davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1879-11-13
Why the Colonel Did Not Take His
Hat OF.

Coloyel Bangs is very bald, and in order
To induced his hair to grow again, he Is US
Ing a very excellent article called Hair
Vigor" upon his scalp. A shor, time since
he was summoned as a juryman upon a
case la the circuit court, and upon the day
OF the trial. just before the hour at which
the cour, met, he remembered that he had
not applied the "Vigor" to his head that
morning.
He had only few minutes TO spare, but
he flew upstairs, aud into the dark closet,
where he kept the bottle, and pouring some
fluid upon sponge, he rubbed his head
energetically. BY some mishap the colo
mel got hold OF the wrong bottle, and ~ @
substance with which he inundated Ii
scalp was not 'Vlgor," but the BLACK var
nish with which Mrs. Bangs decorated her
shoes.
However, Bangs did not perceive the
mistake, but darted down stairs, put on
his hat and walked of to the court room.
IL was very cold morning, and by the
time the colonel reached his destination
the varnish was stiff as a stone, his hat
glued fast to the skin. and his efforts to
take it off gave him trishttul pain.
just then he heard his name called by
the crier. He was wild with apprehension
OF coming trouble; but he took his seat in
the jury-bOx, and determined to explain
the situation to the court at the earliest
possible moment. Presently the clerk
/ screamed:
Hats of Ia court!'
The colonel grew crimson In the face.
Hats OFF, yelled the clerk again; and
the colonel was about TO reply, when the
judge came in, and, his eyes rested on
Bangs, he said:
Persons in the courtroom must remove
their hats"
Bangs-"May Il please your honor.
kept my hat on because-"
Judge-"Well, sir, you must take it of
now"
Bangs-"But say l kept it on because
Judge-"we don't want any arguments
upon the subject, sir. Remove the hat this
moment, sirl''
Bangs-'Judge, ii you viii only give me
a chance to"
Judge-''rhis Is intolerable! Do you
mean to insult the court, sir! Take your
hat of, sir. or I'll fine you for contemptr'
Banes-"Well, it's very hard can't say
a word by way of ex ="
Judge (warmly)-"This is too much !,
You've got more audacity than = mule
Mr.. Clerk, fine that man fifty dollars!
Deh69 'ubScp WIS 70 tchkh ch
l."
Judge (in a furious rage)-"Won't do it
yet? Why. you impudent scoundrei, |
have notion tO-Mr. Clerk, fine him one
hundred dollars more; aud, Mr.. Jones, you
GO and take that hat of BY force"
Then the tipstaff approached Bangs, and
hit the hat with his stick. Ii didn't move.
Then he struck it again. and caved In
the crown; but ii stin remained on Bangs
head. Then be picked up volume OF
Brown on Evidence" and mashed the
crown in fat. Then Bangs sprang at him.
and shaking his lst under the nose OF Jones
he shrieked:
You mutton-headed scullion! I've
half a notion to kill you. II that jackass
on the bench had any sense he could see
that the hat is glued fast. can't take it
Oh II wanted to-"
| Then the judge removed the fines, and
| excused him. and Bangs went home He
slept in that hat for . week; and, even
| when it came of, the top OF his head looked
| as black ss II modification had set it.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1879-11-13
The Stuff that Makes Good Men

