The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-10-23
BRIC-I-BIt<fC.

BRIC-A-BRAC.
The only safe way to go up in a
balloon is to send q substitute.
cpl join you presently" said the
minister to the young couple, as hc
went for the church key.
-"It is easier to raise u beard than
raise a dimc," said a young Oil citizen,
who has stopped shaving.
We have invented q new gun for
the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. people.
1t lets the charge out ut the brcccli. -
Boston Post.
-"1s the air full Of balloons, or the
country full Of liars2" asks the Chicago
Jouf9.0i. Both, sir--both. Business
Is rcviving.-BuBolo Enpress.
The ordinary life of locomotive
is thirty years. No doubt il would
live longer if it didn't smoke so much.
lie said he wanted her to be his
hclpmcct, and she replied that she
could never be more than assistcr to
him. "
No American is ever guilty of
meeting another without asking
"'Wcll, how is your trade? And it
doesn't matter if one ofthcm is q hang
man.
DR.. Holland saye q mans charac-
ter may be judged by his cravut. II
nc wares no cravat, we suppose he
hasn't any.
"A hotel keeper may entertain an
gels unawarcs, but they must have
baggage orpay in advance to meet the
rules OF the house.
The Portland Argus saws there are
slXty-two "cradlcs" Oh one Street in
Biddctord. Probably very rocky
soil.-EI.
-"Sec how ride o'cr tho raging
mancl" cXclaimad man who was
thrown over his h0rse's head into q
ditch on tho other side of the fence.
,-Philadclphia possesses young
lady so exceedingly modest that she
places veil over her stockings when
she hangs them on the clothes line.
.-fA.jaN had only booted q light
nlnS-rod agent at the time that he de-
lied the thunder bolt, hisrcnoun would
rest on more solid busis than it does
now.
we saw young man with two
heads on his shoulders the other dav.
but didn't consider it much ola curl
osity-onc belonged to his girl.-Col-
tege -1rgus.
Tho Whitehall Times asserts that
tho man who wrote "nothing was im-
possible" never tried to find the pocll-
ct III his witc's dress when it was
hanging up i'll the clothcs-prcss.
Some "horrid brute" has discover
cd that the difference between IL wo-
man and III umbrella is that there arc
,lmcs when you can shut up an UNI
We don't see why man should
pay $4,000 for a telescope to look at
the stars when he can get a much finer
display by simply yanking the tail of
any mule.
Last year every female was crazy
Tor Il pair ofsiXtcen-bntton kid gloves.
This year all are satisfied with two
buttoned kids, fthcy can only have the
Widest surcinglc ever worn by horse or
woman.
An election is soon to occurr in
Mexico for President, and passengers
in stage coaches arc being appealed TO
Tor campaign funds. There is not
'>Nt ~ '"tSh liN tjOCIlSf III MCNlCull
politics as in ours.-Pech's Sun.
What is the difference fbctwccn q
dairy maid and a stormy pctrcl? One
skins tho milk and the other skins the
wator.- NcO Hacen Register. We
don't, even now, quite sec the differ
cicc.-BoStcn Post.
In struggling to make a dull-brain-
cd boy understand what conscienc is Il
teacher asked, "What makes YOU feel
uncomfortable after you have done
wrong? "Fathcr's leather slrap. /"
fcclingly replied the boy.
Tho mad runor that the London
I"nch has been in negotiation for a
genuine joke arose simply from the
fact that one of the editors was seen
talking to an American. The con-
serv9tivc policy Of the paper will still
be adhered to.
"A correspondent asks: "IIow long
can bottled cider be kcpt?" That de-
pcnds upon circumstances. Ifyou put
it in a safe, lock it up, and sling the
key into the river you can keep it for
some time, but you wont have much
fun out Of it.
-"There Is nothing like settling.
down." said retired merchant conf,
dcntially to his ncighbor. "Whcn
gave up business settled down and
found had quite q comfortable for
tune. i'll had settled up shouldn't
have had cent.
In about two weeks more General
Grant will have to begin to keep house.
and as he goes down the back street al
Galcna with q market basket under
his arm, lie will find it far different
from travelling as distinguished guest.
lic will feel good deal like a country
editor when he gets homo from ali
editorial convention. The contrast is
what's the matter.-I'cck's SIN.
-"Why do we say in the Lords
Prayer, 'who art in heaven since God
is cvcrywhere?" asked q clergyman of
some children. For while no one
answered at last, seeing a little drum
mcr boy who looked as ifhc could give
an ancwcr, the clergyman said "Well,
little soldier, what say you?, "Dc-