davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19
Good Adrice.

The Hawkeye gives this good advice
10 the young man of the period: Re
member son. that the world Is older
than you are. by several years; that for
thousands Of years II has been 80 full
Of smarter aud better young men than
Yourself, that their feet stuck ont OF
the dormer windows; that when they
died the old world went whirling ON.
and not one man IN ten million went to
the funeral or even heard OF the death.
BE as smart as you can. of course
Know as much as you can without
blowing the packing out Of your cylin-
der heads; shed the light Of your wis
dom abroad IN the world, aud don't
dazzle people with il. Aud don't ina
agine a thing il so simple because you
say il IL. Don't be sorry for your IA.
ther because no knows 80 much less
than you do: remember the reply Of
DIR. Waylani 10 the students OF Brown
University who said il was an easy
thing to make proverbs such as Solo
mon wrote: make few" teresly re-
piled the old man. We never heard
that the young man made any. Not
more than two or three, anyhow The
world has great need Of young men,
but no greater need than the young
have of IL Your clothes TT You better
than your fathers at him; they cost
more money, they are stylish: your
moustache Il better, aud you are pret-
tier, oh. far prctsier than ''pa." But.
y0ure a, the old gentleman does the
bu aud his homely, scramb-
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19
THE WRONG CHANDLER.
How san Fraucisco Entertained n
JuggIcr for N Political Celebrity.

From the san Francisco Post.
Mr.. William +. Chandler, the Secro-
tary Of the National Republican Com
mittee, arrived here last Wednesday,
aud the next morning Mr.. W. l.. Chand-
Ter. and Eastern acrobat aud iuggior,
also reached this city from Chicago 20
fill an engagement al Woodward's Gar
dens Last evening our State Central
Republican Committee, assisted by
many prominent Republicans, tender
ed the former distinguished politician
a dinner at the Palace Hotel. at which
there was represented an imposing ar
ray Of political and financial big-bugs
Of the party. After the steak-wrest-
ling and kuife-swallowing had in a
measure subsidized, the company braced
back in their chairs, closed their eyes
in the attitude Of earnest attention,
aud the speeches began. Fourteen
weIl-known politicians said that never
in the whole course of their public ca
reer had they been called upon To do
Justice TO an occasion more fraught
with, etc, etc. Eleven heavy capital
lists felt proud Of the opportunity OF
extending characteristics California
welcome 10 one whose eminent services,
ETC., etc. Eight editors remarked that
as what had been already said had been
on the whole so well said. they felt
that nothing remained for them but to
join in extending the right hand Of
fellowship 90 one whose signal abih
ties, etc.
The occasion of all this oratorical
tally encased the ediblos and surround
ed the Roedercr with heartinoss that
did the souls of his entertainers good
and when the toast of the evening,
"Our Distinguished Guest, was drunl.
he steadied himself by placing one
hand on the Websterian forehead OF
Superintendent Dodge and the other
on Senator Sharon's virgin dome oi
thought, and responded as follows:
GENTLENAS, My DEAR BOYs:-I real
ly amer. knocked cndways by tins way.
mp blowout. You do me proud. I've.
er-hearn tell that You California fellers
treated Booth and Jefferson and them
big bugs Of their perfesshun bang up,
hut / dldn't know you came out so all.
fred strong on Us variety people. -
However, / claim 10 be "Ihe Only
Chandler" and / can get away with
any man in my line Of business that
walks on legs. There amt one Of 'em
kin keep four cannon balls in the air si
the same time-not one, L know
There's that little Dutchman-klophei-
mer-vho bills to do my hoop contor.
ton act, but he's fraud. The hoop
he crawls through with a glass Of wa.
ter balanced ON his nose is just the
same size ~ mine. l admit; but then,
It's n RUBBER hoop, and can prove II.
I'm goiug TO have benefit next Satur.
day evening, and 1 hope you'll All
come. Only six bits for reserved seats.
| will nov pass round tho table with
the tickets.
But before "rhe Great Senecambiau
Jupgler" could consummate his frugal
intentions he felt like ono Who trod
alone a banquet hsll deserted. Tho
guests had quietly, but firmly, lit out,
aud as we 60 10 press the miserable
committee, who had captured the
wrong Chandler, are still hiding in the
foot hills until the thing blows over.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19
Bet his Hand.

