Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-05-23
llu,nor.

An Amsterdam newspaper speaks Of
i man who was fatally injured while
attempting 10 commit suicide.
Beware Of dried apples; they live not
wisely but 70 swell,--PhiGaae,2hia Chma.
itit~ Herald,
"Madam,' sad tramp ON Cottage
Hill, would you give mo an old PAIR OF
pants, for LIN starvin' 10 death. Nor
risoen Herald
Mamma Well, Freddy. what hymn
did You have NJ church this morning
Miss Russell (promptn4l; sun Of my
Soul Freddy lpromptlyl, sun Of Miss
RusSells Souls Fan,
How tins world docs progress, 10 10
sure. \ quarter Of u century ago such
\ thing rs a shoe artist" or "nrofeS-
Sor OF the toaSorial art, VAS unknown.
We had 10 worry along with shoomak-
ors and BARRIERS, No,lisiaEn RculG.
lou probably have noticed that rs
never expresses " positive opinion If
amy subject, he simply specks ~.
Diagram furnished On application, -
tiac'andt Hsqutr,
What Is more deserving of our sym-
pathy than u young man with fifteen
cents III his pocket \ girl on each arm,
and seven lCe-cream signs III sight -
MIadtto'rn IrmScript
A Texas chap Shot five men and no
attention WIS paid to Il, but one day he
stole Il mule, and III less than an hour
the Infatuated citizens hanged him. -
on Cag Derrick
ht-ior.tat Mamma 10 llamilton
who haS been put in tho corner because
he would not say "please" -"IoH may
come ont nov, Hamilton" Hamit-
ton Mot till you say please,
mother" landon Pnch
4 Hardly Ever temperance society
has been formed down east. When u
member is asked il he drinks he says
"hardly even, but il do, il is about
this time Of day. 80 Exchange,
A sewing.maehlne agent, who was
Very i'll, being told that hc must prepare
to pay the debt of nature, wanted 10
know il il couldn't be paid OH tho
monthly installmont plan, Cincinnati
Saturday Night
4 subscriber wrote TO 4 journal to
make some inquiries about the next
worlds fair, wheroupon the wicked cdi,
tor replied that he was under the inn
preston that the next world wouldn't
have amy fair,
A man was taking aim ut il hawk that
was perched ON tree near his chicken
coop, when his little daughter exclaim-
ed, Don't take aim, pm let it so oil
hy ACCIDENT why 500 asked her
father. Cause every gun that goes oil
by accident always hits somebody
n ktss tnid younr Charles, 'ipu noun, W.
allow;
hut tell me. my dear, il Il proper OF eomnouYA
Lovely Mary hmphed end exclaimed, why, vow,
think that Kiss Ia beth proper md com.
mona
The following testimonial ola certain
patent medicine, speaks for itself Dear
Sir; Two months ago my wifo could
scarcely speak She has taken two bot
ties Of your Life Remover, and now
She can't speak Mt all. Please send me
two moro bottles. wouldn't be with.
out ii. e-Nor,istoWn Herald
Professor said the sneoky soph, sis
there any danger Of disturbing tho mag
netic currents il examine that compass
too elosely2' And the stern professor
loving his little joke, promptly respond.
ed: mo, sir; brass Inns no effect what
ever upon them" thereby scoring three
against the unsuspectins man OF cribs.
-Aota Coitmbiand.
A rather ilashy dressed young lady
in company with her mother was COM
ing ont Of church, and while walking
down tho massive stone steps tho old
lady slipped and went hoadlong to the
sidewalk. The daughter, horror-striek
en-. hid her face in $50 handkerchief,
and instead Of helping her mother up,
blurted ont, ooh, mother; such nm idea
How could you fall here You're por-
feetly awful. I'm sorry | came out
with you2"-Nco York Express.
Mr.. 7. I. Barnum relates that ON one
occasion, when Phoebe Cary was ut his
museum looking about nj tho curiosi.
ties, he preceded her on the stairs and
had passed down two steps. She, intent.
ly watching n big anaconda IN Il case nj
the top OF the stairs, walked on and fell
He was just in time to catch her IN his
arms and snye her from dangerous
fall. II am moro lucky than the first
woman was who fell through the inilu,
ence Of the serpent" remarked Miss
Cary, Ms she recovered herself.
/