The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1879-11-20
FACTS AND FANCIEs.

will DO found out at last.
When a bighwayman stops a miser
and takes his money, lac takes his life;
they're n inseparable.
Tom Moore traced his descent from
the ark as follows: Noah had three sons
-Shem, Ham and one more.
Caroline, walking through falling
leaves in autumn: Are the trees crying,
mamma, because the summer is gomez
Mamma 10 Isabel, who is rather un-
mercifully teasing the kitten: 'Isaoel,
my child, you must not do go; Idontlike
to see it, Isabel: Well, don'tlook, nam.
ma
Shavingg from q planning mill in Chi
cago are, by an ~air-blast, blown 700 feet
through a15 inch hheet-iron pipe, to a
distiIlery, where they are burned for
fuel.
A schoolmistrees asked a child what
see spelt. Tho child hesitated. Said
the teacher: what do l DO when 1 look
at Mr.. Smith, 'Thquint,' replied the
pupil.
The young lady who comes out Of her
boudoir 30 sleek and cool and fresh and
pink md white and sparkling, thinks she
is mighty nice-and the joke OF it is she
is right.
People ere p~srdoxical. That's how a
reporter got 80 b~ewildered. He heard
q mau say, Il will smoke that cigar no
longer when he meant be would smoke
it no shorter.
A good old negro was burned to q crisp
recently somewhere down in Georgia.
The text of the funeral address, oddly
enough, wNs: We'll done, thou good
and faithful servant
A singular breach Of promise suit is
in the New York courts, where Nancy
v. Campbell sues Orson l.. Compton
for $40, 900 damages for her blighted af-
fections. The man, who is married, and
lives in Mobile, is nephew Of the plain.
tiff.
South Carolinians propose to erect a
monument to the memory OF John O.
Calhoun. The granite shaft is to stand
on the western side OF the Seneca river,
near the old Calhoun mansion, and with
in q few yards Of the Piedmont Air Line
railroad.
When a city becomes infested with a
band OF old and young croakers, they
work more harm to the city than a good,
active band of robbers. When a city
becomes 80 afflicted, the greatest boon
it can pay for, is for a few magnificent
funerals.
l said to my little girl one day, What
a large forehead you have gotl 1t is just
like your fathers. You could drive a
pony-carriage round it, To which her
brother, five years old said, Yes, mann
ma; but on papR's you can see the marks
Of the wheels
A little boy OF seven had been ordered
to take claret by the doctor. A person,
dining with the family, said to HIM
you should put a little water with it; it
brings out the TASTE That's very ine,'
responded the se~ven-year-old, Gut 1
prefer the taste left ill.,
Little Nellie, a four y~sar-old, was
punished by her mother, the other even
ing for some misdemeanor. The little
one sat quiet for a few moments and then
began scolding, winding up with. We'll,
/ never could see the use of mothersl
Always spanking little girls, and itdon't
do any good, anyhow
Charles A. Paybeer, clerk in the office
of Adjutant General Wherry, at West
Point, has been court. martialed for at
tempting to blacsinail a cadet, found
guilty, dishonorably discharged, strip
ped Of all pay due and coming due, and
sentenced TO two years imprisonment In
the military prison at Fort Lsavenworth.
William Learn, Of Little Traverse,
Mich, put tho butt OF his gun barrel
into a FIRE to loosen something, and
William narrowly escaped going to that
bodrne that il moro than q Little Ira
versed. As a physician was quarrying
the buck-shot out of him, his wife made
things cheerful by remarkiug that come
men would never Learn anything. And
yet we are told that Il woman can't make
a pun
A letter writer in California, says:
Sheep ranching is played out this year
in the mountains. This State has dou.
be the number Of sheep that its wild
grasses can support. Excessive crop
ping has impoverished the natural pas
lures, and this years drought has killed
the roots Of all grasses. Emigrants
are coming, calculating on buying q few
acres for culture and keeping sheep at
large. They should be advised that
this liz no longer practicable.
While Merritt Trimble, a well known
merchant of New York, was busily talk
irg with a customer, sitting beside his
open safe, three men entered his Office,
and after lounging about apparently
waiting to sec Mr.. Trimble, sauntered
out. Some hours after, when business
hours were over, the gentleman pro.
ceeded to lock his safe, when he dis
covered a package containing 1913, 100 in
bonds was missing, distracted by the
adroit thieves.