Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1879-05-30
THB LIoRrMYe-RoD DBPENSsR.
A Farm BALLAD.

THE LTGHTNIN0-ROD DISPENSER
FARM BALLAD.
If the weary world is willing, I've little wore
to say
OF a lightning-rod dispenser that dropped dowr
on me one day,
with poem in his motions, with sermon il
his mien,
With hands as white as lilies, and face uncom
mon clean,
No wrinkle had his vcstmcnts, and his liner
And his new-constructed nccktio was an inter
eating sight;
Which / almost wish his razor had made RCD
that white-skinned throat,
And the new-construoted necktie had composed
Ere he brought his slook-trimmed carcass for
my women folks 60 sec,
And his rip-saw tongue buzzin' for to gougc a
cash in me.
But couldn't help but like him-as always
think must,
The gold Of my own doctrines in fcllow-heap
of dusti
When fired my own opinions at this person,
They drew an answering volloy, of very sim
liar sound.
l touched him, on religion, and the hopes my
He said he'd had experiences quite similar of
told him Of the doubtin's that's made dark my
He had laid awake till morning with that same
old breed of fears.
told him of the rough path hoped to heaven
He was on that very ladder, only Just a round
below.
l told him of my visions of the snfulncss and
lie had seen the self-same pioters, though not
quite 30 clear and plain.
Our politics was different, and at first ho CALLED
and WINGED;
But arg'ed him so able, he was very soon con-
WINGED.
And twas getting toward the middle of n hun
- gry summer day;
There was dinner on tho table, and asked him
would ne stay?
And he sat down among us, everlasting trim and
neat,
And asked short, crisp blessing, almost good
enough to eat;
Then be fired M on tho moroies of our Great
Eternal Friend,
And gave the Lord Almighty good frst-class
recommends;
And for full an hour we listened to the sugar
Talking like blessed angel eating like a
blasted tramp.
My wife, she liked the stranger, smiling on him
warm and sweet;
Ut always tlatters women, when their guests are
And he limited that some ladies never lose their
early charms,
And kissed her latest baby, and received it in his
arms.
My sons and daughters liked him, for he had
progressive views.
And chewed the quill of fancy, and gave down
the latest news;
And l couldn't help but like him, as fear l al
ways must,
The gold of my own doctrines in n fellow-heap
of dust.
He was spreading desolation through piece of
When. he paused, and looked upon us with a tear
in his off-eye,
And said, 20, happy family!-your blessings
You cali to mind the dear ones that in happier
DAYS had s. -
A uyifa l.. -
A little girl with ringlots, like that one over
thWe.
1 wor;shiped them too blindly!-my eyes with
God took them to his own heart, and now wor-
ship Him.
But had 1 not neglected the means within my
Then they might still be living, and loving me
to-day.
One night there came tempest; the thunder
peals were dire;
The clouds that tramped above us were shooting
In my own house, 1, lying, was thinking, to my
blame,
How little had guarded against those shafts of
flame.
When crash through roof and ceiling the dead
,ly lightning cleft,
And killed my wife and children, and only was
left.
" Since that dread time I've wandered, and
nought for life have cared,
Save to save others loved ones, whose lives have
-, yet been spared;
Since then, il is my mission where'er by sorrow |
tossed,
To sell to virtuous people good lightning-rods-
at cost.
With sure and strong protection I'll clothe your |
- buildings DER,
Twill cost you fifty dollars (perhaps a trhe
more),
What little else it comes to at lowest price III !
put,
Vou signing this agreement to pay SO much per
foot."
l signed it, while my family all approving stood
And dropped tear upon it-(but it didn't blot |
- it OutD
That very day with wagons came some men, both
, great and small;
They climbed upon my buildings Just rs il they
owned 'em all;
They hacked 'em and they hewGd 'em much
~ against my loud desires;
They trimmed EN- up with gewgaws, and they
~, bound 'em down with wires;
They trimmed cm and they wired EN-, and they
trimmed and wired en- still,
And every precious minute kept running up
the bill.
My soft-spoke, guest a-seeking, did 1 rave and
He was supping with neighbor, Just three
mile further on.
y Do you think, iercely shouted, that want
To Rave each separate haY-cock out o. heavens
cOnsumln fire?
Do you think to keep my buildin's safe from
some uncertain harm.
m goin' to deed you over all the balance of my
farm?" '
He looked up quite astonishcd with face de-
void of guile,
And he pointed to the contract with reassuring
smile:
It was the first occasion that he disagreed with
me;
But he held mo to that paper with a frmness sad
to see;
And for that thunderstorm, ere the rascal finally
went
paid two hundred dollars if paid single
cent.
And # any lightniR-rodder wants dinner
dialogue
With the restaurant departments Of an enter
prising dog,
Let him set his mill a-runnin' just inside my
outside gate, '
And II bet two hundred dollars that he won't
have long to wait
-WW Carleton. IN CHICAGO farmers Reyie,y.