Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-01-23
sips of Fun.

Il 4
in is what makes coed mel
out Of bad boys. This is wha
Solomon said, or words to tina
effect.
Young man ran away with ;
vessel the other day. 1t wa
in full rig, and the theft was I
crafty one. 1t was one Of St
Paul's "weaker vessels"
"The Sioux are not contagi-
ous," said an old frontiersman
I"What do you mean?" asked ;
bystaneer. 81 mean that they
are hard to catch" (" was the reply
A lawyer who had a most alb
lsrrd case submitted to him, OH
being asked ''ifthe action would
lie," answered, "Yes, if the wit
ness will lie too, but not other
wise"
A young gentleman was accu-
sing another of having big
mouth. eyes" said the other,
''but the Lord had 10 make yours
small SO as to give you plenty
of cheek"
Young Dunshudder says his
wife's mother and all his wife's
relations have been staying at
his house so long that he begins
to look upon them as CONNER
.cial relations.
The man who objects to allow
fifteen or twenty schoolboys to
see who can come the nearest to
his left ear with a SNOWFALL
would kick the cat off the fam
lily hearthstone.
To preserve good joke, put
it in an almanac or rent it out
by the year to circus clowns
and negro ministries. In this
way specimens have been kept
for fifteen or twenty years.
"Remember, now," said an IN
diana bride at the altar, "We have
separated and been remarked
four times, and about once ,y1e
will convince me that we can
never live happily together"
A well-known clergyman, OH
being accused of leaning toward
Universalism, replied that he
hoped everybody would go to
heaven, and said he, "there are
some people / wish were there
nowp
Here is a good piece Of advice
tossed ont gratis by the New
York NeaCS:' "In the worlds
broad field of battle, in the BIZ
vouac OF life, do not try with stu
pid prattle to deceive your jeal-
GUS wife,"
"Why don't men swear when
they are alone" asks DIR. Tai
mage. Did DIR. Talmage ever
lay around the fence-coimer and
see a lone farmer plow up a yell
low jackets nest? What did
that farmer say?
A silly fellow whose cars
were unusually large, once sim
perinely asked a witty LADY,!
''Will mot make a fine angelo"
swell, no." she replied, poin-
ting to his ears, 81 think your
wings are little toe high"
1t is a settled princil5le, yer
homer" said an eminent lawyer,
''that causes always produce eff
fects." "They always do for
lawyers" responded the Judge;
"but I've some times known
cause TO deprive a client of all
his effects"
A lady asked a pupil at a re-
cent examination Of Sunday
School, "What was the sin of
the Pharisces?" "Eating camelS,
marm," quickly replied the
child. She had read that the
Pharisees"strained at gnats and
swallowed camels."
Bet Why do they call it.
crooked whiskey?'' asked Mar
tha Jane. Because" answered
Fitzdoodlc, gravcly, "although
il is generally taken straight,
those who consume much OF it
are nearly always on a bender"
She was satisfied.
"If fire." SAID NJ. Joseph
Prudhomme, who had just
laid down the paper describing
the floods, ''if fire is an awful
scourge, water is a still more
fearful one. You can extin-
guish confagration, but you
cannot put out an inundation." f"
"Somc things" said an excl
ted politician, "can be foreseen
and foretold; and | now foresee,
and l viii. now foretell, that the
day will soon come when our
liberties shall be no more. This
is as certain, my fellow-eitizens,
and it is as sure, as that Romeo
founded Rome"
A little girl visiting a neigh
bor with her mother was gazing
curiously at the hosts new bon
net, when the owner queried: !: