The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1879-10-23
MULTUM IN PARvO.


MULTUM IN PARvO.
If you let man :. loan he will LET Won
alone, for long time.
The soft-shell crab considers his case
. hard one.-Boston Courier.
The man who gets the best of poker
playing is the man who does not play.
The pain of boil can be endured
when some other man gets it in the
neck.
In barber shop comb and brush
always play the leading parts.-Ulica
Observer.
'THIs world is but q fleeing show"
and it is the same way with u circus
N. 0. Pcayune.
IT is no sign because farmer is
growing sage that he is becoming
wise.-Boston Transcript.
No MATTER how much a candidate
itches for office, he never likes to be
acknowledgements Herald.
IT takes a whole Legislature to change
a mans name. A woman can change
hers by the act of a single man.
IT is getting chilly; it is time to light
the office fire. Now is the time to send
in poems on Autumn Journal.
THERE is a great difference in milk
maids. The milk made in the country
is not the same as the milk made in the
city.
MARTIN F. UPPER asks, "Where are
the pure, the noble and the meek?'
Don't know where they are in England {;
but in this country they are running for
office.-N. o. Picayume.
THERE is something passing strange
about human nature. If man had to
support his family by playing billiards
at two dollars day he d complain he had
to work awful hard for living.
THAT was an observing little fellow, if
he was but six years old, who said,
Pap, l wish you'd quarantine against
Tom Jones coming here every night to
see Jennie. It's got to be too cpl
dcmic."
A MILWAUKEE girl suffering from
lock jaw was left alone with a mouse by
the shrcwd physician, and she con-
trived to open her mouth enough to give
a yell that made the crockcry in the
china-clOsct rattle.--BOston Post.
On starting for the seashorc from
Lancaster, Pa, man was asked by q
friend to send back some fish. In few
days box weighing four hundred
pounds came by express, with charges
amounting to 1928, and containing a
shark nearly nine feet long.
A sKlNLEss grape, a scedless tomato,
a woolless peach, u corcless apple and
a rindless watermelon are. the needs of
the day. Until some agricultural
genius invents these peculiaritics, we
shall have to be content with the very
bungling work of nature. Have's
Register.
A wAxwORK figure of Franklin, ON
exhibition in France, is labeled,
Francklin, inventor of electricity.
This savant, after having made seven
voyages around the world, died on the
Sandwich Islands and was devoured
by savagcs, of whom not single frag-
ment was ever recovered"
A YOUNG man dressed in the height of
fashion and with poetic turn of mind
was driving along q country road, and,
upon gazing at the pond which skirted
the highway, said, ''Oh, how would
like to lave my heated head in those
cooling waters!' An Irishman, over
hearing the exclamation, Immediately
replied, Bedad, you mil ht lave it there
and it wouldn't sink''
They were counting. -"What makes
the stars shine SO dim tonight" she
said, softly. "Your eyes are so much
brighter" he whispered, pressing her
little hand. They are married now.
Il wonder how many telegraph poles
it would take to reach from here to the
stars she said, musingly. Zone, if
it was long enough" he growled.
"Why don't you talk common sense?"
-Rockland Courier.
A SERVANT of an old maiden lady, a
patient of DR.. Poole, formerly of Edin-
burgh, wasundcr orders to go to the doc
tor every morning to report the state of
her health, how she had slept, etc., with
strict injunctions always to prefix ''with
her compliments" At length one
morning the girl brought this extraordi-
nary message, "Miss SIS compli-
ments, and She died last night at eli ght
o'clock!' Chambers Journal.
JUDGE to mendicant whom another
mendicant has had arrested for assault
and battery-What made you beat this
paralyzcd man, your companion in
misery, eh! Mendicant-rll tell you,
your Honor. For a whole month
drew him around in our little cart, we
being partners, and then, when, accord
ing to our articles of partnership, it was
his turn to draw me around for q
month, and mine to be the paralytic,
he refused to fulfill his contract.
A BERLIN genius has invented an in
strument for turning over the leaves of
music. The Berlin man is a presumpt-
Gus meddler. fthis machine should come
into general use, what disposition could
be made of the average young man in
high shirt-collar and hair parted in the
middle who at evening social gatherings
stands up at the end of the piano and
turns over the music for the lady per-
former? He appears fit for no other
purpose under the sun.-NOrristOsC
Herald.
A CERTAIN old gentleman, very rich
and still more stingy, is in the habit of
wearing his clothes to the last thread.
One of his friends, meeting him, ex-
claimed: "They told me that you had
a new hat, and I'll be hanged if you
haven't'' "Oh, yes" said the miser,
looking as if he were a trifle ashamed
of himself, "you see my wife kept tell
ing me that the old one was agood deal
worn out. Well, yesterday was my
wife's birthday, and got myself new
hat for her birthday present"
The London Spectators prediction is
that one of the sensations of the Parlia-
mentary recess will be the conquest of
Mandalay, the capital of Burmah. 1t is
more than probable that mere COM
munication from Calcutta to the Minis
tiers, insisting on Thee Baw's deposit
ton as the alternative of war, would be
followed by a palace revolution, and
the elevation of some man at least as
sane as other men to the Burmese
throne. The British Government is
crushed with responsibilities already.
This very government, not yet in its
teens. has absorbed the Fiji Islands. a