The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1879-01-25
Our Q9lio.
UNHAPPY MARRIAGES.

II is melancholy to read the present ap-
plications for divorce in our city, all seem
to be women. All, if their stories are
true, have lived for years intolerable mar
ried lives However law and judges
may decide, these most unhappy women
will never be anything henceforth but
blasted and unhappy. The chief reason
why we have so many miserable marriages
is the carelessness with which they are con-
tracted. 1t has become fashion among
our girls to decline any interference from
parents or superiors in the most important
act Of their lives. For better or worse
they choose to take their own way. 1t is
no matter that the father, if his daughter
marriss i'll, may have to support her and
her children; that he must share in her
misfortune if her husband proves unwor-
thy and bear her sorrow if he treats her
i'll; he is not to interfere in her selection.
Young women and young men among US,
in all ranks of life, meet together and are
pleased with one another, Other young
men and maidens talk Of their affairs, con-
meet their names together, and they are
half committed to each other almost be-
fore the acquaintance has begun. It
would be treachery in the bystanders to
say anything to either of them that would
set them against each other. They meet
under dazzle of false conditions and ex-
elements which enables them to have no
true views Of each other. Very likely 10
the present state Of manners amongst us
they know very little Of each others rela-
tions, upon whom so much Of their mar
ried happiness is to depend. They marry
breathless with the hustle Of the wedding
display, and they 90 away together to as.
similate two lives that my have had utter
ly different antecedents and surroundings
All other relations in life have been pro-
vided for us; this one we may pick and
choose and the result, as we see it around
US, may well make us thankful that our
mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts and
uucles were not left to our own selection
Happily, where there is true love, based
upon good foundation, the first steps of
married life are made under its glamour,
before the brightness Of romance fades
into the light Of common day, the pair
are already well advanced upon the road
to unity. But even then, how much for
bearance, kindness, sympathy, keen in
sight and unselfshness it takes to build
up the new household "Child," said a
homely woman to her nursling, "remem-
Der, you may know a mans worth aud yet
not know his ways. 1t is his ways as
much as his worth that will make you hap
py or uncomfortable in your marriage" !"
And it is those little "ways" on either side
that husband and wife have to accommo-
date themselves to. The young wife who
was SO confident about her housekeeping,
makes a thousand mistakes; nay, often ex-
pensive blunders. Is her husband patient,
helpful and forbearing? He does not
prove the faultless hero Of her romance
before marriage. Is she sensible and rea-
sonablc, self-sacri6cing and teachable
In one part Of married duty man is gen.
orally more faithful than woman. He
never "tells upon" his wife; she often does
on him. There is no greater safeguard to
married happiness than secrecy upon all
married subjects "Eyory wise woman
buildeth her house, says the Book Of
Proverbs, "but the foolish plucketh hers
down with her hands" How often we
see women plucking down their own hap
piness! How often have we been tempted
to urge them to let that brick alone
Again, great deal of married unhappi.
ness comes from the utterly false views
that are popularity entertained Of the mar.
riage VOWS. We vow, not 81 do love.
but 81 will Of course, in the vast ma.
jority Of cases il is to be hoped the will
includes the do, but there may be mar.
riages after which the woman wakens
to the discovery that the man she has mar
riod Is not the being she believed he was
when she gave herself away. And quite
as often the young husband makes the
same discovery When this is the case
there is great comfort and great strength
TO be found in the remembrance that the
vow was II will" With some kind Of
loye--love protecting, love forbearing OIL
love triumphant-those who have vowed
that they will love must keep their vow
The having made a mistake about it doe.
not release US from the obligation. "Fol
better, for worse, IN sickness or 10 health
till death do us part" the vow Is made
We think If the awful solemnity Of thii
vow were more considered VIC should hay.
fewer careless engagements, fewer wretch
ed households fewer applications for di
vorce from hcartbroken petitioners, ans
fewer divorces granted, each Of whici
gives a shock to the sacredness Of the OBJ
legation that unites other husbands ant
! wives. Baltimore 4megqcda.