Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-06-12
Sips of Fun.
Playing with dice is a shaky
business.

d who threatens to blow you
= brains out. He fiatters you.
: A pleasant smile is the sig1
! of friendship, but trying to Dor
: row FIVE dollars is the test.
: A Kentucky newspaper boastl
r of a society editor "who has NJ
/ peer outside the lunatic asylum.
e A man may grow up to be like
: a sturdy oak; but he commences
] life creeper.
Money that bank officers get
! away with is charged to run.
ming expenses.
, Mr.. and Miss Keeter are pre-
, pairing for business and the pre-
senting Of their little bills.
An Owego man, the Record
: says, calls his wife poor excuse,
. because she's better than none.
We have always been panied
to think that it was through wo-
man that our original progenitor
first saw snakes.
No self-respecting old colored
woman nowadays thinks of dy-
ing until she has reached the age
of 1O1.
The boy who was getting a
little too large to enjoy the fiat
terry of his mothers sisters, said
he had got "sic-oph-ants" long
ago.
"See how / ride DER the raging
manep exclaimed a man who
was thrown over his horses head
into a ditch on the other side of
the fence.
Artists have adopted different
emblems of charity. We WON
der none of them ever thought
of a piece of India rubber, which
gives more than any other sub
stance.
A MILDLY who had recently
joined his ship was interviewed
by the captain, who made the
trite remark: "Well, l suppose,
as of old, they have sent us the
biggest fool of the family"
"No sir" replied the modern
Percival Keene, "the fashion has
changed since your day"
Edison would do a great favor
to suffering humanity if he would
invent some way to induce the
impartial mosquito to bite ourI
next door neighbor and let us
alone. Under these circumstan-
ces we might even be convinced |
that the mosquito is one Of the
greatest boons.
A Brooklyn sick girl who
cleared space around thirteen
ears of green corn at one meal
the other day and picked the
fragments from between her teeth
with a hairpin observed, "If
ever l get well enough again to
eat much l think / could live on
corn"
When Daniel O'Connell died
thirty-two years, a meeting of
Irishmen was called in Boston,
and the late John G.. Tucker
made the opening address. His
first sentence was: "My country
men, O'COnnell is dead! Ire
lands cup of sorrow is now run
nin' over, an a few more drops
like this will make it full mtire-
ly!"
When the Confederate army !,
was ON its shortest ratlons, Gen
eral Lee demonstrated one day
with straggler for eating green
persimmons, and asked him if
he did not know that they were
unfit for food. "I am not eat
ing them for food, General" re-
piled the man, "but for the sake
of drawing my stomach up to fit
my rations."
"Will you marry me?" asked
Sir Reptitious of Miss Jennie
Rossisy. Certainly" replied
the blushing maiden; 81 am too
generous to refuse to grant a
small favor like that Yet, af-
ter they had been married few
months, tie gentleman found
it was a case of mistaken gen
erosity.
Misfortmes never come singly.
A man in Connecticut lost his
barn by fire last winter. Some
two months later his horse was Z
so injured that he had to be kill
ed. Soon after he lost several
hundred pounds of tobacco by a
storm which unroofed a shed
where it was stored, and now his
wife's mother has come to stay
with himl
81 can't lose my dollar and a
half" said a young man of San
Saba county, Texas, when with
his license in his pocket he ar
rived at the house Of his pros
pective father-in-law and learned
that his betrothed had eloped a
half an hour before. He bor-
rowed a spare horse and side
saddle, oyer-hauled the fugitives
and brought back the lady and /