Stevens County tribune. (Morris, Minn.) 1877-1880, 1879-10-16
Wit and HumOr.

uuuue luHueuC6 On IL.
The proper place for boys to play leap
fog is on the back stoop.
The blind should 90 to the Holy Land.
where even the Dead Sea.
An Indlanna carpenter is 50 temperate
that he will not use spirit level.
Itain't 50 much what a man kan lift
rs what he kan hang onto that shows his
aktual strength.
Teaspoon Corners" is locality in
lngham county, Michigan. 1t must be a
stirring place.
All the clothes that Adam had for IA
long time was the close Of day, while the
mantle of night was his bed clothes.
What hit you, Micbaelr' "Sure, your
'snner, it was that bloody policeman there,
wild his big assegevag."
Alfred, your poem must be laid over,
having some minor defects. For instance,
gorge does not rhyme with morgue,
boy in this town has named his dog
Rome, so that by simply twisting the
animals tail he can make Rome howl.
Two twinbrothers are said to be so
much alike that they frequently borrow
money of each other without knowing it.
''What will the harvest be?" asks an
exchange. Well, just wait till the har-
vest bee crawls up your trowsers' leg, and
you'll find out.
\ sable citizen made a bet that he
could eat fifty watermelons in fifty hours
He stalled in on the thirty seventh They
Inscribed on his coffin Act. 81
An uptown clergyman thinks man
can go to church in hot weather with as
much comfort as he can go to a picnic,
AN. save Iuoney by the operation.
Hands have they, yet feel not-clecks.
Legs have they, yet walk not-tables.
YES have they, yet see not-needles.
Teeth have they, yet chew not-combs.
\ Pulaski boy recently swallowed a
pen-knife. Although not quite out of
danger, he finds some consolation in the
fact that the knife belonged to another
BOY.
Student, fresh from college, to conduc-
tor: 81 wish to get on the penultimate
car" Conductor: 1--WE have no peanut
car; you can take the smoker" Mutual
ly disguised.
An Arab soldier asked leave to visit
the home of his childhood, near one of
the most desirable of the pyramids, max
ing it as an excuse that he wanted to
see how his Msme-lukeS.
A young clerk in HoIyoke spent six
hours in a refrigerator, having been i'm
prisoned by mistake. He felt on coming
out as though he had just been entertained
at fashionable church sociable.
\ South American plant has just been
found that cures bashfulness. 1t should
be promptly tried on the man who leaves
the hotel by the back window because he
Is too ditfident to say goodbye to the
cashier and clerk.
Speak gently, speak gently; no matter
how much bigger and how much broader
across the shoulders than yourself another
man is, nor how cross he looks, speak
gently. The bigger and broader and eros
ser, the gentler.
Customer: What did you think of
the bishops sermon on Sunday, Mr..
Wigsby?" Hairdresser: well, really,
sir, there was gent sittin' in front O.
me as 'ad is air parted that crooked
that couldn't ear wordr'
A coIored man observed, while In con-
versation with a friend, 81 dusn't b'lieve
in having pardener when you've only
got small business. If yer make emmy
thing, why, yer don't get it, and if vel
lose, yer have to lose 1t ALL"
CAV, it Is not to be wondered att re-
marked Mr.. Toplofty, as he adjusted his
eyeglasses, "sea-bathing has grown un-
popular, because you see, aw, the vulgah
herd took to the watah, and it has be.
come vewy much soiled.
A man may go fishing and catch {
handsome string of fish, and lose then
out of the back of the wagon coming
home, or have them grabbed by the dos
at the house where he left his team, blu
he can never tell the story and have i
believed.
The following advertisement appeared
in the Rochester England Observer o
June 90: "On sale, set of teeth, tn,
owner having no use for them, having
nothing to chew on account of hard times
Apply Burgess street, Freehold 971*.'
An uptown man when asked last even
ing If he was member of certain
church, replied "Well, ! dunno; b'liev
am sort of an honorary member q
something. Anyhow, when they have
donation I always send something along.
AS party of gentlemen and Iadie
were climbing to the top of high church
tower one hot day, a gentleman remarked
"This is rather spiral flight of steps,
To which lady rejoined, eyes, persp
raj, and she wiped her brow as sh
spoke.
The popularity of the fly is that he a
ways returns to the same spot; but it
the characteristic of the mosquito that /
always returns to another spot. Thus /
differs from the leopard, which does M
change his spots. This is an importal
fact in natural history.
Glass in the agricultural college.-Pr
lessor: Is there any way to obtain GOO
fruit without grating or budding2 st
dent: Yes sir. Professor: Please e
plain the process. Student: Watch yo
chance, and when the farmer goes
dinner crawl over into the orchard al
steal it.
Julius, yo' young wagram, hez y
bin ter chu'ch dis mornin'?" "Deed
haz, ole man." "Who preach?" "De ps
son, specs" "You am spicy, young u
but does yer member wha' de pars
sed2' 'sSartin l does, member he s
dar'd be k'lecshun TUX up, an &
scar'd me, an skup out to borry
loan"
a little religion is dangerous THU
That is well illustrated in the case of