The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1879-08-19
FLIES AND BED BUGS.
Interesting Information Concern.
1o.F ing Both.
How Bed Bugs Made . Governor
for Missouri.

Flies! Well, We read that 6ies ser
created in order 70 punish Pharaoh for hi
wtckesiaesa 10 the Jew. They were prob
ably more beautiful then than nos, but no
no skury. Ii il hard to say whether die
have become any l~tier than they eve
were, although they attend church regu'
larry and take q seat On manh bald head
and sse 40 interested in the sermon they
refuse 70 6y away until after the discourse
paying the almost attention. only they
will penisa in moving all over the slobs
they are ou Il II hard 10 tell their reason
for doing this, - scientists have never gwen
the snbjecs thorough examination, and
the 6ies themseives refuse 10 he Interview
ed bus il il generally conceded by all
learned men that the main reason il he.
cause they get scared when the preacher
hrgins talking Of hell, and begin moving
around to zee where the hereafter il stu
aied, and they are not even polite enough
10 badly to ssy, by your leave, sir" An
other very remarkable thing is, that flies
we're never known 10 die natural death,
bat are'alwsys either lpoiaoned or commit
suicide. They generally prrfer the latter
plan. and always manage 10 jump into
the air just rs = fellow goes TO
take drink, and Of courae manages to get
guIped down every time. Flies are not
dia.stibIe insects-in fact they always
make one sick. This is another thing that
cannot be accounted for but ii il . fact,
1t In sometimes funny To see
a man Who has swallowed fy. Between
dies end women, = var Of determination
has been going on ever since flies were sent
over here, aud the probabilities are the
women msy get the better Of the flies
yet.
Bot We didn't start out TO give our Ger
mon entirely ON flies. No. stranger, We
intend to manufacture something eIe.
Speaking Of 6ies reminds IA Of bal bngs.
A curissns story il related Of . Sesislia
man, he WAS an n. e. once, and nov all
know who he was. He made Q visit to
Jefferson CITY, partly on business. but .
large partly to enjoy few days quiet.
He went into the hotel TO register, and
shiIs he w.~ writing his name = large bid
bug crxwied over the register and stopped
On his name. After gIancing at the intru-
der few moasents he said "See here,
|asdlord, I've canehi feas from the hog. Of
Sedsliz, have suffered like thunder from
he bites Of Washington anoaquisoea, but
liz, damit il. sir. this is the first time ever
s.ve h.d . bed bag 10 look over . hotel
.egister to nee what wss the numb~r Of my
,oom. ObliEe me, sir. BY killing the pois-
,sons beast hsfore il gets a chance to speak
o it, relatives"
Bot We mustn't abuse the bed bugs too
much. A he'd bug made governor for
Missouri At one time. There II no use for
hat look Of zsionisfment. for its 30.
Two candida,es Tor the high Office met
N Je6ernn City, ard after testing the
';rtue. Of hotel one night, both withdrew
rou the race. They mere very anxious
or sl,e ofice. bat were not willing TO take
he bugs With it. They are both are heart
y in favor Of of moving the Capital
"Hs hal ha" you exclaim, "but how
lid that make . governor?
Such fools there 0ortals are! Why, il
lected another man, Of coume.
There are bed bugs Of different kinds and
No one has ever yet completed
liat Of all the different kinds. Ii II in
,oasible to do -, because di6esest vsrir-
ies ere cosstsnsly being added. When
nch . Hat b completed, il il our Purlose
o continue this article. Until thsn. az rc-
OR. ,-f
Ba0fy on.