davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1879-09-18
A Ph1lOsOphic FIend.

81 should like to sell you gimlet," said a
care-worn looking man, as he walked into an
office the other day.
1--WE have no use for one," replied the
cashier.
'But you should always look into the misty
future" went on the fend demurely, ''next
winter you will want to make holes in your
boot heels, so you can get your skates on"
Il use club skates-no straps required"
"You may want to screw some boards to-
gether some time. The old fashioned method
of driving the screws in with hammer is
pernicious, as it deteriorates the tenacity of
the fangs of the screw. as it were"
''Nothing to-day, sir.'' -..
''This gimlet also acts as corkscrew."
II don't want it,"
''It also may be used as tack hammer, a
cigar-holder, and tooth BRUSH"
II don't want it."
''It has an eraser, pen, an inkstand,
table for computing compound interest, and
q lunch box attachment.
II can't help it; don't want it"
II know you don't, you're one OF those
mean men that won't buy gimlet unless it
has restaurant and trip through Europe
and an Italian Opera Company attached.
You're the kind of man who would live
near an electric light to save gas bill"
And the peddler walked out with his men
tai plumage on the perpendicular.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1879-09-18
Balky Horses.

A correspondent of the New York Tribune
gives the following as cure for refractory
horses:
My method with balky horses-and l think
it equally good in case of kicking or backing
in harness, or running away-bas proved very
successful with my team, requires but mo-
ment in its execution, and think is not in
the least inhumane. take a long string
(three-ply broom-twine, is the best,) long
enough to reach from the horses neck to the
carriage, fasten one end around the horses
neck in hard knot, 80 the loop will not slip,
bring the throat-latch through the loop to pre-
vent the string from working back on the
neck. When the horse bAlks do not strike at
or about him, but sit quietly in your seat and
pull on the string until you choke him. If
the horse is very stubborn you may have to
choke him severely, but he will be willing to
pull before he is choked down. Two or three
chokings will render him afraid to balk. I
tried this on my team last fall, and have had
no trouble with them since.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1879-09-18
A Pass Over The Marrow Gauge.
INDIANAPOLIS News.1

indianapolis News.1
Some weeks ago q railroad official of this
city went East on summer jaunt: Among
other places visited was Warren, Penn. He
had an annual pass over the "Warren & To-
nawanda Marrow Gauge Road" and thought
he would like to take ride. Now it appears
that once upon time some enterprising citi-
zens of Pennsylvania concluded to lay pipe
line for petroleum between these points and
applied to the Legislature for charter and
were refused. They then quietly engineered
a bill for the building of a narrow guage
road, which, not interfering with any oil
capitalists, went through. Having procured
the right of way and christened their oil line
"Warren & Tonawanda Narrow Guage Rail.
rail-" they carried the joke to the extent of
ssuing annual passes over the road, W hich
they sent to railroad officials all over the
country, receiving passes in return. The
traveller found the station at Warren nearly
all chimney, and the marrow gauge" an
iron-lined hole in the ground. He Is moved
to anger at the slightest reference to the
Warren g. Tonswanda q. g."
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1879-09-18
Love Making I'm Church.

Love at first sight in church, with Scrip
tural commentary, is illustrated in the local
columns of an Albany paper: One Sunday q
beautiful young gentleman happened to have
seat in a pew adjoining one in which q
lovely young lady was sitting. He was seized
with violent passion for the fair stranger,
and resolved to propose to her then and there.
SO he handed her Bible with pin stuck in
the following text:
''And now I beseech thee, lady, not as
though wrote new commandment unto
thee, but that which we had from the begin
ming, that we love one another" III. John,
The lady returned the book, pointing to
Ruth, H.. 10: ''Then she fell on her face,
and bowed herself to the ground, and said
unto him, why have found grace in thine
eyes, that thou shouldest take knowledge of
me, seeing am a stranger ?"
He handed it back with his finger on III.
John 10. IA: Il had many things to write,
but will not with ink and pen write unto
thee. But I trust that I shall shortly see
thee, and we shall speak face to face"
AS the result of this interview it is said that
marriage will take place in month or two.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1879-09-18
s.STUMPEKS."
Feats at PlOwing-A Home Spun Tale.
TBoston Herald.]

