Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1879-10-17
ALL SORTS.
"A black suit Spades.

"A piece cOngreSS-A qullunB party.
Over 10000 patents are now issued
in year.
Vermont has a wife and mother
aged twelve years. She eloped.
"A gentleman in conversation said
that his dogs were Al. Shouldn't they
have been rated K9P
"A Marathon man calls his cat Ju-
liet; she is always talking about "Me
romeo. "-MGrdthon Independent.
"A Fraud in Silks" is the startling
headline in an exchange. All! Went
back on you, did sheP-R R0cklaad Co4-
Tter.
One secret man can keep-if he
has balky horse-he has either to keep
the secret or the horse. NC Gregor
NeWS.
when did the human race beginP"
The chances are that it got start when
Adam and Eve were walked out of the
garden.
When three or four tramps come
in for cold victuals, in Cuba, the fact is
telegraphed as a surrender of body of
insurgents.
If every person would be half as
good as he expects his neighbor to be,
what heaven this world would bel
WhitehaN Times.
Always make it a rule never to say
anything before a mans face that yOu
wouldn't dare say behind his back
Whitehall Times.
The Burlington Hd1Ob- Eye has n
story about "The Unwilling Mourn
ers." 1t does not, however, refer to
election matters.
The shrewd old granger who wants
a lot of land broken up, now gets up a
plowing match for prize of five dol
lars.-BoSto1g Post.
The man who frequently remarks
that all things are for the best, gener-
ally regards himself as one of the best.
-PhtliipS Thompson.
An Indian can divorce his wife
merely by humping twice on a drum,
and Chicago will have to brace up to
retain her reputation.-BostOn Post
School Inspector" Now, young
ster, can you name me a mild winter?'
| Scholar-"The winter of rs. Our
teacher was sick then for six weeks. "
| vi u AOd1Cl ,
life is when candidate asks for the
use of his influence with the working
men of his ward.-Neo0 Orleans Pea
gune.
The New Orleans Picdyune wants
to know if babies suffer when they cry.
Good lands, no! Their object is simply
TO make some one else suffer.-FTee
Press.
When Solomon uttered the proverb,
L" In the multitude of counsellors there
is safety" he never thought of apply
ing to newspaper man.-HackenSdck
Republican.
We know a good many men who
are anxiously advocating the payment
of the National debt that forget all
about those contracted by themselves.
ElnnirG Gazette.
If you want to convince boy of 16
that this world is all blank just kindly
inquire about these days if he is going
to block out pair of chin whiskers for
the winter season.-Free Press.
The Rochester Express tells of a
person who "was born, married and
buried or the same day." We never
heard of any person being married as
young as that.-Grdphic.
"A prize offered for a school essay
on " Honesty" in Massachusetts re-
Gently, brought out twenty-three res
ponses. OF these q majority were
stolen, and some of them bodily.
"A spirited new lace pin represents
dog chasing hare in rank grass.
Exchange. And now what we want il
pin representing boarder chasing 8
hair in rank butter.-BoSton Post.
What the cotton-gin does now in
ten minutes, eighty-five years ago was
a mans full days work. Working
every day in the year 100000 mer
could have cleaned last years cottor
crop by hand.
Evidently speaking from expe
rience, the Hackensack Repubticd,
calculates with neat but suppressed
emotion: "The average subscriber tC
country paper generally adopts thu
'go-as-you-please' gait"
The latest thing to blow up anC
kill hired girl is a wash-bench. Ont
can't be too careful how he hang
around the kitchen these days. L
seems as if it wasn't even safe to han
die soft soap or clothes pins.
An Illinois woman, who was be
sieged in her house by tramps, waved
her red stockings from a window, anC
men hurried to the rescue from al
over the township. The red stockin!
had mission, after all.-Free Press.
AT the front gate, two weeks be
fore the wedding. He: "My sweet! m,
; darlingr She: Willie, my love.
At the trent gate, two years after. She
"Bill, where are you goingP" He
"None o. your business. ."-LoutSUiIt
Sunday argus.
Hang a State which makes use o
a Latin motto with its coat of arms
Why not come right out and say: 81
you want whooping old time squa
here;" or English words to that effect
One of the worst swearers in Detroi
got his reputation by making use c
Latin notices. Free Press.
-Inquisitive child, toying with he
cousins hair What makes your hal
, so greasyP" Consin-" Nature ha
/ filled the head with cells of little o
| sacks, which keeps the hair soft an
; oily" Inquisitive child" yes,
know; mother used to find them in m
: hair, but said got 'em from playin
. with that Lewis tribe "-CGnde
Journal.
{ THE MIND READER.
With sudden burst of pent-up ire,
Cries Dick, no longer cool,
: "You either think am a liar
1 Or most consummate fool"
. Says Harry, "Since you force me, Dick,
: fool was inclined
[ To reckon you until so quick
! And true you read my mind"
Boston Transcript.
The kind friend at Memphis VIII
sent us a curiosity for our museum,
g sample block OF the wooden pavemer
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