The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1879-08-08
Items.
The hack mans business Is driving.


Pride goeth before fall, but a great
deal of bad language cometh after it.
"A German physician orders fresh fruit
and oysters for gout and indigestion.
--Gotham's lawyers are the men to work
with will says the New York Mail.
OF all classes that employ the brains
men of science are said to live the longest.
Eighteen hundred girls under twenty
years Of age were married in New York last
year.
-One who knows says that mixed voices
don't produce half as much music as mixed
drinks do.
-Bsss's brewery yielded profit of $2,-
900, 900 last year, to be divided among eight
partners.
Market quotations do not affect the
price of liberty, which always remains at
eternal vigilance.
A Maine paper complains that money
is tight there. And this in the heart of the
prohibition paradise
Why is a corner peanut-seller like an
apothecary? Because he does business on
the small scale, Puck says.
Worth says English women do not dress
as extravagantly rs the women of France
and America.
1t has been observed that although
"birds in their little nests agree" whales
often come to blows.
"A little girl, on being shown neigh
bor's bonnet said Mother says it's per-
feet fright, but it don't scare me-"
-"Can clergyman marry himself?" asks
an exchange. All we can say is, that if he
does, he gets duced poor wife,
Seventy vessels, from five TO seventy
tons burden, with $50 men are now engaged
in the Key West sponge trade.
A well known walkist makes the aston.
ishing announcement thct he is about to
cover two thousand miles 'on his feet"
There has been fresh appl cation of
"hHrdly ever" invented. 1t runs thus :
Quoth the raven, never-well, hardly ever
more.
Under the sceptre the Czar of Russia
live thirty-eight different nationslities, each
speaking its own language, which is foreign
to all others.
An attraction at a recent church fair
was shooting gallery with five shots for
ten cents. We,hope that the moral aim of
the gallery WAS good.
divorced wife, who sues her successor for
alternating the affections of her former hus-
band.
Experience in Africa proves that the
bayonet is poor defense, and the propriety
of arming the British infantry with revolvers
is discussed.
When you are losing money, the most
economical thing you can do is take in q
partner. That is the way careful business
men do.
Men prate about women looking beau
tiful in calico, but somehow the young lady
who promenades once in calico, never gets
second invitation.
The New Orleans Picayune assures us
that dreaming on piece of wedding-cake
is not always sure thing. Mince pie and
cheese are much more certain.
Painting" says Charles Blanc, "holds
the middle place between sculpture, which
we cen see and touch, and music, which we
can neither see nor touch."::
There is man in the Taunton aims
house who, little more year
ago, was assessed and paid one hundred and
1T is a common belief of philosophical
minds that the anticipation is more enjoya-
BILE than the realization. This applies to
strawberries-when you eat too many.
MIR. Edison might turn his attention to
the invention of a patent safe lock, which,
when meddled with by burglar, shall seize
him, handcuff, and take him to police-sta.
tion.
"Never put off till tomorrow what can
be done to-day" is a pretty good motto |;
but the man who elieves in it firmly will :,
nevertheless, delay a visit to the dentist as
long as possible.
When tireless book agent left small
town, after getting all he could out of it, the
people had just spirit enough left to remark
that, by going away, he was "filling long
| felt want"
-Dairymen may be interested to know
that there are 10, ,705, 900 cows in the United
| States, which represent value of $299, ,705,
0OO: The country can certainly stand on
herd dignity.
"A New Jersey grocer can fill q dry CO.
coanut with water and plug up the hole so
deity that the small boy suspects no cheat.
And yet men say that inventive geuius is
in its infancy.
"A lady, who has long been recognized
as an uncompromising opponent of the use
of tobacco n any form did &C.
tually account for early rising, the
other morning, by saying she was cup to
snuff the early breeze.
The average salary of Methodist minis
ters in fourteen Southern conferences is
said to be 1912, and the average amount
paid $42S. In Northern conferences the
average is 800, and the deficiency in pay
ment about IL per cent
Rev. Samuel Marks Episcopal minister
at Huron, Ontario, has Just preached "a ser
mon on his fifty fifth anniversary of his Or
dination to the ministry. He is so years oi
age. He was ordained in Philadelphia, by
Bishop White in 1924.
AN Oil City boy, who had run away
from home, and at last returned, was asked
if his father killed the fattened calf tor the
prodigsl. "Not much," he replied. 81,
didn't kill the fattened calf, but he wsnteS
to slay the prodigal."
We read that the Strand Theatre, Lon
! don, recently had the following droll SO
, quence ofplays on its bills: Engaged, ;,
"Msrried, ""Bsby." All very natural, ant
if 1t had only followed these up with adj
vorce," the list would have been complete
Some of the missionaries in South Afri
ca are engaged in an attempt to prove tina
! the Zulus are lineal descendants of the los
9 tribes of Israeli Ut is said they have gen
orally marked Jewish features, and thei
/, language is full of Hebrew idioms."
: Emerson, on his 10th birthday, was O
ship board. Onei of his FELLOW passenger
A congratulated Mr.. Emerson on his birthday
health, and vigor. "Ies yes - said th
o Concord sage, in his most reflective tone
= 'but consider it the end of my youth.
: The Protestant churches of Irelan
n complain that they are constantly losin