davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-08-22
A MOTHERS DIARY.

Morningl Baby on the floor,
Making for the fender:
Sunlight seems TO make Ii sneeze;
Baby ION benderr"
All the spools upset and gone,
Chairs drawn into file,
Harnessed strings all strung across.
Ought TO make one smile.
Apron clean, curls smooth, eyes olue
How these charms will dwindleD,
For rather think-dont you
Baby sis n swindlef"
Noon. A tangled, silken floss
Getting In blue eyes;
Apron that will not keep clean,
III baby tries
One blue shoe united, and one
Underneath the table:
Chairs gone mad and block and toys,
Well as they are able;
Baby In a high chair, too,
Yelling for his dinner,
Spoon in mouth; think-dont you
Baby ais a sinneri"
Night Chairs all set back again,
Blocks and spoons in order;
One blue shoe beneath the mat
Tells of marauder;
Apron folded on chair,
Plaid dress torn and wrinkled,
Two pink feet kicked pretty bare.
Little fat knees crinkled;
In his crib, and conquered, too,
BY sleep, best evangel.
Now surely think-don't you
baby is an angeli
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-08-22

Q.-Mention some of the principal
law books which you have studied?
A.-Blackstone's Summary, Hoyle's
Law of Whist, Rules of the Racket
Club, etc.
Q.-Have you attended any law lect-
ures?
Al have attended many legal lect-
ures. have been admonished fire
quently by the police.
On common law, what is real ac-
tion?
Am action brought in earnest and
not in joke.
Q.-What are bill and answer?
Ask my tailor.
Q.-What steps would take to dis
solve an injunction?
A.-Place it in a vessel of alcoholand
india-rubber until it is melted.
Q.-What is simple larceny?
A.-Picking a pocket of a handker-
chief and leaving purse behind.
Q.-Whatis grand larceny?
A.-The city taxes.
Q.-How would you proceed to make
a man bankrupt?
A.-Persuade him to build a new
theater.
Q.-How are the effects of a bankrupt
disposed Of?
A.-They are divided between the
bankrupt and his attornies.
Q.-What is rent in arrear?
A hole in the west side of my
pants.
Q.-What does Sc defendendo mean?
Astonishing fellows worries who
tweaks your nose.
That will do. Clerk, make out his
certificate.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-08-22

QUEENSLAND, the youngest of the
Australian group, occupies the north
eastern quarter of the Australian CONT
nent, and stretches from the northern
boundary of New South Wales to the
Gulf of Carpentaria. 1t is twelve times
the size of England, twice the size of
Canada, and half as large again as En-
gland, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, France
andSpain combined. 1t is rich in gold.
The auriferous country now worked is
less than 1000 miles in area.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-08-22

The Georgia House of Representa-
tives has passed bill, by a vote of 1913
to %, exempting from jury duty regu-
larly licensed pharmaceutists and drug
gists, ministers, millers, school teach
ers, telegraph operators, and employees
of railroads.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-08-22

ny :. u. REED.

Somebody's darling. fair and sweet.
Ii wandering in shadows swift and fleet,
la and out OF checkered light
Ia a graceful form in dainty white.
30 somebody thought as ne swiftly trod
Over The earth, with Its bright green sod,
Over the bars. with its moss-grown stile,
somebody stands with "A welcome smile.
With a trustful look ia her sad. sweet face
She raised To his. with quiet grace:
While from the depths of her eyes so blue
Shone peace and love and happiness, too.
Only word is soft spoken.
only q ling a. pledge and token;
She In gathered close 10 manly breast
Somebody's lifs IL for yer blest.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-08-22

over last year. The personal effects of
emigrants passing this Consulate last
year were valued at $ll7,739. 1t is
claimed that portion of the emigrants
go to Manitoba.-Wd Washington VieU.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-08-22
WIT AND HUMOR.

