davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-04-25
The Telephone Causes DiscOrd.

SEVERAL of the first families Of New
Haven have their residences connected
with telephones, and enjoy converse
ton without the trouble of visiting.
Last Thursday Mrs. Bargemore was
utilizing the telephone and enjoying a
delightful chat with Miss Kawdel
The subject was a party which both
had attended a few evenings before,
and considerable gossip was transmit
ted through the wire, most of it con-
cerning Mrs. Bradbrook, an impecu-
nious but fascinating young widow.
Just as Miss Kawdell, though invisible
to the lady with whom she was COM
municating, had become eloquent in
condemnation of the aforementioned
young widow, no less a person than the
widow herself entered Mrs. Barge
more's boudoir, unannounced. She
was q frequent visitor there, hence all
ceremony in her case was deemed USE
less. Mrs. Bargemore sat with her
back to the door, and her ear to the
mouth of the instrument; therefore the
entrance of the young widow was un-
observed, Thinking to surprise Mrs.
Bargemore, the visitor orept on tiptoe
toward her, when the utteranoe of her
own name, in a muffled voice, brought
her to a halt in the center of the floor.
Here is q portion of the conversation
which the visitor heard:
declare to goodness, Mrs. Brad
brook acted shamelessly. And her
husband dead only six monthsT'
"Her conduct was simply outra-
geousp returned Mrs. Bargemore.
"Why, she made such a dead set for
Fred Wilkinson, dancing with him in
four consecutive sets, that Fred's wife
had to go up stairs to cry"
"And hear that little Mrs. Wilkin-
son has since gone to live with her
mother.n
oh, the hussyi what trouble that
horrid widow has csusedT"
The "horrid widow" could not endure
much more of such compliments, and
with flashing eye she approached Mrs
Bargemore, and astounded that worthy
lady by rather forcibly placing her
hand upon her shoulder and exclaim-
ing:
Well! So my conduct was outra-
geousr'
The startled lady quickly turned, but
before she could recover from her
speeches. consternation the "horrid
widow had founced from the room,
exclaiming. with penetrating irony:
( Good morning, my UeTy dear
friend" 20
Mrs. Bargemore and the young wild
ow are no longer on visiting terms
~ Y Weekly.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-04-25
Careful Mr.. Striker.

In case you want to send a box or
parcel to- the house the twenty-five
cent express wagons are very handy
things, but your directions may not
always be understood. Mr.. Striker
had had his parcelcarted all over town,
then left at a police station, and once
when he sent a wagon after stove
needing repairs the man brought back
two-inch auger and a set of harness.
When he sent him back with them the
driver missed the house entirely and left
the articles at school-house. There
fore, when Mr.. Striker wanted to send
up a parcel yesterday forenoon, he ap=
preached an expressman, and began:
Sir, my name is Striker"
"Yes, sir"
81 spell itS-t-r-i-k-e-r,"
Yes, So do l."
al live at 496 Blank street."
eyes, know"
"My house is brick, three trees in
the front yard, iron fence, bay window,
stone dog in the yard, and name on
the door-plate."
"Yes, sir, can go right there, sir"
81 want this bundle taken up" said
Mr.. Striker.
"Yes, sir.n
Remember the place, 1876 Blank
street," cautioned Mr.. Striker.
"Ah! but couldn't l drive right to
the house in the darkest night of the
year?" was the indignant answer, as
the man drove off,
After driving. one block he turned
around and put the whip to his horse
until he overlook Mr.. Striker, when he
called out:
"Was it 320 you told me, cause I
was thinking of my sick wife, and the
number few out of my mindP"
"496, you idiotP' yelled Striker, as
he wheeled around. "Here it is on
this card"
"Yes, sir, and I can find it like a
book"
In about an hour the man appeared at
the door, and inquired for Mr.. Stroker,
and Mr.. Striker Indignantly demanded
if that parcel had been delivered.
+" Ali you are the man Twas looking
for! ! couldn't find your house, Mr..
Stroker."
"Stroker! you human hyena-my
names Strikerr'
"Is it? Then 1 made a mistake.
Enthusiastically remember it if it
kills me. Excuse me, sir, but never
got confused before, and I'm all right
now"
The man ratified away at a furious
pace, and Mr.. Striker saw no more of
HIM until reaching home. The chap
was waiting for him three doors below,
and at once began:
"Mr. Stocks, they say you don't
live here, and they won't take the
parcel"
"StoOks! Why, III kill youl My
name is Strikerr'
g Is itP Well, that beats me-"
"This isn't my house, of course. MY
house is 496. Didn't l give you the
number on a cardP''
"Why, yes, of course. Dear me,
but how confused ami No wonder
thought your name was Slocum instead
Sirusp'-Detroh Free Press.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-04-25
KANSAS.

