Litchfield enquirer., 1879-03-20

| back to POkuS tonight, an l wouldn't go back with lem if there was. We must keep an eye on lem till we can see the doctor to- morrow
 'I suppose we must, said I, but this don't seem jus as much like bridal-trip as It did while ago..
 '' You're right there,' say Jone
 'When the conductor came along we had to pay the fare of them two lunertics besides our own, for neither of 'em had a cent about lem, When we got to town we went to 8 smallish hotel, near the ferry, where Jone knowed the man who kep it,, who wouldn't bother about none of us havin' scrap of bag gage, knowin' he'd git his money all the same out of either Jone or his father. The General an his sister looked klnd o'funny in their little straw hats an green carpet slippers, an the clerk didn't know whether he hadn't for got how to read writin' when the big man put down the names of General Tom Thumb and Mrs. ex-President Andrew Jackson, which he wasn't ex-President anyway bein' dead but Jone he whispered they was travlin' under nommys dess plummys q told him te say that), an he would fix it all right in the mor- nin'. An then we got some supper, which it took them two lunertics long time to eat, for they was all the time forgettin' what par ticular kind O business they was about, an then we was showed to our rooms. They had two rooms right across the hall from ours. l Ne Hduu Uc0i luSlQS our room i've minutes before Mrs. General Jackson come a-knockin' at the door,
 " Look a-here," she says to me, ther's unforeseen contingency in my room. An it smell.
 ''So went right in, an sure enough it did smell, for she had turned on all the gases, be- sides the one that was lighted
 (" What did you do that for !? says I, a-turn- in them off as fast as l could.
 ;lzof f,1 ,ho44 d. fa. says she, if they isn't to be turned on
 'When told Jone about this he looked real serious, an jus then a waiter came up- stairs an went into the big mans room. In minute he come out an says to Jone an me a-grinnin':
 "'We can't suit him no better in thls house.
 What does he want :? asks Jone.
 "'Why, he wants smaller bed,' says the waiter. He says he can't sleep in a bed as big as that, an we haven't none smaller in this house, which he couldn't get into if we had in my opinion, says he.
 " All right, says Jone. Jus you go down. stairs, an I'll fix him. So the man goes of, still a-grinnin'. I tell you what it s,' says Jone, it wont do to let them two lunertics have rooms to themselves. They'll set this house afire or turn it upside down in the mid dle of the night, if they has. There's nuthin | " WO- man an to keep 'em from cuttin' up till morn- | in''
 ''So Jone he went into the room where General Tom Thumb was a-settin' with his hat on, a-loekin' doleful at the bed, an says he:
 "'What's the matter with the bed ?
 :" Oh, it's too large entirely says the Gen. eral. It wouldn't do for me to sleep in bed like that. It would ruin my character as a genuine Thumb.
 Well. says Jone, its nearly two times I too big for you, but If you an me was both to sleep in it, it would be about right, wouldn't it?'
 "'Oh yes, says the General An he takes oil his hat. an Jone says good night to me an shuts the door. Our room was better than Mrs. General Jackson's so I takes her in there, an the fust thing she does is to turn on all the gases.
 ' Stop that 7 I holers. If you do that again, n,-Pll--I'll break the United States Bank to-morrow!
 |" How'll you do that ? says she.
 .' I'll draw out all my capital says 1.
 " I hope really you wont,' says she, till I've been ther, an she leans ont of the open Wnder to look into the street, but while she was a-lookin' out I see her left hand a-creepin' up to the gas by the winder, that wasn't light ed. felt mad enough to take her by the feet an pitch her out, as you an the bsarder" said Pomona, turning to me. ''h'isted me out of the canal-boat winder But didn't do it, for there wasn't no soft water underneath for her to fall into. After we went to bed I kep' awake for long time, ben afraid she'd get up in the night an turn on all the gases and smother me alive. But fell asleep at last, an when 1 woke up, early in the mornin', the first thing did was to feel for that lunertic But she was gone !''
 give one jump out of bed and felt the gases, but they was all right. But she was gone, an her close was gone. 1 dressed, as pale as death, do expect an hurried to Jone's | room, an he an me an the big man was all ready in no time to go an look for her. General Tom Thumb didn't seem very anxious, but we made him hurry up an come along with us. We couldn't afford to leave him mo- l where's. The clerk downs -stairs-a different one from the chap who was there the night before-said that midde-aged, elderly lady came down about an hour before an asked him to tell her the way to the United States Bank, an when he told her he didn't know of any slch bank, she jus stared at him, an wanted to know what he was put there for. So he didn't have no more to say to her, an she went out an he didn't take no notice which way she went. We had about the same idea about him that Mrs. Jackson had but we didn't stop to tell him so. We hunted up an down the streets for an hour or more; we asked every policeman we met if he'd seen her; we went to pollce station; we did everything we could think of. but no Mrs. Jackson turned up. Then we was so tired an hungry that we went into some place or other an got our breakfast When we started out agn, we kep on up one street an down another an askin everybody who looked as if they had two grains of sense, which most of 'em didn't look as If they had morn one, an that was in use to getem to where they was gOin. At last. little ways down small street, we seed crowd, an the minute we see it Jone an me both said in our inside hearts: There she is' An sure enough, when we got there, whe should we see, with ring of street-loafers an boys around her, but Mrs. Andrew Jackson. with her little straw hat an her green carpet slippers, a-dancin some kind of a skippin fandango. an a-heldin out her skirts with the tips of her fingers. was jus agoin to rush in an grab her when a man walks quick into the ring and touches her on the shoulder. The minute 1 seed him 1 knswed him. It was our old boarder !"
 Il didn't want him to see me there in sich company, an he most likely knowin was on my bridal-trip, an so 1 made dive at my bonnet to see if l had a vail on ; an findin one 1 hauled it down.
 Madam, says the boarder, very respectful, to Mrs. Jackson, where do you live? Cant l take you home? No, sir, says she. at least not now. If you have a carriage, you may come for me ;.fter while am waiting for the Bank of the United States to open, an until which time 1 must support myself on the light fantastic toe, an then she tux up her skirts, an begun to dance agn. But she didn't make morn two skips before I rushed in an takin her by the arm hauled her out the ring. An then up comes the big man with his face as red as fire. Look hereI' says he to her as if he was ready to eat her up Did you draw every cent of that money?' Not yet, net yet, says she You did, you purse proud cantalope, says he. You know very we'll you did, an now I'd like to know where my ox-money is to came from. But Jone an me didn't intend to wait for no sich talk as this an he tux the man by the arm, and tuk the old woman, an we jus walked 'em off. The boarder he told the loafers to get out an go heme an none of 'eln follered us, for they know'd if they did he'd batted 'em over the head. But he comes up alongside me, an I