davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-12
Odds and Ends.

Alexander II. Stephens was so poo
when he commenced the. practice of la,
that he had to live on S. per month. Thi
is said to be the secret of his assistance t,
poor young men, over fifty of whom h
has assisted to liberal education.
In the penitentiary at Anamosa, Iowa
there are among the convicts four 2aptists
twelve LGtherans, eighteen Catholics, foul
Presbyterians, thirty Mcthodists, three
Congregationalists, one United Brethren,
one Universalist, four Christians, one Evan
gelist. one Episcopalian, twenty, no relig-
ion.-Omaha Bee.
Mr.. Gladstone says that he has long since
learned that no scheme of religion supplies
safe or invariable measure of RELIGIOUS
character and conduct, and he adds: al
do not mean that belief and conduct are
disconnected, but take personal belief to
be only one among variety of influences
which govern litc."
1t was very honest old Dutch Judge in
Schoharie county, New York, who listen
ed for several hours to the arguments of
counsel and then said: '.Dis case has peen
ferry ably argued on both sides, and dere
have peen some ferry nice points of law
brought up. | shall dake dree days to
consider der points, but shall eventually
decide for de blaintift."
A Leadyille man dreamed an angel came
to him and said: ''Follow me; I'll con-
duct thee to heayen.'s He followed and
was ushered into world of bright and
beautiful beings; but as he saw no gambling
houses wherein he could lose a few dollars
he supposed the angel had led him into the
wrong place, and his disappointment was
so great that he awoke.
That Mr.. kiddlc believes the spirit of
Prince Albert has come in '.in a bl. ok
dress suit to chant sweetly Incompetent
sible hymns to him may be Mr., Riddles
own :,tlair. But is man fit to superintend
the teaching of history in public schools
who believes that Prince Albert talked to
him about "the Kings Of Normandy or
that Prince Albert spoke to him of Victo- !
s'a as enlightened Queen?'' ?''-New York
World.
The Lowell Courier says: "It is noted, !
and there is significance in the fact. that
Purcell's financial irregulari-
ties are treated far more tenderly than they !
would have been if Archbishop had been
Henry Ward Beecher, or Bishop Gilbert |
Haven, for instance" and the Boston Her.
lla retorts: ''Well, there is one of the all |
9antages of having record as good and
truthful man. Let the Courier profit by |
his lessOn.''
A London physician says that tight la
ing produces corns on the heart and rut
n the liver. When you hear wasp-waist-
ID maiden cXclaim, .'Oh, l can scarcely
)rcathe!" you may know she has corns on
he heart. A tight squeeze produced by a
'oung mans arm causes nothing more Sc
ious than palpitation Of the heart, which
an be effectually cured by dose of matri-
nony. The London physician doesn't say
o, but experience does.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-12
A Good Adviser.

Those who understand the value of a
woman's advice have learned a valuable
lesson. 1t is wondrous advantage to a
man in any pursuit or vocation to secure
an adviser in sensible woman, for in
woman there is at once a subtle delicacy
of tact, and a plain soundness Ofjudgment
which are not combined in an equal de-
gree in man; her intuitions often excel his
reasoning. A woman, If she is really
your friend, will have due regard tor
your character, honor and repute, and will
seldom counsel you to do a shabby thing,
for she will desire to be proud of you,
while at the same time her constitutional
timidity will make her more cautions than
those Of your own sex, so that she will
very rarely advise'you to do an imprudent
thing, or anything which you may live to
regret. Therefore mans best friend is a
wife Of good sense and kindly heart.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-12

And where were you just now, Mabel?
Where have you been so long?
The moon is up and all the birds
Have sang their evening song;
saw you lettering down the path,
So lonely and.so late,
Beyond the well and lilac bush,
And hanging by the gate.
love to hear the birds, mother,
And see the rising moon;
And oh! the summer air is sweet
Beneath the sky of June.
My COW is MIXED, my hens are cooped.
And washed are cup and plate,
Ard SO | wandered out awhile,
10 hang upon the gate.
The gate is by the road, Mabel,
And idle folks 90 by,
Nor should maiden brook the glance
Ofevery stranger eye.
Besides. thought saw a cap
I'm sure you had Il mate;
So tell me who was with you, child,
Just hanging at the gate.
Now you know just as well, mother,
Twas only Harry Gray.
He spoke such words to me tonight
know not what to say;
And. mother, oh. for your dear sake,
only bade him wait;
And mayn't run and tell him now?
Hes hanging at the gate.
-Earper's Magazine for J,tnc.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-12
ALL IN NY EYE.
An Excrutiatingly Funny Incident
From the Chicago Tribune.


