The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-11-20
Gbe ddsIlingtom enterprise.
J. W. HoUGHTON, Publisher.
WELLINGTON. OHIO.
VARIETIES.
WELLINGTON,
OHIO.

Poor servants are servlle creatures.
Can making false hair be described
as switch-craft.
Thanksgiving turkeys don't de-
mand bone-us.
Hens are cliquey; they are very
exclusive in their sets.-Bostors Post.
"A worm in the chestnut is worth
two in the mouth.-SteubenUill Herald.
The mosquito no longer plays his
cornet. He has what the musicians
call frozen lip.
There are about five hundred arch
cry clubs in this country, but the In
dians use rifles.
women make tolerable wives"
says the London World. What will
make better onesP
"A poet speaks of "the voice of the
grave" It's probably the graves tone.
Philadelphia Ledger.
1t is nice to be handsome, but it is
a great deal handsomer to be nice
Cern,ont (O.J Courier.
"A popular degree-A. B.-After
Bachelors.-Er. Not quite so popular
A. NJ. After Marriage.
The man who doubles his horn too
often will eventually emerge from the
little end of the horn Whitehall Times.
AT Logan, Utah, the other night, a
Limburger cheese factory was struck
by lightning and all the people moved
out Of town.-N. ?. Herald.
"A New York paper insists that un-
dertakers should not be permitted to dis
play coffins to the public gaze, and that
all funerals should be held at night.
"A man who will put on wet stock
ings when he draws on new boots will
never have corns. Never let shoe
dealer chalk your heels.-Free Press.
-Remittent fever is not contagious,
At least delinquent subscribers do not
seem to catch it. no matter how much
they are exposed. Gate City.
"A deaf man can get out of 3 crowd
as soon as any one when a collection is
to be taken up, and yet the fact has al
wayspuZaled philosophers.-Free Press.
-Adolphus: Yes; if she is continu-
ally casting sleeps eyes at eve it would
be perfectly safe to say that her eyes
are lambent.-Bostors Journal of Com
nerce.
They now have an invention by
which eight different messages can be
sent over q single wire at once. This
makes it tvery easy to telegraph the old
man for money.
The dowry of the future Queen of
Spain is $4,OOO,OOO Why in thunder
didn't she let US know it before going
and throwing herself away on that
Spanish fellow?-Boston Post.
T The ightning-rod man who gets
ahead of an Indiana farmer has got to
outrun bulldog, a shotgun, the old
man and from two to five neighbors
armed with pitchforks.-Free Press.
"A Milwaukee girl suffering from
lock-jaw was left alone with mouse by
the shrewd physician, and she con-
trived to open her mouth enough to give
a yell that made the crockery in the
china closet rattle.
"A Kentuckian went West not long
since without any especial purpose, but
merely, as he said, ito get the hang Of
frontier life." He got it, and the horse
was restored to its rightful owner
Cincinnati Gdzette,
There has been a great movement
in cotton, and no little excitement on
Change. The papers are asking who
is behind this movement? We don't
know, but will venture to suggest that
the girls are.-G r.. People.
Professor Wilder says: If you are
choked, get down upon all fours and
cough" But, Professor, wouldn't it
look better for a gentleman at dinner
party to put his napkin to his mouth
and get along with "ahemmingP"-
Boston Post.
"A newspaper poet tells us "there
is no morrow" We sympathize with
the poor, deluded man. May be he
never felt the funny experience of a
note coming due OH the succeeding day
and no lucre wherewith to iquidate.-
Danbury NeCS. .
"A man can never pass around a
hat on the sidewalk without kicking it;
yet hat may be passed around in a
church aisle, and everybody will feel
obliged to put money in it, and treat it
respectfully. 1t all depends upon the
style and location of the hat.-NetD Or
leans Rcayane.
Nancy Jane Pratt of Iroquois
County, Ill, ordered a hunter off her
farm and received the saucy reply: 80,
you amt in any danger; amt huntin'
old maids" She abruptly turned,
went into the house, came out with a
gun, opened fire on the hunter and
Killed his dog. The fool threw up his
hands and yelled: "Do you mean to
murder meP'' The farmers wife an
swered: go, you amt in any danger;
amt huntin' FOOLS" and she brought
the gun again to her shoulder, while
the chap yelled louder than before.
Here the husband put in an appearance
and toed the fellow off the premises
st. Adams advertiser.
The Children's Aid Society of
Cleveland, Ohio, has number OF
smart, good boys, from four to twelve
years of age that are ready for homes
on good farms. Farmers should make
application at once, as the Society is
anxious to. dispose of those who have
had the proper training in order TO
make room Cor other waits. The sue.
cess of the Society depends on receiving
the waif and providing for its future.
This cannot be accomplished except by
the law of love. Individuals, Associa-
tions, Churches, Sunday Schools and
families are requested to send money,
clothing or provisions for the support
of these poor children, as winter is upon
them. All communications by mail,
railroad or express should be addressed
to William Sampson, Superintendent