Daily globe., 1879-05-18
Facts and Fancies.

sley Ying must go.
Genius stands on bad footing. It is
never we'll heeled
When mans head is turned, of course
it must be block-head.
The fellow who wrote. ooh, ask me
| not Again. must have been full.
Umatilla Indian. Certainly you may
till q Indian, but you never can cultivate
him.
An admircr of Ben. Butler says, as a
leader he is one in hundred. Bermuda
Hundred?
A soft answer turneth away wrath,
but it is not worth one cent to ward off
broom stick.
The Danbury News man has written
six books, and thousands of his readers
are dead, but he is alive.
The happiest moment of a BARRIERS life
is when he is boring out your eye with
his fore6nger fortified behind a wet towel
The Picayune says the man who takes
every kind Of patent medicine offered has
an inquiring mind, though of very poor
quality.
In the lexicon Of youth, it is said, there
is no such word as fail; but that is where
the |. o. y. differs materially from mer-
chantile reports.
The Tom Paine memorial hall in Bos-
ton, is badly in debt, and there is no
Kimball to raise it. Send for Ingersoll.
Detroit Free Press.
The man who has never been kicked by
a mule has yet something to learn, though
he may have dozen diplomas from as
many colleges saying his education is COM
plete.
Adolph to Araminta, on their way to
church-"How would we're the pray
er-book you clasp so lovingly" Reply
"How I would you were, for then could
shut you up
In some cities every loaf of bread has
its weight stamped on it to indicate it's
value; but if every loafer bred in this
town had weight stamped on him, he
would be suppressed.
"Another bungling execution" You
know-great sympathy sherifs ought to
be more careful-poor fellow-nothing
said about the way he stole into house
and chopped up two old people.
The thermometer went ten degrees be-
low Charles Francis Adams Sunday
morning.-Rome Sentinel. Wait for the
heated term and it will be climbing up in
the neighborhood of Dennis Kearney.
elbow to reduce gas bills," is the head
ing of an article in the Buffalo Egpress
A very good way is for the old people tc
retire at an early hour, leaving theil
daughter in the parlor entertaining hel
young man.
Talk about women howling for thei1
''rightsr Where you'll find ten men talk
ing about woman's rights you won't fine
one woman, because the ten men will be
sitting on deal boxes splitting against tho
grocer's stove.
'That dog looks more Intelligent thar
his MASTER said Mrs Mic, as she and he1
husband passed huntsman and hound OF
the roadway. "Evidently," returned c
o. che is man of but one idea, while
the dog is a creature Of two wide-ears, a
least"
, Gold has been discovered at Menomo
nee, Mich, just across the line of Wiscon
| sin, and there is 'sgreet excitement" Th
dispatch, however, does not state the de
nomination, and the public is left in tn
, dark as to whether it is a five, ten or twen
: ty dollar piece.
When we read in an exchange that cal
! , communications to this paper should b
written in full clear hand" we silentl
smile as the probable chirography of tn
editor of that sheet rises up in the imagi
nation in the chaotic form Of Chimes
puzzle struck by lightning.
"Those horried beans again" quoth John,
AS home he came to grub,
!, "Why must you ever patrOniZe
e That weakness Of the HUB?
/. "'Tis godliness, my DEAR" said she,
"That wins me to them so,
If we world ever godly be,
We must bean-eat you know"
. We don't object to young people e,
tracting all the pleasure possible as the
. journey through life. But young me
with $6 salaries can't be expected to a
tend more than three dances week, an
have much money left to put in the COZ
tribution box Sunday morning.
e eyes," sighed the young man, as
: felt painfully for the moustache th'
a ought to have been there; "Finsby is or
n of my most particular friends. He is
# particular that he growls if I lend him
< trade dollar, and wants me to consider
o loan Of ninety-fye cents. He is my mo
d particular friend.'
[e On his first trip down the sound, Nj
le Smiley said he slept but little, the gu
II vale of the boat so touched his feeling
:. , and when he looked over into the wate
IS the taffrail-ed at him, making the who
!, !, journey very unpleasant. The old ge
II tleman doesn't want any more sea roll
i i they don't set we'll on his stomach, al
q every time the boat pitched he thong
u he should heave, too.
le