The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1879-07-16
Spice DI,oz'

An Irishman says that coffin
10 tho house a man lives in when lie
Is dead.
Brass passes for gold in Africa
and by the way, it does here '00'
IN Y. Times.
-Guest-"Wai alter, bring me On .
other dish of oyster soup aud a mag
nifying glass"
Every man could have a wife II
he only maiden effort. But a lass nc
wont Il Nation.
"A good boy may not become
handsome man, but nj e bonnet
becomes pretty woman.
"A mans great ambition is to be
credited with some great feat; a wo-
mans to be credited with small feet
-"rhere is no place like Chica-
90 says Chicago paper, to which
a St. Louis journal replies, "that is
40 and a deuced. lucky thing it Is.
an the bright complexion of my
youth I'll have no such wora as
pale and she reached for the rouge
box with the clutch OF an angel
The young woman who used to
, sing so divinely, "Oh, had l Tue
wings Of dovev' is satisfied with
= chicken leg now. She is married.
j An old bachelor says he's been
80 often deceived by the chicken Of
restaurants and boarding houses
? that he calls it "the mocking- bird.
!, "A young woman has painted the
d nicture of a dog and a tree so lie
t. like that a person can't distinguish
Il the bark Of the dog from the park Oh
d the tree. @@~.@
/ Request of !. charitable society,"
ID as published in church: ANY men,
hers Of this congregation who have
e. left off wearing apparel will please
a contribute the same to the poor!'
Mt -aThat is what l call a finished
ur Sermon said lady to her husoand'
e. as they wendell their way from
lie church. EYES," was the reply with
lis a yawn, shut do you know | thought
ill it never would be-"
he Some men never lose their pres
ence of mind. In New York mar
m threw his mether-in-law out OF
is window in the fifth story OF a burn
:. ing building and carried a feather
: bed very carefully down stairs II
bis arms,
'hs -arm a ruta. baga, and here i
aadss where / plant myself" said a tramp
, of az he entered farm house and sea
ing ed himself at the table. 1--WE alier
veil bile oars,p said The farmers wifi
tile and soused him with dishpanful I
md, boiling water. ss
,eens TT fs said that artificial eyes 4
our horses are now SO skillfully mat
VI That they defy detection. The i'm
gent tation must be wonderful indeed
the 1.-The. horses themselves cannot s
9 90 through the deception.
oosn "Mama, I don't think the peoE
ahos who make dolls are very pious pr
heFe ftple," said little girl to her moth
:. :. ~ :. one day. "Why not, my childF'
= o. aBscause you can never make tn
Isl. ~ Akpeel. always have to lay my q
now on her stomach to say her prayer
80, --Governess (desirous OF expla
ing the word "enough:" snow 8
20 pose, Freddie, that you gave pu
''oaS all the milk she can lap, all the IN
''a. she can eat, and all the sweet G
rnaoe she cares for, what will she hav
ssesu Freddie, with surprising alacrit
shsu "Kittens!"
ect tOl
- AT wedding party at a rest
rant maladroit waiter contrive'
J and upset a tureen full of rich soup
-, the satin dress of a lady guest,
-. took on terribly, and threatened
-, terics. "Do not worry, mads
: 81 said the waiter, "there's lots I
,i soup in the kitchen"
Il bar "A young lady was sitting W
teeth gallant in a charmingly decorate
v;no a cess. On her knee was dimin
. mneh niece, placed there pour les 9
q, har nances. In the adjoining room,
osths the door open, we're Che rest Q
th drop company o"9' 's ,.s,o :,
"a frst- jealous ano -,
lie har. "AuhIie, KISS "e' w.
,,o,,.,s D TO imagine what had just hap
az o,a. aYou should say t,cice, Ethel
III, ibds t'so is not grammar was '''
,.l.e Of date rejoinder'
,,;on How many really excellen