Litchfield enquirer., 1879-04-17
CLIPPINGS.
A needle has an eye to business

A needle has an eye to business
 Sitting Bulls medicine man is about to is- sue a little phamphlet on the Treatment of the scalp" Admiral Dot wants to marry. Judging from his name, his wife will be the girl of the period.
 It has been found that one swallow doesn't make a spring. Therefore if you are in a hurry for spring take two or three swallows.
 When you wake up at night and hear the ba- by crying, look out for danger-for there is a rock ahead
 The new pension bill should have provided that man shot in the back should not receive his back pension money.
 Dr. McCosh of Princeton has taken out his naturalization papers and is a voter. Perhaps this will bring New Jersey into the Union. feet away from the fire, we might have some heat in the room. And they hadn't been mar ried two years either.
 Query Did she mean to obey? It ap- pears that he said "Tell her to go to the devil" And she said she "would consult lawyer"
 A western editor, in response to subscriber who grumbles that his paper is intoleraoly damp, says it is ''because there is SO much due on it."
 Old Lady-"Ah, you bad boy, draggin' your little brother along like that! Sposin you was to kill him?" Bad bey-"Dont care. Got another indoors '"
 That was neat bull one of our clergymen perpetrated in his sermon the other day. Speaking of Bunyan in prison, he said No one but his blind daughter came to see him."
 A young man, to hector young lady, said: ''This is St. Patricks day. Where is your green bow ?" AS quick as a flash came the response: 'Yeu are green enough for me: come along.
 A baker has just been arrested in Berlin for making a gingerbread caricature of Prince Bismarck, and the child who ate it was taken into the back yard and solemnly spanked for assimilating Democratic ideas.
 You are nothing but a demagogue," said tipsy fellow to Tom Marshall, who promptly paid back ''Put wisp of straw around you, and you will be nothing but demijohn.' Gen. Lee asked straggler one day, whom he found eating green persimmons, if he did not know that they were unfit for food. Pm not eating them for food General" replied the man. '1m eating them to draw my stomach | up to fit my rations"
 Professor (blandly).- .-"Mr. ", how did the monasteries acquire so much wealth during the fourteenth century,"
 Sophmore (thoughtfully).- I don't exactly know, sir, unless they passed around the plate at both services"
 The following extraordinary inscription ap- a in, tho lisI q at Peshawur: "Sacred to the memory of the Rev. Blank Blank Blank, A. M., who spent seventeen years as missionary among the Ali ghans, and translated the Holy Writ into their | language. He was shot by his attendant. | Well doue, thou good and faithful servant. !" The hair of a mummy examined by Mr. Frank Buckland, the Englsh naturalist, was found to be banged" in the way common to modern young ladies. Then they want to tell us the girls of the present day are more frivo- lous than their ancestors!
 The Independent says that here is something after the manner of Walt Whitmtn:
 70 table o chair big chair! o little chair l! o three-legged stool! o towel, basin, pewter mug!
 If adore anything, it is you, coal scuttle.... and the coal of the coal l-scuttle. and particularly the housemaid who emp ties the coalscuttle on to the fire"
 A wel-known lawyer of this city rejoices in a very small son, who is possessed of a most logical turn of mind. Like every other young ster, the child believed in Santa Claus, and was never tired of hearing how hls Oh ristmas presents were brought down the chimney by that generous and jolly saint. This year, | however, it was considered advisable to dissi- pate these nursery illusions and to tell him that it was papa and mamma who really filled his stocking, and Santa Claus was only a myth. The little fellow listened patiently to
 his fathers explanation, and then, after a moments deep reflection, said, ''Well, father, l Suppose all those are lies, too, you've been telling me about Jesus Christ :"