Daily Republican., 1879-02-27
HUMOROUS.

in to buy present for his girl las,
week. His wondering gaze being fixed
by the gorgeous display in dry goods
window, he entered the store and bash.
fully stopped in front Of pretty young
lady behind the counter. "How much
are thosei" he inquired, pointing to a
pair Of handsomely-wrought nickel.
plated garters in the window. "Seven-
ty-fve cents" replied the young lady,
sweetly handing out the articles in
question and blushing slightly. ~
think they are kinder pretty, don't
you'" inquired the young man, anxious
for somebody's elss's opinion. VERY"
replied the young miss; "they are the
latest STYLE" Everybody wears them,
don't they :" continued the young
man. "Almost everybody" said
the young lady, effecting an I'M
concerned air. II was goin' to get
them for girl that l know" said the
young man, somewhat nervously.
"Don't you think she would like them"'
81 should think she might don't
know" returned the young lady,
blushing again. "Well don't know
myself" said the young man, picking
up one Of the dainty articles and exam.
lining it closely. 'You don't suppose
they are too large lido you''"Why,
IL" stsmmersd the young lady,
the blush growing deeper. "They
seem sorter big like" continued the
Young man, mot observing her confusion,
"but, of course, | wouldn't be certain.
"She's middlin' size, but not very fat,
aud mebbe, these would be q little toe
close. should think she was just
about y our bigness' an II these would
fit you, of course they'd fit her. Now,
just suppose yoa try them on an if"
"Sir!" exclaimed the young lady be-
hind the counter in am awful voice
that lifted tho young mans hat on the
end of his hair, ''you are insulting" "
and she swept away to the rear of the
store, leaving the bewildered yoEng
man standiag in dumb amazement,
holding in his hands wkat he supposed
was beautiful pair 1T bracelets; and
when one of the men clerks came and ex-
planned his mistake, the young man
from the back town struck direct line
tor his team, and in a very brief space
of time YVES tearing toward home at a
rate that threatened TO irretrevably
ruin the cid family morse. He won't
buy any bracelets now until he is mar
ried.
THg ADVANTAGE ~ lT.--Thc day had
been set, and the yeung man was hap
py. But his father failed in business,
and h- collected all the pink lovs let
ters, the lock Of hair, the faded violet,
ETC., sud started for her fathers man
sion. He was high minded and honor
able, and hefelt in duty bound to re-
lease her from the engagement. Yet he
grew faint as he was ushered into the
pasior. Such love az his wouldn't stay
crushed.
George dear George ~ she .x.
claimed as she entered the parlor and
seized his hand.
"Arabella, sm here to do my duty
he said, as he rose up.
+W what's the natter" she asked.
"H-haven't you heard of-of my faith
er's failure'" he inquired, his heart
beating painfully.
why, yes, dear, and what Of itt'
"Aren't you-won't you--that is"
81 am glad of IT, that's all,n she
cried.
'You are'"'
-'Of courseI am. was talking with
father, and he said If your father fail
ed for S60.000 he'd made at least $50,-
coo out of it, and, of course you'll get
twice as much as you counted on ~
During the rebellion an Austrian
coalnt applied to President Lincoln for
position in the army. Being intro
duoed by the Austrian Minister, he
needed Uf course, no further recommen-
dation ; hut, as if fearing that his inn
portance might not be dulyiappreciated
he proceeded to explain that he was
coslnt, that his family were ancient and
highly respectable when Lincoln with
merry twinkle in his eye, tapping the
aristocratic lover of titles on the shoul-
der in fatherly way, as if the man
had confessed to some wrong, Interrupt
ted in soothing tone "Never mind,
you shall be treated with just as much
consideration for all that"
whats year first name, hub ?" in
quired a man of the Industrious Arab,
who was putting polish on his boots.
Mark" replied the boy.
'4iuess you won't live a great while,
then" returned the man.
"What makes yer think SO, cap ~
queried the gamin.
because Death loves shining
mark, you know
The boy said he reckonsd he'd last
till his blackin' WAS gone, anyhow.
Girls, if you want to encourage young
men, get an album. It's the first thing
a bashful young man grabs when he
enters strange house where there are
girls. We've seen them look through
one until they knew every picture by
heart, from page one to General Grant
in the back part. It's wonderful what
interest a bashful man will take in a
girls grandmother and pug-nosed
uncle at the first visit, but it's always
80. Get 'em, girls. It's the best thing
in the world to occupy fellows hands,
and it's sure cure for bashfulness.
A very old lady, on her deathbed
N penitential mood said 81 have been
\ great sinner more than eighty years,
and didn't know it," An old darkey
who had lived with her long
lime exclaimed: "Lord knOwed it all
he time"
Revenge is sweet" young man; but
lOn't tackle fellow that weighs more
han you, or you'll never know where
he sweet part of the thing comes in.