The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1879-08-01
Small Talk.

Cameo jewelry is giving way to the
mosaic.
There is a demand for confederate
notes at home and abroad.
An exchange remarks that Napoleon
W is so called because there are five
of him. $685.
Benedict Arnold's house in New Ha-
ven is still standing though somcwh hat
dilapidated. y M tditt es
The first watering place. hops of the
season are managed by frogs. New
Orleans Picayune. fDJ st
The amount of pin-moncy required
by the married woman depends OF
whether she uses diamond pins or roll
ing-pins.
What did the donkey say Tor do)
when he first heard of the doctrine OF
evolution? He prayed till he became a
little hoarsc.
sis Life Worth Living" is the title OF
u new book by bilious Englishman.
Let him ask all easy one. Is death
worth dying?
When West Virginia lady says she
takes her tea barefoot, she means that
it will be without sugar. This Is ex-
pressive, if not elegant.
A publisher offered 81 900 for q story
that would make his hair stand on end.
Many tried for the money; but nobody
got it, because the publisher was totally
bald.
Irish Drill Sergeant Ito squad OF
militiamen): "Pr's'nt 'rmsw (Aston-
ishing result.) "IIivens! what o
'prisint'l Just slip out here now, and
look at yersilvcs!"
els it possible, Miss, that you do moi
know the names of some of your best
fricnds?', inquired gentleman of q
lady. 81 don't even know what my
own will be year hence"
An instructor in botany recently
asked: eff you plant an annual, what
will come up" Some of the division
thought that it would be semi-annual
but the majority answered: "a condi
ton"
A girl who had been very obscrvan
of her parents mode of exhibiting thell
charity, being asked what generosity
was, answered: cts givin to the poor
all the old stuff you don't want your
self"
a Kentucky paper tells of lawyer
of twenty years practice who asked the
following instruction.: "That the court
that if the jury bcleave from the evidinct
that defendant shot an killed deceased
without malls they can't fine him guilty
of any ofens."
"Does your sister Annie over say
anything about me, sissy" asked al
anxious lover Of little girl. eyes,
was the reply. "She said if you had
rockers on your shoes they'd make 9
nice cradle for my doll" uf
A writer tells us to put .onr hands
upon our heart and feel It's muilled beat
that it will sadden us. True. But
not half SO much as placing our hand
upon our wallet and realizing from it,
thinness that we must soon become the
muffied beat.
A London newspaper relates thai
when a Frenchman, who fell overheard
from the steamer which took the Cob
den Club back from Greenwich, was
rescued and returned to deck, the first
thing he GENEROUSLY said was that he
hoped he had not kept the steamer wait.
ing.
The following testimonial ola certain
patent medicine speak for itself: "Deai
Sir-Two months ago my vito could
scarcely speak. She has taken two bot.
ties of your Life Preserver' ard now
Lob l.. i
Two more bottles. | wouldn't be with
out it,
A little daughter of Connecticut
Clergyman was left to "tcnd door," and
obeying the summons of the bell, she
found a gentleman, on tho steps, who
wished y 500 her. father. "Fathei
isn't IN" said she; ''but fits anything
about your soul, can attend to you.
know the whole plan of salvation"
i "ONcE FOR ALL."-"In your long
absence have You thought of mel?
asked she coyly. YES" replied he
provokingly, "once." Only once?" in.
CURED she, rising as If to depart
Only once" repeated he, holding out
his arm, "only onco-all the time ~
And she came right Knew York
Express.
A Dutchman once met an Irshman
on lonely highway. AS they met,
each smiled, thinking he knew the
other. Pat ON seeing his mistake, re-
marked, with look of disappoint-
ment: "Faith, an l thought 1t was you,
an you thought 1t was me, an its
naythur of u.s." "Yaw, dat is dru. |
am anuder man, and you is not your
self, and we are some other bodies"