davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Weekly Trinity journal., 1879-06-07
THE APPROPRIATE WAY.

Collections of quaint epitaphs very Of
ten find their way into print: but how
appallingly rich our language is in ap-
horisms on death, ofall styles--serious,
slangy ana ghastly humorous. Indeed,
every deceased person may be suited with
an appropriate one, indicative of his pro-
fession, character and manner Of death.
Thus the polite m an bids farewell to the
world ; the merchant closes his early ac-
counts the little child is received among
the angels the lamp-lighter has had his
lamp of life extinguished /; the wearied
60 to rest the night watchman's hour Of
relief strikes +; the sailor runs into harbor
the ferryman pays his fare to Charon
the reaper bites the grass the gossip
goes TO the silent tom b; the grave Dig
ger sinks into the pit; the tippler's last
draught is drawn the matchmaker runs
down the unhappy breathe out their
last sighs the wanderer has gone to
his home the weaver's life-tbread is sut
by the fates (; the boetblack goes to the
shining land the musicians IS wind has
given out or his string has snapped the
dentist is filled in the hutist pipes on his
last note the jew rests in Abrahm's lap;
the smokers pipe is put out the slug
gard goes to the land that knows no wax
ing the commission merchant Is con-
signed to the dust; the nobleman is
gathered to his fathers the eyes OF the
inquisitivc are closed by death the scene
shiEtor "shoves clouds )" the learned
give up the ghost the jockey has run his
last race tho washerwoman has wrung
out her spirit the atheist has had TO be-
leve in it the General has been trans
ierred to the great army the servant
goes to meet his master the Indian
brave goes to tho happy hunting grounds:
tho hero has fought his last battle the
soldier has stacked his arms the glutton
must eat the dust; tho butchers 70 the
way OF all flesh the ticket agent passes
in his checks the Pos:ofice empl0ye
goes to tho dead~letter office the bloated
bond ,holder is called in; the banker is
drawn on by death. and without recourse
honors it the Jig dancer shuflles of his
mortal coil tho linguist Is translated to
n better lard tho distiller goes to the
land OF spirits ; the tragedan makes his
exit from the stage Of life the body
snatcher awaits the resurrection the
angler has at last become food for the
worms the loaier "skips the gutter !"
the florist goes whore the woodbine
twineth tho ice man stifIens up; the
cIothior non-suited at last the insur-
anco man pays his last premium the
hod carrier goes to the highest round
.he printers form Is locked the engi-
neer's throttle is closed the policeman
is pulled TO his narrow cell the base
baliist makes home run ; the Mormons
60 up to tho Celestial Salt creek the
farmer is "planted !" the lynched border
man "walks off barrel, climbs q sap
ling, dances on air, or becomes cotton
wood fruit, or is left kicking at the Unit,
ed States - and lastly the CONFIDENCE
operator well, he leaves for 's.,, ,n
known "--but in the endssfh.v ors .u
dead, just the same Hartford Conn \
Post.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1879-06-07

A HEN Stony Young America"
contributes the following essay on the
hen; Hens is of two kinds--guina hens
and other hens. Guinea hens can sing
further an make you madder than any
beest but ham organ, but the other hens
goze pits that's yellow in the middle. Mi
big brutber is hen, but he amt set
ter keep his dog. Hens pits is good fride
with ham an Easter is sure to bring 'em
out, only if you keep 'em too long they
smell, but wood rather have a other
nosega. When mems is ofiul young they
stays in the pits till it's timo to be born
ed, an then they kraks the enwollop an
Gums out. Boy hens has spikes on thare
ankils when tha grow up, but tha don't
ware pantaloons, only if L was that kline
Of fellow ide ruther have thumb that
didn't stick out behind. Wen hens dun't
turn out to be hens tha call 'em roosters
which is the Father, an ide like to see
you cal my father rooster you couldn't
cline good Yonkers Gazette.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1879-06-07

WRESTLING GIRLs.-Show me the grl
who has the hnrdhood to whistle in these
days, when everything NATURAL, even To
the very hair OF ycur head, is at dis.
count, ard I'll show you a girl who can
be depended upon-one who Will not fail
yod in time Of need, and will give you
the true, hearty grasp, the cordial hand
shake, the warm genuine welcome; no
tip of the kid glove, and cold show do
you do?" who can brave danger, look
toll in the face without shrinking, laugh
with those that laugh, and weep with
those that weep" as well as whistle with
those that whistle; who can, in short,
take the world as she finds it; rough and
rugged, and not 60 through life as though
she were walking on eggs, and afraid Of
cracking she'll; who deals in substance,
not shadow.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1879-06-07

