The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1879-01-18
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

.ovs an exchange. Truly low down beginning
Now II he had started as city editor "i inc MOTIF
Rsf,rner, what an altitude lac might nave Te''''
ed!
The editor of the Northport 2''J"'" saw sever"
Indian children sliding down MI o"Fc'oo'' '''
sthcr day, AT Pashawba Indian village
Vary absurd in the 'lttic Indians, Whch lh'
anatomy of the red man naturally aioru' mn
such wider and more solid base oil operations
for sliding than bare feet
The Brandon Miss Rtp'tb'ica" says there no
d .,glc young man in that town that parts hi
hair in the middle SHOW, want Of c''tchndh' Inc
Young man is to be pitied who hash tora'hs enough
10 part his hair in the middle
About three million pins are made every u"9
IN this country, but let fcllo" Jab one INTO MI
arm while measuring Il girls waist some moo"
K,ht pipht in the interests Of science, ana III
never thinks of tn. other two million and odd
Kapkakec has three good literary societies ant
IA nroud of them. She also has an insane asS luh
and the sweetest and prcllicst girls III t'io 81,
= PONTIAC Sentinel What do you suppose Una
man is after, anyhow, girls "A dnkdStc Hdae'N'
Obviously, and very reasonably too, he Is IN
II
one of the girls or go to the asylum See?
Whena country editor, who is struggling along
irving To rear large family ana build up to"n
on an income of $500 a year, discovers 'iav ona'
hall p,chcr hnuls in 81 900 for season, I'm take'
him ait down on the rollcr-boX and thinkt -
Nvou want good rhubarb or asparagus next
snrinp rive them now u good coat OF manure
ET.
II Won haven't the manure on hand, 1t will an
swer the purpose just AS well to spread over the
he'd few copies of the La Sale Democrat
When a Chicago paper prints couple OF col
vmns of complimentary notices OF Itself from inc
country wccklics, it aitectonately alludcs 10 thc
latter rs ''our contemporaries but in about Il
week # climbs back onto its pinnacle and puts on
its swallow tail coat and speaks OF them as the
"rooral" press-Quotation marks and ALA an
kdkGc Gazette
The La Sale Democrat says: ed Nattinger's
ignorance would shame schoolboy." The qucs-
tsn is, how in the world did the Democrat find it
suty
II the MARQUIS Of Lornc has no mission in Cana
da except to compel the Canadian ladies to wear
low neckcd dresses, he might better have STAYED
at home with his mother in.aw.-NOrfisfo,cn He,-
sM
Says the Nashville American, mournfully;
The government has scarcely rot through with
the whisky rings before the sugar rings are tack
he'd There are two Of the ingredients OF first.
class toddy in jeopardy and, whenever they lay
hands on the third observation-disclosures they
touch cold water which is an artic e Of prime ne
sessity in composing toddy, zen you hear re
rcvOlu."
Her name was Mary Maria,
She tried to kindlc The fire;
The wood was green,
She used kerosene,
She has gone where the wood Is dricr.
Peoria Journal
Greece has announced that she intends to come
to an understanding with Turkey in respect to
the frontier without the meditation of the Powers.
III.
How's this? We supposed turkey and grease
were always in harmony.
A correspondent of the Newton Uowa) Journal
asks the question, "Do hogs pay" to which the
editor responds: ave know Of some that don't.
They subscribe for paper, read it few years for
nothing and then send it back to the publisher
with the postmasters inscription refused Such
hogs rs that pay nothing to nobody if they can
help it."
One Wirty in the Hoopestown Chronicle, offers
IS 900 for witness to prove certain statements
and 81, 900 to prove others. Let him send to Lou
isana He can get score OF witnesses to prove
ANYTHING he wants to for half the money.
f D. Dalton nus started another newspaper
He Is known AZ the great western newspaper
starter. He first starts paper and then the pa
per starts him-out of town.
The prospect Of placing Grant on the Bulgar
ran throne is likely to fail 1t is feared that when
seated on the throne nc may get drunk and fall
off.
The dairy maid pcnsively MIXED the goat,
And pOuting she paused to muttcr:
II wish you brute, You would turn to milk"
And the animal turned to butt her.
'Who braycd there" asked q member of the
Canadian house Of commons Of the persons who
were trying by interruption to silence him. at
was an echo" rctorcd voice.
A Prussian offers TO throw u dam ucross Naga-
"a River, above the falls, for s5,OOO.-Ey.
Altogether too high. The one truth with which
the tourist at Niagara il most deeply and solemn
~ impressed, after passing through her 800 toll
gates and being tceccd by her hackmcn and ho-
Tel keepers is that nothing is so cheap and plcn.
tiful at Niagara solid, hearty danS.
The Boston Post drops ii, little nachet to say:
George Washington'S tracks can still be seen
on the ice over the Delaware river
Where is that "open winter" prophet: We
should like to see him standing out in the street
some Of these mornings, when thcmercury is21o
below Cairo. with nothing on but his mOustuche
That would forever fix the dccetful secr.-Ho0pcS
torn Chronicle.
Rev Thomas Mitchell of New York ailirms that
Henry Ward Beechcr il "n deadly conflict with
Christ, Paul, Peter, Jude, John and all the apos-
ties, and Of the Holy Ghost and God Almighty"
Mr. Bcccher certainly has genius for getting
into trouble. But Brother Sherman is confident
he'll triumph over them all.
reporter of the St Louis RpubicdH, who in
terviewed the famous Indian chief Joseph, who
gave Gen. Howard such II chase IS months ago,
says " lie has rather intcrcstin countcnanrc,
and hi. hair over his forehead i banged like a
young school girls" All, there is where that