davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03
For the Snlurnd Times.
AN ANECDOTE.

student of Oxford. once got out of sorts.
have read the account in the College reports,
He called on doctor and told him his tale,
And the doctor advised him to drink some good ale.
With such prescription he'd no wish to quarrel,
And so to have plenty he just bought barrel:
To his room he then quietly smuggled his prize,
And carefully hid it away from all eyes;
The medicine was good and it made him feel prime
So he frequently took it, regardless of time
In this way the last of his ale was soon reached,
And to make matters worse, he himselfwas mpeached
For a Janitor on a particular round
Got scent of the ale. ard the barrel was found
This thing was contrary to all college rules
Could not be excused in our commOlest schools.
He reported the sinner without loss of time,
For i'll this ancient place twas an unheard of crime
A summons was sent, which the culprit must heed.
But they never supposed excuse he could plead =
He said that the barrel was found as described,
But the ale by his doctor was fairly prescribed.
If that is the case, you must state to this board
Has your system been strengthened or fully restored
He said 81 will leave you to judge in the case,
And hope you will find ME deserving of grace:
When first tried my strength on the barrel, fOunt
Twas beyond me to raise it an inch from the ground
But now can carry it just where please.
And do it, in fact, with the greatest of ease.
Said the chairman, Why this is wonderful case
And although you have broken the rules of the place
Your reasons are good and convinces the board
That they must for this once, full pardon accord
SEC.
SMYRNA Auoust oSth 1879
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

The american AgricuIturia for September is a
number of varied and very attractive interest to both
the husbandman and the housewife. It is hand
somely illustrated.
Smiths Bible Dictionary, and an unabridged Cru.
dens Concordance each to be sold for ST. are recent
announcements of the American Book Exchange, 55
Beekman street, New York,
Beautiful large type elegantly bound editions of
Arabian Nights" and Robinson Crusoe" for SIS cts
each, and of "Bunyan's Pilgrims Progress" and
" Travels of Baron Munchausen, for so cents each,
have just been published by the American Book Ex.
change, So Beekman street, New York.
New editions of Rollins Ancient History" and
the Compile Works of Josephus," both printed in
large, beautiful type and strongly and neatly bound
have just been issued at about one.hird the former
prices, viz: Rollins, S225; Josephus, s. American
Book Exchange, publishers, 55 Beekman street. New
York.
An encyclopedia of universal knowledge in %
volumes, $4,000 pages, all for So and equal in all i'm
portant respects to any cyclopedia heretofore sold r
less than $780, is announced for publication bv the
American Book Exchange. IS Beekman street. New
YORK. They have also just issued an edition OF
Chamberss Cyclopedia Of English Literature In foul
volumes neatly cloth bound for 81 Their catalogu,
several hundred standard publications. at very low
prices, will be sent free on request
The publishers of Ehrch's Fashionable. Quorterl,
are in the field with the new premium list Of thei
magazine; and all that mamma or children (or pap,
either for that matter) need do is to send name ant
address on postal card to Messrs. Enrich & Co. O
| 2S7 Eighth Avenue New York, when copy of tn,
list will be mailed them Free and they can appreciate
for themselves the advantage offered The Fashiol
Quarterly SO exactly fills its place as a guide t
economy in the household and its subscription price
only so cents year, is so very triing, that lttl
difficulty should be experienced in securing subscrp
tions; and we have no doubt that thousands vii
gladly avail themselves of the opportunity at yer
moderate expense of time and trouble
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03
A Man and a Gate and a Woman.

