Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1879-12-18

ancient-looking plug hat as he entsre
the post-office and said he would lik
to rent box. The chief clerk wa
ready to accommodate him, when tb
applicant said 7:
Ode terms am cash, | 'spose -
Eyes, sir"
as dar any trust %
"No, sir you must pay quarterly il
advance"
"Jes so, sab. Make me out deet
tor dis yer box an your quarter an
ready"
"The price Is twenty shillings PEI
quarter Of three MONTHS" explained
the clerk.
| The colored gentleman fell back a
the rate OF a mile minute, hut slowly
advanced after recovering from his
shock Of surprise, and repeated
Twenty shillin's cherry free months,
and no trust l'
"The same.'
The man took from his coat tail
pocket broken two foot rule and
measured the dimensions Of the box
Then shutting up the rule he swelled
out and exclaimed
Does dis pos ofus take me fur a
fool, sab Does dis ignoble guv'ment
imagine dat I've gone crazy, sab :"
~ guess not" .....
"Den why, sab, does dis ignoble guv'-
ment try to rob me, sab 7 Look at de
idea kin rent hull hoss-ba on
Indiana street for 81 month, sab, an
yet dis ignoble guv'ment axes me to
pay twenty shillings a quarter fur a
pos offus box not half as big as one
snd Of manger! wasn't BON in de
woods, sah-no, sah-an' you can keep
dat box, sab, dis ignoble guv'ment kin
pass my letters frew de winder, sab I"
AsouARE BACK DowN.-A day or two
ago lady residing on Dufield street
was summoned to the door to see boy
about twelve years of age, who had a
cheap hat rack to sell. When the lady
appeared he said
MADAM, my father is dead, and
won't you please buy this hat rack for
twenty five centsY"
She was sorry that his father was
dead, but She didn't want the hat rack.
The next day the same boy and the
same hat rack returned, and the boy
said:
Madam, won't you please buy this
hat rack, for my mother is dead, too'"
She was sorry that his mother was
also dead, and she gave him slice Of
bread and butter, but she didn't want
to invest in hat rack. Two days later
the boy called again with the same
identical hat rack under his arm, and he
looked the lady straight in the eyes and
and said:
MADAM, won't you please buy this
hat rack, for my sister is also deadi"
"My goodness is it possible that
you have lost father, mother and sister
in one week." exclaimed the lady.
"Yes num-"
"And wha. allied them!" she asked.
81 dunno, mum, but kinder feel it
in my bones that unless | sell this ere
hat rack afore Saturday night death
will use up the rest of out family and
BE- going for other folks"
:'lf buy this hat rack of you, will
you tell me the TRUTH"
"Yes mum"
She handed him quarter and asked:
"Did your father, mother and sister
lie this week."
The boy looked at her, hesitated, and
hen laid the quarter on the railing,
picked up his hat rack and said, as he
vent down the steps:
81 only get five cents commish for
elling these racks, and | can't afford
o kill off three of the family and res
Irrect them for any such figure Good
we, mum, it's a square back down on
le.
A DIME SUPpER.-They had dime
upper in the neighborhood of Pa
aucket conceived and carried out by
be ladies. The conditions of the novel
upper were these. For every word
poken by the gentleman at the supper
able forfeit of ten cents was imposed;
ut, on the other hand Gas duties are
ways compensated with rights and
it was agreed that who
YER could weather the whole supper,
lbmit to all queries, surprises and
,genious questions without replying,
hould he entitled to it gratuitously.
Iany and frequent were the articles
nd subterfuges resorted to by the !
Idies in attendance to entrap the un-
uarded, and one after another stout /
nd discreet men went down before the
instant volley of artful interrogatiops. :
At last all fell out and paid the dime Il
enalty save one Individual queer Q
nobody seemed to know. f.
. attended strictly to business and |
sssed unheeded jokes, iibes and chal- !
nges. They quizzed him; but in
lin. He wrestled with the turkey
I'd grappled with the goose. He ball =
out the cranberry sauce with an un-
verving hand, and he ate celery as
g scriptural vegetarian ate grass; and u
tally, when he had finished bis fifth b
ece of pie, he whipped out pocket St
ate, wiped it with his napkin and
rote on it. in large legible hand Il
a deaf and dumb - IN. Y. Times
THE SHARP NosED GENTLEMAN.-The :
tile Rock, Arkansas, Gazette" states, =
at during the great struggle in the a
st Presidential canvass, young man
lose face nature had formed little =,
the pick-axe style, was one public D.
y surrounded by number ofhearers
'entively listening to his efforts in
.ctioneering, amongst whom was
ain old farmer who was afflicted with q
who thus accosted the said
ntleman "T-tell me my friend did
Int you come from rich na-ha bour-
nd 20