The Franklin (Mass) Register, tells
this little story: a few evenings since
party was given at the house of one Of
our prominent citizens. One Of the
scests was a most charming and accom-
plisEed lady, who had worn the weeds
Of " idowhood two years; another was a
gentleman but recently come TO our town
IA native Of Hartford, Conn. The
amusements OF the evening were varied
and thoroughly enjoyable; but the chief
attraction proved, 10y delightful event,
to be the game Of bassino. Several had
tried their skill at the board, with varied
fortunes, when the gentleman and the
lady referred 90 approached the table,
and the gentleman suggested to his part
ner that they should try their skill at
the pins. The challenge was accepted,
and the lady proposed that they play for
a wager. The gentleman calamity as
sented. and asked her 10 name the stake.
Seeing her confusion the host jokingly
said
"His hand against yours"
The lady demurred, and was turning
10 leave the table, when the gentleman,
after n moments thought, said
MY hand for yours, If / win, or at
your disposal for any young lady Of
respectability (her consent being first
obtained) if | lose"
A proposition so gallant the lady
could not resist, for the gentleman was %
prize whoever might win him. Excite
ment now ran high-all other amuse-
ments being suspended as the company
gathered around the bassino board The
lady was reputed skillful with the mace,
but the gentleman knew nothing about
the game, yet possessed an admirable
cOolncss, which was almost an Offset for
inexpericnce. The lady led off, getting
"king strike" and the gentleman
followed. missing little bassino, and max
ing "mun" with the third ball. 4
laughing sensation was indulged IN
when the score for first play was an
nounced-"lady, IS and a bassino spare /:
gentleman, minus Is" Nothing dauntCd
s. continued the play, followed with
equal spirit by the fair antagonist, until
near tile close OF the game, after the
seventh play, when the score stood
gentleman, 2l5, lady, l64." The excite
ment among the guests was now intense,
and the lady, flushed and trembling
played very badly her last three plays
losing heavily. At the close OF the tenth
and last play the score estoOd-"lady, 2}6
gentleman 80, said to be the best
score ever made IN town. a decorous
applause followed the announcement /;
and the lady. covered with confusion,
scarce had presence of mind enough to
acknowledge the low bow Of s., who
murmurcd q few sentences expressive
of Joy. The hostess now advanced, took
the ieebly-rosisting hand Of the fair
widow. and placed IL in that Of the win
ming gentleman. And we hear that the
latter ceremony is 10 be repeated with
more solemnity, some few months hence,
due notice Of which will be published
in the Register. The mace used s.
begged Of his host, saying that he would
treasure il carefully, for a perpetual
reminder of that happy evening.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19
He Was Not an Ohio Man.

The Mind and Matter is responsible
for the following story OF the expe-
rience Of Rev. J. ii. Harper of Auburn,
y. Y, in procuring q license 20 solemn
ize marriage in Ohio:
"When In Ohio L called ut the ofiice
Of the Probate 10 procure license to
perform marriages, and the following
dialogue took place
care you minister of the gospelF
eyes, sir.
"Are you an ordained minister Of the
gospel3'
81 am"
"Where were you ordained?"
AT Herkimer, in ths State OF New
York"
"were You ordained in the State OF
Ohio?"
"No.
"Are YOU now settled over any legal
lied church, parish, congregation, or
sociciy?"
"I am"
"What one?"
"The First Society of Spiritnalists in
Cleveland"
"Are you permanently settled?'
NO. Spiritualis, ministers in this
respect, IA we'll as IN many others, are
like Jesus: they 60 about doing good. !"
"Well, as you were not ordained IN
Ohio, and as you are not permanently
settled, / shall have 10 rule against
you.
"VeTy well, / must submit to your
ruiling, but il would exclude Almighty
God, for / don't believe He was ever
ordained in Ohio. And Judging from
what have seen while ia Ohio, i don't
think He is permanently settled any
where ia the State.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19
Sea Lions..How they are Caught.

