The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1879-01-23

Don't go anywhere else to be robbed
step right in here
Mr.. Cask is musical man of Brooklyn,
and he will give you anything from gen.
tie stave to head-splitting whoop.
Perhaps there is nothing in the wide
world as innocent in itself as an umbrella
that has caused so much unadulterated
sin.
4 dying negro was requested to forgive
another darkey. He said: .'If dies l
forgive dat nigga, but if l gets well dat
nigga must take care"
The New York Express gives the fol.
lowing advice to young men: "Never
ask young lady why her back hair
doesn't match that in front"
In the town OF Pelham, Mass, the COM
mon boast is that there is a hill within its
limits from which seventeen church-spires
can be seen without a glass, in aclear day.
''Small thanks to YOU" said petuIant
plaintiff to one of his witnesses, ''for what
YOU said in this case" "Ah, Sir replied
the witness, "but just think what I didn't
say"
The cottonwood telegraph poles used
on the line of the Southern Pacific Rail
road have sprouted, and give promise Of
supplying continuous line of shade
trees.
"If man you elect to Office goes back
on you," shouts Kearney, "knock his head
OFF, But the offender might prefer not
to be exskullpated in that way, says the
Graphic.
"What is the age OF your little boy!'
inquired venerable gentleman OF the
mother of an impertinent youngster. 1.-The
sauce age, of course replied the mother
The sage saw it.
Capt. Kennedy, a resident of Nueces
county, Texas, owns tract of land con-
| tanning $50 square miles, on which are
pastured $4,000 cattle, $4,000 horses and
mules, and 1000 hogs.
A variety of wheat, known in England,
as Hallett's pedigree wheat, the result of
careful selection, has heads six to eight
| inches in length, SLED throughout with
plump grains of more than average size.
A stranger was strolling about Costel-
los tannery, and accosted Pat Daily, the
bark grinder: rs there man here with
one eye by the name of Jerry McCarty?
whats the name of his other eyeI'
said Pat.
At a recent auction sale in South At
RIGA a pound of fine ostrich feathers
brought $33S.75. There is, therefore,
grave reasons to doubt the genuineness of
| an ostrich plume bought in Chicago for
| PA cents.
A man by the name of Colman, pat
| ron of the Lima, Wis, cheese factory, was
| caught watering his milk. The patrons
cIuded to let him off by losing the milk
| of one month.
| An appreciative mind can throw WORLD
IF pathos into very ordinary statement
Yes" said she, leaning over the fence, il
I communion with neighbOr, ''she is dead
She died just as she had got torn up tc
| clean house. 1t is terrible"
| Old John Jacob Astor used to receive
| letters threatening assassination, and pa
| pered the walls of his bedroom with
| them. 1t was his boast that even old
Satan himself couldn't scare a cent out of
him.
Statistics show that the actual con-
sumption of eggs in the United States is
about 100000 barrels. The poultry
marketed or consumed IN 1877 IS eStl-
mated at 6s0,000,000 pounds, Of the value
of S.000.000.
Schools of forestry are among the later
educational institutions of Europe. Ger
many has nine institutions where forestry
| is taught, and Austria, France, Italy, Rus
STA, Portugal, Spain and Sweden have
similar schools.
There is a young woman in Elmira, n
Y, with hair thirty-nine inches long. II
| she was only a man, what a superb corn
| doctor she would make! All man
needs to make him professional chiro
| podist is long hair.
The new cOlors of silk and ribbons are
| dragon and blue" "Khedive and China
| tea-rose," and "inseed and bronze" The
| only color not visible among the Paris
| bellies is the color of their money sc
Tades-people say, at least.
In the course Of June, 1878. there was
| consumed in Paris about 5000 tons Of
| beef, mutton, and veal; 200 tons of pork
1880 tons of fish; LOO tons of butter
| go tons Of cheese; $50 tons of oysters
62S tons of fruit; and 1905, 964 eggs.
do you not like to go to church," said
a lady to Mrs. Partington. Law me. |
| do replied Mrs. p Nothing does me
such good as to get up early on Sunday
morning and 90 to church and hear a pop
ular minister dispense with the gospel
This cottage for sail, was the sign or
a country residence. A stranger passing
| by asked woman who was standing in
the door when the cottage was to sail, tc
which she instantly replied, "As soon as
| anybody comes along who can raise the
wind"
A young man applied for the position
OF humorous paragrapher on new paper,
| and, when asked what qualifications he
| possessed for the duties, he replied that
he was born on All-Fools Day. and suf-
tered great deal with the toothache He
got it.
A Philadelphia reporter recently han
lied and priced all Jauauschek's Jewels,
and found them to be worth $150,O00.
Husband Pilot was standing by him all
the time. Curious to relate, Janauschek
mas as many Jewels now as she had before
the inspection.
Sheep skins form large item in the
commerce of the Cape Colony. The ship
ment there now reach about 100000
skins annually. 1t is chiefly, however,
the indigenous or half-breed sheep that
are killed, the merinoes being more valu-
able to keep for their wool.
Some one discussing with Lord Bea
conSticld the celebrated Salisbury circu-
lar, asked, How do you suppose the
Russians will construe that paragraph p
mentioning one in particular. They
won't construe it, expect replied our
Premier; they will decline it."
1t isn't paying the girls board that
Scares half the young men out of the mat
rimonial market; its simply the dread of
housekeeping in the future, with an addi-
tional burden in the shape Of a handsome
hired girl to support, without any ade-
Quatc return for the investment