The New York herald., 1879-09-28
CHAT BY THE WAY.

make him your friend.
Ayoung Irishman. whose remittances from home
had been stopped very urgent letters telling
OF his Distress and promising to reform if the re-
mittances were continued. When he failed to get
what he wanted he resored to stratagem. and wrote
sad letter to his father. telling him that he was
dead and wanted money fo,sthe funeral expenses.
gentleman, prompted by curiosity, lately went
into the empty store OF merchant. and looking
about inquired, "And pray. sir, what do you sell
here?" The shopkeeper thinking to be very witty.
replied iaconically. "Asses heads. sir" The
stranger. turning to go. added. "Yes. yes. my
friend, see now. and see also that You have only
one left"
1t may be that the man who said he had no reli-
gon TO talk about uttered tremendous sarcasm
against that class of pietists who 60 about telling
what vast quantity of religion they have; and
Boosting of the beatihc state of perfection which
they have arrived. These words. however. express
pretty nearly the literal and exact condition of
men. You can't get the sad fact that the aver
age North American boy actually gets solid fun
from fishing on Sunday afternoon than from going
to Sunday school, He tires OF serious subjects and
even when he becomes man he has deep SYM
pathy for the little fellow who sad YEARLY. Come.
father. let's drop heaven and talk circus"
1t is the habit of the French juryman to bring
tenuating circumstances to the notice of the judge.
Hardly case is brought up in which he fails to
find some reason why the Court should exercise its
clemency. This popularity reminds Of the re-
markable verdict of an English jury some years
ago. Cornish miner accused of making away
with his wife. The evidence was overwhelming.
and the only rebutting testimony of strong
proof that the wife not all she should be- that
she was quarrelsome and given to various other bad
habits which do not help to make up happy home.
The jury listened to this part of the evidence with
great interest and in their verdict showed that it
had exercised an almost controlling influences When
the question asked "Do you find the prisoner
guilty not guilty" the foreman replied, Guilty
My Lord. but 1t served the woman right" The
Judge tried to explain that such a verdict was very
embarrassing. but the rough jurymen who perhaps
had wives Of their who in while in iuiged
in the Of forbidden words and missiles, insisted
that they had expressed their true conviction and
that the Court must make the most Of it and be
satisfied.
II you are fishing for good reputation you had
better bait your hook with good deeds.
If you want to know the profoundest misery
q misery to which seasickness Is unspeakable
bliss-start out journey through Europe
with Saratoga trunks and little book
tanning the conversation phrases of all the CONT
mental languages. At the end Of three short but
eventful months you will become Of the wsest
and saddest of the human You will despise
yourself for not having been born in every country
on Il globe at the same time. that you might have
fluent command Of oil the strongest adjectives in
every living language To stand in the presence Of
customs officer. surrounded by your seven trunks
and your seventeen packages. and going through
tragic pantomime. in order to show him that you
have contraband articles, knowing that the next
train starts in tan minutes, and then discovering
that Of the party who has gone to get something
to eat and to make himself comfortable, has
taken the keys with him-all this makes you glad
that human life does not average more than forty
years. You sigh for dictionary that has u choice
collection Of explctives and long for the presence of
genuine American baggage smasher who has just
started on the warpath.
All through Germany the anniversary of the sur
render ut Sedan celebrated by fireworks. iumi-
nations and the inevitable GRAFTON. In connection
with this event is story which sounds like
than real history. When the great Napoleon
the only Napoleon in fact, was rushing through
Europe at the head of his victorious army made
drunk by repeated successes, Louisa. Queen OF
Prussia. who compelled to fly from castle
to castle. determined to seek interview with the
resstless General. When she entered the room
with her children, hoping that their guileess faces
would touch the royal heart. she was 80 exhausted
that she sank into char. Napoleon. addressing
you aware that you in the presence of the EN-
peror?' She at rose and standing before the
parvenu with the dignity which the recollection
that her family had been famous for hundreds of
years. replied. ''Sir. supposed that IN the
presence of gentleman" Even the tiny child felt
the insult for he flushed with anger and doubled
his little fst. What wonder that he never
forgot the wrong done to his mother, and
that when he became o and felt the
pressure Of the crown he sought for opportu-
nifty to avenge it? The Emperor reached the height
Of his towering ambition and then fell into the
abyss of St. Helena. At last his nephew-a shadow.
with great mans name attached-seized the
throne of France. At Sedan that nephew-all there
was left of the Napoleon who had insulted Louisa-
delivered up his sword in disgraceful defeat to the
Emperor William who a boy had clenched his
fist and vowed revenge. And now you In
Berlin magnificent monument dedicated to the
memory of Louisa and built with money which, the
French people were compelled to pay. History sell
dom presents picture complete in all its details
as this one.
1t is all very well for to boast of his family
and hold himself aoof because his grandfather was
up in the world but 1t is better to be reasonably
modest about it. because some may possibly re-
member that it q rope which held him up.
II you don't want people to criticise you for your
faults the best way to accomplish your purpose is
to substitute for them. An old English lady
noticed that cask of very poor beer. which had
stored in her cellar disappearing very rapidly
Suspecting the cause. she summoned her butler.
and pretending to take him into her confidence
said. John. how do you think can keep that cask
of beer from the ravages Of tho oervants? He
evidently philosopher of no mean gifts. for he In
stanty replied "My lady. you will put barrel of
good ale tho cellar think the servants will keep
away from the beer.''
The weather in certain parts Of Europe has been
exceedingly rnpropitious this summer. Hotel keep
ers have been on the verge OF lunacy and tourists
have patronizcd umbrella makers more than ever
before One is reminded OF the lines that were
scratched the window pane of Scottish inn:-
Scotlandl thy weather's like moodish wife.
Thy winds and rains forever ut strife;
so termagant awhile her thunder tries,