Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1879-09-18
FUNNYaRApHs.

- - = - $3.50 as
REMARK of the oyster Sept. /: au,
we 4 again."-Boston Commercial, P'n
TN. A' QUE
"THE early bird gets the worm y,
gnurly apple gets it also.-Ims,iooous'
Punch. "'n
FRUIT is dirt cheap, but cholera usa
cine rules at the old figures.-Ne,D W.
Express. 1"s
The coiner of pennies takes comu,u
cents view OF things, although he dOa.
minis matters.-Ne,c York Ne,cs.I '
The flower named bachelors but.orp
is so called beuause it is apt to fall Of u
Ne,c Orleans Picayuue.
THE kangaroos are dying out. Thu,
have for years been on their last ler,
New Orleans Picdyune.
A WESTERN paper describes q vs,.
slim man as being tall enough to 90 iu.'
the woods and PICK a mess of So I1ir,a s,'
THE sexton looks upon the min;s,s.
very much as the Snowman does unor
his fve-legged calf or his man with f tba
the iron jaw. VIC
KNOWLEDGE is the right bower anal
one OF the showiest cards in the nsoL
yet in the game of life cheek i tbs
little joker that is oftentimes the winns,
A BOLD young man explained WHY h.
had pretty girl in his lap with his sm M
around her, by saying that he v.1
engaged in the study of weights sn1
measures.
"PA," said little Ilinoisan, vb1d
strolling in the grove with his ps,ent
recently, "rabbits don't have tsI,
they only have little bunch Of co,l
ton"
CYRUS W. FIELDS habit of csrryjpj
one hand under his coat tails will o.
him into trouble some day. Some mad
will think Cyrus is after pistol suJ
when man thinks that he works to %
the first "drop."
You can travel Scott free in the Ian
of Burns, if you walk and never stop
eat or drink. Plenty Of the natives lin
on Ayr.-M Y. Neaos. And a few
them reside in Skye.-N. Y. Commend
advertiser.
Now will Mr.. Huxley explain ID
phenomenon of a negro woman wi.
twins, one white and the other bsc
What sort of evolution is that? asks III
Elmira advertiser. Kind of Mosaic di
pensation, we presume.
A MAN who has the cheek to put d
" bitters" containing ninety pr
cheap whisky and the remainder do
button, and then advertise the stuff
ga friend of temperance" would tAil
nothing of stealing a red-hot lime kill
OLD gentleman" l shall report yo
young man. Why didn't you stop Il
car before? Here / have been runnl
after your car more than q BLOCK
Conductor-"A All right, guv'nor; T
sorry; but ! amt like pertater-sy
all over"
A GREAT many morally inclined bll
ness men will tell you that the people
to-day are not as honest as they were
their time-but they'll shove bog
quarter on a near-sighted man Just
quick as man of more modern make
Elmira Gasttte.
WHEN filling a cavity, dentists SON
time place dam in the patients mOu
When tooth is being extracted,
dentist is relieved of that duty.
patient supplies all that are required
Boston Transcript. 5
A FAT French woman despairin .
says: 81 am 80 fat that l pray tor Il
appointment to make me thin. NO 8 o
er does the disappointment come
the mere expectation of growing thln ot
gives me such joy that become Ia v
than ever" IL
A WOMAN who was having her b
introduction to the telephone lie" u
ago, was told by the operator, 70
the instrument to her ear ana ilsve vi
the words the wire would say, h,
now" said she, in all innocence, 81 III
talk with the other ear"-Spwa Of
Republican. bel
$50 now you are a B. A. was 'F'
you intend to do7" ooh, In soin
cake my degree and then be a prGls
and then Pm going to hurry ~; .ai WI
my thirty years SO as to be entit ute ~
my retiring pension as soon az pos bed
and then | shall enjoy my weiFeAI psi
rest, "-Partstan Wittic,sn'. bus
SAYS Joaquin Miller, writing Ak
river Thames: "By the side OF UNI al
commercial artery of the EARN u +
London-broods, and erooas el
broods." He might have sddeG nix
equal force and truth that 1t oro sS. 55sv
broods, and broods, and brooa'' Val
broods, and broods, AID brooo' md
broods. -Rockland Courier. md