Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-05-22

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note.
An ETHEREAL maiden called Maud
Was suspected of being fraud;
Scarce a crnnb was she able rr
To eat at the table
But in the back pantry OLawd |!
A Beacon street lady, of Bos-
ton, who was presented at the OF
tawa court lately, displayed
Jewels of untold value. Fact.
If she had told the value every
one would have known they were
paste.
Next time you hear of a per-
son 120 years old just set it down
that they may have lived IS or
80 years themselves, and some
cheap man has put in the balance
of the time for them.
A physician at Laramie pep
pered a burglar with twenty-sev-
en- pills dropped into a shotgun.
He didn't break up the monoto-
ny of his practice bit, as the
patient died after the first dose.
"Jones, do you own this prop
erty?" eyes. That is, no. Or
rather, my wife owns 1t, and her
mother lives with u.s." and the
poor man groaned as he frantic
ally bit off a chunk of navy.
A lady told her little son, who
was teasing for something to eat,
to wait until dinner. With a
tear in his eye he burst out: 81
jest honestly sometimes think
you're stepmother!'
Myrtle Blossom sends us po-
en- called 'Kiss Ne Again" "
We wish it distinctly understood
that we never kissed her the first
time-unless the osculatory IA
vor was awarded in a moment
of absent mindedness.
"How dare you say that / new
er open my mouth without put
ting my foot in it?" demanded
Brown of Jones. "I hope you
will forgive me-" replied the lat
ter, ''for when ] said that | had
never seen the size of your foot. "
A Sumerville Sunday school
teacher had some remarks the
other day about "the fire that
never shall be quenched."
'What, never?" asked the class
in a chorus. But he didn't tum-
BILE.
A young man who was kick
ed off the front doorstep while
endeavoring to serenade his girl,
by her enraged papa, was too
cautious to call him an old pi-E
rate, but he didn't hesitate to
designate him as a freebooter.
That there is nothing so mean
but it will turn when trod upon,
is the testimony of a man who
stepped on barrel hoop. And
he was heard whooping it up till
the air was blue as he hmped in
to the house for some arnica.
Sympathizing stranger-Bless
me ! How did you manage to
fall like that, sir?
Irritated equestrian (who has
come to grief)-Confound It'll |
couldn't remain hanging in the
air after the horse run away from
me-could /?
A Boston lawyer, badgering
a witness, said sternly:-"I be-
lieve, sir, you served a sentence
in the State Prison?" eyes, was
the unconcerned reply, 81 was
in the State Prison, and / had
the misfortune to occupy the
cell your brother had had"
dwell, how isthespring trade?"
said a gentleman to friend the
other day. "Dry goods never
brisker," was the reply, "My
wife shops all day, and every
chair in the house is covered with
bundles, and / think of sending
my pocket-book out of town for
a change of air-it's SO thin"
Tailor to Customer-"I don't
understand yonr style of doing
things. Your salary is big
enough to enable you to pay
your BILL" Customer-"Well,
who said it wasn't?"-Tailor-
IaYou do not keep your word.
Customer" certainly / do. /
told you I'd pay you out of my
savings" Tailor-"W Well!-I
Customer-"Well! / have notl
saved ANYTHING"