Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-07-04
Humorous

said Mrs. Baxter TO her mate,
My dear, where shall We rusttcatet
AZ Newport, Long Branch or Cape MAY;
At Saratoga, Put,iu,Ra
0r where my dear, beg you say"
Then Mr. Baxter hcsNcd = groan,
And answered IN smother'd tone,
NV dear, we cannot, Will not roam
ky sessid, plSSh or mountain gloSM-
Wen tusticatc this year st home,
Then Mrs, Baxter gave glare
shrek went ont upon the air
\ fash, crash, y smash, 4 roar,
secthtng, hnbeling Hood VI gotc
Aud Mrs. NaNlcr WAS NJ morn
); .oeiS TN,S-lovrsal
A set speech--one in type.
The saddest words of tongue or pen:
81 intend 10 pay; l can't say when"
A Montague undertaken advertses
that he has established branch con.
Germ at Wendell, which is in charge of
~ hive man who will please every.
body "
Atmospheric air is so heavy that its
weight upon the body is fifteen pounds
10 y square inch. People can under
stand now why il is so hard To raise the
wind.
Nothing exceeds that peaceful calm
which steals over young man Ms he
sits in the shade and watches his
mother maui n carpet on the clothes.
line, He pities her, hut he didn't iii.
vent carpets.
An lriShman, NJ the Immediate risk
of his life, stopped u runaway horse u
few days ago. The owner came up
after awhile, and quietly remarked;
THANK YOU, sir" An faith, an how
are w goin' 60 divide that hotwaine
two Of usg' replied Fat.
4 Yankee auetioneer lately INDUCED
i'll the following little bit OF the pathetic:
"Gontlemen, il my father and mother
stood whore You do, and didn't buy
these boots--theso elegant boots when
they were going ior 81, should feel it
my duty as y son To tell both Of ON
that they were false to themselves and
false To their country"
"'lis said that absence eonqucM
love" quoted husband, in writing
home 10 his wife, from whom he had
been some time away. al hope, dear,
it won't be So III your case" "Oh. ne"
she replied in her next letter, "the
longer YOU stay away the better shall
| like you.' lie had to take Il thus ann
biguuusly, rs he was AFRAID to risk ask-
my mn explanation.
What n feeling of relief comes over
woman rs she enters church and dis
covers that her neighbours wife has tho
same feather on her spring hal that she
wore last season.
When boy sees nice round
smooth stone lying on the ground, he
always thinks II rather moan that there
isn't II yellow dog in the vicinity. Unele
Sam.
The Utica Observer, observing rows Of
young men at church doors on Sunday
evening, calls them dandy lines. ,
Are they there just for greens 2--Ndp
York World.
Probably no man so fully realizes the
hollowncss Of life and human ambition
M the man who ladies IL teaspoon(ul Of
newlaid horscradish into his mouth,
under the impression that il is ice
cream, Burlington Hdmkeye.
A Troy factory turns out about 5000
coo dozen Of mems collars in year,
not one of which will stand up and do
its work properly through n hot sum
mer's day. NG0 Orleans PfcoyUno.
Tho Binghamton Republican tells OF
nm cid lady who can't sec why base bail
players change pitchers so often. She
thinks they ought TO get one that would
hold enough in the first place.
When II man is standing with one foot
on truck and the other on case ON
the sidewalk, and the horse suddenly
starts and causes him TO open like Il
pair of shears, the rapidity with which
he can't decide what to do il one Of the
most insolube phenomena Of human
nature. -NciO York Star.
Talk Of the bravery Of the storner
sex. DO you remember the first time
you asked her, "Will you take my
arm ?" While you trombiod all over
like the narrative OF the stump-tail dog
and experienced the sensation Of hay.
ing swallowed your Adams apple, what
did che do2 Why. she took your arm
as cody as she would cat pickle. *
Boston TRANSCRIPT.
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