Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-07-31
sips of Fun.
Never fails of q crop-a hen.

AuC1 say tilc hiilGl dIOunQ the
markets is perfectly offal.
A new brand of cigars is call
led ''the lottery ticket" because
only one in a thousand draws.
No, Oscar; the person who
Idoes the crowning at a corona
ton is not called a coroner.
Lying about a politician never
hurts the man lied about; it is
having the truth told that kills
him.
There are only three hundred
shades of blue; we sometimes feel
as though there were twice as
many.
Mrs. Jones says her husband
will never be struck by light
ming, because he always gets in
sulate.
! Thirty-seven men have been
hanged in New York in four
years. New York is the Hemp
ire State.
Was it a man with a tooth
ache who said, when he saw the
forceps, "How happy could / be
with ether2p
When society reporter wish
es to puff n plain, vulgar girl, he
remarks that she is as beautiful
as accomplished.
The woman who said she
wouldn't marry the best man
living kept her word when she
married a tramp.
Although hair dyes are known
to contain lead poisons, women,
like King Richard, will 3risk the
hazard of the dye"
Keep close to your friends and
far away from your enemies, and
you will never have to indulge
in the luxury of quarrel.
'.Do you mean to insult me,
sir, by calling your dog by my
name?" ooh, no, sir, not at all;
| only meant to insult the dog"
"Whatl Refuse to lend a PAL
try x to me, your other self"
"That's why; you'd never return
the money; l know myself too
WE'LL"
1t is noticeable fact that the
smaller a travelling salesman's
salary is, the larger seal ring he
wears and the more room he
takes up at the hotel table.
The Toledo Commereiath has an
article headed, "Killed by the
of Lime;;" and the Oil
City DeTTlc6 says, "This was in
deed a lime kiln"
The dis-esteem and contempt
of others is inseparable from
pride. 1t is hardly possible for
us to overvalue ourselves but by
undertaking. others.
A pint and a half of st. Louis
whisky kills a man quicker than
a rifle ball, and when a Chicago
man strikes that town he is at
once invited to drink.
When the Connecticut Legis-
lature adjourned, the sheriff said,
" And may God save the State
of Connecticut" That ought
to have been said when it met.
A party advertising seashore
places, winds up with 'also a
cottage with beach privileges.
stable, etc. The latter fifty dol
lars a MONTH" This seems high
for an etc. a0 ~
An exchange speaks of pat
ent harrow just got out by a
man named A. Bowen. That is
new, for the Indians,
centuries ago, used A. Bowen
harrow.
'1'll make you prove that"
said a man to another, who had
accused him of theft. "Don't,"
said a witty by-stander, "for
you'll feel worse after it than
you do now"
Bachelor Sam Scudder, of
Wild Cherry Creek, is quite
bald. When the girls see him
coming, they say, "Here comes
Bal'sam of Wild Cherry" and
then they all begin to cough.
1t Is said of Sir Isaac New
toms nephew, who was q. clergy
man, that he always refused
marriage fee, saying in a tone
Of pleasantly, "Go- your way,
children. / have done you mis-
chief enough already without ta-
king your money" pag
Why is it that it seems sweet-
sr to pick up a dollar on the side
walk than to earn fVe?- Uncle
Sam. This question doesn't lack
cents but its all nonsense. It
doesn't take a minute to pick I'D
q dollar on the sidewalk, while It
requires from one to five days.
labor to earn five dollars.
eve Indians" said the chief
Of the Little Ottawas, with tears
in his eyes, speaking to Rev. DR..