The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1879-01-08

A rAsr-TIME-''My Grandfatser's Clock
Graphic.
THE best cipher dispatch was: "Gold Ioe- -
Troy On. W Budget.
THE man with the ulster is vindicated.-
Cincinnati Commercial.
How to draw girl out-seat her upon a sled,
seize the end of the rope and scoot.
1.-THE worst aches will heal."-Confucius.
The best heels will ache.-O' Leary.-Grsfhi c.
GAMES of chance would not be so awful
naughty in a man could win every time
Whitehall Times.
If Eli Perkins should repeat the ten COM
rnandments nobody would believe a word he
was saying-New Haven Register.
THE ST. Louis Republican asks, "Was Adam
Slack?" Plat fellow was thinking about
@Dusky Eve."-Keokuk Constitution.
THE Hawkeye says If there were any truth
in the theory of transmigration, when q boy
died he would go into an Interrogation point.
MANY a man who prays not to be led into
temptation would be awfully disappointed if
his prayer was granted.-Keokuk Copstitu-
ton.
If the characters of all our young men stood
as high asst heir shirt collars the community
would present better aspect than it does.-
Syracuse Times.
WE have seen a portrait of the Amer of
Afghanistsn. He parts his hair on the iso-
thermal lire. This is enough; let the war pro-
ceed.-Mobile Register.
SINCE nobody has come forward to claim
the authorship of Beautiful Snow" We call
upon Myra Clarke Gaines TO lay her mortgage
on it.-New York Herald.
WITHOUT doubt the Ingersolls of the early
ages denounced the Book of Daniel as unca-
nonical and uninspired, an advance puff of
Darius circus and menagerie.-New York
World.
THE canard about the drowning OF IS chill
dren in France was not so bad for an effete
foreigner. Brace up, Ell. Shake yourself to-
gether and wake to ecstasy the living lyre.-
Cincinnati Commercial.
CALEB asked US for our definition of "nean-
time.n Well Caleb, we think mean time is
the time to get cut of bed these cold winter
mornings. If you not satisfied with this,
write again.-Unknown Exchange
AMERICA is exporting lager to Germany.
After that almost anything may be expected.
Does the gentleman who presides over the
place which Bob Ingersoll says doesn't exist
want to buy some birthstone p Buffalo Ex-
press.
THE New York Herald heads an article
"How Hatters are Poisoned" But who wants
to poison a halter? 1t is the shoemaker who
promises to have your boots done on Saturday
night, and disappoints you three times, that
you want to kill.
AN exchange out West is blowing about a
man who can heal the sick by the laying on of
hands. That's nothing. We have men. right
at home who can raise the dead, although
they haven tyet completed the medical course.
l--Keokuk Constitution.
THERE is no use OF rising at four or five
o'clock with the hope of securing an early
breakfast-you can not have your meal before
it is S.-Albany Journal. Yet the old proverb
assumes that we can not have it after IL is 8,
SO what are We to do about it?-New York
Mail.
THE average SINAI, boys ambition is to be a
trapper, a pirate or song and dance map,
"When 1 wath a little boy" lisped very
stupid society man to young lady, ''alI my
ideath in life were thentered in being a
clown" "Well, there is at at least one case OF
! gratified ambition" was the sharp reply.-St
Louis Spirit.
| IT doesn't always do to follow the advice OF
even eminent thinkers and teachers. A well.
read man happening TO be a prisoner between
two policemen, sought advice in what he had
read. "Ah," he thought, ''those who would be
| free, themselves must strike the blow" That
little information cost him s4S33.-Turners
Falls Reporter.
| A sYRACUsIAN who is nightly entertained
with the warmest kind of Caudle lectures
when asked by chance acquaintance what
his business was, said he kept a hot bed
Syracuse sunday Times. @dR
! A LONDON physician says that smoking
cigars causes various disorders OF the circula.
ton and indigestion. palpitation of the heart
bleeding of the nose and liberation of the
mucous membrane of the mouth. This is bad
enough: but if the English doctor had exam
ined a little more closely into the effect. the
habit OF smoking had upon the constitution
he would have discovered that 1t also leads tc
bank defalcations. ossification of the heart, q
disposition to run for congress, body snatch
Ing, hay fever, highway robbery. strabismus
/ bunions and croquet.-Norristown Herald.