Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1879-05-13
THE SNApTowN roMNNHAwK

1t looked very like a pigsty; but it
wasn't. 1t was the office OF the Snap
town Tommytai,l, and in the estimation
Of Simon slope, the cditor-in-chief and
| principal proprietor, was rather imposing
/ building. The frsi number Of the paper
had not vet made its appearance; but it
all went well. Itwould soon burst upon
/ the world with meicor-lkc brilliancy and
more than verify the expectations of the
public, which were very high can assure
YOU.
Simon slope had projected the paper;
Simon Slope had formed the company
that was 10 publish it; Simon slope had
bull, the Office; Simon slope had been
chiefly instrumental in securing the type
and paper; and Simon slope had written
the most brilliant of the editorials and
the most pungent Of the paragraphs; and
vet Won VIII be surprised 10 learn. my
reader, that Simon slope was only four
teen years of age.
The Snlptown IomD.y.gyl grew out
of a public need The BOYS Of Snap
town had been for years groaning under
parental oppression and the systematic
tyranny OF their elders, and they needed
an organ. They needed q mouthpiece
through which they might lit mp their
voices against their opprcSsors. When a
months halt-hohdays had been taken
away from them, because they had mere
| IL driven "a cow into the village school
house and put cayenne pepper upon the
meeting house stove, they felt that the
time had come when they should make
their wrongs known to the public and
appeal TO that sense Of justice that Is
supposed 20 slumber in the heart OF every
community.
One day the Snaptown Couraat had
published paragraph rejecting unkindly
upon the boys OF the place, and Simon
Slope mad read it. He could hardly con-
tain himself with indignation as the
words sank into his heart; as soon ash his
father had turned his back he rolled the
scurrilous sheet into ball, and, thrust
ing it into his trowsers pocket, rushed
out of the house 10 a warm corner by the
Westinghouse horse-sheds, where the boys
were wont to assemble for the twilight
loafng.
Look here he shouted. Il say,
this is too bad. Nobody is going to
stand this sort of thing" And he pulled
the rumpled paper from among the tops,
| Jack -knifes, fishing tackle, and chewing
gum in his pocket Now, YOU fellows,
Just listen, an III read YOU something
thatll make your hair fairly stand on
end. Here It's. - And he read aloud
the following paragraph:
..IIsCHIEvOUs BOYs.-When we con
slider the doings OF the boys Of this town
we feel such a sense OF indignation that
We feel that we should like to exchange
our editorial pen for 4 good thick birch
rod and give them n thraShing all round
We have heard a good many complaints
Of their behavior, but we did not fully
realize the prevailing spirit OF mischief
until IL came home TO our own door We
did not mind their playing ball before ouI
Office till PandemOnium would be quiet iu
comparison 10 the street. We did not
heed, or, AT least pretended not TO heed
the hieroglyphics with which our garden
fence had been decorated. We should
have felt quite lost if an occasional pane
had not been broken in our otiice-windows.
And We looked upon the hanging of dead
cat 10 our front door as a harmless pleas
antry But when it comes to stretching
wire across the sidewalk at such heights
that we alternately abrade our shins and
cut our throats aS we 20 home at night
when Il comes to putting loaded sticks
into our wood-pile Zone of which blew up
our Office stove a few weeks sgO), we feel