davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1879-05-10
CURRENT GOSSIP.
THE BURGLAR AND TIE EDITOR
HHrfftte.

THE BURGLAR AND TIE EDITION
Hurdttte.
GLACfs.
A burglar climbed into an etlitor's room
Neody and poor wss hc-
And he saw In tho dm uncertain gloom,
With legs as long III the stem Of broom,
4 pair af trousers. "1'll just treeze 10 'em!"
Ho chucklce with acndish glcc.
He lIftod them up from the back Of thsShalr-
Lightly they hung on hir arm;
Thoy wcsc Tho editors only pals,
Thinner thaN goseaincE everywhere:
o but the kncca were worn and bare!
Gooa clothcs-when TIC weather is wasnl
CouNrrnsoanr.
All orer the room he soaFchud In yhln-
Thcra wns no mora 10 ind;
Thero was no tien Of sordtd gain,
M 1ahsing drops from Eaiacu ra!n-
Only tho wealin Of slnupet'e ara!n.
Thu peace uf tho clitoE's mind.
rARArEr.
Ho turned bis hack on that happy hons,
Thourhtfullg 1.etttng those pants;
Ont Of tho window he cautiously clone:
liz emrtitd ths pockets-n brokcn comb,
4 stub Ut pencil, manuscript puem,
Answutcd biz searching glance.
NAMPAnT.
lie started; The tears flashcd into h[s eyes;
l1e leaned up hyainat thu fence;
4 look nf plying. mute surprise
Aoftenea tits lace: he sticd hts cries;
l1c loukcd 1t NJ ssyAg, and measured its size,
fGlue.-ahout nine cents,
TERRErLEtN,
Into bis pocketR-hta uwll-ho went,
And he dragged nut a tcn-dotla bill,
And ile hastily crnnlnieI 1t, every cent,
Into the cuttnr'h pockets, aud ucnt
Tho trousers into d ,sad. Anl sent
Them oyct the wIndow. sill. .
SLOPE.
Thon on to wenlthier house he spod,
''tl ,YaH charity well bua1owed,"
Ho said to himself; Ahd, when night had Ged,
And tue editor roso from, tlis yir.uoaa he'd,
And foana !a TIC money, hc wAts,lod md sald,
, 1879-05-10

MILWAUKEE, May ayU.-FLoun-Flrm and Inactive.
GnA1x-Whoat firm; opened and ctosou firm;
No. Milwaukee, 'iard, $l.o.; No. sEil.
June, 00'ic; No. ;. sl1ic; No. !. Tl,5o;
roicctul. 8Sc. Corn higher; No. 2, ike Oats
nr,n and higher; No. 9, 2Uns.GAc. Ryo stronger
and antnt; No. !. 46c. harley stoaly; No. !,
sprluK, GOc.
p,oy,s.oNs-Qutet hit steady. Mess pork quiet;
new. 3D.50. Prime steam lard, 81. 10.
linGS-Quiot but stcnty at 81. 30Gea. 90.
FtEloltTs-Nhoat to iiudaio, INC.
TrcEI1Ts-- Flnlr, .. 000 brls; wheat, 8a 600 bu.
6ulrAEara-Flour. 8. COO brla; wheat, ~, 600 bu.
, 1879-05-10

CLsYELANn. O.. May q. .-Pr7RoLEuA - in.
changed; standard white. 110 test. &c.
Oil Ctrr, Pa. May Q. .-i'Erao.Euh- Market
opened suiet, With 7dHc bid, advanced to 784c,
ut which price Il closed; aipmentt, 4, 600 brls,
nrcraging N, 600; transactions, Iii, COO.
pirr%HuNU. ru., May U.--rrrnoLErx-Quct;
crude. i51ieat laskcrs fur shtplnun,; tc1ned, 8ac
PHILADELPHIA delivery.
, 1879-05-10

