davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14
CITY o AND COAL
YARD.

The undersigned begslsave
to announce to the people Of
Yankten and vicinity that
he has established q wood
and coal yard near the depot
and will hereafter be pre-
pared to furnish to customers
al kinds Of fuel at 40 reas.
enable prices az can be pro-
cured elsewhere. Thankful
for the generous patronage
bestowed upon him during
several years Of business in
this city, the subscriber re-
speotfully solioits q oontin-
nance Of the same.
Orders left at Seebold's
fruit store near the post
Office will receive prompt at
tention. s. N. FOLYER.
DR.. 81. D. Dodge. oent,st, Dewsitit's block
Yankton.
DR.. Geo. P. Dix, resident dentist, office
Sawyer's block.
Tom and Jerry, at Frank Cochrane's, on
Third street.
Milwaukee beer on draught at George
Browns at five cents glass.
r-s.H
Milwaukee lager beer and lunch at Frank
Cochrane's.
Old papers for sale at this Office.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

The Turnverein' masquerade 1t Stones
Hall will take place On, the Path inst. Tick
ets $l.50, 1orA t.ae 1t 6caishdein's or At the
Germania House. ,9S3 az ri
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

Our constant aim is the greatest good Of
our numerous customers. We know We
can offer inducements second to none. We
pay no fancy prices. Mark none. Our OBJ
ject is to encourage good trade. We offer
no bargains to catch trade. Our prices are
uniformly the lowest.
T. F. MARSHALL & Co.,
Capital street.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14
CHANGE OF TIME

Twill deliver Headlight Snow White on
to all parts ofsbe city. E4TusSd.y, Thursday
and Saturday, commencing Tuesday next.
February IL. Many thsnks to the citizens
4 9 Yankton for their liberal Ntzpmeay /.
G. L. RIcHARpsos.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14
LOST,

Tuesday night, piek. bos bs.vseast the
Msshodist church and he corner Of 5th and
Walnut strsst Il go b let q this easos.
Dr.. W. II. H. Brown, destist, Uniou
blosk, ysaktou. aat1NAF
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

T. F. Marshall & Co., Capital street, have
now in stock the finest line Of sugars, coffee,
teas, syrups, cheese aud canned goods in this
city. Give them q trial a4
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

7. F. Marshall & Co., are always ahead
in three thiags. Reducing prices; intro
duciug nsw and novel goods; and giving
hoiest wsifht and Enil measure.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

An elegant assortment of fine GOLD
PENS and holders, pencils ETC., of the cele-
brated Morton manufacture, just received
II Mills & Purdy's.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14
THE LEGISLATURE.

ro.d.y,s Doinks In the Respective Bodies.
Just Is "jocund morn stood tip-toe on the
misty..mountain's height, the early members
Dakota body of Lawmakers, with mufled
heads and bumped shoulders, wendell their
way. to the court house to earn their per d.
en- before starting on the Beloit excursion
r.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

The member of the reform club who
wrote the notice which appeared in yester-
day's paper announcing the anniversary Of
the club on the 10th of October, when the
same date in February was intended, wants
US to explain that he was drunk when he
did the writing. We don't believe he was,
but must take his word for it. At any rate
the printer who put the item in type was
sober, and like q we'll drilled craftsman fol-
lowed copy. The notice, properly corrected,
appears again to-day, from which it appears
that the reform club will appropriately eel
citrate its first anniversary At the club room
on Cedar street, on Wednesday evening, the
18th inst.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

Go down to. 4. +. Masshall & Co.'S com.
plea ssoossy esAeblishmeLt in Aorrison's
bleck, Capital ssrsst, aad GET . sample Of
tAsis t~nthss.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

Our eock is alvsys frssh. We receive
new groceries from first hands every day.
We buy no stale goods. We sell our gro
ceries lower than any other house in the
city. q T.sF..A1ssHA1L& Co.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

Just received, one hundred cans Of A.
Booths Celebrated Oval Brand Dysters..
always flesh at Jenk inson's. Sole agent.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14
the PRICE OF COAL REDUCED.