Down in Caroline county. Md. the other
day, us the Rev. Mr.. Walton, of Shepherds
Chapel, was engaged in fervent prayer, a
hilarious wOrShiper named Marvel took a
quid of tobacco in his hand, and, watching
for favorable opportunity when the cler-
gyman's head was thrown back in earnest
devotion, let fly the moist weed, which
struck fair in the tace of the hrman mark.
The prayer suddenly stopped and scene
ensued, and Marvel was taken before res
ident magistrate and fined S. costs. This
reminds one that prominent southern
preacher has said that the only time he
ever felt like laughing in the pulpit was
when lie saw man in the gallery drop a
quid of tobacco in the face of sleeping
man in pew on the ground floor of the
church.
YES" said venerable Briton, Cockney
of the Cockneyest, to the writer. who had
shown him the item shove, lit is getting
well on to fifty years since saw some
thing like that, and quite as funny, in a
London tleater. The play was Richard
and the Richard was Edmund kean. The
theater was packed, and every one in it
was under the spell Of the actors magic.
The play was almost over-in fact they had
come to the tent scene in the fifth act,
where Richard bids Ratcliff leave him, and
everybody is preparing for the rising of
the ghosts. Well, in the front row of the
gallery could see one admirer of the
drama, fairly wrought up by the players
passion and expectation, clenching the
front of the gallery with his hands, and
leaning away out over it, staring down.
ward. with his eyes protruding and his
mouth opening. Right beneath him, in
the pit, was another admirer of the drama
and the actor, as intensely wrought upon
by the mimic scene, who, with has mouth
and eyes wide open, was staring upward
as intently. And just at this instant, from
the unheeding jaws of the man in the gal
lery fell tremendous qaid. l traced its
flight through the air, sn9-kerslap -
down it comes fiat in the eye OF the man in
the pit. lie in the gallery started back,
awakened from his trance, and his victim,
from his, jumped up, and, turn
ing to the gallery, yelled, IN give Is to
my one who will show me the son of a
sea-cook that dropped his tobacco-quid in
to my eye" This incident and exclama-
tioD. as you may naturally imagine, COM
ing right in the middle of the extreme ten ,
sion to which the audience had been
mp, had tremendous effect, and s
every one in the house fairly shrieked and s
doubled mp with laughter-even the actors s
IN the stage could not control themselves d
and the curtain had to come down. Fin (
lily. when every ones sides were sore, n
md the audience too exhausted to laugh e
my more. it was run up again and the play Il
proceeded perilously. but decorously till r
Richard, Catesby, Ratclif, and others b
amc on. Then there was gurgling gig c
lie heard in one or two quarters, choked h
fl by desperate effort, till the precise h
assage was reached at which, a little while! a
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-12
s. 6cntilne ents ON Presideney.''

If there is anything more absurd than
another it is the publication of the ''senti-
ments'; of different States on Presidential
candidates, drawn from conversations be-
tween reporters and few individuals sup
posed to be exponents Of public opinion.
The nominating conventions are not to he
held for a year, and while it is likely that
4 few restless politicians have turned over
the subject in their minds, the masses Of
the people have not spoken and have had
no opportunity of indicating what they
think of the different candidates. The
men who furnish the opinions which are
put forth at this early day as the judgment
of whole States would look ridiculous if
their names could be known. OF course,
their views of what 1.-THE people, are
are colored IL their own wishes.
Hartford Ercning Post.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-12
A Blunder and Its Reward,



