The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1879-08-14
TERMS $500 PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE.

the Greenback heifer into common pasture,
and then both spoon out of the same dish.
Amid this gaunt, hungry, uproarious crew,
manfully stood up Messrs Todd, Chase, Eaton,
Clark, Hull and others and solemnly protested
against being sold out to the old pro-slavery
rum-ridden Democracy. They declared they
had no desire to go into partnership with par
ty of old, spawned, half-hipped, gone-to-seed
politicians.
But it was no use. A majority of that con-
vention had their coat-tails labelled, "Hunker
Democracy" They gave tremendous ''rebel
yell accompanied by the stamping of cow
hide boots and the waving OF hats, and Goa
lition was carried, and every Greenbacker In
that convention who wore the "blue" went in-
gloriously down before the storm of battle.
Then came the "trade and dicker" opera
tions by conference committees. The Boss Of
the Democratic committee was a little sly,
crafty, oily politician, wearing white hat,
who was the chief engineer OF the old Whig
machine until it went to smash, and who then
turned bunker and has since grown gray in
studying schemes and plans to get his old ad-
versaries out of the slough of despond." He
was the man to swallow the Greenbackers, and
do it with such grace and adroitness that they
could hardly tell whether the whale was swal-
lowing Jonah, or Jonah swallowing the whale.
And so the high contracting PARTIES began
to make their moves upon the political check
er board. The Colonel with the "white hat
began the "dickering'. "Tis true" said he,
'that the office of Judge of Probate, has more
money and more dignity thad any other office;
but it is entirely non partisan. 1t 10 now filed
by our amiable Nathan, and il you poke
sticks at him, we kick"
"But," says Caleb, 81 would like that Office
myself. l tried to get it four years ago, but
the Republicans had no proper appreciation of
my abilities, and squelched me. then left the
old ark took a small boat of my own, and
fetched up in the bull-rnshes among the Green
hackers" "Hold on a bit, Caleb" cried the
Colonel, at the same time giving him sly
wink of the eye, Don't you know we are go
ing. to make you Register, and then under the
civil service reform you will be on the high
road to the Judgeshfp." CAN right, Colonel"
said Caleb. ''I must have something or bust, so
/ cave in
"But," says one of the Greenback commit
tee men, "what are you going to do with the
venerable Bradbury. He is by usage entitled
to denomination, and declares he won't be
sold OUT
''Turn the old hoss out to grass, we have
stall-fed him long enough" cried one of the
ColonePs colleagues. So the good old mans
head went under the ice.
The two committees then turned 'heads and
tails' on Senators and divided up even.
The "Board of trade" then struck the Coun-
ty Commissioners berth. 1--WE magnanimous-
ly yield it, cried the Colonel But" said one
of the bunker members, 1--WE can't swallow
Joe; that Is an allopathic dose we never will
thhc. llOiu urOtucT, IcSpOhucu 0iCoh-
baeker, 1--WE promise you Joseph's red head in
charger, only give us the office" The pledge
was redeemed; for when the Greenback Con-
vention finally voted, Joseph's head rolled on
the chopping block-he got only two votes
"We don't claim the County Treasurer" said
Greenbacker, "let Joshua have it, he is
good fellow" Gentlemen" said the Colonel
''it is no use to bother about that place, for
that one-legged soldier out at Deering will
weave Webb that will hang any man
we can put on the ticket high as Haman. Let
Greenbacker be licked?' And the Coloners
suggestion was adopted mem. con.
When the Board came to the County Attor-
ney there was magnificent fight. "We never
will yield that place; we can't do ii; We 'front.'
do it," vociferated Greenbacker. "a major
ity of our men are Maine law men and never
will eat crow by voting for q rum Democrat"
AT this point stalwart Democrat, straight
ening himself up to his full height and bring
death maui, roared out, "That Office belongs
to us; we will have it or fight; we have dry
constituency behind us, who demand liberty or
DEATH" There was silence for about minute
when Caleb said he "guessed the Greenbackers
had better throw up the SPONGE" But ma
jority of the committee said they should stick
When they reported this to their Convention
a majority repudiated their own committee,
and, like crawling sycophants, covered before
the threats of the hunkers and most vocifer-
ously ''hooted' the thing carried.
The bargain and sale were ratified by both
Conventions and the country is safe. la
The Democrats carried off the 'smoose" in
triumph, while the poor Greenbackers will
wake up to find themselves "skunked"
JOHN SMITH Sd.