davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-07-26

The Bank of England once narrowly
escaped robbery through a tunnel dug
from below house in the same block
and ending below the tagged floor of
the safe. The robbers dug too near the
surface and the floor of the safe settled,
thus betraying their plan. Since that
time the bank has owned the entire
block and taken other precautions
against a subterranean inrcad. Lack
of similar care has just resulted in the
robbery of the deposits in the Chancel-
leric at Kherson, Russia, of nearly
81 100000 in bank notes, and valuable
papers, and securities. The thieves had
dug an underground passage forty-five
feet in length from neighboring house.
They have SINCE been arrested with
most of the stolen money.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-07-26

If any country paper desires a good
subject for a prize chrome, to be entitled
=" Happiness" it should get up the rep
rcsentation of barefoot boy, with dirty
face, ragged clothes, long, unbrushed
hair, one suspender, a ten-cent straw hat.
and broad grin, standing at the back
of an ice cart, surreptitiously RECALLING
himself on the contents, while he keeps
one eye upon the driver.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-07-26

AT legal investigation of liquor
seizure the judge asked an unwilling
witness: What was in the barrel that
you hadw The reply was: Well,
your honor, it was marked whisky on
one end Of the. barrel and Pat Dufiey ,
on the other end, so that / can't say
whether it was whisky or Pat Duffey
was in the barrel, being as l am on my
oath -
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-07-26
TOPICS OF THE DAY.

JUNE has been fatal month to the
Napoleonie schemes. On the 18th of
June, 1915, the battle of Waterloo was
fought in Belgium, and its loss crushed
out the first empire, and sent the great
Napoleon to St. Helena. On the 18th
of June, 1867, Macmillan, the Emperor
OF Mexico, was shot at Queretara. This
put a final end to the ambitious plan for
forming a French empire on American
soil5 And on the Est Of June, 1879, the
Prince Imperial and Emperor in train
ing was killed by the Zulus.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-07-26

The old chimney of the house in
which Washington was born, on the es-
tate Of Wakefield" in Westmoreland
county, Va, is still standing-all that
is left to mark the spot, the tablet erect
ed by Parhe GUSTS in 1916 having
crumbled to pieces.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-07-26

THE small boy is brave enough to face
the terrors of farmer and mastiff,
when he desires some cherries; he is
heroic enough to tell his teacher that
his aunt is dead in order to get away
from school, but be has not enough
valor to catch on behind watering
cart
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-07-26

slightest movement of the body would
sound an alarm; and yet in all that
time there is not a single example of
the dead coming to life.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-07-26
A SYSTEM of insurance for girls has

A SYSTEM of insurance for girls has
existed for several generations among
the Danish nobility of Copenhagen. A
nobleman, upon the birth of daughter,
enrolls her name with the insurance
society, paying at the time fee, and
subsequently an annual sum, until she
reaches twenty-one. She then becomes
entitled to fixed income from the
society, and to apartments in the large
building of the association, which is
surrounded by gardens and park
Should her father die in her childhood
she may Immediately occupy the apart
ments if she so desires. Should she die
or marry, theincome and the right to
home both lapse. The plan is very adj
vantageous for women leading single
life,
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-07-26

ADETRoIr man, who has been investi-
eating the subject, is convinced that
horses have Dreams
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-07-26

CINCINNATI has Society for the Pro
motion Of Marriages.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-07-26

PASSING away is written on the world
and all the world contains.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21
Pith and Point.

