The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-01-29
As to Hogs and Sausage Grind


ing.
To the Editor of The Morristown Gazette
I'll never do so any more,
Oh I'll never do so any more;
I've said damn too often,
Their hearts now to soften,
I'll never do so any more.
I am in sack cloth and ashes.
claiborne says 1 have profaned
the toll gate. Thou father of David
Yesterday eve a committee OF our
best citizens waited on me and told
me with tears in their eyes that l
was swearing too much. The holy
Moses !!
fl have profaned the toll gate it
has ceased to be sacred it Is taboo
ed, and its enemies may get a cock
shy at it, and thank me for being the
Arnold WinkeIried. A. was SWISS
and am Irish; but tilt the odds.
Concerning "shibbolething," l ap-
peal to the readers of the GAZETTE,
a large and an Intelligent constitu-
ency. Twelve hogs, 70 more no
less. did | kill this fall. OF the lard
rendering and its unctuous incense
I will not speak. Of sausage, scrap
pie and spare.ribs, will I not ejacu-
late. OF back.bones, liver and feet,
will I not murmur. With no one to
love, none to caress, did /, for three
days, grind sausage. That next
year to that sausage mill will be at
tached a hand organ dulcet, on
"Sweet by and by" and Thou art
gone to the grave" fully intend.
That I watched the thing squirt"
sausage in interminable spirals, l
need not say and, when the lovely
mess coiled in the pan, of many
things did 1 ponder. At least @so-
phagus. duodenum aud peritoneum
revolted, and | said, 81 will arise and
90 to my friends" l dreamed of
cruciaed chicken, apple jelly, and
pickle. Springing into the saddle,
twelve heart friends did l visit.
Each presented me with complete
set Of back bones and spare-ribs,
and in the quiet Of my chamber told
me they had just killed hogs" as
if / could not see the bristles upon
the carving knife and smell the
cracklipgs all over the house. l
considered this treatment "hoggish. y"
I wished the toll gate stopped by
the current of popular opinion, so /
dam(n)ed it. The force of habit is
strong, and in my backbone agony
1 commenced to dam everything that
I believed should be stopped.
had once a brother Gin the good
cause) with whom resignation had
become a science. One night he
started to leave a dark room. Ex-
tending both arms he wendell. The
door was half open, his arms went
on either side and his nose aud the
door eollided. He bent a moment
in silent prayer, then exclaimed,
"God bless my soul, / didn't know
my nose was longer than my arms"
That he said and nothing more.
have seen men bump their
heads or mash their fingers putting
on back-logs; others sit on pins ;
anon those who seized. at supper the
hot end of dish. But this spare.
rib business--truly not!
At meetings have heard preach
ers below until the waves Of sound
fell in breakers on the shore OF my
tympanum and until the pew back,
a sound conductors affected my spine
as the mosquito bite aud nettles
combined. l have asked the faith
full why this volume of reverberat.
ing gospel. and been told "the peo-
pie can be reached in no other way"
An humble aspirant for the public
ear, have perhaps used a few
words, not in the dictionary, yet in
common sense.
My mind has been diseased by
pork treatment until / have wished |
a committee of devils would take
the survivors of the swinish race into
the sea with the success of olden |
time. / love the masses and IN.
Willingly adopted their vernacuIar.
Be merciful to me, a correspondent. |