The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-03-20
EVERYDAY sPIcERIEs.

EVERYDAY SPICERIES.
To promote happiness in the domestic
circle, stay at home and get acquainted
with your family.
AN accountant who visited Bunker
Hill Monument last summer, says it
is the longest column he ever footed up.
A MAN won't smoke clay pipe in the
street because II is not respectable, but
be will wear q red necktie with brass
pin.-Meridan Reco, der.
For "it's a poor mule that won't
work both ways" in yesterdays issue,
please read "it's poor rule" !" etc.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
"ExCUsE haste and a bad pen" as the
dirty porker said when it rushed out of
its sty and knocked over the man with
lavender pants.- Rome Sentinel.
OK one of the New Jersey railroads
there is country boarding house called
A Retreat" Here is chance for some
boarder to beat q retreat. Herald.
HANG on to your prejudices, for the
sake of consistency. They are the
barnacles of every mans reputation
Nep York Nears.
To know man, observe how he wins
his object rather than how he loses it;
for when we fail, our pride supports us
when we succeed it betrays us.
EVERY degree of guilt incurred by
yielding to temptation tends to debase
the mind and weaken the generous and
benevolent principles of human nature.
A FELLOW who called New Jersey
" no great shakes of q State" changed
his mind when he went there and got the
ague.- Wheeling Leader.
The difference between those whom
the world esteems as good, and those it,
condemns as bad, is in many cases little
else than the former have been sheltered
from temptation.
AFTER Noah had finished numbering
! the animals that went into the ark, why
did he say that what he had done didn't
amount to anythingf Because twas
Noah count.-.Sclem Sunbeam.
"SEE how I ride Ger the raging
main" exclaimed 81 man who was
thrown over his horses head into
ditch on the other side of the fence
Ha,okeye.
The man who carries a cane while
riding in a street car has a better OPP
portunity of displaying his sleeve but
tons than the man who carries his hands
in his pockets.-Claude de Huven.
Mr.. AND MRS. VESSELS. of Washing
ton, have applied for divorce. All at
sea in domestic matters, we suppose
Army and Nasy Journal. Undoubtedly
they had too many spars.-Navy Gazette.
ONE can lay his hands on so many
survivors of the Battle of Waterloo that
it takes heap Of thinking to discover
that anybody was killed in that fight
Detroit Free Press.
/ The Prince of Wales has been elected
an honorary member of Boston militia
company. Unless the Government
wishes the Indians scared to death, this
news should be broken to them very
gently.--P Philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
"IF there is anything ] hate, said he,
hurting the object in his hand to the
ground, "it is an empty whisky bottleF'
"Then, my fricnd,n calmly remarked q
stranger at hand, why do you make
so many of them Pr Chicago Journal.
IT is Weiss beer that knows its own
Observation-Disclosures Yes, and it's
good vinegar that knows its mother" /"
IN. Y. Sun. It's good pantry that
doesn't know its ant Cincinnati Com
nstreidl.
A tlmid little flower; aye, wondrous meeki
It's tender petals, scarcely visible,
Lending their bushes 10 a maiden's cheek,
and shy Of aught that temp,s the risible--
No grace OF nature does 50 modest speak:
In fact, it is confessed, none other Is able.
--Esratse Enrique.
A WARD constable is a very ordinary
! mortal in the eyes of the average citizen
until he comes to the citizens house,
armed with an execution, and proceeds
to make a valuation of the furniture
and then he assumes the proportions oi
] an nAiax.-Newark Sunday Call.
A VERY old lady, on her death bed
, in penitendal mood, said: ~ havs
been great sinner more than eighty
years, and didn't know it.n An ole
/ darkey woman, who had lived with he
: long time, exclaimed: "Lors!
: knowed it ali the time"
THE New York Times Gays an engage
. ment between a couple of Manhalltowl
young people has been broken off be
cause the Young lady giggled when he
q lover slipped upon the sidewalk ant
) nearly broke his spine, while trying t
: be very polite to another young lady.
!, WHEN an old backwoodsman wa
about to take his first ride ON Missis
a sippi steamer he was asked whether b
I would take deck or cabin passage
!. Well," said he in a resigned sort 0
J. way, "rye lived all my life in cabin
4 and Igue@ cabin passage will be goo
I enough for rough chap like me-"
? THERE is pocket telephone stretche
Q across from the house of a young man Il
d this town to the window of his sweet
/? heart just opposite. They are to b
married soon, and it is touching sigh
to watch the little sparrows perch on th
string and peck at the taffy as it slide
along between their toes Waterloo Oh
= server.
o The Chicago Inter Ocean says: Dos
/ chased deer into the town of Beeb
q Ark, and in the excitement of th
l. moment three ministers who. were pas
l. ing along the street pulled out sever
8, shooters and began firing at it. Aftt
y the deer was down fourth man cut 1
rs throat with a Bowie-knife, which |
rs pulled from his boot; but he was only
:, deacon.
n, TEE philosopher has not yet bss
J., able to answer the grave question, 9
i l;fo rvortb living fnr9n Allupdaffako