The daily gazette., 1879-03-19
Two Majors.

-
of the State. He had been duly elected
major, and commissioned by his excel
lency the Governor, to fulfil the duties of
that exalted and responsible situatlon.-
He was familiarly called Major, looked
up to as amajor, attended all the military
balls a. major, visited all the families as
major, was the authority in all military
matters as major, was treated by every
body-at the bar-as major, and was the
most popular man In the county except
the sheriff.
But in war, as in love, there are rivals
and 80 the Major, N. NJ, Mississippi mill
tia, learned one day, when big fellow,
who had been as wild as q rum cherry
tree all his life, returned from Texas,
where he had been 81 journlng for several
years. He wrote his name on the books
of the hotel, "Major j. johnson, Texas"
in conspicuous hand, and thereby as
tonished all his comrades and fellow
townsmen. The major-the real Simon
Pure NJ. M. major-elanced at the auto
graph contemptuously, and remarked
that he WAS only Texas major, and it
wasn't no kind of use for hiu to put on
no kind OF airs and il the Texas major
ever crossed his parade ground, he hoped
to be ambuscaded if he didn't make
him right and face leetle atom quicker
than ho ever seed reg'lars do it. If he
didn't he warnt major of NJ. NJ, Mis-
sissippi militia that's all.
/ One day the M. M. major was sitting
on the second-story balcony of the hotel
wbittling a shingle, "hs custom always
of an afternoon" when upon his secure
hour stole the Texas major, and drew a
chair by his. After brief conversation
both majors became very much excited
and showed fight. The M. NJ. major
challenged his opponent to single combat
informing him that he could double up
all the Texas majors in creation!
"1he combat thickens-on ye brave !'
shouted tire village lawyer, who had
been attracted to the spot, as well as a
number of others.
"Go it Texasm cried aeother.
"Let into him, major !" exc aimed a
third. They closed, and the blows rained
fast and thick upon each others face.
| Lay on, Macduf,
| And id be he who first cries, Hold
| enough ="
"Good lick, major |" shouted the ex.
cited lawyer. "Hit him again! He's
got no friends !"
"Hurrah for Texas" yelled the Texas
major, as he obtained a temporary ad,
vantage. "Where's your N. M. majoi
now ?"
, "Hurrah for the major !" shouted the
crowd, as the champion of the "Missis.
sippi Militia vs.. All Texas" in his turn
planted good blow In his adversary's
face.
"Heave him over the rallin', major 2
they shouted. "Hurrah p
Both combatants fought nobly ant
bled freely. Now comes the tug of war
for Greek had met Greek They clench
ed and struggled fiercely-they nearee
the railng-the Texas major had tbs
advantage-he availed himself of 1t, ant
flung his antagonist over and then, ut
terng q "Cock-a-doodle-do !" and =,
"Hurrah for the Lone STAR" retired dowr
stairs, to treat the whole bar room.
The major was picked up In state O
insensibility, with q couple of broker
ribs, and carried to bed, when the doctor
was summoned to a tend him and friend
crowded around his coach with brandy
camphorated spirits, hot vinegar and othe
restoratives. After some time the suffer
er was restored TO cohscl BUSINESS, an(
raised himself up in his bed, and slaret
around him with wild astoHishment, un
able to account for the crowd about him
The doctor, feeling his pulse, with ont
hand and holding his watch in the other
gently inquired:
"Well, major, how are you now"
"Wsll, Pm just SOS to be able to sit up
How do you find yourselfP" replied th'
major.
"How does your side feel, major?" con
tinued the doctor.
"Toleraby well mashed, l consider 7
replied the major.
"How is your head? ?"
caches like blue bazes !" said the ma
jor, pressing his hand to his bruised brow
"But what's it all about? How did l com,
in this fix ?"
"Don't you recollect the events thai
have recently transpired ?" said the doc
tor; "don't you recollect having fightP'
"Well," replied the major vaguely
spears to me do recollect some sort of a
skrimmage."
Don't you recollect that terrible fall
you had from the second story balcony?'
swell. now l think OF it," replied the
major, endeavoring to collect his scatter
ed senses, 81 remember did have fight,
and that somebody was thrown over the
gallery, but thought it was that internal
Texas majorp
H,nu IN