St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-05-02
The Pleasant History of Squire Jack
and the Parson.
CHAPTER /.
HORACE X. IDE.

anu Guc K 1dTSOh.
CHAPTER 1.
HOp Squire Jacks Chickens Scratched
up the Parsons Peas.
Not that Squire Jack was engaged in
the poultry business, any more than the
other members of the Hickorytown
Church. His neighbers, like all good
people in country villages, kept chick
ems, turkeys and geese, and so did he
of course. Nor was Squire Jack peeu-
liar i'll keeping flock of moral fowls !;
for all his neighbors, like all other NOR
tails, did the same. What Squire Jack
was specially noted for was, that in his
flock of moral fowls, which all his life
long had gained their livelihood by
scratching ameng his neighbOrs' faults
and tailings, there was one bird, Il no
BILE, high-stepping, long-spurred cock,
which, singular to relate, while he let
other peoples gardens alone, could
scratch up the Parsons early peas more
perSeveringly and more effectually than
any other cock in the county.
The HickOrvtOwn Church was, as the
English would say, ga poor living :"
whether because the people were poor,
or because they were close listed, mat
tcrs not here to relate. But so it was,
that pastors were often changed. And
when IL new parsen had settled in the
place, to see Squire Jacks famous long
tailed game cock walk over into the
Parsons yard, and tear up his early
peas, and scratch up his garden and
make it look like the abOmir,ation of
HnSnln 1n1 4 Il
over IT all, was sight to make all
HickOrytown shake its sides with
laughter. Squire Jacks bird was fa-
nous fowl indeed brt he came home
TO roost one night in plight so sad,
and so bedraggled, and so belttled in
his own eyes and estimation withal,
that he was never thereafter, to his dy-
ing day, known to mount fence and
crow. How and by what means this
sad mlsadventure beiell the poor cock
we shall now proceed to relate; or in
other words, we shall tell, firstly, how
Squire jacks chickens tore up the Par
sons peas; and, secondly, how Squire
Jacks chickens came home to roost.
Squire Jack had n hobby. as who mas
not and he rode it hard, as who had
better right But alas one day his
horse lay down and-died. Squire
Jacks hobby horse, or us, in another
figure we have termed it, his game
cock, was this, to wit: Squire Jack
read his Bible; and there were one or
two chapters which had peculiar fas-
cinatlou for him. These were the tenth
of ST. Matthew and the tenth of St.
Luke. OF reading and eXpOunding
these, especially in the presence of a
new parsOu, he hever wearied, us indeed
he was never defeated in his forcible
exposition of them. A self-made theo-
logian was Squire Jack, and great in
deed was he in the department of Exc
gesis; especially in so far as it concern
ed our Lords instructions to the apos-
ties as to the manner in which they
should go forth into the world, and the
means 10y which they should be sup
ported. He was ''dead sot agin preach
ers hcvin' a Selery. Let 'em work like
Paul did, an earn their own livin'.n
Some ten years back the Hickorytown
Church had been about to buy a pa1-
sonage, but Squire Jack threw the
whole meeting into helpless confusion
by powerful speech, in which he
challenged any man in Hickorytown to
give the Scriptural authority, chapter
and verse, ''fer preachers hevin' per-
sonages. He'd like to know whether
Peter ever had a parsonage ?n The
parsonage" was never got.
'No, my friends''-thus would he.
time and again, begin his harangue in
the village store of winter nights, and
IN none the lower tone because the
Parson WAS by-"No, my friends. |
amt aSin the preachers. Preachers are
all good enough in their place. What
am agin, is this thing of preachers
gettin' peIsonages an wearin' shiny
black coats; an hnvin white hands like
Il woman, an gettin' from four to six
hundred dollars II year. I'd like lest
once in my life to see the Scripter au-
thority fer that. Did Paul hev a per
sonage9 Did Peter hev shiny black
coat? Did Thomas or Philip or any OF
the rest of 'em ever hev any selery 2
No sir! they he'd nOthin, an the Lord
told 'em they shouldn't take nothin' ;
not two coats, nor Il purse, nor money,
nOthin' at all, but maybe a staff. THAT'S
the way they was to go out, with their
lives in their hands, an trust in the
Lord to keep 'em. Am now what |
| "tht W hHON, dH WuslJ i've DGen ASK
in every preacher we've he'd here in
Hickorytown for the last twenty year
an we've he'd right smart of 'em in that
tlme--is this is preachers nowadays
better'n the apostles was?"
1t was telling speech. 1t was Il
knock down argument. 1t scratched
up the Parsons peas most effectuallv.
and crOwed cock -a-doodle-doo over the
whole forlorn garden. Many was the
tilt Squire Jack run with the preachers
and always with the same result-the
parsOn was invariably unhOrsed and
ingl0riously defeated and put to shame
in the eyes of all Hickorytown. In
vain did the preacher argue that these
Instructions to the apostles could not
reasonably be applied to their success
sOrs, nor were necessarily intended tC
be so applied, on the ground that times
and circumstances had so greatly
changed since the apostolic period, that
it would plainly be impossible to adj
here to the strict letter of the text
Squire Jack was proof against the his
torical argument, aud would none OF
their refined theological lore: he was
plain man, and could understand
plain words, and there it was in the
Bible, in black and white, and as plain
as the nose on your face, and you
couldn't and shouldn't get out of it,
twist how Won mioht ssWas nreachers