Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-04-03
Rogers nose, which was altoeether II

4 Rogers nose, which was .ltoeether IL
}, prominent and too tender for the e,-
? posure it had been subjected to durin.
: the previous bitter night; aud when til,
S room was warmed up and tie nose bega,
! to thaw out, howl Of anguish aros,
from poor Jack, which it was pitiful t.
hear, and which once more bought tear!
8 to the eyes of the sympathetic widow
s The practical little lady b,stled about
however, and soon prepared an ungent'
. composed Of equal parts d resin and
beeswax, melted together-and which
? valuable recipe was neutrality-suspicious..
: ly-which she applied with hesr own fair
hands to the frozen organ, All, who
l would not have endured the fr>st- bites of
forty winter nights, and who would not
, have frozen his nose, and hisears, and
all his toes, to be attended by nurse so
: charming!
Jack, albeit his pain was sd intense.
: was not the man upon whom 9 tender
care could be bestowed without appre-
} citation, and so, while soft, white hand
: applied bandage to his face and q
} tapering little arm rested VI on his
shoulder } he breathed gentle s4h, and
signing, said:
Alas, that my nose might be brewer
troze, and that your form might slways
thus hover around mel"
"And why should it not, dear Jack %
she replied, with reference to the kover-
ing form, and not the frozen nose.
cit should, sweet Lamar, if you
would but say the word," said Jack
again, with his mournful sigh.
~ would say any word to please my
noble Jack" she answered, nesting her
head, with its grest glory of brown hair,
upon his broad shoulder.
Then it is yes?' suggested Jack.
"Then it is yes" repeated the Lamar.
And 80 it was that when the whole force
OF boarders came in body, to learn the
condition Of the frozen nose, they were
amazed to behold that Jacks arm encir-
cled the plump little widow, and that
her head reposod vvuhdinsly u,, Ills
shoulder.
cts scandal!' exclaimed Miss
Prudence Prim, who had herself been
! this long time weaving a web for Jack.
cts 4 derned imposition!" said the
male boarders, as they stared each other
in the face and left the room.
cts a freeze-out!" dolefully OBJ
served Bob Carter; and SO, wagging his
head in sorrowful way he walked from
the Widows presence forever.
"Jackie," she said, after a pause,
lifting her face with an arch expr ession,
/" I've been thinking that our Christmas
dinner would answer quite we'll for
wedding feast. There's the turkey, and
the plum pudding, and mince pies, al.
ready in store; and Pm sure there could
not be better day for better deed.
Gas 3 matter of economy" said Jack,
" l consider that a capital idea. Let the
good day and the good dinner go to.
gether."
SO a mutual friend was dispatched to
ferret out the clerk of the probate court:
second mutual friend sought clergy
man, and numerous other mutual friends
were pressed into the service Of alrang-
ing Jacks wardrobe, and getting him in in
proper trim for the occasion. Such
rushing to and fro, and gathering a
tailor and barber, and bootblack, had
not been seen in many day. Every
ones brain was in whirl of excitement
and confusion, but out of all the disor-
der they emerged at last, and Jack pre-
sented an appearance that wasa credit to
his attentive dressmen.
But the widow-ah! the widow! How
the bustling, busy body spread havoc
among muslin, and linen, and embroid-
cry, and tilagree work that morning!
This garment was too short in the skirt,
or too low in the neck, or too full in the
back; another did not fit her, or did not
become her, or did not suit her notion in
some thrilling detail; and SO she went
through long list of articles which are
too sacred for public mention, until at
last she sat down and folded her chubby
hands, and fretted, and cried, as women /
always do: and declared she would never J.
be able to get through with it. But she {
aid; for the maids laughed at her, and
wheedled her, and coaxed her until Sic
finally realized thai the time was eetti,g
short, and then, sly fox, she submittd
without murmur, and allowed herself
to be arrayed in as handsome an outfit
as ever decked bride.
And such bride! 0 Hymen! such
bride! No rose ever put to blush
sweeter face than that which bloomea
among the laces, and ribbons, and flow.
ers; no stars ever outshone brighter
Pair of eyes than those which cleaned
through the folds of the bridal veil: no
sculptor ever carved from alabaster such
arms and such shoulders, so white and
plump and rounding. How many =
lonely bachelor stood spellbound in the
presence Of her beauty and her charms,
and sighed and wished that heaven had
sent him such widow.
The hour came, and with it come the
minister and the many friends of the
happy, pair who had been hastily sum-
moned to the marriage feast And so it
was that while the bells rang out all
over the world that day, from many
tower and steeple; aud while the savory
odor from the multitudinous roast tur.
keys and aromatic perfumes from a great
most OF plum puddings foated upon the.
slr like an incense, Jack and the widow,
land in hand, passed out of the old life
INTO the new. Jack forever renounced
lis Dictatorship, and the widow was
widow no more.
The feast was right royal one, and
'|en 'Ao "lulsteI, VINO naQ learned the
acts, related the story Of Jacks nasal
Misfortune and the circumstances Of his
'rlet courtship, there was much merri-
nent around the board. But there were
10 bounds to the enthusiasm when, every
class being filed from great bowl Of
gg-nog that graced the table, Jack him.
elf arose beside the blushing bride, and
proposed toast: "To the Frozen Nose
hat Won Widow"
How Rabelais Deadhead ed It.
The learned and famous Frenchnlan,
u. Rabelais, once found himself in
darseilles without money. He wished
0 travel to Paris, hut Guild not vvn-
rive way to do 50. At last, however.
le bit upon plan.
he started, one first of April, carry
ng with him some full phials labeled
Poison for the King and Royal Fam {
~" At the city gates, according tothe
ustom in those days the traveller vas s
earched, and these suspicious-looking {
'Ottles were found. "a he intended Tbo s