Truth is mighty-mighty scarce.
A rich relation-The telling Of a
racy story.
Mosquitoes penetrate into the
best society.
A cuff on the wrist is worth two
on the ear.
Woman's sphere-that she will
never get married.
The way some farmers put up
corn is shocking.
Close contest-One woman try
ing to outdress another.
At the foot of his profession
The ChiropodIst.
Human happiness is bauble for
many, but bubble for all.
Dead men tell no tales, because
their tomtstones do it for them.
A mosquito is always ready to
put in an appropriation bill.
The most uncommon thing we
know of is common sense.
Everybody crosses the t's except
sailors, and they cross the c's.
Don't keep flowers for your
friends coffin. Give them now.
Sack corn from Tennessee is sell
ing in Talladega, Ala, at so cents.
A few lemons and lots of squeez-
ing can generally be found on pic
mic parties.
The editor of the Oil City Der
rick claims to have a country seat.
1t Is a stump.
Necessity may be the mother of
invention, but laziness is certainly
the father of 1t.
"Pay what thou owest" is a Bible
command. So march up and Fay
what you owe US.
1t was after Luna had passed her
first quarter that she was referred
to as the "sIlver moon"
"People never cough after taking
my medicine" advertises 8 doctor.
Is it so fatal as that?
A handkerchief Irritation is a very
simple thing. 1t only requires two
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21
fools and two handkerchiefs.

"The mills of the gods grind
slowly" This is all because the
hands are paid by the day.
"Throw him rope" is the prop
er thing to say when you see a
friend of yours over bored.
Why are good resolutions like a
squalling baby at church? Because
they should always be carried out.
The brave man dies but once,
while the red haired youth with
black mustache usually dies once
every forty eight hours.
The man who frequently makes
the remark that he is. a gentleman
is afraid that people will not other
wise find it out.
If a lady wants favor of a
boy she praises him; of a young
man, she hires him; Of an old man,
she f1atters him.
"Did you ever see the Catskill
mountains?" asked a young lady of
her lover. ''No,'' said4he, s'but Pve
seen 'em kill MICE"
"That beats the Ditch" as the
Teutonic hotel-keepr said when
one of his guests left him between
two days, forgetting to pay his bill.
We love to lie beneath the shade
and quaf the cooling lemonade, and
also feel the cheerful ants crawl
slowly up our summer pants.
knowledge is the right bower,
and one of the showiest cards in the
pack, yet in the game of life cheek
is the little joker that is oftentimes
the winner.
The family physician asked the
clergyman satirically how the patri-
archs came to live so long. "Be-
cause they took no physic," said the
minister.
A poet in the Whitehall Times
exclaims: 81 am haunted, weirdly
haunted, by the dripping of the
rain" We would advise new
shingles as remedy.
About the guiltiest looking peo-
pie in this world are a man accused |
of crime of which he is innocent, |
and a newly married couple trying
to pass off for veterans.
"Don't be an editor" shrieks the
Boston Transcript. 1t is all very
well to say, ''don't be an editor"
but when a man is too honest for
anything else, what is he to do?
The man who walks twenty-four
hours on stretch is hero, but no
one has kind word for the baby
hat yells straight ahead for seven
,een hours.
A Baltimore negro went home
Trunk aud ducked into bath tub to
sober himself; but forgot to take
lis head out of the water and was
drowned.
When man goes yachting and
comes back With an Illuminated nose
le'll tell you Me sun did it, and it,
makes him mad if you don't believe
lim.- Boston Post.
A Yermonter clsims that his State
s composed of thefnest dark loan.
In fact, We may add, esand 5 is so
scarce that grocers have had to raise
he price of brown sugar.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21

A useful thing in the long run
Breath.
The man who chased sailor said
he was making a target.
Many people take more pains in
licking the stamp than in writing
the letter.
"We've moved into our own house,
now," said Spilkins, and have quit
the pay-rent-al roof forever.
The vulgar word ''hash" is not
heard in Boston. That article is al
luded to as a culinary symposium.
Those who work the hardest
should have the softest beds, but
alack, the reverse is the rule.
The man who tears another's coat
down the middle should be made to
pay up for back rent.
When may two persons be said to
be half-witted when they have an un-
derstanding between them.
The woman who said she would
not marry the best man living kept
her word when she married a tramp.
Moses was a very meek man, but
he never hit his pet corn with a cro-
qnet mallet.
Napoleon was called the gray-eyed
man of destiny, but our African
brother is black-hide man OF des
tiny.
No Hottentot is permitted to mar
ry more than eight sisters out of
one family. This is right. Some
body else might want chance.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21
Hezekiah Redott.
BY F. NJ. wHITCHER.

