The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1879-09-13
WHY'S: WISE HND WITTY.

A piece cougress-A quilting party.
lee dealers may be called members of
the cold trade.
Remark of the oyster, September LIST:
=" Here we Il again.
Faults are the only thing in soRe pee
pie that are not false.
My son, emulate the mule; it is back
ward in deeds OF violence.
Advice to a st. Lawrence pilot-If you
see il rapid, "Shoot p" it on the spot.
1t is rather odd that much silver is
found when it is continually sought in vein.
A girl went back on her how-legGed
bean because she said she didn Ike 10 waltz
in brackets.
The Zoo had good year in 1873. In
fact, you never see the Ioo-loSe i'll this part
of the world.
A physician has discovered yellow fever
germs in ice. The safest WAY is TO boil your
ice before using it. This kills the germ.
Speak of a mans marble brow and he
will glow with conscious pride, but allude
to his wooden head and he is mad in II mini
ute
When John Wise, the aeronaut, is
knighte,i, he will become veteran airy
Sir John; but that won't make him a horse
doctor
-Dimnutivc oleomargarineCup sounds
more high-toned and ncdantic than Little
Buttercup," but it is Il fearful waste of the
alphabet.
"A man is said 20 be absent minded when
he thinks he has left his watch home and
then takes it ont of his pocket to soc if he
has time to return home To get it.
-''At what age were You married - asked
She inuuiSitively. But the other woman
WAS equal to the emergency, and quietly
responded" At the parson-".
He was inclined to he facetious. "N nat
quantity of dried grass you keep here, Miss
Stebben<. Nice room for Il donkey to get
into" Make yourself at home" she re-
sponded.
The Ciacianoii Sqig,yly Nign says:
There i a man in this city who has been
angry for thirty years on II stretch. 1t is
the worst case of standing cholec that we
ever knew
A young man of Sioux City Went out
counting his girl, made Il lnSstep, and fell
down a hill Il distance of three hundred
feet, but was not hurt.-EF. Failing in
love is rarely fatal.
Shakespeare knew ali about pedestrian
contests Didn't he say, Time and the
hour run through the toughest day
These, by the way, are the most evenly
matched pair that were ever seen on the
track.
At London book sale copy of nraw's
Essay on Souls" was knocked down 10 L
shoe maker, who, tn tn great amusement
of the assembly, innoccntly asked til" au"-
tioneer if he hal ANY more books on shoe
making to sell"
-" Customer" What lid You think Of
the Bishops sermon on sunday, Mr.. Wigs-
by >" Hair-drel >er--" Well, really, sir
there was gent n Settin in front o me as
'td his air parted that crooked that | could
not ear word
Teacher, to hoy who has TO be directed
frequently-'' Can YOU tell me where the
Blue Ridge is"" Boy Grabbing his shoul-
der)-" No, but | can tell You where the
black and blue ridge is" He is treated
more rjdgerouSiy than ever now.
MIR. Plug and his niece from the city
were sitting on the piazza the other evening
lust as the moon rose, and the fair maiden
remarked There's two new moons this
month. Maybe there is down in Boston,
where folks are we'll of, said Mr.. Plug.
UP here have so little money and
taxes arc 50 high we make thu old moon
last Just rs long rs ever we can before we
get new one. We can't afford more II one
in six weeks here"
Miss Giggle-ush has seen "Pinaforc."
Hear her: 81 think it is real mean, there
You know they always have sea dogs on
navy ships; but they didn't have any in
the play, and was SO disappointed. TO he
sure, the sailor men kept saying, Our Saucy
Gyp's a beauty and l looked ami looked,
but didn't see n, and l don't believe he
was there, either, didn't like it bit"