The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1879-10-28
A Secondhand Suit
Detroit Free Press.

A big 1S0-pounder, whose long legs
and bulky body we're jammed into. a
second hand suit of clothes two sizes
too small. entered the Central Station
Yesterday with his ear bleeding and a
bunch on bis jaw As soon as encour.
aged 70 speak, be began: $Aft - ,iHl
"Well, to begin on, I'm mass; and to
end on, I'm fool!"a Hti''' f'ue asa
"I've got that down." said the Cap
tain as be made notes on sheet OF pa-
per.
"You see," continued Bulky, II want
ed to get nv tin-tvpe taken, and want
ed it took with ared necktie on. Red
just shows off gorgeous on a tin-type,
and this one o. mine was going clear to
Iljiany.." -
That's down." ~ .s,ezt..t..7e.f,
"Well, went to clothipg-store
down here, and the fellow he bowed and
shook bands, and his wife she bowed
and shook hands. and be had red neck
ties ranging oil the way from Is cents
to e3,00O,000 ap ece. / got one-here
she is. don't claim to know anything
sb ut carpets, but do believe | kin
! pick out the best red necktie of any
chap of my inches in North America
That's all right, I'm satisfied with the
tie; bnt just put your eye on this SUIT
Of ell tnes!" HtI.es = ear
"I've seen better fits and more harmo-
nv in colols,"' observed the Captain.
"Fits! Why, these clothes was built
fer yeariing calf, while I'm three-
year-old elephant! Harmony! Why,
here's Drown, black, red, green, and sad
die color, all in heap!" H.
"Well, why did you get 'en ?"
"Yes. why did ! get 'em!' repeated
the man as he fell into chair. Write
me down as another fool, and draw q
line under the fool! These ere cloths 9
hung there in that store, and, when thai
ere man smiled and bowed and offered
'em 10 me for Sl5. l had no more idea
uf takin' 'sm than you have of eating
alligator steak for dinner. Then his
wife bowed and smiled and offered 'em
to me for $l3, and said / had the rur-
tiest pair OF shoulders she ever saw.
Then the old man knocked of another
dollar, and said the clothes once belong
ed to o millionaire here, and that, when
| got into em and walked Up the street,
every hat would come off to glorify
me-" 4p5 .tfa ia m
| "And you believed it2" :l rs~ra
"Believed it2 Write me down as an
idiot-a nass--a fool who don't know
ruff to chaw siippery-slm! OF course
/ believed il! One OF 'em was praisin
my legs, and the other my shoulders,
and both smiling and bowing, and ]
took these duds al 'leven dollars-shoot
me if didn't.!"
"And pedestrians took off their hats
TO you, did they 2"ro 7as SIX Us siaa
s.Did they! That's the meanest thing
Of all! I bought these ere things
s'posin' they belonged 20 a millionaire,
but / hadn't got block from the store
when big necked ruff dances up to me
calls me Jim the Kicker, and Gays he's
going to; lick me for giving him awayto
the police. These ere duds sold me
right out 10 minute, and got couple
of cuffs on the head which have kept my
brains playin' pnll-away ever since the
boys helped me up"
IAN what do you want me to do p
make an arrest ?"
ARREST be hanged!' shouted Bulky
as he jumped up, "Doyou s'pose I'm
a squealerp Do l cry when I get Bit
tenp Never! l kin perish, but / can
not squeal! Farewell! !"
| He started for the river, an officer fol
loving at q distance; but he changed
his mind about suiciding, aud was last
sit ing on barrel Of Akron cement,
peeling herring with one hand and pull
ling down his vest With the other, while
an old apple-womsn was saying:
81 s'pose We vaso driven. into them
clothes by machinery but what sort o'
machinery it is thst'll drive ye out ol
'em is more than poor old woman
likes me has business to know"