The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1879-11-22
WHIFS: WISE HND WHEY.

The first round-The earth.
The latest hog has the most winniu.
weigh.
The Boston Courier says it's sneezy
thing TO take snuff.
The question at Leadville is not how te
get rich bat how to get home.
An Iowa farmer fired at a quail anu
shot a tramp. What Iowa wants is mcrr
quail.
Advice to oyster eaters, candidates and
American mothers in Eurepe-Watch the
count.
The Cincinnati Enquirer presents Jack
F==sa=s.. as an honorary menu M
tional Board b Health, of thaFss
him A w, the man heard his dog b,rlir. Co.,.
men he left him at home h, la;,
was MS left bow-wow.e r ''' '' sad If
gre We asked what constitute
ih"h' we should say the f,c,1t~ S''''
ever IN haste, but never in ., ~ o' oei"E
1T is hard to Understand whr
10 IRA" twenty odd feet of water ,,1'a ,E mas
has IA whole sea full in front of ber nth 'hT
81 thought You took y, ;n+
welfare" said IN unsuccessf,,, III my
sir" she replied, "only in vour f,ra,-, ~"
Duluth has three churches whit,
be turned into grain elevators with h,,. T ~!
tie expense. She built 'em that ". NJ
purpose. - oii
* What
sugar" asks correspondent. We, :. is
generally because the grocer patronizes the
sand bank too literally.
-" Where's your partner, this morning,
Mr.. Hyson ?" the neiGhbor asked the gro
cor. Don't know for CERTAIN" cautiously
replied the old man, he died last night.
Pupil: 81 know how many days there
are in n year-three hundred and sixty-iivc
and fourth" Parent: " Is that so? Where
does that fourth come >" Pupil: "Fourth
of July"
-"Ma," said little boy, looking up from
an illustrated paper. " l wish | was it'll.
South Africa boy" Why, George 80
asked his ma. "Why, cause their moth
ers don't wear slippers" lie feelingly re
piled
"A young mother was giving to her son,
aged five years, Il touching description Of
the misery into which the prodigal son had
fallen. Gar away from home, and hi-
kind father obliged to take care Of swine.
with nothing to eat but the husks of corn
left by them etc. "Then why didn't he
eat the pig" was the practical reply.
Two grammarians were wrangling the
other day, one contending that it VAS
proper TO say, "NIy wages is bisA
the other nosily insist--i~fhat the correct
thing was, My wages are high Finally
they stopped a day laborer, and submitted
the question to him. (Which do You SAY.
Your wages is high, or Your wages are
high" ooh, off wild yer nonsense" h.
said, resuming his pick; eyer naythur or
We right-me wages is low, bad luck to it. -
Pertinent Queries: What does the bill
let douX? What check did counter sign
Who ever saw hood wink? Who cvcr
saw a pig iron? What does egg plant
Why did the thunder boil? Who ever
heard foot ball" Why did the dew drop
| Where does clock work. What did plo,r
share? Who ever saw wheel wright
For whom did penny weight? Who did
| tin foil What did brandy smash" What
did grass plot" What was it grape shot :
What did the pick pocket? Who did the
goose berry,
| "A boy called TO see General Vance. lie
modsStly communicated his wishes 10 ~
door-keeper. Have you n card, sir ." H.
| grutfiy growled. Cards said the boy
thoughtfully, mechanically running his hanG
in the rear pockets of his coat. "No, sir:
don't carry EN-" "Where are you from ~
inquired the door-keoper. "North Caro-
lima" was the prompt answer. "Well, hev
| do you do in North Carolina when Denpl,:
go a visiting" Why, they ride mp 10 =
feller's fence and hollcr to him to tie hi,
dog, and they get down and 90 i'm" was tho
laconic reply.