Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-05-11
Odd COnceits.

table OF lnterest-Ihe dinner table.
Bred on the waters-the ancient mar
liner.
Openingispring Showing rat
traps.
Whale boy and you will find him full
of blubber.
The Indian says the white man is a
fool; he wants fresh meat, and then puts
salt on it,
The orange peels in our str eets are
essaying to rival the apple in occasioning
the fall of man.
''You oughtto husband your coal more,'
said the charity woman. 81 always does.
| makes him sift ashes and pick the Gin
ders."
A good report fingers on it's way, but
an i'll one flies straight to where it can do
the most harm.
A deaf mute stole coat the other day
in order that he might be taken into
court and obtain hearing.
Briggs, who has for ten consecutive
New Years made a VOW to smoke no more
and broke it as often as made, says he has
decided this year to continue smoking,
and quit lying instead.
Des Moines, Iowa, has brass band
composed of printers. They set up type
all day, set up the neighborhood during
the evening, and then set up themselves
about midnight.
"Who prayed there?' asked a member
of the Canadian House of Commons of
the persons who were trying by Interrupt
to silence him. ut was an echo" retort-
ed voice.
Do not marry widower," said the old
lady. "a ready made family is like a
plate Of cold potatoes" ooh, FIJI soon
warm them over" replied the damsel-
and she did, ~
Mr.. Job Whipple, Of, Squawkboro' does
not see the use of building school-houses
and paying teachers to educate "a parcel
of boys and gals who know darned
sight more than their parents do already"
Two Irishmen were in prison-the one
for stealing a COW and the other for steal
ing a watch. "Hallo Mike! What time
is it," said the COW stealer to the other
"And sure Pat, haven't any timepiece
handy; but I think it is most milking
time"
"My dearest Maria" wrote recently
married husband to his wife. She wrote
back: dearest, let me correct either
your grammar or your morals. Am /
to suppose you have other dear Marias?'
An exchange remarks: s'The only jokes
women like to read are those which re-
fleet ridicule on men," eyes," adds an
other exchange, 'on taking up paper a
woman invariably turns to the marriage
co !umn.'
Mother Ito daughter who had just Civ
en- money to tramp: "Now what in
the world did you do that for? Suppose
he should buy rum with it," Poor tramp
lover hearing and making low courtesy J
"But I promise l will not, my dear mad
anne. prefer GIN"
Let us not listen to those who think we
ought to be angry with our enemies, and
who believe this to be great and manly.
Nothing is more praiseworthy, and moth
ing more clearly indicates great and
noble soul, than clemency and readiness
to forgive.
A little girl, when her fathers table
was honored with an esteemed guest, be.
gan talking very earnestly atfrst pause of
the conversation. Her father checked he1
very sharply, saying, sWhy is it that yor
talk so much?" Tause I've dot somesir
to say" was the innocent reply.
When little Thomas stoops to toy will
berries, Jam and jelly-cake, no art car
soothe the chastened boy, no nostrum ease
his stomache-ache. And if the gripping
pains defy the medicines prescribed t.
foil, his parents will do we'll to try the
limpid, liquid castor oil.
1t is not considered proper to speak o.
piano playing. 1t is piano recital 20,
mean. That reminds us that there was I
hand organ in front Of this offic,
recently The artist was from Italy
and SO was his accomplished wife
who gave recitals on secondhand tam
BORNE. It is to be hoped they may com
:, again, and we can assure them plenty 0
room to play in.
Old lady to taxidermist: ''You can Sc
| for yourself, man, you only stuffed m
t poor parrot in the summer, and here's hi
t feathers tumbling out before your eyes.
| Taxidermist: "Lor bless ye, IN, that's tn
. triumph of our art. We stuffs 'em tina
natural as they mouths in their prope
8 season.
A lady taking tea at small company