davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-09-12
HITS AND MISSES.

People call you deer when they would fawn
upon you.
The Whitehall Times says there are great
many people who will never get to heaven
unless they can so at excursion rates.
Investigator wants to know what is good
for cabbage worms. Bless your soul, man,
cabbages, of course. A good plump cabbage
will last several worms a week.
Don't sit so far away from me, Harry,
dear" she said to her lover while they were
steaming up the river with the excursion.
Don't sit SO far away and turn your back
to me in that way people will think we are
married"
A little boy, the son of an orthodox Presby-
terian, recently listened attentively to some
conversation in regard TO Jesus having been a
jew. At last he could stand it no longer and
broke out with "Well don't see how that
could be, when God, His father, was Presby-
terian."
At legal investigation of a liquor seizure
the Judge asked an unwilling witness: "What
was in the barrel that you had?" The reply
was; well, your Honor, it was marked
'whiskey' on the end of the barrel and Pat
Duffy on the other end, so that / can't say
whether it was whiskey or Pat Duffy was in
the barrel being as am on my oath"
A little four-year-old girl going to church
with her mother for the first time the other
Sunday saw the long-handled contribution
boxes passed. With great wonder in her face,
and to the great amusement of all about her,
she broke out in the loudly whispered excla-
nation. Mamma, mamma, what makes them
pass those corn-poppers round for -
Willie, aged ten, and Jenny, aged six, were
playing together. One of them was minutely
examining fly. Il wonder how God made
him :" he exclaimed God don't make flies
as carpenters make things" observed the
other boy. God says. let there be flies, and
and there is flies ~ PhiladelDhid Press
"Oh. YES. I'm mad-iust as mad as can
he -, cycloimed fashionable lady TOSSING her
bead 70 Give emphasis 10 her words. ito
think lint those horrid reporters sbould have
had tbc in,nudence to IuG me into tbeir de-
scrintion of the FitzgeraId wedding Tph
the borrid tbings-and tbev didn't even men
tion the lace on nv dress )"
M c,.o,5,no 80 l;,tlo torr ,,oor ola boa
-, .. 40 ! Io LA ;i"S'
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-09-12

A LITTLE UNPLEAsASTNEss' AT WEST
ERN WEDDING Little Rock (Ark. Ga
zette says: few miles from Wittsburg, st.
Francis county, Ark, lived a widow named
Hammett This woman was engaged in farm
ing and though she had two grown sons was
compelled to employ young man to superin-
tend farm labors. Mrs. Hammett was about
40 years of age. The laborer was mere
boy, but an attachment soon sprang up be-
tween the widow and the youth, which ended
in matrimonial proposal. The wedding day
was fixed The two SONS, hearing of the
matrimonial arrangements that had been
made between their mother and the STRIPPING
called upon her, and tried to dissuade her
from marriage. The widow refused to accept
her sons counsel. The sons made threats,
but the widow affirmed that she loved the
young man, and would marry him at all haz-
ards. The SONS went away, and at the ap-
pointed time the young man appeared attred
for the wedding. The minister came and
friends were assembled. Thou art man and
wife" had hardly been pronounced, when a
flash at the window followed by loud report,
terrified the woman and astOnished the men.
Another flash, another report, aud the newly
made husband sank to the floor. The widow 4
younger son was the murderer He fed but
was captured Next day the young husband
died, and shortly afterward the widows young
er son, in attempting TO escape, was shot and
killed and report says that shortly afterward
the elder brother went TO his mothers house
and beat her brains out with club.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-09-12
NO. 81.


