Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1879-11-06
Musquash Mosquitoes.

Musquash Mosquitoes.
Last Sunday night we all went to
church down at Musquash, and heard
Mr.. Hopper prcach-a pleasure that all
Burlington will envy us: Mr.. n. was
ourselves, and the Baptists of Musquash
just pressed him into their service for
one day. Well, had been trout fishing
all the day before, and had waded down
the river few miles; and Saturday night
I poured bushel and half of oats into
each Of my boots, and all the bright
sunny Sabbath-day they set out in the
sun and basked, while lounged around
loosely shod in slippers, and extremely
happy. I went to church in the evening,
and you can't imagine how easy and COM
Portable were my slippercd feet. I Thrust
them out before me and admired them.
In moment or two a mosquito came
sailing along, humming the refrain of a
hymn the congregation had just ceased
singing. This startled me little but
not very much, because always believ-
ed that the St. John mosquitoes could
sing if they would. Well, this fellow
sailed on, passed me. Then he turned
and came back, and I observed that he
had rather wicked look in his eyes, al
though l reasoned that was nothing more
than one might expect from a mosquito
that flew around on the Sabbath, present
Is, still humming abroad is the road
that leads to DEATH" the bird made a
few circles and lighted on my sippered
foot, making his landing about an inch
above the slipper.
"Now, son." I said, "this is a little
too much. Iadmire cheek, but you fair
ly gorge my admiration. I am sorry for
you, because I know your helplessness
and stupidity. But your impotence is
more detestable than your imbcciliry is
touching, and I am compelled to mash
you"
I lifted my other foot to crush him,
and I hope may live thousand years
if that mosquito didn't get the drop on
me.
I haven't felt anything like it since
seven years ago when I attempted to
mend the family wash-bcller, and
poured tablespoonful of sizzling, glow
ing, bubbling solder down inside my
shoe.
: As l am a truthful man, when l felt
the shot looked down, and that mos
quito had his hind legs bent under HIM,
his front legs stretched out and braced
against my foot, while the venomous
wretch, holding his mouth full of cpl
dermis and stocking, leaned back, and
pulled, and shook his head savagely,
like bull terrier, without ever breaking
his hold. Just before I kicked him he
let 90 and sailed around behind nv head
while the congregation joined IN sing
ing:
Brethren, while we sojourn here,
Fight we must, but need not fear.
sat in silence, enduring agony, won
dering what manner of bird the Musquash
mosquito was, when suddenly another
one came behind me, caught me by the
heel, and I thought in my soul that it
would pull the leg off me before could
shake or kick it loose. And then it
lodged about my ears, swapping at them
as it went by, and humming with great
affection Of feeling:
would not live Away.
was glad that it felt that way about
it. It lived long enough to satisfy me,
all the same. All through the service
this inhuman banquet went on. The
mosquitoes that come late. didn't stand
on ceremony, but drew right up and
helped themselves. "Cut little closer
to the bone," said the old ones to the
new corners; ''you'll find the meat sweet
En-" And close to the bone it was. !
kept up regular tattoo with my feet, un-
til the senior deacon came over and wills
pered to me that the Dominion churches
had not adopted the New York custom
of applaudlng the good points IN the ser.
mon: Then held my feet off the floor,
and kicked them straight out every time
a new mosquito got the drop on me and
made a bull's-eye, until man sitting in
front Of me turned round and sternly as
sured me that if I didn't quit kicking
his wife and children, he'd throw me out
the window. l had wondered several
times, in an distracted sort Of way, what
the children were crying for. Once, in
my suffering, Igot my feet upon the pew
and tried to sit on them, but this ma
neuver seemed to afford the young ladies
in that city so much amusement that I
had to give it up. got hold OF win
dow stick, and tried spearipg the mos
quitoes with it, like cells; BUTT attracted
too much attention, and, owing to my
nervousness, was failure anyhow. At
last, either because they had enough, or
because it was all gone, or because the
service was concluded, the mosquitoes
quit, and the last heard of them, as
they started over to the other side of the
room to swarm on a bald headed man he.
fore he could get his hat on. they were
singing with the congregation:
Happy daY-happy day.