The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-07-03
PASSING SMILES.

TRUTH may be stranger than fiction,
| but fiction is the most interesting
People never do like strangers.
A STREET musician with clean face
and combed hair came into the village,
Saturday, and almost created panic
Turner's Falls Reporter. ai!a f.'.,....
The world is made up of two kinds of
people-those who work and those who
spend all their time in getting ready to
work.-Boston Transcript. g, saf .ts
!" CRAB cider" and g medicated lem
onade are cautiously creeping into the
ice cream saloons of the anti-license
towns in Iowa. ! % '-'' "
This is the season of the year when
the little boy is more afraid of the
warmth of his mothers slipper than he
is of the GOODNESS of the water.
A YOUNG artist has painted the
picture of a dog under tree, and the
work is so artistically done that none
but the best connoisseurs can tell the
bark Of the tree from thatof the dog
"GIvE me your hand" said the school
master sternly. %" And my heart, too"
she replied meekly. Being pretty, her
soft answer efectually turned away his
wrath. -.
SENTIMENT from lady's album: GA
woman looks upon her husband as
charming being during two months of
her life--the MOI tn before she marries
him and the month after she buries
him. French Witticism.
81 EDO you see that stick, sir?" said
very stupid acquaintance of Sidney
Smith. "This stick has been all around
the world, sir" "IndeedW said the
remorseless Sidney, " and yet it is moth
ing but stick" 'H2.5iy@ .n a s.
AN exchange defines watering places
and strangers" 1t may be added that
there are some watering places where
fish and strangers are synonymous
terms.-Rome Sentinel.
SUNSET.
Lo. purple isles with many-tinted trees
In the gold and crimson west;
And in the harbors Tapped in rest,
Anchored fleets of pearly -pinioned argosies.
IT'S our slowly-fading glimpse OF heavens light
As the jasper gate unbars.
And the moon and flock of stars -
Wander out upon the pastures of the night.
AMERICAN girls chewed up seventy
tons of gum last year. One-half of it
can be found to-day sticking under
mantel-sheives. The other half was
carried away and lost by the young men
who 60 courting.
MAGIsTRATE-"Do you know if the
prisoner had any provocation before he
committed the ASSAULT" Witness
swell, sir, I cannot be certain on that
point exactly, but I dare say he might
have had a glass or two"
The old gentleman looked out of the
front window the first warm moonlight
evening, and the faint vision Of two
forms down near the sidewalk caused
him to remark with sigh: " All!
they've struck their old gate again.
NorHINe like figures. Know ye that
three thousand seven hundred and
eighty ore people in India lost their ives
last year by not having supply Of
whisky on hand when bitten by snakes?
Delays are dangerous. So are snakes.
Detroit Free Press. rr.. n.-.a..i .
A LEGAL gentleman met brother
lawyer one day last week, and the fol-
lowing conversation took place: Well,
Judge, how is business % Dull, dull;
1 am living on faith and hepe." every
good, but | have got past you, for I'm
living on charity" 90 ,aa .L'-Gt 81
You'll hardly ever see man forget
| friend that owes him, though he's no
| akin; you'll hardly ever see woman
bet and pay the wager should the other
win; you'll hardly ever see a pensive
goat that cannot eat wooden cellar
door; you'll hardly ever hear an urchin
quote the "hardly ever from the Pima
| fore.-Neao York Tribune.
A POOR crofter who had scant pasture
for his pet COW, one day tethered her on
the summit of a barren hiliock on his
bit of land, where sand and stones were
far more plentiful than vegetation, and,
looking around him, exclaimed, "Weel,
Rosie, if you haven't muckle to eat, you
have at any rate splendid view!''
IF you have no faith in top-dressing
! lands, Just notice the effects produced
by the small quantity of manure shaken
off the load in crossing moving field
or better still, take just a little tract of
only a few rods in field partially run
out, and give it, moderate coating of
decomposed manure and then watch the
result. If it does not greatly increase
the product, it will be one. OF the won
ders of the world. .- r.. ss ia