The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-12-25
VARIETIES.

"A young lduy III DTOOhlyu u CdiiS ucT
beau spark from the wires, because
he's telegraph operator.
The most powerful of existing tele-
scopes is now in use at Melbourne.
which magnifies 5000 times.
An ounce of keep-your-mouth-s
is better than q pound of explanations
after you have said it--Fres Press.
I'm Sweden bride has her pockets
filed with bread. Caramels are good
enough for the girls in this country.
Some people Judge an umbrella by
the handle. The best way is to tickle
it in. the ribs.-NeU Haven Register.
The Philadelphia Ghronicle says
that youth and toothless old age are
chewing gum periods of a mans life.
The rats of Illinois eat up and de-
stroy 10000 bushels of corn every
year, and the query with her is whether
to stop raising corn or rats.
The Detroit Free Press says that no
woman should ever give q plump .'no''
to an offer of marriage. Hold on to
even q poor one, and use it for bait :"
-" Everything" says a Western pa
per, "has recently advanced in price
except liberty, which remains at eternal
vigilance, with liberal reductions to the
trade"
Vague reports of troubles in Spain
have reached this country. Is it possi-
BILE that Alfonso has already refused to
get mp first and start the Chicago
Tribune.
After q Texas jury had stood out
for ninety-six hours the Judge got a
- <xrx<, tooh hry
sending them word that circus had
come to town.
-" Ulster" is q curious name for q
young lady, but that is what an Irving
ton young man calls his queen. We
suppose because he is SO wrapped up
in her.-Honkers Statesman.
The thoughtful girl who tells her
gentlemen callers what her other gentle
men friends are going to give her
Christmas is taking time by the top
knot. t.-Andres0s American Queen.
-"What is the difference between
the masons and their tenders" asked
Mr.. Practical, $50 long as they get the
same pay?" "The difference lies in
the hods." replied John. the Britisher.
Child of seven, before being brought
into the drawing-room. Row heard
outside room. Scream from child.
Child in alto: company Company
or no company, won't have my face
washed with spitr'
-" There was never any situation so
bad that it could not be worse" says
an American philosopher. For in
stance, q man on the gallows might be
lost in the woods without even a dog
for n0mDanu Froo Preee
"A Yankee woman recently mar
ried q Chinese laundryman, and in
three days thereafter the unhappy Ce-
lestial appeared at BARRIERS shop and
ordered his pigtail to be cut of, saying,
in explanation: "Too muchee yank. !"
Don't be alarmed young man, if
about this season of the year you dis
cover the idol of your alleged soul gaz-
ing intently at your feet during one of
your visits to her. She is only sizing
them up for q pair of slippers that you
can never wear.
of course, says the Boston Trans
csipt, we all love our neighbor as our
selves; but when our coalbin is full and
his empty somehow the news of an ad-
vance in coal doesn't make us look half
so glum as when the conditions of the
respective coalbins are reversed.
The Trenton IN. J.) Gazette says
that Professor Cook has sent to the
Geological Museum at the State House
in that city several large slabs of stone
containing imprints of birds feet, which
were found ut q great depth in Morris
County quarry.
The following list of articles have
fDxr~1 in hn nofrpsf b no
water: Nitzchia curvula, cymatopleura
elliptica, stauroneis, punctata, pleuro-
sigma spencerii and rhizosolenia erien-
sis. And yet they have temperance So
cieties there.-Albany Journal.
All emaciated humorist, who had
been sick for long time, was required
by his doctor to have a large mustard
plaster put on his chest. "Look here,
doctor! isn't there q great deal of mus
tard when the quantity of meat is taken
into confederation" asked the sufferer.
king Cetewayo is said to have as.
tonished people by his courteous man.
ner and his liking for cleanliness.
When Sir Bartle Frere asked him il
there was anything he wished for, the
savage answered that he would like to
have the floor of his room cleaner. He
suffers somewhat from rheumatism
He takes an interest in illustrated pa
pers, and when he was shown one o1
them with q picture of himself sharpen
ing knife to kill Grandier, he burs
out laughing, and said he never knew
what real lie was until he saw that.
-" just now, in at Smiths" sale
Jones. his face flushed with the prouo
consciousness Of q good deed done
"my honesty had q severe strain. A
fellow went out just after came in
and noticed he left half dollar of hi
change on the counter. My frs
thought was to pocket it. Sorry to say
it, boys; but it is q fact. I didn'
though, thank heaven! No; just pu
my fingers near it when Smith handed
me my cigars, and by curious coinci
dence it was just the right change
Seemed sort o. providential, didn't it
Yes" he continued, "there's no doub
about it; honesty is the best policy.
Boston Transcript.