Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-17

ABOUT certain services being unbecoming an
officer and a gentleman Laughter. No!
You got up and got it. If he ordered his
pap-bottle, and it wasn't warm, did you talk
back? Not you! You went to work and
warmed it. You even descended 90 far in
your mental Office as to take suck at that
warm, insipid stuff yourself, to see if it was
right three parts water to one of milk, g
touch of sugar to modify the collie, and q
drop of peppermint to kill those immortal
hiccoughs. can taste it yet. Rosrs Of
laughter.
And how many things you learned, as you
went along. Sentimental young folk still
took stock in that beautiful old saying, that
when the baby smiles in his sleep it is be-
cause the angels are whispering to him. Very
pretty, but ''too thin.' Laughter:] Simply
baby proposed to take walk at his usual
hour-half-past two in the morning-didn It
you rise up promptly and remark, with a
mental addition which wouldn't improve q
Sunday school book much, that that was the
self koars. Oh, you were under good
discipline! And, as you went futtering up
and down the room in your "undress uni
FORM" you not only prattled undignifed
baby-talk, but you tuned up your martial
voice and tried to sing, Crock ably, baby, in
the tree-top," for instance. What spec
of laughter And what an affiiction for the
neighbors, too; for it isn't everybody within
mile around that likes military music at 8
in the morning. And when you had been
keeping this sort of thing up two Or three
hours, and your little velvet head intimated
that nothing suited him like exercise and
noise-"go on''- what did you do?
YOU SIMPLY WENT ON
till you dropped in the last ditch. TGreat
laughter. The IDEA that a baby doesn't
amount to anything! Why one baby is just
house and front yard full by itself; one
baoy can furnish more business than you
and your whole interior department. can at.
tend to; he is enterprising, irrepressible,
brim full of lawless activities; do what you
please, you can't make him stay on the res
ervation. Prolonged laughter. Sufficient
unto the day is one baby. AS long as you
are in your right mind, don't you ever pray
for twins. Roars of laughter and bushes
by Gen. Sheridan. Twins amount to per-
manent riot, and there amt any real differ
ence between triplets and an ineurrection.
Laughter. Yes, it was high time for q
toastmastet to recognize the Importance of
the "Babies." Think what is in store for
THE PRESENT CROP.
Fifty years hence we shall all be dead-I
trust-and then this fag,if it still survives-
and let US hope it may-will be floating over
a republic numbering two hundred million
souls, according to the settled laws of our in
crease; our present schooner Of state will
have grown into a political leviathan-a
Great Eastern-and the Graded babies of to-
day will be on deck. Let them be we'll
trained, for we are going to leave big con-
tract on their hands. [Applause.] Among
the three or four million of cradles now
rocking in the land, are some which this ma
ton would preserve for ages as
sacred things if we could know which
ones they are. In one of these cradles
the unconscious Fsrragut of the future is
at this moment teething-think of it!-and
putting in world of dead-earnest, inarticu-
lated, but perfectly justiiable profanity over
it it, too, [laughter]; in another, the future
renowned astronomer is blinking at the
shining milky way with but a languid inter
est, poor little chap, and wondering what
has become of that other one they call the
wet-nurse laughterl; In another the future
great historian is lying-and doubtless he
will continue to ''lie'' till his earthly mission
is ended [laughter]; in: another the future
President is busying himself with no pro.
founder problem of state than what the mis-
chief has become of his hair so early, and
in
MIGHTY ARRAY OF OTHER CRADLES
there are now some sixty thousand future
ofiice-seekers getting ready to furnish him
occasion to grapple with that same old prob
lem a second time; and in still one more
cradle, somewhere under the flag, the future
illustrious COMMANDMENT chief of the Amer
lean armies is SO little burdened with his ap-
preaching grandeurs and responsibilities as
to be giving his whole strategic mind at this
moment to trying to find out some way to
get bis own big toe into his mouth-[laugh-
ter Ian achievement withdrawing no
disrespecE illustrious guest Of this even
ing also turned has attention to some fifty
six years ago. And if the child is but the
prophecy of the man, there are mighty few
who will doubt but that he succeeded. Pro-
longed and uproarious laughter.