davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-12-17
WAIFS AND WHIMS.
s soANpAr lnonver Is a maroon to 81


! a SCANDAL monger is person to add
mire. hsa.a7i-5I ,z5i.-.n s.ss-.-f
DOES astanding joke ever require
seat. 7-i." L.'1ag
! ARE men who fit counters in boot
cOunterfeiters? ,rsH D. nd arffr .
The sawmiH runs to the tune of 1
Elog-a-rythm. l7ri- as .as @'7.- .eg3 4
J. SOUND logio-arguing through the
/ telephone. -. - /
A PROFESSIONAL beauty, though two
words, Is really only one silly belle.
"A THUMB on the hand is worth two in
a dogs mouth. a1.1iEsi aF iE. --Gl
IT is faIlacy to suppose that a baby
! is being shampoOed when he is christened
by the minister. 1t is intake 1r1. p
"GENIUs finds its own road and carries
Its own lamp" says the Evansville
| journal Been watching us, have you?
| -KeRtucky NeU Era. -....
IT was mean trick for the Buckeye
State to hold an election while the Dem
ocrats were away attending prayer meet
ing. f1fH e. garals
I'HE man that bought a '' salted :"
gold mine in the Black Hills was hole
sold fellow. .aa tr-..H.a arHt st
DEPEND upon it, ".there's a time for
all things" The time to leave is when
she asks you how the walking is.
AN individual who called his first
daughter Kate, when his wife had an
other girl, christened her Duplicate.
MANY man who prays not to be led
into temptation would be awfully disap-
pointed if his prayer was granted.
"BoB INJUREsoUL" is one of the
frightful results of the Chicago Tribune's
new method of spelling ..... ..
A NEWSPAPER reporter says that one
of the ladies at the late ball, "tOok
everybody's eye." What an eye-dear!
Young Lady-"Have you any dressed
kid gloYesY Clerk" No, miss, we've
nae kid gloves" nT g -'ga1s
THE man who starts for the river to
drown himself viii run for a place Of
safety if he sees a cross bull coming.
THE father with nine manageable
daughters must have been engaged in
the belle foundry business. : Cincinnati
C0n1merciqL ~ -..-zr.s 5..... .....
"THE evil of mems wives lives after
them, while the good which they do is
seldom spoken of with safety to a step
mother" .. --.ft . a-.r
A NEWSPAPER reporter who died re-
Gently, left large sum of money behind
him. In fact he left all the money in
the world.
THE best lip sa1ve is a kiss. This rem
edy should be used with the greatest
caution, as it is very apt to bring on an !
affection of the heart. 3.I -fa# + Fe..-
THoz hoo advocating gafonetiksistem |
Jv spelling seem to want to institute ego |
" u pleez" orthografy.--Detr0it Free
Press.
THERE is a difference between light
hing rods and enlightening rods. One
,akes the mischief out of the clouds, and
.he other out ofthe bad boys. ads
"Two souls with but single thought !
Two hearts which beat as one" .-...r Dad. |
Old folks abed-the lamp turned out /, |
Oh eTackeY! wasn't it fun.
.i.. 81. -. RhheHaH T3mes
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-12-17
His New FIying.Sgachine.

An. enterprising saloon-keeper on
Grand River avenue is always on the
lookout for any novelty that may draw
customers; and perhaps this fact may
have been known to. bland-faced old
man who entered the place the other day
and confdentially began: tH.r"- ..I
IF l could draw a crowd of one hun
dred men to your place here what
sum would you be willing to. give 'me?''
" What do yon mean?' asked the
saIoonist. .'
If it was known that I had in my
possession a fying-machine, and that i
was to fly from your door here on a GER
tain day and hour, wouldn't the novelty
be sure to collect thirsty crOWdY'
C Yes, I think so. If you have fv-
ing machine and want to show it of
here tomorrow night I'll give you dol
lar, and If the machine is a success. per.
haps I'll buy it." ......
" Well, sir continued the old man in
whisper, I've got the boss! She flies
from the word go! All I've got to do is
to toss her into the air. and away she
sails. right down fine and no chance
for failure, and I'll be on hand at 7 O 'clock
tomorrow night" ra~ rf- Iu
The matter became noised about, and
next evening there We're fifty or sixty
people in or around the saloon towit-
ness the experiment The old man ar
rived on time, having some. sort of a
bundle under his arm, and he collected
his dollar of the saloonist and received
several treats" from the crowd,
When everything was finally ready he
stood on the walk clear of the spectators
and said: .-r nj r.rf t...... : p. .,..
Gentlemen, / warrant this thing to
fly. didn't invent it myself; but am
now acting as State agent to dispose of
county rights. Hundreds of men have
spent years of anxious thought and thou
sands of dollars in seeking to invent fly
ing machines, but this one leads them
all. She will now fly. Please stand
back and give her a chance to rise"
The crowd fell back and the man let
fall the cover hiding his bundle, and
gave an old speckled hen toss into the
air. She uttered q dismal squeak, sailed
this way and that, and finally bumped
against a telegraph post and settled
down on the roof Of a low shed, cackling
IN an indignant manner at being turned
loose ID strange neighborhood. 1t was
4 fuLl minute before the. crowd was sure
that 1t was hen, and during shat min
ate the old man isisupposed to have run
/ distance of seven blocks. i1 A few tried
.o"overhaul him, but it was no use.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-12-17
The Blue Haze Of Indian Summer,

