The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1879-01-22
,MoRE OF fdTFS TR0UB1ES.
ED WARD TELLS OF THE DUMP
GARLAND EXPLAINS
TO THE DOG.
WoIrCRrrK nEnn Ian n

nOb4Cc3 AAuCC the puOllcatlOu l0Isny COM
munication on Hind Pockets in Pan is,
that great many persons have patches
where those pockets used to be. There
are lots of them up here, and III bet if
you viii lift the coat tails of some of
your town citizens, you will find they
are wearing patches instead of them
pockets
l am so much encouraged believe /
will give you an account of later hair
breadth escape. really believe I will
be handed down to the latest posterity
as benefactor. q. .ga. us
Well, this latest grief pertains to rail
roads, dump-cars and ''sich," and as /
suppose all the railroad men and mail
agents read your paper-that is if they
can beat you out of the subscription-I
hope some of those reckless creatures
may profit by this bit of my experience.
Here it is
Last Saturday night we had a very
heavy rain up here, and it washed away
part Of the Big Greek railroad bridge.
So we got down there Monday morning.
We had to take a dump car-some peO-
pie call it alleaVer car-and / guess that
is right, for it leaves things in bad fix
sometimes. 1t is a car that works two
'cranks and four big niggcrs, and has q
board about four inches widee and two
feet high for a seat, and after you get
thoroughly into the business ysu naag
balance on it. Well, we had our noble
conductor aboard, and with his expert
enGe as q steersman we got to Morris
town all right, eXcept-it made me feel
like had nursed my sweetheart for four
hours and was too gallant to tell her l
was tired! l anticipated a nice time SIT
ting round the corners and whiting
and the like, until that bridge was fixed
up, and l didn't care whit if it took a
week. But, alas a telegram came
The mail must go at all hazards"
kinder questioned the authority, but
yielded. The next morning was bitter
cold, but we started, and it so happen
ed that my share of the four inch board
was wet-and it was lucky thing-for
/ soon froze tight to it. Well, we done
very well until we started down the
south grade of Irish Cut hill, steep
grade. We were making up some lost
time, when, all at once, the hind end Of
the car began to flop up and down. and
the men to jump off over my head
but, like the sailor boy on the burning
deck, didn't leave my post whence all
but had fed. [ broke all the buttons
off my clothes trying to jump out.
could no more jump than a toad that
had eaten four pounds of shot. | had a
good laugh at the other bows for being
scared SO and jumping off. They all
soon loaded on another dump, and
called to me to join them, when l had
to acknowledge that l couldn't bulge,
and then they had their laugh. So they
came back and scraped me loose and
helped me to straighten, and fixed me
on the four inch board again-and ev-
erybOdy seemed cheerful but me. I
was thinking all the time that If | had
to be frOst-bitten again would select
4 place where it would be more conve-
nient to apply roasted turnips. We
made connection with Buncombe No. !,
at Big Greek, and thence to Wolf Greek
on time. l had good nights rest and
started back next morning thoroughly
thawed out. Took the dump again at
Big Greek. -
1t was still very cold, but I managed
to get dry place, and we got on very
well, Our cOlored boys had sung all
their corn songs" and had gone
with the accompanying gesticu-
latIons with their heads and bodies, and
we were all feeling very cheerful until
we were going down the Irish Cut hill
again, Il suppose you all kow where
that IS. 1t is one mile south of Frog
LeVel), when we saw a couple Of lads
coming toward us, with large gentle
manly looking dog following them
Right here | must digress to tell you
that have had trouble with the dogs
ever since my canvass in Granger and
damblen, two years ago. l had signed
a petition to the County Court to tax
logs. tried to explain out of it by
saying | had my sheep killed, and my
leighborS had had their sheep killed..
and that | had reconsidered and changed
my views on the dog tax questionable
The Democratic party had on all leading
questions, ETC.; but they didn't believe
4 word of it, and the whole race has had
/ mortal grudge at me ever since. Well,
We were moving along at lively rate
until we got within ten steps of that
log, and he stopped and looked me in
he face, and grinned, and stood there
until our dump knocked the mind out
Of him. | opened my mouth to say,
There, take that p when l felt myself
cave the scat. Then l thought rapidly
principally about neglected Sunday
Ichools-missionary work-taking up a
;ollection-and who would succeed me
n the family circle, etc. My Teveries
we're disturbed, however, by my head
coming in contact at right angles with
he iron railing, and the next thing
was pile of mail sacks
ying across my abdomen. But my
soon lifted me up and helped
o get the dirt out of my ears and nose.
looked back about ten steps and there
TODD the boy looking down on his dog
aging, Poor BanquO, poor Banquo."
could not say amen-it stuck in my
hroat-and Banquo was threshing the
ground with his tail like used to thresh
eed oats. For the balance of that round
rip, lay flat of my back on the floor
If that dump, and got one of the niggers
o stand with his foot on my body.
New, sir, l haYe been in the army
)ut never was in fight have plowed
n new ground, and have been kicked
With the pillow handle just twelve inches |
below the chin-L have knocked my
oe-nails off, and had pet chickens to
)eck the scabs-I have broken young
been caught on railroad |
bridge and had to suspend myself by the
lands until the train passed Over-but,
or genuine, high-toned excitement,
lone of them is a circumstances By the
ide Of killing dogs with dump cars.
But there is one consolation, Banquo is
afe in ditch; he bides with q don't
NOW how many trenched gashes on
lis head But that ditch is too near the
abroad track, for ''Banquo smiles upon
ne" and seems TO say, You had liked
o have been my meat.
Now, l am willing to compromise |
Nth thatsdog, though he hasn suffered |
S long as l have. | will quit even and |
ook to the railroad for damages, which
ay friends have assessed at from ten to |
wenty five thousand-but don't know |
lhich l win take yet. You can kill
og with n button, or . little strychnine, |
r tie rock to his neck and throw him |
4 a holein a creek, but if you want to
i'll any more with dump car, if you
rill excuse me, / will step aside and not
One of the worst features of this case
Ias the fact that when the merchants i