From This date and until further notice,
will sell hard coal for $l2.25 per ton, deliv.
cred, . reduction of SITS per ton.
s. n. FoLYER.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

oe3oaoo0S0oo NEU&
Dixon county, Nebraska, brag. on is fas
roads.
A liberal society is soon to be organized
in Candy.
Dry oak wood cell. Al olivet for a. OF
per cord.
Fountain is soon to have q printing Office
and Newspaper.
A very pleasant party was given in Gary,
last Friday evening.
The citizens Of Candy have closed up the
saloons Of that place.
A number Of cases Of diptheria have &C.
cnrred in ponca, Neb.
A great deal Of sickness il reported all
through Dixon county. Neb.
A good deal of plowing has been done
between Yankton snd Olivet.
desperate effort is being made to cap.
ture horse-thievss in Dawson county.
Lawrence county sends more people to
the insane asylum than Union county.
VIM. Potter, Of Cedar county, gave a lee.
ture IN Temperance in PoncA Nebraska, q
few nights ago.
John Dillon will put in an appearance in
Sioux City, with the Walhck's, on the 18th
and 9th of March.
The Gary Interstate job Office received
an order for job printing from the Black
Hills. which causes it to smile all over.
More marriage notices have been chroni-
cled throughout the press Of the territory il
the past month, than in the tao months pre-.
vious to that.
The "Old Bachelors Order" Of Gary,
did not die as was stated. A portion Of the
members seeded, and formed themselves
into a debating club. was all.
The amicable discussion between the lit:
erary societies, connected with the school.
At Canton and Bsloit, On the eve. Of the 10th
was . very interesting affair.
A reward of $500 is offered by Pete,
Smith, of Firesteel for the recovery Of tvs
poniee, stolen from his premises on ths
night of the Oath Of January.
Father Martin, editor Of the Dakota City
Eagle, has discovered the fountain Of per
petual youth, and has renewed his age. s.
says the Ponca, Nebraska. Journal.
Rev. E. H. Hurlbutt, of Centerville, Tur
ner county, was the recipient of q free vii
offering, to the amount Of $1,000, from tn
friends of his several churches. . short tim
ago.
Six men were arrested in Canton, for tn
part they played in = drunken spree il
%saloon, on last Friday night. Assaults Will
deadly weapons, were the charges, and the.
were all put under bail to await the actiol
Of the grand jury.
The Ponca Journal contains a long an
interesting communication from the editor
who has been on a trip up the Missouri Z
far as Niobrara. The towns Of St. Jane
St. Helena, Green Island and Niobrara 6,
ceive the most favorable mention, and th
latter is put down by the enthusiastic write
as the " metropolis of the west"
Mrs. Zellers No. 2, of Canton, has bee
deserted by the villainous wretch, callin
himself q man and her husband. She ha
the heartfelt sympathy Of all true womer
as we'll as the congratulations that she thu
soon in her married life became cognizan
of the true state Of affairs, and became X
lieved Of his presence. He has gone o.
with No. /.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14
FOk RKNr.f

The brick store occupied by Chas. Eiseman &
Co. situated on Broadway. will be for rent on
the LIST of January next. Apply to
NJ B%URLEIGH RIOS.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

We make . specially Of tess. We have
the largest variety and stock in the market
Our prices ve guarantee 70 be 25 per cent.
below oil competition. We will give you
. sample add price and you may satisfy
YOURSELF T. F. MARSHALL 4 Co.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

Aservaat girl to do general housework in {.
small family. Apply at real estate office of
j. PARKER HAYWARD.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

We want everybody to come and see us.
We know We can make you happy.
T. F. MARSHALL & Co.,
Z. Capital. Street,
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14
Old papers for sale at this ONCE.
Spsfial Nptifss.
FOR ~sALE-CHEAP FOR CASH.

. FOR sALE-CHEAP FOR CASH.
Il II So b4 @
Mrs. G. rlatt's dwelling house. on walnut St.,
near 9th street.
Hosea Briggs dwelling house on 9th street,
near Franklin school house. Good location to
all. Apply to C. W. RoBERrs.
s,vN.& x .r5r rE. crfs Agent.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

3 A LOT Of iine Michigan winter apples, Just
received and for sale At
+. D1Lox1'A
Brosdway.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14
LIST OF LETTERS.

Remaining in the pos,ofacel of Yankton
Yankton county. D. T., Feb. II, 1879.
If not called for 10 80 days, will be sent
to the Dead Letter office: ~
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14
LOST.
WANTED.

= 4 Jet earring, with q single pearl setting.
The finder will please leave it at this Office.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14
5 RORsSALE on Easy rERNB.
LOST.

Fifty eight desirable building lots in Lower
Yankton, sJ.sE. BRUCE Il Co.,
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

HELD FOR POSTAGE.
L. Brouilette, Rockeryille, D. T.-3c.
DR.. E. c. Wooley, Paris, nl.-3c.
Persons calling for advertised letters will
please say advertised.
"A. w. Howard, P. N.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14
NOTICE TO OWNERS OF STOCK.

