The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1879-01-26

Church.
The festival of the Italian Mission Sunday School
Church this afternoon.
CHAT BY THE WAY
When you say you the villain in mans
face you ought to look second time to be that
you do not see it by reflection.
Some peoples ideas of religion about sensible
those of the woman who gave to poor soldier
who had lost both legs tract the sin Of dancing
1t is harder to make the wrong right by arguing
about it excusng it than is to jump hole
in two jumps.
What was her exact intellectual condition it would
puzzle professor Of metaphysics to discover When
asked to boil the eggs just three minutes by the
clock she declared that it was impossible because
the clock was full quarter of an hour too fast
In fighting duel the parties who are to give and
receive the bullets ought to be careful not to take
any undue advantage of each other. When heard
last week that Judge Hilton and H. B. Clsfin had
sorted pistols thought at of the size Of the
combatants 1t seemed no more than fsir-since Mr..
Clafn is rather small man, while the Judge is
portly-that the seconds should chalk the person
of the Judge target just the size Of Mr. Cafin and
that the dry goods merchant hit outside that it
ought not to be counted. However, the whole story
turned out canard, and nothing more serious &C.
CURED than friendly hand shake and good laugh.
According to the rules of equity should also be de-
creed that when two persons fight duel of whom
is sighted, the man who is near sighted should
be placed just four PAGES his than his
opponent is to him. How this is to be done we do
not pretend to know but that 1t should be done is
beyond question.
When silas Barnes of Boston. man Of great eccen-
tricity and shrill tenor voice. asked to give
subscription to the Baptsts. he agreed to do it
at thav dali he hau in hoiI linz
hot water. Silss Barnes has departed. but he has
left his mantle the shoulders Of Dr. Fulton. The
denomination to which he belongs is every in y
while deluged by his hot. unwise and unclerical
criticisms. He the hot water boiler of the body.
He insists letting of steam in the faces of his
brethren. who hang their dropping heads and wonder
why he ever born-a conundrum whichthey in
varably give up. However, DR.. Samson with his
years of experience and scholarship behind him. and
surrounded by the affection OF those who know him
best must feel very like lion when wasp alights
in his NAME One good shake, and the insect will
discover that he is biting the wrong individual.
Spirtualis is great moral force. il the following
anecdote is true:-A man. who denied the existence
hereafter and took every occasion to scout it q
fable, at length died. After little he managed to
make himself known through q medium. The first
question his wife asked him was. incongruously
enough, whether he had changed his opinion as to
there being hereafter He replied in the afirma-
tive as would be expected under the circumstances
whereupon the partner Of his joys and SORROWS
braced her lost opportunity say II told you so"
Further investigation discovered his whereabouts
He did not spell out the word which indicated the
locality of his residence. but he pretty strongly
limited it by asking his wife send him his linen
coat and the thinnest pair of pants she could find.
Herbert Spencer, when engaged in the solution Of
a metaphysical problem that claimed the whole Of
his vast mind. never looked more speculatively abb
sorbed or more determined to produce results than
a deluded hen whom last week persistenty
setting on half o dozen glass door knobs. She gave
us the impression, as watched the varying
pressions of her counenance. that she had reluct-
antly arrived at the conclusion that protopasm
practically dead failure.
sympathy al ways indicates q certain refinement of
nature, but it is sometimes curiously misplaced.
The Samcse twins exhibition, and among
the spectators Irishman who had original
way of looking at things. He told . friend who
standing at his side that the most fortunate thing in
the world was that they were brothers, because If
they had been strangers to each other they would
never have been able to get on together.
Here are two thoroughly characteristic answers to
the same question two Of representative
men, During the last Second Advent excitement a
devotee met Mr.. Parker-Theodorc. Of course--and
coming to an end mex. weekT' Parker meditsted on
the solemn problem for moment. and then bright
ening up, said, well that don't concern much;
live in Boston," little further on he met Elmer
son and gave him the same piece OF valuable infor
nation. The great philosopher looked at him with
very Indifferent eye, and with the mcres. possible
shrug OF the shoulders replied. WELL let 1t TO
an end; we can get along full well without it,"
Some people are inclined by the depravity OF their
minds to make statement large that it topples
over of its gravity. AS for instance, political
speaker before promiscuous audience. was rolling
out his terrific periods the subject of human
equality. "Gentlcmen." said he, lit is my belief
that one man is good another" One would
think that any reasonable audience would be satisfied
with such q statement q that. Not an Hishman,
however, who seemed to be full of good spirits, of
what kind we cannot tell. He sang out at the top Of
his voice. ''Yis. Your Honor one man is good
another and better too" This is only cqualled by
the illogical character of the feminine mind. She
was regarding twins in very reflective manner and
concluded her moditations by saying. "How much
those children look alike" That ought TO have been
enough; but no. she undid it oil by adding, "Espe-
cially the one this way
sheridan never lost his balance. While he was
once In the midst of telling speech he was vastly
annoyed by gentleman who constantly sang out,
Hear hear" He bore the sting long M he could,
and then began one of his grandest periods. "den-
temen." he said, where will you find in this realm
a low aud base that for few miserable
pounds he would betray his country?" The same
voice answered. Hear hear" and Sheridan, turning
In the direction from which the voice came. caust
cally rcplied;'If he s here. you say he ". let