davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
BY Richardson & Co..
Real Estate Agents and AuctloHeers'
Ills Main street.

1,RUsTEE's SALE OF YALUABhE
REAL ESTATE IN THAT PART q ,; I1E
f,IrS Of RICHMONDKNOWN AS ROChEIi .
ny AUCTIOS.-By virtue of the PROVISIONS VI =
Certain deed of trust, bearing date the "a Gay Oh
Nav, 1877 from Dennis O'Dea and wire, GeS . re-
corded In the Chancerv Court OF me CITY OF MEL en-
mond and decree Of the said Court entered IN tIie
short style of ODea Us. Lee. trustee &C. on itig
5ih day Of July, 1879, shall, as trustee III sald
deed aud by virtue Of said decree, sell ny allctlon:
on the premises or SATURDAY the 10Th day I, Of
mentioned In said deed. and descrhe1 In said degree
ne folI0ws-to wit. those TWO CERTAIN LOIS OF
PARCELS OF LAND. with the Improvement
thereon IN the city Of Eichm ond at ihc corner OF
iouisinna aud Fourth streets. fronting on Louls!-
ana street 32Y feet, or less, an running nack
within parallel lines and On the line OF fouftn street
IN fces 10 an alley ten feet wide: 2ls0 llat Oiicr
LOT Of LAND, with the improvements thereon
froninC SO feet OF Orleans street at tile northwest
intnrscc ion with said fourth street, ana running
hack within parrael lines and with The line OF sa'd
Eourih street 80 feet to said alley, upon the follow
ing . ..,o ,,,;rd 81 Tho rra
goods of safe: the residue In equal ins;almes on L
credit of six aud twelve mouths with leHl lher 81
thereon from dav of sale, the purchaser To cAecie
his negotiable notes for said deferred paSinchts'
with iil.ercs added and title TO The properly 10 Dc
retained uniIl said notes fully paid and con-
ycvance directed by the Court. go, ,-..
RICHARDSON & Co.. AuciionecrS. j
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
) BEWARE OF INVITATIONS.

The genuine are never sugar-coated.
Every box has red wax seal on the Ill., WIN Tue
impression DE-. McLANE's LIVER PILLS.
The genuine McLANE's LIVER PILLS bear the
signatures OF, C. MCLASE aud FLEMING BROS. on
tue wrappers. E
Insist upon having the genuine DIR. c. MCLANE's
LIVER PILLS, prepared by Fleming Bros, Oh
Pittsburgh, Pa the market being full of limitations
Of the name MCLANE, spelled differently Dull same
accommodation. my 12-deow1y
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
BY Robert b. Lyme, a:-
Real Estate Agent and. Auctioncer,
No, 1912 Main street.

TRUSTEE'S. SALE OF a NICE LOT
ERoNTING THIRTY FRET ON THE WEST
LINE OF SEVENTH NEAR BAKER STREET,
NAVY HILL. WITH A GOOD FRAME HOUSE
In execution of u certain deed of trus. FROM Dan
bridge Horseey and wife 70 The nndersgnedd as
in the clerks Office OF Richmond ChGncery Court,
%. BIS &, page 1864 will offer for sale npon:the
premises on FRIDAY the 18th day OF July, 1879,
al 6 O'Clock Z. NJ, being required so 10 do by the
holder of the note secured thereby. default having
been made In the payment Of the same, The PRO
PERTY above described. This LOT, being situated
in a neighborhood that Is improving SO rapidly;
should command the attention OF those OF limited
means seeking good home ard Investment.
note OF $40 with all costs charges, &C., thereon
balance upon terms TO be given at SALE; wynn
ROBERT u. LYME,
iy12 Trustee,
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
II =.
AGUE AND FEVER.

DIR. C. McLANE's LIVER PILLS, In cases
AGuE AND FEVER, when taken with quinine' are
productive Of the most happy results. No better
cshartc can be used preparatory to or AFTER taSns
ouirine We would advise all who are afflicted Win
: his disease TO give them FAIR TRIAL.
For an bilious arrangements, and as simple pur-
gative, they are unequalled.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
BY Frank D. Fill 4 Co.,
Real Estate Auctioneers,
-. 11OS Maiu street.

