Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-09-26

hear the call Of hungry man two feet
and a half away, can hear the jingle OF
quarter clear across q dining-room?
A Lover Of oysters writes to the AL
bany Eapress as follows:
Kind oyster, I've important information,
sing hey, the bully biValve that you are;
You now will make succulent collation.,
sing hey, the merry oyster and the X.
A clergyman won the canoe race at
Lake George the other day. The rest
Of the cloth will please observe that it
was practice, not preaching, that ena-
bled him to come off victorious.
al wish | were you about two hours"
she said, with great tenderness. "And
why, my dear?' he asked with con-
siderable interest. Because" she
SAID, toying aiiectionately with hiswatch-
chain-because then | would buy my
wife new bonnet"
Whenever the whistle footed,
Out from the nearest winder,
There popped pair OF female eyes
TO gather In a cinder.
80 constant was this habit,
On the part of Arabclla,
That they changed her name and call her
| The modern clnder Ella,
-IHaAta constitution.
"lll subscribe for that paper" said
Vanderbilt, laying down an agricultural
journal he had been reading, "its editor
is man Of high nttainments." His
eye had caught an article headed:
"Water Your Stock Regularly. "-Des
Moiaes Register.
Lord Cockburn was seated one day
on the hillside Of Bonally With Il Scotch
shepherd, and, observing the sheep re-
posing iii the coolest situation, he OBJ
served to him: "John, if / were a sheep
| would lie on the other side of the hill "
The shepard answered, cay, my lord,
but if ye had been sheep We wad have
malr sense"
Give your poultry double rations, in
view of Thanksgiving. If intended for
market keep them well supplied with
gravel. 1t helps digest their food.
There is nothing that 80 literally repays
Investment. Gravel can be got for the
hauling, and brings shilling pound
when sold as poultry. The farmer who
sells chicken with an empty gizzard
has mistaken his calling. -Boston Tram
script.
But even i'll the most favorite elite
circles | never heard u better repartee
than one delivered by plain county
man on horseback overtaking an nc
quaintance trudging along on foot.
MAY | ride behind your" asked the
pedestrian. Certainly" replied the
horseman, "but not on the same horse"
"Young man." said stern old pro-
lessor to student who had been
charged with kissing his daughter,
don't get into that habit; you'll find
kissing ~ like eating soup with II fork.
" How so, sir?" asked the student.
+" Because" answered the professor,
You cant get enough of it,"
A small boy with big cent in his
hand stood before n Michigan avenue
grocery for long time the other day
before making up his mind to enter.
When asked what he desired, he in
quired: "If u boy should come here
and get trusted for stick of gum, how
much would it be?" zone cent" was
the reply. "And if boy should come
here with the cash, how much would it
be?" Just the same" Then
guess I'll get trusted, quietly remarked
the tnancler, MS he slipped the cent
down into his pocket.-DetroR Free
Press.
A few days ago Justice of the Peace
John Weber took his little son down to
Toledo on an excursion. The lad inter-
viewed the man at the wheel, and gath
cred much information relative to the
business of steamboating Presently
his father joined him ON the hurricane
deck and asked him how he was enjoy
ing himself. First rate" was the en-
thusiastic reply. Pm going to be y
steamboat man, papa" "All right"
responded the Judge, but you'll have
to study navigation, astronomy, and
divers other sciences in order to be n
good one The lad said nothing at
the time, but appeared to he revolving
the difficulties OF the case in his mind.
Perhaps half III hour later he remarked,
with much gravity, Papa, / guess
won't be steamboat man; I'd rather
be IL Justice Of the Peace; you don't
have to know anything for that. y
DtFoH Free Press.