, 1879-02-11
THE SCIENTIFlCUY.
Or How to Trfangulatn Congross nnl tho
Territories.

Territories.
ChnT'fffoH fS C.1 MtWs nnd Cnurftr.
Half concealed among the ample folds Of the
Legislative, Executive, ami judicial Aupropria-
fion bill recently reported to tho lIuuzc by It's
Committee gu appropriations IL an item tlu.t
looks like an innocent proposition 10 turn over
all nf tlr government hnrycvs to the Coast
Survey organization. aud yet II las been show,,
by tndlsputabto lncts md nCurra Tint this piece
Of Legislation will commit the Government to
the expenditure Of about 81. .2U9, ,0o.00o. 1t Is
proposition that Inns been brought out by the
National Academy Of actcucea IN resppnsc to nj,
appeal from Congress fOr a little scientific IN.
formation md assistance.
Away out there IN tn. unknown reccs.cs Of
fasthetses OF fl: rgrs of The great Cos,ilicFaii
mountain chain. lies q tyounutcs. cxpansu III
cunntry, which CoHEressnlen, In sore tslrcsa,
have dubbed - The Wuste Places nf the Eartlt."
Upun this wild M! 1esDlute reg1uft, for some
occult rcaeon. s'icnec has long hal unc eye
gently lcuring ,lnwn. Hllc wanis to triangillatu
It with one Of tto>e GstHctfc things the ,nerest
tnt'lt"h Of Which will close tn: tnolttll a',l
earth,-UHc Of thoso O1oEfetcnl thing. that
scars up into tke bluv unpsrenu beyond l!ln
conception Ut the hcrtl that Erovels uutxibc ut
her sunny uabtures. Hut. alasl even in science
will crop our. a ltttle tctnlicst has OPENED nn
II, the scientific teapot ntnonc thosu sens u
spoiled dirt that threatens to dcluee the wl,olo
land with tfianEfes.
For years the votaries OF ecienec hayc brought
this iltt!c teapot utun the iIuors of tougycss
Mith Mild appeals Of "klck tint oshtr uss ont"
y Let me No tic triangu'ating aln1 The ~. VIII
Tempest no more" Atlast Congress, In ,re.iis-
trcss, raisc.l = Try Ut anguish lu the National
Academy Of se!ctsee: "Eome over into Mace
lonia aud help U.s." And tho Aca.!e,ny came,
Rushing tnto the fray with selentie ,le1!,cra-
tion aud precision, II. Issue. IT'S fiat: "Kiek all
of these experienced usscs overheard. Let thu
Coast Survey do the work. This highly setrn-
ttflc corps Of trained experts may not have ltud
my .xper'el,vc Ut that sort, but s.crc a1e Seas
OF Waste Dirt out there. ind tta exprrience
upon our Watcry scas will sonic lime or other
be Of great scientific ya!uc, no matter what kind
OF . sea you launch them UPON"
THIS pIau, cntatattng from committee OF
gcoloeists. inincrulocssts, pnoegists, ctr., hi.
the rarG nltfIt Ut promising mont Intensely
scientific surrey of tile whole public uU,nan,-so
CurgcuHsly scientific tint II will furnish pleas
unt An,utemcnt AMI profitable occupation for
notl: array VI martyss 't.c surplus gcoloetss,
sn!ncraiocssss, pht'oloQists .pnlcoI.to!orsts,
arclmooglAts, conrhofo9t.tt, b!otugtss, ETC.,
that ycarn 10 flesh the swor.l OF SCIENCE III The
Dlogtsts Aud just l,cro II Is well to remember
Iat uf lnic years tlrrc Inns lcen hut BcutY rom
III the RcnltcManly proless0is OF law, r.ciicIne,
ani theology, a',d tle food Of Young brnin t!,at
taken 70 ssience-to The OoEy. 4..wl,osc name Is
'eston." THIS hrain tnuas bo fostcrcd ut tho
public cxpcilsc. aud the cllcnpcst, u,ost co,l-
,,on-sct,sc wav nf doing T. ts to Cct lip q great
North American Scientific Geodetie anl Coast
Survey. The horny hand vi lnhor IL also II, need
OF Assstancc,-!rum tllc Goyernlhcnt,-Hlt
everybody kuows that to foster Il Ia to foster
Tie terrible Commune md al lint sort nf thing,
n,'d we don't want tic Commune. W. don't
want other peoples pruperty. nnd other people
to hnyo our property; hut We aI Of rs do wnnt
u ahaci at the GUverniuent's property 40 tint
We uaay Get our bruins fostcrcd th q scientific
Inanner.
