Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1879-01-22
TIE Fast, AbOui sam snyasf. .edi iot

BJng WAS there. with his legs cooked
up againSta p st and his chair tilted
lack. DR.. Murray was running his eyes
down column Of the county paper,
wcCn he suddenly said:
"Ilalloa ! This is queer Why it
says here that an English Chemist has
succeeded in making whiskoy OF saw
dist!"
That's nothing said Abner Byiag.
How do you mean )thinsY asked
the doctor.
Oh It's old. a@fi, old. | knew that
years aso. DIR you ever meet sam
Snidcr'
No never met Mu.
'Wcll. Sam, was harl drlnkcr-
must have rum ole way or the other.
lie had no money and noone to trH,l
or treat him. So sam somehow ascer-
tanned that whiske) could be made of
sawdusl, and do you know what he'd.
Ior
What?
He'd get 50 drunk N Of a frncera.l
and a cross cut saw that he could not
tell a COW from a sugar cured ham. Put
him near to a woodpile and a saw buck.
and let him alone aud before eleven
O'Clock he turned OF the most delicious
mial julips YOU ever tasted
'Etsily done. was it"
Easily? Why one time his family
tried To kerphim sober by putting him
Oh the ro,faad keep ~ him there aAd
do YOU knoG what Sun did: Gota boy
10 lie wash bJilsr aud .ou, feet oflead
pipe 20 a -irins. and in three days lie
uad turned every shinslc into cocktails.
ana il fell through the garret in such
lrishiul condition Of intoXicaiion that
they had TO gvr hi II electricity from a
lorly.two cell battery to briag him lack
To con,ciousucss.
'Ycu know that to be a fact, DO you:'
'Ccrtarly. | va, there, Why, that
man acqurela preference for whisky
made Of woodland three times to m,
certain kno@ledse. he g,t mania potu
rom the Consumption Of distilled pie
boards aud potato masher>. He drank
up four ,eis OF char legs; and one
Fourth Of July when his wife stopped
his destruction Of her furnit are. he eel
cbraud the day by calling in ,hgee
friends ID drink a new kind Of energct-
ic brandy that he lad ja-c made out OF
q audow sill and clothes prop. Drink !!
81 hy, sir. l pledge you my word Snyder
IN single winter drank up a smoke
h,u,e. three wI>hlu5s.and a fgsnt door.
Not.in, could top him when he got
-oug.'
'Why did be prefer domestic uicn-
,l-Y
lie didn't. There was woods out
back OF hi, house that belonged to his
aunt. Sand 20 ont there witha meat
saw. or an, kind Of saw he could get.
and in tnoye rs he had stimulated his
system with eight chestnut trees four
rersimons ten oaks. and fife, Il sapIngs
Of various kinds. Tbioned the grove
out SO his aunt couldn't rent it out to
picnic parties! Nearly broke the old
ladl's heart too
Did he Kill himself drinking|
~, Il. not exactly. 1t seems that be
WAS amled f.r lons time by the idea
th,l il he coull @i,t! the Presbyterian
s.e,ple hc could turn out IN article
,ia,'d bear resemblance. somehoN. To
o q apple brandy. Queer wasn't it? Bm
uc man was not exactly right; lis miad
Na, disased. 50 oue night he got On
the roof To steal the sierple. When lie
,ol there-I dunno how it was but The
ilea struck him to taste the thing. may .
b.. t. sec II he was right in the hATor'
and he must have been wild when he
did il. he actually swallowe the wealth
er cock. and there he stuck whrlEg
around IL, the wnlsru,k hon! DaAd'
lIe WAS deader'n Mrum Van Buren,
when they took ain down!
.HeswalloSed the weather co;k, did
hc?'
Yes sir; swallowedi it,
We'll. il wasn't halfso hard 10 swal'
loo a. Your yaru,' said BlN Ter.
You don't doubt my veracity' |
one p said Abner. You do! Well.
n,olhays a Qurter about you it Will
,,othe my wounded feeling. l only
aau a.
Atthis junctare B'yler kicked Mr..
B "a. of the porch. and Abner walked
away to the next tavern with the faint
non. tat the bartender mig give hi
credit one more chance.
-, 20, e.------
.f,Yyprnrn THAN pIOUS.-B Boston