New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1879-09-03
WHOLE NUMBER So
SENSE AND NONSENSE.


sion strong in life.
4 A DARK-LAHTERN throws some light
on bank robbery.
AMERICANS eat moro potatoes than
any other Nation on earth.
GREcIAN ladies count their age from
their marriage, not from their birth.
IT is better to improve by other peo-
pies errors than to find fault with
them. y ~
The person who chiefly desires Il. q.
the ruler be done away with is the
schoolboy.
In the vegetable race who ever saw
the tomato ketchup.-B0stOn JOA, nal
Of Commerce.
g He swallowed his anger" is some
times truly observed Of an ire-ate per-
son. Toledo Commercial.
IF you are hungry, plant Boston
baked beans where they win do the
most good. Detroit Free Press.
A THOUGHTFUL invalid took . coffin
along when he went from Boston to
Florida. and his body was returned in
it.
A DREssMAKER who was at the point
of death recovered, and the local pa
per headed the item 'Survival of the
Fittest.'
THE man who habitually and regu.
larly left the door wide open all winter
is just learning to shut it tight every
time.-Ha,ck-Eye. IS =
THE best-natured man will get q tribe
Il phovn HE ko11 81
made ulsters for the boys out of his last
winters ear-muffs. , ,..s
A LADY writes to an exchange that
the girl who keeps her sweet temper
and good looks up to twenty-five Is apt
to retain them to old age"
VERY kind gentleman: do you
know, my dear, that we have to-day tho
shortest day in the yearP'' Very
true; but your presence makes me for
get it,
AN epitaph in Maine cemetery as
serts: - asg ea.s
The wedding day appointed was.
T. RI Inc sr Wedding eddt cl 9Th provided,
He sickened and he dieded."
PROFESSOR in law recitation: Mr.,
what is excusable hOmicidep" Sc
nior, promptly: - Excusable homicide
is when man kills himself in self
Defense .....t...s
IT is said that rattlesnake oil is .
cure for rheumatism. It is known that
live rattlesnake willcausea rheumat-
ic man to move about with fresh and
vigorous step. 55
Q WHAT is the use of fighting the En-
glisb," said q Zulu, .'when they can
kill man and bring him to life
again?' abiding to the effect Of chic
reform upon a prisoner whose leg had
been amputatcd. Il. ~
"THE Indian indigo crop will be .
short one," murmurs the Boston 7tan-
script, I" but, j" it adds philosophically,
after recounting the news OF plumber
and Instruction, ''things look blue
enough in India without indigo. 1t can
be spared" ...s a.
THE Jersey City Journal believes
that there arc probably not over . doz-
en- or SO of perfectly able-mined adults
in the world who have mover told
lie, and most of them have told q good
many. 1t, therefore, wonders that the
average man hates so to be called .
liar. ~ Ia sa S
A SAN FRANCISCO clothing dealer is
said to have, in good faith, offered Law
renee Barrett $lOO night when play
ing "Hamlet" in that city, If he would,
after uttering the words customary
suits of solemn black" add s'the kind
they sell at - for interchangeable
NeWs. ~
THERE is one thing which seems I'M
accountable to the average city fisher
man and that is, that an overgrown,
awkward, saucy boy with . bean pole
for q fishing-rod and cotton twine for .
line, will catch more fish than he with
his fancy jointed rod and fine silken
line.-Ronae IN. ~ Sentinel.
A MAN and his wife can never agree
upon what constitutes q tidy-looEing
room. A woman will grow irrit; lie
when she find half dozen cigar stumps
sticking to the scorched mantel-piece,
and he can't be expected to keep calm
when he finds q bunch OF long "comb-
ings" in his shaving-mug.-hck. -
A NEW and fatal distemper has It
tackled the horses in Newark, N. j.
The first symptom is swelling of tho
glands, which grow eventually to such
size as to choke the animal to death.
A green froth emitted from the nose
and mouth marks the development of
the disease. For want of . better name
the farmers call it /" green mouth
The history of q great many court
ing scenes which begin with poetry and
romance and end in stern, hard fact is
aptly described in these verses:
He took her fancy when he came;
He took her hand, he took Q kiAS;
He took NO notice of the shame
Het took 70 coming siiernoon.:
He took an oath he'd ne'er deceive:
He took her fathers silver Spoons.
And after that he took his leave.
The smugglers who take lace across
the Franco Belgian frontier employ the
services of trained dogs. A recent au-
thor says that when once laden with tho
forbidden goods the dog assumes spon-
taneously bis part of the responsibility.
He starts when it is dark; finds out
where the customs officers are. II he
meets only one on his road he will fight
him, if he cannot otherwise force his
way through; but if he is not strong
enough for q battle-royal, he hides him
self behind tree, or q hedge, or q
bush, and waits patiently for favor
able opportunity. Arrived ut his des-
tination, he takes care to ascertain that
no one is about whom he does not
know and mistrusts before showing
himself.-M r. Post.
"A writer in Dirt Industry states
that II the rims of watches having
hunting-cases become 80 worn by the
friction Of the springs that they will
not close tightly, or not stay closed at
all, the trouble can often be remedied
by underwriting the rim ct such an
angle that the spring viii draw the
case tight, and for this purpose the or
binary steel ratchet-wheel mounted on
the lathe as . cutting burr. In thu most
suitable. A wheel should be selected
with very fine teeth. and, Il not hard.
should be hardened the same - any
other cutting tool, aud mounted on the