davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10
Incidence.

When young Aime Maillard was at
college, the professor of rhetoric gave
the class as subject "a Eulogy of In
dolence." K
On the given day the compositions
were handed in, and the professor, after
casting his eye over the papers, re-
marked:
IN. Mailiard, where is your essay
I don't see it among these"
Didn't I hand it to you? I beg
your PARDON" said the student, and
passed up a neatly-folded package of
manuscript.
The professor opened it, turned over
the pages, got very red, and exclaimed (:
Sirrah, this is miserable joke.
This paper is blank--not word in
eulogy of Incidence anywhere on it."
"Oh, I thought that the highest
eulogy of incidence I could give" re-
piled the student, "would be not to
write anything."-Paris paper.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10

The true Briton is about as fond of
his beer as of his beef. As most of the
"roast beef of Old England F" now comes
from this country, the Britisher clings
the closer to his beer, which he feels
sure could not be equaled by the Amer
lean article. His eyes have been opened
lately, and he is appalled, to find that
the beer he has been drinking is adul-
terated to such an extent that there is
nothing left of the genuine article in it.
Britain drinks about one billion one
hundred million gallons of beer every
year, and the amount of poison swal-
lowed in this quantity must be enormous.
The principal or legitimate constituents
of the various kinds of beer are water,
alcohol, sugar, gum, gluten and the bit
ter extract of hops, the amount of alco-
hol ranging from one to ten per cent,
according to the quality of the beverage.
But as it believed to be more profitable,
pecuniarily, to debass beer than to man.
ufacture it pure, caramel (burned
sugar. is added for color; cocculus in
dicus for intoxicating effect, which is
mistaken for strength; quassia for bit
terness, as substitute for hops; Cay
enne pepper and grains of paradise, for
pungency; coriander and caraway seeds,
for flavor; icorice, molasses, or honey,
for consistence, and often green vitriol
(sulphate of iron) or alum and commen
salt, for effervescence.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10

among the people by enacting afirma.
tive laws, but by repeating obnoxious
ones and went back to the days of iyrants
for his quotations. The speech, which was
delivered with great force, notified
the country that the Democrats
will remain here during the period of the
constitutional life of Congress, March 4.
1880, unless these laws are repealed, mean.
while Withholding supplies; and to warn
anv weak kneed brethren from the North
within the Democratic party that they must
follow to the end. Their policy is no sur
render.
In the House, April 4, the general debate
was resumed earlier than usual. Mr..
and raised a laugh by describing how two
political parties in the Fl use after waging
bitter partisan war during the week, met
together every Saturday. and voted like
brothers to carry over the session till Tues.
day, SO as to prevent the party of the center
from introducing measures of financial re-
lief. Msssrs. De LaMartyr, Jones, Wright,
Hawley, and Randolph Tucker, also ezasde
speeches. At the close of Mr.. fuckers
speech, the debate closed, and the bill
was considered under the fve-minute
rule. Mr.. Garfield made some remarks, at
the close of which he expressed his willing
ness to help the Democrats wipe from the
statute DOoK the law auCn0rlzlng the use OF
the army at the polls. A bill for that pur-
pose sho1ld be introduced in a regular man
ner. Mr.. Rev offered an amendmt mt pro-
viding that nothing in the section shall be
construed as abridging or affecting the duty
or power of the President under the Consti
tuition to send troops on application of the
Legislature or Executive of State. Mr.
Baker, of Indiana, offered an amendment to
the amendment, making it unlawful for any
person to have on bis person firearms,
bowie knives, clubs or bludgeons, in the
vicinity of place where an election is be-
ing held. The Chairman in ruling out
Bakers amendment as not german to an
army bill, encountered good share Of op-
position from Mr.. Conger, against whom he
threatened TO call in the services of the Ser
geant-at-Arms, to which Mr.. Conger replied
with defiance. Finally, however, the angry
passions subsidized, the committee rose, and
the House, after order ng all debate on the
bill and amendments to close at half-past
twelve o'clock tomorrow, took a recess till
eleven O'Clock tomorrow.
In the House, April 5, after two hours
debate, the Army Appropriation Bill was
passed by strict party vote, all but two of
the Greenbackers voting with the Demo-
Gratis. The vote stood 148 to 122 against the
bill. The names of the Greenbackers who
voted with the Democrats are: De La
Matyr, Ford, Gillette, Jones, Lsdd Lowe,
Murch, Stevenson, Weaver, and Yocum.
Messrs. Barlow and Forsyth voted with the
against the bill.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10
Fame Awaits Him.

