The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1879-01-16
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
SATISFIED at last-A contented shoe
maker.
The snow on Mt. Washington is ten
feet deep.
Is THE fellow who tends an oyster sa-
loon an oyster supeP
AaoorxD soff0w2-1Askslixt man with
the toothache what it is.
No GENTLEMAN of refinement now
says "Cheese itr' but "Please swim
outr'
| 81 SUFFER Kate" remarked a small
husband, as he was warmly embraced
by about 250 pounds.
LINEN busters dyed black do not de-
ceive men who know what good over
coats are. They are too thin.
ALBERT SMITH once wrote his initials
underneath, Two-thirds of the truth -
A HARTFORD beau has just made the
startling discovery that girls ribs run
up and down. OF course it's 'sso.-Da's-
bury Nes0s.
IT is little surprising, where there
are so many different minds to please,
that all the meeting house steeples point
in the same direction.
The telegraph, operator at Holly,
Mich. stepped out to get bucket of
| coal the other night, and while he was
gone some one stepped in and stole his
stove.
THE five stages of brandy and water
First-Brandy and water. Second
Branny and WARNER. Tbird-Bran
war;. Fourth-Brraorr. Fifth-Col-
lapse!-Punch.
"IsN'r my photograph excellentT'
said a young wife to her husband.
swell, my DEAR" replied he, "there's
a little too much repose about the mouth
for it to be natural"
The Brooklyn Union asks: " If mar
put his conundrum in this shape VIII
you give me $5p-do you always give
it upP" No; we tell him we haven't
got the answer about us.
The public will be pleased to learn
from the Philadelphia Record that out
of sixteen establishments which were
started for the manufacture of oleomar-
garine, thirteen have gone to the wall.
"How OLD are you, sissy?' said q
Boston Highlands car conductor re.
Gently to little girl who was trying to
ride for half fare. "Nine at home, sir,
but on the cars only SIX" was the ready
reply.
The following explanation of legal
term is offered by a Teutonic member
of the Canton police force: "Ven git
me out habeas scorpions, can chust
so veil catch man where he amt as
where he is"
A GENTLEMAN wishing to send fifty
cents to Iowa City party bored 4 hole
through a silver half dollar, through
which he passed string and tied it to
tag containing the address and stamp.
1t arrived safely.
A PHYSICIANS daughter. called upon
for toast, gave: "The health of papa
and mamma and all the world" But
she suddenly corrected the sentiment,
"Not all the world, for then papa
would have no patients"
THE Supreme Court. of Iowa having
decided that the owner of dog is liza
BILE for the barking of his dog, If there
by damage is done, has also established
the rule of property in dog by giving
a man S75 whose dog was maliciously
killed by q neighbor, the animal being
proven a valuable one.
The English language is wonderful
for its aptness of expression. When q
number of men and women get together
and look at each other from the sides
of room-that's called sociable.
When hungry crowd calls upon a poor
minister and eats him out of house and
home-that's called donation party.
Turner'S Falls Reporter.
"DARN a fool" says Harkins, who
was vexed, to his wife. $50 mote il
be-" said Mrs. H., who was fourishing
darning-needle, whereabouts are
you worn out?'' Harkins said some
people were too smart to live long, and
he was too awfully angry when his wife
congratulated him on his prospects foI
a long life. U, the tongues of these
women.
WITHIN the present century, a beg.
gar in Moorfelds used daily to have q
penny given him by merchant on his
way to the Exchange. The penny was
withheld, and the appearance of the
merchant manifested his embarrass-
ment and distress. The beggar al
length spoke to him. offered him loan
of f50O, and another of the same sum
if it were required. 1t re-established
his affairs.
FRANCIS j. OLIVER, OF SOmeIville,
Mass, kept candy store, and about
the sweetest thing in it was Grace
Matthews, the clerk. Although Mr..
Oliver was seventy-seven years old,
and she only twenty, he thought she
meant it when she promised to marry
him. He gave her $50 to buy wed
ding dress, and she went out as though
to make the purchase, but never re-
turned.
IT is little singular, but the average
citizen, who will fly around, get red in
the face, and work like a steam-engine
for a half hour at q runaway accident,
will spend five minutes debating wheth-
er it is best to have q =" seen" or COM
ply when his wife asks him to get hod
of coal for the kitchen stove. A public
spirit is beautiful thing, but somehow
it's not at home in domestic affairs
NoraOich Bulletin.
The New York Erpress says: "lf the
devil should retire from business he
would leave lots of people with nothing
to do" 1t certainly is sad to be living
in constant fear of losing a situation
but by the time the devil retires there
will be found any number of men capa
BILE of carrying on his business at the
old stand. Men who are now silent
partners in the concern will then branch
out.-Ne,o Orleans Rcayune.
A CHICAGO girl did not wish to mar.
ry her lover, but said yes to his propo-
sal for the fun of being engaged. The
young man was very much in earnest
and when she at length informed him
that she had only been joking he threat
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