The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1879-06-07
WHY'S: WISE HND WITTY.
-Woman's qucSt-Conquest.

-Woman's qucSt-Conquest.
The ways of the world-Roads.
Always pointed and with one eye TO
busincss-A needle.
A London tradesman advertises
Ladies' slawls for dinner and breakfas
The young lady who married her
theirs coachman says she was driven to
Folks who have been doing nothin
Winter are now going off on Sun
vacation.
-" But will not linger upon this pc
us the preacher said when he sat dowrol
the carpet tack.
A farmer was killed by his hired man
and the coroner's verdict was, Death by
his own hand
Market quotations do not affect the
price of liberty, which always remains ~
eternal vigilance.
some men forget childhood so
that they never learn the fact that
napkin is not 4 bib.
Brown says that Il married man
times finds himself to be an April foo
after the wedding March.
An amateur singer frightened 1
canary birds to death. 1t was ca
killing two birds with ones tone.
A crust of bread with content
Herewith is better than dish of st
berry ice cream with Il sore tooth.
The Gar, we hear, is very nervous
is so long since he has been shot at tina
fears the assassin is busy practicing.
Spring poetry may be worked over 10,
Summer, and it will do very well, provided
a little more warmth is thrown into it.
60 1t IL the little bits ov things that fret
and worry us" says Josh Billings: "we
kan dodge an elephant, but we kant a fiji.
The happiest moment in Il boys life is
when he can smoke cigarettes in the pres
ence of his paternal without endangering
his life.
-Germany's custom of celebrating the
return of Spring by a song at sunrise
wouldn't d" in this country. Nobody would
81 up III 'iiiN w
-Hamlin, under sentence of death in the
Connecticut prison, sells photographs OF
himself and gives the proceeds to the widow
of the man he murdered
An old miser having listened to a pow
erfnl discourse on charity, said: That ser
mon ST. strongly proves the necessity of
amSgiving that I've almost II mind to beg.
A lady told her little son, who was
teasing for something to eat, to wait until
breakfast. With tear III his eye, he burst
ont: 81 Jest honestly sometimes think YOU
are a stepmother.''
"A wife, having lost her husband was
inconSoable for his death. Leave me to
my grief she cried, sobbing: "you know
the extreme scnsibility of my nerves: Il
mere nothing upsets them"
-" Never, ">says n writer on etiquette,
take bits ont of your mouth with your
hand" He is evidently writing for the
lower class of society. People of tone and
culture never take bits out of their mouth
with their hands. They remove them with
a fire shovel
=" Fact is, said Smith, 81 intended 10
return your book Il month ago; but Brown
saw it on my table, and he begged SO hard
that | lent it TO him. Just as soon As he
returns it, I'll bring it home" 81 see,'
said Robinson, more in sorrow than in anger
this is a case of book keeping by double
lentry."
"A man coming out of a Texas news
paper office with one eye gouged out, hi.
nose spread all over his face, and his ear
chewed of, replied to a policeman who H.
terviewed him, 81 didn't like an article
that 'peared in the paper last week, an |
went in ter see the man who writ it, an he
was there
-"But you know, pa" said til farmers
daughter, when he spoke TO her about The
addressing of his neighbours son, "you
know, pa, that ma wants me to marry II
man of culture" $50 do !, my dear, So
do |; and there's no better culture in the
country than agriculture,