davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-02
Twain, Halstead and Clean Shirt

~You sailed on the same ship with
Murat Halstead, of Cincinnati, did you
not, Mr.. Twain?'
The same craft, all honor to her
(Mr. Twain lifted his hat reverently)
carried U.S."
1T was said at the time that you in
weighed Mr.. Halstead into making the
voyage r. by 81; promising him free use of
Well"-Mr. Twain spoke leisurely-
81 did tell Murat that I'd lend him a
clean shirt. You see, he didn't expect
to go. His wife was going and he'd sort
OF come down to see her safely launched.
You remember the ship ran away with
a party OF excursionists who had got
aboard to bid poor Mr.. Taylor good-by,
and was obliged to anchor off the Hook
all night. During the evening Murat
sort of got his sea-legs on and says he,
Clemens Che always calls me Clemens,
says he, Clemens, if you'll lend me a
shirt I believe I'll go across All
right says I, I'll do it, So Murat he
fixed things with the Captain and
stayed aboard. We got along pretty
well with winds a-middling, about nor
norwest by sou, till we come to latitude
36, longitude 49,, and then Murat
wanted his clean shirt-that is, he
wanted mine. It was about three bells
from noon when took that garment to
the door of Murat's state-room. Here,
says I, clothe yourself like Prince of
the realm At eight bells Mr.. Halstead
came out of his apartment with his coat
buttoned up to his chin and his face as
red as red, red rose. He wore his coat
buttoned up to his chin all the rest Of
the voyage, and never so much as got
glimpse of my shirt. There was a
kind of rumor on the ship that Murat
never wore that shirt or any other shirt.
I don't know how true it was, but when
came to study the thing it did look to
me as if I'd put rather tough problem
to the editor of the Cincinnati Conn.,
noercidl, for his neck measures Is inches,
while mine never footed up more than
Is, even when I had the mumps."-I7a-
tervieaU IN Neav York World.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-02

an ingenious gentleman an idea. He
would drink three petitis verres. then
pour in water, so that it would appear he
had but one. Hc thought nobody OBJ
served the mean trick.
After two or three days this customer
found the brandy very feeble, and he
called the garcon.
"Garcon,'' he said, what is the matter
with this brandy?''
"It is the same, sir
That cannot be. Day before yesterday
it was delicious; to-day it is hardly
stronger than water =.
II have the honor t. inform monsieur
that it is not only the same brandy, but
that have carefully given monsieur
every day the same BOTTLE"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-02
A Midnight Vigil.

The night is dark, the air is raw and
chill and damp, the storm is raging. An
old and e'ninently-respectable citizen,
out on North hill, is sleeping the sleep
of the just with the snore of the
wicked, and the private clocks, On their
respective brackets and mantels
throughout the city, for Burlington has
no town clock, are tolling, as well as
they know how to toll it, the hour O,
l 80 q. m.
A violent jangling at his door-bel
awakes the eminently-respectable citi-
zen.
Shuddering, he crawls out of bed;
muttering, he gropes across the floor.
Swearing under his breath, he falls
over rocking-chair.
At last he finds a match, lights a
lamp, and, descending the stairs, opens
the hall door, and admits gust of
wind that blows out the lamp, and a
torrent of rain that drenches him to the
skin.
what is wanted?" the respectable
citizen asks.
care you the resident owner of this
property?" promptly inquiries the
caller.
Il am, wonderingly replies the emf
nently-respectable citizen.
"Were you in bed when rang?" !
Il was," replied the eminently re-
spectacle.
"That was right" cheerfully exclaims
the caller; "that is the place for man
of your age at this time of night. I
am surprised to see you out of it. Get
back to it, and pleasant dreams"
All is silence after the crash that en-
sues, save the hooking smile that dies
away in the distance. The fragments
of the lamp that are revealed on the
sidewalk by the coming of the dawn
Indicate either that the lamp fell out Of
balloon at the height Of about twenty
nine miles, or was hurled at some OBJ
ject with great force. When will the
mystery be solved?-Ba1rli1agto1a
HQ1UE-Eue.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-02
Oratorical Success.

