Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-08-24
Sense and Nonsense.

A Pinafore company has struck Mani
toba, and the inhabitants are flying to the
mountains.
~ say, my little son, where does the
rght-hand road go?;' ''Don't know, sir,
'ta1nt been nowhere since we lived
here"
A wealthy Californian wants Sarah
Bernhardt to stand as a weather strip for
one Of the doors of his palace. --Wheezinq
Leader.
"Yes, Agnes, I'm going to have a
cream-colored summer silx, provided pa
doesn't veto the appropriation ma has
passed.
A dead snake can be brought to life
with pint Of whisky. You drink the
whisky and then look at the snake.-Bos-
ton Post.
Tramps would be more numerous than
ever were it not for the self-sacriicing
women of the land who marry and sup
port so many men.
A Chicago mans nightmare turned out
to be the shadow of his wife's foot on the
bedroom wall, instead of an unearthly
monster with five horns.
II should have no objection to nv
wife's reigning," said an affectionate hus-
band, eff it we're not for the fact that
when she reigns she is apt to storm also.''
There was an old Yankee named Weston,
Who played curious tricks all the rest on,
He went for that belt
Against Saxon and Celt,
And now they all say he's the best 'un.
Two lawyers, while bathing at Santa
Cruz the other day, we're chased out of
the water by shark. This is the most
fragrant case Of want of professional cour-
tesy now ON record.
A clergyman solemnized marriage
the other day at West Waterville, at the
close of which he gave ont the hymn,
"What shall the harvest be-" An audi
bic smile passed around the guests.
TIE reason why Detroit woman got
off street car without ringing the bell,
was because she saw her husband walk
ing with a gook-looking widow, and she
had no time for ceremonies.
Such as have virtue always in their
mouth and neglect it in practice, are like
a harp which emits sound pleasing
to others, while its own body is wholly
insensiblc to the music produced.
A warm sunny day !; shirt '.waxen and
white as lily;a corpulent puff ng man.
These three things combined are what
throw into Mecca of delight and beati-
tude the Mongolian knight Of the washtub.
I'm Internally dlsgusted with nv wife
that's the long and short OF it," ssWhat's
wrong now2 Has she been kicking up
any new capers?" "No, I wouldn't stand
that; but she keeps on repeating all her
old ones'
"Theodore," observed solicitous young
mother to her husband, ~ think will
not let little George attend Sunday
school any more l find the poor boy is
quite feyerish tonight and his feet are all
blistcred."
A Tonic.-Smallest boy: s'Better give
in at once, cos I'm bound to lick YER"
Small boy: How dyer know yer a. goin
to lick me?" Smaller boy "Cos I'm
stronger than you; I chew tobacker and
you don't"
Somebody is Waiting for Me- was
walled out by the man who bad been to
the lodge, lost his night key, and could
see the shadow of his wife's mothers
night capped head on the curtain Of the
sitting groom.
The colored Baptists of NewYork ac-
knowledge that Cox, the murderer, was a
member of that chusch, "but." adds one
OF the deacons, che allus sEet his eyes
when de money-box passed, an we didn't
go much on him.
Lord North, who was not fond of scien-
tifc music, being asked to subscribe to a
series of concerts, refused "But your
lordship's. brother, the bishop Of Win
chester, subscribes," urged the applicant.
IF were as deaf as he I would sub
scribe too,' was the reply.
"Walter, do you think that the stars
are inhabited?' she said, glanclng at him
with an expression that showed what con-
tidence she had in his superior wisdom
"Clara,' he replied, syour father only al
lows me $40 a week, and you can't ex-
pect any but high-priced clerk to an
swer that question"
Swinburne sings: 81 hid my head in a
nest of roses.'' Did you, Algernon; did
you? That was wise in you to hide il
among the roses. Now, if you had Gov
cred It up in nest of cabbages, when
you came to pick it out again you could