davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-05-23
A Base Ball Romance.

In the bulk window of Chestnut street
| auction-house is exposed q magnificent
mahogany malace, tipped with elaborately
, worked silver. For over an hour a very
| seedy individual, with red hair and
broken nose, fingered about the window
with such mysterious manner as to lead
the officer on the corner to believe that
his intentions were not good, so he 'stook
him in" on general principles.
When the officer related to the court his
ground for arrest, and, finding them not
tenable, the magistrate quizzed the pris-
oner as to who and what he was.
''What were you doing there ?" queried
the Court
Nothing, Jedge, simply admiring and
meditating"
"Admiring what %
'"That bat, Jedge, the beautiful base
ball bat
"You are evidently an admirer of the
game of baseball" !" interposed the court
No more, Squire. Was once. I'm
martyr, am. Tn no good any more
It's gone down now, has the game. How
could scoop in fy-scraper? Shy thet
inkstand at me, Jedge. Toss her sharp.
Bounce her now. Hot, me boy, an I'll
show yer how to stop her. No, they
won't have me no more; I'm played,
they say. Gimme something. Bust off
that table-leg and gimmme a smack at
that inkstand. Fire her this way hot,
and if don't show yer homer, yer can
send me down for good. Ten years ago
I was big crab on the field; short-stop,
yer know. ALI broke up now. Couldn't
get job now scraping the stick. I could
skin over the bases like creased tighten
ing runs. Throw open the door once.
Just hold her open two minutes, and see
me get up and git. But, reckon, I'm
no account nowdays, though"
sc You don't look as though you'd bring
a prize, put in the court.
''Not for beauty, no. But for scars,
Jedge; for scars, I'm prime cheese; head
Of the heap. I'm martyr, am, but no
body would guess it. .
ga martyr to what?" said the court.
'sTo sky-scrapers, Jedge; daisy-cutters
-homers, yer know. Taking 'em hot,
right off the tip of the bat. Oh, yes,
I'm martyr. Do you see that hand ~
deal-table, with five horribly damaged
fingers starting from its edges. "Them
tells the tale. All of them busted time
and again. Had 'em druv in clear up to
the second jint, and pulled out with
tweezers dozens of times. Every finger
broke in six places; five times six, thirty;
thirty breaks on the right hand, thirty
busted on the left Twice thirty, sixty;
five twelves, sixty Five amt worth
continental Pulled in for gazing and
meditating on a prize bat. This is to
hard!"
"It is indeed hard said the court.
ssDo you see that smelling apparatus
on my countenance? Looks as though it
was too big for my face, don't it? I sac
rifced her. Once it was the beautifulest
nose as ever your eyes sot on, but ball
took her on the fly, with three fingers.
But I'm no good. Oh! no, don't un
derstand the game. Can't even gaze on
a prize bat, or mediate, but am run in.
Send it hot. I'm on the home run, and
you might as well put me out
He was put out on the street, and was
heard to say, as he went through the
door, that he knew he would be called up
to die for the cause some time, to save it
from disgrace.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-05-23
How a Toad Undresses.

A gentleman sends to an agricultural
paper an amusing description of Chow o
Toad Takes off His Coat and Pants" He
SAYS he has seen one do it, and friend
has seen another do the same thing in the
same way:
''About the middle of July found a
toad on hill of melons, and not wanting
him to leave, I hoed round him; he ap-
peared sluggish and not inclined to move.
Presently 1 observed him pressing his
elbows against his sides and rubbing
downward. He appeared so singular
that I watched to see what he was up to.
After few smart rubs his skin began to
burst open straight along his back. Now,
said I, old fellow, you have done it; but
he appeared to be unconcerned, and kept
on rubbing until he had worked all his
skin into folds on his sides and hips; then
grasping one hind leg with both his
hands, he hauled off one leg of his pants
the same as anybody would, then stripped
the other hind leg in the same way. He
then took his cast-of cuticle forward be-
tween his fore-legs into his mouth and
swallowed it; then, by raising and lower
ing his head, swallowing as his head
came down, he stripped off the skin un-
derneath until it came to his fore-legs,
and then grasping one of these with the
opposite hand, by considerable pulling
stripped off the skin; changing hands, he.
stripped the other, and by a. slight mo-
ton of the head, and all the while swal-
lowing, he drew it from the neck and
swallowed the whole. The operation
seemed an agreeable one and occupied
but short time"
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-05-23
The Green-Eyed Monster.

