Mexico weekly ledger., 1879-11-27
THANKSGIVING TURKEY.
How 10 Carve the AnirnaI.

An nouf passed on--thc turkey woke,
That bright dream was his last;
He WOKE to die, mid Gre and smoke,
Mid bssting spoons and esrysr's stroke,
And bright blades flashing fast.
- Unknown F:end.
To-day is, Thanksgiving day. Ey-
erybody should give thanks-if for
nothing else, that you are not ON the
Poor farm, where yoa;belong. L
Some of us will give special thanks
for different things. Z
Col. Reddington will give thanks
that he is running a newspaper; Jno.
Roseberry will give thanks because
he is not. r. 10. ssl'
walker Kilgore-convicted Of
m,rdsr-gives thanks for his new
lea 20 on life. 81
The good man. of which we read,
gives thanks that death, which has no
sting, aid the grave, which has NO
victory over him, draws nigh.
One man gives thanks that ne has a
wife another that he has but the one /;
and still another because he has none.
The rich man don't give thanks for
his turkey, with oyster dressing the
poor man does for his side-meat and
corn bread.
Neil Keeton, of the Press, gives
thanks that he has infinite powers of
digestion, and that the place where
his brains ought to be is now gaping
for a square meal.
Duncan, also Of the Press, gives
thanks for nothing; he don't feel
thankful; he is sick the greenbackcrs
don't pay him 20 per cent.
john Hutton and Bob White
what of them? Well, we are a
couple of the happiest covies in the
State. We give thanks because we
r the best looking men in Missouri
regular iady-killers / (My, but
won't l give thanks if Mrs. w. don't
broom-stick me for this,2) WhIte's
brains is in his feet the Colonel's
in his eye.
We are thankful that we are long
and hungry-when we catch cold in
our feet it is four years before it gets
to our head.
The Colonel is thankful because he
has small feet 4; he will run well for,
otfice-when the public is asleep.
And last, but not least, comes Alb
our beautiful Alb. with golden hair
who returns thanks to Father Tice
for not letting the stars fall-fOr Alb.
has cen stars (?) before.
After we have all given thanks
because it is all we have to give in
exchange for our dinner-we will
proceed to carve the fowl.
No matter whether it be turkey,
duck or ''spring" chicken, with steel
gaffs, just 50 it has wings, u rules
for carving will apply Just the same
You can buy your fowl, @ get it in
the usual manner; you can raise it on
your own farm, or "raise" it off some
of your neighbors' roosts. Cook
your fowl then stuffit with oysters
OF, if your limited e won't al
low oysters, use oyster-cans. Spike
the animal to a plank with 2 good
size crOw-bar and carve with a buck
saw. If you have company, carve the
70 wi 80 the family gets the meat and
the company the bones, especially if
the minister or editor is your compa-
ny-they can live on spiritual food.
Some men spit on their hands before
taking up the carving weapons. You
might as well spit on the fowl, il
would pay you better, for then you
would get the whole bird. Nearly all
fowls have sixty bones ; we have seen
some turkeys that had more bones
than meat.
II you strike the right joint the
work is done-the animal looks like
a barn"door struck by lightning.
The man vino resorts to an x to
carve the dead bird should be arrest
ed for cruelty to animals, for he is
guilty Oh DEutt tOFC5.
You should not get of your base,
but approach the bird kindly and
with no feelings of malice. The ten
der spot of a rhinoceros is under the
left fore leg /; this is not the case with
a chicken. Anguish sometimes fills
the breast of a human being, conceit
fills the breast of the carver, but it is
stufing that fills the breasts offowls,
and if rightly prepared it will not
obstruct the free use OF the knife any
more than so much saw-dust would.
Having thrust the knifsin below the
breast-bone, seize the left Ley in your
left hand, give g pull and = sert q!
agitated yank At the same moment,
and the starboard bulwarks of the
fowl ought to fall over right in a
body, leaving the carver to simply
divide up the sections in convenient
pieces. This ought to happen. lfit
does not, the saw and hateiiet can be
used, or the fowl can be blown up
with small but effective cartridges of
giant powder. The family which
prefers oysters to fowl for Thanks
giving dinner in not only level-head-
ed, but will need no carver and have
no reasons why darkness should set
tie down over 8 table upside down,
and a family fight going on in every
room in the house,
- We
"Etalee."
At the Opera House, Tuesday