The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1879-04-17
RATES OF
WHOLE NO. 1860.
Miscellaneous.

MY search is ore" said the mining ex-
| pert.
An angry man should pull down his
choler.
Which is the oldest berry2 The elder
berry.
What age is the most deceiving2 The
sausage,
The sickle that cuts down the green
things-the icicle.
The latest out the boy who is kept
after school"
A young lady has an undertaken for
hearse suitor.
Life is not so gloomy after all. The
shad season is just on.
To hit a man on the the head is mob
knock-tious proceeding.
A newsboy's appetite for smoking is
stub born thing.
When a stag takes to water he swims
for deer life.
Billings gate-The one over which
y OSQ Olu MS COuTLluR.
Dancing is forbidden during Lent, but
fish balls are allowable.
A felon on the hand is wors than two
in the penitentiary.
The last language spoken on earth will
probably be the Finnish.
Men who stand around waiting for a
drink show lack of cents.
Women are walking this year; they
will leap next year.
lawyer of our acquaintance insists
that he is fee male.
What is it that man with two eyes
cannot see with one? T'other eye.
Thoughts that burn.-Amateur poetry
when the editors waste basket is over.
flowing.
roamin' nose is one that travels about
sticking itself into other peoples busi-
ness.
What paradoxical creature man is.
He takes to blotting paper to keep from
blotting paper
the cargo, and the sight of the creditor
makes the mango.
1t is easier for needle to go through
the eye of rich man than for an editor
to please everybody.
Blessed is the man who loveth his
wifes relations; and not only blessed,
but also scarce.
A tailor who was asked if the close of
of the year made him melancholy, said
yes, until they were settled for.
Great Seizeri" exclaimed Sparrow
grass, when he heard that a deputy Sher-
itf had levied upon his trunk for an un-
paid board bill.
n Y Express cold in the head has
one Advantages man will be so sick
that his wife will have to carry up the
coal from the cellar.
An editor, in speaking of a new book
says, 1T is bound to sell" Isn't that
what they bind all books for generally.
The foundation for the meanest man is
laid when a small boy turns the worm
hole in an apple for his companion to
bite from.
Danbury News An Italian has made
clock OF bread. Some unprincipled per-
sons might call this the knead of the
hour, but it is best not to notice them.
California paper says the Japanese
will win universal respect by a sort of
heathenish habit they have of minding
their own business.
poet has said, Smile when you can"
The men who stand about in barrooms,
waiting for angels live up to that.
Brilliant and impulsive people," said
A lecturer on physiognomy. have black
eyes, or if they haven't, they are apt to
get 'em. if they're too impulsive.
Execute haste and bad pen" as the
dirty porker said when it rushed out of
It's sty and knocked over the man with
avender pants.
Marriage" says a cynic, "is like put
Ting your hand into bag containing
ninety nine snakes and one eel. You may
get the eel, but the chances are against
you"
A young gentleman was the other day
accusing another of having big mouth.
Yes" said the other, "but the Lord had
to make yours small to give you plenty
Of cheek"
When the lights are low and fellow
the same big rocking-chair with
his girl, how he does wish he was at the
North pole, where it would be six months
till morning.
New York Commercial Advertiser An
CELL, the seraphic defaulter of the Pull
man Car Company, has Roman nose
turned slightly to the right. Had he
followed his nose, it would not have led
him to a county Jail
Oil City Derrick He came in late the
other night, and was rolling into bed
when his wife woke up and said Don't
forget your night cap, dear. MO-;
hadzh two nigh-caps alrezhy."
Danbury News A Middletown doctor
has a savage mastiff that takes hold of
strangers But the doctor has kindly
provided a shed on the premises which
visitors can scale and get out of harms
way.
"Ah, yes" says Mrs. Partington, some
years ago on February %. as she watched
the military pass. by, "ah, yes, Washing
ton is dead and his mantle piece don't
seem to have fallen on any man living"
Chicago Journal: "Why is Chicago the
wicke kedest city in the worldY asked he.
They all gave it up and then he solemnly
said: Because it has sent an Angel to
States prison aud is now about to hang
. Lamb"
Never mind, sonny, the rain makes
boys grow" remarked Massachusetts
tramp the other day, when he took