During his first visit to Paris NJ. Las
sale, distinguished German, presented
himself at the house Of well known lady
to whom he had sent letters of introduc-
tion in advance. When the servant opened
the door, she received the card, conduct
ed him to the boudoir'"and told him to be
seated, saying: Madame will come i'm
mediately."
Presently the lady entered. She was in
dishabille and her feet were bare, covered
only with loose slippers. She bowed to
him carelessly and said: ''Ah, there you
are; good morning.
She threw herself on sofa, let fall q
slipper and reached out to Lassale her
very pretty foot.
Lassalle was naturally completely as
founded, but he remembered that at his
home in Germany it was customary some
times to kiss lady's hand and he supposed
it was the Paris mode to kiss her foot.
Theaefore he did not hesitate to imprint
Kiss upon the fascinating toot so near him,
but he could not avoid Saying Il thank
you, Madame, for this new method of max
ing lady's acquaintance. 1t is much bet
ter and certainly more generous than kiss
ing the hand.'
The lady jumped up, highly indignant.
''Who are you, sir, and what do you
mean?''
He gave his name.
'1 OIL are not, tnen, corn dOctor?'
81 am Charmed to say, Madame, that
am not.''
'But you sent me the corr Ioctor's
card.''
1t was true. Lasselle IN going cut that
morning had picked up the card of corn
doctor from his bureau and put it in his
pocket. This without glancing at he had
given to the servant, who had taken it to
her mistress. There was nothing to do
but laugh over the joke.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-12

Arms have they, but they hug not
wind-mills. Gazette. Ears have
they, but they hear not-cOrnstalks.-
troit Free Press. Heads have they, but
they understand not-cabbage.-OA CITY
Derrick. Eyes have they, but they SEQ not
potatoes. - Boston Transcript. Teeth
have they, but they do not have the tooth
saws.-N. y. Commercial Id
vertiser. Feet have they, but they kiclx
w y. Mail. Cheek
have they. and they forbear not-show
agents. Herald. Mouths have they, but
they speak not-rivers.- Lips
have they, but they kiss not-tulips.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-12
Going A.FishiD4.

| The man who invented the fishhook wifi
some day have a monument. 1t will be
granite column five hundred feet high,
built by the boys alone. A boy might
possibly get along with marbles, tops,
stills, balls and kites. yet he would feel
that there was an aching void somewhere.
A kite does well enough as long as it will
outsail all other kites and the string does
not break, and a pair of stills are good
property until after the first fall; but for
real solid pleasure the fishhook can never
be beaten. A boy will always expect
more and get less from it than anything,
else invented, but he never gets too dis
couraged to try again.
The Smith boy was observed trying his
luck yesterday in pond on a vacant lot
on Alfred street. As far back rs last De-
cember his mother promised him half q
day out of school as soon as the fish began
to bite, and yesterday was the glorious
day. Where there's water there ought to-
be''fish, according to every boys reckon
ing, and this boy surrounded" that wee
little pond hole with its barrel of muddy
water with just as much enthusiasm as a
man weuld throw line into Lake St.
Clair. He had ham, sweet cake, potato,
fried beef and boiled egg for bait, and
when he had spit on the bait and cast in
his hook all the Seth Greens ever born
couldn't have convinced him that he would
ail of at least one..good big bite. For two
Ong hours he tished for sturgeon and
Dicker~l and pike, changing the bait now
mi then and never forgetting to spit OF
t, and as he hauled up for the last time he
would simply admit that it wasn't just tho
light sort Of day to 60 fishing. If he had
,ad little one TO carry home his triumph
would have been more complete, but his
yes were like diamnhds as he net two
,oys on the corner and called out:
''Say I've STAYED out of school whol6
lalf day and been a-fishing. didn't catch
ny fish, eos they were all on their nests,
'ut you ought to have seen the big frog
which tumbled of stone!''
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-12

There was newly-married couple on
the Great Republic when she stranded,
and when the tug-boats came alongside to
rescue passengers, the husband sprang on
the first one and went off to the land. and
stood there in safety looking at the ship
which still contained his bride, and softly
sang:
81 am waiting on the shore, love-
On the gray and pathless sand
For thy footsteps dimly cleaning,
For hy.shadow on the strand;
While in my sad, sad dreaming,
know it's but dreaming,
Thy kisses on my hand.
This drsaming-is 1t see6ing
From yonder shadow laud?''
But when she came on shore in the next
boat and peremptOrily ordered Eim to 60
back to the ship for their ''dufs," he said:
''Not much, Mary Ann!-not tor You and
all of your furbelows and frills and fIounces
and striped stockings and dimity!" And
he told her the naked truth, for she didn't
get her clothes, ard there is divorce suit
pending.-Atbany Democrat.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-12
A Boys Version of 1t.