CINCINNATI, O.. May 0.-CoTTpN-DnH at 12c.
FLoun-1n good dgmnni and priccs q shade
higher; family, s4.Golj.I0.
unAtH-Whcat stronger; rcd md while, 81. 031
LOT, Corn qnlot but fyn. ut 37de37Mc. Oats
tfrnt at 1ikl3lsc. Iye steady, will, fair demand
At hGc. Harley strong; No. 9 fnll, i5c.
Pnovts'oxs-porx qulet hut firm at 50. 75G1 10. 90.
Lard 9uiot cut firm; cnrrcMt makc held at su. 1aX.
Dnlg meats etroreosi Shoulders held at SI.b1
cash; saics carly, $;h47!} Juno short ribs sold at
81. 80; closca ut a, 5a bid; short clear held at
t.70dt4. 7h. Dncon In good dsnnd at full prices
81: 9eia. lals. 81. la!t Gth..5, ann &5.37yt.
Mlt,skr-Acttvc nntl firm at 81 III.
UuTrEN-Oull ind unchanged,
LlNsERD 0!L-HtcAdy; u1c.
, 1879-05-10

Totxpo. o.. May D.-GnAis-ThHnt dntl snd
weak auhcr Michigan, spot, 81. 04 .!unc, 81. Oh;
July, s. .04ti aekcu, Los bid: No. 2 rcd w{ntor,
spnt g. t1A; Jnnc, Il. OH July held at 81. 041i.
". .0f ba. Corn dntt: No z, apot :ISc bid; June,
37ac neled, 37Hc bid. Oats inactiso.
, 1879-05-10

Special n'suasca to 1as 1ri1ane.
KASHAs CIR, No., Mar O. D.-GnA,N-Ths Price
Cdrrtnt reports wheat receipts, i, 8aa bu; ship
uleuts, 1,0DD bu, stronger: No. !, cash, 9l.00;
Coru-Neesipts. 10, to2 bui shipplents, g. b5l Gp;
highcft NJ. sash, soc; May, j0Hc.
, 1879-05-10

ST. Louis. no., May D.-FGouE-6tiN too IT.
regular to giro accurate quotations.
GnAN-Wheat excited and htghst; No. red
fall. el.07MDf. OH cash; S1.07h May; 81. o8!;fa
LOO june; 00H@G0Ac July; No. 3 do, sl.05;
No. spr!nE, 8sc bid. Cor,-Dcmand active and
prices have advanced: No. 2 mixed, J3AGe;tIAc
cash, a31iGs33Hc May; 34G34ac ,1uno; ai@a
:i5!tc July; aGD3Ghc AuRua. Oats higher; No. =,
@7hc bid. 1tye quiet firm; 4Hc. barley dull and
unchanged.
pnoyistoxs-pork quiet; jobb!nP.! $50. no. Lard
An advance IA asked but nune tstab!ahud; 81. 90
bid. Hulk mentS htKhor: c!car tib S4.h5j 81. 10
hsro. 81. 37s at Dea Mptnes: clear 81. ~. i}acon
ttrnnger; clear r,bs. s.. 1uG05. Ii caslI; 81. 10
July; clear %, :0i15. III.
LEeE!rrs -FlcpT. I, nQo hr!s; .whcas, 10. 900 bul
corn, II, COO hu; outs, Is, o0o bn; tyot LOCO bu;
borleyt NUM-.
S,IIrMENTs-Fto 5000 brls; wheat. 10. GOO
bu: corn, 20, 600 bu; onss, nono; rye, ., QUO bu;
1uriGY, n0uo.
, 1879-05-10
uIJTF,AL0.'

