The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1879-02-15
THIS AND THAT,


"A highly colored tale-The pea.
D cocks.
, Does an intellectual savage have {
mental reservation?
None but the brave deserve IN,
hair, is how the Rborigine puts 1t.
"A poor relation-A story badly
, told.
"A bird fancier calls his canaries
Riches" because they have wings.
-Epitaph on punster who hung
hlmstlf-"He Is gone. lie has perpe.
trated his last choke"
No one need get discouraged n he
only remembers that he will always I've
worth s25 anyway-to medical stu
dents.
The grocer offered him frozen
ham, but he said he'd rather not take
the cold shoulder from any one.
A Pupil in one Of our public schools
recently revised an old saying found in
his grammar, as follows: 1T is better
to give than to receive-a thrashing.,'
A student inquring for Prometheus
unonund at certain Chapel street
bookstore recently, was informed that
they only kept the bound copies.
While in Western town Camilla
Urso took her violin into the county
poor house and delighted the inmates.
Good girl that to play for nothing to
poor houses.
AN Edinburgh student ask ed: "Whv
is Professor w. the hest revivalist OF
the hge?" and on all ''giving it up
said: Because at the end of every SER
mon there is great ava kening."
"A gentleman stopping in Hartford
| a short time since saw what he suppoS-
ed was boat hook, but was informed
that 1t was Hartford girls shoe, but
toner.
WHY, WILLIE" said his mother at
dinner, lyon can't possibly eat anoh.
er plate of pudding, can you?" "Oh,
yes, can, ma; Que more plate will Just
FL the Dill."
"A temperance society up in Merl.
den dignifes itself by the sppelation,
MT. Ararat Ledge" probably because
that noted mound was the drest spot
on earth when Noah anchored there.
-"Will You have your neck tie in a
single or double bow-kno;?" INQUIRED
the hangman as he adjusted the moose
about the neck of fellow who was
about to execute double shuttle In
hid air. knot either, it am to have
my cl.oice," was the solemn response.
-''Some things" said an excited
politician, 'can he fOreseen aud fore
told; and now foresee AMI | will now
g. f.n sI,k Ia, a.
whenOur liberties will be no more. THIS
is as certain, my fellow citizens, and it
Is as sure AS Rnmeo founded Rome.'
"A conceited young man, In talking
with an aged Clergyman, said, with q
mt st dJgmatic air: IL will never be-
lieve anything that l caunut under.
stand" The old clergyman mildly re-
spOnded: "Then. young man, it 10
probable that } our creed will be a very
short one"
Sympathetic old lady (glving mon
ey to solemn looking tramp: "I, 1t
your inability to procure work my g0ol
man, that causes your detected ARR
S l. t. preparing to light ou): "No,
nom; 1t is my liability to git suthin' "
do that keeps me all the time pensive
and cast down.
If young ladies' attending church
would give more attention to the mum.
ber of the hymn that The pastor gives
out. and not 50 much attention to the
number of himS that are in the church,
they would no be so apt to sing one
hymn while the congregation is singing
another.
"A good man lived in this town
some years ago, who had been blessed
with four good wives. lie loved them
all and desiring to keep them in fresh
remembrance, he gave to one Of his
daughters by the la It the names of them
all, thus: Bathsheba Jemima Trueloye
Los na,
An agent who had sold Drtch-
man some goods was tO deliver them at
the residence of the purchaser. The
dutchman gave him the following direc.
ti0ns: "YOu snOOst goes behind de
church; den you turns up de right for
a while till you come to house with
big hog 10 the yard, Dots me-"
Papa. me has been baptize, aIn't
me2" asked little year old. .'Yes,
DEAR" Then me won't have 70 be ban.
tie agah2', mo; but can you re-.
hehoVi ohgiHlHS huout Dtlnk Dap
tizrd?" 81 dess can!" "Well, what
did the minister do to your" ale
showed up my sleeve aud stuck a knife
in my arm"
The classical student: You ask
''if Atlas supported the world, what
AtlsS?' The question, dear
sir, has often heen asked, but never, so
far a. We are aware, satisfactorily an.
swered. We have always been OF the
OplOiOu that Atlass NUT have married
a Iich wife aud got supported from her
father"
"A Nevada woman swallowed a
piece of silver ore that stuck in her
throat. Sire had heavy, masculine Jaws
and big mouth full OF teeth. When
.he doctor saw what sort of a woman
she was, he told her husband that mon.
y would be no object for physician In
such a case, aud advised him TO let the
Job out to a mining company.
will somebody inform us how Il il
hat the dog, the best. truest, aud most
courageous and unselhsh of mana
rIends, Is used in various expTessiOns
IS indicative OF everything that Is hadP
An obstinate scOundTel Is termed dog.
'ed" and y lug scamp Is "hOund,"
Oward eur" and a bralnless idiot a
puppy" The road to ruin Ia termed
going to the dogs" This Is not fair
o the dogs,
--One night at the Theatre Of San
'arlo, Naples, Dumas the elder found
himself chatting familiarly with q
tranger who, when the play was over,
aid to him patTOniyingly: IL have
'reatly enjoyed your conversation, sir,
nd hope To see more Of you. IL ever
'ou visit Paris call on tue. am Alex
.nder Dumas. "The devil you arel
20 am II" replied the novelist, with a
oar of laughter
"A bright little boy played so hard
he other afternoon that he tel AsIetp
nd was put to bed without hi, supp.r.
The heXt morning he came daWn tn
reakiasl smiling aud happy. NYo0
we're q good boy last night, Harry"
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