Many persons are evidently bound to
fill exalted positions, the buds of genius
showing themselves almost as soon as
the chosen one is out of his nurses
arms. Many of our most eminent
statesmen gave evidence in their youth
of the possession of superior talents,
which eventually placed them upon the
very pinnacle of fame. A San Fernando
street boy has brilliant future before
him, and, if he is not one day ranked
high among the noble army of news
paper paragraphers, this deponent has
utterly failed to read the signs Alright.
He came bounding into the house the
other day, and, approaching hismother
asked:
"Ma, will candy rot folkses teeth?"
eyes, Willie, it will indeed, and I do
not want you to eat any of the injurious
stuff"
The embryo laugh-builder was silent
for quite while, evidently rehearsing in
his mind the continuance of the con-
versation, and getting his queries in a
shape that would enable him to steer
clear of all pitfalls. Finally, he oon-
timed:
will it rot girls teeth, too?"
Certainly, my dear"
Another silence, and more mentalfg-
uring, and then he asked:
"Ma, Rotterdam isn't bad word, is
it?"
"Oh, no, Willie, that is the name of a
foreign city. You will find it in your
geography"
"Well, you wouldn't lick Teller for
talking about it, would you?"
"Most certainly not"
Honest Injun, you wouldn't? and
bis face bore an expression of deep
esrnestness. as
"Of course not; why do you ask such
questions?" @ r
"Well, Mary Dawson is coming over
here to tell on me. She had whole
two-bits' worth of candy and wouldtn'
give me bite, so told her to jist eat
it herself an I hoped it would Rotter-
dam teeth out" He escaped chastise-
ment, but the moral lesson read to eJH.
as awill serve guide-post throughhim =
San Jose (Cnl) Herald.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10
Startling Reports Of Loss in Life and
Property.

The Sioux City Journal of a late day
has startling reports of the rayages of de-
structive prairie fires up the Big Sioux
Valley and throughout Southern Dakota
The fires were of unusual force and destruc.
tive beyond precedent. Poles on the tee-
graph line on the Sioux City and Pembina
Railroad were burned so the line has been
down and reports from that quarter are not
Sioux City, tells narrowing tales of
the losses in that quarter. From his
store door (the town occupying an elevated
position), he counted thirteen farm houses
in flames, and he says more than forty in
that vicinity have lost everytbing-houses,
barns, seed, grain, etc. The flames travelled
with such rapidity that people were unable
to save anything. The stricken people are
dazed by the terrible blow that has fallen
on them.
A large Norwegian Church, five miles
from Eden, was burned. In the same
neighborhood child, it is reported, was
fatally burned, and its father was terribly
burned in his efforts to save the child's
life.
Northwest of Beloit, a Norwegian named
Nicholson, while working to save his prop.
erty, was caught in the fire and SO badly
burned that he cannot live. It is reported
that two other men in the same locality
were burned to death.
In the vicinity of Portlandville, it is said
that not less than twenty farmers lost their
hay, grain, etc.
West of Elk Point, Fri Richardson lost
a large amount of grain. A school house,
with all the books and contents, was also
burned.
At White Swan, opposite Fort Randall,
the telegraph Office with all its effects was
burned, as the operator reports from Yank-
ton Agency. At the same place the Gov.
ernment stables were burned, but the stock
was saved.
Altogether, immense damage has been
done, and the hardships to the settlers is
particularly severe. The grass grew very
has made it powerful food for fire.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10
Wanted a White Spirit.