Nearly all the live seal, sea lions a nd
sea elephants that have been furnished
WOodward's Gardens, in San Francis
CO, and that have been sent 90 the Old
World and the Eastern States during
the last fifteen years, have been cap.
tuTcd from the Santa Barbara Islands,
across the channel from this city
Every year there are more or less Of
these animals captured on the islands,
for the purpose Of supplying menager-
les IN the Eastern States, and parties
engaged in the business always come
to Santa Barbara TO secure men for
this purpose, who have had years OF
experience IN capturing them. The
mode Of capturing these animals is
simple. yet very exciting, and while 1t
is not considered much of a trick TO
cage an ordinary sized seal, IL is big
contract 90 capture bull that weighs
800 pounds or more, without serious
ly iniuring the animal. Three OF four
expert vacquorOrs usually approach
the animals that are ont on the rocks
near the beach, select, perhaps from
hundred or more, the big bull which
usually starts for the water, aud when
place or the sanl, il possible three
riatas are thrown simultaneously, one
over the animals neck, one over either
Of his front fiippers aud one over his
rear fippers, making a spread-eagle OF
him instantly. The riata that holds
his rear flippers takes away the motive
power 81 the animal. aud while his
other front Hipper is "lassOed," the
riatas are all fastened 10 the rocks or
trees near by. or held by the men en-
gagged, while the large box which has
already been made-without the cover.
is brought aud carefully stood on end
close behind the animal, unobserved,
aud, with man on top OF it, Is drop
pol suddenly over the sea lion a. he
lies stretched 40 full length on the
sand. Small ropes are worked under
the box and the animal. and lashed to
the top of the box, aud at given sig.
nal the riStas are loOsened. the box
turned over, and the animal held on
his back in the bottom of the cage un-
oil the cover is securely nailed down.
when the ropes aud riatas are loosened
and the animal IL free 20 move around
bis cage al will. The cages are made
out OF strong fence boards, firmly nail
ed 10 the sclntling in the corners and
on the sides. They are about four
high, four aud a half feet wide, and
from eight TO fourteen feet in length.
and always made before the animals
arc captured After the animals are
Gagged, several strong ropes are made
fast arornd the cage and blocks hitch
"a into these ropes, and the cage, with
the animal. is drawn through the water
20 the schooner, near by, and hoisted
on board. Fish and water Is gwen the
captured animals, bat they often 60
from ten 10 twenty days without eat
ing Il Santa Barbara Press.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19

Mere than 90 years ago, says the
New York Journal Of Commerce, when
IL was found that prevention OF chole-
ra was easier than cure, a prescription
drawn up by eminent doctors was pub
lished in the New York Sun, and il
took the name Of the Sun cholera ned
icine. Our contemporary never lent
its name 10 better article. We have
seen IL in constant use for nearly two
score years aud found il the best reme-
DIV for looseness OF the bowels ever yet
devised. No one who has this by him
aud takes IL in time, will ever have tho
cholera. We commend II TO all our
friends. Even when no cholera As an-
ticipated, IL il an excellent remedy for
ordinary simmer complaints, colo,
diarrhea. dysentery. etc. Take equal
parts Of tincture of cayenne pepper,
tiucture Of opium, tincture OF rhubarb,
essence Of peppermint and spirits of
camphor. Mix we'll Dose, 10 to 30
drops in a little cold water, according
10 age aud violence OF symptoms; re-
peat every 10 or 20 minutes until relief
is obtained.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19
NUMBER I'LL.

ling signature on the business end OF
check will drain more money out OF the
hank in five minutes than you could get
out with ream of paper and copper
plate signature in six months. Young
men are useful, son, and they are orna-
mental. and We love them, and We
couldn't engineer picnic successfully
without them. Bat they are no novel;
ties, son. Oh, no. nothing Of the kind,
They have been here before. Don't be
SO modest as to shut yourself clear out,
but don't be 80 fresh you will have TO
be put away in the cool 10 keep from
spelling. Don't be afraid that your
merit will not be discovered. People
all over the world are hunting for you.
and il you are worth finding, they will
find you.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19
SONNET.