a few years ago large drug firn' adver-
,ised for a boy. The next day the store
was crowded with applicants, among them
a queer-looking little fellow accompanied
By woman who proved To he his aunt, In
lien OF faithless parents, by whom he had
been abandoned. Looking at this little
waif, the merchant in the store said
Cant take him, places all foil besides,
he's too small
II know he's small said the woman.
"but he's willing aud faithful"
There was a twinkle In the boys eye
which made the merchant think again. A
partner in the firm volunteered to rrmarh
that he did not see that they wanted such
a boy-he wasn't bigger than a pint OF
cider" But after consultation the boy
was set to work. A few days later u call
was made on the BOYS IN the store Tor
some one to stay all night. The prompt
response Of the little fellow contrast.d
well with the reluctance uf others. In the
middle OF the night the merchant looked
In TO see If all was right in the store, and
presently discovered his youthful protege
busy scissoring labels.
What are you dolngI" said he, 81 did
not tell you to work nights"
IL know you did mt tell me so, but
thought might as well be doing some
thing.
In the morning the cashier got orders to
"double that boys wages, for he is will
ing"
Only few weeks elapsed before show
OF wild beasts passed through the streets,
and, very naturally, all hands in the store
rushed out to witness the spectacle. A
thief saw his opportunity and entered at
the rear door to seize something, but in a
twinkling found himself firmly clutched
BY the diminutiye clerk aforesaid and after
a struggle was captured. Not only was a
robbery prevented, but valuable articles
taken frsm other stores were recovered.
When asked by the merchant why he
stayed behind to watch when all others
quit their work. he replied, ''You told me
never to leave the store when others were
absent, and l though, I'd stay" Orders
were Immediately given once more,
"Double that boys wages; he is willing
and faithful"
To-day that boy is getting salary of
$500, and next January he will become
q member of the firm.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1879-11-13
})oetrp.
Those Personal Rows.

A NORTHERN DEMOCRAT EXPLAINS THE ro-
LITicAL MURDERS AT Tue SOUTH.
o, ysss, Their Is hangin' and shoo,ln';
But politics be>n't a thing
To DO with II. spite OF the iooiin'
And howls OF the Radekle Ring.
just study each case fer a minute.
OnpreJudiccd. aud you'll see how
They come TO begin II
And who mixes In it
It's alluz personal row.
This Dixon, Yaxooans couldn't sui, i'm;
They waited upon i'm one day
And promised they never would shoot i'm
II be would keep out OF the way,
All votes and all offices shuBnin'.
But he. with an obstinate vow,
Insisted on runin'.
Aud so they went gunnn'-
Twas merely n personal row.
Jedge Chissom' YaAs. He wux another.
He voted with niggers. they say,
And foolisbly said he he'd Father
Git killed n TO vote rother WAY.
Some two hundred souibernors caught him
The odds was immense. allow
They hustled and got i'm
To jail. and then shot i'm
Twas only personal row,
The Postmaster Nixf Wall, tn trigger.
II FASTENED the biznes- fer him,
fer Luther white won't hev no niSser
Disiribbit ma letters fer him.
II wasn't the Democrat, slew him
tBut dsrkey. doa't count ans howl;
A bulie, whixzet through I'm
When Luther spoke to 'im-
Twas plainly personal row.
What's that! You imagine It's curious
That dsTkcy- i- alux the ones
To Kit kiiledt Not AT all. They are furious.
An "a, right In frou; Of the gun-,
They maiden the scout and the ranger;
But II they vote with IT,. trow.
Aud not with the stranger,
They won't be Ia danger
OF hAyin' personal row,
Therc'd be no occasion To grumhie,
And the personal rows would be through.
II Radesles South would be humble
And vote cz the gentlemen do.
II black and white nlggers wux wiitin'
To vote ex their masters vote now,
Iwould md all the spilin'
OF blood. and the KILN;
And heal every personal row,
~. Y. Tribune.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1879-11-13

The Andre monument, which has been
raised in the old orchard on Andre hill, In
The town of Tappan, y. Y. has been set up
without public celebration. lt Is shaft
Of Maine granite. three ard a half feet
square aud five high. The Inscriptions are
a. follows on the west, south and north re-
spectlvely; the other side will be inscribed
at the centennial date next year:
Here died, October 2, l160, Maj. John
Andre, OF the British army; who, enteriHg
the American lines on a secret mission 10
Benedict Arnold, for the surrender of
West Point, was taken prisoner, tried, aud
condemned as u spy. His death, though
according to the stern code OF war, moved
even his enemies TO pity, and both armies
mOurued the tate OF one so young and so
brave. In 1921 his remains were received
at Westminster abbey. A hundred yeals
after his execution this stone was placed
above the spot where he lay, by citizen
OF the States against which he fought, not
90 lierpetuate the record OF strife, but In
token OF those better feelings which have
since united two nations one in race, Ia
language. and in religion, with the earnest
hope that this friendly union will never be
broken. ARTHUR PENgHYN STANLEY,
Dean OF Westminster. L.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1879-11-13

