Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-07-25
Conicallties.


C0micalities.
In this world brayin' is too often
taken for brain.-BoSton Transcript
Dumping down rope" is what they
call hanging in Nevada.
The way some farmers put up corn
is shocking.-Ne,O York Herald.
Many mans anti-profanity resolu-
ton will 60 out on Cincinnati
Gdaette.
Dead men tell no tales, because their
tombstones do it for them iSteubeniHe
Herald.
Indians have begun to commit sui
eide, which clearly dlsproves the theory
that they can't be ciyilizeG.-Boston
Post.
Is Life Worth Living" is the title OF
a new book by bilious Englishman.
Let MIN ask an easy one. Is death
worth dying. Orleans Picayatne
An epitaph on a lady buried in Tar
rington churchyard says;
" She was-but words are wanting to say what,
Think what n woman should be-she was that"
-WheeLing Sunday Ledder.
Chats relation of yours, isn't it p
said man to his wife, at the same time
pointing, to donkey. eyes, by mar
riage," was her singing reply
Grandmother: "Now, Minnie, what
is the plural of penny" Minnie:
"Pural of penny, Grandma? Why,
twopence, of course. Fun
Old lady: "Ah, you bad boy, drag
GIN yolr little brother along like that.
S'posin' you was to kill him p Bad Boy:
Don't care; got another indoors"
IL had no time to stuff the chicken"
apologized landlady to her boarders.
"Never mind, madam, otis tough
enough rs it is" replied one of them.'
New York Telegram.
A sparkling young debater, in II
flight of eloguence, exclaimed: Mr..
President the world is divided into two
grent classes, the learned and the I'M
learned, one of whom | am which,"
mo, darling said the undertaken to
his wife, 81 can't afford to give you n
silk dress Mt present. Just wait n few
weeks until green apples are in the
market"
"Whcn the swallows homeward n.y.
"When the bloom Is on The rye"
And the corn is gently waving Annie dear"
| II will meet you at the gate"
Though IL may be- rather late,
| And Tor the Tooth time pour taly in your ear.
l.0nkerS gazette.
"When | wath little boy" lisped
very stupid society man to young
lady, call my ideath in life were them
tered on being a clown" "Well, there
is at least one case Of gratited ambi-
ton" was the reply.
Any father who would go out and
put tar on top of his front gate after
dark must be lost to all sense of hui
mainly and ordinary responsibility
Detroit Free Press. 1t is unnecessary,
too; they'll stay there long enough
without being stuck there Boston Post.
1t is announced in Washington, says
the Jersey City journal, that DIR. Mary
Walker will make her appearance di-
rectly in knee breeches. The portion
below the knee being so slender rs to be
invisible will give the Doctor the inn
pressive appearance of an angel float
ing in the air.
The champion long nosed man re-
sides ut Sacramento. Its owner was
at breakfast, when friend, seated on
the opposite side of the table, knowing
him to be II little near-sighted, re-
marked: There's fly on the end of
your nose" us thereY" responded the
owner of the horn of plenty. 81 didn't
know 1t. Just please scare him off;
you're nearer to him than.I am.
A Lowell lady, sending u basket to
her daughter in Boston by express, was
so solictious that it should go through
expeditiously that she inclosed note
in the basket requesting her daughter
to leave an order for the expressman
to meet the basket at the depot. Fact
-LoneH Courier.
At II legal investigation of liquor
seizure the judge asked an unwilling
witness "What was in the barrel that
you had?" The reply was "Well,
your Honor, it was marked whisky on
one end of the barrel and Pat Dufiey'
on the other end, SO that can't say
whether it was whisky or Pat Duffey
was in the barrel, being as am on my
oath"
1 The gallery OF the Paris Louvre
seems to be a school Of morals as we'll
as art. A mother in showing her little
boy the Venus of Milo, was asked by
him, what did they cut her arms off
for y Because she put her fingers in
the sugar bowl, was the reply. Little
Jaeky secretly resolves to be no longer
liable to such a terrible intlictlon.
"Bub, did you ever stop to think,
said grocer. recently, as he measured
out half peck Of potatoes, that these
potatoes contain sugar, water and
lstarch?' "Noa, didn't replied the
boy; "but heard mother say that you
put peas and beans III your coffee, and
about pint Of water in every quart Of
milk you sold The subject of natural
philosophy was dropped right there.