The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1879-11-19
NOVEMBER 10


One Of the sheapest things in the
world is a pleasant smile.
eyes," said Johnny, "lapsus may be
the Latin for slip but / notice when
mother laps US it usually means a
slipper.
at isn't the thinness of the milk l
object to-" said Job Shuttle, as he
pulled out small frog from the
creamer, ats the thickness of the wa
ter that it's mixed with"
mo man can do anything against
his WILL" said a metaphysician.
"Faith," said Pat, II had a brother
who went in the state prison against
his will; faith, and he did,"
Observing boy: "Ma, Aunt Dora
has been eating the honey" Aston
ished mother allow do you know,
my dear ?" Son: "'Cause heard
Mr.. Smith say he wanted to sip the
honey from her lips"
A little boy entered fish market
one day, and seeing for the first time
a pile Of Holsters laying on the coun-
ter, looked intently at them for some
time, when he exclaimed: "By gra-
cious! them's the biggest grasshoppers
I've ever seen"
When the girl who has encouraged
a young man tor about two years sud-
denly turns around and tells him she
can never be more than sister to
him, he can, for the first time, see
freckles on her nose.
He walked up by the sign Of
clothing store, slowly spelling out the
letters, and then soliloquized: sum
mer suits; wall perhaps it does, but
it pears to me there was trife tew
much rain during haying, and tew
much drouth for the artter feed; but
then mebbe it suits your village folks.
Narration Independent.
Necessity knows no law" said
member of our bar one day at dinner.
care you a necessity ?" asked his
four-year.old daughter. "Well, l
can't say. Why do you ask ?" "'Cause
Mr.. Spear says you know nothing
about law" was the innocent reply.
The silence could have been struck
with brick.
"Will the angels come down for
me with chariot and horses when l
die ?" asked little boy Of his Sun
dd3ay school teacher. II guess so,if
you are a real good boy" said the
teacher. The little fellows eyes
sparkled with anticipation as he
eargerly exclaimed; "And, oh! do
you think they'll let me sit on the
front seat and drive ?"-Hackensdck
Republican.
A minister out in Oronto, Wis,
went on strike few Sundays ago.
The congregation assembled and
waited anxiously for him. He didn't
put in an appearance A messenger
arrived, however, with note from
the pastor, stating that divine SER
vice would be suspended until the
congregation purchased him a suit of
clothes so that he could appear in the
pulpit decently clad.-Bosto,a Globe.
On railroad line, recently, a pas
senger stopped the conductor, and
asked, "Why does not the train run
faster p ''It runs fast enough to suit
us. If you don't like the rate of
speed get off and walk" was the re-
.joinder. Il would" replied the pas
senger, settling back in his seat, "but
my friends wouldn't come for me un-
til the train comes in, and | don't
want to be waiting around the station
two or three hours"
Young ladies that travel alone on
the railway that runs through tunnels
should be very careful about their
jewelry. This caution refers partic-
ularly to earrings, which should be
fastened securely. Only few days
ago a young lady had a short ride
beside gentleman, and when the
cars emerged from a tunnel, the pas
sengers observed one OF her earrings
hanging in the rascal's beard There
IS no telling how many young ladies
are robbed in this manner.
A skeptical young collegian con-
fronted an old Quaker with the state
ment that he did not believe in the
Bible. The Quaker said: "Does thee
believe in France ?" "Yes, for though
l have not seen it, have seen others
that have; besides, there is plenty
of corroborative proof that such
county does exist" "Then thee
will not believe anvthino thee or