Litchfield enquirer., 1879-08-28
CLIPPINGS.

Faber should have been Pencilvanian. A contemporary calls Riggs ''The Sweet Bullfrog of Connecticut. :" There are said to be no sharks at Coney Is- land-in the water.
 The dentists in convention agree to pull to- gether for another year.
 No man is smart who exaggerates lies when he can just as easy amplify the truth. man who goes fishing should take lur- cheon along. He may get no other biter
 Sara Bernhardt is said to be working pair of slippers for Talmage. ..--v Those who work can take care of themselves. A kind Providence must provide for loafers. When man makes up hls mind that the world owes him living he has arrived at a point when the worldea spare his services.
 Religious little girl to new church member Ma says you've been converted, MT. -, did you ever murder anybody? There are great many people who will never go to heaven unless they can go at ex- cursion rates.
 Lemons alone paid $56O, ,0OO duty into the United States treasury last year. The Gov ernment could hardly get along but for this lemon aid.
 An individual who called his first daughter Kate, when his wife surprised him with anoth- CT girl, promptly christened her Duplicate.
 A young man at Long Branch was boosting of his ancestry. He said, 'In the olden time they were very high" "Yes," said wag, ''as high as Haman."
 ''1 have nothing but my heart to give you" said spinster to lawyer who had concluded a suit for her. "Well," said the lawyer gruf fly, Ego to my clerk; he takes the fees"
 MT. George Rope of San Francisco, got drunk and proceeded to bathe in the public fountain. They arrested him, not wanting any tight-rope exhibitions in the street.
 Most any sort of clumsy thief can steal and be found out. The real talented person is the one who can steal systematically for years and continue to grow more popula: in socie- ty.
 James, did you divide your paper of cho- colate with your brother?" "Yes, certainly, mamma; ate the chocolate and gave him the motto-he is so fond of reading, you know"
 A young clerk in Holyoke spent six hours in refrigerator the other day, having been imprisoned by mistake. He felt on coming out as though he had just been entertained at fashionable church sociable.
 My! what steep hill! And see those ten or eleven wretches packed in one wagon that the poor, staggering horse can hardly draw!" "Wretches? Them are all Christ ians mum, going to the camp meetin'."
 For he might have been preacher,
 A writer, or teacher,
 Or an Adirondackian
 But in spite of all temptation To assume some other station,
 He becomes a blackboard man. ChOrus-For it's greatly to his debit, etc.
 A man'may go fishing and catch handsome string of fish, and lose them out of the back of the wagon coming home, or have them grab bed by the dog at the house where he left h:s team, but he can never tell the story and have it believed.
 A gentleman from the provinces went into the shop of Parisian tailor to order some clothes. While his measure was being taken he said to the sartorial Aristarchus, You must find that 1 am very badly dre. ed" 'Oh, mo-" replied the artist, ''you are not dressed at all yon are simply covered"
 A young man who went to a circus and stepped too near the monkeys cage had his arm seized and savagely jerked by one of the monkeys. He would have escaped safely had he not said ''it was merelya monkey wrench" but when they heard that, the irfuriated mob threw him in the lions cage.
 One establishment in New Haven manufac- tured over twenty 1.-two millions of fish hooks last year. And yet, with official returns in from thirty-one States and only two counties in Florida to hear from, there have been only six millions of fish and eleven millions of hu- man thumbs caught this year. The other five million fish hooks are sticking around in sub- marine logs and bridge piles.
 One day last week paragrapher died and went 10 heaven. Peter Was just about to open the gate and let him in, when the young man
 lifted his head from an attitude of deep thought, and said, with marked emphasis, ''Opun the gate" and then, before he could say, ''See ?" he was kicked into illimitabc space and landed in the darkest corner of the drtiest newspaper office he had ever been in. with column of solid nonpareil to get up, and all puns on "fair" and ''bread" barred