The National tribune., 1879-05-01
ANTI-DYSPEPTIC.


A Boy ON WAsH1NGToN.--Boys compositions are often
fearuly and wonderfully put together Here about
George Washington that puts the Father of his Coun-
try stronger moral basis than any that has yet APP
peared 1t the still further purpose of showing
that where there is real repressbe genius great ideas
somewhat precede the knac of spelling George Wash
ington little boy that lived in Virgnny what
had give him by his old man. When George he got
the max he cued tree what had cherrvs up on it. and
eat the cheIys, he and a mother boy When Georges
old foun out what George and the mother boy had
done, he called George to him an he George Washing
ton who cutted the bark oen the cherry tre? George
sails, did The old man sais you did George sais
lid, and cannot tell H. Why you tell H. sails
the oia man oos sals george IL tel H. TINS mere
feler ] blow on me- and then III be spanked twict.
Thas rite sails the old wonever you get to
bic, the eayest way out is the best
.sPArR1cK, said the priest, the Widow AIaoney tells
you have stolen one of her finest pigs Is that 50 ?'
Yes yer Honor" What have you done with it ?'
KILLED it and ate it, yer honor" O, Patrick when
you brought face to face with the widow and her pig
Judgment Day. what viii YOU be able give
Of yourself when the widow you of the theft
,s,To be sure did > Well then your Riverence TN
say, Mrs Mallory, there's your pig
SOME people when they make loss sit down despond
ent others so to work all the harder and make gain
that than the loss There is good moral to
the following At the battle of Shiloh officer rushed
up Grant, and said 'Shenela Schwarzs battery is
took Well sir" said Grant, lyon spiked the guns
before they taken? ?" Vat schpike dem
guns? No, Shenera, it would schpol um." We'll,
then, what did you do?' Do! Wy went right in,
and we took em back again
AN FRESHMAN went to the theatre for the first time
Just the curtain descended the first boiler in
the basement exploded and he was blown through the
roof coming down in the next street After coming to-
he asked, can what piece do yes play mkt
GEN LEE asked st1agger one day whom he found
eating green persmmons, if he did not know they
unfit for food I'm not eating them for food, General
replied the I'm eating them to draw my stomach
up to fit my rations
ARE you engaged >" said gentleman a young lady
mt Aarysvile the ball the other evening 81 was but
if that Pete johnson thinks going sit here and
evening, he'll be mistaken, solitaire solitaire
, YOUNG ladies who wish to have small mouths adj
vsed repeat this frequent intervals during the day
" Fanny Finch fried five houndering frogs for Francis
Fowle"
RICH but parsimonous old gentleman on being taken
task for. his uncharitablenesS, said, True, don
give much but if you only knew how it hurts when
give anything, you wouldn't wonder
AN Irishman having purchased alarm clock, an
quantance asked him what he intended To do with it.
Ocho said he I've nothing to do but pull the string
and wake mesef
''WIII the boy who threw the red pepper the
please up here and get present of nice book 2?
said Sunday superintendent III Iowa but the boy
never moved He farseeng boy
SIS THAT the second bell ?' inquired gentleman of
colored porter No, sah answered the porter dat
de second ringin de fust bell We hab but bell in
dis establishment.
AS eminent medical authority has asserted that kiss
ing and huggng dangerous to health, acyncal Boston
paper recommends marriage as "A sure preventive,