The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1879-07-26
NHJFS: WISE HYD WIYTY.

President Hayes can't veto the nusquitC
bill
The CRATE art ov kontentment konsiSts
i'll being pertekly satisfied with what yel
haint got
False hair is made to match the natural
article SO closely that it is difficult to tell
which is switch.
The editor of patent outside paper is
constantly troubled for fear that something
will come OH his outside to disagree with
his inside.
Whether or not sin dated from apple
eating, it is generally conceded that new
habits We're acquired by our first parents
| soon after that event
If Noah had foreseen the future, and
killed the two mosquitoes which took refuge
i'll the ark, he would have rendered some of
the strongest words in the English language
unnecessary.
=" Whin do yes intind to go back, Nike"
asked one exile Of another. "If live till
| doye, and God knows whittier will or
not, | intind to visit ould ireland once more
before lave this country
-" Mamma, is the ridcule very bad to
have?" i" What do you mean, George 81"
Why, mamma, Rosy Green says Dara
Dow was exposed to it three weeks ago and
its high time it broke out"
She was an Albany lady who informed
visitor who came to see her new house
that she was having hicks made in the
walls in which to place statutes, and i'll one
of them :; bust of her husband
-" What brought YOU to prison, my col
ored friend ," said Il Yankee to negro
1.-TWO constableS, sah." "YeS, but mean
had intemperance anything to do with it ~
Yes, sab, dey was bof of 'em drunk
A woman raised TO the third power of
widowhood has the photographs of her three
departed lords i'll group with a visnette
of herself in the centre, and underneath is
the inscription, 1.-The Lord will provide
That was not inapt advice given by a
deacon at Oil City to Il young minister who
asked if he thought one should preach more
than half an hour: Well, that depends on
whether, after half an hours boring, he
strikes ile.''
"A story is told of Chivac, the Duke of
Orleans ply ,ican. He never noticed that
he was i'll, being so anxious about the health
of others: but one day he felt his own pulse
and said, " He is a dead man; l have been
called in too LATE
=" How was the world made ~ is being
discussed in Il scientific magazine. We We're
not there, hnt suppose they got all the sub
Scriptions they could raise along the sur
vey, and then bonded the rest of the work
and pushed it through.
AT a watering place ball: Stranger to
lady" Madame, will yon dance the cotil-
lion with me??'' Lady to Stranger-''I am
sorry, sir, hut am engaged" Stranger Tin
disgust)-" Confound it: it's as bad here as
in good society," Lady How do you
know >"
Helen the housemaid had broken down
under the extra work involved in moving
to il new residence, and Thomas the coach
man was asked how he stood it. First
rate, sir first rate, was the prompt reply.
:" Sure I'm an Irishman, and the devi. him
self couldn't kill me-
A lightning rod petldler was struck by
lightning in Indiana while seated on his
wagon, during Il thunder storm, talking
through the window of Il farmer : residence
trying to induce the farmer to let him rod
81 Il 81
seen in Indiana. People went miles to see
the deceased. They couldn't believe it until
they SAW it with their own eyes.