davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1879-02-01
IMPORTANT TO IMPORTERS.

tnrnIrfnc f:rrtatn 1lc.crintfona I'D Nferc,nn,
~" "
-...... USE
Tito Treasury Department having adopted
as...,.,s,'.s ~, .-,s..',t. ,,,..,.a t,.s, 49,.
acse''ntlohs ol 1ae'eha"u!se 'n'poEteu h'to thc
United 8totcs, tllc following letters which have
~. y! s"e 'o", VA, '"], I.-I"'
Collector VI Lustoms. WILL bc ot interest," to the
,.rn,c. .r,,u,.~.,n,r,,xa vop c,,.vn..
.N'o''" 'A.o@'"np'A'osa "l ~" ..,s ~
TNEA4uMf DEPARTMENT., utt- y. lhIa.--Jfs
Eaifft Sfnffs dppFdtsfr. Ato 1orf-Sin: This
Department nnts FeceIfeh yoHt !etteF q! tne auth
nlt.t in which YIN cali attention TO its decision Of
Aptfl 20. 1878 tSynouss IL !'O). IN FeIstt0h to Ad.
daunA fof charges On invoice, when such charges
, 1879-02-01

E4Ht1NHdH [nR7sHeFc7N7 t3Hd Et0.l
The roof OF the Capitol At Washington will
rattlc like an empty wagon-bcd behind r,l.,.
away team, and the tloddess Of Liberty viii
liAncs All Irish jtg on the dome. when those two
giants, Logan a1u! Voorhees,, shaae their mangs
aud plugs headlong iuto each otlcr. Earll ono
feels TINT tho cntire Unttrd statcs and large
portion OF Europo arc brcathlrsaly awa walting thu
dreadful cs,uaiet. Just wnat tbs ax.it wit! bs
about, nobody sce1ll& to Know. t1ne "a mcHI-
ber of fthe Republican party ul the otller vi the
Democratic; but thc personal platforms upon
which they stnlnl could bo slipped from uudcr
ilrIr feet aml exchanged, a.tl neither would 10
able 10 realize that any cauuec had bccn u,ale.
, 1879-02-01
Southern Claimants.
Ffar fttt Ft1Hrane fKen-1.

In face Of tlw wc1lknown facta IN Was!,ipy.
ton, ilia tolk Of t!lr Southern papers IL an,....
my. or the claims which hare bcr, paiJ al.
rrady 1t IL Gnfr to 4aY tlat two dollars lIas gutc
~ an cx-!sebel where one iias gone to thr "trat.
ors, spies. Or llnrs," who we're loyal to the EtI.
lon, And 1t Ia very remarkable tint the nen.-
ocEaltc Congressman Of t1lc Hos,th hl,ulId be
"eolid =" In favor of iht payment 0t claI.na nf
men who are regarded at the kt,,th q. dlesplt'-
ablo creatures. Gr,. Bragg tnuy congratulate
himself that bis shtt hit thr 1narA, uf.d hf'
will 10 well to hold hta battery ready for
action.
, 1879-02-01

