Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1879-04-03

would have taken smarter man than
Jack to know just where, if any where
her affections were placed. Yesterday
his own hopes scared buoyant as a toy
balloon, but to-day they fell as flat as
that same balloon when it collapses in
mid air; and thus his spirits rose and
descended like the mercury of ther.
mometer in our tickle climate, just as
they were thawed or frozen by the smiles
or frowns of the Lamar.
Upon this Christmas eve his spirits
were down, away down below zero, and
Jack was disconsolate, so that when the
flowing bowl presented itself as the ne.
penthe for his troubled soul, he readily
accepted it: Bob, the egotist, joined in
his carousals from reasons entirely differ
ent. His heart was bounding with the
hope of speedy success; "and to-mor-
row." ne said to Jack, in his great POM
posity, 1.-THE widow shall know her fate.
l will present myself to her as Christ
mas gift" Alas, so little did he know,
so little do any of us know what the
morrow or the whims of tickle widow
may bring out. Jack cursed the fate
which had not provided him with the
gift of gab," and those other advan-
tages which sewing machine agent
seems to be favored with more than other
mortals, and he laid the blame of his
discontinue all upon his unfortunate
nasal appendage. off it wern't for my
internal nose," he soliloquized, 81
should woo the widow and win her."
But the fumes Of the egg-nog permeated
his brain and softened all bis ,,arsher
thoughts, so that when he found his
room and crept between the cold, white
sheets Of his bachelor bed, it was with
milder feelings toward all the world, not
even emitting his poor despised nose.
Such Lethe, dear friends, is egg-nog
into which we may plunge with our
sorrows, our dreary forebodings and our
petty hates, and forget them one and all.
The bells that rang out so loudly, so
clearly, so merrily, on that Christmas
morning, awakened Bob Carter from his
heavy slumber, and babe him arise from
lis couch, array himself in his very best
attire and proceed to the conquest. He
rubbed his eyes and listened to the
mighty clamor of the many bells, and
they were more than Christmas bells to
him. They We're bells of victory, ring
ing out to the world the happy tidings
that Bob Carter had gained the lovely
widow and assumed control of the board |
ing house. No more adjusting of sew
ing machines for him. Here was an end
to bobbins, and shuttles, and broken
thread, and dull needles, and lost stitches
once for all. Never again should he
hem or fell, or braid, or cord, or pucker,
or tuck. He had removed his foot from
the treadle, he hsd detached the belt for
all time, and henceforth some less for
tunate individual could run the ma
chine.
"This is the propitious day, and I
hear victory in the air. he exclaimed,
springing to the floor, and straightway
going about his additions.
He had not advanced far in this exer-
else, when it occurred to him that he
should awaken Jack. At once proceed
ing to Jacks room with this motive, he
raped st the door, but there being no
response, turned the knob and entered,
with the express purpose of pulling
Jacks nose and arousing him from his
stupor; and as we have already init
mated that his nose was rather sugges-
tive of pulling, the fact will probably
account for the mischieyous Intention
which had arisen in Bob's mind. It was
yet early ard the room was quite dark,
but passing his hand over the bed he
felt the PROSTATE form of his friend
through the heavy blankets which Gov
cred him. Softly continuing his search,
he presently detected Jacks heavy beard
beneath his touch, and, almost imme-
diatel y, his fingers closed upon the OBJ
jet Of his quest-but, good heavens! the
nose was cold as an iceberg and hard as
stone.
Like a shock from battery, the awful
truth flashed through Bob's brain, and
ne clutched at the bed-post to save him
'elf from falling, as his: lips parted,
Ind be gasped:
"My God, he's dead!"
And then the horrid reflection seized
him that he was there alone with the
king Of terrors-al alone with the cold
and silent dead, and his feet took unto
themselves, wings, and he fed; fed like
he wretched little coward that he was,
earring through the hall like wild man,
md screaming at every step. Down the
tairway he flew, three steps at time,
like a rubber bali and yellej
With all the force of his lungs:
"Jack's dead! Jack Rogers is dead
nd cold as clay!"
The servants heard him first, and ran {
o meet the half-clad lunatic, with gap
ng mouths and wondering eyes. His l
dangled at his sides, his Slip /
,ers had dropped on the way, and his q
lhirt, by your leave, had escaped from s
he confines of his pantaloons; SO, while
lie was attempting an adjustment Of his !
'pparel, the door Of the widows cham
'er flew open, and the little lady popped I
ut. She was attired only in a robe de '
"lt--pardon us, but it was SO hand. c
omely embroidered that it were shame I
lot to give it passing mention-and her 9
ace was pallid with fright. =
Bob beheld her, and broke forth anew.
,"P.p-poor Jacks Dead" he chartered, q
'hile his teeth ratified tattoo, and his q
ps shook like aspen leaves. l
w, my darling Jack! my dear, darl- u
1g Jack! is he dead?" she walled, Y
ringing her hands, and gazing inquir-
1g]y into Bob's face. y
"He's dead, indeed" responded Bob, +
'hose fright had given way to astonish- n
lent; "and he's stiff as a poker" b
"Then bring light" she shouted to q
ne maids, as she rushed away to poor Il
ack's room. g
They came with the lamp, marching e
long IN single file, with Bob in the rear II
the column, the girls silently sobbing, !,
nd the half-dressed boarders, who were u
ow aroused, shivering in the cold morn
g air. They found the widow weeping
yer the recumbent form on the bed. r
nd lamenting most woefully for her \
ear, departed Jack. N
Bob listened to her terms of endear- y
ent, and witnessed her manifestations y y
|. grief with much amazement, and his Il
lind was quite busy with unp pleasant !,