without finding anything to do, he stop
ped, weary and hungry, at a tavern.
Here he got into conversation with q
glazier, to whom he related his troubles.
The latter sympathized with him deeply,
and, telling him he should have a job be-
fore long, advised him to so to his din
ner and eat heartily. The tinker took
his advice, ate his fill, and when he re-
turned to the tap-room he was overjoyed
to hear that the landlord required his
services to mend lot of pans and kettles
which had suddenly sprunga leak. The
tinker at once set to work, accomplished
the task, received Il liberal sum in pay
ment, and started on his way rejoicing.
Upon reaching the outside of the house
he found the glazier, who said:
"Wcll, you see l told you the truth.
I procured You a job of work, and how
do you think I accomplished itT'
81 am sure 1 cannot tell" ," replied the
tinker.
II will tell you," rejoined the glazier.
"Yos told me you were weary, hungry,
and dinncrless Iknew the landlord was
we'll off and doing good business; and
so watched the opportunity, and started
leak in every utensil | could get hold
Of"
The tinker, with many thanks and a
heart full of gratitude, resumed his
journey. But he had not proceeded
many yards before he reached the village
church, when brilliant idea struck him
the glazicr had bcfricndcd him; he
would befriend the glazier. The church,
he thought, could afford to bear slight
loss in a good cause; so, taking 4 posi-
ton where he could MT be seen, lie rid
died every window in the edifce with
stones, and then, highly elatcd with his
exploit, he retraced his steps to notify
the glazier that he would speedily have
very important job.
"Sir," said he, ~ am happy to in
form you that fortune has enabled me to
return the kindness | received from you
an hour since"
"How SOL? answered the glazier,
pleasantly.
al have broken every pane of glass in
the church." answered the tinker; " and
you, of course, will be employed to put
them in again."
The glaciers jaw fell, and his face as
sumcd blank expression as he snid, in
tremulous tone:
"You don't mean that, do your"
Certainly" replied the tinker;
"there's not a whole pane of glass in the
building. 'One good turn deserves
another you know"
eyes" answered the glazierin despair;
"but, you scoundrel, you have ruined
me; for keep the church windows in
repair Oy the year."
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27
A Scotch Story.

A certain minister having become
much addicted to drink, his Presbytery
had to interfere and get the minister to
sign the pledge. The result was that
the sudden reaction was too much for
him, and he became so i'll that the
doctor was sent for. The doctor said he
must begin to take his toddy again.
This the minister said he could not do,
as he mad taken the pledge The doctor
replied that lie might get bottle or two
quietly, and nobody but their own
selves and the housekeeper would know
it. "Man," said the minister, "ny
housekeeper is worse than all the
Presbytery put together, so that would
not do"
However, it was arranged that the
doctor should bring in the whisky and
sugar, and that the minister was 10
make up the toddy in the bedroom
with the hot water he got for shaving
purposes in the morning. The result
was the minister got speedily we'll; and
one day on going out, the doctor said to
the minister's housekeeper: "Well,
Margaret, your minister is quite himself
again" "There's no doubt of that, sir,"
she replied; "he's quite we'll in the
body, but there's something game wrong
WI his upper story" whats there,
Margaret?' asked the doctor. "Weel,
sir, dinna ken, but he asks for Shawn
water six or seven times day"
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27
t,S0me,New York .Misers.s

The misers of this city. writes the
New York correspondent Of the Ro-
chester Den,oc'af, have been chiefly
among the lower classes. One of the
most conspicuous of this number, when
asked by end to Use his property for
his personal comfort, since his heirI
would only spend it, replied thus: "s
take more pleasure in saving the money
than they will ever have in using it."
Several instances are on record in this
CITY of dcstitution and death, in which
large sums were afterwards found. In
the John Lewis case, the estate is nearly
S1,000,000. There is also the instance OF
cold man Wells" whose heirs recently
tried to prove him insane. They failed
in this, and hence the old man is left to
still increase those accumulations which
must eventually V come into their hands.
One Of the latest cases to attract atten-
ton is that of the rag-picker, Samuel
Leach, who died in tenement house in
great misery. The coroner found the
corpse the solitary occupant of miSer.
able attic. 1t might have been buried
by public charity, had not the coroner
began an Immediate search. A barrel of
dirty rags which stood in the room proved
to have been a place of concealment, for
it contained a quantity of greenbacks
and specie, and also several greasy bank
books, which had done good service. On
further examination it was discovered
that this chiflonicr, who was generally
suppose to be miscrably poor, owned two
houses. He preferred, however, to live
in an attic, as it was a better conceal
ment of his wealth, which is now cstima-
ted at $4,000. Since this fact is known
q large number of relatives have put in
their claims, and when the case was
called, FIVE lawyers arose, representing an
equal number of contestants. How
many relatives dead man has, if he
only leaves an estate.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27
Type OF Character on Railroad Trains.

