Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1879-03-03
Marriage is no uneven game. 1t

| MarTlage Is no uneven game. III Is a
tie.
Because baby is born in the winter
is no sign that it's snow baller.
"My dear, do you wish to make fool
of me? ?" mo-" replied his wife. "Na-
ture has saved me the trouble"
don't insist upon pedigree for man
or horse. If horse can trot fast the
pedigree is all right; if he can't, l
wouldn't give shilling yard for his
pedigree.
"What is the meaning of backbiter 2"
asked a gentleman at Sunday. school
examination. 1t went down the class
until it came to boy, who said, "Per.
haps it's fea.'
We've noticed that the men who are
always trying to borrow chew of tobac-
co are the men who have bank accounts,
and who eventually crawl up to the top
round of the ladder.
An exchange says: "The Almighty
can hear the rattle of ton of coal or a
bag of potatoes given to a poor man fur
ther than he can the most ornate prayer
shouted from the stateliest tabernacle in
the land"
A lady told her little son, who was
teasing for something to eat, to wait un-
til breakfast. With tear in his eye,
he burst out: mamma, jest honestly
sometimes think you're stepmother %
Happiness is not to be found in the
social glass, nor in the festive hall; not
in the hilarities of the ballroom, nor al
the gaming-table; nor in pursuit Of
wealth, nor worldly fame or honor. but
it may be found in doing good.
1t is almost as difficult to make a mar
unlearn his errors, as his knowledge
Mal-informantlon is more hopeless thar
non-information; for error is always
more busy than ignorance. Ignoranc,
is blank sheet, on which we may write
| but error is scribbled one, from which
We must first erase. Ignorance has n,
light, but error follows false one.
1t amt so much the amount mai
knows, az the ability to use what he du
kno at the right time and place tina
makes him power. have been triein,
to find out for the last forty years a
what time of life a man IL the mos
phoolish, and just az soon az | find ou
l will let you kno. The hardest ma
to convince IL the one who agrees t
everything you say.-Josh Billings.
How doth the busy Thomas cat
Improve the midnight hour?
Enconced upon the roof he yawps
With all his feline power.
And now another Thomas cat
Encouraged by the sound,
Sends up challenge to his foe
To meet him on the ground.
And still another and fourth
Convene to scratch and bite.
While fretted mortals toss and moan
Throughout the dismal night.
What boots 1t though boot be thrown
Ay, marryi or the jack?
They scamper off. but in an hour
= Come smiling yawping back.
A genuine Yankee in San Francis,
: having bored newcomer with evel
conceivable question relative to his obje
in visiting the gold country. his hope
:. his means, and his prospects, at leng
IT. II. asked him if he had family. "Ye
"a sir; l have wife and six children, al
ne ne | never saw one of them" After tt
elk reply the couple sat few minutes in
be lence, then the interrogation again col
90 menced: "Was you ever blind, sir
rR "No, sir!" "Did you marry wido
en- sir?" ''No, SIR" Another interval
ie silence. "Did l understand you to Sd
eT eT sir, that you had wife and six childr
Use living in New York and had never Sc
: one of them 2" "Yes, sir; so stat
Ss ess it." Another and longer pause. Th
the interrogation again inquired: "H
ant can it be, sir, that you never saw one
Il them?" why" was the respon
IT'S 'one of them was born after left"