ARNoLps MISFORTUNE. - Burdette, of
the Burlington Haekeye, says OF Bene
diet Arnold -
He lived a century too early. this man
OF hateful and accursed memory. Had he
lived hundred years later he might have
committed treason most hateful, he might
have foresworn himself In national couu-
ellis, and drawn his sword against the eoun-
try that taught him 10 use 1t; he might
have plundered the national treasury, rob
bed the government of arsepals and stolen
its navy yards, fought for years against The
nag that waved over hts birth, and then.
A tainted name? A traitors doom? An
sccursed memory? A haunted, desolate
lifes oh no, Lord love you, supplemented
patriot, nothing of the sort. He would
come back and be elected TO Congress, he
would be Senator; he would run the gov
ernment, he would talk more loudly about
the Constitution he attempted to destroy
than the men who saved it; he would write
books and defy public opinion. and the
only thing about him to show that God
hated him would be his blighted eye. Ii
Benedict Arnold ever looks around this
planet and sees how Jefferson Davis is get
ting along, it must make him feel that he is
martyr and deeply Injured man."
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1879-11-13
"A Keokuk boy has built 4 small engine

"A Keokuk boy has built . small engine
or motor. which runs by the power OF Linn
burger cheese. The stronger the cheese
the stronger the engine runs. He thinks
he has struck big BONANZA and BY adding
. few onions and small quaDity Of board
ing house butter, enough strength will be
.,btaised to hold mule by the hind legs
while the smallest kind Of boy twists the
mules tail.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1879-11-13

There is a species of singing scorp-
ion found in the river bottoms of western
Texas. immediately after the birth Of her
young the female places them in a basket
shaped receptacle on her back, where they
al once attach themselves and begin suck
ing her blood. OF course, the mother sue
cumbs to this unfilial treatment, and begins
TO droop. The young ones are by this time
sufficiently nourished to demand more sub
stantial food, and they kill their mother and
devour her. Should one OF the young ones
become detached IRON the living nest. 1t is
at once killed and feasted upon by It's
mother. Thus it seems that while the fe-
male willingly sacrifices her life to her or
spring, yet she does not hesitate to kill
them should they be so devoid Of instinct
as to refuse TO remain where she places
them after birth. While this is going on
the male parent stands around as usual.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1879-11-13

"A newsboy whose face was SCARED
with scratches. and looked like map OF
some great railroad centre was asked what
the matter was "Feller spoke disrespect-
fui of my sister; said he'd bet she was
cross-eyed, aud sailed in us your SIS
ter cross-eyed7' .'Haint got no sister.
was the reply. 1T was the principle OF
the thing got licked for"
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1879-11-13

-Some gifted genius. who knows not
that he is the jailer Of poetic fancy such
IS Tennyson would give dollar for, re-
marks OF the weather last week, that Is
was 1.-THE tail Of summer stickin' through
the knothOIe Of the past.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1879-11-13

When Joaquin Miller sang. Love me
love, but breath Il low" he probably
thought the girl had been eating onions,
and the lower she bresthed the better.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-08-09
WOOL AND RS rROspECTs.
a Few Plata O~s.ss..ilon. ~ . saD.eri

LL EH"|LA
Wrsr LmEHrY August 7ttl, 1879.
Elllon intelligence.
teens 70 besettled beyond q doubt,
that wool has touched as'low q figure Is II
will for some time to come. It has lot 50
low that q great many sheep have been
sold for market, and people have found
the meat TO be more healthy than beef OF
pork. The demand for mutton sheep d
likely to increase. That with the market
bare OF woolens, II is likely to bring wool
mp. WsAaRe heatd much since by wool
buyers and circulars about farmers put.
ting their wool in good order; that. wash.
ed clear, tagged well and 50 omit will com.
mand a better price, and sell reader.
Now do they practice what they preach,
Do they make the proper discrimination,
II don't seem as though they do. They
will start out and gallop through the
country with all their tricks, and come to
one man that has his wool In good condi.
ton; pay him thirty.ive cents; go to his
neighbor, who has washed in q mud hole,
and the wool full Of sand and dirt, pay
him thirty-Gve cents and go ahead. Now,
Is that not paying a premium on dirty
wool. There arc many farmers that would
put their wool in good order, and glad Ia
do so, II Just Determinations were made,
As long as things remain as theyare, there
il no encouragement.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-08-09

