The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1879-05-02
PHUNNYGRAPHS.
A new train sweeps clean.
The human font in v-tOed

Lamps will be trimmed as usual
this year.
Murder, like the knees of a boys
pants, will ont.
The man who has a fellow feeling
The blind man.
The most diminutive mustache Is
always twisted most.
The plow is belived to be the old.
est land mark.
Did a donkey ever die of soften.
ing of the brayingf
The humming.bird lives of per.
fume SO does the druggist.
The man with a diamond stud
never wears a shirt-cover scarf.
How to draw a tooth without
pain-Draw it on paper with pen.
Gil.
The fellow who rang the church
bell for a false alarm of fire tolled a
lie.
A pleasant smile is the sign of
friendship, but trying to borrow
% is the test.
The man who dreamt he dwe1t
in marble halls woke up to find
that the bedelothes had tumbled
off.
The vulgar word "hash" 10 not
heard in Boston. That article is
alluded to as culinary symposium.
The man that sighed for the
wings of dove probably did not
know that the legs were much bet.
ter eating.
The misfortune of one Ia the for
tune OF another. When a man
breaks his legs it's good thing
for the doctor.
Never award the palm of virtue
on appearance. The women who
keeps her mouth shut may have bad
teeth.
The sign over wayside inn on
the Jersey flats is, "Mosquito Tav-
ern." That's where travellers stop
and get bite.
What makes most women wild
is to wait tor the pOstman halt an
hour, and then see him walk by in
differently.
The lady who is so good that size
won't eat pie or go to the theatre
in Lent, will still criticise her neigh
boris bonnet.
A friend of ours has a moon-eyed
horse that will Jump into his neigh
boris fields. He has doubled him
a "moon-eyed leper."
The daintiest and most spirituelle
lady at a tea party will sit on the
hind legs of her chair and eat
pickles when at home.
A new style of stocking is called
the Voltaire. Sock-rates would
have been a better name, as we
never did admire stocking with
tair at the end of it. -.
"Well, Pat, you didn't come to
the three o'clock train to get me as
| told you ?" "Oh, indade oi did,
sir; but OF got there too late for
that train, and SO oi waited for the
next onew y
The first bird of Spring attempted to sing;
But, ere he had sounded a note,
He.fell from the limb, dead bird was him
The music had friz in his throat. . ...
Nature may not have intended
nan to drink water. 1t looks that
way from the fact that she will
reeze up the water pipes on the
slightest occasion, and never med
lie with IA barrel of whiskey when
'he can help it.
"What shall the Painting of the
Future be 7" is the all-engrOssing
question nowadays. We are not
It all particular, as long as she
losn't rest her cheek upon our
houlder. We don't want our best
'oat all busted with ''lily-white.n
"IVhat a rough fellow that Snig.
,ins is p petulantly exclaimed the
Iopedale girl, after struggle with
he aforesaid Sniggins at ''Copen-
lagen" che nearly smothered me n
'And did you kiss him for his
motheri" asked the Aher miss,
laively.
A young man of Tentonic paren-
age got a marriage-license at the
.ourt- house a few days since, and
emarked, as he turned to go; "By
shorge this is the handiest court
louse in the guntry. You gifts
our marriage-licence in dis room,
nd den you can shtep right into
e shudge's room nnd get married,
nd den you can yoost go right up
tairs in the circuit court und get
divorce"
A certain young man came into
country town to sell some turkeys;
e sold them to "a tavern-keeper,
nd left his knife in the yard where
e had cut them loose, being tied
ith strings. To regain his knife
. wrote the following note to the
tavern keeper and sent it
Y his father: Please, Mr..
ok an empire an Gee iff yor sar-
ants tond array mite a buck horne
Indle an "a bail blade. Please
nd it to Jeemrs A. Lee by David
. Lee. Thare / had it a cutting
le turkeys loose