The New York herald., 1879-03-16
CHAT BY THE WAY

CHAT BY THE WAY.
There is time when 1t is so instructive to read
| the hymn book when the contribution box is be-
! ing passed.
| No man can be suspicious OF others without
making others suspicious Of him. and no man can
! spend his time in talking against the honesty Of
others without exciting the feeling that ne himself
| will bear Watching.
| There some men in the world so mean that they
skim the milk at the top and then sigh because they
| can't turn it and skim it at the bottom
| II a man would live quietly in the world he must
| learn to keep his eyes and open and his lips
barred.
1t was Irishman who said Of unfinished
| monument that the mistake in not beginning to
build it at the top. So in of heavily encum-
bered churches, the mistake In not paying Off
| the mortgage first.
| Many persons go through life the lady went
through Johnson's Dictionary when it first pub
| lsned. though not with the results. she
told the author that she pleased to find i'm
, proper words in 1t. "Ah" he replied. II see you
| have been looking for them"
| We have great sympathy fer the bachelor who
when dying left all his property three ladies who
| had refused his offers Of marriage. Nobody can
tell" he whispered. chow much those Indies have
contributed to my happiness.
Nyou want 10 spoil your child give him kerosene
lamp to play with. The chances are that after the
| explosion he will be spoiled pretty completely.
The great moral question Of the hour is whether
the wife Of who is divorced ought to be called
o spare rib.
How suggestive is the speech Of children when
they handling great subjects without knowing it,
"My father" said mute. inglorious Milton "is in
the grocery business. and he has lots Of money!
| The incipient Shakespeare looked the mute, in.
glorious Milton in the eye and said with fervor
"And my father is in the bankruptcy business and
| has got more money than your father has,"
Somebody may have wondered what we meant
when in last weeks Chat said that the severest
| comment on DR.. Talmago TO be found In tho
statement that he the presiding genius of the
| Brooklyn Tabernacle. We must have been using
drop of Horace Greeleys ink at the time we wrote
the sentence His ink In the habit of scattering
itself tho page in such fantastic shapes that tho
compostors of the 7ribsme compelled to use
one of the numberless rooms in the Tower an
asylum for temporarily insane type settlers. What
we intended to say that the severest criticism
that has been made DIR. Talmago is contained in
the statement that he is the presiding genius of the
Brooklyn Tabernacle.
1t is said that in great while lady found
who is not specially gifted in the fluent use of Ian
guage. who even indulges in recurring periods of
silence. which. though they cannot be depended on
last any length of time. nevertheless very re-
freshing Some husbands short sighted enough
not TO appreciate these silent intervals feel that
they must be symptoms Of approaching dissolution.
One fond husband. who noticed that his wife INDUCED
in frequent half hours of pensive thought became
alarmed. It such q strange experience in his
household. which generally enIivened by a flow
ofccnvcrsstion which resembled Q mountain tor.
rent. that he determined to try an experiment and
n
wife. 80 beautiful spring morning when the
new fashions had just set in. he firmly refused To
buy bonnet for his better half. II was rs all
husbands will testify, heroic measure and ono
not unattended with danger The silent wife looked
at him TOR moment in dumb astonishment Then
her lips opened. the flood gates lifted the dam
was broken, and from behind those pearly teeth
came incessant and mcrcilcss current of words
which almost made him wish he had never been
born. The lady cured she has never been silent
for ve consecutive minutes. day night since that
hour. In commenting on the matter he said in sad
and piteous tones. that his experiment was entirely
successful but that he almost sorry he was ever
induced to try It.
A certain class of lawyers ought to have been
christencd Necessity. because necessity knows no
law.
There is in the world who so closely re-
semblcs unripe lemon. which ia both sour and
bitter. as professional gossip: person
who makes gossip vocation and settles down to
stcidy business. What delight there must be in
having ones grow long. in accordance with the
theory OF Darwin. through necessarily pricking
them up to catch tho faintest echo OF something
evil that is said about the next door neighbor.
Again referring TO the theory of Darwin which in
forms us that an organ used increases size and
used decreases until. at last it is wholly OBJ
litcrated vhat curious future awaits the gossip.
All and lips with the rest Of tho body shrunken
to the proportions Of mummy. aud as juiccless.
Two long ears. supernaturaliy developed. two lips
in perpetual motion and two pecring. curious cycs
only thesc and nothing more. we'll. IL one is really
malicious it is charming to hear somebody say that
somebody else is in the same prcdicament.
The poet follows in the footsteps of science and
tells that the black is an unfinished piece Of
work. Science has discovered the reason why
the negro Is as black no is but poetry shrewdiy
attributes IL to press of business
De Lord made de cullud man,
He made him In lie night
he made him in hurry.
An forgot to make him white.
Or. James Freeman Clarke. of Boston, recently de-
lvercd discourse ON the Chinese question. He
very quantity and truly said that in America IL u
is black we cnslave him; IL he Is red we steal
his lands and massacre his wife and children aud II
he is yellow won't let him come here at all
The grass gets its dew nearly all the year round.
and that Is than most men can saw However
some very fortunate. for our Just dues are
exactly what don't want to have.
The great difficulty with some young men who
fall dstractedly in love Is that their affection s too
deep. They even love the ground tho lady walks on
but IL shc had ground TO walk on they wouldnt
love her SO much. Human nature can exhibit soar.