The purpose of great speech is to
persuade men. It may be brilliant and
eloquent, SO much SO that men will say
OF it, that is oratory," and 20 on about
their business. When men act as 81
they had not heard word of speech.
it is failure, even if it is thought wor-
thy of place among specimens of elo-
quence."
"A great Speech" said O'Connell,
speaking of addresses to jury, lis a
very fine thing; but, after all, the YER
dict is the thing"
Prof. Mathews, from whose book on
"Oratory and Orators" we quote O'Con-
nells remark, insists that no one would
discover the perfect orator, if such there
could be, while he was speaking. BE
tells two anecdotes to illustrate his as
sert;on:
When Chief Justice Parsons, of Mass
achusetts, was practicing at the bar, a
farmer, who had often heard him speak,
was asked what sort of pleader he was.
"Oh, he is good lawyer and an ex-
cellent counsellor, but poor pleader,"
was the reply. -.
"But does he not win most of his
causes?"
Eyes, but that's because he knows the
law, and can argue well but he's no Or
ator."
A hard-headed bank President once
congratulated himself, in the presence
of Mr.. Mathews, on resisting, as fore
man OF jury, the oratorical blandish-
ments of Mr.. Choate. p"
"Knowing his Skill" said the hard
headed man, sin making white appear
black, and black white, Imade up
my mind at the outset that he should
not fool me. He tried all his arts, but
it was of no use; I just decided accord
ing to the law and evidence"
"Of course" answered Mr.. Mathews
you gave your verdict against Mr.
Choate's client" al"
why, no; we gave verdict for his
client; but then we couldn't help it; he
had the law and the evidence on his
side"
It never occurred to the bank Presi-
dent or to the farmer that Choate and
Parsons were after verdicts, not admira-
ton. And they got them, because they
sunk the orator into the advocate.
"Thou madest people say, How well
he speaks!'" said Demosthenes to Cice.
70, in Fenelon's catalogues of the Dead"
''but I made them say, Let us march
against PhilipY"
That was true, but it required many
passionate appeals from this prince Of
orators before the Athenians 77ttered
that cry.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-02
The Waiter Caught Him.

When they serve you brandy in Pa ri
it is brought in little caraffe marked of
on TIE sides, so as to show exactly how
many glasses are taken out. When you
come to pay, the garcon has only to look
at the caraffe, and the amount remaining
tells how much has been used. This gave
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-02
How to Spell Isaac.

Mr.. Isaac Staples, of Saltwater
Mimi, is lumber-dealer who has an
extensive correspondence. His book
keeper has made memorandum of the
fact every time the given name of Mr..
Staples has been misspelled in letter
addressed to him. The correspondence
has already yielded the following fifty
one erroneous spellings, which will be
read with delight by the spelling re-
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-02

The mother and household, hearing the
noise, rushed up as quickly as possible.
The mother was the first to enter the
room, and, being q quick-witted woman,
at once comprehended the situation.
She flew to her daughter, and, angrily
ordering her to be quiet and not laugh
at her friends misfortune, she pressed
her to her bosom, and, hastily tear
ing off wreath and veil, dropped
them on the floor and kicked them
under the bed; then, calling assistance,
she carried the girl into another
room, and put her to bed. The doctor,
who had been at once sent for, ordered
her to be taken from home without de-
lay, and they started as soon as was
possible. She perfectly recovered; but,
strangely enough, could never call to
mind the startling events of her return
TO life. She afterwards married the
gentleman who was the hero of the first
story. Her poor friend, when extricated
from her unpleasant position, was quite
delirious; she had a nervous fever, of
which she nearly died, and she never
entirely recovered from the shock her
friends sudden return to life had given
her,"
On writing to the lady who related
these anecdotes, for permission to pub
lish, she says: "You are at liberty to
make what use you like of our family
story, on condition you do not mention
names of family or places; but you may
add that all three who were so nearly
buried alive lived to be very old-my
father to "a, my mother and aunt to rs
retaining their health, rare intelli-
gence, and to wonderful extent their
personal beauty, to the last"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-11-02

