The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-05-08

short on intimate acquaintance"
TIE plumber came down like . wolf on the fold.
BIS pockets were laden with solder and gold;
And for four mortal hours he made love to the
And seventeen dollars were charged up in his book
-FAeelfH0 Leader.
A HEALTHY bridegroom, an army mus
ket and an ounce of birdshot, all work
ing harmoniousIy together, VIII dis
charge a serenade quicker than thun-
der shower.
ABOUT this time Prince Bismarck steps
around to his tailor and remarks: Say,
Schneider, Just put copper lining to
dem goats and bants, vii you? I drinks
We have anoder Zocialistic schutzenfest
BIZ was sitting By the nrs,
With Marieri
And toward her every moment he
TIL her chair did interpOse,
When he kissed her on the nose
They'll be married when this sloppy
Weather's dryer.
-NeLD York Ezpress.
st AM inclined to believe" said a fop
to a lady who had refused to sing, you
are fishing for compliments" "Oh, no"
replied she, al never fish III so shallow
a stream"
DISTINGUISHED divine TO recent con-
vert: "We propose to baptize you by
the Turkish-bath method. 1t is really
the only means to scrub your years OF
sin out of you"
A NOTICE in Western newspaper of
q steamboat explosion ends as follows:
"The Captain swan ashore. So did the
chambermaid she was insured for $751;
900 and loaded with iron"
DURING the recent cold weather it Is
said that Wilhelmj was,compelled to saw
the off the end Of his name and wrap
it up in hot hannels. It is feared, even
now, that the frost has undermined its
onsGtutiOn.-AtIGTltG Constitution.
THE school is still; hand is raised
May 90 out, please. sirf"
And, tween his handkerchief and nose
Do rudy stains appear.
+" Why, certainly" the master says;
The urchin straightway goes;
BE takes his cap from OF its peg,
TIE cranberry from his nose.
SMYTHE ugh, it's cold as a barn
here, and Tn almost frozen to death. I
never did know you to have fire when
you should have" Mrs. S. Cmeekly)-
"Wel1, Henry, if you should be frozen
to death you would soon thaw out,
dear. Boston Transcript.
DRIED apples and cord-wood are not
taken at par for subscriptions by the
Wstsonville (Cal) Transcript, which
adopts as its motto:
We do not belong to our patrons;
Our paper is wholly our own;
whoever may like it may take #,
Who don't may Just let it alone.
A woMAN's "No."
0noi could not wed you, no;
But hope you won't forget
] love you q sister should
Q please, VIII, don't &c yet.
YeE, love you as q sister should,
But marry your All, mol
I'm grievsd you should have thought Of IL
Oh, Will Don't leave so.
Come back, sit down and talk to me;
DON'T Don't troHn when you
One cannot love just when she would,
And don't think you love me much,
don't upon my life;
But, If really thought you did
Yes, VIII; III be your vito.
IT never rains in Peru, and q man
can let his umbrella stand in an open
doorway two weeks at stretch without
having it borrowed by a stranger. But
we prefer to have an occasional rain
and bor-and lose an umbrella now
and then.-NOTriSto1D73 Herald.
MY dear" said a wife to her hus-
band, when we get these old books
home again that we lent to your uncle,
what will be the best style in which to
have them bound?" HomeWard
bound is the most suitable thing for
borrowed books, my love-" was his
reply.
A CLERGYMAN speaking at a funeral
bewailed the loss of many great men,
such for instance, as the deceased In the
coffin before him, and said that none
like them were left to us. a stxonR-
voiced old Methodist sister startled
both speaker and audience by exclaim-
ing, Bless God, that's iel"
BOYS" said the man holding an
inverted match in one hand, and a dark
cigar In the other, never acquire the
pernicious habit Of smoking. I am d
slave to it now, yet I hate It. I never
see a cigar that do not want TO burn
! it up" And then, with extreme salts
faction, he burned up the one he had IN
his hand.
A MAN saw q ghost while walking
along a lonely highway at midnight.
The ghost stood exactly in the middle
of the road, and the wsyfarer, deciding
to investigate, poked at IL with his UNI
brella- The next instant he was knocked
twenty feet into a mud-hole. Moral:
Never poke at large white mule when
its back is turned.
SMITH has good opinion Of himself.
He has never done a stroke of work,
but lives on q handwriting father
Nevertheless, he fancies that some
credit is due him for the fortune which
against the mantelpieee, his back TO the
fire, he said: II was born the son of q
poor laborer. Before was 30 years old
I was the son Of one Of the richest men
in the county"
You've man devoted to and expressly
manufactured for society, cIasping his
head in agony-@Ah, by Jove, how my
head achesl AwfulIy, by Jovel" Sym
pathizing friend, student In den
tai room-@Oh, you'd better have IL
pulled" then, after q thoughtful pause,
scr filed Patient moves away with an
injured air, and the young dentist smiles
after him more thoughtful than ever
Burlington HGt0k-Eye.
a SUSCEPTIBLE young gentleman,
who was engaged to beautiful lass in
Montreal, offered to give her all the
money he had saved, amounting to sew
eral hundred dollars, and il was depos-
tied IN bank IN her name. Not long
afterward he fell IN love With another
girl and was anxio1s to have the money
refunded. The first sweetheart was Will
ing to cancel the engagement, but re-
garded the bank account as a matter Of
business, and refused to refund the
money.