Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-09-28
WIT AND HUMOR.
Pity lives the next door below love.
Job was probably the first doctor, as

Pity lives the next door below love-
Job was probably the first doctor, as
he had patience .-s.....-.
When Cinnamon play billiards they
never use their own queue. f
"Gas brigands is what.the people Of
Paris call the companies that furnish
them with. light. ,sG. +, .., FL Is;
Adam never smoked. OF course not.
There was no one living in those DAYS
from whom he could beg cigars.
The best are the cheapest. This is
more especially SO in the matter Of wives.
\ Asaw for the, times: .'No man should
live beyond the means Of his creditors' y
e When man wants q puppy to follow,
I ne whistles. A girl has only to wink at
one. 1l'lzG- s1.l .2a
/. England may be "mistress Of the C's,"
out she has never yet been able to fairly
master the HIS. ~
"Change carsP is what the bootbIack
said to 9, countryman the other day. when
q ne had finished one Of his brogans. s s.
al Little Johnny is quite sure the picture
Of a Spitz dog he drew on the parlor wall
was good because it made his father
mad. ~ 49,
s, Little qerty (after waiting some time for
dessert -"Uucle, don't youhave anything
after dinner?" Uncle---'sYes, dear: the
dyspepsia s.r -
Grandpa--"By George, must stop
and blow q bit, Tommy" Tommy
GAIL right grandpapa, I've got a stone to
put under your heel ,gl 4a@ a@r.....
japanese fans will be decorated this
year with highly improbable focks of
red hens refusing to be 'shooed" by a
ridiculous blue woman.
j. Strange that nobody ever thought Of
the effect OF a BARRIERS breath on the DO
toto bug. 1t is a pretty hard remedy,
butsomething must be done. ,.-.., =.
AT what age were you married Z" asked
she inquisitively. But the other lady
was equal to the emergency, and quietly
responded, Eat the parsonage"
Rald-headed men are 50 numerous in
Chicago that an audience in that CITY IS
said to leok, when viewed from above.
like cobble-stoned pavement. II -
Y A young lady graduate may, in after
years, forget the title Of her essay, but she
will always remember how her white
"pekay" dress was made and trimmed.
One of the saddest and most vexatious
trials that come to girl when she mar
riestis that she has to discharge her
mother and depend upon hired girl.
Very kind craftsmanship you know,
my dear, that we have to-day the shortest
day in the year?" Lady-"Very true;
but Your presence makes me forget it,
It is claimed that the Persians invent
ed croquet nearly thousand years ago.
The decline of the Persian empire and
the efeminancy of its people is no longer
a mystery f.a. -. IL
=, Two men started out on wager to see
which could tell the biggest lie. No. 1
commenced: "a wealthy country edi-
tor" whereupon No. 2 stopped him
right there and paid the forfeit. III
Arkansas IS q queer place; If you go
there with ten dollar gold piece in your
pocket, they tar and feather you for a
bloated aristocrat. If you are poor, they
will let you die of fever and ass,ue.
The brewers congress estimates that
10000, 900 barrels of lager, or nearly two
kegs for every man, woman and child in
the country, will be consumed this year.
We had no idea that children were SO
fond of it. 2a
A boy in Auburn was leading a poor
old horse through the street, the other
day, when gentleman asked him why
he didn't get on horseback and ride.
Horseback" replies the boy, "it chafes
me to lead him. ..
A fool, says the. Arab proverb, may be
known by six things anger without
cause, speech without profit, change
without motive, inquiry without object,
putting trust in a stranger, and not know
ing his friends from his foes.
II know what made my papa and your
papa SICK" said one little girl to another.
"What2" "They danced too much at the
springs" "Hush! my papa belongs to
the tmeeting." $50 does mine when he's
home, but there amt no meetin' uD at
the springs" 49,.
A young man who went from Bugling-
ton to Leadville about six weeks ago,
writes cheerfully back to his friends:
81 have gained three pounds since came
here, and gained it all in half ounce in
stallments. Haven't been shot in the
head YETI s5 81 aea- tHi
Grandma went on board modern
ern steamer, and walking up to the
pier-glass she saw an old lady approach
ing. "Iwonder if you are as tired as
ana" she said compassionately," and the
kindly old face looked toward her in 81
lent sympathy. Ill, st
North Perry, Me-, has an infant giant
ess in perfect health, which, though but /
year old, is three feet high and weighs
as much as healthy 12-year,old boy.
At its birth it only weighed nine pounds.
Its neutrality-suspicious. was man of
extraordinary size, A..
When you SEGA woman going toward
the river with good sized pole in her
hand, and a wrinkle across her nose, YOU
needn't think she is going fishing. Not
much; she's got q boy down that way
who promised her, with tears in his eyes,
The following is told ola younggente-
man who was passing an examination in
physics. he was asked, "What planets
were known to the anclents?" He re-
sponded, "Well, sir, there we're Venus
and Jupiter, and"- after a pause 81
think the Earth, but I am not quite GER
tain" rs =
The woody skin Of the peach, the blush
ing colors Of the apple, The flavor of the
pear, the juice of the watermelon, all do
fade as leaf; but the peanut holds its
own forever, the transcendental combina-
ton of fruit, berry and vegetable, king