, 1879-05-17
A Puzzled Judge.

An envoy that came Patsy Burns saloor
to get warrant for the proprietor wa,
hoarse, squat and bull -necked. He Leaned
across the bar Of the Jefferson market cour,
and whispered confdentially. Say, ledge,
that's been skinning him."
"A kid! skinning him: Impossible, >
said his honor. "Where Is the animal,'
Hes a young rooster" the applicant
went on. "what dishes out the booze in
Patsy's drum"
His honor looked perplexed "Oh. it's
poultry You re complaining about" he re-
marked. "a l thought you said it Was a
kid Just now. Well, what of the rooster -
The applicant took a good long look at
his honor and fumbled his hat. lining nerv-
ously. Then he began again with an air
submissive, but reproachfll.
Say, jedge, don't you play me. I'm
giving it to you straight; honor bright.
Patsy feels dead sore over the thing and
wants the young terrier hauled up before
You"
The judge dropped his eyeglasses help
lessly. Look here, my friend, he blurted
ont, {" if you come here t6 complain about
whole menagerie, say so but this
PARADE OF FLESH AND FOWL Is DISTRACTING
Let us understand each other. Kid, roos-
ter OF dog Patsys trouble with one OF
ally'
The applicant looked about him hopeless
ly- Then he said:
"Jedge, this looks like a dead open and
shut Iuu don't seem to tumble to me at
all Here's the scheme There's a Ugger
behind Patsv's bar that's crooked, and he
wants him taken in. See,"
''Oh, Patsy has a saloon !, 1t is the per-
son who dispenses the beverages lie has
trouble with
That's the racket, ledge" and the appli-
can't STAMPED with delight You've got
it dead to rights You see Patsy sets this
blcke III his shebang a sending along the cid
stuff, and everything goes hnnkee-doree till
he sees his nibs sporting super and logged
out to the queens taste. Well, Patsy S
pooty fly, he is, and he dropped to the caper
SO he spotted the feller, and to-day he
catched him working the dsmpe-."
Working tine damper:''
''Yes, collaring the poodle"
''Col!aring the-My friend, for Heavens
sake, be explicit" his honor mOaned-
What do you mean"
The applicant turned the quid in his
mouth over and over again, despondently.
but made 10 reply. At last he blurted ont
i'll despair:
Hang it, jedge It's clear enough. He
was tapping the till.
to reflect Then his face frightened up.
e. 4, Il
xting the receipts to his own use in the pro-
prietors absence"
''rHAT's THE TALK"
Roared the applicant 'Appropriatin' the
receipts is the 60 You've got it down tine,
ledge That's what the codser did-appro
prated Patsy Burns receipts. So Patsy
sent me round TO see if you wouldn't give
him the collar and make him produce He's
bad lot, he is, and you ought to give him a
stretch"
What, cried his honor, ''would you be
so barbarous as to have me hang the man ,
"Who's talkin' of hansin,' asked the
other. "What l said IS lie ought to get 4
nip"
Get MP
"Yes 90 up the river"
Il see see" groanci the justice "Go
to Sing Sing, Ny friend We will try to ac-
commoiate you. But this conversation Is
trying 10 a man of my constitution Go to
Patsy Burns, beg you, Tell him to bring
his grievance here in person, and fer heaven 5
snke let Iini bring little of the vernacu!ar
along.
Tie applicant bowed his head sullenly.
Maybe yon' re right. iedge. said he, ian
maybe you amt, hu: it does seem rough on
citizen and Taxpayer if he can't get JUS
tice unless he's swallowed lore dictionary
and crammed down jaw breakers fit to bust
him $50 long" and he stalked gloomily
away in quest of Patsy Barns