/. The undersigned, Peter Steffen, will, after the
nnt day Of April, 1873, take stock to herd. He
will employ competent men to take charge of
the herd, and will hold himself responsible for
the care and safs-keeping of all cattle entrusted
to hun. He IEouisss to- give general satisfac-
ton. PETER STEFFEN.
Yankton. p. Il. Feb. c, 1879. 10
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

"lsS MAT
tina :
Bye, Andrea.
Black, f r
Brake, Nils A
Briesman, Earnest
Casson, Willie
Carrier, T
Gathers, Abraham
Christison, &c
Christensen, Jens
Davis, Mrs. Alfred
Frazey, DR.. J w
Frick, Paul
George, Miss Clara
George, Miss Clara
Howard, w H
AZ u SsN
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14
YAnkrox PRODUCE MARKET.

A pair of fur gloves were picked up on
Third street, yesterday. The owner can get
them BY calling At Cars grocery store. :
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

Z 4 ~. Is -
Between Mulberry street and the. Congrega-
tional church, on Sunday forenoon. a small black
beaver cape. faced on right side with silk, and
open at the back. Please leave at Press office.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

Jsnda,. Jazef
Kelm, Gottiieb
Keuntz, Jno
Larson, DA
Murphy, Ernss.
Nilsson, John
Overgaard, c
Oulson, Ollie
Pointer, D w
R%umbuugh, Thos
Siherara, Joerpe
Stokes, II
Steimel, Phi.
Stem, Anders X
Terreyck, Levi
Terry, w H
Taylor, Thad 8
Mra Mario
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

rurs elder vissssr q Jssksnsoa's.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

Ten pin sllsy II FREQ Ls,ch's
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1879-02-14

Milwaukee lager beer and lunch at Frank
Cochrane's.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-07-18
Ice-Chests and How to Keep
Them.

In refrigerating apparatus for domestic
use, of course, we stand pre-eminent. But
we have arrived at our present form of ap-
pliance only by slow and gradual changes.
The most noted improvement Of late years
in ice-chests has been that the food to be
preserved is no longer in immediate con-
tact with the ice. The reasons are very
numerous why food should not be in i'm
mediate juxtapOsitiOn with ice. We will
only cite two of them. Immediate con-
tact wastes the ice, which, in continuous
melting, washes out, more or less, the sa-
vor of the food. The best form, then, of
the apparatus is where the ice is placed in
a chamber apart from the food, and the
temperature is reduced by radiation. One
thing which is often overlooked by the
housekeeper is that some small amount of
ventilation in certain periods of refrigera
ton is necessary. Such exhalatiOns as
come from meat or fish, the soluble COM
pounds being carried away by vapOr, in
variably cOndense in the first stages Of cool
ing. Very careful hOnsekeepers, when
meat is first put in the ice-chest do not
close down the lid of the safe too tight.
There is some small waste of the ice, but
when the proper time has come and the
chest is closed, there is improvement in
the flavor of the meat. 1t is exceedingly
Wasteful, under the ordinary conditions of
the old-fashioned ice-chest, not to envelOp
the ice in some wooden cover, such as
common blanket. In the newer apparatus
where there is no immediate contact, it IS
still much more economical to blanket the
ice. The trouble, of course, is that when
ice is wanted to cool water, the contents Of
the safe have to be disturbed. Even in
economical families, where an expense of
over fifty cents a week for ice is not allow
ed by the paucity of the budget, after the
first outlay for an ice-cOOler is made, its
purchase will be paid two or three times
over in the summer by the saving Of the
extra cost of Ice. Nothing requires great
er care, more constant sOlicitude, than an
ice-chest As has been stated, the cooling
process precipitates those compounds
which are found in the aqueous vapOr. A
careless person viii buy ice lavishly for
the ice-chesh, and will still have a most
unsavOry receptacle for food. At least
twice week the ice-boX should be clean
ed by wiping it out with fresh water in
cloth, and giving it, at the end Of the week,
thorough scrubbing. There are certain
things, such as milk, which are very sus-
ceptfbie of taint, and will take not only
an OdOr but the distinct taste from other
food. Fish, raw, or even cooked, is very
apt even under the most favorable cir
,cumstances, to impart its peculiar flavor.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-07-18
Bran as a Fertilizer.