1t sesMsss6at young man and wo-
'D,SM of Bucksport, Maine, we're not SO
fnuch married as they thought they were
n short time ago. They mot and were
each charmed by the others qualities. A
mutual friendship grew up which In a
few days riponed into love. II was agreed
that they should be married, and after q
brief lapse Of time they visited we'll :
known Justice of the Peace in that town
and were married, or supposed that they
were. Two weeks passed on and The dis
coyery was made by the supposed JUS
tice Of the Peace that his term Of Office
had expired prior to the marriage core
mony, and that the couple we're not le-
gally married. The surprise Of the man
and his aliianced when the state Of the
case was told them can hardly be imagin-
ed They had lived together rs man and
wife for two weeks, and the announces
ment Of the fact that they we're not mar
ried created quite little sensation. But
tho sequel is even stranger than what
went before. The would-be husband
said to his intended wife that they would
go and see some one who was really q
Justice of the Peace and get legally mar
ried. She said she believed she did
not care to, that she had had enough Of
married life for the present, and persist
ing in that opinion she left town the
next day for Boston.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1879-06-07
A PIE-EATING MATCH.

A pie>eating match was one of the at
fractions to speculative benefit perfor-
nance at the New National Theater last
evening. Ia addition to the other features
il brought quite shower Of silver to the
box,clerk and an occupant to every seat
in the building. A pie match to the
sporting mind suggests at once two con
ditiuns. First the winner shall bite
through greater number Of pies, placed
one on top of another, than his adversa-
ries, the pies under each wide-opening
jaw to be of the same thickness, and to be
bitten either from corner or side, as the
agreement may be made. Second, all
contestants shall be stationed at equa
distances from and around table, or
which is placed an equal number of pies
for each person engaged. When the sig.
nal is given each man grabs his pie, and
the one disposing "by fairly eating hi:
pie or pies" first is the victor, and thus
wins all the stakes concerned. Such q
match was the one last night. There were
four contestants, each to eat one pie placed
near the edge of the table which each
person stood touching. John Kelley,
James Haynes, Daniel Lindsay and Pc
ter Donnelly came to score. The subjects
on which they were TO operate were dys-
peptic- looking m ince pies, each fully ten
inches in diameter, and suggestive ofther
general appearance of having been kept
IN stock since-say, Christmas. Stage
Manager Jones said: Ready (each
man straghtened his limbs and gave his
body sort Of warning shake), two, fret"
and in an instanta pie struck each mouth
with n report almost like that of a cannon.
The man that held the watch lost the count
in astonishment, for he said that he saw
tho top Of n head fall onto pie so sudden.
ly that he could think of nothing else ex-
cept the funny trick bed he'd seen in n
pantomime, which turned into table,
chair and great whale in less than two
seconds. In fact, he was not sure wheth-
er the head merged its identity into the
pie, or Uice Uersa. He was trying to tell
about it, and bad just said "Why, it's
like pantomime," when somebody call
ed "time," The pies were gone, but the
watch holder had no record. However,
tire winner was Daniel Lindsay, who
gulped down his last tremendous morsel
while the other :hree were choking over a
piece that preceded their last, and thus
the match ended, and Lindsay pocke;ed
ten dollars for his success as bfurcated
pig.
There was another match for five dol
lars that nobody won. Three lads came
to the table, and at the word each grab
bed his pie. simultaneously with the AR
rival OF each pie Mt each mouth came an
oath from euch contestant-a sputtering
out Of the morse bitten off, and the hol
low sounds of pies thrown violently upon
the stage found ny echo in the wild laugh
ter that arose from the crowded house.
In1'm&p who would have won that five
dollars would have eaten pie Of which
an untooked salt macf1aaS' q; n large piece
Of leather, n half pound Of straw, not TO
speak Of n lot Of wire, few nails ana "
pice Of cloth, were among the ingredients
Phiiddeiphi0 Times.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1879-06-07
Weekly Trinitu 5ouynal.

