The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1879-10-02
UartetY.
PEoPLE AND THINGS.


.H.
The fishery question, How much gin have you
in your flask.
Thelawyer may be man, but he is fee male
all the same.
Let there be an end to the palpable falsehood
that figures won't -om~,
Jerome Napoleon, like the vertebra Of a whale,
is chief of the Bonapartes
Wild Hog the Indian chief, Is getting to be
quite bore
Does the maternal Goldfish call its. young with a
Goldfish bawl.
Itwouldn't be safe to call man parallelogram
in San Francisco,
The jeanette may perhaps discover the North
pole, but who will discover the JeanetteY
A countryman seeing the sign, Hands off," in
nocently asked II they had gone on picnic,
Captain Paul BOynton iS to be married. Here
after he proposes to aOat with the tied.
The young man who loved above his station
was always getting out at the wrong depot.
Railway companies should employ flies to watch
conductors They are good spoilers"
The ladies will come In flocks to see pedestrians
but the ladies' bless them, always did take an In.
terest in matches.
Now man doth say with feelings blue,
Zen he be plumber, clerk or printer
"Will that there overcoat put me through
Next winter"
1.-TWO souls with but q single thought" she said
as she turned her hopeful across her knee and
reached for 1t.
Americans pay more for teeth than any other
nation on the earth, and yet they do nine'tenths
Of their chewing with their stomachs.
"Thou wilt be miner" II cannot George; I
lowest another" Enough :. l start for Yszoo
City, tonight FAREWELL" .H#
These are the evenings for counting strolls -
YonkerS Statesman. We know nothing about strolls
nice girl is good enough for us.
The editor OF a Chicago newspaper wanting the
details Of an inundatlon In Connecticut tele
graphed to correspondent at Hartford Send
full particulars of the food" The reply came
quickly, You will flnd them in the Genesis"
An eccentric gentleman, candidate for Parlis.
u
asked by man In the crowd: What about the
Liquor Bill" well" said the candidate, mine
was uncommonly high last year, How was
yours2'
Now will Mr.. Huxley explain the phenomenon
Of negro woman with twins, one white and the
other black. What sort Of evolution ia that? asks
the Elmira Advertiser Kind of Mosaic dispensa'
ton, we presume.--N Y. Com. ADJ.
A certain young lady who was little behind.
hand in her summer outfit surprised her parents
the other day by asking why she was unlike
George Washington. When they gave 1t up she
told them because she had no little hatyet
"Can you see the whole OF me2' asked fellow
who wanted an entire view, Of the photographer
'oh, yes, sir" was the reply, ~ can see scarcely
anything else except the hole You had better
close it." The fellow instantly shut his mouth
Mr.. Charles g. Ropes of this city, was married
on Wednesday, to Miss Jennie Hale Of Mnwau.
kee, Wis.
When Cupid did Miss Jennie Hale,
She soon gave up the mopes,
And ever after blessed the day
When first she learned the Ropes.
N. Y, People,
The best material for church is canvas. We
saw number of men at the circus, last Wednes
day. keep wide awake during the two hours per
formanee, who cant possibly keep their eye
open in church five minutes after the sermon be
gins.
| France has 100000 manageable girls. Nov
just think of that, and Massachusetts, with seyera
hundreds of thousands more; and yet fellow will
go and make an ass Of himself about pretty fac
without five grains of sense behind 1t, and thinl
there is not another woman in creation,
Mclean gettee
Muchee dirtee;
John he smellee
| Gross the sea.
Come to washee,
Make him cleanee;
He say, "Gettee,
Dam Chinee
No more likee
No more habee
Too much gottee
Alreadee."
He go dirtee,
Me no Caree,
Get me back
Across the sea;
Home In China
Muchee soupee;
Better ricee, ..
Better tea.
-Chicdgo Tines.
.u--.sa@nra.an.nuuI.ulIuu lIuu.uuan.u1ug
A merchant sitting In his office In New Yorl
City recently received an answer to q dispatch
sent 10 Shanghai, China, six hours previously
Shanghai is S6O 900 miles distant from New Yorl
by telegraph, and the message not making allow
.nno hnr the deliVArH At the two nItiaa trAYalad