The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1879-02-24
CURRENT HtImoR.

David made 'rum" sling when he killed
| Gollah. and rum slngs have continued to kill
men ever sinee.-IOttawa Republican.
The Mormons are improving. They no
| longer dare assassinate GENTLE I'm broad
dayilght-lDetroitF Free Press.
man may love his country and go to
| Congress who cannot enumerate the States
| Of the Union and their capital cities, Nc
| Gregor la News
"A friend In need Is friend indeed" At
| least he appears so to you when he wants to
| borrow dollar and o ball. -tGowanda En-
| terptlse
| Every Boston father of son should reflect
| that he Is In danger of arrest for breaking
| the pence--in other WORDS for raising n Hub
| bub.--t Boston Transcript
The man that carelessly investigated some
excavations, that were llahked with red
| flag was called "a blasted idiot" by the u1-
feeling eoroner's jury New York News.
They sat close together on the lounge. He
| Is dilgent reader Of dime novels, aud she
has read the Hartford papers thoughtfnlly
for the past month He MAY these loving
arms Of mine encompass yen orcumambient-
lyT She-"Yes, dear, II your acoustics are
all right Hartford Journal.
Fortune very closely resembles coy
young girl, who Is playing young man ns
he would a trout. II she finds that you have
the pluck to be Indifferent she is apt TO bestow
your heart che will do II just for the pleasure
Of meDding IL again.
An old servant enters the shop Of an apotb-
ecary, and presents him q prescription In
which Ia ordered portion containing two
decigrammes Of morphine The apothecary's
assistant weighs the dangerous ingredient
with The greatest care. what a ehamef'
said the old woman tn him, with shove mt
his elbow, '"'Oome, don't be so stingy, It's for
an orphan"
The Rev. Joseph Cook ON o boy who
climbs tree to steal apples: 'rhe apples
are the objective natural motive, the boys
appetite is the subjective natural motive, his
intention In his mOrrl motive" II Ia hardly
necessary to add that the boot or board the
owner Of the orchard applies when he catches
him Mt Il is the boys natural locomotive
Boston Transcript.
young man came into Danbury from one
Of the numerous suburbs 10 learn cabinet
making. The morning after his arrival he
was sent up to the roof of the bull ling to
shovel off the snow Fifteen minutes later
he came shooting into the street from the
roof carrying tho shovel so carelessly MS 10
knock farmer out Of sleigh. Long ere the
sun sank In the west he had gone back to the
old farm Danbufy News.
At dance party the other evening, Nelly,
after delightful waltz, being of course very
warm, her partner devoted himself 10 cooling
her off. Turning around md facing him, she
asked: "Why am | like certain animal In n
menagerieY" He didn't know, ne said "Why,
I'm % Nelly-faDuedr' she said. He imme-
diately asked for the position of keeper. and
their engagement has since been announced.
If,ae i Sunbeam.
Judge fseverely)-"How do you know the
defendant Is 2 married man. Were you ever
at his house" mo, sir" "Do you know him
personality "No, sir" "Do you know his
wife" No, sir "Dld anybody eyer tell you
they were marrledi" "No, sir; but whfn /
soc n man and woman come 10 the same
church regularly for three years, occupy the
same pew, and have n hymn-book apiece to
sing out Of, / don't want 10 sss no marriage
certificate from them. can swear TO their
relation all the time" Verdict for plaintiff.
Little Nellie was looking at Woolrs "Wild
Animals when Mr.. Jorklns called, and APP
pealed to that gentleman to explain one Of
the pictures. "That Is wild boar" said he.
and the little lady looked at 1t thoughtfully
and replied: 1T don't look like you, does It,
Mr.. Jorkns p II hope not responded the
guest. WhyY' BECAUSE" said the art
less infant, mamma said when your card
was sent up, There Is that old bore Jorkins
again. And 1t WIS n full minute before
mammals frozen lips thawed sufficient 10 in-
form the nurse 10 was Nellie's bedtime.