Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1879-01-17


of buggy-can any OF you ~
81 protest!'' cried Mr.. Old Fogy, but
they didn't answer for all that.
"Well Mr.. Blank, can you translat
Latin ?''
81 can, sir"
ssNo doubt Of it, but can you tell me
how TO preserve cider?'
CT here you go againl' cried Mr.. Old
Fogy, but none of them could tell.
care you familiar with cube-root, Mr..
Blank?"
81 am
ssBut can you tell me the salary of our
Governor?''
I None of them could.
! ssTry some OF the ladies' suggested Mr..
Old Fogy, after a few more questions.
SAL right, Miss Blank, are you good in
salgebra?''
''And can you tell me how many yards
of cot on to buy for pair of pillow slips?'
| why no!''
.''Do you know what will take stains out
of table cloth, or grease spots out of car
pet?"
ssNo, sir"
'sCan you direct cook to make pie crust
or biscuit or bread?" h
'No, sir"
''Cai you mix mustard plaster, tell me
a ready family antidote for poison, suggest
a family remedy for a cold or sore
throat, tell me how many yards in bunch
Of dress braid, the number Of yards of
ticking to make bedtick, way to re-
move paint from windows; or how to make
Cruel for the sick?''
mo, slr.n
"What are you driving at ?' indignant
ly demanded Mr.. Old Fogy.
''I'll let my class go and tell you. Let
me first remark that 1 haven't asked a
question which these children can't an
swer. This little girl will promptly an
swer everything have asked Miss Blank,
and yet shells not ten years old. A month
ago told her that alum and brown sugar
mixed together would relieve Group. a
week ago, at dead of night, reused from
sleep by her parents and the walls of her
sick brother, she prepared the remedy
while her father was after the doctor and
her mother excited and helpless, and in
half an hour the Group was gone. You
ask me what I'm driving at? Women are
called helpless. and we do not look to see
them have presence of mind. Why are
they so? Simply because they may know
algebra by heart and yet not know what
is an antidote for almost every poison,
They learn astronomy; and yet don't
know what is good for burn, Or how to
stop the nose bleed? They know all about
botany, and yet cannot tell what to do for
a person who has tainted away
"But Pm not housekeeper," protested
Miss Blank
''No; well, every woman looks forward
to marriage. They were born to. Every
female expects to marry rich, but not one
in FIVE hundred can SO marry as to throw
the entire responsibility of her house on
hired help. Six out Of ten may have SER
want, but unless the mistress knows how
things should go, what can be expected Of
the girl? While the lady sits in the par
lor and reall yes that she can draw, play
the piano and read French, the "help,''
left to experiments, and having no inter-
est, breaks, smashes and throws away and
the family are soon looking for a cheaper
house. Miss Blank here may marry and
never have to lift hand, but if she knew
every duty--if she knew remedies and
recipes-Wouldn't she have more self reli-
ance and be better prepared for her respon-
sibility Can you name one married lady in
Detroit who makes use of algebra? Can you
name one who is ever Inconvenience for
the Want of knowledge of geometry? Do
you know of one who wouldn't trade off
all her Latin for cure for corns ?''
Mr. Old Fogy, said he thought it looked
as if we would soon have snow storm,
Then take the other side, We do not
teach our boys to be observing, and then
we turn around and call them needless.
We pass he things of every day life to let
taem grasp at theoretical. They thus be-
come helpless. They can name the plan
cts, but they can not give the length and
width of brick. They can name any an
Gent philosopher, but they can't put up
a stove pipe; they can figure in cubic root,
but they can't tell all wool cloth from half
cotton. We let them go to school for
ysars, are proud to find that they can tell
why hickory wood will burn longer than
pine, and we hear somebody say OF them :
HE has fine education Tut no horse
sense"
Mr.. Old Fogy suggested that it was get
ting late.
Now, then some of you tell me Of a
business man who has made his money
through a classical education. Tell me
one lawyer who wins by dowery speeches,
and I'll name dozen who wins by argu-
ments which even boys can digest. Name
a merchant who buys at random. as we ed
ucate children and 1 will name the day of
his failure. Name one who can tell you
how to saw out boot jack, build an Ice
box, putty in a pane of glass, mix paint or
hang gate, and I'll show you that he is
doing a safe business, dictated by obser-
yation and common sense. Last year a
gentleman with fine collegiate education
opened grocery store on certain street
IN this city, asking no advice as to loca-
ton, and making no observations on the
movements of the public. He had got
nicely opened when boot-black called in
one day and bluntlY said:
: Gimme cents worth of peanuts p
Peanuts Boy don't keep peanut
standl'' was the indignant reply.
You won't keep even peanut stand
here two months from nOW!' chuckled the