The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-07-03
MULTUM IN PARVO.

MULTUM IN PARVO.
MINNESOTA has . town called Good
Thunder.
LAST seasons hose are apotheosized
In this years parasols.
IT was the freckled-face, red-nozed
girl who seidlitz powder.
WHAT barber should talk about
whilst shaving a man-About two Sec
onds.
WHEN . mans credit is destroyed he
is obliged to worry along without rum
ming III debt.
A NAN who actually hanged himself,
when he only meant to brighten his
wife, carried the choke too far.
MEN can live for many years on the
reputation of what they have been, but
they do not seem to get fat on it.
THE only position in which unflag-
cling attention would prove dangerous
Is that of q railroad-crossing watch
man.
NEVER shrink from q woman OF
strong sense. II she becomes attached
to you, it will be from seeing and val
uing similar qualities in yourself.
AT the recent burning of the Ameri-
can Museum in New York, an educated
pig, valued at five hundred dollars,
was converted into ordinary roast pork.
IRISH drill-sergeant Ito squad of
militiamen): "Pr's'nt 'rmsr'-(aston-
ishing result.) "Hivens! what q
'prisintr just slip out here now, and
look at yersilvesr'
A WRITER on styles says: cit is the
fashion in France for ladies to take
their tea in bonnets and gloves" It
may be, but we prefer a teacup. Gloves
make tea taste bad, and bonnets drip
so--Harttord Post
Two GIRLS up in Oswego, N. Y, &C
cording to the Times, went fishing the
other day. but were so tender-hearted
that they drowned the worms in q pail
of water for fear the fish would hurt
them when they bit!
The man who goes fishing and sits in
q cramp-inviting posture on a narrow
plank from early morn till dewy eve,
and calls it fun, is the same chap that
never goes to church because the pews
0AO uOe CohAAOA etaUiC.-x OUhosS VW~CtCSs
MILLEY WILLIAMS, q miser of Enson
Crossroads, N. c., was accustomed to
invest her earnings in gold, one dollar
at time. Her house was recently
burned, and Jumps of melted gold
worth about $40, 900 were taken from
the ruins.
WHEN some one who thought him.
self very bright and witty told Churchill
with growl that a friend of his was so
dull that if you said good thing he
couldn't understand it, the poet looked
up from q line he was just finishing
and replied: "My dear sir, don't be-
ieve you ever tried him."
A FRENCH professor, who lectured on
"Suicide and Suicidal Subjects" COM
menced by boldly telling his hearers
that every one of you has at some
time or another, more or less often,
thought and desired to commit suicide"
and challenged any one present to con-
tradict bis statement, but no one did SO.
A JEwELER in South Royalston, ". u,
spied on the finger of a highly-es-
teemed young lady, who was shopping
in his store, ring that had been stolen
from his stock. She told him, in re-
Spouse to his inquiries, that it had
been given to her by q boyish sutton.
This led to the discovery of a society of
thieves, sons of respectable parents.
The boys had secret signs, passwords
and oaths, after the manner Of a body
they had read about in dime novel, and
had committed several burglaries.
AUNT DINAH, an Indian squaw, who
will be los years old next Christmas,
walked from the Onondaga reserva-
ton the other day seven miles into Syr-
acuse, N. Y, and returned the same
evening. While on this little tramp of
fourteen miles, she carried heavy
bundle on her back, strap by which
the load was bound passing over her
forehead. In Syracuse she shook
hands with many pale-face acquaint-
ances. She is probably the most able
bodied, vigorous centenarian in the
world.
"A WOLF having got into his throat q
bone which tramp had left on the
highway tried to hire q crane for q
large sum to extract it. The crane de-
manded the money in advance, and
thereupon the wolf drew its note at
sixty days, without Endorsement, on
the Second National Sand Bank of New
York, and rendered it in payment. The
crane didn't know nNch about bust
ness, but before extracting the bone
went off to negotiate the paper, but
without success. Now the wolf had
intended to impose on the crane, and
as the latter did not return died de-
served death.-Modern Esop, in the
Cleveland Voice.
THE other day man came to Bur.
lington who owns 1,485 acres of land,
has 1900 tons of hay in stack, and
feeds $50 head of cattle, and heaven
knows how many sheep, and hogs, and
horses. And how do you suppose he
came to town? On q load of cord
wood; and he was dressed in the same
old straw hat he wore all last sum-
mer, and a pair of boots that hadn't
been BACKED or "greased'' since leath-
er was invented, a hickory garment
that it were base flattery to call a
shirt, pair of overalls that had more
patches than overalls, and did duty for
overalls and trousers both, and were
fastened up by two suspenders, not a
pair, for they weren't matches, and of
his suspender buttons, two were nails
and one was q thorn. and the other
was brass army button. And now.
we ask, in the name of humanity, had
that man any right to come to town
dressed in that style? And for fear
the rest of you might not answer cor.
rectly we will answer it curself."
No, he hadn't Burlington HGaOk- Eye.