A CLERGYMAN of my acquaintance
told me that he once visited a lady I'M
his parish who had just lost her hus-
band; in order to offer consolation, and
upon her earnest inquiries as to the re-
union of families in heaven, he strongly
asserted his belief in that fact; and,
when she asked with anxiety whether
any time must elapse before friends
would be able to find each other in the
next world, he emphatically said: NO!
they will be united at once" He was
thinking of the happiness of being able
to offer the relief of such faith when
she broke in upon such meditation by
excla;ming sadly: "Wel, his first wife
has got him, then, by this time"
COUNSEL Ito witness You're nice
sort Of fellow, you are!" Witness
"l'd say the same Of you, sir, only I'm
On my OATH"
AN English workman thus testifes in
the English Mechanic: I'm very many
things our manufactures are not fit to
be shown in the same street with Amer
lean ones; and this is not merely in
knick-knacks and little ingenuities, as to
which it is tolerably evident we have
90 pretension to enter into comparison.
[ only invite any one who doubts my
statement to compare such rough,
common matter as cut nails Our
rubbish, with half of them split up,
which tends to turn round in the wood
and split it, and with conical heads,
looks very poor against the straight,
clean nails, with well-formed heads,
which the Americans used to send to
Australia, and which, when I had once
seen them, prevented me from ever buy
ing an English nail again as long as 7
could get the American oues.n
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-05-14
How George Honey Hunted Bats.
Howard Paul in American Register.


Here is story far funnier than most
of the anecdotes one finds under the
caption of mouvezzas la main in the
Journal Anausa1t or the Figaro. It is
story of George Honey, the distinguish
ed actor, who, many years ago, while on
a tour in the provinces, had taken
lodgings in d humble house somewhat
the worse for wear. Soon after retiring
he was awakened by huttering noise
as of bird around the curtain of his
bed. He sprang up, struck a light and
saw dark little creature with wings
laundering about the room. Not being
well acquainted with natural history, he
did not recognize it as bat, but deter
mined to catch it, if possible, and ex
anime it carefully in the morning.
Taking up a felt hat, he began the
hunt, and tried to capture the intruder
for long time in vain, but at last he
bounced upon it, took it from under
the hat, shut it up in drawer, listened
to it's struggles to escape-wanting to
be sure that he had really caught land
went to bed dreaming of flying dragons.
But he was not destined to sleep long.
Hardly had ne dozed off when further
hutterlng awakened him, and lighting
another match he found another bat.
After this one he had another hunt,
caught it, but it in the drawer with its
brother, and again went to bed. Again,
however, he was awakened in a similar
manner; bats came not in single spies,
buff the expression be pardonable-
in "battallions." Mr.. Honey hunted
diligently, making quite collection Of
specimens, and put them all with great
care in the drawer. Heated with the
chase, he then opened the window, and.
tired out, at last enjoyed a few minutes
sleep. Waking with the morning light
he jumped out of bed and opened the
drawer very cautiously to look for his
bats; but 10 and behold there were no
bats there; he opened the drawer wide
and then discovered that it had no back
to it. He had, in fact, been passing all
his night in catching the same bat,
which had flown out at the back of the
drawer as soon as he had put it in at
the front, and when the window was
opened had finally escaped.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-05-14
Nutlnegs.

Nutmegs grow On trees which look
like pear trees, and are generally over
twenty feet high. The flowers are very
much like the lily Of the valley. They
are pale yellow and very fragrant. The
nutmeg is the seed of the fruit, and the
mace is the thin covering over this seed.
The fruit is about as large as a peach.
When ripe it breaks open and shows
the little nut inside. The trees grow on
the islands Of Asia, and in tropical
America. They bear fruit for seventy or
eighty years, having ripe fruit upon
them at all seasons. A fine tree in ia
maica has over thousand nutmegs on
it yearly. The Dutch used to have all
the nutmeg trade, as they owned the
Banda Islands, and conquered all the
other trades, and destroyed the trees.
To keep the price up, they once burned
three piles of nutmegs, each Of which
was as large as a church. Nature did
not sympathize with such meanness.
The nutmeg pigeon, found in all Indian
Islands. did for the world what the
Dutch had determined should not be
done, carried those nuts, which are her
food, into all the surrounding countries,
and trees grew and the world has the
benefit.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-05-14
Sacrifices to Fashion.
London Letter.

