The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-17

and mother every night"
!uOh. veg: but then, you know, tneV
don't understand the first thing about mu-
sic: besides, there's only TWO OF tnein'
while here / migbtn't have voice enough 70
20 around"
IT is pretty fair to test a mans birth and
breeding to dine with him in pubic res
taurant. II he DULLES the walters and gen
orally reyels IN an air OF lordly authorlty'
il is safe to say that he is enjoying luxury
comparatively unfamiliar to him. Ibe man
who is born to command will always De re-
spected, without any conscious effort on his
part, by the people he employs. Inc man
to whom a position OF authority IS some
thing new and abnormal may make his SUBJ
ordinates fear him; but that is all. A gen
tleman may stand on his head habltually,
and bis interiors will not dare to venture
upon an impertineuce; but shoddy, though
encased in the triple brass of pomposity,
cannot cheat the keen and certain valuation
OF the servants eye.-Pucc.
Lovely woman keeps her CATERS dry at
the Ascot races. Three weeks ago she look
ed from her seat on drag 10 the box she
was anxious to reach and saw that the race
course which she must cross was very mud
DIV. Her silken. clad ankles and delicate lii
tie shoes proved that she was ill.equipped
for Yenturing through the mud, which COW
cred the horses hoofs. Choosing dry
place, this heroine jumped from the drag,
took the straw envelopes from couple or
chamagne bottles, thrust her feet into them,
and thus shod made her way across the
course without iniuring the little shoes.
A good colored man once said in class
meeting: "Bredren, when / was boy l
took Ratchet and went into the woods.
When found tree that was straight, big,
and solid, didn't touch that tree, but when
found one leaning little and hollow in
side I soon had him down. So when de
debil get after Christians he don't touch
dem OATS straigh and true, but dem dat
lean a little and are hollow inside"
Club, did you ever stop to think" said
q grocer recently, as he measured out half
a peck of potatoes, "that these potatoes
contain sugar, water, and starch ?" "Noa,
didn't" replied the boy, "but heard
mother say that you put peas and beans in
your coffee and about pint Of water in
every quart of milk you Sold" The sub
ject OF natural philosophy was dropped
right there.
This is Il rather funny advertisement: ga
good plain cook Wanted-a singer pre-
ferred-at country rectory." On showing
it to a depOrable mi>creant whom / have
the misfortune to call my friend, he sug-
eested that the reverend gentleman might
like Grisi cooking, and prefer PATHS to any
other ntrees.-London World, July I'd.
"Bones, did you hear that fellow make
that speech in the courthouse to-day?"
eyes" "What did you think OF it?"
"WelI, tell you what's a fact, he can
bring an argument down to pint about as
quick as any Teller / ever saw" "IiS,"
replied the other, ssbut he can bring a quart
OF whiskey down to pint heap quicker'n
that,
A great deal OF poetry has been written
about snow-white sails on shimmerinG,
sunlit sea-" but the sails on most of the craft
that we have observed look as il they had
been used for circus canvas in very wet
and muddy season. There's no whiteness
about them.-Ne1o Huven Register.
1t is very extraordinary, but it is never
theless quite true, that it was the first pair
that ate the first apple. Why, and this, now,
is really first-class Al conundrum Why
are cashmere shawIs like deaf people?
Don't you see, because you can't make them
here. Get out yourself Judy.
The lunatic asylum who edits the Oko-
Iona States says "the Niger must either
be DISTINGUISHED OF compelled to vote right
Just as ii the niger" didn't already en-
Joy this blessed alternative in the South
Noristoaon Herald.
A young lady pupil OF high school put
~ snIl hni
brows, rouged her cheeks, etc., ana 'he,
went to the commencement and read ner
ESSAY entitled deception ffcfa'iiIs
Folly -Norristo,ca Herald.
Actor (who has appeared in the hrst
piece): Good-evening. May take Inc sea-
next YOU? Lady: Certainly; nut oou,t
uo,, onnenr anv more tonight! Actor: No.
+ adv: On. I am so gIad! Pray sit down.
Funny. Folks.
IF ia q little singular, although no less
: rho that one small but well-constructed
Nv viii do more toward breaking upa mans
.,i,ernoon nap than the outdoor racket OF q
full brass band Waterloo Observer.
Judging from the large number of young
nhvstcians being ground out by our medi-
cal colleges, we can no longer sing. "The
world is but an II. y. ~ YonkerS
Statesman.
Ladies' beyond the thirties choose wide
ribbons for decorating costumes. albany
Argus. See here have you got grudge
against some man who has lot Of wide
ribbon for saleS-BoSton Post.
A maintained Smith died recently In Aus
tratia, leaving fortune OF $780, 900. II any
person by the name Of Smith sees this he
may bear Of something to his advantage
Nets Orseans Picayane.
The manager OF burlesaue troupe will
tell ySu that seeing bis show will drive
away sorrow, and yet he'll get mAd as a wet
ben ii you suggest that his Is Hee-begone
sompans-~-BoAonrPoSt.
1t is more reputable to adapt yourself to
circumstances than it is to tit yourself with
another mans new silk hat while he is TAX
ne dinner at a Crow ded hotel.-Iuioen,X.
There never was freckle so small on ,ene
nose but what some other woman
.ouid see it just rs plain rs an ink-spot GA q
White Observation-Disclosures Herdta-
The Chilians and Peruvians are getting
O WORK in. earnest, and several contests
ave proved almost as fatal as Fourth.ol-
uly ebrations.-Boston Post.
The crop OF hops in Great Britain may be
hort, but that at our watering..places prom
ses to be as large as usual Cincinnati
Commercial.
Song OF the graduate That las. exami-