The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-02-27

PASSING SMILES.

MAN is made-tier upon tier-of fac
ulties, the nature of every one of which
points toward happiness.
A MAN without imagination or wit is
like wagon without springs. Every
rut gives him disagreeable jostle.
To dislike the fruit is to dislike the
tree it grows on, therefore, we do most
dearly love those who like our fruit.
LAWYERS are never more earnest than
when they work with will-that is, if
the estate is valuable.
AMERICAN hams that don't find a
market are sent to Europe and bring
high price as Westfailure hams.
MEN can paint pictures without pal
cite or brush. They can work out of
their own souls light for every
occupation.
In this world there is thousand
times more pleasure than pain, and ten
thousand times more happiness than
trouble.
PAIN seems to be rather the spurring
of nature, to tell man he has gone off
the track of happiness, and to bring him
back again.
Noman while unhappy can show forth
a true, notable manhood. Everything
short of cheer is medicinal, and medi-
cine was not made for daily use.
Do the duty which lies nearest to
thee, which ttou knowest to be duty;
thy second duty will have already
become clearer, rf... 5.-.
WHEN your captious neighbor tells
you there is no such thing as.an honest
man, you may be sure he is himself
knave. rs &C. ---E-
The ice in some of the down East
rivers is so thick that when taken
out there won't be any water left.-Bos-
ton Post.
DIR. HOLMES says that crying widows
marry first. Not very smart thing to
say; for how could they be widows
without marrying frst.-PhiLadelphia
Bulletin.
He who makes a man laugh twice
where he would only laugh once, is a
greater benfactor than he who makes
two blades of grass grow where but one
grew before.
Alcohol will clean out the inside of
an inkstand. 1t will also clean out the
inside of a pocketbook a little more
else on record.
WHEN man owes debt and refuses
to pay more than half of it, he calls the
arrangement a compromise with his
creditors. The creditors call it swim
dle.-Ne'0 Orleans Picayune.
IT may seem a little late to express
sympathy, but if Job eyer had ripe
and blooming boil fair and square on
his Adams apple, he has our heartiest
coincidence Wheeling Leader.
Mr.. GEORGE CAKE has been arrested
in Los Angeles for hammering three
men with club. Sort of batter-Cake,
as it were.-Erchdnge We should call
him pound Cake.-Norristoa0r Herald.
MARY JANE WADLEIaH, of Sutton,
has one hundred pet cats, and when one
of them dies it is buried and its grave
marked by neat monument. Miss
Wadleigh never has been married.
A MAN to be envied is Mr.. Mann, of
Troy. His father gave him one hun
dred thousand dollars on his marriage
day, and another hundred thousand
dollars when he was elected to the
Assembly.
A REALLY neat tramp, when he puts
| q piece of custard pie in his pocket, al
ways places the outside or crust rim in
first, allowing the central point of the
triangle to gracefully hang over the
edge, after the manner of bandana
handkerchief.-New Haven Register.
AFTER the unique and cautious ver-
dict rendered recently by coroner s
jury at Tunbridge Wells, all disbe-
levers in the jury system should be
converted. The verdict was: "The
child was sufocated, but there is no
evidence to show that the suffocat ton
was before or after death" ."-Louisrillt
! Courier Journal.
SOFT, SOFT WIND.
Soft soft wind from out of the sweet South gliding
Wait thy silver cloud-webs athwart the summer
Thin, thin threads of mist on dewy fingers twining
Weave a veil of dappled gauze to shade my babe
Pour thyseH abroad, Lord, on earth, and air
Worn weary hearts within thy holy temple hiding
babe and me. s1I =-E
THESE nights, when the good citizen
sittetn in the house with his howitzel
ready to lombard the burglar, the editor
sleepeth sweetly in his little bed, with
doors and windows open. The wise
burglar knoweth full well that blood
cannot be squeezed out of turnip;
consequently he molesteth not the knight
of the quill.-Paris Tex.) Banner.
In primary school not long ago, the
teacher undertook to convey to her pu
pills an idea of the uses of the hyphen
She wrote on the blackboard Bird S
nest" and pointing to the hyphen asked
the school, "What is that for f' Aftel
a short pause little Fenian piped out
"Plaze, ma am, that's for the burd Il
roosht on"
LET us remember that intolerance il
the twin sister of ignorance. We can
not understand the pleasure which peo
pie take in blackening one another
The clever thing to do is to find ou
peoples merits. 1t is easy to discovel
foolish habits, modes of talk which ar,
} not agreeable, but to discern the ster
ling merit and kindness which is in s.
many human beings, does require mic
observation and kindly imagination.
The following will prove grea
saving of time to the young man VIII
has put his whole mind on to the color
. ing of a meerschaum: The bowl of
. meerschaum pipe may be colored in fiv
, minutes by first tinting it with solu
e ton of nitrate of silver in ether an
e alcohol, TO which essence of roses an
1 camphor are added. Figures of an
pattern are produced by the heat Q
the tobacco, and when produced are pei
' manent.
= A CONSCIENCE stricken Dutehma
8 named Fritz Stuhlmeller, from Rocl
r ford, put in an appearance at the Ill
I nois Penitentiary registering for on
| year. He was sentenced for soapin
9 beer barrels belonging to his employer
q the Rockford Brewery Company, fl
e some time past. Many of Rockford
q prominent citizens have exhibited sigr