The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-04-02
GRASSHOPPERS IN HIS STOMACH
A Nebraska Relief Agent Meets with
aSympathizer.
From the Omaha Herald.

He was from the lower Platte valley.
He had eaten nothing but grasshoppers
since the 4th Of July, 1874, and his stom-
ach was in an awful condition-it was
full of grasshoppers He could feel them
jumping about and trying to find their
way out, but their toe-nails scratched his
alimentary canal, and a spasmodic move
ment Of the muscles of his thoraxc forced
them back into the cavity before they
reached the root of his tongue. He had
left wife and nine famlshed children at
home and had gone to Omaha to collect
funds to save his neighbors from starva-
ton. He had not been successful-perhaps
because his ''credentials" were not strong
enough. And now, if the barkeeper
would accommodate him with spoon
full of whisky-it was the only thing
that would keep the grasshoppers quiet
in his stomach, it kinder stupefied them
and caused them to lie dormant for sever
al hours, but as soon as they sobered up
they became as lively as crickets, and
played leapfrog in the pit of his stomach.
He had killed good many of them with
whisky, but their eggs were all
II e time batching, and he relieved there
we're at least 10000 live ones occupying
the space designed by nature for the
Laboratory of bread and meat and such
things. He had no money, but if the bar
keeper would trust him for few drops
of crowfoot, he would remunerate hin,
outsof his first collection for the sufferers
BY adding little peppermint and few
grains OF sugar to the liquor, the medicine
would be made more potent; or if there
was no peppermint convenient, drop oil
ginger would do as we'll.
The barkeeper deeply sympathized
with the grasshopper- stricken people OF
Nebraska. He pitied any man who had
grasshoppers in his stomach. If whisky
and peppermint, and ginger, or anything
else his bar afforded, would relieve him
he was welcome to partake. lie could
not accept thanks for so small favor
was only sorry he didn't have whisky and
peppermint enough to destroy all the
grasshoppers in Nebraska.
The barkeeper poured two tablespoon.
fuls of the essence of Jamaica ginger into
tumbler, added an equal quantity 81
pepper-sauce, shook in thimbletul o.
Cayenne pepper, emptied e small vial Of
sulphuric scid on top, and then sprinkleo
few drops of tanglefoot over the mix
ture, and handed the *ambler to the
Nebraskian, told him to ''swallow i
quick" The grasshopper-plaguec
stranger waited for no second invitation
but poured the decoction down his throa
at one feia swallow.
allow do you like it2" asked the bar
keeper. ......
Thegresshopperea Individual made n<
reply. Els eyes rolled in their sockets
and the tears ran out of them in streams
His mouth was open wide enough tx
swallow the barkeeper and all his ocean
tiers. He placed both hands over hi,
stomach and cast an imploring glance
toward the water-piteher.
'sDo you feel 'em crawl2" said the bar
keeper,'in the anxious tone of sick
/ nurse.
The stranger made no reply, but con-
tinued to press his stomach and waite,
the floor with his tears.
''Take some of this horse radish," said
1 the barkeeper; lit will do you good"
The stranger still! made no reply, but
] gradually his mouth grew smaller, ans
| his lips contracted, and the air rushed in.
; to his throat with whistling sound, like
. the winter wind through broken win.
dow pane. At length the barkeeper took
compassion upon his writhing custome.
and gave him glass Office water to COO
his throat When the stranger was able
to speak be looked responsibility at the
@'medicine man." and said:
"See here, stranger, ifths+'s the kind
OF stuff yor give a man for grasshoppers
l like to.know what in hell you'd give 6
Teller it. he had tape-wormS"