OUGHT baker to drive a thorough
bred horse?
A GIRL may smile and smile, but be
unwillin' still.
The clergyman who announced a SER
mon to old ladies had an audience of
men.
CHILLs are quite common among the
carpets nowadays. They have good
many shakes.
If you have little pig you can give
it whey and still keep it. This is a
curdling joke.
A CIRCULAR advocating a summer re-
sort calls attention to numerous coy
seats in forked trees and elsewhere
some of them just large enough for two
persons"
INA, why don't you speak, Why
don't you say suthin' funny?" what
can say? Don't you see I'm busy
making cakes?" Well you might say
Jem won't you have a cake?' That
'ud be funny for you"
JOHN has five oranges; Jamee gives
him eleven, and he gives Peter seven.
How many has he left?" Before this
problem the class recoiled. Please,
SIR" said young lad, we always does
our sums in apples
JOSH BILLINGS: Il wouldn't give
you 10 cents yard for all the pedi-
grees in the world; if man has got
level head on his shoulders, and an
honest hart in his body, he has got all
the pedigree am in search of"
Ii body takes teddy
Largely made of rye;
If that toddy knocks" a body
Need body sigh!
Anybody that drinks teddy
weather ht to fry),
Then that body takes big chances
Other worlds to try.
Why are you like crazy man, my
dear?' asked wife, seating herself
beside her husband. "Don't know"
replied the husband; give it up"
Why replied the wife, hitching close
up to him, and putting on one of her
sweetest smiles, " am your other self,
and you are beside yourself"
How THE thoughts of Christian will
revert to the days when two sparrows
were sold for farthing," when the hon
est farmer of to-day sells him harvest
apples, not quite SO large as sparrow,
but great deal wormier, at prices
ranging from Is cents per apple to 81
peck.-BarlingtOn Ha,Ok-Eye.
A TEACHER, endeavoring to familiar
ize little girl with the various coun-
tries of the Western hemisphere with
little evidence of success, finally asked:
If were to bore a hole through the
earth, and you were to go through at
this end, where would you come out?"
Come outs" replied the child; "why,
I'd come out of the hole, miss!"
The Game laws should be amended
some more. 1t is all right to impose a
fine for shooting game out of season,
but what is wanted now is a clause in
serted to enable a man to shoot game
and catch fish in season. We have
found it easy enough not to shoot game
out of season. TO kill it in season is
what bothers us.-NOTristO,on Herald
ART AND NATURE.
Eliza Jane two lovers had
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-08-22

A BILL before the Hungarian Parlia-
ment proposes that after six years the
Magyar language shall be obligatory in
all schools.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-08-22
immigration from Canada to This
Country.

Mr.. Pace, United States Consul at
Port Sarnia, Can, reports to the Depart
ment Of State that the emigration from
Canada to the United States is large
and of valuable character-thrifty farm
ers, CARRYING considerable property with
them. The number crossing at Port
Sarnia the last year was q, 329-17,78
from Canada direct. This is an increase
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-08-22

GREAT BRITAIN produces three times
as much iron and nearly three times as
much coal az the United States.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-08-22
ART AND NATURE.

Eliza Jane two lovers had
The one was Nature. t'other Art
They were so very noar alike
She couldn't tell the two apart.
At last, to test their qualities
And give to one the vantage place.
She proffered each photograph
OF her ethereal. tempting face.
Art snatched the pretty paper prize
And pres sed it to his heart, and then
He put ii to his marble lips
And kissed 1t DER and o'er again,
But Nature hurled the painted gift
Aside with naughty calm disdain.
And, graphing her with strong embrace,
he kissed that plump Eliza Jane.
"Begone, o Art" the maiden cried
Let critics hymn your praise sublime.
But men are men and girls are girls
And I'll take Nature every timel-
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-05-03
A UNIQUE MAP.

The Cincinnati Enquirer deserves the
belt for the champion war map. 1t is a
map of the United States, and on every
State there are three auimals-a COW, a
hog, and sheep; and on each animal is
an array of figures denoting the number
that there are in the State. In some of
the smaller States there is difficulty in
telling which is which, but as general
thing the curl on the tail denotes the
pig, the horns the COW, and of course it
stands to reason that the other must be
the sheep. In Arizona, New Mexico,
Indian Territory, Utah, Wyoming,
Montana, Idaho, and Dakota, the three
animals have no figures on, and SO it
may be inferred that only one of each
class inhabits those sections of the coun-
try. Texas seems to take the lead in
cattle, having 400, 1908 800; New York
comes next, 2,100, 400; Illinois next with
l,S62,700: Iowa, 1896, 500; Missouri,
1881, 100; Pennsylvanis, 1850, 200 ;
Ohio, LIZA, 200; California, $780, 300;
Indiana, 1,l96,ooo; Wisconsin, 963, 200;
Kansas, 500, 800; Michigan, 765, 800.
California leads off on sheep, with $500,
900; Ohio next with 3,7S3,000; Texas,
3,674.700; Minnesota, 5000, 900 Michi-
gan, 100000; New York, 1.5lS,lO0
Wisconsin, 1928. 900; Pennsylvania,
1907 600; Illinois, 1858 500; and so on.
California is the most sheepish State
Iowa the most hoggish. 1t has 1850, 600
hogs; illinois, 100000; Missouri,
2,5S5,600; Indiana, ., 422, 500; and Ohio,
2,250,000; Michigan has only sos, 100
hogs; Kentucky, 100000; Tennessee,
1900, 900; Georgia, 1,5S6,O0O Mime
sofa, 1884, 100; Arkansas, 1,040, 900.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-05-03
Too Much Sleep.

