River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-11-13
Fun.

We have great respect for age; but
the oldest inhab:tant" is generally a
terrible liar.-NsIo Hapen (Ct.l Register.
"Thc deeds that men do live after
them," while their duds" are divided
among the afflicted relatives -NeU
York Meas.
A new song is entitled my Love She
Is Kitten" Kittens scratch like the
mischief, and so perhaps does his love.
-NorriStoaoa Pa Herald.
A proper conclusion for the marriage
ceremony in many of orr fashionable
society" weddings would be: q What
commercial Interests have joined to-
getner, let no i'll temper pat asunderl :.
An editorial in a contemporary is
headed "rhe first gun in Ireland" The
first gun in Ireland, it is officially stated,
was shillaleh.-Norrist0,va Herald.
A woman who turned up her nose and
said with a sheer that she couldn't
No mechanic would have her. So she
was mighty right, she couldn't. - Ciacia-
alati Saturday Night.
Speaking of nautical terms, was
Noah's wife his first Mate p Wa.erloo
ObserUer. From an hibernian stand
point Ham was all the "mate" there
was in the ark.-Net0 HdUen Rfoisttr.
A trade journal, speaking of the
preparations for the holiday gift season,
says "their factory now turns out over
600 doll babies day." This must be
the original "Bahy Mine. = PhtSadeI-
phid Bulletin.
Eight masked robbers stopped a rail-
road train in the west the other day.
AS the train contained an excursion of
editors, the only loss was loss of time
to the robbers
A stranger asked resident of Mil
ford, Del: Are you always troubled
with mosquitoes here ?" Mosquitoes !"
was the answer: "swing pint meas IRE
around any day and you'll catch quart
of them"
Mother" Johnny, why do you look
SO downhearted 2" Johnny" |
haven't got no luck. jim Woodhead
was the last in the class, an I'd worked
mysel. up to the last but one, an now
Jimmy's died to-day, an | am the last
again. Boo-hool"
A paper in Memphis relates . case
of beautiful young lady, the daughter
of wealthy parents, clipping with an ed
itor. This is as it should be. We
thought all along that the young lady
would eventually recover from the
coachman mania and aspire to the no
bilty again. Exchange.
He was plain old granger, and
when his son inform ed him that he had
determined to go to college and learn
something, the old gentleman looked
straight at him and said, "Now look-a-
here, John, you may learn readin,
ritin' 'rithmetic, and little Biography,
but if you grapple with any of them
dead langwidges, I'll kill you when you
come home, SOS they'll do you some
good. "-Noriaown Herald.
The flowers willing in the mead,
The grass is gettit & crisp,
And through the trees at eyentide
the tender breezeS lisp:
While on the stop at haif-past 10
George Henry fondly wnisp
Els sweet things 10 Geraldine.
-Net0 York star.
So me of the newspapers publish a
"usef NJ domestic recipe" every day.
The o Their day in place of recipe, one
of the papers published the following
mott ce: 1--WE sincerely trust that our
readers will forgive us. Yesterday il
giving recipe for the chiblains we in.
advert emily stated that the remedy was
to be taken internally. 1t is, on the
contra ~, for external application. We
hope that providence has restrained
the hands of our beloved subscribers,
for every one who drank of this com.
poun d is dead by this time. We pre-
sent in advance our coincidence to the
bereave1 families. "-Bot0n Courier.