The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1879-04-12


burning cheeks felt as If | was the only
person on earth who had treated him with
cruel ingratitudc, and was the very per-
son whom be most loved and cherished.
AT last | went home, tired and sick at
heart; but there was no one to notice was
pale and worn out, no one to get me wine
or soup to revive me, no one to make me
lie down and rest, as he would have done
had he been there. Oh, how | missed
him Was there ever a woman loved and
cared for as | had been? Was there ever
friend so grateful2 / was sure he would
never come back, Why had he gone
away?
And conscience answered, "You drove
him; he gave you all he had to give, and
in return you gave him nothing but cold
looks and unkind words; and so he left
you to seek love and sympathy from his
mother"
This thought almost maddened me. In
fancy | saw her sitting in my place by his
side, loving and caressing him as | had
the best right to love and caress him. |
pic.ared her receiving tenderly the little
loving acts had received so coldly, and
how | was seized with a jealous anger
against her. | mentally accused her Of
estranging my husband from me, and of
trying to win his love from me, as though
his heart was not large enough for both
of us.
When Maud arrived in the afternoon
treated her with long TRADE Of abuse
against mother-in laws in general and my
own in particular vented all the anger
| really felt against myself on the innocent
Mrs. Cartwright.
"Why, Nelly" said Maud, II thought
you liked Mrs Cartwright so much, and
thought her so nice, that you even wanted
her to live with you, only your husband,
very properly, as mamma says, objected"
$50 did" | answered; "but l did not
know then that she would ever entice my
husband away from me in this way, or, Of
course, should never have liked her."
"Really, Nell, you are very hard on the
poor woman; for, as | understand, Mr..
Cartwright went to her of his own free will
because she was not well aud he thought
his company would do her coed, said
Maud.
'Nonsense; | am sure he would have
never have left me alone, unless she had
put him up to it, replied, rather GROSSLY
"The truth is, Nelly, you are so much
in love with your husband that you are
even jealous Of his mother; and you are
making yourself miserable about nothing.
Why, Mr.. Cartwright will be back in a
fortnight, and | dare say YOU will yet a
letter from him every day; so cheer up.
and let us 20 for drive" said Maud.
/ agreed to this plan, aud giving Maud
the reins, | lay back and thought of her
words. Was she right after all? Was |
jealous ? Was | really, as Maud saws, in
love with my husband2 Had only found
it out now when | was deprived of his
company Was this the reason that |
could do nothing but inwardly reproach
myself for my conduct to him? And the
longer l thought the more convinced |
became that Maud was right, that | was
jealous and that | was in love, as she
called it,
This knowledge did not make me hap
pier, for no sooner knew it than louged
to tell him, and make up, so fast as | could
for all Of my former cruelty, for | could
call my conduct by no milder word.
passed sleepless night, and as lay awake
l composed various letters of confession,
which resolved to send the following day;
but when morning came my pride stepped
in and began TO feel it would be impos-
siblo to write, and settled down and to wait
until my husband came home and then tel
him how his absence had altered me.
got up early and walked out to meet
the postman, SO anxious was | to get a
letter from him; it was the first had ever
received from him since our marriage aud
no girl was ever so anxious for or SO
pleased with her first love-letter as | was
over this.
1t was long letter, full of loving mes
sagcs and terms of endearment all of
which cut me to the heart, for they sound
ed like 50 many reproaches; in reality, |
think there was a tone Of gentle reproach
throughout the letter. He gave me an
uNCOuus VI Hio hOtucT . HeditH, DeBBeu me
to write to him few lines every day, but
he said not word about returning.
l spent the morning in answering it,
much to Maud s amusement, who, of course,
thought | was pouring out volumes of love
and complaints of my temporary widow.
hood. After tearing up dozen sheets of
paper | at last sent short note, cool aud
with no allusion 10 my misery. The more
/ tried the more impossible / found it to
write any expressions of love or penitence
though | was hungering to do So.
For a whole week | went ON in this way
suffering more acutely every day. and every
day receiving long. loving letters from Mr.
Cartwright and writing short cool an.
swers
lost NV annette I could moi sleen NJ
night and the torture was endnrinc
made mo look 90 m that Mond became