God bless the man who first invented
sleep" So said Sancho Panza, and so
say we. But there are those who will
not feel like blessing the man who has
discovered that there is danger as well
as health and happiness in slumber.
The Golden RUE rises mp to warn us that
there is such thing as too much sleep.
1t says. The effects of too much sleep
are not less signal than those arising
from its privation. The whole nervous
system becomes blunted, so that the
muscular energy is enfeebled, and the
sensations and moral and intellectual
manifestations are obtunded. All the
bad effects of inaction become developed
The memory is impaired, the powers Of
imagination are dormant, and the mind
falls into a kind of hebetude, chiefly
because the functions of the intellect
are not sufficiently exerted, when sleep
is too prolonged or too often repeated.
To sleep much is not necessarily to be a
good sleeper. Generally they are the
poorest sleepers who remain longest in
bed; i. G., they awaken less refreshed
than if the time of rising were earlier
by an hour or two. We commend this
to those who cry little more sleep and
little more slumber." 1t does not
affect newspaper men, who 60 to bed late
and get up early.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-05-03
A Story of the GraYe.

The Pittsburg (Pa.) Dispatch says
Some employees of the Pittsburg, Titus
vile and Buffalo Railroad relate n
strange and horrible story. 1t seems a
man died lately at Triumph, o small
place not far from Tidioute. The body
was kept three days, and at the expira-
ton of that time buried. Then some
curious person remembered that sister
of the deceased had lain in a death-like
trance for several days. II was sug-
gested that perhaps the man had been
prematurely buried. This suspicion
took 80 strong hold upon the people
that it was resolved to exhume the body,
and the coffin was disinterred after
having laid three days in the grave.
The lid was wrenched of, when hor-
rible sight greeted the eyes of the resur-
rectionists. Evidently the supposed
corpse had revived, and the wretched
man had fought desperately for his life.
Imprints of his finger nails we're visible
on the lining of his coffin, which in
some places was torn into shreds. The
coffin itself was strained and wrenched
apart at the jointings in the death
agonies of the miserable man who was
buried alive. He had turned com pletely
over, and was found lying upon his
breast, his distorted countenance indi-
eating the frightful su1erings he had
undergone.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-05-03
A Recitation in History.

1t was our pleasure some time ago to
hear class recite ON plan quite new
to us. It was a class in history. The
lesson was read as in any ordinary read
ing class, the reader standing. When
the one reading made mistake, the
one next below, on correcting it, took
his place. The reading finished, the
hardest words were given to the class to
be spelled, and all misspelling noticed
and corrected by pupil gave him the
next higher place. The teacher did not
notice any mistakes, but left them all to
be corrected by the pupils. The ques-
tons were asked by the pupils, begin
ming at the foot of the class. If the
pupil questioned could not answer, his
place was taken by the questioner, on
giving a correct answer. The pupils
did all the work except giving out
words to be spelled. 1t was we'll and
quickly done. What class would like
to try it?-EGchange
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-05-03
Francis c. Barlow and John b. Gordon.

