Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-02-12
People and Things.

People and Things.
When is railroad-track like ship
When you see cargo on it.
Johnny was whipped at school for a
piece of mischief done by another boy.
Verdict: misplaced switch.
If your icy sidewalk attempts to haul
down an American citizen, ash it on the
spot.-Br5dgeport Standard.
Probably the happiest combination
ia all this wide world, during these mer-
ry winter days, is half mlnce-pie with
a boy around iI.-Buu.ington Hoaukeye.
To have much property is now con-.
sidered an evidence of fraud; to will
that property: evidence of insanity
Turner's Falls Reporter.
Turkey is much behind the age. It's
pashas are a set of moss backs-in fact,
the country is decay ed and mosque
covered. TRANSCRIPT
They called the doctor in to staHnch
! The blood that howed like rain.
But artery had tried awhile
| He said that it was vein.
ra q. -Yonkers Gazette.
The man whose lame back prevents
him from splitting a stick Of wood or
kindiing fire is the one who leads an
attack on a pile of ten cords Of wood to
help uncover and kill a frightened rab-
bit.
We cannot indorse the Communistic'
faction who want to destroy all labor
saving machinery until we know their
views about artificial teeth. We must
draw the line somewhere.-Sta Stamford
Advocate.
A Scotch lady had invited a gentle
man to dinner on q particular day, and
he had accepted, with the reservation,
If Pm spared" Weel, weel," said
the lady, If ye're dead I'll not expect
ye"
Fashion-notes predict long-tailed coats
for gent.eme en- the coming season; which
is a sweet assurance that in the future
we won't be obliged to hunt around af-
plate.-Fuho1, Times
"First class in astronomy, stand up.
Where does the sun rise ?" "Please, sir,
down in our meadow; [ seed it yester-
day." Hold your tongue, you Ounce.
Where does the sun rise ?" 81 know, in
the east" Fright and why in the
east ?" Because the east makes every
thing rise"
Mamma" said wicked youngster,
Gam a canoe?" "No, child, why do
you ask % ooh, because you always say
you like to see people paddle their own
canoe; and diun't know but may be
[ was yours" The boy went out of the
door with more reference to speed than
grace.
After the unique and cautious verdict
rendered recently by CORNERS jury
at Tunbridge Wells, all disbelievers IN
the jury system should be converted.
The verdict referred to was: "The child
was suffocated, but there is no evidence
to show that the suffocation was before
or after death. "--Lou5soiHe Courier Jour-
9aai
A Wetzel county man went into a
Wheeling restaurant the other day and
asked for dozen oysters. The polite
waiter asked him how he would like
them dressed. Dressed" exclaimed
the fellow, "hang it, don't want :em
dressed at all. l want 'em naked, and
don't you forgit it, This was nude
departure in the oyster trade Wheeling
Leader.
There was an exhibition of tableaux
in Fond du Lac, Wis, and the small
boy was present. A scene was pres
ented-" The Execution of Mary, Queen
of Scots'-Mary kneenng, with her
head on the block, the executioner
standing with uplifted axe poised for
the death-blow. amid breathless silence.
Suddenly. in loud whisper, the small
boy exclaimed: "Pa, why uon't he
chOpY
Breathit county. KY, is described in
the Louisville C0arier-J Journal as:
- land where revolver and rife
Are Used tor The purpose of setiling disputes;
Where life Is regarded only tride,
And It's usual for people to die III their boots"
1t is noticeable fact in natural his
tory that when man slips on an icy
pavement he throws his arms and legs
towards all points of the compass,
franticaly struggles to maintain his
dignity, and aims at twenty different
places before he finally comes down. en-
prtensc, as it We're; whereas a woman
gives one convulsive little start, aud
sinks down in condensed heap ON the
very spot on which her foot slipped.-
Nom York tyfrI