There are certain general types OF
character which are observable on almost
every railroad train, and with which we
are so familiar that we pay them little
attention. There is the man of. many
bundles-a family man of course-who
bears in his countenance the painful
consciousness of having lost something
or forgotten something, and who, in .
desperate endeavor to recover q parcel
which has slipped down from one arm,
scatters upon the car floor an assortment
of parcels which escape from the other,
and are prom pity trodden ipon by some
haSsy wretch behind him. There is the
man who is always late, and who, drop
ping breuthlcsslv into seat after brief
race with the retreating train, wipes his
perspiring brow, and recites TO his
neighbor the circumstances of his deten-
ton and hurry. There is the nervous
woman, who, after having studied all
the timetables, scrutinized the placards
on the cars, and harassed the ticket
agent to the verge of insanity, ati1icts
her fcllow-passengers with shrill and
trcmuious inquiries as to whether the
train runs through to Albany, and
whether the car she is in is the right
one. Haplcss and carcworn individual!
Small good does the journey do her, for
the train has hardly started before she
discovers that she has lost her ticket;
and it is not until she is we'll along to-
ward her destination, and has goaded
the conductor into frenzy and herself
into tears, that she finds the bit of paste
board in some unexplored recess of her
traveling-bag, where she had placed it
for safc-kceping. There is the woman
who will bave the window open, and the
irascible old gentleman Immediately be-
hind her VINO will have it shut. There
is the markct-woman with gigantic
baskets odorous of herring and onions,
and other delicacics. There is the man
who sleeps the sleep of intoxication, and
who, yielding only an inarticulate re,
Spouse to the protests of the conductor,
ard disclosing about his person no trace
of a ticket, is presently bundled off by
the brakemen. And there is the multi.
tudinous infant-weary, wide awake,
and vociferous-an object of loathing
and detestation to every bachelor in the
car
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27
Changes in Fowiing Pieces.

at is quite remarkable" said Senator
Roscoe Conkling, sitting on his front
porch in Utica the other evening chat
ting with one of his neighbors, " to note
the changes which are constantly being
made in the construction of fowling
pieces. When was lad I remember
we used to have shotguns with 4 bore
not larger, l should say, than the end OF
nv thumb. Passing through Rhode
Island the other day I saw little red
nosed man, evidently going snipe-hunt-
ing, who had double-barreled shotgun,
the barrels of which, should say, from
the passing observation that I obtained,
had diameter fully equal to the Crowd
of my hat"
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27
Robbers All Alike.
fBosson Commercial Bulletin. :


1t is an indisputable fact that all the
malefactors who make a profession of
robbery are absolutely one like the
other, no matter to what category of the
cloth they belong; the same passions, the
same needs, the same appetites are the
prime causes of their actions. In spite Of
the assertions of certain philanthropists,
people very rarely steal in order to eat {;
three great motives which impel men to
stray from the path of rectitude and to
engage in the most culpable actions are
women, cards and drink. Exceptions to
this rule exist, however, and they have
been noted. Rafinat, who at the time
was implicated in the robbery of the
medals of the Royal Library, redoubt-
able caroublear Zone who steals by the
aid of false keys), sent home to his
family the product of what he himself
called his expeditions. For one of this
kind you will find ten thousand who
have no other end in view than that of
satisfying their brutal passions.
\ thief, working" in crowd, steals
a portemonnaie containing fifty francs;
he quickly goes to some dram shop of i'll
repute, drinks, CANDLES, and picks up
some disorderly creature with whom he
spends his last centime; member Of
some elegant club cheats at cards and
wins ten thousand francs; he takes to
supper at the Maison dor woman
tres la mode, whose father is coach
man and whose brother is convict.
What difference is there between these
two incidents, which occur every day?
None. What difference between these
two men? None; the morality is the
same, the passions are similar; every
thing is alike except the surroundings.
And vet, should the second of these men
perchance be called upon to form part
of the jury, which is to pronounce upon
the fate of the first, he will answer Yes,
without hesitation, because, he will say
to himself (and in good faith, perhaps,
that it is necessary to make an example
and reassurc society.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27
Tn the Matter of Ages.

