The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1879-04-10
LOOKING UNDER THE BED.

1t IS the habit OF many persons 10 take
a look under the bed before retiring for
the night. Mrs. Evergreen, MY beloved
wife, INDUCES, if indulgence it can be
called, in this peculiar practice. I 10 not
object to it in the least so long as she
does not enforce the performance upon
myself; but when, as Is sometimes the
case, she forgets it until she has put out
the light and ensconsed herself under
the comforter, then it IS hard that l, who
am not troubled with nervous apprehen-
siveuess, should have to get ont in the
cold and do it for her l have often re-
marked to Mrs. Evergreen, when l have
seen her prying under the bed, that it
was a silly habit, and that the sooner
she gave it up the better To this gentle
admonition my better half invariably re-
plies:
'La, Evergreen what harm does it do!
It's q kind of satisfaction to know that
nobody's under there, and then l don't
think of such horrible thing after I'm
in bed"
'I think, my dear, you might just rs
we'll pursue your Investigations further
and look into the bureau drawers and the
clothes basket"
"Evergreen,' she viii reioin, "don't
mention the idea, or 1 shall certainly do
so. Come to think of it man could very
easily get into the clothes basket"
"Certairly ne could, my dear, quite as
easily as Falstaff. You should certainly
include the clothes basket, and blythe
by, there's the chimney; why not look
up that, as well'
"Now, Evergreen, you're laughing at
me. But / can't leave off the habit, and
[ never will. It's a comfort for me to
know that there's nothing wrong about
it, and L don't see why you should de-
privo me of it.
SO under the bed goes the candle. and,
no signs of humanity being discovered,
Mrs. Evergreen is able to repose III
peace. But, as already observed, this
precautionary act is sometimes forgotten,
and am myself obliged to rise, light
the lamp, and report. I've done it rather
more frequently of late than is agreeable,
and have intimated as much to Mrs. f..
She says:
Very well, Evergreen, I'll 90 it my
self"
But this procedure is almost as bad.
for she invariably lets the cold in on me,
both in getting out and getting in. If it
were not for this mental idiosyncrasy on
the part OF Mrs. Evergreen, by giving
her some good reasons 10 approhend
danger, I should relate to her what / am
about to lay before the reader. In this
narration, therefore. / ask the public
most particularly to bear in mind th2t
Mrs. Evergreen is Of q sensitive nature,
rather apprehensive and slightly super.
stitloUs, and that what | have to say
must under no circumstances be impart-
ed to thet lady. If for two and twenty
years Chat is the period of our welded
life, and happy years they have been. ,
it. say. have for this long period re-
Trained from imparting the matter to the
beloved sharer OF my joys and partakeI
of my SORROWS, surely the public (which,
as We know, always does keep secret,
will keep mine.
All young men. l suppose, have love
affairs before they eventually fix thell
affections ON the one who is to bless theil
lot in life. l know that I had, and
don't regret it. Regret it? Tar from
it. Mrs. Evergreen is not present, and
therefore I have no hesitation in saying
that if I had my life to live over again.
Ia ike to 60 through with the same
sentimental experience, particularly if il
was to be succeeded by again leading tc
the hymenial altar the present Mrs
| Evergreen.
was not bad looking when | was il
my tweIties. think l may go further
and confidently say that ''Gus Ever
| green was decided favorite among the
girls of Oakville, and / really believed
that could have had any of them ''fol
( the asking" As before remarked, Mrs
Evergreen is not present, and 1 indulge
my thoughts somewhat more freely thar
would otherwise be the case I dom
! think that I cared particularly for any o
the Oakville girls, however, and I nigh