The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1879-02-01
VARIETY.

SERMONS N BRrEr By REV. J. J. jenkins
The perfectly cOntcnted man is also perfectly
useless
The ideal saint Of the young moraIist is cut
from mppy timber.
Faith that asks no questions kills the soul and
titles the intellect.
lie who thinks poorly Of himself cannot win
the respect Of bis fellows.
Happy is the man who has neigbbOr willing to
forgive bis mistakes.
Appear to be better than you are, and aim to
be what you appear to be.
The trouble with many Communities Is that
their dead men refuse to be buried.
Only infinite wisdom is able to distinguish the
difference between some men and beasts
In various cities Of Germany boys under lG are
prohibited, under penalty of fine and imprison-
ment, from smoking in public places
Some Of the so-caIled pleasures Of life are like
n piper who plays badly. You give him dime
TO begin and you would gladly give him a
quarter 10 stop, but he won't do it.
The millionaire, Mr.. Arnold, Of New York,
would not let his eighteen year old daughter have
any beaux at all, but whenever she needed an
escort, sent her out with bald-headed old conf
Dental clerk, nearly GO years old. The bald
headed clerk ran away with his employers
daughter, md married her himself.
You can get on with man of hasty temper
by keeping oat OF his way when he Is rufiled.
His mania may be dangerous, but it is spacmO-
die and IN the intervals OF lucidity ne may be
kind and friendly. But Il sullen man had better
be let alone. lie taken i'll when he was
born and he won't get over it till he dies
The Chinese population Of San Francisco has
been lately reported as 30 600, including 900
servants. OF cigar makers there are 5000; OF
tailOrs, 900; Of boot and shOemakers, 5000
laundrymeu, 500 merchants and professional
men, / 900 professional gamblers, 400 ped
dlers . 500 while the rest are fishermen, labor
err and miscellaneous. There are ,OCO women.
ss NV stars - exclaimed the milkman's better
half; . somebody has stolen the milk away"
What Is that2'' eagerly grasped old Prof.
Stnrbird-e the Milky Way stolen Impossible
madam The Milky Way is composed Of count
less billions Of stars, some OF them so far away
that it would take 500 years for their light to
reach And thus the old man drove on as
was his won't when once he got astride his hobby.
Boston Transcript
How SArSrE BEUvE FoUGHT DUEL.-Tbe only
Frenchman I ever heard Of who did n funny
thing at n duel was Sainte Beuve, who, having
10 fight on very rainy morning, persisted IN
holding an umbrella over bis head with his left
hand. In vain did the seconds demonstrate with
him, and tell him that such conduct was out Of
order s'I don't mind being shot," said the
great critic, d" but 1 never came here to get
wet :" and he stood his adversary's fire with his
umbrella waving proudly over his head.-LcH-
don World.
London World .-'' EIegy in an Irish country
ehurch-yard overheard last week. Sorrowing
widow-man has Just erected the invariablc drap-
cd urn in memory Of the late placeHS uTOr TO
him critical old lady, having duly inspected the
same :-' An Iligant monyement, so It is, nor
as nate n patterned water jug as iyer see, and
a cIane white towel repOsin' peaceful like on the
ton av IT, Well, well, its herself was the order
ly woman the heavens be her bed =
Mrs. Churchwoman Ito grocery" Mr.
Strong we are going to have little fair ut our
church. We want TO give our dear pastor an
easy chair, and dresslng-S0wn and one or two
uair OF nice slippers, and his vile dozen tides
and we want 10 buy new organ for the church,
and we expect 70 pay of the church debt-and
what will YOU giye2' Mr.. Strong Would q
little tea or coffee be OF use? l might Mrs.
Ion we bay all tea and coffee at
Pettyman's, across the way. No; but couldn't
you give US ten or twelve pounds Of sugar p
=. Are YOU the saleswoman of whom bought
this handkerchief, yesterday p asked 4 pur-
chaser at one OF our dry goods store. % am
the saIesludy who served you, madam, y respond
ed the reduced Empress iu banged hair. long
watch chain and ringed fingers, who presided at
the counter. - Well said the customer, ''
will take n dozen more, and as | wish to get
them 10 my wnsherlady ut once / will get you TO
send them to my carriage around the corner.
NV eoach-gentleman cannot get to the door just
noyr for the cart Of the ash-gentleman. '-B0s-
ION C0naHlsrciGf Bulletin.
People ought to be careful how they asked
nuesti0us gentleman who suffered terribly
from the heat died. His minister was no;
aware Of the catastrophe, and, meeting the
dau0hter Of his former friend on an August day
ond thinking to have a little banter, said -
- Well, my dear, | hope your mother is well,
and your father-by the way, how does he stand
the heat nowadays?" She was compelled to con-
6sss the truth, that he was dead, and then the
question seemed to the clergyman to be 4 sin
euIarly Inappropriate one.
A sharp little girl once proved that the Ian
1uage OF mathematics was not as exact as II
Should be .. Five from five leaves how many p
was by-aud-by asked Of a bright-eyed miss o
four summers. The little thing up with heI
fingers and went at it. For q time she seemed
exceedingly puzzled, but at length her eye:
snapued, and she listed her head confidently
- Five 80 she said, with most assured emphasis
Cnrious 10 know how sne had arrived at the so
I1tiou. the teacher asked her to explain. why,
reuIied the clild, holding out her two hands, anC
pIacing them side by side, 50 zere's five on a
band. and five on at Now 1 take away est
fVe from 'ose FIVE, and-ere zey be-fge ?
About as fine piece Of ocular demonstration il
the yray of a logical dilemma you will offer
meet. To "a head of such sharp little discover
ers and accountants, it will be in order to say
sG Eve from itself. how many