ntnetr.ninc cases ont Of hundred, OF Radical
sympathIxera, Of traitors hul sptcs. IN the midst
OF the Southern Conledcrncv, or else OF men
who cared neither for the Union nor tic Con-
fcdcrscy, and men simply looking after their
own interests, contcmptib'c creatures. whose
on1y aim WAS To shane their eotrac 4. to win.
M mnttcr which side came uppernost. Tie
reward tl,rsc wretcc. for thslr v''Iianv, !'st to
reward them at tl!c expense Of better
men. who, having lost thefF all in tie
ssrrce d ,hsir country, ,'s mn:t tr1,n ,f"m
whtci. t!c money IN tnkrn 10 pay there clsitns.
I'ot4lbly there are men In tle south WIN we're
loyal In fIcart nn deed to tfc Union, hut II .o
tie reward shonfd mol be ehargeablc upon tf''
III which men ntNl wotncn loyal to t!,r south
were abo to pass through thr War without any
npcn hostility peaintt Tie Federal Government.
Hut. AS before tuId, in nfnrty-nfne eaacs nut "E
liars, nml tlnrc II III crrt1sc for Southern
1lcnorrnt adyucatln4 them, except tint ts'c
,uoncy will indirectly benefit his tcrtion by bc-
Ing sIlent there"
sweet yror'is for the Northern urrthren-
.rt,e 1rtsaat 7J,ats ffvm,).
RfagU, Of Wisconsin, kcema to I'LL q want
long felt. What the country has needed. long
aud sadly, Is an artistic standard by which 10
,nessure Idiots. and bragg comes forward With
kHC uTklC1c- ~ HOslltl b9 WtEiCaitpf " kSh VII
,ise inside nj pcrton like bragg, or tn tio him
sh lie Printing Committee wanted to do with
firrcn, towit: turn him wrongside out and
ncrutc hin tnharls. Of course ,ltut IL not pfac-
tEcatle. Tic world cah simply gaze tlpon BraxE
with respectful nn,axcmrnt. and request him IL
give ue kn.nc reasonable excuse for Its exist
Uncc. Bragg, however, Is Sottheru Democrat.
typical Northern Democrat. l}r l,clouzs to
thnt ANAL but clierky gnng of nt'icli ihe late
Mr.. Holman ami iho carir Sir. aanlstc1 Randall
ase representatives. ljfauE IA. no doubt, Ure Of
the patrots who ilowcd for wur null The oll
AaE, "n encouraged l,tt ncIgiat,orA to go So,lth
u.nl siay Rebels, md Invested In Substitutes.
| VIC think wc knuw the knFl Ut person BsnrR lx.
anu n?ncuh here In ilc vacant spaces OF tl,c thing
he calls his mini t!lrrr I!uats nebu1ous rccot.-
| milton Of thu same nature. II Bragg tllfnft
| fu!t lltnsc!: to h. MI ats. le wouldn't hava
bra!ett 10 loul. If he ba.in't understood that
ncthlnE he ta!i wuNld hare till. stnalekt int1,l-
cnen npon anv intelligent being, he wonId nrycr
have lud his enrs bac; M,ni uttered tl1at frnlish
roar. But llrayG cnlnts ,hr license usually
extended 70 loo1s, and hv k'lows 1t, Nn'l makes
| The most oftt
, 1879-02-01
a itcv1yr.l Southern lS~reay.

E0{7tH 1HEFHH4 1ETE.J.
As Of gore, the Southern leaders now como 10
thu front ugain Alt DECLARE tl,ut tue Federal
Government Is myth. Fortunately they have
given the country timely warning. Tie North
at ono time might hsye accepted this doctriur,
but kncc 1871 ynst majority oI its pcuplc lIavn
eo hrMly rs,llr to thr conclusion TINT li1 United
Statcs s nattout a,nl tint The Federal tiuyern-
mcut has positive powers, that atlcy viii oppp.e
10 this reviycd e0ntllcrn heresy tho c1npl,al!.;
opinion of united setitun.
, 1879-02-01
"Ia,yalty" iu the Houth.

It IL true that thrse was very llttls loyalty u
#. tho South during the War. Ninety nina oue.
Auudreths ot tho white peopis-snru, women,
mid ch!ldrcn-were in hearty sympathy with the
Confederate Government, anIl therefore hostilp
to tue Union. Now, the only pcrsons who pre-.
sent Wss-rlalns are tl,oso who assert TINT try
wcra loyal tu tho tauyernmeIn OF the United
Statcs. Consequently. thu many hare uo syn,
pa,hy with these fcw, AMI cars nothing lor their
cases, Tie South ran kearvely b u solid ~ ios
tbs purpose OF iepicttn1 the 1rea&ury u pay tic
dcnius,Is Ut those whu were considered &aitors
10 selr section whru struggling fur IT. epeal-
gpce. To supposu ,uch Thing would tu tu
suppose Tint lie kcoutllcau party Ut tllr Aurth
deeply sYsup4thlzrs viii tht EupIerl.eads III
ludlana u1nt Pennsylvania whu sustained peru,
u ~ lun.aae. VI ,lt: lal.us Il .Cuutcdgrstr sol
turA
, 1879-02-01

