The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-08-09
LITERARY MURDER.


novels, our Riverside, Seaside, Lakeside
and other literature of this class, the fea-
ture that is first to strike us is the vast
amount of literary murder that is COM
mitted between the yellow and blue and
green covers of these sensation books.
The uncles, aunts, cousins, ruftians, vii
lains, burglars, and frequently highly
pious moral people who are given happy
dispatch in order that the hero or heroine
may have proper dowry and marry at
ease in the last volume, is something
frightful, and ought to be taken in hand
by humanitarians. Because man is old
or ugly, or has crochets, or through an
imperfectly developed moral organiza-
ton, is a burglar, foot-pad, or tyrannlcal
uncle, OR wealthy but detested lover OF
the beautiful and prosecuted heroine, isno
reason why he should be remorselessIy
blown up in a steamboat disaster with
thirty-eight other cabin passengers, or
sufl0cated in a burning building, or shot
by the heroic lover when just ready to
absquatulate with the heroine tainted
dead away in sack; or that he should
be stabbed by some villainOus wretch at
drinking saloon without moments
time to send for a clergyman to convert
him like q murderer about TO be hanged.
BY no manner of means, and there ought
to be reformation in this business.
Perhaps through the means Of a society
organized for the purpose, or a committee
the evil could be reached and arrested.
For instance, Society for the Proven
ton of Cruelty to the Supernumerary
Characters in Works of Fiction would
be comprehensive and ought to be able
to enlist the sympathy Of thoughtful
people of all classes.
Instead of killing off the rich old
uncle, so that the impecunious nephew
could marry Mary Jane and not have to
be conductor on a street-car in order
to support her in affluence, the old gen
tleman might be induced to take the
young man into the firm and make so
much money in city lots or elevated
railroad stock as to enable him to carry
Mary Jane to the seaside with eight
Saratoga trunks and a maid, all the same
as if the old man was dead. Besides, by
keeping him alive, the old fellow could
watch the premises and possibly prevent
burglars from getting in and stealing the
silver while the young folks were away
travelling. Then, in place of having the
heavy villain fatally stabbed at drink
ing saloon, and thereby getting the
saloon a great deal too much gratultous
advertising in the newspapers, how much
better it would be to have the wretch
attend a camp-meeting, or religious
revival at one Of the churches, and be-
come converted. He could then confess
where the stolen will was secreted, and
after shaking hands and becoming recon
ciled to everybody, he would naturally
accept a call to preach somewhere on the
CtTpull, lIu CDHNtls a IulliDt VI NIlldIHs
in several other dime novels that their
authors would otherwise be forced to
blow up, or burn to a cinder, or mash to
felly in frightful accident, about the
twenty-first chapter.
We make these suggestions for the pur.
pose of attracting public attention to q
crying evil that no one appears to be
Iaboring to suppress, but which seems
susceptible of ahording excellent result:
if a few earnest missionaries will but
properly cultivate the field. But put
ting the morality of the thing entirely
aside we ask one question: Can we ii
view of the near approach of the period
for taking the next National census afford
to have this frightlul slaughter Of able
bodied citizens continued at least unit
after the census takers have been around
and made their enumeraions? If these
arguments prove ineffective to stay the
bloodshed we shall be compelled as finaI
resort to call for the police and fight this
literary devil with fire.