Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1879-04-24
SMILES.
A COUP D'ETAT.

COUP D ETAT-
If little seeds by slow degree
Put forth their leaves and flowers unheard,
Our love has grown into tree.
And olcomed without single word.
haply hit on six o'clock,
The hour her father came from town;
/ gave his own peculiar knock,
And waited silly like clown.
The door was open. There she stood
Lifting her mouths delicious brim.
How could | waste thing so good!
TOOK the kiss she meant for him.
A moment on an awful brink
Deep breath, a frown. smile, a tear;
And then, 20. Robert, don't think
London Society.
sob, yes, l have made faces my
study. Do you paint, Miss Brown
'Sir!" Il mean, do you paint pictures?'
Now do people begin to step on the
seasonable banana peeling, and distrib-
Gus walks of life.-NeIV York Nal.
A gentleman, speaking of young
beauty's fashionable yellowish hair,
called it pure gold. at ought to be-"
quoth friend: 'it looks ike twenty
four carrots"
II pAAo lIldO hOOIGIl SIIlS anu Il WO-
man that wouldn't take up the carpet
such fine morning as this are uniting
representatives of their species. -NeW
Haven Register.
Chow shall we train our giIis? ?" asked
an exchange. Train 'em with about
twenty two yards of black silk, if you
want to please your girls. A silk vel
vet train would also make 'em happy.
If you are not wealthy enough to
keep a flock of hens and accompanying
gentleman attendant, keep baby. He
can 'tcrow" early enough to wake you
up in abundant season to see the sun
rise.-NeU HaUen Register.
A young lady, Who ought to know,
accounts for the disposition of the aver
age young fellew to put his arm around a
girls waist by the supposition that he is
looking for that rib that was taken from
him so long ago.
Since the announcement made by
New York religious weekly few
months ago that it would give a pocket
pistol to each new subscriber, it has
more than double its circulation i'll Tex
as and Kentucky.
Arabella latter three months abroad)
bridget, je vous prize to use extreme
care when busting the articles of virtu,
the bric-a-brac and ceramics" Bridget
-'Sure, ma'an, understand what We
say, but don't know what we NAME"
"Dot 'Pinafore' expression vas a noos-
ance," remarked Teutonic gentle
man recently, to a genial coadjutor.
"Auf you tole weller something's, he
speaks noding Won blaine Anglish, aber
he say: 'Vot, hardly, sometimes never?
Not kind of language is dose?"
The time is near at hand when
glass of water, favored with .000001
cents worth Of lemon extract, and i'm
pregnated with 100000 cents worth of
carbonic acid gas, is to fetch ten cents
at the druggists counter.-Jersey City
Journal.
At the cooking lecture, lady solilo-
quising-"Now that she's got cooked,
L wish she'd tell us how to use up cold
mutton" Next lady overhears the re-
marks: Il have some infallible receipts"
First lady, alert with pencil and note
book: "Wili you please favor me ?"
Second lady: "Six boys"
The superintendent addressed the
Sunday-school on obedience to the NOR
al law, and urged the keeping and not
breaking of the commandments, and to
fasten the impression, asked: "Is any
thing better for being broken ~ eyes,"
said little boy, "a nag" The address
proceeded no further.
Lady Ito French governess): II am
shocked to find that my daug liter has
been receiving letters in French from
a young man." Governess: pardon,
madame. 1t is only my little ruse to
cheat mam'selle into study. When she
would reply to an unknown lover-a
Frenchman, mon DIeu, how quickly she
will learn my language"
Germany lifts its scholarly head from
amid the mists of philosophy to mingle
It's light-hearted jests and merry gayety
with the melodious chorus of drinking
songs and then dejectedly hangs or
shoots itself into eternity because it
can't fathom the mysterious problem
of human existence, or because a sus-
penGer button gives way.-R. j. Bur-
dette IN Burlington Hawkeye.
OBJURGATIoN.
Pretty Jennie came to me-
Earnest seeking information: