Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-01-01
IIu,ilOl'.

r cartridges are among the things that
whirr, .a ~. ..t ~f fsaaras ~anii.G
Nothing hut time can keep up with
the Indicator on a gas meter. .....
Send along your big apples! On core!
On core!-PhiIudelphia Bulttin. ~. 7-5
1t only takes a popular song three
weeks to get twenty years old IN this
country. r-. -.H 90 ga3 radj issaTa.
What law has been a terror to evil
doors ever since the world began? The
mother-in- law.-Chut.
| The Washington monument has one
part of it finished. That is the fund
that was used up long ago.
Thousands Of boys would 60 dirty all
summer if it were not wicked and dam
gerOus to battle in the lake. TO- a..g.s
A mule will behave himself eleven
years and six months just to get one OFT
| hand shot at middle shirt-stud.
A little melted India-rubber mixed
with ice-cream will preserve this favor
tie dish against the weather for hours.
~ Whenever yu cum akrOst a man who
distrusts everybody, yu have found
one whom it is safe for everybody to
distrust.-Josh Billings
It is said that nothing can equal the
anguish Of wife with hair-pulling pro-
pensities who is the unfortunate pos
SCISSOR Of baid-headed sband.-Chot
"He seems to have boea shot in the
diaphragm" said the doctor. son, no!'
exclaimed his weeping listener, che was
Shot right in the lower end of the sa-
loon"
A cat finds its own tail by looking
around for something to play with.
From just such trihing causes the great
est discoveries of all ages have been
. made. -New Orleans Picnytae.
! Two fishers went talking aoout things
in the west: First Fisher" Having
pretty lively old time out here on the
Danube. see they've blown up a big
fleet" Second Fisher" Thazzo!
Scares the fish"
Mercer Stockings, miss? Yes, miss.
What number, miss, do YOU Matter
of-fact Young Lady--Why, two, OF
course! Do you think I've got a wood,
en- leg? oda e.;-r..s s4zs.r. a. ..... ..s
Cause and Effect Mamma: !" Look
Regy, at the pretty white COW that gives
us the nice white milk" Little Boy
''And does the pretty brown cow give
us nice brown coffee, ma?'-Judy..
doctor, Doctor" painted messen.
/ ger, "come down the street-qulck
/ There's man dropped in a fit!, in
! an appopletic?" questioned the doctor.
'No, sir; in an ulster" answered the
messenger. ass .iU a..
/ The man who Waits to get three cats
| in line before he shoots will some day
] find the poor-house waiting for him. 1t
/ is the man who peppers away at cats
4 whenever chance offers who will lay up
ducats for old age.-Dttrolt Free Press.
The New York Express is determined
tc tell the truth though the heavens
| fall. It says; at isn't overwork that's
/ running the young men of this great
city by any means. No, it's waiting on
4 the street corner for somebody to invite
4 them into the nearest saloon"
A bright little Shoreham (Vt.) boy,
4 who had been engaged IN combat with
another boy some time ago, was reprov-
I ed by his aunt. who told him he ought
1 always to wait until the other boy
. pitched upon y him. "Well." ex-
planned the little hero, "but if I wait
/ for the other boy to begin, Pm 'fraid
there won't be any fight" aaa15a ~ so
Ion dangerous e Ground.-Archie
1880 al1il :no. 30, 9goi9d gats~A