The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1879-04-03
PEH AND poMT.

MAIx 9 soa ok tod Is worth nany .
HAI5 Loaf is better than Loaf al
the time.
EVERY tramp d In favor Of the ate
hour law.
The only people who really enjoy bad
health are the doctors.
WHAT is every one doing at the sam
timer Growing older.
Nor an author, and yet Fighter Of
books-The expert accountant.
DID you ever hear a hogshead speak?
If 50, what was it the hogshead?
VENICE Is overrun with blind men,
although she Is mistress Of the sea.
IF woman were to change her sex
why could she no logger be Chris
tian? Because she would be
he(a)then.
HOOP, in describing the meeting Of q
man and lion, said: "The man ran
off with all his might, and the lion with
all his NAME"
A ROMANTIC young man says that
young woman's heart is like the moon
it changes continually, but always has
q man in it.
IT was little Scotch girl of years
who, upon being asked whether she
would marry or remain single, said:
Neither; shall be widow"
BY the way, when Eve presented her
husband with Cain, did the local pa
per print an account of the affair and
head it: Another Man Cained?"
SAID a philosopher: "I don't like
man who is intimate on short acquaint-
ance, because he is almost sure to be
short on intimate acquaintance"
The plumber came down like wolf on the fold.
His pockets we're laden with solder and gold;
And for four mortal hours he msde love to the
And seventeen dollars were charged up In his book
--Hhes1n1 Leader.
A HEALTHY bridegroom, ar army mus.
ket and an ounce of birdshot, all work
ing harmoniously together, will dis
charge serenade quicker than thun-
der shower.
ABOUT this time Prince Bismarck steps
around to his tailor and remarks: "Say,
Schneider, Just put copper lining to
dem goats and bants, viii you? I dinks
We have anoder Zocialistic schutzenfest
| DURING the recent cold weather it is
said that Wilhelmj was compelled to saw
the ] off the end of his name and wrap
it up in hot fannels. It is feared, even
now, that the frost has undermined its
Observation-Disclosures Constitution.
TIE school is still; hand is raised
May go out, please. sirs"
And. tween his handkerchief and nose
Do ruddy stains appear
"why certainly" the master says;
| The urchin straightway goes;
he takes his cap from of Its peg,
The cranberry from his nose.
SMYTHE it's cold as barn
here, and I'm almost frozen to death. /
never did know you to have fire when
| you should have" Mrs. s. (meeklye
well, Henry, if you should be frozen
| to death you would soon thaw out,
| dear!"-Bosto,a Transcript.
DRIED apples and cord-wood are not
taken at par for subscriptions by the
Watsonville {Cal) Transcript, which
| adopts as it's motto:
| We do not belong to our patrons;
| Our paper is wholly our own,
| Whoever may like 1t may take 1t,
! Who don't may just let IL alona.
woMAN's "No."
| onoi could not wed you, no;
But hope you won't forget
| love you sister should--
please, Will, don't go yet
Yes, love you as a sister should
| But marry yous All. mol
I'm grieved you should have thought Of It
| Oh, Will Don't leave me SO.
Come back. sit down and talk to me.
| Dontl Don't frown when you go.
| One cannot love Just when she would
Though she's a girl, you know.
And don't think you love me much,
! don't, upon my life;
! But, really thought you did
Yes, Will; I'll be yourwife