Mr.. Kern, of Lehigh county, Penna.,
SAYS the Parctical Farmer, tried bran as a
fertilizer for potatoes one year and reported
that it increased the yeald One-third. An
other experiment on corn is recorded,
where it produced marked results, the rows
on which the bran was used soon being six
inches taller than the other rows. As seed
will not germinate in dry bran, it would be
well to compost it before using it with to
or three times its bulk Of rich mould from
the woods, sprinkle enough manure water
on it to make it heat, then shovel it oyel
until thoroughly mixed. II this is done
two or three weeks before using, it will
partially decOmpose it so that in contact
with the seed it would not iniure it. We
read that tobbaeo growers in the Conneeti-
cut Valley use bran in large quantities,
importing it from Iowa and Minnesota fol
this purpose. ThOre is rich field for ex-
pertinent for home made fertilizer, which
farmers should work up. There is tas-
cination in the work Of conducting these
experiments, which pays for the trouble IT.
self besides the useful knowledge obtained
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-07-18
Vegetable ivory.

The Colonies and India furnishes some
interesting particulars respecting the so
called vegetable ivory, which is now used
as a substitute for ivory. The vegetable
ivory is the produce of a species of palm
found wild in South America and Africa.
Inside the hard shell is the white kernel,
which being softer than ivory and easily
carved, as well as readily dyed, and being
less brittle than bone, is largely used in
making buttons, sc. The unripe fruit con-
sists of green shell, containing watery
fluid, which as the nut ripens gradually
thIekens into solid matter. The water,
though bitter to the taste, is wholesome,
and often renders invaluable service to
travellers, who cannot other wise obtain
water to drink. The tree Phytelephas
macrocarpa) on which the fruit grows is un-
like an ordinary palm, having little or no
stem and dropping downwards, especially
when the weak branches are over weighed
by six or seven punches ofnuts, each con-
tanning six or seven seeds, enclosed IN
thick heavy shells and outer sheath, and
weighing altogether from twenty to twenty
four pounds.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-07-18
LAKE SHORE & MICHIGAN SOUTH.
ERN R. r.

GOING WEST.
Michigan Express leaves Buffalo al 9 p. m.
Erie I2:50 a. m, Conneaut 2;i6 a. m, Ashta-
bula 2.53 a. m, Geneva 3:l9 a. m, Patnes-
Vile A.05 a. m, Cleveland $50 a. m.
Special Chicago Express leaves Buffalo al
1875 a. m. Erie $50 3. m, Ashtabula Ass
Painesville $40, and arrives at Cleveland al
6-S5 a. IN.
at Cos a. m, AmbOy GIL, Kingsville 6:2l, Ash
tabula 6:33, Saybrook 6:4S, Geneva 6:5S, Paines-
vile 7s28, and arrives at Cleveland S:45 a. m.
Toledo Express leaves Buffalo at 6:45 a. m,
Erie I0.05, COnneaut 1885, Kingsyille ll:ll
Ashtabula I1:23 a. m, SaybrOOk il:33 Ge-
neya ll:48, Painesvtlie 1913, and arrives
al Cleveland at 1:25 p. m.
Special st. Louis Express leaves Buffalo
sos q. m, Erie 1887, Ashtabula 1&O2 p. m,
PainesYille 1245, and arrives at Cleveland
l:80.
Pacific Express leaves Buffalo 1920 p. m,
Erie 1852, Ashtabula 5:l2, Painesville 6:0l, and
arrives at Cleveland at 7:O5 p. m.
GOING EAST.
Atlantic Express leaves Cleveland 7:30 a. m,
Painesyile SD, Ashtabula 800, COnneaut 9:28,
Erie Ie.2O, and arrives at Buffalo at LILO p. m.
Toledo and Buffalo Accommodation leaves
Cleveland at lisI5 a. m, Painesville l&35, Ge-
neva Ill a. m, SaybrOOk l:2O. Ashtabula l:32,
KinggViile 1:5. AmbOy -. COnneaut 2.02.
Erie $40, Buffalo 200 p. m.
Chicago and st. Louis Express leaves Cleve-
land at 250 p. m, Painesville 1886, Ashtabula
Ais, Erie 525, and arrives at Buffalo at sos
p. "a.
COnneaut Accommodation leaves Cleveland
at $50 D. m, Painesville6.09, Geneva 6:45, Say
brook 6:55, 4Ashtabula7:O4, Kingsville 7:l5, Am
boy "a, and arrives at COnneaut at 7:30 p. m.
at 1880 p. m, Painesville 1l:2O Ashtabula 1904
a. m, Erie I:2O and arrives at Buffalo at 400 q.
m.
r8-Trains run by Columbus time.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-07-18
A Filtration in a Theater.

