Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1879-09-04
FUNNYGRAPHs.
A COLD spell-I.c.e.

- N'i.b
WHTTE-wAsHERs--Good laundresses.
RICH miner-I did not know it was
loded.-Netg York Herald.
READY.MADE-The young lady wait
ing for an offer.
MuzzLING neckties are much worn in
the dog dsys.-Neao Orleans Pioayune.
NO tenor singer should live in glass
house. He throws tones.-Atlanta Con-
stitution.
WHITE sand can be obtained at the
sesshore, but if you want your Sand.
dusky you must so to Ohio.
DoN'T be ambitious to drive fourth.
hand. Life, you know, is but a span.-
Cincinnati Saturday Night.
"HAvE you mother-in.ls wr" asked
a man of a disconsolate looking person.
No" he replied, "but I've father in
Jail"
LITTLE things are often important.
What would a forty.cent cigar amount
to if you had no match 9-Neo York
Star.
BRASS is an alloy of copper, though
many man shows plentiful supply of
brass with never copper in his pocket.
Boston Transcript.
A TRAMP applied to physician for
work. The M. ID. asked, " / can't give
you any work; what can you do9"
Dig graves" was the grim reply.
LEMONS alone paid 5000 duty into
the United States treasury last year.
That the kind of lemon aid the govern
ment finances get.
Tue man who got into barber chair,
pinned the newspaper round his neck
and began to read the towel may Justly
be called absen. -m,ndeo.
SUNDAY school teacher: "You must
recollect that all am telling you hap
pened one thousand eight hundred and
seyenty-nine years ago." Pupil
" Lor', miss, how the time do slip away!"
IT is said that nothing succeeds like
success. Just put a boy in conjunction
with a ripe watermelon, and il he don't
suck seed more than success we miss our
guess.-Marathon hdpenasnt
AN editor being asked DO hogs pay?'
says q great many does not. They take
the paper several years and then have
the postmaster send it back marked
refused. - Boston Post.
The bee is an arrant coward. He
always turns his back to the foe. - Boston
Transcript. A mule does the same thing,
but man daren't stand at his back and
tell him he'sa coward.--M City Derrick.
UPRIGHT Legislator" What, sirl
You take me for one who can be bribed?
You insult my sense of honor. But in
case | really was such man, how much
would you give?"
THE New York Express complains of
the thickness of last years ice crop, but
out this way they can hammer up
enough 10 fill lemonade glass four
fflhs of the way up in about three sec
onds.
"WHAT does limo meanT' asked a
pupil u E,r teacher, a few days since.
"l2mo7 Why, don't you know what
that means? 1t means the same AZ d&
weowly. Haven't you seen it in adver-
tisements in newspaper? --Osaoego
Times.
A GENTLEMAN learned in the origin
of social customs was asked the meaning
of casting an old shoe after newly
married couple, rs they start on their
trip. He said: "To indicate that the
chances of mstrimony are very slip
perry"
A SUPPLEMENTED country woman ap-
piled at one of the stations on Scotch
line for ticket for Glasgow. Said the
spruce clerk, Return or single2"
g Ma, ma" replied the worthy woman,
"nane o yer singles here. Pm a mar
ried woman"
REFLECTIONS of practical man: We
are going to have bad year. ! must
undergo come hardships and make some
sacrifices. First: / will lower my ser
wants wages. Second | will give no
more tips to the walters at my club.
Third: will get invited out to dinner
as often as possible. "-Paris Figoro.
A CHICAGO man who is travelling in
France stood the hotel bills so long as
the only items when he rang for tum
bier of ice water were as follows:
10 one ...."-.............."....l IT. Que
or.....,........,.. Ioc
ice........o......., .................-2r II. 0Qc
water.......,...., .,.....,,......,.l Ir. Ioc
Lo, the poor printer, sitting on his
stool, dissembleth siyly with his stick
and rule--sogers all earnestly DER this
and that, with one eye peeled upon the
hook for fat; or, waiting for copy, DER