Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1879-12-19
Wit, Humor and Sentiment. /.

Ntt hNHNt
A country editor in his terms, says
that he charges lone dollar for every
sixteen hesl' Lanes we presume he
meant
nr, n maintained that poverty
was y virtue. THAT is making u viz.
tue 81 necessity" said y hyslandcr.
Some person WAS once asked why II
stood before CO Because, WAS the an.
swer, u man must Il before he can G,
Il paws for reply as the cat said,
when she scratched at tho door for ad.
mission.
rastry.cooks seldom advertise, be.
cause large proportion Of their goods
are puts in themselves.
Why il n gunsmiths shop like
ohicken.pieg Because Il contains fowl.
in-pieoes llnwling.p ieoes),
"Tommy, my son, what is lonpitude2s
"a clothes line, daddy" "How do
you make that outp' Because II
stretches from pole to pole"
How il il ,hata hushandman and 4
seamstress follow a similar oooupationG
Because one gathers what no sows, and
the other sews whit she gathers.
"sam, how do ,ou like that knife
sold you last week y go, 50. It's not
very sharp, yet YOU managed to shave
me with it,
Why is = hungry boy looking a, the
pudding IN ~ oook-shop window like =
horsoY /, Because no would DO all the
better II he had bit in his mouth.
A housewife, on being advised to put
list on hor doors to keep tho cold out,
declined, because she had read that
the "wind bloweth whore II listoth.n
A certain justice OF the peace would
case before him--"heeauso,n M he said,
1T always puzzled him when no heard
hnthla
"John, ! fear you are forgetting me-"
said n bright-eyod coquette to her sweet
heart, the other day. "Yos, Sue, have
beoa for gttiing you these two years"
Ia molasses good for oough,n in
qnired Jones, who Ind taken slight
cold, and was barking with considerable
energy. 1T ought to bo, said Brown,
1T is sold for consumption
'Tintionl" exclaimed mn Irish scr.
goant TO his platoon; front face, and
tind 10 rowl cawll Az many Of 20 rs is
prosint will suy 'Eerer and IA many of
ye ne ia not present will shy Absent"
Miss, will YOU take my sinister armpn
Yes, sir, and you too" | can'tspare
but the arm, Miss" replied tho bachelor.
"Thon," replied Hhe, shanttake il, as
my motto is, 90 The lphotc hog or nothing"
An old gentleman Of our aoquaint.
ance says that ho Ia tho Inst man in the
world that will over tyranniao over a
daughters affections. So long % sho
nidrries the man Of his choice, no don't
care who she lovts.
A man in Florida, who swallowed nh
orange seed last fall, has a breath 40
fragrant Of orange blossoms this spring,
TINT, he says-the ladies arc con-
stantly tcazing him for kisses.
A wag says II Ia folly to expect girl
to love man whom everybody speaks
well of. But, yet up n persecution, and
her affections will cling so fast, that a
dozen guardians cannot begin 10 re-
move them.
/ An Athenian, who was lame in ono
foot, joining the army, was laughed nj
by tho soldiery on account Of his lame
ness. 8 am here TO fight raid tho
hero, mot to rum"
"Havo you Goldsmith's Groeco2"
asked gentleman, on entering book
store the other day. mo; but they
have some excellent bears oil two doors
below" answered tho indohtigable book
merchant
The late Rev. DIR. Isaaos, was both
great wag and a great smoker. "Thore
you are cried young lady, who sur
prised him ono day with pipe In his
mouth, "at your idol again. EYES,
madam replied he, coolly, Burning it.
i A transoendental preacher took for
his text, Feed my lambs" A plain
farmer quantity remarked 10 him, on
coming out Of the church, "A very
good text, sir; but you should take
care not TO put hay 40 high in the rack
that lambs can't reach il"
A conceited felowlin introducing his
friend into company, said, Gentlemen,
| assure you he is not 80 great "a fool NJ
he seems.o The gentleman immedia.
/ tely replied, THAT Is exactly tho differ
enco between my friend and myself"
A young woman aiighted from
ktage-coach when a piece OF ribbon
| from her bonnet fell Into the coach.
You have left your bow behind said
lady passenger. "0h no, l haven't
he's gone fishing" innooently rejoined
tho damsel. proceeding on her way.