The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1879-02-12
EsE TALK ED,

!
f'and the barber reading a paper;
won't have to wait for my next"
and he tossed his hat into q cor
ner and seated himself for a
shave.
How is his? ?" said the barber,
reading from paper that marks
its witty column with q blue
poncil; 10y George, bow's this
pretty good, take it," and he
| read
"Did 20" ever sec pump han
die anything ? Did YOU ever see
a witty ciSm? Who ever saw a
dog cali her?" and the good bar
ber laughed heartily at these
scintillations Of wit, and said that
''some Of them fellcrs are most
blamed clever"
Then he turned to tho yellow
fever department, and, after read
ing three or four dispatches, asked
Jones if he thought the scorrge
would reach Oil City.
Jones said there was possibil-
ity that it would get here by the
middle ofthe winter, and he would
like 20 be shaved and fixed up
before it arrived.
The barber said it was q terri.
bic thing; yawned, laid down the
paper and shuft1ed up to the chair.
He arranged the towels about
| Jones neck, felt his beard, run his
fingers through his hair, scrutin-
lied a Wart on the side of his
nose, turned his chin and asked
him if he had his tooth fixed in
the Oil regions or in New York.
Jones answered as best he could
considering that the barber still
kept bis lip hauled down taut.
After examining tie dental
work on the tooth, which he un-
hesitatingly pronounced a "good
job," the barber let 60 Of Jones'
lip, and went out to throw stone
at d dog that was barking at a cat
in the back yard.
When he came bac K Jones said
he would like to be shaved as
quickly as possible, as he was in
somewhat of a hurry.
"Certainly, certainly" said the
barber, and he spread the lather
over Jones face and began to
hunt for a razor. After examin-
ing several, he began to slap the
strap with one, while he re-
marked that fall had probably set
in in earnest, and that the base
ball fever was about as bad as
ever, &c. Giving the razor one
pull down over the side Of Jones'
face he wiped off the blade, laid it
down, took up another, examined
it's edge and whipped the strap
with it as before, asking Jones if
he thought business was really
picking up any, and if he thought
it would rain.
Jones moved uneasily on the
stocks, and said he was sure there
would be storm, and he wanted
to get shaved and have his NOUS
tache waxed before the food
came.
The barber grew pale around
the mouth and his lip quivered.
"You said that once BEFORE" he
remarked curtly. "Don't say it
again, please, or there'll be trou-
Bile. I'm a gentleman when DEAL
ing with a gentleman, but | know
when I'm insulted; sir"
"Well, confound it all," ex-
claimed Jones, very much out Of
patience, II came here to be
shaved and not to be talked to
DEATH"
"Oh, you want to be shaved, do
you," exclaimed the barber in q
rage. "You don't want to be
talked to death, don't you? A
barber can't open his mouth, can't
he? ., no, barber Is doggoned
machine, l suppose, and must
move about his work like a wood
en- Injun in front Of cigar store.
All right all right! You shall
be shaved and have your NOUS
tache waxed so blamed fast I'll
make your head swim:'
And buckling down TO his work
he shaved Jones il two minutes
and half by the watch, and cut
him seventeen times by actual
count.
Moral-Let a barber talk. 1t is
cheaper than to be kent awav