Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1879-09-04
The New "AnnlhIIatOr."

Bright and early, before one-tenth of the
citizens of Detroit had shaken off the eff
fects of the glorious Fourth, Professor
James X. Z. Bnrlingame made his appear
ance on several streets in Detroit almost AT
the same moment. You would have known
him TO be professor, even if you had seen
him tangled up with butcher-cart. That
tall plug hat, carrying the stains of years
that linen duster girted at the waist-his
long hair hanging down to keep his shOul-
ders warm, was dead give-away on his
title
The Professor came here to dispose of
individual rights to use his "Fly Annihi-
lator," and he didn't let thoughts of the
next Presidential election set him down on
bench. His piccolo voice inquired of a
woman at the front door of a house on
Congress street east: =
Madame, have you ten seconds to spare
this morningl"
''No, sir, " was the prompt reply.
every well, then you will miss seeing
my Fly Annihilator, he remarked, as he
walked off. Thousands have missed it,
to their everlasting sorrow-thousands have
accepted it and been made happy for life. "
''It's some kind o pizen!" she called
after him down the street.
Warranted free from all drugs or chem
icals dangerous to the human system, and
recommended to people troubled with
sleeplessness," he called back, as he briskly
retracted his steps.
1--WE got screens in every window, and
yet the fys get in, she continued, as he
opened his satchel on the steps.
'Of course they do-of course. A fly
is like human being. Bar him oUt and
he is seized with desire to get in at any
price. Tell him he can't and he will or
break his neck. Fling away your screens
and depend entirely on my fly annihilator,
warranted to kill on sight, and can be
worked by child four years old This is
the application"
He took from the satchel an eight-ounce
bottle filled with dark liquid and pro-
vided with a small brush, and holding it
up continued:
Zone twenty-five cent bottle does for
twenty doors, and | give you directions
how to make all you want. No poison
here-nothing in this bottle to trot little
children up to the cemetery"
"Why, you don't put it on the flies, do
youl" she asked.
"Not altogether, madam. Any child
can use it, as said before. Just watch
me moment"
He swung the front door open, and with
the brush applied the mixture to the back
edge, giving it a thin coat from top to bot
tom.
Snow, then," he said, as he swung the
door back, ''flies like sweet. This mixture
is sweet. The fly alights on the door, and
you swing it shut, and he is jammed
against the casing and crushed in an in
slant. Every door is capable of killing
1000 flies per day. If you have twelve
doors, your aggregate of dead flies will be
exactly $4,000. When you have crushed
about 1000 on a door, take an old knife
and scrape them off, and begin over again"
''Do you suppose" began the indig-
nant woman, but he interrupted with
''Don't'suppose anything about it, except
that it will mash flies and never miss. ALI
you have to do is to open every door, apply
the mixture, and shut them in succession.
If you have twelve doors and twelve
children, you can leave it all to the
children. And only twenty-five cents a
bottle"
''Do you suppose | want my doors
daubed with flies and molassesl" she
made cuff at the bottle.
'Just as you prefer, madam, he quietly
replied. ''Some do and some don't. Some
won't have it at any price, and others even
set up extra doors in the back yard in order
to use lots of it. III warrant this liquid to
draw 'em, if you'll only open and shut the
doors"
81 won't buy it won't have it," she
shouted, as she jammed the broom against
the door,
every well, madam-very well. If you
prefer fly on your nose to one on the door
can raise no objections. Remember, how
ever, that this is my farewell tour previous
to appearing before the crowned heads of
Europe, and you will not have another
chance to secure the annihilator. All you
have to do is to take your sewing on your
lap and open and shut the door at regular
intervals"
eff my husband was here he'd-he'd-"
"He'd buy the right for this county and
make 800, 900 in two months but, as he
is not here, we'll bid you good day and pass
on. Sorry madam, but some folks prefer
to kill their flies with pitchfork, and the
man with pitchforks will call here in tif-
teen minutes"