Daily globe., 1879-08-22


Debasing ligion-The Lamentable Col
lapse of What Might Have Been
Worthy Scheme if Conducted in the In
terest OF the Master-Pen Portraits O
Postmaster Keith and Others-Th,
"Globo's" Missionary Labors Concluded
The utter failure of the 'Minneapoli.
boom on Wednesday has already been record
ed It's effect however. was far more far
reaching and decisive than had been anticipat
ed, aud contrary to the intention. of the saints
eliminated in general collapse of the concern
between and 10 o'clock that evening.
The original intention was to run 'sthe ma
chine until noon yesterday, but after the
scaly treatment accorded them by Minneapolis,
the sanity trinity, Gilmore, Keith and johnson,
met together and concluded to
to wind up the concern that evening. At first
Deacon Gilmore, whose soul was as usual,
athirst for song out of that famous song book,
cheap for cash at rs cents, demurred and was
somewhat disposed to be pig-headed, but
finally gave in and reluctantly consented, on
the representations of his colleagues that unless
the concern was closed up that night,
when there small audience in
attendance, there would be nobody
to witness the final ceremonies the next day
(yesterday) Accordingly, the review and ex-
aminations of the Normal class, the reading
and concert by Miss Ella J. Meade, and all ex-
ercises remaining unfinished, were hurried
through and gotten off their hands shortly af-
ter o'clock. o."
Deacon Gilmore was as lugubrious and
mournful-visaged as ever, and essayed several
very poor jokes. Finally, when nothing more
remained to be done, the deacon solemnly an
nounced the time had come for the holding of
the camp fire which was to close the session of
the assembly, and would be symbolic of the
light which had guided their footsteps during
their meetings. He then called up Rev.
Mr.. Williams, Manager of Recreation" who
gave special directions as to what was to be dvne
He told the crowd to each take a brand and
to repair to spot near the north end of the
hotel aud then to pile the faggots together
and make camp fire. Thereupon, about
twenty-five Or thirty, including boys, repaired
to the spot indicated and started small fire.
around whicn they jouined hands and sung the
doxolosy, iuterspersed With few verses from
Squelcher Richards Minnetonka Rhymes, amid
the concluding strains of which, Deacon Gill
more declared the assembly adjourned sine die
SO ended the first chapter of the new, patent
Gilmorean scheme of soul-selling salvation at
70 cents per head.
NO QUARTER DEMANDED.
Arriving at the Park yesterday morning the
vious occasions. The gates, which had so long
been barred and had shut out the outside
world, were then thrown wide Optn. The box
Office, where Elder johnson had presided and
raked in the quarters of salvation-seekers, was
closed and knew him no more. The good elder,
having made himself whole on his printing
bill through the contributions of the faithful,
had decamped on the early boat. Even his
obsequious satellite who aided him in gobbling
danarfpd q trac bo.
hind. An air of desolation pervaded on
all sides, which extended to and permeated
the hotel. few Of the saints were visible,
but most of them had decamped as if anxious
to flee from the wrath to come. The only
moderately happy looking man was the hotel
proprietor, who for two weeks had been bedevil-
ed by the sanctimonious crew, and was doubt
less congratulating himself on his fortunate
riddauce from the vexations incident to the
entertainment of Gilmores saints-felows
who love the uppermost rooms at feasts and
the chief seats in the synagogues.
DEACON KEITH.
Bro. Keith was, however, still on deck. He
is not the man to "throw off, on fat Job and
has no intention Of letting go' his lucrative
post. The Brother is willy and has, in common
with his co-laborers in the Minnetonka Zion,
an eye to No. l. Disdaining the mournful
look of the sad eyed deacon, he ESSAYS a per-
srin--a quality which would 60 far to relieve
the sinister cast of his features, were it not
known that a man 'can smile and smile and
be'-a leading deacon in a convocation, of Min
nctopka saints. In outward demeanor Deacon
Keith aims to avoid the solemn sanctity of
Deacon Gilmore and to assume more Of the
worldly air, but despite all this there is some
thing about him which fails to attract, if in
deed it does not repel. His eyes sparkle with
fire, half viyacious and half vixenish. His
nasal feature, aquiline in it's rounding propor-
tlons, is far from Attractive, and the general
contour of his features is suggestive of a cold
calculating and selfish nature, unredeemed by
the ever present but faint and abortive show of
geniality Such is Deacon Keith, second in
the armament of the bright and shining lights
of the Minnetonka Zion.
The third ''phosphoric illumination in the
sanity category, Elder Johnson, has already
been pictured out to the GLOBE readers, as has
been the chief of the sanity crowd, Deacon
Gilmore. Could more cOngenial trio have
been picked from the four corners of the earth?
OTHER BROTHERS.
Two more of the holy brotherhood may be
briefly depicted-Bros. Allen and Miller. Bro.
Allen is an Iowa importation from Clear Lake,
and about the worst that can be said of him is
that he keeps company with and endorses the
sanctimonious Gilmore in all he does and says
This. however, the GLOBE is disposed to over
It
tho heart. Possibly, it is the result of evil as
sociation, and If so the GLOBE is disposed to
pass it over. He has one virtue, however,
which the othersedo not possess-that of sim
cerlty. His motives in entering into the asso-
citation were honorable and praiseworthy-with
Gilmore and Keith money making was simply
the object in view. He may be misguided but
not insiucere, and this tribute the GLOBE freely
awards him.
Treasurer J. E. Miller is pretty mush in the
same boat. Brother Miller, to the merit of
sincerity adds another-that of less partisan
ship and greater respect for those who differ
with him. He seeks to make no converts, and
Is disposed to allow each and every one to seek
salvation after the ordination of ''his own
sweet will, " nor does he believe that the critic
OF the Gilmore method of soul-saving is sure
to be cast into the depths of the lake of burn
ing birthstone. Altogether, considering his as
soclatlon with the saints of the Minnetonka
Zion, he is pretty good sort of a fellow.
THE SAINTS SHOCKED.
Miss Meade's reading on Wednesday night
did not suit the calibre of the saints. Her
dress and her acting smacked too much of the
wicked stage and of course brought dow upon
her the censure of the sanctimonious saints of
Gilmore and his gang. In one respect only
are the saints allowed to copy in their actions
after ordinary mortals, and that is in making
rush for the dinner. table and the usual on,
slaught thereon.
MISSIONARY LABoRs OF THE GLOBE,
And now the GLOBE pays it's parting adieus
to the brotherhood From the first day to the
close it has labored in the cause of true religion
to convert the shams and hypocrites who were
wearing the mask, simply to delude and entran
unsuspecting people. 1t has torn the
mask from tho mountebanks who were
running the assembly and exposed their truc
motives. 1t has proved a ''thwart, disnatured
torment to Gilmore & Co. and made him
Vchild nf snlnnnD indnod IL ha. .t.4a---.I