The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1879-04-25
GIRLS WHO GROW UP TO BE MEN.

When a young girl takes the affairs of
this world into her own hands, as most
young girls will do, and sets out on an
eYenttul career on her own hook. there
IS hardly ever any nonsense about it. She
generally gets her ideas from "A novel. or
whole lot of novels, which are forever
around IN the way of young girls. and
organizes herself by the adoption of A
resolution that she is no OOrdinary kind of
human being. An ACCOMMODATING resolu-
tion is that she ought to have been a
man, and she begins to make up her
mind that If she were a man she'd show
them how things ought to be done that
men as they run are OutrageOuSly poor
sticks, and that if there were one thor
Oughly determined man in this world
and no young girl ever believed there
was such--the earth would not be allow
ed to revOlye another day in the same
old humdTum way il has revolved for
thousands of years, but it would be
turned the other end up without anv
special prelminaries. You have seen
that girl a great many times she has
been more or less in about every COM
munIty on the face OF the globe She
was i'll a little town in Kentucky the
other day, and at the time had more
than ordinary resolution. which. when
coupled with the ambition to be a man.
invariably leads to something desperate.
1t IS too bad that we cannot offer the
public anything very romantic in the
way of Il name for this Kentucky Young
girl, but romance must be sacrificed for
truth III all cases of fair dealing, and the
truth is this young girls name is Susan
Johnson. The story about her is also
true. She had read novels for want of
something else to occupy her attention
as most young girls do. and the kind OF
Literature she encountered was ably cal
culated to fire the feminine heart with
the idea that everything is going wrong
all over he world. and simply for want
Of one reSOlute character 10 grasp the
universe by the coat collar and shake it
into proper shape and behavior. 1t Oc-
CURED to the Kentucky young girl that
ii was her duty to perform this simple
act of heroism for the benefit OF human
kind. 1t was right in the line of her
ambition when she came to think about
il. The only obstacle in the way, that
She was not Il man. was overcome by a
timely display OF true genius and a suit
of masculine apparel. which. however
contrary to the law. doth oft become a
girl.
Having got the clothes Susan Johnson
added to the accessories of herOism two
pistols and a dagger. She laid aside her
hair-pinS and peaTl-powder and store
friZzes and an assorted stock of pink
bows. and then went out to search for
some part Of the universe that she could
get a good grip on. Singularly ignorant
of common school geography, as most
novel readers of her kind are apt to be.
she started for an Indiana town which
has never had the reputation of being
the centre OF anything III particular. She
went on an Ohio river boat, with two
pistols and her dagger, fully intending
to be terror and make every Young girl
feel more than ever sorry that she hadn t
been born a man. This piratical and
heroic kind of career met with no ObSta-
Gle for day or two. and the young girl
was beginning to feel that ii was a TIdi-
cUlOusly simple thing to be a man after
all. She was on particular afternoon,
revolving some plans for diSpOSing of the
world after she had conquered 1t, and
watching the deck hands tumble some
freight about. 1t didn't for Il moment
occur to her that there was a rat any
where in the neighborhood, but there
was. and. when the TOuStabOut disturbed
it. with all the recklessness of its kind
it ran by direct line toward the young
girl in BOYS clothes and two pistols and
a dagger 1t was not a moment for hes
itation or heroism. \ woman never
does but one thing when she sees a rat &:
she jumps up on something and creams
That is exactly what Susan Johnston did,
and when they took her off the bale Of
tobacco and carried her TO the ladies
cabin she gave up her two pistols and
dagger and boys clothes and concluded
to release the world from any further
menace at her hands She has gone back
home now and got out her ribbons and
friZzes and has settle down to tatting
work again. She can read novels with
perfect safety now; she knows more
about life than half the people who write
novels. because she has seen a rat. Her
advice to little girls is not to grow up To
he men. -PbjIGdcIpbiu Times.