The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-12-11
VARIETIES.

VARIETIES.
Spirit Of the press-Cider.
"A braided coat is bound to look
well.
An Indian agent-The tomahawk.
Boston Post.
"A hot discussion frequently makes
a cool friendship"
People of no account never run in
debt.-CSneinnati Commercial.
"A London secondhand dealer ad-
vertises for cast-off artificial teeth.
Next to wife the easiest thing for
a poor man to get is to get in debt.
"A postal card is q feminine thing.
1t can't keep secret--Cincinnats Ga
zette.
Many men become round-shoul-
dered by carrying trouble.-N. ?. Es-
press. -g
Fifteen thousand dollars has been
collected for the children of the late
General Hood.
One of the most popular organiza-
tions among working people is the
"Corset Pressers' Association" at New
Haven. Everybody wants to join.
-Lady-"How old are you, little
boyP'' Little Darkey-"Well, if you
goes by wot mudder says, rs six; but if
you goes by the fun rs had rs most q
hundred"
sWhy," the boy asked, "do you
blow down the muzzle of your gunP"
ITO see," replied the man, If it is"
And Just then he discovered that it was.
-Ras0k-Eye.
"A Mianus (Pa.) minister, while
marrying a couple recently, was rather
disconnected ON asking the bridegroom
if he was willing to take the young lady
for his welded wife by his scratching
his head and saying: Yes, I'm will
ing; but I'd q much sight rather have
her sister,"
"A New Yorker was robbed the
other day of $2S, 900 in broad daylight,
and he didn't discover the theft until
few hours afterward. We should like
to see anyone rob us of $28, 600 in
broad daylight-or in narrow nightlight
either. 1t can't be done.-NorristosO
Herald.
The subject for conversation at an
evening entertainment was the inteli-
Says Smith, =. There are dogs that have
more sense than their masters" "Just
so," responds young Fitznoodle, "Tve
got that kind Of dog myself"
Did you ever notice that there is
weeping of your own baby, God bless
thing fiendishly discordant in the
young onep How is that. any how,
that It always is that way Eye.
Gen. James Harding, Railroad
Commissioner of Missouri, is doing his
work in q novel manner. He is now
on 200-mile walk over the railroads
of Northwest Missouri, inspecting the
condition of the roadbeds, rails, ties
and bridges. The work, he claims,
or from car platform.
An Indiana man has for several
years believed himself to be q dog.
Usually, when you hint in the most
delicate manner that man is q cur, he
is mad in q minute. What a relief it
must be to meet a man who will accept
as q high compliment language that
would put another mans tongue, fists
and feet into dangerous activity
Boston Transcript.
LOU uuSt duu1lb LLdt tuc
proof against you is overwhelming"
Thief" Your Honor, do not perceive
it in those lamps. The witnesses were
away the stolen articles where they
could not be found by the police. I
should think that under the circum-
stances 1 am perfectly innocent."-
GGlvestoD Nes0s.
- n
leans has invented q lovers alarm
sensible hour of ten. As it sounds, two
dressing-gown and cap glides out hold
ing in his hand q card inscribed /" Good
night" As he bows and smilingly re-
tires the suitor takes the hint, says
't Goodnight" and then departs.
send fifty francs to my son; how much'n
Caller" There you are" CGives him
ten sous.1 Postmaster-"Hi there,
but where is the fifty francs?' Caller
-" What, have got to give you the
fifty francs, too? don't see what saw
ing there is in this money-order busi-
ness. ."-PdTis Figaro.
Thrrsdsv M Old rhrrna s.v..
Nvm, A., :. TSn-.i.H :.
Nindv W;uter ten =. .hsii 49, &c
Windy weather In each week,
And hard tempests strong and thick;
The summer shall be good and dry,
.e 1esr 1nG Geasss = Snod s1a@ fol Iands t I'm
Kings and princes shall die By skill;
II child born that day shall be,
1t shall happen right we'll for he;
OF deeds he shall be QOOd and stable