The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-03-29
NUMBER "a.
PASSING SMILES.

.
as vain as the weather cock.--New York
Ne,cs. ~"
THE plain and wholesome things of
life are its greatest blessings. We are
taught to pray, not for luxuries or dain-
ties, but for daily bread.
Do nothing as it were trifing; slur
no part of your work; in everything
seek to do your best. Whatever is worth
doing, is worth doing WE'LL.
A MORE glorious victory can not be
gained over another man than this, that
when the injury began on his part, the
kindness should begin on ours.
!" CURSE the hour we were married |"
exclaimed an enraged husband to his
better half. To which she mildly re.
piled, "Don't, my. dear, for that is the
only happy hour we have ever SEEM"
Dor vos a mean choke" said Hans
after he had got through coughing, and
| found out that somebody had thrown
Scotch snuff into his mouth while he
was snoring Cincinnati Saturday Night.
AN orator who was much in demand
in political campaigns, being asked by
an admirer the secret of his success, re-
piled: When / have facts give 'em
facts; but when / haven't, 1 yell and
saw the air." ttar r4f'ets
SOME friends are Just like soft
shelled egg-so long as they are handled
very caretully they are as good as any
other; but should you give them little
thrust, they fiat out, and are not worth
trying to pick up.-PulasAs Democrat.
A ST.. LOUIS man proposes that the
| fines imposed in the courts be devoted
to the completion of the Washington
Monument. 1t would be fine monu-
ment then, wouldn't. it2-- Cincinnati
Saturday Night.
LOVE, and have tome cause to love, the enrth
She ia my Makers creature and therefore good
She Is my mother for she gave me bi,th;
She is my tender nurse, she gives mo food
But what creature, Lord, conn aIcd with Thee2
Or what's my mother or my nurse to mef -
NEW ORLEANS has streets with queer
names-Prytania, Rampant, Calliope,
Charities, Magazine, Royal, Common,
Julia, Esplanade, Roman, Elysian,
Fields, Carondelet, Bourbon. Weguess-
that the last is popular thoroughfare.
Chicago Times.
WHAT'S sauce for the goose" Pas
senger lin second class think I've
got into the wrong carriage" Ticket
Inspector (sternly)-" The difference
must be paid'P'' Passenger triumph
antly)--'i Oh, Just so Then iii trouble
you for three shillngs; I've frst-class
ticket l"--London Punch.
THE Arkansas Legislature took a re-
cess the other day to witness bowie
knife advertisement between the minor
ity and majority of the Ways and Means
Committee. While the doctors were
sewing up the minority, the majority
got in their report, which was unani-
mously adopted. ssf 4.tgo
The Franc Comtoise tells of boar
hunt lately where wounded boar,
rushing between the legs Of a hunter
who had turned aside to avoid him, and
who happened to be Mayor of a neigh
boring village, carried him OFT, the
Mayor hanging on by The beasts ears.
After going some distance his Honor
contrived to 81 p off the brute's back
unhurt. 1t was subsequently killed
and its head presented to the Mayor,
The sisters had not been on the most
loving terms for, some time, when one
day a lady visitor praised the good looks
of the offspring ofone. III" How much he
looks like Mrs. Black said she..
g especially when he laughs" Mrs.
Black was expressing her pleasure at the
compliment implied, when the infant
terrible blurted out, Mamma says /
look like fool when laugh ~ Tableau.
-Nea0 York Commercial sGH. i..ia +
THE WAY SOME EDITORS DO IT. s, {
II The editor sat on three-legsed 5 ool
| Upon the upper floor,
| And quietly grasped his best exchange,
For be wanted q co umn more. 4 ~ .tu z
| He stabbed it with his scissors,
| 81 And stole the funny stuff, ffs, rs St.f.,
And whistled down The copy.
| With NIL the credits scis ored of, j .s5-.
| Then placed bis thur BIS wi hin his vest
! And conniyinely did kuah, II yf3I 4 ~
| And said my readers will never know
| But what wrofe that paragraph. gfin pfs
| But the Blu Gus Bulge across the street
(Although IL av Sc nj Bsrange) 4tltfss q
| Was out three hours in advance
Made up from the same exeh' ngc. - .f'sIi
.sff - Court Journal
IT'S glorious to stand at the back
window and view the resplendent sun
rise vaulting DER the eastern leafess
forest, to mark the deepening glow Of
the god of day as he tolls away with his
little kerosene can and fools around with
the ash sitter, and the beauty of it all is
that you are too far away to hear his
wife shout from under the 'bed-clothes,
!" Amt you got that fire lighted yet,
Solp-Mi Y, Medical Revie0.
"THE laugh of childl What can
equal itg' inquiries an enthusiastic
writer. Nothing. There's absolutely
nothing that will equal the laugh Of a
freckled-faced boy Of eight, when he
opens colossal mouth orDamented
with q drunken row of blackened and
crumbling teeth, and elects copper
/ plated howl that forces every hair in
your head into an upright position, and
fairly unjoints your medulla oblongata.
-Rockldnd Courier. tstf
THE Hospitable Jones'" Yes, we're
in the same old place where you dined
with us last year. By the by, old man.
i wish you and your wife would ccme
and take pot-luck with us again on the
-" The Impulsive Brown (in the
eagerness of his determination never
again to take pot-luck with the Joneses,
-"My dear fellowl So sorryl But
we're engaged the--a-on the-ers- or
th-th- that EVENING"" Poor Jones
(pathetically ~" Well, old man, you
might have given me time just to name
the day London Punch.
Z ga KIND word spoken to a-husbant
will go farther than broomstick, y say
, woman of experience. All, but m.
{ dear woman, letus whisper in yourseaT
something that you ought to hear. Yo'