TRUSTEES SALE OF THREE SMALL
i HOUSES ON"TIIE NORTHEAST CORNER
OF CHERRY AND ALBFMARLE STREETS:-
By virtue Of deed Of trust 10 me. recorded IN Inc
clerks Office Of Richmond Chancery Court IN u; Is,
l12 c, page 514. default having been maze Ia tle
REQUEST OF the beneficiary in said deed. VII sell on
MONDAY, July 81. 1879. on The premises, ~ o.;
o:rock p Nj the PROPERTY described IN Said
deed as follows That certain lot or parcei OK ,,u
mt the northeast corner OF Albelnar'e aug ;Ih
dpnfh OF 135 feet inches 10 az aiiey ~ Gy'Io.i
90 feet wide; with THREE FRAME p Me- r.oUs
md .rn now rented 10 good and prompt-paying ten
ants. Tie property viii be sold as a "hce OF d.
yided to snit The views Of purchaser
third cash; balance III SIX ard twelve months, with
six per cent intcrtat added.
~ IN FRANK D. HILL, Trustee.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
-=IAllU[I,Cl,,rIor ,55lsALEs---ru1uro nays. Z.
by Frank ID. Hill 4 Co..
So Real Estate Agents and Anctioneerts,
l1Os Main street.
.. I. <.r-ne,r,a q .I1. or, HOUSEHOLD

nxEcIrroR,si SALE OF HOUSEHOLD
tjAED KITCHEN FURNITURE BAE- ~ !
TTpTs Sc.-At the request OF the executor or ~.
~. as,ner d. ceased. We viii SELL the premises
Ma al east Broad street, on FRIDAY Jny LTD,
coInmencinv ne O O'Clock a. Pr. OIL the bousEIt
hou as, soBEsDD iNG. PICTgREs:sgdt
HANDsOME'WA RDROBESi ysi,.
CHAIRS. TABLES, &C.,
besides many other articles loo NUMEROUS % ne'i
ton. ,,o, :, r,dv,,efy. the
BAR, BAR-FIX1 UREsL
Stock nfyWINES, BRANDY, SIT
GIN; m n,[icie Usually T found In saloon,
viii he told at the hour above named: ~ .,,t
TEnMs Cash for all sums under saS o oper safi s
amount. sixty days. ~l1 IN nf g u Hill CO.
factory enaoIssr'4sI 90 Auctioneers.
Sale conducted by JNo. E. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS w; fs
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
9.lG.23SsO&Au4s5
BY George s. Easiion & Son. iEctioNeefs'
No. Tenth street, ,.... -.

COMMISSIONERS SALE OF VALuA :,
aST OF THIRp sI EFEEET sETMI paf
bitU. a -, dncI'cc Of the Chancery Court OF the
City Of Rehmod enersd on me F 2S9 cay an Cd
june So IL the sg OF G1Se cia e.
StT' a tie the REhi tEfsTATE above mentioned
nuhlic auction; on the premises on THURSDAY,
III, Gny of july, 1879. II 6 O'Clock Z. NJ. This
t has front OF about 20 feet Third street run
ming back about 90 or 70 feet between parallel lines'
and eighteen months. for negotiable notes. with n-
ierest added: title 70 be retained mill the Whole
purchase money is:psid, and aconveyanee ordered
iiyiO !~'iH' -. Special Commissioner.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
VIRGINIA STATE DEBT.

We are prepared to FUND VIRGINIA BONDS
AND CERTIFICATES OF DEBT INTO TIE
NEW BONDS under act of March %, 1879, atpOn
like terms and conditions as those proposed by
the funding associations.
Parties not holding The required proportion OF
consols and reelers car have the adjustment made
through us upon The most favorable Terms.
All Bonds, &C, con6ded to us shall have our best
personal attention. ...a
will furnish promptly any and all Information
needed. ''':1 X. II. MAURY & CO..
0it.,.t. .,1.. - Stock and Exchange Brokers,
nv 2e.eod2m. So O. 1O16 Main street.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
FINANCIAL.