You may not be aware that it was
Gen. Gordon's command which struck
the flank of the Eleventh corps on the
afternoon of the first day at Gettysburg,
and, after short but desperate con-
fict, broke its line and swept it from
the field.
In that fight Gen. Barlow, of New
York, commander of the First Division,
fell dangerously, and, it was thought,
mortally wounded. He was shot direct
ly through the body. Two of his men
attempted to bear him through that
shower of lead from the field; but one
was instantly killed, and Gen Barlow
magnanimously said to the other: "You
can do me no good; save yourself if you
can" Gordon's brigade of Georgians
in its wild charge swept over him, and
he was found by Gen. Gordon himself,
lying with upturned face in the hot July
sun, nearly paralyzed and apparently
dying. Gen. Gordon dismounted from
his horse, gave him drink OF water
from his canteen, and inquired of Gen.
Barlow his name and wishes.
Gen. Barlow said: 81 shall probably
live but short time. Please take from
my breast pocket the packet of my wife's
letters and read one of them TO me-"
which was done. He then asked that
the others be torn up, as he did not
wish them to fall into other hands. This
Gen. Gordon did, and then asked "Can
l do anything else for you, General2"
"Yes," replied Gen. Barlow. earnestly.
MY wife is behind our army. Can you
send message through the hnes2,"
Certainly will" said Gordon, and he
did. Then, directing Gen. Barlow to be
borne to the shade of tree at the rear,
he rode on with his command. The
wife received the message, and came
harmlessly through both lines of battle,
and found her husband, who eventually
recovered.
Since Gen. Gordon's election to the
United States Senate, both he and Gen.
Barlow were invited to dinner party
in Washington, and occupied opposite
seats at the table. After lntroductions,
Gen. Gordon said: Gen. Barlow, are
You related to the officer of your name
who was killed at Gettysburg?" Il am
the man, said Barlow. "Are you re-
lated to the Gordon who is supposed to
have killed me?' II am the man" said
Gen. Gordon. The hearty greeting
which followed the touching story, as
related to the interested guests by Gen.
Barlow, and the thrilling effect upon the
company, can better be imagined than
described.-Bosto1a Transcript.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-05-03
BIG DIAMONDS.

A story comes from Parteall, India,
where diamonds are usually found
Golconda being the place where they
are merely cut and polished-that the
largest diamond in the world has lately
been discovered there. 1t is said to
weigh four hundred carats, thirty two
carats more than the famous stone be-
longing to the Rajah of Mattau. The
story is, in all probability, much bigger
than the diamond, and both will be
likely to diminish under careful exami-
nation. Great diamonds are interesting,
because they nearly always have curious
and romantic histories. The Regent or
Pitt diamond, one hundred and thirty
six and three fourths carats, cut, found
in Hyderabad, was taken to England by
Pitt, the grandfather of the first Earl of
Chatham, and sold by him to the Due
d'Orleans for sum equivalent to $780,
600. 1t ornamented the sword hilt of
Napoleon; was taken by the Prussians
at Waterloo, and is now among the
crown jewelsof the Emperor of Germany.
The Sanci, another celebrated stone,
once belonged to Charles the Bold, Duke
of Burgundy, who wore it in his hat at
the battle of Nancy, where he fell. 1t
then passed to the hands of Anton,
King of Portugal, and he, being embar-
raised, disposed of it for $780, Then
it was purchased, after divers changes,
by Frenchman named Sanci, whence
its designation. One of his descendants
having been sent as ambassador to Henry
iii, at Soleure, the King demanded the
jewel as pledge. The servant carrying
it to the monarch was waylaid by rob-
bers and murdered, but not before he
had swallowed the diamond. His master,
confident of his fidelity, had the body
opened, and found the precious stone.
After while it was secured by the
government of Great Britain, and James
ii carried it to France in 1868. After
varied fortune, Louis XIV got hold of
it and wore it a. his cornation. Then it
passed from his hand, and was bought,
fifty-odd years since, by Russian noble
man for $400, 900, and is said to belong
now to one of his heirs. As it is too
valuable for almost anybody to keep, it
will continue, no doubt, as the years 20
on, to add to its memorable history.
Diamonds supply most of the romance
of precious stones.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-05-03
Fighting Texans.

