Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-06-25

| "AiClI LID OIlCC Ivy uLlJ0 GuC 1UuClIdOG
brush in the inkstand.
| AS soon as the merry wren
In the tree doth gaily flute
With wicked eye the little boy
Climbs up to get the fruit
OF the wren aforesaid.
When man is sitting on sofa on
fine evening with pretty girl and the
conversation is beginning to get decid-
edly interesting to botn, it is terrible to
them to have a nail work out of the
plaster and let a chrome of Washing
ton crossing the Delaware down on
their heads. .|.
A woman who can write letter with
out two-thirds of her tongue protruding
through her mouth, is fitted for better
sphere than this.
Tramps would be more numerous
than ever were it not for the self-sacri-
ficing women of the land who marry
and support SO many men.
We should like to kiss the sweet little
creature who said that fire flies were
made by God to "yite re title froggies
to bed" If she is seventeen years old
bring her around all the same.
| The, young man who works hard
saves his money, and gets his hair
shaved short, IS preparing for marriage.
Claude De Haven is now manager of
the "double-headed girl" This position
| is no sinecure. A one-headed girl is
more than some men can manage.
"Well, you'll own she's got a pretty
foot, won't your" eyes, III grant you
that, but then in never made half as
much of an impression on me as the
old mans.
| Uncle Jumbo was caught with
stolen chicken hid in his hat, and when
asked how it came there he replied:
"Fore de Lord, boss, dat fowl must a
crawled up my breeches leg"
No comedian can make as laughable
face as that made by the small boy,
when he brings a Jelly jar down from
the closet shelf and discovers it to be
full Of ten penny nails.
There's good deal of human nature
about strawberries. The big fellows
naturally trample on the little ones, land
as a consequence are always seen at the
top of the box.
A man with q pair of creaky boots
always has music in his sole, and he
generally executes a solo just at the
very moment when the rest Of the con-
gregation have settled down to quiet
nap.
"Ma, lend me a pencil, I want to
draw some ladies'" "Draw some ladies!
Why, Johnny this is Sunday" "Well,
I'll draw them in their Sunday Clothes"
Proposition declined with spanks.
A waiter was told by countryman
to "bring something of what he had"
The waiter brought him regular dim
ner upon small dishes, as the usual
form, and set them around his plate.
The countryman surveyed them care
fully moment, and then broke out:
"Well, l like your samples; now bring
On your dinnerp'
He looked up very humbly, and said
he was sorry to be found in such a
place, but he could assure the court that
he was never in the prisoners box be-
| fore. "Never?" asked the court, with
some severity. "Look here, Judge"
said the culprit, name the fine, but
for heavens sake don't spring that
'Pinafore' gag on fellow"
II is said that the woman who hest
tates is lost. This is not always SO, how
ever. Quite frequently it is the other
woman who is coming right back of
her and doesn't see her stop to pick up
her dress. In one instance last Sunday,
on Main street, the woman who
ran against the other was thrown, and
in falling split a breadth in her own silk
with her own sunshade. Ladies in
pausing to get the proper hold of their
skirts should ring bell Or step out into
the roadway. -Dambury Ne,0s.
Everything, says the Norristown Her
old, is about two weeks late this spring.
Even the sea serpent which regularly
makes it debut at the watering places
about this time OF the year, has not yet
appeared. We cannot decide which
seaside resort to honor with our pres
ence until we know at which one the
sea serpent is going to board.
ave heard son of Erin" says the
Council Bluffs (Ia.) Globe, trying to sur
round Mary and her lamb the other
day, and this is the way he understood it:
s'Begorry Mary had little shape.
| And the wool was white entoirely.
An wherever Mary would stir her stumps,
The young shape would follow her completely
| Evening softly closes A. e.
i On their hinges gay
| s. MyriadS of roses. r-.
While George ice cream proposes
4 szses To Maud, and she saith YES"
/ segss Evening softly closes. = @r.
/ Z The daffodilly dozes # a5$
| Upon the boulder grey
Mid myriads Of roses.
While her father shouts, "Oh, Moses'
/ And booteth George away,
\ IL "a Evening softly closes
Myriads of roses.
4 Astride log sat Sam and another
sinner, engaged in a little game OF
! u1hon q Of oh al