The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-07-12
WIT AND HUMOR.

80 sI ~; W. p ,I loVeg' asked Joseph Coo
"Of course thby can," replied Ell
ny, last yearp saw u watch sprin.
rope walk, a horse fly, a match bo;;
peanut stang, mill dam, an oystt
ny, ana cat fish and this year, "cor
.inueu Ell, expect to see a 'peac
bnS blow gin sling and brandy smasl
Anything md RE, Mr.. Perkinsp,
why, yes, L Expect to see ston
renee, cane brqke, and a bank run,
,ou Diu you eVerIee shoe shop, a gur
poll, or hear a pdflsh bawlP" aske
emo; but I've seen a plank walk
notse Whlp, a tHe toad, and l wOul,
not 20 surprlsedto see the Great AT
ulIic COAST, the Pacific slope, u tire,
AS AR. Cook lift, ELI told him tina
!,e no nao 0lteh sen very mystsriou
thtngs-that he had seen a uniforn
smile. ="
why, Eve seq u sword fish," sale
mr COOK. I've Pen hogs skin boots
100, ana once baw some alligator's
nae shoes. YeY' he continued, "Mr
ferklns, have ven heard the bark OF
tree-actually Gen the tree bark, seen
~ hoiier ana commence to leave. The
tree held on to It's trunk, which they
were trying to s9ke for board"
TOO MUCH GRhMAR.-The peril OF
employing highl| educated younr men
as clerks was ag}n illustrated recently
a. ~ WOMAN yV stoPpe| at a green grOcor's
Oh W oodWard aHnue and asked:
"Is them lettlb fresh ?"
ou mean tT lettuce suggested
the clerk, land Is fresh"
Ihen you'd|better eat itio she
snapped, as she lalked on.
Inc grocer ruAed out and asked the
clerk what on efth had happened to
"ngEr her, ana tf young man replied: /:
grammar" ',
you have tined away one of nv
pesc customersA Only yesterday she
came IN ana ash me how l sold those
wnnIe sugar, alHl got all order for a
Whole Darrel' lang you, sir! but If
Gheln custome1Nwant grammar they
Hol' oxpecI tofd her in a groceryl
NO, SIT, anc II kou see she again you
want to apologR In the most humb}er-
est manner -
AN lrishmale eemarked to his COM
Panion, on oHrving n lady pass:
fat' did you 3r see so thin woman
as tllnt oefore y "rhin |" replied the
oCtSr, Bothe$hen [ seen a woman
as , INN as tWo her put together, 80
IN celHfYMassachusetts normal
sc,.ool INC YT"eucharist" was gi, en-
S"t tined' no' Non Non ne to t1e be- spelled and de-
gir-oeg paPn-young ladics-wroto
,eucnrelst-i person who plays Q,
a YOUNG ian went into florists
store the othhlay to buy rosebud for |
ms afhanced .Seyemty-five cents was |
the price askeA "Wfll it keep" in
10 ,o@|g ;| wh'le'' Srhen you ; may Ike, Keep p
-, AN Al English y was bcatlnga donkey
%n the minister of the
Parish, coming censured him for
ms cruelty; Tb lad resentfully re-
torted: I'm 81 you need not care;
'"'S mona o' N'-"Rgregation."
A WIDOW refuse@A
Is not ready to be nSsSppisil bore; she
madame, I am ytSY yet, she says.
wait" ooh, we'll yGeryant, can
you did. At what reseQk as though
4nt, pray?"
A sELECTMAN of a SUBJ
while experimenting someSn town
improvements of highwayNrs and
spot near small stream ofNcated
ga good place to put down csr as
~ w."
IT is now said by scientific autlh
that sleep commences in the feet Y
extends to the head. Possibly the cYy,
tom Of sitting with the feet toward tf>
pulpit may have something to do wit
it,"
AT a recent performance In the Ney
Haven Opera House, as a number Q
students left their seats between tn
acts, a good lady was heard to observe
"Aln't 1t too bad those fellows have
On homa and nn RI otu6 nj ~ 233