davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-23
The Perspiring Gentleman.

Just before the morning express on
the Kansas Pacific reached Denver a
man, who afterward registered at "a Den
yer hotel as J. r. Mathers, leaned back
in his seat and, hopping his face, ex-
claimed: @Oh, how I transpirel" a
gentleman at his side first chuckled and
then replied: *Perspire, you say?"
mo, I said transpire, and I mean
transpire,"' said Mr.. Mathers. @You
are not according to Webster "Well,
I'll just bet you $50 that I am right, p
said the perspiring gentleman, as he
reached into his vest pocket after his
roll. The other accepted the wager,
put up his $50, and, copy of Noah's
little book having been procured, the
definition of the word " transpire" was
found to be: To emit through the ex-
cretories of the skin; to send off in
vapor." The bet was paid.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-23
Buried Alive.

A young Russian nobleman, having
squandered his fortune, appealed to his
sister to relieve his wants. This she re-
fused to do, and he thereupon deter
mined to make away with her for the
sake of inheriting her property, and
found means to give her a draught,
which was probably intended to kill,
but which only produced deep sleep.
The funeral was hurried forward, and
the service had been performed over the
body, when one of the lady's friends
stepped up to the coffin to impress a
farewell kiss on the corpse's cheek
previous to the interment. Taking it
by the hand, she was surprised to find
some traces of vitality still remaining,
and begged that the interment might
be postponed, to try if her friend might
be recalled to life. The brother, of
course, would not listen to this, but
treated her request with ridicule. She
then hurried off to the authorities and
stated the case, and proper persons were
appointed to return with her; but he1
friend had been already buried, and SC
great is the generation for the dead in
Russia that for a long time her desire
to have the body disinterred met with
most violent opposition. At length
from some circumstances which trans,
PRED, the Commissioners of Inquiry
conceived some suspicion of the case
and determined on opening the grave
when it was discovered that the lady
had been buried alive, as her face was
much lacerated, and impressions Of he1
nails were found on the coffin lid. The
brother was taken into custody, con.
fessed his crime, and underwent the
punishment he so richly deserved.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-23
COUNTRY THANKSGIVING SERMON

Az, goodman, close the great barn door;
The mellow harvest time is DER;
The earth has given her treasured meet
VI golden corn and bearded wheat.
You and your neighbors well have wrought
And OF the summers bounty caught,
Won from her smiles and from her tears
Much good, perhaps. for many years.
You come tribute now to pay
The bells proclaim Thanksgiving Day.
Well have you sown, we'll have you reaped
And OF the riches you have heaped,
You think, perhaps, that you will give
A part, that others, too, may live.
But if such argument you use,
Your niggard bounty refuse.
No gifts you on the altar lay
In any sense are given away.
Lo! rings from heaven voice abroad;
Who helps Gods poor doth lend the Lord
What is your wealth? He'd have you know
10 hold it, you must let itgo.
Think you the hand by Heaven struck cold
viii yet have power to clutch its gold?
Shrouds have no pockets, do they say?
Behold! show you then the way;
Wait not till death shall shut the door.
But send your cargoes on before.
Lo he that giveth of his hoard
10 help Gods poor doth lend the Lord.
To-day, my brethren do not wait;
just yOnder stands Dame Kelley's gate;
And would you build a mansion fair
In heaven. send your lumber there;
Every stick that on her wood-pile lies
May rise dome beyond the skies;
You stop the rents within her walls,
And yonder rise your marble halls;
For every pane that stops the wind,
There shineth one with jasper lined.
Your wealth is gone, your form lies cold,
But in the city paved with gold
Your hoard is held with hands divine;
st bears name that marks it thine.
Behold the bargain ye have made,
With usury the debt is paid.
No moth doth eat, no thieves do steal,
No suffering heart doth envy feel;
Ring out the words, who of his hoard
Doth help Gods poor doth lend the Lord
Go, get your cargoes under way;
The bells ring out Thanksgiving Day.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-23
HStick to the COw.O

We have known men who have failed
because they we're unwilling to let
well-enough alone. An amusing story,
told of DR.. Hugh Blair, a Scotch
preacher, and Boswell, the biographer
of DR.. Johnson, illustrates our remark !:
When a young man, Boswell, being
present one night in Drury Lane Thea
ter, amused the audience by initiating
the lowing of COW. He did it so well
that there was a general shout, "E7,-
core, the cow!"
Instead of responding, Boswell tried
to initiate the noise made by some
other animal, and failed. "Stick to the
COW, mon!" whispered DR.. Blair, who
sat next him.
Young people might profit by this
homely advice.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-23
KITTuE WHITE.

