The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-05-17
PASSING SMILES.

his way to school. 4r9fa
WHETHER old age is to be respected
or not depends much whether it applies
to men and women, or poultry.
EVERY manlikes fattery. 1t is pleas
ant to be told that wefare great, even if
We know him 10 be fool VINO tell us.
| In is said that Henry VIII never
popped the question. He married his
wives first and axcd them afterwards.
l. AN old lady. said she'd often seen
men struck. with happy thought, but
could never see where it hit EN-.
"a You can easily tell by mans coun-
tenanoe, whether his folks have got
through cleaning house or not.
Some people are so constituted as to
be unable to see anything beautiful in
this liie-not even in mirror. boston
Transcript
| IT is sometimes difficult to decide
which gives more pleasure, to Ihear'our-
selves praised or to, hear lothers run
down.
In Colorado card playing is quite sys
tematic. One player holds the cards,
the other holds n revolveri the coroner
holds the inquest. ,I saf
AN exchange declares that ga Pitts
burg milkman can pay $500 fines per
year for watering his milk, and then
make more money than Circuit
Judge" iissii onJ inAl i'se -
II the man whoiwil go into q barber,
shop on Saturday night or Sunday
morning and haye his hair cut hasn't
l'any enemies, he certainly ought to
have. uas aI8 f.aE ~ Il 4n.4
UPWARD, aud sarthward the baseball wings Its
And boys get stomach. blows while at the play;
The new-nade grave a stone with these words
"HofsiisGd q catch itl-aad so ont hegoes:sna y
Iiif yfa,ss --Neto FORK Express.
THE uniform Of the Zulu warrior
consists Df Il chest protector. There Is
an advantage in this; there are no coat
tails to impede ones progress while the
enemy are in pursuit. ~ s.'''i
| POVERTY is no sin.p According to
this how many of us have to enjoy the
beautiful religious privilege of leading
asinless life. Paupers and saints for
purity NC Gregor Ne1s. "a l7eilIif
We heard a man talking yesterday
about cigar SO long that he didn't
know where it ended. We can supply
the information. II ended like many Of
our schemes, in smoke Toledo CONNER
ciaL
A RUNAWAY horse and dog fight are
both interesting spectacles; but nothing
lends so much excitement, healthy
exercise and earnest profanity to the
man who has q fresh planted garden, ms
driving out his neighbours hens.
THE descendants of great men, many
of them, don't amount to much. Think
Of descendant of Carroll, Of Carrollton,
making off without paying his board,
and great nephew of Henry Clay
cheating his Observation-Disclosures
| Journal.
"WHAT.a beautiful baptismal font, ).
said a lady from the country, while in
specting furniture in one of our
palatial' stores. "That is flower
stand madam" responded the petite
clerk, as he smilingly brushed the hay
seed from her shawl. -Meridem Recorder.
A VERY pious old gentleman in east
ern Maine died recently, and left large
estate TO missionary society. He also
left the interest Of $1,000 10 his only
sister to aid her in paying her board at
the slmshouse.. Noble old man.-Bostoa
Post. s,
4 AMONG the names Of the many base
| ballists that have secured fame and
money by their achievements in the
diamond arena, we have never yet seen
the name Of the Prodigal Sob, yet the
fact stares posterity in the face that, he
was the first man to make home yum
Waterloo Observer,
| A RAW German who had been sum
moned for jury duty desired to pc
relieved, giving this reason: "Schudge,
/ can nich goot IngIish understand.
4 Looking over the crowded bar, the judge
replied: "a ooh, you can serve. You
won't have to understand good English ;
you won't hear any such here" ~
! IT has been proved that the strength,
care and thought expended by the
average housewife in coaxing weak
chested, hollow backed, consumptive
geranium up two inches would lit ton
weight three quarters Ola mile. and
raise q thousand dollar mortgage out OF
sight.-B rideep6rt Standard ~ = 1913
i A LAWYER in Delhi, N ", who was
employed by AL lady of Hancock to
collect an account, neglected to remit
the amount, and when a demand was
made on him for it, coolly said that the
whole amount was fifteen dollars less
! than his usual charge in such cases, but
seeing that his client was a woman he'd
callit square. All the, lawyer, did was
toIwrite to the debtor. u,.,, 49,,
THE Rochester Express mildly alludes
to a Utica sensation, in the shape of the
elopement of =" a piano tuner named
Peck--a little bow-legged, pale face,
goateed rooster-with a Mrs. Diedrick.
son, an antique pelican, wife of a band
leader."s Isn't the Egpress afraid of get
ting into "a Peck of trouble" by using
such language p Norristos0n Herald. q Z
Two hack MenIrup into each other at
night, and one, whose ohorse is killed
I.cites, the other before the tribunal
q When you had run into the complain
ants horse and knocked it down and run
over III y says the Court sternly, " VIII,
didn't you stop to see if any damage hat
been donef' f"Oh," replies the pcabby
: j" L didn't know it VASES horse I'd hur
III thought twas only 9, man" ,c,.f,
"PHAIREsT PHLoRA," wrote an amor
GUS youth VINO isisnitten with theSphc
lnetic crazes nphorevera dismiss you
phears, and phly with one whose phel
3 vent phancy is phixed On you alone
! tPhriends, phAHlily, phather-- phoFge
. them and think only Of the phelicity Q
the phuturel Phew Phellows are 3