Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1879-01-16
Wit U71l1 Hlt,,20r.
The write thing-a pen.


The write thing-a pen.
A close calculation-the tailor's.
A middleman-with a girl on each arm
The sky. unlike nen, is most Cheerful
when the bluest.
An actor ought to be happy man; hi,
work is all play.
Snoring is now politely described as in
dulging in sheet music.
A modern surgical operatiOn-tO TAXI
the check out Of young man. :.
When gamblers fail to agree they pou,
Hoyle on the troubled waters.
To remove paint from door posts-back
up against it when it IS fresh.
Even II clothes line becomes unsteady
when it has too many sheets in the
winl.
1t is said that Anthony Comstock blind
folds himself before disrobing for the
night.
The fellow who got intoxicated with de-
light has been turned out of the temper
ance society.
The days have come when one thing
harder than getting into bed at night is the
getting oVt in the morning
The man who goes to church simply be-
cause he has nothing else to do may not
be heather. but he is certainly an idle
worshipper.
Surprise is one of the principle elements
of wit. This is why it always makes a
man laugh when he sits down on pin.
Talk about the angry sea and the mad
waves. and all that. Humph! you'd be
angry. too. were you crossed as often az
the ocean is.
What can't be cured. etc.-Mike: car
rah, Pat, the pigs are looking in a bad
way" Pat: ''And, sure thin, isn't it tor
consumption I'm driving them to mar
ket ~
A man who is drowned in the deep blue
sea is never cartcd off to a medical college
tor dissection, and his body is never stolen
in the hopes Of securing a reward.
A musician, George Sharp. had his name
on the door thus: &c. Sharp A wag
of painter. who knew something OF mu-
sic. early one morning made the following
undeniable and significant addition: '.ls
A flat
"What's a Biography, Bill?' ''It's tell
in OF forrin lands that We know nothin'
about by cute chaps that's never seen
EN-" Bill got Government situation.
Talma.e must be a tough one if the
New, York Police are ashamed to be seen
in his company. and it is said they refuse
to tramp around with him any more O.
nights unless he disguiscs himself.
There will be one comfort about that
railway which is going to be built up the
side of Mount Vesuvius. The traveller
will always find u warm fire and drop of
the crater when he gets to the top.
A North Carolina paper says of an off,
cial: His mule threw him. dragged him
some distance, and but for rotten saddle
girth. would have caused vacancy in the |
office he now 50 acceptably fills.
An exchange has an editorial headed. !
''Are We getting out of debt?'' Well. !
yes. We are getting out Of debt gradual
", but as fast as we get out of one debt it !
seems as though we get into about three
more.
The Society tor the Prevention OF Cruel
y to animals has most laudable object,
but If they can succeed IA 50 reconstruct
ing the moral character Of the mule as to
make him less careless with his heels, they
will confer lasting favor on the eolored
portion of the human family.
A Gentleman died not long ago who
,ae been addited to his cups. One who
vas not aware Of his habit was making
inquiries of the family physician in rela-
ion to his death. and among other mat
ers asked about his spiritual condition.
1T was excessive" replied the doctor;
that was what killed him.
A person who was recently called into
ourt for the purpose Of proving the cor
ectness of surgeons bill, was asked bv
he lawyer whether 1.-The doctor did hot
make several visits after the patient WAS
ut Of danger"' NO.. replied the
Il considered the patient in dan
er rs long as the doctor continued his vis-
ts.' |,
She met him last Sunday evening, and
shered him into the parlor. saying, '.rhe
'eather changed suddenly" "Yes, get
amp quick" said he, and yet hs can't az
ounf for her leaving the room so uncere-
'onio"sly. and the oil gent appearing !:
nd conducting him out.
1t Is reported that a man went home !
bout three O'Clock one morning. and us =
x his umbrella ar billiard cue, smote ,
g sleeping wife in the short rib. CRYING. a
Pool = and sank into sweet sluIlbtr. t
e has since explained to his wife that v
omen can have no idea how the cares of d
lsiness viii sometimes affect mans Il
ain.
AE PooolDAE LIGHT 0F THE FU- n