Oh, Ktttie White fair Kittie White,
you've shared my very heart tonight.
With glance so like soft sunsets raw.
Which meets the eye at close of day:
We shyly look-we dare not gaze
Lest dazzled by those parting rays.
On, Mttie White! glad Kttie White.
" all the merriest, loveliest sprite'
Your tresses bright seem golden snrav
When tossing in the breeze at nlav:
And childhood's dreams come i,act once ,,ors
OF angel guests from brighter shore.
Oh, Kittie White! loved Kittie White
1nough not with costly gems bedight,
Diamonds or pearls cannot prize
Galnst pearly teeth and sparkling eyes;
These are the riches past his quest
Who only is of gold possest.
Oh, Kttie White! dear Kittie Wbite
No wonder that my heart is LIGHT
smile from thee, thou charming elf
1llumes for me the world ITSELF
And, if of aught dream tonight.
My dreams will be of Kittie White
IICAGO, Ill. "
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-23

down town; and they, supposing me
public offcer-I wore a fatigue cap
asked me a question concerning the cars
and"-
'sAnd we only had ten cents" Inter.
rupted Gilbert; and he loaned me quar-
ter to ride home, and I went down
town to pay him back this morning
and'-
"Ah, begin to see light dawning al
lastr said Ralph. "It is complicated
case, as you say; but thank you, Hardy
tor your kindly personat:on of police.
man. doubt if the genuine article
would have dealt so gentlemanly with
such pair of grcenhorns. But now let
me introduce you to the damsel toward
whom you have SO gallantly played
knight. Rhoda, my friend Captain
Hardy, of the Seventy-ninth regiment.
Hardy, my sister, Miss Rhoda Bruce,
and o, Gil! this is Captain Hardy, a
Regular as you have discovered; Cap
tain, my cousin, Gilbert Gains and now
that we are at our gate"-the party hav-
ing reached the door by this time ':let
us 90 in and eat our dinner WITH
"With thanksgiving and praise!' broke
in Gilbert, who had been giving Rhoda
series of pokes and lunches as he
walked along beside her.
''That is just it, exactly" replied the
captain. ut is true Thanksgiving day
for me; 1 don't know when I have felt
such desire to return thanks" with a
warm look at Rhoda's bright blooming
face.
1t was some time before Rhoda could
summon sufficient confidence and cour-
age to address her brothers friend as Cap
tain Hardy.
"Only think, Gilbep," she said, II
called him number 'seventy-nine' that
night, and shall always think of him
as number 'seventy-nlne,' and am so
afraid shall address him by that name. -
But with the captains frequent calls
at the house, during the rest of the win
ter, Rhoda gradually overcame her tim
idity, and before spring she had learned
not only to call him "Captain,' but to
qualify that title in her mind andthoughts
with the tenderest of adjectives; and in
due time it came to pass that she prom
lsed to change her name of Bruce to that
oI dardy.
when she wrote little note to Gilbert
announcing their engagement, he wrote
back, ''ycu owe me one for him, anyhow;
it it were not for me you would never
have met him so dramatically at least
it was that pretty red hood of yours that
first attracted him; he is my Thanksgiv-
ing present to you, and I want to come
to Seventy-nine's wedding.''
A year from the night Rhoda sat in
the dim twilight waiting for a lover, she
was married to Captain Hardy Of the 10th
regiment: and Gilbert was there!
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-23
A Talk With Artemus Ward.

