The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-09-24

The very small boy is usually stagserer
for any philosopher. The Newark CGU says
little Willie Warren is boy Of this sort.
He is a very small boy, just beyond the lim-
it's Of babybood. His precociousness is well
recognized by those that know him, and
sometimes people try to corner him in
logical way. The other day some one took
him up and asked him if he was papa's boy.
He answered Eyes, land are you MAN.
mas boy, 1907" Yes" replied Charley.
/" Well, how can you be papa's boy and
mammals boy both at the same time?" was
asked him. "Oh," replied Charley, indif.
ferently, 'tcdn'ta wagon have two horses :"
That settled his questioner.
To the Marquis of Lornc: Dear sir, do
not let William Evarts get started on one o!
his long sentences; il you do it will not
be completed when he has to say goodbye,
and Il very long correspondence will neces-
sarily ensue. Choke him off, noble sir d!
choke him off, Instruct the Princess to in
terrupt him. Have guns fired to stop him
at the first comma, and have the bells ring
and the drums beat as soon IL he reaches
period. Reject this warning at your peril.
Heed it and be happy.-Butalo Express.
The eloquent counsel Maitre Y. recently
apDeared at the aSsiZes to defend a prisoner,
aud delivered an Grafton as long as the
Mont Gents tunnel and as dry as dust.
When he had concluded the jury were
aroused from their sIumbers and charged,
and presently brought in avcrdct Of guilty.
With pleasant smile the presiding Judge
then sentenced The prisoner to fifteen years
Imprisonment at hard labor, the time spent
in listening to bis counsel's argument to be
counted as part Of the punishment!
There was parochial school in remote
muirland district OF southern Scotch
county at which the attendance had from
various causes at one time dwindlcd down
to single self-reliant boy, and one after
noon, in lull of school work. the little
fellow looked up with a reflective air and
said: "MaiSter, think the schule'll no be
in the MORN" "What puts that in your
head, sir?" baughtily inquired the master,
to which the Gallant Immediately replied
" Because I'll no be here !"
"Truly," said NJ. Skimple, "when Gre
ditors come to dun you they so completely
feel the diShonoring character OF their mis-
sion that they have to invent the most
shameless and eXtravagant excuses !or
you-such as their Threatened iii-
solyency, sickness and increased expense IN
the family, and so on. Why, actually one
fellow came and dunncd me for some mo-
new because Ire was being pressed ZOE pay
mept Of the court-fees and 4 retainer Dythe
lawyer he had employed to sue me-
There was great excitement in front OF
q fruit commission house on south water
street q little after O'Clock yesterday after
noon. A party OF dealers oVerhaullng ana
large LOT OF peaches which
had lust arrived i'll the market discovered
one basket with the fruit just as good at the
bottom as the top. The error was soon rec
titled and quiet restored.-Chicago Jour-
,ssl.
A gentleman having mounted fortbe first
tiGe pair OF ye-glasses, an old friend re-
marked. $50 you have come to eyeglasses
at isst 7" "WelL ges-I put them on oc-
was the reply. "Eses begin
ning to fail you, eh?'7 t'No, not at all. |
My eyes are just as good as they Were when |
wasas boy, but don't think the light is
as gooG-"
An hsshman requested Postmaster Mayo |
to superscribe letter to his brother re- |
Gently. ''And where shall direct it to ?"
said the official. "Be iabers, don't know |
1t all; but they told me you had a book gith |
every poSL-offlce in America in it, so they |
I'D p Tanners Falls Reporter.
ct rather sisturbs the unities for lover
o hear his girl talk about ethereallzed
RIGS dshil, the gossaTer wings Of love, the
hin end permesbIe texture OF affection, and |
hat sort OF thing and then see her sit down
nd eat big piece OF roast beef, four bis
;uits, aed an appfe-pie. SteabenviNe Her,
ia. .,..:. L. -.
"a man on Arbor Hill last evening aimed
gun at his little. son Ia beautiful creature
With golden hair TO his .waist). and play
uily thr eatened to shoot him. The gun
nrned oct to be unloaded. 1t will be /,
laced In the State Library, as The only :
eeapon Of The kind known to American
unnery. Asbaay Journal. . /