The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-09-17
FACTS AND FANCIES.

Cherokee county, n. q has forty-One
| different kinds of marble.
EVERYTHING at Niagara has been
fenced in, with the exception of the roar
/ of the falls and the hackmen.
The Buffalo Express thinks that wo-
men can never pay ball satisfactorily
until they are permitted to use their
| aprons to catch with.
SAID the sheriff, when he skillfully
adjusted the rope. "This is a disagr, e.
able duty, my dear fellow, but the line
must be drawn somewhere !"
A PRECOCIoUs youth in North Wheel
ing, prompted by an unpleasant recol-
lection OF the last term, says that school
teachers are like dogs, "they lick your
hand" This carries of the palm.
WHEN a woman finds she csn not af-
ford a new dress she economies by spend
ing as much as it would have cost In
buying ribbon to cover the old one up
with bows.
A BILL has been introduced in the
Pennsylvania Legislature appropriat-
ing S25O,00 for the relief of the widows
and orphans of those killed in the Pitts
burgh riots of 1877.
DID you ever know a barber to own
up that be had cut you? They never
do it; they simply go for a chunk of
alum aud casually remark: Well,
guess l shaved that spot a trife too
close"
"WHAT does 12mo mean T asked q
pupil of her teacher, a few days ince.
+" Twelve moi Why, don't you know
what that mesns7 It means the same as
d&weow1y. Haven't you seen it in ad~
vertisements In the newspapers 2"
ONE of party of six Highland district
boys, who are spending their vacation at
Kennebunk, sent the following expressive
letter: We dug a woOdchuek out of
his hole it was skunk; we slept in the
barn that night"
AN observant young man can learn
more domestic economy, and how many
yards of muslin it takes to go around,
by studying a loaded clothes line in the
back yard for fifteen minutes, than he
can BY q whole term in q theological
seminary.
THE tomato is mssquerading about
the market stalls under more aliases
than you can shake = stick at. There
are tOmsytOes, tOmaTteTs, tOmmytOes,
tomattuses, tOmmattOes, tomatoes, and
the other day we heard a woman inquire,
"HOw dye sell yer tOtnadoesW
The society statistician has appeared at
the springs. At Saratoga he has dis
covered one thousand exshOnOrRbles, six
hundred clergymen seeking rest"
twenty-nine heiresses o. the first water,
seventy six eighteen carat heiresses.
Figures failed him when he came to the
third class.
HERE is what they sing at public
school examinations in a Vermont vii
Iage, to the tune of "Yankee Doodle
visitors and all joining in the chorus:
II anything on earth can make
great and moral nation,
1t is to give the little ones
4 rnG-Qugh education.
CHORUS - Five times FIVE are twenty-five,
Five times sir are thirty
Five times seven are thiTtYsfVe
And five times eight are forty,
YESTERDAY little AlphOnso kissed his
betrothed. Immediately cannons were
fred and bells rung, and to-day the
Madrid journals will have full accounts
Of the happy affair. The part selected
for the oscillation Wss the forehead, and
it is hoped that in the c0tlrse OF teek
or so the in atuated youth will be gem
erously allowed a salute on the mouth.
have full charge of the pro-
ceedings, and progress is necessarily very
slow Buffalo Express.