The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1879-08-22
THE GALLAGHER DIVORCE CASE.

1
"My name is Gallagher" said Ill
/. stranger, Ms he entered Colonel Brown
law office. al called TO see you ab0nt
suit for divorce"
"Take seat, ''said the colonel. .
"In the first place." said Mr.. Gallt
CHER, "I want TO ask, can divorce b
obtained on the ground of general IL
combatibilityp
'T dunno" said the colonel. al mus
ascertain the fact"
Because, if can, want you TO be
gin sixty-eight divorce suits for me to
morrow, upon the fact"
"Sixty-eight?"
"Let me explain. You see, abou
four years ago went TO Salt Lake City
and / was converted to the Mormon
religion. When joined, Bisho
Grubb said | ought to marry, and'so
proposed for his six daughters, and 81
j we were consolidated ut once. On th
following Thursday the Bishop died.
lie left eleven widows. His executor
pointed out ti.at | might probably as
suage their lonely condition. SO
married them, and also pooled in tw,
sisters of one of them, living in Idaho
| oit u COlSiu vi duOtlltI COttSlu WI
was single, and had n cast IN her eye.'
'"rhat made twenty, did itY' obser
we'd The colonel.
"Twenty. Well, then, the impres
sion, your honor, naturally got around
that was marrying man, and so TIN
twelve apostles at their next meeting
sealed to me four widows and an ole
maid that were drifting about the set
tlement with no one in particular tt
look after them, and as | took the ac
goodnaturedly, why on the following
week, Bishop Knox got the apostles tC
pass over to me job lot of his rela
tions; including two aunts, one grand
mother, and second cousin, and BishoI
O"Toolc threw In step-sister, &
mother in-law, and three miscellaneous
orphans, who were related to nobody
SO, you see, was gradually getting
quite little family about me-"
81 see," said the colonel.
"And then, your homer if any unat.
tached women would come along in
emigrant trains, they were always Or
dered to be married to me SO that even
tually, in addition to my other wives,
had gathered two Welch women, an old
lady from the Sandwich Islands, three
Peruvians, the widow of japanese
acrobat, and Kickapoo squaw.
thought the hands of the church were q
little hard on me, but | had to sub.
mitY
.Did you have happy house
hold?'
"fm just coming to that. l can't
say that we were all perfectly congen-
ial, our tastes differ so. The Bishop
Grubb delegation, for instance, would
want caromels for breakfast in the
morning when the folks from Peru
were determined to have clans.
Bishop Knox's detachment would insist
on cleaning house at the very time
when Bishop O'Tooles relation wanted
TO give a party. If the Sandwich
Islander and the squaw wanted to boil
q leg or two in the soup kettle, there
was always a fuss with the other
women, and the Mrs. Gallagher who
came from Japan used to make the rest
of the ladies furious by turning sOmer-
saults in the parlor when there was
company, and by standing on her head
on the pianO-stoOl. AS for washday |!
Well, one wanted it Oh Monday,
another would have It on Tuesday, and
so on. If there had been thirty-seven
days in week, we should have wash
ing going OH each of them"
Precisely. And then Emeline, one
of my first batch of wives, had studied
medicine, and she was always practic-
ing upon the others. She introduced
hopping cough to the family in order
to try a favorite remedy of hers. I'm
agine sixty-eight women in one house,
with the hooping-coughl And then she
puts ipecac in their tea few weeks
afterwards, to see if it would give them
asthma; and it did. The whole crowd
went around gasping for breath, and
| think the Mexican woman is proba-
bly, shortwinded for lie. | remonstra-
ted with Emeline, but the very next
day she tried to vaccinate the old lady
from the Sandwich Islands by boring a
hole in her elbow with gimlct."
"Don't mind you, eh?"
"No. And SO one day. about three
weeks ago, brought home poodle for
Julia, one of the younger ones. This
looked little like partiality and OF
course the sixty-seven others wanted q
poodle apiece at once. Now I'm not
able to pay dog tax sixty eight times
a year, so l declined. | saw there was
trouble brewing, and the next day
when j came home every women of
them had dog of her own; been out
and bought them. They ranged from
blood-hounds TO black and tan terriers.
demonstrated, and thcn-well, the
women began to cry and that set the
dogs TO barking, and then Lucy went
for Mary's back hair, and the
other ladies joined in, and the dogs
pretty soon began to engage in the con-
troversy, and in few moments what
might have been happy family circle
was good deal more like copy of
the battle of Waterloo. So | fled and
took the first train for the East, and
abandoned the Mormon religion perma-
nently, and what want to know is if
can have those sixty-eight marriages
bonds united. Money is no object, so
that | can get loose"