River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-06-12
Wit and Hun0r.
There was an old man in Montana
At one gulp tried to gorge a banana,
Ii stuck in his throat.

! Ii stuck in his throat
And he straightway did float
To the beautiful land of Hosanna
| aYouth is the saucy-age of life.
Did you ever have pig invite you to
his sousel
'Tis butter step from the cream pan to
the churn.
Song of the dry goods clerk Swing
ing in delaine."
The airs in an opera singers head are
all numbered.
/ A gambler would rather let you out
than let you win.
A chattle mortgage is lean and hungry
"Cash-us'
When you want to raise the wind, the
m illion-aif is pretty nice.
Wine Is the KEY which fits the paddock
OF mans secrecy. So is beer.
Always keep your boots clean, foI
cleanliness is a divine attri-boot
The man who was lost in sumbcr prob
ably found his way out on nightmare
Landlords are loosing so much by THEN
tenants that they ought to get up an in
sure-rents company
The force Of habit made Scranton
barber ask while shaving corpse
''Does the razor hurt?"
We know fisherman who is said to he
crazy, but we aIe prepared to prove that
he is a seine man.
Ten to one that the woman who says
your children are not "half raised raises
her own youngsters by the ears.
They say a strong grasp Of the Ihand
betokens strong heart What a magni
iicent heart lobster must have.
Speaking of generosity, you wouldn't
call a man who had gouged piece out
of the bottom Of his foot whole soled
fellow, would you?
Man can do many thing, but there is
one thing he cannot do; he can't button
ON new collar, just after cutting his
thumb-nails without looking up in the
air
"The reason | got my ears boxed,
| said johnny. twas cause when the mo-
Their said a neighbOr had borrowed hen
of her, / said the lent-hen season had ar
rived
Little Nephew what are fowls
auntie2H Auntie -"Creatures with wings
dear. such as hens and ducks
Little Nephew Angels are fowls too
aren't they, Auntie2n
When "a man does us a kindness we
call him a brick, when he does us an
unkindncss we want to hit him with
one
An appreciatiye mind can throw q
world of pathos into very ordinary state
ment eyes, " said he, leaning over the
fence in communion with a neighbor
s'she is dead. She died Just as she got
ready for spring cleaning. tbs terrible
| gentleman, who has JUST had fam
lily tomb constructed, takes his wife t
the cemetery, and she recoils with hor
ror on beholding cut in the stone; "TC
the memory of my beloved wife-eterna
regrets" "But am not deadp she
cries, Il know it darling, but | wish tt
please you by showing you what my affec
ton would lead me to say when you die
Remark Of severe parent to blooming
daughtet upon discovering the fact tina
one of the legs OF the big chair in tn,
parlor had been broken the Sunday even
ing previous: II wish you to under
stand Susan, that this chair was con
structed with view TO the accommoda
ton of one person at a time, and has no
the strength and scarcely the capacit.
for two
II should like to have you raise club,
said 7x9 be III canvasser to a daughte
Of Erin, as he God on the front step try
ing to talk her TO death on the subject o
the sExtinetion OF the Tribes of tb
Seventh Century. Al will, said Biddy
as she reached around behind the door
shut had luck to your picture If you ar
lingering around here when l get
raised
Silgularly, no ore stood mp when
wise man al a meeting in Williamson
s n. T., to adopt measures to find out VIII
sets fir 20 buildings, suggested. 'sTh
shortest way toget ut the root OF the maj
ter would be fiol the man who set fire
sae l,ailding to rise up in the aadlenc
/ an / own thu who'll thing.