The gates at the passenger depot, which
shut out all people not having tickets for
the trains were yesterday closed at the
Union Depot against an elderly woman
wearing spectacles and using an umbrella
for cane.
"Can't pass without ticket" said the
man at the gate as she came up.
81 want to see if there's anybody on
that train going to Port Huron" she
answered.
"Can't pass without ticket, madam"
"Tve got a darter in Port Huron, l
have"
'"Can't help it, please. My orders are
very strict"
az tell you 1 want to send word to my
darter," she exclaimed, adjusting her spec.
tacles for better view of the official.
eyes, but we can't help that, you see.
Please show your ticket"
al want this ERE railroad to understand
that I've got darter at Port Huron and
she's got q baby four weeks old, and I'm
| going to send her up word in spite of all
the gates in this depotI'
"Please show your ticket, madam"
"I tell you once more"
"Please show your ticket, madam"
She gave the old umbrella q whirl and
brought it down on his head with all the
vim of an old fashioned log raising and al
he staggered aside she passed him anC
said:
"There's my ticket, sir, and I've 60
more behind it | Mebbe one man and 1
gate can stop me from sending word to my
daughter to grease the baby's nose will
mutton taller if the weather changes cold
but l don't believe itw
And she walked down to the train, founC
some one going to Port Huron and cam
back carelessly humming the melody o
"The Three Blind Mice."--Detroit Ere
, Press
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

PHILADELTHIAs ELEVATED RAuROAD-worl, on
the Pennsylyania railroads. new elevated railroad
Whlch Is to bring its trains the very heart of the
CITY, has been begun. The plan necessitates a new
brldge across the Schuykl river 4SO feet in length
ana 90 feet wide built of iron and stone connecting
AZ tne eastern END with the iron treste-work of the
elevated road. 1t is said that eight locomotives
capable OF making the run to New York at the rate
OF mile minnie, are to be built at once.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

WORK OF WoMEN.-On an average it
seems as if the work conducted by women
is about as we'll managed as that done by
men. There may be, occasionally, poor
breakfast or badly ironed shirt; but then,
again, boilers burst, and roofs fall in, and
ships go to the bottom. If closely looked
into, it may appear that the good, solid,
wholesome comforts of three hundred and
sixty-fve days in every year are found very
punctually and pretty cheerfully prepared
in a great many houses.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

Alcoholism there is grave reason to suspect. is
disorder in the South. Temperance missionaries are,
SccdntS needed IN Mississippi particularly if all
&WG1onts are true The high handed proceedings in
worse notorety than the famous Yazoo claims did
many years ago. The most charitable construction 10
PuI upon the phenomenal conduct of the people
mere IS that they are all on STAYING blind" druiik
pliG Record. ''''''''
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

Senator Wade Hampton is reported by the Rich
mQnd STATE as saying to an interviewer that Thurman
the Presidency Hampton's choice was thus an
nounced: Il prefer Bayard prefer him as a man.
ike his principles. The Senator thought that Sher-
nominee.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

The watering places seem all of them to be doing
goGd o ana paying business this year. The old-estab-
have equally shared in this increase of business
Me-nlormed persons are inclined to believe that at
lSast 0O per cent more of citizens are away for
Ile summer thlS season than the case last year
II Is interesting to know these facts says the Balti-
more sun, for the increase of summer travel and
business N eei~A
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

EXTRAORDINARY DEMAND FOR LoCoMorIvEs.-Th
american Ship, New York, says" The fast reviving
prosperity OF the country is fairly indicated by the
large orders for locomotives pressing upon our build
eT from various parts of the country, particularly the
alone wants thirty new engines and the EleYatei
Railway aS many more.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

TABLE ORNAMENT.-Sew coarse flannel around
goblet with the stem broken of, put this shapely
uone upon saucer of water, wet the flannel and
sprinkle over as much flax seed as will adhere to it.
Inc flannel will absorb the water from the saucer
whlch should often be replenshed. In about two
weeks the flannel will be concealed i'm a beautifnI
verdure, which will vie with any table ornament.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

THE GREAT EASTERN.-The steamer Great Edse77l
which has long been lying at Milford England is to
be fitted up with new boilers and machinery at a
cost of $1,000 cattle ship 1t estimated that she
will carry 200 head of cattle and Sc 900 Sheep She
is to trade between London and parts in Texas
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

AN ARKANSAS IDEA.-An intellectual member of the
Arkansas Legislature has introduced bill abbrevia-
ing the season Of Lent from forty to twenty days He
explains that everything else has come down fifty per
cent. since the war; and there should be no dscrni.
nation in favor of Lent.-IimeSJOurRd
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

