The Louisiana cotton-boll. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], Attakapas, La.) 1872-1883, 1879-12-04

| A REAL Lucifor is match for any
W.T.
=. FtyD Iogic-arguing through tho
telephone.
lF care killed u cat, care can throw u
bootjack straighter than most of people.
TIE coming three months of tho year
are prominently the farmers marketing.
"VERY good, but rather too pointcd,o
as tho fish said when it swallowed th
bait.
WHAT il an island? A body sur
rounded by water. Give an example, A
boy in swimming
THREE feet mako yard, very truo;
but two feet unmako it mighty quick,
provided they aro hens feet.
FORGET not taine own Importance"
is nm old prOycrb. Its about the only
thing that some men don't forget.
"TuE falls at Niagara have n Gcocy
look, and the hackmen say its contar
gious, ......u rs s.,.a
Ar Niagara, the other day, when a
young man reported the falls afre, IL
was timely echo that shouted "ths
fnlIsfrc," -.f
BUSINESS suits, says an advertise.
mcnts. So it docs; but the more there
is of it the better it suits, providing 1t
IL profitable,
DRINKING men claim that they inn
bibo to sotisfy an appetite. But we have
noticed that. the moro thoy drink the
more hapPy-tight they get.
A GENTLEMAN who was asked for his
marriage certificate quietly took his hat
Off and pointed to bald spot. The ev-
idcnCC WAS conclusive.
AN Albany gonius calls new sus.
pender which has been patented "Ths
Conscience Suspender."L Itssowcs its
name to it's extreme elashCitYd
IT was the fall Of au apple that setEir
Isaac Newton to thinking, but the fall Of
the shingle has made nlDro boys thing
than all The apples that ever grew.
"WHoM can we truatW il The black
type inquiry of an exchange. 1t is Of
no consequence "Whom ean we nj
duce to trust us?' is thesoul agonizer.
"BLoep viii tell" but, then, it is not
the most desirable business q man can
be engaged in, to stand around and talk
"blood" 10 you. Let it speak for itself.
In the past year therewero sixty-eight
suicides in the ranks of the Italian army,
said to have been caused by eRpui from
military life.
A RECENT picnic was turned into
hollow m0ckery by every fellow rCmem-
bering to bring a corkscrew, and depend
ing on somebody else to furnish the
bottle. as s.-4 ..r.fa
MARTIN FsTUrPER asks: /" Where arc
the pure, the noble and the meekp
Don't know whore they arc, In England;
but in this country they are rithning for
office. HrffH iodF
Toinquirer: BY referring f6,Bartlett's
dictionary Of quotations YOuywill prob
ably find that the. author,of the request,
"giye ME another horye,"' Is Robert
Bonner.
The gang of burglars who work for
seven straight hours 10 hammer n safe 10
pieces, to secure fourteen cents know how
d country minister feels next day alters
donation visit. tf,sgasf
A FRENCH widow, who was, fbowniling
the loss Of her husband, suddenly hushed
her sobs, and drying her eyes said:
Why should weep? FknoW where no
spends his nights nowp s4T
TIE school-boy viii gioat for half
day on the enigmas I'M the puzzle col.
umD, but when he comes to getting his
regular arithmetic lesson hegcppsiders it
the greatest bore on earth. =. -
How to tell bad egg, is the title
Of an article in an exthAnge| When
you have any thing to t6If bad egg,
you must be careful not tosbreak tho
shell while importing The information.
"Go to the deyiIn' mutsereda a lawyer
TO dead beat who entered his sphip and
requested the loan Of nickel. "fhats
what the man next door told me. Good
morning your honor; glad totaes your
HAMILTON county, Ohio has had
cooking contest, and g prize ha8 been
awarded to young woman who prepared
good dinner In ixty-fyc, 1ninntcs.
Another girl cooked dfhDtf i'm fifty
four minutes. But it was NOT Food.
A saALL boy asked his mother, GER
tain worthy lady Of this city, If God
punished everybody that told q lie.
Certainly be does was the reply.
You had better look out tren, mother,
for haven't had that piece Or raspberry
pie you promised me tw6,daya ago.'
A GENTLEMAN passing across the play
ground Of Il public scto6liwas obliged to
complain to The principal, which he did
thus: have been abused by some rag
Gals Of this place, and ] have come to
acquaint you Of IL, ~ understand you
are the principal HW eff
WHEs you see d lady running after
street car, shaking her paIasgl f5ikc mad
and crying frantically, & Here, here"
the thought comes that all ,thls trouble
and Yexation Of spirit might have been
prevented, had she btens taught 10
whistle on her fin08ras f,sna.y
DoE'T you want me 10 90 % the gal
lcry and have my pictHfe 'taken, my
dear" inquired his wife This husband
sadly said, with your lniif bangedT'
Being answered in the faiirfdatiye, no
aid, mournfnlly, "No, IN. You do ev-
erything you can to break py heart."--:
Aodern 1rq0.
SRvEhAL men lately sRasn the Mfssis.
Bippi river, above Eeg Orleans, on n
gager. a reporter on the rnce says:
None of them seemed 70 be putting
forth much effort tin Ii was discovered
that an alligator had strtlck out from
sil9ie "5 SOHPEH0ff ahI tHeh~-HeIg
every man did his best To- keep the alli-
gator from carrying off the stakes"
IN 1878 27O8 medical students we're
graduated from ffty-Bine colleges Of
the United States. As the statistics
show that in this country an average Of
800 people support one physician, there
must I'D D constant supply of oyer $4,000
f1afieilka who mfst t3av tf3e Handsome
Bum Of 81 ,g76,000 yeisr, In order 10 al