The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1879-04-23
About Offers

Oue ol tlS EuO5t eAcitIuS tuesL0ub
that enc girl can ask another is that
concerning the numberard msaner of
the offers Of marriage sbe has receiv-
ed Through such que, itns few
general conclusions have been reach
ed namely, that every isDsle human
has oae, every ordinary agreeable
female human has from 50 10 four,
every extraordinarily lsseeshe fe-
male human from four to eight also
under rarely fayoriHg e0nditi as of
wealth, beauty, esprit. SC, male
humans may average twt re nder
normal condiuols beauty is a slight
factor compared with manner. The
following fragments ola conversation
between three girls, who met togeth-
er for the pnrpose of relating some Of
rtheir experiences, may snbstantiate
these averages;
"We must begin,n said Graceanna,
pathe:icaliy. You, Lou, were %
first. Make your story ten minutes
long at least, while | am consoling
myself with this 'bonne bOuche.' A
new piece of candy be bought every
ten minutes, allowing Eve minutes
for consumption and FIVE for rest
How many offers have you bad !?
Why are y0u not married. Lou Par
kergn
Because | never had an oifer."
The her girls gave q low whistle
of establishment, driven by this unex-
peeted avowal into masculine demon.
stration Leu blushed and looked
Extremely guilty, and the tears al
most came, as she exclaimed, halting
between the words, 'I-really could
not-help-it," and then animated by a
sudden impulse CT selfrespect, added,
81 don't think is is nice to have Of
fsrs. / should not want any man TO
come near enough to NE 10 love me,
unless ] loved him."
"How can you ever tell thut you
should like any one until be has told
you, right up and down ~ asked
Maggie, the other friend.
1--WE both should feel it, if we did
like each ether ii would somehow
betray ITSELF Nv husband must be
my only lover"
IL don't believe you'll ever have
one, and such lofty ideas make ordi-
nary people seem wicked. l feel per-
ssnally insulted. Why, | have had
oh, beg pardon, it is not my
turn"
"Yes it is, said Lou, thankful for
u chance to escape; tell all you
can"
81 have had two whole aud two
half ones. 1t seems too bad 10 let
two Of them to make guys OF them
selves, because one was a BROTHER OF
q friend at wbose house | have CAPT
tai times {; so it would have been very
inconvenient And the other was q
minister, and / thought if be got dis.
eoursged early, it might affect his
| preaching now be takes SO many
texts from Solomon's Songs that bis
sermons are poetical, and don't make
people feel that they are miserable
sinners. Individual love and univer-
sal love get mixed up in them, and
you can't tell which is best if you
love an individual you are just as
sanity as if you loved the Cosmos
alone. So | .old them both that
was prejudiced against marrying, and
hated love making, and that when /
loved man | would let him know ii
plaiDly.n
"Then you don't like me ?n said
my little minister.
mo, / don't,r told him. And
then we both laughed, and he looked
es if be had saved himself from jump
ing or q precipice. The other-he
is real splendid man--looked me
square in the eyes, saying, in such a
grave way, eli you mean what you
say. Miss Jones, | thank you 81
do" said /, as solemnly as an old
saint. But now | wish | had let it
come to the point, because he is the
best of the whole, and it is disgrace
fui to be twenty-five and not even en-
gagged. He went out to India soon
after, 80 | am sure he did like me" /"
She drew long breath, and took the
biggest piece of candy.
What did the other two do p
questioned the other two girls eager
lly.
"0b, they were everyday kind Of
Affairs. One was in walking; my
gentleman plucked some white-weed
and talked nonsense all the way
about his peculiar nature, and how
mine suited his and pulled the flow
er to pieces, counting I; sSie liebt
mich, sic liebt nicht,r and held it to
me as be came to the last petal.