The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-01-15
THAT HIND POCKET"
Cut it OFF, or Sew it Up.

| - aANNA PSSSSuNS - AAOSS AoSHS SNe
it does appear that / am peculiarly
the ''chIld Of misfortune" With
your permission, I viii give the par
ticulara Of one Of my late miShaps,
hoping some Of your readers nay
thereby escape o similar dilemma.
As you are aware, / am Mail Route
Agent on the O., G. G.. & c. (that
is to say Buncombe) Railroad. The
U. S. mail key 10 q very valuable
and sacred thing, especially so to
one whose gravy is depending upon
it's use. Hence / have hung to my
mail key With the massive brass
chain attached. like grim death 10 o
dead horse and have given the time
Of day to everyone who has mis-
taken the the brass for On elegant
gold watch chain.
Unfortunately. my vest had to be
repaired and pants changed, so ! de-
tached my chain and put it in the
pocket Of the pants / was going into.
/ proceeded to wash and shave,
change linen and get on the repair.
ed garments-nOt 3 pleasant job by
any means, when everybody is talk.
ing about you, and you are out of
coal, and only one fire in the house.
But in this succeeded very we'll.
and enjoyed the rest Of my short
time, allowed by our schedule, with
my family, and left feeling very
kindly toward everybody, except the
makers of railroad schedules.
/ hurried down town, about one
fourth Of a mile, signed the record
and went to my car, where I met
the usual number Of friends with
verbal messages to be delivered
along the line. / run my hand into
my pocket for the key to open the
car, but 1t was not there. / pro.
ceeded to empty my pockets OF pa
pers, tobacco crumbs, ETC., but found |
no key. / cut The lining Of my coat |
and tore out the dilapidated wad-
ding but found no key. / then sup. |
posed I had left it at home, and with
q small coin, Induced . boy go after |
it. It was then leaving time, and
after quite lengthy stay the mes
seDger returned with the consOling
news that it could not be found.
This rather enraged me. and / left
abruptly for the house, where I found
all anxiously looking for the key; |
after upsetting every thing and look.
ing everywhere, I came to the con-
clusion that the aerv8nt girl had
stolen it for the purpose OF getting
the chain, supposing it to be gold.
I therefore discharged her on the
spot. then imagined some Of the
children had misplaced it, and fol-
lowing that theory closely set them
all to bawling ~ the top of their
voices. But | soon gave up and re-
tracted all that ] had said against
the children, for the Boss female Of
the establishment took sides with
them, and found that rather bois.
terous line, and desistsd,
/ then started for the telegraph
Office, debating in my mind whether
to telegraph my resignation, or for
another key-when 1 met Captain
Taylor, the conductor; and this
came near being 8 bloody meeting.
for he informed me very abruptly
that there would be mail agent
left very soon if did not mount the
train at once. A friend suggested
that ! borrow Capt, Trsnts key, to
unlock with. and at each Office con.
tinue to borrow ad intinitum.
l adopted this plan in haste, un-
locked the loors, and in my con.
fHsign forgot to UNLOCK the mail
bags. the train moving off lively. So
there / was with no mail to distrib
ute, nor anything 10 do. but mutter
to myself such things as tVoa1ld not
Wqa epergbadg t9 hegs
! finally concluded to make one
more efFort--to take of every rag of
clothing and shake them, peradven-
ture it had lodged in some OF the
patches. l at once proceeded to do
80, regardless OF the aqeather, and
followed this lead to the full extent,
when thought of the ''hind" pock-
ct of my pants. | thrust my hand
into This pocket, aud right then l
Is 10 say, / wilted,
| am better now, but can neither eat
nor sleep until warn the public
against hind pockets in britches.
Either cut them off or sew them up,
Or pay twenty cents more for pair
them.
/ cheerfully forgive those who
offended me in this excitement.
1 kinder" dread to 60 home,
jhOugh. Yours, &C.,
E. O. 7.
Ac art critic, going Into q gallery
.