Louisiana capitolian., 1879-12-06
Ihq Iouisiana Qapitolian,

Ihq Iouisiana Qapitolian
OFFICIAL JOURNAL OF THE PARlSf
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A proinnc upstart--.thc inan who Se
OH n bent pin.
Grconbackcrs who bet thei
money on u champion nthlete ofany sort
There IL young man In town callc'
"Poslr; - not on account Of the 'nfor
mntio, he furnishes, but because he 'a NJ
"stuCk.np."
There arc certain men who cnn III
Justly hated for the sound Of heir voice
and yct these nre the very chaps wh'
wouldn't keep atill for love or money
Many girls would rather wear tho'
stockinga with holes In them, than have
them darncd, because when darned tho,
n,c mcn.dcd, mud girls prefer men alive
"rardon mo y anid Bob, when hcstep
ped on girls foot In tho dance "pon'
apologize" anid Hlc; "hoauS on the shoe
arc fashionable, md We can stand any
thing for style
Shakespeare never repeated. 1her'
waa n gifted littlc boy In Kentucky wb'
rosemblod tho immortal bnrd In this I'm
portant particular. lie thohgbt'css''
twisted nmuIos tail,
II In impossible to hang n bud man
The negro dropped into eternity nj th'
Texas Sulpher Springs on Friday an'd III
"fclt that tho golden gate Of glory wa
open 10 receive him.
'Ah ladies' snid au old cpiourc aa IN
oponod bottle Of wine, what Ia NOR
delightful than tho popping Of u cham
pagno cork 7 Tho popping of tho q'eS
tion, unanimously cried the ladies.
"Falhcr,' snid wistful lass, abou
sixiocn years of ngo, "l know something
about grammar, but cannot dcc'in
matri,nony, nor aeo the reason why my
self and Gilbert cannot bo corrugated.
An old man who had boen badly hhr
in railway collision, being ad viscd T.
auc tho company for damages, sntd, "We'
no. not for dnmagca--l'yo had enough u
them; but I'll just aue 'cm for repairs.
"Thnt's wlnt call u finished sermon.
,aaid u lady to hcr husband, M the
wcndcd their way home from church
"ycs,' was tho reply, with d yawn, "bt'
do You know, thought 1t never wonl
he's
II may appear remarkable, but Cay
emo pepper, ono of tho hottest of things
'is excellent to make leo water. IL yo
don't believe this, throw handful !
somebody's face, md watch tho cyc
water.
When man is young he spends mnc
time In parting his hair In tho middle
When ho is old and bald he wastes mnc
more time in trying to makf the ends {
his sparse locks meet on tho polisbo
Grown above.
When n newspaper paragraph opc'
In lans""so ~" e"ft 30 tho hpsom ut love
and as sweet M tho tinklo of u woO'
land brook, IL Ia always safe to conclnd
that tho virtues Of some patent mod
cine nre harnesscd on To the end.
A man Of had reputation was con
planning to tho writer til ht ccrta'
person had ruined his CHI tractor. =
much the bctteD' replied Il O writer, ia
10 was very bad one, and fhc sooner
WIS destroyed, tho more to your advm
tngo.'
Az n party Of gentlemen and ladic
were climbing to the top Of high chure
towcr one hot day, u gentleman remark
cd "rhis IL rather spiral flight I
isiops.' To which n lady rcjoincd, "Ye'
porspirnl,' and sho wiped her brow Il
shc spoke.
The little boy who tried to rest bi
melon on tho park railing on last even
Ing sadly remarked when Il dropped !
the sidewalk, "Thafs n party sick look
In melon, but tan't nothing near M ba
brokon up M I'll bo when | got HON
without IT,"
In the sweet, balmy, delicious happ
noss of cloves young dream" yout
will not only insist on cracking walnut
for his girl, but on pceling thom as wei
Two years after marriage he will no
even let her have tho nut-cracker unit
he is &'rough."
At n public gathering lately, in Ne'
York, ono Of tho gentlemen present wa
called upon for speech and this is ho,
he responded: Gentlemen and women
Il amt no spcochcr. Morc'n twont
years back camo here poor idiot bo,
md now what arc II
A young lady who had been married
little over year wrote TO hermattcr-o
fact old father, saying, "We have I'll
dearest littlo cottage in the world; orn'
mcntCd with tho most charming litt|
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