New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1879-02-05
VARIETY AND HUMOR.

III SHAall DOy ~ lau, Is large
boy ladderp
The convict's serenade to the
Warden: How can leave thee?''
Pistol firings on the steets are the
Offshoots of bad education.
Times are spoken of as very hard
when loafer announces that he is will
ing to work for his board.
Money makes the marego, steam
makes the cargo, and the sig hit of the
creditor makes the mango.
There are no more mercantile fail
ures. When merchants owe more than
they can pay they make assignments.
Fashion now allows young lady
to appear with one glove, for the pur-
pose of displaying finger-rings on the
bare hand.-M. 0. ttcdyuae.
When hungry, cold, and "busted,"
too, nor gold nor silver can he borrow,
what legend bursts upon his view? IT'S
"Pay to-day, and trust tomorrow"
Let man sit, for two years, on q
barrel, at, a political corner-grocery,
and he is apt to think himself good
enough to be appointed Judge.-N. 0.
Ptcayatne.
Nothing does 9 doctor SO much
good as to prescribe an ocean voyage
for a sick man who can't raise enough
money to pay his street-car fare down
town.-Delr0it Free Press.
Wonder of wonders, an interna-
tional exhibition IS contemplated in
Central Asia. twill be held at fash
kend. Great preparations are being
made, and the Government will offer
gold and silver medals and honorary
hnflans.
An English nobleman, who is in
the habit of speaking to soldiers in an
affable manner, was much amused late
ly when 4 guardsman said to him, in a
hearty and genial way: 81 like you, my
Lord. There's nothing of the gentle
man about you.''
-" What is your name?' asked q
Sunday-School teacher of a boy. "My
names julie was the reply; where
upon the teacher impressively said:
"You should have said Julius, sir.
And now, my lad" turning to another
boy, what is your name?" Bilious,
SIR
Neither druggists nor their clerks
have any right to make mistake and
issue laudanum for rhubarb, or any
other poison for harmless medicine.
And If they do, and fatal results follow,
they should be deemed guilty of man
slaughter, and punished accordingly
EIctan9e.
The season for getting drowned
while skating opened in Canada few
days ago. and every little Philadelphia
boy owning pair of skates should at
once send his name written in a clear,
bold hand to this Office. We MORALLY
hate to spell the name Of drowned
boy incorrectly Philadelphia Gbron-
icle.
The family physician was con-
circulating the lady of the house on
the good health of her six-year-old son,
who, she said, had not had an ache or
pain for . year. The youth spoke to
his father afterward, saying, INA is
mistaken about that; l had . hard pain
last summer, after she whipped me.
Rome Sentinel.
"A young Kentuckienne wrote to q
newspaper TO say that she had always
longed to look upon the ocean as it lay
asleep, basking in the calm sunshine on
q lovely summer day. and the Louis
vile Goatyier-.Jouy1sal advises her to a.
suage the longing BY putting in . whole
day over 9 wash-tub and flashing the
suds into . fury Of foam.
An Irishman, In describing Amer
lea, said; !" ! am told that you moiRht
roll England thru it m II wouldn't
make dint IN the ground; there's
ffesh-Water oceans Inside that ye might
dround Old Ireland IN; m 9 Tor Scot.