Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1879-02-15
"You brute !" cried Mrs. Hayes, now

| 1Ou Dfut9 CrleU MIS-. Ahyos, nOW
thoroughly incensed-" take that" and
Selling the plate of mullins she took aim
at Pills head, but. being q woman, her
aim was not so accurate as it might
have been, and the plate went through
the window, smashing in the tile of
Fi,z James Jones, who was passing,
and the mullins we're scattered in wild
confusion about the room.
Phil was indignant. He laid his
hand on the poker.
"Oh, strike !" exclaimed Fanny. 1t
will only be in place with your other
conduct Don't let any notions of honor
restrain you, because you never had
any" ;,
Fanny, beware, you try me too fan"
"I'll go home to pa, that will. You
inhuman monster you'll he divorced
from you this very day. So there !"
and the platter of ham made journey
after the mullins.
Just at that moment, Pills Uncle
John, a shrewd old fellow, appeared on
the scene. He surveyed the group with
an anxious twinkle of the eye.
whats the matter, Fanny? Any.
thing gone wrong?" he inquired.
"Gone wrong Matter enough Oh,
Uncle John, he's wretch, and set out
to strike me with apoker."
"And she threw plate of mullins
and the ham at me-"
"He's monster, Uncle John. I'll
be divorced from him this very day.
He is worse than a savage"
$50 he u.s." cried Uncle John, enter
ing warmly into the spirit of the thing.
$50 he is stripping off his coat
land I'll settle the matter at once.
You stand back, Fanny I'll give him
such thrashing as he'll be likely to
| remember. Striking his wife with o
poker indeed Ill rectify matters ;"
and Uncle John grasped the long
handled feather-duster and aourished
it threateningly around the head of his
nephew. "There, sir, take that !! and
that and that!" ex claimed he, bring
ing down the feathers on the shoulders
of the amused Phil. Fanny, my
dear, I'll not leave a bone of him
WHOLE"
Fanny's round blue eyes had boon
growing larger and larger-and now her
indignation broke.
"John Hayes !" she cried, you're
heather, and an old, meddling vaga-
bond Let Phil alone He's my dear,
dear husband, and you've no right to
touch him. He is an angel. He never
intended to strike me. Be still striking
him, or you'll be sorry!' and Fanny
seized the broom from behind the door,
aud prepared to battle.
"Stand back |" cried Uncle John,
he's monster, and deserves death.
The man who would threaten to strike
q woman should be hung"
Fanny's eyes blazed. She flew at
Uncle John with the spite of tigress,
and the way the trio went round the
room was worth witnessing. Uncle
John after Phil with the duster, and
Fanny after Uncle John with the
broom.
Phil made spring for the window,
but there was whstnot in the way,
and getting his leg entangled in that,
he brought the whole concern to the
focr. Ambrotypes, books, vases, rare
china, and a hundred cherished curiosi-
ties, all we're involved in a direct ruin.
Phil went down with the other things,
Uncle John stumbled over him, and
Fanny only saved herself by Selling the
bell-rope, which brought her two SER
wants 10 the spot.
OF course they took Phil and Uncle
John for housebreakers, and if Fanny's
| explanation had not been enforced by
sundry touches of her broomstick, the
consequences might have been serious.
The first moment.of calm was seized
upon by the young couple to embrace
each other.
my angel Fanny ~
"My precious Phil ~
And then followed an explanation
like the bursting of beer bottles.
Uncle John left the house during this
interesting performance, still firmly of
the opinion that the surest way OF
reconciling wife to her husband is to
get third person to abuse him.
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