Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1879-05-27
Debating an Item.

DlctatlnS an Item.
The following little story teaches eau
ton in the use of pronouns:
Mr.. Tucker came into the editorial
room of local paper, and, sliding up to
the reporters table, he took seat and
nudged up close and said:
'sJust take it down now, and I'll give
YOU good item. Ready?n
Eyes. Go ahead !"
"Well, this morning, Mrs. Tucker
my wife, you know-and her daughter
Bessie, were driving out with the bay
mare, named Kitty, along the river road
to see her aunt"
"Whose aunt?"
"Mrs. fuckers aunt. To see her aunt
Bessie was driving the mare, and lit
tie after they had passed Stapletewn
Place she threw one Of her Shoes"
"Bessie did ?"
mo, Kitty, the mare And Bessie
said to her mother that she thought she
was behaving queerly."
Mrs. Tdcker was ?"
1.-THE mare; and she felt so worried
that she had half a notion to turn
back"
"Are you speaking of the mare or OF
Bessie?n
~ mean Bessie, of course. But she
kept on limping and going kinder I'M
even until they were down by the gas
works and she laid back her ears and
"You don't mean Bessie's ears?"
Certainly not"
"Go on, then. Mrs. Tucker laid back
her ears"
"The mares ears. And just as they got
On the bridge over the creek the mare
gave tiltto one side, and Mrs. Tucker
screamed, she let drive with both of her
hind legs against the carriage"
"Are you referring to Mrs. Tucker OF
to the"
"Kitty, the mare-and snapped both
shafts off short. The next moment, be-
fore Mrs. Tucker or Bessie could save
themselves, she went over the side, turn
ing complete somersault."
"You are now speaking of the mare?"
Eyes, the mare turned a complete
somersault into the water. One of the
traces remained unbroken, and, of course,
az Kitty went over, she dragged the car
riage after her, and Mrs. Tucker and
Bessie went foundering into the creek.
The marc at once struck out for the
shore, and Bessie fortunately had pre-
sence of mind enough to grasp her by
the tail. She had the blind staggers
but it had passed Off"
mot Bessie"
s'No-the mare; and as soon as she
was being towed past Mrs. Tucker, she
caught hold of her dress"
1.-THE mares dress ?"
"Bessie's dress and it seemed for 9
minute the mare would bring them safe
ly to land. But Mrs. fuckers hold on
the mares tail loosened somehow, and
"You said Bessie had hold Of the
mares tall"
Ibid I? Well, so 1t was and Mrs.
Tucker hold of her dress"
"Whose dress?"
didn't say Bessie's dress? Well,
then, somehow, Mr.. fuckers hold loos-
ened and"
'Her hold of what? ?"
"Her hold of the mare, no, must be
mistaken Bessie had hold of the mares
tail, while the mare was swimming, and
the mare had hold of Mrs. fuckers dr.
that is, Mrs. Tucker had hold of-well,
anyhow, she let go"
Mrs. Tucker let go?'
"Oh, I dunno; whoever had hold of
the mare let go and she went to the bot
tom like a stone"
eff follow your meaning it was the
mare that went to the bottom"
My goodness, man! Can't you I'M
derstand? It wasn't the mare The
mare swan ashore"
"What did you say she went to the
bottom for, then ?'
IT didn't; it was Bessie"
"Bessie never said word about it,"
"You know what I meant. Bessie
went to the bottom"
"And Mrs. Tucker swan ashore?"
mo, she didn't"
every well, then Mrs. Tucker went
to the bottom, too"
mo, she didn't, either"
''Mrs. Tucker flew up in the air then"
''Now you think you're smart, don't
you? ?"
"Well, go on and finish your story
Bessie say when she got to the bottom ?''
1--WE good mine to wollup you"
"What did she say that for!"
"You mud headed idiot" said Mr..
Tucker, "give me any more of your in
science, and I'll fay you alive. I was
going to give you good item about that
mare, and what Mrs. Tucker said about
her turning somersaults all the way
home"
The reporter got behind the desk, lift
ed up chair to ward off a missile, and
then he said calmly:
'What was Mrs. Tucker's object in
turning somersaults all the way home ?"
This anecdote of President Lincoln
was recently told by Bishop Simpson of
the Methodist Episcopal Church:
II was informed one day that a COM