The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1879-10-18
NUMBER /.
PASSING sMxn.

| GtNc Noittt III iayCts
A PAIR Off an clipping couple. oa
IT is spring that brings re-leaf TO the
| tree.
WHICH is the most ancient of treesf
The elder. e&
THE Board of Education--a school
masters single. as .9!of r94l
The flower of the family is generally
found in q sacque,
The man with no teeth is always
looking for a soft thing. aE
THK new broom sweeps clean when it
is properly handled, a. -. ~ a.ls....,
The trapeze performer is sometimes
heels over head in business. 99.i vs.
A COLUMBUS (Ohio) young lady wants
TO kiss Joe Jefferson. Let her, Rip
IAN undertaken at q wedding is the
rite man in the wrong place.
/ Why IS a ship the politest thing in
the wofld2 Because she always advances
with bow u3Ri ho5s l9#s ai
THE time is coming when. a buffalo
robe will cover two hearts that beat as
one Aseai sa p ao ils3a tasil
I9nNERo, Pompey and Caesar are common
names for dogs, but wouldn't Agrippa
be more appropriate.
THERE are great many people who
swill never go to heaven unless they can
60 at excursion rates. =ss
A MANS faith is often shown by the
length of time for which he subscribes
for his paper and pays for it in advance.
MAN wants but little here below.
True, and saleratus in the breakfast
biscuit is no exception TO che general
rule. alHaar'.a tygsh te yesmi
A. WAC who had lent minister a
horse that had run away and thrown the
clergyman, claimed credit for spreading
the gospel bra si3 lil or
The supreme moment Of a loafer's
life is when candidate asks for the use
of his influence with the workingmen of
his ward 81. .d faa hsf
| A WISCONSIN city, in order to avoid
scandals in the girls schools has decided
that the leading teachers shall be
women. They want principals, not men.
STUDENT fresh from college, to con-
ductor; al wish to get on the penulti-
mate car" Conductor--"We have no
peanut car; You can take the smoker"
Mutually Disguised. ge s'is3
The Rochester Express tells Of per-
son who was born, married and buried
on the same day" We never heard of
any person being married as young as
that all ake 49, ~ M
KNOW not which Of the twain lifts
man the higher genius or gentleness.--
Henry Ward Beecher. No more do
we; but we'll back mule against
either. = Boston Post
YOU'VE Lady-"J John, how long shall
you be, as / want to practiceT Gallant
Young Gardener with a noisy lawn
mower --"Oh, goo yeouw on, Miss Amy
GOO yeouw onl j shan't mind var
noise ps-London Punch. YaS3 feaFg
AFTER you've tried it few times
you'll find it out that 1t isn't judicious
to give the man across the table the
point Of an overwhelmingly funny story
Just as he has filled his mouth with
coffee. ~ 4.
HORSES seem to require more water
now than during the summer, and it's y
poor neighborhood that has no saloon
7 with pump in front Somehow the
animals like TO drink in front of
saloon. 81 .s.aseo Pqs, ,aesa
IT is against the law TO carry concealed
arms, yet it is nothing uncommon on
moonlight evenings to see young ladies
with half concealed arms around their
waists. But they amt the kind that 60
off; they stay there. Z y i.fA F
JOE Cook is at Ticonderoga ciphering
out the reason why the unknown pre-
ponderance Of the luminous ego causes
heterogeneous infnity of the deplorable
bioplast to give way before the laughter
of the soul at itself. 81 ~ fasls
A LONDON servant girl is represented
by Judi as saying: lizard weather, in
deed, sir. l wish the Lord would take
the weather into his own hands again,
instead of trusting it to them Yankee
| probability men. We might then get
something fit to live in"
"THE first step toward getting re-
munerative employment" says the Bos-
ton Transcript, ais to learn to do some
thing that everybody can't do" just
SO; one might, for instance, learn to
stand on his head and play on Jews
harp.
Is" GLEN! is dem punkins mellerr'
"Why, dem amt punkins; denis aigs."
""Aigsl go way Glenn, you'm steppin' on
fax; why, aigs don't KUN wild yaller
shells" 90 yes, Pompy dem Chimney
fellers duz up chores differen' from us,
an DER chickens alters draps DER aigs
wild de yelk turned out"
| A YOUNG lady was endeavoring to
impress upon the minds Of her Sunday
school scholars the sin and terrible
punishment of Nebuchadnezzar, and
when she said that for seven years he
ate grass like COW, she was astonished
by a little girl, who asked, Did he give
milkp W
A LADY with little boy went into
well known restaurant the other day
and after the two had absorbed food,
demurred against paying for what the
child had eaten, on the ground that he
was under ten years of age, 1t was
with some difficulty that she was made
to understand that railroad rules do not
apply in eating saloons
THEY were counting: "What makes
the stars SO dim to-nightT' she said,
softly Your eyes are SO much
brighter" he whispered, pressing her
little hand. They. are married now:
AZ wonder how many telegraph poles it
would take to reach from here to the
stars" she remarked, musirgly. One,
if it is long enough" he growled. "Why
don't you talk common sensef''
How much fora pearl he asked,