He was a wonderful hand to NOR
alize, husband was, specially after
he begun to enjoy poor heath. He
made an observation once, when he
was in one of his poor turns, that /
shall never forget the longest day 1
live. He says to me, one winter
evening, as we was a-settln' by the
fire; 1 was a-knittin', { was always
a wonderful great knitter, } and he
was a-smokin', he was a master
hand to smoke, though the doctor
used to tell him he'd be better off
to let tobacker alone; when he was
well he used to take his pipe and
smoke a spell after he'd got the
chores done up, and when he want
well, used to smoke the biggest part
O. the time.) Well, he took his
pipe out o his mouth and turned
toward me, and 1 knowed some
thing was comin,' for he had per-
tikkerler way o. lookin' round when
he was :gwine to say anything on
common. Well, he says to me, says
he, "Silly," (my name was Prissilly
materially, but he most ginersDy al
ways called me Silly, cause twas
handler, you know.) Well, he says
to me, says he, "Silly," and he
looked pretty solemn. l tell you, he
had solemn countenance materially
and after he got to be deacon
twas more SO, but since he'd lost
his health, he looked solemner than
ever, and certingly you wouldn't
wonder at it if you knowed how
much he underwent. He was
troubled with q wonderful pain his
chest, and amazfn' weakness in the
spine of his back, besides the pleu-
rissy in the side, and having the
ager a considerable part of the time,
and bein' broke of his rest o.
nights, cause he was so put TO It
for breath when he laid down.
Why, it's an onaccountable fact
that when that man died he hadn't
seen a well DAY in FIFTEEN year, tho
when we was married, and for five
or six year after, / shouldn't desire
to see a ruggeder man than he was.
But the time Pm speaking of he'd
been out o. health nigh upon ten
year, and oh, dear sakes! how he
had altered since the first time ever
seen him! That was to quiltin'
to Squire Smiths, spell afore Sally
was married.
I'd no idee that Sal Smith was
agwine to be married to Sam Pen
dergrass. She'd been keeping CON-
pany with Nose Hewitt for better'n
a year and everybody said that was
a settled thing. and, 10 and behold |!
all of a sudding she~up and took
Sam Pendergrass. Well, that was
the first time / ever see my hus-
band, and if anybody'd a told me
then that 1 should ever marry him,
| should said-but, lawful sakes!
l most forgot, l was gwine to tell
YOU what he said that eyenin', and
when body begins to tell thing
/ believe in finishin' ont some time
or other. Some folks have a way
of talkin' round and round for ever
more and never come to the pint.
Now, there's Mrs. Jenkins, she that
was Poll Bingham afore she was
married, she is the tejusest indiwid-
GOAL to tell story that ever see
in all my born days.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21

Mr.. j. W. Edwards, large plant
er in the canebrake region of Ala
bama, says in letter to the Selma
Times, that it takes a boil of cot
ton six weeks to mature after the
bloom drops from the stalk is an err
ror. He says that from the latter
part of June to the 10th or goth of
July it takes boil of cotton thirty
days to become fully grown after
the bloom drops from the stalk, and
from that time on to the 18th of
September it only takes from twenty
to twenty five days for boil to get
grown from the time the bloom
drops.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21
REPUTATION m TENNESSEE. j"
Views Of the New York Times in
Regard to the Recent
Election.