Ha5- The OUR.V:gL" has no agents
the Publisher preftrrins 10 do b"sfnsss
CiEh .GdUrrtisers direct. .sdUerifsins s
Rates furnished on application.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1879-06-07

A YOUNG woman who had never learn-
cd the gentle art of cookery, being desir-
Gus Of impressing her husband with her
knowledge and diligence, manages to
have the kitchen door ajar on the day af-
ter their return from the bridal trip, and
Just as her lord comes in from the office
exclairns loudly: "Hurry up, Eliza, dol
Haven't you washed tho lettuce yet
Here, give it to me where's the soap p
Weekly Trinity journal., 1879-06-07

SIS that bayonet which l sec before
me? asked the intimidated Bourbon voter
with two revolvers in his belt. bowie
knife down his back, and a shotgun
slung over his shoulder Napa Register.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1879-06-07

The weather continues very change
able in Central New York. A few days
ago man in that country was sunstruck
right at the close Of a snow storm, be-
cause he couldn't get his ulster off quick
enough.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-10-16

'AxDERsosvnLE."-This IL the title of Q book soon
to be issued by ID. T. Locke of the Toledo Blade b.
ing story Of Andersonville and other Rebel PRISONS
- experienced BY private soldier. There Is an up
rising Of the loyal spirit equal to that of 1861, and
there arc reunions Of soldiers al over the land to
talk over past campaigns, and renew their oath of
fidelity to the Union. This revival has been caused
BY the fact that the Rebels defeated in the war have
obtained almost complete control of the Government
and have shown that they are ectuated by the same
spirit that possessed them Of old. As aid to this
revival nothing equal the story Of Jacksonville
and other rebel prison pens related those who suf
fered It 10 story of brutality, cruelty, suffering
starvation, and murder. Nota County ir the United
States but has families who lost members BY violence
N these Rebel prisons Everybody WI want this
book. 1t contains 60 pages md aboat ~ ilustrs
lions, and ID sold at lower rstcs than subscription
books heretofore. 1t can be bought only by sub
scriptton. j. p. Wilson is agent for Centre Town.
ship. and d now cauvassing for subscribers
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-10-16
GENTLE.

Items are very scarce here but the excitement ia
somewhat great, since the Greenback Convention
met at Troy. They intimate that they will elect the
majority of the County officers. Would say, "Lord
help them" for they need help. We notice, from
conversation, that many Republicans who voted
with the Greenbackers last year, are coming back
into the fold heartily sick Of the Greenback
There IL no place like home.
Otto Jones has bought out Samuel Gramer's entire
stock of hardware, and contemplates removing the
same to his store room, which contains stoves and
tinware.
The public schools, over which Professor Maltese
has charge, is progressing finely.
There was pleasant party at the residence of Mr.
Snively, last week The guests were numerous
The young folks enjoyed themselves by having q so
eial hop. Mr.. and Mrs. s. know how to make il
pleasant and attractive. Long may they live.
Our friend and townsman, Mr. Walker, is i'll with
the mumps-
A rather sad accident occurred within the town
limits, last week. Mr. Daniel Ruby and family,
mowers from Butler County, PAL while passing
through here, their little boy Of seven summers at
tempted to alight from the wagon when in motion
his foot slipped, and he whirled under the
wheels which passed him, breaking both thigbs
Dr. Carter was summoned Immediately. The case
is progressing veil - could be expected, under
the circumstances Mr. Raby and family came al
the way from Pennsyivania in . wagon.
Charley Burkhalter paid . visit, Tuesday.
GOSSIP.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-10-16
We also keep a Full Line of California Canned Go
JOHNSON, TOWNSEND q co.
LeOm0 lteIlass

Ev.,rholv /. in a rus. al, have nlentx IN do. II ia
wonderful to see the busness that i. carried ON here
Farmers bring their grain and stock here for ship
ming. and 90 home with their wagons loaded with
lumber: people come eight and ten miles to trade
Ieayin. their own towns to patronize us.
Mr.. Sol. Jameson is putting the finishing touches
on his new house We were by there.t he other eve
ming. and think il ia going to be very .toney- look
ipg house
Mr.. Kercher is also putting the finishing touches to
his new dwelling house.. 1t is a handsome house,
and il TO he fitted nm with all the modern improve
meuts. MIR. Kercher is liked by every body, and we
wish him much happiness in his beautiful home
Mrs. White and family have moved into their new
home, on Cherry Street.
Mr.. ID. L. Carpenters many friends were glad to
welcome him to Leona for short visit last Saturday
Mr. Carpenter does not seem to be pining away since
his defeat brfore the Reuublicau Convention.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-10-16

wish to announce to the teachers Of the County,
that have secured reduced rates both railroads
Tor all those wishing to attend the Doniphan County
Tsaehers Association, which convenes ct tie public
school building in Troy, the 18th inst, - previ
ousiy announced BY the Secretary.
From all points in the County, the Denver Road,
tickets can be secured from depot agents at one fall
fare for round trip. From all points the A. & N.
Railroad. round trip tickets can be had at the follow
ing rates: 2
From Doniphan, IS cents
From Bremen. 3 cents G
From Fannips. IS eents
From Highland Station, 50 eents
From lows Point, IS cents.
From White Cloud, tl.25
Tickets viii be good going, October 18th and 18th,
and returning, until the l9th
Prof H. ID. ncCarty and other. prpninent educa-
tors are expected to be present.
Teachers and all persons interested in the better
methods Of teaching cordially invited to attend
pleasant and profitable session Of the "young-
Association il anticipated.
f-. T. HEExEY, Co. Supt
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-10-16
Proceedings Of GFeenback Convention
DOnipham County. October l3, 1879.

