The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-09-03
All Sorts Mixed.

spires this season and left unframed
the modest and unpretentious gin
shop. These are things that puz-
zIes the preachers.
Boy. to gentleman who has not
given him any reward for carrying
his portmanteau: San please, sir.
what must say if any one asks me
how much l has to thank you for =
A clergyman won the canoe race
at Lake George the other day. The
rest of the cloth will please observe
that it was practice, not preaching,
that enabled him to come off victor.
A Frenchman cannot pronounce
"ship.' The word sounds sheep
in his mouth. Seeing an ironclad,
he said to a boy, us dish war
sheep?' "No," answered the boy,
Its RAM"
johnny" said fond mother to
her boy, (which would you rather
do. speak French or SPANISH" 81
would rather said johnny, rubbing
his waistband and looking express
ively at the table, 81 would rather
talk Turkey"
The wise man has his foibles as
well as the fool. But the difference
between them is that the foibles of
Que are known to himself and con-
cealed from the world, and the fol-
bles of the other are known to the
world and-concealed from himself.
The clergyman in certain town,
as the custom is, having published
the banns of matrimony between two
persons, was followed by the clerk,
who read the words: ''Deluded
soulds that dream of heaven"
The New York Independent eIates
that a girl who had been very OBJ
servant of her parents mode of ex-
hitting their charity, being asked
what generosity was, answered:
sits giving to the poor all the old
stuff that you don't want yourself"
A simple minded country woman
applied at one of the stations of the
Fife line the other day for a ticket
to Glasgow. Said the spruce young
clerk. 'Return single?" INA, ma,
replied the worthy woman, "none O
your singles here. I'm a married
woman"
Three hundred silver bricks,
weighing in the aggregate $4,000
ounces, and valued at $35O,OOO, have
been shipped by order of the Treas
ury to New Orleans within the past
few days, through Adams Express
Company, to be coined into stan
dard silver dollars.
Speaking of boys compositions,
we recall this tragic sentence that
closed the effusion of classmate of
our school days. Il once knew a
boy whose chances for health and |
long life were as good as my own,
but who was seized with a fever and
was sick all summer"
An advertisement in a Vermont
paper of last week reads: "Where-
as, my wife name given has sepa-
rated herself from me, and refuses
to assist in my support, l hereby
warn all persons from harboring or
trusting her on my account, as l
shall pay no debt of her contracting
after this date"
"Young man." said a stern old
professor to a student who had been
charged with kissing one of his
daughters, "young man, don't get
into that habit. You will find that
kissing is like eating soup with
fork" ''How SO sir?" asked the
student. Because" answered the
stern old professor, "you can't get
enough Of it,
Two young women were protest
Ing to Hartford court their desire
TO reform. Their lawyer turned to
hem. and said in a whisper audible
% . C'ouraat reporter: "stop your
noise. and sling in your tears"
Then the prisoners lifted up loud
vail, the heart of the Justice was
overcome, and he let them go. 9
Six young women are spending 6
kugust in six tents. near North. L
rood, IN, III. Only one man is toll
rated 10 the camp, and he is a ser. p
ant. FoE diversion, they fish, row, Q
Ide, shoot at mark, play games, :
cad, sing and frolic. The camp is.
allied Gumption, aud each of the CT
arty ID "Gump l." or "Gump O." ca
nd 40 pn. b.
a. party of Baptist clergymen
ere bluefshing off Martha's Vine m
ARD The other day. A question II
'ose nj to whether a certain speci- Of
en- wan really a blue fish. Eve
II en- Baptists," said a native
-. III. -. Eo