Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-01-04
DYING IN PARIS.
Funeral Fatss and Feathers, and the Leas
of 1T 4lt.
baltimore Sun Paris letter.

Baltimore Sun Paris Letter.
have, and indeed many others have, pic
tured something about the expense of living
in Paris. Few of US say anything about the
expense of dying here. I would earnestly
commend to all visitors here to postpone
their dying until they get further on in the
world. A man is ''ruined for life'' if he dies
here. It is the most expensive place in
Europe to shuttle off this mortal coil Don't
do it, Live and spite the doctor and his
aids-de-camp, the verltacateurs DIES deces,
the funeral furnishers, the cemetery YAM
pires, and the endless accessories that de-
mand endless francs. The expense to bury
one dead man in Paris in day would
comfortably support a whole family
of four persons in America for six
months "alive and kicking" The red tape,
the black cloth, the fuss and the feathers in
the most modest style will absorb nearly
$500. From the hour that death comes in
the house until he goes out again Mammon
is actively dancing attendance upon him. 1
am not surprised people dread to die. I be-
gin 10 feel that way myself the longer I live
here. The details of these expenses, how
ever serious the subject may be in every re-
spect, present nevertheless some amusing
traits. For example: When in the bill Of
items you see clears, Is francs" .'weepers
10 francs,'' and sregrets, % francs,'' you are
inclined to laugh. When you see a sliding
scale of grief represented by social classes
and pomp and show, empty carriages and
much mournful shams, you are forced to
smile. When you get those big sheets
of letter paper, zettre de .faSre part,
with solemn black borders and the DO
lite sentence of invitation done in splendid
fourishes of lively photographic letters, and
commencing: s'Vous etes prize d'assister
aux convoi ct service de- &C.; and when you
see a long list of names of family relatives
and friends, also beautifully fourished, you
are amazed with this document being so
Historically verbose, humorous and iokishly
inclined, for frequently some of the possess
sors of these names are the usands of miles
away, and perfectly ignorant of the death of
the incurred ones. I could fill couple of
columns Of the Sun with the deaths of .sLes
Pompes Funebus," wholesale and ready
made burying and burial furnishing estab-
lishment at La Villette that has a monopoly
of doing s'the dead business It does
ga roaring trade,'' and divides
handsome annual profits to the shareholders
in sums of millions of francs. It is an ex-
cellent institution, combining system and
promptness to marvellous degree, and en-
ploying thousands of professional "moun-
ers'-tearful personages ready made or to
order. The building alone at La Villette is
larger than any public edifce in Baltimore,
and has every appliance, from nearly 1000
saddened black horses to millions of immor-
telles, that may be required for every grade
of funeral. The men are trained
by periodical lessons in the various express
sions of "the depths of grief" suitable for
funerals of high and low degree. and, though
they are proverbial jokers among them
selves, a smile or cheerful expression of face
while on duty would involve
immediate dismissal The master of cere-
MONIES, or 0rdon1aate,tq, is dramatic per-
sonage, dressed like the speaker of the Brit
ish house of commons, or superb turnkey
in black, with massive steel chain and
round cape, in addition to his black silk
stockings, patent-leather shoes and bright
steel buckles, cutaway coat and the general
court custom. He moves about with more
ease and grace-and more Importance than
the famous prince of pew openers in New
Yorktown. He figures largely in the
bill, as does everything grave being the
most expensive item of all. The only COM.
mendable feature of these ceremonies is &C.
lerity, and the sooner such are got rid of the
better,