Connecticut western news., 1879-04-30
WIT AND WISDOM.

| ito the'shoemalser. s-sg Grass gets it's dew-about the only thing in this world that does. Yz
 The greatest philosopher of tho day is he who admits what he ean'tdo. Love levels all ranks, buts you can't love an onion enough to level its rank.
 A new brand of cigars is called 1" the lottery ticket" because only one in thousand draws. An Amsterdam newspaper speaks of man who was fatally injured while attempting to commit suicide.
 What is most generally wanted in the way of navigation is life-boat that will ride safely on the sea of troubles.
 Beautiful sentimental lyric, which really will bear thinking, over:
 Speak kindly to my father
 Perhaps he may be yours! s
 The Owego Record says: "Plaut cabbage seeds in little box and watch them every hour, till they come up, and then you'll see what women cauli- flower.
 There are some races more cultured and advanced than others, more enno- bled by education but there are, no races more noble than others. All are equally destined for freedom. &E
 The rich young lady who recently married horse-car driver had taken to heart Sir Joseph Porter's pronuncia- mento, that love is front platform on which all ranks meet"
 Forms of politeDess universally ex- press benevolence. What if ssldsh men use them as means of selfishness? Liv- ing blood and passion of kindness does at last distinguish Gods gentleman from | Fashions.
 1 A scientific gentleman, who had given the subject much thought, says that when man knowingly faces death he thinks of everything that ever hap pened to him. The delinquent sub- scriber never knowingly faces death.
 Fred Douglass said in recent leo ture: "It is mistake for the negro to move North one of the most unsortu- nate predicaments that can be imagined l is a negro in snow bank; it don't look right. the colors don't blend harmoni- ously."" ] "A little five-year- old, who was. hun gry one night at bedtime, but didn't like to ask directly for something more to eat, put it in this way {" Mother, are little children who starve to death happy after they die ?" A good big slice of bread and butter was the answer.
 Thou shalt cherish thy father and thy mother. To honor father and mother is better than to worship gods of heaven and earth. If child should carry
 father and mother, one upon each shoui-
 der, for hundred years, he would not
 then do more for them than they have done for him. .....,.
 Tn a suburban school, where an ex- animation was conducted on the basis of
 general intelligence rather than book lessons the question was asked for what
 was Prince Bismarck best known. When
 the ubiauitous " small boy vehement
 ly declared, "For keeping big black dog r .. ...ss, :.
 An exchange says-and we guess 1t is true, too-"the man who is passionate and nasty is generally honest. It is
 your oily, dissembling hypocrite of whom
 YOU should beware. There is no deceit
 in bulldog it is only the cowardly cui that sneaks up and bites you when youl back is turned" ..-.s.. B. B. F There lately resided in an Ayrshire ] village & man who proposed to write ar l chronological dictionary of the Engllisf a language. Being asked what he under s stood the word pathology" to mean r he answered, with readiness and confi g dence, "Why, the art of road-making t to be sure. ;" A four year-old saw his parents pre- r pairing for church, and asked them t' g take him along with them. He was tolt l he was too little, and must wait till h e should grow bigger. "Well," returned e he. "you'd better take me now, fo ] when get bigger I may not want t'
 go." The parents saw the point; he wa
 taken. .,r.
 -Paterfamilias looks up over hi F. glasses, lowers his paper, and testil. :l observes to Maria Clytemnestra,; SIM d daughter, it certainly appears to me tha e you look in the mirror great many m l. necessary times" "Why, fathero" re d turned the young lady, "hayent +go J. counselled me over and over agsins r 5, frequently stop and reflect 2" The, ot n gentleman went on with his reading. y -"I love you like anything, said It young gardener to his sweetheart, press " ing her hand. "Ditto," said she, re e turning the pressure. The ardent love 7, was sorely puzzled to understand tn d meaning of ditto. The next day belnl l, at work with his father, he said, Daddy Il what is the meaning of dittoP" "Why. :" said the old man, "this is one cabbag ,h head, ain't it ?" Yes, Daddy. ," ]" Vel 10 that ere's ditto" "Drat it." ejaculate 'e the indignant son, "then she called H