Utmphfs ftfnn,} drai1n@1t f|rd.l,
Mr. Hendricks tntfn,ntcs-ot!y ntlt,ates mind
you-tlnt Mr.. Tilden has been injured By the
cipher icIcrrasns. II our memory le not ut
fault. tie Names OF buth Mcssr.. Tien antt
Hendricks have been mentioned in manner not
entirely urconncctcd with ll,c Presidency.
, 1879-02-01

Juelsonrjft tf1a.l EninH t!tnt.).
We bavo no hcsstaucy In sastng that the pres-
cnt Legislature OF Florida owr It to themselves
md TO tt,r constituency they represent to 80 fix
It TINT II will he Impossible to carry Florida fur
Republican President IN 1850. The Opposition
may sct up lInwl. but tllt. occurrences OF lilc
plst fow weeks should attmpnseh thu people Uf
Florida that their first duty In to make sure VI
4 proper representation whllo they can do 30
without let or hindrance.
, 1879-02-01

TN OnDEN TO ACCOMMODATES uUf: NUMEROUS
] ptIroEs itfnughort the rltf We have e~tah3strd
bfanrh ntcr4 10 ihc different nysionk - d'slxnatrd
r!re - charged Al tr a!n ttirr. and wilt bc received
h, o'corf p. III, turing the week. &nd until =;
on Saturday,:
=: II: W&LHES. Scx.ic.tcr. sssttauer. ETC.. lots'
l,IlEE:r Ttii;tEN>iHN,. Meet side Hrws ucnst.
llt!tr ttand.ar.. !aratt Of ilsl*t'a.sE
II. E. lItHftiih. Jrwe!rr, Sewtdealer. sud t&ncT
tinHHA TN Ill nrQn.
, 1879-02-01

NdNE1 (N77.J K11 HfF t7VM.t,
The cipher dispatches do mt prove that Tilden
was not fairly elected President. They sttnply
st,uT That there were a number of tnetlt!iins
asses Offering their services where they we're not
needed. And In d manner not asked for nor
. wanted by men tn authority.
, 1879-02-01
VA. a.


frAshtHgson Republican tKtp.1.
The initials 4. G. in acnator Thurmnn's name
do not, 40 We arc informed BY Western cx-
change, stand for Andy iack.on-illry don't
spell H. that way nny mar. They NAV, bow-
ever, sand for Agile t}rccnhackcr, Of, It, rharac-
terlzatloh Of Ills red bsndanu, for Absunant
uoufafnn.
, 1879-02-01

1SgFA6HF9 7f3ff1Nbh {NFH.E
To secure tho passnge. Of his bill, Wright
should hayc made tl,e amount fasRc., With no
provision for repayment, iii wh.cl, cure tlle Cur.
rent OF emigration Westward would have been
80 strong rs IL leave Congress Without quorum
In less titan q week.
, 1879-02-01

With Carpenter, Logan, Chs,ulsrr. Voorhees,,
an1 Vest in the Senate ltiere Is no particular
reason why Romp should not he tnstie to howl.
Theirs is certainly the n,nteFtal ttHre for so1nc-
thing energetic In the way Ut osatory.
, 1879-02-01

Au1U1a Hf.} JoRrn1' tHfp}.
The speech Of Mr. Ellis, Of Louisiana, ought
TO be held up before every Democrat IN the land
tiut he might there set nn,l rc,ld what sort VI
party he Is connected With, II he docs not al.
ready know.
, 1879-02-01


Sitting Bull wishes to return tn The United
States. Is It becat,sc his native modcs.y WAS
shsxkcd ut thc low-nccke,t rolcs Of the Caua,lian
Courti We pausc for MI answer.
, 1879-02-01