1 met Artemus Ward but once. I
was quite young at the time, and was
acting as city editor of the Star, pub
ished at Schenectady, N. Y. While I
was editor of that sheet met Artemus.
l was standing on The bridge at the
time, and, in talking about newspaper
work, was about to say something in
regard to my heavy editorial RESPONSE
bihty, but Ward checked me by asking:
"What creek is this?"
"Creek!" I exclaimed, "why, this is
the Erie canal"
"How far is it navigable?"
~Why, of course it is navigable from
one end to the other"
~Well," solemnly replied Ward, shat
beats all the streams I ever heard of.
( By the way, I think T can make out
some large boats anchored up the
stream there What are they, propellers
or side-wheelers
I repGed that they we're merely canal
boats, and we're moved by horse power
"Ah! didn't think the stream was
SO shallow as that" said. Artemus.
"As shallow as what?"
"Why, you say that those boats are
pulled along by horses. Now, of course,
they must walk along in front of the
boat, mustn't they? I used to run a
stone boat on my lamented Uncle
Johns farm, and I distinctly remember
that the horses walked along in front"
I mentally declared that T had never
before met with SUCH ignorance. 1
! spent some time in explaining the pc
culiarities of the big ditch, and, just as I
had begun to think that at last I had
set the stranger right on the subject, he
knocked my hopes into kindling wood
by remarking:
II suppose that, when the stream
dries up in summer, they put the boats
on wheels, don't they?"
Then I began again and explained
every feature in the canal, from New
York to Erie. How attentively he list
ened to my words. can still see that
melancholy face, lit by the sad light of
the stars, and those mournful eyes look
ing into mine SO earnestly, and again I
hear, as I did then, after I had talked
for nearly half an hour, going fully in
to the details of boating, the low, pa
thetic drawl:
"Any mills on this stream that you
know Off"
Shortly after some gentlemen came
along who seemed to be acquainted
with my obtuse friend. Presently one
called him Artemus, and then T COM
menced to reflect. Railways reject best
when I'm hid away somewhere, so I
went and hid myself.-Detroit Free
Press.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-23

"This is the happiest Thanksgiving of
my life," said Linnie's handsome young
lovor, after they were all calm again.
"And by-the-way, I fancy this lovely lily
kept back Its blossom for my return. 1t
should have bloomed weeks ago. Did it,
too, with my love, whisper 4 waltz Was
it long waiting, dear?'
every long-very sorrowfully long,"
she returned; and tear, fer past unrest
and present bliss, dropped again into the
white heart of the winter lily.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-23
A Coon Swallowed by q Snake.

Not many years ago the writer was
homeward bound from the Soath
When our boat drew up to the bank
few miles below Vioksburg, to take on
wood, q number of passengers, I among
the rest, ventured ashore. While en-
gagged in drawing down huge streamer
of Spanish moss, my attention was
called to raccoon that was descending
a leaning tree few yards away. APP
preaching, I discovered a very large
serpent eagerly inspecting his COON
ship, and seemingly specializing on the
amount of heterogeneous matter sur
rounded by that glossy hide, Down
came the coon, and his serpentine foe
swallowed him without struggle. By
this time number of the party were
on the spot, and we were preparing to
iberate the animal by opening the alb
domen of the snake, when to our sur
prise the coon emerged from the caudal
extremity of his living prison, and
scrambled for the tree he had recently
occupied. In this attempt he was
foiled. The willy serpent seized him,
tail foremost, and sent him bowling
home, but not as easy as before, for
the coon resisted every effort of deglu-
tition, and in this he was aided by the
displacement of his fur, for the snake
was swallowing him against the nap.
Such being the case, We concluded the
coon would never find the Way out via
the aimentary, and we again prepared
to open the reptile. In this we were
mistaken, for after series of strug-
giles, starts, stops, blind switches, etc.,
he struck the main track and came
backing out, bewildered but not dis
couraged, and again set out for the
tree. But the snake arrested him head
foremost this time, and, drawing up his
huge body into dozen or more lateral
angles, curves and convolutions, hop
ing thereby to retain him, he slid him
down his esophagus like g. worm-loz-
enge. "But all too late" The cum
ming coon had learned the route, with
all its by-roads, blind paths, drifts,
dips and angles. He again emerged,
only to be seized by the hungry SER
pent, who now stood guard at the
door.
This was repeated until the serpent
was enfeebled by 'exeStion, and the
coon, animated with success, came gal
Looping through like o steer in a corn.
field, sprung clear of his foe and re-
gained the tree. The snake was then
killed.-Ct. Louis Globe De1Ocynt
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-23
OkOlOna and IemarS.
A Deadly Breakfast.

At Lexington, Va, James Johnson,
a well.known negro, made bet at the
breakfast-table that he could eat more
fruit than any one present. Silas Jones
and Peter Lindsay took up the bet; and
all three set to work eating peaches,
apples, watermelons, and grapes. John
son won his bet, having eaten whole
watermelon and a half, one dozen
peaches, twelve punches of grapes, and
four large apples. He was taken sick an
hour after and died the same evening.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-23
Tne GOurmand at the Public Dinner.

