Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1879-12-19

OLD WORLD NARETIES.-How very
consohng A woman of the people is re-
lating her troubles to neighbor, who
tries TO calm her little
Yes, | know woman must expect to
be beaten, but not ever day, though !"
Since his return to Paris, Prince Napo-
leon has not broken the silence which he
has resolved to maintain, in spite of the
expectant Bonapartists. Lately he had
occasion to require the services of den
tist
prince, said the man of the forceps,
''open your mouth. But Plon Plon an
swered:
Never
lady, whose husband is humpbacked,
and who is not very well shaped herself,
lately gave birth to child, also afflicted
with dorsal protuberance
Decidedly, it must be in the blood, 3"
said relative
'.Alas, no, retorted the papa, ''it's in
the back
A citizen of moderate views, who hap
pened to be present at banquet of French
radicals, was talking politics with his
neighbor-an extremist from the word go
and with Indignation recalled the mas
sacre of Dominican monks at Arcueil.
"All that, coldly replied the radical,
''is the fault Of the priests
''What the fault of the priests p
Certainly (; if there weren't any, no.
body could shoot theml''
The inhabitants OF Marseilles have the
reputation in France of being arrant
braggarts nothing happens but Mar
seilles can show up something more won
derful.
Poor v" said doctor to Marseil-
lais, has become so fat that he cannot
pass through a door-opening"
The child Of the Mediterranean, not to
be outdone, answers:
''And / have an uncle who is SO fat that
he cannot get into Marseilles ''
A child shows its mother the engraving
OF an Indian in state of antediluvian
nudity.
81 thought, mamma, that the sayages
were covered with feathers"
''Very true, my child, but this one"
''Ah l see it's because he's mOult-
ing"
Madame de x Is known to be fond of
the sterner sex, and very changeable in
her inclinations.
The other day her husband rushes into
the Office of his family physician, and
cries, all out of breath
doctor, my wife has Just had a weak
ness"
And the other, mischievously
''For whom 2"
Sign copied in the Rue Montmartre
Arthur Daniel,
MOEEY-CHAEGER.
And to the left of the shop is lettered in
gold
l. 1l1e absurd man IS ne who never changes
hgelina is standing on the pier with
Edward. A sailor is leaning over the
hling Angelina-"Dear Edward do
you smell tho delightfully."- peculiar odor
Of the sea ?"
Sailor" 'Tisn't the sea, marin, it's the
sewer, which empties near here.
Ingots of wisdom from Paris
The difference between the age of TWEEN
ty and the age Of fifty consists solely in
this:
AT twenty the women make a fool of
you, but you don't know it.
AT fifty they make fool of you, and
you know 1t.
Some people are so stuckup that they
would almost rather have you do them an
evil turn than owe you good one.
'Is he rich = asked the tourist. Yes, y
replied the sexton. Il guess he is pretty
wealthy, at least he never puts any more
than ten cents into the plate Sunday
morning. Huntington Hatokeye.
During the past summer a young
Frenchman proposed to his wife to take
little tour in Switzerland "What is there
Switzerland ?" asked the ingenious fair.
"What is there in Switzerland ?" echoed
her husband why there is the most
wonderful scenery in the world-lofty
mountain peaks tipped with rosy snow,
verdant wales, sleeping lakes, and"
''Oh, bother your sleeping lakes" cried
she ''take me somewhere where there
are shops to buy things at r