The Indiana State sentinel., 1879-02-05
A FRIGHTFUL EXPERIENCE.
The Hawkeye Man Falls Into the
Clutches of Barbarians,
And Narrowly Escapes Loosins His
Precious Scalp.

lecture l was expected to deliver IN the eve
ming, and so badly scared that couldn't re-
member the subject nor what it was about
I went into fremont street Institute OF
Facial Manipulation and Tonsorial Decor
ation'' and inquired for the professor who
occupied the chair OF medieval shaving and
nineteenth century shampoo. One of the
junior members of the faculty, who was
brushing an undergraduates coat, pointed
me to a chair and 1 climbed in. When the
performance was about concluded, the bar
Der said TO me:
"Have your hair trimmed, sir?''
1 believed not.
''Needs it very badly, sir" he said; "looks
very ragged"
Iuever argue with barber. 1 said, All
right; trim it little, but don't make it any
shorter"
He Immediately trimmed all the curl out
of it, and my hair naturally, you know, has
a very graceful curl to 1t. Inever discovered
this myself until few months ago. and then
1 was very much surprised. L discovered it
by looking at my lithograph.
Well, anyhow, he trimmed it.
On the 9Th of December 1 was at Bath, Me.
Again was sQdFeU, anu again Tue DtTOtI
implored me to let him trim my hair. When
/ answered him that it had been trimmed
only two days before, he spitefull V asked
where Il was done. / told him, and he gave
expression 10 burst of sarcastic laughter.
.wen. well, well,' he said at last, $50 you
let them trim your hair in Boston? Well,
well. Now, YOU look like a man who has
been around the world enough to know bet
ter than that"
Then he affected 10 examine lock or two
very particularly, and sighed heavily.
Dear, dear" he said, Il don't know
really, as could do anything with that hair
or not; it's too bad"
Well, his manner frightened me, and
told him to 60 ahead and trim it, but please
not make il any shorter.
No be said; ''oh no, it wasn't necessary
to cut it any shorter; 1t was really too short
now, but il did need trimming"
So he trimmed" 1t, and when faced the
Rockland audience that night l looked like
a prize fighter.
In four days from that time 1 was sitting
in the chair of barber down in New York
State He shaved me in grateful silence,
and then thoughtfully ran his fingers over
my lonely hair.
Trim this hair little, sir?' he said,
'straighten it up about the edges?"
meeSly told him had it trimmed twice
during the preceding week. and l was
afraid 1t was getting too short for winter
wear.
ssYes,'' he said, she didn't know but what
it was pretty short, but you didn't need TO
cut it any shorter to trim it. Ii was in very
bad, ragged shape at the e1ds."
Iremained silent and obstinate, and he
asked me when had it trimmed last. l told
him. and he burst into shout of laughter
that made the windows rattle.
WHATS the matter, Jim?" inquired an as
sistant partner down the room, holding his
patient in the chair by the nose.
Jim stified his laughter and replied:
This gentleman had his hair trimmed
down in Maine"
There was general burst of merriment all
over the shop, and the apprentices laid down
the brush he was washing and came over to
look at the Maine cut, that he might never
forget 1t. l surrendered. Trim it little
then" gro-ned, but IN the name of hu-
mani,y, don't cut it any shorter"
No the barber said, "he wouldn't make
it hairs breadth shorter
When left that shop, if 1t hadn't been for
my ears, my hat would have fallen down
clear on my shoulders. When l reached the
hotel everybody started, and a couple of men
got up and read hand bill on the wall, de-
scriptive of q convict who had recently es-
capped from Sing Sing, and locked from the
bill TO myself very intently. That night sew
eraI of the audience drew revolvers as came
out on the platform.
Then l went to Amsterdam, New York.
The barber of that sleepy village, who in the
interval of his other duties acts as mayor of
the town and edits the local papers, under
took to shave nae with piece of hoop iron
he pulled out of his boot leg. When l re.
sisted he went out into the kitchen and
came back with a kitchen knife and can
opener, and offered me my choice. / select
ed the can opener, and he began the massa-
ere, rsmarking incidentally that he used to
keep good sharp spoke-shave for his par
ticular customers but he had lost 1T. Then
ba ii INV HAIR reodad TRIMMING vary bad "A.
ly. protested that it was impossible; it had
been trimmed three times within 10 days
and was as short now as business man on
the 1st of January.
'Oh,'' he said, cit wasn't too short, and
besides, there was no style about it at all. u
He could give it some shape, however, be
said without making 1t any shorter.
So surrendered and told him to shape il
up. And il that fore doomed, abandoned
Amsterdam son of an oakum picker didn't
go out into the woodshed and come back
with rusty old horse rasp and begin to file
away what little hair l had left. He allowed
few shreds and patches to remain, how
ever, clinging here and there to my scalp in
ghostiy Ionliness. / rather feared that my
appearance that evening would create
panic, but it did not. 1 observed that q ma
jority of the audience had their hesdi
''shsped up after the same manner, ant
were rather pleased with my conformity II
the local custom and style
Well, got along to Cory, Pennsylvania
and rushed in for shave and got it. in on,
time and two motions.
"Hair trimmed, sir?' the barber said
1 supposed he was speaking sarcastically
and so 1 laughed, but very feebly. for / wa
getting to be little sensitive on the subjec
of my hair, or rather, my late hair. But b,
repeated his question and said that it needed
trimming very badly 1 told him that wa
what allied it; it had been trimmed to death
why, said my hair had been trimmed fiv,
times during the past 13 days. And l wa
afraid it wouldn't last much longer.
WELL" be said, sit was hardly the thin,
for man of my impressive appearance, wh'
would naturally attract attention the mo
ment | entered room Il have to stand OF
my tiptoes and hold on with both hands t
look over the back of car seat) to goaroun,
with such head of hair. when he coul
straighten it out for me in minute"
l told him to go ahead. and closed M