Mr.. Joel Benton has recently published
an elaborate essay, combating the popular
notion, which also has quasi-scienti6c
support, that the blue haze of Indian
summer is the product of ordinary smoke
from fires. He argues first that the
well-known behavior of smoke is not con-
sistent with the various phenomena of
the blue haze. After describing this, he
says, g If it smoke ever seems to wilt
or attenuate in some secluded valley, it
Is never still; it does not even approx
mate quietude sufficiently to cheat the
eye; it is not part of the air, but rather
passenger upon it, and subject to every
breeze that blows or summer zephyr that
dallies by. have watched the attitude
of a good many heavy volumes of smoke,
and l have never yet seen one that
stimulates in any of its wrigglings and
active transformations, or in its complete
repose, that unique enchantment which
is wrought by the Indian-summer haze"
If this haze is the product of smoke
from fire, there should be-" he says,
an alarming number of them in the
fall of the year" But neither the an
nual fire statistics nor the newspaper
reports show this. MIR. Benton says the
heaviest autumn fires occur at the end
of the hazy season, which would make
the haze preeede the fires, and cease
after the usual mountain fires have be-
gun, which consecutive facts he has
noticed. Besides, all the woods of the
Hudson River counties, if they should
be on fire at once, would-if smoke could
cause the haze-make no appreciable
part of it; and the simultaneous appear
ance of it over a whole continent makes
it impossible to be caused by smoke
from any fires that were ever known.
1t reaches from the Arctic Circle to the
Torrid Zone. Its occurrence in the
northernmost region, if it is caused by
smoke, could not happen there except
through a confagration of icebergs.
A VESSEL lately arrived at Alexandria,
Va, from sea, having on board pigeon
which aIighted on the deck when the
craft was hundreds of miles from land.
The pigeon had become so tame is would
not leave the vessel
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-12-17

Lucy Hamilton Hooper, in the Phil
adelphia Teisgruph, after commenting
uFon the recent banquet given by the
friends of the Frapeo-A merican Treaty
OF Commerce at the, Hotel Continental,
proceeds ia the following manner: Z Is
1t generally known by our public at
large, for instance, that our cotton goods
are positively prohibited in Prance2
Not yard of our muslins, prints, sheet
ings, are TO be bought in Paris, while the
English cOttons are admitted free of
duty, thus showing a specially hostile
legislation directed against us. What
would the French free-trader say, I
should ike to know, if we prohibited
their silks. and let in those of -Switzer-
land free of duty, or prohibited their
wines in favor Of Italy? Silverware and
plated goods are likewise prohibited. 1t
IS IS much as anfAmeriean family re-.
sldiDg here anldo to gain admission for
their pFivater stock Of spoons and forks
Our cuderyytOO, is cOntraband, and as
to our drugs, chemicals, ETC., the list is
too long stoquote here in its entirety.
And itTmust be remembered that these
severe restrictions are not general, but
are enforced againstcertain nations only,
among which Is the United States, and
that at the very head of the list. 1t is
TO be hoped that our legislators will not
permit tie wool to be pulled over their
eyes by thedextrous fingers of any band
of eleverl Frenchmen. q j. would bid
them, however, to look sharply to what
they do, for of all smart people on the
face Of the earth Ito use a genuine Yam
kee epithet) these French are the smart
est. They could giYeithe typical Yankee
six Pointsaat his own. game of specula-
ton, and then could beat him easily.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-12-17
4 Riot Among nj, Lepers.


