Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-11-06
sips of Fun.

tOpie picn S2elf teeth, an
u yet they do not all get goo
e ones.
The watch lacks self-respect
!. it is always trying TO run itsell
down.
No use trying, you can
make persons voice clear by
, straining it.
"This world is but a feetins
} show and it is the same way
3 with a circus.
1t is strangely singular how
much the boy with a new pail
Of suspenders hates to wear .
coat.
i It is now scientific fact that
the only thing in the world re-
sembling a perpetual motion is
a woman's tongue.
If you have a desire to live a
long time in this world turn
yourself into a lightning-rod
agent. These animals never die
Il natural death.
'Tis an i'll wind that blows no.
body good, but the wind that
blows a chimney down on a
lightning-rod agent deserves a
crown OF emeralds and rubies.
A Jersey man tells us that
his wife was kicked in the jaw
by a mule. "Did it hurt her?"
"Bless you, no; but the mule
broke his leg, and had to be
shot"
There is a man who says he
has not slept for fifteen years,
and that he lies and thinks all
night. We can vouch for his
lying, If for no other part of this
story.
Doctors say that the tears a
man sheds when he takes a
mouthful of mustard by mistake
for a potato are as genuine as
the tears shed by a man because
his uncle is dead.
An old bachelor, upon read
ing "that two lovers will sit
up allnight, with only one chair
in the room," said that it could |
not be done unless one of them
sat on the floor. Such ignorance
is painful.
First boy-"NVhere yer bin,
BillY?' Second boy-"Bin fish
ilf." First boy-''Ketclr any
thin'?" with an anxious express
sion on his face. Far-seeing
second boy-"No. But | ex-
pect ter when | git in the house"
1t is said that there is only !
one wife in Stamford, Conn,
who honestly believes that her
husband thinks just as much of
her as on the day they were
married. He had TO marry her
Or go to Jail.
A Texas onion party is thus
described: One young lady
takes an onion into the room,
bites apiece out, then young
gentleman is admitted, aud il,
after kissing all of them, he fails
10 tell which bit the onion, they
ire all compelled to kiss him.
"EYhat shall / leave you when
| dep said an insipid young
fellow to a young lady whose
presence he had exhausted.
''Needn't wait until you die"
said she; "you can leave some
thing now, if you will" "What j
shall leave?" he asked. 'Leave
yourself" she replied. lie left.
A professor, examining a sta
lent on Bible history, asked
lim why Moses was buried in
such a secret place that the Is
raclites could not find him.
The youth replied that it was for
fear they would dig up his body
md stuff it. This youngster
was the son of a Snowman. Il
An abundance of guests and (
limited lodging rooms caused
Jimmie to be "slept out" at
neighbours. On arising in the
morning he was invited to re-
main at breakfast. "Well, /
guess not" he replied, "We
lave mighty good breakfasts at
our house when we have COM
pany."
A 79-year old maid who was
quite i'll in Johnstown told the
doctor she had never been hug
ged by a man in her life, and
asked for one kiss. The gallant
doctor complied with the re-
quest, Of course, and she got /
well. When the doctorgot home
and told the story to his wife he
got-wcll, and he is balder than
he was.
"IIow came these holes in
your elbows?" said the widow
Smith 10 the irrepressiI,lc small |
boy. "Oh, mother, | hid behind |