Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-01-04
Hawk-Eytems.

-
there are very serious tones in sermons,
too.
These careless Indians want to han
die the Black Hills very cautiously;
they're loded.
II am like an old fint-lock musket.
It's next to impossible to make me go
off. - w. Hobbs.
Don't make 80 much fun of Alexan-
der Stephens. He isn't nearly 80 thin
as some men are short.
"Never believe lazy man." says the
observaDt Small, of the Atlanta Coast
tuition, ''for he lies half the time"
Missouri has twenty three greenback
papers, an empty treasury and a state
debt that columns up like shot tower.
Don't you suppose all the poetry that
has been written about it up north, has
tendency to aggregate the yellow
fever?
You cannot see the apple wagon in
the street, but you know it is there by
the great multitude of boys that con-
ceal it from your view.
"They never fail" sang Byron, "who
die in great cause" Which is just
where they differ from New Jersey saw
ings banks, which do.
The red-ribbon movement has swept
this country so thoroughly that in the
interior counties saloon is as great
rarity as an old-line whig.
1t did re lots of good, one day up in
Minnesota, to watch young man hack
ct a tree an hour and half, carving his
name, and then spell it wrong.
The Kronikle-H Herald says Philadel-
phia has "but half the cheek and blus-
ter of New York" All, and what for
tunate city has the other half?
1t must be very dull in England just
now. There hasn't been passenger
packet run down by an from clad since
ten o'clock yesterday morning.
Probably there is nothing in the
world that man resents so quickly
and so deeply, as to find You awfully
busy when he is perfectly at leisure.
One of the most saddest and vexa-
tious trials that comes to girl when
chO lldt IACSy ID bldb OuC Has w uibCUdTR0
her mother and depend upon hired
girl.
One CO the walters at Dunbar depot
restaurant has learned to play tune on
the gong. Will Mr.. Edison please hide
himself CT go away and chew iron for
awhile.
There is only one thing that is more
wearing and annoying and depressing
to man than having to wait for a train,
and that is, when the train hash t waited
for him.
Pure Havana cigars are now adver-
tised Mt thirteen for quarter, and the
humblest citizen may smoke himself
into nervous fit at the trifing expense
of nine cents.
A Tennessee mob took negro from
Jail at Murfreesboro, the other night,
and hanged him. There was some
doult of the negro's guilt. but there is
none of his death.
1t was thought to be big thing in
ancient times when Ajax threw off his
ulster and defed the lightning, but
now almost any man raises thunder
if his dinner is cold, and the poets
never say word about it.
This busy, grasping, quarreling,
scheming, restless world never seems
so still, SO deathly quiet, and yet SO ST.
lently wide awake to the improvident
man, as at the very moment when he is
yanking picket off his neighbours fence
for kindling wood.
"Can storied urn and animated
bustf" asks the poet. We don't know
anything about the urn, but the ''ani;
mated bust" usually holds high carni.
val throughout this country during the
entire political campaign. Office
hours. 1890 p. m. to 2:15 q. m. Don't
knock; push.
We once knew man who was always
praising his wife. On the corner,
down the street, at the pOstoffice, at the
race track, in the skating rink, at the
theater. in the sal-that is, at the choir
meeting, he was always telling what
happy man he was, just because he had
such splendid wife, and he talked
every man he met into perfect frenzy
of envy ABOUT her. Well, one winter
morning when it was not yet too light
TO make one appear overly ostentatious.
we sneaked into that neighbours yard to
steal fence board for kindling, and
had to wait before we could safely OBJ
tain it, until that mans wife came out
and sawed acouple Of armfullsof wood,
shoveed out three snow paths, fed and
groomed the horse and cleaned out the
COW shed, and then when she went into
the house and we heard her call to her
husband that the sitting room was warm
enough for him to dress in it If he
wanted to get up now. we were So
amazed that we forgot what we were
waiting for, and went back and kindled
the FIRE with a corn cob and pint of
kerosene.
The Aagazias Of American History
reprints from the Hartford Coaraai
tlS07l the following notice:
Thomas Hutchins has advertised
that have absented myself from his