Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1879-05-10
HOW Inecac Came 70 Marry.


YOU ever get married? It's awful jolly.
/ was kind o. iraid at first to try it, but
I'm clad now, and wouldn't be unmar-
ried for a two'hundred-acre-iarm.
There's nothing like it. Don't suppose
YOU ever thought I'd get married. |
didn't either, cause I'm So innocent and
bashful like when in the society of ladies.
Nobody thought I'd get married. Don't
look like marrying; but looks are art
iul dodgers" still waters run deep.
I'm terribly quiet, am. Perhaps you d
like 10 know how l came to get married,
so IN tell you.
One evening | went to party at the
house of our minister. They didn't
have any dancin,' cause that's wicked,
but they PLAYED harmless games, IN
which the ladies and gentlemen kiss
each other. That isn't naughty II 1t IS
nice; though some one has said "kissin'
leads TO graver deeds In my case 1t
led 70 marriage.
As was saying, ut the party mean
the Young folks congregational meeting
there were heaps OF pretty girls, and
only a few real nice young men like me,
SO nearly all the girls were just crazy al
ter me. Ii do say it myself, | looked
very sweet. MY hair, which you know
Is a little on the Carmine color, was all
creased up with scented OK marrow, SO
il looked quite dark, and 1t was parted
i'm the middle, and my mustache was col
ored with injun ink; but l won't do
that again, il rubs off so on the girls.
/ had on nv new brown trousers and
nv purple coat, and a new white vest,
and a pink neCk-tie. Oh, l just looked
irresistible, tell you,-just like city
fplIOw-and they were awful mad and
Jealous. and said they guessed I'd been
studying the fashion-plate in some patent
medicine almanac.
Well. we played the pillows and
KEYS. and "bull in the ring" That
came where all hold on to a rope and
form a circle, with one perOn standln IN
the center. lie slaps some girls hand
and makes a dive for her; she runs and
me- after her. grabs and tears her clothes,
and kisses hcr. Then she does the same
thing to the young man.
think it's Just as rough on dresses,
and there is lust as much huggln' and
,uuceZin, not 10 speak OF the klSsln, as
there il I'm dancin' but then 1t ism
wicked like danCIn.!
There was at tat party one glri VINO
was lust peaches and cream. she was
about five feet high, and had Cinderella
feet. the prettiest you ever saw, and a
waist YOU could span-a lovely figure.
Her ewes were the color OF the blue
heavens. and they twinkled like stars
in the aforesaid heavens, Her crown
inc Glory. her hair, was long enough to
sit ON and was Of lovely LOckport vel
low. She lust froze to me, and | dldn
try bit To thaw from her.
Just the time to 20 home, she came to
me and remarked, lpecac, II you want
to see me home, III tell any one that
asks that pleasure that I'm engaged
shall / ?'
con. YES, do l said.
She lived quite a piece down the road,
and / enioyed the walk to her house,
but was awful lonesome coming back,
because had 10 pass a graveyard, ana
I don't like TO pass one ut night, alone
amt afraid, but il always makes me
think of my dead grandfather.
To return to Adelaide: Before i
kissed her goodnight she looked kind
a, swretlv on me, and she would mt
/ keen company with any other young
man If / wouldn't 90 % see any other
/ GIRL ON SUNDAY or Wednesday night.
IN we agreed. and the next Sunday
| I took her to meeting, and when we got
/ back home into the parlor, l sat IN
big rocking chair and she sat on anothei
/ chair, but pretty soon she said to me:
"Ipv dear, | don't believe you art
very strong.
Why / asked.
ooh. nothing" she said, "only !
/ thought il YOU were strong, you Woulu
/ ask me Ia sit on your lap.
/ told her | was an ambitious young
| man and I'd try TO hold her, so she
I came and sat down on me.
/ felt awful red in the face. Then she
nil She believed that | couldn't get my
arms around her. But ! did, and Sh'
mt her arrLs tight around me.
| After awhile, she said, .,
"Inv haven't YOU ever thought you q
like to get married. 1t must Oe spIen
| did IL
I told her | guessed no person wouI'
| Lave me when she said she wOuld-s'
Ne cot engaged right of, and IN two
weeks we got married, as Adie-l callet
her Adie. though her full name Is AIDE
Iaide Amelia Amanda-Said she dldn
believe in long engagements, there are
30 many slips between the teacup ant
/ the mouth.
Take NV advice, fellows, and get mar
ried. There's a girl somewhere Nlh'
a. hankcrin' after YOU. Hunt her up
and Join hands, il YOU want good time
/ I'm clad Pm married. 5 my vile.