St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-09-05
SQuibs.

A Syracuse boy put his sisters switch
into cannon for wadding on the Fourth.
He said that was the proper way to
bang her hair.-[Syracuse Times.
"The only real, bitter tears,n says
some one, "are those shed in solitude"
YOu may bet your life that philosopher
never saw ten-year-old boy coming
out of the woodshed in company with
his father and skate-strape.-[ Hawk
eye.
Grandpapa: "What on earth is the
matter with you, Tommy? You have
been crying all the morning" Tommy:
$50 would you cry, too, grandpapa, if
you fell down twice without getting up
once"
Youth: eyes, it is curious have no
beard; 1 can't think who 1 take after
my grandfather had a splendid one"
Hair Cutter: "Oh, perhaps you take
after your grandmother
The Rev. G.. R. Davis of Carson, and
the Rev. W. R. Jenvey of Reno, never
lose an opportunity of giving each other
a sly dig, says the Virginia Chronicle.
Parson Davis preached at Reno the
other Sunday, and while taking break
fast at Parson Jenvey's house, re-
marked: "GHess Tll take some more
steak, as l have to preach" ''Guess
I'll brace up little, too" rejoined Jen-
vey, passing his plate for another sec
ton of the meat GIVE got to listen"
Some queer, crooked things were dug
up in the treasury yard at Washington
the other day and now they don't
know whether they are petrified sigma
lures of ex-Treasurer Spinner that fell
out the window, or lot of old sofa
springs.
Did you ever see base ball player
try to catch a train on a fly f-[New
York News. 1t would be too late to
rescue the fly, anyhow. When a train
is on fly, that fiy's mission in this
world is ended, and the train shouldn't
be annoyed. Rather encourage it to
go on more tiies.-[ NOrristown Herald.
A young man writes to know if it is
proper to take hold of young lady's
arm in promenading. Certainly it is.
Nothing looks SO nice as to see tall
youth walking with a little lady who
comes not up to his shoulder, with his
arm hooked into hers, lifting her half
of her feet every time he steps. The
nearer you can reach the appearance of
taking lady into custody like police
man, the more genteel it is, you know.
/ -lCincinnati Saturday Night.
The man who was bitten by a shark
at Long Branch on Thursday, will lee
ture. Thus the shark is taught the
folly of sighting his work. Albany
Journal.
Everything at Niagara Falls has been
xuTf fhA
roar of the falls and the hackmen.-
New Orleans Picayune.
THAT boy will make his mark in the
world some day." said parent of his
dullest child. So he did. He never
learned to write.
Several lawyers have lately been
missed from this city, and now comes
the announcement that sharks have an
peared at the New Jersey seaside re-
sorts.-[Philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
We arise from the Pullman concb
after the porter had helped drag off the
blanket. 1t has long been a Question
in my mind whether the Pullman
blankets are stuffed or weather-board-
ed. ! think now they must be built on
the plan of the Victoria bridge. The
one L slept under last night was an inch
and a7halt thicker than Miller plat
form, and just about as elastic. When
me porter folded it up, he had to go
outside, lay it on the rail and let the
tram run over it to make a crease in il.
when you cover up with one, you think
you have drawn the drapery OF plank
sidewalk about you or else covered
yourself up with wharf boat or the
SIDE OF frame house. All last night I
dreamed L was a turtle, sea turtle. one
OF the tortoise comb denomination and
That had caught cold in my shell and
couldn't bend it Burdette in Hawk
eye. '''-1