The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-09-11
MULTUM IN PARvO.

but two feet unmake it mighty quick.
provided they are hens feet.
A LITTLE boy being asked, "What is
the chief end Of man?' replied: 1.-THE
end what's got the head on"
WHAT a paradox to say that gout
runs in q family. Whoever saw govt
even make decent attempt at walk
ing?
A DOG will soon become attached to
an old kettle, if there is milk in it, or
without milk if there is wicked small
boy about the house.-M o. Ricayuae.
The practice of wearing court-plas-
ter on the face, to add to its beauty,
just suits the style of some women, aud
the more court-plaster they use the bet
ter.-Bos.os Post.
WHEN q man can buy up his own
obligations for fifty cents on the dollar
he has a good working margin for oper-
ations, and can smile while ruin stares
him in the face.-Erchange.
MISSISSIPPI votes at the fall election
on Constitutional amendment reduce
ing the number of elections by having
State and county officers voted for at
the regular biennial election for Con-
gressmen.
CHESTERFIELD said, and thousands
re-echo the cry. that no one is excusa-
BILE for being out of the fashion, but we
like to know what the deuce q man is
to do who has married when blondes
were the style.-Boston Post.
THERE is Florida man who owns
one hundred and fifty thousand cattle,
and who is said to be amiserly recluse,
living in shanty which has neither
fireplace nor chimney. He sells his
surplus cattle in Cuba; he seldom sees
strangers, and he hides his money in
cans on his land.
THE other evening an old gentleman
advanced the proposition that never in
the course of his long life had he seen
q woman that was notcharming. "Oh,
really, now" said lady whose nose
was of the purest Ukraine breed,
"don't you think I'm ugly?" Not
at all, madame" replied the gallant
old gentleman. You are an angel
fresh fallen from Heaven, only you fell
on your noser'
A GENTLEMAN who had been dining
out the night before, went into bar
ber's shop one morning to be shaved.
He saw that the barber had been TAX
ing more than was good for him, for
his hand shook very much, and, natu-
rally indignant, he began to give him a
little moral advice by saying: "Bad
thing, drink - "Yes, /" said the bar.
Der, cit makes the skin awful tenders
LITTLE JOHNNY: "Pa, you once said
that the reason folks are dumb is be.
cause they can't hear others talk"
Pa delighted to see how we'll his little
son remembers): "Yes, Johnny"
Johnny: "Then I suppose boy who
never gets chance to see anything
would be blind, wouldn't hep" Pa
(rather Disconnected at Johnny logic +:
"Well-yes perhaps so. But why do
you ask that, Johnny?'' Johnny:
'Nothing, only there's been one cir
Gus, and another's coming, and l didn't
want to be blind, pa
Two YOUNG ladies from Port Jervis,
who are visiting in Middletown, were
the other night escorted by couple of
young gentlemen to the pond at the
foot of Mill street and given sail
about the pond in one Of the boats.
Now, the waters of this pond are gen.
orally very placid, and as its area is not
great its navigation is not attended
with much peril, yet when the boat
landed and the ladies stepped on shore
one of them gave great sigh of relief
and exclaimed: "Oh, dear, I am SO
glad to be once more on vice versa."-
Middletoson IN. ~ Argus.
RHODE ISLAND still supports one
hundred and thirty-eight Indians, the
reservation at Charlestown, but
would like to get rid of the burden.
The General Assembly appointed a
committee to inquire into the matter,
and q conference on abolishing the
tribal authority of these Indians and
comforting upon them the rights of
citizenship has been held. Some of
the citizens present opposed the en-
reimbursement of the Indians for vari.
Gus reasons, such as because they did
not desire it, and because, If they did
become citizens, they might require
support as paupers.
AN enterprising company of swind-
lers that not long ago drew the cash
from many Pennsylvania farmers ap-
pear to be operating just now in Ohio.
The case of one victim will illustrate
their method. John Herrick, a farmer,
living near Austinburg, was ap-
preached by "clothing man." who
proposed that if the farmer would give
him the names of several neighbors
around he would have a suit of clothes
free. Herrick bit. Next day the
sharper returned, wrote out contract,
supposed to be according to agree
ment, and got the farmers signature,
saying that he would leave the con-
tract at the cloth house, and upon pre-
senting duplicate the farmer could get
his suit. After the lapse of few days
Herrick got notice from an Ashtabula
bank that note of eighty dollars was
held by it for collection. Herrick
rushed to town and found that the note
was the clothing mans contract. :"
The note had been bought by the bank,
as Herrick's standing was good.