Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1879-12-20
HINTS FOR THE ENGIGED.

The little girl 1 lost so long ago.
HINTS FOR THE ENGAGED.
ought engagements to be long or short? 1t
has often been said that nothing helps so much
to steady young man as the being engaged TO
a girl whom he loves, and for whom he works
to prepare suitable home. The Soicttude Of
David Copperfelds friend. Traddles, to buy
bits OF furniture-1ower pots and such like
for the house where he and his betrotted were
to dwell was pretty thing and much to be
commended; but, on the other hand, it Is unde-
niabe that long engagements have their draw
OF each other during the period of probation.
In this case much OF the bloom is taken off the
poetry OF courtship. and no less gliding off the
prospects OF marriage. There may be a great
deal e. say against the policy of wedding In
haste, but young people who take each other
for better and for worse. in all the illusion of
mutual trust and admiration, go througha time
OF ecstacy unknown to those who marry quite
nationally. The homogeneous of such pairs are
halcyOn epOchS to be remembered all a life
long, and II the after periods seem dull and
lovelesS by comparison, yet 1t Is something TO
have lived for however brief a time up to the
highest ideal of felicity. Beside, there Is no
little sweetness in having faced the first hard
ships of life together. II young couple have
to encounter poverty and II they conquer 1t side
by side. tightening all their labors by sharing
them and diminishing their troubles by mu-
forge links which must bind their hearts closer
, and closer together. like to see snug young
wedding day, while his future wife looks on
complacently at the operation as who should
say: Thomas must earn good many more
dollars before he can furnish house good
enough to lodge me;;n but like still more to
see young husband and wife who have fea-
thered their little nest together. 1t is pleasant
to hear smiling woman remarked, 'We had
nothing al all when we married. but see now
how cosy we have made our house." This
means that there has been cheerful hard work
on the one side, thrift and self-deaial on the
other-in fact, union After all, the yoke of
marriage is an apparatus that should sit on
TWO pairs or shoulders; and there Is nothing
very Seemly In seeing a girl walt to wear her
own part OF 1t until it has been nicely padded
with quilted satin.
Looking at the matter from less elevated
point OF view, long engagements are rather tire
some In restricting the liberty or girls. Miss
Jenny, who is going to marry Mr.. Simpson as
soon as that hopeful young man gets living. Is
Obliged in the meanwhile 10 deny herself many
pleasures lest Simpson should take offence. She
must eSchew balls; she must take care that no.
body makes love to her; and for this purpose she
is Obliged to let all chance corners be speedily
informed of her engagement. Unhappily, the
symbolism OF rings is always unregarded, else
the chance corners might discover the fact for
Miss Jennie's left hand II Jenny had no sisters
to talk OF her betrothal, and If her mother does
not accept timely hints to mention it On every
necessary occasion, or the engagement is not
announced In the Home TJH'Rdi, the girl is
rather embarrassed for words in which to con-
vey the news delicately to strangers. She can
would be too familiar she cannot speak OF him
as "SimpSon,n for this would sound strange;
but If she refers to him frequently as Mr.. Simp-
son." strangers might draw undesirable infer
\ enceS from her apparent familiarity with per-
son thus coldly specified. Then the engaged girl
has to put up with great deal Of chaff. which is
only pleasing for while, and afterward becomes
fntOlerable. The trials OF matrlmony are fire.
,quently commended to her impatient attention
by way OF paternal rebuke: ..Ah, my dear. you
will find out that l was right when you are
wife YOURSELF" and so forth; or a Snub is put
upon her toO-hasty wish to consider herself free
by the reminder that she is not married yet, and
that there is many slip between cup and lip.
Sometimes Simpson IS actually held up to her as
a DOGGY: MY dear don't think Mr.. Simpson
would quite approve of your wearing that
cherry ribbon" 'Jenny dear, l think Mr.. Simp-
son would be sadly grieved if he heard you ex-
press those opinions or. Jenny, am sure Mr..
Simpson would not think It proper that you
should pay croquet with Captain Mallet." There
Is enough in all this to make girl sit down and
scream. Simpson, on his side, has to suffer dis
agreeable things from his unsettled status as an
engaged man. So long as he was paying co1rt
TO Jenny. her parents, who favored his advances.
took care to treat him as an hOnored guest He
had the choicest bits OF muffin at tea; he was
placed in comfortable seats near the fire, and
everything he did was always pronounced In
family chorus TO be just right. Flattered by all
this worship, Simpson would imagine that he
was being OF 10 common clay; but on becOm-
Ing lone OF the family" he is soon made to feel
his descent into ordinary humanity. Pater-
1amiliaS no longer thinks it necessary TO fetch
up that extra bottle OF wine after dinner in his
honor; he re-enSconceS himself In the SnuggeSt
mchair. leaving Simpson In small one ex-
posed 10 draughts; and Outlines Simpson is in
yited unceremoniously to dinner on cold mutton
days.
The family appear to think that so long as he
enjoys Jenny's society, nothing else need be
done for him; but, unhappily, Jenny herself Is
not always quite what she was in the early days
of .courtship. girl can keep her defects of
temper hidden for days, but not often for weeks,
and certainly never for months and years. one
day Simpson and she have tiff, and Simpson Is
made TO bear the blame. He Is informed that
n his remarks are unktnd; that he Is wanting In
the true tenderness and charity. that should
grace lover and prospective husband; that he
win lead his wife pretty life If he 'goaS on" in
tarter II Simpson IS a meek man, and they may
lead TO sharp wordy battles, whether tart or not,
II he be a spirited one. In long engagements
young couples are apt to wage those combaUs
for connubitil supremacy which ought by right
only TO he fought after marriage; and whichever
way the strife ends, its conclusion does not tend
the altar, conscious that she has played out all
her trumIS and lost the game for power, much
OF what the French call Pinpiec't OF marriage
is gone. and the girl feels that she is simply en-
fef1ng upon humdrum state of lite whose
petty mSeries and general drearineSS are known
10 her beforehand II, on the other hand, 1t is
The bridegroom who feels that he is about to
enter into domestic bondage, his face may, pos
sibly. not wear that serene expression which
one Is glad to see upon wedding day.
so my advice TO young people who must pass
through long engagements Is to see as little OF
each other as possible; and likewise to CORE
spond spaIingly. Quarrels are easily Matched,
even on paper, and they are almost sure to
arise II an exchange OF love-ietters be COM
menced az the dangerous rate OF one a day, or
week. This pace Is too fast to last.
should say that one letter fortnight
was ample. II this wise abstemiousness
nom the use OF pen and ink be tried;
! II the loving pair see each other but two
9or three times year, at Christmas, at Easter
Tor perhaps half week during the summer:
and II during their separation they remind one
another prettily OF their reciprocal affection by
B1fts OF flowers, trtnketS. nicely-hemned pock-
0Ahandherchiefs and well-worked slippers In
Worsted, then the rocky time OF long engage
ment may possibly be sailed through without
accidents Nevertheless all this leads up TO re-
peaui That when two young people have
Made up Ileir minds to marry, the sooner they
90 SO the Dctter.-tHonle Journal.
The FUNERAL OF Mr.. Basil NJ. Yates at
Chatham. N. c., the other day was yery pecu
liar, and his own directions were Observed very
infinitely. The colin was seven feet long, three
eet wide ana eighteen inches deep. In It were
DlaceQ feather bed and nilory IN xvhi,t So