The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1879-03-27

| JOnH Nuiudulali my JVe'
LENT prohibits all balls but Goldfish
balls.
A SNOW WHITE crow is exhibited at
Boston's bird show.
THE only people who really enjoy bad
health are the doctors.
WHAT is every one doing at the same
time? Growing older.
MANY men whistle from want of
thought, but few from thought of want.
ALMOST everything is sold by weight
in San Francisco. Beer retails at i've
cents per pound.
TwENTY-sEvEN cOrpses were crema~
ted in Milan last year, at cost OF seven
ty- five cents each.
"CoME, gentle spring, ethereal mid
ness, come" and bring fan, glass OF
soda water, and some cough medicine
with you.
WAITER to member of legislature
Will you have some dessert?' Mem
Der to waiter" No, thank you, I'll take
a piece of pie"
IT is estimated that the new taber-
nacle in Salt Lake City will seat four
thousand persons, and standing room Tor
one thousand more.
1T was Brougham who said that a
lawyer is a very learned gentleman who
rescues your estate from your enemies
and then keeps it for himself.
IT was a little Scotch girl of seven
wears who, upon being asked whether
she would marry or remain single, said A:
Neither shall be widow"
VERY kind gent" Do you know, my
dear. that we have to-day the shortest
dav of the year ?" Lady" Very true
But your presence makes me forget it.
We know not, o we care not,
WHAT Joys await us there
II women only mold their tongues,
And girls don't bang their hair.
AN impossible feat for tensile pedes-
trian is to walk thousand miles IN
thousand hours past one thousand MIL
llnery stores displaying the latest styles
of spring b0nnets.
A NOVEL Good Templars' lodge has
lust been organized at Boston, with &
membership of sixty five women. 1t IS
the only lodge of the body IN the coun7
try which excludes men.
YOU'VE men sending $ ring poetry to
this office will please inclose their names
and addresses, not IOr publication, but as
an evidence of their insanity IN case they
are ever arrested for murder.
A SCOTCH lady had invited gentleSr
man to dinner on a particular day, and
ne had accepted with the reservation,
at Pm SPARED" {" Weel, weel, said the
lady, If ye're dead I'll not expect ye'
The menu for a New York charity
bail was printed on white SIX scroll
and wound around miniature cham~
payne bottle filed with sugar plums, the
whole being enclosed in bon-bon oox
tied with fancy ribbon.
ola SURPRISE is the name OF new
hat with three quarters OF yaru Oh
feathers hanging from the right SIDE.
1t is so called from the surprised manner
liz which the husband exclaims La
when presented with the bill.
"DoEs he know anything 2" asked one
friend OF another, referring to seemS
ingly stupid man. "'N No anything J"
replied the other. l should say he did.
He Nos so much that it is an absolute
luxury to hear him say Yes"
MATRIMoNY and love~making through
the columns of newspapers are on the
rise in Germany and Austria. Vienna
snd Berlin newspapers have agencies ior
such purposes, and the business, reported
to be profitable, lie carried out on cash
. basis. ...
( A BUCKsKIN pony, which, it is said,
Gen. Cushing rode to Mexico and
brought back with him to Newbury-
mort, il now owned by q resident OF
Ipswich. Mass. He is represented to be
fortv-four years old and still ready to do
his share of work when called upon.
GEORGE CARROLL, eolored man of
Red Bank, n. Y, climbed a tree for the
purpose of trimming it. Seating himself
on limb he deliberately sawed it of, and
he and the limb reached the ground to-
| gether. 1t is feared the man is fatally
| injured. The limb was not damaged.
"YEs," observed friend, "she GER
tainly is very highly cultivated. She is
very stylish, plays well, talks well,
dances well, and rides well, and succeeds
admirably in private theatricals. In
fact" he added, "she's just the kind Of
a girl you'd like one of your friends TO
marry"
A WORTHY householder at Valencia
warned the police of an intended at
tempt to rob his house. Several officers
were concealed on the premises, and the
nan and daughter went out to pass the
evening. On their return the officers
took them for robbers. and shot them,
killing the daughters and seriously wound
ing the man.