An Indian carried the dead body of
his sister to the top of a hill at Rose
bud, Neb., and stationed himself by 1T
with rifle in his hands, intending to
kill tie first white man who came with
in range, SO that white spirit might
accompany her to the happy hs2tng-
grounds. He stood there six hours, mr.
ing occasional but harmless shots at
distant persons. Then a white man
who had lived many years among the
Indians, and whose wife was squaw,
walked unsuspectingly that way. The
Indian shot him in the breast, and was
satisfied. But the wounded man recov-
cred, and accepted thirteen horses, forty
blankets, and an apology in settlement.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10
FOREIGN SUMMARY

The rinderpest increases in Bohemia.
Several hundred places are now affected.
Agriculture in many places is at stand
still, draught cattle being locked up
wherever the disease occurs.
THE contractor for the st. Gothard Tun.
mel announces that he feels constrained to
partially stop the work, as he is receiving
three hundred Thousand francs less per
month than was stipulated should be paid.
A DISPATCH from Rio Janeiro SAYS
Chilian troops have disembarked in Bo-
livia, and have occupied Cobija. They are
also advancing inland, and have entered
Colomo and Tocapilla.
A SQUADRON of the Tenth Hussars was
swept away by the current while crossing
Cabul River, near Emellalabade, on the 31st
of March. A Lieutenant and forty men are
missing. Sixteen bodies have been recoy.
cred.
A VIENNA dispatch states the rinderpest
has spread to hundred villages in Bohe-
mia. The infected points have been sur
rounded by military forces. The Govern.
ment has resolved to discontinue precau.
tions against plague in Russia.
1HE terrible storms which generally pre-.
vailed in Europe this winter caused es.
pecial damage in Switzerland. The Vaudois
forest inspectors have raised their estimate
of the damage sustained by the Canton in
the storm of a single day to four millions
of francs. In the district of Lausanne
alone four hundred thousand trees were
destroyed.
THE report of an Englishman sent by
Rivers Wilson to inquire into the famine in
Upper Egypt, shows by statistics that ten
thousand persons died by starvation alone
in Girgh, Kena and Esna. The famine
which was really money famine, caused
by over taxation, has now terminated, but
has left disastrous consequences. If SINH
lar taxation continues, and another partial
failure in the rise Of the Nile occurs, it will
cause a famine worse than the last.
AN Egyptian officer sent to break up the
slave dePots ut Bahrel Gazal and Kordofan
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10

"ALcoHoL is never food" says DIR.
Willard Parker in recent article.
There is a nutritious element in fer
mented liquors, he comedies, but it
amounts to little practically. The only
injury possible from pure fermented
beverages is from excessive use; but I" SO
one may get the gout by eating to ex-
cess of beefstcak, or kidney difficulty by
eating too much meat and taking too
little exercise. But the great harm
both to the individual and to society
comes from the use of distilled liquors,
in which the alcohol is extracted by an
artificial process, and used separately
from the combination in which God and
nature have put it," DIR. Parker will
not concede any possible good in the use
of distilled drink. 1t adds nothing to
the substance of the body. It's never di
gested. 1t adds nothing to the forces of
the body. On the contrary, it weakens
force. 1t acts as an irritant, and it di-
minishes force by compelling the body
to put forth efforts in order to get rid of
the intruder" The average life of those
who either practice total abstinence or
confne themselves to a moderate use of
iermented liquors is estimated by the
writer at sixty-four years, while that of
Incorporate persons, "those who habit
ually drink alcoholic liquors. using them
not merely at meals but at different
hours during the day." is put down at
only thirty-six.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10

Ex-CoNGREssMAN Peddle, of New
Jersey, states that during recent visit
to Ireland, he could not fail to notice
the demand for American goods. The
preference for them over those manu-
factured in England amounted almost
to enthusiasm among the people, and
this feeling is rapidly growing. The
largest hardware store in the city of
Dublin has prominently displayed on
the sign, American Ironmonger the
word ironmonger" being used in that
country in the same sense that "hard-
ware merchant" is here.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10

The civil tribunal of the Seine has
confirmed the claim of a Madame de
Rabinwich TO be the legitimate daughter
of n wealthy Russian by the name of
Garfudksl, who lately died in Paris,
leaving his property to his widow and
an adopted daughter, Madame de
Wouytch. 1t was shown that she was
the offspring of prior marriage con-
tracted in 1878; that she was born in
1920, and that the deceased concealed
the fact of her existence. She will there
fore receive half the fortune of a father
who had for many years virtually dis
owned her.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10
Hebrews in Congress.