A gentleman attired in clothes which had
seen better days called at the Tribune Office
on Saturday with a slip cut from the paper,
and asked to see the editor When his re-
quest had been complied with, in measure
he said with a whitening sneer:
''Wot are ye giyin' US, young feller, hey?
Don't you see what you're printing in the pa
per? Look here ~ and he rendered the re-
porter n printed scrap, which the reporter
took between the points Of pair Of scissors,
and scutinized at a respectful distance.
This, my friend" said the reporter to the
representative of the Hendrick b. Wright in
terest, this, my friend, seems to be an in
teresting item about IN impecunious gentle
man in Winona, MINI, who weeded a Gu
cumber-be for his dinner and sawed cord
of wood for his supper, and whose demeanor
so impressed the woman that she at once
wrote an account of the affair to the Winona
Republican. Are you the industrious gentle
man referred to? Do you want to correct
the report z"
"Na-aw," said the visitor, Indignantly.
"Do look like man that would weed bed
of cowcumberers of the ground for a small
plate Of hash Do you think l could 50 far
forget myself as to split mental wood for the
cold buckwheat cakes that fall from the rich
mans table Z"
"Well, what do you want p
WANT This is what l want, and speak
as the representative of about 800, 600 Amer
lean citizens. want you to stop publishing
items like that, which are only calculated to
increase the evils of contraction, and the suf-
ferings Of the poor. II the impression once
gets abroad that us fellows are in the habit
of wedding the cowcumbers upon thousand
beds and making saw mills of ourselves for
the sake of our board, wen be ruined That's
what's the matter. If you want to find read
ing that will interest your readers and bene-
fit the struggling poor just you give III, IN
some stories about disguised dukes and ltal-
ian marquises and tramps, who were given a
square feed of roast chicken and ice.cream,
with fftcen-cent cigars aud a nip of good
whiskey as grace after meat, and who, fifteen
weeks aftcrward, left their generous bentfac-
tors $3.50. 600. That's the sort of literature
you fellows want to print Your readers cry
for it, and the farmers sit on the fences for
hours waiting to get their mail"
The reporter thanked his visitor for this
communication Of his views on journalism,
and the visitor left, having inquired if the
Congressional Labor Committee was still in
session. -- tHicago TTi5une.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-09-12

MAN OF MANY MIsFoRTUNEs. The recent
death of a resident of the town of Guilford,
Conn, recalls the remarkable series of acci-
dents and misfortunes to which his life was
exposed. w. W. Fowler was man Of rare
energy and excellent habits, tireloss in mind
and body and one Of the most prominent
and intelligent Of the farmers in his county.
Throughout his life he was followed by ''un-
merciful disaster" but he emerged from all
his misfortunes except the last with no loss
of energy or hope. Accidents began to beset
him in his youth, but his troubles did not at
tract attention until the time when his life
was first in danger. Several barrels of flour
fell upon him and rolled over him, inhcting
injuries of very serious nature. He recov-
cred, but only to face the series of misfor-
tunes which Mt last drove him out of the
world. First came an accident which left
him with II broken hip; and this was follow
ed by others in which he had an arm and Il
leg broken. Sometimes his troubles took the
form of dangerous sickness, and from several
attacks of this kind good constitution and IA
buoyant and hopeful temperament brought
him to health again, contrary to the eXpecta-
tions of his friends. His farm was an excel
lent one and upon it he labored early and
late. In his farm buildings he took especial
pride. for they were models of their kind.
Three times were they destroyed by fire,
when they were filled with the years crops,
and with them went most of his farming
tools and machinery and his carriages and
wagons. In one or two instances u combi-
nation of sickness and such losses caused a
pressure under which most men would have
yielded up their lives. He became quite
well known in his section of the State as a
man of many misfortunes. Not long ago,
while improving his farm by trying to re-
move boulder, it fell upon him while he
was in an excavation by the side Of it. 1t
was thought that the injuries he then receiv-
ed must result in death but to the surprise of
many he was once more in active life, appar-
emily as strong as ever, after having been con-
fined'to his house for months But in n short
time his last misfortune was TO come. While
driving to his home from II neighboring town,
on dark and rainy night in July last, the
wheels of his wagon struck two stones which
had been laid bare in the road-bed, and the
shock was so great that the wagon seat was
displaced and Mr.. Fowler thrown to the
ground. His head struck the earth and the
leg of one of his boots caught upon the wag-
step. In an insonsible condition he was
dragged by his horse half a mile. Then he
was seen and taken to his house For over
month he lay helpless in bed, suffering great
pain most of the time. At length his intern
al injuries, which had caused paralysis over
came the strong spirit that had fought 80
well against what almost seemed ineIorable
fate.-N. y. Times.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-09-12