Lr. Kreger was TRANQUILITY eating his
breakfast recently, when his boy broke
the silence by asking him for fifty cents
to go to the minstrels with that night.
Mr.. Kreger promptly refused, on the
ground of hard times.
Mr.. Krggers boy is more than boy,
and when sets his heart on having any
thing he generally succeeds in getting It;
SO, when his father refused to- comply
with his request, he moved over by his
mother, and said:
CT guess I'll tell ma what the cook
said to you last night.
Mrs. Kr9ger's eyes flashed like two
balls of fire.
You're a nice man, " she said, sarcas-
tically, to come home and pet me, and
kiss me, and call me your little dew
gemmed tulip, and then go and receive
the caresses of the cook. You miserable,
frog-eyed runt, for two pins I'd go over
there and rake the eyes out of your
81, ah!" stammered the lord of the
manor, when his wife broke in
ooh, yes, I'll I, ah, your and turning
suddenly to the boy, she demanded an
explanation of the whole affair
Will you give me fifty cents?"
Yes, she responded, s'what did she
say to him?"
Glve me the hfty cents hrst!' said
young hopeful. I'm opening the year
on the G. o. D. principle"
He soon had the money, and relieved
his mother by telling her:
$ Last night the cook came up to pop,
and getting pretty close to him and
30, you wretch, hissed Mrs. Kre-
ger.
''And when she got beside him she
smiled very sweetly, and said:
The boy moved cautiously toward the
door, and his mother yelled:
"Come out with it!''
g And when the cook got pretty close
to him, she whispered:
Mr.. Kreger, the potatoes are getting
pretty low, and you had better get an
other barrel in day or two >"
Then the boy got outside as fast as
possible, while his mother sank into
chair. Mr.. Kreger lifted his morning
paper before his face to vail the smile
which made it look like calcium light.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-05-23
Anecdotes of Moses Cheney.

When the Hon. Moses Cheney was
member of the Legislature, at Montpel
Ter, VT, his eccentricities were continu
ally peeping out, and his originalities
| were often made to bear with telling
| force upon certain members that he
thought were not on the square. Pride
| and affectation were particularly obnox
| lous to him, and he never let chance o1
| giving nat when he saw any person put
| ting on airs. On one election day chap
lain for the session was to be elected
One by one the resident clergymen o1
Montpelier were nominated, but all de.
clined serving. Mr.. Cheney rose in his
| seat, and in deep, sonorous voice, ex.
| claimed !:
"What various hindrances we meet,
In coming to the mercy seat"
There was sudden hush fell on the
assembly. The next clergyman that was
nominated accepted the office.
One day an important motion was un-
der discussion. The members dilly-dal-
lied over it all the forenoon session, then
it was laid upon the table. A second
time it was handled in the same way.
The third time it was brought up Mr.
Cheney arose, and said
Mr.. Speaker, want to tell story
before this measure is discussed. Parson
Noble, who resided in Chelsea, was a
man who was not afraid or ashamed to
work. He had his winters wood cut sled
length in the woods, and borrowed ayoke
of oxen from one of his neighbors to haul
it to his yard But he was troubled with
the very first load he got on the sleigh
the oxen could not, or would not, draw
it an inch. The old parson coaxed and
whipped, and whipped and coaxed, but
there they were, and there they staid.
His neighbor, the owner of the oxen,
thought they had been gone long time,
and got anxious, so he jumped on his
horse and rode out to the woods to see
what was the trouble Parson Noble was
sitting on log wiping the perspiration
from his face with his handkerchief
ss In trouble, Mr.. Noble?"
"' Yes, these confounded oxen won't do
thing
sss Let me take the whip. Stand one
side, sir.
'SThe old parson gladly gave up the
whip and place. The farmer walked
around the sled, saw that there was moth
ing to hinder the load from starting, took
his place by the side of the oxen, gave
one smart blow with the whip, at the
same time giving yell that woke up the
echoes in every direction. OF course the
load started, the parson trotted on be-
hind, filed with wonder.
There, sir, handing back the whip,
just let them know that their Redeemer
iveth, and there will be no more trouble
in getting along"
The motion was carried after afew min
utes' discussion. S. Fl. r.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-05-23
Oriental Pedestrianism.

