Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1879-08-07
Sips Of Han

lis lavablc.
| The fellow mado a bad buI
when he went TO steal a squash
land got gourd.
"There is no place like Chica-
Igo," says q Chicago paper.
ssThat is SO, and 4 lucky thing
lit is, too
Rev. Collyar was a black
smith. This is the reason that
he can so readily rivet the attcn-
ton of his audience.
A railroad eating house is
kept on the you-rope-in plan,
where they beat a gong twenty
minutes for refreshments.
The little girl looks forward
to the time when she can "do up"
her hair ike a lady as a period
of true hair-pinness.
Atmospheric air is so heavy
that its weight upon the body is
fifteen pounds to the square inch.
People can understand now why
it is so hard to raise the wind.
A young lady was heard to re-
mark u day or two ago: "Why,
| haven't had a wooden hoe on
my limb this winter - That's
culchah.
We never saw a working1nan
who hated Kings and Queens
bad enough not TO take a couple
from the bottom Of the pack if
an opportunity offered.
A poet in the Whitehall Times
exclaims: II am haunted, weird
ly haunted, by the dripping of
the rain" We should advise
new shingles as q remedy.
No matter how bad and de-
structive a boy may be, he new
er becomes 50 degraded or. loses
his self-respect sufficiently to
throw mud on a circus poster.
Some men are captivated by
a woman's laugh, just as some
men predict a pleasant day be-
cause the sun shines out clear
for a moment. They forget the
chance fol squalls. T
Dutch girls make the best
wives. King William has been
married fifty years and he is not
as baldheaded as some Ameri-
cans who have been welded on
ly that many months.
Judging from the large num-
Der of young physicians being
ground out by our medical coli
leges, we can no longer sing,
"I'his world is but an NJ. ID.
void"
When you hear q country
choir singing, sTherc viii be
no more sorrow there" you con-
clude at once that either the a.
foresaid choir will not be there,
or they viii not be permitted to
sing.
A correspondent asks if the
first game of baseball was not
when the dove "went out on q
hy from the ark?" 1t may have
been, although we have heard
Cain struck a foul blow and
was the first base man.
"How did you come to get
married?" asked a man of a very
homely friend. "Well, you see,"
he replied, "after | had vainly
tried to win several girls that /
wanted, / finally turned my at
tention to one that wanted me,
and then it didn't take long to
arrange matters. al
When you see a man wildly
boring his fingers down in the
front Of his shirt bosom or try
ing to reach down the back of
his neck, on a warm Sunday eve
ming in church, you may know
that a crazy bug has got down
past his collar and is tracing a
railroad map on his bare skin.
"In pursuing my theme, I
should like to cover moro
ground, but" "Buy shoes big
enough for your feet, AMI you'll
do it," was the impudent sug-
gestion from the crowd, and the
orator adjourned his remarks
until more refined audience
could be present. M y HI
When Jones opened the front
door yesterday morning and
found a strange baby in a bas-
ket on the door step, he picked
up the bundle, and as he carried
It to his wife no was heard to
"Some men arc born
some men achieve ba-
Dies, and sorno men have babies
thrust upon them"
'fWhat are you worth?'' ask
sd a rich old miser of a young
nan who was courting his only
child. "Not much now, but I'm
eoming into a large fortune in
|, few years." was tho reply.
The marriage took place, and
.Aan fha olJ ,,,faar Icoruad that