Those gentlemen who oratorically insist
that the South is growing more solid every
day are wiser prophets than the best of us
ever dreamed. Her crops this year will
amount to 100000 bales of cotton, 100000
hogsheads of sugar and 600,00O,0OO pounds
of tobacco. This is is half million bales oi
cotton more than she has ever raised before
twice as much sugar and 100000 pounds
more of tobacco. This is a kind of solidity
all sensible men desire to boom and tell,
tale of reconstruction which is not only
most gratifying, but also token Of increas
ing prosperity and goodwill.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

A NEW IDEA.-Victor Hugo has got new idea. He
says that in the twentyeth century war, capital
punishment, monarchy dogmas and frontiers would
all disappear There would be for all great country
the earth and one great hope, heaven.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

When Conkling goes home to Utica, and Mrs. C.
with strange light in her eyes and an umbrella stick
in her hand meets him in the front hall he will con-
clude that shotgun is a fool to mad woman.-
MidCtletOlrn Transcript.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

AS yet there is no abatement in the yellow fever
plague at Memphis, Teen. and prospect hope of
any soon. The new cases reported to the board of
health will average about twenty per day and the
death rate is about thirty-three per centum.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

ODD SPORTs.-They had some queer sports at the
Cherry Fair, Stockton-on-Tees. England. There were
matches in eating haSy pudding and penny rolls and
treace. There were smoking and grinning matches
and they dived in feathers for half-crown pieces
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03
WHOLE NO. 1,27O.

CENTIPEDEs DEADLY CLAws.-Several Mexicans
were IN camp at the mouth of Memphis creek T7tah
errltory and We're lying about the fire. when one of
tIenl' 1eiestoro Crucls saw large centpede fully
nlIe ILlIe ihches long travelling slowly over his leg
hnoWlng that the least motion would make it sink its
Geauy claws INTO his skim without moving his leg he
almost reached his knee. when slowly putting the
centipede was gone - F W 'ii0
But But a ce9tiPede's, claws are quicker than Gun
RoWder and Crucas began to cramp in a few minutes
@ g ck oi the reptile along his leg turned brOwnish
ana tnc place where it was killed swelled nm
it,i iGin'luIly' Crucas rapidly grew worse and in a
agony. i0 uieu III great
bnt tne most singular part of the story is that tho
rnSa rom % CrqcaSs pistol cut small nick in the
loTeieS OF mule that tcthered near bv and az
daylight the next morning the mule was also do Gaod a.
| several places. '-' +i"u oulS' III
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

SMYRNA BRANCH TRAINS-Addtional to those
above, leave Smyrna for Clayton 220 and 745 P. N.
Leave Clayton for Smyrna 725, and 11O0 A. NJ, 2.40
and 5.35 p NJ to make connection with trains North
and SOuth) from Clayton.
HF. KENNEY, sup't.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

=, COMING ELEcToNS-The elections to be held dnriro
T ber present se year are as follows In California septem
' ei D ior state ana judicial officers, four Congress
1epeiinDer 8, for State officers and members of the
dSS5islature III Iowa and Ohio October IA for Stale
la,u; ; M9ssachusetts, Minnesota. New York and Wis
esi the GeEG0er for State officers and members Of
November /, for members Of Legisatnre i p3
Dsila November 4, for State treasurer and members
~ ~ tne eglSlature and i'll louisiana December D for
i o "uoPLon or rejection of the proposed constiu-
oo ' A member Of Congress, to fill vacancy will
also also be elected in Iowa, October H. wa
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

Some of the manufacturing establishments of
Chester county Pa, are at present running day and
night. This is certainly indicative of the good times
coming.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

An AZ ELEPHANT KILLED BY AN ELECTRICAL MACHINE
o1dati7a tS n7aIheG elephant Romeo was killed bv an
VI the appurtenanceS of the travelling show was a
acliIle used IN connection with the electric iight
ee Illuminated the exhibition tent 1t consisted of
d luIge magnet and an armature, which were made
70 IeVoIVe 2oO times minute by means of n thirty
nHxe-noIse power. Romeo, being anxious To find ont
what made the wheels 20 round shifted at tbn
oat aanIttte when 1t was in motion. His trunk was
CGugnt III the revolving apparatus and he was thrown
violently to the ground and fatally injured PoDnoo
was valued at S3j 600 ''''''N 'Oineo
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

