Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-05-31
Scene: At st. Petersburg

Life i'm Russia Just Now,
Scene: At st. Petersburg.
Jan1t0r-l can't stand this any longer, sir:
don't mind doing the duties ordinarily expected
OF one IN my position, but cannot be on watcl
an the tWenty-four hours to see that the Mill
lsts oon't stick revolutionary posters On the
. I5on. VANS. I've gone eleven nights withou,
Proprietcr-But, my poor Ivan Ivanovitch, /
olo not make the law which all owners OF
500 to obey Tor e
premises, and imprisonment II the offence is re-
peated. Here, drink this coffee-it will KEEP
you awake: Tonight 1 will go on watch and
Jan1tor-Thanks, my good master; your
nooiy considerable conduct lends me renewed
Gan hour later the janitor comes into break.
Proprietor Todleben! where have you
been? Why, man, there is a revolutionary
placard pasted on your back!
Janitor-Is there? / suppose / must have
closed my eyes for minute or two. They have
Keen eye for business, those Nihilists. Let's
Proprietor-No; don't tear 1t up, because
some OF the fragments might be found and we
might be sent to Siberia. Burn 1t up, coat and
ali-Pll give you new one. Now, go back to
your post, and for the love Of Heaven do not
(The 1anitor returns The proprietor watches
him from the window, and whenever he mods
e then Ivan " 1he Idn KEEP
Oficiai-We have come to search the prem.
iseS.
Proprietor-But, Count. 1 belong to no asso.
citation; l am merely peaceful citizen who
passes his days and nights watching to see that
his Waterman doesn't fall asleep.
Ofhcial-I have General GourkO'S orders TIC
enter your house and see that you have no con-
cealed arms.
Proprietor have is an old shotgun with.
Oficial-The Nihilists could easily furnish you
those. Your shotgun Is conflscated and you
may thank your lucky stars that you get Off SO
easily. What's In that drawer?
Representatives..
Official-Knives! / conf1scate them.
PrOprietor-But, Prince, they are table knives
and to night give dinner party.my daugh-
Of1icial-You must eat with your fingers, that's
Proprietor-But, Grand Duke, how are we to
carve the fowls?
Offleial-Tear 'em In pieces, or bite out chunks
it'll all be IN the family. Where's your bed
room?
Proprietor-Here, your Imperial Excellency,
to be sent to Siberia.
worth the trouble, for here Is a razor which In
the practiced hands Of desperate man might
be used to STAY the whole imperial family.
Will confiscate the razor.
disadvantages, and the unhappy man forgets
all the trials and troubles OF the day. At the
dessert, just as he Is about to propose the health
OF the soon to be welded pair, he receives a
note cOuched In these terms):
You are traitor! You have to-day given up
to the tyrants the arms In your possession.
You have therefore been doomed to death by
Yours respectfully,
THE EXECUTIVE COMMITTEES,
per Tomski Collinsovitch.
Proprietor tearing his ha1r)-There! That's
all that was lacking to make 1t complete. Read
that!
His Future son-in- Law-You were wrong,
sir; there is good deal to be said on both Sides
PrOprietOr-WrOng! was 1? Perhaps you are
Nihilist? with bitter sarcasm)
His Future Son-1n- Law have the honor to
be the chief of Section 217 and don't care who
His Daughter-Yes, pa, and that is why I
lo-ho-hove him. casts herself into her lovers
Proprietor Merciful Heaven. are you Nj
hilist too, PaulOvno?
His Daughter-Yes, pa, and 80 are my sisters
and my cousins and my aunts.
All the Guests-And so are we-al1 of us.
Proprietor-I Will denounce you to the au-
thOr1tieS-can the police.
His Future Son-in-L aw-If you utter one
word will fire this train and blow up the
house, which we had mined as a precaution
lest the police should make descent on us
while we were at dinner.
PTopr1etOr-And here / have been passing
my days and nights keeping watch on my jan
itOr.
Omnes-Your janitor! Ho, no! Look out OF
the window and see what your Janitor is doing.
Pr0pr1etor-May be knOuted and sent to ST.
IBERIA If my janitOr isn't covering the whole
front Of the house with f0ur-sheet revolution
airy posters!! Faints.)-tNeW York World.