The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1879-07-03
Dartetn.


II you are troubled with sleeplessness imagine
you have got to get up, and off you 60.
happy mother Of male twins enthusiastically
refers to her treasures as her sweet boy and boy.
The man who dreamt he dwelt In marble hslll
woke up to find that the bed. clothes had tumbled
off,
Simple pity aint much better to per on thar
an insult but to pity him with Sj.bill is biz
ness.
Music hath charms to sooth the savage. This
is why we occasionally see a cross dog with a
brass band around his neck.
clock having struck the hour Of l. a tender
hearted woman exclaimed "Oh what q cruel
clock I" why 60 ~ asked friend. Because II
struck Its little one"
An Ohio man recently started out to walk one
hundred hours without sleeping, but after putting
in ten hours he kicked himself for a d, T. and
went TO bed.
my dear said Mrs. snodgrass, shuddering,
"how do these awful men succeed in entering
dead peoples vault?' with skeleton KEYS, I
presume" unfeeliDgly replied Mr.. s.
Adolphe to Araminta, on their way to church
'How would were prayer bo you clasp 80
lovingly" Reply-"How would you were for
then could shut you up"
"some confounded idiot has put that pen where
cant and iL' growled man the other day as
he searched about the desk. "Ah uni yes l
thought sol' he exclaimed in lower key, as he
took the article from behind his ear.
Revenge is sometimes gained by making an i'm.
nn0pnt rplOFt n q in tho nf ho eN,,Jo
said, in response to leproOf for the lowness of
his position In the class "Well professor, never
mind, presume am as much to blame as you
are"
The mule Is disappointing animal. One fell
down shaft in Maryland eighty Ave feet deep.
Everyone said, THAT mules dead;" but It was
hoisted up uniIjuTed and walked away Just as
everyone said, That mules not hurt" 1t laid
down and died.
Columbia avenue, Sunday afternoon: Misera.
BILE street mucker TO Snodkins, the belt Of whose
ulster was dragging-"l say, Old Hoss, II you
don't tighten up your belly y-band youth lose your
blanket" (And snodkins had to keep on look.
ing pleasant as II he hadn't heard it,
THANK God for q free gospel" said an old
church member, suddenly carried away by the
eloQnence Of the preacher. Five and twenty
years have been a church member, and It has
not cost me as many coppers" MAY the Lord
forgive your stiDgy soul |" said the preacher.
A family Is like an eQulpage First the father
a dTaught horse; next the boys. the wheels, for
they are always running around; then the girls
they are surrounded by fellows the baby occu.
pies the lap board; and the mother-well what's
a wagon without a tongue, anyhOw2
A young man whose conduct had always been
above suspicion went to neighbours house the
other night and stole kiss from q young lady's
lips The next day he became conscience strick-
en- on account OF the theft that he went over to
the neighbours house and put the article right
back where he found II. II being his first offence
but who shall be able to judge as to that2
The question is very often asked; "where was
Moses when the light went out" Now, II the
light was very dry when 1t went out, we think
that Moses must have gone with 1t to see what It
was about or, perhaps he was in the parlor q,
the time and was only too glad to zee 1t GO out
or, perhaps--but as history Is silent on this point,
we will merely say that Moses and the light had
a misunderstanding, and, Of course, the light was
very much put out"
Nine. c., dressmaker, has a great deal Of |
trouble with her sewing girls The other day |
one Of them came to her: Madame, fear that
l win not be able to work much longer think
that am getting blind" "Why, how is that2
You seem to get along pretty well with your
work" Yes; but / can no lorger see any meat
on my plate at dinner" Nine. c. understood
and the next day the young ladies were served served
with large but very thin pieces OF meat. Mnat
happiness" exclaimed our miss, my sighl mas
came back, can now see better than ever"
How ia that madamoiselle" why, at this mo-
ment can see the plate through the meat"