Litchfield enquirer., 1879-02-13
CLIPPINGS.

A bad thing to sharpen-The waters edge
 Does an intellectual savage have a mental reservation?
 A retired Boston fireman calls himself an ex- spurt.
 Thompson calls his baby Macbeth, because it murders sleep.
 Paul Boynton is going to swim at Pittsburg It will cost him something to get clean again.
 It used to be rather bluntly put: "Wine and women." Now it is liquor and ladies'
 At recent wedding in Deadwood, fried liv- CT and ice-c cream composed the bridal feast.
 Again the Bible is wrong It was John Wilkes Booth, and not Cain, that killed Abe L.
 Happy is the rich bachelor who can die without having couple of wives turn up and claim his property.
 No one need get discouraged if he only re- members that he will always be worth $25 anyway-to medical students.
 Mrs. Burlington declares that she does not wish to vote, as she fears she could not stand the electrical franchise.
 We are not much on titles in this country, but Indiana calls one of her citizens 1.-The Honorable Reverend Doctor De la Matyr"
 Having said several severe things of the ameer. we learn with the most poignant regret that the old wretch cant read.
 ''Good day, Nose! How you vas shanged Wouldn't never haf knowd you!" "But my name is not Moses, sir" ''Kreat hefens your name shanged too"
 Probably the happiest combination in all this wide world, during these merry winter days, is half mince pie with boys around it.
 Speaking of "Hamlet' and Lawrence Bar rett, the Boston Globe says; "The play is worthy the actor!" Score another knock down for Shakespeare. Some of the papers are calling Sport ''Bridge- ports pride" Let us down easy neighbors. Never strike city when its sdown.-Standard. "What," said an inquisitive young lady, lis the most popular color for bride?" We may be little particular in such matters, but we should prefer white one. Adam Wolf has been appointed surveyor of customs at Nashville. So says the telegraph. Isn't it bad enough to call man A. Wolf, without saying Adam Wolf. ''Its operations are swift, easy and beautiful, pleasant to the patient, like the humming bird | as it moves from flower to flower to get the sweet nectar. ."-Janesaille Wis.) Dentists aa- certtseneent ct c neao plugging -andchi'ae.
 $ A temperance society up in Merden digni- ies itself by the appellation. ''Mt. Ararat 1 Lodge" probably because that noted mound was the driest spot on earth when Noah an- chored there. | o1l 1olr solemn looking tramp): "I it your inability | to procure work, my good man that causes your dejected air" s. l. t. (preparing to light out) No, mom; it is my liability to git suthin' to do that keeps me all the time pen sive and cast down."
 An agent who had sold Dutchman some goods was to deliver them at the residence of | the purchaser. The Dutchman gave him the 1 following directions: ''You shoost goes be- hind de church den you turns up de right for a while till you come to a house with big hog in the yard. Dots me-"
 In this country a boy has too much to fight against. First his mothers slipper; next, Fourth of July; then green apples and f. nally, Santa Claus, rickety pair of skates, and an air-hele in the ice.
 Mrs Dunshudder fed tramp yesterday because he wore an old army coat of faded blue. "You went though the war;" said the sympathetic soul. "Yes'm, was drummer, '' and when the fellow reached the sidewalk he concluded the sentence: flor hardware store in Chicago"
 ''Papa, me has been baptized, ain't me ?" asked a little three year. old. ''Yes;dear." "Then me won't have to be baptize again? ?" ''No; but can you remember anything about being baptized?" 'I dess can!' ''Well, what did the minister do to you?" "He showed up my sleeve and stuck a knife in my arm.''
 To classical student: You ask Eff Atlas supported the world, what supported Atlas ?'
 The question, dear sir, has often been asked, but never, so far as we are aware, satisfactorily answered. We have always been of the opn- ion that Atlas must have married rich wife and got his support from her father. The Louisville Courier-J Jonrnal has discov erd young lady who blushes, gees to bed at , nine o'clock, eats heartily, speaks plain Eng fish, respects her mother doesn' want to mar
 ry lord, and knows how to cook She } must be one of Edison's new inventions. A young lady was never born that way.
 ''Some things" said an excited politician,
 ''can be forseen and foretold and I now for see and will now foretel that the day will soon come when our liberties will be no more.
 This is as certain, my fellow citizens, and it is as sure as that Romeo founded Rome."