The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-08-09
NUMBER II.
PASSING SMILES,

FIND out what men laugh at and you
know exactly how refined and intelligent
they are.-Neao Orleans Picayme.
A GOOD constitution is like money
box-its full value is never known till Il
Is broken.
Boy with donkey" Go for a ride,
sir?' Jones'" Nice figger I'd look on q
donkeyw Boy" Yes, sir; cut bout for
donkey, l should say, sir"
FREQUENT disappointments teach us
to mistrust our own inclinations, and
shrink even from VOWS our hearts may
prompt.
EMERSON never packed more sense
into a sentence than when he wrote,
"Good manners are made up of petty
sacrifices"
DEACON RICHARD SMITH is response
BILE for the observation that the great
beauty of hanging murderess is that il
prevents her from lecturing."
SOME one in Boston has invented q
new style of boys trowsers, which ID
highly recommended. They have
copper seat, sheet iron knees, are riveted
down in the seams, and have water
proof pockets to hold broken eggs.
BEWARE of little thingsl A black
seed no larger than pin point will grow
an onion that may faint the breath
enough to break up betrothal, ruin a
school, and shatter the good intentions Of
sewing circle. ~
The grape crop Of Ohio will not pan
out frst-class this year, but don't you
imagine, says the Detroit Free Press,
that this will make the least difference
with the number Of gallons of wine de-
handed Grapes are not necessary to
wine.
A PAPER in Memphis related case Of
a beautiful young lady, the daughter of
wealthy parents, clipping with an editor.
That is as it should be. We thought all
along that young ladies would eventually
recover from the coachmen mania and
aspire to the nobility again.
THE base ball fever is raging in Rhode
Island The only difficulty in playing
the game there is that the center and
right fielders have to stand in Massachu-
sets and the left in Connecticut, while
the catcher is in danger Of backing of
into the Atlantic Ocean.
IT makes poet crazy-after he has
spent years in Europe studying to per-
feet himself--to write some beautiful
aleaics or hendeca syllabics, and after
wards discover that some furniture
dealer has used his climax with altera-
tions as an advertisement.
THE tails of nearly all the mules seen
in Middletown lately according to tho
Press, are closely clipped of hair, With
the exception Of little brush left at
the end 1t is said this style Of clip il
sure death to all flies who take up their
summer quarters within reach Of that
brush.
WHEN man is found in New York
with six stabs in the back, his head
crushed, one arm hacked off, his pockets
rihed and his body stripped Of nearly all
its clothing, the finest police in the world
Immediately form theory. They say it
is clear case Of suicide -Norristoa0n
Herald. ff2e
A PHYSICIAN, having duel on his
hands, requests two Of his friends to ar
range with his adversary the hour OF
their meeting. "Make it tomorrow
cause / must visit four patients before
going to the ground" II see" murmurs
one Of the seconds, che wants to get his
hand in" EiAa
THERE was hand-organ grinding forth
the "Sweet By and By" Then there
came heavy dash of rain, and then the
organ stopped. 1t was very simple
matter, but it is beautiful to think of.
And people who think we have had too
much rain in the past month are trying
to look more hopefully on the subject.
-Ddnbury Neacs
THE session verging on July,
When Lamar to Conkl,ng says, " You lie"
Says Conkling to Lamar,
" You Southern defamer,
II twant the Senate, *
In one holy minute, - I. "
I'd call you chuckle-headed, knock-kneed, chicken
breasted crooked -backed shad-bellied hook-nosed,
wamble-cropped weazen-faced bow-legged, blear-
eyed, pock-marked, lopeared, lantern-awed, splay-
footed,
bald headed snipe Of the valley; fla
i would as I'm going
10 BIO next Presidentin --Wan Whtfusan.
NEW YORK dealers threaten to put
up the price of ice. They say the crop
has been badly widowed. This next
thing you know some fellow will invent
bug or worm that will attack and
chew up half Of the harvested crop about
this time Of the year. Ice is about the
only crop raised now that isn't injured
by bug or worm of some kind, and it
can't expect to enjoy this immunity
much longer.-Novvistoon Herald. ssl