The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1879-07-05
cream OF OUR EXCHANGES.

The scene Of many a tradegy-keroscnc.
Where the bad outranks the good -bul'er.
scrauing m acouaintance--a barber shaving
friend.
Live cattle going abroad naturally take pass
age in the stecrage.
How many acres 20 TO make wiseacrc:
There is report that Dr. Carver has been en-
gagged by the Nihlists to go TO Russia.
The Times says the revelation in Egypt hat
made Cairo Trmblc.
A man with strong turn for music is the or
car. grinder. -Chicdgo Tdi6am.
The postage stamp always knows lis place al
ter il has been licked once.
II was after Luna had spent her first qnarte
that she was referred to rs the silver moon"
College students and thermometers are taking
higher degrees these days.
When man calls his wife's maid ian angel,
j, is time for the wife TO make her fly.
~ cannot tell n lie," said Jim Anderson, after
hearing the other Louisiana witnesses. dhT0fo
NcirS.
Smithers being asked if he liked sausagcs, re-
piled that he had never eaten any; they were
to him terrier dc0gndd.
farmer on the shores Of Lake Ontario has
had nine acres washed away in twenty years. lie
Is evidently losing ground
Perpetual motion has at last been accom-.
2lished Indianapolis has female sexton and
now one belle tolls the other.
We'll, Tin glad to find something higher than
.he room in which you put me last night" said
1be travelling man, as he paid his hotel bill.
A Mississippi man puts il thus: AT the earn
est solicitation of those whom owe money |
have consented TO become candidate for
County Treasurer.
Scientific men are quareng over the differ
erence between a tornado and cyclone. The
only difference we can see is that ST. Louis pa
yers lie The worst about a cyclone Nirot F,'c
prss.
And now the country is all agog to see an
other letter from GOV. Cullom to Hayes about an
other veto--that veto Of the proposition to GUST
Hnlard from the marshalshp and put Long Jones
IN his place
10 be Interesting, u speaker should he mil OF
his subiect-unlcss ne happens To he talking
about whsky-N,1g OriculS Pjriy,tnc.
Or feas.
\ Rhode Island Sunday school superintendent,
IN a touching missionary address, made the high
est possible appeal to the children when he told
them that away out west, far far in Illinois, and
iowa and Nebraska, there were people who had
never been to a clam. bake. And when the con.
tribution box went around after that the nckcls
raincd into it until it weighed ton.
Seneca Falls, New York, is agitated by the aw-
ful misconduct OF minister Of the gospel, who
is charged with hiring a livery horse and wagon,
ewappng horses six times in two days and re-
tnrnng to the stable with the same horse he
took out having made 500 in the series of dick
ers What was wrong IN this? The lvery-stable
man himself could not have done better
telegram from Canada announces that "a
husband kills his wife and hees" His mark
manship must have been very poor if he could
not shoot the fleas without shedding his wife's
blood, Rifle practice must be encouraged out
side of Kentucky.
The following society item appears in the
Marksvile VA'agr: An cnterprising gentleman
residing in the bend being annoyed by heas, re-
solved on Kidding himself of these pestiferous
little creatures bp giving Il ball He assures MS
'A"' 'lii9 H'N'i "cthou vi Iiuuue one : mouse OF
neas succeeded like charm. He assures us
That ne enjoys good repoee since the ball.
The poverty OF editors is largely sham. The
Norristown Register month ago made the fol.
lowing reckless offer yet strange to say is thus
far without an applicant:
When an editor is continually hintmp of the
lghtness OF his pocket-book, and of the many
days that have elapsed since his eyes were re-
called with the sight Of a dollar bill, he should
either step down and out OF the newspaper bus
mess Mt a Parole gait, or come TO MS and borrow
Il few thousand
The Dixon Sa" says Of Canal Commissioner
shaw While he is drawing daily pay from the
state, II is notorious that much Of his time, ifnot
all Of 1t, is spent IN Dixon editing his paper >"
Guess that's a mistake. Nobody seems to be 'cd
ting his paper"
y writer on styles says. 1T is the fashion in
france Tor ladies' 10 take their tea in bonncts and
gloves II may he, but we prefer a tea.cup
Gloves make tea taste bad. and hunncts drip so
-- Horto" Past.
COUNTRY SOUS Ds.
HE humming Of the bees
Waited on the scented breeze,
And the robins tender notes are very fine:
But swecter, far, To me,
Ihan the humming OF the bee
- Tie melting tender. loin' of the kline