Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1879-05-20
MIS- CELLANE0U
POPKINS VS.. HOPKINS.

SSh. POPhlNS was bachelor. | men
Gaas tiou this fact with all due reverence for
the name and sympathy for the condition.
He was well-to>do in the world, if owning a
foe farm aud being plaintiff in law suit is
any criterion. Aside from Mr.. Pnpkins'
misfortune in being bachelor, he had one
fault-a general aversion to Miss Sallie
| Hopkins, the defendant in the above named
law suit.
Now be it known that though Miss SAL
| lies name was-.put down on the list of o.
1 Ms, Old Maids1 she was the roundest. CO.
siest, dimpled checked spinster that ever
lived in Lincoln. She had the softest ewes
with trick of looking down and peeping
under the lashes, perfectly bewildering, and
her hair waved and shone in tie sunlight in
such manner that susceptible lad like YOU
and me would have felt an irresistible desire
to have the sole ownership of the nut
brown locks"
But however fascinating Miss Sal.ie was
to the sex in general, as have said between
her and Mr.. POpkins there was a deadly feud
and the cause of all the trouble was a meadow
spreading far ard wide and unconscious be.
tween Miss Salles and Mr.. Popkin's farm.
Now the truth of the matter was this {:
The meadow justly belonged to Mr. Popk ins,
but instead of going to Miss Sallie and state
the case, he must serve process of law.
Miss Sallie few ell to pieces and declared
that she would maintain her rights at any
cost.
l am confident from the manner in which
the whole thing ended, that Rad Mr.. Hop
kins gone himself, she would have relin-
quished it gracefully, but a woman has a
mortal horror Of being forced to do anything.
Tie thread around their necks. feed them
with sugar plums. and you can lead them to
the jumping off place. Go to drive them,
and for obstinacy. they will beat Mark
Twain,s mule in the Holy Land all to pieces.
When Miss Sallie met Mr.. Popkins on the
street her nose was decidedly "retrouse," and
! Mr.. Popkins looked like an automatou Car
| diff giant. The neighbors were forced to
take part 10 this case, for when invitations
were issued for the regular tea parties those
who invited Mr.. Popkins were compelled to
omit Miss Salie.
But in the meantime the law suit dragged
its slow length along from session TO session
! and from term to term. until Popkius versus
| Hopkins was as familiar as A. B. C. But
fate had taken in hand the destiny of these
two obstinate individuals. and soon brought
matters to a most satisfactory conclusion, al
though the unconscious mediator was a bur-
lesque on the high tragedy daily enacted.
There lived close to these beligerents q
good natured old man, nearly as deaf ss q
| post, who had the greatest faculty of blun>
| dering on unfortunate facts, of any individual
known either in ancient or modern history.
| He never heard anything correctly. and it
was an impossibility TO try TO explain for you
would fnd yourself foundering about 10 q
perfect slough of despair.
Miss Sallie aud Mr.. Popkius had received
notice that their case would come mp for
final hearing, in Harrow, on Tuesday of the
next week Miss Sallie concluded to take
the stage; Uncle Ben Draper our deaf friend,
had business little distance on the road i,
and he would rake the stage, too, and Mr..
| Popkins' saddle horse fell sick just as he was
needed. and no time for any other arrange
| ance.
Miss Sallie came floating down to the gate
with white ribbons aud bows and dainty
dress, sufficient to bewilder q man with as
stony heart as the sphynx, and saw, ap.
preaching from the opposite side. her foe in
| immaculate broadcloth and shirt front. For
a moment the color rushed to her cheeks
and she half resolved to go back but to be
| outdone by mau and he a Popkins, was NOT
to be thought os. So she got into the coach
with an air of sixteen Queen Victorias, eIeya,
ting her head until it made an acute angle
| with her nose, and became sublimely uncon,
scious of any ones presence. Mr.. PopkiDs
seated himself as If he had swallowed whole
foundry aud had his pockets full Of eggs for