St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-07-25
SQuibs.

The postage stamp knows its place
after it has been licked once New
Orleans Picayune.
1t is peculiar feature of the butter
market that bad article outranks
good one.
If poverty is a disgrace, mended
stockings are darned shame New
Orleans Picayune.
The Southern Exodus has changed
color. It's the whites who are now flee
ing from Memphis. - philadelphia
ChronicleHerald.
Robert Collyer's skill in riveting the
attention of his hearers is ascribed by
the Kansas City Times to the fact that
he was once blacksmith.
The recent cyclone in Kansas was
quite popular-many persons were re-
ally carried away with it.
People often. complain of hard times
from a mere natural tendency to growl,
but a Georgia darkey, the other day,
said: "Nebber seed sich times since
been born. Work all day and steal all
night, and blessed if can hardly make
livin ~
1t was new girl who was a stranger
in town. The young lady of the house
was much put out by her wanting to go
to church Sunday morning when she
wanted to aid her in dressing. 'I don't
see what you are so anxious to go to
church every Sunday for" she petulant-
ly observed last Sabbath; ''you can't
know any fellow in Danbury."- Dan
bury News.
Listening to the "vOices of nature"
we note that green corn is little husky.
New Haven Register.
This is rather funny advertisement
ga good plain cook wanted-a singer
preterred-at country rectOry." On
showing it to deplorable miscreant
whom have the misfortune to call my
friend, he suggested that the reverend
gentleman might like Grisi cooking,
and prefer PATHS to any other entrees.
Said Mrs. Baxter to her mate
MY dear. where shall we rusticateii
At Saratoga Putin Bay,
Or where, my dear, beg you say"
Then Mr.. Baxter heaved groan,
And answered in a smOthered tone,
MY dear, we cannot, will not roam
BY sc seaside plash or mountain gloam-
Well rusticate this year at home"
Then Mrs. Baxter gave a glare
A shrek went out upon the air
flash, crash, a smash, roar,
A seething, bubbling flood of gore,
And MIR. Baxter was no more.
ITimes-JournaI.
A western man who has been there
writes: "Watkin's elena charming
and 'awfully romantic place where you
can tumble down and break your neck
ut $3.50 day"
The rural female in spite of the free
| SahnAlc ba r
papers still imagines that two railway
seats are necessary for her bundles and
herself, and only yields grudgingly af-
ter fibs and frOwns have failed her.
NorristOwn Herald: Chastine Cox
has brother who is a candidate for the
Virginia legislature, and their poor old
mother must realize the truth of the
Scriptural saying, "One woe doth tread
upon another's heels, so fast they fol-
low" Fortunately she hasn't a third
son to give her heart another wrench
by joining base ball club or entering
the lecture field.
The last Englishman who wrote a
book about America, says that the
White House at Washington is situated
on small farm near the town. Well
have to lick those chaps again before
they can understand this country.
Don Piatt turns from the contempla.
tiOn of crime to observe: A young fell
low, who spent $2,400 to graduate from
Harvard, few years after was post
master in Wyoming territory at $26 6
+ year. Where would he have been but
for his classical education
/ A friend, writing from San Leandro
CAL, tells the following: A cute littl,
five-years-old, whose parents were con
nected with the Presbyterian church
said: "Mamma, was Christ Jew q
Eyes, DEAR" replied the mother. 'sWell
that's strange, now, isn't it, mamma
when his father, God, was Presbyte
t rian.- Gold Hill News.
Club, did you ever stop to think,
said grocer recently, as he measure,
out half peck of potatoes, "that thes
1 potatoes contain sugar, water an,
starch 7" ''Noa, 1 didn't" replied th
q boy, ''but | heard mother say you pu
peas and beans in your coffee and abou
i il pint of water in every quart of mil
b you sOld.p The subject of natura
Il nhllOSnnhu xuao 6ron-1l