The comet. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1877-1882, 1879-01-11
Gen. Resides.
BY BILL ARP.

! Thomps was right good scholar and al
amiable as pet lamb, but he had weak.
, ness for blunderin' along over proper names
and miscallin' EN-. The boys were always
on the lookout for fun when he recited his
history lesson, and had given him about
as many nick-names as he had made blum.
ders, calling him So-phokels, or Skippto
or Exer-exes or Ptolemy or the like. One
day he was studying aloud under the shade
of tree and had read along about Pericles
and Socrates and Aristides and Euripides
Alcibiades and all the other DIES, and les
until the jingle of it got chronic with him.
The next paragraph was continuation of
the history of Demosthenes and began
with, Besides, he was not only a great
orator but great general, and Thomps
read it, 'Besi DIES, supposing a new hero
had come to the front.
He and Sam Harris used to hear one an
other recite before they went to the school |
room, and when Thomps got to Besides
it tickled Harris almost to death. The
boys soon got hold of it and Thomps
took new name, but next day
Malcolm came back to school and
50 says Thomps Boys, yonder comes
Malcolm. He pretends to know everything
and is so conceited and stuck up he can
hardly live Now, do you all be quiet and
see if | don't sell him ,
When Malcolm came up and had shaken !
hands all around says Thomps "Mal- :
colin, we were disputing about ancient his :
tory, and the question is whether Beside
was Grecian orator or general You've y !
Just been over it and ought to know if any
body does" b
VI course Malcolm felt complimented.
and so with an air of conscious superiority, A
ne closed one eye, and looking up with the
other he said: ''Bes-iudes Besides
All, yes; | remember. es-ides-well, =
7es-Bes-i-des was a Grecian general r
Don't you remember he led the charge at II
he great battle of Pharsaia ?" g
Then the boys all yelled, and it was some 81
lme before Malcolm was able to see the 81
harp end of the joke. Of course the nick l.
lame was transferred, and from that time [
1alcolm was less airy and more reticent. II
Two years after he was studying law at al
'larksvllle, and there was little old dried RI
p Italian drummer up there who used to M
rum for the militia at general musters. "
lie claimed to be over a hundred years old -,
nd swore he drummed for Bonaparte at y,
he battle of Waterloo and any other great IL
attic you could mention. SO one big day We
uring the recess of court, the boys got ne
'und him to hear him beat the long roll -
I'd the short roll, and the charge and the fu
lickstep and the retreat from Moscow Oh
he upstairs piazza of the hotel was crowd Al
with ladies and big lawyers like Howell ge
'bb, and Tom Cobb, and Hillyer, and be
all, and Underwood, and Dougherty, and W
alcolm was down below, getting fun out III,
the old drummer for the benefit of the S u,
lies in general, and his sweetheart in par %
ular. era
He asked him if he didn't drum for Han. MAJ
pal and Scipio and Alexander and Joshua lin
this battle and that battle, and the little del
INNER declared he did and was quite ma
dy to tell wonderful incidents of the fell
tile. abl
Tom Cobb (afterward the Cen sor
! of blessed memory leaned over the mn
ling and in singing voice says "Mal- his
m, ask him if he didn't drum for Gen. ~,
sides at the battle of Pharsalia. 'i'e
POOR Malcolm-he thought the old joke !,
dead, but most everybody there had the
I'd it, and such shout You never heard Wol
pilted him, and it was a long time before prlC
forgave Cobb for taking such an advan- not
!, considering his peculiar surroundings. and