The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1879-10-17
A Bachelors Sad Experience.

Poor Jones, was an old bach, but,
fortunately, he had very dear ma,
who kept his clothes in constant repair,
and his stomach always supplied with the
n .cessaries that are absolutely required for the
upholding OF such lordly son of the soil; for
wasn't he his mammals only darling, her idol
lied son; and who, pray, would dare to con :
tradict such a statement? No one, L Think
ever had the impudence or courage (which-
ever the case requii ed to differ. and so she re-
ioiced III the thought, until one cold Deem
ber's night came, with his frosty fingers, and
closed her eyes forevermore, to the sorrow OF
her poor son, for now he was uneducated in
the arts and folles OF homework, perfectly
mystifed at the art of stitching button on, or
mending hole; and washing dishes, scrub
Ding, and sweeping were mysteries he could
not solve. He, however, soon came to the con-
clusion that his dear mamma would not
heed his cries would not appear from
ont OF that cold, dark tomb, to assist him,
as she had Of yore, and his delicate
constitution demanded something nourishing
immediately, and so the delicious memory OF
his grandma's pancakes flashed quickly through
bis brain, and, speeding downward, settled in
that peculiar spot that made him fairly groan
for pancakes and being not in fit condition
10 bait c with his adversary, he gave one bound
and landed in the pantry in search Of his dear mas
recipe but he scanned in vain, not even cook
book could he find /; but, rather than disappoint
the meanings within, he rolled up his sleeves,
and, spying dish pan hanging on the wall, he
took it down and nearly filed il with flour, for
he was very hollow, and that would not be too
much for good hearty breakfast after fasting
so long, thought he. Now for some sugar for
his dear mammals were always nice and sweet,
and, procuring what he thought was a cupful
of sugar but alas it was salt, he stirred it in
and rushed TO the hennery and brought back
a dozen nice fresh eggs Ito make II extra light
he saiD now for something to make it raise,
and, as luck would have it, he remembered
hearing his ma telling her next-door ntighbor
Of the splendid yeast she had made; so he
the jar of foaming yeast, and he put in as
much as be thought the pan would hold,
and stirred il all up with little warm water
then, standing it on the stove to raise until
morning, he retired 20 the next room and pre-
pared for glorious visit to dreamland, where
pancakes would re- echo through aud through,
and beautiful visions would feast with him I'M
III they would all he living, breathing pan
CAKES. But such dreams do not last forever,
for one terrifying shrek from his faithful CAT
aroused him from his blissful dream, to find
alas! the poor cat-his poor, dear, faithful
friend-foatlng out over the window sill, and
himself almost strangled. The scene ought to
have caused his heart TO bound with joy, for a
perfect ocean of foaming, rolling. boiling
pancakes met his astonished eyes; but, instead
he gave one bound and came to the conclusion
that after all, life was but stomach salts
ter"-a stern reality-and that home without
nuisance" Tor a "helpmate" he now calls
woman could not be thought of. Adieu.
GEoRGINA.