Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1879-01-17
The Facts About Sam Snyder.
Max Adeler.

Of the county paper, when he sud
denly said:
q" Halloa This is queer. Why
it says that an English chemist ha;
succeeded in distiliiug whisky from
sawdust -
:. That's nothing said Abner
Byng, Tipping his thumb.
{" How 60 you mean, nothing
asked the Doctor.
"Oh, it's old, awful old. l knew
that years ago. Did you ever meet
Sam Snyder!'
mo, never met him.
Well, Sam was hard drinker
must have rum by one means or
another. He had no money and no
body to trust him or treat him. So
Sam somehow ascertained that whis-
ky could be made out Of sawdust,
and do you know what he'd DO =
What -
''Ie'd get SO drunk off Il fence
rail and q cross-cUt saw that he
-vuldn't tell a COW from q sugar
cured ham. Put him near to a
woodpile and a sawbuck, and let
him alone, and before II o'clock
he'd turn ont the most delicious
mint juleps you ever tasted.
Easily done, was it ?"
Easily? Why, one time his
family tried to keep him sober by
putting him out on the roof and
keeping him there; and do you
know what Sam did! Got boy TO |
tie a wash-boiler and four feet of
lead pipe to a string, and Sam fsh>
ed EN- up, and in three days lie had .
every shingle into cocktails, |
ana he tell through into the garret
lii such a trighLlul condition Of in
,oxicatiOn that they had to give him
electric shocks from fOrtyoUwo cell
battery to bring him back 10 con-
seriousness"
You know this to be a fact, 20
you?'
''Celtainiy; | was there. Why, |
hat man acquired a preference Tor
liquor made from wooG, and turee
times, TO my certain knowledge, .he
got mania potu from consumption
If distilled pie-board5 and potato
Washers. lie drank up four sets Of
;halr-legs; and, one Fourth of July,
when Ills wife stopped his destruc-
ion of the furniture, he celebrated
he day calling in three or iouI
friends to drink a new kinI Of
energetic brandy that he'd just
made out Of Wiudow-siil anu a :
lothes-prop. Drink. Why, sir, l :
hedge you my word, Snyder IN a !
Ingle winter drank up a smoke
.ouse, three waShtubs, and a front
oor. No-4mg could sep him when {
e got gong
why did he prefer domestic
teusiS!
lie didu't. There was wood
ut back Of his house that belonged
0 his aunt. Sam d 20 out there !
lth a meat sa#, or any kind Of q
lw he could get, ana in two years
e had stimulated his system with :
gLt chestnut trees, four persiu-i :
.ons, one oak, aud fifteen saDlings :.
{ various kinds. Trimmed that r
rove out so that his aunt couldn't +
INT 1t to picnic parties. Nearly .
,0ke the old Iady's heart, too" i.
Did he kill himself drinking - i
. Well, not exactly. I'll tell you e,
DIV 1t was. 1t seems that he was 81
lunted for a long time with the .
.ea that is he could distiiI the s.
resbyterian Church steepIe he :.
}uii turn out an article that d bear !,
resemblance, somehow, to old APP, a
c brandy. Queer, wasn't it! .
ut the man WASH t exactly right ; l.
S MUD was diseased. So one e
ght he got On the roof OF the
lurch with ladder to steal the =
eeple. Wnen he got theFe-I d.
Inno how 1t was, but the idea =
emed to strike hlm to taste the c,
ing, maybe 10 see II he was ri lit 81
,out the flavor. and-he must have I.
zen wild when he did it-he ac~ u
ally swallowed the weather-cock, :.
ld there he stuck, whiring around
4 night as the wind struck him
cad? lie was deader n Martin
an Buren, when they come to
Ike HIM down - f
i" He swallowed the weather cock, %
d he 2" g
d" Yes, sir; swallowed it," $
Well, that wasn't half as hard to :"
Tallow as your whole yarn said ;,
Tyler. ;.
" You don't doubt my voracity, =
hope ?" said Abner. You do !,
ell, if you have a quarter about b.
u it will soothe my wounded feel i
IS. l only want a. I"
Just at this juncture Blyler n,
cked Mr.. Byng off the porch, and Sc
bner walked away to the next q
vern with faint hope that the = =
rtender might give his credit one ~