The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-12-13
NUN BER 9.
PASSING SMILES.

HAVE courage to wear your old clothes
II you can't get trust for new ones.
Ii merchants would employ girls for
collectors there would be fewer unpaid
bills in the land Modern Argo.
ALI. things are admired either because
they are new or because they are great.
Detroit Free Press. A Chicago girl can
admire her old shoes.
A GOOD old negro was burned 10
crisp recently, somewhere down in
Georgia The text of the funeral,
oddly enough, was; "Well done, thou
good and faithful servant
lT is very dangerous for any man to
find any spot on this broad globe that is
sweeter TO him than his home.--Ne,o
Hdcea Register. You mean il his wife
finds it out.
A WAsHoE jury was called on to try
n man for stealing milk, by drawing il
Mt night from his neighbors COW. They
found a verdict of guilty of stealing
milk in the first degree
A Los ANGELES boy has new idea
of the refrein. Being asked in Sunday
school what is the meaning of Selah,'
he replied that it was ancient for
" Whoa, Emma"
Bob INGERsoIL thinks that all the
hell man ever passes through is in this
world. This idea he formed while run
ming newspaper and trying to please
every body.-Hiram Green.
SoMETHING always to be told--time.
Something else always to be tolled--
bells. Something that can't be tolled-
runaway team. Something never
told--a woman's age. Something else
that's never told--how much you owe.
IT isn't Pm indication of very lovable
disposition or gentle temper in a girl,
when she closes the door the same way
she dresses her hair. (Ll-ta, te dun di,
tn diddy oddlc lee de, um, sa-di.di--
whistles softly aud goes out - wling-
ton Hawkcye.
Two of the bridesmaids who attended
Mrs Grant on her wedding day are still
living in ST Louis They are, like her
self, daughters of army officers, and in
gay garrison life were with their sisters
the girl companions of her sisters and
herself.
GeANDMAMA--" My dear, how vul-
gar of you TO eat with your arms on the
table One would think that you had
been brought up in stable Small
boy, aged g." Well, grandma, you
know Jesus was born in stable, and he
wasn't vulgar"
An, let the radiant glow Of hope
Suiiuse the tear ofjoy,
Nor let derison's horoscope
Divnest passion cloy;
Oh float me back TO memorys isles,
Upon messy log,
And let me with ecstatie smiles
Throw briekbats mt the dog.
A COMMISSION inquirendo de lunatico
should be appointed in the case of Rev.
DIR. Tucker, who has resigned 80, 900
pastorate in New York and accepted
$3, 900 call ut Andover, Mass. II il had
been Uice versa, it would not have sur.
prised MorristoiOn Herald.
DIR. HOLLAND says mans character
may be judged by his cravat. If he
wears no cravat, we suppose he hasn't
any.-Bu6alo Express. Bailey, you of
the Danbury Ne1s, will you stand this?
--Noroan Hour. You ought to enclose
stamp when asking for information.
Danbuy Neacs,
CALLER to Postwar" want to send
fifty francs to my son: how much'll it
=" Postmaster-"Te sous" Caller
There you are" (Gives him ten sous.)
Postlnaster-"H there but where's the
fifty francsp CalIer--"Whatl have got
to give you the fifty francs, too? /
don't see what saving there is in this
money order business" -Ffga,o.
ONE sees so many squibs in the papers
referring to the Thousand and one ways
in which the young man is taken in by the
matrimonially-inclined young woman,
that one is tempted to ask, !" Isn't it the
young woman sometimes who is taken
in?" Stupid, don't you know that that
is so common that well-conducted news
papers have ceased to speak of it2
THE Judge at Court in Maine
recently sentenced culprit to twenty
five years in the State Prison. The fact
was commun Gated to the prisoners
mother, who was struck with the magni-
tude of the sentence. What did they
do that for?" she exclaimed. Twenty
five yearsl Why, he won't be con-
tented there three weeks"
MARIETTA little lamb
Then she took slice o. ham,
Next she ate piece o. pie
MiDce-a little sip o. rye,
Or wine, perhaps, followed next