The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-10-09
nULTUM IN PARvo.
MARRIAGE is often a mirage.

AUA1Om xAnvVs
MARRIAGE is often mirage.
The people who have no aim in life
do the most shooting.
A SWITCH in time saves nine bows
out of ten.-Cdmden Post.
A MOTTO which milkmen should
heed-"Let well enough alone. oil
city Derrick.
WOMEN should always avoid exhibit
ing bad temper. None of them care to
show their rage.
The average person who asks to be
clothed with humility, thinks of it only
as under-clothing.-N. o. Picayune.
"WHAr's eggs this mornings" Eggs,
of course says the dealer. "Well,''
says the customer, "Pm glad of it, for
the last I bought of you were all
chickens"
AN auctioneer was endeavorinp to
sell fowling-piece, and failing to get
a bid, by-stander who had read the
papers said, blow in the muzzle and
it will go Off"
BURNEr, Tex, has profession ant
killer. The Unborn propensity to kill
something, that springs eternal in the
Texan breast, must be satisfied, you
know.-Boston Transcript.
VERY innocently an Irish newspaper
concludes its account of an imposing
ceremony: "Thc procession was very
fine, being nearly two miles long, as
was also the prayer of the Rev. Mr.. Nc
Fadden."
ASTRONOMERS find that the anoma.
listic year is twenty-five minutes longer
than the tropical year, on account OF
the procession of the equinoxes. The
only way to remedy that is to stop the
procession.
WOMEN somehow get over childish
notions that men never outgrow. Some
men celebrate the anniversary of
every birthday as long as they live,
while women quit doing so almost a.
soon as they grow up.
NEws-D1spATcHERs are becoming
too laconic. Here comes an item from
Switzerland about flash of lightning
that killed farmer and cow he was
milking, and not word about whether
it curdled the milk or not.-Chicdg0
Tribune
A CHICAGO lady sends her laundress
a washing list among which is the fol-
lowing: One frilled white petticoat Ono
starch). On Saturday the washing
comes home, and with it the bill, among
the items in which are the following:
One frilled petticoat 20 cents, no starch
10 cents.
WAR is terrible thing, and it is
hoped the day is near at hand when ouI
swords will be beaten into plowshares
and our difficulties settled by arbitra-
ton. In arecent engagement between
the Gillian and Peruvian forces horse
trod on a soldiers bunion, and he yelled
so-the soldier, not the horse-that you
could hear him two miles. A lieuten'
ant on the other side was also wounded.
His sword became cntangled between
his legs, which tripped him up, and he
sustained slight abrasion of the left
cheek bone. 1t is understood that both
armies are now suing foi peace.-Nor
ristnWn Herald.
The front door of Lafayette ave-
nue. residence was open the other day,
when two ladies called on the mistress.
A little five-year-old was standing in
the doorway, and the callers had no
need to ring. "Where's mamma?''
asked one of the ladies. "Se's up
'tairs dessin'," was the lisped reply.
"Take these up to mamma" said the
lady, as she handed the little one the
cards. The small maiden climbed the
stairs and battered down again.
"Mamma took e tards and told ME to
say at SEES out" 1t is the same old
story, and L. G. only chronicles it be-
cause he knows it to be true in this in
stance. The ladies marched off, doubt
less resolving to teach their own little
ones to be more diplomatic.-Detroil
Free Press.
THE ENFANT TERRIBLE.-The speech
es of renfant terrible on his first APP
pearance at church are many and singu-
lar-not to be Irish about it-and they
have not all been printed, either. This
time his name was Fred, a bright little
nephew of the writer, and he lived in
Illinois-he was an Illanoyster, al
Thatcher says. His mother had taken
him to concert where there were reel.
tations and music. The piece which
most captivated his youthful fancy was
"Captain Jinks," which was sung with
great eclat by a sober-sided fellow. The
next Sunday was Fred's first day al
church, and he watched with interest
the progress of the exercises, keeping
very still during the reading, and near
ly through the "long prayer" when
becoming somewhat FESTIVE, he pulled
at his mothers dress and asked, quite
audibly: "Mamma, isn't it most time
for Captain Jinks?' ''-Harper's Maga.
zine.
We should bear with disagreeable
people better--and generally find them
more agreeable, probably--if we were
accustomed to look on their mental in.
firmities with more of the pity with
which we regard their physical deform-
tiles. We have only cOmmiseration fol
the man who is born with club feet, OF
cross eyes, or St. Vitus dance. We dc
not blame and berate him that his eff
forts are crippled by such disadvant.
ages. But the man is just as deserving
of pity who comes into life afflicted
with club-footed sense of propriety, OF
a cross-eyed judgment. or an epileptie
temper. At least the reflection that we
might not do near as well as he, were
we in his place, should temper our crit.
icism and dislike. "You are pale,
said one soldier to another, as they were
waiting for the enemy's attack, in 8
tone that implied some question of his
courage. eff you were as afraid as
am you would run away" was tie pat
reply.-G00d Company.
How q GreaJ Telescope Lens is Made.
M Crnv,syr tho nsroo%o,. Of tho Q,,c