For information relative to KANSAS. take Ihe
LFAVENW ORTIZ KANSAS APPEAL. a large
eight page weekly paper. containing each week . q
sketch maps Illustrations Of some one OF the
counties in Kansas. ,,. =,
The better lands in this state are selling n
from - 90 TO s6 90 per acre. with ereolt OF lIO
gix 10 eleven years The great bulk oi me gois-
ftc Tfere IL stiIl omen to settlers. Full informa-
ton In regard 70 soil, climate, preemptionS
bomeeteads markets. churches. schools. etc., viii
- found each week in THE APPEAL.
Price 81 OO Der annum, or s 90 for six months.
SAMPLE copies sent on receipt Of 10 cents.
Address, TIE APPEAL, LEAvEsHoRTH
KITsSs 1522-64
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-04-25
SYMPTOMS OF WORMS.

THE countenance is pale and leaden-
L colored, with occasional fushes, or
a circumscribed spot on one or both
cheeks; the eyes become dull; the pu-
pills dilate; an azure semicircle runs
along the lower eye-lid; the nose is II
ritated, swells, and sometimes bleeds;
a swelling of the upper lip; occasional
headache, with humming or throbhing
of the ears; an unusual secretion of
saliva; Shiny or furred tongue; breath
very foul, particularly in thsmorning;
appetite variable, sometimes voraCious,
with a gnawing sensation of the stom-
ach, at others, entirely gone; fleeting
pains in the stomach; occasional
nausea and vomiting; violent pains
throughout the abdomen; bowels II,
regular, at times costive; stools Shiny;
not unfrequently tinged with blood;
belly swollen and hard urine turbid;
respiration occasionally difficult, and
accompanied by hiccough; cough
sometimes dry and convulsive; uneasy
and disturbed sleep, with grinding Of
the teeth temper variable, but gener-
ally irritable, &c.
Whenever the above symptoms
are found to exist,
DIR. C. McLANE'S VERMIFUGE
will certainly effect a cure.
IT DOES NOT CONTAIN MERCURY
in any form; it is an innocent prepara-
ton, not capable Of doing the slightest
injury to tie most tender infant
The genuine DR.. MCLANE's YER
MIFUGE bears the signatures of c. Nc
LANE and FLEMING BROS. on the
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-04-25
Wedding Stationery.

We are prepared to receive or
ders for all kinds of Engraved
Wedding Invitations, Visiting
Cards, MOnOgrams, etc. This
work will be done in the finest
style of the art, and the prices for
the same are very low.
Samples of the latest styles of
Stationery, on hand.
JAMES REED 81 SON,
Ashtabula.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-04-25

PRINCE RoDoLPHE, the heir-apparent
to the Austrian throne, has Just had an
other narrow escape. A few weeks
ago, he shot himself through the hand
while examining a gun, and the other
day, while hunting in Hungary, he was
charged by a wild boar, which only
changed its mind at the last moment,
and determined to gore a keeper in
stead of the Prince,
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-04-25
SOMETHING NEW
Startling bat True !

Nice Present for Christmas for Everybody
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-04-25
a ComFORTARLE a0ME.

TTaving a desire to try the climate
Id OF Lower California, the premises
We occupy on Prospect St., Ashtabula, are
onered for sale. Furnished OF Unfurnished,
at a Bargain. House substantial, brick; land
near seven acres OF lawn, garden and pas
ture. thoroughly tile-drained; well in the
garden, well at the barn, and well am els
tern with hot and cold water, at the n use.
Comeand see Comfortable Home, or address
I5iIff P W. STRADER,
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-07-23
Items of Interest.

The man who sets bad example
matches mischief
A fast horse-The one that is hitched
to a lamp-post.
80 Over 100 students at Harvard take les
sons in singing.
Regarded out of s'danger:'- letter
that IS not in that word
Louisiana's sugar crop last year was
the largest since the war.
ii There are forty -four American firms
doing business in Japan.
The man who was made to command
was made to order.
eff a man has no views of his own"
SAYS the New Orleans Picayune, she
should buy few Of the stereoscopic
kind
Where is the man with soul so dead,
Who has not beastly cold in his head,
In this, his own-kertschtchow-o er er
ah-umnl-er-k KISS shoraucehh!!!
The latest style Of marking sheep is to
attach numbered tag to the animals
ear. If Mary had a little lamb now it
would wear earrings.
Wars come so thick in Europe that the
soldiers don't have chance to sit down
for few moments rest, and hence the
necessity for keeping standing armies.
Thirteen handkerchiefs, four wallets
and two watches were found on pick
pocket who had been at work only an
hour in st. Lous funeral assembly.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-07-23
A Canine Mind-Reader.

