The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-08-13
Facts and fancies.

festoon.
The French women who went over to
attend the Imperial funeral at Chiselhu1st
were dressed IN mourning, some wearing
short costumes OF black cloth with fan
mel finish, and others suits of Grape cloth
Two men started out to see which
could tell the biggest lie. No. 1 COM
menced: "a wealthy country editor
No. 3 stopped him right there and paid
the forfeit
A Buffalo church bell went through
three floors without injuring its ring any.
RING IN pun on that it you can.-~Det'o't
Free Press. All rignt; where shall we
clapper in.
''There are roomers in the air." re-
marked the landlord when his hotel
burned do n and for want of fire escapes
the guests were jumping out of the win
dow. Steuben ollie Herald.
Dry goods clerks often indulge in boat
races, but oarsmen never indulge in dry
goods stores. This only proves that both
dry goods clerks and scullers have more
brains than they are generally credited
with.
fes, intoxicated again! Do you know
the place where drunkards go to-" Shut
fes-"Course I do-(hic-the plash
where (hic-cansh get mosh tor
their monish-(hic)."
"Fish and mosquitoes" says the Albany
argus, "have begun biting at Saratoga
lake" What has Saratoga lake done
that It should be bitten at? Anyhow,
we had rather they would bite at the lake
than at us.
"That was heavy prayer the minister
made this morning. said the deacon, as
he came out Of the church last Sunday
eyes, returned the sinner who was ad-
dressed, "yes-too heavy to rise very
high.
''There is truth IN my REMARKS" yelled
out scolding wife to her suffering hus
band, and he NEE ly answered, "I'n grant
all the truth there is in your remarks, if
you will only put fever remarks into
your truth.
"A little nonsense now and then,
Is relshed by the best of men,"
But with surfeit of the stuff,
We cry, in agony, "enough"
And from the gods curse invoke.
On every second handed joke.
At our boarding house the fellows are
all in love with the landlady's daughter
and, since the old lady heard that ''ove
can level rank" she let's her daughter serv.
butter to the guests. Blu. it doesn work,
"That man is rich," said the conductor
"You know m then?' said colnpan-
ion. $40: but he groaned when he paid
his fare?" "Does every rich man groan
when he pays his fair?" "No, but every
one who does grean is rich"
With the advance of spring every man
who is careful Of his health will at least
turn his socks.-NcG'egorN eaos.
II do not want a jackass scalp in my
belt" says Commissioner of Agriculture
LIE Due. No, indeed, old fellow, it is far
better to carry it on the place where it
grows.-Buf"lo Eupress. @
When Richard J.. Bright was made
sergeant-at-arms of the United States
Senate, Dan Macauley, with genial
swelling of the heart, that his friend had
succeeded in getting so good berth,
rushed to the telegraph Office and sent
this:
II send you my congratulations for this happy
circumstance,
And so do my sisters and my cousins and my
aunts."
Mr.. Bright not being up in 1Pinafore,r,
was much troubled IN mind and brought
the dispatch to we'll known Indianian,
then in Washington, for Interpretation.
II know Dams wife," said Mr.. Bright, II
know his sister, but don't know these
other members of his family. "-Indsana-
polls Ncws ~rr
Cetewayo is drawing considerable of
the worlds attention at present. The
latest information we have about him is
that he is the husband Of 1900 wives.
The next I" i'll probably be that he has
Russianized his name into Getywayoff.-
LomsuMIe Courier-J0urnnl.
No quarter-A twenty cent piece.
A man overheard: Ourself, by spring
poets.-Balt,moae Eoe,,y Saturday. 4
T New Orleans Times saws: "Per.
SEPARATION is the cheapest luxury of the
PORE" ..' % ~
We have heard of man who keeps
temperance hotel on small scale. We
presume what he means is, that he buys
his gin by the quart.-7'urner s Falls Re-
porter. .@-
A thief is really profound philoso-
pher and always candid thinker; that
is, he looks at everything in an abstract
way and If you reason with him, he is
open and liable to conviction.
In May, when soft, warm breezes blow,
The masher, blithe and gay,
Blooms radiant in new spring suit,
His ulster fires away;
But when east winds blow cold and chill
His spirits get reduced.
he hastes to shoot the new spring suit
The ulster rules the roost-Boston Post.
A pickpocket taken with his hand in
some one elses pocket, endeavored to in
vent all manner of Impossible explana-
tions of the phenomenon. WHATS the
use of lying about it so clumsily2" sal d
the magistrate, benevolently; "haven't
you la ~yer?'
This is the time of the year when the
boy who has accidentally changed shirts
with a companion, while enjoying the
surreptitious swim, tells his mother,
when she discovers the swap, that the
other boys mother took ancy to his
shirt and borrowed it as pattern to
make some shirts for her little boy. No.
BILE, unselfsh little fellow!
IF love, an1 otfuc+;o, oo,,ll l..