The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-11-29
NUMBER 7.
PASSING SMILES.

A ROUND trip-the waltz.
A NOVEL issue--the last romance.
THROUGH without chango-the tramp.
HALEFARE--that of la fashionable
boarding house. ss,g a. ~t y,
WHERE does the weather go,to when
IL clears Off ei9 tttNSA 81 ~
SOME men would rather take drink
than n hint. as Il sssssa. tg.s eks
A DRUNKEN tailor is not sew good -
he seams.
THE home stretch is taken in the even
ing on the sofa. sa m
kANaARoos are creatures that slide
off on their rears, as it were.
MARRIED life often begins with rose
wood and mahogany and ends with
pine. etaaa $685.
CAN pig-iron a shirt Cincinnati
Commercial. No, but there are lots Of
EN- wear 'em. Hf Naa s4.s r
A LITTLE girl the other day referred
to the mustache of young man as .
chang" on his lip.
A REPORTER on daily paper got some
good points recently by climbing over
a spiked fence. "a atasss ss.ee,r..,s
WHEN man SO far forgets himself
as to go fishing on Sunday, we lose all
respect for him--unless he divides.
GRACE GREENWOOD, they say, has
embraced spiritualism. Bet you dol
lar spirituaiism didn't reciprocate.-B Bur
dette. se8 df t8 aHH
IT is a malicious woman who will
slyly put long hairs on mans coat just
to make his wife jealous. Henry Ward
Becchv. 6 ESQ nflaH 81 81
THEY are proving so popular that
fellow in this city thinks of starting
alone association with young lady OF
his acquaintance. Sadie Stone i
| The last cabbage remaining unsold
| is like the most important man in .
hotel dining-room it is a head-waiter.
Send up the saure kraut, please. a9is
HERE is the choicest conundrum Of
| the season: What is the difference be-
tween pumpkin pie and a. muzzlef
One is good on dogs and the other 10
dog-onrgood. s3o 800 81 sw isaai
A WRITER says that thumor consists
of a series of surprises" Ii that is humor,
the fun that exists is a colony Of wasps
is immense enough to move stone inn
age to laughter aesa ) s3s,
WHEN a Chinaman makes love to
girl he doesn't rave about his heart pant
ing for her, etc Mo- he simply tells
her that he loves her better than he does
rats, and she believes him.
WHY will people persist in commend
ing honest industry when they see,
every day, that it brings thousands OF
masons, carpenters and plasters to the
scaflold?
The Boston Journal of Commerce, in an
article on the exports of Boston, makes
no reference, strange to say, to "Rever-
end w. II. III. Murray. II he is not an
ex-sport of Boston, what is he? ad
Standardization room in natural
history. Instructor--"Mr. X, have you
ever put your head down on any ones
breasts and listened to the heart beats az
Huxley describes them7' Mr.. x.
(blushing)-"Yes, SIR"
T CAN'T get coin for greenbacksp
yelled stump orator while denouncing
John Sherman. II know the reason"
said small boy. "Why," asked the
orator "Becase ye hewitt got the
| greenbecks," was the answer.
WHEN a dog snaps at fly that has
been fooling around him for four or five
hours, and misses it, he feels Just like 4
young man who pours the full tide Of
his affections over Q girl and suddenly
discovers that 1t won't soak in. !.
A GROCER called at farm house, and
the housewife came to the door combing
her hair. Have you got any honey in,
the combT he asked. "Honeyl no:
anything but honey" and she held the
comb out for his inspection. hra'srb
In has been said that when you see .
person wearing his best clothes every
day that he is going down hill. If this
be true, all we've got to say is that
we're travelling down an almighty long
hill.-Osaoego Times.
WHEN a newspaper paragraph opens
language as soft as the bosom of love,
and as sweet as the tinkle of woodland
brook, it is always safe to conclude that
the virtues of some patent medicine arc
harnessed on to the end.--NeiO York
CommercidL 81. .s.g
| "FELLER spoke disrespectful of my
sister; said he'd Bet she was cross-eyed,
and 4 sailed in 'ds your sister cross
| OytNfff ih4uiiCu ZIG lpPOA tCIs 4Ad4n y
got no sister," was the reply. ut was
the principle of the thing what got
licked for s9 81 s. sss
/ WHEN you have allowed q man to en-
| ploy your knife to pare an apple, you
should not confide to him the secret that
the particular blade he used is = rip
per to pare corns. Somehow it makes
him wisi nc had not eaten the apple
Atlantic Monthly visa JAat 5&N Af
THE author of "Grandfather's Clock
is at last meeting his punishment. One
of his daughters, not able to stand the
tick any longer, recently stopped short
before. a clergyman with runaway
young man, promised never to 60 single
any more, and the old man nearly died.
TALK about eloquent nncn- Why, the
fellow who puts advertisements on the
fences and rocks is the greatest word
painter in the country. But the eject
on the public is lost, and, in the Ian
gnage Of Hamlet, amounts only tn
"Words, words, words" ~ n = Y go