The individual gourmand is not yet
an extinct being. There are few dinner
tables which his presence does not Of
fend. The walters know him of old;
they scent him from afar. He is ac-
qualnted with the excellences and the
defects in the cooking of every tavern
of note in the city. He knows the
quality of every dish upon the menu;
there is no mystery for him in the most
incomprehensible of French names. He
takes his seat at the table with the
manner of one who has great duty be-
fore him, and who intends filing it to
the uttermost. He opens his menu,
places it against the decanter in front
of him, and tucks his napkin under his
chin. By these preliminaries you may
know him, and it will be we'll that you
should recognize him at first, so as to
spare yourself the trouble of trying to
engage him in conversation, for he is
there not to talk, but to eat. Running
his eye down the card, he ticks his ia
vorite dishes, and, buttonholing the
waiter, begins to worry him forthwith:
Nov, don't forget; and mind, can't
touch it underdone. Crisp, you know,
crisp and brown. What's that you say
no more asparagus? Why, you've
only brought me twicel All! guinea
fowls, Ell? Well, if there's one thing
have weakness for, it's larded guinea.
fowl, but where are the peas? On, hang
it, waiter, you know this will never do
-guinearfowl and no peas Why
you'll want me to eat spring chickens
without York ham next time I come
here. There; take it awayl I shan't
get over this for a week; no peas, Ell!
Oh, yes! Look here; I'll have some
peaches la Condo, and let them be a
Ia Condo, and not a la anything else
Its not week ago that fool of a
waiter brought me suedoise de creme
and swore it was ice pudding. He
thought I didn't know an ice pudding
when saw an ice pudding; but he
made mistake. And I say, none OF
your Stilton for me, you know; don't
try to come any fresh stuff over me, be-
cause it won't do; real ripe, with dash
of old port over it, that's about my
FORM" Heaven help the waiterl His
assailant won't give him more than six
pence.-O712CeTS1ty magazine.
OkOlOna and LemarS.
After mature de]iberation, says the
New York World, we have come to the
conclusion that
the frenzied utterances
of
the Okolona Southern StateS
and
the Lemars Sentinel
Cbeing always printed in this staccatc
style)
contain for the
compositors
of those journals
great deal
of
Fat!!l
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-23

II AM the oak; you are the vine," re-
marked an ardent though silly lover to
his Marianne. "Let the vine, therefore,
creep around the oak until it reaches
the topmost leaves "And finds moth.
ing there" exclaimed the heartless
beauty.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-23

LIGHTNING has been accused of some
strange freaks lately. One day last
week it struck Jersey editor in the
throat and passed down to his stomach.
He paid his ten cents, and it didn't hurt
him bit. f,.s.r- 81 1851 f-.s.s
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-23
Tools Great Men Work With.

It is not tools that make the work
man, but the trained skill and perse-
verance of the man himself. Indeed,
it is proverbial that the bad workman
never yet had good tool. Some one
asked Opie by what wonderful process
he mixed his colors. L" I mix them with
my brains, sir" was his reply. It is the
same with every workman who would
excel. Ferguson made marvellous
things such as his wooden clock, that
accurately measured the hours by
means of common penknife, tool in
everybody's hand; but then everybody
is not ferguson. A pan of water and
two thermometers were the tools by
which DR.. Black discovered latent heat
and prism, lens and sheet of paste
board enabled Newton to unfold the
composition of light and the origin of
color.
An eminent foreign savant once called
upon DIR. Woollaston, and requested to
be shown over his laboratories, in which
science has been enriched by so many
important discoveries, when the doctor
took him in study, and pointing to an
old tea tray, containing few watch
glasses, test-papers, small balance, and
blow-pipe, said: "There is all the
laboratory I have"
Stothard learned the art of combin-
ing colors by closely studying butter
flies wings; he would often say that no
one knew what he owed to these tiny
insects. A blunt stick and barn door
served Wilkie in lieu of pencil and can
vas. Bewick first practiced drawing on
the cottage walls of his native village,
which he covered with his sketches in
chalk, and Benjamin West made his
first brushes out of the cats tail.
Ferguson laid himself down in the
fields at night in blanket, and made a
map of the heavenly bodies, by means
of thread with small beads on it,
stretched between his eyes and the
stars. Franklin first robbed the thun-
der-cloud of it's lightning by means of
a kite made with two cross sticks and a
silk handkerchief.
Watt made his first model of the con-
densing steam-epgine out of an old
anatomist's syringe, used to inject the
arteries previous to dissection. Gull
ford worked his first problem in mathe-
matics when cobbler's apprentice,
upon small scraps of leather, which he
beat smooth for the purpose, while
Rittenhouse, the astronomer, first cal
culated eclipses on his plow-handle.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-23

