The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1879-08-07
BRTC- 1-BR4C.


wont to wear their late husbands
skulls as necklaces.
\@--AEexas Judge, with fine sense of
humanity, has fined Il brass band for
playinS in the street. E9r.s3
Economy is the road to wealth.
but allof us who can raise niclSle aro
going to have soda just the same.
"A man may make money picking
up chips if he has good hands, and u,,-
uerstands how to cheat at poker.
"A sociable man is one who, when
Inc has, ten minutes to spare, goes and
bothcrs somebody who hasn't.
There is II great scarcity of water
IN different sections Of The country.
low fortunate it is that but few men
like water. O'
D.. The Cincinnati Satuasloy -NIght
informs "Ioung Farmer" that it can
not tell him "how to cure Il ham" un-
less he informs it what ails the ham.
sherman may yet pay high pas
sage rates for his dcad-hcalili~ on .
revenue cutter in his trip to Maine.
Nothing else he has done as secretary
has drawn such immediate disapprovai.
,,-Pious old lady-"Just think, Rose.
only five missionaries to twenty
thousand calmibals!" Kind-hcartcd
niecc-"Goodncss! the poor cannibals
Will starvo to death at that rate"
The wagon tongue presents an on
ample worthy Of following. II never
indulges in scandal or bitter words.
And it always prcccdcs wheel and
keeps ahead Of whoa.
"A New York woman is accused Of
selling a superb pair ofblack carriage
horses, because they were not bccom-
ing TO her now She had stopped dycinD
her hair yellow. o
. --Hc VISA q Disguised boy. lie had
exercised great caution and had finally
succeeded III crawling unobscrvcd uni
ger the canvas into tho tent. And he
foulu it was not Il circus, but a rcyiy
al meeting in progress.
"A stroling theatrical company was
at the dinner table. a waiter ap-
proached one Of the members and said:
soup" "No, sir" said the person
addressed; 81 am one Of the musi-
cians."
Society papers declare that Mrs.
Godfrey, the dashing widow whose
namc Was SO painfully connected with
that OF Congressman Acklcn in Wash
ington something over q year noo. hns
gone to London to run opposition to
AIRS. Lantry in the beauty business.
"A New York man went fishing
ana returned without q fish. And let
IT. pc recorded, he didn't lie about it
e1thcr. TIC told tho truth, and the citi-
zens just took him down to the wharf
ana dumped him overheard. A man
mrStnot triflc with tra(litions.-N. Y.
E,cpreSs.
"A girl Of sanguinc temperament
ana tastl'lious tastes will take Il connip-
clon lit, irshc happens to get II single
halr III her mouth out Of the butter. bl,t
the same girl will browse around on a
silky moustachc attached to q GOOD
looking young MANS lip and never say
Il word.
-" Restaurant" said Bavard Tavlor
one day, with n twinkle of the eve. "is
derived from res ~ thing and Taurus
Il bulp-a bully thing" "Thc name
Smith," he observed on another occa-
sion, sis obviously u contraction of
Sulrmytll-Snmyth, Smyth, Smith,"
The city council Of Pueblo, COL,
passed an ordinance against CARRYING
concealed weapons, and on tho follow,
ing day most ofthc male residents an-
pearGd on the streets with rcvolvers
and daSgcrs stuck i'll belts outside of
their coats.
a man asked for admission to a
show FOR half price, as lie had but one
eye. But the manager told him it
would take him twice as long to see
the show as it would anybody else and
charged him doublc.-Clncinnuti
'Sotu'ddy Night.
1t is said that in Siam the penalty
Tor lying is to have the mouth scwctI
up. lfsuch rule should be enforced
III this country the yellow fever would
not be circumstance in comparison
with the epidemic Of starvation which
would prevail among the Northern
editors.
New York I1ibune: a we'll known
prcaciier i'll suburban town, while in
structing class Of urchins in the cate
clnsm, told them that God could do every
thing, Whcrcupon one Of them asked:
Can God make q rock so big that He
cart lift it?' yho boys question re-
mains unanswered.
Lord Bcaconsticld was ouitc iaun-
ty ut tho Royal Agricultural Show.
But he looks old and anxious. lie
straightens himself up and pulls him
sclftogcthcr every now and then, like
man who feels the hand Of a9c upon
him. SphinX-like as tho face is, Vou
can see the lines in it, and tho eyes
look weary.
She held firmly on to tho ropes and
gayly warblcd: "Oh, George, isn't
this just nice? Now, really, I think
this Just too exquisite for anything
with the cool brceZes blowing silvcry
foam around in little fairy goblcts.
and" The dash denotes tho mo,
lncnt she swallowed the billow.
We are surprised that there arc so
few allusions to the barrel of the Hon.
ZACHARY Chandler. And yet it stands
TO reason that tho domiiohn must have
u fountain-head. Itovfdently costs the
venerable statesman considerable
amount to conquer the Confcderacy
twice q day and appear sober at break
fast.-Atlanta Constitution.
They had an amateur brass-band at
81 fl1nn1,OI n