The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-10-16
NfIC-1-B BRIO.

Industry, barins and cheek k-thcsc
three, but tho greatest is check .-1ui-
mage.
No gcntlcmanly students lamp
Will smoke in the presence of ladies. r
- The circus that gives tho most
dead-llcad tickets is the gratis show on
eavth. sT ~ :
-"And, oh, Edward" said tho Girl
be was going 10 leave behind him, "at
.vcry stopping place, be sure to write,
"nd go ahead"
1t gives us great pleasure to an
nouncc that, thus far, next seasons
peach crop is sa1c.-Jitdtiiei0wn
Transcript.
An economical young lady in the
West End thinks she will try and
make her last winters bonnet do until
christmas by getting a new beau
On. Si0r.
-Li'tlc girl to Juvenile ncighbor:
"My father has family prayers every
morning. Does your's?" "No, indeed,
Indignantly; my father is Rcpubli-
can.-OshhoSh Chritian Advocafe.
"A young lady's hat blew of Sat
nrday morning and was run over by u
broad-whcclcd cart. The ribbons
were somewhat soilcd, but tho hat is
now the very latest fall shape.
-"All the mills arc now runnino,
full time" says New England paper.
Particularly the outrage mill, which
manufactures sauguinary shirtinus.
and Tammany boiling mill, now run
by the same owners.
"A Texas physician has announced
that he has discovered that hypcrtlcr-
mic Injection of carbolic acid is q bet
ter antidotc than whiskcy for rattle
snakc bites, and he is trying to work
his way out of the Slate in disguise.
The Auburn AdcnIiScr remarks
that "fbe wclkin rings" OF course it
rings. Did the InirclIisc,. ever know
OF a welkin that didn't ring! p. S.
Ey the way. what is Il wclkin?--1ib0-
Hy JouiU0i.
"A wicked Western woman writcs
TO Cincinnati that the girls at the Eas-
.e'p watering places spend thcr limo
J." reading novels and wo; king in wool
1or fhcit beloved pastor The motto, 81
Need Thee Every Hour"
We don't exactly know the mcon-
lhS or ''cicwcl work" which The girls
arc Just now raving over, but suppose
1t lcteps TO the working Of yellow
Worslcd dogs, with green cars and
pink eyes, on a sky-bluc background.
"A gentleman by the name ofGunn
was recently fired out Of watermelon
patch in Grafton, Ky. AS be was
bornc home on Il SHUTTER he 'ecblv re-
mixed that hc would have been ready
70 go off alter he got loaded if thcv
had let him alone.
Now York Commercial ddrcy-
Escr: There is to be lawsuit over
"Babv Minc," in which The author
sues DitSon Il Co. for $4,000. There
was simil"r suit, it will be rcmcm-
Dcrcd, in 'hc time Of Solomon, in
Whtcll-our readers ore Of course ac-
quatn;cd with the Old Testament.
Lei The next spclling-retorm com
vcnIio ion be held in Maine, and aGon.
measures 70 reform the spelling OF
lakes Of that State. Some ofihe lakes
there only II quarter Of 4 mile in length
have, names half Il mile long. The re-
formers might Wrcstlc with Lake Ma
goguckunkittchogncmusnuita,nac,iuo-
grc 10 begin with.-No,3istovm Her-
aid.
"A Yorkshire trainer lately revealed
MS method Of meeting Il coniural
storm. His plan, lie said, was 60 keen
silence and nod his acquicsccrcc 10
everything no matter what was said
by his spouse. "Yes," remarked ono
OF his friends, "but then she has It all
her own way" "Just so,' replied thc
Tykc, with satisfaction: sand nothing
annoys her so much. There is nothing
women hate like a walk-ovcr."
"A kcokuk boy has built small
engine or motor which runs by the
power Of Limbcrgcr cheese. The
stronger the cheese the stronger the
engine runs. He thinks he has struck
Il big bonanza, and by adding few
onions and small quantity Of board
lnS-houSe butter, enough strength will
be obtained to bold Il mule bv the
hind-lcgs while the smallest kind ola
boy twists the mules tail.
"A certain old gentleman, very rich
and still more stiney, is in Tic habit of
wearing his clothes to the last thread
One of his friends, meeting him, ey-
claimed: "They told me that Won lad
new hat, and I'll be hanged if Won
~ " c'', Go, stl'l Inc mlScr,
looking as if he were q trifIc ashamed
OF himself; "you see, my wife kept
telling mo that the old one was n good
deal worn ont. Well, yesterday was
my wilc's birthday, and 7 got myself u
new hat for her birthday present"
--"Can it be possible my Alecrnon
no longer loves his little brown ewes?
Can it be that her carcsscs have be-
com irks0me to him at last?" said u
bcart-brokcn Young pullbnck TO her
"slchdy company" the other evening,
as the latter seemed inclined to re-
move her clinging from his breast.
"Hour Algernon is all right" said the
youth, with an uneasy squirm. 'but if
You don't let upa minute, Matilda,
the spiral Of my stud will come out
through my backbone sure"
-Kcntucky isn't dead yet. No sir
&C. a couple Of African persuasion
were getting married at Elkton the
other day. just as they entered the
church two colorcd women who
"wantcd dat man 'cmsclves," actuatcd
by tho notorious demon with ycrdant
optics, attacked the bride and tried to