BuryA.o, N. T., May D.-QaAtx-Whsat neg.
1ected; No. Duluth hesd Al 81. 0B, Cpsp-Falr
demand; sales =, 0oD ba no. = and bigh.mtxed.
100; IL oara now, on rack. 40Gt40hc. Oats-Falr
demand; sssiea =, ,G0D bu No. Chicago ee Bic,
Rye neglected. lIavluy dull. -.
CANAL FusIanrs-Lower; wheat, 6oi oorni A4c.
, 1879-05-10

oswEno. n. T., May D.-nnA1v- WHEAT firm;
No. hard ,pniat,l apring, 81. 10: No. 2 3fIiwan.
kcc, 81. Oh Corn Gtm; old no. = Western. 4Gc.
, 1879-05-10

INDIANApOI,Ia,

INDIANAPOLIS, Ind, May 0.-IIoas-s Strong
At 90; receipts. 2. Goo; shipments, ., 100.
daA1s-Whoat higher; No. 2 red, 81. .o50l. Oh.
Corn atsong at 35G135Nc. Oats assouY at a1H0
sBItc.
Shoulders, 3}{c; clear rib, 4hc.
Lard. u. 10 aafad. lIatne, 7AGt7Ac.
, 1879-05-10

nErnor. Mich. May o.-Floun-ftsm' good
demand. .---....
GnA1N-Wheat sttopgest extra, Sa.o7A, No.
white, u. "; Mny, Il. 00s bid; June, sl.ooai
, 1879-05-10

DosToN, Mass., MRy 0.-FLoun-stea1y; West.
orn snpsrs, 81. 75Qt:s. o013 is; Wisconsin extras.
81, ,Uo6S4.5 Minnesota do, 81, o0l6.71; winter
Indiana, ST. o0lu. 90; 81. Louis. $5.h0db0. 26;
Wisconsin und Minnesota patent process, spsng
wheat extras. sd' 5oos,6o; winter whcats, so.o
Gb8.b0.
OWAsN-Corn quiet; No. 2 mixed and yellow,
4NHdbANc; extra Ye1iow, 4atic; Atcamtr, 40c.
Oats trtn; No. mid extra Wlto, aHIs Gt49c; No,
2 wh1tc. ;s7@soi No. y white and No, = mixed,
35HQtHb1ic. lsyr. b!dtUbe.
IsEck,rrs-Flour, I,3oU hsts; corn. 1t, 600 bu;
wheat, u, 400 bu.
, 1879-05-10

DETROIT,

PzonfA, Msy a.-Htunw1sEs-qutst; 100 bsis 1t
ei.Q2.
, 1879-05-10

Tho Wholesale market was A1aln active, and
stca,ty at tho recent advance. Abont ten cnr2ocs
were offered, mud Tho docks woro ncaty cleared by
night. plccu stuff sold at so. 20, anu inch MAS
nrm At tho lato prices. Tho demand was local.
The roeeipta continue Hight, and receivers say They
arc getting few orders from tho other sto for voa-
sells. Following arc lilo quotations uf lumber
, 1879-05-10

l4E1UI3F IIIIIE4
LOUISVILLE. Msy D.-CoTTox-Firm; Bhado
higher, al 1a:&c.
FL6utI-Dul and UNCHANGED.
dnAtH-Wi,cat frmer aud higher: red And amber
al S1.05. Corn lraas: white, 4oc; mixed, o7Hc.
Oats quiet; white, 3:ci mixed, c0.fc. Rye
drm al 6lc,
NAy-Sseady 1t 81, 00Glt1.h0. ...
pH0y1AIuNs-Iosls quiet, hut arm at $1,000.
Lard steady; cho!ca leaf torce. 7stc; do kcg, A4c
Hulk !ncats quiet, but stuadyt shnuldcrs, 31Gb
OHo,
j WulsKr-MArkst dull at $1.Ql.
, 1879-05-10

stronger: Workers, 81. 7nSb3. 7hi medium And
heavy, 81. 7o@H.aO; light mixed, -. 60Gt1. 90.
KANSAS UlTY.
KAxaAk C.rr. No.. May O.-CArrtE-.Thn Fres
TMr' tnt reports cattle receipts. 1't3; sh!nncnss.
nntlvr .tuc*era md fceIc'n @:l 0udD 420; haiiso
COWS, 81. 2gEEfb3.71. ..-
Jlnnr-lsccpipss, BOT; shipments. l1s; frmnr.
ping, s.. .BiS1J. .Qj.
CINCINNATI.
CixctxNtrf, Mny g.-IIonr-Actlvo and firm:
common, 90. h0fhj 2;i: Hight. 81, a09h3. b5; puck
lug, 81. 40GD3. Cos hutchcrn', 81. G0Gl3. 70; TO-
ccipts, 1,610; shipments, s15.
, 1879-05-10