An ExTENUATING PLEA FOR BENEDICT AR
NoLn.-Isaac n. Arnold of Chicago well
known rs the intimate friend of Abraham
Lincoln, has been studying the history of his
execrated namesake-to whom, by the way,
he is in no way related-and in doing so he
has found, as lie believes, reason to modify
the universally accepted opinion of the bril-
liant soldier who attempted TO betray the
cause for which he fought SO well. Mr.. Ar
mold has obtained from the traitors descend
ants in England n large quantity of original
and autograph material which no historian
had ever seen and the existence of which was
not suspected. In the State Department at
Washington he found papers which fatty con-
tradicted Bancroft. He also cites the Philip
Schuyler correspondence with Arnold and
other Revolutionary soldiers, These also con-
tradict Bancroft IN very material point.
Bancroft gives no credit to Arnold for defeat
ing Burgoyne and winning the great victory
which did so much for the patriot cause, The
Schuyler correspondence shows thatto Arnold
more than to any other man, we are indebted
for that decisive triumph. On the very day
that Bancroft says Arnold was not in the field
at all he was actually the patriot leader. The
Schuyler correspondence establishes the per-
feet truth of Lossing's statement that but for
Arnold, Burgoyne would have entered Albany
The most important discovery made by Mr.
Arnold is letter found among Benedict Ar
nold's papers, and believed to have been writ
by his friend, Beverly Robinson of Virginia.
Robinson was Tory, who, from the first,
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-09-12

RECENT FEATs IN RAILWAY EEGNERRING. .-
There seems in these days to be no difficulties
of Nature which the iron rail cannot overcome.
When the Union Pacific railroad crossed the
summit of the South Pass Mt an elevation OF
5000 feet, it was considered n great engineer
ing feat. Now this height is far exceeded by
by the Denver and Rio Grande railroad at
Veta Pass, where it crosses Dump mountain
at an elevation of $500 feet and the Denver r
aud South Park railroad coming to Leadville,
passes KenOsha Summit at n height of over
TO- 900 feet The Denver and Rio Grande
railroad are now surveying route to the
San Juan region of Colorado, which will cross
the range at an elevation of over 10000 feet
and by grades which were formerly considered
impossible. Engineers of the present day
have abandoned the old tactics. Instead of
making very long detours to make easy grades
over high passes, they approach them more
directly, and conquer the grade by using great
locomotive power, and find this the cheapest
in the end. The Santa Fe railroad, however,
by following the Arkansas river on this line,
avoids any very heavy grades. Correspond
ence Chicago Tribune
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-09-12

FRENCH ARCADIA. Recently son was
married, of NJ. Menier, the great chocolate
manufacturer of France, who entertained
Gen. Grant unon his first arrival in Paris,
with the most lavish hospitality and the
pleasure of the occasion was much enhanced
by present to the bridal pair of pillow of
roses from the workmen of the establishment.
1t was not an expensive gift, yet it was one
singularly graceful and appropriate; and
there was, under the circumstances, a signih-
cance in the act which renders it worthy of
more than passing notice, for M. Menier is
one of the great manufacturers of France,
having hundreds il not thousands, of men,
women aud children in his employ, who are
never disturbed by any of the antagonisms
between labor and capital The chocolate
factories of Noisiel, on the banks of the river
Marne, furnish employment to nearly all the
inhabitants Of the town, and the wealthy and
prosperous proprietor, in providing for their
comfort, setsan example worthy of imitation.
The cottages are close TO the works, each
with four rooms good cellar, and garden
for the cultivation of fruits, flowers and veg
etables, all furnished at a rental of twenty
four dollars year. The schools of Noisiel,
which are excellent, are all maintained at
NJ Meniers expense and they are graded,
from the infant school, where the children go
at three years of age, and day nursery,
where the babies are cared for, while their
mothers are at work in the factory, to the up
per schools, where the boys and girls are
taught to the age of fourteen in all the
branches of good French education, includ-
ing singing, book keeping and drawing, for
both sexes, and needle work for the girls.
There is library also, belonging to the OPP
eratiyes, and a savings bank which they are
encouraged to patronize but the most strik-
ing feature of the place after the schools, is
the cooperative stores where the workmen
obtain their supplies of food and groceries at
wholesale prices, with a slight percentage
added to defray the expenses of handling the
goods, and nothing more. There is no
thought of strikes at Noisiel.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-09-12

