, 1879-07-24
LITTLE IOHNNY's ANECDOTES.


Gotes buts and Uncle Ned he said: "John-
ny Que day there was a Rote In d field, n1,l It
took after Bdad, wict you better xplnin to yure
buftcd readers Ia tic new dog. DfIdal hs ran
toward hi fence for 10 at over, but tho cote 1t
cot him and bustcd him cruil on the tall, asld he
wirled over and oYcr, antl lit on the uther side
Of the fonco but d!dent kno It cos he wns be-
wl1dercd. and scrambled back over the fence
ngIn, lifcly a. he cnde, md the Rote It let him
have it other time, and wocked wav. Ddnd
he was stonisl, dog, and shuke hts he'd. much
as to say: Il never sec 30 many buttlgotes,
ono In cvry fccldl'"
II Was cote rather be a sheep, cos Eotcs
is MIXED, but sheep ia shLngled. md the ross Is
RED. aiil the yilets blu. But Billy he saYs let
him DO crackY die with frise1o teeth, aud
notehcs on ilis back like saw.
Mister Jonuicc, Wtcl has got the widen leg.
says thers die wcll WIS sho, and 1t wa8 in O
pond. MI. Jonnlco he set on tlo sdEo Of the
pond = watchln tho dilo swim, but the keeper hc
said, the keeper did: " Better look out for yurc
legs ar th,s e, ere dle + oower'!e tona Of legs
So Mieter Jonnce no tuke Of his wuden leg
and hid It, md wen the Kenor be cun, round
aEin? Mste, L J9nntee he ned: "you was rite
The kcpcr he looked nut, was aston'sh, md he
said: "Shant run for docktorl'
Then Mister Jonnice he tllnt vile, and bime
bv lie scd: "No, don't tllink l Wulg, not for
wt1s YET; ennv how piles is use to ovcreatio
The keeper he scd: You are the coolest man,
wots left Of you, whte,, have ever sa,y.''
Mister Jonnlre he scd: "Wet. I haya all ways
went on the principle its no use crrin for yurr
leE "a, but ldu be nifty oliged to you for drinl;
Wen Tic keeper ha, lrot 1t Mister Jopn.ce put
on his wuden lex aEIn, nfl1 was n standing up
looks at tl'c die. and The kcpcr be was aston-
ishcr than eycr. parttckler wen Mister Jouuice
sed hu had bcn standlng there q our and had
never sec him before
Ono ttnc there was q rinosy rose met q
catnlnIc, and 1t said, the rinosy rose did: "1f !
Ind seei, 1crcsccncc on ny. back ltks tl,atn Of
yonru ldo hav q operation pformed.'
The camnlc 1t Bcd: "Tatnt very pretty, shata'
o fack. but seems to rnc Yure nose lscnt lest the
kind wIci, ct to be turned up ns xeresencca."
Mater Pitched, tiats the preacher, he said: /:
lcnce, the ra1t!esnake, wict is risei, Is compel
for to wear z neck laca Of bones on ILLS tatl to
give notfcc.h
Uncle Ned he spoke up nnl he sed: "Jest 80,
JOHNNY, It was too much trouble for to not puf
the pzon lt, and the rattlcs Was the mex best
thing"
TIlcn my sisters yung mnn he scd: "Ycs,
johnny, them rattle l1onca Is nifty usetfe to tile
In to get away from the snakc.n
Ilen Mfster Glpple he sed, Mister Hlpple did:
"And you see} johnny, tho boy cOnatrlcster
wich atnt got anv ruttlos wnacnt 1ladr i,lzeM"
Then my father he spoke np md sed: ~
ltopc you p!nua foxes Will xcusa pore bntted IN.
fiddle for remarktn thAt proidunce las forgot TO
put emmy rRtttes on q wunan's ,ung.''
Aud now for story about ole CATER Peters.
One .lay lacIs DriY, wic! Is tho wicked sailor,
gwcars and everything, he WIS gon by old 1aI-
frcs house, a.l1 ha foun hin lsein we'll,
and a boy was nulfn up the rocks in i
bucket with Winlass. 81, jack he civ the
boy bits, null sct: "You no an,1 Fit aum
ca'idy. a,'d lie pull up for you tilt you Rt
back, fnsNl the boy dnne It. Then Jack le puts
hfs bull dog in tho bucket, and let tt down, md
tho dog 1t jump out in the wei With Gaiier,
wIch holcrea wild. nnd the dog too. Then
Jack ie cot ole Gutfurscs cat u.Hl pitch ihat
down, ton. and the dox tackled tic cat between
GafTerses legs and The cat run It up tiatlcr like
he was n tree, and all yeliiu' like ln1cns, thcre
wnsent never such q Gta! After \ Whla Jaclt
he let the bucket down and hnuld old CATER up
with the wlniaa, lookin nifty beat nud his Gloss
tore bad. Fore Cutler cud0 Get l,ts breth Inel.
srl: "Tell you wot, Gaffcr, II 1 hadcnt come
aiong yudu llad d pretty rough tins Ut 1t grs,
COS TINT boys ron Tor a other cat"
Then Gatfer he hclncd Jach cit the dog out
wlch had kid tile cat. lntl Jack anil the dog
thay went way, md won tho boy come In slte
Galfer he met him morn inlet way n,ltl licked
him til to was sick bed, and wen Billy he
sassed the scoohl master hc WAS licked, too,
yes, In deed, und matle bcller,