In Goliad county, Texas, two men,
Lockhait and Henderson, got into an
alteration, when both drew pistols. Be.
ing at close quarters, Loekhart caught
Henderson by the arm which held his
pistol, and, pressing his own weapon to
Henderson, fired six shots, all taking
effect except one. Henderson, being
held firmly by Lockhart, was unable to
bring his pistol to bear ON his antagon-
list, though he emptied all the chambers
of his revolver in his endeavor to do SO.
Bob Henderson, brother of the wounded
man, then rushed into the room and
opened fire upon Loclshart, who, having
no loads in his revolver, closed with
Henderson and threw him to the floor.
Henderson succeeded in gaining his feet
again, when he emptied his revolver in
Lockhart, killing him instantly, the bull
let striking just beneath the eye. Hen
derson died in few hours, having been
shot several times through the breast
and stomach. Lockhart was the largest
man in Goliad county, weighing $50
pounds.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-05-03

The late Admiral Goldsborough was
one of the most uncivil officers in the
navy. 1t is related of him that he once
found in his room the card of young
man attached to the diplomatic corps
who had called during the Admirals'
absence. Not long after the young
man accosted him on the street and
asked, did you get my card, Admiral?
He shouted out, Eyes! and what's the
meaning of E. p that you wrote on it ?"
why, that means en- persOnne, thatI
called in person. >" ct does, eh? said
the Admiral, who went off in mood of
Disguised meditation. In few days he
returned the call by sending his card by
a messenger, first writing S. b. N. in
one corner. Again the two met "You
received my card, did your" inquired
the Admiral. Eyes, and what does
S. B. N. mean?" asked the polite young
man. "Sent by nigger!" Numbered
the Admiral. -Bufalo Commercial.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-05-03
Conundrums for EVERYBODY.

A London doctor has circulated the
following queer conundr,ims In the In.
terest of sciences First, are you right
or left handed? Second, have You any
trick or mannerisfn involving the use
of the hand, such as playing with but
ton, or touching the forehead or lip
during thought, and, il SO, Is this per-
formance invariably with the right or
left hand, or by either hand indifferent
ly? Third, can you snap the fingers OF
both hands with equal ease and effect
if not, which set of fingers possesses the
greater swapping power? Fourth, in
walking, dancing, etc, do you start with
the right or left foot? Fifth, in walk
ing backward, which foot do you start
with? Sixth, can you kick more freely
and forcibly with the right or left leg J?
Seventh, can You wink with equal
facility with each eye? il not, with
which eye do you wink more easily ?
Eighth, in winking slightly, do you en-
ploy principally the upper or lower eye
lid, and is slight wink similarly ac-
complished on both sides, or do you,
on the one side, employ principally the
upper eye-lid, and on the other, princi
pally the lower onep Ninth, can you
draw up each corner of the mouth al
ternately with equal freedom? II not,
over which corner have you the more
control2 Tenth, can you move the pro-
truding tongue to the right and left
side with equal freedom2 if not, toward
which side do you move it with more
freedom? Eleventh, can you move
your external ears separately? and, if
so, which of the two do you move more
freely"
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-05-03
A BOYS Suicide.

William Zeigler, a lad II years Of
age, who lived with bis grandmother on
Allegheny avenue, near Chatham street,
committed suicide yesterday afternoon
by hanging to jcist in the ceiling. He
took advantage Of the lady's absence to
lock himself in the house. He then
went into the cellar, piled up blocks Of
wood until he had adjusted rope from
a hook in joist around his throat. He
then kicked away the blocks. When
the grandmother returned in half an
hour from the neighbours house which
she had been visiting, she was COM
PEELED to climb into the dwelling through
q back window Not finding Willie in
the lower rooms, she proceeded to the
upper rooms, and then to the cellar,
where she beheld the dangling body,
still warm, the rope having stretched
until the boys knees touched the
ground. Hewas taken down, and unsuc-
cessful efforts were made to resuscitate
him. The reason assigned for the sui
eide is a disturbance of mental balance
produced by reading religious books.
He frequently declared that he wanted
to go to heaven from this sinful world
PhiLQdeLDLiG Times.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-05-03
So Romantic.

A Boston romance, in which a hale
and hearty man of 80 and slight, little
woman couple of years younger
figured, is reported. The two met on a
rainy day, while hurrying with tilted
umbrellas about their business, a
collision followed, and the woman
slipped to the sidewalk. In picking her
up the man recognized her Us an old
flame. Thirty years before, when she
was Lowell factory girl, and he poor
medical student at Harvard, they had
loved each other. In 1849 he went to
California and forgot the girl he left
behind him. He prospered in business,
became rich, and married. Later his
wife and children died, and in his loneli-
ness he remembered the Lowell factory
girl. A dream told him she was in dis.
tress. He hurried East to find her, but
looked in vain till they accidentally met
She was a widow, with two children,
and in destitute circumstances, but that
is all over now.