The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-08-20
A MODEL HOTEL.
The Remarkable Regulations ola Mic1.iyan
-, ..Ht landlord.

me Remarkable Regulations ofn MicI.s0u,,
~ Landlord.
The proprietor of summer resort hotel
n the interior of Michigan publishes in the
Ctsppe1' an advertisement which enumerates
the following advantages of his place:
This hotel was built and arranged for the
special comfort and convenience of the tray-
cling public.
On arrival, each guest will be asked how
ne likes the situation, and if he says the hotel
ought to have been placed further from the
depot and nearer the business part of the
town, the location will be immediately
changed.
Corner front rooms, up only one flight,
for each guest.
Bath, gas, water-closet, hot and cold wa
ter laundry, telegraph, fire alarm, restau
rant, bar room, billiard tables, daily papers,
coupe, sewing machine, grand piano, cler-
gyman, and ali other modern conyeniencas
in every room.
Meals every minute if desired, and conse-
quently no second table.
English, French and German dictionaries
| furnished every guest, to make up such a
Dill or fare as he may desire, without regard
TO Dill OF fare afterwards at the office.
waters of any nationality and color. Ev-
cry waiter furnished with ibretto, button
hole bouquets, full dress suits, ball tablets
and the hair parted in the middle.
Every guest will have the best seat in the
d'n1ng- hall and the very best waiter in the
house. ...
Any guest not getting his breakfast red
not, or experiencing delay of sixteen Sec
onos a1ter giving his order for dinner. will
please mention the fact at the managers
Office, and cooks and walters will be flown
from the mouth of the cannon in front of
the door at once.
Children will be welcomed with delioht
and are requested to bring hoop-sticks and
hawkeyes to bang the carved rosewood turni
ture especially provided for that purpose.
and peg tops to spin on the velvet carpets.
Ihey will be allowed to bang on the piano at
all hours, fall down stairs, carry away dessert
enough for small family in their pockets
at dinner, and make themselves as disagree
able as the fondest mother can desire.
Washing allowed in rooms. Ladies giving
an order to "put me On fat-iron'' will be
put on at any hour of the day or night.
discreet water, who belo gs to the Ma
sons. Odd Fellows. Sons of Malta, knights
OF Pythias, K. O. Ms and M. D. s, and
VINO was never known to tell the truth or the
time of day, has been employed to carry
milk punches and hot toddies to the ladies'
rooms in the evening.
The Office clerk has been selected to please
everybody, and can lead in prayer, play draw
poker, match W. rsteds at the Village store.
shake for the drinks at any hour OF the day or
nlght' play billiards, good waltzer, Can
dance the German, make fourth at eucher,
amuse the children, repeat the B-echer trial
from memory, is good judge of horses, as
a railroad or steamboat reference is far su-
oerior to App!eton's Or anybody else's guide,
Will H'rt with any young lady and not mind
being cut to death when ''pa comes down.
don't mind being damned any more than
Connecticut river; Can room forty people in
the best room in the house when the house
is full, attend the annunciator, and answer
questions in Greek, Hebrew, Irish, Choctaw,
or any other polite language, at the same
moment, without turning hair.
Dogs allowed in any room in the house,
including the whine room. Gentlemen
can drink, smoke, swear, chew, gamble. tell
shady stories, stare at the new arrivals, or
indulge in any other innocent amusement
common to watering places, in any part of
the hotel.
The landlord will always be happy to hear
that some other hotel is the best house in
the country.
Special attention given to parties who can
give inflammation as to show these things are
done in Yewrup."