The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-11-20
MULTUM IN PARvO.

MULTUM IN PARVO.
THE only band an old maid would
like to lead is a husband.-Osoego Rec
ord.
CATS have no fixed political belief.
They're usually on the fence.--Bostos
Post.
WHEN Power makes q joke, Expect.
ancy smiles and sees a-point-meant.-
Chicago Tribune.
The hot water flowing from the
mouth of the Sutro (Nevada) tunnel is
to be used to irrigate gardens.
MANY mans conscience is Just as
good as new at forty for the simple rea-
son that it has never been used.
The young man who consulted the
goose-bone to find out what the weather
would be undoubtedly anticipated a
bone-answer. Merideas Recorder.
A CANYON CITY (Ore. farmer began
without cent five years ago; at the
age of fifty took up farm, and has now
fields, house, barn, orchard, health and
credit.
"SHALL prosperity ruin us?" asks
the Cleveland Herald. Speaking for
ourselves, we have formed sole mn
purpose that it never shall.--M. 7.
Graphic.
AL1rrLE girl who was sent out to
look for eggs came back unsuccessful,
and complained that "there were lots
Of hens standing around doing nothing"
Boston Journal.
"SEE here, Jones, why don't you
fence in your premises?" ''Oh, there's
no need Of it, so long as my wife's al
ways a-railing around the house, is
there?'' Yonkers Gazette.
MARTHA" said anew-made granger
kins next year. planted about forty;
had to dig awful big holes to put 'em
in, though. - Chicago Inter- Ocean.
AN urchin, who had begged a penny
of an old topper in vain, rewarded him
with this advice: ''Don't you carry that
nose of your'n near to no powder fact'ry
or they might play the hose onto yer."
LIFE INSURANCE companies should
make it point, when insuring a man 8
life, to find out if he is loved madly by
some female that is on the shoot. If
he is, he should be arrested as swim
dler.-Peck's Sun.
THE indianapolis journal speaks of
migratory nomads." This reminds
us of the journalist of this city who
spoke of an equestrian statue on horse
back, and of the reporter who said:
''The false alarm from box 5000 was
false. "-Boston Courier.
A PARTY of Boston ladies, who was
spending the summer in little town
not far from the White Mountains, at
tended q fair which was held by the la
dies of one of the churches. Wishing
to appear properly interested, one of the
visitors asked the manager what the
proceeds were to be devoted to.
SWELL" was the hesitating reply, eve
amt just certain whether we'll buy an
ice-cream freezer or q hearse -
HERBERT SPENCER thus explains evo
luton: Evolution is a change from
an indefinite incOhcrent homogeneity ia
a definite, coherent, heterogenity,
through continuous differentiations and
integrations. Kirkman, the mathema-
tician, thus explains Spencer: "Evo'
luton is a change from a nohowish,
understandable all-alikeness to some.
howish and in general talkaboutable
not-al-alikeness, by continuous some
thingelsifications and sticktogethera.
tiOnS."
A FOND mother, in conversation with
her long haired hopeful, who is great
on the aesthetic, deeming himself 9
poet, painter, sculptor, etc. Fond
Mother You live too much alone,
Algernonr' Great Son-"'Tis better
SO, mother! Besides, l only care fol
the society of my equals, and--a-such
being the case-a-my circle is neces.
sarily rather limited" Fond Mother
-" But surely the circle of your supe.
riors Great Son" NV what,
mother? My superiors. Where are
they?'
A LEADv1LLE jury, becoming dis.
gusted with the "sass" administered tc
themselves as well as to the lawyers
and witnesses by the Judge, ordered
the Sheriff to lock the latter up for 8
couple of weeks, "just to take some Of
the style out of him. as the foreman
expressed it. And, to his Honor
great evaporation, he was incontinent.
" jagged off to Jail, and is now in dur.
ance vile, while the case is going quiet.
ly on with the most popular barkeepel
in town occupying the judicial chair
Veracious Exchange.
Nor very far behind the story of the
hen that Matched alligators is this story
of dancing rooster, told by the Ala
bamian, of Wetumpka: 1--WE learr
from DIR. T. B. Whitby that Mr.. Samuel
Spigener, living near Buyckville, enter
tanned him recently with a dancing
rooster. Mr.. Spigener calls up his
grower and offers him some dough, pro
vided he will dance a double shuttle,
which the fowl proceeds at once to do
to the merriment of the crowd. We
have seen a dog churn butter, but We
take off our hat to the Buyckville
chicken that Dances
BRIGHAM YOUNG's grave is said tt
be neglected and stoneless." HI
left too many afflicted widows. What
is everybody's business is nobody:
business. When the condition of bel
late husbands grave is mentioned tt
Mrs. Young No. 10, she replies: "Well
if he wants a tombstone, let that proud
stuck-up Belinda Jane Young get him
One-it's as much her business as it il
miner And when the subject il
brought to the attention of BeliDds
Jane, who is Widow Young No. IA
she rctOrts: "Let Sarah Jerrshs
Young attend to it. She has known
him longer than L. And it looks as il
he would never get a tombstone
NOrrist1a0n Herald.
A Terrible Experience Five Days
without Food.