The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1879-01-01
WIT AND HUMOR.

49, - =.
Eternal vigilance is the price OF ash bar
rels.
What flies forever and rests never? The
wind
Sweet are the experiences of the candy
Happy to meat you," said a polite
butcher.
There are many ups and downs in life, as
the elevator boy said.
No one has attempted to shoot the head off
king for 15 minutes.
The early dog drinks all the milk from the
pail On the front stoop.
To illustrate slackness take a cask of lime
. or delinquent subscriber.
If you want to raise money, why not go to
my loan rock by the sea?'
If Aleck Stevens wasn't congressman he
would make good book mark.
A Harrison man who married q spare old
maid for her money calls her his bone Nancy.
Ought the torrid zone to be considered the
finest part of the world because it bears the
palm?
''Woman's Work is Never Done is a
beautiful poem. n. B.-For work" read
gossip
s'Tbese are times that try mems soles,'-
aa.ess they are double tapped and the cross
1t must be a curious sight to see woman
with her eyes fastened on her work. ken
nebunk Star.
There are lots of men that can tell the
truth, but it seems to hurt them so bad that
they never doit.
Some people resemble "Grandfather's
clock" inasmuch as they have "ticked' 20
yesrs without stopping.
The days have come when the one thing
harder than getting into bed at night is the
getting out in the morning
Neuralgia is doing more this week than
confidence man ever did, for it has got the
best of us.-New York News.
LET girls be girls" says an exchange.
Yes, that's So A change couldn't be for the
better and might be for the worse.
A cats eyes begin TO grow large at O clock
p. m, and are largest at midnight, when
bootjsck seems to them as large as barn
door,
gold.-Whltehall Times. And a pocket of
gold lineth stomach with fat-Erratic En-
rique.
1t is estimated by the bureau of statistics
that there are now extant 5000, 600 old let
ters each containing the postscript "Burn
this"
Rheumatism is frequently the result of an
overdose of moisture; in other words, to be
caught pouring rain often insures a roar
ing pain.
That the earth is not OF uniform thickness
is proven by the fact that one doesn't have to
dig as deep in some places to strike china as
in others.
1t takes six weeks of singing, dancing,
fighting. swearing and rejoicing to crown an
African king, but the place is q good one and
pays big wages.
A little boy, weeping most piteously, was
Interrupted by some unusual occurrence.
He hushed his cries for a moment; the
thought was broken. "Ma," said he, resum-
ing his snifle, ''wha. was 1 crying about just
now?"
During Buffalo Bills visit in Hartford last
week q donkey belonging to the company
kicked little daughter of Waterman at the
south end, wherever that may be.-Danbury
News
Father" said an inquisitive boy ''what
is meant by close relations?" "Close rela-
tons, my son." replied the father, "are rela-
tons that never give you cent The boy
said the old man, then, was the closest"
relation he'd got.
Mother, does God sea everything that's
done?' asked little one. "Yes my dear
everything" was the reply; ''but why do
you ask?'i Because" said the artless child
Il think that, to say the very least of it, it is
very incoRyenient.'
A woman who heard Camilla U rso pay on
the violin writes that cit whispered and wept
and sobbed and shivered." The majority OF
fiddles cause the listener to sweep and sob
and shiver." And they don't "whispern
either. They just screech and shrek and
yell and howl like a juvenile fog whistle
with the delirium tremens.-Norristown
Herald
promising youth recently surprised his
father by asking, "Father, do you like moth
err" "Why, yes, OF course" AND she
likes you" "Of course she does" ibid
she ever say sop "Many time, my son -
Did she marry you because she loved your"
Certainly she did" The boy carefully
scrutinized his parent, and after long pause
asked, We'll was she as near sighted then as
she is now?"
A well appearing gentleman walked into
the bar room of a leading hotel the other
evening, and protesting to be out of change
asked the bar keeper if he could put his
umbrella up for drink As it was a good
silk one the security was agreed upon. The
man swallowed his beverage, and, quietly
raising his umbrella, walked out, Jimmy
did not call hum bacK, but took the Joke as
philosophlcsliy as possible.-Rochester In
ion. .a.l
OVER THE SEA. Tff