A very pretty illustration of that I'M
conscious suggestion upon which success
in "mind-reading,;' SO called, has been
based, is furnished by the performances
of clever dog belonging to the we'll
known spectroscopist and astronomer,
DR.. Higgins. This dog, a mastiff of no
bic proportions, to whom has been given
the name Of Cepler, possessed many rare
gifts, which had secured for him the adj
miration and regard Of a large number
Of scientific acquaintances; and among
these was one which he was always ready
to exercise for the entertainment of Wis
ito1s. At the close of luncheon or din
ner, says writer in the Edinburgh Re-
view. Kepler used to march gravely and
sedately into the room, and set himself
down at his masters feet. DR.. Higgins
then propounded to him series of arlth-
metical questions which the dog inva-
riably solved without a mistake. Square
roots were extracted off-hand with the ut
most readiness and promptness. If asked
what was the square root of 8, Kepler re.
piled with three barks; or, if the ques-
ton were the square root of 16, by 4.
Then various Questions followed, in
which more complicated processes were
involved-such, for instance, as ''add Z to
8, divide the sum by 8, and multiply by
O." To such a question as that Kepler CAV
more consideration, and sometimes hest
tated in making up his mind as to where
his barks ought finally to stop. Still in
the end, his decision was always right.
The reward for each correct answer was
piece of cake, which was held before
him during the exercise; but until the
solution was arrived at Kepler never
moved his eye from his masters face. r.,
The instant the last bark is given he
transferred his attention to the cake. DR..
Higgins was perfectly unconscious of
suggesting the proper answer to the dog
but it is beyond all question that he did
| SO. The wonderful fact is that Kepler
had acquired the habit threading in his
masters eye or countcnance some indica.
! ton that was not known to DR.. Higgins
himself. The case was one of the class
which is distinguished by psychologists
as that of cXpectant attention.
DR. Higgins was himself engaged in
wording out mentally the various stages
of his arithmetical processes as be
propounded the numbers Kepler, and
being, therefore, aware of what the answ.
er should be, expected the dog to cease
barking when the number was reached
and that expectation suggested to his
own brain the unconscious signal which
was caught by the quick eye of the dog
The instance is strictly analogous to
the we'll known case in which a button
suspended from thread and held by q
finger near the rim Of glass, strikes the
hour Of the day as it swings, and then
stops that is, provided the person who
holds the button himself knows the hour
The explanation Of this is, the hand that
holds the button trembles in consequence
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-07-23
Statistics for Girls.

A young English statistician who Was
paying court to young lady thought to
surprise her with his immense erudition
Producing his notebook, she Thought he
was about to indite love sonnet. but
was slightly taken aback by the follow
ing question: rag
"HoW many meals do you eat?''
,",Why, three, Of course, but of all the
oldest quesfonsp'
-. Never mind, dear, I'll tell you all
about it in moment.''
his pencil was rapidly at work. At
last 1ondly clasping her slender waist:
~. Now, my darling, I've got it, and if
you wish to know how much has passed
through that adorable little mouth in the
exact figures" Wv
~. "Go &c, G1acious What can you
mean?" @a--
I "Now, just listen,' says he, "and YOU
Will u. hear exactly what you have been
Obliged to absorb to maintain those
charms which are to make the happiness
Of my life.'' .1 f11O
"But | don't want to hear.''
AN, you are surprised no doubt, but
statistics are wonderful things. Just lis
ten: You are seventeen years old, SO
that in fifteen years you have absorbed
oxen or calves, 5; sheep and lambs, IA;
chickens, 1927; ducks, 2O4; geese 10: tur-
Keys, 100; game of various kinds, 1924;
fishes, 1850; eggs, 1874 vegetables bunch-
esq, 700; fruit Qaskets), sos; cheese, iO2;
bread, cake, &c. lin sacks of four), 40:
W1 nn, . (barrels), II; water (gallons),
At this the maiden revolted, and Jump
ing up exclaimed:
Il think you are very impairment. and
disgusting besides, and I will not stay
to listen to youp' upon which she flew
into the house.
He gazed after her with an distracted
air, and left, saying to himself.
1T she kept talking at that rate
twelve hours out of twenty-four, her jaws
would in twenty years travel a distance
OF 1885,, 124 miles,
The maiden, within two months. mar
RED wcll.to-do lgrocer who was no sta
tistician.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-07-23
Josh Billings Advice to the :'Quire
Singer.

