Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1879-03-27
THE MAN Of CHEEK.

TO your notice a new and valuable
article--staple as four-moDey re
funded if it don't give sslisfAction-'
We don't want it, we said, turn
ing back to the desk.
That's something, boss, you can't
tell much about until you see the ar
ticie.' And he set the heavy carpet
bag down on the floor with q sup
pressed sigh ofrelief. This here is
Pratt's Perennial Grease Extractor
and Corn Salve, the family friend
and the marvel of the nineteenth
ce injury
You cant sell anything here this
afternoon
'What'il you bet can't.
We turned around again and ex-
amined him. He was a short, we'll
built man with q weather beaten.
brick-red face, ). mild, blonde nous
tache and impudent pale blue eyes.
A stiff felt hat was cooked iauntily
over his right eye. His clothes were
shabby and thin for the weather :
but their conscious, defiant poverty
gave them snowy set that suggest.
ed that they would be new and
handsome if they could but that
since this was not possible they did.
Mt care continental.
1t required only a moment to take
this in. He was not going to waste
that moment. He went on steadily,
the husky stridency OF his profes.
sional tones filing tho room and jar.
ring on :he ear like the filing of
saw
'Pratps Perennial Grease Extrac-
tor, sir, will take the stains out of
anything from pair Of trows to
a sOIled conscience, and leave 'em
fresher'n daisy in spring, and in
its capacity OF corn salve, it is good
for corns, bunions, ingro wing nails
callouses on the toes and tubercIes
on the lungs. 1t has also boon en-
ployed with great success in the
treatment of Group and varicose
veins. Bein' of purely vegetable in
grejents, it will not hurt the smallest
child, and | have medical stifkits
from tho most eminent doctors in
Missouri, Nebraska, Iowa, Wyoming
and other States and territories, 3
wells Canada, Jersey and the " ole
European continent to prove that it
will do what | say every time and
no mistake. The secret of it's com
position was discovered accidentally
IN Michigan by an old woman and
Sit DOWN.
AN old woman who arising early
one morning-ehi'
Sit down 2
He looked at US like q man who
has had to stand great many bad
jokes and went on.
She fell down and-no | amt Sit
tin down to-day. Don't feel tired.
Sat down last year. Did l tell you
the price was only twenty five
cents-quarter Of q dollar for the
greatest boom
will you sit DOWN. we said in
our most decided tone. Never mind
about Pratt's ointment; we'll take
half dozen boxes
What fos?'
For the pleasure of your CONVEX
sation.'
You can have that easier by no
buyin'. So you want TO hear about
that old woman. Well fur's recol.
lect she fell down in the woods and
broke her.
Never mind what she broke. That
isn't what we want to hear about.
Did IL ever occur to you that it i'm
plies stnpendous amount OF gall in
you TO come into o mans office and
talk him TO death TO buy some Of
your salve?'
The reflection has crossed my
mind, he responded.
'Then.' said we, will you kindly
tell Us why you do il 2
Il will, be answered with queer
look in his pale blue eyes. sDid it
ever occur to you that this amt ex.
actly the ideal vocation for decent
man, neither in the particular Of re.
munerativeness nor in the pint of
popular respect !? Do you think
that the end of q mans spinal coll
umn is like the rudderpost of ship
and that he takes kindly to bein
kicked out of offices Pm speaking
OF his moral backbone and his moral
sternpost. Agents and canvassers
don't get kicked out Offices nova
days-not with the solid flesh aid
leather kick, that is. But to be
hunted out like an Ishmaelite or
NANCY purp-that hurts o mans
feelings wuss'n bootin' his physical
end. Yes, sir, his feelings-just
them. Mebbe you think the aversg pc
agent goes too long on gall to be able
to afford the luxury of feelings. Well
feelings is like mushrooms in their
style of growth-you understand me
sir. Pratt's Grease Extractor and
Corn Salve amt no relief for would.
ed feelings-but want you to know |
sir, they're blazing hereafter on
pants and hoofs. And only twenty
well you don't take no interest in
Pratt's little speciality. You want
to interview me on the agent and
canvasser business. It's nice,
healthy business for cast iron ali-
gator run by clock.wor But IT'S |
rather wearing on humans. Me
frinstance. average Is miles and
AZ flights Of stairs day. l amt set |
down before this since six o'clock |
this morning. I've sold six boxes of
the Extractor and salve to-day
sold them to you ten minutes ago.
I've been in l3 Offices this morning.
Eight of them told me to git out.
That's the regular form. Three
didn't say nothing-that's the next
most popclar style of treating o
canvasser. Two guyed me-give |
me taffy One wanted me TO go to-
| generally strike one polite man q |
day; and you are the nearest APP
proach to him this forenoon
well, why do you do it then?'
why? Why? Well cir, she's para.
letic and not able to do stroke of
work since the kid was born, jist if
teen years ago. Paralytic all that
time. poor little gal.