Mr.. Walt Whitman, who, although he
is gifted with frosty locks, has not yet
come to sixty years, has been heard to
tell this story of himself:
I was in a street car in Camden one
day not long ago, when an 1rishman
came aboard. He was q middle-aged,
respectable looking fellow, but he had
been imbibing pretty literally. He sat
down beside me and stared hard. Finally
he hitched a little closer and leaned
forward to look in my face. l felt ready
for some fun, but I never noticed him
Just looked as stern and unapproachable
as possible. But he nodded, and grinned
and hitched again, bringing his face
close to my ear, then in voice husky
but loud, he said:
"An' an how ould are ye?"
The passengers smiled, but I never
noticed him-iust looked solemnly out
at the opposite window. The 1rishmar
thought / was deaf, so he raised his voice
and shouted:
"An'-how- ould are yeT'
"Sir-r-rw I exclaimed, turning or
him fercely. But he was not to be put
down.
"How ould are yees?" he fairly yelled
right in my ear. ,
If it had happened in New York
horse car everybody would have screamed
out laughing; but Philadelphia folk:
will be proper if they die; so they only
smiled behind their handkerchiefs.
turned round to the fellow, and looking
as stern as ever 1 could, said slowly:
"I am one hundred and thirty-ire.
His under jaw dropped, he sank back
in his seat and never spoke again.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27
Railroads In France and the United
States.

Of all the industries and enterprises
undertaken in the United States, there
is no one that so conspicuously shows the
intelligent energy of our people as the
progress that has been made in the con-
struction of railroads. These modern
convcniences for the promotion Of inte-
rior intercourse have been resorted to by
civilized nations in proportion to their
enlightened appreciation of the benehts
arising from that rapid and cheap inter-
communication, which invites the ex-
change of commodities and the extension
of social communion. The Railroad
Ga,ctte uses an official report just made
in France on the railroad system in that
country, in instituting comparison OF
some of It's important points with those
of the system here. In every view the
superiority seems to be with US. The
favorable contrasts in some respects are
surprising. We quote from the Gazette:
The French railroad system, according
to the official report just published,
produced the following results in 1878
compared with 1877:
1878 1877 liner. Pc.
Miles r:orkcd Dec 81 l..... 1886 1882 434 S3
Av. worked during year."!3,i9S 1$,o5S 440 S4
Receipts per mile ......... 1908 L., ,562 456 SO
Thrgross receipts were: Is7s sl75,7ll 1888; 1877,
sl6I IlS5,SI5; increase, Sll, ,7OSa5Si per cent. IL
France has an ares of 100000 square
miles, and has 3G,000,000 inhabitants;
and the most thickly peopled part OF the
United States, that east of Indiana and
that north of the Ohio and the Potomac
New England, the middle States,
Maryland and Ohio have 222, 900 square
miles, and, by the census of 1870, l5,-
$4,000 inhabitants, and now probably
1S,500,000; and they now have 25,SO9
miles of railroad. France then has one
mile of railroad to l4.S square miles OF
territory and 2,620inhabitants; the east
ern United States one mile of road to
SOC square miles of area and to 71S in
habitants. There is nearly twice as much
land and nearly four times as many
people to support railroad in France,
as in the most thickly populated portion
of the United States of similar area.
The average contribution per square mile
of area and per inhabitant to the earn-
1nGS OF INC rIeuCu IalllOduS, Was gov I
per square mile {S1.35 per acrel and
S4.90 per inhabitant. In the United
States territory referred to, the earn
ings of the roads were 1928 per mile
(and so much larger in the aggregate,
from about twice the mileage, than the
earnings of the French roads, though
nearly third less per mile); and the
average per square mile of area was
Sl,O97 (Sl.07 per acre), and S1S.l1 per
inhabitant--the latter nearly three times
as much as in France, where there are
nearly four times as many people per
mile of road.
In the United States, however, very
large portion Of the earnings of the roads
is from traffic coming from beyond this
district, which is not the case in France.
About one-half of the total earnings of
$4,000 miles of railroads in the United
States 90 to the roads of the states
named, having one-third of the total
mileage.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27
Why We Commence Dinner With Soup.

