River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1879-11-27
MY OWN SUICIDE
How Hanged Myself for That Faithless
Jilt-Mhat Was Her Name, Anyhow.


WAS no longer any doubt that Amen
was faithless to me.
Let me be sure about twas 1t Amella
her name was? To think she once heid
my life, as it were, in her little hand
and can't recollect, to save my soul.
what her name was.
ANYHOW, whoever she was, she had
proved false to me, and, as | was very
Young at the time, had promptly come
to the resolution to destroy myself. My
first intention rs TO GO blow out my
brains all over he stair carpet, but then
| reflected that every one would know
that Henrietta-come to think of it, her
name was Henrietia-had infatuated
and turned my head. "No," said to
myself, mo scandal no publicy!" Let
me initiate the wounded stag, which,
seeking to hide its fatal hurt, betakes
itselfto the most secret thickets there to
perish far from all human eyes"
III.
In this elegiac disposition took the
$50 train for EIelum, which sat me
down Just at dusk within few steps of
the Golden Lion, very well-kept inn
with clean beds and capital table.
s'What will monsieur have for sup
peri" said a charming little mistress.
Nothing-supper would be a mock
cry. Show me to my tomb-my room,
| mean.
| retired to my couch, but not to sleep.
In my fevered dreams beheld Victoria
I am now confident ii was Victoria
after all-passing, leaning ON the arm
Of my hated rival. Iclutched madlv at
his throat and eized-the iron railing
of the bedstead, or the marble slab of
the little table by my bedstead. | rose
unrefreshed, but what matters that
was about to die-ha! ma! to die.
Having dressed myself l went in
search OF a rope. You may think that
when a person wants to hang himself
nothing is easier than to find a rope,
but | had to hunt the hotel high and
low before | could find one.
"What on earth do you want of q
rope, monsieur p said the pretty mis-
tress when finally she found me one.
With the precious bit of hemp in my
pocket, | took my way toward thicket
not far from the hotel in a little wood
whose paths were familiar to me.
There was one lonely and gloomy copse
there where / well knew my lifeless
body would swing for weeks ere it was
discovered.
Upon the road | thought of Bertha
| was wrong before; come to think of
it it was Bertha-and cursed her with
all the bitterness of which my soul was
capable. | then tested my cord. 1t
was not such an agent of selfdestruc-
ton as | would have chosen had | an as
s0rtment from which TO make a selec-
ton. 1t seemed to rne both short and
not up to my weight. l was annoyed.
You cannot tell how a trife like that
will affect a persons temper at such a
moment.
A further disappointment was in
store fer me. On arriving at the spot
/ had selected in advance l was disa-
greeeably surprised to find somebody
el~e there. An individual whose back
only could see, was occupied in fast
eniug a rope to the most eligible branch
of my tree.
Hello! what are you doing there?"
l cried.
He turned round. "What business
is that of yours, any way?' he said.
Bah; don't you think know what
you intended doing p
"Well, and supposing l wanted TO
hang mvself-its my own funeral
suicide, | mean."
".
| regarded him narrowly. He was
handsome and manly young fellow of
about my own age, with a frank and
winning countenance. He was deadly
pale.
III; .. ,.x,,,,,, ,,,,,, s,;d l;Ftirc ~,
hands To- heaven, twas going to take
his life-his own precious life-all for
the sake Of q worthless jill"
"Sir!" he cried.
Poor, silly fool, l went on, commun-
ing with myself alou J, she would I'M
dertake to defend her. All lovers are
the same. Will you" 1 continued,
take my advice-the advice of well
wisheI? Just leave that cord there CT
was stouter rope than mine, | had 90
served), and go quietly home like
good fellow. When you are yourself
you will thank me for having given you
such good advice"
He shook his head gloomily az de-
sire to die" he muttered.
Don't let yourself be goaded into
taking a step that il you were alive you
would regret tomorrow" / went on,
with Il benevolent persistence-(Yo You
see the fellow had preempted the only
eligible bough in the wood "When
you are dead it will be too late to change
your mind"
"You speak to me without knowing
what misfortune has happened to me-"
81 can guess it."
mo, you can not guess it. Sir,
woman that | loved; a woman for
whom
And he vent on to tell me his story
which, singnlarly enough, was precisely
like mine. The coincidence made me
rause moment TO collect my
thoughts.
u see" said Charles Che had told me
in the course of his painful story that
his name was Charles), that. your
silence justiies me"
BY no means" cried. You will
observe that it wouldn't have been Dig
mfied for me to abandon at once my for
mer position on the subject of s,icide.)
There is nothing whatever in all that
you told me to Justify you in taking
your life. Come, my friend said /,
becoming really interested in his case.
come, let us reason the matter ont.
Why should you complain because you
have been unfortunate in love? Don't
you know what the poet says?
The lot Of girls was to deceive
Since winter first snowy.
women have been false to their
lovers from all time; women will be
false to their lovers through all time"
But no woman has ever been so
false to her lover as this woman was to
me-"
Lots of 'em have"
mo; none could be"
"But | ;ell you thousands Of 'em
have. know one whose conduct to-
ward toward an intimate friend of
mine was. Why should you kill
yourself because one pretty woman
has played you false? Seek another
oue-a prettier one"
''In vain, in vain," he grosned; "she
was the only woman in the world that
cared iOr-the handsomest woman in
ali Paris. SIT"
%, b0sh. | know of a hundred hand
sOmer and more tender than she ever
could he. Y0h may think In the first