Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-05-03
A COUNTRY MERCHANT~S TRIALS.

n COUNTRY MERCHANT"S TRIALS
"What's butter?" she exclaimed in q shril
voice Il mean good butter, none OF your nasty
hair streaked stuff, but number one gilt-edget
creamery. III for General Grant or Henry Ward
Beechef or''-heIe she paused TO see why tlal
''pesky man didn't bring it in" During the
pause the proprietor. whom long years of ex
perlence had made shy of elderly irOn-clad fe
males, edged out and suddenly remembering
that something needed fixing In the stOre-rOom
sent his clerk. an oily tonguad youth to the
tender mercies OF the butter-maker By the
time the change was effected the weaker hall
appeared bearing tirkin Of aromatic some
thlhS mat caused the clerk to think of "Araby
tie best"
''Set it right there, jonathan, so that the
boss can look at It, though don't presume he'll
care about examining anything that bring"
"iieavens, no. calculated the clerk in an un.
dertoLe, "a smell is enough"
where's the old man." now broke from the
Cid lady, who perceived for the first time the
metamorphoSis 81 want to deal with men, not
with boys who don't know good butter from a
tub of lard; trOt out your boss, bub, ii you want
TO truck with cur family
'The proprietor is engaged-"
" doa't care If he's married, 1 guess he can
tend to hrSt-claSS customers"
But, madam. you did not allow me to finish.
the proprietor is engaged in watching at the
bedside OF d, ing Child to which he was sum-
moned few minutes since"
Heaven b eSS that by" murmured the
"RoSS," from his position at the keynote Of the
store-r0om door, s'heaven bless hun, he will be-
an honor to Inc before he leaves my roof"
4" Dung man II what you say Is true and yol
seem too young for a deliberate liar, I'll try AMI
get along with you; now just tell me what you
the flrkin''
The young man nerved himself, lifted the
cover, and beheld mass OF streaked stuff In
partial state Of decomposition.
can give you"
ne fifty or sixty cents pound, for nv neigh
bors know that never asked over thirty cents,
even II could have got thirty five In Chicago;
and shan't ask you any more so If you want
IL Tor thirty cents take it along, and sling down
some prints for me to examine"
Really, madam, don't believe we could
give thirty cents: the market Is fat on butter"
But they don't get such butter as that every
"That's so, madam, neither do we; and they
don't know down there how to appreciate such
butter when they do get it."
Wen, what can you give me, twenty -four
cents?'
"No, ma'aIn; owing to the unusually crowded
state OF tie market the large quantity Of oleo
OF the hog market, aud the poor prospects of an
Eastern war; (''1'n advance his wages, 'smur-
INJURED the old many 81 can offer You but five
cents per pound, and you throw in the firkin."
Flee cents pound and me gius you the jfrkin!
Young Teller wouldn't sell you the f1rkin for
that. you peak-headed ape, you had better go
pug-nosed, thick Tipped fool, you, you-Jotham
bring that butter here this DltnniU and don't
stand there with your mouth open from ear to
ear, nearing your own lawful wife abused by
this white livered, counterjumper, who don't
know how to treat a lady who Is respectfully
connected and whose only fault is being too
willing to stand everything before saying any
thing" lothian patiently lifted the flrkfn and
started for the door, when the old lady, seeing
that the clerk didn't act as though he intended
TO try to stop her, spoke In milder tone.
A., see here, my youthful, maybe your mother
brought up right, and, come to look at you
again, believe 1 hare seen peakeder heads
than yorrn, so don't feel angry and I'll throw
cents. What do you say?"
Madam, you are in error as regards my ma
terna! ancestor; she Is living at the advanced
that IneVer suffered from bringing up;' she
atocays brought me up, sometimes very sud-
denly. With reference to the cone-like shape
OF my II neaa assure you was caused by the
lifted me, and the central portion OF the top
part part of.my Uranium being more liable to dlsten-
"Oh, you little fool, don't stand there length
en1ng your barn-doOr OF mouth with your
long-winded abuse OF Lady whose shoes you
Amt worthy to take or"
ga feat don't care to try" said the tho
roughly aroused clerk.
"What's that you are saying about my feet?
II it wasn't for the law I'd let you feel the moral
with a knock kneed tadpole like you. Jotham,
jerk that butter out just as soon as you can"
And lothian staggered out bearing his odorifer.
GUS burden, while the old lady with many q
snort and jerk followed.
AS soon as the merchant saw that the danger
was over, he emerged from the store-rOom hur-
riedly, shaking the clerks hand, he exclaimed:
"Holy Moses, but you are brick. l would
have had to give into that old vampire and
taken her butter noeps uotens. I'll double your
salary, and you can come and see my daughter
any time; yes, so now, marry her II you want
to; a man that can get rid of an old woman who
is determined to sell q firkin Of such stun can
marry my mOther-in-law, IL he wants to. Now
60" And the young man went.-(Noah's Neu
York Sunday Times.