The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1879-07-17
PTTH AND POINT.


JONAH was the first man to go a fish in.
How TO mark table-linen-Upset the
gravy.
Music hath charms to soothe the saw
age. This is why we occasionally see
cross dog with brass band around his
neck.
IT was little Scotch girl of who,
upon being asked whether she would
marry or remain single, said, Neither;
/ shall be widow
A CLOCK having struck the hour of l,
tender-hearted woman exclaimed /:
sob! what cruel clock!' Why SOP"
asked friend. Because it struck its
little onel"
COPPER is coined for exclusively re-
ligious purposes. 1t enables man to
feel he has contributed to the spread of
the gospel without drawing too largely
on his income.
TONGUE cannot tell nor words express
the establishment of the crippled soldier
in Connecticut who awoke to find his
wife using his wooden leg to pound the
beefsteak for breakfast.
CHILD pointing to bronze group
representing terrific combat between
a lion and crocodile)-"Whata are those
things doing, PAP" Father Talking
politics, my dear.'-Par1s paper.
"WILL the boy who threw the red
pepper on the stove please come up
here and get present of nice book2"
said Sunday school superintendent in
Iowa; but the boy never moved. He
was far-seeing boy.
IL man works for a week and gets
nothing for his labor he takes it for bad
luck and says nothing; but when he
spends five minutes in sharpening a
lead pencil and the point breaks off he
swears like a mailman.
A COUNTRY clergyman was a good
deal astonished one day by the jollity
of the mourners at the breakfast" of a
funeral, and was gravely told, in expia-
nation, Bless you, sir, they're not
laughing only assembling their gEief.
THERE'S no smoking allowed!"
The conductor exclaimed
GIm not smoking aloud
He gently explained,
"For noiselessly puff my cigar"
-H1ckensdck Republican.
COMING back from a little trip to
Hayre, a Partisan thus bewailed his
| misfortune to a railway companion {:
@One thing is certain, you won't catch
me on any more of these excursions.
have lost my wife and my cane" And
then he added, with tears in his eyes,
"And it was a new cane, tool"
.s..tf- -r.-,. AT TOLEDO. .-rt-..
| And now the gay and festive frog
Within the marsh is seen; t...
The loafer seeks sunny spot
Upon the village green;
The trade in patent liver-pills
| Becomes steady thing:
| The rhymer with pens;ve air
Indites an ode 10 spring.
Toledo Commercial.
A NOTED sharper, wishing to ingra-
tiate himself with clergyman, said :
"Parson, I should like to hear you
preach more than I can tell you.
"Well," responded the clergyman, if
you had been where you ought to have
been last Sunday, you would have heard
me-" "Where was that?" asked the
sharper. "In the county jail, was the
reply.
"WHAr made you quit the East? ?"
said man in Nevada to newcomer.
az got into trouble by marrying two
wives" was the response. swell" said
| the other, at came out here because I
got into trouble by marrying only one
wife" "And l." added a bystander,
"came here because got into trouble
simply by promising to marry one."
SHE was really charming, and seemed
to enjoy very much the quail on toast"
until her pearly teeth struck a couple OF
shot, then her countenance changed, her
expression became wrathy, and she said.
at is too mean that they leave those
nasty shot in the birds" "Why," said
he, "they are good for the digestion"
eyes" said she, "they may be, but I
don't want to die jest that way!"-Dan-
bury Ne,cS.
PRoFEssoR-"Y You will repeat the
lesson on the battle of Bunker Hill. +"
Student latter long and painful ST.
lence)-'Please, sir, 1 can't" Professor
with frown)-"Why not?" Student
(timidly)- Because I have been de-
ceiyed," Professor (astonished)-" In
| what way?" Student (humbly)-"I have
always been told that history repeats it
self, and so I didn't trouble t. study the
lesson p-RockIa'ad Courier.