Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-09-25
sips of Fun.

States by a large majority if all
the Smiths III the country would
vote for him.
It was an absent-minded
clerk who told the young lady
that had just bought a bottle of
perfume from him that cit is
all wool and a yard wide"
A young lady pupil of a high
school put on a mass OF false
hair, penciled her eyebrows,
rouged her cheeks, etc., and
then went to the commencement
and read her essay, entitled,
deception a Prevailing Folly"
SI didn't at all expect compa-
my to-day" said a lady to her
visitors, with a most pleasant
look, shut / hope you will make
yourselves at home." 'sYes, in
deed," replied one of them, start
ing off, sI will make myself at
home as quick as possible"
The tomato is masquerading
about the market stalls under
more aliases than you can shake
a stick at. There are tomay-
toes, tomartocs, tommytoes, to-
mattuses, tommattOes, torma-
toes, and the other day We heard
woman inquire "How dye sell
yer tornadoes?"
a young man whose conduct
had always been above suspi-
cion went TO a neighbor's house
the other night and stole kiss
from a young lady's lips. The
next day he became soconscience
stricken on account of the
theft that he went over to the
neighbor's house and put it
right back where he found it.
DIR. Byle's wit once met a Sc
we're retort. Encountering a la
dy who, having desl ned an of'e
of marriage from the doctor,had
married a man named Quincy,
hc said. $50. madam. Won prefer
quincy to biles?" @Ycs," she
replied, "for if there had been
anything worse than biles the
Lord would have afflicted Job
with it,"
"This, dear children, is the
shoe of a Chinese lady; see how
little it is; what a narrow sole
it has," s'I'll bet it isn't as
narrow as Deacon-'s. Faith
er says his soul will fall through
a crack in the floor some day
and get lost" was the shrill
comment OF a boy given to
sharp listening. The superin-
tendent put the Chinese shoe in
his pocket and requested the
school to sing 'Pull for the
Shore"
Prof. Holden says that a great
many writer's use a vocabulary
of 80, 900 words, and the average
among good writer's, will fall
very little below that. That
may be true, but when a man
tries to raise a window in a hur-
|ry and catches his thumb be-
tween the sash and the fly
screen, he doesn't use more than
a half-dozen words, but they are
worth 10000 on ordinary Occa-
siOnS. W n
care you ready for trial, Mrs.
Furgerson?" "Not yet, yer
Honor" Sand why not, prayF'
"Sure, Pm making a new polly
maize to appear in on the Wit
ness stand, and it's not quite
READY, may it place the koort." /"
l"When will the gown be finish
led?" "Pve got it all done but
the thr.mmin,' and I'll have that
ION by Chewsday, yer Honor" "
I"Oyezl oyez! All witnesses in
the case Of the State Of Ohio
versus Mrs. Furgerson viii APP
) pear here Tuesday without fur
; ther notice" afa
A young fellow whose better
half had just presented him with
a bouncing pair of twins, atten-
: ded church ON Sunday. During
|, the discourse the clergyman
/ looked directly at our innocent
friend and said, in a tone Of
thrilling eloquence, /" Young man
you have an important responsi.
> bility thrust upon you." Th'
: newiy-fedged dad, supposine
the preacher alluded to his pc
/; culiar home event, considerabl,
startled the. audience. by ex
claiming, Eyes / have two of
: en-"
3 The train had pulled ont. 4
!. young man rushed breathlessl,
t i'm. The Oil City Derrick tell
0 the rest of it: "Got left, di'
Y you?" "Well, amt ] here?
n he responded. Then one said h
e could go across the bridge an
t catch it, and another told hir
n when the next train would gC
+. and made various suggestions
It The chap looked at the disaI