, 1879-09-20
DivcrSitieS.


Zulu women don't bang their hair.
Their husbands save them the trouble.
The biggest firts among the girls ut
Saratoga are the poorest housekeepers.
Half-sleeves are all the rage with young
ladies' who possess heavy gold bracelets
The amoun, of space occupied by wo-
man when she calls at the post-otfce Is
simply remarkable.
About the hardest thing feller kan do
IL to spark two gals at the same time and
preserve good average. Try it.
When you hear man Dragging about
his many virtues, don't let him see where
you hang the key to your hen-roost
There is n great difference in milk.
maids. The milk made in the country is
not the same as the milk made IN the city.
Touchingly picturesque, tenderly sus-
gestive, and bewtchingly piquant is about
tho language to he employed in describing
the new fall bonnet.
g There is no remedy for love-" said
Thoreau, but to love more. Qnite
TRUE. The more of them You love, the
less You care for any one of them.
"Why does your dog follow me r fret
fully asked Sara, indicating poodle that
had been her escort for some blocks. He
thinks you are a bone" was the reply.
Mi call lille Buttlecup. dee lille Buttlecup.
ALE same mi not neyel tell why.
But still mi call Buttlecup. poo lille Buttlecup.
Sweet lille Buttlecup mi.
A ladys underwear is described by the
delicate and dainty term Z" lingerie" but
man is Obliged TO use such blamed COM
mon-place terms rs - shirt and night
gown.
Some men are captivated by a womans
laugh, Just as some men predict pleas
ant day, because the sun shines out clear
for Il moment They forget the chances
for squalls.
\ woman who comes to church half an
hour late in order to show off her good
clothes should be looked upon mildly.
She is simply making room IN heaven for
two woman IN calico.
A Massachusetts, lady is reported to
have scolded her little boy for takinga
drink Of water at Il hotel. For" said
she, we pay dollar for our dinner, and
water is very filling.
4 woman may wear her hat knocked
into any conceivable shape, and both her
self and hat are perfectly lovely but
Just let 4 man Jam III one side of the hat
he wears and he is at once proclaimed a
first class rowdy
Mawed Muller on a summer day
On cider got clean DER the bay:
Beneath her torn hat glOwed a mass
Of fire red hair coarse as grass.
Singing she worked, and her discordaut lay
The birds from the fields all scared away.
And now sixteen or seventeen new stars
and comets have been discovered. If this
thing isn't stopped pretty soon, the young
couple who succeed IN finding that par
ticular star by half past ten, won't be
able to get home before midnight Give
the children rest.
When man is sitting on the sofa on a
fine evening with pretty girl, and the
conversation is getting to be decidedly
nterestin. to both, it is terrible t. have
nail work ont Of the plaster and let
chrome of g Washington Crossing the
Delaware down on their heads
'Dwas dot way since ! vas a schildt;
NV hobes dey always vas 60 deadt;
meier lofed somebody's wife
Oxcept dot feller proke my headt.
nefer trained rooshter ub
To lick dot neighbours goose mex door,
But When he'sh ready for der chob,
By shingoo, he dond't lif no more.
q don't know if it was So" says the
lady, laying down the paper but GER
tainly it seems to me as if people used to
be more yirtuous in old times than they
are now" "Oh, don't know" says her
husband " some of our fore-fathers were
gay boys, you must remember. Lady
(scandalized): What At their age.r'
"You don't seem To have made much
money by bringing your hogs down hereT
was the casual remark of bystander to
speculative agriculturist, who had driven
his hogs seven miles to the market town
and sold them for precisely what was
offered him before he left home. "Well,
no, said the agriculturist pensively, 81
hain't made no money but then -
Frightening up-"you know l had the
company Of the hogs on the way down ;"
A poor woman who had attended sew
eral confrmations Was at last noticed by
the bishop who thought it very strange
that there should be at least half a dozen
old ladies' in the world 50 exactly alike,
and all seeking confirmation So one day
he detained her and said: MY friend,
haven't | seen you here before T. She
humbly eurtsied and replied with the
most charming innocence Yes, your
lordship; / find it's good for the rheuma-
tiz, and as i have it bad / get confirmed
as often as | can.
A small boy with Big cent in his hand
stood before Michigan avenue grocery
for a long time without making up his
mind to enter. When asked what he de-
sired he inquired: "If boy should
come here and get trusted for stick Of
gum how much would it be z "One
cent" was the reply And If boy
should come here with the cash how much
would it be r "Just the same. Then
| guess III get trusted, quietly remarked
the fnancier as he slipped the cent down
into his pocket
II will do no harm if American boys
read this little story two or three tunes
While youth Of thirteen was PLAYING
with his fellows he ran against the stand
of poor, diIapidated apple and came
near tipping his treasures into the gutter.
He instantly raised lis hat and politely
asked pardon for the afront- When
asked bv his mates why he lifted his hat
to poor old cripple he replied 81
didn't do it because the apple-man was q
gentleman but rather because | am gen.
tleman-"
woman "set out row of bulbs
the other day, and turning to the chill
dren running about the yard remarked
vigorously "Now, just want you to
Get up and dance on them dahlias Just
every chance you get" and they did.
IL - aud