Connecticut western news., 1879-10-01
WIT AND WISDOM.
Easy to get wind of-a fan.

do the most shooting.
 The new broom sweeps clean when it is properly handled.
 The best pedestrian in the world A kitten, for it can make any number of "laps" a minute.
 Many youth has ruined himself by forgetting his identity and trying to be somebody else.
 A wise man watches the develop ment of his plans and then bends his energies to waiting.
 He is a wise man who can judge his own work as well as he judges that of others.-Rome Sentinel.
 -"Heaven lies about us in our in- fancy," spys the poet. Yes, and our neighbors lie about us when we grow up.
 --Gratitude is the fairest blossom wbich springs from the soul, and the heart of man knoweth none more fra 7 grant.
 Strive to impress upon your chil- dren that the only disgrace attaching to honest work is the disgrace of doing it badly.
 Don't sponge on your neighbor for his paper. Be independent and sub scribe at once for yourself. r. Hacken- sack Republican.
 Tt is wonderful how silent man can be when he knows his cause Is just, and how boisterous he becomes when | l,o bpovs he ia in tha wrong
 -"There is no rule without an ex- ception, my son." "Oh, isn't there, pap A man must always be present when he is being shaved"
 We respectfully suggest to England that she release Cetewayo, providing that he will give bonds not to enter the featuring tield.-[ Albany Journal
 The same cold story" that makes "two hearts beat as one, is too often like a bar of soap-so full of lye that 1t won't wash.-[ Hackensack Rep.
 Kindness is slowed away in the heart like rose leaves in drawer, to sweeten every object around them, and to bring hope to the weary hearted.
 An orator declaring that fortune knocks at every mans door once, an old Irishman remarked, When she knocked at mine I must have been out.
 To tho girl below stairs-By all means let your light shine before men, providing it isn't produced by firing the deceitful kerosene. Albany Jour- nal.
 As the western clouds are tinged with gold even after the sun is lost to view, so does the memory of kindly act bring smile to the face when its author be forgotten.
 When New York policeman is ac- cused of clubbing person he alleges that the victim was whistling !" Pima fore air, and tho public are satished. -T Boston Post.
 Gold from Europe continues to ar- rive here in such large quantities that OUT young men can now own two setts or brass sleeve buttons without being con- sidered extravagant.
 -"They say snore. Did you hear me last night at the hotel in the room opposite yours ?" asked he. :" Hear vou." exclaimed the casual acquaintance -" not only that, could feel you !"
 Melancholy barber (with soul above his business)-"I don't get much of Q livin' by it, siri" Customer (through the lather)-"T Then-you ought-for you scrape-hard enough-for 1t l'-
 Punch.
 The English people are claiming that in their navy they have the first woman eailor-a runaway lass who served on war ship in disguise. Why, Lots wife was an old salt.-Philadel- phia Bulletin.
 So witty compliment is rarely made as that of Sidney Smiths to his friends, Mrs. Tighe and Mrs. Cutfe: "Ahl there you are-the cuff that every one would be glad to wear, and the tie that he would not loose!
 They don't know how to manage it in St. Louis. The way to put life into a walking match between newspaper re- porters is to put bloody tragedy at the other end of it and give the word an ] hour before the time of going to press. In a Normandy inn: A traveller ] finds in his bill charge of four francs , for biscuits, and calls the landlord. "How is this? Four francs for bis cults !? Why, you didn't give us any," "Very true, sir will correct it." Aud the corrected bill reads: Biscuits, . three francs"
 Teacher" Now, boys, quadruped and biped you know, are two kinds of animals. Quadruped, animal with four [ legs, such as COW, elephant, horse, etc. s Biped, animal with two legs, such as-- well. ah-. Yes, there is biped," 8 pointing to picture of 0 goose on the t wall, "and I am a blped, and you are all bipeds. Now what am IF" Pause. One of the pupils-"A goose, sir" It was before the trenches at Pe- : tersburgh, and remarkably hot, when you consider we were in December. Our - regiment was charging up side-hill, raked fore and aft with batteries and sharp. shooters. One fellow near me dropped on his hands and knees, and II crawled on in that position towards the o enemy, when the colonel caught him in 'I the rear with the flat of his sabre: "Get k up, you alarmed fool Do you think you n .o are cavalry ?"
 An attentive little son, who had
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