The list thing to do to make a good
quire singer is to CYCLE a little. Put up
your hair in curl papers every Friday
mite, so as to have it in good shape Sun
day morning. If your daddy is rich you
buy some more and build it high upon
your head; then git a high priced bonnet
that runs up very high, at the high part
Of it, and git the milliner to plant some
high artafshels into the highest part Of
it. This will help you sing high, as So
prano is the highest part.
When the tune is give out, don't paw
attention to it, and then CYCLE. Gigle a
good deel.
Whisper to the girl next you that EN-
Jones, which sets on the second sect from,
the front on the left-hand side, has her
bunnit trimmed with the same color ex-
act she had last year: and then put your
book to your face and CYCLE.
Object to every tune unless there is a
solow. into it for the sophrano. Golf and
ham a good dee1 before you begin to sing.
When you sing shake the artafshels off
your bunnit, and when you come to a
high tone brace yourself back little
twist your head to one side and open
your mouth the widest on that side, shet
the eye on the same side Jest a triple,
and then put in for dear life.
,a When the preacher gifts under hed-way
with his preachin', write note onto the
blank leaf into the fourth part Of your
note book. That's what the blank was
made for. Git sumbody to pass the
note to sumbody else, and you watch
them while they read it and then CYCLE.
If anybody talks or latfs in the con-
gregashun, and the preacher takes motifs
Of It, that's good chance for you to gig
gle, and you ought to CYCLE great deal.
The preacher darsent say anything to
you bekaus you are in the quire. If you
had bow before you went into the quire,
give him the mitten-you ought to have
somebody better now.
Don't forget to CYCLE.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-07-23

OF it's constrained position, and in that vaz56,
sets the button swinging, and as the at,
tentlon of the experimental is fixed unon
me oscillation, in the expectation that a
dehnlte number of strokes upon the GLASS
Will occur, his own brain-conyolnf;ons
1ake care that the finger shall be in &C.
cordance with the expectation. II
= Inc mathematical training of door
kepler has, unfortunately, come to an
untamely end. The interesting aritbma-
t1clan died of an attack of typhus fever
70 the great sorrow of his large circle Of
friends, at the beginning Of last wear. and
ne now sleeps under the shadow Of the
telescope at Tulse Hail. The memory of
his high attainments and of the d;st;n-
gulshed success with which he upheld
the reputation of his name, however. re-
malns.-8cscntifc American.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-07-23

by the culinary art, was said to be an
acquired taste" No one, at first, eat
them raw. Now they are large and com
pact, the seeds have diminished in size
and quantity, while in color and sub
stance they are like red roses consolidat-
ed, and no longer require cooking to be
made palitable. In fact, cooking spoils
them, as it spoils a peach, a cucumber or
an orange; and it is even proclamation
to ''dress'' them as q salad. TO add any
sort Of garniture or condiment to per
fectly ripe tomato is like 'sadding per-
fume to the violet" @... 4.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-07-23
~ LINES TO "A CAT.

love thee, cat; / love thy pleasant ways:
love to see thee doing round the house;
Hove, through all these dreamy summer days
Towatch thee circumvent the bashtul mouse
love to hear thy calm, contented purr,
And stroke thy coat-so near, and yet so 1ur'
But love not, when starry night is come,
To hear thee, cat, with velyet-padded hoo1,
Rapid as taps on the startled drum,
Orsummer in-drops, patterlng on me TOOL
For when thy claws slip from their VelVet
Thou art wild Niagara cat-a cat racket.
Sweet fs,; v"'''s'' when the radiant moonlight
In mellow splendor on the haunted shed,
Oft have listened to thy plaintive wauls
And cursed thee, from my sleep. deserted bed.
How have wept to hear thy longdrawn shout,
Oh, cat ambitious Thou vert born to lead:
Thou are the first in peace, in war the furs;*
And nd to provide for each and every need,
F1Thou never goest out without my purss.s
And like most hnman vocalists who sing,
You get back up, cat, at every thing.
Why dost thou rage, vain cat, when sable night
With "dewy freshness fills the silent air."
Why dost thou climb the roof to yell and fight,
And rip and spit and snort and crawl and
swear? .,.,.......,>
Dost thounot blush, sweet cat, when rosy dawn
Sees half thy fur clawed out, and one eye gone ?
Oh, cat, thou would'st not thus disturb the
moon,
If to the temperance pledge thou would'st
but stick; p.
Thou would'st not fight, unless at some saloon,
Thou did'st get tighter, cat, than any brick.
know you cat; I see 1t in your eye;
Full oft you take your catnips on the sly.
Go, gentle cat, go from my lap and prowl
Upon the dizzy wood, sheds beetling height,
On lofty dormer window sit and howl,
And every thing that weareth cat-hair iii ght.
And will love thee still, for all Of that, -
Because would not have thee less cat.
Yet hear! When midnight pauses in the sky,
will arise from sleepless couch Of mine,
And guided by thy animated cry,
And by thine eyes SO brilliantly that shine,
will take down nay trusty culverin,
And with six pounds OF buckshot fill thy skin.
ut is also first on the wood-shed.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-07-23