(BOSCOn ucI did,
1t is no use for an Eastern man to try to tell
big story when there is Western man
about Causeur has tried it and got beaten,
beaten clean out of sight. He thought
he could spin yarn that would test
any ones credulity, but he always found that
a Western man could 60 him one better.
''When l was young man." said Col. B,
1--WE lived in Illinois. The farm had been
well wooded, and the stumps were pretty
thick. But we put the corn in among them,
and managed to raise fair crop. The next
season l did my share of the plowing We
had 'sulky' plow, and sat in the seat and
managed the horses, four as handsome bays
as ever man drew rein over. One day
found stump right in my way. hated to
back out, so Just said word to the team,
and, if you'll believe it, they just walked that
plow right through that stump as though it
had been cheese" Not soul expressed sur
prise. But Major s. who had been a quiet
listener, remarked quietly, "It's curious, but
l had similar experience myself once. My
mother always made our clothes in those days
as we'll as the cloth they were made of. The
old lady was awful proud of her homespun-
said it was the strongest cloth in the State.
One day l had just plowed through white
oak stump in the way you speak. of, colonel.
But it was little too quick for me. 1t came
together before was out of the way, and
nipped the seat of my trousers. felt mean, I
can tell you, but | put the string on the
ponies, and, if you'll believe it, they just
snaked that stump out roots and ALL Some
thing had to gioe, you know"
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1879-09-18
Not Ready yet TO Die.

From Senator z Chambers speech at Machias, Maine
1t is said that the Republican party has full
filled it's mission, and ought to die. No party
is better prepared to die. On its monument
can be written that it has fulfilled every
pledge it has made to the American people.
Ought to die Thank you, gentlemen, we
have made other arrangements. 1t took the
country from the lowest of humiliation, and
raised it to the highest pinnacle of prosperity.
1t found the per cents worth 6S, and now
the 4 per cents are worth 102. It has built
the railroads which the country needed, and
it has improved the rivers and harbors. Of
these works labor has received the benefit.
The party saved the National life by redeem
ing its pledge, and it redeemed another on the
first of January, and saved the National hon
or. The panic of 1887 was worse than that
through which we have passed, but we got
down to hard pan in 1912, and an era of pros
perity ensued. Now 20 over the country,
and there is work for oil who want it The
wheel is turning, and nothing can stop it un-
less the people deliberately decide to tamper
with an honest dollar.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1879-09-18

A correspondent of the Philadelphia Press
writes from Chicla, Peru, 1920 feet above
the sea as follows:
Here am among the snow-capped peaks
of the Andes, acclimating myself for trip
over the mountains, whose highest point,
1850 feet. I intended to scale. Leaving
Lima this morning with party of officers,
came over the celebrated Oroya Railroad to
Matucana and thence by the light express to
this place, the present terminus of the road.
The building of this road was one of the
greatest undertakings the world has ever
known. 1t is only completed Sc miles and
cost $50, ,00O, 600. From the sea coast to the
summit of the Andes we passed through
forty-tour tunnels and over r,any high
bridges, one of them 300 feet high, the road
following the valley of the river Rimac,
crossing and recrossing it many times. From
Matucana to the top is nothing but success
ion of VS. rs and doublings. Some of these
places are truly frightful. AS you pass
around a mountain peak you can look for
thousands of feet below and still above you
can see the lofty peaks of the Andes. Even
here at Chicla we are still 5000 feet from
the top, and the railroad tunnel on the sum-
NIT will be over $4,000 feet above the sea.
Chicla is the highest railroad station and
within few feet of the highest city in the
world. In Lima Callao the ightest clothes
would be very comfortable, but up here l
wear double suit of heavy underclothing
and large Ulster. With all my clothes, l
am nearly freezing, and red hot stove close
by, at that. Less than week ago l was in
the tropical seas of the equator-quite a
change. Most people here are troubled with
what they call 'soroche," headache, nausea
and sometimes bleeding at the nose. month
and ears. The air is so rare that it is difficult
to breathe.
At the invitation of the roadmaster took
a ride with him down the road. We were
just ahead of the regular train, and we start
ed off like streak of lightning. have been
in good many tight places in my life, but
never in position to make my hair literally
stand on end as it did in coming down the
Andes on a hand-car. Starting among the
very clouds, down. down we came; disap
pearing like flash in a tunnel of pitchy
darkness and on to frail- looking iron bridge
over mighty gorge from 200 to 800 feet
deep. We stopped in long curved tunnel
to look at some work that was going on, and
did not hear the train in our rear until it was
in the tunnel. We could not lift the hand
car of, so we made spring for it, cut loose
the brake and made dash for our lives. |
And truly it looked so, for she came in full |
view before we were we'll across the gorge :;
and on she came at the rate of mile q |
minute, but we were going by this time much |
faster than that and in short time we left her |
far behind. We reached Matucana, twenty
:hree miles from Cbicla, in safety, but since
come to think it all over, I would hardly
1are to try it again.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1879-09-18
A Triangular Railroad Race.

