Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-06-20
MULTUM IN PARYO.
aE early apple catches the worm.

TIE early apple catches the worm.
THE feathered tribes-the Indians.
A COOL thousand-half ton Of ice.
RUSSIA ehoice-Aut Cesar ant Mill.
Punch.
PER-HENNIAL comes the egg.-BostOB
Transcript.
WHEN too well done. bread turns to
a dun color.
THE bottom of the strawberry box
continues to be too near the top.-M o.
Heayulse.
"OH CONE, come hay weighF' as the
impatient farmer said to the man at the
hay-scales.
A KENTUCKY newspaper boasts Of q
society editor who ''has no peer outside
the Lunatic Asylum"
No, OSCAR; the person who does the
crowning at a coronation is not called
q coroner.-BoStO1s Post.
The college boat-races have begun,
and we shall now see the result of the
winters hard study.-BOstOD Tran
script.
TIE Cincinnati Board of Health has
passed an order prohibiting the land
ing Of rags at that city from Southern
points.
STRIKING 8 woman, says a British
Journal, has never, even in EXTREMIST
cases, been regarded with great favor
by the average Englishman.
A BOOK Just published is entitled,
Sayings and Doings Of Great Men,"
We notice that the "Sayings" have q
large maiority.-UticG Observer.
SHE was q stubborn woman, and
when she died her husband planted q
willow over her grave, so that even in
death she mighs have q viii O. her
own.
TIE blue goods used in the msnufsO-
ture of American flags makes hand
some seaside dresses for children. It
is sort of bilow baby bunting.-N o.
PjcdyELHs.
TIE number of flies that are eheWed
up annually by careless tea-drinkers,
who mistake them for tea-lesYes, is be-
yond all earthly computation CSalci's-
natl Enquirer.
MAMMA Ito Hamilton, who has been
put in the corner because he would not
say please -" You may come out
now" Hamilton Not till you say
please mother. ."--PHnch:
''THIs is q sad commentary on our
boasted civilization, the tramp de-
spondently observed when he found out
that the ham that he had taken from
the front of q store was wOoden--Der-
rick
"DE MORTUIs Nh NIsI MALUM. -
=" His acts made him immortal, and he
lives more than ever" were the words
of minister at q funeral; but the COM
positor put it in this fashion: g His
acts made him immoral, and ne lies
worse than ever"
THE following testimonial OF q GER
tain patent medicine speaks for itself;
Dear Sir: Two months ago my wife
could scarcely speak. She has taken
two bottles of your Life ReneWer' and
now she can't speak st all. Please
send me two more bottles. FWouldn't
be without it. .'i-NoTristO1O1 Herald,
s'WHAT are you looking fOrP" asked
one Of the Widow Bedott's two daugh-
ters, who were entertaining their
young fellows on the piazza rather late
one night last summer, Of their mother,
who seemed to be hunting for some
thing around the front yard. The
morning papers," answered the widow.
The young men left.
s'MY dear Baron" said she, timidly,
"I am such a silly child, while you are
so witty and accomplished, and have
such an irresistible way of putting
things, that wish you would show me
hoWtO--" "HOW to what, my dearP'
'How to let you know delicately but
firmly that I want you to let me have
fifty louis that am most desperately
in need of. ."-FreHch Paper.
THERE are numbers of ships 0nwhich
yellow fever breaks out whenever they
90 into water warmed to about the
temperature of 20 deg. Fair. This
will occur year after year, season after
season. The cause is well known, has
no mystery in it, and can easily be OBJ
waited Any number of tons Of solid
filth from yelloW-fever ports WI be
found between the inner and outer
plankings Of these vessels, and they
will always remain unhealthy until il
is removed. No amount of superficial
cleansing, whitewashing, disifectiOn
or freezing will subdue this permanent
ly, but only put it in allegiance for
short time. 1t must be simply emptied
Out.-ETchGnge.
A ABALD-HEADED gentleman stopped
at the corner of Meridian and Wash
ington streets, the other morning,
where sat an Italian, with 8 cage con-
tanning three canaries with the follow
ing placard placed above them: ''La-
dies and gents, take advantage Of the
occasion of these birds which with i've
cents will select from the several boxes
a planet of the fortune which viii tell
you of your past and future life; said
planets are for all" The bald-hsaded
gentleman handed over nickel, lit
tie bird few out, futtered over the
boxes q moment and drew out an en-
velope with its bill. He read that he
-'would travel to the East and marry
an Egyptian lady of great wealth and
beauty, who had long secretly loved
him. and WHO. Here q sweet
sEiie was spreading over his Counte-
mace, when an elderly lady in smoked
speetaeles, who had approached him
from the rear, twisted the ferule of her
umbrella between his fifth and sixth
ribs and said, "Why hain't you sent
that wood up, JacobP Do you s'pOse I
can cit dinner without as much as o
splinter to burn in the stOVeP" and he
answered not. but meekly followed
her.-E Indianapolis RetOs.