Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-10-09
sips ofIssss,.

1he lawyer may be a man,
but he is fee male all The same.
We hereby decline the post
mastershIp OF Memphis.
Carlyle's income is $1,000 a
year, but We wouldn't be as ugly
as he is for twice the amount.
A countryman seeing til c
sign, GLANDS off, innoeently
asked if they had gone ON a
picnic.
We know of but one thing
that ever reached the age OF
Methusaleh, and that is a circus
! joke.
The Hartford Journal has
come 10 a conclusion that more
people are troubled with paraly-
SIS OF the conscience than Of the
body.
Ii you would do as you would
be done by, never ask a man
twice for borrowed money. Set
it down to profit and loss, and
profit by the loss.
Delicate consideration for the
elephant-considerate little Girl:
"Please, Mr.. Keeper, viii it
hurt him if l give him a currant
out of my BUMP"
'It is shame, husband, that
| have to sit here mending your
old clothes!' "Don't say a
word about it, wife; the least
said the soonest mended."
Perhaps the surest sign of re-
turning prosperity is the unlim-
tied brass, and unmitigated ly-
ing displayed in the average
patent medicine advertisement.
"Stop a minute," is one of
the commonest ofverbal phrases.
And yet how could one stop a
minute? Such a thing might
have been done in the time of
miracles.
When filling a cavity, dentists
sometimes place a dam in the
patients mouth. When a tooth
IS being extracted, the dentist
is relieved of that duty. The
patient supplies all that are re-
quired.
A Texas paper says pathetic
ally that they wish few citizens
OF the Lone Star State would live
to die natural deaths, in order TO
show the world what a healthy
climate they have.
While a negro was white
washing in the Jail at Troy,
Ohio, a prisoner blackened his
own face with burnt cork, daub-
ed his clothes with whitewash,
md walked out unmolestcd.
A man dying recently in ST.
Louis left 81, 900 to an individ-
lal who, years before, ran away
With his wife. He said i'm the
will that he never forgot a fa-
yor.
lie had an auburn-haired girl
md promised to take her ont
'iding. She met him at the
loor when he drove up, and ex-
"HelIo! Ready?" She
misunderstood him, and they
lon't speak now.
Some one asked Prince c.
What the great powers of Er-
ope were. He replied as only
Frenchman could, and with
he wit of Talleyrand: "They
re England, Germany, Russia,
france and-women.o
A subscriber to a southwes-
crn newspaper died recently,
eaving four years subscription
Inpaid. The editor appeared
t the grave and deposited in
he coffin palm-Ieaf fan, a lin
n coat, and a thermometer.
"Well, John,v said teacher
o his pupil, "who was the old
st man ~ "Methuselah. ""How
an that be when we learn from
he Scriptures that he died be-
ore his falher?" John was ST.
ent because he could not tell.
Sea! Ter, can you?
The best material for a church
) canvas. We saw a number
{ men ut The circus, last Satur-
ay. keep wide-awakc during
he two hours performance, who
ant possible keep their eyes O.
en- in church five minutes after
ne sermon begins.
The ediiorof a Chicago news
aper, wanting the details of an
in Connecticut, tele-
raphed 10 a correspondent at
Hartford: "Scnd full particu-
lrs of the flood" The reply
anne quickly: "Yoa will find
lcm iii Genesis"
"Can you see the whole of
leE' asked a fellow, who want
4 an entire view, Of the photo
rapher. "Oh, yes, sir,' was
ne reply, al eau see scarcely
else except the hole.
'ou had betIcr close It." The