Lazy as we are wont to consider the Ori-
entails, many of the 6 matches against
time" achieved by them may bear COM
parison with the best of those now pend
ing among ourselves. An Arab donkey
boy will go at run all the way from
Cairo to the Pyramids and back again,
without any visible signs of fatigue. A
Sikh dispatch bearer will scamper
through miles of jungle in the dark,
shaking bunch of metal rings to scare
away the tiger and hyena. Four meagre
Hindoos, who appear barely able to
carry hand bag, will take heavy pal
anquin, containing an officer and all his
belongings, over the ground at smart
trot for hours together. Even more mar
velous are the achievements of the Per-
trained from their very childhood to feats
of strength and activity, daily accomplish
distance bordering upon the incredible.
Not many years ago one of these men
reached Terheran fully two hours before
his appointed time, having covered an
immense tract of very difficult country in
fourteen hours of almost incessant run
ming but his chief, SO far from praising
him, simply remarked: "Could you not
have done It in twelve?" and on his re-
turn journey the indomitable man actu-
ally did SO. The occupation is danger
our one, not only from the extraordinary
exertions which it demands, but also from
the fact of the runners being so tightly
girded that fall or even a stumble would
be certain death. Persian chroniclers re-
late that certain native prince once
promised his daughter to any man who
would keep up with his chariot all the
way from Teheran to Ispahan. A cele-
brated shatir undertook the task, and
held his own till the gate of Ispahan was
in full view, when the shah alarmed at
the prospect of having to make good his
rash promise, let fall his whip. The
runner, knowing it would cost him his
life to stoop, contrived to pick it up with
his feet The treacherous monarch then
dropped his ring, when the shatir, seeing
that his fate was sealed, exclaimed re-
proachfully: Oh! king, you have
broken your faith, but am true te
miner picked up the ring; and fell dead
on the spot.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-05-23
A Spail that Would not Starve.

An Egyptian desert snail was received
at the British Museum on March 70,
1886. The animal was not known to be
alive, as it had Withdrawn into the shell
and the specimen was accordingly
gummed, mouth downward, on the table,
duly labeled and dated, and left to it's
fate. Instead of starving, this contented
gasteropod simply went to sleep in a
quiet way, and never woke up again for
four wears. The tablet was then placed
in tepid water and the shell loosened,
when the dormant snail suddenly re-
suscitated himself, began walking about
the basin, and finally sat for his portrait,
which may be seen Of life size In Mr:
Woodward's g Manual of the Monusca. >
Now, during those four years the snail
had never eaten mouthful of any food
vet he was quite as well and fourishine
at the end Of the period as he had been
at the beginning.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-05-23
The Judges Joke.

On very cold day two men were driv-
ing along narrow road, in opposite di-
rections, and one or the other would be
compelled to turn out. This would not
be an easy job, for the snow was nearly
two feet deep on either side of the road /;
so they drove close to each other before
they stopped. One of them drove light
sleigh, while the other had two horses
hitched to heavy load of lumber, and it
was but natural for the driver of the
heavy team to suppose the other would
give the road. But this, he who drove
the sleigh did not intend to do. He was
a witty man, and, as he filed the position
of Judge, he was held in awe by most of
the people near where he lived.
sTurn out !" exclaimed the Judge, as
soon as the teams had come to stand
still.
"I won't do it," answered the other,
stoutly.
'You had BETTER" replied the Judge
if you don't, I'll very soon show you
what I'll do"
The man eyed the judge keenly for a
short time, and then, fearing that the
man of law might go to extremes, he got
off his sled and commenced trampine
snow SO that he could get his team out Of
the road.
The judge sat quietly in his sleigh and
watched the teamster at his laborious
task, which lasted half an hour. At last
it was accomplished, and the two teams
were ready to resume their respective
journeys.
'.Now," said the teamster, addressing
the Judge, s.I would like to know wha
you would have done if I had not turned
out ?"
why" answered the judge, with .
dry smile, s'if you had not turned out
I would"
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-05-23
Small Change.

We were bridesmaids at a funeral few
evenings since, and everything went
merry until the minister, who had just
returned from church, mistook our coat
for his own and hunted through the
pockets for his Bible. He fished up
pack of cards, a paper OF fine cut, and
flask which some evil disposed person
had placed there. We looked at the
groom. shook our head deprecatingly,
and told him that he shouldn't have worn
that coat at such q time. All eyes were
focused on him, and he turned as red
as danger signal. We didn't get smell
Of the wedding cake.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-05-23

A religion that never sufices to govern
a man will never suffice to save him.
That which does not distinguish him
from a sinful world will never distin-
guish him from a perishing world.
John Howe.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-05-23

In tie spring the thoughts of the young
turn to love, and :.of the old to setting
hens.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-01-28
st. Paul WholesaIe Markets.

