The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-04-05

model buy word Cash.
A bad boy-A burglars Jimmy"
The morning noose--Your necktie.
good lad-A policemau's Billy"
An unpleasant boy--A plumbers bill"
Nautical gentlemen should have vave-y
hair. .,.
Quite cold snap" as the fox reparked
when the trap took him in.
When girl hunts husband, the en-
gsgement ring, to be in keeping, should be
''chased"
good intention is very like lady in q
dead faint. lfit is only carried out it viii
be all right.
Aunt Dorothy wants to know IL billiard
matches are any better for home use than
the old-fashioned ones.-Lynn Reporter.
man who enters one end of depot as
his train is speeding out of the other,
resembles q slim meal, in being a little
ate.
New Haven woman has petitioned for
q divorce from her husband because he
has no style about him. 1t is TO be hoped,
fer his sake, that she will get it.
1t is said that the very centre Of the earth
ia the only spot where one can be merry all
the time, and the reason is that, as science
tells u.s. everything there loses it gravity.
There is one virtue possessed by the
co!ored people of this continent which does
not prevail among the white. If you tell
them secret they are sure to keep dark
about it.
A man whose III temper is chronic is
Just like camel They both got their
backs up when they were young, and they
have remained in that condition ever
since.
with all thy false I love thee STILL"
murm'red young man, as he calmly
handed his girl tho artificial teeth that
she had sneezed into his ap.-Rockiand
Co&,icy
A sharp thirsty man now walks into q
barroom and asks if he can put up his
silk umbrella for drink The bartender
acquiesces, the chap gets o drink, raises his
umbrella aud walks out.
The little one made beautiful answer
without Knowing it. What. Kiss such a
homely man al papa?" said the mother in
fun. "Oh, but papa is real pretty in his
heart, " was the reply.
Truth, pure, mighty, strong armed beau-
tiful truth, how we do love it! This
paragraph was not written with the object
OF creating laughter. but to give general
tone and stability to this column.
A waiter uncorked bottle of wine in
Paris cafe. ''How long did YOU saw this
wine had been bottled?" Fourteen wears"
"Ah. that is long time for fly to live;
see, he is swimming round quite lively"
Spelling matches are very de,noralizing.
Jones Ind been to one the night before.
His wife is awakened during the early
morning by some noise below stairs.
John! John! burglars!" she called,
shaking him. 'Burglas-b-u-r-g-l-a-r.s-
burglars, said he, and rolled over to sleep
again.
A lady taking tea at small company,
being very fond Of hot rolls. was asked 10
have another. ''Really. cannot" she
modostly replied: II don't know how
many I've eaten alreadyn IT do" unex-
pectedly cried a juvenile upstart, whose
mother had allowed him a seat ut table,
you've eaten eight; I've been counting"
-1ranSertpt.
Habit" is hard to overcome. If you
take off a letter it does not change "a
bit" If you take off another you still have
a bit" left. II you take off another the
whole Of 1T" remains If you take off
another it is not It" totally used up. All
of which goes to show that if you wish to
be rid Of habit you must throw it off
altogether
'They tell me that times are getting bet
ter" growled an old lady in the post Office
recently. Here they are asking iust as
much for stamps 10 send letter to Inv son
in Virginia as they did during the war"
The clerk explained that the price was not
raised when everything else went up,
which seemed to soothe her.
EVERY man should provide literally for
his family" says Mr. Smith. Ever since
my marriage have provided my wife with
a sewing machine, surmounted by fine
mirror" what is the mirror for?" in
qured party present "Well." said the
y. 81 An 4.