The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1879-03-13
STANDARD PARAGRAPHS.


STANDARD PARAGRAPHS.
Who can fill Shere Ali's place Yakool
Khan.
Pope Leo graciously permits the ladie
. to kiss his foot.
President Hayes SIS entitled to wear
pigtail, as a badge of honor.
"Ah mel' sighed the bachelor, chow
lonely am A lass, a lass !"
"An (hic) mother greatrun on a bank,
said Blifkins, as he tumbled into ditch
Col. Ingersoll is going to lecture on
Job. The lecture will be a sort of put-ur
job
A man should not attempt to estimate
his own worth He might have to "sell
short"
There can be nothing longer than
eternity, unless it be a session of the Ohio
Legislature.
There are two Democratic Presidents
now out of employment-Jef. Davis and
Sam. Tilden.
Why is it that Democrat hates any
law which has for its object the purity OF
the ballot box q?
Mr.. Thurman will not, perhaps, wear
the portrait of JEFF. Davis on his shirt
front yet awhile.
Ohio Dem ocrats prefer Rice to Bishop,
because the former lost leg, and the
latter only lost grocery.
The way to knock the breath out OF a
Democratic Congressman is to say posse
comitatus" to him.
Mr.. Lamar oughtn't to have fooled
with Northern sentiment. We could
have told him it was loaded.
The first thing the Prime Minister of
Hayti does when he gets up in the morn
ing, is to inquire who is President.
Now the physician pensively watches
the hot-house. and prays for greater vigor
in the growth of the cucumber.
Carl Schurz is going to get married.
We s'pose that's the reason he hung onto
that Indian Bureau so tenaciously.
1t is not the radicals who are constant
ly brin ging the name OF JEFF. Davis before
the public 1t is Mr. Davis hotheaded
friends.
While Mr.. Neal was voting to exclude
the pagan Chinee, some of his fellow
citizens of Ironton were being arraigned
for cock fighting.
1t is reported that General NJ cClellan
is marching on the Presidency. But the
General will fail, for lack of reinforce
ments.
A Kentucky Congressman is accused of
attempting the life of General Garfield.
He sent the General a bottle of Kentucky
whisky.
The tendency of the Democratic ma
jority in Congress, was to make an ass of
ITSELF The aim of some of the Republi
can members was to try to beat it.
With Pappy Taft as a standard bearer
there will be no 'stalwart"-no "sore-
head" But there will be tremendous
lot of Republicans.
This weather is the delight of the fruit
tree fend, and he is volunteering infor-
nation, right and left, as to the only
proper way to trim fruit-trees.
An old bachelor says that a woman will
an hour, to convince you that she hasn't
time to stop for five minutes.
Our Democratic friends should not be-
come respondent Mr. Ewing is still
laboring earnestly for the repeal of the
Resumption Act.
When Senator Chandler went at the
traitors, he made the fur fly. 1t remind
ed one of the days of honest old Ben.
Wade.
Let California secede, Mr.. President
Let her go. Then haul in the Pacific
Railroad, from the East end. This would
at least keep Dennis Kearney at home.
Talk about woman's tears melting the
heart" said Smith, thoughtfully feeling
his bald head, II tell you, woman can
accomplish anything by tears. This poor
head was made bare by woman's tearing"
Gov. Bishop has quit figuring on the
number of counties in which he will run
ahead of his ticket, and is now trying to
find somebody that isn't going to vote
for him.
Yes, Bro. Nichols, we're in the ranks,
and we have copy of Beatty's caucus
speech pasted in our hat Steady there
in the rear rank Don't tread on our
heels
A Youngstown, Ohio man aged seventy
FIVE remembers events that occurred
when he was two years old. With the
exception of Col Pelton, he has probably
the most vivid memory in this country
There has been another eruption of
ashes from Mount Vesuvius" And we
might add, there has been an eruption of
birthstone from glorious old Zach Chand-
Ter.
The Democrats in Congress propose to
pass bill repeating the Election Laws,
and if the President vetoes it, they pro
pose to stop the machinery of Govern.
ment. Let US pray for the solidity of the
Presidents backbone