IN ~. column. th,f< 'fsts sr tts* ~ ren's mr. In
As.lon. karA na.i,'I"naf tn.. to cents
E; Ct SH :,,a. u. ssssss; Es.k s..:
a fss'.f IL ss III =:
] viii III, aSsa
i TnAvTLtvt., sAlrsNAN WISHES soHE
~ Es.' s s'HS<tz = fis ,s'ss
n!; .;f:s A.; fsi:: &. nSs! ;9.
fuqs,Ss ,N,r- Ht.!:,.nlEss 81 ty.srl'!!! ES:
a s sS m T.: N 4 IT.. M s.;,s ta ;,a.,.
L. +. MAKfIS. ~ I'D 1t; siatc.hi.
,As. *u,, t.,,:I a.; tEss, fs sInH r.
7sI,er s lid ts,,ss .,sh,'. Iii "s'i stadis"n'H. M
:st Sa,s r,"a: ss.o En hi;S;. MSTn c;E f
Orlgr .touE Fot: LsI,KS pI!:ISH 9,s G9STisE: E
Ii. sGssf p.s Il IL. u,
GMok;; IxrYgl.s oEni,sAt. l'9osrNIAi: cIf,A.
= 'r!ss AZ r sa{s saa pte,ra'Eon Of cttsrh. a''a.
'A''E" ''SFH :'$Sssif 1$S ssit!f,' 1ggx eeGs; P;,,.
" , .s @ ss e: :S e .e IL
&; a's'i 44s + ~ :sa s :s III: 'F''s
iE ';'ssdh;sAssS 81 AS rtSs1 NIT
Farshseisirs I'll raeeicd. sued fot cirrulss.
WASHING. MACHINES. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS,
~ slAFrhH.. .fnsrhinrr. r'taT FnalnK' iAtchnrs.
hy 4. ii. 4 l.. AUSlEis TO-. dos shAAh'ar. send
for rAt4iUHnt,
SJ,A>Ttn-TO Buy FOR esEH A sTuCK Or
" kre"rte. IN turn of Htt les !ian Wv !nliaI-
I4ntA In Wlaronsn, a,nnrspta. 1r SnIthsr4 Hnott.
Aldl,As Riitux bartrmiafa. u. y. WAf1Eles +, q.
BOY Ias& birlrn. .
IVASTEn-nv ( CIGAR sALESMAS. AN AD-
IItli4l linn 0f KuDtls C0t,nltsAln for AIEtAars,
knnAa. and lsNLnfa4n AIIrte. U % IttLI1n utact.
, 1879-02-01

afF'p
Gen. Buffers power of eclf-rcstrant t.as been
undcrcsttnated. lie has had G4l cipher dl..
patches In hta possession f,r nearly rear, mil
Is just now beginning to take an Interest in them.
, 1879-02-01
CURRENT OPINION.



rtImor gains currency that Mr.. Samuel J.
T,ldep will, at tho proper moment, exert prc<.
sure on the Fnncufl 1fntl Democracy III farur uf
Gcn. Butler's 0ubcrfatu7i.I candidacy.
, 1879-02-01

NuFl4ston Is e. Ssns tDtm,).
Southern csims, 50 called, aro not HRcbel" p"
claims. On tho contrary. ucy are tho claIlus, 10
, 1879-02-01

