The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1879-08-02
THE LAWYERS RETREAT.
The Characters Gathered in That Lega4
Invalides.

ST. Johns River, florida July = 1879
To the Editor Of the Democrat:
In nv last gave you. some description u
al, r j. fnr Did and decayed lawS ers. II
onuld fnIly and graphically deneate ne
characters that are gathered II 1hls remark
able inraiides Of the legal veterans, cohld
furnish picture gallery Tor some So ~!
Thaararar There Is old Major Rolllcker,
farinsta,,ce He is major only by courtesy,
FIR ha never led squadron In the field. or
hoard the alarms Ut fierce vlsaged war. On
fhe contrary he liz III slippered and pantal0oned
old gentleman. with woforeheads, one frontal
and the other oeciputal, with q boundary line
between marked BY some short and sparse
gray hairs. The Major is called "the philos-.
opher," for the reason, ! suppose, that
opinions. was introduced into the ''smoke-
ry' the other evening. This Is picturesque
PAVILION with broad French windows opening
on vine-clad piazzas overlooking the river,
and the park, and the Orangery. good slzed
shoe box, homely but convenient. was hall
filled with fragrant Durham and oil sorts
of pipes We're ranged In racks On the walls.
The veterans were dispersed around, some Ill
proIlps some putting In cOntemplatlve silence.
NV attention was soon attracted by the Major,
for seeing that ! WAS a stranger he soon liked
me with his glittering eye Without waiting
for The formalty fan Introduction, ne opened
conversation by some friendly inquiries about
the brethren In the parishes. Inc conversa,-
ton drifted into a discussion of the present
political complications LII our State. The Ma
jor struck his vein.
our State are sorry set. They stink and
shine. and shine and stink, like a stale mack
erel lii the moonlight. They have got about
as much craftsmanship as there is halr pa
tosds belly" / ventured to remark that the
atmosphara of our politics had been some
what polluted, but that 1t was now senslbly
purified by the efforts OF some ot our pioiaes-
sional brethren. MOI 2 blt, ~. Iie ililu
Ii.
breath III the Sahara desert. Beside, lawyers
have no business In politics. Inc first re-
corded instance Of lawyers engaging 10 pollti-
cal discussion was when the Jews hlfed t me
Roman lawyer Tertulus to appear for the
prosecution Of the great State case ot the san
hedrlm vs. st. Paul He came against him
like an avalanche, tried to throw dust IN the
eyes of the court, and put on sou soap
like a clock peddler, but st. Paul came
out first best at last. ] tell you. sir that you
people In Louisiana may talk about reform
till scales grow on your skin as thick as an
alligator's hide. you may shed tears over your
noltical evils as big as my thumb--but TIL
You purify the bar and the press, you will put
the dislocated limb Of Louisiana politics back
In Its socket just about as soon as your young
est shaver will send the planet Jupiter a gill
pin through space with q ngger-shooter.
They tell me. sir, that every nigger IN Louis
lana. as soon as he spells up to baker, goes
70 preaching, and IN be logged IT, under this
new regime, every leatherhead out OF Goose
q setting up for a lawyer. Why. Sir, when
1 went to the bar 1t was an honorable
profession, and the yahoos Thought II great
condescension for me to take hog and homlny
with them; but they tell me now that they
amt regarded more than NANCY dog The
great mistake, sir, is In considering the pro-
fession rs trade to make money out 81.
That's a heresy worse than even was concocted
by twenty Thousand false prophets concerted
with the devil 1t Is a great public trust.
Jeremy Bentham says that law ts the science
holding In her hands the happiness Of the
nations. How are its votaries to preserve q
holy priesthood in her temples ii they stray
off To scramble in a dirty arena Of politics,
play hail fellow well met with Iom, DICK and
Harry, and drink pine-top whisky with Niger
voters, sweetened with brown sugar, out OF a
tin Gun and stirred with the finger. In
old Rome the lawyer never took Q
fee-he had no legal claim for services his
compensation was honorarlum. In England
barrister never sees a client, and his back Is
Hill monument. But the way things are 60
Ing now we'll hear Of fees payablein pindars,
and the glorious traditions OF Porter and
Martin vii pass away like morning mist on
the Misss sippi' ,m.=.
might lave heard much more OF the same
sort, but a. the Major was doing all the talk
ing, and don't believe in mOnopolies, man
aged to tear away from his finger In my but
ton-hole, with the friendly assistance OF some
bystandcrs who wanted chance to ventiate
some OF their own crudities. For !
found out later that every man
had his pet theory, and the opportunity
OF airing 1t before a visitor was rare and
God-given chance My mentor very kindly
took me aside and informed me that the
Majors excellent views Of professional life
We're purely theoretical; that he had not had
case for fifteen years before coming to the
retreat: that he gained admittance to the bar
by rack-row, and for his life couldn't tell
the difference between an Antichresis and
anti-Christ. | went to bed with deeper and
stronger conviction of the beniiicence of this
grand institution, where the harmless yanities
of age are soothed. and the declivity of life Is
gently graded and shaded from the scorching
heats of the world. | am gratfied to be able
to state that am receiving numerous letters
of inquiry and have hopes Of gaining many
subscriptions of stock.
Yours truly, LEX.
- d -