From Forney's Progress.
SCENE, A THEATER. Seated in the orches-
ira lady and gentleman; the former much
enamored with the latter, in fact desirous
Of winning him. The lady, however, has
flirting tendencies, and indulges them with
handsome party in the circle. The escort
is not unobservant OF this little by-plaY,
and finally asks smilingly, "Do you know
that gentleman with whom you are firt-
ing?"
An embarrassed negative is the reply.
''Then excuse me a moment"
The escort Immediately crosses the the
ater, and puts a similar question to the
other conspirator, 'Sir are you acquainted
with the lady at whom you haye been smil-
ing this last half hour?'
"Nop
"Would you like to be?" pleasantly.
Very much surprised, Certainly"
"Then come with me-"
A moment later the escort introduces
the not altogether comfortable pair. Then
the mild expression leaves the insulted
gentlsman's face, and he says sternly:
'Now, sir, you may accompany this lady
homer
With bow he takes his leave, and the
woman who loves him never hears his voice
again.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-07-18
The Sample Room.
BY VIRGINIA ]. KENT.

Samples of wine and samples of beer;
SAMPLES Of all kinds Of liquor sold here;
Samples Of whisky. samples Of gin;
Samples of all kinds of bitters. Step In:
Samples Of ale and porter and brandy;
Samples as large as you please and quite
Our samples are pure, and also you'll ind
our customers alway genteel and refined;
For gentlemen know when they've taken
enough
And never partake Of common stuff.
Besides these samples within, you knowe
There are samples without Of whatwe can do:
Samples Of headache, samples Of gout,
Samples OF coats with the elbows out;
Samples of boots without heels or toes;
Samples OF men with broken nose
Samples OF men in the gutter lying;
Samples OF men with delirium dying.
Samples of men cursing and swearing;
Samples Of men OF evil daring:
Samples of lonely, tired men,
Who long In vain for their freedom again;
Samples Of old men, worn in the strife;
Samples Of young men, tired of life;
Samples Of ruined hopes and lives;
Samples Of desOlats homes and wives;
Samples Of aching hearts grown cold
With anguish and misery untold;
Samples of noble youth in disgrace,
Who meet you with averted face;
Samples Of hungry little ones,
Starving to death in their dreary homes
In fact, there is scarcely q woe on earth
But our samples have nutured or given
birth
o all ye helpers to sorrow and crime!
Who deal out death for single dime,
Know We that the Lord, though he may delay,
Has in reserve for the last great day
The terrible "wOe,' OF whose solemn weight
No mortal can know till the pearly gate
Is closed, and all with one accord
Acknowledge the justice OF their reward.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1879-07-18
Small Shot.

As the weather grows warmer the man
who edits the society column grows worse.
1t has been suggested that although
Britannia rules the waters she has not a
good grip on all the soda water fountains.
Herald.
A fashionable girl is like the Fourth, we
are panied to learn from the Philadelphia
Bulletin, because she is known by her loud
bang.
The Detroit Free Press says you can hear
the corn boom if you listen. Yes, and you
can see it stalk along if you will only
watch it.-Al5Gny Argus.
An old barn in the mountain section Of
North Carolina, calling itself college,
and run by people who had better be
'sworming tobacco, s" has conferred the de-
gree Of D. d. upon village insurance
agent.-RichBlOHd Christian advocate.
A wife at Portland, Me-, calls her hus-
band home nights by firing a sky-rOckel
from the roof Of the house. When the
rocket goes up, he goes for home.-EE
In most cases the fireworks are not set of
un.il after he gets home.
The Chicago Times wants to know what
Ohio man took Adams place when Adam
was bounced. Why, sir, William Allen, Of
course. - Buffalo Express. Now you
might set yourself 70 work answering, the
conundrum, who will take William Aliens
place? ~
one hundred and thirteen cats, and heI
neirhbors never utter word Of complaint
! This is because she has no neighbors.
They are camping out in the woods, and
real estate in the neighhOrhOod Of Sarah''
premises can be bought for song. 1t j:
quite likely that a nitro-glyeerine factory
will be established next door TO the cal
foundry.-NOrr. Herald.
The Cincinnati Enquirer has this: Tit
| New York Sun wants candidates for Pres
Il idents to announce their names through
| the newspapers, the same as the candidates
/ for Township Trustee, City Marshal, &c
| Evidently the Sun did not stop to thlnB
| how it would look. For instance; "MR
EDIToR-Please announce my name as
candidate for President Of the United
states in 1880, subject the decision Of thl
Republican National Convention.
a2eStpd." JOIN SHERNAN.