Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-01-24

Gators of the weather? Because hey
are bar-room eaters.
A knight errant of the nineteenth
Notwithstanding to get a p,tchr Of
beer before bedtime.
Money makes tie mareeo, seam
makes the cargo, ard the sight the
creditor makes the mango.
1t is lucky to pick M horsesh,s. un
less, OF course, it happens TO be atached
to mules hind leg.
Constituency, thou ;rt Jewel" as
the candidate remarked 70 the oCnv,n-
ton that nominated him.
The Washington Capital Which is al.
thority on slang, says Cheese it" is
corruption of Don't give it a whey"
The fact is not generally appreciate
that the famous A. Ward was a native
of Geneva.-New York Mail,
A new book, like a fresh lobster,
doesn't benefit man until it IS read
and DISQUALIFICATION Herald.
Actors cannot carry their quarres on
the stage. They must "make up" be-
fore they play.-Neu Orleans Picaysne.
1t is not the power Of the steam loco
motive that draws the train. The
freight on board is what makes the car
go.-New Haue,a Register.
1t is no wonder the ivy clings so tight
" to the rocky wall. 1t probably makes
holes to climb by. It has ten drills, you
remember.
A bankrupt was condoled with, the
other day, for his embarrassment. ooh
Pm not embarrassed at all" said he
sits my creditors that are embarrass-
ed"
The young men Of the academy who
so out between acts probably go out
for IN opera glass HeraM r. l.
Wrong, Mr.. p. l.; they probably go ont
for their rye glass.
An old lady recently directed the at
tention of her husband to pair of
twins, remarking as she did so, "How
much those two children do look alike,
especially the one this way
A cynical writer says: "Take com.
pany of boys chasing butterflies put
long-tailed coats on the boys, and turn
the butterflies into dollars, and YOU
have q beautiful panorama of the
world"
The circus man should be happy
With him it is always spring. (lf any
pestilential punster prints this with
'summerset' addendum, lie dies at sun
rise. )-Boston TRANSCRIPT
Mary Jane (reading from news
paper -"Whats the meaning Of
'nauseous,' Thomas?" Thomas-"L
Mary, what the use o. arsting me?
amt q chemist"
When young man has learned to
consume cigaretts in an artistic man
ner by ejecting the smoke through his
nostrils, lifeis no longer barren ideal.
ity, but rs real rs bar of soap.
Tutor-"Come now, Mr.. b., give me
a familiar example Of Hogarth's line to
grace. Can't you think of it2 It's a
curved article that you see every day
Mr. b. (desperately)-"A-a pretzel"
When Bloobs stopped 1t the agents desk
To ask, "Ilow much the fare isS''
lie told his wondering friends thal he
Was going of to Paris.
But now returned, whene'er his friends
EXcalm 'What did you See?"
lie tells them all ne saw and did
'When was III Pa-rec."
Snodkins has been making calls in
Cambridge during the recess. The
mother of one of his lady friends took
interest enough i'll him to inquire what
were ms intentions in regard to her
daughter. My intentions are to leave,
madam" said the hero, and he did
Bravo, Snodkins! Fact. --Har1urd
Crimson.
A rapid and emphatic recital OF the
following simple narrative is an infalli-s
bic cure for lsping: Hobbs meets
Snobbs and Nobbs; Hobbs hobs to
Snobbs and Nobbs; Hobbs nobs with
Snohhs and robs Nobbs' fobs. "This
is, says Nobbs, the worst Of Hobbs
jobs" and Snobbs sObs.- Worcester Ga.
eette.
"To this day writes Emma Abbott,
g love the school girl who gave mo
half her apple one day when ! was hun.
cry" TO divide apples is character
lsuc Of the sex. 1t began with Eve.
The same of spruce gum. But if Miss
Abbott had solicited nm apple from one
of the boys she would have been given
the entire fruit. Boys are more gen
erous.-Baftlo Express