1t Is proposed TO turn over thu great Eortl,
An'trirah survey Il, tic Coast Survey, nnsl then
TO turn uvcr u'a whole gorgeous sclentteus to
be managed in honest, un.iis.urbcl lcatitade,-
like the fnltan f}nrcn,l- II Ia lust little hnfd,
perhaps, TO turn over 70 mtcl sctchcc nlul brain
to the rayishfng allurememts OF that Oft white
..and II. anybody W. cam '' cf4alc r. l. siti, saa
the nirahdrinsc arnlor of sc!uncc, men
have always =, becn proof aEainss i,lnan
wea'sness. They ean stn,',! nn,y!hing, from
In sle " t!csh pot. of Egypt" for the t!dbtts Ut
tendcr-foin that cluster around The ycrtcsrsu Ut
the cdiolc vertcbrats anil nut ret sulrelel tho
least BIT; other people cannot do this, TlIcy
are pretty certain to yet beatnirched with filthy
luerc.
II Is Just and proper TINT this thing should be
turned oyer to tile Coast Surrey. This highly
Il s 1niex saies or a ast III
wears, md In that slurt space Ut tt,lu they llaya
trjunKulated thu daylights out Of every water
Ing ptace and decent !oallpg place a!unG our
otrun border. They have stuck to the rentres
Ut population, mid followed the straw berries
from Flarda to Maine yenr atlcG year with ihu
most scientific precision. They llave scra.eu
several hushc!sof mud from tho botton,1rsa
depths u the osean,-for SCIENCE snkc,;-s,al sru
now trlanculating. gayly. md cheapiy, sc!cn-
tltca1ly speaking. "AcFoss tue ConttnGRth fur
tue snko u finding out how tn,1el! It bulgcs out
iu tho middle.
II IA too true, pcrf,nns, thut with all ot that
mOucy upent OIL scratching old Ocnan's bottom
alN! asctrtanne t.,p Continents Bulge, creat
lnany more Of the luuuly al,d lrcac.,rruua DUR
Ecrspots aioug our cuasts could ilayn hcen care
fully iuAbpeI, Al,l the fnsl1iuIs 1tDrt-eurreuta
Ut the 0ecaa uMt hayu eWersed 20 nanY nullu
ships 10 destruction ulMl lyes 10 ntcrnlty might |
hayc been pointed OUT There might hare beer,
fewer lamentations n,l tears anu fatlltrlcas tn
tllu land. Tl,t object Of the honest old In~. |
givers Ut getting llte ept.si suratyel nsht have
becn more honestly carried out. But ennugl, ot
such unsc!enti!!c stuff. Tile spirit Ut prophecy
Possesses me, and lar tut0 the dark iulure sec
tho proud scicntillcus ra1latug scehct fru, tho
ceutres oil population and the lovrIieat sunIner
rcsorts Of tIle Interior, while over Moun.Hln.tt,p
n.nl valley mesh Of gltttcrfng irlung!es e,lseI-
nIes tliu land nll he pucke.h nj the leullu In
spider's net OF gold nnl silver threau6 spun /
from thn sweat of tofling n,llstoua' brow.
s'Will you walk tntO my par1ori"
said tho spider to thu hS;
''"Eis thu ntlst highly intellectual
and scientific"