Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1879-09-24
SIMPKINS' MISTAKE.
BY E. B. W.

BY Il. b. w.
Hubby, DEAR" observed Mrs. Snip
kins, mildly, one morning after break
fast.
Mr.. Simpkns Immediately put down
his newspaper and rammed both hands
into his trousers pockets. Twenty
years experience of married life had
made him willy, and he knew that this
bland form of address presaged per-
suasive attack on his pocketbook.
When Mrs. Simpkins wanted money,
she addressed him as hubby DEAR" in
their ordinary domestic intercourse he
was plain Mr. S." or "Simpkins.'
chubby, darling" said Mrs. Simp-
kins, 81 really must have new bonnet
this spring. am quite ashamed to go
into the street"
Mr.. Simpkins groaned.
IT saw one at Broadway store yes
terday," continued Mrs. s.. ga beautiful
thing, SO stylish and SO cheap-only
$14."
"That's always the tune" blurted
forth Mr.. Simpkins. Here's corrup-
ton in every department of the Gov
eminent; silver worth only SO cents on
the dollar, and-but what's the use of
talking economy to women?"
Mrs. Simpkins arose, and, passing
over to her husband, sat down in his
lap and put her arms around his neck.
She was no longer young. Her check
had lost something of its girlishness,
but there was in the action that which
recalled to Mr.. Simpkins the days of
long ago, when he was proud to hold
her thus, and when he would cheerfully
have paid for hundred bonnets a year
If she had asked for them.
"My DEAR" he said, relenting little,
edo you know what $14 will buy?"
Eyes" she said, simply, sit will buy
that bonnet
Mr.. Sim pkins sighed, and his pocket
book came slowly forth from his pocket
"There," said he, handing her the
money. Il can't see the sense in a
woman having so many bonnets; there's
whole barrel-full up in the attic now"
Mr.. Simpkins arose with a gesture of
Impotence, and, jamming on his hat,
stalked down town to his business. He
stopped on the way and bought SO
box Of cigars, and lunched at noon at a
fashionable restaurant, at an expense of
$3.50; but then these things were ne
cessities, and Mr.. Simpkins did not have
a barrel full of old cigars in the attic.
Whether it was the remembrance of
his wife's little act of girlishness sbat
morning, or whether his heart was
tinged with slight feeling of remorse
for his righteousness, MIR. Simpkins
took his way home up Broadway that
Womankind than lie had known for a
long time. In some way every woman
he met appeared attractive-a psyche
logical phenomenon which other men
besides Mr.. Simpkins have observed in
their own experience. In fact, there
was scarcely a woman who passed him
that afternoon whom Mr.. Simpkins did
nos notice, in respect either of eyes,
hair, teeth or dress.
At declare" he said to himself, II had
no idea there were so many pretty
women in New York.
But when Mr.. Simpkins reached
Tenth street, there descended from a
Twenty-Third street stage vision of
such perfect loneliness as made the heart
of Mr.. Simpkins fairly leap into bis
throat. Clad in what seemed to him the
most elegant and bewitching OF cos
tunes, and wearing the most piquant of
hats, tied beneath the chin with bow
of cherry-coloredr ribbons, the long ends
of which foated saucily over her shoul-
der, this celestial being tripped across
LIZ l,ox
skirts as she went, and displaying en-
PEASANT an ankle sufficiently bewitch
ing to cause Hiram Powers in despair
to smash to infnitesimal atoms all the
craven images he had ever attempted to
make. Mr.. Simpkins stopped short and
gazed after her. He was no longer a
young man, but the fire of youth still
smoldered in his breast, and seemed
now to burn with an ardor as fierce as
that of twenty years ago.
"By Jupiter!" he exclaimed, could
anything be more lovely?"
Without a moments hesitation he
crossed the street and entered Stewart's
in pursuit. At that moment he would
: have given the price of fifty bonnets fol
another single glimpse of that one with
cherry ribbons. But his search was
in vain-the lady had disappeared. UI
stairs and down, in the elevator, around
the rotunda, through every department
of the vast establishment went Mr.
Simpkins, SO many times that the clerks
began to eye him with curiosity not I'M
mixed with suspicion. At last, in des
pair, Mr.. Simpkins gave up the search
and sadly wendell his way homeward.
1t was Dream" he said to himself
softly-"an infatuating, beautiful dream
l might have known it could not last
At the supper-table that night MIR
Simpkins was unusually grave and re-
served. Bewildering kid button-boot'
stared at him from the sugar-bowl
cherry-colored bonnet-ribbons foateG
In his tea, the very napkins resolved
themselves into white petticoats will
the gnoWiest OF frills.