The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1879-11-21
COMlCALIrIEs.
WHOM the gods love die hung.

PRovRBB In Paris-Worth makes
women.
A French novel Ii usually q story
with an immoral.
The season for mince pie and midnight
visions Ii at hand.
IT doesn't reeuire q blacksmith TO
rivet one's attention.
TIE man who sits on o bent pin Is apt
70 speak TO the point.
CATE have NO fxed political belief.
They're usually ON the fence.
As q fy-catcher Jack Frost outranks
any base ball player In the country.
TIE illicit distiller down south thinks
1t is the early revenue officer who catch.
es the worm.
IT always makes Q young man crazy
to have his mother propose to buy his
clothes for him.
THE clothes pin protects the clothes
from the winds fury and the wind makes
the clothes pin.
AS q pedestrian the poodle IL not q
success. He has been known to spend
three hours In one lap.
IF death loves q shining mark, why
isn't the mortality greater among the
bootblacksf-CincinnnG Enquirer.
"CUT and come again." as the girl
said to her lover when she heard the old
man stumbling around in the dark.
IT isn't pleasant for man in delicate
kid gloves TO grasps door knob just after
it has been turned by man in search Of
towel.
TIE under dog in fight deserves no
pity. He will pitch into q smaller dog
than himself the moment ne gets a
chance.
"No news is good news" says an old
proverb, which accounts for the fact
that some publications are rated as good
newspapers.
A MAN that is .hissed by q crowd for
having > "brick in his hst" must feel
wonderfully mortar-fed.- ! onkers States.
man.
IT was baker who in response to the
admonition, eco west young man; 90
west" replied that he proposed to stick
to the yeast.
"WHAT are the best storiesr "That
depends. When you are telling them
the long ones are; when you are listen
ing, the short ones.
MorRER-"Now, Emma, what is the
tenth commandment" Emma, aged
five" The same as it was last Sunday"
baltimore Bulletin.
The New Orleans Picayune says the
man who has been brought up on hog
and hominy is the man who wants quail
on toast when he strikes hotel.
A FEMALE witness in the Edinburgh
police court, on being asked what was
her husbands profession, answered
promptly, "My huiband Is bankrupt,
sir"
% No sooner does the housewife rip up
her husbands summer duck suit for
towels then there comes around q warm
spell-and few scriptural illusions on
his part.
A DETROIT woman offers q reward of
$500 to any person who ever saw man
sit in front Of q fire place over fifteen
minutes without poking up the Goals or
splitting on them.
STUDENT (fresh from college, to con-
ductor)-"I wish to get on the penulti-
mate car" Conductor We have no
peanut car; you can take the smoker"
tNutually Disguised.
THE only jokes women like to read
are those which reflect ridicule upon
men," eyes" says q contemporary,
con taking up paper a woman invaria-
bly, turns to the marriage column"
A CoMfREHENs1vE Scotch school in
spector asked an Aberdeen class If any
one could tell him anything remarkable
in the life of Moses. Boys: eyes, sir.
He was the only man who broke all the
commandments at once.
Now the aged liar is happy again.
He can sit around in the corner grocery,
white the sugar and salt barrels and
lie about the heavy snow storms they
used to have early in August when he
was a boy.-Oa City Derrick.
ENToMoLoGICALLY speaking, the but
terfiy gets up from his grub and floats
through the air with the greatest of ease.
Physiologically speaking, the boy makes
the butter fly by putting II down with
his grub with the greatest OF grease.
BRIGHT young man in restaurant
making out an order for supplies, writes
BOLOGNA" "Jack." says bystander,
"why don't you omit 'og' from that
word and save ink" Because" was
the quick reply, "that would be leaving
out two-thirds of the hog"
A NEW sentimental song Is entitled,
"Tell Me to Lite in Your Soul, Love-"
Wen do it. There's nothing mean
about us. Come right along and live In
it. High stoop, stone front, basement
dining room, hot aud cold water on every
floor, and a telephone in the sitting
room. Rent $2S per month, invariably
in advance; references. But why did
you leave your last Soul-Eacha"9c.
THREE old gentlemen are sitting
around a table ON q steamboat, waiting to
let another party to play q game OF cards.
Presently. they espy nice looking yong
fellow. 0ne old party goes up to him
and says: "Pardou HE young man; we
want somebody to join US in game OF
cards; would be happy to have you with
U.S." Thanks, l never play cards.
Take drink with usf' "Thanks, !
meter drink. DWELL, have q cigar"
L" Thanks, / never smoke" "Ehf Now
rather like that in young man. Come
into the cabin and I'll introduce you to
my wife and daughters" "Thsnks,
said that demure young man; I" shall
never marry"