10, In that shadowy place, wherein Is found
The fruitage OF the spirit men call dreams,
wander'd. Ever underneath pale CLEANS
OF misty moonlight quiyering all around,
And ever by the banks Of sedgy streams
sound.
spirit walked beside me. From a mound,
Rustling with poplar leaves from top 10 base,
Some bird knew not shrilled a cry OF dole
So bitter. cried out to God for grace;
Whereat he by me slackened II iOm his pace.
Turning upon me In my cold amaze
Aud saying "While the long years onward
roll
Thou shalt be haunted BY this hated face
And looking up looked on mine own soul
william Sharp.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19

The survivors Of Libby prison, An
dersonville, Columbia. Salisbury, and
other confederate prison pens, will
hold a reunion at Toledo on the 1st
aud 2d days Of October A large at
tendance is expected, a. there are ten
or twelve thousand Of those men now
living in Ohio, Indiana. Michigan. IL
liuois aud Wisconsin. No political
talk or speeches viii be permitted, the
object being a free aud unrestrainod
meeting Of old comrades aud an Inter.
change OF recolleciions aud oxpcrien-
ces. Mr.. J. J. Brown, secretary, whose
address is Toledo. knows all about II,
and will answer questions upon appli-
cation.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19

We see nothing in the columns Of the
northern Democratic newspapers 10 in
dicate that their editors have hess'
about the Yazoo outrage in Mississippi.
Some Of the southern Democral ic or
eans have uttered their condemnation
in words that cannot be misundar-
stood. But the northern Democrat is
too inveternate dough-face 10 write
OF speak n line that may offend even
the least or few of "our southern
brethren"
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19

There Is compositor In the Star Of
fee who, every time he sets up long
sentence. travels into the next saloon
for drink. He sets about $500 ems n
day. and walks altogether about four
and half miles after beer. His strong
objection 90 the country Is that poor
men have no show tbere.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19

Trains are run by chicago time, which Is ~
minutes slower than Detroit and Columbus time.
All trains run daily, except sundays.
CoSNECTTONs.-C connections made al p
sllanti. with VI. G. II. X. fOr all points east and
gest A. Manchester, with Jackson Branch OF
L. \. NJ. :. n. X. At Hlllsdale; with L. ;. NJ.
: r. r. At Bankers, with n. W., .. :. X. r.
TOR points north and south
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19
IN VACATION

When met her al party.
Dead In love fell at night;
For her beauty was bewitching,
And her conversation bright
30 I did my best to please her.
Chaitod ON all sorts Of things;
Told her OF our life at college,
With some slight embellishlngN
"How do you." she asked, "like CambrldgeY"
90" said. "the town will do;
Though. 20 tell the truth. It's girls arc
Rather homely. and 30 bluer'
Fool was! saw my blnnder
when her lip began 10 curl,
Aud I'm coolest tones she answered.
"well, sir. Fa a Cambridge girl"
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19
TT WAYNE, JACK SON & SAGINAW

Shod Line as miles shortest 20 lndianapo-
lis. Louisville. and all points south. -
miles the shortest TO St Louis, Kansas.
Texas. and all points west Direct route
10 Baltimore. Washington. Philadelphia
aud New York.
Time card in Effect Nav ~. fsiQ:
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19

Grand Rapids whisky pnt on. Mr..
Kautenberger eye stabbed Frank Yeg-
ell, blacked Mrs. Kautenbergcr's eyes.
and three other persons who held most
OF the whiky got into deep trouble.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19

Through Goa isss between DE-
rHOrE aud colt uHss ON both Ex-
press Trains.
l. IAN. =. Trsiss from Detroit and Main
and Air Line, y. a 4. u. and Jackson trains AZ
rvfng in Toledo make connection with the two
Express trains which leaves the Columbus A To-
De- in r. " Depot-the Omnibus Lane making the
transfer from union depot IN 80 minutes
Direct connections made in Union Depot 81
Columbus for newark, Lanesyilie. plffshurrh.
wheeling. Baltimore, Washington and Phiadei-
phia, also. Tor Dayton cincinnati, Louisville ana
an points south aud southwest
Pullman Drawing Room ana sleeping cars
from columbus % Baltimore. washington and
Ptnadeip phia, without change.
Trains vii arrive snd dspan from Toledo af
C0iumhus and Toledo Railroad Corupauy's De
pot Water street, foot u Mulberry
". A. MILLS, Gen. Ticket Agent
ORLANDO SMITH, Gen. supL
". ". GREENE. President.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19