Proceedings Of GFeenback Convention Of
D0niphan County, October l3, 1873.
Convention was called to order by w. ID. Rippey,
who was made temporary and also permanent Chair
man; John NJ. Tracy, Secretary, and S. Hatch, As
sistant Secretary.
The following committee were then appointed on
credentials: A. J. Mowry, C. c. Burke, Robert Mont
goncry, b. Harding, James jenkins, Thomas Flan-
uegan, Henry Bender, and L. N. Harness.
There was a committee appointed, one from each
Township, to recommend candidates for the respect
i've Offices to be filed who made their report, from
which the Convention made the following selections:
For Sheriff, lloyd Martini of Iowa Township.
For Treasurer, Joseph f. Hampson, of Centre
Township.
For Clerk, George s. Harris, of Centre Township.
For Recorder, James W. Jenkins, of Burr-Oak
Township.
For Surveyor, David B. Welding, of Wolf River
Township.
For Coroner, DIR. Otto, of Marion Township.
County Commissioner, ID District, George w.
Henderson, of Wayne Township.
The following resolution was adopted:
(See Trant's resolution editorial page.D
The Central Committee appointed for the ensuing
year are as follows:
W. ID. Rippey, of Wolf River. Chairman John NJ.
Tracy, of Centre, Secretary; B. Harding of Wash
ington; A. Dutton, Iowa; Thos. Flanagan, Marion;
Isaac weyer, Wayne; C. c. Burke, Union: Samuel
Kirkpatrick, Burr-Oak.
Convention adjourned.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-10-16
Road Notice.
THE STATE OF KANSAS, lss
~ DoxIrHAx COUNTY,

THE STATE OF KANSAS lss
-r~ DoxIrHAx COUNTY.
OFycK or COUNTY CLERK
TKor. October 8. 1e79.
NOTICE IL hereby given, that petition present
IN ed to the Board of Doniphan Csun
t Kansas ut their meeting the 5th day Of October
le9 asking that road be established the following
points Wit Beginning the northeast Of the
north east quarter Of section eight 2 In town
ship four 90 In range twenty 2 and running thence
west the north line Of said section inctrseet the
Donphan and Troy State road distance ~ mile.
whereupon, the said Board Of County Commissioners
appointed the following named persona viz j. B. Kenne
dy, Samuel Harper and Hiram AeLn, viewers, with
to meet nj the place Of beginning Mon
day the ID day u November 1873 and proceed view
said rosd give an parties hearing. aad make report
said Board at their session be held the 7th day Of
November, Ie79
By order Of Board Of County Commissioners.
Attest; ID. w. MORSE,
October .. 1e70-4w. County Clerk.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-10-16
Road Notice.

THE STATE OF KANSAS Zoe
DoxIPHAN COUNTY
OFFICE os COUNTY CLERK,
TRor, October g. 1879. )
NOTICE il hereby given that petition present
~ ed to the Board Of Of Donphan Coan
ty Kansas their meeting the 9Th day Of October
1s9 asking that road be established at the following
points. to wit: Beginning at the bridge Ryans
Branch the line Of sections eighteen sj and nineteen
tl9 range twenty running the line Of
section eighteen s) TO Wolf River thence north. along
the bank Of said Wolf River To the section line between
section thirteen, t3 range nineteen. u9 and section
eighteen u.s. range twenty % east thence north to the
southeast Of the north quarter Of section
thirteen, u range nineteen 9) thence west along the
south line Of said quarter and section o the
Of the north quarter of section thirteen m
range Qs) thence north the end Of
what Is known jenkins Lane In section twelve n2D
range nineteen g) east Whereupon the said Boar Of
County Commissioners appointed the following named
persons viz: Fred Hsrpster. George II. RObb and G. o.
Turkeson. viewers. With instructions 10 meet at the
place Of beginning Friday the 3ist day Of October
1873 and proceed TO view said road give all parties
hearing and make due report 10 said Board their
sion 10 be held the It'll day Of November 1s7s.
by order of the Board Of County Commissioners.
Attest; ID. W. MORSE,
October D. 1s794w. County Clerk.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-10-16
To L. q. Allen.

