The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1879-04-17
trict of Columbia, 8; Ohio, 2; Michi-
gan, l; Wisconsin, /; Iowa, 2.-Colun'-
bia Register.
Bill Arp's Sunday Chat.

| lis thrlllln time Wnen q country
family have invited their city cousins to
visit 'em, and are ixin up to receive 'em
in hospitable manner. My wife, Mrs.
Arp, she were not at home and so the
girls took matters in charge, and for sew
eral days the exciting episode went on.
1t was like clearing the deck of q man of
war for fight. The house has been
secured, and scrubbed, and sand papered.
Everything in it has been taken down
and put up again, and moved TO new
place, and l can't find anything now
when I want it. The old faded carpets
have been taken up and beated, and
patched all over, and curtailed and put
down again. They get smaller and
smaller, which they say, is n good way
to wear 'em out without taking cold.
The furniture has been freshly vanished
with kerosene oil; the window glass
washed on both sides, and the knives and
forks, water buckets, wash pans, and
shovel and tongs frightened up. The
hearths bave been painted with spanish
brown, the family portraits busted cas-
tors and spoons and napkin rings pol
ished as fine as jewelry store.
surveyed the operations from day to
day with affectionate interest for it does
me good to see young people work dill
gently in meritorious cause: neverthe-
less my routine of daily life seems to be
somewhat demoralized. On the first day
our humble dinner was dispensed with
and me and the boys invited to lunch on
bread and sorghum at side table. The
next day We were allowed to lunch in the
back piazzer for fear we would mess up
the dining-room, and the next we were
confined to the watershed to keep US
from messing up the piazzer and after
that I meekly prepared myself to be
showed out doors on plank, but we
wasent. I've been doing some more
work on the front yard to surprise Mrs.
Arp when she comes, but they've locked
the front door to keep US from tramping
through the hall and we have to 60
around about hundred yards for drink
of water. This is allcoreect I reckon for
there's no malice in it and they praise
up our terraces so gushingly I've mind
to keep on with EN- down into the pub
lie road and cascade that to the branch.
Delicate hints have been given that it
amt polite to set down to dinner with
ones coat of, or to drink coffee out of
saucer, or eat hominy with a knife, or
smoke in the parlor. The wash bowl has
been turned upside down to keep US
from using it. With this side up it
holds about pint and half, and as I
was washing my face with the tips of my
fingers they surveyed me with looks of
unutterable despare. When raise my
workin' boots on the banister rail for an
evening rest they wipe it off with wet
rag as soon as l leave. I musent step on
the purity rcd hearth to make up fire
or to put back log on that weighs so
pounds. They've put pillows on about
half as big as bale of cotton and fringed
all round like petticoat. They are to
stay on in daytime and be taken off at
night. When I'm tired and feel the
need of midday nap that bed was a
comfort, but the best can do now is to
sit up in a chair and nod. The dogs
don't understand the new system at all.
Old Bows has been coming in the house
to the fire or lying in the piazzer for IA
years, and it does seem impossible to
break him of it in a sudden though dog
matte manner. Broom-handles and fish
ing poles move EN- out at one door, but
they slip in at another. Theyl enter an
appeal when Mrs. Arp comes home. I'm
waiting patiently for her advent myself,
but am going to conform to the new Or
der just as long as I can in reason.
Shed take care of me and restore my
ancient privileges. She never would
allow anybody to regulate me but herself,
company or no company. Shes over
stayed her time two days trying to decide
what to buy with two dollars and a half.
Poor thingI I wish she had hundred.
Id foller her about from store to store all
the day long. Then she wouldn't buy
nothing for herself but pair of specks,
and she'd buy them on the SLY, for she
don't want it generally understood she
has to use them. woke up one night
about midnight and discovered her sit
ting by the fire with my glasses on, read
ing Molly Brown. I'm revellin now at
her delight, when she sees all the i'm
provements that we have made in her
long absence, for it seems like she has
been off to Europe, or Jerusalem, or the
Suez Canal. We've turfed all the ter
races with blue grass sod. They run
round the form of snake with two
crooks in him but which our poetic girls
speak of as Mr.. Hogarth's line of beauty.
We've leveled off another yard for cro-
kay ground; she loves to play some
times, and it does me good to see her
throw the mallet after the ball when it
misses the wicket two or three times in
succession. She's is a comm. The
flowers are waiting for her, and the
chickens and colts, and the dogs and
cats, and the children and me. We'er all
waiting.
BILL ARP.