The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-08-06
BRIC-A-BRAC.
lie talks to Young Ladies and
Scholars.

Z 10 me Aditor of the MorrtHtown Gazette:
e From Dan Wester. a good fellou
: and an excellent instructor, has been
, received a catalogue. addressed /:
Col. Bill Bric-a.Brac. As Dan is
grin-master general OF his own com.
; munity, be is privileged. Dan, I
have examined your usual" but
before analysis, please form your
girls In a Macedonian phalanx; I
want TO talk 10 them. Put the FAT
girls on the colors. Rnd let the prst.
ty ones act as officers. Now, ar.
you ready,
Young ladies'. 1 address YOU IN.
der peculiar circumstances OF sm.
barrassment. to-wit: once made a
serious speech 10 one or your sex.
and she took me up so quick I
couldn't sneeze. Gf that young Ia.
dy' looking at me with one eye. aud
snorting ia her handkerchief will
present her seraphlc phiz In a state
OF serenity, I should feel obliaedl.
My honey dears, / observe upon
your muster roll some strange
names. Whether your parents or
Dan put these handles 70 your cog.
mates, matters little. read
Mamie, Birdie, Lcadie. Minerva
Minnie, Pet, Wertlis Truis
Mamie, Jestie, Texas. Nissic
Sadie, Charmie, Georgia, Llza.
Let me give you. as vis.a.vis:
Bobbie, Rooster, Ambrose. Jupiter.
Blllie, Budd, Alphonss. Barionas.
D'chie, hunt Hancock. AhQliab,
Feteie, Kinky-head,
Claiborne, Bazalcel.
Ducks among 10000. / am mis-.
taken II the time be distant when
something, represented by uhito
vest blue tie, a piccadilly collar. aud
hair brushed low on forehead. will
shadow you. 40 'tWers Mary's little
lamb. You will write him pages or
the sweetest gush. and Tor him will
cut from he back OF thine head a
lock OF hair. Your walks may bo
aside rivulets, ripping. eddying,
dancing in the summers sun, across
velvet glades, deoked with many a
"ilding hoWeri perchance through
woodland, glinted and fecked with
the silvery beams Of harvest moon;
where fairies will hover DER your
path In the whispering OF the zephyrs.
Again, back and forth. around and
around some garden, fragrant with
the honey-suckle, the jasmine the
air musical with the low plash OF
fountains and the katy-dids' choral
hymn. You will eqohange lovs.laps
Of shoulder aud elbow. aud you will
turn those blue, brown or black eyes
OF yours up TO the lambs ear, with
an expression 90 mischievous, 90
conhding, that be will stand on his
head, scratch his back. and yol. be-
cause etiquette forbids hugging his
duck Of diamonds. But another
time, sad, solemn time. will come,
when over "pap's" front gate you
will extend that soft. white, shapely
hand, and place 1t In his. 10 say
farewell" when those eyes will be
raised to his In all the purity and
confidence OF Woman's love. and
meet, not the sleeps eyes Of tho
lamb, but the earnest gaze Of a
manly lover. How about those
names, my sublime concentrations OF
partridges and honey, FOR men love
TO caress even the names OF their
sWeethearts. That is all.
Should the officers wish TO imprint
a kiss, fatherly, cousinIy, paroxys.
NAL, or otherwise, upon these sweet
lips, the undersigned is accessiblel
None Well. Dan, distribute your
mob. and haud them this bucket OF
chewing gum, while zoe talk.
like your catalogue. 'Tis neat;
blue, sprinkled with gray specks,
and appears complete. You have a
board Of regents; a faculty with a
Mantle in ~ curriculum. equal TO
a bookstore your location sAlubri-
Gus, and on a great thoroughfarei
refined community; morality and
cheap board great objects or the 10.
stitution aud all that sort OF thing.
Oh yes. Department business i'm.
maculate; novel-reading forbiddeny
girls not allowed to stick books be.
tween mattresses or down their
backs. You examine both places.
don't you, Daniel2 Plain dressing;
address from yourself. All serene.
but two points. 10 which / call atten-
tion, and then closes
A gentleman. IN speaking Of you.
calls you a downright business
man." Fetch him across the fords
OF the Jordan with a clap-board;
you're an upright business man. In
q speech you say: "If parents will
send daughters OF ordinary intellect
to my College, for one year, and let
me say what, when and bow much
they shall study, aud they fail 10
acquit themselves creditably nc tho
end ofthe year. their tuitiou is paid"
Dan, you're sangle.footed. You
fret offend parents by asking them
to send their smart daughters (when
an average mother thinks her geese