MONEY TO LEND.-We are prepared
IXl to negotiate loans OF from III 900 to 81 O,OOO
ou Improved uniDcumbered farms at from one
fourth TO one third nf their actual value.
- : -. - CHAFFIN. STAPLES K CO.,
|, ,y "A oodet Real Estate Agents, &c.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
~ l4-eOdG

.DAVENPORT & CO..,
~ STOCK BROKERS.
OFFICE, l. ID MAIN STREET.
a. will buy and sell on commission
VIRGINIA NEW 1910 BONDS,
virginia CONSOLS and :. PEELERS," -.- e
VIRGINIA TAX COUPONS.
RiGIM0ND 6 PER CENT. and PER CENT.
LYHCHBURG, PETERSBURG. and other CITY
RAiLRoAD and CANAL BONDS.
BANK and INSURANCE STOCKS, and other
! BONDS and STOCKS. ~,
yIRGINJA RONDS jy 7-1m
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
DICHMOND BAZAAR,
II Nos, 1888 AND 1440 FRANKLIN STREET.
ru,p1FEN HORSES AND MARES AT AUG
.e.-s. TON,

THIS DAY, a. 10 o'clock. we will sell as above
all invoice Of .rn,,.prs
Amongst them may be found some as eood STOCK
as can lie selected for light or heavy-drauRht pur
poses. .reo SEER.
i LIGHT SPRING TOP-WAGON AND HAIR
! SECONDHAND OPEN.gUGGY.
| Welt E. B: COOK, Salesman.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
By RschardsQn-& Co... /,
Real Estate AGENTS and Aucaloneers,
lib Main street.,

rOlrR DESIRABLE SMALL DWELL.
4 ISGs AND LOTS ON TWENTY-FQgRppHH
S,IIcTTnN ~ nv renuest of.the owner we Will sell By
suction. on The premises. on "WEDNESDAY me
IGih July. s7s, al O'Clock 2; ~, tOUh sha atad
ne shove. confaping three rooms each. ana iot lZo
hyI bfesf, With wide alley In the rear. TINS pro
perty viii be sold whole or divided 10 SUI puf-
Terms: One fourth cash: balance by NEGOTIABLE .,
moi es a six, twelve. and eighteen mentis. win IN
property. h'CnA N1'lL' anctioneers.
e.,o oo,ducted nv n. M,LEF jy14
CHERIFF'S SALE.-WILL BE SOLD
- AT THE SHERIFE'sOFFICE.o oyer 1907 Main
street. on the 10TH DAf OF doLf' iofs' d.
eci0oA a. i,i 900 GRAIN BAGS, :.
U,H1a az JOHN w. WRIGHT, s. c. Z.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16

ALLAN LINE OF ROYAL -sssFS
"A MAIL STEAMSHIPS FOR EU-ISzAs4asssss..ses
ROPE, sailing from Baltimore. Md, every AL
TERNATE WEDNESDAY for Liverpool rig
Queenstown. superb cabin ACCOMMODATION. Rates
diatc, $40. Also, WEEKLY NAIL SERVICE be-
tween Quebec, Canada and Liverpool rin London
derry-ihe shortest possible sea route. Steamships
with excellent passenger accommodation Sli
from Quebec EVERY SATURDAY. This route
offers 1000 miles OF inland navigation and the
charming scenery Of the Cuff of st. Lawrence. AMI
cross the ocean In Eve days. Cabin tickets Include
rail fare TO Quebec. A. ". CARRIER. Agent. SEQ
Main street. >LEVE { ALDEN. General Passenger
Agents 27l Broadway. New York. j. 3-e0d
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
wa0O AND COAL

GOAL. COAL, COAu.v-I ghaNes just re-
~ ce!vcd supply Of ANTHRACITE COAL, Ct
customers and the publ, generally for their wiz
ter's fuel. NIULOTEfIAN-.. WEST VIRGINIA
SPLINT. and any other fuel the market furnishes :;
aud am selling AZ very low prices. Give me q call.
Also. STEAM and GAS-COALS. 80 -. r. !.
jy l5-1m ... ... ALBERT BLAIR.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16

#i - OFFICE RICHMOND RAILWAY COMPANY. g
ON AND AFTER JULY 8, 1879, "A
SJLINE OF OMNTBUSEs Will be run In connec-
ton with our cars from the western terminus to
HOLLYWOOD, with no additional charge TO the usual
ear fare. e. L. WALKER, Z.
~ 2.1m superintendent.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16

