Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1879-01-09
Numerous.

It's a good artist who can draw pay
Lynn Reporter. -....tr.. .
Bees wax wroth before they sting
Neio Orleans Picayatne ..al ~
notwithstanding the sculptor
Boston Bulletin. r - .--7 .e.sa
Winter is the season best suited to
freeze speech.-Ne,U York Nail. F
Mary had a little lamb. 1t was roast
ed, and she wanted more.-Ne10 Orleans
Picayune. IA ro -a,df ar~-#nf' mi.
The Albany Journal speaks Of a
couple of tramps with hearts that dead
beat as one.
This is a good time for bashful young
men and maidens to break the ice
NetU York Commercial Adyertiser.
Clocks on ladies' stockings cause
feeble-minded gentleman to watch
them. -B0ston transcript. +. a..~..
If two inhabitants of Portugal are
called Portuguese, would it be proper to
allude to one of them as Portuguese
Utica Observer. NJ ... .....r- .-r...
In some parts ofEurope the minister
I of the parish acts in the capacity of a
dentist-a cure for toothache, as il
were.- 0iacinpati Saturday Night. J. I
You may break, you may shatter the
hive if you will, but if you get off with,
out a puncture Or two you'll be thund.
erin lucky Yo'akers Gazette. .jL
I'll every man is the architect o.
his own fortune" the most of them had
hnE Oh ,,1o,, n nj 90 r.
saving owood.-BjnghanatOn Republican,
A mules head does not contain a
brain capable Of culture and refined
rearing, but it is wonderful to what an
extent the other end of him can be
reared. -New York Mad Sc all --z
Unmarried men can't appreciate the
feelings of q fellow whose wife sends
him to get something out of the pocket
of the dress that's hanging up in the
closet.-Lypan Reporter. ss.---..t alb .o;
A charming young thing at a New
York school examination, in reading,
her exercises before large audience
of parents, changed Keats line, "a
thing of beautyis boy foreyer!"
The human race is. less liable to be
won in canter than lost in decanter.
Now we expect half'of the population
will rise to point of ORDER and order
us to bottle up.-NeaO York NeaUs. .,..a-
A bray sing air-The voice of th don
key. We presume the caves of the
ocean are mostly salt rheum. > When
you come to a guide-board that is ille-
gible, that is ga bad sign. Boston Com
mercidI Bulletin. a."sl ga,1--.r- -
One of the most delicate bits of
humor in the Bible, is Hosea's descrip-
ton of Ephraim as "a cake not turn
ed" The prophet didn't want to hurt
Ephraim's feelings by calling him
halfbaked. "-Nei0 Hdyen Register
1.-TWO mouths with buta single stew,
two spoons that dip as one" as the
young man remarked to his dearly
beloved after giving his economical
order of one stew, two spoons. !
We no longer question the propriety
of considering vessels in the feminine
gender. They run each other down al
most every day in the English Channel.
Turner's Falls Reporter.
"Silas! wharfo dye s'pose de sheferds
of de olden times washed dere frocks IN
de -ni'time?p Is yer sho dey did,
Mosen " Why, corset dom de Samis'
say SOP" well, denI guess mus. er
been cause dere was only one frock
apiece an dey didn' wantto be too con-
spikerous while dey was a washin'i OBJ
it. y Yo1aker's Gazette. 8 p
An old coiored preacher IN Atlanta,
Ga, was lecturing youth of his fold
about the sin of dancing, when the lat
ter protested that the Bible plainly SAID.
There's time to dance BE Yes; dar
am time toadance.p said the dark. adi-
nine; "and it's when boy gets whip
pin for gwine to a ball" -
First Small Boy Hulle, Jim! I've
got a two-bladed knife and a book full
O. picters." Second Sc "Poohl That's
nothing. I've got a four-blader and two
books and bully sled and a pair o
skates and" First S. Be- Look a.
here, you Jim Smikins, my pa can lick
your pa, and, durn We, can lick you.
Yer'd better don't be BLOWN round me,
ole Teller" Boston Transcript.
A lady in Lima, n. Y, who lately ac-