The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-09-10
The MORRETOWN GAZETTE
WEDNESDAY. SEP. 10. 1879.
BRIC-A-BRAC.
He Plays the Orator and Tells of
the Great Demonstration

inst, alIudes to speeches made by
Gen. Fulkerson and Capt. Patterson.
Having but lately perpetrated a
speech in the same locality before
Prof. Mauard's scholars) it is but
fair for me to state that although in
rank between the two. am in fact
the kernel-the other two fellows
are the shells. Still, in q country
of tltlee. had we justice we should
all three be Field Marshals. My
audience was the elite of Tazewell
the entire bar thereof and Prof.
Ms scholars. Ny subject was ''The
Alphabet is it not like many other
things, going through great deal to
get very Iittle?" My platform was
a trife small-a step one way took
you out The second-story window.
another, down stairs by the nigh
shute. On the right was batch of
boys with too little respect for the
alphabet or old age, to care durn
either way. but in front was the bar
and the ladies. God bless them !
(The ladies-not the barr
/ arose amid a dead silence, slow.
ly raising my head / commenced:
"'Tis sweetly solemn thought X ~
About that time my head was up
and everybody was on broad grin.
Thinks I, by jacks, this wont do.
Extending my right arm, and look
ing through the window over at Rab.
bit town, said persuasively, when
for the first time we take these I'M
licked cubs by the back of the neck
\ +" A burst Of applause startled
me. and down / sat, saying, ''Good
people, I'm not joking" Prof. NJ.
then rose, Colonel, you must ex-
cuse as, but we are so apt to look
for something humorous. &C." Oh,
we'll, Professor. I'm in earnest this
pop. The audience put on their
mourners' bench faces. One fellow
turned slowly around with look Of
disgust, crossed his legs, rammed
his left hand between his knees and
saIuted a comrade sitting three
benches back. by putting his right
thumb to ais nose. Both Masons.
reckon. Bnt this isn't all. ] forgot
myself and got off several splendid
jokes. and the men groaned while
the ladies put their handkerchief to
their eyes.
1 commenced with the young fry.
children, you have, no doubt, wor-
ried over the alphabet and wondered
what it was ever made for. 1t may
be to you q source of comfort to
learn that it bothered those who in
vented it deal worse. In its pres.
emit shape it is entirely unlike the
original characters. and letters by
themselves are meaningless. They
have to be stuck together in the form
of words to have any sense, and, in
some hands. have none then. The
letter "A," for instance, is from the
Greek "alpha;" that, from the He.
brew "aleph." Aleph. in the He
brew or Phenician tongue, means
''bulrs head" Now. my young
if | tell you the first alpha
bette were bulls head, / presume
you can tell me what the last alpha
bette wereF' Thusly did l address
the small fry. To the young ladies,
said:
Letters, my cherubics, are not
those delicately folded, pink.tinted.
tidbits you forward
through cautious juveniIes-neither
such as you send "pap'' and "maw."
Letters are hieroglyphics--and some
folk write as if they were. A HERO
is thingumbob-a whatu.
macalum, known to but few. I en-
deavored to join that few but being
they black-balled me.
We speak of men of letters-par ex.
ample, Senator Lamar. When we
say Lucius Quintus Curtius Lamar,
that is the Senator. but when we
write L. Q. C. Lamar, that is the
man Of letters. But, my doves, I
will not spoil your naps-sleep gen.
,ly-yon have a half hour yet"
Turning to the young men, and
winding my bric-a-brac nose to the
of Jericho !" thus
|
Comrades of my toll. among
whom / see so many moustaohios J
nd handsome burnsides, tbs years q
ince last we met-how are you? .
III well, l hope. My young law :
ers, / miss several familiar faces. :
Where is John Essary (the serious)
nd that man who was shot all to p
ieces and put together again Il
he Professor here remarked Six =
zen ofmy young men are teaching ;,
,hool." "Ah, I'm very glad to ',
now it; but intelligent remnant of a
oung manhood, interspersed with "
e guard led by Bismarck, I must
y something to you, although the - ),
,ur is eyentide. Books are made ii