Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-01-31
liunlor'.
What did billet doux s


slay-ride,
Strange, hut they don't reap the ice
harvest with ieioleS.
A boy who was spanked said tho sem
satlon was thrilling 10 ali extreme.
Games Of chance would not 30 10
awful naughty ii n man could win
every time.
Garlic is said to hea sovereign remedy
for gout, There is no remedy for
tgarlie.
That boy viii mako his mark iii the
world some day" said Il parent Of his
dullest child 81 he did. Ho never
learned q write.
"Bredren,n said darby in u prayer
meeting, IL feels il could talk more
good in five minutes dan could do ira
year,
1t takes " fellow who has been kicked
oil the front stoophy the irato parent Of
his girl to tell the story of the Missile
toe.
Tho alteration ot golden calves has
gone cut of fashion, and the average
calf.worshiper now raves about those
oncaSed IN pink silk,
Ii is u great shock toa mans nervous
system TO have experimentation fly
otl just rs he is shaking y profound bow
to lady On tho street.
Struggling journals should hold on
Just little longer, raniors are 10 hc
worn again, and the Increased demand
for newspapers will ho very great,
Says an exchange. Even small bows
carry arms in this town. Awful, amt
it? Even the little flowers carry pisnls
in this wicked city ktokuk ConNttu.
ton.
A young lady said TO her lover;
"Charley, how Mrlsit round tho world H.
About twenty-lour inches, my dar-
ling" replied be, us his arm enoircled
her waist.
Annie Moore's gnno away tn got married,
And her loss we deeply deplore;
Mong hosts nf Friends here long she mrrled
Hut sho u never come back Aanle Moore,
The saddest time, we think, in a young
mans hfo is when his girl writes To HIM
that she wants her old letters, and that
ho can have his tiltycont diamond ear
rings upon application.
We no longer question tho propriety
OF considering vessels III tho feminine
gender. They run each other down
almost every dry in tho English Chan
mol. Turner'S Falls Reporter.
II has been suggested thai ox.Secro-
tary Fish, the Prince Of Wales, and our
own Mullet should he appointed il COM
mission to settle the ycXatious fishery
question.
Tho Danbury Meas has nscortaincd
that Paris green did not exactly kill the
potato bugs, but il 80 seriously inquired
thoir intellect that they have Como 10
eating Canada thistles.
Said railroad engineer to mn Irish.
man whose COW had boon killed /" But
she didn't get out Of tic way when |
rang tho bell" Gath, thin" said
Pat, Eye dida't shtop whin she rang
her bell, naythur."
An aristocrat, whose family had rath.
cr run down, bpasling to prosperous
tradesman of his ancestors, tho latter
said: You are proud Of your dos
cent. am on the opposite tack, and
feel proud Of my ascent.
When man going home to dinner
sees u carpet on u line in tho back yard,
he regards itas an otl.shore "cautionary
signal, and sneaks downtown and buys
4 soda-cracker lunch NJ tho corner
grocery.
:" 1t is NIL very WE'LL" said henpeck-
ed husband, when told TO look after the
children; its all very well TO toll me
to mind the youngsters, but j. would
suit me better if the youngsters would
mind me"
When n dog snaps nj fly thai hns
been fooling round him four or five
hours and misses II, he feels just like il
girl who pours the full tide OF her alice
ton over young man and suddenly
discovers That IL won't soak in.
A New Hampshire man got up To
light lamp and fell down dead. Read
ers will bear witness that We have NJ
ways pointed out That this getting up
NJ night is u mans wife's business. Be-
hold tho terrible justification Of our
course, - Eachungc.
An Irish gentleman having purehas-
Cd an alarm.clock, an acquaintance
asked him what he intended 10 do with
IL. Och" answered he, "sure I've
noLhing TO do but pull the string and
wake myself.
A msers character described in two
lines You who arc acquainted with
Mr.. ~, can you tell mo the reason why,
being so rich, he always takes third
class passage TO 20 TO his yilla2" ooh,
il il very simple II is because there is
no fourth-class."
A little girl visiting u neighbor with
her mother was gazing curIously at the
hosts new bonnet, when the owner
queried, "Do you like it, Laura2' The
innocent replied, "Why, mother said
il was perfect flight, bat II don't scare
me-" Lauras mother didn't stay long.
The proprietor Of building site in
Wisconsin advcrtises his land for salc in
this wise: "'rbe town Of Poggis and
surrounding country is the most beau
tilul which nature ever made. The
scenery is celestial; also two wagons
and q yoke Of steers"