The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-31

y
ssormed tonight and taken with loss o.
1,5o0 men.
They can't be.
g Wei, we shouldn't overlook any con
tiDgency." ,,,;,,
r rive Won exclusively. It will lend new
courage and confidefce to our troops, ioi
fhcv know that the Journal OF me 6u,urt
g Invariably well informed. There are oO''
40 francs as a guarantee fund. Ii the hlne
does not enter Madrid Tomorrow Dy NOON
or ten minutes past the money is yours"
III.
aHere are some particulars about TO-
xeorrow's election"
s.fsJad TO have them. The public is taking
anost lively interest fn the struggle. You
have been over the ground-ln every
place 2"
The Republican candidate VIII receive o.
no votes and the Imperialist ~, Az. Ihere
ali, he Is3 blank ballots or votes rejected
for informally" ;,
1.Tbanks. Is il to be quiet election !! .
<.You may say that the slightest disturb
znce will not be recorded"
eyes, my man, at O'Clock"
4Well. then, cap, you can give it to them
si,at the crib ri be cracked tonight"
1.The crib-be cracked. / don't quite
understand"
aIs the door shut9 No one listening
ls there1"
a1oue.'
aWelI, tonight we are going through a
Jewellers shop in the Palais-Royal for 2Goa-
900 francs worth Of sparkiers."
1.-THE deuce you say !"
dyes: nut down 200, 900 francs the boo
ole won't vary from that amount ten francs
one way or the other. You can gamble on
that
A.But you may not succeed"
xOh, wen, make the rifle all right. The
tanltor Is going to let us in, and be has the
Aey OF the combination"
t.Haven't you any fears that may let the
police know all these details ?"
nWhat! you blow on us, and spoil your
paper's reputation for giving early and ac-
eurate news? What are you giving me?
Fone OF the boys would ever bring you an
stem il you did,"
IL only said so to try you, and see that
yual were not an impos.or."
* >Ob, Pm no fraud; Pm a square, honest
thief. You can have confidence in me-"
<.N ell, thanks for your news. [Exit
burglar Confound the scoundrel; he's
carried off my watch. He can't be far; Pll
call the police. No, on second thought,
wont, because il did that would spoil my
sensation about the burglary. Still the ras-
cal charges mighty steep column-rates for
ms copy"
H.
"1And he ought to be in love with you,
600, Miss, for so handsome young Wo-
Nan7'-
~But he is not, and therefore am about
20 die. Be so good as to take some notes
about my suicide"
ssOf course have no desire to deter you
81 your mind is made up; go ahead with
the particulars"
IsTo-morrow night I will lock my room,
close the windows and all the apertures,
and light my brazier OF charcoal. 1t is
probable that BY midnight shall have bid
Den farewell to this cold, dark, cruel world.
This Is copy OF the letter to the man [
so-lo-love, which will leave under the
clock on the mantelpece. You will per-
eeiye that in it give all the reasons which
will have impelled me to this awful STEP"
"Permit me to wipe my weeping eyes;
such sad tales Of unrequited love always
overpower me-"
"Good afternoon, sir"
"Before dying, won't you come out
1nd have some oysters. or say, few chick
ea-Iivers en- brochette?"
sob, no, sir; thank you all the same"
~Don't you like oysters ?"
81 love them but since Ferdinand has
proved faithless victuals have no longer any
charm for me-"
"Sir, am tired OF my Iife."
"Love unrequited? Wife proved false?
"<s No; merely incurable melancholia.
About P. NJ. tomorrow shall hurl my
self out OF my window. live on the fifth
4oor, SO that you can safely announce that
my death will be instantaneous.
Your address, please. so that can warn
Cur readers not to be passing along the
sidewalk beneath at the time that you pre-
cdpitate yourself from above. Asyou must
weigh 2S0 pounds at least, it would be de-
cidedly unpleasant TO have you 'light-or
rather heavy-on a PERSONS head. Such
paragraphs, you will perceive, may be worth
to some Of our readers the price OF whole
years subscription"
Al will give you my address with plea
sure, il you don't think that the authorities
NAV 80
ooh, that'll be all right. The only thing
which is against the law is to shake carpets
cut OF your window"
@tBy the way, am not entitled TO Tree
subscription for this item?" :,
"Certainly; but II you ere going TO XIII
yourself tomorrow %
"I know, but you can leave the paper Tor
my ianitor He is very obiging fellow
and q great one for reading the news"
:" The paper shall be sent"