Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1879-05-07
He Would Not Be a Farmer

fare begins. Early III the morning
the iocund farmer HES him To the !
field, and hunts around in the dead
weeds aud grass for the pIow he
left ont there somewhere sometime
last tall. When he finds II, he
takes 1t to the shop To have 1t
mcnded. When it is mcnded, he
goes back into the field with II.
Halt way down the first iurrow he
lays, he runs the plow fairly into
big live oak root, the handles
alternately break II rib on this side
Of him and jab the breath out at
him on the other, and the sturdy
root, looking mp ont of the ground
with a pleased smile Of recognition,
says chccrinlly:
"Ah. Mr.. Thistlepod, at it again,
ch~
Fifty feet farther on he strikes Il
stone that doubles mp the plow
point like a piece of lead, and
while the amazed and GREATNESS
agrculturist leans limp heap OF
humanity across the pillow, I'll"
relic of the glacial period remarks,
slccpily:
"Ah ha; spring here already!
Glad you woke me up
And then the granger sits down
and patiently tries 10 tie on that
pillow point with hickory wilhc,
and while he pnrsnrs this trnlilrss
4. fri
down near enough To ask:
"Goin' ta pat this 20 in corn this
year. Mr.. Thistlrpod"
And before he has time to answer
the sable bird, tiny grasshopper,
wrigeling out OF "a clOd so full OF
eggs that they cant be counted.
shouts briskiy:
"IIere we are again, Mr.. Thistle.
pod; dinner for 800, 600, 000, 000!"
/ And then II slow moving, but
positive potato bug crawls ont into
the sunlight to see il the frost has
faded his stripes, and says:
The old fashioned pcachblow
potatoes are the best for a sure crop
but the early rose should be plant.
ed for the first market
/ Then several new kinds of bugs,
who haven't made any record yet E,
CLIMB over the fence and come up
! to inquire abont the staple crops at
the ncighbolhood, and before he
can get through with them Prot
Tee sends him circular stating
that there won't he Il drop of rain
from the middle of May till the last
Of October. This almost stnns
him. but he is beginning to feel Il
/ little resigned when dispatch is
received from the Department ct
Agriculture at Washington. stating
that all Indications point to II sum.
mer OF unprecedented, almost in.
crSSant aud long continued raiuS
and Hoods. and advising him to
plant no root crops at ait. While
he is u, ing 10 find words IN which
to cNpi'.,s his emotion. n neighbor
/ drops IN 10 tell him that all the
peach trees in the country are win.
ter killed. and thar the bog cholera
is raging tirrccly in the northern
part OF the township. Then his
wife comes ont to tell him the dog
has fallen into the web. and when
the poor man gets to the doOr-yard,
his children with much shouting
and excitement meet him and tell
/ him there are IA couple of eats, of
/ the pole denomination, in the
spring house. and another one un.
der the barn. With tears and
groanS he returns To the field. but
10y that time it has begun To SNOW
so hard he can't Sre the horses
/ when he stands Ut the pillow. lie j.
! discouraged and starts for the
house with his team, when he
meets man who LOUNGES han for
using three horse clcvis he made
himself. aud wrings ten dollars uut
ct him for it. When he reaches
the house the drlVc.wrll man is
waiting for him, and while he is
settling with him IL clock pcddicr
comes in. and a lightning rod man.
/ screened 10y the storm, climbs mp
( on the so smoke house and fastenS
SO worth of lightning rods on il,
aud before ,hr poor farmer can get
his gun half loaded. the hniltl
comes in to tell him that he has
been drawn on jury.
No, | would not, if ! could, be a
farmer.
The life is pleasant and indie.
pendent. but it seems to have it's
drawbacks.
If ! were n farmer ] wOnld grnm
BILE all | wanted, and thump the
man who ionnd fault with me for it.
-Ha~keye BWd'ttc.