Southern Dakota, says the Springfield Re-
publican, is the scene of railroad war simi-
lar to that which has made Colorado famous,
though 1t has not yet come to bloOdshed. 1t
is for the possession of the fertile Niobrara
valley, which extends some 800 miles west
from-the Missouri river at Yankton along the
border of Debraska and Dakota towards the
Black Hills. The possession of the valley
involves the gain Of large land grant and
the future traffic of the gold fields. The race
is triangular, the parties being the St. Paul
and Sioux City, the Milwaukee and St. Paul,
and the Southern Dakota roads, the last
named being the property of John l. Blair,
the New Jersey millionaire and Iowa railroad
king. Blair is said to be worth from $780,
600 900 to $50, ,O00, 900, to own SOC, 600 acres
of land in Iowa and Nebraska. to have ad-
vanced in money for the roads which he has
built at the West no less than $50, 600, 900,
and not to have issued a bond in all these
operations Charles Scribner, the New York
publisher, is his son-in-law. The St. Paul
and Sioux City folks were intending to build
q line across Dakota on certain parallel,
when the Milwaukee and st. Paul people
coolly took possession of that route ahead of
them. While they were thus engaged Blair
stepped into their direct line, west of fank
ton, but was soon discovered, and the race
began. With such haste did the Milwaukee
people set out to overhaul him, that they laid
their rails without surveying in advance. A
large party was sent ahead to locate the line
in front of Blair if possible, but at last &C
counts he was 48 hours in the van, and likely
to maintain the lead. The people of the
Black Hills region await the advent OF one
party or the other with the lively interest
which naturally attends the prospect OF
reunion with civilization.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1879-09-18
SONG OF THE BLOODY SHIRT.

"Me boy me boy! me lovely boy!
Behold yon flag that waves 80 free,
1t is the emblem of our might
Protects and shelters you and me.
Observe it well. and tell papa
Whose flag is it, my little MANI"
The child looked up and then replied,
"Republican! Republican!w
'Once more me boy, me lovely boy,
Look at those stripes and heavenly stars,
And say who tore them from their staff,
And in their place hung stars and bars p
The child looked up with earnest eyes,
As on his fathers knee he sat,
And said, Who'd pull that old flag down
Unless 1t was Confederate 2"
you're right, me boy! me noble boy!
1t was the Confederate hand
That stripped the old flag from it's staff,
And drenched in blood our native land.
The same hand lit rebellion's torch,
And reared full many freeman's grave.
They love not y0nder starry flag
Would still reshackle former slaves"
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1879-09-18
THE RIVER OF LIFE.