DETROIT hIlLspALE a. SOUTH
WESTERN r.
Trains vii leave the stations named. as follows,
'rOm aud after Nov. 2fth. ISIS:
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19
LAKE SHORE a MICH. SOU. r. r.
ins will leave the stations named. as follows:

tn Michigan Accommodation, going West,
connects with Kalamazoo and Grand RAPIDS
rrain az White Pigeon.
gs- Mail and Night Express trains going east
,onnect with Trains for Detroit. az Adrian.
LANSING DIVISION.
Trains wilileaye the stations named, as Tel
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19
COLUMBUS TOLEDO R. R.
THE DIRECT AIR LINE FROM
TOLEDO COL

SHORTEST ROUTE PROM SOUTHERN AND
NORTHERN MICHIGAN TO CENTRAL AND
SOUTHERN OHIO.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19

All trains daily except SUNDAY.
Through tickets % al principal points.
For Information a. % routes aud connections
apply to =. X. HOOPER, Gen1 Ticket Agt.
Il. B. LOOMS. Presr a Gent Manager.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19
PERKINS STORY.

Upon entering the front door Of the
company's Office on Water street, "A
clerk or employe directed me 30 room
farther 10 the rear OF the building, aud
a. went by remarked: That is the
Press reporter
II entered another room, where /
found Henry Chisholm, who invited
me into his private Office, a room far
ther from the street entrance. tie
then kindly invited me 81 take a seat.
and we entered into somewhat
lengthy conversation about the article
which appeared IN Fridays Press. The
particular language Of this converse
tion subsequent events have driven
from ny mind, but there was no hard
language used, and IL was confined 20
a quiet discussion of the Press article.
We bad talked quite a while on this
subject when Chisholm arose from his
chair. excused himself for leaving me
alone aud went into the front part Of
the building. where he remained a long
time. When he returned he sat down
in his chair aud said, what made YOU
use my name in that articleY said.
TO fully establish the identity OF the
young man who had been arrested. ,
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1879-08-19
SUMMER ARRANGEMENT,

Three Passenger Trains Daily except Sundays
as follows:
Stevens County tribune. (Morris, Minn.) 1877-1880, 1879-10-02
Fer Rent.

w. w. Learned, of Hancock, has three
store rooms TO rent, two are 12x24, with
additions to add that will suit the occupant,
and the other is 1Gx24, with like addition
as may best suit the business. Would pre-
fer to have a shoe store on one side, tailor
shop, or tin shop, on the other, and the
center building for q fancy grocery, ice
cream saloon, fruit stand, notions, &c,
The rooms will be hard finished all around.
Hancock is greatly i'll need of a shoe maker,
tin smith, millinery store, and tailor. For
. a new opening there is not better place
than Hancock to start in and grow up with
the country. w. w. LEARNED.
Hancock. Aug. 25, 1870. 10
Stevens County tribune. (Morris, Minn.) 1877-1880, 1879-10-02

Rev George H. Thayer, of Bourbon, Ind,
known to every one in that vicinity as q
most influential citizen, and Christian Min
lister of the M. E. Church, says: 81 wish
every body to know that both myself and
wife owe cur lives to Shilohs Consump-
ton Cure" Drs. Matchett s. France, Ply
sicians and Druggists, of the same place,
say: 1t hes a tremendous, SAFE, and is Civ
ing perfect satisfaction such as nothing else
has done For Lame Back, Side, or Chest,
don't fail to use Shiloh's Porous Plaster.
We recommend these remedies" Sold by
nj. NJ Moore s
Stevens County tribune. (Morris, Minn.) 1877-1880, 1879-10-02
sonvassertthat the man was abused, This

SOME assert that the man was abused, This
is downright lie, as several gentlemen
who assisted the Marshal in conveying
Funk to Jail, can prove. DR.. Hulburd was
with the man when he died, and hence an
inquest was not deemed necessary We
would like to say right here, that Marshal
Hancock need pay no attention to the
against him. They come from parties
whose opinions are not respected or valued,
and from the very ones who know that SO
long as he walks the streets, they can't run
the town.