The New York Times, the most
prominent Republican journal in
the United States, published the fol
lowing editorial In it's Issue of last
Monday:
The failure of the compromise
which the Tennessee Legislature
proposed to force upon the creditors
of the State is the most creditable
fact that has been reported thence
for some time. 1t shows that the re-
pudiators either shrink from the APP
plicatlon of their opinions or are
not strong enough to control the
action of the State. 1t shows that
the majority of the people are more
honest than the politicians of both
parties, more honest than most OF
the newspapers, more honest than the
''leadIng citizens" who visited New
York as apologists of robbery, and
have used their influence at home
in its behalf. Our Nashville cores
pondent, telegraphing the result of
the returns, describes the vote as
''the most remarkable one that ever
occurred in the State from fact al
though every leading newspaper,
prominent politician, and business
man favored q settlement at fifty
cents, with 4 per cent. interest, their
united counsel had no effect on the
people," To the people belongs the
honor of battling the redpuiators.
A light vote does not in this case
indicate indifference. The repudi-
alton game had been played cum
ningly. Democrats began the play,
and Republicans were found willing
to help them. There was nothing
straightforward, from first to last.
In the beginning, it was apparently
a simple case of default, which the
Government of the State attributed
to cause beyond its control. No
question had been raised affecting
the validity of the debt.
\ x
In the present condition of affairs,
it were idle to attempt to make a
party capital out of the opportunity
which Thursdays vote presents.
NelCner party, as party, can pre-
tend to be much more honest than
the other. The only hope of the
or those who, though not
are concerned in checking
the tendency to reputation, lies in
an independent effort TO organize the
people of Tennessee on the side of
good faith. Never can there be
more opportune moment. The re
pudiators foiled. The demagogues,
and Democratic, must
confess that they are not masters
Of the State. There can be no fur
ther mystification of the point in
dispute. Only one alternative re-
payment of the debt, or
its repudiation. No halfway house
breaks the road between honesty
and dishonesty; and no excuse
which politicians can invent will
hide from the people the issue they
have yet to decide. They have re-
fused to sanction repudiation.-l
What is now wanted is movement
that shall educate and organize them
up to the declaration that Tennes
see is willing, as it is able, to pay
every dollar it owes.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21

The elephants, of all other wild
animals transported by steamer are
confined in the strongest kind of
boxes, and the boxes themselves
are secured in the firmest manner.
In a storm the lions, tigers and hye-
mas prove the greatest towards.
They also suffer great deal from
sea-slckness, and whine about it.
The elephant utters few sounds
when he is sea-sick, but he sways
his great head from side to side and
looks "unutterable things" The
horse is the most nervous and sen
sitive animal that goes to sea and a
hen shows the most utter disgust
with life when sea sick.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21
But I vas gwine to tell you whs

But l was gwine to tell you what
husband said. He says to me, says
he, "SillyS' says l, "whatP' ]
didn't say what Hezekier?" for ]
didn't like his name. The frs
time l ever heard it near killed my
self laffln'. "Hezekier Bedott, y
says 1, swell, 1 would give up if ]
had such a name," but then you
know, l had no more idee o. marry.
in the feller than you have this
minnit O. marryih' the gunner. ]
'spose you think it's corus we
should ha' named our oldest son
Hezekier. Well, we done it to
please father and mother Bedott; it's
father Bedott's name, and he and
mother Bedott both used to think
that names had ought to go down
from gineration to gineration. But
we always call him Kier, you know.
Spekin' o. Kier, he is a blessing
amt he? and I amt the only
one that thinks so, l gless. Now,
don't you never tell nobody that
said so, but between you and me,
rather guess that if Kezier Winkle
thinks she's gwine to ketch Kier
Bedott, she's leetle out o. reckon
in l was gwine to tell what hus-
band said. He says to me, says he,
"SillyT 81 says, says i, "What2"
II didn't say "what" when he said
"Silly," he'd a kept on sayin'
"Silly" from time to eternity. He
always did, because, you know, he
wanted me to pay pertikkerler at
tention, and / ginerally did-po wo-
man was any more attentive to her
husband than what was.
Well, he says to me, says he,
"SillyY' says /, "What" though
I'd no idee what he was gwine to
say; didn't know but what twas
something about his suferings,
though he want apt to COM
plain, but he frequently used to re
mark that he would't wish his
worst enemy to suffer one minute as
he did all the time, but that can't
be called grumblin'; think it can?
Why, I've seen him in situations
when you'd a thought no mortal
could a helped grurnblin,' but he
didn't. He and me went once in
the dead o. winter in a -hoss
shay out to Boonville, to see sister
o. his'n. You know the snow is
amazin' deep in that section o. the
kentry. Well, the hoss got stuck in
one o'them ere 1ambergasted snow
banks, and there we sot, enable to
stir, and to cap all, while he was
a-sittin' there husband was took
with a dretful crick in his back.
Now, that was what / call q predick-
ament, don't you? Most men would
a-swore, but husband didn't- Ne
only says, says he, "Consarn it!'
How did we get out, did you ask2
Why, we might been sitting there
70 this day, fur as I know, if there
hadn't a happened along a mess O.
men in a double team, and they
histed us out.
But was gwine to tell you that
O. his'n. Says he to
me, says he, "SillyT' I could see
by the light o. the fire, (there
didn't happen to be no candle burn
in, if don't dlsremember, though
my memory is sometimes ruther for
getful, but / know we want apt to
burn candles 'ceptin' when we had
company.) 1 could see by the
light o. the fire, that his mind was
oncommonly solemnized. Says he
20 me, says he, "SillyP' 1 says to
him, says l, "WhatP" He says to
ne, says he, "We're all poor critters"
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21

