Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1879-11-20
ZEPH PARKER'S STRATEGEM.

Dl6epyy DhUy-ldC0u sou p6OpI6!
Air they! Baby-faced enough, you bet
but / tell you, Stree, that l believe
they're 'beout born with all their eye
teeth cut in their celestial jaws; and
yew'Ve got to get up airly, sir, if you
want to take in ChineeP'
The speaker was a hard-faced, hol-
low-jawed gentleman, in glossy black
suit, which fitted him very badly, and
the remark was made in the smoking
room of the Continental" There he
was to be seen daily, and he was sup
posed to have "giVen the speckylators
fits in iles;" in other words, he was be-
lieved to have made fortune in petro-
leum. At all events he had plenty of
money, and was very generous in the
spending of it,
The conversation had turned on the
Vexed Chinese question, and he had
struck into the discussion.
81 reck' lect," he said, either was
Zeph Parker. He was deep 'un, was
Zeph! He was 'long'o me and a few
more up to Nevada, JUS 'beout the
time of the silver craze. The boys had
been washing for gold; honest-like,
meow gittin' it out O. pockets, meow
outer the stream; and when they'd done
with a bit O wash dirt, and gone off to
another claim, Mister Washee Washee
Chinee would come and go over the
dirt after them, and be satisfied with
what he got. Then come the silver
craze. All on us goes off and loses all
we'd made in gold, gifts no silver, and
comes back disappointed to try after
the gold again.
"Guess we might try and try again,
but no gold could we get; and all 'beout
us was them smooth-faced, pig-tailed
Cinnamon, gittin' on prosperous and
contented.
81 tell yew,' said Zeph, Il shall go
and murder one O. them smilin' tea
pots. l can't stand it much longer!'
"This here was in our bit of tent,
where we were trying to make our
selves happy, plaYin' poker on credit
and keepin' no account"
What forp' | sez"
"'What forP' cries Zeph. Dew yew
think that |, an enlightened sitterzen of
a free country, am gwine to set down
and be robbed % my mess O golden
pottage by pack O. smilin' washer
woman-faced opium smokin' celestial
JacobsP No, Stree, this dogs gwine
to bite'
90 But don't kinder see what this
dogs gwine to bite fur sez. Tea
NOT amt done nOthin' to YOU,
"' Mateys, sez Zeph, getting on the
barrel as had been his seat, things has
come to a purity stand pass with us,
heven't theyP
.'' Right, old boss, sez some one,
hammerin' the chest lid as had been our
table.
"'Raz any man here got any tobac-
COP sez zeph.
"'NoP
"'Haz any man here got any old
Bourbon whiskyP'
"'Nop
"'Haz any man got any dustP'
80 Mop
"'Any flour, or pork, or boots, or
new blanketsP"
"'No, no, no, nor
"'Then them Chinese has, contin-
ued Zeph; and what / sez is this-as it
is sin and shame to let pack of
heathenish cusses like them teapots, as
never goes to churches nor listens to
"' l say, Zeph,' sez some one, when
did you go to meetin' lastP'
"' Never you mind, sez Zeph, and
don't interrupt a man as wants to give
you suthin' to eat. A set o. cusses,
sez, as never goes to meetin' and
blieves in nuthin' but joss-hOuses.
say it's sin to let 'em be gittin' fat on
our land, while we're as thin and
as-as-as--'
"'A AS ole Zeph Parker himself sez
Tom Paggins.
"' Wal, ez thin ez 1 am, if you like
sez Zeph.
{" This is all very purity, 1 sez, but
we can't go and take claim from the
Zeph; nor we can't rush 'em
and annex the dust and nuggets they've
washed out.
No. said Zeph, winkin' one eye;
8 but we kin strategise 'em.'
- 'HoWP' I sez. Don't kinder see
it. They're too deep to be done
a. YahF sez Zeph, they're beout