Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1879-08-13
FUNNYGRAPHS.

b1ru tly tor your lie. Inc blamed
hing might explode. -Phiiadtlphia
Chronicle Herald.
The Princess Louise has adopted a
bshiou which is as old as the time
rben Eve walked about with her little
Cain.-Nep York Commercial! Advertiser.
A little boy in the neighboring village
swallowed coin the other day. He
was like man who was eating onions
had a scent in his stomach. -Syrdc,tse
Sunday Times.
How do you sell these fearful
bulbs ?" asked an affected young lady
NJ a green grocer lie stared at her for
a moment recovered himself, and said,
"Ob, them inyuns ?" "By the rope"
There was once man in Louisiana
who couldn't tell lie. He was tran
sient visitor-exceedinslv transient.
They killed and scalped him three min
utes after he reached the State.
Kate Cobb, the Connecticut fiendess.
as the Detroit Free Press calls her, has
had three offers of marriage since she
went into retirement. Three more I'M
fortunates weary of breath.-Neap York
Commercial! Advertiser.
These are the days when the small
hoy Climbs the tallest cherry tree, IN
the back yald, exhibiting the utmost
recklessness, until finally he steps On
limb more brittle than the rest, and oh,
horrors falis--to devouring the fruit
with an energy that betokens n first
class job for the nearest physician
L0ckp0H Union.
Daring the recent heated term a
Chicago clergyman told his hearers that
unless they repented and were born
again. they would go to st. Louis,
where the worm dieth not and the
thermometer is 100 degrees in the shade.
He made many converts. -NorriSt0'Cn
Herald.
To the khedive of Egypt-Respected
Sir: Having learned that in conse-
Qucnce of your recent dethronement
you are troubled about place to live,
we hasten to offer you the freedom of
Cincinnati. Rents are very low here,
the Theodore Thomas concerts are in
full blast, and you can get schooner
Of beer for Cincinnati Times.
1t Was new girl who was stranger
in town. The young lady of the house
was much put up by hel wanting to go
to church Sunday morning when she
wanted her aid in dressing. 81 don't
see what you are so anxious to go to
church every Sunday for" she pet
ulantIy exclaimed; you can't know
any fellow in Danbury. y Danb,vy News.
If you want Slight connection in
your physical system buy tomatoes;
little unpleasan,ness, blueberrles; an
opportunity to clay Oft" half day,
green peaches; general hubbub and
two days vacation, vatermelons; real
double aud twisted bow knot, cucum-
bers; an entire season in bed and the
iuIl frultlon of the autumn in the
happy land" green apples.--NeV Hd-
Ten Register.
1t Is hard for professional pride to
remain silent when good old tradition
OF the craft is outraged. The other
night when a new drama was produced
ala London theater, the gallery was
crowded; and the goods" were pleased
to spprove of the piece generally until
the burglary scene. But, when the
burglar was seen "doing" the place with
all the blinds up, so that he could be
seen "at work" from the street an ex-
pert present could stand it no longer
but yelled out, "Why don't you pull
your blinds DOWN."
The superintendent of one of our
cemeteries was called upon not long
SINCE by man who said he wanted to
select a lot in which TO bury his wife
VINO had died the day before. The off
CA started out with him to walk
through the grounds, and on the way
He'll INTO conversation concerning the
deceased. "Was her death sudden p
he asked. "Well, yes; rather" an
'"ered the bercaved husband; that is,
al The last. She was ailing like for a
s9od while, but the last week she went
Oh h1ad over tist. Boston Traveller.
Kun for doctor and glass of BRAN
lN quick" cried a red-nosed man,
AShlly overcome by heat and so forth,
on Fawtncket avenue, Sunday after
"ooh. Good Samaritans started off in
answer To his appeal in every direction,
NNeh they We're rounded to by an addi
::Nhal ely, Don't too many of you go
ioI me doctor and not enough for the
randy | guess you better all go for
we brandy first and for the doctor af-
|Fl5"ards.' They all looked upon the
W. hlmbug, who was thus presuming
upon upon the best impulses OF humanity,
- -I men lett him alone with his thirst
'"0eF shady tree.-Piouidence Press.
n ne poor white" is poor-very poor.
1 ,ue small farmers of the North cannot
pare with these in absolute dest.-
~. 0tGa OF money. Doctor" said one