never keep 1t open alter he had dug 1t.
He built no complicated and costly locks
and attempted no snowy ieats Of engineer
ID, building deep broad channel straight
through from Sod TO sea. That is just
what he intsnds 10 doin Central America
II 3 i plain, eombiontSense problem %
dig straight through the summit Some.
thing over two hundred feet in It's highest
partJ and carry the dirt out at both ends,
using 1t to build his harbors at either en-
trance Just as hedld at Suez aud Port Said.
by employing steam nayyies or excaya'
tons, with lines Of railroad 70 carry the
dirt away, the work will be greatly has
tened. And then they point out the adj
vantages to be derived to commerce from
btlngiDg teas and spices across the Isthmus
OF Darien. thus avoiding the injurious
effect Of the terrible heat these articles re-
ceive in crossing the Isthmus Of suez.
But still with all these advantages in
view, the New York merchants do not
show their faith in the enterprise by sub.
scribing for any Of the stock. In fact, no.
body subscribes. The books were thrown
open for subscriptions in "a large, richly
irescoed apartment" with furniture "of
the costliest and most elaborate descrip-
ton" and tables groaning under piles of
advertisements and prospeCtuses Of the
company printed on the finest white
paper and in clear, handsome type, set
ting forth the financial merits Of the
scheme and the almost absolute certainty
of its ultimate success" But nOtwith.
standing these allurements, there was a
noticeable absence Of investors. In TACT,
1t is said, not q single dollar Of American
capital was subscribed. The New York
managers OF the company now say they
did not expect much supportin New York
anyhow that sin any case the bulk Of
the capital will come from Europe" They
say further, that the splendid reputation
Of NJ. de Lesseps, and the triumphant sue
cess Of his first enterprise, have won the
confidence Of the Continental public and
investors, Suez Canal stock, which in its
time was successfully decried by the Brit
ish government and sneered at by the
English investors, is now worth l44 cents
on the dollar, while its SOO.franc bonds
are sold on the Paris Dourse for sos and
567 francs cash,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-08-09
Let Them nrnm 10 q,

Judge J, ]. Jackson left last Saturday
for the Bethesda Springs at Waukesha,
Wis, to recuperate his health, considera.
bly, undermined by severe and continuous
labor Of late. From there he will 20,
about August 25, TO North Carolina. IA
visit the gold mines there, where be ha,
extensive Interests, and will return Ia
Wheeling in time 70 commence the tenn
Of Court there, September lst. The Judee
has performed Ggood deal Of ardnous Ia.
Dor during The pER year and bentitled 70
aresptts. We t1As that his trip will be a
pleasant and profitable one. We believe
that Judge Ca1Bdeu Is now there, AMI 4
there are any Wisconsin Judges who have
Soy miHEtTngs about the stamina, pluck
SaA Earring qualities Of our West Vir.
Enaa peSS, vt them try and draw to it,
R~Es1&gy journal,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-08-09

TnE coIored peopleof Memphis have is
sued an address to the people Of the Uni
ted States, giving their reasons for retu-
sing to go into camp, and appealing for
contributions OF money to enable them. 10
dwell in the city. They assert that it is
not necessary for them to go into camp, as
the fever does not originate among them,
and they are in n measure exempt from its
rayages; but they are threatened with a
doom more terrible than the yellow fever,
and that is death by starvation ~ They
say further that the city authorities will
give them no food unless they remove
from the city md go into camp in the
country, and they call upon the people Of
the land to send them money.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-08-09

P~ARxERsBCRG wants theice harbor, which
Congress proposes to build at the mouth
OF the M~uskingum. II is said the amount
appropriated for the MusEingum harbor
$4,000 is totally insufficient, and that the
natural facilities Of the KNnawha at Par.
kersburS. are much better adapted to the
purpose. The Stub Journal says the only
obstacle to be overcome is the Hanawha
bridge, which spans the stream at that
city, which could be converted into a
draw at u triting expense.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-08-09

SECRETARY sciuiiz has commenced the
preparation Of his speech which will be
delivered in German at Cincinnati and
other points in Ohio. While it will treat
largely on the financial question, 1t is said,
he proposes to discuss come Of the leading
National issues which more directly inter
est thO German population,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-08-09

Mn. WILLIAM HESDERsON, WHO lives
near Roney's Point, in this county, resent
ly left at this olicol some samples Of this
years Fultz and ClAusCn wheat, raised by
him, which are the best that have cone
under our notice this season.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-08-09
Randolph County School Levy.

