The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1879-11-22
IFUNNYGRAPHS.


boarder ruffian.
The lamp-lighter has bright prospects
before him.-Neoo Orleans ficdgUse.
WHAT is it that ties two but only
touches one? A wedding ring.
"CoMING through the rye" is not
Bourbon ballad.-PhiLo. Bulletin.
SUSAN B. ANTHONY SAYS she expects
to die in the harness. She probably
means hoopskirt and shoulder-straps
PANwBRoKERs should make good bill
liardists. They play the eeball game
successfully.-N Y. Commercial.
"NoNE but the brave deserve the
hair" is the way the Indians put it.
Philadelphia Chronicle.
IT is a current bard who sings sat
alone with my conscience" Two TO one
he never had less fun in all his born
days.
Al once had dog who could
always tell rascals from honest menp
b" Well, what became of himW A
" l had to give him away, he bit me-"
WITH all the Frenchnan's boosted
economy in culinary matters, be never
thinks of serving up the lamb in its own
capers.-IUrneT' Falls Reporter.
MARY ANN has not been seen
since early Monday morning;
she lit the stove with kerosene,
And mjZzed without warning.
N. Y. World.
Two colored women III Atlanta are re-
ported to have traded children. Who
will say hereafter that the Ethiopian
cannot change his kip?-Rome Sentinel.
WHEN a new dramatic company
takes the road they should see that
the road is kept in good repair, for the
chances are they will need it to walk
home on Cincinnati Saturday Night.
THEY say tobacco ruins the teeth, but
we know an old gentleman who has
chewed it for years, and hasn't an un-
sound tooth in his head, nor one of any
other kind.-BOst0n Pos5.
AN embarrassed actor bounded on the
stage of San Francisco theater, in
scene depicting robbery in hotel
office, and shouted: Gag the safe,
while | blow open the night clerk,
PHILADELPHIA possesses the champion
modest young lady. The Chronicle has
discovered that when she hangs out
stockings on the clothes-line she puts
wells over them.
CARE you professor of religion, my
little fellow" asked lady of her pas
tors six-year old boy recently. "No,
man," was the little boys prompt re-
spouse, "Pm only the professors son!"
OUR dear son Gustav lost his life by
falling from the spire of the Lutheran
church. Only those who know the
height of the steeple can measure the
depth OF our grief Obituary Column of
C Germ1n NeaCsPopeT.
"How far is it to Cub Creek?" asked
q traveller Of 4 Dutch woman. "Only
sh0ost little ways" SIS it four, six,
eight or ten miles?'' impatiently asked
the stranger. Vas, | dinks it is"
serenely replied the unmoved gate
keeper.
| A FOOLISH man married dumb
woman, because she could never scold
him. Imagine his anguish when she
writes out her curtain lectures on a
slate, and when he comes home at one A.
NJ. makes him read them aloud TO her,
that she may know ne does read and
understand them.
! ONCE upon time gentleman met q
stranger on the street, grasped LIS hand
cordially, and exclaimed in tones of
polite but uncertain recognition: " Mr..
Brown, 1 believer" of you believe
that" calmly replied the str niger, whose
name was Hamilton, you'll believe
anything Bur jngton Haaskege.
CAN can yez tell me-" says Murphy,
the other day, why the small scythe /
bought for me little Teddy to cut @rass
tor de COW wild, is ioike these two.wheeled
carts which the young fellers Is all
just beksse us a byes-sickle; d'ye see?
Thank your honor, don't care if do"
Boston Courier.
IT is related that Yankee who had
just lost his wife was found by Eeighbor
emptying q bowl Of soup az large as a
hand basin. Why, my goodness, Elan
thusm said the gossip, sis that all you
care for your wile?' wall" said the
Yankee, Give been cryin' all the morn
in, and after | finish my soup I'll cry
another spell That's fair, any howl
Syracuse Hera}3.
4 PAssER-BY puts his hesd in at the
window of the shop where an honest
cObbier is working, never thinking of
evil sud says, cbeeriiy, Well, my
| friend, how many thieves are there in
| this street without counting youW
" Whatw wells the cobbler. without
counting me?' We'll, then" avs his
imperturable questioner, how many
are there, counting your
! SCENE: Night; large bedroom, with
four beds. Two gentlemen in each bed.
| One gentleman carries on a loud CONVEX
sation with one of the gentlemen in the
other bed Suddenly the man by his
side rises on his elbow and says; 81
wish you would stop talking; | want to
go to sleep" And this is the reply and
the satisfaction be got: Well, 90 to
sleep; am not talking to you"
WHEN little Bob asked bis sisters
beau for cigar, his future hrotherin-
law suubbfd bin with the remark:
Young msn, a trap would 10 you
more COCO Next night Bob's sister
and her young man got their hands, chins
snd clothes 5rieared with coal tsr while
! lettering at the front gate, and little
| Bob, when ques. iOntd on the subject,
said he couldn't tell lie it must have
been tramp. - Fsck.
| INSTANCES Of 4 mans hair being
turned from let bis, To white ia a sim
gle night of horrar are common enough.
! A case some What similar, though more
remarkable, occurred recently. John
Thompsou ttfI lis home on sunday
morning, and though he had been absent
| but one SHIRT tour his beard, a beautiful
| red, had teC",.c when be returned en-
tirely trarsi rmed into deep, dismal