Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-05-09
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The nimhle footed mule is used as
the hight fantastic tow for canal boat.
-AtW 0rst0RS Pioyt,ps.
Are strawberries really as sour as
they look 10 heS This is II question for
mtIhonnaireS onlv.-Nuc RUurl Register.
Scene in German, Professor: "Is
this play modern or ancient in It's
Style Junior; "leS, sir" Professor:
which Total collapse,
Got an item for YOU, said laconic
individual entering this office yeSter-
day. What is itS' asked reporter.
Cord OF woed in town; got lbs feet in
ii. - lolt3o Commrctai.
Some men never lose their presence
Of mind. LIN New York man threw
his mother-in-law out Ct 4 window III
the fifth story Of 4 burning building and
carried feather bed down stairs in his
arms.
A Chattanooga darkcy, who was one
OF jury which failed To convict for
want OF evidence, explained to his
brethren that the Cu)prit was released
on s,plcion,
What THIS country most needs ut
/ present Is species OF honey bee which
will work all winter and give us spring
honey. The idea OF the bee loating
away six months Ol the twelve is nbSuld
+ Already it is announced that the
theft of the fruit crop for another
season is ruined shippers will prob
1 ably order the bottoms Of their baskets
raised another inch on s. on the strength
OF It.
Ii some kind IL IA amendment
/ could be added 20 the marriage service
which would make 1t mandatory upon
the part Of the bride to arise in the
morning and kindle the fire there
would he fewer old bachelors humping
about the country, Waterloo OdScrCr,
The present plan adopted 10y churches
of making contributions hv envelopes
enables man to drop two old fashioned
cart.whesl copper cents INTO the basket
with rs much style and flourish rs it
they we're trade dollars ut par. Seuhcp-
WHe Herald.
\ young lady sent twenty-five cents
and a postage-stamp III reply to adver-
4 tsement of "How 10 make IN impress
sion. and received for an answer,
Sit down on pan Of dough
An epitaph can easily be made to
suggest the domestic history Of many
years. For instance;
Sacred to the memory &c Anthony Drake,
Who diod for peace and quictnt 49, SNkc
/ HE wife was constantly eColding and scunin'
Aath k .1.t DIAL Ia
John Sartis, of New Orleans, refused
TO marry II young lady 10 whom he had
been engaged, "bccausc she was subject
To erysipeas. In the breach Of prom
Use suit to come, John should offer the
Shakspearean defense, "Was ever we
man i'll this humor Wood? Was ever
woman III this humor won?'
All, dc you begin to notice just about
now innocent little items about this lake
nd that lake, and the wall.cycd pike,
and the pickerel, and the black bass,
and the carp, and the yellow perch, and
the drumheads and thing? The SUM
mer resorts are beginning to tell fish
stories. Burlington Huckeve.
4 schoolmistrcss while taking down
the names of their parents, ut the be-
ginning Of the term, asked one little
fellow, whats your fathers name
con, you needn't take down his nnme
he's too old To go to school To wo-
man, WAS the reply.
A gentleman who has spent some
days in the region Of the coal-ol wells
in Pennsylvania says that in his opinion
the government ought TO interfere nj
once, and put stop to further pump
ing and boring for it. He is quite GER
tain the oil is drawn through these
wells from the bearing of the earth's
axis, and that the earth Will cease "a
turn when the fabrication ceases.
An Irish waiter at Christmas gath
ering at m uptown hotel complimcnted
II turkey in the following manner:
Faith its not six hours since that tur.
key was walking around his real estate
wild his hands in his pockets, never
dreaming what pretty invtashun he'd
have TO jine you gentlemen ut dinner. "
A Tennessee widow bought suit o!
clothes for young man, with the un.
derstanding that he should marry her,
but he fastened to his own county and
purchased license for himself and II
young lady whom ne had previously
engaged himself to, and wHs married.
The widow made him surrender the
clothes.
A devoted mother sending her 7-year
old son for the first time TO the district
school, was considerably surprised To
observe, when he came back, Il look Of
utter disgust and modification. whats
the matter, darIing?" she said. "don't
you like to 90 g school T. Yes" he
answered, - do, but you see all the
boys have got patches on their pants,
and they laughed Mt nc; and--and
(sobbingl if you don't put some on
mine i won't 80 again. "-Andre,cs'
Buzur.
Scene: Fayette street car. Con-
ductor To passenger near the door
Fare, sir" Passenger (produciDg q
ten.dollar bill from welEfilled walletl
=" You'll have 10 take il out Of that;
have no change" CAN right, sir"
And as he stepped back upon the plat
form, minus nine dollars and ninety