The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1879-01-30
EVERY DAY SPICERIES.

the credfrs zttzched, Hike Josepn'g gar
ment, is quote of many cullers.
- WhstehaH Times.
THE wise man placeth the stock Of
his gun to his shoulder before he fireth.
but the fool looketh down the barrel to
see the ball start.-Rome Sentinel.
A BANKRUPT was condoled with the
other day for his embarrassment. "Oh,
Pm not embarrassed at all,n said he;
"it's my creditors that are embar-
rassed."
Mr.. and Mrs. Bowers, of Rochester,
are divorced, and she is the left Bower.
Detroit Fl &c Press. Then we suppose
Mr.. B: was the right Bower, and made
point in going it alone.
GEORGE, dear, don't you think it
rather extravagant of you to eat butter
with that delicious jan? p &C No, love,
economical; same piece of bread does
for both. .'-Andreacs' american Queen.
NOTHING will reassure man quicker
when he meets a suspicious-looking
stranger in a lonely street, and sees him
reaching for his pistol-pocket, than to
see him pull out piece of plug tobacco
instead.
OVER in Kentucky when mule gets
SO lazy that he won't work more than
nine or ten hours day, they trim his
ears down and sell him to some Chicago
man for carriage horse Cincinnati
Enquirer.
"ToM," said man to his friend the
other day, think it highly danger
GUS to keep the bills of small banks on
hand nowadays" Fin" answered
the other, /" l find it more difficult than
dangerous"
THERE is one thing that the eye of
mortal has never beheld, and that is the
skater who fell down because he could
not stand up. He always looks around
with an air of Importance, then fixes
his skate straps and does not rub the
place that hurts the most until he is
sure no one is looking. PiHston Press.
IT never rains in Peru, and man in
that rainless climate never knows what
it is to get up Sunday morning and
spend five hours pumping out his cellar,
when he is Just wild to go to church.
But to atone for the loss of this pleasant
pastime, he has to stand up about four
times week and let q raging earth
quake kick him clear across the county
line in one time and two notions
Ha,ckeye.
A YOUNG lady at a hotel in st. Louis
went in search of the bathroom, and
cropping along dark passage opened the
door Of the elevator aperture and fell
down the space, seriously injuring her
self. Judge Boyle, of the Circuit Court,
dismissed her suit for damages, holding
that guest in hotel is not supposed
to wander around dark passages and go
into the first open door she sees without
having any knowledge of what the place
may be.
ONE of the clerks il the State Bank
| is short, slim, and has round, bald
head. The clerk hailed a legal light as
he entered the bank the other day with
the query: Have you been up to the
chicken show7", The answer was, eyes,
and advise you to go, but be careful
not to take off your cap when you are
near the Cochin China's coop, or one OF
them may reach out and gobble you up
for kernel of corn."-7roy Press.
ha sod occ;dent that hefell the little
1lle sau o;a;sau ao 4b.rs ~ oonclndes ;ts con.
sou ~ Z ois.1oI I eIa;nn 49, ~ GWr y reoI- I
solaIions py auains e. o,d odooo That
izes sne 'rusn "a sne oiu aI1 10 wife s
sioGples nesea ,o.ad oum1 tvom S,s ~ lsnr main.
aaVing Juss reIeieieu aoJinalv aT vt, to ba @ ra-
1ui lli9ess. ~ 10 eaUeed 81 - y NJ ~ onororv ~
regards the recovery of his wife as a
mlsi1isuns nst :. nomevel, usere;ad % De- Dstron
i1or n1mseli Is a mariieu man '0''
free f'ess. nm, n.n.vn,s ,ovp
.r.,r maiden aid psp xi,e thon .bsre INV fats,p
love sick barber cried;
"oh, no." said she, !. lean not be
a little snaver's ofi0st
"Thy lip, pomade. doth wound me deep,
Soap precious art thou 10 my heart,
"nicn none' nv o'Hsf 41''A'
"And since to be my bonny bride
Thou wit M not + condescena, D .C nat r,.e
iea, end ~ rss.chssJ chs their lather end