Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1879-05-07

hdi'd-pIsai 10
The sudden flight of colored people
ir@m the south must be the work of
some egro-man-s!I. - Ui,:csnqan Sltur-
day Night
Ninety per cent. of the pulp of an
orange is water. This explains why
stepping On the skin brings to mind II
dam. -Detfoit Free Press.
Mrs. All 10y, Chinese woman of
Sacramento, Is coming east to lecture.
mere Is no happiness without some
All 10y, it seems.
Photographer" You look sober:
smile little He smiles. aud the
photographer says, mot so much, sir;
my instrument is to small to encom-
pass the opening.
A young man in Nebraska sent an
oter OF marriage to n girl whom he
iancled, and IN reply received this tele-
gram: Come on with your minister"
" le are the children of the devil"
Was the text Of divine in the morn
ing, and IN the afternoon he said "Chil-
dren, obey your parents
young man IN New Milford, in
spirit of reckless desperation married a
girl in the midst of house-cleaninc -
hm5ury Noss.
an enthusiastic Utica communist
hates kings and arlstocrats SO heartily
that he proposes to put nm end to the
royalty on patents. - Utica Observer.
Hang that gate" yelled old HEX
DRY, rs he scraped his shins against it
IN the dark. And after supper he
went out and hung it.
An excited old man came in yester-
day to inform lis that he had seen six
women sit whole hour in social con-
versatlon without once referring TO what
they wore.
About the guiltiest looking people in
tins world are man accused of II crime
of which he is innocent and newly
married couple trying to pass for yeter-
ans.
Tongue cannot tell nor words express
the astonishment of the crippled sol
der who awoke to find his wife using
his wooden leg to pound the beelsteak
for breakfast.
at is a standing rule Of our church."
said one clergyman to another, ''lor the
sexton to wake up any man he may
see asleep" 81 think" returned the
other, THAT it would be much better
Tor the sexton, when man goes to
sleep under your preaching, to wake
you upl'
What is love?" inquired a poet
whose verses appear in the Philadelphia
North american. The idea of . poet
not knowing what love is It's so long
ago that we almost forget, but SO far IS
we can remember it was a sort Of heart
toothache,-Ne,g York Commercial Adj
uer3ser.
The other dey ~ rnob rode io,o Fay
| ettevllle, Ark, and riddled II newspaper
office with buckshot The provocation
IS unknown to us, but no doubt the last
issue of the paper said something about
winter lingering in the lap of spring"
supplemented with the "hardly ever"
Joke.
At n dinner-table, not long since, a
lady asserted with good deal of
vehemence that she never ate pastry.
What never" exclaimed gentleman
ut her side-expectipg, of course, The
usual reply. Judge Of HE surprise
when she remarked quietly, and utter.
~ innocent Of any knowledge Of Pima
fore "Well, sometimes" -BoSl0 1id,'-
script.
An exchange tells Of girl out west
who broke of the engagement because
The fellow was so bandy-legged thai she
couldn't sit in his lap. She acted too
hastily. She should have remembered
that a friend in kneed is friend in
deed.
Thank God for free gospel" said
an old church member suddenly car
ried away by the eloquence of the
preacher. Give and twenty years
have been church member, and it
has not cost me as many coppers."
MAY the Lord forgive your stiogy soull"
said the preacher.
care you veteran we asked of
Fritz; who had been talking Of military
matters. at is no beesness NIT you,
Voter run or node" cries Fritz, evil
IDENTITY mistaking our question; Il fight
NIT all de great shenerals mineself al
ready, and vetter run you makef dem
told you, guess not, amt it," And it
was at least ten minutes ere we could
molly the old fellow-Boston Tran
script
An English physician says the idea
that early rising promotes health and
longevity is all fooIishness. We discov-
cred this fact some years ago. Wegot
up before day to ran to n fire,
when we went down the stairs in too
much OF suddenness, and if it didn't
knock ten years off our longevity, we
at least felt very unhealthy for about
| ,u,a ,,onl,s N1.n;.yn,,a, U.,aIJ