Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1879-05-28
Humor.

People never live to a very ola
In your state, said a man to = 80 age
OF Texas. "No-no,"was the renlv uehi
they probably would if they got t Ga'
A clearinghouse mistress. Ike ;,
rest of us, has her weak and ue|
points,-the weak being her coffao O
her strong point the butter. aug
A picture Of despair-a pig reaot.
through a hole in the fence to oct
bage that lies a few inches beyonS
reach. @s
A hotel landlord in California @.
the expense OF a going by keen;nn
dog. The weight of the Landlord
the dogs tail causes the animal 10 bo y
sufficiently loud to awaken ali i%a
guests. T
There is a man in the west who :.
moved so often that when a covered Wv
gon comes near his house, the chicssn,
fall on their backs and cross their Ia
ready to be tied and carried to the nss'
stopping place.
Glow well he plays for one so yopoo .
said Mrs. Darlington, as an organ.Sn,u
performed with a monkey near ,ba
door; land how much his little broth !.
looks like him, to be sure"
When an old backwoodsman was abo,.
to take his first ride on a Mississinn;
steamer, he was asked whether III
would take deck or cabin PASSAGE
Well" SAID he, in a resigned Sort =
way, five lived all my life in a CABIN
and | guess cabin passage will be Food
enough for a rough chap like me-"
They tell a story about a man out wesl
who had a hare lip, upon which he per]
formed an operation himself by insert
ing a piece of chicken flesh. 1t adbered
and filled up the place admirably. Tbi]
was well enough until, in compliance
with the fashion, he undertook to raisd
a moustache, when one side grew han
and the other feathers.
A short-sighted man went to an opl
tician's to change his glasses, which werd
not strong enough. After he had gotten
the right ones he asked, "What numbe
must [ wear after these cease to
strong enough?" "This one said tn
~optician, showing him another pair
"And after that? ?" "This." sand
after that" "Aher that after that
You'll need a little dog and a string"
A Chinese laundryman presented hi
bill TO a young citizen yesterday, with
the remark: "Payee billee, or no mor)
washee." "Can't do it, John" "Whye1
no payee." "The Chinese bill is ve
toed, john" was the reply. "Th(
President vetoed the bill some timd
ago." "Helle President billee. and you
no payee; dance suee President" And
John started off determined to get somd
process to garnishee President Hayes
wages for the amount of the wash bill
Oil City Perrick.
1.-THE vile, abominable literature thai
is %polluting the minds of our boys and
girls" wrote the Bugk editor, sis a pub
lie disgrace, and - by the way, JUDI
kinson," said he, stopping short in hj
able editorial and turning to the local
editor, 'be sure you have the full par
ticulars of that divorce scandal in East
Biggleston;the Whangdoodk mustn't gel
the bulge on us this time. Let me see
where was |? Oh! yes-public disgrace
and should be suppressed by the strong
arm of the law. Many a youth owns
his downfall to the-be sure YOU inter
view both the parties, Judklnson, and
make it spicy, you know"
On a quiet day in leafy June, whe1
bees and birds were all in tune, Iw1
lovers walked beneath the moon. iha
night was fair, so was the mad; 'he9
walked and talked beneath the SHADE
with none to harm or make AFRAID ne1
name was Sue, and his was jim; ana n9
was fat and she was slim. be tooS y
her, and she to HIM. Says jim to pug
"By all the snakes that squlrm anon
the bush and brakes, | love you oe'tsl
buckwheat cakes" Says Sue 10 Jun
"Since you've begun it, and been An
come and gone and done it, ike !v
next to a new bonnet" Says jim !
Sue, "My heart you've busted, but
ways gals mistrusted." Says Que
Jim, ~ will be true; if you love mes
l love you, no knife can cut our lo,e
two" Says Jim to Sue, Through .nn
and thin, for your true love conn' !"
in; I'll court no other gal agin:. 'G
leaned to Sue, Sue leaned to jim Con-
nose Just touched her jockey br'm IUu
lips met-went ahem! ahem! anu Is
and then-and then-then;
beware Of men in June, ana I'M and
meath the silver moon, when iros' nn1
crickets are in tune, lest you se'
names in the paper o
IA