Vl4Aos
Last worls OF the Czar to 1ate-"Wly, see
lcrc! I still liye.n-Haga|o ELpress.
At last arcounts tha ChtliAn army had the
Bolivian army down anu WA sitting Oh hlm.-
BostoI l'ost.
Tho Worcester Gazette has saught tic "hey''
fcyer, ant! siugs "lIcy, the merFy May-Day md
catarrt,.n
An Atlanta darky who tried to send one Of
his children through the post-ot!!cc was arrested
for aa ationapt at blaekna!ltag g.-Bosio" Courier.
Feck's Sun Is afraln Capt. Hoyton will gut
aground in ono OF the passes being improved by
Eads' istttss. noynton should be careful OF
In the patllctiolt.tlo poem published tls other
layt for tlc llns, 40 sistcr. mourn not for your
da(l'' pluuso read, 40 slater, mourn NOT for
sour deau!'-Ciaci',asi E'.qutrsF.
"What killed Cleopatsa!' asked tho Pro.
fessoF; "rhe bite bot 4aap." sAtt the boy
from Vermont, "what II sho had eot down On
, 1879-05-10

TuRpEHTINE.
WnNrxgTox, May 0.-SrlRtrs or TunpEnT1NE-
Steady at g8Ac.
, 1879-05-10

satcs: Cargo schr Trader. from Pentwater. 130.-
GOO feet plccO stn!r at ST. 80.
schr ]. Phillips, from hfan!stee. 100, 600 feet
piece stun at 80. 10; and 10, 600 feet PKG posts
70 feet and over. nt g. 30.
Cargo sehr +. Uay. frpm white Lake, 1T, 900
feet short ptcco stuff At SO. %, mill tally.
Schr Lufntefman, from Black Lake, lao, 600 feet
stflps and h0arta nt 81 no. and :. 900 1nth at ST. H.
Thu ynrd market wnB fairly active md ateady.
Dimension atuK md mist kinds Of dry lumber arc
, 1879-05-10
NAMPAnT.
SLOPE.

Thon on to wenlthier Iouxe he eped,
''flwuk II charlty well bpstowed,"
lo said to himself; nhd, when night had had,
Ana tue editor roso from his vjssu1ua bed,
And found the money, he whfsted and said,
t'Mcll, An e-eaitnlIY bloWcdt"
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1879-07-25
Beautiful Things.

Beautiful faces are those that wear;
II matters little il dark or fair;
Whoie-souled honesty printed there.
Beautiful faces are those that show;
Like crystal panes where heart fires glow
Beautiful thoughts that burn below.
Beautiful lips are those whose words
Leap from the heart like songs Of birds,
Yet whose utterance prudence girds.
Beautiful hands are those that do
Work that is honest and brave and true
Moment by moment the !ono day
through.
Beautiful feet are those that 90
On kindly missions, 10 and fro
Down lowl;est ways, if God Wills so.
Beautiful shoulders are those that bear
Ceaseless burdens of homely care,
With patient grace and daily prayer.
Beautiful lives are those that bless
Silent rivers Of happiness,
Whose hidden fountain but few may
guess.
Beautiful twilight, 1T sot oil sun,
Beautiful goal, with race we'll won,
b c2utiiul rest. with woIk we'll done.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1879-07-25
Harvest Hymn.

