Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-07-16

CuCy WOulUu lldEo udu blm6 10 20
round foraging for pippins.- Yonkers
Gazette.
After the service. Deacon-"Good
afternoon, Brother Smith. You neg
lected to pray for rain; and our crops
are all drying up" Minister-'sSo l
did, am sorry. But you know the
First Church have picnic tome borrow,
and that will, doubtless, do quite as
we'll. y american Punch.
By gracious, it makes us blush for
our lack of that delicate perception of
the fitness of things when we read this
note which IS now before us. It is from
a young lady from Boston, visiting here,
and she writes for some information re-
garding Cleopatricka's needle. John,
hand us the Richardtionary.-
Moines' Register,
There is 40 circus tent, howeer much watched
But needs some greater care;
There is 10 hole, however well defended,
| But has small boy there.
Salem SUNBEAM.
-Whene'er you hit at the mosquito
| In the twilight lovely and gray,
1t fordS up its little aUgur
! And generally gets away
| In spite of you.
| Canada announces an electrical girl,
who, by mere contact, can impart
| powerful shock. We do not desire
to discourage Canada, but her new
production is nothing onderful-there
are plenty OF girls in the United States
| who can shock anybody at sight.-New
York Herald.
The play was at its height in the
card-room of d well-known club, and
from a distant corner was heard
ave are two to two" "By Jove! we are
two to two, too" responded a player at
80 adjoining table. No wonder that A
GERMAN present likened our language
to a French horn.-Judy.
A little girl who had been on rail
road train when an accident occurred.
was told by her mother that she ought
to thank God for her escape from injury
when she made her evening prayer.
She did it in this way: "Thank YOU, God,
for not letting me be hurt to-day, but the
next timeI go to the city I'll go in q
wagon. "-Neuspaper IVuif.
How true is the saying that great
minds run In the same channels, though
centuries of time may divide them.
Thousands of years ago Confucius said.
"The full! moon does not always last"
and the other night South-end man,
who was sitting by the window, softly
remarked: THE moon is gettin' small
er, an bout next Fridayltl be dark
enough to gather in the balance of old
Crosby's wood-pile. '-Rockland Courier.
Oh, yes. Pm mad-iust as mad as !
can be- exclaimed a fashionable lady.
tossing her head to give emphasis to
| her words, TO think that those horrid
reporters should have had the impu-
dence to lug me into their description of
the Fitzgerald wedding. Ugh the nor
rid thlngs-and they didn't even men
ton the lace On my dress.-Audrevs'
Bozar
| PROFESSOR HOLDEN says that a great
many writer's use vocabulary of sc, 900
words, and the average among good wri-
tiers, will fall very little below that. That
may be true, but when man tries to
raise window in hurry and catches
his thumb between the sash and the fy
screen, he dOsen't use more than half q
dozen words, but they are worth 10000
| on ordinary occasions. -Bur3inQtou
Ha,ukeye.
IT is by far the most painful episode
in the history of the church at Maltese
Cross Roads. The talented minister of
| that church was awarded the degree of
Doctor of Divinity by one of our col
ieges a few days since, and as soon as
the commencement exercises were over
he telegraphed the news to one of his
deacons. The telegram, as he sent it,
read: "Ive just been D. DID by NV
alma MATER but as the deacon receiv-
ed it it read +" I've just been id by my
alma mater" The deacon had the
most exalted opinion of his dominic.
not only of his intellectual abilities, but
Of his moral worth, and at once called
| an Indignation meeting of the church,
at which III the most scathing terms, he
denounced the college which had pre-
sumed to d-n a reverend gentleman
who was OF unlmpeached soundness in
doctrine, and whose practice was in
strict conformity with his preaching.
He carried all his hearers with him, and
bis motion that the salary of their dear
but shamefully-abused pastor be in
creased 500, and that q committee be
appointed to purchase a silver service
to be presented to him on his return,
was carried unanimously, and there
wasn't a dry eye ia the house. The
newly-degreed minister bearing his.
blushing honors with graceful humility
arrived home in the morning.
In the afternoon the deacon, we roget
to say, dissolved his connection with the
church and bought shotgun. About
the same time genial and urbane tele-
graph operator began leaving for parts
unknown as fast as the lightning ex-
press would carry him.-AIbany Eren-
in9 Jouqasal. 49,
The Sutro tunnel cost 100000,
and has taken ten Years of time, night