The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1879-12-20
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.
East time--Lent.

We give II up--The breath OF life.
The fuel of the futurc-Brimstone.
A bows whistle is often sucked tin.
Sheet mus,c--Children crying In bed.
A go.as.you- please race-The women
Unseen happiness--A kiss In the dark.
Looking up-The astronomers business.
Whatsoever a man seweth that shall he also rip
"What is it, doctorg"-"Twins. "By Gemi
nil"
II was not Joe Bradley who stole Hayes's mes
sage, though he stole the presidency for him.
Much squeezed lemons are not much thought
Of Ditto much squeezed girls.
The impression that Franklin drew his light
ming from New Jersey is wrong, quite wrong.
Old bachelors who think there isn't any fun in
counting had better get little calamity.
And now the boys talk OF the Telephone"
brand of cigars, which can be smelled in Lynn
when they arc smoked in Boston,
There's a mistaken providence in some things
in this world. Last week flood in Colorado
drowned 1850 sheep and only one dog.
There was reunion VI tHC oiu uEOyo w
Rochester, ". Y, lately, Nebuchadnezzar, the
original sold Craze" was not present.
Trying to do business without advertising,
sagely observes an exchange, is like winking at
q girl in the dark You may know what you are
doing, but nobody else does.
The air Of Texas is said TO be a sure cure for
rheumatism. Steal q mule after your arrival In
the state, and you will never have any more pains
in your bones.
All the axes and bucksaws found in the ruins
Of Pompeii are OF light make AS il constructed
for women's use Those old ancents knew their
little business Erchdnge.
Foreign dispatches intimate that the Emperor
of Russia does not enjoy good health. Probably
on account Of the Nihilists. Naturally most peo-
pie enjoy good health more than sickness.
The Forristown Herald regards approvngly
The maintenance OF the old custom OF linging an
cid slipper after bride, but holds the practice
cg Eiaging after a would.be s0n-in-law heavy
boo: containing the foot Of girls father as des-
p,csh,e-
Thank you dear Jamie, It's excellent sherry"
SEE .aid, It's refreshing and nourshing, very;
never take water, you know, with my dinners,
Because since the food, it has tasted OF sinners"
--Andre,cs Bdzar
A correspondent writes to a newspaper to in
9uire how to knit a worsted jacket for child
sve years old. The old bachelor who runs the
.tvice department suggests that the knitting
may be the same az for child ten years old.
The Bangor (Msine) Commercial says that after
Winslow Powers had offered old Mr.. Folsom, Of
Stetson, a horse for his vote aud had got the vote
he tried to put the old man off with clothes.
horse. Mr.. Folsom WAS justly indignant and
turned States evidence.
An exchange says Postmaster. General Key is
about to issue an order prohibiting the placing
Of stamps upside down on letters. Several post
masters have recently been seriously injured
while trying to stand on their heads to cancel
stamps placed in this manner
Mianus (Pa) minister, while marrying q
couple recently was rather disconnected ON ask
ing the bridegroom If he was willing to take the
young lady for his welded wife by his scratch
ing his head and saying eyes, rm willing;
but I'd much sight rather have her sister"
A chemist at Detroit has been examining the
water OF that city and finds in 1t 'various species
Of diatoms, such as the Nitzschia curvula, Cyma.
topleura eolea, Cymatopleura elliptica, Stauro-
neis punctata, Plcur0sigma spencerli and RhzO.
solenia Ericnsis." Perhaps this Is what's the
matter with the water Of st. Louis. itlooks like
mud, but II may be seine OF those other things. -
81. Louis Republican,
The old maids Of Sandwich have formed q club
and christened it the "Umzooee." The Ayqus
explains that it is an Indian word and means
,,la
old girls were probably there and frisked with
the young bucks in the jolly days when the wig.
wems Of the gay and festive Lo still adorned the
banks Of the placid SOmOnauk and haven't vet
forgotten the language.
II Is said that when Alexander Stephens goes
TO a theatre the usher always places card In his
lap with the word Taken" so that nobody will
sit down on him IL has been found necessary
since David Davis sat down In an orchestra chair
at a Washington theatre, and after the perform.
ancc they found that Mr.. Stephens was there be.
fore him. or behind him, rather. There ia moth
ing small about Mr.. Davis, howcver.-Feck's Sun.
THE REJECTED LOVER.
Since thou that fatal word hast spoke,
With cruel lip and careless air,
Which breathing o'cr my heart-strngs, woke
folian Roanngs Of despair:
Since that thy naughty sire has turned
An Icy shoulder to my suit
And, while my wasted love is spurned
Threatens this wasted form-to boot;
Avengng fury sres my breast
With wild desire my heart IL riycn
That thou within thy downy nest
Mdyst get as good "a thou hast givenl
Know, then, and weep thy mad dislike,
The blight, whick falls on him and thee
Know that I've made mighty strike
In AtchlSoH q Santa Fe' -Erchdnge.
Curiosity is the mother Of discovery SO says
Sullivan woman.-Sul'pan Progress And dis.
c0very is the mother OF candal-Eankakee Ga
sette And scandal is the mother Of lies-Green.
cAk Sun. And Lie is an orfin and hasn't any
mother. This makes out clear case OF ruin
a. II. q. Sin was the mother OF Lie and the
devil the father, says Milton No "orfnp there