Once more the liberal year laughs out
Ger richer stores than gems or gold ;
Once more with harvest song and shout
Is natures bloodless triumph told.
Our common mother rests anu sings
Like Ruth among her garnered
sheaves;
Her lap is full OF goodly things.
Her bsow is bright WITH autumn leaves.
y favors old, yet ever new.
. blessings with the sunshine sent!
HE bounty overruns our due
The fullness shames our discomfort.
We shut our eyes, the flowers bloom on
We murmur, but the corn ears ELL;
We choose the shadow, but the sun
That casts i, shines behind us still.
COO gives US with our rugged soil
The power TO make il Eden fair,
And richer fruit 20 crown our toll
Than Summer.wedded islam ds bear.
Who murmurs at his lot to-day?
Who seorns his native fruit and bloom.
Or signs for dsinties far away.
BESIDES The bounteous board OF home .
Thank Heaven, instead, that freedom
!. arm
Can change rocky soil to gold;
That bravo and generous lives can
warm
A cline with Northern ices cold.
And by these affairs wreathet; with flow.
ers,
And fields Of fruit, awake again
Thanksgiving for the golden hours,
The early and the latter rain.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1879-07-25

THE WEEKLY sun for 1879 will retain al
the favorite features of former years and supple
ment them with :resh attractions II will b,
pre-eminen,ly paper for the fsmily and fire.
eide, combining literary with. news excellence
and meeting the requirements Of the farmer q;
well as the business man.
special feature will be its correspondence
which will embrace interesting and Instructive
letters from regular correspondents in Europe
ne we'll as America, and 'iis Washington Bureau
will continue 20 report everything of i'm por-
tance in national politics and affairs
The News OF the Week, carefully sifted and
condensed from the. full telegaphic and ma
reports, will be always given, special attention
being paid 20 matters of home concern and in.
terest.
II is the aim OF the Publishers, in the field OF
Literature 10 give in quick succession Original
and Selected Stories Of pleasing and whole
some character avoiding narratives Of grea,
length and sensational favor.
The Agricultural Department will az hther.
to, supply the Agricullurist with practical 10
formation, prepared expressly for this Journal,
concerning the management OF the Farm Gar.
den, Orchard and Dairy.
In point Of completeness and reliability the
Market Reports will maintain their present hig b
reputation. giving the ruling prices for Live
Stock, Flour, Grain, Provisions and all kim Dis
Of commodities, and equal care will be taken
with the Financial Reports.
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TERMS AND PREMIUMS TO CLUBS.
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With one extra copy of the Weekly Sun
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with an extra copy of the Weekly sun
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six rnonths.
Thirty Copies, $50 90
With an extra copy Of the Weekly sun
End one copy OF the Daily san year.
lGS- For full terus and premium copies 10
ge,ter up o. Clubs, see prospectus in THE sun.
Daily and Weekly aud in the BALTIMORE
SUN ALMANAC for 1879, valuable publca-
ton enlarged TO seventv-two pages, free 20 all
suhscribets to the BALTIMORE sun Daily
and Weekly.
The safest method Of transmitting funds nv
mail is by draft, check or Postofice money order
Specimen copies mailed on receipt Of three
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a. s. ABEL & co.
Sun Iron Building,
Baltimore, Md.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1879-07-25
SUNDAY SCHOOL PICNIC.

BY u union of the two Methodist
Churches Of this town, it is proposed to
hold, at the Sulphur Spring, near Mr.
Pancakes, on Saturday the Goth of July,
a Basket Picnic. Transportation will
be furnished for the members of the
Schools. Those desiring to attend Will
meet at the NJ. Z. Church South at half
past O'Clock in the morning. 1t is ex-
pected that the Romney Brass Band will
favor us with their presence.
The COMMITTEE.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1879-07-25
Bn1tin10re Daily Sun,

