The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1879-06-12
FACTS AND FANoIES.
TIE WAY SOME EDITORS DO IT


Upon the upper floor,
And quickly grasped his bert exehange,
For he wanted a column more;
He stabbed 1t with his scitsols,
And sloie the funnE stuff
And whistled ne COPY
With all the cre7its scissored of
Then placed his thumb within his vest,
And connivingly did laugh,
And said 80 Ny Teade 9 will never know
But Vhat wrote that paragraph -
But the bilieus Bulge across the street
lAlthough It may e EN- sirsnFe)
Was out three hours in sdvance.
Made up from the same exchange
-HGfsrS0 Observer.
ASAE ANTONIO mOcking-bird whistles
for help 20 naturally tbst policemen run
snd hide themselves on quiet beat.
THE happiest time in boys life is
when he esn smoke cigarettes in the
presence of his father without endRnger-
ing his life.
Now is the season Of the year when
the man who sees the sign, "fTesh paint"
will walk up to the door, leave the
marks of his dirty fingers On it, and go
away muttering to himself, That's So"
A PERSON may learn to play the vio-
lin tolersbly by ear, but when he un~
dertskes to write poetry by ear, be in
variably stumbles. 1t only serves to
make his ears more conspicuous.
AN old bachelor, who particularly
hated literary women, asked an suthOTess
it she could throw any light on kissing.
:" I could" said she, looking archly st
him, ''but I think it's better in the
dark"
"OH," said the afflicted wife, weeping
over his body, he said he would take
off his flannel anyway, and, poor man,
he little thought how soon he would go
to that place where fiannels are never
needed"
AN Illinois man sleeps every night on
8 spot of ground left bare for the purpose
in his house, and has an attendant shovel
clean earth over him, to take the place
of bedclOthes He believes that in this
way he guards against disease.
A FOND mother, hearing that an
earthquake was coming, sent her boys
to a friends in the COUNTRY to escape it.
After a few days she received a note
from her friend, saying: Take yonr
boys away and send along the eaTthH
quake instead"
ELDER SISTER to little one, who SP~
pears to take great interest in Mr.. SkibNr
bens: "C0me, little pet, it is time your
eyes were shut in sleep" Little pet:
4" I think not. Mother told me to keep
my eyes CpeBcO Thoh JOu anu AAA' A~HAS
bens were together"
A DOOR yinedresser of Burgundy drew
from a lottery prize of $50 coo. Thank
fully he gave $40 600 for the building OF
a church in his native village, and then
with his family he went to Paris, where
in one year he spent the remaI2der OF
his money. He then returned to his VII
lage and became sexton of his church.
LET Us Just whisper q word to our
yonng friends: Don't waste any time
'learnin' to write poetry" Become
left-handed batsman. You can name
your own terms. and, by standing In
with managers of the game, make more
money in e single season than the yearly
receipts of any poet who ever wrote an
English verse.-1TOiedo Blade.
"'TIs said that absence conquers love,''
quoted & husband, in writing home to
his vile, from whom he had been some
time away. az hope, dear, it won't be
so in your case" 90, DC" she replied
in her next letter, "the longer you ftay
away the better l shall like you" He
had to take it thus smbiguOusiy, as he
was afraid to risk asking an explanation.
DURING the Schenk beer trial, just
concluded at New London, g rural juror
appealed to the court to know cit the
lawyers could not be stopped from bOth~
ering the Jury" He had become be-
wildered In the maze of technicslities
and subtIeties with which the lawyers
apparently mystifed the case, and he
cried In anguish OF spirit, "them lawyers
come here on purpose to bother and con.
fuse us jurors, don't they Judge ?'
suppose they do, my friend" wearily
answered his honor.
WHEN asked If he was on his way to
Leadville, he ssid he had never hearn
of the place." and when asked where he
was bound fer he said g Back home to
old Missouri. left there just after the
war, when the rebs had everything their
way, and went to Texas. But t'Other
day hearn feller read in a paper that
the thing was all right again, and that
the old bounty on wolf skeIps had been
put back again to So, and 1 thought I
was sure of a living anyhow" Who
says there is no immigration to Missouri
= Newton (Kan) Bee.