Louisiana capitolian., 1879-12-13

They were talking of u death, when
ono man asked: "What were his last
wordsw "IIe didn't say anything" was
the reply. "That's just like him." said
tho first man with an approving nod.
"There was no gas about him. He was
all'busincss."
10 take me to the Exposition y
In accents wild she cried:
While he In calmness reached around
And drew her to his side
Then put her neck within his arm,
OF course with her volition,
And said. 'My love, consider this
To bs q ncck's position"
She made the clerk tumble over all
the stockings in the store, and objected
that none of chem were long enough.
81 want" she said, "the longest hose
that are made.' "Then, madam" was
the reply, "you had better apply at the
next engine house,
At country singing school two beaux
stepped, hat in hand, up to the same
belle, asking tho pleasure of her COM
pany. "Both bowers" she remarked,
as she slipped her hand through the
crook of Jakc's arm. "Tm the left
bower" moodily piped Jonas "Yes, but
You can 90 alone now," she replied.
Two young men, out riding, were
passing farmhouse where n farmer
was trying to harness an obstinate mule.
"Won't he draw I" asked one of the
young men. "Of COURSE" said the
farmer, "hc'tI draw the attention of
every fool that passes this way" The
young men drove on.
A genuine Irish bull is something that
cannot be successfully initiated. Sir
Poole Roche made one of the best we
have ever seen when he said: Gentle
men, single misfortunes never come
alone, and have always noticed that
when the greatest misfortune happens
it is Slways followed by ono much
greater"
'Pa," asked q little girl of her father,
as he led her past q sample room down
town, "what sort of place is this y
"a foundry said he. "What do they
do in therc7' was her next question.
"Wcll, men who 90 in there are gener-
orally found dry, and when they drink
too much and misbchavc they are cast
out" The little girl laughed ironically.
A Baltimore man, while cleaning his
toe-nails in an open window, a few days
ago, fell to the ground and was instantly
killed. This is no doubt terrible ac-
cident, and yet there are people who
9will go right in the face of the facts in
this case cleaning their toe-nails, in
utter hcedlessncss of their danger, and
in defiance of the warning of Providence.
"You are all alone here" asked a
man of the clerk in Cincinnati cigar
store" Receiving an affirmative answer,
he continued, "Wbat would you do if a
thief should grab this box and run
swayg" The clerk replied that he
would lettho rascal escape rather than
risk the money drawer to a possible raid
"Thcn I'll be going" the man finally
remarked, as he tucked the box under
his coat and hastily departed.
"Things which are equal to the samt
thing are equal to each other" said the
professor of mathematics, enunciating
the well known axiom in geometry. AL
the class said "yes, sir" but one boy
and he had full-grown interrogation
point in the corners of both eyes, "Well
James," said the Professor Suppose
you turn the coal into steam." ''WellF
"It would take twenty times that much
coal to make ton, but ten pounds o
steam would make cargo
"Thosc suspeuders, madam, are long
enough for the shortest boy, or shor
enough for the longest man; they vii
just fit your youngster." perhaps so
but don't want to sew buttons on hi
bootlegs, want them to hold his pant
on. Them suspenders is long enougl
for the Colossus of Rhodes" "Just so
madam; l sold old Coloss pair out o
the same box yesterday" The matrol
admired his familiarity with historical
characters, but waited till a cooler da,