The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1879-01-09
BARBER-SHOP ETIQUETTE.
Why Ven Must BE TaIks d 10 Death by
BARRIERS
OH City Derrick


"Ah!P I'm in luck" said Jones, as be
entered the barber>shop reading paper
"wOn't have to wait for hext," and he
tossed bis hat into a corner and seated
himself for 3 shave.
How is this? ?" said the barber, read
ing from a paper that marks its witty
column with blue pencil "by George,
how's this 2 Pretty good, l take it, and
he read:
Sc Did you ever see pump handle any
thingY Did you ever see a witty cism !
Who ever saw dog call herr" and the
good barber laughed heartily at these
scintillations OF wit, and said some OF
them tellers are most blamed clever.
Then he turned to the yellow fever
department, and, sitter reading three or
four dispatches, asked Jones il he thought
the scouTge would reach Oil City.
Jones said there was q possibility that
it would get here by the middle of
winter, and be would like to be shaved
and fixed up before it arrived.
The barber said it was terrible thing,
yawned, laid down the paper and shuf1sd
up to the chair. He arranged the towels
about Jones' neck, felt his beard, run his
fingers through his hair, scrutiniZed a
wart on the side of his nose, turned his
chin and asked him il he had his tooth
fixed in the oil regions OF New York.
Jones answered a. best he could, con-
sidering the barber still kept his lips
hauled down taut.
After examining the dental work on the
tooth, which he unhesitstingly pro-
nounced good job" the barber let go
of Jones' lip, and went out to throw a
stone at dog that was barking at Cat
in the back yard.
When he came back Jones said he
wsuld like to BE- shaved as quickly as
possible, as he was in somewhat of a
hurry.
Certainly, certainly" said the bar
Der, and he spread lstner over Jones
face and begsn to hunt for q razor. At
ter examining several he began to slap
the strap with one, while he remarked
that fall had probably set in in earnest,
and that the baseball fever was as bad
as ever, etc. Giving the razor one pull
down over the >ide of Jones' face he
wiped of the blade, laid it down, took
up smother, exsmineu its edge and whip
ped the strap with it as before, asking
Jones if he thought business was really
picking up any, and if he thought 1t
would rain.
Jones moved une asily on the stocks,
and said he was sure there would be a
storm, and he wanted to get shaved and
have his moustache waxed before the
flood came.
The barber grew pale around the
mouth, and his lips quivered. You
said that once beiOre," he remarked
CURLY. Don't say it again, please, or
ther'll be trouble. Pm a gentleman
when Pm dealing with gentleman, but
/ know when I'm insulted, sir.
Well, confounded it all" exclaimed
Jones, very much cut of patience, " /
came here to be shaved, and not to be
talked to death "
Oh, yOn want to be shaved, do You"
exclaimed the barber in rage. you
don't want to be talked to death, don't
you? A barber can't open his mouth,
can't he7 Oh, no, barber is dOggOned
machine suppose, and must move about
his work like a woman Indian in front of
a cigar store? All right, all right! You
shalllDe shaved and have your mOustache
waxed so blamed quick that it will make
your head swim"
And buckling down to his work he
shaved Jones in two minutes and halt
by the watch, and cut him seventeen
times by actual count.
Moral.-Leta barber talk 1t is cheaper
than to be Kept away from business for
two or three days while you stop bleed
ing.