Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1879-09-04

The man who dreamt he dwelt in mar
BILE halls woke up to find the bed-clothes
had tumbled off.
1t is noticeable fact that every man
who has seen the sea-serpent states that
its head is the size of beer-cask.
The Detroit Free Press tells of a paper
that steals most of its matter from the
Bible. This will make the inspired wri-
ters hop.
A sable citizen made bet that he could
eat fifty watermelons in fifty hours. He
stalled on the thirty-seVenth. They in
scribed on his coffin ''Aet 81"
The voice of the young man who got
away with three hundred and ninety-six
CLAIMS at clambake is heard in the land,
and it calls for the doctor.
Punster Pelby says he wishes puns
were translatable. He'd go to Paris if
they were and and start a paper just to
publish his stock of puns. Pelby hates
the French.-Boston Transcript.
Sunday School teacher: 'EYou must
recollect that all 1 am telling you hap
pened one thousand eight hundred and
| seventy-nine years ago.' Pupil: ''Lor'
miss, how the time do slip away!''
''No, SIR" said the gentleman from
Pittsburgh, 81 was not in the war, but my
brother was, and he was wounded. - "Ah
| indeed. Seriously wounded ?" eyes,
sir; he was shot in the horse.'
Customer-FFWhat did you think of the
Bishops sermon on Sunday, Mr.. Wigs
by ?'' Hairdresser-'EW Well, really, sir,
there was gent a sittin' in front O me
as 'ad his air parted that crooked that
couldn't ear word -
Scene, a sanctum. Enter the exchange
fiend.-''Ah, thought I'd drop in to look
over your exchanges Editor to devil
Thomas, get Mr.. Limberiaw the Mem
phis appeal and AUdIdRche." Exit fiend.-
Boston Journal Of Commerce.
A farmer writes 81 saw in paper
that western farmer planted flax with
potatoes, and it kept the bugs off. plant
ed fax with potatoes, and the flax came
mp first, and the bugs roasted on it, wait
ing for the potatoes to come up"
A word to the wise is sufficient. A min
lister made an interminable call upon
lady of his acquaintance. Her little
daughter, who was present, grew weary
of his conversation, and whispered in al
audible tone, ''Didn't he bring his amer
with him, mammal"
SIT is among the nineties," casually
remarked a gentleman the other day
wiping his brow. 1t so happened that
time. ''You insulting thingl" she ex
claimed; it's no such thing.' And up t,
this writing he doesen't know what sh'
meant.
A Washington young lady of the ma
ture age ofsix, after the story of the crea
ton and the fall had been related, anC
the young lady had been meditating fol
some time on the moral of it, suddenly
broke out with: "Aunty, after Adam
and Eve disobeyed God, why didn't H,
kill 'em and begin over again?''
The colored debating club among tn
hands upon the plantation of Mr.. A. M
Griffin, in Lee county, Ca, had as tn
subject of their last debate: (Which ar
of the most benefit to the country, tn
lawyers or the buzzar(ls?' After mucl
wrangling and animated discussion, the,
finally decided in favor of the buzzards.
Small girl, very harshly, to her doll il
a toy carriage, dolly having tumbleC
from the seat: 'fSit right up, you horrit
old thing. Don't you dare do that again
or I'll whip yOu." Seeing passer, VIII
had approached unObserved, she modified
her voice and continued in dulcet tones
, ''Now, sit up straight, darling, and b
careful not to fall and hurt YOURSELF