Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1879-07-19

Any gentleman vot will go around
your face and talk in front of your |
pack apout something's, is a shvin-
dler. / hear dot Brown say week
before next apout me, / vas hen
specked husband. Dot vas lie.
De proof of de eating vas in de pud-
dings I am married twenty year
already, and i VAS not yet bald
headed. ! don'tyas Oonder some
pettvgoats government shtill, /
links it vas peter if a Teller viii in
suit nit his wife und got her advices
apout Something's or oder.
Dem American vomams don't
know something's nefer apout her
huspand's / eesness, und ven dem
hart times comes, und not so much
money comes in de house, dot
makes not some Inference nit her.
ShtiIl, she moOst have one of dot
pull-back in de front hoopskirt pet
tygoats, nit every kind of trim
mings. Poorly soon dot husbands
got pankrupted all to peeces. Tey
sends for de doctor, und ven de doc
tor comes de man dies. Den dot
woman vos opleeged to marry NIT
anoder mans dat she don't maybe
like NIT four, six chiltrens on ac-
count of his first wife already, und
possibly one or dwo mudders-by-
| law-Vun second-handed, und de
oder a step-mudder-outlaw. Den
she says NIT herself, 81 often wish /
vas dead leetle."
Now, if a Chermans goes dead dot
makes no Inference. Nopody would
hardly know it, except himself.
His wife goes on NIT de peesness
shust like notings has happened TO
somebody.
American VCmens and Cherman
vomans vas a tifferent kind of pee
pies. For instinct, dot same Teller
goes nit me in de butcher peesness
/ togedder. He vas an American
man-so vas his wife. Veil, many
times, ven efery peoples got de pan
! les pooty bad, dot woman comes to
her husband und says she moost
have monev. Den she goes out rid
ing NIT q carriage.
Nonce upon time Brown says
to me, " Bender, / wouldn't be hen
shpecked." So he went off and got
himself tight shust because his wife
tell him please don't do it. Den he
sits down NIT his back on de floor
una if am not dere dot time he
never would got home.
Veil, dot night me und mine
wife, We had a little talk apout some
tings, und de next day 1 says TO
Brown, Look here vonst. My
wife she makes sassageS, ind works
in de shtOre und makes head sheeZe;
und your wife vas going out riding
all de time nit de hOrse-car und a
patent tied-back cardinal striped
stocking. Now your wife must go
work in de shtore, und cut beef
stakes und make sauerkraut, or else
we divides not equally any more
dot profits"
Well, Brown goes home, and he
tells his wife about dot. Den she
come pOoty quick with Brown
around, und misunderstanding
apOut something's, in vich Everybody
took part, including my little dog
Kaiser. Poorly soon up comes bO-
liceman, und arrested us for breech-
es of promise to keep de pieces und
asSaultsng de battery or something's.
Den de firm of Bender q Brown
vas broken up. / go apOut my
DeeSneSS, utu DTOWn goes INT lie
peesness. My wife she helps in de
shtore. His wife go riding NIT de
horsecar, und efery night she vas
by a theater.
Volts de consequences Along
come dot Centennial panic. Dot
knocks Brown higher as two kites
by Jimmy ! My income is shtill
more as my outcome. But Brown
he goes around de shtreets NIT his
hands out of his pocket, und he
don't got a cent TO his pack.