River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-02-20
Experience of a Young Man Who
Knew All About a Boat.

| Oh IHlllp Dluucy3 tbdt OCiHS doout ~
wash his hauds after hard-fought battle,
he bad just taken up the soap and turned
on the warm water, when he perceived a
particularly grimy soldier at his side.
| Handing the soap to the soldier, with the
now historic words; Thy necessity is
yes greater than NINE" Sir Philip turn
ed away, and went, unwashed, to bis
virtuous couch Cold and cynical indeed
must be the man who can read this an,
ecdote without thrill of admiration and
sudden mist of tears.
The experience Of boating party in
oul harbor one Sunday early in May de
serves to be set forth, since IT cannot fail
to teach a valuable lesson that people
should not pretend to know what they
do not know. unless, of course, they arc
lawyers and are required to give legal
opinions without consulting the authori-
ties There is young man residing in
this city who, until recently, was in the
habit of spending his Sundays on the
south shore Of Staten Island. He is q
rather understandable young man, but
he has a fondness for beng regarded as
an authority on aquatic sports. People
who do no; know him very intimately,
firmly believe that he is a yatchman of
great experience, and even those who
know that he does not own yacht and
who never personally saw him aboard any
vessel except Staten Island ferry -boat,
thi TX that he is an accom- plished and
fearless sailor, and always apply to him
for information as to ocean steamships,
naval vessels, yacht races, rowing match
es aud subjects connected with the canal
business.
Or the Sunday in question be was sit
ting on the piazza of Staten Island cot
tage, c0nversing enthusiastically with
sevef young ladies and three young men
Of the delights of yachting. Nei her Of
the three young men had ever been in a
sailboat of any kind, and the seven youpg
ladies were, Of course, ignorant of nauti-
cal matters. Presently, one of the ladies
cxpr, ssed the ardent wish that Mr. With
crs- tie nautical young man could take
them out for sail, and all the party
echoed the wish aud asserted that sail
would be perfectly splendid. Mr.. With
cts himself greatly regretted that he had
not thought to hire a boat at Clifton, and
added that it really did seem hard to be
kept IN shore when there was such nice
breeze blowing. Just then casual small
boy, who was listening to the converse
ton. remarked that there was a big cat
boat near by which could be hired for the
day. and volunteered TO seek out the own
err Of the boat and hire it. Mr.. Withers
began to object that perhaps the ladies
might suffer from sca-sickness, but this
objection was overru,ed, and he was as
erred that under the care of so skillful a
sailor everyone would feel perfectly well
and Happy,
1t Yas with many misgivings that the
nautical young man accompanied the
PARTY to the boat. Luckily, the owner
was at hand and acccded to Mr.. Withers'
apparently careless remark that the sail
might as we'll be got up while he ran
hack to the house for his other coat.
Thus, when Mr. Withers returned he
found that the boat was ready to be cast
ciI, aud that al that remained for him to
do was to take the helm and to order the
bost1iau to shove her off.
There was a nice fresh breeze and the
boat ran before it in the direction of
sandy Hook. The young ladies were
Delighted, and amused themselves by
singing lively and secular songs. Mr..
Wilbers stood at the helm and was sur
priscd to find that managing boat was
50 much easier than he supposed it would
lie. The three other young men were
secretly flied with envy. bat as they
knew nothing whatever about boats, they
could not venture TO criticise Mr.. With
crs seamanship.
The breeze ireshened, and as the boat
reached the middle of the bay it began
to roll heavily. About the same time the
skv Grew dark, and the fishing boats be
ran Ia seek shelter One of the young
men remarked that il was about time to
put about, which sentiments were
warmly echoed by everybody except Mr.
/ Withers. That unfortunate man undOubt
/ cdly would have desired TO put about
only he had not the remotest idea of the
nature of the maneuver. The young
ladies still sung songs, but it was noticed
that they row confined themselves TO the
melodies Of MessIs. Moody and Sanky
which they sung in su5dued and seri
GUS tone.
Ffesher grew the breeze, and the young
ladies' grew more and more alarmed
Again and again was the suggestion made
that they ought to put about, but Mr.
Witasrs maintained painful silence
Presently fishing boat drove rapidly by
them. and the skipper loudly suggested
that unless they wanted to visit some
unknow locality, vaguely described a!
the property of one David Jones, they
had better put in reef and run for thu
lie: o. the shore. Accordingly a demand
was made on Mr.. Withers that he shoult
Immediately adopt the fsherman's advice
To the utter CONSERVATION OF the company
Mr.. Ivithers replied that if anybody
knew ANYTHING about managing the boa
he did not care 10 do it any longer; that
in fact, he knew nothing about sail boats
, and that he had never been in one before
Whereupon he abandoned the helm, anC
leaning over the side of the boat he com
named with Nature for several consecu
tive minutes.
; BY dint Of cutting away every rop
that seemed 10 hold anything, the tire
Young men managed to get the sail dOwr
They then got out the oars, and afte
enc hour of hard labor, during whic
4 SIR. Nithers lay in the bottom Of the boa
tOTmented by his conscience ana III
stomach, they managed to reach cove
mile or so wust Of Sandy Hook. tn
, boat was made fast, and the entire part.
c set out on foot for the Shrewsbury River
leaving Mr. Withtrs physical and men
! tsl wreck behind them. How and whe
a lie reached the city no one knows, but
r i certain that he has since returned
= h1,Siress and that he carefully shuns
! his old acquaintances TO whom he ono
i used 10 boast oF his pretended seaman
d ship.
r THIS teaches US that it IS always wis
10 ba honest, if thereby we can avoi
+ getting into difficulties With unaccui
toned sail hoats.--N ]. Times
: Liatle Johnny wanted to go to churc
His smother was afraid he would make
noise, out his father said johnny know