Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-06-20
Hawk-Eyetems.

Dress this spring. AS tnOugh anything
were needed to increase Congressman's
cheek. Nature is extravagant.
Here and there, even in Burlington,
ION will yet find man who bushes
and looks guilty if you ask him very
suddenly if he wears liver pad.
There is eight kinds of suckers native
of Iowa waters, not to mention the va
r;oties that live on dry land and haunt
The free lunch counters of the republic.
There is no excuse for tramps this
renr. If there is nothing else to do
they can organize new Pinafore COM
ranies. That is really the crying need
of the times.
All, do you begin to notice just about
NOW innocent little items. abOnt 'hls
lake and that lake, and the wall-eyed
pike and the plckerel and the black
bass. and the carp and the yellow perch
and the drum heads and bull pout and
things? The summer resorts are he
ginning to tell fish stories.
Times have been so hard in the West
this year that great many people have
been obliged to discount their crystal
and china weddings from three to se' en-
wears. in order to raise the wind ut that
narticular time when financial atmos
pleric disturbance would most happily
and forcibly strike them right where
they lived.
OF thirty-six members of the House
who introduced financial bills Monday.
thirty five are in debt, twenty seven of
the thirty five owe more than they are
worth, and the one OF the thirty six who
isn't in debt at all il mad about it, and
would get in debt mighty quick if lie
could. But he cant. His credit isn't
good enough.
You 20 into a county where two rival
towns are fighting for the county seat,
and you viii. find that the inhabitants
make that struggle the issue in II Pte,i-
Dental election, and the candidate FIR
the highest office in the gift of the ma
ton won't get litary vote in the
east side of the county, if he is sus-
pected Of fsvoring the west side.
Mrs. Walker was one of the best
women in Burlington in her time, but
she was passionately fond of going"
and her friends were never able to find
her at home. Well, she died. Aud
consolation, anyhow. When the,
wanted to call on her now. they would
know where to find her.
"You make me think" John William
said, dropping upon the sofa beside the
pretti-st girl on North Hill, last Sun
day evening, "of a bank wherein the
wild thyme grows" DO II" she
murmured. at is 30 nice, but that is
pas step in the hall and unless you Can
drop out Of the front window before
get through speaking, you'll have II
little wild time with him, ny own, for
he loves you not" But John William
didn't quite make it and now you can
make him grow wild time and time
again by simply asking him whn,
makes him 60 lame when he walks. He
knows, but he won't tell.
RULES OF CONDUCT.
Never exaggerate, ut least don't exag
crate SO excessively as to cause uuuue
remark.
Never laugh at the misfortunes OF
others, save in the isolated instance OF
man struggling between heaven anu
EARTH with only the blue dome Of the
sky above him, and nothing to speak OF
under him, except banana peel.
Never send present, hoping for one
in return. Nine times ont of ten you
will slip up on your expectations
Freeze to the present you buy. You
are dead sure OF that.
Never question your peighbor's SER
wants or children about family matters.
They are liable to flo to you. The best
way is to "snook "arouud and find out
for yourself.
Always offer the easiest seat in the
room to lady or an invalid. A hard
considered about the easiest thing there
is made to sit on. A rocking chair is
Rpt to produce sea sickness.
Never pass between two passengers
who are talking together, without of
ierlng an apology. One of them may
lift you q kick that will raise you
through the pier glass.
Never put fire or warm dry sheets
IN the spare room. It's too awfully i'll
yiting and these are hard times.
Never insult an acquaintance by
harsh words when applied to for u
favor. 1t is just as easy and ever 80
much pleasanter, to lie to him and tell
him You haven't got it. He may know
you are a liar, but he can't deny that
you are a gentleman.
Never fail to answer an invitation
either personally or by letter. Ii it is
an invitation to dinner, by all means
answer it personally. If it is an invita-
ION to wedding or donation party, Il
letter will do just as we'll and is about
Ten times as cheap.
Never refuse to receive an apology.
lou won't be offered one more than
ohre in twenty five years, and you can
Keep them as rarities.
Never thrust your foot out across the
Hlsle IN street car. Somebody laay
Fpit ON it.
CATCHING ANTS. In New Mexico the
GLOWING method of catching ants is
Doth popular and tfficucious few
arge champagne bottles are buried in
Lhe ground, near the entrance to the