NOAL AND W0OD.-On hand and con.
~ SANITY arriving. full stock of all kinds
FUEL. ANTHRACITE COAL. all sizes; LUMP
SPLINT. CLOVER. HILL, SOFT COKE: and all
kinds Of ENGINE COAL. OAK and PINE WOOD;
long or sawed. Pine and Oak long at $3.50 and
81 per cord, delivered free. Orders promptly filled
at either yard-l905 Cary street or 70S Broad
street. ie oil G. n. PAGE.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
BY Richardson & Co..
Real Estate Agents and Aucti0neers,
- Liz sr.ln street

TRUSTEES SALE OF 'rWo yALUA-
i ELE BUILDING LOTS, WITH \ Sal.ALL
ERAME pWt nt THTEEoXrip 81 TIE hn
TWEEN N AND o STREETS, CHURCH
Mill; BY AUCTloS-A,s trustee, in 9, Ger GG
cenber. 1875. ;from!G. NJ. Flick, duly re-
corded in the Chanccry Court of the city OF Rich
lnond, being required so ~ do by the beneficiary
therein seelredI shall sell by auctqn on Tue prem:
tses, On MONDAY the 2lSt day of July, Is ~, at y
O'Clock T. 81, the REAL ESTAT described in said
deed, consisting 0: TWO LOTS, 331l30 feet cacn;
wit q SMALL FRAME DWELLING thereon, and
an alley IN, the rear. the west Side OF Thiriieth
street between y and D streets. Church Hill. -.
TERMS: One third cash; The residue IN fcur and
ell, hi months: negotiable notes given. for the dc,
ferred payments. With interest ADDED, aud secured
- j. A. RICHARDSON, Trustee.
The aforementioned property was sold under
the provisions Of I'D deed on The 27h day OF july
1876, but The purchaser thereof not having CON.
piled with the terms OF SAID sale, said real estate
win be resod. as advertised above at the cost ana
expense Of said purchaser, >. 49,
; i; g.. - j. 4. RICHARDSoN, Trustee.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
PROPOSALS..

OFFICE OF CITY ESGINEER,l
RICHMOND. VA, July Ii, 1870.
NOTICE TO CONTRACTORS. g..,
SEALED PROPOSALS will be received at this
office until THURSDAY NEXT, 18th INSTANT,
ut 6 O'Clock Z. NJ for
REPAIRS TO CITY JAIL. AND FOR BUILD
ING AN ADDITION TO THE SHED BUILDING.
The Committee on Grounds and Buildings re-
serves the right reject any all proposals offered
Plans and specifications can be seen by applying
al this office. S. EDWARD BATES,
~ l4-td Acting City Engineer.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
nspAHTUaE SE syEAmERs.

DSE AES. a ~ :, e-La c "a
TOR NEW YORK.-The Old ~Fes
Ns5sansG cInsin E1rc Nh ss
FRIDAY, July 18th, 81 O'Clock j. VI. 90 r
Freight received until 9 O'Clock P. NJ,
Through bills OF ladng signed and goods for
arded With dispatch to all points north SOUTH cast
and west; also, to foreign, ports.
Passenger s %nr nnS1TpadSssd Tickets
$24. Steerage, $6 and -.
For freight or P e. ~ x ipRREzS 70 co. Agents.
Jy1s.3t Companys Wharf. Rockets.
VIRGINIA sTEAMBoATes .tI7,isSNQss.t
CoMPASY's
JAMES-RIVER LINE,
FOR
OLD POINT,
NORFOLK, PORTSMOUTH.
AND
ALL REG uLAE LANDINGS on JAMES RIVER
CONNECTING AT
NORFOLK WITH THE BAILINE.
FOR BALTIMORE. PHILADELPHIA, NEW
YORK, AND BOSTON.
The FAST and elegant steamer AEITL, Captain
T. G.. CLIFFORD carrying the United States nail,
leaves Richmond for ah0ve-naiHed places every
TUESDiT, THURSDAY. aud SATURDAY, at
Fare 10 old Point Norfolk or Portsmouth. 3 so
Fare Tor round trip, u:,llmiled. 90
Eare 70 Baltimore. Observation-Disclosures. 90
Fare to Thiladclphia.... %
Fare 10 New York;. v 81,
TO Boston IL w
Through tickets sold at Garber's S26 Main street
Eychanee Hotel. AID On board steamer. Baggage
checked through.
EXCURSION SEASON OPENED.
The steamer Ariel" Is now ready for engage
mcntS for Day and Moonlight EXcurs lions Il
LOWER RATES than have ever been offered before
Freight received daily Tor Norfolk, Pers$tnonthi
landings on Tar river: Washington. ID. C., llamp.
ton, and Eastern Shore Of Virginia, ana regular
landings on james river, at lowest rates.
The steamer ARIEL has lately been almost en-.
tirey rebuilt and refurnshed in an elegant ant
costly manner, and IS confidently recommended Il:
tho Fastest and most comfortable steamer that bas
run on this route for maIy years.
=, L. u. TATCM. Sanern' endcnt,
100 Main street and Rockets.
j. ". ACCARRICK. Agent. Norfolk Sc 4
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16

