The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-03-13
CLIPPINGS.

ANN T1oUITY is in Rome, and fast
growing old.
ARKANSAS has ITO lunatics confined
in jails.
SAUSAGE bees" are now the fashion
in Kentucky.
A CLEAR case of body-snatching A
dog stealing sausage.
SKATING suits are made of dark blue
cloth, trimmed with bands of fur.
WHY is an enraged snake iks the let.
ter 81 ? Because it is an asp-irate.
AFARMER gathers what he sows, while
a seamstress sows what she gathers.
THE Chinese iken drunkard's nose
to lighthouse, warning us of the little
water that passeth underneath.
A WOMAN named Henrietta Berger, at
Friebourg, Switzerland, lately hanged
her child, girl of 13.
One difference between sailors and
soldiers is that sailors tar their ropes,
while soldiers pitch their tents.
THE Atlantic cable is being "du-
plexed," process which will increase
its working capacity 10 per cent.
The excess of lawyers in Richmond
Va, is so great that very many of them
cannot possibly find anything to do in
|, the line of the profession.
THE thirst for continual novelty
makes people throw away good almanacs
at the end of every year and buy new
ones.
The Esquimaux amt much on eu-
cher, but, when you come to tackle 'em
on old sledge, it's draw game every
time.
"JUDGE," said lawyer to his Honor
during lull in a case on trial, "what
do you consider the best illustrated
paper?" A thousand-dollar bank
note," growled the Judge.
"a SOFT answer turneth away wrath,
but o tough anser turneth away the
carving-fo slides all over the dish, and
covers the head of the family with gravy
and confusion.-Palck.
@Two MOUTHS with but single stew,
two spoons that dip as one," as the
young man remarked to his dearly be-
loved after giving his economical order
of zone stew, two spoons"
WE no longer question the propriety
of considering vessels in the feminine
gender. They run each other down al.
most every day in the English channel
Turner'S Falls Reporter.
A BUG bites an oyster, and lol pear
begins to grow. But, if bug bites q
man in clearinghouse, he forthwith
consigns his landlady to the same place
that ngerson is trying to abolish.
THERE is said to be an old Turl
named Pavanovia living at Bihatz, Croa
tia, who is 125 years old, and able tx
carry sack of 100 pounds of wheat tt
market.
"I COULD not but feel for him." "Ver
lily, friend" replied the Quaker, @thol
didst right in that thou didst feel fo
thy neighbor; but didst thou feel in tn
right place? didst thou feel in tn,
pocket?'
A YOUNG lady said to her lover
"Charley, how far is it around tn
world?" "About twenty-four inches
my darling" replied he, as his arm en-
circled her waist. She was all tn
world to him.
AJAX defed the lightning, accordin
to the old poets, with considerable sue
cess. It must be remembered, however
the fluid was not the modern New Jel
sey variety. This makes all the differ
ence in the world.
ct DON'T do this business for profit,
said barber, when asked how he coul'
afford to shave man for 5 cents.
merely carry it on because I love to se
the dying struggles Of man while b
is being talked to death"
A WISE old gentleman, who knew al
about it, on retiring from business CAV,
the following advice to his son and sue
cessor: Common sense is valuable il
all kinds of business except love-mak
ing"