Smyrna times., 1879-03-12

II always our frugal dinners
Were seasoned with kiss
The Mule.
The mule is the only animal that Noah
didn't take into the ark with him. | have
looked over the freight list carefully, and
could not see a mule way-billed for any
place. So clear-headed a man as Noah did |
not dare to take one on board, as he knew
he would kick a hole through her in less
than a week. l don't know man on |
whose head you could pour quicksilver and |
run less risk of it spilling off than on
Noah's. He was dreadfully level-headed |
man, and before the freshet was over every |
body on earth realized the fact.
The origin of the mule is enveloped in a
good deal Of mystery. Tradition informs
US that when the flood had subsided, and
the ark had laid oil Mount Arrarat, Noah
was very much surprised in one Of his OBJ
servations to find good, healthy mule
standing on the top of an adjoining noun.
tain. The same tradition informs US that
the mule is the only animal that lived
through the flood outside the ark.
The mule can he considered in good
many ways, though the worst place to con
slider him IS directly from behind, any
where within a radius of ten feet. never
consider a mule from that point unless |
am looking out through the fue OF boiler.
The word mule comes from the Greek
and signifies "to stop and the mule him
self comes to a stop also. Like multiplied
by like produces like. Grasshoppers mul.
tipl!ed by grasshoppers produce u famine,
and potato bugs multiplied by potato bugs
produce rise in the price of yeast But
when you Try to multiply mules they don't
multiply, and hence the word mule You
may study your arithmetic, and read through
all Of Trains lectures, but you can't dis.
cover why that is so any more than you
could why woman cannot put on rub,
Der without leaning up against something.
; The mule has one more leg than a milk
ing stool, and he can stand on one and wave
the other three around in as many different
directions. He has only three senses, hear.
ing seeing and smelling. lie has no more
sense to taste than a stone jug, and will eat
! anything that contains nutriment, and he
don't care two cents whether it be one pei
cent. or ninety-nine. All he asks is to pas:
= him along his plate, with whatever hap
pens to be handy round the pantry, and he
= won't 60 away and blow how poor the steal
is. He just eats whatever is set before him
and asks no questions.
> If | were to have large picture of limo
Il cence to hang up in my parlor, and l die
! not wish to sit for it myself, | should get
correct likeness of a mule. There is limo
: cence enough depicted in a mules counte
v nance to fit out a Sunday school class.
u looks as guileless as an angle worm.
L A mule never grows old or dies. Ono
- brought into existence he continues on for
y ever. The original mule is now aliv
g somewhere in the South, and is name,
e Robert Toombs, because he is so stubborn
y Mules are chiefly found in the South an
: West. They have been more abused tha
= Judas Iscariot. A boy who would no
y throw a stone at mule when he got
~ chance would be considered by his parent
;e too mean to raise.
The mule is a good worker, but he car
~ not be depended on. He is liable to strik,
N and when a mules strikes human calcul
III ton fails to find out any rule by which I
P reckon when he will go to work again.
10 is useless to pound him, for he will stan
ne more beating than a sittingroom carpe
ny He has been known to stand eleven days
az one place, apparently thinking of som
eu thing, and then start off again as thoug
er nothing had happened.
IN Down South, when they have a surp
NY of small darkeys on the plantation, tn
ne send them out into the barnyard to pl
DIS where there is loose mule. They alwa
''y bid them goodby whom they start out,
ne they are sure the parting will be fin
ne This is the most economical style of funel
Oh now in market.
MS To fully appreciate the mule one shou
ne listen to his voice. You never can real
IL know whether you like a mule or not [
ust you have heard him sing. l attended
nd mule concert at Fort Smelling. The pl
ar gramme opened with soprano solo, al
.he then swung into duet, and then pranc
I'm off into trio, followed up by quart
= and ending with full chorus, Of o
hundred and fifty mules. l didn't he
vas the whole thing, for when | came too, I
list regimental surgeon was standing over
lde giving me powerful restoratives, and
,en heard him say that l might possibly
rly out again, though l would never be a W
man. l have been through the N