THE PEOPLES EXPONENT INSTRUCTOR
ENTERPRTSING AND INDEPENDENT.
The Baltimore DAILY SUN, By i,s faithful
adherence throughout it's whole career 10 sound,
conservative principles. aud by tho enterprise
and liherality which it has constantly employed
IN procuring news. has established for itself a
reputation in the front rank OF journalism
This standing it IL determined 20 maintain, and
give. by the ample means which IL commands
for the purpose, In condensed and thoroughly
readable form, all the News Of the day up 10
the hour Of publication.
In politics THE SUN naturally adheres to the
position which IL las always held with univet-
sal approval Of National, Independent and
G Conservative paper. The suns Correspondence
covers the FIVE great cities Of London. Paris,
New York. Washington and San Francisco, In
addition 70 cverv point Of interest ia Maryland
and adjacent Si1tes, snd ts Washington Bureau
furnishes the most accurate accounts OF all that
OCCURS ~ the National Capital.
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Jan. 81, 1879. Baltimore, Md
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1879-07-25
WANTED.

FIR 100 900 10 use took premium 10 every
state ~ tIo Union stood the test for seven
years 800 per month easily made selling these
machines Agents sample 90 30 send money
order Or registered letter or send stamp ;or con-
tieuua terms 20 agents. Address
e.. W. FOSTER g. Co,
81 Iacal,e ST., Chicago.
Nov Is7s-I~
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1879-07-25

SOLDIERS wounded or injured can now OBJ
= tain pensions under the new law 20 date
from discharge. Address at once, With stamp,
for Blanks and new soldiers circulars,
W. G. BERINGER e CO.,
Pittsburgh, Pa.
Oldest Claim Agency in the State.
June q, ls79.-im
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1879-07-25
Roinney, July Is, 1879.
Little Cdp0N Pj3-nic

a Basket in hand Picnic and Tour
nament will be held near Barnes Mill.
on Little Capon, on Saturday, the 2nd
day Of August next. All are cordially
invited to attend with their baskets. To
promote the enjoyments of the day, Pro.
fessor Miller, with the Romney Brass
Band, will be III attendance. Perfect
order and decorum will be preserved
Refreshments viii be furnished on the
ground by authority Of the Committee
only, but no intoxicating spirits will be
permitted. Officers Of the law will be
on the ground 10 preserve order. Ad-
dresses by Col MoyEoE and perhaps 9th.
crs. THE COMMITTEE.
July IL, 1879.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1879-07-25
THE
Scientific .ADaeric0n,
Thirty-FO Year.
I ii T.


The os, Popular Scientific Paper in the World
Only So 20 Year, including Postage. Week
ly. 81 Numbers year. 1000 book pages.
TOT
The Scientific American is q large First Glass
Weekly Newspaper of Sixteen Pages printed
in the most beautiful style, profsssly iinstrated
,r'h splendid en2yarssgs representing the newest
Inventions aud the most recent Advances in the
Arts aud Sciences including New and in ,eress-
ing Facts in Agriculture, HORTICULTURE, the
Home, Health, Medical Progress. Social Science.
Natural History. Geology, Astronomy. The
most valuable practical papers, by eminent wri
tiers in all departments Of Science, will be found
in the Scientific. American.
Terms, SO 20 per year, 81 GO half year, which
inclnees postage. Discount to Agents. Single
copies, tea cents. Sold by all Newsdeaiers. Re-
mi, by postal order to MUM h Co, Publish.
ers, 81 Park Row, New York.
PATENTS. With IL tho ss' ssisss,,
Of American and Foreign Patents. hare had "a
years experience, and now have the largest es-
adjustment n the world. Patents are obtnued
on the beet terms. special notice is made In
the ScSHfifc Americun Of all Inventions patent
ed through this Agency, with the name aud re-
sidence o. the Patentee. BY the immense circu-
aton thus given, public attention IL directed TO
he merits Of the new patent, and sales or intro
dueiioa often easily effected.
Any person Who has made n new discovery or
Invention, can ASCERTAIN, free of charge, whs Their
a patent can probably be obtained, nv writing
10 the undersigned. We also send ysRE our
Hand Book sbont the Patent Lave, Patents
Caveats, Trade Marks. their costs. ard how pro
cured, with hints Tor procuring advances or in
ventious. Address for the Paper, or concern
ing Patents
MUM & CO.,
81 Park Row, New York
Branch Of'cecor. r nth sta, Washing ton, D. O.
Nov. %, is7s.-3t.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1879-07-25

