, 1879-10-11
THE PARD'S EPISTLE.
Ze Takes up hiS Abode af fhe Palace with
Gen. Grant.
THE PALACE TAvIgy, Sept. 2l, Is,

| Old son II IN putin up IN the biggest
shebang in the world. Tn bunkin' in the
/ hightonedest tavern in Californy-up seven
stops Of slidin' machine they calls an ele,
vator. The fust time slid up IN this yer
elevator it nearly took my breath away.
/ didn't know We was on the rise I'll we'd
started, an afore got over my skeer we'd
! landed on the top story Them elevators is
a big thing, Bill Then there's the niggers,
/ Bill, tibet hands We round through the tavern.
| FL yer chawin terbacker, an wants 10 get
/ rid o Yer cud, ther'S Niger right alongside
: ItiJ spittoOn. Wen We want 4 cocktail, all
we've got ter do Is Ter w'Istie fur Il nigger
an he fetches 1t ter We on a tin plate. Fl
It's grub time. an We don't know the way 10
to the hashery, Tiers Niger er two ter
pilot We an another 10 shove a cheer at
ye. Ez soon's yer fairly planted niger
fetches on the soup, an afore ye've he'd \
chance to wink twice arter ye've got away
18th the soup another nigger shoves fish at
ye; then We wait minute, an along comes
the beef, or some other kind o meat, and so
on til We wind mp 'ith coffee, an cakes. an
nuts an fruit, an gimeracks. | tell We
wat it is, Bill, Tn stuck arter them niss {:
ther' the perlitest roOsters | ever see.
b'lieve they'd eat fur We if ye'd ask them.
| tell ye wat it is, Bill, they're heavy on
style round this yer house an no mistake.
Wash bowls to wash yer hands in brought
to the table by niggers. an little fowls to
wipe Yer fingers on stuck round at ev'ry
plate. | never see secb high tone In all my
born days. Even Phil RagIin's place amt a
patchIn' to 1t fur genooine up an up dog.
An the wimmin, Bill ! None o the wash
house Nenuses In this yer tavern, much
Reg lar out an out thoroughbreds, Bill, sech
Ell We read about. Silks. an satins, an lia-
mons til We can't rest an purty Bill,
purity amt no name fur the gorseousness o
these Yer females | wish the widder could
git acquainted 'ith some of 'em an lay fur
few pints-l b'lieve | ii perpose matterimony
to her ef she'd gear up like these yer tiilies
Me an Grants boardin' in this yer tavern
together Grants more distinguished n |
am, an more niggers waits on him, but he
don't git away 18th more grub n | do, an |
reckon don't sleep no sounder. I've man
aged ter git in 4 word OF two edgcways 'ith
the OF man bout ol times an, | guess he'll
take run up your way purity soon. He's
goin' to Yosemite, an he'll mos likely take
in Knights Ferry an Sonora on the way
You tellers oughter give him a reception like
We did down here. Couldn't We git Dan
Sewell to come up all give We a lift on the
decoration an percession biZniss; Dan used
ter be heavy on the parade bizniss, We know
Talk about the high OF turnous, the hnrrah
We give Grant las Saturday night beat Fo'th
o Juiy complete, an came ez near discount
in St Patrick's day ez anythin' Amerika
ever does. Wen the fnSt gun fred an the
w'istles began ter blow, yed thought the
town was atire. the people was 81 excited.
The counter jumpers left their calicoes, an
the barkeeperS furgot to pass over the cock
tails. The wimmen acted ez ef they were
crazy, an ev'rybody rushed around huntin'
fur a good place to see our conquerin' hero
come. was on board the Chiaa steamboat,
al, az we run on mud bank wen We tried
to tie up at the w'ari | didn't see much o
the rercession-only the light o the Roman
candies al sich tiamin on the fog. Ne an
a5oat three thouSan' other folks SGw the per-
cesSiGn from a diStance-aa' mighty long
distance, toO-a cussin' Our luck an a shout
il fur gang -pIanks, an her coops an bal
looms. We wasn't very mat, bat We was
awfullv aggravated We didn't talk very
loud, but We cnssed mighty emphatic, an
our remarks on mud banks an China steam
boats WAS ob1ut az sarcastic ez they make
en- Wen me an three tnousan' friends o
mine got do vn to Market street ther wasn't
nothing left o the percesh but a steam
thrashin' machine a bellowin' out Gwen
johnny Comes Marchin' Home, So ye'li hev
ter use Yer own Judgment siftia' the Hes
ont o the noospaper yarns, W Ich IN mighty
sorry fur, ez | wanted ter give We the true
biznesS We're heavy on excitements down
here, an wen don't hev nothin' else to occu-
py our time we git up little furry III stocks.
Grant comm ez he did was mighty lucky
far some o the small fry sar,iines o Pine
street an Poverty Alley, cause ye see nigh
three W eks he'd gone by sense the lection,
an three weeks Is a dogs age IN Frisco; 50
ez ther wasn't likely to be anythin' more
excitin' II sklppln rope match atween two
school gals, or limp an 90 fetch 1t walkln
match the insides was jest on the pint o
civin the chambermaids and milliners n
chance 20 unload Their hall dollars into the
sharks mouth. Grant comm eZ he did
kn.c',ed .het little game galley west an
crooked cause we see Frisco can't ride two
horses at once, an it hez got SD thet stocks
amt dence high wen ther's anythin' else III
the wind | reckon Pail Raslin was purity
mad thet Grant stepped IN an beat the stock
deal racket. He'd made up his mind To
raise enough out o Ophir 10 make the gran
,,sssear to Europe Bill wen We come doGn
to the bay We Jest put up at the Palace tav-
ern. Them niggers II make ye fell puffucly
at home ez long ez We ken stan the high
pressure prices they charges fur boardm' an
iodrin'. Why OF son, the City Hotel IN
Sonora wouldn't make decent clothes closet
fur one o the bedrooms In this yer house, an
b'lieve they'd hist yer court house up to
the top story in the cage o the slidln' ma
chine. Tn goin ter stay round here some
time. an ef anv O the boys wants anythIn'
lest tell 'em ter chip, an III ante Ask the
widder ter send along sample o the kind
o cloth thet suits her complexion best, an
I'll see thet some o the wimmen folks stop
pin' in the tavern matches 1T fur her Tell
her expense amt no object ez longs it'll
spruce her up bit, an make her look
little like these Frisco nObs- Don't fnrgIt
ter send yer letters TO the Palace tavern,
So they'll be brought to me by niger on a
tin plate Yer oi pard-
JIM SNAGGLEBY.
B.-Ther's more dips, spurs, an angles |
in this yer tavern n ther' is to the mother |
lode of Tuolumne It's nothin' but shutes, /,
slopes. an cross-cuts, from the top levels to
the bed rock. I've made map o the place, |
SOS | won't git lost, 'cause ye see don't |
want to trouble those niggers all the time.
OLD HnL-Amongst the many men |
who made name and history in old Idaho |
during her dark and bloody days, Is ).
". Hill of the Salinas City I''dee, but
owner of the spicy Owyhee As,
ridnche He is young man, but derived
the name "Oid Hill because he was once
engaged in teaching the young idea how
to shoot. He left a name for bravery and
manhood that will not be soon forgotten,
and was beloved by nearly everybody
He left Silver City in 16, and is now state
senator, having defeated his opponent by
several hundred votes. Long life to you,
Did boy.