St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1879-09-19
Squibs.


young city visitor to the kind hearted
farmer, 'won't you show us your wa
termelon orchard 7n "I haven't water
melon tree on the place this year,
ma'am they were all winter killed -
and his questioner wondered why he
smiled so pleasantly as he answered.
NeaO Haven Register.
Boston pwides itself on being the
seat of learning and litewature. Phila-
delphia on its families pwetending to
be able to twace their descent from
some wonderfully wemOte and -gwand
ancestwy. Baltimore on the beauty of
l is female cweatures and its veal ar
wistOcwats. Cincinnati-aw some place
out West, believe-faw its wemarka-
ole bweed of pigs "Fitsnoodle" in
Puck.
Among party who were visiting the
beautiful country estate of a Boston
business man, recently, was a gentle
man considerably interested in orni-
thology. AS they passed through the
grounds he accosted laboreI, and ask
ed, "Has Mr.. B any macaws on the
place now ?" Resting from his laboIs,
the son of Erin replied, "McCaws, is it
Begorra, l don't remember any of that
name, but there is the two McGinnesses
at woOrrk fOrninst the ."-BoSton
Commercial Bulletin.
"I'll subscribe for that paper,n said
Vanderbilt, laying down an agricultural
journal he had been reading; fits edi-
tor is a man of high attainments." His
eye had caught an article headed,
"Water Your Stock Regularly ."-DeS
MOines Register.
There are two little girls of the same
name in New London Conn. The other
night one of them said her prayers, and
for fear they might be credited to the
other child, she added after the Amen,
mo 10 Orange street."-LockpOrt I'm
ion.
''Dan," said a four-year-old, "give
me five cents to buy monkey" eve
have one monkey in the house now,"
said the elder brother. "Who is it,
Dan ?" ''You," was the reply. "Then
give me five cents to buy the monkey
some nuts" The brother could not
resist.
The Atlantic cable is a great institu-
ton. Without it we should have been
compelled to wait nearly two weeks
for the important intelligence that Lord
Knowshue's bay "Humbug" came in
third at the Spokeshire races last Thurs
day. -NOTriStOa1n Herald.
Talk of a woman not having a strong
stomach. Think of the poet Laureate.
Cape May Waue. ....
The Louisville Courier Journal says,
''The South is still for Tilden." Yes,
very still.-Ou City Derrick H
"If Lincoln had not died." exclaimed
political orator, "what would he have
been to-day 2" "Alive," ventured
timid-lOoking man on back seat, and
the tide of elOquence was momentarily
checked.
Now comes Johnnie in from school,
with "Pve got to have a new slate
and pencil, and sponge and a sec
ond reader, and teacher wants me to
study geography, and Pll have to have
an atlas, and the new boy got a licking,
and say, ma, won't you ask pa to buy
the books this noon, because Pm in a
hurry, and all the rest of the boys have
got theirn." n."-Ne,o Hauen Register.
A little boy, the son of an orthodox
Presbyterian, recently listened atten-
lively to some conversation in. regard
to Jesus having been Jew. At last
he could stand it no longer and broke
out with: "Well, 1 don't see how that
could be, when God, his father, was a
Presbyterian"
A lawyer once asked the late Judge
Pickens of Alabama to charge the Jury,
at is better that ninety and nine guilty
men should escape than that one inno-
cent man should be punished.n "Yes,r
said the witty Judge; 81 will give that
charge, but in the opinion of the court,
the ninety and nine guilty men have
already escaped in this county"
A young colored woman recently at
tended an Episcopal Sunday school in
this city with the view of joining the
church. She had been brought up a
Presbyterian. The minister directed
her to learn the apostles creed. The
clause, 81 believe in the holy Catholic
church." disturbed her, for she wanted
to remain Protestant. The minister
explained the passage to her and sh.
seemed satisfied. Subsequently, she at
tended service at the church and saw
the rector of the parish, robed in whit.
surplice, enter and kneel near the eagl,
lectern, or reading desk. The coloret
woman fled from the church. She sait
afterwards: "When l seed dat wort
Catholic in print my 'spicions wa
J reused, but when dat minister cum int,
de meetin' with dat gown on hin
and got down and prayed to dat duck
why, bress me, den / know'd he was
NnkI