The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1879-01-04

A NOISY fellow annoys a fellow.-N.
Y. Commercial.
PRIzE-FIGHTERs show each other
marked attention.
WHEN Ham was sick was he cured by
smoking.-N Y Nail
WE shall soon see the boy mounte-
bank with his sled.-N. T. Mail
DEARLY love my sweet art, said the
enthusiastic confectioner.-BeSton IRAN
script.
TIE sleighing is excellent-the STAY
ing Of livery horses on credit.--Ch'cdgo
Times.
4 GROWING nuisance THE New
foundland pup next door.-A0Trlst0acn
Herald
ANYBODY can catch cold now. The
trouble IS to let go again, like the man
who caught the bear.
A YOUNG man with his first goatee
may be said to have a tuft time of it.
Glasgow (ky.) Times.
BROOKLYN has converted banjo
ist," and New York is clamoring for a
converted piano FOUNDER.
He that hath no music in his sole is
fit for usher, undertaken, table waiter or
some such thing.-Rome Sentinel
IT cannot be that g all flesh is grass
Grass gets its dew-about the only thing
that does in this world.-Harifofd Jour.
Mrs. PARTINGToN declares that she
does not wish to vote, as she fears she
could not stand the electrical franchise.
! AN Irishman tells of fight in which
| there was only one whole nose left in the
whole crowd, and that belonged to the
! tea-kettle."
/ IN the bright lexicon of the modern
farmer there is no such word as fail.
All the threshing is done by machinery.
! -L0tceU Courier.
Two hundred and nine lawyers in
| congress? Good gracious? Is it any
wonder they talk Of brief session.
Net2 York Express.
ARCTIC explorers, instead of blubber-
/ ing over the unctious viands peculiar to
the Polar regions, are rather disposed to
make light of them.
"Don't you feel nice when, after hav-
ing lost your collar-button, and bought
4 new one, 70 find the old one in your
boot? "-Lynn Reporter.
4 SOUTH N0RwALK halter has chewed
tobacco a great number of years without
1 any injury to himself, having begged
! the tobacco Connecticut Poper.
A FRIEND of ours says she enjoyed
her trip to Europe immensely. The
sunsets we're SO stylish-such fashionable
colors. nghaat0n Republican.
In Paris when any one in the theatre
laughs heartily the rest of the audience
/ M Cys Il Il Mo
Joke. No joke! He laughs for payw
4 DOLL that swims has come out
E.UchGngs. 1t was about time it did
come out. The weather has become
too cold for such INSTRUMENTATION
/ Herald
AN obvious improvement on Shake
! speare: Cry havoc, and let loose the
eats If war" They viii be much more
likely TO come up to the scratch than
dogs will.
| IN the land Of the Kaffirs eight cows
! will purchase a man a wife; and what
IS still better in some instances, she may
be disposed of at the same price.-Buf-
! fGi0 Express.
COUNTERFEIT pennies have appeared
in Detroit. This is a diabolical scheme
| to defraud the printers-and compel 'em
| to GO to church to get rid of the bogus
/ stuff-N0rTisto10n Htraid
A PIECE of court plaster on a pretty
girls cheek is very much out of place;
but II don't improve matters any when
her young man goes home at II o'clock
with it on the end of his nose.
"TALK about Vanderbilt's four tracks
from Albany to Buffalo," said a newly
arrived tramp this morning, "why, I've
got as many as sixteen thousand between
| Syracuse and Utica. y Utica ObserUer.
THERE is nothing which fills the soul
of young man with CONSERVATION so
much as to take his best girl to prayer
meeting and have the pastor call upon
"our stranger friend for a few remarks
and prayer"
AT the menagerie: Visitor" How
old are these elephants?" Keeper
Nearly twenty years old, sir" Visi-
tor" All, | see; they are yet in their
elephantines." His money was returned.
| = Utica ObssrUer.
/ IT would be better not to interfere
with the late Robert WhittaSer's wills.
There are too many to break. He was
a Philadelphia millionaire Three have
/ already been discovered and more coun-
! ties are to be heard from-New York
/ Telegraph.
WHEN man dies suddenly, without
the aid Of the physician" the coroner
must be called IN. If a man dies regu-
larry, after being treated by doctor,
everybody knows why he died and the
coroner inquest is not necessary.
Orleans Pjcayune.
! HEARTLEss SCIENTIST Miss Adelina.
permit nae to ask your acceptance of my
hand" Gushing maidea a %, Profes-
sor-so sudden" Hessrtless scientist
| proceeding =" My-err-handbook of
the Buddhist psychology and ethnology
| Puck.
| SINCE the death of Tcyant the New
York Post has assumeGs q higher and
broader tone. 1t now a1akes Jokes on
Or. Mary Walkers tropssers. No won
der Mr.. Croly, late of IT, Graphic, says
the tone OF New York jc1rnalism is too
high Tor the readers in et.at city.-Nor-
uich Herald
The papers tell the mGurnful story of
a Nova Scotian who was recently scalped
and rendered entirely bald by a load of
bricks dropped from ladder. The care
less hod carrier will probably be sued
for damages by the hairless cod harrier
-Ne29 York Graphic.