Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-07-18

:
True IS Gospel" | repeated, en-,
phatically.
" Then lets have another beer" said
he. Excuse me. Can't you lend me
y quarters | am completely out Of
funds"
Certainly, I'll lend YOU i quarter,
or dollar either, it Won want il. But
take my advice, You have AN open
countenance, and seem 10 BE n bright,
industrious Young man, and hate to
see You throw yourself away on q girl
totally unworthy Of YOU
Thank YOU said he. I'm pitch
her out Of my affections without further
ceremony. Poor Susan, She is SO
very lively, and 50 good looking"
Yes said |, pretty god looking
barring her nose
"NoseY' said he. AYES, admit
her nose Is whopper. | don't know
which is the longest, her nose or her
tongue. However, Ill 80 back and
say goodbye 70 Susan, and then, fare.
well, sweet girl-arewell forever"
| think he would have taken my adj
vice, and parted from Susan forever, If
he had not 81 reaching my house, on.
countered his rival, Pete Poverty, on
the doorstep. At this sight all his
former love returned with tentold
strength, and he wanted 10 take OF his
coat, and have il cut with Poverty ON
the spot. Not wishing to disturb the
neighbors hy y quarrel or a fight, took
Junker by the arm and forced hmm
around the corner to the beer saloon
again, where told him To wait until
went back and got Poverty, and then
would have the saloon.keeper give lis
the use OF an upper room, where the
two gentlemen might settle their dith.
Guilty without police interference. Jun.
ker, who was game" to the backbone,
at once consented to this arrangement,
and | went in quest OF Poverty.
| found him in my parlar, seated on
the sofa, with his arm around Miss
Susan's waist, | hNd no difficulty i'll
persuadiag him to beat II haSty retreat,
when told him that Junker was hunt.
ing him. advised him that the best
thing he could do would 10 to takea
promenade for an hour or so with Miss
Susan and then return-that | had
Junker Gagged around the corner, where
he would be safe until they got out OF
sight. ] promised to bring lnnker
around after they were COMO, and show
him that the enemy had He'd, when he
would seek for Poverty in other hamts,
and the danger would he past. They
Mt once acted on my suggestion, aud
went out together, and that is the way
| got rid of them.
When they were gone, locked the
door and closed the shutters. Lin about
half mn hour Junker returned, and be-
gan to storm for adpiittance. procured
bucket OF cold water, carried il
TO the second story front window. and
soon cooled Junker's youthful ardor.
He went down the street, locking like
one of Pharaohs followers after that
adventure in the Red Sen. About
half.past ten Miss Susan and Poverty
returned | agar. went to the second
story front, where | held n highly diplo-
matte conversation with them.
What do you want |" inquired.
I'VE want to get in" said Miss Susan.
You don't get III here tonight"
replied.
why not?' she asked.
because you're n. &. We don't
want you any more
"rhen come down and pay me my
wages" said she.
"Wages!n exclaimed. "How did
you earn any wages2'
didn't nuss your haby2' SHE
asked.
Eyes, YOU did 'nuss' him. The poor
child might have cried his giz1ard out
for NIL you did for him. Here, I'll give
you fifty cents, aud then want you 10
clear out, and never show your face in
this neighborhood again"
"But won't you give me u recon-
mendation r she asked.
"No, won't give you anything. Not
even house-room. Recommend you?
Why, don't know what you're good
for, unless II is sitting for u wax figure in
the show-window of ready-made snit
store, and you're not good Tor that, for
il would be impossible for you to Sit mp.
right ten minutes at II time, without
falling over and going to sleep. No,
nol-Clear out! We don't want you.
Ii we want any more servants, we shall
not nave any more indolent, good-for-
nothing, beau-crazy, impudent, half
grown girls, for Of all the denominations
on earth, they are too
was going to say something very
wicked, hut my utterance was cut short
by stone, which Mr.. Poverty hurled
from the street, and which struck me IN
the mouth. After he did that, he ran,
and Susan ran after him. Tho stone
got into my throat, and lodged there,
nearly choking mt, and by the time !
got il out, and reached the front door,
both Poverty and Susan had disappear
ed, and vigorous hunt in the neigh
borhood failed 10 discover either Of
them. For time was afraid | would
be obliged TO wear artificial teeth in the
future, but think | am all right now.
AS for Mrs. Jinks, the next day she
gave up housc.cleaning in disgust, and
very sensibly hired couple Of stalwart,
able.bodied women to do i for her.
That is whe.t she should have done in
the first place, and then all our troubles
and tribulations with the balfgrown
girl would had been avoided. -Ihtiioei.