, 1879-08-24
LOCAL ITEMS.

The great trouble with professional ball club:
is to find pitcher that will hold watcr-on1y.
One night recently man turned the gas OF
in bis bedroom at leading hotel, apd the next
morning he was found hanging to the gas.
bracket, perfectly dead. Gas is a very powerful
destructive agent when not properly handled.
A Chicago lady just returned from Europe
Eays that none Of the photographs of her chill
dren, taken by the: leading French artists, were
half so satisfactory IS the HlncomparabIes - by
Joshua Smiths instantaneous process, zoe
North Clark.
1t gives man vivid conception of the hol-
lowness Of all earthly things when he sees the
commander Of barber-shop with head as
barren as the bottom Of q wash-bowl, and then
reads his name on bottle OF hair inyigorator
warranted to produce hyperion curis on bald
head in three months.
A favorite resort for the musical celebrities OF
Chicago is the music rooms at $50 aud 1852 State
street This place is so popular with both pro-
1essional anu amateur musicians because they
are nlwa,s sure OF finding the latest anl the
best IN the wav OF tirst-c1ass pianos and organs,
and Messrs. Peltou II Pomeroy, the proprctors,
never fail to extend a courteous Welcome to all
visitors.
The papers are nll nominating Presidential
candidates. With head bowed down in m=ek-
ness, the Derrick suggests the name OF Chastine
Cox. To be sure he never caused 40 manT
deaf hs as Grant, but he eau smoke just as many
cigars, and just as good ones, too, and don't
you forget it.
One OF the most important business changes
that has taken place during the oast year IS tile
remnvai OF the celebrated silk house Of Beldng
Bros. g. Co. from 130 Franklin etreet to more
commodious quarters at LII and 149 Fifth
avenue, between Madison and Monroe streets.
The SPACIOUS double stores aboye mentioned
have been remodeled aud fitted up with STYLE
thn%E yrat- -1,y
it a1tosekler the finest salesroom OF the kind In
the world.
Here is q recipe for making a Russian peas
ants coat: Take an old tattered blue dressing
gown and use it twice as mop to clean I'D
stable floor. Next rub wheel-grea5e into the
lower half, and let 1t dry black and hard in the
SUD. Next sprinkle the upper half with hard
lard and cAndle-droDpiDgs, not forgetting to
give the sleeves a double quantity. Next wipe
off street-crossng with it thoroughly, choos'ng
a particularly muddy day for the trial: Next
wet it with cabbage soup {sl'e faVoFite food OF
face. FINALLY, let your dog sleep In it for two
years.
Talk is cheap, but low prices will tell. Messrs.
Il. s. ~ Newbcreer, the wel-known furniture
manufacturers, n: 30 and 62 Randolph street,
near State, upstairs, will offer during the next
four weeks LOO eacl par(or suits ard chaulbcr
sets at astonishingty low prices, together With
general line OF their uneQuafed furniture. Par
ties contemplating the purchase Of such goods
will consult their own interest By giving them
q call.
'sste's gfddy GIRL" said Smith to Brown,
talking Of chs:er'ng Young LADY at an archery 9,
awful light" and yet Smith smiled to Europe
and journeyed through Germany and France,
md it was not until he was going down the
Rhine that it struck him that Browns remark
had any relation to the word "toxopbi1ite.'
h1essrs. Editors: One of the abuses needing
is the way Blackall, ~ Clark street,
the sidewalk with his shipments Of
Japan tea. He no doubt sells great deal, as
he charges but one small profit.
The gentleman who reserves chairs at o place
Of public entertainment, and then brings his
party in late, With grand flourish, may be very
clever; but he doesn't think so Yhen he finds
that delegation from the Fat Mems CLUB has
squatted down on those chaiFs.and sQuatted to
stay.
twill be seen by an advertisement on the
i1st page OF this issue that Alr. F. 4. Kennedy,
or Camb1lGgeport, hlass.,-lhe largest manu-
facturcr Of biscuits and crackers in the country,
has established branch house in this city at
No. IL River street. This wall no doubt prove 8
great convenience to the Western patrons OF
this deservcdly-popular house.
Richard Grant White says the expression
Il de is going for to go" is incorrect. Richard
s too particular. We suppose he would also
,bject to the remark, "You git right up and git
'.yht out and .e;t"'' Aud yet the fellow to
whom it was addressed would understand it as
quickly rs If you were to sling two pages OF
grammar at him. :,
The Wor1d~renowned Bethesda water, the SOW
.reinn remedy for kidney troubles and indiges-
ion, il received daily fresh from the springs By
Nessrs. Gale & BtockI,; and is delivered free Of
harge to auy part of the citv. An expensive
rip to Waukesha is thus obyiated.
n'rxt. az, rfn eafI