Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1879-08-30
NO MORE METHODIST PIE.
Religions Decentralization ON Ruby
Hill, and Its Cause.

~ "Aao AsS NWu8es
For some time past religious matters on
Ruby Hill, at least so far as the Methodist
Church is concerned, have run in ANYTHING
but a smooth groove, and the result is Chat
to-day the godly portion Of its denizens
sadly acknowledge that they are democrat
lied; in fact have been routed horse. foot
and dragons, and Satan's imps hold high
carnival on what once was sacred ground.
The whole trouble appears to have start
ed some months since when Rene Atkins,
who is, or was, a deacon and trustee in the
church, and who might be supposed to
know better, instead Of listening to and
profiting by the words Of wisdom enunci-
ated weekly from the pulpit, and utterly
obvious 10 the portraits of hell and future
damnation so wildly drawn, passed the
hours OF church service in flirting with all
the pretty girls in the congregation, and
capped the climax one night by attempting
to press a blushing damsel to his palpitatine
bosom. That was too much for human en-
endurance, and Rene only escaped a court
martial by solemnIy promising that in fu-
ture he would confine his counting opera
tons to other localities. Rene's bad ex-
ample, however, proved contagious, and, it
grieves us to say, extended to the pulpit.
There never has been a minister regularly
stationed on the Hill, and the pulpit has
been alternately filled on Sundays by gen.
tlemen who work in the mines, while Of a
Tuesday evening either Mr.. Kicker or Mr..
Phelps have been accustomed to wrestle
with Ruby Hill deviltry. 1t seems that
one Of these self-constituted expounders
Of the Gospel, and who is ssid to have
frequently fallen q victim to the ten
der passion, surrendered to the charms
Of a fair member Of the congregation.
Now, all might have gone as merrily as
marriage bells but for the simple fact that
a husband stood in the way, and we are
not sure that the reverend gentleman him
self is matrimonially eligible. But love
laughs at locksmiths, and all that sort OF
thing, and SO our clerical friend, who was
unable to approach nearer his inamorata
than to bid her the time Of day, improved
his opportunity by preaching to her in
stead OF the congregation. This soon came
to the husbands ears, and in language
more forcible than religious he announced
that he didn't propose to stand any "such
damned nonsense" and with the wisdom
Of a Solomon and the cunning of q Corsi-
can he set about to put up o job on his
rival that has proven peculiarly vain. On
Sunday last When Oliver Rule, who con-
ducts the Bible class, reached the church,
he found his scholars patiently waiting for
some M to open the door. The key,
however, had disappeared mysteriously,
and it gives us pain to say that it has not
as yet been found. Oliver had no id a OF
s~urrendering without a struggle, and think
ing he might open the door from the in
side. proceeded to crawl in q window, and
in doing so "busted" that portion of his
breeches always next to the chair. He
did not succeed in his laudable purpose.
and gave up the task in disgust. On Tues
day evening when Mr.. Phelps reached the
church, not only the door but all the win
dows were fastened, and the reverend gen.
tleman returned to Eureka firmly i'm
pressed with che idea that for deeds that
are dark" Ruby Killers bear off the palm.
OF course it is only surmised as to who
the individual is that has succeeded in
demoralizing the congregation, for they
are demoralized to such an extent that the
property is offered for sale, one of the con-
ditions being that the purchaser shall not
demand a key for the building. Any one
desiring to purchase a valuable piece OF
property, etc, can learn further p~articu-
lars by inquiring Of Rene Atkins, Presi-
dent Of the Board Of Trustees.