The more we live, more brief appear
Our lifes succeeding stages;
A day to childhood seems year,
And years like passing ages.
The gladstone current of our youth,
Ere passion yet disorders.
Steals lingering like river smooth
Along its grassy borders.
But as the careworn cheek grows wan,
And sorrows shafts fly thicker,
Ye st arg, that measure life to man,
Why seem your courses quicker?
When joys have lost their bloom and breath,
And life itself is vapid.
Why, as we near the Falls of Death,
Feel we its tide more rapid?
1t may be strange, yet who would change
Times course to slower speeding,
When one by one our friends are gone
And left our bosoms bleeding?
Heaven gives our years of fading strength
Indemnifying fleetness;
And those of youth, a seeming length
Proportioned to their sweetness.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1879-09-18
CREEPING UP THE STAIRS.

In the softly falling twilight
OF weary, weary day,
With quiet step entered
Where the children were at play;
/ was broOding DER some trouble,
That had met me unaWares,
When little voice came ringing,
''Me is creepin' up the stairs"
All! it touched the tenderest heart-string
With breath and force divine,
And such melodies awakened
AS words can ne'er etine;
And turned to see your darling,
All forgetful of my cares,
When saw the little creature
Slowly creeping up the stairs.
Step by step she bravely clambered
On her little hands and knees,
Keeping up constant chattering
Like a magpie in the trees,
Till at last she reached the topmost,
When DER all her worlds affairs
She, delighted, stood victor,
After creeping up the stairs.
Painting heart. behold all image
Of mans brief and struggling life.
When best prizes must be captured,
With noble, earnest strife;
Onward, upward reaching ever,
Bending to the weight of cares,
Hoping, fearing, still expecting,
We 60 creeping up the stairs.
On their steps may be no carpet,
By their side may be no rail,
Hands and knees may often pain US
And the heart may almost fail;
Still above there is the glory
Which no sinfulness impaira,
With the rest and JOY forever,
After creeping up the stairs.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1879-09-18
A CObbler'S Wish.

When the Emperor Charles V was in Brus-
sells, in 1888, be found, as he walked the
streets unattended, that one of his boots want
ed mending He knocked at cobbler's door.
1t happened to be the eve of st. Crispin's day,
and the cobbler and his friends were reyeling.
''Friend,' said the man laughing, "Where
have you been born not to know st. Crispin's
day? If you were Carl the Kaiser himself, l
would not sew stitch for you. Come in and
have glass, and we'll be merry as emperors
Charles sat down at once and took his wine,
as the others did. The cobbler proposed the
health of Charles V. ''Do you like him ?"
asked the Emperor. 'Do like Long Nose
OF course l do; but should like him better
if he lowered our taxes" When the Emperor
took leave, he thanked his host, who would
not work, even for an emperor, on st. Girls
pins eve. Next day Charles sent for the cob
bier. When the poor man recognized his
guest he grew pale and trembled. Charles
again thanked him for his hospitality, and
told him to ask for what he most desired, and
it should be his. He begged and got a day to
think the matter over. When he returned at
the set time, his request was that the cobblers
of Flanders might thence forth bear for their
arms boot with an emperor's crown upon it.
This was granted, and Charles desired him to
ask again. ''Let it be decreed," said he, ''that
n future the company of cobblers shall take
precedence of the company of shoe-makers." !"
It was so ordered, and both customs prevail
at the present time in Flanders. The cobbler
would accept nothing for himself. Charles
' expired September 81. 1868, in the fifty
ninth year of his age, leaving behind him the
reputation of having been the greatest mon
arch, one of the ablest military commanders,
and perhaps the wisest, but yet most bigoted
statesmen, of his time. His early years were
passed in Flanders, where he was also edu-
Gated Correspondence Of the Troy Times.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1879-09-18

The Hay crop In Illinois this year amounts
to 2, 2,578, 736 tons, raised on 2,161, 760 acres,
and is worth at an average price to the pro-
ducers Of $6.37 per ton, $18, 428, ,O12. The
average yield was from one to one and one
fifth tons per acre.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1879-09-18

TIVE Austin Statesnsan says 1t is asserted
there are 206 newspapers in Texas, but no
body ever counted them. They flash mp and
60 oct like freflies, and are quite as brilliant.
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-05-08
The Remarkable ship Invented by an
English Clergyman.
The English Mechanic.

