Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1879-06-15
Wit and Hu1nor.
How to mark table linen. -JJnse

Wit and Humor.
How to mark table linen Upset the
gravy.
There's many a cowslip 'twixt the but
tercup and the tulip.
Does the base ball foul lay an egg?
Certainly-the goose egg. &8
The time is near at hand when every
one can have peas in the family.
A sailor off on a furlough is like the. 1
prodigal son when he returns to his spar.
Sea? ir3.s3 s7.g..f aag
! The fat boarder called the mold ON the
pie an oasis---a green spot on the desert.
Railroad fagmen are Of rare courage.
It is not until they are dead. that their
spirits flag. .ssl3 s5.i se.,s,
H In sitting for a picture the person who
winks at the camera gets reply in the
negative. t aEEs E't. a&4
The man with a strawb berry mark, on his
right arm can now sell himself for a
short cake. s,eqs ~
Sickness turned a Western mans hair
from white to dark brown. Probably
the sick man dyed.
An exchange says that Napoleon ~.
is always porting over books. He never
reigns, but he pores.
An Albany florist is endeavoring to ar
range match between a Virginia creep
er and a scarlet runner.
If a man will tell me what he thinks
ov his nabors, I..kan tell him what his
Majors think Of him. .''s
On account of the decided manner of
his spouse, Smythe says that his children
are governed by ma shall law.
81 never waste any time IN listening to
the meaningless twitter Of the blue birds
when the dinner gong is winding its
mellow hum 4
| That was smart boy smashed the other
fellows eggs, and then justified himself
with the remark that it is good for man
that he bare the yolk IN his youth.
| There was never but one shirt maker
in this country who understood how
a buttonhole should be placed in collar
and he died before he could teach any of
the others. sFt
Z A downtown man says be has the best
auctioneer in his family. 1t belongs to
his wife, and it hears of every auction in
the city, much to the lightness of his
purse. ---SzsSzsz>s &Ea- z.==z--T
An agricultural paper advises the farm
er to count his sheep every day. II it
comes to that, we should advise the farm
er to move into better neighborhood.
A Chinaman never swears when he gets
lmad because there are no ''cuss words" in
his dictionary. He simply upsets his
washtub, butts the bottom out, kicks a
dog and feels better. Is
Two sophomorcs entered street car
the first takes the only vacant seat, and
the second sits in his lap. Presently a
young lady enters, and the second soph,
|rising, says, stake my seat, madam.
j Of course no woman ever did such a
thing, but supposing now, for the sake of
argument, as it were, that q woman was
to go to church for the purpose of show
ing her new sacque, would it not be sac
religious, SO to speak?
4 "Here' said a farmer in Syracuse, as he
exhibited a broken jar to the manufacturer
81 packed this jar full Of butter and il
split from top to bottom. Perhaps you
can explain the phenomenon "Oh, yes
.I CAM was the ready reply :"The butter
was stronger than the jar"
A'little girl who had been on rail
road train when an accident occurred, was
told by her mother that she ought tc
thank God for her escape from injury
when she made her evening prayer. She
! did it in this way: ''Thank you, God
for not letting me be hurtto-day; but the
next time I 60 to the. city I'll go in &
wagon" ,.. .r5T
A Western boy thought his mother wa!
fpraying overlong the other morning, ane
| he said: ooh, mother! there's hawk
over the hens.'' The old lady brough
her devot1ons to a poultry standard o
measurements double-quick time, ant
sprang to feet with "Amen Out vic
! | yees, Thomas, and save thin hins."
ssFirst class in ethics, stand up! Brough
! ton, what is truth?'' s'Truth is stranger
than fiction, so it is. is it? Well, maybe
8 lin your case, for have no doubt that i
E Providence has been Just to you, it ha
Imade you pretty intimate with friction
/ |lbuti can't you give me any other 3explana
| ton of truth?'' ssTruth is a disease tina
/ iGen. Washington died Of, an as yo1
! land I weren't alive then, We neve
8 caught it = SIS.
!, Small boy Harry, 5nys Is
Drumming. on the pane,
i Looking at the chickens,
] Draggled with the rain,
Where do chickens come from,
Mamma, please do tell?
s tuVos Lno1u thou come from COOS
) ~ itsEH Know that very we'll
9 Course the old hen matches 'em,
I l5a6s I know that, but then
e Won't you tell me truely, u
e Where'd they get the hen?"
IS One pleasant day, Captain s. stood up
n on the deck Of his steamer, tolling tn
Is last bell previous to her departure, whe
t, The was accosted BY a serious-looking in
n dividual, in the following terms: sAr
e you Captain S. 81 am, SIR" said tn
captain with turn Of the. head and
d quizzical glance. aWhat is the regula
e fare to Leuisville2" 1.-TWO dollars an
& a half.'' s.Well, captain, I am Method
8 list preacher. What will you charge mel
v Apparently in deep study for m,
|! ment, the captain took the measure {
" our clerical friend, and replied in HI
IS peculiar, decided tone. aWell, I CUES
T. we sha'n't charge you cent more tina
It Iany body else!"