Boys compositions are often fearfnIIy
and wonderfully put together. Here's one
about George Washington that puts the
"ather of his country on a stronger
nlo," .'a.,a, basis than any that has yet ap-
ps",eo ns"',. .arves the.still further purpose
ol showing ti'a' here there is real ir-
repressible genius. grea..n 80 sa.".A. . .e".,
precede.the knack OF speling- 'oo ""'
George Washington was a little boy
that onct lived in Virginny what had max
give him by his old man. When george
he got the max he cutted tree what had
cherreys up on it and eat the cherreys he
and mother boy. Wen georges old man
foun out what george and the mother boy
had done. he called george to him and he
ses, george Washington. who cut the bark
ofen the cherry tree? George ses did and
i cannot tell a Ii. Why cant you tell IL
ses the old mar. Cos ses george il tell q
II this here felrl blow on ME and then i'n
be spanct twict. That's rite ses the old
man. whenever yer sit into truble the esy-
est way out is the best"
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-12
4 Boys Work.-Useful Sort Of Youna.
ster to Have Abaut the Hous~.

hungry tramp entered house near
Missouri Valley Thursday afternoon. and
seeing no one about the house but . little
girl he peremptorially ordered her to get
him some dinner, and added: 'Let it bs q
good one" The little girl was, Of course,
terribly frightended, but this only appear
ed to amuse the tramp, who became eacll
moment more demonstrative, and was just
about to seize the frightened child when
her brother, mere lad. entered the room.
The tramp turned upon the boy and Or
dered him to get up a good dinner in A.
short space of time as possible, and en-
deavored to enforce his commands BY the
most dire threats. But the boy did not
scare to any great extent. and instead Of
furnishing the food ordered the tramp to
leave the house at once, and his order not
being complied with he went to cleset,
and bringing out a double-barreled shet-
gun, he pointed it at the tramp and Or
dered him togo, but as the tramp did nos
seem disposed to start, he pulled the trig-
ger, and good..charge of shot was lodged
in that tramp's legs. This was more than
the gentleman had calculated on, and
jumping out OF the door he struck across
the country at a fearful rate, but did not
succeed in getting far until the contents Of
the other barrel were in various parts Of
his body. The boy coolly re-entered the
house, remarking' as he put up the gun
that he did not think that tramp would
trouble them again.-Siour City Journal.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-06-12
At the

Office. Courier Building, Main Street.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-07-07

SAS FRANCISCO, July 5.-A dispatch
from Lathrop, about forty miles east Of
this city, across the bay, says large bal.
loon, in a collapsed and wrecked condi.
ton, caught in the telegraph wires near
that village about p. N. The basket and
ropes were wet, as though they had been
dragged through the water. Blood marks
were on one Of the ropes, and kid glove
and velvet bow were found in the basket.
About $3.50 this afternoon Prof. S. W. Col
grove, accompanied by Miss Emma ALI
son, OF the New York Graphic, made a
balloon ascension from Woodward Gar.
dens, this city. When last seen the bal.
loon was taking an easterly course, and it
is feared the aeronauts have met with a
fatal disaster.
LATRR.-About midnight Prof. Colgrove
returned to the city and reported that the
balloon came down in the bay OH account
OF rent in the bag, dragged through the
water over two miles in about the same
number OF minutes, struck pile OF the
old wharf on the opposite side OF the bay,
threw out both occupants, who were some
what cut and bruised, but not seriously
injured; and, freed from its burden, the
balloon rose again and sailed off east ward,
coming down as previously reported.
Colgrove and Miss Allison struck in a
marsh, through which they waded, and,
gaining firm ground, made their way to
AlAmada, thence to the city,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-07-07

