The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1879-09-11

pared with which the exercises of an
ordinary circus are tame and uninter-
esting. The naturalists gathered
at Saratoga watch with breath
less emotion as the professor
shows what the cat will do when
currents of electricity are sent
through varions portions of the brain.
A chart was exhibited showing what
would happen when certain organs
were thus brought into activity. When
spot number me was stirred up the cat
unconsciously advanced its hind leg as
If to kick, and when the current was
passed through spot number two SINH
lar demonstrations were observed in re-
ference to n of the front legs. Several
other evidences of the connection of the
brain with the kicking and scratching
apparatus were in due course observed
with great pleasure by the naturalists,
the cat being all the time happily un-
conscious Of the aid he wa rendering
to the cause Of science. But it was not
until the scientists came to the spot
marked number nine that Thomas did
his best. On the proper application of
the electric current to this spot there
was a prompt and vicious opening of
the jaws. The mouth yawned wide,
like a chasm. The tail punched out to
a diameter greatly in excess of that ex-
hibited by a restful Thomas cat. With
irritated nostril and flashing eye and
quickened lip the cat spit and scream
ed and yowled, as he had doubtless
yowled and screamed and spit many and
many a time when with others Of his
race engaged in concert performances
on somebody's back shed. 1t was the
work of only a few moments to take
the ether out of their cat, fix the top OF
his skull neatly on his head and sew up
his fur. Conscious by this time that
he had paid valued tribute to science,
and at no great personal inconvenience
to himself, he walked away and sought
refreshment. Both the cat and his
observers should be well satisfied with
this proceeding. The fact is now well
established that the motions and prac-
tices of cats can be regulated and many
of the Objectionable features of their
midnight prowls modified to such an
extent that the cat will no longer be
such an unpopular animal as in the
nights that are past. AL that is necess-
airy is to attach a battery and a wire
to each cat who goes out for the even
ing. A small battery, which the cat
can wear suspended from a collar
around his neck, will answer every
purpose, as only a weak electric current
is required. The wire must terminate
at the part of the head which is nearest
the portion of the brain to be operat-
ed upon. If a cat is desired simply to
scratch in the garden with one or both
hind legs, the location of the terminus
of the wire can be so arranged. If it
is desired to make a gentle mewing so
to attract other cats with a view OF
having somebody shoot them or fire tor
pedoes at them, the proper shifting of
the apparatus will be a matter of easy
practice. But if some mischievous in
mate Of a boarding house wants a noc
turnal demonstration of great power,
let him rig the wire SO as to drive the
current into number nine The yowl-
ing and other warlike demonstrations
which will follow will be sufficient to
keep the neighborhood lively all night
and to fill the back yards in the vicinity
with b~oot-jacks, ink bottles, soap cups
and other misdirec ted missiles.
Thus is the cat made tributary to
science. The professor further says
that cats will answer for brain expert
ments every purpose that has hereto
fore been served by the use of human
bodies. AL that is necessary is to
freeze the cat solid and to cut him into
sections. The nights are not yet cold
enough for this, but they will be in a
few weeks. Let the battery be adjusted
on the cat SO as to make him howl.
Then let him be turned out of doors
ween the thermometer is at zero. 1t
may be that with the freezing cat we
shall also have a series of frozen bowls.
These can be hung up all winter and
thawed out when wanted for musical
effect or for further demonstrations in
science.