The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1879-10-14
"AN OUNCE OF MIRIvI. y
A theatre Bill-Shakspeare.

A theatre Bill--Shakspeare. 't
The dust which blinds men most is gold
dust. ar .a- ..... .,-.0
ga fraud in silks" is the startling head line
in an exchange. All! she went back on you,
did she L? '.
An Irish lover remarks: "It's very great
pleasure to be alone, especially when yer
sweetheart is wild ye."
Never write obituary notices upon EXPIRES
idents daughters, unless you know they are
dead G. Washington CEiids.
An Irishman who had on very ragged
coat, was asked of what stuff it was made.
"Bedad, don't know; l think the most of it
is made of fresh air.
Girls are no better for being squeezed. But
we don't suppose that there is young man
within the reach of this newspaper who will
believe 1t until he is tired Of experimenting
He felt bit jealous after see ing her dance
all hour with another fellow; but he was for
giving, and when she came and sat down be-
side him he put his arm around her and whis-
pered--" With all thy waltz | love thee STILL"
/" Neyer leave what you undertake until
you cali reach your arms around it and cleneh
your hands on the other side," says a recently
published book for young men. Very good
advice but what if she screams ?-Dedcon
Smith IN Cincinnati Gazette.
A stranger went into Stamford payer
meeting and spoke so earnestly and with such
feeling of the love Of God, that the Stamford
people suspected him of some crime, and set
detectives to work shadowing him during the
rest of his stay in the illage.-Danbuy
Ne,rs --".... '.F
They were talking about the weight of diff
terent individuals in certain family, and
the daughters young man. who was present,
spoke IN before he thought ana said: 81 tell
you that Jennie amt so very light either,
although she looks so.' And then lie looked
suddenly conscious, and blushed, and Jennie
became absorbed in studying a chrome on the
wall.
"Sign your name here" said his Honor to
a man with black eye who made complaint
this morning against the citizen who had done
the blackening.
II can't write, sir" replied the sufferer.
"Well, make your mark then. This" adj
ded the Judge, mournfnlly, "shows the neces-
sity of teaching drawing in the public
schools.
\ father in Jacksonville has purchased
AT ten O'Clock it strikes loudly, two little
doors open and man with dressing gown
and cap on glideS out holding in his hand a
card inscribed Good night" As he bows
and smilingly retires back into the clock, the
young man takes the hint, says "Good night
to the fair daughter and departs.
He had just landed from three years
whaling voyage, and overcome by his joyful
receDliOn found himself before the police
court. "Your honor" he said, plaintively,
''I'm simple sailor, lowly born" ''Thirty
days for the drunk, six months for the pin
afore,'" was the ringing sentence, aud the
poor tar, hcwildcrcd, was dragged to his dun
geon cell, and deprived of telephone COM
mlnication.
They We're walking along the village street,
and they were newly-marred husband and
wife. The air was insufierabty hot, when he,
looking at the signs, Ice cold Soda and
Lemon ice cream" said: .'lce is very bad
for tie teeth it ruins the enanlel.' Then
she took out ler new set, and putting them
gently behind he tylng-poSt said: "Sweety,
we will take all the precautions and save the
enamel.
\ bold bad burglar recently broke into the
house of an editor, in the watches of the
night. The editor awakened and questioned
the intruder: .!What do you here? What
look you f0r?' Said the burglar grufliy !:
"Money." Hold on a minute" quoth the
editor. sand will help you; I've been look
ing for ten years, but perhaps the two of lis
may have better luck" Then was the bur
glar dsgusted, but the editor called it Il joke
and insisted that the burglar ought to set 'em
up.
ED lpt ha