Receiving a supply from recent importation, ana
! " IO.i0t Dock street,
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16

a connects FOR MiIf0'l. y. e,
Il connects for Ashey!lIr and all poiGtS 81 "'stc!G
North Carolina daily. except Sunday. ,,.
:. Cconnects:for Macon and al point. In Southwest
Georgia. ... -
connects for Jacksonville and aIl points IN F!o-
Econnec,s for Macon and all points N Son,hwes,
:" Connects conn for Selma Meridian Jackson. a@t
G connects for Galveston and al Texas points.
Trains from tas n5J lnI tiJ p 81
The rain ARRIVING a, Richmond al G;3o y. IT.
makes close CONNECTION Win 'ii lFslhia S't'i''N
CompauyS s;ea .iric for Old !'uint aui N.i'"'A
leaving Richmond at 7:l5 \. NJ. Tuesday, Thur
DAYS. and saturdays. " ,,,
Pullman Palace Drawiug-room aua >icc:in: ar;
run through OF Train No. 4S from New t"I" t'''
Ricinlon 10 Atlanta. and from tirrcust.:" :. ~
guSta aud on Train No ~ from >sw Iorka':' ''it"-
moud 10 Greensboro. ,
Tickets sold 10 all points South. soN:tt'-''' ''''
southwest. aui baggage checked through.
Freight Train No. 9. leaving Eichmoniat D - ~
NJ and No 10. arrvinS In Richmond Al 80 \. ~,
will have accommodations for a IL" atcnu''.N'
passengers who must purchase tttsIs DSi"dt
ling on the train No passengers VIII lie allowed
other freight trains.
NO i"s-''sf ''seA' JOHN r. MACMuEp".
General Passenger A"""-
7. NJ. Il. TALCoTr. General super Eitndri'.
RICHMOND, rKrpG e POTOMAC X. X. co"l
OFFICE GENERAL lcSET AGENr, {
KIcHaoSD. VA, AprIl %. is'.'.
COMMENCING SUNDAY, MAl !, 1e'''
~ trains on this road Will run As follows:
NORTH BOUND.
No, 1900 A, NJ, leaves Byr.-S.rre! station na:y
- =. {excep; sunday ,; que az We, W NSn
inv,nt I:iu T.. ~: I'lmnrr,
3.O5 T. III; rn,Iaiviph!A o:3o
.s...# .....r" ~ Erw Iork. 1000 L. VI.
Va a-6.oo p NJ ie."r. E,ri-Street station ,iIity
~ wv '' du. a. Warrington. go J.: VI.
E,I,irnrre 1855 Z. NJ; PhiIt-
| ,isipbia. 3:35 a. NJ; Ne" YORK
| 81 6:45 \. u. ,rS
| No 7-a.OO p NJ, ACCOMMODATES - i
| 4'o' for Junction. leaves hfeaH-
l. street s,,!.oH daily leicer' acn-
days..
SOUTH BOUND.
1o,,pN arrives 4. Hyrd-Strcet station
NJ. '' Ssi,y except Sundays. Leaves
Nav York. $40 A. W.: thia"
/ delphia. lt:45 ~ NJ; i'.si,
more, $3.50 Z. VI. ); Washington
$40 Z. 81
VA ll.35 4. NJ, arrives q, Byrl-S'reet s;s!l 0h
wv daily Leaves New YORK., HWY
r NJ: philaIelpha, l:io
| ". Nj: baltimore. i:35 \. NJ.
| Washington. $50 \. NJ.
~, 9 Gao j. VI ACCOMIuDArlGS TRAN,
| No'o arrives at Brosd.S,rGe. st2IeA
| daily, te xcept Sundsysl.
c, j. TAYLOR,
| General Ticket aseat
vrsD uxrps GeparaI urerlRts adent ap ~
l
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16
Every honeymoon has a man in it
WANTS.

