Litchfield enquirer., 1879-04-24
My Wife's Nose.


THE ADVANTAGE OF KEEN SENSE OF SMELL. | Not that it was handsome. 1 have over and over heard people say, Miss Clement would | have been pretty but for her nose" thought she was pretty in spite of it. The nose was
 large, it is true, and peculiar, but she had
 lovely grey eyes, with dark lashes, darker
 than her nut-brown hair, sweet mischievous,
 sensitive mouth, and skin of rose-leaves
 Still think should have loved her if she
 had been positively ugly. There was in her
 face which transcended all its form of color | ing-there was a-Goedness I always was | a fool about Nanon, and here I am demon
 strating it in print. Nanon Clement had French | blood in her veins; her name came from 8
 Breton grandmother. Certainly she showed
 her race ill tho grara of her bright sweet
 ner, the sparkle of her conversation, the taste
 of her dress; perhaps she showed it in her
 nose.
 After she condescended to marry me, Imust
 say my little woman proved herself a delft and | dainty housekeeper Our small cottage was
 as neat as bees cell, but not painfully so l It was all lived in, all homelike-no shut up
 rooms, no over fine upholstery too good to use
 The carpets were not Brussels, or the chairs
 rose -wood but every thing harmonized in tint
 in every room, and all the ornaments were | good of their kind.
 l udCt d IOOlu W'Gu lduCy WOTk, llkG a
 show counter of an agricultural fair or 8 wors-
 ted shop; neither tortured crewels nor abomi-
 nations in canvas or paper filtered up our bright rooms; there were no tidies on the | chairs, no linen covers on the sofas. An in describable breath of purity and freshness fill l ed the house. 1 think this was owing to her
 nose 1 confess; though had to smile when
 saw her daily tours through the premises with | that dilate feature high in the air, delicatey
 snifing at the door of every closet and cham
 Der, and bouncing upon any breath of evil as
 hawk on its prey. There was no musty
 nook in our house; the first faint scent of
 damp earthness was detected the corner, the | crook, the bottle that generated it was scalded | scraped, dried and stunned on the instant ;
 neither was any sour bread endured an hour;
 no meat outived its usefulness or it's pleasant
 ness in larder or refrigerator; no pickles went
 beyond the verge of proper pickledness ; our
 eggs were always fresh, for Nan averred hat | a fresh egg had its own clean odOr Heavens ]!
 what nose was that which could pierce an
 egg she'll
 l My life was somewhat harrassed, no doubt,
 for my wife developed turn for locating I smells.
 Jack, where have you been p she would
 say. repulsing me suddenly after the first kiss
 with which she always received me coming
 from the office at night and which in politeness
 l was always expected to return-'' where have
 you been ?" with keen flash and quiver of eye
 and eyelid.
 "Why, Nam"
 Because you smell of machinery"
 By George (dear reader, forgive the ex- pletive. 1 never swear, but man must have
 some safety valve), II wouldn't have your
 nose, Man, for five hundred dollars"
 'And 1 wouldn't be without it for five thou
 sand. Tell me, now, haven't you been some
 where ?"
 "Yes, 1 have been to several somewheres
 1 reluctantly admit, Mrs. Gardner, that went l to Smiths printing office to see about some
 blllheads, and spent half an hour studying out
 their new press"
 l 'I though so," was her satisfied rejoinder
 Il know the smell of machine oil very we'll" Another time 1 am greeted with another l shudder.
 "What is it now, Nan ?" I required in ab- | ject tones of dsmaY.
 ''I smell cigars in your whiskers." Surprising !" Ireply. Il do not remem-
 Der having hid any there."
 | Nonsense 1 mean smoke of course" "Nan, believe in Darwin now and forever l Your great grandfather must have been a l pointer. l stood on the platform of crowded
 car, coming up town, by man who smoked | all the way, and the wind was fair to smoke l me, too.'
 'It is bad to have nose sometimes" says ! my wife refectively.
 ''But it would be worse to have nene' But if l groaned in spirit about Mans nose sometimes it was net long before 1 had reason 1 to bless 1t. There was smallpox panic in the city, but we had not feared it, for our | quarter was high and clean, and in no way | exposed to infection, SO we were very careless l about being vaccinated. One night we had been to a concert with a cousin of mine from Boston. There were many encores, which heightened the performance, and our seats were near the stage. George Stevens was to take the midnight train, and the station was at least mile from the concert hall. He
 must be there early to get some baggage re- checked and it was half-past eleven when he | reached the door and found it raining Only one carriage was left on the stand. but I had
 it brought up to the door at once though it was not a nice one, it was at least shelter. 1 helped Nanon up to step, but the moment her head entered the vehicle she shrank back | and jumped down to the pavement.
 ''l can't go in that thing, Jack. It smells of something dreadful"
 Don't be absurd Nanny" said l. ''Keep your handkerchief to your face and get in. George will be late.''
 there, George. I know you'll have something if you do; we all shall. Oh, don't, don't" must say was veXed. The driver swore by all the saints and devils besides that no sick man or anything out of the way had ever been in his carriage ''sence the wurld was med" But nothing convinced Man. She became painfully excited, and 1 was fairly forced to give the matter up or be downright cruel But George would not be persuaded He | looked at me with sort of contemptuous con- passion but fergave him, for he never had SO I and George drove to the station. I was sulky and Nan was sweet. She knew had made a great effort te please her, and she knew George lad sneered inwardly at my compliance, for her perceptions were keen and quick. so she made herself unusually lovely to reward me and, better still, when George was seized with | small pox fortnight after and brought to the edge of death, and by police investigation I found out that the indignantly virtuous hack driver had that very evening of the concert taken two smallpox patients to the hospital, all Nan said was 'Oh, Jack, how good you were to let me walk home :" To which 1 an- swered. Bless your dear nose p But I was doomed to be still further indebt- ed and reconclled to that wonderful organ A year or two after the small pox affair. Nan's old grandmother, decrepit Frenchwoman of ninety, died in Paris, and in fit of pique left all her money and jewels to Nan's mother whom she had utterly lgnored since her mar riage, to Mrs. Clements great distress. But her son had turnedout dissipated, worthless fellow, and at length was shot in disreputa- ble duel, and in the last year of her life Mad l anne Dupare quarreled with the niece she had adopted, and cut her off with mourning ring The inheritance amounted only to few thou sand dollars in money, but the most valuable part was the jewelry, for besides sundry quaint old rings of enamel carbuncle and sap- phire,a pair or two of cameo and garnet brace lets, were comb and necklace of diamonds, an heir loom in the family, of great value Now Madam Depare had had the forethought l to leave these to Mrs. Clement in such a way that they could be alienated or sold, adding a few cutting remarks as to her probable need of money, since she had married that 'vaurien l American" Poor Mrs. Clement! she was past sneers this long time, and the inheritance came to Nan, and in due time reached her, after dangers by land, sea and the custom house.
 Of course some ubiquitous reporter for the