, 1879-01-19
FACETIAE.

:" 4 hint to ladies' who Will wear outside pock-
| cts. Have your purses made up to look like
prayer books. .''-London Punch.
Bob says that one OF the mistakes of Noses
| was in not browsing around in searrh of a cham
| pagne rock before lie did his smitinE.-Yo7.keys
Gazette.
A late minister Of Biggar, who WIS reader in
the pulpit closed bis discourse With the words,
~ add no more" "Bccause ye canna!" ex-
claimed IN old woman from her pew.
II wonder, uncle" said little girl, stit men
will ever get live to be 50d or LOCO years olda'
mo, my child" responded the old man, that
WAS tried once, aud the race grew 60 bad that
the world had to be drowned.
A country clergyman was 4 good deal aston
1shed one day by the iollity Of the nourners at
the Is breakfast = Of funeral, and was eravely
told in explanation, BLESS Jou, sir, they're not
laughiug-they're ouly assembling their gricf.''
"Cast thy bread upon the waters" said
merry Young man at Har,yinton, Couu.. to lady
sitting next to him at table. and be urbancly
empticd Q handful ct crumbs into her goblet.
land thou shalt find it after ma1lv days" she
RESPONDED, very wittily, dasAing the contents OF
the glass into his face.
Il good story is told OF prominent Troy clcr-
gYni0n- 1t the close Of tho 1norqing service
the other day the pastor read the record Of mar
riages aud deaths which had taken place in the
parish during the past year, and having finished
the leading, expressed the nope tnar the record
would be largely Increased during the next
twelve n1onths.-Oshkosh Adoocate.
People will grumbe In this world. The priv
1lege Of growing is one esteemed by every
American citizen. 4 good story is told OF two
friends. One was inclined to accept the incyita-
bic and make the best Of it. The other was a
him. There was always tly in his jar. They
died and met above. said 30. l." Well, here
we are; did I not tell you that it would come
out all right in the end1' No. p: I suppose
you did; but took cold on the wav; and, be-
side my haio don't fit very eIl.''-Bosfo4t Jour
nal.
y bright eyed 3year-old was seated in his
high chair at the dinner table, Mamma had
placed him suugly up to the table, pinned on
his bio, and succeeded in getting his mischicy-
ons little hands quiet and making him s'hush,"
whcu father proceeded to ask the blessing.
While this was in progress, little chubby made
discovery. It was that all the plates on tho
table, except bis OWN little plate, we're in Que
Pile at ''papa's place. and, as it seemed to
him, were put there to get the benefit OF the
solemn ceremony. So. scarcely wai.ino for the
:'Amen,'' be, held ont bis own plate IN both
hands, saying, t'Piease, papa, pray on my plate,
A young man named Hubbard 1ryrssw With
Perry Norden, ii Serbia. The other night Hub
bsrd "ent to dance, and was out nearly al
nevertheless got up ut the usual early hour, anti
was prcscnt &C family prayers. After tile rese
OF the family arose from their knees it was OBJ
served that Hubbard still remained tn IN humble
attitude, his head resting between his hands on
the chair. The good deacon, thinking that the
young man was in q serious and penitent mood,
concluded not to disturb ltin,, aud went out and
did most of the chores WHICH Hubbard was In
the habit or doing, When Mr.. Worden returned
to the house about two hours later he found
Hubbard still on his knees. Thinking to offer
bin consolation, he kncit down beside the young
man, and then found TINT he was fast asleep
0suygo Times.