The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1879-03-07
NO. 10.
FACTS AND FANc1Es.

Emeline Emelinei
pll jerk the kernel from its socket
In due timel In due timei
On the floor the she'll I,n throw,
Then IN. munch to music slow,
Emeline! Emeline!
The home circle-walking around with
the baby at night.
When we are young we waste great
deal of time in imagining what we will
do when we grow older, and when we are
oldtwe waste an equal amount of time in
lying about what we did when we were
young.
The solid heavyweight litter is ST.
Louis barber He is a delicate lookin
little chap, but has been known TO lift
a 200 pound man clear out of the chair
without any effort whatever, or even lay
ing his hand on him. He uses dull
razor.-St. Louis Spirit.
In Chicago the telephone is not only
used to call the doctor at night, but that
individual, without rising from his bed,
inquiries concerning the symptoms, tele-
phones prescription TO the nearest drug
gist, and IN few minutes the medicine
is delivered by messenger.-Philadel-
phia Press.
A person who was recently called into
court for the purpose of proving the cor
RICHNESS of a surgeons bill, was asked
whether 1.-THE doctor did not make several
visits after the patient was out of dan
ger?" NO. replied the witness, 81 con-
sidered the patient in danger as long as
the doctor continued his visits"
A gentleman gives the following adj
vice in relation TO dogs: "If you enter Il
lot where there is vicious dog, be care
full TO remove your hat or cap; as the an.
imal approaches you hold the same down
by your side between yourself and the
dog. When you have done this, you have
secured perfect immunity from attack"
A citizen went into a Norwich hard
ware store the other day and inquired
How much do you ask for a bath-tuh
| for child ?" ''Three dollars and sew.
enty-five CENTS" was the reply
"W-h-e-wr whistled the customer
| 'GuesS we'll have to keep on washing
the baby i'll the coal-scuttle till prices
come dOwn."-Norwich Bulletin
The Medicochirurgical Central Blatt
! of Vienna says the plague was first
brought to Russia in a shawl which q
| Cossack returning from war brought his
| lady love. The COssack will now SEE
what dreadful blunder he made in moi
DTlHSlHS llcT Il Stdl-Skln Sduue luSIedu ID
shawl But we should think the plague
| wouldn't visit Vienna as long as paper
with such a frightful name is printed
observation-disclosures Herald
you know, ;" SAID Rice, chow the negro
likes 'possum" Two darkies were rid
ing from field after hard days plow-
ing. They began to talk about the things
good to eat. what do you say to dis -
said one. Take a good fat 'possum
-pah bile him-put him in ole-fashioI
Dutch Oving-roas' HIM brown"the Other
darky's eyes rolling and mouth watering
as the description went On-"save him
up wild coon grady" 'Shut yo' mouf,
yO' niggah; I'll fall right offn' dis boss
Boston Globe.
"Have you ever been in prison - ask
ed lawyer of a witness, whom he was
disposed to badger and bully, as the pro
fession are apt 10 do.
Eyes, sir"
| "When?r
"In 1868"
"Whereg''
"In Andersonville"
| There was a momentary pause fol
breath, and then IL round of applause
| that shook the court room. The lawyer
felt all the rest of the day as if an incl
and half hose attached to street by
drant was playing to the tune of the
"ROgue's march" up and down his spin
al column.