Perhaps no one medicine is so uniyer.
sally required by everybody as good ca.
thartic. SwAYNE's TAR AND SARsAPAR.
lila Pills arc prepared expressly to meet
this necessity, being composed Of purely
vegetable Ingredients, OF which Podophyi.
lin or Mandrake, Pine Tree Tar, Sarsa.
parilla, Yellow Dock and other concen.
trated juices enter largely into their com.
position; the whole strength Of which is
extracted on an entirely new principle.
They are mild in their operation, produce
no gripping, and arc truly valuable pur.
gatiye, aperient, anti-bilious and cathartic
medicine. They stimulate the liver to
healthy action, cleanse the stomach and
bowels OF all impurities. Curing sick
and nervous headache, dyspepsia
or indigestion, bilious, or intermittent, re.
mittent and congestive fevers, languor,
drowsiness, aching pains in the back, head,
slight chills, with bushes Of heat, female
irregularities, and for bilious and cos.
tive habit, no medicine is so prompt and
electual as DR.. SwAYSE's Tan AND SARsA.
PARlLLA Pulls. II your druggist or store.
keeper has not got them, or will not pro.
cure them for you, We will forward them
by mail on receipt Of price, lin currency
or three cent postage stamps), 25 cents
box, or veboxes for 81. Address letters,
DR.. Swayne & Son, No. $50 North Sixth
Street, Philadelphia. rrstw
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-07-07

sT. LOUIS, July 5.-The festivities Of the
Fourth failed to bring that crowd to town
which had been anticipated. The fact is,
instead OF relying as big city should
upon large variety Of attractions to in.
duce the country cousin to arrive by
the car load, the business men centred
all their energies upon a sham battle,
which was advertised far and wide, and
with such lavish display Of bellicose ad.
jectives that the impression was unavoida-
BILE that the mimic scene OF war would
hardly fall short ofthe sulphurous terrors
of Gravelotte and Sedan. The armies
which were to fight for the battle field,
both, by the by, commanded by the same
General, had a combined muster roll ION
the bill posters) OF 1900 men, and 80, 600
cartridges were to be- distributed among
them with which to awaken patriotic Ell
forts on tho raCe-track field Of glory. I'm
fortunately the promise OF the poster was
not redeemed by the reality OF the parade,
as by actual count barely four hundred
men engaged in the battle, so that the OPP
posing battalions were hardly capable OF
successfully mimicking the "horrors Of
the battles magni6Cently stern array" In
brief the sham battle was shameful tiEzle,
and It will be a long time before anything
OF the kind is again attempted in this city.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-07-07

CINCINNATI, July 5.-Archbishop Pur-
cell, accompanied by his private secretary,
DR.. Callaglian, have returned to Cincin-
natl from their Eastern trip, whore they
had been to further the movement looking
to the assistance OF the Most Reverend
Archbishop. His trip appears TO have in.
Sigorated him considerably, and his mind
is co -respondingly bright. He Is well sat
islled over the result OF his journeyings
among his many friends in the East, and
expresses himse!.f as being very hopeful OF
the future. Up TO lie present time the
money returns have not been large, but
the effort In that direction has not yet lair
~ begun. Archbishop Alemay, of San
Francisco, who, by the way, was formerly
q priest OF this diocese, will soon take up
collections on three consecutive Sundays
aud other Archbishops will do the same,
In addition to this, individual subscrip
tons will be taken up among the wealthy
Catholics and others who have expressed
desire to lend their aid to His Grace in
his present financial troubles. In Septem
Der Cardinal McCloskey will Issue pas
toral letter to all his clergy, instruclinI
them to take up collections to be 1ppliee
to the Archbishop aid fund.- The aggre
gate Of these general collections will uu
doubleday be very large.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-07-07
.coushlnr spell. ID lle lIorninr..

dry, parched, sore throat, losing flesh
bronchial and asthmatlC attacks, pneu.
monia, weakened and debiliated state d
the system, oil these dangerous symptoms
are cured By "Dr. swayne's COMPOUND
Syrup Of Wild Cherry The fitst dose
gives relief, and the worst cough and sore
lungs yield 10 It's healing prophecies
physicians recommend II"
~ have made use Of this preparation fol
many years, and II has proved to be very
reliable and etIlcaclons in the treatment Of
severe and long.standing coughs. know
OF two patients, nowin comfortable health,
and who but for It's use | consider would
not now be llving.-Isaac s, Herbien, NJ.
D., Straustown, Berks county, Pa"
Price Trial bottles, % cents; large size,
which Is the most economical, 81 90, or six
for s. 90. A single 25.cent bottle will oft.
entimes cure q recent cough or cold, and
thus prevent much suffering and risk OF
life. prepared only by DR.. swaYne 4 Son,
Philadelphia. Sold By leading druggists.
NfwRkw