The Chinese keep grapes long time
fresh by cutting a hole in pumpkin,
cleaning it out, and, after filing with
ripe fruit, replacing the cover.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-23

lowed him until they stood at last in the
midst of shouting crowd, far down in
the city, Watching the rigging flames that
now burst forth from the building from
| whence the alarm had sounded.
There was fascination in the sight of
the long curling tongues of fire that lick.
ed the walls of the house caressingly, and
terrible grandeur IN the final topple and
crash of the mighty fortress of flames
Rhoda stood as spell. bound at the sight
as was her companion, until some one
rudely pushed by her, peered into hel
face and laughingly addressed her as
"Little Red Ridinghood," then she sud.
denly became aware that it was night
and that they two were far away from
home and alone.
"Come, Gilbert, come," she whispered,
quickly pulling him away; 1--WE must 60
home;" and, hurrying through the crowd
she discovered upon reaching the first
open street, that they were at least two
miles from home; and from a clock in a
store near by she saw that it was consid-
erably after ten.
"Have you any money, Gilbert, we
must ride home at 9nce9" she asked, after
feeling in her own pocket and finding
her purse was not there.
"Ten cents; but that's not enough, is
it, Can't we walkg I'm not tired"
II don't think we can; I am cold and
tired, both? O Gilbert! why did we
Gomez" and there was slight suspicion
of tears in the trembling fri htcned voice,
as Rhoda realized their uncomfortable
position; two miles from home, after ten
o'clock, and not money enough to ride;
it was not very pleasant state of affairs,
surely. Rude men passing now, began
to notice the girl, and boldly stared IN
her pale face. ''Gilbert,'' she whispered,
shrinking from their gaze, "Gilbert, we
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-12-15
0OHn GREAT 7O5n
1919 PENNSYLVANIA 1919
ROUTE ~

1879 s $ $s4zs2s 1879
TO THE SoHTs WEST sass} soYTHwEsr
SPLENDID soENEaY. MAaN1TIcENT EQUIPMENT.
TRAINS Z n Esf R aGHsa 1s5 .s from Depot
sbSTR sn Ct ss Mes and T. %tb
Pttsburs to Gncin a5 st. Louis and Chicago
BALTIMORE AND POTOMAC RAILROAD.
sa 11.asy ~ daily EXCEPT saturday; WITH
Lock Haven, and Elmira, at l04o I'm. daily.
For New York and the East. $40 a. M. and l: 80
Pin P saiiy except Sunday and ~ S2nr daily
Gars $50 day
ss 5 al s tseas 2sss
afording direct transfer to Fulton street. avoid
Ing douSle ferriage and journey across New York
For P6iladsphia, $40 am; and 80 m. daily.
For ss sss sFSsRs sRS So
For Rspss sisss Ins e. s1S 's1 and 20
For Annapolis. 500 a. m. and 40 p. M. daily. ex-
cept Sunday.
% Nm f AHP n55kkBBxaSbHiz AND WSsHiSa
For Ae1andria, Z, 100, g. IL am, 4:2e. $40,
6;26, and II 80 pm. On Sunday at Z, and
For keh Chm nda and the South TOO am daily and
$40 m. daily, except Sunday.
Trains leave Alexandria for Washington, 9, 8. 10
Am IL: 80. 8, s, 2, O5 p. m. and 12 midnight.
pm.
Tickets information, Sleeping and Parlor Gar &C.
commodatons can be procured at the offices, north
east corner Of Thirteenth street and Pennsylvania
avenue; northeast corner of Sixth street and Penn
sylvania avenue and at the depot where orders can
be left for checking Of baggage to destination from
hotels and residences.
FRANK THOMSON. General Manager. nos9
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-12-15

eE-Chicken ''stuf1ing' sounds inelegant.
padding" is a more aesthetic word.-[Er.
e'The old bewlldered holiday look Is steal
ing once more DER the human viSage.n
eE Miss Alice Longfellow daughter of the
poet, has become the Massachusetts, Vtce-Re-
gent of the Mount Vernon Ladies' Association.
eE-Gustave Ohr and Geo. Mann have been
convicted at Canton, Ohio, of murder In the
first degree for killing John Whatmough, OF
Philadelphia, near Alliance, Ohio last June.
eE- A young man eloped with an Illinois girl,
and abandoned her at Hays City, Kan. giving
her draft for 500, and advising her to return
home as he was going to Texas. She met with
some delay In getting money for the draft, but as
revolver, and some provisions, and started after
the fugitive Interesting news Is expected from
her.
cH-Three hundred mounted men rode through
Elliott co., KY, whipping all the reputed thieves
and hanging two confessed highwaymen