The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-11-27
HULTUA M PARy0.

~, WEES 1a hal person ;,g strikes AZ attitude
TIE Russian plan Of settling Mill.
ism is knout-y, but not nice.
"AFrER 1880, whatp'' asks an OK.
change newspaper. 1881, perhaps.
A NEW book, like fresh lobster
doesn't benefit man much until it i,
read and digested. ~'''--e-''-s 1,-.s 80
BEFORE a tailor can collect any # his
bills, he has to sew for them. Cinci,s.
matt Saturday Night.
NOTHING is so fatal to the romance
of kiss as to have your girl sneeze al
the very climax of OSCILLATION.
"NoNE but the brave deserve the
hair" is the way the Indians put it,
Philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
HONOR thy wife's father and mother,
land which the old folks give thee.
The proper form for will nova,
days win read: "To the respective at.
torueys of my children I give my entire
estate"
DIR. CHANDLER, of New York, esti
mates that the water added to the milk
to supply New York City costs twelve
thousand dollars per day. j..
That was wise colored man who,
In speaking of the happiness of married
people, said: "Dat ar ponds alleged.
der how dey enjoy demselves.
LEADvILLE already has three daily
newspapers, four churches and public.
School system, but there are also one
hundred and eight gambling-houses.
A MAN in Elizabeth, N. j., recently
petitioned the Council for fence that
would be "goat high, goose tight, and
pig strong" to protect the public park
in that part of the city. ~.
A CINCINNATI editor has discovered
that poker, the great North American
game, is like a church fair. 1t don't
cost much to get into it, but it is some
times expensive to get out of it. aa.
Now THE aged liar is happy again.
He can sit around In the corner grocery,
white the sugar and salt barrels and
lie about the heavy snow-storms they
used to have early in August when he
was boy.-Oil City Derrick.
A SON of George @. Cannon went
through the Endowment house at Salt
Lake City, the other day, with his
cousin as a second wife, and in order
that he might escape punishment, his
father aided him off on a mission to
Europe.
"THERE is nothing like settling
down. said retired merchant conf
dentially to his neighbor. "When
gave up business l settled down, and
found had quite a comfortable fortune.
If had settled up, l shouldn't have had
q cent? .,,1
;. A SOCIETY to encourage the keeping
Of goats has been started in London.
In some of the upper wards Of this city
a society to promote the determination
would be hailed with enthusiasm by
owners of front yards and back gar.
dens. The goat is one of those good
things of which it is possible to have
too much.-N Y Hcrnla.
A PAssER-BY puts his head in at the
window of shop where an honest cob
bier is working, never thinking of evil,
and says cheerily, "WelI, my friend,
how many thieves are there in this
street without counting you?'' "Whatv'
yells the cobbler, without counting
me?'' "Well, them" says his imper-
turbable questioner, chow many are
there, counting you?'' :;
The learned British Commissioner
sent to the United States to ascertain
what is the matter with the agricultural
industry of England, has rode on the
railroad from New York to Boston,
through the poorest agricultural region
in the United States, and then wrote
home learned structures on American
agriculture. The world will never be
rid of learned focls.-loaOa State Reg
istcr.
LET no young man have any fear OF
being overlooked, or his merits I'M
recognized. Business men are con-
stantly weighing in just balance the
merits of the young men that come
under their observation. They are OBJ
served and weighed when they little
think of it. We have come to this con.
clusion: Every man from time to time
reveals to by-standers his true self, but
he is never aware of the act or the
time he does SOL. S. Coffin.
THE way in which Somerset Coun-
ty (Pa.) jury reache d verdict has just
been exposed in an argument before the
Supreme Court of the State. Twenty
four tickets were made, twelve bearing
the words ''for PLAINTIFF and twelve
''for defendant" These were placed
in hat, shaken up, and then each of the
twelve drew ticket. live of the
drawn tickets were for plaintiff and
seven for defendant, and the jury
found for the latter. Plaintiff asserts
that this was not verdict found
through deliberation, and he seems to be
right. .4 ~
The clerk of the court babe the wit
ness give his name, age and SO forth,
and hold up his hand to be sworn. He
took the oath with such dignified com
posture and deliberateness that every
one felt that there stood before them a
calm, selt-poised, truthful man, whose
evidence would go far to settle the
minds of the jurors in this sensational
case. There was a murmur as every
one settled himself to drink in his
testimony. "Now, SIR" said the
Judge, "be good enough to tell the
jury what you know about this i'm.
portant case.'' 81 don't know any.
thing about it," said the witness
blandly. Don't know anything about
itP Then why did you have yourself
summoned as witness?'' $50 as to
get good seat where could hear and
see everything. Tickets weren't to be
had for love Or nOnav ~ ~
A Horses Revenge.
7 The Society for the Protection O
An;roo1o 10 nOt yomark able for itS az