A floating debt" is one that is over
dew. Other debts are heavy, sink to the
bottom of the purse, and get you under
water.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

1t has been decided that ears must take the place of
grammars when there is question as to the proper
use of that" or - which,"
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

President Hayes and Mrs. Hayes will attend the
opening of the Cincinnati Exposition on September
10. 1t is likely that Gen. Sherman will accompany
the party from Washington.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

New York Era: By their fruit ye shall know
them" That is how we made the discovery that our
first parents were bad pear.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

At FIVE dollars ton the hay crop of the
United states is three times that of cotton
ten times that of wool, and twice that o.
wheat.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

The terrors of the cholera in Japan are
suggested by the report that during twelve
days there were $4,000 cases of the disease
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

Every man, at some time or other, is endowed with
train of thought but alas how few of these trains
are heavily freighted
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

Excellence is never reached on the plan of taking
it easy. What is valuable costs. Cheap things are
commonly worthless.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

Passengers from Delaware Railroad connect at Har-
rington, 1905 noon. with train making connections
with steamers for New York on Tuesdays, thursdays
and Saturdays.
Steamer for Leges leaves Pier 81, North River New
York, at P, NJ, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fri
THOMAS GROOM, supt
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

Somebody pretends to say that mosquitoes viii not
remain in room where oil of pennyroyal is exposed.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

To be happy owe neither the butcher, the baker
nor the printer. Pay as you CO. and you VIII be
better and happier.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03
Phila., Viii. & Bait. r. z.
DELAWARE DIVISION.
SUMMER ARRANGEMENT.
NORTHXARD.
SOUTHWARK

On and after MONDAY, May 10Th, 1872 Sundays
exceptedD trains will leave follows:
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

Macauley "Agitation is good or evil, according a.
the objects of the agitation are good or evil
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

Peach growing is rapidly becoming
prominent among the agricultural interests
of Ohio,
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

Cover jelly with pulverized sugar befor
setting away. No mould.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

uis folly to eat without any appetite or to con-
tnue to cat after it has been satisfied, merely TO
crafty the taste,
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

party of Jewish capitalists propose to build q
large hotel at Cape May. Wonder II they VIII ex'
clude Christians.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

The source of unbelief is immortality.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

An honest reputation is within the reach
of everyone.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

Coney Island hotel has 73O walters who attend to
900 tables; at which $4,000 people can be fed in
day
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

Aman in the finest suit of clothes is often shabs
bier fellow than another dresSedin rags
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

The London money market is stringent owing to
the large and continuous shipments Of gold to New
YORK.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03
]. &B., B. e., And ". RAILROAD.
IS CONNECTION WITH THE
OLD DOMINION STEAMSHIP COMPANY.
SUMMER ARRANGEMENTS.

On and after WEDNESDAY, July 7th, 1879, (Sun-
days excepted.) trains will run as follows:
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03

Over dew-Heayy wet.
Smyrna times., 1879-09-03
Books, Periodicals, &c.

The american Agricuhurist for September is a
number of varied and very attractive interest to both
the husbandman and the housewife It is hand
somely illustrated.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1879-07-05
A HighwaYman,s Head.