A New York paper refers to Edward
Einstein, Congressman-elect from the
Seventh district, as the second Israeli
ite who has been elected to Congress
from that city. The first was Emanuel
H. Hart, elected in 1861. Henry M.
Phillips, prominent Hebrew of Phila-
delphia, was elected to Congress in
1857 and reelected in 1859. Boston
elected Leopold Morse to the present
Congress and has rejected him. There
have been two Israelites in the Senate.
J,.assh.. T. Benjamin, of Louisiana,
served from 1868 to 1861, when he
withdrew, and subsequently took part
in the Rebellion. David L. Yulee, of
Florida, was elected for three successive
terms, serving from 1S45 to 1861. He,
too, was prominent in secession. He
was political prisoner in Fort Pulaski
in 1865, but was released in 1866.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10
Bismarck's Pig.Sticking.

When the German law against the
Socialists was first passed, it is said that
Prince Bismarck burst out with, "Now,
off we go for the pig-stickingP C"Jetzt
geht die Sauhatz los"O. And. apparent
", the chase has been tolerably active,
for 1877 clubs and societies, and fifty
eight periodicals, as well as 210 non
periodical publications, have been sup
pressed. In addition to this, sixty-two
persons have been banished. The be-
lief in Germany is that the law has been
really success, in the sense of driving
Socialism out of the field.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10
VOLUME VII.

name postage stamp collecting is desig-
mated. The missionaries in India are
said to be able to reclaim from the heart
less Hindoo parents the little babies
they are accustomed to sacrifice before
their idols, by trading postage stamps
for them. For some reason these bar
barians covet these paper tokens, either
to oHor to their gods after the manner
Of the Chinese, or to decorate their huts.
This fact becoming known in England,
has worked a change in the economy of
Cancelled stamps. There are charity
schools in England to which admittance
is gained by presenting certain number
of defaced stamps. Large counting
houses throughout the realm carefully
preserve every envelope, and the junior
clerks make it their business to soak off
the Queens heads and paste them on
huge rolls of wall paper. They are pre-
sented to some worthy lad. who makes
an exchange of them for learning.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10

WURTEMBERG, in Germany, is often
visited by terrible hailstorms. In some
parts of the country whole districts seem
to be exempted from the land tax on ac-
count of the damage caused by the hail.
And these hailstorms are apparently be-
coming more destructive. AS regards
liability to being visited, it appears
that pine woods enjoy comparative i'm
munity, while beech woods and bare
hillsides are particularly unfortunate.
The parishes most frequently devastated
lie on the outskirts of wooded hills, but
it does not appear that clearance of a
wood has any deleterious influence. The
valleys Of the Neckar and some other
rivers are the least troubled by this an
nOyance. w ~
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10

IT is a noteworthy fact, says the
Baltimore Sm, that the medical schools
of New York, Philadelphia, and Balti-
more alone have turned out this season
total of nearly if not quite one thou
sand doctors, besides goodly number
of dentists. The Medical Record, in
commenting on this rapid increase in
the number of practitioners, says that
the proportion of medical students to
the populationin in 1910 was one to Il, 900 /;
in 1S4O, one to $500; in 1871, one to
500, and in 1877, one to 400; while
the proportion Of theological and law
students has increased only about one
tenth ms fast. The Record fears that
oycr-compeiition will beget envy,
poverty and dishonesty, and work harm
to the community, and that medical
ethics will cease to exist when the pro-
portion of physicians to population Il
one to four hundred of population. 1t
remains to be seen whether this shocking
prophecy will be fulfilled.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10

ONE of the most ruinous habits of
the Russian peasants is displayed at
marriage celebrations. A peasant, to
celebrate the marriage of his son, pro-
cures twenty-five gallons of whisky, to
get money for which he sells his horse,
COW, or pigs, and is ready to become a
pauper. LIE cannot resist the practice,
for custom requires that the population
of the village, men, women, and child
rem, must get drunk. A rich peasant,
at the marriage festival, will procure
one hundred gallons of whisky, and the
neighboring villages arc invited to take
part in the carousal
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10

