St. Landry democrat., 1879-06-07
REAL TROUBLE.
why the Burlington HI awkeyc IF unny Nam
Would Not he n Farmer


It is spring, and the annual warfare
begins. Early in the morning the joe
und farmer hies him to the field and
hunts around in the dead weeds and grass
for the plow he left out there some time
last fall When he finds it he takes il
to the shop to have it mended. When
it il mended be goes back into the field
with it. Half way down the first fur
row he lays, he runs the pIow fairly in.
to big live-oak root, the handles al.
ternately break rib on this side of him
and jab the breath out Of him on the
other, and the sturdy root, looking up
out OF the ground with a pleased smile
of recognition, says cheerfully: "Ah,
Mr.. Thistlepod, at it again, eh?"
Fifty feet further on he strikes q
stone that doubles up the rlow-point
like piece of lead, and while the amazed
and breathless agriculturist leans, limp
heap of humanity, across the plow, the
relic of the glacial period remarks sleep
lily: "Ah. hal Spring here already ?
Glad you woke me up"
And then the granger sits down and
patiently tries to tie On that pillow. point
with hickory withe, and, while he pur-
sues this fruitless task, the friendly crow
swoops down near enough to ask ::
"Goin' to put this twenty in corn this
year, Mr.. Thistlepod?"
And, before he has time to answer the
sable bird, tiny grasshopper, wriggling
out of clod so full of eggs that they
can't be counted, shouts briskly: "Here
we are again, Mr.. Thistlepod; dinner
for 1000, ,0OO,0oO"
And then slow moving but very pos
tive potato. bug crawls out into the sum
light to see if the frost has faded his
tripes, and says: 1.-The old-fashioned
peachblow potatoes are the best for
sure crop, but the early rose should be
planted tor the first market"
Then several new kinds OF bugs who
haven't made any record yet, climb,over
the fence and come up to inquire about
the staple crops of the neighborhood,
and before he can get through with
them, Professor Tice sends him a circu-
lar stating that there won't be drop of
rain from the middle of May till the
last of October. This almost stuns him,
but he is beginning to feel little re-
signed when dispatch is received from
the department of agriculture at Wash
ington, saying that all Indications point
to a summer of unprecedented, almost
incessant and Iong>continued rains an
foods, and advising him to plsnt no root
crops at all. While he is trying to find
words in which to express his emotion,
neighbor drops in to tell him that all
the peach>trees in the country are win.
ter killed, and that the hog.cholera is
raging fercely in the northern part of
the township. Then his wife comes out
to tell him the dog has fallen into the
well, and when the poor man gets to the
door-yard, his children, with much
shouting and excitement, meet him, and
tell him there are couple ofrats, of the
pole denomination, in the spring. house,
and another one under the barn. With
tears and groans he returns to the field,
but by that time it has begun to snow
so hard that he can't see the horses when
he stands at the plow. He is disvour.
aged, and starts for his house with his
team, when he meets man who bounces
him for using three'horse clevis he
made himself, and wrung ten reluc~
liant dollars out of him for it. When he
reaches the house the drive we'll man is
waiting for him, and while he ia set
Ting with him clock-peddler comes in,
and lightning. rod man, screened by
the storm, climbs up on the ten-dollar
smoke-house. fastens sixty-fve dollars
worth of lightning>rods on it, and before
the poor farmer had time to get his gun
half loaded the bailiff comes in to tell
him that he has been drawn on the jury.
No, [ would not, even if could, be
farmer. The lite is pleasant and inde>
pendent, but it seems to have its draw
backs. IF l were a. farmer | would
grumble all I wanted, and thump the
man who found fault with me for it.