The other day I came upon new
store in the city. The windows were
fairly dazzling with color. A stray sun
beam falling upon them, the shop front
flashed back a rainbow Of blue and red
and green and yellow, indigo and YER
million, lumber and black and white. /
paused to gaze. 1t was a store de-
voted to the modern fashion of trim
ming ladies' hats, bonnets and dresses
with birds and butterflies. All the cor
ners of the earth had been ransacked
to satisfy this new craze. Whole birds,
birds wings, tails, breasts, were here
by the thousand. Butterflies and hum
ming birds We'd with each other in
wealth of color and beauty of arrange
ment. 1t is true there are lots of stores
in London devoted to specimens Of nat
ural history, where these things may
be purchased: but here is a shop full OF
them, not as studies or specimens, but
as articles Of adornment. Travellers
and others tell me that bird-slaughter
as trade has now reached proportions
which threaten.th the very extinguishment
of some Of the rarest as well as gayest
species. One can understand this when
it is stated on authority that a German
dealer in this city recently received
$4,000 dead humming birds, $4,000
aquatic birds Of several varieties, and
100000 pairs of wings. This is to one
dealer alone; while at the same time
all other dealers are increasing their
orders to foreign shippers. There is
something very sad in these figures.
Surely, our women cannot think about
the subject, or they would never pro-
mote this sacrifice of bird-life for a
mere freak of fashion. The rage for
feather trimmings has almost annihi-
lated the ribbon trade of Coventry.
Men, women and children in that once
busy city are starving because fashion
has introduced a new style Of ornament.
So that to please the latest whim, birds
must die and children starve. You may
stand con the bridge at Coventry, now,
and see scores OF people lettering there
who, but for the supersedure of ribbons
by feathers, would be busily at work in
the locked up mills. a
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-05-14

than Il pacing horse. A good trainer
can train a horseIto the saddle gaits so
that these will never conflict with each
other, and on the proper application of
the bride, hand and the legs the horse
will change his gait at any moment.
Country Ge7tlenaan.f glt ba1rlr
+, BREAD-MAKING.W WHEAT. In reference
to q statement Of an Iowa correspon-
dent of the Prairie FARMER as to the
bread-makipg power. of Minnesota and
other reputable spring-wheat over win
ter wheat, and that Minnesota wheat
will make 270 to $50 pounds of bread
to the barrel of -four, while Michigan
wheat (winter) will make but 24O
pounds, an Ohio correspondent OF Lefeps
hliAing Ne,Us says: cit has long been
we'll known that wheat consisting en-
tirely, or almost SO, of starch will not
make nearly SO much bread as that
containing a larger proportion ofgluten.
1t is a we'll recognized fact that Michi-
gan wheat is almost entirely composed
OF starch, and that accounts for the
smaller amount of bread to the barrel
of flour. The Fultz wheat now being
introduced into this section has little or
no gluten in it, It's largely grown in
the Cumberland valley, Pennsy wanna,
and has been .ruinous to to, the -four
trade of the millers. The Clawson
wheat is also being introduced hers,
and is very popular with farmers on
account of its prolific yield, but it, like
the Fultz, is almost if not entirely des-
titute of gluten. Il The flour lacks
strength, and will therefore make but a
small yield OF bread and is universally
condemned by good bakers, and not
only on that account, but because it
will not make large sized loaf in pro-
portion to its weight A choice grade
of flour cannot be made of. either Fultz
or Clawson wheat. This is the univer-
sal testimony of all who have tested
them. In connection the Prairie Farmer
may add that at the late session of the
Pennsylvania Miller's Association, after
prolonged discussion, it was resolved
to discourage the cultivation Of Fultz
and Clawson wheat, and to recomm end
Lancaster, Old Mediterranean, Bough-
ton, Shoemaker, Deal, Wick and Can
aQa w mite. .l-Jr. + .....I.. .-"..
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-05-14

