Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-02-05
Well, [ Should Smile!
stamp act-A clog dance.

An advanced pupil-a protruding eye.
Oarsmen should wear their hair in
rowlocks.
Princess Louise carries a little cane;
so did Eve @re =,
Is lady's hair someth ing to adore
when it is banged? -. u.s..
A hen begins to pay interest when
she gets her coup on.
Half loafi is better than q loaf Of all
the time. a"ea '..gs ~
Every tramp is in favor of the ate
hour law. t.. ~. .
IT'S sever thus-said Alexander when
he cut the GOrdian knot. . -
Venice is overrun with blind men,
although she is mistress Of the sea-,
Did you ever hear a hogshcad speak?
If SO, what was it the hogshead?
The only people who really enjoy bad
health are the doctors.
A fashionable wrap-Hammeri ng
with the beer mug for more lager.
A still misunderstanding of a whisky
copper.
Many a son of toll is worth many
ton of soil. .eHj.t e,H#t#
Song of the ready revolver" A
charge to keep I have" a
A bad thing to sharpen--The waters
edge. -. -... -sr. ..t.s... 49,.
Some men are like. brooks; they are
always nurmuring. ..r. .tT .
1t is the trade dolor that we want to
riI # hn do Il 81
lar
A new brand Of cigars is called "The
lottery ticket" because only one in
thousand draws.
One of Webster's definitions of "plum"
is 50 handsome fortune, the
world plumber. .i ...t ., .sa
A new commandments imperatlvely
needed: Thou shalt not commit aduiter-
alton.
The difference between our sanctum
and a dairy is: One has an easy chair
and the other a cheesy air.
1t is estimated that 100000 worth
of IS have been scratched out since the
new year began. Merasha Press.
Is it not time to hear that the cold has
injured the peach trees? They have
this kind of f. eeze peach down south.
After fellow has logged trunks and
baggage in hotel for awhile and gets
discharged, he becomes an exporter
Neto Hauen Register. e..-1sI
Said a philosopher: II don't like
man who is intimate on short &C
quaintance, because he is almost sure
10 be short on intimate acquaintance"
"Our enormous consumption of tim
Der" is theme which all young men,
who chew toothpicks on hotel verandas,
are requested to consider.
We hear of country school-mistress
who encourages scholars in running
matches. She teaches the young idea,
in other words, how to scoot. I 3.
Yesterday policeman arrested boy
who had an onion tied IN the corner
of his handkerchief. The charge against
him was carrying concealed weepins.
When fast young men in Reno, New,
get into dispute, instead of resorting
to blows, they 60 into the nearest saloon
and shake the dice to see which is the
biggest liar.
An Irish gentleman having purchased
an alarm clock, an acquaintance asked
him what be intended to do with it.
"Och" answered he, "sure I've nothing
to do but pull the bell and wake myself"
Ice dealers have already put in con-
siderable work In preparation for the
season, when it won't make a family
mad to have a chunk of. ice taken into
the house.-Fond da Lac Reporter.
Already it is announced that the
theft" of the fruit crop for another sea-
son is ruined. Shippers will probably
order the bottoms Of their baskets
raised another inch or so, on the strength
Of it.-Fond du Lac Reporter.
When the American citizen of elegant
leisure surveys the magnificent equip
age OF Kurnel Gosh Billings in Sentral
Parque, he stands spel-bound with
admiration, and remarques to hiz kom-
panion, E'Wot a mitey thing is letters. -
NeaU York Commercial advertiser. a
In view of the great sufferings of the
poor this winter weather, a sentlm entail
young lady worked until midnight for
three nights embroiderlng blue fam
mel ulster for her favorite bIack-and- tan
terrler.-NeW Haveao Register.
About this time Prince Bismarck steps
around to his tailor's and remarks: Say,
Schn elder, just put q copper lining to
dem goats and bapts. will you? | drinks |
We have anoder Z,cialist schutzenfest
poody sudden, maybe"
A fisherman who found his tackle |
gone and crooked pole in It's place re-
monstrated: This amt square; give
us anew deal" If you want nude
eel" replied one of the party, "you
must catch it and skin it YOURSELF
There is no doubt about it, man
feels terribly chagrined when lady at
tracts his attention at the breakfast
table sufficiently to enable him to forget |
what he is doing and pours the molas- |
ses down his sleeve instead Of on his |
akes.-Huttord Sunday Journal.
You can get an autograph letter of
Daniel Webster for eighty cents. You |