THE PULSE. MANY erroneous impressions
prevail about the pulse as indicative of health
or disease, a common notion being that its
beatngs are much more regular and uniform
than they really are. Frequency varies with
age. In the newborn infant the beatings are
from 1870 to 40 to the minute in the second
year, from 100 to ll5; from the seventh to
the fourteenth year, from so to 90i from the
fourteenth to the twenty first from 10 to So !;
from the twenty first to the siXtieth year,
from 20 to 10. After that period the pulse is
generally thought to decline but medical au-
thorties differ radically on this point, having
expressed the most contradictory opinions.
Young persons are often found whose pulses
are below 90, aud there have been many in
stances Of pulses habitualy reaching 100, or
not exceeding 30, without apparent disease.
Sex, especially in adults, influences the pulse,
which in women is from 10 to II beats to the
minute more rapid than in men of the same
age. Muscular eXertion, even position, ma
terially affects the pulse, Its average frequen-
cy in healthy men of twenty-seven is, when
standing, 81 when sitting, II; when lying,
6G per minute in women of the same age,
in the same positions, ~, 81 and 40. In
sleep the pulse is in general considerably
slower than during waketulness. In certain
diseases acute dropsy of the brain, for eX-
ample-there may be 100, even POO beats !;
in other kinds of disease, such as apopleXy
and some organic affections of the heart there
may be no more than 20 to 30 to the minute.
Thus, one of the commonest dagnostic signs
is liable to deceive the most experienced prac-
titioners. rs.-NelD York Times
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-09-12

The MEANEsT MAN YEA mean fellow in
Cincinnati takes the prize for swindling meth
ods of raising money. He was fellow-board-
er with Miss Roberts, she being dress
maker and he reputed ex-army officer.
He told her he was very wealthy, although
the fact was that he was a penniless ad-
venturer. She fell in love with him. but hesi-
tated about marrying him before learning
something of his antecedents. One day he
pretended to faint away, and, on being put TO
bed, said that his illness would quickly kill
him as il was the result of an old wound
which he had long known would finally prove
fatal. He expressed desire to marry Miss
Roberts before he died, and bequeath to her
all his property. She consented and they be-
came husband and wife. Then he recovered,
permitted his wife to pay his board for sew
eral weeks, borrowed $50, all her savings,
and disappeared.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-09-12

JOSH BIILINGsIsMs If a young man hain't
got a well-balanced head like to see him part
his hair in the middle.
don't take any foolish chances. II wuz
called upon to mourn over dead mule |
should stand in front ov him and do mi weep
ing.
There il no man so poor but that he kan
afford to keep one dog aud have seen them
so poor that they could afford to keep three.
say to thirds of the ritch people in this
world, make the most ov your money, for it
makes the most ov you.
never argy agin a success when see "A
rattlesnAix's he'd sticking out Of whole. /
bear of to the left and say to miself that
hole belongs to that snRix.
The inhdel argys just AZ bull duz ehaned
to a post He bellows and paws, but he don't
get loose from the post notiss. Not much.
thank the Lord that there is one thing in
this world that money kant buy, and that IL
the wag of dogs tail.
notiss one thing the man who rides on
the kars every day is satisfied with one seat,
but he who rides once year wants four.
Flattery is like colone water; TO be smelled
of, not swallowed.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-09-12