persuasive manner and apparent sim
cerity, he succeeded in persuading her
to take q seat near the bedroom door
and listen to his history. aarro'T
A"Your speaking of our childhood
and school days touched the chord on
which my, sweetest memories vibrate.
l was an apt scholar, and after listening
to defamation one day, mother ex-
claimed, you'll make a statesman,
Sammy, and how proud and happy [
will be, to be called the mother of such
a mani" This scene rose before me as
[ listened to you; again conscience OBJ
tanned the mastery of evil nature, and
/ determined to go back and resume
the profession of which discourage
ments had wearied me-" $. - aA
When the storm had abated, he was
about to take his departure, when Mrs.
Adams exclaimed, 81 shall be more
afraid than ever to find myself alone
after all this excitement" EI&8H
"Will you feel any safer in my pres
ence?" asked the robber with a smile.
81 believe | will, she answered.
81 am a strange protector" he re-
piled, "but if you wish it | will remain
Vii llOIHluS' - f ..t #ft
He remained until daylight, and after
partaking of the breakfast which his
hostess prepared for him, he went his
way. -sAsa18 1T sue. A@a
Years afterward, while visiting friends
in an eastern state, Mrs. Adams went
to hear distinguished speaker who
was travelling through that portion of
the country. Great was her surprise to
recognize in the eloquent and honored
gentleman who rose to address the audi
ence, the mysterious guest of that m em-
orable night. ...a....
A sudden pallor overspread his fea-
lures as he recognized her, but he made
his way to her side after the first burst
of applause had greeted him at the
close of his speech. ..'.
"You see how your prayer has
changed my destiny" he said, in a low
tone. ...... ...
81 congratulate you," she replied.
II did not know that you was &C
quainted with Hon. Samuel Forest"
said her friend. st.H ##@ |.E .
81 passed one Of the most profitable
evenings of my life at her house when
| was out vest" said the distinguished
gentleman. 54 y
I A few days later Mrs. Adams received
a beautiful bracelet, with the words in
scribed, "From the Mother of Samuel
Forest. III
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-05-14
A Story About the Car.
New York Times

Sovereisns and princes are inevitably
the heroes of curious stories whose
truth or falslty can hardly ever be de-
termined. These are apt to be of the
romantic order, because romance, much
as we may affect to despise it, always
has its attractions. If we do not be-
lieve in it, at least it sounds well. The
Gar Alexander has recently been
made the theme of love adventure,
which the gossips of Petersburg aver to
be founded on fact, if not entirely true.
For eight or ten years he has been de-
vOtely attached to a young woman of
high birth, conspicuous beauty, and
rare accomplishments, and his attach
ment, as is usual IN such cases, has
been fully recicropated. He loves her
still, and his conscience has been sorely
troubled that he could not relieve her
from the dishonor Of being his mis-
tress. He could not marry her for
reasons of state, even if he had not
another spouse. In this quandary, he
has called upon his spiritual advisers to
contrive some method by which she
could appear to be his wife without
being actually such. How it was ar
ranged is mystery; but it has been by
some diplomatic and theological hocus-
pocus. A religious ceremony has been
performed by which the lady is entitled
to consideration as a connubial partner,
and yet does not interfere with the
matrimonial right Of Mrs. Romanoff.
The ears conscience is said to be great
ly relieved by his cunning device. He
says he has at last done his duty by the
woman he has sincerely loved for years.
How, is not to be understood; but it is
pleasant to think that the emperor has
any conscience about a matter which
most sovereigns are wont to regard
with supreme indifference.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-05-14
Travelling with a Mailman.
London Times.

A correspondent describes a scene he
witnessed on Friday morning last in one
of the carriages of the mail train from
Calais to Paris: cat Calais, mailman,
accompanied by an attendant, was
thrust into a compartment Of which [
was unfortunately, an occupant. He
behaved somewhat boisterously before
reaching Boulogne, but it was only after
leaving that place that he proved to be
a maniac, as he suddenly seized the
gentleman sitting next to him by the
throat, and kicking violently at the face
of the man opposite The attendant
was too scared to exert any, influence,
and it was only after a severe struggle
that our combined efforts overpoweied
the maniac,-a heavy-built, powerful
man,-but not until he had greatly dis
figured two of the passengers. Hewas
ultimately taken out at .Abbeville, but
we had to guard him for more than halt
an hour, having securely fastened him
with cords and bag-straps. 1 W ish to
bring to notice the fact that the cord,
which one fondly imagines will bring
instantaneous aid in case of danger, was
used in vain, and one of the passengers
had finally to grOpe his way to the
guards van for assistance. Had we not
been fortunate to have at least one pow
erful passenger, | am convinced the
maniac would have strangled the first
object of attack before assistance could
have arrived"