The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1879-04-17
WAITS AND wHINIS.
THE PRETTY MuKMAIn

She was 4" scream de Ia creme" Of the dairy.
No hair butter own golden;
How sweet were the rolls it was rolled in;
Would she rive me a whey
II to her 1 might say
Pretty things, for she served to embolden
fear IN curd her a.splsasurs
/ said, " You're gallon good messure;"
And spoke Of the ills
| Caused by love and its thrills
| am milk-ean you cure me, my treasurer
A cov-nundrum then displayed
said, " Cows in deep water wade in;
Can you tell how they steer
when the land they would nearYr
" By their udders, o. course" laughed the maiden.
Nov tell me, young mar, did you ever
Talk nonsense beiore3" "No, yerl"
What, never7' "oh, we'll
Hardly sverl" Ifell;
And that meeting I'D churnsd then forever.
..Gallows executions may be called
suspensions OF public judgment.
There are vampire bats in Brazil
that spread wings nearly as large as a
turkeys.
The man with speaking boots never
takes a back seat. Always set him down
for the front pew in church.
Let a bill be offered prohibiting
more than fifteen Italians with hand-or-
gans coming over at time.
There are some men in this world so
mean that, if possible, they would use
the bark of dog for medicinal pur-
poses.
Slang is bsd enough when uttered
by a man but when it proceeds from
the rosy lips Of gentle woman it is un-
bearable.
Since paper napkins were introduced
by a manufacturing firm in Wisconsin, a
year age, one Boston firm alone has sold
100000 of them.
"A horseshoe is reckoned to be lucky
wedding present-except when it is pre-
sented to the groom with an animated
mule's>leg attachment.
"A woman who can write a letter
without two-thirds of her tongue pro,
truding from her mouth is fitted for a
better sphere than this.
Though the average small boy may
steal away and eat a watermelon all by
himself, he never refuses to divide his
medicine with little sister.
"A young lady rejoices that she did
not have to buy any furs this winter,
because the gentleman that waited on
her was both muf and boa.
"A mules head does not contain a
brain capable of culture and refined
rearing, but it is wonderful to what ex-
tent the other end of his form can be
reared.
1t costs 81, 100000 annually to educate
the children of the United States, and
it is probable that just before school to-
day one>third will be playing marbles
Tor keeps"
If you think that no one cares fos
you in this cold world just tell your
neighbors THAT you propose to keep hens.
You will be surprised to see what an
immediate interest theyswi manifest in
you.
We once heard a facetious music
seller announce, 40 Say Not Woman's
Love is Bought" all for the price of one
halfpenny. A modern music seller an
nounces. Thou Hast Loved and Left
Me" for ten cent?.
Somehow or other this winter got by
without any Iowa woman shooting a
large gray wolf. The newspapers -
the Hawkeye State have been so alb
sorbed in politics they have been little
remiss in duty Burlington Hawkeye.
CON THE SANDS"
At last see that death is but
A door in darkness swiftly shut,
A dropping out of warmth nd light,
A sense of unresisted blight
a sinking into beamless night
To life and love and sight and sound
Death is Indifference profound.
No more sweet hope or wild ds5I air,
Or gentle rest, or tender care
No more TO laugh, no more to weep,
No more swee, human Joy or grief
Only calm beyond belief;
calm, but not the calm Of sleeD
Death is to be awake forever
To love- and be beloved never!
To be pulselt Is shadow, hurled
Down the dim gulf that spheres the world
Where naught is found, and nothing sought;
Slipped from warm lies remotsst lex,
Death is suoremely this, to taink.
AN old fashioned lady wants to
know why the graduates of Vassar and
other female" colleges always have
their ages printed after names in reports
of alumni meetings-Miss l, Smith,
president coy; Miss Jones, vice-presi-
dent C6O); Mrs. Robinson, secretrry C7S):
etc., etc.
=" There is one thing about kiss
said a gentleman to his wife, " that
lakes life very dear to us men," oh,
know what it is !" was the reply, IT'S
pair OF pretty lips" Yes, indeed,
and the satisfaction a man has of know
ing that the lady's mouth is tightly
closed for short time"
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E-;oI,ffuI' GoaUa