!" ANTED, A NURSE for two small
W children. Must come well recommended.
Apply at OH Marshall street, uear Tenth.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16

Sale by FRANK ID. HILL & CO., AuctioneeIs.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1879-07-16

WANTED, TO SELL VERY CHEAP,
" RIDING and OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
young, sound. fast, and very gentle: and a ycoi
SECONDHAND TOP-8UGGY-the owner not
needing them. Apply at once at sos east Main
street. sssai 90 Ea'-@ s.s ss Nv 1927
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-10-04
Explaining n Joke.
H,ondon Adyertiser.1

He came into the office modestly and
shyly, as was befitting, and asked to see
the man whe put jokes in the Advertiser.
The joker was engaged in reading some
very exciting tables Of trade and naviga-
ton returns, in order to inform "An Old
Subscriber how many gallons of bees
wax had been exported from the Prov
ince of Prince Edwards Island in the
year 1871, and was consequently in a
very hilarious mood. The visitor took
off his hat, mopped his manly brow with
dirty handkerchief and placed before
the newspaper man a scrap of paper on
which was written: ...
"When Sir Joseph Porter dies the COM
pany will be treated to half-and-half-
Porter and bier"
The newspaper man read it, looked
up and exclaimed, "What is it about?"
at is just little joke, you see."
"Ah, l didn't notice. l will read ii
again."
He reperused, and then asked,
"Where is the joker"
"Why, the play on words--a pun, you
know-Porter and bier"
"Oh, ah, yes. Porter and bier. Well,
did you ask Mr.. Porter about this? Will
he be pleased to see his name in the pa
per in that connectionW ...
"Why, there is no such person. Sir Jo-
seph Porter is a character in 'Pinafore.' ,"
"Well," mused the newspaper man, ''if
| there is no such person don't see how
he can die. A person who don't exist
can't die very successfully. Amy attempt
to kill a man who don't live must neces-
sarily prove failure"
"But you don't understand" explained
the amateur Joker. "You see the whole
point is in the play on the two words
! porter and bier. Porter and beer mixed
is called half-and-half Now you catch
the idea, don't you?
"Well ] understand it so far. But
where's the joker
"Why, | explained"
"Yes, know that you explained. You
said porter and beer mixed is called half
and-half. But that kind of porter is moi
a man-it is liquor, and anyhow, you
don't spell beer right"
''But that's the point. You notice
there the words have different meanings
and the same sound. IL is to bring out
different idea than the word itself con.
veys that l have tried, and hatter my
self"
"No, no." interrupted the newspaper
man, mot flatter. Your grammar is al
fault. The joke is fat, not hatter."
AT this point some of the people in the
sanctum interfered, and the enemy beat
graceful retreat without any casualties
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1879-10-04
A Gracious Thought About Women OF
Twenty-Five Years.

The man who meets and loves the wo-
man of twenty-five is truly fortunate,
and she is equally fortunate in meeting
and loving him, says writer in femin-
inc journal. At that age she seldom de-
ceives herself and is seldom deceived.
She may not have, she is not likely to
have then, her first sentimental expert
ence; but such experience at such an age
is more than sentimental and rarely ever
heeting. She looks back at the youths
she imagined she was enamored of be-
tween 16 or IS, Or even %, and they are
worse than Indifferent or repellant to her
they are ridiculous; and in some
sort she, as she then was, is ridiculous to
herself. She cannot but think what she
escaped; she cannot but be grateful to
her destiny that hersympathies and affec-
tions have been reserved for worthy OBJ
ject and higher end. At twenty-five, if
ever, a woman knows and estimates her
self. She is less liable to emotional OF
mental mistakes; she is far surer of hel
future, because she feels that her fate is
to certain extent, within her own hands
Not only is she lovelier and more Iowa.
BILE, broader ard stronger than she has
been, but her welded happiness and pow
ers of endurance are in manner guar
anteed.