The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1879-06-18
Wit and HulnOl'.

fiOW 70 marx taAe nnen--OpseI Tue
gravy.
There's many cowslip 'twixt the but
tercup and the tulip. ... .
Does the base ball foul lay an egg?
Certainly-the goose egg.
The time is near at hand when every
one can have peas in the family.
\ sailor off on a furlough is like the
prodigal son when he returns to his spar.
Sea?
The fat boarder called the mold on the
pie an oasis-a green spot on the desert.
Railroad t1agmen are Of rare courage.
1t is not until they are dead, that their
espirits flag.
In sitting for picture the person who
wlnks at the camera gets reply IN the
negative.
The man with strawberry mark on his
night arm can now sell himself for
short-cake.
Sickness turned Western mans hair
from white to dark brown. Probably
the sick man dyed.
An exchange says that Napoleon ".
IS always porting over books. He never
reigns, but he pores.
An Albany florist is endeavoring to ar
range match between Virginia creep
er and scarlet runner.
II a man will tell me what he thinks
Nv his nabors, kan tell him what his
ual,ors think of him.
On account of the decided manner Of
his spouse, Smythe says that his children
are governed by ma shall law.
Il never waste any time IN listening to
the meaningless twitter Of the blue birds
when the dinner gong is winding its
mellow hum
That was /; smart boy smashed the other
fellows eggs, and then justified himself
with the remark that it is good for man
that he bare the yolk IN his youth.
There was never but one shirt maker
in this country who understood how
a buttonhole should be placed in collar
and he died before he could teach any of
the others.
\ downtown man says be has the best
auctioneer in his family. 1t belongs to
his wife, and it hears of every auction in
the city, much to the lightness of his
purse.
IN agricultural paper advises the farm
er to count his sheep every day. If it
comes to that, we should advise the farm
er to move into better neighborhood.
! Chinaman never swears when he gets
mad because there are no ''cuss words" in
his dictionary. He simply upsets his
Washtub, butts the bottom out, kicks
dog and feels better.
Two sophomorcs entered a street car;
the first takes the only vacant seat, and
the second sits in his lap. Presently
young lady enters, and the second soph,
rising, says, ''take my seat, madam.
Of course no woman ever did such a
thing, but supposing now, for the sake of
argument, as it were, that woman was
to go to church for the purpose Of show
ing her new sacque, would it not be sac
religious, so to speak?
Here said farmer in Syracuse, as he
exhibited broken jar to the manufacturer
Il packed this jar full of butter and it
split from top to bottom. Perhaps you
can explain the phenomenon?' :'Oh, yes,
can,' was the ready reply: "The butter
was stronger than the jar
A little girl who had been on {; rail-
road train when an accident occurred, was
told by her mother that she ought to
thank God for her escape from injury,
when she made her evening prayer. She
did it in this way: "Thank you, God,
for not letting me be hurt to-day; but the
next time go to the city I'll 60 in a
wagon" 40"
4 Western boy thought his mother was
praying overlong the other morning, and
he said: ooh, mother! there's hawk
over the hens.' The old lady brought
her devotlons to a poultry standard of
measurements double-quick time, and
sprang to feet with ''Amen! Out Wild
yees, Thomas, and save thin hins.'' -
First class in ethics, stand up! Brough-
ton, what Is truth?' ''Truth is stranger
than fiction" 90! it is, is it? Well, maybe
in your case, for I have no doubt that if
Providence has been just to you, it has
made you pretty intimate with friction
but can't you give me any other explana-
ton Of truth?' "Truth is disease that
Gen. Washington died of, an as you
and I weren't r. alive then, we never
caught it' -. &. %%&E ~.
Small boy Harry, Vs. > r" .e Ga
Drumming on the pane,
Looking at the chickens,
Draggled with the rain,
Where do chickens come from, S..
Mamma, please do tell? .a1i *' II
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