6EW4hG a4ACA41NE4s
hIEW AND SECONDHAND 61k1k1tS AND OTIiK!I
N rfsl taAs nIAehlneA VI 0on'thrl value. Lp44 VI
nce, Is C!stk'&t.. up 'stAts. ItttIA =
, 1879-02-01

order to Capt. Brutccn the latter lispatchtd
him back to Capt. McDougall viii! orders to
fsr M Gsul,Ia't. NsiiGer Cspt. Bsntsen nsr CAPT:
Meuuugall tald anything when they received
their urIcrs. Capt. Dc,ltcen's conInla.ld was
trottfng when NitHets nIct hiint but he hurried
delt,ennG biz order to Capt. MeDouge1! hs ~
purtcd back to Ills COMPANY, which wusWith Cnpt.
Acutusn, aud rciusiued with It. After they got
to thu bill, It wss about alteen tnlnutes before
cams ur,-at'out IN hour aud . half after .',4t,
t,ls Whole comauaud started to mtys down sto
ttfeaHa... Witness was appointed a orderly u
Capt. Beutern. lle did nut sec any troops
down: Could not rscolIest .hat co5'pauy wa
ahead when ihe5 n'oEetl domu. Capt West
moved down With ihu colunu, but sttctwsnl
to0k lis company, went down lIttle ways ~
IL k 's fl ess esttsF r. f. " ioAsas ssss
colulng back irusn Custer, ulnl they were right
" top Of them before thsJ knew 1t. They dit!
not 70 dow u into Inc raYue, ~ that would have
bssn Aurs dc;se .ley vert ,;r. Gask UPON .l il!
gushing tl.em back. lie saw Heno tl.at 'uy
when they took taieis position At the corral; did
nut ace l'.ln any muse ti'at DAY, ~ be had Ia
n!sht. n md ressiSei ordyts Tor hin e. SOUND
reyvilie at | ocIots 'n tue morning. liz saw
sir. Gilbert then toOk the witness, ulll asked
hlll 3 uu1HbGE VI quektlobat 10 winch tAU Alk'
ness replied that 1t Was about II o'elork when
Ls iirss saw tho Indian village. le described
liz situation BY tIxiux the poluts upon I shs map,
where liz turned back with C9stes's order,
Capt, bentcen lie sal cutteF's tomuia,Al
M about Vt, hour uul half ln xGttiax " the
o,acs from wblrh thc village was seeu, moving
d q gallop and truI. lie did uot walt With
Adiutaut Cook tor tAt dispatch more th2a t&ll
minutcs before he turned back. When hs a2w
Keuo 1ght!pg, 1t ~as Just about VI
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-10-01
A Terrible snake story

"Pshaw. thst's not much of snake
story" ne said, throwing down the
Cincinnati Commercial. "Why,
when / was a boy-ob, little fellow,
say about 30 high was out in the
woodshed one day. II was hot and /
was bsrefooted, and had short sleeves
that left nv arms bare Lying in the
sun was what thought to be beau
tiful switch stick, 1.-THE and timber,
about three feet long. STOPPING down
hastily. I picked it up"
Gracious. gracious, and your arms
naked, too.v
II threw it down quick as fash
"Did IT bite p
"Bitez What do you think il
was ?"
"a rattlesnakc or anaconda. or
something Of that sort"
at was 1.-THE and timber, as / knew
TO my agony. 1t was the stick that
my father had licked seventeen kinds
of sin out of me with that morning
Graphic.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-10-01

avs the New York Wi.ness /.

Says the New York Witness:
Many life has been lost because
the left hand was neglected. The
large majority Of men do not use
1.-THE Of the power they possess. Their
talents are mostly in napkin. Oae
of the wealthiest men in Wall street
to-day broke down in business good
many years ago. He went into an
Office where be was acquainted, aud
said to the members of the firm that
be had no bread for his family. 'I'm
ready to go messages for you, or per-
form any other servicen He hung
up bis coat there and commenced
work around the lowest rung in the
ladder. Previously this mans check
was accepted anywhere in the street
You may be sure such man gradu
ally mounted up. Over in Boston q
likeminded man fell out He was
without bread, and soon would be
without shoes unless be walked up
and stirred his energies. He was
bookkeeper, and at one time earned q
handsome salary. What did be do !
This be did: He took cotton-hook
and went dowa TO the wharf 10 load
and unload cotton al so much an
hour. Behold, another man with
grit. The owners Of the cotton and
the ship eyed this hero. Soon the de-
cree went forth, Come up higher"
He resumed the quill aud laid aside
the cotton hook. Discoursgement
never weakened the Boston boy
Winners with hanging lips and chick
en-hearts; who cure their troubles
with the bottle or the pistol, are pitt
fol creatures who should never have
been born
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-10-01

