The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1879-05-10
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


The telescope maker has an cyc-tube business
The quickest way for Logan to scare of Lowe
is 10 make speech at him.
Ex-Governor Palmer is the father Of nine chill
dren Don't ever be governor. ihats inc
safest way.-Elgin L<dcer
Michigan man who was beaten in lawsuit
not only praised the jury for its decision, but
made each member OF it present
The hand OF Providence is clearly shown by
the fact that worms are plenty at the time red
horse bite
The Kankakee Gazette has got down to stereo-
type plates-remnscences OF last years patent
medicine almanac.
Recently man died so suddenly in Connccti-
cut that his body was almost cold before his
grief stricken relatives found his will
The Dixon Sun boasts that although Dixon has
few negro shows, she had twenty-five births ana
ak funerals last week.
Putting and blowing are often considered sy-
nonymous terms. You will discover difference,
however, if, instead of putting man up, you
should blow him up.
The Boston Courier somewhat sarcastically re-
mHrkS. ne pUllCc VI ANCN w n aic '.i'- Wv
cinated But what's the use of it, They never
catch anything
The next great pedestrian contest will take
place the coming summer, in the West. We refer
to the annual match between Indians and United
States troops.
The Philadelphia Chroaick remarks that l.o-
gan's recent speech in the Senate was the ablcst
Al, ID ,l,s ;tn.
his speeches.
clergyman lately remarked to his congrcga-
ton that, notwithstanding the hard times and the
general reduction of wages, the wages OF sin
had not been reduced one iota.
The Danbury Ne,cs. copying the foreign item
that the pope had sent 5000 Tires to the relief OF
the Hungarian sufferers, explains that the lire
meant is 4 coin, not sewing machine agent.
We might remark that the lilac blossoms are
opening, but refrain from fear that some sense
less paragrapher may ask what we lilac that for.
An Iowa woman who gave birth to two girls and
two boys at a single litter has Just been beaten
by an Indiana woman who has given birth to three
boys the rule being that three of a kind beat two
pairs.
1t is amazing how little things sometimes will
affect great minds Julia A. Moore, the sweet
singer of Michigan was SO paralyzcd with aston
shment when informed that "ccat' didn't rhyme
with she cat that she has been unable to finish
her great poem on Spring.
Virgil says something about Fame moving Oh
swift wings and the sound Of her trumpet revcr-
beratng at incredible distances. So their Is
nothing to staggcr crcdubityi in the fact mention
ed by the Sandwich argus that the fame of Mr..
Klcinsmid, a local temperance orator, has reached
Seneca
The Ottawa Free Tratr is nigh unto the top
Of Illinois journalism, in point Of cxccllcncy.-
Elgiw Leadcr.
Which forces from us the painful confession
that the Leader is the only inland Illinois journal
that makes us envious of its sparkle and general
'get up"
Once in life time the great opportunity comes
TO every man, and he wins or loses a niche in the
temple of fame as he scizcs or ncglccts it. Logan
lost his when he failed to do his country Il sig
nal service by letting Lowe shoot him. His dis
! play of the white feather showed singular lack
Of proper public spirit.
fun at the great Illinois senator:
ave bless the Lord for Senator Logan Before
Logan had closed his great speech, on the day
before yesterday, there was not confederate
brigader TO be seen on the Southern side of the
chamber, and in fact there were not many Re
publlcans on the other side. We knew Logan
could put ten thousand to flight"
Bessie Bengum, who wrote rhapsody on
Spring for the Ottawa ReIIabiicdn two weeks ago,
must be very chicken hearted female, else why
don't she shoot Cullen for butchcring her bcauti-
full apoStrophe to September, "thc queen of the
year." by making her say the "grtca" of the
year.
Quoth Il wise man to youth one day:
TEL me your aim in life, pray"
mighty general I'd be-"
Replied the youth, ambtiously.
Then quoth the STRIPPING TO the sage:
Tell me your aim in your old age"
Then SAID the sage, little tired:
Aim, Oh! have no aim; I've fred
-Hdrurd Crimson.
Logan read the riot act to the rebels i'm the sen
ate III good style.-GiOJe- Democrat.
This" remarks the Baltimore Gazctte, sis cyj.
IDENTIFY mistake. The riot act, which is sup
posed TO emanate from the king himself, is al
ways couched IN the purest kings English. There
was no English in the stun Logan spoutcd"
The indianapolis Journd has this touching
item:
public lecturer at Logansport last week fell
on The stage and the audience Kissed him, be.
lieylng him to be intoxicated; but when il was
announced that tue man was dead the audience
repented It's hasty censure, and then the applause
was deafening.
Brother Haskell, 1.-THE reformed clown" is con
Quoting Methodist revival this week at Mcndo.
Ia When at Amboy, a few weeks ago, an cxcit-
ed sister tainted in one Of his meetings. and he
said: stand away, brethren and sisters, and let
the angels come in and fan her. feel as if a
quarter section OF heaven had cayed in and all
the stars were tumbling down on me You Chris
ians are like young pigs. ! have to pull your
ears OIL to get you up to the Gospel trough, and
after you get taste of the glories, nearly pull