A pet mocking bird is a comfort
able creature to have on the prem
ises. All sensible human beings
are naturally predisposed in favor
of an object that sleeps all day and
howls and squawks and. whistles
and yells and pulsates and gabbles
and hollers all night A man is
arrested and cast into prison if he
ventures to utter so much as a mer-
ry song upon the highway in the
dead of night, but a mocking bird
can make a whole neighborhood
miserable every night the moon
shines and never have the slightest
dread of an action for damages
We do not approve of such discrim-
nation
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21

Bangor (Me.) Commercial; De-
mocracy deadl Its principles tri-
umphant in more than onehalf the
states of the Union and its defen-
ders shaping legislation in both
houses of Congress.
Democracy dead! Counting with
in it's ranks a majority of more
than a million of the white voters
of the country and a majority of
at least quarter of million of the
entire population.
Democracy dead! Its chosen lead
ers just emerging from a battle
waged in behalf of constitutional
liberty and the just rights of free
men. Democracy is not dead. 1t
lives, and will live on. until after
ter the republican party has gone
TO its sleep that knows no waking.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21

A few years ago, coon hunting
Major had a fine piece of land which
he desired to sell. He told a friend
about it, who demonstrated with
him and said; "Why, Major, you
ought not to think of selling that
property now; it will be very valu
able some day." "Valuable the
deVil' replied the Major, "I've not
caught a coon off that land for 10
years"
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21

A legal gentleman met a brother
lawyer on Court street one day last
week, and the following converse
tion took place: "Well, Judge, how
is business?" s'Dull, dull; 1 am
living on faith and hope" every
good, but have got past you, for
Pm living on charity"
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21

? 1t is not considered proper to
speak of piano playing. 1t is piano
recital you mean. That reminds
US that there was hand organ re-
cital in front of this Office recently.
The artist was from Italy and SC
was his wife, who gave recitals on 8
a secondhand tomborine. 1t is to
be hoped that they will come again,
ard we can assure them plenty Of
room to have their recitals in.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21

The chap who sat down on the
sidewalk last winter and anathe-
matized the ice, now affectionately
shakes it up in his cocktail and
wonders how mankind could get
along without good ice CROP
Newark Call.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21

The way to get sick is very sim
pie. You have only co expose your
self day snd night; eat too much
without exercise; work hard too
without rest; doctor all the time, and
take all the vile nostruIns advertls.
ed. This recipe is infalllble.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21

An old fashioned minister in pass
ing fashionable church not along
ago on which new spire was going
up, was asked how much higher it
was going to be. "Not much," he
answered; "that congregation does
not own much higher in that direc-
tiOn."
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21

Too many persons regularly pack
up their religion for the summer
months, very much as ladies pack
up their fuis in camphor. But will
religion keep as well, and come out
as well preserved as the furs usually
dn9
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21

A peasant, being at confession,
accused himself of stealing some
hay. The father confessor asked
him how many bundles he had taken
from the stock. "That is of no
Consequence" replied the peasant;
"you may call it a wagon load, for
my wife and ! are going to fetch
the remainder very soon.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1879-08-21

If Noah had foreseen the future,
and killed the two mosquitoes that
took refuge in the ark. he would
have rendered some of the strongest
words in the English language un-
necessary