The Newtown bee., 1879-09-03
A LUCKY DIE.

What tAe deuce ails me? Where am 1, anyhowP Wherever I am, springs q. d mattresses must be scarce, for I kn ow l am laid on some mighty hard su bstance. Wonder if it is on dis secting board? Wonder if I'm dead? feel mighty like it. Maybe I am st retched out ready for the doctors to carve me-"
 These were my first thoughts, very cheering, indeed, as 1 became conscious l could neither speak nor move; but soon learned that l could hear.
 A door opened, footsteps approached, felt cloth removed from my face, and a voice, which l recognized as that of my intended fathcr-in-law, said:
 He hasn't changed much" and his companion, whose voice 1 recognized as SOwerby's, the undertaken, said lightly There just where you are mistaken, MT. Mullins; he looks a great deal better dead than alive; but how does Priscilla feel about it? Take on much, eh?" vw" Oh, mo; just enough to appear well'' said the father of my af1ianced, with 9 chuckle. !" She never cared much for Smith; twas his stamps that she fancied. My Priscilla is practical girl and went in for his dimes, his carriage and greys, although at the same time I must own she was spooney on bald pated Howard, the artist; but he's poor r4s Jobs turkey, as the saying is,"
 r'Well she can have him now for all this poor cuss, can't she?" said Sow eTby, beating tattoo with his digits on my chest.
 l presume so; but she will wait till SAe year is up, for fear of gossip, you know"
 But who gets his money, seeing the poor Cuss has no relationspn queried the undertaken.
 "Oh, that's all right. You see my Priscilla is a sensible girl. Before she promised to marry him she had hin make his will in her favor. Poor Smitl was rather sappy, you knowi had moth. ing against him, however, although hC was decidedly homely, and such a barn. door of a mouth, always open"
 Well" said the cheerful voice of tho undertaken, "his mouth is tight enougl now, I reckon he'll never open it in thi world again. l reckon his immortal par is now with the angels"
 And my mortal part is also with tn, angels, thought Ia fine pair of angels felt indignant at their clumsy ridicule tried to shut my fist, but never a shu was to it. could do nothing but listen He then began to measure me for m, coffin. 1 had heald that undertake CT
 
 urs. I believed it to be only joke ol the craft; but Sowerby actually strucl up the air Pull Down the Blinds" in subdued, thrilling whistle, while h measured me. .,.-r.. ss-r-r. v,--..
 "A hobby casket and one hundre, hacks, eh, MT. Mufinsp Must make bi thing of it. The cuss left lots of money and remember he was to be your Pris cilla's husband. Must make splurgt Mir. Muffins, said the worthy undertaken with an eye to his own pocket.
 Well, I don't mind if the coffin is little looking; but one hundre hacks The deuce! Just send one c two for the mourners, and the rest wh come to attend the funeral can furnis their own rigs or hoof it, whichevt suits them.n
 They covered my face again and le me to my own reflections. had ofte heard it remarked that meditation WE good for the soul, and this was the be. chance ever had of trying it.. w R@ An hour must have passed, and tl door was again opened, and two persor came whispering along to where la. and the voice of my promised wife fe on my ear. &3 @%SE EM@