The great Leper Asylum at Mahaica.
in British Guiana. has recentiv been ths
scene of a riotous outbreak, which
threatened at one time to be attended
w WITH much bloodshed and some loss. of
NE fortunately, however, the riot
was queIled, and its only result will
! be to hasten the adoption of additional
precautionary measures which the gov
ernment of the colony has long eontem-
/ plated IN Its dealings with this trouble
some portion of the comz2unitv. The
Mahaica Asylum is a large hospital
maintained by the Government for the
reception of persons, chiefly coolies. af-
hlcted with leprosy, and at the time of
the outbreak contained about two hum
dred patients. The Government is IN
fortunately, pOwerless to enforce the ad-
mission of leprous subjects, or prevent
the removal Of those who, partly cured
often leave and convey the Infection
with them; but every effort is made to
prevent intercourse both with the outer
world and within the asylum between
the sexes. In a similar but smaller es-
tablishment in Know Island, in Esse-
quibo, the afflicted people are not en-
tirely isolated from the rest of the
world, but the sexes are kept strictly
apart; and it is intended to ADOPT this
plan in its entirety in the case of the
larger asylum. At present, notwith-
standing the watchfulness of the officers.
It ls impossible to prevent an occasional
breach of the regulations by which the
men and women are kept apart, and the
authorities have now and then to chr0ni-
Gle an addition to- the list of inmates
within the asylum, The necessary strin-
gency of the rules of the establishment,
for the sake of the unfortunate patients
as well as for the sake of the colony at
large, has lea to frequent difficulties
with some of the inmates and the i'll
feeling lately eliminated in an outbreak
which taxed all the efforts of a special
body of police to suppress, The doctor
in charge of the asylum, DR.. Hills, was
while on one of his usual
rounds and fQrcibly imprisoned in oneOf !
Jhe rooms, and a iepet armed with
razor kept guard over the door, while the |
ON the officers and servants |
and threatened to murder them For
at alarm was. raised and a /
arge body Of police dispatched to the |
assistance of the besieged officers, who
lad to take refuge in the various rooms
md lock themselves in. A hand to hand
ight ensued, during which the female
)atiei1ts showed even gteatar ferocity
nd determination than did the men.
They were, however, fortunately unable
o find any dangerous weapons, and were
YpltuallY OYerpOWered ~ .r..r....
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-12-17
A New Alpine Danger.

[ChaTles Burt in London Timesl
On the13th of September three ladies
and two young gentlemen obtained at
the Hotel Pilatus, at AIpnacht, a horse
and guide, and reached the summit Of
the mountain after six hours hard walk
ing. They rested and refreshed them.
selves at the hotel on the mountain, and
started on the downward Journey. Be.
fore leaving the top the guide asked one
of the gentleman for some cognac, which
was refused. 1t soon appeared that the
guide was intoxicated and worse than
useless. He led the horse on which one
of the young ladies was riding, and so
alarmed her by dragging the animal to
the edge of the path that she got off and
continued to descend on foot. -..s..i
Once the man would, in the sight of
the party, have sent one horse down a
precipice, but the poor beast realized the
danger, and set his feet steadfastly
against going further in that direction.
1t was now getting dark, and to be left
to the mercy of a drunken guide half
way down steep and rugged mountain
path was trying enough; but, to make
The matter worse, the man appeared de-
termined to 90 into danger. The ladies
anu SCuIItLlCu luCIG1OI6. udSLeu0u on
and left the guide and horse to follow.
After much trouble in finding and keep
ing to the path in the darkness, they
ultimately got safe to .Alpnacht, and
told their story. The guide did not
come in. The next morning search was
made for the guide and horse, and both
were found dead on the mountain side,
having evidently fallen from the path
about fifty feet above. The hotel peo-
pletried to keep the affair from becom-
ing public, and the guide was buried
next day without aninquest ofanyllind;
but, having still an eye to business, the
worthy host cody demanded an in
demnfty for the loss of the horse from
the persons who had so nearly become
the victims of the guide he had Supplied
to them. As yet the claim has not been
paid. 1 could not ascertain the guides
name.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-12-17
An Anecdnte of Prnntiss-

In the autumn of 1841 he Joined q
hunting party with which he spent a
week or two under tent in the forests
of the Sunfower, a small river tributary
to the Mississippi, in the vicinity of
Vicksburg. Towering above the tent
stood one of those remarkable elevations.
evidently the. work of art which abound
in the Mississippi Valley, and are COM.
monty called Indian mounds One day
Nj. Prentiss, with the aid of the vines
and Overhanging bOughs, made his way
to tie top of the mound, when his
friends, who were collected around the
tent, discovering him, united in the call
for "a speech--a7 speech from Prentiss.
"Upon what subject?' "Upon the
subject on which you stand. ," He at
once set off in a playful sally for the
amusement of himself and friends, but,
warming in the subject as he proceeded,
his creative imagination now peopled
the forest with that lost tribe, that mys-
terious race, who, ages past, inhabited
the country before the birth Of the
aboriginal trees that abound upon these
huge piles and bespeak their previous
existence.
He introduced every variety of char
acter-falrles, princes, couruers, war
riors; marshaled armies and fought
battles, going on thus for more than an
hour, in a, vein of philosophical refec-
tion and poatical invention, which inn
parted a thrilling, almost real interest
to the imaginary scene. The gentleman
from whom the writer had this Incident,
was man of cultivated tastes, had
often heard Mr.. Prentiss at. the bar and
on the hustings, and considered this one
of his happiest efforts .sd,nseIsq .,f f.s5
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-12-17