Sir Henry Thompson.I
The rationale of the initial soup has
often been discussed; some regard it rs
calculated to diminish digestive power,
on the theory that so much fluid taken
at first dilutes the gastric juices. But
there appears to be no foundation for
this belief. A clear soup. or the fluid
constituents of q pmc', disappear almost
Immediately after entering the stomach,
and in no way interfere with the gastric
juice, which is stored in its appropriate
cells ready for action. The habit of
commencing dinner with soup has, with
out doubt, its origin in the fact that ali
ment in this fluid form-in fact, ready
digestcd soon enters the blood and
rapidly refrcshes the hungry man, who,
after a considerable fast and much
activity, sits down with sense of eX-
haustion to commence his principal
meal. In two or three minutes after he
has taken q plate of good warm con-
somme, the feeling of exhaustion dlsap-
pears, and irritaDility gives way to the
gradually rising sense of good fellowship
with the circle. Some persons have the
custom of allaying exhaustion with a
glass of sherry before food gastronomlc
no less than physiological blunder, in
juring the stomach and depraving the
palate. The soup introduces at once
into the system small installment OF
of ready-digested food, aud saves the
short period of time which must be
spent by the stomach in deriving some
nutrfment from solid aliment; as we'll as
indirectly strengthening the organ OF
digestion itself for its forthcoming duties.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27
An Old Puzzle Revived.

1t is said that gentleman in Paris has
offered prize of 10000 francs to anyone
who will draw the annexed figure with a
pencil or pen without lifting either from
the paper, or interfering with any line,
or portion of line, previously made.
The thing can be DONE" and the doer
has only to 60 to to France, prove his
ability to conquer the puzzle, and take
the reward:
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27

And there were tears in her eyes, too,
when. as she busted the sitting-room
next morning, she came across new
book on the table the very one she had
been wanting, and, looking on the fy-
leaf, read the words: ..
"To sister who is not like most girls, be-
cause she is better than most girls.--RoB."
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27

"CLEMI is dem punkins meller?'
''Why, dem amt punkins; denis aigs.'
"Aigs! 60 way Glenn, you'm steppin' on
fax; why, aigs don't KUN wild yaller
shells." 90 yes, Pompy dem Chiney
fellers duz up chores ditferen' from us,
an deir chickens alters draps deir aigs
wild de yelk turned out"
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27

IT is said that nothing succeeds like
success. Just put a boy in conjunction
with a watermelon, and if he don't suck
seed more than success we miss our
guess.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27
TramDS in Nevada.

The Elko (Nev.) Independent tells how
a gang of tramps attempted TO capture
the town of Humboldt Wells. There
were about thirty in the gang, who
stripped themselves naked and performed
war dances before the private residences,
to the music of obscene songs. They re-
fused to leave town, and boasted that
they never had worked, and swore that
they never would. The citizens. rot en-
joying this style of Rentz minstrelsy,
organized and drove the merry loafeTs
outside the town limits. The tramps
did not 60 far, and threatened to come
back and burn the village. At this the
citizens organized second party, of
about twenty-five horsemen, composed
partly of vaqueros, and, in the language
of an eye witness, it was an interesting
sight to see those tramps go up the hill
to Cedar Pass, begging Tor mercy ut every
jump" At a meeting held after their
return the citizens thoroughly organized
vigilance committee, and notices have
been posted on the railroad water tanks
and other conspicuous places wsrning all
tramps to hurry on.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27

ACT well at the moment, and you
have performed a good action to all
eternity.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1879-11-27

Mr.. F1TzNooDLE at Newport: At
dinnah-'pon my soul the cook doesn't
turn out things at all badly; aw he's q
Fwenchman- I sat next to Miss Marwy
Slocum, the gyurl with the blue eyes
the quite pwetty but scwaggy blonde.
She made herself d-d-doasidly agweeable
in twue American style-althoug h l
don't think could explain pwecisely
what style that is. She is said to have .
gweat deal of landed pwoperty and
money, and to be verwy anxious to and
some English fellaw of good family to
entah into matrimonial violations with
her, in the same mannah that young
Paget was captured by an American
gyurl whose former patwonymlc has
escaped my memory. The numtah OF
questions she asked was pwodigious.
Perwhaps something had disagwced with
her to excite her interwogative qualities.
Was 1 not tired of Amerwica? How
long had Jack and I been heah? Should
I conclude to make this country my
wesidence? Why didn't I get marwied!
Wasn't English society evah SO much
niceah than the deswiption of arwange-
ment in this country? My weiplies, IS
a rule, were simply "Aw."-Puck.