The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1879-01-09
From the Louisville Courier-Journal I
The Client Fiend.
Why Legal Men Charge Heavy Fees and
Grow Gray Before their Prime.

You are lawyer aud he is a countrymsn Of
peculiarly self-important and knowing look,
Your shingle has not been up long, so you have
not met him. He Games ints your office at the
busiest hour and with a con6escending nod
plants himself in chair. He deliberately sur
veys yourself, your books, your fixtures, etc. :,
after which, and after period Of contempla-
tive silence, he vouchsafes:
"Be you lawyer?" You reply that you be.
"What mout be your name?" He looks you
over critically and mentally takes your meas
ure. "D'yo reckon yon'n tell what want-er
know?" You answer that it is possible that
you can, IL it is anything in your line; "well,
reckon you'll do about as well as any," Then
he squares himself, crosses his legs, rests there
upon his elbow, and, punctuating his words on
the palm of bis hand, with his forefnrer'
states the case:
"Sposn thar wuz a feller as rented ten acres
O. lam, an sposn thar wuz feller as owned
bay mar an colt, an the contrac' was one third,
an Jim Long, he vailed the colt at three sheep,
an says as how 1 didn't onnerstan' no con-
trac' no sech away, an I'd lose ten sheep fast
ruther'n have the wool pulled over my eyes by
any Long, or Short either. An the other Teller,
as wus Buck Wilson, he comes in an rays as
how he pever understood no contrac' to be In
cotton. but corn, an as how he had lean ON
the mar an colt, and he'd bs damned If he
didn't sell out mar, colt, sheep, crap an all ef
'twarn't corn insted O. cotton, an 1 said I'd be
damh't he did, an 1 intended to have my
rights, wich wus cotton and the colt, ef il tux
all the law in the United States to get 'em. An
then Jim Long, he proposes as how we make
1t $500 an split the difference, an Buck VIII
SOD, he agrees all right per-vi-ded IFS So am
the mar and corn; an says, No, sir, ef you
please--it's the colt an cotton, an' nary So
nuther-an' Ill be thar when it's anyl hing but
them, WILL And then Losg, says'e, We'll
ha to go back to the riginal CONTRACT says'e,
'an' put the colt at three sheep an Wilson
says as how he II sell the colt under his lean
fust; and says, says l, NO, sir, the colt shant
go at three sheep, and 1t shan't go under no
lean, but 1t folers the mar, an that's the law,
case heerd Jedge Martin say so, out'n his
own mouf, three year ago las November. in
the case whar Sandy Jarrett beat old Tomphs
Bivins, an I'll take my oath O. that, william
long comes Ann Magruder.''
"But," you may interrupt him, Ell don't
quite catch your point. Were the mare and
the colt"
Eyes, sir! the mar an the colt-jsst that a
way-an' l heerd Judge Martin say so ourn
his own mouf-yes, sir, that's the law. told
'em so an tell you So An along comes Aun
Magruder, she was old Billy Hunts darter an
married Joe Maeruder-you keow Joe, 1 reck-
on, deputy sheriff oncet, an nephew of old
Micsjah Magruder, who lived in the seven
teenth deestrict, an q brother of ALI Magruder,
the same one as married Rose Anderson an
moved to Texas In ", an reckon as Joe was
as clever man as ever pulled fodder, an they
n Ann nxuo otrtf rnn ~ bah hast - ox.t
some Nv 'em says ss how her an that Rance
Horn drove Joe out West, an now he's 0
member of the legisatur' out In Newbrasky,
lesstways Tommy Banks. who come from out
thar las spring, says SO: an says. Ann
no hard words wi you, but bought this "ere
pillow an paid for it, an you an Jim Long an
Buck Wilson can't prove 1 didn't, an this ERE
plow and them ere sheep amt get NO con-
nection together in the 'reginsl contrac', but
las dollar I've got, will Yes, sir, them's jes
the fac's, and can prove by my wife-an' she
never hit Anna the first lick neither-'three
sons an five darters AN two niggers-Hank
Peters an Nervy Ballentine-thst Ann Ma.
gruder tol Buck Wilson hissef that the plough
was as good as the colt any day,-yes. sir, said
them very words, on Sunday mornin' last
ITINERARY, standin' at my wood-pile, jes'
befo' dinner time, an I'd like to know what
right under the contrac Tony Morris had, any.
feathers. an how Hamp Pruits" p
If you have good stock of long suffering
you will stop him and start him st the begin
ming again, and each time the case will grow
longer and darker, developing new parties and
| new points of contention. IL 700 are wiss,
howeyer, yoa will halt him, tell him that you
understand the situation perfectly and that the
case is such an exceedingly difficnls and COM
plex one that you Will require q weeks time
to read through the Pandects and the cune-
form inscriptions before you can venture an
opinion. But your first course Is to inform
him that you have been employed on the 9TH
er side. He will not return then for your ad-
vice