The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1879-07-11
The I" Dark Horse" Of 1850.

Now You may know who the "dark
horse'' is in the coming political cam
paign. He entered Grand River
Avenue saloon yesterday, when the day
was hottest, and removing his coat, hat
and collar he confidentially asked for
private word with the proprietor.
"Nopody ish here-you can shpoke
awaS," was the reply, as the beer seller
lazily rinsed glass.
"Are you aware" whispered the
stranger, as he put his nose almost into
the cther's face, that this country Is on
the eve of another s.upendous political
struggle?" ,,
"Do you mean about dis hot vedder?"
"No. sir! I mean that we are soon
to elect another Presidents, and that the
campaign will be the hottest ever known
in the political history of this world:
and you may draw the q glass OF bser;
"Fhell, l doau' know much OF boil
ticks" said the other, and making no
move to fill the glass.
"That's it-that's the keynote! !"
chuckled the old man, as he slapped him
on the back. "Tbe kind of men to go
into the next Cabinet are mei who
have never been mixed up in politics;
I'm mighty glad came in here, and
YOU may draw me q glass of beer"
care you some boliticiansF"' quietly
asked the saloonist after q pause, and
paying no attention to the request for
beer.
"Ah! Lower your voice littlel Yes,
I'm in politics. I'm the wicked wire
puller in the world. I'm the greatest
convention packer on land or sea.
get in more work at the polls than any
20 men you ever saw, and you may
give me glass of beer"
"Who shall be der next PRESIDENT?
carelessly inquired the other, as he sat
down on the head of a beer keg.
The stranger tip toed to the door,
closed and locked it, and returning to
bis former position whispered:
stake . good square look at me
You now behold the next President Of
the United States of America, and yor
may draw me a glass of beer"
"You doan' look like some Brest
DENTS" observed the saloonist, as HI
gave the old man looking over:
: "Sh! Don't give me away! fot
/: see I'm from the masses. I'm the dari
| horse cantering along in the under
!. brush. The people demand a repre-
sentative of toll. That's me. The.
! want honesty and integrity. That's HI
q again. They want q man who knows
. haystack from stone quarry-who cal
r ecOnomiZe-who can't be corrupted
t who has pride enough for the position
. and vet not ashamed to ride to a tuner
!, al in one horse wagon-al of whicl
is me several times over, and you ma.
o draw me glass of beer"
e "Vhat barty shall vote for you?
n asked the beer man after a minute
g deep thought.
g "Ah! Eureka! Excelsior! Selah
That's the keynote again! When tn
e hour is ripe l step between the tw
: great parties, mash both and form
8 third party on the ruins, and you ma
d draw me glass of beer"
8 "Well, l shan't carry some torch
+ light professions on der street"
s "Of course you won't. You kee
n behind the currant bushes, say nothing
s and when the time arrives you will b
!, offered the position of Secretary G
d War, and you may draw me glass
: beer"
e "My peer ish all gone"
p "Very well. Then my appointment
are all gone; your name will not b
: selected for the next Secretary of War!
, The old man began putting on hi
things in a very decided way, and whe
d ready to go out turned and said:
S 81 am naturally kind hearted an
S forgiving, AID I'll give you one NOR
y chance. No beer, no Cabinet positio
under the reign of the dark horse
e 1880"
a The saloonist shook his head.
"That settles it! A year hence 20
o might offer me dozen glasses of beer
" and would not even appoint you Pos1
a master General! Goodbye"
a After the old man had been gone
: minute or so, the saloonist ran to tn
:. door and called to him and waved hi
1t hand, but the tide of fortune had pass
Il ed. The dark horse shook his head i
r determined manner, and called back
"You've hunted up some beer with
3 fly in it, but it is too late-too late!"-
D. Detroit Free Press.