, 1879-02-02
FEMININE NOTES.


A fixed fact-One that gets in woman's head.
When man has no mind OF his own, his wife
generally gives him piece Of hers 49,.
It takes good deal Of grief to kill . woman
just after she has got ncw seal-skin sacque. :
"James G.. Swisshelm' is what an Illinois
weekly paper calls her. Such is Jensme.-Boston
Globe. -:
4 music-se1ler announces in his window
comic song: "Thou hast loved and left me for
ten ceuts.n
A Peekskill beau has just made the startling
discovery that q girls ribs run up and down.
or corset SO.
The married man who goes away from home
to visit the cluD-room, sometimes has the club
broom to visit him in return. -.
4 Professor at Vassar, who has class Of
brilliant feminines says - it takes hero to face
q she row."-!iew York Graphic.
ssYou ought to husband your coal more, "san
the charity woman. n always does. | maka
him silt the ashes and pick the ciuders.'
Mary Ann says she doesn't know anything
about boating, but her young man told her
smack On the lips was beau tr.ce.-tine'saan
1tnasy.
There are two periods in q woman's life when
she does not like to talk. When one Is we never
knew, and the other we have forgotren.-Itosts-
land Courier.
The wives OF fifteen OF the present diplomatic
corps in Washington are American grls. .Ils
shows how American industry is running ons
foreign goods. T.
While Massachusetts man was On his knees
praying, his insane wife killed hlm. The idea
thaE he Was wearing out MS pants at the knees
WIS more than her bra1n coulu staud-
The meaucst man lives in Charlottesville, Ind
He stole all the wood his neignoor's wife naa
sawed and split during the day, and then inTitet
her husband over to spend the evening.
"Your late husband, madam" began her
lawVer-'' Yes, know he was always late OUT
O nights, but now that hes dead don't 4et Us
upbraid him. said his charitable widow.
"1'll see you 1ater,'' says smythekins to bis
wife, as he started for his lodge. = and nos
much later either. il you Know when You're
well OFF, answered she. Smythekins was horae
at 10.
"OlS and pomadc arc no longer used on The
hair" This is i sensible cdlct Of fasalop.
Hereafter young mau eau help young Iaoy
to say nothing III particular on Sunday evening
without having his vest sol!ed.
Ten thousand dollars In bills were found sew
ed up iu the dress Ut u woman who recently dleu
in Norton, Mass. Now, hereafter, II you see
h1m with his arm rouud her waist, don't lmas-
inc that lie is prospecting for her deposits
Philadelphia DuleAn.
"sBeg pardon, sir! But 1'Ye just caught these
two young rascals making ! slide III 1roni =.
your doorstep, and they say as you gave , .en
permission It's quite correct; did, police
man. The fact is, expect my uother-in-Ia" -
luncncon.' .'n-Punch.
4 rctort courtcous-New parlor mad:
ssHere's a letter, MAJ 'anl, II Eou please" ~"
mistress: "Tray, Mary, are you not aGSns- Sas~
toned to sec letters handed on traJW ,,. Nem
parlor maid: '!fes, ma'am. But ! olans
know you yaS."-PuucA.
The day before Turkish girl is married sao,
is taken to this bath by 1er lady lrIcnus anu
lu,ups Of sugar are broken over her Lead 81
iortcast Of tlr sweets OF ulatrimony- i year Q1
SO nfterwagu her husband breaks The "aoo
sugar-Lowl over her head.
|, 4 lady taking tea at i small company, beios
very fond of hot rolls, was asked to nave w
. Other "Keaiiy, canuot," shc modestl9 ~
plicl; II don't know how many have eatG.
already.n IL do" Unexpectedly cried q Jusehtos
upstart, whose mother ha1 uaioWcd him seas
at the table. . You've eaten eight; IEc peeh
cuuntin'l"
One of the saddest uze1la1 mistakes on recoru
occurred few evenings ago i'll local psaye.,
meeting. The bulk Of the audience cons'sleu
OF elderly females 4 worthy printer, with mosa '.
faith than oral rhetoric, arose to speak, Win tl
remark that be probably could not DO as ~, W.
Il as the old hands about him." The elderly ~
males, being hard OF hearing, understood NV
to say u old hens" anu he was promptly ausoeo
out.-Ctere;and Pldiadsa er.