South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1879-05-30

"A newly married lady was telling
another how nicely her husband could
write. "Oh, you should just see some
OF his love letters" Eyes, 1 know" was
the freezing reply, eve got bushel Of
EN- IN my trunk. bridgeport Standard.
n frenchman having heard the phrase
I've got some other fish TO fry," very
readily learned its application. One eve
ning, after escorting young lady home,
and being invited to walk in he thought
OF the above expression, and excused
himself by saying, 81 tank you,-I must
90 cook some fish,
One of the greatest desires of children
Is to ride. This was forcibly illustrated
IN THIS city last week. A sprightly lit
tie i've year old boy told his kind and
lndulgent grandmother, a venerable and
excellent lady, that he wished she would
die, so he could ride with her in the
hearse to the cemetery. The little limo.
cent thinks it would be Jolly" to ride to
the cemetery in the plumed hearse.-
Staunton Spectator.
Young ladies' who wish TO have small
mouths are advised to repeat this at fire.
quent intervals during the day: Fanny
Finch fried five foundering frogs for
Francis Fowler
Those young ladies at fairs who sell
'hVe cent pincushions for So ought to be
arrested for robbing the males.
ONE OF Mr.. LINcoLN's PARABLEs.-
AT the entertainment given under the
auspices of the Hebrew Young Mems
Association on Sunday night Rev. Dr.
Szoid, rabbi, of Hanover Street Svna-
gogue, delivered u lecture on Abraham
Lincoln, IN which he related quite num-
Der of short anecdotes CONCERNING the
great man. Dr. Sold said that Mr.
Lincoln had the most remarkable facul-
ty for solving difficult problems by tell
ing simple little stories or parallels. He
compared him to Alexander the Great
cutting the Gordian knot, for he would
unravel the most intricate question by
the sword of his sharp, keen and incis
I've wit. 1t was not Mr.. Lincolns ma.
ture, he said, to argue point, but when
persons would come to him with com
plants he often gave them his views on
the subject in short and comprehensive
parable. AS for instance, some gentle
mon from the West had called at the
White House, had been arguing with Mr.
Llncon IN an excited manner about the
omissions and commissions of the Gov
eminent. He heard them patiently for
time, and finally said: Gentlemen.
suppose all the property yon were worth
was IN gold; and you had put it in the
hands of Blondin to carry across the Nj.
agara Falls on = tight rope, would YOU
shake the rope while he was passing over
1T, or keep shouting to him, ''Blondin,
stoop little more" eco little fastcrP"
No, L am sure YOU would not. You
would hold your breath as we'll as your
tongue, and keep your hands off uutil he
was safely over. Now, the Government
IS III the same situation, and is carrying a.
cross a stormy ocean an immense weight;
untold treasures are in its hands it is
doing the best it can don't badger it
keep silence, and it VIII set you safely
over" - Boh. Amcr.
THE PROMISED LAvD.- "Gcm'lcn. re
been rccdin' a heap in de papers about
dat exodus from de Souf," began Broth
cr Gardner as the triangle called to or
der. thousands of cul'd folks an on
de wing for dc Norf an West, spectin
TO find the promise lands and nevis to
pillow it. / tell you dnrs gwino to be a
heap Of knowledge gained By them cxo-
dus niggcrs Dcy has got de idcah dat
off up dis way nobody has to work, an
dat folks has only to draw checks on de
bank TO get all dc money dey want
When deg strikes dis region and disk.
yer dat it takes money to bny bacon,
an dat ten pounds O bacon don't obcr.
l,co1tI.1,, g., Al