The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1879-05-15
Grandpa Browns Brown Cow.

with, she hadashort, stumpy tail, with which
she had habit Of making herself very dis
agreeable in fly time. Her age was con-
siderably past that which is allotted to ami
mails of her kind, one of her horns was
straight, and the other crumpled, like
that of the animal described in ''The house
that Jack built. "
She was an exceedingly nervous creature.
She would not submit to provocatiou with
out proper resentment. In other words,
whoever attempted to milk her had to be
very gentle about it or he would find her
heels flying in very uncomfortable man
ner about his head.
She gave an abundance of very rich milk,
for which reason Grandpa Brown did not
see fit to dispose of her, and so she remain
ed in his possession for many years.
One Sabbath afternoon Uncle James went
out to do the milking. The flies were very
thick in the barnyard, and, upon attempt
ing to milk the brown COW, he found her
very nervous and uneasy. He had just
succeeded in getting comfortably seatedupon
the milking stool, when cold Brownie, :"
as we were accustomed TO call her, struck
him sharp blow in the eye with her
stumpy tail,
After rubbing his eyes moment, Uncle
James commenced milking, but soon re-
ceived another rap that fairly made his
head ring.
''Sol" he yelled impatiently The old
COW bounded away to the other side Of the
yard.
Uncle John stood by, an interested spec
tator of the scene.
'Don't be rough with her, Jim, " he said.
'Rough |" exclaimed Uncle James, with
an exhibition of much feeling, '1et her hit
you in the head with that old tail of hers
and see how you'd feel"
"Give me the pail" said Uncle John,
with an air of one who knows what he is
about 'Tll milk her. never have any
trouble
He took the pail from Uncle James hand
and approached "Old Brownie" who
pricked up her ears and regarded him ap-
provingly.
Uncle John seated himself upon the stool,
pushed up his coat sleeves, and commenced
milking,
'There, he said, 81 have no trouble.
It's the easiest thing in the wor-Confound
your old brown hide i"
The latter portion Of his speech was di-
rected to the old COW, who struck him saw
agely in the mouth with her restless, stumpy
tail.
Uncle James laughed.
Uncle John proceeded with the milking
Another whack from the stumpy tail Of
cold Brownie"
''Hold on there, yelled Uncle John.
The next moment the milkpail was over
turned, and Uncle John found himself
sprawling upon the ground, while "Old
Browne" stood regarding him from an op-
posite corner of the yard with an expression
of pleased wonder
"Boys," shouted Grandpa Brown, who
had been looking from the other side of the
barnyard gate, "why can't you never larn
to be gentle.
He opened the gate and came into the
yard.
'Fetch the stool and pail here" he said
patiently; 81 never have any trouble with
her. So boss-so--so--so."
Grandpa Brown put himself resolutely to
work ''the milk began to flow and stream
into the huge tin pail. 1
"Whisk," went the stumpy tail, and
Grandpa Browns Sunday hat went dancing
across the yard.
$50 boss-so-so-so," he said, patiently.
He received another severe blow upon
the nose
$50, so, so, he said, soothingly 'Boys,
you see it's just as j told you. There's no
trouble at all about milking this cow, If
you only-So, SO, so, " he received another
whack, on the top of his bald head, from
her remarkable tail.
eyes" continued he, "after this, do just
as do--so ~ he suddenly shouted as that
abbreviated tail knocked his false teeth half
way across the barnyard.
A pair of heels were Unexpectedly pre-
sented against him; and he found himself
sprawling upon the ground with the milk
from the pail streaming over his person
When he arose he was pitiful object to be-
hold, his Sunday clothes were ruined, his
face was purple with passion. Seizing the
three-legged stool, he hurled 1t at "0ld
Brownie" with all his strength. 1t struck
her squarely upon the shoulder and she
was soon skipping about the yard upon
three legs.
"You old rip" said Grandpa Brown,
''you shall be sold tomorrow"
And she was.
AN old married couple live at Wes-
ton, Conn. They are Mr.. Zalmon
Sturges, who is 0S years Of age, and
Ann hia wifp who ia now In her 0lth