The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1879-04-18
BITS oTYUx.

What was it the alienatc
A novel thing-A readable romance
There are no stamps in last years
vests
/ A marble haul--stealing tomb
stone. E
| A good place to get husband-By
the ear.
The small boy is never proud Of his
torn clothes.
Never embrace an opportunity to
hug a delusion.
People who 60 to the theatre to laugh
are farce-sighted.
Song of the cheese" viii ysu love
me when I'm rnoldP a
When a sailor shortens sail he is
your true reefformer.
Take good care Of your minutes; ours
will take care of themselves.
Scientific discovery Draw q tooth
and you will get high scream.
Whales blubber; and, by parity of
reasoning, why not goldfish ball.
Seed Anything of the fvller who
profsied ad OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.
And now we want to know at what
college our thermometers are graduated.
If lady knits a black scarf for her
young man, wouldn't it be crowshadel
You have of course seen many beer
basement, but did you ever see dram
attici
Your professional pedestrian may be
said to be man who profits by his ex-
tremities.
Indianapolis is TO have ladies' brass
band. The fair sex ever viii be put
ting on airs.
Il death loves shining mark, why
isn't the morality greater among the
boot-bIacks 7
A Maine minister Is lectu-ing on
Watches" He is consistently on
time every time.
When a man who cannot write is
asked TO sign his name, it generally
makes him y.
An Idaho town, having but one girl,
is called Onegirlia. How far Is this
from Boise Cityl
a classical man of Venice, Illinois,
has christened his cat "OtheIlo, the
newer Of Venice"
Garlic is said to have been sover-
eign remedy for gout. But there is no
remedy for garlic.
Market quotations do not affect the
price of liberty, which always remains
at eternal vigilance
A stationary engine is II common
sight, but did you ever see rolling
mill or walking beaml
' Too much shirt collar and toe little
young man, is the girls verdict on the
average beau of the period.
You should be careful how you walk
over the wheel-ruts on country road.
Cartridges sometimes explode.
The man who is waiting for some
thing to turn up generally finds it
.shen he steps on a barrel-hoop-
On leaving room make your best
.salaam to those persons present, and
then retire without salaaming the door.
Talking of abrOgating the fishery
treaty suggests to US whether or not
the lobster claws might not be cut out.
A new kind of ulster has been in
vented with snow sheds all around the
collar and box tunsel down the back.
A clergyman in Albany suggests that
the wages of sin be cut down and the
salaries of ministers raised q peg or
two.
Stripes are SO big on the new style
of pantaloons that it takes two
pair of trowsers to accommodate the
stripes.
Sharp old lady "Yes, miss, very
kind of your ma, but cookery book is
no good to them who amt got nothing
to cook"
An exchange has found out when
Adam was married; OF course il was on
his wedding Eve; most everybody knew
it before.
Why is boat rowed by young
woman like candy scrape2 Because
it is 'lasses pull. This is inserted
syruptitiously.
The man who wrote that nothing
was impossible never tried to find the
pocket to his wife's dress when it was
hanging up in clothes-press.
4 "a Thompson says you may talk of
your water cures, your movement
cures, and your blue-glass cures, but
there is nothing like the sinecure, after
ALL