Little Falls transcript., 1879-05-15

MY LUNACY.

MY LUNACY.
The Confederate. force of General EARLY
had gained the mastery in the Shenan-
doah valley, and our. demoralized .battal-
ions were falling back precipitately
through Winchester Z ~ ::
Sheridan dashed upon the scene, and
his presence, like spell, checked the re-
treat, and infused new courage into the
disordercd mass. Our battery reached a
knoll to the left of the pike, and unlim-
bered in front of the tilnbered slope, on
the brow of which the Confederates had
posted heavy battery. The infantry line
on our front was advancing splendidly,
and l saw the cleaning crest of
bayonets fall when the order
came for a charge on the double quick.
Bright sunshine was streaming through
the open curtain, and seemed to
have awakened me = from my
prolonged slumbcr: Slowly my scattered
senses gathered from dim unconscious
ness, and as thought assumed definite
form the scene of the battle field again
flashed before me. -
"What OF the charged" l inquired
anxiousiy, making desperate effort to
rise.
The sharp unnatural tone of my own
voice startled me, and my strength was
unequal to rustic even the covering of my
couch. = '-.. ,*i ',--
''Do not try to walk now, Charley; you
will be strong very soon.' 1t was the
voice ofmy wife. In a moment realized
that 1 was home. On the shore Of the
northern lake. l glanced through the
window, and the waving branches associ-
atcd swithfmY thoughts of the battle scene
were not there, but the snow lay heavily
ON the ground tglistening in the sunshine
Many months had passed away--a blank
period in my existence.
AS recovered my strength and COM
prehension learned the critical ordeal I
had passed in surviving a severe wound
that caused a fracture Of the skull, and
necessitated the operation Of trepanning.
Still many more months elapsed before
/ was again abroad. The war was ended,
and the people were rejoicing in the
restoration of peace. was rendered and
accepted the old position I had resigned
in response to the call of arms-teacher of
mathematics in the academy Of my native
town.
The routine Of the position was famil-
lar enough, but close attention to its duties
shortly developed the fact that my nervous
system had not recovered from the severe
shock it had sustained, and my mental
powers were impaired.
As nearly as could define the effect
produced, the injury seemed to have inter-
rupted the harmonious action Of the brain,
and the right and left lobes apparel to
operate independently, and take separate
and distinct cognizance OF emotions and
sensations conveyed by the medium of the
senses. Every thought seemed to have
its duplicate, necessary to completes i'm
preston. When l studied single prob
lem, and the solution occurred immedi-
ately would follow the solution again, as
if emanating from a second mind acting
in conjunction, and always little slower
in its perceptions. This dcrangement
vexatiolls and confusing at first, continued
to increase as devoted myself to mental
labor, until finally l was compelled to
abandon my position in the academy.
The necessity was indeed a hardship
Us it left me without the means Of sus.
tenance. My brave and devoted wife bore
up nobly under the aMiction, and insisted
that should indulge in the repose thai
my critical position demanded. Mean
time she turned the fine musical faculties
acquired in better days to good account
and we continued to live comfortably fol
a time on the proceeds of her labor
Comfortably, did say? No, it grieved
me constantly to see her toll 81, arduous-
ly, with the double responsibility OF
household cares. And l knew that hel
assumed cheerfulness was the cover OF
painful solicitudc she experienced on my
behalf.
This anxiety did not tavorably effect
my arrangement. 1t grew more marked
and depressing. Vague fears haunted
me by day, and narrowed the long, sleep
less hours of night The strange percep
ton of a double intellect became 50 fal
defined that the senses were sympathetic
The sounds that reached my ear were re-
peated as if by echo; taste and touch
were fanciful and erratc, and at nigh
wierd, fantastic forms fitted before m,
eyes, and real objects assumed the shap,
of what they were not, and drove me t.
the verge of delirium, while the etfor
constantly exerted to retain my reason
only 1'ej the =, more p, prostr"ted> the menta
powers " -
Ultimately my malady reached stage
at which seemed to realize both physi
cal and mental and double existence. A
times could distinctly see the form an(
features Of my second self, directly con
fronting and gazing upon my more immed
late self. And then my own voice ad
dressed me and we conversed together
myself and second self--now condoing il
common misery, and then in tantalizine
and horrible imprecations. ., ~:
The terrible delusion' became unbear
able, and i q. felt that reason could no
much longer retain command of the dis
ordered facilities. 1t was night whe,
my mental agitation had reached higl
degree. My wife, had fallen asleep
overcome with constant care and watch
ing. I was pacing the sitting room. o
our chamber, about the hour of midnight
as was my habit. Occasionally I recline,
on aIsofa, in the hope of catching sligh
respite from the distress of nv terribl
hallucination;; but it was for a momen
,nly, -, s...... 49, -. - <,,,.. =
Ilay down again on the sofa. M
Drain seemed whirling in q blaze of fir
,nd 7 sprang up stricken with ,nadnes,
The horrible spectre stood before me wit
hendish grin of derision. I grasped
heavy. piece Of furniture and dashed at j
Wlthsthes anrysOf a aomaniac.t The spectr
seemed Palpable to the blow, and yielded
saw it vanish in darkness That snreaa
before M me, and my tormenting second sci
was gone. broke forth in frantic lanol,
ter, that returned in hundred qechoe
around me, and sank exhausted, uncon
scious to the floor. s. - :