Daily Republican., 1879-05-01
HU MOKOC 3.

the city. lie was Durly putcher poy-
she was the pie-ous daughter of the
German baker next door, with eyes
like currants, and her yellow hair
twisted on the back of her head like a
huge cruller. They leaned towards
each other over the backbone of the
separating railing. He was casting
sleeps eyes at her, while hers turned
to him with provocatng roll.
"Meat me to night before quarter to
ten he said:
"Oh, dough-nut ask it," said she.
II make no bones about it, said he.
"You're not well brcd," said she.
"Only sweet bread" said he.
"Dop't egg me on" said She.
81 never sausage girl. Don't keep
me on tender hooks!" said he, quite
chop fallen.
why don't you wear the dear -four
| gave your" asked she.
"Pork- -quioH" asked he.
"Oh, knead sayY" asked she.
"That don'tsuit me-" said he.
"Youre crusty. | only wanted to
cracker Joke, sdlu SHe'
"You gave nae a cut-the cold shcuid-
err" said he. ,
"Ah, you don't loaf me" sighed
she.
"Veal see. cleve to you, and no
missteak--if you have money" said
he.
81 can make bun dance" said she.
"Then no more Authorizations said
he. You shall be my rib"
"Well, doue!' said size.
And their arms embraced like pret-
eel. So his cake was not all dough-
she likes man of his kidney; and be-;
ing good llvers, they will 40 doubt
live on the fat of the land, raisin' lots
of children. This world is a queer
|jumtle, but love seems 'bread in the
bone"
! A NOTION wITHDRAwN.--A few years
ago the following incident took place in
Washington County, Texas. The jury
of g. Circuit Court, before W HON a mis-
erable wretch haG been tried, returned
a verdict of "guilty,' and contemptu-
ously suggested the ''wllipping post. y
The Court then adjourned for dinner.
Immediately after dinner the defend
ent's counsel, without consulting hf
unfortunate client, moved for nev
trial, and commenced reading the mo
tion.
"IIold on, for God s sake, whispered
the client, pulling at the counsel's c'at
tail, "Don't read thatl"
"Let me alone" ,muttered the law =
yer, irritably :"Pll attend to you wh-u
I've read the notion"
/" But | don't want you to read the
notion" whined the agitated cnlpn't.
"Don't want me to read it! Why
not What in thucder's the mattsr !!
Pm going to get new trial ~
:" But don't want a new trial, ex-
claimed the wretch.
"Don't want one! Why not - re-
turned the other heatedly, frow'line
from under his eye glasses.
"'Cause it's too late,' urged the eli
ent. "While you were all out to din
ner the darned sheriff took me out, anc
he's whipped the very hide off of me.
The motion was summarily with
drawn.
A SELL, NOT A sALE.-Amiable shop
, keepers deserve to be canuOnized. llert
is an illustration Of the trials to whicl
they are subjected. One midsummel
day, when Eolus slept, and the thcr
: mometer stood in the ninrties, a lady
entered store not thousand milrs
off, and inquired for parasols. The
obllging proprietor spread out be.or,
her samples of large and variee
b stock.
"Have you any Of this shade siz'
larger?" said the lady.
This size was produced.
9 al think on the whcle | prefer the sizt
smaller.
9 The size smaller was presented:
'. "Have you any ofthis size a lighte
shade of blue7.
= The required shade was brought out
I "Haven't you any of this kind with
crooked handle ~
3 The shade with the crooked handl.
appeared.
"Have you any with the crooked
handle not quite so heavy" said th
lady, and so continued her inquiries
for every conceivable size, shade ant
II weight possible in the line of parasols
After nearly an hour had been con
sumed, the fair shopper gathered VI
her handkerchief and gloves, and naov
= ed for the door.
Cant sell you parasol ?" inquir
- ed tho exhausted proprietor.
E ooh, dear, MOI replied the lady,
81 was merely inquiring the prices.
J., au going into mourning myself, aa'
q. have one for sale.
vi A SAN Francisco TEACHER,-A candi
q u date for teachers position in Sa
d Francisco sent in the otter day a re
B. nlarkable examination paper. She wa
!, y asked to spell the following words an
II give their definition Vacilation, hiero
y glyphics, antediluvian, aphorism, bi
vouac, codicil, hallucination, inveigle
: periphery. She spelled and define
,e them as follows: "Vassilation-tll
ID act of being vassil hyeroghphic
le correct defnitionl; antediluvian-th
~ ~ art of loosening down before, as it were
ID aphorism-a rising beforehand; bivoua
y: r, was unable tc define !; codissel-relat
- ing to code, law or rule; hallusens
!. tien-a strange loosening or separation
y, ~ as it were; inveigle-somew at strange