Can't you? If you only knew how
long l have loved you, think you
would
He waited patiently but she made
no answer
A moment more be bent over her
and kissed ner, while she slyly kissed
him in turn.
So before long there was we'd
ding, and the world of Applebow
went to church to witness it, and q
few wondered "wbat Miss Lee could
see in Dan," and others whispered,
"how well be looked, and how happy
be seemed"
And young Morris-now engaged
to plain Miss Green, who had the
most money-shut himself up that
day with his cigars. under plea Of
a bad toothache, and was in no pleas
ant mood for long days after.
As for the brief courtship, it vas
not repented of at leisure, for if there
was happy couple and happy
home they were 10 be found at the
farm-now happy and
homelike as mortal dwelling NAV be.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-10-01
Why She Took a shawl.

About a week ago some young la
dies got up party to go on moon
light excursion up the Passaic river.
The night finally arrived and the
moon flooded field and river with a
glow of pearly richness.
When the party was ready to leave
the house which had been appointed
az the rendezvous, Il was noticed
that one of the most charming young
ladies Of the coterie had q shawl
on
What's the matter, Lucy ?" asked
one young lady; "sre you afraid Of
taking cold ?n
mo, no." she replied.
Perhaps you are troubled with
malaria ?" suggested young man,
who was struggling to direct bis vi
tslity into a mustache.
IL never have malaria replied the
pretty creature with q smile OF gum-
dropstiveness.
"The thermometer is up at Sc. .
you'll roast to death if you wear
that shawl"
"I'm willing to roast" she said,
pettishly
Don't vou know why she wears
that shawl? - laughed her little broth
er, as be wiped some taffg of his
mouth with his coat sleeve.
"You keep still, you John Henry"
said the dear angel, as she turned a
trifie red.
The boy then got out of reach and
yelled
an tell you why she wears that
shawl When she gets cut on the
river Bob puts his arm under it and
hugs her, and nobody can see through
the game"
Then there was scene. John
Henry was summarily sent to bed,
and the party started for the scene of
festivitY.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-10-01
Determined Candidate.

One of the Providence City Hall
officials fonnd an unknown woman
psrsding Up and down the lower
corridor, and upon inqriring wheth-
er she was looking for anybody, she
replied
Il rather think / am. / want TO
be ianitor. of the City Hall"
But no woman can secure such q
POSITION, Madame
why not ?n size grimly inquired.
why, how could q woman get
along here among such O crowd oi
men? 1t would be very embarrsss-
ing to say the least"
They'd sneer at me, would
theyz"
"0f course they would"
"And then what would do?''
"You could do nothing, madam 2"
II couldn't eh, After / had took
one or two Of them bv the necktie,
ike this, and janned 'em through
the wall like this, l guess they would
shut up wouldn't they ?"
Picking up his hat which had been
jostled OF by the shock, and hanging
it TO the loose ends Of his collar, be
replied:
$50 for the once, madam: yon shall
have all nv influence
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-10-01

One Of the School Board Inspec-
tors asked small pupil of what the
surface Of the earth consists, and was
promptly answered.
Land and water
He varied the question slightly
that the fact might be impressed on
the boys mind, and asked
What, then, do land and water
make ?" To which came the immedi-
ate response
Mud
'1s there any one distinctive trsi.
or function possessed by man exelu-
siveIy ?D asked Professor X. CT the
members Of the Sophomore clsss-
"Yes be talks
$50 does the parrot"
He walks erect" quickly respoad-
ed another member.
$50 do the chimpanzee and kanga-
roo"
nHe thinks, reasons"
$50, it is believed. do horses aud
other animals.-
"He lo=es, hates
Faculties given to Gods lowest
is well as highest creatures"
"He weeps," said big beaded
youth who had not spoken before
"Ahi" exclaimed the professor,
rabbiag his hands, Il think you have
il. He weeps-"
$50 does q mule, sir" said slow
boy at the foot Of the class
"A mule .D
YES, sir,r answered the boy II
was reading crly to-day about the
weather being 50 cold that the mule
teers were nearly frozen on the tow
path Of the canal"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-10-01
Novel mode Of Packing Flowers.

