Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1879-07-21
THE LIGHTNING-RoD DISPENSER.
A Farm BALLAD.-BY WILL CARLTON.

With a poem in his motions. with sermon in his
mien.
With hands as white at lilies. and face uncommon
clean.
No wrinkles had his vestments, and his linen gstened
white,
And his newconstructed necktie was an interesting
sight;
Which almost wished his razor had made red that
white-skinned throat,
And the new-constructed necktie had composed a
hangman's knot,
Ere he brought his sleek-trimmed carcass for my
women folks to see,
And his rip-saw tongue buzzin for to gouge a cash
In me.
But couldn't help but like him-as always think
must
The gold of my doctrines in fellow heap of dust
When l fred my own opinions at this person, round
by round,
They drew answering volley. of very similar
sound
touched him on religion, and the hopes my heart
had known;
He said he'd had experiences quite similar of his
told him of the doubtins that made dark my early
years;
He had laid awake till morning with that same old
breed of fears.
told him of the rough path hoped to heaven to go;
He was that very ladder only just round below.
told him of my visions of the sinfulness Of gain
He had seen the setsame pcters though not quite
clear and PLAIN.
Our politics was different, and at first he CALLED and
WINGED;
1t was getting towards the middle Of hungry sum-
mer's day;
There was dinner on the table, and asked him would
he stay?
And he sat down among everlasting trim and neat,
And asked Short crisp blessing almost good enough
to eat;
Then he fired up on the mercies of our great eternal
Friend,
And gave the Lord Almighty good hrst-class recon-
mend;
And for fall hour we listened to the sugar-coated
scamp,
Talking like a blessed angel-eatlng like a blasted
tramp.
My wife. she liked the stranger smiling on him warm
and sweet
Ut always iatters women, when their guests are
the eat),
And he hinted that ladies' never lose their early
charms,
And kissed her latest baby, and received it his
My and daughters liked him. for he had progress
i've views,
And chewed the quid of fancy, and gave down the
latest news.
And couldn't help but like him, as l fear always
must
The gold OF my DOCTRINES IN fellow-heap of dust.
He was spreading desolaton through piece of apple
pie,
When he paused and looked upon us with tear in
his off-eye,
Aud said. "Oh, happy family l-your blessings make
me sad
You call to mind the dear ones that in happier days
had;
little girl with ringlets like that one over there.
l worshipped them too blindly my eyes with love
were dmi
God took them to his own heart, and now worship
Him.
But had not neglected the means within my way.
Then they might still be living and loving to-day.
zone night there came tempest the thunderpeals
were dire;
The clouds that tamped above US were shooting bolts
ofnre;
In my own house. 1, lying was thinking to my blame,
When crash Through roof and ceiling the deadly
lightning cleft.
And killed my wife and children, and only was left.
"Snce that dread time I've wandered and naught for
life have cared,
Save to save Others loved ones whose lives have yet
been spared;
Since then. it is my mission. where'er by sorrow
tossed,
To sell to yrtuOus people. good lightning rods--at
cost.
With and strong protection I'll clothe your build
ings DER,
Twill cost you fifty dollars (perhaps trihe more);
What little else it to lowest price I'll put
(You signing this agreement to pay much per
foop"
signed 1t, while my family all approving stood about;
And dropped tear upon it-but didn't blot it
That very day with wagons came some men both great
and small;
They climbed upon my buildings just as if they owned
them all
They hacked 'em, and they hewed 'em, much agains
my loud desires,
They trimmed 'em with their gewgaws and they bounC
'em down with wires;
They trimmed em and they wired 'em, and they trim
med aud wired em still,
And every precious minute kept running up the bill
My soft-spoken guest a-seekng did rave and rush
and run;
He was supping with a neighbor, just three mil,
further on.
DO you think" 1 Aercely shouted, .rhat want
mile O. wire
To save each separate haycock out O. heavens col
suming fire;
Do you think to keep my buildings safe from som,
uncertain harm,
I'm going to deed you all the balance OF my farm?
He looked up quite astonished with face devoid @
guile,
And he pointed to the contract with u reassurin
smile;
1t was the first occasion that he disagreed with me
But he held me to that paper with frmness sad t
see;
And for that thunder story ere the rascal finally wen
paid two hundred dollars if paid single cent.
And IL any lightnin'-rodder wants dinner dialogue
With the restaurant department Of an enterprisin
| dog
Let him set his mill runnin' just inside m outsid
| gate,
And Ill bet tive hundred dollars that he won't hay
| long to wait.
| There are very monv trua o1J nobI