Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1879-09-12
F. u n /!

~ IN ) -e-,
A STRANGERS NosE.-Some of those
chaps who wear their elbows down thin
leaning on saloon counters, have an arti-
fetal fly with d fine thread attached to the
back, and sometimes these toys can be
handled to the amusement of small
crowd. When an unknown man yester-
day fell asleep in a saloon on Michigan
avenue the young man with an artificial
fly was there. He took position behind his
victim, who was lying back on his chair,
and presently the fly lighted on the stran-
gers nose, walked up the bridge and down
and settled for a moment on the tip end.
The sleeper never moved a finger. The
fly went over the old route. drove into the
corner Of the left eye, galloped over to the
right, and ran down to the grand-stand on
the dead fun., But the sleeper dept on. 1t
began tolappear that he Was used to- flies,
and So the game was changed. By stick
ing PIN through one OF these toys you
can make quite bee Of it, the pin being
tho stinger.
When the s'bees descended on the stran-
gers nose everybody expected to see a sud-
den start, but it did not come. After
jab at the tip end, the ''bee'' crawled along
up, waiting for developments and getting
in an occasional sting, but not even sigh
escaped the sleeper. The young man with
the insect was getting tired when the
stranger lazily opened his eyes, slowly rose
from his chair, and coolly remarked:
Snow, then, if you have got through
fooling with my nose, I'll fool with yours
for while!"
It isn't likely that particular young man
will ever bangle artificial flies any more.
He was doubled up, Strengthened out,
choked, mopped and slammed SO thorough
ly that his appetite will run to chicken
broth and arnica for some days to come.
When the cyclone had passed the stranger
said to the Whitefaced crowd on the
bench: sA9i4 X9a5ss ~ s. rs So
qGentlemen, Il any more Of you see any
thing peculiar about my nose, please call
around and let me know ~ u
"You are. very late this morning, Mr..
Jinks, !" was the gruf salutation of city
merchant to- one. of his clerks. "Do not
let it happen again. = i.aa s Z. 5.
'''Verry sorry said the clerk. humbly.
81 met with "a serious fall.''
"Ah, indeed said The merchant relent-
ing. How did it happen? Are you hurt
much?" aa 25-l ~ 70. hsa
principally sir. in your estimation"
said the clerk respectfully. (.
"Oh, never mine, : said the merchant in
kinder tone;;i sssneYer mind that. COM
miserate you. 4 We are all liable to acci-
dents. How did you get the fall 2''
"Well you see, - said the clerk. con-
fidingly, 81 was called quite early this
morning-in fact, you will observe, sir.
somewhat earlier even than usual" 49,
"Ah p .soiag.s.a Fl ssi'98 l59 ID p 4o1
eyes. sir; but somehow or other, I fell
asleep again." giaa9 - $3.50
"Mr. links. you're. . humbug r. tex
claimed the merchant, IN . bantering tone,
for. in spite Of his grufness, he was fond
Of a joke. '..Go to your desk sir. and don't
try it on again." , fe,s 81 ID ...ss,.-a
p
A young lady writes to an exchange.
"For my part, prefer an evening passed
at home with pleasant book.to attending
calls, parties and theatres" Oh, certain
~. When q young lady hasn't beau, nor
. walking costume. she generally prefers
to pass the evening at home with book
which she is too mad to read.
what are you trying to read ?" asked
. visitor of an old gentleman who was
nodding over the evening journal. "Oh,"
replied his wife, ''that's his snooze-paper."
When man makes up his mind that
the world owes him living he has arrived
at a point when the world can spare his |
services.
He put his arm arounds her waist and |
swore an awful swore,. remarking as he |
drew it back, I've felt that Piaofore."
Nothing will make baldheaded man SO |
mad as fly that doesn' t knowwhen he has
had enough.
If your foot is asleep, do not be alarmed;
the poet tells us the sole is not dead that
slumbers. ~.
The mosquito almost always succeeds
in getting 8 speech from the person it
honors with q seyenade.
Mozss, rsr.s had the govt. This was
one of tlhe miased aches Of Moses.
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