The Osceola times., 1879-11-22
NUMBER 20.
CREAM OF THE NAILS.
Nuggets of wit and Wisdom From Our
Exchanges.
FAMINE IN HUNGARY.

FAMINE IN HUNGARY.
SO there's famine in Hungary.
When men are famished they are-that
is TO say, when a whole nation is hung
'ry, they're apt to be-or rather. P.S.-
We withdraw this paragraph for repairs.
Popular Science Monthly.
FANNY TO THE REAR.
Fanny Davenport, in the opinion of
the Chicago Times. Is rapidly falling TO
the rear of such hard-working actresses
as Clara Morris and Mary Anderson, be-
cause she hasn't had manager shot or
her backbone soldered lately.
THE LANGUAGE OF THE NOSE.
Lightly striking II with the right FORE
fnger-I love you. Blowing it-Keep
away from me or I'll holler. Turning Il
up-I can't help it; it grew that way.
Wringing 1t with thumb and fnger-My
heart is broked, ad I'be god code ID by
ed.
SHE'S POOLING THEE.
The other day, at a Cincinnati we'd
ding, the organist occupied the time be-
fore the coming of the bride and groom
by playing various voluntaries, and Just
before they arrived at the church.door
he thoughtlessly struck up Trust her
not, she's fooling thee"
GRASDFATHER's CLOCK.
The author of "Grandfather's Clock"
is at last meeting his punishment. One
of his daughters, not able to stand the
tick any longer, stopped short before
clergyman with runaway young man,
promised never to 20 single any more,
and the old man nearly died.-LockpoT
Union.
THE DoUGH-PATED MAN.
An exchange says: 1T Is the dough-
pated man who wears yellow tie that
whistles in the street cars" We can't
say as We ever heerd a yellow tie whistle
in the street cars or anywhere else. Our
contemporary evidedtly alludes to some
mystic tie.-Erchange.
TILE TRUTH.
London Truth says that our ancestors
were satisfied with washing only their
hands anu their faces; that Louis XIV,
of France took only one bath in his life;
that Louis NH is not RI orded as hay-
ing ever taken any, and that Nine. de
Longueville. with her dirty clothes,
smelt sour.
THUMPED HEARTS.
One of our Boston preachers said,
Sunday afternoons: "The little good any
of us can do must be done with our
hearts humping against the hearts OF
our fcllow-men." And every young
woman in church looked ut every other
young woman and smiled approvingly.
-Boston Transcript
CHLoRoFoRMED.
Miss Miller, of Ferris, Texas, chloro-
formed her dogs and cloped with the
young man whom her father had for
hidden the premises. The probabilities
are that about year hence she will con-
clude that her life would have been less
miserable il she had chloroformed the
young man and eloped with the dogs
Go,ory.
crCUMBERs' HISTORY.
A London scientific journal says the
cucumber is known to have been cult
waited for more than three thousand
years-that ii was extensively grown In
ancient Egypt. Perhaps il was the Gu.
cumber and not the asp that Cleopatra
took to her bosom with fatal results We
always did doubt that snake story
No,risfoun Herald.
ROCKED IN THE CRADLE.
lie was new man in the big music
store. She was delicate blonde. She
entered, and, timidly approaching the
young man, said: "Have you Rocked
in the Cradle Of the Deep?" He an
swered, with slight blush and some
hesitation, gazing far away toward the
horizon, "Well, really couldn't say-l
must have been very young at the time
If | have. ."-Repisr.
ITS ALLOY.
A vender of cheap jewclry was knock
ed down by an Irishman the other night,
and at slce brought action against his
assailant. The defendant protest ed be-
fore court that the agent had called him
liar. The latter swore positively that
he used no offensive language. Upon
being asked TO give the agents exact
words, the Irishman said: "He tried TO
sell me an ould ring, yer honor, and !
tould him 1t was brass. He then turned
round to another man, and sez: Its
alloy" The defendant was discharged.
-ttica Observer.