SSs
WHEAT-The street offerings were a1,ite liberal
comparing favoraby with the early days of the week
preceding, while prices were firm an advance being
reailzed IN a few instances on No. 2 wheat, which
SOLD as nigh as Use per bushe The rail receipts Wero
large and shipments were very satisfactory. We
quote: No. 1, 58 lbs. 7ec; No. q 81 his, 71n75c.
No.2, Sc lbs, CSC; No. 3, So bs COO; No g. 81 u.s.
FLoUR-Patent process S6.75@y7.o0; straight 4,5om
e.oo; clear 3.5O14.0O; xxx $50 800.
OATs-Ihe receipts are liberal, and under good
demand prices rule steady at the suboined quota
CSC per bus. 01SS
CoRN-Market fairly active at the subjoined quota
tons: No. p 28D30c per bus.
BEANs-Fair to choice mediums .4o@1.5o; navy
hand7picked 1.50@1.65; common stock 9Oc@s1.1O.
B1TIER-Choice creamery 1s0l20c per 10; fair to
PouLTRY-The offerings of choice stock con-
unue light, and sales readily effected at IN1!c
per r.; dressed chickens in good demand at 7@sc
EGas-Fresh laid eggs 1e@1sc per dozen; picked
eggs 10M12c.
CRANBERn1Es-Cul Cultivated S1.75@1.sO; common
stock 1.50. -,
MILL sTuFFs-Feed $12.5o@13.oo; bran $500
800; shorts 6.0008.OO; corn meal 12.OO@1250 per
BARLEY-Market dull and receipts lights No. Q
nominal at 6o@70c per bus; No. s. 3O@s5c; rejected
10000.
HAY-Baled Timothy s9.5o@1o.oo; wild hay
@8.5O.
PRov1s1oNs-The demand was good with no ma
terlal change IN prices, which ruled as follows
100 lbs; kegs 700; pals 500 City cured hams Sc
per b; shoulders 4@5c; bacon sides 5M5Ic. =
., Dressed Hostile inquiry good and values
stock we're made at $3.16@3.25; common to good
hogs, $3.50 @2.9U. e1
LIVE sTook-The supply was somewhat limited.
light demand. Values were steady at quotations:
Choice smooth steers, S9.50@3 rs: good fasbav
steers S5.ooaDoto; COWS and heifers, S22503,o0,
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-01-28
a Bold Burglary.

daring robbery was committed in this city
at an early hour yesterday morning, the cir
cumstances of which almost warrant the as
sertlon that the nefarious avocation Of the mid
night crook can be piled with comparative i'm
munlty: The robbery occurred between IL and
o'clock A. NJ. the grocery and liquor saloon
conducted by Charles Rapp, and situated on
the corner Of Ninth and Exchange streets, be-
ing entered and thoroughly rifled Of its con-
tents at the leisurely will of the intruders,
Entrance was effected from the Exchange street
front of the building, by means of saving a
square out of the door panel large enough to
admit a mans hand, from which the inside
bolt OF the door was reached in a comparative
ly easy manner, thereby facilitating ready
entrance.
The total loss is estimated in the neigbbor-
hood OF 500, consisting Of 1000 cigars, nearly
fifty pounds of fine cut chewing tobacco, q
large lot of candy, quite number of miscel-
laneous articles and So in money. The artistic
manner in which the job was worked plain
~ Indicates that the thieves were far from be-
ing novlces at the business, and the impression
| exists that there were at least three men
| actively concerned in the robbery. The police
have taken active measures to secure the arrest
OF the parties, and recover the ssswag,' and
their efforts will probably result in success
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-01-28
Change Of Grade On Streets ii
Fourth Ward.
OFFICE OF THE BOARD OF PUBLIC Works,
CITY OF ST.. PAUL, MINI. Jan. Is. 1870

OFFICE OF THE BOARD OF PUBLIC Works
CITY OF ST. PAUL, MINI, Jan. Is, 1879.
Notice is hereby given that the assessments
for change of grade on the streets hereinafte,
named, in the city Of st. Paul, Mimi, have
been completed and entered of record in the
office of the Board Of Public Works in and fo1
said city, and that said assessments were duly
confirmed by said Board on the Oath day OF
January, A. d. 1879, to-wit:
summit avenue, from Dayton avenue to &C
feet north OF Nelson avenue.
Dayton avenue, from Summit avenue tc
Western avenue.
Western avenue, from University avenue to
Rondo street.
Western avenue, from Rondo street to Day.
ton avenue.
Selby avenue, from McKubln street to Sum.
nit avenue
Rondo street, from McKubin street to Rice
street.
McKubin street, from Jay street to Dayton
avenue.
Rice street, from Fuller street to st. Paul &
Pacific Railroad crossing.
81. M. RICE, President.
Official: R. L. GoRMAN. -'
Clerk Board of Public Works.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-01-28
ON THE ROAD TO pEs1rEN11ARY.
A Soldier Who Prefers Life at saltwater
Rather than at the Fort-The Youth Who
Robbed the Relief Society.

