Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-05-30
HuTnOr.
A polite fish-A gent eel.

pOllte uSH-A gent tci.
A shirt-front is thing TO be studded.
A grocer advertises in the following
terse manner: CLANS and cigars
smoked and unsmoked."
If you have little pig you can give
it whey and still keep it. This is a
curdling joke.-Nep York Graphic.
Resumption makes man run all
over town to find despised fifty cent
note TO send in letter.
When young girl begins to take an
interest in the arrangement of young
mans neck-tie, it is an infallible sign of
something more serious than sisterly
regard.
Let the dogs bark; but confound them
they shant do all the growling-not if
the forty odd millions Of people in the
United states know themselves Boston
Transcript.
There is a man on Ann Arbor Hill
who is so informally lazy that his friends
say it is impossible to cut him 10 the
quick, since he hasn't got any.-Albany
Journal.
The man who has sulking wife
Can't please her with u sonnet:
There's just one way to end the strife
Buy her a summer bonnet.
"My lord" began pompous young
barrister, 'it is written in the book OF
nature" "On what page, sir-on
what page interrupted the judge, with
pen in hand.
"That man came to this city forty
years ago, purchased a basket and COM
menced gathering rags. How much do
you suppose he is worth now" He
gave it up. Nothing, and he owes FOR
the basket?
About this time Prince Bismarck steps
around to his tailor's and remarks,
''Say Schneider, just put q copper lin
ing to dem goats and pants, viii you?
/ drinks We have anoder Zocialist
schuetzenfest poody sudden, maype."
The unblushing assurance that leads
the hen Of twenty summers to enter the
market rs a spring chicken, compels
the belief that nothing but the inexora-
BILE difficulties attending the exploit
prevents her from appearing in the
guise of fresh-laid egg.-Boston Tran
script
A prominent attorney residing in Sy-
racuse, while fishing a day or two since,
pointed out to his companion a sign.
board, remarking: "The fellow that
put up that sign is liar" "Why?"
asked his companion. Because that
sign reads, NO fishing III this brook
and caught the best trout in my bas-
ket directly under that board. "-Ro-
chester Union.
81 ahould like to have you raise II
club" said seven.by-nine book cam
yasser to daughter of Erin, as he stood
on the front step trying to talk her to
death on the subject of the Extinction
of the Tribes of the Seventh Century"
Il WILL said Biddy, as she reached
around behind the door "but bad luck
to your picture if you're lingering
around here when | get it raised" He
didn't linger. Elmira Gazette.
A gentleman not extremely given to
piety was dismayed by being asked to
say grace at strange table. To refuse
and explain would be embarrassing; to
comply would be equally 50. He chose
the latter, and started off briskly enough
with ooh, Lord, bless this table"-Just
here, being unused to the business, he
nearly broke down, but by gigantic
effort pulled through with "World with
out end. Yours respectfully, amen"
A young bride who had never learn
ed the gentle art of cookery, being de-
sirious of impressing her husband with
her knowledge and diligence, manages
TO have the kitchen door aar on the
day after their return from the bridal
trip, and Just as her lord comes in from
business, exclaims loudly: ''Hurry up,
Eliza, do! Haven't you washed the let
tuce yet? Here, give it to me; where's
the soap?
A newly-married man went home the
other evening and found his wife asleep
on the lounge. He kneeed beside her
and dcvoured her with loving eyes.
"John," she murmured in her sleep.
"Yes, my pet; what is it?" he whisper
ed, thrilled to his hearth depths by the
calling of his name. "John," she again
murmured, "sparerib is only nine cents
u pound" The thrill passed of.
81 knew man onee-Jack Mason
who went to donation where six farm
ers we're to contribute a jug Of milk
apiece. Well, one man, very mean
man. thought it would not make any
difference if he contributed water in
stead Of milk; so he filled up jug with
water and took it to the donation.
When he got there he turned it over
the bung and it run into barrel where
all the other farmers had poured their
milk. Now, what do you think was
tho result? Why, every one Of the six
farmers happened to be as mean rs
Jack Mason. They all brought water.
Ed Perkins.
A clever fellow, an expert in the call.
ing, rang the door bell and soon the
lady OF the house was before him.
will you be kind enough to take this
book and give it-?' u guess not to-day
sir, said She, closing the door. But
madam, you don't understand. | only
want you to give it-f 81 cannot pos
sibly to-day, sir; I'm very busy. "''Why,
~, Inor MADAM, tho folks in {hp npyt