Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1879-05-08


sos
Mr.. Buff--Please call and settle the aboy
bill in cash or mineral and save cost
NERO +. GRIPPE.
Per JOEL JAcKAL, Clerk.
"Whew t. quoth Buff, cold Gripe
be -! Thirteen dollars for sun
dries, ha! that must mean armbaril
las, ha? Why never bought al
armbarilla in my life.
"No, no." says Jim laughing
"sundries in this bill means whisky
"Very good then," quoth Buff, "ii
is all perfectly right. l will never
refuse to pay for necessaries when
have mineral.
swell, Buff" says Jim, the "pota.
toes are done and we will breakfast
in spite of old GRIPPE. Stuff the dew.
when thou canst, as old King Nehe-
miah says in his book of proverbs.
Let those borrow trouble who have
money to lend Now, Buff, unfold
to me the plan you say you have
laid"
"Why, then you must know" says
Buff, "that | am getting tired oil
digging for uncertainties; Just as
though there were not Uncertainties
enough atween heaven and airth,
without probing the airth for more OF
EN-. The fact is thar is q great deal
more dirt in the ground than miu-
eral."
"Astonishing!" exclaimed Jim,
"what discovery !"
"Besides." said Buff, 81 want the
privilege of breathing while live.
Now | hold and am always Ready
to maintain that it is just as natural
for man to breathe as to drink
whiskey. Therefore a man in the
damps is as unhappy as a fish out of
warter."
"What is that you are saying,
partner" quoth Jim, "not dig? And
as pretty crevice as we are in
mineral going down-pret:y joint
clay-and mineral ashes running
down in an east and west crevice be-
tween regular wall rocks? Not dig !?
Why, the man is crazy! Let me tell
you we have a pretty show. Not
dig!"
"LaEd me in heaven replies Buff,
eff | dig to-day. True, Jim we have
fine show. Two years ago or
prospect might have sold for a thous-
and dollars. With good management
it may be sold now. We need the
ready. am an old miner, jim;
came to the diggings before the
Sauk furse-saw the first steamboat
that disturbed the waters of Fevre
river, the Old Virginia. l have
struck power of mineral in my
day-good shows and not so good
fine prospects and not so fine. Jim
there are tricks in all trades. We
have sure thing when we get it;
but | know by the float we are on
that the main body of mineral lies
east of us in the bowels of the hill.
We might sell our prospect to fool
and strike it big afterwards. The
ground we are on won't bear miner
Alt won't run-but on yon swell to
the east it is stronger"
"Why not dig there then at once
inquired Jim.
"Bekase," quoth Buff, sit might
peter out and if so be we should
strike nothing, how could we sell
out?"
Exactly" says Jim, 81 begin to
comprehend yonr meaning. You go
on the principle that bird in hand
is worth two in the bush. You
would sell our prospect for a certain
sum and run the risk OF making a
lead of it when the buyer has aban-
doned it"
"With your consent then, we will
dress up our prospect for sale,' quoth
Buff.
"Dress it !" replies Jim "What do
you mean by dressing it? We have
nothing even to dress ourselves, but
rags"
cha ha haw! haw Well, well"
quoth Buff, shave you never hearn
tell of grating mineral hole ? Graft
the hole; graft the hole, boy. Why
you must be soft. We have mineral
enough to dress up a prospect hole
beautifully. This is what | call dress
ing up prospect for SALE"
"That would be wrong" replies
Jim.
"No," rejoined Buff, taking chew
of cavendish, "no, l will prove that
it is perfectly right according to the
established usages of the world.
Does not all mankind pu' the best
foot foremost? Does not the mer.
chant put up show boxes to attract
customers? Do not good men put on
airs to make themselves pass in bet.
ter company What is a fashiona.
BILE lady but show dressed up to
cheat some poor devil in a matrimo-
NAL bargain ? In short, this world
is all a fleeing show"
"But who would buy ?" says Jim
"Oh leave that to me-" quoth Buff
with an air of authority, edo you
suppose the fools are all dead ?"
A GREAT MAN IN GALENA
Wealth is power; and Americans
with all their democracy bow the
knee to Mammon. No sooner is il
reported that the wealthy Mr.. Leech
and his beautiful lady, have arrived
in Galena, and taken lodgings at the
North Western Hotel, than the whole
town is filled with gossip and anxiety