The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1879-02-26

UISt mdhluS uls WILL. 10 oa1o uo Lou
never heard of a man in his right mind
doing anything of the kind. When we
had finished the will, he wished to pro-
coed to a choice of his "last words"
He wanted to know how the following
words, as a dying exclamation, struck
me:
ST die for my God, for my country,
for freedom of speech, for progress and
the univeral brotherhood of man !"
I objected that this would require too
lingering q death ; it was q good speech
for a conservative, but snot suited to
the %exigeneies of the field of honor. We
swrangled over a good many a~nte-mortem
outbursts, bat l finally got him to cut
his obituary down to this, which he
copied into his memorandum book, pur-
posing to get it by heart.
T die that France may live.
I said that this remark seemed to lack
relevancy ; but he said relevancy was a
matter of no consequence in last words
what you wanted was thrill.
I then wrote the following note and
carried it to Mr.. Fourtou's friend:
SR NJ. Gambetta accepts NJ. Four
tou's challenge, and authorizes me to
propose Plessis- Piquet as the place of
meeting tomorrow morning at day
break as the time ; and axes as tho wea-
pons. I am, sir, with great respect,
MARX TWAIN.
M. Fourtou's friend read this note,
and shuddered. Then he turned to me,
and sa:d, with a suggestion of severity
in his tone:
aHave you considered, sir, what
would be the inevitable result of such a
meeting as thisa"
We'll, for instance, what would it
be?"
"Bloodshed!"
"That's about the size OF it," I said.
tsNow, if it is a fair question, what was
your side proposing to shed?"
I had lin there, he saw he had made
-HDlunder, SO he fastened to explain it
away. He said he had spoken jestingly.
Then he added that he and his principal
would enjoy axes, and indeed prefer
them, but such weapons were barred by
the French code, and 30 I must change
my proposal.
After proposing Calling guns, rifles,
navy pistols and brick-bats, Mr.. Twain
left the choice of weapons to the other
second, who fshed out of his vest pock-
ct o couple of little things which I car
ried to the light and discovered to be
pistols. They were single-barrelled
and silver-mounted, and very dainty and
pretty. I was not able to speak for
emotion. I silently hung one of them
On my watch-chain, and returned the
-ether. My companion in.crime now un-
rolled a postage stamp containing W
raj cartridges and gave me n Of them.
I asked if he meant to signify by this
that our meh wereto be allowed but one
shot apiece. HI replied that the French
code permitted no more. I then begged
him to go on and suggest a distance,
for my mind was growing weak and
confused under the strain which had
been put upon it. He named si1ty-fve
yards. I nearly lost my patience. I
said :,
"Sixty-fve yards, with these instru-
ments2 Pop-guns would be deadlier at
fifty. Consider, my friend, you and I
are banded together to destroy life, not
make it eternal"
But with all my %persuasions, all my
arguments, ! was only able to get him
to reduce the distance to thirty-fve
yards; and even this concession he made
with reluctance, and said with a sigh:
"I wash my hands of this slaughter;
on your head be it."
There was nothing for me but to 60
home to my own lion-heart and tell my
humiliating story. When I entered NJ.
Gambetta was laying his last lock of
hair upon the altar. He sprang to-
ward me, exclaiming:
"The weapon, the weaponl Quick !
what is the weapon? ?"
g This !" and I displayed that silver
mounted thing. He caught but one
glimpse Of it, then swooned ponierouslv
to the floor.
When he came to he said, mourn
fully:
"The unnatural calm to which I have
myself has told upon my
nerves. But away with weakness I
will confront my fate like a man and a
Frenchman."
BE rose to his feet and assumed an
attitude which for sublimity has never
been approached by man and has seldom
been surpassed by statues.
After a long silence he asked:
"Was nothing said about that mans
family standing up with him as an Off
set to my bulk? But no matter; I would
not stoop to make such a suggestion; if
ne is not noble. enough to suggest it
himself he is welcome to this advantage,
which no honorable man would take"
sat what hour is the engagement to
begin?"
iMsHalf-past nine"
.aVerygood indeed. Have you sent
the facts to the newspapers?"
aSiri II after our long and intimate
friendship you can for a moment deem
me capable of so base q treachery"-
sTut, tut! What words are these, my
dear friend? Have I wounded You?
Ah, forgive ma; 7 am overlooking you
with labor. Therefore 60 on with the
other details. and drop this one from
your list. The bloody.minded Fourtou
will be sure TO attend to it. Or I my
self-yes, to make certain, I will drop a
note to my journalistic friend, N.
Noir p
sob, come to think, you may save
yourself the trouble: that other second
has informed M. Noir."
"H'mi I might have known it. It
is just like that Fourtou, who always
wants to make a display"
At hall past nine in the morning the
procession approached the field of Pies
sis-Piquet in the following order: First
came onr carriage-nobody in it but
Gambetta aud myself; then a carriage
containing NJ. Fourtou and his second;
then q carriage containing two poet
orators who did not believe in God, and
these had MS. funeral orafions project
Ing from their breast-pockets; then o
carriage containing the head surgeons
A2ELLk EEa1fa