Clelk WHERE He cOulu ma some ShOOtlng.
A country-man stood near by said he
sought to 60 out on the Scarborough road
about six miles over the bridge, and he'd
find pair Of bars on the left-hand side.
Put the bars up again, because the
critters might get out, then
go up the hill, and that will
bring you out right by the old Squire
Risley's barn, and like enough hell be
around there himself; he's most ALWAYS
around" II dou't know Squire Risley,''
said the stranger, land don't know his
barn from any other barn." ."Oh," re-
piled the countryman, "you'll know him
the minute you set eyes on him, Every
body knows him. He'll have on nankeen
trousers at this time of the season of the
year. His wife makes them for him, out
of piece he took for bad debt. And
when you see him once you know him
for he's pleats all over-that's the way
his wife makes them. He's like the
morning sun-all rays" ..... ...
In a Vermont village tall and awk.
ward beau called to see his young lady
and found her engaged with other com:
pany. To set matters right he gave them
a riddle: "There was two sboys playin
on the sidewalk, and man asked them
whether they were any relation. The boy
replied: "Sir, that boys mother and mine
was twin sisters, and yet we amt cous
ms The girls guessed at it for half ar
hour and gave it up. "Is there any solu
ton to it, Mr.. Browne" one of the girls
asked "Oh, yes" he replied, ,''it's easy
explained - that boy lied.''- ARrHuff
J GILMAN in Commonwealth. " tE 07
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-07-23

a.=ss, y i
The Arizona sentinel. [volume] (Arizona City [Yuma], Yuma County, A.T. [Ariz.]) 1872-1911, 1879-08-16

We learn that a young man, named
Wells T. Cole, committed suicide in the
Patagonia District lately. He was con-
nected with San Francisco parties
in business transactions, and on his
person was found money, checks and or
ders to the amount of several hundred
dollars. He had laid himself on the
ground, placed the muzzle of gun to his
head and discharged it with stick The
top of his head was missing.
The Arizona sentinel. [volume] (Arizona City [Yuma], Yuma County, A.T. [Ariz.]) 1872-1911, 1879-08-16
Board Of Equalization.
Monday, August IL, 1879.

Monday, August IL, 1879.
Board met at 20, A. N. The following
rates of taxation for the Fiscal year, A. D.
1879, per 500 were fixed: For County
purposes-Euilding Fund, thirty cents
School Fund, fifty cents; General Fund,
one dollar and twenty cents. For Terri
torial urposes-General Fund. twenty
five cents; School Fund, fifteen cents;
Sinking Fund, Prison Bonds, 1877, ten
cents; Sinking Fund, Prison Bonds, 1879,
ten cents. Total, two dollars and sixty
cents $500 per 800.
The Clerk was directed to deliyer a GER
tilted copy of assessment and levy of
taxes to the County Treasurer and to the
County Tax Collector.
Leave of absence for thirty days was
granted to H. N. Alexander, District At
torney.
The Sheriff was directed to present a
BOND as Tax Collector, in the sum of
$4,000, on the 18th of August.
The Board then adjourned until August
Is, 1879, at 10 A. NJ.
The Arizona sentinel. [volume] (Arizona City [Yuma], Yuma County, A.T. [Ariz.]) 1872-1911, 1879-08-16

By our exchanges we notice that the
accident near Adonde to the railroad
train on the Sth., was incorrectly reported.
The engineer Mr.. Bruce was not badly
injured merely spraining his wrist; Julian
the fireman was thrown from the engine
landing on his back, and raised some
blood but has since entirely recovered.
A Cocopah Indian was killed and crema-
ted within an hour; another had both
arms broken, one being laid open to the
bone; a squaw had one arm broken ana
nearly cut off close to the shoulder with
deep gashes to the bone, thigh bone bad
ly broken and hip injured.