DEADwOoD is booming. About two
months ago it was in ashes; now it is
fyelier than ever. That IS, of course,
buta repetition of the experience of every
burnt-out American city, and is another
example Of the innate energy Of western
life. The town is rebuilt with large
brick and frame structures vastly supe-
rior to the original ones. All the mer-
chants are IN business again, many firms
having over 800, 900 worth of goods in
stock. Mechanics wages, which were
SIS day, have now dropped to half that
figure, and last but not least Deadwood
has 7l3 gamblers busily plying their vo-
cation Who says Deadwood is not the
future great?
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-12-17

NEVADA feels the shortened production
Of silver, and the -conseq absence of
speculative 'tramps makes the. capital
city dull beyond conception. The two
bonanzas are about played out. Their
three millions a. month is reduced to
about tenth. Nevada produced alto
together fifty-zix. millions in 1877, and
thirty-five millions in in 1873. In 1879,
we estimate twenty-five millions, A
vast amount of money is being expended
in exploring since the Sutro tunnel gives
the mines easy drainage, and from ap-
pearances, some richere bodies lately dis
covered may develop into veritable boz
nanzas and restore Nevada to It's former
standing. Nine-tenths Of all mining
charters in California and Nevada value
their property at millions, in shares of
500, and new ones are being issued even
now. Nine-tenths are Wildcats of no
actual value, and a clean sweep will be
made of them.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-12-17

lF is announced that new steamship
line is to be started which cannot fail to
be of great advantage to the south and
probably 10 the northwest. It is the
Mississippi Valley and Bgazil Steamship
Line. The St. Paul Press is enthusias-
tic aboutthe project, and it interviewed
Ex-Governor Washburn on the matter.
The governor. thinks. that an immense
trade can be worked up between Brazil
and the southern and western states.
He considers the obstacles at the mouth
of the Mississippi as practically overcome,
and he looks ON the new line. as spIen-
did scheme. 90 At present" continues
the governor, FtoHr communication with
Brazil is by British steamers and via
Liverpool, The result is that we have
little trade with that country, while if
we had direct communication it would
furnish a splendid market for -four and
other products and give us in return
coffee, " etc. ~lT'
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-12-17
Faets Ahont the Human Bodr.

The average man measures about five
feet three and one-half inches. ... -.
The weight of the. average male adult
is 40 pounds. r3 O.. .ra sd q ..sE. b.
The human skeleton consists of more
than 200 distinct bones. aaT s15u.
There are more than 500 separate
Gnuscles in the body and an equal number
of nerves and blood vessels. b.1 dt ~
The skin contains more than two mil
lion openings, which are the outlets for
an equal number of sweat glands. no7
Each perspiratory duct is one-fourth
Of an inch IN length, which will make
the aggregate length of the whole about
nine miles. q - - .fs.,..i
Every adult man has fourteen hun
dred square feet of lungs; or, rather,
the mucous membrane lining the air
cells of his lungs, if spread upon a
smooth, plane surface, would cover an
extend Of fourteen hundred square feet.
About two-thirds of a pint of air il
inhaled at each breath in ordinary res
piration, e4sg ga5f .laiaas .fa
The full capacity of the lungs is about
three hundred and twenty cubic inches
"A man breathes eighteen times a
minute, and uses three thousand cubic
feet, or about three hundredandseyenty
five hogsheads of air per houF.ll a.oAliss
q The weight of the heart isfrom eight
to twelve ounces. 1t beats one hundred
thousand times IN twenty-four hours.
An amount Of Blood equal to the
whole quantity of the body passes
through the heart every minute, ~ M ~
The stomach daily. produces about
nine pounds of gastric juice for the
digestion of the food; Its capacity il
about five pints.
"A LADY walking down street, the
other day, while she cast fur-tive glanoes
at the store windows, was heard to re-
mark; ssThat husband eTmine is sacn
an old muf he won't get me a new sett
this fall. I've a notion to gopher a new
boa that sable to furnish such things as
he had otter. He'll have to beayery
careful; if / catch him trading with
young mink again, Pll make him pub
his. weasel, or seal his destiny for him
l won't bear it any longer, 50 now!.'
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-12-17
Good Coaches, Good Road and

