Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1879-11-06

true Western American when anything is
'going on, ready to listen Or to strike in,
if occasion offers, On either side, impartl-
ally. re -
"No," be went on, raising his voice and
looking toward the conference meeting,
II liked to hear you we'll enough. You're
smart. There's no denying that, but I
don't like your sentiments. I think too
highly of the sex--1'm a lady's man n.y.
se2f-to have them TO shoe horses, and
build roads, and be blacksmiths and team
sters, the way you want 'em to be. I
suppose you'd like 'em to wear trousers
and chew" rolling his guild and splitting
with emphasis, ssand drink, and swear,
and go the whole figure generally
wouldn't you?"
ooh, no, my FRIEND" answered I, being
thus appealed to. A"I'd like you," survey
ing his little head and his big body, "and
such men as you to turn out and shoe the
horses, and mend the roads, and be black
smiths and teamstars, and leave vacant
the places you are now filling as doctors
or ministers, Or lawyers, for the same
number of intelligent, needy, wide-awake
young women, and you could cling, un-
molested, to your congenial pastime of
chewing, and drinking, and swearing, to
the end Of your respective chapters.
He didn't like the idea. In fact, I
have often noticed that opinions in regard
to the utility of the rod depend upon the
end that falls to ones share. As Washing
ton Irving says: II never could bebrought
to my fathers mind upon that matter"
The conference meeting smiled audibly,
which didn't please my professional
friend who alphabetically remarked:
II like we'll enough to hear a strong
minded woman talk, but Id be mighty
sorry to marry one"
"Set your mind at case upon that mat
ter, sir. You have no need for anxiety.
Be sure that none but a wesk-minded
woman will ever say yes to you"
"Hit HIM again." mumbled member
of the conference meeting, whose sympa-
thles had been plainly manifested at the
outset, on the 'other side" It is one of
the sure characteristics of your true West
ern American that, above all things, he
enjoys watching fight and seeing some
body 'crackcd."
ooh" growled NJ. D., you'd like to
have your wife support you, would your"
"Certin," answered the long-legged fell
low assailed, firing his salute of tobacco
juice. s"Certin.' he answered meditative-
ly, "f was such derned mean cuss as
not to be able to take care Of myself"
At which the conference meeting
smiled again, and my professional trlend
retired TO his silence and lett me to mine
"Never you mind," said long legs, con-
solinglY and admiringly, and firing q
fresh salute in honor Of the sentiment,
you'll get as many husbands as you want,
that's dead sure" and so retired to his
silence, leaving me to wondering medi-
| tatien on human nature till I reached
| Ann Arbor and content.
A LECTURE IN "EGyPT. '-Considering
the profound gloom without perhaps it
was not strange the president Of the as
| ISOLATION was anxious for something live
| ly in the evening.
|. He was afraid the audience might not
like the lecture ON $40 ann" because 1--WE
don't read much in this town, and haven't
no library, nor yet many books, and there
amt many Of us as has more than heard
of herr ..e,
I suggested that they should take some
other lecture that n1ig ht be bit spicy
| ind so suit them better.
"No. You're making that everywhere,
amt you2 Up TO Chicago, and down at
St. Louis, and all round?'
"Even So" I confessed.
"Weli, we are going to have first crop
whatever it is, and Jo-anas seems to fill
the bill.'
In spite of his asseveration, however,
my friend was not satisfied with the 's5ill, -
for he shook his head sadly and slew, and
at>last ventured, "Nothing brisk in it,
eh2" :
''Rather the reverse" was afraid.
"And she lived considerable while
ago. reckon about 1916, want it2"
"Nearer Eve hundred than fifty years.
I explained to him.
,"Well, now So long age as that Really
Well! You see told you we're not
much for reading here. Do you mind
telling me whether .Jo-ann was English
or French2 And where Is Ark anyWay2
More surprise at the answer that s'Arc''
was a myth ssnowhere the myth"
evidently being as great mystery as the
ssArk." - ~ - 9
A long pause, during which my liter
airy friend ruminated while stroking his
whiskers, and / studied page of human
nature. = &
81 say" 49,. - .....s
.s,Well9'' & s
cts just q historic piece2n
No more" Ex. :. 7 3'[ @s2s
"a'Well, now" Frightening hopefully,
"don't you think yeu could liyen it up
By. throwing in few jolly stories and
ono jokes, and and that sort of thing?n
.sHave an intermissioa about The mid
die Of it2 Sing q song3 Of, perhaps,
dance a jiga'' I feelingly inquired.
At which with ecstacy the response,
"Oh, if you only would, Miss Dicken-
son - ..sSx !. ].
ssWell, T didn't and was never bidder
back to that town.
did not suppose that he could be
matched, but found his mate fort
i night or so later at tt s &.
Said the very pleasant presiding officer
to me as we Wended our way to the hall,
1--WE have engaged Mr.. a to introduce
tsyou this evening. Mr.. H is the lead
ling banker here, and very rich. and he
wants TO 60 to. Congress, and is always
more than glad to make 9 little speech,
and as he does q good deal for our ASSOC
clation
He smiled and 7 smiled, and waited
for d sensation. ..35;3
81 And was not disspp pointed. 81.
Elijah Pogrem ID the flesh Just al
big and NOISY and pretentious, with i
/ vast expanse q shirt front, white vesl
/ and limp white necktie Just such j
blue swalIoW-tali with shining buttons
/ Hair brushed up ID Just such an ssintel
/ lectualn manner. Tobacco quid rs hugh