Several bands OF highwaymen still
range over Nebraska, Wyoming, Dako-
Ia and Montana, but the most trouble
some one has just been broken up.
This was the Tolles gang, headed by
Frank Tolles, known throughout the
border. The authorities of Wyoming
recently offered $4,000 for the body of
rolles, dead or alive, and few weeks
ago lank farmer galloped into Chey-
enne with the blood-besmeared head of
Tolles dangling from his saddle-bow.
Four of the Tolles party have been
caught and are In prison for life. One
Of them, 1.-The Kid" was iron-cufied
about his legs so tightly during the
trial that his ankles and feet are yet
black. Frank James, Tolles' lieuten-
ant. escaped, and. 1t is said. has or
ganized band I'm the northern coun-
try. James is middle-aged man of
commanding appearance. His should.
ers are as broad as those of two ordlna.
ry men, and his head sits as though
there were no neck-not even for the
hangman's moose. He Is educated and
hightoned. No women or children
ever suffer at his hands, nor do men
unless they happen to have hundred
dollars or so about them. Two char
acteristic stories of him are related.
Once his party stopped couple of
men, one of whom had fine gold
watch. "For Gods sake, my good fell
low, let me keep that; my dead mother
gave me that watch" James looked at
him with a glance which sought to find
a lie at the bottom Of his plea. The
victim stood the scrutiny, and James
handed back the watch without word,
spurred his horse over the prairie and
galloped away. Again, the other day
he hung up poor rancheman near
Fort Mckinney to extort confession
as to the place OF concealment of trea-
sure. The rancheman really knew not,
but James kept him dangling by the
thumbs until he was dead. Some weeks
ago the most notorious outlaw of all In
the "West countree," Middleton, was
sketched In tie papers. Since then he
has met with hair breadth escape.
A few weeks ago he ventured into Sid
ney, Nebraska, with King, one of his
men. A sheriff's posse bore down upon
them. Both sprang upon Middleton's
horse, that of King having been seized.
In the dash for the woods, King, whose
arms were thrown about Middleton's
waist, was shot through the body and
rolled off-dead. Middleton, thus re-
lieved, fired fatal return shot at his
nearest pursuer and got away.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1879-07-05
Niagara Fails storT.

When Bl0ndin came In 1859 he had his
rope stretched about a mile below the
falls, and even there it was 200 feet
long. On both sides of the river inclos
ures were built around the rope, into
which the ticket buyers were admitted,
and where the acrobat had his dressing
rooms. lie was to start on the frat oc-
casion from the Canadian side, and
within the Enclosure there were a num-
Der Of invited guests, among them
Henry w. Faxon, then the local editor
Of the Buffalo Republic. Faxon was a
wit Of more than local renown, and
BlOndin had, for some reason, taken a
great liking to him. While Faxon
stood-laughinR and testing, az was his
wagon the edge Of the precipice over
looking the river 40 feet below, Blon-
din appeared few feet behind. He
was just about 20 attempt the most dar.
ing feat upon tight rope that had ever
been performed, and what took place
will show his iron nerve and reckless
temper. lie saw that Faxon, gazing
out across the river, was unconscious of
his presence. Motioning TO the by
ISLANDERS for silence by pressing his
fingers TO his lips, he seized Faxon IN
der both armpits and held him out for
a second OF two over the verge. His
cOuntenance, when Blondin laid hold of
him, was irradlated with mirth. When
Blondin drew him back and dropped
him on the green sward he sank there
In q heap, hOrrOr-stricken by a shock
from the effects Of which his nervous
system never fully recovered. In the
next instant, Blondin, grasping HE
heavy balancing pole, danced out upon
his rope beyond the fearful precipice.
and turning 10 enjoy the effects Of his
manpuvre, saluted his indignant friend
with a gesture indescribably outre. Tie
then continued his first walk across the
Niagara chasm, experiencing not the
least tTemOT or emotion.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1879-07-05
a Monster Gold watch,

George >. Keefer, residing near
Reading, Pa, is the owner of what is
regarded as the largest gold watch in
inns country and one which rs destined
TO pull down the vest" of the wearer.
The watch in question weighs within a
fraction one pound and half troy
weight, and is without doubt Il e
heaviest gold watch in the United
States. some time ago the owner or
dercd silver watch weighing one
pound. He is the possessor of three
watches now, and their combined
weight is four pounds. In ordering
the watch he wrote at least to a half
dozen of the most prominent watch fac
tories in the country. One dealer
answered promptly to the effect that
there was mistake i'm the order as the
size and weight could not possibly be
That much. Another dealer refused TO
undertake the jobNand said that the Or
der should be sent to California, where
they had plenty of gold and didn't
know what TO do with il. IL was nee
essary TO provide new tools to make a
monster of that kind, and hence the
manufacturers did not care to enter
into contract. Finally a BROOKLYN.
y. y, watch company undertook it,.
and after a series of experiments, sue
ceeded in forming the models and turn
ing out the watch. The case is
eighteen carat and perfectly plain. a
monogram is to be engraved upon it be-
fore it is delivered. Its cost is
very nearly five hundred dollars. Be-
lore 1t was sent 10 Reading it was ex-
hibited In New York as the largest gold
watch.eyer manufactured i'm America.