For the last six years the Rev. @. NJ.
Ramus, rector of East Guildeford and
Plsyden, England, has held his invention
of the polysphenic ship st the disposal
of the Admiralty. This vessel, it is cal
cUlated, will skim the seas at the rate of
forty miles an hour or more. The word
"skim" discloses the secret of the idea,
for the invention is mainly based on the
fact that if q vessel can be made by the
mere force with which it moves to ride
over the waves instead of driving
through them, there is pTinaa facis evil
dence to believe that 8 much higher
speed than anything yet reached will be
achieved. The principle of Mr.. Rsmus'
invention consists n making the bottom
OF the vessel series of inclined planes.
In 1872 Mr.. Ramus made model, hav-
ing its bottom composed of two parallel
and consecutive inclined planes; or the
vessel nay be described as made up of
two wedges, the thick ends of which are
| placed abaft the thin ends There is thus
in the center of the vessel ridge where
| the thin end of the sternmost wedge
| &buts against the thick end of the fore
most. Any floating body thus shaped
must, when driven forcibly through the
water, tend to rise, and if the speed il
high enough it will rise on the surface
instead of driving through the water
These facts were demonstrated by some
rough experiments made in the presencG
of credible witnesses. The propelline
power in these experiments was a ak
ounce rocket. In one trial the model
weighing three pounds three ounces, raj
q distance of 105 yards in three seconds
In another it ran $50 feet in four ant
one half seconds, the water being ripplet
by strong breeze, but in spite of thi
the deck was found to be dry. Tn
principle underlying these models ma,
be taken advantage of to construc
wedge-shaped ships, for it has been dem
onstrated that the resistance to sue
J vessels, which at first increases about q
the square of their velocity, decreases s
J the speed is augmented, until after
J certain period there is no further increas
of resistance. Given the required ma
: chinery, then, for propelling the poly
sphenic ship, and there seems ever
probability that speeds OF forty miles q
hour or more can be attained,
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-05-08
The White HOuse.

The White House is the greatest resiL
dence in America. 1t has cost more
money than the Stewart mansion, on
Fifth avenue, New York-Or, with its
reiurnishing, etc, about
81, 700 600. The original cost, in 1892,
was about $433 900 it was begun in that
year, occupied in 1900, re- built in 1915,
re~occupied in 1918, and it's porticos COM
pleted as late as 1929. The East-Toom
was finished only fifty years ago. Every
one of the Presidents except Washington,
has lived in this great house, and ne has
pOked his horses head into its portal to
look up at the workmen plsstering on
the scshold. An Irish architect named
Herbert. direct from Dublin via Charles.
ton, took the award of FIVE hundred dol
lars for the design and he built and re.
built it, and lies buried in a Catholic
cemetery near. His descendants are
respectable citizens and lawyers of the
place. A building for private residence
of one hundred and seventy-nine feet
front by sixty eight feet deep, with one
room In it eighty by forty, may YET
attract republican attention; its vesti
bule within the front door is alone fifty
by forty feet. Twenty acres OF garden
aud park Immediately inclose it, and or
either side, each separated by only -four
hundred and fifty feet, are building
which cost from 81 100000 to $12, O0O,
600 apiece. Yet, in all its apparent an
tiquity, how newt The lawn is still 6
naked plain, reaching of to the PotemaC
like 8 desert, coming to the palace stairs
Like Versailles in the time of Louis
XIV, Washington is a government
creation, and this White House is hOaTy
only by events. The Presidents Office
which is in the second story, IS also the
CAbinet>room, and is not very large
apartment for the White House
although about thirty-fve or forty teer
in depth by, perhaps, thirty feet wide
and with a high ceiling. A long table
is in the middle of the floor, with leather
seated chairs around it. The two win
dows have long lambrequin curtains of 1
dark blush gray color. A large map o
the United States is on the wall. Th'
carpet is of a red tint, with large figures
The general effect of the room, as on
enters, is that of library without books