The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1879-05-15

Yes-s. The widow of Jack Thompson,
celebrated mince and pumpkins pie max
er in Chicago.~I-messhis brother on the
street to-day.fl He's al pork4merchant.
And she never had any children.
'''Not d blue-eyed boy?" grasped the
Gaptain.f9si 4gj fGd 3ea!ii aui
"Not even blue-eyed boy. Yes-s!:"
said Wellington Octoper. er.-Harper
Weekly.
~ E1,9 ---------- :. l------------------1 34i I
..a.i. .PUNGENT. PARAGRAPHS. rsg
1.-The elephant allows his wife to carry
but one trunk. trunk. k.s..t aygi xsusw5 a5
WoMAN's sphere-That she will never
get married. -8Ass, ffssas i's'hi
WHEN did thea!phabet get into rowP
When A bet, B fit, ID cried, N ragged, Q
bit and x pounded ri z4arysi e,;tf!T
Mrs. Brown, who "knew it was
something Of that Sort" added to her
recent Invitations ssH.s MS. P.Yi I'm
agine the dismay Of her sisters and her
cousins and her aunts. rus Zi3'.''''
THE editor of a paper recently IN
sisted that poets. must be brief. The
next day he received a composition anti-
tied "The Ballad Of the Merchant =,
!" "Trust4Bust tns3iftisi 9ti asisiI If9F-3
APRoPos of the proceedings in the
Oliver Cameron case, Old 81 says, eyer
better be III de dres sirkle OBJ er wet
ho'net nest dan infolr minits isollytuds
wild er widder oman dat's on de mar
ry!" 20 7 's'@
THE editor Of the Cincinnati Saturday
Night discovered that his GIRL wore two
sets Of gold: mounted false teeths end he
sat down and wrote q poem entitled
erich sand rare were the gums she
wore. sssa ati sssjst ssFfs,sssiisrfssea Al sa7I5s
IT is easier for camel to pass. through
the eye of d needle than ii Is for young
woman in,a fur lined silk cloak to walk
along without letting it fap open Just q
Ntile,sto show that the fufiis more than
mere bordera:<1 .a II .fiE .rnsaiTgoTI
No frst-class reporter will ever for
get to add. at the end Of an UNSUCCESSFUL
burglary item thss the,fefi fiows overlook
ed 10 box cohtafninga s 600 in 9Cash.
This always makes the burglars mad
enough to shoot themselves.
o1PRoFEssoR, lectdring on Psychology
-tstAu phenomena are sensations IE0r:
instance, that leaf appears green to me.
Insother words, Z have asensation of
gree4ness within me.,' OF ppqEse no
harm was meant, but still the class
would laugh 10 fsla7 y ~ a--s'o''
Two gifts are offsrsd sto, men in. this
world they very seldom can have both.,
One il success, with weariness; the
other, failure; with hope. 1.-THE last is
much the best. !. The man who succeeds,
finds that his success does not amount
I tosasgreat deal;i the man who fails, but
keeps his hope, is. the happy man. j. =
/ "1h1NGs, "@quoted David, id poeti-
cal mood, tara not. Whist they esem." J"
sQf course not, !" commented gSadie,,
nthe sewing machine seams, but every
body knows the maehineisn't the shirt
it seams" And-thansunobody said any
thing for . long time, and David made
some remark about people who couldn't
appreciate , r.tll sentiment, anr:7sa Bar''ngso"
The clergyman 4 who 10 iii, thus desc described ia
an every day horse transaction was on
his high horse Of rhetorical subhmity !:
81 You may kindly guide the prahcing
steed to- the CRYSTAL ook!which babbles
down, the hill lsside. in ,thet sun, but you
can not coerce him to ssto0p and slake
his thirst in the silvery stream it he be
| not willing to accept your proffered
kindness.,'' .fs...:.F.. es. ..f.,
The Other day as large funeral
headed by q band in full uniforms and
attended by several civic societies, was
proceeding to the cemetery q decrepit
old darky withsgrizzled hair set down
his wheelborrow, and when he; had
viewed the imposing procession took
occasion to remark TO the bystanders
generally: "Deed now, honeys, 4 tell
1 You, 'aint muffin to die, when yer kin be
/ laid away like dat.''ka aa #g45aiaif!s1'
/ "AMANDA, I wish you to put the
1 large Bible in q prominent place on the
! center.table, and place three ior tour
hymn books carelessly round On the the
1 sofas. - Ihaye advertised for q young
man to board ina cheerful, Christian
family, and I tell you, what. if you, girls
| don't manage, either one Of you, TO rake
1 himiin, why PH neverlftry any thing
again, for I'm I'm tired tired out T. "-Andre'os'
4 Bdzdr.
sDpcussIra an nabsent friend: ssYes,
Rohinson's . clever feller, and he's, 4
modest teller, and he's q honest teller
but betwixt You andI and the post. Mr.
| Jones,,,, said Brown, confdentially
picking his wisdom tooth with his little
finger-nail, ssRobinsonl amt got neither
4 the looks, nor yet the language, nor ye
the manners Of gentleman!'' "Righ1
y0a Are,' sir,'' said Jones, shoveling th'
melted remains of his ice pudding int
his mouth with steel knife (which b
, afterward wiped on the table-cloth)
"You've it i'm orr to q T."-Puach.