BREADTH OF THE UNITED STATEs.-Few
people are aware that the proud boast of
Englishmen that the sun never sets on the
British Empire is equally applicable to the
United States. Instead of being the western
limit of the Union, San Francisco is only
about midway between the furthest Aleutian
Isle, acquired by our purchase of Alaska, and
Eastport Me. Our territory extends through
1872 of longitude, or 10 more than half way
round the globe. The Rocky Mountain
Presbyterian, in commenting on this fact,
says "When the sun is giving its goodnight
kiss to our westernmost isle on the confines
of Behring's Sea, it is already flooding the
fields and forests of Maine with its morning
light, and in the eastern part of that State is
more than an hour high. At the very mo-
ment when the Aleutian fisherman, warned by
the approaching shades of night, is pulling his
canoe toward the shore, the wood-chopper of
AIaine is beginning TO make the forest echo
with the stirring music of his AK"
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-09-12
BRATTLEBoRO, W., FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER II. 1879

sar college be equally fortunate2 Notwith-
standing the good already accomplished by
Vassar the first college established in this
country for women, much more could have
been done had she received but n small part
of what has already been given to other in
silly spare enough to establish a professors
chair, or a scholarship, called by their names,
and the college with its present equipment
and with fair amount granted or endowed,
would become a university. The fame of
Vassar has spread over the world. This l
know, because the Belgian government has
requested, through its minister, a plan of the
college, and n New York architect, Mr.. James
Wood has made the necessary copies for this
purpose. In London, Holloway, the pill
manufacturer, is now building a college for
women on the plan of Vassar, and its course
of study will be similar to that of its American
prototype. RADGx.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-09-12

IT Is WICKED TO SoHwEAR. Two Germans,
fresh from Cincinnati, visited New York,
and one, well acquainted, invited his friend TO
Delmonico's, where dinner for two and bot
tie of wine were ordered. The place and the
fare were praised until the bill ($ll) was
presented. This they considered an extor-
ton. They paid, however, and while walk
ing down Broadway the excited German com
menced TO swear at the supposed extortion.
His friend then said DO not schwear,
Yawoob 1t is wicked to schwear. God has
punished that man Delmonico." How p
'Thaye mine pocket full NIT spoons"
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-09-12
Miscellany.


!.
o sears and sagesl ye have read
Unnumbered volumes through,
Aud knowledge hides his head
With you.
Deep ponderlng aud far-seeing,
Yr know the mystery OF this being,
Its origin and end.
Tell me, then, what am;
Tell me from whence ! came;
Tell me whereto tend;
Yea, why am at all.
In vain l call.
From sage or seer
No answer cometh to my ear.
why ask Of them that cannot give?
why call for light
To them that grope In the night?
In God live,
Draw breath have sense aud motion.
came from God; TO God must return,
As the rain, ocean. born,
Returneth to the bosom Of the ocean.
lam all His, and His alone.
No other maker names me;
No other master claims me.
Nay, | am not my own.
Lord OF my lie and destiny,
do confess, my dod, in Thee
run sovereignty and absolute domain.
H.
why was made? God had no need u me.
was not necessary, had no claim TO be.
without consulting me or mine,
But u His royal pleasure,
And as the by-plau Of u vast design
Including me aud my scant measure,
From deep mould
As Infinitely old
As Ills eternal mind he brought me.
And into being wrought me.
A delicate comploIity
OF spirit and machinery,
OF matter, force aud faculty,
frail and feeble creature,
But with destiny above my nature,
He designed me,
And assigned me
To a station, service, and vocation
In the great feodary Of his creation.
There, to my post and duty tied,
Let me abide,
Calm and content;
Indifferent
Whatever may befall me;
Ready to stay and labor on
Until my work be done;
Ready to 20 when God shall call me.
He that made me and my destiny
Is wise aud true;
He knows what is His due
Aud what is best for me.
Oh! what should be the eud Of man
But TO fulfill
That holy will
In which mans being firHt began
Nv end. the reason Of my being, yea
My souls true bliss,
All lie IN this:
To live for Thee, my God, for Thee.
-GufhYT... Nor
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-09-12

A subscriber to Southwestern newspaper
died recently, leaving four years subscription
unpaid. The editor appeared at the grave
and deposited in the coffin palm-leaf fan, a
linen coat and thermometer.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1879-09-12
Our New York Letter.

THROUGH THE HALLS OF vAssAR-A MAGNIF-
1cENT 1NsTIrUTIoN-wHAT IT DOES FOR THE
HIGHER EDUCATION OF AMERICAN WOMEN
THE vAssARs OF TO-DAY.