The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-13
SUNBEAMS,
The most mournful of household imple-
ments-The sad iron.

in the business
The last .cure for hydrophobia, discov-
cred by they Carlisle (Ky.) Messenger, is O
drink of vinegar, accidentally taken"
1t is the liar who wants to knock you
down for doubling his word. The honest
man will stop to argue matters.
A Hartford beau has just made the start
ling discovery that girls ribs run up and
| down. Of course it's SO.
| Lila asks us:-"Would man smoke
cigars if he couldn't see the srnoke?" Lila,
would girl chew gum if she couldn't see
| what she was chewing?
John writes to ask, 'If there is bird, be-
sides the ostrich, big enough for a man to
| ride?" We would ask John if he ever
saw man on a skylark.
We are tickle as a people in our love
of popular songs. We first admire, then
run the thing in the ground. Finally we
wind up by abusing the author.-M y
Com. Advertiser
A henpecked husband said in extenua-
ton of his wife's raids upon his scalp,
''You see, she takes her own hair off so
easily she doesn't know how it hurts to
have mine pulled out"
The watch dogs honest bark" is all
right It's sure sign he is getting ready
to dig for q safer corner and needs encour-
agement. 1t is the silent dog which gets
in his work
The Polk county [Iowa) jail bears an in
scription over its entrance as follows:-"Go
sin no more" It is safe to bet that when a
prisoner goes out he ''goes in no MORE" if
he can help it,
A timid Bostonian has married a young
lady whose weight verges closely upon 200
pounds. 'My DEAR" says he to her, ''shall
help you over the fence?" NO." says
she to him, "help the fence"
No matter how good natured a man may
be, he will invariably get mad when he dis
covers that there is no towel in the room
and is compelled to dry his face op the
bed quilt. City Flying Leaues
The late Mr.. Powers of Philadelphia, al
ways insisted on having 100000 surplus
to his bank account. So do we, but the
bank people don't appear to pay much at
teEtion to it.
A Seymour Gnd. man picked up stick
of cord wood the other night and chased q
cat across the back yard, he didn't catch the
cat but he caught the clothes line with his
teeth, and now when he smiles the corners
of his mouth pass each other at the back
of his neck.
'rd like you to help me o little" said
vagrant poking his head into a country
store why don't you help yourself ?"
asked the proprietor. Thank, you will, "
said the tramp, picking up bottle of
pickles and two loaves of bread, and then
vanishing.
''Never kiss young girl If she doesn't
want you to" says an article on the art
of Kissing" But pretty often when girl
says she doesn't want you to kiss her is the
the very time she does want you to, and
you'd better take the benefit of the doubt.
-Nomiaown Herald.
Little Charlie, bright three -year-old,
las often heard his mother dlating on the
ravages of the moths. The other day he
came hurriedly toddling out of the pantry,
dragging a sieve, to the bottom of which he
pointed as he exclaimed, Mamma, man.
ma see what 'mothies' have done !"
It was in Stumptown Sunday school q
visitor, who was interrogating the children,
asked the questions: why was Lots wife
turned into pillar of salt?" There was q
pause, and then small boy with prefer,
natural growth of head, piped out, II s'pose
it was because she was too fresh"
A full-bearded grandfather recently hat
his beard shaved off, showing clean fact
for the first time for a number of years
At the dinner table his three year-old grand
daughter noticed it, gazcd long with won
dering eyes, and finally calculated, Grand
father, whose head you got on ?"
sMother wants you to let her take you
polonaise pattern and be so kind as to fiji
this cup with yeast, and is your clock right
and what time is it. and little meal in thi
pan, and won't you write down your re
ceipt for rye mullins, and please not le
your turkeys roost on our fence any more
cause dad says he'll shoot them"
The lightning rod man applied to tn
president of a railroad to put lightning rod
on all his cars. "Lightning rods on ou
cars ?" asked the latter. why, certainly.
"What in the world do we want them for
''Because they make good conductors re
piled the man, as he closed the door hastll