The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-10-11
EVERYDAY sPicERiEs.
fs school examination skull racer
THOSE who lily tease, make Others i'll

1s school examination skull racer
THOSE who lily tease, make Others i'll
tease. a3h $50. 89a4s
CHARITY and woman's tongue begin
at home.
AN undertaken gets his living where
another man dies
EMULATE Che mule; it is backward in
deeds of violence.
The wales of the orphan are generally
produced by the stepfather,
People with colds in their heads be-
long TO generation of wipers.
TuE falltrade is fair and will improve
when slippery sidewalks arrive.
| MILK is thirty-fve cents a gallon at
Leadville. II is only drunk by the
creme de la creme
| AMAN who goes fishing should take
a lunch along with him. He may get
no other bite.
ANYBODY is apt to be mistaken, but
boy never but once attempts to pat
short-horned bull on the head.
| IS How shall | finish my owlg'
you've got his eye. Now you'd
better put his body aronndit"
FEMALE base bah clubbcry is failure,
but the ladies never could succeed in
anything base.
CIV engaged for this set,'' said the
hen to the roosteras she went clueking
away. a f
THE unfortunate cur who was the
under one in the fight had the satisfac-
ton of licking his chops afterwards.
ZONE drop is ALL ask" said the
burglar as he dropped from the parlor
window and was of on the wings Of the
night.
In setting up an obituary notice re-
Gently typo put it !" he left many worm
friends and the friends justified the
misprint by squirming over it.
A YOUNG lady who has suffered from
baggage-smashipg, hashad her trunks
| covered with flannel this season, having
heard that fannelis chest protector.
Ir this wholesale destruction of the
monarchs Of the forrest continues,
every stump-speaker in the land can
have a country seat
"THIs is late fall" said Heffelspin,
ms he sustained midnight tumble. "To
be followed by an early spring" he added
as the tack he lit upon touched the
quick.
THIS IL the kind of a man the Penn
Yam Express IL; "a good lass is she
who, upon finishing lunch in company
with her ownest OWL turns her ruby
lips to him and says Nov let us have
the dessert
As the cool nights come on apace the
young man has more confidence iii himself
and takes his girl out with a Drawer air,
because he knows he won't see blazing
ice cream sign staring him in the face
every two dozen steps
SCENE, horse car. Enter an elabor-
ately dressed lady, diamond solitaires,
eight button kids, etc. Car crowded.
AT first no one moves. Soon gentle
man offers his scat. "Thank you; you
are the only gentleman here. The rest
is hogs" Fact Er.
Il DIDN'T at all expect company to-
day." said lady to her visitors, with 8
not very pleasant look, "but hope you
will make yourself at home" Yes,
indeed replied one of them starting Off
II will make myself at home as quick as
possible" if
HUSBAND" Maria, my dear, you
seem to be very lonesome in my com
pany. Do you not love me now as you
did before our marriageg Wife why,
Of course, Gerald, but you know since
our marriage we have become one, and l
feel lonesome without second party"
| WHEN we see two lady acquaintance
meet each other and then kiss, we Won
der why IL has never been fashionable
for gentlemen to follow the same ex-
ample. To see two old cronies come up
TO each other and remove chew Of
tobacco and then embrace, smacks q
little of unspeakable bliss. Owego Times.
A colored man was once asked why he
did not get married, Why, you see,
sah," said he, "I got an old mudder, an
hab to do for her, ye see, sab, an ii l
J don't buy her shoes an stockin an
bread an butter she wouldn't get none.
Now, eff was to get married, would
hab to buy dem tings for my wife, an
B dat would be takin' de shoes an stockin's
an bread an butter right out O. my
mudders mouf" 90 e
A LADY who has been spending the
summer at Lake Chautauqua says that
one Of the steamers that passed Fair
Point at the time when the great Sab
bath School Convention was in progress
were three women, rather gaudily
dressed and wearing diamonds enough
to indicate that they had plenty Of
money. Their conversation was carried
on in loud voice and attracted consid-
cradle attention. In front of Fair Point
stands statue Of Faith. See that piece
of stationary" said no one. II wonder
who it is. 1t must be Jupiter" "No,"
said number two, lit looks more like
Venus" "Well," said number three,
"anyway it's one of those people in the
Bible" ---
An Ohio Funny MAN.
The american Punch has q very truth