The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1879-05-24
WHY'S: WISE HND Witty.

The watchworl of life: Tick
What is it the sad sch waves
The oldest verse in exi>tcnce-the uni
Verse.
Hunted down-the first indications Of a
moustache.
-Fireinen's balls are like women's hair,
because they always come off ut night.
Sing Hey is not u merry maiden or a
tar. He is just a Chinese washee man.
The pun is mightipr than the sword
E'. But it is seldom as sharp and pointed.
There is nothing mysterious about mos
Guitoes. 1t is easy TO show how they may
| nip-you-latc.
The fashion editor of an exchange re-
ports that pockets, to he fashionable, must
| have silver Innings
-" Madam said tramp the other day
"would You give me An old pair of pants
for Pm starvin' to DEATH
Whittier says: Whatever things be
sweet or fair Love make, them So" The
< -
bonnetS.
a Mystic, Conn, clergyman received
only four dollars and a half salary last year
1t is thought he worked over time for the
four dollars.
-"Great heavens he murmured, as the
dealer named the price, 81 don't want a
whole strawberry: only want small slice
off the round
Judge: " Have you anything to offer to
the court before sentence is passed on you >"
Prisoner: No, Judge. | had ten dollars,
but my lawyers took that
"A husbands farewell: Dear Sal. the
doctor tells me our baby's tooth won't be
through for three weeks yet: till then good
bye: you always said You loved it more than
did"
Tit for Tat-Mamma (to Hamilton, who
has been put in the corner because he would
not say please 'D-"Iou may come out
now, lIamilton!' Hamiton-''No till YOU
say please, mother
n small pocket rcvolver-The West
Chester unity Ncrs says that Mr.. Cham
dler, of West Marlborough, few DAYS since,
shot hawk with II small pocket revolver
which measured four feet six inches from
Tip to tip
There evidently was Il diversity of con-
ticting religious beliefs On earth from the
very planting of the primeval Garden CIV
an of he.
Twas Vie establishing of the = Eve-anrelics
Alliance
"A gentleman addressed his servant
flames, how is it that my butchers bill
are SO large and | always have such ba,
dinners - 9 Really, sir, we never hav
anything nice in the kitchen that we don
send some of it to the parlor''
"A bright little threc-ycar old, living OF
Nam street, while her mother was trying L
get her TO sleep, became interested in som
outside noise. She was told that it wa
caused by a cricket, when she Sagcly oil
served, Mamma, | think he. ought to h
oiled"
"A story is going the rounds of the pres
about man who upon waking up on
morning and finding thieves had stolen hi
entire saw mill, thanked heaven that TN
robbers had left his water power. Tha
man was philosopher and should be recoc
nized as such.
-" Nan who is endeavoring to strike til,
other man for Il $40 bill" Now, old trl'
lets have the y. You know what the Bib,
says Help one another" His friend
with sad, sweet smile" Oh, yes. | know
but | say. you know, you're always tn,
another, you are
Extract from a Young lady's letter.
Aud, do You know, Maud and are quit,
sure that Capt. Popplc had taken far to,
much champagne at the ball, for he tool
ont his watch and looked hard ut the bach
of it, and then muttcred: BleSh my shout
| hadn't any idea it was that time o'night.''
-" Yes, said the witness, {" do remem
her the defendants neither CRYING on tn.
occasion referred to. She was weeping Will
her left eye-the only one she haS-and the
tears We're running down her right check
What" exclaimed the Judge: chow coult
that be-" ''lf your honor please" said
the witness, . she was awful croSS-eyed"