Connecticut western news., 1879-07-23
WIT AND WISDOM.

| "A cuff on the wrists is worth two on the ear.
 A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence before him.
 When the abbot plays cards, whas can you expect of the friars
 The simple believeth every word, but the prudent man looketh we'll to his going.
 -Temperance reformers should turn their attention to money-it IS always tight.
 Pagan self-assertiou is one of the elements of human worth, as well as Christian denial.
 The man who started out to urs earth a tramp armed himself with c sncket of water and sponge.
 "A New York lady writes: "H l could have my way every smoker should marry a smoker or live alone forever.
 A Florida lady writes "Do you ask me if was ever comfortablep Chs no I still sigh for the unattainable."
 -"Oh," she said, "I think soda water is sodalicious." He took the hint md soda dime on the harvest field ct love.
 The man who was hit in the eye with a lump of anthracite, explained to his friends that he had merely got coaled in 1t. ,u. os communities, as we'll as of individuals, when silence is sin, and submission 0 crime.
 Nothing surprises young man more than the shape of his head as ne sees it for the first time after his halr has been cropped close. If anger arise in the breast, instant- ly seal up thy lips, and let 1t not go forth for, like fire, when 1t wants vents it will suppress itself.
 Charles Lamb once said that the greatest pleasure he knew was to do good action by stealth and to have lo found out by accident.
 A zealous soul without meekness IS like ship in storm, in danger of Wrecf' A meek soul without zeal is like a shp in calm, that moves not 50 fast as lU ought.
 -"He seems to have been shot in the diaphragm" said the doctor. op' m i' exclaimed his weeping listener, che was shot right in the lower end or the saloon"
 Tt is a high, solemn, almost awful thought for every individual man, that his earthly influence, which has com- mencement, will never, through all ages' have an end.
 A man who has @ cross wife says her parents must have had prophetic glimpse into futurity when they named her Hope, because she IS always ols- playing her rancor. Careful housewife (ifting a shoe from the soup tureen)-" La, who'd a thought baby's shoe would turn up m the soup? But I knew it wasn't lost. never lose anything" The habits of a mans life are shown by his face and his bearing. It IS, for instance, impossible for one to be ad- dicted to strong drink for any length Of time without looking dizzy-pated.
 A rural editor, speaking of quill driving contemporary, says: "Hl' ln- tellect is so dense that it would take the auger of common sense longer to pene- trate it than to bore through Mount Blanc with boiled carrot"
 A Michigan lady wants to know whether or not it is honorable for young man to stand idly by and watch a girl pass out of her teens into the twen- ties and so on down to the shady side or forty still bearing her maiden name.
 -"Have you any objects of interest in the vicinity ?" the tourist asked the Burlington man. "I have, I have" eagerly replied the other, "but l can't get at it to show it to you. It's ninety days' note and it's down in the bank now, drawing interest like horse-race or mustard plaster"
 1 A schoolship for the training ot pirates could be filled immediately with cadets from thesclass of boys who are reading dime novels. Many youth standing by while his mother splits wood for cooking the dinner is within his soul burning to be a hero of the high seas.
 | A wife wanted her husband to sym uatbize with her in feminine quarrel, but he refused, saying: "Ive lived long enough to know that one woman is as good as another, if not better" {" "And l." retorted the wife, "have lived long enough to know that one man is as bad as another, if not worse." During heavy thunder shower in , Hackensack, the Repu6lioan says, when the echoes of heavens artillery rever-
 berated along the sky, sending thrill , of terror through the hearts of timid ones, little boy exclaimed, "Oh, man. ma, guess they're moving up there l , Just hear how they rattle tho tables and