Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1879-10-08
He Wanted Big Words.

L want to see the man who writes
the editorials for this paper said al
individual who looked like cross be
tween a country store clerk aud a Jol
preacher. L mean your regular bis
gun, your sledge hammer heavy weight
so to speak. The one who writes those
thick, solid leaders that nobody can un-
derstand. Them kind with four sylla
bles in 'em, you know
well, sir SAID the editor-n'chief
laying down his pen and shutting up
big dictionary, what can do Tor you!
Why replied the stranger, as ht
took out twenty and laid 1t Oil the
desk, Il want you to give me the wortt
of that in big wOrds-regular iaw-brea-
kers Just the toughest old tooth loos
eners you can get mp 'or the money
You don't want them for some
other paper:' said the editor suspicious
ly.
'Oh. no, not at all. Let me explain
You see, | belong to one of the debal-
ing societies up in Marysville. OF
course. we haven't got much city style
up there, but we manage to make
good deal of noise sometimes
Shouldn't WONDER said the editor.
we hayc some mighty lively deba.
tes. can tell you. We'll, the Other
day they got up sort of chin tourna
ment between the two societies. The
question was: Resolved, That bedbugs
do not bite Chinamen.' Magnificent
subject, now. wasn't it:'
Has considerable bearing on the
future of the State, l admit, SAID the
moulder Of public opinion, screwing "
the sheass.
We'll, you see, we were just walking
right away from the other fellows, who
had the affirmative, when a new mem
Der of their crowd-a fellow just up from
the city-got up and said he was salts e
fed the bedbug didn't bite the China
man because if it did the result would
beGlet's see I've got it down here or
piece of paper. 'Oh, yes!-instan'
tancous pyroligneous asphyxiatIon.'
What did he mean?
4 don't know-nobOdy. knew
Thet's. just what's the matter. L
knocked all our fellows perfectly cold
lust paralyzed the entire crowd. We
hadn't another word to say, and the
opposition society carried the day and
went home grinning like watermelon;
with our slice out
That was annoying
You bet Il was. Just think OF the
meanness of that cuss to spring a cou-
ple OF words like that right on Marys'
vile audience. Why it was terrible
of course we did the best we could tC
oct even, Well, the next Saturday W:
had another strong subject; Resolved
That compelling hens to drink hot water
will cause them to lay hard-boiled eggs.
So l braced up and said that once
had a game rooster that died of curEill'
neal cantogar photobia.'
That ought to have extinguisheC
them.'
well. it did for moment, you bet
ter believe, Their crowd turned white
around the gills for moment, bu
when our fellows had done cheering
that same fellow-hs name is Gufierson
and he used to be some sort OF pro
fessor once, | hear-that same fellow
cot up and SAID that, while he largely
conceded with the gentleman who haC
lust sat down, probably the most Sc
rious obstacle in the way OF utillzIn!
chronological intelligence was the ten
dency of the species toward hysterial'
arnyxia pologolomencaughemia,'
Great ScottH
You may well say so. OF cours
that just knocked us square oil ou
pins-wiltcd us right down-and tn
audience decided for the opposition sid
without taking vote. L belleye tina
, if Gufferson hadn't gone home tha
night escorted by Bill Stokes-that'
, our police force, you know-some
our members would have assassinate
[ him.
' Il should think assassinations woul
a be very multitudlnous down your way
/ Multi tudinous-that's no slouch
J, q WOru. just lct hip eahO 4" Wv"
: Yes, 1t was regular Waterloo deiei
for our club. So the next day they SUI
\. scribed twenty dollars and the expeI
!, ses of a committee of one 10 come rigl
down to Frisco and get hold OF q lot
r. words calculated to make coal rattle
e the cellar when they are left OF, and
q cause that Gufferson TO wish he'd new
been born. Now, come, what can u
do for me-? Dern the expense
!, And as the managing editor has taxi
+; day Of and lugged home the OH
ct Verbal Roots we confidently adv
our subscribers at Marysvllle to take
e. the foot hills before the commission
is returns. Property will be very che
in that section shortly, If our edit
at knows himself neer.-