FVAKE NOTICE, that yon have been sued by the I'm.
dersxned plaintiff In the District Court in and for
Donphan County State Of Kansas; that August 5th
he eled his petition against yeu defendant there
in the object and prayer q which l. to obtain Judgment
ayainst y0u for the Of 96 with interest March
18Th 1e7e snd for taking and converting your
own uss divers nursery stock hedge plants
plants evergreen green house fixtures and other per-
sosal property. Yea required answer said petition
on or before he 13h day Of Noveuber ss9 aid petit
ton VIII be taken cssfessed and Judgment rendered
against for said aDd interest," and FIR the sale Of
your property attached in this action.
X n. WILLIAMS Plaintiff.
BY AIBxKf PKRRT I'D n. PACE his Attorneys
October ., 16z9-lw Prs fec, t6.5.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-10-16
A GOOD PLAN.

As IAN ounce of prevention is worth pound of
cure 1t is good plan to buy bottle of KRESs Pc
YER TONIC, and during the season when Chills and
Fever are prevalent take small dose daily, thus
preventing the possibility Of any Aslaral
disease If you have the Ague, buy bottle and be
cured promptly and surely The money refunded If
it does not cure 1t contains no Quinine or Poison
and is pleasant to take. 2laug4m.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-10-16


1t is the general opinion that We have had about
enough rain.
The last man to make Ourpe0ple happy is Mr.. Adam
Schnell. He has opened up butcher shop in Led
ingtons old stand and everybody can have fresh
meat, luxury heretofore scarce in Doniphan.
We pity that young man from St. Joe, who walked
up to Doniphan from Atchison, to see young lady.
We pity him, because lie did not find her ut home,
and had all his walk for nothing. We heard he walk
ed all Atchison to find her. By good count, he
walked some sixteen miles, that day.
DIR. Welsh went up to st. Joseph, last Sunday, and
will stay several days. attending lectures at the Med
ical College of the St. Joe. Hospital
Some God-forsaken boys, who had not been invited
to select parties here have lately busted them
selves in spreading scandal against few young coup
les who attended the party at Mr. Weyers the other
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-10-16
horticultural society.

The Doniphan County Horticultural Society met at
the Court House, in Troy, Oct 9th, and organized
permanently by the adoption Of Constitution and
the election of officers
The officers for the ensuing year are: Y X. Stout,
President; r. P. Shulsky, ice-President; S. w.
Hinckley. Treasurer; s. Hatch, Secretary.
The annual meeting Of the Society for the election
of officers will be held at Troy. on the first Monday
in November of each year, and the regular meetings
on the first Monday in February, May, and August,
at such places the Society may direct at the pre-
vious meeting.
The next meeting will he at Troy, the first Monday
in November, at 10, A. n, at which time the Pres-
dent will announce the Standing Committees for the
ensuing year. r~
special business at the meeting will be the adop-
ton of list of fruits OF the various kinds most profit
able for cultivation in Doniphan County.
8. HATCH, Secretary.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-10-16

~ Mothers, when your dear baby suffers in
teething use DIR. winehell's Teething Syrup, it
soothes the pain regulates the bowels quickly
collie brings natural Sleep and is charming in all
its effects, that if you it once you will it al
ways. Sold by c. b. Bickford & Co., and ID. c. Sim
clair, Troy Aug Miller. wathena, at only 2 cents
bottle.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-10-16
DR.. kings California Golden Compound

DR.. King's California Golden Compound,
Is strictly vegetable preparation, and will posi-
lively cure Dyspepsia, Sick Headache, Acidity Of
Stomach, coming up of Food, Pain in pit Of Stomach,
Low Spirits Biliousness, Constipation Jaundice Liv-
err Complaint, or any affection Of Stomach or Liver
in the shortest time possible. You not asked to
buy until you know what you are getting. There
FORE as you value your existence, do not fail to to
your Druggist d. C. Sinclair, and get trial bottle
free of charge, which will show what regular one
dollar bottle will do. Ask fog DR.. Kings California
Golden Compound and take no other. Sold by D. C.
Sinclair Troy, Kansas. (D
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1879-10-16

Y Frank Welton has been able to sit up some
this week. He has not yet recovered his speech but
seems all right in other respects, and his friends are
more hopeful and cheerful than to his recov
cry He owes his good progress, more than anything
else to the tender nursing of his wife and three sis
terr who have stuck to him without flinching, ever
since his injury.