THE undersigned. having perrs,.,o,
l. ted IN Rvmney, offers fnr sale he
ing agricultural implements, &c
Steam Engines. portabls and s,a,i,,,.,
Celebrated Traction Farm Engine \, \
Cooper Co. Pony Circular SawmiI, r..
ing Machines, Turbine Water Wac -
h Respers, Hose Hay and Grain Rsk., y \
Center Draft, Clover Bullers, Grain ~. ~
Ky Cuitivators, Flows Pan Fe.i MI. ~,
Mile, Corn Shelters. Fodder Cu,;rrs H..
Cattle Scales, &c, &c.
Also. Agent for Hampshire, Mue-,, n.
Counties, for the Best Fertilizers on N. 80
Pure Animal Matter, win Rasssil CO ~
mer's Choice. A'so, anything IN ", la =,
for and JON shall be supplied prort,r "a :
the most reasonable terms. Terms n 49, \
times and TO meet competition.
Every implement warranted 10 gir,.,s.,
ton. Give me call before pu.chs,,, -
where.
GEO. w. SHOCKgY
49,, Agss
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1879-07-25

a subscriber in the country takes
his pen in hand 20 let US know that the
other evening he pas sed a young couple
IN buggy, the young man sitting on
the girls lap. aud che sing ing Baby
Nine He thinks the song Was very
appropriate under the circumstances.
YARS BY Sur LovINGoop. bav.
often heard, but never before published
the following yarn on Dr. Thompson. of
Atlanta, generous, a good man, and n
tiptop landlord and wit but he certain.
ly caught it once.
traveller called very late for break
fast, and the meal had to be hurriedlv
prepared. Thompson, feeling that the
Feed was not quite up to the mark.
made all sorts Of apologies all around the
cater, who worked on in silence, never
raising his head, or by an act even ac-
knowledging the presence Of mine host.
This sulky demeanor rather "nea'd' the
doctor, who, changing the range of his
battery, stuck his thumbs in the arm
holes in his vest, expanded his chest bv
robbng the room of half its air,aud said:
Now, Mister, dod durn me if | hain't
made all the apology necessary, an more.
too, considering the breakfast and who
gets it; and now l tell you have seen
dirtier, worse looking, and darned sight
smaller breakfasts than this, several
times"
The weary, hungry one meekly laid
down his tools, swallowed the bite. in
transitu, placed the palms of his hands
together, and modestly looking up at the
vexed and tuning landlord, shot him
dead with the following:
"ls-what -you-say-trse ?"
"fes, sir" came with vindictive
promptness.
Well, then, I'll be darned, boss, if
you hain't out-travelled me !"
The fellow had nothing to paw at that
house.
IHE SERMON AND THE SHIRT.--While
on the subject Of sermons, cannot re.
sist repeating It conversation between
friend and his farm servant, which illus
trates the remark made, that an Irish
man is rarely at loss for reply or an
excuse.
'"That was q good sermon, was il not.
that we had last Sunday ?" said the gen,
tleman.
"Ihrue for you, yer honor an ILL.,
CANT wan ! 1t done me power o. good
intirely."
I'm glad of that. Can you tell me
what particularly struck YOU? What
was it about p
ooh, we'll scratching his head, 81
don't rightly-not jus, exactly know.
l-a-l-a- where's the use in telling
lies? Sure, don't remember one SIM
gle individual word of it, good or bad.
Sorra bit of me knows what il was
about at all
And yet YOU say it did youa power
of good'r'
80 it dill sir. I'll stick to that"
he said
Il don't see how"
well, now, yer honor, look here.
There's my shirt that the wife is after
washing and clean and white it is. by
reason Of al the water and the starch
that's gone through it. But not drop