Choice flowers are sent across the
continent from California by a novel
method, which is described as fol.
lows: A large potato Of California
variety, the largest in the world, was
cut in two and part Of the pulp
scooped out of the centre of both
pieces. Into the halves were laid
the Occidental bloom and the po.
tato was joined together again with
"trip of thin paper about the edges.
The moisture from the potato kept
the Covers fresh during their journey,
and their color was as beautiful on
reaching their destination as when
FIRST plucked- The odor, however,
was gone from the flowers, snd they
gave forth . decidedly 'Potatoish'
scent. We presume q scooped-oot
pumpkin would answer the purpose
equally ss well, and afford greater
room for storage.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-10-01
Becoming Rich by Accident.

The Pittsburgh Telegraph tells the
following story. which it says is re-
liable:
During an excursion from this
city 20 Niagara Falls, and while at
Cleveland, an incident occurred which
will never be forgotten by those who
heard Of it. The kennard House at
that city was crowded with guests,
when an eccentric and witty drug
gist Of Smithfeld stree. appeared,
late at night, at the hotel Office and
demanded a bed The clerk replied
that there were only two vacant beds
in the house, one, wherein was quar-
tered q Pittsburgh morning newspa-
per man; and the other, in room
wherein was Pittsburgh evening
newspaper man, who were with the
excursion. To tell the truth, they
are both pretty drunk, SC you may
take your choice as to which room
you viii sleep in The druggist ssid
that on general principles he would
take his chances with the evening
journalist. as they excelled the morn
ing men in more ways than one, and
be would doubtless be so drunk that
be would lie dormantly quiet all
night. He went TO bed and was soon
sound asleep. The journalist, how
ever, awakened about 12 O'Clock, snd
thinking it a long time between his
drinks, dressed himself 1Deonsciously
ia the druggists clothes. and sailed
out to make night Of it. Ever and
anon be mut.ered as be treated al
present Funniest thing I lever heard
Of When | went to bed last night ]
only had twenty-five cents 10 my
name, and now I've got over hun
dred dollars Showing corpulent roll
Of bills), and I'm bound TO spend it
all before morning He did"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-10-01

sores. rheumatism, Neuralgia, Pain IN
the Bones, Side and Head. Female
Weakness, Sterility, Leueorrhea, arising
from internal liberation. and Uterine
disease, Syphilitic aud Mercurial dis
eases, Dropsy, Dyspepsia, Emaciation,
General Debility, and for Purifying the
Blood.
This Sarsaparilla is combination Of
vegetable alternatives - Stillingia, Man.
drake, Yellow Dock with the Iodides
of Potassigin and Iron, and Is the most
efhcacions medicine yet known for
the diseases 1t is intended TO cure.
Its ingredients are so skilfully COM
bined. that the full Alternative effect Of
each is assured, and while It is so mild
as to be harmless even to children, it IS
still so effectual as 10 purge out from the
system those impurities and corruptions
which develop into loathsome disease.
The reputation it enjoys is derived
from its cures, and the confidence which
prominent physicians all over the coun-
Try repose in it, prove their experience
OF its usefulness.
Certificates attesting It's virtues have
4CcAIiul1tcl- .AA-A eAlc C~AeD-Altf N[aAa-
received. ard as many Of these cases are
publicly known. they furnish convincing
evidence ii the superiority OF this sar-
saparilla orer every other Alternative
medicine. 50 generally is its superb
oritv u any other medicine known. that
We need DO no more than 70 assure the
public that the best qualities 1t has ever
possessed are strictly maintained.