BEVERLY. W. Va, August 9, 1870.
Editors IntSllEsneer:
We had avery hard contest for the
school levy in this district, and the friends
Of the schools thought that they had lost
it before the votes were counted, but the
count gave It small majority. Ali the
Stalwart Democrats voted and worked
against 1t, but failed. One old Democrat,
who smelt strong Of tangleleg, said, before
the vote was counted, that they had voted
it down, and now he wanted to vote "0ld
Norman SCHOOL, down, too.
Yours, &c, FoR Levy.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-08-09
SPECIAL NOTICES.
"a CARD-

To ali who are suffering from the enron and Indl
%eretiOns Of youth, nervous weakness, carly decay, los
Of manhood, de-, l will Dend a recipe that will cur,
you, FREE OF CHARGE. This great remedy va
discovered by a missionary In South America. sent
q Seli-sddreossd envelope TO the REv. JosKPu 7. Ii
NAN, SGitoa D, Me- TOrk CITY.
dai9TfhSAW
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-08-09

NJ. De LEssErs' scheme for u canal
across the DOrien isthmus does not ap-
pearto boom among the capitalists. The
Pope has blessed it, and 1t has the ap.
proyal Of a host Of engineers and scientific
people, but subscribers arc timorous. Re.
ports from New York state the subscrip-
ton books have. been opened and leading
city merchants, such US Griunell, Mint.
tern 4 Co, and others, endorse the canal
project Aerbally, with great enthusiasm,
but they do not subscribe for any shares.
They profess to see no danger to American
interests fromis being in the hands OF
foreign engineers aud capitalists. la case
Improves u failure, they say it will be bet.
ter thatthe ~slOo,O0GlOOOor slS6OOO,oo6 ne
Qpired should come out OF foreign pockets
than hat it should be Withdrawn fromthe
active trade Of this country. II, on the
other hand, the canal proves s success.
the United StatesaEe amply strong eagaEh
to compel respect Tor their Interests o. he
part Of any foreign government OF cse,-
bination Of gOvernments. The talk sbyat
the Monroe doctrine and American a.4s.
ests, they say, comes from the polaiaaas
at Washington who are alter reNnaezI.
and who care absolutely nothing IN Gs
american commerce." Whose weAaats
they profess to have 50 much a. heart Be
Iesseps, they say, is on the right .,aec
HealOne Of all those engineers Wbo sss
making such a fuss Over this matter has
built an inter-Oceanic canal, andhas made
1t a magnificent success. lie hal, 10 eoa-
tend against al sorts Of influences stop
age q work, lick ottuudS. hostiliyotEur-
land and the Sultan, b esheering Of hos.
tile engineers who declared that he could
never dig his ditch thrOngGth sands, and
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-08-09

PasOaS turin0 Io,rn for he Naaon, and Sun.
mn turdert, co, hare TaE DAltN lSFEtll;
aEScER mailed 10 l.aa, postpaid, MrgSeqn
pr month, he aRira1 being changed as glH
a. dcirei.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-08-09

Not so fast, my friend; iorif you would
see the strong, healthy, blooming men
women and children that have been raisel
from beds Of sickness, suffering and al
most death, by the use Of Hop Bitters, yot
would say, '"Truth, glorious truth" SET
Truths" in another column. Laughlir
Bros: & Co, Wholesale Agents, Wheel
ing, W, Va,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1879-08-09

TIM Norfolk Tiyinian has been collect.
ing some statistics, Of the business Of that
city. II shows that Sl,75l,G45 81 worth Of
truck was shipped from that port during
1878; that the oyster trade reaches the
value OF ~$S5O,OOO, aud gives employment
to $500 people; that as a peanut port it
ranks first, aud as q point for cotton ship
ment third among the cities Of the Union.