JAPAN loves the postal card. This
cheap and useful device was introduced
into japan three years ago, and last
year over 10000, 900 cards were used.
Foreign mail matter is increasing so fast
in Japan that before long it must break
down the exclusiveness CT that country.
In 1876, $4,000 letters were received
from foreign parts. Last year the num-
ber was l5s, ,2O3. The postal department
is conducted with great honesty, only
nineteen money letters being lost last
year, containing $3.50, which was made
good to the owners by the government.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10

WHEN the great Russian plague of
1771 had carried off three-fourths of the
people of Moscow it was checked by the
frost. Expecting that it would break
out again in the spring, Catherine III
commissioned Count Orloff to destroy
all the clothing and rags left by the vic
Tins of the scourge. The Count knew
that even despotic power could not CON-
pei the people to obey this order prop
erly, so he set up in the rag business.
"The highest price paid for cast-off
clothing" Clothing bought ana no
questions asked" were among the
tempting official advertisements of the
day. Thieves and scavengers were his
industrious allies. Bonfires of clothing
were made, and the houses and streets
were cleared and disinfected. Next
year there was no plague in Moscow.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10

IT was long ago shown by statistics
that in general married people have a
less mortality than the unmarried, but
M. Jansens, of Brussels, in following up
the same matter, has reached some other
conclusions which are rather surpris-
ing. He states from his experience that
while married people commit less crimes
and are less prone to suicide than the
unmarried, widowers kill themselves
much more than married men, and that
while men with children are of more
reputable life than those without them,
widows with children, on the contra ",
are more likely to be wicked than
widows without them. -
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10

AN Irish agent having been INSTRUCT
ed to raise rents, called meeting OF
the tenants and appraised them of the
intention. "You can afford it," said
he; "see how prices have risen."
Silence was broken by an old farmer,
who said, "yes;. there is no denying OF
that. II used to cost q pound to get an
agent shot, and now, be jabbers, it cant
be done under two." The rents have
not yet been raised,
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10
Wolves In Russia.

The farmers of Russia sustain severe
losses by the depredations of wild ami
mails, chiefly wolves, even in the more
thickly- populated sections Of the em-
pire. In aone district of Novogorod,
during the year ending Oct. 81, beasts
of prey destroyed 43 horses, 159 neat
cattle, 200 colts, Ill calves, $40 sheep
hogs and u dogs.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10
FrOth.

In all cities there are three grades of
people, the substratum, the substance,
and the froth. The sttbStrdtatm are the
vicious poor who hide in dark alleys;
The Substance are tie mechanical and
commercial industries. And on top OF
these floats the worthless, fashionable
froth-Des Moi1aeS Register.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10
Exports Of Provisions.

The Bureau of Statistics at Washing
ton has just issued very interesting
statement showing the export cf pro-
visions from the United States during
the month of October last, the totals Of
which are as follows:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10

Total. @o,ttoscVS
1t will be seen that of butter and
cheese there was nearly million and a
quarter for the month. This is a grow
ing industry in the Middle and West
ern States.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10

TEXAS is going to sell enough wild
lands to build new State House.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10

THERE is a curious origin ascribed to
.;mbrophily, by which high sounding
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10

SPINNER and his autograph say they
will never leave Florida.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-10
TOPICS OF THE DAY.


A GERMAN paper publishes an inter
esting account of the migration OF peo-
pIe caused by the Russo-Turkish war,
and which is described az the greatest
witnessed since the Middle Ages. since
1877 the emigration in several Turkish
provinces has exceeded million souls.
Some districts have been completely
evacuated, and occupied almost lmme-
diately by another population
THOUSANDS of emigrants beyond the
Mississippi are shouting Westward
hot" As many as $500 arrived at the
Union Depot, Kansas City, during a sin
gle day, and set their faces toward the
west. Last season they came by fami-
lies, by sections, by hundreds; but this
year it Is by thousands that they empty
themselves from the cars at the depot,
and at once take seats in the westward
bound trains. The various roads had
calculated upon heavy travel this sea-
son, and their anticipations have been
more than verified.