The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1879-12-05
TAKE A SMILE.

It's wise mineral spring that knows
its spa.
Sound logic-arguing through tele-
phone.
Light literature: handbook with
no balance.
A girl who sells almonds should be
called Nut Meg.
Emulate the mule; il is backward in
deeds of violence.
There is apt to be trouble Bruin
when man is admitted to the Bar.
"Hoops are coming round again." 1t
would be inconveDient il they came
square.
Virginia used to be "the mother Of
pudi. 'ns.
A reporter on daily paper got some
good points recently by climbing over a
spike fence.
An Ute-opian idea: He that by the
plow would trive himself must hold a
gun and drive.
Cnser was a fool. lie thrice refused a
crown, ,Ilosing exactly fifteen shillings by
the operation.
The only housework some girls do is
when they begin to dust around
after beau.
A new song is entitled "My Love
She is q Kitten" Kittens scratch like
the mischief, and SO perhaps does his
love.
1t isn't pleasant for men in delicate
kid gloves to grasp door-knob after
it has been turned by a man in search
of towel.
1t IL the little bits ov things that fret
and worry u.s." says Josh Billings !;
"we kan dodge an elephant, but we
kant fly."
Happy Greenland has no cats, and
the nights there are six months long.
For long quiet nap it is the place of
all the world.
1t may be perfectly correct to call the
locomotive the iron horse, but is it not
as correct to call the milkman's pump a
wooden COW?
T The Smith family recently held a re-
union in New Jersey. Their principal
sentiment was: "Pocahontas, The pre-
server of our race"
Worth uses oak and walnut buttons
on cloth wraps. just the same sort OF
buttons that have been used on wood.
house doors for years.
Girls are wearing boys hats, boys
ties and boys cravats.-[ Yonkers Gaz-
cite. And boas about their necks, the
darlings Lockport Journal.
Yonng man, a diamond pin looks real
nice aud glistens brightly, but when
four dollars week supports q man and
pin both, one or the other is not gen.
uine.
The man who snores and knows
clothespin on his nose when going to
bed, has the blood of all ermy contrac-
tor in his veins.
'I wish you would ply little atten-
ton to what am saying, sir" roared
a lawyer to an exasperaling witness. 81
am paying at little attention us l cam
was the Cclm reply.
"Money does everything for a man,
said an old gentleman, pompously
eyes," replied the other one; "bu
money won't do as much for man al
some men will do for money"
The Prince of Wales sons are receiv
ing thirty-seven and q half cents pei
day for their services in the British
navy, and it is believed that the navy
pays for all it gets even at that rate.
A subscriber to q southwestern news
paper died recently, leaving four
D years subscription unpaid. The edito
appeared at the grave and der oseted il
the coffin palm-leaf fan, a linen coat
u and thermometer.
c can Indiana gent has been scalpe'
o by plaster falling from ceiling" sal,
v the dispatch; and the papers made
!, San Indian agent was scalped by Plas
+ ter-falling- g-from-a-ceiling," thinking
! was queer name for an Indian.
It Two ladies presented themselves q
n the door of fancy ball; and, on bein
e asked by the usher what character
;. they personated, they that they wer
It not in 81 cial costume. Whereupon h
bawled out; 1.-TWO ladies without an
characterW
n ~ German newspaper contains a
l. obituary in which occurs the following
,s "Our dear son Gustav lost his life b
4 falling from the spire of the Luthera
church. Only those who know tn
r. hight of the steeple can measure th
ia depth of our grief"
On certain American railroad
u young man put his head out of the cal
+, window to kiss his girl goodbye, whe
70 the train went ahead so rapidly th;
III he kissed an aged African female 1
the next station. This is supposed to l
the fastest time ever made on raj
way train.
~ Let the next spelling-refo conyei
ton be held in Maine, and adopt mea
Id ures TO reform the spelling of the LAKE
of that state. Some of the lakes thel
1T only quarter of mile in length has
named half mile long. The rcformel
might wrestle with Lake Magoguehul
Observation-Disclosures 10 b.
l gin with.
fact or fI,a SfTuauu Han