Smyrna times., 1879-05-28
The First Book Agent Of the Season.

He was good church man and true
man and every inch of him, but, as he sal
doing off his midday meal, likewise his
sugar and nutmeg that had preceded it,
his wife was slightly panied to hear him
conjugating an unmentionable verb The
verb, you are aware, kind reader, that don't
commence with n and end with d-but
follows generally the t'other direction.
"Why Colonel Slashman" said She
even she was beginning to drop the " Mr."
for the more imposing Americanism, what
can be the matter with you, my dear? just
elected Vestryman at Saint Hieronymous
Church, and making use of such terms
What would our rector say ! So soon after
Easter too IL declare its distressingW
"I know all that, my DEAR" replied Col.
Slashman, penitently, "and l hope the
Lord won't count it too hard against me.
But dog my eyes don't you see him
coming "-and as he spoke he fired away
at lately rejuvenated fly which had lit on
the fine point Of his warlike proboscis-
naturally doing that member more damage
than he did to the departing insect.
Him who? the fly ?--I see him going
too!' chirped the facetious little wife with
an expressive glance at the reddening face
of Col Slashman.
"No! Margeryl no! not the fy--but a
| worse nuisance still. Here he is nearly at
the gate"
ooh Lord, its the book agent p piped
the alarmed old lady, "and only the first
week in May-commenceda already Hoped
| the dear soul had a country school some
where to keep him till the first of July.
| But, no here he is already. You may en-
tertain him, DEAR" continued she, making
a break for the inside of the cool summer
| house.
"Stay !" vocifarated the Colonel with a
second lapse into the conjugatiOn of that
most unvestrymanlike verb, don't bulge,
Margary! for NV sakel For you have had
two maps already to my knowledge since
breakfast time, and this is my only chance
before late at night-caucus meeting you
know after supper. But l say p added he
making his voice still more clearly audible
" for every book agent and lightning rod
man that you can talk against time with
this season, I'll drop gold dollar in youi
mite box. Do you understand mel"
Yes, she understood him, for she bounced
back into the verandah, and shot a most
encouraging glance in the direction of the
high collar and white neck tie which car
ried along with them the fragile remains o.
the Book Agent. That glance seemed tc
say:
"Oh yes, know it all-you are a con
sumptive clergyman, just from Florida O.
Minnesota, National Publishing Co., Illus
trated Travels in the Holy Land, Land
marks of Universal History, Life of MOODY
: and Dick Deadeye to boot. Come along
poor hoy I'm not at all sure I'll conclude
: to order a volume, but I'll do better THAI
} that-L'll make gold dollar out of Colone
Slashman ~
And in her eagerness for the talkin,
| match, she was ready almost to call out t
/ him and make him come in ana exhibi
, his wares.
But alas for the first gold dollar of tn
season, Slashman had pitched his voice a
. a most effective key, and there must hav
been something peculiarly depressing in tn
: tone to the spirits of the Illustrated Travel
E and Life of Moody man. For he squinte
: at that verandah with a pathetic glance
l which seemed to insinuate 1" No taste fo
Q solid literature there u and he gave hi
t pack a tighter grip and his high collar
l sort of twist in the other direction, and h
P kept the straight highway without quive
y Sensibleielow, thatW quoth SlasEmar
{: who had watched the effect of his gf
y toned oratory and enjoyed it immensal!
u "Almost q mind to call him in and mi
{; him .julep anyhow !"
"The great, gawky goose" muttere
h Mrs. Slashman, with an air of genuine di
It appointment. "To be at the very gait
II and then let Colonel Slashman's mischit
e drive him away! He can't be a genuin
It one some imposter no doubt. No boo
e agent that was worthy the name ever stoo
e on his high dignity like that. Never min
e old fellow" said she apostrophising h,
q sleeDinr sDOuSe, HVOu NAV crow over n
v, now, but I'll make that dollar yet, if ha,
d the shadow Of chance, before I'm d;
'r older !''--Easton Ledger.
Il |