The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1879-05-18
,oyE covcEA LED AND LovE REvEALED
n..pondent, PctpIeNed, Obstinate. Repentant,
discouraged I,nd Cured Levers Advised.

We find aftQ long and attentive reading
nj, our ex,cnsUe love correspondence only
ANAL part OF which we have space to print. that
whereas the cecs are few in which young men
ore in any dutbt as to whether they are swayed
NV tho gentf passion. young women arc fire.
oncnily unaye. or profess themselves unable to
drtermtne wethcr the feelings they entertain
toward the kutors rise to the supreme elcva-
zion OF loyejr merely attain the level Of liking
which Is dendship only. The man is in no
doubt aboJ the state OF his heart and presses
forward ekerly II not hopefully to win the OBJ
iect Of hiAcsire but the Girl dallies with her
sentimcnhnd seeks to weigh and nnalyzc IT, Il
IT astin9nd unconquerabe love or is 1t n mere
transitot fancy which will yield to the trials of
life sndbe superseded by sorrow and disap-
pointmff
tbs tie that when the maidens themselves.
unknoh to their swans come to the confess
sional The SUN. they bare their hearts and
isrelyideed trife with us by using the arts Of
coQuey They are after serious advice and
so INIT are they on getting It that they forget
to clk their real feelings and make no secret
OF thsentimcnts to which elsewhere they might
blus to give utteraDcc. Such condolences. OF
eouDe. impose n great and heavy response
bin on tribunal Of love- But they also ena-
bios TO observe the workings OF the feminine
hort, and to speak words Of encouragement to
dependent lovers who are cast down in spirit
pthaps simply because they are unfamiliar
vth that intricate machine. The young fell
Tvs are too impatient-though their impet-
bsity is not bar TO their success or an unpar-
enable offence in the eyes Of their charmers-
b stand by and SEQ their sweethearts play with
love and tantaze H. though all the time anx-
ious to keep it near. and fearful lest 1t may fly
away. No wise lover takes a girl at her word
when she tells him sho doesn't know whether
she loves him or not Even II she is in doubt,
she won't remain so long. Let him prepare to
raise the flag OF victory rather. Neither IL ii safo
10 assume that because girl does not give i'm
mediate encouragement to sutton she is indif-
fercnt to his attractions. Perhaps her feelings
are so strong toward him that in order to curb
their expression too early she has no recourse
except in apparent apathy.
Here is case in point. the unhappy victim OF
maidenly reserve being girl Of this city:
sin. am young lady 10 year, old, Mine /. case Of
treated m@ 81, egdiy Sow feel sorry gr my abiup,
know how AL might never zee MIN again / bote he
viii THIS =, least II he does not me. All ihsve
me- He acted the gentleman a. he wanted to do
- vii be Kind to you" forever ringing in my ears
au constant reader OF your valuable PAPER Tel me
Do not throw ms IN your basket OF waste papers and
another girl. our correspondent did not know
how much she priced her captive until she had
lost him By being too coy. Let him return to
her. and gladden. her sad heart. and also let
other lovers bear in mind that a rebuff is not
always to be taken seriously.
Another case where u young man. and min
lister at that went away ignorant Of what he
was possessed Of is thus presented:
sa FIRST y9lns gentleman; minister Of the Gospel,
made 10 MS mind to move % different State. when
which Was not So ami he did not ask me 70 wTite \" nm
II has been six months since he went Would u be
9nd s considered proper Tor LADY 70 be accompanied
The evening" Ihitd. when lady has the right 10 invite
her friends TO another lady social party nyiv
FOURTH. 4 gentleman hls lady gooihy the parloi
me goodwin the paror and did 20 to The do1T with
b an y ABOUT aP, Iss TO zee ne nSs ought he 70
horseback riding with met NmpREp
1t would hardly be the thing for you to open
the correspondence with the preacher. though
you might see TO 1t that he was informed that
you are still fancy free. But we fear you have
lost him. Young parsons not fairly meshed are
hardly TO be trusted so long In new flock
they are pretty sure to find new lambs to love.
and TO forget their old charmers. Let girls.
moreover. be careful about setting their hearts
on attractive bachelor preachers. for with so
many to love and console they are apt TO scatter
their affections like their pious advice and to
get an undue estimate OF their destinations. o.
yes. it Is right enough to go with the gentlemen
to make the call. II she is SO disposed and is
satisfied he is proper person. she may take the
freshly introduced fellow along with her to the
party. II she bids the caller good-by in the par
lor that is enough. He is a fool for getting
angry because she doesn't 20 to the door with
him, and in truth. it is better that she should
not Why certainly ask him to ride with you.
Such request is both a command and a tend
ering OF privilege. though.
Here is a case OF Virginia lover who as n
matter of principle, is submitting to martyrdom
rather than stand his petuant and tyrannical
sweetheart's tantalizing ways:
sra / am strongly attached 70 beautiful girl Of ~
years and have been engaled to her more than year
but from some unaccountable reason she discarded
her 9ve Tor me and think had let matters alone, she
ins as on former occasion she once did though In.
time tSoust Would be seins abad prseedeu1 s"m
Ing her 10 discard me and then recall me Al pleasure So
me badly but not honorably and after other strong
and her love have not seen her now Tor several week.
and have completely broken on my attentions to her
The young lady ~ question Is gre atty admired and in
measure, has been spoiled by her family. Unul She
has ruled all her adnrers with despoie authority and
70 set himself w. IN opposition 70 her wiL In fact have
control me Now have the strongest evidences
with all my heart, but / do not wish Tor her 10
imagine she treat just she chooses. and
this reflection has prevented NE from making any al.
vancea Maybe HAD better tell you am - years old.
and have been accused OF ubstiuacy hy my tfrnds I
have gwen up attending parues ana entertainments be.
cause do not wish 10 meet my guardian "ladt love
Napoleon the only victory Is flight and
recognize the truth Of what he said Tor could
contr, myseifin the youne adys presence did she but
beslow upon me one Vi her sweet smiles fERfLExirT
We admire the forttude Of our Virginia
friend. but we shall not accuse him of unmanly
weakness when he again yields to those smiles.
Sometimes such a test as that to which he is
putting his love results well for both parties.
but suppose while no is dragging out existence
apart from this spirited girl She should become
the prize OF another. what would his state then
be2 Tits between lovers may give a spice Of
sharpness to the honeyed bliss Of the enam-
ored. but beware OF making them too serious.
Whea you surrender do not try to make condi-
tioas. but ignore the past. There's no use in
setting up your obstinNcy against hers. You
cannot force her to yield. but when she is ready
10 capituate she will do it wholly and Of her
own accord. Lovers who set out to reconstruct
the dispositions Of their sweethears in any
other way than by making them 80 fond Of them