Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-08-31

WOOsA, vi OuC VI W ll1Cu WAS WrlIIcu, 'I-ldCt
the bug on this block and smash him
with the other"
Fat cook with conscious bushes, t.
the lady who wants to engage heD: Gas
to there bein' no followers allowed
mum, you might recollect, as you've
been single yourself; and girl as Is
rayther snowy in fgger can't we'll help
their comm about.
DIR. Keate, the master of Elton, used t.
enforce upon his scholars the duty OF
loving their enemies; he used to say
Boys, you must love your enemies; boys
it is rule of the school to love your
enemies; boys, if you don't love you,
enemies, I will fog you"
It was because Nelson attended to de-
tail in respect to time that he was SO
victorious. II owe," he said, "all
my success in life to having been
always a quarter of an hour before my
time" "Every moment lost said Ma.
poleon, ''gives an opportunity for mis-
fortune"
A ten-year old boy, Boosting of his IA
theirs accomplishments, put it thus: sMy
father can do almost anything: he's a
notary public, and he's an apothecary,
and can pull teeth; and he's horse doc
tor, and he can mend wagons and things,
and can play the fiddle; he's a jackass at
all trades" ..-
A little fellow, crying half the night
with the "legs ache," was much encour.
aged next morning by finding that his
head ached instead of his legs. ''The
pain is going up, and when it goes
through the top Of my head it will all be
gone, Of course" was his logical reason
ing. ....
"Fact u.s." said Smith, ~ intended to
return your book a month ago; but
Brown. saw it on my table, and he beg
ged so hard that 1 lent it to him. Just
as soon as he returns it, I'll bring it
home. II see," said Robinson, more in
sorrow than in anger, s'this is case of
bookkeeping by double entry.-Boston
Transcript.
They were playing croquet, and he
sent her ball flying to a remote part Of
the lawn. And on looking said it re-
minded him of a certain kind of music.
'Why?" inquired both players in chorus.
"Well, she hit your ball first, didn't she?
And then you nocturne, didn't you?"
Nobody even smiled. Looks of pity
were interchanged, and the game was
sadly resumed.
An English clergyman was 'turned
down" at a fashionable spelling-bee for
spelling drunkenness with one en-"
Shortly afterward he returned to his par
ish, and found himself very coldly re-
ceived by his parishioners. He sent for
the parish clerk and asked him what was
the cause: "Well, sir" replied the man,
"a report has come down here that you
was turned out of great lady's house in
London for drunkenness"
A Glasgow minister was recently called
in to see man who was very ill. After
finishing his visit, as he was leaving the
house he said to the mans wife: ssMy
good woman, do you not go to any
church at ala" Oh, yes, sir, we gang to
the Barony kirk" ''Then why in the
world did you send for me? Why didn't
you send for DR.. Macleod?" ma, ma,
deed no; we wadna risk HIM. Do We ken
it's dangerous case of typhus?"
A rather fashily-dressed young lady,
in company with her mother, was coming
out of church, and while walking down
the massive stone steps the old lady
slipped and went headlong to the side
walk. The daughter, horror-stricken, hid
her face in twenty five dollar handker-
chief, and instead of helping her mother
up, blurted out, 30, mother, such an
idea! How could you fall here? You
are perfectly awful I'm sorry came
out with your
This city boasts a young lady Of twenty
one 80 culchered that when, the other
day, sounds as of thousand consecutive
gates, with interludes as of the ripping
up OF clapboarded houses by tornadoes,
issued from the yard in the rear of her
paternal mansion, she said to the young
man who was sitting in the parlor with
her and opined that there had been a
terrible accident: 20, no; that is only
pa and my brother BOBBY having trunk
sharp recital in the woodshed."
There is some humor in Texas. The
other day man brought out a forlorn,
spawned looking steed, and addressed the
spectators thus: "Fellow citizens, this
is the famous horse, Dandy Jack. Look
at him. He is perfect. II he were sent
to the horse-maker, nothing could be done
for him. What shall I have for the
matchless steed?', "What will you take
tor him?" yelled the crowd. 1.-TWO hun
dred dollars" ''Give you S." "Take
him. never let $195 stand between me
and horse trade" That's business.
In the halt-parish of Ballintogether, in
Ireland, Catholic Bishop, who was hold
ing confirmation service, observed an
acknowledging lump of boy on his
knees in the ranks to be confirmed. Wish
ing to know if he had his catechism, the
Bishop asked: "Who created and
placed you on the world, my boy9"
big Paddy Mulloony, your honor"
The Bishop being little deaf, and think
ing that the boy had answered correctly,
asked further: "What did he create
you for?" can troth, sir, I never
ax'd him; but I think it was to mind
the cows"
The discovery of a natural soap mine
near Elko, Nevada, is fruitful topic of
discussion In Colorado This natural
soap seems to possess all the qualities of
the best CASTLE soap, and has for years
been used by the citizens of the country
surrounding the mine for washing pur-
poses, just as it comes out of the ground.
A similar mine in California is worked,
the soap from the mine manufactured in
large quantities. and is proving very
profitable. The owner of the Nevada
mine believes he has fortune in sight,
and there is very large probability that
he is correct IN his calculation.
The peril of employing highly educat-
ed young men as clerks was illustrated
the other day. A woman stopped at a
green grOcer'S on Woodward avenue and