The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1879-12-19

have been unfortunate in love? Don't
You know what the poet says?
The lot of girls was to deceive
Since winter first was snowy.
"Women have been false to theil
lovers from all time; women will be false
to their lovers to all time.'
stBut no woman has ever been so false
to her lover as this woman has to me-"
ssLots of 'em have"
s'No; none could be-
s'But tell you thousands of 'em have.
know one whose conduct towards-to-
wards an intimate friend of mine was.
Why should you kill yourself because
one petty woman has played You false
Seek another one-a prettier one"
SIN vain, in vain," he groaned; sshe
was the only woman in the world that ]
cared for-the handsomest woman in all
Paris, sir"
'sOh bosh! I know of a hundred
handsomer and more tender than she
ever could be, You may think in the
first moments of soreness that there are
no other women in the world, but in a
month from now you'll be prepared to
admit how silly it was to entertain such
a thought
My eloquence seemed so convincing
and my position so sound that it was a
pleasure to me to listen to myself. I
went on.
"What good will it do you to hang
yourself? Tell me, if you can, what
useful purpose will be subserved.
Either the woman has heart or she has
not. If she has no heart
ssShe has none-none."
"Of course she has none. Therefore
your death will only be agreeable to her
will only fatter her. It is big adver-
tisement for woman to have man kill
himself on her account. What will the
public say-the boys. They'll say,
Charles was an ASA silly ass Yes,
Charles, everybody will say you were a
silly ass, and everybody will be right in
saying so."
I waxed eloquent; in point of fact, for
some moments it had occurred to me I
was arguing my own case, pleading for
my own life. I heaped fact upon fact,
added argument to argument with such
earnestness and closeness of reasoning
that my friend Charles at last fell into
my arms and cried, "You are right, you
are right-bid me do whatever You
would and I will obey you.'
''All right said I, ''let us go and get
some breakfast"
I brought him back to the Golden
Lion. I was terribly hungry,
The table at which we seated ourselves
was neatly seat, and aided ones appetite
by its snowy linen, its glittering glass
ware, it's golden-brown loaves, its yellow
butter.
When a thick and juicy steak with
potatoes had been served up to us,
tapping our prisoned nostrils in the
elysium of its appetizing odors and stain
ing our knives with it's yermeil essence,
and we had tasted the first glass Of some
remarkably particular Bordeaux, we
were rapturously silent, but our speak
ing eyes said-nay, shouted,
''Well, life isn't such bad thing,
after ALL"
eff T hadn't met yon," said Charles,
reaching across the table to squeeze my
hand.
eff I hadn't met him." thought, as
I returned his cordial grasp.
cit was the most remarkable piece of
luck I ever heard Of" he continued; 81
don't suppose that human being goes
through that copse twice in a month.
remained discreetly silent.
"But, say, you know" he went on,
as if sudden light had flashed upon
him, ''what were you doing in that
lonely part of the wood at that early
hour of the morning %
could not help blushing guiltily.
"You were going to hang yourself,
too"
"I was-upon the very same tree.
TT IL r
s'The best joke ever heard Of said
Charles, as we clinked our glasses
Adapted from tie French for tile Nea,
York World