The New York herald., 1879-03-09
CHAT BY THE WAY.


CHAT BY THE WAY.
Number one is the most attractive unit in any ag.
gregate. and when inclined to do the greatest
good to the greatest number we always choose num-
Der to represent our charity.
great many people in this world closely resemble
the letter f. and because it is always to be found
debt.
Religion Is sometimes strangely applied. Mrs.
Brown said. with great emphasis. that when she
looked at the rich shawls which the Smith girls
and then at the wretched apologies for shaws which
her own girls wore, If it not for the consola
tions of religion she really didn't know what she
should do.
1t was Brougham who said that lawyer is very
learned gentleman who rescues your estate from
your enemies and then keeps 1t for himself
We weary Of reading good epitaph. one
which indicates the work Of lifetime few short.
crisp words Here is one for instance. which needs
no explanation. 1t was inscribed the tomb of
cannibal: He loved his fellow men," And here is
double obituary, which shows that the state Of mat
rimony is sometimes happy ones:
lam anxiously expecting you. A. D. 1897.
Here am. A. d. 1867.
According to the following lines there some
clergymen whose eyes visible. aud for the
best Of reasons:-
cannot praise the doctors eyes;
never saw his glance divine
For when he prays he shuts his eyes.
And when he breaches he shuts mine.
The Buffalo Express has spent great deal Of time
in experimenting on the intricacies Of logic. and
has acquired q facility for putting argument
in its most convincing form of expression. It's
masterpiece is in reference to the Of tobacco.
and it proves beyond tho possibility of doubt that
the noxous weed produces longevity. and does in
such skilful way that the inference thrusts itself
OH the mind with marvellous force. .The ancient
Egyptians" it says. "were known to use to-
bacco in any shape, and. mark you, the ancient
Egyptians all dead" EryO-but wo forbear, for
the conclusion that man who uses tobacco never
dies is too clear to be stated.
The severest and perhaps the truest thing said Of
Talmage is that he is the presiding genius Of the
Brooklyn Tabernacle
We have found no boys composition of late which
seems to put the Father of His Country stranger
moral basis than this 1t the still further
purpose of showing that where there is real. IRE.
mere knack Of spelling:-
george Washington was little boy what onct lived
In virginny what had max give him by his old
Wen george he got the he crtted tree what had
cherreys up 1t and eat the cherreys he and mother
boy. Wen georges old man foun out what george an
the mother boy done he called george too him he
george Washington who emitted iha bark oien the
cherrey tree! george sails did rha old sails you
did george sails did and cannot tell H. Why cant
you tell Ii sails the old man. Coz sails george if
tell Ii this here fellerl blow then i'll be
spanked twict that's rite sas the old man wenever
yer git in to trouble tina esyst way out is tina best
Some one has taken to himself great credit for the
discovery that kerosene, when properly applied. will
make tin and silver shine like mirror. This
is but feeble attempt at right appreciation of that
article. We account the other day of young
woman who was toying with kerosene which
she held in one hand, and with lighted match
there was explosion and blaze. aud not only the
kitchen utensils shone, but the whole neghborhood
with q brilliancy that could be seen for miles
around. Tho fact is that kerosene is one Of those
obstinate chemical products which produces its
greatest effects when IL is improperly applied
The human heart when 1t has committed wrong
always yearns for forgiveness. tender hearted
man had a fearful quarrel with his wife. and after
many hard and bitter words he left her. For years
he struggled through bare and wretched existence.
followed all the time by remorse. and at last when
he learned that his better half had suddenly inher-
tied a large property. he could stand it longer.
and fell at her feet and asked to be forgiven.
Another scare about the worlds coming to end
is on the tapis in London. We have about recovered
from the effects of the had few months ago.
and can Afford to smile at the London savans who
pretend to know more than any human being has u
right to know. matter how large his head is.
1t is n pretty well asccrtaned fact tina. the world
is bound to to end some time. but it is per-
fccty make preparations to honestly pay the
note that will como due next year. Bailey. of the
Danbury Ncscs. hits this phase of cccentricity in
very neat way. He says he knew of these
Second Adventists who made fair living out OF his
peculiar notions. lie used to borrow n hodful of
Goals and pound two of sugar and two
or three logs OF wood Of his noighbors. giving
that the world coming to end so
quickly that there no use in laying in great
stock of provisions. lie lived ono whole winter in
this way but ia the spring IL suggested to him
that there were not people enough in that region
who sympathizcd with him to make 1t an object for
him to ivo there any longer. 1t liz all very well to
pray to God with unctuous cloqucnce provided you
don't contradict your own prayers by preying on
your neighbors.
A vessel recently sailed to Africa laden with innu-
merable hogshcads Of rum and carrying one poor,
neagre missionary. 1t certainly could not be cx-
pected that single missionary would be the anti
dote to the rum. though IL might easily be predicted
that the would be perfect antidote to the mis-
sionary. Consistency is great jewel. and hereafter
when ships laden with those things which are
expected to beguile the poor heathen 1t will be far
better to send article at timecithcr all rum or
all missionary.
There is no part Of tho human frame so sensitive
the ankle and known in the classic lore Of physici.
oey AZ the shin bone. 1t has always been wonder
to us why that particular bone not permitted to
grow out of the top of the Uranium. TO be out
of the way As at present arranged IL is Just In the
place where IL can be hit most frequently. II n boy
In the innocence OF his youthful heart Ia toying with
hat Il IN sure st some time or other In the play to