-For nsaps time tables ana al information In nre
gard 10 this ronte, ala on Or address s.ffry = Il
..-a .-t.-..- w. l. ID NNLEY,
,'f.- Cen Pass. ana Ticket Ast Ha.hyil e, Tenn.
ulrs5lr rEE.J HHI VIM 4. ROGERS, 1.l
u1g Pass Aetr Chs tt,ssngg "a 9Ess e :, TeFp !. ~
JunH'7) tf t.f TEav. Agtr, Atlanta. Ca
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-12-17
A Rhode Island Grow Story.


The following remarkable fact concern
ing the visit 0fa crow to the premises of
DR.. Round, of Norton, were told us by a
member Of the family; A few mornings
ago the household was awakened early by
strange chattering that seemed to come
from the roof, and, on looking though a
skvlight, aferow was seen perched there
upon the hOusetop, and very earnestly
talking tOitself NowRnd then it would
call out " George Shaw very distinctly
and at other times the word boy F."
would be clearly heard It tried its
vocal powers also at initiating the hens,
and after the family were astil, it flew
down into the yard and took the house
dog 20 task, and gave him a sound scold-
ing, While there tseiZed cocoanut shell
dipper from the pump and dropped it
on the grass, where 1t seemed q good deal
vexed because the dish fell bottom up.
On observing team driven rapidly past
the hodse the crow flew quickly into a
tree and cried ont: W hOa, boy whoa,
boyl' The story Of this remarkable bird
spread rapidly throughout the neighbor-
hood, and many people. came to see it.
and several unsuccessful Efforts were
made to catch it, At last il, was. Sc
cured and PLACED ~ 2 hep-Rpuse5 but
seemed tQ,tbiRk the imnrisonmenta an in
suit unti4E liharatedd when it few away
and haanots 6eenSeen since
YoUE9 PoET-You have some poetic
fancy, but your poem viii never be ac
cepted BY an ma gazine in the world. oil
is sufficient to eaysthat anybody can
understand il The poem of the period
must be an enigma, Hebus, q conglOm.
Grafton of the vast the infinite, the
homnopathic, the perpetual, and the
serio-hier0glyphic. % You take our mean.
ing44 Write for Iunatics, not for men Of
sense, and yeu WillsReceed.i
-. ,aoi s4f..A
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-12-17

What, been in the city all summer,
And grinding away your Greek3E
Well, well You'll excuse me, old fellow
But really, you are getting weak
Conditioned What of it2 Pm always
Conditioned-a regular stack;
But l work them of somehow or other, 80
And keep myself straight with the fac'
Why, OF course, Tom, you ought to have cut Il,
And gone of with me and st. Clair; t
No end of nicegir and salt WateT,a7
And lots of our fellows down there.
Amy snab? Well, you'd think so TO see themI
Every girl was regular bellies .af i. ,t
All the tone of New Haven and Boston,
And other ones equally swell. fsHs
But one Of them, Tom, was g sumner;
She brought down her game on the wing,
For in less than six hours, by Jingo, ih .l F
She had every man on stI1ngl G s.E- -4l.si
Pretty7 Rather! Her teeth Yers ike pearls, ET
Peeping out between coraline bars;
3 And her eyes, W hen she smiled on a fellow sil
Just tWinkled like midnight cigars. rse .t
sszau-aaezsa.aa1l4sz-sassz1-la
Such is life here, III show you the locket
She gave me at pairing; and VIII
Has bangle Of hers in his pocket,
We keep, them for memorable. - ~ adfI
AS for me, though I wasn't enrapture1, "a
In spite Of the rose tint and pearl, II a4EffftH
For somehow I'nI never cOntenIed
With only tenth Of a girl, 4fJ f-Aiot
And she's not very young, lot me ten you
Ten years since they shipped heT from school,
And don't think she II ever get married,
She can't find big enough fool.
Her name? Miss Van Arsdel, Of Brooklyn, s''
You met her, yeu say, in-J uly,
You're engaged to her T0m2 Oh, the dickensIt
Beg par, I-well hang it-goed-byei -,
'-14ca Constellation. -
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-12-17
The !. BRACKET J, FissI,.l

The genius of the1Whitehallaa n gs,es
has eaught.the following fish by the use
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-12-17
A STRANGE STORY.

IAN Extract nom Anna DcnsOns Ragged ReRists. .,1
Did I tell them of queer people and
strange experiences7
Yes, indeed. did I.