The weekly clarion., 1879-12-10

not quite idiot enough to expect to see
the Roland from whom | had parted
thirty years before, but Imagined tall
majestic man, whose brow would be IL
Illuminated by the noble life of self-sacri-
fee he had led, who would be exalted
and raised above ordinary humanity.
Well, we'll, the old dream dreams as
well as the young.
For Roland came home thin, stoop-
ing man, with wizened face, dried and
wrinkled; keen eyes and narrow, firmly
closed mouth. He was not here week
before | could read every thought of
his narrow soul, and saw there ostenta-
tion, greed, vanity and utter selhshness.
The love | had believed in was simply
the hope of securing a domestic slave,
for Reuben had told him was still sim
gle for his sake. A young wife, he ar
gued, would be exacting. capricious and
extravagant; but sensible woman OF
my age would look after his comfort and
be duly grateful for being chosen from
all the galaxy of younger and more at
tractiye women.
my letter had renewed our engage
ment, and | tried todestroy my own dis
elimination, to renew the glamour of
my youth, to stir anew the fire of love
fast dying in my heart. Roland near
here built superb home for his bride,
and he wearied me with descriptions of
the great show he intended to make,
the superb furniture he had ordered,
disappointed that was not loudly CRATE
full for the immense advantages his wife
would enjoy.
Every time he came to see me we
drifted further apart in all the sympa-
thy and affection that alone could make
married life happy. | was disgusted
with the egotism and ostentation Of a
selfish money-worshipper, and he was
disappointed at my GOODNESS and the alb
sence of that grateful slavisha affection
he expected to find.
1t was year before the house was
completed, the furniture bought, the
gardens planned and planted, and the
establishment placed upon the footing
of most ostentatious wealth. | knew
that Roland was dreading the time when
he must ask me to name the day for our
wedding, and resolved to spare him.
We had been driving together, and
| had listened patiently to minute en-
umeration of the beauties of the horses
and carriage and detailed account of
the cost of each. Conversation had
tagged, when I.told Roland, kindly but
decidedly, that | saw plainly that the
marriage of which we had talked could
be productive only Of misery for both
of us.
:" Our youth is over l said to him,
'and with it has gone the love we once
felt for each other. We see only each
others faults, and it is too late to build
up a new romance. Let us be good
friends, but no more
g He urged me little, not warmly,
to reconsider my resolution, but submit
ted with rather mortifying good grace
when | insisted. We parted at the
gate, friends only, and we kept our
friendship till Roland died. He mar
ried, as you know, mere girl who was
dazzled by his wealth, and they were
most unhappy. Perhaps no one knew
so well as myself the secrets of the mis-
erable houshold, for Roland taxed my
friendship by demanding sympathy for
all his trials, and poor little Meta, who
was one of my old music scholars, came
to me with all her troubles.
at may be, I cannot tell, that / might
after all have made Roland happier than
the young wife he chose, but | cannot
regret my decision fortmy own sake; |
was too faithful to the Roland loved
for thirty years to marry the Roland
who came home to me.
''That was what papa meant by
faithfully faithless ?" said Jennie.
Yes, your father knew all my strug-
giles between what seemed my duty and
what my heart dictated. We cannot
renew our youth in this life, Jennie,
and the attempt only produces a pain
ful mockery. Had l married Roland
when we were first betrothed he might,
with loving wife, with children grow
ing up around him, have retained the
generous, manly impulses, the noble
heart that won my love"
g But years of solitude, devoted en-
tirely to the task of making and saving
money narrowed heart and brain till
there was nothing of my hero left in the
Roland Wells who died yesterday, and
whose widow / do not envy, though she
will have handsome estate and fortune,
while | am only little old maid, teach
ing music for my daily bread,
GTF-oona;daro<5 TriaoS