"A Soldier Who Prefers Life at Saltwater
Rather than at the Fort-The Youth Who
Robbed the Relief Society.
The criminal calendar was taken up yester.
day in the district court before Judge Wilkin.
AN AMBITIOUS YOUTH.
Tho first case called was that of George
Mitchell, the Fort Smelling soldier charged
with stealing, grab-stealing watch out of
Lytie's pawn shop on Jackson street.
The prisoner seemed or had expressed
Yet when he came to plea, he added the ster-
eotyped disclaimer, "not guilty." which sub
sequently revealed a purpose.
The clerk exhausted the new venire for thr-
ty-tive petit jurors before a jury was obtained.
Not because counsel (E. G. Rogers for the
offered any objections, but because
the jurors were not in court.
"A jury being impaneled at last, and the plea
entered as above, the evidence was taken. It
went dead against Mitchell. He offered no
response. The case went to the jury; they
went through the formality Of gong out, and
in one half minute returned With the verdict
OF guilty.
The,eupon Mr.. Kelly arose and stated as a
matter of personal explanation, he wished to
say he had advised his client, whose case had
been given him by the court, to plead guilty.
The evidence was all against him, but Mitchell,
against bis advice, had persisted in pleading
not guilty.
Mitchell bounced up and asked werd He
sait! he'd pleaded not guilty because he wanted
to make the county pay as much as he could.
He'd been arrested, and he wanted them to pay
for the fun of it. Then he squattcd, after this,
his maiden speech.
Mitchell is hard featured individual. AS
stated he is soldier, and declares he wants
time at the penitentlary to escape military
service. He'll probably gain his desire.
A MEEK YOUTH.
The next affair on hand was that of Henry
W. Thompson He'd been a protege of the
Relief society, knew where they kept their old
clothes, and broke through and stole S3l worth
Of clothing for the poor. He pleaded guilty
and was remanded to Jail to await sentence.
This ended the work for the day.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-01-28
Mortgage Sale.

Whereas, William Z. CASTOR and Andora S CASTOR
MS Wife and Robert ?. Lewis, and Charlotte NJ
E sS ms WIFE, aa on the l4th day of August A. D.
1877. execute and deliver to William Speer n certain
ndenture OF mortgage bearing date on the 18th dav
OF OF august A: D. 1917 aforesaid to secure the sum
toned Whereby they did grant bargain sel1 .na
convey to the said William Speer his heirs and as.
Signs, al the following described premises and real
Minnesota, to-wit.: Lot number four I4 in bIoch
number three (3) in Ewing & Chute,s addtio,, ~
re cry OF St. Paul according to the plat thereof on
record IN the office of the Register of Deeds of the
county OF ramsey aforesaid, which said indeture of
mortgage duly acknowledged, was on the 2Ist dav Of
August, A. D., 1872, alta O'Clock and AZ minTteS "a
duly recorded in the Office of the Register of n.od
aforesaid. in book % Of Mortgages, page SIS.
ana, whereas, said mortgagors did neglect and re-
Iuse 70 pay the taxes assessed upon said nran;sas
and the same were sold for taxes and afterword s.,
wit, upon the 9th day of February 1878 said No.
gagees to redeem said premises from the sale 90
made as aforesaid, was obliged to nav and did nov y.
the Treasurer of Ramsey county the snn nf re! ~
three dollars and forty cents; and whereas COIL
ortgagors did covenant and agree in said mortas CO
gage, his heirs or assious to pay said mort
dollars attorneys fees. 's-nfe
ana, whereas default has been made in the con-
i.on VI SAD mortgage, and there is now claimed n
De due thereon the of four hundred anS ia. ~
three dollars and ffty-seven cents and E 49,
tsrest ana nGy cents xes paid aforesaid with
teIest on saao taxes at the rate of twelve ar cent
per anhum from the 9th day of February. 1879 and
twenty-five dollars attorneys fees as afo,ee.;a' @
or at law has been Instituted to
recover the debt secured by said mortgage. y
NOW, therefore, notice is eceby Q ven that nnrsn.
anu TO power CT sale in said mortgage contained.
above premises will be sold at public snc
on 70 the highest bidder for cash. at the front door
OF the Old court house in st. Paul in said eeuntv NJ
Ramsey and State of Minnesota, on -
WEDNESDAY, THE TWELFTH DAY OF MARCH
A. D. 1879,
at 10 O'Clock A., to satisfy the arnornt dino ,o
said mortgage. 01o upon
Dated Ja:-. 81, 1879.
n,,, WILLIAM sPEER, Morteaaea
WILLIAMS DAVIDSON .eosse.
Attorneys for Mortgagee.
Jan 2s-7w-1ues